The Yak - KB Travels Across the World Through VR | The Yak 4-9-24
Episode Date: April 9, 2024Name three cities in ChinaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up.
Oh, my.
You okay?
Just us three.
Just the boys.
Big three.
All right.
Mook, fresh out of Providence.
Brandon, fresh out of Philly.
You got to do that.
How are we feeling?
Roback.
Roback.com.
Zips, cruise, shirts, joggers.
Joggers.
Shorts.
I'd have shoes.
I don't know.
Ties.
I don't know what they got.
It's all quality.
It's all the best.
It's the most comfortable hoodies in the game.
Roback.com.
Use code YAK.
Get 20% off.
Roback.com. Yeah, where were you at? Did you go anywhere or were you in Chicago? Chicago. Yeah, I went to Philly for Mania. It was the
other big three. It was me, Robbie Fox, and Nate. Squaw. Nate was there. Nate was there.
Was it like a three-way thing? I kept saying that every day. Nate's here. I didn't know
he was a huge wrestling guy.
Huge wrestling guy.
Yeah.
Did you guys chill together?
I –
Or did you like big –
No.
Big time him?
I didn't big –
Well, that's –
I didn't big time him.
But I did –
You did.
I did stick to myself most of the weekend, yeah.
You stuck to yourself?
Yeah.
I stayed to myself most of the weekend.
You were a man of the people.
You were in the crowds. No, I came – I most of the weekend. You were a man of the people. You were in the crowds.
No, I stayed in the hotel, and then we stayed right across the street from the Redding Market in Philly.
Oh, fuck yeah.
So I would just go to the Redding Market every day about 12, get some lunch, go back, sleep,
and then it was time to go to WrestleMania.
Of course, we worked a lot.
We did some 2K events on Thursday and Friday, and we did a lot of that stuff.
But Philly was awesome.
We were right downtown. Beautiful place place did you meet any heroes uh i didn't meet any hero any heroes i did i have a picture and i don't i don't know i got within
about 15 feet of the rock whoa i and that's the closest i'll ever come to the rock i got within
about 15 feet there were there were thousands of people between me and him.
Uh,
he had literally,
he was walking backstage and event,
even backstage.
He had probably 12 cameras.
He had,
does he have a crew like a bodyguards?
Uh,
not bodyguards,
but he just has a traveling camera crew like at all times.
And there was just an aura around him.
He glowed.
He was,
he was a beautiful man.
It was,
it was the damnedest thing I've ever seen.
I've seen some really famous people,
but that was the most impressively
that guy's the center of the universe guy I've ever seen.
Yeah.
He, I mean, I know a couple years ago,
is he the most famous person in the world?
I don't know if he's the most famous person in the world.
I feel like he's top five, though.
The K-pop dudes are top four?
Maybe.
Barack Obama still, I feel like he's one of the most famous people in the world nah i feel like braun james filipino dudes love the rock yeah
that's true i feel like the rock might still be wwe is is very global and his movies are global
does china fuck with the rock too i think china fucks with the rock yeah i think China fucks with Iraq. I think everybody fucks with Iraq. Yeah.
Jay, what's the top?
Name four cities in China.
Big ones.
Over a million.
Shanghai.
Yep.
Yep.
Beijing.
Yep.
He's on a roll.
This is where they really separate the men from the boys right here.
Chinese
Chai going for the third
Chinese city. Small amount of peas.
Oh, uh...
Fantastic. Guangzhou.
Guangzhou.
Guangzhou. You definitely don't know
Guangzhou.
Spell it.
Guangzhou. He thinks if he says it Chinesezhou. Spell it. Guangzhou.
He thinks if he says it in Chinese, we'll take it.
All right, word, word.
You got it.
You got it.
Fourth one.
Say it super Chinese, Jay.
Lacey. Was that French?
Lacey
was that your JPP voice?
what are you saying?
Lacey
oh is that a city?
yeah
you don't know?
spell it
it's characters in my mind
that was funny as hell.
Kyle, give me three more cities with a million people in China.
There's so many.
Yeah.
Chongqing, Guangzhou, Tianjin, Hong Kong, you forgot.
Hong Kong is a country.
It's a city for sure.
Hong Kong's not a country.
For the surest.
It's an island.
Careful what you say.
It's a city.
Osaka is Japan, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
The fuck is happening?
That's offensive.
Seriously, Moog, come on.
You say Osaka how you would say it in Chinese.
But it's a Japanese city.
You can still say it how you would say it.
Raise the inflection of the first syllable. Well, no. It would change it in Chinese. But it's a Japanese city. You can still say it how you would say it. Raise the inflection of the first syllable.
Well, no.
It would change it completely.
Channeling my Godzilla voice.
Osaka.
What was your Godzilla-based impression?
When the doctor does the fire to the guys. uh uh what did you see the guys like past times
how's that still offensive coming from him i'll tell you what i did in philly friday night we went
to uh me and robbie and uh cody lanza went to francis's stand-up where was nate he wasn't there
yet he didn't get there until saturday uh so we went to francis's stand-up where was nate he wasn't there yet he didn't get there
until saturday okay uh so we went to francis's stand-up i had never seen francis oh really
he murders he is incredible he is fucking hilarious for like just an hour just killing it
i thought you know because i don't like francis at all i would you know i'd rather him be dead
than alive but it was fucking hysterical.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's great at it.
He's mastered the craft.
Yeah.
He's a, he's such a good speaker too.
Yeah.
And the pacing and everything.
And he played off the crowd so, so well.
It was, it was awesome.
It was a really, if you ever have a chance to go watch Francis Ellis do stand up, go
fucking do it.
Do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How about that club too?
Helium Philly?
Yeah, that was pretty good.
Awesome.
One of the best clubs in the country.
They gave us shitty seats.
But I couldn't see Francis.
You were on the side?
We were on the very side, yeah.
The very back and the very side. I could hear Francis, and he was doing great.
That's enough.
Sometimes I could see his nose.
Yeah.
But he was fantastic.
What did you feed on at the Reading Terminal Market?
Oh, boy.
There was a lot of stuff.
There was Stephen Che.
Did you go to that place?
I don't know why Stephen Che had recommendations, but he did.
He sent me to an Amish place to get chocolate milk.
Fuck yeah.
I didn't, but I heard it was good.
I had some smoked chicken wings behind the Amish place at a different place.
I had some ribs. Yeah. I hadish place at a different place. I had some ribs.
Yeah.
I had some oysters at an oyster place.
Pop off.
Yeah, it was good shit.
That place is crazy, man.
Yep.
Just dozens and dozens of good places to eat.
There's like 30 dank restaurants in the US.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know what dank means, but they were pretty good.
Nobody knows what dank means.
I keep saying dank.
Dank is like cold and wet.
Yeah. No. You don't want to be dank. That's damp that's damp i think that's dank that's dank as well that's dank and damn oh dank is like fire yeah yeah that's well that you didn't know that well no
dank is fire but dank is also is dank's not weed is it i think it is you can have dank's weed oh
yeah yeah um did you get like a, was it scary, the wrestle event?
No.
No, at no point did I get scared.
Did you get any souvenirs?
I tell you what, though.
I met the, I bought my daughter $300 worth of stuff.
Wow.
I met The Miz, which I'd interviewed him before on Zoom,
but I don't know if I'd ever met him in person.
And all he wanted to talk about was, he wanted to talk about the yak really he wanted to talk about clemmer's stream
and he wanted to talk about oh he was hip yeah he he really liked the ms is huge right yeah he's he's
he's big time and then and he really wants to do the yak gauntlet he said when the next time i'm
in chicago i want to do the yak gauntuntlet. And it's funny how different people get intimidated by different elements of the Yak Gauntlet
because the one thing he was scared of, he said, is the cornhole hard?
I said, no, it's just cornhole.
It's like any other cornhole you've ever played.
That's the least intimidating.
But that was the most intimidating to him.
He said, the rest of it looks easy.
He's just scared of the cornhole.
I guess starting off, if you don't get
off to a good start you could nah but that never fucks anyone up yeah you can't you can't be scared
of the cornhole yeah did you get a haircut i did yeah yes it looks great thank you i feel clean
um i went to the barber yesterday cut me down good feel like i shaved off like five pounds no
it definitely narrows out your face yeah and now there's just a giant pimple on my face you you cut five pounds of depression that's
what it felt like what do you when you get in the chair he's like please cut the depression yeah
take away all my pain yeah um it just stabs you in the fucking neck that would have been nice
actually um is the mustache different so the mustache is the thing the barber went to my my
guy anthony black barber good banter he does improv we're talking we're talking is that the
name of a shop or is that his race and his occupation that's his race and occupation yeah
and um he goes the mustache like that must be good for stand-up and i was like uh wise like as
soon as you get on stage people must start laughing at you like it's a gag yeah and i was like uh wise like as soon as you get on stage people must start laughing at you
like it's a gag yeah and i was like yeah yeah yeah you got it buddy yeah where are you going
he's over here now with me i can't just like keep fiddling with that kyle belongs with me
and you've always known that fuck uh how was providence as a city?
We didn't do the college part of it,
so it's just another staying at a Marriott off a highway,
drive 20 minutes to the show, get there.
Did you get a Providence-style panini while you were there?
I did not.
What differentiates a Providence-style panini? It's just tiny and it's extra pressed, like really, really pressed.
Like flat?
Really flat?
It's like the dimensions of a driver's license.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Doesn't taste any different.
Just thin.
Like bite-sized Jones?
Yeah, like tiny.
Yeah.
Flat is complete.
Oh, because, I mean, Rhode Island being the smallest state would have the smallest food.
Listen.
Listen.
Okay, sorry. Fart Eliminator happened on Friday. being the smallest state would have the smallest food listen listen okay sorry fart eliminator
happened on friday oh i heard about this i got some dm kate fucked up yeah she's fucked up in
the past she's she'll fuck up again but that's what makes her so charming um she let us get out
of here without doing it so i think we have to do it today. Okay.
I think that's supposed to be like an everybody thing.
We could.
I can text Big Cat because they're supposed to come. We're not asking permission from Big Cat to do the follow-up.
Or you.
Well, no.
