The Yak - Jersey Jerry Recaps His Night With Kenny Pickett || The Yak 5-11-22
Episode Date: May 11, 2022It Was Always the SteelersYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Oh, look at that birthday boy.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy.
I sing now.
We went to dinner last night, and Kenny Pickett was there.
Jerry's quarterback.
Nick's quarterback.
My quarterback.
And Jerry turned to Kenny Pickett in the middle of dinner, all serious.
And he goes, can I give you a little piece of advice on the NFL?
I'm thinking like money management, going to the fans.
Jerry just goes dead serious.
Friarmouth is always open.
He's not lying.
He's not lying. He's not lying.
That was his dead honest thing.
Straight up,
listen to me, Kenny. You throw it to
Friar Muth, you're going to be playing a long time.
Attack the seams on a cover two.
That's why I gave him my first three plays.
Yeah, he punted three and out.
Oh, he did. Give him again.
It was a punt, three and out.
First one was a five yard out to Pat Fryermuth
That gained five yards
Then it was a
I agree
Why only five though?
It's just a simple little quick out
Why is it a tackle though?
This is by design
Five yards
This is by design
Najee
Najee run
Loss of one so third and six
We didn't say loss of one
We said a gain and no yards
Okay so third and five
And then I would go back to Pat again
Tackled short of the sticks Punt Well still that's two pitches for Pat though and we said a gain and no yards. Okay, so third and five. And then I would go back to Pat again.
Tackled short of the sticks.
Punt.
Well, still, that's two catches for Pat, though.
Yeah, two catches early on.
All going according to plan.
That's what we usually do.
That's the Steelers' dream.
Yeah.
That's fucking genius.
Steve, happy schedule release day.
Was that today?
Tomorrow.
Happy schedule release, Eve.
Eve, how are you celebrating?
Good.
Yeah, I'm excited.
I mean, we know the opponents.
It's more of just a matter of travel planning and going to certain games.
The Bucs are at the Steelers this year.
Yeah, we'll go to that one.
Steelers don't leave their time zone.
They don't.
That's crazy. That's crazy, yeah.
Not once?
Not once.
How?
I don't know.
They travel like 6,000 miles.
Yeah.
Lowest in the league by far.
No jet lag, perfect circadian rhythm.
Yep.
The Seahawks are like, I want to say it's like 53,000 miles or something like that.
That's insane for them.
Because they play in London against us.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Does the circadian rhythm fuck you up if you're just going to like mountain time zone?
If you cross time.
One single time zone?
Atlanta?
It's going to be marred.
You need to instantly ground.
Take off your shoes.
Have your shoes run in the grass.
Even trot in the grass.
A trot?
It's iffy.
How do you guys run when you want to make it seem like you're hurrying,
but you're not actually running?
I move my arms fast.
Legs go the same.
Can I see it?
Probably the same way I walked on the train today.
Can I maybe see it? Let's see it. I'd like to see yours Legs go the same. Can I see it? Probably the same way I walked in the train today. Can I maybe see it?
Let's see it.
I'd like to see yours next, Jerry.
That looks slow.
That's how you go?
That looks cumbersome.
Do it out there.
In the front hall?
Yeah, give it to us.
Yeah, give it out there.
Do it out there.
I couldn't really see your whole body.
It's actually a very funny premise.
I do the frantic like I'm...
Here he goes.
No, no.
No, this is it.
Give yours, give yours.
I look slower than a log.
Is the premise again?
You're acting like you're hurrying.
For example, like the time is going down as you're crossing the street.
Oh, I have a great crosswalk.
And you want the car to think that you're hurrying.
Well, you're just pretending to rush.
You want to look like you're in a rush. You look like you're in a rush, but you don't want to be rushed.
Not actually moving any faster.
Yeah, you're good.
A little bit further back.
There we go.
That was fast.
That was a little prancy.
That was a little bit of a prance.
Wait, wait, wait.
He didn't let up on velocity.
Follow my lead.
Follow my lead when he walks back in.
Hey, Big Cat, pause. He didn't let up on Velocity. Follow my lead when he walks back in. Hey, Big Cat, pause.
Dude, mine, I don't know, boys.
Mine is really, I like bounce my limbs a little bit.
Hang on, you got to see this one.
I'm like, my joints kind of bounce a little.
But what's your pace?
It's the exact same pace.
Exact same pace.
Y'all hoes went fast.
I did not go fast
Part of this assignment is to not go fast
How fast
That's actually a cool challenge
It's like rubbing your head
Oh that's good
Oh yeah he is going slow
Yeah he's going slow
It's like rubbing your head and patting your tummy
It's like moving your legs really slow
And moving your upper body fast
I don't think you could do it
That was good
That was really good.
Like an oral Hershiser change-up.
Something like that.
I don't know.
I haven't seen Jerry's though.
I didn't mind.
That's how I was walking today from the train.
Were you actually going fast?
You just wanted to see my face.
So you were actually going fast, which is a little different
than just seaming fast.
Seaming fast.
Seaming fast. Oh, there he is. Semen fast. Semen fast.
Oh, there he is.
He looks like the crosswalk symbol.
He's like a zombie.
He looks like a zombie coming to attack us.
You just need a shotgun.
Jerry, Steven, can we bring in Jerry's present?
Jerry.
Present?
The fuck?
Is there not a big box?
I got to have a big box.
Really?
Wrapped?
Yep. Wrapped and everything, my got to have a big box. Really? Wrapped?
Yep.
Wrapped and everything, my friend.
Get out of here.
Owen?
Owen, Sass.
Owen.
Late boys.
Jerry, happy birthday. Yeah, we had a little bit of a mix-up.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Jerry's present.
Can we sing to Jerry?
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Get into it, Sass.
Come on.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
This is for my guy, Jer.
Hey, Jer.
Get up here and look at the camera with the present,
and then you're going to open it for everyone.
I've had two birthdays since I've worked here,
and that's infinitely larger than anything I've gotten.
Jerry.
Crouch, crouch.
I want to see you hunched over.
It's from everyone at the YAC.
Crouch, there you go.
We all got some money together.
I hope you don't have it.
That's what we discussed.
Tell us if you have it.
I had to use boxes from around here, sorry.
So, yeah, it's a good tape job, you know.
Yeah, you got to really rip at it.
There's a box inside. Oh oh the boxes oh yeah yeah forgot about
that see the air holes yeah look at that
classic little cat in there somebody's
fucking did that one of you guys let me
out now all right here's the real
president another box hey I had to play
a little prank on you with the boxes.
You would know what it was by the size of the box.
Right, exactly.
It's very obvious.
You would have an idea.
And rip her open.
There's one more wrapping.
Oh, no.
Smaller items are typically more expensive, Jerry.
Oh, look at that.
What do we got?
Foil?
Yeah, 10 hot dogs.
Oh, it's hot dogs.
Out of them. It's your birthday. Happy birthday, 10 hot dogs. Hot dogs. Hell yeah. Out of them.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
At your own pace.
At your own pace.
Your time.
Oh, I would love one.
Actually, out of respect, I'd like a Jerry dog.
Yeah, I'd like a Jerry dog as well.
I'd like a Jerry dog.
Oh, no.
I don't want a Jerry dog.
I want a normal one.
I'll take a normal one.
Out of respect.
Jerry me up. Yeah, I'll take a Jerry. Out of respect. normal one. I'll respect. Jerry me up.
I'll take a Jerry.
Jerry mine.
I'll Jerry.
Thank you.
No thank you.
