The Yak - Hot Dog Eating Competition Ended In A Yak | The Yak 4-7-22
Episode Date: April 7, 2022Chestnut Has CompetitionYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello!
Happy opening day! It's hot Yak. It's the Yak. Oh, happy opening day.
It's hot dog time.
Welcome in.
First ever hot dog opening day, hot dog eating competition for the Yak.
I don't know where Roan is.
He's on his way.
He just walked in.
Feels good.
Feels good to have this competition. Now, we did do this competition on a Tank Thursday, so the Tank was more into the hot dogs than opening day.
Tank is not here. Tank is not here. He's in Washington, D.C.
So what we're going to do, it will be a three-man competition. Jerry, Steven, Owen,
and then next Thursday, I will let Tank try
to win the crown.
Now, go ahead.
As it stands, the winner's going to get $100
from you. Well, Jerry already
hit me up for more, so I'm $135.
Okay. I'll also match
the $135. $170.
Now, here's the question, though.
Do we give the winner today?
No.
270, you got to wait until Frank.
Wait until Frank.
Frank, and then we'll decide the real winner.
Well, I think that the second place I was proposing to-
But Frank has to buy in.
What do you mean?
If he wants to compete next Thursday.
What do you mean?
Or does he get a buy?
He's not in the competition.
This is the inaugural ceremonial dog that Ron and I are going to eat.
All right, gotcha.
Hear me out, though.
It's like hitting the gun.
Second place, $50.
Okay.
Third place, I peed on $2, and third place has to put the pee dollars.
So it incentivizes keeping on going for second place.
I'll also pee on it.
You can also pee on these dollars.
I will also pee on those dollars.
On these two dollars.
And they have to be walleted.
These dollars have to be walleted.
You can't just take the dollars.
I love that.
And you can't discard them.
I love that.
That's what I was doing.
I was looking for a plastic bag.
All we had was these gloves so I could pee in.
When I have to pee, I'll go pee a little bit.
Just to drop.
I got some scratch-offs, too.
Just for fun.
Just for a little bit of fun.
I mean, it's Masters.
It's opening day, so I paid on some money.
I got some scratch-offs.
Some festivities of it.
Some hot dogs.
Inaugural hot dogs being eaten by Ronan and myself.
Do you want to see the graphics?
Yeah.
Let's see the graphics.
Whoa.
Yes.
What changed?
Oh!
Come on, man.
Look at that.
Dude, Jerry.
Jerry looks like Ebro.
Jerry looks like a jazz player.
Oh, man.
Jerry looks like he should be driving a Lambo in Dubai.
Yeah.
Yes.
I like that look for you, Jerry.
I love that look for you. That's Florida, Jerry. Yeah. Yeah. I like that look for you, Jerry. I love that look for you.
That's Florida, Jerry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so.
How's the back, Jerry?
Clean.
Yeah?
You liked it?
Did you show it?
Yeah.
I'm not going to show it.
It might be some scratches on it.
Oh, that clean.
Oh.
Nice.
For you, is that toes?
No.
No, nails.
Nails on toes.
Toes have nails.
I ordered 50 hot dogs, probably too many.
Steven said that he was trying to do six.
No, no, no.
That's not what I'm trying to do.
I'm just saying like realistically.
I put the lines out last night, and I think that they're fair.
I put Owen at nine and a half plus 110.
Why?
I think that you said you could do 10 do 10 yeah but that was like just he was talking out of his bluster yeah it was blustering he was
blustering people at face value and i put myself at six and a half and jerry at five and a half
six hot dogs a lot of hot dogs well we're not like professional eaters so this is gonna be
different than i've been a a half is a little disrespectful.
Yeah, I mean, I just had one.
I could easily eat ten more.
So I was saying last night it would be very funny if I just casually,
like, accidentally won my own contest.
Yeah, side dogs.
Like, I was just noshing.
Put it down fast, team side dogs.
Shit, I ate ten of these.
Not good technique.
It's going to be different than a normal hot dog eating competition
though normal hot dog eating competition is gross they stuff their face they go speed this is an
endurance competition graze so i think that only until i'm gonna i'm gonna we're gonna do it right
up until the first pitch right up until mlb season starts that's 220 cubs brewers i think i'll give a five minute period at the end that you can go
all out five minute period otherwise it has to be like reasonable you know i don't want to see
any stuffing of the face yeah it's a casual eat as we go gotcha. Gentleman's rules. Gentleman's rules.
Any other rules we need to think of?
Yes.
There's 10 on each plate, by the way, so that's a good way to keep track.
Steven, are you going to ask about the bathroom rule?
Bathroom and throwing up. What are you so worried about?
Throwing up, you're out.
No, actually, I shouldn't say that.
Throwing up is not out.
If you eat your throw up, you're back in.
Yes.
That's always the rule.
It's always been the rule.
If you eat your throw up, you're allowed back in. But if you heave, you leave. You heave, you leave. You eat up, you're back in. Yes. That's always the rule. It's always been the rule. If you eat your throw up,
you're allowed back in. But if you heave, you leave.
You heave, you leave. You eat it, you're back in. You don't even have to eat all of it.
Just another gentleman's rule of
if you attempt to eat your throw up, you're back in.
Are pisses wild?
I don't think we should allow pisses.
Why would you need to go to the bathroom?
It's a solid.
So go before. And take the $2 with you.
Yeah, yeah.
See if you can fill it up a little bit.
I can't wait to watch someone have to put it in their pot.
Pat.
Pat.
Hot dog.
You want one?
Come on in.
Pat, please.
Opening day.
Here.
Get him a dog.
Get him a dog.
Have a dog.
It's opening day. I'm having to celebrate. All right. There we go. There we go. That's going to have a dog. Get him a dog. Have a dog. It's opening day.
I'm having to celebrate.
All right.
There we go.
There we go.
That's going to have a dog.
Remember, it's a Frank.
We're having a hot dog eating competition.
Love it.
They're really nice.
Where are these from?
They're very nice.
They're papaya dogs.
Papaya dogs.
Yum.
Very good.
They look great.
All right.
So condiments allowed if you'd like them.
There's relish.
There's onions.
There's ketchup.
There's mayo.
There's mayo.
Whatever you want. You know, Frank does like to there's ketchup, there's mayo, whatever you want.
You know, Frank does like the raw dog.
Yeah, I like to raw dog myself, but you're allowed to do it.
Now, what's your guys' take?
Now, what if I was to start off with just eating the dogs and then save the buns later?
I think that goes against the gentleman's rule.
Okay.
I think you got to just eat it.
To me, that's gross.
Yeah, this is a competition.
Envision it in the backyard at a barbecue.
Casual.
And, like, you just stand up and you're like, whoa.
Casual.
I've had nine hot dogs.
That's how it's got to be.
I still feel pretty good.
Right, I still feel kind of light.
That's how it's going to go.
Hell yes.
Anything else?
If I can get some sort of verbal confirmation when you finish a dog,
just so I can put this score up correctly.
Ronan and I can do that.
Right.
Ronan and I can tell you when a dog is done.
Someone's just going to have to govern Che in the booth.
I'll try and keep an eye on him.
I'll keep a loose eye.
I'll come in there if that's easier.
You guys train?
Yeah, we have open seats.
Why not come in?
Yeah, no, you got to sit in here.
Okay.
Absolutely. I'm going to run to the bathroom before we start. Okay. Why not come in? Yeah, no, you got to sit in here. Okay. Absolutely.
I'm going to run to the bathroom before we start.
Okay.
Oh, and I know how you train.
You know some of what I did.
Oh.
I've been working for this.
I know you had the four shamrock shakes last night.
Those were good.
I know you smoked a fatty before you came in.
You smoked a fatty?
That was good as well.
And then I've been walking, and I just had two cookies from a tote from McDonald's this morning.
To kind of get it going?
To sort of like start the stomach.
Yes.
Walking is smart because you kind of work up a little bit of appetite.
Gentleman's workout.
Gentleman's workout for some gentleman dogs.
Do we want to put up a poll?
Who do we think is going to win?
Sure. I can't wait to see someone have to put up a poll? Who do we think is going to win?
Sure.
I can't wait to see someone have to put piss dollars in their wallet.
Steven's just an interesting
odds maker, though. I don't know why
he's the one that made the odds. If he was Vegas,
it would just be
a wonky
thing to gamble on.
Jerry should be the favorite. You think
so? Yeah.
Jerry's just proved to us yesterday that he's ready to start losing weight.
You could just say I'm the chubbiest.
No.
I'm saying it's all right.
You're built like a bulldog.
You're built like a bulldog.
You're built like a bulldog.
Steven's going to be the one that I'm going to get the most angry at because he's going
to break the rules and I'm going to have to like, you know, scold him.
He's going to try to stuff him in his face.
And if there's some kind of cheating, I think that the second place winner's money should
have to get peed on too.
So it de-incentivizes everybody.
It's just a little piss.
Man, those look sexy.
Yeah, they look good.
You peel them back like that.
Whoa.
I'm all right.
Thank you. Because the fries could weigh you down. Yeah, they look good. You peel them back like that? I'm alright, thank you.
Because the fries could weigh you down.
But I think if you took out the
dogs and ate with the buns, it'd be hard
to, like... What if you ate more
of the dogs than the buns? Yeah, you wouldn't
keep track. It'd be hard to pair
them up. Are we allowed water
DCs or anything?
Water DCs. I got DCs for everyone.
Oh, you did?
DCs make you hungry, right? According to Trump? Yeah, water, water, DCs. I got DCs for everyone. Oh, you did? DCs are nice.
DCs make you hungry, right?
According to Trump.
Yeah.
And they pop the bubbles in your belly.
Yeah.
Like a bunch of DCs will make room.
You can kind of burp it out.
I'm excited for this.
This is awesome.
This feels like an inaugural thing.
It really does, yeah.
I feel like an inaugural hot dog eating.
And I'm going to up the prize every year.
It's just going to make it bigger and bigger.
I like to put on the contest.
I like to see my boys eat.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's exciting.
