The Yak - Henny Friday is Back and Better Than Ever | The Yak 10-28-22
Episode Date: October 28, 2022LMTSHYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ha.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, boys.
It's not just any yak.
It's a cognac.
It's a cognac.
Oh, fuck.
Henny Friday.
Ebony says it's racist if you don't do this before we start.
Slap the bottle?
Slap the top. Slap the top.
Brandon, you refused.
You looked at her dead in the eyes and you said,
I'm, yeah, thanks for telling me what not to do. I ain't doing that shit.
You have the keys to the kingdom.
Ah.
Yeah.
I just licked the mic accidentally doing that.
That's gross.
Accidentally, sure.
Who sits in that chair before you?
Bosco, maybe?
That's an empty chair.
So this is just my mic.
So you're good to lick that.
I'll lick the fuck out of it.
Stephen Che?
Happy Henny Friday.
What are the three things you're looking for today?
Gonna rank some nuts?
Three things I'm looking forward to today?
Henny?
Hundreds?
Head?
Yeah, hopefully all three.
Fuck, marry, kill that.
Marry, head.
I'd fuck head.
I think you'd fuck the head.
Fuck the head.
No.
Not you.
No.
Marry the hundreds.
Oh, wow.
Oh, whoa.
Throwing fits today.
What the hell?
Ew.
Special guest, Eddie Bauer.
Eddie Bauer.
That's how you know we love the hell out of you, dude.
I have slowly morphed.
Hello, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
By the way, why is my headphone only can hear out of one ear?
One of the reasons why I was late is I had to take Stella to the vet to get a checkup.
And when I took her there, there was a dog barking in the back.
And the vet was like, like, shh, shh.
And then goes, Hennessy, shh.
And I was like, oh, my God.
No way.
The dog's name was Hennessy.
What the hell?
But anyway, I was afraid that, one, you guys,
I realize I dress like a slob now,
so whenever I put on a collared shirt,
everyone's going to be like, whoa, what's that? No, I don't think, I think you just got a good fall vibe going.
Yeah, I do.
And it's also based in our own insecurities
that if someone does something a little bit different
from what they always do,
we feel like we gotta
roast the hell out of them.
I'm gonna slowly come back
to dressing like a normal adult.
That's my plan.
I don't know what's wrong
with my headphones.
It's like whenever I brush my hair,
everyone's like,
oh, someone got a haircut.
And it's like,
no, I just washed it.
I just groomed.
I just groomed.
The rest of my life.
Mine's the opposite.
When I come in wearing sweats,
Brandon always feels the need to say something. Because your big-ass dick's flopping around. It's the first day of the rest of my life. Mine's the opposite. When I come in wearing sweats, Brandon always feels the need to say something.
Because your big ass dick's flopping around.
That's the thing.
It's my, yeah.
I sit beside you, that print's all up in my face.
I'm going to be painting that thing today.
Who was sitting in this seat?
Rico Bosco.
Oh, motherfucker.
He's fucked everything up.
And your mic is, yeah, your mic is leaving you.
It's drifting away from you.
I can't hear out of one ear.
He's mad at me.
Why is he mad at you?
Because I didn't let him do a little bit today.
Well, he shouldn't get to do a little bit.
He tried to do a little popcorn bit, and I'm like, no,
if you're going to act like a bitch every time the guy's name comes up,
you don't get to spike the football when his name comes up.
If he says Jeff Nadeau's name around me,
I'm going to tell him that I'm going to kill myself.
That's what he did to me on Wednesday.
So should we talk about Nadeau?
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. I think he's innocent. He to me on Wednesday. Should we talk about what they do? Yeah, definitely.
I think he's innocent.
He's 100% innocent.
Should we play the video for people?
The funny part about it is that he doesn't realize that he's 100% innocent.
He doesn't realize it?
No.
He doesn't realize it.
I think he still thinks people think that he did it.
He would know he's innocent.
This girl is an all-time bad storyteller.
I almost shut it off. I was catfished.
I was lied to. I was
cheated. I was...
I think I saw a shortened version.
Please watch this video to the end
if you want to get a massive
kick out of this story, okay?
It is so fucking funny
and I actually need help, okay?
So I downloaded Hinge
not too long ago because um where we go to
school um there's nobody okay alabama everyone is super i literally almost shut this up like i was
like okay it took so long so this guy like left a comment on my one of my pictures on hinge the
other day and it was like really funny i was like okay i'm into this and i normally
don't text guys from hinge like i have never or tinder i never like text a guy from tinder hinge
but this one i was like i'm gonna make an exception like he's why would you have the app
so we're texting on hinge having a great conversation he's very like gen z humor you
would agree yeah yeah like so then he like gives me his number in the most smooth,
like, Rizzy way ever.
What does Rizzy mean?
Like, Rizzest way ever.
Wait, is that what?
Pause, pause, pause, pause.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Rizz double down on it.
Like Riz Ahmed, like named after Riz Ahmed from The Night Of.
Oh.
Like Rizzy game.
What?
No, that's not true.
Wait, what?
Riz.
Are we Urban Dictionary, though? I think it's just good game. You neverizzy game. No, that's not true. Wait, what? Riz. Are we Urban Dictionary, though?
I think it's just good game.
You never heard that?
No.
Riz just means like game with girls, pick up lines.
Okay, so this is where I land.
You guys all think it wasn't.
I do think it was Nadeau because he's got sick game.
But it's not Rizzy.
Gen Z?
He has 60s game.
He has like 40s pull up in a Cadillac game.
He's a chameleon.
He can do it all.
I think he can do it all.
He's got a club in his bag, Rizzy game.
Why Alabama?
Why Alabama?
Because this hinge and stuff is from certain locations.
Sealing broads is nationwide, Kate.
That's true.
There's broads everywhere.
The only thing I would say about Alabama is if it were him,
if he was like, I could see him trying to get like a source from a girl
who's like with someone on the football team or something like that,
trying to get to the bottom of some kind of –
some inside betting knowledge or something like that.
That implies that betting is his number one thing.
You know, broads are his number one thing.
Also, isn't Alabama like 40,000 students?
More than that, I think.
It's a lot.
She said there's no guys here.
There's more guys there than there are in most places.
Yeah, there's no guys with Rizzy game.
Have you seen Large's son?
He's down there with the Rizziest.
I feel like I'm out on an island right now.
I'm the only one who, whether it's him or it's not,
we should comment on the fact that he's got sick game.
Rizzy. It's Rizzy.
It's the Rizziest.
Nadu will steal your bra. Nadu is a confident guy
who posts pictures of himself anywhere. He wouldn't
catfish. That's true.
I hate what Rico did to my chair. I'm
so out of sorts. I fucking hate him.
No, no, no. He just fucked everything.
I sound like I'm underwater.
I know, and I'm underwater
and it's just like everything.
It's a fucking piece of shit.
Why are you so far back?
I don't know.
He fucked it up.
What's in the bag?
My lunch.
I'm all out of sorts.
It's because you fucking dress normal.
Right.
You did this to yourself.
Yeah, what is this?
Yeah, isn't that weird, Kyle?
Pumpkin patch?
They said they got the backup.
They said Stanko and then they said... I mean, Stanko came in and then you come in second?
You're the reinforcements.
Yeah, you're backup like a cop's backup, not a backup second stringer.
Does it sound like an underwater?
Yeah, it's only one headphone.
That's what you were saying.
I'm the backup?
Got my ass protected.
What's that going to do?
I'm sorry.
He has Rizzy Game, but he wouldn't unleash it in Alabama.
When I tell you we're texting all night, like, till like 9 p.m., okay?
What the fuck?
Damn.
This is like, I'm like, okay, this guy's real.
There's no fucking way.
It's on iMessage, right?
Okay.
Who's your hype man in the background?
Then I asked for his last name.
Because I was like, I need to find his Instagram.
Yeah, she's making me a cunt.
There's no Instagram.
There's no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google.
Nothing.
He don't have a Google?
There's fucking nothing.
Red flag, red flag, red flag.
I should have known.
I hate her. But I i was like i have hope and i gave him my snapchat but he like wouldn't add me and so he just like he was like here i'll give you my
snapchat and i was like okay so then late at like 9 p.m last night i add him on snapchat and we
stop texting he doesn't add me back until like midnight and the whole night i'm like fuck like
what this is so weird so he adds me back and sends me a picture but midnight and the whole night i'm like fuck like what this is
so weird so he adds me back and sends me a picture but i'm in bed so i don't open it but i look at
his account and there's no snap score like it doesn't say anything and then i slide over and
it says you and blah blah aren't friends do you still want to chat and i was like what the fuck
let me show you his account let me show you his account. Let me show you his Hinge account, okay? If someone knows this man,
someone is using his pictures.
That's like when you look up, like, hot boy online.
Like, hot boy with curly brown hair.
Like, that's what you get.
Like, this is something girls repost on VSCO.
With her boyfriend?
If anybody knows who that is, let me know,
because it's not fucking real, because listen to this.
I opened the Snapchat this morning.
And this is what happened.
Oh, fuck that chick in the back laughing.
Yeah, dude.
First off, who are they laughing at?
She just.
They got the dichotomy backwards.
She just admitted that they had a beautiful conversation.
He had game.
She outed herself in a bad way.
And he blocked me.
And the do looks good.
That's a huge Nadeau dub.
I don't see it as any, again, I don't think it was Nadeau.
Well, maybe it was.
What if he takes credit for it but didn't do it because it's such a dub for him?
Right.
What if he reversed Catfish and was like, it was me, but we find out that it wasn't him because his game was so rizzy and he just swooned her off her feet.
Right. him because his game was so Rizzy and fucking he just swooned her off her feet right again I don't think it was him but if it were
him let's just play a little thought experiment
first off could it have
been him can you do that in Alabama yeah
why not how do you do that you like
change your location yeah you can change I think
whoa Nick I don't
know I don't
know exactly how to do that I don't fuck with this I
could see this happening to me, and it could potentially ruin someone's life if taken the wrong direction.
Why?
Do you think that no one do this to Kyle?
People have done that to me, but it just wasn't, like, a thing.
What do you mean?
People have DM'd me and been like, is this you?
And it's like a profile of me on, like on Tinder and Hinge, and it's not me.
You guys know I'm tough, right?
This would hurt my feelings.
I would kill myself.
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, I would definitely kill myself.
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
I just see this as nothing but a huge dub for...
I know that it's going to be done on behalf of every single person that Yeah, but Nadeau's – this is a dub for Nadeau.
That's fine, but my face is going to do it.
Your face is going to do it.
Your face is going to do it.
We're all going to do it.
It takes someone crazy, Rizzy-ass game to even be able to get that deep
to have her wrapped around –
I want to know who did it.
It doesn't take Rizzy game.
Did you see how cute the boy was?
No, but I think that she said specifically that he was spitting.
That he was being super rizzy.
It was the game itself.
Looks only get you so far.
What if women all over the South are getting nadood?
What if that's like a thing? They don't even know he's associated
with Barstool, but the photo of him
so powerful at the end that guys are going around
nadooing women.
I wish we could see the game.
We'd have to see the game.
You know what the game. That's what we have to see the game. Yeah, we'd have to see the game.
You know what the game is. It's a fucking Rizzy-ass game.
Ndu will steal anyone's
bra. Probably slid up next to her and was like
nice rack. And then she was like
what? No, no, no. Great rack.
Great rack. Great rack. Probably great rack.
His batting average is 1,000 on
picking out great racks. And he also
said, he said, what was his tweet after?
He's like, I don't need hinge.
I'm just going to go to the bar and do my thing.
Do what I do.
He said he's going to hinge girls at the bar.
Yeah.
Time me.
No idea.
Did you see his video from this weekend?
It was at the club, but it was just up close of a shot glass,
and you could hear him having a good time.
But it was kind of a long video, but you couldn't see anything.
But I think the caption was like, there's a lot of hot ladies here,
but then you couldn't see any of them.
It was the up close.
He was being discreet.
He was being discreet, but it was very intriguing.
That's good game.
He is a guy with a lot of broads.
If you have confidence, it's a good game.
Yep.
I also think that if it happens all over the South, like you're saying, Kate,
I think that a lot of attractiveness is just
how often you see a face.
So it might wind up being something that
you reach a critical mass, and he's just
the hot guy that, yeah, the standard.
I also see
the mermaid theory. Can I see that guy
that they use pictures of? Because I think
the dude's better looking than the guy.
Why do those apps not just have
simple facial recognition so that you can't... That guy looks like a Sesame Street character. mean, he's really more masculine. Why do those apps not just have simple facial recognition
so that you can't...
That guy looks like a Sesame Street character.
No, that's a cute boy.
No, he's a hot boy.
No.
He's a cute boy.
Dew is a man.
We don't have men in America anymore.
For styles, but...
This girl's probably 19 years old.
I know you back me up, Roan.
Yes.
Dew is a man's man.
Wait, let's look at some of the...
It's like Ron Swanson versus Timothee Chalamet.
Yeah, right.
It's like you're going to be attracted to the more manly thing when you're ready for that in life.
And if you're chasing a boy, then that's fine.
Go have your boyfriend.
You know what I mean?
Go to the Little League game and pick out your favorite.
Yeah, Nadeau will be waiting for you.
He's probably working on a job site.
Yeah, a job site with his Cadillac.
His Beamer.
That guy can do like a TikTok dance.
Nadeau can install an illegal cable box.
Yes, correct.
I mean, that's more valuable.
Exactly.
It's more value.
I don't see it as anything but a dub for Nadeau.
Whoever did this, they put some effort because they were talking to her for days and days.
Yeah.
Developing rapport, flirting.
It's very weird
it's a weird thing to do
at all
I think that's as far as catfishing can go
did you do this?
I mean the fact that
I think it's good for Nidoo
he's on the rise
yeah
that's the best part about Rico
Rico always
no one does more premature victory dances than Rico.
He thinks this is the end of Nadeau.
This is Nadeau getting stronger.
Dave is going to love this.
Yes.
It's content.
Also, why would this be the end of Nadeau?
He didn't do anything.
Right.
But there's a few people in this office that don't realize that we're a content company.
So when something happens, they're like, oh, that's it.
It's like, no, it's content.
This is going to be funny.
I hopped right in those spaces.
4,000 listeners?
We were at fucking...
Again, it's not...
Wait, what?
I don't say he did...
4,000 listeners, what?
In the spaces.
What?
Oh, yeah.
It was popping off.
He was popping off.
It was awesome.
4,000. What space? I think all of us were in it. He was popping off. It was awesome.
What space?
I think all of us were in it.
He was in a Twitter space this morning.
Hearing his name?
Yes.
Oh, I didn't know this.
I was texting about it.
We're all in it. Everybody.
So weird.
And that only counts for a listener.
It was probably multiple offices all over the states with like 20 people at every one of the locations.
I spoke a couple times just clearing things up because people were like, hey, that's you.
And it's like, let's just pretend that it is him.
The guy's got game.
But it's not him.
What did he say, though?
What if it were?
We need the screenshots of the text.
He just kept on saying, like, bring in a lie detector test,
which I think is hilarious.
Or truth serum or some shit.
Yeah, bring a truth serum.
And he said this woman's not his type.
Bring a potion in.
He said this lady is not his type.
He only retweets melanin shorties.
He said that those girls weren't thinking up for him.
Who else spoke in the spaces?
I don't need to follow that account.
Who else were character witnesses?
What is the account?
Melanin Palace?
Yeah.
This was like five minutes ago.
Dude, the guy's got game.
You find his type of broads in Melanin Palace.
Not Alabama.
Not some toothy broad from Alabama.
Who are the thousands in this space?
Kate did, Big Cat.
There are some guys
giving him flack.
I did.
I was riveted.
I listened to it
the whole way in.
Kate was trying to
clear Blake's name.
Yeah, I wanted to know
more about Blake.
Unless Blake is real
and then he realized
maybe he had a girlfriend
and so he was like,
I need to end this.
Oh.
So a reverse, a reverse catfish.
It's actually him sends the picture, fake person.
But weren't all those pictures from, like, a photo shoot?
Like, that guy's definitely just, like, a model.
Oh, I think he's talking about Nadeau.
But models can have hinge.
Yeah, but he looks like one of those 2015 hot boy accounts.
Yeah.
But, like, has that picture of Nadeau ever been anywhere?
Have we seen that photo?
Yeah, he posted it on Twitter.
Yeah, on his...
It wasn't a Snapchat.
Or no, was it his Hinge profile?
You can send Snapchat from...
Yeah, it was clearly someone who did that to...
It's kind of funny.
No, do you think, like, they were definitely...
I think they were probably catfishing the whole time,
and then it got to a point where they're like,
I don't know what to do, and they're like, I guess I'll just catfishing the whole time, and then it got to a point where they're like, I don't know what to do,
and they're like, I guess I'll just send a picture. Like that they chose this.
July 8th.
If I had to guess, and again, this is probably not true, but I think it was Nadeau,
and he was so rizzy, and he's like, fuck, I got to dick down another broad?
I don't have enough dick for all these broads.
Fuck, was it him?
I mean, the theory that he was getting reps out of town is like the most.
Yes.
You don't want to shit where you.
Driving range or something?
Yeah, he's practicing.
Yeah, he's practicing.
He's getting shots up at the away gym.
Right.
And he's just trying for a home game.
He's going.
There is that theory, but I don't think it holds much water.
He's going to territories that probably aren't,
the girls aren't into to do as much.
Can we talk to him?
Shaping up his.
If it wasn't him, this guy is, what a mastermind.
Look what he created.
Yeah, let's call him.
I'm thankful.
And then we have to talk about the fact that Stephen Chay
got Tom Brady divorced.
Yeah. Stephen Chay also Tom Brady divorced. Yeah.
Stephen Chay also bought painting kits without canvas.
Wait, what?
He ran out and got them.
He sprinted out and got them.
Oh.
Stephen Chay is-
Dude, yeah.
What's trending?
I just did-
All part of the rise.
I hashtagged Stephen Chay.
Rise.
Rise.
It's that man again.
He's on the rise.
Yes.
Holy fuck.
In fact, dude, listen, I don't even want to make this at all,
but the fact that Rico thought this was going to be a win for him,
this was awesome for everyone.
I woke up, saw it, and was like, this is hilarious content.
If Nadeau plays it well, this will be great for him
because it's funny as fuck.
You may be playing this perfectly.
He is because he had just the amount of pushback.
Yeah.
Like my spaces, I think Viva La Stua posted them.
I just kept on like twisting the logic of being like,
it's not you, but if it were you, and he's like, but it's not me.
He's not denying it well enough.
He had some suspicious moments.
A, they asked him if that picture was from something he posted
or something private, and he didn't have an answer.
But he probably –
It's just a normal selfie of himself.
Okay.
I bet also in real life, though, he has sent that photo,
whether he sent it this time or not.
Yeah.
A lot of women have received that photo of him.
He's got a couple on ice waiting to be sent out.
But that's one of his that gets sent out.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
That's not that crazy.
No, no.
Everyone's got a couple on ice.
Court, your best pictures.
Hell, yes.
Damn.
And another thought to him going out of town is it's like a basketball player taking his game to Europe,
learning the European way, or then taking it to the playground
and learning a little bit more of a hard-nosed style.
It's only going to make his game better the more fields that he gets to talk to.
Right.
Which is something his ancestors probably didn't get a chance to do.
Think about this.
They'll draft a quarterback in the NFL and they'll be like,
can the guy play
in the cold can they like he's a he's a California quarterback he's got small hands can he play in
the cold can he play in the wind can he play in the rain the dude's just basically proven he can
play in the south system he can play in the north he can play in the west the east uh college uh
you know accounting firms everywhere it really does well travels. Rod's everywhere. Riseness travels.