I'll Jerry, yes.
I've never had a Jerry dog.
Tastes better Jerry.
They're so good.
You can taste the hand.
I hate to be picky.
Can I have extra Jerry?
Oh, man.
Thanks, brother.
Damn.
This looks like a breadstick.
You got loaded with Jerry.
Harry, I'll take one a little easy on the Jerry, though.
Uh-uh.
Fully loaded.
Fully loaded Jerry.
Extra Jerry.
A little easy on the Jerry.
Extra Jerry for the boy.
He's growing after all.
Oh, yeah.
Bring it out.
Bring it.
It's nothing but Jerry.
Jesus.
Stretch that one a little. I'm all set, Slick. He's out. Bring it. It's nothing but Jerry. Jesus. Stretch that one a little.
I'm all set, Slick.
He's good.
He's cutting weight.
You got to finish yours, Sass.
It's your birthday.
I'm going to finish it.
I'm starving.
Why?
You're going to start spending money on rent?
Take care of my boy.
Thanks, Jerry.
Thank you, Jerry.
Happy birthday.
Generous with your gift.
Thanks for being born.
Excellent dog.
Also, the Tico's birthdays.
Yes.
Oh, really?
Yeah, Tico Texas birthday.
And Patrick.
Wow.
The nature of twins.
You guys want a Jerry dog?
I just stopped chewing the mic.
We're all chewing now. Yeah. AB, you got to take this, brother. KB, filibuster. Come on, KB. We're all chewing now.
Yeah.
AB, you got to take this, brother.
KB, filibuster.
Filibuster for us.
Give it a little Strom Thurman.
Shit.
All right, so we're going to add prank call to the wheel.
I think that's a good idea.
Boys game, boys.
I think we'll just have a separate wheel that hits where it's like.
What kind of place we're calling, what our issue is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like a Mad Lib.
There's nothing better.
I dream of a day where there's hardly any dry spaces on the wheel.
Yeah.
We just replace dries with antics.
The trajectory we're at.
Is it possible to get a wheel inside of a wheel?
Yes.
It's been done.
Actually, boys, it's not.
Tech's not there yet.
Really?
Not there yet.
Fuck.
There's like a wheel where you find out two things,
like a prank call of a mechanic shop
where you talk about this other thing.
A two-variable wheel.
Yeah.
The text's not there.
The text's not there yet?
Don't think.
The Dutch are close.
Let me look into it.
I'm getting there.
Jay is the little Dutch.
Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday little Dutch. Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
Happy birthday, Jerry.
How does it feel to get happy birthday sung to you?
It's the best.
Jerry, look in your pocket real quick.
There might be another dog.
Get out of here.
It would be great, though.
It's your birthday, though. Ooh. Wow. It's your birthday today.
Jerry!
That's nice.
It's your birthday today.
Jerry!
And you could tell no other names would work in that song.
No.
Jerry!
That's great. That's fucking great, dude. You're the best, Jerry. Thank you, guys. That's great.
That's fucking great, dude.
You're the best, Jer.
Thank you, guys.
It's great.
What kind of...
You probably want to split a second Jerry dog with me?
What'd you have...
What was your steak last night, Jer?
New York strip.
New York strip?
Medium.
Yeah?
What kind of crust did they put on that thing?
It looked like a nice place where maybe they put a little extra crust.
Oh, the crust was great, yeah.
Really?
I love when the flavor
is nice and sealed in
with a fucking...
The cat said it's the best
steak he's ever had, probably.
Really?
It was good.
It was very good.
I don't know.
Probably.
What would you say, probably?
I said that to Rico.
Wait, was it crust?
Oh, I said to Rico
to make him feel like
he missed out.
Was it Pittsburgh rare?
Pittsburgh has their own
steak temperature?
Yeah.
Then we had a controversy, too, because Danny Boy Hustle Hard.
Oh, yeah.
You might remember from picking up Antonio Brown from the airport.
Had lipstick on his glass when he got a Coke.
Yeah, he was very upset.
Self-given or pre-
Yeah, it was already there.
Someone else.
This was embarrassing.
It was.
That would have been.
And then I told him.
He's seen it as a form of flirting.
I told him afterwards, I was like, that was funny that I paid that waiter 50 bucks to put lipstick on your glass.
And he believed me.
I'm never going to tell him otherwise.
Retroactive pranks are the best.
Huh?
Yeah.
Taking ownership.
Tributing pranks.
How did you guys meet up with that guy?
That's one of my friends.
It's guys.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Get you anywhere in the city like that.
Does it not stop at red lights?
No, nothing.
We're in literally nothing.
It just doesn't stop.
I wish we were able to play that video.
I know.
Okay.
I don't think we can.
Yeah, it's bad.
No, we shouldn't.
We should ask him.
We shouldn't.
You guys weren't there?
Where were we?
I've seen the movie.
We're in New Jersey.
We're in Jersey.
The Hoboken House. No, no. Where were we? Where were we? Edge've seen the movie. We're in New Jersey. We're in Jersey. The Hoboken House.
No, no.
Where were we?
Edgewater.
We were in Edgewater, New Jersey.
And it's like, it took about 50 minutes to get there from Brooklyn.
He said to me at the end of dinner, he's like, I'll have you home in 10 minutes.
Did he?
No.
I drove.
Oh, yeah.
He said he could win the Daytona 500 in an Escalade.
I would bet it.
I would too.
What does he do when he gets tickets?
Do they know him or he just doesn't get tickets?
Oh, no.
So he has this scam where he knows.
You shouldn't say this.
Oh, okay.
Not a scam.
Well, say it.
Idea.
Say it.
What he does is he's close, like super close with all these NFL players.
And what he does is he gets their autographs and he gives them to the cops.
I don't think you should be saying this.
Why?
Why?
Everybody knows.
Okay, all right, cool.
He gets their autographs and then he gets them.
Who's going to arrest them, the cops?
Yeah.
Oh, here, Tom Brady rookie card.
Yeah, exactly.
Come to get me.
Yeah.
Hilarious dude.
Yeah, one of the funniest dudes I've ever met.
Great guy.
How'd you guys meet up?
How'd you guys originally link up?
It was through Saquon's agent.
Just through that, really.
How'd you link up with Saquon's agent?
He's just been like a fan for a couple years.
And Kenny's boys were there?
Yeah.
One of Kenny's boys invented, he was like, I got a great idea.
He describes it to me, he's like, I got a great idea. He describes it to me.
He's like, you know, Topgolf.
And I was like, yeah.
He's like, what if we do it for baseball?
And I was like, so you invented a batting cage?
No.
He's like, no, it's way different.
My issue with batting cages, I can't see how far the ball went.
Okay, so then maybe it works.
I do want that.
Yeah, okay.
I want to see how far I can hit it.
I love that idea.
All right, we're in.
We had a big debate the other night about pitching and how fast we can pitch.
What did we say?
I think I asked, or this was like I asked you guys for reference.
You said easily 60.
Easily.
You said 70 is where it gets hard.
70 would probably, I don't know if I can hit 70.
Not hit 70.
60 easy.
Jack McCarthy was saying that none of us could hit 40 or something.
That's crazy.
That's insane.
We've got to go to a batting cage.
Are you feeling better?
Oh, yeah, way better.
It was really weird.
It was like halfway through the yak,
and then when we finished recording Son of a Boy,
I had a 101 fever,, I was so sick.
It was the sickest you've ever been.
One of one. No, the rarest fever.
It was way worse than COVID, that's for sure.
