The Yak - Kate States She Would Not Hook Up With Lebron | The Yak 7-22-22

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

10XYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's going on, everybody? What are we doing? It's me, Big Cat. Got your goose. It's all those same characters you fell in love with. We got Clemmer, KB, John Rich. What's up, guys?
Starting point is 00:00:40 Jason in the booth. And this is good vibes. We're not feeling desperate in any way. We have a lot to say and a lot to do on this show. Hold on to your butts. It's going to be a good one. Also, first thing, let's do fashion real quick here. KB.
Starting point is 00:00:57 We're dressing today. I feel like. Nice jersey. What is that? Who is that? Dwight Gooden. The Dwight Gooden. Doc.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Doc, 1987. He's dead? He's not dead. He's alive. Clemmer, you is it? Dwight Gooden. The Dwight Gooden. Doc. Doc, 1987. He's dead? He's not dead. He's alive. Clemmer, you're Jewish? I am not Jewish. But the drip is real? I'm sorry?
Starting point is 00:01:12 The drip is real? The drip? The drip is real. I don't know. I don't know what that means. Drip is real. It's a store. Oh, I get it.
Starting point is 00:01:20 It's a store? Drip is real? A Jewish store? Someone already used that? Drip is real? No. Oh. There goes our idea.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Maybe. All right, hot start. Your shorts, are they supposed to be, I thought wood. You thought what? Like wood. It looks like wood. You would fuck me? No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:01:40 No. No, yeah. Like a hardwood floor. It's certainly something. It looks like bone. Yeah, it doesn't look like an article of clothing. It's just a pen on his shorts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Okay. Sass hat. Walk us through that decision. Something you haven't done here. I've never seen this. I don't have anything to put in my hair, so I had to wear a hat today. Were you looking for a gel, a pomade? A pomade.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Okay. Now why comb? What? How how come why is it come because i need that to put in my hair that's what i have pomade instead of rough more not a gel no gel doesn't work we gotta really stretch it tonight i'm get into this i'm terrified of coming here without a hat on i don't think i'm ever gonna do it why why the hair sometimes looks good. Why does it come? Why does it come? Because I want to walk through the streets.
Starting point is 00:02:30 The wind's going to blow. My hair's going to get all messed up. I'm going to end up being pulled on the yak. It's going to look bad. It never stays good all day. So if I just wear a hat, then I'm going to be okay. If you go back to the inaugural episode on YouTube, I was soaking wet. Yeah yeah can we actually pull up the
Starting point is 00:02:47 first ever episode it was really a wake-up call to watch you were soaked yeah and brandon was dressed as get her in here is ro not coming in she needs tips she's been bleeding i saw her over at uh lunch with her dad across the street at bagel pub oh didn't interrupt it very wholesome okay what's up for their dad across the street at Bagel Pub. Didn't interrupt it very wholesome. Okay, babe. What's up? Whoa. Oh, yeah. Oh, my.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Wait, can I ask why? Why are you so wet? Well, it was February 2nd. It was snow. It was a brisk 18 degrees. Yeah, well, some of it is the snow that melted that was on my head. Oh, that's true.
Starting point is 00:03:26 And that's why your cheeks are so rosy. You look like a little cherub. You have like little, you look a little rounder. I was very sick. Borderline dying. Okay. You look like it. In my life.
Starting point is 00:03:35 You don't look good there. And I was also in denial. I was like, yeah, that was all snow. I'm healthy and that's fine. Okay. Having a daily show is super daunting have you ever looked back at the episodes like i don't like how much we all change appearance wise everybody looks so different month to month that makes me feel weird it's like a fluctuation um
Starting point is 00:03:59 the job takes a toll on you i'm sad it's been a it's been a worse change, correct? That's what you're saying? I look terrible now. I feel it. KB's got better. KB looks a lot better. But no, from when I started in 2018 to 2020, it was disgusting what happened. You got that much worse? That much worse.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Wow. Now you're back to better than before? Now I'm just lifting, but I'm still unhealthy. Damn, Sas, what's that piece? And also, hyperfix it. People like on the podcast, I was breathing ridiculously.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Everyone was clowning me for it. Everyone was saying it. And then since then, I've been hyperfixated on my own breathing and it's not good. I'm convincing myself. I heard you take a breath
Starting point is 00:04:40 a second ago. Pulmonary issue. Yeah, you probably do. Yeah, no, that was, I brought up the volume a ton to hear Nick. And you lost quality in your breath. Because I've been freaking out. I thought, I think I have a problem.
Starting point is 00:04:53 No, no, no. Edit issue. I spent like 24 hours trying to fix Nick's voice. And in the process, I just fucked yours up. You would have been better off just doing it over. Podcasting, man. It's a contact sport. Remember what's in the works. Yeah, it is sometimes.
Starting point is 00:05:08 What's in the works. Constant battle. I put out a blog today. Co-host, yeah. Top 100 movies of the 90s. Number 99, The Wedding Singer. So what was 100 again? Clerks.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Clerks, great movie. Wedding Singer. This is of the 90s. 1990s. Okay. Wedding Singer, another great movie. I agree. So there's at least 98 other good movies. Okay. Right. Wedding Singer, another great movie. I agree. So there's at least 98 other good movies.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Better movies than Wedding Singer. Any fun facts or tidbits that people wouldn't know about either that they can find on the blog? Roger Ebert hated it. Roger Ebert gave it a one-star review, really trashed it. And he trashed Adam Sandler movies for quite a while during the 90s. It didn't pay Sandler I think the proper respect he was kind of an old man
Starting point is 00:05:48 Ebert's the greatest critic of all time but definitely was like old man I always wondered what makes a critic so good or what makes
Starting point is 00:05:53 the best critic better than the next best I think being able to explain a movie to a wide audience some people obviously are more like Adam Sandler fans
Starting point is 00:06:02 some people are more Star Wars fans some people are more like the critical favorites Ebert I feel can speak to all of those people really well and explain a movie and break it down really intelligently. He loves titties. Have you seen that?
Starting point is 00:06:11 He does. He writes about them. He wrote a Roger Corman movie, right? He's writing his own movie? What do you mean? He's dead now. What do you mean? I know he's dead.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Like wrote like literatica? No, so I'm talking about the right guy, right? So he's, like he said, a world-renowned critic, but he writes openly that cinema's missing the motherly warmth of supple breasts that it did in the 90s and 2000s. He said we don't sexualize breasts enough in film anymore. He wrote a very sexual film in the 70s.
Starting point is 00:06:45 I think it's like, was it Beyond the Valley of the Dolls? Or I might be getting that wrong, but it came out. But it's like, yeah, it's very exploitive. I feel like every movie cover, like when you used to go to Blockbuster
Starting point is 00:06:54 and you went to the PG-13 and above section, like every movie cover was just a headless woman with tits. It's like, and then like... Yeah, and the movie was right on her clavicle. Loosen us up. This is what we needed, I feel like. Wildly insensitive to me.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Oh, it is sober. Wait, a watermelon what? Thank you. This looks very refreshing. Thank you very much. Didn't mix anything weird in here, did you? If you follow Content Kim, she has been doing weekly, really easy, simple, delightful, good-to-make drinks. This is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:07:34 She made me a spicy margarita last week that was fantastic. Oh, sorry. Cheers. Cheers. Guys, this smells awesome. Thank you. Cheers. You're welcome to have a seat with us and finish it.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Owen's allowed to drink his in full? Owen. He can finish it? In full? Yeah. Do you want him to? Yes, I do. How bad?
Starting point is 00:07:53 Bad person. Okay. It smells good. She says bad. It smells really good. Watermelon, cilantro as well? Is that baked or mint? Let's all drink it.
Starting point is 00:08:02 How do we feel? I love mine. I like it. It's great. I don't like Sherrod's Clemmer. What do you think? You're a sighted guy. Incredibly refreshing.
Starting point is 00:08:07 This is great. So refreshing. That says Owen. The mint is a game changer. Hardly touched. Yeah. Is there a problem? That's true.
Starting point is 00:08:15 We all love it. Owen hasn't drank it. Yeah. It's kind of rude. No, no, no. If you could see. Do you not like it, Owen? No, he drinks a lot.
Starting point is 00:08:24 No, it smells so good. That's the problem. It smells like I could have a million of these. You would love to have a bunch of those. In a perfect world, he'd have more. You would deliver him a whole tray. Thank you so much. You don't want to see...
Starting point is 00:08:44 Big Cat was on her podcast this week yes supposedly an awesome listen yes sounds great you're you're wearing my crew neck i am yeah okay just getting that out of there how was your show i was you know did you just get back this morning from philly yeah i was here yes we we talked about this yesterday i thought you had another one in Philly. Oh, no, no, no. Okay. I was under the impression the shows were Wednesday, Thursday as well.
Starting point is 00:09:11 No, it was just Tuesday, Wednesday. How was it? We already talked about it. It was good. Did we actually? I don't remember this at all. We talked about it yesterday in the beginning of the show. Oh, I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:09:19 He did, yeah. He said one of the shows didn't sell out, but the other ones were great. Oh, yeah. He did say you couldn't sell out one of them. Oh, yeah. One of them did not sell out. Three of them did. That's what you said.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Sass, I think I'm going tonight. To see him in Philly? No, not Philly. You're late, bro. It seemed really hard for you to finally get that off your chest. He's told me before. I need to address something. I've got to tell you something.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Oh, you're going up. Open mic. No, I will not be going up. I just need to address something just tell you something oh you're going up open mic no i will not be going up i just need to address something in general it's almost off topic but every time i come and sit in this chair i cannot stop fucking shaking i know i was i was terrified i don't know if that's a chair thing maybe yeah it's just like yeah i can't even hold my drink yes the chairs maybe if i addressed it then it would get better That was the right move You know what will help?
Starting point is 00:10:06 Really zoom in on him And get it out of his system Hold up your hands What are the edibles you take KB? I'm fucking done with those But what were they? Medicated tap out Maybe they could have a reverse effect if he's already vibrating
Starting point is 00:10:21 Oh yeah No You think it would just double the vibration? Are you feeling better yet? I'm feeling a little worse. Maybe a little bit closer. Yeah, there you go. Look at those eyes.
