The Yak - KB and Nick Return To A Massive Day on The Wheel || The Yak 6-6-22
Episode Date: June 6, 2022Always HasYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Oh, look at that.
Look who's back.
Look who...
Oh, me.
Yeah, Nick.
I thought there was something going on.
What's going on, boys?
Maybe he's late.
Yeah.
You know, I saw him a minute ago.
Yep.
I have the zine that Nick got for me as a gift.
I did.
Just to fucking...
His love language is obviously gift-giving,
and dude, I love you back, dude. Thanks, man. Whoa. Minus to fucking, his love language is obviously gift giving and dude,
I love you back, dude.
Thanks, man.
Whoa. And his physical touch,
so I'm gonna need that dick in my mouth.
Look how nice that is.
Where's my gift?
I got it in my bag over there.
Can I have it?
No, because I forgot it at home.
Shit.
I do have a gift for you.
It's great to see you, Nick.
Thank you.
It's a beautiful zine, dude.
It's artist representations
of their favorite Looney Tunes backdrops.
Whoa, and there he is.
Hey, yo.
AB just, you know, coming in fashionably late.
That's my dog.
Right here, too.
We have to...
Caught up tearing.
What's up, dude?
What is up?
Missed you boys.
You got caught up tearing?
Tearing.
Damn.
How did you manage to get bigger on the road?
Yeah, you look jacked.
All the hotel gyms just have glamour workouts.
I was just hitting the dumbbells.
So catch us up. Tell us
what's happening. We'll tell you what's
happening. I don't know. We didn't really have anything happen.
First of all, I need a better wedgie for
Che. Agreed.
Yeah. Okay. Agreed. I need his
tootsies dangling. Agreed.
He needs a new wedgie. And Che,
look at me. I'm being dead serious.
Look at me. I'm looking at at me I need your tootsies
Dangling
Dangling
I'm wearing shoes
You hear what he's saying though?
Tootsies lie beneath the shoes
Regardless of shoe or not
Your tootsies will still be dangling
I want socks off
I want to see the
I want to see the toes
I want to see a little flip flap
Like you're trying to
You know swim
Can you promise that?
I want orgasm toes.
I got a cornucopia of dry poop up my nostrils for mine.
Your tootsies area dangle.
Maybe a little Charlie horse.
You're just kind of dangling.
Ah, shit.
Yeah.
And maybe the physics of it, we need to get it from both sides,
and it needs to be a tighty-wighty.
Mm-hmm.
We'll do it.
Won't be tight for long.
We'll do it.
Probably won't be white either.
No, knowing you.
I want your threads to dissect your hemorrhoids.
We'll redo it.
In the middle.
I need to buy a crane.
Are you going against the wheel?
Plus, I was bummed to miss it.
What?
Are you going against the wheel?
But are you going against the people? The wheel is just. I listen to the to miss it. What? Are you going against the wheel? But are you going against the people?
The wheel is just.
I listened to the wheel.
Jesus.
What's the wheel without the people?
What made that a hanging wedgie, though?
Yeah.
If you weren't hanging for a second.
I was literally hanging.
He was dropped.
How about we do a wedgie where I give you a wedgie, but then we have a noose around your neck?
And we hang you.
I offered to just have you guys give me a wedgie.
That's a vice?
A hanging wedgie?
Dan, I'm content with that.
Okay, all right.
So maybe we'll do that.
How long do you think you could hang?
I mean, I think it should look like if you were just looking at his,
below his legs to the ground,
it should look like he hung himself.
Yeah, right, right.
That's not what it looks like.
I think what was hard about it is that the wedge,
it obviously came from behind,
and that was the part that was not showing.
So to you and Brandon, it was very funny because you could see it,
but that was not the area.
That was my take.
I think you have wide butt cheeks.
The underwear went straight up.
There was no fight back.
He has no butt cheeks.
He has a very thin butt.
No, but the crack, you have a wide crack.
That's fair.
What's up, Stanko? What's up, Stanko?
What's up, Stanko?
How's it going?
Stanko.
Dude, my gay ass feels like I missed an entire fiscal quarter.
You did.
I know.
What the fuck has been going on?
Wait a second.
Your gay ass is so much.
It's your month, bro.
Say what?
I said my gay ass feels like I missed almost all of a calendar year, and I was only gone for two weeks.
Every day I watched.
Done with two weeks.
You guys weren't gone two weeks, so you guys were gone for two weeks, and then you came
back for like a day, and then you were gone for two weeks again.
Yeah, it's true.
You were gone four of the last five.
Vacation, baby.
We're living.
No vacation was had.
Why did they schedule that over memorial day
weekend for you guys isn't that like a pretty big didn't you guys do rediscovering on like
christmas last year yeah every major holiday every major holiday we've been uh with donnie
well let me ask you this did you guys fuck each other no hell no you get some no i heard there
were people in putin bay just being like kb, KB. Put-in-Bay was disgusting. Ran through this town.
We did not, no.
The lobby of our hotel was a subway.
I heard one person did.
That's cool.
I heard Fasoli was rolling in it.
Fasoli got no draws.
He did?
Not a single thread.
I heard him trying.
Was he having mudslides?
He did.
He had mudslides.
He was a delight.
He was so crazy.
Did he ever stop smiling?
No. Did you hear any conversations he had with his mama? When we were in Buffalo, he got mad at a boat captain. The mudslide is so crazy Did he ever stop smiling? No
Did you hear any conversations
With his mama?
When we were in Buffalo
He got mad at like a boat captain
We had
Cause the guy was like
We were in Buffalo
And the tour guide was like
Josh Allen could throw it over this river
And I just heard
So could Tom Brady
I just looked
It was Vasoli pissed
Tom Brady's dick this morning
Looked fucking stunning though
That was a big fat cock
He's got a fat cock.
He's got a huge dick.
Of course he does.
Of course he does.
Rich get rich.
It would have been awesome if he just had a little tiny pee-pee.
Because I saw those underpants.
I was like, you wouldn't even know that my dick was in there if I was wearing those.
And you could see it from the side.
Yeah.
A lot of it.
There's so many silver linings to be in uglier cities of America.
Look at this fat cock.
Look at this.
Look at that bulge from the side.
And he does this move right here.
Bulge from the side.
That's just not fair.
Oh, my God.
That's not fair.
It's huge.
It looks like it starts high up.
Oh, my God.
Now he's like, oh, stop getting my fat cock.
You see how they cover the camera with the towel before you see the full body shot?
I think that's Kevin Bonner as a body double.
Oh, my God.
It might be.
It might be Bonner's cock.
It is Bonner's cock.
Notice when Brady
covers up his cock
with his hand,
he doesn't know
whether to cover up
the top half
or the bottom half.
Too much cock.
He's got big hands.
Yes.
Quarterback.
Big ass hands.
When I cover up my cock,
I just go like this
with one single finger.
Yeah.
Like that.
Uh-huh.
When I cover up my cock,
I just show it.
Fucking show it.
Yeah, I came back to Manhattan Saturday.
Beautiful day.
Yeah.
I was just, I was animalistic.
Really?
The amount of the women.
Oh.
Walking around growling.
Yeah, you were.
I did hear you do that.
Fucking wild animals.
Did you go to darts?
I can turn into like a little puma. What kind of growl are we talking about? Like a growling. Yeah, you were. I did hear you do that. You're a fucking wild animal. Did you go to darts? You can turn into
like a little puma.
What kind of growl
are we talking about?
Like a big one
or like a little?
Just more mental.
Mentally growling.
Oh, I missed darts.
It looked awesome.
Darts looked incredible.
TJ, was it awesome?
It was funny.
I don't know how fun it was.
It was the fucking best.
By the way,
I heard there's
maybe some hubbub going around,
that people are upset they didn't get invited.
They only had 54 tickets.
Not only that, but we're all adults.
If you want to go to something, just go to it.
Yeah.
It does feel good, though, getting the invite from Greer.
I was watching on Instagram stories,
and there was a moment where I was like,
should I just go to darts right now? And I could have just gone to darts. Yeah, could have gone to darts. watching the on like you know instagram stories and there was a moment where i was like should i
just go to darts right now and i could have just gone to darts i could have gone to darts who was
upset name names i don't know i saw michelangelo had publicly upset it looked like he was upset
yeah he's doing a little petty boy tweet let's go to darts bro dude owen that shirt is also
fucking sick dude it is you look like like Vince Vaughn in swingers.
I appreciate that.
I'm low on laundry.
It's usually a beach shirt, but here we are.
Can we zoom in on the darts group picture?
Owen looks so fucking hot in that photo.
It took me a while to realize.
That he was hot?
That it was me?
No, it was so many people.
It was like a reverse cheerleader effect of ugly men.
And I saw you, and I was like, oh.
Yeah.
How far in advance did you guys buy those shirts?
I made mine the day of.
I forgot to buy one.
I think people bought them a few weeks out.
Zoom in on Model Owen.
Oh, yeah, that does look very homemade.
What a crew that darts crew.
All dudes, too, dude.
Like, fucking the boys are just out.
I was also shocked, though.
I thought we were going to stick out like sore thumbs.
We were like the least costumed people.
Yeah, there was people in nuns' outfits, dressed as Simpsons.
Just like Halloween costumes.
People just go dressed up.
The Oompa Loompas were Yak fans.
Really?
Yeah.
Huh.
Eddie Hearn. They all are. They all go to. Huh? Eddie Hearn was trying to say, like,
Barstool needs to start covering darts at that fight.
He was like, dude, that's the next thing that Barstool should do
play-by-play commentary for.
It would be pretty sweet.
It would be.
Were people shit-faced?
Is there a next sport, though?
I think we're good.
We're more than set.
We're more than set. Dude, more than set. But how come other
countries have whole other different sports that
they love? And they're always
not quite that.
The sports going on in Ireland
are preposterous. Yeah, and they're always with a hammer.
Yeah, they have hammers and big ass
sticks and shit.
Cheese. Cheese?
Irish just adapt to sports, right?
They do like Gaelic football, Gaelic everything.
They have the one with...
Gaelic hockey.
Yeah, Gaelic hockey.
Gaelic equestrian.
I will say this.
I'll say this.
I'm on record being like a cynic
when it comes to excellent food.
I always thought that the disparity between good and great was very thin.
The wing nuts, wings, they're the best.
We're the best.
The best ever.
There was like a clear, clear disparity between the next best.
It's ruined wings.
Their flavors, their milds, their hots, their mediums aren't just mild,
hot, mediums.
They're flavors.
Right.
They're incredible. And good that Ed hot. They're flavors. Right. They're incredible.
And good that Ed is back on his feet.
Yep.
He just got two days removed from quadruple bypass.
Stayed late.
He was like, apologize if I start wheezing mid-sentence.
Because of the fucking wound.
What a host.
Gigantic wound.
And he did start wheezing and Kyle demanded he apologize.
Yeah.
By the way, TJ, can you get in the lobby real quick?
Buffalo is awesome.
It is.
People of Buffalo.
But the people, they all seem like they're peaking on their first ever dose of Vyvanse.
They're so fucking talkative.
They're the most inquisitive bunch of them all.
Oh, yeah, you guys have been on the bot trip.
Oh, wait.
Oh, that's a completely different one.
Oh.
That looks like an IED, dude.
Yeah, dude.
What the fuck?
Check it out.
I need someone.
Nick, I'm going to give it to you so that you can figure out how to use it.
Deal.
Look it.
Zoom in.
We got a TJ.
We're going to figure out a way.
It can spy on people.
Yeah, I'm looking at your-
Look at my phone, TJ.
Good.
Oh, damn.
We're just naturally avoiding it.
See, it's got the camera that shows it.
What?
Go in Erica's office.
Go in Erica's time.
There's a little crack in the door.
Go in Erica's office.
Try.
You must be doing token.
That guy doesn't even notice.
Oh, yeah.
No, he doesn't even notice.
He doesn't even notice.
Little bug.
He doesn't have...
I love how it just goes sideways so easily.
What is it capturing?
What is it capturing?
It's video and audio.
Uh-oh. Do we have that? Get it closer. What is it capturing? It's video and audio. Uh-oh.
Do we have that?
Get it closer.
I have it on my phone.
On your phone?
Can we put it up?
It's not looking.
Let's get it closer.
I don't know.
We got to figure that out.
Look, yeah, we're going to start spying on these.
Throw some kicks.
Yeah, TJ, I'll give you the whole thing, and you can set it up.
Oh, oh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You got to be active, too, though. You you the whole thing and you can set it up. Oh, oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got to be active too, though.
You've got to be like a drone pilot.
I know.
Edwin's going to boot it, dude.
It's not really working.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, is he a little scared?
Yeah, Brink, can you put it in Erica's office?
I'm trying, but I don't know if it's got like.
You're not, no no offense you're not too
good on the controls dude it's not I'm doing I'm like fucking jamming it right now all right either
way we'll we'll figure it out I would like we're all we're embarrassing ourselves in front of the
no they don't know if they don't see it no look at the ground look at I'm just looking at that
right now oh no shit oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa the fuck was that staring looking at that right now. Oh, no. Shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a threat. Too soon, bro.
Whoa.
What the fuck was that?
Look, it's staring right at that girl.
Yeah, look, we'll distract him with the camera in here.
Who are these people?
Do they all work here?
I don't know.
He can't film our camera.
Whoa.
What is this, the PLL?
Are these PLL folk?
Oh, you think they are?
Gotta be.
They look, they have a PLL vibe.
They do. I feel like I nailed that. They have a PLL vibe. They do.
I feel like I nailed that.
Is Rabel in there right now?
No.
Rabel might be in there.
You're making good progress.
This thing rules.
I need...
Oh, here we go.
That's a straight shot.
