The Yak - KB Pulled Up to the Office in Some HEAT | The Yak 9-14-23
Episode Date: September 14, 2023Only in ChinaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, BJ, hold that up.
What is up? It's the Yak.
Look at this crew.
Mark Titus. I've never intro'd it before.
But it is the Yak.
Nick just got scammed out of a large sum of money.
He'll be out shortly to explain. I don't know if you want me to say that.
His first authentic Chicago experience.
Oh, shit.
Like, for real, for real?
Yeah, right outside this office.
Yeah, 500 bucks, right?
I think that's what he said.
Yeah, I think he said.
Basically got robbed $500, but it was like.
He says he has some good excuses,
but I don't know if there is one when that happens.
Someone takes your phone.
Oh, someone took his phone?
Is that him?
Yep.
Where's the...
What's going on?
Why am I one of three people sitting on this?
Where is everybody
there's nick you have to do the roback ad should i do off the top or what
um today's episode is brought to you by roback the comfiest the most fashionable the best fitting
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did you mention the q-zips yet i I mentioned you getting scammed, but yeah.
Oh, I don't want to talk about that.
Well, you know what's not a scam?
Quarter zips, T-shirts, long sleeve shirts.
A four-way wicking fabric.
Joggers.
That's not a scam.
No, it's not a scam at all.
It's quite nice, and you can get 20% off with code YAK.
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So you got the scale.
Yeah, I don't really want to talk about it,
but thank you, Kate.
No, it's good. Yeah, i made it 15 days in chicago no it's my fault um anyways where's chef donnie he's back i don't know if he's back on the
internet i think he has a couple more days in france oh wait really am i are we not
allowed to talk about that either i don't know there's a lot of yeah a lot of taboo topics
i'm just embarrassed i mean this the story is not too embarrassing no but i don't it's not even
something worth talking about is it like trista crick level no okay no i kind of just got strong
i got assaulted yeah but it's whatever whatever. It was my own fault.
It was broad daylight.
Also, look at what I'm wearing.
I'm wearing my DirecTV.
I'm the most jumpable guy in the city wearing my DirecTV.
Thanks, Maresh, for getting me this.
He knew what would happen.
As you were telling me the story big
t sitting like in the couch right next to us and he he had he had airpods in and he could like hear
you talking about being basically robbed you're robbed in chicago and oh my god the boner that
this guy got where he was he like starts taking the airpods i was like you know what you should
have done yeah that was and you look at a guy like me and you're like that guy could win a 10 on one
fight um but i didn't do it yeah it was 10 guys yeah eight to ten it all happened so fast um
we're good it won't ever happen i don't think it's it's not worth it for them is it i mean
like they're gonna have to split the money up no they took enough no no i'm glad we're talking about this this is good i think it's hilarious
um yeah where's everybody else i'm so annoying i really want to know what happened yeah
that's okay big cat and brandon on the. This wouldn't happen if you were working remote.
Yeah.
I get it now.
Yeah.
That's, yeah.
Yeah.
It's got out of control.
Yeah.
God damn it.
No, good day.
I'm sorry.
No, I feel good.
Okay.
Because, like, the thing is, like, what was I going to spend that money on anyway?
Things I like?
Spend?
Things I need?
Necessities? spend that money on anyway things i like things i need necessities uh no it's not like i just got done with a move that was expensive oh so no that's good yeah kyle nice shoes these are my
jarens where the fuck are jarens i keep i have a lot of patches i didn't even It's like a 10 year old cleft
Pallet survivor who designed his own
Nike Vomeros
Those are sweet
Do you think so?
Yes like genuinely I think they're cool
You said you wore them once
And you realized you were all shoe
I was wearing all black in these
I looked in the reflection and I was like yeah
I'm all shoe
With the yellow though it looks really good yeah but these like i would wear them
as a joke but i can't just like wear these no that's tough yeah it does look good though there
we do have the luxury of a job where you can have items of clothing that you can
they're yeah insane but they're warranted like oh i could, oh, these are work clothes for me. This is like my best brothers.
Are you a sneakerhead in general?
No, no.
I tried to be.
I bought a pair of Olympic 7 Jordans once.
That was my attempt, and then they were fake,
and it was revealed to me in embarrassing fashion
by a sneakerhead at a party in Kent State.
And he just pointed out, hey, those are fake.
You can tell by the leading red.
And everyone saw it, and I was like, what do I do?
Yeah.
Are you?
Absolutely not.
I'm a basic bitch when it comes to shoes.
I got my white Air Maxes.
And those make you a little bit taller, which you need.
Yeah.
No, I'm scared. I get scared with shoes anytime if i
put those on i would just i would stare at the mirror and be like i can't do this i can't pull
these off he should have done that um but the patches are there other names yeah i don't know
what it is is team j j jaron josie and joely i't know. So it just automatically comes to this whole...
Yeah, I didn't even realize this was a little extra treat.
It's like the dongles on Crocs.
Why did you make them...
They shouldn't be symmetrical.
You should do one...
You should do different color Nike checks.
The pixelated dragon check.
You have pixelated...
Wait, you didn't choose the pixelated dragon
as your first check?
It doesn't quite fit the check, but...
Ooh.
Yeah, these look good on camera.
They look great on camera.
Maybe this is how I roll. This one's stupid. Yeah, this is how I roll. Yeah, he look good on camera. They look great on camera. Maybe this is how I roll.
Yeah, this is how I roll.
He's a bit over cocky for beating
Clef Palette. But you're also going monochromatic.
Yeah. Jesus.
And no disrespect
to the Clef Palette kid but I actually think
the sweatshirt is the star of the... This is Nick's
sweatshirt. Put on Prince.
I'm a dresser. We're starting to
have a fit off every day
we're gonna post the pics to anus account and we rudy's gonna win nuke's gonna lose is how it works
i mean i don't know why we're trying we're gonna get second and third every day hovering in that
area we will always podium i've been buying a lot of shit for my apartment like a lot of
knickknacks and paintings and posters what What'd you get? And I keep getting packages directed to Frank Fleming.
You sent a picture today that everything,
it's your address, but it's going to Frank Fleming.
Yeah, and every time it happens,
the front desk has to call me and I have to explain,
no, this is actually for me.
I was like, what the hell is this?
And I realized years ago,
I changed my Apple ID name to frank fleming so that when i text
it i would fake texts from frank from my own phone and now if i buy something with apple pay it comes
to frank fleming you changed your entire apple id right no i just changed my my my own might put my
number as the contact frank fleming I guess that changes the Apple ID
and so all your stuff that you buy
on Apple Pay I would always fake text
from him like
you're basically just pranking yourself
like him saying what you want
at 2am
what is your
sense of style in your house
like how do you decorate the house?
Do you hang up posters?
Do you hang up paintings?
I tried the poster route, too.
You have plants?
I failed miserably.
You have the Boondock Saints poster.
You have the Pink Floyd butts poster.
Saturdays are for the boys flag.
Saturdays are for the boys flag.
Signed by Feidelberg.
The Yeti butts poster.
What's Yeti butts?
Oh, it's a bunch.
It's kind of like the Pink Floyd poster, but it's sexy butts sitting on a Yeti. On a Yeti butts poster. What's Yeti butts? Oh, it's a bunch. It's kind of like the Pink Floyd poster, but it's sexy butts sitting on a Yeti.
On a Yeti cooler.
I thought you meant like the cryptid.
Oh, that too.
That would be cool.
Yeah.
I have nothing.
Just all white.
Brightest apartment.
My place, decor'd out the wazoo.
You do have a lot of cool things.
I feel like you would have a good like.
Before I left New York, I hired Maresh's girlfriend to draw.
She's phenomenal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She drew my favorite bars in New York.
So those are hanging up in my,
yeah.
Shout out Fish Market.
Shout out Whiskey Tavern.
Fish Market's the best.
Yeah.
I'm renting a house that,
the people left a lot of shit.
And one of the,
where I put my car keys is a,
it has like three pictures.
And then they have like hooks on the keys.
But the pictures are, it's just the stock photos.
And so I'm trying to decide whether like they lived in this house that way
for years and just like bought it and threw up the stock photos.
Or if they bought it and put up the stock photos or if they bought
it and put it up for us um and it's it's all very confusing but like that there's a lot of that
around the house that i don't really want to touch because i have to move out in the spring but uh
it's a weird it's a weird setup there's there's the decor choices are not what i would go with
but uh what what is yours like just sports memorabilia? Yeah. Signed baseball. Yeah.
I'm renting the house from a Canadian guy.
He's got like Canadian flags all over the place.
So that's kind of interesting.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
It's a good flag.
Saskatchewan.
There's like a bar area in the house and there's like a Saskatchewan beer company, like a big like sign.
Sounds cool.
Those are things I would buy.
Has the B done anything else
besides paint the door black he has done a ton he actually hired a guy who calls himself the
drywall goat of chicago to come in and do a ton of stuff and pat didn't realize that once a room
gets painted if you try to paint little spots on it it does not blend so he got the whole thing painted and then
did a couple things and and tried to like what when you put the white stuff over holes or whatever
and repaint it and so he splotched the entire like you can walk in and just it just looks
completely fucked um that we put in a cat house underneath our stairs oh uh for his so that's
exciting um you show me and i love it it's yeah it's a little
we got it all set up now it's is it seven feet like kyle's it's yeah it's enormous and it doesn't
use it at all but then i went to they had this like art festival here on sunday where you go to
booth to booth and you actually like meet the artists and stuff like that which is bad for me
because i'm such a sucker that once i start talking to somebody and I met this artist who was like I'd argue I'm a bigger sucker but proceed that's true
but like I don't have something funny wait speaking of suckers what is the deal wait
wait I want to hear it's cake wait I need I need something to relate to here oh no nothing just
I started talking to this artist and I don't have like a ton of money to be spending on art right now.
Like we have two daycare, but like all this shit coming up.
And the lady was just a mess.
She was like, I'm, you know, here's the part of the painting where the dog bit the tail
of the whatever, like whatever.
I ended up spending $350 on a, it's a bird that looks angry.
And as I was buying it, I was like, I shouldn't be doing this.
I really shouldn't be buying the $350. You photo of the you bought angry birds it's a bird it's a
robin red breast it's a painting of a robin red breast that's just like ah that looks angry and
i spent and i was like where's it at in your home it's in the kitchen yeah as it yeah and it says
the early bird gets the worm and the earlier bird gets the first pick of the donut it says something super like yeah 350 dollars well she was like well yeah if you gotta buy it with the frame because you're
the kind of lady she's like we're on the same energy she's like you're not gonna get that
framed so you got robbed too yeah maybe maybe one of the guys maybe the guys that robbed you
nick one of one of those and they couldn't that's what yeah that's yeah that's what she's the money
like you know as you're buying something you're like like, oh, no, God, oh, no. And you can't stop because you have no backbone.
