The Yak - It's the Bak | The Yak 4-6-22
Episode Date: April 6, 2022The yak is BACKYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello?
Are we back?
Yeah.
Oh, here we go.
The answer to the charades was Mickey Mantle.
Oh.
I was drinking, and then my liver hurt, and then I was womanizing, and then I was hitting homers.
I didn't know he hurt his liver.
Yeah.
I didn't realize that.
All-time drinker, right?
Yeah.
Mick, we're back.
We got a reverse color scheme going on.
Tan and black, black and tan.
We do.
Hell, yeah.
Welcome to the Yak.
Owen's here.
Roan's here.
Jersey Jerry's here.
Feels good to be back, boys.
Well, let me tweet out that we're back.
We got live sound.
Dude, I love you, Jersey Jerry.
Thank you, Roan.
I appreciate that.
That is very nice of you, Roan.
Nice.
I'm going to tweet out that we're live.
It's good to be back.
How's everyone doing?
It's great, dude.
It's great to be back.
Owen's back in this bitch off of a short trip to Kansas.
I thought Owen was about to be in San Antonio with the fellas.
No, I had to get back to the Yak.
Love it.
I missed it a lot.
Yeah, no, I missed it too.
I had to slap around some of the trolls yesterday.
I was thinking about this more.
Like, mental health is important.
Mental health is something that everyone stresses.
Sass is on a mental health leave right now.
Yes, he's carousing around the country on a mental health leave.
Right, and everyone should give, you know.
He's on a mental health rumspringer right now.
He is.
If people are like, I need to step away from mental health,
everyone respects that.
Well, I need to sometimes slap around some of the trolls for mental health.
So why can't people respect that?
Right?
Like, that's my way of coping with it is every now and then I'll be, I was in an Uber coming
from the airport back to the office.
I see people tweeting like, the yak isn't a priority.
Why aren't you on it?
It's like, motherfuckers.
I was just in New Orleans.
I'm literally landing and going to the office.
Shut the fuck up.
And also, Brandon was at WrestleMania.
You were at UNC.
Everyone loved the Kansas video that Nick and KB did.
Shut the fuck up.
So I should get my mental health through that.
Yes, that's fair.
How do you decide who you respond to, though?
Is it like if someone has one or zero followers,
I feel like that's a tough response. I've been trying to do a better job of the zero followers because the other
thing is that i'm i mean i've been on the internet for a very long time i understand how it works
if i respond to one person and everyone's like it's blood in the water because then people will
start responding to me trying to get a response out of me i get the game so what i try to do is when i
do get in that mood i try to have a hard stop so it was during the uber ride then i got done with
it it was like hard stop done yes move on take your hour to get it get it all out of your system
and here's here's the the real point i bring this up because i think the majority, 99% of fans of this company of the act understand
there's 1% that just suck and they'll always suck. And that's every fan base ever. That's not even
like, I think Stooley's the best fan base in the world, but there's always 1% of every fan base
that are going to be annoying. What I've said from the day one, and I've said it throughout my
entire career and people who
have been following for a very long time know this I do actually listen and I do actually change
things when I think there's something wrong so instead of being like you guys suck you've fallen
off like fuck you guys that does nothing there was one guy who said hey when you guys all know
that you're going to be out why don't you guys record an extra show? And I said to myself, that's a fucking good idea.
And I texted Steven right away on the group chat of the Yak.
And I said, Steven, bump that calendar.
Everyone should fill it out.
So going forward, when we see a stretch of days where there are, you know, a majority of us are out,
we will record an extra show that we will run that day.
And that's how we'll do it going forward i love that yeah and like that's the easy solution that i hadn't thought of until
someone who actually was being helpful was like hey if like seven of you or six of you are out
why not just record a show you're right this was a perfect storm where everyone was traveling
different places and if we had just seen it coming which now we will we could record
an extra show last week but i also all i ask from people is just a little bit of trust like trust
that we like to do this show this isn't to me a show that i'm like oh i gotta do that like if
there's a chance for me to do the show i'm gonna be back as soon as possible to do the show where
i'll be in to do the show i'm not like gonna lollygag and be like this is the content i
fucking hate to make.
I mean, I think it's the favorite thing.
Yeah, this is funnest stuff.
We do it every day.
And that's a great point, Rowan, because the way you can help us is you can subscribe to
the YouTube channel, the Barstool Yak channel.
Anytime we have an ad, you can use our promo codes.
And like I've said, I gave this speech, I think last week or the week before, the more
people that interact with the Yak, the more people that watch it,
that subscribe it, that like the video, all these numbers matter for future advertisers,
for future time commitments where we end up getting to a place where the Yak is like,
hey, you guys got to go do this.
Nope, we can't.
We have the Yak.
Yes.
That would be a great world to live in.
The Yak is a big show too.
Numbers wise, the Yak is a big show. The Yak is a good show, too. Numbers-wise, the Yak is a big show.
The Yak is a good, valuable, big show
that we want to keep on pushing.
So we'll get there. And you're right, Ron.
Trust us. Trust that
if I'm not on the Yak, it's not like
I'm sitting with my fucking thumb up my ass.
Unless that's for some
kind of different content.
Well, that was vacation in Mexico.
I had my thumb up my ass.
So, yeah, trust is key. We trust that was vacation in Mexico. I had my thumb up my ass. Which is nice sometimes. Right.
So, yeah, trust is key.
Trust.
We trust you.
You trust us.
And the best thing you can do is spread the word of the Yak.
Engage with it on YouTube.
Like all the videos.
Subscribe to the Barstool Yak channel, which eventually we'll probably switch over to.
Do all that stuff.
Rewatch it multiple times.
Yes. Have it run like like what i do with
my son we just watched garbage truck compilation videos over and over just to get the views up
because you like the garbage truck guys i want them to make more garbage truck compilations
fuck yeah i found a purple one it's fucking sick damn like the big purple monster we pull that up
yeah can we get the big purple monster real quick? Any way to pull that up? While you're pulling that up, too, I just need to do some, not house cleaning, but I
would rather just call attention to it.
Dude, look at my face.
What's, is it?
Do you see that?
What is it?
What?
I see a couple things that are wrong.
Do you see this?
What's up with your, is that a fuzzy or a sty in your eye?
Look at this shit.
You got a fuzzy in your eye.
That's bonus.
Other eye.
That's a bonus fuzzy.
Oh, okay.
Dude, look at all this shit all over my fucking face.
What is it?
Dude, I got-
Did you get in a scuba diving accident?
All my blood vessels are burst.
I got one of those-
Have you ever seen those things where you put it on your nose and it sucks the pimples out of your face?
Dude, yes.
Did that?
It don't work.
I got it, and all it did was beat the fuck out of my face.
Dude, look at this shit.
I'm just bruised.
I was about to have to put on makeup or something like that,
but I was like, you know what?
I'm with the fellas.
I'm with Jersey Jerry.
Jersey, he can see me for who I am.
You know what I mean?
You're not going to give me a hard time.
But look at this, dude.
I look like I just got a nose job or some shit like that,
which would straighten my nose,
but I don't even have that.
You look like you're deep sea diving and went up to the surface too fast.
Too fast, yes.
And I have all the burst blood vessels.
Is it one of the vacuums?
It's like a vacuum, and I was even thinking it would be sweet content for us because there's a camera on it,
and you get to see it sucking the shit out of your nose.
It's foul, but if you don't do it fast enough or if you suckle for too long on part of your face,
you're going to wind up looking beat the fuck up like me.
I just had to talk about it in case I didn't want it to just be sitting there,
everybody looking like, ooh, what the fuck is that?
I'm bruised the fuck up, Jerry.
Yeah, there it is.
Old purple.
Look at that beast.
By the way, before we play this, Stephen,
here's another one where I'm getting ahead of it.
For the Yak live show, or sorry,
the Dozen live show in Chicago in two weeks,
we should get it set up because we will be there, you, Steve, the three of us.
Okay, so can we do the Yak from Chicago on Tuesday?
Oh.
So you weren't following the middle.
Nick and KB
will be there too.
Good point.
Yeah.
So let's get it set up
that we can do it
from the Chicago office
on that Tuesday.
And we can even maybe
do an extra show
that Tuesday
to run on Wednesday
when we're all traveling back.
Okay.
That's a good idea.
Yep.
That Monday?
No.
Tuesday.
I know. Monday I'll be here. Okay. So yeah yeah because i asked to be on the same flight as you guys so i assume we'll just
leave after yeah i was not gonna leave till tuesday morning oh okay it's an easy flight okay
if we leave at like 9 a.m on tuesday morning we'll be in chicago by 10 30 okay i'll probably
go monday just because i'm leaving super early Wednesday.
