The Yak - It's Wedding Season and the Barstool Interns are Partying | The Yak 6-10-24
Episode Date: June 10, 2024Sneaky BeastYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up.
Hello, it's the Yak.
Promo code Yak.
Roback.com.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
I'm wearing a Roback polo right now.
I look very preppy.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, Roback.com.
Promo code Yak.
20% off your first purchase first purchase yeah was it a golf
outing today that i did not play golf at whoa it already so you were at out just outside i was
outside yeah yeah yeah i was outside um it was great it was great smoke no i did not like a cigar
are you reading this prep sheet because it really is uh welcome and yeah no i uh by the way brandon
is out uh for a few days tightest set on mostly sports uh he will be back when he's back and uh
i would say everyone he'll he'll give more news whenever he can but everyone just lay off brandon
please uh not one of those joking ones so he will be back when he's back.
No, it was, so it was a pause golf outing, which is awesome.
Pause as in like gay?
Pause Chicago.
Zah, you were on your toes back there, huh?
So it was, but the golf didn't start until 1130
and I'm going on vacation starting wednesday so
i didn't want to miss all the yak all week so i didn't golf but one jerry uh there was dogs around
and there was this beautiful little pit bull named ruffles oh and jerry facetimed his girlfriend and
his uh kid and now he's just he Has to get the dog you can't show a
Puppy to your kid it's crazy
He's like he was taking these calls
And like we were at lunch
He was just like I gotta go we have a tea
Time in five minutes like and we were all just
Screaming in the background like it's not for another hour
And he's like we just got so much
Going on right now I can't get this dog
It's like dude you got nothing you literally do nothing right now. I can't get this dog. It's like, dude, you got nothing.
You literally do nothing.
You're fine.
So, but yeah, it was a good time.
But yeah, Steven on the prep sheet did golf related questions. And it sounds like the 40-year-old version asking what his favorite part of boobs are.
Why?
All those things happen.
What is the best part about playing 18 with your friends?
Hitting one awesome shot, hot dog or sandwich at the turn, cigars,
drinking, peeing in the woods.
I mean, all right, would you rather go sober for the whole 18
and hit one eagle or no eagle drink?
No eagle drink.
Eagle.
I think that would be special.
I want the eagle.
I've never had an eagle.
I want the eagle.
Would you rather have the eagle on the first or 18th hole?
18th.
Seventh.
Okay.
Yeah, seventh.
Think of the hope you have if you hit an eagle on your first.
That would kickstart things. It's all downhill from there. Yes, it is. Yeah. Seventh. Think of the hope you have if you hit an eagle on your first. That would kickstart things.
It's all downhill from there.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, so I was in Saratoga on Friday and Saturday.
Lost a lot of money.
Dave lost a lot of money.
But I did get a napkin.
A little soup.
Ooh.
And let's see.
Please.
Jay's face just now.
Please. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a comforter. Oh. A couple's see. Please. Jay's face just now. Please.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's a comforter.
Oh.
Oh.
Jay, would you like to come see?
Sure.
I don't think it's, fuck.
Oh, my God.
I think I did it to myself again.
No.
I don't even want to do this.
What if you saw Jesus' face on it?
What would you do, realistically?
Sell it for a lot of money.
But would it change your belief systems and values?
No.
Okay.
Same height.
Wait, it's taller.
It was taller.
Taller.
Uh-oh.
Jay, it's taller.
Taller.
Uh-oh.
That is taller.
Oh, man.
Open it up.
Hold it.
Come on.
Oh. Oh. It's bigger. It might be bigger. Oh, man. Open it up. Hold it. Come on.
It's bigger.
It might be bigger.
It's bigger.
It's bigger.
Is it bigger?
Oh, he's saying hold.
He's nervous.
It's bigger.
It might be bigger.
Holy shit.
We got to take it off.
All right. He's got to take it off.
We got to take it off.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
What a find.
Wow.
I'd love to end you.
Put it right in the middle.
This is a Saratoga napkin?
Saratoga, yeah.
I thought you were a big loser at the horse show.
No, I could be the biggest winner.
Oh, my God.
This is thrilling.
What other show will have two napkins?
Two big napkins? Two big napkins
My god
Okay
You need to go get a
A tape measure
Yeah
Oh my god
One of them is really wrinkled
That's his
Holy shit.
No, wait.
Is it actually from there?
No.
No?
Did you order it online?
No, Gino gave it to me.
Gino.
Oh, okay.
But I just need this moment.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I lost so much money at Saratoga.
Yeah.
I saw Che doing the napkin thing at the Red Stars game too
promo video
that looked like fun
everybody
everybody could not get enough of
how's KB?
oh yeah
how'd it go?
it was solid yeah
KB walked up to me and goes you got any questions for me? yeah I love when you ask me questions Oh, yeah. How'd it go? It was solid, yeah.
KB walked up to me and goes,
you got any questions for me?
Yeah, I love when you ask me questions.
Okay.
Like, just not about my life,
just, like, fact questions. Okay.
Wait, where was the wedding?
Lake Norman, North Carolina.
Okay.
Outside of Charlotte.
How was the, what airport did you fly into?
Charlotte. Not a great airport. Wait, no,otte sure it's got the rocking chairs rocking chairs rocking chairs
charlotte just seen a rocking chair i don't i guess i don't really judge airports it's just
like in and oh what you st louis airport pu as long as i get through TSA quick, then it's a fine airport. Okay.
How was your speech?
The speech, what's the opposite of a tough crowd?
An easy crowd? An empty crowd?
Luke, why don't you answer that?
Easy crowd.
It was a very easy crowd.
I was very nervous, and then I introduced myself, and the place erupted.
Killbox.
I was like, oh, it's a rapping tin.
Everything I said.
A rapping tin.
I was like, all right.
I was pumped about my jokes.
And then I even said something that was,
I said juxtaposition in like a serious manner.
Place erupted.
I was like, they're just laughing at everything.
Love that.
Leaving some earthquakes.
Yeah.
You ready?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
He's not feeling great about this.
Oh, man.
What do we got?
Say it out loud.
Toga napkin.
This is the Saratoga napkin.
A sporting event confirmed.
17 clean.
17 clean.
A clean 17.
Yep.
That's some groomer shit.
16 and a half clean?
Dirty 16.
Okay.
If only there was a way to measure that.
You're scoring at home.
Whoa, you didn't do that with my napkin.
That's true, you didn't.
I was stretching it out. I stretched it out.
You stretched it out.
Okay.
16 and three quarters.
16 and three quarters.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
Notice he didn't say clean.
16 and two thirds. 16 and two-thirds.
16 and two-thirds.
Well, you have to get it exact.
Yeah, you do have to get it exact.
The whole point of having a tape measure is getting it exact.
Yeah, there's...
But what was the other one?
You said a tick under 16 and a half.
Get the exact amount and press it out.
And we will actually do the calculations.
And then you said two-thirds of the question mark. we will actually do the calculations.
And then you said two-thirds of the question mark.
TJ, pull up the calculator.
Okay.
17 clean.
17 clean.
So just 17?
It's 17 clean.
Or 17 and one wrong. 17 inches times.
Oh, man. I can't wait to see. This is the real result. This the line. Times. Oh, man.
I can't wait to see.
This is the real result.
This is crazy.
Yeah, 16 and a half.
16 and a half?
Wow.
Okay.
All right, 17 times 16 and a half.
Wait, that's how we're doing this?
Is that not how you do it?
One small.
Yeah.
One small.
280 and a half.
Let me see this.
Oh.
Right here.
Right next to it.
Wait.
No, no, no.
Okay.
Where's the half?
No, it's more than 16 and a half.
That's more than 16 and a half.
That's a tick over 16 and a half. That's not 16 and a half. He did say dirty 16. That's more than 16 and a half. That's more than 16 and a half. That's a tick over 16 and a half.
He did say dirty 16.
That's more than 16 and a half.
Okay, we'll go 16 and a half, but you don't know how to read a tick measure.
Wait, this is going to destroy the big dick allegations, too, if you don't know how to measure.
Okay, so what do we have, the number?
It's 280 and a half.
Volume? Area?
Area.
What's volume?
I think height factored in.
You know, Mook, you're smart.
You're low-key smart.
Volume is for three-dimensional things.
Very dumb.
You missed a Mook trivia on Friday.
Oh, no.
16 and a half and two rungs?
16 and a half and two rungs.
I don't know how to read this.
It's very apparent.
Like 16.7.
What are the rungs?
How many rungs are in between each inch?
Probably 16.
That's too much.
So this would be 16 and 10 sixteenths.
Yeah, 5 eighths.
Okay, wait.
So what was the second one?
16 and 5 eighths by 16 and 5 eighths?
That was a perfect square?
16 and 5 eighths.
16 and 5 eighths.
So this one's the new biggest.
It's the new biggest?
Yeah.
Are you bummed?
Oh!
Are you bummed?
Wow.
It's disappointing for sure.
I thought we'd see more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Disappointing for sure.
Just one.
So what do we do with the small napkin?
Throw it out.
Rip it up.
Trumble that to bits.
I think we've got to leave it up as like a sign.
Like, don't come in here with a shitty napkin.
I think we have to destroy it.
Yeah.
Che, you have to destroy it.
Or burn it.
Light it on fire.
Go to the kitchen and set it on fire.
Flush it down the toilet.
I can't have him do that.
I might clog the toilet.
I might clog the toilet.
That's a big napkin.
All right, all right.
Toilet won't be able to handle that much paper.
That was pretty funny.
Take it down.
It's not from Saratoga.
I can't do that to you.
Oh, where's it from?
It's from a hotel.
Oh.
I can't do that to you.
I got the moment where you said you were disappointed.
That's all I needed.
Oh, that backfired.
Shit.
I did.
I measured it at Wrigley.
Not close.
Oh, man.
All right.
The search continues.
I can't do that to him.
But fuck.
That disappointment was real.
He was as real as could get i did see a couple at the olive bar yesterday and i took a picture of him and i was getting ready to send it to all i still
have it on my phone for proof but i was going to send it to you guys and then right before i hit
send i said i just took a picture of two strangers at an olive bar.
That's what he does to you, man.
Dude, I was looking for a glass. And then I just sat there and stared at the wall for about five minutes.
Yeah, no, I've done worse.
I've literally stood behind an olive bar waiting for someone to come up for like 10 minutes doing nothing.
I think of any coworker I think about Che the most off the clock he lives rent free oh my god yes yeah he makes me want to like eat pussy
even though i hate it yeah yeah just see if you could best them yeah all right so back to the
wedding so you crushed it yeah it was was there like gasps did you get gas no it was it was like
it was funny so can you give us like the context of one of the goofs?
He had a phase where he would love to dress up as girls.
Oh, got him.
Wait a minute.
Got him.
How old was he?
When he was like 12 or 13.
We had a gay phase.
Everybody was buying Barbies in our school and dressing like girls.
I remember we were all humping each other like ironic being ironically like dressing like women when you
had dressed down days everybody had the britney spears barbie with like the leather jumpsuit
yeah uh so you went you hammered him for that uh-huh did you bring up his uh his vices
no no no why was he uh Was he a big vice guy?
Everyone in the book.
He's a fiend, yeah.
Oh.
No, no.
Damn.
It was solid.
Did you get a high from the crowd?
Were you like, oh, I feel it right now, like I'm killing?
It was more of like a relief because I was in panic mode
because I was like, I don't know, this might be too jokey.
Yeah.
You don't want to be that guy.
Did you have an impulse to take a risk because the crowd was eating out of the palm of your hand?
Were you like, I should just go for it?
I thought maybe I might make this joke, but I don't know how that's going to be.
Oh, fuck it, I'm going to go for it now.
His dad being a pedophile joke.
Yeah.
There you go.
How many people came up after saying, great job?
I marked everyone down.
Okay, nice.
The people who didn't.
Because that's all it's about is the people afterwards being like great speech.
It was my night.
Right.
Did your girlfriend laugh or did you see her with arms crossed looking?
She probably was cracking up.
You should have proposed to your girlfriend at the end.
No, that's what you should have.
Stole the entire wedding.
That would have rocked.
Just bowed and then proposed.
Why bow?
Why not?