I'm saying this is a big group thing that we do.
It's pretty rare that we do that.
Are those boys
for sure coming today?
I'll find out.
This motherfucker said, I'll text Big Cat
and see if it's okay.
Well, like, I think that that was something
that we put on the wheel
in the spirit of
all doing it together.
Can we fart?
We want to fart, but come on.
Please.
Please let me fart.
Who's won today?
Who's won?
Who's won?
Oh, he is.
No, I'm a 1B guy.
You're a 1B?
Supplement Brandon 1A.
And I'm still 7.
Well, that's a beauty.
You're still 7.
I'm still 7.
Yeah.
You need to let there be a pause after every time we speak yep
so it can trickle down to you by the way tomorrow the three of us are uh we're mini golf buddies
fuck yeah the uh we're in a pool together with ben mince yeah which is welcome to my unfortunate
reality ever since he got hired um i just get stuck with him for all these things yeah i didn't even know i was golfing
you didn't no no idea well i got here this morning and uh i'd show you my ego a little bit i got here
early i got here first and i there's a bunch of bags over there with everybody's
merch that they need to wear there's a bag they'll say mook on it a bag says kyle a bag that says
everybody's name and there were 38 bags and And I looked, and I looked, and I started looking for Brandon.
I was like, these motherfuckers told me I could play in this goddamn thing.
And I'm just getting mad.
I'm mad.
I'm starting to text people.
I turn around.
I go in my studio, and they had put it on my desk in Mostly Sports.
Did you throw a fit?
I was going to throw a fit.
Fussy fit?
I was going to throw a fit.
And when my sister got here, she said, yeah, I put your bag on your desk and just was the nicest thing to get.
Because, man, I want to start the day off by cussing my sister out.
It's just nice to start off a Tuesday like that.
Cussing your sister out is the best.
It really is.
Yeah.
Have you ever done it?
I don't have a sister.
Yeah, so no.
Having a good relative a little younger than you that you can cuss out every now and then is freeing.
Because I can't cuss out my kids.
Especially his sister.
I can't cuss out my kids the same way I cuss out my sister.
But you do.
No, I don't.
I don't cuss out.
Well, we all family here, right?
We're all in the trust tree.
Tommy's cussing now.
Oh.
Like, what's he saying?
Like saying, like, pussy and clit?
No, not as much that.
Like fucking Dan?
I'll hear him playing either Oculus or playing on, and the other day he was like, what the fuck?
Get the fuck off me.
And you don't.
Like, I cussed when I was 13, so I can't really.
Did you reprimand him?
Well, how can I?
That's the thing.
How can I, as a human being that cusses a lot, say, no, you shouldn't say that?
Because in five minutes, he's going to hear me saying.
Yeah.
So I do what a good judicious dad does.
I says, hey, man, just don't let your mama hear that.
Don't let your mom hear it.
That's a cool dad move.
Don't make him trust and like you more let your mom hear it that'll make him trust
and like you more don't let don't do it in school right don't do it in in front of elders but but he
was gaming during this right yeah i think a different set of laws apply to kids gaming where
they can say where they can cuss kids gaming is the wild wild west wild i used xbox parties in
the peak of like modern warfare public lobbies
race wars would break out yeah i would say shit that i could never repeat ever again um that's
the wild wild west what was it what did you say that you could never repeat on a mic
i like that noise uh i guess he's just kind of like a paradox.
Like two Julius Irvings.
Speaking of which, I've – oh, my God.
My weekend was so good I started saying penance last night
because what goes up usually goes down.
You're trying to put defense on what's coming back at you.
I even brought it because
it's i got a meta quest 3 yeah it's a vr yeah so i've never done vr before yeah
why did no one tell me it's didn't they do didn't y'all do it on the you guys know i've
been off the high country diesel you guys know i love immersive experiences didn't y'all do it
on the yak one day i never did it i didn't i was blown away yeah it's unbelievable what do you do on there i just
go to geographic locations i download like trex apps and oh i was on like horseshoe bend
overlooking the colorado river and i was just there yeah i was there was it 360 360 oh this is perfect perfect yes you're just actually
it's like going to the top tourist attractions in the world without any of the negative
environmental factor i didn't even think of that i was just there i just considered i was on a cliff
in norway overlooking fjords i was there yeah except i didn't feel like um shitty weather i didn't have to deal with
people i didn't have to walk around yeah just there man that is perfect for i tried playing
the games tennis was fun i always consider that thing just a game system because my kids only
play games they play like gorilla tag and all this shit. That's for the kids. But I didn't consider that. Google Maps is for the men.
Yes.
Just traveling to different places.
You can go on Google Maps just like you're there.
So you're looking forward to where you're going next?
I cannot wait to get back and put that on.
And who knows what I'll do.
Brandon, we're going to lose Kyle.
I'll never socialize again.
This is where we lose.
And you can socialize on it too.
You can meet dudes.
No.
Other dudes who don't want to be social.
Yeah.
You can meet other travelers.
And then I watched, even like YouTube is cool.
Is it anywhere?
Yeah.
It's like an IMAX.
Why does anyone rave about vr
i don't know it's a weird maybe i just have like a weird gene i feel like there was a two-month
period when oculus first came out that they did rave about it and then it just kind of got maybe
the novelty will wear out i'll give it that but i was watching i watched like japanese high school
sports for like three hours why that oh it's majestic what's what sport you i would start with baseball
their state their national champion they have a 4 000 team single elimination bracket
and i watched the finals yeah it is this beautiful stadium packed to the brim thousands of people it
looks like it's floating in japan and everyone is the the crowd only claps
they don't woo oh yeah i knew that so it's in uh the the baseball is smooth steven i want to watch
a youtube of japanese high school baseball if you can get that ready for tomorrow please and i also
watch the winter cup basketball um it's amazing they're 5'4", but they're the best, the most skilled basketball players you'll ever see.
Their swishes are unlike any –
Japanese teen swishes are unlike anything I've ever seen.
Is it Japanese nets?
Is it Japanese air?
They go directly –
Straight up and down?
No, they figured out the physics of how to make a perfect swish.
I see.
I want to see a Japanese swish.
You would like this.
I would like that.
I like pure – I like more pure high school baseball.
Now, I have, on TikTok before,
seen these accounts that are just like
Japanese high school baseball plays,
and it'll just be a kid laying down a bunt
and running it out.
They're good at bunting.
But the sound and everything is very, very pleasing.
That's what it was.
It was a pleasing aura. They're fundamentally sound. Everything they do is perfect, very pleasing. They might be the most. That's what it was. It was a pleasing aura.
They're fundamentally sound.
Everything they do is perfect, I feel like.
And it's just all crowd claps.
And there's like a band singing the same tune over and over again,
but it's not annoying.
It's got a beat to it, right?
It's like that, yeah.
It's a calming sensation.
I think Japanese people are just generally better than us.
Is this the high school?
This seems to be the pros.
Oh, no.
Oh, okay.
Fuck yeah.
Is this bigger than wrestlemania per capita viewership as the super
bowl does in america and it's a single elimination tournament meaning it's essentially a march
madness style bracket with as many as 4 000 teams a single loss ruins these kids dreams which is why
players dedicate everything like this kid who dislocated his shoulder went to the dugout in
agony had his manager pop his shoulder back into place,
and even while in extreme pain,
ran back onto the field to play.
This player got destroyed on this play
and needed a stretcher,
then refused a stretcher
and came back and played two minutes later.
This player got smoked in the head,
got carted off the field,
but refused to leave the game and still played. And this catcher got nailed in the face with a ball, knocked out multiple teams, stayed in the head, got carted off the field, but refused to leave the game and still played.
And this catcher got nailed in the face with a ball, knocked out multiple teeth, stayed in the game, and hit a double about an hour later.
In America, the NCAA only allows college athletes to practice four hours a day.
In Japan, it's not uncommon for these high school teams to practice seven hours a day, as well as 12-hour practices on holidays at elite baseball schools they have
over a hundred players on a team while only 20 of them are allowed to be in the dugout meaning
most players go through this extreme training schedule for all three years of high school
and even if their team makes it to the tournament they just have to watch from the stands but even
this is considered an extreme honor that's insane yeah did they bring
out the stretcher like three times yeah are they just quick with the stretcher i think they have
like just a squad on deck yeah i mean they're like the marines of of baseball that's a boot camp
seven hours essentially yeah that's like abuse i think fully yeah right they're minors that's like abuse, I think. Fully, yeah. Right. They're minors.
It's like ROTC.
What were you doing?
I apologize.
I just really had to pee.
Really had to pee?
Well, yeah.
We are 24 minutes in, Brandon. I had a very aggressive pee.
You missed the Jap ink.
I know, but I had to make a decision.
I just had to pee.
And I pee right before the show.
I've been peeing so much.
I upped my water intake
by probably 20 percent my urination is now up like 150 percent yeah and there's no like there
was no waiting there I could not it was either go now or just go in three minutes I was not going
to be able to wait to the end of the show so it is what it is and I'm out. And I'm out of breath. I'm out of breath.
How was the Japanese high school baseball, though?
I apologize for stepping out.
Yeah, but they're pretty much indentured servants.
You know what's also, all the way back to Nintendo days or Super Nintendo days,
Japanese baseball games for Nintendo are so much better.
I don't know why.
They're all so good.
What does that mean? Like the teams you play as are japanese um no no no uh like don't they make all this shit all the nintendo and
our super nintendo baseball games originate from japan but they'll keep some of them that we don't
get over here oh and the the animations and everything that they keep like we like a more
realistic game they like a more cartoonish game. Yes.
Yeah.
You know what today is? I stopped blogging about this a long time ago because y'all made fun of me.
Today is five years since the video, since Dave, Dave, since that one.
Wait, what video is that?
My initial video
that Dave found me.
That happened five years ago today. Oh, when you were live?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
The My Bookie video happened five years ago
today. Hey, congrats. And it was also
the Tuesday after a national title game.
And yeah.
So that was... And the tomorrow
is... How long ago does it feel?