It does.
It really does.
Well, that's why you have to sculpt it and work on your craft.
It is definitely a craft, which, I mean, we all know he works on that craft.
Constantly.
Right.
It's kind of a PSA to everyone.
Just hold your girl tight tonight.
Mine's under lock and key.
Just take her phone.
The dude might take it, and there's nothing you can do.
Matt didn't want me to come in today.
He said, don't go in.
Stay.
It's a Friday.
You don't need to go.
I wake up next to my broad every morning,
and I roll over and I text Nadu, thank you.
One day she's not there.
You could just give her up to Nadu, too. You could just kind of, you know, get the...
Sacrifice?
Yeah, kind of get the anxiety out of the way.
I'm on pins and needles.
At least Mr. Steel, you're broad.
He's not Mr. Inherit, you're broad.
Wait, wait, wait.
She posted an update?
I'm on her...
That was nine hours ago.
How do we not...
Catfish update.
I mean, I actually do feel a little bad for the girl.
Right.
I have no idea who he is.
Hey, girl.
Found your mystery boy.
Oh, wait.
They found the guy, the Blake guy in real life.
Oh.
Wait, what?
The mystery boy.
That's him.
That's him.
Ew.
I told you, this guy's not as good.
No, he's not.
No, what?
He's the last one.
That's a catfish.
That's a catfish.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Do you think it was him the whole time? This is a double reverse catfish. This might have just been him. What the fuck is this? That wasn't catfish. Oh, yeah. Do you think it was him the whole time?
This is a double reverse catfish.
This might have just been him.
What the fuck is this?
That wasn't the dude.
He might have orchestrated this entire thing.
And he was up the block.
Where was he?
He was in probably fucking...
Those pictures look more like Nadeau than that guy.
Holy shit.
You think he bailed?
He was like, I can't send a picture of what I actually look like.
Oh, he's handsome.
He's watching.
He's fine.
No, he's fine. Yeah, he's fine. He's watching. He's fine. No, he's fine.
Yeah, he's fine.
He's not in a do.
He's just a boy.
No, he's not a man.
Like, you're right.
Right.
He's a man.
Anything, though?
Damn.
Nadeau is caught in a fucking pickle.
He's kind of damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.
He didn't do it.
I'm saying, but I would want to take credit at this point.
That's what I tried to tell him.
If he did do it, he would do it exactly like this.
Yes, and that's why it's the perfect crime.
It is the perfect crime.
Whoever did this, they fucking woke up and thought like Nadeau.
They spit game like Nadeau.
They fucking centered around the areas.
You do this to the theme of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
No one fucks like Nadeau.
Nick, that bottle of Hennessy is massive.
It is.
Should we get it going?
Start pulling up.
Probably should.
Pull up, pull up.
It's big.
It's Friday.
It's fucking Friday.
Oh, he's a gay man. Jay up, poe up. It's big. It's Friday. It's fucking Friday. Oh, he's a gay man.
DJ, pull that shit up.
It's Friday.
Hennessy, hundreds, and head.
Oh, no.
I haven't seen this.
This has to be the Henny Friday song, dude.
We got to play this.
What up, boy?
Let's make this shit happen.
Hell yes.
That's all fucking Friday.
Nick, you got to be the po-boy today, too.
You got to do the pouring.
Ebony said.
That's what you got to do.
Everybody has to do it.
She says racist if you don't.
Brandon. Okay.
The way you slapped it was kind of racist.
Okay.
Brandon, just picture this as something else and then hit it.
You're not gonna slap it, Brandon?
How?
Where is Ebony?
She's mad that...
Don't drop it.
Wow, Rome.
One hand in that thing?
I'll go get some shot glasses.
Ebony was mad because she was like,
you can't have Hennessy without a black person on the show.
And I said, well, Rome's in there.
And she was like, oh, all right.
She immediately conceded.
All right.
My brother.
Troops almost ran down on me yesterday.
I thought I was about to burn through that goodwill that I had.
It's so hard to pour a bottle this big, though.
That's why I'm low-key glad that you're going to be doing the pouring today.
I don't have the bottle.
You do.
You're probably the poor boy now.
I am not the poor boy.
I can't be.
I made a sticky mess of it.
And you have to audit it and make sure that everybody's getting poured right.
I spilled the entirety of my shot on your phone last week.
I know.
Did you guys know yak is a lingo for cognac?
Yes.
I didn't know that.
You would.
I watch Friday or Barbershop one time.
You're high school friends.
I know what type of time you were on.
Uh-huh.
A little bit late.
It was the first battle of painting.
I feel like we should all do a warm-up shot.
We got to figure it out because Zah's out.
Totally.
Zah's out.
So I think that...
Oh, Zah was supposed to...
I drank so much of it last time.
I trade out.
I don't want to do it because I don't want to drink Hennessy.
I'll have to trade out.
Paint Zah from memory.
No.
Let Kyle take my spot against us.
If we don't have Zah.
Because you have to drive to the airport.
Don't drive the airport.
Take my spot so I could do that.
I got it right.
What are you saying?
I'm saying no.
Down a person.
Don't do Hennessy.
We're down a person.
Let Kyle do.
I was with Sass.
Let Kyle do with Sass.
You should be in the painting. TJ, shut the
fuck up. No. Shut the fuck up.
I'm trying to get out of drinking. Just do it.
I don't want to drink. Just do two shots. And don't drink.
I don't want to drink. Don't drink. You should be in the
painting. Roan didn't drink last week and neither did I.
I'll be honest. I'm more nervous about
the painting than the drinking. Why?
He's so good.
You know what will make you less nervous?
He's classically trained.
I gave you a good plan.
He'll catch a charge.
An easy one.
I don't think you did give me a good plan.
You didn't say shit.
Yes, I did.
What did you say?
The house with a dick coming out.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm going to be here until the 8 o'clock Phillies game.
Oh, my God.
Just off the yak.
I have an interview with a veteran at 4 o'clock. It's going to be here until the 8 o'clock Phillies game. Just off the yak. I have an interview with a veteran at 4 o'clock.
It's going to be rough.
He'll probably be drunk.
He'll be drunk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That'll stink.
Zah's out.
Zah's out, so I volunteered to be out, too.
I think I should be out instead.
Yeah, that's fair.
TJ's right.
I have to drive to the airport.
You don't have to drive?
Why did you drive?
Because I drove. Then don't drink. Then don't drink to drive? Why did you drive? Because I drove.
Then don't drink.
Then don't drink.
Then don't drink, bitch.
He's more nervous to paint.
Then drink a little to make you less nervous.
I have to go to the airport, too.
But you're Ubering.
No, I'm going in your fucking car.
You're not going to give me a ride?
Yeah, my God.
You're driving a piece of shit.
You're driving a piece of shit.
You have a massive Mercedes.
Yeah, Big Cat knows the car. My wife has a case. You have a massive Mercedes. Yeah, Big Cat knows the car.
My wife has a Mercedes.
I have a 2013 Chevy Tahoe.
I'm driving your car.
That's huge.
I want to drive your car drunk.
No, because you're going to be drunk.
It's mine.
Okay, fine.
I don't want a ride from you.
We can have a ride, but we have to take a train to Secaucus to get my car.
Where are you guys? What the fuck? No, no, just leave train to Secaucus to get my car. Where are you guys?
What the fuck?
Why would it be?
No, no, just leave it in Secaucus.
No.
It's at the park and ride.
Yeah, but it's-
You've bungled this so bad.
I have not.
I have this planned perfectly.
Here's what I'm going to do.
When I get ready to leave, instead of Uber and y'all waiting on the tunnel for an hour,
I'm going to get on a train.
I'm going to go right through the tunnel.
I'm going to go to Secaucus, get my car, and drive 20 minutes to Teterboro.
Smart.
It is smart.
I'll say it. Goddamn. That's the opposite of a bung skip my car, and drive 20 minutes to Teterboro. Smart. It is smart. I'll say it.
Goddamn.
That's the opposite of a bungle.
You put an L in Teterboro.
Where are you guys going?
Penn State tomorrow and then Michigan tomorrow.
You're going tonight?
Going to Penn State tonight.
Nice.
Where are you guys eating tonight?
Where are you guys watching the game?
We don't know.
Oh.
In Rome, got some spas we can recommend.
Yeah, we could.
The Apple Room?
Yeah.
Fuck, we had some times there.
Billy Slices
Kyle and I have a football show
Coming out this weekend
With PFT Commenter
Oh what's it called?
The fuck?
It's called Planet Football
Hell yeah
What is the
Where's it shot?
Or what's the premise of the show?
I don't
Are we allowed to say?
Why is it debuting in week nine?
That's when we decided the idea
We were sent to Planet Football to get the best picks.
Was it hard to do?
To go to the planet?
Yeah.
Damn.
We crashed.
Are you serious?
Yeah, stranded there.
Have any of you guys seen the new Toy Story movie,
the Buzz Lightyear movie,
where they crash and they get stranded?
That's the premise.
They crash and get stranded somewhere.
Are you guys playing at football?
You guys stole the plot of Toy Story?
Yeah, I guess one for one.
What the fuck, dude?
Toy Story just did this.
We're going to get that.
What percentage of space movies is that the plot of?
Every one.
Every single one of them.
You can't really make that kind of a space movie without a crash. Every single one of them. Yeah. Well, there's not really, you can't really make
that kind of a space movie
without a crash.
Brandon, you're the poor guy.
I'm the poor guy?
If you're not drinking,
you're the poor guy.
I'm the poor guy
if I'm not drinking.
And you'll spill it
all over your pants,
like get pulled over
and stink like Hennessy.
I'll swear on everything.
All right, so who's
drawing first?
Should we have a drawing to see who's going to be the first drawing?
I don't want to let Steven off the hook.
Oh, yeah.
You got Tom Brady and Giselle divorced.
Yeah, you also.
This seems to have been in the works for.
No.
How long have you been working on this?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I went to the game last night.
It was.
This is the...
You had two videos that were just so...
I have more videos that I have not yet released.
I mean, the other one...
All right, we'll see them all.
They've lost because you let the...
Yeah, they're booing.
I want to see the other videos.
I mean, that's sick.
I haven't put them out yet.
That's awesome.
Well, he let the flag touch the ground, though.
Did you guys see his last tweet at midnight?
That one, I was waiting for the ending.
What was it? I didn't see it.
All right, pull it up.
It's insane.
Which one? The one I'm on the field in?
Yes.
Absolutely insane thing to write.
Thank you.
What did I write?
Thank you.
Pull it up.
Did you see it?
I tweeted it.
No.
It's him on the field at the end of the game after a loss.
Thank you, Brandon.
Yeah.
Wait, no, not that one.
Not this one.
But, not Asian at all.
See, this is actually, wait, pause this.
All right, pause this.
This is actually so funny.
Pause it.
Read it.
So, Stephen still doesn't get how ridiculous this tweet was
because he thought we were talking about a different tweet.
Oh.
Just now.
Like, just now he still doesn't realize.
This tweet, this didn't have an ending.
This didn't have an ending.
So, he said, this is very cool for me personally,
but I'm also very sad.
Pause it again.
Sass, what do you think is going to happen?
The game's over.
The players are walking off the field.
Steve's right there.
Something cool for him personally.
This is very cool for me personally.
I would assume, like, obviously the easiest assumption would be that he says hi to them,
but I'm assuming that doesn't happen.
Okay, so play it.
It's cool for him.
Look at this. Look how cool this is.
Okay.
Here comes Brady. This is very cool.
This is very cool.
And that was the cool part.
Yeah, it was close as shit.
I watched the final five minutes.
That's kind of cool.
I mean, it's cool, but the whole video I was waiting for someone to say hello to him.
I was assuming a dap.
I mean, it was assumed a dap.
It was not a dap, anything.
If this was a win and we were in good spirits, absolutely.
You think Tom Brady would have dapped you up?
Not Tom Brady.
He might have. That ain't a shot. You were in good spirits, absolutely. You think Tom Brady would adapt you up? Not Tom Brady. He might have.
There are a couple guys.
That ain't a shot.
You were close enough to tap.
Oh, you gave me so much.
It's not a shot.
My mouth's already watering.
Everybody has a double shot.
I'm sipping.
I'm not.
Can we just sip instead of do shots?
Yeah, let's sip.
How about you ask me?
Can we sip instead of doing shots, Nick?
Can I sip instead of doing shots?
Well, you're all dressed up.
You must have somewhere to go afterwards.
Thanks, bro.
Fuck.
Brandon, I want some of that Pepsi.
I think you might have been closer there, Steve.
And he's looking right at you.
That's cooler for you personally.
Chaser was a good idea.
Do you have some of that Pepsi?
I had a ton of it.
I was in the locker room after.
What?
Yeah.
Do you mean you barely hit the bottom?
Yeah.
That's three shots.
Wait, did you see him?
Making a Pepsi? Sitting? Yes. That's three shots. Wait, did you see him? Yeah, I was.
Yes.
Yeah, I, yes.
Release it.
Release it.
We will all retweet it right now.
No, I actually broke a rule that, and I cleared this with their PR team,
like you're not allowed to take still pictures in there.
But he was at his locker for 30-plus minutes in uniform.
Is there any more?
Donnie, you think that I actually care about trivia?
I'm just trying to build up the hype.
Okay, all right.
I figured that's what you were doing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What happened?
I've seen you, like, two times.
Yeah.
He said that since he's been back, we've only spoken, like, three times.
I think we've seen each other maybe four times.
Yes.
I think that's just a matter of
us just not really crossing paths.
He was like, I think Big Cat's holding a grudge.
And I was like...
I'm not the one
who sabotaged his trivia team.
I just happen to be on the team
that was involved.
Yeah, but going
into the tournament,
we gotta stay competitive. Thank you for the yak, we've got to stay competitive.
Thank you for the Yak.
I'm on my way out.
I'm judging a Rangoon competition in Hartford, Connecticut tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Any Hartford Yak fans?
If you have a coin, one night only, one night only, Donnie will give a kiss.
Yes.
He will be the Owen kiss.
You did that to yourself.
Okay.
Well, yes.
Yak fans, come through. Proceeds proceeds go to charity where is it in Hartford
it's at a place called Gastropark
in Hartford there's going to be like five different
food trucks each making a different type
of Rangoon and I just
have to judge them
not a bad gig although I guess Hartford
is not really
on my bucket list of places I need to go to.
You never know.
Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Donnie, do you know if raviolis and pastas like that came from the Silk Road or Marco Polo or anything like that,
or was it just noodles?
Oh, like who invented the pasta?
Like the goon flipping it over, like a ravioli, a stuffed pasta.
Was it is it an Eastern or Western invention?
I mean, I think almost every culture in the world has some sort of dumpling.
You've got pierogies, samosas, momos that they eat in Nepal.
So I don't know. But I mean, China is like one of the oldest civilizations.
So maybe it all moved from the east to the west.
Interesting.
I drank Hennessy at my senior prom.
I brought it in a plastic Nalgene.
Oh, yeah.
Is that the last time you've had it?
Oh, it really is.
There's no way of hiding it if you're at prom.
No.
You're going to stink like Hennessy.
I've never had it.
I didn't know it was going to be so stanky.
Oh, yeah.
Then you get it on your hands, and your hands smell so good.
Hey, Donnie, how many Rangoons do you think you're going to have to eat tonight?
Probably just like 10 of each.
Jesus.
50 Rangoons, Donnie.
50 Rangoons?
Yeah.
I'll take that down.
No problem.
It's a ride or die Rangoon guy, because the way you said that.
10 of each.
50, yeah.
You got to know what they're like.
I think if we had an eating contest, Donnie would be up there and being able to put down volume of food.
Donnie's more for the experience and the taste.
I don't think he's like a-
Volume eater?
Volume eater.
Yeah, I mean-
He's a top.
I think if anyone ate 50 Rangoons, you're going to have a bad day.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would say 12 is a fun amount of Rangoons to eat.
Yeah.
Wow, still.
Yeah.
Well, thanks for the yak, guys.
Cheers, Donnie.
What are you looking for in the Goons?
If they're watching this, prepping their Rangoons,
what are you looking for in a winning Rangoon?
So, obviously, if it's a soggy Rangoon, you're disqualified.
But it's like, how can it even be a Rangoon if it's soggy?
So I'm not worried about that.
The filling is really the most important.
As long as you've got a crispy wonton and a flavorful filling, it will be good.
I don't know why New York can't figure it out.
For some reason, their filling down here just tastes completely different
as the Rangoon's up in the air.
The Boston filling.
The Boston filling?
Maybe the goons in Philly are good.
I just know in New York they're not good.
I got a place in Brooklyn that I'll tell you about.
Okay.
It has good filling.
Brooklyn maybe.
Yeah.
The Midwest has good goons because I think they've got solid cows,
so good cream cheese.
Yeah.
Philly cream cheese comes from Philly.
Philly might have some fire goons.
Yeah.
If they're using Philly cream cheese, that might elevate the goon.
I only use Philly cream cheese
in my goons.
I love it.
Where's it? Hartford?
Crab Rangoon Fest?
Gastropark.
If you have a coin, Donnie will kiss you
one night, one night only.
With tongue.
We can baby bird a rangoon. That's awesome. Thank tongue. Yeah. Yeah. We can baby bird a Rangoon.
That's all. Oh, yes.
All right.
Thank you, guys.
Yep.
Thank you, guys.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Are we doing the shot?
Well, I'm sipping.
Yeah, I'm sipping, too.
I don't have a shot in me right now.
I feel like we need to start off with a shot to get the ball rolling.
I poured Pepsi in this, but I'll take it.
This is a double.
What are you drinking?
All right, I'll finish mine.
Same thing, but just to cover my ass, zero block 30 sponsored by whistle oh nice uh so i
blacked out the w so it's hissel pig starts with an h so it's fine and then in our zero blog 30
drinking glasses that's a bullet my friend wow look at that real bullet that it might be yeah
it's a live round so it's a live round.
Actually, we shot each one into each glass.
How's the pirate dog on it?
How far away did you have to stand for it to not quite break the glass?
Pretty far, yeah.
Pretty far.
But just indented.
Roan, you wanted wine, right?
No, I wanted Henny.
Should I do the shot?
Cognac is wine.
Ooh! Is it? Iognac is wine. Ooh.
Is it?
I believe so.
I was ready for your snark.
I want a Henny.
Be more Pepsi.
And facts and figures.
That's all we had.
Why, yes, I only drink wine.
Maybe a cream soda.
You want a cream soda?
Cream soda with a...
We got a couple of vanilla Coke.
I'm going to just run down.
Vanilla Coke.
Oh, no, let's ask her to the store. Let got a couple of vanilla Coke. I'm going to just run down. Vanilla Coke. Oh, no.
Don't let Sass go to the store.
Let's ask her to the store.
Get some Lay's Originals.
Give me one snack.
Why don't I get some Lay's Originals?
Get a snack.
No, your best snack.
This is real redemption.
It better be those fucking flavorful Frito Twists.
Those are good.
All right, Sass.
Vanilla Coke if they have it.
Cherry Coke?
Where am I going?
The Boudin?
Yeah, I would say. Manor has not a good selection. right, Sass. Vanilla Coke if they have it. Cherry Coke? Where am I going? The Bodega? Yeah, I would say.
Oh, uh.
Wayne Reed has not a good selection.
Yes, it does.
Dude, you're wrong.
Oh, the deli right there.