Like make it like a theatrical bow.
Did you bow?
Yeah, I bowed.
You did bow?
Show me the bow.
Was it like a Broadway bow or was it like a Japanese bow?
People wanted a bow.
Did you do like a?
Yes, yes, yes.
You did?
Yeah, it was a tremendous.
Show me the bow.
Stand up and show us the bow.
How did you do compared to the maid of honor too?
No, no, stand up.
I want to clap.
I didn't bow.
I'm lying.
Yes, I'm lying about everything
Did it suck? It sucked
It was horrible
Oh no
Did you go after the maid of honor?
Yeah so she was probably like real deep
In her feels about everything
That's usually a cheat code to just crush
Yeah she did like a you know
Typical one. Too long though?
Hers was short so I Panicked she did like a typical one. Too long though? No, hers was too short.
Hers was short, so I panicked.
She was like, mine's two minutes.
I was like, I think mine was like five or six.
Then I looked up tips on Reddit, and they're like, keep it short.
Two to three.
Don't go joke heavy.
So I was like panicking, like frozen nervous.
I can't, but it worked. Did you read off your phone? Yeah a little bit you gotta go from the heart no that's how you fuck up no but that's also how everyone
like that cocky guy was like yeah but everyone always is like when you go from the heart you
just get you get judged on a completely different bar yeah especially if other people have sheets
and stuff you just go up and rip it but But you're really going to be good at that.
Yeah, you forget stuff.
When you're nervous, you can't be well-spoken from the heart.
Oh, I always do it from the heart because then everyone's like, wow.
I write it out.
Yeah.
And then I'll take notes.
From the heart.
And then I'll just be like, and if you really want to be it,
you just do the.
No, I made sure to like.
I'm not even going to use my notes.
Yeah, and everyone's like, oh, my God.
You really felt that crush it
you guys have all been best men?
yeah
I've given speeches where I wasn't a best man
like where it was multiple speeches
there's a couple
weddings I've been to where it just became open mic night
that sucks
that sucks
that was my brother's wedding. I was best
man. And then I was third best man at
another wedding. That's not best man.
No, yeah. I was the backup
in case the other two couldn't make it. Yeah, I was like
fifth at my boys. I've never been.
I only remember horrific
ones. Yeah, I
witnessed the worst of all time.
The only way it's horrific is if it's
long.
Too long and not...
I saw one that wasn't too long.
It just didn't...
It was like my good friend from college
and his childhood friend gave the speech
and the whole speech was just about
my good friend's parents
and playing at his house when he was a kid.
And it was like,
you gotta mention the bride, dude.
Gotta.
And he just didn't. And it was like, what got to mention the bride, dude. Got to. And he just didn't.
And it was like, what is this?
I was at one where the guy giving the speech
just talked about him and his brothers
and never mentioned the bride or the groom.
He was talking about his own childhood
and everybody was like, what?
Yeah.
And then others where my family has a two-minute span
where if you go past that,
they all just start getting up and going to the bar.
Oh, I love that.
They are just blatant about it they don't give a shit
I love that yeah
the coolest wedding I've ever been to the
father of the bride gave a shout out to the shareholders
oh
that's great I was like god
damn this is my other move is if you
get put in the back I love to just
like during dinner just
hit the glass and give a little shh
and then everyone and then everyone's looking around like what but no one the glass and give a little shh and then everyone and then everyone's
looking around like what but no one's ready to give a speech it's great you just have full
yeah we're sending uh mostly sports we're sending connor griffin and liam blutman to a wedding on
friday in north dakota what they are road tripping to the road trip i think it's in fargo
yeah for whose wedding as a uh people we did like opening
day thing where people sent a shit and we got sent a couple wedding invitations and then connor
mentioned he had never been to a wedding so we're like well you you now have to go um what a couple
connor and liam yeah and then liam liam was in the room at the time and he made a like a red
wedding joke because connor's face was red and he had red hair and then I was like
well you're also a redhead so now you have to go with him
do you think Liam will be a distraction
at the wedding
yes
90% of the people are like who is that
what the fuck is the person
they might not even say who
he's just going to sit in the corner and watch tennis
what is
that entity there's always one to sit in the corner and watch tennis. What is that entity?
But there's always one of those at the wedding.
There's like the cousin of the cousin.
One wild card who's in jeans and a flannel.
In like a t-shirt suit.
Yeah, or even if they try to dress appropriately,
it's like a purple button down.
It's still off.
And you're just like, what is going on here?
Like their finest purple button down it's still off like their finest purple button down it's always purple and it
always has the stiffest collar i've ever seen it's either purple or mustard yellow
shockingly accurate yeah it's just like what what oh no that's the cousin of the cause like
some cousin's uh husband or boyfriend it's and they're eating so many hors d'oeuvres. All the hors d'oeuvres.
I cannot wait to see how this goes.
I picked up the yak mail right before the show
and we actually got invited.
Shout out Kiana and Dan.
Oh, nice.
They invited the whole yak to their wedding.
Really?
Where is it?
Wisconsin.
Okay.
I might go.
Should we head up there?
Might have to just show up.
I'd go to a wedding with you guys.
It'd be fun.
I'll go.
There's a shuttle.
Yeah?
So we don't have to worry about driving.
From Chicago?
No, I wish.
From the holidays.
There's a shuttle from our office?
We could drive to the Holiday Inn and park.
Yeah, there's a shuttle.
I hope I didn't just show their address on here.
No, you're fine. Okay. Everyone shout out Canada.
Anyway, I think we should go.
I'll go. Just show up.
Make an appearance. shake some hands.
I'm excited to see how these boys do at their first wedding.
I asked Connor what to expect.
He said, I am going to fuck every bridesmaid silly.
He said that.
Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah.
He's like, other than that, I'm open for anything, but I want to fuck every bridesmaid silly.
He said he's going to long dick style fast and hard,
which takes accuracy and patience.
Wait, so they've never been to a wedding?
Never been to a wedding, yeah.
That was my understanding.
That's shocking.
Is Liam going to slick his hair back?
Ponytail?
A real low pony.
But also, they're road tripping
and Connor's driving, and Connor famously does not listen to music
when he drives.
Yeah.
I don't know how far he's driving.
I heard that.
So they're going to do 12 hours of silence.
Oh my God.
Anyway.
That's brutal.
Can we rent the car they're taking?
I want to take a Volkswagen Bug.
Where are you guys in your wedding?
Are you sick of them yet because that's
that's like the arc where it's like liam and connor have never been invited so they're very
excited and then you get to that late 20s early 30s where you're like you have those two summers
where it's i have six weddings and then you're like i'm done with this yeah and now i'm not
there the bulk of my friends are like late bloomers with girls.
Because then it becomes exciting again where it's like the last couple are like, ooh, this
is fun.
I'm doing about one a year right now and it's awesome.
Yeah.
I like doing one a summer.
I'm at one a year.
My last friend got married last year and it was like the funnest wedding because we hadn't
been to one in a long time.
I can see that.
I have none this summer.
I'm going to go to theirs.
Yeah.
I think everybody should. When it let me check but like when there's like back-to-back weekends
yeah then you get bachelor parties would you rather right now in your life do a bachelor
party or a wedding oh it's at a wild wood retreat i'd rather do a wedding probably a wedding
definitely a wedding bachelor parties are too hard i a wedding. Bachelor parties are... Too hard.
I remember when I went to my last one in Miami,
I was sitting waiting for my flight,
and some 27-year-old came up to me,
who was a stoolie,
and he was going on his first ever,
and it was like two ships,
because I was sitting there just dreading every moment.
It's been like,
when you get older and you go on a bachelor party,
you're anxious about the hangover even before you've had a oh yeah what's like this is gonna set me back
and then i accidentally like overdosed everyone on mushrooms the first day so that was fun
yeah i just went through my first wave of like my friends getting married and i'm the first two were like very nice very fun the third
a little more like i kinda i flew in for this not my favorite not that fun who was that
uh my doctor friend it was a lot of his doctor friends emory friends yes but you were yeah
because you can tell right away if you're the shithead friend i was the shithead yeah where
you're like lumped in together in a in a table far in the back they're like my my past life is here as well
i was i wish it wasn't i was sitting at a table with my high school history teacher
oh that is you shouldn't have gone to the wedding who we smoked weed with our senior week. But he's like an oddball.
It was just a very...
Yeah, yeah.
You didn't have to say that.
Smoking with my students.
Like, that's kind of weird.
You're smoking weed with a bunch of 17-year-olds.
Not a normal guy.
He came to our senior week house.
Oh, dude.
Oh, dude.
Hold on a second.
You did a senior week where?
To the beach?
Wildwood, New Jersey.
And he came?
It was me and like 12 of my best friends.
This guy, he was like a legend in our high school.
But that's never a good thing.
Not a cool guy.
How much older is he?
50.
Oh, no.
He came to your senior week.
Are you just realizing this is weird now that you're saying it out loud?
When I saw him at the wedding, I was like, this is the weirdest shit i've ever been a part yeah but like the the he
went did he stay over no okay so he came we got extremely high in our senior week house and then
we wanted to go to the beach right after and our front door stopped working at the senior week
house so we had to go through a window.
Wait, it got stuck shut?
Yeah, it was like day four.
Front door was not open. That'll happen if you party hard.
We broke the door.
Door's stuck.
Door's stuck.
And we had to go through the window.
This man was a pretty big man.
And he got stuck in the window for 20 minutes.
That's the most pathetic thing that can happen to a man.
This is the legend.
The legend was stuck in the window.
The legend was stuck in the window.
50-year-old fat ass smoking weed with biggest stupid girls.
How do you explain that to anyone?
I'm trying to right now.
When you were in high school, were you guys like, this is so crazy.
It's funny that he's here.
Or were you all like, I guess he's's here it was a little bit of both yeah okay it was like uh he's actually here
right now how did this guy not feel awkward yeah what well because he's a i'm assuming a bad guy
no he's a great guy no it's a great guy. I love him. He's retired now.
I've seen this every year.
We're in the suite at Saratoga.
Every year.
And there was a kid there who went to Wisconsin,
and he invited me to his frat for the Alabama-Wisconsin game.
And he was a nice kid.
I appreciate it.
But just getting the invite made me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah.
If I just rolled up to a frat it was like i'm here to bring yeah for the alabama wisconsin yeah but that that and then multiply that by years 25 years of this and also like
you could under like i have no i'm not his teacher yeah yeah no power down yeah right he just listens
to the shows we do and again he was a
nice kid but it was just like i i can't do that your teacher's single right he's oh yeah yeah
yeah obviously okay yeah the the theme with him is like he's looking for friends this teacher yeah
no we know yeah yeah yeah yeah and the good thing is he gets new ones every every year
he's retired yeah he's retired now so what you got him out the good thing is he gets new ones every year. He's retired.
Yeah.
He's retired now.
So, wait, you got him out the window and then he just drove home?
And then he went to the beach with us, didn't take his shirt off,
neither did I.
And then that's when it kind of got weird because we were all, like,
really high and we were, like, in the water and he was, like,
at the beach by himself and we were just like, yeah,, this is... We got to get him out of here.
And then he drove home after the beach.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's...
Yeah.
And then you saw him at a wedding.
Yes.
Did he do it the next year, too?
Oh, yeah.
It's a tradition.
They need to throw the book at this man.
That makes it so much worse.
You said that it makes it better.
Yeah.
I thought...
The story was he thought this would be a good idea, and then he's stuck in a window and he's like what the fuck was i thinking
why yeah why did i come visit i need to see howard yeah like the end of that story should be like and
then he uh lost like 100 pounds became powerless yeah and like cleaned up his life and found and
found a different job we had to apologize profusely.
You guys went back. That guy, he's actually David Goggins.
That's who he is now.
We had to like Jimmy rig him through a window.
Yeah, and you got him dislodged after 20 minutes.
He's like, let's take a dip.
Shirts on.
He wanted to keep going.
So like day one of like the school year, he's like, if you guys play your cards right, I'll
smoke with you.
It'll be your house.
Pretty much, yeah. Wow yeah did he bring the weed we smoked him up did he he didn't offer
to buy beer he did not we already had beer okay yeah was he drinking no that's almost no it was
like a let's get high with him type of day. What did you bring to the table?
