The Yak - KB Challenges the Entire Barstool Office to Some Rasslin | The Yak 5-8-23
Episode Date: May 8, 2023We all live in a yellow submarineYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstool...yak
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You can't hold that up.
Hello.
I pulled up the yak on YouTube just to see, like, why is it broken or what's going on.
And the chat was just going in hyperspeed.
Pissed off that we were a few minutes late.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, it's nice.
We're part of people's schedule.
We've got to be more punctual.
You're right.
That's fair.
That's on us.
Yak, sponsored by Roback.
Roback.com.
Use code YAK.
20% off your first purchase.
Best hoodies.
Best hoodies, best polos, best joggers.
I'm wearing the joggers right now.
They have shorts out as well.
Promo code YAKROBAK.COM.
Go check it out today.
It is Sass.
I don't know where he is.
Roan is on Most Dangerous Game. We got KB, me, Kate, Nick, and Brandon fresh off his music video,
The Yellow Submarine is here.
What's up, Sergeant Pepper?
We all live in a...
Look at you.
Found the walrus.
Yeah.
Just wearing a shirt.
Looking good, feeling good.
You got to be the least drug guy ever to wear a drug guy shirt.
It's a drug guy shirt.
It's a little bit.
I mean, it does look like the
beatles okay well that's not what i was going for i was just i just thought it was uh spring right
off the bat huh brandon yeah just right into it yeah oh coming off a weekend too great weekend
yeah hanging out sports sports nick you were in england, by the way, Outback
Outback food is real
We didn't know that
They told us it wasn't real, though
We didn't make that up
They said the food was fake
This food is real
Look at that
What do you mean you guys thought it was fake?
The first time they brought it
They said, do not eat this, it's fake
I knew it was real, but I figured it was sprayed with a gloss.
I thought it was sprayed with gloss.
It was gloss.
But none of this is.
The ribs are glossy.
I'm going to eat up.
He's going to eat some ribs.
That will not piss anyone off.
Nick, tell us about England, dude.
Let's keep talking about Brandon's shirt.
Okay.
I think you had a good time.
Did you get a free bowl of soup with that shirt?
It's a fine shirt.
I don't know.
The salesperson was like, God, thank God someone finally bought this shirt.
Yeah.
I wasn't in the pro shop for the last three years.
I do have a backup shirt.
You have a backup shirt? I always bring a backup shirt. You have a backup shirt?
I always bring a backup shirt.
You weren't 100% sure of what?
If the shirt was going to play.
This is a worst-case scenario.
I think it's playing.
I think the shirt plays.
Don't you think the shirt plays?
No.
I mean, you look like you finally took your wife on a vacation to Daytona Beach.
That's exactly what I'm going for. Okay. That's who I am.
Ocean Springs. Yeah.
Standing at the La Quinta Inn.
How was that? Oh, terrible.
You spent half of your
vacation budget on that shirt.
Fair. Fair, yes.
Yeah. No.
This is a very Gulf Breeze, Florida shirt.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a guy who doesn't live there going down there once. very Gulf Breeze, Florida shirt. Yeah. Yeah. It's a guy who doesn't live there going down there once.
Thinking Gulf Breeze, Florida is the ultimate.
In like our big night, Friday night, I'm going to pop off this shirt.
That shit wouldn't fly in London.
No?
Oh, shit.
That shit ain't, that isn't posh.
Have you dropped any mates or cheers?
That's my home, man.
I need to get back.
It's so weird seeing cars drive on the right side of the road.
I mean, I don't know.
Ever since moving back, I haven't felt right.
And, yeah, some people might say,
Nick, you were on the plane longer than you were there.
Yeah.
All right.
What would you say to those people?
Whilst correct, I'd ignore them.
There we go.
I'd ignore them.
Was there any, like, cultural, like, shock?
Yeah, dude. Everybody'd ignore them. Was there any, like, cultural, like, shock? Yeah, dude.
You didn't expect?
Everybody's so ugly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, we were talking about that.
So there's that guy who went viral who people thought was a Meghan Markle in prosthetics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I was like, no, like, England does ugly better than any other country.
But they do it.
They're so comfortable with it.
That's all they've known.
Right.
My mom was like, Nick, be safe.
What?
Well, be safe.
I'm not letting somebody that talks like that jump me or steal.
They're going to come and ask for all my quid.
I'm going to laugh.
Just give them a fucking piece of pork and a few beans,
and they'll go on their way.
I said stay out of Piccadilly.
No, you're not taking the fucking money, dude.
Can you find the guy who everyone thinks is...
He's one of the ugliest guys I've ever seen.
No, no, there though.
Kelly King's just blogged it, so it should be on them.
They're great at ugly.
Barstool's popular over there.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, and they sent us...
They recommended Tommy to go to this bar called Gay.
Okay.
And they told me to go to a bar called Inferno.
And I said, why?
And they said, because it's absolute carnage.
Ooh.
And I did.
Is that what they said?
Yeah, it was the gay bar Tommy went to.
I just went out front.
Tommy bought that hat so he wouldn't look like a tourist.
And he was the only person on the entire,
maybe in all of Europe, wearing a hat like that.
Yeah, look at this guy.
He's exceptionally ugly. That's very sexually appealing to them.
Yeah, that's hot.
Matty Healy, who is dating Taylor Swift, I guess.
Yeah.
He's like the sex god.
Yeah. No, but the sex god. Yeah.
No, but I miss it, man.
I'm going to move back.
I mean, I don't know.
It's crazy to think I live there.
Did you get to see any pictures of King Charles' fingers?
Oh, those big boys?
Those, I guess.
I asked about them.
Every time.
I miss this.
So I went there to do Man on the Street primarily,
and I was thinking it was going to be wild and rowdy.
It was tough.
Yeah.
You just had to go talk to people,
and they were very well put together.
It was rainy.
Everybody's just kind of sad.
About the queen?
No, just in general.
There was no shenanigans.
Zero shenanigans.
Day drinkers, paraders.
He interviewed a day drinker who just had his own cooler beer,
and Nick was like, oh, you partying?
He's like, not really.
Really just not much going on.
So do you guys want some?
And you were like, yeah.
And then you guys just quietly opened the beers,
and there was like, yeah.
And I was like, man, I'm bored.
He's like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're boring better than ever.
Look at this guy's fingers.
Yeah, they're little Vienna sausage.
Oh, my God.
That's all heart. No, I don't think so. That's a heart issue, right? guy's fingers. Yeah, they're little Vienna sausage. Oh, my God. That's photoshopped.
No, I don't think so.
That's going to be a heart issue, right?
He's swollen.
There's another one that's like, what you do, a B5?
Someone also accurately said, look at those.
Oh, those are real.
I would love to munch on those things.
That looks like there should be a toothpick in them and you get them for free at Costco.
Yeah, those are little smokies.
Yeah.
Delicious.
I mean, I guess there's a downside to only being the spawn of your family.
Right.
Just all of you fucking each other and then eventually you get that.
Yeah.
Look at those things.
Did you see the picture of Camilla afterwards?
No.
Just like drinking and her undergarment.
I don't know.
It looks sick.
They hate her.
Yeah, well, I was saying that if I were Camilla, I wouldn't.
I don't know if I would be queen because everyone's just going to be like,
remember when you killed Diana?
Yeah.
You just bring up the, like, don't ever trend if you have that in your closet.
But I also saw people saying, you got to respect that hoe.
She played the long game.
Yeah.
She got the crown.
Took her a while.
But she finally got it.
Finally got it.
A little respect.
When she was walking out, they were singing like something, something Camilla.
Oh, vagina.
They were saying like nice vagina Camilla.
Oh, because that's the member that was he got like wiretapped.
And there was the whole tampon gate where he wanted to climb up.
Oh, he wanted to be in her tampon.
He wanted to climb up her vagina.
Yeah.
So beautiful.
He's a fucking freak.
He's got an awesome, awesome pussy.
Well, imagine getting fingered by those hands.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
It's no different than, you're just getting fucked by a dick.
Just a, look at that.
Look at that.
That's the one I just said to TJ. Look at that. Look at that. That's the one I just said to TJ.
Look at that fucking thing.
Dude's wearing bangles on his pinky.
If you're a podcast listener, just imagine a hand with five little tiny chodes.
That is a penis hand.
A decent penis.
Yeah.
That's a good dick.
Also, I don't know what he's touching. That also looks like a penis hand A decent penis Yeah That's a good dick Also I don't know what he's touching That also looks like a penis
It looks more like a penis
Everything is phallic
Yeah
The whole presentation is just penises everywhere
It was fun?
It was a lot of fun
Got a lot of editing to do
It was a whirlwind two days
How was Tommy?
Rate Tommy on the KB spectrum.
He was hoping
we'd be friends at the end of it.
Yeah.
You know that's not going to happen.
Tommy.
What am I rating him on?
KB spectrum. Yeah, the Kyle
spectrum. What spectrum is that?
Autism.
Oh, pretty high.
Pretty high.
Tommy, I think, is the most puzzle piece of the bunch.
No, like KB, you go on the road with KB all the time.
KB and I have a system down where we work, we'll grab a drink,
and then go back to our rooms and just decompress.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
I know what you're saying.
Tommy trying to be your friend is bad.
It was the worst.
Some people just need, like, interaction at all times.
It's like when we go on the road for PMT, we'll have, like, Uber drives where we just don't say a word.
Where everyone's just like, we did that on Thursday.
We just went to, like, we had to go to a cocktail hour.
It was five of us in the car.
Nothing was said.
Yeah, that's nice.
Everyone just needs to, like, have their own 45 minutes of alone time.
It was so fast and there was so much we had to get done that it was,
Tommy's fucking hilarious and he's not shy at all.
And I thought he should be.
Well, he's kind of figured out a perfect life hack of, like,
his content is a lot of times intentionally cringe.
So if he just goes out and does it, what's the worst that can happen?
It's just intentionally cringe.
He was prepping it.
He's like, all right, I'm going to do this, and it's going to be funny.
He's going to be the star of the video for sure.
Get him in here.
He paid 300 pounds for a top hat.
What?
Yeah, he's not shy at all.
I was like, Tommy, let's chill.
He's like, no, no, no, come on.
Let's film this.
Let's do this.
He looks like somebody that would be shy, though.
He looks like a shy guy. Yeah, he's film this. Let's do this. He looks like somebody that would be shy, though. He looks like a shy guy.
Yeah, he's not shy.
Yeah, see, that's why he would be better than me,
because I have this innate fear of humiliation, embarrassment, failure.
No.
I'm working on it.
Stella Blue.
Gave out a lot of Stella Blue.
Look at that.
That was just a Ferris wheel?
Yeah, Ferris wheel.
Y'all looked like you were having a good time at the gay bar.
Was the weather trash?
Was it cloudy and grim?
One day it was just kind of misting and everybody was so excited.
It was like the nicest day they've had.
I was wearing a Kansas City Royals hat.
Tommy never got the joke.
Oh, no.
Is he still not caught in it?
He doesn't get it.
He's like, I was like, look.
And he's like, yeah, you're a Pirates fan.
Fuck, Tommy.
Didn't get it.
Damn.
Didn't get it.
See if Tommy will come in.
I'm excited for this video.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll see how it goes.
Checkup.
Did you have any food?
We did afternoon tea at a very, very nice place where we had to go get suits for.
We wore the top hat, and people were not happy
with Tommy's antics.
The woman next to us was very unhappy.
We were filming and taking photos.
Tommy didn't care. He stood up and did a thing.
It'll be in the video. She got mad.
Come on, sit down, Tom.
Sit on down.
Talking about England.
It was lovely.
You have a fun time?
Yeah, I did have a fun time yeah i did have a fun time um
all right thanks tommy all right no uh you say that's fine i would allow i would do whatever
you tell me did you it was funny i i thought it was very funny that uh nick was wearing that hat
fuck t no the other one. Royals? Yeah.
Yeah, that's funny.
Right, because it's the Royals.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When did that click for you?
Just now.
No, no.
He did say it.
No, you said at the airport.
Yeah, I was like, Tommy. The airport Thursday morning or whenever.