That's what happened there.
Cute bird, though.
What, a za?
You're getting sucked off?
No.
No, no, no.
I mean, as soon as the whole burner thing came up, you know, the count being a month old, I had my antenna out.
Brandon's the one that got got.
Brandon got got.
But there's still a girl out there
that wants you bad.
And that's got to feel good.
Yeah, that's still real.
Just this one is just not as easy as you thought.
Yeah.
Do you think he misremembered the name?
Yes.
He admitted to it.
That was the one thread holding this together.
And he said, yeah, I fucked up the name.
I know exactly how it played out.
He forgot the name.
Then he saw the picture of the dwarf. Yeah, he girl the girl's name that dm'd him was little
brandy he was like yeah i bet you that girl's name was little brandy that's the most that was
this the guy the idiot who got us so got over on us that was the most obvious catfish ever little
brandy five no followers and the guy's at brandon's number for time, and he used to be a pick central caller.
Oh, wait, it was a guy that used to be a Brandy?
He called himself Brandy.
Just a female version of Brandy.
Oh, wait, Brandy, like Brandon.
This isn't going to work.
No chance this will work.
Yeah, this guy lobbed up a full court shot.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, he's been pranking Brandon for like the past two years or so.
And Brandon got got again.
Shout out to Church.
I gave one of my buddies a...
Shout out to who?
Church.
Is that a dude?
He's the WOTE?
He's...
He sounds awesome.
He does pranks,
but they're not always funny pranks.
Sometimes they're unfunny.
What are the unfunny pranks?
Just like being annoying, basically.
I gave my buddy,
who's a wrestling fan,
Brandon's number
and told him
to start text because he would text me his wrestling thoughts and i was like just text
brandon and he he does and brandon has no idea he's never met the guy has no idea who he is
but will occasionally my friend will then like screenshot and send it back and like he and
brandon will just talk like he'll just he'll just send him something like i can't believe
reigns won last night what the fuck and? And then Brandon will just write him back.
And this has been going on for a little while.
And I've never told Brandon that I did this.
I put him up to this.
But my buddy just like, yeah, he'll just text Brandon.
He'll watch a pay-per-view, text Brandon. And Brandon, if I got a text from a number I didn't know, I would just ignore it.
Brandon just engages and is talking with a stranger.
If I have one sip of booze, I will start engaging.
I have two unknown
numbers right now that for months
I've been, because I don't want to
hurt their feelings that I've
been engaging with. I have no idea who they are.
I respond every single time.
I know them. We're buddies.
If you have the same area code as me, I'm like,
oh, fuck, I'm a dickhead. Didn't save their number. will answer and i was like dude miss you grab a drink i linked up with
a dude that i thought was somebody else in new york oh you like met up yeah yeah i'm an idiot
did you play the second you saw them did you just play it off like oh yeah yeah and they were like
dude thanks for doing this is so cool of you. I was like, yeah, I guess it is. I have a question.
If you were horny hours enough, would you be willing to roll the dice with a possible catfish?
Like, like sexting wise?
Oh, no.
Fuck no.
Fuck no.
Don't do nothing for me.
Sexting in context is like why you're doing it.
I'd imagine is uh cool
but then if it ever got out it is it's got to be the the cringiest like non-horny reading back
sex oh yeah it's not good it's never good no it's just me lying just like yeah i mean i've never
done it yeah never even once Not even like one or two?
It doesn't feel right.
Yeah.
That's not the type of writing I do.
No.
I just don't.
It's my gift.
Yeah.
I'm more of a nonfiction guy.
Yeah, I'm, uh, I could not, I don't think I could bring myself to take a picture of my penis.
I just, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think I can bring myself to take a picture of my penis I just I don't know
Yeah I don't know
No dicks are probably photogenic right
There's gotta be a couple
It's the lighting
You gotta get the right lighting
Yeah but it's
The hand or not I don't know
I don't do it
I don't do it
For fear of also it just leaking.
Because if you send one, there's no way she's the only one looking.
Oh, she's showing all her friends.
Yeah.
I never showed...
Steven would. He's the type of guy...
Steven, have you ever sent a dick pic?
That shocks me, kind of.
Yeah, I guess...
Have you ever taken a dick pic but not sent it?
Oh, wow.
There's a guy who...
Donnie, have you ever sent a dick pic?
Okay, wait, come here.
No, no, no.
I didn't assume.
Have a seat. here no no no i didn't i didn't assume yeah um let's see uh yeah at one point there was like a rando out in shanghai that was just
sending me a bunch of nudes and um i thought i was being catfished but then like I told her to write my name on a piece of paper and take a photo
of her holding it up and she did that so I was like all right this chick I guess is a real person
that I could maybe see physically at some point um and she would just send me the raunchiest vids
of all time and uh like was she would send me vids raunchiest of all time no just like she would just send me the raunchiest vids of all time and uh like was she would send me
vids raunchiest of all time no just like she would just send me vids of her pleasuring herself
and she kept on asking for something back and after i confirmed it was a real person at one
point i sent her something back was it the first take a photo or was it like third or fourth
it's probably it was probably the third or fourth.
Oh, if I'm in China or anywhere in a different country, I'm, I'm letting it fly.
Yeah.
You're letting the dick.
I'm in a different country where there's no, no stoolies.
I don't, yeah.
I don't give a shit if the Chinese are passing.
I'm WhatsAppping.
You're WhatsAppping your dick?
Yeah.
She wasn't, she wasn't Chinese. The second you touched down in china york i guess yeah dude i guess so yeah
oh yeah i probably would too it just it's different
i did snail mail once went overseas and it was literally i had like stick figure drawing
of yourself i'm like here's what we're gonna do when and it was stick figures um that's bad
were you was it was it meant to be funny or was it meant to be horny it was meant to be horny. It was like, yeah.
When were you overseas?
What years?
2008 and 2010.
But we were engaged.
I was engaged at the time.
And we were both, we were long distance. And so snail mail wrote a couple spicy lines and then a stick figure drawing of,
it was me getting wheelbarrowed
on a coffee table on the coffee table yeah it was did you have a voice bubble so much time to
daydream that you're like the lab yeah and then did your character have like a voice bubble like
just like whoa this feels this feels good nice um couldn't have been yeah that probably killed it and uh and then also
had a polaroid camera that like the kids there don't ever get to see pictures of themselves you
would give the kids pictures of themselves they thought it was really neat yeah um and so i took
a picture of my tits and i they went through the snail mail yeah yeah does somebody have to like
look through that though as you're like like for like
military security do they have to look through what everything you're sending maybe i was willing
to risk it all it was desperate times so when you're in the military can you not use email or
make phone calls and stuff i was just so far out in the boonies that we didn't have computers or
anything like that so all we have is snail mail. Does the middle of the Middle East count as the boonies?
Yeah, I think so.
You're out in the cut.
Yeah.
That upper hauler in Kabul.
But it took like three months to get to him,
and then I was pretty embarrassed by then.
What up, Big Cat?
Hey, guys.
Donnie Titus.
How are you?
Just talking dick pics.
What's going on?
Talking dick pics.
Dick pics?
Donnie's taking one.
Only one.
Only one?
But it was in China, to be fair.
By the way, start the timer. Let's see how much of a better driver I am than Brandon
Because we left at the exact same time
Oh no
Yeah
How far away?
We were in the West Loop by the new office
Oh yeah
He probably had to stop for gas like three times
He's going to stop at China
Yeah
He's in no rush
This isn't his priority anymore
No it's definitely not
And we all know it
Sports promo is getting out of hand.
Yeah.
It's a little crazy.
Tom Walkerman, it was great, though, I got to say.
We should just kick Brandon off the yak and just add Titus.
He wouldn't be there.
It is true.
Yeah, that's the worst part.
He wouldn't give a shit.
No, I know.
It hurts me so bad.
I know.
I want him to care so bad.
When he said to me straight face, he was like, I just want to be on a big show.
And I was like, we've been doing it for a while
dude no i need something on my own i was like well titus is
you out brandon's ideal situation would be a solo show and it's the biggest at barstool right
right he is he wants to be paul feinbaum yeah yeah Or Alex Cooper. Alex Cooper, yes. Also Alex Cooper. He wants to
suck dick. Yeah.
He definitely does.
I don't know what you guys have
been talking about, but did you talk at all about you and White Sox
Dave going to your grocery store?
No, I literally just hopped on the stream.
That must be the snack room. Yeah, we do have a lot of
leftover snacks if people want them.
I saw the worst one you
had was pretty surprising. Oh yeah, are those here? Yeah, they are. Can said i saw the worst one you had was pretty surprising
oh yeah are those here yeah they are can you pass me the pink one now why did dave white
star steve not want to go he's racist yeah what was it uh no he yeah he hates that grocery store
we both live near it and he's very offended that like a grocery store in the u.s would only have
japanese brand here goes the neighborhood wait until he finds out there's a whole store in the U.S. would only have Japanese brands. There goes the neighborhood. Wait until he finds out there's
a whole town in Chicago.
What town?
But these
are peach beer flavored chips
if anyone wants them. Peach beer
flavored? Yeah.
So peach beer is taking off right now in America.
The bush light peach.
Oh yeah. Bush light peach.
Bush light peach is to die for
I would die with my cold
I like unripe peach a real hard one
You like a real hard peach?
Yeah I don't like the soft
I don't like when it gets soft and fuzzy
What's the difference between peach beer flavored chips
And just peach flavored chips
These have like a
Bubbly fizzy sensation
Carbonated chip Yeah it that a carbonated chip?
Yeah, it's a carbonated chip.
Fuck it.
It's a carbonated chip.
It's not good.
People were very worried I was going to allow Dave to go live at an Asian grocery store.
I thought he was going to say the wrong word, a la Mincey.
But no, he's in control.
I like these.
This tastes carbonated.
Yeah. I don't like it. This tastes carbonated. Yeah.
I don't like it.
It tastes like peach beer.
Good job on the extra juice.
Is peach the best fruit body combo?
Fruit body?
Oh, like...
Peach asses.
The ass, eggplant.
Yeah, but egg...
That's a vegetable.
Yeah.
Melons.
Melons.
Melons.
Melons is good.
Melons is good.
You see melon.
Tuna fish.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Halibut fruit. Melons. Melons is good. Melons is good. Do you see melon? Tuna fish. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Halibut for sob.
Melons.
Yeah, I forgot about melons.
I love melons, dude.
I love a nice set of melons.