Nothing really.
Once the blunt started going around, it was like a very awkward situation.
Yeah.
That's what it took?
Not your teacher knocking on your window?
We were like fired up.
We were like, this is going to be sick.
Being high around your teacher?
It got really weird.
Horrendous.
Wildwood says skeevy where all the kids go to see your weekends.
Oh, yeah.
I'd rather be drunk than high with my teacher.
Yeah.
It was like day four or two, so the place was a wreck.
Yeah.
And what was your banter like?
You're still like-
Minimal banter.
Minimal banter.
Because we were like, oh, this is actually happening.
There's not much to talk about.
I would have left.
I would have left.
I would have had to leave.
I think kids stay in the water longer, so they didn't have to- Yeah, I would have left I would have left yeah I had to leave I think kids stay in the
water longer so they didn't have to yeah I would have left I wouldn't be able to if you're high
it's like that trip we took Kate when we went to the Super Bowl and Larry the bus driver yeah
and we got so high that one day and I came down to the lobby and he was just staying there he's
like so where are we going to dinner and I was like oh I forgot something in my room yeah never
came back yeah yeah I was just like I can't do this. Yeah.
I cannot do this.
Interesting.
Wow.
What a story.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So then what was the wedding like?
Oh, the wedding, I love my boy.
I Irish pretty early.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I said my hellos, went to the reception, cocktail hour, dinner, speeches, a little dancing.
Yeah, you got to do a little dancing.
That's like six hours you just described.
Yeah, it was like five to like 11.
But there was an after party.
I was like, I can't do all this.
I don't know if it's like this everywhere, but like specifically Northeast weddings too,
when you're in the thick of wedding season in your early 20s and you're like going off,
they're like all the same after a while.
They're all the same songs the same
like set up like same hotel
same whatever like it's the
same exact group of people I was gonna say especially
if it's the same group then it really
comes like groundhogs it's like oh we're all circling up
to do that one dance again yeah I was
stag though at this I was solo whoa
I didn't have a crew oh
yeah like pretty so that's like I had like
friends that I went to high school with
That I was like
Hey how are you doing
I would never go to that
I did it
Yeah
Yeah
It was also Mother's Day weekend
Was killing two birds
At a funeral
It was a packed weekend
I've skipped weddings
For way less
Oh yeah
Mother's Day weekend
Killing two birds
At a funeral
That's three birds
Three birds
One stone
Holy shit
Yeah
Damn
Knocked out Did you roll Mother's Day wedding I did Wedding birds at a funeral that's three birds three birds one stone holy shit yeah yeah knocked out
roll mother's day wedding i did uh wedding mother's day viewing funeral wow oh yep it's
all of the weekend i'll skip a wedding if i've never met one at like the bride of the groom it's
like i don't really want to do this the first time that's fair wedding did you find once you
started to become famous did you find like all of a sudden you were getting a lot more wedding invites from people on the outskirts or no people?
No, because it kind of lined up with like all the weddings were like early 30s, late 20s.
And now you just get randoms.
Yeah, we've talked about going to a random one and recording a part of my tape, but I don't think that would.
That's an idea that sounds fun.
You get there and you're so uncomfortable.
What the fuck?
I think Glennie Balls has gone to a few.
Yeah, I'm trying to be better at not agreeing to things
that I don't want to do.
Yeah, I heard you yelling at Max, like,
Max, I need to stop doing things.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, tell me when to stop doing things.
It was one of those days where I did a million things
and then he was like, hey, we have to do this and get to pick a date. And I was like, what? Yeah. Like, tell me when to stop doing it. It was one of those days where I did a million things, and then he was like, hey, we have to do this,
and, like, get to pick a date.
And I was like, what?
Yeah.
If it's something that's more than two months away,
I say yes at 100%.
Exactly.
It's a problem.
Yeah.
Beer games.
Then it comes.
So that's...
I was meaning to ask you about that.
Yeah, where are we at with that?
I asked Will.
I think it's DEFCON Red.
What's the highest level?
Seven.
Seven?
I asked Will to come on the act today, and he said no.
Really?
Yeah, I think they're going through it.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
And I've been consistent.
I don't want to go, but I'm going to go because I'm a good friend of Will.
So I'm going to post and do interviews.
Yeah.
Who am I talking to will me
all right joey avery i'll get my questions ready yeah he'll be there
and the worst part is i i think now with all the dropouts like i think pft and i have a real shot
at winning this you gotta try to win it's like my whole plan was when it was first pitch it was
like all right great there's gonna look at the list of people.
We're going to do some interviews the day before, get some work done.
We'll show up.
We'll get bounced by some offensive linemen.
We'll have a good time.
And now it's like, am I going to win this?
You think Will wants my history teacher?
He'll probably just show up.
We were watching the game last night on a live stream, and Max was like, thank God I'm not in it.
And I was like, dude, don't say that.
There's a good chance you're going to.
He will be in it, yeah.
And then 10 minutes later, Will said, can Max play?
No joke.
So no linemen are even playing?
I think there's a couple linemen still.
For now.
Any singers?
I don't think so.
Musicians?
I think everything's did jelly roll
drop i think jelly rolls i think the chandler mcgregor fight which is like like they were
gonna stay for that is maybe not on oh my it's like not even just beer olympics like everything
around it oh man that's awful yeah but i'm not canceling but i'm thinking about. But I'm not canceling. But I'm thinking about it. But I'm not. It's all consuming.
The relief I'd have.
Do we have like an updated roster?
Like do we know like who is actually in?
Can you find it, TJ?
They still have.
It's a house rented, right?
No, we're at a hotel.
Oh, okay.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Boys are going through it.
And I feel bad for them
But at the same time I don't
Because I was sold something that's very different
Than what it's become
But again I'm not gonna
I'm gonna spend basically every
Waking hour from now until it happens
Thinking about dropping out
But I'll never drop out
Which sucks
Because I really wish I had just dropped out like three months ago before it became cool.
You're locked.
Yeah.
So everyone's dreading it.
Yeah, I'd say so.
They got time to figure it out, though.
How many months out is it?
It's two weeks.
Oh.
It's two weeks from tomorrow.
Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. it's two weeks from tomorrow oh shit yeah yeah yeah i mean i'd rather drink with my boys and do that with my boys and random football players i don't know yeah i mean i love there's some people
obviously there that i do love like biz is going i love will i like Taylor. I'll be there.
Nick, Jerry.
But if only there was somewhere where we could all hang out.
Jerry might compete.
They might have to make Jerry fall off the wagon.
That's how bad it's become.
They might just be like, we're going to do Jerry and Max Crosby as a team.
The views.
Yeah.
I don't know if we have an updated list.
Have they posted this, which is all the cancellations?
Oh, yeah, that's all the cancellations.
Oh, that's tough.
Let's see if I can find.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, the Kelsey brothers,
they are doing an event where they are getting people together
to drink beer on camera as well.
The beer bowl?
Yes.
What day are they doing that?
They're doing a beer bowl.
That's what I've heard.
I'm actually going to be there.
Really?
That week, yeah.
In Sea Isle, right?
Wait, what day is it?
The 25th, I think.
The exact same day?
I'm pretty sure.
That's going to be sick.
Big Cat, you should go to that.
I can't.
I have a prior engagement that I've agreed to that I will not.
I will not.
Why is Will ducking?
He doesn't want to talk this out?
I think they're just going through it.
I do feel bad because it sucks that this has become what it's become,
but I also feel like they could easily just reschedule it and save face but
we're gonna just go for we're gonna press forward keep pressing forward something good will come
out of this yeah all right maybe listen once i'm in there we'll have fun but just getting me to
there is gonna be treacherous yeah kelsey's are hosting a beer bowl in Sea Isle
on June 26th. There was a
time and place not too long
ago where I'm pretty
sure Will was like, there's like
a 20% chance Taylor Swift's
going to come to the beer.
Okay.
So Will and Taylor,
Chris Long and Quentin Nelson
Oh they'll win
Moves and Zubies
Moves of course
Dennis Kelly and Don't Know Ruse
Those are offensive linemen
Avery and Bakhtiari offensive linemen
Avery's a comedian
He was on the show
Yeah
Lynch and Maroon Hockey
Steve Will Do It and Tim Bounceback
Tim Bounceback
Zlain Dino Glasgow Glasgow Graham Glasgow's great
dude offensive lineman Channing Crowder and and Delaney Walker Pat Bev who I don't think he knows
he's involved in this and Roan me and PFT biz and Yandel Yandel's out so that's Dana beers
all right oh they could um you got moves? Blandino.
Dean Blandino.
Ref.
Sounds familiar.
Oh, a referee.
Yes.
A rules guy.
He's the New York guy.
A policy guy.
We're going to go to New York.
At what point are you offended?
Oh, I've been offended.
I'm glad you said it.
Oh, we can get you in right now.
Let's get him in.
No, it's okay.
It feels like you've got a full roster.
Do we have room for Titus?
It feels like you have a full roster and everything's good.
We have room for Titus.
I get you in this.
Yeah, Will, every video that Will puts out is like,
we can literally find nobody.
We can find nobody.
Please, nobody.
I think he said, if you know somebody, please reach out.
Dan Hurley is staying at UConn.
Oh.
Oh.
That's not surprising at all.
Can I get Dan Hurley's turn down?
Please credit Billy Hot Takes.
Please credit Woj.
Audio crack.
Good job, Woj.
Billy texted us on Saturday and said he saw the –
don't get salty on Woj here.
What did he – he broke the news that the guy is going to keep his job.
He went out.
I have a scoop.
I have a scoop.
Nick Turaney will continue to do the yak.
I have something to say.
Oh, show.
Billy texted us on, let's see, it was Saturday.
He texted me and Hank and PFT.
And he said, let's find this.
It's very funny because he was very, he said, I just saw Dan Hurley and his family at Shutter's
Hotel at Venice Beach in LA.
He's taking the Lakers job.
I said, are you taking the job?
And his sons put their fingers to their mouths.
I think it's official. And then Billy said, also, I told him I wouldn't tell anybody,
so keep me anonymous, LOL.
By the time I read the text, Billy had tweeted Dan Hurley to the Lakers,
please credit Billy Hot Takes.
I didn't know he did tweet.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He was replying to everyone, please credit me.
So now I don't know what the credit.
Is there like an opposite of credit?
Yeah.
Yeah, what do you do?
Blame?
Is that what that word would be?
I'm happy for college basketball.
Yeah, it's awesome.
So people, when that came out people were like uh
fuck that what do you mean so wouldn't that be like the natural progression like a championship
college coach goes to the los angeles lakers and that makes sense yes but i think the
nba basketball's changed so much now where it's like
i don't know, Titus.
Coaches get chewed up and spit out in the NBA to where –
Faster than ever.
Yeah, I think there is a belief like you have a chance to be a god at UConn.
You're already coaching in one of the best programs in the country.
You already –
Right.
You just won back-to-back national titles.
Why – the people that were like against the move were like,
why would you throw that away to get fired in like three years?
And now he gets the bonus of he got more money because the Lakers wanted him.
And he gets to tell every recruit, I turned on the Lakers for you.
Wow.
That was the right move.
Yeah.
Huge.
But it's also not new.
This is a very like this happened.
This happens all the time in college basketball.
Coach K like flirted with the lakers
multiple times didn't uh jay right jay right like billy donovan took a job for one day billy donovan
yeah magic before you yeah so like college coaches always flirt with the nba because they'll offer
more money but at this point the nba like you if you don't win right away the stars on the team are
like it's your fault yeah that's a nightmare so is it jj reddick's job now
i think so so shams shams wins wins wow wow after all that huh but he didn't though
because he was reporting that he was basically a done deal and then it was very clear the lakers
first choice was danny hurley was that clear, though? I think it was.
Okay.
I think they wanted Danny Hurley.
I don't know.
Well done by Woj.
Good for college basketball.
Another master class from Woj.
I was going to be sad if we lost him to the NBA.
I would have been sad, too, yeah.
Like, he's a dying breed of coaches in college basketball.
Which is, that's the sentiment I had when Woj reported that this was happening.
I said, damn, that sucks.