And then I woke up the next day.
It is new. Warrior. Mint fever.
Well, in that way, it was a lot better than COVID.
In that way. Well, no,
COVID was like the same. I feel like I only had COVID
for like a day. My kitchen floor
is covered in blood right now.
What?
What?
I just sliced my toe.
The worst part is I don't know what.
It just gushed blood, and it set me into a fucking frenzy.
You definitely don't sweep your floor.
I didn't fucking cut it on dust.
I'm saying like-
There's nothing I could have done with a-
I couldn't have swept whatever I
cut myself off.
That's not true.
I think it was my
tile.
I think you could
sweep anything that
you can cut yourself
on you could have
swept up.
Not anything but
like other than
like.
What does it matter?
It already happened
Roan.
I'm just saying that
maybe a little bit of
sweeping.
It wasn't like I'm
not trying to learn a
lesson I just fucking
cut my toe open.
You're going to keep
on cutting your toes.
I was so I was
livid I was like I had to take my anger open. You're going to keep on cutting your toe open? I was livid.
I had to take my anger out on an anonymous Twitter account.
Is that how you guys got stuck there?
That was last night.
Deke sucker.
You really dug into him.
He pissed me off.
That was a good one.
Easy.
I missed all that because we were at dinner.
That whole thing really pissed me off.
KB tweeting is like an alarm in itself.
Holy shit, KB's on Twitter.
I made a joke saying that he was going to hurt my family or something,
and then he replied and he was like,
if your family is someone in your crew, I wouldn't be too sure.
That would be funny, though.
What are you trying to fucking threaten me?
That would be funny if you're...
I don't give a fuck.
It would be funny if your dad had a burner and was like,
sass misses all the time.
That pissed me off so much.
This guy sucks.
What a waste of a hot dad.
No one knows what he looks like.
I'm so slow for you guys.
What?
It takes me so long.
This isn't even your birthday, bro.
I know, but I just feel like
You guys are so fast
And you guys are so smart
It's like
I feel left out a little bit
Jerry don't
You're replacing Brandon
Come on
Yeah
Where is Brandon
Oh Brandon said he wasn't
Going to be in today
Yeah
You guys are fast
Sometimes I just pretend
I get it Jerry
I'll just
Oh you can do that all
We all do it
I don't understand any of it
Nick made a cotton gin joke Yesterday and I got it like 15 minutes later.
That's a lot of Nick.
You just got to give him the laugh.
Yeah, usually it takes me a couple minutes, and then I make eye contact.
Definitely give him the laugh.
Give him the laugh in the moment.
And you know that the laugh will come to you later.
And you'll laugh again.
Yeah, right.
Or you just repeat what they say.
Double laugh.
Double laugh.
Repeating works.
Your jokes are BOGO.
You get one laugh, and then you get another one later when you get it.
Nick's a notorious repeater.
I repeat you guys all the time.
You repeat us all the time.
All the time.
It's like ceviche.
I love hammering at home.
Hammering at home.
Nick, were you here for ceviche?
No.
Oh, yeah, you would have gotten that.
No, I don't think I would have.
You were thinking about names. No, it was because think I would have. We were thinking about names.
No, it was because it was delivered by Stephen.
No one even assumed it was at play.
Yeah.
Sometimes I have good ones.
Sometimes.
Wait, how was the repo, man?
Good.
Picked it up.
First appointment this morning.
This is going to be something you do more often now.
Hopefully not.
Very shady area.
Got out, got the paperwork.
It was pretty quick.
And then I had to sign a bunch of forms.
They gave me one piece of paper, and they were like, all right, they're going to bring it around in front in five minutes.
So I'm waiting inside.
They come around like Toyota.
I was like, yeah.
I give them the paperwork.
It's two guys.
One is in a neon vest, and the other one looks pretty muscled up. muscled up they have a walkie talkie and like all right he's good
and i was like do you have a sniper on the roof like what happened if i didn't give you this
paper and he just laughed and gave me a fist pen it's like all right see you later nice was your
son still alive uh my son is still alive was never in the car at that time what's up with the back
bay you got to pay back, right?
I had to pay a fee for them repossessing it.
Yeah, but what about all the months you missed on the payment?
Oh, yeah, I paid that.
Oh, God.
How many months was it?
Four, maybe.
Four months at $300 a month, though, you know what I mean?
Five months, maybe.
I don't know. $300 plus VIG.
Oh, the VIG.
Yeah, the VIG.
Yeah, that's probably. A lot of juice.
Juice. Juice, Vig.
It's your
birthday
today.
Jerry!
I got that one.
Yeah, see?
It's when you put the treadmill
on fast, you know what I mean?
Once your legs start moving, then you're running that fast.
We're, this show is like a fat guy on a treadmill.
Like every now and then we'll go up to like eight miles an hour to test it, and then we'll go back down to walking.
Yeah, yeah.
Just not talk for a minute.
Get off, yeah.
That's when we do the wheel.
It's called the Brandon Walker mile.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, no, he didn't even, what was it, a quarter mile?
The worst I've ever felt for a person. See that one guy who tweeted me?
It was like, I saw Big Cat run 5K on the treadmill,
and he motivated me to lose a lot of weight.
He's like, I've run 5K every single day since then,
and I've lost like 50 pounds.
And I was just looking at it.
I was like, wait, but I didn't get motivated.
I didn't lose any weight.
I just ran one 5K.
I think that man, he saw if you could run 5K, he could.
You're not the size to where I would be like, oh, if he could do it.
You're not like that.
Yeah, but I hadn't run in a long time.
Okay.
There's a place around the corner from here that's a virtual reality running, jogging, and walking place.
Wow.
I've never seen virtual reality walking.
I can do that without the virtual.
That's what I'm saying.
It's walking.
Like, you don't need to, like, sign up for a fucking, like,
headset that you put on so you can, like, walk through something.
Can I, like, walk in a different area?
You might be able to.
Probably.
Walk somewhere, like, more.
You know how some treadmills have, like.
Yeah, that shit is.
I've tried that, and I turned it off.
It was so annoying.
It's like a tiny-ass screen.
It's not like you're fooling yourself.
It doesn't help at all.
It's not IMAX.
This place might be immersive.
It might really be IMAX.
That would be cool.
I would like to walk somewhere else.
How come in those videos,
the people are always morbidly obese?
That you're walking past?
To make you feel good about yourself.
Yeah.
It's really weird.
What if you're getting lapped by some fucking...
I was walking around the Hollywood sign
and everyone that was going by me was like 400 pounds.
That's got to be a feature.
Batting everybody up.
That's so funny.
Batting everybody up around you to make you feel nice and slim.
Happy birthday.
I would kill for a sugar-free Red Bull right now if anyone's got one.
Why are you so tired?
I'm not.
I just want a sugar-free Red Bull.
You just want that?
You want to ride the bull?
I would love to ride the bull.
Here goes Pistoli.
Yep.
Gonna go grab one?
Yeah.
What a guy.
I would make my fucking week
if he did that.
Yeah?
It's gonna be warm.
I don't care if it's warm.
Just try to tell him
to just keep getting things.
Yeah.
He'll get anything.
Get a disease.
Yeah.
Including a Viva tattoo.
It's a dead cat.
Yeah. Find a dead cat that you kill with your own teeth.
Bring it back.
Look at him.
Look at him go.
No way.
Look at this guy.
All right.
Wow.
That is crazy.
I got to be honest.
He could have been faster.
I was joking, but wow.
The boy became the man.
