The Yak - Jersey Jerry Recaps His Night With Kenny Pickett || The Yak 5-11-22

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

It Was Always the SteelersYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, look at that birthday boy. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy.
Starting point is 00:00:34 I sing now. We went to dinner last night, and Kenny Pickett was there. Jerry's quarterback. Nick's quarterback. My quarterback. And Jerry turned to Kenny Pickett in the middle of dinner, all serious. And he goes, can I give you a little piece of advice on the NFL? I'm thinking like money management, going to the fans.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Jerry just goes dead serious. Friarmouth is always open. He's not lying. He's not lying. He's not lying. That was his dead honest thing. Straight up, listen to me, Kenny. You throw it to Friar Muth, you're going to be playing a long time.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Attack the seams on a cover two. That's why I gave him my first three plays. Yeah, he punted three and out. Oh, he did. Give him again. It was a punt, three and out. First one was a five yard out to Pat Fryermuth That gained five yards Then it was a
Starting point is 00:01:28 I agree Why only five though? It's just a simple little quick out Why is it a tackle though? This is by design Five yards This is by design Najee
Starting point is 00:01:35 Najee run Loss of one so third and six We didn't say loss of one We said a gain and no yards Okay so third and five And then I would go back to Pat again Tackled short of the sticks Punt Well still that's two pitches for Pat though and we said a gain and no yards. Okay, so third and five. And then I would go back to Pat again. Tackled short of the sticks.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Punt. Well, still, that's two catches for Pat, though. Yeah, two catches early on. All going according to plan. That's what we usually do. That's the Steelers' dream. Yeah. That's fucking genius.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Steve, happy schedule release day. Was that today? Tomorrow. Happy schedule release, Eve. Eve, how are you celebrating? Good. Yeah, I'm excited. I mean, we know the opponents.
Starting point is 00:02:14 It's more of just a matter of travel planning and going to certain games. The Bucs are at the Steelers this year. Yeah, we'll go to that one. Steelers don't leave their time zone. They don't. That's crazy. That's crazy, yeah. Not once? Not once.
Starting point is 00:02:22 How? I don't know. They travel like 6,000 miles. Yeah. Lowest in the league by far. No jet lag, perfect circadian rhythm. Yep. The Seahawks are like, I want to say it's like 53,000 miles or something like that.
Starting point is 00:02:33 That's insane for them. Because they play in London against us. Oh, wow. Wow. Does the circadian rhythm fuck you up if you're just going to like mountain time zone? If you cross time. One single time zone? Atlanta?
Starting point is 00:02:45 It's going to be marred. You need to instantly ground. Take off your shoes. Have your shoes run in the grass. Even trot in the grass. A trot? It's iffy. How do you guys run when you want to make it seem like you're hurrying,
Starting point is 00:02:58 but you're not actually running? I move my arms fast. Legs go the same. Can I see it? Probably the same way I walked on the train today. Can I maybe see it? Let's see it. I'd like to see yours Legs go the same. Can I see it? Probably the same way I walked in the train today. Can I maybe see it? Let's see it. I'd like to see yours next, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:03:08 That looks slow. That's how you go? That looks cumbersome. Do it out there. In the front hall? Yeah, give it to us. Yeah, give it out there. Do it out there.
Starting point is 00:03:15 I couldn't really see your whole body. It's actually a very funny premise. I do the frantic like I'm... Here he goes. No, no. No, this is it. Give yours, give yours. I look slower than a log.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Is the premise again? You're acting like you're hurrying. For example, like the time is going down as you're crossing the street. Oh, I have a great crosswalk. And you want the car to think that you're hurrying. Well, you're just pretending to rush. You want to look like you're in a rush. You look like you're in a rush, but you don't want to be rushed. Not actually moving any faster.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah, you're good. A little bit further back. There we go. That was fast. That was a little prancy. That was a little bit of a prance. Wait, wait, wait. He didn't let up on velocity.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Follow my lead. Follow my lead when he walks back in. Hey, Big Cat, pause. He didn't let up on Velocity. Follow my lead when he walks back in. Hey, Big Cat, pause. Dude, mine, I don't know, boys. Mine is really, I like bounce my limbs a little bit. Hang on, you got to see this one. I'm like, my joints kind of bounce a little. But what's your pace?
Starting point is 00:04:20 It's the exact same pace. Exact same pace. Y'all hoes went fast. I did not go fast Part of this assignment is to not go fast How fast That's actually a cool challenge It's like rubbing your head
Starting point is 00:04:31 Oh that's good Oh yeah he is going slow Yeah he's going slow It's like rubbing your head and patting your tummy It's like moving your legs really slow And moving your upper body fast I don't think you could do it That was good
Starting point is 00:04:44 That was really good. Like an oral Hershiser change-up. Something like that. I don't know. I haven't seen Jerry's though. I didn't mind. That's how I was walking today from the train. Were you actually going fast?
Starting point is 00:04:56 You just wanted to see my face. So you were actually going fast, which is a little different than just seaming fast. Seaming fast. Seaming fast. Oh, there he is. Semen fast. Semen fast. Oh, there he is. He looks like the crosswalk symbol. He's like a zombie.
Starting point is 00:05:11 He looks like a zombie coming to attack us. You just need a shotgun. Jerry, Steven, can we bring in Jerry's present? Jerry. Present? The fuck? Is there not a big box? I got to have a big box.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Really? Wrapped? Yep. Wrapped and everything, my got to have a big box. Really? Wrapped? Yep. Wrapped and everything, my friend. Get out of here. Owen? Owen, Sass.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Owen. Late boys. Jerry, happy birthday. Yeah, we had a little bit of a mix-up. Happy birthday, Jerry. Jerry's present. Can we sing to Jerry? Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Get into it, Sass. Come on. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. This is for my guy, Jer. Hey, Jer.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Get up here and look at the camera with the present, and then you're going to open it for everyone. I've had two birthdays since I've worked here, and that's infinitely larger than anything I've gotten. Jerry. Crouch, crouch. I want to see you hunched over. It's from everyone at the YAC.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Crouch, there you go. We all got some money together. I hope you don't have it. That's what we discussed. Tell us if you have it. I had to use boxes from around here, sorry. So, yeah, it's a good tape job, you know. Yeah, you got to really rip at it.
Starting point is 00:06:25 There's a box inside. Oh oh the boxes oh yeah yeah forgot about that see the air holes yeah look at that classic little cat in there somebody's fucking did that one of you guys let me out now all right here's the real president another box hey I had to play a little prank on you with the boxes. You would know what it was by the size of the box.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Right, exactly. It's very obvious. You would have an idea. And rip her open. There's one more wrapping. Oh, no. Smaller items are typically more expensive, Jerry. Oh, look at that.
Starting point is 00:06:59 What do we got? Foil? Yeah, 10 hot dogs. Oh, it's hot dogs. Out of them. It's your birthday. Happy birthday, 10 hot dogs. Hot dogs. Hell yeah. Out of them. It's your birthday. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:07:10 At your own pace. At your own pace. Your time. Oh, I would love one. Actually, out of respect, I'd like a Jerry dog. Yeah, I'd like a Jerry dog as well. I'd like a Jerry dog. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I don't want a Jerry dog. I want a normal one. I'll take a normal one. Out of respect. Jerry me up. Yeah, I'll take a Jerry. Out of respect. normal one. I'll respect. Jerry me up. I'll take a Jerry. Jerry mine. I'll Jerry.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Thank you. No thank you. I'll Jerry, yes. I've never had a Jerry dog. Tastes better Jerry. They're so good. You can taste the hand. I hate to be picky.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Can I have extra Jerry? Oh, man. Thanks, brother. Damn. This looks like a breadstick. You got loaded with Jerry. Harry, I'll take one a little easy on the Jerry, though. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Fully loaded. Fully loaded Jerry. Extra Jerry. A little easy on the Jerry. Extra Jerry for the boy. He's growing after all. Oh, yeah. Bring it out.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Bring it. It's nothing but Jerry. Jesus. Stretch that one a little. I'm all set, Slick. He's out. Bring it. It's nothing but Jerry. Jesus. Stretch that one a little. I'm all set, Slick. He's good. He's cutting weight. You got to finish yours, Sass.