And then now Woj is reporting it's not happening.
And nothing changed.
He took a meeting.
Well done from Woj.
He went shh to Billy in L.A.
We were joking.
There's a chance that they just were Asking Billy to stop talking to him
Oh yeah
Just shat away from me
Like please we're having lunch
Just go
Please go away
Yeah tough break for Billy
Scoop game's tough
That's why I never get in the scoop game
But if you had a scoop that was juicy as fuck
It's hard.
And it didn't hit?
No.
It's hard.
It would drive me insane if I were, like, wrong.
It's hard to not want to dabble.
It's hard when you get a scoop to, like, just sit there and not.
Every second that passes, it's do anything.
Later.
It's later to break.
I think the correct move if you get a scoop is to pretend
like you're predicting it and then get credit that way and then you don't get any right you
can play both sides on that way you can't you don't report it and say give me credit you just
say i have a feeling danny hurley would go it's gonna look at the lakers job who's their graphics
guy that graphic is crazy that was made in snapchat oh man graphic is crazy. That was made in Snapchat.
Oh, man.
No, I think it was made on Instagram Reels.
He needs to be punished for this.
Yeah.
You can't just do this.
That's what I'm saying.
Wait, can you?
No, there is no repercussion.
Yeah, yes, you can.
Not only can you do this, you have to do this.
This is what, yeah. I mean, he literally shushed him how do you not run
with that he got shushed i'm surprised like sexy women aren't the ones like getting the scoop it
seems like that would be something they should overtake like mutants like whoever's doing it
james is good looking uh i hate that he's good looking. I don't know. It pisses me off.
When he's on with,
who's,
Kay Adams?
Kay Adams, yeah.
I like looking at that screen
when they're both up there.
I'm going to text Billy
and ask what happened.
I'm going to say,
Billy, what happened?
I thought we had a shush.
Nah,
he can pivot from this.
He just says there was
a material change.
In the 11th hour,
there was a change.
Yeah.
Back door deal.
Yeah.
Yeah, the material change.
What was that kid?
Remember that kid who did the Kawhi stuff?
Oh, yeah.
Just like material change. Material change over and over.
The last second.
We got to watch that bull that escaped the rodeo.
Oh, what? What? Oh. I saw that. Good vid. Oh, let's watch that bull that escaped the rodeo Oh what?
Good vid
Let's watch that
I think the best part is the song
Are we doing a gauntlet today for Omaha Steaks?
Donnie's not here
Donnie's not here
He said he was here
Oh he's golfing
So we can still do it and just have Omaha Steaks tomorrow?
Something to look forward to
Yeah
Do the
Do the
House of Dragon read Nick
And then we'll
Watch this full
Fuck yeah
I know I didn't realize
It was back
Neither did I
Good promotion by them
Feels too soon
I'm pumped
No it feels too late
I don't know
I feel like
It came out like last summer
But I guess it was
Two summers ago
Yeah I don't know
You know what
Feels like it's just right.
That's right.
You might be right.
I'm glad they're advertising.
You guys are right.
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Dude, I cannot wait until Sunday.
And I will be, I know what I'm doing this week.
I am re-watching Season 1.
There we go.
Cannot wait.
Good program. Thrill. I'm doing this week. I am re-watching season one. There we go. Cannot wait. Good program.
Thrilled.
I'm very excited for it.
I need to watch it all.
Run it back.
Yeah, run it back.
For sure.
Get myself pumped.
Get myself ready.
Have you re-watched Game of Thrones all the way through?
No.
Nor will I, knowing the ending.
Yep.
I won't ever watch it again.
Oh, really?
I mean, I think it's still enjoyable I still like every time I've watched it back
twice already
I still don't have time either
I committed so much of my life to it
just for it to stab me in the back man
I get it but
Steven do you watch shows
you don't watch shows
yeah
watched the bear recently Chicago themed I think it's on the west loop right Steven do you watch shows? You don't watch shows Yeah Watched The Bear recently
Oh
Chicago themed
I think it's on the West Loop right?
Like kind of
Not West Loop
Like River
It's like Chicago and Orleans
Okay
Yeah I watch shows
But seldomly
Especially during sports season
That's also coming back
The Bear
Yeah they're filming it right now.
You can see Jaw outside of Rudy's window.
Jaw.
Who?
His white tee.
Jeremy Allen White.
Oh.
I didn't know.
That's who we're calling him?
Jaw.
Jaw.
That's badass.
Yeah.
Since when?
Did Rudy start that?
Or has he always been Jaw?
Did you start that?
I probably did. That's something I would start
you started Jha? credit to you
big credit to you it's incredible thank you
so how awesome was the
guitar guy? oh yeah
I can't believe he came
major FOMO
what a moment
just such a good I was saying
to Nick I love people who are just so
genuinely like as soon as the cameras was off he was still the phantom he just is that guy Just such a good, I was saying to Nick, like, I love people who are just so genuinely, like,
as soon as the cameras was off, he was still the Phantom.
Like, he just is that guy.
And he just is a nice, awesome dude.
So how did you get him?
You just hit him up?
I remembered whoever, who picked him?
Which one of you guys?
I think I brought him in.
Was it you?
I think, yes.
I think it was Kyle.
Yeah, it was.
It was Kyle.
Yeah, it was Kyle.
Whoever had him that day. Yeah, I called him the phantom we saw that he was going
on tour and so after the show i looked it up and i was like oh he's coming to chicago and like a
few days ago i actually remembered or like last week like oh my god that might be coming up soon
and i looked i'm like it's this friday that he's here so i hit him up never heard of barstool
didn't know who any of us were at all no no context for anything, and was like, yeah, I'll swing by,
and just came in and was awesome.
You might need him at Dude Fest.
He is a dude.
Yeah.
He totally got it, too.
He's like, I'll just be super quick in and out, no need for me to hang around.
He's like, I'll bust in the Kool-Aid man and be gone.
He was awesome.
Yeah.
Someone deemed him the ghoul of rock.
Oh, that's pretty good.
I like that.
DudeFest might have a little hiccup
because I think I'm going to blow the whole budget on a flyover.
Yeah, a flyover has to be in the millions, right?
Yeah, I think the first DudeFest is still going to be inside,
so the flyover will be inside.
You should still do the flyover.
Or just get the DudeFest next to an airport.
Oh.
Or there's a recruiting shortage of dudes in the military right now.
What if it's sponsored by the military?
And they just, you get all sorts of flyovers, all sorts of like,
we can bring in the military working dogs and everybody gets to watch them bite stuff.
The problem is this idea, while a good idea, came from a woman.
Okay, that's fair.
That's fair.
I actually had a conversation with Lisa because she's live event Lisa's starting the planning of it.
And she's like, I know you said no women.
Are we like strict?
And I was like, yeah, I guess you can't really deny women.
For Dude Fest?
Yeah.
We're strict.
We're strict.
We're strict.
But that's why...
We're strict.
The fact that she's asking that question is why women are...
Yeah.
They're always trying to get in on our shit.
But I will say if there's a Chick Fest, I'll be first in line.
I'll go to Chick Fest.
Of course.
I would be a Chick.
Yeah, I'm going to Chick Fest.
We actually could probably sell more tickets if we just say it's Chickfest and it just became Dudefest.
All Chickfests are Dudefests.
Yeah, I want the ratio to be zero.
Yeah.
But you're right.
If dudes find out that there's a gathering of chicks somewhere, they will overrun it.
Yeah, right.
It'll become Dudefest.
Nowhere in the world can there be just a couple of chicks somewhere, they will overrun it. Yeah, right. It'll become dude fest. Nowhere in the world can there be, like,
just a couple hundred chicks by themselves.
No.
Because the nudes will find that.
There's never been a large gathering of attractive women.
The dudes will find their way.
The dudes have gotten into yoga.
Yeah.
They've intruded everything.
Yeah.
There's nothing left.
Candle making.
All that shit that women like.
Yoga and candle making.
I don't really have any other.
I think that's the two. No, that's all we do.
That's it.
Big two.
Soul cycle.
That's the big two of women hobbies.
Candle making and yoga.
Candle making and yoga.
I can't think of one other thing.
Nagging.
Dudes have infiltrated sucking dick.
Everywhere you turn.
And we've stopped.
Yeah, it's more of a dude thing now.
It's more of a dude thing.
God forbid.
Oh, man. Do we have this video of the bowl?
What, um...
Where are we we Texas? Oregon
Oregon
Oh this song always
Is playing
And everybody's so excited
Oh my god into the crowd
Fuck yes
Oh
Oh
Oh shit Oh my god Fuck yes. Oh. Watch out. Oh. Dead.
Oh, shit.
Dead.
Oh, my God.
Look at all the angles we have.
Holy.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
It's multi-cam.
No deaths, so we can.
No deaths.
We can go.
Dude, play that again.
Way better than expected.
That was incredible.
Uh-huh.
That woman, she looked up and saw it and just didn't move you to give a fuck
What a first job imagine that being your first rodeo. Yeah, yeah
Crazy, she's not even going that fast when he jumps over
The guy doesn't put his beard down.
He chases after her with his beard.
How did she not get his beard?
Good point by Che.
Probably shouldn't wear red to a rodeo.
Oh, never wear red to a rodeo.
That's so true.
She went right after him.
He went right after red.
No deaths?
No deaths.
She must have been very hurt, though.
That was a woman? I don't even know if it's very.
I think that was a woman.
I think that was a woman.
That's internal bleeding. That fucking bull rocks. That was a woman? I don't even know if it's very. I think that was a woman. I think that was a woman, yeah. That's internal bleeding.
That fucking bull rocks.
Dude, she got flipped like eight times.
I always root for the bull.
People getting hit by bulls, the spill is, what a visual.
What an all-time visual.
Flipping around like a pinwheel.
Is this another angle, TJ?
What's he going to do?
I got to go get my bull.
Yeah, how do you corral that thing after?
Again, the bull didn't have a running start.
It just kind of loped up and then went over, and it makes you think.
Strong as fuck.
They could probably do that a lot more often if they put their minds to it.
Yeah, let's make sure that no bulls see that video
yeah once they get into this exactly a real problem they're gonna be uprising yeah and they'd like
doing they'd love doing that right they love mauling people and yeah it's like a it's like a
toddler like when your toddler realizes they can get out of their crib it's like that's it's over
it's over that one day where like my daughter is more than big and strong enough to get out of their crib, it's like, it's over. It's over. That one day where, like, my daughter is more than big and strong enough
to get out of her crib right now.
It's just a matter of when she figures out,
when it clicks, where she's like,
oh, I can get out of this.
Yeah, have bulls become sentient?
Oh, man.
Bison maulings have gone way up in national parks.
Well, those people are asking.
Yeah, the most recent mauling was a guy,
he went up and kicked its leg.
Yeah.
I root for the animal every time.
Every time.
You have.
Every time.
That's the scenario.
Pull over.
I got to kick this giant beast's leg.
He just kicked its leg?
Kicked its leg.
We checked the video.
It's Big Cat.
If you're a fellas family, watch this.
I can beat this thing's ass.
Well, I mean, if that bull had tried to start with me,
we all know what would have happened.
You got to be a sick fuck to go running with the bulls.
They still do that?
Oh yeah.
That's a pure adrenaline chase, right?
You're just going there just to feel something.
Yeah, I want to do it bad.
I do too. I feel like if you're in the front,
there's no way a bull's getting you.
No, because it's like the wheel.
It's not going to be me.
And people just kind of dive into bars and stuff, right?
Yeah.
They flee into homes.
Do people, what's the death count on that?
Can you guess?
Does somebody die every year, or is that kind of rare?
I feel like it's always in American dies.
Yeah.
Bullfighting is super inhumane, right?
Don't they stab at a bunch?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yuck.
Can we watch it one more time? Yeah. I want to watch it one more time. bunch yeah yeah when they kill a bull today like eat like make steaks and like
eat it or I don't know yes I don't think just hello, and he held his beer. He held his beer.
What was he going to do?
Hey, Bull.
Is anyone going up? Oh, here he goes.
Wait, he's out in the parking lot?
I didn't see the cowboy.
Wait, I didn't see the cowboy.
There he is.
There he is.
Where'd he go?
