The Yak - KB is TRIGERRED By An Internet Troll | The Yak 10-27-22
Episode Date: October 27, 2022Looptity loopYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello!
What's up?
Or what?
Happy birthday, Fastoli.
Yeah, happy birthday, Fastoli and O'Malley.
I just tried to say Fastoli.
Happy birthday, Fastoli.
O'Malley.
Mostly Fastoli for me.
I mean, it's nothing against O'Malley, but... Fastoli.
He's our one true king.
It kind of waters down the wish to Fasoli.
Right. Fasoli is Barstool's mascot.
Fasoli is when
Barstool's empire crumbles
in like 70 years, he will be
our last Reich.
Be our last Fuhrer.
He'll just be standing there in the little frame smiling.
Just be like, I pledge
to carry the torch.
He will.
I think we can get him to kill somebody for us.
That's not even a question. He probably already
has.
Happy birthday to us. Love that.
I love how he gave O'Malley Kobe.
Yeah, the dead person.
Oh, maybe she's only 24.
Oh!
Is he really only 23 years old?
He was 22 yesterday.
He's a hard 23.
No offense to our...
He didn't make that.
He didn't come up with that.
Too many elements of creativity.
Nothing...
What, just their ages?
He had to put the...
I feel like he could come up with the names on the players.
I don't know about the ages as the numbers.
Well, that's just their numbers.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Thought Kobe was eight for some reason.
He switched back and forth.
That was pre-Colorado Kobe.
Or did he go eight after?
Eight after.
Oh, no, he was eight before.
He didn't turn 24 until like 2008 or 9.
I thought he switched here.
It was right after the rape.
Colorado.
I don't think it was right after the rape.
I think it was later.
When did Kobe switch his number?
Brandon, let's call it Colorado.
Let's call it Colorado.
Rape accusations?
What is it?
Kobe switched.
Is that my phone making noise?
It certainly is.
The only person with their phone out.
Yeah, 2004, 2005.
Okay, so it was around Colorado.
Yeah, he was, I mean.
Colorado will change him. That's the most not guilty thing you can do is change your number.
Yeah.
Getting a new haircut.
Or wearing a beanie.
Yeah. Kyle a new haircut. Or wearing a beanie. Yeah. Uh oh.
Yup. And the dickies you're wearing.
You got the work wear on?
I tried something.
That's a brand new dickies
to you too. I can still see the crease.
Brand new. Just bought it from Urban Outfitters.
You're still creasing.
I was wearing something that I sweat through.
So the big news is that our boss, Dave Portnoy, is 10X.
He's 10X.
10X, if you're with me.
What a-
I can't get over it.
Unironically, he's 10X.
Unironically, a year after we started making these jokes,
he was just like, hey, that yak thing you do, 10X, I'm doing it now.
He's doing the what health the health which is undeniably way oh he got he definitely got a way well he's getting he got his
blood taken yeah uh i said that i you know i don't know how the 10x health works but i i guessed
that given his net worth, he will probably be prescribed
those $120,000
red light saunas. Certainly, yes.
Well, that's necessary. Yeah, it seems like
something, or the oxygen vapor machine.
He's going to find out the day he's going to
die, as of right now.
And I think we should hold that over for
Sully's head. If he
finds out when Dave's going to die.
I also looked it up. Fly out to Miami.
I looked up the guy.
And, again, I mean, this is one of those things that, like, if you end up feeling better,
then more power to you because it's not my money.
But the guy is not a doctor.
Oh.
He got a bachelor's degree in biology from, like, a university I don't recognize.
Okay. So, confession. in biology from like a university i don't recognize okay so confession i didn't know
i thought 10x was just a series of a guy going around speaking so there's another branch this
is this guy there's branches of 10x this biologist human biologist his actual job before i read up
about this his job before he started 10x health was to estimate when people would die for insurance companies.
That's just bullshit.
Wait.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Huh.
Gary Brekka is his name.
He did it with Alex Jones, right?
So he did it.
Not Alex Jones, but Dana White.
He did it with Dana White, but he did it with Grant Cardone, the guy who created 10X.
Grant Cardone was like, oh my God, you saved my life, and then purchased 10X Science.
It sounds like he just has his degree in biology.
Yeah, he's got a bachelor's degree in biology, which is pretty close to a doctor.
I heard this thing from a biologist.
Yes, correct.
He needed two more degrees.
Correct.
But isn't school a scam anyway?
Yes.
Is there stats on his predictions?
No, I think you just... No, because he gives you the prediction,
and then if you do his thing, he's like,
look it, you beat the odds.
Right.
That would really suck.
No one said you were going to make it this far.
Like if Dana White got polio next week?
Yeah.
That would suck.
I don't know, polio has...
It's actually kind of a little comeback here
yeah it's yeah it's all the rage it's the flavor of the week i was reading too there's like a bunch
of different companies that do that we'll test your blood and then we'll prescribe you or you're
shit in this bag and we'll prescribe you all this like vitamins or whatever and there's like no
actual science behind any of them again if it makes you feel good after, cool, not my money.
Placebo is powerful.
That alone could be worth it.
Yeah, Dave is going to 10x his health.
And anyone who's a hater,
obviously not us,
we're 10x mindset.
We've been living the 10x mindset
for a while now.
Yeah, you're going to be proven wrong
by how healthy Dave gets
What kind of weirdo collects someone else's poop though?
Yeah
Me indirectly
Nick and KB are collecting Jake Malasek's poop
I don't know if anybody forgot that
20x
Why?
Me and Kyle got into kind of our biggest argument ever
Over poop If you let a human turd dry out in a jar Me and Kyle got into kind of our biggest argument ever over poop.
If you let a human turd dry out in a jar, it will lose its odor.
It will be dry and stinkless.
I'm in the camp that if you re-dunk this in water, it will smell again.
Kyle thinks it will be a scentless wet turd.
So we have Malasek who has shit in a jar for us and is currently drying out.
And he sends us a smell update every day.
It's now at a 1.2.
Whoa.
So it's almost time.
It's almost un-stingy.
It was at a 1.3 a couple days ago,
but it went back up to a 3.1.
What are you concerned?
His nose is...
What if he's going nose blindness?
It's sitting outside.
He has an olfactory bias,
which I'm concerned about.
Sure.
We should have an independent... We need, which I'm concerned about. Sure. He should have an independent.
We need three days of zero for him.
Yeah.
You need a guest smeller to come in like a Guinness judge.
So which one of you guys thought it would smell again if you dunk it?
I do.
You?
It's still a turd.
I don't think it's judging.
I agree with Nick.
Is it a dunk or is it a soak?
It's a dunk.
No, you're wrong.
It's not.
I think it'll reactivate.
No, not at all.
Soak would. A hot soak. Yeah. I think it'll reactivate. No, not at all. Soak would.
A hot soak.
Yeah.
A hot soak would reactivate it completely.
Completely?
I shout the ass.
I'm rooting to be wrong.
No, I'm rooting to be wrong. How thrilling would it be for it to regain, revive its odor?
You're completely missing the point of a scentless, fresh-looking turd.
What a prank.
The only thing that could bring that back is heat.
It's a win-win.
I don't think anything can bring it back.
Once it's gone, it's gone.
You put it back up your butt.
I think all the smelling things in there have created and died.
What makes stuff stink? I think it's the bacteria.
It's still in your body.
The brown, it's still the old food.
The digested food. It's still going to stink.
If we did 10x, our poops probably wouldn't stink.
Probably not.
They'd smell like roses.
Next week, we'll be getting the conclusion, I'd imagine.
I'm excited.
I think you might need to wait longer.
DJ, can you pull up 10X Health real quick?
I just want to see what Dave's going to be prescribed.
I think it was so earnest about it, too.
So earnest.
Yeah, that clip was amazing.
It's just, it's also...
Is it just like advice?
Like, eat this, do this exercise?
He gives them vitamins.
I think he gives them...
The products.
Oh, yeah, superhuman protocol.
Specifically designed to help your DNA function properly.
Now, that sounds...
Interesting.
That's hilarious. Okay, you're about to... Magnetism, oxygen, and light. function properly. Now that sounds interesting.
Magnetism,
oxygen, and light. Hypermax oxygen.
That's oxygen, but it's hypermax.
So does none of this include working out?
I don't know. I don't think so.
That superhuman
protocol with red light panels is $15,000.
It's so funny that Dave
was literally saying trust the science. It is $15,000. Oh, yeah. It's so funny that Dave was literally saying, like, trust the science.
No, it's at $20,000.
No.
He was telling me to trust the science.
So the complete package is what?
$130,000.
$130,000.
That's a bargain, though.
But my guess is he's going to tell Dave that he's going to die in five years unless he
buys this stuff.
Again, not a scam.
Do you think they've ever been like, hey, man, you're fine.
Yeah, you're good.
You don't actually need this. Yeah's your money back yeah i guess it's no
yeah my guess is definitely no like because they came to his house he says in the clip and like
went into his house to do the blood testing with him like who got him well so he has friends in
miami who were 10 who told him an x 10X is the way of life.
What kind of Larry David sitcom life is he in where David Grutman just drives up next to him?
Hey, buddy.
Hey, what's up?
Looks like you're struggling there with your walk.
Is that what happened?
Yeah.
Yeah, I missed this.
He's like, you got a 10X.
He was taking his hot boy walk and Grutman drove up.
I was like, you look like you need some 10X.
That's a premise.
That's not real life.
You guys sore at all today?
Yes.
Actually, yeah.
I'm a little sore in the lower abs, the abdomen.
My top thigh and my lower back is tight as hell.
I guess I'm such a beast.
I forgot we did that.
I only did it for 20 minutes.
Yep.
Should we do it again?
No. Let's do it again? No.
Let's do a different one.
What's another feat?
Maybe goal posts?
No, that sounds like it's...
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You guys do it.
I would love to watch.
That's not a physical.
That's not hard.
It is.
You think that's hard?
It's probably hard.
We'll start.
We'll start.
Down and up.
We won't actually do it. I want to go down. It's not actually. I don't want to start. You didn't say it's hard? It's probably hard We'll start We'll start Down and up We won't actually
I want to go down
It's not actually
I'm not even
I don't want to start
You can say it's hard
You gotta at least
No I just don't want to
Oh no then you have to say it's hard
I'm gonna say it's hard
It's really difficult
Hard
You seem sarcastic
It's really hard
You can't even do it
For like five minutes probably
I can because I have
Young boy shoulders
I don't have old man
You have young boy shoulders
Like you guys
Where like one But you movement is going to explode.
But you're not even doing it.
You can't even do it.
I'm done.
I just don't understand it because there's no strength.
This is worse than yesterday.
There's definitely strength involved.
Really?
Yeah.
Weight of your hands.
It is kind of starting to hurt.
You're just saying.
It's kind of starting to hurt my shoulders.
Shoulders, yeah.
I love the idea, too, of the 10X, like Grant Cardone and this guy Gary, the biologist,
catching wind that we talk shit about him. And they watch that clip and then it just goes right into us doing this.
Yeah.
Now this is a workout.
This is how you stay in shape.
My God, they're science deniers.
Yeah, fuck.
They would come for you first.
Yeah.
You're their clientele.
Listen, I actually would be interested in doing it knowing that it's a scam, but being like, go ahead, tell me.
It's going to be the complete 180 when Dave loves it.
We end up getting sponsored by 10X, and then we start reading ads for them.
Yeah, it's going to be the actual 10X.
Unironically.
Fuck.
You're so right.
There's a strong possibility.
Awesome where we're going to fucking be, though.
Yeah.
I actually kind of almost, I didn't fall for anything, but I've been following these fitness accounts,
telling me that I need to track all these things.
So I DMed one that said he could change my life, and I DMed one and said, all right, what are you going to do for me?
And he said, how much do you weigh, how much this?
And it got to the price, and it was.
Yeah.