Starting point is 00:08:11 It's your birthday. I'm going to finish it. I'm starving. Why? You're going to start spending money on rent? Take care of my boy. Thanks, Jerry. Thank you, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Happy birthday. Generous with your gift. Thanks for being born. Excellent dog. Also, the Tico's birthdays. Yes. Oh, really? Yeah, Tico Texas birthday.
Starting point is 00:08:33 And Patrick. Wow. The nature of twins. You guys want a Jerry dog? I just stopped chewing the mic. We're all chewing now. Yeah. AB, you got to take this, brother. KB, filibuster. Come on, KB. We're all chewing now. Yeah. AB, you got to take this, brother.
Starting point is 00:08:47 KB, filibuster. Filibuster for us. Give it a little Strom Thurman. Shit. All right, so we're going to add prank call to the wheel. I think that's a good idea. Boys game, boys. I think we'll just have a separate wheel that hits where it's like.
Starting point is 00:08:59 What kind of place we're calling, what our issue is. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Mad Lib. There's nothing better. I dream of a day where there's hardly any dry spaces on the wheel. Yeah. We just replace dries with antics.
Starting point is 00:09:12 The trajectory we're at. Is it possible to get a wheel inside of a wheel? Yes. It's been done. Actually, boys, it's not. Tech's not there yet. Really? Not there yet.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Fuck. There's like a wheel where you find out two things, like a prank call of a mechanic shop where you talk about this other thing. A two-variable wheel. Yeah. The text's not there. The text's not there yet?
Starting point is 00:09:35 Don't think. The Dutch are close. Let me look into it. I'm getting there. Jay is the little Dutch. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday little Dutch. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry. Happy birthday, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Happy birthday, Jerry. How does it feel to get happy birthday sung to you? It's the best. Jerry, look in your pocket real quick. There might be another dog. Get out of here. It would be great, though. It's your birthday, though. Ooh. Wow. It's your birthday today.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Jerry! That's nice. It's your birthday today. Jerry! And you could tell no other names would work in that song. No. Jerry! That's great. That's fucking great, dude. You're the best, Jerry. Thank you, guys. That's great.
Starting point is 00:10:25 That's fucking great, dude. You're the best, Jer. Thank you, guys. It's great. What kind of... You probably want to split a second Jerry dog with me? What'd you have... What was your steak last night, Jer?
Starting point is 00:10:35 New York strip. New York strip? Medium. Yeah? What kind of crust did they put on that thing? It looked like a nice place where maybe they put a little extra crust. Oh, the crust was great, yeah. Really?
Starting point is 00:10:45 I love when the flavor is nice and sealed in with a fucking... The cat said it's the best steak he's ever had, probably. Really? It was good. It was very good.
Starting point is 00:10:52 I don't know. Probably. What would you say, probably? I said that to Rico. Wait, was it crust? Oh, I said to Rico to make him feel like he missed out.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Was it Pittsburgh rare? Pittsburgh has their own steak temperature? Yeah. Then we had a controversy, too, because Danny Boy Hustle Hard. Oh, yeah. You might remember from picking up Antonio Brown from the airport. Had lipstick on his glass when he got a Coke.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yeah, he was very upset. Self-given or pre- Yeah, it was already there. Someone else. This was embarrassing. It was. That would have been. And then I told him.
Starting point is 00:11:25 He's seen it as a form of flirting. I told him afterwards, I was like, that was funny that I paid that waiter 50 bucks to put lipstick on your glass. And he believed me. I'm never going to tell him otherwise. Retroactive pranks are the best. Huh? Yeah. Taking ownership.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Tributing pranks. How did you guys meet up with that guy? That's one of my friends. It's guys. Oh, wow. Yeah. Get you anywhere in the city like that. Does it not stop at red lights?
Starting point is 00:11:47 No, nothing. We're in literally nothing. It just doesn't stop. I wish we were able to play that video. I know. Okay. I don't think we can. Yeah, it's bad.
Starting point is 00:11:56 No, we shouldn't. We should ask him. We shouldn't. You guys weren't there? Where were we? I've seen the movie. We're in New Jersey. We're in Jersey.
Starting point is 00:12:04 The Hoboken House. No, no. Where were we? Where were we? Edge've seen the movie. We're in New Jersey. We're in Jersey. The Hoboken House. No, no. Where were we? Edgewater. We were in Edgewater, New Jersey. And it's like, it took about 50 minutes to get there from Brooklyn. He said to me at the end of dinner, he's like, I'll have you home in 10 minutes. Did he?
Starting point is 00:12:17 No. I drove. Oh, yeah. He said he could win the Daytona 500 in an Escalade. I would bet it. I would too. What does he do when he gets tickets? Do they know him or he just doesn't get tickets?
Starting point is 00:12:33 Oh, no. So he has this scam where he knows. You shouldn't say this. Oh, okay. Not a scam. Well, say it. Idea. Say it.
Starting point is 00:12:40 What he does is he's close, like super close with all these NFL players. And what he does is he gets their autographs and he gives them to the cops. I don't think you should be saying this. Why? Why? Everybody knows. Okay, all right, cool. He gets their autographs and then he gets them.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Who's going to arrest them, the cops? Yeah. Oh, here, Tom Brady rookie card. Yeah, exactly. Come to get me. Yeah. Hilarious dude. Yeah, one of the funniest dudes I've ever met.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Great guy. How'd you guys meet up? How'd you guys originally link up? It was through Saquon's agent. Just through that, really. How'd you link up with Saquon's agent? He's just been like a fan for a couple years. And Kenny's boys were there?
Starting point is 00:13:21 Yeah. One of Kenny's boys invented, he was like, I got a great idea. He describes it to me, he's like, I got a great idea. He describes it to me. He's like, you know, Topgolf. And I was like, yeah. He's like, what if we do it for baseball? And I was like, so you invented a batting cage? No.
Starting point is 00:13:36 He's like, no, it's way different. My issue with batting cages, I can't see how far the ball went. Okay, so then maybe it works. I do want that. Yeah, okay. I want to see how far I can hit it. I love that idea. All right, we're in.
Starting point is 00:13:46 We had a big debate the other night about pitching and how fast we can pitch. What did we say? I think I asked, or this was like I asked you guys for reference. You said easily 60. Easily. You said 70 is where it gets hard. 70 would probably, I don't know if I can hit 70. Not hit 70.
Starting point is 00:14:02 60 easy. Jack McCarthy was saying that none of us could hit 40 or something. That's crazy. That's insane. We've got to go to a batting cage. Are you feeling better? Oh, yeah, way better. It was really weird.
Starting point is 00:14:16 It was like halfway through the yak, and then when we finished recording Son of a Boy, I had a 101 fever,, I was so sick. It was the sickest you've ever been. One of one. No, the rarest fever. It was way worse than COVID, that's for sure. And then I woke up the next day. It is new. Warrior. Mint fever.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Well, in that way, it was a lot better than COVID. In that way. Well, no, COVID was like the same. I feel like I only had COVID for like a day. My kitchen floor is covered in blood right now. What? What? I just sliced my toe.