Got it.
Okay.
Cool.
All right.
We'll plan that after.
Okay.
Maybe we should just have a yak where we just do all of our plans.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what traditionally the yak was for.
That was part of it.
Maybe we do it from the Chicago office or something like that.
Also, I'm going to make a pledge.
I'm not going to lose my voice for at least a month.
How are you going to do that?
Tea?
I'm going to stop doing whatever is making me lose my voice, which is drinking and going
to live sporting events.
Screaming?
It's been bad.
It's been bad.
It's been a bad couple from the Super Bowl till now.
I've lost my voice like three or four times, and I know it sounds terrible.
You're going to have to do that Adele shit, like that Michael Buble shit where you just
don't talk for like four days or whatever when you get that vocal surgery, I feel like that happens to folks that talk a lot.
Yeah.
Run their fucking gums.
Damn.
Yeah, it was tough on.
It's getting better.
It was bad.
It was bad yesterday.
It was very bad Monday.
Yeah.
I was just drinking, eating, smoking, just bad shit in New Orleans.
That city will eat you alive.
Did it spit you out?
Oh.
Were you in the French Quarter the whole time?
No, we were in the art district.
On Monday, I went for a three-hour walk just to be outside to just sweat some stuff out.
Three hours.
You need to.
Probably wasn't even enough.
I walked for an hour and a half straight away from our hotel.
It was like seven miles.
Holy shit.
And I walked back.
That'll do it, though.
That was great.
That's all you need sometimes.
Listen to some music.
Hell yes.
Fucking groove it out.
Jerry, what's your exercise routine been?
Just eating and just relaxing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not exercise at all.
Jerry, sweatshirt weather is about to go out.
I mean, yeah, it's miserable.
I hate that time of year.
I know.
Why?
You know, Rowan, I went, listen, I always was a large, always.
For a couple years, I've maintained a large.
I haven't went past a large.
But now it's to the point where it's, you know, is getting a little snug dude it's embarrassing when you have to go up
i talked about this the other day the most embarrassing part of going up because i just
recently had to make the decision to go to a 2xl uh like this job is great because one of the perks
is we get a lot of free shit sent to us i had to reach out to all the free shit people and be like,
recalibrate.
It's a two X now.
Just so you know,
stop sending the X.
I'll let you know when we go back down.
It's sad.
It is.
They should do vanity sizing like the size,
like a large for a dude who's like in his late twenties,
early thirties.
It should like start shifting where like a large becomes an extra large.
No adult male wears a smaller medium.
None.
Yeah.
PFT does.
He wears a medium, doesn't he?
He wears a medium.
Kyle and I wear large t-shirts.
Yeah.
Small men.
They really should come up with an XL,
between an XL and double XL.
Micro sizes. XL. XL Plus. Yeah, between an XL and XXL. Micro sizes.
XL.
Like XL Plus.
Yeah, XL Plus.
Oh, okay.
Like rare price.
There is a, fuck, I forget the brand.
There is a brand that I've gotten from before that has like X, it's like extra large-ish.
Also, you got to be careful of where you order from too because.
True.
XL Plus. You know, some places I'm you order from, too, because. True. XL Plus.
You know, some places I'm a 2X and a 3X.
Yeah.
Yes.
It depends.
It's crazy.
But some brands like Carhartt is like a brand that's made for the working man.
That's large.
A large is a true large.
Large is true large in that for me.
That's the only thing I'm a large.
And also, that's a great brand because they just have a lot of fabric.
Yeah.
You need some fabric to just cover some shit up.
Yeah, it's extra fat or like a pocket.
I'm not using that pocket.
That's for my titty.
I need the pocket.
I need this pocket to keep away from my belly.
Yeah, it's for my gut.
Some pockets are just necessary.
A good thing to do, too, is the-
You just got a pocket.
It is true.
I don't feel comfortable if I don't have a pocket or a collar.
It's got to be one of those.
Yeah.
Really?
A regular t-shirt?
I just feel so fat.
Well, I can't wear the thin t-shirts.
I can't wear it.
I need a pocket.
I just look disgusting.
Pocket right here or collar?
What you can do, though, is old school stuff,
like vintage stuff from the 80s and 90s and stuff like that,
they run bigger and wider.
Boxier cut.
Yeah.
When men were men.
Yeah, dude.
That's what I...
But it's expensive.
So, like, to keep up with buying vintage stuff because I want to be a large, but I know I'm
not a large anymore.
It's tough.
Yeah.
And then the washing machine industry is fighting against us, making everything smaller.
Everything you put into a washing machine is like a fucking time machine.
It fucking shrinks it back to when you were a younger man. Yeah, so I'm on a
decline here. Oh, that's not a
decline. It's a recalibration.
Let's get back in shape. The thing
is for me is I stay up so late
that the snacks is
just what buries me at night, late.
Yeah, except I heard that
I used to think if you ate before
bed, that turned to fat easier, and that's not
true. No. It's not? I've been living my life by that. Same. turned to fat easier, and that's not true. No.
It's not?
No.
I've been living my life by that.
Same.
For my whole life.
Just kidding.
Carbs.
I'm all for carbs.
I'm at the heaviest I've been since I've been sober.
Yeah.
Better to be sober, though.
Yeah, better to be sober, for sure. Better to be sober.
But this is the-
You were saying that before I made a joke.
This is the-
You're trying to tell him to get back on his toes.
Jerry, you might want to throw a crack at him.
Skinny feels pretty good.
What were you doing a couple years ago?
You looked incredible.
You're going to be big either way.
I'll tell you what, though.
If I went on a two-week crack run, I'd be down 20 pounds easy.
My skinniest friends are on drugs.
They look like models.
I mean, there's a reason they call it heroin chic.
Like, you look slim as fuck when you're on some dope.
Don't do that, Jerry.
No, I mean, I'm...
Joke about it, joke about it.
Just for today, I won't do that.
Can I interest anyone in getting more pliable?
No, shut up.
I just went to yoga today.
I am trying to get more pliable.
Down eight pounds already.
Oh, wait, that's not pliable.
You're just starving yourself.
Life.
Yeah, you're just not eating anything good.
No, I'm eating very good.
It's very clean.
Yeah, you probably hate life, though.
No, it's good.
You can't eat desserts?
Correct.
That's stupid.
Okay.
That's the joie de vivre.
Yeah.
That's the joy of being alive.
I'm not on a college weight.
I'm at 195 right now.
So do you think you could run a 4.4?
Yeah, the only thing holding you back was a little stomach fat
Yeah
At the end of this, I would love to do that again
Yeah
I bet you couldn't
I bet I cracked 5
I bet you couldn't bike a 4.4
Like the amount of time that it would take
That would be very difficult
To start up the bike
To start the bike, yeah
That would be hard
I bet you couldn't rollerblade a 4.4
That's probably even harder to start
Yeah I bet you couldn't rollerblade a 4-4. That's probably even harder to start. Yeah.
A 4-4, like just four different types of racing,
four different types of 40-yard dash so you can go the fastest.
That'd be interesting.
Maybe a moving walkway at an airport.
Oh, that would crush.
No, you wouldn't.
But you've got to be pulling on that.
No, you have to pull a suitcase, though. I would love nothing more than for you to run a 40 this summer
and completely blow out your hamstrings and Achilles.
Dude.
Why do you wish all these bad things on me?
Because that would be so funny if you did the TV-12 method for six months
and you just destroyed it.
I'm talking like...
First stride, it just explodes out of his thigh.
I'm talking like he needs to be in an actual wheelchair for a month.
Like that type of injury.
It would be so awesome.
Yeah, like he blows out both his Achilles.
It would be the ultimate test.
You bring it on yourself because you're so positive.
It would be the ultimate test of your positivity.
It's like how strong is his resolve?
Yes.
I don't know.
We could work something out.
All right.
All right, let's blow them out then.
Let's fucking slice the back of your Achilles.
Let's manufacture a blowout.
What's the safest way to tear broken Achilles?
I think we just literally cut his Achilles.
Slash them.
Yes, slash them.
That's the fastest way.
Yeah.
I mean, if it were to be injured, it would have to be a natural thing.
I'm just saying I'm down to run a thing.
I'm not down to intentionally get injured.
Okay.
We'll figure out a way.
Maybe we'll put a big pothole.
Wait.
Do you think you could snap your Achilles on the spot if you wanted to?
No, definitely not. No, but if we put...
If they're talking about slicing it... Like a wing bone.