Here's a little secret, and this is coming from a person who's out of shape and struggles with their weight and is not healthy.
The way to get healthy is to just eat right and exercise yeah and it's a lot in like everything else is just a shortcut
that people are trying to find i'm still getting scammed in that way though i'm i do a keto meal
plan meal delivery service they deliver it to my door like a weekly is it good no no what's it
called factor i'm not gonna say i do factor i don't do factor actually it's pretty weekly is it good no yeah no what's it called factor i'm not gonna say i do factor i
don't do factor actually it's pretty good is it but this is 80 a week just five dinners a week
but that's still kind of expensive for five i mean compared to like uber eats i like it just
because it forces me to eat some right do you eat them all how many of them a week do you eat i'll
eat i'll eat it every day but you will sometimes I'll carry over and I'll have like a lunch.
Brother.
I might try that out.
What is it?
Like sweet potatoes?
I like it.
I would just do an advertising for it, but Factor is the one I do.
What kind of meals do you get?
Last night I had like a Cacio de Pepe.
That's just cheesy.
Is yours microwave?
Yeah.
Okay.
It's good.
That was my one requirement.
I feel like microwave's a little risky, though.
Is it?
Microwave meal can suck.
It can, yeah.
Well, yeah, it's not a fresh-cooked meal, Seth.
It's not great.
No, it's good.
Okay, I'll try it out.
Use code Big Cat on Factor.
We just, yeah.
That was a better ad than we do for our actual advertisers.
Yeah, that was good.
No, it wasn't.
I fucking love our advertisers, and I'll go to the ends of the earth for Roback.
I'm wearing my Robacks right now, bitch.
How is it better?
If he's actually wearing Roback, how is it better?
Literally wearing Roback right now.
He's got a belly full of factor.
Look at this.
Oh, wait.
Do the ad.
Watch this.
Go ahead.
Do the ad.
Roback's performance polos are the only polos we wear.
The pants have ultimate stretchability, so they will enable you to kick 75% higher.
The fit's perfect.
The waistband of the pants never loses its shape.
They're perfect for a day in the radio studio or if you're going out to fancy dinner or if you're eating dinner at home.
They got shorts, falls here.
Roback's Performance hoodies are a game changer.
The softest, stretchiest hoodies in the game.
Oh, my gosh.
They will enable you to unlock your hamstrings.
Use both together.
Jump over that. Oh, God. I love it all. Use code together. Jump over that.
Oh, God.
No, careful lights.
He's been, yeah, watch the lights.
So you've got to duck and jump. Oh, yeah, never mind.
For Roback.
No, you got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
All right, KB, do it for Roback.
I'd balk my head.
No, not with that.
You were pretty easy.
E-Neon.
Use code YAK on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week.
That's spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.
That's 20% off all your polos, Q-Zips, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Use code YAK.
Make sure to jump on Roback's new print polos that have been looking fresh,
and they'll have you feeling good all winter long at Wooga.
Now that stool's just in the middle, we've got to use it for something.
Yeah, probably.
Somebody needs to sit there or something.
I wish we had them guns or them wands
so we could fucking shoot it.
Stool, stool, something on it.
Shoot it or light it on fire.
I have the wands at my desk.
I just can't.
Yeah, you made a big production out of buying those wands,
and then you only brought one in here.
It was really disappointing.
Oh.
Tough to get them going.
That's funny, though.
It was tough to get them going.
It was funny to get our hopes up.
It was.
I thought that that was nice. It was the waiting that was the journey on it. Remember the gel guns?. That's funny, though. It was tough to get them going. It was funny to get our hopes up. It was. I thought that that was nice.
It was the waiting that was the journey on.
Remember the jail guns?
That was a fun couple days.
That was.
I missed that day, and I get FOMO still.
I might have a new one in my desk.
Really?
We should get blow dark.
I have one hidden away.
I have a serious one.
Are they illegal now?
Yeah, in New York City.
They are. We banned them. Well, we did it the day that there now? Yeah, in New York City. They are.
They banned them.
Well, we did it the day that there was that school shooting in Texas.
Yeah.
Have you seen, like, there's, I see them all the time on my Instagram.
They're like, they make them and they look exactly like just like real guns.
Yeah.
Really.
The ones that we have are like all orange and blue, like colorful.
Yeah.
They make ones that just look real.
That was one of the, I mean, obviously, the tragedy in Texas happened, but it happened
right after we had done the act that day.
Yeah.
And the losers who were like, how could you do this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not realizing we did it hours before.
Yeah.
Fucking worst.
Yeah.
Those are the worst people on the internet.
Worst people in the world.
Worst people in the country.
Yeah, Houston is some lames.
Saw that on Twitter. I have now missed houston is some lames i saw that on twitter
i have now oh houston is some lames dude i was going kb's got my back yeah i was in the fucking
trenches you yes i love that i'm in the trenches as well i have now mispronounced cities in every
region of america um the pacific northwest everyone has been cool. They give me light ball busting, and they appreciate the shout out.
The Pacific Northwest, biggest buttheads in the world.
What happened?
Cheating accusations, dozen.
People, not even the cheating, they thought it was ridiculous that I mispronounced Yakima as Yakima.
They are so mad.
Yakima is literally the phonetic pronunciation of the word.
Y-A-K-I-M-A?
Yes.
When would you ever have a conversation about it with someone who knows?
Everyone is like, this dude is what a moron.
Yakima.
Can we just put a butthead in the ball?
How do you not know it's Yakima?
I was always neutral on those people.
I never really knew much about them.
Never been there.
One cheek is Oregon.
One cheek is Washington.
It's a butt.
It's a sideways butt.
Sideways butt.
I did just see a...
Yakima?
Yakima.
Yakima?
No.
Which is not...
A linguist could see that word for the first time
and not be able to pronounce it.
I'm surprised you didn't just know it, though.
I'm surprised you didn't know how to pronounce that word already.
It's a major city.
It's above 100.
He reads, though.
That's true.
He looks at maps.
If I saw Y-A-K-I-M-A, I would not look up the pronunciation.
I would just say Yakima.
You just assume it's Japanese.
Yeah.
Ugh.
Was that a Japanese sound?
That kind of was.
Oh.
Oh.
We don't have Stephen here.
No Stephen?
Good.
We don't have a governor on our...
Oh, we need him here.
Yeah.
We need a co-sign.
Yeah.
Good one, buddies.
That's a good jab.
Japanese?
That's a good jab against my people.
Oh, that's from Pokemon Stadium.
You're such a dork.
It's from the sushi game with Lickitung.
You don't get enough credit for being such a dork.
None at all.
None.
It's crazy.
Such a dork.
Dork's like cool now.
Dork's like eventual Pokemon is cool guy, honestly.
Like their fully evolved dork is a cool guy.
Like once you spend your youth as a dork,
and that comes out the other side as a cool guy.
Yeah, then you're like, oh, that guy has cool interests.
He has hobbies.
Good dresser.
Yeah.
Sleen house.
Santa Cruz shirt.
Lots of little figurines.
A pirate's hat, but not their colors.
Yeah.
I feel like you guys are describing me.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, this isn't you.
Hat that matches with the shoes.
You wish this was you.
But he doesn't want anyone to notice the shoes in the hat match, but that's clearly what he did.
He chose the two farthest parts of me to match.
You could drop him in the desert right now.
He's earth-toned out.
He is.
Brandon, is it true that you've been hiding an intellect from us
for quite some time and that you know different languages
that you speak around your house
and you know some French and shit like that?
His wife does.
I know your wife is.
My wife does.
My wife speaks four languages and she teaches three.
But you know some of them.
I think that you secretly are pretending to be a fucking.
I don't pretend to be.
Southerner.
No, I am a southerner.
You're actually from the south of France or something.
Je me sais quoi?
What if I told you.
Je me sais quoi? This is going to be crazy?
Southerners can be intelligent.
I'm not saying that.
I don't know.
Coacho?
Coacho?
Sam Pittman?
Louisiana is not a southerner.
Is that not?
Louisiana is its own world.
It is its own world.
He's a Cajun.
He's not a southerner.
I feel like Louisiana.
I don't get that at all.
I feel like you guys are always setting up different like like florida's not the south the south part of
florida is not the south the north part of florida is the south it's basically just mississippi
alabama and part in the pennsylvania north carolina south carolina georgia arkansas uh and upper
louisiana southern louisiana is not the south it's it'sajun country. Earlier in the show, he said, Cacio e Pepe, and you translated
it on the spot.
How would you be able to do that?
It has nothing to do with the South.
What did you say? Cheese and peppers?
I said cheesy pasta.
Which probably isn't even right.
Yeah, right. You're back to playing the Rube.
You play the Rube
on camera. I've eaten in restaurants.
I'm fat. You only know food names.
Correct.
You only know food names.
That ain't true.
I know that you're a worldly man.
And you pretend not to be worldly to fall into the southern stereotype that you extend.
Is your mic not on?
My mic is on.
Okay.
BLT.
Okay, yeah, but.
Say it.
What is it?
Bacon, lettuce, tomato.
Adam again.
Damn it. That's incredible? Bacon, lettuce, tomato. Adam again. Damn it.
That's incredible.
That's a southern sandwich.
That's all my grandfather ate for 60 years.
He's so fundido.
Okay.
Dude, maybe fool me once, but I think four languages is hotter than jumbo tits.
Maybe.
Four is so hot. Imagine having both.
Five is a little,
that gets kind of weird.
And you're a secret agent.
Four is so hot.
English,
Spanish,
French,
Japanese.
ASL.
And ASL.
Japanese.
Yeah,
she taught.
Madoma Arigato.
Mr. Walker.
I know.
She taught ESL,
not ASL.
Yeah,
you're right.
English is a second language.
I thought she knows sign language though. I don't know if she does or not. She's never done it to me. Yeah, you're right. English is a second language. I thought she knows sign language, though.
I don't know if she does or not. She's never done it to me.
How would you know? I'm too distracted.
I think I would go A4,
B3, C2, D1
for languages, tits.
Interesting.
I would go A4.
A4,
3C?
No, 3B.
Where are we at? A4, BC? Yeah, it's... Oh, 3B. Where are we at?
Yeah, A4, B...
If you have eight cups, you can get away with it if you have four languages.
Dude, you have...
E4?
E4?
That's a deck of gold.
Like Bill Buckner.
B3.
Shit.
You got the best of everything.
No, life's fine, man.
Life's good.
What?
You got a polygot wife that's stacked out the wazoo.
E4.
E4.
Is that first base? I never get those right. E3, E3. E3, shit. E-4. Is that first base?
I never get those right.
E-3.
E-3.
Or second base.
What?
No.
That's four second base.
Three is.
Six, four, three.
It's six, four, three.
Shortstop, second base, first base.
Oh, no.
It's one, two.
One is pitcher.
Two is catcher.
Three is first base.
Four is second base.
Five is third base.
Six is.
And then left field, seven, eight, nine.
You're fucking up his Bill Buckner, the whole joke right now.
I was trying to improve his joke.
Oh, I thought he was a second base.
Oh, he's a first base.
Shit.
Fuck yeah, I still fucked it up.
I knew he wasn't a second base.
Why did I think that?
Brandon's wife's going to have to unlearn one language.
To make that joke work.
To make that joke work.
It's on her now.
She has to have three.
She lived abroad in Japan like 20 years ago,
so she hasn't practiced.
Was he in the hole when he made that error?
Oh, he was right on the line
because it went right up the line.
It gets through Buckner.
It's in the hole.
I'm trying to make this joke work.
Oh, it's fine.
She doesn't know Japanese.
It's been 20 years since she lived in Japan.
Would she be fluent in Japanese?
She probably can converse.
Why can't we go to D4 and do an M&M joke?
Oh.
Here's D12.
Oh, fuck.
D4, 44.
She's got to either learn.
She's going to have to unlearn one language or learn eight more.
D4L was Laffy Taffy.
