The Yak - Italian Spider-Man is Here to Put an End to the Mean Girl Pod Clips | The Yak 3-20-23

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Queen Poopoo HandsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. Hello, everyone. It's the Yak. We're back. And by Roback. That didn't rhyme.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Fuck. It did. No, but it was back and back. Yeah. Back rhymes are back, though. You can do that if it's within a word. It's the yak, we're not whack, presented by Roback. Is it that easy to do?
Starting point is 00:00:52 It's so easy. And it makes the stuff that's not funny, funny. It's like, oh, that rhymed. It wasn't even funny in the first place. It rhymed something. All right, I'm wearing Roback joggers right now, performance joggers, Q-zips, polos, hoodies. Everything at Roback is super comfortable. I woreack joggers right now, performance joggers, Q-zips, polos, hoodies. Everything at Roback is super comfortable. I wore the joggers. I have like six pairs.
Starting point is 00:01:10 I'm like Inspector Gadget now. My closet is just Roback joggers. That's amazing. So I wore them all weekend in Columbus. Use code YAK on Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase. Through the end of this week, that's spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. 20% off all performance hoodies, joggers, and polos with code YAK. Get ready for spring with Roback.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Go check him out now. I got to warn people, too. They're comfortable. They're so comfortable. They're extremely comfortable. You'll never take them off. That's the problem. That is the problem.
Starting point is 00:01:41 I'm a never nude now. Not a problem. Never. A gymno-phobe. Is Sass not here? He's going to be a little bit late, he said. He's the king of the problem. I'm a never nude now. Not a problem. Never. A gymno-phobe. Is Sass not here? He's going to be a little bit late, he said. He's the king of the six. I think he's preparing something special for us.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Yeah, he's the king of the six. I think he's preparing something special. I don't know expectations, but I think you should expect something when he comes in. I watched his new show. It was hilarious. It was. Yes. Super good.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Yeah, the skit show was awesome. Yeah. I went into it wanting to nitpick sass, and I couldn't. Yeah, he kind of threw a pretty... Not a perfect game, but no criticism. No criticism. Yeah, no, I went into it being like,
Starting point is 00:02:17 all right, no matter what, I'm going to come out of this being like, Feidelberg ruled, and then trying to figure out a way to like... Needle sass. Yeah, but then I was like i can't he they crushed it and uh the biggest problem is they set the bar high they did now they all have to be this now they all have to be very good to be better yeah but i'm so fucked yeah they are but
Starting point is 00:02:36 i think they can do it though i think they got a nice little dream team going on over there they they're good they're really good they're set up did Numbies, too, on a new channel. Yeah? Yeah. Rasslin Numbies. Rasslin Numbies? Big Numbies. MJF Numbies?
Starting point is 00:02:51 Well, not quite, but damn near. It was pretty good for the first couple days. Six eggs. And then what's up? What a weekend. What a weekend. It was perfect for sports. Yeah, it really was.
Starting point is 00:03:04 So much sports. Spencer Lee, dude. So many takes from the wrestling tournament. So many. It was the most take-worthy wrestling tournament that I've ever experienced. Wrestling Twitter got a little mad at Barstool. Yeah. Which was the softest thing ever.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Wrestling Twitter is the most sensitive group of people in the world. So, you know, they're very... In his ass. Don't let him get away with that wrestling Twitter. Yeah, people were mad that we tweeted... The glasses, mom. Yeah, the Frank the Tank. The full Frank the Tank.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Yeah, they're the softest people in the world. But it was... Somebody would have tweeted that. And it's not only that. ESPN put it on TV. Yeah. And then Jerry was the one who tweeted it first. And I agreed with Jerry's take.
Starting point is 00:03:43 He was like, look at the passion of Spencer Lee's mom. I liked it. I didn't think it was a bad thing at all. She was like devastated that her son... Everyone should aspire to be a parent that's that invested in their child's sport. Disagreed.
Starting point is 00:04:00 That's a lot. Wrestling Twitter tried to get out of that with a wh someone tried like wrestling twitter tried to like get out of that with like a wholesome video of them and it was just she's like a judo
Starting point is 00:04:09 olympian oh it was just her like just taking I like her even more down and putting him in like
Starting point is 00:04:14 and is that what you call what they make to a submission I was trying to get it there too she seems like an SNL character
Starting point is 00:04:21 like an SNL's version of a mom judo christian yeah I like her I like her too look at that yeah she crushed those She seems like an SNL character, like an SNL's version of a mom. Judo Christian. Yeah. I like her. I like her too. Look at that. She crushed those glasses.
Starting point is 00:04:30 And she also, the best part is she's got that woman behind her. That's her glasses person. That's tame for a wrestling mom. You'll go to an open tournament in the offseason and see them react crazier have you seen the video of like it's like a way a lower version of wrestling but there's like a mom bleachers in the front row and she's like grabbing her husband so hard that she's like knocking him out of his uh off of his his perch on the bleachers that's just how they are spencer lee he's the top dog he was people lauded him as the best maybe ever.
Starting point is 00:05:06 And his only flaw is he doesn't know how to lose. And his family, his team, they don't know how to react. Great flaw to have. Yeah. No, it's not because he. Well, no, but it's like the classic resume when you go in and you're like, what's your weakness? I don't know how to lose. I guess.
Starting point is 00:05:24 How did your parents react when you lost? What was the car ride home like? It's like another one? Losing sucked because I took it too seriously. But for Spencer, I can't imagine. Do you have a year left or no? No, and that's the thing. All of these sixth-year guys with the COVID eligibility,
Starting point is 00:05:41 the seventh, eighth-year guys guys none of them performed well and it's like college wrestling weighing in that often every week it is just not young guns you don't you don't get better with age yeah so wait is he what what can you tell me what technically happened in the match like why did he lose he wrestled a high flyer with matt ramos he's a big move guy and he wrestled him in the regular season and got tossed almost pinned so i don't think it was that surprising that he got it wasn't as crazy as an upset as it seemed to be got it but yeah it's a it's a big move guy who caught him but he won when they faced each other earlier and he ended up pinning him he's so good on top he's so good with rides and turns. Yeah. Because I was watching it
Starting point is 00:06:25 being like, I wish KB was sitting next to me to tell me why. I didn't know there was even high flyers. Yeah, and he couldn't get, it was crazy watching because Spencer Lee couldn't get out. Like, he was stuck. Right? Oh yeah, once he was in that move, yeah. There's nothing you can do? No. No. I would shit myself there.
Starting point is 00:06:42 It's insane. It's the only time. The only time you could shit yourself and maybe have it help you. Right? Yeah. Did he quit? Like, I read the script. Yeah, he defaulted out. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Damn. And he got some scrutiny for that. Yeah. But again, no one can relate to that situation ever. And the pressure. Going for a fourth title, losing with the... Oof. It sucks because he probably put so much weight into his own legacy
Starting point is 00:07:07 and told himself what it would mean about him if he could be the four-time champion. How was his entire life? Because no one ever plans to lose, especially in his position. It's crazy. It's great. And that was the only win Purdue got all weekend. Yeah, Purdue guy. So good for Purdue. You weekend. Yeah, Purdue guy. We beat them, so good for Purdue.
Starting point is 00:07:25 You nailed your bracket, KB. Purdue went out in just horrific fashion. Wasn't an upset. It was Purdue loss. You guys explain that to me. I guess that just happens in March Madness. It happened in the regular season. It happens now.
Starting point is 00:07:42 The parody in March Madness has gotten, like it used to it was the parody in march madness has gotten uh like it used to be in the 90s it was just 16 seeds would never even have a chance it basically was you would remember what was it holy cross kansas yeah they were leading like if a 16 seed was leading at half everyone was like what a story yeah now you have 15 seeds i think we're three or four in a row tournaments at least at least, yeah. And 16 seeds actually have a chance. And Dave called it. We went and saw Fairleigh Dickinson play on Wednesday night in Dayton,
Starting point is 00:08:15 and Dave was like, I think they can beat Purdue. And he bet on them as 23-point underdogs. That's crazy. And now Purdue sucks. They've lost to a 13 seed in 2021, 15 seed last year, 16 seed this year. The fact that they have Zach Eadie, who is just like an avatar on the court, it makes it so much worse. I feel bad for them, honestly, especially because you called their shot.
Starting point is 00:08:37 I felt bad. I didn't want them to lose. It's rock bottom. Yeah, that's – It's as rock bottom as you can get. I feel like people made a lot bigger deal out of UVA losing That was the first ever Yeah
Starting point is 00:08:48 It didn't even compare this year Yeah, that was because it was the first ever They also blew him out They also blew him out But UVA won the next year So Purdue's got to do that This is a dumb question But why
Starting point is 00:09:02 Is there a reason it's happening more often now? Like are teams getting smarter? I think it's also NIL, like transfer portal stuff. Teams are a little bit better. Teams are closer together. Yeah, they're closer together. Basketball's not hard anymore. Basketball's very easy.
Starting point is 00:09:16 It was just very funny because Dave called it correctly, and it's the first time I've ever seen a basketball game where in the first five minutes he's like, FDU's too short for Purdue. And he was right. They didn't know what to do with how short. They were like little fucking cartoon characters running around Zack Eadie.
Starting point is 00:09:34 He would take a step and they would just, they'd take six choppy steps and then change directions and he couldn't change directions. It was, it was incredible. He just kept on screaming, too short. We're too short. That's fucking sick. It looked like, well, that's always the funnest gambling to me.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Everybody just sitting around with a million games on. Yeah. Just day after day after day. It was a lot. It was a lot. What did you guys eat the whole time? Shit. The worst. I know you guys eat the whole time? Shit. Just the worst.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I know you guys ate shit. Dialed to my phone. Dude, I was actually drinking milkshakes and using them as like tubs by the end of the night. Every night. Yes, that's the key. Yeah, I was like, oh my God, I have heartburn. Get me a milkshake. I did that three nights in a row.
Starting point is 00:10:21 So it wasn't good. That's sick. It was a fun time. Missed's sick. It was a fun time. Missed everyone, but it was a fun time. Looks like a blast. Brandon, did you have fun? Not as much. Your bracket got busted.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah, my bracket got busted. That's what happened. Dang. Yeah. It happens to the best of us, though. It really does. It really does. You had Mizzou on Saturday.
Starting point is 00:10:42 I had Mizzou. I had Mizzou big. I thought they were going to beat Princeton, but they didn't. Those nerds from Princeton. Yeah. Princeton, though. Princeton, yeah. Pat Glory won a title, too.
Starting point is 00:10:51 For a wrestler? For wrestling. He won Spencer Lee's weight class. He might be the pound-for-pound number one guy in the country. Pat Glory? Pat Glory. That's great. Great.
Starting point is 00:11:01 That's an American name. Was this the end of the wrestling season? Is it over? It's over. Damn. They had everything on Was this the end of the wrestling season? Is it over? It's over. Damn. They had everything on this weekend. Why'd they do that now? They should do it in November after the baseball season.
Starting point is 00:11:10 That's a hockey team. Yeah, I love the WBC. That was fun. Stephen Che has risen to speak. Did you guys see who won Barstool Bucs? We got a crew going to Ireland. Big crew. I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:11:24 All right, so tell us. So with Princeton, it's Katie Stats, Casey, and Content Kim. And with FAU. We'll put that team together. With FAU, it is Riggs, Chris Castellani, and Nadu. Someone's getting fucked. Yeah, Nadu. Yeah. Nad Someone's getting fucked. Yeah, Nadeau. Nadeau is getting fucked.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I mean, they have to have sex while they're there. Yeah, they do. I'm saying one of the six has to. Wait, all six are going? They're all going? Yeah. Together to tour the Busker's factory.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I was trying to get Big Ev to have Frank be his plus one if he got there You all get plus ones? Yeah It should all have to be content people too Yeah To make it way sweeter Yeah
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah, they have to invite other barstool people Yeah, what a trip Trip of a lifetime That's a perfect I mean, I'm pretty sure I've talked to Casey And she said the first time I go to Ireland I hope Nadu and Chris Castellini are with me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Like, maybe someday. You thought it was going to happen. Deep down, you thought it wasn't going to happen. No, dude, that was 16 over 1. Well, sure enough. That's awesome. Who picked Princeton? The women.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Those women. I think KB Stats. Yeah. I have content Kim's Twitter account. I think KD stats. Yeah. I have content Kim's Twitter account. Maybe I should invite Frank. Yeah, formally. Maybe you should. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Maybe I will. And flights overseas are guaranteed first class, right? Yeah, flight over eight hours. I think it's also if you cross an ocean. Okay. I checked the handbook recently. Steve is vigorously shaking his head. I've been paging through the handbook. Oh, you cross an ocean. Okay. I checked the handbook recently. Steve is vigorously shaking his hand. I've been paging through the handbook.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Oh, for Barstool. Yeah. Oh, maybe. But is Barstool paying for it or is it the sponsor? Think Buskers is. I would start making demands if I was them. That's awesome. Ireland is dope.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Jump seats with the flight attendants. Probably weren't expecting Six people to be going Try to tank flying the plane Yeah Damn That's a dream team Dang
Starting point is 00:13:32 What a crew In the background Looks like you and Micko Must be a busker Is that Rain That's the busker maybe Must be Is that what Riggs looks like
Starting point is 00:13:42 Oh Thanks Alright I just tweeted it Is that what Riggs looks like? I just tweeted it. I was up all night last night. What the fuck? I was trying to crack a mystery. On Mincy's Instagram. What was in his pocket?
Starting point is 00:14:01 What the fuck was in his pocket? What do you mean? I didn't see it. Which one was it? I was just staring at his pocket all night. I couldn't figure out what's in his pocket? What do you mean? I didn't see it. Which one was it? I was just staring at his pocket all night. I couldn't figure out what's in his pocket. What pocket? Was it his chest pocket? No, front pocket.