He's in the parking lot.
There's a cowboy on the horse.
Dude, that cowboy came out of nowhere.
With a lasso.
With a lasso?
Yeah, look.
Ray. Look at him.. With a lasso. Yeah, look. Ray.
Look at him.
He's ready to go.
Yeah, he's got the lasso.
Yeah.
And then the event didn't stop.
They continued.
That's awesome.
They just kept going.
What are all those guys running after the bowl?
It's their goal.
Yeah, we know it was him.
That must be him.
I feel like if I was there on a date, though,
and my date didn't run after the bull, I would get the echo.
I feel like as a man, you have to.
You've got to chase the bull.
Sorry, guys.
All the guys participating in the rodeo are kind of frauds
if they don't go after it.
That's the whole point of the rodeo.
If you're wearing a cowboy hat.
It's a more applicable time to use your skills yeah that you're putting on display for
everybody then yeah this is your chance to be a first responder yeah you're calling you've been
waiting for this moment it's also like following a fight like i want to see someone get yeah i
would just fall i'd be like the the the somewhere around like the 15th guy to follow yeah yeah where it's like there's still enough people in between me and the bull
you don't want to be the first guy running after the bull no makes you wonder what life was like
growing up like a thousand years ago where the no floors just get no floors no floors
poles get loose like crazy yeah yeah or like yeah fucking shit up just fucking the whole town up
I feel like that would happen
in every town
there was like one kid
who got kicked by a horse
when they were like four
and they can't speak
like oh yeah
that kid over there
got kicked by a horse
kind of fucked up in the head
that was a trope
yeah that was
yeah
he's really into yo-yoing.
Yeah, the one kid in town that got kicked by a horse.
Was there a point in American history where, like,
the stray wild dogs were going around biting kids?
I think that's still happening.
I feel like there's...
Did you see...
I don't know if you guys saw this,
but foxes, I guess, are trying to become domesticated.
They want to become domesticated?
Oh, I know a guy with a fox. Yeah, they want to become domesticated? Yes. Oh, I know a guy with a fox.
Yeah, they want to become domesticated, and that's essentially what happened with dogs,
but they've, because we've overrun so many forests.
Yeah.
There was some, I got to try to find it.
There was some woman who had a, yeah, this one.
This one.
Watch this.
This fox comes every day to get food, and then look at this.
Oh, no. They look at this. Oh.
They all showed up.
Oh, this would be awesome.
Yeah, and they're pretty cute.
They are.
They're really cute.
That's too many.
Yeah, it reminds me of Jurassic Park 2 when they're on that little beach
and the cute little dino shows up and they're like, oh, that's cute.
And then like 10 of them.
Foxes are currently trying to become domesticated.
They're trying to take on.
One to three or two.
Cat dog like behaviors, hoping humans will take on burden of feeding.
Why would you ever believe a fox?
Would she get community noted?
Yes.
They're traded.
They're the most wily there are.
Yeah.
Let's trust these foxes.
Oh, this is so.
So she's not wrong.
It's just a warning.
Oh, she is wrong.
Yeah. Yeah. She's also the last person in the world to have a. They don, she is wrong. Yeah.
She's also the last person in the world to have a mess.
They don't want to be domesticated.
They just want the food that you're getting out for free.
That's what they want.
Wait, wait.
Go back to that person.
How terrible do we think this inside joke is?
I'm David Ruffin and these are the temptations.
Has anyone laughed at that joke truly humble under god i'm david ruffin i like the thug i like the thug thug bio
truly humble under god that was the inside joke that was never funny
that's a long ass name too that's poop that is poop you're right when you guys pee in the urinals
does it ricochet back onto your leg i piss more down my pant leg but like getting bad from piss
shrapnel more than yeah it goes in the urinal echo piss i think that's why there's piss on
the floors i think people are are getting wise
to that and they're taking a step back so the splatter is not as much but then when your stream
i'm getting sprayed when your stream when your step back and your stream starts to weaken then
you piss on the floor i think that's what's going that's got to be what's going on i was late to a
recording of anus once because my pants were sopping. I was just sitting in this little hallway. You guys just own it.
I never wash off.
You guys are lucky. Like Sass said, we blast so hard into the water.
Ricochet.
The whole bottom of your pants gets soaked.
Ricochet.
Ricochet.
Ricochet.
Ricochet.
Rico was in a good mood this weekend.
Oh, was he with you?
Yeah he was with us
On Saturday
He was chopping it up
Did he do well?
Uh no
No one did well
Okay
Did you recommend Saratoga
Like even outside of
Yes
Horses
It's a nice town
It's awesome
It's a beautiful
Beautiful town
Yeah
I mean it's definitely
More fun during the
Horse meet
But like
It is a gorgeous town because the track's
like right there in town isn't it yeah which is also cool yeah yeah it's like it's an idyllic
idyllic yeah idyllic yeah idyllic place very big fan of it and we had the worst dinner ever on
friday what was it it was actually food, but the power went out.
And so the service was just super long.
And then it was also this combo of like the service was bad.
And then the owner of the place wanted to do a business deal with Dave.
So he would like kept on coming up being like, we should buy this place together.
And we're like,
dude,
we,
we haven't gotten our appetizers.
We've been here for an hour and a half.
That's tough.
Yeah. Don't do that. It hour and a half. That's tough.
Don't do that.
It wasn't great.
It wasn't great.
You know, friendship.
Losing money.
How was the banter?
Banter was good.
Vibes got a little low at times.
Any chippiness?
Any back and forth?
Nah, not too much.
A little bit with Rico, but not... We were just so...
We were just such big losers.
Did you guys mean to match your suits?
No, that was an accident.
That wasn't great.
There ain't no way.
That was tough.
When I pulled up and picked up Elio and Dave on Saturday,
I was like, oh, whoops.
Yeah.
We all look exactly the same.
Jerry might be a suit guy now, though.
Oh.
He looked really good.
So we got a stoolie who, shout out Mr. Formal Wear in Saratoga.
He hooked us up with suits.
And Jerry's, I think he's like considering wearing a suit to work every day.
There will be an Instagram ad here soon for Jerry.
Oh, yeah.
I need him to get this pitbull.
Yes.
Ruffles. You say it's a cute pitbull i posted a picture of ruffles the cutest but pitbulls all end up looking the same or no
no i think i think it was a pitbull mix because it was like seven months old and wasn't very big
so kind of like that's a cute dog that's a mix right that's not a straight cutie so i i got a question about
that does he have to call it ruffles no he can change the name yeah you get a puppy it's already
named you're allowed to stella's name was mama can't keep mama yeah i can't keep mama but it's
also the name is you got to remember like at a place like paws they get the dog they don't know
the dog's name they name the dog the dog's name
has been that for a week then it gets adopted like and it's to get adopted so they come up
with names that are cutesy yeah right or they'll like feels bad even save ruffles when we were
going to get stella like you'd go down the hall and it was like sprite coke pet like they just
named them all that that day. After the vending machine.
Yeah, like, they don't.
It's not.
Yeah, you get to pick your name.
Because it's not.
Mostly, they're strays.
I saw a video of this dude.
He's, like, training his friend's dog by giving it another name.
It's the most diabolical thing I've ever seen.
What?
Behind his back.
Behind his back.
It's a good prank.
That would drive me nuts.
It's like trying to call it Mike or some shit.
Oh.
That might be too far. Yeah. Yeah, that would suck. It's a good prank. That would drive me nuts. It's like trying to call it Mike or some shit. That might be too far.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would fuck me up.
It's too far, yeah.
Don't come between a man and his dog.
No.
Never.
It's evil shit.
Yeah, Jerry's got to get this dog.
He's got to get...
I mean, the minute he FaceTimes his girlfriend and the...
Yeah.
Congrats on dozen Captain of the Year.
Thank you.
I had to split defensive player of the year
With who?
You
My defense was solid this year
You played tight
What other awards were given out?
MVP was Eddie
Rookie of the year
Yandel
Is that it?
Thank you to all the...
And I'm all third team.
There we go.
I made the rookie team.
It's just all the rookies.
Che, you made second team?
Who's the one person on your team?
Do you have three people on your team?
Jack Bell.
Oh, he's not a rookie.
He's not a rookie, yeah.
Yeah, thank you for everyone who voted for Captain of the Year
so that we're able to do the case race.
Job, mission accomplished.
We did it, and the case race is going to be incredible.
Next week.
I'm very excited.
Next week.
Yeah.
We're ill rumble.
In costume.
I already called dibs on my wrestler.
Oh yeah, we gotta buy our costume.
I gotta figure mine out.
And we actually, now I know that the plans always go awry
but the plan that we have I think
is going to work. I do too.
I do. But like we're gonna be 10 beers deep
and it's gonna go down the drain. Yeah as soon as the
nope I do shows up. That's the beauty.
Has it ever been a competitive
like we're invested in the race
itself the whole time? No.
And this one's gonna be more
about the drama of the introductions.
Right.
People coming in and you don't know.
So the viewers, we won't even know who's being added to each team.
It's going to be random, which is going to be awesome.
I love that.
Can we have him come out from behind the Jumbotron?
Yeah.
Why not?
Oh, we should get a smoke machine.
Smoke machine.
Yeah.
Like coming down the ramp. a smoke machine. Smoke machine. Yeah. Like coming down the ramp.
Oh, please.
Smoke machine.
TJ, please, please, please.
Big Cat, do you have to ask?
For this?
Why do you have to ask me?
No, TJ, come on, man.
TJ, please.
TJ, please, because when the smoke machine causes problems and the fire alarm goes off,
I can be like, well, TJ did it.
Oh, that's a good point.
Fine.
TJ, you like it. Yeah.
You would like a smoke machine, TJ.
Can we get intros for everybody? Is it
too late to ask, like, graphics for
two months, brother?
Oh, yeah. They're the best.
Graphics, dude.
This is gonna rock.
I think I'm gonna have 21 beers.
What?
You are a beast like that. Oh beast like that I am a beast like that
I'm like a sneaky beast
you are
you said that to me the other day
when I came in and you were like
you see me right now
I was like yeah what's up
you were like I took four dabs of acid
sneaky beast
you will never tell
sneaky beast yeah and you will never tell you'll never know never sneaky
beast sneaky beast you might be the sneakiest beast we got when people call me out on being
a sneaky beast i just like wink yeah it took you long enough and they're oh, you are taking the lead. Always been. Yeah. Sneaky beast. Oh, 21.
You might just do it.
I'll die.
I would die.
Are we doing the live dozen on the court?
I think so.
So when we do the case race, we'll have to clear the court out of.
Didn't think about that.
TJ?
What's the issue?
Live dozen on the court? We don't need the court, do we? No. Well, where's the smoke machine going to go? Where's the what's the issue live dozen on the court
we don't need the court
do we
no
well where's the smoke machine
gonna go
where's the ramp
where's the pyrotechnics
jumbotron
okay
so yeah
come out from behind
the jumbotron
over there
yeah
and then
okay
everybody who's not in
will be sitting in the gambling cave
but then when their number
gets called
whoever's getting called
and they'll they'll go around the production area and they'll come out by the jumbotron Everybody who's not in will be sitting in the gambling cave. But then when their number gets called. I'll signal to whoever's getting called.
And they'll go around. They'll walk around the production area and they'll come out by the jumbotron.
Now, are we doing the ladder and the golden beer?
Are we turning this into a ladder match?
Might have to do a ladder match.
There's also going to be a punishment for the team, the losing team.
That's going to be very fun.
That will keep the case race going on.
Do you guys know it?
Should I keep it a secret? I do not know it. I think I know it. It's a fun on. Do you guys know it? Should I keep it a secret?
I do not know it.
I think I know it.
It's a fun one.
I think I know it.
I do not.
And I don't know if I'm just saying that or if I...
What do you think it is?
I think it's...
Well, I don't want to say it.
Yeah, you can say it.
Is it something you have to inflate?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes, I do know that. That's what inflate? Yes. Yeah. Ah.
Yes, I do know that.
That's what I thought it was.
Yeah.
Let's just say the only, the teams are going to be random, but we're going to maybe try to specifically have Spider and KB on opposite teams.
So that someone can get in a balloon.