D4 is Central PA.
E12.
I don't know.
What about if she learns one more and she's F5?
Reset.
Yeah.
Top of the Wujita scale.
F5 is a disaster.
Yeah.
I think it's EF5.
Fuck.
One titty is bigger than the other.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I know you're actually smart, Brandon.
Yeah.
I mean, you guys watch me get on a trivia show and-
Trivia's not a challenge of smartness.
It's fucking just remembering.
The first year here, I wrote speeches for the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
That's probably the easiest way I remember.
You wrote Candice Owens speeches?
I wish.
No, for the first year here, I was writing speeches for a CEO.
You would write Papa John's conference meetings.
Stay on script, John.
I don't know if I would use that as your ticket to being smart.
I don't think dumb people are doing it. They wouldn't ask a dummy to do it. I don't know if I would use that as your ticket to being smart. I don't think dumb people are doing it.
They wouldn't ask a dummy to do it, I don't think.
I mean, that's pretty...
I would stick with knowing the languages and the trivia.
But that's my wife.
I don't know the languages.
Yeah, he do.
Jason.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you do.
You do know Japanese.
He doesn't speak Japanese in the house.
He doesn't speak Japanese.
Order us some sushi.
Yeah, you don't let her.
Order us some sushi. And we're don't letter. Order us some sushi.
And we're back to letters.
I'll order like C5 or something.
Yeah, that's true.
Did you see the basketball games in Japan, how they get dead silent for the free throws?
Did not.
No, I want to see it.
What a...
Respectful.
Wrestling matches in Japan, they go dead silent until the big move is hit, and then they politely clap.
That's awesome.
They just opened up their borders again.
They don't have garbage cans.
They just opened back up and everybody
is still... Isn't their border the
ocean? I think to
visitors from COVID.
I'd love to visit Japan. I would too.
That would be awesome.
I don't want to go there.
They don't have garbage cans because everybody takes their
trash home. I've seen cars too.
That's interesting.
I don't know.
It's cars.
It is the worst cars.
Yeah, that's why I don't want to go.
What about Fast and Furious 3?
Okie-drift.
Okie-drift.
I think that's not unusual there too.
Like if your baby has to, or your toddler has to poop, and you just hold them over the
trash cans there and let them-
What?
I was just reading a thing about it.
It's like, so there's no poop
or anything in the streets
like people
will do anything
that's smart
what about Lost in Translation?
yeah what about Lost in Translation?
that was a good movie
I haven't seen it
in a long time
if you guys were gonna be
like
if you couldn't make it
to the NBA
and you had to play
overseas somewhere
where would you
what country would you
hope to go to?
Spain
Greece?
Greece would be cool uh Australia overseas somewhere, what country would you hope to go to? Spain. Greece? Greece.
Greece would be cool.
Australia.
Australia.
That's just like here,
but different.
More racist.
That's probably what he's looking for.
That's why I said it.
The language barrier?
Yeah.
Go into the cafe?
I don't want to feel worldly, though.
I don't want to feel worldly.
They got fucking magpies down there.
Yeah, those things are vicious.
What's a magpie?
Spiders.
Bird, pack your head.
I know you speak Australian.
As a tall man, you would not make it more than three days in Australia.
Oh, they got deadly snakes and spiders, too.
Although, I'm not scared of spiders. The magpies would come after you.
You're not scared of spiders?
I'd be way more scared of spiders.
I've been bitten by a poisonous spider.
It knocked me down for three days.
What?
Really?
Where?
Brown recluse.
No way.
Did it hurt a lot?
Did it scar? I used to. I don't know where it went.
Not a scar.
Nobody knows
what fucking scar means.
It's right there under my...
Under my...
Did you see the spider on you?
No, but it was diagnosed later because it knocks you down bad. Really? Did you have to spider on you? No, but it was diagnosed later
because it knocks you down bad.
Did you have to go to the hospital?
He had to go to the hospital.
I finally went to the emergency room
and they diagnosed me
and said, we think you've been bit by a brown recluse.
They took a shot, put it right in there
and in 20 minutes I was fine.
You got anti-venom?
Whatever it was
It worked
It was just water again
Yeah
That's fine
Yeah
Brandon's only been
Prescribed water
My dad got bit by a spider
When I was young
And he has like a
You can
There's like an indent
In his forehead
It takes like chunks
Out of people's
It's like a chunk
Out of his forehead
Where the fuck
Are all these people
With spiders
We're just in Massachusetts
I don't know what kind
Of spider it was.
That's not true.
That's not fucking true.
That's what I've heard.
Say it again.
Yeah, there's no way.
You're never more than three feet away from a spider.
That's not fucking true.
That's not true.
Look below you.
In the middle of that room.
You think in between the buildings or in between the floors there's not spiders?
Three feet.
I would say maybe ten feet.
Walls.
You think there's not spiders in these walls?
We can't leave this room until we find a spider.
If someone has a 36-inch vertical, then they could jump three feet in the air, and then
they're three feet from everything.
What if you're hanging on the rim?
They're suspended.
Yeah, what if you can get hang time?
I hate spiders.
I don't like spiders.
I don't like that at all.
Three feet?
That's like the rumor that you eat like ten spiders a night.
I won't kill a spider.
I'll pick it up with toilet paper and take it outside and let it go.
That's probably how the recluse got you.
See, I didn't make it up.
Well, it just says fact or fiction.
I know, but I didn't make it up.
Yeah, point proven. This says
six feet too, which is a little more. I didn't make up the idea of it.
There's just no way.
You're always standing on a floor.
That means spiders are everywhere
because we're everywhere. What about a crowded building?
Spiders are everywhere.
What about...
I mean, you're not wrong.
I kind of believe you.
What about in the middle of a pool?
Yeah.
Water spider.
There's spiders in pools a lot.
Are there water spiders?
Oh, yeah.
Never seen a spider in a pool?
You look up water spiders.
Water spiders are awesome.
Biggest spider I ever saw was in a pool.
It's fun to watch a water spider
go across the water
and get hit by a big bass.
That's fun. I enjoy that. Oh, those are...'s fun to watch a water spider go across the water and get hit by a big bass. That's fun.
I enjoy that.
Oh, those are water.
Okay, I know what water spiders are, kind of.
They're just spiders that can walk on the water.
Craters?
Yuck.
There they are.
That was a good water spider.
What in hell?
Oh, they're so gross.
And I don't like the little dimples they make on the water.
I don't even want to.
See the banana spiders?
Whenever you get a fresh pack of bananas that every now and then
they have
it's the most poisonous
spider in the world
it's called the banana spider
every now and then
one gets into a bushel
in America
and like somebody opens up
and it's like
the fucking most poisonous
spider of all time
it's like the
isn't there like
an old wives tale
that like
the spiders that live
in the grapes
I got one in a blueberry once
where do our bananas come from that we eat?
Don't people say daddy long legs are very venomous, but they don't have a big mouth?
I don't think that's true.
Really?
There's no way that's true.
You're not supposed to eat them.
They're so small.
They're not even officially spiders.
Oh, right.
What?
It's true.
I just read about them the other day.
Spiders have two little body balls.
Yeah, they only have one?
They only have one.
So the long legs don't scare me.
It's a bug.
What?
It's a bug.
It's just a bug.
But, yeah, no.
Goddamn.
I haven't seen many daddy long legs recently.
Spider talk.
Yeah.
Are they going extinct, or am I just out of spider orbit?
I could be a good name for the show.
Spider talk?
Spider talk.
Spider might be better than scorpion.
No.
Scorpions be...
Okay.
That was what I was saying.
All right, so that's the yak.
I don't think we can continue after that.
What was that?
I guess we'll just end the show.
You sneeze like a bitch.
I didn't mean to do that.
KB, how was the company party yesterday?
You were the last one there. I was't mean to do that. KB, how was the company party yesterday? You were the last one there.
I was. I shut it down.
When was it announced there was a company
party? It was upstairs. It was an email.
It was an email and it was a costume
competition and if you won, you got
a $50 gift card to the Barstool store.
There were three costumes up there. Yeah. Who were they?
You guys all knew about this? I saw like a
I think it was mostly an upstairs thing.
I just walked by and saw people going upstairs, and somebody said, there's food upstairs.
And you had Katie Statz bring you down some food.
I watched it happen.
And I jumped the line and got my food and came back and did my show, and then-
I watched her bringing you literally a plate of grapes on a vine.
She brought that for herself.
She uses me as an excuse to take her own food.
I did not eat one of those grapes.
Wait, so who would they serve up there?
They had these cookies that they were frosted, and they looked like they would be soft,
but then you bit into the cookie, and they were hard, and they fucking snapped.
And it was infuriating.
Yes.
The Frankenstein ones, the green ones, the ghost ones.
It looked so soft.
It looked incredible, and then you bit into them, and they crumbled.
No, you don't.
Do you have leftover?
No, because everyone probably ate them.
They looked so delicious and soft.
They sucked.
Did you find them, Brandon?
Where would I find them?
They're upstairs still, maybe in the fridge.
They're not.
Oh, they're not?
They're probably the first thing to go.
It was charcuterie and cookies.
Do you want me to go look for food?
No, it's fine.
I want to try one of these cookies.
I thought they'd be soft.
I love a soft ass ice cream.
I hate a soft cookie.
Whoa.
What?
I hate a soft cookie.
What?
Shit.
Fuck soft cookies.
People prefer hard?
I love hard cookies.
Like a Chips Ahoy?
Ooh, taste.
Maybe a little too hard.
I love, maybe a little softness in the middle, but I love a nice.
You like these cookies? I love a nice... You like these cookies.
I love a soft cookie.
Why'd you make that noise?
Okay, it still sounded really good.
That's from Pokemon Stadium, too.
No, no, that was from Dan.
Damn.
That's probably why Miss Kim can never get those cookies right for you.
She's always soft baking.
I told her.
Listen, I've said this many times before.
Right, that's like getting your steak well done.
I live for a crunch.
I'm always looking for a crunch.
I didn't know what to do the other day because Dan always does a thing where the cookies are bad from Kim.
And she brings them to me and I always tell her, these are great.
And the other day she actually did bring a bad cookie.
It was not bad.
It was one with the seeds on it.
Oh, those seed ones were good.
They were terrible.
They were.
No.
No.
I don't need pumpkin seeds on my cookies. The ones were good. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. Yes, they were. No. No. Ew.
I don't need pumpkin seeds on my cookies.
Yeah, I'm not trying to eat a salad with my cookie.
But if you had blind taste tested it.
It would have been bad.
No, it was delicious.
The seeds were too present.
No, they weren't.
I will say I always go in and I always go.
Like, she puts them in the kitchen.
That was the first time I saw them and I said, not for me.
Yeah.
Gross.
They looked a certain way on my cookie. I didn't want it, you know, but then I tried it I saw them and I said, not for me. They looked a certain way
on my cookie.
It's because they looked a certain way.
I live for
a crunch. Wait, it's...
Are Troops and Zaw watching
Arsenal right now?
Oh no.
You yak man.
Can we just see them for a sec?
Uh-oh.
Is the game on?
They're not even watching.
Oh, it hasn't even started.
It's got to be starting soon.
Yeah, maybe right off the get.
That big-ass bottle of Hennessy.
Those men know how to party.
See when the start time for Arsenal is.
I really thought that we were going to be drinking
wine while we painted
tomorrow.
Yeah, but so last Henny Friday
we got Venmos for shots
that I couldn't promise because we ran out of Henny.
So I have to re...
So tomorrow
we're doing Henny Friday slash paint battle
and we're going to have the paint
set up in the middle
and everyone's painting each other
just buy a couple bottles of Borgone
buy some Cote du Rhone
just buy a couple bottles of wine
that we can drink along with the Henny
here's the thing Ron
no
I will give you the head
I'll make with the head
Bring in an alcohol that starts with an H
All I ask
But we're gonna have to remake the fucking meme
And that won't be easy
Fuck
Alright, I'll drink the Henny
It's just gonna be
So we're definitely streaming tomorrow with Tico
Okay
Kate, are you gonna be
Are you on board?
