The Yak - KB Teaches The Crew What A Double Ritz Is | The Yak 7-11-22

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

Double Ritz DayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa! They're back. Sir. What's up, back. Sir. What's up, boys? Yes, sir. I'm fucking nervous a little bit.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Yeah. First day of school vibes. Yeah. We were a week off. That was a smart move by us to have an episode that everyone universally hated and then take a week off. No damage control. So we can't clean up any of the mess. Damage just goes faster.
Starting point is 00:00:48 It was awesome because it forced me to avoid the internet for the week. That's true. No, I could not escape the case race. Everywhere I went, case race. You know what though? I was just talking to Roan before we got in here because I was texting with
Starting point is 00:01:02 Shane afterwards and it was like day after, shame, regret, this sucked. Second day, oh, this really kind of sucks. People are still just finding. Third day, I had an epiphany, and I was watching one of the clips, and it was when Che was trying to fight Shane. I was like, these two grown men are hammer drunk face paint having a fight over God knows what.
Starting point is 00:01:27 This is objectively hilarious. So I completely flipped. I was like, fuck everyone else. This like we got drunk. Of course it was bad. Very. Yeah. It wasn't like we were just like casually drinking either.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Yeah. Wasted. I wasted. Rocket launch ourselves. I felt good. Like after a few days removed, I was like, you know what? This is a piece of art. We rocket launched ourselves. I felt good after a few days removed. I was like, you know what? This is a piece of art.
Starting point is 00:01:48 We'll remember. And up, I started the trend of it being a bad week. Aggro. That was a bad week for me. I was truly spiraling. Oh, yeah. That week was – That was like –
Starting point is 00:02:02 Yeah, you were on edge. But I also love that we all – I think every single one of us, maybe only Will, got negative comments about it. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? We got – But Will was – There's definitely some top dogs. At least Will was like, dude, you got too drunk.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I was like, what do you want from the case race? Well, it was like people want us to do the case race, but they don't want us to get drunk. Right. They want us to be coherent and funny. It's like, no, you can't have both. Worst part is when we did the
Starting point is 00:02:29 day after show and I was like, I was like, I didn't really, I feel like I didn't talk that much at all. I completely, we did the day after show
Starting point is 00:02:37 before it aired. None of us had, I was so off. You even agreed, Big Cat, you were like, you were like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:02:42 maybe a little bit in the beginning, but you were fine. Then I like tuned in and I couldn't, like, yeah, maybe a little bit in the beginning, but you were fine. And then I tuned in. I couldn't. I watched. I was blacked out. Yeah, I watched the entire first one.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I couldn't even bear to be on my lap. Quigs and. I just wanted it to end so bad. Quigs and Max, who did a great job editing, sent me the clip of when Che and Shane were about to fight being like, is this all good? And I was like, yeah. Can you just edit me out saying say your order 75 times in 60 seconds? They're like, we can't because none of it would make sense.
Starting point is 00:03:15 You said it so many times. Yeah, it was bad. I was walking on the beach and some dude's like, yo, the case race. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, eee. Yeah. I went to the Mets game with my family. Sit down.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Case race sucked. No, it was like, you sucked on the case race. I had people coming up to me the day of being like, yo, case race. I'm going home right now to watch it. And I was like, don't. But I was like, please don't watch it. See, that's what I'm saying, though. I think i'm like
Starting point is 00:03:45 i'm very confident we're gonna do it again when when owen's birthday comes around we have to yeah because it's like i think you actually better if you look at it and you're like and you don't take it too seriously it is so ridiculously stupid yeah all of it also the people that think like that's just like what we're like when we like go out to a bar. Yeah, right. I don't drink 12 beers a night. Yeah, exactly. None of us drink like that. Oh, man. But yeah, good break.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Everyone have fun. It was a much-needed break. Yeah. Juvenated the soul. Yeah. I actually had COVID the entire time. Are you serious? It sucked, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Damn, dude. Of course you did. The second day I got home, I had COVID. You're going to bring down my vibes. No, you didn't. I did. The second day I got home, I had COVID. So you're going to bring down my vibes. No, you didn't. I did. I was locked in my room the whole week. I had a good last two days, though.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Monster Rips being taken off the wheel, the vibes are off on that. One guy complaining online pissed me off. And also the person who got Monster Rip. I'm going to make them anonymous. They did not want to do the Monster Rip today because they have some comedy shows tonight. Panic attack is inevitable. I mean, just fucking say it was me.
Starting point is 00:04:54 So, yeah, we're, you know, the wheel will get its punishment on us. We know that. Especially during the comedy shows. We're recording two shows today. Yeah, we are. Wednesday, we're're gonna be at the mini golf tournament but we will have a brand new nicks wild yeah also why the fuck are we leaving at 4 30 that's wrong i got an airbnb the night before so i'm just gonna go away tomorrow yeah that's wrong by the way it is it's it's it's at six okay that's much better. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Well, it said the production team was leaving at like 7.30, and we were leaving at 4.30. I would argue 4.30 is a better departure time than 6. Because 4.30, you can just stay up. Why would you want to do that? Oh, no. I understand people doing that on the air. 4.30, you can get back to bed on the bus. That's how you become on edge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the one mini golf. Like, why is KB so aggro well we had a mini golf tournament on wednesday yeah kb that his his biggest aggro day two weeks ago we got here early to record uh yo can i get some barstool your eyes were closed for the first 10 minutes of that video yeah i was pissed oh man and sad why were you so pissed? It was pissed, sad. I was so pissed, or whatever, last week. You were.
Starting point is 00:06:08 You were. There was never an angrier man. You were moving. Is that the only reason why? Just because you were moving and you didn't have a place? Or just other shit going on? It seems like you kind of blew your anger load. You did. You're on cloud nine now.
Starting point is 00:06:21 I'm not on cloud nine, but I don't feel anger. I've been feeling love. You should wear... The week that you're moving, you should just wear a sign. The sign's a lot less. I'm going to commit arson on the lot less on 14th. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Why? I'll get into it later. Okay. When the building's burning, you'll explain. You don't want to be stopped. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. I'm not committing.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Can you move his mic closer to his mouth, please? Your mic wasn't close to your mouth. Closer to your mouth. I'm not committing. Can you move his mic closer to his mouth, please? Oh, your mic wasn't close to your mouth. Closer to your mouth. Which one are you going to burn down? Uh, 14th. What's it called?
Starting point is 00:06:51 Lotless? Like the Union Square Lotless? Rich ass? It's Lotless. They have a rich place? It's a despicable
Starting point is 00:06:56 establishment. It's horrible. It was like a storage place? Oh, no. It's like you get a lot for less. It's like a dollar
Starting point is 00:07:03 store. Oh, okay. Big lots. Their marketing has become addicted. Size 72 font. Very large font. Yeah. What are you guys buying at the dollar store?
Starting point is 00:07:14 Cleaning supplies. I just needed socks. Socks? Actually, I could use those socks. Sock purge. Are those they? They them? They act like I was asking for ivory tusks.
Starting point is 00:07:24 This is a store that sells that's the most average thing in the normal thing you could buy yeah like craft mac the only thing worse than the staff is the customer the clientele why because they're poor despicable yep that might you're going backwards how was the jersey shore that was nice yeah it was good you guys you out there, were you out there the whole week? For two days. Where were you guys at? The Shore?
Starting point is 00:07:48 Like a Shore house that, from the Barstool versus America? Yeah, it's a nice spot. Who else was down there? The crew? He was, him and Jeff solo for like three days. Really? That's not how that word works.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Wrong, where the fuck? It kind of is, though, because I think they were doing their separate thing. Don't have the greatest... You haven't ever seen Joey Camasa's cock. Camasa was trying to get me down there. He said he brought some straight boys back. Some straight stoolies back, and they were just a little too straight.