We did like a false hole
where it's just a huge pothole in the middle
of the 40 covered up with grass.
That's why I fell during my 40s, because there was
essentially a pothole towards the end. Yeah, so we need to get
that, and I want you to get really
badly hurt. Like the Baycott thing.
The floor just drops out from underneath him.
They said that the floor, they looked at the floor,
there was nothing wrong with it.
It's like, what?
How can you say that?
You watched the trap door open up underneath him.
The thing bounced.
The first defense people were using was like,
that happens all the time with big men.
There was just no evidence of it.
There is a video of Zion dunking recently
where he pushes down on the wood.
Those are actually –
400 pounds.
Those are floors meant for rehab.
Oh, it's like a –
Yeah.
He has given it.
Like a children's playground.
Yeah, that just opens up.
Maybe the shadows.
I don't know.
Who knows?
Poor guy.
Yeah, poor guy.
Should we spin the wheel?
Did you guys not do the wheel?
We did it yesterday.
We didn't do it two days ago.
I think we're one spin behind.
So we got to do two spins.
I volunteered that when we're all back, I mean, we can do it with this group if we want,
that I would volunteer for the slap wheel because it's on me that we missed it the first time.
No, let's just make up for it by spinning twice today.
Okay.
Whatever you want to do.
All right.
Zah's getting nervous.
He's got soccer to watch later.
Yeah, I got no change of clothes.
Oh, man.
Well, it won't land on wet.
Yeah, we'll be fine.
It won't land on wet.
It's not going to get wet.
That would never happen to us.
Guys like us.
We're not going to get wet.
We might have to slap each other, but that's...
Probably have to order some food.
Yeah.
In all honesty.
What, Jerry? That's probably you have to order some food. Yeah. Oh, honestly. What?
What, Jerry?
I'm just thinking about just like going away for a couple of days and like I'm just look
disgusting.
I have back hair.
It's just a process.
Always going away.
Yeah.
You have to like.
Yeah.
Going away.
April 12th.
So you got some time.
That's all you got to do.
If you have this much time, like skip one one meal a day and do 10 push-ups.
Yeah.
It'll be good.
Where are you going?
Not even that.
It's just like, you know, I have no idea.
I mean, my girlfriend is, you know, she's a rocket, you know, and it's just.
What a problem to have.
No, it's just embarrassing when you go on the beach and, you know.
Oh, it's not, dude. Yeah, but Jerry, here's what I on the beach and, you know. Oh, it's not, dude.
Yeah, but Jerry, here's what I'll tell you.
You're funny.
Yeah, but that don't matter.
Oh, yeah, it does.
No, because I'm starting to assume.
Oh, that's why funny guys and people assume you're rich.
They assume you have a big dick.
And a big dick.
That is false.
Which one, the rich or the big dick?
Yeah, all right.
But it's like Prasit.
You understand?
The day before, she's got to take a little buzzer to my...
And it's not the grossest thing, but I have back patches on the back.
You want me to do it?
You want one of your boys to do it so she doesn't have to do that?
I'll shave your back.
I'll pop the pimples on your back, bro.
Whatever you need.
Add a part in the wheel to shave Jerry's back.
Yeah, add one of the...
Add one.
That's going to be...
No, if we have to shave your back, we'll shave your back today.
I'll go buy a shaver.
You go downstairs.
You get one right downstairs.
You want to just do it?
You want to just do it?
Let's just do it.
Let's just do it.
Is it lower back or upper?
No, no, take it off.
Take it off, TJ.
We're just going to shave his back.
All over.
That's fine.
That's not a problem, dude.
We could get through this shit in no...
Is it thick enough? Could we shave a logo into it, maybe? Yeah. So let's shave it today. It's all over. That's fine. That's not a problem, dude. We could get through this shit in no time. Is it thick enough?
Could we shave a logo into it maybe?
Yeah.
So let's shave it today.
I don't know about today, Dan.
Why?
I'm just embarrassed.
I don't know.
Embarrassed?
Dude, what are you talking about?
You got to stop being down on yourself.
You're a stud.
Marty shaved my back before.
Yeah, what did you use?
How long ago was that?
Do you have a razor here for his back?
We have to shave Jerry's back.
We can probably do Manscaped products.
Oh, yeah. Do we have Manscaped products upstairs? I assume we have to shave Jerry's back. We can probably do Manscaped products. Oh, yeah.
Do we have Manscaped products upstairs?
I assume we do.
It is beautiful.
All right, yeah.
Are we doing that if it lands on it?
No, no, we're going to do it regardless.
I don't think we're going to do that, Dan.
No, we're going to do it regardless.
We can put a smock on the front, so if you're worried about the front.
It's a waste because I'm going to have to do it today, and then I'm going to have to do it again before I go.
No, but then when your girlfriend does it, she's not like, eh.
She's like, oh, this looks.
You sure?
Yeah.
You're not messing with me, right?
No, I'm not.
We're going to shave your back today.
Why are you shaving your back today?
She's about to go away.
She's about to go away.
April 12th.
Why don't you do 20 push-ups real quick, too?
Shock the front, shave the back.
Yeah.
There's nothing better than the 20 push-ups before you go to the pool,
just to get that little pump.
A little shock.
Shock the pecs.
It doesn't scientifically make no sense.
You don't have to do no grooming before you go away or anything like that?
No, my body, I don't really have much body.
What about the chest or anything like that?
Nothing?
Wow.
Oh, Owen tweeted the picture last night of the autistic kid.
It literally is me.
I don't understand how that's not me.
I don't think I saw it. Yeah, I genuinely think someone edited the initial picture
because I got tagged in something and made it you.
That looks exactly like you.
It's like me to everything.
That's me.
That's me like probably six years ago.
He's your nipple ganger.
He has the exact nipples as you.
Same exact eyebrows.
The only thing that's not me, two things.
He has dark armpit hair, which I don't.
And also.
You got to dye your armpit hair to make it show up.
I had no gray hair.
So that could have been me five years ago.
That is me.
And it's very funny that it was just a kid.
He has your exact nipples.
I've never seen such a nipple ganger.
Nipple ganger.
That is me.
I had one time I was trying to shave my pubes.
And then you go too high.
And then you accidentally have to do the whole chest and stomach.
It was before vacation with my girlfriend's family.
So I was just bare chested the whole time.
I was getting made fun of by her paw.
Manscaped makes buzzards.
They make the buzzards. They're good too. 2 by her paw. Manscaped makes buzzards. They make the buzzards.
They're good too.
2.0, 3.0, lawnmowers,
we got a code for them online?
Yeah, I'm sure we can.
Should we shave Jerry's?
Look at that.
The people voted.
I'm getting the Manscaped.
Who's voting no?
What's wrong with you?
They must have just slipped.
They probably think you don't need it.
They're probably like,
oh, Jerry's back hair is fine. It's natural. It's not. What's wrong with you? It must have just slipped. They probably think you don't need it. They're probably like, oh, Jerry's back hair is like fine.
It's natural.
It's not.
What's wrong with that going to a beach or in Florida?
It's like Mediterranean.
The right side is so, it's like.
Offset eye?
Yeah.
Oh, we'll see.
We'll see.
And maybe you keep the front on if you don't want to show us.
Get him a smock for the front.
That's the problem too I have.
When I go away, I have like leg hair, have leg hair that I use with a buzzer.
You don't need to shave your leg hair, dude.
No, but look, when people see me on the beach, they're like, oh, he has leg hair, and then
it's just nothing on top.
There's no hair anywhere.
Strike me as a guy who also probably rocks a Speedo.
No.
Should.
Very European style.
Low, for sure, and tight, but not
a speedo. You mean high or low?
Or German? You keep it low.
High, high, high. Oh, gotcha. I thought you meant like you wear it low
so a little bit showing.
Just show a little neck. Alright, well let's spin the wheel
twice and then we're gonna shave Jerry.
I don't think we're gonna do that. No, we are. Why not?
We good. You look good.
People are gonna make fun of me.
Can we make an agreement?
Nobody makes fun of Jerry.
Not on the fucking Yak, dude.
That's not the type of show this is.
If you're in the chat making fun of Jerry, I will ban your ass so fast.
Also, I've admittedly, with the Coach Cahill thing and retiring him, which I did do, no big deal.
I had to get the hate up.
I've retired from hate for a while.
Yeah.
Nice.
Because it does seep into your everyday life when you're in that.
It's like when Roan is about to do a battle round.
Yes, exactly.
He starts looking at people and cutting them down.
I think that's a very healthy outlet if you just sort of bottle it up and pick your spots.
Right.
Like a Coach K or someone who sort of deserves it.