It is very funny that we came up with this idea as a Frank stopper,
and then he's just like, I'm not here.
Shit.
So it kind of worked.
But next week, next week it will work.
We'll see if Frank can do it next week.
What are you doing there, Jerry?
You got the Yagas on?
You got the Valencia on?
Wait, what should we, if Frank finishes fourth on Thursday,
next Thursday, you got to do a poop dollar.
Yeah, I was really thinking about a poop dollar,
but I was like, I don't know if I can bring poop into the office.
But pee, I feel like, is just, is water.
Pee is just glorified water.
A lot of glory to it.
But is it only Frank that we're adding on next show?
Are you sure we shouldn't get Mints involved?
Ooh.
I've seen his banana.
Or, yeah, what if he just eats bananas on the side?
And what if he goes bananas against hot dogs?
If he sees how many bananas he can put down.
If Frank finishes last, he's got to remake the Olivia Munn gif.
It's like all those hot dogs in a slow-mo cam.
Until we get it right.
Yes.
It can't be the first take unless he gets it on the first take.
TJ, last thing we got to do before we start, can you spin the wheel?
This would be very unfortunate if we ended up with a slap or a wet.
Or a lunch even.
Or a lunch, even. Or a lunch, even.
It would all be kind of bad.
It would be very, very unfortunate if we have to eat wet hot dogs.
If we get a lunch, it'll just be the hot dogs, no?
No, you've got to get a hot dog.
Yeah, it could be anything.
And you've got to bring your hot dogs in the shower.
Oh, yeah.
You've got to bring your tray in.
Okay.
Spin it. It smells to bring the tray in. Okay. Spin it.
It smells like checkers in here.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
The wheel is just.
The wheel is letting us focus today.
It's not going to get us all distracted.
Congratulations to the wheel.
What are the people saying, TJ?
Are they ready to go?
A lot of people looking for Billy.
I don't know why.
Yeah. He's not part of this. people saying tj they ready to go a lot of people looking for billy i don't know why uh yeah he's
not he's not part of this this is a billy's food challenges are against like restaurants yeah and
self he's not against other people that's not how he operates it's when billy's food challenges are
the food beats billy because like if he wins this i'm like oh he did it no it's like he's got to go
and try the Impossible Burger
or something like that.
Or if Papaya Dog had a certain amount of dogs,
that was their challenge.
I would love to have him try that.
But this is a very specific challenge.
Mano y mano is not what Billy's forte is.
Oh, no.
He's a man versus food type of guy.
Are you clipping in live, Tom?
Steven, would you grab your plates, please?
Yep.
We might need to get out.
I'll book on Owen, by the way.
I'll book on Owen.
Oh.
Why, Owen?
Maybe it's the PED.
Oh, we're just going to be zonked out.
140 pounds.
Okay.
Still, though, I feel like Owen's willpower is insane.
I'm going for it.
Steven is... Well, no one wants to piss dollars.' willpower is insane. I'm going for it. Steven is...
Well, no one wants to piss dollars.
You don't want to be in last place.
No.
And when does this go till?
What happens if someone finishes their tray?
220.
We have more.
I bought 50.
Okay.
I don't think.
220 is when we finish.
Right at first pitch.
When the MLB season starts, that's when this competition begins.
What do you think the most you've ever done in a full sitting is?
I did 12 when I actually competed in it.
Have you checked the temperature on these things?
Yeah, they're a little cold.
Oh, they're nice.
No, I think it'll be nice.
Yeah.
I could...
You did 12 at Nathan's?
I promise I just started my diet, so I can't...
Oh, no, this isn't that.
I also got a host.
This is my competition.
No, this isn't that.
I'm just asking because you've delved into this territory before.
Yeah, 12 was my number.
Yeah, 12 was a good-ass number.
And then what do you think is harder, doing 12 or doing the White Sox-Dave 9-9-9
or whatever that was?
9-9-9.
That was nine innings, nine beers, nine dogs.
Nine dogs, yeah.
That's tough. That's really tough. That's a tall order. That's nine dogs. Yeah. That's tough.
That's really tough.
That's a tall order.
That's a tall order indeed.
A lot of beer.
Are you guys ready?
Everyone good?
Any last words?
Again, the last five minutes of competition, we will allow stuffing your face.
Everyone?
Yeah.
Okay.
Ready?
Here we go.
Three, two, one.
And we're off. Okay. Ready? Here we go. Three, two, one. And we're off.
What if it turned out that...
I was thinking about what if it turned out like...
What if I came out of the closet in a year and I was like,
I just like putting on hot dog competitions.
It's all I like.
I like seeing my boys just eat hot dogs.
It just really gets me going.
This is the gayest competition I've ever done.
It is incredible.
It's lovely, though.
Look, you guys are just, yeah, go chowing down.
Jerry's a big bite bandit.
Yeah, he is.
He's three bites in, and now he's done it.
Jerry's got his first done.
Put it on the board.
I hit the rap.
Put it on the board.
Wait, there's Owen, too?
Oh, I thought Owen did. No, Owen's working on his. I'll eat one more out of salad. Put it on the board. Wait, there's Owen too? Oh, I thought Owen did.
No, Owen's working on his.
I'll eat one more out of salad.
Yeah, yeah, please.
Owen and I will have another one.
Just a little nibble.
It's good.
The casing on these, I mean, as Frank says,
anytime he reviews a hot dog, all he talks about is the snap.
The snap.
And it's got a good snap.
Mmm.
Very good dog.
Good snap.
It's going to be a great chef.
Jerry's squeezing the life out of them.
He really is.
He's just, he's strangling his dog.
He's like a pet bird.
Like a pet mouse or something like that that you don't want to squirm out of your head.
Jerry's off to an early, fast lead because he's almost lapped him.
No.
Yeah, no, you have.
What do you mean, no?
What do you mean, no?
It is hilarious.
I wonder if this is what the first Nathan's contest was actually like.
Maybe.
Were they just sitting around willy-nilly?
Because the first, I mean, Nathan's is like 100-plus years old, right?
Two.
Jerry's on two.
On two.
Owen's down one.
Jay's down one.
Steven's down one.
Yeah, I think it was like two guys that were just sitting out on July 4th
being like, I could eat more than you.
Which is American.
Yes, that is so American.
People love to have their own.
Why are you squeezing it down, Jerry?
Is that gentlemanly?
Does it just bite easier if you have it squeezed down?
For people at home, I'm going to make a Jerry hot dog,
and I'll put it out here for show and tell.
Just to show how he makes it?
This is what he's doing.
He's taking it, and he's just squeezing the life out of a hot dog.
Like that.
That's what he's eating every single time.
Sometimes they get served like that.
It's actually pretty smart.
Yeah, look at that.
Because the bread takes up room.
It's expanding.
Well, it's still the same amount of bread, Steven.
It's smushed.
Right.
But it's not like.
It'll be more work for it to expand.
It's still.
The same amount of bread.
You don't change the volume.
The volume has not changed.
That would happen to the bread in your stomach.
Right.
Are you saying it's a pre-chew?
Do you think there's a physical change?
I think it'll be easier to...
You'll have more room, basically.
It'll take longer for it to expand.
No, I disagree. I just took a bite.
It's the same thing.
Yeah, it's still a hot dog.
It's still a hot dog.
Jerry's down three.
Three.
Jerry could choke.
This guy's a monster.
But he is going to finish his tray, I bet.
And he's eating it in the correct manner.
It's not.
There's no speed.
Not gluttonous.
Everyone's doing it correctly.
Oh, and then on the Uber here, I watched Action Bronson make his favorite sandwich.
Yeah.
Jerry's taking a walk to the D.C.
Yeah.
That's one of my favorite videos.
What's the sandwich that he makes?
It's beautiful.
It's got this like.
It's a ribeye.
Yeah.
It's got this like residue from wine barrels on it.
Yeah, what was that?
We zoom in on Jerry's squeezing method here, TJ.
He's about to start his fourth hot dog.
They go out, pick some fresh basil, Parmesan.
All right, here we go.
Wait, Jerry.
Are you on four?
There it is.
Oh, Jerry, he's fucking crushing it.
My heart hurts after a dog and a half.
He's kind of reinventing the dog life.
I know.
What if Chestnut got his eyes on something like this?
Holy shit, I didn't know I could squeeze the life out of this dog.
My strategy was to...
Talking is allowed.
It's actually encouraged.
It was to get an early start.
Yeah.
And then rest.
Push again.
Get a little second wind.
And then that's the final push.
Yeah, because there is an intimidation factor that you've put into both Owen and Steven now.
Getting a third win.
You're going to get a second and a third win.
Steven is struggling with dog number two.
Steven looks like he's going to cry.
He's not struggling.
He's been starving himself for the last couple months.
How does it feel getting out of TB12, Steven?
And you didn't really say anything about how you prepared is it like uh disgusting to be eating something that's like not pure and
of the earth or is it uh is it a nice change of pace it's not great so i prepared yesterday i
had a bunch of snacks after yak like what um are we talking salty snacks are we talking some trail
mix nutty snacks. Interesting.
Why nuts?
Nuts are approved.
And then also, just like I wanted to get my stomach ready.
Two for Owen.
Eating a lot.
And then I did Mexican food last night.
Oh, wow.
Yes, I'm not feeling great today.
Are you done with two, Owen?
Your stuff?
Owen's had two.
He's stuffed.
Try Jerry's technique.
It'll be the saddest competition ever.
See how Jerry's technique works.
I don't throw up, so I think I'm just going to keep throwing up. Yeah, I throw up.
That's my problem.
Well, you could eat it.
Just a handful of it.
You throw up on the dog.
You throw up on the dog.
The dogs need the dogs.
I'll just load up.
The piss dollar has added a great, it's like relegation in European soccer.
You can't give up.
Nobody wants to. Two, up. Nobody wants to.
Two, Steven?
Nobody wants to finish it last.
Jerry's down four.
He's taking a break.
Jerry's taking a break.
How do you feel, Jerry?
So Jerry's at four.
Steven's at two.
Owen's at two.
I just want to burp.