That is amazing.
Fasoli just went up
a lot of points in my book.
What a guy.
Fasoli,
a little recap
on the fucking tour?
On the college tour?
On the sleep when you're dead tour?
A little recap?
What do you mean?
Get any...
Give a recap.
Recap, like summary?
You get any tail?
Yeah.
Anything crazy happen?
LSU was really crazy.
LSU was awesome.
Shout out Fred's Bar.
Fred's?
So correct me if I'm wrong.
Were you at ASU when there was a shooting?
Yes.
Okay.
What?
The party was canceled in Arizona because we were going to the bar and 20 minutes before
a gun went off in the bar.
Not great.
Wait.
A gun went off or there was a shooting?
Someone was shot, but the gun went off not on purpose, I guess,
but still you're not supposed to have a gun.
I don't think that's technically a shooting, right?
I don't know.
Security guard Mike was there.
Yeah, that's a Plexico.
It's a Plexico.
Just went off.
Yeah, was the gun out of or was it like in someone's waistband
and they shot their dick?
I feel like that's like the big – You can't cancel a party for that.
That's just an accident.
No, the manager got shot in the leg.
Oh, it was the manager.
It was probably his own gun, though.
So it doesn't sound like it was much of an accident.
No, it was a guy at the bar sitting there and then the gun hit the man.
So his weekend was ruined.
He wanted to make sure nobody else had...
Yeah, selfish.
I just got shot in the leg.
Gary, do charades of accidentally shooting your dick with the gun in your pocket.
Now you would react.
You're a silent.
That's a charade.
That is a charade.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to allow sounds.
I mean, the gunshot was a little bit.
It was muffled, but you could hear a little.
But his facial reactions are red dickless. Yeah. It couldn't have been anything else. Listen, the gunshot was a little bit, it was muffled, but you could hear a little but his facial reaction red dickless.
Yeah.
It couldn't have been anything else.
Dickless man, that was good.
Do it again.
Get the camera on his,
just his face.
Face, you didn't get the face.
Really?
A lot of face action.
Really hit him that you,
you are a dickless man.
No dick for the rest of your life.
Gaze of a eunuch.
Yup. It's like, it's pain mixed with shame.
Shame might overshadow the pain.
Shame is the worst emotion, I think.
I hate shame as an emotion.
I hate panic.
I would rather panic than be shamed.
I think panic is the worst feeling.
I would panic at any time.
I like a little panic.
No one likes panic.
Go to the disco.
Sounds like it's not real panic then.
What do you mean?
You know what I mean.
You gatekeeping panic.
You have fake panic.
You haven't really panicked.
You don't know panic.
I panic, dude.
You talking about panic attack or like you're late for a flight panic?
Late for a train panic.
Late panic.
I guess you're right because I kind of like that late feeling.
A little frantic.
Yeah.
It's a cousin of adrenaline.
There's some adrenaline involved.
A little perspiration.
Mm-hmm.
A little pit sweat for you.
But fucking, yeah, that other shit.
Molly is incredible.
Oh, yeah.
Yep. As far as like good feelings, yeah.
Up there. Day after Molly is incredible. Oh, yeah. Yup. As far as good feelings, yeah. Up there.
Day after Molly, though.
They'd be rolled for a Florida Georgia Line concert in Nashville when we were on the road.
It was their bar.
It was a cover band.
No, they weren't there.
You put up a Snapchat story asking for Mandy.
That's British.
I was trying to fucking crowdsource Mandy.
Is that the British slang for it?
Yeah, they call it that.
Mandy?
Instead of Molly?
Never would have guessed that.
We got to get you back on your British tweeting.
Oh, yeah.
I'll sub that.
White socks, Dave.
Like 15 times.
Any type of tweeting, really.
Or like Instagram posting.
Maybe you should just make your entire account
just ripping into Deke Zucker every single day.
It was McCarthyism what he was doing, though.
He's like, I have a list of people who are bad.
Well, I mean, we all knew that was going to happen.
And it's like, what do you—
You are a burner account.
Yeah.
You are an anonymous person hiding your identity to try to humiliate other people.
You are what you are trying to expose us for.
And he's talking about it like he's Batman.
Yeah, he's like painting it like he's Batman. He's just like on the fucking...
He's gaining this high degree of order.
And you think we all
the basis of the company is we all just
love humiliating each other and
disgracing ourselves publicly.
They think everyone wants that. I think he also thinks
that we're all in shambles right now.
Like, Deke, please don't release
the list. Yeah, like he's Batman, but
you're the Joker, baby. No one gives a fuck.
You are the Joker, baby.
Give us what it says.
Brandon definitely is on that list, though.
Oh, he said it.
Brandon knows how to work.
He said it went bad.
He said the list he got, like, five years ago, didn't he?
Correct quote from him.
Don't ever think you can hide behind a burner.
You will always fuck up and get caught.
And he tweets that from Deke Sucker.
Okay.
I have two burners.
I've said it.
I have two burners. I've said it. I have two burners.
I sent Kim and Young Sound Bob.
There's a...
I was trying
to get Mantis to room with Troy.
Our intern.
I employed some
burner accounts.
That whole saga. I will get exposed.
Mantis was looking for a roommate
and so Troy asked to be his roommate.
Detrick?
Troy Detrick.
He was a big Cowboys fan.
And you repurposed it.
Two squat racks.
I had a 3,000 follower account that I wasn't using, repurposed it as Troy.
Developed rapport with some coworkers.
Mantis needed a roommate, and you were like, like yeah I have two squat racks though
and I'm not getting rid of them
I felt bad
he was like still about it
what was he saying
he was like it doesn't matter to me
he's like yeah
let's make it happen
he FaceTimed like a number we had
I pretty much told him
I was running from the law
yeah
he's like that's fine
that's fine
he was hammering home
he just needed a roof
which was
that sounds so real.
Yeah.
Troy Dietrich.
Troy Dietrich.
I'm going to use my boy Sneddy's face.
I know a Sneddy.
What?
No, you don't.
I'm going to piggyback on you.
I've met his Sneddy.
You remember Sedeboo, the fat rapper?
Sedeboo, the rap sumo.
Where's he from?
He died.
He's dead.
Recipe Sede.
Sedeboo? No, he died. Dumb He died. Dead. Recipe Seti. Yeah.
Seti Boo?
No, he died.
Dumb shit.
Dumb shit.
Yeah, I don't know.
Right, hard stuff?
He was fat.
He was very, very fat.
Very fat. Hard stuff, then probably.
Gotta look after your ticker.
I wonder if he's still an active one.
You do, dude.
By the way, go to dudewipes.com.
Use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order.
Do you want to spin the wheel?
Yeah, we should.
Brandon's been kind of getting away with
there's not anything on the wheel
tailored to him having a really bad time.
Yeah.
Maybe he has to phantomly drink seven beers all the time.
Nick is getting his head dumped in a toilet.
That was yucky.
We all kind of got the shit slapped out of us from time to time.
There should be like a Brandon slice of the wheel.
Just kind of skating.
Brandon has to do the show in direct sunlight.
Oh.
Brandon versus son.
He's tough.
Fucking son.
By the way, when we golfed in Vegas, Nick,
we had a caddy who had golfed for the foreplay boys.
What?
A month before.
What did he say?
He's like, I fucking hate Riggs.
That's a dead giveaway.
I know you're lying.
We got a screaming match.
I tell you, this exact same thing happened to me.
I kind of like that Riggs got a bad boy image going around golf courses.
