The Yak - KB Would Dominate the Jazz Flute | The Yak 12-6-22
Episode Date: December 6, 2022How is Brandon still alive?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. The show started.
The show started already?
Wait a minute.
No fucking way.
Is that the dozen defensive player of the week KB No Swag?
Oh, my God.
No way.
Dude, how did I get that?
You were a defensive stalwart out there on the trivia course.
A real tie law.
Nick, back-to-back offensive player of the week, too.
I feel like offensive.
What does that even mean?
I feel like.
What does that mean?
I feel like there should only be one award.
Rookie.
How many rookies are there?
Too many
Really?
Yeah
Too many
In fact, I have to leave at 2 o'clock today
Because I have to do the dozen
We're recording the dozen
I'm against a rookie
I'm against Ebo
He scored 10 points last time
Rookie of the week
Yeah
No, but like
You guys need a good defensive player on your team
No, I have a good defensive player, right
Yeah, big boy
Hit a dab
There he is
Leave these boys in the dust.
What did you do defensively?
Did you train my guys to be defensive?
Huh?
What are the notes?
Stole geography, which was a turning point in a something win.
And then your second stat's offensive.
Scored 9.57 points in Frank Yates' Boston wins.
And Boston appears.
Oh, I did not.
To be misspelled.
I think I got like two right.
Does that say Boston with an I?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll take it.
That's how defensive he is.
No O whatsoever.
Goddamn.
Goddamn.
Where you been?
I've been fucking everywhere, bro.
DC?
Looks like you were in Eden maybe. Were you at Eden? I was in Gethsemane for a little bit. Oh, been fucking everywhere, bro. D.C.? Looks like you were in Eden, maybe.
Were you at Eden? I was in Gethsemane for a little bit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was one of those biblical gardens.
And soon, hopefully, Iran.
I got my Iran sweatshirt on today.
I'm doing all I can to get to Iran.
I pitched this to you yesterday, and you said no,
but I'm going to do it to you live to exert pressure.
Yep.
Invite me, Kyle, and Sass, Kate, Brandon, Big Cat.
We'll go to Iran, Texas.
It has two A's in it.
We'll dress as if it's actually Iran.
And we'll do a video there as if it's Iran.
Dude, I don't think that people want to cop out.
Dude, I don't think that people want to. They're not going to let you off the hook again.
Again? Do you have the hook again. Again?
Do you have glasses on the whole show?
No.
When did they come out?
They look great.
You need to rub them a little bit, though.
The right lens is a little foggy.
They're both foggy.
These wheel guys have gone off the deep end.
They will probably punish you worse than the Iranians would.
Hypothetically.
People that want you to attempt to go to Iran right now,
they want you to get on a plane now,
they're wishing for your death.
Yeah, yeah.
They just want me out of here.
That's all right.
I don't think you would die.
I think you would just be a political prisoner and never come back.
But what if I got Khashoggi'd?
What if I got the old Jamal Khashoggi?
The old, you know,
what did they do, quarter him?
They chopped him up.
No, well, probably eventually, but no,
they chopped him up.
Yeah, that would be a tough outcome, but Griner didn't get...
She's in Russia, though.
Yeah, but...
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know, but I'm applying for a visa.
I'm talking to military guys. I'm talking to military guys.
I'm going to talk to Julio this week, rather.
And maybe Donnie.
I don't know.
I feel like maybe going with a couple people might make it funner if we get locked up in jail.
That they might divide us to keep our stories from...
I don't think I'm going to let you go, man.
No, I got to go somewhere.
Put the blame on me. No, I got to go somewhere. You have to go somewhere blame on me no i gotta go somewhere you have to go somewhere
no i gotta go somewhere in iran i and unless uh unless like i apply for a visa and it gets denied
or i don't know i'm talking to some military guys that might be able to help me out what if you fly
into an adjacent country and then in the middle of the night you touch your toe i think that that
would be that would be would be an awesome video.
Is it like that?
Like that people aren't going at all?
They just killed, I think, 15,000 of their own people.
I think that was actually propaganda.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that was propaganda to try and make us
hate them and go to war with them.
But they, really?
And they are.
They got gut?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck me.
I mean, they aren't indiscriminately killing people in the streets that's true and yeah and a lot of them are women protesters but i i
think that they're like willing to i think that there's even pushback on the hijab stuff like
they might they might like uh back off that law about forcing women to wear hijabs they're just
killing women you should be fine i know but i'm face bald, so I look like a woman kind of.
You know what I mean?
Even if I grow out.
Remember Goatee Week?
I just didn't participate.
Oh, yeah, we've got that January 16th.
You're looking.
I see whiskers now.
It's cheek whiskers.
Cheek whiskers, neckbeards.
They fade down south.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
It's not a good look.
But I am going to try to go.
And dry lips, too.
Not a good look for your boy today.
He's good.
He's good.
Virtue?
