The Yak - KB Pulled Off the Cringiest Prank Call in Yak History | The Yak 12-4-23
Episode Date: December 4, 2023They were ranked #1, right?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Hello.
It's Monday.
You didn't fade us, TJ.
What happened there?
Did you fall asleep?
Zod's not here. Zah's not here.
Zah's not here.
So who did that?
Stephanie.
Stephanie. Stephanie, can we give that another try?
A little practice run.
Fade us out.
That was one.
It was bad, but that's okay.
We can learn.
Let's give it a try.
Let's go back.
All right.
All right.
Nice.
Nice. How the fuck are we feeling? Hey, I'm feeling like I should go to All right. Nice. Nice.
How the fuck are we feeling?
Hey, I'm feeling like I should go to Roback.com.
Promo code YAK.
20% off the first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
And?
Q-Zips.
Uh-huh.
And fleeces.
Roback.com.
Promo code YAK.
20% off.
What's up, boys?
Hey.
Hello, hello.
How we doing?
I'm in the Christmas spirit motherfucker
Yeah?
Yeah
We're gonna do a Christmas
I talked to Ronan Sass
I think they're gonna come next week
And we're gonna do a Christmas special
Boy would that be amazing
That'd be great
Yeah so we'll have to figure out which night
We want to do that
Eggnog race?
I
Yeah
Spiked eggnog
Some gifts
Gifts yeah
We should do a secret Santa
We're doing a white elephant for the whole office
That was my
Whoa
Things shoot off these mics
What the fuck was that?
Yeah
That was my Nicky Smokes office party compromise
Last year we did the wheel for the minimum price that you had to do
Oh
I thought that was pretty fun
Because I got a $500 gift from Sass
That's right yes really nice
speaker yeah i think my gift was like five dollars you got no my gift was free you had to give a free
i had to give a free gift i just gave someone my entire like pile yeah it was like it was my home
pile i got a nespresso and then he dropped it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do that again.
Che, have you ever used that Nespresso?
No, I'm not a coffee drinker.
We don't have that.
You re-gifted it?
Kind of.
We gave it to the local fire department.
So I did.
You gave it to the local fire department?
I'm a hero.
Yeah, Nick's a hero.
You shouldn't be able to get credit for that gift.
Oh, Che took full credit.
Yeah, they were probably like, wow, man, this is expensive.
And you were probably like, yeah, not to me.
You probably took a picture.
That's bullshit.
Yeah.
Wait.
Yeah, that's bullshit. What fire department was it?
We should call them up.
I want to call them right now.
I know the number.
Yeah, yeah.
Cranford, New Jersey.
Cranford, New Jersey Fire Department.
Get them on the line. All right, let's find a number. Let's find a number. Also,ford, New Jersey. Cranford, New Jersey Fire Department. Get them on the line.
All right, let's find a number.
Let's find a number.
Also, Che, your mic is very low.
Is that legal?
Wait, hold on.
To what?
Hold on.
Fire Department?
Hold on.
I would think so.
What bowl did Ole Miss end up getting?
I don't know.
Ole Miss isn't bowl eligible, are they?
They're not?
Yeah, because if I remember right, Ole Miss lost. They had a really bad year're Ole Miss. Ole Miss isn't bowl eligible, are they? They're not. Yeah, because if I remember right, Ole Miss lost.
They had a really bad year, Ole Miss.
They weren't very good this year.
No, they were a letdown.
But wait, I'm pretty sure.
No, they did have a good year.
Or did they not?
What bowl was it?
Oh, they got upset in the egg bowl.
Titus, did you go to J-Rad on Saturday?
Yeah, it was awesome.
It was awesome.
Yeah, they played.
Wait, so we got to figure out what the bowl is Ole Miss is in,
and then also if there's any concerts going on around there.
He's on to us, but he can't resist.
That's what's fascinating.
He's like, I know what they're doing.
He both knows what we're doing and not a clue.
Did anyone run like 13 miles this weekend?
Not me.
I heard there was a big race.
I saw someone.
Where'd he go?
No, they don't.
Where'd he go?
Where'd he go?
He's gone.
They usually don't do half marathons this time of year.
They don't do half marathons?
No.
I think it's when December hits. There's something about the weather and the holidays. They just don't do half marathons. No, because I think it's when December hits,
there's something about the weather and the holidays.
They just don't do half marathons.
Oh, but there was an online poker player.
I think he was from Texas who ran what I think was a 10K
and broke the record for his age group.
Yeah.
Oh, it was for charity, right?
Oh, I forgot what I was going to say to you guys.
Do you guys have plans tomorrow morning?
I want to go to breakfast.
Maybe a team building around 8 o'clock.
Yeah, there's nothing else going on.
That would be our first breakfast in a while.
God damn it.
I don't think I have anything tomorrow morning.
This is what happens when you fish the same hole over and over.
He is.
He's starting to recognize the lures.
It's actually become even better of a game because
he knows what we're doing but he still almost can't resist yeah yeah we caught a snag on his
cerebral cortex yeah he'll be back yes wake up mincy's back tomorrow and i'm the first guest
you are 8 10 in the morning oh damn what damn. Were you the first guest first time around? Yeah, I was. I was. Do you have a contingency plan if mistakes are repeated?
I think we're on a delay now.
Are you?
Yeah.
How long is the delay?
A two-syllable delay?
Am I going to what?
Are you going to try?
To get him to say it?
Absolutely.
100%.
We're going to listen to some 50 Cent.
We might put on some Nas.
We're going to do all of it.
Yeah, I really want to do karaoke this time.
I should bring a karaoke machine.
Last time you did it, you did it over Zoom and you lagged.
I pretended to be frozen, but a guy opened a door behind me.
And there was also birds chirping.
But he still was flustered a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
You should lag in real life this time.
Just act like you're happy.
Yeah, frozen.
Or just talk and not have anything come out.
Just move your mouth.
Yeah, what could I do?
Yeah, that's good.
Or I wish I knew another language. Just move your mouth. Yeah, what could I do? Yeah, that's good.
Or I wish I knew another language.
Just talking Spanish.
He's just telling Donnie everything he was going to tell us.
Yes.
He's like, I ran a half marathon.
Ole Miss is in the Peach Bowl.
I've honestly never felt better.
He's just doing all that.
When you're hot, you're hot're hot i think this is my second
act we'll get him back a second chance alive we'll get him back on all right wait so let's
refocus now that we we had to we had to fish there for a second yeah let's call this fire department
oh yeah yeah we we have to call the fire department how did they accept Yeah, tell us exactly how it went down, Stephen.
Did you go face to face or did you just drop it off like a baby?
No, I think my wife dropped it off.
Okay.
All right, call her first and let's see.
Did she take credit?
Did she say this is from the Che family?
I'm sure.
It sure as hell ain't.
It's from the Tarani family.
Yeah.
Maybe act like you kind of need it or want it back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be like, listen, times have gotten tough.
My Nespresso broke, and I remember I gave you guys one.
I just spent my last $10 on a surviving bar stool, and now I can't get coffee.
It's been a rough year.
I can't buy a new one.
Stephen Che is like third in command at Stow Blue Coffee Company.
Really?
And he doesn't drink coffee.
We're kind of frauds.
It's like, it's not.
So actually, I don't drink coffee. I think I have the thing that people have with cilantro where they just don't like guacamole.
I have that with coffee for whatever reason.
Wait, what?
You know, some people don't like guacamole because they just have an a for whatever reason. Wait, what? You know some people don't like guacamole
because they just have an aversion to cilantro.
Cilantro.
Cilantro tastes like soap to some people.
Do you need to have cilantro in guacamole?
I don't know.
I guess.
I don't think so.
You could have just said,
I don't like the taste.
No.
Fair.
But drug dealers don't do the drugs, do they?
Yeah, they definitely do.
I think the best ones don't.
The best don't. Yeah. Don't be high on your own supply there we go so that's che the butter cookie the yak flavor uh i smelled it and it's
actually it it smelled great but i didn't want to cross that border because that's a slippery slope
of what drinking coffee and a coffee drinker got using the product got it yeah what's the
slippery slope what does this where does it end well just it opens up a whole new world and i'm
not sure i'm ready for that that makes sense coffee drinking yeah chase job it's so blue
coffee is just to annoy me how's he doing very good yeah yeah very good yeah just reminds me
of things that i should be doing and to the point where I want to fight him. But then usually right before I fight him, I just do the thing I've been procrastinating.
That's good.
Yeah.
It's a really actually strong.
It's a great method.
I've set up where he knows that like he can annoy me and I won't I won't personally start
to hate him, even though I say I do.
Yeah.
I'm like, I personally hate you.
It's work.
It's good. It's a good system. We have. All right. So we're calling this place. I'm calling the fire department. Yeah. I'm like, I personally hate you. It's work. It's a good system we have.
All right, so are we calling this, please?
I'm calling the fire department.
Yeah, please, Che.
And I need you to clear it up that it wasn't actually from you.
It was from Nicholas Teraney.
Yeah.
Okay.
You need to say that you regifted it, but the financial burden was on my shoulders.
Correct.
Okay.
And he also kind of wants it back.
Yes.
Say your current machine just broke.
Or we could just take $400 from them.
Yeah, they can decide.
So wait, this is a lot of different ideas.
What is the idea I'm going with?
You didn't give them.
Okay.
You need to give proper credit.
Yeah.
Like you can't re-gift something and then get credit for it.
That's crazy.
So we would have used it, but that requires a specific.
It's a lifestyle change because Nespresso has their own type of pots, which I learned.
Yeah, man.
That's a big change.
Huge.
Same.
Costs.
Twenties of dollars.
Yeah.
All right.
Here we go.
So just be a master of subtlety and wit.
What happened?
Ready, set, go.
This is legend ball here.
Yeah, this is a legacy call for you, Jay.
My phone's not working.
Oh, no.
He's panicking.
Oh, no.
I didn't call.
All right, I'm just going to...
TJ, teach him how to make a phone call.
He can't handle the tech of making a phone call.
We need to tell him 48 hours in advance if he wanted to make a phone call on the show.
His brain's probably foggy.
He had too much hot sex yesterday.
And not enough coffee.
Not enough.
All right, here we go.
Is this the...
I've told them that they're alive, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hi.
Just wanted to give you a heads up.
This is being taped for the Barstool Yacht.
This is also not an emergency at all.
I just wanted to clarify a situation.
My name is Stephen Chem, a former Cranford resident.
I just moved out of state.
But I gifted, or my wife did, a Nespresso coffee maker to you guys last year.
Hopefully it's still in use.
I just wanted to assign proper credit to Nicholas Turani.
T-U-R-A-N-I?
T-U-R-A-N-I.
That was his gift to me, and I re-gifted it.
So I just wanted to make sure you guys were aware
Nicholas who?
Teraney
T-U-R-A-N-I
he is the proper
he should be issued proper credit
or thanks for the Nespresso
say your wife may have taken the credit
my wife may have taken the credit or signed it to me
but that was incorrect
so I wanted to apologize to you guys
okay and you said T-U-R-A-N-I or assigned it to me. But that was incorrect, so I wanted to apologize to you guys.
Okay.
And you said T-U-R-A-N-I?
Yep.
Yeah.
Okay.
Funny thing is, are you guys using it?
Are you guys using it?
Do you like it?
Yeah, I think it's still in the kitchen.
He sounds caffeinated.
Hell yeah. All right. Thanks, brother. Appreciate you correcting that the kitchen. He sounds caffeinated. Hell yeah.
All right.
Well, thanks, brother.
Appreciate you correcting that.
You got it.
Thank you.
Thanks, bud.
Oh, man, that was so crazy.
No, I feel good.
I'm a good-ass guy.
I think they're going to issue a statement or something. The guy that took your phone took my phone.
Either that or Nick just got arrested by the fire department of Cranford, New Jersey.
Are you sure it's a correction in the newspaper?
There's a monthly local newspaper.
So if anybody is a Cranford resident, please report back.
Scan it front to back.
It's usually about 10 to 12 pages.
Oh, that was so cringeworthy.
I thought he was going to ask for it back.
Yeah, I was waiting for you to ask for it back.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm going back to New York this week.
I might swing by and get a cup of coffee.
Yeah.
