The Yak - Kate's Last Day in New York Ends with a Banger | The Yak 7-19-23

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Where oh where can my Katie be?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolya...k

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello. Yeah. Rollback.com promo code. Yeah. First purchase. Cues and polos, hoodies,
Starting point is 00:00:38 joggers, shorts. When the joggers right now, rollback.com. We'll go to yak. App have killed. killed sporkle roan killed it what do you mean he picked tommy smokes over it i know well that's that that's that's damning for sporkle and then roan killed me yeah i actually feel so bad about that i saw it at like uh i got like home at like 11 last night from a dinner and I like
Starting point is 00:01:05 looked back through the text message and I saw what I said and I was like oh fuck. Yeah. That's the end of me. That's like Freud's fucking wet dream. Rone texted me and Pat Bev together to so Pat Bev can come on part of my take
Starting point is 00:01:21 and his text said hey Pat I put big fat on this oh wrong i did and i and it was and i was like big fat i'm the only other person on this and he already said hey pat dude i felt looked around i was like that's me it's classic Rowan putting you down so I felt so I mean that's ironic because it's a product of me having fat fingers and hitting a fucking
Starting point is 00:01:53 no you can't do that you look slim and you know it I was one pound away from my heaviest lions didn't even try to eat you no they fucking they had something better to eat on I just felt bad I felt terror and i was like should i text him right right now in that group chat and be like i'm sorry and i just like let it go and then you saw me today and you're
Starting point is 00:02:14 like i didn't sleep yeah it's okay i blame this fucking company's culture because they've turned the f word into something that is not. Like, they're calling you fat. Dude, you've never been actually fat. Oh, yes, I have. No, you haven't. There's a clip of me when I was, like, 265. That's fat. That's obese. 265?
Starting point is 00:02:36 Yeah, like, 20... So is Sean Oakman. That's obese. That's obese. No, you're fucking... Oh, guess what they're doing upstairs. I'm medically fat. What? The biometric... Thank you. I told you this company is Oh, guess what they're doing upstairs? I'm medically fat. What?
Starting point is 00:02:46 The biometric. Thank you. I told you this company is. Did we do it? Yes, I got my fucking results. We all go up there? 5'7", by the way, not 5'6". 1'62".
Starting point is 00:02:55 Wait, you just filled that out yourself. No, he measured me. This is not my handwriting. Can we go up there? You have to, if there's room. Yeah. Oh, this is way better than having Julio around. Yeah, I think you could go up.
Starting point is 00:03:12 What else? Tell us. Dude, yeah, my weight, 162 for 5'7", is medically overweight. On BMI? BMI, too. You're fat. Wait, but you don't look. But he is. No, he's too. You're fat. Wait, but you don't look. But he is.
Starting point is 00:03:26 No, he's overweight. It's not like body fat percentage. It's just like how much he weighs. I weigh less than you. Yeah, 25.4%. That's a flex, Kate. Way to be. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:03:36 I'm saying that's what I'm saying. There's two of her. You weigh more than two people. I should get an E.L. screening. Are you going to try to lose weight? Fat fuck? No. Did you tell them you're on muscle?
Starting point is 00:03:49 I didn't tell. They didn't even see me shirtless. Right. I think if they saw you shirtless, they'd say. Did they do your cholesterol? My cholesterol went way down in the past year, which was, I almost shed a tear. I'm obese. I'm looking at it right now.
Starting point is 00:04:02 I'm definitely obese. On BMI or body fat percentage? I think both. Yeah, both. S'm looking at it right now. I'm definitely obese. On BMI or on body fat percentage? I think both. I get both. Sash, did you get the Red Bulls? No, because you told me you were going to get the Red Bulls. You said you needed... I'm actually a little pissed off right now.
Starting point is 00:04:15 No, you said I'm going to be late. Red Bulls, I said no problem, little bro. No, I said Big Cat going to need you to get the Red Bulls. I'm going to be late. And what did I say? You said got you, little bro. Yeah, you did. Like you got me. No. Why would you to get the Red Bulls. I'm gonna be late. And what did I say? You said got you, Lil Bro. Yeah, you did. Like, you got me.
Starting point is 00:04:27 No. Why would you not get the Red Bulls? You have a Pellegrino. Goddamn bastard. You have a Pellegrino right there. It's literally a buy one, get one free deal. So you're pretty pissed? You son of a bitch.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I knew it. Oh, man. Knew you got the Red Bulls. Oh. All right, yeah. eight ounces is cool. Oh! I knew you were going to complain about eight ounces. I got you too, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I know my boy. I literally bought it, and I was like, whoa, this is really tiny. Sass is going to be mad about it. Give me two. Look at that. Thank you. It's a brave link. Bear trap.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Yeah, you got You got pranked bro I know I just pranked you so bad You pranked me You got me I got you so bad 162 is unhealthy though
Starting point is 00:05:12 I'm I'm I'm I'm obese as well Yeah No I think we're all obese Probably Yeah
Starting point is 00:05:18 I'm gonna do Ozempic I don't care Don't You don't need to do Ozempic I heard it destroys your motivation. It destroys your personality. You could probably use a motivation destroyer. Yeah, honestly.
Starting point is 00:05:31 True. You want to cool out a little bit. Yeah, to your heart. Do you need more vacations? Take a page out of Roni's book. Relax, yeah. Yeah. South Africa, let's go.
Starting point is 00:05:43 So many, like I went to dinner last night with three other people, and I told them I was one pound from my heaviest, and they're like, we are all in the same boat. Like, we are all at our heaviest weight. Like, I think it's going around right now where, like, almost everybody's at, like, the heaviest that they've ever been. You boys just got to get celiac, I've been telling you. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:06:01 Yeah, it's great. I don't know how, though, because I feel like I must be losing weight right now because all I do is sweat constantly. That's just water weight. I'm telling you. Yeah? Yeah, it's great. I don't know how, though, because I feel like I must be losing weight right now because all I do is sweat constantly. That's just water weight. I just want to be sweating. But aren't you drinking more than ever? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:12 I mean, I drank last night, but not like... But no, I've been drinking a lot less than usual, actually. But liquids in general, though. That's probably what's ballooning you up. How's your shirtless... How's your naked self look? Terrible. general, though. That's probably what's ballooning you up. How's your shirtless, like, how's your naked self look? Terrible. Yeah, same.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I have one pose I can do like this. Yeah, I got... I look awesome. Yeah. My chest isn't bad. Then every other pose is gross. Yeah, it's just my torso that's the problem, which I guess is half of my body, so...
Starting point is 00:06:44 Pat Biff said you had great shoulders, bro. Your frame is crazy. Your frame goes brazy. I know. We don't say crazy. Don't. But do you actually believe that, though? That my frame goes crazy?
Starting point is 00:06:56 Yeah. I don't believe it. I know it. So then why are you so down on your body if you have the positive fact that you have a brazy frame? I'm not down on anything. I don't know what any of this means though. What does 143 cholesterol mean? You're
Starting point is 00:07:11 140. Wait, there's a car chase right now, TJ? What? I have no idea what that means. Yeah, put it on. Live stream. Do it. Where is this? LA? That's always LA. That is a long ass bed. It's always our way and eaten that is a long ass bed it's always la unfolds and we're hoping like we were saying earlier we're hoping that it's gonna end in a very peaceful way this
Starting point is 00:07:32 is random but the old one is hoping that it's gonna end oh no yeah we want that thing to explode there was a report that like post malone one of his airplane wheels fell off they had a live cam going of like the airplanes and the whole office was all behind Trent's laptop watching Post Malone's plane land. Those were the best moments. Yeah, everybody was freaking out. Remember the alpacas? No.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Emus? That were loose on the highway? Yes. That ruled. Well, this guy's not even going fast. Wait, he's kicking it up. Yeah, he is now. Is there a boat on the back of this?
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah, what's on the back? 40 miles per hour. Is there a way to detach that back trailer and send it toward... Probably not while he's... Is there a button you can press?
Starting point is 00:08:16 I mean, this guy has to know he's fucked. Or a lady. It would be great if it was a lady. No, she would have wrecked by now.
Starting point is 00:08:22 It's going 30 miles, 38. She's going slow enough. She kind of can't figure out where the lanes are. Yeah. I think this is an old Jewish woman. It's a trans black lady. Why?
Starting point is 00:08:43 I'm just assuming. I'm just assuming. It's L.A. That's why. At this point, the driver's probably just enjoying their fun. Why wouldn't they just ram him right now? Also, this doesn't seem like a chase. Where's the cars behind? It's going 17 miles per hour.
Starting point is 00:08:57 So slow. If you hit 17 miles per hour in a car chase, it's not a car chase. If a person could catch you on foot, it's like, or like GTA. They should, all police, instead of getting helicopters to follow these things around, get like junkyard cars that you can just crash into them.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Make it a derby. Yeah, if they have like a shitty car and they just, all right, we got this guy. Smash him. We are two hours and 30 minutes
Starting point is 00:09:23 into this chase, by the way. What? Shoot this guy. Holy fuck. He's running out of gas. Shoot him. We are two hours and 30 minutes into this chase, by the way. What? What? Shoot this guy. Holy fuck. He's running out of gas. Shoot him. So they're only chasing him because he's a drone vehicle? Is he stopping? He's going obscenely slow.
Starting point is 00:09:35 11 miles an hour. Where are the police? All the miles per hour, all in real time. Oh, there they are. Is he pulling over? Did they get him? This might be the end. Oh, zoom in. Isn't there a helicopter? He might be running out of gas.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Is he going to go on foot? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, generator. Zoom in. They usually don't zoom in because of that one chase where the guy steps out of his car and shoots himself in the head. That's what we want. I ruled.
Starting point is 00:09:59 That's exactly what we're looking for. There we go. What he's got to do, he's probably giving them a little pump fake right now. Yeah, bring it down to five and then just absolutely let it rip. He's just fucking lost. He's recalibrating maps. Oh!
Starting point is 00:10:16 We caught this at the best time. Zoom in, yeah. Imagine doing this for the last two hours. Oh, shit. Zoom in! TJ, zoom in yourself. Oh, he just said viewer discretion advised. Viewer discretion advised. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Thank you, TJ. Annual Zoom. You should just hit the gas again. Damn, TJ, you were dead on about that. They literally just said that's why they pulled out. Then sometimes they sit in the car for hours, too. Wait, are you Zooming or are they? TJ's doing that-ish. I think they might in the car for hours too. Wait, are you zooming or are they? Cyclimactic.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I think they might have zoomed in too. I think they might have zoomed in. Do we know if the person is armed? You have to hope. It's true though. That's human nature. Otherwise, we would watch drone races the same way people watch motorcycle races.
Starting point is 00:11:06 But the construction company is kicking themselves that their branding isn't bigger on the side of the company. Yeah, Revell's definitely going to have a tweet about all the lost marketing they had by not getting better font. You should buy a Barstool. Do some side bets. Height race. Height race. I'm down. How sick would it be?
Starting point is 00:11:26 Like that first minute when you're like, I'm going. Yeah. We're doing this. I had a buddy who fled from the cops. He got pulled over. He was getting pulled over and he was going around a corner and he threw it in. He went as fast as he could around the corner and then he pulled into a parking lot and turned his car off and went into the store. Did it work?
Starting point is 00:11:48 They never found him. I think it works a lot. Yeah, I think so too. Not if you have a generator on the back of it. No, no. If you're in that, whatever the fuck that thing is. You think he has a captive? It doesn't even look like, is it a generator?
Starting point is 00:12:03 It looks like it might be like an AC. Looks like it's the dad from Friday. Looks like it's like a dog catcher. You know any dog wardens? I know one, nice guy. Yeah? He run from the cops? You have to run for dog warden.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Oh, an elected position, I think. Really? Dog warden? Someone has to have Jerry run as. I think it's, you have to run. Is it a dog that wins? No, wins no no no you're the dog catcher oh that would be cool if a dog one dog war dogs ahead of all the corrupt yeah there dog mayor somewhere or isn't in New York maybe there's like a dog mayor of Brooklyn or something? I don't know. Oh, what is he doing?
Starting point is 00:12:46 He's fiddling around a lot. Yeah. Get away from the door. Show us your hands. He's jerking. Hands! Hands! Hands!
Starting point is 00:12:53 He's opening up a hand. You fucking creep. Who did? It's on Chase Street. That's funny. Oh, this is all planned. This thing's going to pop. This is advertising
Starting point is 00:13:04 for the new A24 movie. Got again. This is the Barbie promo. Margot Robbie steps out of the car. Does it say Atomic on the side? That could be, what's the new movie? Oh, this is Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah, this is something that has really captivated. Of course it has. We do have other live events. I think he's on the phone with them. We're going to hit an ad real quick. Now his hands. Let's see now. Put his hands up.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Show us your fucking hands. For a little bit there, we're able to reestablish it. Hand chef. Are you guys prepared to see a death right now? I would love to I'd love to see blood I don't want to see a gruesome death As much as I want to see an explosion
Starting point is 00:13:53 What if that windshield Blood everywhere Shot himself Not a gruesome I want him to die of old age In the car. Natural causes in the car. Oh, it was just this guy stole it at a gas station? Why is it always LA?
Starting point is 00:14:23 Car culture there. You can't really steal a car in New York. Where would you go? You would get like one block and they'd just close the street. I feel like the chases never work out. Never. And there's just a narcissism of people that live in LA. They think they could become an actor or get away from the cops.
Starting point is 00:14:42 They're going to be famous. Fast Five. Fast Five, yeah. think they could become an actor or get away from the cops they're gonna be famous fast five five yeah i would aren't you just a little curious to see like how far could you go yeah because i know i couldn't get far i don't has there ever been like a successful like chase like this where the person just gets away when it's on the news once the helicopter once the helicopter gets you, yeah. Gone in 60 seconds, doesn't he blow away the helicopter? He's gone.
Starting point is 00:15:10 In GTA, you gotta go into a parking garage when that happens. Top the wall. First, Two Furious had all those cars drive out at the same time, I think. Yeah, that's a smart one. I know if it's a heist of some sort, you need to have a getaway car.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Blow up the original car. You really should steal the car and have a getaway car. Yeah, that's what they do. Well, no, not in car chases. It's a movie. Like bank robberies. In one movie. In one movie that I've ever seen they did that.