Starting point is 00:14:49 The worst part is I don't know what. It just gushed blood, and it set me into a fucking frenzy. You definitely don't sweep your floor. I didn't fucking cut it on dust. I'm saying like- There's nothing I could have done with a- I couldn't have swept whatever I cut myself off.
Starting point is 00:15:06 That's not true. I think it was my tile. I think you could sweep anything that you can cut yourself on you could have swept up.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Not anything but like other than like. What does it matter? It already happened Roan. I'm just saying that maybe a little bit of
Starting point is 00:15:17 sweeping. It wasn't like I'm not trying to learn a lesson I just fucking cut my toe open. You're going to keep on cutting your toes. I was so I was
Starting point is 00:15:24 livid I was like I had to take my anger open. You're going to keep on cutting your toe open? I was livid. I had to take my anger out on an anonymous Twitter account. Is that how you guys got stuck there? That was last night. Deke sucker. You really dug into him. He pissed me off. That was a good one.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Easy. I missed all that because we were at dinner. That whole thing really pissed me off. KB tweeting is like an alarm in itself. Holy shit, KB's on Twitter. I made a joke saying that he was going to hurt my family or something, and then he replied and he was like, if your family is someone in your crew, I wouldn't be too sure.
Starting point is 00:15:58 That would be funny, though. What are you trying to fucking threaten me? That would be funny if you're... I don't give a fuck. It would be funny if your dad had a burner and was like, sass misses all the time. That pissed me off so much. This guy sucks.
Starting point is 00:16:09 What a waste of a hot dad. No one knows what he looks like. I'm so slow for you guys. What? It takes me so long. This isn't even your birthday, bro. I know, but I just feel like You guys are so fast
Starting point is 00:16:26 And you guys are so smart It's like I feel left out a little bit Jerry don't You're replacing Brandon Come on Yeah Where is Brandon
Starting point is 00:16:34 Oh Brandon said he wasn't Going to be in today Yeah You guys are fast Sometimes I just pretend I get it Jerry I'll just Oh you can do that all
Starting point is 00:16:41 We all do it I don't understand any of it Nick made a cotton gin joke Yesterday and I got it like 15 minutes later. That's a lot of Nick. You just got to give him the laugh. Yeah, usually it takes me a couple minutes, and then I make eye contact. Definitely give him the laugh. Give him the laugh in the moment.
Starting point is 00:16:55 And you know that the laugh will come to you later. And you'll laugh again. Yeah, right. Or you just repeat what they say. Double laugh. Double laugh. Repeating works. Your jokes are BOGO.
Starting point is 00:17:04 You get one laugh, and then you get another one later when you get it. Nick's a notorious repeater. I repeat you guys all the time. You repeat us all the time. All the time. It's like ceviche. I love hammering at home. Hammering at home.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Nick, were you here for ceviche? No. Oh, yeah, you would have gotten that. No, I don't think I would have. You were thinking about names. No, it was because think I would have. We were thinking about names. No, it was because it was delivered by Stephen. No one even assumed it was at play. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Sometimes I have good ones. Sometimes. Wait, how was the repo, man? Good. Picked it up. First appointment this morning. This is going to be something you do more often now. Hopefully not.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Very shady area. Got out, got the paperwork. It was pretty quick. And then I had to sign a bunch of forms. They gave me one piece of paper, and they were like, all right, they're going to bring it around in front in five minutes. So I'm waiting inside. They come around like Toyota. I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I give them the paperwork. It's two guys. One is in a neon vest, and the other one looks pretty muscled up. muscled up they have a walkie talkie and like all right he's good and i was like do you have a sniper on the roof like what happened if i didn't give you this paper and he just laughed and gave me a fist pen it's like all right see you later nice was your son still alive uh my son is still alive was never in the car at that time what's up with the back bay you got to pay back, right? I had to pay a fee for them repossessing it.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Yeah, but what about all the months you missed on the payment? Oh, yeah, I paid that. Oh, God. How many months was it? Four, maybe. Four months at $300 a month, though, you know what I mean? Five months, maybe. I don't know. $300 plus VIG.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Oh, the VIG. Yeah, the VIG. Yeah, that's probably. A lot of juice. Juice. Juice, Vig. It's your birthday today. Jerry!
Starting point is 00:18:56 I got that one. Yeah, see? It's when you put the treadmill on fast, you know what I mean? Once your legs start moving, then you're running that fast. We're, this show is like a fat guy on a treadmill. Like every now and then we'll go up to like eight miles an hour to test it, and then we'll go back down to walking. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Just not talk for a minute. Get off, yeah. That's when we do the wheel. It's called the Brandon Walker mile. Yeah, exactly. Well, no, he didn't even, what was it, a quarter mile? The worst I've ever felt for a person. See that one guy who tweeted me? It was like, I saw Big Cat run 5K on the treadmill,
Starting point is 00:19:29 and he motivated me to lose a lot of weight. He's like, I've run 5K every single day since then, and I've lost like 50 pounds. And I was just looking at it. I was like, wait, but I didn't get motivated. I didn't lose any weight. I just ran one 5K. I think that man, he saw if you could run 5K, he could.
Starting point is 00:19:46 You're not the size to where I would be like, oh, if he could do it. You're not like that. Yeah, but I hadn't run in a long time. Okay. There's a place around the corner from here that's a virtual reality running, jogging, and walking place. Wow. I've never seen virtual reality walking. I can do that without the virtual.
Starting point is 00:20:06 That's what I'm saying. It's walking. Like, you don't need to, like, sign up for a fucking, like, headset that you put on so you can, like, walk through something. Can I, like, walk in a different area? You might be able to. Probably. Walk somewhere, like, more.
Starting point is 00:20:20 You know how some treadmills have, like. Yeah, that shit is. I've tried that, and I turned it off. It was so annoying. It's like a tiny-ass screen. It's not like you're fooling yourself. It doesn't help at all. It's not IMAX.
Starting point is 00:20:28 This place might be immersive. It might really be IMAX. That would be cool. I would like to walk somewhere else. How come in those videos, the people are always morbidly obese? That you're walking past? To make you feel good about yourself.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Yeah. It's really weird. What if you're getting lapped by some fucking... I was walking around the Hollywood sign and everyone that was going by me was like 400 pounds. That's got to be a feature. Batting everybody up. That's so funny.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Batting everybody up around you to make you feel nice and slim. Happy birthday. I would kill for a sugar-free Red Bull right now if anyone's got one. Why are you so tired? I'm not. I just want a sugar-free Red Bull. You just want that? You want to ride the bull?
Starting point is 00:21:06 I would love to ride the bull. Here goes Pistoli. Yep. Gonna go grab one? Yeah. What a guy. I would make my fucking week if he did that.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah? It's gonna be warm. I don't care if it's warm. Just try to tell him to just keep getting things. Yeah. He'll get anything. Get a disease.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Yeah. Including a Viva tattoo. It's a dead cat. Yeah. Find a dead cat that you kill with your own teeth. Bring it back. Look at him. Look at him go. No way.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Look at this guy. All right. Wow. That is crazy. I got to be honest. He could have been faster. I was joking, but wow. The boy became the man.
Starting point is 00:21:42 That is amazing. Fasoli just went up a lot of points in my book. What a guy. Fasoli, a little recap on the fucking tour? On the college tour?
