The Yak - Hot Dog Day Gets Incredibly Weird | The Yak 12-14-22
Episode Date: December 14, 2022Chopsticks for a hot dog?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Uh-oh.
We should try that once.
We should just do the intro thing for like 58 minutes.
I would like that.
And then just come in for two minutes.
The first comment starts at 58.
Yeah.
That would be awesome.
Hello, Yak.
Yak, huge moment.
I guess our graphic already ruined it.
I thought we were going to do a big reveal.
It's a reveal of a new flavor.
New flavor, but look at the graphic.
Oh, man.
Oh, dang.
Get rid of that.
Oh, all right.
Forget you saw that.
New Four Loco flavor out right now.
Correct, Steven?
Might be the Four Loco people right here. This is awesome. They have trusted? Might be the four local people right here.
This is awesome. They have
trusted us to reveal the new flavor.
Drumroll, please.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Sour Cosmic Punch!
He gave us four local
shoulder koozie.
Yeah.
I'm going to have mine right now.
Wow.
Okay.
I think this is a perfect time for you.
To bring back the B.
To bring back the B.
The B.
New Four Loko and Warhead Sour Cosmic Punch. The most sour Four Loko yet.
Straight from outer space to a store near you.
This is from outer space.
Holy shit.
Stephen Che actually saw shipment being dropped off a few weeks ago near Newark Airport.
Yeah.
Is that true?
We love Four Loko.
Wouldn't that be so funny if that whole thing was like-
That would be awesome.
That was all Four Loko, Stephen that be so funny if that whole thing was like that would be awesome that was all Four Loko
Steven
way to almost ruin it
we love Four Loko
and have for years
and Warheads
I have loved Four Loko
for years
and Warheads
are such a fun treat
even now we'll have them
in the office
from time to time
and they're the ultimate sour
so this is a combo
we're really excited about
but get it now
as it may get abducted
by aliens soon.
I love Four Loko.
Someone should probably drink some Four Loko at our Christmas special.
Mix that in with the nog.
Ooh, Four Loko nog.
Sour nog.
I actually love Four Loko because it's one of those brands that I just need it to exist.
You know what I mean?
I need Four Loko to exist in the world.
I need people to be able to enjoy their Four Loko.
Warheads, Sour Cosmic Punch.
Fuck yes.
What a combo.
Like, I wish we could have sat in the meeting
at Four Loko headquarters when they're like,
what about Warheads, Sour cosmic punch from outer space.
Yeah.
Fun.
That was actually the mind of Thomas Edison that they're keeping alive there.
Oh, man.
Four Loko rules.
Have you ever cracked out a Four Loko at a party?
Oh, it's the best.
Party starter.
People get wild.
Yeah.
Four Loko, I would put into not only a good brand in general, but one of those nostalgia
brands, too.
Yeah. to not only a good brand in general, but one of those nostalgia brands too.
Yeah.
Where it's like, I just like seeing it.
I'm just like, yeah, for loco.
Is that an Andy Capps hot fries for me?
Oh, I love Andy Capps hot fries so much.
The only problem is that you get them all over your hands.
That's my go-to.
That's a good thing.
You can lick your fingers.
Ew.
COVID, bro?
I don't care.
They're my fingers.
They're your fingers.
Give yourself COVID Sure
And what's the ABV is that a
13.9
How come you didn't bring
Four locos for the boys over here
That's perfect
I'll be sure to get on that
Check it out
Check it out
Check it out
Uh oh
I would have pounced on this
I'm a big percentage guy
Yeah you love the percentages.
It's alcohol, and it's hard to get that 13 range from a standard.
Beer? Nah.
I was doing the double dogs.
The worst gut pain in my life.
Yeah, you'll be shitting pitch black.
That or a Chimay.
Pitch black poop.
Looks like the shadow of a turd.
I had a pitch blacker the other day.
A pitch blacker?
Oh, yeah.
That's probably just due to blood.
Hot wings? That was Guinness. Oh, yeah. That's probably just due to blood. Hot wings?
That was Guinness.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Hot wings every once in a while turn me lime green.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Peptobismol.
You ever the peptobismol shits?
Oh, what's that?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
If it could be darker than pitch black.
Yeah.
Really, it's like Vantablack, that paint.
Sharpie.
Bold.
Have you ever had the vitamins that make your piss like neon?
Oh yeah
Yeah, that's fun too
Yeah, that's scary
And fun
It's fun, yeah
Because you know
You know, but you also are like, ugh
Yeah
Am I dying?
I don't look at my poop
You don't look at your poop?
What?
You have to look at your poop
I never look at my poop
Oh, that's weird
That's one of the main indicators of health
Every time I sit down, I make sure I know where the...
Oh, dude, you're wrong.
You're wrong.
Oh, yeah, you're wrong.
As soon as it hits the water, I'm flushing.
No, I actually thought about this a lot.
I don't know how I could ever go with pooping and not looking at the poop.
I can't.
Yeah, it's basically a doctor's visit.
It's a doctor's visit.
I mean, you don't go to the doctor.
Also, you don't want to see what just came out of your body?
No, I don't.
Oh, sometimes I'm depressed.
I flush it every time.
I love seeing it.
A little boy like me produced all that?
I know.
Like one where you have it lose itself in the tunnel and still break the water?
Oh, yeah.
Nick, you ain't even shitting, dude.
Whoa, whoa, Jerry.
Jerry.
Hey, Jerry.
A little fired up.
What happened?
I placed a wager this morning on the Barstool Sportsbook, and it was 500 to win 6,000.
Jeez.
And it says France to win after being a goal behind.
Oh.
So I'm under the assumption, okay, if Morocco scores first and then France wins the games, I win the bet.
Yeah.
Wrong.
Why?
What do you mean?
I've just been informed this, by the way.
If France ties it up 1-1 and they win on penalties, I lose.
Oh, no, that's not winning.
That is.
That makes sense.
They have to win in the 90s.
That's soccer betting.
Jerry, they still are.
They're good.
You put $500 on that?
That's a ludicrous probability, right?
Yeah, it's to win $6,000.
Plus $1,100.
$500?
Yeah, I mean, this is Jerry.
He's a big game hunter.
Yeah.
To be down one and then come back to win in soccer?
Yeah.
Yeah, that could happen.
That'd be like 2%.
No.
Really?
Well, in this one, I mean, I just don't know that there's a world where France is going
to fall behind.
That's the hardest part.
I think if France, if Morocco scores first, you have the best bet in the world.
You're going to win the money.
Well, not really, because I've just been informed if it goes to extras or penalties, I lose
the bet.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a fact.
It's a 90-minute best soccer bet.
No, that's wrong.
No, that's not wrong.
I needed Westy on the phone.
They're not giving it to me.
Westy, you're going to do it.
You elevated your issue?
I want the money back.
This is soccer betting.
This isn't in parentheses or anything, though.
Yeah, it is.
Definitely.
No, it's not.
Jerry, we're four weeks into the World Cup.
You should have known this in week one.
I don't bet soccer ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I've been on a losing streak big time,
and I finally got a bet that I was going to win,
and I realized I picked the guy for any time scoring as first scoring.
Oh.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Did he score?
He ended up scoring?
He scored within the first five minutes, but someone else already scored.
The only thing worse than that is when you think you picked first scorer
and he scores and you don't get the money and you're wondering why
you actually picked him to score last touchdown.
Well, the Moroccans, they're the best defensive
people in the country. Terrific defensive team.
Or when Hank thought that he had
T.J. Watt first scorer. That was crazy.
Who did he have? Oh, yeah. He thought for like
100-1 and he scored a touchdown.
T.J. Watt, on defense, scored a touchdown
and then he realized he had Derek Watt.
The fullback.
That's devastating.
That just says win, Dan.
I broke the news to him in that, and I felt bad.
I should have.
Yeah, you did.
I should have let him go.
You were the first one that caught on.
I should have let him know.
You did.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know gambling etiquette.
That's why I'm afraid of doing streams.
Yeah.
Well, Frank doesn't either.
It should be a class.
What's the fear?
Well, this is stealers to win
the all right don't be going through my bed that's not good jerry
their futures you guys see the uh frank the tank clip this morning speaking of uh kfc radio has
that new game out am i the asshole yep and they had frank play it and he did not get the point
of the game whatsoever he did he eventually caught on but tj if you could pull that up it is it's an all-time frank
clip not all time but it's a good frank clip did you see its ass i did not know i haven't seen it
all right when it's my turn to order pizza for game night i always get pineapple on it
everyone else hates it but it's not like it's hard
to pick off the pineapple.
Who's the biggest asshole?