I'm actually suspended from Twitter right now.
I would be.
No, I shouldn't.
I only do it on the eyebrows.
How did you get suspended from Twitter?
From saying I was going to kill someone.
I'm a murder threat.
Okay.
And I meant it. I'm so justified. saying I was going to kill someone. I'm a murder threat. Okay. And I meant it.
So, justified.
Who were you going to kill?
Just someone who was wheel shaming me.
Oh.
Someone who told me you can't keep doing this.
And Twitter made me do it.
What else have you done?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Not enough.
But I'm trying to go to Iran.
Iran.
I'm trying to think.
What have you done? What happened?'m trying to go to iran iran i'm trying to what have you done uh or what
happened you didn't go to labor you didn't go to fucking the dentist in la no i did go to the
dentist but i went when i came back but i did get my teeth cleaned um you were cast you had the
nails i didn't go or i did it but and i also genuine very genuinely did the in and out the
entire time i know people don't believe it.
I was there with you, brother.
Yeah, TJ stood tall too.
But I didn't go to Le Bernardin yet.
My boy Maresh is going tomorrow.
Confessional, but you did that.
Want to go with him?
How's he going?
He's going at 10.30 p.m. That was the only reservation he could get, and he got it months ago.
Really? Yeah. Did he go through the website or open table? You're going to have to hit up Maresh. Why is he going? He's going at 10.30 p.m. That was the only reservation he could get, and he got it like months ago. Really?
Yeah.
Did he go through the website or open table?
We're going to have to hit up Maresh.
Why is he going?
He just likes fine dining?
IBM.
Yeah, fuck.
I need to link with Maresh more.
What did you motherfuckers do while I was gone?
Did you have a fun week last week?
Uh, hmm.
What did we do?
What happened on the wheel last week?
I was sick.
Just a week.
I just kept it to the weekend.
I have no idea what I did yesterday or Saturday or the week before.
I have, KB, I know what you're talking about.
Like brain jelly?
Something is this.
I'm in a deep haze.
Yeah.
I don't know what we did.
I'm not like mental health.
You guys got to get on the ginkgo.
What?
No.
I've been five pumps of ginkgo in my water every morning on an empty stomach.
The blood has been blowing through my vein.
It doesn't sound good.
Oh, fuck.
The blood's been blowing out of my ass for days.
The ginkgo ain't working.
What do you mean, pumps?
Is it like a liquid ginkgo root that you spray into your five pumps into your water on an empty stomach every morning.
It should increase blood flow in the brain, but I don't think it is.
Damn.
Bring some in.
My ginkgo?
Yeah.
No.
Fuck.
Now you mooch ginkgo.
I sent you home sick yesterday.
I didn't think you would be here today.
Yeah.
I got real...
I was changing colors after the show.
Yeah.
You mean you sent her home?
I sent her home. I said, Kate,
right after the show, she was white as a sheet. My lips were blue.
She was freezing and it was very comfortable
in here. Everybody's
been getting sick. Big Cat's been sick.
I went and did something, came back, and she
was as red as
any human being I've ever seen.
She was clearly sick. Yeah.
But you made it.
I'm here.
You feel better?
Breathing on everybody.
I feel nauseous, but I don't feel.
I'm glad you can.
I'm about to stomp out of here.
No, no, I don't.
I have felt nauseous for like a year now.
I just always feel sick, so I don't know.
That's cool.
IBS?
I don't know.
It's not.
It's not.
I'm not proofing everyone.
I don't.
Just nauseous? Yeah, just like this It's not. It's not. I'm not profiting everyone. I don't. Just nauseous?
Yeah, just like this constant state of nausea.
Damn.
I can't explain it, but it's been.
Dude, yeah.
It's nonstop every day.
I just wake up pissed.
Yeah.
Frustrated.
And I went sober, too.
I'm about to go off the deepest of ends if this keeps up.
Yeah.
Wait, what do you mean?
You're waking up pissed?
Did you talk about this?
I'm waking up, like, sick every morning,
and I'm stomping to the gym going extra hard,
feeling even sicker.
Maybe you got, like, asbestos or some kind of bad...
Wet poison?
Yeah, some kind of West Virginia-type,
Blackwater-type of shit.
Might have a lime.
Hi.
Hello.
Hey. You. Hello. Hey.
You.
What's up?
There's a lot of
Blackman's looking
Christ-like today.
What do you mean
Christ-like?
He's got like the,
I don't know,
he just looks
Sharp.
He's really got it together.
He looks like he smells
good today.
That ain't true.
Shut up.
Christ-like?
Chill with that.
Chill with that.
Is there any bald Jesuses?
Uh,
you think Jesus was balding?
Wow, no. He might have been.
What did he dye at, 33? Yeah.
He had a luscious head of hair. I don't know.
I would think they would
be, that the hairlines were
worse back then. Why?