Starting point is 00:21:52 On the sleep when you're dead tour? A little recap? What do you mean? Get any... Give a recap. Recap, like summary? You get any tail? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Anything crazy happen? LSU was really crazy. LSU was awesome. Shout out Fred's Bar. Fred's? So correct me if I'm wrong. Were you at ASU when there was a shooting? Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Okay. What? The party was canceled in Arizona because we were going to the bar and 20 minutes before a gun went off in the bar. Not great. Wait. A gun went off or there was a shooting? Someone was shot, but the gun went off not on purpose, I guess,
Starting point is 00:22:27 but still you're not supposed to have a gun. I don't think that's technically a shooting, right? I don't know. Security guard Mike was there. Yeah, that's a Plexico. It's a Plexico. Just went off. Yeah, was the gun out of or was it like in someone's waistband
Starting point is 00:22:41 and they shot their dick? I feel like that's like the big – You can't cancel a party for that. That's just an accident. No, the manager got shot in the leg. Oh, it was the manager. It was probably his own gun, though. So it doesn't sound like it was much of an accident. No, it was a guy at the bar sitting there and then the gun hit the man.
Starting point is 00:22:55 So his weekend was ruined. He wanted to make sure nobody else had... Yeah, selfish. I just got shot in the leg. Gary, do charades of accidentally shooting your dick with the gun in your pocket. Now you would react. You're a silent. That's a charade.
Starting point is 00:23:16 That is a charade. Oh, yeah. I was going to allow sounds. I mean, the gunshot was a little bit. It was muffled, but you could hear a little. But his facial reactions are red dickless. Yeah. It couldn't have been anything else. Listen, the gunshot was a little bit, it was muffled, but you could hear a little but his facial reaction red dickless. Yeah. It couldn't have been anything else.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Dickless man, that was good. Do it again. Get the camera on his, just his face. Face, you didn't get the face. Really? A lot of face action. Really hit him that you,
Starting point is 00:23:34 you are a dickless man. No dick for the rest of your life. Gaze of a eunuch. Yup. It's like, it's pain mixed with shame. Shame might overshadow the pain. Shame is the worst emotion, I think. I hate shame as an emotion. I hate panic.
Starting point is 00:24:01 I would rather panic than be shamed. I think panic is the worst feeling. I would panic at any time. I like a little panic. No one likes panic. Go to the disco. Sounds like it's not real panic then. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:24:12 You know what I mean. You gatekeeping panic. You have fake panic. You haven't really panicked. You don't know panic. I panic, dude. You talking about panic attack or like you're late for a flight panic? Late for a train panic.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Late panic. I guess you're right because I kind of like that late feeling. A little frantic. Yeah. It's a cousin of adrenaline. There's some adrenaline involved. A little perspiration. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:24:37 A little pit sweat for you. But fucking, yeah, that other shit. Molly is incredible. Oh, yeah. Yep. As far as like good feelings, yeah. Up there. Day after Molly is incredible. Oh, yeah. Yup. As far as good feelings, yeah. Up there. Day after Molly, though. They'd be rolled for a Florida Georgia Line concert in Nashville when we were on the road.
Starting point is 00:24:53 It was their bar. It was a cover band. No, they weren't there. You put up a Snapchat story asking for Mandy. That's British. I was trying to fucking crowdsource Mandy. Is that the British slang for it? Yeah, they call it that.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Mandy? Instead of Molly? Never would have guessed that. We got to get you back on your British tweeting. Oh, yeah. I'll sub that. White socks, Dave. Like 15 times.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Any type of tweeting, really. Or like Instagram posting. Maybe you should just make your entire account just ripping into Deke Zucker every single day. It was McCarthyism what he was doing, though. He's like, I have a list of people who are bad. Well, I mean, we all knew that was going to happen. And it's like, what do you—
Starting point is 00:25:32 You are a burner account. Yeah. You are an anonymous person hiding your identity to try to humiliate other people. You are what you are trying to expose us for. And he's talking about it like he's Batman. Yeah, he's like painting it like he's Batman. He's just like on the fucking... He's gaining this high degree of order. And you think we all
Starting point is 00:25:49 the basis of the company is we all just love humiliating each other and disgracing ourselves publicly. They think everyone wants that. I think he also thinks that we're all in shambles right now. Like, Deke, please don't release the list. Yeah, like he's Batman, but you're the Joker, baby. No one gives a fuck.
Starting point is 00:26:05 You are the Joker, baby. Give us what it says. Brandon definitely is on that list, though. Oh, he said it. Brandon knows how to work. He said it went bad. He said the list he got, like, five years ago, didn't he? Correct quote from him.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Don't ever think you can hide behind a burner. You will always fuck up and get caught. And he tweets that from Deke Sucker. Okay. I have two burners. I've said it. I have two burners. I've said it. I have two burners. I sent Kim and Young Sound Bob.
Starting point is 00:26:27 There's a... I was trying to get Mantis to room with Troy. Our intern. I employed some burner accounts. That whole saga. I will get exposed. Mantis was looking for a roommate
Starting point is 00:26:43 and so Troy asked to be his roommate. Detrick? Troy Detrick. He was a big Cowboys fan. And you repurposed it. Two squat racks. I had a 3,000 follower account that I wasn't using, repurposed it as Troy. Developed rapport with some coworkers.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Mantis needed a roommate, and you were like, like yeah I have two squat racks though and I'm not getting rid of them I felt bad he was like still about it what was he saying he was like it doesn't matter to me he's like yeah let's make it happen
Starting point is 00:27:13 he FaceTimed like a number we had I pretty much told him I was running from the law yeah he's like that's fine that's fine he was hammering home he just needed a roof
Starting point is 00:27:23 which was that sounds so real. Yeah. Troy Dietrich. Troy Dietrich. I'm going to use my boy Sneddy's face. I know a Sneddy. What?
Starting point is 00:27:34 No, you don't. I'm going to piggyback on you. I've met his Sneddy. You remember Sedeboo, the fat rapper? Sedeboo, the rap sumo. Where's he from? He died. He's dead.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Recipe Sede. Sedeboo? No, he died. Dumb He died. Dead. Recipe Seti. Yeah. Seti Boo? No, he died. Dumb shit. Dumb shit. Yeah, I don't know. Right, hard stuff?
Starting point is 00:27:50 He was fat. He was very, very fat. Very fat. Hard stuff, then probably. Gotta look after your ticker. I wonder if he's still an active one. You do, dude. By the way, go to dudewipes.com. Use code YAK20 for 20% off your entire order.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Do you want to spin the wheel? Yeah, we should. Brandon's been kind of getting away with there's not anything on the wheel tailored to him having a really bad time. Yeah. Maybe he has to phantomly drink seven beers all the time. Nick is getting his head dumped in a toilet.
Starting point is 00:28:22 That was yucky. We all kind of got the shit slapped out of us from time to time. There should be like a Brandon slice of the wheel. Just kind of skating. Brandon has to do the show in direct sunlight. Oh. Brandon versus son. He's tough.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Fucking son. By the way, when we golfed in Vegas, Nick, we had a caddy who had golfed for the foreplay boys. What? A month before. What did he say? He's like, I fucking hate Riggs. That's a dead giveaway.
Starting point is 00:28:53 I know you're lying. We got a screaming match. I tell you, this exact same thing happened to me. I kind of like that Riggs got a bad boy image going around golf courses. This kid came up to me. He's like, yeah, I worked at Pinehurst this summer. He's like, the foreplay guys are awesome. Riggs is a fucking asshole, though.