Starting point is 00:14:11 It's a shocking photo. Really? Yeah. Did you have any leads? I had one lead. You had a hypothesis? I said it was an Oscar Mayer baloney pack. I think he walked out of the house.
Starting point is 00:14:26 He was like, okay, keys, wallet. Where's my Frisbee? And ran back inside. Is it a circle? I think it's a Beyblade arena. My first guess was a cereal bowl. I thought he just had a full cereal bowl. Owen thinks he has his Bose over ear headphones in his pocket.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Wow, he posts. Keep going. It's the width of like a twisted dot. There, that. Yeah. That one right there? Yeah. Can we zoom in on his front pocket?
Starting point is 00:14:55 I've been trying to crack the code. What's in there? Oh, my God. What is that? I think it's like his mom gave him a Tupperware bowl. It's a bowl. It's a bowl of spaghetti. I think it's like a tin cap from World War I. What is that? I think it's like his mom gave him a Tupperware. It's a bowl. It's a bowl of spaghetti. I think it's like a tin cap from World War I.
Starting point is 00:15:08 What is that? That you can make soup in and also- Tamarine. Yeah. I don't know what it is. What is that? It looks like- Is there a handle on the top?
Starting point is 00:15:17 How did it fit into those pockets? You're right. There's a handle. Those pockets are small. I think it's a pot. A string? I think it's a pot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Like a crock of butter? It's like a French onion soup bowl. Yeah, if he pulls that out, there's just spaghetti in there. Why? Is there a handle on the bottom, too? Is it a colander, or is it just a handle on the top, like a brim? His left pocket is jam-packed, too. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:15:42 It is. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? That's not his phone, because that's what they use to take the photo. That's see. It is. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? That's not his phone because that's what they used to take the photo. That's a tablecloth in his other pocket. I think he just has
Starting point is 00:15:49 a bowl and a table. Yeah. He just has the whole setup for a picture. Wait, that left, I didn't even notice the left one. That's wild too.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Yeah. What? It almost looks square. It's a circle, but do you see? The square on top. It almost looks square behind it.
Starting point is 00:16:06 It looks like some 90s leg pads from an NFL player. I took it into Photoshop and tried to adjust the levels to see if I could get more detail. Nothing. Really? Yeah, I can't get anything. Can we ask him? I don't think he'll remember. It could be something. Yeah, he might not remember. He must have put it in a long time ago
Starting point is 00:16:22 and it got stuck in there. He doesn't remember what it is. Like when you have a dip in your back pocket and your jeans just form that way. No, I think it's still in there. It just stuck. It was like 10 years ago. It's part of the pants. You probably can't get it out. It's probably stuck in there.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Dang. What could that possibly be? Mincy. Who brought that to your guys' group chat? Me. Just like, check out Mincy. Todd Graves, the Raising Cane's guy. Mincy still thinks he's going to run this thing in under 60 minutes.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Because he was like, Todd Graves just pledged to match your $10,000. Like, Mincy, my $10,000 are not being donated. It's contingent, yes. Yeah, right. There's a huge contingency. Yeah, he said, like, oh, we're already at, like, $20,000 are not being donated. It's contingent. Yeah, right. There's a huge contingency. Yeah, he said, oh, we're already at $20,000. Yeah, he's a zero right now. Has he been training since we last spoke?
Starting point is 00:17:13 I would hope so. In between crawdad reviews. Someone said he ran a 5K in 29.55. So that's not the pace. No. No, it is. What's he going for? No, it's not. He's doing. No, it is. What's he going for? No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:17:26 He's doing a 10K. Yeah. He said he wouldn't understand. He would need to do it like 29. He gets faster? 29.55. Yeah. No, I mean, it's just a direct double of that, right?
Starting point is 00:17:35 Yeah, he's just got to get faster. Like by like 30 seconds. I think he could do it. I think so, too. We'll find out. Sass, how was Toronto? You're the king of the six dude toronto was uh i mean it's just new york it's the exact same thing you get there expecting
Starting point is 00:17:51 it to be like a foreign country it's not at all and then it was fine it was like the shows were all really fun but the customs and everything is is way too much of a pain in the ass for how short of a flight that is it's very short flight short flight. It's like a 30-minute flight, and you're going through customs for like an hour. Yeah. Though getting into Canada was significantly easier than leaving Canada. Huh. Yeah. So the U.S. doesn't want people in.
Starting point is 00:18:17 That was crazy. Toronto's a very cool city. There was a little bit of a, there was some chaos on the flight home. Me and some of the fellas got a little riled up because there was people putting their backpacks, suitcases, and jackets in the overhead bin. What? So I had to check my bag. I started calling some people out.
Starting point is 00:18:40 People are putting like full shopping bags in the overhead bin. You should put one thing in the overhead bin. One thing. Right. I flew yesterday. Yeah yeah i was seat 5a comfort plus and i had to put my my carry on in seat 20 yeah that's the biggest pain because then when everyone gets up everyone to get off yeah it turns you into a bad person too because you try and avoid that by being the first person to get on the plane Nobody likes that person Bustling to the front of the line
Starting point is 00:19:09 That shit sucks I always go in like toward the end And they end up checking it for me Yeah that's what I had to do So did you get an altercation? I was kind of just like Just made some passive aggressive Made some passive aggressive comments
Starting point is 00:19:24 Like what? The flight attendant, I was like, well, why are people putting their entire fucking wardrobe in the overhead bins? I think that's just aggressive. Yeah, that was aggressive. I didn't say that like that. Passive-aggressive and like,
Starting point is 00:19:35 oh, guessing is not a room. Then she's throwing attitude at me because like we're... She's throwing attitude at you? She was. You said, why the fuck are you not doing your job, bitch? She threw attitude first. Oh. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to check my bag clearly because there's nowhere to put my bag attitude he was said why the fuck are you not doing your job she threw attitude first oh yeah so so i'm like okay i'm gonna have to check my bag clearly because there's nowhere to put my bag
Starting point is 00:19:49 because everyone has every single thing that they own in the overhead bin right so i go out and they're like just wait here and then she comes down from all the way like at the front of the gate and she's like you guys should have come up to me because now i'm gonna have to go all the way back up and i'm like well they just told me to stay here like how am I supposed to know that I'm supposed to go up there you should have just started taking people's shit out of the top one dude did that that's awesome yeah but they hated him they were they were talking a lot don't follow the rules next time yeah that's just big ass jackets too Canada goose jacket so frustrating back a little backpacks like supreme shopping bags like dude it's like the overhead bin is not like a comfort.
Starting point is 00:20:27 It's not like so you can have as much space as you want for one bag. I was so mad about that. You should ask to put his backpack under my seat in front of me. What? And you said yes. Oh, yeah. I would have, too. I would have, too.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Of course you did. Dude, yes. Don't even ask him. I course you'd finish the sentence. Dude, yes. Don't even ask him. I sat like this on the plane. Well, the most annoying thing is that they don't believe you that it doesn't fit. So then I'm like, yeah, there's nowhere to put my bag. And then they're like, okay, we're going to see about that. And then they're like, yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:20:57 There's nowhere to put the bag. And it's like, what do you think? I was like, I want to check my bag. Obviously, I want my bag to go in the overhead bin. I don't want to have to wait at the baggage claim. They just don't believe me. A lot of hassle for a fucking 20 minute
Starting point is 00:21:11 flight. Airport flights are fun. It's like you can't because it's never going to really escalate. No one's got a weapon. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? It's the safest place to fight. It's true. And some like Mark Wahlberg type will probably jump in. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:28 So they are the safest places to get an altercation. Yeah. People really have nothing to lose. Right? Yeah, well, people get upset very easily. Yeah. People are at their peak frustration. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Getting knocked out during takeoff would suck. That would suck. But then they would probably have to land the plane, and that guy would become the biggest dick. Like B.A. Baracus. Yeah, we had a lot of turbulence, and the guy next to me, I looked at him, and he grabbed one of the fucking bags,
Starting point is 00:21:57 and I was like, you ought to be kidding me. He didn't throw up, but I was like, if you throw up, dude, we're going to have a whole other issue. I threw up on the plane coming home from a wedding once, and I felt so bad for the people next to me. So I tried to be as quiet as I could. It's honestly, it's a scumbag move.
Starting point is 00:22:13 It's huge. Total scumbag. Asshole move. Absolutely. Pull it together. Because you were hungover. I was hungover. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:22:19 It's not like you were just, I had a tummy. I wasn't sick. I wasn't sick. No, you're right. There's no, that's bad. I should have been sick. At, you're right. There's no. That's bad. I should have been sick. At least you were washing your hands. I know. It was probably hard for you to get sick.
Starting point is 00:22:33 We're not washing. What about washing your hands? Kate posted that tweet about Alex and Jordan don't wash their hands. You've seen the latest, right? The latest Mean Girls drop. You haven't seen it? We're falling for this? We're all going to fall for this. don't wash their hands. You've seen the latest, right? The latest Mean Girls drop. You haven't seen it? No.
Starting point is 00:22:46 We're falling for this? Yeah. We're all going to fall for this. No, I'm very much over it. I think I threw them a mute today. I like that they included the Buffalo's penis on your sweatshirt. Yeah, they did. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:22:59 Look at that little thing. Wow. That's crazy. Four legs and a dick. That was thing. Wow. That's crazy. That is. Four legs and a dick. That was necessary. Hey, bro. Wait, this can't go out.
Starting point is 00:23:12 This can't go out yet. Where's the cock? Because they wanted horns on it, and it's like, if it's got horns, it's got to be. Wait, I think they used the thread from the horn in the negative space. They were like, we've got to put this somewhere. Rolls over like a mad magazine. What the hell? Is this your first time wearing that?
Starting point is 00:23:34 I wore it this weekend, but the second time. Fuck. Am I gay? Yeah. You have a cock on your... What the fuck? Far heart, bull dick, CBD taking a... No.
Starting point is 00:23:50 This is a terrible way to find out that I'm gay. I guess I'm gay now. Start sucking. Start sucking, my dear. Sinatra. That's good. It is Sinatra. That's classic Sinatra That's good It is Sinatra That's classic A little bit of Sinatra
Starting point is 00:24:08 Vintage Sinatra Gotta love Sinatra Roan you wanna do the High Noon ad? Of course The best High Noon is a hard seltzer Made with real vodka Real juice
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Starting point is 00:24:40 And, you know, it's getting hotter. It's getting to be prime high noon season, which I classify as 12 months of the year around. And now they have the big cans, 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple available. My favorite flavor, of course, is the grapefruit. But I'm not discriminatory against their other just bevy of delicious beverages. Pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, lemon. Peach.
Starting point is 00:25:06 That's you? You're a peach guy? Peach on ice. Okay. Peach. Very nice. Yeah, you've got to put it on ice sometimes just because you don't necessarily know what you're missing until you've iced down a delicious high noon.
Starting point is 00:25:20 There's also limited edition flavors, pear and cranberry in the tailgate pack. Time to tailgate for some baseball. And kiwi and guava in the pool pack. Should we get Frank in here? Yeah, get Frank. I don't want him to actually think content Kim invited him. I don't think he does. Look for them on Drizzly Slash at your local convenience store or liquor store
Starting point is 00:25:39 or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Get a high noon. Make your life a little bit better. Yeah. Thatits.com to find it near you. Get a high noon. Make your life a little bit better. Yeah. That's the way to do it. We got to get Frank in here. You guys see Mincy's Frank video? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Mm-mm. Yeah, that was something. Something. What was it? I don't even know if we should watch it. Was it Mincy pretending to be Frank? It was an impersonation. I think it's fair.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I think that Frank does impersonations of Mincy all the time. That is true. He does. We're good. He did? We got a chuckle. Hey, that was me. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Did he break his stride? Yeah, he broke his stride for me. That's actually really nice. Yeah, no. But it's a joke on Kim, not Frank. Yes, of course. I mean... I want Frank now to go up to Kim and be like, so?
Starting point is 00:26:30 Yeah. Plus one. There's some good fish and chips in Galway. Seamus Fleming. I wonder what he would eat in Ireland. We do have to make that book. I was talking about it on the stream last night. We have to make Around the World and 50 Flemings.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Remember Hideki Fleming? All the calamitous. Hideki Fleming bought an apartment building right before Hiroshima. Mohammed Fleming before Iraq was invaded. I'm now a Saddam guy. I like Saddam. Muhammad Fleming is doing it like a high school recruitment thing. He's got all the hats in front of him.
Starting point is 00:27:17 He's like, I've decided I'm going to be a Saddam guy. I like Saddam now. And George Bush. I don't think they'd be hats. Yeah, that's true. Reps. We should have Triggs make that book. That's true. Reps. We should have Triggs make that book. That'd be a great book.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Yeah, I think we could just- Curse of all the Flemings throughout history. Yeah. Yeah. We tell the history of the world through Flemings. Yeah. A little short Napoleon Fleming. I honestly think that would be a great idea.
Starting point is 00:27:42 They all just look like Frank, but just a little bit different. It's unironically an amazing idea. Just like a really, really short Frank with a French flag draped around him. Napoleon Fleming. Adolph Fleming will be a tough chapter. Maybe we'll just... But you need it. Yeah, you need it.
Starting point is 00:28:01 You need to tell history. Yeah, you can't ignore big parts of history. We're not on the side of Adolph Fleming. No, no, no. Adolph Fleming did some bad things. I don't think it would be Adolph Fleming. I think he'd be on the other side. I think Anne Frank Fleming would be him.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah, that's true. Anne Frank Fleming. She'd be in tough shit. The Nazis found her when a Mets player got injured. Yeah, just screaming. What the fuck? Did I just screaming. What is that? What the fuck? Did I just hear something get chewed?