Jerry's on pace to crush my projection.
Please burp into the mic if you do.
Oh, you have to.
Burps are worse than farts.
Oh, there it is.
The ozone?
For the other person smelling it.
Like, I'd rather smell it than somebody else's.
People are going to be so mad about this.
They're going to be like, I could have fucking beaten all of them.
Oh, yeah.
I could have gone so much faster.
That's all they could do?
People don't know.
This is actually a competition intended to just piss people off.
And they will get furious.
Oh, Owen's gone the Jerry method.
Owen trying to Jerry dog.
He is Jerry dogging it.
Whenever Frank eventually opens up his stand,
they should have one of the dogs be a Jerry dog.
It's just a guy in the back.
Like right before he hands it to you, he just squeezes it.
He's like, all right, here you go.
What does that guy do?
What time did we start?
We started at like 1.15.
So you're eight minutes in, four dogs in.
That's good.
Yeah, it's about a 65-minute competition.
Maybe we'll go exactly until 2.15,
then we'll have a five-minute until MLB.
That was good.
Who was that?
That was Jerry.
That was?
That was room for more dogs.
Jerry, I thought you were getting a second wind.
Are you already on your second wind?
The way he plays, he plays like a fucking flute.
A little saxophone.
Jerry, next time, you got to pause before you Jerry your dogs.
We got to watch it.
I just want to put down five and then relax.
Yeah, there it is. That's the
gif we're gonna make.
This is my fifth one.
TJ, would you guys like some dogs?
Yeah, I'll come get them. Come get a tray
of dogs. This is not disgusting to them yet.
It's probably disgusting to the boys.
Yeah. No, it's not?
Still very good. We'll be
disgusting in like 15 minutes. What do you mean?
Once you start feeling it. Yes. Once you start to feel it. Once you feel it in like 15 minutes. What do you mean? Once you start feeling it.
Yes, correct.
Once you start to feel it.
Once you feel it in like your elbows and your biceps.
Yeah.
Zah, how many do you want?
Take a tray.
Wait, but can you have Jerry just Jerry dog one of them for you?
One of you guys eat a Jerry dog.
Wait, move out of the way, Zah.
Here it goes. This is how you Jerry dog. Wait, move out of the way. Here it goes.
This is how you Jerry dog it.
Jerry, did you finish your fourth already?
Yeah, this is my fifth.
He's on his fifth.
TJ, that Jerry dog is for you.
Thanks, man.
There's a technique to the Jerry dogging.
I feel like you're like grandma.
I'm used to jerry-dog.
It's like the game you play when you put your hands on the bat.
Yeah.
Who can you?
Jerry-dogging to the top.
Oh, man. It hits you with the spoon if you don't jerry-dog right.
It's gross.
Cam Champ.
That's a good name.
Cam Champ.
Ooh, Cameron Champ.
Look at that.
Cameron's two Camerons?
What happened to Tiger?
Tiger, I think he's...
What?
I think he hit a bogey.
Yeah.
He's done.
He's washed.
Yeah, it's a wrap for Tiger and all the guys that...
Oh, there was a second thought on that one.
There he is, Tiger.
Right at 11.
Tiger.
Oh, Max is back to even.
Let's go.
Higo, Higgs.
We got Higo and Higgs.
Higgie.
Two Camerons.
Did you guys see what Trent bet on today?
Tiger Woods at the fairway the first time?
Yeah, it rolled off.
He showed the picture, though, but it was...
It's on the fairway, right?
It's kind of in the sand, but...
Second cut.
Wait, was it in the sand? No, no, no. It was, like, near the sand. Was it in the sand. Second cut. Wait, was it in the sand?
No, no, no.
It was like near the sand.
Was it in the sand?
It was not.
No, it looked like it was on the fairway.
Let me see the picture.
Jerry just finished his fifth.
How about some pouts?
Owen just finished his third.
All right, Owen.
And Owen is going through it.
Owen.
He's coming back, though.
No, he's coming back.
I'm going to rest.
Owen, that's three.
Take a rest.
Take a rest.
That's three for Steven. Oh, Jerry. Steven back. I'm going to rest. Oh, and that's three. Take a rest. That's three for Stephen.
Stephen's on three as well.
Stephen has finished his third.
At what point, Jerry, though, if you blow out the competition today,
you've got to also think where does –
Where's Hank's line?
Yeah, where's Frank's line?
Frank can eat a lot, man.
He didn't finish 50 nuggets.
Really? 49 and a half. He pocketed one. He didn't finish 50 nuggets. Really?
49 and a half.
He pocketed one.
He palmed the last half.
He palmed the last half of the nugget.
He could have easily just popped it in his mouth.
It's a whole big thing.
Is Brandon going to get to do this?
Because Brandon put down 50 nuggets.
Yeah, but Brandon.
Oh, yeah.
I will allow Brandon to compete against Frank next Thursday.
That's fine.
A little playing. That's fine. A little playing.
That's fair.
And you sure you don't want Mincy just to stand right outside the glass with a bunch of bananas,
see if he can finish a barrel of bananas, a bushel of bananas?
If Mincy wants.
Maybe Mincy can come in and eat a dog as fast as he can.
Oh, a fast dog.
Fast dog, slow dog.
Am I allowed to just stand up?
Yeah, you can do whatever you want.
I think you just got to stay in the room.
The room is your oyster.
Yeah.
You can even poop in the corner. Yeah, of course. I think you just got to stay in the room. The room is your oyster. Yeah. You could even poop
in the corner.
Yeah.
If you wanted to poop,
you could poop in the glove
that has the piss dollars in it.
World record for hot...
Oh, that's Joey Chestnut.
76 in 10 minutes.
Steven's on three, by the way,
just for whoever's keeping tabs.
Oh!
Yes.
Whoa, he's making room.
Whoa!
He's making room.
The reason I'm so insistent on the bathroom
is I did a challenge like this
like 10 years ago with a co-worker.
I bet him 50 bucks on the cost of burritos
he couldn't finish three Chipotle burritos
in an hour and a half.
And he did two in like 20 minutes.
But then he cleared room after in the bathroom.
I was going to say,
the reason why you insisted on the bathroom is you're autistic.
But, yeah, that's the same thing.
It should be clarified.
If you can go to the bathroom, it's a big difference.
It was like, Stephen, but that's also very you, like, to be like, all right, we're doing a competition.
Then immediately be like, let's get some ground rules.
I did say that.
I very much expected it. Where were you working at the time like an ad
tech startup it was uh i think it was the week of christmas so i was like were you steven you
strike me as a guy who's a big like oh our my office is sick we have a ping pong table and a
beanbag chair so it's funny you say that yeah no i did everything about you i know without
so before when i started at barcelona actually my start day was October 3rd, 2016, but I
signed my offer letter like mid-August.
I just had to wait for something.
So I knew that I was gone, and we had a ping pong table in the office.
Do you want me to put that catch up on?
This is your old office.
You had it.
At my old office.
Oh, you ran the table.
I was playing an hour and a half of ping pong a day to the point
where my manager sat me down i was like i don't really think you should be playing as much ping
pong wait wait cherry dog he's doing it that's amazing look at that were you were you just
crushing people steven i had a i had a seven game series with a dude i ended up beating me um
and i played a lot a lot a lot of interoffensive rivalries.
They shouldn't have had a ping pong table if they didn't want you to play.
I love Steven so much.
Did your manager know that you were on your way out?
Not at the time when she had to talk with me.
Yeah.
Steven is literally like a side character from the league.
His friend group is the league.
Talking shit to his co-workers
About fantasy football and ping pong
Just for hours on end
And like burrito bets
Where was the burrito bet
Did you just have it in the
In like your
Whatever
Your lunchroom
Yeah it was in the office
Again it was like Christmas week
So I mean we weren't really
Yeah right
Right
Oh Jerry's got a face on now.
A little sauerkraut for Owen.
I ain't going with that.
Okay.
I might go sauerkraut this year.
Yeah?
I might include sauerkraut.
You got to pick one every summer.
Yeah, just sprinkle some sauerkraut.
I think I can handle it.
Plus, I like, what is, is it pickled cabbage?
I don't know.
Sounds about right.
Yeah.
Oh.
It's gross. It's gross. Get mincey about right. Yeah. Oh. It's gross.
It's gross.
Let's get Mincy in here. It's German.
It's Bavarian.
Yeah, just get him in here.
Should we do fast dog, faster dog?
The wheel?
Let's see if Mincy.
What's a wheel that we could sprinkle in that would make it tough on Mincy?
We could have Jerry make him a fast dog.
Yeah.
I'm struggling.
Are you?
No, you're not.
What are you talking about?
You're struggling.
You're on your sixth dog.
Yeah, but now it's a taste now.
Yeah, but you're only 15 minutes in and you're six dogs in.
You're four from 15 to train.
I think after this one I'm going to take a 25-minute rest.
25 minutes?
That's the rest of the competition.
You keep on saying that, too.
That is not true.
You said that after every dog.
Yeah, you have.
Psychological gamesmanship.
Yeah, Steven's working on his fourth.
Owen just bit into his fourth.
Jerry is about to finish his sixth.
I don't know about about to finish.
You got dog throat.
Pete!
This kraut was big.
Yeah.
Would you like, Mincy, will you eat a fast dog for us?
Yes.
I'll tell you.
Hold on.
Let's make Jerry have Jerry.
Jerry has a style of making the dogs.
He preps it for you.
I'm going to prep it for you, Mincy.
Just me one dog.
Just going to prep it.
I feel like I'm going to be very good at this.
All right, watch out.
Let's make sure he's on camera for the prep.
And we kind of smoosh it up a little bit.
That's prepped.
That's a Jerry dog.
It's like a taquito at 7-Eleven.
How fast do you think you can do it?
Pretty damn fast.
Okay.
Here, face up this camera right here.
He's wearing a Team Porknoy hat.
He's going to crush this.
Oh, watch out.
The Jerry dog's falling apart.
Okay, so like next right here?
All right.
Hold on.
Yeah.
I'll do the timer.
