The Yak - Juices Are WILD & KB Is Blackout | The Yak 2-8-22
Episode Date: February 9, 2022Its The YakYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, let's pop it up.
Yeah!
Let's pop it up.
Yeah!
Oh!
What's up, people?
How are you doing today?
What are we doing?
Yeah!
How are you doing?
Hell yeah.
There's a lot less teenage girls.
Oh, well.
Wait, the teenage girls aren't here, and KB also isn't.
Oh, yeah.
That doesn't make sense.
That makes perfect sense.
Yeah, so Yak Day 2, we got a lot of updates.
I guess we should start with the absence of KB.
He's shit-faced.
I argue he did his assignment to perfection.
Yeah, so one of the mystery balls was you have to show up to a show very, very drunk.
He got cut off at the bar.
He got thrown out of our own hotel.
By security guards we hired.
Yeah, that's right.
I'd actually like him to not come, but I think he probably will still.
I think he will.
I think he'll be here for a little bit.
I don't know what it's going to be.
Maybe we just, you know what, we'll have him here and then we just won't turn on his mic.
That's pretty funny.
Yeah, like just have him sit there and he won't even know.
We have some videos from the hotel bar.
Yeah, we could show that.
Although, yeah, we'll save it.
Let's get him first.
I want to see him first because I haven't even seen him.
Were you with him at the bar?
I walked up to the hotel bar because I was meeting Owen there.
We were going to walk over here a little bit early.
And KB's been sitting up there and he's very very tan because he's now doing a
that probably has something to do with how like his his alcohol intake he probably didn't drink
that much but he's been in the sun yeah so he's now went to the tanning bed and then also his mom
called him and said he has a family history of melanoma. Oh, no. So now... Look at him. Oh, my God.
Wait, is he here?
Let me see that.
No, the picture.
TJ, send me that picture.
No, no, that's going to get us fucking canceled on you.
TJ, send me that picture.
You can see his neck.
You can see the neck of his penis.
Was he already drunk when he posted that?
Yes.
Why would he post that?
He found out he had the blackout mystery ball.
He went to the spray tan place.
He thinks he has a chance with the girl that works at the spray tan.
He said he hit it off with her.
And he showed me a text that he sent her, and it was just a Venmo for $60 for the spray tan.
And he captioned it, hi.
Is that a text?
What do you mean?
It's not even a text.
He's like, I definitely have a chance.
But he paid for an entire week's worth of spray tans.
So he's going to get progressive.
Did he just pay for a month of?
Yes.
So he's going to get paid?
He looks Dominican now.
By the end of the week, he's going to be looking like Neo.
TJ, send me that picture.
I'm going to use that as promotional.
Put that back up.
It looks like.
Pull up the other one that he replied to Roan's tweet out of.
He has like Anthony Weiner level pictures right now.
It's just like all his... This is him.
He's about to go on stage for like a
Mr. Olympia competition.
Like, I've been fucking... I've been not
drinking water for a week in preparation
for today's meet. So he pulled me aside
and he said, man to man, don't tell anybody.
He said, I have horrible
body dysmorphia. I haven't eaten
on this trip. But he had
like 15 Moscow mules at the bar.
And it is very, very bad.
Yeah, we shouldn't show those videos. We do have sponsors.
But he's on site right now.
He's here. He's here. Is he here?
We think he's in this bathroom or he's in the hotel bathroom.
I was just in that bathroom.
He's in the hotel. He was just drinking.
So, I got caught holding a cup.
Yeah.
It was a coffee prop for that video of the tour.
Yep.
Didn't drink it at all.
You were just holding the cup.
Rob, the guy who does our branded videos, came up to me and said,
it just needs to look like you're at breakfast.
It'd be hard to sell a Cribs video without the cup of coffee.
Oh, wow.
First of all, that's not even me.
Yeah, that's LeBron James.
That's LeBron James.
There's no proof that that's me.
That could be any lesbian in this city.
You next to you.
Wait, what does that hat say?
Cabela's?
There's so many Cabela's.
It could be any Cabela's.
It could be literally.
It's a chain.
No one has ever.
I mean, there's many, many Cabela's.
That could be literally. It's a chain. No one has ever. I mean, there's many, many Cabela's. That could be anybody.
Yeah.
So what's your comeuppance for having gotten in trouble?
Because it seems like everybody's getting a little bit of trouble for breaking the rules.
I'm getting an entire pack of cigs, aren't I?
Yeah, I think so.
That's awesome.
Yeah, it feels bad that the people are breaking the rules.
You think it's awesome until you're.
Yeah, it's going to suck.
Yeah.
Until you're deep in.
So I had asked for s'mores today, and I was very embarrassed by the guy.
And did you get it?
No, he was very apologetic to me.
He felt bad.
He's like, I'm sorry, we don't do dessert anymore.
And I just felt so bad.
And he was like, do you want anything else?
But we were, and it was not a nice restaurant.
It was a train car.
It was that train car.
Yeah, yeah, the train car.
Yeah, don't do that.
Can I just do the s'mores? Thank you. I have the video of him getting cut off.
We can play it later.
He destroyed me online for no reason.
Rowan just posted that he was going to In-N-Out, and KB just replied with a picture of his abs. He destroyed me online for no reason. Rowan just posted that he was
going to In-N-Out and KB just replied with a picture
of his abs. And called me a douchebag.
Enjoyed douchebag. Enjoyed douchebag
and a picture of his fucking... Can we pull up that picture?
Shaving pubes. Oh, man.
What a day, huh?
What time did he start training? Like noon?
As soon as he got the text from TJ
that that was his ball. That's probably the worst
person to get that ball.
Because he could only get that ball.
He really listened.
He really listened.
I think he just wanted to do it anyway.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
And I don't think Mummy would like it if he got high.
Mummy won't like that.
No.
Mummy wouldn't allow that at all.
No, no, no.
Mummy doesn't listen to Uber Eats either.
Oh, yeah.
KB admitted that he spends $1,200 a month on Uber Eats.
He could have a significantly nicer apartment if he learned how to cook.
His apartment could have furniture.
Or a television.
Yeah.
But it was the same episode he admitted to being addicted to Kratom, and she called to worry about the Uber Eats expenses.
She knows Kratom's legal.
Yeah, she's perfectly fine with that.
Nothing you can do about it.
No one from West Virginia has had opiate.
No.
It's not an opiate.
It's a powder.
It comes from the land.
He told me it tastes
like a root.
And I'm like,
what does that fucking mean?
Yeah.
Have you been eating roots?
I don't know.
Rowan, it looks like
you're kind of filling in
for KB with that wet look
he got going on.
Yeah, what's going on?
Are you wet?
I just showered
because I just came off a hike.
I just went for a beautiful hike.
You forgot to dry?
Up the, on the street?
I went for a hike on the street.
Yeah. I took you around. I did a street car hike and it was exhausting. Yeah. It turns out to off a hike. I just went for a beautiful hike. You forgot to drive? Up on the street? I went for a hike on the street. Yeah.
I took you around.
I did a street car hike.
It was exhausting.
Yeah.
It turned out to be a hike.
That's a hike.
It is.
That is a hike.
I felt like my artery down my arm pulsing the entire time.
It was a hike for sure.
You go straight up.
That's what a hike is.
And it took me a damn near an hour just to go to the top of the hill.
And it's right there.
You can see it.
It shouldn't have taken that long.
You're soaking wet just from that walk?
It was fucking, it was exhilarating. Brandon, you would
die. I know I would die. Brandon,
well, actually, I probably shouldn't say that. What?
Do people know you shredded water yet?
Oh, yeah, we're going to play that.
Should we play My Belly Flop? It's not much of a, mine's
not much of a video. Okay. Brandon almost
died. Don't say it. Yeah, yeah, I want to see you almost
die. That was actually the best part. Stephen
Shea beforehand was like, oh, here comes KB.
He's getting assistance.
He's got security.
Yeah.
He looks good.
He's got his head in his butt.
He did get gauged.
Okay, so this is going to be really unfortunate.
He has to go in the wet wheel.
Dude, if he goes in the wet wheel, the whole pool just turns like... No, around the other way, KB.
You've got to go around the other side of the fence.
No, not that way.
Why are you going the worst way?
Oh, my God.
Get a picture in front of the
KB.
Could have climbed up, KB.
KB.
There he is.
He's a mean drunk.
Be careful, KB, because we are live.
We're live.
Do you want us to not have
your mic on?
Go easy, Trey.
I don't want you to say something that you're going to regret.
Do we have a responsive crowd this time?
Yes!
Because yesterday it was humiliating because the crowd didn't say shit.
And we all felt like a fucking loser.
So I don't leave a crowd that actually responds to us.
You don't want us to feel like a loser.
No, we all combined into one loser.
Our powers combined, we are a loser.
It's like Captain Planet, bro.
For real, bro.
Like, we were doing it.
We did a two-hour show to nobody who spoke.
Yeah.
Except Julio.
Shout out Julio.
Shout out Julio.
Julio's birthday is tomorrow.
He'll be back tomorrow.
He's turning 27.
No way.
Yes, dude.
Julio will be back.
KB, though.
We should get him a cake.
We should.
We should get Julio a cake.
That would be fucking fine.
KB looks like the angriest teenager ever right now.
Angry little tan.
Jamie, you look like you got some sun.
And fuck everyone who said I'm not a skater.
It's so fucking annoying.
I know.
Because you are a skater.
Right, guy in a Vans hat?
He definitely is a skater. This guy's a skater. Right guy in a Vans hat. He definitely is a skater, dude.
This guy's a skater.
KB, what's going to happen
if you have to do the wet wheel today
because we're doing two picks.
That spray tan hasn't set.
It actually might help.
Yeah.
Sober it up.
No, but it might run.
What if it runs?
Fuck everyone trying to run.
KB's on roast mode, dude.
KB, why'd you call me a douchebag earlier, bro?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
What was that all about?
Because you're the biggest dick I know.
Okay, so this is great.
Mike is going to have to walk you back if you have to do the wet wheel.
Dude, he's got his grenade.
Fuck.
Mike.
Well, let's do his grenade. Mike. Put it down, brother.
Do a live tan line reveal.
Show us your pubic bone, bro.
You've already shown it.
We see the picture.
Make sure his dick stays in.
Oh, and make sure his dick stays in.
He accidentally showed his dick to a pizza guy
not too long ago. Do you remember that?
What do you mean? On this trip? While he'd been drunk?
We were at it. We ordered pizza when we were both guy not too long ago. Do you remember that? What do you mean? On this trip while he's been drunk?
We ordered pizza when we were both back in Wheeling.
We were sitting on his deck and he tried to
prank me. He's like, Nick.
I turn around and he has his dick out.
At the same time, the pizza guy came
and just saw KB with his dick out pointing
to me. Oh my god, dude.
You can't take the wrestler out of the man.
Oh man. Show the line wrestler out of the man. Oh man.
Show the line.
Stand up for your line. Show us a line.
Just do a line, KB.
Do a line. You'll feel better. It'll give you
energy. Just do one line.
Alright, should we do a wet wheel?
Should we do the first
one? Because we're going to do two today.
Fuck, this California crowd
is so depressing.
No, it's not.
They're fine.
That's your alcohol that's making you depressed, dude.
It's your alcohol.
They're giving us nothing.
This is a bad show.
They don't have to give you anything.
This is a yak show.
It's supposed to be laid back.
We do a show to nobody every day.
It's way better when you don't have to see it on you.
It's four in the afternoon.
They're just having a leisurely drink.
The bar just opened.
What, do you want them to be fucking rowdy right now?
What are you going to get out of them?
You want them as drunk as you?
Oh, man.
You're a smart man, Roan.
Yeah, you're a smart man.
You're the best, clever guy.
You're so fucking funny, jokester.
Quick as a whip over there.
Oh, my God.
All right, so should we do it?
Yeah, let's do it.
Or you want to watch the belly flop or you want us to tread water?
Tread water.
There's a lot we got to do.
Oh, no, I meant wet wheel.
Wet wheel, okay.
All right, so there you go.
I was only going to go from your decision.
Well, I had to say what I meant.
Yeah.
All right, so let's do the wet wheel then.
Let's start with one.
We'll do another one in the second hour.
How about that, Kyle?
We need someone in from the crowd.
Who's the driest out there?
This guy?
Okay.
What's your name?
Tito.
Tito?
Dio.
Dio.
Dio?
Dio.
Oh, Ronnie James.
Dio.
Oh, it's like Ronnie James.
All right.
So does he count as if it's him, do we still do two of us?
No.
He's one of us.
He's one of us.
He's a chaperone, though.
Someone will have to help him.
Cody, you're going to have to get the Zoom
ready to walk someone back.
So TJ will have to send that to you.
Is Roan on this wheel? No, Roan is not.
Roan's off the wheel. He's exempt.
Fuck you, dude!
Look at KB.
He's so mad.
Have you taken the character of your clothing?
He has. He spent too much time in a hot tub.
I'm so fucking sick of everyone
DMing me like, that's not a waste.
It doesn't fucking matter. It's worse.
I'm dressed like this.
Stop policing us.
And you've been responding to those guys.
Yes. I'm trying to fuck.
The one that's here right now, his name is Evan.
I will not fight you. The one that's here right now, his name is Evan.
Evan, come up here.
Where's Evan here?
You look like you got freaky fry hands.
I'm not saying I will fight you.
It depends on how he looks.
It depends on how big he is.
But we can clear out the hay.
You can wrestle.
Evan's here.
Evan is here.
He's scared.
You know what?
No, he's small because he won't reveal himself.
He knows that KB will fuck him up.
Yeah, I can see him. I see him.
I'm looking at Evan right now.
Oh, fuck.
Are you Evan?
Yeah, I know exactly who he is.
Oh.
All right, let's do a wet wheel.
Let's do a wet wheel.
Wet wheel.
Dio's on.
Yeah, with the wet wheel.
Dio's on.
Oh, his name looks good on there.
All right, so two left, and they can decide if they want to do a best of seven or whatever.
It's an elimination wheel.
It's an elimination wheel.
It's an elimination wheel.
Elimination wheel.
Download DatChat for iPhone and Android in app stores right now,
or go to datchat.com slash barstool to get more info and download DatChat.
Ultimate level of privacy because there's no screenshotting allowed, and I'm pretty sure that everybody in here maybe gets some free shit if and download DatChat. Ultimate level of privacy because there's no screenshotting allowed.
And I'm pretty sure that everybody in here maybe gets some free shit
if they download DatChat.
Yes, free shit.
$10.
$10 for free.
What, just download and get money?
I like DatChat.
An insanely good deal.
Buy KB a drink, dude.
Let's keep the good times rolling, KB.
Are you going to the Laker game tonight, KB?
Nah.
Not quite.
Are you going to go halfway?
It's actually worked out really well.
We should actually do the edible.
Yeah, probably.
All right.
Go ahead.