This kid came up to me.
He's like, yeah, I worked at Pinehurst this summer.
He's like, the foreplay guys are
awesome. Riggs is a fucking asshole, though.
I think Riggs just doesn't take
advice from caddies.
You always lead with a ton of love for Frankie.
That's what they all
say. I kind of enjoy it. You need one
bad boy of the crew. Yeah, that's true.
He's the man. He's the fucking man.
I have a shadow boss for life.
My apartment. Jake Lurch.
For Riggs' dozen jersey, because he's not competing. He has the man. He's the fucking man. I have a shadow box hanging in my apartment. For Riggs' dozen jersey, because he's not competing.
He has a jersey.
What's a shadow box?
It's like a framed jersey box.
And there's nothing in it?
Nothing right now.
Are we in the same region?
You and I?
Frankettes?
Better hope not, big bitch.
We're not.
Do we have a good draw?
No, ours is tough. They have a bye to start, because they're the number one seed. We're not. Do we have a good draw? No, ours is tough.
They have a bye to start because they're the number one seed.
We're the three seed.
Do we have a good draw?
I guess so.
We'll have to carry our weight, but yeah, we should do well.
We're the three seed.
We could be the two seed.
The problem with the Yak trivia team is no one's ever beat us.
We just beat ourselves.
Yeah.
I feel like Frank and Frank got spanked in the final.
No, they've never beat us.
No.
They've never beat us.
And is this next week?
That's fair to say.
Yeah, next week.
Office is going to be buzzing.
Is that?
I don't know if that's going to be airing next week.
No, but it's taping next week.
Yeah, yeah.
Why do you care?
Because aren't we going to be out at the end of the week?
How long are you not in it.
Yeah, but Ron is.
OK.
You're expecting me to
get to the finals.
I appreciate that,
brother.
Yeah, I'm just looking
out for my boy.
Love that.
Thank you, my dog.
Love that.
It's going to be it's
always tough to win a
whole tournament.
Yeah.
Survival of the fittest.
Yeah, that's a lot of
wins to get.
We're going to be out
next week.
I talked about it on
Son of a Boy Dad because there's a new show.
It's called The Most Dangerous Game Show.
Has this been announced?
It was.
Son of a Boy Dad.
Wait, am I going?
Who's hosting that?
I'm hosting that.
Say what?
Yes, brother.
You can switch places with me if you want to.
No.
Because I don't want to do it.
One day.
I think so.
Yeah?
Someone needed to remind me that.
That was gone from my brain.
Me too.
And I'm glad I brought it up right now because we would have just gone on without having you involved.
I gasped when I found out Sass was doing it.
I did too.
I don't want to do it at all.
You don't have to be shirtless.
No.
I know.
I can't believe you're doing it.
I texted Rome last night and I said, hey, I'm not doing this if I have to take my shirt off.
And what did he say?
I said, I've taken my shirt off like three times in the last like five years.
He literally has gymnophobia.
I said, I don't look myself in the mirror with my shirt off.
You said you fuck like Winnie the Pooh.
Yes.
I don't take my shirt off.
Wait, does that mean you don't take your shirt off when you fuck?
Nope.
Do you fuck like Winnie the Pooh in other aspects?
Because Winnie the Pooh fucks hard.
Yeah, he gets...
Where are you?
He gets stuck in a hole.
No bother.
Shirt stays on.
You can put your shirt on too?
Yeah.
Shirt stays on at all times.
You made your baby boy with your shirt on.
Yeah, just like...
You have a shirt, baby?
When she wants to feel like, you know, like I'm touching her, she just lifts my shirt off.
I don't like that.
I don't like that at all.
Shirt stays on always.
I just take your shirt off and turn off the lights.
I got back hair and shit.
We shaved that.
She's not looking at your back.
How is she looking at your back?
Oh, Jerry, a progressive-ass reverse cowboy.
She's fucking reverse cowboy.
Reverse cowboy just smashing the balls.
Penduluming the balls.
You getting reverse cowboy'd?
No.
Me on top?
You on top. Howushing the dick down.
How would she know about your back hair while you're having sex, Jerry?
Yeah, I don't know.
Describe one.
Self-conscious.
The mirror on the ceiling?
This is my biggest insecurity by a mile.
What?
My body.
You should definitely talk to me.
Your body is fine.
I agree with that.
I hate my body.
Me too.
I actually, when I was talking yesterday.
I don't care.
It's not up for question.
Yesterday when I was talking about how it was the first day that husky guys have to wear a shirt and it's a very hard transition,
there's a few people who hit me up.
They're like, what about skinny guys?
And I never even think about it, but skinny guys definitely have...
Transitions too.
Yeah, and they have phobias.
Oh, I'm not skinny, though.
That's the thing.
You're a little bitch. No, people think
I'm skinny. That's the worst part about it. So,
you're fat? Then I take my shirt off and they're like,
whoa.
That's a lot of stress. Are you worried about
people saying you're fat? I'm not
worried about it. It will happen.
Shit, man. He just doesn't feel chiseled.
We're just gonna have him keep his shirt on when he swims and shit.
Oh, and I'm also not doing that.
You just gotta let go. What are you gonna do? One of those guys wearing the fucking yellow penny during shirts versus skins. to have him keep his shirt on when he swims and shit. Oh, I'm not. And I'm also not doing that. You just got to let go. What are you going to do?
I'm going to be one of those guys wearing the fucking yellow penny during shirts versus skins.
Just have him touch it up in post.
Wait a second.
Sass, I need to know this because you were a big stan of tummy coming.
Like coming on your own belly.
So are you wearing a shirt during this?
No.
Okay, so you do take a shirt off for that.
Yeah.
Pull my shirt up.
Oh, no.
At the last second?
We've got to make crop tops for Dickens.
A great question, Jay.
Can we get a beat-off shirt?
You think I'm getting fully naked when I'm jerking off?
Yeah.
Landing strip.
Why would I get fully nude when I'm jerking?
Now I'm glad I found that out.
You tuck it up?
Wait, he wears his beat-off shirt.
You tuck it, you roll it up.
He's like, come on, you.
Like the soccer players, like the European dudes who wear, like, a little bra underneath.
It has to catch, like, it has to be in the splash zone still, though.
Now his just crawls out.
Like, this is a situation where, like, everyone's always like, oh, I feel like Sass is going to leave Barst zone still, though. This is a situation where everyone's always like,
oh, I feel like Sassie's going to leave Barstool.
This will.
I will leave.
But next week might be my last week.
So we've got to put it on the wheel.
What?
Shirtless.
Yeah.
Oh, I'll put it.
If I have to do a wedgie,
mine will be everyone take off their shirt for an episode.
An episode.
That'd be so tough.
Yeah, I'm not doing it.
Sure, you did it.
I shaved your back
You haven't seen it
It's back
It's not back
Dude I'm fucking a mess
Why
I'll give a preview
Oh no
Oh
Can we slow that down
We caught that on the phantom cam
Oh That's not bad Not bad at all Someone freeze frame that. Can we slow that down? We caught that on the phantom cam.
Oh.
That's not bad.
Not bad at all.
It's Italian.
Yeah.
That's a loaf of Italian bread.
Yeah.
That's a growing boy.
I'm 90% stomach.
Let's see it.
Give us a preview.
That's not bad, Seth.
Seth.
Most of it's tucked into my pants.
You got a fupa? I pull my pants up super high to hide it.
Some of my heavy bros do that.
It's more comfortable.
They change their waistline.
My heavy gals do that too.