I'll get a timer.
I got a timer.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-oh.
Oh, Jerry.
Oh, come on, Jerry.
If you heave, you leave unless you throw up into your hand and eat it.
All right.
Wait.
I got a timer.
Ready, set, go.
Oh, my God. Don't choke. Don't choke. Oh my god Don't choke
Oh god
He's gotta finish it
He's gotta finish it
He's tapping out
He's tapping out
Don't choke
We don't have
Move into sound
Show us I just thought. Move into sound.
Show us.
Crap, you're performing.
Oh, come on, bro. Oh, no, no, no.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Open to the camera, to the camera.
To that camera.
31-33.
That's not bad.
No, I thought I could do it all at once.
It's definitely a two-by-year.
You need to do half and half. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Stephen just finished with four. Oh, no, Jerry's not bad. No, I thought I could do it all at once. It's definitely a two-biter. You need to do half and half.
Yeah.
Oh, Stephen just finished with four.
Oh, no, Jerry.
Jerry's about to heave.
No, Jerry, no.
Jerry.
That's a Diet Coke.
Jerry.
Oh, my God.
Two-handed Diet Coke.
Is that bad?
It's two-handed the Coke.
Slow down, Jerry.
You can take another one for the road.
Are you going to? You take another one for the road. Take a slow dog for the Coke. Slow down, Jerry. You can take another one for the road. Are you going to?
You take another one for the road.
Take a slow dog for the road.
No problem.
Steven's got his fourth down.
Owen's got his.
Three and a half.
Owen is trending towards a piss dollar unless Jerry heaves.
Yeah, and Steven is kind of caught up to Jerry here.
You don't have to finish that, Jerry.
No, Jerry's about to finish his sixth.
Yeah, but
Stephen's kind of like... He's on his ass.
Stephen is pacing better than Jerry.
Yes, yes. He's a tortoise.
Yeah, Jerry had three down in like five minutes.
Turtle in the hair.
Just take a second, Jerry.
All you got to do is not finish last.
You got like 40 minutes left.
Big Cat, do you think if you had 10 minutes, you could beat all of us?
No.
When I did it for the Nathans, it was a terrible, terrible experience.
I went as hard as I possibly could.
That was when you came on my radar, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Steven found out about Barstool
because I did an interview on Mike and Mike.
I've got to check these guys out.
Oh, that guy sounded cool.
Steven's mustering up.
I've been mustering.
Interesting.
I like the spicy mustard.
This is the yellow, I mean that's good
Does the spicy make you
Eat a little bit faster?
I don't know
I think it makes it more enjoyable
I like the Chicago dogs
But those are
Absolutely couldn't put down those
No those would
That would be
It's a little much
A different competition
What is a
Dumb question
What's celery salt?
It's different
Why is it different from regular salt?
I don't know
Maybe there's celery in it
Yeah it's good
I like the jalapenos too Yeah Or just a little pepper Why is it different from regular salt? I don't know. Maybe there's celery in it. Yeah, it's good.
I like the jalapenos, too.
Yeah, or just a little pepper, a little spice.
Jerry's got the pen going, which that can calm you down a little bit. That kind of like sifts everything down towards the bottom.
Are you worried that you blew your DC load early, that you finished your Diet Coke already?
No.
Maybe we'll find a way to get some more.
Going four?
Owen's got the four.
Owen, 6-4-4, 20 minutes into the competition.
Unbelievable work by everybody.
Very gentlemanly paces.
Nobody's been gluttonous.
We've seen some style.
Style clashes make championships.
That's true.
Classics.
This is, yeah.
And we have two different styles.
Steven just jogging behind like a Tunisian foot hunter in the bush,
just right behind a gazelle for days.
He's already on to his fifth one.
He's already noshing on the fifth now that it's nice and dressed.
And meanwhile, Owen just, Owen's fighting.
Owen is absolutely fighting for his life over there.
If any of these are winners
they'll be added to the pot.
Fantastic. Yes. That's fantastic
news. I'm trying to stay afloat.
Hopefully someone throws up.
Yeah. Just stay in.
Just be afloat to maybe make a final
push.
Go dog.
Zoopy have one. Let me dress it up for him.
Have a Jerry make it for you. No, dog. Zoopy, have one. Let me dress it up for him. Let Jerry make it for you.
Jerry, make it.
Bring one over.
Bring a plain one over.
Yeah, just give me a plain one.
Bring a plain one.
Just grab whichever one you want.
Yeah.
Make it for you.
Make it for you.
Make it nice.
Make it nice for him, all right?
Uh-oh.
Hold up.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, there you go.
Beautiful.
Yeah, no, what do you mean you got to eat it?
You get to eat it?
It's a gift.
It's a gift from Jerry. It's a Jerry dog. Yeah. It's go. Beautiful. Yeah, no, what do you mean you got to eat it? You get to eat it? It's a gift from Jerry.
I know.
It's a Jerry dog.
Yeah.
It's a good dog.
How is it?
Good?
It's a good dog.
Yeah, it's a good dog.
It's a good dog.
It eats nicer.
It eats a little bit more aerodynamic when you squeeze it down.
Yeah.
I like that you just like.
Dog that eats.
No, no, no, no.
He cleaned his hands.
Come on.
He cleaned his hands?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's fine.
I just used the bathroom before I came in here.
Wait, so, Steven, how many are you on?
This is my fifth one.
Fifth?
Jerry's taking a break.
Anyone want some fries?
Six.
I'll take a fry.
Take a fry.
Change it up.
It's a paste fry.
Yeah.
Not bad.
What is in the middle?
Is that ketchup?
I think there's also some type of bean dip.
I seriously do.
That's a New York thing, isn't it?
Like the baked beans.
Yeah, chili dogs maybe?
No, it's just like actual baked beans.
Hank, you want a dog?
He had a couple earlier, I think. He did? Out of this? Hank said he's trying to get in shape. Hank, you want a dog? He had a couple earlier, I see.
He did?
Yeah.
Out of this?
Hank said he's trying to get a Jeep.
Oh, no.
Out of his own.
Nice.
It's nice to have a dog on opening day.
It is.
You're going back?
I'll go back.
I'll eat a dog.
I'll eat some dog.
I don't know if I like sauerkraut, actually.
Summer sauerkraut is done.
It might be cancer.
It's over. I've never had sauerkraut before
it's not good no i don't like it it's not
who likes it is it for old people i think germans i don't think anybody's seen what
just did there what do you do
germans like it yeah germans have to love it. Krauts.
Is that why they're called?
I think so.
I'm German.
Five.
Steven is five down.
Wow.
It's getting close.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, Steven, if I had to re-bet right now,
Steven looks like the live bet.
Yeah.
He's hot.
And Jerry has just stopped.
He just has stopped eating.
Steven has shown no pain. I'm taking a rest just has stopped eating. Steven has shown no pain.
I'm taking a rest.
Taking a rest.
Steven has shown no fatigue.
He has the eye of the tiger.
I watched the Dave Portnoy show last night.
Oh, I love that guy.
And?
Steven was on.
Oh, yeah.
How'd it go, Steven?
Verbal sparring?
Yeah, I mean, as good as it could have been, I thought.
We argued about Bruce Ernst and Tom Brady for a bit.
I got into it with Mike Florio today on Twitter.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Someone tagged me in something because he has a new article about Tom Brady
who's definitely going to Miami.
Warning.
Warning.
We can't play through those noises.
It's good defense. You can those noises. It's good defense.
You can use that.
It's good defense.
What happened, Steven?
We just had a fairly lengthy back and forth in the replies on Twitter.
Oh, really?
About what?
I questioned his reporting.
Oh, you never question another man's reporting.
I said with all due respect.
And I said I like him.
You're good.
I said I like him. You're good.
You're good.
I said I like him.
And I do like Fleur, but he's been wildly wrong.
And I just called him out on it.
Jerry, did your knees just buckle? Jerry's taking a walk.
Did your knees just buckle when you stood up?
She's going for another DC?
I don't know if that's the move.
Maybe.
You might be able to burp some extra space.
But the burp might turn into throw up.
You going mayo?
Go a little mayo.
That's how the French do it.
Just a packet of mayo.
That's how the Belgians do it.
A little mayo on their hot dog over there.
Steven, you taking a break?
Just for a second.
I'm all right.
Just a little water break.
Steven's, his mental fortitude is strong right now.
He's shown no quit.
He's shown no buckle in his knees.
Rowan, you do Pilates today?
I did. Nice.
I really did. Hell yes. I did yoga yesterday.
I think I'm a girl.
Yeah, no. I'm pretty sure
I'm a woman.
You did Pilates yesterday. That's why I asked.
Did you? No, you did yoga yesterday.
I thought you did Pilates yesterday.
That's why I asked if you did it again. I did hot yoga yesterday and Pilates class. Oh yeah, you're you did yoga yesterday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you did Pilates yesterday. No. That's why I asked if you did it again.
I did hot yoga yesterday and a Pilates class.
Oh, yeah, you're a chick, bro.
I'm a whole woman.
Jerry, you're on seven?
I'm five down.
I love puke so much.
You heave, you leave, Jerry.
I want him to puke.
Be careful, Jerry.
Jerry was pump faking that pretty bad.
Are you heaving from just almost being in the...
You got 35 minutes left in the competition.
Oh, and also it might be a...
He might heave.
Are you a heave when you hear...
Ew, ew.
What is it turning into?
It's turning into Canadian bacon in your mouth. I don't see a world where I finish this dog. That's all I'm... Ew, ew. What is it turning into? It's turning into Canadian bacon in your mouth.
I don't see a world where I finish this dog.
That's all I'm saying.
You're on your seventh.
Take a break, Jerry.
But you already smashed it.
No, no, stop.
That's not real.
That's not right.
That's not real or right. That's not okay. He's not right. That's not real or right.
That's not okay.
He's going to turn into that Family Guy scene where they take Epitac.
Oh my God.
There he is.
I love it.
The texture now is burying me.
It's in your lip like you're packing.
It's burying you.
You have to chew it so much.
I know.
