The Yak - Interrogating KB About His Poop History | The Yak 8-15-22
Episode Date: August 15, 2022Kyle BowelerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Oh, 100k week.
Is it? We gotta get to 100k this week. Is it?
We got to get to 100K this week.
It's going to happen.
Everyone's got to subscribe.
It's Yak Monday.
What's their incentive?
What happens when we get this back?
Points.
We release more coins.
Coins, merch.
Oh, 12 hour.
12 hour.
I would love to, when we do the 12 hour, to make a very, buy a bunch of supplies, do a
really good Rube Goldberg with the plaque.
Maybe it starts or it ends with it.
12 hours is a lot of yak.
It's a lot of yak, boys and girls.
So everyone subscribe.
Do we have a subscribe button that we can tweet out, TJ?
Like an auto sub link?
Yeah.
Yeah, I can tweet it out from the app.
All right.
And text it to the group.
You can put out a button that just they click it and they're automatically subscribed.
There's like an extension to the YouTube link that if you click on it, we'll take them to automatically subscribe.
Let's go.
Start tricking people.
Let's do it.
Everyone tweet it out.
Send it to the group chat.
First up, surviving barstool, no spoilers.
What does that mean?
What do you think it means?
I just like, Stephen just has never figured out that if you tell us something
We're going to do the opposite
Don't tell us
I forgot about the show but now it's bold and highlighted on here
Your eye can't see anything else
No one would have talked about it
No one
But now I want the spoilers
So go ahead Steven
There's something about
I know the results.
I don't.
And I want to tell people so badly.
Yeah.
It's just human nature, I think.
You spoiled Most Dangerous Games.
Yeah, you did, right?
Instantly.
I didn't know this was publicized yet, but I did.
It wasn't publicized.
Oh, no, it was.
I did in the most clear and transparent way ever.
Well, I wouldn't say most clear and transparent
because Jerry did the most clear and transparent
after Barstool mini-golf.
Yeah, he put out just the whole scorecard.
The whole thing.
That was almost too on the nose to even count.
I actually did, and the way I felt afterwards,
I was like, I'm fucked.
And this is how respected I am
that nothing happened.
Yeah, that's true.
You're a made man now.
A lot of people, I mean,
it was, what was it, for 10 seconds?
But no, the screenshot was there.
Internet's forever.
A thousand people DM'd me it,
and I was like, you...
And I paid some people.
I'm sure.
But they were most respectful.
How much did you pay?
I paid one guy
$80.
He never
specifically said
that he was gonna
expose me as that.
You just went
straight to $80?
Yeah, I said,
here's $80.
And he was like,
dude, I love you to death.
I would never
have done that.
But this makes me
love you more.
So that meant
the world to me.
Nice.
Could have gotten more. It was worth the $ to me. Nice. Could have gotten more.
It was worth the 80 bucks. You bought extra love for 80 bucks.
Is Barstool
Mini Golf coming out soon? I don't know.
Who the fuck knows? I think they said end of the month
and it's six episodes long.
Six episodes long?
I mean, it is. For
people who are complaining, I understand
the other side of it. They have
like 30 people mic'd up.
I don't know how you edit that.
I think if you gave us, if you were like, hey, you have to edit this, it would take me seven years.
30 people mic'd up.
We all did at least, we all did like 36 holes plus.
Right, and there's cameras everywhere.
Impossible.
Yeah.
Sass, what's up?
How was Atlanta? You're just a full-blown traveling comedian now
uh yeah atlanta was fun i'm i've got two weeks until my next oh nice road thing it's a little
much yeah i want to i want to take a oh i have a little break right now but i also want to like do
new stuff i'm trying to i don't know i'm out i'm in a weird position where like stuff that i was
doing i've been doing for a while that i used to love i fucking hate now
yeah are you gonna do a special now that you're getting ready to switch or no no no not for a
very long people aren't laughing at the joker baby bit anymore no i don't do that but like
you just get like it's like the first half of my set I really like telling,
and then the second half it's like I'm in, like, physical pain telling the jokes.
I just don't think they're funny.
Are you starting to miss?
No.
No.
Well, you've done your set so many times now, I feel like.
Are you noticing any, like, parody or differences in how they react?
Is it dependent on? I think there's, like, they can, I think people can tell based on...
The first 20 minutes, it's all stuff that I just wrote within the last two months or so.
And people are like...
I think I'm more enthusiastic about it, which makes people more...
They can tell.
And then the second half, I'm kind of just going through the fucking...
I'm an autopilot.
You're making an announcement?
All right, second half begins now, and this is going to stink.
Now, now.
Are you going to give people half a refund?
I should.
Yeah.
No, but Atlanta was great.
It's actually a fun city.
Yeah.
I've never been like actually there.
As long as you don't have to drive anywhere.
I did.
You have to drive everywhere.
Yeah, and there's a lot of traffic.
Ubers suck.
It's like 15-minute wait for every Uber.
We were in Atlantalanta for the
super bowl and there was one day that there was like cold rain and they canceled all the schools
oh really it was hilarious yeah it was you remember that day yeah it was it was not even
snow it was just like slushy rain and it was like great because i could get anywhere because
everyone stayed home yeah but they get they get gunshot because they had that big ice storm that shut them down for real for three days.
Chipper Jones out there rescuing people on four-wheelers.
Never forget.
Never forget that.
We had a long night.
Hey, Owen, were you in Atlanta?
Oh, this is amazing.
I woke up to just a chain of text messages from these guys.
So I was.
Who tell?
It was like 2 in the morning.
I was watching a movie.
I'll start my night first.
Yeah.
I was sound asleep.
Owen's sound asleep.
I had fallen asleep before midnight, something I rarely do.
That is rare.
Maybe the first time that's ever happened.
You have to embrace that.
Was this Friday?
This was tonight.
This was last night.
For background, Owen gets about one to two hours of sleep per night.
I found myself in a deep REM.
And I was watching a movie.
I was watching Knowing.
Have you guys ever seen this movie?
Nicolas Cage?
No.
Good-ass movie.
It's a little spooky, so I'm a little on edge.
Yeah.
And I hear something moving in my room.
And I thought it was the air conditioning, and then I paused it, and it was a rat in my room.
Oh.
Like just chilling?
Like going through a bag that I had.
A rat rat.
Like a rat rat.
Like a big one.
It was either a rat or a massive mouse.
But I'm pretty confident it was a rat.
And then I was like yelling at it like a dog.
I didn't know what to do.
Explain. I was like, h it like a dog. I didn't know what to do. I was like,
Hound boy!
Hey!
Yeah.
And I was so fucking scared
and I grabbed my wallet.
Wallet?
You were about to...
The rat was kicking you out?
Oh no.
Look at Sass's wallet.
He could drop that on the rat
and it would be flat.
I go out.
I run out of my room.
I go into the living room and I'm kind of just like, fuck.
What do I do?
It's 2 in the morning, and I'm out there.
I'm texting you guys.
I'm texting Owen and Duggs, and maybe 30 seconds later, a mouse runs by my foot.
A different mouse.
A different mouse.
You are positive it's a different vermin.
Wait, is it a mouse or a rat now?
No, no.
The first one was a rat. The second one was a mouse. And yes, I am. Now mouse or a rat now? No, no, the first one was a rat.
Second one was a mouse.
And yes, I am.
Big difference.
No, no, no, multiple rodents.
And then I was like, fuck this, I'm out of here.
And I was like, shit, I should probably wake up Owen
because I don't want to leave him to the beasts.
What about Dukes?
Dukes isn't home.
Okay.
So then I go, I wake up Owen.
Owen's in like a deep sleep.
Horrible reaction.
See?
Owen thought someone was dying.
I wouldn't have done that.
I wouldn't have woken him up.
Because I am in a deep sleep.
I happen to be covered head to toe in sweat, unrelated.
So something was going on already.
And he's banging on the door, and I'm having one of the dreams where like you're half awake,
but it's a fictional version of reality.
I thought he had jumped through my door
and landed in my room to start screaming at me.
So I got up.
He had quite the reaction.
We just stood with him on one side of the door
and me on the other
while he just took a deep breath for a second.
And then he comes out,
and then another mice comes and hits his foot.
A third.
A third mouse. I swear to God, we're not messing this up at all. And he comes out, and then another mice comes and hits his foot. A third. A third. A third mouse.
I swear to God, we're not messing this up at all.
And where is Dukes during this?
Dukes isn't home.
We haven't seen Dukes in weeks.
He's just never home.
Understood.
Did Dukes leave a bunch of food in his room?
Yeah.
Yes.
Unrelated.
Unrelated.
Unrelated, though.
That has to be related.
No, no, no.
Because it's not like he has a bag of chips in his room.
No, that's related. That's probably related. That's 100%. That's what be related. It's not like he has a bag of chips. No, that's related.
That's 100%.
If there's three at once, then there has to be a common denominator.
I had started to calm down and I was like,
oh wait, Sass probably didn't have to wake me up.
I was in my room.
Hypothetically, you're asleep.
What's the worst case scenario?
What is a rat or mouse going to do while you're asleep?
It's going to ascend your bed.
I was getting ready to probably let him go off. What is a rat or mouse going to do while you're asleep? It's not going to ascend your bed. Crawling.
I was getting ready to probably let him go off, and then a rat came out, went over my foot, and then it went under my foot.
Mouse or rat?
Oh, it did go over your foot.
It went over my foot, and then it just peeked into my bedroom under the doorframe and then back onto the couch just to show that it could.
Yeah.
If it wanted to.
That was enough for me.
You guys are on the fifth floor?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you guys, did you leave?
We went and we slept at Greer's.
Okay.
Which I'm pissed about because I was asleep, and I've been trying to have the boys sleep
over for so long.
It would have been a fun sleep.
I woke up livid.
Okay, so you got to first figure out if it's a rat or a mouse because there's a very big
difference.
Okay, well, we've had a rat before.
What is the difference?
This is not our first time.
I think it's a different species. A mouse means there's probably going to be a ton
of them. A rat is harder
to catch because rats are significantly
smarter. But what is the
danger? Rats have muscle tone.
Rats also pass
disease and shit more easily than mice.
Rats are more of a nuisance.
They'll eat through your electricity and shit.
They'll eat through wires.
Mice are a nuisance and there will be more.
Okay, so say...
Rats are like...
Also, fun little fact, I pay more a month than I make to try and live here.
And also, our apartment is very clean.
It actually is because we had a mouse or a rat the first month we moved in.
And then we were like, okay, we need to keep the apartment.
You guys had a totem pulse height of garbage bags the last month. Well, we had a garbage corner for the first month we moved in and then we were like, okay, we need to keep the apartment. You guys had a totem pulse height
of garbage bags the last night.
Well, we had a garbage corner
for the first month.