Who's the biggest asshole?
Right now, I would say there's a lot of
contenders.
One I would definitely say is
Chris Collinsworth.
He read the card.
And then the biggest asshole in that situation was Chris Collinsworth.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, it's good.
He is a predator, isn't he?
I think there's a clip.
Oh, yeah, I saw that clip.
There's just a clip of him talking about how, like, the high school girls love him.
No, there's a little deeper than that.
Oh, I don't know.
Said he likes women dumb because he could take advantage of them.
Yeah, yeah, he does.
It's in the same clip.
That's a pretty good point.
Oh.
Okay, Brad.
We get some hot dogs going, Steven?
I want Jerry to eat a hot dog.
I just ordered a hot dog.
Oh, well, we have hot dogs we're making on the grill.
Oh, nice. I wish I didn't order. I wish you a hot dog. Oh, well, we have hot dogs we're making on the grill. Oh, nice.
I wish I didn't order.
I wish you didn't either.
I also wish you didn't make that bet.
Well, if France wins and it goes to penalties, I'm going to, I don't know if I can control myself.
What are you going to do, Jerry?
This is on you.
I mean, I might bash the sports book.
Oh, no.
They should have parentheses is what I'm saying
I think they probably was
It wasn't you just looked at it
Whatever
Can't win in this league
No it's tough to win in this league that's a fact
You guys see I'm on my wonka shit today
I did not
What do you mean you're on your wonka shit
I'm on my wonka shit I'm giving out golden mugs for PS5s.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
If you go buy Stow Blue Coffee today, you get automatically entered, and you may win
a PS5 with a golden mug.
Always wanted to send out something like that.
Yeah, that's cool.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I'm going to get on my Wonka shit.
So you're giving away five of them?
Five.
Have you guys ever won a contest?
Nope.
No. Oh, I did, actually. A wrap of them. Five. Have you guys ever won a contest? Nope. No.
I did, actually.
A wrap, too, yeah.
That's only two.
Nope, that's five.
One, two, three, four, five.
You got them standing up.
I didn't see it.
What did you think?
I just thought they were cereal boxes or something.
Or coffee boxes.
Oh.
Those big white things that look like PS5s?
They look like coffee boxes.
You know, when you're buying a box of coffee
Look at that walk of shit
Oh yeah
Feeling good
Now how do you determine the winners though?
Is it you picking them or
No it's random
That's cool
That's awesome
Totally random
It'd be funny if Stu doesn't win a PS5 or
Yeah
Spence
Was they hard to get?
Yes Extremely hard What a big fail by PlayStation win a PS5 or a... Yeah. Expense. Were they hard to get? Yes.
Extremely hard.
What a big fail by PlayStation.
I know.
It makes no sense.
Like me, I'm still rocking the PS4, and there's no reason to get a PS5 because no one has
them.
I finally got one a couple weeks ago.
I was at the Best Buy on Black Friday, and they had some on the counter.
I said, are those...
Can I buy that?
And they said, yeah.
And I just bought it.
How do they not have enough?
How long has it been out?
It's been out for a while.
Probably two years.
They were saying upstairs they had to use five different credit cards.
Because if you buy one with one, they won't let you buy another one.
Yeah, you got to be on those websites where they drop the clues.
It's crazy.
Super bizarre.
Very weird.
I don't think I've ever even seen one in real life.
Really?
Yeah.
There's one in the game. There's one in the game.
There's one in the game.
You've never been in there?
No.
They're enormous.
Yeah.
They're huge.
You have one, Jerry?
I got it when it came out, but I was going to get another one for a friend of mine, and
a different friend of mine tried to hustle me on one.
What do you mean?
I was going to fuck off, and we haven't been friends since.
What happened?
He tried to charge me like $1,200.
I'm like, dude,
I went to high school with you, bro. Right.
You can't give it to me.
Make $250 profit. I don't care, but you're trying to make like $400 off me?
And you don't charge him anymore? Nope.
Debted him. Wow. How much are
they? How much are they like retail?
Retail is like $599.
That's crazy. But I got the
God of War Ragnarok Edition.
Damn, really?
What does that mean?
It's a game.
God of War is big.
Does it just come with the game?
Yeah.
Yeah, they always are giving up.
I think God of War is the game that Stu gave my son.
Stu gave my son a PS5 when he was one and a half years old.
People love that game.
Apparently it's really good.
I got the PS4 Battlefront Edition. Star Wars Battlefront. I wish I had time to game. Apparently it's really good. I got the PS4 Battlefront edition.
I wish I was.
Star Wars Battlefront.
I wish I had time to game.
Yeah.
I miss that shit so much.
You got to find the time, brother.
But I think I missed the learning curve on new games.
I stopped playing at Xbox 360.
And then if I'm out of friends and he has something, I can't do it.
Too fast.
I have to look at the controller.
People move weird.
Yeah.
I missed the ship.
Damn.
People only play so many games now.
I think there's only like three games.
We used to play. There was Infinite. We would play them all.
My new ones.
I only hear about like six different ones.
I don't know if you guys are big in the scene.
I'm not. There's a lot of games.
It's all first person shooters.
Some people play Fortnite still.
Seriously? Yeah. What about Fall Guys?
I'm sure people still play
Fall Guys. Yeah, that was fun.
I still play Grand Theft Auto.
The hype dies down, but people still play them.
Grand Theft Auto is so much fun. Grand Theft Auto is
one of the best games ever created. Can we watch a pullover video?
Please.
Whatever that is when they role play
is amazing. The best. It amazing the best it's the best so funny
cherry you should do that i usually pick up the strippers yeah yeah as a cop no just regular
you can pick up the prostitutes you were more than strippers then you'd see the car rocking
that was so funny and then you kill them right after. Yep, get your money back. You gotta kill him, yeah. I was allowed to play GTA 3, but it had to be on mute.
I remember my parents got me the game,
and then my mom was cleaning the basement,
and she found the case with the disc,
and she flipped it over and looked at the rating,
and read it, and she was like,
what is this game?
Because it has graphic ability.
No.
Not even at Chaz's.
Chaz's cousin.
Oh.
Yeah, he was a little older.
You have a cousin named Chaz?
What's his last name?
Savage.
Oh my God, yeah.
Chaz Savage?
That's a cool guy.
That's a nice name.
It's an unbelievable name.
My whole family was...
Yeah, your mom's maiden name is Savage.
Savage is great.
They own like a concrete plant, don't they?
Amongst other things.
So you're a long line of savages?
Pretty long, yeah.
Wow.
Where's Roan?
I don't know where Roan is.
Oh, yeah.
That was a good clip from the Pat Bev podcast.
Which one?
I think Pat Bev was upset at Gilly.
Oh, yeah, they're going back and forth right now.
About what?
I don't know.
I think Pat Bev got mad because Gilly said,
it's not like Pat Bev's going to drop 40.
Which, I mean, is pretty accurate.
You never know.
Yeah, you never know.
I mean, what are the odds of Pat Bev dropping 40?
It'd be like Morocco scoring first and then France.
Just going to say that.
Going back.
It's not that crazy.
An extra time.
Jerry, I might ride that bet with you.
Plus, I think, 1,000 or 1,100 right now.
I'm going to put 10,000 on it to make a million.
Imagine winning a million dollars.
I don't know if that checks out.
That'd be sick if you won a million dollars.
What would you do with a million dollars? I'd buy you guys gift yeah yeah i uh i went shopping i walked down fifth avenue
the other day and i was like i'm gonna buy something for myself i don't think i like
anything if i had a million dollars i don't think i would get anything outside of like shoes
there's not a lot of things. I think it would be
convenience for me. I would just pay
to get to have an easier
life. Well what would make your life easier
right now? I mean I'm just thinking like travel
Would you travel?
If I was going for first class
it would just be the fastest
most efficient most comfortable way.
Hotels, travel.
That's a good use of your money.
I don't know.
I agree.
I eat great food a lot.
Don't you do that now?
No, but I do.
I'm kidding.
You're a healthy-ass boy.
I'm a good, yeah, but I do.
You are a healthy boy.
I might be on the, my Uber Eats stats are disgusting.
I might be on the top of the leaderboard.
Have you done your rewards?
No.
Dude, you got it.
You can get like 25% off for like a full week.
But you gotta.
You have to.
I'm a Grubhub man myself.
Also, have you guys ordered lunch yet with the new system here?
It's a problem.
We got a system?
It's a system.
You have to go downstairs to get your food.
Oh, these motherfuckers now.
This is for all?
It's all because of Alex Stein. Well, I think it was other stuff. We've had a couple other food. Oh, these motherfuckers now. This is for all. It's all because of Alex Stein.