You now, Nick, should call the Cranford Fire Department and say,
actually, you don't want credit.
You want to give credit to Dave Portnoy for giving you a life.
Wow.
Yeah, you're right.
So if you could just X out through my name that's from dave portnoy oh hey brandon what's up
boys what's up uh 10 out of 10 cringe worthy thing that we just did really yeah we prank called the
fire department why it's pretty fucked up actually, because when we found out that Nick gave...
Remember, we were talking about how we're going to do a Christmas special.
Ronan and Sass are going to come back.
We're going to do one for the end of December.
And we were talking about last year how we spun the wheel for the gifts,
which was fun, the price for the gifts.
Nick gave Steven an espresso maker.
Steven then gifted an espresso maker to the Cranford Fire Department without giving credit to Nick.
That's fucked up. So we had Stephen
call the Cranford Fire Department and correct it
a year later
and save proper credit to Nick. So that's not a
prank call. That's just a call that needed to be made.
Yeah. It's long overdue.
It's unfinished business. It's one thing
to re-gift. It's the second thing to
donate it from the goodness of your heart.
It was no skin off your back.
Yeah, your gift made him charitable.
Yes.
Oh, did Steven write that off?
Did you write that off, Steve?
Maybe.
Oh, no.
I don't think I would have thought to even.
That's tax fraud.
Did your wife write that off?
Surely not.
Should you call the IRS and be sure?
We might need her to call the IRS.
I think we should probably clear this up.
But, Brandon, they were very diligent in asking the spelling of Nick's name,
so there's a potential that this could be updated in a local paper.
That would be very cool.
You get the key to the city?
That would be cool.
I get the key.
They want to know what name to put on the plaque that they're going to present to you.
They might have saved hundreds of lives.
Yes, caffeinated.
Can I ask, did you do this gift right after last year or right when you were going to move?
You noticed it and you're like, I don't have any need for that.
I'm going to give it.
Pretty shortly after.
Wow, okay.
So it wasn't out of necessity.
You didn't even open it.
You wanted to be a hero.
Out of the goodness of Nick's heart.
Yeah, that was awesome of me.
Huge.
Really, out of the goodness of the wheel's heart Also true
Oh man that was so cringeworthy
I like doing that
That was good work though
Yeah it was
No you held your own
Thanks
Did a good job
What other fire department should we call?
Start calling and asking if they want Nespresso pod makers
I love him leading it off with, this is not an emergency.
Yeah.
I think legally you have to do it.
No, you didn't call 911, so no, you don't.
He disagrees, and he thinks he's right.
No, he definitely disagrees.
Yeah.
You shouldn't just call the fire department
and just shoot the shit.
Yeah, you can.
If somebody works there and you won't talk to them, you can.
I think that's that guy's job.
That's why they have that number.
That guy just has the gift of gab.
All right, let's spin the wheel, and one of us has to call the fire department and just shoot the shit.
Yeah.
What's going on, brother?
Yeah, I kind of like that.
Let's spin the wheel.
It should be a wheel for name and then wheel for state.
Yep.
All right.
Just shoot the shit.
Yeah.
Is it cool if we just chat for a little bit man
yeah
just talk fires
let's talk fires
nah I'm gonna like
trauma dump the guy
I'm gonna love bomb him
Mark are you nervous
the wheel's gonna hit your head
a little bit yeah
I don't like phone calls
I don't like phone calls
when we did the telethon
the Cyber Monday telethon
I took like two phone calls
and was like
I can't do this
I'm like breaking down
it was hard
talking to
well someone's
going to have to call the fire department.
That's okay.
Alright, first one, not Eliminator.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Yeah!
Oh, no! Keep going!
Oh, no!
So just. You're going. Oh, no. Yes. So just.
Yes.
You're going to be so good.
Yes.
All right.
What state are we doing?
I need to put all the states on the wheel.
Wait, no.
Let's find out.
Let's do a state that doesn't require to say it's recording.
Oh, yeah.
What's a non-two-party state or whatever?
Give me a couple minutes.
Okay.
Yep.
Yep.
No problem.
You get this guy to give you a pick for tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Just chat.
Yeah, just chat it up with him.
Yeah, I got it.
I got it.
You got it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is easy.
This is your bread and butter.
You're really good socially.
Yeah, I can do this.
Yeah, you got this.
Maybe even FaceTime.
So what does the state's got to do?
Really get some eye contact going.
Fuck.
Yeah, I don't know.
Illinois is one, so we have to do it no matter what.
Oh.
Illinois is a two-party consensus.
Oh, bad.
We're recording.
Bad.
Okay.
Yeah.
So do we even do it?
Yeah
Brandon you don't want to do this
But I do
No I'm just saying
He's going to have to say right
Yeah just say we're live to tape
That other guy
It's not an emergency
No he didn't care
No problem
Okay
Just hang out
You know
What's up?
Call the West Lafayette Fire Department.
Yeah.
Talk to them about Purdue losing.
Yes.
Okay, perfect.
Talk about a fire you need to put out.
Yeah, just be like, did anyone call emergency because, you know,
Purdue can't close out a game?
Is this morally wrong?
I don't think so.
It's not wrong.
It's not right.
Why?
Don't know.
Because what if...
Well, talk it out.
Let's talk it out.
Theoretically, we don't want to take up all of their resources going towards fighting fires and serving the public.
But people don't call this number to...
Right.
For emergencies.
Why does the number exist?
I think it's for... Just like a firehouse? Talk to just tell you but who do you think that guy was that answer do you think that's just like the phone guy
that's sure that's surely one of the firefighters right or like i think it was fireman we talked to
that's not like his job i would say most fire fine we won't do it most firehouses have it'd
be a fireman right yeah it's not like a phone it's not like a secretary that's just
answering the phone the one in my hometown had a secretary yeah all right so let's do this
or uh let's let's have a call just to a random business and well he can do it no no no i i if
you guys think this is a morally gray area i don't think it is the first one wasn't morally
gray because i had to get my credit yeah that was fair but yeah we don't think it is. The first one wasn't morally great because I had to get my credit. Yeah, that was fair. But, yeah, we don't have to call the fire department.
I think you just call someone from West Lafayette.
Well, if we're going to do that, let's just call the fire department.
I can do the fire department.
Why don't you call Jimmy John's in West Lafayette?
I think if fire was happening, that guy would be like, I got to go.
Yeah, there's fire happening.
Is there other calls that go to, like, is that like poison control?
We're jamming up the line.
Is it people calling for what?
What reason?
It would be like you think you have carbon monoxide in your house.
You would call that number versus 9-1-3.
No, no, I think that line is for them to call their wives,
for them to call and order food.
That's just their regular everyday phone number.
Like admin.
But there's a number where you're like, I think I might have a gas leak,
but it's not necessarily super.
But that's a different emergency line. Or if you, like, I think I might have a gas leak, but it's not necessarily super. But that's a different emergency line.
Or if you break open a thermometer.
There's a number to call poison control.
There's a number to call everything.
But the fire department is going to have its own.
Hold on.
You just call them?
So you think this is the number just to shoot the shit?
Are you asking Rico?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Smart move.
Oh, yeah.
Imagine we find another Rico in the fire department.
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
The phone number that goes to the fire department, not 911, what is that used for?
Like office building?
I mean, there's headquarters.
Yeah, right. Like office building Like there's a I mean there's There's headquarters Yeah right Like is that a
Is that a line that like
If we called
Just to shoot the shit
We would be potentially
Stopping people
Who need that line
Yeah I mean
I would also
I feel like
It's a
I'm setting
You're setting me up
For a name drop situation
No
No
No
Not at all
Not at all
We
We
We
We're
We're probably calling a fire department We we're prank calling a fire department.
We're just basically calling a fire department to shoot the ship, but we don't want to call
a line that could potentially be used for emergencies.
Cause that's bad.
Oh, oh yeah.
Well, who do you want to see if Sally's working?
No, no, no.
We're, we, we, we know where we're going to call, but we just want to know if the phone number to a fire department, if that's used for anything else that we don't want to stop.
No, that's 911.
So no one called like houses have outside lines.
Yeah. And that line is not no one's calling a house.
Why don't you call my guy Sally? Just answer this question.
The house's... The firehouse's line,
no one's calling that for an emergency of any kind, correct?
If they are, they're dummies.
That's not what you call it for.
Okay, you call it to shoot the shit.
Well, yeah, it's used for interpersonal department stuff,
and yeah, if there's an outside line,
sometimes they'll be like,
hey, can you post this for a fundraiser?
Yeah, okay, okay.
And I'll talk to you about, like, insurance.
But you can call to shoot the shit.
You can call.
The Ghostbusters.
Oh, yeah, I got a guy down there.
Okay.
All right, thank you, Rico.
This helped.
I think I have a solution.
All right, bye.
I think I have a solution.
What if we just make sure it's a small town where nothing's going on?
That could also work.
Yeah.
Like a town of, like, 2,000 people.
I think we're getting hung up on this whole...
We should just fucking do it.
I think we're good.
I think Rico kind of just clarified that that's a...
That's a shoot-in-the-shit line.
Yeah, there's a line that is used for very much non-emergencies.
And I bet you those guys would love to shoot the shit.
Right.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Who's he calling?
West Lafayette Fire Department.
Let's do it.
I don't know if I can handle this.
I'm loving this.
I bet there's several, I guess.
How many do you think?
Maximum cringe.
How many houses are in West Lafayette Fire Houses?
Probably a decent amount.
I'll bet you three.
Four.
Because it's a college town.
It's a bigger town. College a it's a bigger yeah town
it's like all the towns have to have they got a handful i'm gonna earn wheeling
two three one there's a volunteer as well okay so they have fire station one fire station three Fire Station 3, Fire Station 2. Interesting word.
Okay.
Yep, that checks out.
Purdue.
Did they list them alphabetically?
I thought we were going to have a situation with, like, the pigs.
Three is the best.
One and three, and you're like, where'd two go?
Listing the numbers alphabetically is hilarious.
Three is top rated.
Three is a 3.0.
Oh, it's got all three of them.
Yeah.
Two reviews.
So, wait, that's one, five, and one.
Reviews are fired up.
Good job.
They put out the fire.
I had a fire.
Now I don't.
Oh, it has one, five, one, one.
What's the one?
The one is the night crew is very rude.
Oh, no.
Oh.
And then the five star is pretty convincing.
T-H-F-Y-S.
Thank you for your service.
Thank hell for your service.
Yeah, the H is an extra.
Oh, yeah.
Thank hell.
Thank hell.
I'm nervous.
There's a nervous energy.
As I tell them we're live,
it kind of breaks the illusion real fast. Yeah. I'm nervous. There's a nervous energy. I have to tell them we're live.
Yeah, this kind of breaks the illusion real fast.
Yeah, we don't have to do this.
Tell them we're live.
Just be like, hey, we're live on a radio show.
And we just wanted to talk to a firefighter.
Yeah, and is it cool just to call you guys? We wanted to get the blue-collar thoughts on this Purdue team or something.
Yeah.
We wanted to get a real fan's perspective.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, fuck it.
This will be the last one, I promise.
Great.
There we go.
There we go.
Does your phone get louder?
No, my speaker's fucked.
Oh, there we go.
Yeah, keep it close.
It's a woman.
West Lafayette Fireman, huh?
Hey there.
You're live on the little morning show that I do,
but I just wanted to call.
I'm going to move to West Lafayette here in the next three months,
and I just wanted to kind of get in good with you all, with your crew.
Okay. Yeah, just your crew. Okay.
Yeah, just in case.
So what's the department like?
What are you guys up to now?
You're moving to West Lafayette?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let me put you down to our battalion, or our deputy chief of operations.
No, I just wanted to kind of just say say my hellos
maybe get to know you a little more yeah okay you called station one we're one of three stations
um so we're operating is that in like a numerical what order is that what's your name yeah yeah so
station one's on the farthest south end of the city and then station two's in the middle and station three's on the farther north how about purdue
okay i thought purdue university was not the team they were i thought they were sure as shit
the one seed had an end to the tournament but they who'd they lose to? The what? Who'd Purdue lose to?
Wisconsin?
Basketball?
Yeah, they were ranked number one.
Yes, they were number one.
They lost to Northwestern.