You had a garbage bag.
This was last night?
No, that was January.
We're sophisticated tremendously.
Actively, there is no trash.
We had one barrel of trash.
This was last night?
The mouse thing?
One barrel.
This was last night, yes.
Y'all haven't been back is what I'm asking.
Oh, we went back this morning and we fucked shit up.
We put on...
Oh, so what's the deal?
We put on Korn's 99 Woodstock set.
That's a good...
They were tearing the place up.
They were having a fucking time.
I went into my room and shit's tipped over.
Were they exterminated?
Shit's tipped over?
I had a bag in my room tipped over.
Hey, you guys had a flip-siggy bag of dip spit on your mantle the last time I was there.
We don't have a mantle.
We don't have a mantle.
It was probably yours from the third to last time you were there.
It was mine.
No one's going to believe that our apartment's clean.
It actually is very clean.
You guys should get a cat.
Yeah, I don't know.
Go get a bodega cat.
Fucked.
And there's still something in my room because Owen's like under his door.
There's like this much space.
Mine is like a millimeter.
And my door, I wasn't home.
Rats and mice can get through anything.
What is the...
That's right, get a cat.
What's wrong with having just a mice in your apartment
in the same vein as a cat?
Mice are fine.
Well, mice are fine except that there'll be a lot of mice.
I bet you everybody here has mice.
They just don't know it.
But you don't want that.
Mouse poop gets everywhere.
And there's a lot of it.
The dust of mouse poop gets everywhere.
And then that spreads disease.
And then their little feet are touching everything.
And then rats bite.
Yeah, rats are bad.
Say hypothetically what was in my room was a mouse.
Say I missaw it.
That means that we have a lot of mice.
We have a tiny apartment.
Couple to triple digits.
Tiny apartment.
You have one mouse. You have a lot of mice.
That's how it works.
Mice proliferate.
Were they all the same color?
Everything's color with you.
I hate when you do that.
Jesus Christ.
I want to know if I should shoot him or arrest him.
He's not trying to judge, I don't think.
No, I think he's trying to doubt it because he thinks there was only one.
No, I'm trying to figure out if it was a rat or a mouse. The big one,
if it was a rat or a mouse. If it was brown, it was a rat.
If it was gray, it was a mouse. I never saw
the one in Sass's room. I can confirm
multiple mice.
Dark mice. And also, that was just like
the fact that I
came out of my room and then there was more in the
living room. Our apartment is so small.
Yeah. Here's the good news.
They sound brave. I don't know where the fuck they're coming from. Walls. Here's the good news there's no way i don't know where
the fuck they're coming from walls here's the good news chicago doesn't have any rats that's
true none whatsoever so many so many that has to be dude there's so many i had so i had a rat
problem in my old apartment in chicago and it was it was the only reason I realized what was going on was the rat was getting, collecting
shit from underneath the couch, from the trash, and putting it in our, in the closet, in like
a little pile.
And then Stella was going and eating out of the pile.
So like, Stella walked out of the closet once with a fucking lollipop stick in her mouth.
I was like, what the fuck is going on?
I went and looked.
It's like a little rat nest that they made and i told my landlord i think i've told this story but
it was a it was a two it was like a two-family house and i was like hey i think we have a rat
and he's like oh god they're back and i was like what and apparently we lived under like a little
bit of if if there's water rats can like survive forever. We lived under a little piece of water,
and he said that when he first moved in,
he noticed that he had rats,
and he went on his honeymoon,
and he had the exterminator come,
and he came back, and there were 100 dead rats in the house.
Oh, God.
Jesus.
Talking about that.
Yeah.
I heard that on a podcast.
Yeah.
You should put up an anonymous note in your building and be like,
hey, anybody else have rats?
You need a cat.
Get a cat.
Get a cat.
The cat will take care of the rats.
Yeah.
I have a friend who lives above us.
We were going to put cakes in his closet or something.
Yeah, you've got to get him up there.
I genuinely don't know what to do, though.
A cat.
I'm not trying to sleep tonight in that apartment where there's just fucking mice flying around.
Dude, if the cat shows up, they smell the cat, they get the fuck out of there.
Have you ever seen Tom and Jerry?
Why can't we just get a candle that smells like a cat?
Ooh.
It's a pussy candle.
That's a good idea.
Pussy candle, yeah.
Yeah.
Then we texted our landlord.
Dude just didn't reply.
He doesn't get flaccid.
We had to text him back.
What time was it? To be fair, we haven't paid him in months. No, we did. I paid him off. I paid didn't reply. He doesn't get flaccid. What time was it? To be fair,
we haven't paid him in months. No, we did.
I paid him off yesterday.
You're talking about rent?
Yeah.
He has the upper hand here. He doesn't have to text
you back. Yeah, but I was like, hey, how do we
go about this? And he was just like, we're gonna send
over the fucking dude who
fixes creaky
doors in the building.
Like, what the fuck is he going to do?
He's going to go and be like, oh, I don't see any mice and then just leave.
I think your whole building is probably fucked.
Yeah.
And it's probably not just your place.
Yeah.
It's the entire building is fucked.
So something's like probably like a dead body somewhere.
Yes.
One of what I'm saying is why I was asking, ask your neighbors.
Like, it's probably one specific apartments like reeling them in.
Yeah.
And they're just.
Yeah.
I mean, it could easily be a corpse probably one specific apartment. It's like reeling them in. And they're just cruising around.
It could easily be a corpse.
Yeah.
Totally probably.
So many New York City lifers who live here alone.
How else would you find out if they died?
Except a rat.
Except a rat.
I just don't know what to do.
I'm afraid of that as a guy that lives alone.
I choked on a piece of steak from a steak salad a couple months ago and I was panicked.
That's how you died.
It would be funny.
Yeah.
I bought a mouth plunger.
Do you see those?
Oh, yeah.
A real thing.
My mom bought it for me.
I have breaking news.
Oh.
I quit bars now.
I saw KB's apartment.
What?
Yep.
I went into KB's apartment. What? Yep, I went into KB's apartment.
And?
I was, the feng shui's off.
Describe it.
A bed, a bike, a poster for Zion National Park.
Have you been?
It's my favorite now.
Is this a studio?
This all makes sense.
Geographically the most aesthetically pleasing place in the world. He
has the largest plastic
tub filled with
every article of clothing he's ever owned. It's like the
size of a coffin. So no drawers,
just a tub. No drawers. I like that.
I like that. That's great.
He was like, yeah, it would need a
it was the death of like Taft.
Matthew
and then I was just like, what's this?
And I thought it was, he was like, oh, that's my closet.
I opened it up.
It's just a fucking other room that he calls his closet, but nothing in it.
He could put a desk.
You got a walk-in closet.
No, it is way bigger than a walk-in closet.
It's a nice-sized closet.
You don't use that as a bedroom?
No, yeah.
He could put a desk and a TV and a couch.
Nothing's in there?
Nothing.
He doesn't have clothes in there. It's all in the tub. TV and a couch. Nothing's in there? Nothing. He doesn't have clothes in there.
It's all in the tub.
Why wouldn't you put your bed in there?
The bed won't fit.
Oh, you're misunderstanding this.
Yeah, the bed fits fine in the studio apartment.
Got it.
If I tried to put it in the big closet, it wouldn't fit.
Got it.
So it is a closet.
It could be like a den.
Common cot could fit maybe.
Twin could fit.
He's overplaying it.
I'm not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
KB's apartment.
You might not get invited back to KB's apartment.
I like the tub system.
My dream closet is just like a huge table and just have everything just laying out.
That's what I know.
Yeah.
How good would that be
that's awesome it was just you walk in and it's like an enormous enormous table like a 20 by 20
table and it's just everything is out so you can see it all yeah i bought a pack of 15 black gildan
t-shirts from amazon i've been doing that and it just comes in this bag and i rip the top and i
just use it like tissues yeah i like that i that. I, before, like last week, before like, up until last week, I just had all of my clothes
in a massive pile in my closet.
Yeah.
And then I got a dresser and I cleaned everything up.
My room is the cleanest it's ever been.
And now suddenly, mice.
Mice.
Slash rats.
More room for them to play.
You got to decide whether it's a mice and a rat.
I don't think think I think the rats
are alphas
so if there's a rat
it would be all rats
how would a rat
get to a fifth floor
climb a pipe
we have rats
get everywhere
get everywhere
the size of the rats
that we see
on the street
outside our apartment
they're like
foot long rats
rats brought down
the Mongolian Empire
I think they could
handle you boys
black plague
that's the first time y'all have ever seen a mouse there?
No.
No.
We had a mouse a couple weeks ago.
Yeah, so you've had mice for a while.
Right.
Yeah.
This is fucked.
I have the same thing going with cockroaches right now.
I saw a cockroach two weeks ago.
And I was like, ah, whatever.
I would not.
I would rather.
And I opened up a door cabinet the other night and it was just cockroach city.
Oh, God.
Really?
The Nets probably brought them.
Yeah, the Nets did.
What do you even do?
Get an exterminator?
No, I.
Shoot it with a gun.
I got the.
I have raid and I just went fucking.
I probably took a couple of years off my life because I inhaled a lot of raid.
I'm fine with that.
But I, yeah, I just sprayed.
You got to get.
Insane amounts.
Like the grates for like all of your drains because I climb up those.
Yeah, and I also got the, I tweeted a picture of it.
There's a, it's like a roach motel and the tagline is they check in and they never check out.
The Eagles sang about that.
Fuck yes.
Yeah.
I got them.
When I lived in the Bronx, our window was right like where the garbage would go underneath.
And I guess I went down the Jersey Shore for a week and I guess I left the window cracked a little bit and
had a dead plant in my window but the window was like barely barely cracked didn't think anything
of it I get back from the shore I open up my door and it was like when I say there had to have been
at least 600 flies oh it was like I would have have that. It was like when you see like a dead body in an apartment and there's that many bugs.
And I was like,
what do I do?
What do you do?
I guess they had gotten into the,
like all they need is one little,
like they were everywhere.
And then they lay their eggs on everything and they keep proliferating.
And I had left garbage in my trash can and like whatever.
So I had to throw out the
exterminator was like you got to throw out your couch you got to throw out your sheets you got
like you got to either like steam everything that because the fly eggs had infested and I'm like not
that dirty of a person not that dirty of a person no you're dirty I felt so dirty I felt like such
a scumbag like the it was like you couldn't walk they were everywhere it felt like such a scumbag. It was like you couldn't walk. They were everywhere.
It felt like a fucking nightmare.
I would have liked to have one of those fly swatters
and just go to town. New York is brutal
for humans.
It's just like, hey,
do you think fighting in war and being overseas
stationed has tempered your
phobias of other things like pests?
No. You still have the
same fears as other normal people?