But the thing is, like, they're soft.
Melons are hard.
True.
That's true.
I like a nice pear-shaped girl.
Do you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the penguin? The penguin was like a beach ball. No, a nice pear-shaped girl. Do you? Yeah. Yeah. Like the penguin?
The penguin was like a beach ball.
He's pear-shaped, isn't he?
Well, it depends on which.
Danny DeVito penguin, he was just fucking round with two sticks coming out of him.
Kind of like Mincy.
Are you saying, I don't think you know what pears are shaped like.
Well, pears, it's kind of like, you know, thick thighs, thick ass,
and then it gets more petite as you go up.
Got it.
Mincy's got like two stick legs and then.
Yeah, he's got my problem.
Turns into an apple.
He's built like a sugar cone.
Yeah.
Someone once said that I look like a refrigerator on toothpicks.
That always stuck with me that was
one of those ones that's one that will dig deep yeah you never forget that somebody on uh the
people that watch some people have the greatest way to like cut you deep yeah oh um and i've had
a million but the one that made me laugh the most was towards tommy smokes and somebody was like
this dude's fingernails are too pink and now he he's like super self-advocate. I would destroy him without his nails.
New insecurity unlocked.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's an insane one.
Too pink of fingernails.
Have you seen them?
Have you seen them?
No.
Are they that pink?
They're pink as fuck.
Oh, jeez.
Tommy, you got to unpink those fingernails.
I don't even know what you're doing.
It's his fault, then.
It is his fault.
Whoa, whoa. And time. It is his fault. Yeah. Well, well.
And time.
Four minutes and 33. I was just seeing how much
of a driver I am.
No, it's not driving. It's parking.
Well, I'm a better parker than you two.
You might be a better parker, but there was...
It got all busy on this street.
It got all busy out there. It got all busy out there?
It got all busy out there, and I could barely...
Hey, Nick. Hey, Titus.
Donnie.
Hey, how are you?
Donnie's here.
Yeah, I see him.
Yeah.
You get overwhelmed in the city.
No, I don't.
I don't.
I get overwhelmed in every situation ever.
When we were driving...
When we were doing the promo shoot driving around the city, you were like...
You made me drive around the city.
He gets overwhelmed.
But you get panicky at like...
I do.
I don't...
I've goticated for anxiety.
It would improve your life at times.
Oh, 100%.
Or maybe a lobotomize.
Have you tried like...
Yeah.
If we just lobotomize Brandon?
Yeah.
Rosemary Kennedy?
Yes.
You are the Rosemary Kennedy of this show.
I got here four minutes...
All this because I got here four minutes after you?
We were just doing a test.
We had a very good controlled experiment.
But you were in the car at the same time.
No, we did not get in the car at the same time.
I had to move so you could pull out.
I'm still standing there.
And then it takes longer to get in a Jeep.
Everybody knows that.
Well, I had Rudy in my car, so my car was weighted down a little more.
Yeah, Rudy's pretty dense.
I don't think it was.
Pear-shaped.
Yeah.
I think I'm good.
Hello. How's everybody doing? You like Kyle's shoes? shape. Yeah. I think I'm good. Hello.
How's everybody doing?
You like Kyle's shoes?
Wait.
No, I love Kyle's shoes.
Do you do?
Yeah.
Are they too much?
What?
Are they too much?
I have patches.
It could be a different pair of shoes every day.
Oh, shit.
Wait, the swoosh is a patch.
You know, we're going to the Nike facility.
Chade knows a guy.
Are we allowed to talk about this when we're going out to roofball? In Oregon? Yeah. Oh, shit. Maybe not. You're probably not. No know we're going to the Nike facility. Chade knows a guy. Are we allowed to talk about this when we're going out to roofball?
In Oregon? Yeah. Oh, shit.
Maybe not. You're probably not. No, we're not.
Psych. You guys were going to go to
the Nike facility. That'd be awesome if you did.
You were. We were.
You're not. Yep. Great. But that still
counts. We were going to the roofball.
What else are we doing?
Mine back.
Did you cancel it because you don't have time for the bullshit
because you're competing in roofball?
Yeah.
Can you guys make sure that roofball you fly in and out same day?
We can't afford.
No, I get it.
That's going to have to be a kiss the wall and come back kind of thing.
Wait a minute.
We don't have to send all three of us.
How about we send the two that we're supposed to go?
Okay, so Nick and KB. Then you. Wait a minute. We don't have to send all three of us. How about we send the two that we're supposed to go? Okay, so Nick and KB.
Then you
can afford a hotel. Wow, yeah.
You can shack up together.
Let me see those shoes. Put them up.
I don't know, dude.
It's a lot. I know.
Why does it say Jaron?
You look like...
He's the kid who designed them. The 10-year-old.
Wait, seriously? He's got the Jaron's. Is this like a make-a-wish thing? He's the kid who designed them, the 10-year-old. Wait, seriously?
He's got the gerunds.
Is this like a make-a-wish thing?
He's about to die?
No, the opposite.
He beat his disease.
Oh, okay.
Nice.
Not really the opposite.
You look like you just did a Lego movie the first time.
I know.
I didn't know it came with all the patches.
But you can take them off.
Can you throw the purple one for me?
I just want to see how that looks.
Oh, yeah.
I can see orange.
You have a whole folder.
What is the purple?
Wait, let me see the folder.
This would have been the funnest thing in the world
for most teens.
Team J.
Jamon, Josie, Jolie.
You just made that up about Jaron designing the shoes?
No, it came with a brochure. A brochure about how he designed...
Take it easy.
I love them.
This is how I roll?
You've got to have the, this is how I roll.
Yeah, I already had it on.
Let people know, yeah.
Take it easy is not you.
I feel like you don't take...
No.
You're not taking it that easy.
What was the...
What was the response to the mooc episode of anus
people are saying it's a certified hood classic oh yeah yeah yeah everyone should go watch that
after the act that was a lot of fun yeah he he did he unveiled his all the notes that the woman
gave him and then he told us that she would be watching this he gave her a heads up that he was
going to talk about it and so we talked about how he loves the cream pie yeah he is a cream pie guy yeah yeah the cream pie god
yeah i would like maybe an update did he said what the girl oh yeah oh he uh moot killed himself oh
yeah yeah no but i did uh when you left i said if this girl has a problem with it and ends things
that big cat will give you $50,000.
Okay, nice.
Yeah, I'll do that.
I'll absolutely do that.
He said it wasn't worth it.
Because it's in love.
I think he's in love.
Yeah.
And he hasn't had the chance to fill her up yet.
He's going to fill her up.
Oh, yeah.
That's all he knows how to do.
Wait, so what else happened at the grocery store
uh normal grocery store stuff did dave did dave overcome his fears he did he actually says that
he's kind of like that phobia xenophobia xenophobia yes or xenophobia if you're just
afraid of china oh okay is that a real thing? Xenophobia? Xeno means China, so I assume that would make sense.
Hey, are you ever going to go back or are you not allowed?
I am now allowed.
They're allowing tourists back.
So I want to go back to visit because I never got to say goodbye.
I came home for the holidays and then they closed the borders.
Yeah.
But I don't plan on moving back full time.
Right, right.
But yeah, I'd like to go back for two weeks check in with my guy pong's eye
yeah yeah the one of the most chugging he is he is for a while over covid he just disappeared off
the map and i thought the ccp had gotten to him oh yeah but show some of his tj but he's he's kind
of like he's the best advertisement china has you know it's kind of like, he's the best advertisement China has.
You know? Yeah.
He's kind of like, yeah, he was the first Chinese dude that you had just like American
frat bros looking up to.
Being like, I want to grow up and be like Pongzai.
Yeah, he culturally is.
Yeah.
Soft power.
Oh.
Wow.
Is this his most recent?
He can also shotgun out a can just using his finger
get your ass down that's the dana beers of china right there yeah yes
it's insane how fast he does it oh he's so cool dude yeah he's so yeah i can't explain it but
there is something hot about it he makes spilling beer on himself dude he's the man and he just like he lives in rural china
he's a family guy his head game has to be crazy yeah yep does he get drunk is that a limit well
he started he started to cry uh the night we hung out because I sang a song for him in Chinese, knowing the 20 Chinese words I can speak.
And it was just like, I really like Pongzai, he's the man.
Did you do this in Chinese?
We could bring up the clip.
I kind of forget the lyrics, but it was like, I don't know why French is the word.
And then that just means,
I drink a lot of beer.
My name's Pongzai.
I have a lot of friends. My name's Pongzai. I have a lot of friends.
My name's Pongzai.
And I was singing this at a karaoke joint, and he started to tear up.
He was just like bawling his eyes out by the end.
And then he gave me a big hug.
He was like, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
Wow.
Yeah.
Just certified banger.
He lives like northwest China?
I think that's right.
Not many people are there, respectively, right?
Yeah.
He lives in a part of China that I feel like is just constantly smoggy.
You don't really see the sun a lot.
But he manages to have fun.
What are the three big cities in China?
There's a hundred.
Yeah.
I mean, even their small cities are larger than our biggest cities.
But yeah, Shanghai, Beijing.
Guangzhou.
Guangzhou.
Guangzhou and Chongqing.
Yeah, Chongqing.
Xi'an.
I want to do a geography.
Wow, you went in order, Kyle.
That's weird.
I want to do to Look at Wuhan
Wuhan has more people than New York City
That's crazy, 26 million is insane
But the sizes of these cities are massive
Oh, like area
They wouldn't really qualify as American cities
They'd be like metropolis
Yeah, I really want to do a
Geography live stream with you
We could call it map quest or something
and we just look at maps and talk about that right now i hit the shorty which is a weaker stizzy
and that's my new thing what you're hitting the shorty on shorty i don't do geocast i just
street view and i go to cities i haven't been to and it's like kind of like being there without the
like the anxiety what's your latest one my My favorite new town is St. John, New Brunswick.
People are big on Carmel, Indiana right now.
Oh, yeah, the Rotary.
What's up with that?
They got rid of all their stoplights.
They have all Rotaries.
They have an old school looking downtown.
What's a Rotary?
It's a roundabout?
It's all roundabouts.
Hilarious.
I saw it because it was a a viral tweet the mayor is retiring and it was obviously people make everything
political on twitter so he was just like this republican mayor has done such great stuff for
carmel like look at all the rotaries and like everything that's going well in carmel like all
the san francisco and new yorkers are probably like punching air. It's like, well, how big is Carmel?
How big is Carmel?
Carmel is pretty big.
Is it like 9 million?
It used to be.
It's like just a little bit of a difference in mayors.
It does look beautiful.
The population quadruple.
It used to be its own.