Starting point is 00:10:34 All right, I'm good. Handsome. There you go. I put on makeup today. Problem solved. Me too. I do also just want to give a quick shout out. I kind of went under the radar yesterday,
Starting point is 00:10:42 but this teacher asked Big Cat. You know how teachers do the Amazon wish wish list this teacher was like big fan of the act or whatever big cat do you think you could retweet like whatever and he was like i he didn't retweet it but he's like i got your printer i got your classroom a printer he like got something right away and as soon as people saw because you know you see when someone interacts with something and as soon as stoolie saw that he had gotten her the printer I went to go get something off the list and everything was already immediately sold out for her whole
Starting point is 00:11:10 entire classroom outside Cleveland or something so I just thought that was really cool teachers are heroes it was just something Big Cat was doing like under the radar kind of doing to be he's a sneaky good guy you wouldn't expect it he's such a cock all the time.
Starting point is 00:11:25 He's a cock a lot. He's such a dick. Yeah. Everybody hates him. But I thought that was very nice. We'll think he was the bad guy. Jay texted me apologizing for the lack of prep sheets. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:36 I thought I did the responsible thing and send the prep sheet last night at like 3 a.m. But I was fucking hammered and didn't attach it. Did he say fucking hammer? Yes. Oh, yeah. We need to. So sending the ad and talking points uh this is the ad we'll get to that later um thought starters recapping the auction well first i can you want to do his night we should recap for a second yeah yeah so he is at the third yeah look at those eyes john rich you have nothing to worry about look beautiful look at this guy um And then he does a beer tweet where he challenges White Sox Dave to chug a beer.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Kate, you murdered him. Oh, I miss this. You murdered him. I really do. And then he goes into a women's bathroom. With all due respect, he looks like the smiling emoji. He does. He really does. It looks uncanny. He does.
Starting point is 00:12:23 It shouldn't bother me. It's crazy because he went to the Third Eye Black Conference by himself. Did he really? Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, he didn't. I would respect that. Oh, you went with the guy who runs the Che Hive Twitter. Can you pull up his tweet, though, where he goes in the women's bathroom?
Starting point is 00:12:38 That's the one I want to see. This one was shocking. Yes. And I have a question, too, about one part of that tweet where he talks about pissing on. He's in the women's stall and there's these plastic liners. So he pisses all over a plastic liner. What is that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:54 I just went in the women's bathroom by mistake. Couldn't find any urinals. Didn't give it much thought. Went in a stall. There were plastic liners. I peed all over one. What? What is he talking about?
Starting point is 00:13:03 It's like a third grader book report. You know like in public bathrooms, you can put around the toilet. That's usually never left over. It's also not a gender thing. Both bathrooms have that. It's not a completely foreign concept to him. Telling several women they were in the wrong bathroom is pretty fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:13:20 You guys are in the wrong spot. Get out of here. He saw one, told her this is the wrong bathroom. Saw another and still didn't think he was the issue. That just epitomizes who he is. It's women for you, idiots. Those weren't the first three. The first couple thought he was a trans woman.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Yeah. And then there he was. But it seems like he had a good night overall, obviously. Have you guys ever gone in the wrong bathroom? I have once at the Fleet Center. Often. I flip. I finish all the Center. Often. I go to fitness all the time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Rarely ever. At sporting events, I just run into them. I remember when my mom used to take me to the women's bathroom, though. Yeah. What's that? I remember when my mom used to make me go into the women's bathroom. Oh, yeah. Vividly.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I was a little too old. I was way too old to be doing it. That's the cutoff for that. I was in like eighth grade. Yeah. Oh, my God. That is a little too old. That's old, Chris.
Starting point is 00:14:06 I was like in sixth. Sixth grade. Wow. I was joking. I was like seven. That's about right, right? But you still are old enough to remember it though. Sixth grade is way too old.
Starting point is 00:14:17 But it's nice. Once you're in your 30s, you can get back into it. Yeah. Go to the bathroom with her. If you have a daughter, it's kind of like a cheat code. You got to go into the women's bathroom. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:28 And you could pick the gender these days. You're like, I'm not gonna bring her into the men's bathroom. That'd be weird. Dongs? How about them? Anyway. Have you considered more tit art? After making like...
Starting point is 00:14:44 500 something dollars. Do you know who bought it? I do. I think we all do. Cliff. His name is Cliff. Yeah, Cliff DeMartino. Well, I feel bad saying this and I don't know if this will affect him, but hopefully it
Starting point is 00:14:55 builds the tension between us. But people were like, oh, did you see who bought it? And I couldn't because I had had him muted on my Twitter for quite some time. Oh, you didn't have to say that. I know. You didn't have to tell everyone that. Oh, man, because you just spent a bunch of money on it. I know.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Oh, Kate. I know. I wish I had said that. I don't know why. You didn't have to just say that. I know. I know we're pushing on. I'm in topics, but.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Damn, it's 117. The man just bought your breasts. I know. I'm so sorry. sorry cliff i'll send you the video you couldn't even bear seeing any of his thoughts i don't know why he was so intolerable to you because you didn't have him blocked his ideas were horrible in your mind like no in this with what we do like i just sometimes i'm just like because it's just oh i meet people all the time really okay right because it's it's fine i don't i don't want to see so much of the one Sometimes I'm just like, mute, mute, mute. I mute people all the time. Really? Okay, right?
Starting point is 00:15:46 You mute someone too. I don't want to see so much of the one topic. Yeah, it was not personal because I couldn't even tell you what it was about or why I did it. But yeah, I'm sure he's lovely and I'm so glad. Thank you. Are you going to frame it or are you going to leave it unframed? I said I would frame it, so I'm going to have to frame it.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Well, he's going to take that frame off and lick it. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking about the fucking fire extinguishers or shit behind the glass. Yeah. It's like crack for use. Yeah, break in case of emergency. Have you unmuted him? No, I should.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I'll unmute you today. That's not very believable. I'd really like to see some of his tweets. I don't know why. His tweets are great He's a top tier stoolie I think he's gone to multiple openings In new sportsbook cities
Starting point is 00:16:33 Oh wow One of the tallest fans we have He was in the office? He was here helping Pete with some tech Oh I'm so sorry Maybe it was a mistake I totally didn't mean to mute him It was a mistake It I totally didn't mean to mute him. It was a mistake.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Maybe I didn't. It's probably because his tweets suck. Grab more pen. Oh, lovely guy. I don't know why I would mute such a lovely person. No, he's a good guy. Yeah, my bad. Clem, are you into drugs?
Starting point is 00:16:59 No, I'll have gummies. Yeah. Yeah. I guess yes. It's a dangerous game. Yeah. But I was late to that party. You too. Yeah, I didn't gummies. Yeah. Yeah. I guess yes. It's a dangerous game. Yeah. But I was late to that party. You too.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah. I didn't do any, I never smoked anything in high school or college or anything. I was like almost 40 when I had my first gummy. That's still wild to me whenever you say that. Yeah, kill me. No, 40. Oh.
Starting point is 00:17:18 He's over 40. I think I feel. Yeah. No, it's good. It just happens. You know, you get older and you're like, oh shit, I'm not going to hold. This sucks. But it's fine. You look like 38. No, it's good. It just happens. You get older and you're like, oh, shit. I'm getting old. This sucks. But it's all right.
Starting point is 00:17:26 It's fine. You look like 38. Thank you. Thank you. What is your weekend, your average weekend? Right now, it's going back to New Hampshire. What was that, Kate? I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Yeah, I've never seen that. Oh, man. He called his shot. He called his shot. He was willing to spend anything. You didn't even see that. I'm fine. Just follow him back. So supportive.
Starting point is 00:17:48 You never could have seen it. That's a dangerous road to go down. He's unmuted. He's unmuted, yeah. The whole ordeal could have been kept silent. I don't know why I word vomited. I'm sure he understands. Totally.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Nick probably would have blocked him. I think there might be. Yeah, Nick hates fans. He hates the Spurs. He hates fans hates them hates them when i met him in columbus he was he was a dick that's what's crazy we got that hug off like for the picture but and then he was probably get the fuck away from fucking asshole nick oh first met him in columbus yeah yeah that's classic nick it was the way he rolls shitty small couch too do you agree
Starting point is 00:18:25 the rudest member to us from when we do Barstool Idol the rudest member of the Yak was Nick do you agree yeah
Starting point is 00:18:32 I'd say so yeah if I'm being honest yeah definitely Nick you guys in like a group chat together the Idol contest yeah they definitely are
Starting point is 00:18:41 I always see the Instagram stories they are I always see the Instagram they are there's always i would see the stories like missing my fucking family for 48 hours definitely have a group chat it has not been is there any analogies in the title yeah i don't think there's a title why don't you go ahead and check it our stool it's like barstool i i l y funnest part oh yeah we haven't got one but i bet you give it a couple months, we're going to get a,
Starting point is 00:19:08 I'm coming back to New York, I miss you guys, one of those texts. Those are coming soon. I didn't make it long enough to be in this group chat. I was definitely in one. No, not kind of, not really. I think that was the biggest difference between this Barstool and the old ones. If you watch the old ones, those people were literally willing to murder each other for a job at Barstool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:26 There was no love. There was very love. We were all love. We were all hate. We were so nice. Quote of the week was parting words from Faust Dooley was, This isn't the last time Manhattan's heard of the name Marcy Creevey. She was my favorite person on.
Starting point is 00:19:39 The nicest. The nicest. Such a nice. Yeah. Did I solely say that? Solely actually say that. Yeah. He posted it publicly. Such a nice. Yeah. Did I solely say that? Solely actually say that? Yeah. He posted it publicly.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Unsettling. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Yeah. The best is when you change the group chat name to an inside joke you all experienced the prior night. Katie picked, she's the one that picked it, picked all people that, like, I don't know, really supportive, kind people. It was a good group.
Starting point is 00:20:06 I don't know. I can't find it. Katie was really good about finding kind and supportive people. She's got the nicest people on the internet. She went through 80,000 submissions and found the kindest people on the internet. Compete. You are coming to see the last Marcy Creevey. What was the reply?
Starting point is 00:20:26 They hired like half of them. Like half these people work here now. He's just being nice. It kind of... Oh, God. That's nice. You're liking it? Oh, I see. Dude, New York City,
Starting point is 00:20:41 the largest metropolitan area in North America is sick of me. New York City, please go easy on me tonight. Shut up, mercy. Shut up. I was on vacation that week, so I missed a lot. That's right.
