The Yak - KB Would Dominate the Jazz Flute | The Yak 12-6-22

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

How is Brandon still alive?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. The show started. The show started already? Wait a minute. No fucking way. Is that the dozen defensive player of the week KB No Swag? Oh, my God. No way.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Dude, how did I get that? You were a defensive stalwart out there on the trivia course. A real tie law. Nick, back-to-back offensive player of the week, too. I feel like offensive. What does that even mean? I feel like. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:00:57 I feel like there should only be one award. Rookie. How many rookies are there? Too many Really? Yeah Too many In fact, I have to leave at 2 o'clock today
Starting point is 00:01:09 Because I have to do the dozen We're recording the dozen I'm against a rookie I'm against Ebo He scored 10 points last time Rookie of the week Yeah No, but like
Starting point is 00:01:16 You guys need a good defensive player on your team No, I have a good defensive player, right Yeah, big boy Hit a dab There he is Leave these boys in the dust. What did you do defensively? Did you train my guys to be defensive?
Starting point is 00:01:29 Huh? What are the notes? Stole geography, which was a turning point in a something win. And then your second stat's offensive. Scored 9.57 points in Frank Yates' Boston wins. And Boston appears. Oh, I did not. To be misspelled.
Starting point is 00:01:49 I think I got like two right. Does that say Boston with an I? Yeah. Okay. I'll take it. That's how defensive he is. No O whatsoever. Goddamn.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Goddamn. Where you been? I've been fucking everywhere, bro. DC? Looks like you were in Eden maybe. Were you at Eden? I was in Gethsemane for a little bit. Oh, been fucking everywhere, bro. D.C.? Looks like you were in Eden, maybe. Were you at Eden? I was in Gethsemane for a little bit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was one of those biblical gardens.
Starting point is 00:02:11 And soon, hopefully, Iran. I got my Iran sweatshirt on today. I'm doing all I can to get to Iran. I pitched this to you yesterday, and you said no, but I'm going to do it to you live to exert pressure. Yep. Invite me, Kyle, and Sass, Kate, Brandon, Big Cat. We'll go to Iran, Texas.
Starting point is 00:02:33 It has two A's in it. We'll dress as if it's actually Iran. And we'll do a video there as if it's Iran. Dude, I don't think that people want to cop out. Dude, I don't think that people want to. They're not going to let you off the hook again. Again? Do you have the hook again. Again? Do you have glasses on the whole show? No.
Starting point is 00:02:47 When did they come out? They look great. You need to rub them a little bit, though. The right lens is a little foggy. They're both foggy. These wheel guys have gone off the deep end. They will probably punish you worse than the Iranians would. Hypothetically.
Starting point is 00:03:07 People that want you to attempt to go to Iran right now, they want you to get on a plane now, they're wishing for your death. Yeah, yeah. They just want me out of here. That's all right. I don't think you would die. I think you would just be a political prisoner and never come back.
Starting point is 00:03:21 But what if I got Khashoggi'd? What if I got the old Jamal Khashoggi? The old, you know, what did they do, quarter him? They chopped him up. No, well, probably eventually, but no, they chopped him up. Yeah, that would be a tough outcome, but Griner didn't get...
Starting point is 00:03:38 She's in Russia, though. Yeah, but... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, but I'm applying for a visa. I'm talking to military guys. I'm talking to military guys. I'm going to talk to Julio this week, rather. And maybe Donnie. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I feel like maybe going with a couple people might make it funner if we get locked up in jail. That they might divide us to keep our stories from... I don't think I'm going to let you go, man. No, I got to go somewhere. Put the blame on me. No, I got to go somewhere. You have to go somewhere blame on me no i gotta go somewhere you have to go somewhere no i gotta go somewhere in iran i and unless uh unless like i apply for a visa and it gets denied or i don't know i'm talking to some military guys that might be able to help me out what if you fly into an adjacent country and then in the middle of the night you touch your toe i think that that
Starting point is 00:04:24 would be that would be would be an awesome video. Is it like that? Like that people aren't going at all? They just killed, I think, 15,000 of their own people. I think that was actually propaganda. Oh, really? Yeah, that was propaganda to try and make us hate them and go to war with them.
Starting point is 00:04:39 But they, really? And they are. They got gut? Yeah. Oh, fuck me. I mean, they aren't indiscriminately killing people in the streets that's true and yeah and a lot of them are women protesters but i i think that they're like willing to i think that there's even pushback on the hijab stuff like they might they might like uh back off that law about forcing women to wear hijabs they're just
Starting point is 00:05:01 killing women you should be fine i know but i'm face bald, so I look like a woman kind of. You know what I mean? Even if I grow out. Remember Goatee Week? I just didn't participate. Oh, yeah, we've got that January 16th. You're looking. I see whiskers now.
Starting point is 00:05:17 It's cheek whiskers. Cheek whiskers, neckbeards. They fade down south. Yeah. I don't know why. It's not a good look. But I am going to try to go. And dry lips, too.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Not a good look for your boy today. He's good. He's good. Virtue? I'm actually suspended from Twitter right now. I would be. No, I shouldn't. I only do it on the eyebrows.
Starting point is 00:05:39 How did you get suspended from Twitter? From saying I was going to kill someone. I'm a murder threat. Okay. And I meant it. I'm so justified. saying I was going to kill someone. I'm a murder threat. Okay. And I meant it. So, justified. Who were you going to kill? Just someone who was wheel shaming me.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Oh. Someone who told me you can't keep doing this. And Twitter made me do it. What else have you done? I don't know. I don't know. Not enough. But I'm trying to go to Iran.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Iran. I'm trying to think. What have you done? What happened?'m trying to go to iran iran i'm trying to what have you done uh or what happened you didn't go to labor you didn't go to fucking the dentist in la no i did go to the dentist but i went when i came back but i did get my teeth cleaned um you were cast you had the nails i didn't go or i did it but and i also genuine very genuinely did the in and out the entire time i know people don't believe it. I was there with you, brother.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Yeah, TJ stood tall too. But I didn't go to Le Bernardin yet. My boy Maresh is going tomorrow. Confessional, but you did that. Want to go with him? How's he going? He's going at 10.30 p.m. That was the only reservation he could get, and he got it months ago. Really? Yeah. Did he go through the website or open table? You're going to have to hit up Maresh. Why is he going? He's going at 10.30 p.m. That was the only reservation he could get, and he got it like months ago. Really?
Starting point is 00:06:45 Yeah. Did he go through the website or open table? We're going to have to hit up Maresh. Why is he going? He just likes fine dining? IBM. Yeah, fuck. I need to link with Maresh more.
Starting point is 00:06:58 What did you motherfuckers do while I was gone? Did you have a fun week last week? Uh, hmm. What did we do? What happened on the wheel last week? I was sick. Just a week. I just kept it to the weekend.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I have no idea what I did yesterday or Saturday or the week before. I have, KB, I know what you're talking about. Like brain jelly? Something is this. I'm in a deep haze. Yeah. I don't know what we did. I'm not like mental health.
Starting point is 00:07:21 You guys got to get on the ginkgo. What? No. I've been five pumps of ginkgo in my water every morning on an empty stomach. The blood has been blowing through my vein. It doesn't sound good. Oh, fuck. The blood's been blowing out of my ass for days.
Starting point is 00:07:36 The ginkgo ain't working. What do you mean, pumps? Is it like a liquid ginkgo root that you spray into your five pumps into your water on an empty stomach every morning. It should increase blood flow in the brain, but I don't think it is. Damn. Bring some in. My ginkgo? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:53 No. Fuck. Now you mooch ginkgo. I sent you home sick yesterday. I didn't think you would be here today. Yeah. I got real... I was changing colors after the show.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah. You mean you sent her home? I sent her home. I said, Kate, right after the show, she was white as a sheet. My lips were blue. She was freezing and it was very comfortable in here. Everybody's been getting sick. Big Cat's been sick. I went and did something, came back, and she
Starting point is 00:08:19 was as red as any human being I've ever seen. She was clearly sick. Yeah. But you made it. I'm here. You feel better? Breathing on everybody. I feel nauseous, but I don't feel.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I'm glad you can. I'm about to stomp out of here. No, no, I don't. I have felt nauseous for like a year now. I just always feel sick, so I don't know. That's cool. IBS? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:41 It's not. It's not. I'm not proofing everyone. I don't. Just nauseous? Yeah, just like this It's not. It's not. I'm not profiting everyone. I don't. Just nauseous? Yeah, just like this constant state of nausea. Damn. I can't explain it, but it's been.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Dude, yeah. It's nonstop every day. I just wake up pissed. Yeah. Frustrated. And I went sober, too. I'm about to go off the deepest of ends if this keeps up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Wait, what do you mean? You're waking up pissed? Did you talk about this? I'm waking up, like, sick every morning, and I'm stomping to the gym going extra hard, feeling even sicker. Maybe you got, like, asbestos or some kind of bad... Wet poison?
Starting point is 00:09:16 Yeah, some kind of West Virginia-type, Blackwater-type of shit. Might have a lime. Hi. Hello. Hey. You. Hello. Hey. You. What's up?
Starting point is 00:09:27 There's a lot of Blackman's looking Christ-like today. What do you mean Christ-like? He's got like the, I don't know, he just looks
Starting point is 00:09:32 Sharp. He's really got it together. He looks like he smells good today. That ain't true. Shut up. Christ-like? Chill with that.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Chill with that. Is there any bald Jesuses? Uh, you think Jesus was balding? Wow, no. He might have been. What did he dye at, 33? Yeah. He had a luscious head of hair. I don't know. I would think they would
Starting point is 00:09:54 be, that the hairlines were worse back then. Why? Because they're more... I feel like that's something that would improve with evolution. Did they do haircuts back then? I think it's going the other way for evolution. Yeah, Kate. Definitely wore barbers, right?
Starting point is 00:10:07 Starting when? What about the Caesar cut? Did Samson get his hair cut by Delilah? Yeah, but that was out of... But in Caesar's time, like Julius Caesar time, were they cutting hair? Doesn't he have a haircut name after? I know we call it that now, but they didn't have Caesar. Why would they call it that, Kate?