Oh, you got a straight shot.
Can it get there?
Can it get there?
Let's see what Rabel's doing.
What kicks do you think Rabel has on?
Some 270s?
We'll find out in a second, boys.
I think Rabel's going to be rocking Burks.
Oh, shit.
It is.
Sockless Burks.
All right, I'll keep trying to move it.
You don't have to stay on it, TJ.
I can see it from here.
So, yeah, so you guys, wingnuts, it's the best thing ever.
Yeah, it was so good.
And the chicken is so good
everything
the vibe is so good
the blue cheese
had a secret ingredient
I know what it is
but I won't say
what is it
let's go
was that secret
uh yeah
okay yeah
I'm not saying
let's cut the cameras
I'll start
I can start doing it
to my blue cheese
Ed had a big
horse radish
on our camera
did horse radish
to get the algorithms right
but yeah
fuck I feel like all of Buffalo's cuisine is good Buffalo's is dope their pizza's good It had a big magnet on our camera. Did horseradish? To get the algorithms right, but yeah.
Fuck.
I feel like all of Buffalo's cuisine is good. Buffalo's is dope.
Their pizza's good.
Best people in the world.
It's like if a Midwest city was hooked on C4 instead of Oxycodone.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were very aggressive.
Yeah, it's a clean aggression, not a pill-based aggression.
Nothing brings people together like organized combat and violence.
Yeah, everybody there loves physical altercation, but in a very kind way. Not a pill-based aggression. Nothing brings people together like organized combat and violence.
Yeah, everybody there loves physical altercation,
but in a very kind way.
What do you mean?
Oh, I'm doing it.
It's getting in.
Everybody there is in a professional wrestling gym.
We went to one.
Yeah.
Got fucked up. I got the ever-living shit kicked out of me.
I have a newfound respect for it.
Yeah.
Is it in?
Oh, no.
What do you see?
Oh, it's getting stuck on the fucking door frame.
Oh, fuck.
Someone's got to go in there and get it, Owen.
Oh, I can see her.
It's a most terrain vehicle.
That's an MTV.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
Not like that.
Damn it.
Okay, but the Dorothy foot.
I forgot that a human could just move that thing.
She did not like that.
Self-destruct.
The Dorothy foot. Fuck. All right, so what other highlights? Did anyone fight? move that thing. She did not like that. Self-destruct.
The Dorothy foot.
Fuck.
Alright, so what other highlights? Did anyone fight?
Did you guys get in fights? I got kicked out of Dante's bar. Yeah, it was embarrassing.
And you almost got kicked out of Dante's
second bar. I took a shot
and I had to throw up, so
I cut the line. That's the worst
feeling in the world when you know it. What would you have done?
The morally correct thing is to cut the line and get it out of you.
I would have swallowed my throat.
But the bouncer did carry you out.
The line was pumped about it.
Yeah, that's what they do.
They love that.
I dapped them up like Bingo Smith.
They were feeling like, we get it.
We're glad you didn't throw up on our shoes or something.
Yeah.
And then they kicked you out.
And they kicked you out and we went to Dante's next bar.
And you went right behind the bar and started making people
drinks. Dante ran up
to you and said, hey, do you know how to work the system to pay
people? And you say, no, they've just been
Venmoing me. You made like $300.
Ballpark.
I would have just swallowed my throw up.
Dante just
runs Cleveland, huh?
He does.
He runs multiple cities.
He chooses, yeah.
How was Donnie?
Donnie was Donnie.
Donnie was Donnie.
He was good.
He was good.
Yeah, he was good.
Spirits, he was glad to be back in the States, but he's already gone back to Italy.
So sick.
Yeah.
Jealous of him.
He came to darts.
Yeah, he did.
Oh, fuck.
We got back from a two-week trip, and Donnie's like,
all right, I'm going to go to darts.
I was just...
He got the invite, but we didn't.
I think he just went.
As a man could.
Yes, as a man could.
Large showed up.
Yeah.
I heard he got kicked out.
Darts?
Shit.
Too tall.
Too tall for darts.
Who was the tallest dude in the group when Large got kicked out?
Greer?
It was probably Greer up until he got there, yeah
Who else was taller than that?
Is Large taller than Greer?
Oh, yeah
Yeah
Really?
I saw your
He hides it well
You guys got flamed for your jersey pick
Oh, yeah, we got the jerseys
We had jerseys
They were digging into us
We still have them
What kind of routine have you been secretly on?
Yeah, we still have them
Your arms looked huge.
Pilates.
Yeah, that was sick.
I've been trying to get you to come to this Pilates class.
It's not Pilates.
Oh, we went to Wheeling, too.
Forgot about that.
Oh, yeah.
I saw you.
Yeah, that was a brutal one-man clapping for both Kyle and I.
That's one hand for each of us.
But then you got it back when I shouted you out in the local newspaper.
Yeah, we made the Wheeling Intelligence.
You had me as the assistant to in the local newspaper. Yeah, we made the Wheeling Intelligence.
You had me as the assistant to Dave Portnoy.
Yeah.
I pulled some strings.
Yeah.
To get you upgraded to that.
Yeah.
Parents pumped about that article?
It's on the fridge. My mom was the one who sent it to me.
On the side of the fridge, front stainless steel.
Still a daily paper reader.
I'm magnetic.
Love it.
That was my only intention when that guy came up and interviewed me.
Daily papers are sweet.
I'm a proponent for
physical papers forever ink on your fingers and the best thing to read while you shit like it's
so much better than scrolling your phone while you shit and sticking silly putty to it yeah
sticking silly putty and getting the words back yeah do they come off the page or do they double
doubles it's it's a it's a moral it's a quand It is. That doesn't make sense physically.
Sass, how was Arlington?
Oh, it was good.
I was on the show.
Yeah, so was Roan.
Oh, he called you?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, the late shows were crazy.
People whose call was funny.
It wasn't much of a, they both said the exact same thing.
What did you say?
I said the exact same thing.
Sass called me at like 11 o'clock.
You said, did you do a racist joke?
No, he called me at 11 o'clock on Friday. I picked up. I was actually exact same thing. Sass called me at like 11 o'clock. You said, did you do a racist joke? No, I said, he called me at 11 o'clock on Friday.
I picked up.
I was actually out to dinner.
I was coming back.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and then he's like, I'm bombing right now, and they wanted me to call you.
And I was like, well, did you try your N-word joke yet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then Rowan said, did you, said basically the same thing?
Yeah, but Rowan didn't say N-word.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, I just said no.
He won two battle raps.
Yeah.
So I wasn't bombing. You said said you were bombing i was kidding oh yeah very well i had some plants that told me yeah no it was it was very fun i think people had a really fun time
the the second the late shows i did not do comedy i think it's special you were she soon
it was basically the late show they were just yelling at me to take my shirt off the entire
time fuck and you did it you wouldn't i wouldn't know how it would have been for one million comedy. You think it's Special E. Weshie soon? It was basically the late show. They were just yelling at me to take my shirt off the entire time. Fuck.
And you did it? You wouldn't. I wouldn't, no.
Wow, it would have been a pop. For $1 million.
Think about the laughs. Well, yeah, think about the pop.
And then you just start telling
Bert's machine story.
When you do your special,
you should take off your shirt. That should be
part of the selling. And then maybe have, like, pierced
nipples. Yeah, maybe. It was really fun, though.
It was a great weekend. That's awesome. It awesome went very well all the shows sold out it was awesome
damn dc is a beautiful city when it's nice out are you rich now no i uh walked around i went to
the white house yesterday really yeah because he's sleeping yeah was he in the basement yeah
sleepy joe you heard that jill's fucking someone from the Secret Service? Is that true?
Really?
I believe it.
You think the yak was ever in play in the White House ever?
Oh, yeah.
100%.
That's fast.
No.
I bet Barron's a yak fan.
Definitely not.
Barron definitely has gotten a clip sent to him.
A huge yak.
Well, Barron High 9-11 bit made its way there.
Yeah.
Maybe like one of the staffers, the maintenance guys.
Probably.
We could probably get someone.
Or like Sass, you could have played it while you were in there yesterday.
Yeah.
Just walking around.
Or what if Kamala Harris just loves Tank Thursday?
Oh, yeah.
And she's like.
She only listens to that, yeah.
Yeah, she's the one person in the comments being like, I love Tank Thursday.
It's just.
I love Tank. Fuck it. It's just... I love Tank.
Fuck it.
He's going to be back soon.
He threw a football down in Alabama.
Yeah, I saw that.
Yeah.
Great.
I brushed my teeth this morning.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Clip it.
Here we go.
I got to get this out there.
Hold on, hold on. Anybody else doing this thing?
Hold on, hold on.
I brushed my teeth and...
Okay, all right.
I'm listening.
My toothbrush was leaning up against a bottle of cologne.
Okay.
And my mouth just tastes like cologne.
Oh.
It's really throwing me off.
You gotta get to the bottom of this.
Yeah, it's like my mouth is like hot with cologne.
What do you think it was?
Cologne.
Oh, okay.
I just had to get it out there in case it just spray cologne on the toothbrush.
It just spontaneously died.
No, my toothbrush was leaning directly up against the squirter are you gonna try to have that not happen again yeah
that'll be good you're gonna be like the new jersey italian women are throwing their pussies
at my mouth that's actually that would be funny just work that workshop that well it wasn't it
was more just a statement it wasn't supposed to be an observational comedy exactly you're like
this actually happened a couple hours ago i think that happened in seinfeld the cologne toothbrush so is the cologne
like a commentary on like the mental health stigma movement or like jesus christ
what was your uh what was your set like was it all a bunch of new shit
no there was basically nothing new there's a
couple new stuff but it was mostly stuff i thought it was like the longest thing you've ever done
though yeah but i have like i did like i have like i did like 45 minutes on the second show
i could have done more but i was only supposed to do like 30 to 40 that's fucking go to dude
that's a lot of time yeah i was so nervous for the first, the early show on Friday.
Because I was like, I don't even, like, I've never done that long.
So I was like, I hope I have that long.
And you did.
Yeah.
Crushed it.
Crushed it.
Yeah, it was fun.
Fucking killed, dude.
Yeah.
Thanks for everyone that came out.
It was really fun.
Hell yeah.
Awesome.
Great shit to ask for.
Are you guys back now for good?
Yeah.
Never leaving again?
August.
We go to Alaska. New Orleans? August, we go to Alaska.
New Orleans?
No, that's for Halloween.
When's Alaska the longest day light?
June.
Probably now.
June 21st.
Do you have a canker sore?
Of what?
What are you doing?
He's been licking his mouth a lot.
Do you have a canker sore?
Do you have a zinnia?
No, I just sometimes adopt an intentional
lisp. When I do talk normally,
people are like, oh yeah, wow, that sounded good.
You beat it, yeah.
That's really smart.
That's really smart.
It's just mundane combo. I'll do the lisp.
I have an
important thing to say.
Take the lisp off. Little white men can't
jump. Yeah, it's like a change up.
You know, setting them up.
I'm guessing.
This robot sucks, by the way.
I can't move it anywhere.
Is it out of range?
Can you get a refund?
I don't know.
I thought it had longer range.
I need a long range robot.
You need to get like a military grade robot.
Yeah.
This one was expensive.
It was like 300 bucks.
Really?
Really?
For that?
It's supposed to be good. You can run
programs where it can just do a loop
of the entire office.
What happened with the
interns? How were the interns?
They were good.
That didn't sound good.
Didn't you interview them?
Yeah, some of them were okay.
That's like a different style of...
Who was memorable? Lee.
Lee is the only one that really sticks out because of his look.
He's just a 6'5". Were none of them electric?
280 mullet guy.
Nobody was electric.
Delco from Delco.
Who was electric?
Anyone, Owen?
Connor's doing clips for the Yak.
Oh, shout out to Connor.
That's electric.
That's electric for sure.
Clipping video.
Yeah, no, there was nothing.
None of them really stood out.
They're nervous.
They just got in.
Yeah.
Can't be themselves yet.
The women were empowered.
Oh, good.
They were.
Kate empowered them,
which is a problem.
We're going to have to
take care of that.
Shout out Kate,
but no more of that.
Shout out Kate.
Shout out Kate.
No, Kate is now
a part of the yak. Yeah. Tell her to come on whenever. Tell her to come on now. I don now part of the Yak.
Tell her to come on whenever.
Tell her to come on now.
I don't know where she is.
I think she's...
Is she perma-chaired?
Yes, she is.
I mean, I'm going to be out Thursday and Friday and Monday.
I'm not telling them no.
I'm not going to change my ways just because a girl's on the Yak.
I'm still going to hate women.
We know that.
Okay.
Brandon is out because his father passed away.
If you're wondering who were the last people to text him on pic central and the yak it's exactly who you expected sass
and mincey yeah like i texted him i wasn't on my phone i was that one more i wasn't on my phone and
i texted him as soon as i saw the message not soon as soon as i saw as soon as i saw as soon as he
asked you to no i didn't even see that until after I texted him.
It's okay.
We all expected it.
Did you see us hosting Brandon Walker Show?
Oh, yeah.
KB and Nick.
Oh, really?
Oh, and Jeff D. Lowe.
Yeah.
And Owen.
I guess they could have scaled us three down and put Owen with us, but.
And you guys asked Jeff D. Lowe what's up with the high school yearbook quotes on his Instagram after every weekend summer?
Oh, I have no idea.
I didn't see them.
As we go on.
Having a good time.
Fight him and see, baby.
Ask him if he's going to do that all summer.
He will.
He did it last summer, too.
He did.
Yeah, but that's just D'Lo.
All right.
I didn't know what to expect.
Cool guy, Jeff.
Saw it week two.
It was a bunch of inside jokes that I didn't get.