Terrified of bees.
Hate that stuff.
These are fucking losers.
I'll kill a bee, no problem.
I'm not too afraid of bees.
Oh, fuck a bee.
Don't bother me.
But if I was allergic, if there was a very common bug that could kill me,
I'd be afraid of bees.
Bed bugs are my most terrifying thing in the world now.
Lice.
Remember when Clay Travis just admitted his kids had lice?
That was awesome.
That was always like a big secret.
Yeah, no, and he just tweeted like,
Delta wouldn't let me fly because my kids have lice.
And we're like, your kids have lice?
We kind of side with Delta here.
You guys ever have it?
Lice?
I've never had lice.
Surprisingly, I've never had it either.
What? I was a kid yeah they came through the class with the whole class got it with the comb it would be funny if we had a lice outbreak at barstool would be funny
well in chicago i was i forget what neighborhood i was in but i was bar hopping and i was like is
this a storefront for lice it was a cute little like it was for kids and it looked like a cute hair salon but the thing was like lice was the sign and it was just you
took your kids there you go buy them yeah get them like d lice what do you mean this was the sign
like that was the name of the place was like lice no nice or something like that it was like
something lice and it was go pick them up cutesy where you went and you got your kids de-loused I
guess you call it but like that's how much of a problem it is. What if we did?
Oh, yeah.
So Delta pulled my family off its plane on Saturday,
refused to allow us to travel home.
Read the article, bud.
Oh, yeah, I think he might have.
Chances are someone on every flight has lice.
What?
He just went off on it.
Was he mad at the airline for not letting-
Yes, yes.
Stop.
Kids get it all the time.
He was like, this is not right that my kids are not allowed to fly with lice.
How did the airline figure out the kids had lice?
They probably were itching like crazy.
It was just such a great cell phone.
I've never seen them check a kid's mind.
He just went online and thinking like, everyone's going to think I'm right here.
And everyone's like, dude, your kids have lice?
That's a lot like when he got kicked out of the Little League.
I was going to say that he released an 8 minute video Complaining about how his son's
Little League ump threw him out
On a controversial call
He thought people would be on his side
And how he just
Went off on the umpire
That was like the morally righteous thing
I love when people do that shit
10 year olds
They just hop online and they just think that they're going to make a great point
Everyone's like It it's awesome.
It's like the
Tony Pizza girl. Oh yeah.
She had that story about how her boyfriend
calls her Tony Pizza and being like,
what do I do? And everyone's like,
what do you mean what do you do? That's an awesome nickname.
Your boyfriend rocks.
What is that?
Yeah, I don't know this one.
Oh, you didn't know this one? Can you find it for us?
Her boyfriend was only calling her Tony Pizza.
Mm-hmm.
And she was like-
That's like the old school one that was like-
Well, they started with cute nicknames and it evolved to Tony Pizza.
But the other nicknames weren't cute.
No.
Right.
I thought they were.
I thought they started it.
Oh, no, no, no.
Tony Pizza's awesome.
It was like stinky meat or something.
You gotta find it.
Marry this man.
Marry this man.
Where's the,
where's the action?
Alright,
here it is.
Yeah.
I and my boyfriend
currently live together
and have been together
about four months.
To explain why
we're living together
at the four month mark,
we started out as roommates
but then started dating.
I have to say,
my boyfriend has never
been good at pet names.
Some early ones
were Little Stubster
and Sour Meat.
Yeah, Sour Meat.
One of my nicknames for him in comparison is Little Bird.
Anyway, about two weeks ago, he starts calling me Tony Pizza.
It doesn't even make sense, and he uses it more often than my actual name.
He is obsessed.
It honestly bothers me that he can't even bother to find a somewhat nice nickname for me.
I have had a couple of conversations with him about it, but he says he just can't think of anything better.
What do I do?
Is this going to become a bigger problem,
or should I even address it?
I hate being Tony Pizza.
And obviously the internet was like,
wait, Tony Pizza's a fucking sick nickname.
Tony Pizza.
Sour Meat?
How did he get to Sour Meat?
Sour Meat is...
Sounds like a good band name.
Yeah, her pussy must stink.
Yeah.
At Katie Money Grabs.
You're out of a job.
I think Ebony's dropped today.
I know.
What?
There's going to be real.
Are you on OnlyFans, too?
Oh, buddy, I'm at 6.5K.
Wow.
In less than a week.
I'll show my cock on your OnlyFans for you.
By all means.
Okay.
Beav is in the background of all hers, just naked.
I did have, this weekend, I got into bed with him with a bop-it when he was sleeping.
So bop-it, twist it, pull it, you know?
Yeah.
So I said, twist and bop-it and pulling him around with my Beav in bed.
And it got a bunch of new subscribers because I wanted to see what I was doing in bed.
6,000 plus subscribers.
No, $6,000, $6,700.
$6,500. That's awesome. That's awesome. Shout. No, $6,000? $6,700? $6,500 so far. That's awesome.
That's awesome.
Shout it out.
What is it called?
What is the name?
At Katie Money Grabs.
Katie Money Grabs.
Yeah.
And you said you will show puss?
Eventually.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a slow, but it's addicting.
Like, yeah.
I like, yes, probably eventually.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like you'll get to a point where, like, you do, like, a video that's, like, right on the edge.
And you'll get everyone buying it.
And you'll be like, well, guess I'm going to show up.
Might as well.
You got one card left to play.
I've been sending people.
People are, like, who private message me.
Like, come on, send me a little something.
I've been sending them pics of you.
And then I say, oh, my bad, wrong pic.
And then I leave them hanging.
Kind of edging him
out for more i feel like you are the best bang for your buck because there is like a mystique
mystery i do yeah guys are still getting off talking to you well did you see the photo i
sent you guys this weekend who thought that was me by the way then i sent a photo of me naked
i think it was sass okay no what no i didn't even see this um some guy was like tell me to wedgie
myself and he tipped me five dollars they could. Some guy was like, tell me to wedgie myself.
And he tipped me $5.
And so I was like, go wedgie yourself, you little bitch.
In a way, you say this, you just give him an audio message or a video.
I texted him back.
I messaged him back to him.
I was like, go wedgie yourself.
Then he sent me a picture of him wedging himself.
And it was pathetic.
I said, that's Che level.
That's nothing.
That's pathetic.
I want a real wedgie, a little worm.
And he sent me back.
Did you see the photo in there?
Yes.
Oh, wait.
Now I know what you're talking about.
He hung himself by his crotch.
Oh, that was a real picture that someone sent?
Yes.
Show it.
I thought that was a picture that was sent.
Google.
No.
Can we show it?
That's a real.
You have to hide his username.
I don't know.
Okay.
But he used a series of bungee cords to hang himself off his
like back you're a dog yeah i know i love it really weird i didn't know that was real no no
this is weird this is something you can get from kate yeah i will as other other only fans
contributors will only give you pictures of their clothed body yep but you've seen millions of times
you will put them through a workout also guys are
sending me oh yeah yeah guys are sending me their their dick pics and most are really nice like can
i send you my dick and i might most are really nice no no no no no the guys are nice to ask
and i say by all means the only thing is i won't open it i tell them that but i say i will judge
i will grade your dick through the fuzzy fuzz.
So I can see an outline of it, kind of.
So I give them a replay of what I think their dick is like, and I try and be supportive.
So there haven't been any dicks that got a click from you?
I did a couple.
I did a couple.
By accident, because some of them look like they could be something else.
And I'm like, is this a joke?
So I click it, and it is a dick.
All right, so if anybody wants to fool you
I could just be like
hey just wanted to say
you made me smile today
and then you open it
it's my fucking cock
it's your cock
absolutely
that's crazy
if you want to do that
Katie Moneygrabs
let's blow you up
because I think
a lot of the apprehension
comes from
they don't want to be
perceived as this creep
that you're
no normalized kink
if it was my Instagram
or Twitter or whatever
that's different
but this is OnlyFans
what about something
for the more laid back, the more tame individual?
The vanilla boys.
What do you mean?
Something like me.
I say I wanted to subscribe, but in my head, that's very creepy.
Yeah.
Most of the subscribers, I feel like, are from the Yak, because a lot of them are calling me C-A-T-E.
They're calling me Yak Kate, blah, blah, blah.
They're like, I'm just here to support
for the slush fund yeah let's just support the yak by subscribing to kate because the portion
is going to the slush fund i'll subscribe and we can all do it yeah everyone's my only i don't
want to see how big you can get thank you it's not weird awesome there's no stigma we're gonna
all subscribe fans account we're all gonna subscribeans account. We're all going to subscribe to Kate.
Right.
Do you have to make a new one, or do you?
Let me just see what I can do.
You're already linked up?
Your card's already linked up?
And it's done.
I did wonder if any coworkers were following,
like anyone from the third floor.
I just wanted to know.
Lenny's been on that shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
His budget has to be out of control.
It is addicting, though.
Like, I'm not going to lie.
There's something about it.
Only fans?
Yes.
Seeing the money rolling.
DJ, should we not put the subscribers up?
Because I feel like people might fuck with us.
It's gone up 100 since we put it up.
Okay.
All right, all right.
I promise this.
If you subscribe to the Yak,
I will put a spicy photo on my OnlyFans.
Oh.
So send it to your.
Are you drinking hot sauce?
Yeah.
Oh, we lost one, Kate.
Absolutely.
We lost a couple.
This is going to go.
It'll go the other way.
They're going to fuck with us.
Yeah, they're going to fuck with us.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Brandon, how was your ride?
Come on.
Come on, dickheads.
Be nice.
The ride was fine, but I don't like the beach.
God damn it.
You don't like the beach?
I don't like the beach I'm at, no.
You miss my dad's?
I do miss your dad's.
Very tastefully done apartment.
I'm on a beach I don't like.
Why?
They knock everybody off at 7 o'clock.
I got there at 5 o'clock yesterday, and they had stopped selling beach tags,
so they wouldn't let me on the beach.
I couldn't go to the beach.
And like you said, when you have kids.
It's a beach.
You should be able to walk around.
They get real mad.
Yeah, and I had to explain to a 5-year-old why we couldn't go on the beach
because we didn't get any time to buy the tags.
Take it off, TJ.
Oh, yeah.
Take it off, TJ.
Let's stop acknowledging it.
Take it off, TJ.
Yeah, we've got to stop acknowledging it because that will just...
Yeah.
I think that even when we get close to 100, they're going to fuck with us and go down.
Should we wait until we get to like 100?
We just shouldn't acknowledge it.
We should end the show right before 100K.
It's just like, be nice to us, guys.
We really want to get to 100K.
It's something that...
We're giving you a 12-hour show.
Also, the fans should want...
We're all in this together.