Starting point is 00:10:23 I don't know. Why would they call it a Caesar Kate? I don't know. Why would they call it a Caesar salad? It has nothing to do with Julius Caesar. It was made by another man named Caesar in Mexico. Damn, you're dead right. I went to the original Caesar salad place when I walked into Mexico. Why?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Why? It was the first. Did you get one? That salad originated in Mexico? Yeah. Was it good? Was it like a Mexican salad? The guy made it right at my table. Huh.
Starting point is 00:10:45 They probably had like a knife or something to cut hair. I feel like every country probably has a restaurant that claims to have created any dish. And I don't go to Botswana, so I wouldn't know if there's a Botswana restaurant that claims to have made the first. Oh, those are scissors. Those are shears. I mean, that seems believable, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:04 What? The Mexico thing? Why are you so against it? I'm not against it. I'm justars. I mean, that seems believable, though. Yeah, what, the Mexico thing? Why are you so against it? I'm not against it. I'm just saying. You think he popped in. I feel like there could also be a restaurant in France that says, we made the Caesar salad. Who would fact check it?
Starting point is 00:11:13 And who would know? I think it's consensus, though. I think that it's historically attributed to this. There's a long-form story about it. About, like, the actual, there's, like, a story about it. I guess anyone can make up a story. Just to cover everybody's bases. TJ sent an important text.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Sorry to interrupt to the yak chat. Oh, okay. All right. This is going to answer the question that I have. Yes. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:11:36 TJ. Yes. I'm the man. Thanks Nick. Oh, I mean, it would have gotten you in trouble. Not me.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Why? If you said it, I wasn't going to say anything. I was protecting. I haven't said anything all day. Good man. Sorry to interrupt, Kate. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:11:57 I'm just reading this message that he sent. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Rumors are swirling already. I'm reading this one line that says, acknowledge it slash make a big deal. That was a typo. It's right above, fellas,
Starting point is 00:12:10 I'm out today. I'll be in the rest of the week. That's from Sass. Wait, Sass is out? Same text that you just sent. Finally. Gay bird. Gay bird was a funny one.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Remember gay bird? a funny one remember gay bird gay bird gay bird we got we got gay lord maybe no we had gay bird yeah it's redundant that was that was a shot from the oldie yeah yeah it really was i got gay bird let's get you gay gay bird was awesome dude gay bird was awesome, dude. Gay bird was hilarious. That was. What did it even mean? I don't know. I don't know why it tickled me so. Because you hadn't heard it.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Heard it in a while, yeah. I need to see the etymology chart of gay bird. I think we could split up birds into gay or very straight. Yeah, birds are either very gay or very straight. I'll name a very straight bird. Peregrine falcon douchebag. Okay, all right. 200 miles per hour and a nosedive.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Or a gay bird flamingo. Yes. All right. It's pink. What's a penguin? What's a penguin? Gay as hell. Penguins are gay, but ostriches are straight.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Yes. What about emu? Is an emu also straight? Emu ain't. Emu ain't. Okay, I like that. Penny macaw. Robins gay. How do we feel about pigeons?
Starting point is 00:13:26 Pigeons are straight. Pigeons are like a dirty bachelor. They're dirty. They eat garbage. They don't give a fuck. Dub is gay. Pigeons were domesticated and they're always fucked up because they rely on humans
Starting point is 00:13:42 still. We don't do shit for them. The carrier pigeon is extinct. So there really are no pigeons outside of cities, right? You don't see pigeons in the woods. Because they fully rely on us, like crumbs. They rely on our trash to live.
Starting point is 00:13:56 That's a real truth about them? They just shit their eggs right on the ground, I think. I don't know how they survive. I don't know. They can't make nests. Crows might be the straightest thing. Period? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:10 What about like a buzzard slash vulture? Straight. Straight, yeah. But blue jay, you know, cardinal, gay. Albatross, gay. It would seem like a blue jay would be straight. Which ones are getting into like zebra guts? Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Vultures? Vulture, right? Yeah, vultures. Turkey? Turkeys. All right, what's a chicken? Chicken? I think chicken's gay.
Starting point is 00:14:34 That's chicken gay. What's another name for a chicken? There's show chickens, and there's eating chickens. Did you guys see the gay horse wedding? What? Two gay horses got married together off TikTok. No way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:53 People are up in arms. People are unhappy about these gay stallions. Or they're just like, I mean, I guess, I don't know. I guess they got forced to get married. Damn. I guess they're not consenting horses. They forced the gay marriage upon them. Yeah, there was a whole ceremony and everything.
Starting point is 00:15:09 But, I mean, how did they know? Unless they just caught these horses sucking each other off in the stable. Which maybe they did. You see this shit room? Aw. Oh, so maybe they were nibbling at each other. Is that like butchering? Most horses who have not been exposed to David Bowie's discography Oh, so maybe they were nibbling at each other. Is that like butchering?
Starting point is 00:15:28 Most horses who have not been exposed to David Bowie's discography like to run and play with each other, but my horse and his horse boyfriend like to make out for hours and move as one unit. We call this a horse structure. When my horse and his horse boyfriend meet, they form what is known as an unmovable horse structure, which has never been infiltrated until tonight. Are these multiple people having gay horses?
Starting point is 00:15:45 Horse people are... This isn't even the wedding I was talking about. Horses of TikTok. Gay horse is just like playing basketball granny style. Tommy Walker videos though. Yes. Hilarious. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:16:03 I haven't seen it yet. It's hilarious. Gotta watch it. That's awesome. What's the seen it yet. It's hilarious. Gotta watch it. That's awesome. What's the feedback like? I'm trying to stay away from it. Yeah. Don't want to know.
Starting point is 00:16:11 You've been stressed as hell. This has been a stressor on me, yes. Your hair gets better when you get stressed. I got my hair cut yesterday. I went to my girl Erica, and she hooked me up. And the beard's also at the perfect length right now. So everything, this might be as good as I'm capable of looking. I want you to go burly with the beard's also at the perfect length right now so everything this might be as good as i'm capable of i want you to go burly with the beard early yeah i can't go burly why
Starting point is 00:16:30 not a lot of burl to me my lives i think that you need a maroon custom suit yeah i have custom full full full maroon all the way custom ron's never paid for a custom suit. He just writes game shows and then expenses the suits. Jeff D. Lowe method. Okay, I can go full custom. Where do I get a custom suit? Enzo Custom. I need a custom suit. Why did you just...
Starting point is 00:16:53 I want an olive one. Okay. My favorite color to wear. Really? It looks the best on you. It probably looks good in olive. Oh, no, you're wrong. You're dead wrong about that.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Olive green? You're fucking dead wrong about that. I want to get custom suits. Should I put it on my wheel? Custom suit, yeah. We did that video last year, but I had to go to Men's Warehouse and get a custom suit,
Starting point is 00:17:14 and I felt like a boss in that thing. I would love a custom suit. We just need color assignments. Oh, okay. And then we do an episode where we all wear our fancy suits. We can do suit week. Suit week?
Starting point is 00:17:26 How do we do suit week? Color wheel? I would love to walk around New York City in a suit. No matter what color it is, if you have a custom suit, it looks good. Yeah. It can be an ugly color, and because it's custom, it looks good. Chartreuse? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:42 What even color is chartreuse? I don't know. Is that some sort of pinkish?ish sounds like a good color for a suit oh you're all right are those glasses like making you sick they might be like those are not just clear frames are they it's making your eyes bigger they work a little bit i can read now but like, are those just not your... They're not mine, no. Chartreuse?
Starting point is 00:18:08 That's right. I didn't see that coming. It says Chartreuse. Wow, I would not... I actually would not like a suit in that color. God damn. It looks good in that living room, actually. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Whoa. I don't think it does look good in that living room. I think it looks great. No, it doesn't. All right, don't sit on the fucking couch then You can fucking stand Wait is yellow Gatorade chartreuse? Yeah it might be
Starting point is 00:18:31 Chartreuse Gatorade? Yeah it definitely is They kind of nailed it with that one That's the best So that's like a pickle right there Up up up up up up up up Up up up up up up Looks like a pickle
Starting point is 00:18:44 Chartreuse front door. Sage is beautiful. You ever see those color matchers, the painters who get the exact shade with the red and blue? It's a skill. Or like landscape matchers who will just like set up their camera and their easel on a landscape and paint it perfectly into it and blend it. Yeah, that's cool. That's good.
Starting point is 00:19:05 It's a skill. That's a very good skill. Is he about to match this color? Wow. Wow. Did they put the green under the... I would have started with purple. Not green.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Ew. I don't like that. What's that? So, yeah, that's just the color. What's up? A bad thing? Bad thing? Good thing? Sure as hell ain't a good thing.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Yeah, that didn't sound great. One day I want him to resolve something in here. I do think he needs our help. Sitting on the resolve couch. He just doesn't trust us to give him his help. I don't think this person's very good at it. No, he's not. They just keep fucking up.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Yeah, they do. They should just do it in as few strokes as possible. If you have infinite strokes, anyone could do this shit. Yep. Come on. He had it. Or she.
Starting point is 00:20:04 What do we think? He or she? do we think he or she look at the thumbs gotta be he alright cool alright alright
Starting point is 00:20:15 what are you gonna do with that what are you gonna do with that skill run those numbies up getting the creator fund maybe yeah
Starting point is 00:20:21 that's it though that's the extent of it that video had 35 million views wow holy fuck that's what he that's the extent of it that video had 35 million views wow holy fuck that's what he's got yeah fair enough what does that uh lead to in the creator fund what is that what is 30 like how much money does that equate to i don't know we gotta ask chicken fry go to a live show for that though like he comes and like just like puts paint on your shirt and it's just that you can't tell that would be awesome I could see for makeup
Starting point is 00:20:49 like if that guy could come and find me the perfect concealer that he makes like exactly my skin tone which is red just be red paint TikTok pays between 2 and 4 cents for every 1000 views someone do the math for me.
Starting point is 00:21:06 So that's two. It's 20 for, man, 10,000. 200 for 100,000. 2,000 for a million. 2,000 pennies equals. Is that $700 or $7,000? Fuck that. How much is 2,000?
Starting point is 00:21:24 Between 7 and 14. 2,000? Fuck that. How much is $2,000? Between $7,000 and $4,000. $2,000 is $20? Man, I don't know. That's correct. $20 for a million? So we've got $32 million. I feel like that's not enough. That sucks.