Can we get Brandon to list the order in which we all texted him?
Oh, yeah.
I want to know exactly.
I actually have a payment.
I brought a pack of presents for Brandon.
Is that a funeral today?
Today's the funeral.
Let's call him.
Let's prank him.
Call him, yes.
I'm fine with it morally.
There it is.
Barking dog.
Finally, Sonny, her name is Bert.
Barker.
Oh, je name is Bert. Her name is Bert is definitely like that was a funny moment.
What is this?
What does that mean?
Probably a cab driver.
It's probably picture by picture description of what we have him.
Just should we have him on Mondays come in and explain everything?
I would like that.
That would be awesome.
Can you go grab him, Steven?
I would like to the explanation of all these. Can you go grab him, Steven? I would like an explanation of all these jokes.
And maybe grab my robot, too.
It's stuck.
I think Erica probably fucking...
Yeah, she kicked it.
Smashed that thing.
I missed you guys a lot.
I missed you guys.
It feels right.
You know who kind of carried the yak?
Owen.
Owen did.
Owen was eating, dude.
Good boy. Owen was fucking, dude. Good boy.
Owen was fucking shooting.
And I think that if all of Barstool was up for a print photo shoot competition,
I think Owen would win it, dude.
I think Owen serves looks like nobody in this bitch.
And he's got just the natural frame for fucking making clothes look good on it.
This might be the summer of Owen.
Owen, do you have any counterpoints?
No, no. You want to refute that?
Put yourself down real quick.
Here's your chance before we do it.
And time.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't agree with most of what you said, but I appreciate it.
You're always humble, dude.
I don't want to leave anymore, though.
So humble.
I want to be on the show every day.
All right, then don't.
All right, deal. I saw Joe Rogan the other, though. I'm so humble. I want to be on the show every day. All right, then don't. All right, deal.
I saw Joe Rogan the other night.
Where?
Yep, he did.
At a bar.
Really?
Not just a bar, brother.
What kind of bar?
Oh, shit.
Gay bar?
Gay bar.
Yo!
Whoa, you outing Joe Rogan?
It was a gay bar.
They were all playing pool.
Gay.
Yeah.
That was a pool.
Well, they were playing gay pool.
The pocket pool. Pocket pool.
But, yeah, it was just, so I was walking home and I saw him and I was like,
wow, this is going to be this big moment for all the shows I work on.
I'm going to go and charm him with everything that I am and put my boys on.
But I didn't have a wallet or a working phone,
so I just stared at them for a wallet or a working phone,
so I just stared at them for a minute or two.
Who was it?
Who's them?
It was Joe Rogan, Ari Shaffir, and I think Sam Orrell,
or like Mark Norman.
But I just left you and Sass at the bar.
Sass, that was your big break.
What?
It was your big break. He was talking about Joe Rogan.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Owen came back.
I was in my bed because I got home before him because I took an Uber.
Yeah, I left the bar like an hour before you.
I got home an hour after you.
I don't know how.
And then...
You were just gaping at Rogan.
He got home and he was like, dude, I just like...
He's like yelling from the living room.
He's like, I just saw Joe Rogan.
I was out of breath.
I ran a lot.
He's the biggest celebrity you could see?
Probably.
One of them.
For you guys, my hopes is I'm trying to do this and this.
Owen was business minded.
And I was like, oh, wow, if I could just get Sass and Roan in a selfie with this dude.
That's love, dude.
That would help.
It's some investigative work.
It didn't work.
We determined it was him.
Fuck.
Fuck.
So close.
D-Lo, we have you on.
I couldn't walk the rest of the weekend.
I blew both my thighs out.
It was the first time I had ran. How'd you blow them out on I couldn't walk the rest of the weekend I blew both my thighs out It was the first time I had rants
How'd you blow them out?
I don't know
Oh when we were in Cleveland
At the bar
Kareem Hunt and Nick Chubb were there
No way
And the boy from Stranger Things
Yes
Which one?
Which boy?
Matarazzo
The basketball star
Basketball one
I guess that's the only way
I haven't seen the show
I know he just plays
I think it's the basketball star we could... I haven't seen the show. I know he just plays... I think it's the basketball star.
The black kid?
Yes. Yes.
He's looking bed ragged.
I walked by Mincy.
What version of Mincy was that?
And he gave me a fist bump,
and I think he thought I was a fan.
Yeah.
Well, you are.
You are.
I am.
We all are.
Remember that old video you did with Frank, KB?
When you saw him on the street?
I was disguised.
You were so disguised.
What was the video?
Shouted him out on the street.
KB walked up to him just with a hood and sunglasses on.
It was like, Frank, big fan.
He's like, yep.
Yep.
Who did he confuse Stephen Che with recently?
Jake Marsh.
Jake Marsh.
Which is understandable.
That makes sense.
Both Asian.
Yeah.
Jeff D'Lo, we are going to start doing a new Monday segment
on the act sponsored by the NASCAR Cup Series
from Sonoma Raceway this Sunday,
June 12th at 4 p.m. Eastern on FS1.
During Captain Con's this weekend. Yeah, get, June 12th at 4 p.m. Eastern on FS1. During Captain Collins this weekend.
Yeah.
Get tickets at SonomaRaceway.com.
It's called Jeff D.
Lowe Explains All the Inside Jokes from the Weekend.
I don't want to do that.
Yeah.
Come on.
Here we go.
His name is Bert, sounds like.
Let's start with that one.
I've got a friend who we call Bert now.
That's it.
Okay.
Okay.
Don't patronize my inside jokes. I want to know it. I want to know it. If they're public, they're outside jokes my inside oh i want to know what i want to know if they're
public they're outside i want yeah you i want to know them that was a patronizing laugh
maybe i would like to know the inside jokes prolapsed joke yeah parking dog inside that's
a dj's sells a and belmar sells a hot dog called the barking dog see this is good context these
correlate with every picture, right?
It's disgusting.
No, I didn't.
The Barking Dog one was, no, I didn't put that one up there.
Okay, what else?
It's a little inside to the friends.
We have a laugh track, by the way, or applause track.
What's going on?
I'm about it.
See, KB and I are, KB's a Belmar adjacent guy.
I'm not looking down on it.
I want to know.
Those other ones
are Bar Osprey.
There's a bar in Manasquan, which
I don't like. No Way Home?
Oh,
people just are coming up and yelling me about
my score about Spider-Man No Way Home. What did
you give it? Gave it an 85, and it used
to be that people thought I didn't like it,
and now people are saying they're like, some
kid looked at me like this from across the bar holding up my score on his phone and i'm just like and i'm
like i'm like i'm sorry like i liked it he goes no it's trash dude i was like oh fuck and he
followed me around the bar for a while that's crazy nice guy nice guy but he did and then what
was the psoriasis bit i have psororiasis. It's disgusting. It's gross.
Thanks, Dan.
No, because now I am getting it like... Oh, we were doing an inside joke.
Now people are like, what's wrong with your legs?
Your legs are gross, which they are.
But you're getting it, Han.
It's revolting.
I think it's fine.
No, I mean, say what it is.
It's not pretty looking.
Most people's legs are gross.
Monkey pox.
Impotego sewed my mouth shut.
My legs are gross.
The uniformity of it
makes it less um how is the how is the shore been first two weekends good very peaceful your balls
wasn't first rooming with glenny yeah me and glenny somebody was on our porch on friday uh so
i was this is why i want you on uh um i'm living. I don't get through to the show.
Our location has absolutely been already revealed.
No.
Just whatever.
I'm nothing.
Glennie is a fucking rock star.
Yeah.
It is crazy.
It is like.
He is like Mr.
There was a point where I was like, I'm going to walk away from you now.
Yeah.
Because we aren't moving.
He's Mr. Tri-State.
Yeah.
And he.
Somebody was on our porch with a bottle of champagne for him for the dozen on Friday, but he wasn't moving. He's Mr. Tri-State. Yeah, and somebody was on our porch with a bottle of champagne for him
for the dozen on Friday, but he wasn't there.
That's nice.
I said, come on back when you want.
Yeah, it's good.
First week I was crazy,
but this week was my first piece.
Okay.
I feel like I hadn't taken a breath
since I left LA in February.
Yeah.
It was nice.
Beach bumming?
Beach bum?
For what?
You sit on the beach?
I'm a beach guy.
Helps the psoriasis too.
Pretend to read Dune.
You've been on Dune for about three years.
I've read two chapters.
Yes, I am.
You've owned more copies of Dune than you've read chapters of Dune.
No, we're tied now.
I've owned two copies of Dune.
I've read two chapters of Dune.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I have FOMO because everyone gets to do fun stuff on the weekends.
I only get one question when I'm at DJ's, though, and it's when is Big Cat coming to DJ's?
Ever.
I wish I could.
But you know what?
It's so easy for me to be like, I'm sorry, he's not coming.
But then every time I say, I don't know, maybe.
You should start saying like 1230.
Like that night. Just say whatever night it is. Just be like, start saying like 1230. Like that night.
Just say whatever night it is.
Just be like, yeah, 1245.
I'll be here.
Maybe that's what I'll start doing.
I mean, everybody asks.
It's just when is.
I mean, everyone here knows.
Usually it's like, where's Dave?
It's like, not with me.
People were hitting me with where's Sass this weekend.
And I would just be like, dude, he's over in that corner.
They would just go to the corner there.
I was in fucking Paris and people were like, where's PFT?
It's like, well, we don't take all
of our vacations.
I remember I told you guys this one in LA. I was
in Newport Beach at a restaurant
and somebody comes up to me and hits me on the shoulder and goes,
yo, Ken Jack, where's your homie Portnoy?
I was like, that's not
none of that.
That's crazy. All of that doesn't align
whatsoever
yeah
alright so are you going
people ask me where KB is
and he's just right next to me
yeah that's always
are you going
are you going down every weekend
probably
do you want to go once
you should go
yeah I will
yeah I could lie from DJ's
I'll go
I would definitely go
honestly like
like our house
like
not that you can't afford
to like rent a house
for a weekend
but it is like it, it's fun.
Ask Kenny.
You should do it.
You should do it.
Yeah.
He's good.
Ask KB.
KB's a...
He went down with me last year.
It was a good time.
We saw Pauly D.
I just...
Wait.
What was Pauly D's signature DJ move?
He throws full sheets of lasagna into the crowd of people, a la Aoki with cakes.
That's pretty cool.
Aoki's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Once the summer
weekend start hitting i just you know look at everyone having omar's close and that looks like
fun it'd be you you going because like we would have to stay there you like walking it oh mariko
would be so mad at you oh yeah he would i wouldn't tell him i was going he would be well that that's
also there's there's there's the there's like a a myth story about you at djs that
you were going to show up with dave yeah we were and okay so that is true so you want to show up
with dave and then rico the root the story is that rico found out about it and squashed it well he
threatened to jump off of the building he was okay so it is so it is actually i actually thought that
was not true and i was like true wow what a story, what a story. Why doesn't he want you guys to go?
He didn't want us to go without him.
And he was literally on the top of a four-story building FaceTiming Dave being like, I'm jumping off right now.
You are asked for every weekend, though.
All right, well, I'm going to come then.
I'm going to try to come.
I want to report every weekend.
We don't even have to do it on the app, but I just want you to tell me the fun shit.
I'll tell you all the inside jokes.
Has Balls fucked?
Yes, dude, obviously.
If you want Balls info, you've got to bring Balls in here.
Okay, that's fair.
All right, that's fair.
He has.
He's fucking a lot.
That means that he's fucked.
I'll make one note.
I was throwing Instagram, and Balls Beachwear popped up,
and there was a lady on our front porch in Balls Beachwear,
and I was like, I'm pretty sure that's our front porch in Balls Beach where I was
like, I'm pretty sure that's our front porch in Belmar.
Okay.
Beautiful.
That's your one little breadcrumb.
But I won't.
Balls can make Balls comment.
This is going to be good, too, because I'll come sometime in like maybe August and I'll
know all the inside jokes.
You will.
You know all the inside jokes.
I'll be like, hey, you're new.
That would be awesome.
Some random chick will be like, you're Bert, aren't you?
I'm doing like very quick.
Yeah.
You did.
It's like I was there for the whole summer. I know everything. Very quick pop into places and just leaving't you doing like very quick yeah you did it's like i was there
for the whole summer i know every very quick pop into places yeah just leaving right away it'd be
very yeah just know all of the inside jokes just gaslight everybody and make them think that you've
been there yeah i'd be like what are you talking about you got fucked up last week yeah why do you
think i'm calling you yeah that's the plan all right thank you so if you stand behind like i'm
pretty sure you and d can stand behind Glennie
and nobody.
Oh, no.
He is the king.
He is.
Nobody would see them.
Nobody would see them.
What are you saying?
I'm saying he's that.
Oh, okay.
Just like Frank is the focus of trivia.
Like, Glennie is.
It's insane.
He is.
He is the king.
He's not a mass thing.
All right.
Well, thank you, Jeff.
Just prepare.
You know.
Very secular.
We're doing the Brandon Walker show today.
Volume.
Yes.
Yes.
And please, every Monday Monday be prepared for this
again it doesn't have to be on the act
you just need to come to my desk
and tell me
for five minutes
how much fun you had
no patronizing laughs though
I won't patronize
nor to Glennie
just
it's kind of condescending to
I won't patronize
to praise him for fucking
why?
you just like think
that's something like
he had to really go out of his way
to achieve
No
My boy fucked
Standard
Oh you think I can't say
Like hey good job fucking
Complimenting Magic Johnson
For loving his son
That bothered you didn't it
No it bothered me like
Were you in a reply
He just said like
Happy birthday to my son
And everyone was like
You're
You're such a good man
For this
You know his son's
Gay as hell right
Right
Oh yeah
Yeah that was the That was the thing Pride month You're such a good man for this. You know his son's gay as hell, right? Right. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was the thing.