Starting point is 00:21:01 It was a long week. I was seeing all the text going through and how much work you guys guys were putting into it i was like well that sucks yeah it seems like a fascinating case study though like the more work and prep we did like the more like discombobulated that's how most of the act is yeah it sounds right on cue anytime we plan something out it usually is like bad episode yeah it's except for like zaz wild it's so hit or miss we've had some rough ones that we've put i was historically a big like i prepare and write for this i think script what i'm gonna say yeah sometimes it works but a lot of times no um uh you want me to read the rest of chase's? Can we watch Kate's Chug?
Starting point is 00:21:46 Oh yeah, that'd be great Che texted me again I can make him money For what? What? Oh yeah, that's right Bead Blaster is the ones that we went to town on In here
Starting point is 00:22:00 Do we still have it in the office? Come and fucking take it I definitely don't That should be our next Yak shirt Come and take it and fucking take it. I definitely don't. Wait, what? That should be our next Yak shirt. Come and take it and it's a little gel blaster. Why are they getting arrested?
Starting point is 00:22:09 Cold dead hands. Oh, and then an air rifle? Gel blasters are guns. They're considered an air rifle. Are air rifles even illegal? Can't you buy those at Walmart? Air rifles are a violation in NYC and are unlawful to possess.
Starting point is 00:22:21 So if I had the gun right now and I shot John in the chest, they could arrest me? If they were watching it live? Even if you had it, it's possession. I'll shoot John. Save me a bus ride home from New Hampshire this weekend. To be clear, you can buy a real automatic weapon?
Starting point is 00:22:35 Yeah. Not a gel blaster. Not a BJ. Unlawful to possess. To possess. It's hilarious. I mean, I think I'm looking at one right now. Yeah, that's one
Starting point is 00:22:45 across the room so does that mean like a like can you not own like a nerf gun anymore either i don't know what you should pose you see those like family christmas cards where it's like 20 guns on the carpet yeah to do that with gel blasters yeah i'm sorry this is i don't know if this is entertaining or not but i need to know about your average weekend day. Well, right now, I said at 4.30, I'm going to jump in a bus back to New Hampshire, and I'll hang out with my wife for the weekend. We have two dogs, and we have a fire pit in the backyard. Maybe I'll go to the beach and rye, hang out,
Starting point is 00:23:17 or New York, Maine, maybe see some family. And I've got to drop the dogs off On Sunday Because my wife's gonna be joining me in New York next week What time do you crack your first cider? Well I try not to drink during the day But I break that rule a lot So yeah usually I don't know Six, seven at night
Starting point is 00:23:41 Oh that's late Is it? I just thought you Someone said you were a cider alcoholic. I enjoy, no. They said cider junkie. I also stay up. Yeah, so I'm thinking, like, you wake up at 6 a.m. No, I stay up pretty late.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Clemmer, didn't you say that you took a 6 a.m. train? Yeah. You had a hard time staying away from the bar cart? Well, because, yeah, because that's my go-to. If I'm on a train, train, I want to keep busy. But I didn't drink at all on the 6 a.m. train on Monday. That's good. If there's alcohol in a situation or environment that is not usually...
Starting point is 00:24:15 Yeah, no train. Oh, gimme, gimme. So fucking boring on that train. In the morning, plus I was on my way to work, I'm like, I can't get fucking drunk on the train. This sucks. But then I'm like, I'm bored. What am I going to do? i stayed out the window and i just like kind of judged i was looking at going by and then you know when's the last time you were
Starting point is 00:24:30 like fucked up on cider uh a couple months ago i guess like fucked up like really just in your yard playing with the fire pit oh yeah oh yeah yeah well one time i almost fell in i did like the michael scooping from survivor i almost fell into the fire pit yeah because i was so fucked up okay yeah oh yeah no my backyard yeah i can get because you know it's fenced in backyard it's I did like the Michael Scoopin' from Survivor. I almost fell into the fire pit. Yeah, because I was so fucked up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, my backyard. Yeah, I can get... Because, you know, it's fenced in backyard. It's, you know, it's quiet.
Starting point is 00:24:49 The fence there for the dogs. Well, probably both. But initially, the intent was the dogs. It's probably my wife hiding the embarrassing, shitty, stupid things I'm yelling and screaming and running around doing. Does your wife enjoy a cider, too? She enjoys a cider now and then. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Yeah. I would say I drink For everyone she drinks I probably drink like 5 or 6 That's what it should be Quite a life I've made for myself How about you John? What are you going to do this weekend? That's a good question
Starting point is 00:25:18 I think I'm going to go see Sass tonight My girlfriend's here She's here for good No she's here for like another week. It's her one year anniversary today. Exciting. Going out to dinner. We're in that area.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I might go see Sass. We'll see what happens. If you want to break up with her, do it now. Now? Live? No, not like... TJ, let's zoom in on John Rich's face. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Yeah. And to her, too. If she's going to do it eventually, do it now. I mean, moving to york with me is more of a commitment than like getting engaged at this point i think it is yeah way bigger i think it's arbitrary yeah exactly yeah police order at this point fuck how did you propose uh i did it in my apartment with my dog it was a quiet proposal um yeah it's pretty chill um but i did like a scavenger hunt.
Starting point is 00:26:05 She likes puzzles and like... Oh, yeah. That's what I wanted to hear. Did like a scavenger hunt, like a bunch of different clues all over my apartment and she eventually found the ring. A picture can't capture
Starting point is 00:26:13 the effort put in and the care to... That's right. Like a still image. No, no. Even if it looks kind of whack because you're in your apartment. Yeah. But they don't know what you...
Starting point is 00:26:24 Right. There was a lot of index cards I wrote in them apartment. Yeah. But they don't know what you... Right. There was a lot of index cards. I wrote on them and I had clues and it was quite a... That's better than just a pretty backdrop. Absolutely. I mean, it was several hours of... I got proposed to once. You were married and divorced.
Starting point is 00:26:37 I'm divorced now. It didn't work out. I'm also... I prefer the new guy. The new guy. Yeah. I like him a lot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:44 I don't know if we'll get married. You should propose to him. Worked out for us. I should propose to him. I should do new guy. The new guy. Yeah. I like him a lot. Yeah. I don't know if we'll get married. You should propose to him. Worked out for us. I should propose to him. I should do a backwards, something for content. Yeah. Ooh, a little Sadie Hawkins action.
Starting point is 00:26:52 You were divorced? Being divorced, by the way. Oh. Yeah. Little known fact, so am I. Oh. That is something that wouldn't shock me. No, it wouldn't surprise me at all.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Despite how well I know you, I would still be like, yeah, I can see you. I feel like Owen's an old soul where I'm older than you, but I wouldn't shock me. No, it wouldn't surprise me at all. Despite how well I know you, I would still be like, yeah, I can see you. I feel like Owen's an old soul where I'm older than you, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out you had way more life experiences than me. Owen has a kid. Yeah, I would believe you. I thought Rowan had a kid until like two years ago. Yeah, I thought that was real. I never talked about it, so I just refused to.
Starting point is 00:27:22 It was like, I guess, an urban legend that fans created. Caleb may have started it. I just thought, yeah. I'm never going to bring it up. I think I thought Ron had a kid up until a few months ago. Still don't know. He might. He randomly says things that would make it seem like he has a child. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:40 What a liar. What just an absolute liar, that guy. Should we get Greer in here? He's walking around outside. Want me to go flag him down? Or Alex Bennett. I want to know about her training. Yeah, she was bleeding.
Starting point is 00:27:56 She finally got popped hard enough to bleed. Want me to go get him? And you got the big flakes going on this weekend? Everybody remembers the first time they're popped hard enough to blow. Not me. Can you get Bennett? Oh, yeah. I will sign that as TMI.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Now you got to do it. Come on. I'm pretty sure my first time I said out loud, I was like, is it it? Like, is it it? Is it it? Like, I did not. Oh, no. I could not tell.
Starting point is 00:28:32 I know. I don't know. I just said that out loud. Was that your only time with this gentleman? Yeah. What are you doing? What have you been doing? No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:39 I don't know. No, that's funny. I wish. Okay. You know that the Golden State Killer had a micropenis? Really? Oh, yeah. So did Hitler. Well, they just build it up. You think it's going to I wish. Oh, that the Golden State killer had a micro penis. Really? Ideally. So did Hitler.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Well, they just build it up. You think it's going to be this big, crazy thing. They called the Golden State killer an excessively small penis. Yeah, Hitler had one ball and like a penis. Tiny penis. And do you know the account Uber Facts? That was huge when Twitter was first started. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:01 They would tweet that like once every two days. Oh, yeah. That Hitler had a my grow penis. It sent. I mean, I bet you could like deep dive in like a shocking
Starting point is 00:29:11 like 6% of serial killers have them or something. Yeah. I mean, it would drive you insane. I imagine. The rest are lovely. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:18 No shame in it. I have no idea. Emotion. I don't know how I would cope with it. I don't have to. I think there's a sub reddit and it's it's all people trying to cope and like fake women like guys pretending to be
Starting point is 00:29:29 women who fetishize about that telling them that it's okay it feels just as good yeah it's it's a sad place sounds like you've definitely been on the side yeah yeah no i know i didn't i've never been on i just got ads for it i just always get ads for it. It's fucking stupid. Alex. Alex Bennett. Welcome to the Yak. Yes, you are. Please join us.
Starting point is 00:29:54 We're talking about Hitler's penis. Oh, thank God. Now that's fun because it's a shirt and a dress. It is. Technically pajamas, Owen. Sweet. But you can, like, nobody thought that. Skip it.
Starting point is 00:30:05 What is your training regimen? That's not fair. What is my regimen? Yeah. I have to be there of the seven days of the week, Sunday to Sunday. And this is where? Last round boxing. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Literally a three-minute walk from here. I have to be there five days a week. I thought you just said seven. What? Oh, okay. Okay, never mind. Seven day clock. You get there what time?
Starting point is 00:30:28 Depends on the day. He texts me the day before and tells me. Okay. And you've been doing this for how long? This is my fourth week. Oh, wow. Do you feel good? This is the week that I feel stronger.
Starting point is 00:30:38 What are they putting you through? What are you doing? It's some days of conditioning. That's the real bitch. It's like ladder. It's like high school sports. It's like ladder, sprints on the treadmill push-ups pull-ups that's conditioning no ac and it's in a basement so you're i mean you're like really hot today was sparring and footwork um when i i got my first bloody nose yeah clocked me in the face are you
Starting point is 00:31:00 like sparring with girls or it's your trainer i started with the trainer and i've done two girls since then. Both of them were way more advanced than me. And I thought they would take it easy on me, but they did not. No. You got popped. Popped. She popped me and I was bleeding and then she popped me again.