Because they're more... I feel like that's
something that would improve with evolution.
Did they do haircuts back then? I think it's going
the other way for evolution.
Yeah, Kate.
Definitely wore barbers, right?
Starting when?
What about the Caesar cut?
Did Samson get his hair cut by Delilah?
Yeah, but that was out of...
But in Caesar's time, like Julius Caesar time, were they cutting hair?
Doesn't he have a haircut name after?
I know we call it that now, but they didn't have Caesar.
Why would they call it that, Kate?
I don't know.
Why would they call it a Caesar Kate? I don't know.
Why would they call it a Caesar salad?
It has nothing to do with Julius Caesar.
It was made by another man named Caesar in Mexico.
Damn, you're dead right.
I went to the original Caesar salad place when I walked into Mexico.
Why?
Why?
It was the first.
Did you get one? That salad originated in Mexico?
Yeah.
Was it good?
Was it like a Mexican salad?
The guy made it right at my table.
Huh.
They probably had like a knife or something to cut hair.
I feel like every country probably has a restaurant that claims to have created any dish.
And I don't go to Botswana, so I wouldn't know if there's a Botswana restaurant that
claims to have made the first.
Oh, those are scissors.
Those are shears.
I mean, that seems believable, though.
Yeah.
What? The Mexico thing? Why are you so against it? I'm not against it. I'm justars. I mean, that seems believable, though. Yeah, what, the Mexico thing?
Why are you so against it?
I'm not against it.
I'm just saying.
You think he popped in.
I feel like there could also be a restaurant in France that says,
we made the Caesar salad.
Who would fact check it?
And who would know?
I think it's consensus, though.
I think that it's historically attributed to this.
There's a long-form story about it.
About, like, the actual, there's, like, a story about it.
I guess anyone can make up a story.
Just to cover everybody's bases.
TJ sent an important text.
Sorry to interrupt to the yak chat.
Oh,
okay.
All right.
This is going to answer the question that I have.
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
TJ.
Yes.
I'm the man.
Thanks Nick.
Oh,
I mean,
it would have gotten you in trouble.
Not me.
Why?
If you said it,
I wasn't going to say anything.
I was protecting.
I haven't said anything all day.
Good man.
Sorry to interrupt, Kate.
What the fuck?
I'm just reading this message that he sent.
Yeah.
Pretty crazy.
Rumors are swirling already.
I'm reading this one line that says,
acknowledge it slash make a big
deal. That was a typo.
It's right above, fellas,
I'm out today. I'll be in the rest of the week.
That's from Sass.
Wait, Sass is out?
Same text that you just sent.
Finally.
Gay bird.
Gay bird
was a funny one.
Remember gay bird? a funny one remember gay bird gay bird gay bird we got we got gay lord maybe
no we had gay bird yeah it's redundant that was that was a shot from the oldie yeah yeah it really
was i got gay bird let's get you gay gay bird was awesome dude gay bird was awesome, dude. Gay bird was hilarious.
That was.
What did it even mean?
I don't know.
I don't know why it tickled me so.
Because you hadn't heard it.
Heard it in a while, yeah.
I need to see the etymology chart of gay bird.
I think we could split up birds into gay or very straight.
Yeah, birds are either very gay or very straight.
I'll name a very straight bird.
Peregrine falcon douchebag.
Okay, all right.
200 miles per hour and a nosedive.
Or a gay bird flamingo.
Yes.
All right.
It's pink.
What's a penguin?
What's a penguin?
Gay as hell.
Penguins are gay, but ostriches are straight.
Yes.
What about emu? Is an emu also straight?
Emu ain't.
Emu ain't.
Okay, I like that.
Penny macaw.
Robins gay.
How do we feel about pigeons?
Pigeons are straight.
Pigeons are like a dirty bachelor.
They're dirty. They eat garbage.
They don't give a fuck.
Dub is gay.
Pigeons were domesticated
and they're always
fucked up because they rely on humans
still. We don't do
shit for them.
The carrier pigeon is extinct.
So there really are no
pigeons outside of cities, right? You don't
see pigeons in the woods. Because they
fully rely on us, like crumbs.
They rely on our trash to live.
That's a real truth about them? They just shit
their eggs right on the ground, I think.
I don't know how they survive. I don't know.
They can't make nests.
Crows might be the straightest thing.
Period?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about like a buzzard slash vulture?
Straight.
Straight, yeah.
But blue jay, you know, cardinal, gay.
Albatross, gay.
It would seem like a blue jay would be straight.
Which ones are getting into like zebra guts?
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Vultures?
Vulture, right?
Yeah, vultures.
Turkey?
Turkeys.
All right, what's a chicken?
Chicken?
I think chicken's gay.
That's chicken gay.
What's another name for a chicken?
There's show chickens, and there's eating chickens.
Did you guys see the gay horse wedding?
What?
Two gay horses got married together off TikTok.
No way.
Yeah.