Starting point is 00:21:39 But they're making money. They're getting rich. It's funny that they can make more off that than someone who sells a painting. Like, if you actually tried your best to make your best painting, just a swatch of color can make more money on TikTok. If you know what I mean. Brandon, everything okay? My concern was the Tommy video.
Starting point is 00:22:00 When it was presented to me, I had one edit, one thing I wanted to get taken out of there. And I got concerned just now that it didn't get taken out of there, but it did. So I had to go watch it to make sure that it was out. Did he say gay bird? He did not say gay bird, although he will from now on because I'm going to go home and teach it to him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:18 They sun all the kids at school. If they're not nice to you, call them a gay bird. They work in New Jersey public schools, right? Definitely. It transcends time and space. Gay lord, gay bird, gay wad. Maybe we did gay wad. Oh, gay wad, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Gay wad. That makes sense, though. How? Just gay com. Yeah, it's gay com. Oh, I was thinking of like a spitball or something wadded up. Spitballs were hilarious. Yeah, it's gay cum. Oh, I was thinking of like a spitball or something wadded up. Spitballs were hilarious.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Yeah, they were. Remember that Sinbad movie, First Kid? Anyone see that? And he had a spitball and a paper towel roll. Sinbad's not doing too good. No, I just saw that. Oh, what's wrong with Sinbad? He had a stroke.
Starting point is 00:23:00 I love Sinbad. And his family just put out like a GoFundMe. He's like trying to recover and learn to walk again. Frozen Bellbottoms is a top five stand-up hour. Really? Yeah. 1992, Sinbad. Does it hold up?
Starting point is 00:23:13 I think it holds up well. I feel like almost no stand-up hours hold up. People have either built on the jokes or they got cancelled for being able to say the shit that they used to say well he you know he didn't really talk about anything
Starting point is 00:23:27 controversial so he's not cancelable really so his hold up pretty good there are others that did Harlan holds up
Starting point is 00:23:33 Hedberg holds up yeah but like Eddie Murphy or I'm shocked that Murphy like Raw and Delirious
Starting point is 00:23:39 are just on Netflix unedited Trace O'Neal's fine that's fine Trace is good. Yeah. I like when they make a mockery of the people who paid to see them.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Disdain for fans. That is a nice wheelhouse to get into. Just shitting on your fans and they just have their mouths wide open eating it. I don't know if I'd want to live... I don't know. Like these piece to live. I don't know. Like these piece of shit yak fans
Starting point is 00:24:08 that want you to go to Iran? No, please don't say that. What were you telling me about that earlier? That they're gay birds. That would be a good name for yak fans. Less controversial than Caleb named them. Look at this motherfucker. Stretting in.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Cocky bastard. Cocky bastard. Just look at him. Glennie's dick walking around, dude. Glennie's waiting for an interview with a girl who he believes has 38 double G's. Yes.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Natural? I would have said H, triple H. Triple H? You're familiar with that. I am. Glennie just has a crazy rotation, dude. We were at this gambling event, and he's like... I heard about this. What do you mean a rotation?
Starting point is 00:25:01 He's like Monty. He's like three-card shuffling girls. Yeah, that's true. One up in this section, one over in this section, one over in this section, send him one home, bringing another one out. I heard he had four in, sent them home, brought four more replacements in.
Starting point is 00:25:18 It was more smaller groups than that. What are we talking about sent home? That's what I was shocked at. He said I had to send one of them home. Where? Ph He said I had to send one of them home. Where? Philly. He had to send one of them home. That's an adult woman. You could go anywhere else.
Starting point is 00:25:34 He had to send her home, but it was just one. But it was almost, instead of two groups of four, I think it was closer to four groups of two. As a girl, what do you have to do to get sent home by Glennie Balls? What makes him make that call? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:25:49 He is the king, though. He is literally the king. Every few Fridays, he's like, Kate, because we sit next to each other, he's like, I've got a predicament.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Can you help me sort this one out? It's shuffling. It's shuffling. You know how, like, in the 80s and 90s... You're friend-zoned
Starting point is 00:26:03 by Glennie. I know. Yeah, dude. I'm like, oh, okay, Glennie. Well, someday he'll see the light. You know how flat butts were the thing? You know how magazines were saying flat butts were the thing in the 80s and 90s?
Starting point is 00:26:20 Yeah. And before Sir Mix-a-Lot, and then the Kardashians came around, and Jennifer Lopez in between. I think that Glennie Balls is in the process of changing conventional male attractiveness standards right now. And I think that it's for the best.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Yeah. So what's our... I believe you. What are we doing going forward? What's a handsome man going forward? Stout. Sure. A little bit shortly. History is a circle. you. What are we doing going forward? What's a handsome man going forward? Stout? Short? A little bit shortly?
Starting point is 00:26:48 History is a circle. Venus of Willendorf, but for a man, the penis of Willendorf. Cliché as it sounds. Confidence and a sense of humor and a podcast really gets it done. You still DMing Venus?
Starting point is 00:27:07 Nah, she's moved on to Ansel Elgort. Oh, no. Elgort? Yeah, she's moved on to Elgort. It was always going to happen like that. I know. I know. That's the pipeline.
Starting point is 00:27:18 She might be trying to make you jealous. Yeah. We need Elgort. Maybe he stinks and she'll see the light. She'll say, you know who was great? He got cancelled. Fled to Japan. Making movies in Japan.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Elgort? Why did he get cancelled? Me Too movement, I believe. Really? I think so. That's fucking bullshit. Why is she interested in that? I thought better of her.
Starting point is 00:27:42 I know, she's liking all Elgort's posts. Hey, guys. What's up? Sorry I'm so fucking late. Don't be sorry. Fucking bism, fucking wit. Why is his hair wet? You just got here.
Starting point is 00:27:53 It's raining outside. Che. You just got here. That's your first acknowledgement of him, honestly. Hey, Roan. What's up, brother? Good to see you. I haven't seen you in a while.
Starting point is 00:28:00 I know. I'll ease in. I'm sorry I'm late. I hate being late. Oh, no. We had just hit a lull, so. I'll ease in. I'm sorry. I'm late. I hate being late. No, no. We had just hit a lull, so you're actually very welcome. Damn, that's disappointing. We were in a lull?
Starting point is 00:28:10 We just hit a lull in that conversation. One momentary lull of a change of subject. It's like when you switch positions in yoga. What's up, guys? Sorry I was out yesterday. I was sick. It's been going around. Pretty sure I had the norovirus.
Starting point is 00:28:26 What's that? It's the thing that you get it's like basically like food point is you get it for like a day and a half and you just puke and shit oh i think i had that yeah were you sick for like a day i was sick friday night to and during saturday woke up sunday feeling a little bit better yeah like i was i started p i went into the studio on sund Sunday night at like 9 o'clock, started feeling like a little flush. And I was like, oh, this is weird. Finished PMT, walked out, puked my guts out in the bathroom. Wasn't nauseous puking though.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah. I just had to puke. My stomach hurt, puked, went home, was sick all day yesterday, woke up. I don't feel like 100%, but I don't feel sick. Yeah, I'm just a bit of a sleepyhead. Yeah, I'm like fatigued. Wait, has everybody gotten that? I haven't.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I think I'm on the edge of it. I think Big Ev had it. You'll know right away. Like, it just hits you like a wave, and you're like, uh-oh. And then you just, yesterday I puked and shit, and then, yeah, today I feel fine. Kind of sounds nice.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Lost seven pounds. Yeah, I lost five. Seven pounds. Yeah. Not bad, right? Vomiting and shitting? Well, I didn't eat. I also didn't eat a meal for 48 hours. I go puffed bomb pops. Ooh. A delight.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Bomb pops? Yeah. The red, white and blue ones? Oh, yeah. I ate cereal and then I puked right away and I guess you're not supposed to eat any dairy. Dairy is tough. It's stupid. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Oh. Man. Dude, what's up? Where have you been? Been around the world, dude. I feel like I was in Gethsemane. I was in D.C. I was in Philly and Iran soon.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Is that one guy who replied to you, I want to fucking kill him? Wait, well, I missed it. Is this the one you got suspended for? I told him I'm going to kill him. Yeah, I'm suspended. I thought you were going to get suspended. No, I meant what I said.
Starting point is 00:30:16 In that moment, I would have literally killed that person if they were in front of me. I think I've seen, you know what? I think that guy complains about everything on this show because I had him muted. Oh, yeah? So when I saw you, I just saw your tweet saying, I will literally murder you. No hyperbole.
Starting point is 00:30:32 I couldn't have been more clear. Then I looked up, and it said muted account. And I unmuted it, and the guy was like, you guys can't keep getting away with this. Like, you didn't do, what did he get mad about? I don't know, but shaking your fist at the moon. It's like, Pazas didn't smoke 80 cigarettes, and you guys didn't do this. Yeah, but I am my brother's keeper.
Starting point is 00:30:54 There are some promises that we have just ignored. But that's also part of the show. That's any friend group. The show is that we make, sometimes we come through with the promises, sometimes we don't. And sometimes the formulation of the promise is way better than doing the promise.
Starting point is 00:31:10 People wouldn't have been able to watch his ass just smoking all the time. I'm trying to. I knew you would. I'm applying for a visa. I'm talking to military guys right now. I'm talking to Julio and potentially Donnie about getting over there.
Starting point is 00:31:28 I'm figuring out alternate ways or all the possible ways. I don't think the situation in Iran is as bad as the most fucked up people will try and tell you. Smart what you're doing. Like, I don't think it's... Yeah, right. Like, I think the Iranian government's making some... They're making steps in the right direction. Smart decisions, yeah. And I think that they're kind of hearing the protesters.
Starting point is 00:31:46 And I think that a lot of what the negative propaganda that you're seeing about how they're treating the protesters is not true. It's propaganda. Yeah. And it's very transparent. Right.
Starting point is 00:31:55 And I know the people of Iran are beautiful people. And I trust that the government is also a very welcoming government. I know they are, in fact, because I support them, dude. They're my guys. Oh, you have a?