Starting point is 00:31:15 She was like, next bitch isn't going to take it easy on you either. And I was like, well, hold on. I got rules though. That's awesome. Yeah, that's good. You got any good shots? No, I landed zero shots both times. that's awesome yeah that's good you're gonna get me fired you got any good shots no i got i landed zero shots both times was there a bit of relief though once you first got like hit hard did you
Starting point is 00:31:30 feel a little bit of like all right now i know what it feels like yes i was like it's not gonna get worse okay the first time i did it i was like it's not gonna get worse than this yeah and then the second time i did it and she hit me in the face i was like it's gonna get worse than this and then i was like i told my coach i go it's it can't get worse than this he was like it's gonna get worse than this and then i was like i told my coach i go it's it can't get worse than this he was like what's wrong with you you have a headgear on it gets worse than this was that an impression yeah it kind of was a bad one i couldn't tell if it was an ethnicity or an impediment if it wasn't okay what what is the point of this because i see people doing this yeah that's the babe Ruth. Body hardening.
Starting point is 00:32:05 That was just like a TikTok trend. I guess it does something. I don't know what. Where would you think would hurt the most to get hit? Body. Everyone knows it's the body. Are you talking about the body? Body shots are way worse than head shots. Have you ever seen the fight? Your torso.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Body, head, body, head, body. I would have thought, it wait you all knew that yeah we've all yeah fighters our favorite movies watching watching i was wondering if i'm going on stage in philly come in here one day like like the week of the fight maybe spar one of you i was kind of thinking yeah yeah that'd be awesome with you i would like to go to the training center and just loiter. Oh, you did do a good impression. I fully believe you could kick my ass right now. That looks good.
Starting point is 00:32:50 You have good form. Yeah, good form. Have you never seen The Fighter? You look tall as fuck. I'm watching it right now. I'm halfway through. That's why I know head, body, head, body. That's not a movie that you can stop halfway through. You're watching it right now?
Starting point is 00:33:00 No, literally, I started it Wednesday. Restart it. Restart it tonight. You'd say it like it was a TV show. Like, oh, we're watching The Fighter. We've been watching The Fighter. No, I started watching. I'm going to watch all the boxing movies.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Cinderella Man is very good. I want to see that. Have you seen Rocky? I have not seen like a single one. Those are fictional. So good. Just watch documentaries. Of real people.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Or videos of boxing matches. I like Bleed for this. Great boxing movies. What? Can I really box you? Yes. How tall Bleed for this. Great boxing movies. What? Can I really box you? Yes. How tall are you? Seven.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Providence? Five feet. Is that a real height? The girl I'm fighting is five five. Of course. No, that is real. How tall are you? Exactly five seven.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Five nine. She weighs more than me, though. Oh, you know you're fighting. Do you have tape on her? Do you have footage? Tape. 98% sure I know I'm fighting. I haven't told anybody yet. I'm waiting on her video you have footage 98 sure i know i'm fighting i haven't told anybody yeah i'm
Starting point is 00:33:45 waiting on her video back yeah but she's it like big and i saw a picture of her she like you saw and you were like oh fuck and i i was like trying to be nice but i was also like oh fuck but i do believe like i do think you're gonna kick her ass like truly um thank you this is perfectly this is like a classic no i don't like you you have the energy that you need no i don't we don't know who this is there's people i'm not gonna say one or the other i don't know enough information she seems a lot more into it than jersey jerry or i think you're on a training regimen means they both kind of i mean donnie hums at each other this fight kind of got over, but he trained for a long time, too.
Starting point is 00:34:25 He didn't eat carbs for months, I think. Oh, he didn't drink for five months? Wait, where is she from? She's from there, Huntington. Oh, you're going to win. She's going to nod off on heroin. Oh, I was thinking that, but she's a nurse. Yeah, even more so.
Starting point is 00:34:43 She's going to be taking the worst cases. Unlimited access for them. Getting a divorce. Yeah, even more so. She's going to be taking the worst cases. Unlimited access for them. Getting a divorce. Oh, my God. Oh, she's angry. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, she's going to be angry. Sorry, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:34:54 That's bad. But that'll fog your brain, though. You're not thinking straight. You're not thinking straight. Never been angrier, though. Thinking a lot. They say if you fight mad, it's not good because you lose your form. What arena are you at? You can't fight lose your form. What arena are you at?
Starting point is 00:35:05 You can't fight home. What? What arena are you at? I don't know. I don't know. That's where I had some wins there. You got to have her ex. Who's in your corner right now?
Starting point is 00:35:15 I don't know. I'm trying to find. Okay, so Doug's went on the day Portnoy show and said my manager. And I was like, what? You don't have a manager? No, I didn't know we had managers so now I've been trying to figure out some Ronan it's a shame Ronan big cat aren't here because they would pick you up yeah Ronan I think it's gonna be gone I didn't know this okay here's I guess
Starting point is 00:35:34 let's just have an open conversation the young bucks take a crack yeah we should what do you think big cat because here's the thing we the the deal is we want to do 70k pay-per-views will big cat he's already going to be promoting it. He wouldn't bring in a new person. Right. I don't know what that means. Big Cat's already going to be promoting the fight, so if he's my manager, it's not like. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:53 He's not hitting a new audience. Clemmer, you got a headache? Do I have a headache? Yeah. No, I don't. Oh, never mind. I was trying to understand. No, the joke only meant your head was huge before.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Oh, my God. Oh, don't do that. my god oh my god sorry about that i'm like a character well brandon's gone i guess brandon's managed yeah brandon i feel like would be very good at that um also what if you got you hooked up not hooked up with glenny but what if you what if you did uh let's spend some time there play the what if think about it i would love to be in your corner i think think I could be a good fire up. You need someone bigger. Oh, that's not a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:36:30 I'll be in your corner. So Doug's has stew. I would 100% do that. Do you wear pink? I would 100%. And you talk shit? That's kind of my weak spot. No.
Starting point is 00:36:38 But I'll get us fired up. We'll get fired up. Did you get Kendrick? Just watch the last fight scene of the fighter on repeat. Wait, what? I don't know. Who's Kendrick Williams, and do we want him, or is it just like you and I?
Starting point is 00:36:53 We get Kendrick Williams. It's me and Kendrick, probably. Who's Kendrick? Close friend. Okay. Honestly, a brother. I feel like one of the security guards, the one with the white hair,
Starting point is 00:37:02 I feel like he's got vibes of a manager. He's got that New York. He was yelling at someone on the phone in the lobby the other day, and I was like, this guy you want in your corner. He gives me a lot of advice. Yeah, he might be a good just someone to have around. You got to take a hit to throw a couple. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:18 So if body shots, you say body shots hurt the worst. Way worse. Man, that was like 15 minutes ago. Oh, I've been thinking on it, I've been thinking on it. I've been thinking on it. John Rich time. So come out and throw body shots. I've never seen anyone even throw a single body shot in rough and rowdy.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Body head body. What if you just go body? It hurts the worst. Oh, it's not body body. No one's going to like. I think that might be a strategy. No, I think they will. The thing with the body Is I'm not protecting
Starting point is 00:37:46 My face anymore But Clock me It's fine You shouldn't be watching Like Rocky You should be watching Old rough and rowdy clips
Starting point is 00:37:53 Yeah To see what people do They do wrong They do right It's not real box A lot of just straight arm swinging A lot of just Yeah
Starting point is 00:38:00 Have you guys watched Any film of your opponent No we're waiting on her To send it She's late on sending it. We're supposed to have it on Wednesday. Not punctual. Yeah, she's falling apart.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Yeah, she's a mess. She's divorced. Life's falling apart. She's probably going to drop out the week of. I would have divorced that late bitch too. Yeah. My boy. Part of me wants to be a ring girl,
Starting point is 00:38:19 but I want to get so made up that no one realizes it's me. Kate sells tits for $500 once. And now my head. Now she wants to be a ring girl. Now that I've had a taste of it, I want to get so made up that no one realizes it's me. Kate sells tits for $500 once. And now my head. Now she wants to be a ring girl. Now that I've had a taste of it, I want more. I saw that. That was a hit. I wore very short shorts today.
Starting point is 00:38:34 I'm covering myself because they're so scandalous. I feel like now that I've had a taste, I need a little bit more of it. So maybe I'll be in your corner as a slut. The effort. I don't know how that'll help you. You want slutty Kate or not? Yeah, 100%. All right, she's in.
Starting point is 00:38:54 Thank you. You're going to need slutty Kate. All right, so slutty Kate's in your corner. They want a girl from here. They actually want a girl from here to be a ring girl this time. What can you do from now until the competition that will make you sluttier than you already are? It would take a lot.
Starting point is 00:39:11 What is nothing? You have to sell more paint tits. I have to sell more paint tits. I would have to maybe get in an upkeep. Start at Red Bubblers. Yeah. I'll figure it out before now in the fight. I think there's a market for paint tits.
Starting point is 00:39:25 I think so, too. There was that dude that did the dick paintings. Something that little tease. Yeah, Brandon Walker could sell a ton of those things. Have you guys ever seen the dude who did the dick paintings? Like he slapped it down on paper. Nick does them pretty well. Slapped his dick down on a canvas.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Sold a bunch of them. Jason, let me know, his name was Picasso. Did he paint the bottom of it and then slap it? He was on Tosh.0. Yeah, he would use his balls as like a sponge and his soft dick as one brush and a hard dick as another brush. And then he would like describe the painting and he would just be like, shaft, tip.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Shaft, tip. There are too many avenues to get rich to not be rich. Yes, I know. It's an unlimited way. We've been talking about this. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm trying to... Have you ever actually been in a fight before? Mm-mm.