Well, I think it was other stuff.
We've had a couple other incidents.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Geez.
Wow, I didn't know that.
That shit had me fired up this morning.
I ordered lunch, and the guy was like, I'm downstairs.
He's like, come on.
No, I might as well pick it up.
Yeah.
I just won't eat.
Might be the best diet plan ever.
Yeah.
Eat or go downstairs and have to come back upstairs.
It's a butterfly effect.
Alex Stein raiding the office and then you getting jacked.
Oh, man.
Then I can beat his ass.
Yeah.
You did this.
They sent out that email being like, you're going to have to, it's going to be, I don't
know, the whole thing with the elevator.
I didn't think it was going to kick in immediately.
Oh, yeah. It's the elevator thing. Can't use the elevator anymore. You can. You just got to have to, it's going to be, I don't know, the whole thing with the elevator. I didn't think it was going to kick in immediately. Oh, yeah.
It's the elevator thing.
Can't use the elevator anymore.
You can.
You just got to tell them to.
You got to tell the front desk.
Unlock it.
Oh, I'm a stair man.
We're on the second floor.
I don't, yeah.
You can't do stairs.
You're a sucker.
No.
Elevator upstairs.
Elevator upstairs.
Anything under fourth floor, I take steps.
I'm an elevator hater.
Oh, you wouldn't take the stairs.
If we were on the fourth floor, you would not take the stairs. Oh, I'd take the elevator. But if we were on the third floor. You wouldn elevator hater. Oh, you wouldn't take the stairs? If we were on the fourth floor, you would not take the stairs?
No, I'd take the elevator.
But if we were on the third floor?
Third, you wouldn't take stairs.
Steps.
No, you wouldn't.
No.
Yes.
The floor right above us.
So then do it.
Okay.
Start doing it.
Walk it all the way up to three and then come down.
Come back down.
I will.
Every day.
Every single day.
No chance.
Every single day.
My legs are going to be this big.
I was sitting in the elevator for a good minute
Until I realized what was going on
Just banging on the buttons
Being like what the fuck is going on
Aren't you embarrassed when somebody else gets on
And they're like going to 8 and you're going to 2
I hate it I will always wait
Let them go and try to get my own elevator
At that time you'd be up here
I know but you'll see me waiting sometimes
Just so I can get my own elevator
I don't give a fuck.
Steven is lost, I think.
I'm a better person than you.
What's he trying to do?
I think he's Googling how to cook a hot dog.
He definitely is.
I want to go cook the goddamn hot dogs.
TJ, you want to do a wheel and what is it?
One person?
There's three, four.
I think there's eight.
Six.
There's eight dogs.
Eight.
Or Zah.
Zah is at a stream.
What?
Morocco.
Yeah, but it doesn't start until 2 o'clock.
It's at like a restaurant or something.
Oh.
I think one person should not get a dog, and one person should have to eat two.
Make it interesting.
Love to eat two.
What is he doing?
He's got chops.
Why does he have chops?
Oh, my God.
This guy's going gonna make Asian dogs
What the fuck?
Why does he have chopsticks?
This is outrageous
This is
Can you zoom in on him?
We get it man
Just touch the fucking dogs
What is he doing?
We have hella tongs in the kitchen
You think he just had those chopsticks on him?
Oh yeah
He keeps that thing on him all the time
I was like Steven I don't believe you You think he just had those chopsticks on him? Oh, yeah. He keeps that thing on him all the time.
Always like, Stephen, I don't believe you.
He just whips them out.
He's like, would an Asian, a non-Asian have these?
He doesn't even respond.
He nabs your nose with them.
Yeah.
Got your nose.
Runs away with them.
Dips them in soy sauce.
Look at this.
I don't know how he made cooking hot dogs lame.
He did it.
He did it.
He managed to do it.
It's one of the most
American things you can do
is cook a hot dog.
God, I love a good dog.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah, maybe you'll get two, buddy.
Like Thuman's hot dogs.
Thuman's?
Yes, very good.
Is that one of those words
that, like, if you have a lisp,
you should, like should sue them?
That's what they can say.
Yeah, right.
That's unfair that they made this the word.
Thumans?
No, that's what they are able to say.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They're able to say Thumans.
I like Omaha Steaks hot dogs.
I do, too.
Well, that's what these are.
Ooh.
Really?
Good.
All right.
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So how should we do it?
Should we do the last person?
Do the last two.
One gets two, one gets zero.
Yeah.
Yeah, last two. One gets two, one gets zero? Yeah. Yeah, last two.
We'll spin for that.
I could use this.
I'm a third of the way through this four loco,
and I've reached zen.
You've acquired a taste for...
A dog.
A dog.
How many locos is a third of four?
What?
What?
Huh? Huh?
Huh?
He's one-third through his four loco.
How many locos is that?
Oh, shit.
Without?
Loco.
So a three loco, I'd be one-third.
So you're one and a quarter?
Four loco?
No, it'd be less.
It'd be like.75.
One-twelfth of a?
I've had a.75 loco?
This is actually four and three-fourths servings.
Wait, four?
There's four locos.
How many locos have I had?
It would be 1.2.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, it's more.
Yeah, one and a quarter.
I've had a 1.2 loco.
Already?
No, you've had 1.33 locos.
Repeating?
I think so.
So the line across.
Of course.
Wouldn't that make sense?
Is that a Leroy Jenkins reference? It was. Good God. I thought it was from you. What did you say? repeating? I think so so the line across wouldn't that be the make sense?
that's a Leroy Jenkins reference?
it was
good god
I thought it was from you
what'd you say?
I missed it
repeating of course
oh shit yeah
Leroy Jenkins
Leroy Jenkins
down for bound
the greatest clip
on the history of the internet
very good clip
pretty good
that clip is so fucking funny
the second best
gaming clip ever what's the best? Greg Jennings yeah Greg Jennings oh yeah that clip is so funny the second best gaming clip ever what's the best
greg jennings yeah greg oh yeah darren sharper almost hard hitting the safety in the league
also a rapist oh yeah cereal yeah peter king would put him in the hall of fame remember when he when
he when he came out with that take and it was just like you don't need to say this dude there was
nobody forcing you to no nobody asked you no he was just like yeah if don't need to say this, dude. There was nobody forcing you to? No. Nobody asked you?
No, he was just like, yeah, if Darren Sharper's up for Hall of Fame,
I'm going to judge him by how he played, not all the women he raped.
That's a Che take.
Yeah, that's a huge Che take.
100%.
Yeah.
If Darren Sharper had played for the Bucs.
Yeah.
Which he didn't, right?
Like, if Hitler could block the blind side for Tom Brady,
Che would be like, well, Tristan Wirfs is hurt.
Got good feet. Like, we need
him. Separate the art from the artist.
Really active with his hands.
Alright, spin the wheel. See who doesn't get a dog.
Doesn't or does?
Does and doesn't. Who does
and then who doesn't.
And who gets two. There's a very good chance
he's ruining these dollars.
It's going to be hard
to Jerry dog this, Jerry,
but you're going to...
I ordered hot dogs.
Yeah, but you're going to
give it a try, right?
Yeah.
All right.
If I get one.
It's true.
You might not get one.
I'm going to get one right here.
Let's go.
Brandon, you're good.
Have you eaten every day?
I didn't get one yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
It's like hot dog week
or something?
Steak week
with Omaha Steak Wheel.
Go check it out.
$40 off with your promo code YAK.
EJ.
EJ, get a dog.
I hope Steven has to eat, too.
He was mad yesterday.
I'm getting a dog.
That's me.
Are you taking people off?
That's me.
Yeah, I'm getting a dog.
KB, dog it up.
Dog.
Straight doggy style.
Legend.
Young legend. Gary, dog. Young legend.
Jerry, dog.
Yep.
What did he say?
Five minutes?
Nick, dog.
KB, do you want a dog or do you want two dogs?
Do you want no dogs or two dogs?
I want one.
Although you're either getting none or two. Two or two then alright, so whoever lands on gets two
I'm che doesn't get any yeah lands on gets two
Thanks for making them
Is he giving dogs away?
Give a dog whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hey?
Hey, Chad no, Chad hell spin the whole wheel again nah
Why do you was he looking at No, Chad. What the hell? Spin the whole wheel again. Nah.
What is he looking at?
Did he just give away all the dogs?
What the fuck is this guy doing?
He has to eat a dog no chewing.
He has to no chew dog.
I think he gave them away.
So how many we got now?
It's even worse than him giving the hot dogs away.
Oh no. What's worse than giving the hot dogs away?