I swear to God, you walk in that, Wayne Reed, you only walk in the first ten feet of the
stuff.
All the way to the back wall.
Oh, I know where.
I know where.
No, you don't.
Go both aisles.
All the aisles.
I've done it.
You have not walked in that.
The Bodega's going to have better drink selection.
I agree with him.
I know.
Actually, go to Dwayne Reed and see if you can get me some Apple headphones and a vanilla Coke.
I told him he'll be able to find wired headphones that have the built-in.
Oh, you can get those at the bodega right there.
The bodega.
The bodega.
Kyle's anti-domo.
Get me some.
So drinks, I'm just going to get a selection of sodas.
Six milligrams in, light blue.
I don't know if $100 is going to be enough for all of us.
Yes, it will.
$100?
Headphones, Zins.
Okay, here you go.
You're not going to have the headphones.
I don't want any change.
All right.
You have to spend exactly $100.
I'm not going to spend.
Yes.
No, that's...
Yes.
And you bring change.
No change.
No, no, no.
I want you to spend exactly $100.
The tuna salad panini.
Yeah.
This is...
I want you to spend exactly $100. Okay tuna salad panini. Yeah. This is... I want you to spend exactly $100.
Okay. I'll try. It's going to be hard.
You might have to get us a jersey. You can get as many
6mg zins as you want. Vanilla Coke
or cream soda. Yeah.
Cherry Coke.
Diet? No! Cherry Coke, maybe
a snack, a pretzel, or a
chip.
A squirt.
A squirt. TJzel, or a chip. A snack for everybody. A chip. A squirt.
A squirt.
TJ asked for a squirt.
A squirt.
And you know how they have that center tray where they have the halal meat and the jerk chicken?
Maybe a jerk chicken breast.
He's going to screw this up so bad.
No, he's got it.
He didn't take in any of what we said.
He also, like, that would have been a fun challenge.
Spend exactly, yeah.
Exactly $100.
I don't want to do it.
He's just going home with that $100.
Yeah.
That double shot already has me feeling toasty.
I'm about to do mine right now.
You feel it in your toesies?
Yo, dude.
I already feel like, you know, sometimes you're not drunk, but that first shot makes you,
like, throw up on your shoes?
Yep.
That's what I feel like right now.
I'm afraid that's going to happen to me.
Let's watch Kate take the shot.
My mouth's like.
I'm off the yuck.
Oh, God. Kate, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Hey. Oh, yo. My mouth's like I'm off the yuck Oh god
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Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Like, Eve's watching at home just like, yes. Fuck yes. Dude's watching at home.
Light blue.
Light blue. It's not for everybody.
Six milligram.
No, that's three milligram shit.
They have the salmon in the middle with the lemon.
Can you drizzle a little extra lemon?
Brandon, I wish you were doing a shot with this.
I would just love to see you a little bit yakked up.
Kyle, have you done a shot yet?
No, I'm just sipping this mixie.
I just chugged the Mixie.
It's way easier to chug.
I'm finishing my...
Brandon poured me a quadruple shot.
Oh, boy.
The drunkest I've ever been was a night of Hennessy.
Ha!
With my...
Me and my black friends went to a strip club.
Whoa.
Here's my boss at Radio Shack.
That's not...
That's like George Costanza.
She's taking you out because you sold eight different Zip Zaps.
That's not what a friend is.
And we went out with.
It was when Hypnotic and Hennessy were the thing.
Incredible Hulk.
Incredible Hulk.
And there was green throw up on the side of my Ford Explorer for weeks.
Ew.
Clean it off.
It was still there.
It was still.
You can still see the streak.
Hypnotic and Henness see the string Mixed together?
We should get hypnotic
I've never had it
I don't even know what it tastes like
But I know it's like the thing
It tastes blue
So the same firefighter
Who had a crazy time
He came through here
He came through
To the office one time
and posted up at the bar and drank a bottle of hypnotic at the bar.
Oh, shit.
He was with the dude – the other firefighter.
That was like two days before the dude Timothy Klein passed away.
That was them who came through here.
I mean, these are heroes that Francis made fun of.
You kind of helped him make fun of him.
Oh, of course.
But he was off to hit.
We just randomly had hypnotic in the office, dude.
We just had fucking bottle.
We had a full bottle of hypnotic.
The bar collection back there is absurd.
What we have at our bar.
There's no normal liquors.
It's all like the most random shit.
Besides our own stuff, which is wonderful.
Whistlepick whiskey.
Yes, which is lovely. Whistlepick whiskey. Yes, which is lovely.
I'm pretty mad about what Seth's going to bring back.
Give the boy a chance.
I know. I want to, but he's not going to
have any snacks. I have a feeling
I'm going to get no
vanilla Coke or cream soda.
No squirt. There's going to be
one can of Pepsi. He's going to get a lot of
Zin. I think he's going to get Pringles
for some reason. I think you're going to get mad because he's going to get a lot of Zen. I think he's going to get Pringles for some reason.
I think you're going to get mad because he's going to be gone for at least 45 minutes to an hour.
Pizza Pringles?
Ew.
Pizza Pringles.
Pizza Pringles?
That bodega does not have a great snack selection.
It's more of like a sandwich-y bodega or salmon.
The one across the street?
It's like number one health choice deli. The younger dude's funny.
He busts balls.
He asks me if I want ketchup and salt and pepper
with whatever I get.
Like a drink.
He's hilarious.
I did a booze and burgers with Glennie there.
Really?
It was delicious.
Oh my goodness.
He's painting the drink.
Oh yes!
I'll buy it.
Any price. Holy it. Any price.
Hell yes.
Holy shit.
Any price.
The best.
I love chilling with Chells.
I wish I had her on.
She nailed the Frank the Tank one.
Frank the Tank one is beautiful.
It's stunning.
It looks like heaven.
Look at that.
Protesters are going to glue them.
Dude, did you see that they're like doing it to way more shit now? Yeah. Museums are just not going to glue them. Dude, did you see that they're doing it to way more shit now?
Museums are just not
going to be a thing.
It's a Rolex store today.
A Rolex store?
Wait, wait, wait.
Fish, fish.
Alright, get in.
Come on in, fish.
It's Fancy Fridays for fish.
Dress up Fridays for fish.
Get a song.
Looking fancy.
Get a song going.
Let's get it started.
Sammy Davis Jr.
Let's get this shit started.
Does he need a cup?
This is Hennessy Fish.
What?
It's Fish.
How you doing, guys?
You look good.
He does Dress Up Fridays.
Dress Up Fridays.
You look good, Nick.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, Dress Up Fridays.
He used to manage the group that did this song, Let's Get This Shit Started.
He introduced it to us, and he dresses up whenever we have Hennessy around.
Right now he's got a blue
fake leather jacket.
I didn't think that was leather.
Let's Get This Shit Started. I work with chicklets.
I'm a singer.
I meet you a little bit ago?
Briefly, yeah.
Okay, good to meet you again.
I'm bad.
Our circles haven't crossed yet. Yeah, not yet. Fish and cat. Yeah nice to see you. That's okay. Our circles haven't crossed yet.
Yeah, not yet.
Fish and cat.
All right, yeah, there we go.
Let's go.
You look fucking good, dude.
Oh, shit.
Cats always eat fish.
That's true.
Should we give him some Hennessy?
Do you want some?
Yeah, we should.
Love Hennessy.
Yes.
Well, then, I mean, by all means, we're being rude.
I haven't used my cup yet.
So you dress like this every Friday, Fish?
No, last Friday, he said he was doing dress-up Friday,
and he came in in the least dressed-up dress-up.
That's why I dressed up.
I heard about it.
Yeah, dress-up Fridays, because you elevated and he elevated.
You look good.
You got to get a head of the show in here, too.
You look like one of the cops in American Gangster.
Yeah, I was kind of going for like a Starsky and Hutch kind of vibe.
You nailed it.
Brandon blocked it with his large frame, but he just shot the whole thing.
I guess we're going to have to do it again.
Fish did like eight shots last week.
Kind of like a mic drop moment.
I like you, Fish.
Fish kept getting back in line.
I like you. He's a delightful getting back in line. I like you.
He's a delightful person.
Yeah, your vibes
are very good.
He's a good vibes guy.
Might be the Hennessy talk.
Yeah, no.
Yeah.
I got one shot
of Hennessy.
She's the fucking one.
I actually like all of you.
You guys are awesome.
I love you guys.
You guys are great.
I love you, man.
Who the fuck
do you think you are, bro?
Can I have a little more?
It's good.
It's a truly warm alcohol.
It warms the belly.
It warms the belly.
You have to get Ebony in here.
Yep.
Fish, was it you that had the cream soda back at your desk?
Or you know where to get it?
Oh, okay.
I love cream soda.
I'm from Canada.
I'm Canadian.
Oh, that's why I like you.
You're non-threatening.
Every way. Yeah, I'm like 5'6", too. Right. I're non-threatening in every way.
Yeah, I'm like 5'6", too.
Right.
I'm like 5'7".
Yeah, yeah.
5'8 on Tinder.
There we go.
Hell yeah.
And Nadeau.
Yeah.
What was I talking about?
Jesus.
Cream Soda.
Yeah, I know.
Cream Soda.
I love Cream Soda.
Lost his train of thought.
He needs a song to...
Yeah, in Canada, the cream soda is just awesome,
and you cannot find it anywhere here.
Can you try to find it and maybe come back with it?
Starbucks will make you cream soda
with their carbonated water and their French vanilla flavoring.
Okay, there's a Starbucks close.
Is that a Whirl, maybe?
Cream soda.
Are you going to send them out for custom?
I kind of want them to get me some.
Have you ever tried cream soda and cognac?
No.
No, I'm just guessing
it would be good.
It is good.
It's fantastic.
Oh, I hope we try it today.
Yeah, well,
Sass should be coming back.
I'm sure he'll nail it.
Is he going to get
cream soda right now?
Yeah, I know.
I kind of want you two
as well just to,
you know,
be sure that I get some.
Kyle, you've been jonesing.
Cream soda on chip dice.
With a glass full of chip dice with cream soda when you're hungover?
Nothing like it.
What's chip what?
Chip dice.
Chip dice.
You know when the ice is like almost slushy?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I thought you said chip dice.
Chip dice.
Oh, no, no.
Where'd you get the jacket from?
Cognac, chip dice.
Yeah, this entire outfit I thrifted, actually.
Oh, shit.
No kidding.
Yeah, I just...
I never thought that would...
I'm your dead grandfather?
He's got the rings going, too.
He's got the...
What is that, jade?
Yeah.
It's glass, I think.
You think that you could do a kickflip on an electric skateboard?
I have my skateboard here.
Who's your voice doppelganger?
Close your eyes.
Talk, talk, talk, talk.
Fish talks him.
It's someone famous.
My favorite breakfast sandwich is eggs, bacon, hot sauce,
a little bit of lettuce, mushed tuna.
Nice tuna roll.
I feel like it's Judd Apatow.
Is it Josh Gad or some shit?
Those Judd Apatow. Is it Josh Gad or some shit? It's a Judd Apatow character.
It ain't Gad.
All right, but I would watch you do a kickflip in that outfit.
These are Pradas.
We're just a prop.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I got them for pretty cheap.
Let's not do a kickflip then.
Just do a tray.
I skated here in this outfit going down the street,
so I'll get off at like 34th at Penn State.
What is his voice?
And skate down. Yes! Oh, my God, it is the face! outfit going down the street. I'll get off at 34th at Penn State. What is his voice?
Skate down.
Yes!
Oh my god, it is Topher Grace!
Holy fuck, thank you!
What a pull.
Thank you, Brandon.
It was driving me nuts.
Everyone close your eyes.
Not in that 70s show, but in Win a Date with Ted Hamilton.
Yes!
You are Topher Grace.
Tad Hamilton. He's had that movie too where he's got cancer.
Tad Hamilton is the better guy.
He's Topher Grace.
What a crazy combination by the two of you.
That was impressive.
Wow.
That was incredibly impressive.
Fish, say something.
That might be Brandon's most impressive moment.
What's a good line?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's a good line from Topher Grace?
Fucking Topher Grace.
Exactly Topher Grace.
Holy shit.
Brandon, I've never been so impressed with you.
That is so awesome.
Thank you so much, because it was driving me insane.
I was like, I recognize his voice from something.
You had it right away.
It's 100% Topher.
That's full Topher right there.
The chat was on it, too.
The chat had Topher Grace, too?
He's giving Eric Foreman vibes.
Maybe that's the close. I don't think it's Eric Foreman. Again, I think it had Topher Grace, too? He's giving Eric Foreman vibes. Maybe that's the close.
I don't think it's Eric Foreman.
Again, I think it's Topher Grace in movies.
You're more of a Topher in movies guy.
I like his brief stint in Ocean's Eleven.
Do you have a line?
I like you fish a lot.
I like you a lot, fish.
I do an audition.
You might become best friends.
What are you doing later?
Later today?
I'm on the flight.
I'm going to go skateboard later.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Okay.
State College, Pennsylvania?
Are you asking if I'd like to?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't have room on the plane.
We'll throw Casey off.
Okay.
Freeze up two seats.
Two seats.
Okay.
Before you leave, do a skateboarding trick.
Do you see any of the bad headphones?
No.
You're a rascal today.
Dude, I am a little bit on my rascal shit.
I think you're drunk.
No, you know what the problem is?
I've had one of those mornings where everything was off by like 20 minutes.
Yeah.
So I'm just, I haven't settled.
A little bit of jet lag.
Yeah.
I got up and had to build that skeleton with fights and Donnie.
How many subscribers did you get?
They had 2,000 concurrence, about 3,500 at its peak.
Those were probably all just subscribers.
I think he has to keep it up for over a year.
It's huge. That looks awesome.
Oh, look, Topher's about to do this.
Way more than 12 feet.
I have some lines if he wants to say anything.
Dude, I want you to just sit here and talk because you are Topher Grace.
All right.
Here we go.
Let's make this shit happen.
Yeah, let's make this shit happen.
I'm going to try to do a kickflip.
Obligatory mom saying don't hurt yourself.
Topher Grace.
In vintage Pradas.
Wait.
Wait.
I want to get a video of this fish.
It's fucking cool. Song is playing. All right. Wait. Wait. I want to get a video of this fish.
It's fucking cool.
All right, here we go.
Let's make this shit happen.
Oh!
All right.
Hold on.
Go catch it. Go catch it.
I'm deleting that one.
Yeah.
Bolt.
Fuck yes.
Fish, how long have you been working for us?
Like six months.
Shit, man.
I really missed out on this one.
I'm just saying, too, we ended up getting a chance to catch up like a couple weeks ago,
and I walked away being like, what a guy.
What a great guy.
Truly.
Thank you.
So you work...
Oh my God.
Every time he talks,
it's like,
even the thank you there.
So are you...
You work...
What do you do for
Spittin' Chicklets?
I'm there.
I edit the full podcast.
I do clips,
YouTube clips.
Do you ever go on the podcast?
No.
No, I'm just editing,
and I shoot when we go
on trips and stuff.
Got it.
Who's the one that is mean to you?
I'll figure, I'll...
I'll straighten it out for you.
I'll straighten it out for you.
Who busts your balls?
No one really busts my balls.
I don't know.
Most of my time I'm at my desk just working.
Do they know, do all of them know who you are?
Everyone at Chick-fil-A?
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the best voice double of all time.
Yeah, it is identical.
I only know Foreman.
I don't know his movies.
Spider-Man 3?
Yeah.
Black Klansman?
Oh.
He was David Duke.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah.
What else is... That's not what I remember. Ah, yeah. Yeah. What else is there?
That's not what I remember you from, Fish.
So who's the meanest to you from Spittin' Chickas?
They're all pretty nice.
I don't know.
No one's really mean.
I don't know.
Great answer.
Yeah, they're solid.
Ever go up to Bolton, north of Toronto?
Oh, like the team that crashed that one?
No.
A tumble.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
A tumble.
Fish.
What a turn for Fish.
We're doing great, bro.
Damn, dude.
He's actually a bad vibes guy.
Why would Roan ask you that?
All right, well, Fish, let's do this.
When we start painting, you come back in.
You can sit in someone's chair who's painting just so that everyone can keep hearing your voice.
Okay, cool.
All right, you sit right over there?
Yeah, just sit right there.
I'll yell for you when we start painting.
Perfect, okay, thank you.
You got to drink more Hennessy.
Absolutely.
Last time he got in line eight times for the Hennessy.
He was like scamming the welfare system.
He kept on going back.
Throw your cup away again?
All right, come here.
All right, that's perfect because I could listen to his voice forever.
And just pretend?
Yeah.
Just make believe?
We're ripping through this Hennessy bottle.
Pour me up some more, Brandon.
I know.
I'm about to.
I'll take them when I come back so I can at least like coherent.
It's driving me. It's like it's crazy it is one for one it's insane i think if i do this
like i think i'll be like a little rippy dippy i think i already feel i'm like if you're saying
a little rippy you might be there already i feel just where's sass i feel very friendly he's gone
it is a warming alcohol. It is very warm.
I feel toasty right now.
Who's that?
I ain't sass.
Oh, he's got the cream soda.
Extremely warming.
Wait, go to that.
We have a front door camera?
Who is that?
Oh, he worked for the building, but he's a legend.
Oh, there he is.
Oh, perfect timing.
You went to Whole Foods? What? No. Fancy? No. He had a legend. Oh, yeah. Oh, there he is. Oh, perfect timing. You went to Whole Foods?
What?
No.
Fancy?
No.
He had to have.
Look at the bags.
Wait, where's that camera?
That's fucking dope.
Sass?
Okay, Sass.
Where'd you go?
$1.99.
Oh, yeah, Sass.
Oh, yeah, Sass.
Way to go.
$1 left.
The only problem is I think I might have gotten you the wrong zins.
Yes, for the two.
You asked for light blue?
Yeah.
Light blue sixes.
I don't know if this is the right light blue.
Oh.
There was many shades of blue.
There we go.
Light blue.
This was the only blue that had six.
There we go.
Was there shades of light blue?
Menthol?
No.
Menthol? How. Menthol?
How many did you get?
Three.
Oh.
Looks like you do menthol now.
Menthol might go better with the Hennessy.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Give me the menthol.
Give it to me.
Same shit.
It was either that or it was dark blue.
Yeah, no, that's not.
All right, give me one and give Kyle two of them.
I don't know.
I'm off the sixes.
What do you mean? I'm quitting. All right, give don't know. I'm off the sixes.
What do you mean?
I'm quitting.
All right, give it to Fish. I'll have a treat for you.
Fish, move to your right with the mic.
Don't tell me it's cream soda.
I want my cream soda.
Fish, by the way, were you here last Friday, Seth?
I have a mic with you.
Oh, my God.
I told you.
Dwayne Reed.
Why would you do that?
I told you.
What?
What?
They actually have a whole thing called Apple Accessories.
This, by the way, is not blue whatsoever.
No, it's not.
You said you didn't want three.
Seafoam green.
All right, and then I have a huge L for you.
Why?
Kyle said it's impossible to find those anywhere.
I think Rudy said you can get them at any Dwayne Reed,
and Kyle said no, go fucking try. What else you got? Let's see it. By the way I think Rudy said you can get them at any Dwayne Reed. And Kyle said, no, go fucking try.
What else you got?
Let's see it.
By the way, Fish, do you know Fish?
Yeah.
Yeah, we've met.
Did you know that he was Topher Grace's voice double?
I don't know.
Who's that?
Topher Grace.
Topher Grace?
Topher Grace?