Starting point is 00:32:08 Iranian sweatshirt. They sucked for you. They won that one game. Oh, yeah, they did. No, no, they scored two goals. Oh, yeah, yeah. They lost 6-2, and I thought I was in it for a minute. Yeah, and it was so funny because you added a weird chance
Starting point is 00:32:23 where Brazil had just lost yesterday. Or like 1-1-0. Score four goals as fast as you possibly could. Yeah, and then just stop scoring. Yeah, there it is. Sad. Not really sad. I'm interested in going to Iran.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I'm interested in what they have culturally. I'm interested in, like, I'm trepidatious about what the propagandists tell me, but I want to go. I can't believe Brandon's still alive. Yeah. Alive, per se. I mean, I'm not going to win. I wasn't talking about that. I was changing the subject.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Your point, yeah. You have Chick-fil-A every single day Right Oh, I don't I don't have it on weekends Popeyes, a lot of Popeyes On Sundays Yeah, you do
Starting point is 00:33:10 So what else is going on? Steven, have we talked about your podcast? No, we haven't, let's talk about it You literally just walked in right before you got here So I went to bed at the end of the Oh, I'm not going to say anything I fucking hate you so much That's what you do
Starting point is 00:33:22 You go to bed when you're sleeping When you're bed You bet on the same experience Wait, what? For real You did that. That's what you do. You go to bed when you're sleeping. When you're bed... You bet on the same experience. Wait, what? For real? You did that backwards. That is what you do. That is what you do.
Starting point is 00:33:30 You go to bed when you're sleeping. I'm sleeping. I better go to bed. Well, no. You go to bed and then you root for your bets in your sleep. But did you root for the... That's not what... Did you say...
Starting point is 00:33:40 What's up, Shefty? Get a picture with me? How'd you say it? My guy is friends with Shefty. And I was like, I would never ask this dude to let me have a picture with somebody. But Shefter was there. Stop. You definitely.
Starting point is 00:33:57 I feel like all your pictures with celebrities and people are. I would never ask this person to help me get a picture. I feel like I don't have that many. I guess Shefty's number one. Yeah, number one. Look at the points. Zoom in on the points. He started the point before I did.
Starting point is 00:34:13 It's like Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. Look at that. Wow, they're really pointing. Can we superimpose that on the Sistine Chapel? There's a bend to Shefty's finger. What a point. There is a bend. What I was going to say, Stephen, is I went to bed because I was sick at the end of the third quarter.
Starting point is 00:34:29 And I woke up and I was mad because I wanted to shit on you and say you spent all this money to go down there and watch your fucking terrible team suck ass. And then it turns out that you won the game. Yeah. So I had a – But I did have Saints plus three and a half, so I don't care. I had a major personal predicament at the end of the game. Oh, no. Let's hear it.
Starting point is 00:34:53 So when I went down – You were whether to fuck Kelly in Vegas or not? Jesus. That wasn't a predicament at all. Oh, hell yeah. Oh. No, absolutely not. Does she live in Tampa?
Starting point is 00:35:06 She lives in Sarasota. I love Kelly. I only thought of that because Jerry once saw a picture of you and Kelly and was like, Steven, whoa, he's playing. That's Kelly in Vegas. She's like one of our coworkers. She's very good at her job. He's like, oh, shit, my bad.
Starting point is 00:35:21 It was supposed to be all of money shots going because Megan likes the Saints and Mincy does. And Mincy's been pushing to go to a Saints-Bucks game for three years now, two years. And he bailed because they suck. Oh, coward. Yeah. Coward. I lit him up a little bit in the blog. Can we, TJ, can you pull up that light up?
Starting point is 00:35:41 Keep going with the story. I want to see what lit it up means. Oh. So personal predicament at the end of the game the bucks ravens game i went to end of uh october i got credentialed and you can do media stuff and it lets you go down on the field for the final five minutes they had changed a rule after that game and so my pass said like um field level five minutes but i got down there like, field level five minutes. But I got down there with, like, just over five minutes left, and they said that they had changed this, and then I had to wait in a tunnel.
Starting point is 00:36:14 So five minutes left, they're down two scores. They're down 13 points, and I'm like, all right, well, I'll just wait here for the end of the game. And I'm watching it through a window in, like, a club bar, and it's delayed. So I can see out this little sliver, and I'm all right whatever and they score a touchdown it's like all right well i haven't seen them do that score two touchdowns in a very long time so i'm not super optimistic then then they punt the ball and it's like oh shit like i should probably try and go back to my seats and i was like oh well i don't want to actually jinx it so i'm just going to stay here
Starting point is 00:36:42 and the bucks are coming towards my end zone, so I could see it. So you're just watching out through a tunnel. I can see 20% of the field, if that. Oh, my God. Yes. Jay, you can't see any of it. No, so, I mean, I can see the quarterback center exchange, and then, yeah, I'm basically hearing the fans roar,
Starting point is 00:37:02 and the TV that I'm seeing is in a bar, and it's on like a two-second delay. So I'm hearing, you know, the crowd roar and all this stuff. And, yeah, it was pretty brutal. But we won. So I was very excited about that. But I didn't get to be in the crowd because I thought I was going to be, like, literally on the field in that end zone when they were driving, which would have been incredible. Oh, that would have been incredible. And you got to catch a pass from Tom Brady.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Yeah. You like that? That was crazy. And you got to catch a pass from Tom Brady. Yeah. You like that? That was crazy. He threw it right to you? Not right to me, but I made my way into the field. So you were smart enough to drop the phone quick enough? Smart enough to drop the phone quick enough. This is crazy, dude.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Oh, whoa. Holy shit. And now, wait, can you pause it again? Where was that ball? Let's find the ball. It was headed. That is the ball. Oh, yeah. No, no, that is that ball? Let's find the ball. It was headed. That is the ball. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:47 No, no, that is the ball, but not even. Okay, no, no. And then. Oh, and. Oh, you picked it back up and caught it. That's insane, dude. That was sick. Many people got duped by that.
Starting point is 00:38:01 No one got duped by that. No, no, nope. The guy that gave him the Yak coin was like, dude, was that really Brady throwing the ball or was it Ryan Griffin? I have a question about the Yak coin. Did we just make new ones and now we have to kiss all those people too?
Starting point is 00:38:13 A thousand more. A thousand more. Yeah, I brought this up at the time. I think that they used that as a, I don't think we ever agreed to kiss. No, I don't think so either. Sales, they made me write a love letter that was sent out to our mailing list.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Oh, fuck. And they had to say it was due to the world population hitting 8 billion. We need to raise the coin. It needs to be the same percentage always of people that can kiss. You really kissed the fuck out of him. Sales people made you say that? I think if you have one of the secondary coins, you get a kiss on the cheek. The other one, you get a kiss on the lips.
Starting point is 00:38:46 I guess. There she is. I see. That's one of – I'd imagine she's going to talk about Lenny. Lenny's here. All right, Brendan. All right, so Stephen. Steven is. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-unit. He's saying that those are hot. Pardon?
Starting point is 00:39:07 Pardon. So, Steven, it was an incredible night. Incredible night. Did you see at the end on the telecast, it's me and Brady in the hall, and I'm giving a fist bump. And it's just you two. It's basically just you two in the hall. There's you two. Oh, wow. That's pretty sick. It's basically just you two in the hall. There's you two. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:39:27 That's pretty sick. It's other people, Steve. I love you, Steve. This is like, I got to get Jerry to. I don't see a fist. You said a fist bump? No, no, no. Fist pump like the.
Starting point is 00:39:38 You could have done that with anybody coming in, though. But, I mean, it's a special moment. Did he see you or what? Yeah, he just sent you. That's pretty cool he was looking right towards me I don't know if he specifically saw me and then I got Giovanni Bernard as he came off the field
Starting point is 00:39:52 which was great I love it Jerry showed me a video once of the Dolphins-Steelers game it was like Pickett and Tomlin talking on the sideline he's like you see that little yellow dot? that's me it was like all the way across the field me and Jerry are cut from the sideline. He's like, you see that little yellow dot? That's me.
Starting point is 00:40:07 It was like all the way across the field. Me and Jerry are cut from the same cloth in that way. And that Giovanni Bernard walking off, did you say it? Of course. Yeah, TJ, if you want to put that with volume, I hit him with it. And he acknowledged. He knows who I am. Okay. Giovanni Bernard.
Starting point is 00:40:22 He looks excited about it, too. All right, let's see you light up Mincy. I want to hear this. I want to see this. So this is you lighting him up. Okay. Defeated Ben Mincy's kind of favorite NFL team when they're good. Mincy passed on my offer to join me for a Bucks versus Saints game on Monday Night Football
Starting point is 00:40:44 because he's at the SEC Championship game two days earlier and also citing the team was terrible despite them only being two games out of the division lead. Man, you lit him up. That was scathing. I lit him up. That's vicious. As far as fandom, that's...
Starting point is 00:40:57 Maybe Mintz didn't want to miss work. That's vicious. Yeah, that's true. Mintzy. Brandon, Mintz gave you the business, dude. Holy shit, did he? When? On Twitter when you responded, well, all right then.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Oh, yeah. He ripped out your jugular. He came at my neck. Right at you. Yeah, I said, like, he went to the LSU, the SEC championship game, and the LSU was losing. I said, you okay, Mintz? And he came at me hard.
Starting point is 00:41:25 He said. Actually, yeah, I am okay because I'm getting so much love from people. Yeah, wait, pull it up. It was quite something. Told me that he's moving down south and I'm going to be stuck in Jersey freezing my ass off. He really went after you. He hates you.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Let's call a spade a spade. We got to get this in now because he's leaving for his Christmas holiday on December 14th. The hole? Yes. Damn. Can we do one of these ad reads yet? No. Let me do one of them.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Do the Ridge Wallet. I'd love to. Ridge Wallet. Mm-mm-mm. Ridge Wallet. Ridge Wallet is an ultra-slim minimalist wallet. It holds up to 12 cards plus KB room for cash. There's over 30 colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium.