Starting point is 00:40:08 No. Have any of you? You know who fights the best? No, just like friends. Yeah. People on the street see you and are like... My dad fought a lot. It's like wrestling matches that got out of hand,
Starting point is 00:40:20 but no, I don't know. Sas, you fought your dad? My dad spar a good bit. Oh, you spar a good bit not like you come home from the bar and you're like you know who fights the fucking best people from oklahoma remember the video of the the wrestler obviously beating up the oklahoma like kickers court third string quarterback in the bathroom at the bar it was disgusting oh yeah we find that that was a good fight wow is that the dick jawler? Yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Wow. Is that art? That would be the most fun bachelorette party idea. Have a guy dick paint you and the girls. That's a great idea. That's like he's like legitimately talented. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:57 With his dick. Wow. That's impressive. Handballs? Yes. Were these good? Yeah, they were delicious. Very good. They are good. Looks good. I chugged them. You had two Handballs? Yes. Were these good? Yeah, they were delicious. They are good.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Looks good. I chugged them. You had two of them? Yeah. Sorry, Clemmer. You could have shared it. There's one more left. What's next?
Starting point is 00:41:15 How does the training escalate from here? Or now are you covering all the bases and you're just going to keep ramping it up? Do you know what's next? Well, I wanted to go to the shore. I kept going to the shore. And then he told me what's next? Well, I wanted to go to the shore. Yeah. I kept going to the shore. And then he told me if I wanted to win, I had to immediately stop. Cause I would like,
Starting point is 00:41:30 I would miss a day, but I have two days off and I would jog at the shore. Yeah. Then I would drink like a lot of high news. He's like, I could tell. Yeah. So now no more.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Yeah. When's the fight? August 19th. So we're a month out now. Oh, that's less than a month. I thought you had more time. It's. That's coming up quick. Damn. That's less than a month. I thought you had more time. Yeah, it's a little less than a month, I think.
Starting point is 00:41:48 It's less than a month. It's like four weeks. Yeah. You're going to go to Huntington, West Virginia with me? You can drink. Oh, yeah. I'll be in the corner. You can drink this weekend.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Not starting August, though. August 19th? Yeah. I have nothing on August 19th. I can. Are you going to do Sober August with me? Hell no. I will.
Starting point is 00:42:02 Two weeks. Thank you. Two grams. Yeah. There's no drugs either, Owen. Are you going to do Sober August with me? Hell no. I will. Thank you. June Graham. Yeah. There's no drugs either, Owen. Is your husband entirely sober? Yeah. He didn't used to be.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Like, he was really wild in college. And then one day was like. Remendable, yeah. Done drinking. Yeah. Does that gym smell bad that you're training? It looks like it smells terrible in there. Is that it?
Starting point is 00:42:23 Yeah, it kind of did. Yeah, it does smell. It smells bad, right? Like sweat and like BO and stuff? Yeah, it kind of did. It does smell. It smells bad, right? Like sweat and BO and stuff? Yeah, I keep getting styes in my eyes. I wouldn't like that. No, it's part of it. It's the experience.
Starting point is 00:42:31 It's the experience. Is this it? Oh, my gosh. Look at this. Oklahoma football player, nearly. Oh, my goodness. Oh, an MMA trained fighter. No, he's a wrestler.
Starting point is 00:42:39 That's in a bathroom? I don't even think he was a state placer. Is that a bathroom? Yeah. I'll fuck with the fact that you don't fuck with B.O. Oh, gross. Nothing gross. Who was the football player that hit the girl in the line?
Starting point is 00:42:51 Joe Mixon. The girl in the line? Yes. I was two people behind him in line. No way. That was wild. Like during that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Holy shit. I remember when the Pope just rocked that lady. The Pope? Yeah. Slapped the fuck out of a girl in line. That can't happen. Oh, I do. yeah holy shit yeah i remember when the pope just rocked that lady pope yeah slapped the fuck out of a girl in line i can't yeah i can't did her not on purpose oh no it was fully on purpose yeah real pope real pope yeah i mean yeah then you could be like nope that was god that was god yeah yeah we should pull that up Video always gets me fired up. Jamie? Somebody was filming the Pope? They're always filming the Pope.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Yeah. Pope gets a lot of attention. They slap somebody. Yeah. Have you ever seen the video of the cult leader who had two of his members, like, one, like, sprint tackle the other, and he said that they would be able to, like, use their force to, like, stop it, and she just gets walloped. Here's the Pope here.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Here we go. He's about to do it. I don't... See this little girl in the background? She's about to get slapped. Slapped. Slapped. Seems happy, but then he's not.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Oh, she grabs him. It's not like that. Oh. Oh. Rocked her. I thought she... I didn't like that. Open hand, hit her.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Did seem a little angry. Angry Pope. I mean, people shoot at the Popes. They can be angry. They have the Pop mean, people shoot at the Popes. You know, they can be angry. They have the Popemobile. True. Popes die. He actually had like a pretty hard quote about that, I think.
Starting point is 00:44:10 They tried giving him like the old-fashioned bulletproof one, and he was like, no, I'll dodge the bullets. The Popemobile, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, that old school, yeah. He was down to die. Brave Pope. He said the Lord would help him dodge bullets.
Starting point is 00:44:23 Hmm. The Lord would help him dodge bullets. The Lord would help him dodge bullets. Didn't really help Kennedy. Kennedy wasn't the Pope. He was an adulterer. Catholic, though. Yeah, he was fucking a lot of hoes. And nice ladies who just enjoy sex.
Starting point is 00:44:36 No, they were hoes. They were hoes. All right, they were hoes. You can't be bringing that energy. Who do you think LeBron is, Kate? That's true. LeBron James? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Just his wife. Rachel Bush, right? No. Just his wife. Rachel Bush, right? No. Take the over. Rachel Bush? No, I might be confusing her with someone. No, LeBron's like the only one I feel like that's really faithful. He seems kind of.
Starting point is 00:44:55 I would bet there's a mutual open relationship. There's not a chance in hell. There is not a chance. Well, you know the NBA more than I do. No, I'm just saying like as a spectator, he's the one. It's been called the sluttiest league by many. 100% is yeah it's insane I don't know but I would think that he'd be the one that would he seems kind of bland like okay say I was single like would I hook up with an NBA player just for the story 110% absolutely like you don't even have to be that big of a star but I feel like you still gotta make me like at least laugh or feel kind of something
Starting point is 00:45:26 oh you wouldn't fuck LeBron James? are you talking about LeBron James? I don't think I would fuck LeBron James if he didn't make we've had your barstool episodes where you vowed to fuck a man for his koozie okay but he had something going so you would fuck any guy
Starting point is 00:45:42 for the story but not LeBron he's gotta make me laugh. I feel like I'd be there afterwards and I'd be like, oh my God. LeBron was in an Oscar-nominated comedy. I know. He was in Trainwreck. I just feel like he doesn't have that gymnastic laugh. He's a funny man.
Starting point is 00:45:55 There's that old video. There's that video. It's actually not even old. I'm saying. You would fuck Bronny Jr. You would fuck both boys. Well, he's in FaZe Club. The story.
Starting point is 00:46:05 I don't know. There's just something about him that's so bland to me that I am not. Like, I know I'd be doing all the work, and I'm not into that. You would not do all that. What have you been saying this entire episode? You would do all the work with LeBron? LeBron James. What the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:46:22 What era are you in? You got a lot of assists. You would do all the work. First off, you would be on the fence about fucking LeBron James. What the fuck is this? What era are you in? You got a lot of assists. You would do all the work. First off, you would be on the fence about fucking LeBron James. Then you would do all the work. But if you did, of course you'd have to do all the work. You would be bored to hell. His thinking would be like, who is
Starting point is 00:46:38 she? She could do all the work because I'm doing her a favor. In my head, I'd be like, no. He's sculpted from gods. People offer millions for his sperm, for his body. I think he'd rock your world. He's going to see you and be like, you're going to do all the work? I've heard that he lays it down. Really?
Starting point is 00:46:54 Sleep around? What do you know? What do you know? Nothing. Give us a Westbrook story. I don't know any. No? You don't remember, though, LeBron?
Starting point is 00:47:03 You don't have any stories? No. Behind the curtains? I don't think so. No? You don't remember, though, LeBron? Don't have any stories? No. Behind the curtains? I don't think so. James Harden? Now... Just got re-signed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:13 I do feel like he's, like, a generous lover, but only if he, like, is super into you, and this would just be a one-night stand. I feel like he wouldn't. It would definitely be a one-night stand. That's not what you should be worried about. So we're now worried he's going to fall for you? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:33 This is my daydream. Get out of it. You know he's going to want more. You don't know. If I make him laugh. I'm starting to be on your side and believe everything you say, actually. Yeah, I kind of do.
Starting point is 00:47:44 I think he would fuck you. I think you'd do all the work. I don't know if you would want it, but. No, I'd be like, all right, but I. Everyone's saying that they wouldn't fuck LeBron James. Thank you. They're worried that like Dave and Big Cat are going to look at this fucking. Well, there's a lot of dudes.
Starting point is 00:47:57 A lot of dudes. Yeah, it's just all dudes. 89% dudes. This is not like. Pretty good numbers, though. Great numbers. Yeah, there's a lot of straight dudes. In this scenario scenario you don't
Starting point is 00:48:06 you're not at his house you don't get to use his pool or anything like that you're at a hotel you're what it's just a boring hotel yeah you're like the Hampton
Starting point is 00:48:14 so LeBron slides into your DM says hey Barsu okay can I fuck you you go well can I use the pool well I would say like I would need more than just the fuck
Starting point is 00:48:23 I would need more like it was like a week long getaway and it wasn't just a one night I would say I would need more than just the fuck. I would need more. It was a week-long getaway, and it wasn't just a one-night stand. I would have to have more for the story. I'm going to do it, but it's got to be for the story. Week-long getaway with LeBron James. Yeah, there's not enough for the story. That's not enough for the story? I think I'm both in port side seats.
Starting point is 00:48:39 If we're doing just boring tourist stuff, then no. I need more, is what I'm saying. Is this just LeBron or like if it was somebody else? Is this everyone? No, no. Oh, other people. No, I know they'd be wild cards. You would do them?
Starting point is 00:48:55 You're good with that? LeBron specifically is like what trips you up? If I was single and younger. Yeah, no, yeah, pretty much. I feel like I would bang the guy who wears the gritty suit just for the story like i oh yes yeah that's obvious you can move um you think he gets laid a lot self-respect it's just certain things hard to prove though if you're the gritty guy yeah like how the mask see i really am him that's the thing on the way out that would be the mission like i'd
Starting point is 00:49:23 be texting the girls like i gotta get a piece of the uniform to prove it to you. Like, that'd be the fun. What if LeBron was like, hey, here's my game-worn sneakers. I wore these when I won the championship. But that's also the thing. Nobody would believe me. Right? He had the sneakers.