Topher Christopher.
What?
What a fun way to be short for Christopher.
Eric Foreman in that 70s show.
That 70s show.
You ever saw Black Klansman?
No, I did.
Okay.
David Duke.
Oh, really?
All right, forget it.
Oh, now I've got a Halloween costume.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I don't think you have to dress up.
You're doing it right now.
Who are you for Halloween?
I'm for Grace as David Duke.
Oh, thank you, Sass.
I thought maybe you wouldn't appreciate it.
He looks familiar.
I'm right here.
Same voice.
Bless me, KB.
What else we got, Sass?
I just got a bunch of different sodas.
Yeah, grab me a soda.
I didn't have any squirt, but I got you a Sprite.
I don't know if that's the same.
That's the same.
Sass, you did a really good job, man.
Yeah. And then I just got a bunch of... Ooh, menthol. Tell us what you think I'd like. Squirt was a I got you a Sprite. I don't know if that's the same. That's the same. Fass, you did a really good job, man. Yeah.
And then I just got a bunch of...
Ooh, Menthol.
Tell us what you think I'd like.
Squirt was a crazy ask anyway.
Well, what about the salmon with the lemon?
And there's a cherry vanilla.
What about the snacks?
Hit me with that.
A lot of sodas.
Can I have some of that, Nick?
This and the Zins was $50.
What about the snacks?
The snacks?
I just got a random...
Here, someone take it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pass them down.
We'll pass them down.
Job, Sass. Eight wants cherry vanilla. We gotta start it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll pass them down. Job, Sass.
Eight wants cherry vanilla.
We got to start painting.
Yeah, we do.
Holy shit, it's 2 o'clock already.
It is?
Yeah.
Any Fridays could really.
I'm leaving at 3.30.
No, you're not.
Yeah, me and Casey are leaving at 3.30.
We have something to do at 3.30.
What are you guys doing?
I'm taking her to eat for her birthday.
Where are you guys eating? I'm taking her to eat for her birthday. Where are you guys eating?
It sounds stupid now.
Sonic.
I'll say it out loud.
We're going to Sonic?
Yes, we're going to Sonic.
How'd you know that?
TJ just said, no, you don't have your headphones on.
TJ said Sonic.
Fuck.
The one outside Secaucus?
Yes.
I know that one very well.
Lurked in that lot many times.
So I'm not invited?
You're not going to leave. Yes, you're invited. You're absolutely invited. Are we so I'm not invited? you're not gonna leave
yes you're invited
you're absolutely invited
are we all invited?
no cause you're not
going to Pennsylvania
no he can go
he can go to
the Sonic and Seconcus
and come back
I just wanna go to Sonic
Sonic's in
you have yourself a spread
great chip dice
at that Sonic
oh no that's
for TJ
oh shit yeah that's TJ's
TJ come in here
what about the snacks Tess
also there's enough soda
I mean we're not
everyone needs a bowl of soda.
You're the only one
not drinking.
Snacks.
I got 3D Crunch
nacho cheese.
For me.
Scorchin' BB.
Oh, almost.
Almost.
Almost.
You said you were
going to get pizza pringles.
I got the twisted
Oh, my God.
Sass.
I might have gotten
two twisted pringles.
Sass, you did it.
Oh, my.
He crushed.
And then I got
more Doritos. Oh, the purple. Purple bag's the best. Sash, you did it. Oh, my. He crushed. And then I got more to read.
Oh, the purple bag's the best.
And I got some club crackers.
Yeah, you did.
KB.
For KB to make some.
Those were Ritz style.
We need another bottle of Henny.
No.
Sash, you fucking did this, dude.
Speaking of crushing, look at my shirt.
I'm wearing Roback's quarter zip.
It looks good.
Yes, Kyle?
Yes, thank you very much.
Roback's performance polos are the only pol Yes, Kyle? Yes, thank you very much.
Roback's performance polos are the only polos we wear.
The fit is perfect.
The collars never lose their shape.
They're perfect for a night out or a day on the links.
They also got into shorts with their performance shorts, which are awesome.
They have their joggers, their hoodies, their Q-zips.
They got all of it.
So use the code YAK on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week.
That's R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
20% off all polos, quarter zips, and hoodies with code YAK.
Make sure to jump on Roback's new print polos to have you looking fresh and feeling good.
Speaking of prints.
What are you doing?
Big Cat, the only time that we've actually talked, I remember the first time that we talked.
I was sitting at my desk.
You walked over and you were wearing a shirt with an Italian flag Printed on it
Yeah
And I said
I said something like
Oh nice shirt
And you said
Yeah my son is
A quarter Italian
Yeah
And
If I could say WAP
You know
Yeah
Yeah yeah
He's fucking Italian
He's greasy fucking Italians
You can say it
I'm allowed to say
You can say that
Only hatefully
Only hatefully
Only hatefully And then Infully. Only hatefully.
And then I said, oh, I have a son too.
And you said, is he Italian?
And I went, no.
And then you walked away.
Yeah, well, you.
Well, what?
It was we were talking about how we could say slurs towards Italians.
And then you were like, well, I have a son.
Yeah, I was more just trying to make conversation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I met you before.
How old's your son?
He's six.
When did you have him?
When you were 12?
You have one kid or two?
Just one, yeah.
Just one.
Yeah, he was born in my senior year of high school.
I was 18.
Hell yeah.
Oh, so you were kind of right.
Yeah, I was on it.
Where does he live?
He lives in Toronto with his mom and her parents.
Love it.
I go back and forth.
They never go to Bolton.
No, they don't go to Bolton.
But not Italian.
Not Italian.
Sorry, I can't help you.
I hate the kid.
No, I'm just kidding.
That's awesome.
So wait, Fish, you have a cool voice.
You dressed cool when you were fucking in high school?
Yeah.
Fucking so hard in high school.
He made the heart of you. Yes. When did you conceive? Junior year? cool voice you dressed cool when you were fucking in high school? Yeah. Fucking so hard in high school he made.
Yeah, the heart of him, yes.
When did you conceive, junior year?
Summer going into senior?
Yeah, going into senior year, yeah.
Have rules, dude.
Conceived is a hilarious way to put it.
Congrats.
Was it a congrats thing?
Yeah, yeah.
We're good now.
It's been six years. Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine.
He's probably chill. Oh, he's great. No, he's awesome. He's probably got great vibes? Yeah, yeah. We're good now. It's been six years. Yeah, no, it's fine. He's probably chill.
Oh, he's great.
No, he's awesome.
He's probably got great vibes.
Yeah, he's great.
He's awesome.
He's Canadian.
He's probably chill as hell.
And he's Fish's son.
And he's probably about to be in kindergarten with Drake's son.
He is in first grade.
Yeah.
Wow.
Damn.
What a G.
Interesting.
Unbelievable.
You want to sit, Fish?
Yeah.
Are you guys painting?
Are you guys painting? We're going to paint, but we have a stool, too.
Let's start painting.
Let's start painting.
Yeah, we should probably start painting.
Who's going first?
I thought we were waiting for something.
Should we spin the wheel?
Let's spin the wheel.
Let's spin the wheel and see who goes first,
and then Fish can sit.
Are we taking another shot?
I like Fish a lot.
Yeah, pass.
Roan, are you doing another shot?
I feel like I can't do it alone.
I need cream salmon.
I'm not good with it. It's not as good as the Pepsi. No, Hennessy, not for me. I'm I feel like I can't do it alone. Cream salmon is not good with it.
It's not as good as the Pepsi.
Hennessy, not for me.
I'm going to go out there and say it.
Racist.
I can't go first or second.
I have to do Friday money shots.
I'll be back.
What do you have to do?
I do money shots every Friday at 2.15.
It's only like 20 minutes, 30 minutes.
Who do you money shot?
I do money shots with...
I saw those pictures at the game yesterday.
Actually, the very...
Steven, when we were in the gambling cave last night
watching the game,
Jersey Jerry just didn't know who Kelly in Vegas was.
He was like, damn, Steven Poles.
I think a lot of people thought that that was your wife.
Speaking of which,
are you in solidarity with Tom going to get divorced as well?
No, definitely not.
You'll do a bad diet, but you won't get divorced with him?
Correct.
That's fucked up.
What if he adds divorce to TB12 method?
I'm only following the eating portion.
I mean, that is probably a good way to lose weight.
Yeah, true. You can see it on his body. Divorce definitely makes you lose portion. I mean, that is probably a good way to lose weight. Yeah, true.
You can see it on his body.
Divorce definitely makes you lose weight.
I don't know.
I'd say gain.
No.
You could go either way.
Once I get divorced, I'm going straight to the Haagen-Dazs, baby.
No, no, no, no.
Because you have crippling...
You've got to try to get hot again.
We do have a veteran here of divorce.
You do go through, Kyle.
I always forget you're a veteran of divorce.
Yeah, I am.
Lived in my aunt's basement in Delco for two years afterwards.
Two years, wow.
Where is Delco?
Did you gain weight or lose weight?
Awesome.
Gained?
No, actually, I gained, but then I lost aggressively.
Exactly, yeah.
That's how it goes.
But I think it could go both ways.
I think you could lose and then gain a lot.
It was a roller coaster. I'll tell gain a lot. It was a roller coaster.
I'll tell you that much.
It was a roller coaster.
Yeah, I bet.
Oh, Steven, hop on, buddy.
I had a glow.
Hey, do you want to have those abs or not?
What if I told you if you got divorced for six months, the Bucs would win the Super Bowl?
Can't do that.
Damn.
Jay, I have an actual question.
What was worse, this game?
They played the Ravens, right?
Yeah.
Or the Panthers game?
Panthers game.
Really?
Yeah, by a lot.
I think it was this.
No, because Steven deluded himself.
He's like, I saw some things last night.
No, the first half was really fun.
Of this game?
I didn't score enough, but we were winning.
Vibes were high.
Yeah, it was cool.
I texted you guys, and I was like, all my bets are about to hit.
Yeah.
Then I had a show, and then I got off stage, and all of my bets had lost.
I knew they were going to lose.
I texted Steven in the second quarter.
He did.
I was like, they're going to lose.
I said in my halftime update.
They had an opening script that was perfect, and then everything else sucked.
Yep.
They suck now.
Yeah, it's disappointing.
We're wildly underperforming.
Yeah, bad.
If the Panthers win this week, are they in first in the division?
They are.
Whoever wins that game.
Atlanta or Carolina.
Okay.
Saints have to lose for them to be in first sole possession.
Who are the Eagles playing?
Steelers.
Oh, okay.
Easy dub.
You're a Bills fan.
I'm an Eagles fan and a Bills fan.
I always forget.
I watched my Bills.
You might have a great Super Bowl. Oh, yeah. It is tough because I'm also a Patriots fan. I'm an Eagles fan and a Bills fan. I always forget. You might have a great Super Bowl
defense. Oh, yeah. It is tough
because I'm also a Patriots fan.
And a Cowboys fan.
No, I'm not a Cowboys fan. I actually felt
a lot of shame wearing this sweatshirt today.
Especially with the Phillies.
Stop wearing it then.
I had to drop off my laundry. I had no clothes.
That's why I'm wearing shorts. It's like 40 degrees out.
It's beautiful out.
It is a nice day.
Where's Zah?
Let's use painting first.
He's not here.
Oh, he's not here.
Yeah, I don't understand that.
Someone else.
You have to paint Zah from memory, dude.
So Brandon and I are going to paint each other, and TJ's going to be out.
Who am I?
But I was supposed to paint Brandon.
Oh.
So am I painting KB now?
Who was I supposed to paint?
You're still messed up.
You were supposed to paint me.
Yeah, KB was with Zah.
All right, so why don't you guys paint each other, and me and Brandon will paint each other? And who's Ron painting so why don't you guys paint each other, and me and Brandon will paint each other?
And who's Ron painting?
Why don't you guys paint each other, and me and Brandon can paint each other?
Yeah, this is brilliant.
Okay, fine.
It's perfect.
Could we bring the easel here, or do we have to go out there?
I think it's way easier to paint.
I had an idea for TJ that I can still do with Brandon.
All right.
I should draw it.
All right, I'll do KB.
Is that more insulting to me or TJ?
Neither.
But it's a nude painting. I don't know what your dick and balls look like. I have to KB. Is that more insulting to me or TJ? Neither. But it's a nude painting.
I don't know what your dick and balls look like.
I have to just guess.
So out there, there are smocks.
We have to reuse the smocks.
There's only three, but then everyone has their own little paint.
Are we like two years old?
Why do I have to use smocks?
I mean, you don't have to, but if you want to protect your clothes.
Look at the size of the...
I was expecting a big canvas.
No, there's...
Eight by eight.
Eight by eight?
I just grabbed this shirt off the pile.
That's like what you buy a toddler when they're painting.
Okay, let's spin.
So it's 20 minutes, and then is it...
Once you guys finish, is it we vote on whose is better,
and then the loser takes two shots?
We could do a poll, right?
Do you have a pen or a pencil to draw out first?
CJ, you can pull the chair out.
Alright, so
Nick and
Kate
Penny Friday.
Okay, that was much. It's worse. Penny Friday. Okay.
That was much.
That was a little much.
How about a little cream soda?
It's worse.
The Pepsi is better.
The Pepsi is way better.
I would just go Coke, yeah.
I got Cherry Coke zero.
Yeah, me too.
Cheers.
I don't know why.
Fish, do another trick.
Ooh, that's good.
That's good.
It could be the same trick.
It's not bad.
Can you do a shove it in those?
I don't want you to rip up your shoes.
Yeah, I can do a shove it in those.
Shove it in.
Oh.
Whoops.
It's a big skateboard.
Oh.
Whoa.
That's my biggest fear.
Might be the Henny talking. Scrappy. Definitely the Henny talking. All right my biggest fear. Might be the Henny talking.
Scrappy.
Definitely the Henny.
All right, sit down, Fish.
Sit in Nick or Kate's.
Is that your skateboard?
Let's get someone else in here, too.
Can I take your skateboard for a quick join-up?
We got to get Hennessy Joe in here.
Francis was lurking for a little bit.
Get Francis in here.
He's dressed up. I'll go board over to him and get him. Can I ride your. Francis was lurking for a little bit. Get Francis in here. He's dressed up.
I'll go board over to him and get him.
Can I ride your board down the hallway?
Yeah, go ahead.
I would love to.
Get Hennessy Joe, too.
He's in the control room.
Hennessy Joe?
He's in the equipment room where all the cameras are.
I got to step out, but I'll be back by like 2.45.
All right, cool.
Thank you, Steven.
See you in half an hour.
Because, yeah, skateboarding is like a passion of mine.
Yeah?
Big Hat, I wanted to ask you about something.
Yeah.
That's more of a comment than a question.
I think there's a gap in Barstool's market around extreme sports.
I'd agree.
We do have an Instagram page called BarstoolX.
It has like half a million followers.
Really?
They have not posted since February.
Yeah.
What do you think about a skateboarding podcast or an extreme sports podcast revolving around athletes?
I think what we should do is we should do it step by step.
Revive the Instagram.
Revive the Instagram first and then see if it grows and then we can go from there.
Either of them are where they were supposed to be.
Okay.
I think that's the plan.
I think we've got to get you the Instagram.
It hasn't posted since February.
So we've got to get you the Instagram.
TJ just said it rebranded.
Is that true, TJ?
No, it was to be Gone Patrol.
I'm guessing they post other people's extreme sports.
I think you should only be allowed to post internally originals.
Fish gets control of the Instagram.
If he can grow it, then we'll see, like, okay, we've got an audience here.
Yeah, it's submission-based right now.
I think there's a lack in original content.
Exactly.
Right.
You can grow with taking other people's shit.
I'll talk to Gaz.
But.
Get you the keys to the account, especially if it's dormant.
And if you can grow it, then we'll have another conversation.
Yeah.
That sounds good, right?
Yeah, that sounds amazing.
Yeah.
Because I think it would be stupid to just hop into a podcast, because obviously there's
a lot, like, once we realize, okay, there's fish knows his shit and he's growing this account.
Francis, you got to drink some Hennessy.
Yes.
Sit on down.
Do you know fish?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We met a couple.
You know that he's Topher Grace's voice double.
Apparently.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Talk a little bit.
Put on the headphones, Francis.
You want me to sit here?
Yeah, yeah.
What's a line from It's Always 70s?
You just talking.
It's Always 70s.
It's Always 70s in Philadelphia.
It's Always 70s in Philadelphia.
Can I start at 210?
Yeah, sure.
Do I have 40 minutes?
Yeah.
Apparently I sound like Topher Grace.
You hearing it or no?
I'm not familiar enough with his voice.
Drink some Hedasy.
Where is it?
Yeah.
Pour some?
Can I have some of that?
Pour him up a little bit, Fish.
He's got my Twitter deactivated.
For what?
Oh, what?
Really?
He's got a DMCA strike. For what? Oh, what, really? Got a DMCA strike.
For what?
The Fox News clip?
Yeah, in that they had the clip of Katy Perry blanking, which...
Oh, Katy Perry's team did that.
No, it was Storyful.
Oh.
In Dublin, Ireland.
Huh.
Did you talk to Gaz?
Yeah.
Just like a two-week or a two-day thing? I have no idea. No, it's permanent. This has never happened to me. No, it's... No, no, Ireland. You talk to Gaz? It's just like a two-week or a two-day thing.
I have no idea. This has never happened to me.
No, it's not permanent.
You just say...
You just go on and accept that you have a strike
and then you get your account.
Is that right?
It says I need to contest it.
Get them to retract it.
You can contest it if you want.
Bottom line is you'll get it back. It's just a strike.
Contest is dangerous.
Yeah, contest is dangerous.
That's what TJ said.
What are you doing, Brandon?
Why is contest dangerous?
Why did you take the Hennessy away from Francis?
The way YouTube works is if you contest, it goes back to the DMCA claimer.
And if they say, yeah, it's DMCA claim, then you get a strike.
And then you get permanent trouble.
Oh.
Francis, did you have any questions for Fish?
Fish, did you tell them about your formal Friday thing?
Yeah, I walked in.
That was kind of the intro.
Dress up Fridays.
Did you have any questions for Francis?
No.
You have a very good look.
It's a very anachronistic look.
Thank you.
God damn.
I don't know what that word was.
That's a big one.
It's a big word, anachronistic.
Out of place in time.
Yeah, I think a lot of people look really good in 1920s, 1930s clothing.
I feel like that's going to come back.
I don't think that's anachronistic, though.
People wear throwback wear all the time.
But unironically.
I was talking to Francis.
He's dressing like the 70s, right?
Yeah.
Like in a movie when there's an anachronism.
Basically a human period piece.
Your period.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Most of my wardrobe
consists of like
this kind of clothing.
Sass,
were you and Francis
with one another last night?
We were.
Just guys having fun.
Boys,
I got humbled
trying to go to a comedy show.
Oh,
where'd you go?
The Cellar?
Yeah,
I just waited in line
for an hour.
No,
no.
Who was there last night?
I heard there was a crazy line.
Well, Gillis, but I was just trying to go to any because my friends are in town.
I just wanted something to do.
Why didn't you come see me and Francis?
You don't...
It was sold out.
What the hell?
It was sold out.
I asked you where it was.
I went to the website.
I didn't want to be the guy asking you, hey, can you get four people in?
You don't want to be the guy asking two of your friends who are on the show?
I know that's kind of a bitch to do.
I mean.
We got redirected to the line for the people without reservations,
and they made it seem like we would get in because we were in the front,
and there were several people behind us, and then the out, like, no.