I swear it feels 20 years that's how i
feel about five years ago yeah it feels 20 years ago would you say like yeah you lived a lot in
those five years uh and i i don't know if that's good or bad like i don't know it's good like if
my life had continued in the path it was i think it would have been fine i'm also fine now so i
don't know but i do remember this i was getting ready that night I did the video at three o'clock and
that night I had to coach my daughter's uh 10 year old softball game and so I'm standing on the uh
on the softball field listening to the CEO of that company I've been representing and trying
and he's trying to say this and that and then um tonight i have to go
for a coach's meeting i'm coaching my kids my youngest son's eight-year-old baseball team so
i'm getting back in the coaching game for the first time let's go yeah oh tonight yeah in that
moment were you did you foresee like what what it was going to be were you like aware of the
landscape of barstool and
like i was know how thrust it you would be into like i knew who different situations i knew dave
portnoy was and i knew um i knew pardon my take because in my previous job i had been the podcast
director at sec country in atlanta and i i got that job in 2017 and every one of my podcasters i had to go listen
to part of my take to before they started um because it was still new at the time but anyway
uh i did not foresee that no did you know like oh this is like kind of like a character based
company so i'm gonna get a lot of shit for being like a southern moron well no i actually
with a shitty haircut yeah did you see like oh they're gonna make fun of me for x y and z
i didn't see that i just dipped right into the brandon fucking walker character immediately oh
you did you were like more of a hard ass to begin with i did i did the i i somebody said um nobody's
listening to you now and i said said, I'm Brandon fucking Walker.
People will always be listening.
But the Brandon fucking Walker thing, I had done that when I worked at Radio Shack 20 years ago.
I made my name tag BFW.
And I tried to act like this hard-ass salesman and everything.
So I just dipped back into that.
And there it is.
You've always been in like WWEw i've always been in character mode
i used to do that shit selling sprint phones at a radio shack in west point mississippi that's
hard easily could have been you is there one or two people who like stopped that like it was a
big cat it was like that's not gonna work we're gonna make fun of you well no i as far as the
hard-ass routine yeah i mean i still do it a little i do it on twitter yeah it plays i do it
on twitter but i i can't live life like that.
So I kind of scale it back.
I've tried to do a face turn a couple times where I'm just nice to everybody,
and then it never –
How quickly from that day did you move to New York?
About three months.
I came to – I visited New York like April 25th that year.
I sat down with Dave, and I said, Dave, to do – you know, I want to be somebody in the company. He said, well, you need to be in New York April 25th that year. I sat down with Dave, and I said, Dave, I want to be somebody in the company.
He said, well, you need to be in New York.
I went outside, and I was thinking about it.
I thought about it for a couple days, and every employee at Barstool in New York said,
do not move here.
You don't want to be here.
Don't do it.
Stay where you're at.
Really?
What?
I didn't talk to you, but every single one that I talked to said that.
I went back into his office two days later.
I said, I want to do it, but everybody's telling me not to come.
And he said, yeah, they're idiots.
I said, okay, well, I'm coming.
Yeah, you had to have come.
I had to because there's no sense in halfway doing something,
either fucking do it or don't.
Yeah.
Wait, who told you not to come?
I don't want to say names.
Some of them are still in the company.
Some of them are not.
Oh, they were trying to, you know. I don't know what they were trying to do. I don't want to say names. Some of them are still with the company. Some of them are not. Oh, they were trying to, you know.
I don't know what they were trying to do.
I think they were trying to help.
Honestly, I don't.
You did hate it.
You were miserable.
It took me a while, but I hated New York.
I don't hate Chicago.
I know that.
It's night and day.
It's good to see.
In fact, I got my boat in the water yesterday.
No.
Yeah.
And it was beautiful last night, or yesterday.
Oh, it was fantastic.
You got wet?
I didn't get wet, but I got the boat in the water.
There you go.
Let's not bury the lead here.
What are you, baseball manager, baseball coach, are you wearing baseball pants?
Yeah, let's not bury the lead.
What pants are you wearing?
We don't want that lead to get there.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, stop.
Actually, you should.
Jay, I'm probably just going to wear whatever uniform shirt
and then probably these throwback joggers
or whatever shorts I happen to be wearing at the time.
Are you pitching as a coach?
Yeah, I think it's one of those leagues where it's kid pitch,
and then if the kid throws too many balls
or if the hitter can't do it, the coach steps in. You step pitch and then if the if the kid throws too many balls or if the hitter
can't do it the coach steps in and you step in and strike them the fuck out fuck let the kids
suffer miserably for hours of just walking batter after batter with no mercy rule no we got that
with that step-in rule where the coach can uh step in and do it so are you gonna wear a cup
probably not i'm pretty sure my coaches in little
league would wear cups i think mine did did they have so weird they still have the coach's shorts
at that point the coach's short the short coach's shorts oh my coach was in full uniform cup really
fucking little league you flying around the field and he would like taunt us he would pull it out
sometimes and like taunt him yeah i – This is so much bigger than yours.
Dude, my coach did the same shit.
I remember our coach in junior high knocking on our cups for the first time.
Yeah, they would test them out.
Yeah.
They had to really test them out.
I had an umpire do that to me, too.
We had to –
A great catcher.
We have to really accentuate the thing that you're now wearing a nut protector.
He was, like, doing uppercuts to my cup.
Yeah.
And then he was like.
Taking the end of the bat and popping it.
Pressing it to make sure it didn't pop.
Making sure there were two there.
He was like.
Yeah.
Telling you to cough.
This one year I was on JV.
I was like the emergency catcher.
So I didn't have a cup.
I went in to play catcher.
You never want emergency as part of your position.
Foul tip right to the nuts yeah i was i was on the ground at home plate screaming in pain like cussing yeah heavy yeah for like 10 minutes and they were like dude you have to like get off the
field like we have to finish that i was an umpire when i was 16 for 12 year olds yeah and i wasn't
wearing a cup behind the behind the plate and it went under the
catcher under him and right up into my nuts and there was under the cup i wasn't wearing it oh
i was i was behind the catcher i thought i was fine and it skipped under him and skipped right
up into into the old nut sack dude i'm scared that'll make you alive oh yeah yeah that'll make
you feel something being a 16 year old umpire 17 year old
umpire that was you for for for youth for like a 10 11 12 year olds fucking scary is the worst
fucking job in the world because adults just don't respect the fact that you're also they don't give
a fuck they don't give a fuck no oh my they are pieces of shit and whenever i see a video online
of it's truly insane insane how parents behave.
It's the worst.
Looking back, and I think it might be worse now, but back...
We had parents staging coups.
Oh, yeah.
We don't like what Todd's doing.
We might have to get involved here.
You ever see the coach's son just get berated by the coach?
And it's the most awkward thing in the world. They either get berated by the coach and it's like the most awkward thing in the
world oh yeah they either get berated or just coddled over praised yeah i was like 10 and like
we got we had to we got dq'd in the playoffs because we didn't play one of our on court this
one of our kids we just didn't put them in and you need to put them in for at least an inning
at least an inning in the field or in a bat or something like that yeah does anybody has any like parents like a maybe a mother ever ever gotten killed
walking up to a youth baseball game uh it actually this actually has happened wait wait yeah what
uh i think i remember seeing right and it came from the most unexpected batter too it was a
dwarven boy who was like extra dwar, like a Providence Panini.
And, oh, my God.
He never made contact with a ball.
Yeah, but he hit this ball pretty good.
Albeit a foul ball. Yeah.
Yeah.
Clonked her right in the head.
And that was it for her.
Yeah, instant death.
Instant death.
I remember that now, actually.
You do?
Yeah.
That was a big deal.
What is he up to? Is he still alive? I don't know. We circle back to him actually. You do? Yeah. It was a big deal. What is he up to?
Is he still alive?
I don't know.
We circle back to him about every six months.
Yeah.
I think he is, right?
Zod, his name isn't Michael.
Why are you asking Zod?
Is it?
That was fucked up.
They all know each other?
I don't know.
They're way different.
Love you, Zod.
Was it Ian Michael Clark?
Michael Clark Duncan?
No, he was Green Mile.
Wasn't Ian Michael Clark?
Who was the three-name guy that was always on I Love the 80s being sarcastic?
That's a question for yourself.
Oh, there she comes.
See, everything's fine.
Fuck.
Yeah.
You got the physics of a bat swing down perfectly.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that's...
That's not a safe dugout either.
Look at that swing.
Yeah.
The ball was definitely on a flat line.
Piss missile.
Absolute rocket.
Two-bench dugout.
This is a rich town.
A lot of people in the stands.
This is longer than I thought.
He's already called it.
It takes forever.
Now, why wasn't she already there?
That's his mom?
He knows.
Sledge.
Before you even got to see her tits.
No. his mom he knows sledge before sergeant sledge hits no yeah i remember they posted this on world star now if that fly if a pop-up at that angle hits
her in the face it's it's a mild nuisance at best. Correct? Yeah, you probably have a little confusion.
A little bump.
A little strawberry.
Yeah.
That would kill you.
He was so apologetic.
She's ice as much.
And then he ended up saving an entire school bus.
Is that correct?
Yeah, yeah.
But he died himself.
Is he alive currently?
Ian Michael Clark Duncan?
We don't know.
Michael Clark Duncan is past deceased.
Very dead.
He's not past deceased.
He is deceased.
They just have the same name.
Correct.
Ian Michael.
It's not Clark, is it?
No.
Smith?
No, you're thinking of Michael W. Smith.
Is it John David Booty?
I think you're thinking of John David Booty.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, yeah.
Oh, no.
He's younger than I thought.
Ian Michael Smith.
He's 36.
He's from Elmhurst.
Oh, he looks very alive.
Wait, so how old?
I thought he was older.
I thought that was an old-ass movie.
How old is he in that movie?
It is an old movie, isn't it?
Like 2002? Yeah, was he like seven? I thought it was like old-ass movie. How old is he in that movie? It is an old movie, isn't it? Like 2002?
Yeah, was he like seven?
I thought it was like 80s.
Oh.
90s, I don't know.
The guy from I Love the 90s is Michael Ian Black.
Thank you very much.
Brandon, you went viral over the weekend.
No, I didn't.
Yeah, Che, do you have that video?