I genuinely really care about this. Right. Also, we're doing a 12-hour show. Also, the fans should want, like, we're all in this together. I genuinely really care about this.
Right.
Also, we're doing a 12-hour show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have we decided what time of day we're going to do that at?
Let's do two to two.
We timed it well for football season, too.
One to one.
Two to two sounds good.
I think we do.
Brandon has a show at five.
Yeah, we'll just.
In here, though.
It's in here.
Perfect.
I think we go five to five.
Five to. Overnight. I think it'd be funny to do. No, not overnight.... In here, though. It's in here. Perfect. I think we go five to five. Five to...
Overnight?
I like starting early.
Not overnight.
Early morning.
Early morning.
5 a.m.?
Yeah.
I actually like that a lot.
Just rock all day long because everyone's at work.
I could do that.
That's a good idea.
I like a 5 a.m. start.
Yeah, we're basically like a morning show.
We do the whole radio day.
Yeah.
Would you allow call-ins that day?
I feel like that makes... Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Would you allow call-ins that day? I feel like that makes sense.
Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
I'm sure the time would get there. I don't know why, but six to six
sounds better. You have your
fucking stupid little show.
Oh, that's going to be awesome that Brandon has
to just do another hour.
Yeah, Brandon, see ya.
I would like to do six to six.
Getting in at six sounds so much better
than getting in at five.
You have your show. Well, we'll do something that day. I, just getting in at six sounds so much better than getting in at five. But you have your show.
Well, we'll do something that day.
I don't know.
We'll figure it out.
If we did it on a Friday, we don't have Brandon's show.
No.
Ah.
That would kind of ruin the weekend.
What if we did it on either Thursday or Monday and just rolled in like we could just watch the game,
but that could knock out kind of three and a half hours?
You just want to watch the game.
The fuck?
Yeah.
What game?
No, we're entertainers, Che.
Well, yeah.
We would still talk and stuff like that.
That would just be a gambling live stream.
Yeah.
But it, I mean, knocks out 25% of it.
I understand.
He's so proud of himself because of what he did or disappointed in himself.
So whatever he says this week is bullshit. Let's talk about surviving
Barstool.
Oh yeah, Chase reminded me of the show you were on.
Steven just sat down. He's never sat down.
He did way.
This sucks for him because until
surviving Barstool comes out, we'll just hold this over his head.
Yeah. And does it come out? I think it comes
out at the end of August, right? No,
I think I'm going to push it back.
Fuck yeah. 2023. Steven, are you getting ready for data right? No, I think I'm going to push it back. Fuck yeah.
2023.
Steven, are you getting ready for Data Day?
Oh, fuck.
We're like two or three weeks away.
Yep, a lot of prep.
I was diving into Warren Sharp's book a lot this week. I saw you, yeah.
So really, Warren Sharp could just do it.
So it'll be Thursday.
I think it should be Thursday, the kickoff, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that afternoon.
That afternoon, yeah.
I'm so excited.
So excited.
Saturday is one of my favorite days.
And when does the season start?
Right after Labor Day.
Thursday after Labor Day.
Yeah.
And wait.
Yeah.
Boys excited?
Oh, yeah.
You hear about Flacco, Seth?
I did.
Devastating?
Well, it's devastating what's going on with him.
Nope.
That's really good.
Yeah.
You got it.
I'm happy for him.
Everybody is, yeah.
He's killing it.
So I want to do the Shady Rays ad.
Brandon, why don't you do it?
Yeah, you get migraines.
These would help.
Yeah, they would.
Steven, I'm going to need some Shady Rays.
Just go ahead and take care of that for me.
Shady Rays has the essentials you need to make summer complete.
They offer sunglasses.
Oh, I'm sorry. Shady Rays sunglasses offer essentials you need to make summer complete. They offer sunglasses. Oh, I'm sorry.
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Go to ShadyRays.com and use code YAK for 50% off two pairs or more of polarized sunglasses.
Great read.
Great read.
Brandon.
Thanks, buddy.
Thank you.
Don't buddy me, pal.
Thank you, fella, huh?
You ever use polarized glasses?
I never have, no. Great for spotting fish in the water. I can see the fish in the water. I don't buddy me. Polarized glasses, Brandon. Thank you, fella. Huh? You ever use polarized glasses? I never have.
No.
Great for spotting fish in the water.
I can see the fish in the water.
I don't like that.
Cheating.
Cheating.
That's cheating.
So do you use bait?
I do, but I don't like anything that creates a competitive advantage between me and the
fish.
I love that little...
It's a fish, and you're a man.
You can't see them like...
I wanted to be a 50-50.
You guys are on the equal plane.
Yeah.
And it just throws a hook into the water.
If you wanted to be 50-50, you should swim and catch them with your hands.
I'll be 50-50.
Kyle does it.
Did you hear from that gynecologist?
Kyle does it too.
I did not hear from him, no.
You've been having a ton of lookalikes pop up.
You too, though.
Yeah.
I think that's just being a person.
It might be.
You look like that helicopter pilot as well.
And the BMX guy.
Oh, the BMX guy looked exactly like him.
All of your guys are extreme.
I know.
Mine are all extreme.
They're probably all Kyle.
The BMX guy looked a lot like me.
BMX guy I thought was a Photoshop.
Did you see it?
So many people said that.
Where does that exist?
I'll check.
Y'all got the BFW bump on anus this week.
Yeah, we did.
It was huge. Thank you for...
Is this him?
No, that's not the one.
It's in a parking lot.
That's a pedicab driver.
That's not extreme.
No, that's just...
He looks more like him when he pulls up. Yeah. That's a pedicab driver. That's not extreme. No, that's just extreme. That's just extreme.
He looks more like him when he pulls up in that.
That's not it, but I'm kind of convincing myself now.
Yeah, it is.
That's him.
I'll find it.
I'll find it.
Maybe that should be a punishment.
That'd be great.
Ebony said, shout a bitch out.
Securities.
Oh, she's got an OnlyFans? Securities. Everyone has an OnlyFansony said, shout a bitch out. Securities. Oh,
she's got an OnlyFans?
Securities. Everybody has an OnlyFans now?
I believe so,
yeah.
Everybody has one.
I was gone for Grit Week
and I feel like I missed
the OnlyFans.
Oh,
you missed a lot.
I was Everest equivalent.
You're the poorest person
at the company now.
I dominated it.
It was so easy that I-
Was it easy?
Well,
I ate mushrooms
for the second half.
Oh,
damn.
How long did it take you guys?
It was like probably about four hours.
That's so funny.
We also did Everest Equivalent off my Apple Watch.
So when we stopped for a break, I just paced around to get more time, to get more distance.
That's good for the team.
How many miles is it?
What is it?
It was five and a half.
Yeah.
Oh, that's not too bad. Pretty much all of our, we walked up for about an hour and then the rest of the time was
like walking laterally around the mountain.
That's hilarious.
I actually thought Aria was going to die though at one point because he was struggling.
Where were you?
Where would you guys hike?
Chautauqua in Boulder.
Oh, nice.
They were like, it's where the sorority girls hike.
And we're like, oh, we're going to nail this.
And then when we got there, we realized sorority girls are kind of in good shape.
Yeah, they are.
So we were getting fucking passed by dogs, by little kids.
Everyone was passing us on the way up Everest.
Was everyone else doing Everest, or were you guys just doing it solo?
We were just doing it solo.
We had the flags, the Nepalese flags. That's cool. Was everyone else doing Everest or were you guys just doing it solo? We were just doing it solo. We had the flags, the Nepalese flags.
That's hilarious.
Any snow at the top?
No, the person who gave me cocaine, I actually gave it away.
Oh, hell yeah.
Dude, Colorado is, you know, we all know it's mountainous, but it's more so than anyone would imagine.
Yeah, that's an astute point.
It's really beautiful. It's true. that was a really good way of entering the conversation
yeah but i was looking at the top 200 highest peaks in america as one would do alaska dominates
like the very top front like the top 20 denali then after that it's all in colorado right nothing
even like on the east of the Mississippi.
Fucking beautiful.
So many high peaks.
I think Texas has some big ones.
No.
No.
Wrong.
I think they do.
Usually when he says something outlandish like this, he always proves us wrong.
So we got to look it up.
I don't think so.
I think the western area is mountainous, but as far as the high peaks, Colorado.
Yeah.
We have to go to Colorado.
We go to Alaska Saturday.
We do, yeah.
How long?
Seven days.
Damn.
You feel the oxygen at all up there?
No, not really.
No, it was good.
Yeah.
How high was the peak?
We were like 40,000 feet up.
Oh, damn. That's pretty good. What is this? 40,000 feet up Damn that's pretty good
What is this?
No that's not
Guadalupe peak?
That's 8,000
That's neat
8,000 is a lot
West Virginia is spruce knob
Can you look up the top 10 tallest mountains in America?
The west and the east is no comparison.
Aria did have altitude poisoning sass.
He started puking.
Really?
This was before the hike.
It's from being in Colorado.
We were playing Frisbee golf.
We were walking around, and it was, yeah.
Yeah, no, I felt fine.
You're kind of a pussy.
Did have oxygen tanks.
Yeah, the sprays.
Those things don't do shit. Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. Literally just
$40. You feel like an asshole
when you use it. That was a
shark tank product, wasn't it?
When I was in Telluride, I was at a bar
and I had one of those on me.
It was all
locals. Because Telluride, the base
is like, ground level is
10,000 feet or 8,000 feet or something like that.
And I was like super lightheaded and stuff.
And I was at a bar and you could tell everyone there knew each other.
And I spilt my drink and then this big ass canister of oxygen falls out of my body.
And I was like, dude, I feel like the biggest fucking loser.
Oh, man.
Speaking of peaks, TJ, can you find that video I just tweeted like maybe an hour ago?
I think we should do this as a punishment.
I don't know if you guys saw this.
The bike?
Yeah.
Dude.
We should do this as a punishment.
You couldn't pay me.
One person should have to go do this.
It's going to be me.
What is this?
What should Nick do?
It's a bike ride.
It's a bike race down a glacier.
And it's fucking awesome.
Oh, I saw this.
Because it's just an entire wreck.
Did you see they saw a Sasquatch walking down a glacier?
Yes.
Watch this.
Watch this.
It's just everyone eating shit.
Oh, God.
I mean, everybody's just falling.
It's so awesome.
There has to be deaths.
Oh, yeah.
This rules.
Look at the guy struggling to crawl.
Yeah, that's awesome. You could watch this a hundred times and pick out a different person. Look at that pile. Oh, yeah. This rules. Look at the guy struggling to crawl. You could watch this a hundred times and pick out a different person.
Look at that pile.
Oh, my God.
It looks like spiders.
It looks like spiders.
Well, yeah, the shading, the color scheme makes them look like critters.
Look at them just sliding.
How would you get?