Starting point is 00:29:08 I think Riggs just doesn't take advice from caddies. You always lead with a ton of love for Frankie. That's what they all say. I kind of enjoy it. You need one bad boy of the crew. Yeah, that's true. He's the man. He's the fucking man. I have a shadow boss for life.
Starting point is 00:29:23 My apartment. Jake Lurch. For Riggs' dozen jersey, because he's not competing. He has the man. He's the fucking man. I have a shadow box hanging in my apartment. For Riggs' dozen jersey, because he's not competing. He has a jersey. What's a shadow box? It's like a framed jersey box. And there's nothing in it? Nothing right now. Are we in the same region?
Starting point is 00:29:38 You and I? Frankettes? Better hope not, big bitch. We're not. Do we have a good draw? No, ours is tough. They have a bye to start, because they're the number one seed. We're not. Do we have a good draw? No, ours is tough. They have a bye to start because they're the number one seed. We're the three seed.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Do we have a good draw? I guess so. We'll have to carry our weight, but yeah, we should do well. We're the three seed. We could be the two seed. The problem with the Yak trivia team is no one's ever beat us. We just beat ourselves. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:05 I feel like Frank and Frank got spanked in the final. No, they've never beat us. No. They've never beat us. And is this next week? That's fair to say. Yeah, next week. Office is going to be buzzing.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Is that? I don't know if that's going to be airing next week. No, but it's taping next week. Yeah, yeah. Why do you care? Because aren't we going to be out at the end of the week? How long are you not in it. Yeah, but Ron is.
Starting point is 00:30:27 OK. You're expecting me to get to the finals. I appreciate that, brother. Yeah, I'm just looking out for my boy. Love that.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Thank you, my dog. Love that. It's going to be it's always tough to win a whole tournament. Yeah. Survival of the fittest. Yeah, that's a lot of
Starting point is 00:30:40 wins to get. We're going to be out next week. I talked about it on Son of a Boy Dad because there's a new show. It's called The Most Dangerous Game Show. Has this been announced? It was.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Son of a Boy Dad. Wait, am I going? Who's hosting that? I'm hosting that. Say what? Yes, brother. You can switch places with me if you want to. No.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Because I don't want to do it. One day. I think so. Yeah? Someone needed to remind me that. That was gone from my brain. Me too. And I'm glad I brought it up right now because we would have just gone on without having you involved.
Starting point is 00:31:14 I gasped when I found out Sass was doing it. I did too. I don't want to do it at all. You don't have to be shirtless. No. I know. I can't believe you're doing it. I texted Rome last night and I said, hey, I'm not doing this if I have to take my shirt off.
Starting point is 00:31:26 And what did he say? I said, I've taken my shirt off like three times in the last like five years. He literally has gymnophobia. I said, I don't look myself in the mirror with my shirt off. You said you fuck like Winnie the Pooh. Yes. I don't take my shirt off. Wait, does that mean you don't take your shirt off when you fuck?
Starting point is 00:31:43 Nope. Do you fuck like Winnie the Pooh in other aspects? Because Winnie the Pooh fucks hard. Yeah, he gets... Where are you? He gets stuck in a hole. No bother. Shirt stays on.
Starting point is 00:31:51 You can put your shirt on too? Yeah. Shirt stays on at all times. You made your baby boy with your shirt on. Yeah, just like... You have a shirt, baby? When she wants to feel like, you know, like I'm touching her, she just lifts my shirt off. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:32:02 I don't like that at all. Shirt stays on always. I just take your shirt off and turn off the lights. I got back hair and shit. We shaved that. She's not looking at your back. How is she looking at your back? Oh, Jerry, a progressive-ass reverse cowboy.
Starting point is 00:32:14 She's fucking reverse cowboy. Reverse cowboy just smashing the balls. Penduluming the balls. You getting reverse cowboy'd? No. Me on top? You on top. Howushing the dick down. How would she know about your back hair while you're having sex, Jerry?
Starting point is 00:32:29 Yeah, I don't know. Describe one. Self-conscious. The mirror on the ceiling? This is my biggest insecurity by a mile. What? My body. You should definitely talk to me.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Your body is fine. I agree with that. I hate my body. Me too. I actually, when I was talking yesterday. I don't care. It's not up for question. Yesterday when I was talking about how it was the first day that husky guys have to wear a shirt and it's a very hard transition,
Starting point is 00:32:54 there's a few people who hit me up. They're like, what about skinny guys? And I never even think about it, but skinny guys definitely have... Transitions too. Yeah, and they have phobias. Oh, I'm not skinny, though. That's the thing. You're a little bitch. No, people think
Starting point is 00:33:05 I'm skinny. That's the worst part about it. So, you're fat? Then I take my shirt off and they're like, whoa. That's a lot of stress. Are you worried about people saying you're fat? I'm not worried about it. It will happen. Shit, man. He just doesn't feel chiseled. We're just gonna have him keep his shirt on when he swims and shit.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Oh, and I'm also not doing that. You just gotta let go. What are you gonna do? One of those guys wearing the fucking yellow penny during shirts versus skins. to have him keep his shirt on when he swims and shit. Oh, I'm not. And I'm also not doing that. You just got to let go. What are you going to do? I'm going to be one of those guys wearing the fucking yellow penny during shirts versus skins. Just have him touch it up in post. Wait a second. Sass, I need to know this because you were a big stan of tummy coming. Like coming on your own belly. So are you wearing a shirt during this?
Starting point is 00:33:43 No. Okay, so you do take a shirt off for that. Yeah. Pull my shirt up. Oh, no. At the last second? We've got to make crop tops for Dickens. A great question, Jay.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Can we get a beat-off shirt? You think I'm getting fully naked when I'm jerking off? Yeah. Landing strip. Why would I get fully nude when I'm jerking? Now I'm glad I found that out. You tuck it up? Wait, he wears his beat-off shirt.
Starting point is 00:34:10 You tuck it, you roll it up. He's like, come on, you. Like the soccer players, like the European dudes who wear, like, a little bra underneath. It has to catch, like, it has to be in the splash zone still, though. Now his just crawls out. Like, this is a situation where, like, everyone's always like, oh, I feel like Sass is going to leave Barst zone still, though. This is a situation where everyone's always like, oh, I feel like Sassie's going to leave Barstool. This will.
Starting point is 00:34:29 I will leave. But next week might be my last week. So we've got to put it on the wheel. What? Shirtless. Yeah. Oh, I'll put it. If I have to do a wedgie,
Starting point is 00:34:37 mine will be everyone take off their shirt for an episode. An episode. That'd be so tough. Yeah, I'm not doing it. Sure, you did it. I shaved your back You haven't seen it It's back
Starting point is 00:34:48 It's not back Dude I'm fucking a mess Why I'll give a preview Oh no Oh Can we slow that down We caught that on the phantom cam
Starting point is 00:35:04 Oh That's not bad Not bad at all Someone freeze frame that. Can we slow that down? We caught that on the phantom cam. Oh. That's not bad. Not bad at all. It's Italian. Yeah. That's a loaf of Italian bread. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:15 That's a growing boy. I'm 90% stomach. Let's see it. Give us a preview. That's not bad, Seth. Seth. Most of it's tucked into my pants. You got a fupa? I pull my pants up super high to hide it.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Some of my heavy bros do that. It's more comfortable. They change their waistline. My heavy gals do that too. I don't feel my stomach rolling over. Yeah, the Chris Christie softball picture. Can you pull that up? Oh, that's brutal.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Fupa. I'm still not completely sure what a Fupa, what is going on. Did he pour a bag of M&M's into a box? Yeah. Or is it vice versa? No, it was a box
Starting point is 00:35:53 into a bigger box. Pull that up too. The Chris Christie. That's a bad one. He's throwing. There it is. Fassy pose. I kind of like how confident he was.