Starting point is 00:49:39 That's a provable thing. What if LeBron Rees-John said, hey, I'd love to start an OnlyFans with you. Start an OnlyFans, yes. Of course, now that I've had a taste of how easy that is. Yes, of course I would. I'm just saying of all the players out there right now,
Starting point is 00:49:56 he's low on my list. Who's high on your list? He's low on your list. Low on your top five list or low on your list of every active player? Pretty low on my list. Ben low on your top five list or low on your list of every active player? Like pretty low on my list. There's a couple, like Ben Simmons doesn't interest me. I don't think he'd be that fun.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Like Ben Simmons, Ron James is just so, like one of the most famous athletes ever. I think people ever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's high? Give us a, who's a high one? Those are like the only two I know.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Oh. I'm just kidding. I have to look at how dumb I look. I think best story would be Shaq. Yes. Who has fucked him famously. And I think Shaq would be fun. I think we would have the best time. Jeanette McCurdy?
Starting point is 00:50:37 I was just going to say, did Jeanette McCurdy date him or was it Greg Oden? Andre Drummond. I would love to know your number one. Oh, honey. Does he have to be an athlete? Anything? No, I mixed those up.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Why is it Cove? Amos person? It can be an athlete. It can be an athlete. I feel like this is a weird one, but Viggo Mortensen is like way up there for me.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Does he have a horse cock? Have you ever seen the movie Eastern Promises, he gets in the fight in a bathhouse and he's swinging around this bathhouse. Like a fast bender cock? And he's kind of got this hot, I don't know. He's got a hot cock.
Starting point is 00:51:14 It's almost like a cheat though because you know what you're already getting into. It's a little bit, you know, you've seen all of them. Was he scared that LeBron's going to have a small dick? No, no, I don't think so. But I think probably average. And I just feel average. He's average?
Starting point is 00:51:28 Probably gigantic. I would say average. The size of a forearm. I'm going to side with Kate. I bet LeBron's massive cock looks averaged. On his body. On his body. He probably doesn't feel average to the woman, though.
Starting point is 00:51:40 I'm guessing. Well, I'm not taking it, Chris. That's what we're talking about, though, right? I just feel like there's a blandness to it. This is insane. I would be ready to leave. The whole time I'd be like, oh, my God. Blandness.
Starting point is 00:51:54 Is LeBron still in me? Oh, you're your first time. So you're calling an Uber, right? Yes, I feel like I'm right. Getting your back blown out by LeBron. Oh, he's right behind me, isn't he? LeBron's behind me. I can feel it intuitively, not physically.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Do you sleep with Tristan Thompson? Yes, because he's a scumbag. I'm just saying that's the vibe. That's what I was wondering about it. I feel like there'd be a story. So you're an instant yes on Tristan Thompson But you're like a probably not on LeBron James I don't know
Starting point is 00:52:30 Blowing my mind I'm talking myself into a hole Just blowing my mind It's a strange thought process Elon Musk I just saw that picture What do you mean That's an absolute yes
Starting point is 00:52:45 no no no because Elon's a slut too John why do you say not Elon his pictures are so gross he's such a loser if you're fucking for a story you can put that aside Elon Musk he's not a loser
Starting point is 00:53:01 just for a story he looks like a I mean come come on. What about the guy behind him? The guy behind him is hot as fuck. That's a good looking guy. I would fuck Obama. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:11 It's funny that he's just hosing the back of his head right now. I can't tell if that's like... That's not... Johnny Depp currently right now. Never. No. That's a story. I think you're lying.
Starting point is 00:53:20 That's just mindset. Can I tell you what I would do at Johnny Depp's house? All the drugs. And then I would... Yeah. No, you wouldn house? All the drugs. And then I would dip. My single days. I heard the guy that sleeps around is John Mayer. Have you heard that? Yes.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Of course. You heard that under the grapevine? Breaking news. I've heard Taylor Swift dates around. I've heard Leo throws on a pair of Beats over your heard Leo like Throws on a pair of like Beats Yeah Over your headphones And he rips a box Odd vape
Starting point is 00:53:47 Yeah And just fucks girls From behind And he does a Star Wars impression Are you serious? I've heard this Like I mean that's like a known Yeah no eye contact
Starting point is 00:53:55 Multiple They both face the headboard Sources Soundproof headphones The worst thing that could happen to me now Is if I put a I've been fucked by Leonardo DiCaprio I remember that
Starting point is 00:54:03 VR headset If a guy put a VR headset on, that'd be tough. To fuck you? Yeah, that'd be tough. What if you got to put one on too? What if you got to fuck LeBron, but you got to have a VR headset on and watch whatever that other dude was on? Ego Mortensen. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:54:20 I can't explain. In my head, there's a whole scenario as to how I would get to be about to bang him. How does the scenario begin? Maybe just the first introduction. How does this start? I'm out in Hollywood for the night. Yeah, of course. And he's there.
Starting point is 00:54:34 I say something. He laughs. Yeah, right. And we start talking. I'm like, oh my God, is this happening? But then he's so boring that I'm like, I can't talk to this guy anymore. How would he be boring? He lives the most lavish life.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Taco Tuesday guys? I don't know. That's the deal breaker? The Taco Tuesday? I think he would have a personality. I think. I don't know. I just feel like I'm better than him. I think he's right. He's taking like cringy Instagram
Starting point is 00:55:04 videos. He's definitely cringy. A little out of touch. I think just the fact that he's an active father to his 18, 16-year-old kids. He probably is in touch. Probably knows jokes. I don't know. Trends. I'll have to think about it.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Yeah, think about it. I'll have to get back to him. I bought that shirt and I never wore it one time I'm not sure what made me buy it it went viral recently somebody found it at a thrift store it's the best shirt of all time you should wear it
Starting point is 00:55:33 is it back home in Ohio? I might have it with me honestly I'm not sure you should wear it on Monday do you live here full time? I got an Airbnb but yeah I signed a lease I'm moving in next month
Starting point is 00:55:44 congratulations congratulations John Ripp appreciate it Chris what about you? I got an Airbnb. Okay. But yeah, I signed a lease. I'm moving in next month. Congratulations. Congratulations, John Ripp. Thanks, y'all. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Chris, what about you? I might be going to Florida. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Miami? Yeah, it's insane. I don't know what's going on. But for now, I'm in hotels every week. New blow. You just have no idea. Don't. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:55:58 You just have no idea what you're doing, do you, Chris? No clue. No clue. Which is really fun when you're full. You have ideas and you have things in the works. That's true as far as like where you're just as far as like where you're living and like oh yeah i live things week to week like i'm like i'm right beyond next week i don't know what happens you feel as young as you look uh i yeah i can run around i run around like yeah you know so i feel good about that but i don't have i don't have kids i think kids age you
Starting point is 00:56:21 oh definitely i think if you have like all my friends that have kids. Sad, yeah. I think the stress. Because you're always worried about somebody else. I don't have that worry. You never sleep. I sleep fine. Numbers to your physical appearance. You wouldn't run nearly as fast with kids.
Starting point is 00:56:35 No, no. I said the stress. Like you said, you never sleep. It's sad to see guys, like they're 30, they have a kid, and then they just lose all of their... I've been trying to find here. They just lose their skills. They can barely move.
Starting point is 00:56:50 I feel like I've lost my zhuzh. I love being a mom. It's my favorite thing on the planet. But here, I used to go and do videos and be a piece of shit, but it was fun, and I got a ton of content out of just doing whatever. I think you found your zhuzh. I would say just doing whatever. I think you found your zhuzh. I would say the opposite. I feel like you found your zhuzh.
Starting point is 00:57:08 I think you definitely would have fucked LeBron. I think so, too. Four. Now maybe I'm coming to my senses. Can we tweet, send this clip of her at spiel to all the culture bloggers? Academics. Yeah, Barstool personality says she would have to watch
Starting point is 00:57:26 a white man on virtual reality headphones to fuck LeBron James like the emoji exclamation point question mark surprise face that's not gonna go over well at all I can actually if that did happen
Starting point is 00:57:38 I can see him like getting offended and like responding to it or just co-tweeting and being like nah yeah just owns you. Oh, yeah. That would be the worst and I would absolutely get clowned.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Great question. Yeah, what about KD? I think so. Probably tweet about it. Yeah, I think so. So funny. I bet he looks wild naked. He's so tough.
Starting point is 00:58:00 He's so goofy. Yeah. Tweeting from his burners. I love his Twitter. Oh, I heard KD played down Barstool K. Twitter is amazing. You never know. What if he hears this?
Starting point is 00:58:11 What if LeBron James hears this and it gets in his head and he's like, now I have to pursue her and win her over to show her. Because that's what I used to do to mean guys in college. I'd be like, I'll show this guy. Maybe LeBron's wife. Did it work? No, no. It didn't work. The mean guys just were mean. It didn't work. I'd be like I'll show this guy maybe LeBron's wife no no didn't work the mean guys just still
Starting point is 00:58:26 were mean what does sugarplum say about all this chaos sugarplum? I'm with wherever she's super supportive she can work remote so it doesn't really matter she thinks it's a wild adventure
Starting point is 00:58:42 she thinks it's hysterical and bizarre and weird which it is. I have a question. As a parent now, your dad went to watch you get pummeled the other day at the box office. Is that upsetting to your parents that you're doing this? No, my dad's really...
Starting point is 00:58:55 That's awesome. Yeah, he just ate. It was today he came, and afterwards you went and ate. I saw you guys in Bagel Pub. It was so wholesome. I didn't interrupt. You should have come over to have fun.
Starting point is 00:59:03 I feel like you're having the loveliest time. But yeah, no, it's that like they're so supportive he's got the clemmer jeans young as hell oh yeah people call him a golfer on twitter phil mickelson yeah he does look like phil mickelson but he told me at lunch he was like listen one thing's for sure like you you have to get better that's your mom that's my mom she wore a dress she had like under boob sweat and was dressing like sweating and i was like why did you come what did you say kyle i didn't hear a word oh it sucks in the summer especially it's bad but yeah i know some girls get it in the winter no you can't possibly yeah yeah. If you have big boobs big enough, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:59:46 What was your motive for fighting? I just like... Assuming it wasn't monetary. No, when I went, I went the first time. And I wanted... Yeah, I respected it a lot more. Yes. I've been twice and I like fell in love with it more each time.