I guess they're all going around the edge.
Yeah, I've just been picking out a different guy.
Yeah, you can pick out a different guy every time.
And they just wait until they fall. Yeah, everyone's falling. My guy's still up. Down. Shit. Yeah, I've just been picking out a different guy. Yeah, you can pick out a different guy every time. And they just wait until they fall.
Yeah, everyone's falling.
My guy's still up.
Down.
Shit.
Oh, my guy stayed up.
Made it all the way through?
Yeah.
Wait, was there...
Can you go to the beginning?
Was there one guy that just fucking...
Yeah, there's a few guys that just cruised right down.
And then if one guy falls...
Yeah, you gotta get out in front.
I mean, they must have been so pissed at that one dude.
Yeah.
I mean, you just have to... pissed at that one dude. Yeah. I mean, you just have to know.
There he is.
There he is.
The guy on the left just took out the whole goddamn mountain.
Can you blame him?
Oh, and then that was it.
Jesus.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that guy got.
Oh, my God.
How did he get back up?
Fucking rules.
That guy crawling is so funny.
Is he going to go down the pit?
Oh, man.
Oh, no.
Go back.
I want to see that.
He hit him behind the legs.
He fucking slid into the back of his legs.
Oh, my God.
Oh, this is so awesome.
Did he hit him twice?
Oh, fuck.
Let me grab this bike.
This is awesome because you know from what you know about cyclists like they're not laughing
about no they're very mad no no like pierre just was like a whole race that's all what town is this
in uh it's the alps the french alps or something oh they're french even better yeah is this a
recent video it works uh yeah it is the reason why it looks like it's black and white is just
because of the sun exposure like it went up and you could see that the sky was blue.
So it's just, yeah, when they zoom in, you could see colors.
Yeah, it does.
At first, you're like, what year is this?
I feel like that would be hilarious.
Now they're all working together to try to get down.
I never watched all the way to the end because I got so.
What is their behavior after they crash?
They look like they completely gave up. I don't think they're racing anymore their behavior after they crash? They look like they completely gave up.
I don't think they're racing anymore.
They all gave up.
Oh, look, these guys are going.
No, they're going.
They're going back.
Yeah, they're hopping back on.
Others just crawled off the ledge.
Oh, that's like rocky.
They're not even moving.
It's ice.
It's just ice.
It's a glacier.
So they hit those rocks hard and just...
Oh, yes.
Oh, this is slow-mo?
That's the guy who fucked everything up.
That guy just barely hit it out.
Oh, yes.
Oh, my God.
This guy runs over this guy's head.
Oh!
Is that a shoe?
I think that's a shoe.
I love the guys who go back.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's a shoe. Yeah, that's a shoe. I love the guys who go back. I think that's a shoe.
Yeah, that's a piece.
That would suck the most. Losing a shoe?
You want a glacier? One shoe?
Oh, what's up?
And you know they're like clip-in bikes probably.
Oh, yeah. Oh, man.
And then you're in that position. You have to go
all the way down. Yeah, there's nothing else
you can do. A lot of crawling.
Holy shit. They're also hurt. These people just sliding. There's nothing else you can do. A lot of crawling.
Holy shit.
They're also hurt.
Look at these people just sliding.
There's an errant bike just going down a road.
Oh, man.
There's so much.
Oh, there's Kyle.
Oh.
Kyle's so extreme.
Extreme KBs.
Whoa.
They've been everywhere lately. They've been everywhere lately.
They've been everywhere.
How long did it take you to learn that? That's just your face, dude.
I haven't had a chain on my bike in seven years.
Oh, cool.
Neither have I.
I haven't had a bike.
Oh, yeah.
Make it easy.
It's really on you, dude.
It's you.
It's completely you.
That's awesome. Jesus. You're a badass.
That's hilarious.
I think the helicopter pilot looks like him as well.
That got me into a wormhole of watching these helicopter pilots pick up guys that work on power lines.
For emergency situations?
No, that's how they get them.
Have you seen that,
Zah?
I said,
you look perplexed.
I mean,
it's something that's right up my alley.
Now I'm going to be looking,
looking at that.
Y'all know where Zah went today?
Where?
Club fitting?
Yes.
Fuck yes.
Oh,
hell yeah.
There you go.
Zah,
your tweet made me laugh very hard this weekend when you're like,
I've played a lot of
parking uh parking simulator what an outrageous way to introduce something i mean that's that was
awesome that's that's that's just played a lot of it yeah that's like trust the process in a tweet
but yeah no i do on on my phone truck simulator do you go back and forth vehicles, or do you have times where you'll just rip truck for a few months?
No, it's more so the parking simulators.
So I play the speedboat.
I do the speedboat.
It's the worst thing ever.
I do the speedboat one.
The traffic simulator?
How you just said it.
You're so fucking miserable.
So I do the speedboat one.
Okay.
That helps you learn how to drift and shit like that.
So backing a boat into water?
Can we put a video on him
Can he do it for us real quick
I do it on my phone
Yeah I know
Take out your phone
And we get a
I want to watch you do it
I would like to watch you park
We'll set up like a stream yeah
So are you parking like a semi truck
Yeah so yeah
So semis
We're doing semis for the trailer
Yeah
So that's why
I've tried that move
But I've like
Not been able to do it
You still didn't get it Pull up the move TJ You should I want to watch you I want to have a show trailer yeah so that's why i've tried that move but i've like not been able to do it you still
didn't get it up to move tj you should uh i want to watch you i want to have a show where we just
watch you park shit yeah we could do that during the marathon yeah actually that's great that's
perfect we'll just do an hour straight of zot parking shit each hour can have a little that
would be a great yeah yeah every hour could be something somebody's best at. I put in hella hours on trailer truck parking.
The guy didn't even watch the video.
I just saw that first line and I laughed.
Is this a video game?
This is real life.
This is real life.
This guy's just a badass.
Oh, he's going to park it in there?
Yeah.
I once got hired to do this, to park semi-trailers, and I did it for two hours.
How is he even doing that?
It's moving on an axis almost.
Incredible.
Yeah, he's good.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Incredible.
Look at that.
That's insane.
Hella hours.
Yeah, he kind of missed it, though.
You got to correct it.
He straightened out.
It would have been cooler if he didn't have to straighten out.
It would have been.
Just being honest.
Just judging it, I'd give it a 9.9.
That one little...
Yeah, I mean, if he had done it all in one move...
This video has 14 million views on Twitter.
13 million?
Zah's 13 million of them.
It was on 10 when I tweeted it out.
Zah, I saw that plane landing during 40 mile an hour tailwinds.
The crosswind stuff?
Oh, yeah.
Everyone just went to the account.
My pilot buddy was buzzing about that.
That shit is nuts.
Sent it to him.
The way they come in sideways, it's crazy.
Who's that big guy?
Another big guy?
Another big guy?
There's a big guy over there.
I don't see a big guy.
It's a small guy.
Oh, there was a big guy.
Oh, no. There was a big guy. I just saw him. I believe there was a big guy. I see tons of guy that was there. I didn't see a big guy. It's a small guy. Oh, there was a big guy. Oh, no, there was a big guy.
I just saw him.
I believe there was a big guy.
I see tons of small men.
Yeah.
How big?
There's the big boy.
What's going on?
He's wearing a big bright shirt.
Somebody had a head watch.
Fresh Express.
Okay.
Sass, how many times
have you been tagged
in that female lookalike of you?
Oh, that's another one.
And that is a good one.
Sass doesn't have his headphones on.
I don't.
Look, girl Sass. They work. I don't. Look, girl sass.
I don't think that we look alike at all.
I think you guys are wearing the same outfit like now.
Can you play the video?
Remember when Brianna said that her friend looked like me and that was the meanest tweet ever?
Yeah.
I didn't realize it.
By far.
Yeah.
She looks so much like you.
She's like, what?
What's the problem?
It's like, well, I'm a large man.
Yeah.
No, but she was like, oh, you're a handsome guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, well.
If you're not offended, I'm not offended.
Right.
Oh, man.
I get told I look like Fights all the time.
Fights has a million doppelgangers.
He gets so many, and they're all genders.
Wasn't he the face of Swiss Durex condoms?
Yes.
And he looked like that tomato.
He looked like a Cabbage Patch Kid.
He had a porn doppelganger, too.
Tomato was fantastic.
Yeah.
That was a great tomato.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Oh, and you had that autistic kid at Great Wolf Lodge?
Oh, that was identical to you.
Yeah, that did.
It was so close to that.
I was like, wait.
The only reason it wasn't me was his nipples were a little off.
It was identical.
It was an autistic kid laying in a wave pool.
It was like autistic kids love sensory feelings like being in a wave pool,
and it was just me.
Yeah, it was like, to you, it's just a wave pool.
We find that.
It was me.
Is this like a child?
No, it was him.
It was an adult autistic?
It was me.
It was Dan.
It was me.
Okay.
Okay, I'm just making sure it wasn't like a young child.
If we can find it, you'll see it, and you'll be like, that's you.
It was 100% me.
It's shocking.
I want to see this.
I could try to find it. You want to
spin the wheel? I'll try to find it. Are we pro
Great Wolf Lodge? I am very
pro. Should be pro. Yeah.
Have you been? I've never been.
I think it's dependent on
the fucking rules.
Well, there's one in the Wisconsin Dells.
I went to one in the Poconos. The one in
California sucks. It's a chain.
Why would you need one in California?
I think the best time to bring a kid is when they're a little too old for it.
And they're just like dominated a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
Well, there's no touch screen entries or check-ins.
So you all have to wait.
It's just very.
It's also a very primal place because there's only a set amount of chairs and places and towels.
And people get protective
and you'll see some fights.
That gets people fired up. Limited chairs.
Limited chairs will fuck people up in a hurry.
Spin it.
Kind of rude to the wheel there, Brandon.
I don't think I was.
I was ready to see the wheel.
What's monster dip?
You gotta put a big chew in or you could take a big ol' plunge. I don't think I was. I was ready to see the wheel. What is monster dip? You got to find it.
You put a big chew in, or you could take a big old plunge.
It could really be anything.
Yeah, it could be anything.
Any kind of dip, a seven layer.
What if I brought a huge thing of like, yeah, chip dip?
Sure, that would be awesome.
Yeah, I wouldn't be mad at that.
I haven't had a good chip dip in a while.
They're so underrated.
Yeah.
Buffalo chicken dip. I have this idea for like an appetizer restaurant. That is a while. They're so underrated. Yeah. Buffalo chicken dip.
I have this idea for like an appetizer restaurant.
That is a dip.
Where it's just dips.
What?
A rotating cast of dips.
Dips.
So it's like you come in.
The melting pot.
Are we dry?
Oh.
Yeah, we're dry.
We found the place.