I am
Hell yes
Yeah, we're gonna have to unify
But I also wanna be sharp I wanna be sharp for We're going to have to unify, but I also want to be sharp.
I want to be sharp for that.
You don't have to get drunk off the Henny.
I do have to get drunk off the Henny.
I have to get warm off the Henny.
Warm from the inside.
We can get another H drink.
No, no.
I'll do the Henny.
We should get some breakfast.
That's another H.
Breakfast?
One o'clock?
Hold on.
This is intriguing.
Before the Henny.
Because I feel like I always come in here and I drink on an empty stomach and then I feel like shit.
Brother, you're talking about lunch.
I don't know, man.
I kind of like what he was saying.
Brunch?
Get a diner?
A little pre-act diner action?
Let's go to Lafayette.
I love a diner.
Let's go to Balthazar.
Just us guys and girls.
Treat the people like shit.
Yeah.
I'd go pre-yak diner.
What about Johnny's luncheonette?
I'd go to Feidelberg's tomorrow morning.
Oh, yeah.
What?
Build a giant skeleton.
What?
What aren't you getting?
Why do you have to go?
It's a 12-foot skeleton, right?
On the rundown last week, me and Donnie convinced Feidelberg to buy one of those giant 12-foot
skeletons.
$780.
What?
We promised him we'd help him build it.
As soon as he bought it, the price went down to $300.
Where are you putting it?
So he wants to do it on his little back deck, but I'm going to try to convince him to do it inside.
Ooh.
I think we're going to build it live on KFC Radio YouTube for every—I'm making this up now—
for every one subscriber
they get,
that is a day
Feidelberg will keep it
up in his apartment.
Wow.
Uh-uh.
Yeah.
So he's going to move
out of his apartment
and it'll still be up.
No, he's going to have
to move the skeleton
in his apartment.
Oh my God, dude.
So you'll get
thousands of subscribers
and you'll have to
keep it up for years.
Just hold on.
Listen,
that's the rules.
One to one ratio?
Oh, is that somebody else unboxing it?
That's Brick Thunder, brother.
That's better than spider talk.
Brick Thunder?
Wow.
I've never heard of these.
How tall are they?
12 feet.
In his... That, well, in a New York City apartment will fuck up your life.
That'll seriously interfere with his life.
Fights has 12-foot ceilings.
What?
It's 12-foot ceilings.
Oh, it blinks?
Oh, shit, yeah.
Oh.
That's the exact one he got.
How's he going to get to the top?
I would sleepwalk and fight that thing.
I think you build it top down.
But isn't there going to be some point of the erection that gets a little bit shaky?
Yeah, probably.
What's he doing?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Chill out.
Whoa.
I don't know if that's 12 feet.
What?
That looks like 12 feet, Brandon.
It's every bit of 12 feet.
What would it be?
What else would it be?
That would look like 10 and a half, 11 at best.
Why would they lie about that?
I don't know.
Now outside it looks like 12 feet.
You think it looks bigger outside?
Yeah, kind of.
There's no ceiling.
That was a kid, and he was up at the torso.
You should put it in front of a basketball hoop somewhere.
Oh, yeah.
I'll just have him buy a basketball hoop for his apartment.
Yeah, I think he has to do that too.
If you get 10,000 subscribers, he buys a basketball hoop for his apartment.
Yeah, deal.
Or like 200 or something.
Yeah, we could go lower.
That's going to be sweet.
So no breakfast? I guess not. You guys going to be sweet. So no breakfast?
I guess not.
You guys want to come to Feidelberg's?
I mean, kind of. It seems like a spooky, fun thing to do.
Yeah, come through.
You guys can all come.
He's making French toast?
He'll cook.
Are we going to do anything for Halloween on Monday?
Halloween yak?
Phillies play.
Recording. Browns and Bengals. Is it? On Monday? Halloween Yak? Phillies play. Phillies play.
According to Pat Bev.
Browns and Bengals.
Is it?
Is it getting awkward?
Oh.
They covered it in the fourth quarter last night.
Lakers have not won a game yet.
I knew they were going to cover it in the fourth quarter.
Yeah.
Has LeBron ever started 0-4?
First time in his career ever started 0-4?
First time in his career he started 0-4.
I saw him, like, I saw that video that people were mad about where he was, like, messing around with the guys on the bench when they were down, like, 40 points.
He's having fun.
The memes are very funny, too.
Yeah.
People do not, if your sporting team loses and you're a professional athlete, they do
not want to see you crack a smile, dude.
Yeah.
Russell Westbrook skipped, and they're like, what the fuck is he doing skipping?
He came in dancing, straight-faced dancing, but he was dancing,
and they still didn't like it.
I got this one sent to me the other day, TJ.
You post this one.
The Lakers Laker meme community
is just firing.
Yeah.
And it's the deepest
community in the
United States.
Like it's the deepest
online community
and they're charged up
and they're all 14.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
They are the angriest
people online.
And they're the most
online people.
Yeah.
They're the most
14 year old
14 year olds.
You could look at
any tweet online
and there'll be a tweet under it
being like, LeBron sucks.
It'll have nothing to do with basketball.
When they came up with Westbrook,
it was like a watershed moment.
That's good.
That one made me chuckle.
Their defense is incredible.
The defense they play,
you really have to be able to enjoy their defense.
Are they going to win a game?
This season, probably.
They'll probably win one this season, I guess.
Are you sure?
Can you guarantee a win?
Oh, my God.
What, KP?
This Yakima guy is driving me insane.
He's still on you?
He's saying because saying it from memory like it was pronounced
that way before to you or repeatedly said somehow is an obvious lie how much has yakima been brought
up in discussion for you to have a wrong way of saying it it is clearly someone reading something
and pronouncing it wrong never heard out loud the name of the city but no of yakima washington
that's a huge stretch.
Oh, they're saying you cheated.
Not great.
The cons is the one that came up. Oh, this is awesome.
So you did cheat, right?
Wait, go up to the first response.
Like, how does this all start?
What is that logic?
Oh, he's right.
What is he saying?
You knew.
And pronouncing Yakima, Washington, Yakima as if they've heard it before
and doing a poor job reading the correct pronunciation, Yakima.
I'm going to follow this guy.
It's also a wild explanation.
I live in the Northwest.
That's the first time I've ever heard it.
Yes, because you're from there.
Oh, you cheated.
Are you pissed you got caught, or is it?
Yeah, talk us through your emotions right now.
It's not the cheating, because everyone gets it.
And then he said literally the first time watching the show.
It's the fact that his logic that he can't fathom,
that I would pronounce it Yakima.
No one's ever said it to me.
I'm a speech pathologist.
That's true.
I have my degree in it.
Yeah, you are.
He's pulling out the degree. That's true. I have my degree in it. Yeah, you are.
He's pulling out the degree.
Just walk them through your pathology of pronouncing it like that. I'd like to have the breakfast.
You're still thinking about that French toast?
Yeah.
What are you thinking of?
French toast and sausage?
How much is a waffle maker?
Can we just bring some waffles?
What now?
Any waffles?
I need eggs, bacon, and hot sauce. You we just bring some waffles? What now? Any waffles? I need eggs,
bacon,
and hot sauce.
You're fucking
preaching.
Should we get
Chef Donnie in here?
Yeah,
probably.
Having to chef up
our fucking
breakfast,
breakfast,
breakfast that he
made looked good.
With the spinach
and the sausage?
Because I feel like
the spinach wouldn't
be good except for
that it was sausage.
Like if it was with spinach with bacon, I feel like that wouldn't't be good except for that it was sausage. Like, if it was spinach with bacon,
I feel like that wouldn't have worked,
but the fact that he split those sausages...
That looked super good.
What if I ordered you just a bunch of waffles?
Waffles?
I don't really get waffles for breakfast.
Some Eggos?
What if we just got some Eggos?
Eggos are good.
I haven't had an Eggo in years.
I ate an Eggo every day pretty much.
Really?
For my kids, and I just want a good one for me.
What were the best snacks that came back around for you guys when you became parents that you were like,
damn, I haven't been eating these, but Eggos are it.
Teddy Grahams, too.
Really?
I've been doing a lot of Teddy Grahams.
Cinnamon?
And chocolate.
Oh.
The pouches.
All the fun applesauce flavors, like not just the plain applesauce, but the good ones. Oh. The pouches. All the fun applesauce flavors. Not just the plain applesauce, but the good ones.
Yeah.
Don't those get mold in them a lot and you just don't know?
What?
That's what I thought.
String cheese.
String cheese.
I'm open and they're just nasty.
Oh, no.
I eat a string cheese a day.
Damn.
That's fun.
Jeezy puffs.
I would love to go to your house and just tear up your cabinet.
Yeah, goldfish.
A lot of goldfish.
They kind of age past the good kids' foods.
Really?
This ass doesn't get horny except for Dunkaroos.
You've got to have me.
I would fucking tear you up.
I would tear up that cabinet.
Fucking destroy that cabinet.
Rip through your pantry.
Oh my God.
Have you ever seen Khloe Kardashian's pantry?
No.
You would rip that up.
Have you ever seen Khloe Kardashian's pantry? No. Oh, yeah. They would rip that up. Have you ever seen Khloe Kardashian's pantry?
No.
What's it like?
It's just all, like, children's treats.
It's all from roll-ups.
Khloe Kardashian just has candies and, like,
perfectly organized.
A stack of Oreos.
She probably has an attendant in there,
like a bathroom at a strip club.
I'm like a Labrador.
If there was a big canister of Oreos in front of me,
eat them all.
Yeah, if they made Oreos in a canister,
that might be an invention.
Canister of Oreos, like a big barrel of Oreos.
Fuck them in peanut butter.
Oh, I've never done that.
It feels too dry.
No, no, it's so addicting.
It is incredible.
No, you're right.
It's fucking crack. This isn't realistic no yeah there's no way oh that's her old one her her new shit is crazier there's like a still photo of it whoa uh maybe i think that might be it
i'm an ocd oh i want to see this well You don't say that. No. Yeah, isn't that
the opposite of OCD?
She's saying it wrong.
It triggers my OCD.
Is OCD the most claimed
affliction?
I think people do say I'm an OCD.
ADD? ADHD?
That's like someone saying I'm lactose.
People always say, oh, my OCD doesn't allow me
to do this or something like that. It's the most claimed thing in the world. Holy shit. That's like someone saying, I'm lactose. People always say, oh, my OCD doesn't allow me to do this or something like that.
It's the most lame thing in the world.
Holy shit.
That's just a grocery store.
That's a store.
That's the trajectory of the girls who would write their notes in block letters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I love the salad sauce.
Someone had a good point online saying that it's all like Walmart brand hot sauces.
Like she could have the most exotic and
best sauces in the world, but
instead she has like Ken's and Cholula.
She's just like us.
This looks like...
They stacked the Newtons?
A jar of Oreos.
A jar of Oreos.
And the hard
cook chips are photoshopped.
That all looks fake.
It's like the ESPN cafeteria they have this.
There's like a store where you can just go and –
like it looks almost exactly like that.
And Rosilla once told us that Mack Brown, now coach of North Carolina,
just didn't realize you had to pay for it for like three years.
He would just go and take whatever.
And they never said anything?
They never said anything.
But you don't have to pay for it.
Yeah, I guess –
He was right.
It was like a self-checkout.
He just skipped it every time.
That's kind of like what the kitchen looks like upstairs.
Yeah.
Kitchen upstairs.
They set up a whole presentation.
Yeah.
I go up there every Sunday.
You have all the best snacks up there.
Uh-uh.
Hide all the good stuff.
Oh, Enrique's been locking the snack closet on me.