Starting point is 00:08:22 He had some KB in there to mix it up. Best of both worlds. I'm not bisexual. They were just a little too straight. We had some KB in there to mix it up. Mix it up. Best of both worlds. I'm not bisexual. It'd be dope if you were, though. I mean, statistically, there's got to be some bi guys in here, but I haven't seen any bi men.
Starting point is 00:08:36 In this room? Oh, yeah. Say yet. Not bisexual yet. Waikiki Hatita? What's the director's name? Yeah, that was it. He said everyone's gay. He's actually a perfect guy a perfect everyone's guy yeah yeah he hasn't met me well or your dad fuck no
Starting point is 00:08:52 yeah ron was ron had the greatest vacation of all time i'm gonna yeah ron you didn't really explain that well what do you mean like yeah i'm going to barcelona and then italy i think yeah i mean it looks like you were on top of like fucking, I don't even know. It was dope, dude. Vacation like that in my entire life. You also had, this is now kind of creepy just talking about Roan's vacation, but. He posted a bunch of stories. You had great fits for like every, like you not only vacation, but you had vacation fits.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I was trying to go, I was trying to go all out, dude. And one thing I was saying. Look at that. Look at that fucking guy. Look at that guy. that guy's the man there was one where you had your shirt like perfectly unbuttoned like it was just the middle two buttons the video oh man and the wind was like blowing one flap i think you had a french tuck were you eating honeydew melon and look at you you oh man you're a good looking guy that's real more just a lot of sun that day, just a lot of sun on the face.
Starting point is 00:09:46 One thing I will say about Europe, though, it's so dope that I don't even think they have humor over there. Like, I don't think I laughed the entire time and had the best time of my life. It's like they don't need escapism. They don't need to escape from anything. There's, like, no mundane banality of life that they need to, like, make jokes about to leave. Everything is just, like, charming and pleasant as it is. It was fantastic, dude. I didn't joke once.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Did you smile? I was self-satisfiedly smiling on the inside. Yeah, smugly. Yeah, just smug and satisfied. You would combust there. Yeah, I might. You're European, Loki. I had a realization.
Starting point is 00:10:21 I don't... Oh, no. Nah, I'm good. Oh, Oh no go for it I've never looked forward to something Oh come on Come the fuck on The only thing I've looked forward to recently was the case race Yeah
Starting point is 00:10:35 I will never look forward to anything I was excited for that I was so excited for that There was such a big buzz going around Like in the office Interpersonally like we were all excited for it. Pacing around my apartment being like, dude, I'm so fucking excited for this. Just needed to get started.
Starting point is 00:10:49 I need to have a microphone to talk into the whole time. KB, were you actually fucked up beforehand? Tremendously. I was also angry. That was more the case. I'm not like an angry drunk. What were you gone off of? I don't believe that. Not at all. You you gone off of? I don't believe that
Starting point is 00:11:05 Not at all You're off the wit I don't know what I was thinking I still adhere to my opinions But that was Didn't happen That literally made me hate myself So much
Starting point is 00:11:16 Really the only person Who walked away unscathed Was Will Will was like That was awesome Yeah Will texted me the next morning He was like
Starting point is 00:11:23 Dude still trying to piece together The second half of the night And I was like Yeah well was awesome. Will texted me the next morning. He was like, dude, still trying to piece together the second half of the night. And I was like, yeah, well, we're all fucking dying. The thing is, we burnt a bunch of bridges. We looked like dickheads, pompous assholes. But Will had a tiny cock. Yeah, he did. We let him hear it.
Starting point is 00:11:38 We're like 11th graders who just fucked and clowning him. That was hilarious. Bringing on a 10-year NFL vet and just making fun of his cock the whole time. No, we were like 11th grade. We were like 11th grade. And Owen, you, World Series of Poker, you were a shooting star.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Jesus Christ. Thank you guys so much. That was an amazing day. All of your help, you guys all chipped in, which was amazing. Yeah, it was like the guys all chipped in, which was amazing. Yeah, it was like the best day of my life, I would say. Was it? It had to have been.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Yeah. That was fun. It was unlike like any drug or anything. Like just the adrenaline for like 12 hours straight was insane. You got into a tiff online with that guy. Yeah, Alan. Yeah, Alan. Fuck Alan.
Starting point is 00:12:21 He's like a bitch, right? Like that's like his role. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all saying that. Bitch on the table. We were watching his role yeah they were all saying that on the table we were watching the we were watching the stream and they were all like talking shit about him the whole time not to go with shame but he's wearing a mask yeah yeah it did make me like hate poker terminology it's indecipherable oh yeah look at that tell who was like joking that a poca style background yeah when people were replying to like ow hand being like, They're talking about their hands.
Starting point is 00:12:45 It's a different language. Yeah. You went nuts up on that straight flush. Like, what? Say he has a two and a seven. Yeah. Assholes. It seems like a lot of people think that, too.
Starting point is 00:12:57 I remember a Smitty poster, or someone, Nate posted something, and everyone was like, is this good? But it was like, he just lost. I had no idea what anything was. I was like, damn, congrats, Nate. When that Kessler guy tweeted that Owen busted. I didn't know what happened. Che responded to the group, fuck yeah, Owen.
Starting point is 00:13:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. LFG. I didn't know busted meant lost. Busted is usually a great thing. I had my phone on airplane mode, so I didn't even know any of this stuff was going off or anything. And then I started to get wind, and I was like, the adrenaline was pumping. I had my phone on airplane mode, so I didn't even know any of this stuff was going off or anything. Then I started to get wind, and I was like, the adrenaline was pumping. I had aces.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I was like, wow, I'm going to triple up. I'm going to win the entire thing. Yeah, yeah. Then I lost, and then it was like, congrats, brother. The chat was amazing. The chat was so fun. You called me, and I didn't pick up because I didn't want you to have to apologize because I knew that was the call. Yeah, I called you the second the chips were gone.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah, and I was like, I don't want you to feel bad. Yeah, like, fuck that. We're going to win it someday. How is the camaraderie between the team? Wait, wait, what is this? Here's my exact bust-out hand history. What is that? UTG?
Starting point is 00:14:02 Under the gun. Oh, he opens pocket. No. Pocket 8s under the gun to 1,500. Barstool Owen... Still don't know what that means. Raised to 3,200 with aces. Ridiculous sizing?
Starting point is 00:14:13 Ridiculous sizing. That's his... That's him... He added that himself. Yeah. Is he talking shit to you right now? Yeah, he is. That was him talking shit.
Starting point is 00:14:20 This is a list of things that don't mean anything. I think it was because someone misquoted his... Fl flop t44 i shove or something t44 what's shove 1044 uh he goes all in yeah he was so he was pretty livid uh so then we walked out and uh i don't know i'm processing everything and he was actually just next to me in the hallway. So I was like, oh, shit, man. Sorry I went down that way. And he was just like, yeah, cost me the tournament. Yeah, dude. Get fucked.
Starting point is 00:14:54 We should have him on the next case race. We all look awesome. None of us drink. We all throw it. And he gets shit-faced and looks worse. He seemed like a spectrum employee, so I didn't go at him on Twitter. Oh, Comcast guy. I understand what you're saying there.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Comcast, Verizon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Comcast is only Spectrum. Never mind. My brain doesn't work right now either. But yeah, the experience was surreal. Yeah. It was a real.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Well, you shouldn't feel bad. A little circle moment. We're going to be in every year. Do you regret how much you sho surreal. Yeah. It was a real circle moment. We're going to be in every year. Do you regret how much you shoved? Yeah. You shoved too hard. Yeah. Yeah, nobody should ever be playing for their –
Starting point is 00:15:34 It was a little bit of a ridiculous sizing. It was ridiculous sizing. Yeah. Nobody should really be playing for their stacks on day one, but – No, you need the right moves. I don't know. I played every single hand. Would you like strategically fold every time and just have a boring day
Starting point is 00:15:45 I went in there and everyone's like hey this thing's 10 days 12 hours it's a marathon not a sprint you gotta fold you have to sit there and fold I played every hand 10 days?