Starting point is 00:15:40 I just wanted some AC. It's hot as fuck out. I didn't do it Arms crossed They just gotta run in there right Why aren't they running in Why aren't they going up to his window like a normal traffic stop So he has to be armed right
Starting point is 00:16:02 He's gotta have a strap on him What do you think he's carrying 22 So he has to be armed, right? He's got to have a strap on him. What do you think he's carrying? 22. 22? AK. AK? Our security guard yesterday, we asked him what he was carrying.
Starting point is 00:16:14 He said a 25. Is that? I don't know what that is. Ig? I don't know. It's like a 22, but.03 bigger. What is a.25? A pistol?
Starting point is 00:16:27 I think it's a pistol, yes. Hollow point? I don't know. John Morant said that? Want to find out what hollows feel like? Yeah. Like that. That's a crazy thing to say to someone. That's a crazy thing to say to someone.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Threaten him with a tiny bullet. Ever feel like what musket balls feel like I would definitely be more of a A Glock guy Really Is that Glock time Like an old school Tommy gun Jams too often
Starting point is 00:16:53 In my day to day life I cannot be dealing with jams Yeah Would fuck me up You're a man on the go Oh They spike stripped them. Well, you know, I'm not sure if the spike strips worked or what changed there.
Starting point is 00:17:09 You can buy those on Amazon. But that driver bringing this thing to a stop out here in the Canoga Park area. We're actually at Canoga and Chase. Now, the officers, they've got their guns out. That door hasn't opened up, and they've shown no sign of him getting out of that vehicle. Is there a possibility that that truck can still drive and he can just drive off? There's always that chance. So right now, LAPD working to find a way
Starting point is 00:17:29 to block this person in safely. Yeah, he's a ham. TJ, monitor it. One of us needs to go steal a car now. Add it to the wheel. Yeah. Can we play GTA and see who can last the longest? Well, it's not really about who could last the longest.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It's more about how many stars can you get away from. That's the real challenge. I would like to get in a foot chase with some New York PDs. Don't they not chase anymore? No way. They can't. They don't have the stamina. Oh, they are.
Starting point is 00:18:01 I mean, they're wearing uniforms that are 20 sizes. R2-D2. They, like, get wearing... Those guys are Studebakers. Uniforms that are 20 sizes too big for that. R2-D2 Bakers. They, like, get caught up in their baggy-ass pants and shit. Yeah. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. The uniforms that wear... Absolute bluffing.
Starting point is 00:18:14 They trip and fall into a fruit stand. Yeah. Watermelons go flying. Oranges. Yeah, I think they're not allowed to, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think they're not allowed to, right? Yes. I know they're not allowed to chase the dirt bikers, like the 12 o'clock gang.
Starting point is 00:18:33 They're not allowed to chase those guys anymore. Yeah. In Philly, in Atlanta. Yeah. Is the dirt bikes a gang affiliation or just... I think it's like a hobby. Yeah, it's not even boys being bad. I think it's just boys having fun Yeah, it's not like... It's not even boys being bad. I think it's just boys having fun. They call themselves like 12 o'clock gang, right?
Starting point is 00:18:49 12 o'clock crew, something like that? Bike life. Yeah. Bike life is like bike life wrecks or bike life whatever. I know it's 12 o'clock because it's... They're always at 12. What? Huh?
Starting point is 00:19:02 You either get it or you get it. I'm not dumbing this shit down for you guys. Like popping wheelies? Yeah, like popping a wheelie. That's a vertical-ass wheelie. It is. Have you ever seen them? It's dangerous, dude. Those videos are fun to watch. Those videos are awesome. They're bad boys, though.
Starting point is 00:19:17 The dude Bike Life Rex, he's on a pedal bike, and he'll just go straight at the car and then swerve at the last minute. Oh, yeah. That's like... That happens in New York all the time. Happens to you? No, you'll be like in an Uber, and a group of teens will pull up on your Uber.
Starting point is 00:19:32 And they're all popping wheelies, and they're driving right at the car. Oh! He's getting out! Hands up. Hands up. Do you think sometimes... Oh, he's loose as hell. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Oh, he's going to run. He's going to run for sure. He really should. Oh, he's off the traps. The pressure of knowing you're on camera makes you... Oh, what else? Oh, he's on drugs. He's on drugs.
Starting point is 00:20:00 He's breaking it down. Oh, he's fine. He looks like Conor McGregor. He's getting loose with it. Yeah. Three hours? Don't give in like that, dude. Pavements fly hot as hell.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Oh, he's on drugs. Yeah. I don't think that's the position that's supposed to be in, is it? He's assumed the dead position. on drugs. Yeah. I don't think that's the position that they're supposed to be in. To do that. He's assumed the dead position. Just full starfish. What the fuck are they waiting for?
Starting point is 00:20:39 Take him away to jail. Probably laughing a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, they're probably like, what the fuck was that? This dude's crazy. Well, good for him for getting that far. Yeah. Three hours is a long ass bit. Yeah. Yeah, they're probably like, what the fuck is that? This dude's crazy. Well, good for him for getting that far. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Good thing they have this many. Oh, they're checking to see if anyone else. Smart. There might be some kids in that thing in the back. Oh, oh, he's getting up.
Starting point is 00:20:56 He's probably saying it's hot. Yeah, it's probably like the pavement's burning my fucking skin off. Oh, he's going back down. skin off Oh, he's going back down Nice formation boys gun does that guy have? From the rights. Fucking idiot.
Starting point is 00:21:27 What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. That's what he's here for. A lot of guns on him right there. My fucking job. For a dude that has no gun. I don't fucking pick my kids up. Fucking ass.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Job well done, boys and blue. What's up? We're good by us, too. Watch by us. Good find, TJ. God, am I disappointed. I know. I mean, that was kind of funny.
Starting point is 00:21:56 It was. Samuel Schmidt, thanks for sending that via email. I don't know how you got my email. Maybe that was Samuel Schmidt. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to send this to TJ. Boys are going to love this. It's been a high-speed chase, and I really want to miss the yak. Can you talk about me for a little bit? That was sweet.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Can we see Bike Boy? Bike Life Rex? Just any of these dudes that bike directly at a car and then swerve out of the way. Some of them get hit, too. There's a decent amount of footage of them getting hit. I'm sure. They obviously are at fault, right? Of course.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Yeah, but they don't really get in trouble. Right. There always are helmets, right? There always are. Oh, yeah. Helmets, knee pads, wrist guards. This dude, Bike Life Rex's new thing is he eats cereal while he surfs on his bike. No.
Starting point is 00:22:49 He surfs on his bike and then we'll have- He's not eating cereal. He's not eating cereal and then pour milk into it. He just does tons of different types of cereal. Always eating cereal. I'm on the magic spoon. You guys got to try this shit. Is it good?
Starting point is 00:23:02 So good. I've heard it gets a little clumpy. I don't know. It's something this shit. Is it good? So good. I've heard it gets a little clumpy. I don't know. It's something about it. Does it have no carbs? No or low. I think it's no carbs, no sugar. It tastes delicious.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Milk first. You can't have that. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, yeah. He's on a bike. I didn't even realize that. He's on a bike. Just eating cereal.
Starting point is 00:23:24 You have a spoon? Oh, of course he does. He's on a bus. Just eating cereal. Do you have a spoon? Ah. Of course he does. That's a pretty big spoon. I don't think that's a good ratio. I love Fruity Pebbles, though. It's a massive bag of Fruity Pebbles. I think that he might.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Maybe it's his old fridge. Oh, he's got Halal. Halal Fusion. Wait, how is he? Yeah, I don't get it. I think you have to run. Is there a motor on the bike? No.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Slight downhill. He's coasting? Where's he at? In Philly? Chinatown. That's a lot of sauce. Gerard Avenue maybe or something? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Oh. He's turning. I like that he wore gloves so he didn't get messy. Is he doing an ad for them? It is. It's an ad. That's incredible. We should get a yak ad.
Starting point is 00:24:11 We should. We should pay him. Oh, yeah. What would we have him do? What could he do on the bike that would be yak-ish? Have him just watch the show while biking? This must have been his pivot to food influencing. This is smart.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Yeah, because he was getting so much negative feedback. I want to see his moves, his tricks. It's not enough for you, Kyle? Oh, let's go. Yeah, that one looks fat ass do it. Oh, that's sick. That's the coolest thing ever. All right, that's what I wanted.
Starting point is 00:24:40 That's what I wanted. That's what my fat ass wanted to see. I think I'd scream. Imagine being that guy. Oh, man. He's so good at riding bikes. No. No way he's catching it.
Starting point is 00:24:58 No way he's catching it. What a Studebaker. He's posting his line. It's good. Yeah, you got to post the Ls. Win some, you lose some. I love how he was angry at that dude. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:25:15 He's in D.C. Wow, nice. Dude, he's so good at biking. Have you guys ever been able to do the wheelie like that? No. Pretty easy. I never was able to hold one, but you just put the bike on the lowest gear, and then you just pedal really fast, and it goes up.
Starting point is 00:25:34 No way. You have to pull it, and then you pedal really fast. I'm not. I never even tried it. I used to try it all the time. See, they're on, like, a very low gear. There you go. Would you ride in a store?
Starting point is 00:25:49 Totally. Oh, you wouldn't. Of course I would. I've rip-stickered. Okay. Rip-sticking is awesome. I was a great rip-sticker. What?
Starting point is 00:26:01 Rip-stick. I don't believe you. I was. Is it the thing? It's the two-wheeled. Ripsticking is easy. Especially on a floor like this. If we got a ripstick in here, I would never stop.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Any of those things fuck me up so bad. Yeah, I couldn't do it. First time I ever went on a skateboard, I just hit the curb and broke my wrist. Broke your wrist? Yeah. Never again. I was always a great boarder. I could never do any tricks, though.
Starting point is 00:26:25 I can just cruise. Board right there. Prove it. Been talking a lot of shit. I was great at that. I was great at running from the cops. Keep it safe, dude. I was so good at that.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Enough's enough. What do you want to see me do? You're a kickflip. I told you I can't do any tricks. You're a good cruise. Cruise down the hall. You want to see me cruise down the hall? That's a good cruise.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Hands in your pockets. I'm not going to be able to balance and have my hands in my pockets. Well, if you're a good cruiser, cruise down the hall. I'll cruise down the hall. I mean, it's not going to be, like, entertaining. You said you're good at it. With this board? It's not going to be cool.
Starting point is 00:27:00 This board doesn't have the right grip. You just talked so much shit. Of course I'll be able to cruise. That was perfect. Yeah, dude, I can cruise. That's a cruiser. That is literally a cruiser. It's called a cruiser, I think.
Starting point is 00:27:15 He's like, this board sucks. You just started talking to Luke. Go the other way. Oh, he wants to go that way. He's going cruise What if he just left? That would have been such a great move If he left and didn't come back
Starting point is 00:27:34 Oh, he is a good cruiser I don't think so, because we didn't see him push There was a little wobble He wasn't great A little wobble there, buddy Let's see it again That wasn't great I was saying it A little wobble there, buddy. Let's see it again. That wasn't great.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Yeah. I was saying it would have been funny if you just walked down the hall and never came back. Because you don't know how to skateboard. Yeah, you guys caught me. In my cruise look. Can I see a replay of that? The trucks were very loose. I was not expecting them to be so loose.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Yeah, I noticed that when I was on the board the other day. I did a pretty clean U there. Oh, yeah. Super loose. I was not expecting them to be so loose. Yeah, I noticed that when I was on the board the other day. I did a pretty clean U there. Oh, yeah. Super loose. Great cruise. Super loose. The angles kind of fucked me up. No one wants to believe, you know? No one wants to believe that I have any sort of talent. I believe in you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Red Bull gives me wings. It's over. Who do we think in the office couldn't cruise? Me. Try. You guys could easily cruise. You guys could easily. I don't think.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Cruising is so easy to do. You don't escape. No way I can cruise. A hundred percent could. I posted once and everybody was like, oh, and the DMs, you're a goofy foot. You're a goofy foot. What is that? That means you're pushed with your left foot.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Yeah. I thought that was Mongo. That's Mongo. That's when you push with your front foot. Yeah. I thought that was Mongo. That's Mongo. That's when you push with your front foot. Apparently this was an embarrassing thing. Yeah, I'll try after you. Pushing Mongo's nuts. Yeah, I don't know how people do that without it popping up.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Don't hurt yourself, Big Cat. No, it's just going to wind up being super easy. He's going to be good. Going the wrong way? He's not. That board's way too small for him. Oh, I don't... He's going to be good. Going the wrong way? He's not. That board's way too small for him. Oh, I don't... He's going to get hurt.
Starting point is 00:29:09 See, you can't do that. You need to have the momentum. Not a bad cruise. No, it's not a bad... So far. That's got to break. Oh! See, that was easy.
Starting point is 00:29:26 That was easy, though. You did almost kickflip. Nikki, can you kickflip? On escape? Probably not anymore. Who's he? Yeah, you can. Do it.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Do something. Do it. Do something. Do something. I can't. Something. Give us something. I can't do anything.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Do something crazy. Didn't we just have, who was on here and we were like, come back and do a kickflip? Yeah. Can we have him come in and do something cool? Then we're going to talk to him for like a minute. Fair enough. I like fish. Ah, Nicky.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Nicky's nice with it. That's a cruise. What is different about his cruise than my cruise? That's what you thought you were doing there. I was going ten times faster than him. I was flying. Nick looks like a natural. I almost broke the sound barrier with my cruise.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Here he comes again. Here he comes again. Fly as hell. Fly as hell. Look at that. Look at that. Dude, my boy is nice with it. It disappears.
Starting point is 00:30:25 He's really cruising. What a cool... Oh, no, he's with it. It disappears. Really cruising. What a cool... Oh, no, he's carrying it. Oh, yeah. Wow. That was a clean-ass cruise. Looks awesome. We want it.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Clean-ass cruise. Whew. We saw the hands in the pockets. It was a cool look. That's what Sass thought he looked like. Yeah. Sass was wobbling. I was not wobbling.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Oh, yes, you were. Then how else would you know the trucks were loose? I was not wobbling Oh yes you were Then how else would you know the trucks were loose? I was trying to get my turns You didn't hear a Nicky saying anything about the trucks Nicky wasn't making hard turns like I was What? He did a full U It's a lot easier when you're going one mile per hour I was going fucking
Starting point is 00:30:58 I pushed 50 You were doing a canter You were galloping You looked awesome Somebody else put their hands in their pockets and just go You could do it You were doing a canter. You were galloping. You looked awesome. Somebody else put their hands in the pockets and just go. You could do it. I can't even stay on.