I texted him.
I was like, Tommy, I'm about to do the funniest thing of all time.
Yeah, and it was, I don't know if anyone actually in England picked up on it.
No.
I wouldn't expect them to.
No.
Did your fuck tea hats get comments at all?
Yeah.
Well, we got a lot of stairs.
Incredible amount of stairs the entire trip, I would say.
I was wearing a pretty regular suit and like a white linen shirt.
And Tommy was wearing this top hat walking around.
He's like, he looked at me.
He's like, people are staring daggers at us.
No.
So they don't wear top hats.
That specific tea room did not wear.
I was the only top hat.
That's kind of bullshit.
It was bullshit.
Yeah, like London tea room, that's a top hat place.
And the thing is, one would think.
First store we went into with suits had top hats.
Yeah.
I don't think you're getting that expense, by the way. I mean, it's a great
top hat. You can't go to London and
knock at a top hat.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, you don't fit
in. But I thought I would.
Right. But you can just tell
Nick looks oddly British.
It's blocked, but Nick has
some chest hair sticking out.
You're giving like a Hugh Grant energy.
Well, I think Nick has nailed British by wearing a regular hat all day and then taking it off so his hair sticking out. You need the wear like a Hugh Grant energy. Well, I think Nick has nailed British
by wearing a regular hat
all day
and then taking it off
so his hair looks terrible.
Thank you.
Yes, it did.
And it's very British.
Know what to do with it.
Yeah.
You found a way
to become more British.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I think I...
You can see right
where the hat was sitting.
Boom.
It's the shape of a hat still.
I think we did nothing
to help American stereotypes in London.
Fuck them.
Yeah, fuck them.
Fuck them.
And the Royals suck.
Did you walk away with a different respect for them in their culture or the opposite?
No change.
You're so obsessed with tradition.
Did you meet any people that were interesting?
Yeah, how long was this whole thing, too?
Because I didn't watch any of it.
We were there for two days.
Oh, the coronation was too long. We stood in a... thing too because i i i didn't watch any of it we were there for two days oh the coordination was
too long we standed we stood in we standed there i need to go home i need to get back there
when i got back and seeing cars drive on the right side i was just
laughing so you standed i standed in line for like it was like a single file for three miles at like 7.30 in the morning, 8 a.m.
It was a bunch of people just waiting for nothing in particular.
Yeah, and we were just walking.
We didn't know what we were walking.
So did they come by in a car?
No, no.
You had to buy tickets to get it.
Yeah, she drove right past us.
Who did?
Princess Kate.
Oh, she's hot.
Yeah, she's real hot.
I got it.
At first, I was like, I don't get it.
And then she kind of drove by, by surprise, in this car.
And I got a glimpse of her, and I was like, oh, my God.
Like, I get it.
Like, it was like, that's a princess.
That's a royal princess.
Yeah, you were attracted to her.
Yeah, you were just attracted.
Not even attracted to her.
I respected her.
You wanted to fuck her.
No, I would never.
I admired her.
Okay, you wouldn't fuck her?
Well, I would, yeah.
You just said, I would never.
You said, I would never. Well, it wasn't like I saw her, and I was like, oh, yeah, I got to fuck her. It was just you just said i would never you said i would never
it wasn't like i saw and i was like oh yeah i gotta fuck her it was just like oh my god that's
a princess so we're everything's walled off and you have to buy tickets to get into like golf
stands to watch these people by the palace and then there was a the same thing by westminster
abbey and it was walled the entire way there and so we're like going through this maze of streets
single file line that's all guarded off police police waving you down, like, all right, this way, this way.
And we asked, like, the person in front of us, what are we in line for?
And they're like, oh, we don't know.
And then we're standing next to these cops.
The cops there, it's funny, too, because, like, people are just, like, comfortable around them.
They're just, like, taking selfies.
You don't have guns, right?
No guns.
Yeah.
And so one cop goes, like, where are they going?
And the other cop goes, I don't know.
So there was really no.
So there was nothing to watch?
We ended up at a big-ass screen in their.
There was a screen, like a watch party.
There was a million people.
But that's where I thought they would be rowdy,
the people that didn't pay tickets, this open field.
No.
No. No.
We're just standing quietly.
They're more of like a late night.
They go hard all night than sleep in.
We went out on this street in Soho that was wild, but it was like.
Not because of the Royals.
No, no.
It was just like a bunch of drunk people.
You could bring the glasses out of the bar, and so people were just like breaking them.
At rules.
We saw a guy chasing another guy with a glass and threw it at him.
That's cool.
It was scary. Homeless. He had his his hat on so people were asking him for directions and yeah so i had
my so not the top hat i wore my green scally cap and i was like oh i'm gonna wear it out like on
the town tonight like obviously everyone's gonna be wearing these i was the only person anywhere
with the scally cap on we walked into the bar i saw nobody wearing it i turned around to tommy
and his is already off his head.
Yeah.
But yeah, cool.
I said it's just basically kind of like New York.
Maybe a little worse.
The homeless were.
No, not so bad.
None.
Unless they like kind of cleaned it up before the coronation.
But I didn't see any.
Yeah.
Just that one street with there was like a little camp tent of a few homeless.
Why would you be scared?
There was a guy who took a shit outside. I literally walked out of the office at 11 o'clock last night guy was taking a shit yeah yeah no i would be scared of him too oh yeah whatever i'm
just a pussy it's actually like a guy taking a shit has to be their most vulnerable position
we did go to get tommy is a pussy we went to go get coffee and this guy was hammered and he went
to the front of the line was was trying to order a beer.
And it was in the morning.
He was like, I want a beer.
And they were like, you have to get it at the front of the queue,
and we don't have beer.
And then this guy's trying to get behind the counter,
and we're waiting for our coffee.
Well, I thought we were.
And I was like, this guy's so drunk, it's whatever.
And I look for Tommy, and he's just standing on the outside
looking through the window.
He's already ran.
Yeah, I sensed conflict coming. I turn, and he's just standing on the outside looking through the window. He's already like ran. Yeah, I mean I sensed conflict coming.
I turn and Tom is just outside.
Also while this was happening,
there was just like an old lady being like,
I need a cup, I need a cup.
Like completely unaffected by the fact
that this guy was falling over.
She wanted a cup to go put wine in
and like get drunk off of in this cafe.
So it sounds like there was spurts of rowdiness.
Yeah, but it was the coronation of these people who had
a chemical dependency.
They were the town drunks.
And the flight?
Fine.
I had empty seats next to me way there, way back.
You laid down?
No Wi-Fi, though.
There was one next to you.
No Wi-Fi?
No Wi-Fi.
Oh, man.
That's fine. I think sometimes it's nice to disconnect. I tried-Fi? No Wi-Fi. Oh, man. That's fine.
I think sometimes it's nice to disconnect.
I tried to watch the movie Amsterdam, one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Christian Bale, Margot Robbie.
So you watched it?
I've never even heard of it.
I watched an hour and I turned it off.
I said this is too much.
That's watching it.
Well, I didn't complete it.
I can't say that I've seen the movie.
I've seen half of it.
Maybe I can.
Fair. Fair.
Yeah.
Want to hang out for the rest of the year?
Might as well.
It was fun, though.
I'll go back.
This weekend?
Probably.
It's great to go just for two days, let me tell you.
I'd like to see the rolling greens of the city, of the country.
The rolling greens.
I've been to the city, but I'd like to see the suburbs. You want to see the countryside?
Yes, the rolling greens. Is that the first time you'd gone to Europe?
No, I went to London to see
the Yankee Red Sox series.
You've only gone for spurts of two days.
Yes, to London. I went to Italy on a
school trip.
School went to Italy?
High school, yeah. Italian class.
Looking back, we should have just stayed a couple more days.
Why didn't you?
It was the flights.
We were just like, okay.
I mean, I was not – I got told like two days before,
so I wasn't in a position to make plans.
You should have said maybe, oh, that would be great if the Dolphins played in London
and we sent Frank and then he got to leave in the third quarter.
Sorry, dude.
Only flight.
I mean, based off the Kings' fingers, we'll be going back for the coronation.
Yeah, again.
Yeah.
Yeah, he doesn't.
You should have skipped him.
Yeah.
Everybody's amped up.
Everybody's amped up about William.
Does William have the fingers?
No, William doesn't.
William looks healthy.
Hmm.
And I think there was also Princess Di's security guard was going viral because he looks just like Harry.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Can you find that, TJ?
So Harry might not even.
Huh.
Yeah.
He's got to regret that decision, right?
Yeah, because he had to put out that book telling everybody he has a blue penis.
Yeah.
Apparently he went right to the airport afterwards
still in his costume.
Yeah, he got there 30 minutes before it started
and left as soon as it ended.
Damn.
He really is out.
He has a blue penis?
Apparently he has a blue penis, yeah.
Is that from circulation issues?
I think that's from the inbreeding.
No, he went on a hike and it got frostbitten
and now it's permanently...
Blue?
Like a little blue.
Does it work?
Tommy, you... it's permanently blue. Does it work? Tommy, you blue penis.
We were at that gay bar.
They had a bar that was called Gay.
A world of t-shirts
is, I don't know what the word, evolving
to a form that I didn't
know was possible.
He kissed a hot girl.
He was drinking.
You can watch it all.
He documents it. He wakes up and he
starts drinking in New York City.
He drinks all day, all night. Now he's
going to gay bars. He's developing a gambling
habit. He is drinking
so much. He's documenting
the whole thing. Do you still have this dude following
him around? That guy's still in the picture.
Total creep. Total creep.
Paul Mullins wants us to go on his
tour for stool scenes and so we're going to try to do that yeah he does tours but um shirt check
he's wearing the same shirt three days in a row we'll have to check today the hats are saying the
hats growing a biome of its own i think the hat's at 31 days in a row i think he's someone is keeping
track he's at 125 days straight that hat hat. No, a day of binge drinking.
Oh, okay.
Did you guys, have you met him?
Were you at the bar?
I was with him.
I saw him in public.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's taking pictures.
You guys should do his tour.
I want to so bad.
He sings and dances.
Oh, man.
Never meet your heroes, though.
I know.
The tour has no, he just, it's random, right?
How much does he charge for?
You meet him and you don't know where you're going.
It's 40 bucks,
but you get one drink?
Get a free drink.
Why one?
He got interviewed
by one of those.
Hey, what's your career?
How much do you make?
And he said he's
a freelance tour guide
who spends $5,000 plus
on drinks a month,
I think.
He drinks in Ubers.
He just started drinking?
He doesn't live in New York City.
Yeah, he's turned 21,
like, not even a year ago,
and he's drinking.
And he stopped brushing his teeth.
Oh, no.
Absolutely.
He's still kissing girls, apparently.
The girl he kissed,
she was very pretty.
Like, she probably,
probably Tommy will be dating her soon.
Yeah.
But he, like, grabbed her and kissed her.
But that was after he licked, like, every ground surface.
Oh, he was licking the ground again.
He was licking Times Square.
People are saying, like, oh, he's going to die soon.
Like, no.
Like, alcoholics can go for a while.
Long time.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Long time.
He's not going to die soon.
He's going to be around for a long time.
Yeah.
This is bad, Kyle.
Oh, fuck.
He reminds me of me.
I drink in the same manner he does.
You drink like that?
It's just like you're focused on just constantly sipping,
even though you hate the taste.
Him on Cinco de Mayo, he was shit-faced at like 9 a.m.
and puking, and then he ended up at somebody's apartment.
Oh, he's the best.
My TikTok is all his stuff or people logging what he's doing.
Yeah.
It's perfect.
Yeah.
Curated just world of t-shirts.
I got to follow him.
I have to get more into his world.
You're not into his world?
TJ, do you know?
He's probably already posted the good morning, USA.
He was out until like 3 a.m. He still doesn't know the words to the song. He's probably already posted the good morning, USA. He was out until-
He still doesn't know the words to the song.
He's trying to lip sync.
He doesn't know the words yet.
The American Bad Team song?
Yeah.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
All right, I got to get in it.
You got to get into the world of t-shirts.