Starting point is 00:42:12 It's made with RFID blocking technology that protects you from digital pickpockets. They also have a new key case to help you organize your keys. It secures anywhere from two to six keys. Holy shit, I don't even have six keys. It also organizes your keys in a compact silhouette and fold-out for easy access. There are six colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium in that as well. So you can match your keys and your wallet. And the best offer is at Ridge.com slash Yak,
Starting point is 00:42:44 because you can save up to 40% through December 22nd. Ridge Wallet. Get yours today. You haven't been here a while. Ridge Wallet's the best. And I can't stop talking about that. No, you really can't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:58 No, you cannot. I love Ridge Wallet. And originally they were going to go until December 15th when Mincy was leaving, and they agreed to extend it for an entire week. So it's just mitzvah after mitzvah from the good friends over at Ridge Wallet. Granted, he'll still be gone when the extension's over. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Of course, of course. But it's a little bit extra for you. Christmas gift maybe? Hanukkah? Hanukkah? Okay, thank you. Steven, by the way, did you know that we're doing the Stinky Cloud after our Christmas party? Is that tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:43:29 No, I think we're going to do it next. No, no, not. Christmas special. The Christmas special. I think next Wednesday is when we should try to tape it if everyone's. I'm not here. I have to go to Patrick Beverly. Patrick to Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Wait, did we say we're going to do it on Friday? Yeah, we're going to do it Friday. Can you do Friday? I can do it on Friday. Yeah, we're going to do a one-hour yak on Friday and then do the Christmas special. Afterwards. Yeah. I can be here on Friday.
Starting point is 00:43:49 This Friday? No, next Friday. The eggnog Christmas special. Next Friday. Next Friday. Yeah, everyone put that in their calendar. Remind everyone. We're going to do a Christmas special.
Starting point is 00:43:58 We're going to drink eggnog, and then we're going to do a stinky cloud at the end. I know what I'm bringing for my stinky cloud. Okay. It doesn't stink, it's just mean. Ooh. What is it? I have one of those pet eggs that I shave the dead skin off my feet with, and I'm just going to dump the powder in there.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Oh! I have been through far worse with a pet egg. Oh! You're going to be inhaling my dead foot skin. So, pet egg was like an as-seen-on-TV product that you like. It's basically a cheese grater for the bottom of your foot. And so, I got one, and I used it. And what it is, is it's an actual cheese grater, and then it comes apart, and you're supposed to empty it out.
Starting point is 00:44:43 But it's curved, like an supposed to empty it out but it's curved like an egg so i did it there's a bunch of dead foot skin cells and instead of dumping it over i blew it out but due to the curved nature of it all of it went back in my face so he has been through worse with the exactly what you described just his own no he's been through worse one of the biggest L's I've ever taken. But mine's my foot. You had your own foot. But he's not going to have to inhale it specifically right this face.
Starting point is 00:45:09 But it's not going to be literally in my eyes and nose. You didn't think that was going to happen. Didn't think it was going to happen. You didn't think Steven had a worse pet egg story. I got a pivot. I should have known. Maybe you could orchestrate it getting blown in his face. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Yeah. I guess, yeah. Yeah. Like a fan poured into a fan. Home his face. Yeah. Yeah. I guess, yeah. Yeah. A fan poured into a fan. Home Alone style. Yeah. The feathers.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Arn Feather. That would be a good wheel sliver. Steven, what's the biggest L you've taken at Barstool? At Barstool? I wrote a really mean blog about Caleb that I felt bad about instantly. You still think about it all the time. I do. What did you say?
Starting point is 00:45:50 I don't know. I just took myself too seriously. What? I feel like I don't do that anymore. What did you say? It was a good teaching moment. I don't remember. It was just ripped Mitch. Who was teaching you?
Starting point is 00:46:04 What's that? Who was teaching you? Maybe, yeah. I don't hold any I was just really mad. Who was teaching you? What's that? Who was teaching you? Maybe, yeah. I don't hold any grudges against Caleb. He said, who was teaching you? Oh. Life, man. Yeah, that's deep.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Yeah. Best teacher? Fuck yes. Best teacher. Hey, let's see this Mincy tweet. We also have O's the Mentalist on Thursday. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's Thursday. Is that how you say his
Starting point is 00:46:26 name? Yeah. O's? OZ? Yeah. He deleted it? Oh. Who muted Mincy? Oh, fuck. CJ! Oh, fuck. CJ! Did you? I did. Why? He had to unclick him. It was a muted account.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Oh, you have Mincy muted? Oh, fuck. Oh, no. This was a muted account. Oh, you have Mutey muted? Oh, no. This was just you okay. Lucky mine isn't okay. He just, he just, he just. Hell yeah, I'm okay. After the amount of love I have felt this weekend, been unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Can't wait to reclaim my throne in the south while you freeze your ass off in Jersey this winter. I didn't know what to say to that. He just, he just lives in his own world. Yeah. Uh-huh. He's the king of it. That's goals to be honest. He's got to understand, I didn't take his crown away.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Dave did. Oh, no. I had nothing to do with that. I'm just very interested to see what comes out of Barstool, New Orleans. A lot of... I heard he's going to do red beans and rice reviews. I love that guy. Yeah. to New Orleans. Um, a lot of, hmm. I heard he's gonna do red beans and rice reviews.
Starting point is 00:47:28 I love that guy. Yeah. Snow like John. Oh, yeah. Evan Person, awesome guy. Met him, yeah. Evan? He's funny.
Starting point is 00:47:32 He's a fucking great dude. I heard he can freestyle too. He like does it like consistently. Handsome as all hell. Oh, yeah. He's a grinder.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Yeah. He's good. He's a man. Yeah, he's consistent as fuck. Or he just makes, he makes good content. This is why he's consistent as fuck or just makes he makes good content this is why i'm eating mince uh oh man i had that moment with frank on sunday tj because didn't you have that with uh frank said something about like Rutgers and you're like, I don't fucking give a fuck. Yeah, because he doesn't he doesn't care.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Right. Frank said like, hey, big cat, I bet on the Bears. And I was like, don't give a fuck. Yeah. I had to suspend Frank. Yeah. From what? From a full stream, Sunday stream. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Yeah. Had to do it. He loves those. He loves them. But I had to do it We're gonna I'm hearing his appeal Later on this week
Starting point is 00:48:28 Free Frank We'll see The appeal will be interesting Who's representing him I think himself Maybe you Rone I'd be happy to Okay
Starting point is 00:48:37 He and I have a budding friendship No budding Is it still budding Oh my god It's been a while Has it gone all the way there We're on the We're on a plateau in sight.
Starting point is 00:48:47 I do have a soft heart, so I probably will accept the appeal, but I'd like to see it at least first. Of course. Make him go through the process. We'll make our case. I'll sit down with my client. Okay. If it's anything like the Yak appeals,
Starting point is 00:49:01 he'll just keep showing up for four or five weeks and forget about it. True. He does love hanging with the fellas watching ball. I know. The guy's guy. He is. I know. It's the definition of a dude's dude.
Starting point is 00:49:13 He was like a rescue dog who was in the kennel for so many years just watching games alone. Yeah. And he went to a big farm. Frank might be in heaven. Oh, my God. Absolutely. What if we're just all pawns in his heaven? Oh, there's no chance I'm a big farm. Yeah. Frank might be in heaven. Oh my God. Absolutely. What if we're just all pawns in his heaven? Oh, there's no chance I'm a main character
Starting point is 00:49:29 in this world. In his heaven? Just an ancillary character in Frank's heaven. I think I don't exist outside. I don't think I exist. I only exist when Frank's around. What do you mean? Oh, like the Quigs?
Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. Like a Toy Story situation. You got to spin the wheel. Oh, yeah. I also have two show updates.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Oh, okay. Do you want the one that's an unboxing or the one that's an announcement? Let's do both. Yeah. Okay. Chey. Oh, wait. Chey's on the phone. What's Gaz an announcement? Let's do both. Yeah. Okay. Che. What's Gaz doing here? Oh, tomorrow's firing day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Wait, what? That's why he's got his laptop. Company meeting? Yeah. Okay. Someone's getting fired. Or publicly shamed. Yeah. One or the other. Should we spin the wheel on tomorrow, TJ? Can we spin the wheel tomorrow and just see who would be fired if there was firing day? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:29 On time and upstairs? The entire building. Try not to dox his address. There's a guy that painted the Owen thing. Oh. Wow. Someone sent me Stella painted. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Wow, that's really good. You need to hold that up more. That's really, really good. Look at this. Oh, wow. That's really good. You need to hold that up more. That's really, really good. Oh, my God. Look at this one. This one's even better. Holy. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:50:51 My face is even better than my dog. Shout out Nerdy Gala. Holy shit, that's good. That is really good. What is this? I think that's just a Oregon Trail poster that he edited. I like that one. That guy's awesome.
Starting point is 00:51:06 There's not a lot behind it. Maybe. There's not a lot behind this. It could just... Oh, Jesus. No. Totally. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:19 You're fucked up, man. Really captured the essence of Stella. I like that guy. These are awesome. up, man. Really captured the essence of Stella. I like that guy. Imagine the painting would probably increase in value if it were punched through and then sewn back together. That would look sick. This is actually huge because my son
Starting point is 00:51:36 every Friday is showing Tell It at school and he refuses to bring anything in. And then finally one week I was like, why don't you just bring this picture of Stella? He brought it in and now that's all he wants to bring in. So now I have a different one. That's good. Every week is show and tell.
Starting point is 00:51:51 How many things do these kids have? Dude, the kids have a lot of shit but my son just refuses. He's like, no, I'm not bringing any toys. He's not a materialist. People are going to try to steal it. They probably will. Yeah, so he brings in Stella.
Starting point is 00:52:04 So now he has a new Stella to bring in. Huge. All right. Maybe I'll have him bring in this too. This is my clown cigarette dad. Have him bring that. My clown cigarette dad. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Shout out Crazy Gallo. Nerdy Gallo on Twitter. Nerdy Gallo on Twitter. Follow him. Chris Gallo. Love it Gallo. Nerdy Gallo. Nerdy Gallo. On Twitter. Nerdy Gallo on Twitter. Follow him. Chris Gallo. Love it. Thank you, man. Gallo or Callo?
Starting point is 00:52:30 G-A-L-L-O. G-A-L-L-O. Joey. So what's the other one? The other one is Friday is the last day to get merch guaranteed in time for Christmas shipping. I believe our calendars go on sale tomorrow. Oh, fuck yes.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Do we have one? I think we'll get one tomorrow if there isn't one still in the office. I think what we should do is there's 500 of them. I think we should reveal a month every 50 that are sold. Oh, I like that. And we'll show the graphic. A telethon? They're unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:53:01 For the photos we took in front of a green screen, our guy Garrett turned them into actual art. Yeah. Nice. Nick showed it to me, and I love the thought of it being in someone's cubicle and other people not having context for what the fuck it is. I love the thought of it just being very bizarre. Having to explain anything about this show
Starting point is 00:53:19 to people who don't actively consume it has got to be the most confusing thing. Yeah. I laughed out loud on every single page. My grandma asked when I went home for Thanksgiving if I was still a painter. Never was, but I think that's just what my parents told her
Starting point is 00:53:32 to explain my job. I had to play along. MS Painter. Yeah. Shit, I can't wait to see that. Where'd you see it, Keith? There was a sample. There was a sample, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:44 It's got to be somewhere unless somebody took it home. Was it me? So, yeah, we should sell those out Friday so that they come in time for Christmas. Yes. Or Thursday because Ron and I will be out Friday. Thursday is us. Us. Is he going to do the whole episode?