The boys, do you guys watch the games at the house or at your house?
I was off duty on that night, so we had it on.
It was a late-night game, so I saw the first quarter of it
and had to wake up and see the news that they lost.
They probably needed the fire department at the other school's campus.
They were probably burning the couches after that one.
I'm sure they were excited.
Yeah.
Well, I mean mean I'll probably
I think the moving date
we're set for early March
so when that happens
yeah we'll probably talk more
okay we'll come by and see you
would love to
alright now
yeah well yeah
tell everyone I appreciate them
and I'll see them soon, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
All right, thank you.
Yep, yep.
Oh!
Oh, man, Gini, you crushed that.
That was the worst.
You crushed that.
That sucked.
That sucked.
That was so bad.
That was peak cringe.
I loved it.
You killed it, Kyle, but that was— You killed it. That is the worst punishment. bad. That was peak cringe. I loved it. You killed it, Kyle.
You killed it.
That is the worst punishment.
That was horrible.
I felt so shitty and anxious.
There was zero breakthrough.
It was just a mental joust.
Probably going to come by and talk more.
It broke me.
All right.
I think we've done that.
We're good.
I think we have to have a new punishment.
You have to stay on the line for five minutes with a police officer.
That was like 10 minutes.
Oh, my God.
KB, you crushed it.
It was nice you did the whole joke about northwestern burning couches
that was great fuck this someone else has
we're doing this all day we're done we're done i do think that should be on the punishment wheel
though that's a nightmare man that's a nightmare i think you did great he was
super nice he was so nice funnier in like jersey where the people don't have any like patience
yeah you want to do it again that is true you could find a small town in middle or maybe like
the bronx find the you can find a guy that you just talk to yeah you'd be friends in like 30
minutes that guy wants to hang out with you he also said, he kind of felt bad for you. I felt like, why are you calling?
Yeah.
I don't like you wanted to ditch you to Firehouse One.
He did.
He just kind of pushed you off.
I didn't need that.
Okay.
Are you going to leave a Google review now?
Very friendly.
Yeah, that was a five star.
Yeah, that was a five star.
Props to him.
Okay.
I can't handle that.
No. Okay. I can't handle that.
No, no.
I love cringy things, and I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.
Speaking of, people are getting their Yak books, and just knowing that strangers are reading these has made—
I've been so uncomfortable every time somebody tweets a picture of one.
I know.
I love seeing it on the coffee table.
It's like that's just sitting in someone's apartment right now.
Someone's going to get in trouble with it.
You think so?
It's going to be like it's going to end up someone the wrong person is going to like open it up.
Like with their girlfriend or like legal trouble.
Just not trouble like a very awkward situation.
You're going to have to explain it.
Yeah.
And you there is no explanation.
Imagine the cops.
Somebody commits a crime and they search the apartment and our book was explanation. Imagine the cops, somebody commits a crime,
and they search the apartment, and our book was found.
What?
That would be crazy, right?
What do you mean our book was found?
Yeah, if they were just looking at the guy's apartment,
and our book was sitting there.
You think they'd look through it?
Yeah.
It's Mein Kampf and NYT Bestseller.
Those are the two books.
Somebody kills John Lennon after reading our book.
Yeah, do you think, how many did we sell?
1,800?
1,800.
Do you think one out of the 1,800 are like a serial killer?
Yes.
I'd say maybe even five.
Five out of 1,800?
Yeah.
How many serial killers?
There's not that many serial killers, though.
How do you know?
I don't know.
Isn't just killing more than one person a serial killer?
One different incident, right?
I thought you have to kill them the same way.
Oh.
Right?
I don't know about that.
It's literally a series.
So it can't be all at once.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
25 to 50 actual serial killers.
What constitutes the series?
Just like an instance of killing? Or is the series like there's a common thread between all of them? There has to be serial killers. What constitutes the series? Just like an instance of killing
or is the series like there's a
common thread between all? There has to be. I think if you're
killing for passion and nothing
like else
sport. Yeah, you do it multiple
times. I think that's a serial. So I don't think we
have any serial killers. I don't
I don't think we have somebody. I bet you that
could be could be
and this might be their awakening.
I think if you buy this book and you're just like, I'm going to spend my money on this.
Pre-crime.
Pre.
Pre-crime.
Does Che count?
Or is he because he's on the show?
Yeah, no.
Che is definitely a serial killer in waiting.
He's got potential.
Yeah.
First round pick of serial killerdom.
That would be the least shocking thing ever, right?
If we came in one day and he wasn't here.
Because he was in prison. If the cops showed up and it was
like, the cops showed up and we got bad
news, you work with a serial killer, I would
just be like, what did she do? Yeah. I would immediately
just be like, what?
Yeah. Like, no, I
the Bucs were playing, I have an alibi for
him. Like, wait, we weren't talking about him.
I am accounted for pretty much all every hour of the
week yeah that's true very accountable you're the very accountable person this job is perfect
for alibi yeah we have great yeah unless this is taped holy shit whoa speaking of which friday
we do have a taped episode we did a uh wiffleball Home Run Derby that was originally going to be just an extra episode that we threw up on the YouTube,
but it was so good and so funny that we're just going to run it on Friday, so that'll be Friday's show.
I feel like as a company, we have an over-hyping problem, but this was my favorite episode we've done there are some all-time moments yeah intrigue sportsmanship lack of sportsmanship yeah perfect yeah let's get
excited friday will be a the wiffle ball the yak wiffle ball home run derby for a big trophy and
$500 cash great time time. Great time.
How you doing, Brandon?
Nothing.
I'm good.
How you doing?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Guns sucking the SEC dry?
No, I've been correct, and this one's yelled at me for it.
That one's yelled at me for it, but I'm correct, and you guys are wrong.
I told you it was going to happen weeks ago.
That doesn't make you correct.
Weeks ago, I told you it was going to happen.
It's different. Brandon Walker was right. If you thought it was going to happen weeks ago. That doesn't make you correct. Weeks ago, I told you it was going to happen. It was just a different... Brandon Walker was right. If you thought
it was going to happen, why'd you bet Georgia?
Hmm? If you told me to, I bet the over.
That's a good point.
Bet the over.
I love college football
fan bases. It's just
peak everyone's mad
at all times. If I were a Florida State fan, I would be
the most furious
you could possibly be. I honestly do think I would stop
watching college football if I was Florida State. I would storm the
Capitol. No diehard college football
fan can stop watching college football.
It's not possible.
Well, I mean, you kind of...
I don't know, man. I think everybody has a
breaking point. I was going to say, everybody has a break,
but then the problem with that is if a guy stops watching,
Brandon will just be like, then he obviously wasn't a diehard.
No, I think this just makes diehard Florida State fans more diehard
than they already were.
But I also assume everyone who says they stopped watching
was never watching to begin with.
Like the people who are like, I stopped watching the NBA
because LeBron sucked up to China.
It's like, I don't think you were watching.
They were never really glued to the games anyway.
Yeah. That is always strange. If you love something, you're going to do it. china it's like i don't think you were watching they were never really glued to the yeah yeah
that is always you love something you're gonna you're gonna do it like this is my tipping point
like people remember when nfl had the concussion thing and it was like i'm done with this yeah
yeah really yeah people don't really have tipping points yeah i have i do i know well if i was a
florida state fan i would so oh i would not i prove prove me. I think I'd be more of a Florida State fan today.
Prove me wrong.
Well, you'd have more pride, but I think you'd lose faith in the product of college.
Oh, I think I'd just walk around the rest of my life, just anyone who I ever talked to, I'd just bring that up.
UCF still does that, right?
Yeah.
Who's, like, more aggrieved about the system, not just the college football playoff, but, like, college sports as a whole?
Is it Florida State or Washington State slash Oregon State?
Probably those guys.
I imagine they –
Florida State still has a school and still –
Yeah, can make money.
They can still do stuff, can win football games.
Yeah.
What can Oregon State and Washington State do?
Nothing.
Yeah.
Would you rather be Florida State right now
or a team that gets bounced first in the playoff?
Florida State.
Yeah, Florida State.
You have the what if.
It is a great out that you have
where the rest of your life you can complain about it.
If their quarterback was healthy, did they have a chance to win?
Yes.
Definitely?
Yes.
Their defense is really, really good.
That doesn't matter, though, because the quarterbacks.
It doesn't matter if the offense is.
Quarterbacks only.
What if Michigan's quarterback gets COVID this week?
Well, we still have a month.
Yeah, if the Michigan quarterback gets hurt in the first quarter,
they're going to lose.
Should their team be swapped out?
No.
Should we do swapsies mid-game?
No swapsies.
I think so.
No takebacks.
I think we should.
We should have a team on standby.
If Mahomes gets hurt in the Super Bowl,
should they just bring the Bills in or something?
They should play the playoff without scoreboards
and then just vote at the end of the game who won.
They should announce the playoffs before the season starts.
Well, I was saying, Nick, that I wouldn't be opposed to having the committee do NFL playoffs
just so we don't have to watch the Steelers in the playoffs.
That would be—I would like that.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, we don't want to watch this.
If Florida State, though, I didn't know they had hope to win it all.
I didn't know they could.
Before we got hurt, they did.
The Steelers have no hope to win it all.
So if they got bounce for the playoffs uh but should have made it i would
love that yeah by the way speaking of sports um mook how long did you know about dom no oh i've
seen him on the sidelines i'm mad about anyone who's kept dom for yeah that was wild like greg
olsen was just like oh yeah dom yeah there he. Yeah. There he is. Security guard Dom. Did you guys see this?
No, I missed it.
Philly has the most Philly guy of all time who's their head security of the Eagles.
He's been there since Andy Reid, and he got ejected from the game yesterday
because he got into, like, a pushing match with Dre Greenlaw.
Dre Greenlaw also got a—
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Look at that.
And then, can you find the highlight tape?
Someone had already before this had made a
Fuck it here's some security guard
Dom highlights
He's been a thing
They were talking about him like he was the quarterback of the team
It was like something that everybody knew
Am I crazy that I've never
Known who the security guy is on every NFL team?
Look at it
Him holding up the gate That fell on Jalen Hurts.
Look how tan he is.
Yeah, that's right.
He's just
Yeah he's great
Yeah
Oh
Oh
Hey
Where's that
Yeah he got kicked out of the game
It was so Philly
I can relate
Oh my
Oh
What happened
I got kicked out of a bar this weekend
What
Whoa
How was it
Bad boy
Go ahead What You got kicked out of a bar this weekend what whoa how is it bad boy go ahead what you got kicked out of a bar yeah how
um too fucking drunk yeah the bouncer came up to me he's like hey man you're too fucked up to be
here you've been over served you need to go meanwhile i had had like three high noons in
a span of four hours okay somebody threw their phone in the bar and hit a girl's beer off the table,
and I guess the guy thought it was me.
And so he escorted me out of the bar.
Mook was ride or die.
He got right in between the bouncer, and he was like, yo, yo, what the fuck?
I was in toes.
This guy was 6'4", 400 pounds.
And this guy comes up, and he's like, let's take a walk.
I'm like, what?
And so I walk out of the bar with this giant man and then he looks at me and he's like to be honest dude nobody's ever walked
out of here better than you just now you can come back in you're not drunk at all i was like he
complimented me he's like nobody's ever left this bar better oh that would be worth it to hear that
yeah one time yeah yeah yeah that's absolutely but i didn't go back in you didn't go back in no way
yeah you gotta leave after that
People also recognize
That it was Nick
Getting kicked out
So it was kind of like
Oh it was a little bit of a
Saw he's in the chat rooms
Yeah
Is it in the chat rooms
Yes
Is that embarrassing
Or badass
I think it's badass
Yeah
Yeah
Unless it was because
I was too drunk
That's embarrassing
That's embarrassing
But I was walking out of there
Better than anybody ever
But you
You being a bad boy
Is badass obviously
Yeah
Yeah that's street cred.
Fuck this place.
Yeah, I've been carried out of bars.
That's not a good thing.
No, that's very bad.
Getting picked up.
I got tossed literally out of Spinnaker in Panama City.
Literally tossed?
By a female bouncer.
Yeah, like thrown in the air.
Oh, no.
An airboy, not a female bouncer.
How do they do it?
They grab the back of your jeans.