Starting point is 01:00:02 I've always been like... You actually love, you feel like a passion toward it? Oh, yeah. I was like, I love the atmosphere. I've always been like, I did it. You actually feel like a passion toward it? Oh, yeah. I was like, I love the atmosphere. And then I was like, I think I could train. Did you do it first and then decide to fight, or did you decide first? Decide it first. I knew I'd back out.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Why did you decide? You would like the atmosphere, or did you just want something very out of the comfort zone? Out of the comfort zone. I love the atmosphere. And then you happened to love the atmosphere. Win-win. I thought my mom would hate it, and I could make videos of her. She liked it too and we both were like, this is awesome.
Starting point is 01:00:27 You did hate it at first, right? Yeah, she was like, gross. You didn't want it to happen? No, she likes rough and rowdy's atmosphere. But then when I said I was doing it, she's like, why would we ever want to hit somebody in the face? That's scary for a parent though. I can understand where that's coming from. She thinks I'm going to need a nose job.
Starting point is 01:00:43 And I'm like, how bad would that be? Yeah, you guys can cushion the head of that financially. Yeah, it wouldn't be bad. It did ruin Jennifer Grey's career. Who? Dirty Dancing. She got a nose job ruined. I think I could do a little slimmer of a nose.
Starting point is 01:01:01 I would absolutely do one. Yeah, I'm like, if you broke mine, it's crooked. Nice nose. I broke it, and it's crooked. If you look at have some ideas. I would absolutely do one. Yeah, I'm like, if you broke mine, it's crooked. Nice nose. I broke it, and it's crooked. If you look at my nostrils. Mine is too. Very crooked. Didn't break it, though.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Totally uneven. What happened to you if you didn't break it? I was just born with a catawampus nose. Really? Yeah, deviated septum. Oh, no. Do you snore? Maybe that's why you don't sleep.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Oh, no. Mildly. In those days? I think I'm worse. I don't sleep well enough to snore. Me neither. Hey, should we spin the wheel? Nosebleeds?
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah. Organic or induced? Organic. No, I actually never get nosebleeds. I never get nosebleeds. Induced? No, I don't. My dorm was so dry, we would wake up and we would just have gushing.
Starting point is 01:01:43 And it was all of us. The whole hallway. My dorm was so dry, we would wake up and we would just have gushing blood. And it was all of us. All of us? Oh, the whole hallway. We'd walk out of the hallway and people would just be gushing blood. Wait, wait, wait. It was so gross. What, Clem? The whole hallway would wake up and-
Starting point is 01:01:54 Oh, yeah. In the morning, you wake up and you have dry blood. What's asbestos? Because you would have had a bloody nose in the middle of the night. Wait, wait. What college did you go to? Hampshire Tech. And we were in a-
Starting point is 01:02:04 Oh, my God. It was a horrible school. In Nashville? In Concord. And we were in like a, the dorm was built in like 1962. It was like a prison. And the humidity was, it was so, they turned up the heat so high, especially in the winter. And you'd wake up and you'd just have gushing blood.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Worst nosebleeds of my life. This was an epidemic. Everybody had it? Maybe not everybody, but you'd see people in the hallway i go into the shower in the morning and multiple people at the same time with gushing nose no what happened is you'd wake up and people either had dried blood from the night before or they woke up with gushing blood she'd have different like time stamps of nosebleeds from different people in the hallway on their way to take a 20 hour. Was there bad days or this was consistent?
Starting point is 01:02:47 It was worse in the winter because the heat was up so high and it dried everything out. It wasn't bad in the fall. For the winter, you would wake up like that every day? Not every day,
Starting point is 01:02:54 but a lot of days. I had the worst, now we're talking 25 years ago, I can't remember, or 20 years ago, but it was a lot. It was the most nosebleeds of my life
Starting point is 01:03:02 and the most severe. It was almost like everyone was a coke, but back then no one did coke. It was like 2000,bleeds of my life and the most severe. It was almost like everyone was a coke. But back then, no one did coke. It was like 2000, 2001. I don't think that's true. Well, college kids. Yeah, coke was a post-911 drug.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Coke did descend in the early 2000s. Really? In the 90s, girls wore really baggy sweatshirts and no one did drugs when I was in high school. And then when Britney Spears and the boy bands, then everything kind of rose up. But by then, I was too old and I missed it. I went to school in the most boring time possible. We had good music, though. You did.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Like 93 to like 01 was high school and college for me. That's crazy. And it couldn't be more boring. It is great music. Great music. What is your music taste? I like the Nationals. Probably, I think, the best band going right now.
Starting point is 01:03:44 Ooh, I Need My Girl. Don't they sing that? That whole album is fantastic. Yeah. I like the Nationals. Probably, I think, the best band going right now. Ooh, I Need My Girl. Don't they sing that? That whole album is fantastic. Yeah. So that's good stuff. Yeah, that kind of music. I guess alternative. I'm in a drought right now, though.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Me too. Odessa released an album. It has a few bangers. LCD sound system's good, but their latest album kind of stinks. I like Arcade Fire, but I hate the latest album stinks. Yeah, there's nothing much for rock fans. I'm kind of down right now. You like The Strokes?
Starting point is 01:04:09 I did. Oh, that's what I listened to in college. I used to love The Strokes. That was like the album in college. Similar to Kooks and Strokes, Catfish and The Bottlemen I like a lot, but they just broke up. No, did they really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Oh, I didn't know that. Alex, are you a Hanson fan? Yes. No, they're Oklahoma boys. Mbop. Apparently they're not that nice. Are you a country? I heard quite the Yes. No, they're Oklahoma boys. Mbop. Apparently they're not that nice. Are you a country? I heard quite the opposite.
Starting point is 01:04:28 I heard they were great guys. I heard they're incredible guys. Keep an eye on it. But not really. I'll go to a concert, but I like old school rap. Yeah. I need a walkout song ideas. I'll do a rap song.
Starting point is 01:04:40 Why? I think it's kind of corny when white people do rap. Record your own song. I'll send you one. I have oneny when white people do rap. Record your own song. I'll send you one. I have one saved. Oh, do Iron Man or Rough and Bloody Walkins. Really? Please send it to me. Blind by Korn. What is the band?
Starting point is 01:04:55 Korn would be cool, actually. I did a Twitter poll. Sass versus Nadeau for the manager. If you pick Nadeau. Who is winning the poll? What's the result? I just did it. We just did it now.
Starting point is 01:05:08 I would do something Black Sabbath or I would do 50 Cent. 50 Cent. I'll do 50 Cent. Why not? I think it's corny. Take it with a grain of salt. If mine ever happened, it was going to be Hands in the Sky, big shot by Straylight Ron. It's just scream like bullet in the back of the neck you could do
Starting point is 01:05:26 big shot by billy joel that's a fun song is it a pump up song i think it's pretty exciting what do you get you amped up gets me amped up i like billy joel i i'm gonna try it we try it next time you walk on your way walking to the gym i'm gonna try it jogging like billy joel clem do you like billy joel do you have an alex. I'm going to try jogging. Do you like Billy Joel, Clem? I do like Billy Joel. Do you have an Alexa? I'm going to have us do the wheel. Do you have an Amazon Alexa speaker? I don't. I don't trust them.
Starting point is 01:05:50 I don't want people hearing me. If you ordered your ciders off one, you could call it the Downeaster Alexa. Right. I could. True. Downeast is a cider brand. It's a fantastic cider brand. Very good.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Is that Rhode Island based or Massachusetts? What is that? I think it might be Massachusetts. I've gone to the Citizen Cider Like factory In Burlington Vermont That was a fun experience
Starting point is 01:06:09 I really drunk Most Dangerous Game Show Comes out on Sunday Yeah I'm excited about that I had a hard time Watching the promo Cause I'm so like
Starting point is 01:06:19 Squeamish with that stuff Like I suck at Lowering the bar And I saw the woman At the dinner table With the And I was like Oh fuck I'm gonna have a hard time watching this were you the one drinking the smoothie that
Starting point is 01:06:28 wasn't a smoothie um i think i don't know i can't what i'm allowed to say it might help you they're putting out a version on facebook where quigs had to turn all the blood into slime for like like uh for safety violations or whatever so you can watch that version it might be a little less uh squeezy or squeamish okay noted watch on facebook if you're like me uh but i'll definitely be watching it looks like one of the best like produce things that it looks yeah it looks awesome um i heard some behind the scenes things that people will enjoy what like i heard some things that went down that i think the audience will very much enjoy. Office threesomes.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Yeah, there was some sex. I hate to admit it, but I do love a little office drama. As long as it doesn't involve me, I'm always like, I don't care about that stuff. What? It's so funny how some people
Starting point is 01:07:16 are just constantly getting an office drama. It's like I've never even come close. Well, yeah. You don't talk to anybody. I know. Keep your head down. Smart move. I've dabbled, but I've never even come close. Well, yeah. You don't talk to anybody. I know. Keep your head down. Smart move. I've dabbled,
Starting point is 01:07:27 but I've never really... You've dabbled. You were in some office drama when other officers got hired. Yeah, but nothing crazy. Nothing that crazy. Yeah, you have. You've been in the mix.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Yeah. You got pregnant. That was kind of dramatic. I got pregnant. That's dramatic. Who was a co-worker at the time? He was a co-worker. It's office drama.
Starting point is 01:07:45 That is scandalous. Very scandalous. Remember I heard that and I wasn't like, oh shit, really? I was like, oh fuck. That makes sense. I was shocked. Really? Personally.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Taken aback. Take us through your day when you found out. Oh my god, I took off work. It was tough. It was a lot. It threw a lot of people off, yeah. Huh. I would love to get him some office drama i'm in the market for some you've had some with like the with just twitter in general
Starting point is 01:08:11 not oh yeah her office and i went at it before but we was like right when i started yeah we text now not often but like he's very friendly yeah yeah how are you no he's not i'm i think he's very friendly. Kirk's a nice guy. Yeah. How are you and Kirk? No, he's not. I think he's a guy. I like him. I met him at the... You can't just call everyone nice. Nice guy, yeah. He was a nice guy.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Kirk's mad at me, so... What is his biggest flaws? Well, his flaws... He's brilliant. All right. He's the greatest conversation I've ever met. He's a very smart guy.
Starting point is 01:08:40 No, he wasn't. I went to his show last week and he wasn't happy I was there. How did he express that? Get the fuck out of here. Bummer. He brought me backstage. You're in a toxic relationship.