Every Sunday I go up. Enrique has restored order. Jack Mac made a TikTok exposing what's locking the snack closet on me. Really? Every Sunday I go up.
Enrique has restored order.
Jack Mack made a TikTok exposing what's in the snack closet,
so now he can't go in there anymore.
What?
That motherfucker.
It's the TikTok.
Put it up.
Fucking Jack Mack.
I went in there once and I was-
Try to go in there every Sunday and it's locked.
I need to get the key.
Got everything in there.
You should just tell him that you go in there.
That'd be a real fat guy move to have on my key chain.
No key.
Snack closet.
Ridge wallet.
Oh, speaking of.
Ridge wallet is an ultra slim minimalist wallet.
It holds up to 12 cards plus rooms for cash.
And they also have a new key case in case you want to use a key to the snack closet.
There's room for six keys.
You can have room for multiple keys for
multiple snack closets
across your life. It organizes
your keys in compact silhouette
and it has a fold out for easy access.
Six colors and styles
including carbon fiber and burnt
titanium. Go to Ridge.com and use
code YAK for 10% off your order.
Love it.
Love that shit.
I just can't with these snacks at Barstool.
Like,
we run a day camp here, dude.
Tell me this is a snack room for a professional
office. Why is he doing this?
Worth millions upon millions
upon millions of dollars.
Look at this.
This is snacks for
adults.
What? Look at this, manroll. Like, this is snacks for adults. What?
Look at this, man.
What is this?
What the fuck are these?
What are snacks for adults supposed to be?
What does he want?
What does he eat?
What does he eat?
Is he telling us?
Who is ordering these, man?
But also tell me that you never worked at another office without telling me, dude.
All offices' snack closets are like this.
This is disgusting.
I've worked at other offices, and the snack closet is more robust.
What does he want in there?
Yeah, what does he want?
Kind bars.
Bugs?
Does he want us to get some bugs?
Yeah.
Bugs.
Bugs.
Bugs.
Bugs.
Bugs.
I don't know about what.
He wants bugs.
He obviously wants the fucking crickets in there.
Some rickety fucking crickets.
Probably in this snack closet.
Pull him from it.
Snitching.
I can't believe that.
Should I go stand in this troop stream and just watch them freak out and do nothing?
Yeah.
See, are they live right now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Don't do anything with the TVs.
I'm just going to stand there.
Big cat blood.
It's true blood.
What do you mean? It's true blood.
He's talking about his favorite HBO show.
He's floating right now.
I bet he's three feet from an ant.
I bet he's three plus feet from an ant up there.
There's no way that there's ants that close to him. That's what he's looking at.
He's looking like from way down there, bro.
I'm up here right now.
There he is. This is awesome. You had a nice time. It's true, there bro I'm up here Right now Yeah he is
You understand
This is awesome
You understand
It's true bro
I'm up in here
We're all up in here
Now you're lower tier
Look bludgeon
You're downstairs
I'm upstairs
That's fucked
How we doing man
You man from the yak
Brandon
My brother
That's a real cheat
They gotta be winning
Wow Brandon
That's a real cheat. They got to be winning. Wow, Brandon.
That's a real G, Brandon.
My fucking brother.
That's my fucking G.
All right, that's good.
Okay, let's see how he reacts to Big. That must feel so good for Brandon.
Oh, fuck.
My fucking brother.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Can I help you?
All the TVs working?
Yeah, as you can see.
Working.
Yes.
How we like it?
Had your morning coffee?
Should we turn one off?
Yeah.
Wait, let's blame Big Cat.
Big Cat's going to get killed.
Turn one off, turn one off, turn one off.
I don't trust anyone.
He's pulling up the street.
I don't trust anyone.
I am not getting taken off. Bro, I one off, turn one off. I don't trust anyone. He's pulling up the street. I don't trust anyone. I am not getting taken off.
Just do it.
Bro, I will head, bro.
Big Cat, I swear.
You know I like wrestling, yeah?
Oh, we're going to get him killed.
Yeah.
Dude, I swear.
No, don't hurt your back, Big Cat.
That's all I'm saying.
Bro, your back is broke.
All right.
Maybe not.
But this is fun.
Need one go off?
This might hurt me.
Bro, I swear.
I'm in an RKO position right now.
I'll break my neck
and i'll break my neck right here yes oh he's himself
yeah you look at this evil laugh yeah i'm like watch where he's going no he's gone
no he's funny he's fun he spun the block. Where's he going?
He's up to something.
Nah, I don't think he is.
Look, one's gone.
Shit.
Vinny, get him.
Get him.
Oh, my God.
These fucking motherfuckers.
Every fucking... Iers. Every fucking...
I'm going to fucking swear it down.
Fuck you.
Yeah?
Wait, wait.
Fuck you, blood.
Is there a way we can't lock this fucking door?
Can we not lock them out?
Wait.
Fuck's sake, blood.
Oh! Oh! I walked in and Zod immediately started pulling up the stream on his phone. I know, yeah, we saw that.
What's going on?
Fuck you.
Wait, did you get a snack?
Oh, that's a fruit snack.
That's not candy.
Piece of candy. No, it's not. It's a fruit snack. That's not candy. Piece of candy.
No, it's not.
It's a fruit snack.
It's in the bag.
Did you see Billy getting his hair cut?
Yeah.
By Joey?
Yeah.
Yeah, he tricked Joey into touching him.
Everyone, oh, small panini.
What is that?
Never mind.
Yeah, that's not enough to give away.
Where'd you get that?
Oh, there is.
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's small ass panini. Did they fold it and stack it? Oh, that looks not enough to give away. Where'd you get that? Oh, there is. Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's small-ass panini.
They fold it and stacked it?
Oh, that looks real good.
Small-ass panini.
That looks good.
That's a juicy panini.
You're not going to eat it?
Oh, I would love it.
Here, I'll pass it down.
No, you motherfucker.
Ron, let me get a bite of that, too.
No.
That's good.
That's good.
That looks good.
Sorry, I probably don't need all those carbs and fats anyway. Ron, you could, yeah. No. That's good. That's good. That looks good. Sorry.
I probably don't need all those carbs and fats anyway.
Ron, you could.
Yeah.
What is that?
Buffalo chicken?
Oh, my.
Yo, it's good as fuck.
It's like barbecue chips.
Looks good, yeah.
Yo.
Man, this is.
Jerry did the meanest thing to me yesterday.
I was eating my lunch.
It was a sub.
And there was french fries.
And he just goes, oh, cheat day?
I just threw it out.
Fuck that.
But then you started cooking small fries too.
They were waffle fries for the rest of the day.
And he didn't like that.
Yeah, small fry.
It's all those waffle fries in the trash.
Chick-fil-A's not delivering right now.
What?
I don't know.
It just says closed.
But it's not closed.
Maybe they're just not delivering.
The sandwich is pretty good. You're busy. Have the chips, Brandon. it's not closed. Maybe they're just not delivering. You're busy.
Have the chips, Brandon.
There's an extra delivery at 8 a.m. tomorrow.
Well, then they are closed.
Why don't you get some Popeye's mac and cheese?
Popeye's doesn't have good mac and cheese.
Pass this over Brandon's way.
That is super good.
They have the best mac and cheese.
In the fast food game, I think.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
I'm okay.
Thanks. Goddamn, that was good. I'd fast food game, I think. No thank you. I'm okay, thanks.
God damn, that was good.
I probably end up eating the whole thing in one bite.
I like me.
Thanks, man.
God damn.
I just like one.
If I could get one bite.
But I just said I was going to eat the rest.
Food is so good.
Go ahead, eat the rest.
It is.
That was really good.
And just one bite.
That's all you need.
All you need is one.
There's a place I found called Alberto's.
Alberto's?
Do you think that we've maximized the amount of flavor that we can get out of food?
Yeah.
No.
No.
We're done.
Uh-uh.
It's like colors.
Like going back in time, obviously, flavor probably sucked more.
They had fewer spices and less access to oils and butters that could make shit taste good.
Do you think that we're maxed out on where flavor can go?
Has our constant processing of food gotten us used to flavors that aren't nearly good enough and we settle for less?
Maybe. That might be true.
Very interesting. That might be true. Very interesting.
That might be true.
Will cooking be more flavorful in the future? People didn't have processed food 200 years ago.
Every food they had was probably flavorful
if they had access to spices.
When Dave was introducing his 10X thing,
he said that the rich people are now injecting insulin
and then not eating.
What?
I kind of want to do that.
You can do that?
Is it blocking hunger, though?
Yeah, it blocks hunger. He said that's all he has is eating. Eating and I kind of want to do that. You can do that? Is it blocking hunger, though? Yeah, it blocks hunger.
He said that's all he has is eating.
Eating and betting.
Yeah.
Which I feel.
Is it betting or betting?
Yeah, betting or betting?
Betting.
Yeah, eating is like the-
Like his thread count.
Guaranteed joy on a, by daily basis.
Yeah, it's amazing.
You eat twice a day?
I daily.
So thankful for that.
At least twice.
You're getting-
Why daily?
It is just so good.
Food is so good.
Crazy.
I had some pizza last night.
Oh my God.
If you brought a time traveler around, it might fuck them up how good food tastes.
It is so good.
From the days of gruel, like people who were just eating bowls of gruel.
Yeah.
They'd probably have the same reaction that Jack Mac had to the candy closet.
Yeah.
What is this?
Get it taken away from us.
He's not here yet.
People would probably
ejaculate if they could
taste pizza
from like the fucking
like the gladiators time.
I got two slices last night
and I couldn't even
it would have been
I just wanted them
in my body
as fast as I could.
I was just destroying them.
From the dollar place?
Oh, yeah.
The place next to my apartment.
Two dollars?
Best pizza in New York.
Two dollars?
Knocks himself.
Those dollars.
That's no.
50 cents for a Diet Coke.
No extra?
Was it service charge or anything?
Nope.
Literally, you gave him two dollars.
Two dollars and 50 cents.
Bless you.
Best pizza in the city.
Wow.
And I go and I say, hey, I want it as is.
Don't even heat it up for me.
Do you tip?
You said that's the trick, right?
Yes.
Do you tip?
It's already warm.
Do you tip?
Of course not.
No.
Why?
That's the whole point of the dollar pizza.
They don't even have a tip jar.
Yes, they have to.
You take money out of the tip jar, don't you?
That's how I pay.
There was a pizza review that Dave got accused of that.
He should start doing that.
Millionaires who commit petty crimes like Winona Ryder are serious.
It's just purely for the thrill.
Or Robert Durst.
He was like a multi-multi-millionaire and just would like pee on the fucking Snickers bars at CVS.
Yeah.
I'm going to restart.
Wasn't he also like killing people?
Yeah.
Starting your entire phone because Chick-fil-A's closed?
I'm going to see if this is a problem.
You know, you could just cancel out of the app and reopen.
I'm just going to start the whole phone over and see if it restarts Chick-fil-A.
Redownload it.
Why don't you get Popeye's?
Popeye's is so much better than Chick-fil-A.
Axe.
Let's get the fish sandwiches from Popeye's.
Oh, because the sweet tea from Chick-fil-A changes the game.
And that's why I get it.
So I can get the sweet tea.
Popeye's doesn't have the same sweet tea.
We got to start doing more with bread.
Because they can.
What do you mean?
I found this place that has pesto flavored whole wheat bread.
And it makes the sandwich.
What?
Just two knocks.
Two points better.
You ever had like an olive sourdough? Yeah. Come on. Come on. Makes the sandwich just two points better.
You ever had an olive sourdough?
Yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
So good.
Buddy.
We talked about it yesterday when Joey was on,
but they have this steak that is only fed olives through its entire life,
and so it tastes like olive in the meat.
Whoa.
Olives are my favorite food.
How do you know the cow doesn't eat something else?
How does a cow sustain just eating olives?
Probably diet.
That's probably how they die.
All they ever had was olives.
They're malnourished.
Are they in a pasture?