Yeah.
Brandon, why are you anxious?
I'm not.
You are.
Your legs are-
Your legs bounce a mile a minute.
Are they? I didn't know everybody was paying attention to my anxious? I'm not. You are. Your legs are bouncing. A mile a minute. Are they?
I didn't know everybody was paying attention to my legs.
I'm sorry.
By the way, Stephen Che is sick, which we all saw coming.
Yeah.
What was on the prep sheet?
What's your favorite cough drop on Friday?
There was another one, too.
Literally, we had a sore throat and was looking.
Yeah.
We're like, okay, Stephen Che is sick, and then today he's like, yeah, I'm sick.
No shit, dude.
Yeah, so pretty.
What was the other?
There were two of them.
One was cough drop and the other one was like.
How often do you have blood in your stool?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
By the way, Outback, this is real food.
Wait, I can tell he's doing Good Morning USA.
Today?
Two hours ago.
He's back.
He's close to us
Wait
Where is that
Doesn't it
That might be 30
Second
If we go yak spy cam
And we don't end the yak
Until you find him
Do you think you
We could do it in two hours
Yeah I could find him
Pretty quickly
Two hours
No way
Yeah
Unless he's in Queens
Or the Bronx
He's just live
Most of the time
That he's not posting
because that's how he makes most of his money is off of his live streams.
Where's this?
You can live track him.
He's everywhere.
This looks like Brooklyn.
Yeah, Brooklyn.
Or Bayside.
He was in Bayside until 3 a.m. last night.
Is this yesterday?
This is one hour ago.
Oh, so where did he sleep?
Is he in the hat?
Is he in the hat? Is he in the hat?
It's the hat he bought in Italy.
He stayed in a hotel last night.
He's got a tour this Friday.
That was the same shirt as past two days.
That's 2,100 hours on Friday.
What's 2,100?
He went to Italy and came back and he only does European time.
How do you not know military time?
He gets mad at you when you say military time.
It's European.
Oh.
I do know it, but I get confused.
It's minus 12.
No, you subtract two.
19?
No, so if it was like 2,200 hours, it would be 8 o'clock.
That's subtracting.
No, that's subtracting.
Noon, 1,500 is 3 o'clock.
3, 4, 5.
You add 2.
Oh, it's just noon plus 3.
You're saying 15.
I'm never good at math.
This is why I'm...
I get what Kate's saying.
I get it, but it wouldn't be easier to subtract 12.
21, 20, 19, 9 o'clock.
No.
No.
21 minus 12 is not.
I could do the earlier work hours.
24 hours in a day.
Zero hundred is midnight.
Zero hundred.
They call it that?
Zero.
It's minus 12.
If it's 21, you minus 12, that's 9 p.m.
No, you minus 2. Oh, no p.m. No, you minus 2.
Oh, no.
Yeah, you're saying you minus 2 to 19.
Like, 1,600 is 4 o'clock.
You subtract 2.
Right?
Subtract 2 and drop the 1.
We'll say 1,600.
Yeah, yeah.
So, 16 minus 2.
Yeah, 6 minus 2 is 4.
16 minus 12 is 4.
Right.
18 minus 12 is 6. I. 18 minus 12 is 6.
I'm not thinking of anything right now.
You're just doing minus 2 and then...
Blank face.
But it still is like 14.
Like 20, 200.
I'm sorry.
Right.
Military people watching, that's all the zeros you subtract 2, that's 8.
It's like 10 minus 2 is 8.
Why are you doing 20?
20 minus two is eight.
24 hours in a day.
It makes sense in my head.
It shouldn't.
I know what you're doing, but when you say subtract two, you're subtracting.
Like 2,300, you subtract two, that's 11.
You see what I'm saying?
No, you're subtracting 12.
No, that one I lost, John. Subtracting saying? No, you're subtracting 12. No, that one I lost.
Subtracting 12.
200, you subtract 2.
3 minus 2 is 1, so you get 11.
Okay, that makes sense, but you see what I'm saying?
Like, when it's 20 minus 12, it's 8 p.m.
I don't know why I was subtracting 12.
19 minus 12 is what?
Oh, my God. 7 o'clock. You're saying don't know why I was attracting 12. 19 minus 12 is what? Oh, my God.
7 o'clock.
You're saying 19 minus 2 is 7 o'clock.
I always...
19 minus 2 is 17.
You're disregarding the first digit.
You only do the very last digit, and you should track 2.
Because the last digit would be negative.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Second to last digit.
No, no, no, no.
Just the second.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying.
We're doing the same thing.
Oh, you're not really doing the same thing.
She's doing a convoluted version.
She's just saying like 20 minus 2 is 8.
Everything up until noon has its own like 711.
That's all right.
That's normal.
Then when you get past noon, you subtract 12.
1,300 hours is 1 o'clock.
14.
Minus 12 is what?
It's 2 o'clock.
Right.
Minus 12 is 2 o'clock. 14 minus 12 is what? It's 2 o'clock. Right, minus 12 is 2 o'clock.
4 minus 2 is 2.
Yeah, but 14 minus 12 is 1,500. 5 minus 2
is 3. That's 3 o'clock. 1,500
is 3 o'clock. 1,600
minus 2 is 4 o'clock. It does fall
apart a little at like 2,100
if you're subtracting 2 from the 1
then you get negative 1. No, the 1, 11
minus 2 is 8.
9.
9.
You're just disregarding the first number.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right.
It all makes sense.
Whereas I'm saying just do the 12,
and that also takes away the first number.
Seems like a lot more numbers to me.
The first time I've noticed we've had a woman on the show.
Yeah.
We're doing the same thing.
Okay.
That was time talk. That was time talk.
That was time talk.
That stuck there for a second.
We really got stuck.
I love that shit.
The mud was just flying up.
By the way, Outback.
So this food is real.
Discover the eighth wonder of the world.
Great Barrier Eats at Outback Steakhouse.
Great Barrier Eats limited time menu at Outback Steakhouse.
Invites you to dive into bold new flavors and explore the
best of land and sea starting at just $16.99. You don't want to miss these new dishes at Outback
Steakhouse including Tasmanian shrimp, lobster pasta, prime rib, shrimp combo, and Tim Tam
brownie cake. Outback Steakhouse even topped the famous Bloomin' Onion with Aussie cheese fries.
Ready to climb in that mountain of Bloomin' cheesiness. They've introduced the Mac
Daddy of steak and meat combos.
The new sirloin plus lobster mac and cheese combo
comes with a six-ounce sirloin lobster mac and cheese
and choice of two sides and starts at just $16.99.
Hell yeah.
Check out the new Grape Barrier Eats menu
at your local Outback Steakhouse
or order for delivery on Outback.com.
I did just realize, Kate, we did just
mansplain something you
lived many years.
So that's partially our fault because you
did live military time.
But I also was late all the time and I'm not good
at math.
So...
You were just 10 hours
off all the time. I'm doing the
minus two.
We have an inside yak conversation real quick.
I'm not going to be able to go back to not having Outback every day.
I know.
It's really become like a Pavlov's dogs thing where one o'clock rolls around,
it's like time for Outback.
Yeah, I'm not going to be able to go back to the old world.
Connor.
That's just steak every day.
The 76ers went there, didn't he, last night?
Did he by himself?
Yeah, he just sent a picture to group chat.
I'm still craving it.
I'm addicted to it.
Yeah.
I'm about to get more ribs, but I feel like it'll annoy everyone.
Connor, Dave is, I think, coming on Thursday for Celtics Sixers.
So, Connor.
Oh, he's coming to town?
Yep.
Oh, he didn't tell you?
Yeah, no.
It's all right.
I'll see him when he's here.
Yeah.
Are you still team Portnoy?
Yeah, of course.
I'm going to be out Thursday and Friday Why?
I'm going to go to Chicago
Dave's going to be here
Is that why you're out?
No, I didn't know it
But I was going to get ahead of it now
I'm going to Chicago to see my house
Yeah, you're scared of Dave
I haven't seen my house yet
Yeah, you haven't seen Dave since the thing
What thing?
Brandon's scared of Dave I am What thing? Brandon scared Dave.
I am.
I'm scared of him.
Fuck him.
How many people do you think are scared of Dave?
One, two, three, four.
Maybe you're not scared.
I like him.
TJ, are you scared of Dave still?
I like him.
No, that's bro.
That's bro?
That's bro?
That's big bro.
The best was back in the day when we were in the old office,
and I think Kevin and I were like, yeah, people are scared of you here, and he came out with a bat, and he pointed, and he was like,
are you scared of me, Smitty, with a bat?
Yeah, there is always that PTSD of, God, it's 10.02,
and I didn't get Dave's coffee on his desk yet.
How often were you doing that before he fully moved?
I did it until he moved.
Do you think you still have trauma from that time period?
So will you have his coffee on Thursday?
I should probably get him one, yeah.
He might be here Wednesday.
I should just leave four out on the desk.
Yeah, just in case.
That's smart.
Yeah, date back in the office.
I like being here, you know?
Yeah, no, it's fun.
Gets it mixed up.
Okay, that was an awkward silence.
Morning, USA.
Your show was never good in London. Okay, that was an awkward silence. Morning, USA.
Your show was never good.
It has bits and pieces that are good.
Sure.
But it never lands the plane, really.
American humor is too in your fucking face.
I like dry, subtle.
Mr. Bean.
No, he's good.
He's good.
Rowan.
Is that his name?
Rowan Atkinson. His daughter is a model, and she is gorgeous. Really's good. Rowan. Is that his name? Rowan Atkinson.
His daughter is a model, and she is gorgeous.
Really?
No shit, yes.
British people are either supermodels or... So if you're good looking and British, you're famous.
That's the only way.
Okay.
Like Elizabeth Hurley.
Yes.
Yeah, she's very good looking good looking yeah big old knockers yeah calm down there too yeah so far that's tommy loves giant titties
and it gets it's like annoying we saw we saw a great ass in london oh yeah yeah we saw literally
the nicest i know it's not
a great story,
but it took our breath away.
The ass was so nice,
I had to call my boy,
Nico, afterwards
and be like,
dude, I saw the best ass.
He was like,
tell me about it.
And then people
will still say
their tit got...
They prefer tits?
I prefer tits.
Me as well,
but this ass could almost...
It could make you
change religions, brother.
Ooh.
It was just you guys
were walking on the street.
It was like me,
Nick, and John Kelly,
we literally all...
It was like we felt like
it took our breath away.
The ass turned me gay because I went, oh.
Oh, it was man ass.
Oh, no.
You were doing that.
My reaction was.
Tits will do that.
Oh, no.
Tits will do that.
Not quite.
Not in the same way.
Oh, that's wrong.
Tits will make you do that.
Tits will turn your head in a heartbeat.
No, tits make you primal.
Kind of like a fun, euphoric way.
Look at the Steve Harvey tits clip.
Steve Harvey tits clip?
Yeah, you don't remember that?
Uh-uh.
The guy started barking at some tits.
Tits can make you turn your head.
Yeah, but like, oh, I love those, but an ass will divert your day.
I'll defend you that it would be weird if they came back and like,
we saw the best pair of tits.
That would be weird if they came back and we saw the best pair of tits. I don't think that would be weird either.
I just feel like good tits are more common than when you see an ass.
I agree.
If this ass was this much bigger, it would have been too big.
That's the best ass.
What set this ass apart?
What made this ass so special?
It was just big.
Well, there's a lot.
You could tell it wasn't shape.
It's the protrusion.
You weren't there, KB.
How do you know?
The ass was fat, but it also fought back, you know?
Oh, God.
Get him, Carly, get him!
Distract him!
An ass won't make it.
There he is!
Oh, jeez.
Is that your wife.
That one feuds the best.
Come on, Darius.
I know.
We wanted to get on it.
That would be awesome.
Steve Harvey just runs America now.
Yeah.
He's America's host.
Yeah.
Are you going to watch Jeopardy Masters tonight?