Oh, it's a... The back of... Like a? They grabbed the back of your jeans and the back.
Like a carton.
Back of the neck.
Back of the neck.
By my hips.
Were you fighting back at all?
Probably little kicks.
Little child kicks?
Like when you put a puppy over water.
Yeah, but I felt really cool in the moment.
That's a very cool thing to do. Yeah, if you just walked on your own.
Yeah, I just walked right out.
I was like, all right.
I thought you were getting like Drewski.
It felt like a prank.
I thought you were getting pranked.
It seems like you're way too fucked up.
I was like, sir.
I like, sir, but I don't know what you mean.
Because I wasn't.
You were so sober.
What bar was it?
I don't want to say that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, cool I felt
I was riding high
The rest of the night
Yeah
Then I got fucking wasted
Started throwing your phone
Yeah
Yeah you should've
You should've
You should've went back in
And just gotten so drunk
And been like
Here's a reason to kick
Yeah
I'll give you a fucking reason
Yeah
I've already been kicked out once.
You were dancing a lot. I was dancing.
Boy, he was dancing.
He was doing the ass too fat, Titus. I love doing the ass
too fat.
Great dance.
Great dance.
Why is this guy dancing? He must be blacked out.
Yeah, because nobody else was.
That's incredible.
But I wasn't dancing upstairs where it happened.
No. Oh, well.
Brandon, are your shoes okay?
No, I ruined a good pair of shoes.
Yeah.
Good pair of shoes.
Although my wife's got them in the urgent care right now,
and she's trying to fix them.
Urgent care.
Yeah, urgent care of my wife.
Yeah, she's trying to fix them.
So we'll see.
That was the shit of that whole thing.
I had shoe damage.
And like a black eye.
Yeah, it was a scrape.
Oh, yeah.
Where's your mask?
You ordered it.
Oh, yeah.
Let me see.
I got a text page.
I forgot about the black eye.
I was expecting when we left on Friday, I was like, Brandon's going to have just like a swollen, shut eye.
So I didn't know what it was at the time, but it was a scratch from like here down to here.
So I guess his fingernail had caught me.
It never turned into a black eye.
He has a long pinky nail that'll get you.
Hank looks like he's in a nice outfit.
He's trying to close a couple insurance deals today.
He's got a nice haircut. Oh, he's trying to land it on the stool.
Crispy face.
He's trying to land it on the stool.
Oh, and stool scenes. Stool stream spoiler. That's a great haircut. Oh, he's trying to land it on the stool. Crispy face. He's trying to land it on the stool. Oh, and stool scenes.
Stool stream spoiler.
That's a great game.
I love that.
Really bad.
Okay.
We shouldn't have to do that now.
Yeah.
We're going to do it.
Yeah.
Yep.
Loser has to call the fire department.
Oh.
Never mind.
Oh, hey, do it again.
Try to get it in the middle.
With a kick?
Yeah, you have to kick.
I don't even know if I can kick it straight.
Too much.
Too much.
Way too much.
Why did you run up, Hank?
Way too much.
Brakes.
Put on the brakes.
Do it again, Hank.
That's going all the way to the end.
Oh, my God.
This is kind of fun to watch.
Just watching a ball.
Has Hank done the gauntlet?
No.
Did he?
No, he hasn't.
He's the type of dude that would be good at it.
Better.
That might be good.
Better.
Still think too much.
No, I think it's good.
No, it's too much.
Too much.
Way too much.
Less is more you almost
have to barely touch it oh that one might be it no is there like a hill there yeah there's a hill
there's a big hill do you think he gets it by the time the rack runs out no no i think yes yes i
think this might be the one i think this could be the one. This could be the one.
This could be the one.
This is pretty good.
No, it's not.
That might be it.
Wait.
What did you say?
In the circle.
It has to be in the circle.
In the circle.
In the circle.
It has to stop.
Not the circle.
It should be on the stool.
Yeah, it should be on the stool.
No, circle.
No, circle.
Well, I mean, he has to become the big circle.
That's a big circle.
If it sits on the stool, you should win like 10 grand.
I think the circle's a big circle. That's a big circle. If it sits on the stool, you should win like 10 grand. I think the circle's too big.
No, that's not going to make it.
Oh, no.
I think this might.
No.
It's not settling yet.
Go.
One more.
Come on.
Oh.
Pussy.
That was thrilling.
I think this is the one.
No, he's going to overshoot it now.
No, this is the one.
Wow.
Looks good.
It's curving right.
It's curving right.
It's on the hill.
Beating up.
It's curving.
This looks good.
Oh, it's going to go out.
I'm back.
It's going to cut out.
It's going to cut out.
It's going to cut out.
Oh, my gosh.
This is incredible.
This is so much fun.
Oh.
Can he do it with the whole rack?
Trash.
Trash.
Trash.
Not even close.
He's only got four balls left.
Not even close.
Weight room.
Weight room.
He's got four balls left. Oh. Uh weight room he's got four balls left oh uh-oh
hey there what's up oh he jumped on the boat i did text him i told him okay mincy welcome back
hold on mince we're watching hank try to kick a ball into a circle. Very important stuff going on right now.
Oh, he's going a different angle.
And the money ball.
This could be it.
Is this hard?
This could be it.
No, he's not good.
No, if it goes, if it goes.
It's not going in.
Yes, that's it.
That's it.
Stop.
Wait.
Stop.
Wait.
Stop. Oh oh it's oh
he thought he had a walk-off oh man two balls left on the rack i think he's right this is the angle
yeah put some spin on come on h on, Hank. Oh, come on.
Last shot.
Last shot.
Change the angle again.
He's going the other side.
He's fucked.
Oh, my God. Oh, you choked.
I want to try this.
Oh, my God.
I want to try it so bad. Oh, my god. Oh, you choked! I want to try this. I want to try it so bad.
Oh my god.
That was pathetic, Hank.
He said he has one more.
It was not on the rack.
It wasn't.
This is the dumbest but best thing ever to watch.
Titus, you want to go out there and give it a shot. Yeah, I'm going to try it.
That's got too much mustard.
This might be it.
Is this too much, you think?
Yeah, I think it's too much.
You think it's too much?
I might have...
I don't know.
I don't know.
Stop.
Oh, oh.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait.
Breaks, breaks, breaks.
Yeah, clean this up.
Clean it up.
Hard to knew.
Clean it up.
You're done, Hank.
Where you going, Brandon?
Mincy. How we doing, big cat? Wake up Mincy tomorrow. Yeah to new. Clean it up. You're done, Hank. Where are you going, Brandon? Mincy.
How we doing, Big Cat?
Wake up Mincy tomorrow.
Yeah, man.
And return.
Return to trial run here at 1.30.
Oh, really?
A little trial run here, yeah.
Just to see if the audio is all good.
A little dress rehearsal, yeah.
Nice.
Will we be able to watch that, TJ?
I know Stefan's running it, trying to maneuver y'all in some stream at 4,
so he said 1.30.
All right.
1.30 it is, so we're going to turn it up a little bit for the trial run.
Excited about tomorrow.
Don't waste it all.
No, no.
I'm holding back a lot today.
Okay.
Today's a little 15, 20-minute just deal.
Will we be doing any karaoke tomorrow?
Wasn't planning on it.
You know, definitely won't be any rap songs.
Okay. I can assure you that. But I've got a good – It's still like Bob Dylan, Hurricane. Yeah. I wasn't planning on it. You know, it definitely won't be any rap songs.
Okay.
I can assure you that.
But I've got a good.
It's like Bob Dylan, Hurricane.
Yeah.
Good song.
Story of a Hurricane.
Yeah.
A little fight back.
You know, a man that was.
It's a good ass song.
Yeah, it's great.
It is.
It's kind of your second act.
This is the second act.
Yeah.
It's great.
How long does the second act last for?
It's the second half of my life.
Oh, okay.
The whole thing, it's like a metaphor for like it was turning 40 and the barstool thing so you're capping yourself out at
80 i don't know it's just as long as it goes i'm hoping i live the way i'm living if i keep running
these titus excuse me sorry mincy you're good but yeah after this role we'll find out when you think you'll die oh oh oh my god oh wow what a tease all right so it's
gonna be how many kicks does it take you to get in there yeah let's see if anyone can get in there
first of all might be too hard nah we got it that's bad bad needs. Needs more momentum. It looks like it's kind of way short.
How was your weekend?
I mean, my hamstrings and quads are still on fire and limping around.
But, I mean, I'm pumped, man.
Freaking 13. Yeah, I saw your time.
Congrats.
Yeah.
That's great.
The training, I've been doing all these 10Ks all year,
so I'm real conditioned to, like, the six milers.
I was, the 13.1 was great. Oh. That real condition to like the six milers. I was the 13.1 was.
Oh, that doesn't count.
That doesn't count.
It kind of hits a ball.
That doesn't count.
No, dude.
That doesn't count.
It doesn't count.
You need help.
You need help.
No, no, it's not curling.
This is basketball kicking.
Hey.
Yeah.
Tip of the cap.
Yeah.
You're doing the wrong rules, dude. Yeah. But you're feeling good, though. How do you not know these rules? Basket basketball kicking. Hey. Yeah, tip of the cap. Yeah, you're doing the wrong rules, dude.
Yeah, but you're feeling good, though.
How do you not know these rules?
Basketball kicking.
So that's one of the rules now, right?
It's basketball kicking.
Now it is.
Yeah, it's definitely one of the rules.
Can't do that.
So you're going to live to 80?
I hope I live longer.
I hope so, too.
I think I can live longer if I keep.
I think you've got 115 in you.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
I know.
I feel like I kind of dodged a bullet with how I lived in you. Yeah, I don't know about that. I know.
I feel like I kind of dodged a bullet with how I lived in my younger years,
and so I'm trying to take it real serious going forward. Oh, this is good.
This is good.
He got it.
Wait.
Oh, it might fall.
No.
No.
Yeah?
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
And does it have to be completely in?
It has to be completely in.
Yes.
Completely in. That's completely out. God damn. Tit to be completely in? It has to be completely in.
That's completely out.
Titus, man, I love you to death.
I thought you'd be better at this.
Okay, so he's tried four.
Now he's got almost a barrier.
Yeah, that's not great.
He's in trouble now.
You'd rather miss words. So we have to leave the barriers out if we made them?
Yeah, play it as an element.
Now the rules we just talked ourselves into. What's next, Mincy? So we have to leave the barriers out if we made them? Yeah, played us. Yeah, it adds an element.
Now the rules we just talked ourselves into.
What's next, Mincy?
The wake-up minutes, you're retiring.
That's right.
We've all been building.
This whole thing was building.
I decided I was running that half marathon in late July,
and so that's been building to that.
And it was – I mean, it was unbelievable.
I mean, like running the 10th mile, you run through the St. Jude campus,
all the kids are out there high-fiving them that, you know,
are being treated for cancer.
I mean, it was just unreal.
Strong role right there. Now, some people, Mincy, are saying that I am essentially the MyPillow guy
to Trump is still blue to you.
Unwavering support.
You are.
Maybe a bad decision by me, but I'm still doing it.
Well, thank you for that.
Because I will stand by you forever.
I appreciate that.
There it is, boys.
I plan to not let you down.
There it is, boys.
This is it.
Oh, it's rolling off.
Oh, no.
It's going to hit another one, too.
Oh, come back.
Come back.
Go left.
Oh, my God.
This is so maddening.
I just can't get it in the hole.
I want to try so bad.
Look at the camera work for Sully's dad.
Through the rack.
Yeah.
He's getting artsy with it.
Tides looking hot.
You like it?
He likes it.
Cut through.
Cut through.
Stop.
Settle.
It's going to settle.
It's going to sit. It's going to settle. It's going to settle. No, it's not. It's through. Stop. Settle. It's going to settle. It's going to sit.
It's going to settle.
It's going to settle.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
It's not.
No.
Fuck.
They're like something around that.
I don't know.
Stool logo.
It's just like a reactor that just makes things go away from it.
I don't know.
How many is that?
How many have you tried?
He's not going to be able to get one in there.
All right, so let's say everyone gets ten tries.
You get two more, Titus.
Someone's going to have to get it.
Surprises for tomorrow, Mince.
It's like Circle.