Yeah, that happens a good bit at the cellar.
That happened to Owen recently, too.
Whatever.
And Owen's a high-powered player in the comedy scene.
It's the same face I'm making. It's so gross, dude. It's really bad. It's so fucking bad. in the comedy scene it's the same face
I'm making
so gross dude
it's really bad
it's so fucking bad
and the cream soda
makes it worse Fish
that's your first
DMCA strike
saying that the cream soda
was going to elevate
the Hennessy
it's making it
significantly more
syrupy and worse
you're mixing it
or are you chasing it
yeah the cream soda
is terrible
I tried to mix it
but now
and then Brandon
topped me off
so now it's mostly Hennessy
and just a little bit of cream soda.
I think I'm just going to chase.
Which is like the same thing as getting a pump of caramel in your Starbucks order or whatever.
Can we go find you another liquor to put in there?
No, no.
I'll drink some of this, one of your cherry colas or some shit like that.
Taz, let me get one of your colas.
Zins are so gross.
Which one did you put in there?
They're pretty gross.
The A&W.
Oh, well, that's, yeah.
No shots to A&W, but yeah, that's not the right cream soda.
You're saying that you got this rare Canadian cream soda
that's just a step above all the other cream sodas.
It's Crush Cream Soda.
It's the purple can Crush Cream Soda.
That's the only brand that really works.
It's not as syrupy as maybe that one.
Who's your football team?
I'm not really a big football guy.
The Argonauts?
They're like the best two artists by far.
Nick is really good.
Yeah.
Nate is very good as well.
I have a funny story about the Argos, actually.
The Argonauts.
Argos.
You guys think this is actually going to be funny or no before he goes in?
We'll see because he already said it's going to be a funny story.
Do you think it will be funny?
How about I preface it, I have a story about the Argonauts.
Okay, so I, Roan, to answer your question, I have high hopes for Fish.
Yeah.
But I think this is the story that I start to turn on him.
Really?
Yeah.
Francis, what do you think?
Do you think it'll be funny?
I want to help.
I hope so.
I hope.
I'm rooting for you.
There's no pressure.
Funny might have been the wrong word,
but I have a story about the Argonauts.
Okay, okay.
So should we prepare to laugh or no?
You can back out right now.
You can.
You can eject on this story.
Now the pressure's on.
Jesus Christ, if you end up telling this story,
good for you.
It's terrifying.
That's what I'm saying.
This is a moment where,
am I a gambler?
Do I double down?
Yes.
You are.
Yeah, I mean,
traditionally I'm not a gambler.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm going to back out of the story.
No!
Fuck! There you go. It was of the story. No! Fuck!
There you go.
It was a funny story.
You just took the deal on deal or no deal.
Which is probably smart, dude.
All right, so you backed out, but if you were to tell the story, what would it have been?
When I was in high school.
Now it doesn't need to be funny.
No, no, exactly.
We saved you from yourself, to be honest.
When I was in high school, I was at a New Year's party,
and the girl's house where we were at, her father was a big sports memorabilia fan.
Just had a ton of sports memorabilia.
And me and a good friend of mine were throwing this football around throughout the party,
having a couple drinks, it's fine.
And eventually at the
end of the night mom comes home says all right everybody get out you know go home so we leave
and as i leave i still have the football in my hand i'm not really thinking about it i wake up
the next morning and it was the like game-winning touchdown football thrown in the gray cup the 100th gray cup win that the argonauts won
signed by the entire team and i woke up and it was just in my room and uh i woke up to several
text messages from this girl saying like hey i i saw you on the like the camera from my house i
need you to give me the football back uh and so and she's like it's it's okay. It'll be anonymous. I won't
say anything.
I went back to her house and just left
it on her doorstep.
That was a good story.
It was a good story, but also very good
you backed out on the funny aspect.
Yes, that was just a factual story.
That was just a really interesting story.
A good high school party story.
I did check eBay
to see what
maybe some of those
And what do you think
would have gone for?
Well, it's a one of one though.
You wouldn't have
got away with it.
It's like selling a painting
that you stole from the Louvre
or something.
There's no way that
there's going to be
other ones of those online.
Yeah, I mean,
I guess I didn't check too hard,
but I guess you can
reference other footballs with similar stature.
Here's what I would have done.
I would have just said, hey, guys,
I accidentally stole the Grey Cup championship football.
Then we're like, what?
How do you accidentally steal something?
It sounds like you accidentally stole it.
Well, I mean, in hindsight, I stole it.
I think everyone else would look at that and go, stole the football you're just an idiot but i don't know if anyone
would say i actually i went to court and said i accidentally stole something that probably wouldn't
be a good defense i accidentally stole a yogurt one time from a from a wawa and i was just shit
face drunk i was just obliterated and i like just took it and walked out and i got caught by the
cops and there was a a kid who went to my high school who was gay who tried to save me,
and I didn't put together that he was trying to save me.
I just thought that he was trying to get me home.
And so I was like, find me my friends.
Dude, I thought that this guy was taking advantage of me.
But he was really just saving me because I accidentally stole a yogurt.
So I think accidental steals happen.
I accidentally stole in second grade. I went to the cafeteria. I had never bought lunch before. I thought stole a yogurt. So I think accidental steals happen. I accidentally stole in second grade.
I went to the cafeteria.
I had never bought lunch before.
I thought lunch was free.
And I stole a bag of chips.
And then the principal called me into the office.
And made a fool out of me.
I used to not use a shopping cart.
I wrote a blog about it back in the day.
I used to not use a shopping cart whenever I went to the grocery store.
Because I was pretty much shopping for myself. And I always thought I moved quicker. But also, I used to not use a shopping cart whenever I went to the grocery store because I was pretty much shopping for myself.
And I always thought I moved quicker.
But also I did.
I moved very quick.
You know, like when you have a shopping cart, you're slow, slow, naturally walk slow with a shopping cart.
So I move very fast without a shopping cart.
But it would also lead me to like probably once a month I would just end up stealing like a bottle of hot sauce or like a pound of roast beef because I'd put it stuff stuff into my pockets.
So I guess I just stole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, at some at some point in your life, it's the best decision is to steal.
Right.
Not at all.
I stole one time and it was with Roan.
What do we take?
You forced me to steal.
What did we take?
Rattawawa.
What do we take? You said you kept on. What did we take? Rattawawa. What did we take?
You said you kept on taking things
and putting them in my bag.
What? Random like beef jerky
and cheese mixes. I don't think that's
true, but I did. Oh, it is 100%.
I did used to do that. I remember
waking up that morning and I had like a hundred
things of beef jerky.
We would steal. Roan made me steal it.
We'd steal like the whole box of like premium crackers and be like, these crackers are on
premium.
I like to call it gathering.
Yeah.
Hunting and gathering.
Squirrel behavior.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all that is.
What Wawa was in it?
Hennessy gets you drunk.
Yeah.
I'm like, I don't need this.
A little more.
Francis, a little more.
A little more. Yeah. Get a little more. Brandon, get Francis like a... I don't need this. A little more? Francis, a little more? I'd love a little more.
Yeah, get a little more. Brandon, get
Francis some Hennessy, Brandon.
It's right there. I'll grab it.
Brandon's supposed to be the poor since he's not...
He's just being a...
He's like a surveyor. He's like going back
to
plantation owner status.
You know, Fisher's story
reminds me of sports memorabilia when i was a kid
we moved to this new town and there were all these new kids that i really liked
and kind of wanted to fit in but i was like i was a little shyer back then and
um you're a ginger yeah and i just i really wanted to impress them, and I think there was this really cool baseball park, and I actually borrowed a ball from my mom's boyfriend at the time.
Not really thinking about it because we'd lost the ball.
This is the Sandlot.
This is the exact plot of the Sandlot.
I've heard him tell this story.
I was thinking about this the entire time.
I've heard him tell this story.
Oh, no, no.
There was this big dog.
Yeah, we had to hop over the fence.
He told the story.
He had this long brim on his hat he was telling me about.
It was funny looking.
You guys are wrong.
I was waiting for someone.
I was going to make my own story,
and I was just going to say the plot of the Sandlot
and know if anyone else was picking up on it. Go ahead. That was waiting for someone. I was going to make my own story and I was just going to say the plot of the Sandlot. I don't know if anyone else was picking up on it.
Go ahead.
That was what you were doing? I was going to do the
exact same thing. You shouldn't have
let him. You shouldn't have called him out.
I thought I'd be able to get to the dog.
You played it off very well
when you were like my mom's boyfriend.
You played that off well.
You should have let him finish. I didn't call him out.
KB told him out first. Brandon has that as his fifth ranked MVP. Yeah, I got that off well. You should have let him finish. I didn't call him out. KB told him out first.
Brandon has that as his fifth ranked MVP.
Yeah, I got too excited.
It was good.
Too good.
Too good.
You should have let him play out.
Tell the story.
Brandon.
Well, he needed to hear Fish's story.
It won't work on him.
Because Fish told a story about stealing sports memorabilia.
And Brandon, I did something very similar,
although I was intending to give it back.
But it was my mom's boyfriend at the time.
He had this baseball, and I had just moved to this new town.
And these kids were really into, like...
What the fuck is that?
You're off the Hennessy.
I love it.
You're off the Hennessy.
I did a similar thing.
One time I was like 3'9", and I was on the baseball team,
and I hit a foul ball, and it killed my best friend's mom.
Bonked her in the head.
She died.
It was crazy.
This one time this lightning struck this phone wire,
and the shoes just started glowing.
Put them on.
I brought my dog to basketball practice one time.
He started dunking.
Yeah, I was an A student and my mom just kept on being like, get a B.
Get a B once.
Now, that's a deeply rooted Sandlot reference.
Oh, damn.
Flopped, though.
Well, they were all doing other movies at that point.
I know, I wanted to go back to Sandlot.
I'm still stuck on Sandlot.
How much time are they going to be painting for?
Yeah, I feel like we didn't really plan this out.
We got, like, another two hours.
Can we get cams on?
And then we got to do, like, 15 minutes, 12 minutes?
There is a cam on it right there.
No, no, no.
Henny's not paying for anything.
We're just doing a paint battle.
Nick has Hennessy Fridays.
The wheel decided...
Cool.
Oh, yeah, the wheel decided we're doing a paint battle
where people have to paint each other naked.
What should I do for Stephen Che's painting?
Should it be something...
I want it to be easy, but also...
Maybe put Giselle in it?
How is he going to know?
Sucking him off.
How am I going to paint...
Giselle's sucking him off.
Che broke up the marriage. Wow. Okay, yeah, so going to paint? Giselle's sucking him off. Che broke up the marriage.
Wow.
Okay, yeah.
So Tom Brady crying, Giselle sucking off Che,
and him waving like a saint's flag or something like that.
Oh, I like it.
He just says, sorry, buddy.
Sorry about your wife, buddy.
Yeah.
Okay, that's good.
Here's a nuanced question.
Do you think that if Tom Brady retires midseason
because the Bucs have been eliminated from playoff contention
that Gisele taking him back is more pathetic?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, now that it's officially divorced,
I think he has to keep playing for like three more years.
Yeah, he can't go back to her.
And he has to blame – he has built an excuse this year, I think,
because I think you're right.
It is more pathetic.
It's definitely more pathetic.
I mean, I feel like there's got to be more problems than just the –
I mean, are they even going to make the playoffs?
So Florio said on –
Isn't their season over in like two months?
He had a great conspiracy theory that I love that –
so remember there was the story about Tom Brady tampering,
the dolphins tampering with Tom Brady came out.
Florio thinks that Giselle didn't know about that.
So Tom Brady was trying to go to Miami and not tell his family beforehand.
And so Tom Brady took the time off in training camp right after the tampering story came out.
Wow.
He was making a little power play?
Yeah.
I mean, why would you tell your family?
Yeah.
Well, she would have been happy with Miami now.
I think so.
I don't know.
Either way, he does have to play like three more years now.
I want to live in Tampa.
Who the fuck wants to stay in Tampa Bay?
Just former wrestlers.
And everybody on the Lightning.
Yeah, they do have to live there.
I have a buddy, not to name drop,
but I have a buddy who is on the Lightning.
Where did you meet him?
College.
Where?
College.
You know.
Say where I went to college.
Didn't forget.
No.
Hartford.
Alex Korn.
He was in my, basically my frat.
Oh, you could say it.
Wasn't a frat.
Final Club.
Yeah, Final Club.
Do people know that?
Do people know that shit?
Yeah, Social Network.
Did we all see Social Network?
He's a great guy. And he is from. You've been in touch with him? Yeah, social network. He's a great guy.
Have you been in touch with him?
Yeah, all the time.
He's from Toronto.
So is Fish.
I think he's from Toronto.
It might be from Montreal.
I don't know.
Clearly I'm not that close.
There's a big difference.
He's in Tampa Bay.
He's like, I'll never not live here.
Really?
Yeah.
People that live there love it.
They love it.
It's not a bad city.
I like it a lot, yeah.
I think it's fun.
Strip club capital of the world.
A lot of people claim that.
It's like the murder capital.
I don't know, man.
They got a lot of strip clubs.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, no. All right, so. Okay. Oh, no.
All right, so the painting reveal.
We're going to have to do this best.
Did you have 3D with yours?
Brandon, put the mic in front of him.
Put the mic in front of him, Brandon.
I didn't mean to snap at you like that.
Okay.
I respected it.
Here we go.
Who wants to reveal first?
Eight.
Okay. The paint's still a little... I have a lot. Here we go. Who wants to reveal first? Eight. Okay.
The paint's still a little...
I have a lot of dick.
Whoa!
What do you call it?
Follow the yellow brick cock?
Oh, my God.
Kate, that's amazing.
I like how you went 3D.
I did.
With the cum.
And it looks exactly like my face.
Oh, fuck.
And Kate?
Or Nick?
I think I like how she chopped off the lower half
So I got her titties right
I know that
What's it resting on?
I made the bend of the dick
Before I finished the legs
And so I was like fuck a dick couldn't bend like that
So it's on a box But yeah that, so it's on a box.
Yeah, it looks like it's on a yoga block.
Oh, fuck.
The slope of it's incredible.
I like that you both made these long, marvelous, bendy dicks.
They shouldn't have been first.
Sucks that, yeah, everyone's going to be worse.
It's all bad.
Good shit.
I said that.
Those are both incredible.
So we're going to sell those or what?
Yeah, we're going sell those or what?
Yeah we're gonna sell them I think those will be our two highest
We got 10 minute limits now
Yeah 10 minute limits
TJ I just sent you a TikTok of the girl clearing the air
We got 10 minutes now?
Yeah
Oh there's a new update?
Yeah new update
Those are great can I get a picture of both?
Spin it again
Spin the wheel let's see who's next.
Look at the camaraderie they have after they just put each other's dicks. I was going to watch this, but if you've seen my recent videos about being catfished,
please watch this because I need to clear the air so I can stop getting attacked by
burst fans and like
old men who are calling me ugly i had no clue until i posted this tiktok who jeff nadu nadu
whatever barstool guy i have no idea who he is i'm an 18 year old girl i don't know why i would
know who that is and why i would like make up a catfishing story and use his picture so i'm not
lying please stop attacking me. This is a picture
my roommate took of my phone when I opened the Snapchat because we were freaking out like, oh my
god, I got catfished. This is my raw reaction. I don't think this Jeff guy actually was the person
catfishing me. I think the Snapchat I got was like fake. I don't know how they did it, but I think
whoever catfished me made like a fake Snapchat somehow and used this Jeff guy's picture because
he thought it was funny or something.
I talked to someone at Barstool and I told them
I did not mean to cause any harm,
so please stop attacking me, guys.
Hey, guys.
I don't know who's going to watch this.
All right, so no harm and definitely don't attack her.
She did nothing wrong.
The story is funny.
Yes.
She's not taking it seriously.
She's a loser.
Yeah.
People attacked her for being a bad storyteller
perhaps
Happens to me every fucking time I come
You really dominated the conversation
with your story that was beautiful
that we all added to
I don't know why I did that
I regret it
Why?
You only speak in like two second increments
I've learned I'm gonna be better Regret it. Why? Huh? He only speak in like two second increments. Yeah.
I've learned.
So I'm going to be better.
Good, good, good.
I'm going to be better.
All right, let's spin the wheel and see who's going next.
Don't let anyone get you down, Francis.
Yeah, I don't like that at all.
Fish told his story and it sucked.
Everybody likes it.
All right, KB, me and...
I love a good story.
Nope.
Brandon.
No, it's me and you.
Me and you.
Oh. Damn it. My story. Nope. Brandon. No, it's me and you. Me and you. Oh.
Damn it.
My story was redacted.
That was an interesting story.
Francis, come sit over here.
So if you want any pointers for painting, go pencil first and then just paint over top of it.
That's what I was going to do.
Yeah.
I don't think Kate drew with pencil first.
I think she's free-balled and she's good.
I was going to just do one of those paintings
where you have a bunch of dots on a painting
and then you squeegee down
and it makes some kind of cool design.
I just didn't have a squeegee, though.
I felt like a fucking idiot because I didn't have a squeegee.
You don't have any.
I do. Right here.
This is my second cup.
What are they doing?
What?
Brandon's wondering if he's taking his pants off.
He's thinking about it.
Looking at the curve up of Brandon's left titty.
Okay.
Yeah, that's a good titty.
It looks like a woman's titty from a foregone era.
It's how women's titty used to look before we had access to so much food and sustenance.
Dan's pants are so close to the color of his skin.
I know.
He looks naked, yeah.
You couldn't think he was naked.
And the way that the stomach kind of rests on top of the pant. It looks like the only thing bringing you back to reality is the wrinkle in the pant.
You know, these are the antics that make me realize
why people really love this show so much.
We love that, but we also love
a good yarn, brother.
Why don't you spin us one?
Not spinning any yarn.
Not spinning any yarn.
Keep it on the spool?
I love spools.
Diva la spool, brother. Let's fucking rip a yarn for us.
Give us a nice fucking...
I like your storytelling style.
I feel like that's...
It's good.
And it's also something that this show doesn't have.
Every non-moron liked the story.
Yeah, I think you're thinking of the moron.
I think I...
You're such an over-thinker.
I'm sorry to interrupt you.
Yes, I am.
One of the guys who spoke at my wedding,
who is a very neurotic Jew,
and he complimented me because he was like,
Francis doesn't look like a neurotic Jew,
but he has the sort of mentality of one,
which maybe means that I'm actually an athletic stud.
I've said this before.
I've never chilled with you
without you texting me and apologizing after.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm not really sure where that comes from,
but I just feel like I owe everyone an apology all the time.
So does Kate.
Oh, I do that.
And she does apologize all the time.
I move through life feeling like a burden on everyone.
Every time we're done with the yak, I'm like, I'm like a charity case.
They shouldn't let me in here.
I'm sorry, guys.
Catholicism, dude.
It's definitely Catholicism.
I think that might be it.
Yeah, it's got to be.
But, Francis, were you raised Catholic like that?
No, I just paid for a lot of abortions.
Which is the way.
He does.
I didn't.
Fish has a six-year-old.
Damn.
And he's 24. Fish, that's insane.-old. Damn. And he's 24.
Fish, that's insane.
I want to react to that.
And he's 24.
I never know where you guys are fucking with me.
No, he told me and I went right to his Instagram and fact-checked him.
Are you a child?
I do.
He's 24.
You're 24?
I'm 23.
Big kid.
Are you the father at 17?
I was conceived when I was 17, born when I was 18.
The kid's six.
Oh, my God.
And he's 23.