Starting point is 00:28:30 Oh, my God. Yeah. Did you guys hear that there's solar systems in outer space that's not supposed to be there? What? I don't know what that means. How do we know what's supposed to be there? The James Webb Space Telescope saw multiple solar systems that aren't supposed to exist that are currently disproving or calling into question the Big Bang Theory, whether the Big Bang Theory actually was the start of our universe.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Oh. It just feels like that should be a headline yeah top headline why are we the only ones talking about this you think big bang was always just a cop-out way to think the universe started just one time something just went boom and it was all here yeah that is i mean it is you're right you yeah the man in a robe no i'm not saying that i'm not saying that i'm just saying even if you go with the big ass yeah it was that white guy i'm not i'm not just saying that. I'm just saying, even if you go... White guy with the big ass beard. It was that white guy. I'm not just saying that, but the Big Bang just seemed way too easy.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Too simple. Yeah, you're right. Well, I mean, they're calling it into question. I don't know if there's any more. I probably did a pretty piss poor job of explaining it. Oh, you did. You nailed it. Triggs or Quiggs, rather, or fucking Trey or fucking Derek Schumann or some one of our smart guys could maybe come in
Starting point is 00:29:46 and fuck him. Is Derek Schumann one of our smart guys? Derek Schumann was an engineering major. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, I love Derek. I didn't know he was
Starting point is 00:29:52 one of our smart guys. Also, I don't know what an engineering major even really is. I don't know. What is engineering? I don't know. What is civil engineers doing?
Starting point is 00:30:00 What do they do at work? Do they go to an office, a lab? What do they do? Are they just social workers? I think they just, I just know engineers had a an office, a lab? What do they do? Are they just social workers? I think they just... I just know engineers had a lot of schoolwork in college, and then they always got the best job out of college.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Yeah, high-paying jobs. But are they building buildings, or are they, like, deciding when... I don't know what they're doing. ...lights are yellow and when lights are red, and, like, how long that takes. There's a lot of engineers, too. Like, every...
Starting point is 00:30:21 Like, there's a lot of engineers. I got a friend who's an engineer, and his job is literally just to tell them where to put the toilets huh really yeah it's probably hard that probably no it is but it's like one of those things you don't think about but it actually is important you got software engineers here right yeah true my dad is a an engineer and until early middle school i just thought he drove trains yeah he's a chemical engineer so he figures out what to do with just blows up trains in ohio he figures out what to do with uh recycled materials and how to turn that into energy i don't know and this is your
Starting point is 00:30:55 your dad you said yes and what does he go to an office so what type of building uh like a like a desk yeah he's on a computer trying to figure out the algorithms? Yeah, but then he has like a lab coat, as do most people in his department. That's cool. Yeah. Interesting. I'd like to follow your dad at work one day. He's retired.
Starting point is 00:31:17 I mean, he used to do it. Yeah. I interned there one summer, and they didn't give me a computer. It was very difficult. They didn't trust you? no I fell asleep a couple times at my desk
Starting point is 00:31:27 it was not the best oh no how old were you? 20 damn you're like this guy why is this guy here? he's in the NFL
Starting point is 00:31:37 what the fuck is he doing it was goodwill hunting you're wasting all your speed this stupid desk job. One day I'm going to wake up and you're just going to be a wide receiver for the Colts. A smile. What could have been? Well, no, not what could have been.
Starting point is 00:31:57 It sounds like you never had a chance to be an engineer. Yeah, probably. What could have been? I couldn't say what could have been like i was thinking about becoming a doctor like i'm not smart enough there's no what could have been doctor would have never happened yeah could have been engineering the greatest that never was it would have been a terrible engineer. Probably, yeah. It depends on what kind. I could see him driving the hell out of a train.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Yeah, that's true. Is there a difference between an engineer and a conductor? Yeah, the engineer drives it. The conductor is the guy doing the tickets and all that. The conductor doesn't drive the train? No. The fuck? He ducks the people getting onto the train. So wait, so who's the one in the striped overalls?
Starting point is 00:32:50 Who's got the whistle? Are cabees still significant? Bees are still around. There always has to be a cabees. There always has to be. The biggest tenant growing up of a train, the caboose. Everybody always wanted to be the caboose. Wait, who's the guy with the whistle? The conductor. The conductor, the one that goes and picks up the little boys on Christmas Eve. Oh, see caboose. Everybody always wanted to be the caboose. Huh. Wait, what who's the guy with the whistle?
Starting point is 00:33:05 The conductor. The one that goes and picks up the little boys on Christmas Eve. You don't see the engineer. You don't see the engineer if you're on a train. Engineers like Oz? Kinda. Who's shoveling coal? The engineer. Back in the day. But then the conductor is Actually, no. It was the conductor.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Who's pumping the thing? The conductor's saying all aboard. Oh, that's a good idea. The conductor says all aboard? That's the job. Okay, that's It was the conductor. Who's pumping the thing? The conductor's saying all aboard. Yeah. Conductor says all aboard? That's the job. Okay. That's the one you want, yeah. But if shit goes wrong, the conductor wasn't the one that we blame? No.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Who gets paid more? The engineer. The conductor gets all the glory. Yeah, you're right. At the end of the day, the engineer's in charge. True. But we don't see him. True.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Well, the conductor can act like he's in charge. And I bet you can do a good all aboard. Nah. How many conductors are on a train? Depends. There's a lot. Who tells Steven Seagal there's a hostage situation? Conductor.
Starting point is 00:33:53 That's the conductor? Yeah. Okay, I want to be a conductor. And they would have attacked the engineer. Right. Right. Conductor, like, takes tickets from people. That's a very...
Starting point is 00:34:02 That's the ticket taker. I also thought that was the guy driving the train. Yeah, me too. You could be a movie theater I feel like he'd... Yeah. What? What?
Starting point is 00:34:11 Ticket taker. How much does a train driver make? I feel like a lot probably. I don't think they call them train drivers. They're millionaires. 100,000 a year you think? He just stays on the tracks.
Starting point is 00:34:19 He's not even doing that hard of a job. They have the highest suicide rate. I definitely think they're millionaires just because the train's worth more than a million dollars. I was running over the bullet. I think every conductor personally owns the highest suicide rate. I would definitely think they're millionaires just because the train's worth more than a million dollars.
Starting point is 00:34:26 I was running over the bullet. I think every conductor personally owns the train. Engineers. I don't acknowledge engineers. I bet they make a lot of money. I was the usher for this wedding this weekend. I put up Tony Snell's stat line. Didn't help anybody down the aisle. Didn't help a single person. This is stupid.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Best job to have, though, because you don't have to wear the tux. Did you have to wear the tux? I had to wear the tux Oh never mind It's stupid as fuck though You don't need like You're just gonna take a girl from her date And just like hold her arm Have her hold your arm
Starting point is 00:34:54 Usher is the conductor of the wedding Like she's lame Usher also is a total The priest is the engineer Usher is a total insult Like Spot Pity job
Starting point is 00:35:03 Yeah they're like You're not good enough to be in the wedding. I was in the wedding. But not really. Yeah, I was up on stage. You stood up there? Yeah. Oh, they made you do double duty.
Starting point is 00:35:12 That's not right. How far back were you from the groom? Usually the usher's not in the wedding. I was four deep. Okay. Okay. A seven. That's not bad.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Did you remember to bend your knees? Oh, yeah, I got woozy. You don't want to be the one right behind the groom. That's the best man. Yeah, but everybody's looking at that guy. I think everybody's looking at the bride and groom. Wow. No. Oh, not the ladies in there.
Starting point is 00:35:32 They were eyeing you down. I tried to make it work. Did you wear a hat? Yeah. How's your print looking? Like Mincy? Do you have a big cereal bowl in there? Yeah, the entire thing. What if that's Mincy? Did you have a big cereal bowl in there? Yeah, the entire thing. No, I...
Starting point is 00:35:45 What if that's Mincy's dickhead? Yeah, I guess I didn't think about that. He has one of those piercings that's like the lip. Oh, no. Oh, no. Holy fuck. Did you crush it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:04 You didn't help anyone I didn't help a soul but everybody else all the other ushers did at least one person down the aisle I didn't I just didn't
Starting point is 00:36:11 how many ushers I didn't offer there were four ushers and all of them were in the wedding party there were seven in the wedding seven boys that's too many
Starting point is 00:36:18 people just don't need help getting down an aisle no well usually like one old grandparent okay that's fair right but maybe you get a strapping lad or an uncle to do that shit down an aisle. No. Well, usually like one old grandparent. Okay. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Right? But maybe you get a strapping lad or an uncle to do that shit. You don't need a gang of dudes. You're basically handing out programs.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Yeah. That shit sucks. Yeah, there's always one old grandparent that everyone's like, oh, I'm so happy this is happening before they die.
Starting point is 00:36:40 No, totally. Yeah, they rush to the wedding. Yeah, right. You're probably gonna die. Probably your last time out. She always gets a shout out in the speeches. Yeah, they rushed the wedding. Yeah, right. You're probably going to die. Probably your last time out. She always gets a shout out in the speeches. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Someone tears up. Nana's here. She's about to die. Shout out. Put it on her. It's never great. It's Meemaw or Nana. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:57 She's always like 101. Yeah. She's having fun. She can barely lift her head. Goes home at like 8 o'clock Right after dinner Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:06 Doesn't even make the cake Shout out to Anna Do you guys ever have Like a name For your grandparents Mine's always just been Grandma and Grandpa Well the ones you
Starting point is 00:37:17 You talk to Yeah you have grandma and grandpa Then who Redacted Yeah Who Yeah Your who bear
Starting point is 00:37:25 dude the more we talk about this the more people reach out to me and be like yeah that's not that crazy what yeah like they're estranged from their grandparents too
Starting point is 00:37:34 for privileged white men of our like status yes yeah I don't know but still walking down the street and seeing them and not saying anything
Starting point is 00:37:44 I think that's the weird part no seeing your, walking down the street and seeing them and not saying anything. I think that's the weird part. No. Seeing your grandparent on the street and being like, yep, all right. I guess I just can't grasp a broken family. Yeah. I've never been able to really understand something like that. Money gets in the way, though, when you're so goddamn rich.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Yeah, I bet your grandma's money coming out of the woodwork when she sees your flyers up in Toronto. Yeah. Joe Rogan's father. Yeah. Those videos were crazy. Zash doesn't tell you the real story. Yeah. They were just so funny because they were like,
Starting point is 00:38:19 Joe Rogan says we're crazy, and the whole video was just them being crazy. I'm here. I'll show you crazy. Yeah. I'm going to sock them. Yeah. I'm not crazy. And the whole video was just them being crazy. I'm here. I'll show you crazy. I'm going to sock them. I'm not crazy. I think you could take your old man.
Starting point is 00:38:32 This is everything that Joe Rogan said was completely confirmed in a 90 second video. Way to put your best foot forward there, buddy. This isn't about money, but if you don't give us money, we're going to expose some really nasty secrets about you. You don't want to go there.
Starting point is 00:38:46 So hang up. Just openly extorting him. Confirming everything. Those videos were insane. Some people who act that Italian are not Italian, too. No, I mean, Jerry knows them. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Jerry knows them? Yeah. He's family with them. He said he was like, oh, yeah, that's my aunt. I was like, you're related to Joe Rogan? He's like, no, like Italian-wise. I was like, okay, so you're not related to Joe Rogan. He's like, no, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:39:16 He knows them peripherally. But Rogan, is that an Italian name? I don't know. It doesn't sound like Rogan. No way. Did he build a new comedy club in Austin? Yeah. That's sick.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Mothership. So he built that himself? Yeah. Yeah, he's been talking about doing that for a couple years. That's awesome. So many people are like, so you're telling me that he restricts who can film in there, like takes a picture of your face? Like Joe Rogan just signed up for his own safe space.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Like people are trying to own him as if every comedy club in America doesn't take your phones. If I ever get to Joe Rogan's level, I would build a sportsbook where all my bets have to win. I would build my own safe space. Why has nobody thought of that?
Starting point is 00:40:00 That's the best thing you can do when you're really, really rich is to build a safe space for yourself. Also, it's like everyone was... Everyone should do that. People's like the best thing you can do when you're really, really rich is to build a safe space for yourself. Yeah. Also, it's like everyone should do that. People were saying that
Starting point is 00:40:09 it was like they were doing that so that they can be racist on stage. It's like, no, it's because they don't want people to film their entire set and post it online.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Right. So many clubs do that. Every every club where a big comic is. Yeah. People are going to steal your shit and ruin your material
Starting point is 00:40:26 it's also just nice to have an engaged audience that doesn't have their phones out right you can't have it both ways of being like the good old days when no one was on their phones yeah you're taking my phone getting to be racist on stage is probably a bonus for them the people who complain about this definitely are people who just wouldn't go see comedy
Starting point is 00:40:43 anyway exactly people who've never been to a comedy anyway. Exactly. Yeah. People who've never been to a comedy show and never will. They're just mad about something they'll never- So he's going to take my phone? Yeah. They'll never partake in. I'd like to see him try. Also, I'm pretty sure the tickets for those shows are selling out in like four seconds, so-
Starting point is 00:40:58 Ever will. Even if they wanted to go, they couldn't go. Yeah. Pores. Pores. Sass, I heard you're opening up a club. Yeah. Right around the corner. Really? heard you're opening up a club. Yeah. Right around the corner.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Really? You know, there is like a club like on our block. What, Gotham? No, like even tinier. It's like the tiniest like comedy club. Or I don't know. I only see it as a doorway. You know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:41:18 What? Right down here to the right. There's like the skinniest fucking little tiny comedy club. I wonder what it is. I want to peek my head in there. Huh. Sass, you should put in an offer, bro. There's so many clubs. Those Canadian dollars. Like they don't use.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah. Exactly. Own a place to put on shows. The Pitloft. Oh, the Loft. Is that what it is? Those are two opposite things. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a theater. I took classes there once. I didn't realize it was around the corner.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Wait, you went to the pit loft? A long, like- Whoa, whoa, whoa, go up. Who's that guy? I like him. I want him on the team. Yeah, Sash should do this for the next case race. See, that's fun.