Pride month.
Three times on this road trip, I was in a bar, and different people were just like,
son of a boy, dad.
I would turn to Frank.
I'm like, all right. That was a podcast.
All right.
All right.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
You guys haven't spun the wheel In a long ass time
In a fucking minute
Che's got something
Do you want me to see
If I can get our
Eleventh member?
I saw him walk in
Oh yeah he's right there
I see him
Sure
That is
Who?
He owes us a monthly appearance
He does
Oh
Do you want me to grab him?
Dave?
I don't know what type of mood he's in
He looks like he's angry
Oh no no
Okay You okay KB? No Dave? I don't know what type of mood he's in. He looks like he's angry. Oh, no, no.
Okay.
You okay, KB?
No.
Wait, I don't mean it.
It's not he wouldn't want to.
We got to go when it's right.
We can get somebody in here, though.
Are you going to go back to the Jersey Shore this summer?
Isn't that where you had your hospitalization last year? Well, no, it was on the way back.
Is it like kind of
you got to get back on the horse
or are you just done?
With what?
Going down the shore
and eating fat mushrooms
of Delta 8.
I'm good on Delta 8.
I ease my weight
into a good routine.
All right.
Fuck yeah, bro.
You got it?
I really want to go
to the shore now.
Let's go right now. Yeah, should we go after work? No, it bro. I really want to go to the shore now. Let's go right now.
Yeah, should we go after work?
No, it is.
I realized that Jeff's right.
I was maybe patronizing a little bit, but it's coming from a place of I'm just sad that I don't get to have those weekends.
No, it does look very fun.
Yeah, it looks very fun.
You're a 35-year-old living vicariously through a 33-year-old.
He's 32.
Come on, Owen.
Would have been weirder if I knew your exact ages, actually.
Yeah, it's true.
You never know another man's age.
That's so gay.
It is gay.
It is gay.
It's gay to ask an age.
Well, another man's age.
It's Pride Month.
You can say that.
Yeah.
Only this month.
Only this month.
Ooh, how old are you?
I wish Joey a happy Pride month.
He appreciated that.
You guys going to walk?
I want to go in that.
When is it?
End of June.
Yeah, so we have a barstool float.
I think we should all be in it.
I'll do it.
I think I'm already...
Yeah, I think I'm...
I'm definitely going to be part of it.
I think I'm DJing it.
And you're wearing just glitter, apparently.
I think that shit gets crazy.
I want to do it just for the pictures, and then the few random people like barstools.
Terrible now.
Yeah.
We're all just sucking up.
Walking in a pride parade.
I and Joey are talking about using KB as a human chandelier at the after party.
Ooh.
Right.
How would that work?
I like that.
I'd lock it in, brother.
Yeah.
I don't know.
How does that work? What does that even mean? I think we, brother. Yeah. I don't know. How does that work?
What does that even mean?
I think we just string you by the back, and then people can walk under and suck you.
Or, yeah, I think-
You heard them talking about this, right?
Yes.
They hang you from the balls.
Like a grappling hook in his ass, and it kind of suspends him up.
And your asshole is the light.
Kyle doesn't know how to say no to those guys, so it will be happening.
Yeah.
That would be awesome.
And it goes in like a blooming onion
and like pops out,
and then that's how you're suspended.
A lot like a blooming onion.
Like the machine when they hold up the cows
and they can milk them,
so you just come and milk them.
Well, yeah, he'll be milked.
He'll be milked.
Now would be a good time to do the lisp.
Yeah.
You need a lisp right now to save your ass?
Yeah, to just kind of divert us
from this conversation.
Did you guys know Kyle can't read in his head? He has to do it
out loud, but just whisper it. What? I do that same thing.
He was mic'd up and reading
and he forgot he was mic'd up and
our sound guy
busted him.
A lot of what I say is scripted.
Is he rehearsing lines?
I have to rehearse, yeah.
I would practice for general conversations.
That's why you didn't want Dave in here, because you haven't practiced for him.
Not ready yet.
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
You have a whole Dave bit you can do.
All right, spin the wheel.
Did you guys miss the wheel?
Miss it a lot.
We had a really nice meeting for Barstow Idol coming up.
Yeah, we did.
I think we'll probably air some of that.
Barstow Idol, June 20th to 24th.
Everyone will be here.
We have big, big plans.
It's going to be incredible.
Are there wrinkles in our meeting that we don't want the people to know before?
I don't think we should air it.
No, they were going to maybe edit like a best of.
I came off like a massive idiot in that.
Yeah, you had trouble.
Oh, yeah.
There was.
And then Hank screamed at me.
Well, Hank also didn't really understand me either.
He got up in my face and yelled at me.
I think I talked a lot too much.
I was on like 75 milligrams of edibles.
You did have an edible.
I could tell.
I could tell.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
That's true.
But yeah, I'm very excited for Barstool Idol.
There's parts where I thought it was a lucid dream I was having.
And then the last week of June, we're going to tape our next case race.
That's right.
With Shane Gillis.
Oh, hell yeah.
It's going to be incredible.
We also got confirmation today from Live Event Lisa that we can book that court.
It was potentially being held for something else.
Oh.
We can book it.
So I got confirmation like 90 minutes ago.
Great.
So let's play in basketball.
Maybe Sass versus O'Malley one-on-one.
That will be just a blowout because I've gotten so much better at basketball.
Me too.
When we were out in the woods, I was playing like for three hours a day,
just draining threes nonstop.
He actually was.
We're making the Yak Idol contestants play basketball,
which is going to be great to watch. At 6.30 in the morning.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
Should we tell them to get there at 4.30, though?
Yeah.
Fuck them up a little bit.
Yeah, make them learn Biggie songs or whatever.
What do you make them do?
Go across the Brooklyn Bridge?
Walk to Junior's and learn Hypnotize or something like that.
Make them do that.
That'd be fucking hilarious.
All right, spin the wheel.
Also, some of the Oompa Loompas, they're watching.
Ooh.
Oh, yeah.
They're Yak fans.
Fuck yeah.
Hell yeah.
Shout out to these guys at Darts.
They work in the White House?
Were they tall or short?
Average height.
Four Oompa Loompas?
That sounds like they were short.
Everybody had... It was like five Oompas, three Loompas That sounds like they were short Everybody had
It was like five Oompas
Three Loompas
Okay and the guy in the middle
Why'd he get top billing?
He's Willy Wonka
Did you see Mr. Beast
Made a Willy Wonka house?
Yeah
Video kind of flopped
Compared to the Squid Game video though
Oh damn
They just got like 61 million views
Squid Game did 100 million
That's a flop
That's a flop
Flop
He fell off
Flop That guy stinks 61 guy stinks where does he get all
of his money youtube videos he puts 100 of his youtube profits into youtube videos and he has
ads in the middle of his shit from like uh like games he pockets zero dollars from making youtube
videos what a moron stupid i know what the hell that can't be right you have one hit and you coast
a thousand other things i swear to god exactly absolutely true you got famous for just saying
logan paul's name yeah for like 24 hours straight right yeah yeah he did that like a bunch of
different times to blow up by the way there's to be, I think they all know it,
but there's going to be 12 contestants for Barstool Idol.
And I just want to, I'm going to say this like five times between now and then,
just so that people can't be like, that was so mean.
One person is going home within the first five minutes based on the one.
It cannot be overstated.
It just has to be said over and over.
So then when it happens, because you know, people will be like, oh,
how could you do that?
It's they all know? They all know.
We all know.
That's the beauty of it.
That was where the confusion happened with me and Hank.
Yeah.
And I hope that that person becomes a huge star.
I do too.
We become the biggest idiots in the world.
Yes.
That will be very funny.
But I just, the people that are competing, they know this.
Yes, they know this.
They know it's a gamble.
They know that there's a 1 in 12 chance that they are gone within the first five minutes.
God, that's going to be great.
Should we give someone a chance to just send themselves home as tribute?
That would be awesome.
I think there's going to be a lot of people gunning for that role.
People are going to want that.
Yeah, because you do become like a sympathetic hero.
Yeah.
What if?
But if they don't even get to say their name, not really.
Yeah, but you become the biggest what if.
Yeah, it is. Yeah. It's true. their name, not really. Yeah, but you become the biggest What If. Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it's true.
The best it never was.
That kind of deal.
Oh, it's going to be awesome.
I'm very excited for this.
It's going to be funny.
Promise.
Promise.
Promise.
Promise.
It's going to be a fun week.
Promise.
Are the contestants watching?
Right now?
Maybe.
They should lay in little helpful things,
so if they do watch, that will help them.
Bring a diaper.
You're going to want to bring a diaper.
Wear clothes for a cranberry bog.
If you have any assets, maybe a living will?
Yeah.
One in it.
Hope you can drive stick.
Bring your passports Alright no no no
You guys are giving too much away
Some dude's at home right now
And he's like fuck
I don't know how to drive stick
Yeah
Hope I get sent home first
You don't know how to drive stick
You just as a backup
Know how to ride a horse
Yeah
If you want to the, you'll be good.
I thought it was mules.
Oh, yeah, it's donkeys. You're right.
Donkeys. One donkey.
And that's much different. Much different.
Mules can't breed, right?
It is a derogatory term, though.
A mule is the offspring of a horse and a donkey,
correct? Yes. And they're
sterile. Sterile. Sex, yeah.
Oh, they can fuck. They can.
Fuck, they just create a couple.
They're the all-business Pete of the equine family.
Just comes out like a thick toothpaste.
No, I can cum.
It's Pete.
Yeah, it is him.
That's my Pete right there.
Guys, I can cum.
Swear I could cum.
Prove it then, bitch.
Not in front of us right now.
That will be the final challenge.
Can you make Pete cum? You like that a little too then, bitch. Not in front of us right now. That will be the final challenge. Can you make Pete come?
You like that a little too much, Steven.
Smiling from ear to ear.
I can't believe I met someone this weekend who knows Resnick,
and I still can't believe that you have an enemy ship with Resnick.
What happened?
Did that come up?
What happened?
No, I didn't even want to bring it up because it would have made shit so awkward knowing that Steven Che hates Resnick. What happens? That come up? No, I didn't even want to bring it up because it would have made shit so awkward knowing that
Stephen Che hates Resnick.
Holy. Yeah. You know what's actually funny?
After that came out. This won't be funny.
Well, I guess.
After that came out on the Yak,
five separate people came up to me and said they had
similar feelings. That's interesting, not
funny. Okay, whatever.
It would be funny if you told us the five.
Yeah, that would be funny. That would be funny.
That would be funny. Now that would be a knee slap.
So five people? Five people
that have been here long enough to know.
This dude's just getting dragged.
I like Resnick. I've never had a bad
interaction. In fact, I exclusively
had pleasant interaction. And I think that what
Steven's point is, yeah, we're like Katy Perry
defending Ellen. What is
going on? What is this?
He said there's one dude that he ever hated at Barstool,
and it's this dude Resnick.
And I met, like, his cousin this weekend.
Yeah, he's a Penn State. I didn't have the heart to tell him.
Yeah, I have no idea who Resnick is.
I was kind of going along with that.
He used to run all the finance back in the day.
I know I was blanking.
The last office.
One of his friends, good friends, built, like built our CRM, and he was a great
guy. So, nothing bad to say
about that. I'm not saying that he doesn't know
good people, but I'm saying him himself was a
shithead. That makes no sense.
So, KB, it's just
very interesting. The guy was a dick?
But he knows good people.
He's the most optimistic, happy-go-lucky guy
in the world, and when we brought up his name, he was
like, I fucking hate him. He's the only person I hate.go-lucky guy in the world. And when we brought up his name, he was like, I fucking hate him.
He's the only person I hate.
Dude, Zah said the same thing.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't throw Zah under the bus.
Who are they asking for?
I don't know if you're in the position to speak for Zah.
I believe Che, that he sucked.
Oh, I believe him too.
I'm out on Resnick now.
I mean, you have to be awful for Che.
Yeah, a lot of us exclusively speak to Che in insults.
Why not just make up your own...
There's someone who's an asshole. He loves us.
Yeah, we're only mean to
Che and he can't get enough of us.
What'd he do, Che?
Flood insurance? That's
for losers.
What'd he do that made you hate him?
He's a
guy that would be in meetings with
other people and he would like
legitimately curse at them like i've i've been in meetings where he'd be like he would look at
people and just say you're fucking stupid and like that was a regular current never did that to me
i know what is he doing i like the guy to be fair were you being yeah were you being stupid
you are stupid sometimes most of the time was not to me no but it would be just like other people
did anyone else like did anyone like clap back at him during meetings?
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Like who?
I see.
Someone yelled at him?
Yeah.
No, he had a couple dust-ups.
Dude, him and...
Fuck, yeah.
Him and who?
Him and Bubbly Gang.
They dusted up?
Oh, they dusted up.
It was dust time.
Did it almost come to blows?
Goddamn dust storm.
Oh, yeah.
I love that shit.
That's awesome, though.
This seems like he's awesome.
I know.
Can we hire him back?
Real Housewives of the Third Floor.
I would love that.
Yeah, he sounds awesome.
He's just slapping papers out of people's hands and shit like that.
You fucking moron.
That's Q2, not Q1.
You ever see when Vince McMahon slapped the papers out of Bob Costas' hand or something like that?
When he asked if wrestling was fake, he's like, does it look like it's fake? Slapped a manila envelope out of Bob Costas' hand or something like that when he asked if wrestling was fake.
He's like, does it look like it's fake?
Slapped the manila envelope out of his hand.
He just slapped the scripts out of his hand.
Vince is the best.