NY cells.
SF hostages.
There are an alarming amount of roundabouts.
It's like literally.
That is beautiful.
It's gorgeous.
It's a ton of roundabouts and a ton of like Sim City style neighborhoods that like have
been stamped down.
That does look awesome.
Does the mayor have that kind of power?
Is every other mayor bad?
It's Mook.
Oh, I love that guy.
Oh my God.
That's him?
I've never seen an old redhead census care
he's gotta die that right there's no way that's why would you why would you die at red a hundred
thousand people yeah a little bit easier to probably a little bit easier to get stuff done
but yeah he's i mean the city looks incredible it's not a knock on i was more laughing about
the fact they're like why can't new york and san francisco do yeah why don't they wear the roundabouts
ride around about that and redo the downtown i the roundabouts there i get a look i have
that's i have a bunch of family there and the roundabouts get a little old after i think it
pissed me off it pisses it's it's alarming driving yeah like every it's every single
intersection every single it's overkill and it's i was there on a like a wedding bus and after like the fourth one with a few beers in me i was
like no yeah no more no more roundabouts yeah shout out carmel carmel's on the up so what is
it about the new brunswick town that you like well it's like the maritime provinces yeah we see the
downtown looks super cool like quaint but, but also large. How many people?
Also, St. John's.
Well-traveled man who's never left a home.
St. John's.
All those towns.
What's the best bar in New Brunswick?
Yeah, I don't know.
This is like Goodwill hunting.
You don't know what the Sistine Chapel smells like, dude.
You just went for yeah two dollars
and 67 cents in late fees yeah nick's theory is that you have a felony charge which is why you
still haven't got your passport you're like elvis's manager this is new brunswick hmm i don't know kb
what are you not feeling right now You guys aren't feeling this? No. No.
Whoa.
How strong was your shorty?
Let me know when I should start feeling it. This shit sucks.
What does their mayor look like?
I was on the cool street by the water.
You know all the good stuff.
There is one cool street in every town.
Yes.
But also St. John's, Newfoundland.
Oh, I mean, it looks very cool on a map.
You've always been hit to newfoundland though
yeah and labrador my bad but i forget labrador i do every time where were you chilling here
yeah because where you were chilling where that was i don't want to go where all your haunts i
think southeast toward the water maybe okay i like how it looks because it's on like a river
and the ocean.
Let's just see what this is.
Oh no, this is not where I was.
I was high as hell.
I was so high.
You had to have been so high.
Brutal, dude.
I was high as hell.
I got to move here.
That was season two of The Wire What the fuck, dude?
Oh, I gotta get one of these fizzies
This is not where I was either
You gotta find where you are
You gotta feel what you're feeling
That's not as bad
That'd be a good place to live right there
Go to where the action is
Where's the action?
TJ take us to the action
I need you right now
I got one more chance
That would be the action
Yeah wherever it's shaded yellow
And on the coast
The hell's that strip?
Where do the bars
Please please How's that strip? Where do the bars? Yeah. Please, please.
Please, please.
Ew.
Please.
Man.
We gotta get here.
We gotta find one good redeeming quality about this place, Kyle.
We can't let you fail like this.
Walk towards the ocean.
You'll find something cool.
A dollar store.
Ooh, that's a bad sign.
Maybe it sucks.
Wait a minute.
This is getting better.
It's a garden.
I think we should go that way, yeah.
Okay, those trees.
Sun's coming out.
Is that a harbor down there?
Come on, come on.
Oh, not the harbor.
Mm-hmm. Oh. come on come on not the harbor okay oh is that a little outdoor patio yeah all right as opposed to what
i was trying to help him out it's fine. These people are weirded out.
Okay.
No, Kyle is Roxman.
There was a dude who, over COVID, crossed the country using Google Maps.
What?
Yeah.
Like on a stream?
It wasn't a constant stream. Maybe it was a live stream, or he was just doing it.
It took him like a month, and he would just click, did it take doing it um it took him like a month and he
would just click click click it is it's crazy it is deep deep train content now train his twitter
is like indecipherable train stats okay yeah remember that train guy is that train guy still
going i figured people he's fake on tiktok became huge. People got mad at him because he has a girlfriend.
Oh.
Which is fair.
He was a model that stopped being a model to pursue train interests.
But then started getting brand deals from Gucci and doing stuff with celebrities and stuff.
So he was modeling again.
So people are mad that he's-
Also, obviously fake name Francoisis bourgeois oh yeah yeah i just
remember seeing him freak out with his camera that i think he does love trains right he should
yeah he should have chosen a name you could believe like little brandy yeah brandon so you
all right you swore that was her name so i think i I... Your name's Brandon. That's the catfish, by the way, for people to...
So have y'all already talked about it?
Yes.
I have decided it was, in fact, a catfish.
Even the real-life person you met?
Okay, I did meet the person.
I guess when I saw little Brandy on Monday,
I assigned the person I met the name
because when I look back,
I can't remember her telling me her name.
Got it. So I decided, okay, well, well that was brandy and that's who i met and then i spent three or
four days thinking okay i met brandy and then the name match up but i matched the names myself
we're thinking of your name i wasn't thinking of my name my name is brandon you're like oh it's a
little brand and then the thing is yeah little was a dead giveaway that had to have been her
well i i it was no way she came up it was like, hey, I'm Little Bray.
I was getting wise to it
and then yesterday
somebody DM'd me.
This account,
which was created in June,
had a reply guide me
like three times in June
telling me I had a bad take
about something.
You know who it was, right?
I don't.
In that account.
Church.
Who?
You got Church.
Who's Church?
Oh, he's a fucking idiot
in Tennessee.
They used to call my fucking show.
He's a nobody.
He's all the fucking...
He got you again.
Church got you again.
He didn't get me.
He would have gotten Zai.
He wasn't getting me.
He got you.
No, nobody.
I wasn't getting God.
I wasn't going to ask to see some titties.
You passed off the name to Zai.
He got you.
Zai is the one who figured out
Ultimately, it wasn't getting me
so did it matter?
He got you. You look like a fool. You passed off
a little brandy. I hope
bad things happen to that guy.
Church is huge. It sounds like he's a somebody
if you... He's a nobody.
I've never seen
somebody get a rise out of you like Church.
Yeah, he's fucking... No, Devlin that time.
Oh, once, yeah.
Window washer in Jackson fucking Tennessee.
And what does he do?
You believe that too?
No, I've had other people look into him.
Oh my God.
No, yeah.
So he got me, sure.
What did he used to get you?
But there was a, huh?
What did Church used to get you?
He used to call the Brandon Walker Cosplay Ball Show
and try to do the nut jokes and stuff.
Has he ever gotten you?
No, he's not clever enough.
He's a fucking idiot.
Nut jokes?
Yeah, these nuts.
Candace's dick fit in your mouth and shit like that.
And then when I said, hey, don't call again,
and he made like 80 Twitter accounts,
and I had to block all of them.
He's just a bad person.
He's like a minifan that hasn't found Minahan yet.
Is that you saying like Candace? Yeah, but that wasn't
him. No, that was another guy.
Who was that? Who threatened to sue us because
we keep posting the video.
He threatened to sue? That guy's an idiot too. Yeah, Hunter.
We posted it again this year
and he said my lawyers don't stand by. Do not post it again.
He called into a... Was he using his legal
name? Yeah, I don't know. i gotta say hitching my wagon to brandon it's the best thing that's
ever locked an entire new world for me the best thing that's ever happened to you my mentions
have become poisonous and i can't imagine yeah and none of this happened until i got into your
orbit welcome to walk i was trying to help z. That's what I was trying to do.
A girl did come up to
me on Saturday and say that.
Yeah, and if she's
out there, add image of Zimba on Instagram.
If she's out there, hit up.
That's real. That happened.
Anyone
who wants to create a Twitter account today,
I need to tell Zai to hit up
Brandon and he'll pass it along.
I can't believe Church got you again.
Church got you.
Again.
Have you ever gotten Church, or does he just get you?
I don't try to get Church.
I wish Church would.
So he just gets you.
Yeah, he just.
That's the relationship.
You guys are giving him way too much.
Like, he is a piece of shit that lives in, like, he is a bad Twitter person.
Like, he's one of those guys.
Yeah.
A guy that will post pictures of my son. Oh's a post oh church is that guy oh these guys should
not be talking about he's a bad person we should not be talking about this piece of shit like he
is a fucking loser okay why didn't you lead with that i was trying to get y'all there but he's one
of those guys run of the mill because there's the run oh he's not a run of the mill he is a guy
he's a fucking psycho church is an evil guy He tried to get me with a Candice joke.
No, he's a fucking psycho.
He's not normal.
Okay, so then yeah, he's a bad guy.
Fuck him.
Bad guy.
All right, yeah, we're anti-church.
Okay.
Kyle?
Pro-dwarf anti-church.
Okay.
Sounds awful.
Pro-dwarf anti-church.
So that's what the yak is?
As progressive as it gets.
Kyle?
No, say it. You're anti-church. Hmm? You're anti-church hmm you're no i was fine with that
one it was the pro dwarf that i didn't like oh yeah okay but you tried to catfish uh
what other places you've been visiting i want i want redemption for you now yeah that place
sucks i don't know i was high as fuck prince edward island looked cool when i was high
same with prince uh same with newfoundland but did you just stay in that area duluth minnesota
oh we're in duluth last night yeah i think that they say that might take off in the future with
the the climate warming yeah everyone just moves to duluth yeah it's the i don't know what it was the final jeopardy answer the other day and i can't
remember what it was for awesome yeah it's the northern most that's great that's you're killing
it northern most what i don't know oh nice yeah kyle that looks nice yeah that's nice
looks like a dog would come out and wait right there.
Let's all throw our money together and send Kyle there.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck, that means I'll have to go too.
Someone from there just texted me like, hey, there's a bad smog problem here.
Oh, shit.
Smog?
Yeah, I don't know.
In Canada?
Yeah.
Are those forest fires?
Do those ever go out
you think those were forest fires man that's true that's a good point fuck got me again
you know what i am excited to have what high noon yeah i love it printed out sheets today
no no but luckily i have it memorized. What happened?
It's time to load up on ice and break out the oversized lawn games
because High Noon Game Day Pack is back.
It includes limited edition fan faves, pear.
Is that a good shape?
That's a great shape.
That's a good shape.
Cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit,
made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free,
and no added sugar.
The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive,
which means it's here for a good time, not a long time.
Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate
to find a pack near you.
Pear and cranberry are good for this fall weather.
I love it.
Cranberry's good for periods, too.
Oh, noted.