Starting point is 00:15:56 is this still happening? is this still happening? the final table is the 16th Smitty got out yesterday right? yeah which sucked. He was cruising. He played the best out of anybody he was playing. He was like number six at one point.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Great fold he had. The best folds I've ever seen in my life. And I know it's hard to understand what happens, but Smitty did. I told Big Cat, like, got screwed. Like, everyone loses on the hand he had last night. It was tough. It was the last night.
Starting point is 00:16:24 That sucks. When the guy interviewed you, did you anticipate that? I got screwed. Everyone loses on the hand he had last night. It was tough. It sucks. That sucks. When the guy interviewed you, did you anticipate that? Were you on your phone? Like, this is going to happen? Or did it cut you off guard? He came up to me, I want to say, like an hour before. Or somebody else.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Just somebody just goes, are you Owen Roeder? And I was like, yeah. But then I just kept playing. I didn't know. And then he came back for Alan Kessler, did the fake out. That was awesome. Yeah. Fucking Alan Kessler.
Starting point is 00:16:48 He took off his mask for the interview. My homies hate Alan Kessler. Yeah. I was all in a few times. Oh, look at this. You're in Poker News. In an inexperienced tournament player. And partial versionality.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Oh, what? Inexperienced. They must not know about the fucking shipping containers. Poker Go owes you a bag. You single-handedly just carried the stream. They kept it going. It was insane. They were loving every second of it.
Starting point is 00:17:11 You know what the best, sneaky best part? I don't know if you guys watched the start of Mincy and Phil Ivy. The announcers thought they were talking about someone completely different. Is there a Bruce Owen? Yeah, probably. Yeah, they're like, a lot of people in the chat asked about Bruce Owen. We'll try to get him on later. And then they slowly realized they're like, wait, this is a different Owen.
Starting point is 00:17:33 And it was fucking hilarious to listen to them like finally realize we don't give a fuck about Bruce Owen. I still got to watch it back because I felt weird going to watch just people typing my name. But I want to see Mintz and Ivy. I heard Ivy just- Mintz, he didn't play a hand for like an hour. I heard Ivy also just didn't ever say a word back to him. He just talked about Dave and how good we are. Yeah, he did a Mintz talk.
Starting point is 00:17:54 He would- Mixed just yet. Yeah. Ivy said he didn't know what Barstool was, and then Mintz had time being like, yeah, Dave doesn't like this pizza. Kate's here. Yeah, and Mintz was like, yeah, kind of got like this pizza. Yeah, and Mincy was like,
Starting point is 00:18:05 yeah, I kind of got in. There was no real South guy. Yeah. And then it was just Mincy telling his life story. No, he told the script that we've all heard. Yeah, 75.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Then he hit him with the I gotta pee, which is a direct Forrest Gump quote. Yeah. And then he was like, he didn't know if he should keep his microphone on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Alan Durst. But honestly, brilliant gamesmanship. Mintz got in Ivy's head. Phil Ivy busted the main before me. Wow. I didn't even know that. Ben Mintz is great. Yeah, he's the best.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I just imagine Brandon watching that whole thing. Just being so angry. Arnold meme shaking his fist. He was like, yeah, we didn't really have a southern guy, so I got in real well. Curled up his laptop. Yeah. You got into it with Dave too, Owen. Yeah, I also didn't mean to do that. You did? It was friendly
Starting point is 00:18:55 bands. It was a quick. I thought it was funny, yeah. Quick one-two on Twitter. In the sense that you double-ratioed him. I double-ratioed him aggressively. I see this tweet. He tweeted about Smitty. And I don't know, his thing is just shitting on Smitty, which is fine.
Starting point is 00:19:11 So I just said, like, L. Oh! Not quite. Not quite. It was rare massive L. Rare massive L. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:20 I was on a flight. Oh, so you said boss. I was off and edible. Then he said, someone's too comfortable. Oh, so you said boss. I was off and edible. And then he said, someone's too comfortable. Oh, shit. Yeah, so then within 60 seconds of his reply to me, I said, that was Smitty. Yeah, you threw Smitty. Smitty was getting shit on, then you were like, this will work.
Starting point is 00:19:37 It was a bad vibe sweep by Dave, though. Yeah, it's just the gambling. Positive vibes only. That was a good tweet. Oh, where is it? Reply. Positive vibes only. Fair enough. That was a good tweet. Oh. Oh. Where is it? Reply.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Somebody's too comfortable. That's amazing. And he quotes you then. He's like, if your next word is Jew, I'll believe you. Oh, yeah. What is false? I'm not too comfortable. I have a lot of respect for you
Starting point is 00:20:05 You busted there with your You should have replied Jew Yeah I know What did you say Jew? Yeah Kate what's up? How was your break?
Starting point is 00:20:15 We're just catching up It was good I'm sure yeah It was pretty chill Went down to the commenters Down in Oh yeah Did you go to DJs?
Starting point is 00:20:25 I did not go to DJs but I did go to a Flogging Molly concert. It's been a while. I have a Celtic tramp stamp so big time Flogging Molly. Did they let you backstage? No, but I,
Starting point is 00:20:37 no, so that was good to go out. Had a little edible goofing. Oh, no. Got pretty drunk. It was great. Yeah, nothing too crazy on my too crazy i might have a sitter when you got fucked up or just coming home and oh really dad stayed at home and i took as it should
Starting point is 00:20:52 be ladies it should be edible has to hit there a lot nicer than the military ship it did it hit so much better there it was way less of a weird vibe though a lot of like big guys in kilts a lot of like the crowd at a flogging molly concert you can't tell what side of january 6th everybody was on yeah like a punk rock vibe but also like a very like cop and fireman vibe i don't know it says it was a delight i had so much fun it was great you had a nice nice nature hike was that yesterday i did i went on a hike with my son um i did a lot of hiking, not to brag. It is a brag. I did a lot of hiking
Starting point is 00:21:25 over the break. I put him in daycare most of the days and then just hang out without him, which was great. Who's that? Who's that?
Starting point is 00:21:33 Who is that? Is that Rico? Is that Quigs? I don't know who that is. At Nano? Who is that? Do you want me to go? I think R.A. got a toupee.
Starting point is 00:21:41 He dressed like R.A. One of the producers for Game Time slash 4Play. Let's go. TJ, how was your break? All right. I kind of just sat around all week. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Thank you for putting out all those best ofs. Yeah. I didn't realize. Is this the start of a season? Or are we still on eight? Because eight's been on since March. I think it is. No, I think we just keep going. We 8's been on since March. I think it is. No, I think we just keep going.