Starting point is 00:54:00 I don't know how much material he has. He's going to do 20 minutes and then he can sit in for a little bit and talk afterwards. Okay. But he doesn't have to much material he has. He's going to do 20 minutes, and then he can sit in for a little bit and talk afterwards. But it's not the whole show. Perfect. Tomorrow, then. Fuck. I know how he does it.
Starting point is 00:54:15 You do? Yeah. God damn it. Can you tell me? No. Why not? How do you know? I figured it out.
Starting point is 00:54:23 I want to know. I didn't figure it out. Someone pointed me towards how to say it. I want to know. I didn't figure it out. Someone pointed me towards how to say it. I want to know. I tried looking for a while. Will you tell me? No. You won't?
Starting point is 00:54:31 I don't want to know. Not until after he comes in. Are you going to sit there unimpressed? No. I'm going to play along. He's got several different tricks. Several? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I don't know how he does all of them, then. But I know how he does what he did to us. Ron, I want to know. We all kind of... I don't want... It will ruin it. I want to know. No, I'm not telling you.
Starting point is 00:54:54 This is the last thing I have that gives me childlike wonder. Does it involve technology? No. But I think that... That makes me happy. And it is... Now I'm impressed. I agree.
Starting point is 00:55:04 It's more impressive than if he was just magic. Yeah, that's still impressive. He was still equally impressive. No, that's not impressive. You were just born with that. Yeah. That's why I'm not impressed with good singers. Born with it?
Starting point is 00:55:16 Yeah. Yeah. Play an instrument. Thanks. That's talent. Adele? Or especially singers who don't play any instrument on stage. Lucky.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Let's go pay $200 to see this lucky person. Who are some fuck you? Dion didn't do shit. Dion. Sheeran does the whole shebang. Yeah, he's like, He does it all himself. Playing a washboard.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Oh, that's impressive. Booblade, does he play any piano or is he just crooning? He's a washboard. Oh, that's impressive. Boo Blade, does he play any piano, or is he just crooning? He's a piano guy, I think. He's got to play something. Groban, he plays the keys. He tickles them. Oh. Tickles the heartstrings.
Starting point is 00:55:58 He's on a commercial all the time, and every time I watch TV, and I love it. Groban's a funny-ass dude. I want him to TV and I love it. Groban's a funny ass dude. I want him to work at Barstool. You know what's also? Groban and Kenny G is very funny on Twitter too. Oh yeah. He's extremely self-aware and he's very funny. Kenny G is a great
Starting point is 00:56:18 follow. He can circle breathe. I'm jealous of that. What is that? He can exhale out of his mouth as he inhales through his nose at the same time. What? That's impossible. How do you know it? Oh, it's like a technique for that musician. Oh, so he can just keep playing the clarinet? Play forever.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Huh. Is it the clarinet? No. Kenny G is the saxophone. I thought he played the clarinet, too. I'd imagine he does them all. He plays a lot of things, but he's famous for the sax, right? No, clarinet.
Starting point is 00:56:42 He's a clarinet originally. I'm pretty sure he's the clarinet. No, clarinet, not the saxophone. Yeah, wait. Look up Kenny G. I want to say oboe. It's black. That's a clarinet.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Clarinet. I think it's an oboe. I think it's an oboe. You think it's an oboe? That's a saxophone. Oh, he's known for the clarinet. His American saxophone is. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:56:59 That's what he's known for. Give me all the pictures. Kenny G's Christmas album is one of the best. It's like a go-to for me. Is that a saxophone or is that a clarinet? It's a saxophone. That's a sax. A type of sax?
Starting point is 00:57:11 That's a weird sax. Alto sax, maybe. Remember that Kenny G Valentine's? Oh, that's why I got confused. Funny or Die video? I thought that looks like a clarinet. It looks like a clarinet. It's a glockenspiel.
Starting point is 00:57:21 I'm willing to overrule. He's a clarinetist. He says under his name. Saxophonist. He says American saxophone. I was looking at that weird ass littlerule. He's a clarinetist. He says under his name. Saxophonist. He says American saxophone. I was looking at that weird ass little sax. That's a fake ass saxophone. That's a fake ass sax.
Starting point is 00:57:30 It's not a fake sax. It's like Steve. No, sax has got to go like this. Look at that hair. That's a clarinet. But look, you're only looking at one picture. There's a picture right there. Search Kenny G in clarinet.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Search Kenny G clarinet. That came up quick. That came up real quick. When you search Kenny G. Clarin. Search Kenny G clarinet. Wow. That came up quick. Yeah. That came up real fast. When you search Kenny G. Clarinet's all over the place. Oh, it's so good.
Starting point is 00:57:53 It is a soprano saxophone. No, I'm just reading the first sentence. On first appearances, it looks like it. But it says it looks like it. Oh, it looks like, right. It looks like a clarinet. It tricked me. I thought he was clarinet. So not at all. What is the clarinet. It tricked me. I thought he was clarinet.
Starting point is 00:58:06 So not at all. What is the clarinet? I don't know what it is. Is anyone in a band play a clarinet? It's a clarinet. I'm very confused at what a clarinet is. You have to get the reed. You got to wet it with your tongue.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Keep the reed wet. Show me. Squidward played a clarinet. Show me a clarinet. TJ, I'd like to learn about the clarinet because clearly I don't know. It's played a clarinet. Show me a clarinet. LBG. LBG, show me a clarinet. TJ, I'd like to learn about the clarinet because clearly I don't know anything about it. It's just a long black one. Right? Yeah, it's not too black, I guess.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Yeah, that's way longer. It won't be as long as any other clarinet. Oh, okay. So that's a clarinet. What's a clarinet sound like? Ooh. A clarinet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:42 So a sax is... And a clarinet's... It's a tuba. No, a tuba's... It's actually a trombone. Yeah. Oh, so it's like Peter and the Wolf. It's like the jock.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Oh, Peter and the Wolf is heavy oboe. Is it? Jesus Christ. What's that guy playing? What's that guy playing? Big one. What's that guy playing behind the clarinet? That's an oboe. That's an oboe. The big standard. Search an oboe. What's that guy playing? What's that guy playing behind the clarinet? That's an oboe.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Search an oboe. What the fuck is that? Dude, I'm telling you, oboe is the best of them all. It is. Oboe's the best of them all. Why in the minority year that I don't know any of these? I know trumpet, saxophone, trumpet, saxophone, flute.
Starting point is 00:59:25 Trombone. Glockenspiel. This deal. Trombone, yes. Did you guys not have to play instruments growing up? No. We had recorder. Recorder and trumpet.
Starting point is 00:59:33 I had to play. You chose trumpet, though. Yeah, but I don't think that oboe was not a choice. Oboe was. We had recorder in fifth grade, and if you couldn't play it, then they just gave other people instruments. It's like, you suck. You're out.
Starting point is 00:59:44 I lost recorder, and I had to hold the notes for everybody else to play. The most annoying instrument in the world. That wasn't an oboe. Yeah. It sounds so bad. I had to shake an aspirin bottle filled with rocks. Really? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:59:57 I'm being told by the nerds in the chat that was a bassoon, not an oboe. Oh! Can we see the difference? See, I'd like to learn. My face red. I'm embarrassed. I didn't even know a bassoon was a... I think oboes or bassoons have like a loose...
Starting point is 01:00:10 Bassoon versus oboe. I don't think you know what you're talking about, sir. I played woodwinds. I played the alto sax. You played the alto sax? That's a question I've been asking. You weren't speaking up when we were talking about Kenny G. Well, I mean, he plays saxophone.
Starting point is 01:00:25 That's delightful. It is delightful. Sucks. I don't like that one as much. I also think they did that right. Like, blondes play flute, brunettes play clarinet. Yep. I think they nailed that.
Starting point is 01:00:38 It should be a fat guy with a trombone. Yep, fat guy with a trombone. Dude, that instrument's too small for how fat he is. Yeah. Time to upgrade, brother. How do you land on oboe adjournment? Oh, you're a tubist.
Starting point is 01:00:52 You gotta show this guy trombone. Well, he was playing the French horn. That's not enough instrument. Oh, that sucks. I would not have guessed that's what a bassoon is. Look at these four just talking out.
Starting point is 01:01:03 These guys are just in the cantina band. A bassoon is a jazzy oboe. Should we go up and play our bassoons together? These boys are in Mos Eisley. And now we're adding them all together. Oh. You can't look cool playing a flute.
Starting point is 01:01:20 See, told you, clarinet, brunette. That's the oboe. That's the oboe. That's the oboe? Jesus Christ. I bet so much fucking goes on in the orchestras. You know that's like a clicky ass. Oh yeah. That's a lot of... That'd be a tough job because you get no glory
Starting point is 01:01:37 of that. You're just part of a group of a hundred. Not the gong man. You can't fuck up but you also can't get your flowers. Do you know if they fuck up? Do people, if they went to a big time... What's it called? Orchestra? Concert?
Starting point is 01:01:54 Symphony? Symphony. Thank you. Would they be like, yeah, it was good, but that third saxophonist was off. What a bad night. Untrained eye probably couldn't tell, but if youunned. Untrained eye, probably couldn't tell. But if you're part of the film community, maybe you could tell.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Yeah. Like an O-Lyman, you don't know if he fucked up on that play. Yeah, that's true. They have incredible oboe depth, but... You should have all 22 for symphonies. I mean, they probably do. They're probably kicking people out.
Starting point is 01:02:21 I like the thought of the bad boy of the flute section who smokes and he fucks everyone. He fucks everyone. There's no male flautists. No, it's not allowed. Okay. Jethro Tull. He was a male flautist.
Starting point is 01:02:38 I feel like I would be a 10 if I played the tuba. Jazz flute. Was it still flute? Yeah. What about the boy that led the children away, or the rats? Piper. Oh, St. Patrick, the leprechaun. Wait, what?