That's the thing.
That's why they dip.
See if you could dip it in the Diet Coke.
See if that'll make it a fizzy.
That is true.
They use Crystal Light.
Pour a little Diet Coke on one.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
All the aspirin teams go.
By the way, go to Raising Cane's.
Raising Cane's, best chicken fingers in the world.
Yes, Raising Cane's. This hot dog eating's is the best chicken fingers in the world. Yes, Raising Cane's.
This hot dog eating competition
is brought to you by the good folks over at Raising Cane's.
After these dogs, I know what I'm going to
be able to go for is some craveable
chicken finger meals.
You can order them online at RaisingCanes.com
How do you spell the word
tenuous?
Give me a second wind. I'm hungry again.
Tenuous?
Tenuous. T-E-N-E.
I would say T-E-N-U-O-U-S.
T-E-N-E-O-U-S.
Tenuous?
Tenuous?
Tenious?
Oh, Ron was right.
U-O-U-S.
I was eliminated in the first round of my fourth grade spelling bee.
You're an eater.
You're a burrito man.
You're not a –
They boned me.
Listen to this story.
Oh, they boned you?
So I get called up.
It's at the middle school.
It's a huge deal.
I'm dressed up.
I'm in slacks.
I'm in a button-down shirt.
I go up there.
I finish like top three in my class.
So all the schools go to the middle school for it.
My word was Friday.
Couldn't have been more confident. The guy before me, his word was tree. So I'm like, all the schools go to the middle school for it. My word was Friday. Couldn't have been more confident.
The guy before me, his word was tree.
So I'm like, Friday, no problem.
Friday, F-R-I-D-A-Y.
Capital F-R-I.
Kind of a dickhead does it to a fucking 10-year-old.
I mean, they're right.
You were wrong.
Right, correct.
But that was a shitty thing to do.
Oh, so.
You're trying to trap up a kid on a capital letter.
So you would rather, you'd rather just give out
everybody participation.
Yeah.
Everybody.
Oh, if you're close enough,
we're going to let you
pass.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It's not even going down
his mouth.
It's just holding in there.
It's just holding with the
dog.
Zoom in a little.
Zoom in just a little.
Jerry!
Oh, it's losing it, too.
Oh, no!
No, no!
That's his hair, though.
There's still his hair in that.
Oh, no. Oh, no. That's his hair. There's still his hair in that.
Oh, no. Oh, God.
Get it away.
Get it away.
Get it away.
Put it by the door.
Put it by the door.
Who has ever blown a lead for a security?
I'm down six.
That's a terrible performance by him.
That's six for Owen.
That's six for Owen.
He's tied for first.
Owen is powering right now.
Oh, it's tied for first.
Wait, are you actually?
You didn't finish the six.
No, there are ten in there, so there we go.
He's got four left.
Jerry.
So good on Jerry.
Unbelievable comeback by Owen.
I didn't throw up.
No, you did not.
Owen's coming out the side.
I was coming out the side. I didn't throw up. No, you did not. What was coming out the side? I was throwing up my coke.
I didn't throw up.
So gross.
Oh, Billy, you want a dog?
That's so gross.
You want one?
Oh, my.
No, it's not.
You're not in the competition.
You want a dog?
I just need to create one later.
Okay.
Later on.
All right, all right.
No, I told you. You can't be in this competition it's man
versus man you're man versus restaurant yeah that's your that's your forte very classy work
so far let's uh slow down a bit no 40 minutes jerry's got three and a half left owen's got
four left steven has five a clean five. Steven is not sweating
but he's also not pushing himself.
Oh no. I'm good.
I'm so happy I didn't actually throw up.
Yeah, me too.
That towel still
definitely has all your hair.
Your back hair wrapped in it.
If you throw up on your back hair towel.
One of two days for Jerry.
It's just your towel.
It's like a dog's towel.
Yeah, it's got the stink.
Not that there's a stink.
It smells nice.
It smells like that cologne.
That brick you were wearing yesterday.
The gold.
What's it called?
Gold brick?
Yeah.
A million, right?
A million.
A million.
A million.
A million.
By the way, technically speaking, Jerry is still in the lead.
If the competition were to end right this second, he would win.
And Stephen Che would be stuffing piss into his wallet.
Jerry's got six dogs.
Six and a half.
Six and a half dogs down.
Owen's got six total.
How do we go at the end?
Is it halves?
Is it totals?
Is it half dogs?
Is it the amount of dog that's left?
I think it's the amount of dog.
We measure the dogs.
We measure the dogs. We measure the dogs.
Like, we'll get the sticks out.
Uh-huh.
Just the textures bother me right now.
I got to figure out a way.
Maybe have a fry.
Maybe have a french fry.
Change a paste fry.
Or maybe some sauerkraut.
Because I think that maybe that's something sauerkraut does.
There's some fiber in it that would help with digestion, maybe?
Yeah.
Do a scratch ticket.
Do we got any?
Yeah, do a scratch.
Do a scratch ticket.
Right there.
Oh, God. That. Do a scratch ticket. Right there.
Oh, God.
That's the wettest.
That was hilarious.
Oh, fuck.
Happy opening day, everyone.
Happy opening day.
It's going to be a great baseball season.
Oh, I'm so excited.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be a... Phillies might win it all.
Tom Scabelli put in a bet that the Phillies are going to win it all this year,
and that is fucking sharp.
I'm—
Plus 2,500 on the Barstool Sportsbook.
Oh, shit.
I might do that.
Kind of a good bet.
I'm of the mindset that whatever—
The Cubs can stay competitive for a decent portion of the summer.
I'll be happy.
The dogs make you tired.
The dogs will.
The calories. It's like the— I don't got patience for this. The dogs make you tired. The dogs will. The calories.
It's like the... I don't got patience for this.
I can't do this. What? I don't got the patience for that. Scratch-offs? Give it to me.
Give it to me. Because if we win,
it's part of the prize.
So I would love to see
the boys get some more
prize. Throw it in the slush fund.
As a former season ticket holder
at Big Cap, what was opening day meaning to you?
Still have them, actually.
Okay.
Well, as a guy who went all the time.
Yeah, opening day is the best.
I mean, it's always, I mean, at least in Chicago, terrible weather.
But there's some buzz about opening day that just, like,
the only buzz you can get similar to opening day is playoff baseball.
It's like there's this excitement in the air.
I don't know.
I also love, like, it's usually overcast, raw day.
Kind of cold out.
Yeah, get some drinks in you, feeling good.
Your winter's over.
That feel.
There's like a second opening day, though, once it's really nice out.
Yeah, that's true.
When it's, like, really warm out.
And that's another anew.
Spring is sprung anew.
Yeah, one of my favorite.
Oh, we got $1.
Let's go.
Jerry, throw it in the pot.
Throw it in the pot.
Jerry just jerryed up his half dog.
One of my favorite things to do is go to an entire, like,
weekend series in the summer.
Because you really get the vibe of how the team's doing.
Oh, no.
That's six for Che.
Dog is fighting back.
Che is on six.
I'm just shitting my pants.
Oh, my God.
For real?
Yeah, I sharted.
That's allowed.
It's allowed.
We discussed the rules very assiduously.
We never said anything about pooping out your butt, pooping the hot dog out your butt.
But think about what's going on inside of you.
It is, like you said yesterday, a little Rube Goldberg machine, some engineering.
The food is just getting pushed through you like a shovel pushing some mud through a tunnel right now.
It is gross.
I love the way you describe anatomy.
It's beautiful.
It's gross what's happening right now.
How awesome would it be if I hit one of these scratch tickets for like $3,000?
Or like $1,000.
And you guys started just puking everywhere and going nuts.
Yeah, we started eating his puke.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
I don't know if competitive eaters
have regular people like us
have a second gear for this.
I feel like the price could be a million bucks
on you can eat what you can eat.
I think you should start yakking.
Or I think you also die at some point.
You know that contest at the mall
where the woman drowned from drinking too much water
to try and get Jonas Brothers or something like that?
There was one for a Nintendo Wii a woman died on the radio
for. Wait, is everybody tied right
now? Is it 666?
Let's see. Let's take a look.
Satanic.
Jerry's got
six and a half done.
Oh, this is awesome. Yeah, this is actually
going to be a really good finish.
Nobody wants to piss. Everybody wants the $170.
I'm fine with $270.
Owen looks like he's a bite behind Jerry,
and Steven is about two bites behind Jerry.
So Jerry's holding on to his lead.
If Jerry ends up winning, it will be an incredible strategy.
It's like sprinting the first First three quarters of the race
Went hard
Do you want a Jerry dog?
You want a dog?
You sure?
Sure
He'll make you a Jerry dog
No problem
Just make you one
Right there, right there
No, no, no, right here
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there
Right there, right there, right there
Right there, right there, right there
Right there, right there, right there
Right there, right there, right there, right there
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Jerry, it feels like you're a little bit... You're a little bit phlegmy.
Are the hot dogs making you...
Are they giving you phlegm?
Yeah.
That's interesting.
That's an interesting biological response
to eating a bunch of hot dogs.
Yeah.
It doesn't make you have snot in your nose.
I think you'd have less...
Like, it would just absorb all...
You know what I mean, Owen?
That's actually how I used to...
It's an old wives' tale.
Yeah. When you cure a common cold, when you have too much phlegm, you just eat a hot dog.
Eat a bunch of hot dogs, and then the phlegm will just start coming out like a neti pot.
Exactly.
Your nose will just start running.
Yeah, it's like a sham wow.
Yeah.
Your nose.
It's a miracle.
It's a miracle cure.
Only the natives had had that.
Where do you got Derek Stingley going, Steven? Steelers. 14. Oh. It's a miracle. It's a miracle cure. If only the natives had had that.
Where do you got Derek Stingley going, Steven?
Steelers.
14.
Oh.
Steven hasn't really been up on the drafts.
Let's.
Oh.
No, I'm okay.
Derek Stingley can go as high as probably nine, but then he can fall into the 20s depending on his injury reports.
But he had his pro day yesterday and I think he did like a 4-3-7.