Starting point is 00:31:11 You like me? I've got to be the worst. No. But you just had no... You're the worst? I could be the worst. Want to try? We were saying that about you when you were in... We were calling you sneaky on athletic.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Nothing sneaky about it. We were calling you sneaky on athletic. Nothing sneaky about it. We were calling you. No, we were like, when we first met Rome, we were like, that guy could probably play some sports. But then we cleaned it up and we're like, he has the best fits. It's the rap. People think that like, oh, rap. You could play basketball or something.
Starting point is 00:31:40 You also look in shape. So, like, you see it and you're like, that guy's in shape. It's a natural lack of... Well, there's Alex and Jordan. Alex had an announcement yesterday. Yeah, I watched it. Hell of a video. Strong video.
Starting point is 00:31:56 What was the announcement? Rave video. Oh, it was like empty. It was like a Where's Graham update. Yeah, she... She doesn't know where he is? No, apparently he's straight up missing. She and Carl should run for president together.
Starting point is 00:32:07 They would do a good job just never saying anything. Talking? Just talking? Oh, yeah. She said they're going through some stuff. She said they're trying to... They're going through something. Keep that to yourself.
Starting point is 00:32:19 I don't understand the need to address everything in your life. No. That's something I would just never... Every comment asked me about it, though, I hit a point. Yeah, the internet was... I said you're in like a public... I didn't know what she did. understand the need to address everything in your life. That's something I would just never... She started saying, where's Graham? She did the hashtag, where's Graham? I think she was trying to have fun with it because she was getting piled on so hard and then finally
Starting point is 00:32:35 she's like, fuck it. This guy can probably do something on a board. My boy Evan. He does. He has a very chill walk. Evan's a good dude. He does our YouTube. Evan. He does. He has a very chill walk. Evan's a good dude. He does our YouTube. Nice. I think I'm...
Starting point is 00:32:49 You got him. I'd like to see him. Give a swallow. You good? Oh, damn it. He tried to swallow. All right, Sporkle. She called us mother truckers in the video.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I like that. Epipedra. What was the, for what? Respect the dudes, too, responding, being like, if you really are broken up, like, we could fuck. Yeah. Oh. It's really cool. Oh.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Oh. Yeah. That was actually pretty impressive. Oh. You, smooth. smooth you know what was one of the funniest moments on the act was when the first case race who was it that fell Che Che fell running to the bathroom I think about that all the time
Starting point is 00:33:39 that was such a funny clip one of my favorites is KB tackling that dummy and his legs oh yeah he's fully in the air was such a funny clip. One of my favorites is KB tackling that dummy and his legs. Oh, yeah. He's fully in the air. Dude, I almost died. Good energy by KB. You know what I could see KB doing pretty well?
Starting point is 00:34:00 Riding in on his stomach. Oh, yeah. Like flying down his head. Holy shit. That was a laugh. Oh, look. There's our singer. He has a new song for us today. Does he?
Starting point is 00:34:13 Yeah. Why do you start out so smooth and then you lean all the way back? Oh! All right, B. God damn. Steve. Steve.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Steve can cruise so hard. Steve grew up cruising. Steve, you can cruise. Steve, you're straight cruise life. By the way it slipped out from under me, my heart's like... I know. It's so scary. Very scary. That's a good guy. Yeah, my heart's like so scared. Very scary.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Jax is a guy. Yeah, I don't know. Nick is the guy. I did it with my hands. I am the guy. I'm the guy. I don't know. Nick is the guy.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Oh, Nick was the guy. I need to redeem myself. I'm going to have to rip another cruise real quick. You won't. No, I won't. Booze. Booze cruise? Oh, booze cruise.
Starting point is 00:35:03 I bet you TJ Cruz is. Hell no. What? Is that a soundboard? I got a skateboard and Heelys back-to-back birthdays one year. Fell off of them once each and then just stopped riding them. Heelys are the best. This would be a great floor for Heelys.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Never knew how to Heely. Heelys are awesome. I could never quite get the hang of it. I might order some Heelys. Oh, Booze is sturdy. He's a are awesome. I could never quite get the hang of it. I might order some Heelys. Oh, Booze is sturdy. He's a sturdy guy. There he goes.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah, the push-off is scary, Ronite. We can't. We're not meant for skateboarding. Definitely not. Look at him. A longboard, maybe. He just avoided the chair. That essentially is a longboard. No, no.
Starting point is 00:35:42 A real longboard. Greer's been making longboard content on TikTok. He has, yeah. I need like a fucking surfboard. I used to have a pennyboard and I would fly around on that thing. That was awesome. Like the back of a truck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Flatbed. I could sit on that. Like the dude, the video of the guy coming out of the coffin? Yeah. That type of thing. Yeah. That video was awesome for a while, like three years ago. It's still awesome.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Yeah. It is. But I haven't seen anyone recirculate it since Musk bought Twitter. The lawn boarding community was a lot more relaxed than the skateboarding community. Is that true? The skateboarding community was a very, very hostile environment. Remember when I went and bought a skateboard? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Worse, though. They're mean. They kind of go into the store. Skate shops, I don't know. Yeah, you go in to buy something, and they're like, what the fuck are you doing in here? Yeah. What's your fucking deal, bro? What's your angle?
Starting point is 00:36:38 I feel like I'd be afraid to go to a skate park for the first few times. Oh, yeah. I'd be like, it's super intimidating. Skaters are such gossipy little girls, too. None of them are doing anything. They're all just standing and sitting. Especially the most popular, hottest guy probably can't even skate that good,
Starting point is 00:36:54 but he's so good at gossip. Their sticky girlfriends are always sitting down on the ramp. My boy Kyle Huggins, he was hot, the best skater, humble as hell, but he did have a sticky girlfriend, Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. He was hot, the best skater, humble as hell. But he did have a sticky girlfriend from Maryland and Ropiers. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Dude, skiing, the skiing community too, I remember when I used to, I used to want to go over the jumps when I would ski and they all just sit at the top. Like, none of them
Starting point is 00:37:17 are going off the jumps but they all just sit there. At the top of the jump. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like, you guys suck. to like, drop in. And they all just stand there
Starting point is 00:37:24 and like, talk shit about shit about who's going up. What's up, brother? Who's that? Fucking Tom. That's too much umbrella. Yeah, it's the extendo. Yeah, not like my boy KB who keeps a little pocket rocket. Little thang.
Starting point is 00:37:47 A little drink accessory. Derringer. Kyle does it for the sunlight though. A parasol. Yeah. Like a Japanese lady.
Starting point is 00:37:54 A Japanese lady. He has the fan. Who is this guy? Why is he taking our video? He's probably doing an audit on us. Does he work for Barstool? I don't know. He's probably doing an audit on us Does he work for Barstool?
Starting point is 00:38:06 I don't know He's probably doing an audit I'm gonna have to beat this guy's fucking ass right now That's what he looks like I know Saskia beat his fucking ass I'm gonna have to give this guy a jump We should beat someone up
Starting point is 00:38:19 Doesn't give someone a jump mean that you try to fuck someone? Try to fuck them yeah We just beat the fuck out of someone in the middle of the Yaks studio? Invite them in here and... That Crips initiation video? Yeah. Fight back. Fight back.
Starting point is 00:38:32 The Proud Boys. Proud Boys. They have to name cereals? I've never seen that. Oh, you haven't? No. You find that DJ? It's so goofy.
Starting point is 00:38:40 What is it? They have to keep yelling out cereals the entire time they're getting beat? Yeah. Once they name enough cereals. Are you worried that like Stella Blue could become like the drink of an organization that you don't want to be affiliated with? That'd be good. They all start loving Stella Blue. Black Israelites or something like that?
Starting point is 00:38:57 Yeah. They're buying it all. Like, oh man, I just had the fucking medium roast this morning. Got me in the right mood to protest. I'm down for that. That would be awesome. That would be huge for the brand.
Starting point is 00:39:10 Yeah. I mean, did a lot for Black Rifle. True, Black Rifle took off. Milk. Remember when milk was? Milk had a,
Starting point is 00:39:17 yeah. What was milk? Milk was Nazis. Very controversial. Nazis were milk people? Yeah. White supremacists were. They didn't claim milk.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yeah, no, they tried. Oh, they did. I was like, oh, it's milk problematic. That girl that shit herself, someone posted a video being like, milk is for white supremacists, and then she posted a video chugging a gallon of milk. Yeah. Which was badass. What happened to her?
Starting point is 00:39:38 Caitlin Bennett. She got married. Yeah, she kind of fell off. Yeah, I haven't seen her in a while. Poop girl. She got married to a gay man, right? Oh, yeah. I completely forgot about her.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Those are good. I think she did. I think she did. I remember. Put a baby in her. Yep. There's two things gay men love to do. Fuck dudes and get women pregnant.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Yeah. They love making out with chicks. They love making out with chicks. And paupers. You guys ever done paupers? Yeah. Of course. Remember Cole LaBrantha. Yeah. They love making out with chicks. They love making out with chicks. And poppers. You guys ever done poppers? Yeah. Of course. Remember Cole LaBrantha like tweeted
Starting point is 00:40:10 just lost just got married just lost my virginity. Yeah. Marriage wrong. Did you know him somehow? No I just Who was the guy that you
Starting point is 00:40:17 who was the guy that you know? Kind of looks like Cole LaBrantha. TikTok guy that does the dances. You know exactly he used to send me his videos all the time. I don't know him. He just went to Kent State. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Oh, yeah. He sucked. He's the best. I wonder what he's up to. But he tweeted again, like, just made out with my wife for seven hours. That was him? That was Cole Brandt? No, I saw that picture.
Starting point is 00:40:39 It might have been Photoshopped. I just saw the picture. I had no idea that was Cole Brandt. Yeah, that's him. Made out with his wife for seven hours? I applaud him. He's authentic. We went out with this guy that we don't really know.
Starting point is 00:40:52 We know of. Like when I first moved into New York. And he was trying to brag to us that he sucked his girlfriend's nipples for two hours. I remember that. I remember that. That was your boy. What do you mean trying to brag? That's just press feed.
Starting point is 00:41:03 You brought him out with us. I did. That's press feed. He was a gummy trying to brag? That's just press for you. You brought him out with us. I did. That's press for you. He was a gummy cluster. Yeah, that's very not fair. Welcome up. You got a song for us? Talking that mic, talking that mic.
Starting point is 00:41:15 We're on bars, not R&B. We're on bars, but I want to sing about God. Okay. All right. Yeah. I put my mind into it. Praise right now, brother. Check it out.
Starting point is 00:41:28 This is real talk. Put it together. Thank y'all for giving me the opportunity. Hear me? My God is so good. God is so good. I pray every night, night and day. I woke up this morning.
Starting point is 00:41:43 I woke up this morning. Every day, every night. Every day, every night. I woke up this morning. I woke up this morning. Every day, every night. Every day, every night. I still change my life. Change my life. Everything is all right. Everything is all right. I'm on my knees at night.
Starting point is 00:41:55 On your knees at night. Everything is all right. Oh, no, look at me. Everything is all right. My God is right here now. You got a feeling right here now. Oh, my God is so good. I used to run them hoods.
Starting point is 00:42:12 But he changed my life. He changed my life. My heart at night. My heart at night. Everything is all right. Everything is all right. I still change my life. I still change my life.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Now I'm eating right now. Right life. Now I'm eating right now. Right now. Now I'm looking good now. Now I'm looking good now. Everything is alright. Everything is alright. Got love and it's right. Got love and it's right.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Yeah! Legend. Alright. Good shit. Good shit, Mr. Sparky. Yeah. Sparky, the legend. Where can everybody find your stuff?
Starting point is 00:42:49 I'll just be home. Oh, that's just your thing? Right here on the yak. Right here on the yak. That's right. Hey, how's Ebony doing out there? I'm singing about her, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:58 What's that sound like? Sing it out. Ebony's looking fine. She's on the fire. I get up from behind. What's your favorite thing about Ebony? The way she looks The way she carries herself Check it out
Starting point is 00:43:12 I wrote this too for Ebony Ebony you know it I'm feeling you like Butter and toast baby Check it out Ebony Please Please
Starting point is 00:43:28 Please come home Ebony come home I'm just all alone Ebony come home I said please come home Ebony come home But naked all alone Oh, shut it up
Starting point is 00:43:41 Naked all alone Ebony. Whoa. Yeah. It's out there. It's out there. Now she knows how you feel. Yep.
Starting point is 00:43:50 At least she knows. All right, thank you, Mrs. Sparky. Yes. I like that. Ebony is all right. Ebony is all right.
Starting point is 00:43:59 She's naked and home. Naked and home. Oh, she's naked and home. Naked and home. Oh, she's naked and home. Look at Ebony's face. Ebony's on that shit. Ebony's like, you better not have been saying that naked song about me again. And she's going to let him hit. You're running away.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Do that naked song. I told you, stop. I let him fuck today. We might have to make that the new theme song to the show. I still changed my life. That was good. Changed my life. That was awesome.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Let's do that again. Awesome, Sass. What the hell? You sounded like Isaac Hayes. He's the church, Seth. Take us, take us one time. Hell no. I still change my life.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Change my life. That was awesome. That was so funny. You don't hear that type of song anymore. I know. Straight from the soul. That was like Muddy Waters. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:10 From the day I was born. The day I was born. I'm a grown man. I'm a full grown man. That style. That's the style. That is the style. Nobody's doing that style anymore.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Fucking Johnny Lee Hooker. Fucking B.B. King type of shit. Maybe you want to like stand outside of a store and be like snapping along. Yeah. You guys do a quick do-lop. Do a quick, who's going to be the
Starting point is 00:45:39 who's the deep voice guy? Who's the super high pitched guy? You want to do it again? Do it. Hell no. Don't put your light under a bushel. Stay in my lane. I see your art.