Starting point is 00:41:59 That's good shit. That's me, actually. That's me. That's how Sash feels after the case race. Why not do it during? I was in a sketch group, and we did a show there. It's very, yeah, it looks like sketch improv type. But is there a stand-up there?
Starting point is 00:42:14 Should we do a show there? I would do a show there. How many people? Yeah. How many people can sit in there, Kate? A good amount. Only sits like 40 people. I would like to see.
Starting point is 00:42:22 It's not huge. No, it's small. We should do a live show where we're more than. Outnumber them? Yeah. We did that at a skee-ball. Yeah, right. Just keep doing shows where it's like, all right, there's 10 of us.
Starting point is 00:42:32 The capacity is eight more. The live show, I think it was three more, if even. And one of them was MB and one was Nick's dad. Yep. I remember walking in so nervous because that was our first live show, wasn't it? There are more bystanders here. That was awesome.
Starting point is 00:42:54 We got to do a yak shirt with a silhouette of an animal with a monster cock. Yeah. You can't stop looking. A yak with a monster cock. A big old angler. Can we look up yak penises? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:06 What do they look like? I think so. Is that cool to see on the show? Maybe they're like burgundy. Probably. Slimy and delicious. Chartreuse. If we could eat them on Vibs' show, we can't just ogle one?
Starting point is 00:43:21 We can't just look down the barrel? Is there a difference when it's attached versus not? Oh! I figured. Yeah, I didn't think they were small. I wouldn't have guessed that. I wouldn't have guessed that length. It looks delicious, dude.
Starting point is 00:43:32 It does. It doesn't look good tasting. It's like a summer sausage. Yeah, it looks like a high-end Slim Jim. Huh. It's a delicacy. It looks amazing. Oh, we should eat some yak penis.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Afghani delicacy? Never. I never had. Hmm. Thei delicacy? I never had. The hell? Is that the kid collecting the balls? No, that's just a cool ass photo that they put in. Is he getting
Starting point is 00:43:55 chased by a bunch of ducks? What is that? That's Abdul Hakim running for his life from rabid cross-eyed pygmy chickens. Oh yeah, there we go. Abdul Hakim. Oh man. Shout's how it is. That's the second photo for six. Oh man. Shout out Akeem.
Starting point is 00:44:14 What a photo. We're going to have to pay for that, dude. That's definitely Getty. That is a lot in one sentence. Yeah, what? That's a perfect sentence. Running for his life from cross-eyed pygmy. I'm going to do the... Fuck. I believe it. That's what it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Can Chilling with Chells recreate that number? He's paid that. He's going to do the yak cock, and then we're just going to throw Abdul in there just for the fuck of it. Have him rot. Just for the laughs. We get cease and desisted by Abdul.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Yeah. They've been waiting for someone to pull that picture up. Some of their best work. Shout out, Abdul. Shout out, Abdul. How old do you think Abdul is now? With the pixelation of that picture? 20.
Starting point is 00:44:58 I bet older. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's gotten his revenge. He's killed all those pygmy chickens. Cross-eyed pyg's 38. He's killed all those pygmy chickens. Cross-eyed pygmy chickens. Rabbit cross-eyed pygmy chickens. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Where is he? Is he in a coliseum? Yeah, it looks like it. What the? Oh, man, he looks in trouble. In a Minecraft world. He's definitely in trouble. It looks like video game grass. He's definitely in trouble. It looks like video game graphics.
Starting point is 00:45:25 He's trapped in a watercolor painting. Chilling with Chels has to make it a watercolor. Also, does he have, like, a mullet? Is this Shadow Match? Look at his shadow. He has a mullet. Oh, shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Where's his left arm? Oh, it's awesome. Shadow is wrong. This is horrifying. Looks like the Insane Clown Posse logo. We is horrifying. Looks like the insane clown posse logo. Let me make this the header of the Yak Twitter account. Shadow looks like one of the aliens that Zah saw. Yes, I did see a Zah.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Long hair, short. I have a splinter in my foot. I don't know. I don't know how to get it out. How'd you do that? You didn't finish your dad? Foot surgery? Walk a plank somewhere?
Starting point is 00:46:04 No, I just, I'm dealing with it. I'm getting through it. Let's take it out. I'll take it out. How'd you do that? You didn't finish your foot surgery? Walk a plank somewhere? No, I just I'm dealing with it. I'm getting through it. Let's take it out. I'll take it out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's take it out. Oh, it's perfect for a header. Yeah, there you go. Let's take it out, Brandon. Let's see it. Yeah, it's fucking perfect.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Wait a minute. No, let's make the header the chickens and our profile picture him. Do you want us to take it out for you? I don't know. Let's do it. Let's see it. Can we see it? Yeah, take it off. She was dealing with it.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Let's look at it. What if it was just fucking huge? Yeah. Take it out and there's just a whole... I think you can see it. What a stigmata. There is it. It's in there somewhere.
Starting point is 00:46:42 It's right in the crease right there. Stick it out. I don't think so. Yeah, I can feel it. What is that? I wonder if it's glass. It's tail crown. We had the Rage Room in Columbus, and I finished. I did the last one, and I was pulling glass out of my clothes.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Yeah. Hey, yeah. No way. Yeah. Dude, glass in your foot is the clothes. Yeah. Oh. Hey, yeah. No way. Yeah. Dude, glass in your foot is the worst. Yeah. I just had a little,
Starting point is 00:47:09 it's like the tiniest little piece and it takes so long to get it out. You gotta soak that in hot water. Does this happen often to you?
Starting point is 00:47:14 Yeah. Damn, what? Does this happen often to you? No, it happened once when I was in high school and I remember I sat in my bed like
Starting point is 00:47:20 this with like my phone flashlight on with tweezers for like, it had to have been three hours trying to get it out. You drop and break glass. You're supposed to clean it up with a piece of bread. Really?
Starting point is 00:47:30 Yeah. I always use a wet towel. I stepped on a nail once. That sucked. Stepped on a nail? When you were breaking into a kid's house in Illinois. I stepped on a nail. It sucked.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Yeah. I was going upstairs. It was slippery as shit. An iron hit my face. I stepped on a nail. It sucked. Yeah. I was going upstairs. It was slippery as shit. An iron hit my face. You're bandit, buddy. It was me and Jerry. I could see Jerry running door to door back in the day.
Starting point is 00:48:02 You could do that. Scoping out a place. I could see Jerry being like the old school robber with like the striped black and white shirt like towing with a bag over his head. Like a hamburger. He's wearing like the mask. I'm about to go rob this house.
Starting point is 00:48:18 I better go dress exactly like a robber. Yeah. Ring-ding-ding-ding. Like Shetland. When I walk on my tiptoes It's just like the last two keys of a xylophone Those guys were so sly and sneaky Yeah they were Seeing one of those guys out in the wild must have been a thrill.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Stealing pies. Couldn't look more suspicious. Stealing pies from your grandmother's windowsill. Oh, yeah. Were they French guys? Because French were the only other guys that were wearing stripes at the time. Those were mimes. Mimes.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Yeah, mimes. Mimes are fucking weird. Yeah. Mimes are fucking weird. Yeah. Mimes are super weird. That's French comedy, though. Old Italian comedy is weird as fuck, too. Like, old Italian comedy would be dressed like that caricature that Sass would be wearing at the fucking improv place or whatever. Comedia dell'arte.
Starting point is 00:49:21 It was like a weird-ass shit. Or old Italian. It was just, weird, like tragic. Like people would just dress goofy as fuck. Just like, I don't know what... You guys need to watch Italian Spider-Man. That's one of my favorite movies of all time. Really?
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yeah. It's called Italian Spider-Man. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. It's one of the best movies of all time. Just watch it. Is it Spider-Man just dubbed over with Italian? No, no, no. It's a completely different story. Oh. Yeah, it is. It's one of the best movies of all time. Just watch it. Is it Spider-Man just dubbed over with Italian?
Starting point is 00:49:46 No, no, no. It's a completely different story. Oh. Yeah. He's the best. Oh, yeah. Just go home and watch Italian Spider-Man.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Is it a porno? No. Just a good-ass movie. Can you pull up Italian Spider-Man? Is he a pervert? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Okay. Yeah, he's a pervert. Check this out. It's not. It's. It's Italian, so it's cool. It's like the Cuomo's.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Yeah. Full movie on YouTube. There you go, boys. All right. Let's watch 30 minutes. Let's watch this entire movie right now. The best movies of all time. What year?
Starting point is 00:50:17 What year? I think 2000s. We know it's each 2007 at the top. 60s. Well, it's set in the 60s. Parody. Released 2007. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Oh. So that's one of the bad guys. Okay. That's another bad guy. Love the eating a knife. That's Italian Spider-Man. That is. We are only two strangers.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Your Black Jack will decide what to drink before we start. Whiskey. Okay. The Spider-Man kind of looks like Caleb. Yeah. He's chunky. Is he? This is nice. It has good... Oh, shit! but I like this is nice it's good it has a good oh shit alright
Starting point is 00:51:12 still dealing wait so the stakes are just a gun I think if he loses he dies what about the other guy he has no stakes I think if he loses, he dies. What about the other guy? He has no stakes?
Starting point is 00:51:31 Now, where does the spider part come in? Oh, he's Spider-Man. Okay, he just is. Wait, what? But they never... I don't think they even need to check if the bet was begun. They didn't do anything. Were they gambling in Agrabah? How's that the dealer?
Starting point is 00:51:53 That's good acting. They're at the Penn Agrabah location. He's right next to him. What's up, fellas? Oh, no. Blackjack. This is not how Blackjack's played. Oh. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Blackjack. Also Blackjack. Yes. Oh. Oh, go. Spider. Oh, fuck. Oh.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I didn't know he was Italian Spider-Man. I didn't know he was Italian Spider-Man. Oh. Italian Spider-Man. No, he was Italian Spider-Man. Italian Spider-Man just has a shotgun? Yes. He doesn't actually have Spidey webs? No. Oh, no, that looks bad.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Italian Spider-Man doesn't really follow the same ethical rules. Oh no, that looks bad. What the fuck? Italian Spider-Man doesn't really follow the same ethical rules. Oh shit. That's the main villain. Oh! Oh! Now I know it's Italian. A mass murderer.
Starting point is 00:53:04 That was his guma. Look at all these guys. Why don't they just shoot him? He's a little chunky, isn't he? Yeah. A little bigger. It's okay. Oh, wow. Special effects.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Cigarette. Could have shot him right there that cigarette wasn't lit was it it was yeah good ass movie yeah damn fat superhero is progressive why do you know about any representation i used to watch tiny spider-man all the time i have i have the shirt i'll wear it tomorrow i don't know how I don't know about that. Yeah, it seems like something you know about, TJ. Tying Spider-Man. Very famous gif came from that movie.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Guy going... Oh, that's from this? Yeah. Oh. They really act with their eyes in Italy. A lot of eye close-ups and mouth close-ups.
Starting point is 00:54:05 It's dramatic. It's dramatic. It's super. You should take notes for your next episode of your little sketch comedy show. That's how it's fucking done. Yeah. Oh, shit. You should do Jewish Spider-Man.
Starting point is 00:54:24 I like how he just carries a shotgun. Yeah, I know. He doesn't have any... He didn't have to play that whole round. He's just a dude with a shotgun. Shotgun the entire time. It was sweet. It was like how his logo was on the card.
Starting point is 00:54:38 And I think the Joker took that for Dark Knight. Oh, that was... Oh. It was inspired by that. Oh, wow. Okay, well, also if you're saying that, when he drove off on the motorcycle, that's like the exact same ending as the end of The Dark Knight. Yeah. I think a lot of
Starting point is 00:54:52 The Dark Knight was pulled from Italian Spanish. Yeah. Yeah. A shocking amount. What the fuck? Christopher Nolan's not a genius after all. He has a YouTube. Just took it it from that one for one Can I talk about Chili's real quick? Yes
Starting point is 00:55:09 I was really hoping we'd have some Chili's in here I know I was eating the Chili's chips all last week And they were good as fuck every single day It was insane how good this Chili's is And only Chili's Will $10.99 get you a bottomless. I had to read that twice because it looked like such a gosh darn good deal.
Starting point is 00:55:29 1099 gets you a bottomless drink, a starter like bottomless chips and salsa, and a full-size entree like the classic old-timer with cheese and a big old side of fries with the Chili's three-for-me deal. That's a heck of a deal. And it really doesn't get better than that cheeseburger that they got the old timer with cheese. I'm telling you it is a feast, but like a casual feast. I mean, it's just 1099 and we're not talking gold forks and stuff. Affordable, delicious bang for your buck. That's how I see it. And you can't get this unbeatable abundance of food
Starting point is 00:56:05 anywhere else whether you're getting fast food or picking up groceries no don't even worry about that you want chilies in your life so head to your local chilies where you can enjoy the three for me deal for just 10.99 i'm happy chilies is around because it's just going to make all of my life a little bit better the more i eat chilies the more I'm going to enjoy myself on this planet. Amen. That's how I feel. I love Chili's. That's just how I feel.
Starting point is 00:56:30 TJ, pull that up. Look at Fleming getting in on it. No way. Yeah. Frank is in on it. Is he? He's never been to any hot dog places in Ireland. I love it.