You went viral?
What are you doing?
It was like you playing basketball.
Oh, no.
It was on like some clip account. Nice, no. It was on some clip account.
Nice, dude.
Did you drain something?
It was him shooting around.
He looked good.
But I saw the video, and I was like, holy shit.
That's our boy, huh?
Brandon Walker.
Yeah, Brandon Walker out there just balling, just hooping.
I haven't seen it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
There it is right here.
No.
This is that guy.
Oh, what is this yeah dude you got clipped i don't i don't know where you were helping but
look at him dainty as hell
the finish here that he did that a second time yeah
you joke but i love that court with those buildings in the background that looks so cool
yeah where is that that's got to be the philippines that's some sort of asian place i believe yeah
all right can we talk about rainbolt for a second just me and you don't even worry about
and i appreciate you texting me on the side about i'm gonna go piss you guys i text
yeah i texted kyle the other day because on tiktok i've seen rainbolt who is a geoguessr
expert no a geoguessr personality and he'll have a tiktok where he'll see an image of uh
some rainforesty leaves and a dirt road and he'll say that's sri lanka just immediately
and he'll get it right and my question to you was a how good is this guy and b is he faking some of
this i mean obviously i don't know how good can you be i would say he is not faking yeah he is incredibly talented skilled and he has like take my memory
multiply it by 10 so he has that ability and the game is like any other game it has it's repetitive
meta like hacks things you can remember that like only specific countries have
they like even like the way the quality of the image is like that has to be senegal if there's
like a rift in the sky he did a fencing one which it was a picket fence but it was blue on the
bottom and white on the top and he said oh that's um that's louse it wasn't when he does that he's
definitely editing out his best clips okay to like make those videos but it's still yeah it's still
crazy these geoguessr professionals can just look at it.
That's the thing.
He's not even a World Cup qualifier.
He's just the commentator.
Yeah, it's levels.
It's still fucking amazing
because he'll look at an image
and he'll say,
oh, that's Brazil.
Is that eastern Brazil?
No, that's western Brazil.
He'll go there and he'll be within 15 kilometers.
Red soil.
Also, there's only so many countries that have Google Maps coverage.
Okay, so the entire world is going to really play.
You know it's going to be eastern Brazil.
Yeah.
Maybe Argentina, maybe Peru.
Yeah.
But it's not going to be like a lot of the countries.
Chile's not in there.
Actually, it is.
Okay.
Yeah. Chile's a fascinating country. It's so long. It's so going to be like a lot of the countries. Chile is not in there. Actually, it is. Okay. Yeah.
Chile is a fascinating country.
It's so long.
It's so geographically diverse.
It's probably one of the most beautiful countries in the world, if not the.
I'd love to go.
The Patagonia region.
Yeah.
It's mountains.
It's valleys.
It's deserts.
They got miners.
I love a good miner.
Yeah.
They have the largest swimming pool in the world.
Really?
Yeah. Oh, is it that long one too? It's long. It's definitely miner. Yeah. They have the largest swimming pool in the world. Really? Yeah.
Oh, is it that long one too?
It's long.
It's definitely long.
Yeah.
We're talking about Chile, the country.
Yeah, I know nothing about that.
Is there any famous Chileans?
What's his name?
Pablo Pescal.
Pablo?
Is that his name?
Pedro.
Pedro.
Is he Chilean?
Oh, he's like the badass.
He's a badass actor.
He's the new actor on the...
He's about to take a famous role on, right?
He's about to do...
What's his famous role he's about to do?
They're about to do a new movie with him.
Is he doing Bond?
Are they doing Chilean?
No.
He's done some shit.
No, it's a fucking franchise that he's taking on.
Oh, Among Us.
The video game?
No, you're thinking of the the
last of us the last of us that shit's fire nobody's gonna help watch that what do you ask
watch that car it's a fucking movie i believe you i just don't know i just want to get it it's a
movie coming up that he is taking i don't know oh was that the viral picture of him like buying
everyone on the plane chick-fil-A? Did he? I think so.
Oh, that's my motherfucking dude.
Yeah, he's a dog.
Pedro Pascal.
I might go to Chile right now.
Do it.
I can go to Chile.
Get in there.
You going to go to Santiago or you going to go out in the Patagonia?
You're almost certainly going to go out in the Patagonia.
So estimate how many hours have you spent in the metaverse?
It just came out.
I just got it last night, but you know.
So you were up all night?
No, I sleep a while.
Okay.
So what's the difference in MetaQuest 2 and MetaQuest 3?
Those three.
I don't know shit about it.
I just Googled VR and this came up.
Yeah.
Because I knew I wanted one.
Well, where are you going to?
You got to get the paddles out.
Hold on, hold on.
It's okay.
And you just describe in detail what you're looking at because we obviously can't see it.
And I need to find out what movie Pedro Pascal is.
Oh, we got to do...
Yeah, do the high-end editor.
Do you want to find out, Brandon, or should I just say it?
I don't know who's talking to me right now.
That would be Sam.
Hey, Sam, how are you?
Doing all right.
Sam, what is it?
It's the Fantastic Four, Brandon.
Ooh.
That doesn't seem right.
Get fucking wrecked.
I don't think that's right.
It's the Fantastic Four.
I don't think that's right.
Well, it's in pre-production right now.
I don't think that's right.
Go ahead.
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spirits.com high noon sun's up yes high noon will be one of the sponsors of the mini golf tomorrow along with
yeah i can't wait actually i'm excited to golf yeah yeah having golfed in a while did you make
the cut to no idea i just assumed that i was not included i'm not i'm not joking right now but is
this the first time you've been thrown in something like that yeah oh yeah i didn't get invited to the
uh combine when's the last time you won first place in something, Brandon?
Oh, I thought you were going to ask me.
Me?
I won Mississippi Press Association Awards for sports writing probably about 10 years ago.
Was that like a first place thing?
Yeah, I won first place.
Actually, it was a small category.
I think I won first, second, and third.
But, yeah, and third. But, yeah.
Column writing for... Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I am the owner of at least five or six
Mississippi Press Association awards,
so I can officially tell you about to suck my fucking dick.
Because pretty big deal.
Hold on.
I'm at Pulpit Rock right now,
just kind of taking it in.
And that's in Chile?
This is in norway where i
left off oh okay trying to how do you uh travel to different places does it just disintegrate or
do you just do you get in like a mode of transportation or sam can you pull up pulpit
rock so we can see what kyle's saying please oh he's how's this well that's just kyle i might need
that's not pulpit rock that's kyle. I might need... That's not Pulpit Rock. That's Kyle's face.
We're looking like Google Earth.
All right, all right.
Fuck it, fuck it.
No, we're good.
No, I need Wi-Fi.
Oh.
I don't need to do this now.
Oh.
Plenty of time.
That bag's got a lot of attitude, too.
Yeah, this is from Chinatown.
KB, we should actually set up...
Oh, that looks amazing.
You were looking at that?
Yeah, except I was there, not really looking.
I was there.
So you were one of those people on the Wi-Fi?
There is no difference than just being there than what I was just doing.
I kind of want to get you on the Wi-Fi so we can...
That's all right.
That's pretty amazing, though.
You want to hop on my hotspot?
I didn't knowway had it like that
oh my come on dude i'm just not a big norway guy giant mountains is that where the uh the pool of
water is the steam that's iceland that's iceland my when i was uh when i was 13 and i went on the
uh y'all ever do the the day immersed in somebody's job where you leave school and you go to somebody's job
because you want to be a future?
It's usually your father.
Yeah, it wasn't.
My dad was in jail at the time.
But anyway.
You could have went.
We went to a radio station.
I wanted to be a radio DJ when I grew up, when I was 13.
And me and Marlena Foster went,
and her very Norwegian grandmother drove us.
And that's the extent of my norwegian experience
she was a very slow driver but she brought delicious treats wow marlena foster cute
uh the grandmother she was old the girl um i liked marlena uh she was she was good gal she's
i think she lives in lou now. Wow. Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you do that, Kyle?
Did you shadow someone in high school?
Shadow?
Yeah.
I shadowed a DJ one year, a DJ a second year.
No, that wasn't part of our curriculum.
And then I shadowed an archaeologist one year.
I shadowed a gym owner.
Really?
Yeah.
I just went and worked out.
You just went and perved.
Pretty much, yeah.
I was like the janitor at a gym for two weeks assign you a random career and you have to like uh pitch it
yeah to whoever reviews it and it was kind of like the last two weeks of senior year of high school
and it was like who could get the easiest job oh Oh, I did it in like the eighth grade. Eighth grade?
We did it every year.
And then I pitched – last year I pitched train engineer
because I just wanted to ride on the train around town.
Smart.
And they said no.
They wouldn't let me get on the train.
But if any train boys are out there, I'd love to ride on your train.
Train boys?
You want to get trained? We got any train boys? Anyone wants to train Brandon got any we got any train boys anyone wants to train brandon
i'm not a train guy
yeah i didn't know you're saying like you didn't know what to expect
going into bars so i didn't know i was uh weird you didn't no i didn't. I didn't know I was awkward until I got to Barstool.
I guess no one ever told me, and my friend group was equally weird.
Was it just the people that Barstool let you know,
or the fans of Barstool let you know?
Everything.
As soon as I got on camera, I was like, oh, holy shit.
This is more than just a quirk.
This is a problem.
Oh, by the way, the Barstool or the Yak tournament bracket is down to two,
and it's KB against KB.
Yeah, that's therapy.
I mean, I think we're just learning they like you the most.
What me blacked out.
It's you blacked out in L.A. against you coming out of the first wet wheel, I think.
Fuck.
Or when you were really soaked.
Juggernaut.
Which I think it's just really proven they like Kyle the most.
Yeah, because those are good moments.
We've had some damn good shows.
But I think of the times you've made me laugh, and those two moments, while good, are not top five of what you.
I've had moments where I've physically hurt laughing in in here what's one that you recall like vividly uh the
first time he ever cut into fuck fm i i don't know why that sticks out to me because it was funny as
fuck yeah you're right you're right you're right uh and also not this isn't gassing you up but
nick's toe surgery had me doubled over to where it hurt.