No. No, I feel. It's still random? Yeah. Yeah. We'll never get in a balloon. No, no, I feel...
It's still random?
Yeah.
We'll never get out of here.
I feel like having Spider or KB will already be a losing team.
They don't really drink that much.
No, I know they'll be on opposite teams.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
Because the losing team will have to get someone in a balloon.
This is just two teams of eight.
Two teams of eight.
And the losing team will... The case race will not end until the losing team wins. in a balloon. This is just two teams of eight. Two teams of eight.
And the losing team will the case race will not end until the
losing team. The winning team will sit in these chairs.
And the losing team will be on the court
trying to get. The losing team will be out there trying to get a
What do we think the total beer number will be
on the winning team?
How many? 101. Do we know
the total number each team will have?
It's unlimited.
It's right. Yeah it's right yeah it's different
it's not going to be like we finish after 50 years is there a time limit yes there's a time
okay the kelsey brothers are good for 30 apiece so how it's gonna work i can't believe we got them
how it's gonna work is we're gonna we'll start the yak everyone will leave the room
and then the first wheel will be yak members so the six of us brandon and and roan that will fill
out the first four verse four and then we'll go to the mystery wheel that will fill out the other
four verse four and it'll be every 10 minutes okay so by by whatever it is 70 minutes it will
be 8 v 8 in the room and then after 8 v 8 for 20 minutes we do a reverse wheel where every five
minutes someone gets taken off until it's back to 1v1 and whichever team has the most beers consumed
wins oh fuck i love that yeah it is pretty simple but it will be very exciting like think about the
pop when you're when we're an hour and a half in and we're like we really need someone big and
then it's like boom here comes this person Dana comes down the ramp all these hypotheticals are
around Dana yeah well will was supposed to be in it yeah every time I'm like I'm
gonna drink so many beers I'm so excited and then watching it back it's like Kate
topped out at four beers sl slurring her words.
But this time's going to be different.
I'm really going to fuck shit up this time.
I feel like 45 minutes in, unlistenable, unwatchable.
Yes.
It's going to be 16 people.
Who are case race MVPs of the past?
Sass.
Sass.
Sass.
Sass again.
Sass every time.
It's always Sass.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who else?
Not Dana.
Oh, he didn't speak?
He didn't speak.
Dana didn't want to?
Yeah, Dana did the first one, didn't talk.
He went near it.
Dana didn't talk, and then we had one where Hank just didn't speak.
But he was playing Darth Maul.
Yeah, he was playing Darth Maul.
We've had a few guests that just did not speak
Spider didn't speak
I'm worried that's going to happen to me
That's a good thing
That's a great thing
You wake up the next morning and don't talk
The anxiety of talking
Dude talking is the worst
I'm nervous
I'm worried about that
I think I might not speak
No talking is the worst
Because you just wake up and you're just like What did I say I think I might not speak. No, talking is the worst. Talking.
Because you just wake up and you're just like, what did I say?
Oh, yeah, I did say your order 75 times.
And then Quiggs texts you the next morning in the group,
and he's like, I had to cut out this, this, this, this.
I do that when I go out now.
I'll wake up the next morning and be like,
was I talking just nonstop last night? Yeah.
Now think about that.
You told one story the entire night.
Yeah, think about that on a four-hour case rate.
I've been doing this thing where around 10 beers,
I start FaceTiming old girls that I used to talk to.
Oh, nice.
And I check in like I'm Mr. Big from Sex and the City.
I'm like, how you doing?
Mr. Big does that?
With Carrie.
It's a very, very...
Do they end up getting married?
Very bad. Yeah, and then he,
spoiler alert, he dies.
How did he die?
A heart attack on a Peloton.
Oh, no.
And she got back with Aiden?
Che's a big watcher of this show.
The reboot is very good on
HBO.
Okay.
I didn't really like the series But the new one's good
Che, what's your favorite signature dish
Of a city?
Ooh
That's a good question
Probably Buffalo Wings
Buffalo
Wow
Can't get them anywhere else
Classic
What's yours, Kyle?
A good Philly cheesesteak
It's not the New England
Scrod
The Scrod
The scallop cod
I think scrod's just a fish
Any of New Orleans
Signature dishes would work
Who does it's like the dump plate
Rochester
Yeah the garbage plate
That's tough
Yeah
Yeah I know
I'm already thinking
What am I going to get
What's my order after the case race
What am I going to get into
Oh remember when we got the West African food
My tummy hurts so bad
Wait did we do that after a case race
Yeah we did it during a case race
My stomach was full of peanut butter fish.
Oh, I don't remember peanut butter fish.
God, did you not get peanut butter fish?
I got a bit of the sauce, not the fish.
That was awesome, though.
Peanut butter fish.
I just remember my stomach just hurting.
I was like, what did I eat?
Oh, yeah, peanut butter fish.
Oxtail.
Yeah, it was oxtail.
It was oxtail, I think.
Oxtail was good. Yeah, but not after a case. That's not a drunk food, peanut butter fish. Oxtail. Yeah, it was oxtail. It was oxtail, I think. Oxtail was good.
Yeah, but not after a case race.
That's not a drunk food, though.
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
I think this might be also the latest case race we've ever done.
Yeah, we're going to start at like 8 p.m.
Yeah, which that's my only concern.
Yeah, but it shouldn't be well it would have like an hour and a half more more than that
for whoever's the starting person is by far the longest drinking that is that is a fact usually
the case race is like 45 50 minutes that's a fact i think 10 minutes might be too long that's my only
concern oh okay we could do we all right i think like seven and a half or or even if it's soft
between seven and ten why don't we just do five minutes?
I think ten minutes is way too long.
Why don't we just do five minutes?
Yeah.
We should just figure out whatever's like an hour-ish.
Right.
That's usually what it is in the case race.
The drinking time.
Yeah, and then, like, I mean, the post banter is where the real shit goes down.
Where the magic happens.
Yeah, post banter.
That between hour two and a half and three and a half.
Who did Brandon get in a little fight with last time?
He was in the hallway yelling at somebody.
You know what we can do?
You know what's the easy solution, TJ?
Is we do five minutes in between, and then when the yak is full,
we wait ten minutes for the mystery wheel.
Rico's going to be here.
Should he come back?
Oh, yeah.
Probably not.
What is our final?
Do we have the final roster
No
No
Has anybody dropped
Yes
Oh well
There he is
There's one right there
No
He's out
Damn
It's a shame
It's a real shame
He doesn't know how bad this feels
To have somebody drop from your
It's real real shame
I was pumped to see his micropenis in person.
It was...
You wouldn't.
It would have been great.
Oh.
It would have been great.
But yeah, he canceled.
He verbally committed, and then he canceled.
Very sad.
The boy's going through it.
Is he actually?
I think so.
I feel like nothing really affects will that's that's
something he's so lovable that these are his boys saying they can't come drink yeah that's true one
two is like the the if this had all happened in like a two-week stretch you could deal with it
this has been going on for what feels like a year now yeah Yeah. Remember, it started on the bad foot when they scheduled it during the dozen.
Right.
Yeah.
But Will's so good at when he fucks up
or something's going wrong,
he just smiles through it.
Yeah.
Oh, he's the best at it.
But this feels a little different.
This feels...
Critical blow.
As you said, Nick,
he's not going to be able to drink with his boys.
That's as bad as it gets, right?
Well, he is.
But not his real boys.
Right.
It's his co-workers. It's his C-te just doing we're just basically doing a happy hour in vegas right
it's our delayed christmas yeah yeah i want to get pug into it so bad
it's like pugs in it pugs on a teamug. What the fuck? He said he's ready.
I bumped into him outside of work.
Yeah?
Weird feeling.
What did you say to him?
He yelled my name.
And you were like, hey, Pug.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's always weird seeing, because he's pretty quiet within these walls.
Very quiet.
Yeah.
And then just, yeah, happy, even normal.
Yeah.
Do you know his real name?
Zach? No. No, I don't. There we go. I like Zach. What is it? real name? Zach? No.
No, I don't. There we go.
I like Zach. What is it? Do you want it?
Evan. Yeah.
I don't know if I wanted it.
It's not Evan. Pug.
It's Pug.
Yeah, Big Cat, you have a team of just
killers. Yeah. Shane,
killer, memes, killer,
Pug, killer. Yeah. Max. And Max. Pug. Killer. Yeah. Max.
And Max.
And Max.
And Max.
And they all kind of are just the same.
Yeah, they're quiet.
Kind of.
Yeah, they just kind of, they don't really speak a lot.
Max?
Max is different, but memes, Shane, and Pug.
Those three, yeah.
They average like three words a day.
Yeah.
Between the three of them.
Has Hank been obnoxious uh the way i put it is he doesn't
he doesn't deserve this happiness but his happiness is deserved like he's very very
happy and like for good reason because of the best team yeah but um yeah he's uh he's having
a great time right now he's really loving life he's really a great time right now. He's really loving life.
He's really sticking it to everyone.
Danny Woodhead's back.
I don't know if you guys saw him. He's in the garage over there?
In the garage.
What's the plan for that?
Nope.
Just there.
Make money.
Hank's got,
Hank says we're gonna just fucking cash in.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Good ass plan from Hank.
Cool, man.
I'm excited to see the mini golf hole in it sounds good to me
we're gonna cash in that thing's a fucking cash cow sitting up it is it is so broken
it doesn't turn on i was gonna say you guys should like you guys oh go ahead well i was
gonna say nick said it doesn't turn on we'd have to have a key to even see. Oh, no. We don't have a key.
Shit.
When was the last time you saw the key?
Years.
Okay.
My idea was you guys could interview people in the van,
but then I realized that's just a ripoff of what Bustin' with the Boys is. That's true.
Oh, yeah.
Tried it.
Oh, that was a show, too, before that.
Barstool Van Talk.
Barstool.
Oh. Are you? What is it? Are you picking up on this? Oh, no was a show, too, before that. Barstool Van Talk. Barstool. Oh.
Are you, what is it?
Are you picking up on this?
Oh, no.
Come on.
Fuck.
Come on, G.
Mook.
Do we have anyone?
Oh, no, Mook.
That was brutal.
That was tough.
That was a tough one.
That was a brutal one.
I thought he was joking.
Oh.
Me, too.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no no we actually had that that's how he said it too
that concept has been done my man thought he had his eureka moment
oh moment oh yeah i love you brother that was i actually saw the note with the notepad from
the dan patrick interview which is the last one i think we ever did in there was in there when we
when we uh did that air why do i have uh a memory that like there's there's an unaired we did air
interview we did air it on our podcast it was una unaired? It was unaired on TV. On TV.
That's when we aired it on the podcast.
There are no lost tapes then?
It's all been...
Are there any lost tapes?
As far as...
Yeah, like a pilot proof of concept?
There might be.
I remember, though, we just had to do multiple takes,
and the minute we had to do like multiple takes and that was the minute
we had to do multiple takes like this show is not
going to work like we had to
repeat our lines back to each other like that's
just not what we do we can't do that
like there's just I
physically can't do that
anything with like talking is
it's you can tell it's
forced right I'm not
saying the lines back.
Yeah.
But yeah, there's a lot of work that needs to be done on Vandy Wood.
I think Hank thinks that it's like we just can turn it on and it will go.
It also doesn't exist.
There is no title.
Oh.
It doesn't exist in the world.
Really?
He had to illegally get it here.
Illegally get it here?
He tried to get it here through regular means of towing it.
Did somebody mule it?
Jerry had a guy.
Jerry?
Who brought it here.
What?
What does that mean?
Mule it?
Up a mass?
Yeah, because it doesn't have a title.
So you can't, like a tow company won't tow it.
Okay.
Because it doesn't exist.
So then Jerry had to call in someone who was ready to smuggle it.
So did somebody steal the van technically to bring it here?
But can you steal it if it doesn't exist?
No.
I don't know how it's going to end up, but it's going to end up with me having to pay a lot of money.
Yeah.
He keeps talking about how we're going to like soup it up.