Starting point is 00:36:10 The problem is that's what I think that looked like. That's that throwing picture. Look at him getting his hips into it. He looks like a water tower. Oh, man. That's really mean. And we get the one where he's sitting down, and the shit's just pulled up over his stomach.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Baseball game. Unfortunately, he's wearing a and the shit's just pulled up over his stomach. Baseball game. Unfortunately, he's wearing a Rutgers polo in that. Oh, no. Oh, no, TJ. How'd that go for recruiting? It's not even under his titty. Search M&M's. Chris Christie M&M's.
Starting point is 00:36:41 He's like all lower body. Yeah, the creases in his legs is crazy. This one. He's pouring all lower body Yeah the creases in his legs Is crazy This one He's pouring What is he doing He's pouring A bag into a box Small bag of M&M's Into a big bag
Starting point is 00:36:56 I'd have a nice M&M's Yeah just more M&M's Yeah It's nice It's easier to eat out of a box You kind of can pour it Without the Structural integrity
Starting point is 00:37:04 It's not his first rodeo. He'd be great on bar stools. He would. Bar stools. We should get him in. He's got like the proportions of those Lois Griffin porns. I don't know what you're talking about, actually. You do.
Starting point is 00:37:19 There was a time when those were all the advertisements. This game will make you cum in five seconds. It's like Brian fucking Lois. Bet you can't cum. Or it's like a dude with a dick that's seven feet long and he's fucking a girl that's six inches big. The cartoon getting fucked from the back. We really shouldn't be doing that.
Starting point is 00:37:43 That shit's good. I never budged, though. Dick is going up to where the top of her head would be. Those ads are funny. That's what turns dudes on. Dudes love that. I'd love to make it to her cerebral cortex. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:02 You can feel that in your Your frontal lobe Spin the wheel Oh yeah Spin it Are you going to be taking your shirt off? I'm the fucking Rone has a great body You better
Starting point is 00:38:14 I take my shirt off if Rone took his shirt off Like right now? Eventually you just gotta let go Right now? Oh I'm never letting go This has been something that's been going on for like 10 years You should do it for part of your comedy act Right now? Oh, I'm never letting go. This has been something that's been going on for like 10 years. You should do it for part of your comedy act.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Like when Chappelle tries out new stuff and they don't let you bring a phone in. Yeah. Come to Sass's comedy. He'll show you his torso. On a courtroom scratch. Honest, guys, what do you think? Yeah. Dude, I would sell tickets. I know.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Arlington, June 3rd, June 4th. Oh. Sass will be shirtless. Look at shit real quick. I know. Arlington, June 3rd, June 4th. Oh. Sash will be shirtless. Look at shit real quick. I just did. Oh. You going to visit the cemetery while you're down there?
Starting point is 00:38:54 Oh, yeah. Pay my respects. Oh, yes. Spin that shit. Maybe link up with Wale. For sure. Still got your Nike boots. A lot of dry.
Starting point is 00:39:02 A lot of dry. Here we go. All right. Legi would be awesome. That would be so good to see. The butthole usually bleeds, I think. You just want to see a bloody butthole. Can I just show you mine? Double B?
Starting point is 00:39:15 Hell no. If you have hemorrhoids and they explode. I don't understand hemorrhoids. I just know they creep me out. I get them all the time. Stay on the toilet too long. The folds of the asshole are like spokes. We knowids. I just know they creep me out. I get them all the time. Stay on the toilet too long. The folds of the asshole are like spokes.
Starting point is 00:39:28 We know this. We do know this. Hey, stop. Blood rushes into one of the creases made by the fold, and since you're sitting there for so long, you kind of just sit still and we'll create a pussy. I know what my challenge is going to be. It's going to be Pop Nick's. Oh!
Starting point is 00:39:45 You don't pop them, you lance them. I didn't know they were... Lance Nick's Hemis. I could do that. I feel like after that whole toe fiasco... That's true. Nick and I are... Yeah, yeah, you've...
Starting point is 00:39:56 Doctor-patient confidentiality. Yeah, we have that. If you do anything... And his Hemis are bad. I got to dodge with a Hemi. Fuck. Maybe we spin the wheel again. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:40:10 I didn't have prank call on it. Oh, you didn't have prank call on it? Yeah. What am I putting it in place of, or am I just adding it? I think you have it dry. We haven't had wet in forever. I know, I've been dry for a long ass time You might just get wet for fucking I haven't showered since the last time I got wet
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah That was part of the deal What the fuck is this It's what It's a text from someone who A friend who doesn't follow Barstool They said People think you are the one with the burner accounts
Starting point is 00:40:44 Ha ha ha Just start it Follow Barstool. They said, people think you are the one with the burner accounts. Ha ha ha. Just started keeping up with the Barstool news. Ha ha ha. That's awesome. Who's the friend? Their full name. Where is this?
Starting point is 00:40:57 Barack Obama. Fucking. Well, I think everyone thinks you're the one with the burner accounts. I guess I kind of acted in it. I behaved in a manner that would imply that I have a burner account. That's wild.
Starting point is 00:41:09 It's like this is what got you into Barstool. This saga. No, I have a few people who don't follow it at all texting me about it. Then they saw this and they're like, now wait a minute. Yep. They're into it.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Didn't that happen to Nadeau? Didn't he get hired and they found out that he had like a bunch of burner accounts No It's on video That sounds like something You just made up Yeah it sounds like
Starting point is 00:41:31 You're fucking hating I love Nadeau There you go Sounds like you don't I do But it's a funny story Just so you know Cuisine
Starting point is 00:41:38 He's not going to But he could steal your girl Probably yeah He doesn't show where he eats It's the best video. Me? If I worked in that office? I would never.
Starting point is 00:41:48 I would never even think about it. Not me. You wish you a happy birthday. So many other brats. Did he really? On Twitter. I didn't see it. Oh, that's respect.
Starting point is 00:41:57 That's respect. I wish you a happy birthday. I didn't see. Last I saw it had six likes, but that was right when it came out, though. There's probably more likes now. Probably more. Probably just a baseline had six likes, but that was right when it came out, though. There's probably more likes now. Probably more. Probably just a baseline of six likes. I don't see that.
Starting point is 00:42:11 It's fine. Maybe he deleted it. Probably. That shit don't make sense. Let me see if I can find a jar. To the bottom of this. Nah, it's probably deleted. Fruit is pretty much a dessert.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Yeah. Fruit cup. I was thinking my mom would always be like, you have to finish your fruit if you want dessert, which at my house was just graham crackers. Oh. I was like, these strawberries are closer to a dessert than these graham crackers. Correct.
Starting point is 00:42:39 The tomato heads are going nuts in the comments. Yeah, they are. They are. You had a pretty strict household. Yeah. Hold it me in the comments. Yeah, they are. They are. You had a pretty strict household. Yeah. They molded me into the man I was. I tried to get a purple eye. Not the man you are now.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Not the man I am now. What molded this man? Jerry, it's right here. This current man? This current man who molded this? I don't want to blame Kratom, but... Go to tweets and replies. I think it was the Sopranos that just turned me into a maniac.
Starting point is 00:43:09 I honestly live... I wanted to beat a cast member so bad that I tried to become one. Last night when the Dave Portnoy show was very funny when Dave was like, not like we're the mafia, and then he just described the mafia. Five times. Yeah, it was great. He said, he's a main man. I like that. People are saying
Starting point is 00:43:27 I'm a mob boss. I'm just saying if you do anything I don't like. If I retweeted that Rico would be so mad. Oh so mad. I should right? Yeah. 37 likes on it right now. It's like a flow chart in my brain constantly. Will this make Rico mad?