What happened to the Masters?
No way he falls into the 20s.
Zero percent chance he falls into the 20s.
I think they go off, and then they come back to the ESPN.
I like Sauce Gardner a lot more than him.
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.
So, I'll just go ahead and pick him.
That's going to be a top 10 pick.
I think it's going to be a top 5 pick.
Holy crap.
I kind of like Desmond Ritter.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who do you want the Steelers to draft?
I don't know why.
You're getting Flemmy.
You're getting Flemmy from the dogs.
I'm like half a dog.
But no, you had a little bit more than that.
Yeah, you're right.
I was trying to cheat on my diet.
You are.
When people say they cheat on their diet, it's not the way that you think.
It's just me saying that I didn't eat something I ate.
You ate less. No, I cheat on my diet. It's the public's perception you think. It's just me saying that I didn't eat something I ate. You ate less.
No, I cheat on my diet.
It's the public's perception of my diet.
I didn't eat any.
I didn't even have any hot dogs.
You barely had any.
Oh, Owen's got a Jerry dog there.
Oh, yeah.
He really squeezed it up.
It looks like a double helix.
Steven's fucking chefing up his hot dogs.
I know.
He's working at a restaurant.
Yeah, he is.
It's kind of intimidating, isn't it?
A lot of prep.
But also, his stomach is filling up with yellow mustard.
Yeah.
Owen?
A lot of yellow mustard in that stomach.
Fucking bitch.
Owen could take the lead here.
I just popped in the chat, my pants are bird dogs.
Yeah, my pants are bird dogs.
That's pants in the world.
They're so comfortable.
Because, I mean, I wear them.
They don't look, I mean, you know, if you come up close, you're probably like, oh, he's
not wearing khakis.
Man, they're comfortable.
I don't even think up close you can really tell.
It just looks like a khaki jogger.
It's just great to be like, oh, you know what?
I'm not going to put a belt on today.
I'm going to wear bird dogs.
Or underwear.
Or underwear.
I do wear underwear.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
It feels like there's dog meat trying to get out of my eyes.
Uh-oh, Jerry.
Oh, God.
Jerry.
Jerry.
Jerry.
Seven.
Seven.
Seven.
He's got seven.
No, no, no.
Put it down first.
Put it down.
You got to get it in your mouth.
It's in your hand.
You can't call it a seven until-
He's drinking his Diet Coke like he's a fucking baby with his bottle.
15 minutes ago, he said he couldn't envision-
Oh.
He finished six.
And remember in the Nathan's contest,
they have the thing called the Kobayashi shake.
And it's like you do like a little bit of a wiggle,
and it's like when you have an icy at the movies
and you want to get all the icy down to the bottom
and you give it a little bit of a shake
and it all sifts down to the bottom.
A Kobayashi shake could open up a little bit of room
at the top of your stomach.
At least some proceed.
Just give a little jiggle, Jerry.
Just a tiny little jiggle.
What?
I'm resting.
Jerry's got seven down.
He's in the lead with seven.
Jay, where are you at?
Are you at a six and a half?
Jay's at a six, a little more than six and a half.
Six and a quarter.
Owen, where are you at?
Jerry is at a clean seven.
Jerry is at seven.
Owen's a little past six and a half.
Hot dogs are officially cold. Yeah, get Jerry
seven up. It's frozen tundra time.
Frozen tundra time.
Oh, yes. Everyone knows frozen
tundra time takes place about
40 minutes into the competition.
This would be brutal, too, if next Thursday they come in and Frank just eats like 10 in
a minute and a half.
Like, all right, well.
He might just do it very casually.
Well, that's the only way to do this type of competition.
But he also has probably never jerryed up his dogs.
That's true.
I feel like at the ballpark, sometimes, though, the dogs, the way that they're handled, they
are jerryed up a little.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, they have like a little squish.
They're manhandled.
Yeah, so we're just grabbing handfuls of hot dogs.
I know I shit my pants.
Talk in the mic.
Make sure you talk in the mic.
He said, I know I shit my pants.
He can't even talk in the mic.
If you're wearing gray sweatpants, we can probably check.
Yeah, but I'm wearing what color box? They're black. Thank can't even talk. I mean, we're in gray sweatpants. We can probably check. But I'm wearing what color box or black.
Thank God.
Thank God.
A white would be.
I mean, why did they even ever make white underwear?
Is it because cotton already white?
Is it because they didn't have to dye the material?
Because other than that, I really can't think of a reason to have.
Can we get hand sanitizer in here or no?
Why?
It's for my hands or no? Spider, you we get hand sanitizer in here or no? Why? Just for my hands or no?
Spider!
Can you grab the hand sanitizer?
There we go.
You got a big one coming in for you, brother. Let's get those
hands nice and clean. Why, are they getting
a little bit sticky? What are you doing?
Why are you covering your mouth?
It does? Smells like what? Give it to
Jerry. Does it smell like poop? You want a hot dog?
Yeah, he's most hated food, Spider. Wait, what? Give it to Jerry. Does it smell like poop? You want a hot dog? Yeah, his most hated food, spider.
Wait, what?
Spider, eat one then.
Come on.
He said he can't.
Eat one.
Eat a hot dog.
Scratch those scratch-offs, Owen.
Eat a hot dog, spider.
I didn't know that about him.
I had no idea.
It'd be good if you ate one.
Here, scratch it.
Give a couple scratches.
Let's get some more money for the boys, huh?
Yeah, let's really win something.
I really bought these so I could get some loose dollars that I could pee on.
Oh.
It all makes sense.
18 single dollar lottery tickets.
Now, is it fair?
Now, is it loser if this gets it?
Or should we wait?
For the piss dollar.
Yeah.
I don't mind waiting.
Well, I'm saying, like, is it fair to, like, if Frank finishes last.
Oh, he has to.
Oh, no, he has to. No, no, no. If Frank finishes
last, he has to do the hot dog gif.
So someone's getting pissed dollar today.
Yeah, it's only right that somebody gets a little
bit of a pissed dollar. You alright there,
Steven? Steven's good. He's comfortable.
Seven. Seven down.
Steven's on seven.
Steven is taking second place.
Steven is definitely the live bet.
He's definitely the live bet. I believe
he's definitely the live bet.
Feels like he's got this.
Coins add to over $1
win prize in the box. Okay.
50 cents. Oh, this is such
a diabolical scratch ticket.
No. It makes you do
math. I don't like this.
These shits make you do math.
50 cents, 25 cents.
$500.
Yeah, see?
You got to do math.
This is bullshit.
50 cents plus 25 cents plus 1 cent.
Yeah, then they throw in the 1.
Jesus Christ.
So if I don't hit this last cent.
Remember when we did lottery week?
Yeah, that was actually fun.
No!
That's bullshit.
They got me so close, and I tried to start on the far end so I wouldn't get screwed.
So I wouldn't get my hopes up.
I just had 94 cents.
Same.
What's 50 plus?
Damn, dude, I'm terrible at math. 92 cents. Same. What's 50 plus? Damn, dude. I'm terrible
at math. 92 cents.
Especially with college basketball
being over.
The only thing that keeps you in the math game. 1 cent.
Unbelievable. 50 cents.
2 bucks. Yes!
Alright, so there's 3 dollars that's been added.
Love it. 3 extra
dollars. Scratch, Owen. Way to scratch.
Way to scratch, Owen.
And honestly, you...
You want to take this one?
Sure.
I can't move that much.
With your tray?
I just can't move that much.
You can put your tray off to the side.
Jerry, are you going to be...
Steven is actually just taking the lead.
He's taking the lead.
It's all right.
Have you, Steven?
He's taking the lead.
He took a bite out of his seventh or eighth.
Yes. Especially taking the lead. He took a bite out of his seventh or eighth. Yes.
Especially in the lead.
If we stopped right now, he'd be.
What's your guy's strategy for the.
I don't know.
215?
215.
215.
When's the last five-minute push?
210 to 215?
210.
210.
So in exactly 10 minutes, you get your push.
What are your guys' strategies for this last push?
How are you going to.
Are you going to go all out?
This is so miserable because I shouldn't have even tried.
Because now, all right.
You're going to eat ten.
No, no.
I'm deciding right now.
If you're going to get the poop.
I mean the P dollar.
I'm for sure going to put down eight, which is what this was built upon.
So you just have been chasing eight the entire time?
Not really.
I mean, I've had that in my mind for sure.
Do you have a last push in you, Jerry, you think?
I can do nine.
Oh, wow.
That's two more.
I can do nine.
Wow.
I can do nine.
You can do nine.
So that's two more whole dogs in the next 15 minutes.
Yep.
So what's the strategy?
Just get one down in the next 10 and then get your ninth during your sprint?
No, both in five minutes.
Holy.
And you can take them apart at that point.
Yep.
So you're waiting till the end.
Yep.
For the push.
I think you can do 10, Jerry.
Yep.
Thing is, I have to time it right because I want to be able to puke at 216.
I'm done with 7.
Go, 7, 7, 7.
You got to show clean mouth.
And then puke?
Yeah.
After 215.
It has to be clean mouth.
After 215.
Yeah, and in Nathan's, there's buzzer beaters,
so whatever's in your mouth counts at the end of the clock.
Yes, correct.
You have to finish it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. TJ knows to finish it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TJ knows the best rules.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, I can do nine.
You got nine?
Steven's already,
Steven might only have to eat one for nine.
I think I might trade this thing.
You gotta, oh, wow.
He's talking about trading it.
Trade, wait, what if they all tie?
What if they tie?
Yeah, you might have to help yourself.
Oh, what if they, we'll have a dog off. if they tie? You might have to help yourself.
We'll have a dog off.
A dog off?
We'll have a dog off.
What's that mean?
It'll just be who can eat the fastest dog.
Oh, no.
That's a punishment.
Yeah.
No, a dog off.
I mean, it's a punishment to win money.
A dog off would be absolutely.
Because this is a tight-ass competition. boys have all stepped up to the plate.
Absolutely fearless competitors at the death.
Freezing cold.