People are up in arms.
People are unhappy about these gay stallions.
Or they're just like, I mean, I guess, I don't know.
I guess they got forced to get married.
Damn.
I guess they're not consenting horses.
They forced the gay marriage upon them.
Yeah, there was a whole ceremony and everything.
But, I mean, how did they know?
Unless they just caught these horses sucking each other off in the stable.
Which maybe they did.
You see this shit room?
Aw.
Oh, so maybe they were nibbling at each other.
Is that like butchering?
Most horses who have not been exposed to David Bowie's discography Oh, so maybe they were nibbling at each other. Is that like butchering?
Most horses who have not been exposed to David Bowie's discography like to run and play with each other,
but my horse and his horse boyfriend like to make out for hours
and move as one unit.
We call this a horse structure.
When my horse and his horse boyfriend meet,
they form what is known as an unmovable horse structure,
which has never been infiltrated until tonight.
Are these multiple people having gay horses?
Horse people are...
This isn't even the wedding I was talking about.
Horses of TikTok.
Gay horse is just like playing basketball granny style.
Tommy Walker videos though.
Yes.
Hilarious.
Oh, shit.
I haven't seen it yet.
It's hilarious.
Gotta watch it. That's awesome. What's the seen it yet. It's hilarious. Gotta watch it.
That's awesome.
What's the feedback like?
I'm trying to stay away from it.
Yeah.
Don't want to know.
You've been stressed as hell.
This has been a stressor on me, yes.
Your hair gets better when you get stressed.
I got my hair cut yesterday.
I went to my girl Erica, and she hooked me up.
And the beard's also at the perfect length right now.
So everything, this might be as good as I'm capable of looking. I want you to go burly with the beard's also at the perfect length right now so everything this might be as
good as i'm capable of i want you to go burly with the beard early yeah i can't go burly why
not a lot of burl to me my lives i think that you need a maroon custom suit yeah i have custom
full full full maroon all the way custom ron's never paid for a custom suit. He just writes game shows and then expenses the suits.
Jeff D. Lowe method.
Okay, I can go full custom.
Where do I get a custom suit?
Enzo Custom.
I need a custom suit.
Why did you just...
I want an olive one.
Okay.
My favorite color to wear.
Really?
It looks the best on you.
It probably looks good in olive.
Oh, no, you're wrong.
You're dead wrong about that.
Olive green?
You're fucking dead wrong about that.
I want to get custom suits.
Should I put it on my wheel?
Custom suit, yeah.
We did that video last year,
but I had to go to Men's Warehouse
and get a custom suit,
and I felt like a boss in that thing.
I would love a custom suit.
We just need color assignments.
Oh, okay.
And then we do an episode
where we all wear our fancy suits.
We can do suit week.
Suit week?
How do we do suit week?
Color wheel?
I would love to walk around New York City in a suit.
No matter what color it is, if you have a custom suit, it looks good.
Yeah.
It can be an ugly color, and because it's custom, it looks good.
Chartreuse?
I don't know.
What even color is chartreuse?
I don't know.
Is that some sort of pinkish?ish sounds like a good color for a suit
oh you're all right are those glasses like making you sick they might be
like those are not just clear frames are they it's making your eyes bigger
they work a little bit i can read now but like, are those just not your...
They're not mine, no.
Chartreuse?
That's right.
I didn't see that coming.
It says Chartreuse.
Wow, I would not...
I actually would not like a suit in that color.
God damn.
It looks good in that living room, actually.
Yeah, it does.
Whoa.
I don't think it does look good in that living room.
I think it looks great.
No, it doesn't.
All right, don't sit on the fucking couch then
You can fucking stand
Wait is yellow Gatorade chartreuse?
Yeah it might be
Chartreuse Gatorade?
Yeah it definitely is
They kind of nailed it with that one
That's the best
So that's like a pickle right there
Up up up up up up up up
Up up up up up up
Looks like a pickle
Chartreuse front door.
Sage is beautiful.
You ever see those color matchers, the painters who get the exact shade with the red and blue?
It's a skill.
Or like landscape matchers who will just like set up their camera and their easel on a landscape
and paint it perfectly into it and blend it.
Yeah, that's cool.
That's good.
It's a skill.
That's a very good skill.
Is he about to match this color?
Wow.
Wow.
Did they put the green under the...
I would have started with purple.
Not green.
Ew.
I don't like that.
What's that?
So, yeah, that's just the color.
What's up?
A bad thing? Bad thing?
Good thing?
Sure as hell ain't a good thing.
Yeah, that didn't sound great.
One day I want him to resolve something in here.
I do think he needs our help.
Sitting on the resolve couch.
He just doesn't trust us to give him his help.
I don't think this person's very good at it.
No, he's not.
They just keep fucking up.
Yeah, they do. They should just do it in
as few strokes as possible.
If you have infinite strokes,
anyone could do this shit.