Starting point is 00:45:53 That's what fucking Vonnegut said, man. Be creating something every day. Totally. Do some singing, man. Totally. I still change my life. Oh, out of order tonight. Change my life
Starting point is 00:46:05 It's 7 o'clock No we're not gonna watch it Unless you give us another bar Well I already gave my bars up But uh Alright can we just replay When he sang it earlier A bunch of times
Starting point is 00:46:15 You were the one that was spitting Yeah Was that in a loop What did you say about Ebony Rowan was adding tags I don't know if you guys caught it I was just trying to What did you say
Starting point is 00:46:24 I was just trying to give him some extra. What did you say? Something about him fucking her. Yeah, it was funny. You know what you said. You know what you said. Have my knees on that shit. Have my knees on that shit.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Won't you please let me hit? Yeah, please. All those songs, they're about dudes getting on their hands and knees. I'm on my knees, begging. That's what they used to do. All they would do is beg. Like flick a dime. Come on, love me right.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Like army crawling. That's a reply guy. That's a reply guy. That's a reply guy. It's like, I'd crawl through glass to suck a fart out of your ass. The original reply guy was the guy that would put his coat in a puddle for a change. Oh, yeah. What was that about? He wins the coat in a puddle. That was counterproductive.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Ram needs to make a video like that. Alex. Alex needs to make a video like that. Baby, come home. I'm begging you, please. I'd suck a fart out of your ass. You know I'm the best lover for all y'all mother truckers. Like ten dudes in the background snapping and humming.
Starting point is 00:47:40 She got the thunder to talk about. Lou Dort. It's a good idea. Baby, please come home. There it is. Oh, my God. Okay, now watch out for it is. Oh, my God. Okay, now watch Out of Order tonight. Very excited.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Good episode or what? Great episode. Make us behind the scenes of some shit, Tess. Yeah, it should be fun. We recorded, I think it's, I don't know if it's four or five sketches. I know the four, We recorded three in one day at this place in Brooklyn. It was pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:48:29 It was just like a big-ass building with just different sets. That is cool. Like, each room. One of them was like a courtroom, one of them was an interrogation room, and then one of them was like a hospital room. Was it the Navy Yards?
Starting point is 00:48:40 I don't know. No, it was some random-ass place. Isn't that makeup look good as fuck? Yeah. I did that by myself. I did that in the mirror just looking in the mirror you did that yeah
Starting point is 00:48:48 who's that Batman Fights it was hilarious because I had like a realistic Joker costume and Fights was wearing like a child
Starting point is 00:48:57 a baggy baggy neck it was literally a one piece like the gloves were a part of the arms did you drop it on the Joker It was literally a one piece. Like the gloves were a part of the arms. Did you drop an I'm the Joker?
Starting point is 00:49:10 No. That sucks so bad. Not even like for a social? People are waiting for it. Joke, baby. We've got to figure out what our next case race situation is going to be. Everybody does something different. Every person for themselves.
Starting point is 00:49:28 You could do every person for themselves. I think we should combine a case race and a draft. Ooh! Love that! I would love a draft. Or like CASE race. Yeah, and we'd be more loose and willing to eat some shit.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Yeah, because you'll be hammered. It'll be funnier. Yeah, it's a good draft. I love that. So what do we have that week? We have Monday we're doing the case race. Monday night we're doing the case race. What is Tuesday?
Starting point is 00:49:55 I think we're going to Stu's house. TB Determined. TBD. And then Wednesday, Barstool. We're going to Boston. Choppers? No. Why?
Starting point is 00:50:06 Pete said you wouldn't be there in time. In a chopper? We're currently planning to do the show in Boston. I want the choppers. I want choppers as well, if that has any sway. Who's put down sass for one chopper, please? Wait, wait. Yeah, sass signed off on it, too. Let him know sass asked for one chopper Please Wait Yeah Sass signed off
Starting point is 00:50:25 On it too Let him know Sass Sass for the chopper We really want the choppers Yeah Choppers would go brave Sing for it I gotta know
Starting point is 00:50:36 What we can advance So I gotta get out of van Why don't you just get The out of van regardless It's out of van Be ready It's like a benzo For choppers The choppers We should case race Into the choppers get the Ativan regardless. It's Ativan. Be ready. It's like a Benzo.
Starting point is 00:50:46 For choppers? The choppers. We should case race into the choppers. That would be awesome. Then we'd have to all pee and piss off the chopper. Yeah. I'm not taking a chopper.
Starting point is 00:50:54 You're taking a chopper. I'll give you one of my Ativans and you'll be like, I want to get a chopper. I don't think you understand how big of a pussy I am. No, I'm pretty aware of it. You haven't seen a bit.
Starting point is 00:51:05 I know the man who goes to the airport eight hours early. I'm taking the train up. The train is so long. It's like four hours. Do we have the backpack, TJ? Nope. Damn. Do a yak from the train in the quiet car?
Starting point is 00:51:22 That'd be awesome. They're very strict about the quiet car. That would be awesome. They're very strict about the quiet car. Frank, the tank and I got yelled at on one. Frank was on the quiet car? Yes. I didn't realize we were on the quiet car and I tried small talk with him and I asked him something and he
Starting point is 00:51:37 went off and this old lady stood up and was like we both... Frank, it was the first time I've seen him stunned into silence. They take it very seriously. I would not like to see Frank get scolded. Because he usually fights back. Chris Christie got kicked off the quiet car one time with his whole campaign. Eating too loud?
Starting point is 00:51:57 Yeah, exactly. Munching. His tits were flapping too loud. He definitely chews his mouth open. You guys see new Biden video dropped? Oh, no. Was it him sleeping? He's like half sleeping, half talking in a meeting.
Starting point is 00:52:12 The Iceland one was awesome, where he's like, I'm in Ireland. I was thinking of my home country. Thinking of home. No, no. You caught me on a Freudian slip. I was thinking of home. The one today was the guy who he's meeting with was like, he's about to die. And they just kept on going.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Hang on. Look at this. Oh, my God. Is he praying? Or he's trying to talk? Look at this guy. He's like, oh. Is he talking to me?
Starting point is 00:52:42 Oh, my God. And as I affirmed to Prime Minister... Is he reading off his lap? He's got to be reading. He's reading a paper off his lap. That makes more sense. At what point for him... I think he's just taking a quick nap.
Starting point is 00:52:57 At what point are they like, you can't, you got to go. Like, you can't do this anymore. You just can't be in public. You can't be the president anymore. Or like, Nancy Reagan did that for Ronald Reagan, right? I feel like the white... Yeah, the weird, uh... Uh...
Starting point is 00:53:08 Like... Wasn't someone reading astrology and making decisions behind the scenes? Yeah, but it was working. Yeah. But, uh... That's why I think Jill needs to quit fucking the Secret Service. Dr. Jill? Yeah, Dr. Jill needs to start pulling the strings.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Someone needs to. Yeah, like, at a certain point, they'd be like, we're gonna have Kamala step in. Like, this is getting out of control. Hey, bro, it's Kamala. All right, show some respect. Sorry. She's your first lady.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Sounds like you're hoping for that. You could just assassinate him. I don't really play around about that kind of shit. I don't really fuck around about assassinating the leader of the free world. You just have to like push him lightly down the stairs.
Starting point is 00:53:48 You gotta like hide around a corner. Shane has that bit about like going hey Mr. President a bunch of assassinations. Can you find the Ireland one TJ? Where he's like
Starting point is 00:54:00 in Iceland but he like mistakenly calls it Ireland. That's easy. But there's like a class of older Irish-Americans who refer to Ireland as their home country. That's like... Motherland.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Yeah, it's very weird. The Ireland video is awesome. Which one? The one where they bring him out. He's in WWE. Oh, yeah. Because he acts like he was like actually born in Ireland. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:27 He probably thinks he was. The Minister of Cobra, the daughter of Ireland. The daughter of Ireland. You can tell that's a 40-year slip. I'm thinking of home. He actually cleaned that up pretty quickly. And I want to say I think we've had a very productive summit. Is he?
Starting point is 00:54:45 He's running again? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. How? I can't wait. I would love to see him in, what, five years from now? What? What?
Starting point is 00:54:53 He's not. He would die for sure. What? He's not making it five years, is he? Well, if he wins again, he speeches in five years. That'd be funny. Do you think it's Jill encouraging him because she just wants him out of the house? She's like, run again.
Starting point is 00:55:08 He's going to turn into the Shoshone Arrowhead. When was the last time someone didn't run again? Carter, maybe? Ford? Did he not run or he lost? Oh, he lost to Reagan. But he didn't run again, though. Lyndon B. Johnson maybe didn't?
Starting point is 00:55:24 Max. but he didn't run again though Lyndon B. Johnson maybe didn't Gerald Ford was never elected so maybe he didn't run again because he was like he replaced the vice president of Nixon and then replaced Nixon wasn't Truman he like got it
Starting point is 00:55:44 he has no chance, right? Or does he? He definitely has a chance because it's like. I guess it's like a defense mechanism. It's also just like there's not. You should just elect him. I'd vote for him out of curiosity. I would, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Or a bit curiosity, yeah. He's going to get. Ruffy B. Run for second. Truman. Truman. Wow. Wasn't there that president who got sick at the inauguration because it was cold?
Starting point is 00:56:13 Harrison? Yeah, that's going to be him. Yeah. Yeah. Going to choke on ice cream. Sprinkle. Every day is... Drown in his coffee.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Chocolate, chocolate chip. Those last words. Chocolate chip. I think I choked on a chocolate chip. I mean, there's worse things to have happen when you're old than just be thinking about ice cream all the time. That kind of rules. Every day is ice cream day.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Every day is ice cream day. Every day is ice cream day. He's trying to eat little children. Come here. Come here, you cone. I mean, he's getting close to that. He did it the other day. Yeah. Tried to lick a little kid.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Scratch and sniff. Scratch and sniff. All right, High Noon. High Noon. Let me talk about High Noon. Pat Bev couldn't stop talking about the High Noon. That was a scary moment. It was.
Starting point is 00:57:18 I felt a little. Yeah, he keeps it a little bit too funky. But honestly, with a great product like High Noon, I welcome anyone to be honest as hell when they try High Noon because it's so darn good, especially the tequila seltzer. And if you're a tequila lover who's never satisfied with those malt hard seltzer offerings, which in my estimation, significantly worse, you're going to want to go ahead and try High Noon tequila seltzer. It's gluten-free, so a guy like Nick can suck them down with impunity. And there's only 100 calories,
Starting point is 00:57:52 so every time you're cracking into a high noon tequila seltzer, you can feel good about yourself. It's a nice, clean taste that's perfect for the outdoors. You're headed to the beach. You're out in a beautiful Chicago summertime on Lake Michigan or the Chicago River having a nice float. Well, bring some high noons to float along with you. They got a bunch of good flavors. You know that I don't leave home without a pocket full of the grapefruits. And that's in the tequila flavor. Big Cat's always talking about the strawberries. Nick's always talking about the limes.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Oh, I'm a grapefruit man. Grapefruit. So am I. I know. Oh, wow. Okay, so that's my mistake. Maybe because I like the limes so much too. You really can't go wrong.
Starting point is 00:58:37 You reach into that High Noon box, you're just about guaranteed to enjoy it. So look for them at Drizzly or at your local or convenience, your convenience or liquor store, or you can visit highnoonspirits.com to find some sweet, delicious highnoons near you. Get you some. Locked again. Locked again. Don't trust us.
Starting point is 00:58:59 I was taking them to drink. I was too. What do they want to be done with them, Mike? Or was someone bad taking them to drink? I was too. What do they want to be done with them? Or was someone bad taking them? We were just taking too many. We were drinking our supply dry, I think. But that's great marketing.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Yeah, they were so good we literally couldn't keep the fridge stocked. How is that not good? I'll tell you as a kid. Can we guess? It's Pete. Well, technically. Ebony? No.
Starting point is 00:59:29 It's the Pete crew. Oh, the Pete crew. Today's his birthday. Happy birthday, TGA. Happy birthday, TGA. TGA. TGA. It's your birthday today.
Starting point is 00:59:42 It's a dumb question. KBN, Sasser, you're wearing the same. Aren't you home and naked? Outfits as yesterday? Yeah, I had to run this shirt back for the Ortega. Yeah, I had to run this one back. I was sitting here, and I'm like, am I having deja vu, or did they both wear this? Very unique shirt.
Starting point is 01:00:00 You're right. I love the shirt. The shirt's just comfortable. Fucking with my head. I was like, oh, is this a joke? Are they all wearing the same thing as yesterday? Oh, no. Just those two.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Why are you guys doing that? Because I don't really have a lot of clothes. And I was like, yeah, this shirt is comfortable. And I was like, I'm going to wear it again. I love this shirt. And we have recorded our podcast. I want to be in it. Fair enough.
Starting point is 01:00:21 I want to be comfortable. A smell. It smells? Like your body odor? A little bit. These type of, this material,. You want to be comfortable. It does smell. It smells? Like your body odor? A little bit. These type of, this material, it's easy to stink up. Yeah, I know. I remember that from like... Not too bad. Yeah. Alright, just
Starting point is 01:00:34 checking. I didn't wear this shirt yesterday. I wore it on Monday. Oh, okay. And I wore it to my show yesterday. I like it. It stuck, it like stuck in my mind. You're on three days in a row. I wore it for like a couple hours yesterday. It's a good shirt. And then I took it off, went to bed. I like it. It stuck in my mind. Three days in a row. I wore it for a couple hours yesterday. It's a good shirt. And then I took it off. Went to bed. Sleep shirtless.
Starting point is 01:00:50 I'm too self-conscious to sleep shirtless. Hell no. I just take it off right before I'm falling asleep. So I don't have to be lying there shirtless the entire time. But as I'm dozing, I'll just whip it off. Real quick. I put it on right before I get up. Right before I wake up. Right before I wake up.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Slip back into it. We had a hot show last night. Hyping hot. You and Colm? Colm was out of town. So I had to take the reins, run it solo. You ran the whole show? Hosted in headlines?
Starting point is 01:01:20 I wasn't even supposed to. I hosted. I did like 10 minutes off the top. Barned up everyone. Then the last guy was late. So I had to give off the top. Parted up everyone. Then the last guy was late, so I had to give him another 15. I had to bless him with another 15. Probably loved it.