It says they're fully cooked on the
packaging but he's concerned he's going to get somebody
sick so he's sending them to get microwaved.
What? They're fully cooked?
This is terrible.
This is terrible. They're cooked onaved. What? They're fully cooked. This is terrible. This is terrible.
They're cooked on that thing, and they're already cooked.
This is worse than if he were going to—
We really needed Chef Donnie to not have a doctor's appointment today.
How have you made cooking a hot dog this bad?
They're fully—the package is fully cooked?
That's—apparently, yes.
So I'm just being safe.
I'm trying to be safe.
No, they're fine.
I don't want a hot dog from the microwave.
Those are the worst.
I've cooked all of these.
Right.
So why no microwave?
I'm being 100% safe.
No.
What the hell?
It's not necessary.
The microwave is not necessary.
All right, fine.
I'll leave the last four.
We need to go save the others.
It's too late.
You should put that thing in the microwave for like five minutes and have them eat it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I want a dog.
Yeah.
No, we'll microwave it for 20 minutes.
In two minutes.
You bring them in.
That's outrageous. It made hot dogs difficult
Like he's cooking for his children
You could take that out of the fridge
Eat it
He's fine
Yeah
I don't know what his brain is doing
Alright guys spin it
Whoever hits it has to have two dogs
Unmicrowaved Oh no he's gonna die You can't spin it. Whoever hits it has to have two dogs.
Unmicrowaved.
Oh, no. He's going to die.
Come on.
All right, whatever.
He's got to eat two.
That's good, though.
He's got to eat two of his microwave dogs.
He had two hamburgers yesterday.
Perfectly fine with that.
Sorry, Kyle.
I gotta go get my hot dogs.
Oh, downstairs?
Kyle can have one of your hot dogs.
Yep.
Thank you.
You got it.
But Omaha Steak Dogs are the best.
Won't be as good.
Yeah, they're the best.
I'll be right down, all right?
Give me a second.
Yep, give me a second.
I'll be right down.
How much eggnog are we having Friday?
I think it's an appropriate amount.
One glass?
By the way, I haven't put together my gift, but it's going to be awesome.
Everybody's going to want mine.
I have so much shit that's actually valuable that I never use that's sitting in my house.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Yeah, you're going to be a box of shit. Your. Yeah, I'm excited. It's going to be a box of shit.
The present's going to be amazing.
It's going to be amazing.
Yours is going to be worth thousands of dollars.
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I might just throw my old computers and phones in there too.
Are these transportable or this?
Couldn't I bring it home by myself?
Yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah, no, it's nothing huge.
Couldn't be a great gift.
I'm excited.
What time's O'Day getting here?
We're going right after the show?
Yeah, we're going to start right at 2 o'clock.
O'Day should, if we line everything up,
we should have a nice little buzz.
I got a suit.
Nice.
We should have a nice little buzz
when O'Day shows up for some crooning and O'Daniacs.
I think a two and a half hour show is perfect.
It's going to be longer than that.
You think so?
Yeah.
I want to talk real slow.
Fuck.
Did you guys see Girl Smokes today?
Oh my God.
We played that video?
She has a very hardcore OnlyFans.
You haven't seen it?
I've seen a female look like of him before, like two years ago.
This is Tommy Smokes.
Wait till you see it.
It's maybe not.
It's kind of hot.
That's Tommy Smokes.
It's his head.
That's just Tommy Smokes.
I kind of want to fuck Tommy Smokes. It's his head. That's just Tommy Smokes. I kind of want to fuck Tommy Smokes.
Yeah.
Up.
Kyle's getting up.
In there, getting a look at it.
Oh.
Literally his face.
He's giggling.
I don't like it.
What happened, Jerry?
I know.
It's a problem, huh?
This is going to come up in your negotiation with Dave, is it not?
I feel like some people are going to be like Kevin Malone.
They'll just quit.
Yeah.
I swear to God I'll quit.
Jesus. You?
The thing is, I can't get into the stairs.
I don't have a key card.
I'm going to kill this guy.
Oh, you're...
Why don't you have...
How long have you worked here?
You got to eat a Omaha steak stock.
I gave it to Ebony to fix it, and then she never gave it back.
There's like a...
A corn dog?
...stack of key cards.
Oh, man.
You get a corn...
Oh!
That's the best looking corn dog I've ever seen.
That was great.
That corn dog looks amazing.ndog I've ever seen. That was great. That corndog looks amazing.
Stop with the fucking...
Sorry.
They're crossing swords over there, guys.
Here you go.
Move it over.
Should we all pretend to get sick from these?
Yeah.
Wait, yeah, let's all text that we're sick with food poisoning to Jay tomorrow.
Oh.
God, he's
he is individually
preparing each plate
with his own little
kitchen.
You got another corn dog?
Garnishing?
Yeah.
Regular.
He's bringing them in
twice a
Okay, he doesn't know
how we're doing it in here.
Okay, well
Stephen, you have to eat two.
You have to eat two.
I won. We all get one. You have to eat two. I won.
We all get one.
Jerry needs one.
Except for KB.
We need Jerry to Jerry dog one.
Yeah, yeah.
Except the big cat.
And you have to eat two.
Thank you.
These don't look cooked at all.
I don't get one.
That's a good dog.
Thank you, Steve.
Hope I don't get sick.
Can I just keep this plate?
Is this real mustard?
Yeah.
Yeah, go ahead, Seth.
Like prank mustard?
It's a big old squeeze.
Look at this.
Boys eating dogs.
This is great.
Old pranks like that.
I think whoopee cushions are hilarious.
Yeah.
Jerry, so tomorrow you're going to be our shooter for
Oregon Trail? Yep.
We're going to play Oregon Trail tomorrow.
Old school version?
Oh, are we doing old school?
What?
You have to eat two.
Let's eat two.
Jerry needs one.
You sure? Yeah. You need to Jerry dog it, please. Omaha Steaks Yeah You need to Jerry dog it please
Omaha Steaks actually specifically asked
To Jerry dog
Man
These are big dogs bro
Look at that kid
Fucking squeeze it
They are big dogs
Squeeze it Jerry
Jerry really squeeze it
I needed this
Jerry is this
Really show us
Is this your kids first Christmas?
Second
You go all out?
What you get? I got this your kid's first Christmas? Second. You go all out? Mm-hmm.
What'd you get?
I got this thing.
It's called a bumper car.
I know what that is.
Mm-hmm.
But I got the remote.
So are you driving him around?
Oh, no.
Wait.
You can make him go wherever?
That's awesome. That is awesome. That was cool. Wait, you've make him go wherever? Yeah.
That's awesome.
That is awesome.
That was cool.
Wait, you've already given it to him?
Oh.
No.
I got clothes and more toys.
Yeah?
Did you get anything?
No.
Did your mom get you anything?
No.
You get anything for your mom?
Yeah.
What'd you get her?
The keels. Oh, yeah. You get anything for your mom? Yeah. What'd you get her? Kiehl's.
Oh, yeah.
I got her like a big gift package to there because she likes the skin stuff, whatever.
Nice.
Yeah.
I got all my Christmas shopping done Monday.
Whoa.
Oh, that's why you weren't here.
Yep.
Yeah.
I noted that on the log.
I want Christmas shopping brandon for his kids
oh really they got some good ass they got good ass pokemon set hell yeah
what do you get your stand oh yeah uh i don't know what i i gotta i gotta go get some stuff
last year we got a car like the little car i gotta fucking figure that out
gotta go shopping.
It's very stressful.
It is.
Kids like everything, though, don't they?
Yeah, they do.
I did get them already this big fort,
this air fort.
You put a fan on it,
it makes a big fort.
They're gonna like that a lot.
That one's done.
I was the biggest fort kid.
Yeah.
Forts are awesome.
I was a cushion fort kid, though.
Yeah, we've been doing the cushion forts.
Figured I'd take it to the next level.
That is next level.
What does that mean?
Take the cushions off the couch.
Oh, yeah.
It's pretty cool.
The blankets.
Impenetrable.
Yeah.
Different corridors and whatnot.
I'm in that fort. The fort. It's pretty cool. The blankets. Impenetrable. Yeah. Different corridors and whatnot. I lived in that fort the best.
How were you allowed to make forts as a kid?
I was an overly ambitious fort builder.
You were?
I would go steal wood and nails from my neighbor Dwayne and then...
Dwayne?
I would just hammer one, two pieces of wood together and then that was it.
That was it.
I grew up very, very...
You were protective home.
What do you mean?
7 p.m. bedtime.
What?
Yeah.
That was a good time.
After Rugrats, so 8.
That might have been 7, dude.