And I'm like, with whose money? He's like, we'll just we how we're gonna like soup it up and i'm like with
who's money he's like we'll just we'll make money and then soup it up but then once it's souped up
what cash cash paper oh i think you're not understanding oh wait make it i think of that
make it drive millions who's like our biggest paper chaser what do you mean like you know the type
of dude who's always trying to just get his money up via like hustles yeah yeah jerry's already got
because we i think we i don't know if we talked about on this show but i think dave did on unnamed
that we hired an agent for barstool so people can
potentially do like our sales team's great but they sell podcasts or brands we figure there's
we're missing out on revenue of like everyone who's got a big social following being able to do
deals specifically for that person i think dave's gonna cancel it because jerry he already has like like five deals ready
to go he already did a deal he was taking a phone call he's gonna be in a commercial
it should be so the floodgates are open for jerry he's gonna monopolize all the the agents and yeah
else yeah no other resources i actually all the resources are jerry's i got this i got the
final because i told the story uh roof ball about how jerry was pointing to his hat yeah when we
were at dinner at saratoga and i i got the story it was uh he got uh six ribeyes for that that
wasn't that was pretty good oh yeah it was six ribeyes oh yeah he's a paper chaser remember
when he did it i said it out loud i was
like that's a deal jerry can go home right now he just got his his money's worth six rib eyes
it's a few hundred dollars yeah all in a day's work and a free hat yeah yeah he's gonna jerry's
gonna be the richest guy here very shortly what's the lowest you'd go to sell something? What company would you be like, all right, fine?
Barstool Sports.
Yeah.
I had a frame company reach out to me.
A frame company?
Yeah, like picture frame?
Yeah, yeah.
They offered me $400.
Hell yes.
Frames are very expensive.
I got something framed recently.
It was like $600.
Really?
Yeah, it's crazy. I had a joking post before i had my baby where i tagged like a bunch of super expensive
brands like there's a wagon that's like a thousand dollars and like a crib that's like a thousand
dollars and i tagged all these but it was like a joke but then a couple of them hit me up and i'm
like an awkward whatever and i accepted the one thing and then ended up and they
didn't like tell me I had to post about them but I felt that the pressure was there kind of thing
and then my baby ended up hating that thing oh and then they were hitting me up like hey what's
going on and then I sent the thing back and like ghosted them and I can't stop thinking about
because they were super nice and that's it that's why I don't do that's why I don't do any I'm like to listen to me yeah yeah that's
stressful that's very I'm like whatever Jerry is I'm the complete opposite of that because I feel
like it has to be genuine or I won't like I can't yeah no I've spiraled for a thousand years and
yeah but I just don't have it in me I don't have it in me but you should practice what
exposure therapy to letting people down i guess i feel like i do that every day let's have kate
fire and interns yeah yeah i don't know but something yeah i get so in my head about it and
like those people were super nice they were like you're fine it's not a big deal and i was like
okay all right yeah at work yeah give a shit they do not give a shit yeah no they were super
lovely and i like built it up super big in my head so i feel like yeah that was a cool story
but uh what's i watched the uh intern interviews this weekend and one of the interns somebody
threw a hat up and he signed it and
threw it back to them at the real douchebag move yeah wait what at the barstool bar wait what do
you mean someone threw a hat up i think maybe for someone else to sign it and he signed it and
threw it back and the person was like you ruined my hat yeah that's that's awesome yeah yeah but like I saw the video of him signing
It was no questions asked
Got it
Boom
He wasn't even joking
Like oh I'm gonna sign this as a prank
Been here for a week
They obviously know who I am
Who was it?
It was Joey
Oh
Yeah
Alright I'm gonna check back in
Okay
Witnessed him and Smokes
Get into a body count off
Five minutes after that
Oh wow
No
Wow
Like an altercation?
An actual, like they were chest to chest.
I think the interns were having like a party here on Friday afternoon is what I've been
told.
So that's going to have to stop.
Yeah.
Hank's going to drop the hammer tomorrow.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, it was very clear.
A party amongst themselves?
Yeah.
Like after basketball basketball i was told
there were some people editing and they were like wow that's really loud music and they came out and
it was just not basketball it was just entertaining out it's quick to be that disrespectful kids these
days well you think like this job in this office specifically is pretty fun. It's like just keep your head down for a while and good things could happen.
That's what I would do.
Yeah, you see that and you're just like, damn, I want just to be comfortable.
Yeah, it's the quickest interns have ever gotten as comfortable as possible.
Well, that's Gen Z.
I was reading about they're like challenging all their bosses and like they don't give a shit.
Yeah.
They're just doing their thing. The problem with that is they're like challenging all their bosses and like they don't give a shit. Yeah. They're just doing their thing.
The problem with that is they're not employees.
So, I mean, their internship does end.
And I think they all want to work here.
So we'll see.
Jacob, though, is still, I'm high on Jacob.
He's my guy.
He's a great guy.
He made that Doc Ock costume.
That'll go a long way.
I like him a lot.
He's my number one right now.
Clear number one. I clear number one i think
everyone else is in the last place i think you should make that public i think you should have
a leaderboard oh yeah somewhere that would be good every week it changes it would be good
yeah i'm a little nervous because i'm gonna be out wednesday thursday friday how that goes because
i also have to talk to nicky smokes because he does the joke like whenever
i'm out like he's in charge but i think that's i don't think he's joking anymore no he thinks
that's his role yeah yeah especially now that he has a group of people that he feels like he has a
little bit of power he's kind of the pied piper for the intern so i gotta which is funny because
he's like he's on a one-year contract.
I don't get it, because when I first started here,
I was even afraid to make eye contact with Nick and KB and speak my mind to them.
I don't want them to be afraid.
I just want them to maybe have a little respect for the place.
Not that much.
I didn't say a word to a content person for five months.
Yeah, I didn't piss my first two months.
I was terrified.
Or eat.
I just sat at the same spot all day.
I don't think I looked at Big Cat until a year in.
Yeah, KB just wouldn't show until I cornered him.
No, you used to work across the street.
You didn't go into the office.
So one day I was just like,
what's your deal?
Come over here.
I wanted to know for a fact that you respect.
Yeah, I did.
I literally, he remembers it
when you have to what's your deal i just like what's your deal yeah and then we just talked
and i was like i like this guy because he would just come in and come out yeah that meant the
world to me yeah but that was that was that was the correct way of doing it just being like
i just don't understand coming to a job like for the first few months like wouldn't you just want
to just feel it out and just maybe not make any waves?
I think pop punk opened the gates.
Yeah.
Where everyone was partying together.
Everyone was like, oh, everyone's fucked up.
Now we're boys.
I also think that, and this is, I understand this.
We give off the illusion of we're just always fucking around.
But people actually do work.
Yeah. So we'll see. see yeah that's probably hard a little calibration of how much right i don't want to be boring but also and if you there's a line right if you watch the clips if you watch like
viva tv you'd be like these guys just hang out all day yeah it's like but they're also
i think what people don't realize
outside these walls, they're filming constantly
and that's 20 minutes of an entire week of work.
We'll see.
I'm not so down on them that I'm out on them.
We'll just, I need someone who's going to be in charge
when I'm not here.
Who can lay the hammer down.
Who would that be?
Titus?
Titus.
I think it would be Titus.
Titus.
It can't be.
Oh, Che would actually be great.
Actually, Che, yeah.
I saw Che fire me.
He's got the...
Che.
Oh, yeah.
Che's got the ability to...
He's cold-blooded.
He's stern.
Is Hank...
Does he mean...
Can Hank lay it down?
Hank is, but then Hank's also out of town this week, too,
so it's like a double whammy.
What about Big T?
If those interns are ever at the golf course.
Ooh, Big T.
Big T would be great.
Big T would be no nonsense.
I would love that.
Yeah.
You would need a sheriff.
They would walk all over me in two seconds.
Big T has to walk them around on, like, kids' leashes.
I think Jay makes the most sense.
Yeah. I forfeit it upstairs. I don't do it. Big T has to walk them around on like kids leashes I think Jay makes the most sense Yeah
I forfeit it upstairs
I don't do it
And I sneak up when I go to record
I conceded that land battle
Jay what's your first order of business
If you're in charge
I think just having to talk about realistic expectations,
like what are your expectations for this show?
What are our expectations for you?
Just so they,
I think we're aligned.
Yeah,
he's good.
Or him to death.
They'll all want to quit.
I'd want to quit the minute that guy started talking.
Like it's not worth it.
Hey,
let's talk about your expectations.
What's your five year plan?
I'm like,
all right, that was fun.
I'm out.
It's not worth it.
So, yeah, Che might have to be the guy.
Yeah.
You want to practice?
Am I addressing one person or am I addressing the, I guess, class?
We're all the interns.
Yeah, set them up.
All right, so obviously you guys have heard some chatter on the interns. Yeah, set him up.
Alright, so obviously you guys have heard some chatter on the yak.
What does he do here?
I think all he does
is sit on Big Cat's lap.
Oh.
He's behind.
He's a charity hire for Big Cat.
He's got no orange.
Let's be clear about something.
You guys are here temporarily.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm a bop.
He laughed with us.
That means he's our friend.
Pass me a high noon.
L in the chat.
L in the chat.
L, L, L, L, L.
I mean, you're...
He walked all over you.
You're...
Try again.
A single one of us out.
All right, Mook's bitch ass isn't looking at me, so let's talk to him.
What do you do here?
It's just kind of like vibe.
That's exactly what they were saying.
I just like pretty much vibe out and like, you know, film my shit.
What exactly is your shit?
Fucking watch my TikToks, you bitch.
I mean, this is a very fun place, obviously.
This is going in my TikTok right now.
Don't really care.
This is a fun place,
but we have responsibilities here
and you're clearly not upholding these.
If you continue to address me in this
way and treat this office with
out respect.
Oh shit.
You've been addressing him nasty.
I will personally
ensure your tenure is over
fairly soon.
Oh shit. I'm not worried about you old man.
Nah, you'd break.
Yeah, I would.
Yeah.
Okay. He, I would. Yeah. I would work.
Okay.
He can be stern.
Address the way you've addressed me.
I do think they're good people.
I do, too.
Again, it's not...
Very comfortable.
It's not like a...
You guys, I hate all of you it's just
yeah the comfortableness was faster than i expected yeah all the girls are shitting with
the door open yeah and they're just no and it's also like it comes out to like the the story i
was told was there were people here doing actual work editing late and there was music that was
so loud that they were like what is going on
that to me is like
just go to a bar
why would you even want to be here if you're
like why wouldn't you just go to a bar
free drinks
well so then we'll just have to cut off
free snacks
we're gonna have to lock the high noon fridge again
cause like if there's actually people
working and trying to get shit done, we shouldn't stop them.
Also, it is a fun place to hang out.
It is a fun place.
And then I'm going to mom.
I don't want it to not be a fun place.
I'm glad they feel comfortable.
No.
I don't want them to be.
Are we yelling at clouds?
Are we old man yelling?
She said to the guy who built the million dollar multi-layer.
I'm sure people will say i'm like out of touch
and i don't know what i'm talking about but like i hear you it it is a job we do do jobs we could
just fuck off and just we could just fuck off we should just be the intern yeah and then just like
tomorrow when the act is supposed to start we'll be like ah we forgot yeah yeah see if people like it we were vibing sorry it's fucking what do you want us to do you
want us to do this shit oh they're watching they're all watching
wait is mincy around i think you guys are cute and fun in a non-creepy way.
Kate, you're being a bitch.
Are they watching this or are they watching?
They're probably not even watching.
No.
They're definitely watching a TikTok.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Maybe.
They're not.
Nope.
There's no way.
Well, no, if they would.
Hit the gritty if you're watching.
First person to hit the gritty.
I like Goldfinger, too.
I do, too.
Oh, yeah. he's never not
smiled he's a bubbly boy oh see oh are they looking yeah yeah they're watching now i'm afraid
to go back up to the studio yeah they're gonna be mad at us they're gonna be pissed at us what
the fuck we can't we can't let their unfazed oh we don't care you guys fuck. We can't let them run us.
They're unfazed.
They don't care.
You guys can't.
We can't let them run the show.
They're probably trying to find his signed hat on eBay.
See what it's going for.
Oh, Jacob.
There we go.
He's like a Yeti, dude.
I'm going to be like the 50-year-old substitute teacher.
You'll see me at Lake Michigan smoking with him this weekend.