Yeah, you're pale as fuck right now.
Why are you so cold?
All your blood is in your stomach.
I did put the AC.
I'm now in the season where the seasons are changing.
So sweatshirt weather's going out.
I'm going to now turn the AC every single morning that I come in to like 64.
Just so I can keep wearing a sweatshirt.
The guy at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Competition, one time I was watching it.
Or maybe he said this at Wing Bowl.
Or I think it was at Nathan's though.
He was like, competitive eating where angels and demons fight for the souls of men.
I was like, holy fuck.
It's incredible.
And it's absolutely true.
I'm watching it happen in real time.
Steven just finished his eighth.
And he's about to mustard up dog number nine.
Can one of you boys please get me a ketchup?
I can't get up.
Why?
All right, all right.
I'll indulge you. Why? How you, all right. I'll indulge you.
Why?
What are you doing there, Jerry?
Jerry's just paused.
Yeah.
Jerry's in his thinking phase.
I'm going to prep my dogs.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Ooh, the clock is up on the screen.
This is an information.
Oh!
Zah is disgusted by that.
Every time Jerry heaves, Zah rips the headphones off.
It is that disgusting.
What do you need, Steven?
Some mustard?
One pack of the ketchup.
Owen's got it.
If I finish this, I'm going to actually shit in my pants.
I sharted it, but I didn't shit.
I will shit.
If you fully shit and stink it up in here.
Actually, there's shit in my pants right now.
Strategically, though, if you shit right now,
you could clear out the room and kind of have them break the rules.
A strategic pooping yourself at the end of the competition
could be the smartest thing to do.
And you also clear room in your stomach.
You clear room in your stomach.
But, I mean, if they set foot outside the room,
they're automatically disqualified.
That's true.
So you would win.
You could also kind of just try
and wrestle them out of the room.
Do you think you're, like,
the most at all?
What?
Am I proud of you?
I'm proud of... Yeah, no, I'm proud of you? I'm proud of...
Yeah, no, I'm proud of you guys.
We're all in it.
Yeah.
It's very much a match.
It's a brotherhood.
Also, shout out Colby, Tony Finau Tracker.
He's the number one Tony Finau guy in the world, Colby.
Ah, no.
Fuck that.
He doesn't work here anymore.
What?
How many...
Are you...
You have three whole ones left, Owen?
Mm-hmm.
You're just waiting for a little bit? And Jerry has three whole ones left, Owen? You're just waiting for a little bit?
And Jerry has three whole ones left, but he's going to...
So Steven is...
Steven's going to win.
But Jerry, you can't get...
I'm going to go to knock at the piss dollar.
I don't think you can get one off.
You can't eat two dogs and have two empty buns.
You can eat one dog and have one empty bun.
I know, I got it.
Those are the buns.
Can you show the buns? Does that count? Of course. That's two empty buns. You can eat one dog and have one empty bun. I know, I got it. These are the buns. Can you show the buns?
Does that count?
Of course.
That's two buns together.
Yeah.
What are you going to do first?
I'm going to soak them in Diet Coke.
And then you're going to eat the buns first or the dogs first?
Dogs first.
That's going to be foul.
Are you going to go double time, chestnut style?
I was thinking about cutting these in half and just swallow them piece by piece.
You got a lighter?
Swallow it like pills?
Are you going to heat up your hot dog?
That's a good move.
That's actually a very good move.
I don't know if I do.
Oh, man.
Let me see if I got a lighter.
Just use your vape pen.
Just slow smoke it with your vape pen. I got a lighter. Just use your vape pen. Just slow smoke it with your vape pen.
I got a zip drive.
Now that they're cold,
it's so much harder and so much worse.
Gorilla groove.
Oh, God.
Because the Diet Coke can
smells like the hot dog.
Because the Diet Coke can
smells like...
You want a new Diet Coke?
I want a fucking toilet paper for my butt.
It's competition.
Raising canes?
Oh my God.
Based on what you guys have seen today, what are your projections for Frank and Brandon?
I think Brandon will bitch out.
No way.
He'll tap out at five.
Unless hot dogs.
He likes bloopers.
Yeah.
No, he'll bitch out.
Didn't he bitch out of the...
Wasn't he trying to hide dogs on July 4th?
It's the texture of a baby carrot.
Yeah.
Honestly, yes.
You're right.
I think Frank...
I don't know what Frank will do.
Frank is one of those guys that, like, every time he thinks he can do one thing,
he just does, like, he surprises you.
He'll be like, no, I only like two.
Yeah, right, like, he could eat two, he could eat 20.
I'd be like, oh, okay.
I prefer two.
Yeah, I don't think Frank will have, like, a five dog.
Oh, good.
Thank you, brother.
Oh, Tech Guy Andrew probably does.
TGA, you got a lighter, TGA, you got a lighter?
TGA!
You got a lighter?
Yeah, he's got a lighter.
Quick, quick, quick.
Brother in arms.
Guy's fucking smoking longer.
Three minutes till the sprint.
Three minutes.
Three minutes till the sprint.
The sprint is going to be electric.
Gary, this is actually more unhealthy than doing drugs.
I'm seven and a half down.
Aren't you supposed to have one of these a year?
Yeah, one tray.
One tray a year.
One full tray.
Opening day.
One set of nine dogs.
Are you halfway done?
You put a.5 next to me.
Halfway done nine?
It'd be big for me.
Eight and a half.
8.5 to 7.5.
Steven, it would be It would be
Horrendous if Steven lost this
Yeah
He's got a dog and a half lead
Going into the five minutes
He's got seven and a half
What is
What is seven and a half
Seven and a half
And Jerry just hasn't eaten a dog
In like
An hour
What's some wacky ass music
We could get for the background
At uh
Guardians of the Gate
Guardians of the Gate. Guardians of the Gates
maybe some shit like that. No.
You can't do it. Jerry's got to get the
pissed off. Psychologically it's very tough
for Jerry. You can tell the way he's looking at his hot
dogs. It's as if it's a foe that
he's at war with that's been
vanquishing him.
I'm just going to have the pissed dollars
and a poop bug.
Oh here he goes. Yes, he's already in.
He's going.
Let's go, Jerry.
Eight and a half, Jerry.
Yes, Jerry.
Or seven and a half.
Seven and a half.
We'll be judging halves.
Yes, we're judging halves.
You have to display your tray at the end.
You have to show your tray.
Everything that's left on the tray.
We could even weigh the trays.
We could weigh how much is left on each one of the trays.
Who let the dogs out?
Who?
Who?
Who let the dogs out?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Don't do it, Jerry. No, Jerry. No. No, no. He's going to puke. Oh, no, no. Oh, no. No, Jerry. Don't do it, Jerry.
No, Jerry, no.
No, Jerry, don't do it, dude.
Don't puke.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't puke, Jerry, don't.
If you leave, Jerry.
Yeah, I know.
It's so hard.
Oh, God.
Jerry, no.
What's that bubble up?
Oh.
Are you going to be eating that?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Jerry's back in. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jerry's back in.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He's back in the competition.
Jerry's back in.
Oh, he's dipping it in puke.
Oh, God, he got alive.
I'm counting it with three alive.
That's all it had to take.
That's alive.
He's alive.
He's back alive.
He made an attempt.
Oh, I feel like I'm going to throw up now.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Scott is dripping from my nose now.
Oh, my God.
Owen's lighting his with the lighter over there.
Here we go.
The five minutes starts now.
Let's go.
Five minutes.
Let's go.
Push yourselves.
You can eat it however you want.
You can eat it however you got to.
Push yourself.
Owen, he jerryed it.
He dipped it in half.
He split it. What a scene that was. Oh my god.
Jerry's got the heart of a champion.
Owen just went a whole half-eye.
He's soaking it in coke.
He's soaking it in Diet Coke.
We're 20 seconds into the speed round.
It's half throw up.
It's half throw up.
It's half diet coke.
Big Cat might throw up
Steven is not even eating
Steven's locked in 100%
on getting this clip out
all he cares about is the clip for the Yak account
he has a dog and a half left
to finish his tray
hit it in 10 seconds
or 4 minutes
Jerry's made a mess of his.
Jerry has an absolute mess on his tray.
It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done to have to judge Jerry's tray.
Oh, no.
Use your hair towel.
Use your back hair towel.
I keep taking off his headphones.
Use the back hair towel.
Use the back hair towel. Use the back hair towel.
In fact, we have the music.
Nine down for Steven.
Nine.
Nine for Steven.
Nine for Steven.
Dressing his tenth.
Steven's dressing his tenth.
He wants the $270.
Maybe if Frank doesn't beat him.
He wants it, though.
He definitely wants it.
Owen deconstructing right now.
He's focusing on the meat.
He's focusing on the dog itself Jerry how much you have left you know
you got some left Ew, you had it. Jerry. The barf is so stringy. Why is it that consistency?
Why is it like sludge?
It's like a primordial ooze.
Oh, God.
What are we doing?
Oh, my God.
What are we doing?
Oh, Jerry.
Jerry's got some toxic sludge.
He's got two dogs in his hand.
The sludge is connecting the two of them with a line of spit.
There's spit connecting the two pieces of sludge.
Owen has eaten all the dogs.
I can't stop laughing.
Owen is only fed right now.
I can't stop laughing.
There's two minutes and 40 seconds left.
Two minutes, 40 seconds left.
Jerry can start going in on the dog.
He might have gone too hard out the gate.
Steven is still composed right now.
He's just a machine.
He's on his fourth dog or his final dog.
Nothing makes me laugh harder than puke.
It's the funniest thing in the world.
It's puke that's hurtling him towards piss.
I think Jerry's crying a little bit.
Yeah, out his butt.
He's crying out his ass right in there.
Owen is putting his head out the room.
Owen was about to projectile into the hallway. Go, Jerry, go.
Go, Jerry, go.
Two minutes left.
Two minutes left.
Two minutes left, Jerry.
Go, Jerry, go.
Go, Jerry, go.
Go, Jerry, go. Go.
That was poop.
He pooped out his mouth.
He just pooped out his mouth.