Yeah, he is.
All right, spin the wheel.
Happy birthday to my mom.
Oh, wow.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Whoa, there goes Jerry.
Is that for lowering the bars?
He's just chilling.
He won it.
Holy shit.
Will, would you look at that?
KB's wild.
You never knew what this was.
What a day.
What is KB's wild?
I don't know.
I did say it required a certain object that I don't have with me.
Well, can you bring it tomorrow?
Yeah, can you bring it tomorrow?
Now we have to find out who's getting KB's wild,
and they will get wilded tomorrow.
Oh, wait, what?
It's a re-bet.
I like the Rex on someone else.
Oh, I love it.
I love the cliffhanger.
Trust the man.
Let's see who's getting wilded.
You on it?
Yeah, you should be on it? Can you be wild yourself?
You should be on it.
And it's elimination, right?
TJ can technically play the immunity if you would like.
Correct.
But why would you for KB's wild?
Is it bad?
Does it suck, KB?
Don't do that.
I put us all on it.
Stanko included.
KB's wild.
I think this now makes me so excited for tomorrow.
What is KB's wild?
Stanton still has to do it as well. Stanko, are you cool with that?
Yeah, I'm done.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Okay.
That mic didn't work.
Put him on.
There seems to be an underwater effect on the studio mic.
KB's Wild tomorrow on the Yak.
Don't tell anyone.
Stanko's a low-key genius movie guy.
His own rating system.
You've got to check out Stanko's Twitter account to check these ratings out.
Oh, yeah.
How do you...
What's the system, Stanko?
I go classic letter grades
like A, B, C, you know.
Old school.
Sick.
Nice.
Revolting against LCB,
you know, who use numbers.
But it's okay.
It's fucking...
He has a good...
He has a good taste in movies
for sure.
Fuck yeah. Love that sure I think numerical is
too many flaws
there's too many numbers
for instance I view a 6 out of 10 as something that is good
a lot of people are afraid of that
they associate that with letter grades
like a 60 is an F
failing in school
having a 70
the grade numerical system is all fucked up.
It doesn't make sense that there's like most of the grades you could get are really bad.
Like 70% of the grades you could get are actually really bad.
Six out of ten movie you watch all the time.
Not me.
Stanko just said no.
That's something you watch once and you enjoyed it, but you won't go back.
Right.
Six out of ten is strictly average.
No, sorry.
I didn't mean watch all the time. I meant like if you see six out of ten, you watch once and you enjoyed it, but you won't go back. Right. Six out of ten is strictly average. No, sorry. I didn't mean watch all the time.
I meant like if you see six out of ten, you watch that movie.
Really?
If you see it, you're like, all right, I'll watch it.
Yeah.
And I say it's a comedy, then no.
Really?
Yeah.
How skewed are you, Stanko?
If movies could reject you, then yeah, I'd watch it over and over.
No, I'm mostly in like the C to B minus range, C to B range.
Oh, tough grader.
I am a tough grader.
I'm a bit of a hero in the sense, I think all humans are at least a 6 out of 10.
So do I.
When people ask, oh, is that girl, or is that guy, everyone's at least a 6.
I think the worst major movie can be okay.
If it's in a major studio, the worst the movie can be is okay.
A lot of people who are pretty talented tried really hard on it.
Yeah, right.
That's how I feel about mainstream music. There's nothing that's
so bad. It might not be your taste,
but technically and
the sound of it is good.
Yeah.
Other than Flo Rida. Flo Rida fucking sucks.
I think music is the exception.
Flo Rida rules. Whistle?
Oh, Whistle. You don't like Flo Rida?
Flo Rida and Pitbull are the ones that really stand out for me.
What?
Those are both great.
Yeah, fuck you to death.
Fuck you to death.
Flo Rida and Pitbull make music that sounds good and catchy.
To death, we're going to fuck you.
You're going to die how hard we fuck you for this tape.
Save it for the pride parade, boys.
You're dead.
Are we're doing elimination
wheel or just one it's gonna be an open casket we're gonna keep fucking you it is kb's wild
all right so just one whoever it lands on has to do kb's wild tomorrow no questions asked
all right one spin wait my name is
no oh no way oh no way What's my name look like? No.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
He's getting KB's wild.
It's going to be a hanging wedgie, please.
Wheel is justice.
It's a hanging wedgie.
Is this a good or a bad result?
KB, do you know what it is?
You know what it is?
Very good.
It's KB's Wild.
I'm so excited for this.
KB's Wild.
That was like Christmas Eve.
Wait, if it landed on KB, would you have to do it?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay, fair.
I'm in.
I'm so excited for KB's Wild tomorrow.
It's chaotic, brother.
I want to go to sleep right now.
I know.
Yeah, you're out.
Just to wake up.
Should he wear anything specific?
Water repellent?
Good question. The last thing you want? Water repellent? Good question.
The last thing you want to do is try to dress for this.
Dead giveaway as to what it is.
I'm not saying you're going to be nude for it. I'm just saying don't try to wear an outfit to make this any better or worse or whatever for you.
You're just getting wild.
Dress how you would dress.
Will he get dressed, though?
It's not juicy.
There's no correlation. Juice is wild?
Almost none.
Almost.
Almost.
That's interesting.
What if you just nut all over him?
I don't have the slightest clue.
Is Steven wilding or is he getting wilded?
You're wilding.
It was on the tense. He will be wilding and afterwards he will have been wilded? You're wilding. It was on the tense.
He will be wilding
and afterwards
he will have been wilded.
Okay, I didn't know
if you were wild.
He does the wilding.
Are you wilding, Stephen?
KB doesn't stand for KB
as in Kyle Bauer, right?
It's something else.
What?
What does the KB stand for?
I thought it stood for him.
In Kyle Bauer?
No, KB on the KB's Wild.
KB on the KB's Wild? KB on the KB's Wild?
I don't know the, I don't even know if it's an acronym.
Okay.
Got it.
Now, will we look at Steven differently after this?
I don't have a fucking clue what this is.
He can be unwilded.
Oh, but he'll stay wild.
Bateman.
Oh, Bateman.
Is that his name?
Yeah.
Patrick. You guys see there's a new Beeman? What? There is. Oh, Bateman. Is that his name? Yeah. Patrick.
You guys see there's a new Beeman?
What?
There is?
Oh, yeah.
I met him, yeah.
The dude Beeman.
He was like embarrassed to tell me.
He's J-Rod now.
He's like, yeah, I've been getting a lot of shit for it.
I was like, what?
Well, we gave him a lot of shit.
For sharing a name with the wrong person.
Alphabetically, we just called him a seaman.
He said his name is Beeman, and we're're like we already have a Beeman on this show.
Now he's semen.
Seemen's fine.
He can have two Beemans.
Seemen would have been cool too.
And Eman too.
Unless you're gonna
fuck them both.
We already had an Eman
on the show.
Yeah.
So then demon or semen?
It has to be one of the two.
I'm the demon of this show.
But he's semen.
Everyone knows Nick's demon.
The Beeman's semen in every show. Oh and we have Eman too. We have Eman. he's Seaman. Everyone knows Nick's Seaman. The Beeman Seaman
in every show.
Oh, and we have Eamon too.
Yeah, we have Eamon.
He's a character.
He's an associated act.
Feeman?
Can't wait to meet Bernard.
We should get him in
for the case race.
What is that?
A tax collector?
Yeah, a tax collector.
Eamon.
All right.
G-man?
That's like any Giants fans?
We got that. Eam got that or like if we have
H-men
oh yeah
that's Hitler
yeah that's Hitler
oh
I was thinking
Jersey Jerry
yeah me too
so I mean
we got an H-man
different type of H
Tracy Morgan's
interview with Jerry
looked incredible
so good
he was like screaming at him.
He's like, it's just you and me, brother.
It's fucking sick.
Steven, what are you pointing at?
My buddy met Tracy Morgan in an airport, and they both have diabetes,
and there's a pic of them holding their pumps out.
That's awesome.
Pride merch.
Check it out.
Pride merch.
Support LGBT community center in New York. 100% of net Pride March support LGBT community center
in New York
100% of net proceeds
going to LGBT
community center
is that what
you were asking me for
Steven
I just texted it to you
Brandon is at the
funeral right now
but he did text the
order of people
who notified him
I thought we already
knew that
alright it was
Big Cat
won
no prove it
it was
K2
Nick 3
Che 4 KB 5, Owen6, Roan7.
Damn, Roan.
Son of a boy dad.
Son of a boy dad coming in low numbers.
Well, what did y'all say to him?
This is his dad.
What did you guys say?
I said, sorry, let me know if I can do anything.
Sorry sounds like you had a hand in it.
That's all you said?
Sorry, let me know if you can do anything. Yeah, I you had a hand in it. That's all you said. Sorry, let me know if you can do anything.
Yeah, I said I apologize.
Wait, wait, wait.
What did you say?
I'm bad.
I'm bad, dude.
Let me know if I can do anything, you said?
Yeah, let me know if I can do anything.
That's a horrible text.
What can you do?
You can bring him back.
CPR.
Are you God?
CPR, medically induced COVID.
Yeah, what?
Bring him back.
Did you freeze him like Disney?
If I got a text Williams head
if I got a text like that
from you big head
I would block you
if I can do anything
I said
you want me to hear
what I said
yeah sure
you probably could
do something
I was asking
if you need me to do anything
at least financially
I said do anything
back here
that's what I said too
cover anything
you want me to
I said that too
but then I said more stuff
on top of that
now I'm on the Brandon Walker show so jokes on me yeah what did you say Anything you want me to. I did that. I said that too. But then I said more stuff on top of that.
Now I'm on the Brandon Walker show.
So jokes on me.
Yeah.
What did you say?
I said, sorry for your texts.
I said, sorry for your loss, Brando.
Hang in there.
Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
I'll see you when you get back.
Take your time.
That's a fake apology.
That is a fake apology.
I'm not apologizing.
How are you apologizing? You said I'm sorry.
How's that not an apology?
I'm sorry for your loss, I said.
But that's like saying, like, you can't change your behavior.
I actually said more.
What did you say?
I said I love you.
I said really sorry, happy you were able to be with him.
If I could do anything back here, just let me know how I can help in any way.
Also, low key, I think Stephen Shea did it.
I said your fam is in my thoughts. Let me know if I can do anything in way. Also, low key, I think Stephen Che did it. Your fam is in my thoughts.
Let me know if I can do anything in NYC for you.
Love you.
And I know Stephen Che had a hand in this.
Also, my follow-up text was a day later.
It said, it's sass, isn't it?
And he said, yes.
Asking about who did it.
It was not one of my best moments.
I spawned the thread because right after I did it, he tweeted about it.
He started talking about it.
I knew that was coming.
And I looked at the thread and people like, fans are like gambling on who it was and people
are throwing my name out.
Everyone pretty much thought it was me.
This is now a game and a competition.
Which is crazy because I'm a big Brandon supporter.
I texted him a joke.
I am.
Open a light in the mood.
It did not work.
He didn't respond.
What?
He left you.
Well, I figured everyone was saying the same thing,
so I tried something different.
Oh, you went with the zag, where you're like, he deserved it.
Oh, I said, daddy's home.
I've got to go do the rundown, by the way.
You guys keep doing the show.
Dave has asked me to do the rundown with him today.
Got it.
Wait, before you go
I text him
30 seconds after that tweet went out were you
in the hospital room
how did two people beat me
I had been texting with
he had told me before he left
that he was going to pass
okay well then Brandon can't
count the people who he told
I found out through Twitter
I was conversing with him throughout
like the days he was back there
yeah what time did you guys
I'm actually a real friend unlike you
I directly tried to save Rasslin
which is more than you did
yeah
yeah you can show you the messages
I tweeted out a link saying subscribe
to Rasslin it's a great podcast and it shouldn't get cut.
Damn.
You do that?
No, because Hank.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
Hank told me I can't do that.
Oh, I didn't listen to Hank.
He's your boss.
That's why I yelled at you.
I support Brandon.
Wait, what time did you guys send it?
Also, Hank didn't tell me.
I'm pissed.
Hey, Marty.
Everyone say your times.
Saturday, 2 p.m.
Saturday morning.
I really missed it by a long time.
Wait, I was Saturday at 1.28 p.m. Saturday morning. I really missed it by a long time. I was Saturday at
1.28 p.m.
Okay, so was I?
I knew before. It was 9.40 a.m.
yesterday. I was April 18th.
This is going to happen.
Is it wrong to say I'm excited to be able
to do this again?
Yeah, no. I'm ready.
I'm going to be the first next time.
I'm ready.
Yeah, I got to set my numbers up.
Can't be falling in last place, Rowan.
And what was your excuse, bro?
I was at a bachelor party.
That's true.
You were whooping it up.
You were?
How was it?
It was fucking sick.
We don't want to talk about it too much because we've got to talk about it on the podcast.
Can you guys come on Son of a Boy Dad?
KB, you, and Nick.
Are you asking Kyle for both of us?
I'm asking both of you.
Yeah.
Anytime.
We should just cut the cameras right now and just start recording.
Yeah.
That would work.
That's pretty much it.
That would work easier.
Thanks, TJ.
Appreciate it.
What an episode.
TJ's a dog.
You guys think the NY on my hat kind of looks like a swastika at first glance?
No, but it doesn't look like an NY.
Yeah.
What is that?
It's blurring.
I don't know.
Is it 3D?
It looks three-dimensional.
No.
You definitely bought that because it looked three-dimensional.
Is it not 3D?
I would buy it.
It's fucking up my eyes so much.
It's an N and a Y.
Yeah. It looks like a Yankees hat and a Kirk.
What logo?
It looks like a Z and a Y.
Like in a cartoon they tried to get away with for like...