Well, the fact that we're back on the air feels like a little bit of a surprise
after seven months and four days.
Nope.
But thank you to the man in the head seat over there.
He was the first guest ever of Wake Up, Mincey,
and he gets to be the first guest in the second act.
Yes.
Is this going to be topic-based, or what type of discussion are we going to look for?
A lot of things.
There's going to be some chaos.
There's going to be some topics.
We'll definitely be talking some college football on the playoff. How long is the show going to look forward to it. We're going to look at a lot of things. There's going to be some chaos. There's going to be some topics. We'll definitely be talking some college football on the playoff.
How long is the show going to be?
What we're doing, a little strategy thing, it was 8-8-25,
like all shock jockey, basically just chaos the last time.
We're going to try to extend it to about 8-45,
and there's going to be a little more.
There's probably going to be 15 to 20 minutes of sports and gambling talk.
We're going to have a combo of all of it now. love um and so we're shooting for we're shooting for about 40
45 minutes and uh stu feiner wednesday pft on thursday oh we got a big we got a big huge week
yeah huge week uh to start it and yeah just uh super super excited you get 10 tries anything
you won't mention with stella blue on this uh any. Anything you want mentioned with Stella Blue on this?
What you want me to promote?
Get the people buying it.
I'll be chugging it to start.
Coffee's going to be going everywhere.
Energy's coming.
Hell, yeah.
I feel like, I mean, I think y'all can see it just being around me earlier this year and now.
My energy and confidence are on a whole different level than they were
six or seven months ago.
It's the health.
You've always had confidence.
Yeah, but I think it's the health things.
The energy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just feel Yeah, but I think it's the health things. The energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I just feel better, and I think that's going to translate.
It's contagious, too.
How's your apartment?
It's good.
I really like it.
Really, man, I just love the Chicago thing compared to New York.
I'm paying the same thing for this downtown,
like basically on the edge of downtown skyline apartment
that I was paying to live in Hoboken.
Yeah.
I mean, this would be like a $ or seven K a month apartment in New York.
And here it's reasonable.
So yeah.
Love the Chicago thing in general so far.
I mean, the cold weather is going to be the only negative.
Yeah.
There was a debate yesterday of whether you actually did have an apartment or not.
But I said you did.
I do.
Yeah.
I do.
People were wondering if maybe you were in the office.
I thought about sleeping in the office at the beginning.
Not bad, though. It was a good first roll yeah good first roll all right well
mincy i'll see you tomorrow morning you will 8 10 yeah and i think we'll probably we'll probably
just peek in when you're doing your your test run here yeah i mean it's going to just be right there
we're using we're going with a different uh setup instead of doing the kitchen we're using this
video port over here so we're going to going to go a little different than people thought.
I forgot to tell you too,
January, we're
getting a magician every day. A magician every
day. You're the only one that needs to attend
every magician's act.
You might get sawed in half. So there
will be other people that can attend, but I need
to go daily. I need you there daily and I need
a report on how the magic is. Okay.
It's the magician every day.
Yeah.
All right.
I'd like to learn some magic tricks.
Okay.
Yeah.
We're probably going to put them right over there.
It's going to be around 11 o'clock every day.
Okay.
And you'll just watch.
All right.
And last thing, thank you for supporting the St. Jude.
Of course.
Of course.
Like I said, I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
That was a very monumental thing in my life to get to do that at 40 and where I've been
three years ago.
I was like 300 pounds three and a half years ago.
Yeah, no.
Of course.
Great cause.
Did you donate with the money I gave you for Christmas last year?
Uh-oh.
I need credit for that.
Oh, yeah.
What did I give?
You gave 500 bucks.
Oh, wow.
I gave 500 bucks?
You gave 500.
I did it anonymously.
Yeah, we ended up 5,700 the last couple days.
That's great.
That is great.
Hey, man, it's great, man.
It's all positive.
Now let's see if I can hobble around away from here because I'm freaking.
At the end of that, our car was like a mile and a half away,
and I had some chafing and my knees were sore.
Dude, it took me like an hour and a half to get that mile.
I couldn't even walk at the end of that road.
It was like that.
Did you do Band-Aids on your nipplesipples i should have because my nipples were just yeah i
was wearing that old miss play i was the nips it was nipples knees quads and hammies the quads and
hammies are the only thing still hurting but the 13.1 such a bear though yeah i mean i thought like
oh i can run six or seven i got. That was mile seven through 13 were war.
Start a strip club, nipples and knees.
Nipples and knees.
That's all they show.
Nipples and knees.
End up with scabs.
I love a good set of knees, actually.
Oh, yeah.
Nice set of knees.
All right.
See you tomorrow.
Love it.
Might have some distractions here in a little bit.
Brandon kicked it, put up the number one, started walking with it,
got to about the free throw line, and then stopped.
How many is he on? Pretty far. Oh, that's the number one, started walking with it, got to about the free throw line, and then stopped. How many is he on?
Pretty far.
Oh, that's more than 10, Brandon.
Is that the 10th?
That's way more than 10.
Of course he is.
Wait, there's one, two, three.
That's way more than 10.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine.
He's got nine.
That's his 10th.
Yuck.
Do the high noon ad.
I'm going to give it a shot.
Okay.
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Yep.
You add.
Never mind.
I hope the magician makes Mincy disappear.
Oh, that would be amazing.
And he just gets lost.
Gets scared.
Mincy would be awful as an invisible person.
You'd be able to tell.
Yeah.
Exactly where he is.
Put the curtain over him, shake it a little bit,
and then pull it, and you see Mincy waddling off the side of the stage.
He might be the most visible man.
Yeah, he would.
Yeah, he is.
It's hard, isn't it, Brandon?
It is because it breaks left.
If he does this first try, it looks like he's about to.
Holy shit.
Wow.
He's such a dickhead.
That wasn't easy.
That was so easy.
Every time.
Every time. You guys were struggling with that? That was literally my first time that sucks
fuck fuck ruined everything that was so easy i thought this was gonna be some monumental task
no that was i mean god fucking damn it now what now Now we can't go. I'm not going.
Do you want to try and get it on the stool for extra points?
If you guys want to try to play a little game that I can win again, I'll do it.
This sucks so bad, man.
I feel like someone can beat that if they get it on the stool.
That was so fucking easy.
Go try.
It's really not hard. I don't know why you guys.
Did you kick?
I mean. No, I did the same thing you guys have been hard. I don't know why you guys... Did you kick it?
Same thing you guys have been doing.
I'm going to put on my Brandon Walker hat for a second.
I got it. I did get it.
No, you didn't.
I got it.
No, you didn't. With the help of another ball.
If you did what I did, but that was going in.
With the help of another ball.
That was going in.
That was good.
Well, you shouldn't have left the other one short to get in the way.
Well, I was...
So I should just clear the board?
No, you shouldn't have left the other one short to get in the way. Well, I was – so I should just clear the board? No, you shouldn't have left the other one short.
That doesn't make any sense.
You left it – you had no path.
You had no path.
You either make or you miss.
You're giving out – you're Che-ing right now.
No, it's Brandon.
That's a – like, Brandon would 100% –
You're turning into Che.
You are.
Brandon would have 100% argued that he got it.
You always want what you hate.
That's why I'm appealing to Brandon.
I'm looking Brandon in the eye for some sort of understanding.
I hate seeing you guys fight like this.
It's really not hard.
I'll teach you all how to do it.
Go do it again.
Put like four balls.
Go do it again.
Go do it again.
What if I do it again?
Go do it again.
What if I do it again?
I couldn't do it either.
What if I do it again?
I think, Brandon, you have to quit.
The show or the company?
The company.
I'd rather quit the company than the show.
Yeah.
Okay.
You can still do the show, but you can't work here.
Yeah, but I can charge for it.
Yeah.
Why not?
Okay.
I mean, I kicked it.
Then the ball I kicked stopped in the middle.
Who's to say, man?
I don't know.
I thought that was the.
He didn't kick it.
He rolled it.
We kicked it.
He rolled it.
He did roll it.
No, no, no, no.
You're not kicking it.
Brandon, yeah, tell him.
Hey, here goes Brandon.
Make this a thing.
He actually might get it again.
No way.
No way No way
Look at this dude
Holy shit
He did roll it
You did roll it
You fucking dickhead
What are you talking about?
I went like this
What's the name of the game?
What was the name of the game that we called it?
Put the ball in the middle of the thing
We named it kicking basketball, didn't we?
Okay, I'll go kick it.
You rolled it with your foot.
You guys weren't doing this.
Please don't make him do this.
You guys weren't doing the same thing?
No, we were kicking it.
I saw Hank doing it exactly like that.
Shut up, Fazoli.
Shut the fuck up.
God fucking damn it.
This is this.
You know if he gets this.
Brandon, and if he pulls the tape and he did kick it.
You told me to do it.
Look at this, dude.
No, Brandon, you were right.
You were right.
You know what we're doing here.
I don't know.
By now.
I don't even know.
By now you would.
I have to quit now?
That's what the rules were, right?
Oh, wait.
You have to quit your job?
Oh, no.
Oh, shit. Pull your foot back and then thrust it
forward and kick the ball he won't take it i've tried before there you go that's a kick that
counts as a kick?
See?
Real fucking hard, isn't it?
Brandon, the first one might have been a kick.
I don't think it was a kick.
Of course, Vasoli's taking your side.
Vasoli's always.
He's deep in those pockets.
I guess we all are.
Muscle man.
Did he get it? it no that's too much
just crazy that you tried the real way and now you can't do it
yeah brandon you might have to go out there and do it the way wait is that
footage of hank in the golf simulator so
yeah what's going on there yeah it's inception oh god oh
fuck that's good that looks that might that might be on the stool
fuck you proved yourself yeah brandon has to quit now i gotta quit do you feel good yeah i feel very good that was easy as fuck i agree
brandon double or nothing that's the two guys that got the ball to stop in the circle
we did kind of make it look easy brandon Speak your peace, brother. Well, I guess this is it.
Yeah, say your goodbyes.
I like three of you.
Thank you.
All right.
Oh, mook, buddy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, he doesn't know.
Brandon, do you have a newfound lust for life now that we have so many
opportunities to succeed at athletic challenges?
I kind of do, yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I'm very eager to get to work every day.
Yeah.
Like when I'm bogging down in traffic and I'm getting here at like 8.05 instead of 7.45, I'm like, that's 20 minutes of golfing I'm not going to get to do.
That's good for the mind.
I have a routine.
Every day I get here, 10 free throws, then about 20 drives.
This is already being filmed.
Yeah, we're good.
I did it three times more than you and less shots.
Actually, you did it infinity times.
I did it zero times.
Should he be on rollerblades every time?
Yeah, I want him on rollerblades.
What is Hank doing?
I think they're figuring out how to do this.
He and PFT are playing a cash game, 18 holes, 4 o'clock.
Boy, that should be good.
He's spraying the ball around there.
Brandon, do you feel yourself getting in better shape?
No, not really, although my pants fit better now.
I think I probably lost two pounds.
Are you going to ever run Friday open runs they have?
I did.
I jumped in.
No.
I felt good being the old guy getting in the mix.
I'll leave that to them.
That's kind of their time to bond.
Ty, are you going to get in it?
Yeah, I've never been invited.
Yeah, I wasn't invited either.
I just was here on Friday at like 3 o'clock,
and all of a sudden they turned on music,
and they started playing 5 on 5.
And I was like, I'm in.
I'll hop in.
That's pretty cool.
Looks very fun.
It was fun.
It was a lot of fun.
White Boy Rick's a pretty good baller.
Oh, yeah.
This was amazing.
Yeah.
That was like WNBA level of ball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Athleticism as well.
It's fun.
Just get a little sweat in before you go home on a Friday.
Big T's got a wet jumper.
Yeah.
Good shooter.
Donnie was on my team. Donnie has the most confidence in his basketball game,
and it's awesome.
Wanton or Sheff?
Wanton.
Tried to take the three-pointer to win the game how close total brick but i was like i respect the fuck out of that oh yeah like i don't
whenever i play pickup if we're like at point i'm just like hot potato like i'm not gonna be the one
who misses this shot yeah i don't want to be that guy because everyone's like fuck dude why'd you
take that shot if i also he does have a pretty good game down low, though.