Oh, that looked nasty.
Yeah, but it was so fucking funny.
When that motherfucker pulled out that Grey Goose or that bottle of vodka.
Oh, yeah.
Nick's just jokes, but those aren't necessarily moments because he wasn't doing anything crazy.
Yeah.
I wonder what he's up to.
I think he'll be back today?
Tonight.
Oh, he's so cunty.
Oh, super cunty.
He's sending the selfies, wearing like necktie.
An ascot?
What is that, an ascot?
I think it's an ascot.
His description, he sent me a picture of his steak,
and then he described it in the most dickheadish way.
How thick it was. Yeah, how it was the system how it was copying and pasting wasn't it how was the culinary um
yeah jumping off point for all of cuisine or something where he was it was he said having
the one kilogram and then in quote superior unit of measurement in my opinion stake in here in tuscany wait a second
this motherfucker is copy and pasting had the 1kg parenthesis superior unit of measurement
imo in my opinion stake in here in tuscany now what's the next sentence many many say
that it's the protagonist of florentine culinary imagination. And I must say, they are correct!
Exclamation point.
That motherfucker!
Yeah.
He assaulted the anus group chat.
It was like seven messages in a row of just him with wine,
him with the fucking ascot.
Yeah, I didn't get all those.
You gotta just send him a picture of a bread.
Him with a glass of wine, he said,
American soil has peptides
and it's vile.
Ruins the true integrity
of the grape.
But I'm sure you guys knew that.
Well, he's right there.
Oh, shit.
Even Napa Valley
has peptides, you think?
I don't know.
No, I've never been
to Napa Valley.
Neither have I.
You might go soon.
Really? Oh, yeah. You could be've never been to the Napa Valley. Neither have I. You might go soon. Really?
Oh, yeah.
You could be there in five minutes if you wanted to.
Oh, my God.
We need like a Kyle's Guide to VR, like your top ten places to visit.
You could be the VR travel expert.
Yes.
Just put out travel books.
Lead group tours.
You could sell tickets.
I don't want to make it social. want to just be me i know what's a state you haven't been to that you want to go to all the
best ones washington oregon idaho montana idaho is my i want to go to idaho not washington oregon
that's too too left why idaho uh i don't big sky not too left. Not a lot of people? Everything Idaho looks...
Beautiful mountains.
Yeah.
I just feel like I could start a new life in Pocatello,
and y'all would never hear from me again.
You should go up to more north.
Moscow?
Or is that...
I don't know.
That is.
Coeur d'Alene.
You'd like Montana even more.
It's even prettier, man.
I would like Montana,
but I feel like every douchebag that liked Yellowstone
is trying to do Montana. Oh Oh yeah. And I don't like
Yellowstone like that. I watched that show for the first three episodes and I was like
these are all assholes. Why do y'all watch this? Yeah people swear by it.
Was that with Michael Keaton? No that's Kevin Costner.
I tried to watch it. The first episode was like three hours. Yeah it's like
legitimately a two hour first episode was like three hours. Yeah, it's like two months. Legitimately a two-hour first episode.
Yeah.
And there's no redeeming people.
They're all dickheads.
It seemed cool, though.
It's beautiful.
The show.
No, it seemed like a good show.
It's a beautiful show.
It's a beautiful show?
Yeah, they'll be riding the helicopter and looking down on the valleys.
You ever got Native Tail?
What?
Never mind.
Do you guys have that in Mississippi?
Natives?
Right.
Oh, yeah, big time, big time.
Right.
We have the – that's where our casinos are.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
So it's like Mississippi.
We have the Choctaws.
All our counties are Indian named, too.
We have the Choctaws.
Actually, there's our land our
200 acres down there and is cuts through uh native american territory and we all the time
take people back there and pick up arrowheads and and whatnot oh shit that that uh clip is
making the rounds my favorite clip the shoshone arrowheads oh really i'm in the round i wasn't
joking about the arrowheads we really do that yeah. Yeah. Oh, I thought. We're talking arrowheads. Yeah. Yeah.
The guy, the farmer, Dale, in that clip, you know, Napoleon Dynamite.
That wasn't scripted.
He was just talking.
He didn't know the cameras were rolling.
He was just going on about arrowheads? That's the shit he says, yeah.
I love a good arrowhead hunt.
That's what made me.
I like to go arrowhead hunting.
That's what made me shadow the archaeologist.
Yeah, you actually did that?
Yeah.
I always wonder what archaeologists actually do.
Well, in Mississippi, nothing.
What we did that day was they were tearing down a building in Columbus,
and we went, and after they tore it down,
we just dug under and see if we could find old bottles and whatnot.
It was very, very boring.
I didn't like it.
So I went back to radio disc jockey the next year.
Yeah, they're kind of like treasure hunters, right?
Essentially?
Essentially, yeah.
Well, some of them are and some of them are not.
But I think everything's found now.
I don't know what an archaeologist is going to do in 2024.
Everything good has been found.
I kind of believe that.
We still have to find Atlantis.
Do you believe in that?
All right.
There's no way.
There's something in Antarctica, right?
Some shit.
There's some crazy shit in Antarctica?
Fuck shit.
They're trying to hide shit in Antarctica?
I feel like Jerry now.
Yeah, did you see Jerry's text to Big Cat?
Yeah.
What did he say?
Get all your money out of banks
he he sat next to a software engineer who's at a very big company and uh they're about to shut us
down i don't know that'd be like a fun way to live though just just like have all your cash
on you constantly no like buying into conspiracies it just it makes life
more exciting less simple i don't actually yeah how do you how do you just ever have just a chill
day how do you ever relax knowing that every you think everything is conspiracy you don't like this
shit on i'll remember when uh when kate came out and she said that we have cancer and there were
people on twitter just nitpicking every grain of that video,
trying to find out how and why they're being lied to.
Why live like that?
I think they enjoy it.
It's like an adrenaline rush.
They don't want to know that life is pretty boring, simple, and you die.
Most of the explanations we get are probably true, I would assume.
Yeah, I go back and forth. Sometimes sometimes i'm like there's a big did we land on the moon yes or no
oh i see yes i put so much i don't think so i see what we're dealing with i don't think so
see the conspiracy guys they're just so easily manipulative so easy the cadence of the voice
telling them is like persuasive and like vaguely
academic they're like yeah i'm in i see one tiktok and i'm like what's going on with the pyramids
like there's some fuck shit going on with the pyramids but the moon landing when did that
happen 1969 69 we didn't have cell phones how the fuck did we get to the moon well we didn't fly on
engineering capacity to create a rocket and then we knew where we were going all of like the best like i guess look at architecture from
100 plus years ago it's so much better than it is now it's grand it's ornate it's it seems
incomprehensible and then you go down somebody built the pyramids thousands of years ago they
were putting so much time and effort into these projects back then but then you go
into the other rabbit hole where it's like was there a society that was wept away and that's
like the last bastion of it those architectural structures yeah i go down this rabbit hole on
tiktok we can't be talking these topics no no i'm sorry actually i think if you talk about three
more minutes you'll convince me i could i'll send Not only will you convince me we've never been to the moon,
I might believe there's no moon.
There probably isn't.
Who knows?
Yeah, we've got to stop talking smart.
I've got to DM.
Well, let's do Chase.
Oh, okay, yeah.
We have to do that third ad, too?
What's your DM?
Hey, hey, registered nurse here.
Why talk, Steve?
Whenever you guys talk about medical issues on the Yak,
you always sound like idiots.
I'm here to help for serious questions
because the shit you guys get wrong infuriates me.
Let me know if you ever need help
because you guys have a huge misunderstanding
of modern medicine.
Okay, nurse. Yeah. have a huge misunderstanding of modern medicine okay nurse yeah i'll just fuck you yeah fuck you fuck you he's probably due though nurses were on a hell of a run in 2020 2021 and now they're just
back down to being nurses no i'm sorry oh yeah that thought coming
live to you from connor mook they had a great run they had a sick run of like i think they had a
terrible run didn't they no i mean i think for the most part they were getting parades after work on
like tuesday yeah yeah i guess you're right now they they're just, never mind. Now they're just back down to being nurses. Back to being hoes is what I.
Nurses are hoes.
Connor Mook.
Hot takes only today.
Let's see.
Do we do the.
We got to do.
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assemble a team of golfers while staying under the salary cap then sit back as your players
score points uh chay you got any update on when the boys might be
here what'd you say sorry do you have any update on when the boys might be here uh no but they
said hold off on the the toots till uh uh the toots we're gonna do big hat is an idea and it's
it's like we can't do it today that's fine but there's nothing you can do to stop any of us from farting.
You heard it.
That little snap?
I thought really.
Yeah, yeah.
You see, you just described the sound that it did make.
It did make it.
I thought that was like a crack in my headphones. That was a prelim, yeah.
That was a demo run.
Was that?
I don't know.
I got nothing.
You weren't even, the mic wouldn't have picked it up.
It would have.
You think?
Yeah.
You were loaded up that good.
I was trying to load up.
I'll load up.
I'll get you.
No, don't.
We're going to hold off on the toots.
Okay.
Steven's in charge of the toots.
Here's the other for today.
What is your favorite racket-based sport and why?
Well.
Pickleball.
Pickleball is fun to play.
I did spend, this is sad, that I just,
I did spend a lot of the weekend playing topspin tennis.
Still a demo.
Yeah, that was good shit right there that was that
wasn't bad i thought i almost thought that was a fake sound that was a solid pretty good that was
a pretty good yeah that was yeah it was like a sound fart oh there it is yeah i'm talking about
smell you smell it yeah uh i had two bags of quest protein chips how was that that'll fucking
pretty good i I recommend them
Crush them up, sprinkle them on your entrees
Easy protein
TJ swears by those
Oh, TJ, he's doing everything right
Did y'all see him?
The picture of him
That's damn good, man
Connor, Connor
Oh, that's a stink, you. That's stink.
I guess the bad part here is we're farting on the mics.
On the mic, yeah.
Now it's just in my mouth.
I cuss into this mic.
Don't treat it right.
What's worse, a cuss or a fart?
No.
Wait, what did you say?