Starting point is 01:01:32 His ass is heating up. Are you spicing up the intro when you ask people where they're from? Yeah, I had to do that. You got to do all that stuff because you got to get the crowd. What did you hit him with? Anyone here not from New York? Stuff like that. Has anyone ever got funny with you?
Starting point is 01:01:49 Yeah, people try to. Yeah. Girls. Girls? Nobody's ever fucking owned you? In Huntsville, someone told me to, they said, bless your heart. Not the first person. Oh, that's a fuck you. I was like, oh, thank you.
Starting point is 01:02:06 Yeah. And they explained it to me, and they were like, no, that's not what it means. Yeah, it means you're a fucking... They were also, like, joking around. Yeah. You need to find God. Yeah. That's what they were saying.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Yeah. Going to hell. Pretty much. That guy's going to be like Sugar Man Oh yeah He's going platinum He's platinum He just didn't even know it Micken I'm surprised you don't listen to Rodriguez
Starting point is 01:02:38 Who is it? Rodriguez Rodriguez Oh Sugar Man Yeah I need to You'd like him a lot Rodriguez. Rodriguez. Oh. Sugar Man? Yeah, I need to. You'd like him a lot.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Sugar, he's talking about cocaine. Type of music? It's like folk. Okay. Yeah. I'm in. It's very good. Yeah. One of my favorites.
Starting point is 01:02:59 He's still out there making music? No, he hasn't made an album in probably 50 years, but he's got like two albums. They're both very good. Okay. His documentary, I think it's on Amazon Prime. It's really, really good. I think it's called Searching for Sugar Man. Okay, I'm in.
Starting point is 01:03:18 When they make those, does Sugar Man, does he get paid? I don't know. The whole story is insane. Like I think while they were making the documentary, they were under the assumption that he was dead. We're not paying monkey boy a penny. Yeah, true.
Starting point is 01:03:33 And then out of nowhere, they were like, no, he's alive. He just like is a painter in Detroit. Ron's been stealing my fucking dudes. I know. Dude,
Starting point is 01:03:43 uh, do you want to know what, even what Nick said about you behind your back? He said, fuck that fucking fuck about you. I know. Dude, do you want to know even what Neek said about you behind your back? He said, fuck that fucking fuck about you. I didn't.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I have a text here. Yeah, he stole Neeko from me. He stole my back. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Fuck that fucking guy. Fuck that fucking guy. No one wants, you offered me Deco day one.
Starting point is 01:03:59 I was like, no. I know. But also we're stealing Stinky Tony for Tyler's lawsuit. Yeah, I know. What? Yeah. Tyler's lawsuit. Yeah, I know. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Tyler's been living in squalor. Tyler's ceiling fell off. Yeah, suing his landlord or some shit. Well, it was a big deal. He was renting his apartment from this lady. He was under the impression that that was his landlord. And then out of nowhere, a pack of dudes just walked into his apartment. And they were like, who the fuck are you?
Starting point is 01:04:29 And he was like, I live here. And they were like, you're not supposed to be living here. And apparently that lady was subletting it or something and was pretending to be a landlord. Something crazy like that. There's more to it. There's been a saga for it. Juicy. There's juicy, dirty details of it. She was like... She's like a... He's like a actress. There's juicy, dirty details of it.
Starting point is 01:04:45 She was like a doctor. Yeah. And then the ceiling fell apart? The ceiling fell apart a while ago. That's just bonus. Yeah. And then she was also charging him like $1,000 more than she was supposed to. What a racket.
Starting point is 01:05:01 For a month. I mean, if Stinky Tony can litigate, he should be getting like five figs, made five figs, low five figs. Because he's been
Starting point is 01:05:10 like crying in his arms. Because she won't have the money to pay. Yeah. She would like call him and be like, let's go get a drink. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:05:17 like call him sobbing. Yeah, crying, being like, my boyfriend just left me. You have to go out. Isn't she also blind? She's blind in one eye,
Starting point is 01:05:24 I think. I could see with it. It's a medical term. You have to go out. Isn't she also blind? She's blind in one eye, I think. I could see with it. It's a medical. Yeah, wonky eye. Nothing worse than having the wonky eye. Rick Riley was on PMT today? Yeah. No way.
Starting point is 01:05:38 We've had him on before. He gets very political. Does he? Yeah. Which way? Immediately. Talking about Ireland? No, he's like, I hope he? Yeah. Which way? Immediately. Talking about Ireland? No, he's like, I hope everyone who joined Liv dies a fiery death.
Starting point is 01:05:50 We're like, whoa. What the hell? I kind of like Brooks. What the hell? But I just used to read him so much when I was a youth. He's figured it out perfectly because i brought this up to him like he he reached that point where he was getting kind of like mocked because he was so popular and then he was getting mocked because he had that big deal with espn but he's he retired and he lives half the year in
Starting point is 01:06:17 italy and half the year in san diego wow that's awesome that's like what like two blue zones yeah yeah that's awesome and he also like walked away like right before the mocking got really bad. And right before the internet, because he was like a print media legend. And so if he was trying to like ride out the internet. But didn't he do so? Didn't he have some weird or like he was like trying to tweet early on or something? Well, he had. So he left Sports Illustrated at the right time as well before that fell apart.
Starting point is 01:06:44 And then I think there was claims that he was, that kid's like 12 years old. Yeah, we had him in, remember? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's so young we're not allowed to acknowledge his existence because of child labor loss. Shocking, every time he walks by. He's in KFC Studios sewing Nikes. A little boy. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:07:04 That's like a kid that would go to school with my son. Literally. Yeah, so he left Sports Illustrated at the right time because then it fell apart.
Starting point is 01:07:12 But then he went to ESPN and I think there was like claims that he was plagiarizing himself which shouldn't be, that shouldn't be a big deal. That's like a thing
Starting point is 01:07:19 though even in like school. If you reuse, if you like repurpose an essay, they call it plagiarism. He was lifting his own articles that he had written which i respect that move it's like yeah dude i had like a certain
Starting point is 01:07:30 if you're a good show people awesome yeah and then he got a huge deal from espn and then uh what was the clip it was the steve young i think when he wanted credit for something for breaking something on mond Night Football. I think that was the moment where I was like, this isn't going to work out. Can you find it, TJ? He was like, credit me, credit me. Either way, he made a shitload of money in what went off in the 60s. He was like the 90s. He was like the editorial sports writer of note for the 90s.
Starting point is 01:08:00 Dude, I used to get Sports Illustrated as a kid just right to the back page. He was in a Miller Lite commercial with Rebecca Romaine. He was? That's his personal life section. Romaine, huh? Is that how you say it? That's exactly how you say it. Used to say Romaine Stamos.
Starting point is 01:08:20 J-O-C. Who is it? Isn't that J-O-C's wife? Is it? Jerry O'Connell. I was thinking of Jeremiah Owusu Karamoa. Leatherheads? Jerry O'Connell just saved people, didn't he?
Starting point is 01:08:33 He just saved a burning food truck. Those things explode. I didn't know that. Food trucks? Yeah, that's crazy. He used tooth jokes a lot. Can you find the clip I'm talking about, TJ? We're a tooth joke.
Starting point is 01:08:46 I'm especially harsh on him. He looks like Steve Young, Rick Riley. What does that mean? He also went hard at Sammy Sosa. He was the first person to accuse him of steroids. He was the tip of the iceberg of the steroids. He always pissed me off because all the sports writers basically got huge contracts covering the home run chase.
Starting point is 01:09:06 He was like, his article was like, well excuse me for asking was like the snarky title of it. Yeah, that's right. It was right before. I said that I had this first on Twitter. Scott was like, really, dude?
Starting point is 01:09:37 That's hilarious. That was a tough moment for him. Yeah, he's a legend. Yeah. As far as sports writers, he kind of like ceded to Bill Simmons. Bill Simmons. I think there was like a big. So he was super anti-Bonds and Sosa, but was super pro Lance Armstrong.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Yeah. Duality of man. Anti-malaria. I'm prone. You know malaria is in the U.S. right now. What? Florida, right? Florida. I think you've said that every episode. I'm going to know malaria's in the US right now What? Florida right? Florida and I think you've said that every episode
Starting point is 01:10:07 I'm gonna keep saying it Bill Gates really did Did he not? He did He released the mosquitoes That got everybody Yeah he definitely did How the government's controlling your bodies
Starting point is 01:10:16 And I'm gonna keep saying it You gotta avoid his Avocado company too Is that true? He's got an avocado company What ever happened to his Poop water idea? I think we're drinking it.
Starting point is 01:10:29 The iced coffee you see me with every day. That was just a water. I'll just do a water. Bill Gates water? I'll do a water black. Extra shit. Kind of is what coffee is.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Well, isn't there also bat shit coffee too? Like guano? Oh, yeah. Or no, there's like... Isn't it like leopard or something shit? There's some type of coffee that's like... It's definitely whale. It's something that eats the beans and then shits them out.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Yeah, right. Dig the beans out of the shit. Why did they start doing that? I think people just get bored. They just try shit out. Literally try shit out, dude. What if these coffee beans went through a digestive system? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:22 That'd be good. How is Tremont? Awesome. When is it coming out? Out today. That'd be good. How is Tremont? Awesome. When is it coming out? Out today. It's already on. It's making good headlines. It's our fastest performing.
Starting point is 01:11:32 Hell yes. Nice. So thus far. 40K in two hours. Do you think Tremont likes you? Really? Who's watching? At first, I didn't know, but then he said my name.
Starting point is 01:11:42 So I was like, oh, yeah. That's like, yeah. He knows. He acknowledged that I was a human in and of myself. Yeah. We waited an hour to do that. But that's kind of a nice payoff. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:53 The entire time I went, I was like, he probably doesn't know my name. Then he said it. Bang. Ron. Jay Williams called me Tyler the entire episode. No! And he was shortening it. He's like, see Ty,
Starting point is 01:12:06 that's what I'm saying. You must have been like, damn, this guy really likes me. So he said my name. Are you pumped for Drake? Drake's coming on? He's coming on the stage in Brooklyn tomorrow night.
Starting point is 01:12:21 I think you guys could get Drake. I do too. That girl got him. NBA plus Abby. That was her fourth podcast. Yeah think you guys could get Drake. I do too. That girl got him. That was her fourth podcast. Yeah. How did she get Drake? Who got Drake? WME.
Starting point is 01:12:32 Oh, WME. Oh. Even if you have WME, I mean, there's a lot of people that are with WME. They can't all get Drake. She is insanely funny, though. She is really funny. And all her stuff, like, blows up so big. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:44 What's her name again? Her left breast. B-O-B-B-I. Her boobs got lopsided from breastfeeding. Yeah. Oh yeah? Is she actually a mother?
Starting point is 01:12:53 Yes. Yes, yeah. I thought she wasn't a mother. I thought she was lying. I thought it was a joke. No, no. She has her two kids. Oh, is she like
Starting point is 01:12:58 the Satira cool podcast? Yeah. Where did she come from? She was like a TikToker. She was like a TikToker but like really genuinely funny and... But TikToker. She was like a TikToker, but really genuinely funny. But just very dry. Started doing the chicken shop type interviews, kind of.
Starting point is 01:13:12 She was interviewing Drake in a bed, right? Yeah, at his house. Oh, my God. But yeah, Drake did Lil Yachty's podcast. He did Caleb's show. He did this show, so maybe he's doing more shit. I just bought his book. You wrote a book?
Starting point is 01:13:28 He can talk. We need to hear from him. Right. But I think he's smart to be going on podcasts. I think he kind of sees the wave in some ways. Or maybe he's very late to it. There was one line from his book that I fucking really blew my mind. Wait, whose book?
Starting point is 01:13:43 Drake's. Is it a poetry book? What's the difference between going through your phone and going through hell? That's on one page. Now on the next page it says, I really can't tell. He's on that milk and honey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean?
Starting point is 01:13:57 Why are you rolling your eyes? I like how he wrote the book. I didn't fucking like that. I thought it was lame. Whoa! Bro, you know that you're fucking me right now. Don't put smut on Drake's name like that. Come on, dude. The way that it's just written, it's like a line of page.
Starting point is 01:14:11 That's how you should write a book. Honestly, that's a way to get one done. Drake's the best. If I were Drake, I'd unfollow everybody on this show. Immediately. After talking shit. That's what Kyle's trying to do. He's trying to sound like us.
Starting point is 01:14:25 You're worried about your standing with Drake. Huh? Sass. I'm constantly worried about where I stand with Drake. Yeah, my bad, bro. And I forgot you had something. I heard. The fuck, KB, bro?
Starting point is 01:14:39 You're fat ass, bro. Keep your fat ass mouth shut. Fat ass. You're fat. Yeah, you're fat as shit. You are obese. You think he's going to bring you up on stage tomorrow, Ron? Probably the way that he brought up Steph Curry was like, people say we look alike.
Starting point is 01:14:53 Yeah. He said that? To Steph Curry. Oh, yeah. How did Steph's wife react to that? She was like pissed. Yeah. Did you see that, Ron?
Starting point is 01:15:02 Yeah, I did. I was trying to figure out what she was pissed about. I know. That she was pissed at Drake for Steph, being like, now Steph's going to be cocky. Probably on her period or some girl shit. It has to be on the rag. It has to be on her period.
Starting point is 01:15:15 What is she? Like Drake. Bobby Lading. Girls are always on their period. I didn't know that Bobby girl had two kids. I mean, she fucks. Yeah. She throws her husband in some.
Starting point is 01:15:30 He's a hot guy. He's got a husband? Yeah. Come on, bro. Unfollowed. She shows her kids in a classy way. You never see them, but you see them, but you don't. Look at their heads.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Their names are Concrete and something else. Concrete? She just made up names. That's a solid name. Yeah. I took Concrete and Laser else. Concrete? She just made up names. That's a solid name. Yeah. I took Concrete and Laserbeam to this. Zing. A quiet comedy style is very funny, though.
Starting point is 01:15:52 It's hilarious. The videos are... I watched them on the plane for like two hours. You have funny Marco on, and he was hilarious. He also has that really quiet, still comedy style. Which I think is very funny. I like the influencers. You'll see them.