Zoo York hat.
Is it Zoo York?
No, it's a New York hat.
It did get a lot more swastika-like when you zoomed.
Yeah.
Kind of concerned about that.
I caught a glimpse of it.
Oh, it kind of...
Where'd you get it?
Hat.
Hat Club. Holy shit. Oh, it kind of looked... Where'd you get it? Hat Club.
Holy shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the ones with the hats on the
conveyor belt.
Like a sushi restaurant,
you just grab one.
Oh, really?
That's cool.
I touched it,
and they're like,
you touched it.
I was like, fuck.
Really?
Yeah.
You gotta make sure
to wear that swastika
hat on days you wear
shorts to distract
from the swastika
tattoo you have.
Honestly, that is the
only way I can distract
from a swastika, is a bigger swastika. You want that pin that's anti- swastika tattoo you have. Honestly, that is the only way I could distract from a swastika
is a bigger swastika.
You want that pin that's anti-swastika,
but it looks like swastika?
Yeah, please.
I have the cap that has...
The anti-swastika hat.
What is it, just red circle and bar?
Yep.
And it's the thinnest red line.
It is.
It's like you have to zoom in so much to see the red line.
Damn.
They caught us good.
Should we end the show?
Yeah.
Or should we just keep talking?
What do you have to talk about?
EJ, what are you up to after this?
Oh, shit.
Should we just keep talking?
I have a meeting at 3.30 and then prepping for the Brandon Walker show with the boys.
How are you guys going to sit for that?
Where are you guys going to sit?
Are you guys going to sit like-
It's going to be like this.
Yak style?
I don't know, but I think we're tiering stuff on the show.
I think so, too.
But we're also going to open up the phone lines,
so if you're interested in talking to the fellas...
I feel like you guys should crowd around the podium
like his signature shot.
Ooh, that's a good idea.
I like that.
Any idea what I should tier?
I was thinking worst places to go on vacation as a child.
Ooh, that's good.
How about floors in a building?
Lobby's probably my number one. Better than the penthouse? Worst places to go on vacation as a child. Ooh, that's good. How about floors in a building? Ooh.
Lobby's probably my number one.
Better than the penthouse?
Let me practice my people skills.
Floors to jump off of, I think fourth would be worst.
Why, because you think you'd die?
Second, because there's a chance you don't die.
Third is the worst.
Second, you're surviving.
Yeah, but if you do die, you're not like a bitch. And you probably won't be paralyzed.
Fifth, you're surviving.
We were having this exact conversation on the roof this weekend. But fifth, you're comatose. Fourth, I feel like it's the worst. I think fourth, you're gonna and you're gonna and you probably won't be paralyzed if you're surviving we were having this exact conversation on the roof this week comatose fourth i feel like it's the worst
i think fourth you're still dying i think third i think third yeah but like depends on a lot of
people don't want to die well if you're jumping off the building usually you do this is just
purely this is not like i want to commit suicide just falling off and is it feet first because if
it's feet first i think on the fifth your head won't even, there's not enough
momentum to even send your head to the ground to make you come.
Your head's hitting the ground.
I think your legs just shatter.
I don't know.
I could be wrong, though.
If you're falling off, you're not falling on your legs.
You're probably going to come up.
I think your legs could shatter from the first floor.
I'd somersault.
The worst one would be the one, I'm not.
I always thought that, and then I'm like, I'm not even close to athletic enough to pull
off that maneuver.
Yeah.
Just like tucking and rolling.
No way.
What do you think happened to all the dudes that got so into parkour for those couple years?
I think TikTok has made a resurgence with it.
I still see the videos.
Parkour gyms popped up like crazy.
Yeah.
Just because they're easy to make.
You just need a warehouse and a ramp.
What's that wall called?
A wailing wall? What's that wall called? A whaling wall?
What's the wall?
Warped wall?
I thought parkour, one of the requirements was it has to be just naturally a recurring structure.
Oh, you know what they did?
They probably became those tramp wall guys.
There's only one guy, right?
Oh, there's like a league.
There's a whole league.
They have a house.
There's a lot of drama.
From the shoe guys to the parkour guys to the trampoline wall guys.
What's next, man?
So exciting to see
what losers are going
to do with their lives.
The tramp wall shit
is crazy.
Have you guys ever seen
those guys on TikTok?
We were just talking about it.
I see the one guy.
Have you guys all seen it?
It's always the same guy.
The California one.
There's one head of him.
They have like a backyard
and he's the best by far.
There's just boys
out there gassing him.
Wait, that's Flip with Z, dude.
I did a video with this dude. You did. They were jumping off roofs. I boys out there gassing them. Wait, that's Flip with Z, dude. I did a video with
this dude.
You did.
They were jumping
off roofs.
I don't think this is
them.
These are some other
bros.
This is a different
league.
Yeah, this seems to
be a wannabe league.
Yeah.
They're pretty good.
They travel like
circus style and go to
carnivals and stuff and
set this up and do it.
I could only watch this
for about eight seconds.
You've seen enough.
I'm hoping somebody
falls if I'm watching this.
Oh, they never fall.
All right, that was pretty awesome.
It's fun to be that athletic, it looks like.
Yeah, that's awesome, I guess.
Even from that perspective, I think it looks cooler.
When you're in the air, you're not trusting gravity.
You're trusting your brothers.
It would be pretty cool if this is what you had to do to exercise.
That would be awesome.
I would exercise all day.
That's the only way you could.
Jim's only had this.
This is a depressed white girl holding a medium Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee going to do tramp wall.
I used to think that every summer in grade school, I thought that was going to be the summer I learned to do a backflip.
And I just never even got close.
I was always convinced I was going to come back with a backflip in my bag.
Why not now?
I have nowhere near the fucking balance of ability.
I learned backflip summer.
I learned it in like 20 minutes and then I went home and I couldn't do it anymore.
Yeah, I know.
I practiced for like, the hardest I've ever worked on anything was learning how to do a front flip.
And then I never was able to do it again.
I did it like twice and I was on Adderall.
Dead serious.
Was it someone guide your hips through it or were you just doing it alone on like a mattress or into a pool?
No, I was doing it alone.
A lot of pool action.
Yeah.
I used to think I could do it and then I would like take a video and i'd realize that i'm just like rolling sideways like i would be landing and it'd be like my legs would
like still be like up and it would be like the back of my neck would be hitting the water
i'm diving yeah yeah could you do what kind of could you do a handspring or like actual flip
standing backflip that's so sweet but you could definitely do that trampoline stuff after like 10 minutes of trying.
I'm not good with like gymnastics.
You have a great shape to flip.
I'm just saying like the backflip is easy to learn.
It's more overcoming the...
Overcoming the fear.
You start with a crash pad.
But it's like singing.
It's like a skill that you can't really casually show off.
Those are both pretty casual.
It was always people in my high school.
You can't just like,
here's my amazing voice.
It's always like a spectacle.
I disagree.
I feel like there was a lot of people
in like middle school and high school
who like their entire personality
was like,
oh, watch me do a backflip.
That's what I'm saying.
You can't just casually do it.
You have to be like,
watch me do this.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
If you did a backflip in stride
as you were walking up to Shake Someone's Hand.
Yeah, just walking.
The most low-key backflip.
The rough-and-rowdy guy is always hitting backflips.
Ninja.
He's a good guy.
American Ninja?
And he does American Ninja, which is like, it is parkour, but it's not parkour.
It's like based off parkour.
Yeah, it's like an obstacle course.
Parkour, it's about parkour it's like based off parkour yeah it's like an obstacle course parkour is it's about the freedom man kb you're more of a grounded at like uh worker router you're not doing that
shit in the air i fuck with the uh parkour stuff a little bit no no no no i don't not personally i
don't do it i don't do it myself i was like walking to work and I saw you like jumping over like something with your hands I would like piss myself but I was gonna say I
don't fuck with the people who just like scale shit and then they like post videos like with
like oh yeah on top of the empire state building yeah dangling don't dang chef Donnie I don't like
the danglers Donnie loves to dangle yeah but even worse is the people who say they're doing it like for charity or something like that.
It's like, no, you're not.
You're doing it because you like hate life and have like part of your brain missing that tells you when you should be afraid of shit.
Parkour is just what TikTokers call foreplay merch now.
That's the new style.
They're rocking parkour.
They're going for the parkour.
Damn. Damn.
Yeah, I don't know.
Owen has been running the show.
Yeah, I believe.
I've started taking drugs.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Which ones?
Nootropics?
Adderall.
Dude, they subscribe, dude.
Fucking nootropics.
I used to do Adderall every day.
While the focus was good, it was ruining my life.
Rogan got my dad to do Alpha Brain.
Really?
Oh, really?
He's been a real dick.
When I opened for Nick Coletti, he was doing Alpha Brain before his show.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Huh.
He was like, I need this.
He was like, I need this.
There's nothing inside of it.
No, he undid the capsule and then poured it into his drink.
Then he drank it.
Damn.
Might get on some Alpha Brain.
I just lost all my respect for him.
Apparently people say they need it.
It's like they get addicted to it.
Alpha Brain?
Yeah.
People get super into it.
Dude, I was in a small town Jersey little shop,
like a place where you can just casually pick up Kratom.
I was thinking of UKB and in the same like a glass locked container where
they're selling all the Kratom,
they just had like a huge array of crack pipes.
Dude,
crack pipes are $5.
I feel like that's super expensive.
They should be a dollar.
Yeah,
that's bullshit.
A,
they're not that complex and B,
it's for a crack head.
You have to have sympathy for a crackhead, how much money they can...
Yeah, if you look closely, the crackheads, they don't use the pipes.
It's a much better deal.
You could get the pack of Bic pens for about $2.99, and 24 of them come.
Yeah, they're always smoking out of Bic pens.
Oh, because you take the thing off.
You just take it off, and you have a plastic tube.
They're always smoking out of Bic pens.
Bic pens and, like, pens. You can also it off and you have a plastic tube. They're always smoking out of Bic pens. Bic pens?
Pens.
You can also use those for an emergency tracheotomy.
A Bic pen?
A Bic pen?
Jack, do you need?
You lost?
I think, didn't they give an emergency trach an anaconda?
In Lost?
Oh, I thought they gave an emergency trach to an anaconda in Lost.
No, maybe.
That show got pretty crazy.
You're saying an anaconda in the movie with Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez.
J-Lo.
They had an emergency trach?
Emergency trach.
Stephen, why do they call Ice Cube Ice Cube if his name isn't even the shape of a cube?
That's a good question.
It's just relatable.
Yeah.
I mean, isn't it weird that you have ice trays
that are supposed to be ice cubes
and they're not cubes at all?
Weren't the OGs cubes?
OGs, what are we talking about?
The original ice cubes?
Yeah, but do you see those ever?
What should they have changed the name of the bodies of ice
that come out of an ice tray to if they're no longer cubes?
What's a good alternate name?
Whatever the hell that shape is.
I don't think you have to say the shape.
You can just call it ice.
A lot of people just call it ice, Steven.
Okay.
While we're at it, wife beaters is a crazy name.
Yeah, it is.
I feel like not everybody wearing it is doing that.
It's crazier when people try to use a fake synonym for them, though.
But tank top sucks, too.
Yeah.
Tank top sucks.
I think on the package
it says like A shirts.
They're called A shirts
as opposed to T?
Yes.
For abusers.
Alpha.
Do you guys wear wife beaters?
Every guy who wore one
smelled the same.
It was like sweat
mixed with old deodorant.
Yeah.
When we did the jerseys
Vaguely like deli paper.
We did the jerseys.
Jerry and Big Cat both had wife beaters on under their shirts.
I didn't know people wore those.
Oh, yeah.
Zaw was wearing one as well.
I had one when I thought I was going to get jacked when I was like 19 years old.
I'm like, I'm going to be jacked.
And I started wearing wife beaters under my shit.
It does look good if you're jacked.
KB, you could pull off a wife beater.
With like maybe Owen's shirt opened over a wife beater.
Yeah, yeah.
KB, you would look sick.
That would be super tough.
Jeff's chain, KB's.
Would you wear that tomorrow?
No.
KB's wild?
I'm already doing too much.
No, you're not, but you're wearing a white shirt.
I'm the guy with a semblance of muscles and started just showing shirtless every chance I get.
Yeah, you have every chance.
Yeah, my God.
But it's like you also have like a small window of your life
where you even have a slight chance to do that.
I'm telling myself that's why I did it.
Yeah.
And you've been in situations where you can be shirtless.
Like it wasn't weird for you to be shirtless.
Like on this show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you're not doing too much.
You're wearing a white shirt, black shorts, white pants,
or white socks and black hat.
You're wearing the least discreet outfit of anybody.
You could jazz it up a little bit.
You got the wiggle room.
I still got paw prints on my chest.
Like Eve?
Yeah, like Eve.
What?
The rapper Eve, she had paw prints on her titties.
Oh, shit, I was thinking of.
You remember the movie Triple X?
Eve is in the first scene at their little half-pipe factory that they're having a party at.
What does she do?
She just has her titties out.
Fuck.
Out-out?
No, but they're enough to see the paw prints, which are tantamount to nipples.
Was she hot?
In the Triple X days, yeah.
What about now?
That does pull her out.
I think so.
Triple X Eve. Triple X Eve. Speaking of titties i had a triple x i had a dream last night that i met sydney sweeney
and we like really hit it off it was like an unreal dream and then i my alarm went off and
i was in like a furious mood the entire morning probably a blue balls. I did. Well, were you going to fuck her? No. You hit it off like how?
Oh, that's even better.
I know.
That's even better for us now.
I know.
I was playing the long game.
I want this to work.
I don't want to move too fast.
What if it was lucid?
What if you knew it was a dream?