To when? No. You were at 8 p.m.? That's still pretty early. To when? Like 8th grade. That was a good one After Rugrats So 8 That might have been 7 dude No
You were at 8pm
That's still pretty early
Yeah
Till when?
Like 8th grade
No
Yeah
No but way too late
It was too late
Update on
My son waking me up
Oh yeah
When he wants to get up
4.30 this morning
Same
That sucked
Just standing right next to me
He's on that Mark Wahlberg schedule
Just like dad
We getting up?
I'm going to pray for two hours.
No, dude.
Dad, are we going to go to the gym or are you going to sleep all day?
4.30 is early.
He was ready to go.
But what's he do?
He just stands next to me.
He walks into my room.
But what do you do from 4.30 to 8?
Oh, no, I got him to go back to bed.
I was like, go back to bed.
And I walked him back to bed.
And he went back to bed. I was like, go back to bed. And I walked him back to bed.
And he went back to bed.
But it's just, I'm living in like a, I got to start locking my doors.
It's like a little terrorist.
You're in boot camp.
He just stands right next to my face.
He's just like, let's get up.
4.30 is terrifying.
Terrifying.
I don't know what the hell is going on with this clock.
How many memories I have at 4.30.
Oh, wow.
You can get to two hands?
It's a dead zone.
You can get to two hands?
Yeah.
I don't know if I can get past one.
Nothing happens at 4.30 is the least common time.
You might be right because I remember there was like, because 4.30 is a little too early for people getting up.
Or you can kind of still be out, especially in New York.
Right.
4.30?
4.30.
Bars are closed.
No, there's nothing.
I do some 4.30s in Chicago.
They have like late night bars, so the bar's closed at 2, and then you can go to another bar, which just like resets everything.
Yeah, 4.30 is usually I'm at IHOP if I'm out.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Also, 4.30 is like for, if you're past the age of 25,
you're out at 4.30, you just know you're in a world of pain.
Like, you know.
You are addicted to pain.
You're fucked.
You're addicted.
You have three addictions.
Yeah, you are, at least.
And you just know that no matter what,
you're going to be hurt for a while.
Because if you go to sleep at 4.30 or 5, you have to sleep until like 1, 2.
I don't remember the last time I went to bed before 3.30.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah, I've been getting like five hours of sleep a night.
Yeah, but you take like six hour naps.
No, that's like once a week max.
Usually there's one day where I catch up.
Usually it's Sunday.
Usually on Sunday I'll sleep all day.
You just sleep all day during football?
No, I'll have football on my TV, my little TV.
You kind of wake up.
I'll just lay in bed with my eyes closed.
Sports naps are the best naps.
Oh, the best.
But wait, last night you went to bed at 3?
3.30?
Jesus.
Why?
Nine. Just gaming? You need to get that air, 3.30. Jesus. Why? 9.
Just gaming?
You need to get that air conditioner back in. I just can't sleep anymore.
I know, I know.
No, actually, I wasn't gaming last night.
Tonight's the gaming night, though.
Oh, you have a day.
I already talked to the boys.
There's nothing better than, like, having a big plan for yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Being like, tonight I'm going to watch this movie, or tonight I'm going to play this video game.
Just you. Or like, tonight there's an awesome basketball game on at 10.30, and I'm just going to watch it by myself.
I'm like that with dinner.
I think about dinner the second I wake up.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Really?
What are you having for dinner is like the first thought in my head.
Really?
Yeah.
Damn.
It's like my me time.
That's the one thing I control.
Yeah, you're playing your whole day around it.
Tonight, I'm going up to my dad's, and we are going to order cutlets.
Whoa.
Fancy.
Love it.
Can you get my shoes?
Yeah, I see them up there.
You going to watch something?
Yeah, we watch Ip Man every single time I'm up there.
I watch it once a week.
What's Ip Man?
A Chinese movie, but it's a kung fu movie.
It's awesome.
You guys watch that every single week?
We watched it last week and the week.
Yeah, we watch it every single week.
Every once in a while we'll watch the sequels.
In one of them he fights Mike Tyson.
Is there a discussion?
Is it like, does someone have to be like,
hey, let's watch Ip Man?
My dad likes two movies right now.
Ip Man and that Nobody movie with Bob Odenkirk.
I don't know.
I'm not familiar with that one.
Yeah, that's the two things we alternate.
What is that movie about?
Nobody?
Yeah.
He's like an ex-agent, and he gets beat up on a bus.
Oh, yeah, I know that movie.
I watched it.
It was pretty awesome.
Yeah, that is an awesome movie.
One watcher, though.
I don't understand re-watching movies.
Definitely a one watcher.
Because it gets you amped up.
I think re-watching a movie has to be like comedy. Go home and watch Ip Man. There's a comfort to it. No, I know I won't like that. You'll like it. It gets you amped up. I think re-watching a movie is like, it has to be like comedy.
Go home and watch Ip Man.
There's a comfort to it.
No, I know I won't like that.
You'll like it.
I don't like Kung Fu.
Yeah, but he punched
real fast.
I hate that.
Yeah, I don't like it.
I punched like a thousand times
in the chest.
That was fast.
He doesn't get hit
in the entire movie.
The less realistic,
the more I hate it.
Oh, wow.
It's in a guy's chest
and the guy's just
laying on the ground.
It's awesome.
Bloodsport was a good movie.
True story.
I can't make the noise.
Or you can't punch as fast as me.
I've watched it man more.
KB, I've been getting back in the gym.
Do you ever go to the gym and you go home and you feel terrible?
Like awful?
KB feels terrible all the time time how often do you feel good so i'll feel
bad at the gym but when you go home you feel good my thing is i i don't know i never if i'm feeling
like shit i'll just leave yeah that's not what it is for me though i feel good at the gym and oh and
then i get home and i feel like horrible no it lasts for like an hour. No.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Just lifting?
Nauseous?
Like anxiety.
Oh.
Yeah.
See, that's...
Yeah, something's wrong with you, dude.
Like emptiness in my stomach.
This has been a reoccurring thing for me for a while.
But then later...
You got issues.
But then later I feel good.
You have people that are...
Whenever you go to the gym,
there's one person
that's gonna be there.
No, because I...
I have one
that's this older woman.
She's built...
She looks from...
Aside from the face,
looks like a 20-year-old,
but she's probably
like 50-something.
Yeah.
She's there at night,
morning,
whenever I go.
Yeah, I had a... The old gym I used to go to, there at night, morning whenever I go. Yeah I had a
the old gym I used to go to there was a guy that was like that
and I always remember. That's a problem.
He was curling like 70 pound dumbbells
and he would always be there just curling
the dumbbells.
Nick you have Argentina in the final. I do.
Yeah I'm done. I'm going to have to work out a deal with you
if France gets there.
Don't. You'll win. No but I don't want. I want Argentina to have to work out a deal with you if France gets there Don't
You'll win
No, but I want Argentina to win
So I'm stuck
I'm rooting for Messi
No, I might just give Nick
a buyout option, a cashout option
I accept
$200
I think Argentina's going to win
Do you?
I will give you a fair
and equitable cash out option
and you also still get the money from everyone else too
Argentina looked great yesterday
they smoked them
3-0 right?
I really want Messi to win it all
so I can be like he's the goat
flexing everyone's face
all the fucking non-believers.
One thing that Maradona has on him.
I might still be in this bitch too.
No.
You're not.
I don't think so.
You got a team, you got a team, and I got a team.
I don't think so.
We're the same, guys.
Al, I don't think so.
We're the same.
Morocco's dead.
You're going to disrespect Morocco like that?
Yep.
That's racist.
Yep.
What race is Morocco?
African. Moroccan. Oh. Is it? Morocco is that? Yep. That's racist. Yep. What race is Morocco? African.
Moroccan.
Oh.
Is it?
Morocco is African.
Arabic.
Are they Africans?
It's in Africa, is it not?
Yeah, it's in North Africa.
First African country to ever make the semifinals.
It's across the Strait of Gibraltar from Spain.
Yeah, what race?
They could probably put, some could put black, some could put white.
Do you think a Moroccan, if they were trying to get into Harvard, would put African American?
Well, not if they're not from America.
No, if they live in America.
Yeah, they could do that.
They may check other.
French Montana.
Wow.
Who else?
I know all these guys.
Red One?
Who's Red One?
I know Red Foo from LMFAO.
Moroccan Swedish singer.
Twitch streamer Pokey Mane is Moroccan.
That's a combination.
I feel like a Moroccan Swedish woman would be very attractive.
Very attractive.
Really?
Yeah.
We got to start forcing that.