Fondue place.
It's different though.
Yeah.
Kind of like a serve yourself.
Also, I think melting pot is going up. A face style. At like a serve yourself also I think
melting pot's going out
at least a couple
I would like
just a sauce
buffet
no dude
where you get just
set dippers
crackers
cheeses
and you can just
try a different sauce
I don't know what
melting pot is
autism heaven
no worries
no judgment
so is that water cold Dan? that is just you that's me yeah
that's me you know it wasn't the nipples nipples are spot on there it's a nipple ganger
it was the fact that he has yeah it is a spot on nipple ganger it's the um armpit hair i don't
have a dark armpit hair really everything don't have dark armpit hair. Really? Everything else is me.
Yeah, look, my nipples.
I have to see more of them.
That's your nipples.
That's my nipples.
It is your exact nipple.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Oh, you're right.
No, you don't.
Oh.
So that was the only thing that made it be like,
because at first I was like, that is me.
They took a video of me because i
have been in a great wolf lodge and i've also been down a like a water slide and i was like that's me
but yeah when we find the actual video of it i want to see it if there's other angles or i think
it was just a picture you know guy like is kind of like why the fuck did you post this like whoever
took that video of him i feel like people like autism and like they still like they know what's going on.
Oh, duh.
Chris actually wrote a great blog on Friday.
Yeah.
Chris's blog was phenomenal.
It was really, really cool.
How big time time again.
He's the best dude.
Oh, yeah.
In my opinion.
Okay, fine.
The best dude?
Yeah.
No, it's fact.
I don't know what you're getting takes off.
There's the big guy.
There's the big guy.
There's the big guy.
That guy works here.
That's sausage.
That guy works here.
Oh, that's not sausage.
I thought that was sausage.
Yeah, it's not sausage.
I've been here for a while. That's not sausage. No, no thought that was Sausage. Yeah, I've worked here.
I've been here for a while.
That's not Sausage.
No, no, Rico's showing him around.
That's not.
That guy doesn't work here.
Rico's showing him around. He does work here.
That guy works here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Credits to Sausage for sticking at Barstool after getting that nickname.
I didn't know this.
He drove me back from the shore on one Monday morning.
Yeah, Sage's a great dude, but getting the nickname Sausage is brutal.
Is it?
Rutgers guy.
Yeah, I think it's brutal.
Is it not?
It's sausage.
Sausage.
There's no Tony Pizza.
You called a sausage?
Sour meat?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sour meat?
It's part of the name.
Steven's fucking cracking up.
Oh, the video.
Here we go.
Oh, damn.
That's me.
Oh, wait. Damn, ruined it. Oh, damn. That's me. Oh, wait.
Damn, ruined it.
Ruined it.
Not anymore.
Shouldn't have watched it.
Fuck.
Wait, is he not white?
I don't think he is now.
Yeah, that is it.
Wait, but he was when he was laying down.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was me laying down, and then when he stood up.
How did somebody realize this then?
That doesn't look like you at all.
At all.
Not even a little bit.
Oh.
What happened?
He got reverse whitewashed.
Hispanic man.
I think he was a child before that.
What?
Huh.
Yeah, that kind of ruined it.
That guy did not look good.
It's amazing like
from that other angle
we thought it was.
I thought it was me.
I saw it and was like, is that me?
Fucking crazy.
We should remake it.
Yeah, we should.
That's something you would do, too.
We would do it more as a joke, but he was in his comfort zone.
You think it's a joke, but I need it for the stimulation.
Yes, exactly. I bet it just feels awesome, though I need it for the stimulation. Yes, exactly.
I bet it just feels awesome, though.
Oh, yeah, that would look great.
Brandon, what's the shirt today?
Jurassic Park? Yeah, Jurassic Park.
Newman. The undershirt? No, I
abandoned the undershirt. Good.
You were a loser when you did that.
Yeah, so there's my skin right there.
That's one of your more meta shirts because
it has the guy from Jurassic Park on it,
but it's also the pattern of the shirt that he wore in Jurassic Park.
Wow.
Yeah, it's kind of a real.
Oh, shit.
It's a thinker when it comes to shirts.
How many did you buy?
I bought two.
No, you own more than two of those.
I didn't say.
No.
Two different questions.
I bought two, and then they saw it and sent me a bunch of shirts.
No free ads.
No free ads.
But they happened to hit me right at the time where I started living out of a suitcase.
I haven't had a house in two months, so it's been easy to just grab them and go.
I'm living for the next two weeks in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey.
Beautiful.
How long were you out there for?
Two weeks.
Two weeks.
Two weeks. Not bad.
I think I was going to ask a different question.
But you said you don't like it?
No, I just don't like the way they do
the beach down there. I think every beach in
Jersey besides Atlantic City you have to pay to go on.
In Seattle
and Cape May I never had to pay.
I think they were just very lackadaisical about the
remember the Chris Christie picture.
Oh, it was all the beaches for COVID and he was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A chopper got him.
It was like the funniest.
He looked like a sausage just fucking way out by himself.
The way his body is.
Who are these boys?
TJ, check your DMs on Twitter.
I thought he was coming in here.
The way Chris Christie's body looks in a baseball uniform is the best.
He's got some great pictures.
Are you into the M&Ms?
I got a...
Yeah, can you zoom out?
He just knows he got fucking caught.
Yeah, he got caught, but the zoom out is the funniest part.
Who took the picture?
Was it a drone?
It was like a helicopter or a drone.
Yeah, there it is.
There's the zoom out.
There it is.
Look at that.
He's just fucking.
Knows he's busted.
No one but his family's on the beach.
I mean, that kind of.
Do you think you're not going to get caught, though?
Yeah.
He shut down the beaches then went?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is awesome.
He'd do something illegal.
Oh, he shut down the beach?
Yeah.
Well, he also.
I mean, if he shuts them down, he knows nobody else is going to be out there.
Yeah.
COVID's going on.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Jesus.
Wait, what was the other one where he was dumping the candy box into the other candy box?
Yeah, the M&M's into the M&M's.
Oh, yeah.
You costed some dude.
PJ, can you pull up the DM I just sent you on Twitter?
So my Aunt Peggy, she texts me.
She's down in Wildwood down the Jersey Shore.
And she'll send me like, look, it's the tip of a dolphin penis sticking out of the water.
She sends me all the wacky things that she sees down there.
And she sent me an all-timer this weekend.
So that right there is human shit.
Oh, really?
She said, yes, that is human shit on the beach.
Some poor woman was rushing to the bathroom, but it started running down her leg as she walked.
Aside from being plagued by the accompanying smell, it has provided great entertainment
as we watch people almost step in it as they walk through the water.
We do call out to protect them, but there have been a few who stepped in it.
Mike says, I'm sick for taking this.
That sand looks like it is harder than concrete.
Oh, shit.
What is that?
That's a lot of shit, too.
I would definitely think
that was ice cream.
Don't you think you would,
I would go to,
if you're gonna shit that bad,
you just gotta go to the water,
I think.
Yeah, you gotta aqua juice.
Yeah, that's why I thought,
sorry for sharing that,
but I would definitely go to the water.
Oh, that was a good share.
That was a good shit.
Oh, man.
Right, I would run
straight into the ocean.
If you're like,
if you know it's like
now or never,
like, you gotta go
to the ocean.
You can't.
Or dig a hole and just sit in the hole.
Yeah.
Something.
A towel around you.
How long are you going to sit in the hole?
For a while.
You guys never did sand diapers back in the day?
No.
Where you go into the hot sand after you get out of the cold sand and you sit in a circle
and you dig your own holes.
What?
Sand diapers?
So you're all sitting in a semicircle shitting?
No, you're just peeing.
Oh, okay.
Still.
Okay.
Yeah, no, we have penises, so we just pee.
Okay.
Yeah.
Walk into waist-deep water and it's done.
Nice way to warm up after you get out.
Whip it out and pee.
Okay.
Yeah, that's weird.
That is.
That was like a Pittsburgh toilet.
Got a good share and then a bad share.
That was a bad share.
Would you bring that technique back for the OnlyFans?
Yes, I would.
Yes, I certainly would.
Describe to the Yak, 100,000.
Kate's going to do it.
Yep.
I'll piss myself in the sand.
Oh, man.
I mean, that's just pure weakness.
That's human weakness. Not being able to hold it. I can tell that's just pure weakness. That's human weakness.
Nothing I'm able to hold in.
I can tell that I hate that person.
No, you're not a shy shitter.
You go shit in the slightest.
No, that's nothing to do with shyness.
It's like your body reaches a point of discomfort
that you just break down because you can't handle it anymore.
Wrong.
And then you just let your back.
Sometimes the asshole goes into business for himself.
Sometimes the asshole's like gyrate.
I believe that's just the result of human weakness.
Kyle, you let out minute-long farts in public.
Not hyperbole.
They last for a minute.
For a fact, this person, well, this was obviously humiliating for her.
She is so weak physically and mentally that as soon as there was pain
and she felt like
she couldn't
she just gave up
mentally
you promised me
there's no point
where you'd ever
shit yourself
I don't think
is it impossible
if I shit so many times
or I would have
the control
the disciplinary control
to just make it
slightly run down
my leg
where I could hide it
you would
it would be
that is
that is a very weak person. Let's do sugar-free
gummy bears on our 12-hour yak.
I would never
explode. Yes, you
would. Honestly, that
means you've never been hungover enough.
I've shit myself hungover.
You don't party hard enough.
That's weakness.
I probably have a bathroom
emergency three times a week.
I once drank 14 Guinnesses
and then the next day I went to take a piss
in an alley and just shit myself.
I've never shit myself either.
You shit yourself on the yak.
Yeah, that's true.
When you lift your legs up to fart,
you can see the turd pain.
But even then, I weighed the risk-reward
and I was like, this isn't going to splatter
out of my pants onto
the ground in a very visible form.
I think this would be funny if
I did shit myself slightly. That
is a weak human being.
Or she was funny as well. Dude, but like when
you have to shit like that, it's like you have no choice.
It's like you don't really have. We always have choices.
I don't think you do.
She's just never
she's never felt that much pain for that long of a time so she's like i'm too weak for this
it's gonna come out i think down the shore especially the house is so far and that mentally
just crushes you you're like there's no way i'm gonna make it oh kyle you shit your pants
i did okay but yeah but there's the video where you could see the lump come out from his asshole.
Wait, you had an anus episode you came into the recording with fishy poop in your pants.
Oh yeah, you had an oil discharge.
Oh, the cuttlefish.
Yes, that was the Yak podcast air.
Oh yes, that was best of the Yak.
Yeah.
So you shit yourself.
There's been a couple times.
Okay.
But all at your own will.
Yeah. You did it because you weighed the been a couple times. Okay. But all at your own will. Yeah.