He was putting in some hooks.
If I were to play in that game and I touched the ball zero times,
that would be a huge success for me.
You should play.
I would love that.
It's for all skill levels.
Stefan also tried to save a loose ball
and just knocked over an entire body armor fridge.
Dumped it all out.
You know why it's unplugged?
But it was great because if anyone else had done it,
Stefan would have been so pissed.
But it was him.
So we just like we had to pause the game because he hit it over
and they all dumped out and went all over the court.
That's awesome.
Oh, is this it?
Their footage?
Oh, that was a missed three.
Yeah.
Yeah. three yeah and no wait but do you wait does it still go because he then tried to put it up and
it jumped up he like oh he put it back up and then the door opened and all of them spilled out
no yeah it was great that was like the least violent spill into a fridge I've ever seen.
How many?
If you're running into a fridge, you're going full force.
Let's bring those violent run-ins to the fridge.
Oh, that's all you have?
Fuck.
Yeah, him standing it up and having them all dump out was great.
Yeah, he like ballerina-ed into it.
He made puppy chow, though, today, his penance.
Is that who made that?
Yeah.
Fuck. He's good. He's nice with it. He brought in cinnamon rollsed into it. He made puppy chow, though, today, his penance. Is that who made that? Yeah. Fuck.
He's good.
He's nice with it.
He brought in cinnamon rolls and puppy cheese.
He's good.
He's nice with it.
Yeah.
He's a good baker.
He knows how to do the damn thing.
What else we got?
Well, we've done ball in a circle.
Yeah.
Dominated that.
Did you do that, Brandon?
No, you didn't do that.
No, I did it.
You tried.
I did the activity.
I did the activity.
Since when do you fucking work here?
It's a fact.
It's been going five minutes.
Y'all forgot me already.
Can we try and assign a point system to it?
One if you get it in a circle.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
If you get it on the stool it's worth something if you get it
in between the stool legs it's worth it hey you go do it now it's a new game it's just a stool
game now when we when it's being talked about on the tape it said get it on the stool che you go
do it okay che every time you miss article of clothing oh i like that oh yeah let's see how
confident you are how many individual articles articles of clothing has he got?
Like six?
I got a Bucks sweatshirt, Bucks t-shirt, drawers.
It sucked when you were playing a game like that
when your boys, they counted their hat as one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it did suck.
Yeah, when your boys were wearing a hat.
Strip beer pong with five dudes and one girl.
That would be awesome.
And then she just wins.
Yeah.
I'm naked with my boys.
By the way, game time.
Shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to the next big event.
Game time is a fast and easy way to buy tickets to all sports, music, comedy and theater events near you.
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I haven't talked.
Sorry.
I shouldn't read that part.
What are some.
I love the flash deals, the zone deals.
Zone deals.
I bought tickets to football, baseball, comedy.
You can buy tickets last minute.
Titus Kyle and I are going to a basketball game.
Where are you going?
Are you going to that one, Kyle, or are you just going to New Year's?
I thought I was going.
Did you buy a ticket?
Oh, West Virginia to Ohio State.
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Were we being too fine, Titus?
Were we trying to be too careful?
I don't know what you guys are doing.
I kicked mine too far.
It's insanely easy to do.
I would be more disappointed as Big Cat if Che gets this than you two.
I want Che to get it on like the fifth try.
I put like four on the line.
One of them went in. You never got on the line. One of them went in.
You never got it, though.
One of them went in.
With help from another ball, yeah.
Yeah, but it went in.
Is the game –
Go ahead, Che.
I don't know why he's –
Oh, my God.
Reading the pot.
Hit the goddamn ball.
Reading the pot.
Of course he's reading the pot.
Can't do this.
It's a wooden basketball court.
Can't do it normally.
It's not a normal human being.
Did he kick it or did he roll it?
He kicked it.
He kicked it.
Poorly, but he kicked it.
Nope.
A little more than that.
It's so funny how guys' brains work where we could just be so easily
distracted by ball.
I'm locked in.
Just a ball.
A ball.
I could watch someone play this forever. Yep. Just show me a ball and I'm like, I'm a ball i could watch i could watch someone play
this forever yep just show me a ball and i'm like i'm in oh this one could be good this is it
steven don't slow down yep good kick you got it sit it's too much wait that might wait out no it's
gone it's gone it's gone why was he running get back there on the line. It's very clear that that was not going to be in.
All right, but he's got it now.
He should know.
I do think therapy would be better for dudes if you just had like a catch with your therapist.
Or just, yeah, just bouncing a ball.
Like if someone bounces a ball around you, you're just like, throw me that ball.
Like a bullpen catcher that becomes a therapist and mixes the two.
That sounds like a good-ass show premise.
We are no different than dogs.
We're worse than dogs.
If you throw a tennis ball around me, I'm like, toss that ball.
What's he doing?
Why did he take a full one? He lined it up like a field goal.
Oh, he did.
He took two steps back and two steps forward.
He thinks he's Martin Grumatica, doesn't he?
Did he hurt himself on celebration or was that his brother?
I think it was Martin.
Was it Bill or Martin? Wait, how do you have which grammatica one martine and one bill martine
which grammatica hurt themselves bill bill do we can we watch that clip or no probably not
that was all time i i was saying it uh on pmt but i think i want that ball i think a punter
getting hurt is like the saddest thing that can happen.
Because like they don't even really use the full medical staff for him.
They just kind of let him stand there on the sideline being like, can you punt or no?
Like, you tell us.
We can't use resources.
Let us know.
That guy on the sidelines took out his leg turn back.
Oh, that way.
Fucked. Oh, it's awesome.
Yeah.
They didn't have anybody come up to him.
That was the other. No, they carted him him off he did it he did it he did it look at his pointer
oh steven he stole
there's the celebration one point yeah one, one point. So I'm up three to one.
I'm up three to one.
I got one point.
I got three points.
You got one.
You got three in the center.
Yeah.
That's up to you.
Oh, you're happy with just one? Yeah, three-one.
You don't want to win.
Oh, that's fine. I kicked it five, 3-1. You don't want to win. Oh, that's fine.
I kicked it five times, six times.
I got three points.
I would end it on that.
Yeah, I would just.
I'd be happy.
You should be happy with second place.
Yeah, you don't have to play to win.
Second place is really good.
You don't have to play to win.
Silver medals.
They remember silver medals.
Yeah, no, but it was one point.
Playing casually, not for the win is completely
fine you're not really a competitive yeah i think it's mature you don't really have that dog in you
you accept second place that's cool yeah yeah no well it's one point you got one point i got one
i got three points three points i got when we write it down it's gonna be big cat three up
the top and then you're gonna be right below below him. And people will be like, hey, good job. Steven competed.
Right.
You got a point.
He got three.
He got three.
All right, so three, one, and zeros all around.
Yeah.
Kyle, you want to give your – Well, somebody could beat Che, though, because he's only got one.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Steven, you're good.
You got second place.
No, Che, it's like that Tavon Austin video.
He got 500 yards against Oklahoma.
They end up losing that game.
Awesome video still.
Yeah, still.
At one point, we'll go a long way.
Save for that point.
One point has you firmly in second place.
You're not going to finish last.
I'm going to knock that one off.
Oh, my God.
You're good with it?
Go ahead, yeah.
He doesn't want to knock the one off the stool.
Steven's second place, Che.
That's good enough for him?
That's good enough for him. I would never. You're such a pussy, Che. I would never take second place Che. That's good enough for him? That's good enough for him.
I would never.
You're such a pussy, Che.
I would never take second place like that.
That was the best ball that's ever been kicked on that.
I would never take second place.
So you'll be fine when the Bucs lose it,
when they don't win the division every year and the Saints win it.
Yeah, second place.
Second place is fine.
You don't watch ball, brother.
See the Saints yesterday?
Oh.
I'm not actually.
You don't watch ball, brother.
I think you're all right, Che.
Being a guy who kicked it in once is a good spot to be in.
Oh, no.
Oh, that was.
He's got to figure it out.
He gave a little nod like, all right, that's all you're going to do, ball.
Look out.
OK.
That's not bad.
That's actually good.
That's not bad. I think that's going to gonna get there probably needs to roll a little bit oh no i think this is gonna get there kyle you go kyle
oh it's curling it's curling on you but it oh no wait no it knows how to evade that circle. It's pretty crazy.
Well, not for me.
This is a worst case scenario.
What?
You being so good at this.
Because then we're going to get it sold to talkies
and we're going to have to do it 90 times a week.
We're just going to be a ball kicking show.
God fucking damn it.
Yeah.
This is the entirety of the act.
What do we do on this show?
We kick balls in the circle.
Ball rolling show.
Like this one.
I don't.
It's going to curl too far.
Oh, no.
I need to slow down.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
It's not stopping.
Damn.
He's all around it, though.
This is going to break him.
It is.
He's going to be here late night.
Yeah.
Just kicking balls.
He likes it.
This could be a good Jerry after dark.
Yeah.
That's too strong.
He has to have five staying in there.
Yeah.
For every miss, he has to run a suicide.
I love that.
Nope.
Disgusted.
Oh, man.
That was tough.
I like it.
Slow down. Yeah, slow down. Slow down. Slow down.
Yeah, slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
That's a women's ball.
There were a few women's balls, so some of them.
Yeah.
That's what got us.
The inconsistency of the balls threw me off.
That's exactly why you guys couldn't get this.
Women's balls?
You lib?
Nope.
Ball-having persons.
Nope.
Hey, we really do have to figure out name wheel.
Oh, I got a bunch, yeah.
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow we launch the name wheel.
Tomorrow?
I'm actually, I have something.
Yeah, it's the big day.
Yeah, tomorrow we're going to do it. Tomorrow's name wheel day Name wheel reveal so everyone just to recap
Everyone has to come up with one thing
Titus you trying to give him credit
Well that wasn't the ball you kicked but yeah I would give him credit
You're trying to put a ball
Everyone has to come up with one thing
That can be done immediately
So that way we don't fuck ourselves
With doing a bunch of shit that
We never complete.
Okay.
Yeah.
Bauer.
Kyle.
How you doing?
Satisfied with that?
A little gut check.
A little demoralizing.
Yeah.
Mook, Nick, you guys want to take a shot?
Yep.
Yeah.
Nick, I am rooting for you to be just as good as me.
Yeah, no, I want you to.
Mince is almost.
Mince.
He almost left right on.
Yeah, what is he doing?
Y'all think we can somehow get Mince in the circle?
We should start putting banana peels on the court.
How can we figure out how to get him in the circle?
Have him stop.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, let's see.
Yeah, that's actually a way better game.
If we get him to walk to Nick, but then when he's walking back, we just.
Mincy.
Stop.
Go grab something from Nick.
Nick has something for you.
Nick, you got it in your pocket?
Nick.
Go grab it.
Meet in the.
No, no.
We can't have Nick in the middle as well.
Is he coming?
Is he coming?
Is he coming? Oh, he's. Why is he? Okay. All right. No, no, Nick.'t have Nick in the middle as well. Is he coming? Is he coming?
Oh, he's...
Why is he...
No, no, Nick, yeah, you go back.
Yeah, I get it.
Actually...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
No.
A little bit, then...
Come here for a sec.
Wait, if Nick doesn't have it...
No, stop right there, stop right there.
Where is it?
So Nick...
We did it.
A little bit for...
A little that way.
Yeah, all right.
We took some liberties there.
We got you.
That's the idea.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, you can go back to doing your coffee.
You're good.
Yeah.
What?
Okay, he's...
No, actually, wait.
Yeah, yeah, all right. that's a circle yeah yeah we gotta we gotta figure out a new game can't give any directions
he's amazing i'm fat i haven't been around that much i wasn't here but is he doing it live tomorrow
yeah oh the um the magician so i i'm gonna have us build a stage right where the uh I haven't been around him so much. I wasn't here, but is he doing it live tomorrow? Yeah. The magician.
So I'm going to have us build a stage right where the table is that we throw the football at.
Yeah.
So if we build a stage right there and we just put a single seat in front so like every day you can just see Mincy sitting front row for a magic show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
Mincy gets split in half every day.
So tired.
Too much.
I'm just so tired of getting split in half.
You want to...