UTIs, UTIs. UTI utis yeah that's good it's great so if
you're a fan and you've recently been finger blasted by a dirtier person grab one of those
what's your shirt it's remote controls yeah it's a bunch of is that a car that says potato on it? No, it's a wireless router
But doesn't it say potato on it?
Yeah, all of them say potato on it
Why?
I don't know, it was a going away gift from Rush
Yeah, I don't know
What is this, TJ?
I believe it's the designer
Imran Potato
Who is famous for making the foot shoes
What?
Hell yeah.
Big feet.
Say his name again.
Imran, I-M-R-A-N, Potato.
How does this taste?
What?
Peach beer.
I wanted you to guess.
Oh, sorry.
I was going to guess wine cooler.
It's close.
Imran Potato?
That's an insane...
I'm wearing Imron potato right now?
Can I see the feet shoes?
How much are the feet shoes?
Oh, those are great.
I had a pair in blue.
Wait, you had them in blue?
Yeah, they ran out of the skin tones and then they sold green and blue.
Wait, so they're shoes that look like feet?
Oh, wait, this is.
That potato remote control is right here on my shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow. Why is he That potato remote control is right here on my shirt. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.
Why is he potato?
What's his name?
That's God's given name?
Imran Potato.
Is there any...
Imran Potato?
Can we search Facebook if anybody's a potato has a last name?
Imran Potato.
That's a great name.
I'd love to hire a potato.
It should be Enron Potato.
That's what I thought he said.
Enron.
What happened to Enron?
Did those guys go to jail?
Yeah.
He died.
That was...
It was son.
Madoff.
It was Bernie Madoff.
Wasn't he the Enron guy?
No.
Oh.
He was not the Enron guy.
What?
Lou Pye?
That was the name of the guy who ran Enron?
What?
Pye?
Lou Pye?
You can't kill yourself if you have that name.
No.
You should be like,
you're never ending.
Not if it's P-I-E.
Lou Pye.
You're never ending.
Oh.
Wait, what's this at?
It's P-A-I.
How did you fucking know that, Steven?
Good pull.
You don't know shit.
Successful Asian dude.
There's a billion of those.
You were just...
So that must have been a tough day for you
when you found out Lou Pai was a fraud.
You were probably 13.
Oh, there's an Enron movie?
I didn't know there was an Enron movie.
Shit, I need to watch the Enron movie.
That's just a great name for a company.
Enron?
Yeah.
What did they sell?
I don't know anything about it.
I'm realizing this right now.
Not a thing. Sounds like a company from office space. It's not real like Enron. What did they sell? I don't know anything about it. I'm realizing this right now.
Sounds like a company from office space.
It's not real like Enron.
It wasn't really real.
Can we look it up, TJ?
Can we get some energy?
Okay, that makes sense.
I'm stupid.
Do any of you guys have parents who lost money with Madoff?
I think Kevin bacon and his wife
lost their entire life fortune because of enron oh really and they had to like start from scratch
basically they're like yeah kenneth lay that was the guy so their major electricity natural gas
wait how do you fake natural gas electricity what's going on here it was revealed that enron's
reported financial condition was sustained by institutionalized
systematic and creatively
planned accounting fraud
that's interesting
yeah
it's just a weird thing to be able to
fudge you know how much
electricity is being used
they also like strategically shut off
power sometimes
oh they turned off the power that's kind of a boss move they were the astros stadium
yeah they were right for like a year and then it was like four or five years right
in run field run wow they really were making it big see that's the type of fraud that like
kind of worth it because you were you were at the top for a little bit.
You had billions of dollars for a little bit.
As long as you know you're like okay with burning out in a few years in some horrific way,
I feel like if you're just willing to, I'm really going to enjoy these next five years.
Right.
Was there a way to get out of that?
Because like the thing about Ponzi schemes, my understanding is that eventually you're fucked.
Yeah.
Like once you get into a Ponzi scheme,
your choices are prison or kill yourself.
But was Enron's deal, was there a get out of, was there a way
theoretically they could have got away with this but didn't?
I think at that point you have
to tell on
bigger Ponzi schemers.
You gotta kick it up. You gotta kick it up and say,
hey, you can get me but this guy
yeah this guy's making two billion dollars you ever read about the guy who uh the madoff guy
who like everyone thinks he knew he ended up dying from a heart attack but everyone thinks he knew
because he would he would he made like hundreds of millions of dollars off madoff because he would
take money out but every time madoff was like about to get caught,
he would deposit a shitload of money.
So like there was never anything to prove that he actually knew,
but enough was there was like he knew that this was a fraud
and he basically was taking advantage of Madoff and also stealing people's money.
That would kind of rule out.
Yeah.
He died.
He died of a heart attack in his pool.
But he, like, he never, they could never fully,
I think he would have probably gotten in trouble,
but it wasn't, there was never anything, like,
very specific where it's like, he said,
oh, like, I know what you're doing.
He had just figured out what Madoff was doing
and then took advantage of Madoff.
So basically being like,
I know that you're in a bind here.
I can basically manipulate you and steal money as well.
Kind of a genius.
Very much so.
Yeah.
I want to be that guy.
Except for the dying in your pool.
Yeah, but how old was he?
And I bet you it was a really big pool.
Yeah, if you're over a certain age,
I feel like, why wouldn't you do that?
Right.
He was in his 60s, maybe? Yeah, go out the worst guy. Yeah, if you're over a certain age, I feel like, why wouldn't you do that? Right. He was in his 60s, maybe?
Crazy not to.
Yeah, go out the worst guy imaginable.
If you're over 67.
You know the Malaysian guy, Joe Lowe?
No.
He brought up their government for almost a billion, I think.
What?
He partied with celebrities on his yacht for years.
How do you spell that?
Someone told me, and Donnie, you would know this better obviously like there there was like a rash in like
korean culture of like day traders basically doing super risky trades and then if it didn't work just
jumping out of the building and i might have made a lot of this up i mean i haven't heard of it
just being like let's just see if this parlay works, and then just being like, nope.
The old doogs.
Yeah, yeah.
That checks out.
They are known for being workaholics.
I don't know.
I could see them going balls to the wall.
I might have made this up.
This might be a completely made-up thing.
Ulysses S. Grant actually fell for America's first Ponzi scheme.
Really?
From Ponzi himself?
Yeah, maybe his name was Ponzi. If it was the first one, it would have to's first Ponzi scheme. Really? From Ponzi himself? Yeah, maybe his name was Ponzi.
If it was the first one, it would have to be from Ponzi.
Yeah, he lost all of his money after he was president.
And actually, now you know how U.S. presidents get paid a certain amount
for the rest of their lives after they leave office?
Yeah.
They created that rule because Ulysses S. Grant was completely broke
after being the president. He was going to be homeless. We can't have our president. Is that Scottie Ulysses S. Grant was completely broke after being the president.
He was going to be homeless.
We can't have our president.
Is that Scottie Pippen?
Yeah.
Scottie Pippen has a job with the Bulls.
We've got to make sure that you're not.
Yes, exactly.
Well, they let Delonte West kind of just.
He had a job with the Cavs.
No, but he's.
He's homeless now.
I'm saying he was headed towards Delonte West.
He's in worse shape.
But what Donnie's saying is there was like this.
We took care of him.
There was this thought of,
we as a country cannot allow our former presidents.
It's a bad look for us.
It's not that we care about them.
I think we should allow them to do that.
I think that would be hilarious.
Yeah.
And then as he was dying from cancer,
he wrote his memoirs that Mark Twain published,
and his family made millions and millions off those.
Oh.
Those stories make me sort of like Breaking Bad
where he's like,
I got to make all this money before I die
and leave my family with nothing.
If we had presidents, we'd let them do that
and all of a sudden, 10 years from now,
you have Bill Clinton doing cameos.
Yeah.
Frank would be beating him on the rankings.
Yeah, every day.
I remember my favorite Lou Pye stat, or not a stat.
Oh, you have a Lou Pye stat.
He was a huge strip club guy.
He'd go to the strip club every day,
but to hide the perfume and things like that and the smell of it,
he'd go to the gas station before he went home and spill a little gas on himself.
That's a lot of work.
Why couldn't you just get another pair of clothes
or shower or a shower yeah or i'm a gas seems like it worked or divorce your wife yeah just
get a divorce also could do that did you see that doctor on the boat off martha's vineyard
the super wealthy like family man doctor who's in his like late 60s now retired and he got caught on a
boat um he like looks super wholesome in the pictures of his family stuff but he got caught
on this boat tons of prostitutes drugs they were filming pornos and he got in big trouble by the
fact something like that and then it just came out that he's got like stage four cancer so at first
everyone was mad at him and now everybody's's like, what a way to go.
Do your thing.
Do your thing.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
It's kind of been big in the news.
If you're the wife, can you even be that mad?
Or it's like, well, go out, have some fun, and then leave me your money when you die.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If anything, it's probably nice.
She's going to be less sad when he dies. Right. Because everyone's kind of mad at him. That's probably nice like she's gonna be less sad when he dies right
really nice i'm gonna do you a favor make the mourning process easy yeah i'm gonna make you
yeah way out yeah i don't know lucky her imagine though if he like beats the cancer
oh that would be tough yeah he's just like i kind of want to come back home yeah that would
be what a twist that would be yeah actually you've you've beaten it actually you didn't have cancer
but now you have aids
big magic johnson what do you ever do next summer we should get a high noon boat for the lake
oh do a lot of content on it. I like that.
It's a great idea.
No prostitutes or drugs.
Sounds like a boondoggle right there, but I like it.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like we could.
Get a boat, do a lot of content on it.
Yes.
Yeah.
Next step, millions.
It's high noon branding all over.
We have this brand new giant office.
What?
What about a boat?
I like where your head's at. Just saying. Hank was going to do a boat? I like where your head's at
Just saying
Hank was going to do a boat rental service
I don't know if you ever followed up on that
Yeah it's called a freedom
Boat club where you can just
Sign up for that and then you don't have to
Own the boat but you can use it like a certain
Amount of times per week
That's what you need is owning a boat would suck
Yeah
Would everyone here be comfortable on a bigger boat?
Well, I own a boat.
Are you sure?
Oh, shit.
You don't own a boat.
You don't own a boat.
I own a boat.
You own like a skiff.
Yeah, you own like a...
I'm sorry.
Have you been on my boat?
Did we go out on the water?
We went out on the water and it floated.
Did it fit both of you in it?
It got a little dicey.
It was tight.
Yeah.
It's a boat and it's water.
I might buy a bigger boat.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Wait, how big is the lake?
90 acres.
You need a pontoon.
Yeah, you need a pontoon.
You need a pontoon.
Yeah.