Starting point is 01:16:08 It's like they'll have to set the phone somewhere, obviously, but you see them walking by, and it's like her setting the phone down and them walking backwards and them walking by. Smart. Yeah. It's funny. She's good.
Starting point is 01:16:21 Honey bitch. She would kill in Barstool Comedy. She would kill at the Barstool Comedy Network. Yeah, we should sign her. Kyle and I have a Barstool Comedy meeting Thursday. What's it? Must have been a typo. It had to have been.
Starting point is 01:16:38 No way. Talk to someone about that? Yeah, please, man. Get that off your calendar. Do people put stuff on your guys' calendar? Constantly. I keep on getting emails being like, you were mentioned in a Slack. What? I'm like, who's talking shit about me on Slack right now?
Starting point is 01:16:52 Because I'm not on Slack. I'm not on Slack. Do you assume it's shit-talking? What else would it be? I'll never join Slack. I think 99% of the time that I'm mentioning someone, it's shit-talking. Yeah. I've never said anybody the time that I'm mentioning someone, it's shit talking. Yeah. I've never said anybody's name followed with a compliment.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Especially on Slack. That's the place to do it. Slack is just like Instant Messenger, but... I think it's like for business. What the hell does that mean? It's how the upstairs plans to fuck one another. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Oh, God. They're running tip drills on the fellas up there. Ladies are passing around the fellas up there. A lot of girl bosses. A lot of girl bosses. Shit, dude.
Starting point is 01:17:38 We make girl bosses. We have a girl boss lab. Girl boss factory. We walked through yesterday and Pat Bev's like, you really know everybody's name in here? I was like,
Starting point is 01:17:49 God, no. Yeah. What? No. Not even close. You can assume a lot of the white guys are named Tom.
Starting point is 01:17:58 A couple Tylers. Yeah. Connors. Manolis. Manolis. A couple Manolos. Manolis. Manolis. A couple Manolos. I don't know. A lot of Knicks.
Starting point is 01:18:11 A lot of Knicks. A lot of Knicks. A lot of Knicks. We're a very Knick-heavy office. Too many Knicks. No doubt. There's actually another KB, which is surprising. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:20 What? In sales. Another Kyle Bauer. You didn't know that? Kyle wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. Very interesting. Very interesting. That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:18:37 No, but is it really KB? Yeah. I think it's Kyle Bauer, but it's spelled like Bowser. I think KB's a girl name. It is. Yeah. KB. What?
Starting point is 01:18:49 Yeah, it's like a chick name. Yeah, like K-A-Y-B-E-E. Yeah, like KB. Oh, the initialism is male. No, I think the initialism is still girl. The initialism is masculine. What happened to the dude KB Lame from TikTok, who passed the D'Amelio's?
Starting point is 01:19:04 Oh, the African? Yeah. I think he's still killing it. He's just doing commercials. Colgate ads. Who are these people? Selling out shouldn't be as frowned
Starting point is 01:19:17 upon as it is for those people because he's not going to last forever. And the alternative is just working a million dollars. This dude's on vacation. Go grab him. What the hell? Should we?
Starting point is 01:19:28 He just popped in. I love popping. He just popped in, took a pic. Danny didn't give a fuck. Danny's running schemes. Danny had his hands on the iron. Yeah. And he's 25.
Starting point is 01:19:37 See the guy that grabbed his gun, the cop in the Baltimore game? Yeah, the ball. He was going to shoot the ball. There was a home run ball coming towards him. He grabbed his gun. Yeah. Uh-uh. Which would have been awesome. Oh my God. He hit it.
Starting point is 01:19:49 Would have been awesome. It's just a reflex. He's like, what the fuck? All is white though. Maybe at a hockey game. Yeah. Oh my gosh. But just like hitting.
Starting point is 01:20:06 He grabbed for the tail. Right there. Oh, look at his hand. Hit. Oh. It's a salt. It's a salt. They're running a TikTok right now where Travi throws a tennis ball to people,
Starting point is 01:20:25 and he's trying to catch people looking unathletic. Yeah, we went 13 for 13 in the office. Everybody caught it? Me and Phil didn't. Me neither. Really? Me just got his hand caught trying to bring it up. Really?
Starting point is 01:20:38 Yeah. It's tough. Yeah, that's just a nasty design. But when I do it with scissors. Yeah, I was going to say, you've done that a million times to us. I do it with cactuses and scissors, and suddenly I'm a fucking. You make a swing, and everyone's like, Barstool, sports? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:56 These dudes talk sports? Make your boy swing again. Oh, it's up. Your poly. Travi posts so often. There's already a part two to this already posted. I went to the Barstool TikTok and it's like a thousand a day. Man, Big Cat, that was clean as hell.
Starting point is 01:21:11 We're about to pass Real Madrid in followers on TikTok. Marty. Oh, nice. Ebony. Hmm. Ebony. That was clean. Yeah, TJ. Nice. That looks like he might have gotten a little bit of a heads up before him.
Starting point is 01:21:32 Not the body. You can't let it come to the body. Danny. What is it bad if Danny drops it? Danny shoots it. Sandra. He's flexing how many names he knows. I was going to say, I didn't know.
Starting point is 01:21:46 I want to see a couple of those through me for a little bit of a twist. Memes. Billy. Arj. Liam. Arj is such a nice guy. What's up, brother? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:00 Steve. Dabs him up. Memes. One-hander. No. No. Oh. This ball here. Oh.
Starting point is 01:22:15 Allen. Oh, he's got Allen. Oh, that's Allen. He looks scared. He didn't know what hand to do. Oh. It might work. You didn't know what hand to do. Girl. It might work. That was the smoothest one, boy.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Why are your knees on top of each other? Why are your knees touching each other? Why are my knees touching? Why are my knees touching? You're in the fetal position. Oh, man's knees should never touch. Why would my knees touch it? Let's go.
Starting point is 01:22:55 Rudy. Why would my knees touch it? Ooh. Ron. Last time I hired a mover. Damn, Ron. It's the left. Last time I hired a mover. What, Roan. It's the left. Last time I hired a mover.
Starting point is 01:23:06 What were you doing there, KB? Can we pull that KB one up one more time? His knees were touching each other, bro. You even have a pillow in between those. Oh, his knees were touching. He's got a pregnancy wedge. What the hell is going on? Like you're presenting.
Starting point is 01:23:21 You're a little spoon right there. I'm going to slide it behind you. Put Dick in booty cheese. What the hell are you doing? I'm the smoothest one. Like Harry Potter's scar. You look like that's the Odalisque pose. You look like you're going to be painted in the 1700s.
Starting point is 01:23:43 I'm going to remake that right now and just whip it at people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you should. Yeah. A ball? I would love a big one. Use a soccer ball right next to you. Super hawk.
Starting point is 01:23:51 The giant one. Say their name after you throw it. Say their name after you hit them with it. That big ball right there was addressed to me from my mom. She sent that football to the office. From your mom? And she was just like, I thought you guys would like it. Yeah. that football to the office. From your mom? She was just like, I thought you guys would like it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:07 I mean, we do. It's a great ball. I've seen a lot of people carry it. Yep. It's been making the rounds. It has a pleasant feel to it. I've never had to carry it. Throwing that ball.
Starting point is 01:24:18 It bounced right up. It could try to catch it. It wasn't smooth as fuck. It's tough to catch one-handed. It's a man's world. It's very... Something really great. Like rugby, does it bring you back to your days?
Starting point is 01:24:32 It does. Does it make you want to binge drink in a... That could have been a little high. Here we go, Kyle. KB, you're on play time. That's how Kyle's going to play. Yeah, keep this dead center in this. Do we need Chilling Michels to recreate this?
Starting point is 01:24:47 Yeah. Could you paint my boy? I want butt ass naked. I want to see his asshole. Maybe like a finger by the lip or something like that. Like a little seductress. I thought you meant like the lip of his asshole. Yeah, one at both places.
Starting point is 01:25:00 And like a good, flat, medieval lady white ass. Yeah. Nice. Factory resetting himself. John Kelly could for sure cruise. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I think he might cruise to work every day.
Starting point is 01:25:16 Remember Hank had the power board. Yeah. Everybody's cruise presenting, but he can't. I feel that. He doesn't know how to get off. Nobody can get Rudy off. God knows we've tried. Everybody's tried.
Starting point is 01:25:32 It sounds like he fell. Yeah, I just heard a bunch of people go, uh-oh. Here he comes again. He's coming. I like it when he stops. He kicks it away as hard as he can. Just, I'm done. Well, there he goes. He's coming. I like it when he stops. He kicks it away as hard as he can. Just, I'm done.
Starting point is 01:25:46 Well, there he goes. He's smooth. Smooth of it. Bow-dow-dow-dow-dow. Bow-dow-dow-dow-dow. Bow-dow-dow-dow-dow. I can't believe they made a whole genre off of one, like, bass line. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:09 Oh, no, no. Oh. Here he comes. Scared a few people in the hall. Do you have a longboard? Yeah, pull out the longboard, and we can all really cruise. Baby, you're a song. You make me want wanna throw my window down Back road Chevy with the lift kit
Starting point is 01:26:30 Would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it You want what? I want his Florida Georgia line Both of them I want his Tayo cruise I want his big cat Holden Oh, it's a tennis ball Oh, he's gonna whip it
Starting point is 01:26:44 The dismount Clever Oh, it's a tennis ball. Oh, he's going to whip it. Did this matter? Oh, clever. Wow, where's he headed? Looks like he's about to... Holy communion. Or like to turn around a school of rowdy teens. Yeah, yeah. How do I reach these gates?
Starting point is 01:27:00 Yoda, you're not going to send me to detention. Sit back down. You guys remember when GoPros were a big thing? Yeah. I had a GoPro mounted on my lawn board. No idea why. I was just videos of me just rolling around my driveway. Yeah, the worst people.
Starting point is 01:27:19 Like a fucking HD camera. I posted it to you. What? Already? Yeah. Jesus. Do you guys ever remember? Did you ever have GoPro and you saw yourself in it for the first time?
Starting point is 01:27:32 I never had one. It had like a fisheye lens, and I didn't know what that was. And I uploaded it to our family computer, and I saw myself. And I thought I had Down syndrome. Dude, my face was like so, it was like crazy, and I was horrified because I didn't understand. I was like, that's what I look like? It was a fisheye lens?
Starting point is 01:27:51 A fisheye lens. I didn't know. I was like in like fifth grade. I didn't know what a fisheye lens was. I was like, that's what I look like on camera. Ken Jack. Damn, big cat. Good turnaround time.
Starting point is 01:28:01 Frank. Rico. Frank. Rico. Max. Phil. Oh, my God. You killed him. Rudy. Joey.
Starting point is 01:28:20 Ow! Rico. Billy. That's so good. That's cool. Ken Jack. Billy. Ice cream's so good. Ken Jack. Great turnaround time on that. Great turnaround time. It's that easy.
Starting point is 01:28:32 It's fun working with people. That easy. They're definitely showing that at our year-end meeting. I would have caught that in his ass cheeks. Big Cat has really taken off on TikTok recently. He's our star. Yeah. Up-and-coming brands, Big Cat's TikTok.
Starting point is 01:28:46 We need you on the Ozempic. You're doing too good, too much. Yeah. Feel that motivation. You're a machine. Did you do HelloFresh? I made an airplane.
Starting point is 01:28:58 Fuck. All right. You made an airplane. Can we talk about HelloFresh, though? Yeah. I've been using it. I've been taking a bite out of summer,. Can we talk about HelloFresh, though? Yeah. I've been using it. I've been taking a bite out of summer, my darn self, with HelloFresh and their chef-created seasonal recipes for their new fresh and fit summer menu. I'm about to move, and I'm going to have a little bit better of a kitchen, but you just get so excited to cook something up in a new kitchen.
Starting point is 01:29:23 And with the pre-proportioned ingredients that HelloFresh sends you, it makes it so much easier. You cut down on food waste. There's step-by-step instructions to make cooking a breeze, not a chore. You can make your home the hangout place this summer with crowd-pleasing eats from the Tangy Key Lime Pie or my favorite, the Bratwurst Bar, HelloFresh Market makes sure that summer entertaining is a cinch. It's peak time for summer produce, so HelloFresh is going to give you the best picks all summer long. Their ingredients travel from the farm to your door in fewer than seven days
Starting point is 01:29:59 for quality that you can taste. You wouldn't need dinner fast. Don't call for delivery. Think HelloFresh. Their fast and fresh recipes are ready in just 15 minutes or less. Plus, HelloFresh is 25% cheaper than takeout. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Yak50
Starting point is 01:30:14 and use code Yak50 for 50% off plus free shipping. HelloFresh, that's a great deal. Except for it says less than seven days. Should be fewer than seven days. Fifteen minutes or less. Fifteen minutes or fewer. If you can count it, it's fewer. It's like you want fewer peas but less applesauce.
Starting point is 01:30:36 Thanks, Rob. Good way for you to remember Nick. Thanks, man. If you ever in a dark alley, get some HelloFresh. HelloFresh. Spin the wheel, TJ? Dark Alley. Yeah. Get some Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh. Spin the wheel, TJ? Gonna spin that wheel.
Starting point is 01:30:52 Better do what you feel. Hello Fresh got them wheels. And mass appeal. It's before people realized they could sing over music, so they just took turns. Yeah. Like instruments turn, then singing. It's before people realized they could sing over music, so they just took turns. Instruments turn, then singing. It's way better.
Starting point is 01:31:12 B-1, why were you sitting like that? Weirdo. We were trying to get it off. It landed on dry. We'll try again. I was hoping for round to hop in on that one We'll try again. I was hoping for round to hop in on that one. Fuck, sorry. Think of the second line first.
Starting point is 01:31:30 I don't know the second line. No, but think of the thing you want to rhyme with and then go back to the first line. Wow. Very interesting. Everybody's like,
Starting point is 01:31:37 Harry Mack is so talented. No, he's just thinking ahead. Yeah. What are we getting into today, boys? Postiac. I got to go on Clemmer's podcast. They're my boys.
Starting point is 01:31:48 KB, you were just on that, weren't you? Movies you do. Fox Catcher and The Fighter. I love The Fighter. Great movies. Fox Catcher is phenomenal. Fox Catcher, not great for the wrestling community. No.