No, I mean.
We got to get that together more often.
Or like Swedish and Thai.
Oh.
I'd like to see all the combinations.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Just see what the best one really is.
I've never been with a Thai.
No? Yeah. Just see what the best one really is. I've never been with a Thai. No?
Never.
Never want to?
Yeah, I want to go to Thailand.
Yeah?
They just said it was cheap.
Is it?
Oh, getting there?
Or once you're there?
Come on.
Once you're there.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
20 bucks.
The pussy.
That's what you're talking about.
Okay.
What about ladyboys?
What do you mean?
One of the more self-explanatory things.
Yeah, I don't know what else to say besides ladyboy.
I thought you checked before.
Well, I mean, I'm just saying.
I think you checked during.
Hey, can I see first?
Yeah.
Ari Shaffir had a funny bit about that,
how he tried to have sex with a ladyboy in Thailand
to prove that he's not homophobic.
He was like, I was attracted to her, so why wouldn't I?
Did you listen to his new special?
No.
It's really funny.
Yeah?
Yeah, it's really good.
What's it called?
Jew.
It's really good. Where's it out? Oh, it's really funny. Yeah? Yeah, it's really good. What's it called? Jew. It's really good.
That's pretty good.
Where is it out?
Oh, it's on YouTube.
Nice.
When are you releasing a special?
Ten years from now.
What?
Yeah.
Let's have better goals than that.
Okay, sweetie.
Come on.
There's still much improvement to be had.
On a special in a year.
That's not gonna happen
One year
What if we'll pay for it
We'll get you a grand piano
Put it behind a paywall
We'll sort of sell out
Was it the Wilbur?
The Wilbur
Did you see Stav sold out the Wilbur five times?
No
Really?
Jesus Christ
Pretty good right?
Fucking insane
I sold out the Wilbur once
Yeah
KSC Radio
Yeah
Weiss
Really
Two times I think it was
I think it was double shows
Damn
Very sick I remember
That was when you guys
Had the couch right
Yeah yeah yeah
Good time
Oh yeah bro
I'm an OG stoolie
Think I didn't know that shit
Should we try to sell out something
Yeah we should
I'd like to do a live show
Why don't we do the beacon
I love the idea that we had
Of doing the live show
Where it was like a liminator
Oh they have to
Yeah
We spin a wheel
And you have to leave
Yeah
But we're on the wheel too
So it's just one person
Left in the entire hall
What if it's just like
Lands on all of us but one?
You have to host a solo show.
Do the whole fucking thing.
I would love that.
Brandon could do it.
Every live yak we've done has sold out in like 10 seconds.
We should do more.
They're fun.
They're fun.
We've also done them in tiny...
Tiny venues.
Tiny venues.
Tiny venues.
We had one in a 40-person venue.
In a skee-ball place, there were more of us than...
Oh, yeah.
No one was there for us. We sold that shit out.
We were stuffed by the front door at the Ski Ball Place.
That was the first live show I've ever done
with anything, obviously.
And I walked into that so nervous.
I was so nervous. And then you realized we were in a closet.
We also weren't... It was like MB was the audience.
We weren't facing anybody. I don't think it was considered live.
Well, the show was live.
But it wasn't a live show.
There was no audience.
They were outside watching it on TV.
We were doing a show to a wall.
Great show, though. Crushed it.
Yeah, it was fun. That was awesome. The skee-ball part was fucking
crazy. Yeah.
We got a live show that had seven chairs
and two working mics.
That one, not so much.
Our second live show? Yeah, that was a tough one.
That was a very tough live show.
Friday Vibes live show.
That did not.
Oh, I forgot about that one.
Yeah, I didn't have a mic.
Well, that was our third live show then.
Oh, I must have missed that one.
Our second live show was in that basement.
Basement.
That was just a good one.
Was that when Che threw the glass, the shot glass at you, Brandon?
That was the third one.
Oh, was that when I said that?
That was Friday Vibes.
Because he did the Friday Vibes and he did the Freshman.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he did a show about abortion.
An abortion suicide.
Friday Vibes.
And a suicide.
To be clear.
It's like, yeah, this pumps you up.
Abortion.
That show was a catastrophe.
I did not realize I was about that.
To be clear, that was a plastic shot glass.
I didn't say anything.
He said it.
I know.
Sass is acting like I assaulted you.
When you were singing along to Freshman, did you ever stop?
I just thought it was about school and college.
Pull up the lyrics.
Pull up the lyrics and say the lyrics out loud.
I want to hear them.
I mean, I don't know the meanings of every song.
It's pretty cheap.
No, I want to hear.
Jay's going to do a live reading of Freshman.
Don't strick and sobbing on the floor.
Yeah, wait, wait.
Freshmen go through a lot of problems typically in adjusting to college.
Did you go through any?
Are you talking about college?
No.
You were fine.
Too mentally strong.
Yeah.
All right, go ahead.
Believe that fully?
Yeah, just read that.
I can't see.
TJ, can you enlarge on that font?
Dude, what the fuck, Che?
All right, ready?
Go ahead, Che.
Stephen Che performing Fresh.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
When I was young, I knew everything.
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice.
And now I'm guilt-stricken sobbing with my head on the floor.
Oh, shit.
I didn't know that it said baby's breath.
Read the next line.
Stopped a baby's breath in a shoe full of rice.
Oh, right here.
This is playing at Friday vibes.
This is a first verse.
Live.
You're crying on the floor and you stop the baby's breath.
What are we thinking?
I didn't know that word was breath.
Okay, keep going.
What do you think it was?
I don't know.
Okay, keep going.
Can't be held responsible.
That's true.
You're a guy.
You shouldn't be held responsible.
She was touching her face.
I thought this was about losing her virginity.
I won't be held responsible.
She fell in love in the first place.
For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise
and we'd never compromise
for the life of me.
I cannot believe
we'd ever die
for these sins. We were merely
freshmen.
I don't think of that.
It's the second line.
Here we go.
My best friend took a week's
vacation to forget her.
His girl took a week's worth of Valium and slapped her.
All right, stop.
Stop.
That girl just killed herself, Stephen.
Yeah, yeah.
Big time.
Shit.
A week's worth of Valium.
Okay, keep going.
Stephen, I'm on your side.
The girl who previously aborted the baby just killed herself.
All right, keep going. What is Valium? Valium? Anti-anxiety. All right, keep going. Steven, I'm on your side. The girl who previously aborted the baby just killed herself. All right, keep going.
What is Valium?
Valium?
Anti-anxiety.
All right, keep going.
It's a benzo.
I don't think you can definitively say she killed herself.
Dude.
My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her.
His girl took a week's worth of Valium and slept.
I know that line, but I thought that just meant that she was...
You can just click on what it means.
Click on what it means.
Very much up for debate.
Whether or not these lines refer to actual suicide...
Oh!
Originally, he claimed...
At the time I was dating a girl in college, we broke up. dated her and then I went out with her again we went back and forth from there I came up with the story of her getting pregnant
and having an abortion by the way the girl is fine and not a bad thing happened but the lyric
is your interpretation you say it didn't actually happen but the girl is real the abortion is real
the death is not right the story is that there was is real, the abortion is real, the death is not.
Right.
The story is that there was a death.
Yeah.
All right, well, I don't read the lyrics every time.
I just thought this was about people doing dumb shit as freshmen in college.
Yeah, knocking each other up.
I didn't realize that, yeah.
Committing suicide.
I did not realize the...
I would like you to sing the rest of the song.
Yeah, I would like to hear the rest of it.
You sound good.
You sound great.
You sound really fast.
You sound soothing for some reason
Where am I?
And now she's guilt-stricken
Sobbing with his head on the floor
Thinks about it now and now
And never really wept, he said
Can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise
and we'd never compromise.
For the life of me,
I cannot believe
we'd ever die for
these sins. We were merely
freshmen.
Damn, that was good. That was damn good.
Thank you. Yeah, but we should do more live shows.
They're fun.
We should. I really would like to do that. I can get that was good. It was damn good. Thank you. Yeah, but we should do more live shows. They're fun. We should.
I really would like to do that.
I can get that cooked up.
All right.
I don't want to do it in a big city.
I'd like to do one like, yeah, I don't want to do one in New York City.
I want to do one like in Long Island, in like New Jersey somewhere.
I don't want to get like a 30,000 seat arena or something.
Let's just do it as big as possible. Oh, I want to get like a 30,000 seat arena or something. Let's just do as big as possible.
Oh, I want to do like a chuckle hut in Long Island.
The governors.
We did.
We did a live stream in a Dave and Buster's in Long Island.
That was cool.