Nick, try to hit it in the circle.
Oh.
Oh, that's good.
No, it's going to go left. It's going to gonna go out the one that feels like shit is when you when you know you have to barely touch it but then you barely touch it and it goes like
a foot and a half oh this could be good boy it'll be good it's gonna be good nick oh he did it well
oh yes yes on the star oh on a star. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah.
See?
Not that hard.
Titus and Brandon just.
Yeah.
Brandon.
It would be really embarrassing if they had a sports show.
Yeah, Brandon.
Mostly.
I got it in.
The thing is, I've made sports my entire personality, so I should be good at this. Go ahead.
Show them how it's done.
I talk about them every day.
Had a lot of heartbreak.
I don't.
I'll just say this.
On Friday for the Wiffleball Home Run Derby, it's an all-time mook moment.
And for those
at home, you know it's not good.
Yeah.
I'm going to go a little further. I'm going to say multiple
all-time mooks.
Yeah, maybe three.
Maybe three. Maybe three. Yes.
Pretty easy stuff.
It's not hard.
It's really not.
You have to be embarrassed to be the one guy that didn't get it right.
Women's ball?
Oh, no.
That counts.
Oh.
Wow, you can only kick a women's ball in there.
Oh, no.
That.
Mookie.
It's a little high.
A little bit too far.
He's got it, though.
It's a good first effort.
A little much on this side now, I think.
It's definitely way better to miss long than to block yourself.
Also, just missing anything short is just a real...
So if you block yourself, you can't do it.
Well, apparently not.
This might be good.
This might be good.
Did we build this on top of something?
No.
Hmm.
This is...
I'm locked in.
Yeah.
Way too much.
We should turn this into a video game.
TJ, can you do that for us
yeah
please make this a video game TJ
who's the guy that made
the Yak World Cup
can he make a
a flash game of this
I feel like this isn't that
complicated of a game
hold the kick
and then release the kick
this is like an
Atari 2600 level game
this could be good that's too much This is like an Atari 2600 level game.
This could be good.
That's too much.
You think so?
Way too much.
Wow.
Luke stinks at this. Mm-hmm.
Well, that's pretty good.
That's a pretty great.
That's pretty good, boys.
All right, Mook.
This is it. Start your celebration now. Mook, start walking in. Start your celebration. Make it good. That's a pretty great. That's pretty good, boys. All right, Mook, this is it.
Start your celebration now.
Mook, start walking in.
Start your celebration.
Make it good.
Walk it in, Mook.
Walk it in.
Oh, my God.
Center line.
Walk it in, Mook.
Walk it in, Mook.
Mook, your celebration.
No.
So close.
It was right there.
Damn.
It was right there.
Wait, it's rolling back.
Oh. Oh. He put a there. Wait, it's rolling back. Oh.
Oh.
He put a little English on it?
Yeah.
Guys, this would be great for scoring because if you can get penalties for going slightly long,
no penalties for going short.
I think it's one if it goes in.
Yeah.
You have one.
Might be the easiest scoring ever.
Multiple points for laying on a stool.
Multiple points laying on a star.
Multiplayers.
Now I don't know if this game is hard or easy.
It's very easy.
It's very easy.
Hard for some.
Easy for some.
With a women's ball.
I can never do anything right.
Every day.
Fuck you dad
That's it
Boys boys boys
Die on center
Oh my god
That's all
Oh my god
Yeah
Oh move
God this is easy
I don't think the camera's caught
He gave us a good cross chop
That was easy
Easy or hard
I needed that
Yeah
Mentally
Mentally physically
So
Spiritually
Just me and Titus
Couldn't do it
No you and KB
Couldn't do it
Me Titus and KB
They have the clip of me Kicking the ball and then stopped in the circle,
which I thought was the game.
Titus, you know.
All right, so the three of you go.
We're already gone.
No, no, no.
The three of you go right now in a kickoff.
I've already got it in.
No, he didn't.
Last one to get it.
I did the same as you.
I'm not calling a fire department.
Shut up about the fire department.
Last one to get a mousetrap. No, I will no. I'm not calling a fire department. Shut up about the fire department. Last one to get a mousetrap.
No, I will not.
I will quit.
Okay.
Well, just at least go.
We got to figure out who's the worst.
We have to figure out the worst.
Yeah, you got to figure out who the worst has to quit parcel now.
The three of you go a kickoff.
I'm going one.
Yeah, way to kick off.
You serious?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Titus, man, listen.
We clear the kickoff after someone gets it in.
I kicked the ball.
It stopped in the circle.
If this was like street rules, yeah, we'd count it.
But sorry, dude.
In what world does that not count?
Get out there.
Kickoff.
It's a pretty simple game.
You kick the ball.
It stops in the circle.
You win.
I kick the ball.
It stopped in the circle, and you're telling me I didn't win.
Who's to say?
Get out there.
We have to find out who's to get out there we have to
find out who's the worst i need titus to be the worst we have i need it i need it it's titus or
brandon we're all rooting for kb i don't know because kb would have a meltdown yeah he would
he would stick around it's a good three it's a very good three Oh Oh It's coming back
Wait a minute
Let's rock
All right
Kickoff starts now
Brandon
You go first
I think when we make
The video game for this
Like everybody
Everybody should have stats
Right
And like Brandon's
Would be really low
Yeah
I'm a hundred out of everything
Yeah
Yeah No no One one one Everybody should have stats, right? And, like, Brandon's would be really low. Yeah, I'm 100 out of everything. Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no.
1-1-1.
No, no.
1-1-1.
They're going to collide.
They'll collide otherwise.
And then when someone gets it in, you clear all the balls and it goes to two. My diarrhea is back
Really?
I shit my pants on Friday a little bit
Saturday, Saturday
Stop Brandon
Brandon, what the fuck dude?
He's such a little baby
He's such a baby
You're ruining the funnest game we've ever created
Why do you think it's back?
Because I have diarrhea.
His 3D modeling.
That would be why.
That's a good call.
No, I farted in my car on Saturday.
And it turned to poop?
Yeah.
Ugh.
Listen, it happens like once or twice a year.
Yeah.
Oh, Titus!
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Oh, no. Oh, no. no oh no oh no oh man oh wait no titus is not good this is bad. Not even close.
Yeah, it's not even close.
Connor, you can clear bad ones that are in front.
Give the sanctity of the game.
Let the boys have a chance.
Come on, KB.
Oh, this is good.
It's going the wrong direction. Yeah, these guys just don't got it.
They just are really bad at this game that's very simple for the rest of us.
It's really sad when you think about it.
See, Titus was doing the same thing as me.
Yeah, I saw that.
That was not a kick.
Wait, is he walking this off?
No.
No, I heard you try to say
I did the same thing I kicked him.
No, you did the same thing
at the top of your foot at the top of your foot.
Or the bottom of your foot.
I love how mad this is getting them.
They're so angry.
I like seeing Titus pressed.
Oh, Brandon was walking his.
I hope this lasts for an hour.
Yeah, I do too.
I'm actually enjoying watching.
Yeah.
It's very peaceful.
It's almost like golf.
And when this comes out on Xbox and shit,
I think we should really capture the hardness.
Do you think it'll be a free game or should we charge?
$9.99.
$9.99.
We'll make it free for a little bit.
Whoa. Oh. What? I like that. See, he's doing the same thing that I did. Whoa Oh
What?
I like that
See he's doing the same thing that I did
So I want it
I want it on the record
That I got it on my first, second, and like fifth try
Oh Titus
Oh
We need KB to get this
Very badly
I want it to be Titus and brandon i want
i think i want brandon to lose because i like watching him lose everything
and then we'll just never play this game again no that's the best part i mean we'll have to
we'll have to when we launch the game we'll have to probably do an episode like a special episode
where we play it yeah well that'll be an ad deal oh yeah oh this is good and when they ran and got it fuck brandon got it
all right brandon come on back did it so happy job brandon good job good job brandon did it not
that hard right not that hard i don't know what they're doing yeah exactly they look like idiots
join us join us is sam laporta the best rookie tight end of all time he's so good he's just two Yeah, exactly. They look like idiots out there. Join us. Join us.
Is Sam Laporta the best rookie tight end of all time?
He's so good.
Just two D1 athletes.
Wow. Oh, this could be good, though, from KB.
If it has legs.
Yes. Yes, KB.
Oh, no.
Titus has one last chance.
No, Titus went first.
Okay, well, let's give him one last chance. One last chance.
Connor, get that ball out.
This could be good.
So we all three did it
in the same...
But you three have to
have a roll-off then.
Yeah, you guys have to.
Well, not really.
You guys all just did it.
Sudden death.
Not really.
You did it with no pressure there Titus
I did it like my fourth try
No you didn't
So Titus was the worst
Titus was the worst
He went first
Good job KB
Does it feel good
It's like an itch you have to scratch
I've got two
You've got three.
You have zero.
I have two.
One.
One.
He has one.
You have one.
You don't have two.
Well, I got two in.
Well, if you had two, you wouldn't have been in the final three.
I saw we tweeted it out.
Who should the unlockable characters be?
Bill Clinton.
Yeah.
He-Man.
Yeah, those two, I guess. Yeah bachelor guy zach no shock yeah dude he's been texting me about the case race coming up he's going to be my partner in the
case race can he drink he put down eight he put down eight yesterday he put down eight yeah it's
pretty good for sunday yeah hey can we see if Mincy's doing his warm-up?
He's over there.
Is he doing his warm-up?
He's robed up.
Oh, yeah.
Look at this.
I don't know if I like this not in the kitchen.
Also, we're going to let him wear the shoes.
He wouldn't wear shoes if he just woke up.
Is there a kitchen somewhere he could rent?
That was the best, that he would leave his house to go to a different kitchen.
Look at this.
He's got like 16 people working.
What the fuck?
This is the most expensive show we do.
I did request a very similar video pixel wall for this studio and was turned down.
So I'm glad that we got one that went to different resources. does he does he technically have the most expensive set in the office i think
so i mean he's got six dudes around him oh my it's also it's not gonna like it's gonna look good
with a blinding light wall behind them we gotta hope not right, right? Yeah, right. You don't really want the lights to be behind
you. It'd actually be cool if they
flashed so people
who had seizures couldn't watch.
Should we just watch this
trial run? Tell them to
start. Can you punch into them or no?
There's over a million dollars a year of salary
working on this, right? Easily.
He makes $850,000. Right, so we could just barely over a million. a year of salary working on this, right? Easily. Unless he makes $850,000.
Right, so we could just barely over a million.
And he has six producers all making $20,000.
Just shy of a million.
We might be able to get him in the center by not saying anything.
Yeah, you want to give it a try?
It might just natural.
How are we going to do it, though?
Yeah, this is like the screensaver bouncing out.
Oh, yeah.
DVD hits the corner.
Yeah, the DVD logo hitting the corner of the TV.
I think we just do like a cardboard box with like a stick propped up.
Yeah.
What would we put underneath?
Maybe even nothing.
He's one of a kind. did you bring his coat back oh i haven't told him about it yet yeah that was a
little that was very nefarious of you brandon was like i mince he left his coat at my house so if we
want to do something oh what do you mean i guess i should just bring it oh i thought i could it's
his coat i i thought we could have a yak oh i thought i could it's coat i i thought
we could have a yak where i would just be wearing the coat and oh yeah that works yeah yeah that's
that's good i like that see that tomorrow i want to see how long i can wear it around him before he
yeah yeah no i like that
all right should we spin our wheel can you film a video of you in it tonight, like outside?
Yeah.
I can do everything in that coat.
I'll do a promo for a week.
You want me to fuck in the coat?
You want me to fuck in the coat?
I mean, that's pretty innovative.
I've never heard of a coat.
Take a shit in the coat.
You've never fucked in a coat?
No, not just a coat.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nothing else but just a coat.
Tough showing by your fan base yesterday.
What happened?
I saw a lot of videos of them being douchey as hell.
Eagles?
Booing a 10-1 team.
Pelting people with snowballs.
This wasn't outside the stadium?
It wasn't snowing yesterday.
Fuck, I got duped.
Must have been an old game.
You guys lost on Dom Day and Rocky Day
I know
Yesterday was official Rocky Day
It was Rocky Day?
Yeah
Yesterday
Was he there?