Starting point is 01:32:01 I couldn't believe that that was Steve Carell. Behind his prosthetic. What a fucking performance. And bail. Steve Carell wanted to be the original Joker. Wow, Ro. That was sick.
Starting point is 01:32:12 That was good. He did? Yeah. That would have been good. Yeah. He probably would have knocked it out of the park. But sometimes you just get
Starting point is 01:32:18 so much face recognition. Hard to have a different role. True. Someone said recently Tom Cruise Plays Tom Cruise In every movie And does a bad job of it That was Keeks
Starting point is 01:32:33 Was it? Probably I don't like people Putting smut on Tom Cruise And hating on Cruise You like Tom Cruise? Love Tom Cruise Did you see when Tom Cruise
Starting point is 01:32:42 Got pranked And somebody sprayed him? What? In an interview. Yeah, and he was just real intense back to him. He gets really angry in interviews. There's always the, why would you ask me that? It's like smiling angrily.
Starting point is 01:32:56 With that one line that he gets. Not a line. Got a line and a middle tooth. Yeah, that interview we watched a few months ago. Yeah, where he gets watched a few months ago. Yeah, where he gets really mad at that guy for asking about his family or his wife. Ex-wife, Nicole Kidman. You're out of pocket.
Starting point is 01:33:17 Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Come here. Come here. Why would you do that? To be a legend forever? Yeah. No, no, it's okay.
Starting point is 01:33:31 No, no, wait a second. He laughed. What's so funny about that? He was using like a disarming tactic. Yeah, this is getting weird. Yeah, that's... It's like me talking to my son. He's holding his hand.
Starting point is 01:33:43 Yeah, he's... Oh, man. Me. Boy's about to do a cum walk. Oh, that lady in the towel. He's like, dude, you're being weird. I'm going to spray you and leave. He's still going. He's incredibly rude.
Starting point is 01:34:04 Oh, he's still... You're giving you an interview and answering your questions, and you do something really nasty. Language You're a jerk That guy's like crying I am a jerk. He's about to cry. That guy's like crying. I am a jerk. What a tactic. I'm getting called a jerk like that. It's got a...
Starting point is 01:34:30 Yeah, a jerk hurts. It pierces the soul. You're a real jerk. You're a jerk. I mean it. Yeah. It took him a minute to get to you're a jerk. Then he hit it again.
Starting point is 01:34:39 Worst part is knowing that guy probably was making his way there with his little squirter so excited. Like, I'm gonna... I'm assuming he was doing it to everyone. I can't imagine it was just Tom Cruise. Did he say to be a legend? I thought someone just said that. Oh, oh, oh.
Starting point is 01:34:54 That's why he would do it. That would be hilarious if he said that. I could see you doing a squirt in the face on red carpet. And then, yeah. And then crying afterwards. Having a psychotic breakdown after. Do that at the-
Starting point is 01:35:08 Questioning everything. Yeah. Do it to someone at the Barstool Awards red carpet. Escort somebody. Oh, yeah. You're a jerk. Have you guys started writing yet? No.
Starting point is 01:35:17 Writing your minute? No. I don't even know if I'm involved. You're definitely involved. Yeah, you're going to be getting good. He's going to be walking out like James Cameron. I am? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:28 Obviously. The fuck? Why would you not be involved? When I talked to him about the whole helicopter proposal, he was like, well, Big Cat needs to be there at four, so. Wait, have you started preparing your minute? Yeah. Shut up.
Starting point is 01:35:39 I don't want to do it. I don't want to do this. What is it? 23rd. August 23rd. Yeah. So, yeah, Brandon will come back for that last week. That Monday show I might not be here for, but I'll be here for the case race.
Starting point is 01:35:55 When does the case race come out? First day of school, I probably should. Friday, August 25th. Wait, so this month? Friday. Next month. Next month. Comes out on Friday.
Starting point is 01:36:04 So we aren't going to record on that Friday. No, we're not going to record on that Thursday? Friday. Next month. Next month. Comes out on Friday. So we aren't going to record on that Friday. No, we're not going to record on that Thursday or Friday. After the awards. What's the Thursday? Thursday would be potentially Stu's house. So what's going to work? We get live from Stu's. But then we're going to do games.
Starting point is 01:36:18 Got it. So. Good. Monday regular yak. Then I might be a little late, too. Monday night, Case Race that we'll record for Friday. Tuesday, live Yak from Stu's house. Then we're going to do something else for Thursday's show.
Starting point is 01:36:36 Maybe a KB's Wild or something. Yeah. Stu's house would be very fun, actually. There's a lot of shit we could do there. And then Wednesday, we do it live from boston and then last week of august off first week of september roan and sass have to get their places in chicago and then we'll be off around got his i think that's what i think i was thinking about it more like instead of just having people complain I'm just gonna be like no they're just out today for like the next like five
Starting point is 01:37:08 years like no no they're coming next tomorrow I mean tomorrow will always be tomorrow right and there's a ton of shows where a lot of us are not here so we'll just be like yeah they're traveling yeah they're doing neighborhood eats they're just having their lunch in New York
Starting point is 01:37:24 you guys will come every now and then eats. They're just having their lunch in New York. No, but you guys will come every now and then. Of course. This is coming already for a week. I know. Yeah, I think I'm headlining Chicago Zanies for like a week. Let's go. Residency?
Starting point is 01:37:38 Are you doing residency? I was doing residency, yeah. What week, Sass? I don't know. October 14th? I don't know. October 14th? I don't know. 16th to the 20th? The downtown shows are sold out.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Hell yes. They're adding me to Tuesday and Wednesday. Then I have Thursday in Rosemont, I think. Yeah. Then Friday, Saturday in downtown. Nice. Let me see. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 01:38:13 It's a little Sasquatch website.com. Oh, yeah. Who does that? Like the nature. Lean website, right? Who does that? Who does it? Chicago, yeah. I think Fish is in Chicago that weekend.
Starting point is 01:38:22 Maybe we'll go to that for Sas. What is he doing? Some Barstool Outdoor stuff? There's the big three. That looks great. Big three. You're going to have to hit up your guy to tell him to get rid of the Yak tab. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:35 I'm just talking. I'm going to have him make the link redirect to something else. Back to the website. Wow. See, I didn't write this. I don't do this stuff. But yes, as a Buffalo Bills fan, yikes. Wouldn't worry about that last part. I don't write that.
Starting point is 01:38:58 I don't have any control over it. I don't even know how to get into the website. It's your website. I know. Good for you, man. Good the website. It's your website. I know. Good for you, man. Good for you. Got your own website. You're really doing it, man.
Starting point is 01:39:12 Doing comedy in New York. You done it in Chicago yet? No. Let's go. They have the best sense of humor in America. Heard. Right now is a weird time because now I'm going back to cities that i've already been to and they are you they've seen this hour no they haven't like i'm going to atlanta i was in atlanta
Starting point is 01:39:30 last summer but there's like there's like 40 minutes of new material you gotta be close to a special hell no yeah within five years remotely close within five years of a buddy just so you know uh barstool decides what specials are. You're going to tape that shit. And if it doesn't go good, you're fired. Yeah. Definitely have Barstool tape it.
Starting point is 01:39:50 I mean, it costs like $70,000 to film a special. It's because you have to like rent all the camera equipment. You told me I could direct it. Yep. I did say that. I'd like to be in the truck.
Starting point is 01:40:00 Yeah, wow. Live cut it. Just one joystick. Yeah. Just one. There's just a big cat cam and it just one joystick yeah just one there's just a big cat cam and it just zooms in
Starting point is 01:40:08 on his crotch I would like the camera to cut to me and the crowd laughing but I do like that head shake like nah I didn't do that again
Starting point is 01:40:17 oh my god you said it not me you gotta like roast the security guards or some shit like 85 south yeah that won't be for it is funny to think about that like none of the material
Starting point is 01:40:30 I do right now would ever be in a special why not? it's so far from now is that something you think of? is that something in the back of your mind? of like recording something? yeah but that wouldn't be for like you should record something right now and that could be the lost tapes.
Starting point is 01:40:46 I mean, I have this hour recorded. Yeah, couldn't you just post that? The best one on YouTube? Once you get new material? Is that how it works? I guess. You could chop it up for social. It seems like now you'd chop it up.
Starting point is 01:41:02 Yeah. Chop that shit up. Make some chop suey. Sass is so revered. He reveres the like the the process of doing it that he's not going to be like the comic that
Starting point is 01:41:12 jumps the gun. Well it's a good way to destroy. It's going to be like 45 years old. Like not ready. Not ready. Not ready.
Starting point is 01:41:19 Bad special. Who's some people that did it prematurely? I don't know care of top i know you do know because all anytime i'm with you and a bunch of other comedians you guys like can refer to every other comedian and everything that they've done they're mean they're like skateboarders they talk shit on each other i've said that it would be awesome if we had like a adam schafter of of uh or shams of the comedy world just there's a guy that does that
Starting point is 01:41:44 and i've i told gaz to hire him like five times, and they never did. There's so much. Now he's like exploding. Do you see drama and like crazy shit that goes on? Every now and then I pick up threads of it on Twitter, and I'm like, the comedy world. They all loathe each other. They all like secretly hate the fuck out of each other. They all love to expose each other, but not say their names.
Starting point is 01:42:03 Like, there's a comedian that's been raping. Best way to be a good comic is to be a bad comic. Then you'll get invited to, like, be with the good comics. Yeah. Or to be a successful... Hmm.
Starting point is 01:42:16 Or they're always like, Norman says you should throw out your second special whenever you're filming one. Like, you refer to somebody and, like, a trick of the trade they have. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:42:26 I'm not a shit talker. I'm just a man of peace and love. Yeah, that's facts. I just try and boost everyone up. That's facts. Sometimes I just go to the stand and I just go up to you like, oh, you're going to kill it tonight, man.
Starting point is 01:42:34 You're a genuinely bad guy. Learn it from daddy. You at the stand tonight? No. I know Francis is. I know, I might go. It says a show with Norman. I was going to go, but...
Starting point is 01:42:50 I think he has a Netflix special coming out next week. Francis? No, Mark Norman. Mark Norman. I interviewed him here once, and they called him Mark Normand. Oh. I thought he was like... Called Matt McCusker, Matt McCuster.
Starting point is 01:43:03 Oh. It's funny. I actually thought that was what his name was should be he's the man he's the best Matt McCuster's last stand
Starting point is 01:43:10 mm-hmm he has a special coming out soon too insanely good vibes yeah everyone's got a special coming out shaman
Starting point is 01:43:18 so what should we do so is it just gonna be us for the case race I hate to keep on coming back to it but I just want to keep on thinking about it I think it should just be us for the case race? I hate to keep on coming back to it, but I just want to keep on thinking about it. I think it should just be us.
Starting point is 01:43:26 Yeah? Yeah, just goodbye. Brandon and? Yeah. Yeah, I guess Brandon. And then he's not going to be able to drink. Shit-faced. I think the only person we could invite is Shane.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Yeah. He's the only one that would be. Willie. Will Compton. I'm going to say his best. I thought you were thinking about Cologne. Yeah, Will or Shane. Will Cologne, yeah. Will Compton. I thought you were thinking about Cologne. Will or Shane. Or Cologne.
Starting point is 01:43:49 Maybe doing a... Maybe it's like a... Oh, we could do... Mezcal? We could do a five beer case race to decide draft order in the draft. Everyone gets a nice buzz,
Starting point is 01:44:05 but it's also not the most painful thing. I don't know what it is about drinking in here. It has the same vibe as an airport, where it's like two beers, you're hammered. Yeah, true. You can go out and have ten beers and be fine, functioning completely normal, but for some reason in here,
Starting point is 01:44:20 maybe it's the lights. If it was like, what have you cut it up into three mini cases and the first one, five beers, the first team of five beers gets to pick first choice of the whatever, the second, then you go again and then the third's the tiebreaker if it's tied.
Starting point is 01:44:35 Oh, but that would end. We would get more drunk doing that than we would ever have gotten. Exactly. Because it would be erased in increments. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, really. Five beers. First five beers. We'd all chug five beers as fast as we can.
Starting point is 01:44:49 You couldn't. No. So wait, you're saying you erase five beers, then you could run up and pick your ingredient? Yeah, like whichever team's the first five beers gets some kind of reward. And once that's done, you do the second five beers, gets the next reward, and then say it's a tie, the third five beers is the tiebreaker.
Starting point is 01:45:05 I like that. But is it just going to be me, you, and Sass, and TJ, and Che drinking? I'm drinking. You are drinking? Yeah. Even with the gluten-free beers? Gluten-free beer. KB's drinking. Y'all just drink high noons. We'll see. Yeah, you can
Starting point is 01:45:19 do whatever's best for the show. Yeah, we're forcing you to give up sobriety then. Yeah, then I'll do it. Just bring in a world of t-shirts. He'll start drinking. Put them in the Lady Balls shirt. No. Kyle will be wearing that still.
Starting point is 01:45:36 Yeah. Run it back. It'll be stinky by then. I got an interview at three. Do we want to play one Sporkle before we go? I do have something. Oh. It's Kate's last day in New York.
Starting point is 01:45:45 Oh, yeah. That's right. What? What? And Che usually does a song. What? But he's not here. Wait, it's your last day?
Starting point is 01:45:52 I'm moving tomorrow. Oh. Yeah. Are you excited? I'm excited. I'm freaking out. I couldn't figure out the- We're going to see your house.
Starting point is 01:46:00 You're going to see your forever home soon. I'm going to see my house for the first time. We're driving, so it's me, Pat, our two-year-old, and the cat. Oh. So we can't even get out of the car and explore along the way because we have the cat. And so I don't know how this is going to go. Just driving straight? As soon as the movers are done tomorrow, we're just going to get in the car and start going.
Starting point is 01:46:18 What time is that going to be? We have no idea. What? It's a mystery. The whole thing is a mystery. I shouldn't be allowed to do anything. When are you having your child? Like end of October. Oh, wow. Yeah. What? It's a mystery. The whole thing is a mystery. I shouldn't be allowed to do anything. When are you having your child? October, like end of October.
Starting point is 01:46:28 Oh, wow. Yeah. That's kind of like, I mean, I have- That's right when Sass said Zanies. I know, I know. I'm trying to speed it up so I can go to Zanies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.