Right.
You just handle it.
You laugh, Dan, right?
And you're good for a while.
You want to laugh, right?
I am not going to laugh. Jolly. I'm going to shave it. None of laugh, Dan, right? Then you're good for a while. You want to laugh, right? I am not going to laugh.
Jolly.
I'm going to shave it.
None of us are going to laugh.
A razor is not going to work.
You have to do a buzzer.
Yeah, no, we have a buzzer.
That's the manscape stuff, is a buzzer.
It's just going to work.
It's going to come off so easily.
It's going to be lighter.
It'll be down in like two or three minutes.
You could wax.
Is it a towel we want to put down?
Oh, no.
Wax would hurt.
Wax would hurt.
Maybe a tarp?
Dude, I just shaved my lower back.
We could just vacuum it, right?
They vacuum here?
Yeah, we have like a 1950s vacuum.
Did you shave?
Like your back dimples?
My lower back, yeah.
Above my ass.
I'd never done it before in my life.
And I just shaved above my ass.
With a razor or no?
With a buzzer.
Shave Jerry.
It was nice, but it was like light, thin hair, but it was just enough.
Which one is that, Dan?
The Manscaped.
Which brand?
That.
Oh, nice.
That's perfect.
Oh, that's perfect.
We'll do a fade.
We'll do a 5 to a 1.
Are they selling that, Dan?
Yeah, why isn't this turning on?
Perfect thing to do after you shave your back over to Raising Cane's.
Dude, Raising Cane's.
Have you had Raising Cane's? I've never to Raisin Cane's. Dude, Raisin Cane's. Have you had Raisin Cane's?
I've never had Raisin Cane's.
It is so good.
They're going to open one in New York soon.
In Times Square.
Yep.
Biggest restaurant in Times Square, they're saying.
And the bread at Raisin Cane's is incredible.
Incredible.
That's what Hank kept saying.
What's so good about it?
It looked good, but, I mean, it must have tasted incredible.
It's like breadstick, but like roll bread.
It's like Texas toast, but it's got
butter on it. Oh, it's buttered and toasted?
Yes. So good.
Yeah, Big T says
Cane's is top two and not two.
I do think it's better than Chick-fil-A.
Yeah. And like people who are gonna
say, oh, Chick-fil-A,
I just assume they haven't had Raising Cane's.
Yeah, Raising Cane's has only one love.
Craveable chicken finger meals.
Order online at RaisingCanes.com.
That's the other thing.
It's got like four things on the menu.
I love places.
That's how you know it's good.
They have one thing.
They have one.
It's the Green Bay Power Suite.
Vince Lombardi.
Yeah, you don't need a bunch of BS on the menu.
Just get right down to it.
Some delicious chicken finger meals.
Raising Cane's.
Get the Raising Cane's.
About to plug that thing in.
Order online.
Yeah, you can order online.
Right at RaisingCanes.com.
And we're about to shave Jerry's back.
This is going to be good.
We're all going to feel way better after this.
Look at that. Two spins of the good. We're all going to feel way better after this. Look at that.
Spin to the wheel. We'll get wet.
Actually, so we need to make
sure that we shave his back before we get
wet if we come to that. True.
Good point. We don't want to get wet and
then try to shave the back. You know what I mean?
It won't work. Alright, so let's
spin the wheel and then we'll decide.
It's not going to get
us wet. It's just not going to do it.
No, it's not.
It wouldn't happen.
We've got to spin it twice.
Oh, God.
See, I told you, dude.
All right, there's one, and that was for Friday.
That was for Monday.
Monday.
And then this one is for today.
See, we were dry on Monday. That was correct.
And this one, once again, will
probably just no way it'll get us wet.
See?
Easy. See?
Easy. Might work.
All right, Jerry, let's do it. Oh, we gotta let it
charge. What else is going on
with everyone?
We're chilling. I want to get Jerry
ready for this vacation.
Me too.
I feel like you're a little bit,
a little bit down.
Yeah.
A little bit in the dumps.
Only for two days.
The vacay?
Yeah, I think three days.
Actually, three days.
Three days, but...
Extended.
Three nights.
Why not extend it?
Nah, I can't.
You've got to get that tan,
and once you get the tan,
you'll be looking better.
I also feel like just walking.
Maybe just like walking
on a treadmill uphill
or a little bit. You have access to a treadmill you have access to a treadmill look for these collapsible because
i don't have so much space in my mom's basement these collapsible treadmills what's so funny
it's just a funny statement it's true but you don't have i mean you know that's just funny a
guy just getting outbid uh you know every other month on a house that's funny no i didn't laugh jerry i didn't laugh no
not you i mean you know we're not all millionaires here you know they both are i actually i love that
you still live with your mom i just it's it is funny when you say it i mean yeah i mean listen
i mean it's more that like everyone assumes like bloggers your mom's basement it's like
yeah you are yeah your mom's basement no like's like, yeah, you are. Yeah.
Your mom's basement.
No, but I've been actively trying to get a house.
It's just.
Does she have a garage?
So where the basement is, when I moved back from Arizona, it was a garage.
And I turned it into a very big, like I have a living room, a bathroom,
washing machine, dryer, bedroom, podcast room.
So one of those rooms got to be able to take a treadmill. I have a living room, a bathroom, wash machine, dryer, bedroom, podcast room.
So one of those rooms has got to be able to take a treadmill?
Not really, dude.
Right.
I just walk.
I walk on the treadmill.
I feel like walking is all you need.
But I want a collapsible one to slide under my bed.
Could you walk more?
I just walk in place.
How do you get to the train station every day?
I drive.
How far is it?
It would probably be about an hour walk.
That's right on the free... But it's about to be nice out.
We're like two weeks from it actually being nice out.
You get off at a different...
You get off right here, right?
Yeah, I get off.
What I do is I'll get off at a different train.
I'll get off like three stops before I'm supposed to get off and walk.
Yeah.
A little added.
See, I don't know the train that well, too.
I mean, I'd have to walk from Secaucus to Penn Station, New York.
That'll be a couple hours.
A little road work.
You know, I'm not working anymore.
I'm not outside.
It's healthy to just be outside working, isn't it?
You want me to give you something to do every day?
Are your hands getting softer? Yeah. Want me to give you something to do every day? Are your hands getting softer?
Yeah.
You want me to give you something to do every day?
Yeah, like what?
I don't know.
I'll just bring in...
Some rebar.
Yeah, I could buy some bricks.
Want to buy some bricks?
And then move them every day?
Yeah, just move them back and forth.
And some cinder blocks.
That would actually be pretty funny every day.
Hey, Jerry, have you moved your bricks yet?
It's not a bad idea.
Or like the dudes outside that are... there's like a little bit of a, not a balcony, but
it's like scaffolding that dudes are working on every day outside.
What if you just slipped on an orange vest and just like, was like, hey, fellas, you
need like an extra set of hands on this?
What if every day you got to work and you built your desk from scratch and then at the
end of the day you took it apart?
Disassembled it?
You had to get there the next morning to build it again.
Can you buy cement blocks on Amazon?
I don't think you can.
Why not?
Getting bricks is harder
than you would think. You think so?
I don't know.
I got a six pack.
In June 2020 they were everywhere.
How many do you think you need?
I wouldn't get one. No, they were everywhere. Yeah, they were giving them out. How many do you think you need? I wouldn't get one.
Actually, no, they weren't buying anything.
They were just stacks.
They were just pallets.
Let's get this guy a pallet.
What about this?
Like this.
You like these?
What are they?
Cement blocks.
Those are nice.
Buy six of them.
And then just move them from one spot in the office to the next.
That's not a bad idea.
What do we got there, TJ?
Yeah, those.
Those are good. The six-piece right up there is good. Yeah, that's what I was going to get. That's not a bad idea. What do we got there, TJ? Yeah, those. Those are good. The six piece
right up there is good. Yeah, that's what I was going to get.
That's perfect. Those are like yoga blocks.
Can we get two of them?
And then you ever need to assault someone?
A little two-in-one. Can we get some
prop ones that we can punch through, too?
An all-purpose tool. Actually, those are probably the ones
that people chop through in karate class.
Those bricks.
Look at those nice-ass bricks.
Man.
That kid's going to be strong.
Wait, do you want me to get them?
It's $50, Dan.
No, no, no.
Every day you come in, and how about you have to move them from your desk to your desk,
but you have to go all the way around.
And carry all six at once?
Not a bad idea.
Farmers carry.
Farmers carry type stuff.
You're just walking around, bailing a day. I'm buying them. Six of them. Farmers carry type stuff. You're just walking around bailing an A.