I'll see you tomorrow night, Sid.
It felt so real.
I woke up and I followed her on Instagram.
Did you?
Yeah.
Dude, last night I was having weird dreams too, dude.
I think it's something with the moon.
This was normal.
You always are dreaming the same scenario.
I actually rarely have dreams.
Eve.
Hey, yo, she's mid, dude.
Dead ass.
So I looked up XXX Eve.
It was just all porn.
But this one has some...
More like Eve 6.
Like this.
Above average. Yeah, she all right. But this one has some We're like Eve 6. Like this. Above average.
Yeah, she alright.
Hey, yo, that shit's mid.
That's dope.
What are you doing?
You ever watch Cat Williams?
Yeah, buddy.
I was watching his new special
and he was doing Adam and Eve
and I have to send it to you.
I can't do it,
but it's the funniest shit ever.
He's like, so if Adam was God's son and Eve's God's daughter,
everybody's incest babies.
It was nuts.
That's true.
Is this recent, Cat Williams?
Yeah, 2022.
Holy shit.
Yeah, he's topical as always.
He's telling the first story ever.
Yeah, it is.
Y'all hear about this creation that's how you know you made it though
like big comedians you wait to hear what they say
about like current events what's going on like
I want to hear the history of the
world from Cat Williams
yeah it's true
Louis CK doing the president's history on
with Shane Gillis was incredible
two episodes of that right
four episodes and they were long as fuck it was very stimulating President's history with Shane Gillis was incredible. Two episodes of that, right?
Four episodes.
And they were long as fuck.
It was very stimulating.
They were all like three hours long.
Did it turn into like actually educational and informative?
Oh, the whole thing.
They knew so much.
I felt like such a fucking idiot watching. There was like barely any like humor.
It was like mostly educational.
It was like super interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah, they know everything about every single president.
Yeah, it is a funny time in dudes' lives when they start getting super into history.
Yeah, it sucks.
I catch myself.
Yeah, geography and start getting into history.
On this trip, I finished the biography of Genghis Khan.
What type of shit was Genghis getting into?
You don't even want to know.
No way, dude.
He must have fucked prolifically give us like
one thing that we wouldn't ever have thought he was a big pnr guy yeah he uh he wore his heart on
his sleeve on his so he uh he fell in love a lot i bet dude he have like the most like will
chamberlain said he fucked a lot, but Genghis Khan actually...
If you're from Mongolia, there's like a 10% chance you're related to him.
What's the stat?
He put numbies on the board.
He was...
The amount of times he busted...
And it was always in someone.
He refused to bust into open air.
Spilling your seed's a sin.
Yeah.
But filling someone with your seed.
I don't know why people slut shame people
like Genghis Khan and Taylor Swift
though. Yeah, exactly. They're the big two.
It would have been a power
couple. Bullshit. Taylor just wants
the full existence. You could be in love more than once.
She's still young.
Yeah, she just turned 25,
right? Yeah.
The 10th year in a row.
What's she doing this summer?
She just sold her house.
She's down on the Cape, probably.
Everywhere or just fucking?
I think everywhere.
I mean, look at him.
You can't deny.
Wait, is that all we can see?
I think there's probably one in 12 of us.
Look at him.
If we had to pick one person who's probably...
What is this kid's name?
Is this kid's name Chickens Kong?
That's fucking sick, dude.
Who wrote the Genghis Kong biography?
I don't know. I just feel like it would have had to have been him,
or I'm not really...
I don't think he has...
He was busy. His hands were full.
I don't know if I trust a Genghis Khan
biography written by someone who wasn't
fucked by him. Yeah, you're right.
And this was written to be like an epic
and a tale. I'd imagine
they took some liberties.
I want it to be like very
like how in the documentary about
the McAfee guy from the antivirus, how like
all the women like told a story of him like wanting to like be shit on or whatever.
Shit on through a hammock.
So they would be on the hammock.
He liked like the the indents that it would the rope would come out like Play-Doh.
Yeah.
Like the Play-Doh haircut.
Cool shapes.
And I was trying to write an entire book.
I would start saying shit after a while, though.
Yeah.
To fill the pages.
I'm reading a Norm MacDonald's book right now, and I thought it was all real.
I don't think any of it's real.
I would think it's probably all fake.
But it's fucking hilarious, and it's really good.
It's very interesting.
I think it's both.
I think it's, yeah.
But then there's weird, I don't know.
You got to read it, I guess.
It's really good, though.
I will.
I'll read that shit.
I'm trying to watch Bo Burnham. It's really good, though. I will. I'll read that shit.
I'm trying to watch Bo Burnham's
extra shit. Oh, yeah.
I haven't done that yet.
I want to watch Stavros' special.
Yeah, I watched a little bit of that last night.
Super funny.
Did you see the edit of his
part of my take interview that they put in stool scenes?
Yeah, dude.
The way Rudy cut that was fucking
hilarious i didn't see it i'll pull it up yeah it's quick if we could watch it behind a few
seasons on stool scenes you got to catch up bro i'm excited to see what happens to francis
he's budding he's a budding spoilers please i haven't seen him in a minute i haven't either
hey i text him not too long ago. I text him a lot.
Just asking him for advice.
What does he say?
He's very helpful.
He's a good guy.
I'll play the devil's advocate in this conversation.
I don't text him.
That's fair.
That balances the argument a little bit.
We should just bring him in sometime and just one of the most days when Dave isn't here and just sneak him in.
I don't even think you'd have to sneak in.
You don't have to sneak in.
I got a text from, or not a text, a message from Ebony.
And she was like, hey, Tom's here to see you.
I'm like, what?
She was like, he said he wants to battle.
And some dude brought a deck of Pokemon cards while I was on Rediscovering America.
And she was like, nah, we handled him.
She just played him.
She beat him. She bodied him. You got to play me first. You nah we handled him. She just played him. She beat him.
She bodied him.
You gotta play me first.
You have the type advantage.
She's just gate
Hitchyot EX
destroyed him
with a fucking mirror move.
She just had her own deck
like flipping it
between her hands
like a magician.
You wanna get to Nick
you must defeat me first.
Come at me.
You go first, bitch
Nobody is so tough at Pokemon
That would be so sick
That would be
I miss those like
Those like old Pokemon
And like Bakugan
And Beyblade commercials
Yeah
Where they're just in like a dark alley
It's always kind of like a drug deal
Yeah
And then all of a sudden
They bring out the big ass Beyblade arena
What kinds of shit are
they advertising to kids now on like uh children's channels those uh those those things that big cat
has the guns yeah it's like guns those are everywhere yeah those are everywhere or like it
used to be like games and shit now is it like computer games or like shit you can download on
your ipad and shit now oh i get a lot of ads for like these like really really shitty phone games
now but those games where you like download it and then like a week later you realize do you and shit? No. I get a lot of ads for these really, really shitty phone games now,
but those games
where you download it
and then a week later
you realize you just spent
like $10,000 real dollars
on the game
buying in-game purchases.
You can't stop getting spammed
with unknown callers.
I've said this before,
but the amount of money
I spent on Smurfs Village
when I was legally able to drink.
Bad, man.
Should I come to the bar next? Dude, I spent like $12 so I get
vanity Smurfs. Vanity.
And I could change my Smurfs clothes.
I wasn't even playing
with anybody.
Imagine being a young child.
What do you mean?
How easy you would fall for that so much easier.
Not me.
From your parents' point of view,
it's the only thing that calms you down.
Yeah.
It gives them like some...
A little bit of the iPad.
They can play Smurfs Village.
They can pay for the fishing hole.
One of my buddies spent a lot of money on GTA 5.
Yeah, the new Passifier.
GTA 5?
I spent probably $1,000 on Fortnite.
You have spent $1,000?
Really?
I don't even want to know how much I've spent.
Because at one point you were spending a lot of money.
That was the one that I was always super against, people spending money on.
I don't know.
That might be an exaggeration, but I've spent a lot of money on Fortnite.
Unconsciously.
Just like, oh, that's cool.
$10.
That's fucking crazy.
How about the battle passes?
You buy all the battle passes, that's $300.
Well, I didn't buy all of them
No but I thought if you
If you completed every battle pass
You had enough coins
To get the second one for free
If you didn't spend them
On other skins
Run down over?
Yeah
How was it?
Get on back in here brother
I don't know who posted that
In 15 minutes but
You just kept the
Kept the act in dude
Yeah I know
It's the spirit of the show
I missed you guys
So I wanted to come back in
Good I'm glad
We've been having a good time.
Was Dave noodled?
No.
He went to the doctor on his shoulder.
He said the doctor was like, you shouldn't even be alive.
Wow.
Your shoulder's so bad?
Holy shit.
That sucks.
What if he had to get his shit amputated and we just had a one-armed boss single-handedly
running the company?
I don't think you can have a one-armed boss.
No?
I don't think so.
They need to do this move at their desk.
Yeah.
Tent their fingers.
You can't tent if you can like do this.
Nobody could be fired because you could only fire people sitting like this.
That's why Bob Dole didn't win the presidency.
Because of his limp ass arm.
He had a limp arm.
Was he against Clinton?
Bob Dole.
What appendage was Paul McCartney's wife missing?
Was that a leg?
She had no clitoris. Not many other options.
Oh yeah, she had no leg.
Was it no leg? Okay.
Does Dave have a torn labrum?
Yeah, he's got a torn everything.
I mean, six months recovery time.
That's what he said. He needs to be in a sling too.
Hasn't this been going on for years?
You sound like you're happy.
No, I'm just saying that's like the recovery time.
So he'll be good for...
Download a sling?
He's making a sling.
Sling.
Tonight.
We should actually do...
Can you sell that live on...
Sling?
What?
His surgery?
Because it's a sling?
That would be a very interesting surgery.
Is he getting surgery?
He's deciding.
He said he got a steroid shot, so he feels good right now.
And those steroid shots can last up to a year.
But if it doesn't, like he said, if it starts hurting in two weeks, then he's got to get surgery.
Let's get the surgery.
He'll be throwing like the kid from fucking...
Six months is a long time, though.
To be like, I'm going to be incapacitated.
Yeah, but it's also, it's not like he's, what is he doing that he needs?
Oh, December?
Yeah.
Yeah, that sucks.
He'll be able to play snowball.
What about cheering?
He's got another arm.
Man.
You ever put a collar on your dog with one arm?
It's impossible.
You should probably get it after the NBA Finals.
You got to lasso it.
Yeah, you do.
Lasso the collar It's the only way
That he'll
Be able to put a collar
On his dog
But he'll be hitting
Half court shots though
Again finally
Yeah
Yeah the doctor said
He shouldn't have done that
That's pretty much
Why he went
Just to vindicate himself
On the half court shot
Yeah
I'm so excited
For KP's wild tomorrow
It's gonna be awesome
I don't know what to believe.
It's kind of like
Juice's Wild.
There wasn't many elements
in that.
No.
I'm going to have to
invent it tonight,
I guess.
We all knew that.
We'll have to define
what it is.
No shit.
Please make it
very elaborate
so it can take
a full show.
I know you guys
are excited for
what my spin.
Yeah.
Your brain concocts.
I know.
There was a beer called KB.
I was just going to make someone drink it.
What was that beer?
What?
It was just KB?
Yeah.
Huh.
There's a place called KB Toys.
I'll make sure.
Oh, yeah.
I'll make sure it works.
Toys R Us? They're done. Yeah, they've been done for a long time. Oh, yeah. I'll make sure it works. Toys R Us, they're done.
Yeah, they've been done for a long time.
Oh, wow.
Stanko did this.
He fucking stole the giraffe mascot from Jell-O.
Yeah, Jell-O was the first.
Really?
Yeah, because the giraffe loved the way it felt sliding down his long old neck.
That's like one of the main thrills of Jell-O.
That's true when it goes down your neck.
Thrill of the swallow.
Throat.
Oh, there it is.
Jello.
Oh, damn.
Look at that second can.
Looks like a bean can.
I wish beers came like that.
Australia.
Look at the kangaroo.
Didn't they used to?
Isn't that what beer cans look like?
Is that Joey Molinaro?
Has he done a KB yet?
No, he has the kangaroo logo.
Oh, yeah, he does.
Joey.
It's a Joey.
Get it?
That's a sick logo. he has the kangaroo logo. Oh, yeah, he does. It's a Joey. Get it? You were wearing
Actually, a sick logo.
I wish I had a logo.
I wish I had a fucking logo so bad.
Get someone to make you one.
If only your name were an animal.
Damn.
What kind of cat do you correlate with the most?
People want to logo you up.
Fat bodega cat.
Nah, Sphinx.
Sitting, sleeping perfectly in a Reese's Pieces box.
Because I ate them all.
That's a sweet logo.
Simple.
I love when I see a bodega cat sleeping in a box.
We all should have our own individual logos.
DM any suggestions to the Yak and we will.
Someone make a logo.
Non-royalty.
Yeah.
We can maybe air a bunch.
We should actually get all of us get logos
and then put it on a shirt and have like a...
That would be sick.
Yeah.
The old NBA jackets where it was just covered in every logo.
Yeah, but also like logos.
Yeah, like it's almost you have no idea what you're looking at,
but Yak fans do.
Yeah.
There's a collage of random.
Yeah, because they have nothing to do with us.
Yeah, someone do some kind of logo where it's like.
Make them real complex and real fucking good.
Somebody sent me a case race logo over the weekend.
Check this out.
Whoa.
Oh, that's awesome.
God damn.
That is really cool.
I can't wait for the second one.
That's awesome.
We have to do something with that.
I think we're going to have to have Bernard come in for the second case race.
Is he booze?
No, but he will do puppets for us.
Can we have Jerry in just to...
Puppets or poppers?