We should do.
We should do a live show.
The Dave and Buster's in Long Island.
So down.
I love Dave and Buster's.
I'm sure we can get that organized.
That would be fun.
That exact one.
I mean, it was funny because it was like an abandoned mall except for Dave and Buster's.
I'm in on that.
Yeah, it was cool.
Wait, was that at Roosevelt Fields?
Yeah, maybe.
No, I don't know.
Yeah.
It was kind of abandoned, right?
It was abandoned?
Well, no.
There was like, we walked through it and it was empty for like, a lot of the stores were
empty and then Dave and Buster's.
I think this was during.
Nope.
No?
Nope.
Okay.
Maybe the seating should be arranged by how well you do at the arcade games.
I like that.
So if you get the most tickets, front row.
That'd be good.
And it goes for us, too.
It goes for us.
Unless you complete a level
cruising usa what's your guys favorite game to play david busters i like cruising usa nostalgia
yeah i also love papa shot i like deal or no deal at the palisades mall no deals good i went a
couple weeks ago with tommy they have a free throw shooting that's just an actual 10-foot goal, 15-foot. It's
fantastic. What about the...
Remember the cop
training one?
Yeah. Time Crisis?
Yes, Time Crisis! You had to step on the thing
to lift the shield? Awesome! Yeah, that was awesome.
That game ruled. Anybody like
Hydro Thunder? Is that the boat
racing game? Arctic Thunder better, actually.
Yes. Snowmobiles Thunder better, actually. Yes.
Snowmobiles.
Dude, arcades rock.
Star Wars pod racing.
Loss of Arcade. Ski Ball was number one.
It really is.
I actually...
See you, man.
I'm going to watch the game.
What do you mean you're going to watch the game?
You've got to bet on it.
I know, it just started, though.
Get it on that TV if you'd like.
This TV stopped, blanked out.
It says Nick's iMac Airplay passcode.
The fuck is Nick?
Arcades.
Do you think?
I actually think that you could, like, it would have to be in the right place,
but I think you could open up a blockbuster.
Yeah.
I think you could.
It's a nostalgia thing.
I think it would be super successful.
I have a lot of stock in Viacom because I think it's coming back.
Yeah.
Who's got DVD players?
Yeah, that's probably true, but you know that like...
But like PlayStation and stuff, you can put a movie into a PlayStation.
Yeah, that's true.
But like the idea of everything old becomes cool again.
Yeah.
The idea of going to a blockbuster and searching for the video that you want to watch that night.
Yeah, there's one left in Bend, Oregon.
You open that up in Brooklyn?
Yeah, right.
Millionaire.
Millionaire.
Seriously?
Well, I guess you already are a millionaire, so it doesn't...
Yes, that's true.
Billionaire. Nothing changed. Billion nothing changed that would pop off you also would throw some blockbuster merch in there
yeah i think you'd sell the merch blockbuster a lot of merch maybe even have like a vip area
where you sell some some like playboys and pen oh yeah yeah yeah i mean i'm even the cuss dirty
match where i guys aren't we rented vhs'ss with what you, you rent a VHS there too.
Oh, yeah.
So I think if you did that.
There was no worse feeling.
Who's doing that?
The whole player.
Who doesn't have a VHS?
There was no worse feeling.
Not anymore.
Than going to a Blockbuster and seeing the movie you wanted to see and it's all empty boxes.
Because remember they put the one behind it.
There's no better feeling than that you're about to leave and you see it return.
Turned, yeah.
I get that one.
Yep, yep.
That's a good feeling.
Please be kind and rewind.
Yeah.
The fact that you actually had to rewind the movie before you returned it.
I had a VHS rewinder.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
So it was just a VHS machine?
No, no.
It was like you had to rewound it faster. Oh, I know. I know those existed, but did? Yeah. So it was just a VHS machine? No, no. It was like you just rewound it fast.
Oh, I know.
I know those existed, but I never understood.
You didn't have to.
It was faster.
It was faster.
Fuck, yeah.
I guess we didn't need it.
I worked at a Blockbuster and a Radio Shack at the same time.
Whoa.
I would work at Radio Shack.
You're the king of the 90s.
Radio Shack's for a grim reaper after that circuit city.
Well, I mean, we haven't mentioned the fact now that we're a day away or removed.
All right, come on.
Add Mike Leach to Brandon's, you know, just horrible year.
He got his contract from Barstool and everything has died around him.
Everything.
Wow.
Literally everything.
We should be very careful.
None of you are dead.
Right.
You know Mintz's NOLA office is going to blow the fuck up.
Yeah, Mintz's office is going to be the king of south.
He might hire you.
What do you think he's doing today?
Probably not qualified.
I don't know.
Mintz, though, grabbed me as he was walking out yesterday.
He's like, I'm doing a morning show, gambling show.
And he's like, is it cool if Stella Blue Coffee is a sponsor?
I think he was asking me to pay him.
And I was like, yeah.
He's like, all right, great.
Okay.
Like, I don't really know.
I think he was just trying to tell me that he was doing a morning show.
He also asked Jack McCarthy what time he should do it.
And Jack was like, probably like 9 would be good.
And Vincey was like, ugh, pretty early.
Like, well, that's what a morning show is.
Yeah.
That's too early for him.
It's going to be like 3.
It's going to be an 11.30 morning show.
Oh, and he's also going to do it because it's in Louisiana, so it's Central Time.
So he's going to do it like, he'll probably just do it at 11 and it will just run opposite of pick Central.
It will.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Is it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fine.
I don't care.
I would go work for Ben Mince in New Orleans.
Would you live in New Orleans?
No.
I don't think you'd like it.
I wouldn't.
How do you work out a deal?
You also would never in a million years work for Ben Mintz.
No, of course I wouldn't, but I don't know.
You just want to go to...
I want to go down south, yeah.
Ben Mintz could open up a barstool branch in West Point,
and you wouldn't want to do it.
If he was your boss?
If he opened one up in West Point, I'd have to kill him.
Right, but I'm saying, like, if...
Yeah.
Yeah, no, good luck to him.
He's going to be awesome.
It's on the ground, bro.
He's going to come out of this vacation spry, ready to create.
Yeah.
When is his vacation?
January?
I don't know.
I think January 3rd.
I mean, it's Christmas for him right now.
Did he say he's going for vacation right now?
Yes.
He's starting Christmas.
This is his Christmas holiday.
He's got to rest up.
That's crazy.
Good for him.
Better get things in order, too.
Yeah, you know.
He's got a solid contract.
Three years, brother.
Three years.
Although, Dave, I did the rundown with Dave and Kevin today,
and Dave said, because I guess Nadeau was like,
remote crew stand up when Mincy was leaving.
And Dave was like, I think I'm done letting people just steal from me.
So I'm going to make sure that everyone sends a report every day.
Man.
The remote people?
Yeah.
Well, it is weird.
What if I was just like, I'm going to go to Colorado.
Right.
See you guys.
Yeah.
Be doing a lot of content out there.
Yeah.
You could probably steal from the company for a while. Yeah. I'd be remote from New York City. Right. See you guys. Yeah. Be doing a lot of content out there. Yeah. You could probably steal from the company for a while.
Yeah.
I'd be remote from New York City.
Yeah.
Some people do that.
I have a couple of a lot of people.
There's like five people here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At most.
Yeah.
So that's not a great sign, though, that Dave said he's going to want to report every day.
To be meticulously looking over that.
Maybe he's going to start
showing up on Mondays, huh?
Oh, I forgot. Did you see that one, Dan?
Yeah.
He tagged the wrong account.
Oh, the fake one.
How many fake
stool presences are there?
Hundreds?
It's got to be hundreds.
That guy got me a couple times.
Yeah.
Oh, you're ripe for those, Jerry.
You're ripe for those.
Yeah.
There's one of me that like 50 people that I follow follow.
Like they think it's like my other account.
It's damn good now.
Yeah.
I think you guys follow it.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, jeez. One-nothing France one nothing france seriously really no that's dead
that bet's dead they scored and it's six minutes in it's already so what if so what would have to
happen now they would have to score yeah fall behind two one it's been done they had to fall
behind two one then they would have to still win in regulation. They'd have to score two more. They'd have to win 3-2.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, they fucked it.
You win some, you lose some.
Yeah.
You lost this one.
Yeah.
So does this keep you from getting mad at Westy and everybody in the sports book?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because you would have lost no matter what.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not over, man.
It's only six minutes in.
Yeah, but it's dead. Oh, it's dead. No win is's not over, man. It's only six minutes in. Yeah, but it's dead.
It's dead.
No win, probably like 4-1.