Starting point is 01:08:53 He brought me backstage. He said, well, I think. I love you. To his point, I think he wanted me to go do your own thing. Because, right. I've been a fan of his for six years. It's hard for me to break away. I know.
Starting point is 01:09:04 It's kind of half. I don't want to speak for him but it's almost like if i go to the show now like it is like a you know people react you know where before but i'm not like i just want to go see and it was an amazing show his show was insane it was it was so great okay um it really was it was like and i've been to all the shows it was the best one he had done what what separates him from the pack? What does he do live that others... Well, this show in particular, he had a live band, and he's singing.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Lucifer singing? He was singing with the band. Running into the crowd. Running into the crowd. He was jumping. He jumped on, like, it's a three-tiered theater, and he jumped on, like, the balcony of the second tier. It was, like, terrifying.
Starting point is 01:09:44 It was wild. Like, it was a great show. but i but but to his point he's right like i should i need to go like all right like leave me the fuck alone go do your thing and i finally got the hint when he's like get the fuck out of here he's genuine genuinely telling you to just get the fuck out yeah yeah he didn't know oh well i mean he he no well they told me the producer reached out a month earlier was like it's a clean break like and, and I just thought that meant, like, because I was originally going to do content for that show, and I thought that's what he meant, but they meant, like, no, like, go away from us.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Like, leave us, go do your own thing, leave us alone. Which I understand, I really do. I get it. Why? Nice guy, though. I'm a nice guy. Yeah, nice guy. He, like, he also gave me, like, a wild opportunity.
Starting point is 01:10:22 I was a fan of his show, and he brought me on every week for a year. No one's done that for me. That's an unbelievable opportunity he gave me. I have zero beef with him, zero beef with the show. I get it. It's probably a better thing for me to focus on this shit than doing stuff that's in Watertown Massachusetts that I can't get to. Hero genius, podcast genius.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Roback. Can we talk about Roback? I would love to talk about Roback. I just sent you guys the ad copy if you want to maybe riff on it with me for a little. But we just got news that they're going to give 20% off to your first purchase through the end of this week
Starting point is 01:10:53 only at Roback.com. R-O-H-R-H-O R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com with the code YAK. That's Y-A-K. 20% off. That's wickediki what do they have kate they're talking we're talking about uh performance polos performance hoodies so comfortable moisture wicking so if you got that under boob sweat you don't have to worry about it in roback
Starting point is 01:11:16 especially brandon walker again not to bring up those boobs but he could use a roback 20 off promo code yak roback.. Even if you don't do athletic activities, it always feels better to be wearing athletic wear. It's more comfortable. My baby dad wears it all the time. It breathes. Have you ever had chicken stock broth? It's a similar taste. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:38 The under boob sweat. It is, yeah. If you drank it? You'd be slurping it or licking it. I don't know if you could full gulp of it. If you drank it. You'd be slurping it or sipping or licking it. Just licking it. I don't know if you could full gulp of it. Traditional Chinese dumpling soup. This is weird and also TMI, but my-
Starting point is 01:11:55 Oh, no. I know, I know. And also, am I an idiot? I was like asking for the wheel. Oh, yeah, we got to do the wheel. There it is. I was like, I don't know. I don't want to keep everybody here on a Friday.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Let's spin the wheel. Yeah, we can spin it. Was the wheel TMI? No, no. Oh no. Oh doctor! Should we do it on Monday? Yeah, it seems like a Monday.
Starting point is 01:12:20 I'm gonna be out. So what did we agree on? This is for everyone or one person? It's one person. It was one person. Yeah, but Big Cat needs to be in. Yeah, because I think we should get Patty the Batty involved in this next one as well.
Starting point is 01:12:36 So maybe we'll wait until Monday. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Time out, time out, time out. Patty, there's a bunch of Barstool America people over with Patty the Batty right now. What if they get him to do a double Ritz, they package it up, and bring it back to America? Someone does a Patty the Batty double Ritz. Oh, he's making it.
Starting point is 01:12:53 And he sends it back. Can you send food back like that? Put it in your pocket. It'll fly with it. Something to think about. I want him to taste it. We'll send one to him too. Or K't know if that's it. I want him to taste it. Right. Oh. We'll send one to him, too. Right. We can mail a copy.
Starting point is 01:13:08 Or KB and I can go over. Right. I would love to watch him cut weight. Well, he made weight already. I know. I would like to watch. I would love to watch him cut because he does it so well. He mooned everybody.
Starting point is 01:13:20 What do you think he did? I want to see him put it back on. That's fun, too. That's probably more fun. That's probably fun to watch. Yeah, less morbid. He does it quick, right? He's probably gaining. Doesn't he put it back on. That's fun too. That's probably fun to watch. He does it quick, right? Doesn't he put 20 back on in like a week? He'll probably fight tomorrow at like
Starting point is 01:13:31 15 pounds more than he weighed in today. Are you serious? It's all water right at the end and then they just like pack it all right. KB could talk about this better than I could. So once you get down to depending on your body fat, like five to eight pounds more to go,
Starting point is 01:13:49 especially if you're cutting a lot. It's all water weight, so you just have to sweat it out. He was 169 on Sunday or Monday. So you're very dehydrated by the time you make weight, but you will also, your main goal is to just pack on the fluids first because you're thirsty. But wait, so then- Then that goes fast. That's five pounds, and the fluids first because you're thirsty. But wait, so then... Then that goes fast.
Starting point is 01:14:06 That's five pounds. And you eat. Then you drink more. You try and gain it back before the fight, right? Yeah. So what's really the point of weigh-ins? It's all cheeky bullshit. It's like a dog and pony show, right?
Starting point is 01:14:14 It's just like strategy how much you can cut at the last second to give you the most advantage. What's the meal, the gain-back meal? Is it like a burger? I know Kyle's. It's a half melted purple Pedialyte. That was my drink. Yeah, but you said you didn't eat. Yeah, half melted, half frozen
Starting point is 01:14:33 potato potato. You said you craved the drink first. Yes, yes, yes. But I did eat. It was your dream meal. Say you had to gain like 10 pounds. What would your move be? I was never hungry. It was kind of sad. you had to force i was just thirsty i was so dehydrated that's what i was just saying yeah yeah but you said i wouldn't eat at all i did eat yeah fair so you drink so the second you get off the scale for the way and are you just drinking non-stop
Starting point is 01:14:58 until everyone goes right to the the beverage and then you do that until the fight or is there a point in time you you're like, all right, I've drank enough? Like, that's a dry core. Yeah, he looks behind. It's so tight. There's no... Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:15:11 Like a Greyhound. I would love to watch him. I will say, it's disconcerting to see someone with that haircut have that body. Agreed.
Starting point is 01:15:19 You really don't see it coming. It's like when Tommy Smokes got ripped. I don't mean that in a mean way, but remember that time he got ripped? He said that Dave told him he wasn't allowed to coming. It's like when Tommy Smokes got ripped. I don't mean that in a mean way, but like that's – remember that time he got ripped? He said that Dave told him he wasn't allowed to do it. He bullied him into getting back out of shape.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Yeah. He believed Dave that he thought he looked bad. Dave was just – If someone tells me anything, I believe it. Really? About my body, yeah. Well, what do we do with the double ritz then? We're going to wait until Big Cat's back.
Starting point is 01:15:41 We're going to do it when Big Cat needs to be in. Okay. So mark it on the books. It's noted. All right. Don't want to mess up the wheel does anybody have anything else it's i do want to say chaps is turning 40 uh-huh it's a milestone he's taking his first ever vacation without his family like which when you go on vacation with kids it's a whole different ball of wax and when you just go as an adult on your own he's like never done that since his kids have been born which is like almost 20 years now.
Starting point is 01:16:05 So him and one of his guy buddies, they like rented a cabin in Maine with like a river in the backyard. And they're just going to like dude out up there for a week. So I hope he has a really good birthday. Yeah. Yeah. New zero block 30 is out. Anybody else?
Starting point is 01:16:18 John, what do you got? Anybody else coming out? Got a blog coming out. It came out last 15 minutes on earth. Oh, okay. Interesting. Oh, okay. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Oh, you're giving us? That dude, I bet, I feel like people hate him. You know that Johnny Sun guy? Yeah, the tweeter. I kind of like him, but he's a good writer. He wrote a very wholesome one of ranking your last 15 minutes on Earth from worst to best. So I just made a much worse version. I think he's good, too.
Starting point is 01:16:47 He's a little much sometimes. He's cutesy. Yeah, exactly. He's a good writer, though. Actually, I like following him. Anyway, so yeah, I stole his idea. That's coming out probably tomorrow. I've got to finish it up.
Starting point is 01:16:57 All right, and Alex, you're training all weekend? Pretty much. People can buy the fight right now. Buy rnr.com. You have an incentive, right? You have to get to, what, 70? 70K. Haven't made the fight right now. Buy rnr.com. You have an incentive, right? You have to get to, what, 70? 70K. 70K.
Starting point is 01:17:08 I haven't made the wager yet. Okay. Okay. What do you think? Do you think in anything? We'll hit 70K. You think? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:15 You're going to help me. Yeah, I think so. Everybody will. Sure. Yeah. Something non-monetary. I need an idea to wager with Dave. Dave.
Starting point is 01:17:23 You're brainstorming. You're brainstorming. We can do Dave. Dave. Brainstorming. Brainstorming. We can do monetary. You guys both have a ton. Yeah, you can go. Taxes, though. You know, like, why?
Starting point is 01:17:33 Yeah. Fair. Jay texted me thinking it was his wife. Oh. No. Oh, really? Fun, but taking forever. We've played six holes in just under two hours. Oops, wrong text story to you
Starting point is 01:17:47 is his wife's name start with an O it's Ophelia okay I don't know he doesn't care for her that much alright I'm gonna say go see Sass this weekend if you're in New York City I don't want to promote that but I will be in St. Louis next weekend and then I'm in Providence the weekend after
Starting point is 01:18:05 and then I'm in Atlanta the weekend after that wow alright so buy tickets to that that's a US tour yeah I'm actually
Starting point is 01:18:12 I'm with Francis in St. Louis so it'll be fun awesome that's cool and if you see KB in the streets try and wrestle him he loves that
Starting point is 01:18:19 yeah I do like it he does okay I was going to say is that the yak? everybody have a good weekend thanks guys
Starting point is 01:18:30 thanks everyone Have a good weekend. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.