Oh, is that tonight? Wasn't going to gonna aren't you a big jeopardy guy yeah i i go through phases jeopardy master that's like
the greatest it's the all the best champions oh yeah just do that jennings hosting and it's
jeopardy james right amy yeah matt modio probably yeah you going to watch? Oh yeah I'm definitely going to watch You're not a quiz guy?
I'm a big trivia guy but I'm a big Jeopardy guy
But I just don't really care about the Masters
Oh interesting
Man card
Seriously
Big time
I mean if you're a trivia guy you've got to be a trivia guy
Okay I'll watch Jeopardy Masters then it's fine
It's not a big deal
Get ready maybe it's a dozen questions I'm've got to be a trivia guy. Okay, I'll watch Jeopardy Masters then. It's fine. It's not a big deal. Great. I'll watch Jeopardy Masters.
Get ready.
Maybe it's a dozen questions.
I'm not going to be here Wednesday through Friday.
Now it's Wednesday?
It's Wednesday.
Well, you said Dave's coming Wednesday, though.
So maybe Wednesday?
He might be here Tuesday.
I'm probably out tomorrow.
Next week.
Is it this week?
Oh, this week.
Yeah, so I'm probably not going to be here tomorrow.
What's your favorite cough drop?
Probably Strawberry Halls.
I like Pink Halls.
Still make Luden's Cherry because I like Luden's.
Luden's Cherry is pretty good, yeah.
That's a good call.
I might have to go get some after this.
Some Ricolas?
A non-sick cough drop is actually a treat.
Might be a cool guy move.
Yeah.
I remember in church I would always pretend I had a sore throat because that was the only
candy I could get from my mom.
Oh, like gum or cough drops at a wedding or a funeral just hits different.
Fairmont State women's basketball coach always had a cherry cough drop in.
Really?
I thought that was common knowledge.
Oh, shit.
I missed that.
That was a big cough drop in elementary school.
Yeah, you were.
You guys ever take...
Did you...
Absolutely.
I might have made this up,
but you brought a suitcase to school, right?
You had the wheeled backpack.
Oh, yeah, I had a wheeled backpack
with my initials on it from LLB.
Right, because you didn't want to hurt your back?
No, it was kind of in at the time.
You had a wheeled backpack?
A wheelie suit.
Yeah, it was never in.
So wait, I was right.
I'm right.
I guess.
You came to school with luggage.
But everybody was doing it.
And I had TMS, LLB.
There was not a year when everyone was doing it.
It was very popular.
Fine, everybody.
Everybody, everybody, or just five guys?
Just the cool five guys.
A few of my really cool friends yeah i do remember i distinctly remember like
this was probably when i was in college but there was like stories like kids are getting scoliosis
because the bags are so yeah that probably was a part of it i i was a very big bag like my backpack
was huge it was like no doubt even worse no doubt it was you wore a suit every day oh that's not me
were you a hallway speed walker?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was always afraid of getting booked.
Were you an RA in college?
No.
That's shocking.
You were afraid of what?
Getting booked?
Oh, I know that.
When you'd walk around with your binder and your friends would just...
Get up with a textbook?
No, it would be more binder, like more middle school, high school.
You'd have a binder and people would slap it out of your hands and fall on the floor and all the papers would fly you would walk very quickly to
class to avoid that yes but it was only like i remember because my high school was 7th through
12th grade so i remember everybody was like oh the seniors are gonna bully you it's just like
your friends that were the same age as i once was walking down the hall and i got in the middle of
two uh two black girls fighting and i i was trying to get to my class and one of them kicked me right in the forehead what'd you say
she kills like your forehead it's like you're leaving out part of the story brandon me in the
forehead they were dragging her away and as as such they were dragging her down so her feet came
up and she kicked me right in the fucking forehead okay it's a high kick yeah kizzy williams that is
a funny thing though to knock someone's, like,
have you ever done that to any of your friends?
I've done it a few times.
I'm not ashamed to admit it, but, like, coffee or ice cream.
Yeah.
Walking out of the store.
You buy another one.
You know you have to go buy another one, but that moment is very funny.
That's like at the bar when you tap their beer and make it explode on them a little bit.
I used to do that, like, 24-7. That's just good old, like, hooligan activity. That's not my type of, I tap their beer and make it explode on them a little bit. I used to do that 24-7.
That's just good old hooligan activity.
That's not my type of...
Oh, you don't like that?
No, no, no.
You don't like rough housing.
Yeah, I was the least...
You two on a trip together would be horrible.
Would you be wrestling me?
Probably, yeah.
I'm not a rough house.
I'm not a rough house.
My friends would wrestle.
I'd make up excuses where I could watch on the sideline.
I had a couple girlfriends.
You're like, I'll be the nurse.
I'll be the ref. I'll be the sideline. I had a couple girlfriends. You're like, I'll be the nurse. I'll be the ref.
I've had a couple
girlfriends. I remember this one girl
always trying to roughhouse
and wrestle or whatever. That's Kyle.
There's people way worse than me.
But it's weird. Some people really
and I would always just be like, no, thank you.
How do you live with Spider?
Spider is like, oh yeah, I know.
He's always throwing balls at everyone.
He hits my knee,
he hits my knee with his phone a lot.
I remember people loved wrestling me.
I would go over to a friend's house,
we would go to the basement,
and we would wrestle for two hours straight,
and they would never come close,
they didn't know how to wrestle,
so it was just me beating the fuck out of them
for two hours,
and they loved it.
Every once in a while,
we were quarantined.
When we were staying at your aunt's, I would try
to pounce. Yeah, it's like
something about people. I've done that to Kyle. You just kind of
go at him and then he immediately gets in a position
and you're like, I'm just joking.
Sorry. Yeah.
If I had a wrestling background, I would try
to wrestle as much as possible. Who do you wrestle
out here? YP? I have
a pretty shitty record in the office.
Really?
One and one with a decision who made the decision be jet ski by decision oh no wallow or gilly got you right
oh yeah i would fuck both of my losses up right now yeah yeah? Yeah, Will and I thought you beat Will.
No, he took me down.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
That was a really fast
attack on your part. It was.
Is Danny there? Yeah.
You could get Danny.
He's already looking.
He already knows. He's good.
That's how good he is.
Oh, come on! Come on, Danny. He already knows. He's good. That's how good he is. Oh, come on!
Come on.
Come on, Danny. He's aware.
Who else is in the lobby?
Get Danny out.
Maybe.
Ebony's not here.
It's not Ebony.
Go around the far way
and then I'll get...
Sneak up from behind him and I'll get him to come out of his desk.
I can't.
Then you get him.
Yeah, I can't.
See, Mark Zuckerberg just won his first jiu-jitsu match over the weekend.
I'm sure the other guy was trying really hard.
I just watched The Social Network for the first time.
Really?
Watched Air, Tetris, and The Social Network.
Oh, was Tetris good?
Joey.
I made a mistake and watched Air first, which I loved.
I thought it was phenomenalris good? Joey. I made a mistake and watched Air first, which I loved. I thought it was phenomenal.
It was good.
Tetris was good, but it kind of, it was too, they did a lot of over-dramatization.
I don't mean to be that guy.
What is Tetris?
It's a movie about the creation of Tetris.
They went a little bit too crazy with the goofs and the fictionalized version.
You should do it for your little podcast.
Well, it's not a little podcast.
It's one of the biggest podcasts that
Chris Clem has ever launched.
You gotta say fastest growing.
Because it is. It went from zero
to 15.
20.
The social network makes Mark Zuckerberg
look horrible.
I think you can get Max.
He's got food in his hand too. Knock it out of his hand.
Max!
Max's butt is out again.
It's always out.
He's down on his feet.
Max dropped his food.
Max kind of held his own.
Way to go, Max.
I held his own.
I don't know.
Max, come in here.
Come in here.
You did pretty good there.
He was ready.
You did pretty good there.
I mean, I didn't know what I was doing.
Yeah, but you held your own.
You didn't let him pin you.
Am I the first person that you've done that to today?
Yeah, we were just...
They're making me.
Yeah, we're making him just...
A lot of breath.
A lot of people, yeah.
You held your own.
You did good.
Proud of you.
I didn't go to the ground.
You didn't go to the ground.
You didn't go to the ground, all right.
And your food didn't get ruined.
Yeah.
That shows that Max
is like a down for anything guy
just drop his food and be like alright we're wrestling
fuck
he doesn't even
sit or be like what the fuck
went right into it
he's like oh fuck alright I guess it's wrestle time
yeah wrestle time
I need more of that
I do too
let's get Danny
what guys are in the office I need more of that. I do too. Let's get Danny.
He's definitely on the alert.
What guys are in the office?
He's always like, Paul, please don't fuck me up.
You get Joey.
Go down and get Pete.
Just need Rodney. We got a Mean Street Posse.
Pete would sue.
Pete Gass.
Pete Gass. Joey Abbs. Joey, wait. Who won a championship? Heat gas. Heat gas.
Yeah.
Joey Abs.
Joey, wait.
He won a championship.
Heat gas might have come into the old office.
I think he's a CW salesman.
No way.
I would love to cut it up with him.
I don't know which one.
One of them's dead?
I think one of them's dead.
Shit.
Most wrestlers are dead.
Yeah.
Most people are dead. Yeah. That's true. The majority of people's dead? I think one of them's dead. Shit. Most wrestlers are dead. Yeah. Most people are dead.
Yeah, that's true.
The majority of people are dead.
By a large margin.
That's true.
It's good perspective.
Not good odds for us.
We're here, though.
Yeah.
Every day.
So far, so good.
What was your favorite Main Street Posse match?
That's when they won the championship.
Which one?
They only won one.
Which one?
Which championship?
The wrestling championship.
Don't do this.
You know exactly that I know, and you're going to be pissed off.
Every time I do this, you get pissed off for the rest of the day,
so I'll let you have this one.
I'm fine.
Which one?
Aslan's back, huh?
Well, I'm doing these live shows now just to try to force Barstool into giving it back
because they never should have taken it away from me, the stupid motherfuckers.
Do the next ad?
I can't.
Oh.
Oh.
Pass.
Tommy, why don't you do the next ad?
Sure.
High Noon.
Yeah.
Delicious.
Look, if you're a tequila lover who was never satisfied with malt heart seltzer offerings,
you're going to love the new High Noon tequila seltzer.
It is premium heart seltzer made with real tequila and real juice.
It's a clean finish because it's made with real Blanco tequila.
It's only 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar.
Got a bunch of different flavors that are now available
nationwide. Four bright, crisp, very summery, very spring flavors. Strawberry, which is just
delicious. The strawberry tequila high noon is maybe my new favorite drink in the world. It
really is just that good. Lime, grapefruit, and passion fruit as well. Also tasty. Great in the
outdoors. We got 70s coming up all week. If you want to go drink out on the patio or if you have an outdoor area of some sort,
especially around the pool, the lake, the beach, golf, and tailgating,
and even at the bar.
I've been looking for a new bar drink because it's like, you know,
I want to be able to get a drink that I actually love.
Oh, he's scrappy, I bet.
I know he's going to be scrappy.
I'm still out of breath.
I'm no lie.
Go, go, go.
Anyway, High Noon Tequila Seltzer.
Look for them on Drizzly and at your local convenience or liquor store.
Or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you.
Oh, my God.
He's not even fighting back.
I'm fighting back.
It's time to wrestle.
Shit.
It's wrestling time.
Damn.
You're wearing a wrestling shirt.
I thought you were going to go right to it.
You want to wrestle?
I do see it. What did you do there? You tell Danny to come in. I thought you were going to go right to it. You want to wrestle? I do see it.
What did you do there?
You tell Danny to come in?
Yeah.
No.
Why not?
Just make him flinch.
Make him flinch.
He's trying to bulk up.
Nick went with the dead fish method.
He did.
It worked.
He had a laptop in his hands.
What's he saying?
Oh, here it comes.
Someone else should.
Tommy, you do it.
Tommy?
You got to get over your fear.
Oh, he's swaggering.
Yeah, he is.
He's sauntering.
Prepared.
They want me to fuck you up.
I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going to do it, Danny.
We're teammates.
We're both on the same.
He's doing push-ups in the kitchen.
Listen.
What?
You should think.