Yep.
Come on.
He had it.
Or she.
What do we think? He or she? do we think
he or she
look at the thumbs
gotta be he
alright
cool
alright
alright
what are you gonna do
with that
what are you gonna do
with that skill
run those numbies up
getting the creator fund
maybe
yeah
that's it though
that's the extent of it
that video had 35 million views wow holy fuck that's what he that's the extent of it that video had 35 million views
wow holy fuck that's what he's got yeah fair enough what does that uh lead to in the creator
fund what is that what is 30 like how much money does that equate to i don't know we gotta ask
chicken fry go to a live show for that though like he comes and like just like puts paint on
your shirt and it's just that you can't tell that would be awesome
I could see for makeup
like if that guy could come and find me the perfect
concealer that he makes like exactly
my skin tone
which is red
just be red paint
TikTok pays between 2 and 4 cents
for every 1000 views
someone do the math for me.
So that's two.
It's 20 for, man, 10,000.
200 for 100,000.
2,000 for a million.
2,000 pennies equals.
Is that $700 or $7,000?
Fuck that.
How much is 2,000?
Between 7 and 14. 2,000? Fuck that. How much is $2,000? Between $7,000 and $4,000.
$2,000 is $20?
Man, I don't know.
That's correct.
$20 for a million?
So we've got $32 million.
I feel like that's not enough.
That sucks.
But they're making money.
They're getting rich.
It's funny that they can make more off that than someone who sells a painting.
Like, if you actually tried your best to make your best painting,
just a swatch of color can make more money on TikTok.
If you know what I mean.
Brandon, everything okay?
My concern was the Tommy video.
When it was presented to me, I had one edit,
one thing I wanted to get taken out of there.
And I got concerned just now that it didn't get taken out of there, but it did.
So I had to go watch it to make sure that it was out.
Did he say gay bird?
He did not say gay bird, although he will from now on
because I'm going to go home and teach it to him.
Yeah.
They sun all the kids at school.
If they're not nice to you, call them a gay bird.
They work in New Jersey public schools, right?
Definitely.
It transcends time and space.
Gay lord, gay bird, gay wad.
Maybe we did gay wad.
Oh, gay wad, yeah.
Gay wad.
That makes sense, though.
How?
Just gay com.
Yeah, it's gay com.
Oh, I was thinking of like a spitball
or something wadded up. Spitballs were hilarious. Yeah, it's gay cum. Oh, I was thinking of like a spitball or something wadded up.
Spitballs were hilarious.
Yeah, they were.
Remember that Sinbad movie, First Kid?
Anyone see that?
And he had a spitball and a paper towel roll.
Sinbad's not doing too good.
No, I just saw that.
Oh, what's wrong with Sinbad?
He had a stroke.
I love Sinbad.
And his family just put out like a GoFundMe.
He's like trying to recover and learn to walk again.
Frozen Bellbottoms is a top five stand-up hour.
Really?
Yeah.
1992, Sinbad.
Does it hold up?
I think it holds up well.
I feel like almost no stand-up hours hold up.
People have either built on the jokes or they got cancelled for being able to say the shit
that they used to say
well he
you know
he didn't really
talk about anything
controversial
so he's not
cancelable really
so his hold up
pretty good
there are others
that did
Harlan holds up
Hedberg holds up
yeah
but like
Eddie Murphy
or
I'm shocked that
Murphy
like Raw and Delirious
are just on Netflix
unedited
Trace O'Neal's fine
that's fine
Trace is good.
Yeah.
I like when they make a mockery
of the people who paid to see them.
Disdain for fans.
That is a nice wheelhouse to get into.
Just shitting on your fans
and they just have their mouths wide open
eating it.
I don't know if I'd want to live...
I don't know. Like these piece to live. I don't know.
Like these piece of shit yak fans
that want you to go to Iran?
No, please don't say that.
What were you telling me about that earlier?
That they're gay birds.
That would be a good name for yak fans.
Less controversial than Caleb named them.
Look at this motherfucker.
Stretting in.
Cocky bastard.
Cocky bastard.
Just look at him.
Glennie's dick walking
around, dude. Glennie's waiting for an interview
with a girl who he
believes has 38 double G's.
Yes.
Natural? I would have said H, triple H.
Triple H?
You're familiar with that.
I am.
Glennie just has a crazy rotation, dude.
We were at this gambling event, and he's like...
I heard about this.
What do you mean a rotation?
He's like Monty.
He's like three-card shuffling girls.
Yeah, that's true. One up in this section, one over
in this section, one over in this section,
send him one home, bringing another one
out. I heard he had four
in,
sent them home, brought four more replacements in.
It was more smaller groups
than that. What are we talking about sent home?
That's what I was shocked at. He said I had
to send one of them home. Where? Ph He said I had to send one of them home.
Where? Philly.
He had to send one of them home.
That's an adult woman.
You could go anywhere else.