Starting point is 00:22:07 We'll know when it's... I don't think it's an obvious start of a new season. Oh, but we'll know when it ends. You can't have a finale like that. That wasn't a finale. That was a writer's take.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Yeah, I'm with it. When someone dies. Someone has to die. The funeral will be episode one of it. Yeah. Did anybody get kissed? No.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Oh, no. Did you get your lawyer all your shot nick you thought you expected a kiss i no i didn't go out that day i've been afraid i i've been a hermit since those coins have come out really you're afraid to get it on me fuck that dude manhunt you someone bought the coin i gotta try to find it they they so perfectly nailed like who they want to kiss out of just like who would be the most awkward I fuck I gotta try to find it their rankings were so funny
Starting point is 00:22:49 because it was like yup you absolutely got that one right somebody somebody got the one of one and tweeted it out and it's a mouth kiss right it's a full on
Starting point is 00:22:57 yeah tongue is optional tongue is optional let's be real who do you think would be the most who would just like go with it
Starting point is 00:23:03 and just like kiss JB it was me and you at the end because I I would just like go with it and just like kiss JB it was you at the end cause I I would just kiss a dude whatever I would be the most awkward but the most willing
Starting point is 00:23:11 I would be I would be the most uncomfortable but the best kisser okay fair enough I found it I'll send it to your teacher
Starting point is 00:23:20 well Sass is the only one with a smooth face the rest of you might give a little rug burn to it whatever well there it is yeah Kyle would be shy but the drive would be there the drive would be there Send it to your teacher. Well, Sass is the only one with a smooth face. The rest of you might give a little rug burn to him. Whatever. Well, there it is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Kyle would be shy, but the drive would be there. The drive would be there. I think Brandon would be worse than me. I think he nailed it. No, Sass, you would complain. College festival. I wouldn't do it. Right, so he nailed it. He nailed it.
Starting point is 00:23:40 That is actually exactly. For sure, by the way. You think KB would be three? No way. If someone just flashed a coin, I would just kiss him without them even asking. And just be like, all right, we're done. Yeah. If you see sass, knock him out so you can kiss him while he's all unconscious on the ground.
Starting point is 00:23:54 I think he nailed this. That actually is. I think that's perfect. Yeah. I think Che. Zaha, you kissing dudes or what, Zaha? Who? I don't think he put me high enough.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I would be number one. Really? You wouldn't kiss a dude? No, that's a... That's gay. That's a big pause right there. That's the ultimate pause. That is textbook gay.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I kissed Nick Bedley on it, College Fest 2012, the Bone Chilling Day. This was before all of the Bone Chilling events. Are you just coming out as bisexual somebody did film it but it was so grainy of footage but I'll find it I just pecked him my boy like
Starting point is 00:24:33 made out with him so it's like the picture it's like the video the video of him making out with that lady but like that's the that it's cut yeah right after he stops making out with lady he turns his head and there's just a dude. Another dude. You're next. And Steven,
Starting point is 00:24:48 you got a bug bite? Steven, that almost ruined my vibes for the whole week. That tweet. I just say I kind of agree with Steve. No, I agree.
Starting point is 00:24:57 I agree 100%. You don't want a lot of bug bites but one that you can really itch. One on like the shin. Yeah. That sucks.
Starting point is 00:25:04 The leg is always a good place to itch. Yeah, just so quick bug bites. Oh, you guys were about it? If it's every once in a while, that's the key phrase there. Because you like the instantaneous second of itching it. The fact that it's there and can't go away,
Starting point is 00:25:19 you don't like that at all. Multiple bug bites, bad. One, it's a little itch. I will say when you press your nail right into the middle of it and make that line kind of, you know what I'm talking about? The X and the next line. Line is undeniable. Line is awesome. I'm just saying, out of all Stephen Chase tweets.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Wait, when Kate says it. Because I got tagged a bunch of it being like, you got to do something about this. I'm not going to tweet that I agree with it, but I kind of do. Thank you. You got shit on. I did. I've never been ratioed so far.
Starting point is 00:25:48 If I tweeted it, it would have been common KBW. You should have Kate and Kyle tweet your opinions. What? You were a little active on Twitter. I was having fun. I like to reply now. Yes. I'm a reply guy now.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Did you see KB's hypothetical to Che? No. People clown me. That was a legitimate hypothetical that I'm a reply guy now. Did you see KB's hypothetical to Che? No. People clown me. That was a legitimate hypothetical that I thought about for a while and it's a good question. No, it's sucking dick.
Starting point is 00:26:10 I spent hours doing the math in my head. Yeah. Owen did too. I did too. Wait, what was it? Have you spent more total time across your
Starting point is 00:26:17 life getting head or drinking from a water fountain? Whoa. It's not a water fountain. For me, it's a water fountain. I wasn't athletic enough, but I texted KB. Definitely getting head.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I'm not nearly thirsty enough. I was thinking ages 0 to 5, you're getting 0 head, 0 water fountain usage. 5 to 15, 0 head. Lots of water fountain usage. 16 to 23, a little head, little water fountain usage. What if you come quick? 24 to 99, 0 water fountain usage. Hopefully accumulating head.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Even don't nod at me like that. I just go, what if you come quick and see if it's like. After that in boys. Oh, we have to suck it for 30. Yeah, you didn't really answer though. So I was a little bit confused by the parameters. This is just receiving head, right? What was the confusion?
Starting point is 00:26:59 You said getting. You're giving? I said giving. Eating puss. Oh, you're counting eating puss. You said getting. Oh, well that's clearly you're kind of eating puss. He said getting. Oh, well, that's clearly you've eaten way more puss. Correct.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Correct. There's pussy in your throat. Sort of like Roger Rabbit. Oh, bad. Steven, have you eaten more pussy or McDonald's? I see McDonald's a lot, so. Time spent or you see pussy a lot, too? Fish filet or? I mean, you don't eat McDonald's a lot. Time spent? Time spent. You see a lot too. Fish filet? I mean, you don't see McDonald's in like five minutes.
Starting point is 00:27:31 I mean, I guess you could. But water fountain drinks are quick. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I was Catholic. Head. It's one, two, three. Head takes for fucking ever. Like, what the fuck, guys? Yeah, one, two, three, tap.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Well, not if you're sucking Steven. Yeah. Oh. One, two, three, tap. Itchy not if you're sucking Steven. Yeah. No. One, two, three, tap. Itchy trigger finger. It's probably head, yeah. If you go to a sports camp or he did wrestling, I did basketball, tennis, whatever. You're getting a lot of head.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Water fountain is like, are there multiple times a day? Water bottles. That's a whole different story. Yeah. I spend a lot of time at fountains. I feel like water fountains are kind of going out of style now because they always have the one where you fill up. Yeah. Hydration station.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Yeah. I said I don't think I've had a water fountain in like 10 years. At an airport you haven't? I haven't had it. An airport? That sounds gross. Hell no. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:28:16 I had one this morning. Buy a water. You did? I had a water fountain this morning, yeah. Oh, what? You got one in your house? No, I went to a workout class and I- Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Oh, your Pilates shit. Yeah. I went to a workout class. Oh, okay. On your Pilates shit. I went to a water fountain. Rona's cut up. Were you slacking a little bit? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I walked a lot. You know, Mediterranean lifestyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:35 The blue zones and all that. Where were you? Because you were not in Barcelona. Barcelona. To start, I was in Barcelona. Hell no. That field of purple flowers was undeniably Spain, right? No, that was-
Starting point is 00:28:48 France. Gingerbread houses. That shit was in France. And- Did you go to Italy? I took a boat that went to the- To Italy? It took us to Italy.
Starting point is 00:28:59 That was like a spontaneous thing. Went for a little swim, yeah. Go see Italy. You have to show your passport? Yeah, no. Really? And then Monaco's a different country too. Yeah. It's a different swim, yeah. Go see Italy. You have to show your passport? No. Really? And then Monaco's a different country, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:07 It's a different country, so I went there as well. Monaco's like four city blocks. Yeah, it's tiny as fuck, but it was lovely. Yeah. It was beautiful. Not a lot to do, but it was fucking sweet, dude. It was all sweet. It was lovely.
Starting point is 00:29:21 It made me want to go on a trip with the Yaks so badly. I just want to go on a trip with the fucking gang so badly. I just want to go with the fucking gang. You got to have Owen win the World Series. Where would we have gone? Can we just fantasize like when you play the lottery and you're like, what kind of house would I buy? Where would we have gone if you had won the World Series? I've had a longstanding tradition since I started here. I would always throw massive parlays to take the whole sportsbook social group to Mykonos.