I don't feel my stomach rolling over.
Yeah, the Chris Christie softball picture.
Can you pull that up?
Oh, that's brutal.
Fupa.
I'm still not completely sure what a Fupa,
what is going on.
Did he pour a bag
of M&M's into a box?
Yeah.
Or is it vice versa?
No, it was a box
into a bigger box.
Pull that up too.
The Chris Christie.
That's a bad one.
He's throwing.
There it is.
Fassy pose.
I kind of like how confident he was.
The problem is that's what I think that looked like.
That's that throwing picture.
Look at him getting his hips into it.
He looks like a water tower.
Oh, man.
That's really mean.
And we get the one where he's sitting down,
and the shit's just pulled up over his stomach.
Baseball game. Unfortunately, he's wearing a and the shit's just pulled up over his stomach. Baseball game.
Unfortunately, he's wearing a Rutgers polo in that.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, TJ.
How'd that go for recruiting?
It's not even under his titty.
Search M&M's.
Chris Christie M&M's.
He's like all lower body.
Yeah, the creases in his legs is crazy.
This one. He's pouring all lower body Yeah the creases in his legs Is crazy This one He's pouring
What is he doing
He's pouring
A bag into a box
Small bag of M&M's
Into a big bag
I'd have a nice M&M's
Yeah just more M&M's
Yeah
It's nice
It's easier to eat out of a box
You kind of can pour it
Without the
Structural integrity
It's not his first rodeo.
He'd be great on bar stools.
He would.
Bar stools.
We should get him in.
He's got like the proportions of those Lois Griffin porns.
I don't know what you're talking about, actually.
You do.
There was a time when those were all the advertisements.
This game will make you cum in five seconds.
It's like Brian fucking Lois.
Bet you can't cum.
Or it's like a dude with a dick that's seven feet long
and he's fucking a girl that's six inches big.
The cartoon getting fucked from the back.
We really shouldn't be doing that.
That shit's good.
I never budged, though.
Dick is going up to where the top of her head would be.
Those ads are funny.
That's what turns dudes on.
Dudes love that.
I'd love to make it to her cerebral cortex.
Yeah.
You can feel that in your Your frontal lobe
Spin the wheel
Oh yeah
Spin it
Are you going to be taking your shirt off?
I'm the fucking
Rone has a great body
You better
I take my shirt off if Rone took his shirt off
Like right now?
Eventually you just gotta let go
Right now?
Oh I'm never letting go
This has been something that's been going on for like 10 years
You should do it for part of your comedy act Right now? Oh, I'm never letting go. This has been something that's been going on for like 10 years.
You should do it for part of your comedy act.
Like when Chappelle tries out new stuff and they don't let you bring a phone in.
Yeah. Come to Sass's comedy.
He'll show you his torso.
On a courtroom scratch.
Honest, guys, what do you think?
Yeah.
Dude, I would sell tickets.
I know.
Arlington, June 3rd, June 4th.
Oh. Sass will be shirtless. Look at shit real quick. I know. Arlington, June 3rd, June 4th.
Oh.
Sash will be shirtless.
Look at shit real quick.
I just did.
Oh.
You going to visit the cemetery while you're down there?
Oh, yeah.
Pay my respects.
Oh, yes.
Spin that shit.
Maybe link up with Wale.
For sure.
Still got your Nike boots.
A lot of dry.
A lot of dry.
Here we go.
All right.
Legi would be awesome.
That would be so good to see.
The butthole usually bleeds, I think.
You just want to see a bloody butthole.
Can I just show you mine? Double B?
Hell no.
If you have hemorrhoids and they explode.
I don't understand hemorrhoids.
I just know they creep me out.
I get them all the time.
Stay on the toilet too long.
The folds of the asshole are like spokes. We knowids. I just know they creep me out. I get them all the time. Stay on the toilet too long.
The folds of the asshole are like spokes.
We know this.
We do know this.
Hey, stop.
Blood rushes into one of the creases made by the fold,
and since you're sitting there for so long,
you kind of just sit still and we'll create a pussy. I know what my challenge is going to be.
It's going to be Pop Nick's.
Oh!
You don't pop them, you lance them.
I didn't know they were...
Lance Nick's Hemis.
I could do that.
I feel like after that whole toe fiasco...
That's true.
Nick and I are...
Yeah, yeah, you've...
Doctor-patient confidentiality.
Yeah, we have that.
If you do anything...
And his Hemis are bad.
I got to dodge with a Hemi.
Fuck.
Maybe we spin the wheel again.
No, no, no.
I didn't have prank call on it.
Oh, you didn't have prank call on it?
Yeah.
What am I putting it in place of, or am I just adding it?
I think you have it dry.
We haven't had wet in forever.
I know, I've been dry for a long ass time You might just get wet for fucking
I haven't showered since the last time I got wet
Yeah
That was part of the deal
What the fuck is this
It's what
It's a text from someone who
A friend who doesn't follow Barstool
They said
People think you are the one with the burner accounts
Ha ha ha Just start it Follow Barstool. They said, people think you are the one with the burner accounts.
Ha ha ha.
Just started keeping up with the Barstool news.
Ha ha ha.
That's awesome.
Who's the friend?
Their full name.
Where is this?
Barack Obama.
Fucking.
Well, I think everyone thinks
you're the one with the burner accounts.
I guess I kind of acted in it.
I behaved in a manner that would imply
that I have a burner account.
That's wild.
It's like this is what got you into Barstool.
This saga.
No, I have a few people who don't follow it at all
texting me about it.
Then they saw this and they're like,
now wait a minute.
Yep.
They're into it.
Didn't that happen to Nadeau?
Didn't he get hired and they found out
that he had like a bunch of burner accounts
No
It's on video
That sounds like something
You just made up
Yeah it sounds like
You're fucking hating
I love Nadeau
There you go
Sounds like you don't
I do
But it's a funny story
Just so you know
Cuisine
He's not going to
But he could steal your girl
Probably yeah
He doesn't show where he eats
It's the best video.
Me?
If I worked in that office?
I would never.
I would never even think about it.
Not me.
You wish you a happy birthday.
So many other brats.
Did he really?
On Twitter.
I didn't see it.
Oh, that's respect.
That's respect.
I wish you a happy birthday.
I didn't see.
Last I saw it had six likes, but that was right when it came out, though.
There's probably more likes now. Probably more. Probably just a baseline had six likes, but that was right when it came out, though. There's probably more likes now.
Probably more.
Probably just a baseline of six likes.
I don't see that.
It's fine.
Maybe he deleted it.
Probably.
That shit don't make sense.
Let me see if I can find a jar.
To the bottom of this.
Nah, it's probably deleted.
Fruit is pretty much a dessert.
Yeah.
Fruit cup.
I was thinking my mom would always be like,
you have to finish your fruit if you want dessert,
which at my house was just graham crackers.
Oh.
I was like, these strawberries are closer to a dessert than these graham crackers.
Correct.
The tomato heads are going nuts in the comments.
Yeah, they are.
They are.
You had a pretty strict household. Yeah. Hold it me in the comments. Yeah, they are. They are. You had a pretty strict household.
Yeah.
They molded me into the man I was.
I tried to get a purple eye.
Not the man you are now.
Not the man I am now.
What molded this man?
Jerry, it's right here.
This current man?
This current man who molded this?
I don't want to blame Kratom, but...
Go to tweets and replies.
I think it was the Sopranos that just turned me into a maniac.
I honestly live...