See what?
Oh.
You okay?
Yeah, I just.
I have no idea.
You step back. I have no idea what i said you're talking about tj
oh y'all see the picture tj tweeted out a picture of himself uh i think he said like 18 yaks and 16
mostly sports and 12 mark titus over the last few it was just him in a striped shirt and he
looks skinny as fuck yeah it's but is it incredible are we at the point where we can't even he's he's now
lost so much weight and he's so skinny that's just over we don't talk about it anymore he's just
that's who he is now he he is reaching that point he did the shit in eight months too he did it fast
he started in august he hasn't he doesn't he hasn't let up one if he had impregnated a girl at the same time
that child wouldn't be here yet
and yet he's a different person
that is a great way to look at it
yeah that's how I look at things
if I impregnated a woman
at the same time I did this thing
where would the child be in its development
that is a good time of reference
yeah it's
two trimesters that's how long I've been doing something in its development that is a good time for like time of reference yeah it's you know it's two
trimesters that's how long i've been doing something yeah yeah he hasn't let up once he
does his strict diet every day yeah um and it's super easy to fall into different you know
bad habits with this job yes yeah booze i mean dude, I can't imagine not boozing and then denying drunk food to myself.
That's the hardest thing in the world.
Yeah.
Are you off the liquor now or off the alcohol right now?
Right now I am, but I'm on the weed so heavy that I get weed hangovers.
Yeah, you wake up with brain fog?
Yeah.
How do you do the weed without wanting to eat everything? Oh, that's that's the problem okay i think that's why i was getting chubby yeah what was
that goop that you made you described it on anus but it was like uh coffee creamer and cake i had
a computer modem sized coffee cake that i crushed up in pieces put in a industrial sized mixing bowl
filled it with coffee creamer and ate it like big cereal yeah
yeah that's some high shit right there yeah this is nothing new though i remember my freshman year
of college i would get stoned and we never had food in our apartment but we'd always have like
white bread for like sandwiches and shit yeah and i would just get stoned and just like put down four slices of bread.
Yeah, that's it.
You wouldn't toast it or nothing?
Nothing.
Straight up.
You could like do cinnamon, cheese.
Dope.
That's some poor people.
It was poor as shit.
That's poor and fat.
Yep.
Which is a bad combination.
You could have lived in Mississippi.
I was, it was scum era for me.
Just putting back white bread.
I would, my poor food was, I would take wieners, hot dogs,
and I would cut them up, take a piece of Kraft cheese,
and melt it on top of it.
And that was my, that was some good eating.
I've been there before.
Anything with cheese and meat is going to hit.
Cheese and chips.
Oh, yeah.
Even like cheese and saltines.
Cheese and saltines is a terrific meal.
I actually never tried that.
The block cheese.
You're just having a cheese dog.
No, essentially, yeah,
but I was cutting them up into bite-sized pieces.
Oh.
I'd take four of them out.
I'd line the four up,
because you want to cut them evenly.
I'd line the four up.
I'd take a knife, and I'd go.'d go it was surgical i put them in a bowl and then i'd take and usually i'd take two
or three pieces of craft cheese i'd take two or three pieces craft cheese put on there and nuke
it for a minute yeah and you're talking about i could eat that right now for lunch that's good
that is good that just tastes great but you were microwaving the dogs? Oh, yeah. That's pure trash.
But see, here's the thing.
And I don't know if it's like this for you coming from West Virginia or you coming from Philly.
But down south, we had a certain company, Brian Hot Dogs, that their hot dogs are the only hot dogs I like.
So now I...
Yeah, that was sick.
Yeah.
We had a...
I forget the brand, but it was our version of Brian hot dogs.
And they were pink.
They were pink dogs.
Now I can't – like these hot dogs you get,
I can't eat those the same way that I used to eat those.
That Anthony Weiner swag.
What's he up to?
Nothing, right?
I don't know.
I feel like –
Was he the same position that billy is running for
uh just junior congressman is that right what was he's from new york
yeah this was santos's district that billy's in i think so
okay was wiener a democrat or republican and i don't know that i know i don't know i don't know
i don't i just remember he got disgraced. That's Bob
Turner. That has nothing to do with any of this.
Look at Anthony Weiner.
I think he was a Democrat.
Let's see. He was a two-time candidate
for mayor of New York City, finished second in the Democratic.
So he did New York
ninth. Because some of those
New York districts, I guess it's the same as everywhere,
but it doesn't matter who runs as long as they're a Democrat they're going to win and
and some of the other ones it doesn't matter who's who's the Republican they're going to win
you end up with a bunch of idiots yeah Anthony what was he using Snapchat you think I think
that's what he was doing that's crazy that's just so funny it's like where does some people just
have the right name he was a dick guy he was a people just have the right name. He was a dick guy?
He was a dick guy?
Yeah.
Wiener was a dick guy that disappeared.
It's like Chris Moneymaker winning the big poker tournament.
Yeah.
Or Usain Bolt running fast.
Wiener needs to rebrand.
How do you rebrand?
He needs to rebrand.
OnlyFans.
Tony Throbcock.
Like a mafia guy. Only fans. Tony Throbcock. Like a mafia guy.
Real aggressive.
Tony Throbcock.
Throbcock.
Yeah, I guess you could call that a dick.
He makes fun of other dudes' dicks.
Murders pussy on a boat.
He's cup checking his employees.
People talking about him in hushed tones.
Man, Tony Throbcock.
That's Tony Throbcock.
Have you cleared that
with Throbcock yet?
Throbcock says
you're Santa Claus.
You're Santa Claus.
You guys talk basketball on Mostly Sports?'m guessing we did we did we talked about it's just
uh it's kind of really takeaways well it wasn't it i don't want to say foregone conclusion but
after 264 team tournaments we ended up with an undefeated women's team south carolina winning
and then we ended up with yukon who was the best team all year and they won by what 15 so it was
i don't know it was a fun journey getting there,
but it wasn't much of a finale, you know?
Yeah.
I had more fun watching the women's.
Yeah, and that was –
The women's was fun.
The women's –
Kaitlyn Clark becoming this star and the absolute hullabaloo around her
and the way people react to her is fucking amazing right and whether
it's the the current wmba player's hating owner or if it's a it's just it's kind of like inner
barstool-esque it's very similar to that yeah and you gotta if you want to play devil's advocate
the these old like these women had nothing they spent their entire lives superstars with no glory yeah
no i could say i mean they definitely played it off i could see where that would be like like you
you played basketball she plays basketball you played a high level she plays a high level
nobody watched nobody everybody's watching her nobody gives you respect no one gives you residual
respect no one acknowledges your legacy yeah but they were still that was horrible horrible execution and um i i have no idea what i was about to say i just caitlin clark
thank you very much uh she's uh still got nothing i don't know what i was about as someone who
watches basketball every day i did not watch watch women's college basketball until early this week
when I saw that game against LSU.
So I watched that game and then the final game.
What she does is breathtaking.
I mean, she's going behind her back.
She's pulling up from 30 feet and making a good percentage of them.
She had some ugly-ass misses.
I'll give her that.
She had some incredible makes.
Yeah.
But I know the women are hating on her.
I mean, older men's basketball players will hate on the newer generation too.
That's what my boy Rosillo was saying.
Spot on.
Yeah.
He's right.
I mean –
It's a generational thing.
It's an athlete thing.
It's a – like every generation of basketball players looks at the generation
after them and says, what, they couldn't have played in my day.
Yeah. I mean, that's not just a woman thing.
They don't do it like us.
But it hasn't – I don't know that I've ever noticed an NBA player –
like I don't think Dame Willard has come out and said,
this college guy, he ain't going to last in our league.
He's going to be playing with grown-ass men.
And that's what's happening to her.
They're saying that.
Like she's going to struggle in the WNBA.
Diana Taurasi said, oh, it's great that you're beating,
that you're doing this in college, but you're playing against 18-year-olds
and you're looking great.
Next year you're going to be in the WNBA playing a bunch of grown-ass women.
Well, I mean.
Yeah, and people are going to be watching now because she's there, Diana.
But is there like, I know college to NBA has like a phenomenal skill disparity.
Is that the same with WNBA? Will she struggle? It can't be. college to NBA has a phenomenal skill disparity.
Is that the same with WNBA?
Will she struggle?
It can't be.
I would be lying to you if I knew.
All I'll say about that is this. There's as many college women's basketball programs as there are men's, right?
So you've got a lot of talent spread thin throughout the country.
WNBA has –
Even less WNBA teams.
WNBA has 12 teams,
meaning you've got to be,
however many that is,
12 times 12,
what, that's 144?
Yeah.
There's 144 spots.
In the NBA,
there's, what,
300, 400 spots?
So, you know,
you've got to be closer
to the best player in the world
to get in the WNBA
than you have to be
in men's basketball.
Yeah, so you have to be
top of the top.
But there's also a lot more men competing at at the highest level do they have a g league
buddy no that's called the nba they have a g spot but not a gm no yeah they don't have a
developmental league got it i think they're russia's developmental league yeah they go to
russia really oh yeah well i'll say wrestling is the opposite like we don't we acknowledge that this new generation is better than ever they're
evolving i think y'all might be the only sport that does that i think i don't trying to think
i don't think there's like maybe golfers do it i think what is the baseball consensus
more skilled now but less entertaining?
Baseball, I don't know.
Baseball will shit on like 100 years ago generations.
They'll say Babe Ruth, he wouldn't make the minor leagues now.
But they won't shit on like the generation before.
They don't do it that close. Because I think baseball has stayed pretty close to the same level.
I don't know.
Although every pitcher is now throwing 101.
Football players kind of respect their – now I'm confused.
Yeah, I don't know.
You see younger basketball players trash like Monverde versus Cadenham.
You ever see that?
Yeah.