He had to send her home, but it was just one.
But it was almost, instead of two
groups of four, I think it was closer to
four groups of two. As a girl, what do
you have to do to get sent home by Glennie Balls?
What makes him
make that call?
I don't know.
He is the king, though.
He is literally the king.
Every few Fridays,
he's like,
Kate,
because we sit next to each other,
he's like,
I've got a predicament.
Can you help me
sort this one out?
It's shuffling.
It's shuffling.
You know how,
like,
in the 80s and 90s...
You're friend-zoned
by Glennie.
I know.
Yeah, dude.
I'm like, oh, okay, Glennie.
Well, someday he'll see the light.
You know how flat butts were the thing?
You know how magazines were saying
flat butts were the thing in the 80s and 90s?
Yeah.
And before Sir Mix-a-Lot,
and then the Kardashians came around,
and Jennifer Lopez
in between.
I think that Glennie Balls is in the process of changing conventional male attractiveness
standards right now.
And I think that it's for the best.
Yeah.
So what's our...
I believe you.
What are we doing going forward?
What's a handsome man going forward?
Stout.
Sure. A little bit shortly. History is a circle. you. What are we doing going forward? What's a handsome man going forward? Stout? Short?
A little bit shortly?
History is a circle.
Venus of Willendorf, but for a man,
the penis of Willendorf.
Cliché as it sounds.
Confidence and a sense of humor and a podcast
really
gets it done.
You still DMing Venus?
Nah, she's moved on to Ansel Elgort.
Oh, no.
Elgort?
Yeah, she's moved on to Elgort.
It was always going to happen like that.
I know.
I know.
That's the pipeline.
She might be trying to make you jealous.
Yeah.
We need Elgort.
Maybe he stinks and she'll see the light.
She'll say, you know who was great?
He got cancelled.
Fled to Japan.
Making movies in Japan.
Elgort?
Why did he get cancelled?
Me Too movement, I believe.
Really?
I think so.
That's fucking bullshit.
Why is she interested in that?
I thought better of her.
I know, she's liking all Elgort's posts.
Hey, guys.
What's up?
Sorry I'm so fucking late.
Don't be sorry.
Fucking bism, fucking wit.
Why is his hair wet?
You just got here.
It's raining outside.
Che.
You just got here.
That's your first acknowledgement of him, honestly.
Hey, Roan.
What's up, brother?
Good to see you.
I haven't seen you in a while.
I know.
I'll ease in.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I hate being late.
Oh, no. We had just hit a lull, so. I'll ease in. I'm sorry. I'm late. I hate being late. No, no.
We had just hit a lull, so you're actually very welcome.
Damn, that's disappointing.
We were in a lull?
We just hit a lull in that conversation.
One momentary lull of a change of subject.
It's like when you switch positions in yoga.
What's up, guys?
Sorry I was out yesterday.
I was sick.
It's been going around.
Pretty sure I had the norovirus.
What's that? It's the thing that you get it's like basically like food point is you get it for like a day and
a half and you just puke and shit oh i think i had that yeah were you sick for like a day i was sick
friday night to and during saturday woke up sunday feeling a little bit better yeah like i was i
started p i went into the studio on sund Sunday night at like 9 o'clock,
started feeling like a little flush.
And I was like, oh, this is weird.
Finished PMT, walked out, puked my guts out in the bathroom.
Wasn't nauseous puking though.
Yeah.
I just had to puke.
My stomach hurt, puked, went home, was sick all day yesterday, woke up.
I don't feel like 100%, but I don't feel sick.
Yeah, I'm just a bit of a sleepyhead.
Yeah, I'm like fatigued.
Wait, has everybody gotten that?
I haven't.
I think I'm on the edge of it.
I think Big Ev had it.
You'll know right away.
Like, it just hits you like a wave,
and you're like, uh-oh.
And then you just, yesterday I puked and shit,
and then, yeah, today I feel fine.
Kind of sounds nice.
Lost seven pounds.
Yeah, I lost five. Seven pounds.
Yeah.
Not bad, right? Vomiting and shitting?
Well, I didn't eat. I also didn't eat
a meal for 48
hours. I go puffed bomb
pops. Ooh. A delight.
Bomb pops? Yeah. The red, white
and blue ones? Oh, yeah. I ate cereal
and then I puked right away and I guess
you're not supposed to eat any dairy.
Dairy is tough.
It's stupid.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Man.
Dude, what's up?
Where have you been?
Been around the world, dude.
I feel like I was in Gethsemane.
I was in D.C.
I was in Philly and Iran soon.
Is that one guy who replied to you,
I want to fucking kill him?
Wait, well, I missed it.
Is this the one you got suspended for?
I told him I'm going to kill him.
Yeah, I'm suspended.
I thought you were going to get suspended.
No, I meant what I said.
In that moment, I would have literally killed that person
if they were in front of me.