I mean, they could reach down and get grass whenever they want it.
Couldn't you just marinate it in olive?
I mean, I'm not the steak sommelier.
That's a little weird for the one time someone's been like, I'm going to get the olive steak.
Yeah, that doesn't even sound good.
Let's feed this cow only olives.
I think you'd enjoy it.
I would like the trash steak.
Yeah.
Cow that only eats New York's pork. That's pork.
So me and Kyle went to a bar in southern Indiana or Illinois.
Chick-fil-A is still closed.
And they have a pig roaming the bar.
Oh, yeah, Illinois.
And it just eats cigarette butts.
Oh, yeah.
Guys, there's a pig roast of that pig, and you eat it.
So it's smoked.
Yeah.
It's smoked.
From the inside.
That's great.
That's nice.
You can really taste the Marlboro.
I am going to get a Popeye's chicken sandwich, Sass.
There you go, buddy.
The mac and cheese.
The mac and cheese.
It's good.
They had the best.
They had a good rice and beans there, too.
They had the dirty rice, and they got rid of it.
They got rid of their dirty rice?
Yes.
They did?
Yes.
Why?
Are you going to get a biscuit?
Get a couple biscuits for the boys.
Get some biscuits.
Get a few biscuits.
Is that beans and rice?
Remember when you were pregnant, we were doing Morning Sunshine?
You always got me a biscuit. I always got her a biscuit. Always got me a biscuit. Oh, that's nice. Is that beans and rice? Remember when you were pregnant, we were doing Morning Sunshine? You always got me a biscuit.
I always got her a biscuit.
Oh, that's nice.
What happened to that show?
Nobody watched it.
No sponsorship.
I love that show.
The opposite of wrestling.
I love that show.
How is it the opposite?
I think the same thing happened to both of them.
Literally the same thing keeps happening.
People watch wrestling.
It's not the opposite, though.
It's like they have a lot of overlap.
There were videos in January and February that went over 100,000 views.
How many of them without MJF?
Five.
Of the six?
Damn.
Damn.
Wow.
So you don't even need MJF.
I do need him pretty desperately.
I have a buddy who's a big wrestling fan.
He was talking about that show.
Holy shit.
No way.
He's got a big wrestling back.
I agree. Who was it? Robbie?. Holy shit. No way. He's got to bring wrestling back. I agree.
Who was it? Robbie?
Lemaire. Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Lemaire likes wrestling?
He's a huge wrestling fan.
Is he a fan of Brandon's show?
His name is Lemaire?
What ethnicity is that?
He's black.
A black wrestling fan?
His name's Lemaire.
Huge wrestling fan. His name's Lumiere. Huge wrestling fan.
His name's Lumiere.
He's a candlestick.
When I was checking into his dad's apartment,
there was a guy and he recognized me and only me from wrestling.
And that's all he thought I did.
Black man as well.
There's also a black man.
Do well with the...
fans. Yeah, totally. Do well with the... fans.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, totally.
That's cool.
I'm hoping to get my teeth chipped.
TJ, you want to spin that wheel?
Hell yeah.
Spin it.
Kyle, I'm going to try the mac and cheese
just because you're so adamant.
You do, yeah.
What do we got coming up?
What do we got to plug?
This weekend, Saturday.
Oh, big Saturday for...
Big Saturday, 10 a.m.
Rohn will be there.
Rohn will be there, Teak.
And then we're going to Michigan, Michigan State.
Oh, no, TKE?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, brother.
That's going to be fucking sick.
Not the same house we were at last time?
Sass rushed TKE when he was up there.
Oh, yeah.
They have this thing where everybody eats live goldfish.
They have this basin in their basement of all these live goldfish.
People just eat them live.
Whoa.
Yeah, so it should be pretty fucking sick.
Yeah, very excited.
So everyone come out if you're in State College or Ann Arbor.
Come see us.
It's going to be a great time.
I'll get the mashed potatoes, too.
Also, tickets to the Dozen in New York are on sale now.
Tickets to the Dozen.
When is that?
When is that?
Tuesday, November 8th.
Okay.
Someone's going to have to remind me about that because that's definitely one of those
days I could just go home and forget.
Yep.
Yep.
So, Steven's going to have to be on top of that.
That's a good logo.
What game are we playing?
First? I don't think he's of that. That's a good logo. What game are we playing? First?
I don't think he's decided that yet.
I have no idea.
Gib's on first.
You're usually last.
Gib's on first.
How could it be last?
Looks first.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
You guys all always go last.
Brandon, do you not want to go last?
It looks like you do.
I'll go first.
Second.
Or third.
Remember when you said trivia is not an indicator of smartness?
Facts.
I think that Francis didn't do great on his first trivia,
and he's obviously a smart guy,
especially judging his Fox News appearance last night,
which was very funny.
Awesome.
So good.
He nailed it.
Lots of jokes.
A lot of funny jokes in there.
He was on it again?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
You would have been fucking laughing, KB.
Oh, you would have laughed.
If you ever see it,
but you probably won't ever catch it.
Probably be impossible to find now.
Maybe.
Kyle, you got that Twitter guy.
He's in your head, isn't he?
Yeah.
Yakima.
I mean, you cheated.
I said I cheated,
and now the guy's coming to me.
I said you cheated.
Oh, Khan said you didn't cheat, and nobody's cheated on that show.
None of you guys cheated.
I concede, I guess.
Oh, no.
This guy has ruined you.
It was that guy's first dozen match he's ever watched,
and it happened to have his city as one of the answers.
And Kyle cheated on it?
Yeah.
What are the odds?
What the hell with him?
Well, the odds aren't that crazy because Kyle does cheat every episode.
Sure.
You guys and Frank is going to be dope, though.
Playing together.
How's your guys' team chemistry now?
We're good. back on top i think
so good yeah sure yeah who you playing against chicago that'd be easy were you no they're
dangerous uh honkers that's right who honkers died when coley left so not worried about them
who do you guys play i don't know know. Titus and Smock. Jack.
And Donnie.
And Jack and Smock are on tonight.
I can't wait for that shit.
That shit's going to be explosive.
Who do you guys like in Thursday night football tonight?
I don't know.
I fear this game.
The Bucs.
No.
You fear the game?
Why?
Because everything about it says the Bucs,
but the Bucs have been just so trash, I can't bet on them.
Steven's down there to fix them.
But I feel like that might be even more of a reason to not bet on the Bucs.
You think you heard him? I can see Tom Brady retiring before the game.
He sees Steven.
He's like, fuck this, man.
I've got to get back to my wife.
Things aren't that bad.
He does have like a full get out of jail free if he retired at any point in the season.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's going to be a dad again.
Bad.
See him officially in Tampa to turn the Bucs season around.
Ugh.
Look at his face.
Why is he at the stadium already?
The fucking game's at... Yeah.
He's got to get there early.
He's got to warm up.
Just in case.
Definitely getting less Asian was one of the comments.
That's good eyesight from you.
Yeah, I couldn't read that.
It's a long way away.
I have great eyesight.
Damn.
Or my only strength. You should be a pilot. I should. Yeah. Being a't read that. It's a long way away. I have great eyesight. Damn. I'm my only strength.
You should be a pilot.
I should.
Yeah.
Being a pilot would suck.
I think it'd be awesome.
Going on a plane sucks.
Not if you're the pilot.
Yeah.
Walking to the airport in a pilot uniform would be the best feeling.
Just walk on a plane and you get to, yeah.
You have so much pressure.
Actual, like, those seats aren't even comfortable.
You don't know that.
But they're autopilot.
They definitely are.
Once they're up in the air, they can just, like, read a book. They don't do shit. Even when they're up in the't know that. They're autopilot. Once they're up in the air, they can read a book.
They don't do shit.
Even when they're up in the air, right?
They're autopilot.
Does it take off for them as well?
Pretty much, I think.
Look how bad turbulence must suck.
They just have to hold on tight.
Turbulence definitely does not suck for them.
They're at the front of the plane.
They probably don't feel it.
They know it's coming.
They see it coming like a wave.
Here it comes.
I just listened to a podcast all about that.
Speaking of Yakima, the guy who stole the plane up there.
Remember that?
Oh, yeah.
He went and like, that's still so crazy to me.
He didn't steal.
He did.
He did.
Did he kill her?
No, a different guy.
Oh, no.
He stole an Alaskan airline plane?
Like a legit airliner.
Oh, the guy from a few years ago. And he legit did a barrel roll.
We watched it on here, I think.
He killed himself? Yeah.
I want to say it happened again
very recently. Really?
It happened in Mississippi. Like a couple weeks ago.
Yeah. Because the guy was suicidal
and he was apologizing for stealing
the plane. I think he, did it ever take off?
No, he landed. he landed yeah yeah yeah
that one was he didn't die but was that guy a pilot though i don't know what he was this guy
was like uh just one of the guys who holds the cones yeah and who had never flown before ever
it's pretty impressive in there and figured it out yeah that he could take off successfully yeah
zod definitely could well afterwards some of the pilots like, we did talk to that guy a few months ago.
He was up in the cockpit just asking me questions
about some of the stuff I was telling him.
Like, yeah.
Oh, damn.
And yeah, it turned out in hindsight,
maybe we shouldn't have told him.
I was just curious.
Is there a video of him doing a barrel roll?
Yes.
They have the video of him doing the barrel roll?
Yes.
Oh, man.
It's pretty dark.
Yeah, it's pretty dark.
He could kill himself, right?
But he seems like he had fun.
He does, then it turns for the worst in the last
ten minutes. Why? What does he say?
He starts crying. Okay, he decides to die
or he just died because he didn't know how to land it?
No, he was going to kill himself. That was the plan.
He's like,
I think I'm just a guy who lost
a few screws along the way.
Yeah, it gets pretty depressing. I guess this is where we're at. guy who lost a few screws along the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets pretty depressing.
But he's
having a lovely time in the beginning talking to the
air grab crew. He's like, I think
I'm going to do a barrel roll. And they're like, maybe
don't. He's like, no, I think I'm going to do it. They're like, maybe
don't. And then you just see the video
of the plane doing a full loop
in the sky. It's crazy. I kind of want to see it.
It is slow. You don't see
the crash or anything like that. I don't think it's a... That's a loop. That's not a barrel roll. So it's more. I kind of want to see it. It is slow. You don't see the crash or anything like that.
I don't think it's a...
That's a loop.
That's not a barrel roll.
So it's more of a loop-de-de-loop.
He did a loop.
Did you say a loop-de-de-loop?
Loop-de-de-loop.
A barrel roll would be...
Is that a loop-de-loop or a loop-de-de-loop?
Loop-de-de-loop.
He does a whole loop-de-de-loop.
It's a contest.
The first person to hear loop-de-loop in the wild wins.
Whoa.
Well, I mean...
In my house, I hear a lot. We should have said this on air. I wins? Whoa. Well, I mean, my house.
We should have said this all fair.
I'm going to Six Flags.
I say loop-diddy-loop, though.
I know people say it,
but when are people saying it?
Just any time you're racing cars
or something. Loop-de-de-loop?
If you have a Hot Wheel track.
Hot Wheel track.
Is that in the wild?
Yeah. Okay, just find a Hot Wheel track. If the wild. That would be a... Is that in the wild? Yeah.
Okay.
Just find a Hot Wheel Track.
If the wild is my house, I'll win tonight.
You're going to hear loop-de-de-loop tonight?
It's a guarantee.
Your house isn't the wild.
I'll stop at Target.
I'll get a race car set.
We'll set it up.
Well, you can't play.
Who's going to say loop-de-de-loop?
Not diddy-loop.
That's too many syllables.
Loop-de-loop?
Yes.
Loop-de-loop.
You think that's a guarantee?
That's a guarantee. I can make them. Yeah, I can get loop-de-de-loop. You can make them. That's putting your syllables. Loop-de-loop? Yes. Loop-de-loop. You think that's a guarantee? That's a guarantee.