Starting point is 00:56:44 I love it. Frank hot dog places in Ireland. Oh, he's been long. I love it. I love it. Frank, Frank, Frank could be in on it. I think Frank would be a hit in Ireland. Yeah. He'd do quite well there. There's definitely other people who are just like him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Raving lunatics. It'd be great if he found Seamus Fleming. Yeah. He was just the exact same mannerisms. I don't want to talk Kiev. Slam the door in his face. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's who it is.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Oh. Damn. I think it's just mustache. That mustache is fake too, but the other guy who he was playing opposite looked real. I thought he was going to peel it off at some point. That's a fake mustache? It looks real.
Starting point is 00:57:34 I think you're wrong. It's fake. That's not fake. All right, you're right. You're right. It's just a good fake. A little Jack Black looking too. Look at the costume design. Serves Jack Black looking, too. Who did the costume design?
Starting point is 00:57:46 Oscar, yeah, for sure. You think Italian Spider-Man's still alive? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good. Is that the only one they ever made? They made a second movie. I forget what it was called.
Starting point is 00:57:56 I think he's in it. He lost a lot of weight. It was good. Probably Ozempic. Probably. All the celebs are doing it. Is that the insulin thing? I am a little curious.
Starting point is 00:58:05 I want to do it. I do. I would like to take my body to the limit. Look how good Kamasta looks. Yeah, fuck. It's everywhere. I cannot escape people talking about Ozempic. Old people, young people, friendly people.
Starting point is 00:58:16 You should do it. I should fucking do it. It blocks off your hunger hormones or something. Yeah. It works. But then you get off it and you just eat it back. The thing is, you never get off it. You do it until you die.
Starting point is 00:58:28 But I also am stupid in my head where I'm like, if I could just get like 25 pounds lighter, I could maintain that. No, for sure. No. No, no, no, no. You just do it forever. I love eating. It's the only thing I do.
Starting point is 00:58:42 If I was not going to be like, I wake up, I'm like, what's for dinner? Yeah. Yeah, it's the best. Twice a day, it's the best. Yes. Let's pump that up. Three to four times. Three to four to five.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Two is awesome. Two's not enough. But two are, you will get two max awesome meals a day. Did you see the Gwyneth Paltrow video everyone's mad about? What's she doing? She says she only eats, she doesn't eat until noon, and then she just has beef broth. And then she puts ozone up her butt. Ozone gas. What?
Starting point is 00:59:16 She puts good farts up her butt, and then she has like two teaspoons of veggies for dinner or something like that. And that's how she keeps herself cleansed and whatever. Sounds miserable. It never works. You're right. I've gained back almost all my weight from TB12. How quickly was that? How many pounds? A month and a half.
Starting point is 00:59:39 I haven't gained it all back so I'm up eight and a half, nine pounds. You look great. Gotta be reassuring that no one notices. Yeah, I actually came to the conclusion this morning. I was 200.0 this morning, and I was like, you know what? I could be 10 pounds later, but I like doing this.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Yeah. I ate almost a whole chocolate egg yesterday. It was great. Almost a whole chocolate egg? Is that a lot? Does that sound like a large quantity? Oh, no. It was a very big egg.
Starting point is 01:00:03 Oh. Oh. Dinosaur style. Yeah. What made you stop? What made you want to finish it? My kids really wanted some, so I saved some for them. Pussy.
Starting point is 01:00:13 It was for everybody. It was for everybody. Damn, it is almost chocolate football season. Fuck. Chocolate basketball season. Everyone. Oh. The hell basketball season? Oh. The hell was that?
Starting point is 01:00:28 Like, Chase, Mike turning off? That shit felt uncomfortable. A little hungry myself. Are you?
Starting point is 01:00:35 Starving. Oh, I thought you were a little hungry one second ago. Liar. That's can't get a story straight.
Starting point is 01:00:40 Interesting. These are moving quick. KB, you ever hear when Matt and Shane talked about, I think they've even clipped it now. I think I saw it on TikTok recently, but they were like, if you enjoy every meal that you eat, you're probably going to die soon. Yeah, that's definitely a fact. Yeah, it's tough to hear. It's kind of true.
Starting point is 01:01:03 If you like everything that you eat. Yeah. It's tough to hear. It's kind of true. If you like everything that you eat. Yeah. It's not good for you. You're hurtling towards an early grave. That's where I've been lately. You have to dislike some of the shit you eat. You have to. Or just eat less.
Starting point is 01:01:15 Or just do a salad. Yeah. Yeah, you do have to. Sucks. I don't understand that. Go on. All right, all right. So, in order to
Starting point is 01:01:25 take care of myself, I got to eat things I don't enjoy. But if I don't enjoy things, I don't really care to take care of myself because I want to enjoy all the things. What if you take a vitamin? I take a vitamin. So isn't that the same as eating a salad? I think I enjoy 100% of my meals. That's what they're
Starting point is 01:01:41 saying. I'm not sure I eat what I want to eat. Right, so why be here longer but not enjoy it while you're here? But I'd like to enjoy things while I'm here. What if you just eat what you enjoy but eat less of it? I don't know how that works either. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. It's a fact. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
Starting point is 01:02:02 These are just words now. Oh, that's a fact. I like the food. That's your right. As an American, brother, you can stuff your face silly. But like today, did you not? I had four ribeyes this weekend. Yeah, I know. I was going to say today, did you not?
Starting point is 01:02:16 I did a salad today because I was like, I think my body is starting to reject the fact that every meal I've had. I'm going to order Chick-fil-A for lunch. Okay, so you're just going to go right through it. That is my answer to that. Got it. That is who I am and that is what I am.
Starting point is 01:02:30 And you will die soon. Yeah, yeah. Look forward to it. Oh, that splinter. I'd like some tweezers. I'll take it out. I fixed Nick's hangnail. Actually, it hasn't come back.
Starting point is 01:02:43 I got at the root of it. Fixed it for good. Get a needle. I just need tweezers. It's hanging out. There might still be some toe equipment on the shelf to your right, Ron. On the bottom, I think. It was around there. Is that where my toe equipment's been? Oh.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Let's get this out. Just tweezers? No, no, no. Oh, yeah. This is what I want to see. Ron's like an engineer now. Yeah, let's go to work. I don't know if that is what we need. No, take it off.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Yes, it is. That's exactly what you need. Those tweezers? Yeah, you lay it against. Yes. Oh, that's like scissors. No, that's what tweezers are. Have a point.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Let's get it out. You won't feel if he cuts into your foot a little. It's all skin, right? Dig in there, brother. Yeah, go get it, Ron. Mine? Yeah. Mine, Brandon? Go get that. You won't feel if he cuts into your foot a little. It's all skin, right? Dig in there, brother. Yeah, go get it, Ron. Mine? Yeah. Mine, Brandon?
Starting point is 01:03:27 You'll get that. You content? Come on. Come on now. Yes. I love popping shit on my back. It's just going to be very easy because you can see it right there. You see it?
Starting point is 01:03:36 Don't tell him what's going to happen. See it right there? Right in the middle? Yeah. No. Hold on. It's just hanging out of the hood. It's hanging out there.
Starting point is 01:03:46 There you go, Ron. It's out. He hasn't touched you. Okay. Can you hold his foot still, Nick? Yeah. He's wiggling. I can't.
Starting point is 01:03:59 That's just... I'll see you for reps. Regular tremors. Tell us what you're seeing, Ron. See, there's something sticking out here, but he keeps on wiggling. Yeah, stop wiggling. I can't. That's just my natural circulation.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Where's Kevin Bacon to stop these tremors? Oh, see, I'm digging that skin right there. I gotta... Hey, you're missing it. You see it? That seems high. That seems high. That doesn't seem where it is.
Starting point is 01:04:28 What's that? Was that a real scream? That was a real scream? That was a real scream? What was that? He pinched me. That was a real... He pinched me.
Starting point is 01:04:39 He set your foot down on my leg. That was a real scream. Wait, should we get the globe? He could set his foot on that. Stop. Stop moving. What is it, tickle? It can't hurt.
Starting point is 01:04:53 Oh, he's got it. Roan has it. Oh, I see it coming out. Oh. Is it big? Oh! Stop moving. It does look very sharp
Starting point is 01:05:05 I don't think that's it though Another one You're just pulling out his bone Oh, you get it? Oh, that's a big one No, I don't know what the hell that is That might just be a bit of skin What is that?
Starting point is 01:05:19 It looked like something Something came out Ew I'll keep digging Put your butt down as a story Do you have a... It's still there. All right, let me keep...
Starting point is 01:05:27 Am I in the right spot, though? Is it over here? No. Is it just crease? You see that little crease? Is it the crease or is it the dot? He's just got a pimple on the bottom. Okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see it now. All right. Ah! alright you really are a pussy Ron are you even seeing anything that could I saw it when I had the different angle now I'm kind of just blindly digging
Starting point is 01:05:59 I feel like you got it I see it well now I'm just pulling flesh out of your foot yeah I feel like you got it. I feel like you got it. I got it. I see it. Well, now I'm just pulling flesh out of your foot. Yeah. I don't think you're pulling it out of his foot. It's just his foot. Yeah, now you're bleeding.
Starting point is 01:06:16 All right. Is he bleeding? Mind if I step in? You got foot blood on you, dude. It's way worse. Yeah. Oh, now I'm just... Your blood sounds like it's weak. Point to me where it is. Point to me where it is. I'll get it. It's gone. This is way worse. Yeah. No, now she's... Get your head out of your head. You'll be able to get it. That blood sounds like it opened it up. Point to me where it is.
Starting point is 01:06:26 Point to me where it is. I'll get it. It's gone. Point to me where it is. It's in that hole where the skin used to be. See, it's like... It's like right at the... Is it that?
Starting point is 01:06:40 The easternmost edge of this gash right here. Where, right here? I think it's right there. Oh, I see it. I got it. Steady that hand. We're making this wound much bigger Jesus Christ had smaller wounds in his feet
Starting point is 01:07:14 What are you doing? He's farting into the wound He's blowing the debris away Where? This you think it is? I think there's a black spot on the eastern end Do you need This, you think it is? Right there? I think there's a black spot on the eastern end. Do you need cell phone light on it?
Starting point is 01:07:29 I'm seeing shit. It's not there. Kyle, put your cell phone light on it. You think it's this? Kyle, you think it's... I feel like Sam Bradford. I don't even see it. Kyle, you think it's this? I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:07:38 That? That felt exactly right where it was. Oh, so it is this. No, that's just... Oh, so it's probably in there like that. That's probably like the bubble of it. You think it's this? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:47 So it's just come out this way. Right there. There's trouble. This ain't good, Brandon. Ain't good. No, just cut my phone off. I don't think that's it. Only one way to find out.
Starting point is 01:08:05 Dig in there, brother. All right, let's get in. I don't think you have a splinter. Yeah, I don't think that's it. Only one way to find out. Dig in there, brother. Get in. I don't think you have a splinter. I don't think you do. I don't see anything. I think Rome got it, and y'all are just now just spiking the football. What if it's like a corn? That'd be a corn.
Starting point is 01:08:16 Yeah. Corn's on the bottom of your feet. You can get them on the bottom, but you can take them out just like this. This is the same process of taking out a corn. Okay, corn. Keep holding on. I can't get my foot worse. It's fine. I'm good. I'm going to take him out just like this. This is the same process of taking out a corn. Okay, corn. Keep holding on. It's fine.
Starting point is 01:08:29 I'm good. I'm fine. I don't. I think Ron got it. You think so? I put something up, but I think that could have just been skin. I don't know, man. I don't freaking know, man. You got it or no?
Starting point is 01:08:42 It's gone. Are you sure? Yeah, I mean, this hole is where it was. All right, so then you're good. Walk around, do a little lap like you're in the shoe store. A little lap like you're in the shoe store doing the little 10-yard sprint. Yeah, these are the ones. Put these back.
Starting point is 01:09:00 We'll need these again at some point. Welcome. Are you going to say thank you to Roan? Thank you, Roan. You feel better? You feel good? I can't. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:11 Now the whole foot hurts. I'm still sore in the same spot, just for a different reason. Put the shoe on. Give us a little jog. Jog in place. I'll keep holding on. Oh, wow. Nice fast. Oh, he might be back. Go out in the hallway. Give us a jog right in front of here. I'll keep holding Oh Oh Oh wow
Starting point is 01:09:25 Nice fast Oh he might be back Go out in the hallway Give us a jog Right in front of here No but just I want to see the jog We want to see
Starting point is 01:09:31 We want to make sure The patient is good Here he goes Oh Oh yeah he's Whoa Whoa Yeah he looks good
Starting point is 01:09:43 I'll say it's smooth Yeah he looks good You look good You look's smooth. Yeah, he looks good. You look good. You look good. Hurdle that trash can. We're playing the hits today. Yeah. We also have these Yak shirts on sale.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Kate's wearing one right now. I don't think they're on sale anymore, right? No, those are one day only. We have these Yak shirts one day only. Thanks for buying them. You're never going to get these anymore. We just have them. We're never going to get these anymore.
Starting point is 01:10:02 These are ours now. Bunch of kiss coins in Columbus. Oh, yeah, I saw. Kissed a lot of men. You boys were getting smooched on. Yeah. Many men put lips upon me. I think we have the one that we sold, the secondary one.
Starting point is 01:10:17 That one's just a kiss on the cheek. The original one, if I ever see that one, I'll give it. That's lips. Lips. I've seen one original, and I planted one on. Yeah, Lips. The other guys, they just get a peck on the cheek. If they're even lucky.
Starting point is 01:10:31 If they're even lucky. A little joke kiss. A little Josh Peck. I laughed at that. By the way, this week, Friday, we got a special episode on Friday. We're going to tape it on Thursday. Oh, yeah. It is WWE 2 on Friday. We're going to tape it on Thursday. Oh, yeah. It is WWE 2K23.
Starting point is 01:10:48 It's out now. Game is even stronger. In a while, new take on... In a while, new take? In a wild... In a whole new take. In a whole new take. Or it could have been a wild new take last week.