I think I've seen, you know what?
I think that guy complains about everything on this show
because I had him muted.
Oh, yeah?
So when I saw you, I just saw your tweet saying, I will literally murder you.
No hyperbole.
I couldn't have been more clear.
Then I looked up, and it said muted account.
And I unmuted it, and the guy was like, you guys can't keep getting away with this.
Like, you didn't do, what did he get mad about?
I don't know, but shaking your fist at the moon.
It's like, Pazas didn't smoke 80 cigarettes,
and you guys didn't do this.
Yeah, but I am my brother's keeper.
There are some promises that we have just ignored.
But that's also part of the show.
That's any friend group.
The show is that we make,
sometimes we come through with the promises,
sometimes we don't.
And sometimes the formulation of the promise is way better
than doing the promise.
People wouldn't have been able to
watch his ass
just smoking all the time.
I'm trying to.
I knew you would. I'm applying for a visa.
I'm talking to military guys right now.
I'm talking to Julio and potentially Donnie
about getting over there.
I'm figuring out alternate ways or all the possible ways.
I don't think the situation in Iran is as bad as the most fucked up people will try and tell you.
Smart what you're doing.
Like, I don't think it's... Yeah, right.
Like, I think the Iranian government's making some...
They're making steps in the right direction.
Smart decisions, yeah.
And I think that they're kind of hearing the protesters.
And I think that a lot of what the negative propaganda
that you're seeing
about how they're treating
the protesters is not true.
It's propaganda.
Yeah.
And it's very transparent.
Right.
And I know the people of Iran
are beautiful people.
And I trust that the government
is also a very welcoming government.
I know they are, in fact,
because I support them, dude.
They're my guys.
Oh, you have a?
Iranian sweatshirt.
They sucked for you.
They won that one game.
Oh, yeah, they did.
No, no, they scored two goals.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They lost 6-2, and I thought I was in it for a minute.
Yeah, and it was so funny because you added a weird chance
where Brazil had just lost yesterday.
Or like 1-1-0.
Score four goals as fast as you possibly could.
Yeah, and then just stop scoring.
Yeah, there it is.
Sad.
Not really sad.
I'm interested in going to Iran.
I'm interested in what they have culturally.
I'm interested in, like, I'm trepidatious about what the propagandists tell me, but I want to go.
I can't believe Brandon's still alive.
Yeah.
Alive, per se.
I mean, I'm not going to win.
I wasn't talking about that.
I was changing the subject.
Your point, yeah.
You have Chick-fil-A every single day
Right
Oh, I don't
I don't have it on weekends
Popeyes, a lot of Popeyes
On Sundays
Yeah, you do
So what else is going on?
Steven, have we talked about your podcast?
No, we haven't, let's talk about it
You literally just walked in right before you got here
So I went to bed at the end of the
Oh, I'm not going to say anything
I fucking hate you so much
That's what you do
You go to bed when you're sleeping
When you're bed
You bet on the same experience Wait, what? For real You did that. That's what you do. You go to bed when you're sleeping. When you're bed... You bet on the same experience.
Wait, what?
For real?
You did that backwards.
That is what you do.
That is what you do.
You go to bed when you're sleeping.
I'm sleeping.
I better go to bed.
Well, no.
You go to bed and then you root for your bets in your sleep.
But did you root for the...
That's not what...
Did you say...
What's up, Shefty?
Get a picture with me?
How'd you say it?
My guy is friends with Shefty.
And I was like, I would never ask this dude to let me have a picture with somebody.
But Shefter was there.
Stop.
You definitely.
I feel like all your pictures with celebrities and people are.
I would never ask this person to help me get a picture.
I feel like I don't have that many.
I guess Shefty's number one.
Yeah, number one.
Look at the points.
Zoom in on the points.
He started the point before I did.
It's like Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel.
Look at that.
Wow, they're really pointing.
Can we superimpose that on the Sistine Chapel?
There's a bend to Shefty's finger.
What a point.
There is a bend.
What I was going to say, Stephen, is I went to bed because I was sick at the end of the third quarter.
And I woke up and I was mad because I wanted to shit on you and say you spent all this money to go down there and watch your fucking terrible team suck ass.
And then it turns out that you won the game.
Yeah.
So I had a –
But I did have Saints plus three and a half, so I don't care.
I had a major personal predicament at the end of the game.
Oh, no.
Let's hear it.
So when I went down –
You were whether to fuck Kelly in Vegas or not?
Jesus.
That wasn't a predicament at all.
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh.
No, absolutely not.
Does she live in Tampa?
She lives in Sarasota.
I love Kelly.
I only thought of that because Jerry once saw a picture of you and Kelly and was like,
Steven, whoa, he's playing.
That's Kelly in Vegas.
She's like one of our coworkers.
She's very good at her job.
He's like, oh, shit, my bad.
It was supposed to be all of money shots going because Megan likes the Saints and Mincy does.