Do the wheel.
With the sound.
We need the sound.
What's this sound?
I don't know.
It's a new sound.
This is dramatic, though.
And the sound sounds better.
Everybody's ears out.
Okay.
Let's not blow everyone's ears out anymore.
It's a new sound.
The sound is better than yesterday, though.
Yes!
Remember, we're doing another one in hour two.
That's fine.
I can't get wet in this Lakers night.
It's too wet Tuesday.
It's too wet Tuesday. The music timing has been incredible so far. Dio, you getting nervous out there?
He's got a wet on the inside.
Alright, Shay. Shay freshly tattooed.
Yeah, we still haven't come up with a show.
What? Shay got a tattoo?
I was fucking lost.
He's gonna stretch out.
He's like, he's always going kinda badass, dude. stretch out Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. He's getting really far now. He's getting a little bit close.
One man will get wet.
Ah, the world is not just.
Dio.
Maybe he's drying out right now.
A wet-ass Dio.
Hey, Cap'n.
Hey.
That's your call.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Okay.
Best of seven.
Best of seven.
Brandon and Dio.
Poor Dio. Poor Dio. We're going to need a Dio. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. Okay, best of seven.
Best of seven, Brandon and Dio.
Poor Dio.
We're going to need a Dio cam if he winds up getting wet.
Yeah, someone's going to have to walk Dio.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, Dio.
Someone's going to have to Viacom Dio.
I think James is sitting at the pool, too.
Wait, who's what?
Who's Dio?
That's an engaged audience member.
It's exactly what you wanted.
That's what you asked for.
He's on the edge of his seat.
The world needs more Dios.
Oh, no.
I think Dave's sitting at the pool right now.
Yeah, that would be so great.
Dio's going to walk in and just jump in and come right back.
Yeah, yeah, you got to go.
Then you're wet for the rest of the day.
All right, here we go. Best of seven? Best of seven. No, yeah, you got to go, yeah, and then you're wet for the rest of the day. All right, here we go.
Best of seven?
Best of seven.
No, let's just make him go.
You just found out who he was.
You might see Brandon.
It'd be way funnier.
Brandon's funny, too.
Yeah, but make him go.
Best of seven?
Best of seven.
All right, so you want your name.
Yes, first one to four wins.
Okay.
Make him go.
That's a D.
Oh, that's a Brandon.
One-nothing.
This could be great.
D.O. being instant legend.
Instant legend D.O.
Well, you'll probably have a job at Barstool next week.
Yeah.
If Dave's there.
Knowing how he hired.
If your splash is big enough.
Oh, no, D.O.
D.O.
Two more. And the wheel is just Dio! Dio. Two more.
And the wheel is just.
The wheel is just.
Always was.
No, no!
Steve!
You suck at this.
Dio's getting smoked.
We have to keep the comeback before we have to leave.
He's got a zillion beer sherds.
Now I think he counts for the audience for the rest of the week.
No. You think we add another one every time? Alright Dio here we go Dio. Dio's looking dry
Brandon's got three more cracks at this you cannot blow this Brandon. Not gonna blow it. You cannot blow this
You cannot blow this Brandon. Dio come, Tio! Now it's anyone's game!
Oh, wow. Is it 3-2?
3-2. Brandon's whole outfit does wick, though.
He may be 9 out of 10.
Tio!
Oh! Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die!
Oh!
Wet Tio! See ya, Tio!
Wet Tio! See ya, Tio!
Bye-bye! Bye-bye.
Party's over for you.
No, the party's just started.
I can't wait for like.
Wait, is he going to get wet?
Yeah, go, go.
Get the fuck out.
Oh, shit.
I was going to say.
Get him out of here.
I can't wait for five minutes from now when KB's like, yo, where'd that fucking guy Dio go?
Where's Dio?
Fuck you, dude. Yeah, Dio was a good dude.
All right, Dio's gone. We'll do another
one at the top of the hour, second hour.
Unbelievable job by Dio.
Great work for him. He wanted it.
I don't think he was expecting it. He's over there with Jeff now.
Jeff, do you have a super finger shirt on
from Dan? Yeah.
That's it. That's an awesome shirt.
Wait, lift up, show the tan line.
Jeff, you also got the spray tan, huh?
He did it for love, though.
I think he did it for the love of the game.
Yeah, he did.
Dozen trivia.
Dozen.
Tomorrow night.
T-Low.
Jeff, your question is, how tan can you get without being problematic?
You can go sit over there, Jeff.
And the answer?
Whoa!
Damn.
Them tan lines are popping.
God damn.
Dudes love a good tan line.
Show us, KB.
KB.
Do a line.
I'll put my pants right down.
As long as your boxers stay up, you're good.
What, are you worried about your print?
Crowd of fellas.
But also the internet.
You don't want your dick on the internet.
No.
No.
You're never aware that this show is on the internet.
You're only where there's an audience when it's right in front of you.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Dio's going.
Is someone getting Dio?
Who's escorting Dio?
I think Cody's getting the link.
They're getting the link, and then D-Lo's going to walk him back.
We're going to dip him real quick.
All right.
Okay.
We're going to get him. Yeah, he's going to dip. He's going to come back. He's going to walk him back. We're going to dip him real quick. All right, okay. We're going to get him.
Yeah, he's going to dip.
He's going to come back.
He's going to sit there wet.
He's got to go home.
How far away does he live?
Like, what?
Hour and a half.
Dio, you don't have to do this.
This was a bad decision.
Wait, do we have a merch table, right?
Yeah, he can get us free merch.
Oh, but it's expensive, bro.
D-Lo, bro.
No, no, I'm just saying you can go buy merch.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Not a big deal. It's no big deal. Or one, bro. It's going to be expensive. I'm just saying you can go buy merch. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Not a big deal.
It's no big deal.
Or one of us could dress him.
Whoa.
You want to dress as him?
One of us could dress him.
We do love dressing people.
I am wearing Nicky's Dickies right now.
Do you think you could fit into a shmeatio?
Poor Dio.
Jesus Christ.
What a legend.
Dio.
Dio.
I can't wait for him to come back just sopping wet.
He's got a lot of clothes on, too.
He's wearing a lot of clothes.
Flannels don't dry.
I like that flannel, too.
It looks good.
It's very good.
It's very American Southwest.
He put on his best flannel, best zillion beers.
His best Indianapolis cold chat.
Rushed here to get the front row.
He left you alone now.
You look more like how – you look how KB should, right?
Yeah.
All right, wet cam's going.
So, wait, Brandon, you want to see – I want to see the tread water.
Yeah, okay.
Or we can wait until after wet cam's done.
No, this is nice.
Or actually it might be tough to have us comment.
All right, okay.
I watched the tread water firsthand, and I'll say Brandon is a significantly better swimmer than Che.
That's right.
Athlete even.
So we'll play it after the wet camp, but Brandon, I said that one of his punishments,
well, his first punishment was he was going to have to suck us all off.
I don't know what happened there.
Yeah.
Yeah, why didn't you do it?
No, that was suggested.
I don't think we ever landed on that.
Well, we do have bananas, so we will make you...
We'll make them do fast banana, slow banana.
Okay, that's nice.
And juices wild.
Yes, juices wild, of course.
That juices wild video was preposterous.
Yeah, that was preposterous.
Yeah, we got a video sent in of somebody
juices wilding at their own home.
With a fast banana, slow banana.
With a fast banana, I think.
20 bottles of juice. Yeah, at what point does this become With a fast banana, I think. 20 bottles of juice.
Yeah.
At what point does this become a cult?
Oh, I think we're far past that.
Way past that.
Far past that.
But the bros are having fun, dude.
Yeah, let the bros have fun.
They look like they're having the time of their freaking lives.
I kind of want to get juices wild because I think since I have to wear the same thing
every day, if I get progressively dirtier, it might be funny.
If you get sticky, you get really sticky.
If I'm in a real juiced up LeBron jersey.
You also just asked, when does this become a cult?
We just sent a guy across the street to get wet in our pool.
He volunteered. No, he did.
Yeah, but we sent him.
I mean, that is a cool thing for him.
Oh, yeah. Time that we made him go get wet.
He's getting hyper-thirsty.
He's got an hour and a half to get home.
He's going to be wet for hours, dude.
Let's check in on him.
He's walking right now with Cody and I half to get home. He's going to be wet for hours, dude. Let's check in on him. He's walking right now with Cody
and I don't know who.
I think Jeff Delos.
Delos is so positive. Yesterday as we were doing that walk,
the same thing. He was like, you know,
you are experiencing a sunset on sunset.
That's not enough for me.
That doesn't make me feel any better, Jeff.
Thanks, Jeff. My clothes weigh 68 pounds.
I'm a fucking dragon.
He's having a good ass time.
Dave did say that he sat in your seat yesterday.
He's like,
I got fucking soaked.
I told you.
Yeah.
And there was a blanket.
There was a bonus blanket.
Like, he could have just
stripped the blanket
and he wouldn't have got wet.
Why would you invite
a wet show to open up for you?
Yeah, right.
Let it close.
Let it close.
We're going to do this
until there's one dry guy.
Yeah.
That's it. Oh, yeah. They're super fucked next time. Yeah, so we'll have to land on Friday. We're going to do this until there's one dry guy. Yeah. That's it.
Oh, yeah.
They're super fucked next time.
Yeah, so we'll have to land on Friday.
We'll have two people left.
We got to make one of them sit in D.O.'s seat.
Yeah.
We got to make chicken fries in D.O.'s seat.
All right.
So what else happened today?
So, Sass, what did you do?
Did you rollerblade?
No.
Oh, no.
I smoked some cigs.
I think everyone's going to have to run the 5K.
Oh, we can do 5K wheel.
I will run the 5K.
See who's next.
We got, I think, 55,000, so we're two more people.
Right now it's me, KB, and Brandon.
I want to win the 5K wheel because my heart hurts so badly.
I think we'll have one person not run the 5K.
Yeah. Here he goes. Imagine if the
dry person also doesn't have to run the 5K.
King of the week.
Alright, so he's going in.
That makes sense. He's never been in this hotel.
This is going to be so funny if Dave's there.
Oh, that's Dave right there.
Dave's like, what the fuck? These guys,
they just, this is what they do all the time?
They just go and get wet?
I hope he goes deep end.
Yeah, go to the eight feet.
Roan, did you hit the bottom hard?
Oh, he's taking off his shoes.
I bounced off his bottom.
That's okay.
He's got nice shoes.
Kind of a pussy move by Dio.
Wouldn't you agree, KB?
I think Roan did it too.
Is he going deep?
It still ruined my shoes.
Here he goes.
Even just going back in with my socks. Oh, he's going deep. He's going deep. He's ruined my shoes. Here he goes. Even just going back in with my socks.
Oh, he's going deep.
He's going deep.
He's going deep.
Oh, my goodness.
I wonder if anybody's down there.
Yeah.
Oh, is he going down there?
Be careful.
He's going to slip.
He's going to slip.
Yeah, he might.
No, he's not.
Dio.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Thunderous applause.
Dio.
Out the other side. Fantastic. Comeous applause. D.O. Amazing. Out the other side.
Come on back.
D.O.
We got to pick up D.O.'s tab.
We got to pay drinks on us, D.O.
Something.
Drink on us.
Holy fuck.
What a legend, D.O.
Carry his shoes back or something.
Don't put the shoes back on.
It's going to ruin the shoes.
Wait, yeah, don't put the shoes back on.
Tell him to steal anything he wants from the hotel.
Yeah, tell him to take a towel.
Tell him to take a towel.
Get some Takis.
Take a couple towels.
Yeah, yeah, grab a towel. Yeah, Takis. Take a couple towels. Yeah, yeah. Grab a towel.
Yeah, Takis.
Football's hottest and most intense game is coming up,
and you are going to need a game day snack to match that intensity.
That's why the Takis rolled tortilla chip creates a distinctive crunch,
and it delivers an intense, one-of-a-kind fuego flavor. So enjoy some.
Theo.
Kyle, you haven't eaten all week.
Take two.
Take two, yes.
Take two. Why don't you eat a Taki? He's up. Good, I'm good. You up? He's up. It's a fire't eaten all week. Take two. Yes. Take two.
Why don't you eat a talkie?
He's up.
I'm good.
I'm good.
You up?
He's up.
It's a fire snack.
I don't want it.
Dio's a legend.
It is a fire snack.
Kyle, did you hit it off with your spray tan girl?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Is she from New York, right?
Bro, the problem is, are you attainable, bro?
You got to look at yourself, bro.
There's Eddie.
Eddie's like, what the fuck is going on? Are you ready to be loved? Eddie, what the fuck? Why are you so confused, right? But the problem is, are you attainable, bro? You've got to look at yourself, bro. There's Eddie. Eddie's like, what the fuck is going on?
Are you ready to be loved?
Eddie, what the fuck?
Why are you so confused, Eddie?
Eddie's not in the car.
He's on the video.
Eddie's on the video.
He's on the monitor.
He can't hear you, KB.
He's a...
I love drunk KB.
Holy shit.
Can we get to D.O. Bell?
This guy's a legend.
Oh, man.
Yeah, Cody will text it to us.
Oh, my gosh.
That was amazing. That was incredible. He might have topped your... He might have topped your... This guy's a legend. Yeah, Cody will text it to us. Oh, my gosh.
That was amazing.
That was incredible.
He might have topped your – Yeah, let's watch my belly flop.
I mean, it was not my finest moment, but –
It was dangerous.
It worked out, though.
I did say right before –
Your fat, uncoordinated ass slipped on the fucking belly flop.
Shit, KB.
Nothing he said is wrong.
I am the biggest douchebag you know.
Damn it.
By the way,
Owen is a douchebag.
Brandon, your goatee looks great today.
Yeah, thank you.
Brandon's the one guy
I don't even feel anger towards.
Really?
Just apathy?
Well, it seems like you've been
leaving Sass, Nick,
and Owen alone.
Sass is a huge douche.
Nick is like the worst person I've ever met.
Nick is?
Nick's like your best friend.
Yeah, that's true.
You would think.
He like does the most with and for you.
We are best friends.
You partner with him every day voluntarily.
So Brandon's the only one here.
Brandon is the only good person here.
Thank you.
Thank you, Kyle.
That is not true.
That is like the opposite.
I like this.
Bad guy.
What do I do?
Owen, I hate that I love you, but I do.
Fuck.
Dude, I think Owen has to come clean too, dude.
What happened?
Owen? Oh, no. What did you do? has to come clean too, dude. What happened?
Owen?
Oh, no.
What'd you do?
I don't know what I did.
I don't know.
Doesn't he look lightly glazed?
Oh, no. Did you do a mystery ball?
Wait, I wasn't going to count it.
What?
What?
He had to do a mystery ball.
I had to take an edible.
Are you on an edible?
All right. What? What? He had to do a mystery ball. Are you on an edible? Alright.
Can you give me a drink, please?