Starting point is 01:02:52 You're thinking of the Pied Piper. Am I thinking of the Pied Piper? St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I always confuse the Pied Piper with little Jack Horner, who just had his thumb in a Christmas pie. Now, which boy put his thumb in the Dutch wall? The Dutch wall. Oh, buddy.
Starting point is 01:03:08 You guys don't know what I'm talking about? The little Dutch boy who saved the town. I've heard of the little Dutch boy, but I didn't know what he was doing. Oh, his thumb was like the perfect size. To fit and save the town from flooding. Yeah. Huh. Sounds like a gay bird.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Hans Brinker. In the what? Yep. Brinker. In the what? Yep. He put his finger in the what? There he is. You guys never heard this? He looks terrified. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Well, the town was about to... He had the perfect thumb. He put his finger in a dike. That's what it said. That's literally what it is. That's what happened there. Who's literally what it is. That's what happened there. Who among us hasn't been there? In a leaking dike.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Wrap it up. Okay. God forbid you run into a leaking dike someday. God forbid a dike's about to ever take out your whole town. Excuse me, but I think my thumb is the perfect size. This wayward dyke. Gotta stop this dyke. Your thumb's out, boys.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Shit. We spin the wheel? No. Do the other ad? No. Also no. We're chilling. Add plug a dyke to my wheel.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Find a dyke, plug it. Oh, man. I'm glad you're back, man. I missed you. What's compliment minute? I don't know. Everyone has to compliment. You just seriously compliment someone else in the room.
Starting point is 01:04:47 Jesus Christ. Nothing. Ain't nothing. These name wheels have been a big bust. Yeah, they have. I'm going to make them bigger or something. Get Edmore. I think we just had a wheel reset.
Starting point is 01:05:08 We did yesterday. That's why. All right. Yeah, I'm fatigued. Sorry. You want to do the manscape, Dad? I hope no one else. Are you getting sick?
Starting point is 01:05:20 You feel like you're about to have it? I feel like, yeah. You ever get the vibe that, uh-oh, your body's kind of on edge? That's worse than being sick. I have that in the back of my head. I have the slight, and I just feel a little. I don't know. It could go either way.
Starting point is 01:05:34 I'll be puking later tonight. Yeah. And it was exacerbated during COVID. Now I feel like. Yeah. That feeling. Yeah. It's just big time.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Like, oh, a tickle in my throat. I'm dead. What could it be? What could it be now? It's never too early to play holiday music, boys, and it's never too early to start thinking about gifts. Do your little drummer boy a favor and use the Lawn Mower 4.0 to avoid another silent night in the bedroom.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Santa cares about his sack, and so should you. Look nice when you get naughty and get free shipping and 20% off by going to manscaped.com slash yak. The Manscaped Platinum Package 4.0 is the one-stop shop for the man who deserves it all it has everything needed to help you deck the halls from face to balls just in time for mistletoe season the platinum package includes the lawnmower 4.0 waterproof electric trimmer the weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer two-in--1 shampoo plus conditioner, which is sea kelp infused, the body wash aloe infused hydration, deodorant, which is aluminum free, the crop preserver anti-chafing ball deodorant,
Starting point is 01:06:32 the crop reviver ball spray, and the magic mat disposable shaving mats. And for the perfect stocking stuffer, add in the brand new body buffer, an incredible body scrubber that makes exfoliating easy and a lot cleaner than that stinky old loofah get 20 off and free shipping at manscape.com slash yak that's 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com slash yak manscape get your jingle balls ready for the holidays who do you guys think is going to win uh the like who's odds on favorite to win this little tournament that we have for the world cup i think we're brazil looking really fucking good yesterday zaz at the bottom with Who's odds on favorite to win this little tournament that we have for the World Cup?
Starting point is 01:07:05 I think Brazil looked really fucking good yesterday. Zaza's at the bottom with Brazil, though. It's not most goals. It's just whoever has the win. It's just whoever wins. Oh, really? Most goals punishes second least goals. So right now, Sass would punish Zaza.
Starting point is 01:07:17 That would make sense. Wait, most goals punishes second least goals? Yeah. Punishes? Most goals picks a punishment for a React member with second-fewest goals. I think me and Cater locked in at 13. Then you go to countries, so Sass has good odds, and Zaha has good odds. I'm not locked in.
Starting point is 01:07:35 I still got Morocco. And I do. And Nick and Big Cat. I don't know who's going to win this thing. I took down Spain today. I took you out, Steven. Brazil. England's looking good.
Starting point is 01:07:44 England and France is great. Don't sleep on Argentina even though they lost. I feel like people are turning off their brains about Argentina. Spain 0 for 3 on penalty kicks. I feel like that's historically bad. They practice 1,000 of them? Yeah. That's way too much in your head.
Starting point is 01:07:57 That has to be the worst ever, right? They look garbage. I'm sure it's happened before. Did you get your jersey? It hasn't come yet. Fuck Adidas. So now they're out. Fuck Adidas.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Just getting a Spain jersey. Pepe Che jersey. Pepe Che is a dope jersey. Should we sell that in the Yaks store? You got a Pepe Che? I got it customized. It was supposed to be here
Starting point is 01:08:14 over the weekend. It has not. I've been in touch with the customer service. Now they're out. You've been in touch with what? Customer service.
Starting point is 01:08:21 You are a big get in touch with customer service guy. Well, the FedEx label was created in November before Thanksgiving. Yougiving bought bootleg didn't you no i bought legit it's probably a tough time to buy though yeah i'd imagine what with the world cup and all iran stuff came fucking quick as hell that's yeah that's authentic they wore that as the jerseys. That's why they suck so bad. They wore a little Dan sweatshirt.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Sweatshirts on. Didn't they used to play in long pants and shit like that in the 1930 World Cup or something like that? I feel like you're right. They had really baggy... The refs wore full suits or some shit like that or they were all wearing ridiculous shit.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Why did humanity invent the hats with the little spinners on top? I saw a homeless man wearing one once. Really? Yeah. I wish that they had really embraced that technology because I think that they were kind of gearing up for human helicopters.
Starting point is 01:09:18 Were they? I thought it was purely aesthetic. I remember the Inspector Gadget hat. Oh, yeah. The handlebars came out. Yeah. It just flew around. Best McDonald's toy ever.
Starting point is 01:09:27 You collected your gadget? Nugget buddies existed. I said what I said. Well, I just don't think that's a bold thing for you to say. Not at all. Best McDonald's toy ever. You bought pieces of Inspector Gadget. You got a giant Inspector Gadget.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Yeah, but nobody got all the pieces. I think we're forgetting Beanie Baby Minis. You did not get all the pieces, and you know you didn't get all the pieces. I got all the pieces. Yeah, I'm going to side with Nick here. That's pretty fucking sick. I loved it. If you could get all the pieces, but you would go to McDonald's one day
Starting point is 01:09:52 and get an arm, and the next day get the same arm. Brandon, the toys were weekly. It really isn't made enough. There isn't enough, like, shit brought up about the fact that the Monopoly thing was rigged. Oh, yeah. That's so fucked up. I'm removing the negative connotation around that word. What?
Starting point is 01:10:09 Rigged. Rigged. I only want that to be paused. Yeah, that's true. Oh, hell yeah, that was rigged. Have they done that since we found out it was rigged? Have they done it again? No, but it's just like there's so much of my fucking childhood
Starting point is 01:10:20 wasted on trying to get those pieces. It was still fun to get them, though. It was, but it was fucking rigged. It was. Did you guys watch the Pepsi Jet doc? No, I need to watch that. I thought it was really good. I thought it was horrible, and I turned it off, and it pissed me off.
Starting point is 01:10:32 What was that? I really liked it. Explain the Pepsi Jet. It's very differing views. Wait, why? Because I thought this guy was like, I'm smarter than this. He says, fuck you. You can't be.
Starting point is 01:10:42 No, fuck that guy. He thought he was like, no, I didn't like it. He was a young guy with a dream. He did not have a dream. He saw that there was no small print at the bottom of this Pepsi commercial where you could get seven million Pepsi points and get a Harrier jet. And he was like, oh, this is my ticket to get millions of dollars. And so he bought a bunch of. He had this rich friend.
Starting point is 01:11:00 He used to lead hiking expeditions. And when he was like 21 year old college student and he remembered this rich old guy who he took hiking once and reached out to him and was like there's this fine print here where i we could buy set like seven million dollars worth of pepsi points or every 10 cents just got you a pepsi point whether you bought pepsi or not and so he got him to donate like 70 700 000 they sent a check to peps Pepsi and that was enough to cover the 7 million Pepsi points and they're like, give us our Harrier jet. We figured it out. They took a commercial literally. This is an obvious joke. Was this pretty recently?
Starting point is 01:11:32 It was like legend for us when we were in middle school. I remember hearing about it. So what happened? Did he get the jet? You gotta watch the Netflix documentary. Sure not. I could spoil it right now but at one point they offer him pepsi offers him one million dollars they're like if you go away we'll give
Starting point is 01:11:50 you your 700 000 back and a million dollars and he doesn't take it oh i guess i'll spoil it he ruins jokes now he's just a dick if he ruins jokes on he ruins fun 90s commercials i thought it was a good documentary i really enjoyed it i was rooting for pepsi oh i wasn't i thought it was a good documentary. I really enjoyed it. I was rooting for Pepsi. Oh, I wasn't. I thought it was fun. And then Pepsi did a rigged thing in India, and a bunch of people died in a stampede. It was crazy. What?
Starting point is 01:12:14 Yes. I don't know that. It gets really into you. It was fixed. It wasn't rigged. It was fixed. Thank you. It was fixed.
Starting point is 01:12:19 They did this fixed thing, and yeah. They were blowing up Pepsi trucks with molotov cocktails over there over their contest shit it was crazy anyway i thought it was interesting but i didn't know i'd always heard like the legend of the kid who tried to get the jet but i didn't know it was like a real thing but anyway i'm gonna watch it you should i thought it was good save your time do very differing reviews did you guys watch the end of White Lotus nah
Starting point is 01:12:49 I haven't started it I don't even know what that show is I finally watched Dahmer and god damn was that a chore yeah that was one of those
Starting point is 01:12:56 shows that you watch and you're like this just sucks why would you watch why watch it I started it and then I was like I'm not watching this
Starting point is 01:13:03 this is fucking like there's nothing steaming about it and then I just like, I'm not watching this. This is fucking terrible. There's nothing redeeming about it. And then I just couldn't. Once you start it, you can't stop it. What's enjoyable about watching it? Nothing. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Even if it's well-made, what's enjoyable? Nothing was enjoyable about it. It sucked. I think that there's some things enjoyable about watching. There's a morbid curiosity. I don't have that. You have no morbid curiosity? No morbid curiosity. I don't have that. You have no morbid curiosity? No morbid curiosity.