Dude, tell me about the process of coming to terms with that at that age for you.
Coming to terms is a great, it's a good diction.
Yeah, you.
Yeah, so I was in high school.
It was a one-night stand.
What?
I didn't really know her.
Yeah, no, actually, okay, to preface all of this,
I'm in a great spot in my life.
Of course.
Of course.
I'm fantastic.
You don't even have to say that.
Are you with the mother of your child?
No, we were never really together.
She's in Canada right now.
He's in New York.
That's kind of fly.
It was a one-night stand?
What the fuck?
Yeah, yeah.
That's great shit.
Was this before you stole the football or after?
After. You don't have to answer this before you stole the football or after? After.
You don't have to answer this.
Was this your virginity fuck?
No.
Of course not.
How far up was it from that?
He'd been fucking for years.
That's when I was 14.
Yeah.
He's the goat, dude.
He's the goat.
Christ, dude.
What's the matter with you?
No wonder you got pregnant when you were 16.
It was time.
He was ready.
He fucked enough he was ready to settle down.
Yeah, it just kind of happened.
Sorry he was cool.
Sorry he blows the stickiest loads.
The densest fucking...
It has to be super sticky, right?
You could hang lots of art on the wall.
Some silly putty ass loads.
You're a fucking nerd.
We are.
So how'd you find out?
I was coming back from a school field trip.
Why are you going to be a dad coming back from a field trip?
Did you have a chaperone with you?
I was on a field trip, and I came home.
That's the only time that's ever happened.
You were coming back from the Anne Frank Memorial. That's the only time that's ever happened. We're coming back from the Anne Frank Memorial.
That's insane.
They're at the Apple Orchard.
Shaker Village.
Yeah, we're coming back from a field trip,
and she texted me a picture of the pregnancy test.
That was positive.
Oh, is that?
No.
You were on the bus?
Were you on the school bus?
Yeah, I was on the bus.
Oh, the school bus leaving the zoo.
Yeah, I was on the bus coming home.
What was the future?
This was the best.
I was on the bus coming back to the school where my mom was going to pick me up.
Where was the field trip?
Oh, we were in Buffalo.
Cool.
So we came back, and she told me, and I wasn't sure if it was true or not.
I just wasn't sure.
Bitches do lie.
Or not even that, just like maybe it's a false positive.
I just didn't know enough information at the time.
And so I got off the bus.
My mom was there, picked me up.
I got in the car, and pretty much immediately I was like,
hey, I got to tell you something.
And so I told her immediately.
I was like, because I already knew.
I'd watched enough movies.
This was something I definitely needed someone else to deal with.
I needed someone else to help me with this.
You were a child.
Yeah, I was 17.
I had no idea what was going to happen.
So, yeah, I told her, and obviously she was 17. I was like, this is, you know, and I had no idea what was going to happen. So, yeah, I told her, and obviously she was shocked,
as she should be.
If she wasn't, that would be a very different story.
Of course, my boy.
So, yeah.
You've been fucking since 14.
What decade were you wearing when you told her?
80s?
18, 80s.
It was a Friday.
I was wearing 50s gear
it was straight 1990s
you got the text on the bus
did you like tell your boys
no no
I was definitely not
talk for the rest of the time
hey guess who's about to be a dad
on the bus
yeah I stood up in congratulations
yeah
pumped my fist in the air
no
yes I told her
and kind of there
you are so much mentally stronger than I am.
That's nuts.
I would be free.
I would also never tell my mom.
No.
Until the baby was alive and born.
That's when I would tell my mom.
Stand on that.
Yeah.
I don't want to get.
Until the baby was alive.
I don't want to get really dark, but I think at that age, if I get that text, someone's dying.
Yeah.
You're one of the three of you. You're the ultimatum. yeah either me or her I don't know so that's not only both really not a family it's a triple homicide anyway so my mom
was super supportive in terms of like just like how are you doing how are you
you know I just I care about you.
I want to know what you're doing.
We got to figure this out.
You know, is it yours?
All that kind of thing.
So eventually as time went on, oh, no.
Okay.
Let me back up actually.
So this is, this part is sort of the juicy part of the story.
So a couple months in, me and her were not really communicating very much.
And she posted on Facebook and tagged me like in the first line was like at Elliot Fish
is you know the father of my child yeah bro that sounds like an Elliot Page movie yeah
about Elliot yeah right Oprah Grace will star me in this movie uh yeah and so she tagged me
on Facebook and so I had friends, teachers,
all my community basically
just coming and asking me, like, hey, is this true?
Is that the wording of it?
No, I don't remember exactly. I mean, this is six years ago.
This is like a heavy story, and your jacket is making
so much noise.
This rocks.
I'll sort of skip to the end, which is
really cool. I don't really want you to skip.
At all. Yeah, I don't know. So, like, which is really good. I don't really want you to skip. At all.
Yeah, I don't know.
So, like, through my senior year of high school, it was an interesting time.
It was sort of managing, like, obviously all my school stuff with, like, the emotional well-being of coming to terms with knowing that I was going to be a father soon.
And, well, okay, so let going to be a father soon.
Let me back up a little bit.
It's kind of a cool time to get pregnant because you, A, have help built in
and B, it's not like you know
this adulthood that you're
sacrificing or something like that.
It's not like, oh, I'm living this crazy life.
I have to settle down or something like that.
You're just thrust into it.
I want to say I'm super fortunate.
I'm very fortunate to be in a position where this was something that could happen to me where i was like big agree to disagree the the grasping for a silver lining here
i'm sorry there is no world where it's easier to have a child at 17.
road tried to gaslight him into thinking that.
It was the
perfect time of your life. I sound like a
dork, but we started talking
because he was like, oh, I have a son.
Of course, he accidentally made eye contact with me.
I was like, look at this cute picture of my son.
We were talking about parenting or whatever.
He was like, oh, I hope I'm not putting too much
thought, but my kid is into what I do.
He wanted to direct something. Watch this movie. my son directed the whole thing like you're a great
dad like he's a great he was showing me stuff that like you're a super involved super wonderful
like really creative good dad to your kid like thank you like his son shows an interest in
or his kid so sorry he shows an interest in something and like you like totally go for it
and like let him have fun like you're a great parent for being so young like it's hard when you're in your 30s and i feel like you're
crashing it yeah it's hard for anyone i think like regardless of age it's going to be difficult
it's just the way that i meant it i can't buy this it's just the way that i meant it you're
10 years younger than me i'm not taking parenting advice Are you out of your fucking mind?
Don't you think it would be easier? He got the news on a bus trip from the Natural History Museum.
So, again, stop me again if I'm pushing.
I'm just so interested in this because you don't get to talk to somebody like this.
That happens to you very often.
Ever, even.
You're dating now, right? You have a long time how do you break that like you're 19 and trying to like date a
girl and you have a two-year-old kid is how's that how do you break that i'll tell you a little
secret uh and i don't need i'm not gonna need i don't think you have any this is for like the
18 year olds who are just about to go to college.
I don't know.
It was never a problem for me.
I just never had an issue with it.
Most girls I would tell right away or like on the first or second date pretty much.
And all of them – anyone who I dated after that point was either like, okay, or yeah, I don't know.
It was just never really a problem. Francis, don't you think it would be easier to be born deaf though than to hear a little bit and then become deaf?
I need you to connect this because he he was never an adult who didn't have kids so he didn't have like the fun times of being an adult he was just thrust into having children right away he never
knew what he's missing yeah how do you do that Brandon I don't know I just want to keep Brandon's ass on me alright maybe maybe
at best
I just want to say
I'm not a good artist
no
who's going first
I'll go first
as I said
I can only draw one thing
so it is
that's really good
it's beautiful
but Dan is in the window
right there
his dick is coming
out the door
his dick is out the door
oh hell yeah
that's beautiful
that is damn good
that's a good paint job.
It does look like Dan.
Yeah.
Just the hairy part.
I don't.
Looks like Beaker.
I'm not a good artist.
So, yeah.
How hammered are you, Dan?
I'm pretty drunk.
I also.
I also.
I saw when you walked in, you kind of paused.
Yeah, you know.
It's up for like four hours last night.
I was trying to get wazoo plus seven and a half.
All right, so be nice to me.
I drew how I thought Brandon's balls and penis looks.
That's pretty good.
Oh, nice.
Wait, he looks like Mr. Bill.
I don't know what the sign says.
He's standing in front of it.
Oh, yeah, it probably says wine power
He's got big old balls that he pees on
Look how big his balls are
New alternative energy
Wine power
Those are damn good
Alright spin the wheel again
Let's see who's up next
Fish we're not done with this
Me and KB are about to get up Spin the wheel again Let's see who's up next Well Fish We're not done with this I know
Francis
Me and KB
Are about to get up
I was going to say
A drunk big
Is back
Same artistic skill
As my six year old
That's you guys
Alright
Fuck
I'm actually starting
To like the Hennessy
The Hennessy
It's crazy how much
Better we are
As a liquor show
Than as a beer show
Yeah
We suck off beer
And it's so much fun off liquor.
I'm having a blast right now.
Is there any more soda left?
I feel like I should do one more.
Is there any more soda anywhere?
There's a shitty ass cream soda.
Nobody's ever looked
drunker when you leaned into the mic.
I don't understand how
My hair, my buttons
I shouldn't be wearing this shirt
It's just a Friday
So Kyle is going to be so fucking bad at this
Fish, what's your Twitter?
People are asking
I don't have Twitter
You're Elliot Fish on Instagram, right?
Why don't you just get a Twitter?
Oopsies
Fishy Gishy Big Cat, to catch you up on Instagram, right? Why don't you just get a Twitter? Are you okay with me putting up? Oopsies. It's okay.
Fishy Gishy.
That's my Instagram.
Big Cat, to catch you up,
Fish is a father,
which you may know,
and he's telling us sort of the story
of raising this child
who's now six.
Six!
And he had him when he was 17.
Yeah.
I was 18 when he was born.
I was 17 when he was born.
How old is he?
Six if you're 23.
The mother of his son texted him a picture
of the positive pregnancy test on the way home he was on the way home from a school field trip
he was at the aquarium yeah you're like fuck yeah i did this he was in the splash zone she
was in the splash zone a short recap i i got off the bus, and my mom picked me up,
and I immediately told her.
I was like, hey, I have to tell you something.
You did this the exact opposite of how I would.
Yeah.
I hope that's the kind of parent I am, though,
where my kid feels like he can tell me anything.
It's also a very funny premise just being like,
I found out I was going to be a father,
then my mom picked me up from the bus.
Yes.
It was field trip.
Mom, I think I'm ready.
My mom picked me up in her minivan, and I told her.
She made me sit in the back.
I'm going to be a dad.
Yeah, you strapped it in your car seat.
I didn't weigh enough to turn on the air bag.
Obviously very shocked, but she was very supportive.
She was like, I didn't know you had dick game like that.
Man.
Whatever.
Was there no discussion of an alternative?
There was during the pregnancy.
I guess her parents were not supportive at the beginning.
What are we talking about?
When you say alternative, what are you talking about?
Yeah. Like a vacuum cleaner. I don't know, a spiral staircase? A coat hanger? were not supportive at the beginning. What are we talking about? When you say alternative, what are you talking about? Yeah, yeah.
Like a vacuum cleaner.
I don't know, a spiral staircase?
Or a coat hanger?
You were in Canada, too, so it would be free, right?
Yeah, that's true.
So there was really, you really love this kid.
Yeah, I do love him.
He's great.
He's awesome.
Sounds like he rocks.
Yeah, no, he is awesome.
I take him skateboarding.
We go rock climbing.
I go back to Toronto all the time whenever I can.
Yeah, he's an awesome kid.
It was his birthday in September.
I went back for his birthday and had an awesome time.
How are you going to talk to him about weed?
What time in his life?
You know what, I've thought about this actually.
Okay, so here's something cool.
Okay, so a silver lining to being a young dad is that when I'm 36, he'll be 18.
Yes, true.
When I take him to the park, I'm not an old dad.
I can go on the slides with him.
I can do all this stuff with him.
I'm like, that's me now, but my kid is a baby.
I've said this.
I love being a dad.
The only regret I have is I wish I had been a dad earlier.
You did it right, man.
I do that math.
He did it right.
I'm like, I'll be 52 when my son is graduating high school.
It sucks.
He'll be 36.
That's fine.
That's normal.
My hips and knees crack when I lay him in the crib.
I would rather still be like.
This Hennessy is fantastic.
It is a delight.
It's a good batch.
This might be a good batch of Hen.
I can barely feel it.
So you're going to be 36 when he's 18.
Yeah, so it's nuts.
It's like your whole life's been in a mess.
You can start your 20s at 36, so what?
Your kid is going to have grandkids.
You're going to be like 45.
That's how to do it.
Well, actually, you'll be 36.
Are we making like a...
It sounds like we're making like a positive like protest towards...
Or not protest. A positive argument towards having like a teen pregnancy. Oh, I'm positive argument towards having a teen pregnancy.
Maybe not teen pregnancy.
I wish I had had kids earlier because I do think about, oh, shit, I'll be in my 50s.
So this is what I was saying earlier.
Only if you're a guy.
Much easier, though.
So this is what I was saying earlier.
You're never ready regardless of age, and that's something I've realized just talking to anybody who's a parent.
And so having them younger.
This wise bastard, dude.
Having them younger, obviously it wasn't something that I chose to do.
It wasn't something that I necessarily wanted,
but at the same time, it's a reality in my life,
so I moved forward with it.
After that point, all the positives are like, yeah, like, I am young,
and I get to hang out with him, and he's like, you know,
when he's 18 and I'm 36, like, it's one of the guys.
Like, it's just kind of like, it's more of a,
like, I am still his father, I'm still his dad,
and I will have done that for many years,
but at the same time, it's like, I get all these moments where,
like, we get to go and do stuff that a lot of other parents
don't get to do with their kids.
Dude, he's going to be a stoolie in six years.
Yeah.
You could bring your son on your bachelor party.
You definitely could.
That's fucking ridiculous.
Yeah, because he can drink at 18 in Canada, too.
Yeah, we could get married at the same time.
Yeah, that's true.
Have a wedding.
Well, also-
Benedict just got himself covered in paint.
It's so ridiculous.
I don't know how he did that. You've really set yourself up to be a great grandfather at a reasonable age.
Yeah.
Great grandfather.
Which is kind of cool.
Yeah.
It's kind of cool.
You could become a great, great grandfather.
Yeah.
If you convince your son to be as irresponsible as you were.
Well, I mean, like, yeah.
He has this so figured out.
I think you should have had a kid younger.
Do you regret it ever where you're like, damn,
I was fucking at 14, dude. I could have laid
the groundwork for a
28-14 connection with my
baby. Here's what I'll say.
I wouldn't recommend
this lifestyle to anyone.
I'm not advocating
for 14-17 year olds to go
and get someone
pregnant, but at the same time, I'll say
that if you are in a situation like this
that looking for help,
looking for people who are going to support you
is huge and very important, but
at the same time, you have to realize
this does alter your life.
It alters for the rest of your life.
I wish that I... Take a drink mean, I wish that I did.
It takes a drink.
A big one.
I do wish that I didn't have to grow up so fast,
but at the same time I understand all of the stuff that goes along with that,
and so I accepted it very quickly.
You also work at Barstool.
You wear goofy outfits, and you get to drink Hennessy on Fridays.
I don't think you grew up that fast.
That's a big thing, right?
You get to be yourself.
You get to be who you want to be. You don't think you grew up that fast. That's a big thing, right? You get to be yourself. You get to be who you want to be.
You don't have to be some low life.
Do you have dreams that you had to alter as a result of this?
Not really.
Not really.
No.
I think my dreams kind of coincided really nicely.
I went to film school.
I want to make movies and whatnot and make content.
And you still went to SCAD, which is like an amazing school for that.
Yeah,
I got a,
I got a,
did you use your kid
in the essay or what?
Actually,
yes,
I totally did.
You have to.
Yes,
I totally did.
Fucking co-wrote it with him.
Grown ass kid.
Yeah,
yeah.
No,
so I played lacrosse in college.
I got a full ride,
like,
athletic scholarship,
which is why I got to go there
and I studied film,
did what I wanted to do
and,
Wait, you played lacrosse in college?
I did, yeah.
I played lacrosse.
What position did you play?
They called the Bs.
Yeah, the Bs.
Yeah.
How did you know that?
You're better than Francis at lacrosse?
Yeah.
No.
No, I ain't.
You're mistaken.
I have a national championship.
You're mistaken because I didn't have a child when I was training.
He played lacrosse in college.
My testosterone was crazy.
I was like freaking buff.
It was his, dude.
It was his.
You won a national championship?
I did, yeah.
Prince, did you?
No.
It's a different nation.
Well, that doesn't matter.
That's details we don't need to get into.
Aren't there like five colleges in Canada?
Yeah, pretty much.
Were you playing box?
I did play box as a kid, and then I played field in college.
Clearly.
He knew a crease or two.
Playing it like a fiddle.
He had Rizzy games.
Did you play hockey?
I did play hockey as a kid a little bit, but I was more into lacrosse than hockey.
I fucking like this guy, Fish.
With his kid.
With his 23-year-old ass and his kid, dude.
You've got to talk to KB because he has a kid on the way.
He does.
He's thinking about not raising it in the Church of God.
He's not like you because he hasn't told his mom yet.
Maybe you could help him.
She's probably furiously texting him right now.
He's trying to paint.
Look at him.
He's just minding his own business.
Doesn't even realize.
I think he got her
to stop listening to the yak
but he told her
to listen to anus only
and he mentions
the one true God
every episode now.
He's out of nowhere.
He's just like
I'm going to thank
the one true God.
Our triune God.
The Father,
the Son,
the Holy Spirit.
They've been out there forever.
KB, I just looked at his paint
and he has made
like no progress
I told him his face was way off
it's so much harder than
I don't know how you guys are so good at it
he's trying to make his drawing stupid
time did fly, like time flew
half of his canvas is
Sass's face
it's only 5 minutes
it takes 30 seconds at first, watch him freak out
it looks like he's using his phone as a reference.
He is.
He is.
Because he's doing something a little spicy to the painting that I could see.
Let's take a sip of our Hennessy.
Yeah, let's take a sip.
Can we go for a while?
You guys can go for a while on this.
I'm really enjoying this.
Oh, yeah.
Friday.
Nothing shows Kyle as a wrestler more is when he tries to do other things.
Yes.
Wrestlers can't do other things.
When you see wrestlers try to play basketball
and they just wrestle on a basketball court.
He's painting and mouthing the words along.
You can always tell.
He's so serious.
I don't know which one y'all want to guess,
but one of them's trying way too hard.
Oh, yeah.
Speaking of basketball,
tickets just went on sale for...
They might both be trying way too hard.
I tried with the Barcelona Invitational.
Very cool.
So halftime of UA beats Lido, which is the first game we're going to be playing.
Yak basketball.
It's going to be insane.
I don't know.
One of us is going to get injured.
Brandon Rohn and I might be in suits.
Yes.
Yeah, we will.
We should find a way to get Francis in the game.
Yeah, Francis, you want to get in the game?
Who is it?
Is it a real player?
No, it's us.
Look at the people on the graphic.
No big deal, but I'm going to need one of these Pizza Hut.
I would play.
Remember when we played?
Yeah, Yak Basketball is a game we created
that is the dumbest game ever created.
Explain the rules.
Explain the rules as he watches the...