I wanted to beat a cast member so bad that I tried to become one.
Last night when the Dave Portnoy show was very funny when Dave was like,
not like we're the mafia, and then he just described the mafia.
Five times.
Yeah, it was great.
He said, he's a main
man. I like that. People are saying
I'm a mob boss. I'm just saying if you do anything
I don't like.
If I retweeted that
Rico would be so mad. Oh so
mad. I should right? Yeah.
37 likes on it right now.
It's like a flow chart in my brain
constantly. Will this make Rico mad?
38 likes. Yes. There's just one line coming from a flow chart in my brain constantly. Will this make Rico mad? 38. Yes.
There's just one line coming from that flow chart, though.
It's just that that was the easy button.
He's mad at me. That was easy.
He's mad at me right now because he invited Kenny Pickett to his house for the Kentucky Derby next year.
I told Kenny Pickett at dinner last night, I was like, don't go.
Now he's like, he was ever going to go.
An NFL quarterback is going to go to Rico's house.
Is he a Tom's River boy or what?
Where's he from in Jersey?
It can't be Tom's River.
Ocean Township.
Ross Rhodes?
I don't know.
You see Glennie just walking by with one of his...
Only fans?
H-words?
Of his sex workers?
W-H-words?
Sex workers.
Yes, sex workers.
That's what they're called.
Sex workers, yeah.
I can't believe that guy, man.
Glennie.
Unbelievable.
Watching him prance around with a laptop to text girls.
He lost his phone on the trip. He did? Yeah. He was prancing around with a laptop to text girls. He lost his phone on the trip.
He did?
He was prancing around with a laptop?
He was a fiend for every hotspot he could find.
Really?
He was texting on his laptop.
I had never seen anyone reply to Instagram stories from a desktop.
We had to pull over at McDonald's so we could fucking apply to
Instagram stores
and use the
free Wi-Fi.
Just 13 miles
off the highway.
What else you got
going on for your
birthday?
Mom's taking me
to dinner.
Nice.
Yep,
yep,
yep,
yep.
You should get
some kind of
banana cream pudding
or some shit
for dessert.
Like a Nella
wafer on the top.
Nella wafer.
I'm done with
dessert.
We had so many
desserts yesterday.
What'd you have?
Warm apple crisp, key lime pie.
I left before dessert because I knew I wouldn't be able to get myself.
Chocolate cake, warm brownie with ice cream on top.
A bite of all of them?
Yeah.
Nobody touched the key lime pie.
Why?
I don't know.
I love key lime pie.
I would have. I know. I like it, too. I was I don't know. I love key lime pie. I would've.
I know. I like it too. I was just way too full.
I couldn't do it.
Bring it home? He's an eater.
I noticed that. That's one flaw.
Yeah? Oh no.
Oh, he didn't finish his steak. He left this
much of his steak. That's a pussy move.
Yeah, you can't not finish your steak and then go in on desserts.
I thought in like Asian cultures, like if you
leave a little bit on the plate, maybe even a little bit.
I thought that you were going to say it's out of respect.
Wait, what?
It's for the person who takes it back.
They get to have the place to fight.
Our Asian is talking.
Yeah, please tell me about my culture.
I'm pretty sure that.
Let's get the real Asian here, Jake Marsh.
That was a good one.
Nice.
I'm going like four miles an hour.
Can you call your mom?
And say what?
I don't know.
When we were on a Rediscovering America with Fasoli in Boston,
one of these ship captains just looked at Fasoli and said,
you're not white.
What?
Yeah.
I remember that.
What?
I was like, yeah.
He was like, yeah, I am.
Nah, not here you're not.
What the fuck? Maritime here, you're not.
Maritime law, you're not white.
Out of nowhere, too.
It was like a silence.
Damn.
They call that a sneak diss.
Pasola, you think you love your mom? Why is that a diss?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, what?
Jesus Christ, Seth.
Sneaky.
Pasola, you think you love your mom more than Jerry loves his mom?
No way.
Mom off.
You won't give your mom any of the cookbook
No
I love my mom
More than Jerry
Shout out Chris
More than Jerry Lo's his mom?
Maybe equally
Maybe we'll still live with her?
We should both
Technically all my stuff does
No you don't
Not like me
Not like me
Jerry lives with his mom
Not like you yes
You love Chris
Do you talk to her a lot?
Do you talk to her a decent amount?
Twice a day.
I like that.
Jerry, you talk to your mom twice a day?
50 times a day.
It's his roommate.
Sometimes you have roommates where it's a little cold war.
I just don't want to call her because I'm like, hey, birthday boy.
I want to see her mad.
You should call her right now if you love her.
It's really disappointing.
Oh, shit.
I don't call her.
I do love her. Talk to your mom. Oh, shit. I don't call her. I do love her.
Talk to your mom twice a day?
That's a lot.
Like, when do you?
Morning and night.
You call her?
She calls me.
I call her.
Wow.
Yes, honey.
Yes, honey.
What's going on?
Come in, honey.
What time is dinner?
Seven o'clock.
All right.
You got anything special planned?
No, honey.
We're going to that new steakhouse. All right. Steak and seafood house. All right. You got anything special planned?
All right.
All right.
Good.
Thank you, Ma.
I appreciate that. All right.
Let's get this.
Abort, abort.
That was sweet.
Hey, I'll talk to you, all right?
What time are you getting home?
I mean, I'm probably going to leave in a little bit.
Gerard, who are all those people? Which one was your Kwan Barkley's driver? I mean, I'm probably going to leave in a little bit.
Danny, Danny, boy, hustle hard.
That's his driver.
I'll show you when I get home.
I don't like this at all.
I don't know.
Do you know who Big Cat is?
I don't like it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen that in the morning Alright bye
My sister
Heartwarming
That was just business
That was a business call
It was nice to hear
She palled you
Is that nickname from has she caught you fucking like Winnie the Pooh
What what what is pal
Honey
Is she palled you Has she caught you fucking like Winnie the Pooh? What? Pal? Honey? Oh, yeah. No, I don't think so.
Has she pal-ed you?
Yeah, that's her nickname for me, pal.
Oh, I don't like that.
Why?
She's kind of giving it to him a little bit.
Like, hey, you're not going to have to come out of pocket.
Yeah, pal.
Yeah.
Was there an Igor in?
I'd punch my mom if she called me Igor.
Igor.
Igor and Frankenstein.
Fucked up.
Igor's Frankenstein.
But who was the other one?
If you love your mom call her then
Call her
Is she going to be weirded out that this is the third call of the day?
She's going to think something's wrong
She might be super sweet
Every time I call my mom she's like what's wrong?
It's like what time she answers the phone
Hey how are you? Good how are you? Good It's like what time she answers the phone. Hello?
Hey, how are you?
Good, how are you?
Good.
You're on live radio right now.
Oh, I am?
Yeah.
Why?
We're having a mom-off.
What's a mom-off?
I don't know.
Sully, it's your mom.
Stop.
I'm nervous. Tell her mom Who loves her mom more
What's up
Tell her what you're fucking
What are you doing
I don't think you've ever spoken to her
We're on the yak right now
Chemistry is unreal
Never talked to his mom
He's never met his mom
Never met his mom before
Hey this is Nick Fasoli
So why are you calling me
I just had to call you
I'll talk to you later
Twice a day That was a lie Wait wait Don I'll talk to you later Twice a day?
That was a lie
Wait wait
Don't I talk to you twice a day?
Every day?
Yeah usually
About what?