Starting point is 01:13:26 I don't want to know about serial killers. I don't. You like it? I, I, I like it. You just feel like it was, like, laborious. I did not focus. I did not focus during it. You could kind of just, like, keep an eye on it.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Right. And do some other shit, miss an episode or two, and it didn't change anything because it was so fucking long. So long. Ten episodes. It should have been a movie. Or four episodes, maybe. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Everybody go watch the Tommy Walker video. That's a watch. It's only three minutes long. That's a great idea by Francis. Yeah. Yeah. Francis very funny on
Starting point is 01:14:04 Tucker Carlson last night. He's been crushing it on that. Did one last night. Let's see a little bit of the teaser of Tommy Walker so people go watch the whole thing. Direct by Quentin Tarantino. I hear you like knives. What kind of knives do you like?
Starting point is 01:14:30 Sharp, accurate, and shining knives. So basically, if a knife is dull, errant, opaque, you don't want it. No, I'll still use it to chuck it at stuff, but I can't guarantee that I'll keep it. What's your favorite thing to jab? The grass. You like to cut the grass or you like to stab the earth?
Starting point is 01:15:02 I like to stab the earth. Why? Because it's real fun and it's a way to get anger off your mind. What do you have to be mad about? You shouldn't have asked that. I want to see Brandon. Brandon is the Glenny Balls role here. What do you like about wolves?
Starting point is 01:15:23 Dude, I think this series is going to be a hit. We'll go watch it. I think this series gives you conversation vibes, kind of. I think that people will enjoy this. Why is it called United States of Kids? Every kid from every state. Every kid, every state.
Starting point is 01:15:39 Damn. Yeah, I feel like people will push their loud kids in front of him happily. We might just change Tommy's appearance to represent a certain state. He'll be New Mexico Tommy next, and he'll be Minnesota Tommy. Tommy's such a stud. I love Tommy. Can you tell him that?
Starting point is 01:15:58 I will. That mullet is looking incredible. That was a couple months ago. Yeah, it's out of control now. I finally had the conversation with him the other day. I said, hey, maybe let's think about cutting the mullet. And he said, no. Yeah, nice.
Starting point is 01:16:11 He said, I like this. He derives power from it. Maybe. But it's out of control. Samson, how long is it? I mean, it's down. It's a lot further than it is there. I got to bring him in soon.
Starting point is 01:16:26 Yeah. Bring him in for a long show. When we're going to be drunk? Are you drinking eggnog? Probably not. Exactly. Oh, you're drinking eggnog. Yeah, you got to.
Starting point is 01:16:39 What's the last thing we drank? And I got just moonshine. By the time I got home, that apple pie moonshine or whatever it was? Yeah, you felt bad by the time you got home. By 8 o'clock, I was just had a headache. It ruined us. Yeah, I mean, that moonshine was literally the bottom shelf of the liquor store. It tasted good.
Starting point is 01:16:58 KB, will you just have an alcoholic eggnog? I want you off the wagon so bad. Me too at this point. Just not fun? What have you been doing on the weekends? I went to a bar, which, oh my god, that was not worth it. It is where a lot of people are drinking.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Virtually everyone. Everyone? Not worth it. Yeah. It is where a lot of people are drinking. The NA. Everyone. Virtually everyone. Everyone? Yeah. You become hyper aware of how lame it is. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:33 But they have so much fun just doing nothing. Everyone just having a blast standing. Just being drunk. That's awesome. That is awesome. Yeah. And even if the game's on. See why people do it.
Starting point is 01:17:43 They're not watching the game. No one's watching the game. Everyone just standing, having a blast. How long did you stay there? 45 minutes. Oh, okay. Was it people you knew at the bar? No, it's not a soul.
Starting point is 01:17:59 I went alone. No way. Oh, I mean, I believe you. That would have been legendary. Go sober alone. Observe. A few people. You really are just Jeffrey Dahmer.
Starting point is 01:18:10 That would be weird. Yeah. It'd be weird to be Jeffrey Dahmer. It'd be really weird. That would be weird if one of us was a serial killer. Yeah. Yeah. If one day one of us just wasn't in and we looked at the news and it was like,
Starting point is 01:18:24 oh yeah, he's a serial killer It would fuck me up Yeah You guys know about the Missouri kid Who was kidnapped? No And Got free?
Starting point is 01:18:33 No When? This happened in like The early 2000s I never heard about it Oh When did he get free? This guy was
Starting point is 01:18:39 This kid was kidnapped For four years And he went to school And like played with the neighbors And everything And Did he get a town over something like that yeah geez that's insane well how kidnap was he he lived with this man why would he tell the teacher why would he tell exactly i guess the
Starting point is 01:18:58 guy threatened him like bad enough or he didn't tell anyone that's nuts damn that seems like an easy way to get out of it if you're a kid. Hey, teacher, let me go home with this. I've got to read more into it because that's insane. That was just a very kidnappable kid. Do you think that if you kidnap a kid and give them a better lifestyle
Starting point is 01:19:18 to ethical kidnapping, like gone baby gone? Could you steal a dog if you give it a give it a better life. I'll have to put an air tag on my son. You ever see Gone Baby Gone? Yeah. Remember at the end?
Starting point is 01:19:33 Morgan Freeman? Yeah, Morgan Freeman. Has Morgan Freeman done something? No, he will never be cancelled. Come on. Can you like date a step-granddaughter? Yeah, something like that. I might be a little... I just always...
Starting point is 01:19:53 I don't know. I've always, like, anytime anyone brings up Morgan Freeman, I'm like, didn't he do something? This actually shows how broken, like, the world is. Like, you hear one thing, and you're like... We'd rather not think about that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:04 Yeah, maybe. 2018? Inappropriate behavior. world is like you hear one rather not like rather not think about yeah yeah maybe from us is 2018 inappropriate behavior well oh it's sexual harassment okay listen they've ruined it the man played god in the movie movie. I mean, he was in Shawshank. Yeah. Shawshank. Hello, man. All right.
Starting point is 01:20:30 You have to do a dozen, right? 230, yeah. How are you going to do? We're facing a rookie team, so I don't know. Swamp ass. Ebo and... Oh, Ebo's really good. Who else is on that team?
Starting point is 01:20:44 I think Hubs is on that team. Chaps. And Chaps. So, yeah. Okay. Play good defense. Yeah. My best.
Starting point is 01:20:54 Yeah. All right. Well, I got to do some stuff, too. See everyone tomorrow? Firing day? Yeah. Firing day. So, are we putting everybody on a wheel?
Starting point is 01:21:04 I think so. Maybe everyone on the second floor. TJ are we putting everybody on a wheel? I think so. Maybe everyone on the second floor TJ can you get on a wheel and we'll just spin it and then just have them come in and be like listen
Starting point is 01:21:11 if we were going to do this you would have been fired. Maybe they're not allowed to go to the Christmas party. Yeah. I mean I feel like you have the authority to just say they're fired
Starting point is 01:21:19 and then say it's a joke in like an hour. Yeah okay we'll do that. That works. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be funny. All right cool. What do you say? What do that. That works. That'll be funny. Alright, cool.
Starting point is 01:21:26 What's that face, Steven? Liabilities. Why? Well, I mean, you're going to be on the wheel. That's fine. So are you. If you're on the wheel, if your name comes up, you're actually fired. No.
Starting point is 01:21:41 But if it doesn't come up, if it doesn't land on your name, 50 bucks. How many people are on the wheel? Hundreds? It's going to be like, whatever, like 100, whoever on the second floor. If your name comes up, I'm walking into Erica's office, I'm like, me or Stephen Che. The reverse Rudy. I'm like, you pick.
Starting point is 01:22:02 I don't care. No, what's in that for me? Nothing. Rudy. You pick. I don't care. No. What's in that for me? Nothing. The excitement of we get to watch to see if Stephen Chay is getting fired. Well, we're all in this then. If I'm in this, then we're all in this. Do you think Stephen realizes I just did the thing that he was like, you can't do that?
Starting point is 01:22:18 Yeah. I don't think he realizes that. Oh. I don't understand what's happening. We were saying that I'll tell someone they actually got fired and you're like,
Starting point is 01:22:29 you can't do that. And then I literally just did that to you. Getting ahead of it. All right, so you're fired tomorrow if you come up. No.
Starting point is 01:22:40 But you're a team player. So then I'll be fired. I hope that doesn't happen. Fuck it. Steven always disrespects the wheel, bro. What the fuck? I obey the wheel more than anyone. Dude, you guys are so fucking lame.
Starting point is 01:22:51 Respect the wheel more than anyone? Yeah. Hanging wedgie? Fuck off. Oh, yeah. That was an execution issue. I was in there. Steven won't get fired.
Starting point is 01:23:04 You guys don't respect the wheel at all Ron won't go to Iran I'm going to Iran I know you are Who's that guy? I thought it was Gus Johnson It's not It's probably just a guy getting interviewed
Starting point is 01:23:17 Beautiful suit though Beautiful suit and a good umbrella I love when a guy has a nice umbrella It's a Farnsworth Bentley I think Jesus Christ He doesn't like Gus Johnson I'm taking a guy has a nice umbrella. It's a Farnsworth Bentley, I think. Jesus Christ, Kate. He doesn't like Gus Johnson. I'm taking a lot of L's lately. I'm really struggling over here.
Starting point is 01:23:30 Umbrella? You love umbrella clarinet players? Oh, my God. Just a guy. Just a sucker for them. A nice wooden handle is what I'm saying. That's really a high bar. You can tell it's a nice...
Starting point is 01:23:43 What are your dislikes in a man? All right. That's a show. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. It's the act. It's your strong, yak style. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act.
Starting point is 01:24:15 It's the act. Unhappy birthday to Trevor Messiker.

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