It's similar to a game of 21
But the rules are
You can't
There can never be two consecutive shots
At the same rim
So it basically
No matter how you
Like you could play with the best players in the world
And it would still look like everyone
Is an idiot
Because there's no teams
It's all one man fast break
Right so everyone just running And then immediately going to the other hoop
and then immediately going.
On a professional size court.
And we're playing this where the Sixers play.
Look at Sass.
Look at Sass.
Oh, oh.
It's going to look so stupid.
I'm so excited.
You make your shot.
You're out.
You're out.
You get to walk off the court.
It's going to be a lifetime.
Then it becomes just one-on-one on a full court.
It's like a single elimination thing.
You're out.
And then, yeah, eventually we whittle it down.
So it'll be like one-on-one.
We need a punishment for the loser.
Yeah.
We need to really de-incentivize losing this game.
We are losing this game that should be easy in an arena that a professional team plays in.
We need an extra layer of reason for people to try not to lose.
Yeah.
There's going to be a whole section.
They have like over 100 tickets for veterans there.
Maybe you have to go say something in that section.
You have to go like, what section?
Talk to the veterans?
It's a veteran section.
Barstool's giving tickets to veterans for this game, which is awesome.
I ain't talking to no veterans.
Hey, you got to pull up the star-spangled banner on your phone and take a knee. It's a veteran section. Barstool's giving tickets to veterans for this game, which is awesome. I ain't talking to no veterans.
Hey, you got to pull up the star-spangled banner on your phone and take a knee.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
And also light a firework.
Yes.
Both.
Something like that.
Just saying.
That is good.
Do you think we need shiny bald?
Shiny bald for the loser?
Shiny bald.
I will go.
Well, it will incentivize the fuck out of you to not lose that game.
I'm going to not come into work for the next week and just be in lessons, taking lessons.
I have been taking a lot of lessons.
Eskimo lessons.
Well, I got Nick Sky.
Something that happens immediately after the loss.
It would be funny if the person had to just get a tattoo of the Yak basketball roster.
No, you have to get the final score.
It's everybody's name in one and then something with zero.
You have to get a tattoo of the final score.
Box score, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll come up with something.
Wait, so when we did Yak basketball during Yak Idol,
they had a little bit different rules than us.
No, same rules.
They just stopped dribbling.
Right.
Well, I'm saying they embraced the fact there were no rules. Yeah. It was incredible. No, same rules. They just stopped dribbling. They embraced the fact there were
no rules. Yeah. It was incredible.
No, Nadeau did it too.
Nadeau just started running. He was the pioneer
of it, yeah. And then Clemmer took it to the next level.
Did he do the pioneer of the no dribbling? Yeah, I think so.
Can we pull up those highlights? Yeah.
His run was swag. It was
Rizzo.
Kyle's painting is getting so realistic.
I just turned around and it was like scandalized a little bit
by the realism
I don't call it good but
you can tell what he's going for
I'll say it
Sass's genitals have
Kyle's penis for Sass
is so realistic
I can't wait to see this
it was startling to me so this is what we'll see Penis for Sass is so realistic. Oh, I can't wait to see this.
Are those highlights back? It was startling to me.
So this is what we'll see.
Oh, good.
Damn, he is really good.
People were dribbling at first.
So early dribbling.
He looks like he can play.
Hey, Caroline.
There's another girl.
RC, I think, was good.
TJ just yelled at them.
John Rich.
Is that John Rich?
Yeah.
Look at his arms.
He's strong.
Nope.
And then the dude just bully ball.
Meow.
He was jogging down.
And he lowered his shoulder.
I guess the girls that he was playing against.
Catfish basketball.
Yeah.
His run is so funny.
It's so funny. You do change the game
He walks softly
Literally
He's like the forward pass
In the NFL
You know something
That girl Danny Jackal
She's the real deal
Yeah
That girl's the real deal
She knows exactly
What she's fucking doing
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
And I was
What made you realize that
She came in one day
And I talked to her about social media,
and she was like a fucking wizard.
Oh, yeah.
During Barstow Idol, I was walking into work,
and she just thought I was a person and tried to prank me, which sucked.
Yeah, she started dating you for six months.
You want my number?
I'm like, what?
Oh, you just think I'm like an ugly guy.
Yeah. Oh, you just think I'm like an ugly guy. She's somebody who, if she were to have a child,
I would be like, you're prepared for that.
I'm so excited.
I'm having the time of my life right now.
I underestimated KB's abilities.
I'm ready for work.
I was just shocked.
Should we go get another bottle?
We're running low.
I have this whistle pig written.
Oh, hell yeah.
Histle pig.
We're watching Yak basketball.
Let's ask go first.
Loser of Yak basketball has to get the box score tattooed.
I want to give an explanation.
I tried to do KB when we were in L.A.
and he was tan.
Then it got real bad, real quick.
Then I was like, I'm just going to make him fully black.
Then it just completely it's just
it's just
the original idea
pretty good
wait a minute
he looks like he's
a political prisoner
he has the black bag
over his head
that's a Guantanamo detainee
he's a detainee
no rights
none that took you 20 minutes harder than I expected it to be yeah this was really hard over his head. That's a Guantanamo detainee. He's a detainee. No rights. None.
That took you 20 minutes.
Yeah, this was really hard.
It's actually dope, though.
Wow, that's beautiful.
The cock is truly
artistic. It looks like a
rodent.
Is that his rash?
Why is he green?
It's like a comedian mask. It's like a Comedia mask.
It's like an old Italian painting.
Unbelievable.
It's like a Comedia dell'arte.
Are we raffling these or are we just hanging these up in the studio?
There's movement to that painting.
People are still drinking, right?
Like a Monet in Cheno.
Monet.
Are people still drinking?
Yeah, Kate.
Are you just saying that?
I have a cup right here.
Francis, you've got a long night of drinking ahead of you.
For what?
Francis has five shows at the stand tonight.
Five?
Five.
Holy shit.
I have one, and it's at one in the morning.
Damn.
At the stand, too?
It will probably get canceled.
What are you doing between?
Do you just stay there the whole time?
They're all like 30 minutes apart, 45 minutes apart.
Because they have the two, so you're going back and forth between the...
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
But he's there, so I have a buddy.
Yeah.
Which is really nice.
Last night was very fun.
Come check you out.
We had a fun time last night.
We had a good time.
I like the stand.
We were saying before, I miss going to comedy shows so much.
Could I have went?
My boys want to see you.
Could I have... Say it. I don't know. I don't really have much pull going to comedy shows so much. Could I have went? My boys want to see you.
Same.
I don't know.
I don't really have much pull on that.
There it is.
A little past tense.
We're doing so well.
No, you can't.
You cannot say, could I have went.
Can't say that.
Why?
Because it's incorrect.
What do you mean?
What do you say?
Could I have gone.
Ah, fuck.
My sense of to-go is gone.
I like the idea of Francis, like, drinking and then just becoming, like, a grammar Nazi. I'm pretty sure.
Are you confident on yours?
Why are you doing this?
You look like a complete dickhead.
Because I'm not on this show.
I like this. I think this is funny Because I'm not on this show. I like this.
I think this is funny.
I thought you were correcting me.
I said, yeah, could I have went hypothetically last night?
The reason I'm correcting you is because you're the only person that is good enough to not make that mistake.
Seasoning you.
I do it to you when I can, which isn't often.
I hold you to that standard.
I respect that. I also like it because whenever- I would say that to any of us right now. I would say which isn't often. I hold you to that standard. I respect that.
I also like it because whenever-
I would say that to any of us right now.
I would say it to you, too.
No, whatever.
You wouldn't say it to me.
Why doesn't went work?
You don't write anymore.
Yeah, but also, I like this because whenever someone corrects grammar, and I was convinced
that could I have gone- Wait, could I have went?
He said, could I have went?
And then the minute you say gone, it's like, oh, fuck.
Gone sounds better.
Yeah, I forgot that word existed.
It still sounds like it works.
90% sure.
Wait, Kyle, say it again.
Could I have went?
Ew.
Oh, what about like.
Oh, you said.
Did you go to college?
Oh, hell no.
But that's the type of speech that I have.
Yakima.
Dude, I got a notification at 1am
of that guy still arguing over Yakima.
He kept going.
We should just forfeit the match.
We give away that point you got.
I'm afraid of him.
Have you been DMing that guy?
No, I never did. I just saw that he was tweeting about it
for like 10 hours straight.
10 hours straight.
Francis, do you have any horror stories?
Yeah, I'd like a little spooky story.
Yeah, Maine.
It's Halloween.
Oh, Maine, yeah.
Yeah, the movie's in Maine.
Stephen King.
You want like scary?
No, I want real, like something that actually happened.
Well, I have grizzly.
I have grizzly stories. I have a story. Well, I have grisly stories.
I have a story. Quickly, I'll tell it.
I lived
on the water in
Port Main.
When I was 18 years old,
waiting on my child
to be born.
It was two weeks before
I was off to college.
I went down to our dock after a night of drinking with my friends.
And the tide was such that, like, you could typically then the dock and then like a long walkway so i was on the dock i was probably like
300 yards from the house and i'm on the dock hung over disoriented and i thought that based on how much water was up on the bank that I could dive into the water.
And we had this bucket.
It was like a paint bucket filled with cement attached via a chain to the dock meant to anchor the floating dock in place but typically it was if there were if it
was high tide it was submerged so you could you could not worry about it and um i i just didn't
read the water level right and i dove and the first part of my body to hit anything was the front of my skull hitting the edge of the cement horrifying oh my
god i have you know as soon as yeah and i i remember coming out of the water and first of
all i stood up and it was like only up to my between my knee and my waist. So instantly I was like, wow, there wasn't enough water to dive.
But I could actually see the blood shooting out of my forehead.
Like arcing, arcing as a stream.
As a stream, like an uninterrupted flow of distance.
The scar?
Yeah.
I'll show it to you. Went away, but. No, it's still yeah yeah i'll show it to you um went away but
sass sass said he had a scar the other day and said well it went away
i sure do dude i had a yeah oh yeah you ever think back about all yeah finish the story boy
um so i stood up and instantly knew what had happened and i started screaming because
i thought if i passed out hopefully someone would have heard me because i knew i was in the water
which was really dangerous and uh that that hopefully someone would come get me if I passed out and save my life. But then I managed to wade over to the dock
and pulled myself onto the dock,
and I was just yelling,
Mom, Mom, help, help, help.
How late was this?
This was like 10 a.m.
Oh, wow.
It was the exact same thing I said when I got in the car.
Yeah.
Mom, Mom, help, help.
If you had told your story with that as the end, we would have thought it was funny.
Yeah.
Just retell my story.
Yeah.
I'd like you to narrate.
So you had to go get stitches?
The neighbors came out.
They heard me, and they were like, what's wrong?
And I said, I hit my head.
I need help.
They said, do you need us to call an ambulance? And I was like,
I'm not sure. Probably.
How old were you? 18.
Okay. And then I...
This was already a dad. He was already a dad.
You were drunk.
That's you, Francis.
That's cute.
How immature of you.
Fucking nerd.
Yeah, why would you die when you have a son yeah no but uh i i then was like i gathered myself and was like all right can i can i walk up and i walked i guess i i walked up
i and i was still yelling at that point my neighbor had called my mom and i came up the steps
and got to the lawn just as my mom was coming out the front
and saw me and my my full my whole body was red from the blood I mean and and when I went back
later the the walkway which you know as I said was like 200 yards there was a a path like a just a darkened red blood stain that had no lapses it was it was a line try getting your
period honey i've tried we lost kate once just followed that found her she's cranky as hell
so we we called an ambulance i i went to the hospital. And the worst part of it was that when I was, they, you know,
numbed me up and did some whatever bullshit.
But they had to take the little pieces of gravel from the cement
that had lodged themselves in my skull.
And it felt like someone was dragging their nails down a chalkboard inside my head
i'm gonna throw up yeah being in the back of an ambulance sucks i'm eating
and i had bowls and all that bullshit anyway that was uh that's my horror story i loved mountain
biking as a kid i may have told this on the yak and uh i would i was uh i would go to like
different places mountain bike and uh i had a course in my backyard.
And I built this jump.
And I had to bail on the jump.
I was in eighth grade.
And I threw my bike down.
And I landed directly on the handlebars.
And they got stuck in my belly button.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
They thought I punctured my pancreas.
So me and the bike had to go in the back of the ambulance.
They popped it out.
Wait, wait, wait.
That's how in.
A kid died like two weeks before.
Yeah, there is a big story.
I remember someone...
Our area.
The handlebar
went into their stomach.
In our school, yeah.
And I had to miss
like a week of school.
But someone died
of internal bleeding.
Yeah.
No, I wasn't the one that died.
I had to be in the hospital
for two weeks
like on my back
just to make sure
it wasn't like
punctured and shit.
Wheeling, West Virginia.
The hospital is 50 miles away.
Holy shit.
One of the best hospitals in the...
It's a good hospital.
I was in
fifth grade, not even close to as
good of a story, but when I was in fifth grade
I was with some kid and we were biking
and they used to have... This kid lived right near our high school.
And there was this area that kids could drive onto the back of the parking lot of the high school.
But it was like – so they could steal parking and get into football games for free.
So they put these metal wires across that.
And I didn't see the wire.
And I biked straight into my neck and it whoa
ship yeah and then wait why did the kids do that they know they had the wire there so people
couldn't drive drive through oh my god and I didn't see the wire and I biked like as fast
I was going fast and I hit it neck first clothes lined off the bike and then the kid I was hanging
out with his parents were kind of like fucked up
and like i like went home i went back to his house and like there's this just massive gash
across my neck and he just like cleaned it didn't tell my parents my mom came picked me up the next
day and i just walk outside with this like fucking around my neck and she's like what the fuck
happened your mom especially yeah yeah they've been like half an hour haven't yeah yeah tell around my neck. And she's like, what the fuck happened? Your mom, especially.
Yeah.
Oh my God. Yeah.
They've been painting
for like half an hour,
haven't they?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell them.
Give them three more minutes
and then we'll be.
I think they've been painting
I will just say this.
I'm hammered.
Yeah,
I'm very drunk.
I'm dead sober.
Even Jay has done nothing.
I see,
I just looked at the canvas.
It's a white canvas.
The canvas is white.
I can't wait to see
what he's done.
I think he looked up
the Bob Ross wet technique where you paint the whole thing white first so you can blend it.
Yes, the canvas is white.
He definitely did.
Yeah, he definitely did.
He definitely looked that up.
He definitely looked that up.
Maybe this is like a blacklight thing where he's going to come up.
Yeah.
I hope so.
It's the reveal.
He's going to flip it upside down and it's going to be something else.
I wouldn't be shocked.
He's keeping it on the easel.
Wow.
Painting is infinitely harder than just drawing.
Yeah.
Why would anyone ever paint?
I'm glad you said that.
I went to art school, and everyone's giving me shit for it not being art.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You won a national championship in lacrosse at art school?
I won a national championship when I was—
What are you saying?
You won a national championship?
I played for Team Ontario, and it was a provincial tournament national stage,
so we played all the other teams.
Lacroze or Art?
Lacroze!
Hey, you sounded so average.
Oh, fuck.
And a weird combo.
So it was only like 12 teams.
Were you on the Ontario All-Star team, essentially?
This is bad.
I don't remember how many provinces.
There's territories.
13?
There's 13.
Can you name them?
Yes.
Can you name them, Fish?
Right now.
I think so.
I want to hear KB.
Oh, I want to hear Fish.
Fish is a Canadian.
I went to the provinces yesterday.
Oh, you did, Amal?
Yeah, wait.
No, no, no.
Fish?
Can you pass me some of those Fritos?
Do you know the provinces, Fish?
You're Canadian.
Newfoundland and Labrador.
Provinces and territories.
You know what?
My six-year-old could do this really well.
He knows the whole song.
There's a song for all of this stuff.
That was bound to happen.
Yeah.
Eat those.
Eat the ones off the floor.
13.
All right.
Newfoundland and Labrador.
New Brunswick.
PEI. Ontario. Quebec. New Brunswick. PEI.
Ontario.
Quebec.
Saskatchewan.
Manitoba.
Vancouver.
Vancouver, no.
British Columbia.
Oh, yeah, British Columbia.
Oh, damn. Okay, British Columbia.
That's the main city.
Northwest Territories. That's the main city. Northwest Territories.
That's the territory.
Yukon.
Saskatoon.
Nova Scotia.
Saskatchewan is the province.
Alberta.
Is that a city as well?
No, that's a province.
Alberta is a...
Is it a...
No snakes?
It's fine for me not to know.
Did I say New Brunswick?
Yeah, you did.
At the beginning?
Damn.
Did you say Yukon Territories?
I said Ontario, right?
Yeah, that's where I'm from.
Did you say Northwest Territories?
You found it?
No, he did not.
Yeah.
No, he said Northwest.
I did.
No, Northwest Territories.
That's the...
But that's a territory, not a province.
None of it.
What does he miss? Are you guys counting territories? You got them now. That's the territory, not a province. None of it. What did he miss?
Are you guys counting territories?
You got them now.
Wait, KB, you do it.
You just did them.
Because that was 11, and then two of those would have been...
Oh, yeah.
All right, I want to see them.
I didn't know there was 13.
I didn't either.
How crazy does shit get up there in the...
There's no way that...
The very top.
You know what? You know what?
You know what?
Most of the population of Canada lives within a 50-mile radius of the U.S. border.
Yeah.
It's all...
Pretty much, you draw a line along the U.S. border, the U.S. and Canada border, and most
people live there.
It's kind of funny, actually.
You'll see a lot of people travel to Toronto or something and say, like, oh, yeah, we're
going on a road trip.
Let's go to Vancouver.
And it's like, yeah, that's like a...
This, though... I want's go to Vancouver. And it's like, yeah, that's like a... This though, these places,
this is the habitable land
as sea levels rise.
That will be?
This is where people are going to have to go.
It's where India is going to have to go.
What?
When people are displaced because fucking...
Once that melts down, that trade route's going to be
so valuable, Canada's going to be a superpower so valuable, Canada's going to be a superpower.
Yeah.
Damn.
Canada's going to be a superpower.
That's sick.
Yeah.
We're going to...
I bet Canada and the U.S. are going to merge.
Yeah?
Might as well.
We got wheels to...
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
There's a big dispute with the U.S. and Canada.
I think that waterway, we want it to be international waters,
and they're saying it's theirs.
It would be very profitable if so.
You know something?
That whole trucker thing?
Ice road truckers?
Oh, the ice road.
Oh, no, not ice road truckers.
Oh, the...
Are you talking about ice road truckers?
Yeah, I thought he was.
The picket, the...
You're talking about the crab fishermen?
Most dangerous catch.
Dangerous catch. Yeah, dangerous catch is great. I like these. What are you? Dangerous catch. Dangerous catch.
Dangerous catch is great.
I like these.
What are you?
Deadliest catch.
Deadliest catch, Nick.
Truckers.
Dangerous and deadly, same thing.
We're talking about
protest.
Fisherman.
What are we talking about?
Deadliest catch.
She's talking about
the deadliest catch.
Yeah, fisherman.
She's talking about
the deadliest catch.
We're getting
Brittany Griner home.
Yeah.
No, the protest from the...
That would be a good video if you went and did it.
Yeah.
You should do it.
Have you seen the movie Argo?
What, Go-Kart?
Have you seen the movie Argo?
Are you talking about the Argonauts?
No, no, the movie Argo where the...
Are you talking about the football you got?
No, it's a series of people that pose as a film crew in a...
No, no, no.
I think people should pose as a film crew
and then go get birded around. Oh, that would be good.
Let's do the movie Argo.