I'm buying them.
Six of them, right?
Yeah, six.
You want me to get 12?
Go back real quick.
Go back because there was a different style.
Make sure they're real, though.
Make sure they're not artificial.
You can get a better deal.
Look, look, look at the thin ones.
Yeah, but the...
Oh, you're already trying to cheat?
No, Dan, I'm not trying to cheat.
I'm just saying.
They're definitely heavy.
Are those heavy? It's the size of a not trying to cheat. I'm just saying. They're definitely heavy. Are those heavy?
It's the size of a journal.
Look at the six bricks per pack.
Think about the Amazon delivery guy who has to deliver this.
He's probably jacked.
He should become like a cement Amazon delivery guy.
That's a little light, Dan.
You could get an ankle weight that's too big.
How much are the ones I'm getting?
Yeah, let's go back.
Maybe I was trying to cheat. Full Cindy? How much ones I'm getting? Yeah, let's go back. Maybe I was trying to cheat.
Full Cindy?
So how much is a full Cindy?
Yeah.
Let's go full Cindy.
I was trying to cheat a little bit.
Yeah, you were.
What are these?
They're three a brick.
Three pounds a brick, I think.
So you get...
Almost four pounds a brick.
So what do I get?
I'm going to get 12.
All right.
I'm going to get 12, and you've got to move them every day.
And you start drinking a bunch of milk.
Deal. Carrying around. Yeah, we put them on your desk, and you've got to move them every day. And you start drinking a bunch of milk. Deal.
Yeah, we put them on your desk.
And you've got to literally move them from your desk to your desk.
Yeah.
How old were you when you moved out, Dan?
After college.
Yeah, I'm not.
That wasn't a shame.
No, I know.
It's not a shame to you.
It's just it's more everyone says my mom's basement for bloggers.
Yeah.
And then.
Robbie's show is literally called that.
It's funny to say out loud.
Well, it feels more like home for me because, you know, I built it, you know.
Also, Jerry.
I did it.
We got to say, you're Italian.
Yeah.
Like, that's allowed.
Yeah.
Italians live at home forever.
But I also don't want to get it twisted.
Like, my mom, she doesn't cook for me.
I cook, you know?
I do my own laundry, you know?
I don't have it twisted.
I do not have it twisted.
You know, I do my own stuff.
The statement, though, every time you say that statement, though, I will laugh.
When you're like, oh, I want to do this, but I got to figure it out.
My mom's basement doesn't have enough room.
That's a funny sentence.
Yeah, I guess, yeah.
Plenty of people live at home, too.
Like, fucking, Glennie lives at, Frankie, fucking fucking people are stacking their cash dude there's no shame in
stacking cash what are you going to be financially irresponsible to satisfy somebody that you don't
know exactly wrong exactly that's when people are like when people like make fun of someone for not
getting enough sleep or like for like sleeping too much like oh it must be nice to sleep until
like eight o'clock or something it's like what am I going to get less sleep to satisfy you?
Brain needs that. Sometimes the wallet
needs a little bit of an infusion of cash.
I sure do.
You want the money?
No, no, no.
This is for you.
This is a present for you.
I want you to feel like you did something every day.
I might even do it with you.
It's healthy. It's good for the brain.
When I walk, though, if you see me walking down the hallway, are you like, oh, wow, Jerry's gaining weight?
No.
I just wanted to, I just was curious.
Plus, you can grow a great beard.
Like, if you can grow a great beard, you're allowed to gain, like, probably 20, 25 extra pounds.
The reason why I also know I'm on, like, a slippery slope here is because I haven't been like even my girlfriend
said yesterday hey babe like
why haven't you been getting haircuts you know what I mean
why did you stop all that you know I used to
get a haircut once a week now it's like once every
three weeks and it's like I don't care as much anymore
you know yeah we gotta find that
my boy Jerry's a little bit down yeah
nothing wrong with that also like I
you also have like a good
you got kind of like a bulldog body, which I mean in a good way.
Like, when I gain weight, it's all in my breasts and my face.
You carry it well.
Yeah, you have, like, a little.
I got thicker thighs.
Yeah, you got, like, a little.
Carry it in your ass.
What are you laughing about, Steven?
Just because you don't eat strawberries anymore, you're going to laugh at the Husky boys?
I thought it was funny banter.
Can I not?
I hope you...
Now I hope you all...
When you...
After you tear both your Achilles,
you fall...
You hope he balloons up?
No, I hope he falls
and also breaks his arm.
You just want the Tom Segarra basketball video
to happen to me.
Correct.
That would be funny, though.
It would be incredible.
It's an all-time video.
Having you just like... For content....completely incapacitated would be so funny.. It would be incredible. It's an all-time video. Having you just like...
For content.
Completely incapacitated would be so funny.
Wait, did you get to hear Steven's Dickie V voice?
No.
Do I want to?
Oh, I think you're going to like this.
Was it good?
Yes.
That was Caliendo level.
I'm going to close my eyes.
Close your eyes, because it works better when you close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
It transports you to watching some basketball in like 93.
All right.
Are you serious?
He's a PTP, a prime time player.
This kid is super scintillating, sensational.
See?
That's why we had room to let go of Molinaro.
Oh, man.
Jesus Christ.
Because we had another impressionist.
We had another impressionist on.
Oh, my God.
That was, I mean, I felt like I was there.
I did, too.
I felt like I was watching a basketball game.
I felt like I was watching St. John's in 1998.
It's probably my best impression.
Yes. Yeah. impression. Yes.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Definitely.
Of all your other ones that I've heard,
I think that that one takes the cake.
You got a new mic.
Yes, yes.
Thank you for shining a light on that.
Yeah, it turns out a little bitching
goes a long way for us fellas.
Squeaky wheels get the oil around here.
You think it's time?
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's shoot in the back. Sure, man. Yes. it's time? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.
Sure, man.
Yes.
People are laughing.
They're not going to. They're banning.
If people laugh, they're fucking dead.
You can also not clip this.
I'm going to just tweet out a picture of you fully clothed.
Give me a thumbs up.
This is just for promo.
Do we have a smock?
Do we have something we can wear around the front?
A towel?
A towel they put around your face so they don't see my chest and my...
Just so you're comfortable.
Wait, wait.
Go grab a t-shirt.
A t-shirt we could cut out the back.
I need a t-shirt and a scissors, yeah.
We could cut it out so your arms are still in.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Grab a t-shirt and a scissors.
We'll make it an extra special thing.
I got a t-shirt and a scissor in here.
Yeah, it's got to be a good-sized t-shirt, though, Dan.
A big one.
Yeah, fuck it.
I don't even care.
You know, if you say they're not going to laugh, I'm not going to laugh.
Oh, no, no.
We got you.
We got you.
I don't even care about that.
Let's not even put ourselves in that situation.
So let's make sure that we have a fail-safe so nobody's fucking around.
I just popped in the chat.
Everyone's saying that they're not going to laugh.
All right, good.
Let's go, Jerz.
It's a mixture Owen knows.
In Barstool Merch, it might be a 2X.
2X, Owen, maybe.
Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. But be a 2X. 2X, Owen, maybe. Maybe.
I don't know.
Maybe.
But potentially a 2X.
4X?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm in that.
That's even better.
Give it to me, Owen.
Give it to me, Owen.
Here.
You want to cut it out on him, or how are you going to cut it out?
Jerry, put it on.
Jerry, do you ever-
Jerry, go put it on.
All right.
Go put it on in the bathroom.
Yeah.
And then we'll cut it out. All right. We'll cut it out. And then I'll cut it out while it, do you ever... Jerry, go put it on. All right. Go put it on in the bathroom. Yeah. And then we'll cut it out.
All right.
We'll cut it out.
And then I'll cut it out while it's on you.
Wait.
Yeah, let's not use a box cutter, Owen.
Yeah, it's fine.
It's ceramic, though.
Oh, I don't know about that.
I don't know about that.
Ceramic box cutter?
What does that even mean?
I feel like I could still find a way to hurt myself badly with that.
What is this thing?
You probably poke the thing out the top.
Is there like something that you poke it out of the ceramic?
How do you get it to go down?
You are about to hurt yourself.
I know I am.
Weren't box cutters used on 9-11?
Yes, thank you, Steven.
That's what you were about to ask?
That's definitely what he was about to ask.
That was what I was going to say.
Yeah, we know.
Oh, yeah.
The ceramic box cutters just gentrified terrorism.
Where's KB and Nick?
They're in San Antonio for this Ryan Garcia fight that's going down on...
Emmanuel to go.
Emmanuel to go.