You're not having a pontoon as a big swinging man.
Everybody on the lake has pontoons.
You got to get furniture.
It's bad.
That's why they're the best.
It's a living room on the water.
But my living room is right off the water.
No, but your living room on the water.
You'll have more furniture on your pontoon than your house.
I probably will.
My favorite is the pontoons that have, like, they don't even have seats.
You have to bring your own seats.
That's a real pontoon where it's just literally just a deck.
And it's just like you got to bring, like, a foldable chair to sit on your pontoon.
Get that.
The high noon pontoon.
High noon pontoon.
I can't really hit my spot.
Rolls off the tongue.
No, you can't.
I can't.
You can't.
Mostly sports.
Pontoon.
Yeah.
You in?
Like financially, you mean?
Or do you mean like.
50-50?
Actually, we got three other guys.
I'm in to like use it.
I'm not in to pay for it.
Yeah, nothing would change if you paid or not.
You would still use it. Yeah. What other guys Yeah. Or nothing would change if you paid or not. You would still use it.
Yeah.
What other guys you got?
TJ.
Okay.
He'll be in.
Who else did you take from the yak?
I didn't take anybody on the yak except for Connor.
Connor and TJ.
And Evo.
But he's not on the yak.
Okay.
And then we got four or five lesser guys.
How big's your team?
No.
No.
That's the team. Three? Yeah. I saw you have a brain trust text. I do. How big's your team? That's the team. Three?
I saw you have a brain trust text.
I do. How'd you see that?
Why are you looking at my phone? I also saw Mark
Williams liked something. It was Mark
Williams. I don't know. He liked something.
Maybe he did.
Maybe I had a good tweet. Maybe he liked it.
You were phoning next to me.
I don't look at your phone when you're
sitting next to me. You going to a high school football game tonight? Yeah. On a Thursday night? I don't look at your phone when you're sitting next to me. Yeah.
You going to a high school football game tonight?
Yeah.
On a Thursday night?
I don't know why it's on Thursday, but I'm going.
Might free me up to go to another one tomorrow.
Whoa.
See, I'm excited.
That's a full weekend.
I'm excited to do the show tomorrow and break down Vikings-Eagles.
And Brandon's like, I have no idea, but I'll talk to you about the fucking 1A football game.
Hey, I'll tell you.
1A football scene in Wisconsin. I'm gonna watch
some football. Are you going to Wisconsin for it?
No I'm it's
yeah here. Not here.
Is it varsity? Yeah.
Okay. Yeah I don't know why they're playing with that. I don't know if
you're like are you a big time sicko and you'll
go to like freshman? No.
But I do like going to
high school football games. Powderpuff? Brandon just goes to
powderpuff games? I think I'm to try to go to one every Friday night,
even if it's not the town in my school, the school in my town.
That's what I meant.
You go alone?
Yeah, sometimes.
Is that okay socially?
I feel I just don't need to talk to anybody.
No, still?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think it's fine.
KB, if your high school won a football state championship,
how long would it take for you to hear about it or know about it?
To probably now, it would take a long time.
Yeah.
I would probably find out.
Yeah, it would be a decent deal.
That's my way of asking, like, how plugged in are you to what's happening?
I like to go on
max preps and just search random
schools. Yeah.
Not your own school.
Not my own. Remember when
Sass thought that all the
best players were coming from New England?
Massachusetts?
He had done the search wrong.
And he was just like, holy shit!
All these guys.
We had to, yeah.
Cooper Flag, though.
Cooper Flag, Maine. He's going to be the number
one pick. Maybe.
My high school only had one
kid go D1 and he passed
out during training camp and
stopped playing.
Oh, no.
You should get a sign
on your town for winning a Super Bowl.
They should write an article at least about that.
You won at least an article.
You won a Chinese Super Bowl.
Yeah, I've got the ring to prove it.
And your team is still crushing, right?
Yeah, the Warriors always crush.
Is it just they're stacked?
Yeah, I guess people just want to play for winners.
Yeah, that's pretty sick.
Yeah.
But there's a lot of new teams now.
I think even Wuhan has a team.
Is there a chance they retire your jersey?
It was number 69.
I don't know if I deserve that.
That would be so sick.
I mean, I was a great role player.
I was not a superstar.
Yeah.
Kyle, any word on them putting you in the Hall of Fame, the high school?
No, it's a little bit too seriously
No, I feel bad
Why do you feel bad
if nothing came from it?
I feel the fact that I
I was serious and I was actually
upset, so that's why I feel guilty
Did they get inundated at all?
I haven't researched
But if I do research, I'll get pissed again
when I see who made it.
Why don't we give them a call?
That's what I didn't...
Oh, we're back! Nick is blue!
Wait, we have our own pages now?
I'm blue? I'm red?
Oh, it just links to Barstool Sports.
The other half, son of Tugwanoi.
Wow.
I'm the Barstool Sports owner?
When did that happen?
Yeah.
No, that actually, yeah.
Did Dave say something?
Yeah, well, it was a way to kind of shift around debt.
I'm going to go to prison.
We have all of our credit cards in Nick's name.
Got some bad news for you.
That'd be incredible. Yeah, gonna get nick you're gonna be an owner but all the losses yeah it'll be on your name okay cool leans on your apartment cool i don't even
think you can lean an apartment coming up nick what a day oh yeah does big cat know about that
what i kind of got a little jumped this morning.
What happened?
I just got some money.
I don't even want to talk about it.
You had to tell the story like 12 times.
Yeah.
What a morning.
Outside your house?
No, outside the office.
Really?
Yeah, I kind of got surrounded a little bit.
Whatever.
We'll talk about it off air.
Wait.
Did you get jumped or no?
I got money taken from me. Okay, like in the middle of the day?
Yeah
Oh shit
And this stupid fucking shirt
Oh man
I was so embarrassed
I thought the guys were just surrounding me to roast my fit
That would have been worse
Were there weapons?
No, no
They just were like, this guy
It's my own fault
It was like that scene in the Little Giants when they're all pushing that guy around the middle.
Who has a snot bubble.
Yeah, it was, it was my fault.
Didn't you almost get jumped in New York too once?
Couple times.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You, I think it's just you.
I know.
Yeah.
I remember you telling me.
That's why I'm not too beat up about it.
About how you got kind of jumped in New York.
Oh, yeah.
That was one of his first days.
I was.
Yeah, you were right next to me.
The guy singled me out.
Well, you had a coffee in your hand.
He said, give me the hat.
He said, give me your hat or your coffee.
I went with coffee.
Shit.
Then he took it and left.
Yeah, New York, I've had probably four or five.
You just have a jumpable demeanor.
Don't blame him one bit. Probably four or five. You just have a jumpable demeanor.
Don't blame them one bit.
Well, that's not good.
That's all right.
It happened in New York sooner.
That's true.
Yeah.
One day in New York, 15 days here.
That's huge.
Yeah, that's way safer.
We should just put you in the safest places in America.
They'll find me.
They'll find me. They'll find me.
Carmel, Indiana.
Just driving around roundabouts.
The mayor will come up.
Hey, buddy.
Give me all your money.
Look at this NY cell.
Yeah, that's what I was to them.
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that's great
KB might get back on the booze now
you think?
what plan are we on right now?
I'm in limbo
yak yeah
are you going to start a new protocol
when we get the new office i want to asap it just it's so hard to start that's i mean obviously
that's the hardest part yeah i mean you've started five different times i know but i was in the rhythm
and then i got thrown way off got really into booze i mixed Red Zapaleo with Fireball
That's damn good
I tried that once
It does sound pretty good
Heartburn inducing but good
Boilermaker
Boilermakers are so gross
Boilermakers is a shot of vodka
In a pint of beer
Yeah
Fuck you up. Real good.
Gage is very drunk.
Yeah.
Is that the Boilermaker you've had?
I'll usually do a shot of whiskey.
Whiskey, yeah.
Yeah.
I've done vodka.
I usually put vodka floaters in my boozy tea drinks.
Yeah.
Like that.
I'm all used to.
What are all those losers at Purdue doing this year?
Those fucking losers.
They're going to beat Ohio State.
Ohio State plays there this year, and we always lose.
Do they get upset yet?
Fresno beat them?
Oh, yeah, Fresno beat them.
Fresno and Shrek.
You'll be happy to know, Kyle, Purdue in basketball will be ranked in the top.
They'll probably be second or third.
Is Zach evenads back?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
So they will be very highly ranked going into this season.
And for what?
And for what?
But could they do what Virginia did?
Win the championship?
Right, win the championship the year after they got beat.
Yeah, you just can't lose to a 16 seed if you're going to do that.
They've reached bottom.
They lost to, what, a 14, a 15, and a 16? Yeah you're going to do that. They've reached bottom. They lost to what? A 14
to 15 and a 16? Yeah.
The last three years.
Is that in three straight years they've done that?
They lost to St. Peter's.
Was it a 13?
North Texas. They lost to North Texas, St. Peter's
and Fairleigh Dickinson.
When's the last time they were like super good?
This year, but they got beat by a 16 seed.
That's my thing about
them they get upset every time you were like yeah they just find new tragic ways yeah yeah to be a
joke of how far is west lafayette from here well like two hours yeah maybe yeah like two three
might ride down there and catch a purdue game you want Why not? Why not? Football? Either way.
I'd go to a Purdue football
game with you. Let's go to a Purdue football game.
Let's go to Purdue Ohio State.
They got the big drum.
We're going to lose and I don't want to be there
when we do. That would be funny though.
We're not going to lose.
Okay.
Yeah, it would be...
Purdue Indiana would be the one to go to. I don't know if they're playing in Purdue or IU
Oh Wisconsin's playing there next Friday
Friday?
Shit
I gotta go to that
Should we go to that next Friday?
I got a high school game
Brandon I was invited to a
Kenya vs Uganda
American football game November 13th,
if you want to go.
I do want to go.
Cool.
Where is it at?
The capital of Uganda, Kampala.
Yeah, take Brandon.
Brandon Gold.
I thought you meant they were coming to Chicago.
No, no, no.
We'd have to go there.
You are welcome, though.
I was reading American football is, like, blowing up everywhere right now.
Like, it's
becoming a they're trying to grow the game in africa i don't know i think there's also going
to be a zimbabwe versus the drc flag football game but i guess kenya and uganda are the only
ones that have all the pads what don't didn't the nfl just have like initiative to have like
someone yeah there's one international international player on the practice squad i wish we did like a world football classic how much fun it would be so awesome oh we would just
destroy everyone could we win with a high school team maybe yes like a tech yeah yeah yeah oh yeah
for sure like img academy yeah that would be so awesome, though. Not a chance, right?