Do you want a beer?
No.
Moscow Mule?
I was vomiting profusely in my hotel room.
Okay, so maybe not, yeah.
You were?
You had it super together.
I also have not been eating this whole week. Yeah, what's up with that? I'm trying to, like, well, I was taking shirtless pics, so maybe not, yeah. You were? You had it super together. I also have not been eating this whole week.
Yeah, what's up with that?
I'm trying to, like, well, I was taking shirtless pics, so I wanted to.
Yeah, did you know what you posted on the internet today?
I was very drunk, and I think I posted some, like, some shirtless.
No, much more than shirtless.
It was nearly pantless.
You almost saw the beginning of your penis.
We definitely saw your penis.
Wait, have you seen it? I was trying to do something. No, no, don't pull it out. I thought it you. It's also evident that you were on the precipice. Have you seen it?
I was trying to do something.
No, no, don't pull it out.
I thought it was going to be fire.
What were you trying to do?
It was fire.
I was trying to look good.
You do.
It looked like true life.
I want to be a bodybuilder.
Yeah, now I'm thinking about what I did.
I'm tweeting it right now.
Oh, no.
That's millions of people.
Nah.
It's just one million.
You look great.
I know that, but that's embarrassing
that I posted that. No, but not eating
has been working, bro. It was hilarious.
No, you look hot. And you also, you learned
how to lose weight from wrestling, and you
still use that knowledge to this day.
You know what, KB? The belly flop's
ready to go. Let's play the belly flop. You can look at my
fat fucking gut, and you make me feel better.
All right.
I'm like two of you.
Bro, look at your striations, bro.
Yeah, that's great.
Give us your secret.
You've never – this is the hottest you've been, right?
Kyle?
What?
All right.
So, yeah, I belly flopped earlier today.
It didn't go well.
Yeah, that was incredible.
Yeah, I was in the car because we were going to interview,
and I looked at the phone, and it was like millions of views on Instagram.
I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, everyone's breaking their stuff except you.
Oh, we got Dio.
Oh, yeah.
Dio.
Awesome.
TJ, we're sad.
We got DJ.
Dio. Dio. Dio. D.O. Awesome. T.J. We're sad. We got D.J. D.O. D.O.
D.O.
D.O.
D.O.
D.O.
Look at him.
He got at least a bag of Takis for free.
He got a bag of Takis for free.
He looks so uncomfortable.
Oh, that's so wet.
Oh, dude.
He looks so uncomfortable.
Thank you, Kahlon.
D.O.
D.O.
BarstoolSports.com.
Bro, go to the bathroom and change, D.O.
Bro, you're so wet. Oh, go to the bathroom and change, Theo. Bro, you're so wet.
Oh, fuck, dude.
I feel so bad.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Wait, you said your punishment is to watch the yak?
He's right.
He's right.
No, no.
You son of a bitch.
Theo is so wet.
This fucking, yeah, this sucks, but it's not all our fault.
Wait, who else?
I love all.
The wheel.
You guys got to give us something. I like KB's thought process. It's like half all. The wheel. You guys got to give us something.
I like KB's
thought process.
It's like half thoughts.
The wheel is just.
It's not like an end
to any of his sentences.
KB's a blame guy.
What about like the
team on like the
technical side?
They fucking up?
Nah, they're killing it.
Yeah, I like that.
Alright.
For real?
All of them?
All business Pete?
Pete is the man, yeah.
You are lost.
We need to get him to the hospital.
Fuck. Oh, Jesus Christ.
He perked up.
No, yeah, you suck,
Pete. Get out of here.
Go to breakfast with
Nick. He won't let me. I'm going to have to get his hotel
key. Yep. Well, I'll get that for you.
Thank you. Did Ron have breakfast in bed?
No.
KB didn't bring it to me.
He was drunk.
Unsung man.
KB was up at 4 in the morning.
Why was the text from 4 in the morning?
No, I was sober at 4 in the morning.
But you needed to text back at me from 4 in the morning.
I said I wanted breakfast in bed, and you texted me at 4 in the morning saying, what's your order?
As if I would just answer at 4 in the morning being like, okay, this is my order.
But why would you text me?
You have to tell me what you want.
Breakfast in bed?
You can only eat In-N-Out.
They only have one item.
So tell me what you fucking want.
They only have one item.
I would have gotten it.
It's hamburgers.
That's all they have.
I was at Planet Fitness at 7 a.m.
That's fucking weird.
Why were you up at 4?
That's weird as fuck.
You're at Planet Fitness on an empty stomach?
I did actually see him get in a cab at like 7.20.
Why? To go to Planet Fitness. I was re? I did actually see him get in a cab at like 7.20. Why?
To go to Planet Fitness.
I was repping 80-pound dumbbells on incline bench.
Incline?
First sets of 10.
Were you really?
Yes.
He's a beast.
You guys see me?
Your dysmorphia is out of control.
You see me?
You're jacked, KB.
Holy shit, bro.
You are at the edge.
Why were you up at 4 a.m.?
Because I fell asleep at 9.
I'm still jet lagging.
Okay.
What?
We flew in the middle of the day.
A very simple concept to understand.
No.
No.
We flew in the middle of the day.
KB, it pisses you off the listeners who comment about you.
What about coworkers?
Stuff like that.
Coworkers?
I don't know.
Who commented?
Are you saying I commented? Somebody commented? No, I don't know. It's like office gossip or stuff like that. Coworkers? No. Who commented? Are you saying I commented?
Somebody commented?
No, I don't know.
It's like office gossip or stuff like that.
Oh, wow.
Anything else pissing you off?
Someone else gossip about you?
Good.
All right, we'll play the belly flop and then we'll do the tread water.
The belly flop is on.
I was bad.
It was bad.
I did.
There's not a second of it that's fake either.
No, people.
You could not have faked that. That's too dangerous. You would have hurt yourself. People provide. And it can't. There's not a second of it that's fake either. No, people. You could not have faked that.
You could die.
You would have hurt yourself.
People try to say it's fake.
I literally said it right before.
It's like no one's doing anything except me.
Is that fair to say?
No one's doing anything.
Well, I didn't know KB was getting drunk as I was filming this.
I'm about to have a heart attack off the internet.
How many have you had?
I'm so fat.
It's so bad.
It's not bad.
No, it is.
It looks like a fat filter.
Like, it does.
It looks like my whole body's on a fat filter.
Oh, what horrible timing.
Terrible timing.
That's half the DJ.
Oh, oh.
Mike, you move so fast that the camera couldn't pick you up. Yeah. I just thought that was a good timing. That's happened, CJ. Oh, oh.
Mike, you move so fast that the camera couldn't pick you up.
Yeah.
Okay, we're going to try that again.
That was very funny.
I did say it was slippery.
I was like, it's very slippery.
It was very slippery.
Oh, man.
I could do this three more times, too.
I'm going to slip and fall and probably die think I'm going to crack my head open.
Odds are.
All right.
A little different belly flop.
And it's a terrible belly flop.
We should do this.
I think you're strong.
I think you're strong like Nucky Thompson or like Mr. Incredible.
It's not like a fireman though.
Oh, yeah.
I bent my knees though.
That was bad.
That was bad.
Oh, no, no.
That looks cool as fuck.
I'm disgusted with myself. That's a cool shot. That looks cool as fuck. I'm disgusted with myself.
That's a great image.
I'm disgusted with myself.
Your back is strong.
I'm disgusted with myself.
Your dorsal chain is fucking jacked.
I was about to say the same thing.
Dio's belly flop.
Yeah, no.
Dio's belly flop.
He's got an elevator.
Cody, text me Dio's belly flop.
Dio had one chance, and he nailed it.
Can we get Dio some more beers?
Can we get Dio another round of beers for Dio?
Like three pitchers of beer?
I got another one coming.
Yeah?
All right, so I want to see you guys treading water. So that was part of your punishment. Can we get Dio some more beers? Can we get Dio another? Like three pitchers of beer? I got another one coming. Yeah?
All right, so I want to see you guys treading water.
So that was part of your punishment.
You had to go in the water.
So that was part of the punishment.
You guys messaged me this morning and said one of the things I had to do.
I had to suck you off.
I haven't done that yet.
And then you said I had to beat Stephen Chase Tread Water Challenge,
but I had to do so treading water while wearing the 10-pound ankle weights.
So I did get in the water wearing the 10-pound ankle weights, and I
tried to tread water. Afterwards, you looked like
you went to war. You coming out of the pool
was like, you were gassed, and it wasn't like
Stephen Che's sexy gassed face. It looked like
you were going to die. And also, right before it
happened, Stephen poked his head out of his room
and I was like, Stephen, you have to
tread water against Brandon. He's got to do the ankle
weights. He was like, dead serious.
Isn't that really dangerous? I was like,
yeah, that's the point. He's like,
what if he starts to drown? I was like, that would be awesome.
Do you think he's going to die?
No chance. Would you...
Well, actually, I have no idea.
I think it was me.
Who else was down there? Kyle was down there.
Kyle was the one I actually asked, Kyle, don't let me die.
Right.
I didn't ask Sass.
I didn't ask Nick.
I said, Kyle, please don't.
He was dead sober at the time, and he was going to save me.
So we think.
So we think.
So, yeah.
Yeah, it was like 11 in the day with KB.
You do hold it together pretty well, though.
Yeah.
I'm excited for this.
So there's my feet.
Good-looking feet.
That sucks.
Good-looking cat. Good's my feet. Good looking feet. That sucks. Good looking cat.
Alright, so here's one of my punishments.
I have to tread water longer than five minutes wearing these ankle weights.
It seems like a horrible idea and...
Are your swim trunks pleated?
I don't think I'll be able to do it, but I'm going to try.
I'm not wearing my swim trunks.
No, his skin is khaki-colored.
I decided to take a picture last night in the seconds that I had my ankle weights off.
What do you think is going to happen?
I had both ankle weights on my right foot at that point.
I just walked.
It's embarrassing.
Kyle.
I just walked.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. holding a cup. I think everybody can vouch. And my mom's going to be pissed.
I abused chewing tobacco.
It was a spitter.
Is this like a Dateline video at this point?
Yeah.
I'm still good.
Oh, Kyle.
I just said that.
Look at that guy.
He was drunk, dude.
He was definitely drunk in that point.
I don't think he was drunk.
No, looking back, he was definitely drunk. You look so good.
You look like you're like the biggest fan of Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Yeah, you look like someone's drummer who has a drug problem.
Oh, yeah, there are.
God, we are all out of shape.
You look bad, too.
All right, we're ready.
Oh, no!
Can I start it?
Yeah.
No, you can't touch me. I'm went straight to the bottom. Are we next game? Are we next game? Yeah! Go! No, you can't touch me.
Uh huh, I'm not going to.
Did we have Michelangelo with the zoom underneath?
Why do they sound like brothers?
No, he wasn't down.
Yeah, that's your better form.
You can't touch me, so if I...
I'm certain he does.
No, that's not his fault.
Brandon, were you feeling good?
This is when Che just starts going closer.
I was feeling fine. If you notice, I have a much better form than he does.
Much better.
Wait, did the people in the crowd see what we're doing?
Why are you guys supposed to be here?
They're all looking at the TV right now.
They don't give a fuck.
They're literally watching the TV.
They're watching the TV.
I mean, we're making them watch a Treadwater movie.
Right. Two fat guys in a pool.
Like, Brandon's form is so much better than Cheney.
He's terrible.
I was terrible.
How are you doing?
What is this?
No way.
Is that Ben Simmons?
If I walked into this, I'd be like,
Steven is the one you have to be worried about dying.
And the other guy has 10 pounds on his face.
He's not pushing against one.
He's just slicing through it.
Considerably harder with the ankle weight.
I would assume so, yeah.
Brent, you seem naked.
Well, I, yeah.
You're beige.
I was doing fine.
I was doing fine.
If I didn't have the ankle weights, I could have lasted a long time.
Thank God we're in L.A.
Shane's double nuts.
That's how he sits.
We'd be cold as fuck.
We'd be just standing outside, ass naked or something.
The audience is water bored right now.
All right, wait.
Keep going.
Maybe fast forward.
Flip it.
Flip it. Put it in the small.
Put this in the small.
We'll let you go down.
What?
There's not much left.
Okay, there's not much left.
I was wearing 10-pound egg weights.
I think I went.
So much more left.
It's a 50-second.
It fell off.
It's hard to do.
All right, he should have the real fast banana slow banana.
Me?
Yeah, right now.
All right, do it.
Wheel it.
Fast banana slow banana.
Fast bag of Takis, slow bag of Takis.
I don't know that I've ever had Takis.
What?
Oh, yeah, that's good. Good call. Takis are hot. I don't know that I've ever had Takis. Oh, yeah, that's good for you.
Takis are hot.
I don't eat spicy food.
It's not hot.
No, but you love them for sure.
You love them.
I bet they're great.
No, no, do it.
Fast Takis, slow.
I can't make you look like I'm sucking off of Takis.
No, no, no.
Fast Takis, slow Takis.
You're right.
You're right.
The whole bag?
Yeah, the whole bag.
I have to eat the whole bag.
And then you're totally off.
You're totally off the hook.
I'm totally off?
Totally off the hook. Okay, all right. We can get you off. You're totally off the hook? Totally off. Totally off the hook.
Okay, all right.
We can get you off with some Takis.
Juice is Wild as well.
All right, hello.
Juice is Wild would be the third option.
Do you know that person?
No, last night I was outside the pool, and on the third floor there was a girl, a young lady.
She was very worried about me that I was going to fall in the pool wearing these.
No, she thought you were trying to end things.
She went to the bar, and she told people I was suicidal
and that they needed to come watch.
And she's been concerned about me ever since.
And I'm still wearing them, but I'm fine.
I'm going to kill myself.
He's joking.
He's joking.
This guy's joking.
Nice try, Kyle.
I'm fine.
That's a good try, buddy.
It's okay to not be okay.
She's got permanent I was yelling last night voice.
Yes.
She had that last night as well.
A little party voice going on.
She definitely does.
Don't give me the talkies.
I'm going to do a fast talkie, slow talkies.
Kyle, you got to make that wild.
Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Yeah, the juice is wild on there, too.
Oh, okay, yeah, juice is wild.
Best of one.
I think juice is wild means you have to chug an entire pitcher of juice.
Well, we don't have juice.
No, two pitchers like Stone Cold.
Yeah, juice.
Juice is wild.
Bam, and then.
That's fine.
Juice is wild.
They have apple juice here.
What the fuck?
Don't disrespect the talkies, bro.
And now, Brandon, after this, you're fully off the hook.
Okay, I'm off the hook.
So, Juices Wild or Slow Taki Fast Taki?
Yes.
I think so.
Done.
Can we add another Juices Wild?
Can we?
I mean, the technology is there.
We don't have the tech for that, no.
Error.
Four of four.