Starting point is 01:46:36 I have three kids and a dog. We're doing the same thing. You're driving too? No, we're taking a private plane. But it's kind of the same. But you're driving in the sky. Yeah, it's kind of the same. Sky driving. You guys can't stop anywhere. It's a nightmare, the same. But you're driving in the sky. Yeah, it's kind of the same. Sky driving.
Starting point is 01:46:45 You guys can't stop anywhere. It's a nightmare, Big Cass. You can't let your dog out? You have to drive at least, what, like 35 minutes to New Jersey? Yeah, it's a lot. Pray for me, please.
Starting point is 01:46:54 Do you want to fly out of like LaGuardia from private? No. No? Maybe, I don't know. We could probably hook that up. That fucking sucks, man. Why don't you just take
Starting point is 01:47:03 a chopper to New Jersey? It's probably way easier. Wait, you leave this weekend, don't you just take a chopper to New Jersey It'll probably be way easier Wait you leave this weekend don't you It's Sunday It's yeah it's What kind of plane you guys flying Hopefully Pat's packing I think it's
Starting point is 01:47:11 A model 747 Hey Rog plane So wait TJ does that mean that Marshall private plane That Che wrote a song He did What
Starting point is 01:47:22 Oh Did he perform it He did Oh no He Oh. Did he perform it? He did. Oh, no. He recorded it. A selfie Che video? I do miss him when he's gone.
Starting point is 01:47:33 Where is he? Oh! Oh, a video and everything. Wait a second. Fuck. How long ago did he record this? Last week, it had to have been. Last year?
Starting point is 01:47:42 All right, let's hear it. Where is Che? Jersey Shore. Jersey Shore. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. There's some volume. All right. All right, the name of the song is Last Cape.
Starting point is 01:47:57 Oh, no. Is this that Pearl Jam song about the woman who dies in the car crash? Yeah, probably. Che doesn't really have any long drives. Those are Che's best songs. The abortion one? Yeah, he thought the number last? Yeah, probably. Che doesn't really have any long drives. Those are Che's best songs. The abortion one. Yeah, he thought the number last year was really cheap.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Oh, where, oh, where can my Katie be? The beef took her away from me. He has so much confidence. So I got to subscribe so I can be alerted when the air goes live.
Starting point is 01:48:28 You haven't even seen your new home yet. It'll be fine. Don't fret. It's a great mood. All the songs are the same, too. Hey, is that the beef in my shed? After the tank races when it felt right.
Starting point is 01:48:50 You didn't use protection that night. In the case race, you had to pass. Maybe the wheel will name it Master Class. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:49:12 Oh, where, oh, where can my Katie be? Oh! The beef took high. Oh, he's going high. She's moved to shotgun, so I got to subscribe. His veins are popping. So I can be alerted when the air goes live. Kate joined the Yak over a year ago. And she's added such a nice flow.
Starting point is 01:49:38 Something warm, different from us guys. Maybe because what's not between her thighs. Whatever happened to your only fans. Katie Money grabs us nuts like pecans. America's enemies is who you used to fight. Now you just hear about Sass's cod plight. But now Kate's gone. What?
Starting point is 01:50:06 Sass is gone. Sass is gone. Remember that time you saw my dog? Yes, I do. Oh, it's us. Oh, where can my Katie be? The beef took her away from me. Wow.
Starting point is 01:50:28 She's moved to shutdown so I got to subscribe So I can be alerted when the eye goes live Sing the bridge. Yeah. That was lovely. That was very nice. Thank you, Jay. I'm trying to end it. I know, right?
Starting point is 01:50:47 You want it to be over so bad. I know. His foot's keeping time to nothing. Oh, yeah. Killer to win the act goes live. Yay. Good job, Jay. That was great.
Starting point is 01:51:20 Damn, Zaw's really crying. What was the sass line? It was like when sass. That was beautiful. Cod plight. His cod plight? was like when sass and cod plight. Cod plight? His cod plight? His something plight. Cod plight.
Starting point is 01:51:29 Oh, call of duty plight. Cod plight. Cod plight. I was thinking of the fish. That's the one to have. All right, maybe a quick sparkle. Quick sparkle. Last one for quick sparkle.
Starting point is 01:51:39 This is the one I win. You have an NBA player to hang out with. Huh? You have an NBA player to hang out with. Why don't you scram? Yeah, fuck you guys.
Starting point is 01:51:45 I didn't even like him. Oh, I saw the answers, and I just knew I didn't know anything on that one. Why does it always have to be a quick Sporkle? Why can't it be a slow Sporkle? I only play Sporkle. He has his interview at three. An interview. You guys can keep playing.
Starting point is 01:51:58 All right, yeah. The kind of guy that wants to play Sporkle all day. One actor who played Tony Soprano in the original series. Two most recent years. Kansas won the men's basketball tournament. Three names of the Kardashian sisters. Four all-time career leading rushers for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Let's do no Great Lakes.
Starting point is 01:52:16 Five Great Lakes. Why? Six. We always have it. Eminem colors. Seven founding fathers of the U.S. Eight teams in the 2020 NLDS and ALDS. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:52:28 Nine Skywalker Saga movie titles. Ten Heisman winners from 2013. What is nine Skywalkers Saga? All the main series Star Wars. Okay. All right. Go ahead, Sass. Who won last?
Starting point is 01:52:43 No, did I? Maybe you just start. Sass, get the fuck up. Sass, get the fuck up. I'm trying. Shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 01:52:56 My fat friend wants to sit down. You can't stand for that long. All right. Why don't you just type in the Great Lakes now? Yeah, go ahead. No, Blue Poos doesn't have those. Candlefeeny. Shit.
Starting point is 01:53:13 Rucker's Lump. Shit. Can we pull up Mincy's most recent tweet? Oh, no. F-I-N-I. Oh, no. What do you do? I think you might have...
Starting point is 01:53:22 I don't know if he's making a joke or not. What happened? His most recent tweet? Yeah, Instagram, I think you might have... I don't know if he's making a joke or not. What happened? It's most recent tweet? Yeah, Instagram, I think. Instagram. It might be tweet. Instagram.
Starting point is 01:53:35 This might rock. Nothing better than a new Mincy. Yeah, the one with the watch. Zoom in on the date. I think he has his watch permanently sent to the first of the watch. Zoom in on the date. I think he has his watch permanently sent to the first of the month. No. That watch isn't moving. Just as a reminder.
Starting point is 01:54:00 It's also at 2 o'clock. Yeah, I think that watch has just never been turned on. It's never been touched. Well, it fits, though. First of the month. Get up, get up. Get up, get up. It's the first of the month. Reminds me of how he got there.
Starting point is 01:54:12 Oh, yeah. Probably a way better job. Wake up, wake up. Way better. It's the first of the month. What have you done? All right, Kim Kardashian. Sorry for the interruption.
Starting point is 01:54:24 Kim, Kim, Kim., Kim Kardashian. Sorry for the interruption. Kim, Kim, Kim. Khloe Kardashian. Ew. Kourtney. Cole Kardashian. Oh, my God, Boos. Did you guys see that he did Gandolfini with a P-H?
Starting point is 01:54:41 Kourtney. He did G-A-N-D-O-l-p-h-i-n-i oh you i'm not gonna be able to finish this game yeah this is yeah uh i'll do maurice jones drew nice blue oh shit Nice. Blue. Oh, shit. Damn it. For M&M's? Oh, you got it. Yeah, Blue's an M&M. I think it was original.
Starting point is 01:55:14 It was not original. Oh, it definitely wasn't original. I remember when Blue came out. When is the Blue M&M the year it came out? Yeah. Saved by the book. Sheesh. 2022.
Starting point is 01:55:35 Devontae Smith. Go, booze. The Empire Strikes Back. Dodgers. I will do A New Hope. I'm glad you did that because I thought it was The Last Hope. Glad you cleared that one out of the way. Huron.
Starting point is 01:56:15 No, we're not doing lakes. KB's out. KB's out. KB, you're out. You're out. You're out. No, no, no. KB stays. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:56:24 What's his name? Fred. Get up. Get up. Get up. It's the first of the month. Fred Armisen. Thomas Jefferson.
Starting point is 01:56:35 Get some yayo. Fred Taylor. Yep. The Return of the Jedi. Astros. Nice. And athletics. Nice.
Starting point is 01:56:53 Oh. Astros. Nice. Revenge of the Sith. All right, big heads out. Out. Loser. Yellow.
Starting point is 01:57:11 Red. Kyler Murray. The Force Awakens. Pretty good names. Really good names. The Phantom Menace. How could you spell that, but you couldn't spell... He's a fucking dork, dude. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:57:41 He always spells the Eagles players the right way. Kate? Oh, shit. Yeah, that's true. He always spells the Eagles players the right way. Kate? Oh, shit. Green. John Hancock. Hancock. I don't think he was a founding father. Oh.
Starting point is 01:58:01 I think he was just presiding over the Continental Congress. You might have been looking for John Adams? I meant John Hancock. Red, yellow, green, blue, brown, orange. Attack of the Clones. George Washington.
Starting point is 01:58:38 I got an idea for one, but I don't know if it's going to count. Baker Mayfield. Heisman Trophy winners. Joe Burrow. Nice. The Rise of Skywalker. Ooh, Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. That one sucked.
Starting point is 01:59:22 Yeah, that one was genuinely... James Madison. Those last three were bad. Force Awakens I didn't hate. Rise of Skywalker was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Ben Franklin. There was
Starting point is 01:59:33 one of those last three that didn't there was no no lightsabers ever touched. Yeah. I'm gonna go I don't know if this counts but I'm gonna go with Rogue One.
Starting point is 01:59:42 It doesn't. Yeah. fuck. Heisman Trophy winners. Heisman Trophy winners. Did Mariota win one? Yeah. John Hancock? Did someone ever say that?
Starting point is 02:00:12 Yeah, someone said that. Shit. I'm just going to tap myself out. There's no way. What's the second one? I can't see. The two most NCAA basketball tournaments? Recent years.
Starting point is 02:00:27 Kansas University won the NCAA. 2019. There's no way. I was convinced. Oh, shit. Kyle. I don't know if Kyle's out. Me or Ron. It's good to lose one more time.
Starting point is 02:00:47 Texting with the movers. Very exciting. Should be fine. That's been winners. Leonard Fournette for the Jags rusher. Shit. FOU, maybe? FOU. Nice. Shit. FOU maybe. Nice.
Starting point is 02:01:07 Wow. Caleb Williams. So what Rogue One wasn't a Skywalker. It's an outsider Skywalker. Yeah it's a different story. The Cardinals. Shit.
Starting point is 02:01:42 That's a dumb quote. What do you tip movers on a drive like that I have no idea on a long ass drive I don't know Um Windrun Fucking shit Fuck me Sass did you look up the The one Star Wars one we're missing Yeah Fucking shit. Fuck me.
Starting point is 02:02:08 Sass, did you look up the one Star Wars one we're missing? Yeah. It's completely blank. Uh-oh. What? Look at you. Look at you Look at you Oh shit Oh it's Bev
Starting point is 02:02:28 Um Did Najee Harris win? No he didn't We're both back in I should have been thinking You said you were focused on that God damn superstar He's gonna catch us
Starting point is 02:02:46 playing Sporkle again. This is embarrassing. Stop playing this game. Hello, how's it going? Hello, hello. What up? Nice to see you. How you doing? We're playing Sporkle again. You hate him. Heisman Trophy winners.
Starting point is 02:03:08 It was a stretch of all quarterbacks for a while, wasn't it? Oh, can anyone win? Let's see here Anyone can win the Heisman What's the weirdest position to ever win one? A D-back one I think Charles Woodson was like a D-back 97 97 D-back? Yeah. 97? Let's go.
Starting point is 02:03:30 Did Jared Goff win it? I don't know. I don't think so. I was thinking of first overall picks then. Rone for the win? Sherman. General Sherman? No, I thought there was a Sherman who was one of the founding fathers. Like, who was the delegate from New York?
Starting point is 02:03:55 You want to just spite the game? Call it a tie? Hell no. It's a baseball team. Oh, yeah. We just got baseball teams. Oh, I wish I had seen that. Baseball teams in 2020.
Starting point is 02:04:04 Oh, yes. discuss baseball teams. Oh, I wish I had seen that on the teams in 2020. The Brewers. Fuck. The Yankees. Oh, man. There it is. There it is. All right.
Starting point is 02:04:20 Sad loss. It was the last Jedi. Winston. Derrick Henry. Oh, fuck. That's what I was trying to think of. And Lamar Jackson. Lamar Derrick. How old is Lamar Jackson?
Starting point is 02:04:29 Oh, Alexander Hamilton and John Jay. He's still young. John Jay was an accomplished guy. John Jay. He has a high school, doesn't he? He has a college here. He's got a law. He does.
Starting point is 02:04:42 Lamar Jackson's 26. Damn. Young buck. All right. All right. All right. whoo Mars Jackson's 26 damn young buck um alright alright I'll see you guys when I see ya damn
Starting point is 02:04:52 great day for the haters send some photos uh of the of the house see if it's regular size I can't wait to see I can't wait to see
Starting point is 02:04:59 so I'm excited for that and then I think I'll be back for some days that August too I wanna go to Stu's house I wanna cannonball in the pool. I had you picked for a jackknife kind of gal. A little bit of both. A little bit of both.
Starting point is 02:05:10 You like to be thrown around cannonballs while you're pregnant? I think so. There's ladies running marathons. It makes you really garbage. There's CrossFit ladies at nine months. Those kids always come out cockeyed, though. But I'm going to miss everybody, and I'm excited for it to regather and you guys.
Starting point is 02:05:27 Yeah, good luck with the move. I hope it all goes great and with the drive. Document the drive. It should be more sentimental with you and Sass. Yeah. Well, Sass and I are so close.
Starting point is 02:05:35 It's going to be tough for both of us. You guys are going to be back in like a week. Yeah. Yeah, so. Much love to everybody. I guess, yeah,
Starting point is 02:05:42 I'll see everyone in August and bye. Bye. Yeah. I'll see everyone in August and. Bye. Bye. Yeah. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk shop and do Yankees love. It's the act. It's the act.

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