I think Canada would beat us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're men.
College, for sure, we could win.
But, like, Purdue might actually be able to win the World Gym.
Purdue, that's a great debate.
I wouldn't trust them.
I wouldn't trust them.
They do every year.
They'd get upset by Swaziland.
They would lose to Swaziland.
That's a great debate.
Could Purdue football win a world championship?
Let them try.
That's the new Alabama versus NFL.
Yeah, take out all NFL, but just Purdue versus the world.
I'd take Purdue.
Yeah, maybe not Canada.
It would take like one ah all the incredible canada like samoa and defensive lineman they're american right american samoa yeah right that would make sense yes like
australia has to play funny as hell like it'd just be a laugh factory watch canadian i know
there are there have been some but like Canada pumping out that many pros every year?
No, I don't think so.
I know they play football, but maybe not.
Are they not high school football?
He's going to cut.
Yeah.
I'm looking right now.
I saw a Mexican college game the other day on the timeline.
Mexican?
Are their rules slightly different?
In Canada, isn't it 10 versus 10?
Yeah, the exchange rate.
Chase Claypool is the fourth-ranked
Canadian player right now in the NFL.
That's not good. Joshua Palmer,
Alex Singleton for the Broncos,
Javon Holland for the Dolphins.
Purdue might beat him. Javon Holland's good.
I'm looking at this. What's jumping out
at you as like, oh, we're fucked?
Mike Vanderjack?
Nate Burleson?
Jesse Palmer?
Jesse Palmer's from Canada?
That doesn't seem right.
It doesn't, does it?
I don't think a lot of these are right.
He is Canadian.
Oh, he's in, hmm.
Whoa.
He's Canadian?
Toronto.
What?
Toronto should have an NFL team.
I didn't know that.
Everything.
That's crazy. Nothing makes sense anymore
Toronto is huge
It's the second largest city in North America
Is that true?
Toronto's beautiful
It's not too far from here?
No it's not too far
It's near Detroit
So it's maybe like an hour
And like 15 minute plane
ride. Is New York
bigger than Mexico City? No.
Mexico City. I think it goes Mexico
City, New York City, LA,
Toronto are the top four.
Do you agree or disagree?
Toronto has a little bit more. I think those are the top four in North America.
Pass.
I think he's right. Mexico City is a
super city, isn't it?
How many super cities are there in this I don't know super cities freak me out
Tokyo
What are super cities
Super cities freak me out
Havana is that big
Los Angeles
You know where that is
Pronounce that for us Brandon
Katapak de Morelos that was easy
it's a municipality how many super cities
are there was that name something else before
that is pretty cool
oh you gotta go there KB
where is this
you gotta hit up that municipality
no we don't have any super cities in America.
Oh, it's like a suburb of Mexico City.
Oh, shit.
That's big.
Mexico City was built on Tenochtitlan.
Yeah.
Do you know about that?
No.
I'm learning a lot today.
Yeah, it was the what?
Yeah, it was their main city, right?
The Aztecs?
Yeah, it was the capital of the Aztecs.
Yeah.
And it was built on an island in the middle of a lake.
It looks cool as fuck.
It looks very cool.
They were like super advanced for the...
Yeah.
It was sick.
I mean, if you search a photo of Tenochtitlan It's one of the coolest
Looking cities
I think school teachers
Across the country
When they teach social studies
None of them have
Agreed what to call
What you just called
Tenochtitlan
Some people do
Tenochtitlan
I've heard Tenochtican
Which was obviously wrong
I still don't know
What we're talking about
It's a big city
Bring up a photo
Because it looks dope
Is it long
You've seen
It's grass The pyramids Bring up a photo because it looks dope. You've seen the pyramids
they have. No, it was like
it was actually a larger city
than almost like all cities in Europe at
the time. And they built on top of it?
Yeah, after they beat the Aztecs
they kind of just built over it and eventually
filled in the lake.
They filled in the lake? Yeah.
That sucks. Landfill.
The bottom of the lake is the Tenochtitlan?
No, it's not spelled like that.
Tenochtitlan?
T-E-N-O-C-H-T-I-T.
Yes.
And then if you click images, like some shit.
Yeah, sweet looking city.
Yeah.
Oh, like it's like Venice kind of.
Yes.
Yeah. Awesome. You see that big cat it's like holy shit it's just built on an island in the middle yeah it ain't
no new finland and they filled in that lake yeah that sucks so we lost it all oh my god that that
is the coolest place in the world it It was. It's like a futuristic.
Cortez was very sad after their war with the Aztecs.
He was like, damn.
I got robbed there.
We ruined the whole city.
First day?
First day in Tenochtitlan.
Man.
That's Minecraft?
That's Minecraft?
Oh, hell yeah. Is Rutgers playing a game today? are you wearing the jersey it was jersey you guys do a jersey yeah it was brandon's idea i
don't know how i feel about it you just stole it from glenny balls that's fine i think you stole
it from every other i mean that's not no there was a jersey uh video series it's not a very
uncommon idea in the first first New York office.
And then Dave realized that it was just guys buying $500 jerseys just to show them off.
We're not going to do that.
Were they expensing them?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, that's what we had.
What are we doing?
That's when we had office manager Brett, and you could expense literally anything.
Yeah.
So I think Lenie might have come in
in a sick Warren Moon Oilers jersey.
It was like 400 bucks.
What's going on right now?
It was cool though while it lasted.
Yeah, it was a jersey day.
And they didn't do anything.
They just wore jerseys that day.
Yeah, and they filmed a video
of them just walking up to the camera
in their jersey.
Yeah, that was a great idea. Yeah, they would all just walk around. Turning around. Yep, they would filmed a video of them just walking up to the camera in their jersey. Walking up. Great idea.
Yeah, they would all just walk around.
Turning around.
Yep.
They would do a fashion show, and that was the series.
That was Jersey Day.
Steven, you got in on Jersey Day.
Oh, wow.
Is that when you first wanted to be content?
Yeah, look at this.
Here we go.
Jersey Day.
Yes.
Yeah, you're right.
Oh, hell yeah.
That's all they're doing.
And they expensed all these?
They expensed
Wait, this video's 23 seconds
They started doing it just like with the jerseys they had
Then I think they
Oh, they did so many
Finch this
Oh, I gotta see how this ends
These 46 comments have to be cruel
Yeah, that's a sick intro.
Did they wrap up
all the storylines
in the season finale?
Our school jurors.
Oh, you're Glennie
from Jurors Day.
Editing.
The intro's longer than the...
Oh.
Oh, tough.
Oh.
That's a...
What is that?
That's a WNBA.
Yeah, this is them
buying it, maybe?
Yeah, look.
They're out there
buying them.
Mr. Throwback.
All right, so Jurors Day's canceled on our show.
Well, no, keep doing it.
No, you had the same exact idea as Glennie.
Just to do it on the show, just to have fun with jerseys.
Oh, that was not good.
That was like Griffey.
Oh, Glennie, Mutombo.
Dave's liking it.
You were into that.
He's a huge fan.
Is this what we look like?
What the fuck?
Okay.
I don't even know what's going on in those.
Give me another Jersey Day.
Maybe not the series finale.
I want to see what it was just.
Oh, Donnie.
I don't remember being on an episode.
How could you forget?
Wait, this is still the series finale.
Yeah, I want to see.
Crime week.
Crime week.
Did they get people that committed crimes?
Oh, it's players who committed crimes.
No.
What did he do wrong?
Eli Manning.
Oh, and he's signing a tit again?
It's the same shot.
That clips in every single
Juris Day video.
Wait, is this still the intro?
I don't quite get what Juris Day is.
This is exactly
what we did on Mostly Sports.
Exactly.
Uh-oh.
Trent?
I think they're reenacting the crimes. on Mostly Sports. Exactly. Uh-oh. Trent? Trent?
Trent with a gun?
I think they're reenacting the crimes.
Got it.
Wait, that was it, though. That was it.
That was it.
All right.
So Eli Manning was...
Oh, what did Eli Manning do?
Cinco de Mayo.
That could be problematic.
But like...
Okay, Cinco de Mayo.
Ah, brilliant.
This was well thought out.
Two-man show this week. out Two man show this week
Two man show
No
Where's everyone else
Oh this is so good
Sorry guys I can't make
Jersey this week
I didn't wear a jersey
What's his jersey
Also
The only Latino player Okay There's only two of us. What's his jersey? Also. I'll say one.
The only Latino player.
Okay.
420.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I want to see the RIP.
Ricky Williams.
Tim Lincecum.
Who's that?
That's Rhea.
Oh, shit.
Ricky Williams.
Okay.
Okay.
This week's Jersey theme is coming in hot keeping with the spirit of the balloon
is wearing a 420 zimbabwe hat right oh jamaica oh munchies
damn this series
stop this
look at that little ponytail. I don't know, Rashid Wallace?
I want to see RIP.
Huh.
Damn.
Yeah, RIP in peace week.
All right, this week was by far the most fun we've had making a jersey.
Rip in peace to all those historic athletes voting the poll below.
All right.
Okay.
How did that guy die?
The most fun they've had.
Yeah.
They just stopped coming to work.
This is when they discovered we had a green screen.
I like that, Brandon.
Oh.
Oh.
Whoa.
Is there only one?
Is there only one RIP?
Oh, breaking news.
Tony Gwynn?
Tony Gwynn. Tony Gwynn with the Red Sox hat.
There he goes.
Is that Tony Gwynn with the Red Sox hat?
Yeah, he is.
Where are the Red Sox?
What the hell?
Jersey Day rocks. Yeah. I mean, the theme. What the hell? Jersey Day rocks.
Yeah.
Great idea.
Very well thought out.
Oh, no.
Glenn Bias?
How'd we get the highlight?
Glenn Bias.
Oh, Glenn Bias going to the rack.
Yep.
Imagine talking to Glenn Bias' ghost
be like hey dude
I know that you
missed out on a
pro career but
we did
Glennie Balls did
Jersey Day one day
for you so
kinda all worth it
by far the most
fun episode
if ever
Jersey Day
wait why was that
the most fun episode
I have no idea
I don't know
give me one more.
I love it. I get it.
What are some other really old shows that we used to have that have passed?
I know Snackin' Off.
Snackin' Off was good.
It was a good one.
Needed Night only had one episode.
Yeah, fortunately.
There was a lot those early days in new york
trying to just throw stuff at the wall there was like a love show i think oh that was with um
swiped the guy who left uh bags yes bags
spags and keegs was that was it maybe keegs maybe that and Keegs
Maybe Keegs
Maybe that was Keegs' first piece of content
Alyssa, yeah
Keegs might have made an appearance on it
There were so many jerseys
These guys got fitted
They spent a lot of money
It was probably the most budgeted show we had
At the time.