Starting point is 00:29:45 That was not – Ooh. So, yeah, the plan was if I won, I was just going to probably – Meek? Yeah, Mykonos to start. What would you have won if you had just made the final table, if you finished like top 10? Like $900,000. I said 10% goes to a trip.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Yeah, it ranges from like 1 to 10 mil for the final table. So we could have gone for a trip. So $90,000? Yeah. Yeah. $90,000 for a trip? We're just eliminating taxes from this entire hypothetical. $45,000?
Starting point is 00:30:10 It would probably end up, you would probably pay for more than half of it when it's all said and done. But it would start out as my treat. It's actually good you didn't win. Yeah, you would have been out a lot. Or lost money. Meekinosh, we're in Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club and Meek and I were...
Starting point is 00:30:26 Yeah, is that up? Nah, we can't go there. Why? Let's go to like Porto or something. All right, so yeah, you... Okay, okay. Yeah, no, we would have lost money. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:35 If we had finished... Oh, six or something like that. Yeah. Kind of the sweet spot where you could... 10th doesn't get anything? 10th gets... No, no, no, they do. 10th at the World Series?
Starting point is 00:30:44 Everyone left makes money. Like a million, no, no. They do. Tenth at the World Series? Everyone left makes money. Like a million, right? 500K? Yeah. How many people are in the money? What's this guy's deal? 12 was in the money when he came in like 35th or something. 15% of and there was 8,300.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Didn't he get, Vince got like 90K? Yeah, he came in 75th one year. Sheesh. Once people get knocked out, is there like a hangout area where like, oh, we're knocked out, it is what it is, like you're all partying, or is it like a like – No, they all go and start playing more expensive tournaments. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:14 Is that everybody else? Everybody else, yeah. So there's like 90 tournaments running. So they bust the main and they go and buy in for a 5K in the room next door. But I was doing what you were talking about. Okay. Walking around, yeah, soaking it in. So next year you But I was doing what you were talking about. Okay. Walking around, yeah, soaking it in.
Starting point is 00:31:28 So next year you need to have... Super fun to view as well. Next year you have to have bust out money as well. Yeah. All right, so we'll make sure that's set up. I think that we could kind of crowdsource it. You're a popular enough poker luminary that I think the people... Or just like Westie. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Sponsorship. I told you you'll always have a seat, because I'm now committed. We're going to make our money back. Is there any other tournament? It was crazy. I want you guys to feel it. I wanted to feel it.
Starting point is 00:31:54 I wanted you to get it. I felt like I wanted to go. I want you guys to play eventually. No. It was unlike any other tournament. After the first update, Stephen was like, we won. He was like, won he was like yes we got this
Starting point is 00:32:06 well that yeah that was the other thing I knew that the public didn't fully comprehend how long it was I knew how long and I sort of
Starting point is 00:32:14 let that go for the narrative like I don't there was never a point where I actually I did think I was gonna win yeah I fully think
Starting point is 00:32:22 everyone there at some point they're like oh this I have like when you buy the lottery ticket within the first hour yeah we should all go play next year win. I fully thought it was going to You think everyone there at some point they're like oh this I have this. Like when you buy the lottery ticket. Within the first
Starting point is 00:32:26 hour. Maybe we should all go play next year. Maybe we could just like play a game just without us first or
Starting point is 00:32:33 something like that so I could learn the rules. So I could learn the terminology of what to do and say. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I think the rush would be. How mad is this if we didn't know the rules? Yeah. No idea. Can you explain the
Starting point is 00:32:45 rules well that's why the dude that kessler was so furious like that's what i love about it was my first tournament ever i think i did a pretty good job and we left in the same hand so i think that's what gets dude you ruined his chance if we're all at a table with a different like top star pro and just like fuck them over with playing horribly i think it'd be hilarious especially if you fuck with them when they get mad. That's happened to me at blackjack tables before because I don't really know shit and guys will get pissed off at me and I'll be like, oh sorry daddy, should I play how you want me to play?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah. I would have sent Helmuth, you would send him into a fucking blitz. I don't know, I could tell people get annoyed when you're not playing the exact style that everybody else is playing because they all study the same solvers and models. It's just like quants.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Then I'm like, all right, so I'm just going to kind of play crazier. So that's what I did. I ended up all in a bunch of times. I won a few. I mean, chaos is how you beat some kind of system like that where everybody's playing the same thing, like the variance of chaos. Yeah. I had one hand where I just jammed all in on the turn
Starting point is 00:33:44 and an old-ass dude tanked for six minutes and called. Variance of chaos. Yeah. Yeah, I had one hand where I just jammed all in on the turn, and like an old-ass dude tanked for like six minutes and called, and then no like dramatic or anything. They just ripped the river, and I needed a diamond, hit it, and that was just like, oh, my God. Oh. And imagine Kessler. I didn't tell anybody. This was like the first hour session, so I would have lost right away.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I would have. It was fun. Yeah. Sick. That's really cool. All right, should we spin have been fun. It was fun. Yeah. That's sick. That's really cool. All right, should we spin the wheel? Yeah. Presented by Wood.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Getwood.com, a local CVS. I use wood. Actually, I need some new wood. I fuck with the pomade. All right, so we're taking Monster Rip off. Whoever kisses me is going to get a mouthful. Oh, for real? Oh.
Starting point is 00:34:24 You have a bomb next to my bed. I have suggested some replacements. Alright, so let's hear their suggestions for replacements. Monster Dip, which is Chaw Dogs. Oh, that's not bad. Monster Sip, which is shotgunning some sort of beverage. I like Monster Dip.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Monster Lip. Yeah, Monster Dip. Oh, you get Botox? Oh, Botox. You were doing Botox. Monster Quip. Yeah. Mickey.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Take it away. Monster Flip. I'm the only one here who can backflip probably. Monster Dick. You have to get fucked in the ass. Yeah, by someone. That's good. Yeah, Nick realistically. Nick, realistically.
Starting point is 00:35:05 Monster Nick, we'll call it. I always forget my name rhymes with every word. So I think we go monster dip, and it can either be you have to put in an entire tin, or you can finish an entire bottle of Tostitos salsa. Or you can go cannonball in a pond. Yes, yes. You have 30 minutes to find a body of water to jump into.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Monster dip. Or you could hold a plank on your back forearm for four minutes. Holy fuck. I call it dip. Yeah. Work out. I know you work out. All right, let's spin that shit.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Monster nip. No. Those are mine. Well, well, well. Oh my God. All right. So we need some Ritz crack. I'm going to throw up.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Oh no, no, no. Nixing it. This is the old KB. Nixing it. This KB doesn't exist. I'm going to throw up. Nixing it. Monster rip off.
Starting point is 00:36:00 We're not doing double Ritz. Bazaar scream crying. I'll stay at the Carlton two nights in a row. Yeah, that's what it should be Yeah Yeah We have writs Yeah we should do that
Starting point is 00:36:10 And we're just spinning a wheel Who has to do it Yeah No everyone's gotta do Double writs Can we eat our own though I don't know KB's gotta make it for us
Starting point is 00:36:18 Oh That's so gross We're not doing it on camera either We'll do it Yeah we are Yeah we are Wheel Yeah, we are. The wheel is just. I'm not eating KB's double Ritz.
Starting point is 00:36:30 What if we make our own double Ritz and KB has to approve it like Gordon Ramsay? Okay, that's fine. Can you go downstairs and grab a box of Ritz crackers? Yeah, thank you. Unchewed. Counterpoint. Don't, don't. This is delicious.