I can make them.
Yeah, I can get loop-de-loop.
You can make them.
That's putting your thumb on the scale.
Yeah, you can't be like, what is this?
I think you could.
So they're going to say loop-de-loop?
Oh, yeah.
You're going to say, what is this?
And they're going to say loop-de-loop.
I think so.
Huh.
Not loop-diddy-loop.
Ronan invented his own word.
People say loop-diddy-loop.
I found out last night that it's Waluigi and not
Waluigi. Yeah, it's Waluigi.
I always thought it was Waluigi, not
Waluigi. Why would you think that? Why did they come up with the
evil version just being Wa?
Because Wario. Right, but why
would Waluigi be a...
Why wouldn't it be Waluigi?
Waluigi.
Why wouldn't it be Waluigi?
I think Walugee sounds way better.
Wally-gee is way better.
No, but it's Mario and Wario.
Why do they keep the Wa for the evil Luigi, is what I'm asking.
I don't know.
He's right.
It should be Woo-ee-gee.
Yeah.
It should be Woo-ee-gee.
Woo-ee-gee, if you're just changing one letter.
He's an awful character.
He sucks.
Why?
I don't like him.
He doesn't need...
I mean, he already got Bowser. He got enough
evil in there. I know. Wario is the best.
Wario rules.
I've always been more of a
toad guy myself. It's Mario
Kart. I'm Yoshi. Or Mario Party.
I'm DK. I'm a
big guy, too. I'm either Bowser or DK.
Why? I'm DK. What? I'm not the big guy.
No. I want the strength.
You guys ever play Smash? Oh, yeah. I try with my kids big guy. No. I want the strength. You guys ever play Smash?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I try with my kids.
I can't.
It's too fast.
So fun.
Too fast.
On the Switch?
Yes.
So fun.
There's no rhyme or reason to the box.
Just go with Kirby.
Go easy.
Go with Kirby.
Whatever.
It's just everywhere.
It is.
Were we watching a barrel roll?
Is that going to happen or no? I don't know if they could chill. I don't know if we should watch a barrel roll? Is that going to happen or no?
I don't know if they could chill.
I don't know if we should watch a barrel roll.
Sorry, yeah, never mind.
Did we spin the wheel?
No, we haven't.
Freaking TJ, I guess, is in charge of whether we watch people.
I don't know if you boys can handle it.
Sorry.
We're good.
We haven't had Clem around for a while.
That's funny.
Oh, with his nails? He still has them on? What? He still has them on? We're good. We haven't had Clem around for a week. That's funny.
With his nails?
He still has them on?
What?
He still has them on?
Yeah.
We had them on for a minute on Monday.
Just to show him.
You can take him off today.
He can take him off today, but he's not going to. He doesn't.
He said he was going to take him off tomorrow.
He's a man of his word.
And honestly honestly I've
I've listened to him
walking around the
office like holding
his laptop going
correct correct correct
like he is that
joy.
Yeah.
He's her already
Buscemi and
yeah.
Happy Gilmore.
Yes.
Billy Madison.
Yes.
We should make him
wear lipstick.
He's not wearing lipstick.
Why am I glad I got that guy?
We could tell him we could come on the show if he wears lipstick.
Can you guys remind me what we're doing tomorrow as far as the painting?
We have a paint battle.
We have easels.
We have paint.
We have everything set up.
It's fun.
You're paired up with someone.
I think you're paired up with Stephen Che. you're paired up with steven che steven
che tj and i shake coming back yes sass and brandon kb and za kate and nick and you have 20 minutes
and you have to paint the other person so it'll be out in the middle basically you're going up
against each other and you have to paint the person nude.
And I feel like it'd be or would it be better
if you couldn't see the other person
as they're painting?
Definitely.
Face to face.
Face to face.
I don't think I need to see.
I think I already know
what all you guys look like.
But you're curious though.
No, I think I need to see.
Yeah.
I think I need to see.
I'm pretty easily paintable.
You think so?
I'm three things.
Glasses, hat, beard.
Yeah. You're like a logo. Like the Gregory Coffee logo. You think so? I'm three things Glasses, hat, beard Yeah
You're like a logo
You're like the Gregory Coffee logo
Don't reply to that guy, KB
Don't do it
Don't reply to him
Is it in the DMs right now, Kyle?
No, you're in the DMs
He's got something pulled up
He's got something pulled up
What are you doing?
I'm being mature
I'm not going to publicly embarrass myself
I'm just doing it in the DMs
What did you tell him?
Talking it out.
Talking it out.
The guy seems unhinged.
Like, boy.
What's his pro?
What's his whole deal?
What are his pronouns?
Yeah.
I thought that's where you were going.
Yeah.
Pronouns.
This guy's just ripping you up mentally.
He is, yeah.
Joey is. Joey Packington. He is, yeah. Joey is.
Joey Packington.
I'm not above that.
Whoa!
Ooh.
Wow, the Spanx does, it is slimming for everyone.
Yeah.
Did he stuff his jock, though?
I do have right.
Yeah, I do.
There's a 50-first-50 chance I'm getting sick right now,
and I'm not feeling good about it
That sucks
Where's it going wrong?
I don't know, I just feel weird
Oh no
Fever, that usually means fever
Ah, shit
But it's not COVID
Guess what, I'll fucking power through, bro
See you tomorrow
I'm gonna fucking go crazy.
Nothing a couple shots of Henny couldn't solve.
Then get on a plane and go to Penn State
and then get on a plane and go to Michigan.
Get on a plane and come to New York
and then wake up and come to the office
to stream all day.
Yeah.
I can't believe I'm saying this.
You need paid more.
Shit.
Bryce Harper.
And they need a 10x my pay. Yeah Harper. And they needed 10x my pay.
Yeah.
That would be.
10x.
Why did we start 10x?
It was like right around now last year.
It was right before.
It was right before the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
And what was our goals?
10x.
10x.
It was when that video came out with the little girl.
Yeah, his daughter who's like, at 10 you're stuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not really a kid and you're also not an adult.
No, you're a kid and it's still a kid.
Very much a kid.
That was so funny.
Probably the most kid.
You say that, you're not.
Yeah.
Pull it up.
You're in that gray area.
She's like, you want to work. Then the whole crowd does 10X. Yeah, you pull it up. You pull it up. You're in that gray area. I think you ought to work.
But then the whole crowd does 10x.
Yeah, they're like, I'm excited to work.
Half of you's playing with Barbie, the other foot's in the grave.
Yeah.
I think that's exactly what she said.
I think it's like word for word.
I watched it yesterday when Dave...
I mean, unreal that he just...
But that is the privilege of having a ton of money.
Yeah.
And that's why people who have a lot of money get targeted by, like, the slickest salespeople in the world.
Yeah.
Like, oh, we're going to sell you a red light bed.
And take some vitamins and you'll feel better.
He will feel better, again.
Oh, of course.
That red light shit, I mean.
I mean, placebo definitely does work
because it probably reduces your stress levels,
which is like the reason that everyone is so unhealthy.
You stressed?
A little bit here and there.
Look at his hair.
I don't get stressed.
I never get stressed.
That's good.
Too blessed to be stressed.
That's true.
There she is.
Oh, God.
No one is better suited than a 10-year-old to talk to you about 10X.
And let's face it, I'm the only 10-year-old here.
Damn.
You get shit on their old asses.
Guys, for just a second, I want you to remember when you were 10.
Her posture, dude. And remember when you were 10. Look inside my eye.
And remember when you were 10 years old.
Think about it and be 10 again.
You were about this tall or maybe this tall and kind of short.
Or maybe even shorter than me.
But remember.
Remember how much energy you had.
Oh, one guy. 10-year-olds. Remember how happy energy you had. Oh, what? Remember?
I'm one guy.
10-year-olds.
Remember how happy you were.
Remember how positive and hopeful you were.
So true.
That girl's probably 10 as well. I didn't have Nike's until I was 13.
I'm 10.
I feel so uncomfortable.
I know.
I'm ready to grow up and not be treated like a little kid.
Because, you know, people don't listen to you. They talk about I'm ready to grow up and not be treated like a little kid. Because, you know,
people don't listen to you.
They talk about you,
not to you.
Tam.
He needs to shut up.
There's a bar.
I was in a mall
and someone told my dad.
Six minutes long?
We had an entire conversation
that went on
for like five minutes.
I mean,
thanks for thinking I'm pretty.
Wait, what? This is super
weird. Old came up and
said, this bitch sucks.
Wait, what?
That is bad. Oh, keep going.
Oh, God. Keep going.
I can't watch that whole thing.
I feel healthier now. I don't feel like I'm getting sick
anymore.
Hey, brother, I'm happy that guy came up and said your daughter was
hot. You're stuck.
Yeah, here it is. You're not really a kid.
And you're not really an adult.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
I can't wait to work.
I can't wait to really work.
To have a job.
To have responsibility. To be treated like an adult.
Look, you know, I'm happy when I work.
Aren't you?
This is crazy.
Give me one gym class dodgeball game.
Right.
A little messy backyard.
Fuck, dude.
Holy shit. Water balloon fight right now? That was terrible. Holy fuck. A little messy backyard. Fuck, dude.
Water balloon fight right now.
That was terrible.
That was way worse than I remember it being.
I don't remember that intro.
That was garbage.
There was like a TikTok version of it, I think.
Like an IG, like less than a minute version.
Not the whole crap.
Not Madison Square Garden wrapped around her finger.
What the fuck was that guy who went up to his dad and was like your daughter's hot?
Then the other guy came up to like congratulate
him that someone had that conversation.
She like didn't even, that was
just in there. She didn't even mention it after
that. That was all that held.
A tenure stuck.
You're not really a kid. You're not really an adult.
His like, her
Sigma male ass dad.
She's going to watch that back
when she's 25
and be like,
fuck.
She's going to have it removed.
Yeah, her therapy
is from the internet.
Imagine being in her class
and seeing that.
Yeah.
Imagine having her in your class
and her being like,
oh my God.
You daydream too much.
Yeah.
Like, why don't you do something with your life? Your shirt's covered in Elmer glue. her being like, you daydream too much.
Why don't you do something with your life?
Your shirt's covered in Elmer glue.
Make something with your life.
You're chewing on your windowsill.
Did you say Yakima? Yakima?
Oh no.
Can't get him off of me.
KB obviously cheated.
He doesn't know the meaning of having a job.
She's an industry plant, dude.
She's trying to indoctrinate people into loving the job.
Yeah, working.
Don't you feel good when you work?
Shouldn't the minimum wage be lower?
Yeah.
What the fuck are you talking about?
It's actually a privilege to work.
We should pay them.
Oh, man.
Jesus.
Isn't Bezos kind of right?
Why would you want to take a piss break at work?
Yeah.
It's less work.
All right.
Anything else?
I just ordered some sushi.
Is that Popeye's coming?
Popeye's is on its way.
KB, what are you about to eat, bro?
Are you fasting?
Oh, go get it.
Let me get some biscuits.
Just give me a quick review.
Get some biscuits.
Come on, get some biscuits.
Why are you smiling?
Did you not get us biscuits?
You didn't get the mac and cheese?
What?
I changed to mashed potatoes.
Can we get some biscuits?
I only have one biscuit.
Why didn't you order more biscuits?
We asked you for biscuits.
I didn't think we were going to show
when I got food here.
We asked for more biscuits.
Go eat it in front of us.
And bring it back in here, Brandon.
Let us have a little biscuits.
I gave you some of my lunch.
Let us nibble your biscuits.
Let me have your biscuit.
What do you say now?
Here, pass me his phone.
I'll order some more. Nick, pass me his phone. I'll order some more.
Yeah.
Nick, pass me his phone.
I'll order some more.
Yeah.
Just smash reorder.
I'm just going to smash reorder real quick.
Arsenal's down 2-0.
Oh, no.