Starting point is 01:11:01 On the 2K Showcase, this is an awesome game. You can play as John Cena's greatest opponents in legendary matches over John's 20-year career. You can beat John Cena. Nice try. No, you can't. Can I talk about it? Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 01:11:13 2K23 is going to be great. They've redone a lot of the game. The game is awesome already, but it's going to be fantastic. I played it the other day. It is super fun. I came in on Thursday and I played it and so TJ we're making
Starting point is 01:11:26 we're making our own players yeah everybody already made them except for you two because you guys are in Ohio okay and so Friday we're going to have an episode where we intertwine our players
Starting point is 01:11:35 yeah do we have can we reveal two of the guys yep oh fuck yes who do we have WWE 2K23 out now
Starting point is 01:11:43 yeah so Friday there'll be a battle royale between all you guys. Oh, that's going to be awesome. To decide who's the champion. And there's a real-ass belt. And they're building a set for us. That looks awesome. Yeah, Friday's show is going to be awesome.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Should be like three hours. What, 32 waist for the belt, just so you know right now? 34. No, you're not. No, you're not. No. Yeah. No, you're not. Brandon?
Starting point is 01:12:07 36. Four. 38. Give me a break. Stop me when you're ready. 40. 40. Waist, same as his age.
Starting point is 01:12:16 34. Nice try, buddy. 40. Can we see him? A gentleman's 40. Yeah, you want to see him. We'll do two a day. Let's see Nick
Starting point is 01:12:25 and Kate I had a lot of fun making mine I think I drove the guys nuts I haven't gotten to make mine yet I'm going to be practicing all week Oh yeah sure The ultimate showdown How do you know that's John Cena?
Starting point is 01:12:42 You can't see him I forget I'm going to have to need a reminder of my character I was in there How do you know that's John Cena? You can't see him. I forget. I forget. I'm going to have to need a reminder of my character. I was in there, and I wanted him to be wicked cool. Okay. I wanted him to be on t-shirts. I wanted him to sew action figures.
Starting point is 01:12:57 I wanted him to be the most popular wrestler in the world. Okay. Oh, yes. I remember what it is. He's a player. He is... I wanted a play on words. Oh, yes, I remember what it is. He is... I wanted to play on words, and I was inspired heavily by Walt Whitman. Is this you?
Starting point is 01:13:15 Yes. Yeah, is this me playing sped up? Yes. Okay, yeah, so I named him... We're not just making ourselves? I made a version of myself. Really? A version.
Starting point is 01:13:29 I'm going to make a version of myself. Yeah, this is my soul. Wait, Tom was just one of the names? Yeah, so I was trying to. I couldn't think of what I wanted to. The white? The white. Oh.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Yeah, so they let you really edit. You can really go anything. wait is did you do this yourself this is me playing right now uh on monday you spent that much time chasing the eyes what the hell yeah i'm a default ass dude oh no you have a closed eye yeah i want to be kind of like flirtatious and winking. I want him to be really rubbing it in the faces of the opponents like he's kicking your ass
Starting point is 01:14:08 and he just like is winking at you. Full lips. Small lips. I'll probably take care of that. Let's see here. A little smoochie. Yeah, so this game
Starting point is 01:14:16 the amount of What the hell? Steak sandwiches. This looks like it was under Sid's bed in Toy Story. He survived Sid's bed in Toy Story. He survived Sid's.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Oh, shit. He's got hypercephaly. You're a mutant, dude. Yeah, so I really, really. This is awesome. This is like a wrestler. This game is fucking cool. Yeah, this is a wrestler. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:42 They let you change everything. Everything. I took forever. So I didn't know what Walt Whitman looked like. Yeah, there's a wrestler. Yeah. They let you change everything. Everything. I took forever. So I didn't know what Walt Whitman looked like. Oh my God, Nick. Yeah, you can make him British. It's kind of like an evil Michael Scott. Oh, you're changing each tooth.
Starting point is 01:15:00 Yeah. Yeah, I didn't do each tooth. That was crazy. Yeah, you can edit by tooth. And you could give him acne, but I didn't want them to be ugly, so I decided not to. Right, that would be fucked up. Not that acne makes you ugly. It almost always what I want in my character, I would say.
Starting point is 01:15:19 So I want to be real pace. Oh, this is awesome. Well, you could change his personality. You made him cowardly. He's a huge coward. He's from mainland China, I believe. What is all this? This is me changing the signs people are holding when I walk out.
Starting point is 01:15:41 I didn't want him to say USA because I'm Chinese. Right. Oh, yeah. What the? Oh, no. You three stooged him? Oh, man. I think I was going to go with that, but I didn't want to take away from his face, so I just went with that.
Starting point is 01:15:57 Okay. It's the villain from Donnie Darko. What'd you draw in here? I didn't know it was drawing so i just accidental i don't even accidental swastika you look like a fucking giraffe yeah so that's pretty this is all like going according to plan so far i want to be a bear um one strip one hairy striped leg with pants over pants over top that's just for me to know for you to never find.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Oh. Big Papa Pump? Inspired by. No shirts. I think I went acrylic nails. Is he sassy? The chest hair really turned this one around for me. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:45 I'm so excited to do this. more fuckable yeah it's it's yeah oh so i want it when he comes out of to like wrestle i want people to think their tv's in black and white i want them to think it's an old-timey match he is literally in black and white just him um what's that okay i'm not gonna lie i think his name i think his name's white whitman oh yeah white heavily inspired by walt whitman but he's white you did a great job i like that yeah unlike the real walt whitman everybody knows is not okay so he will be part of the match on Friday. That's right. Then we have Kate's.
Starting point is 01:17:30 Yeah, my inspiration. I can't wait to do this. You got to do it today. Feminism. Feminism? Feminism. This woman is tired of making 80 cents for every dollar a man makes. She's out there saying, fuck your business degree.
Starting point is 01:17:43 She's coming into the ring. She's going to fuck you up. She's not messing around. That was my theme. I'm going to punch her square in the face. Which equal rights? She's going to cancel all the other wrestlers? And also just me if I,
Starting point is 01:17:59 in another world, if I was a wrestler. The belly wiggle. It took me a minute to figure myself out. This doesn't look like you at all. It's not my fault. Oh, it's Kamala. Given I haven't held a game controller in a long time,
Starting point is 01:18:21 so it took me a second to like, but once I got rolling on this. I was so confused at like what back was. Yeah, and and then what but once you figure it out yeah yes I'm all used to Nintendo clam clam yeah Oh clam slam cake so yes it took me a minute to figure out a couple things what the hell you can do that it looks pretty good
Starting point is 01:18:53 I'm proud of myself if I can figure this out that's me oh my god in white face what oh my god there are women everywhere this is crazy In whiteface? What? Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:19:08 There are women everywhere. This is crazy. Baby Kate. Oh! All is all? It is. That's what I should have gone with. It's embarrassing for you guys to see me this way.
Starting point is 01:19:25 This is just you. 600 pounds? You're 600 pounds? You can't see it yet until I go up against an opponent, but the size difference, because I got to see myself go out against somebody, is hilarious. Seven feet, 600 pounds? Did any of you think of that to make yourselves huge? I didn't know how to try, but it doesn't really make you that fat.
Starting point is 01:19:45 I spent too much time messing with the eyeballs, and they were just like, you're done. Oh, no teeth. That guy's 100 pounds, but he looks like he's 700 pounds. Whoa. He's not bent at all. That is a feather. Yeah. Yeah, you can't really tell until you see me in the ring with somebody.
Starting point is 01:20:07 It's giving boss bitch. Yeah, big time boss bitch energy. It's lady boss. That's what I was going for. I almost went with the same hairstyle as Nick, but I changed it at the last second. Oh, now. Oh, you're Slim Jim. You're Bull Nakano.
Starting point is 01:20:23 Okay, that was an inside wrestling reference. Sorry. It's all right. There's probably someone out there that's fist pumping. You can spray paint your hair. Yeah, that's... I did dots just because I figured out I could do it. Marge Simpson.
Starting point is 01:20:35 Yeah, that was part of my inspiration. Another bad bitch. Marge. Three dots? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, I didn't know you could change, like, literally every single afterthought. The eyes.
Starting point is 01:20:52 The eyes, the teeth. I like how you have two mouths. Well, wait till you see. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, you're just talking about my eyes. Oh, my God. Oh. It's kind of horrifying.
Starting point is 01:21:03 Yeah, Kate, what the fuck? I know. I love being able to, like, do this kind of stuff. Oh. It's kind of horrifying. Kate, what the fuck? I know. I love being able to do this kind of stuff. Oh, it's so fun. I would have been there all day. I get so carried away, yeah. You know when an artist keeps adding too much and they just destroy it? That's my bread and butter.
Starting point is 01:21:16 Cartoon lips. You can get tattoos anywhere on your face or anywhere. You can move them around your body. Knickers I almost went with. Put a warning right on the nose. And then back in the business suit. Yeah. It really does.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Wait, can you make the titties fat? Yeah. You change the mass. Best mass. I forget where I'm from. I think somewhere in Eastern Europe. That makes sense. Did you guys both get booed?
Starting point is 01:21:55 Are you both heels? Yeah, we're both women in heels. Come on. Right. Yeah, there she is. There she is. Wow. Oh, look at that hair move.
Starting point is 01:22:05 Yep. Aren't you a little intimidated? This is going to be very fun. You guys have to make yours today. All right. Oh, yeah. That hair. I feel good about it.
Starting point is 01:22:18 Yeah, so the winner will get a belt, and then the loser of each match will have to spin a punishment wheel. Oh. Game on. They've been teaching me have to spin a punishment wheel. Oh. It should be very exciting. Game on. They've been teaching me how to play it. What? Yes. Are we playing it or is it computer simulated? You guys are playing it.
Starting point is 01:22:31 No, no. I've been practicing and I'm going to whip all of you. Yeah. I'm very excited about it. No, no, no. Oh, yeah. There she is. I'm going to get it on my PlayStation tonight.
Starting point is 01:22:42 Probably can't afford it. That's exactly what I was going to do. You're going to do that too? Just play it. Yeah. I'm going to train on my PlayStation tonight Probably can't afford it That's exactly what I was gonna do You're gonna do that too? Just play it Yeah, I'm gonna train for the next week Beat the fuck out of you guys Beat the fuck out of you guys Beat the fuck out of you No, I'm gonna win by just spamming a button
Starting point is 01:22:57 That's how you win any fighting game Do you guys beat the computer when you played? Yes I ran out of time, I didn't get to play. Yeah. I took way too long. Lost. I always just create
Starting point is 01:23:08 Royal Rumbles and watch them. I don't even play the game sometimes. I just watch them. I decided my fantasy draft order that way one year.
Starting point is 01:23:15 Get all the boys. Yeah, so Friday's show is going to be three hours? Something like that. In a ring? Yeah, after Thursday's show.
Starting point is 01:23:23 You're building a real ring for us. We have a real set the set looks really cool. Downstairs. Downstairs. Are we going to be wasted? Can somebody give me a real wrestling move? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:23:35 Cat, will you powerbomb me? Yeah. In real life. Oh, yeah. When Kyle and Donnie went to that wrestling school in Buffalo, you interviewed a guy that was fun. Sore. Oh, it's a bitch.
Starting point is 01:23:50 Hey, is Spencer Lee going to go to the MMA? UFC? I think he's going to try to do the Olympics. Do you think he ever would go UFC? I think guys like Nickel are proving the point. Yeah, it's a no-brainer. You actually get real fans. Yeah, but I think I'd Nickel are proving the point. Yeah, it's a no-brainer. You actually get real fans. Yeah, but I think I'd rather go wrestling.
Starting point is 01:24:09 I think the guys who will be the best and don't have that desire to have star power, yeah. But if you want to profit and be a star, then... Because he would beat anyone on the ground, right? I have no idea how that would translate his skill set to him. I don't know MMA enough. I don't think he's big enough to go pro wrestling. He's a small guy, yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:32 He's 5'4". Got a good name, though. I saw him in Iowa. I almost whipped his ass, but I didn't because we were— He's so fucking strong. Needed him on the show. Seeing him lift, it's insane. Should have whipped his ass, Brandon. Should have whipped his ass., it's insane. Should have whooped his ass, Brandon.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass, Brandon. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass.
Starting point is 01:24:51 Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. Should have whooped his ass. All of them? Their post-match interviews, most of them, they give all glory to Jesus and God. A little bit over the top. You also have the best teammates, the best coaching staff, the best program in the world. And the best God.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Yeah, but Jesus did it for them. They're denouncing the prophet Muhammad? Denouncing false prophets. False. Oh. Interesting. That woman has a large tuchus. What show is she for?
Starting point is 01:25:26 I saw that, yeah. I think she's interviewing here. She's doing Mean Girls. I hope Mean Girls leans into it even more and like next week they're like, I don't know how they lean into it. Is murder that bad? Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:25:35 I've killed three people. We're not wiping ourselves, right? They're doing, they're getting everyone riled up. If they lean into it more, they'll fall down. It's not broke. What were you going to say, Steven?
Starting point is 01:25:45 There is some inner office drama unfolding as we speak. What? Break it down, Steve. The dog was too riled up. Bring up the camera. Bring up the camera. Oh, it's on this? I officially hate the Mean Girls by Kelly Teagues.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Brie did the same clip last year. Also, KFC did the same. I remember KFC, and he went viral with responses. Years ago. Oh, what? Only like two or three, though. Wait, they ripped off Grayson Brie? Almost word for word.
Starting point is 01:26:15 Not washing our hands was our thing. I'm done. Are they in a fucking competition? Boys washing their hands, that means your dick's dirty. If you have to wash your hands after you pee, what do you get a dirty stick? And why do girls have to wash it? We don't touch nothing. We don't even touch nothing.