Too much juice. I would love to see two Ju. No. Error. Four of four. Too much juice.
I would love to see two juices.
Okay, go ahead, TJ.
Some intense, one-of-a-kind fuego flavor.
DJ, spin that shit.
Yes.
Yes.
All right, you got off.
Wait, oh, no, he's got two.
Oh.
This is actually.
Oh, I thought it was elimination.
Yeah, I thought it was elimination.
I thought they all said one off.
We did say one.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, one of them goes off. All right, all right, all right. We did say one. Okay, all right. Yeah, one of them goes off.
All right, all right, all right.
Go ahead.
Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Go ahead.
Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
There you go, Brandon.
It's our first juice is wild.
Good job, Brandon.
That's not how we intend.
Maybe get on the bull, too, for a second.
Oh, juice is wild on the bull?
That could be sexy as fuck.
You guys want to talk about the game?
This girl's just chanting ankle weights.
Ankle weights.
Yeah, dude, let's talk about the fucking game.
She's going to be very concerned for him.
Let's talk about the soupy.
Yes, dude.
Super Bowl presented by New Amsterdam, the official vodka of Barstool Sports.
Look at you.
I've been sucking down New Amsterdam.
KB, let's do some shots.
Wait, what is Brandon about to do?
Is he doing juices wild for sure?
Yeah, he's for sure doing it.
Don't make me feel dumb.
No, I'm saying yes.
I want you to be excited.
Okay, yeah.
Don't make him feel dumb.
This is your thing.
This is your thing.
This is your thing.
He's about to be as red as you right now.
Is he going to do the juices wild for sure?
Yeah, for sure, dude.
For sure.
It's going to be a fruit punch juices wild.
For sure, for sure.
Your brainchild.
I think it'll probably be cranberry juice in the bar.
Are you guys going to the Lakers game?
Yeah.
Who's going?
Kyle.
Oh, no, you're not going, right?
I'm going.
I'm going.
Nice.
Where are the Simmons?
Little Bron Bron?
Yeah, Sasquatch bought his own tickets.
Sasquatch bought courtside.
I don't know why.
Holy shit.
Sasquatch bought courtside.
That's going to be sick.
You have the money.
Yeah.
I actually bought out the whole. The whole what? The whole blow? I bought out all for courtside. That's going to be sick. You have the money. Yeah. Dude, I actually bought out the whole.
The whole what?
The whole bull?
I bought out all the courtside.
Are you looking for the word court?
Close enough.
Nah, bro.
And we had Stephen Chaney who got a tattoo today.
Oh, yeah.
This guy fucking got a tattoo.
Did he get it?
He got a tattoo.
I think so.
We'll have him come up whenever, when we do the next wet wheel.
When someone leaves, he'll come up. And he'll show his tattoo. I think so. We'll have him come up whenever we do the next Wet Wheel. When someone leaves, he'll come up.
He'll show his tattoo.
It's ridiculous.
And if he loses the Wet Wheel, that's bad for the tattoo.
Yeah, no, he said he's been banned from water for two weeks.
Oh, so.
It's a very weird way to say it.
Banned?
Yeah.
He could go in water.
He could just keep his arm up.
Yeah, yeah, but no, he's been banned from water.
What size was it?
His tattoo? It's pretty big. It's the inside of the bicep. All right, but no, he's been banned from water. What size was it? His tattoo?
It's pretty big.
It's the inside of the bicep.
All right, Stephen, come up here and show the tattoo.
Where's Che?
Che, get up here with the tattoo.
I want to see the tattoo.
Where the fuck did Brandon go?
Oh, he went to Jesus.
I know.
I feel drunk like KB.
I think it's rubbed off on all of us.
Yeah, we're getting secondhand drunk.
Let's get another picture up here.
Let's just see any tattoo.
Anybody's tattoo.
Anyone's tattoo. Yeah, that guy's tattoo. You. Let's get another picture up here. Let's just see any tattoo. Anybody's tattoo. Anyone's tattoo.
Yeah.
That guy's tattoo.
You have a yak tattoo?
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah, you do.
Yeah, yeah, and a knee tat.
Probably the only guy in L.A. with tattoos.
Yeah, it might be.
That's fucking Julio.
No, it's not.
Oh, no, no, no.
He's not here today.
That's not Julio.
Hey, Steven.
Steven, let me see.
Let me take a picture of it.
This is, let me take a picture of it. This is, let me take a picture of it.
Oh, look at that.
It's the yak.
What the fuck?
I can't believe he did it.
Man of his word.
And he, like, did it without any fuss, anything.
No fuss, no muss.
Nothing.
And I like the fact you got a white crispy L.A. T-shirt.
You're an L.A. guy now.
I am.
What did your wife say?
She thought it was fine. Initially Initially when she found out I was getting
one, not thrilled. Does she think
it's sexy? I kind of
want to cancel the show forever after that.
Let's
change the name of the show.
I just be like,
we're done with this show.
Cool tattoo.
What's that mean?
That was a blip in our lives.
Obeying your punishments, 100%.
What a concept.
Steven, I like it.
Spicy.
Get that ice cream.
Who didn't obey their punishments?
I didn't.
I have to do a pack of six in penance.
What did I do?
What did you have for breakfast? I of six in penance. What did I do? What did I not do?
What did you have for breakfast?
I didn't have any breakfast.
None?
I had In-N-Out.
It was my only meal I've had today.
Are you sure?
Could it be more positive?
Okay.
What do you know, Big Tech?
Because I saw Rowan coming back with an iced coffee.
I did have an iced coffee.
You're allowed to have that.
I'm allowed to have an iced coffee.
No, but it looks like you might have.
Oh, little crumbs on his lips?
Little blueberry muffin?
Yeah.
Huh. Did you have a blueberry muffin? Yeah. Huh.
Did you have a blueberry muffin?
There's no fucking chance, bro.
Oh, oh, oh.
Jesus Christ.
Everyone's getting drunk off KB.
Everyone's getting secondhand drunk.
I kind of want KB to get drunk after this.
Yes, let's get more drunk, KB.
Fuck it, dude.
He's fucking funny, dude.
Yes, yes.
Should KB get more drunk?
Oh, no.
Juice is wild. Oh, no. He's getting orange. Yes, yes. Jakevi, get more drunk. Oh, no. Juice is wild.
Oh, no.
He's getting orange juice is wild?
This show, it makes no sense anymore.
I was picturing it red.
Wait, don't do it here, Brandon.
Do it in the parking lot.
Don't do it on the stage.
No, do it on the stage.
No, don't do it on the stage.
Where's Dave going to sit?
Don't do it on the stage.
Do it right there in the parking lot.
Do a juice swab.
Yeah, right there is good.
If you want to do it right there, you can. Oh, my God. Juice is wild. Hold on the stage. Do it right there in the parking lot. Do a Juice is Wild. Yeah, right there is good. If you want to do it right there, you can.
Stand on those tables.
Oh, my God.
Juice is wild.
Hold on, Brandon.
Let me get a picture of you.
Let me get a picture so I can tweet it out.
There we go.
Juice is wild.
Yeah, Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Yes.
Juice is wild.
And that's good.
That's good.
Perfect.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's a showman.
Make some noise for me.
He broke the picture.
He broke the picture.
That was awesome.
KP, great idea.
I'm going to meet Acklin with someone.
Holy shit.
He's got the whole pit.
Juice is wild.
Wait, that was awesome.
That was awesome.
I was sick.
That was awesome.
Juice is wild. Yeah, this crowd's awesome. Juice is wild. Wait, that was awesome. That was awesome. I was sick. That was awesome. Juice is wild.
Yeah, this crowd's awesome.
Juice is wild.
We are.
We've just become a.
You sound fantastic.
Solely.
You're like a wrestling show with no wrestling.
This is solely a physical comedy show.
It's like a middle school lunch table.
It is.
It is.
But I mean, obviously, it's more so because we're doing a live show.
But, yeah, I like the tone that this show has taken.
To be fair, that's when I had, like, the most fun in my life.
Yeah, right.
At a middle school lunch table.
That's right.
Good job, man.
And KB was drunk then, too.
I can smell you.
Oh, you actually probably want the wet wheel right now.
Yeah, you probably do.
You would enjoy the wet wheel.
I'm very sticky already.
Put something underneath
you so that when they do the BFFs
they're not like...
His bottom's not wet.
It's pineapple juice.
Brandon loves the pineapple.
Bro, his push-up gonna smell so good.
Yeah, it's very pineapple.
Oh, you are sticky.
Well, that was amazing.
Thank you, Kyle.
Is that better than you expected, KP?
But it pisses me off that, like, we got a crowd that just doesn't give a fuck.
Dude, I tried to deter you from talking shit on the crowd, dude.
Give us more.
You had to say something about the crowd, dude.
Dio, did I get your shoes wet?
You should jump into the crowd and fight them like Gigi Allen.
You should Ron Artest this crowd.
I just want to feel more comfortable.
How could they make you feel more comfortable?
What do you want from them?
He just goes in the crowd and starts fucking throwing.
He wouldn't throw haymakers.
He's going to find Ethan.
Is that his name or Evan?
He's just making everyone tap.
What did Evan say to you to piss you off?
Yo, no, let's do it. Fuck Evan. You know what? Let's take a break, TJ. We're taking breaks? KB, what did Evan say to you to piss you off? Yo, no, let's do it.
Fuck Evan.
No, you know what?
Let's take a break, TJ.
We're taking breaks.
KB, what did Evan say?
He's here, I'll know.
Why'd you get that vocal fry?
He's getting sexy.
Evan's here, I'll know.
That's your Tanix lawn voice.
Brandon doesn't know where his phone is.
You sound like the girl who's worried about Brandon drowning himself.
Is your phone part of Juice is Wild right now?
I can't believe we got a Juice is Wild.
We made Juice is Wild happen.
Yes, that's your idea, KB.
It was amazing.
I wish we got a louder applause.
That's from your brain.
Juice is Wild is from your brain.
The idea of wetness is from KB.
And I wish I reaped the benefits of that more via applause.
No, in five minutes, KB's going to be like, why is Brandon wet?
Look, that guy's got a KB sweatshirt on
right next to Eddie.
Does he?
Yeah.
I'll be god damn.
Look at that.
Holy shit.
Yeah, he does.
Yo, show that sweatshirt.
That's KB.
He's mean.
Look at him.
Wait, when is that going to be?
That's what that is, KB.
Wait, when was that ever a thing?
It kind of looks like KB.
That's supposed to be Joel and B.
Yes, it's KB.
Trust the process, KB.
Trust the process.
Oh, my God, boys, this is surreal.
Goosebumps.
I appreciate you.
Yeah.
He has love, bro.
He's always got you put on a sweatshirt.
He's a real one.
He's got you put on a shirt like that. There's also real one. He's got you put on a shirt like that.
There's also a JPP t-shirt out there, so we know where the one sale went.
Bro, do a sticky check.
Sticky check.
Oh.
Ew.
Oh, my God.
You feel like the floor of a bathroom that someone pissed on.
I know.
What?
I know.
Have you touched those?
I imagine if I stepped on him, it would give that.
Let's step on Brandon.
We should walk on Brandon with that little head.
The cream pie sound?
Yeah, it's the cream pie sound.
Yeah, it's gross.
It's absolutely gross.
He needs some wood, honestly.
He needs to wash his hair with a little bit of wood.
You're good at this.
Oh, yeah, get it.
Go, Rome.
You're good at this.
You can get them at CVS.
Yes.
For real? Yeah, that ass. Or, Roan. You're good at this. You can get them at CVS. Yes. For real?
Yeah.
Dead ass.
Or if you break into our hotel.
Which is very easy.
Theo should have got some wood on his way out.
Did they give you some wood?
What's in the bag they gave you?
Dave didn't give you wood?
Let's do an unboxing.
Yak merch?
Yeah, we got to do a lot of unboxing.
Oh, yeah.
BFFs, buddy. Oh, what? You're going to look cute. Oh, yeah. BFF, buddy.
Oh, what?
You're going to look cute as fuck.
No wonder he has a chance.
That's the Easter collection, bro.
So cute.
Damn, so you'd rather wear the soaking clothes.
That's cute.
That's effed up, bro.
Josh Richards is going to beat your ass.
He's going to beat the shit out of you.
Some carass of beer.
Why not?
That's what the Jews?
Some Mikkels.
Yeah, we're struggling to find one during the day.
Got it.
There's not one at night?
There is.
Oh.
I'd have to go back there.
Oh, yeah, you're going to the show.
I also, actually, I guess I shouldn't say that.
What?
Might be making a guest appearance on another show that's happening directly after this.
What?
No, no, you were fake enough.
That I won't name.
Wait, what show comes after this?
Oh, I can't tell you.
Oh, man.
They booked you?
That's tough to get.
Is there courage?
No, don't tell me.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Do you have sponsors?
I'm trying to save our ass.
So keep doing this.
That's why I love you, brother.
Oh, you come around on me.
Because you didn't like me a minute ago.
What are we talking about?
You call me fat?
Well, that was true.
What the hell was giving you a jab?
Yeah, that was just guys busting balls.
You're the grossest person I've ever met.
You're the only person I love. Oh, wow. You said that to three people in a row Oh, yeah. That was just guys busting balls. You're the grossest person I've ever met. You're the only person I love.
Oh, wow.
You said that to three people in a row.
Love that.
That was amazing.
What?
I don't like you.
He said I was the best person here.
I respect you.
That's why you went juices wild, because he respected you.
Thank you.
Do you have anything to say about me at all?
I did.
I said your goatee looked great.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, he did.
Where was I?
You said you were going to die yesterday. I fucking said it. He didn't. I said your go goatee looked great. No, you didn't. Yeah, you did. Or was I? You said you were going to dye it yesterday.
I fucking said it.
And you didn't.
I said, your goatee looks fucking great, bro.
I ran into some problems.
I'll get the dye.
I'll get the dye.
What problems did you run into?
I grew up with that print as my shower curtain.
This print right here?
The shirt?
Yeah.
I kind of want to get a tattoo now.
That looks like a bottle of Casa Azul.
I would get a...
After seeing Stephen Chay, like, Stephen Chay is the biggest pussy on this show.
He just got a tattoo.
He just went and did it, too.
I would get a yak tattoo if I could stop smoking the cigarettes.
I don't think so, brother.
We should make him get the tattoo because he's not going to smoke all the cigarettes.
If you get a tattoo of a cigarette.
Sass, what number?
A yak smoking a cigarette.
I don't know, like 15? A yak smoking a cigarette. I don't know, like 15?
A yak smoking a cigarette.
Yeah, get a tattoo.
Fuck it.
Have you guys seen TJ's plans?
Yeah, I got five.
No.
TJ's planning for a monster.
Really?
It's a monster?
It's a full sleep.
He's planning for a monster.
That takes like weeks and months.
He's doing a whole sleep.
I'm going Thursday after the show for three hours.