Yeah, probably.
5-0.
Going to absolutely kill him.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Imagine the odds you'd get on that bet now, though, Jerry.
Oh, man.
She probably won a million bucks.
Do you think if you were watching the game instead of in here,
that goal wouldn't have happened?
100%.
Yeah, probably right.
That's on Dan.
I mean, Dan made you stay.
That's all right.
I like Jerry on the yak.
I like the way Roback feels and looks.
The best way to describe Roback is best fit, best feel.
I have my Roback hoodie on right now,
and Dan's wearing a Roback hoodie under his little thing there.
I was going to wear my vest today, but Dan wore a vest yesterday,
and I couldn't be that guy.
But I have one.
We can't stop wearing Roback, and when it comes to quality,
these guys just do not miss.
They have the best performance polos, hoodies, and quarter zips.
Now you can rock Roback head to toe.
They just released their performance joggers, and they are incredible.
They're functional, versatile, and comfortable.
These joggers check off every box.
There are a lot of joggers out there, but these are the very best.
They're perfect for a nice fall day or a football Sunday.
They're perfect for lounging around on a weekend.
They're perfect for working at Barstool.
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You'll never want to take these joggers off.
We've been rocking them everywhere, so trust us.
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Rowback joggers are here.
Hop on board.
Again, you can see this delicious-looking thing on me.
I'm not a jogger. It's a hoodie.
They got the best hoodies in the game. They're lightweight.
They're comfortable.
That's Roebuck.
Yeah, it's finished. I love Roebuck.
I legitimately love it.
I wear it all the time.
I'm wearing it right now. Joggers.
And your hoodie's Roebuck, isn't it? Yeah.
Where'd you get the blue ones?
I don't know. Send them to me.
Yeah, I have the black ones. I want the blue ones, I don't know. Send them to me. Yeah, I have the black ones.
I want the blue ones, too.
Blue ones.
Got the black ones.
Got the blue ones.
You got the black and the blue?
Got the black and the blue.
Why is it always black and blue?
It's never blue and black.
That's a good question, Brandon.
Thanks.
I never thought about that.
I guess those two sides clash, though. So, wait.
What are we going to do?
Let's decide now for tomorrow.
The Oregon Trail.
Every time Jerry kills 100 pounds of meat, someone has to eat a steak?
Any meat?
Like if he kills a chicken?
Well, it's 100 pounds.
A rabbit?
He's got to kill 100 pounds.
100 pounds.
Yeah, but if he kills a-
It's one buffalo.
Yeah, it's one, yeah.
One bison.
We eat a steak.
I think 200 pounds. Oh, because there's, you know, all of us, it's one... One bison. We eat a steak. I think 200 pounds.
Oh, because there's...
You know, all of us are in here.
So one person has to eat a steak.
And we're playing the old version?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, unless TJ, how long is the new version?
He says like five hours.
Five hours.
Oh, my God.
During the 12 hour.
Isn't it like thousands?
Like, if you kill a buffalo, isn't that like a thousand pounds?
You can only carry 100 pounds.
In that game, it's...
Oh, but it's how much he kills, though.
It doesn't even tell you, does it?
Does it tell you how much?
Wouldn't you rather play the new one?
I would, but it's like five hours.
We could always save.
Just make... yeah.
I don't want to play the new one.
I don't think we're going to survive.
Fine, let's play the new one. I like that.
And it would be harder to carry.
Or do you think we'll die while playing the game?
Either or.
Okay.
We should just play it every Thursday and save
our progress. Imagine when we beat it.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, yeah, it'll only take like two or three Thursdays. Okay.
I mean, if we did the ultimate, it would just
be the same. Yeah, you're right. Alright, so TJ, can you
get the new one set up?
And we'll run it. Yeah, we'll do it. I mean, I don't really have anything tomorrow afternoon, you're right. Alright, so TJ, can you get the new one set up? And we'll run it. Yeah, we'll
do it. I mean, I don't really have anything
tomorrow afternoon, so fuck it.
I'll fucking
eat steak and get to Oregon.
So funny
when I said I got to Oregon and everyone responded
and they're like, fucking liberal state.
Get out of there.
Get the fuck out of there.
Dude, have fun getting beat up by a homeless guy.
What?
Just Portland.
The rest of the state.
Most of it is the most conservative state.
Yeah.
I'd say that for a lot of states.
A lot of states.
New York.
California.
Illinois.
Yeah.
Wisconsin.
Wait until I get to Illinois.
Things are going to change.
Things are going far right.
Boots on the ground. Already is, bro. Things are going to change. It's going far right. Boots on the ground.
It already is, bro.
We're going to be living in Gary.
Shit's going as far right as it can go.
You can guarantee that.
All right, spin the wheel.
Whoa.
Saltado again?
We had hot dogs.
Do it tomorrow.
It's a conference.
Oh, we're eating steak.
Yeah, what do we do?
We'll have to do it Monday.
Should we re-spin?
No, no, no.
Let's turn Lomo Saltado into an acronym, and we'll do that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What if we make Lomo Saltado?
We make Lomo Saltado.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, yeah.
He'll make Lomo Saltado tomorrow.
Not tomorrow.
Do it Friday.
No, we'll do it with Lomo Steaks while we eat them.
We're doing the...
Okay.
All right.
Who's going to be able to make them?
Donnie.
Okay.
All right, he can make it for us Friday.
You're right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Either way.
All right.
We also have Eggnog Friday.
Oh, God.
Not in Lomo.
What are the rules there?
There are none.
We're just going to...
It's going to be a casual drink.
It's not going to be a contest.
All right.
I'll have more than you. I'm going to to be a contest. I'll have more than you.
You're going to get a buzz.
You will not have more than me.
You know, we do casual drinking so well here.
Yeah, I mean, it's going to get out of hand.
Should we add a wrinkle?
Eggnog, is it rum or whiskey in there?
What's in it?
Rum.
You can't even make either, right?
Can we spin to find out what alcohol we're putting into the eggnog?
Oh, God damn it, Nick.
Yes.
It should be mezcal.
Are we making the eggnog or are we buying the eggnog?
We'll buy it.
So there will become alcohol in it.
You can get alcohol free.
Can you get alcohol free?
Why don't you just repeat what he said?
Alcohol free eggnog is so good.
It is good.
All right, so we'll get mezcal andnog is so good. It is good.
All right, so we'll get mezcal and rum.
Hennessy.
Hennessy.
Loco.
Yeah, we can just... Period.
Period every round, every time someone finishes.
It's just going to be a casual drink, right?
Yeah, casual.
What's like Sprite?
Beer?
What would be like beer?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, guys.
Can we just drink eggnog?
And ketchup.
No, I'd rather not. I'd rather make it fun. The Bud Light in your eggnog. Bud drink eggnog? And ketchup. No, I'd rather not.
I'd rather make it fun.
The Bud Light in your eggnog.
Bud Light eggnog.
Imagine that poop.
Oh.
All right, well, so Oregon Trail tomorrow, new one?
You get it set up, TJ?
Yeah, sure.
I can look into it if you can save.
I assume you can, but.
Okay, great.
And Jerry's going to be our hunter.
I'm out tomorrow.
Do we know the way?
Why?
Neurologist.
Wait.
Yeah, that's good that you're...
Did you mean to say it like that?
Yeah.
You also are the one who pushed for the new one.
What do you mean?
New Oregon.
Yeah, because I just think you guys will have more fun.
Okay.
It'll just be a repeat of the last...
Where are you going to be tomorrow?
The Nerf Allin Jazz.
Do we know if there's hunting on the new one, like there was hunting?
It has to be.
It has to be.
It has to be.
You don't know.
We're going to fucking attack this trail.
Good.
Jerry, you ready?
Yep.
Let's fucking just make Oregon quickly.
I think you just have to wear your eye patch, Jerry.
Yeah, I think I got it.
All right.
That'll make it a little harder?
Probably, yeah.
For the hunting?
Yep.
Want a little preview?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's dead.
Okay.
Good music.
Looks the same.
Oh, good.
There's an update available.
It's the nature of games today.
They'll put out something half-finished.
Oh, God.
Oh, it got woke.
Wait, what did it say?
It said they have playable Native American characters.
It's got Christopher Columbus on it.
Oh, this is going to rule.
Oh, that looks nice. Oh, this is going to rule. Oh, that looks nice.
Oh, this is going to rule. Tomorrow I'm very
excited.
Oh!
David?
Alright, so we'll play tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm excited. Love it.
The wagon was stuck immediately.
See everyone tomorrow.
Yak Organ Trail. Give me that. It's the act That's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankees
Love is the act