Cadenham? Yeah. Who are you taking, Cooper Flagg or Cadenham you ever see that yeah Cadenham yeah who you taking
Cooper Flagg or Cadenham yeah Cooper Flagg Cooper Flagg all day I can't I can't wait to hate him
next year yeah I wish he does look hateable I have no reason to hate him now but he's gonna
put that Duke jersey on in about 15 games in he's gonna do something he's gonna flop or he's gonna
he's gonna do something what's his nickname or he's gonna he's gonna do something
what's his nickname like the main event is it yeah it goes hard you know you love he's from
maine so it's like yeah yeah yeah that's pretty good that's a wrestler ass name yeah yeah um
did you you saw the clip of us nerding out when the undertaker came out
no so yeah what was like
the top nerd out moment yeah it was that it was the the main event was um they just kind of did
an avenger style thing where cody was against the odds and roman had a couple people helping him and
then one by one john cena came out and then seth rollins came out and then the undertaker came out
and that was the culmination uh and when the Undertaker's gong hit, we were just absolutely surprised
and screaming, what the fuck?
Oh, my God, I can't believe this.
Three hours before, we were going to the suite,
and I had just gone in the suite, and Robbie Fox stayed in the hall a little bit,
and he walked in, and he said, oh, you know who I saw out there?
The Undertaker.
Robbie saw him?
Yeah, and The Undertaker. and he said oh you know who i saw out there the undertaker robbie saw him yeah and and and the
undertaker and then i and then he uh undertaker went to a suite about three suites down and
nodded to the crowd and everything and everybody saw him and still three hours later i was fucking
shocked that he was there even though i saw him um also jake and logan paul were in that same suite
it was a weird suite it was what is. What was the clientele for this?
Was it trashy, typical wrestling fan base or more upscale?
For the mania as a whole?
Yeah.
No, it's...
Any creatures?
No, it's everything.
It's the higher end.
I feel like they just cover every demographic.
They do.
Black, white, poor, rich, all of it.
Gangster.
You know, from all over the world, there's British people,
there's Australian people, there's, I mean, every walk of life.
Mexicans have to love it.
They love it.
Every walk of life is there.
72,000 people were there.
I bet you British people hate it.
They love it.
They love it, too?
British wrestling.
British wrestling. What are they? London had an event last love it, too? British wrestling. British wrestling.
What are they?
London had an event last year that had 80,000 people.
Never mind.
Damn.
I feel like they'd be too snobby for that.
No, they love it.
Internationally, it's the biggest US export.
Wow.
It's one of them, yeah.
Sporting-wise, it's the biggest.
There's nothing bigger.
It's huge in Africa, though?
It's big.
I think it's huge everywhere.
Huge.
Yeah, I met a ton of Australian guys this week.
And I just wanted to talk to them because they talk so smoothly and wonderfully.
And I loved it so much.
They're getting too cocky with their accent.
They've seen videos that white girls love it.
They know we like it.
Now they're doing it too hard.
When we were watching the mini golf clip, the guy was trying to veil it a little bit. Trying to add some English or some American oomph like it. Now they're doing it too hard. Like when we were watching the mini golf clip, the guy was trying to like veil it a little bit.
Yeah.
Trying to add some English or some American oomph to it.
But now it's ridiculous.
Now they're going too deep to the point we can't understand them anymore
or they just – or you know they're putting on.
They're putting on airs at that point.
They're putting on.
They're trying to be sexy.
They can weaponize that shit.
Yeah.
I mean, we met that dude Travis.
Yeah. Who – what's his name? Yeah, can weaponize that shit. Yeah. I mean, we met that dude, Travis. Yeah.
Who, what's his name?
Yeah, the guy from Perth.
Yeah.
Was his name Travis as well?
Yeah, it was.
It was Travis.
And he's just-
Probably still is.
Yeah, it's probably to this day, but he's just going through America.
All you need is an accent and you make friends.
Yeah.
And you can get by.
Tell the people, do you know when you're going to Perth yet?
We have a flight. We just haven't booked it no it's happening i'm gonna go yeah yeah it's
definitely happening i'll be there with cords and all probably won't come back probably never see
me again that'd be nice for you for not for us well for us too yeah it'll be you guys it'd be
best case scenario for all of us really if. If you just left one day and disappeared.
We never fucking saw you again.
Be surreal.
I'd really enjoy that.
Maybe one day Kyle sees you on the Oculus.
Yeah.
At a mountain.
I'm so excited for the future of VR.
Yeah.
We're just going to be, oh.
Once we get like a track pad so it feels like you're walking,
then once the physics are completely technologically advanced,
it's going to destroy society.
Yeah, it's going to be like an immersive, everything's going to be VR.
When I was in school, did y'all ever do this?
Did y'all ever do a future problem solving?
No.
We went to a convention at Ole Miss every year.
Oh, yeah, what?
It was called Future Problem Solving where we would have to be –
they would give us these scenarios and they had to write out essays
and come up with plans of action.
And then you had to do a skit and you had to do all these things,
these stupid things we did in school.
We did that in the fall and Model Security Council in the spring.
But we – Future Problem Solving, my year i remember it was it was the onset of vr and vr taking over
the world and and all this stuff what year was this was 1997 shit so this was 27 years ago and it
it kind of looks how they told us it was going to look as far as, you know, what VR does to people and stuff.
Yeah, I feel like people predict the future from back then.
They predicted it a lot.
Yeah.
Only thing that's missing is, like, flying cars.
Well.
They're not even close with that.
This is one of my big things.
Back in the, like, the 40s, 50s, 60s, they would ask people about the future and it would be flying cars and everything is wonderful.
But now all of our visions of the future are like apocalyptic.
Yeah.
We're just a bunch of assholes.
Yeah.
We don't look at the future and be like, oh, my God.
Yeah.
It's going to be so happy and flying cars and imagine the technology.
We're like, zombies are probably coming back.
There's no optimistic portrayal of the future in cinema.
No.
No. It's all like weal of the future in cinema. No. No.
It's all like we exchanged nukes.
Yeah.
Now there's like an underground society of people trying to take back certain parts.
When I was a kid, I used to dream of going back like 30 years and going to my parents' high school dance.
And like, I don't know, just maybe hitting on my mom or something.
And maybe she has a crush on me or something.
What?
And then after that, I go 30 years into the future.
Yeah.
And then I end up the guy that I see my dad as a grandfather
and I see myself as a dad and I hate that.
So I have to go back to the 50s again.
And unfuck your mom.
And unfuck the whole thing, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, yeah.
So you had fantasies where you'd go back in time
to do what?
And then I had a third fantasy
where I went back
to the old fucking West.
It was all weird.
You had a fantasy?
Yeah.
That seems normal.
The first fantasy
is what I'm stuck on.
Yeah.
Jay, you with me?
Yeah.
How fast did you have to go
in that car?
Oh, I usually went about,
I don't know,
between 85 and 90.
Oh, is this a plot of a popular movie that I didn't watch yet?
Back to the Future.
Yeah, I've never seen that shit.
Yeah.
And I regret all the-
No, the first one he goes back, he lives in 1985.
He goes back to 1955, and his mom has a crush on him and wants to fuck him.
Yeah.
Marty McFly.
Yeah, yeah.
And so he ends up having to
to to to help his dad woo his mom he has to help his dad fuck his mom it's i think that happens
hot tub time machine as well does it that does happen in hot tub time yeah i think our visions
of the future and past are all based on pussy. We can't get past that.
Yeah, no.
Why do we still have a snowman behind Mook?
It was fucking snowing two days ago.
Why'd you say that in a Philly accent?
Hey, what the fuck, dude?
What is the most valuable thing in the world?
Anybody?
Don't even have a semblance of a guess.
To Danny Conrad, it might be his puppet.
That's in the ad copy, boys.
Fuck yeah.
And what's the second most valuable thing?
Time.
Managing and worrying about body odor used to take up a lot of my time.
I was paranoid about smelling, especially around midday.
It was extremely time consuming.
But not anymore.
Since I switched to Mondo whole body deodorant, I've freed up so much time.
Jay, can I ask you a question?
Proceed.
Is it Mondo or Mando?
I said Mando.
I think Mando.
Mando.
I'll start over.
Run it back.
Run it back.
What's the second most valuable thing in the world?
Random walker's penis.
Time.
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Hell yeah.
That was fun. As soon as you can smell yourself, it's a wrap.
Wrap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brandon, you were in Future Problem Solvers.
Did you guys have peer mediators in middle school?
Do you guys know what that is?
We didn't have peer mediators.
We would sometimes go look at docs, but never peers.
You about to show it?
Oh, that was like an old gun.
That was airy.
Yeah, it was a baby gun.
Now you're talking right back into your fart.
You guys had a lot of crazy, useful shit in school.
I hated school school, but I was in the...
We called our gifted program Quest,
and we did all the stuff through that.
So that's what I...
What is your face?
Is it that bad?
Well, quit fucking farting.
It's kind of fun.
Do another one.
What was peers?
Peer mediators.
So, like, in fourth grade, I joined it, and essentially, you were like a narc.
Like, if, like, two people had a problem in your class, I would be a peer mediator, and I would try to get the two people to resolve their issue.
That sounds like a way to just make a two-person fight a three-person fight.
Yeah.
Yeah, except i was a giant
pussy so i'd be like guys stop being mean to each other like that type of deal and said it like that
and that yeah really timid voice nice guys guys stop it stop bullying him no i don't think mediators
would have gone a long way in my school yeah no it was um it was something i joined for a year
and then the third time i mediated the kid that bullied the
other kid started bullying me for being a mediator there you go a two-man fight to a three-man exactly
yeah yeah it was a bad bad choice on my end a mediator's got to get bullied though you have to
yeah fuck a middle man yeah did y'all have anything in school we had stations of the cross
we had to go do confession and tell the priest who we know on a personal level that we jacked off yesterday.
What?
Confession.
We had to do confession.
And we know who our school's priest is.
We know who the priest is.
He's at all the spaghetti dinners, at the steak fries.
He's our football coach.
You had to tell him that you jerked off the day prior?
We had to say of the like.
Because we were like, yo.
They were like, our religion teachers were like, what is it?
They had a word for masturbation.
Solitary sex.
They're like, solitary sex is a mortal sin.
Like, that's hell.
You got to confess that.
So you'd have to be like, Father, forgive me.