TJ.
TJ, explain what it is.
It's awesome.
What are you doing?
The guy that's doing it does, like, traditional Japanese animals.
So I'm going to get a shark breaching water, eating a duck.
Oh, my God.
Oh, hell yeah.
It's going to cost him, like, $1,000.
TJ, I'll help you with that.
I'll help you.
Well, Dan will pay for it.
We'll help you.
We'll help you.
We will help you.
Brandon will help you.
Actually, I would throw money for TJ's tattoo.
Dio needs some money.
Let's give Dio some money. Some cash? Some cash for Dio? No, no, no. Let's hook him up. Actually, I would throw money for TJ's tattoo. Dio needs some money. Let's give Dio some money.
Cash?
Cash for Dio?
No, no, no.
Let's hook him up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't want it?
Pay for your tap.
Pay for your tap.
Pay for your tap.
Give him something.
Okay, all right.
I will do that, obviously.
But pay for your tap.
Jesus.
What's wrong with him?
Dio.
He's giving it to him.
Oh, that's nice.
Yes.
Yes.
Dio deserves it.
Dio deserves it. Dio deserves it.
You should have signed it so he has to decide whether he wants to spend it or keep it.
A real conundrum.
A little Sophie's Choice.
How much did you give him?
A hundo.
Is that not enough?
Did you get a hundred?
Hit me up.
DM me after this.
I'll be choked up.
You deserve way more, brother.
KB, how much was that outfit?
Now that you're drunk, tell the truth about how much you spent on that outfit.
First of all, they don't even...
Wait, what is this?
Were you stuffing the whole time?
Were you stuffing the whole time?
Jesus Christ.
Were you stuffing?
Did you want us to think that was your cock and ball?
Sasser may be closer.
You guys got to put your mics close to your mouth.
That's what I've been told.
I've been up against Mike.
You were stuffing.
We're in a different time zone.
What the hell?
He's right.
It probably worked until now.
KB, did you get full nude for the spray tan?
I got underwear on.
Box briefs.
Did you have the hat in the briefs? I had the hat on, yeah.
In the briefs or on your head?
I had the hat on and the full pants on.
She made me take them off.
But you could keep the hat on?
I could keep the hat on, yeah.
And that's a new necklace today, isn't it?
That's a new piece.
Yeah.
Oh, that is.
A little wheelie.
Something slight.
Something slight.
Love it.
That looks so sick, bro.
Dude, do you burn?
Fuck him up.
You burn?
Stand up.
Stand up.
Fuck him up.
Should we do our second wet wheel?
We're about to be.
Yeah.
Are we at the end of the week?
And it's just.
I just got a cold.
Wait, do we have paintball guns?
What?
We do.
I want to like
just demolish
the people in the back
who are looking
at their phones.
Why?
It's like one really
nice guy back there
is like, dude,
I got stuck
with a bad seat.
I am the furthest
corner.
We're trying to have
a show and I keep
looking and people
dump it on this barrel
or something. What do you want to do? I want them to look. They're watching us. We're trying to have a show, and I keep looking, and people dump it on this barrel or something.
What do you want them to do?
I want them to look.
They're watching us.
They're watching us.
This is a better crowd.
Dude, you have headphones.
You can't hear when they laugh.
You can't hear when they do anything.
What is that, dude?
You have no idea.
This guy wants to ask to get a raise.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Clap it up for Sass.
That's what I need.
That's what it took.
Okay.
He's also got a free Rico sign on the back.
Oh, we know. You have two signs. How many signs do you have? He's got three or four signs. Sign guy. Sign guy. That's what it took. Okay. He's also got a free Rico sign on the back. Oh, wait, no.
You have two signs.
How many signs?
He's got a lot of signs.
Sign guy.
Sign guy.
He's our yak sign guy.
That was a limited drop sweatshirt as well.
Yeah.
Oh, yak sign guy, dude.
Start the Twitter account.
That might be Evan.
All right, let's do the wheel.
Wet wheel number two.
Wait, have we done?
We need to add someone, though.
Have we done 5K wheel yet?
No, I don't think we added an audience member again.
I think, why not?
No, because Dio already got it for the audience today.
Does Dio represent all of you?
Oh, that's true, that's true.
No, Dio represents everyone, because we all...
Yeah, because Ron was off.
Right, right, right.
So that's what I'm saying.
So we're not doing audience for the rest of the week?
I don't think...
I mean, if we're playing by that...
Unless someone looks real dry.
What if someone looks super dry?
Are you dry?
What's your name?
That's the thing.
What if we have some real dry people come tomorrow?
All right, fine.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
He's a little moist, though.
And this is helping our odds.
Yeah.
Well, no, we're going to end up with one dry one anyway, no matter what.
So that's the thing is we have to get to one.
You are right.
We're going to have to have Friday be the last one.
I have to piss if you want to drink a beer.
I have to piss as well.
What does that mean?
We should all go piss.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Piss your pants.
That makes sense.
No, don't piss your pants.
I just had that beer.
All right, let's just do a wheel then because, I mean, the people want a wheel.
They want a wet wheel.
We just play the hits.
The thing is about this show and where we're going, it's just going to be like a suicide wheel.
And they'll be like, yeah, let's go.
Put me on it.
Someone fucking die.
Tia, would you have killed yourself?
Will you die for us?
Yes.
Stand ready.
Would you drink the punch?
To be a legend forever?
Easy choice.
Yeah.
What was that guy's name?
What was that guy's name who killed himself again in our show?
That guy's a fucking legend.
The utmost respect.
Why do I have to smoke two more packs?
You don't.
Are you done with your two packs?
Yeah, you don't.
No, you're done.
You're good.
Check it off.
Also, when you say that, don't say Big Cat.
Say, like, the show, because then it makes me seem like I'm just forcing everyone to do this.
The yak with Big Cat.
Does he still have to smoke?
Do I have to still do this?
I really don't, my tummy hurts from all the cigarettes
You good?
Who are you pointing at?
I'm sure he's looking at us like worried
That security guard
Who, Mike? Anthony?
Bro, go shoot the leg, KB
Do it, take him down right there
He's itching to fight Take his ass down Hey, you good? Bro, go shoot the leg, KB. Do it. Take him down right there.
He's itching to fight. Take his ass down.
Hey, you good?
Yeah.
Hey.
Not today.
He would fuck me up.
He's your malnourished ass.
No.
It's a protein.
You've got to eat.
I haven't been eating.
KB, at what point tomorrow are you going to realize what you post online today?
I don't know.
I mean, this whole
episode, I'm going to have to deal with.
You've been very funny. Yeah, you've been
very funny. Funnier than usual.
Your honesty is what makes you funny.
When you're all mean to all of us?
Your disdain for the audience is
beautiful. It's awesome. I hate them.
I hate them.
Come down to L.A.
I just want you guys to give us something.
Just like at least like a sigh or something.
You're acting like you're queen.
You like need more of the audience.
Well, it's fucking awkward when we're sitting on stage and no one's giving us anything.
What are they supposed to do?
Nothing. I love them.
Steven, did you forget the apostrophe on your
tattoo? Oh my god.
Oh, Che.
Everyone's replying right now being like,
what? No apostrophe on its,
Che? Wait, it's cursive?
Steven, what are you doing?
Che, come back up here.
Who's the yak, is it? Wait, Steven, are you
serious? The word was its? Yeah. Who's the yak, is it? Wait, Stephen, are you serious?
The word was it's?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He forgot the apostrophe.
Oh, no.
Is there an apostrophe, Jay?
Oh, no.
No way.
Jay.
The word it's?
What is he doing?
Who wrote it?
Stephen.
He said the artist didn't speak English.
You all you have to do is just spell out it's the yak.
Bro, he should have gone to TJ's traditional Japanese dude.
Yeah.
Dropped a thousand on it just to get it right.
Oh, no, Steven.
You can't even add the apostrophe because it's cursive.
No, it's cursive, though. I don't know, dude.
That's a joke.
I was thinking about getting the yak shaved in,
but the last time I did that, I got my baseball number,
and the guy did it in the mirror and did it backwards.
I had to go to a second guy and get it shaved into a shamrock.
That's pretty cool.
What number was it, five?
23.
23?
Oh, and then my mom went back and complained,
and he said he didn't speak to women.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's the hardiest laugh KB's had.
There's no place for an apostrophe.
There's no place for an apostrophe.
Wait, where is he?
Tell him to come on.
Steven, come up here.
There's literally no place for an apostrophe.
You're probably going to have to make it shit there.
Shit's the yak.
Shit's the yak. Good call. Or quit's the yak. Shit's the Yak. Shit's the Yak.
Good call.
Or Quit's the Yak.
Quit's the Yak.
Quit's the Yak.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, good one.
Quit's the Yak.
Oh, who's that?
Someone bought that?
No.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, no.
The audience bought it for you.
The audience.
Oh, you wanted something from the audience, and they gave you something, and now you're
spitting in the audience's face.
Wow.
I promise you. That is very interesting audience's face. I promise you,
I can't do this.
That is very interesting.
How convenient.
I promise you,
I was just at my hotel
vomiting profusely.
I cannot do this.
Okay, so put it down.
Oh, bro,
you wanted something so bad
from the audience, dude.
Don't make it like this.
You fucking wanted
something so bad
and they give you something.
Boo him.
Take off once
so you can hear them booing you.
Take off once
so they can hear you.
Fuck this. No, I'm doing to you. Take off once so you can hear you. Fuck this.
No, I'm getting fucked.
Oh, wrong!
Man of the people.
Steven, there is...
Can we zoom in on Steven's tattoo?
There is no place for an apostrophe.
Look at this.
Look at this.
There is no place for an apostrophe. Look at this. Look at this. There is no place for an apostrophe.
There's no apostrophes in cursive.
Yes, there are.
What?
Yes, there are.
Steven, look, he actually.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
Hold on.
I think this tattoo artist was like, it's so fucking.
She didn't speak English.
Yeah, no, she did.
She was like, it's so fucking funny that he forgot an apostrophe.
I'm going to put the T in the S so close.
There's nothing you can do.
There's nothing he can do.
I'm fine with this.
I like it.
Of course he does.
You need to get the blue squiggly line underneath.
Do you realize now, though?
No, I think it would look weird with an apostrophe.
No, it would look correct.
I'm pretty sure there's no apostrophes in Curses.
There's, yes.
What does that mean?
Same for after the show.
What is it?
I forgot we're online.
Hank just called.
Hank, yeah.
Hank, I got a bone to pick for that.
He just has a bone to pick.
Nick, you know exactly what it is.
I know exactly what it is, but this can wait.
He's got a what?
I forgot I was on.
A bone to pick.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
You forgot you were on?
What is it? It's a true bone. Hank, you know what it is? Hank, do you know? A bone to pick. Oh, shit. What is it?
Hank, do you know what it is?
Hank, do you know what his bone to pick is?
Oh, damn.
All right, do the wheel now that we have everyone up here.
Wet wheel.
Steven has to eat before, especially if it lands on him.
No, actually, you should save it.
No, Steven, if he has to.
So I'm banned from bodies of water.
I'm not supposed to go in the pool or the ocean or anything.
That's not the word.
That's not the word.
Not allowed to go in?
It's not recommended.
But if you walk to the ocean right now, there wouldn't be police being like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me see your arm real quick.
Also, you can just keep your arm prohibited from going.
Yes, that's what I'll do.
We got a man walking into the ocean right now.
And he looks like he's got a freshly tattooed man walking into the ocean.
A nonsensical...
He's got a purse up on his arm.
All right, wait, Stephen, if you get it right now,
then you should eat the ice cream while walking down the street.
Yeah.
So wait.
I mean, I have a lot of ice cream.
I know.
Start with the regular cone.
I'll start with the regular cone.
Okay, start with the regular cone, yeah.
All right, go ahead, do the...
Yeah, let's do the wheel.
Stephen got a tattoo that makes no sense.
Fuck you guys.
Oh, it's so good.
I don't want this at all.
No one does.
No one does.
It's not that bad, guys.
No.
It is so just.
So just.
It is just.
God damn it.
Where's the chins?
The only man banned from Bodies of Water.
Oh, man.
This is going to suck.
I kind of want it to be KB just because I...
It would sober him up.
It would.
Or he'd drown.
We'd need to have someone walk him back.
And if the spray tan runs off of him.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, they catch.
The wheel is just.
I needed that.
We kneel to the wheel.
I'm going to jackass after this.
You are?
Yeah.
Am I going to have to just be quiet at the Laker game?
What?
No.
Okay, will you write me an exemption?
What?
Will you write me an exemption if it's me?
Uh, no.
Okay.
Owen.
Fuck.
I don't like this at all.
This is where it gets scary.
Yeah.
And like the people remaining on here are all my brothers.
Yeah.
This sucks.
I love you all.
Damn.
Jesus.
My eyes are sticking together.
What? Oh. Jesus. Jesus. My eyes are sticking together. What?
Oh.
Juice.
Juice is wild.
That will happen when you do Juice is Wild.
His eyes are stuck.
Oh, my God.
Brandon.
Oh, fuck.
Do you get a pink eye from the Juice is Wild?
Can I just do it?
I'd like to go get in the pool.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I don't think so, brother.
Well, you can do one for out of joy, but it won't count as yours.
Sir.
Ew.
Just.
Ew.
Dude, that looks gross.
It looks like you have congenital cow disease.
You look like you have folliculitis.
Oh.
Ew.
Ew.
Ew.
Wait, look that way, and then close your eye and open it.
No, no, wait.
Ew, it's stuck. Ew. That's disgusting. way, and then close your eye and open it. No, no, wait. Ew, it's stuck.
Ew.
That's disgusting.
Are you allergic to pineapple?
Juice is wild.
Pineapple.
I'll do that.
It's becoming a butthole.
Juice is wild.
Who's getting wet?
I hope it's Nick.
It won't be Nick.
Oh, if it's Nick.
Come on.
Nick.
Nick.
I told you it wouldn't be Nick.
I told the people. KB. Sass is not looking happy. All right, best of seven. I got. Welcome aboard. Nick. I told you it wouldn't be Nick. I told the people.
KB.
Sass is not looking happy.
All right, best of seven.
I'm going to go on BFFs.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
Best of seven.
What is this?
You're not going on BFFs today?
What do you mean, what is this?
The Laker game starts in an hour, so which one are you doing?
Oh, wait, does it really?
Yeah.
I thought it started at 8.30.
No, 7.
7. Someone told me it at 8.30. No, 7. 7.
Someone told me it was 8.30.
Wait, so you bought two tickets to the Lakers game
for yourself. Courtside.
Yeah, you're not going to make it.
Yeah, it sounds like it.
He told you it was 8.30.
Yeah, he's right.
I must have bought a different game. Do you love the TikTok shit?
You love that TikTok shit. You love that TikTok shit.
I do.
Okay.
I can't believe you're going to talk to Dave for the first time.