On the counter. KB? When were you doing that? My arms're both on the same. He's doing push-ups in the kitchen on the counter. Listen. What? You should think. On the counter?
On the counter, yeah.
When were you doing that?
So my arms look bigger before the show.
All right.
Well, thank your lucky stars, Danny.
Someday it's coming for you.
Danny, could he fuck you up?
Could he fuck you up, Danny?
Could he fuck me up?
Yeah.
Damn.
Are we doing just like boxing or wrestling?
Either.
What do you think? I don't know. You could probably sway. I don't know. Wrestling do you think?
I don't know.
You could probably sway.
I don't know.
That's the one I think he's got.
Okay.
I think.
Well, someday it's coming for you.
All right.
You would have fucked him up so bad.
I wouldn't have felt good about it.
Nick's reaction there makes Max's reaction that much funnier.
Yeah, Max. Yeah. Whatever that was was a horrible feeling.
What?
You just grab a dead fish?
Yeah.
Like, you finally work up that adrenaline to attack someone violently,
and they do nothing?
You got to have that validation that this is now a fight.
This is now two wills.
Right. Too mantangling. Body craves contact. You got to have that validation that this is now a fight. This is now two wills.
Too entangling.
Body craves contact.
It's a fact, Jim Harbaugh.
Mm-hmm.
Just get calluses.
Jim Harbaugh, that quote went viral last week maybe where he just –
he said it many times before, but he's like, yeah,
it's like when I was five years old I realized I wanted to play football for as long as I could, then coach football for as
long as I could, then die.
That's it.
College football coaches are the weirdest dudes.
Ever.
Yeah.
And you think like, oh, in sports, they're probably cool, able to socialize.
They're weirdos.
Oh, yeah.
Like, we should be happy that Dabo Sweeney found football because he would have been
a serial killer.
Well, he would have been a mega church pastor.
Yeah, he is. Yeah. He is.
Yeah, he really is.
Yeah, they're the same as megachurch pastors.
Joel Osteen could coach South Carolina.
Yeah.
At least one bowl game.
Yeah.
Seven and six.
Yeah, he'd have to get some X's and O's, guys, below him,
but he can handle everything else.
Yeah, that's a fact.
All right. have to get some X's and O's guys below him, but he can handle everything else. It's a fact. Alright.
I just want to see KB take some more down.
Playboy.
I got blood in my mouth now.
What if we can get Billy in here?
Oh, Billy. Billy's a good one.
I don't want Cooper.
It's all a PMT. You and Colin have
killed Meek Phil. Oh, that would have sparred. Kill Meek Phil.
That would be funny if you killed Meek Phil.
I would love to just pummel him.
Like Scott Farkas.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Franky might be getting tatted.
Yeah, what the hell?
Yeah.
We're in the next up too.
Frank.
Frank. Frank. Oh, Yeah. We're in the Knicks, huh? Can we get him in? Frank. Frank.
Frank.
Mid-chew.
Oh, no.
We stopped his walk.
You got some.
What's we interrupt?
You got some.
Huh?
Where are you going?
I was reffing Robbie.
Oh, okay.
Okay, see ya.
All right.
Going right now?
Reffing Robbie.
Oh, wow.
Preview show.
What's the tattoo bet?
If the Mets win over 90 games, Clemmer has to get a tattoo.
If the Mets lose over 90 games, Frank has to get a tattoo.
If the Mets lose over 90 games, Clemmer has to get a tattoo.
So Frank just got in.
It's going to be neither of those things.
Probably going to be neither of those things.
Why?
Wait, what?
Because if they win between 72 and 90 games, nobody does it.
There's a big gap there that neither one of those things is going to happen.
How about the Yankees?
They suck.
Best place.
What's going on?
I'm almost to a point of rooting against them.
But you gave up on them in April.
No, I haven't officially given up or canceled i
thought on twitter you said i i i am out i i give up no i don't think i said that i just said they're
like not worth they're just not worth your time anymore until they make changes i don't think so
i think brian cashman has set this franchise back too far but we we're doing Barstool at the Ballpark on Friday. Oh, nice.
12th, come on out.
Great deal.
Jim Beam's suite.
Food and drinks until the fifth inning.
Buy Rough and Rowdy.
Buy Rough and Rowdy.
Watch it on your phone at the Yankee game.
Yeah, you should buy it on your phone.
I will. Did you see this rapper on instagram used a video of frank sadly walking to promote
his song no i don't think anyone involved with him knows who he is either it's 10k duncan That was
Alright
You're very into the hip hop culture now
No
You're one with it
No
How's DJing going?
Horribly
Why?
Some misses
It's a lot of misses
So you said you had a new song out
You lied to me.
Yeah, that wasn't mine.
Sent a link to a song that's over a year old.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
How did you think you were going to get away with that?
I thought it was his recent post.
So you've given up on DJing?
Oh, got him.
I wanted to pummel you like Scott Farkas.
Actually, now I don't.
This is intimidating.
Whatever strategy that is, I don't like.
You don't want to smoke, just let me know.
Now I don't.
Now I don't.
That's the whitest person that's ever said,
you want to smoke?
He's not meek Phil anymore.
I body language.
Phil.
So I don't think as a rule you shouldn't fuck with any guy who's wearing shorts and black socks.
Yeah.
Oh no.
That guy has given up on life.
They have nothing to lose.
They've literally decided this is going to be the worst look possible.
Nothing you could do to them physically will make them look worse.
Right?
You see the way he flared his knees?
I couldn't fight it
It's a tough look
You would have been the Scott Farkas in that situation
It was a good stand down Kyle
Live to fight another day
Kenny Loggins would have been proud
It would have been funny if you really hurt him
Even after all that
But I don't want somebody coming in knowing it's coming
I want him to jump on somebody.
I want him to surprise him like he did to Max.
He'd be able to tackle those guys in the ring.
What if I just tackled that tall guy from behind?
Because the tall guy looks like he should be ready to be randomly attacked.
I feel like he'd almost appreciate the challenge.
Just had it up.
Sure, he'd be weirded out.
TJ, I got a question for you yep who's the new producer you guys hired for the mark titus show his name's cody yeah so he ended up on my for you yep we gotta fix something with cody
yep he dropped wait was he doing man on the street no No, I didn't see that. He dropped, this one tweet was on my For You.
It was the saddest tweet I've ever seen.
Oh, no.
He had a picture for Kentucky Derby.
He was like, drop your Kentucky Derby fits.
And there were zero responses.
Oh, no.
Can't do that.
Yeah, you can't do that.
He brought me out so hard.
I'm glad that happened and then you brought it up.
Yeah, because I remember seeing it and I was like,
it immediately kind of ruined my 10-minute time frame.
People try to do that when you've got to know.
You've got to know.
You have to have at least one person responding.
Or like caption this.
Let's get some replies.
Yeah, let's reply.
Let's do 100 replies.
He tweets a lot.
That one, I have no problem with tweeting a lot.
That one specifically was on my For You, and I got so sad seeing, I think when I saw it, it was like nine likes and zero replies, and it was a day old.
What's his Twitter name?
He's probably fine with it until now.
Yeah, well, I mean, it's better that we say it out in the open because you can't keep doing that no all right i'm gonna follow him
so now i can i can help him out but any if he ever does a drop your fits people gotta help him out
yeah what's his app cody cody official, with a K.
Very nice outfit.
Okay, all right.
This can't be him.
Is this a different guy?
Now he's getting a lot of... It's the TDL Music Group.
Yeah, that's what I'm looking at.
Manchester.
The producer.
All right.
Cody, the official is a zero.
Everyone drop your fits under Cody's,
because he'll just be like, what the fuck's going on?
Oh, and Cody is a zero in his?
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't even see the almost post time.
Oh, no.
Tom is the post time.
He's nine likes on that one.
He's trying.
We're going to get these fits up, though.
Oh, yeah, people.
Oh, yeah, look.
Yeah.
Everyone give him some fits.
If you go to the Mark Titus show.
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Now he's, oh, there you go.
That's a great fit.
Yeah, that's one of my favorite fits.
This is similar to like when they're like, oh, this kid fighting cancer in the hospital.
It's his birthday coming up, can everyone write a card?
Yeah. And he gets like 7,000
cards. Thousands.
Boring cards with no gifts, no toys.
Yeah, I feel good about this.
This will feel good if he just gets a shitload of
fits.
Oh, nice.
Cody to Cody.
I'll do a top hat picture. Feels very Kentucky Derby. Yeah, nice. Cody to Cody. I'll do a top hat picture.
Feels very Kentucky Derby.
Yeah, nice.
Yeah, I have no problem with, you know, tweeting, trying to be out there,
but that one bummed me out when I saw it.
And it's the 4U.
Like, I wasn't even following him, and I saw it, and it was like 24 hours old.
Yeah, an extra dose of people were seeing that.
Zero replies. I was like, oh old. Yeah, an extra dose of people were seeing that. Zero replies.
I was like, oh, no, dude.
He had a nice fit, too.
It was a nice fit.
His Kentucky Derby fit was going hard.
No one else had their fit for him.
Fuck.
What'd I miss while I was gone?
Nothing.
Literally nothing happened at Barstool. What gone? Nothing. Literally nothing.
What happened at Barstool?
What happened?
Not a goddamn thing.
Frank?
Okay.
I want to see what he's going to get tattooed.
I think he's just done with us.
Yeah.
He's walking faster than I've ever seen him walk.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
Could just be the water.
Could just be getting the water.
It's not a good sign for the wheel, I'll tell you that much.
I do miss Mincy.
Say that.
Has anyone talked to him recently?
I do, yeah.
I talked to him on Thursday.
Well, he had the whole world waiting with bated breath for his next move.
Yeah.
And he did nothing, which
is so mincy.
I love him.
So he texted me like
1130 on Thursday night
and it was like J-Rad is
the best dead cover band.
And I was like, what?
And he's like, well, I'm
there right now.
Oh, OK, cool.
He feels like a sense of
freedom.
Like he he always had
a day changes whatsoever
yeah yeah he doesn't work here anymore but he hasn't changed anything oh oh i am i'm gonna i'm
gonna put him in the i'm still gonna back him for the world series of poker so yeah and when is that
uh sometime july so i'm sure we can work him back into some storylines then apparently he was
asking like nate and Smitty this week
if they wanted to come do poker content with him somewhere,
and they were like, I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
He was like, it'll be great content.
I don't think he's fired, but he's not.
He's just not getting paid.
Is he still at Barstool Mincey?
He is.
I hope he never changes.
If that changes.
I think if he just does that long enough, he'll just start getting paid again.
Yeah.
Leave back in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He could just, I mean, it's not like he was coming into the office.
He could still just keep putting stuff out.
Right.
Yeah.
He could still do Wake Up Mincy.
Well.
Nah.
He owns the IP.
He can't go to the kitchen anymore.
Oh, that's true.
They kicked him out.
They kicked him out of the kitchen.
Where would he find a kitchen?
I don't know. It's hard to find a kitchen. Especially one that's true. They kicked him out. Where would he find a kitchen? I don't know.
It's hard to find a kitchen.
Especially one that's open so early.
Yeah.
It had a quick commute, too.
Yeah.
Find a kitchen that has a quicker commute.
He couldn't drive to one closer.
I think he should strike while the iron's hot with these job offers, though.
Well, that's what I was saying.
But that's not Mincy.
That's the beautiful brain of Mincy.
Right.
Like, in three months, he's going to be like, oh, I guess I need a job.
And, like, start replying to emails.
He did say he was going to drop a long video thanking everybody tomorrow.
But he said that five days ago.
Yeah, right.
That is the genius of Mincy.
His lawyers might have advised against ago. Yeah, right. That is the genius of Mincy. His lawyers might have advised against it.
Yeah, right.
It is sad.
Yeah.
So that's what you missed.
That's about it.
I don't know what else.
What was the vibe on Thursday in the office?
I wasn't here.
I was in Miami.
Probably not good.
Well, it was immediately assuaged
by the fact that we heard he got his seven job
offers right away. And a call
from the Oxford mayor.