What a concept.
It's great.
Winewalk was fun.
Did you ever do that?
Maybe I did.
I was on an episode.
How about you?
There was one that Julie Stewart Binks had.
Oh, Julie Stewart Drinks.
Julie Stewart Drinks.
It's in the name.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
That office was way too crowded.
It was nerve-wracking entering that office for the first time
because once the elevator opens, you're just in the middle of the office.
That was the office that Kyle would show up for 10 minutes
and then leave for seven hours and show back up for 10 minutes, then leave for seven hours,
and show back up for 10 minutes.
Yeah.
You were telling me.
What's your deal?
Yeah.
You would go to a-
I cornered him.
I was like, what's your deal?
That was the highlight of my career.
You were telling me you would go to a cafe across the street from the office
to work because it was just too weird working there.
There was not enough space.
It was crazy.
It was absolutely insane. And there was only two bathrooms. That's when i got in trouble for pissing in the sink there's two bathrooms for like i don't know 80 people that's horrible
like here it's for how many people are here now 30 40 yeah 30 40 it's it's miserable yeah i can't
even imagine that's why i'm pissing the sink again. It's the perfect height. I'm back on my old ways.
It's the perfect height.
No one can tell you no.
No, because it's also a shop sink, so who cares?
Yeah, but it is just in the hall.
Right.
I run the water.
Remember, someone got murdered there.
At the old office, yes.
At the original office.
There was a murder before we moved in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was haunted, I guess.
Maybe it was a ghost or something people say time flies
but it doesn't because that was only four years ago and it's really only feels like 12 that really
does feel well covid fucked up all time yeah because like if you tell me 2019 i feel like it
was decades ago yeah yeah and that's when it was Yeah. That's when the transfer to the new office was.
It was like during COVID.
Yeah.
Shit.
Yeah.
When did you start?
November 18.
And Nick, your year anniversary is coming up.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
Yeah.
It's fucking huge.
We got to do something big for that.
We don't have to.
No.
It's one year.
Remember, tomorrow's fellas day.
Fellas day.
Fellas day. So make your fellas today. I'm feeling the pressure. I'm like struggling.
I can't decide between two fellas.
I don't have one. I don't have mine yet.
We're supposed to have three, right? I have like five
but I don't know. I haven't narrowed down.
I'll take one. I have two.
Can we bring in a couple? I mean, we might as well bring in
more. Why don't y'all bring in extra fellas just
in case we need them? Yeah. I think we
cap it at like two per person.
Two per person?
If we're playing, somebody wins.
Two fellas per person.
If anyone needs a fella, I have one.
I could use an extra.
Right?
Okay.
Submit your fella's best clip.
I need a fella bad.
Are you soliciting?
I need a fella.
Okay.
No.
All right.
I'll sell one too.
Tonight?
We're not selling humans on this show
Oh we're selling
Yeah you can
Sell a fella
Sell a fella day
We're gonna have an auction
Find out tomorrow
Oh man I hope my fella does well
I'm actually nervous for my fella
I'm trying to find an urban fella
Oh okay Cause I know the type of fellas you guys are gonna bring Well, I'm actually nervous for my fella. I'm trying to find an urban fella. Oh, okay.
Because I know the type of fellas you guys are going to bring.
Do you?
Rural fellas.
No, I don't.
Country boys.
I don't have a country boy.
All right.
Wonder bread fellas?
Yeah.
Yeah.
TJ, you got to let us know if we double up any fellas, because that would be awkward.
Should I let you know, or should I not?
Yes.
Okay, so if you send me a fella that's already been submitted
I'll reject it.
Say fella rejected.
So it's first come first serve.
I had a guy yesterday
fall into my lap with 129 followers.
How did he
fall into your lap?
The algorithm just spit him out.
I clicked.
I watched it.
I was like, this is incredible.
Because you can't really search.
I don't know.
Maybe you guys can.
You're better at it than I am.
But you can't really search out.
My algorithm's a fella haven.
You can't really go look for it.
Because if you're like, maybe there's a bird watching guy that's funny.
And you type in bird watcher, then they're going to send you the top results.
And then that's not really.
Yeah, it's hard to find one that hasn't been found yet tiktok or instagram
the better place to search for fellas
it's 50 50 for me yeah
so i was just kind of waiting for someone to
pop just fall into my lap and then
yes what about just like on the streets
oh an actual fella yeah
that's fair
you have to find one in the wild
yeah that's a lot.
Film him yourself, yeah.
That would be a ton of bonus points.
Bring him into the office as long as he seems safe.
IRL fella?
I would also say if people are sending you guys fellas,
which I would consider that they're probably sending everybody here.
Yes.
I would take that.
Great fella if you want to claim that.
Quick, yeah.
Great point.
I got one with 600
and one with like 200 followers
I'm really excited about it
honestly we could be king makers by the end of this
I'd agree
we could start an agency around this
oh the fella agency
it's also kind of like a
easier way to do Barstool Idol
you don't even know if they want a job
but we're going to give one of them a job
and they better take they don't really get it they want a job but we're going to give one of them a job and they better take
they don't really get it
they will not be in office
but we'll send you a go pro
$50 gift card
hat
and you just have to shout out Brick Watch
every time you make a video
and boom
Gaz is usually the one who finds the fellas
for Barstool.
His fellas are usually ladies.
A lot of them are fellas.
Yes.
Yes.
He finds his fellas on OnlyFans.
But wasn't he the one who reached out to you and he was like,
what about this little sass fella?
Like, can you vouch for him?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Little sass fella.
I was hit with Sass prior.
Is he on the Gaz coaching tree or the KB coaching tree?
KB, yeah, firmly.
All right.
You don't think he's gone under the – Sass has pivoted to the Roan coaching tree?
I guess now, if you want to – definitely.
He did his best work under Roan.
But I was early on him
I was the first person to put
Nick on camera and
Sass on camera and me
wow and you on camera
sober curious video
I mean maybe we could call that a tree
I think Donnie has a tree
I had yeah Sass is like
first two weeks at the company he had like
a 10 second cameo in one of my vids.
It was like a Frank the Tank hot dog review.
Can we watch it?
Oh, my God.
Wait.
Can we watch it?
Yeah, I would like to see little Sass.
Yeah, it was his first time on camera working for Barstool.
We did a behind the scenes of a raw dogging with Frank the Tank.
Oh, you guys went to New Jersey?
Yeah.
That was an incredible
video so i i filmed frank like nick filmed me kb filmed nick and then sass filmed kb so sass
you know with the nesting doll philosophy here he was on the camera for like eight seconds
yeah i want to just see so this is me filming all right that's kyle filming me
this is like peak covid yeah well Kyle filming me This is like peak COVID
Yeah well no we were just going to Frank's
And I have no idea why I was invited
I was too afraid to say no
This might have been his first
Yeah
That was I think the only appearance of sass
in that good amount of views on this is before i worked here we are driving actually to his
apartment where then he will be driving me to the hot dog place it's a 40 minute i think it's like
like i've made some documentaries in foreign countries and i feel
like that one filmed with frank in new jersey is just as good it was kyle left his backpack
in frank's apartment and frank got really mad that he had to go back in and get it
and then at the end of the video kyle left his backpack in frank's car so frank
that was the start of you losing backpacks how How many have you lost since then? I've lost a baker's dozen.
13, I think.
Last JanSport was 13.
Have you ever had a laptop in the backpack when you've lost it?
Because that's my worst fear.
Yeah, but I've got it back.
But I'll always go to bars and lose my clothes.
Yeah.
That's the worst feeling when you have left your backpack at a bar.
You said you left your backpack in a frat house in Kansas.
Yeah.
And there was something in there that could ruin your life?
Yeah.
All right.
And they found, well, there's the alien mask.
I know.
That was expensive.
Right.
All right.
Rewatch that video.
Yeah.
Everyone go rewatch that video.
All right.
So fellow Fridays, you want to spin the wheel?
Fellow Friday coming up.
I'm very excited.
Everyone's got to send their fellas.
And it's dry.
We're never going to get wet again.
Never, ever, ever. There is a shower in the new office. I was there yesterday. And it's dry Dry We're never going to get wet again Never ever
There was a shower in the new office
What about a cold plunge
Sponsor of some sorts
And then they sponsor
The wet wheel
And then you have to hop in the cold plunge
We just casually
Slide into
After a rough day of podcasting.
I just need to.
It's supposed to make you feel incredible if you can last like 10 minutes in there.
And you just feel great throughout the day.
Oh, I can last 10 minutes.
I've heard that sentence before.
Don't you worry.
It feels incredible if it lasts 10 minutes.
Nope.
Do you want to try and play roofball next week?
Yes.
We need houses, then.
We need houses.
Send houses to TJ.
Short notice.
If you live in the Chicagoland area and you would like us to play roofball at your house
and you have decent internet and a good roof.
Yes.
Send me a picture of your roof.
I don't know which day I can do it.
Today.
In a live pro-am on Thursday.
Why don't you just do it at Brandon's house?
Yeah.
Roof's too tall.
Three-story house.
And people will just see where you live.
Maybe do it Wednesday.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Very tough.
You saw I had the deck on the third floor.
Love to.
And the second floor.
It's not impossible to do.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
So if we need houses, closer the better.
Yes. Just a big house,
Titus, you know? Too big.
Just send me a picture of your roof.
Yes. House too big. I'll reach out.
The closer to downtown Chicago, the better.
And we will come play roofball. That would be
awesome. Get you guys ready for the tournament.
Because Sunday's the tournament, right? Yeah.
Saturday. Okay. Alright, yeah. Let's try to
do it. Let's try to do it.
No, no, no.
Saturday.
Oh, next Saturday.
And then we come back Sunday morning.
Whoa.
That sounds nice.
Wait, they moved it off of Sunday?
Yeah, it's not Sunday anymore.
Oh, because that was when I felt really bad when the guy was like, we would love for you
to sing the national anthem.
And I was like, what day is it?
He's like, Sunday, September.
And I was like, nope. And everyone's like, you don't have to be a dick like that. I was like, what day is it? He's like, Sunday, September. And I was like, nope.
And everyone's like, you don't have to be a dick like that.
I was like, dude, I'm sorry.
I thought about football.
But yeah.
But I'm still not going to go.
And that Saturday is actually the best day of college football of the year.
It's a loaded, loaded day.
Well, the B team's got it.
Don't you worry.
All right. We'll see you worry. All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Fellow Friday.
Okay. Get your straws, yeah, style and stay for a while. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. See you soon.
Bye.
Send me houses.