Starting point is 01:26:30 I get when you take a shit, wash your hands. I will wash my hands when I take a shit always. That doesn't even make sense, though, because don't girls have to wash their hands? For what? I'm not sticking my hand up my vagina. Clem had the best response. He's like, this is the first thing I can't let my kids show on Barstool. Keegs, break it down for us. Clem had the best response. He's like, this is the first thing I can't let my kids show on Barstool. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:46 Hello. Keegs, break it down for us. They're ripping off. What an invitation. We owed you an invitation for that time. You let us. Well, that is true. Yeah, we owed you an invitation.
Starting point is 01:26:57 I appreciate that. First of all, outfit, spectacular. Cute. What's going on? You guys caused trouble today. Okay, all right, nice. What are you here for? What's going on? We're done... We caused trouble today. Okay, all right, nice. What's going on? We're done.
Starting point is 01:27:08 We're done with the Mean Girl clips. And I'll say this. I know those girls as girls, right? I know them as real people. I know they're not that fucking stupid. I know that they don't want their legacy to be moronic conversations on the Barstool main page. It's too much.
Starting point is 01:27:22 I can't have it. But where I'm dealing with an issue here is that I have people in my real life asking me wow are these girls you work with actually that's stupid you work with these people blah blah blah whatever i try day in and day out to make us all look better and smarter than people think that we are on the internet and i refuse to perpetuate these stereotypes with these fucking girls i won't do it they're better than that you think there are they being exploited by like higher powers here at Barstool to get clicks? I think that they like it.
Starting point is 01:27:48 I think that they say shit. I don't think that they're necessarily saying shit on purpose, to be said. I think that they are having dumb conversations while they're recording a podcast, which is not bad. I've listened to their show before. It's not bad. I think that they take the clips of the dumbest parts of their conversation, put them all over social, and then they just love it. They eat it up. And it's time to be embarrassed counterpoint yeah what if they are just real fucking idiots yes i think that is more likely the case yeah so like let them that's the
Starting point is 01:28:15 case let them be themselves they're dumb which is why i'm saying that someone needs to let them know that we're all talking shit about them behind their back i'm sorry we're all talking shit it's time it's over behind their back at this point well talking shit about them behind their back. I'm sorry. Yeah. We're all talking shit. It's time. It's over. They need to know. They're behind their back at this point. Well, right. It's not behind their back anymore. Kelly's letting it out. We have to end this madness.
Starting point is 01:28:31 So what did they say? Did they say anything to you? They said nothing to me, which I'm concerned. Oh, no. Because at first, I wrote the blog, or I was saying that I was writing the blog, and Jordan replied being like, oh, wow, I can't wait to read it. And in my head, I was like, nope, you don't want to read this girl. I know the fact.
Starting point is 01:28:43 Can she read? That's a good question. People are asking that in the in the pen out there people are like can they read can they write no one knows at this point no one knows it's hard so that's a problem but i like no i haven't heard from them i'm sure that i'll hear from them at some point i know alex will will laugh it off and she'll talk about it and tweet about it 10 000 times for the next week that will happen i don't know what it's true i don't know what jordan will do i think that jordan cares a little bit more about how she is perceived now but do you think they actually do the next week. That will happen. I don't know what Jordan... I like this. It's true. I don't know what Jordan will do. I think that Jordan cares a little bit more
Starting point is 01:29:05 about how she is perceived than Alex does. But do you think they actually do enjoy this? Yes. I think Alex does. What do they enjoy about it, though? The attention.
Starting point is 01:29:14 But, okay, so... The clicks, the views. I mean, it's hard to argue that their clicks don't get millions of views every single time. But it doesn't really hurt us. It just hurts...
Starting point is 01:29:23 No, it hurts the girls at Barstool who don't want to look like fucking idiots. Every single guy online... Okay, I didn't see it from that because I was just saying... How many times... I have lost count of the amount of times I've had to try to dig myself out of a situation
Starting point is 01:29:34 to prove that I'm not a fucking idiot and that I actually have salient points. And I'm just sick of having to do that and they make it a lot harder. And I'm done with it. So, we drew the line in the sand today. I like it. Line in the sand.
Starting point is 01:29:47 Yeah. I like their clips but I can't speak. But why do you like the clips? Why do you like the clips? Because they're absurd. Because they make people mad. Exactly. They make people mad and they do whatever.
Starting point is 01:29:56 And that's funny and that's fine but we've had enough. How much longer can we do this? And you said it's done. What made that happen? What made that end? Today's clip about I don't wash my hands. But why? Is it done for sure? Did they agree upon it being done?
Starting point is 01:30:07 Oh, no, no. I'm just declaring it done. Yeah. Oh. I'm declaring it done. We're not in on the joke anymore. I love the energy. We're just not.
Starting point is 01:30:13 I can't with this. It's too much. It's so stupid. Kelly, what about- I can't have my head around such stupidity. What about- Do you think maybe there's a Streisand effect going on here, which you're actually, if I
Starting point is 01:30:26 wanted to be really stupid in conspiracy theory, they were like, hey, Kelly, let's start a beef. Kelly's in cahoots. Kelly's in cahoots, and she's just signal boosting it. If they were that smart, then I would respect the shit out of them, but I know that they're not, so that's just not the case. If they were that smart, we'd all be in on it. We'd all get the reassurances
Starting point is 01:30:42 all day long that, don't worry, guys, it's not a bit. You didn't get the script this morning? I know, yeah, you're right. I actually forgot to check my email. I was told to defend them. Yeah, I forgot to check my email. I don't know what side I was supposed to be on. I got overcome with anger.
Starting point is 01:30:54 See, I hope they go further. I was just saying. How, though? But, like, I hope they're, like... When do people stop believing? There's no way that it's even believing at all. Like, who believes? Who is believing?
Starting point is 01:31:04 Like, I want to see them deny the holocaust I want to see them like just go like AIDS is real like that's like who they are now I wrote a blog about this today and I said it's it there's a fine line between acting how like acting like your persona online and then it infiltrating your real life their lives have been infiltrated this is who they are now they're out here like denying the existence of dinosaurs and not washing their hands and touching everything in the fucking office and I'm just not trying
Starting point is 01:31:26 to get the plague. Wait, I don't wash my hands when I pee. Listen, I know, it's a whole argument and again, we're in an office full of men. I can't assume
Starting point is 01:31:34 that everybody here is going to wash their hands. I pee in bottles. I know Kate washes her hands. I pee in sands. I do. It's shocking. It's good enough for me.
Starting point is 01:31:39 It's hard to keep track on that but again, do you run around being like, hey, by the way guys, I didn't wash my hands today. No. FYI, just in case you're wondering and want to feel like, by the way, guys, I didn't wash my hands today. No. FYI, just in case you're wondering and want to feel like you're sitting in filth,
Starting point is 01:31:48 I didn't wash my hands. Like, I need the reminder. I actually do need to remind myself to wash my hands after I fondled Brandon's foot. Yeah, you should definitely do that. Yeah. That sounds really gross. Okay, so we're done.
Starting point is 01:31:58 So I'm very interested to see what their response is. Now I'm waiting for their next move. So the blog went out at 1. I've been writing it since like 11 so they could definitely see it in the back end. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:32:07 They knew it was coming. They knew it was happening. It's been an hour and a half at this point and I have no response, no tweet, nothing. And so they also... I've been tweeting at other people
Starting point is 01:32:14 but she hasn't tweeted anything at me since. Oh, they also ripped off Bree and Grace? Oh, yeah. Well, that to me is like... I mean, Bree and Grace, they said that thing
Starting point is 01:32:21 and they're gross. They're trash bags. They know that. They're also children. It's fine. They do gross things and they're gross they're trash bags they know that they're also children it's fine like they they're they do gross things and they live their own life like that's fine whatever I'm not I already talked shit about that when it happened a year ago I'm now not gonna condone these
Starting point is 01:32:34 women who are too old to be making jokes about not washing your hands on clips I just won't I love it we need to have a little decorum in this place so elevate the place you see my counterpoint is no I know. That's why you're going to Chicago. Well, I mean,
Starting point is 01:32:47 I'm just saying, this is what it is. It's the fucking, you're coming to the circus every day. Is this the thing that's bothering you the most or was this the straw that broke the camel? This was the straw
Starting point is 01:32:56 that broke the back. I'm bothered every single time. And again, I try not to engage. I refuse to like, add to the clicks, add to the controversy, add to whatever.
Starting point is 01:33:04 You can avoid it by not looking at the main page ever. Exactly. Yeah. It's really easy to not look at the main page of the place you work. But it's just, it's like I said, it's infiltrated my real life where people are asking me like, hey, what's the fucking deal? And I don't want to have to talk about this outside of work. I just don't.
Starting point is 01:33:19 Now, Kelly, this might be a little hypocritical of you because, you know, like maybe the most famous people in the world to never bathe. Well, I don't, I talk shit about them too. Like Brad Pitt doesn't bathe. Oh, no, I'm not talking about Brad Pitt. Jake Gyllenhaal? No, I'm talking about the monarch. I'm talking about the royal family.
Starting point is 01:33:40 Those motherfuckers never bathe. I mean, the rest of them, they're all to hell. They never bathe. I only ride for the queen, and she's dead now. She notoriously had dirty hands. Yeah, but she also drank a lot during the day. She had poo-poo hands. That's what they called her.
Starting point is 01:33:52 Called her poo-poo hands. They called her queen poo-poo hands Elizabeth. Did you read that from a press release? I saw that, yeah. Fucking pals like moving forward. Like, never shake her hands. She's got poop on her hands. Maybe we change the whole vibe here.
Starting point is 01:34:01 Maybe Alex Bennett is the motherfucking queen of England, and we should all just never wash our hands again and look like we rolled in dirt for the rest of our lives. That's what we should do. And then maybe we'll all do great at the company. Like, what the fuck? I love this energy. Okay. It's always my energy.
Starting point is 01:34:16 But yeah, this was the straw that broke the camel's back for sure. I just don't think it's funny or cool anymore. It feels lame. Like, don't you guys feel fucking lame when you see that shit? Don't they feel lame? Yeah, but I- Isn't think it's funny or cool anymore. It feels lame. Don't you guys feel fucking lame when you see that shit? Don't they feel lame? Yeah, but I- Isn't that crazy? That's one of those things that they're doing it to themselves.
Starting point is 01:34:31 I don't care. If people perceive them as dumb, that's their own fault. Yeah, well, I stopped caring about how people perceive Barstool as a whole. Yeah. You got to do that. I guess, yeah. Maybe I- I mean, I thought that I was at that point.
Starting point is 01:34:49 But again, to be asked about the girls all the time. think that hits yeah that's a little different i don't have to deal with that it's close at home for me i also yeah just it's every time you know we'll get people say mean things whatever people are always shitbags on the internet but they'll lump us in with them right and i'm like we're not the same we are not the same right so okay that's it all Well. I anxiously await their. Yeah. I am too. I don't know. They could be crying or they could be laughing or they could never speak to me again or they
Starting point is 01:35:10 could invite me. What if they never speak to you again? I'm okay. Okay. If that's the vibe they want to go with for this, then sure. Because that's insane. But we will see, I guess. I do.
Starting point is 01:35:21 I do enjoy. I like this. Yeah. This is fun. They're not in today? No. They haven't. No. I haven't seen them. And I don't know where they are. Alex has been gone for. I do enjoy it. I like this. Yeah, this is fun. They're not in today? No, I haven't seen them. And I don't know where they are. Alex has been gone for, I don't know, she's traveling the world right now.
Starting point is 01:35:30 I don't know where she's been. And I don't know where Jordan is either. She sits behind me all day long. Every time somebody walks behind me, I jump because I think it's her. Because I have to talk to their faces, you know? Everything that I've said in any show, blog, whatever, I will say to their face. What do you think their defense would be?
Starting point is 01:35:49 Clicks? It depends on if the cameras are on or not. If the cameras are not on, it'll be like, oh, come on, it's clicks. But if they are on, they'll defend it to the death. Are these people subscribing after the click? Yeah, that actually is a good point. I wonder that, too.
Starting point is 01:36:00 Fans, are they buying merch? I think there's a... Or Kim, too. Have you talked to Kim about this? I wrote in my blog that. That might not. I merch. Yeah. I think there's a I didn't write about that. Or Kim too. Have you talked to Kim about this? I wrote in my blog today that I respect and love Kim and I apologize in advance.
Starting point is 01:36:10 She probably is like finally someone said it. Someone said no someone said someone was talking to Kim and they were like oh Kim did you see the clip and she goes
Starting point is 01:36:16 oh my god yeah that's been a problem for a while. So clearly this is not like a clip. Alex just didn't wash her fucking hands according to her mother.
Starting point is 01:36:23 So what are we supposed to do you know? Damn. What was know? Levels? Levels? He's fucking pumping some levels. Let's play us out. What is this? Is that my inner monologue? That's what I feel like right now.
Starting point is 01:36:39 Hey, well, Kelly, thank you. You're always welcome on the act, Kelly. Thank you. I love the energy. Thanks for letting me bitch. I hope it's not too annoying. I'll talk to you guys later. Yeah, hopefully we get a... They come in.
Starting point is 01:36:50 Are they coming in today? They don't come in. I don't know. They never come in. They never come in. I want to hear David's side of this. Did you just call him David? Isn't that her cameraman?
Starting point is 01:37:01 Oh, I thought you were talking about David Portnoy. I was like, what? I was thinking about Blattman. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I mean, if they want to make themselves look dumb. Have at it, girls. What's a guy in a bag?