Starting point is 00:36:44 I'm excited chewed up food is so gross I know trust me anybody who it would be palatable to get it chewed by or something like that
Starting point is 00:36:55 I am down for KB what if content Kim has to make them I'm grossed out by myself like I'll throw out from just me doing it here Ron out content Kim bakes them I would take hers over my own engrossed out by myself. I'll throw out from just me doing it. I hear Ron out.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Content Kim bakes them for us. I'll take hers over my own. It's going to be great. Content Kim has lovely fashion. Can I just say that? She went five or five on this. I look at the cuz I said so TikToks, and it's like, wow, Content Kim just has a natural, well-cultivated fashion sense
Starting point is 00:37:23 that I just admire deeply. That's how I feel. I kind of want to get Kamasta's take on it, like a natural, well-cultivated fashion sense that I just admire deeply. Yeah. That's how I feel. I kind of want to get Kamasta's take on it or recap on his... All right, let's get him in. We don't need him. Joey. He knew exactly.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Oh, yeah. Immediate. Ooh, me. Here. You sit here for a second. Are you spotting? Hey, Joey. Joey, hey.
Starting point is 00:37:45 How's everyone? How we doing? We want to know about how your weekend was down the shore. My trip down the shore? Yeah, with just Jeff and you. It was just Jersey Jeff and me. I stayed in the house by myself. Jeff stayed in a house with Glenny Balls stuffing it.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Oh, they were stuffing? Glenny Balls wasn't there, though. Oh, he just stayed in the house with his stuff. Just the stuff How many pictures of the girls That Jeff takes pictures with How many of those girls Is he stuffing
Starting point is 00:38:09 Zero of them Really What One of them Is he here One of them had sex with Tommy Jesus Christ Let's not do this
Starting point is 00:38:18 Hottest one Hottest one So they were walking And he was like He's like one of these girls And he said Can you be the most awkward one or the hottest one? There's not going to be any in between.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Was this last year or this year? Don't say names. It was last year. Don't say names. Oh, it was last year. Tall girl. Oh, yeah, last year, Tommy, he destroyed the shore. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Up and down. Yeah. Now he's monogamous. And, Joey, we also wanted to know your ranking of the top five people in the office that you would let chew up a Ritz cracker and then you would eat. Snapchat Steve's number one. That was quick. Very obvious.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Justin Mancini. Yes. Chris from – D'Agostino. Yeah, Chris D'Agostino. Billy Football and Ebony. Okay. That's perfect. That's the
Starting point is 00:39:09 right answer. Nick, did I tell you? Nick and I were nude together this weekend. Oh, Nick. Where? I went to the bathhouse with Joey. Oh, yeah. And he lusts after these men, and I was just in a towel. Nothing. Nothing from him. Got no lust? Well, you guys have a platonic friendship. Yeah, I had to be respectful. There's nothing wrong with that. There goes Snapchat Steve.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Joey was a monster in the ice bath. Ooh. Couldn't get him out. Oh, did he get in? Yeah, for a minute and a half. Yeah. Rogan numbers. So then I'm like hearing, I was so proud of myself because I felt, it was a bro bonding
Starting point is 00:39:39 experience. It was. Because you really have to like, it's like, you know, going on, climbing a mountain or something. It's like, I mean, you're terrified. You have to be like, he was hyping me up. So Nick was like, no, you do it. You're a beast, Joe.
Starting point is 00:39:47 You stay in five more seconds. I was out of the tub. Ten more seconds. I was pointing down at him. I was like so excited about my masculine feet that I did. In the locker room, I overheard two gentlemen talking about how long they stayed in. And it was less than I did. So I went up to them and I said, I use this term I've heard on the internet before.
Starting point is 00:40:01 I've never used it before. I said, and they were saying, however long I stayed in, I said, oh, yeah, I hit my PR this week. My PR this week, it was $1.30. The dudes were so impressed. He said $1.30. $1.30. He said $1.30.
Starting point is 00:40:16 They're like, let's fucking go, dude. That's what's up. But I said PR. Like, I heard. Oh, you nailed it. Straight terminology. $1.30. For the five, six listeners getting bottom surgery, what size would you go with?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Well, if I was getting bottom surgery, I'd probably go with the full eight. But you're small. You can't have that thing hiding in your pants. Because when you're at bottom surgery, you get to pick your own dick size. A friend of ours is getting it. And he's going with a 5'6. Perfect. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Respect. Respectable. Yeah, that's great. Thank you, Joey. You're welcome. Thank you for to 6. Perfect. Perfect. Respectable. Yeah, that's great. Thank you, Joey. You're welcome. Thank you for having us. Yes, thank you, Joey. Kate, if you don't get those earbuds off my desk, I'm coming for you. Get them out. Get them out, Kate. We're recording right after this and Zah's going to be fucking wasted.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah, so again, Wednesday will be Nick's Wild. Oh, here are our rits. Let's go. to be fucking wasted. Yeah, so again, Wednesday will be Nick's Wild. Oh, here are our Ritz. Let's go. That was too fast. Yeah, everyone can just pass it around. Thank you, Spider. Ritz is one of the best old American brands. You could watch a movie from
Starting point is 00:41:17 the 1940s and they had Ritz Crackers. Marble and Ritz. That was the only thing that was on the counter. Cuisinart. Wrigley. Wrig thing that was on the counter. Cuisinart. Oh, it was Cuisinart? Wrigley. With the hands. Yeah, Wrigley's been in the game. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:29 My grandma was always chewing fucking tea berry gum. What is Ritz? Is it like everything? Ritz factories in West Village Meatpacking District. Okay, so we're taking one out, chewing it. We need three total? Two. Oh, I thought it was that we were making a sandwich of them.
Starting point is 00:41:44 This is so disgusting. We need three. Yeah, no. I I thought it was that we were making a sandwich of them. This is so disgusting. We need three, right? Yeah, no. I'm such a pussy. Is it a sandwich? You do make a sandwich. My mom clarified. You eat one and then use two.
Starting point is 00:41:54 Do you need some? No. Yeah, I need some. Oh, here you go. Would anyone like mine? Yeah. No. Double ritz?
Starting point is 00:42:01 Double ritz for anyone? For anyone? Okay. All right, so now, wait, so you make a sandwich? Can I do open face? No, that wouldn't. Only if you pour a gravy. Yeah, you can use gravy.
Starting point is 00:42:13 One more Ritz, please. Ew, no one looks. We're cubed Ritz. Oh, come on, look. Oh, wow, you really pureed yours. Oh, Ron. Oh. This looks like chicken liver. Oh, Ron. Oh. So gross.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Yours looks like chicken liver. Oh, Ron. That's how it should be. I feel like that's how you get the peanut buttery texture. I've got more of a crumble going. Yeah, mine looks like a chicken salad. Use some of your saliva. Don't just chew it up. I was trying.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Ritz are one of the drier. You guys going to do it in there? Saltine would like a word. My shit looks good. My shit looks like chicken. Cheers, boys. Cheers. Delicious. It's good. When you do it like I did it, it's good.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Oh, that is good. That's really good. That is good. It's creamy. It gets that creamy texture. My Ritz got cold in the middle. What, do you want it to be hot? I want it to be hot. This is so fucking gross. Oh, no, this is good. Wait. Because it adds
Starting point is 00:43:08 a little bit of moisture. It's making me disgusted that you should do this like a lot. No, his mom needs to do it for him. I never did it. It adds moisture.
Starting point is 00:43:16 It's not gross. It adds a little moisture that you need. Yeah, it's not bad. Zah's gagging hard back there. Is he doing it? He's really good. No, he's just seeing it.