He was doing better. He was not phased in the
slightest. So that kind of
made it better.
Yeah.
There's nothing that can
bring Mincy down.
He's unflappable.
He really is.
He just bounces back harder.
Yeah, multiple people said, they talked to him,
and he was like, I'm doing pretty good.
So it was kind of like.
Yeah, I don't know if there's any other.
I don't think Mincy has any other, like, mode.
I'm doing pretty good.
That's a lot, yeah.
I think he loves himself, which is in a good way
right
if you love yourself
you're
yeah like
isn't that like a
big part of like
therapy
like you gotta learn
how to love yourself
for others
that's the hard part
that he's already done
it is crazy
just the timing
of like
it was maybe
the most mincey week
ever
the yak 10k
12
yeah
wedding
a funeral
the not doing the live show like getting
made fun like hot you're hot yeah i mean there was i tweeted the clip but like i literally said
on wake up mincy the fourth episode out of five um i was like i'll buy all the mincy stock
and i was like is this a bad idea to buy it when it's so high? And he's like, no, I'm still going up.
Yeah.
Does Wake Up Missy now become a cult classic?
I don't know.
Those five.
It's the freaks and geeks of Barstow.
We can release those on DVD in like two years.
Some behind the scenes and stuff.
Yeah.
There's going to be a college class teaching it.
Yeah.
Nuances and the meanings.
Lost tapes.
It was the last episode.
Oh, well.
Yeah, well, yeah.
We'll talk to Harmony.
Yeah, I forgot.
He should do one last episode
where he's just doing the remake
of the Crossroads video.
People just walking up and hitting him
in his forehead while he dies.
If he had any coot.
All-time music video.
Yeah.
How many replies does he have now, TJ?
64.
64.
Hell yes.
Much better.
Way to go. All those fits. Hell yes. Much better. Way to go.
All those fits.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
Whoa.
Steven loves that picture.
He should love that picture.
He always talks about it.
He's like, that's the best I've ever looked.
And just completely forgets the part that he has two huge snakes on him.
Yeah, Steve, you're covered in snake.
He's like, but look how good I look.
Why is he covered in snakes?
That's a badass picture. He should like
that picture. I think it's
snakes are weird.
Oh, yeah. Oh, no.
There he is.
He's in the frozen
untouched glaciers of Alaska.
Underneath of a stingray.
If you
were stranded in the Australian bush
or something of the like, and you only had a bottle of wine, would you A, drink it at all, or B, at what day of strandedness?
Oh.
I don't.
I think I would drink small portions at a time.
Would it hydrate you or dehydrate you?
I think you would do it all at once.
This happened to a woman.
All she had was a bottle of wine, and she did drink it.
In an opener?
She was stranded for five days and survived on a bottle of wine.
But I don't know if she would have survived better without it.
Question.
What if you start drinking the wine, and then every time you have to pee,
you pee in the wine bottle?
Is that giving you more hydration then?
More liquid?
You can drink your pee?
Mix with wine.
In the cycle of wine to pee?
Yeah, because maybe you pull out the alcohol and your piss doesn't have alcohol in it.
But if you were desperate, would you pee in the wine bottle and drink with that? Oh, yeah.
I don't think I could drink my pee.
Would the wine give you any hydration or the opposite effect?
I think it would give you some.
I think any liquid, right?
I think the immediacy of the hydration, you would feel it, but then the wine goes to work.
It would get worse.
It sucks it out of you.
I would pour out the wine and use that bottle to try to capture water.
Where would you capture water?
The rain?
Water puddles?
Puddles. Water puddles.
You forgot about that? I don't know how you... When you said bush, is that...
That's the outback, right? The desert, basically.
Yeah. So they got ribs and everything?
No, I think this was the bush,
whatever that is. Is that like a desert?
What's Crocodile Dundee?
Bush is the wild of Alaska.
Oh, yeah, maybe it was the wild of Alaska. Oh, okay.
So, yeah, maybe it was the desert.
It's a desert.
It's a singing swamp.
But she was in her car.
They got both.
She was in her car?
Yeah, her car got stuck on a back road.
And she just stayed in the car?
She's a non-drinker, but she did drink the wine.
Why did she have wine?
It was a gift for a friend.
Where was she going?
To a party, maybe.
How far away was she from everybody?
I don't know.
A kangaroo's birthday party?
It feels like she got stranded for no reason.
It's like she just decided to stay there.
Yeah, she's on a road.
She was a half mile away from them.
Yeah, she's a half hour walk from civilization.
I followed this guy who decided to bicycle across whatever,
and he would go like a week without seeing a car go by on the road he was on.
You said whatever.
Australia.
From one end to the other which Australia is like way bigger than I think
people realize. It is a lot bigger than I
think. Well people are only in
one little sliver. Yeah.
Did you do a Texas over Australia?
I don't think it's all that big. I mean it's big
but it's not. How big do you think it is?
It's like four Texases or bigger. You totally botched New Jersey.
I would say two Texas.
You totally botched it.
Oh, I bet it's bigger than that.
Oh, my God.
I think it's like ten Texas.
Oh, not ten Texas.
Ten Texas?
Ten Texas?
I would guess.
Yes.
Yeah, I think six.
Six Texas?
Oh, shit.
It is at least five Texas.
It's huge.
Wow, that's way bigger than I thought.
That might...
I mean, it's a whole ass continent.
If you start putting it in a puzzle piece, that might be ten.
And I think the top left is totally abandoned.
Damn.
I watched this documentary.
The whole center is abandoned, right?
Yeah.
I watched this documentary about this mining town.
Oh.
Oh.
No.
No way.
California, Alaska, and Texas?
What's a very crudely drawn Alaska?
What's a coast-to-coast miles?
Because the U.S. is what?
3,000?
3,000.
Let me show some footage.
Okay.
25.
Almost.
Oh, only another thousand. Probably like New York to like footage. Okay. 25. Almost. Only another thousand.
Probably like New York to like Denver.
Yeah.
Or Vegas.
So what is it?
Are they the fifth biggest country?
Wait, it's the same size as the...
Oh, damn.
So it is like...
Not including Alaska, yeah.
It's like Philadelphia to San Francisco.
Yeah.
Damn.
But everybody lives in like Florida, essentially.
Yeah, Sydney.
Perth is on the other side.
Well, there's Melbourne.
There is Melbourne.
That's on Sydney's side, I think.
Oh.
I don't know.
Then there's one town
that's like way up
on the north tip
where nothing else is,
which is a fascinating town.
What town is it called?
It starts with an A.
Adelaide? Adelaide? Can we see it? Yeah, it's... Can? It starts with an A. Adelaide?
Adelaide?
Can we see it?
Yeah, it's...
Can we see a picture of it?
Adelaide?
Is it on the north?
Yeah, it's on the north coast.
There's nothing else that's up there.
If you want to go viral, put Texas,
but make it way smaller than it is
in comparison to Luxembourg.
Put it inside of Luxembourg,
and they'll get pissed every time.
Put four Texas inside of Rhode Island?
They would fall for that.
That tip up to the right?
Maybe I just made it up.
Maybe it's that.
Angloa?
Angloa?
Maga?
Okay.
There's like all these mining towns in the middle that are like each like 500 miles apart and it's all dudes.
And I watched this documentary about a bar's quest to keep just two lady bartenders at their bar.
And they had to keep bringing in foreign ladies from not Australia because Australian ladies were like,
no, there's no fucking way we're going to this bar.
And it was just these drunk Australian guys hitting on these foreign...
That sounds fun.
I highly recommend it.
It's great.
But the tips...
Maybe Blatman will send me there for 13 hours.
Check it out.
If you ever want to feel like a 10 ladies,
go to the mining towns of Australia.
That's all you have to do.
You have to feel pretty.
Pretty easy.
Yeah.
I would consider it.
Tommy was the hottest guy in London by a lot.
I heard.
Yeah, it's true.
People were taking pictures of us.
They're just like, he's the hottest guys I've ever seen.
Tommy, I got a question for you because I was saying it when I saw a picture of you on Friday.
You have the ability to transform from awkward nerd to hot guy now guy i disagree with that what what picture were
you talking about which part do you disagree the hot hot guy part oh i think you could i think
you're a hot guy sometimes you know the pick the pick from career at the bar you were hot guy
with that well that was i was uh yeah i was uh my alter ego i was like you were a hot guy
your alter ego is hot like zuckerberg doesn't have angles like that.
Right, Zuckerberg can't go from like, he's nerd.
But I do get a lot of Zuckerberg comparisons.
Right, you have nerd.
I made a jiu-jitsu video.
I even wrote a blog about it.
Really?
He looked hot?
Can we see it?
There was a little something about him.
I mean, this is like, Tommy, most nerds don't have the ability to transform.
You've gained that.
Clark Kent and Superman.
Like Rachel Lee Cook.
You just put, like, oh.
Whoa.
You should see the video.
Oh, no, I think that's the mouth guard.
Yeah, that helps.
Mouth guard makes him look better.
I had no idea the social network made him look so bad.
Yeah.
He didn't look repulsively bad.
Oh, it was true.
I'll rank what's
happening here. I don't know Jujutsu
at all. He made himself look bad.
Wait until they're on the ground.
Then he gets very hot.
Do you know the twins? That's CGI?
Isn't that?
Really? In Social Network?
I don't know about CGI, but it's just one of them
just one yeah maybe not ladies anybody else now he eats people like what oh that was harvey hammer
yeah oh yeah oh shit yeah never connected yeah what's he doing now did he go to jail selling
real estate in like the bahamas yeah there's a picture of him at a call center.
Zuckerberg's getting his ass kicked right now. This is gayer than wrestling.
He's also headlocked.
Not yet. Hold on.
Maybe it's about how rich he is.
Now, would you...
If you were matched up against Zuckerberg,
would you try to beat him
being like, maybe he'll respect you?
Or would you let him win
and then hope that he gives you money?
I feel like it's embarrassing to let him win.
You gotta fuck him up.
I feel like that's embarrassing.
I feel like he'll have you killed if you beat him.
Look at him. Look at those legs.
You think Zuckerberg's had somebody
kill before? Yes.
Yes.
Absolutely. Which also makes
him kind of hot.
Yeah. These guys in the lobby are staring
at him. He does have an ass.
What are they staring at?
I don't know. They're not staring
at us at all. They were.
Not even in
even a little bit.
Every time I look, he's staring.
Frank's talking to him.
Boys?
It just walked right through him.
Art at them.
What could they possibly be looking at?
Just broke him up.
Yeah.
Frank?
What'd he get?
Wendy's?
It's Wendy's.
Frank does not want to talk to Jack Mack right now.
He's like, all right, dude.
Yeah.
Got Wendy's to eat.
He seems to be in good spirits, though.
He does.
The Knicks hat is weird.
It looks good on him.
It looks like a Mets hat.
Is he going today?
No.
Oh, by the way, should we do the Jenks report this week?
We have it.
He's ready.
And I was thinking about it.
So obviously, Roan's not here, but Roan never went on a date.
Yeah.
Hell, we could do it now.
Yeah.
So what do we want to do Thursday?
Brandon's out.
I won't be here Thursday.
Wednesday?
So Wednesday?
Wednesday works.
Jenks report Wednesday?
Yeah.
He's listening to this right now.
So Jenks, get ready Wednesday.
We want the whole report.
Well, obviously, Frank's going to get the most glowing.
Him and Frank are just boys now.
Oh, yeah. Frank invited him to a Devils game.
Well, there's reciprocity.
Yeah, you're right.
That's actually what a decent human being probably should do.
And he did it.
I haven't invited him to shit.
Now I feel like an ass.
Have you spoken to him since?
Oh, yeah.
See, Nick and I made the right play where we took him,
so we don't owe him anything.
I hate Owen.
People. Love Rotor. where we took him so we don't owe him anything. I hate owing people.
I love Rotor.
Owing people something is the worst.
Yeah, but I love it when people owe me
because I never let them pay me back.
Don't worry about it.
I owe you one.
What, I chose to bring you to London on last minute?
Yeah.
Don't worry. I'm happy I did it.
No big deal.