It's going down on DAZN this It's going down on the zone this weekend.
Hell yes.
Oh, here we go.
Yeah.
You look great, brother.
See, you're swimming in that medium.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're good.
As long as you keep the sleeves intact,
nobody's going to laugh.
Don't laugh!
Jerry, don't laugh
because then you're going to make other people laugh.
That's not fair.
That's not fair to everybody else,
all of us that are trying to, you know...
And it's not even hard to try to not laugh
because I was not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Close that door.
Close that door.
The glass door.
Perfect.
Put that, put that cardboard in front of the door.
Perfect.
Oh, this is like a hospital gown.
This is like a hospital gown.
You can get your hat.
Jerry, it is not that hairy.
What were you talking about?
You oversold it.
At the shirt.
I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing at the fact that the shirt is like a hospital gown.
I'm laughing at how you cut the shirt.
You cut it funny.
I'm laughing a bit at the hair because it's not long.
It's just dense.
And it's not even dense.
It's like a Rorschach.
I see a better future in there.
Do a wheel maybe for who shaves?
Anywhere in the world is using these Manfred t-shirts for this, for scrubs?
I think so.
I'm surprised.
This isn't enough hair where I would think you would need to shave for the beach.
Put it on the line or no?
All right, hold on. Let me take that. You that you look good i don't know what are you talking your your
lats are good you could probably do 10 pull-ups no problem that's a great picture because i got
his face too you got good ass lats dude dude you look good have you ever have you ever gotten
complimented on your lats your lats are nice yeah they are I wish my lats butterflied out like that. Bro, you got like a bulldog in the best way.
It's a good look.
You're going to be shining.
You're a bulldog than like me,
where I'm like a fucking,
I'm like SpongeBob SquarePants with tits.
Stand up.
No, you're not.
I am.
No, you're not.
Just a block on top and two pick legs.
Let's throw that towel on the ground right at your floor. That
gray one that's sitting there.
And we'll... So when the...
You don't mind, right?
I could tap in, too. I don't mind.
We can all tap in.
Whoever you need. We could popcorn this back
shave. Yeah, this is a teamwork. Teamwork makes
the dream work. And get both your heels on
it. Or set up the towel so both your heels
on it, but the camera can still see your back.
So we'll position you first, and then we'll get the towel underneath.
No fake, no fake.
That's what I'm saying.
You could go a one to a five.
Yeah, why don't you let him do something special with you?
Or how about a five to a one?
No, no, no.
Whatever you think.
Yeah, whatever you think will be good.
This is going to be.
Which way should I stand?
This way?
Make sure the camera can pick you up.
And Owen's eclipsing it a little bit.
See?
Get that shot right.
What do you mean?
Oh, it's still dead?
All right, sit down.
We got time.
We're yakking.
This is nice.
Sit down.
Plug it back in.
Oh, wait.
There's given a...
Yeah, what's going on with it? So it's popping up a little bit. Oh? This is nice. Sit down. Plug it back in. Oh, wait. There's given a... Yeah, what's going on with it?
So it's popping up a little bit.
Oh, this is nice.
It feels nice in your hand.
The man's... You think it's...
Is it not charging?
No, but it's got this little...
It looked like it was charging.
Is there something I did wrong?
Wait, what's this?
Oh, boxers.
You want some boxers?
It's definitely charging right now.
There's a light that's going on, and it's the charging sign, basically.
No laughing.
Oh, they got cologne?
Jerry, what type of cologne do you use?
Creed.
It smells so good when you put it on.
Yeah, it's called Creed.
Creed?
Yeah.
Like the band?
Creed Aventus. Hmm. Huh. It's a good one. Wait, on. Yeah, it's called Creed. Creed? Yeah. Like the band? Creed Aventus.
Hmm.
Huh.
It's a good one.
Wait, is Creed the name of the brand?
Or is it the name of the band?
The band?
The band, the brand, or is it the scent?
Creed Aventus is the brand.
Creed is the brand, but Creed Aventus.
Aventus.
Aventus is the scent.
For men, yeah.
Very nice.
What were you going to say?
You don't think what?
Well, I collect cologne.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
I'm in the market for a new one.
Ooh.
What's a good recommendation?
For you, a starter for you would be Versace. How much is that?
Versace Dylan Blue.
$445?
Yeah, it's very expensive.
I have a Tom Ford one that I really like.
Wood wood?
Skin leather?
It's like their signature scent.
The Noir?
I also have a bunch of bottles of Tom Ford Tuscan leather.
It smells like raw cocaine.
What?
Yeah.
Do you bring it in?
I can bring it in if you want, yeah.
Oh, I smell that.
It smells just like leather.
It's like a leather bag.
You're a music guy, Drake.
Tom Ford.
Huskin leather smelling like a brick.
Yes, yes, yes, of course.
It's made with coca leaves.
Huh?
Yeah.
Wow.
I only get bad cocaine, so mine always smells like drywall.
Yeah, mine smells.
Mine always smells like I'm about to poop myself.
Mine smells like chemicals.
Yeah.
For you, though, a starter would be Versace Dylan Blue.
Versace Dylan Blue. What about me?
I'm writing this down. Versace Dylan
Blue. One million. Paco Rabanne.
Really? Yeah. One million. Paco
Rabanne. How expensive is that?
That's not that expensive. Neither is the Versace
Dylan Blue. I gotta be honest.
If you get one of the... If you don't get Phoenix or Musk, one of the two known accents, nobody can tell.
You don't think so?
No, I get different ones.
What is it called?
One Million?
What?
She must be watching this show.
Who?
Yelling at me.
Why?
Girlfriend.
What's she saying?
She's got two missed calls.
You want to take it?
No.
You can go out in the hall and take it.
But we haven't.
I don't understand.
Because we've been nothing but positive.
Maybe she's reading the chat.
I don't know what they're saying in the chat.
Maybe there's other girls in the chat saying, like, oh, look at Jersey's body.
That might be why.
Is that the one million that I got to buy?
Paco Robon?
Yeah, one million.
What does it smell like?
Very, very good. Very, very good. You'll love it. I'm going to buy? Paco Roban? Yeah, one million. What does it smell like? Very, very good.
Very, very good.
You'll love it.
I'm going to buy it right now.
Go ahead.
I literally am going ahead.
What is it?
Amber, leather, and tangerine.
It's very good.
You can be a bad boy so long as you're a gentleman at all times.
Mid-level?
Yeah, like you said, that one's a starter.
What's a mid-level and what would be my, like if I was really running?
I got a,
I got a,
what's your grail?
What's that?
Like your goal,
your holy grail.
Like what's the one
you're working towards?
One you'd love to get
you haven't got yet.
Oh, none of them.
I've got a lot of them.
Is there anything
that you're like,
one day I'm going to get this?
No.
You got them all?
Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah, pretty much.
Because it depends, like summer you wear different. Yeah, pretty much. Because it depends.
Summer, you wear different scents.
Winter, you wear different scents.
What do you want?
More floral in the summertime?
You go by season?
Oh, you have to, yeah.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that either.
Because I only have a couple.
I have a nice Jimmy Choo as well.
So I'll give you a story.
Me and my girlfriend's first date.
We're on a date,
and she said, you know, after the date,
I was so wet from what we smelled like.
Are you serious?
Yeah, and guess what I was wearing?
What's that? Paco Rabanne.
Paco Rabanne.
Oh!
Well, maybe a round of Paco Rabanne for the boys then.
I might have to order a million myself.
Will you tell that story to your son when he's of age?
Mommy and Daddy, how'd you meet?
Yeah, probably.
Like Paco Rabanne.
I would have watched How I Met Your Mother if that was the premise of the show.
Let me tell you about this cologne called Paco Rabanne.
I'm going to give her a call right now.
All right.
What if she says we can't shave your back?
Don't ask.
Don't even ask.
Don't ask.
Don't bring up the back.
Hey, babe.
Don't bring up the back.
Maybe she won't answer.
Maybe that's even better.
Don't bring up the back.
Don't bring it up?
Don't bring it up.
Maybe bring it up lightly.
Ask about the Paco Rabanne.
Maybe just a little bit.
Bring it up.
The Paco Rabanne?
No, the back.
The back
Yeah
I must be dead to her
She's texting
But she can't answer a call
Maybe she doesn't want to talk in the
Yeah
Who knows
I believe the story though
Without her verifying
It would have been nice
To have her verify
Just kind of a little
Double authentication
Of the story
But at the same time
I believe
Something else that night
That's a story
If you wore something else
Exactly
Exactly
Exactly I can't wait to put it on Do you think You'll get wet at the same time. I believe. Something else that night. That's a story you... What if you wore something else that night? Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly.