Starting point is 00:43:23 You have to do it. The optics of it. It's not that gross. Does anybody do this subconsciously, like when they're eating chips or Oreos, they'll still have stuff in the lab? I'm going to say this. I think KB should have to make one and we spin the wheel. Someone has to eat KB's.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Fair enough. Chances are it won't be you. Yeah. It's not going to be me. You've ruined it. It's not going to be me. All right, spin the wheel. Everyone on it. I don't want you. Yeah. It's not going to be me. You've ruined it. It's not going to be me. All right, spin the wheel. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Everyone on it. I don't want that. Elimination wheel. I might throw up for real, but I'm down, I'm down. I'm going to eat it. I have chills. What are the odds it's one of us? 0%.
Starting point is 00:43:55 0%. No, it's guaranteed to be one of us. It's going to be KB. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, I guess 100. KB's going to make his own. KB has to be on the wheel, too. Yeah, he can't be on the wheel.
Starting point is 00:44:04 During elimination? Yeah. But the wheel's going to be pissed KB has to be on the wheel too, yeah. He can't be on the wheel. During elimination? Yeah. But the wheel's gonna be pissed off at us for taking off the monster head. Yep. This is exactly what we needed to do. I would rather get swirled again. Oh, come on. That was a... Like, if you just close your eyes. So it's Owen? No, no, no. Elimination.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Elimination. Owen and KB have probably already done this with each other. He really doesn't want to do it. Fuck you. Yes. Hit him. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:31 I would have loved to do it. I would have did it. I have literally no problem doing it. Maybe I'll just have a little side one. It's like beluga caviar. Yes. Here you go, Kate. No, I'm free.
Starting point is 00:44:44 The wheel is truly just they tell themselves there's some harassment yeah are you there I have the best Nick Nick is
Starting point is 00:44:50 he has PTSD from the wheel I've he knows he knows what's about to happen I've made fun of like this lip bump
Starting point is 00:45:00 Kyle's had on his mouth forever and now if that gets passed to me yeah massive lip massive lip. Massive lip. Not contagious. Especially not through a double ritz.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Come on. How'd you get that sore? There you go, Nick. What are we celebrating for? Nick has gotten the bad end of the wheel many times recently. Throw up from the one I just ate. Got my stomach unsettled.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Zaza. No. No. Oh, man. Oh, my days. Oh, my days. He's going to run out of here so he doesn't have to do it, and there's going to be a dude waiting to kiss him outside.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. All right. There you go, Zah. Hey, Zah, don't get too comfortable. I'm happy for you, bro. Zah's my boy.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Zah, yeah, I wanted to be Zah so bad. So bad. All right, me and Sass. You want to go best of seven, Sass? Let's do best of seven. Sass, how do you feel, bro? Why don't you get it prepared? This shit is not your style.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Oh, his mouth was so wet. Get it prepared. Chew it a lot. Chew it a lot. Chew it a lot. Don't just have some crumbly bullshit. All right, best of seven. Sass, you know this would be the wheel being just.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Not that you were the one. I'd rather take the monster rip. Kyle's using his whole... All right, monster rip seven. Sash, you know this would be the wheel being just. Not that you were the one. I'd rather take the monster. Kyle's using his whole. All right, monster rip back on the table. Right now? Yeah, yeah. That's a lie. I wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:46:31 You can pick. I'd rather do the rits. Okay. Monster rits. Too much shit. All right, here we go. Oh, I heard that. I heard it, dude.
Starting point is 00:46:41 This is so disgusting. I can't make anyone do that. No, no, stop. Yeah, KB. KB, throw it. Throw it. Stop. This is so disgusting. I can't make anyone do that. No, no, stop. Stop. KB, KB, throw it, throw it. Stop. Oh, my God, I almost puked. That sound, oh, my God, that sound was so bad.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Where did it come from? It came from, like, the back of your car. There might be some residual pussy in that. Yeah. I was going to say, that's what good pussy sounds like. You were down the shore, yeah. Of all the shit we've done, this is the most middle school shit. Yeah, this is foul.
Starting point is 00:47:08 All right, let's spin the wheel. Let's get this over with. This is the most. That's the monster wits. So mad. Ew, dude, look at it. Ew. Ew.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Zoom in on it before you spin. Ew. I'm losing out this time. Oh. Do not do it out. Is it moving? KB, stop. Throw it away.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Throw it away. Stop, KB. Stop. What are you doing? You got to make another. You got to make another. You have to make another. Make a little dryer.
Starting point is 00:47:34 All right. I felt what came out of my mouth. Okay. It wasn't right. It looked cheesy. All right, so spin it and then make it. Spin it and then make it. It looks like queso fundido.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Wait to make it. All right, best of seven. It make it. Spin it and then make it. Looks like queso fundido. Wait to make it. All right, best of seven. It's whoever gets to four first is safe. One sass. I don't want that, though. Use wood grooming products. The wood wheel. One, one. Use wood grooming products. The wood wheel. 1-1.
Starting point is 00:48:10 I got a side cracker just while I watch. They are good. They're so good. I see why they've stayed around. 2-1 Sass. Nervous yet? Side cracker. That's why you were on 21st and Prime, right?
Starting point is 00:48:26 Oh! Bazing! Oh, man Oh, my God Oh, my days Rewind, Sass! Whoever gets to four first is taking it No?
Starting point is 00:48:46 What? That's not what it is Fucking dick I need a comeback here No Alright let's go Double Ritz me Okay Here we go Fearless
Starting point is 00:49:02 I lowkey wanted this disgusting thing in the world today. No, he knows how to make them. This is the most disgusting thing in the world today. The guy knows how to make the double dance. This is Mario Batali going to the fucking kitchen. He's dancing in the kitchen for you. He's really lighting it up. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:49:15 That's how he shows it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Win it, dude. Mixing it on the inside. Win it, dude. Mixing it on the inside. Quit it, dude. God damn. Enough, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Oh, what are you licking? Oh, you're not even looking at it? Show it to the camera. Show it. Looks good. Looks like a vanilla Oreo. Hold the fattest end out towards the camera. Oh, big guy.
Starting point is 00:49:44 I don't even want you to do this. Now, some people are going to think I'm just going to throw this in my mouth. I'm going to enjoy this. Ew, dude. It looks like tuna salad. It's so gross. Ew, it's on his tongue. What the fuck? Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:12 All right, fuck it. Oh, I hate this. I hate this. It's delicious. That's so gross. I can tell you've made these before. You're going to come at me for this. I didn't want this.
Starting point is 00:50:32 I saved the last bite. It's so good. A little bookend of the meal. Oh, yeah. Wait, get back to me. Oh, God. Ew. Oh, my God, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Delicious. It's making me nauseous in a primal way. All right. Wait, show him your empty palm and say, oh, I guess he didn't like it. Please. Come on, more. Clean plate club. Respect.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Respect. All right, now that's over. Are we taking that off the wheel? No. I want a double-rich s'more. Oh, gross. Double-rich s'mores? Yeah. A double-rich s'more! Oh, gross. Double-writz s'mores? Yeah!
Starting point is 00:51:07 A double-writz s'more. That was pretty gross. Yeah, that's... All right, we're over it. You need another one. Get one and wash it. Even Joey would say that's gay as fuck. Listen, I needed...
Starting point is 00:51:14 Wash that down. You gotta lead from the front sometimes. There was some... Yeah, that was brave as fuck. We angered the wheels, so I gotta be a leader. That was brave as fuck. And now you can't say that you make people do shit. Correct.
Starting point is 00:51:26 I just ate the double ritz. You ate the double ritz from KB's mouth to your... God damn, was that good. Want another one? Your tips. But again, what did you guys think? Delicious. So bad.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Of your own creations. No, yours was good too, buddy. I like mine. I get it. I'm repulsed by saliva. I'm with you. It's the exact same texture as peanut butter and crackers. Yeah, but it's not.