Creeping him out.
See, they fucking...
Yeah, they're unfazed.
They're unfazed.
What was that?
What are we laughing at?
No, I think they're trying to confuse us.
They're like, let's laugh at a 3-2-1.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, they don't give a shit.
I won't be up there for the next two weeks.
Horrified.
Terrified of them.
The worst part is I don't want to be a boss.
But Hank and I were talking about this the other day.
It's like, I think we kind of have to be.
But I don't want to.
It's the last thing I want to do.
But I don't know what else.
You can't be a sneaky beast.
I need to get like right up in there. I think I need to. It's the last thing I want to do. But I don't know what else. You can't be a sneaky beast. I need to get like a CEO of the Chicago office.
Yeah.
Drop the hammer so I don't have to do this.
That's not a bad idea.
Not a bad idea.
Like an outside hire.
Because I fucking hate it.
And I'm a pussy too.
There you go.
He gritty.
He gritty. Even talking this out, I'm going to go up and be like, no, you guys are fine.
Party.
What I said back there, that was.
Yeah.
I was just trying to be cool on air.
Fuck, man.
It's really difficult.
Yeah, I think we need to get like a boss, man.
I am jealous of them.
They seem very confident.
Yeah. What's that like? Right. Like, I think of them. They seem very confident. Yeah.
What's that like?
Right.
Like I think they're going to just
people.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Like if they came down here.
Damn it.
If they overtook the act right now
I'd be scared.
I need to.
I just need to.
All right.
We got to find someone.
We need to find a mean person
who can just be mean.
Hire an intern actor and go up and fire them.
Yeah.
In front of them.
We need like a scared straight.
Yep.
Yeah.
We need like maybe like shoe nice.
Be like, I was a shooting star in the internet scene.
I was an intern.
Yeah, and then I got ahead of myself.
And look at me now
still eating tampax don't be i would have told you i was eating we need like a flamed out internet
star who could just be like this is what this is yeah what can happen to you i feel like there's
plenty to choose from yeah yeah i Yeah. I'll think about it.
I got into one of the interns on Friday.
You what? What?
Whoa.
Day in my life, I was just sexually harassed by an Asian.
No, I got pretty stern with one of them for a little bit.
Over what?
What happened?
It was a basketball-related matter.
Oh, what happened?
Just some dude hot-dogging and also not playing any defense oh you actually was not even close to what we're talking about he was he wasn't playing defense
not even crossing half court who was it i'm not gonna i don't think i know you know joey
joey joey he said he's the best.
Yeah, and then he went like.
But he'll say that about anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That doesn't relate to anything we were talking about, Steve.
I mean, you said you need somebody to stand up to the interns.
So what'd you say to him?
I said, dude, you might be talented at one end of the corporate.
You got to at least participate in the other.
Hammer.
Yeah, he was probably
quivering, dude. Hammer.
Did he respond?
Yes, in actually
a very poor way. Yeah.
What did he do, spank you?
Would you ever
spank you?
I was just reminded of
a text message. There was a very
actually, maybe I shouldn't put this for air
alright I'll say it
there was a
tie up for a loose ball on the baseline
between an intern and
Connor Griffin and the intern
took the ball in a basketball
play but kind of a dick move and threw it right off
Connor's dick
that's uncool two
feet away was he out was he out was he out technically the ball technically the ball was
off connor so basketball wise it made sense but it's kind of an egregious thing to do
in an office pickup game was that the same one yes it was got it
okay by the way we should uh I had someone tweet me that
Evo should run the gauntlet
He never has
Oh Evo would be great
Right now
Yeah
No we need to do one for Omos Stakes
Let's do it
He's pretty athletic isn't he?
Yeah
Yeah
And I think he's one of the last people
Who's never done it
Is Malasek here?
No he's playing golf
He'd have to have Connor Griffin
In the goal He was good Yeah he was Oh he's got golf. He'd have to have Connor Griffin in the goal.
He was good.
Yeah, he was.
Oh, he's got more.
Hebo with a blanket on?
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We will, if Ebo, what should we set his time at?
Ebo? He's a sub-three guy. Let's spin will, if Ebo, what should we set his time at? Ebo?
2.50.
He's a sub-3 guy.
Let's spin the wheel and Ebo will go against someone.
Yeah.
And then the winner gets a steak tomorrow.
What if he goes under two minutes, gets Gunnar Henderson's number?
Oh.
That's our reward.
Every time the gauntlet will give away Gunner's number
Yeah
I might take Baltimore
Crab cakes
That's not bad
That's a good one
Tex-Mex is good
Oh Tex-Mex
From what city
Cheese curds
San Antonio
Cheese curds
Cheese curds are good
KB
You haven't done it in a minute
In a hot minute
I don't like doing it
In a hot minute
How about
Alright do you want to go first or second, Ebo?
You're up against KB for a steak lunch tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Go first.
Good hustle, Connor.
Thank you.
He's moving.
Connor, you got your mouth guard?
No.
Oh, no.
He doesn't have his mouth guard.
Don't kick at Connor's face.
Got the gloves.
Let's go Connor He doesn't run like a guy who idolizes
Teen pop icons
Connor's a perfect example of like what
When he was an intern
Like all he did was just
Did everything he was asked to
Yup
Yeah
He's a star now
Perfect
Absolute star
Trustworthy guy He's gonna star now. Absolute star.
Trustworthy guy.
He's going to fuck every bridesmaid silly
on the wedding.
Blumman has to wear
a t-shirt suit, right?
Um,
I don't want to disrespect
their wedding.
No, he's got to wear
the purple shirt.
He's got to wear
the purple button down.
I'll buy him
a purple button down.
And it's like mind-bogglingly purple.
Yes, so purple.
The deepest purple.
How?
Almost like, yeah, most people are thinking,
is that like a black shirt?
But it's purple.
It's real purple and it has like those faint vertical lines
where they're also purple.
One's like shinier than the other.
What kind of shoes?
Barefoot.
Flip flops.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never been to a wedding before.
Warming them up.
Blutman suspended me for two weeks from questions.
He won't ask me any questions.
All right, are we ready?
I got to do the rundown at two.
We ready?
Hold on, TJ, you ready?
All right.
Three, two, one, go.
Here he goes, folks.
For Gunner.
Oh.
Oh, no. He's teasing it.
Under two minutes, he gets Gunner.
He's trying to nudge the board.
Oh, no, Ebo.
Oh, Ebo.
Oh, no. Is he going to be elbow?
Don't do that, Chad.
Don't elbow him.
Don't elbow him.
Don't elbow him. Don't elbow him.
Oh!
No.
Connor was frozen on that.
Oh.
Is he jazz hands?
Oh, what a save.
Distracted the asshole.
Turned around. Yard. He's turned around.
Yard.
That's good.
Great time.
He's coming back.
Oh, my God.
Pick it up, Ebo.
Huge Ebo.
Come on, Ebo.
Woo.
Oh.
Dude, Cornhole just buried him.
He had such a good.
Uh-oh.
Yep.
Yes.
I think he'll be good at trivia, too.
Yeah, he's going to be good at trivia.
Yeah.
No sense of urgency. Yep.
Here it is.
Get in here.
You got 40 seconds.
Go to that long.
Yankees all-time.
Mickey Mantle, Derek Jeter.
Oh, he's not in typing five NBA teams Doc Rivers Ruth coached um uh Sixers Bucks 76ers Bucks Clippers
dude you got this come on um Ionic Covalent oh there is Volkswagen Mercedes Benz
Mercedes
Yes
Oh my god
Dude
If you had gotten that cornhole
You would have fucking rocked it
All three of my first ones were right on it too
I just kept throwing blocks
Cornhole.
Third of all time.
Incredible time, Evo.
They were all calling you Elbow.
Yeah, I know.
Please no Elbows in the chat, please.
Wow.
Does this mean I'm a better athlete than all the Orioles?
Oh, my God.
Do you want to be?
No.
But yeah.
Pretty much, though.
Yeah. What a No. But yeah. Pretty much, though. Yeah.
What a time.
Holy shit.
That was incredible.
Evo, you got to go again at some point because I think you're the one.
Ionic and covalent.
It wasn't like you just had one category.
Yeah.
One of the first ten letters in the alphabet.
Casually told.
Hell-rounded.
He was all over it.
All right, KB, where is he?
I think he probably left.
He probably didn't want to do it.
What's the asterisk?
Will you spin the wheel, TJ?
Oh, that is
but, oh, that is tough.
Where's Kyle? Kyle, you ready?
Oh, he brought his backpack.
What's in the backpack, man?
I have my glasses. Oh, okay. his backpack. What's in the backpack, man? My glasses.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Come on, Kyle.
Do a high noon, please.
Oh, for the sporkle.
Of course.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No, we're okay.
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Oh, practice shot.
Didn't go.
All right, ready, KB?
Yeah, I feel like KB hasn't done this in forever.
Chat's already calling him LB.
No, LB.
Not pound.
Little pound.
Little pound.
There's Blutman getting the angles that our $12,000 cameras cannot.
All right, here we go. He's so used to another suspension.
Three, two, one, go.
Dude, imagine Blutman at the wedding just on the dance floor holding his phone up.
He will.
Yeah, following the bride around the whole time.
You can hire the Blutmans to be your wedding vide will. Yeah, following the bride around the whole time. You can hire
the Blutmans to be your wedding videographers.
All on camera. Your social guys.
Woo! There we go.
Clutch Gene.
Oh, the
carpet. That was a great show.
I like going low.
Ooh.
Wow.
I love Griffin.
Maybe a non-factor in goal.
Yeah.
I see the necessity for the asterisk now.
He had that one showing against.
I forget who it was against, but he popped off.
KB's rocking it.
Oh, what a shot, KB.
Good time, Kyle. You're on fire, KB. This might be. Okay. Oh, what a shot, KB. Good time, Kyle.
You're on fire, KB.
This might be.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
That was a Coleman shot.
Okay.
I'm obsessed with that whole saga.
Oh, my God.
It's incredible.
Nobody has a larger online footprint than Coleman.
Every single podcast that's ever been recorded has Coleman on it.
There we go.
Oh, no. Oh. He's bringing one ball. Cocky. recorded has Coleman on it. There we go. Oh, no.
Oh.
He's bringing one ball.
Cocky.
Come on.
Hit it.
Oh.
These are some really good times, KB.
Really good times.
10 NFL players with the most points scored in the playoffs?
Non-QB.
The Lincoln.
Here we go, tallest president.
Ice tea.
Lemonade.
What are the colors?
Red.
Orange.
Nope, Three systems.
Nausea.
Oh, six weapons found in the standard edition of Clue Board game.
Nausea.
Nausea.
N-A-U-S-E-A.
N-A-U-S-E-A.
Heartburn.
Integestion.
I-N-D-I-G-E-S-G-I-R
I remember the commercial
Upset stomach
Nice
It's methodically just taking this down
D-I-A-R-R-E-S
Oklahoma
Got it 229 Yeah, two really good times Real nice One more. It's Oklahoma.
Got it.
There we go.
229.
Yeah, two really good times today.
Real nice.
What did Ebo get?
148.
Oh, wow.
He gets a stake.
What else?
Oh, it's all kickers.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And Jerry Rice. Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith.
Hmm.
Great job, KB.
Is that the best KB time?
Might have been.
Might have been.
Each one.
All right.
Good yak, boys and girls.
Nice little Monday.
Sorry about the van. Nice little Monday.
No, it's all right.
It's no problem, sweetie. I bet you nobody even girls. Nice little Monday. Sorry about the van. No, it's all right. It's no problem, sweetie.
I bet you nobody even noticed.
Don't worry, you're a little head filled with air.
The death threats are pouring in.
You apologizing made it better, though.
Yeah, definitely.
For sure.
I did forget about it.
No, that's going to be with me all day.
Now it's going to be like the thumbnail of you doing a Mr. Beast shrug and being like, what is this?
It's like the van.
But hopefully not.
Hopefully not.
Yeah, it'll blow over, I'm sure.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Please like and subscribe.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's your act. It's the act. It's your straw, it's the act.
It's time to stay for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop.
We're doing Yankee Swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. See you tomorrow.
Bye.