Just remember that. Don't worry. Yeah. Happy I did it. No big deal. Just remember that.
Yeah, no, thanks.
Thank you for not having a passport either.
I was a felon.
Yeah.
I just think you're...
Yeah, you might be.
Like Elvis's agent.
Yeah.
Just see how long you can go without having to go abroad.
Colonel.
That's pretty much what I'm doing.
Game time.
Exclusive ticketing partner, Barstool Sports, created by fans for fans.
Game time ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price.
Nate was at Blink 182 in Chicago this weekend.
Hank and Max went to the Heat-Knicks game down in Miami.
All via GameTime.
It's possible with the GameTime app.
Biggest last-minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought
you could never buy.
The purchase process takes just two taps and 10 seconds.
And once you buy your tickets, they're delivered directly to your phone,
no printer needed.
The app also allows you to easily share tickets with friends via text
so you can get into the game seamlessly, skip the enjoy the moment download the game time app or go to the
website enter your email and redeem code yak for 20 off your first purchase terms apply download
game time right now use code yak 20 on first purchase tons of tickets concert season's coming
up summer concert season nothing better go see the yankees go to the yankees game
on friday yeah is rizzo doing well though he is yeah he's a little lone one of the lone bright
i don't want you to ruin him now he's he's been fine he's good hitting for a high average
he's the cat he's the true captain well now, no, I mean, it's still Iron Judge's team.
So, do the Sixers have a chance?
He said one of the lone bright spots, but you can't be one of the lone bright spots.
There can only be one lone bright spot.
That's on me.
That was fucking stupid.
It's okay.
Tell us all the lone bright spots.
Garrett Cole has been a lone bright spot.
Honestly, that might be it.
Judge, before you got to hamiltonian hamilton
ron marinaccio so there's four alone definitely made that last name up on marinaccio oh yeah
he's born to be yeah new jersey guy grew up a yankee fan i love it he's great yeah what did
you say kb the sixers do they have so they can win it? No chance. Does it hinge on
the Celtics playing badly, or
can they just beat them? A little bit.
I would say the Celtics are better,
but the Celtics also
have a coach that is
unproven and maybe not the best,
so it does feel like they blow
games late.
But yeah, 2-2.
Describe their offense as random.
It's so random.
It's like that though.
That's how he said it. Random.
If you watch any Celtics this year,
you know that every game is a close game with them.
It's a coin toss. I want it to go
7-7 so bad. Just to see Hank
because there's nothing
that gives me more joy than having no dog
in the fight and just watching them.
And then, like, depending on who wins,
we just bully the other guy.
It's like we bullied Max on Thursday
and then we bullied Hank on today's show.
That team just goes on to lose to the Nuggets.
Yeah.
Or the Heat.
Oh, yeah.
In the PMT universe, it would be very funny
because people think Max and Hank,
it's like they're putting it off for a bit.
They used to fight in the office before Max was even part of PMT.
They would yell at each other about Philly, Boston.
So for one of them to win this blood feud and then have Jake Marsh just be like,
I don't really care and have him win would be so fun.
And the Florida Panthers are winning too.
He's like yeah I guess
I just hope they all have fun
That's what he'll say and it will drive him nuts
Him being from Miami is one of the bigger upsets
I think so
Not Long Island
I think that's where his dad
Is from
Yeah
Yeah
Miami sports are hot
F1 hot
that's another awkward sound i don't know what to say yeah yeah
trying to keep it going down to you know vegas win it carolina win it
it could be level score eight four like imagine carolina versus florida Vegas win it. Carolina win it. Could be like the worst.
That will score eight.
Imagine Carolina versus Florida.
It could be Raleigh against Miami, and it could be Seattle against Vegas.
Yeah, that's bad.
Edmonton's not a hub.
No, but at least Edmonton's Canada.
Yeah.
And they have like the face of hockey.
Yeah.
Who?
Ryan Whitney? Yeah. Yeah. Who? Ryan Whitney?
Yeah, they have Ryan Whitney.
David McConner, I think.
No, I think he's talking about Ryan Whitney.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Connor McDavid's pretty fucking good.
That guy too.
We do a, it's like, it's very mean girl-ish.
When we have Whitney on, we just ask him if Connor McDavid's so good,
why does he ever come off the ice?
And hockey fans get so upset.
It's not like you're renting.
Yeah.
But seriously, he's so much better, and he has the stamina to keep him on.
Yeah, like a third of the game.
Yeah, LeBron plays like, you know, maybe not anymore, but like 45 minutes.
Yeah.
He comes off the ice.
That's a quitter.
People get so angry.
I guess he doesn't want to win.
Not everybody does.
He stayed on the ice longer.
Maybe they win more.
That's just a simple fact.
He doesn't seem more tiring than basketball.
No.
They're kind of full-on sprinting.
What, ice hockey?
Yeah, you're sliding around.
It's pretty tiring, I'm sure, to go up and down the ice.
Yeah, I'm sure it's pretty tiring.
Getting hit every time you go down.
Every time you get there, you get hit.
You go back.
A lot of equipment on.
Yeah, basketball is a lot of stamina.
They are short shifts, though.
I mean, what, 45 seconds to a minute and a half?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Moley stays out there.
He's just chilling between the pipes.
Yeah.
Got to be a psycho to be here.
Have they ever?
What about a sumo wrestler goalie?
Yeah, I don't know.
Would that be allowed?
600-pound goalie?
Would he be able to move his arms?
Would he need to?
He'd have to have space for his legs.
Yeah, he'd have to catch the puck every now and then.
Otherwise, they'd just stand there.
Okay, seven-foot sumo wrestler.
So he can be on his knees the whole time, but he's just in front of the net.
That way he covers the whole thing.
Yeah, you'd maybe have a little bit in the top corners, but what are the odds?
You just put your arms up.
You just go like this.
Did a sumo wrestler hold his leg?
What about like a kicker?
Kicker who just doesn't miss from 40.
You're suggesting they should find one?
World's biggest goalie.
Hockey goalie.
Somebody had to have tried this.
Kyle, that wasn't even close to what we were talking about.
What about a wide receiver that never drops a pass?
Why has nobody thought of that?
If I was a coach, that's the first thing I'd try to do.
You're right.
A kicker that never misses is great.
That's what motherfucking Ninja said.
I don't get how you're an NFL kicker and you just miss.
I'm on Ninja's side.
It's kind of true.
It is kind of true. There should be guys who just don't miss from 30'm on Ninja's side. It's kind of true. It is kind of true.
There should be guys who just don't miss from, like, 30 or 40 ever.
Yeah.
No, I agree with that.
That's why college is so fun to watch because, like,
every kick you have no idea if they're going to be able to make it.
Free throw is the same way.
You should never miss a free throw.
You would think.
Like, your job is to play basketball.
It's crazy what the the anxiety like the yeah system
does yeah there's like guys on tiktok who have disabilities who make like 53s in a row
wait well this the pads have limits but the human fat doesn't have right right
couldn't a team like it's not like legally within the game the pads have to be a certain size, right? You call Whitney up and ask him?
No.
Brandon?
Huh?
I'm not calling Whitney up.
I don't do well with Whitney.
You don't have his number, do you?
Don't.
Okay.
I don't do well with him.
There are certain guys in this company I'm awkward around, don't do well with them.
Whitney's one of them?
Oh, yeah.
Both those hockey guys are.
What?
Those guys make it easy.
It's fun.
Taylor LeJuan, I'm awkward as fuck with him.
Is it pro athletes?
Masculinity.
Might be.
Masculinity.
Might be.
You got a problem
with masculinity?
There's somebody else
you're also bad with.
I forget.
Yeah, I'm bad.
I stay away from the ones
I'm bad with.
Taylor LeJuan,
I'm bad with.
Thanks.
Major mark on the act today.
Yeah.
It's big.
There's Chet Hanks' appearance.
Oh, dear.
All right. Yeah. I've been. Oh, there's Chet Hanks' appearance. Oh, dear. All right, yeah.
I've been waiting
for this.
What is this?
So, do we have
any Big Red?
Did you have
any Big Red?
I haven't read it.
Let's go.
I didn't buy any.
About time.
Didn't somebody
go buy it that day?
I think maybe
Zah went and got it.
Do we have any?
You can run and go
buy Big Red.
Yeah.
All right, yeah.
It's good to see
who has to go
run and buy it.
And that person's off.
Yeah. They'll be the first person off the wheel they have to go get it. What is the thing here?. Spin to see who has to go run and buy it. And that person's off. Yeah.
They'll be the first person off the wheel.
They have to go get it.
What is the thing here?
You have to get a piece of Big Red, lick the wrapper, and keep it to your forehead until
you get a Big Red forehead.
You get a Big Red.
I guess it burns.
It burns.
We stood on the school bus.
We could do that.
Chet's on there, and Tom, you're going to have to call on it and explain what to do.
All right.
So yeah, spin the wheel.
See who has to go grab it, and someone will go grab it right away.
Oh. Okay.
Shit.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wasn't Max?
Max was never in the room.
That's true.
He was.
He was.
He was.
He was.
So it was Nick, technically.
Meeks?
I mean, Meek, Phil.
Yeah. Then it can't be.
How long do you have to put on your forehead?
Until it really burns.
Until you have a red rectangle.
Got it.
On your...
Okay.
I got to go do apartments tonight.
No one's ever going gonna rent me an apartment.
Now, in elementary school,
our skin was much more sensitive, so maybe it
seemed like a worse thing.
Would you rather go have the big red forehead?
Yeah.
It might be tough to find.
Does everyone have big red stuff?
We're sitting on a Dwayne Reed.
Yeah.
Let's keep it spinning. Oh, we'll figure it out by the time it gets back? Yeah, I guess I'll takewayne Reed. Yeah. Let's keep it spinning.
Oh, we'll figure it out by the time it gets back?
Yeah, I guess I'll take the reins here.
Okay.
Oh, only one person has to do it?
Yes.
Eliminator.
And then you would chew the wintergreen lifesavers to create sparks.
You had to turn the lights on.
It's going to be me.
What happens if it's shit?
Call him back.
Tommy's going to call him back and ask him. Tell him to do it. And then I shit? Call him back Call him back
and ask him
Tell him to do it
And then I'll ask
if we get a video
Tell him he doesn't
have to do it
Ah, Chet
you lucky motherfucker
Next time, pal
I remember too
people told me
you could eat
the Orbit gum wrappers
and so you would
as a show of strength
on the bus
You ate Cineburst, right?
I don't know
but I was eating
the entire thing.
I think the whole thing was just paper,
and paper just kind of dissolves.
Dissolves into the gum, yeah.
It's not meant for consumption.
Please stop.
Be lucky.
Okay.
Okay.
Where's Michael?
What?
I was saying during air, they wouldn't show Michael Jordan.
That's right.
You're saying that during air?
Where?
Show Michael.
Dej.
Hey, you might get your own thing here.
No.
I'm waiting to hear back if I have melanoma on my forehead this week.
Oh, now you're...
There, I'm safe.
Off.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's going to be me.
There we go.
Should we go ahead and text Max and get him in here for the...
No, it's going to be me, so it doesn't matter.
So let's just keep going.
This isn't best of seven, right?
This is just what it is.
It should be best of seven, right?
So one may. Oh. Oh, we can is just what it is. It would be best of seven, right? So one may.
We could do is what it is.
I have a question.
Is the Tim Tam cake real?
It's all real.
I want it right now.
Eat it.
I did call dibs on that when I got here, though.
You going to take a Tim or a Tam?
I think they're meant to be together.
Three nothing. This is a blowout. I think they're meant to be together. 3-0.
This is a blowout.
Shut up, Tommy.
Shut the fuck up, Tommy.
Could be.
It's as of now.
First I drag your ass to London.
3-1.
No longer a sweep.
Thank you, Tommy.
Two.
Quite a sweep.
Yep.
There we go.
There we go. There we go.
I don't like the sensation of burning.
I'm sure a lot of people do.
I don't think that dried forehead will affect Max in any way.
No, I don't think so either.
I feel like he's probably done this before.
Probably did it this morning.