I can't wait to put it on.
Do you think you'll get wet?
I never got wet before.
I'm wearing it.
I guess you consider pre-cum.
Pre-cum.
I was about to say,
pre-cum is just a guy getting wet.
Let me tell you this.
If I'm wearing Paco Rabanne and you smell me
and you get a little pre-cum,
I won't take offense to it.
It won't be anything
except for your olfactory senses going off.
Like I'm buying this, no one knows a chance
that you'll want to fuck me.
It just throws off the whole
Kinsey scale. Do you really get it? It smells good.
I just bought it. Awesome.
I just bought some cologne
and 12 cinder blocks.
It's a great job.
Duality of men.
That's really all you need.
That is manly as fuck.
Did you ever wear it on the job site?
Would you ever try and smell nice on the job site?
I wouldn't wear colognes that go to work.
Because the other guys would get too turned on?
No, just because you don't do that.
How about when you were going into the job site, would you wait and would you hold your shit?
Yeah, it's not that bad.
It's not bad at all.
You're way too hard on yourself.
Yeah?
Yes.
That's a normal back You think so
Well not
You said you have no
Course
Well yeah mine's actually not normal
Like I
I look like a fucking
Loser
Yeah
A baby's bottom
Yeah
Why is this not turning on
Would you save your shit
When you got to the job site
Would you shit in the morning
Before you went in
Or would you wait to poop
On company time
No I go to the bathroom Every morning as soon as I get up.
Really?
Yeah.
I know guys that'll wait until like right at 7 o'clock.
Like they'll like let it brew up and then at 7 o'clock the day starts and then you go
to the port-a-potty.
Yeah, exactly.
Those guys known on the site like, oh, look.
Yeah, Radio Russo.
Radio Russo used to do that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, but you're not going to shit on your own time.
You might as well shit on the company's time.
They're not going to pay you for the commute.
Exactly.
So you might as well shit on their time.
You just show up in the first half hour of work as a shit?
I think people do that.
I really think that people do that, especially if you have to be there at a hard time.
Why is this not working?
Yeah, you might need another one.
We might need to use those scissors.
Let's just do it like a...
Light trim?
Yeah, let's just do a light trim.
With what?
Scissors, yeah.
Oh, no!
Why not?
People cut hair with scissors.
There's got to be more Manscaped stuff here.
It doesn't make sense because look at it.
Doesn't that look like that's two-thirds of the way charged?
But this will be a good tutorial once we eventually get it on for everybody who's trying to use their Manscaped products at home.
Look at that.
It's sleek.
That's going to look sleek and modern on your countertop.
Doesn't have to get all the way up for it to be ready to go.
Not me.
Somebody push that.
Click it three times to Click it three times
Click it three times
Oh god here she is
Oh yeah here take this
Tell her that we're on air
Hey
We're on air
Tell her we're on air
Hey
Sorry I'm on the air right now
Oh shit okay
No it's okay
Big Cat was having a little bit of a problem
Believe in me
When we went on our first date, right?
Yes.
How good did I smell?
Very good.
Why?
And it was the one, what cologne was it?
Do you remember?
I think you were wearing either Creed or One Million.
Yep.
Love it.
One Million.
And you don't mind Big Cat shaving my back, right?
So you don't have to do it?
What? You don't mind Big Cat shaving my back, right? So you don't have to do it? What?
You don't mind Big Cat shaving my back, so you don't have to do it, right?
Big Cat shaves your back?
Yeah.
Why would he do that?
Well, you know.
Friends.
Help out.
Friends helping friends.
One hand washed the other.
It's actually Owen's going to shave your back.
He's going to shave your back right now?
Yeah.
All right.
I guess.
Fuck it.
Whatever.
Shave your back. There you go.
Oh, all right.
All right, I'll give you a call.
Okay.
She's cool with it.
Yeah, she sounds very nice.
She was hesitant because it's her back.
Jerry, don't take this the wrong way.
She sounds hot.
Well, you said she's a rocket.
Yeah, I think so.
She sounds hot.
I mean, to me.
You were in line.
No, of course.
You were not lying.
You were in line.
Of course.
Wait, what the?
I just had it on. One were in line. No, of course. You were not in line. Of course. Wait, what the? I just had it on.
One, two, three.
Yay!
Don't turn it off.
Don't turn it off.
Do a thing you have to do.
Stop it.
All right, Owen, let's go.
I mean, it does.
That's a magic wand.
It's orchestrated to fit.
The build of it is like it'll fit.
Oh, yeah.
Duke fan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach, Zach the Duke fan.
All right, Owen, make sure to go against the grain, my brother.
Make sure no nicks for my boys.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
Let's get it.
Let's get it.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let's get the mic.
Let's get the mic up there. Let's get the mic up there.
Let me get a mic closer.
I got you.
I need the audio.
Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, it's big time ASMR for the people.
Why?
What's the technique you're used to?
I'm used to it down. Sideways? Look's the technique you're used to?
Sideways?
You're thinking, look, all these people walk by, none of them have left.
Everyone's into this.
Great job.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's a great sheet.
Square over this.
Oh, that is some ASMR.
This is real nice.
Jerry, you're going to look great.
Owen, did you ever cut hair?
That's nice.
I did in college.
Make sure you get the shoulder.
Pull down a little bit so you get that extra.
Oh, wow.
You're hot.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're hot. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
These are pesky little guys over here.
Yeah, you've got to get the pesky guys.
Oh, Jerry, you must have shaved only a couple weeks ago.
When was the last time you shaved?
Because the hairs don't look that long.
Probably a little while, honestly.
Probably, I'd say.
I think I've only done it once or twice after Ruff and Rowdy.
Jerry, you look good.
You sure?
Yes.
Do a couple, maybe a little, maybe like one trip to the suntan, the tanner?
Yeah, tan and move.
Once you're down in Florida, as long as you get sun every day in Florida,
when you have a tan, it's like 10, 15 pounds.
Like you look skinnier when you're less pale.
Yeah.
Which is you, me, everybody.
100%.
Is this your ass cheek?
No, that's a love handle.
It's just a nice love handle.
Yeah, something to grab onto.
Take your time.
Oh, and don't rush, though, Owen.
That's good.
Take your time.
Oh, no.
Oh, look at that.
Dude, that looks good.
It's satisfying as fuck.
It's like one of those zen gardens that you rake.
Yeah, the Instagram accounts where they're like, if this doesn't relax you.
Yeah, then there's something wrong with you.
Yeah, see?
No one's laughing.
Everyone's being like, respect.
Respect.
A lot of respect to Jerry.
Make sure you get this area right here.
Get the tushy.
Get the tushy.
Rotate over.
The upper tushy.
No, no, you're good.
Oh, you're good.
It's the upper tushy.
That's nice.
Oh, yeah, right on the line.
Sounds great.
Very gentle bedside manner by Owen, too.
Owen is very...
Yeah, he's doing it well.
Not too much tummy, not too much tummy.
He can get his own tummy.
All right, Owen.
Owen's doing it for pleasure right now.
It's getting real fun.
I bet Owen would do your pubes if you tipped him out.
Remember on... Straight down will be good him out. Remember on...
Remember real life
I'm a bodybuilder? When the guy's
his dad
shaves his ass? He like shaves his
asshole or something like that.
You know what I'm talking about? Real life?
I think he might have been a Jersey guy.
True life? True life. I'm sorry. True life.
That was a good one.
Very nice.
Oh, nice. This is so much better than a, true life. That was a good one. Very nice. Oh, nice.
This is so much better than a regular buzzer.
Is it really?
Yeah.
It's better than the regular?
A lot, yeah.
That's that manscaped.
You've got to get the manscaped for all your manly needs.
This really is a great ad for me.
I'm going to reach out to them and see if I can get one.
Yeah, get a sponsor on Friends with Jerry.
Maybe you shave your back once a week on Friends with Jerry.
What are you looking at, Zah?
I was looking at something like...
The shit that Rowan's talking about.
Oh.
What shit?
The dad that shaved the true life stuff.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
That's a classic.
The guy shaves his...
Oh, yeah.
Remember this?
And his dad's just shaving his asshole.
And he was just roided out, right?
Yes.
He was just.
That's a hell of a dad.
Yeah.
I think his dad shaved his asshole.
But you know what?
As a father now, if you could just tell yourself, well, I once cleaned his asshole.
Yeah, you change a diaper, you could shave an asshole.
Right.
It's no different.
At all.
We should have done some kind of cool graphic for opening day
like they do in the outfield.