Best of seven.
You didn't get a raise?
No.
They were nice when the wind was so cold.
That's one KB.
That's one KB.
All right, KB.
KB took All right, KB. KB's looking dry.
KB, did you like that?
They clapped for you.
He didn't hear.
And one Sass.
All right, best of five.
One will go Sass. One will go, Sass.
One will try.
That's one KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB.
Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB. Two KB.
Three KB.
Sass is so mad.
You'll be alright.
You'll be alright, Sass.
That Joel Embiid sweatshirt looks so much like KB.
Hey!
There's the KB.
There you go.
What's the score?
That's it, right?
That's it.
That's it.
That's it. Oh it That's it Oh no
Fuck outta here
See ya
Get the fuck outta here
Bye bye
See ya
Bye bye
Bye bye
Buy the boy dad sweatshirt
It looks great wet
It looks so good wet
Bye bye
We're about to see his body
Bye bye
We're really about to see his body
So how many of us are left?
Uh one two No three four Five six Yeah Bye-bye. We're really about to see his body. So how many of us are left? One, two, no, three, four, five, six.
Yeah.
So we got to do two tomorrow and two on Thursday.
Yeah, we banked two-man Tuesday not having Dio.
Yeah.
So we got to do two tomorrow and two on Thursday.
That's right.
Yep.
Okay.
Brandon, you look miserable, bud.
Oh, man.
Your jizz is going to taste like –
Do you know what you need to do? You need to do more juice
The wetter the juice
Everyone's agreeing with me
The acidity of the juice
Don't get the mic wet
Don't get the mic wet
It's sopping
You got to juice yourself
If you go more juice then you'll be better
No I'm good I need to go
What? You need to go.
What?
Your eyes are like, you're not going anywhere.
You need to go? What the fuck does that mean?
I'm not going anywhere.
My face is stuck together. No, you got nowhere to go.
Alright, fine.
Stop being melodramatic.
If you eat three bananas, you can go.
Slow banana fast.
Yeah, it's over there.
Slow talking, fast talking.
Yeah, three.
Is that the same guy from last night?
Yeah, he took his bananas off.
He dropped the bananas off.
He brought bananas. He took them to his. As soon as the sun went Yeah, he took his sunglasses off. He dropped the bananas off. He brought bananas.
He took them to his.
The sun went down.
He took them off.
All right.
How about a little football talk?
If you do slow banana, fast banana, butt banana.
I'm not doing butt banana.
Let's do some football talk.
Steven, what do you think about the big game?
Steven needs a Palm Sunday.
Okay, all right.
A little breakdown of the game. Steven needs a palm Sunday. Okay, all right. Just a little breakdown
of the game.
Should be exciting.
Nick will beat Nick.
All right, that's it.
That's our Super Bowl talk.
Woo!
All right, go ahead
and eat your Sunday.
That's good.
Nick's going.
Can you get a quote?
You're not going.
You're going?
Yeah.
How?
I bought tickets.
I bought a suite.
You're the biggest Rams fan I know.
I'm the biggest Rams fan
ever since they got Bolger.
Wait, you're going to the Super Bowl? Yeah. The average
cost of a ticket is like $5,000
plus. More. How'd you get a ticket?
Brother.
Are you going with Antonio Brown?
I'm not going with Antonio Brown. That would have been sick.
Are you going with Neek? No.
No. I thought you were. No, I'm going with
somebody else. How are you going? I linked up somebody else.
How did you afford it? What are you doing? Stop pocket watching him, KV. I'm going with somebody else. I linked up somebody else. How did you afford it?
What are you doing?
Stop pocket watching him, KV.
I'm not.
Don't watch another man's pockets.
All right.
I'm going with somebody who starred in the movie Super Size Me.
Shut up.
What?
Ronald McDonald?
I'm not saying who.
I fucking knew it.
I've been living Spurlock's life all week.
I'm not saying who. I've been Spurlocking. Every time there's a discrepancy in what we do, been living Spurlock's life all week.
I've been Spurlocking. Every time there's a discrepancy in what we do, it's Spurlock.
No, that's bullshit.
I've been Spurlocking.
I deserve it more than you.
Maybe he got Spurlocked out, and I won't let him in.
I don't give a fuck about the game.
I don't care.
Yes, you do.
You secretly don't care, but you definitely know, like, every practice squad player on both teams.
I never said who it was.
You didn't?
You played it close to the chest.
Ew, what type of ice cream is that?
Oh, God.
Why is it green?
You just got wasabi.
What the fuck is that, pistachio?
Pistachio.
Ew.
What hue is that?
How old are you?
You're like Mater in Cars 2.
Fucking disgusting.
No big deal.
Just like that. That's a great reference, wasn't it? Put some Takis on there, just for a little spice. cars too. No big deal.
That's a great reference, wasn't it?
Put some Takis on there, just for a little spice.
The ice cream has turned. Turn, turn, turn.
Are you out?
There goes Sass.
Sass is going.
Sass is on his way out.
Alright, Sass.
I love that dude.
Honestly, getting it, then you don't have to worry about it for the rest of the week.
But how much he's grown before our eyes.
It's true.
Remember, he was on, like, the sandwich episode, right?
Yeah.
So much experience.
Complaining.
And complaining, and now he's just down.
It's awesome.
He had to go to the store.
Bro, he's not going.
What the fuck, bro?
Oh, wait.
I take it back.
Bro, he stopped.
Yeah, he's just.
What the fuck, bro?
This is some fucking bullshit, bro.
I knew he'd try to get out of it, dude.
Classic Sash move, dude.
How does he do him?
Che, you look like Mater from Cars 2.
Oh, my God.
He does.
Damn.
I should have thought of that.
Owen, bro.
Hold Owen back, bro.
Yo, that's.
That's.
Oh, no.
This shit's mad funny.
What is that, bro?
My boy.
My baby boy.
Owen.
Owen.
Owen.
Owen, bro. Oh, you. Oh, win, bro.
Oh, you're crushing it, bro.
Can Joel Embiid come up here?
I need a side-by-side.
Does he appear?
Not actually.
By the way, tomorrow we have two guests.
Really?
That would be weird for them.
They're going to love it.
Are the guests on the wheel?
Yeah, I think so.
Orlando Skandrick and Marlon Humphrey.
That would be fun.
My boys.
Yes.
Both your boys.
You said that Scandrick's a dick.
You can call him a dick to anyone that'll listen.
So a couple years ago I said if I saw him, it's on site.
Yeah.
It's a free thing.
We should actually, you know what?
We got to do that.
We got to Photoshop a bunch of tweets of us talking shit to them.
Talking shit.
Yeah. Everybody has tweets of shit. If I see Scandrick us talking shit to them. Talking shit. Yeah.
Everybody has tweets of shit.
If I see Scandrick, it's on site.
And I did say that.
Hold me to this.
Yeah, we need to do it, too,
where it's like a picture of you with the Cabela's hat and the Lakers jersey
as your profile picture.
Yeah.
But we don't know which one of us tweeted this.
We're going to read me tweets.
Read me tweets.
Yeah, it's okay.
We'll blur you out.
We'll lightly blur you out, but it'll be exactly your ass.
Like, I'll fuck Orlando Scandrick up with these hands.
Hold me to this.
All right, can someone make those Photoshopped tomorrow?
Brandon, you're good, man.
Did you meet a guy?
What's that mean?
I'm singing time out.
I'm singing time out.
From what?
From Juices Wild?
All right, so we're going to do...
Wait, can you make those?
Yeah.
You're going to juice them?
Make them yours then for both of them.
Are they going to be really fucked up? Use some water. Rinse yours for both of them. Are they going to be really fucked up?
Use some water.
Rinse out with water.
What?
Are they going to be really fucked up?
What do you mean?
Like, am I going to make some...
Am I going to say some fuck shit?
Yeah, you're going to say some real fuck shit.
Okay.
Some twisted shit.
Some real twisted shit.
Oh, Jesus.
Okay.
But we'll never reveal that it's you.
Yes.
We'll just say we found some mean tweets.
Okay.
I think the profile picture should just be a zoomed in LeBron jersey.
It should be your face.
What exactly you're wearing, but blur it out a little bit.
I feel like we're losing members of this show.
Where did Sas go?
It's a scary movie.
Why don't we have the video?
Do they know that?
Probably not.
The walk is boring. He. Oh, there he is.
The walk is boring.
He's been in the same spot.
This is like speed.
Why is he trying to cross there?
There's no crosswalk.
I'm sick of my references right now.
You are on fire.
It's like speed.
I am fucking on fire.
It's so sick.
It's like speed.
It's exactly like speed.
How is this like speed?
It's like speed.
When they put the camera
and it loops?
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, is it?
That's like speed. Clap it up. That's like speed. That's like speed. When they put the camera and it loops. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, is it it? That's like speed.
It's popping up.
That's like speed.
That's like speed.
No, seriously, though.
If you're in New York, people are like, why are they just filming him standing here?
In LA, they're all just like, this is normal.
What?
That's Cody Lanza.
All right, yeah, turn off that button.
Uh-oh.
Turn those off.
Annoying.
We're about to see that on the video.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Oh, yeah, that's pretty cool.
That's wild how that works.
Wait.
Oh, no. No, no, no. No, yeah, that's pretty cool. That's wild how that works. Wait. Oh, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No.
I really do think we should do a wheel get hit by a car.
Yeah, that should be something.
Like, lightly.
They didn't start running until they got all the way across.
Like, jumping.
He was walking in front of the car and then jogged onto the sidewalk.
That's the best way.
Let's go, Sassy.
Why not, bro?
Dude, he's growing up so much. It's been awesome to see. Hello, Kareem. It's wild. We've molded him in all of Sassy. Why not, bro? Dude, he's grown up so much.
It's been awesome to see.
We've molded him in all of our image.
Why is he talking? This is not part of the assignment.
He's got to get wet. He was just breaking into the boys.
This is where we could lose Wi-Fi.
I feel like this stairwell.
Let's see.
Stay on him, Cody. Stay close to him.
If he gets too far away, he'll pixelate.
You think he's going to go shallow or deep?
Shallow. I think he's going to go shallow or deep? Shallow.
I think he's going to go deep.
Dio set a bar high.
Yeah.
But Sass isn't Dio.
Dio!
Sass will never beat Dio.
Sass will never fucking beat Dio.
Dio's wet ass.
Dio, Dio, Dio.
Here he goes.
Hopefully he does.
He's surveying.
He's going shallow.
No, he's not.
He's taking his shoes off.
Is he going to wade in?
I can see him doing it. He's going to put his's going shallow. No, he's not. He's taking his shoes off. Is he going to wade in? I can see him doing it.
He's going to put his toe in first.
Ooh.
Ooh, it's spicy.
Oh, he's taking his whoop.
He's taking the whoop off.
Aren't those waterproof?
Yeah, they are.
Sass.
He's going deep.
He's going belly flop.
Yeah, fuck it.
Do a belly flop.
Fuck yeah, bro.
No, everybody's going belly flop.
He's going, like, right in the middle.
Right in the middle.
If I get...- Oh my god!
Sass!
Oh!
What did he see? I don't know.
Is MB here? If I get wet,
we want to break in the New Amsterdam bottle
in the middle. That's fair. Wednesday
is when she said. She said Wednesday. There it is.
There it is. Yeah, I'm breaking that. Enjoy it.
Oh, he's having fun.
He looks like when Lieutenant Dan fell off
the back of the boat.
Just enjoying life.
That's a good reference.
That's a good reference.
Yeah, that's a great
reference, dude.
Oh, we're referencing.
Second hour, we fucking
drop crazy refuse.
For those who haven't
seen Forrest Gump,
it's a special needs
AIDS movie.
That's pretty much
the two plot points.
Yeah, it's the co-genres. It's the co-genres.
My two favorite co-genres.
Brandon, are you back?
From what?
Do you need to go to the bathroom and wash off your face?
No, I'm struggling, but I'm good.
I'm good.
You got this.
It's dry.
My eyes are dry.
I'm good.
Being sticky sucks.
Being sticky is a lot worse than being wet.
Nah.
A lot worse.
Well, being sticky starts with wet.
You can't be sticky without wet.
That's true.
Owen, you okay
that was a yawn
Kyle how
are you scanning the audience
I'm slowly
coming to terms
with the fact
that I've been
blacked out
and now I'm not
oh you're coming too
that's very embarrassing
get him a drink
please
get him a drink
you want to be
blacked out more
no one should have
to go through this
I think I want to get more blacked out.
Are you all back in the tunnel?
Kyle, you've been treating the crowd like shit the whole time.
Oh, my God.
You posted a nude today.
Yeah, you did, and I reposted it.
Did you repost it?
I tweeted it.
How's it doing?
It's doing well.
We knew you didn't have pubes.
On my Instagram, too.
You have no pubes.
Yeah.
And you're very mean to Nick, and Nick has never been anything but so nice to you.
No, I'm mean to him off camera.
Is that true?
I'm awful to him.
Is that true, Kyle?
Yeah.
Oh, bro, we need to get you drunk again.
This is making me sad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're very stupid.
I'm sorry.
But this is humanizing.
This is super humanizing.
Do an ad read, bro.
Do an ad read.
Maybe that will bring you two.
Bring yourself back with an ad read.
Let's hear it for the ads.
Shout out all of our sponsors.
Dave's not going to like seeing this wet ass.
Football's hottest and most intense game is coming up,
and you need game day snacks to match the intensity.
Taki's rolled tortilla chips create a
distinctive crunch and deliver the
intense...
Intensity of one
of a kind fuego flavor.
The official vodka of Barstool Sports.
Golden...
Keep going.
Dude, I'm going to fucking kill myself.
You're doing good, KB.
You're doing good, KB.
Come on.
You're sobering up.
Yeah, this guy's great.
We need to hit...
You have to find Rock Bottom.
We did do the talkies at all.
We did it.
Yeah, that's okay.
Kind of a bonus.
Did you guys eat any on camera or no?
No, that's fine.
You're not about to talk.
Sass did have a couple.
I was.
Sass had a couple tacos.
Pass it down to him.
He wants to.
This is my favorite snack.
I know.
Or not.
You haven't eaten all week.
That's the best thing.
Oh, no.
He's going to binge.
He almost just ate the mic.
He's so hungry.
The man is so hungry.
You almost ate your finger.
No.
Your lips are about to be so red, too.
Oh, no.
You guys don't want Takis?
I want Takis, but not right now.
Did you hear what I said about them?
I'll have a Taki.
Thanks, Kyle.
Bar none.
Sell me this pen.
Bar none.
Bar none.
Owen, how are you feeling, bro?
I feel good.
Did you have the take of a high-grade edible or the low-grade edible?
I don't know.
I just asked TGA for one. Oh, that's high-grade. or the low-grade edible? I don't know. I just asked TGA for one.
Oh, that's high-grade.
Oh, yeah.