You did it because you weighed the risk-reward,
and you thought it was fine.
Right.
Okay.
Even if it was subconsciously, yeah.
Did I just go, like, lean down to sniff?
Yeah, you went for it.
I can still smell that one.
Who's fishy?
Nick, can you confirm?
Cannot, Steve.
I'm too distracted.
Something smells like fish.
What's going on?
Is there fish in here?
I'm the producer.
You want me to fix it?
Did you bring fish in here?
Come over here.
At this point, you can pause it.
I knew I shit myself.
That's when I figured out you knew.
I was like, how do I play this the best way?
I forgot all about that.
Wait a minute.
Do you admit it in the video?
Not necessary.
I'm smelling Kyle's lap. Did you admit it in the video? Not necessary. I'm smelling Kyle's lap.
Did you drop the pizza on you?
Oh, my underneath.
Do you have a pussy?
You reek right now.
No, you were producing this.
Do you have a vagina?
Uh-oh.
Oh, my God.
He's running out.
Did you shit your pants?
It was just me.
Actually?
This actually is not a joke now.
He actually ran out of here in shame.
I want this to be looked at like those viral YouTube videos
where they're like
interrogating like serial
killers and stuff and I want them to like
zoom in on your facial expressions and stuff like that
yeah I mean I didn't
it was hard to feign like confidence
I was definitely embarrassed
but can you point out the
exact second you know you got caught?
I'm pretty sure you had me
go nose to his chair, big cat.
Oh, yeah.
You would do anything back then.
Oh, yeah.
So there I
know for a fact, so I'm panicking
right now.
I do that for the head shake.
Now I'm thinking in my head, what do I do?
I definitely laugh.
I don't try to act too embarrassed.
I'm part of the joke.
I'm laughing with you.
Do you have a pussy?
So I'm like, the best case scenario is to leave.
Do you have a vagina?
Yep.
That's how you pull it off.
Okay.
What do you think that lady could have done differently
before she exploded on the beach?
First, there's many physical maneuvers she could have done first.
Just sit down, plop down in the sand and do it.
That's what it takes.
Then she would have to get up.
Run to the water.
That's two very realistic options off the top.
She's weak.
I mean, when you shit yourself like that, it's usually like really, really bad shit.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's trying to escape from your body.
Yeah, shooting out.
Yeah.
Oh, there it is.
Wait, we were in face paint when you did it?
You can see the wet spot.
You were holding eye contact. The video video you can see like a little lump
Oh no
In that particular circumstance I did not defecate
So we went from you
What is the wet spot
I think there was just a stain on camera
Two times on camera
One hour out of the day
You're like the anti-gay politicians that are just very gay
I'll never suck a dick You're like the anti-gay politicians that are just very gay.
I'll never suck a dick.
You're like anti-shit pants.
Then we're just like, what about this?
So I started this argument hoping to get out in front of me ever getting accused.
And then it just did the reverse.
You're trying to close the beaches so you can be the only pooper?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I would never splatter like that.
That is insane.
It is. That's full release.
Yeah.
That is pushing.
I can't believe we had three examples on hand
of you shitting your pants.
It just came up within minutes.
Jesus, I thought we were all going to join in
and make fun of this woman.
I do
agree, splattering in public,
you do have options.
Because that wasn't running down the leg, that would be a
pool. That was a full... It almost actually pushed.
You have a lot of questions, I do.
I shit myself on a golf course once
and I made my way to the woods
and I released.
That was
the best I could do. But I was like, I'm not going to shit myself on and I released. That was the best I could do.
But I was like, I'm not going to shit myself on the tee box.
No.
I'm an animal.
I'm going to go into the woods.
You can't wipe, obviously, or did you use your boxers?
I used a scorecard.
Okay.
Then I proceeded to shit myself multiple times.
Oh, my God.
Who knew?
Oh, no.
You're shitting me.
This was Sass's case race? The Joker case race?
Oh yeah.
That's when you realized?
Oh my god, who knew?
There was a wet spot already around your butthole.
There was already one.
I think this is when you realized.
We can triangulate. That's exactly over your butthole. Go back to when he and Owen were playing. I think this is when you realize. This is when you realize.
We can triangulate.
That's exactly over your butthole.
I don't think.
Why are you pulling so hard down?
Look at your thighs.
I don't know.
You were sober during that, too.
No, I wasn't.
Oh, fuck.
You've pre-gamed every single case race.
Yeah.
Man, are we doing our next one?
100K?
Owen's birthday.
Oh, or we could do 100K.
We could do the 12-hour one.
We could do the last few hours as a case.
That would actually be a great way to send it off.
Yeah.
Yeah, but no, we can't do the case race live, though.
Right?
True.
Actually, you know what would be funny is if we did a 12-hour yak and the rule was like you had to drink two beers every hour.
Wow.
So we're never like blackout drunk, but we're always drunk.
I think we would get blackout drunk.
Although we've pre-taped the case races, so it might be a bad idea.
Yeah.
I think –
No.
No, no.
No, I'm thinking about it.
You were evil.
In the nicest way possible
You guys are all just nicer
Sober
And funnier
Yeah
Yeah it's probably for the best
Next case race will be
Owen's birthday
October
The duels
Yeah
Duelies
And then we have the three in a row
We should do full costumes
For the October one
Yeah
January I think we're gonna do a keg race
We have to do a keg race
Oh yeah
That'll be awesome.
Split it in half because it's me,
Kimmy, and Stephen's birthdays
all within like two weeks.
Can we do tuxedos for one?
Kim's hosting a soiree.
I think Roan's working with her on it.
A yak soiree. That's going to be black tie.
I love that.
I don't fit in any of my suits. I don't own a suit. I don't fit in any of my suits.
I don't own a suit.
I don't either.
We should all be able to expense a few, right?
We can rent a tuxedo.
Big Cat, when's the last time you've had to dress up?
For a wedding.
Not full suit, but just dress up.
For the Canelo fight in Vegas.
And my suit was tight.
It didn't fit well.
I got a problem,
because I don't really wear suits,
so I don't really want to buy a new one,
but I'm heavier than the one that I had when it was made.
I hate the way I look in a suit.
Suits suck, dude.
They suck.
I bet you look great in a suit.
I don't clean up nice at all.
It's the worst.
That's not true. I look bet you look great in a suit. I don't clean up nice at all. It's the worst. That's not true.
I look like a geography professor.
I'm a teacher.
I don't have the face for a suit.
All right, you got to wear a suit tomorrow.
It's my teammate and my lover.
Oh, fuck that.
What the fuck?
I didn't get any string on this.
We're broke for life.
What the fuck?
You're all sucky.
Oh, no.
Spray that thing, Saz.
Oh, my God.
Oh, there was... Spray that thing. So that's where, my God. Oh, there was...
Spray that thing.
So that's where it came from.
Is that the same fart?
Did you silly string out your ass?
Wait, Kyle, that's impressive that you're just doing that without...
Not bad.
Yeah, oh, my goodness.
So that, yeah, I can start to smell it then.
I can see your manner.
Yeah, you're in...
I don't see the wet spot, though, Kyle.
There's no wet spot. Did you do it twice? I can see your balls wet spot, though, Kyle. There's no wet spot.
Did you do it twice?
I can see your balls.
Yeah, very clearly.
So you're telling me that you sat on something wet right over your butthole between the first and second part?
Why do you go for the second pullback, man?
There's the spot.
What are you doing?
The spot's starting to appear there.
It's starting to grow.
Look at his eyes.
He's holding my cup. He knows. It's starting to grow. Look at his eyes. He's holding the icon.
He knows.
He's like, oh, God.
A little shift of white.
Yeah.
Because in my drunken stupor,
you guys are positively reinforcing my previous farce
with lots of laughter.
So I feel the need to replicate.
Where did he go after this?
Did he get up and leave?
I don't know.
Oh, he does cover up really quick.
He's done.
Like a milk dud.
Four Hershey pies.
Oh, you didn't have a bunch of Hershey pies.
Four Hershey pies.
Four Hershey pies.
Okay, what else we got?
Are you about to shit yourself again?
No.
Kyle called us an Uber from Brooklyn Saturday,
and he got in there and he was like,
do you guys want to hear my fart impression?
And then just was farting.
Your Uber rating has to be like a one.
Or that it's like a 4.5, which is pretty much a one.
That's low for an Uber rating.
Yeah. five which is pretty much a one that's that's low for an uber rating yeah i was in my friend's wedding and we all got all done up you know we're bridesmaids and we get in the limo it was august
in elkton maryland it was like such a hot humid day and the ac like wasn't fully going yet in the
back of the limo and for some reason i thought it'd be hilarious to rip a fart. So I did, and none of the girls laughed.
That's my fart.
It's like a defense mechanism.
Things are awkward.
There's a lull in conversation.
No one's being funny.
Yes, and I didn't know the girls really,
and I was like, I don't know why I thought it would be funny,
but I thought it was going to be funny,
and it wasn't funny.
Two detentions on my first week of freshman year in high school. I accidentally farted in my Spanish class, and she thought it was going to be funny and it wasn't funny. Two detentions on my first week of freshman year in high school.
I accidentally farted in my Spanish class and she thought it was on purpose.
You got detention for farting?
Yeah.
Church farts are funny too.
Church farts.
Oh, yeah.
I used to always fart in church.
Can anybody fart now?
I could.
No, I don't think so.
Foreplay had an intern.
We went out and played with them like three holes,
and I farted in Riggs' backswing because it's funny.
Yeah.
And then the intern who started working there like two weeks prior
let out the juiciest, grossest fart.
We all were like, dude, what?
And then I think he quit like a week later.
Is there a video of this?
I don't know, but it was, it was maybe,
maybe foreplay
versus pardon my take.
You might,
might be able to find it.
It was so bad.
You can't go wet.
And he was like
literally the second week.
Interns shouldn't be
allowed to fart.
As soon as you're full.
Oh.
Whoa.
That's great.
That's some good guy.
Was that you?
No.
There's an account
called Hot Guys Farting
and it's just a video
of guys farting.
What a fucking...
You don't need to
lower the camera.
Hot Guys Farting.
Wait, wasn't there
that security guard
that got fired?
Paul Flart.
Paul Flart.
Yeah, he would fart
every day at the job
and he got fired.
He got fired.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
The stranger farts don't do as much for me.
No, they're not as funny.
They're kind of gross.
That one did it for me.
That's funny.
Say what?
You fart right on me?
Yeah.
Oh, he's a prankster.
Just like that?
Yeah.
I'm really upset today. Sorry. You fart on me? Yeah. I'm really upset today.
Sorry.
You fart on me?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
That's how I deal with my anger.
Farting on people you don't know?
Mm-hmm.
Have you seen a therapist or something?