So what were you saying about truckers?
The Canadian truckers did their protest.
Yeah. That was a
dude's rock moment. It revealed
that Canada had
their...
They weren't this
universal healthcare, everyone's nice country that we all thought they were. They were just honking their horns? had their, they weren't this like universal health care,
everyone's nice country that we all thought they were.
They were just honking their horns?
No, it just revealed that they had some MAGA type people too,
which we needed to hear.
It just leveled the playing field a little,
which I was happy about.
I thought it was just a dude's rock,
because they basically were like,
let's take our big trucks and just block the highway.
It's rock.
Is that what it was?
I don't even know what.
I have to be honest with you guys.
I've never read a single story about it.
Are you talking about when they blockaded the-
Yeah.
They just honked their horns all night?
I think a lot of that was because of the essential workers.
I think it was during the time of COVID when it was like...
The yak policy?
Now Roan has done less than Che.
Do you erase?
No, they're just both kind of nothing.
And I don't know how because it's been so long.
I watched Che stare at his canvas for like five minutes.
Neither of them?
Cube of marble.
It's been 30 minutes.
Neither of them, when I tell you, neither of them has done anything. It's been 30 minutes Like neither of them When I tell you
Neither of them
Has done anything
Chase holding his brush
Sideways
Somehow neither of them
Has done anything
I'm just saying
I think you guys
Are all hammered
They really haven't
Been going for that long
It feels like forever
Really
It's been a little bit
In like
In a little fucking bit
Wait a minute
No
I want Francis
To play Family Feud
I do as well
Oh yeah
Alright so let's
Spin the wheels Get those out of the way Then Francis plays Family Feud. I do as well. All right, so let's spin the wheels, get those out of the way,
then Francis plays Family Feud, then we get the paintings.
Yep.
And since you guys are on the show, Fish and Francis,
implicate it if we get acrylic nails.
We need it so bad.
Oh, that sucks for everyone.
We need it so bad.
I guess we've got to spin again.
Yeah, we do have to spin all the time.
Fast, eat those Fritos.
I'm eating Fritos off the floor.
Family Feud sounds like me in the floor. Is there plain chips?
Just plain?
Oh, because last time
I bought plain chips
it was the crime
of the century.
You can eat them.
I'm just not going to.
Ew, no.
Don't do that.
Don't eat in my face.
Shh.
I'm impressed.
Would you say you still had a pretty traditional college experience, Fish?
Absolutely, yeah.
I managed a rap group, remember?
Yeah, it's traditional.
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All right, we got to finish it off, probably.
Are they done?
I mean, Roan has done nothing.
I love Roan.
He's done nothing.
Are you starting to love him less?
A little bit.
I kind of hate him now. I kind of think, what a bad human being.
Paint so slow.
Francis, is it not as good anymore?
It sort of was a bell curve.
Like it went up and then it went down. Horseshoe theory.
Brandon looks like a toddler.
Done with finger painting.
Look, he's got it on his nose.
Wait, can I say something about our merch?
This had green all over the front of it.
I took it in the bathroom, a little bit of cold water.
It's clean as a button now.
It's made of plastic.
Just spray a little bleach on this.
Any Yash listeners give you any shit?
Any guff?
Brandon, just pour the rest of the bottle in here.
Maybe fish a little.
No, fish.
Don't listen to any guff.
No guff.
People, listen. On Friday, we're having fun. We're drinking Hennessy. This fish a little. Oh, fish. Don't listen to any guff. No guff. People, listen.
On Friday, we're having fun.
We're drinking Hennessy. This is a fun Friday.
There's some people who probably
hate their job, and I feel bad for them, but
they're just looking to be mean to someone.
So they'll be mean to you guys for no reason.
Who cares?
You don't even have to listen to them.
You're going to be okay.
I'm okay. I have to give you this speech, sass.
I'm okay.
One thing that someone wrote out a long DM to me about why I didn't fit in on the app.
What?
He was like, you don't get it because it's blue-collar people listening to this show.
A couple of blue-collar guys over here.
Every day is how we help get around.
I was like, dude, what fucking blue collar job allows
you to listen and comment
in real time
on a podcast? Well, I mean, we do have
blue collar listeners, so shout out that. I know
that, but you can't drive
a forklift and watch this show
at the same time. I actually
think our listeners probably could.
Not well. Not well.
They would probably kill someone. They're sitting on beams, they told us.
Yeah.
Get a guy, come in.
There was a...
Eating sandwiches.
I get like 15 of those DMs every single day.
For the last two years.
I'm not really that upset.
Frankly, everyone loves a victim.
I was saying this to you earlier.
It's fun to be a victim.
Yeah, your sympathy grifting like Stu. Yeah. Stu was saying this to you earlier. It's fun to be a victim. Yeah, you're sympathy grifting like Stu.
Yeah.
Stu Feiner just constantly saying he's going to retire.
I just don't want you to be afraid to come on the show.
I like having you on.
Yeah.
Same old fish.
Fish.
I think I've found my groove here today.
This is really drinking and I don't want to talk too much.
I shouldn't talk too much.
That's where the-
What if nobody else is?
Nah, we got plenty of people.
Share the ball.
I like to give a shout out to all the lady acts out there.
Yeah.
I get them in my DMs all the time.
I had a lady 10X me on the street the other day.
Ain't no way.
Hell yes.
Which I don't think I told you guys about.
I was walking to the train at Penn Station.
She kind of lurched.
She went like this.
And I was like, ah.
And she was like, 10X.
And I was like, oh.
Hell yeah. I love, this is for the was like, ah, and she was like, 10x. And I was like, oh, hell yeah.
I love, this is for the Lady Akers.
Kate, is that all whiskey?
Brandon poured this.
Is that all whiskey?
I'll tell you what,
I'm going to Philly this weekend.
Philly's coming out.
Oh, yeah.
Tell you what.
Fuck yeah.
Let me tell you what.
I'm just saying,
I'm going to Philly for the weekend.
I'm going to the Eagles game. I'm going to watch the game tomorrow, the Phillies game. Tonight, I'm watching saying I'm going to Philly for the weekend I'm going to the Eagles game
I'm going to watch the game tomorrow
Tonight I'm watching it here
And someone has to be fortified against Tico
You're staying here for the game tonight
Yes
You can take a little nap
I'm going home to put my son to bed
You're totally fine
But I'll be back
You are going home?
I feel like I should.
Well, maybe not now.
I felt, before I felt like I should.
Yeah, I feel like you probably don't.
Probably not.
Yeah, probably not.
Just hang out and sleep and drink that whole thing.
Probably.
I'm just going to go put my son to bed.
Let me tell you about parenting.
So young.
Tell me.
Do we have their paintings?
Are we finished?
All right, what's the other wheel we got to spin?
Jay is done.
We got to do Yak Parlay.
Yak Parlay.
And then Francis.
Roan has still done that.
Yeah, Francis got to do Family Feud.
One game, one game.
I bet you he makes it to Fast Money.
Guy like him.
I can see Francis not being great at it, to be honest.
I don't know.
Yak Parlay, by the way, negative money so far this year.
I saw someone be like, I bet Big Cat didn't get better.
I bet it every week.
The one week that I did win, it was the only bet I did win that weekend.
So, thank God.
I had that big week that same week, and then I lost every single bet since then.
That's how it works.
Like, small bets.
Shouldn't have gone tout.
We always get the worst fucking bets.
I know. I know. But the NFL wasn't good this year. Yes always get the worst fucking I know.
But the NFL wasn't good this year.
Nobody should watch.
No.
You should watch Nick
on the pro football football show.
Yes.
Last time I was on the Yak and we did this
it was the week that it hit.
Oh.
Under. I like this under.
I love this under.
I'm in love with this under.
This is a great under.
I'm going to smash it.
Nick on the Pro Football Football Show Sunday.
Barstool Sports Advisors coming out 7 p.m. tonight.
And then we have two shows tomorrow, college football show,
live from Penn State at 10 a.m.
And then live from Ann Arbor at 5.30 p.m.
I tried to tell Dion to take the Ravens yesterday.
He did.
And I looked down and said, Dion, I see the game differently.
He didn't listen.
He never does.
No, he's bad with that.
Bears-Cowboys.
Bears-Cowboys.
I'm bad with that.
Wow, I love this over.
I love that over. Listen, pal. Wow, I love this over. I love that over.
I love this over already.
That is weird.
I've had all of these booked for weeks.
Yeah, yeah.
Sass does his over-unders.
He does every week of the season.
You know what it is?
Eagles.
Eagles.
What are you rooting for here, Nick?
Probably the under. Eagles. What are you rooting for here, Nick? Probably the under.
Okay.
You got to go over.
Probably, yeah.
Eagles are...
But I could also root for the over if need be, luckily.
Under.
I'm going to be honest.
I don't like the under here at all.
This is a pretty solid parlay.
I hate that under.
I don't have it on my card.
I hate that under.
Okay.
Titans-Texas under. Bears-Cowboys over. Steelers-Eagles under. I don't have it on my card. I hate that under. Okay. Titans, Texas is under.
Bears, Cowboys over.
Steelers, Eagles under.
Arsenal Sportsbook, check it out.
It'll be boosted.
We're one in six.
I think we're actually right around even money.
When we hit it, it was like plus 600.
It was plus 600.
I want this boosted to plus 4,500.
Okay.
I like those odds.
I love those odds. What do you got KB?
He just probably found a went
No he got one upped or none upped
What?
Someone said the same story
That Francis told about the diving
He did the same thing
And then he's a quadriplegic now
Dude so I was gonna say
That was what I was going to say,
because I thought that was what we were talking about is near misses.
You can go through your life, and like anyone who –
I hate anyone who's successful or gets to a point in life
and just forgets that luck does exist.
Like you have lucky moments, whether it be professionally, private,
whatever it may be.
I once dove – Madison's an Isthmus, so it's
two lakes. We lived a block from the
lake. We used to go swimming in the
August, in the summer, and then
the first couple weeks of the school year.
And I once, we did a diving
contest. We were drunk. I dove.
I did a high dive
and my shoulder hit
the fucking ground.
That's how close I was to having
everything change.
That was such a near miss.
A highlight reel of your 10 closest misses that you
had no idea.
For some reason I had twisted
when I dove so it easily
could have been my head and my shoulder literally hit
the bottom.
That's just luck.
I just got lucky that day. I've been, and I was like, that's just luck. I just got lucky that day.
I've been told, and I...
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry, you guys
are just standing there.
You're drinking.
Alright, Steven. So I did a
play on Adam with
apples, but I have him wearing a Philly's hat, and I've
got a little bird's tattoo on the wing.
Oh, but he pukes! I also gave you a lot of pubes.
I don't know.
That's a great painting.
Jay, good painting.
Hey, that's good, man.
Maybe a tattoo is possible, but manscaping was not, so you just have a mane of pubic hairs.
Is this chest hair of the Eagles?
Yeah, it's the Eagles' wings.
Whoa! He's got wings on the
front.
I feel like if you had to choose where to get wings
tattooed, that would almost be the last
spot. That's chest hair
though, right? No, it's the Eagles' wings.
That looks like the creation of man finger
touching.
Anyone here Catholic?
And I will raise you up
on me.
You're not Catholic. You told me you don't believe in God.
That's fucked.
You renounced God last week.
That's the only song that could have went mainstream.
You guys know Gloria?
Here we go.
Gloria was a banger.
Oh, this is beautiful.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Giselle, no.
And a hay bud from season two.
And a big pink cock.
No way.
That shit is pink as hay bud.
Look at the fucking glasses are the best.
You nailed his glasses.
Does Tom Brady have a shadow behind him?
Yeah, yeah, that's his shadow.
He just zoomed in there.
That's so awesome.
He's making a stinky cloud behind him.
I don't know why, but you're just
nailing Steven's glasses.
Zoom in on Steven's glasses.
The only characteristic.
Hey, bud.
Let's get my cock sucked by your wife.
Yeah.
That's a good jab.
So good.
Good jab.
Very topical.
You should send that to the Bucks team facility.
Yeah, we should.
He puts the top in topical.
I think we should either put them up or we'll auction them.
Yeah, we got to auction them.
Yeah, yeah.
Perfect.
I think just hanging them up.
Yeah, I think we should hang them up.
Giselle, no.
Giselle, no.
Oh, boy.
You guys finished the head?
We should also, actually, you know what we should do?
Can we save them somewhere?
We should get, like, a high-res picture of all six.
Eight?
That would be cool on the back of a shirt.
Make it a poster or something.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Or an AIDS quilt.
Yeah. Maybe we support AIDS. Sell it as a
poster for Black Friday.
That would be cool. Or Black History Month.
Oh, no. You know what we need to do?
Let's take a picture and let's make it an extra
insert in the calendar.
So it's like an extra
it's a free month.
Let's make up a new month. Let's add a month.
You know what? It's almost Movember, it's a free month. Because you probably don't want to. Hey, let's make up a new month. Let's add a month. Yeah. You know what?
It's almost Movember, which is for men's health,
testicular health.
Yeah, and I hate it.
With all the penises involved, I feel like it would be that much.
Nice try.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Oh.
You could have said anything, and I would have made that sound.
Men's health. Until.
Okay.
Should we end the show?
Oh, you want to play Family Feud real quick?
Yeah, one game with Francis. One game of Family Feud and then we'll end the show.
He might clear the board.
Yeah, let's go.
We did finish the bottle.
Yeah, we did.
Well, you finished the bottle.
I can't finish the bottle.
We got to stream in four and a half hours. It's like, damn, good work, everyone. I can't believe you finished the bottle. I can't finish the bottle. We got to stream in four and a half hours.
It's like, damn, good work, everyone.
I can't believe you finished the bottle.
I have one thing, too, to end the show with.
Okay.
Just make sure I don't forget.
Troop.
All right, Francis, you're up against G Sexton.
Oh, I'm playing against someone? Yeah. All right, Francis, you're up against G Sexton. Am I playing against someone?
Yeah.
All right, Francis.
Oh, fuck.
TV went out.
All right, name something you might see at a Chinese New Year celebration.
Okay, fireworks.
Fireworks.
Wait, someone's got to type it in.
Who's typing?
Boys.
And it's like tilted?
What's going on with that tilt?
I'm tripping.
I'm fucked up.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Come on, Francis.
Keep going.
40 seconds more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Six.
Parade.
Parade.
Parade.
Parade.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Oh.
Okay.
Tide game.
Chinese New Year celebration.
Fuck. Would you like to phone a friend? no no got this um i'm gonna i'm gonna say uh 16 seconds money money good answer no way phone a friend can i phone a
friend no pig we're gonna drag say dragon dragon, dragon. Oh, we're not going to get it off in time?
Oh.
He beat you 85 to 47.
Wow.
You got sparks.
Sparks, people.
Yep.
Lights.
It's true, people.
Yeah.
I didn't like that one.
It sucked.
Yeah, people.
You can still get the win.
You're still going to get the win.
How would they say Chinese?
You get to steal from him now?
All right, here we go.
Give me a specific word that scares men.
Pregnant.
Yes.
Inner city.
Glitter is.
Pregnance one.
Okay.
Let's say.
Fuck.
Is putting the toilet seat down one word because you guys are terrifying
there's no way the beef puts the toilet seat down
or he pisses all over the seat
he actually sprinkles his pubes on it
I have one for you if you'd like help
commitment
yeah there we go Relationship stuff. I have one for you. Commitment. Commitment.
Yeah, there we go.
Love.
Love.
Words.
Love.
Nice.
Spiders.
What's number one?
What are you all afraid of?
Pregnant love.
It's all this bullshit.
Field trips. Yeah Yeah field trips
I waited until you were done
Field trips
Housework, alimony, marriage
Oh
You knew that Seth
I did but you told me not to give
Francis any answers
A little bit but you need this round
Here we go
Round three triple triple points.
Name a board game a family might play together.
Monopoly.
Yes, good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
82.
Nice.
I would also say, like, sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
No, that's a good answer. Oh, well, you didn't do the exclamation point, so. Oh, Scrabble. Sorry. Sorry. No, that's a good answer.
Oh, well, you didn't do the exclamation point, so.
Oh, Scrabble, Scrabble.
Family feud, perhaps.
Oh, Scrabble.
Okay.
Checkers is basically.
Trouble.
No, not checkers.
Life.
Oh.
Why would you put checkers in?
Hitler.
Checker.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler.
Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Scrabble.
Taboo.
Life.
Life.
Yes!
Did he win?
He won.
Fast money.
It's only one answer per question.
Francis, one answer.
The best answer per question.
Tip of the iceberg. Are we all out? No The best answer per question. Tip of the iceberg.
Are we all allowed to talk?
Tip of the iceberg. What is a tongue? Name something you hope never
crashes into your home. Airplane.
Yeah. Could have went with car.
Could have gone with. Something people deliver
for a living. Food. Food.
Mail. Mail. Mail. Mail.
Mail is good. Besides
books, name something you find in a library.
Libraries.
Movies.
Movies.
Oh, perverts I would have gone with.
Hold on.
Name something you try to avoid when camping in the woods.
Snakes.
Snakes.
Great answer.
No, bears.
Bears.
Oh, all right.
Let's see.
I disagreed with everyone.
I did.
Number one answer, iceberg.
Number one answer.
I agree with that one.
Plain.
Number one answer.
Mail.
28. Newspapers. Mail. 28.
Newspapers.
No.
Magazines.
No.
It's magazines.
Snakes.
Bears.
I said bears.
Magazines.
Job.
You won.
Let's see what the final score is.
Am good.
13-18.
Am good.
A damn. A damn. Amgood. Ah, damn!
Ah, damn!
I beat him?
Yeah, you beat him.
You beat that black guy?
Yeah, you beat the black guy.
You beat him.
Actually, his name was G. Saxton.
Saxton.
Saxton.
Avatar was African-American.
Yes.
I don't know if it was American or not.
DJ, what do you have?
You're absolutely right about that.
So the graphics department has been sending a bunch of shit our way, basically, for new stuff.
Okay.
So they sent this for Halloween.
But I went as a hot dog one year, and I was with one of my buddies.
We were really young, and he was some weird explorer.
I don't even know what the show was.
Some random-ass show, and he was a character from that.
We opened the door. We're trick or treating.
The lady looks at him and
instantly is like, oh my god, you're
blah, blah, blah from this random kids
show. And then she looks at me and she goes, what are you?
I remember this story.
And I'm a massive hot dog.
My head is like
a hot dog.
I didn't make it it It's a real costume
She's like
What are you supposed to be
That's awesome
Hot dog
Hot dog
That's good
That's awesome
I loved that
That's actually exactly
What it looked like
Exactly
Yeah
They can
They're gonna start
Making a bunch of those
That's awesome
Yeah that was great work
That was great
Yeah my buddy was
Crocodile Dundee
And I was a hot dog And the lady looks at him And goes Oh you was Crocodile Dundee, and I was a hot dog.
And the lady looks at him and goes, oh, you're Crocodile Dundee.
This must be a kielbasa?
A bratwurst?
Yeah, what are you?
There's a lot of tubed meats, really.
Yeah, and she was like, what the fuck is that?
Italian sausage?
You're going to have to explain this one.
Huge shout out to Fish for being such a good sport.
Yes!
Shout out, Fish.
Oh, he's not here.
We don't have to –
I know.
He's definitely going to get fired from his job for drinking for two hours.
We should be editing.
Every week.
I can subscribe.
See you on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
Come out to Penn State in Ann Arbor if you are in either city.
Totally. It's the act. That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees pop.
It's the act.
It's the act.