Starting point is 00:51:49 How not? It's spit. Suspension of the meat. It's the texture. You like the sci-fi movies and shit like that. Yeah, you like Star Wars. Yeah. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:51:58 I guess you're right. Oh, that was so good. How could that sword even be made out of light? That shit doesn't even make sense, Nick. In other words, not a Pokemon guy who says he doesn't like double writs. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:10 When I win the World Series of Poker, I'm going to use all the money to hire KB to just make me double writs. Like how Snoop has a board roller? Yeah, it's my double writs guy. You want one? He's paid $50,000 a year with a backpack full of rich guys. Yeah, he's the Kramer.
Starting point is 00:52:23 He's got Ritz crackers in his briefcase. Just make them any time. Feeling a little hungry. Does the dance help with the flavor? Oh, it did, yes. I can attest to that. That was at the kitchen dance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:34 It was a teenager. It was made with love. I could feel it. TJ, is there any chance we could just watch Kyle squirm? I want to watch him dance again. We should probably drink some more. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. We could put that to some kind of music
Starting point is 00:52:47 or something like that. Out of water. Delicious. That was probably a teaspoon of spit in that at least. Oh easily. I love it. It'd be really shitty if I got COVID.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Kyle's like yeah I got COVID. I was like, yeah, I have COVID. It's like, oh, I haven't. Oh, shit. I ate a double rinse. You never checked if that lump on the lip was contagious. I had a hemorrhoid in my mouth. It was.
Starting point is 00:53:16 For a month. Is that what the saltiness was? It felt like a hemorrhoid. That was that extra flavor. Some escargot. Looks like a spider laid eggs on your lip. Congratulations, Nick. I don't think we've had a show since you won, right? BVA? Me and Kyle
Starting point is 00:53:29 won. AB won. Oh, no spoilers, bro. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Kyle won. It was awesome that my lip was at its biggest for that. My debut of reality TV. By far the biggest video so much beyond. My God, did it look big. Episode one was like a mountain.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Your abs look fucking, your whole waistline looks cinched. It didn't matter. It looks snatched as fuck, bro. No, the lip bump is. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I thought I was like, it wasn't that noticeable. You said that was a PED when you were going down on girls. Yeah, because it kind of, it's like its own clit.
Starting point is 00:54:06 It's clit on clit. It's clit on clit. A little clit on clit. It has the same texture of a clit. It's like a bone stimulator if you buzz it. Could you buzz it? Could you make it vibrate? Like the bell at a hotel bed. It peaked in Madigan.
Starting point is 00:54:23 It's like a tuning fork. It's actually an F minor. That was on the left. That's what he was doing. We're scaring away all of our hoes. They're all exiting out. Little known fact, that was on the left side of your lip. You were self-conscious about it. You got a magnet and moved it to the right side.
Starting point is 00:54:42 You couldn't get it out, but you can move it around. That was delicious. You fool. I could have another. No, you could. No, you could. By the way, we're at 94.5 thousand. Out after this.
Starting point is 00:54:58 We need everyone to hit that subscribe. Let's get to 100. I want to be at 100. When the poker people were doing their stream, they were just like, and if this gets to 5K likes, we'll keep going. And then they just instantly hit 5K likes. It was in like half a second. Oh, and Army's strong.
Starting point is 00:55:13 What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wish the Yak fans would do that with us. I'm not. Subscribe, please. They just have 10 times in a row already, so they're just out of burner accounts to keep resubscribing to us.
Starting point is 00:55:24 There's only like 10 people listening. Oh yeah. I submitted my donation to be expensed my $1.99. You did? Kind of like half jokingly to see if they would. They will.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Any luck? Yeah. Oh yeah. Alright. Do you want to tease some of the stuff we have planned for 100K? What do we have planned for 100K? You want to remind me?
Starting point is 00:55:44 Yeah, tease us. We promised a 12 hour stream at 100K? What do we have planned for 100K? You want to remind me? Don't. It teased us. We promised a 12-hour stream at 100K. Okay. So we will do that. Not doing that. And maybe we should do
Starting point is 00:55:53 some merch or something for it. And then I thought we had a coin-related thing about it. What? Coin-related thing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:01 We have more coins. That will be released. What if we just like... We haven't released all the coins yet. I held back... How many coins were released and how many were sold? I think it was 100.
Starting point is 00:56:10 I think we sold 250 or was it 500? 500? 250. 250. We sold 125 in like literally four seconds. And then I told Welker to hold 100. I think it was like 100 or 125 back. So if you missed, you'll have another chance. And maybe that's what we'll release when we hit 100. Or if you So if you missed, you'll have another chance.
Starting point is 00:56:25 And maybe that's what we'll release when we hit 100. Or if you're a real fan, you'll have two. Yeah. If you present us with two coins, we'll fuck you. And job. At least. We do need to hold one. There's a special guest friend of the program that's in New York City this week that would like one.
Starting point is 00:56:41 No way. Stefano's here? No, it rhymes with Ruda Wren. Kylo Ren? Ruda Ben? Ben is here. Oh, he definitely gets it. Ruda Ben should have to kiss all of us to get his coin.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Again. Yeah. That's how he says hello. Shout out Buddha. Is he going to stop by? Yeah, he should be in later this week. Okay. For merch, I want to make a simple hat for us.
Starting point is 00:57:06 What fit do you guys like that we sell? I like the trucker. Yeah, the... Trucker or just, yeah, the... Yeah. The snapback, the chicken fry smiley face one. Yeah, that's a nice fit. We should do a merch where it's like 10x, but it's 100x for 100k.
Starting point is 00:57:24 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Some kind of chain. I think that we should bury something in Central Park and have a bunch of people out digging up the park. I would love that. I would love that. That would be awesome.
Starting point is 00:57:35 A bunch of Pokemon Go style people running around looking for something with a shovel. But wait, you guys are interspersed throughout the park giving the next direction. So you get to the next clue and then Roan gives you a riddle. You figure out Roan's riddle, you go to the next thing and there's KB. It'd be great if we just buried KB alive with a sleeve of Ritz
Starting point is 00:57:54 and so you unbury him and he's just sitting there spitting into a Ritz cracker. And it's not the right location. She's like, nope, this isn't the spot. You have to eat this. Maybe you were eight feet underground. Didn't we kind of do this for the show?
Starting point is 00:58:11 We did something where they had to go to the bar and answer a question. I forgot about it. Oh, yeah. They went to Central Park and dug up KB. What did they have to answer at the bar? It was like a sharky duck riddle, I believe. It was the ski ball bar where it held like 40 people, and we brought 15.
Starting point is 00:58:33 It was awesome. It was a standing room only bar. There was like two people there to see us. It was a live show that you couldn't be near us. You had to be in the back. You had to watch it on a TV. We should do another one at that bar. Dude, that was our best live show
Starting point is 00:58:48 ever. No crowd rules. I want to do a live show for one person, so there's more of us, and they're just there. Not allowed to talk. Basically what we did. One ticket. I remember we were all super nervous. It's going to be fucking packed, dude. Speak for yourself. There's like two people
Starting point is 00:59:03 there. You saw Sharky duck. Somebody sent me a video of a shark getting brutally eaten by a duck the other day. You mean the other way around? The other way around. Yeah, T-Toy. Show us some titties first. Oh!
Starting point is 00:59:19 Oh, it finally happened. Finally happened. Hey, we can end the show now. Yep, that's it. That's it. That's all the yak. Yeah. The yak is over. Finally happened. Hey, we can end the show now. Yep, that's it. That's it. That's all the yak. The yak is over. Series.
Starting point is 00:59:28 All we needed was one duck to get eaten by a shark. All right, let's wrap up this show because we've got to tape Nick's Wild. We'll be back live tomorrow, and then Wednesday we'll have Nick's Wild. I want another double rinse. Oh, don't do it. I don't. Hands up, Dom. I actually really want to drink some water Yeah you should Alright we'll see everyone tomorrow Alright See you tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Bye.

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