He doesn't fuck around.
No, definitely not.
He's dead serious about it.
BFF's coming up after this.
Is Sass really going to be on BFF tonight?
I don't know.
He said so.
It's the fact that he thought the game was going to be good.
Wait, wait, wait.
I got a pot.
These are good.
I can't stress it enough.
These are fire.
These are fucking fire.
They're very hot, and I can't drink.
Intenso good, though.
Insano.
Have a sip, Nick.
I can't do that.
Piss yourself.
The wheel was so just to keep you dry.
It's true.
We survive in advance.
Tomorrow, two more.
Thursday, two more.
Then the final two on Friday.
Brandon, what are you going to do before the Lakers game as far as getting all this juice off you?
I'm going to run out of here, and I'm going to go shower, and I'm going to go to the Lakers game.
That sounds like a good plan to me.
I can go get showered up and ready to go in ten minutes.
I think we're going to be very late.
Aren't we?
If we leave at 730, we'll be late.
Where do the Lakers play, bro?
It's 45 minutes at 2 p.m., and I imagine it's going to be a lot longer than that.
Well, let's see what it says right now.
At the crypt, bro.
Oh, look who it is.
Sassy, sassy, sassy.
What is hell?
What is hell?
He's got that spiky hair, that fucking naturally.
47 minutes.
Oh, way to be, Sass.
We can end 10 minutes early.
No.
I got to get to Jackass, too.
I got to go.
Yeah, no, we can.
We can end at 5.50.
Let's go, Sass.
All right, Sass!
Let's go!
Way to go, Sass.
Sass earned himself a carafe of apple juice.
That's right, Sass.
Grab that apple juice as you walk past it.
It's carbonated.
That sparkling apple juice.
It's French style.
So you know you're gonna like it.
How do you feel, Sass?
You look wet as fuck.
You look printed up, though, bro.
You do look mega printed.
Yeah.
So printed.
You've got a mega print.
Oh, my God.
One of one print.
And you're doing PFFs after this, Sass?
They booked you?
Why did they book you?
Did they book you to argue with their, or did they book you because you're –
Come on.
I got you.
I got you.
We just talked about your growth.
Brandon can't even see.
Brandon's got the eyes of a leper right now.
Come on.
Come on now.
Come on.
Come on.
Ooh.
Ooh?
Brandon, is juice leaking out of your shoe?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Ew.
That's disgusting. Oh, my. Ew. That's disgusting.
Oh, my God.
It smells so sweet.
Yeah, the juice got everywhere.
So, wait.
Are you guys going to do stand-up tonight or tomorrow?
I've got to get on the street, do my mime.
I've got no idea.
I guess I can't go to the Lakers game, which sucks.
You did buy two tickets.
Are they really good tickets?
Just be a little bit late.
Just go for the first half of BFF, then leave here,
and then you'll get to the Lakers game.
That's the cool thing to do out here.
Yeah, dude.
No, not for me.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
The tip-off is my favorite part.
Yeah.
Like a circumcision.
I usually leave right after that.
Why don't you just rollerblade there?
Yeah, you could.
Rollerblading is way harder
than I remember it to be.
Yes.
I was so light,
like my ankles
aren't strong enough.
It's hard on the shins, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, you gotta tape up.
Yeah.
I tied it super tight too.
Damn.
What were they saying
when you got back to the hotel?
You saw Kareem and Liam there.
I was like,
I didn't know the Lakers game was at 7.
And he was like, tell Dave that.
Fuck you, dude.
That was a great Kareem impression.
Yeah, that was good.
Are you going to tell him?
No.
So you're just going to come out here wet?
No, I'm going to figure something out.
You kind of popped yourself in.
Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll hook me up with some of that BFFs. Buy some, dude. Buy some. You got of popped yourself in. Maybe if I'm lucky,
they'll hook me up
with some of that BFFs.
Buy some, dude.
Buy some.
You got the race?
Buy some.
They'll probably make me
buy some.
Yeah.
There's some kids
walking by,
so be careful, KP.
They're waving to us.
Bye.
Maybe leave?
Not for you.
No, Mom.
Mom, put your camera down.
You got to get them out of here.
What do you want to say to these kids, KB?
KB, you want them up here?
No, I don't want any of these kids.
You've wanted to talk on this show for so long.
Get the kids out of here.
Let's put them on the wheel.
The only kid we want is Tommy Walker.
Yeah.
Shout out Tommy Walker.
Shout out Tommy Walker.
Fuck yes.
The people love Tommy.
TJ, bring him out.
Bring him out.
Tommy actually had to take four edibles today.
He's one of us.
He's one of us.
He's been riding the mechanical bull.
It's Tommy Walker.
That would be an all-time entrance if Tommy Walker was here.
We just dropped him in.
That would be great.
Dude, did you flip to some new shoes?
I like the Nauticas on you.
Yeah, the Nauticas.
Wait, Brad, what's the problem? I'm wearing those. It's not an ad deal. Yeah, it's an ad deal new shoes? I like the Nauticas on you. Yeah, the Nauticas. Wait, Brad, what's your walking around?
It's been an ad deal. Yeah, it's an
ad deal. No big deal. Damn, you got the
Nautica bag? I don't think you're supposed
to wear socks with them, though. Why not?
You look like a fucking loser.
You do not look like a loser. I only packed
wool socks for L.A. I wasn't quite thinking.
So now I just, I've been,
I don't know what to do. Wait a second.
Wait a second. Wait a second second he was supposed to pack your socks
oh no
Nicky
Nicky
another wet wheel
we did a luggage swap
where we swapped our suitcases
unzoom me
fuck you TJ
you had dummy luggage, too.
I pack things in my backpack
like my socks and my delicates.
Oh, no, Nicky.
It's unmentionable.
It's still carry-on luggage.
Nicky, Nicky, Nicky.
It was a backpack. It's not luggage.
That is no bueno, my friend.
What do I have to do?
I think you have to suck us all off.
You have to suck us all off. Suck us all off.
Unfortunately, bro.
We're not going to have to come in your mouth, bro.
Sucking us all off is the only way out of this.
Brandon's going to be sweet.
Okay, fine.
Fine, pick it now.
Oh, no, do a wheel for the order.
We'll get sucked off.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
How did Pete turn into a shock girl?
Oh, no.
Pete's the bottle service girl.
BFFs merch.
Thank you.
Pete's about to come up here with a sign that says KB and two sparklers.
This is so nice.
You don't want one?
KB, you don't want one?
They got me the Pete Stained BFFs gear.
You don't want one, KB?
I'm not taking them.
It was just returned today.
These are actually nice.
Does anyone want this?
Drink it, dude.
Do it for the people.
If you want a shot, come on.
Pour it down his throat.
Body shot, bro.
Yeah, baby bird it.
Baby bird it to him.
Off your oblique, bro.
Baby bird it.
Do it off your gay hearing.
Body shot down your abs.
Oh, no.
Oh, this is sensual. You're not pouring it. You've got to commit. You're not pouring it. You it on your gay hearing. Body shop down your abs. Oh, no. Oh, this is sensual.
You're not pouring.
You've got to commit.
You're not pouring.
You've got to commit.
You wasted all of it.
You juiced and wilded it.
You juiced and wilded it.
Sass, give him your merch.
Maybe he thought he nailed that, too.
I hope I don't get pulled over on the way home.
It's all in his eyes.
What was that liquor?
It was whiskey.
The thumbs up that KB gave after like, yeah.
That was Blackberry Brandy.
He's going to be stickier than Brandon.
Oh, man.
It was worth it.
For who?
For you to do to Bukowski.
See him with that shot?
That wasn't cool.
It's a fire memory that he'll always have.
It's going to go fast.
You've got to tip the ship fast. You'll always have that memory. It's a fire memory that he'll always have. It's going to go fast. You've got to tip the ship fast.
He'll always have that memory.
It's slow pour.
Good shit, boys.
Dude, how about Chase fucking break down the Super Bowl?
Can we get a replay of that?
Yeah, that was awesome.
That was incredible.
What did you say?
It's going to be exciting?
It's going to be exciting.
Bro, did Josh Richards just sign a baby over there?
I think he did.
Yeah, he definitely signed a baby.
What is that baby doing?
He signed a baby.
He signed a baby. So appreciative. I wish? He signed a baby. He signed a baby.
So appreciative.
I wish I had a crew like that waiting for me when I got back from the pool.
They've got the baby.
Focus on the show.
He's super young.
All those guys over there.
No, no.
Yeah, berate them, KB.
They're not paying attention.
They're all fucking swarming.
These fucking losers?
Get the fuck out.
What are you even doing?
You're wasting your life.
Yeah, that's the shit I wanted.
Take a step out of your day and think about what you're doing right now.
It's probably pathetic.
What if it was really good?
It's the drunk man in skatewear.
I don't know, boys.
What?
I think I got to go back home.
Here, munch on these for a bit.
Do you feel sick?
No, I'm good.
All right, stick with regret. I kind of want drunk KB No, I'm good.
Sick with regret.
I kind of want drunk KB tomorrow.
I do too.
I miss this guy.
You actually could probably lose something and do drunk instead.
Like if there's something you don't want to do. If you don't want to tan or if you don't want to wear that whatever dumb shit you're wearing.
Since I snuck these socks, I will get the blackout and I'll give it to you.
Yeah?
I think Nick should have to go get wet.
I'm on the wheel still.
Yeah.
He's still on the wheel.
I'm going to survive.
Tomorrow there's two more.
I just want someone else to be wet.
Sounds funny.
Dio's wet.
Dio's right there.
Dio's been wet for two hours.
Dio's not going to the Lakers.
He doesn't have court science.
Dio's going to the Lakers.
You're not going to the Lakers either.
You should.
Are you going to the Lakers?
Yeah, you should.
I'm going to the Lakers. Me and Dave are to the Lakers? I'm going to the Lakers.
Me and Dave are going together.
You should give the tickets to Dio.
It's true.
It's only right.
You're not getting those tickets, brother.
You'd look so out of place.
This thing is called a fortune.
And I know you'd rather them go to waste.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to ask if they can put one of those cardboard cutouts of me there.
Oh, man.
King of New York in the building.
What else we got?
I don't know.
Feud?
Fast and Slow Banana.
Yeah, we could do one for Brent.
Oh, we could feud.
Oh, yeah, we could feud.
You want to feud?
Is the technology there?
I think it is.
Why wouldn't it be?
TJ is here for a reason.
Oh, he's giving him a minute. Yeah, let's
end with some feud. Why not? That's fine. Throw it back.
Who else is going to this game
tonight? We've been really talking.
Me, you, Che, Brandon, D-Lo.
Me.
TJ? You are now? Oh.
That sounded
like Owen. Me. Me.
Also me, though. Are you for... Yeah, I
thought you were on the fence. Yeah, I guess.
You're going or are you going to go?
Just take his tickets.
KB, your ass is going? No, I'm not.
KB, smoke some dope tonight, bro.
Smoke some Kratom.
Bro, get doped up tonight, dude.
I smoked some weed last night.
Yeah, how'd it go?
Wow. Yes.
Who'd you smoke with?
Buddha Ben was at the hotel. Buddha with? Buddha Ben was at the hotel.
Buddha Ben?
Buddha Ben.
Buddha Ben.
Buddha Ben.
Buddha Ben was at the hotel, and I smoked with him, and then it was fine.
What about Buddha Ben?
It was fine.
It is fine.
Nothing happened.
Smoking weed is fine.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Nothing is going to happen.
It was me and Tech Guy Andrew.
And Buddha Ben.
And Buddha Ben.
Yeah.
And we had a good time.
Buddha Ben.
That's the big three.
Oh, wait.
Should we show the video? KB, wait. Should we show the video?
KB, do you want to show the video of you trying to get one more drink at the hotel bar?
I don't even know.
What is that?
You got cut off at the hotel bar.
Yeah, we got to see that.
No show, no.
No?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Please play that.
It wasn't bad.
Please play that.
Because we said we're not going to show it until you got here.
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
It's just about you trying to pay off the bartender.
It was their first day, and you made their life a living hell.
It was his first day.
Not to give you crippling anxiety.
Oh, no, KB.
I'm going to tip you like a Qatari.
Yeah, I'm going to need one more Moscow Mule.
Why are you sitting like that?
The tip will be righteous.
I need another Mule.
I don't think he's going to serve you, Mom. righteous. I need another mule.
I don't think he's going to serve you, man.
One more mule, I'll tip you right.
No funny shit.
No funny shit.
Why do you have that?
You're a good guy, I can tell.
Get me fucking wasted.
Just tip and puff.
I'll tip you like a fucking oil tycoon.
You need to get me wasted.
This job is done, KP.
This man is great at his job.
I need you to get him. The fucking bridge is great at his job. I need to hear him.
The fucking bridge is painting.
You wanted to keep on working, bro.
One more, bro.
He said he tipped you like a Qatari oil barrel.
That's funny.
Kyle, you
tipped him like triple digits.
Really? I did.
You did? And he still
cut you off? It was his first
day. He's a good guy. Kyle, how much money have you spent
out here? All the salaries.
He hasn't had a meal.
I'm in debt. I am broke.
You haven't had one meal.
Yeah, but he paid for like a month of tanning.
You're also about to smoke a cigarette backwards.
Yeah, that is backwards.
Flip it around.
Flip it around.
Just have a smoke and calm down.
Just get this out of your system.
This is going to be a learning experience for you, Kyle.
You're going to bounce back fucking harder than ever.
I don't think this is a learning experience.
He got blackout drunk like he was supposed to.
Exactly.
It was the funniest on the show.
Exactly.
By far.
That's when he's going to learn that he's going to be drunk all the time on the show. Exactly. By far. That's what he's going to learn,
that he's going to be drunk all the time on the show,
and it's going to make the show way funnier.
And he finally put it to the fucking audience.
Yeah.
Like we all want it.
He's going to want to say this forever.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
We all hate the audience.
They fucking hate themselves.
Self-loathing ass audience.
Yeah, they need to step it up again tomorrow.
TJ said the feud's ready if you want to play one feud to end the show.
Yeah.
All right, all right.
So what's the score that we're like, what do we have to do if we don't get a certain score?
If we don't make fast money.
Yeah.
I'm not there yet.
Okay.
Take a shot across the board.
Y'all have to eat a banana.
Break sobriety.
Fast hockey. Fast banana. Fast banana rice. And'all have to eat a banana. Break sobriety. Fast hockey.
Fast banana.
And slowest one has to get wet.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm not good at eating bananas.
Slowest fast banana gets a butt banana.
Or butt talkies.
No, let's just play.
Let's just play.
We don't have to.
We're making this trip miserable across the board.
It's fun, though.