Starting point is 00:43:44 38 likes. Yes. There's just one line coming from a flow chart in my brain constantly. Will this make Rico mad? 38. Yes. There's just one line coming from that flow chart, though. It's just that that was the easy button. He's mad at me. That was easy. He's mad at me right now because he invited Kenny Pickett to his house for the Kentucky Derby next year. I told Kenny Pickett at dinner last night, I was like, don't go. Now he's like, he was ever going to go. An NFL quarterback is going to go to Rico's house.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Is he a Tom's River boy or what? Where's he from in Jersey? It can't be Tom's River. Ocean Township. Ross Rhodes? I don't know. You see Glennie just walking by with one of his... Only fans?
Starting point is 00:44:27 H-words? Of his sex workers? W-H-words? Sex workers. Yes, sex workers. That's what they're called. Sex workers, yeah. I can't believe that guy, man.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Glennie. Unbelievable. Watching him prance around with a laptop to text girls. He lost his phone on the trip. He did? Yeah. He was prancing around with a laptop to text girls. He lost his phone on the trip. He did? He was prancing around with a laptop? He was a fiend for every hotspot he could find. Really?
Starting point is 00:44:53 He was texting on his laptop. I had never seen anyone reply to Instagram stories from a desktop. We had to pull over at McDonald's so we could fucking apply to Instagram stores and use the free Wi-Fi. Just 13 miles off the highway.
Starting point is 00:45:12 What else you got going on for your birthday? Mom's taking me to dinner. Nice. Yep, yep,
Starting point is 00:45:17 yep, yep. You should get some kind of banana cream pudding or some shit for dessert. Like a Nella
Starting point is 00:45:21 wafer on the top. Nella wafer. I'm done with dessert. We had so many desserts yesterday. What'd you have? Warm apple crisp, key lime pie.
Starting point is 00:45:29 I left before dessert because I knew I wouldn't be able to get myself. Chocolate cake, warm brownie with ice cream on top. A bite of all of them? Yeah. Nobody touched the key lime pie. Why? I don't know. I love key lime pie.
Starting point is 00:45:44 I would have. I know. I like it, too. I was I don't know. I love key lime pie. I would've. I know. I like it too. I was just way too full. I couldn't do it. Bring it home? He's an eater. I noticed that. That's one flaw. Yeah? Oh no. Oh, he didn't finish his steak. He left this much of his steak. That's a pussy move.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Yeah, you can't not finish your steak and then go in on desserts. I thought in like Asian cultures, like if you leave a little bit on the plate, maybe even a little bit. I thought that you were going to say it's out of respect. Wait, what? It's for the person who takes it back. They get to have the place to fight. Our Asian is talking.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Yeah, please tell me about my culture. I'm pretty sure that. Let's get the real Asian here, Jake Marsh. That was a good one. Nice. I'm going like four miles an hour. Can you call your mom? And say what?
Starting point is 00:46:27 I don't know. When we were on a Rediscovering America with Fasoli in Boston, one of these ship captains just looked at Fasoli and said, you're not white. What? Yeah. I remember that. What?
Starting point is 00:46:39 I was like, yeah. He was like, yeah, I am. Nah, not here you're not. What the fuck? Maritime here, you're not. Maritime law, you're not white. Out of nowhere, too. It was like a silence. Damn.
Starting point is 00:46:54 They call that a sneak diss. Pasola, you think you love your mom? Why is that a diss? Oh, shit. Yeah, what? Jesus Christ, Seth. Sneaky. Pasola, you think you love your mom more than Jerry loves his mom? No way.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Mom off. You won't give your mom any of the cookbook No I love my mom More than Jerry Shout out Chris More than Jerry Lo's his mom? Maybe equally
Starting point is 00:47:13 Maybe we'll still live with her? We should both Technically all my stuff does No you don't Not like me Not like me Jerry lives with his mom Not like you yes
Starting point is 00:47:23 You love Chris Do you talk to her a lot? Do you talk to her a decent amount? Twice a day. I like that. Jerry, you talk to your mom twice a day? 50 times a day. It's his roommate.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Sometimes you have roommates where it's a little cold war. I just don't want to call her because I'm like, hey, birthday boy. I want to see her mad. You should call her right now if you love her. It's really disappointing. Oh, shit. I don't call her. I do love her. Talk to your mom. Oh, shit. I don't call her. I do love her.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Talk to your mom twice a day? That's a lot. Like, when do you? Morning and night. You call her? She calls me. I call her. Wow.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Yes, honey. Yes, honey. What's going on? Come in, honey. What time is dinner? Seven o'clock. All right. You got anything special planned?
Starting point is 00:48:03 No, honey. We're going to that new steakhouse. All right. Steak and seafood house. All right. You got anything special planned? All right. All right. Good. Thank you, Ma. I appreciate that. All right. Let's get this.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Abort, abort. That was sweet. Hey, I'll talk to you, all right? What time are you getting home? I mean, I'm probably going to leave in a little bit. Gerard, who are all those people? Which one was your Kwan Barkley's driver? I mean, I'm probably going to leave in a little bit. Danny, Danny, boy, hustle hard. That's his driver.
Starting point is 00:48:37 I'll show you when I get home. I don't like this at all. I don't know. Do you know who Big Cat is? I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that in the morning Alright bye My sister
Starting point is 00:48:49 Heartwarming That was just business That was a business call It was nice to hear She palled you Is that nickname from has she caught you fucking like Winnie the Pooh What what what is pal Honey
Starting point is 00:49:03 Is she palled you Has she caught you fucking like Winnie the Pooh? What? Pal? Honey? Oh, yeah. No, I don't think so. Has she pal-ed you? Yeah, that's her nickname for me, pal. Oh, I don't like that. Why? She's kind of giving it to him a little bit. Like, hey, you're not going to have to come out of pocket. Yeah, pal.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Yeah. Was there an Igor in? I'd punch my mom if she called me Igor. Igor. Igor and Frankenstein. Fucked up. Igor's Frankenstein. But who was the other one?
Starting point is 00:49:25 If you love your mom call her then Call her Is she going to be weirded out that this is the third call of the day? She's going to think something's wrong She might be super sweet Every time I call my mom she's like what's wrong? It's like what time she answers the phone Hey how are you? Good how are you? Good It's like what time she answers the phone. Hello?
Starting point is 00:49:46 Hey, how are you? Good, how are you? Good. You're on live radio right now. Oh, I am? Yeah. Why? We're having a mom-off.
Starting point is 00:49:58 What's a mom-off? I don't know. Sully, it's your mom. Stop. I'm nervous. Tell her mom Who loves her mom more What's up Tell her what you're fucking What are you doing
Starting point is 00:50:10 I don't think you've ever spoken to her We're on the yak right now Chemistry is unreal Never talked to his mom He's never met his mom Never met his mom before Hey this is Nick Fasoli So why are you calling me
Starting point is 00:50:22 I just had to call you I'll talk to you later Twice a day That was a lie Wait wait Don I'll talk to you later Twice a day? That was a lie Wait wait Don't I talk to you twice a day? Every day? Yeah usually
Starting point is 00:50:31 About what? Alright Alright I'll talk to you later Love you Love you too Bye I mean that was rough Jerry wins
Starting point is 00:50:39 Jerry wins Sass is in Sass is in Sass is in the competition Call Ma Jesus Alright I mean The bar is low Jerry winning the MAMO. Sass is in. Sass is in the competition. Call Ma. Jesus. All right. I mean, the bar is low.