That was our juice
That was Dom brought us back to life
What's live there?
I don't know
Jeff Nadeau actually has the inside scoop on Dom
Let me find it
He has a picture of him in a track suit, right?
Well, he...
Pretty much everything he ever needed to know about Dom,
he sent me.
He said, just FYI.
Like Islamist bitches talk.
Nadeau also congratulated me on converting to Islam.
So I think he...
Wait, are you...
You are?
We made him convert to Islam to his mom.
Oh.
Congrats.
She wasn't happy.
As-salamu alaykum. As-salamu alaykum.
As-salamu alaykum.
Hmm?
As-salamu alaykum.
As-salamu alaykum.
Is that what you say, Matt?
I think so.
Wait, is this another producer?
Does he have a team of seven?
Yeah.
Mincy being like the biggest team is such a funny show.
Yeah, I want someone to purposely fluster him.
Yeah, he's like he's Ellen.
He's like bashing.
Everyone else doesn't give any eye contact.
He's got so many people taking pictures.
Well, one of them is Vasoli who's just throwing up the camera on everything.
There's a lot of stress here it's chaotic
i sent it to you tj the the dom inside scoop
can we try to get away to keep keep Mincy up real late tonight?
Get him to oversleep.
Yeah.
We should call him.
What?
Someone's got to invite him to like a late movie.
TJ?
What?
Get him to play Fortnite with you.
Yeah.
TJ.
Invite him.
Tell him to squat up
A little background on Dom DeSandro
He's from South Philly then moved to North Philly
From what I know played high school football
Then went to Penn State and played football
He didn't appear in a game
Kicked off team for unknown reasons
Hired in 1999 likes Likes tracksuits.
That's it. This is all Googleable.
Very extensive. I don't know if you guys saw
that's inside sources right there. You could have guessed
all of that. Yeah.
His job description is quite cryptic. It said he's
an advisor, coaches and players and acts as the front
office, off field, eyes and ears and reports
directly to Lurie. He's just a fixer.
Keep going. It said that he also acts to
pretext players.
Pre-text?
Text them to wake up?
Yeah.
Handling problems.
A guy like this can only exist on a few franchises.
Yeah.
He's perfect for Philly.
If he was on the Chargers, you would be like, this doesn't work.
Yeah.
Not at all.
Why the fuck is this guy on the sideline?
Get him out of here. And I think there's probably some eagles fans that were like drake greenlaw is really good and he got kicked out as well but they were like that's not a fair
trade yeah we lost dom well connor grivett said to us that we we blew our dom game as though like
that was yeah like he legitimately thought that like you only like, the team was going to rally around Dom getting ejected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fives were high.
You don't understand.
Why would they rally around Dom getting ejected?
Dude, the stadium was electric.
The second the Niners got the ball back, they just put you guys away.
I know.
Yeah.
They scored a touchdown in, like, seven straight drives.
They're really fucking good.
Debo, dude.
Yeah.
Debo's a problem.
Debo's a problem.
They got, like, 12 problems.
Yeah, so many. Every team has looked horrible at least two times,
two to three times this year.
Horrible.
We were due for that ass kicking.
The Niners haven't really.
They lost six rounds.
When they're healthy.
They lost three straight.
Well, Debo and Trent Williams.
When they're fully healthy, they've been fucking wrecking everybody.
That's true. And now they're fully healthy, they've been fucking wrecking everybody. That's true.
And now they're fully healthy again, right?
Makes a difference.
You guys don't think the Dolphins can make it? I do.
I do.
I now believe in the Dolphins.
Harry Kill's amazing.
Yeah.
Who's playing the game?
Who just kicked that ball?
Who did that?
Who did that?
Who kicked that ball?
Who's playing our game?
Not on that end.
No. It's not one of those
20 guys can we what whoever escaped it was a phantom phantom kick it was a ghost what if it
went in just dead center like a goodwill hunting situation oh here we go we're punched in so white so bright
it's going to look let's keep wake up yeah very white
they should just do a green screen behind them but like that he can't tell what's on it so that
they could put a bunch of like spiders or like a roller coaster pov spider
he's texting he's texting his agent right now
Being like these fucks don't know what to do
Did he
He messed up his hair on purpose
Yeah
What a guy
Alright let's spin our wheel
Everyone Barstool Survivor tonight
Surviving Barstool
$9.99 we talked about it on Friday.
Obviously, if you don't want to spend the money,
totally understand.
So it'll be free after the finale.
I do think it's worth it.
Seven episodes.
It's going to be great.
There's a lot of twists and turns coming up.
So, yeah.
It's going to be...
I highly recommend it,
but I totally understand people who don't want to
for whatever reason that may be.
Venmo request me.
Venmo request Nick.
Yeah.
Do it.
There you go.
And let's spin our wheel.
Does it get crazier?
Like, would the YouTube page have been taken down?
Does, like, are things...
Speaking of crazy...
Fucking A. Shower back yet back yet it's gonna get me
what the all right yeah let's do this yeah let's have fun with it che maybe that'd be a good
yeah nobody extra on the show well mincy mincy mincy mincy mincy i guess hank too please mincy fasoli fasoli yes only was in the
room so they would just run out and dive into the nearest body of water yeah for us yes yeah mincy
talked so mincy's on there i think i've brought this up before but like the first trip we went
on with fasoli might have been the first he just brought up out of nowhere how he would take a
bullet for you and dave yeah because you he would take a bullet for you and Dave.
Yeah.
Because he knows if he died for you guys, you'd take care of his family.
He has no wife or kids.
But I was the first thing he said.
Yeah.
I was like his icebreaker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would take care of his family.
I think I just have to pay the rest of his lease.
I think that's it.
Yeah.
No problem. take care of his family. Yeah. I think I just have to pay the rest of his lease. I think that's it. Yeah. Yeah.
No problem.
I wouldn't even be,
I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Take a bullet.
So you think we're the presidents?
I think, yes.
He might.
Maybe I should have him come.
We should actually.
He wants to be the Dom of barstool we should live
like set up someone like accosting me yeah let's see what that would work
no i would work too easily oh but like what if fasoli shoots him yeah that is also a possibility
he's been learning like karab maga or something. He has this uncontrollable bloodlust rage.
I've been waiting for this moment.
All right, TJ, do this fucking thing.
I'm going to do the rundown.
This is going to suck. well deserved
I donated to a fucking firehouse today dude
I shouldn't be on
yeah you did
yeah What's happening with the sound?
Oh, man.
It's going to be me.
Mince. Mince.
Mince.
Mincey would be the greatest ever.
The greatest.
Ever.
Yep.
There you go.
There you go, Nick.
I can tell.
Don't take your shoes off now.
Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm tell. Don't take your shoes off now. Are you nervous?
Yeah, I'm nervous.
Now I'm very nervous.
Taking my shoes off.
Hold on now.
It's not going to be you, Brandon.
No, no, no!
Fuck.
Fuck.
Big guy, you're screwed. This sucks no, no. Fuck. Fuck. Big cat, you're screwed.
This sucks.
Screwed.
There you go, big cat.
No, no, no.
Yes.
Yes.
Shoes back on.
Che kind of deserves it for the gift.
Yeah, Che does deserve it.
Best of four. There you go, Brandon. Brandon up one. She deserves it for the gift. I want to see some pants. Yeah, she does deserve it.
Best of four.
There you go, Brandon.
Brandon up one.
No piss for you.
No peeing.
There we go.
All right.
Oh.
Whoa.
The wheel is talking. What's?
Whoa.
What the hell?
That was kind of funny.
Okay.
What is happening?
Okay.
All right.
Who knows?
The wheel had to get some shit off its chest.
It's going through it.
Yeah.
Is it one nothing?
One one.
One one.
Is the shower operational?
Do we know?
There's no more sound on the door.
I'll go check.
All right.
Two.
So I got two. Now I'd like to get three.
Two two.
Any plans tonight Brando?
Watch you get wet.
Yeah. Damn talking pretty shit. Brando watch you get wet yeah damn talk
pretty late get wet and then fucking a
coat what if you really like fucking in
a coat oh no what is it three three
reese it's threes you talked your shit
keep yapping kids happy you talk about Threes. It's threes? You talked your shit.
Keep yapping.
Keep yapping.
It's not going to be you.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
See you, bud.
Brandon yapped. He did. Brandon yapped.
He did.
He yapped.
Talked shit way too early there.
The wheel heard the yap.
And there's Mincy dry as a whistle.
Dry as a whistle.
Yeah, that was the wrong one.
I got Monday brain, dude.
Clean as a bone. Min he's just telling everyone about wake
up mincey right now yeah just letting everyone know is he keeping the same i i missed the
discussion with him is he keeping the same uh format of like cooking breakfast and
doing his hair and getting ready maybe a a little more less chaotic, a little more structured.
Okay.
I mean, it was only like seven episodes last time, right?
Yeah, so we never really.
I just worry like the diehard Wake Up Mincy fans
are going to want to see him making breakfast.
Yeah.
You're used to consistency.
But that would take a kitchen.
I know.
We don't have that.
I don't know how the fans are going to take it, though.
Not using the kitchen is crazy.
It's so crazy. It's's crazy it's literally right there he's just in front of a video board
instead that's gonna blind us yeah it should be a green screen that's so bright i think you gotta
make the video board be a picture of a big boy pants him into the kitchen no man no i got it
i like being able to see the fucking kitchen in the background.
Maybe tomorrow for my guest appearance, I just do it from the kitchen.
Yeah.
Yep.
Zoom in.
I refuse to be.
Yeah.
Yeah, I should zoom in from the kitchen.
He's got them all laughing right now.
I'm holding court.
Boys, what's going on with the trial run?
Delay?
What's the delay?
I think you know what it is.
Oh, you got to wait till we're done?
Why?
Why isn't he doing it in the kitchen?
No, they're quiet now.
He told them to shut the fuck up.
Mincy, I think you should...
The kitchen...
Oh my gosh.
Yes, Big Cat?
The kitchen. Well,
the consigliere and team said we've decided to use the big video board and props
instead of the kitchen. What are you going to have on the back of the video board?
Right now, it's my logo, but we're going to have a kitchen set on the back of it.
You're going to have a picture of a kitchen set?
You're going to actually have a picture of a kitchen set?
You're going to have a kitchen?
I like that idea.
That's what I was told.
Yeah, that's pretty funny.
Yeah, you know what?
Might as well go with what we got.
We have a real three-dimensional kitchen.
You literally have a kitchen.
And it's like 10 feet away.
And it has cameras set up.
I sent it up the chain.
And they said, no, we want to go.
How high up does the chain go?
Where are you on the chain?
I'm merely here for entertainment, you know.
I mean, I don't know.
But I'm excited.
I am too.
Long time coming.
Mince, would you do me a favor?
Take a basketball to the baseline and just try to kick it
and make it
stop in the circle in the middle okay mincy also um when you talk sports on wake up mincy i want
to maybe see on the video board like a basketball court or something okay yeah yeah i'm also
thinking uh we're i'll have a new youtube channel out here in the next couple hours it's just
getting graphics and all that stuff up nice but what do y'all think because yak y'all y'all have
the brain cells for this.
To build it, I've seen all the crazy gimmicks people do.
The two ideas I have are for every 1,000 subscribers,
no matter what I'm doing in life, like I could be in The Office or not,
I have to just do a video.
Oh, no.
I have to do a video.
Oh, my God.
Never mind.
Holy shit.
To be continued.
The wettest.
Oh, my God.
He's wet. The shower works. The wettest. Oh, my God. He's wet.
The shower works again?
The shower works.
Is it a warm shower?
Not really, no.
Oh, my God.
You got so wet.
It's the name of the wheel.
It still hits.
It still hits just to watch someone walk in just so wet.
You are the wettest I've seen in years.
That nipple is sharp, dude.
Yeah, you work here.
Yeah, you're back.
You need to convince Mincy to use the video board to get shots of every piece of the office without using it.
That's what I was saying, the basketball court.
Oh, Mincy, first shot.
Oh. Oh.
Damn.
All right.
All right.
That was the show.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Great yak.
Name wheel tomorrow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Name wheel.
Sure.
Sure.
It's the yak.
It's the yak. We'll be right back. See you tomorrow.
Bye.