Yeah, what if we just Done content on the trip
Nah
Oh come on
We made like videos
About the Super Bowl
Don't be stupid
I'm just saying
What if that had happened
It would have been dumb
That's a crazy what if
I can't even think
I can't even fathom that
We're gonna get back
It's New York High Monday
And it's like
What happened
What the fuck happened
Where do we go from here
John Hamm
Staple the man No women No women No women No women No women Is that UT Austin All right, let's play. What the fuck happened? Where do we go from here? John Hamm stapled a man's balls at Timmy Stoddard.
He was at UT Austin.
All right, Brendan Walters.
Brendan Walters.
Brendan Walters.
Brendan, name a day of the week many people consider the busiest.
Monday.
Monday.
Monday.
Show us Monday.
How about Tuesday?
Show me Tuesday.
Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. No, whoa, whoa me Tuesday. Saturday.
Wednesday.
How about Wednesday?
No, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wednesday.
There's six answers up there.
Wednesday.
There's only seven days.
Thursday.
What kind of thing is this?
There's seven days.
This is the easiest thing ever.
Friday.
Yeah, Friday, Friday.
Sunday.
Saturday or Sunday?
You can't lose Saturday.
You've got to talk this over.
Saturday.
Saturday?
It doesn't matter. We have to get perfect. No, Sunday's the day of rest. Saturday. Sunday? Saturday. Saturday? It doesn't matter.
We have to get perfect.
No, Sunday is the day of rest.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Saturday.
What is it?
Perfect Clem.
Look at that.
That was ridiculously stupid.
Oh, Clem.
That was the dumbest shit ever.
What the fuck, Clem?
Who's that?
Clem.
Oh, what's up, Clem?
I love that Clem's here because he doesn't come to the office, but he came here.
You live in New York.
He does.
All right, all right.
This is an easy commute.
Name an occupation that ends with the word man.
He lives in your fireman.
Yes, fireman.
President.
Policeman.
Oh.
Mailman.
I got confused.
Mail.
Mail.
Mailman.
Piano man.
Piano. Piano man. Piano.
Piano man.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't.
Don't.
Policeman would work.
Policeman would work.
Policeman.
Policeman.
I said policeman.
Okay.
I wouldn't want to listen.
Delivery man.
Garbage man.
Garbage man.
Milk man.
Milk man.
Pizza man.
Milk man.
No, let's go garbage man. Let's go garbage man, TJ. It's a pizza boy,man. Pizza man. Milkman. No, let's go garbage man.
Let's go garbage man, TJ.
It's a pizza boy, not a pizza man.
What?
No, no.
Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk.
That's not milkman today.
No, stop saying man.
You're just writing the milk.
There's no milkman anymore.
What?
Weatherman.
Weather, weather, weather, weather, weather, weather, weather.
Stop saying man. Why would you say weather? All the other ones say man. Weather, weather, weather. Weather man. Weather, weather, weather. Stop saying man.
Why would you say weather?
All the other ones say man.
No, but you don't type in the man.
You didn't type in it.
We still beat that bald fuck.
Salesman.
What is it?
Journeyman.
Journeyman.
Here's you.
We need another question like that.
Doctor?
Days of the week.
Yeah, I love, yeah.
Name 11 months. That first question was name the days of the week. Yeah, I love, I love, yeah. Name 11 months.
That first question was
name the days of the week.
Yeah.
And you had three misses.
You could get three wrong.
All right, tell me the amount
of time you'd wait for a table
at a restaurant before you walk out.
30.
30 minutes.
30?
An hour.
30 minutes.
You don't have to say minutes.
Oh, I like somebody
who says hour.
20.
20 minutes.
20 minutes. 20 minutes. Why are these questions so stupid 20 minutes
hour 45 or 45 60 minutes oh one hour all right 10 minutes somebody said 45 i like 45
zero 45 and 15 it's 45 and 15 no show me perfect and 15. No. Say hour.
Hour. Show me perfect board.
We already did hour.
15.
15, 15, 15.
I love 15.
Zero?
Impatient man.
Hour and a half?
No, 90 minutes?
90 minutes.
90 minutes.
No.
No, this is dumb.
I think zero.
Five minutes.
Five, five, five, five, five.
No! Stupid fucking idiots. We're so dumb. What, five, five, five, five. No!
Stupid fucking idiots.
We're so dumb.
What's this going to be?
Two hours.
40 minutes.
That's bullshit.
That's an arbitrary number.
That's hard to get.
That number does not make sense.
That's hard to get.
All right, we bodied this dude.
Whatever.
Yeah, we flamed the heads.
We're in fast money.
Fast money.
Fast money.
All right, let's get it perfect.
Let's get it perfect.
Why not? Why not?
Why not?
Name something most burglars never steal during a home robbery.
Photos.
Purgatory.
Oh.
Ah.
Oh.
That was quick.
The oven.
The oven.
The oven.
No.
No.
No.
No family photos.
Photos.
Photos.
No.
Go.
You got to go quick.
Photos.
Name for someone who has to know everybody's business.
No.
Private investigator.
Private investigator.
A woman.
A woman.
Nippy.
Investigator. Give me something that's good when it's dry.
Food.
Clothes.
Not this show.
Wait, who should know?
Not this show.
Something that's good when it's dry.
Pizza.
Pizza.
Food.
Food.
Scone.
It was scone.
Give me another way people say death.
Father. Papa. Papa. Daddy. Father. Food. Scone. Scone. It was scone. Give me another way people say dad. Father.
Daddy.
Pop.
Pop.
Papa.
Daddy.
Father.
Father.
Name something you need if you were planning to have a casino night at your house.
Money.
Chips.
Chips.
Chips.
Chips.
Cars.
Cars.
Cars.
We crushed it.
Terrible.
No, we didn't.
No, we didn't.
Clothing.
Oven was going to be up there.
That's on TJ.
Nosey.
Investigator.
I said investigator.
You didn't have a better answer, Sash.
Food. Father. I said investigator. You didn't have a better answer, Sash. Food.
Father.
Oh, no.
No.
Fuck.
Fucking sucks.
I don't know what happens now.
Everybody unsubscribe from the YouTube.
Oh, we need to do a wheel for who's running.
Oh, yes, we do.
Fuck, you're right.
Yes.
Yes.
Are we going to end on that?
When's the run?
The run is Thursday?
Thursday?
Is it Thursday run? Thursday. I'm going to have to that? When's the run? The run is Thursday? Thursday? Is it Thursday run?
I'm going to have to run on the treadmill.
No, we're all going to run on a fucking track.
I can't run in the sun.
Brandon, you can't run on the treadmill either.
I'll run next to you with an umbrella.
You said last time, you said...
Should we try to do a 5K as fast as we can relay?
No.
Yes.
That would be interesting.
Like, how fast could we do it?
What time do we set for ourselves
so we all sprint? Or could everybody but Che
beat Che? Oh!
Yes!
I like that. Yes.
Yes.
So what would we do? What are the stakes?
If Che beats us, we all have to get an apostrophe
tattooed on our arm. Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Che would have to... Yes. What do you have to do an apostrophe tattooed on our arm. Yes. Yes. Yes. Che would have to.
Yes.
Would he have to do like a baseline run?
If we beat Che, he has to get the red squiggly underneath its.
I think it's blue when it's a grammatic wear.
Okay, so blue.
All right.
Che, do you agree?
And then win, lose, or draw, Kyle blacks out every day the rest of the day.
Yes.
Win, lose, or draw.
Che, do you agree to this challenge?
He hasn't been listening at all.
Where are they?
Are they in a round hole?
It's like when we found Saddam in that hole.
Yes.
Does he agree?
I can't hear.
There's a boat coming out of town.
What did he say?
What did he say?
He said we'll talk.
He's not getting his tattoo adjusted.
What?
He doesn't have to get it adjusted.
He just has to get another tattoo.
It's a second tattoo.
Sorry, bro, bro.
He's in love with his tattoo already.
Yeah, I am your boss.
I'm your boss, Steven.
Bad news, little bro.
All right, well, that's actually a great video.
Yeah.
It's great.
So all of us, we all have to run at least one lap,
and we all combine and have to do check.
I don't know.
We're all running.
The track they found is an 18 miles track.
Who can run here? KB, you can run.
KB can run.
Brandon and I are the problem.
I should have to run a little bit more too
because I was supposed to run a 5.3, which I still will do.
No, whatever's going to get us the win.
Whatever's going to get us the win.
No, but I think I have to.
Maybe I have to run a mile, but I can space it out.
You can space it out.
I think that makes it fair because, like, it was my challenge.
So, like, running, sprinting a mile is the same as walking.
I was going to walk some of the 5.3.
Let's find out who's running with you.
So that's four laps that you would have to run.
Yeah, which we could space it out.
Yes.
Yeah.
And you could end up sprinting those.
If it's spaced out enough.
Sprinting on a quarter mile track is.
Did you see the belly flop?
It's not going to be a slippery track.
Did you see my body?
Did you see my body?
That's the only thing I could see.
Did you see what, like, you're asking a refrigerator to run a mile.
An actual refrigerator.
They shot that belly flop with a fish eye.
You're trim.
Okay, so that will be great.
Steven, you have to do this.
Who's running?
All of us.
So now, what's the point of the wheel now?
Because there's only three people running.
We have to get to 60,000 if we're going to do this challenge.
There it is.
We're at like 55.
No, everyone's got to do it. We're all going to run. The point of the wheel was weird. But we're're going to do this challenge. There it is. We're at like 55. No, everyone's got to do it.
We're all going to run.
The point of the wheel was we were going to get more subscribers.
But we're not going to do it unless we get 60.
We're trying to get more subscribers.
60,000 and we'll do the challenge.
And Steven will have to get a blue squiggly under his itch.
And if we lose, we all have to get an apostrophe.
Just an apostrophe right here.
We also have to carry Brandon off the stage at the end.
We should keep the show running as we – we should keep the video running as we carry him off the stage at the end. We should keep the show running
as we... We should keep the video running
as we carry him off the stage.
I think that's fair.
So, Steven, are you good with this?
He said absolutely not.
What?
He's the best athlete on the show.
What part is he not okay with?
Come out and litigate it then, Che.
Come out and litigate it.
We'll litigate it right now. We're trying
to all get on to BFFs.
The tattoo's a memory of the show. A true memory of the show
would have the swiggle. The wager on
the line. Also, just beat
us. Yes. I'm saying
I'll run a mile. I am slow. It's that
easy.
Oh!
L-A-C-H-A.
L-C-H-A. That translates to the cha
Stephen
It is so loud picking it up
I absolutely do not want to do this
I mean come on
So I have to race you guys
All of you combined
And if I win I have to get another tattoo
No you lose
Okay If I lose I have to get another tattoo? No, you lose.
Okay, if I lose, I have to get another tattoo? I just got a tattoo.
No, you just have to get the squiggly underneath.
If you win, every one of us has to get a tattoo.
Yeah, if you win, all of us have to get an
apostrophe.
I have to get an apostrophe. I don't want to get an apostrophe.
I don't want to get another tattoo.
Alright, that's fair.
I'll say that you can get an apostrophe.
You can get the apostrophe somewhere You can get an apostrophe.
Somewhere else? No, somewhere on
Somewhere else on your body? A big ass apostrophe?
Yeah, you have to get the apostrophe somewhere else.
No, no.
I don't want to get another tattoo.
I think this looks good. It does look good.
No, it doesn't. It's not chromatically correct.
Chromatically, it's wrong.
I looked, how fast
do you run, right?
I do, I like cycle. Right. fast do you run, right? I do.
I, like, cycle.
Right.
Yeah, I mean, I think I could.
How long will a 5K take you?
Three miles?
He's a wild card.
Owen could be in good shape, but he also smokes a ton.
Right.
As of late.
You're going up against me and Brandon, too.
Like, we're slow.
I ran a 24-minute 5K two years ago.
That's not fast.
All right, think about it.
Yeah, it is.
We need 60,000 people to subscribe.
Eight-minute miles?
That's pretty good.
Eight-minute miles?
We'd love to see you boys run a 24-minute.
If we can do that by a Thursday show, then I will do that.
Okay, so what are you going to get?
You're saying you're going to get a squiggly or?
No, I won't do the squiggly.
I'll put an apostrophe on the line against all you guys,
and if I beat you, then you guys all have to get an apostrophe.
Good idea.
I'm not getting a tattoo.
Brandon, it'll look like a freckle.
It's an apostrophe.
I'm not getting a tattoo.
What are you talking about?
It'll look just like a freckle.
You trying to get buried in one of those Jewish cemeteries?
Your body's a temple.
Yeah, you should be covered in tattoos.
Brandon, it's an apostrophe.
It's an apostrophe.
We're not going to lose.
It's literally an apostrophe.
We're definitely going to lose.
No, we're not.
No, we're not.
Me and him?
Yeah, the part that I said that I was going to run a mile is probably a mistake.
Maybe a half mile?
I run a half mile?
You run a lap.
KB, how long can you run?
Wait.
Hold on.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Forever. Okay. Hold on. One, two, three, four, five, six. Forever.
No, seven guys.
How about we all have to run an equal
amount? That's two and a quarter?
Oh, yes. Absolutely.
Oh, yeah. You can.
That's the only fair way. If it's just like
KB and Sass and like Rowan running
and like maybe these two, then you guys would smoke.
Okay, we're sitting right here. Alright, so we'll all run an equal amount.
Yes. So that's what. I think we can do this. I sitting right here. All right, so we'll all run an equal amount. Yes.
So that's what.
I think we can do this. I know we can.
No, I don't think it's an equal amount.
I think that as long as you read your mind.
Dude, we're all going to be a fair way to do it.
I'm actually thinking about it.
If I run the equal amount, I can fucking fly.
KB is going to be the fastest one here.
I can fly for one mile.
I think KB will balance Brandon out.
Right.
Yeah.
All right.
I think we can order.
All right, so just subscribe to the Yak YouTube. That's the only way we're going to do this. The Yak YouTube, you've got to subscribe. I think we can order. All right. We have – so just subscribe to the Yak YouTube.
That's the only way we're going to do this.
The Yak YouTube.
You've got to subscribe.
Brandon, you can't.
I'm putting a link in the chat right now.
Yes, 60,000.
Everyone go subscribe and we will do a tattoo.
Like something will happen.
What are we at right now, TJ?
We're at like 55.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's doable.
Yeah.
Brandon will do Juices Wild for a fortnight for a fortnight and no tattoo for you. Juices Wild for a fortnight. Sold? 14, yes. 14 days of Juices Wild for a fortnight for a fortnight. And no tattoo for you.
Juices Wild for a fortnight.
Sold?
14, yes.
14 days of Juices Wild.
14 days, isn't it?
You're an idiot.
14 days.
A Hanukkah of juice.
A Hanukkah of juice.
Bro, it's literally like a freckle.
It's just two weeks of juice.
Take of the juice.
All right, let's carry Brandon off.
That's the show.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Get your stars, get style, and pay for what it's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's time to talk shop.
We're doing Yankee pop.
It's the act.
It's the act. Thank you. you