Both.
Was he a hot dog?
Maybe if he could bring us some hot dogs and Jerry could wild...
Jerry could kind of Jerry style them for us.
Should we add an element of hot dogs that you have to eat in the case race?
Every hot dog knocks off a beer.
Oh. Then you're off a beer. Oh.
Then you're just having fun.
Oh, yeah, that sucks.
We can't do that.
We could do the 9-9-9 during a baseball game.
We should do that.
Yeah.
During a Mets game, yeah.
6-12-8-24.
Or the All-Star game.
Should we do it for the All-Star game?
Oh, yeah.
When is the All-Star game?
Probably in July.
July.
July what?
I think that might be when we're playing mini golf.
July what?
July.
I believe that's mini golf.
July 19th.
Oh, no.
We could do it.
Yeah.
9-9-9 for the All-Star game.
Do a special one.
Do a special Yak 9-9-9.
Okay.
During the All-Star game.
What's 9-9-9?
Nine.
Jerk off nine times every inning.
Yeah, what? Is there another nine? I don't think there is another nine.
Nine innings, nine dogs, nine beers.
Yeah, that will be very funny.
We'll do a live yak.
When is this? July?
Or do we tape
it and then we're running the next day?
No, no, no. We should
spin a wheel to see what food of nine we
each have to eat.
It has to be a ballpark. No, no, no. We should spin a wheel to see what food of nine we each have to eat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It could be food to drink.
It has to be a ballpark.
It has to be a ballpark food.
You get a pizza.
Nine pizzas.
You get nine more beers.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, we're doing that.
Nine nachos.
Nine nachos.
We're setting that up.
Nine family baskets of chicken tenders.
That's done. There it is. chicken tenders. That's done.
There it is.
That's awesome.
Done.
Are we doing just all beers, or is it another wheel that links in a different alcoholic drink?
Nine of a specific alcoholic drink.
Or just beers.
Can we simulcast it, or no?
We can't, right?
We could put up the score app in the corner that live updates or something, like the game cast.
We couldn't put the game on our stream, obviously.
What about a radio broadcast of the game?
Probably not.
I could check on that, though.
What if we did an old All-Star game?
That would actually be better.
If we did an All-Star game from the 90s, I think the point stays the same.
No, TJ, check that.
Okay, please?
All right.
We've got to be able to watch an old all-star game in its totality.
Never give no for an answer.
Did Pokey Reese play in an all-star game ever?
One?
Yes.
Or maybe we do a wheel of all the all-star games and we land on one to watch.
How sick would that be if we were watching, like, yeah, like...
The one where Torrey Hunter picked up Barry Bonds?
Oh, yeah.
The one where Larryrey Hunter picked up Barry Bonds. Oh, yeah.
Where Larry Walker put his... Randy Johnson threw behind him and he put his helmet on backwards.
Yes, that was sweet.
And Orton Jr. wore a backwards hat during one.
One where people talked about the fact that the American League pitchers were, like, hitting.
Oh, what about the one that was a tie?
We should do the tie.
We should watch the tie.
And everyone wore ties.
Watch the tie.
They were selling ties.
We're talking about baseball sets.
Did that one go to extras or no?
It did.
It went like one or two.
And then Bud Selig sitting in the front row was like, it's over.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Weren't there still pitchers?
Like there were pitchers who hadn't gone yet or something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
We'll do the 999.
I don't know if we have to do the all-star game.
Maybe it's fun if we could find a random game
That we could watch along
And do it in like the middle of the day
Yeah
Oh just like some minor league shit?
Yeah like something
Whatever we could watch
Because I think that would make
Because it doesn't matter
Right that would make part of it the fun
That people can watch the game with us
Let's do like a t-ball game
Why don't we just play
A video game
Oh we could just do a simulation
of a game in a video yeah we should just simulate how we do that we just do computer versus computer
and then we'll be the show of would the game go too fast though yeah probably uh we can probably
set it up yeah so that it's like not on fast that's the answer those sports games you can
make so it's like real time that's the. And we can maybe load the rosters with like legends.
Or us.
Or us.
Us.
Us against legends?
All right.
Now we got it.
Beautiful.
And then we can do it whenever we want.
Yeah, I look into it.
And if you hit a home run, you get to knock a beer off.
If our player gets to hit it.
Yeah, if you're a guy, hits a home run.
We're going to have to figure out how we knock one thing off.
We can make our batting order with us in it.
Because there's kind of a wheel.
And we pinch hit.
We'd have some people pitch.
Wow, this is going to be exciting.
Do you guys have any positions you want to play?
First.
I want to play first, too.
All right.
I also want to play first.
Three first basemen?
First base.
A full infield or first baseman?
We'll put the other first baseman at second and third.
All right, perfect.
I'm cool playing anything aside
for the outfield.
Could we play the Home Run Derby?
Or is that also?
Like Simulator? I think so.
I'm saying could we watch the Home Run Derby?
Oh, same thing.
Would you guys want to do it in person at the Little League World Series?
That would be amazing.
They play six innings. We have to go 6-6-6. We to do it in person at the Little League World Series? That would be amazing. That would be awesome.
That would be so fun. They play six innings.
We have to go six, six, six, which is a rule that I abide by.
Do they sell booze at the Little League World Series?
I'm the D-man.
No, but me and my friends went, and there's hotels right across the street,
so you could do like four locos there.
Okay, sweet.
Nobody else is drunk there.
I would assume, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, but that adds to it.
It makes it fun.
What if we do acid?
We do a bunch of acid at the Little League World Series?
Tab an inning.
That's August 17th, 2018.
Sick.
That would be fucking sick.
At the Little League World Series?
That would be fucking sick. At the Little League World Series. That would be so funny.
We're getting airlifted out off of the field.
I could see Donnie doing that and just being like, what?
Yeah, oh, he's probably done it before.
I hope someone gets beer as their second thing.
Yeah.
It was 9-9.
Two beers in the inning?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think I'd be able to.
You'd have to try.
Yeah, you would.
Me and Big Cat
would be fine.
Big Pat put you
in his little pouch
when you were
his little Joey.
Shut the fuck up.
He was hopping around
with you,
carrying you
the whole time.
You three had
four beers total
combined.
Me and Big Cat,
what do we have,
40?
Give it to us.
Give it to us.
Do the,
do it. Do what now. Do the, do it.
Do what now?
Jesus Christ.
Come on, do it.
I'm not doing that.
Please.
I'm done with that, actually.
Who won the MVP in the NBA this year?
I have no clue.
Yes, you do.
Which one is for the Nuggets?
It's Obi.
Alone?
What? alone what I love how Che turns on his camera
so we can hear his mic so we can hear the second half
of his laugh
I'm the Joker baby
it was the Joker
I'm the Joker
I'm the Joker
I'm the Joker
why are you shying away from it?
Why don't you want to play the hits?
I can only do it if I'm really drunk
That's like going to the Lumineers
And they don't play Hey Ho, dude
Fucking Riot
And Riot
Yeah, Rowan's opening for them
Are we going to all go to that?
You should
Probably should
I'm going There's a KFC radio live right before it too Oh really? Oh hell yeah Rowan's opening for them, so... Are we going to all go to that? You should. No, no. Probably should.
I'm going.
There's a KFC radio live right before it, too.
Oh, really?
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, nice.
Damn, they got DC?
Sass only got Arlington.
What are they doing?
Do you know where they're doing?
Where are they doing it? Yeah.
Biggest fucking theater there.
Probably, yeah.
I don't know.
Probably the improv.
Who's to say?
I gotta go.
Yeah.
Damn, it's 240.
Ain't no way.
It just feels so good.
Shit.
I don't know who those guys are.
Are they PLL?
Obviously.
I don't think so.
No, those aren't athletes.
I think they're PLL social media.
Jason.
Vrabel will be in here tomorrow.
Really? Yeah. Is it Vrabel or Rabel? V social media. Vrabel will be in here tomorrow. Really?
Yeah.
You said Vrabel or Rabel?
Vrabel.
Vrabel.
He can let loose a little bit now that he's not playing.
That'll be sick.
I've been waiting to see his true colors, his true personality.
I know, he's been holding back.
Do guys on lacrosse teams bust balls?
No.
I don't think so.
They suck each other off. Yeah, there's don't think so. They suck each other off.
Yeah, there's chips on their shoulder.
They love each other.
They don't joke around.
They're brothers.
They love.
They make good SoundCloud mashups.
Yeah, that's a fact.
That's a fact.
That's more of a hockey thing.
See the profile pictures of high school lacrosse pick?
Yeah.
Yeah, Avon Old Farms 2015.
Incredible.
It's the best of all time.
Incredible mashup of long best of all time. Incredible mix up, mash up of.
Yeah.
Long socks.
Different hits.
Because you never know how they're going to get a fray song to be hype.
Uh-huh.
But then when the beat drops.
Weekend Millionaires on SoundCloud.
Yeah.
Put the fray with some EDM.
It's fire.
Incredible.
The chord progressions, they sound like they could thump a little bit.
Same chord progression on that as Closer.
Closer stole that from The Fray,
and The Fray are now credited as writers of Closer.
What?
Wow.
All three of them probably made a big payday.
Yeah.
That sucks.
The Closer was so similar to a Fray song that they wrote it.
Wow. Damn. damn more you know
there's so many people in prisons that have never heard that song it's kind of sad they all have tvs in prison you ever see the prison tiktok accounts they're all
like living life lavish dude they're fucking four-star meals. They get McDonald's.
The funniest is in Trailer Park Boys when they're like,
I want to go back to jail and be with my friends.
Or no, wait, that's not Trailer Park Boys.
A lot of it was.
Yeah, they wanted to go back to jail. They did want to go back to jail.
They like going to jail for the summer.
People, I mean, there's good camaraderie in jail.
And it's called being institutionalized.
That's why recidivism rates are so high.
Guys being dudes.
Not all birds are meant to be caged.
What do you mean by that?
Talk on that for a while.
Yeah, Greer said, actually, never mind.
What, dude?
You guys read the message and let me know if I can say it.
Oh, yeah, you can.
Did he text me, too?
No.
Yeah, you can say it. Just the boys. can. Did he text me too? No. Yeah, you can say it.
Just the boys.
I had to text.
Greer, are we allowed to say this?
I think he won't care. I'll read it.
He didn't text me. I can say it.
He didn't text it to you, so I don't know if you can see the message.
Show it to me.
Resnick sucked ass.
He said he hated Resnick.
I don't like this Resnick slander.
I don't know.
He said he was one of the guys.
Yeah, same.
Okay.
Confirmed.
Jay, you're struggling with the mic today.
There were several guys.
He was one of them.
What?
Who else?
Give us some more names.
That's not my business to air, but...
I mean, you're airing out the fact that you just didn't like this random dude.
I can speak for myself.
I didn't,
you know,
he's been struggling lately.
You know that he was,
he was going through a really rough patch in his life.
He deals with mental health.
It's hard to hear.
Jay,
you hate this guy.
I hate him.
That's fascinating.
I'll see you guys. I'm excited for KB's wild tomorrow. Uh, yeah hate this guy. I hate him. It's fascinating. I'll see you guys.
I'm excited for KB's Wild tomorrow.
Yeah.
All right.
Are you guys staying on?
Nah.
Nah.
You guys can keep yakking.
We got to record.
I love that you guys are back.
Yeah.
Yeah, it feels good.
It does.
That means a lot to you guys.
It means a lot to us.
Go kiss him.
That's great.
I don't want to leave.
I want to keep this going.
KB's wild kiss.
Yes, sir.
Does KB stand for kiss ball?
Oh!
Good.
Let's play it.
Good.
Kiss ball?
What's the rules again?
Throw the ball up as far or whatever height you want.
You kiss until it lands.
Or you could drop the ball and you could kiss until it comes back up.
You have to catch it or you have to go again.
Yeah.
What if you don't throw it that high because you don't want to kiss that badly?
We're playing with a helium balloon, baby.
A million dollars to the winner.
Cash prize.
Is there any type of record?
Yeah.
Who got the most kisses?
42.
Me and KB.
Nah, but me and Sass got one kiss,
but it was...
It was passionate.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is an element.
Yeah, there's two judges.
We should find out
the best kisser on the act.
Quality.
We should do a bracket.
Quality can beat quantity
in kiss ball.
Oh, you have one of
Glennie's ain't kissed.
Then there's stamina. The Mormons have that down. They can go for hours. Hey, you a in kiss ball. Oh, you have one of Glennie's kisses. And then there's stamina.
The Mormons have that down. They can go for hours.
Hey, you a good kisser? Criteria.
On the lips?
Jesus Christ, Jay.
You're a perv.
On the pussy lips, yeah.
Pussy lips. He's like one of those guys you like, you have to make out with the clit.
Like, it's her lips.
Remember in American Pie 2 when they, like, found the book hidden in the library?
You definitely have one of those books.
Probably the best place to hide a book.
It was, like, under the floorboards of the library,
and it had all the pussy-eating techniques for the whole town.
Everyone in the town would contribute their verse, like their Bible.
Jeez.
I mean, I told you what I did.
It was similar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We all know the story.
Yeah, we know.
Oh, man.
Kyle, we have to submit our tiers to TJ by three.
That's in 15 minutes.
Completed, or just the...
I think we're tiering them alive, but we're just
sending him what tiers we want.
Okay. Does there need to be
a corresponding graphic for it? I think we could just
go to Tier Maker and find one. Yeah. Just send me
a Tier Maker link. Cool.
Alright, let's wrap it up.
Alright, let's wrap it up It's time to talk shop and do a Yankee pop. It's the act.
It's the act. Sling tonight, 5 p.m.
Link to watch for free is on the Brandon Walker Show Twitter account.
Watch.