Alright
Alright I'll talk to you later
Love you
Love you too
Bye
I mean that was rough
Jerry wins
Jerry wins
Sass is in
Sass is in
Sass is in the competition
Call Ma
Jesus
Alright I mean The bar is low Jerry winning the MAMO. Sass is in. Sass is in the competition. Call Ma. Jesus. All right.
I mean, the bar is low.
I mean, I'll try.
I really don't want to.
So just concede the MAMO.
Nothing to gain, everything to lose.
I convinced him.
He said nothing.
He needs everything to lose, and he's like, oh, perfect.
I guess my hands are tied.
I want to have my mom's voice out there for the fuck.
Sickos.
Yeah, I'm not going to do it.
Does your mom have a real deep voice or something?
Yo.
Hey, Harry.
Hey, Harry.
What?
Son, hello. Hey, Mom. Hey Harry What Son hello Hey mom
Sass if you had to make a decision
And it was either
You would take your shirt off
On the yak live
Or have your mom take her shirt off
Should you be wearing a bra
What
What
What
What is wrong with you What? What? What? What? What the fuck, Steven?
What is wrong with you?
Outrageous question.
Outrageous question.
Outrageous question.
I don't see how far.
I mean, most people would just say.
Obviously, I would take my shirt off.
Okay.
That's great.
What the fuck?
You guys got to fight.
Yeah, you have to fight, Steven.
That's a question you said he would never want to do.
That is so weird.
Fucking brawl.
It's like...
I think you should make...
Call your mom and propose that.
No way.
It's a punishment.
My mom would cry.
Is your mom a crier?
No. Sometimes. When she thinks you're smoking pot. She thinks mom a crier? No.
Eh, sometimes.
When she thinks you're smoking pot.
When she thinks I'm smoking pot, yeah.
My mom called me crying because she thought I took a Xanax on the train to Boston.
I was sleeping.
What did I say?
What was the caption?
He said, he's barred out.
I was like, bro can't even handle his Xans.
Yeah.
Like that.
Just sleeping on the train.
It was a three-hour train was three hours your mom see that
tweet i have no idea are you barred out right now call me she's like tell me that's not true and i
said it's not mom like i delete i think i felt really bad about that yeah but uh she was like
how do i know it's not true like i saw a little sasquatch tweet it um oh i only take those when
i drink i remember roan posted a video of me on that train like reading bukowski and said like I only take those when I drink.
I remember Rowan posted a video of me on that train reading Bukowski and said,
I've never drank before.
And the comments were so mad.
How the fuck is he reading Bukowski
but he's never drank?
That is true.
You were like, at the time,
you're such a liar, dude.
Why do you fucking lie to people?
And meanwhile, you're just saying that Nick is on Xanaanax on the train i don't remember that at all fucking you're
such a liar because you i think we were going through a phase where you would lie to me on
the podcast to make me look like a goddamn fool yeah i'd be like yeah tiger woods is a baseball
player you'd be like what at all what would happen recommend like mind comp to him yeah
i was like oh i'll have to check that out.
I never heard of the book.
Sorry.
You said that?
Yeah, I said that.
And then before the episode came out, you were like, Roan, I caught it.
We're not keeping that in.
No, I don't think I did catch it until after.
Did you end up reading it?
I never end up catching it.
He read the whole thing.
He's like, oh, this kind of makes sense.
He got to the end.
He's like, all right. This guy really struggled. He got to the end, he's like, all right.
This guy really struggled.
He gets to the About the Author page at the end, he's like, what the fuck?
Backjack.
You said something like Michael Jordan or something.
It's like a hockey player.
Wayne Gretzky, I thought.
Wayne Gretzky.
But you sneak it in at the most subtle points where I don't catch it.
It's like, obviously I know Wayne Gretzky's not a fucking baseball player.
And then everyone's like, dude, I know Wayne Gretzky's not a fucking baseball player. And then everyone's like,
dude, sass is so stupid.
Oh, my God.
Ultimate sass up his head episode.
Or his ass.
I don't fucking...
Oh, no.
Sass up his head.
I'm gonna kill myself.
Sass up his head.
That made me stop.
Ultimate.
I don't even lie
in jest anymore to you. No, I'm happy. I'm happy we got over that. I don't even lie in jest anymore to you.
I'm happy we got over that.
I protect you.
I don't even joke.
It was becoming a trend, and I didn't like it.
You nipped it in the butt.
You nipped it right in the butt.
Dude, yo, I'm going to Disclosure tomorrow night.
I'm going Saturday.
Are you really?
I'm going Saturday.
What is that?
Me and the boy are going Saturday.
In Brooklyn? What's Disclosure? It that? Me and the boy are going Saturday. In Brooklyn?
What's Disclosure?
It's a music group.
Should have went Friday.
Yeah, we could have split the difference.
What the fuck?
Are you actually?
Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Thursday?
Some of my boys named Mike are coming up in town.
Better be.
Oh, you're going to come over for the hamburger draft?
I'm going to be here on Saturday.
I'm going to be here with bells on, dude. I'm gonna be here on Saturday's on dude
What is it what's it called Disclosure, what is it? What is it? It's a concert
About well, what's it about?
concert about it disclosed
Just asking people Is it about I guess you're right You saw that
Yeah what did they
Ruin concerts
I ruined concerts
What that was about
Billy Joel
What's that about
I guess like
What was the theme
Brenda and Eddie
That sounds dumb
Let's play the story arc
Real quick
Oh there's no concept
Okay
Okay I'm out
Making sure your concert
Passed the Bechdel test
Yeah
The two were
In reverse for movies
Like oh you saw that movie
What songs were played
Yeah
Give us the soundtrack
Yeah
Yeah
What'd they do for the encore
It's gonna be fucking sick though
No it's gonna be amazing
Oh it's gonna be so sick
Completely revamped
I'm not Tim Batecatter
Going on Friday
Yeah we're going on Friday
Are you going with Maresh
We're going tops off too Yeah Maresh're going on Friday. Are you going with Maresh? We're going tops off, too.
Yeah, Maresh is going, too.
Steven, I can't tell you how many times.
When you give me your Marine signals, I don't know what they mean.
Oh, sorry.
I gotta go.
No, I love them, but just go.
Give me the Marines.
Who did the edit?
Do the exact Marine signals you just did.
I just said.
No, no, no.
Don't use words.
I gotta go.
I'm going to heaven?
I have to tape the money shots at 2.
Heaven?
Why do you have to tape it at 2?
That's what time it's on.
You at Sammy Sosa?
Yeah.
You're leaving the act to go on money shots?
That's the only time that they do.
It's once a week.
So this is going to be a thing now?
No.
Is it going to be a thing?
On Wednesdays, yes. Every Wednesday you is going to be a thing now? No. This is going to be a thing? On Wednesdays, yes.
Whoa.
So every Wednesday you're going to be leaving the show early?
I mean, we're supposed to go to.
I'm not supposed to be there for Wednesday.
I actually have to go, too.
Are you part-time or full-time?
Part-time.
You're acting like part-time.
He's acting part-time.
All I'm doing is this.
All right.
I have to go, too, actually.
I have an interview.
Yeah, I think we have an interview.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow
Good show
Happy birthday Jerry
Thank you guys
New YouTube video
Go watch the new YouTube video
Go watch it
Go watch it
Happy birthday Jerry
Happy birthday Jerry It's the act It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
And do what Yankees love
It's the act
It's the act
New YouTube video links in the chat.
Go watch, please. new youtube video links in the chat go watch please
bye