I came yesterday i
wouldn't word it like that how would you word it um i think i used the solitary sex solitary sex
didn't wait on me and i put the psp down i didn't i think i didn't jack off for like
two years like in the prime on the PSP you were logging on the PSP what were you loading up
what was that I stopped because I was so guilty yeah but what was your go-to prior to that like
what was your are you trying to get a PSP I mean jerking off on a PSP is PS BS nude. Yeah.
I was a narc.
I think I bring this up every once in a while.
How so?
I didn't know you went to a Catholic school.
It's 10 years.
Oh, I thought you went to a public school.
Well, you were a narc, though?
Yeah, the cops would drive me around.
I would try to buy beer underage.
Yeah, you've said that.
Yeah, get paid.
Oh, really?
Paid a lot, yeah.
How old were you?
16, 17.
Did you have a fake ID, or were you just going? I had to use my real learner's permit.
Che, you feel like you would have been a good narc.
Oh, yeah.
No, I've only been offered drugs a handful of times.
Felt awesome, but I turned them down.
What were you offered like cocaine
yeah that was the coolest
to get offered
cool just to be offered it
yeah and then I say no thanks
was it in college
post college
dude man I had a crazy night man
somebody said hey you want some cocaine
and that was
no I played Madden for three hours
that's pretty much it
are you
are you crazy as college memories
just different versions of you playing Madden on the PS2
no no no no
I did some fun stuff but yeah
I played a ton of Madden
wait do you ever get back into it do you play it still
Che? no I can't
if I want to play at a
level that i would be satisfactory it'd be 20 hours a week you can't just play recreationally
you have to be really fucking good to enjoy it yes can you like easy mode i play i play
franchises by myself and you know put it on not easiest mode but but I take it down a little bit. All pro. Yeah.
The computer is never too hard.
You always get the hang of it.
All Madden.
Never that hard, but they will occasionally have the fuck you game
that makes you break a control.
Well, that's five picks in the first half.
Rage quit.
Fumbles, yeah.
Yeah.
I think I've said this on the show.
When Madden used to come out, I would take two days off of work,
and I would just grind for 12 to 15 hours a day. And you get your ass kicked for the first day, day and a half on all Madden used to come out, I would take two days off of work, and I would just grind for 12 to 15 hours a day.
And you get your ass kicked for the first day, day and a half on all Madden,
and then you just start dominating.
Did you go to midnight releases?
Oh, yeah.
I did NCAA football midnight releases.
In Starkville, my four years there, I would go every –
that game came out in mid-July,
and it would be me and the Mississippi State football team
sitting in the parking lot waiting for it.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
And there was a movie theater across the street,
so I would go to like the 930 show.
It would let out 1115, 1130, and just go straight over.
Hell yeah.
That was a hell of a night, man.
That's a great night.
Yeah.
I remember seeing War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise
and then going and picking up NCAA whatever.
I think I midnight released ncaa
once i think it was like 2013 maybe i bet i midnight released it 10 years in a row
it was a lot are you going to be locked away when the new one comes out
yeah it's going to be interesting because you know big cat has the doug's thing i'm sure he'll
bring back and then he'll be the he'll kind of be the driving force. But I'm going to play that nonstop.
Yeah.
That's so exciting.
Fucking way.
And we think we have a release date.
Somebody leaked a release date, but it's not official yet.
There's been so much shit around that game.
Yeah.
That came out today.
July 19th is the one that's being thrown around,
and that does fit with what they used to do.
When was the last one?
2013.
It was NCAA 14, and it came out in 2013.
So it's been 11 years.
Oh, that's going to be huge.
Yeah, it's going to be amazing.
But what makes it different than Madden?
It's a better game.
It's a little bit more free-flowing.
You've got the option.
The plays are – the playbooks are different.
You obviously have the fight songs the pageantry the stadiums
you know there's 130 teams as opposed to just 32 it's just i don't know what's your in your
opinion the top non power five football stadium in college probably be uh well i guess they're
power five now i was gonna say byu for years um I think that one's way, way up there.
UCF's is good.
UCF, yeah.
The bounce house or whatever they call it.
You know, Boise would have to be.
The blue field.
That's cool, yeah.
I like the Sun Bowl, the UTEP.
And El Paso, yeah.
That just comes from your deep love for El Paso.
That was weird. Don't you have a deep love for El Paso. That was weird.
Don't you have a deep love for El Paso?
I pretended to for a couple weeks.
My neighbor just sold his house, and he was using it as his getaway lake house.
He's a doctor in El Paso, Texas.
And fascinating guy.
So he lives in El Paso?
He lives in El Paso and comes up here in the summers,
so he's not in El Paso during the summer
and spends his summers in the,
but now he sold it,
so somebody else is about to live by me.
I don't know who.
So you live in like a retreat area?
No, no, no, not even close.
I wonder why you decided that.
I just live on a lake.
I do live, I i mean there's a
lot of lakes up there um a lot of lakes up there so are there like airbnbs around you um my lake
no but the lakes there's a place called the chain of lakes which is a bunch of them yeah that are
just thrown together those do have them my lake's a small um 90 acre you know a bunch of houses around
it would you be pissed if there was just like a party airbnb next to you for the rest of your life
um i'd be fine you embrace it i'd be fine i i would love that i love a party near me i love
yeah i love activity as long as it's not right on top of me yeah um but really i
just kind of want to live i live i want to live on a 200 acre farm with where people can't see me
and i have animals i can pee in the and i can pee in the yard even in the front yard just dick out
whatever yeah but my most of my goals in life revolve around being able to pee outside
this is just such a nice it's such a superior form of peeing, you know?
Yeah.
And I don't think women get to, they don't know,
they don't understand.
It's the one thing we have now in 2024 as guys,
it's uniquely ours.
I've seen some women piss outside.
Oh, many in college.
But it takes everything they got.
Oh, yeah.
They can't just...
They can't just whip it.
Yeah.
It's a full squat.
Yeah.
And it's like unnatural to look at. it. Yeah. It's a full squat, and it's unnatural to look at.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's fucking gross.
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When I was in Philly, Tommy texted me yesterday.
I was in the airport.
He said, when you get home, can we watch Forrest Gump?
And I said, yeah, of course.
And I said, why?
And he said, I've just been hearing a lot about it lately.
Yes.
And I don't know what that means. I don't know. I've been hearing a lot. I just been hearing a lot about it lately. Yes. And I don't know what that means.
I don't know.
I've been hearing a lot.
I've been hearing a lot about it, and I want to watch it.
No, I got home, and we had to do some yard work yesterday,
so we're probably going to watch it tonight.
So there's a chance I'll have a Tommy Walker,
Forrest Gump review for everybody tomorrow.
I would love that.
That would be awesome, yeah.
Make it a big thing, like get thing like get popcorn get treats yeah candy
we do we do men's movie night at once a week scratch his back men's movie night yeah that's
awesome yeah but this is the first time he hasn't wanted to watch like the avengers or guardians of
the galaxy he wants to watch for the classic he's been hearing a lot about it he's been hearing a
lot about it on his forest forums that he frequents what else did he text you it was something funny uh he sent me a picture
of a lamprey a lamprey uh and he said an animal or a plant and out of uh it's a uh it's this is
what a lamprey looks like i said thanks and he sent that out of nowhere, apropos of nothing.
This is what a lamprey looks like.
That is interesting.
I did buy him an animal book before I left,
so I think he was trying to show me that he was reading his animal book.
Does he talk about his future career yet?
No, he does not.
That's good.
None of them do it, and I'm a little worried because, you know,
I don't know when you need to.
That should be an 18-plus decision. Yeah. None of them do it, and I'm a little worried because, you know, I don't know when you need to.
You shouldn't be.
That should be an 18-plus decision.
Yeah, a 22-plus decision.
I mean, I didn't get to where I needed to be as far as knowing what I'd be in my career until, like, 24.
Yeah, it's crazy to decide at 17 what your major is. Why are we looking at – so that's crazy. Some people know, some people don't.
To decide at 17 what your major is.
Why are we looking at...
So that's a lamprey.
It looks like a fleshlight.
It does, with teeth.
It was eating that fish from the side,
or it was just sucking things off that fish?
I mean, that thing has to give crazy top.
What the fuck?
That's, okay.
I don't think you'd want to.
That's a lot of teeth for a dick sucking.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
So are we going to wait for them or?
I don't, Stephen has given us no updates whatsoever.
It's literally on the group text that you guys are all on.
Yeah, we're waiting for the guys for.
Oh, we are waiting for them.
Oh, we're doing that today? No, no, no, no, no.
Are they coming?
Tell us what we're... Are they rolling in?
No, no, no, no, no. Proceed as
normal. We gotta do the wheel and...
Yeah, okay. Well, let's do the wheel.
We'll save Fart Eliminator for
whatever one's doing. The most basic things. He just can't...
They're droning
out. Fazoli's just walking a drone through the.
We have a mini golf course in front of us in the gym,
and we're going to drone the mini golf course.
That's a beautiful sight.
I don't think you can see any of the penis-shaped holes.
The cock and balls are to the left.
Yeah.
I guess there are people testing it out right now. Yep. Blutman and crew.
Oh, there's two cock and balls
right there.
Some of them say par two.
Some of them say par three.
One of them's a par four.
Whoa.
I think Jerry's playing this tonight.
He's doing it tonight, I think.
Yeah, I believe.
I don't know if they've
officially announced it, but...
No, I think it is.
Also tonight,
my dozen match against the Yak. If you hate you're gonna want to watch this because i look dumb as hell oh i can't wait enjoy
oh versus the oh yeah juggernaut battle yep
that's dry
all right so we should have the whole crew tomorrow, I guess.
Nick will be back, right, for the F?
Yeah, we'll have everyone tomorrow.
I don't know where Kate is.
Titus will be here tomorrow, and then I think he's going on vacation after that.
I don't know where Kate is.
I hope she's okay.
Yeah, I hope she's all right.
Yeah, but hopefully we'll have everybody here tomorrow.
We're scheduled to have everybody here tomorrow.
Yeah.
All right.
Cool.
That's the act.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. See you. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. Thanks for having me, Yak.
TJ's back tomorrow.
Come on, Arsenal!
Come on, Arsenal!
Come on, Arsenal!