No blood.
What do we think Brandon's code is?
0-0-0-0.
5-5-5-5-5.
Brandon, you barely touched your panini.
There's no biscuits. They didn't give you biscuits?
How many times before I get locked out of your phone?
Ron, you go in and just stand there.
Stand there.
Go in there still.
Can we change the channel instead of turning off?
Can we put on the yak in there?
Stand in the gambling cave.
Can?
No, no, they already know.
Brandon, let me have a biscuit.
I didn't get any.
Oh, fuck.
Is Arsenal about to get eliminated?
Oh, no.
That's. Oh, I'm fucking. This is? Oh, no. Yeah.
Bro, I'm fucking... This is fucking embarrassing, yeah?
Yeah.
I don't care.
I don't care letting him miss next match.
It don't matter.
You're a fucking play idiot.
He doesn't know he'll win.
No, he's out now for the next match.
Because he got it.
In the Europa.
But we don't care about that.
So he's missing Zurich.
Blow up.
I could play against Zurich and we'll win.
It's cool.
Yeah. missing Zurich. I could better get Zurich and we'll win. It's cool.
Bad vibes.
Big man.
Big man.
Absolute dog shit, bro.
Ron took a detour.
Eddie, I'm your guy. I'm on record always defending you, but even I can't
say nothing to that.
How can you...
Yeah, you cannot
defend him, bro.
That's his walk.
You've been going.
You've had a free reign.
Because the whole time
you defended this, that.
Give him game time.
Chances.
This, that.
He don't get chances.
Bro, that was your chance.
Right there.
On a fucking plate, mate.
Yeah?
On a plate.
It's like I said to you, here's Kim K.
Her panties are off.
She's bent over.
Just put a condom on and fuck her.
That's all you need to do.
Put a condom on and fuck her.
What do you do?
What do you do?
You know what he does?
You know what he does?
He calls Pete fucking Davidson.
That's what he fucking does.
He calls fucking Steep, mate.
Yeah?
Fucking Eddie and Ketchum.
Back to that.
Absolute dog shit, bro.
Back to that metaphor.
It's because of people like him.
Why he's in the fucking car.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah?
We're going to talk facts.
Roach is sitting there.
He's the one defending him.
He wanted him down a new contract
Turn one off
Turn one off
Can you turn one off
Can you turn them all off
I want Roan to die
Oh my god
All off at once
I want Roan to die
Turn like two off
Does Roan stay stoic
Or does he run if that happens
Oh this is going to be so bad
He's going to do the big eyes
This is going to be so bad
Every game they fucking show me when they play.
I'll go fucking out anyway.
Great John, bro.
I'll go fucking out anyway.
What is he chewing?
I know.
Motherfucker, just go sideways.
Have you turned you off?
You gave him the biscuit, didn't you?
Turn another one off.
All of them.
You'll see girls in front of him.
He's fucking my father.
Oh, Ron's going to get killed.
He ain't going forward.
I'm telling you.
Fucking hold it.
All these men.
All right.
He's here.
He's here.
It's happening again.
Shout out to Pat.
Shout out, Ro.
Check out the Pat Bev podcast, by the way. Oh, they're not even.
See, when they get celebs on pods, Ro's the only one to do it, black.
You know what I'm saying?
Facts, bro. That's my bro. You understand, you know what I'm saying? Facts, bro.
That's my bro,
you know what I'm saying?
Philly in the cup.
Fuck you mean, bro.
Oh, fuck.
It's Dak Byron.
Oh, no.
Fucking Roan.
Bullshit.
It's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
What?
They don't play until Boots.
You know what I'm saying?
Boots.
Yeah, bro.
He's coming back on.
They're not Europeans, bro.
What the fuck you mean?
You also see he got
He was top 15 battle rappers
Which of course bro
I mean they know that already
Jesus
They know that already
Make sure that
Forget it
Fuck this
I didn't watch
Yeah this is totally backfired
Makes me hate bro
Bro what do you mean
They gonna do it
Are you crazy bro
You gonna let them do us like that
When we're picking you up like this
You see that
Three TVs
Put the TVs back on
The second that you
Tell them
Put the TVs back on.
Oh, man.
We're having Henny Friday tomorrow on the app.
If you guys want to come...
Henny Friday.
Henny Friday.
Bro, I'm flying out tomorrow.
Oh, fuck.
I'm going to fly till 7 a.m., bro.
We'll kick some Henny back for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do some Henny for me.
Turn the TVs back on.
Make sure you do some Henny for me tomorrow, you know?
Don't aye-aye-aye-aye.
He will.
He will.
Yeah?
Bro?
You know.
That's totally backfired.
We're going to turn this shit around.
We're going to turn it around.
Brandon, great lunch.
You didn't share with anyone.
It looks so good.
Fuck.
It's a chicken sandwich.
It could have gone in for all of us.
I'm sorry.
We asked for biscuits.
We asked for biscuits.
I gave my lunch to everyone.
That backfired.
Yeah.
He just loves you.
Yeah, what the? We thought he was going to get mad at you
when we started turning off TVs.
They diffused it, dude. They diffused it so much.
They were so nice. I love those guys so much.
I'm not the one to be able to mess
with them. Brandon's such a selfish
prick. You got some biscuits?
No biscuits. Why? He didn't order anything
from anyone. That's all we talked about.
Why didn't you do that?
Look how much that Apple Snapchat Steve's eating.
I think he's eating the core.
Oh, my God.
He's eating the core.
He's been going back and forth.
Sheesh.
You fucked us, Brandon.
He ate the core?
Brandon, you fucked us.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I got your biscuits.
You're not sorry.
You could have just hit order.
Oh.
What'd you say?
Oh, no. Mitch Trubisky. Something's happening. Oh, have just hit order. Oh. What'd you say? Oh, no.
Mitch Trubisky.
Something's happening right now.
Oh, no.
It's been in development.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
What?
He's got the.
He's got the.
Why are you on me?
Why are you on me?
Oh, there we go.
Yes.
I just said how it backfired.
No.
What the fuck?
I just said how it backfired.
What'd he do?
What'd he do?
He wanted you to come in for any reason.
Oh, no.
Yep. Yep. I said, what are did he do? What did he do? He wanted you to come in for Henny. Oh, yeah. No, no.
Yep.
I said, what are you talking about?
What do you do?
What do you do?
There we go.
I want your fucking TV.
Slow burn.
They turn them off.
They turn them off.
I told him to turn the TV off.
I told him to turn it back on.
I'm not talking about TV. I'm talking about Henny.
Turn him off.
No, I didn't do it.
You got to turn him back on.
Not even you. Not even you. Wait until he gets back. I told you guys to talking about Eddie Bryant. Turn him off. No, I didn't do it. You got to turn him off. Not even you.
Not even you.
Wait until he gets back.
I told you guys to turn him back on.
Now Troops is mad at me.
Look at that.
Okay, but turn him back off.
Look at that.
That was a nice delay.
Should we turn him back off?
I don't know.
I don't.
No, turn him on.
Turn him on.
All right, turn him on.
He almost bottled me.
I didn't even know that was a delay.
I was like, why is he coming back in here?
He's going to bottle me with the fucking
Henny. The half
empty bottle. One of the most
selfish people. When you walk into the
air in there smells so thick
with Henny.
Henny Friday. God damn. He went
quay for a petty ting.
Really was a petty ting. Really was a petty ting.
The game is already wrapped.
Can I buy lunch tomorrow?
No, you're so selfish.
I'm done with you.
I'm done with you.
Done with you.
So easy to just hit extra.
Hernando's would be peak.
It's too late.
Biscuits.
No, no, no.
It's too late. It's too late. It's too late. Biscuits. No, no, no. It's too late.
It's too late.
It's too late.
I don't want any.
How many biscuits do you want?
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
I wanted to eat with you, man.
Some cookies?
Some hard cookies?
He was trying to break bread.
He was trying to break bread with the boys.
Break biscuits with the boys.
Don't try and fix this with hard cookies.
That's what the Marriage Story movie was about.
That was Jack Mack. Hey, Jack. Jack Mack. Jack. Real quick. What's what the marriage story movie was about. That was Jack Mack.
Hey, Jack.
Jack Mack.
Real quick.
What's your fucking problem?
What's your problem?
I don't need to.
What's your problem with me?
Yeah.
That was probably an aggressive
way to start that conversation.
What?
You.
Wait.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Because you.
What's up?
Blew up our spot with the snack
closet.
What do you mean blew up the spot?
It gets locked now.
Locked now.
That's been happening left and right for the past two to three years.
Now you guys are throwing me under the bus for something I did not do.
I'm fine with that.
More so, what was your issue with the snacks?
What was my issue?
They were just like childish.
Why are we talking like that?
Kyle's talking like that long-haired blonde kid that stormed out of the classroom.
These kids need to learn. what's in the package.
Kyle just took that on.
Also, the snack closet gets locked randomly.
It's been happening for two years, so blaming me is wrong.
What adult snacks do you want us to have?
The Bugs?
You want Bugs?
You want the Bugs?
Yeah, you do.
You probably stack them up with bugs.
Next time I'm going to go up there.
I want Dunkaroos.
I mean, look it.
You're telling me you guys are having the push pops?
No.
That's a stretch.
I want what I did not have.
Push pops was a little out of control.
Yeah, that's all I was saying.
No, you were coming after the sour gummies.
No, I like sour gummies.
Okay, so just the push pops.
Push pops.
It was just very childish, And it wasn't my fault.
So people saying I fucked up the snack closet.
Snack closet randomly gets locked.
I don't know who's doing it.
Enrique.
Enrique.
Enrique.
It's not Enrique.
I think randomly the cleaning people do it.
Well, they don't mean to do it.
I think that's.
Is there no barbers?
I think they do it by accident.
Okay.
One walked in on me shitting.
Okay, fine.
The story kept... Which means you didn't lock the door.
No, no, no.
Walked in on...
It was upstairs.
Walked into the stall.
Opened the stall up.
I was dual-wielding a crossword,
so nothing was covering.
I just asked Enrique.
He doesn't lock it.
He walks in on the stall.
She was so apologetic.
She lociented you?
Why could she open the door?
Why didn't you lock the stall door?
I'm trying to think.
By accident?
I would.
What did you mean dual wielding a crossword?
Both hands on the phone.
Okay.
Tight, faster, so nothing covered.
I wasn't like, couldn't be like this.
You weren't taking your hands off the crossword.
There's something a lot less shameful about it happening with someone who doesn't speak English.
Less shameful?
Well, that's because you're xenophobic.
No, it's like I know...
Because you think of her as less than.
Now I know I couldn't hypothetically ever hear her
like talking shit on my...
Adios mio grande bene.
Yeah, like that's...
I would be fine with that.
Ignorance is bliss.
Yeah.
Oh my God, big dick.
Is what I said.
Would you have liked to hear that?
Remember McAfee antivirus guy had some
fallen ladies that would piss on him?
Yeah, shit on him through a hammock, right?
Through a hammock hole.
Kind of a cool move.
And his ex-wife claimed he's still alive
yeah
ex-wives but like it's the ex-men
though and it's like they all have
superpowers but it's all women and wives
what about that
have you ever considered that maybe
Brandon do you have
unnecessary roughness to do
I can always tell you get the look Brandon, do you have unnecessary roughness to do? I do. All right. I got to do the rundown.
I can always tell when that's happening.
I got to do the rundown, too.
You get to look.
I need one person to stay after the roughness.
Tracy walked by, and she looked at it.
What do you need to teach him?
I need one person to stay after to record an ad.
Sass.
Sass.
Oh, you.
You just hit the shot.
You just hit the shot.
That's too easy.
Sass, you got to stay to record an ad.
Okay. All right. We'll see you got to stay to record an ad. Okay.
All right, we'll see you everyone tomorrow,
Henny Friday, and paint battle.
Painting.
Huge day. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act.
It's the act.