Starting point is 00:50:49 I mean, I'll try. I really don't want to. So just concede the MAMO. Nothing to gain, everything to lose. I convinced him. He said nothing. He needs everything to lose, and he's like, oh, perfect. I guess my hands are tied.
Starting point is 00:51:08 I want to have my mom's voice out there for the fuck. Sickos. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Does your mom have a real deep voice or something? Yo. Hey, Harry. Hey, Harry. What?
Starting point is 00:51:26 Son, hello. Hey, Mom. Hey Harry What Son hello Hey mom Sass if you had to make a decision And it was either You would take your shirt off On the yak live Or have your mom take her shirt off Should you be wearing a bra What
Starting point is 00:51:41 What What What is wrong with you What? What? What? What? What the fuck, Steven? What is wrong with you? Outrageous question. Outrageous question. Outrageous question. I don't see how far.
Starting point is 00:51:54 I mean, most people would just say. Obviously, I would take my shirt off. Okay. That's great. What the fuck? You guys got to fight. Yeah, you have to fight, Steven. That's a question you said he would never want to do.
Starting point is 00:52:08 That is so weird. Fucking brawl. It's like... I think you should make... Call your mom and propose that. No way. It's a punishment. My mom would cry.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Is your mom a crier? No. Sometimes. When she thinks you're smoking pot. She thinks mom a crier? No. Eh, sometimes. When she thinks you're smoking pot. When she thinks I'm smoking pot, yeah. My mom called me crying because she thought I took a Xanax on the train to Boston. I was sleeping. What did I say?
Starting point is 00:52:36 What was the caption? He said, he's barred out. I was like, bro can't even handle his Xans. Yeah. Like that. Just sleeping on the train. It was a three-hour train was three hours your mom see that tweet i have no idea are you barred out right now call me she's like tell me that's not true and i
Starting point is 00:52:50 said it's not mom like i delete i think i felt really bad about that yeah but uh she was like how do i know it's not true like i saw a little sasquatch tweet it um oh i only take those when i drink i remember roan posted a video of me on that train like reading bukowski and said like I only take those when I drink. I remember Rowan posted a video of me on that train reading Bukowski and said, I've never drank before. And the comments were so mad. How the fuck is he reading Bukowski but he's never drank?
Starting point is 00:53:17 That is true. You were like, at the time, you're such a liar, dude. Why do you fucking lie to people? And meanwhile, you're just saying that Nick is on Xanaanax on the train i don't remember that at all fucking you're such a liar because you i think we were going through a phase where you would lie to me on the podcast to make me look like a goddamn fool yeah i'd be like yeah tiger woods is a baseball player you'd be like what at all what would happen recommend like mind comp to him yeah
Starting point is 00:53:44 i was like oh i'll have to check that out. I never heard of the book. Sorry. You said that? Yeah, I said that. And then before the episode came out, you were like, Roan, I caught it. We're not keeping that in. No, I don't think I did catch it until after.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Did you end up reading it? I never end up catching it. He read the whole thing. He's like, oh, this kind of makes sense. He got to the end. He's like, all right. This guy really struggled. He got to the end, he's like, all right. This guy really struggled. He gets to the About the Author page at the end, he's like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:54:10 Backjack. You said something like Michael Jordan or something. It's like a hockey player. Wayne Gretzky, I thought. Wayne Gretzky. But you sneak it in at the most subtle points where I don't catch it. It's like, obviously I know Wayne Gretzky's not a fucking baseball player. And then everyone's like, dude, I know Wayne Gretzky's not a fucking baseball player. And then everyone's like,
Starting point is 00:54:25 dude, sass is so stupid. Oh, my God. Ultimate sass up his head episode. Or his ass. I don't fucking... Oh, no. Sass up his head. I'm gonna kill myself.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Sass up his head. That made me stop. Ultimate. I don't even lie in jest anymore to you. No, I'm happy. I'm happy we got over that. I don't even lie in jest anymore to you. I'm happy we got over that. I protect you. I don't even joke.
Starting point is 00:54:51 It was becoming a trend, and I didn't like it. You nipped it in the butt. You nipped it right in the butt. Dude, yo, I'm going to Disclosure tomorrow night. I'm going Saturday. Are you really? I'm going Saturday. What is that?
Starting point is 00:55:03 Me and the boy are going Saturday. In Brooklyn? What's Disclosure? It that? Me and the boy are going Saturday. In Brooklyn? What's Disclosure? It's a music group. Should have went Friday. Yeah, we could have split the difference. What the fuck? Are you actually?
Starting point is 00:55:16 Tomorrow? Yeah. Thursday? Some of my boys named Mike are coming up in town. Better be. Oh, you're going to come over for the hamburger draft? I'm going to be here on Saturday. I'm going to be here with bells on, dude. I'm gonna be here on Saturday's on dude
Starting point is 00:55:31 What is it what's it called Disclosure, what is it? What is it? It's a concert About well, what's it about? concert about it disclosed Just asking people Is it about I guess you're right You saw that Yeah what did they Ruin concerts I ruined concerts What that was about
Starting point is 00:55:49 Billy Joel What's that about I guess like What was the theme Brenda and Eddie That sounds dumb Let's play the story arc Real quick
Starting point is 00:55:57 Oh there's no concept Okay Okay I'm out Making sure your concert Passed the Bechdel test Yeah The two were In reverse for movies
Starting point is 00:56:05 Like oh you saw that movie What songs were played Yeah Give us the soundtrack Yeah Yeah What'd they do for the encore It's gonna be fucking sick though
Starting point is 00:56:16 No it's gonna be amazing Oh it's gonna be so sick Completely revamped I'm not Tim Batecatter Going on Friday Yeah we're going on Friday Are you going with Maresh We're going tops off too Yeah Maresh're going on Friday. Are you going with Maresh? We're going tops off, too.
Starting point is 00:56:25 Yeah, Maresh is going, too. Steven, I can't tell you how many times. When you give me your Marine signals, I don't know what they mean. Oh, sorry. I gotta go. No, I love them, but just go. Give me the Marines. Who did the edit?
Starting point is 00:56:37 Do the exact Marine signals you just did. I just said. No, no, no. Don't use words. I gotta go. I'm going to heaven? I have to tape the money shots at 2. Heaven?
Starting point is 00:56:48 Why do you have to tape it at 2? That's what time it's on. You at Sammy Sosa? Yeah. You're leaving the act to go on money shots? That's the only time that they do. It's once a week. So this is going to be a thing now?
Starting point is 00:57:03 No. Is it going to be a thing? On Wednesdays, yes. Every Wednesday you is going to be a thing now? No. This is going to be a thing? On Wednesdays, yes. Whoa. So every Wednesday you're going to be leaving the show early? I mean, we're supposed to go to. I'm not supposed to be there for Wednesday. I actually have to go, too.
Starting point is 00:57:13 Are you part-time or full-time? Part-time. You're acting like part-time. He's acting part-time. All I'm doing is this. All right. I have to go, too, actually. I have an interview.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Yeah, I think we have an interview. All right. We'll see everyone tomorrow Good show Happy birthday Jerry Thank you guys New YouTube video Go watch the new YouTube video
Starting point is 00:57:29 Go watch it Go watch it Happy birthday Jerry Happy birthday Jerry It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop And do what Yankees love It's the act It's the act
Starting point is 00:57:55 New YouTube video links in the chat. Go watch, please. new youtube video links in the chat go watch please bye

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.