Who has his number?
I think I do.
That is the best thing.
Somebody texted Max.
Oh, I will.
Brandon, I think you were thinking of Darwin, Australia.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe I was.
All this openness, nothing, and then...
Yeah, maybe I'm just stupid, though.
Well, they have an international airport.
Don't talk like that.
Well, probably because they're so close to...
Yeah, let's see Darwin.
Darwin?
I think you're probably about 60. It's a standard tropical. Axe's see, Darwin. Darwin, probably about 60.
It's a standard tropical.
Axe, sorry, man.
Yeah, I was sitting next to Fasoli, so he was informing me of everything.
This won't be bad, though.
It's not going to be bad.
I don't really understand what it is.
It was an old schoolboy.
Max, you can sit in your own seat if you don't want to stand there and hold that mic.
Okay.
So, what is it? It's something with big red?
So, on the back of the school bus back in the day, you would lick the big red wrapper and stick it on your forehead.
And everybody would see who could keep it on the longest because it burns.
And then it leaves a bright red rectangle on your forehead.
I said, I don't even think you'll feel it.
I don't think it's going to affect you in any way.
Yeah, I'm a beast.
Yeah.
No.
We saw that earlier.
Yeah, he is.
My neck does still kind of hurt.
Yeah, I almost...
You're going to fuck me up, too.
All right, good, good.
I'm tired after that.
Yeah, I feel like, you know,
when you, like, slapped it wrong on your head,
that's how I felt since the wrestling encounter.
Well, you were fighting back hard.
You played college baseball.
I did.
A couple college athletes in here.
Division I.
Division I.
Delaware?
Hofstra, CAA.
Yeah.
Similar.
Long Island boy.
Oh, yeah, basically.
So this is the act
Yeah well we're winding down now
Waiting for Big Cat to get back with our gum
Just call Chet Hanks
Yeah
Are you boys with him?
It doesn't seem like we got off on the best foot
It wasn't bad
He's not going to Lartuzzi tomorrow night Did you text him again? You don't I mean probably not going to Lartuzzi tomorrow night.
Did you text him again?
You don't.
I mean, probably not going to Lartuzzi.
Yeah, I mean, I could.
Well, you did put the idea in his head.
You should check Lartuzzi tomorrow night to see if Chet Hanks did go.
I mean, I could maybe try to get a reservation under Chet Hanks.
Maybe they would give it to me.
It's very hard to get a reservation there.
I think Chet Hanks could pull it off.
Definitely. That's good. Wow. to me it's very hard to get a reservation there i think chef hanks could pull it off definitely good wow wow it's bigger than texas that's impressive a lot bigger than texas oh oh no
i haven't seen you in a while i mean in biosome
he got you you look sick he's like where you been haven't seen you in a while. I mean, buy us some. I was just like, fuck.
He got you.
You look sick.
He's like, where you been?
Haven't seen you in a while.
I was like, all right, give me a Jokic.
You got the jumbo nuggets.
What are you going to do?
He got me good.
It's 50.
All right, big red forehead.
I don't know why I need it.
You're doing it too.
I'm not doing it.
It's Max.
Oh, it's only one person?
We spun the wheel.
Oh, Max, what a bad day for you. Man, Brandon would help.
It would help your credibility for the people who come live on the show.
I was the first one that came off the wheel.
I would really appreciate that.
I would with your sensitive sky.
I'd be just curious to see.
Oh, it would be bad.
I would do it if anybody else would do it. Yeah, I'll do it if you Oh, it would be bad. I would do it if anybody else would do it.
Yeah, I'll do it if you'll do it.
Do it.
I'll do it if you do it.
So what do you do?
Just for old time's sake.
You peel one of the things out and you lick the wrapper.
Don't like super lick it, but just enough to get the whole thing wet like stamp.
Take the gum out?
Yeah, you take the gum out.
I got caught by the Jersey guy.
I can't believe you only bought one.
Well, I didn't want it.
I mean, I already got me for one just out of nowhere.
And keep it there.
Make sure the whole thing really sticks.
Now, is it?
It used to be like a tin foil, and it was the tin that would stick to our heads.
All right.
Everyone should do it.
Let's go.
It's not going to be good for me.
I know.
I'm concerned by that. I'm the only one who legally doesn't have to do it. Let's go. It's not going to be good for me. I know. I'm concerned by that.
I'm the only one who legally doesn't have to do it because the wheel hit me.
It used to be a foil.
I got high chew as well if anyone wants one.
It's an underrated.
What that's in foil is always paper on the inside.
Oh, well.
Do it.
It always used to be a metal, so I'm a little concerned.
Grab me one, KB.
I don't know how this is gonna go
Yeah
Wait, I'm feeling it already
Wait are you guys feeling this already or no? I'm not feeling it. Oh, fuck. I'm feeling it a little bit.
Tommy, how wet's your tongue be?
Jesus Christ, Tommy.
I broke mine.
I got a wet ass fucking tongue.
Ladies.
It's like the easiest thing in the world to do.
It's kind of refreshing, isn't it?
I'm not burning at all.
Mine is.
It's kind of like bees in.
Yeah, it's a little bit like bees in.
You want to toss me a slice?
Oh, sure.
You like my Yokochit jersey, Max?
Yeah, that was cool.
I got one.
Okay.
A little big.
That was mean of you.
Oh, I'm feeling the burn.
Yeah, it burns a little.
Yeah, it definitely burns a little.
Not nothing.
How do you not feel this?
It hurts me.
Oh, it's burning.
Yeah, it feels like a sunburn.
It feels like when you have a sunburn and somebody rubs against it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
How long are we doing this?
Whoever's the toughest keeps it on the longest is the thing.
Mine's really burning. Mine's burning bad. Yeah, it keeps it on the longest is the thing. Mine's really burning.
Mine's burning bad.
Yeah, it burns.
Mine's burning a little bit.
Burns pretty good.
Mine burns a lot.
Yeah, it burns a lot.
Max, you have nothing?
No, no, I'm feeling it.
Yeah, it burns.
It took me a while.
It took me a while.
I don't know if I put enough.
But it's not burning to the point I would take it off.
I'm taking it off.
It burns.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, this burns bad.
Yeah, it burns pretty bad.
I don't feel it at all.
Ah.
Yep. I didn't, I licked it less in the first time. I barely licked it. And now it burns pretty bad I don't feel it at all I licked it less in the first time And now it burns more
So the more licked
Wait
It burns more
I'm starting to feel it
Yeah it really hurts
And then it leaves a big red rectangle
You do it's not huge but you have a little bit of...
I'm feeling it.
This yoke of yours really doesn't fit, huh?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I asked for extra large...
What the...
It's not the first time you asked for extra large nuggets.
God damn it.
Okay.
I didn't realize it didn't.
I thought maybe because I was just wearing a sweatshirt.
No, it's a sweatshirt.
That burns.
Yeah.
If you exhale, somebody's going to get shot in the face with a number that flies off.
They even got this?
The Western Union.
That's because it's real.
That burned.
Yeah.
Your forehead's red. Is it? Yeah. I'm just going to take it off to That's because it's real. That bird. Yeah. Your forehead's red.
Is it?
Yeah.
I'm just going to take it off to see if the forehead's red.
Keep it.
Oh, no.
That means you lose.
You got to beat Max for the honor of the yak.
He's got a lot of air in his.
His is barely even on.
That's a little airy over on this.
That's what I was saying, that I felt like I didn't put enough on it.
Now it's off.
Grab a new paper, but don't lick it as much.
Yeah, let me...
I sopped mine.
Ew.
I'm just going to...
Stop that.
Do you want a high chew?
No, thank you.
Yeah, I'll grab one.
Wait, I should lick it less or more?
Less.
Less.
That's gum.
I feel like it didn't stick because I didn't lick it enough.
It's getting red. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it didn't stick because I didn't lick it enough.
Yeah, it leaves a big red spot.
The burning starts to go away, though, after a while.
It's getting better.
Does it have to be your forehead?
No, you can put it anywhere.
Yours is. It's very red.
What the fuck?
Yeah, right there.
Looks fine.
No, it's very red.
No, it's very red.
Yeah.
God damn it.
All right, I'm going to take mine off just to see.
I'm shocked, Brandon.
I thought you would have like wacky skin.
No, it's red.
A little burn.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe I'm just too much of a man. So wait, can't be one? Before it's red. A little burn. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just too much of a man.
So wait, KB won?
Before it's red.
Oh, Max.
I mean, you hit me.
You took mine off.
I was making sure it stayed.
Stop doing that.
I'm just getting assaulted on this show today.
Yeah, I mean, this is pretty much just kb was like i'm gonna
wrestle max and then well we told them yeah we definitely told them so that's it it's just yeah
no one else ended up wrestling well he than me he tried nick oh you you came out the winner you're
the only one to wrestle back you came out the winner because everyone else didn't wrestle back
your like fight or flight immediate it's on was a cool move.
Think about me.
Yeah, one thing about Max.
All right, and he won this.
Oh, my God.
All right, go ahead.
Take it off, Max.
You take it off.
Let's see it.
Red forehead.
Where's Michael?
Yours isn't that red.
No, it's not bad.
That's a little red.
Oh, do you have very sensitive skin?
Yeah, I didn't think that hurt that much.
Yeah, I do too.
Yours is really, really much. Yeah, I do too. Yours is really very much.
I've been fucked up for weeks.
It's just dumb.
Yeah, that sucked. Yeah.
So I'm good here? Yeah, for now.
Yeah.
Watch your back, though. You sit next to Fasoli?
I do. How's that?
Um, it's
fine.
It is funny every time he plugs his phone in Oh yeah
What happens?
It says thank you daddy
Thank you daddy
Every time he charges his phone
It says
It gets an alert
Like a ringtone that says thank you daddy
What?
His phone does always the worst
Every time
And he charges it
out of his computer, so
how many times do you plug your phone into your computer?
Every time, you just hear a thank you, daddy.
It's the worst.
But thank you for having me, I guess.
Thank you, daddy.
Max, to be honest, does this toy look fat?
It looks horrible on you
it doesn't look fat
you gotta take it off
I mean it looks bad
it's one of your worst
what size is that
I said XL
I think he might have
given me a large
I feel like if you got
in a plane crash
it would hold your body together
yeah
you know
it's like a flak jacket.
It's not bad when you stand up.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is like a flak jacket.
Solid.
Yeah, not bad.
I look like Jokic.
All right, I got a Nuggets jersey that doesn't fit.
It's cool.
It's cool.
KB, you want a jersey?
You guys give me too many jerseys.
Give it to someone who needs it.
Someone who's in need.
Who needs a Yokel's jersey.
Someone who doesn't have enough clothes.
Let's spin the wheel of everybody's name in the office,
and you gotta go give it to them.
I'll give it to them.
World of shirts.
Is my forehead ever not gonna be red?
I don't think so.
It takes a while.
Any excuse to spin this wheel, and I'm for it I don't think so. It takes a while. Any excuses to spin this wheel and I'm for it.
I love this wheel.
It's so good.
Yeah.
Oh, Greer.
He's one of the few people who need it.
He will be like very touched.
Did you see the video?
Yeah, it's a gnarly video.
Did he tweet it?
Yeah.
It's just like, don't ever do anything
that physically...
Don't ever do anything.
Yeah, pretty much. Don't ever move.
Okay, so Wednesday, Jenks.
Yep.
Good show, everyone. Thanks, Tommy.
Yeah, of course. Thanks for having me.
I actually don't even know what I'm looking at.
Pete, I'm going to wrestle Pete.
He looks like his foot is detached.
I can't.
I can't.
He's just looking at me.
Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete.
He's so funny.
Him not reacting.
Eddie.
I'm not doing it.
Do it, do it.
I almost feel like Pete could unlock an internet.
Let me hold your computer real quick.
You want to.
He knows.
He's been listening all episode.
Yes, he's a yak head.
All right.
See everyone tomorrow.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. It's the act. It's the act.
It's your straws.
Yeah, style.
It's tape.
For a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk.
Shop and do.
Yankees love.
It's the act.
It's the act.