No.
Oh, that's a nice ball right there.
That's funny.
That's funny. That's funny.
Hard on people.
What did you have to just do, Brandon?
I had a call from my bank.
Too much money?
We don't know what to do with this.
Yeah, we ran out of space.
We have too much.
It's a shack in Mississippi.
Fuck.
Brandon, it's all gone.
It was a storm last night.
All your money's gone.
All of Brandon's money's just in cash.
There he is, the king of the south.
Look at him.
We have to keep doing that shit.
What?
The king of the south?
He is the king of the south.
People were really asking me about Mincy when I was in Georgia.
Everyone.
Whenever you go anywhere, it's like, where's Ben Mincy?
Roan's been getting hounded in Italy.
Yeah.
Where's Ben Mincy?
So, yeah, I thought Roan already was in Italy.
He was.
He's back.
He's back.
He went to and fro?
He's got a double Italy vacation.
When does he come back?
Next week. Wow. We're going to have to talk to him, I think. He's got to put Italy vacation. When does he come back? Next week.
Wow.
We're going to have to talk to him, I think.
He's got to put on a cast.
He better come back on Monday.
I'm going to say this right now.
Tweet this at him from the account.
Roan, when he comes back from his vacation,
he better walk in the door with a cast on.
Yeah, or if he doesn't, we actually break his arm.
Yep, that's fair.
Yeah, we'll snap it in half.
Wait, but you guys aren't here for that.
It doesn't matter to me.
Where are you boys?
Alaska?
Alaska.
Let's plan the strategy.
What will we do to break his arm?
He has to get the cast for the last week of August because we're all here.
Yeah.
So he has two weeks to get the cast.
Two weeks from today, he better walk in with the cast.
You guys excited for Alaska?
What do you think, Sass?
Geographically, yes.
Geographically, yes?
Yeah, it's something I would want to see.
How about your life?
When you want to scratch a scenery itch, that can be accomplished in 15 minutes.
And then you're content.
Then I'm in Alaska.
Right.
How long is the flight?
Eight hours?
Yeah.
How deep are you going?
I think we're sticking to the Anchorage area.
Are you going to that building?
There's a town called Whittier, which is just one apartment building, I think.
All their stores, their doctors are all in that same building.
School, everything. They want to stay there, yeah. That's wild. one apartment building i think all their stores their doctors are all in that same school everything
there yeah that's what um do you have the itinerary pretty much set already obviously before you go
for the most part yeah and it's like stoolies who reach out they're like we got a wacky thing
a lot of it's that or it's just like people like uh i think we're like we're fishing for this giant
fish i forget what it is but like that was like a friend of a friend.
Yeah.
Works on a fishing boat.
So there's a handful of stuff I want to do.
All right.
We'll see.
We're looking at like low 50s.
Low 50s and pouring down rain the whole time.
Hell yeah.
I mean, low 50s I would love.
But rain, no.
You guys think you're going to see Denali, or are you too far?
Probably not.
Probably too far.
Yeah, we're too far.
It'll be a low cloud cover.
Mike, get me a phone of this.
Can we see Aurora Borealis from there?
No.
No?
No, we have to go up to the Arctic.
So you're going to the worst part of Alaska?
Maybe the more north.
I don't know.
There's no bad part of Alaska.
The cities probably are.
I looked at the Snapchat maps just to see what people were posting there.
You do that every day in random places.
The only reason I have Snapchat.
It was wild.
It seems like it was 15 years in the past.
Right.
Looking at the Fairbanks ones.
Yeah.
Because they're so up north.
Oh.
There are like military guys.
Yeah.
They're having fun.
Are they?
A lot of bears out there.
Yeah.
Moose.
Yeah, Donnie.
I've seen some big old moose.
Chef Donnie was up in Alaska because his brother plays hockey there.
Yeah.
And he said you see moose like you'd see a fly in New York.
I would be worried about the wanton don and a bear.
I feel like he'd try to pet it.
He does like to push.
Yeah.
He pushes moose.
Great for the video.
Everything he does is content first.
He puts his body, it's not even in his top ten of concerns.
Right.
He's back in town today.
Yeah, he's back, yeah.
Yeah, back from Iraq, so yeah.
He really does push it.
I think he hopped a rope at Saddam Hussein's mansion. Yeah, back from Iraq. So, yeah, he really... He got, like, I think he, like, hopped a rope
at Saddam Hussein's mansion and, like, police...
Still so crazy he went.
Yeah, he went up onto the roof of the palace
when he was supposed to.
He's an engaged man now.
Yeah.
Yes.
I was his emergency call.
Were you really?
Yeah.
Shut up.
Once he got back, Sam Decker, who was playing in Europe,
texted me and was like,
just so you know, Donnie told me that if I didn't hear from him
in like three days that I was supposed to contact you.
Because when Donnie went to Iraq, he went there from Turkey.
He told Sam. He didn't tell anyone else.
He didn't tell you?
Right.
He didn't tell me.
Sam was playing in Turkey, so he told Sam,
if I don't contact you in like three days, you have to contact Big Cat.
That's a huge compliment. I don't know what to contact Big Cat. What would your trade package be?
I don't know what I would have said.
What would your trade package be for the wanton Don?
What would you give Iraq?
Damn, we'd have to give up a lot.
Send over Fleming?
Yeah.
Frank would fucking, it'd be just another Saddam situation.
Yeah, he'd be the, yeah.
Yeah, he would just move right into Saddam.
You have some great nicknames for Iraq, though.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
I don't have any.
He just does so well with the Mets nicknames.
I figure he'd do that with other countries.
Yeah, he would.
Yeah.
Probably should have came with more.
What's this?
Today?
People Empire.
He's so happy. He's a stoner. Yeah, People Empire. He's so happy.
He's a stoner.
Yeah, he is.
He smokes a lot of weed now.
Just laughing.
Hear his laugh.
This probably won't age well.
No, it might not.
You don't think the Mets are going to?
Edwin Diaz.
He's laughing at the Yankees.
Katie Nolan.
Did Katie Nolan take Edwin Diaz from him?
Oh, really?
I believe she did.
Really?
No way.
That was his for a long time.
I know.
He was pissed about it.
He was tweeting about it.
That's your boy's wife.
Edwin Diaz, though, the Mets fans are setting themselves up.
His walkout song is objectively awesome,
but if he loses in a big playoff game,
that will get clowned so hard.
It's ripe for mockery.
It is so, like, everyone's remaking it now.
I don't even, like, I just saw that video.
I watched it like 10 times.
Yeah, no, it's sick.
It's so sick.
I went to the next game, and I saw it, and it was awesome.
You have to, like, he has to.
They're going to win?
He has to close out every game now.
When is the World Series?
October.
Yeah.
What?
I thought it was like next week.
What?
This year is going to be next year.
Actually, it's going to be a little bit November, too.
I thought it was like next week.
Jesus, they're not even close to that.
Fall class.
No, they're not.
I thought it was like wrapping up.
I have a month and a half left. So everything could change. They're not even close to that. Fall Classic. No, they're not. I thought it was like wrapping up. Literally always.
I have a month and a half left.
Oh, damn.
So everything could change.
Yeah, everything could change.
Fall Classic, yeah.
God damn.
God damn, man.
I was literally Googling the other day.
I was like, when's the...
You thought it was going to be like Labor Day?
I thought it was in like late August.
Yeah.
Fall Classic?
I don't fucking know.
Clearly. Mr. October
Mr. Late August
You're Mr. November
When
Yeah
The first time in November
That was surreal
Are you guys fucking with me
I don't know
I know we're being dead honest
I think actually Jeff
Passed and just tweeted out the dates
So I'll give you the dates
Cause they just released it
You ready for this?
I am.
Game one of the World Series,
Friday, October 28th.
Game seven will be November 5th.
That is late.
Really? Yeah.
The hell was that? Because they had the lockout.
Yeah. Oh, I forgot about that.
Yeah.
That's a bummer.
Yeah.
I was freaking stoked for that shit.
I thought it was next week.
All right, we got anything else?
We gained a few hundred.
We're in striking distance.
Yeah.
What can we do tomorrow or Wednesday to really push?
Surprise case race.
Kill a guy.
Kill a guy. Kill a guy.
You guys want to get drunk this week?
I mean, we could do like Wednesday, like every hundred that we gain, we drink a beer.
Well, the last time when we first got whatever the milestone was, you weren't here.
I know.
We kind of just had fun.
We were just drinking until it happened.
And that just worked naturally.
That was to get 2,000.
I think if we're just within $500,
I think that would work toward the end of an episode.
Wait, the live show that we did to get to a million on the main page,
we were $2,000 away?
We were $2,000 away when we started trying for it.
And that's what we're at now.
$1,500 away, yeah.
So we could do this on Wednesday.
We should just be drunk.
If we just get to $99.
Yeah.
Wednesday, Thursday, we can do it.
Ron brought in a bottle of tequila for that stream, and then we just killed the entire
So I might have to bring a bottle of tequila on Wednesday.
I want to do it Wednesday.
I want to get Wednesday.
I want to be firmly.
I don't want any hijinks.
Let's get confetti cannons.
Okay, I'll buy some stuff.
Everyone bring one fun thing.
Yes.
Wednesday will be the official day we're hitting 100 stuff Everyone bring one fun thing Yes Wednesday
Wednesday will be the official day
We're hitting 100,000
One fun thing
Wednesday
One fun thing Wednesday
You can bring in
Like an alcoholic drink
Or a party favor
Or something
I love this
That's fun
You guys want me to bring in
You guys want me to bring in Peter
My tattoo guy
Yes
I was just gonna ask you
Would you let Brandon draw
The yak house on me and you
Yes
I would let Brandon draw
The yak house on me I've been thinking about I would let Brandon draw the yak house on me.
I've been thinking about getting tatted.
He would also let me draw it on you.
I need Nick's permission as well.
I'll text my boy right now.
Excited.
I've got to think about what I want to get tatted.
I might just do a...
We'll let him tally every subscriber
on my leg.
We'll see what we get my leg. Yeah, yes.
Okay, I like this.
Wednesday it is.
I mean, if we do it tomorrow, that would be great too, people.
I think Wednesday is perfect.
Yeah.
I think we can probably get 400 to 500 until then.
Tomorrow, yep.
And then we're pushing it again tomorrow.
Yep.
And then Wednesday, one fun thing Wednesday.
And merch is ready to drop the rest of the coins the second we get on your card.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
All right, should we call it today?
Yeah, let's call it.
Do the rundown.
Oh.
I'm on tomorrow.
John Rich is a fucking maniac.
Machine.
See the guy moving the stuff into his house Wearing flip flops Up four flights of stairs
It's pretty
Aggressive
Psycho
Okay
See everyone tomorrow It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.