Yes.
We could probably do it by opening.
When's opening day?
Friday?
Yeah.
Well, it'll be back.
Yeah, we should have done like diamonds or something.
Or like a cross stitch or something like that.
Yeah.
Some kind of at least.
A big baseball.
You've got to grow this out for a while now.
Do you think Tebow's a back there guy?
Oh, Tebow's definitely a back there guy.
Of course he is.
Are you kidding me?
Look at him.
Tebow.
Let me see your back.
Tebow, let me see your back.
What's on your back?
Show me your back.
Yeah.
You got a hairy back? Oh, no. Surprise. Michelangelo's a wolf. Let's on your back? Show me your back. Yeah. You got a hairy back?
Oh, no. Surprise.
Michelangelo's a wolf. Let's see it.
Michelangelo's a wolf.
No.
See?
Oh, no. He's...
You got the lower back. Same as me.
Oh, you don't have it.
Oh, no.
That's like a rude call.
Yeah.
We got to find at least one person.
What?
That's got a hairy back?
I was going to Florida, but we got shaved.
Oh, he just shaved.
People already shave.
Who here has the hairiest back?
So I don't feel left out.
What?
Well, he just said he just shaved.
Doug's probably has a hairy back.
He just said he shaved right before Florida.
Patsy.
Patsy.
Big F maybe? Big F might have a hairy back. I don't he shaved right before Florida. Patchy, patchy. Big Ev maybe?
Big Ev might have
a hairy back.
I don't know.
I don't think he does.
I don't think he does.
Let's see an update.
I want to see an update.
Oh, that is looking great.
Oh my God.
Now your girlfriend
doesn't have to do it.
Exactly.
Oh, nice.
Now a little bit more time
for you.
A little you time for you guys Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Don't be afraid to get
Oh yeah
Down the crack a little bit
Just tickle the crack
Upper crack right there
Oh
Yeah that feels good right
This one's gonna be so fun
Yeah
I wanna see it Go to I want to see it.
Go to it.
I want to see it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck yes.
Oh, yeah.
Look at that.
See ya.
Mowing a lawn.
Like mowing a fresh lawn.
Yeah.
This is like an infomercial.
God damn, that's satisfying.
That really is.
Bam.
Bam. Bam.
Clean lines.
Jerry, my good man, you are ready for Florida.
People are gawking, but no one is laughing.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Dude, look.
You can see your muscles.
You've got striations in your back.
Look at that muscle right down the middle.
I think most people are like, damn, can I get my back done up?
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
Not now. Wait, that had to be
a full charge. No, no, press it three times.
Maybe we'll leave it.
We're back. We're back. We gotta finish the job.
Finish the job. No half
measures on this show.
I need my boy, Sean. My boy
is like a fucking sheep.
You wanna do your pubes next?
I don't got that much.
Jerry.
They probably.
Jerry actually would.
They got the crop preserver.
Just hold his balls while we do this.
Yeah, as long as you hold your balls, just show a little.
We could get cleavage of a woman on here.
We can get cleavage of a man.
Tomorrow, are you here, Ronan?
Yes, sir.
We're going to miss it for the world.
We have a little bit of an issue tomorrow.
What's that?
Well, it's Tank Thursday, and it's also opening day.
It's pretty much the perfect storm.
And at least Scherzer's pitching, right?
Oh, no, he's not?
Scherzer's not.
Dang.
Did we just get enough hot dogs?
Yeah, I was about to say.
We can't talk.
Well, we were about to have some kind of hot dog eating contest.
Oh, we could. Weren't we going to do a hot dog eating contest?
Didn't you say that you could eat like some preposterous amount?
And we also have never seen the most that Frank has eaten.
Yes.
Because we've only seen Frank be conservative with his hot dog intake,
one or two at once.
Frank, I really think Owen would win that.
So let's do it tomorrow.
I'll buy the dogs.
So we're going to try and do eight each.
Okay.
Eight each tomorrow.
Normal, not like the super plump ones.
No, we'll get the papaya dogs.
Papaya dogs, just standard raw dogs.
Very good.
Really good.
All right, eight each tomorrow.
First one to win gets.
Oh, is it a speed or just finish?
Is it like a marathon?
It's a sprint.
It's a contest. Actually, it should just be
we should do an exact hour of
the yak and whoever is finished the most at the end
of the hour. Oh, so
we can go beyond it. Yeah, I think that's
better because I don't want to do like a
Joey Chestnut. That makes no sense.
And it's more like you're at the ball game.
You're kind of taking your time eating a dog.
And Ronan and I will be the commentators.
Maybe we have a side hot dog or two.
Yeah, maybe a side dog for the boys.
But nothing too crazy.
All right, and I'm allowing you to get off the TB12 diet for this day.
That's very fair.
And Owen's in.
If anybody else is off, you want in.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I mean, we can have as many as you want.
Why don't we just all fit and see how many we can all put down in there?
Well, someone's got to talk.
Yeah.
Ronan and I will talk while you guys do the dollars.
We'll commentate and you guys nosh.
Right.
It'll be a great competition.
Maybe, you know what?
I'm just going to say it right now.
$100 cash prize.
Wow.
Yes.
You know what?
I'll match.
I'll match.
$200 cash prize.
$200. I'll match. $200 cash prize. $200.
I'll match.
Wow.
At least I could do.
Cash, too.
Cold, hard cash.
Cash.
Not Venmo.
Not a check.
Nope.
Not an IOU.
Not something to be paid out in Bitcoin 20 years from now.
Cold, hard cash in your hand.
Cold, hard cash.
We done?
Yeah, but he's just going to have like a hat.
What?
What's wrong?
Let's pull back the sides a little bit
Where does back hair stop?
Well, he can get the front
Give me a spin
Oh, yeah, you look good
You look really good
Maybe clean up that side where you got a little extra
Just dust it off
Yeah, a little dust
Blow on it?
Yeah, blow on his back
Maybe a hot towel
Boom
We're done.
Very, very nice, Harry.
All right.
The Yak is back.
All right.
So tomorrow, hot dog eating competition.
Do you want to participate, Jerry?
I'm on a diet.
$200 cash.
$200 cash could buy you a lot in Florida.
$200 goes a long way.
Tax free.
We'll just come on anyway then and we'll talk.
Yeah, you can talk with us.
You can help us.
You just talk.
And maybe have a side dog.
Yeah. All right. Perfect. I'll order them right You just talk. And maybe have a side dog. Yeah.
All right.
Perfect.
I'll order them right now so they're ready to get here by like 1230.
I'll get like 50.
Just in case someone wants to be a hero.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
How many do you think you can eat, Owen?
He said a lot.
So, TJ, we'll have to have graphics too.
Hot dog counter?
Yeah.
Hot dog counter? Yeah.
A counter or something like that. Maybe we could put me and Roan in the mainframe,
and then the three of them, wherever they sit.
Can you do that?
I can figure it out.
The way they do Nathan's is they have a physical person that flips numbers.
We could do that if you eat one with a number in front of you,
and then you flip the number or something.
Yeah.
You'd have to get the numbers somewhere, though.
I'm saying, like saying for the actual viewers,
if the sidebar has all three of them.
Yeah, okay, heads and then the number next to it.
Yeah, but the main screen is Rowan and Big Catch is talking.
Okay, great.
I'm excited.
The first ever Yak hot dog eating competition.
Oh, yeah, move over.
Yeah, that's going to be incredible.
$200 cash prize.
What's the strategy?
I'll match as well
No, you can't, you're in it
You can't just give yourself money
Are you going to fast beforehand?
Are you going to try to expand your belly with water or something like that?
Get in the right mindset
You can cheat on your diet starting now
If you want to get yourself prepared
Fuck, I didn't think about that
Expanding the stomach
I'm just going to drink a ton of water Yeah, get yourself prepared Is that, I didn't think about that. Yeah, get yourself prepared. Expanding the stomach.
Okay.
I'm just going to drink a ton of water.
Yeah, get yourself prepared.
Is that going to work, though?
That might make you full. I'm going to eat some bread for dinner tonight.
You can have bread.
You just can't put stuff on it, really.
Well, then put some stuff on it.
Get yourself prepared.
I don't want you getting a tummy ache.
Oh, I'm going to get a big tummy ache after.
Not tonight.
All right.
Love it.
All right.
See you everyone tomorrow.
Thanks, Jared. Yeah, it See you tomorrow. Thanks, Jer.
Yeah, it was good.
Good job, Jer. It's the act. It's the act.
Got a dinosaur shop to do a Yankee pop.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the back.
See you tomorrow.