That was a full turn of poop.
I'm positive.
Jerry.
I'm positive he pooped out his mouth.
I've never seen that.
Diarrhea out his mouth.
Oh, Jerry. He pooped out out of his mouth. Oh, Jerry.
He was pooped out of his mouth.
Happy opening day, everyone.
Baseball's back.
Baseball is back.
Baseball is back.
Baseball's all the way back. A minute and 20 seconds left.
Whoever can get what down?
Oh, boy.
Jerry is pooping.
He's pooping out every hole.
Owen has no meat left, only bread.
He looks like he's about to collapse.
Even Che cannot stand up.
Owen has had more meat than anybody.
Owen, Jerry's hand sanitizing.
One minute left in the competition.
Is Owen going to try to get everything down?
Can he get all of that bread into his mouth at the end of this competition?
He's soaking the bread now.
Owen is soaking the bread.
Harry's about to eat the poop dog.
The dog he just pooped on.
He's putting it back in his mouth.
He's biting it.
He's drying it right away.
He's pooping more out of his mouth.
He's soaking himself.
30 seconds left.
He's deep-crowding himself.
30 seconds left.
Can Owen get it all in his mouth?
That's an empty tray for Steven.
Oh, my God.
He can swallow.
He just traded out entirely.
He's run up the score.
He got 20 seconds.
He's run up the score.
20 seconds left.
Anything in your mouth counts, Steven.
Anything that you can get into your mouth, Steven, is scrambling.
10 seconds.
10X.
10X.
Get a half dog.
Get a half dog.
10 seconds.
9, 8, 7, six, five, four, three, two, one.
One bite.
I'm counting it as ten and one bite for Stephen Che.
He is the winner today.
Wait, what did Owen do?
Owen has mush on his plate.
I'm going to judge right now.
Judge.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I got to on his plate. I'm going to judge right now. Judge. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I got to see the plate.
I got to see the plate.
That's reversal.
Hold on.
Let me see the plate.
Let me see the plate.
What is that?
Oh, no.
You have to eat your puke.
You have to eat a bite of puke.
Otherwise, if you heave, you leave.
And then Jerry goes into second place.
Unless you take a bite of the puke, you have the piss dollar.
Jerry goes into second place unless Owen takes a bite of this puke.
That's official.
That's official.
All right.
So Jerry's second place.
You can take one bite.
You're just a little nibble of your puke to get back into second place.
And that's $50 in your pocket or two piss dollars.
$50, just a bite of the puke.
Okay.
$50, Jerry.
Jerry's the third.
I'm counting Owen as eight and a half.
Jerry's got eight.
Steve and Chase got ten and a quarter.
Ten and a quarter.
Owen, I would say, he was – how many buns were left there? About a bun and a half? It's like a bun
and a half. I'm counting eight and a half official
for Owen.
He had ten dogs
and eight and a half buns, so that aggregates
to about nine.
I'm going to count Jerry's
as like eight and a quarter.
Eight and a quarter is fair.
Give the eight and a half to Jerry.
That's the final scores.
Stephen Che, 10.
Jerry gets the Badlands Booker Hart Award, though.
Oh, man, the strategy just backfired on Jerry.
If it was a 10-minute competition, Jerry would have won easily.
Yeah.
It's not that bad in here.
I got nothing left.
What was harder, that or Ruffin Rowdy?
Ruffin Rowdy was harder.
Look at these competitors shaking hands.
Inaugural hot dog eating competition.
What a scene in the Yaks studios.
Baseball is officially back boys
Unbelievable
Opening pitch in three minutes
We did it
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off
Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off Get it off All your scratch-offs. Mm-hmm. All right, so the prizes won't be given out until next Thursday?
The money is in escrow?
What are you doing, Jerry?
How does this—we do this again, first frame?
No, you guys don't have to.
You guys are done.
Oh, Brandon versus Frank.
You guys are done.
Okay.
It's just if Frank beats Steven, Frank gets the money.
For first place.
Yes.
And so Owen gets his 50 no matter what right now.
It's just Frank.
It's just Frank.
Let's not have Brandon.
We'll just have Frank eat in the corner on next Thursday.
I'm also just realizing something.
Did Owen not have to eat that pew because it was after 2.15?
No, he did because it had to count.
If you leave.
Okay.
And Jerry, these are your-
Jerry, your P dollars, can you put them in your wallet, please?
I don't have them in my wallet, though.
You want to go grab it?
I don't have a wallet today.
All right, so just put it in your pocket.
Steven, wildly impressive.
Thank you.
Yeah, Steven's a machine.
He really is.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Take them out.
Take it out.
Wait, has that been...
Out to piss dollars.
Has that been peed on already?
Yes.
Ah, it's crunchy.
Put it in there.
You were dehydrated.
There you go.
Beep.
It's crunchy, but wet.
Your mom's like, hey, Jerry, how was your day at work today?
What'd you do?
All right.
Great show.
Should we get the opening pitch?
Let's see one pitch.
Let's see one pitch.
Can we see one pitch?
Or we'll get banned.
Well, we'll get banned.
Just show us one pitch, huh?
It's really phlegmy.
Yes, extremely phlegmy.
What is that, Rowan?
What's the phlegm?
I think phlegm is your body telling you that it needs to get something out.
Really?
Yeah, it's a fight or flight.
I think honestly the key – so I knew you were in trouble when you had the Diet Coke.
That's –
Yeah, that was a mistake, Jerry.
Probably.
We don't need instructions on how you won.
Oh, no.
I thought Jerry was going to blow it out the first time.
Yeah, that's got to be the worst part about losing to Steven.
He's going to tell you how you lost after.
Indeed. Owen had a good strategy the full time. Listen, buddy, it was first. Yeah, that's got to be the worst part about losing to Steven. He's going to tell you how you lost after. Indeed.
Owen had a good strategy the full time.
It was fun, but here's the sad.
So next time you guys get in a hot dog eating competition,
here's a couple tips.
I think I should have used toppings.
Not stepping on any toes, just a few pointers.
Should have used toppings?
Should have used toppings.
Yeah, to just change up the consistency a little?
Yeah, that was nice up the consistency a little.
Yeah, that was nice.
Doing a couple of each.
Yeah, you changed it up.
Yeah.
You guys got to log your logs afterwards, too.
Let us know what that poop is like.
Yeah. I think I'm going to try to go beat the shit out of my uvula.
What?
Oh.
What's a uvula?
It's the vagina.
It's the tiny in the back of your throat.
That's what I thought it was.
It's the little bean.
Oh, you're going to pull the trigger?
I don't know.
I usually can't.
You're going to tickle your uvula?
Should we all just pull each other's trigger?
That would be very...
That would be...
Oh, tiger.
Tiger.
Tiger.
Tiger.
Listen to all the phlegm in the room.
It's gross.
Frank Phlegmy's in here.
These boys are gross.
Watch Frank just show up next Thursday and be like,
nope, not going to do it.
Well, he's off the show if he doesn't do it.
Don't feel that bad?
You want to see a profile of my tummy right now?
Yeah.
Stick your gut out.
I haven't seen it.
It's probably real bad.
Stick your gut out exactly sideways.
Oh, 220.
Get a little...
Actually, no.
That's not impressive.
Stand a little bit more sideways.
Yeah.
Oh, that's not that impressive.
I can tell it's swollen, but...
Let your dick bulge.
It's true to form.
Your dick bulge is better than your ass bulge.
No, don't readjust. Brother, we know what you're working with. Shake your dick bulge true to form your dick bulge is better than your ass fire no don't don't readjust brother we know what you're working with oh shake your dick watch yourself louis who's in from distance get the fucking hole
oh wait it's baseball can we get a is there a baseball on anywhere get a baseball uh yeah but
i'm gonna obscure it so that we don't get auto-copyrighted. Okay, cool. Just show us the first pitch.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, this is it.
Oh, this is actually it.
Yeah.
All right, so we'll see the first pitch, and then that'll be it.
Oh, wow, look at this.
This is like watching old-school porn on the Spice Channel.
Yes, good morning.
Kyle Hendricks, professor.
Let's go, Cubs.
What's the first pitch Homer?
Was it Spice Channel 7
Number 78
For Channel 78 for everybody?
Playboy 96
I can't remember
I watched porn
Yeah you're too young
Hey you just watched
Actual porn
Spice Channel was the shit
That's funny that they did that
That is the only channel
That kind of came through halfway
You alright Jerry? I'm alright Jerry halfway. You all right, Jerry?
I'm all right.
Jerry, you did so good, Jerry.
You did so good.
You're a heart of a champion, Jerry.
Left it all out on the field.
Yeah, Jerry!
Jerry!
All right, here comes first pitch.
Wait, this is reverse too, huh?
Because it shows him as a lefty.
Genius.
I love it.
White said he could do three in a minute.
Three hot dogs?
Well, we do have three hot dogs.
So that was the debate that people are bringing up,
the Usain Bolt, Joey Chestnut thing.
Did you hear that?
Yeah.
It was who could run 100 meters faster if they had to eat a hot dog first, Joey Chestnut or Usain Bolt, Joey Chestnut thing. Did you hear that? Yeah. It was who could run 100 meters faster if they had to eat a hot dog first,
Joey Chestnut or Usain Bolt.
I think it's clearly Joey Chestnut.
Yeah.
I mean, it took Mincy 30 seconds.
Yeah.
And it wouldn't take him 30 seconds to run 100 meters.
Yeah.
You're not eating the rest of the day, Jared?
You sure?
I think I'm good until Sunday.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, damn.
The boys are tired, but they've earned it.
Jay throwing his head back.
Here's the pitch.
If it's a strike, we go another hour.
All right.
Looks like we're going another hour.
Oh, wait.
No.
It was an out.
It was a pop-up.
He's out. He's out. He's out. All right. All right. See like we're going to... Oh, wait, no. It was an out. It's a pop-up. He's out.
He's out.
He's out.
All right.
All right.
See you everyone tomorrow.
Happy opening day.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back. All right, great job today, everyone.
See you tomorrow.