Starting point is 01:37:14 Allow me to be the first to say. David? Oh, my God. No, I'm just kidding. I do wonder if anyone subscribes when they see these dumb clips, because that's a good point. Like, what is, social clips don't do anything but I think that some people gauge their success based on are their
Starting point is 01:37:32 socials growing not the show itself so it's like more Instagram followers more TikTok followers more views on a video like the views are the end all be all from some people's perspectives. Social media followings mean nothing
Starting point is 01:37:48 if there's nothing you can do with it. Right, if you can't convert them into fucking cash. You're not selling out shows in Toronto. You've got to fucking be the king of the six. I was running through the six. Did you see Drake? Oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:38:03 Is that your show? All of them. All the Drakes? Oh, nice. Is that your show? All of them. All the Drakes? All four shows. Oh. The Jamaican Drake. Every single Drake. I can't wait till they come in.
Starting point is 01:38:16 Me with my glasses and my hair back for the wedding and the tux. I look like the guy that shot Drake at the wedding. Was his name Greg? Craig Manning. I do feel a little bad for Jordan. There has to be a toll that every time you go online. The bottom line is they don't enjoy it. I don't know, though. No one enjoys being amidst that level of hate.
Starting point is 01:38:36 They keep doing it. What is their core fan base saying to these clips? Because the Barstool Instagram isn't indicative of that. Yeah, you're right. Maybe they're in on it, though, and so they get it maybe like I feel like it was funny seeing the tweet and it was like I saw it like 10 minutes after it was posted and it was like 40 likes and 75 quote tweets oh yeah and no no retweets what it always is yeah someone's framing that as successful though that was funny because i was
Starting point is 01:39:08 actually talking views are always the social views are always brought up in meetings are they yeah oh you're in me i think they want everyone to like they they take the 30 seconds from our podcast where we look fucking stupid and like get this out on the main page now. Every time you slip up. Yeah. They didn't even post it for Jordan. They didn't post it themselves? I didn't even post it for Jordan. I feel a little bad for Jordan because...
Starting point is 01:39:38 Alex is a billionaire? Yeah. That's pretty much it. Like Alex tomorrow... We're all waiting to say it, yeah. I mean, Alex tomorrow could be like, all right, that was fun. I go.
Starting point is 01:39:48 Yeah, as soon as she gets bored, she's fine. Yeah, right. That would fuck with my head a little bit if I were Jordan. She's like, Alex is like Andy dropping Woody. Yeah, right. Right. Just like, I don't know. Just in the back of my head be like, all right, so we're going to make a fool of ourselves. I was saying that this weekend.
Starting point is 01:40:04 I was saying, do you think, because content Kim's been doing man on the street videos, and I was thinking, Content Kim has to be the actual only person as wealthy as her, and that does make sense. I don't think Content Kim is a billionaire. It's not her side of the family. Well, her tax bracket. Doing man on the street. There's not her tax bracket. Doing man on the street. There's not a single other person doing man on the street.
Starting point is 01:40:29 Yeah, dude, Andrew is fucking whatever channels. Andrew. They got canceled, right? He probably had like a couple million dollars. It'd be funny if Bezos started doing man on the street. That's what it is. That's what they're doing. That's basically what Elon Musk is trending towards,
Starting point is 01:40:43 just trying to be popular at all times. Yeah. But her videos do well. Some of them have gone pretty viral, yeah. Who knows? She's fearless. Can't wait. What if Jordan just came in and just slapped Kelly?
Starting point is 01:40:57 Break the shit out of her? Jordan said the other day, one of the clips is about her anger management. I see all their clips. I see them all. She said she goes to a dark place. You never know. Kelly could be in for it. about her anger management. I see all their clips. I see them all. She said she goes to a dark place. So I, you never know.
Starting point is 01:41:06 Kelly could be, Kelly could be in for it. Also like, I also feel bad, a little bad for Jordan because it does feel like she wants to have a relationship and then she puts out clips
Starting point is 01:41:16 where she's like, I haven't washed my hands after I poop. I can see guys getting into that though and being like, yeah, I guess. I think it's like the dude with the tiny dick
Starting point is 01:41:26 like showing his penis to the entire of Philadelphia being like hey like there it is that's true he was hot in that moment and you're never gonna like
Starting point is 01:41:33 you're not gonna find out halfway into the relationship like wait has she never opened herself on the vacation or whatever true she's actually
Starting point is 01:41:41 doing the hard work now right exactly yeah I'm floored this is the take that has so many people up in arms, though. The dinosaur one was so much more. The dinosaur was worse. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:50 But if you look at it as intentional, and if they don't mind it, then... Who cares? You just wish you could write for them. You wish you could write some spicy shit for them. Yeah, if they don't care, what... You should be able to write something then. They don care we should respect if i get as like a chick that works here maybe yeah um that's the one part that kelly brings up that i i'm is a blind spot for me but like in most everything it's like if they don't care i don't care i'm not going to get mad or sad for someone else.
Starting point is 01:42:26 Right? I don't think any human... That's a waste of energy. I think they do care. I think anyone would care. You think they do care? You think the negativity online gets to them? I think every single human would be affected by that negatively. If they're doing it on purpose, then they're...
Starting point is 01:42:40 I mean, you know, comments with like 10,000 likes on the Barstool Instagram. Really? Yeah. Saying what? The meanest shit you've ever read.,000 likes on the Barstool Instagram. Really? Yeah. Saying what? The meanest shit you've ever read. Yeah. Like what? Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:42:50 But if they're doing it to get those comments, then they shouldn't be upset. Any engagement is. Maybe they can have that feeling of like they're pulling a fast one on everybody. Right. It feels like it's morphing into that. Like that wasn't the original intent, but it's going that direction. So they're like, oh, we can control this if we can bottle this up and get these reactions consistent. There's an air of Barstool's social team strategy going on.
Starting point is 01:43:15 Yes. I can't remember the last time I was featured on the main page and they consistently are getting up there. Yeah. Whatever the cost, they're doing it. It's really key to post this in yourself just to piss everyone off more. I got a question for you guys. Les Deceases was pretty funny. If they're writing this, that's a great line.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Yes. It's incredible. How much of a heads up do you think you should get before your landlord says that they're going to show your apartment? 24 hours? Yeah, 24 hours. Two hours. Oh.
Starting point is 01:43:52 It's crazy. Well, no. Yeah, that's... Have they already established? No. This is the first time we're hearing the apartment showing in. I was going to say, if you're established that it's apartment showing time... We never got any email or anything.
Starting point is 01:44:05 Are you allowed to say no? My room's a fucking disaster, and we have to record after this. Well, whatever. I mean, you have a mice problem. It's not like you should tidy up and try to misrepresent yourself to the people who are going to rent after you. There's mice shit all over the place. I guess it doesn't really matter to me.
Starting point is 01:44:20 I don't care. It's stupid. I don't really want people just going in my apartment right now. Freaks. Yak fans. Freaks. You know what to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:29 Schedule. The showing. Schedule the showing. It's the acid apartment now. Imagine if I came back and there was just a coin on my pillow.
Starting point is 01:44:39 There's a big boy laying in your bed. Yeah. All right. Should we spin the wheel? I got to do the rundown. Yes, sir. Spin that shit.
Starting point is 01:44:55 Bernardin. Le Bernardin. Oh, no. God damn it. We'll do it for the 12-hour stream? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not going to be me. I know it won't be me.
Starting point is 01:45:10 It's fine. Put my theme song. I have a really bad feeling about me today. I have a bad feeling about me. I can't do it today. Well, unfortunately. That's not how this works, buddy boy. Technically it is. is yeah wait a minute
Starting point is 01:45:27 i won't do it either no you gotta say you're gonna do it and you'll be fine it's just i'm just straight up no i'm not gonna do it i'm gonna i'm an adult man this is an eliminator wheel, right? Yeah, no. Reunionizing. Just kidding. I would do it. Yeah, see? I want to get wet.
Starting point is 01:45:52 That's what you got to say. No, I'm going. Sorry, you're staying dry. I'm wet. Oh, I want to get wet. I want to get so... Dibs. I just called dibs. No way it'll be me.
Starting point is 01:46:02 Zah's free. Let's go, Zah. Here goes Zah. Here goes Zah. I'm just so cold. I'm freezing. Don't guilt it. I'm just a lady who's cold. Hey!
Starting point is 01:46:16 Damn it! Oh, you wanted to. Oh, fuck. No bad. Thank you. I'm going to pull him right now. I got wet and wild. I have no other outfits here. I actually can't do it, so I have to shoot with that. I've been pulling right now. I got wet and wild. I have no other outfits here.
Starting point is 01:46:25 I actually can't do it, so I have to order for this. Okay, way to be Jay. Sucks. Grats, big brother. Where to be? Do people still enjoy the wet wheel, or is it everyone? No, no one does. It kind of makes it funnier.
Starting point is 01:46:46 Yeah. It's the thing that everyone hates. It's like our one thing that the chat and us, we agree on. Like, this sucks. Oh, come on, come on. I hope if it's you, the cock on your buffalo shrinks. Yeah. I think we can all agree there's one person that it should be.
Starting point is 01:47:05 If there's any sort of cosmic justice. Yes. There is not. There's one bad boy in this room. Yeah, there's one. There's one rule breaker. A very bad boy who deserves this. That's justice. You know what bad boy we're talking about.
Starting point is 01:47:27 I was waiting for this. How am I always at the end? It's unbelievable. You're always at the end. It's crazy. I just love the screen time, whore. If the wheels just... Oh, yeah, I like the wet wheels.
Starting point is 01:47:51 Stop. I like the wet wheels a lot. Yeah, it's amazing. Look at this. Oh, man. Wait a minute. All right, come on, Kate. Justice, Kate.
Starting point is 01:47:58 This will literally... Justice, Kate. ...break my freezing spirit. There's one good girl and bad boy on this show. First of all, it doesn't have to get wet. Oh, God. This is a clean sweep.
Starting point is 01:48:17 Oh, no. Oh, it's so cold. Oh, my God. I really cannot express. Come on, karma. Come on, karma. God damn it. Karma, fuck you, Brandon. Oh, don't get too cocky.
Starting point is 01:48:34 Sit down. I took a shower this morning and washed my hair. Oh, no. Oh, that's wrong. Ew, you washed yourself? That's gross. All right. Two, one.'s gross. 2-1. I can't.
Starting point is 01:48:49 I'm not even... If you get this next one right, I'm screwed. No. Oh, no, he needs two more. Four. Oh, come on. This sucks. 3-1.
Starting point is 01:49:01 Oh, this is so unjust. Somebody start looking to make sure Glennie's not... This is so unjust. Somebody start looking to make sure Glennie's not. This is so unjust. Somebody's in there. This is so – All right, Kate, fight back. Me too. Come on, Kate.
Starting point is 01:49:12 Three, two, Kate. Come on, Kate. Nobody believes in you, Kate. Come on, Kate. One at a time. Nobody believes in you. Come on, sit. Oh, Kate. Oh, Kate. Why did we hate this? This is amazing
Starting point is 01:49:37 This is awesome See you later bad boy You fucking asshole Oh! Oh! Oh! See you later, bad boy! You fucking asshole! That bad boy's gotta get wet! God damn it, that was awesome! Wow! I love the wet wheel!
Starting point is 01:49:58 I believe in God! What a moment! That seriously is, that was a divine intervention. Holy shit. That fucking bad boy. He's going to get an infection in his foot. He's getting mercy for sure. Yeah, he's going to get mercy.
Starting point is 01:50:15 What a comeback. Gangrene. Oh, my God. I tried my best. Yes. Out of breath. I am out of breath. What the hell?
Starting point is 01:50:24 Every time I open Twitter It's stuck on this fucking video What the fuck is this Yes Great job Kate Thank you Wow what a fight You just never gave up
Starting point is 01:50:39 You never gave up That's like winning the lottery It felt like winning the lottery Being that close. Because it's not a joke. And man, was that justice. No one deserved it more than him. It really does suck because it's so cold in this office.
Starting point is 01:50:54 I know I won't shut up about it, but for everyone, the wet wheel just, it truly does suck. It ain't cold in the office. It's just cold in this room specifically. Yeah. The room is freezing. What a comeback for the wet wheel, by the way. We're all at its lowest. That was a great moment.
Starting point is 01:51:10 I feel like I just won something big. Reminds you of the magic. Yeah, right. The wheel is just sentient. It feels us. It's just like he needed to get wet.
Starting point is 01:51:28 I think he knows it too because he's been in there a good amount of time now. Yeah. He better be soaking wet. A little baptism for maybe a born again. Look at that just salad out there. Not his. Mine. Is it?
Starting point is 01:51:41 Oh, yeah. Sass. I'm walking there afterwards. Trying to get some steps in. Talk about a new leaf. Enjoy, bro. Well, the one close by doesn't have what I wanted. What you want? Don't worry about it.
Starting point is 01:51:52 Chickpeas. A little chickpea action. A little hot honey sub. Ay-yi-yi. Ay-yi-yi. Subway sandwich. What? They do subs?
Starting point is 01:52:03 Not sub wrap. Oh. Damn, he's really in there. He's really soaking it in. He's just hanging. Brandon. No. Brandon, you good?
Starting point is 01:52:22 The security guard shoots the... I mean, we got to be at... He's got a gun. Oh, here he is. Oh. The whole... Why is so evil? Oh, he didn't take off his shirt either.
Starting point is 01:52:34 Oh, yeah. He's so wet. Oh, he's barefoot with a hole in his foot. Oh, my God. He's sopping. Yeah, he's wet. Oh, damn. He did the right thing.
Starting point is 01:52:44 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That's sopping. Oh, damn. He did the right thing. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. That's the wettest anybody's been. Oh, look at his jeans. He's shivering. Oh, look at his jowls jiggle. Wet wheel. Oh, the wet wheel.
Starting point is 01:52:56 He's jiggling. Yes. Oh, my God. You okay, man? You're like you're in a massage chair It's an unoccupied massage chair You're like going over a speed bump What a segment
Starting point is 01:53:10 Rumble strip Back on the highway brother It's the best Alright well that's the show Thank you, Raymond. It's the act It's the act

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