And Mincy's been pushing to go to a Saints-Bucks game for three years now, two years.
And he bailed because they suck.
Oh, coward.
Yeah.
Coward.
I lit him up a little bit in the blog.
Can we, TJ, can you pull up that light up?
Keep going with the story.
I want to see what lit it up means.
Oh. So personal predicament at the end of the game the bucks ravens game i went to end of uh october i got
credentialed and you can do media stuff and it lets you go down on the field for the final five
minutes they had changed a rule after that game and so my pass said like um field level five
minutes but i got down there like, field level five minutes.
But I got down there with, like, just over five minutes left,
and they said that they had changed this, and then I had to wait in a tunnel.
So five minutes left, they're down two scores.
They're down 13 points, and I'm like, all right, well,
I'll just wait here for the end of the game.
And I'm watching it through a window in, like, a club bar, and it's delayed.
So I can see out this little sliver, and I'm all right whatever and they score a touchdown it's like all right well
i haven't seen them do that score two touchdowns in a very long time so i'm not super optimistic
then then they punt the ball and it's like oh shit like i should probably try and go back to
my seats and i was like oh well i don't want to actually jinx it so i'm just going to stay here
and the bucks are coming towards my end zone, so I could see it.
So you're just watching out through a tunnel.
I can see 20% of the field, if that.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Jay, you can't see any of it.
No, so, I mean, I can see the quarterback center exchange,
and then, yeah, I'm basically hearing the fans roar,
and the TV that I'm seeing is in a bar, and it's on like a two-second delay.
So I'm hearing, you know, the crowd roar and all this stuff.
And, yeah, it was pretty brutal.
But we won.
So I was very excited about that.
But I didn't get to be in the crowd because I thought I was going to be, like, literally on the field in that end zone when they were driving, which would have been incredible.
Oh, that would have been incredible.
And you got to catch a pass from Tom Brady.
Yeah.
You like that? That was crazy. And you got to catch a pass from Tom Brady. Yeah. You like that?
That was crazy.
He threw it right to you?
Not right to me, but I made my way into the field.
So you were smart enough to drop the phone quick enough?
Smart enough to drop the phone quick enough.
This is crazy, dude.
Oh, whoa.
Holy shit.
And now, wait, can you pause it again?
Where was that ball?
Let's find the ball.
It was headed. That is the ball. Oh, yeah. No, no, that is that ball? Let's find the ball. It was headed.
That is the ball.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, that is the ball, but not even.
Okay, no, no.
And then.
Oh, and.
Oh, you picked it back up and caught it.
That's insane, dude.
That was sick.
Many people got duped by that.
No one got duped by that.
No, no, nope.
The guy that gave him the Yak coin was like,
dude, was that really Brady throwing the ball
or was it Ryan Griffin?
I have a question about the Yak coin.
Did we just make new ones
and now we have to kiss all those people too?
A thousand more.
A thousand more.
Yeah, I brought this up at the time.
I think that they used that as a,
I don't think we ever agreed to kiss.
No, I don't think so either.
Sales, they made me write a love letter
that was sent out to our mailing list.
Oh, fuck.
And they had to say it was due to the world population hitting 8 billion.
We need to raise the coin.
It needs to be the same percentage always of people that can kiss.
You really kissed the fuck out of him.
Sales people made you say that?
I think if you have one of the secondary coins, you get a kiss on the cheek.
The other one, you get a kiss on the lips.
I guess.
There she is.
I see.
That's one of – I'd imagine she's going to talk about Lenny.
Lenny's here.
All right, Brendan.
All right, so Stephen. Steven is. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-unit. He's saying that those are hot.
Pardon?
Pardon.
So, Steven, it was an incredible night.
Incredible night.
Did you see at the end on the telecast, it's me and Brady in the hall, and I'm giving a fist bump.
And it's just you two.
It's basically just you two in the hall.
There's you two.
Oh, wow. That's pretty sick. It's basically just you two in the hall. There's you two. Oh, wow.
That's pretty sick.
It's other people, Steve.
I love you, Steve.
This is like, I got to get Jerry to.
I don't see a fist.
You said a fist bump?
No, no, no.
Fist pump like the.
You could have done that with anybody coming in, though.
But, I mean, it's a special moment.
Did he see you or what?
Yeah, he just sent you.
That's pretty cool
he was looking right towards me
I don't know if he specifically saw me
and then I got Giovanni Bernard as he came off the field
which was great
I love it
Jerry showed me a video once of the Dolphins-Steelers game
it was like Pickett and Tomlin
talking on the sideline
he's like you see that little yellow dot?
that's me
it was like all the way across the field me and Jerry are cut from the sideline. He's like, you see that little yellow dot? That's me.
It was like all the way across the field.
Me and Jerry are cut from the same cloth in that way.
And that Giovanni Bernard walking off, did you say it?
Of course.
Yeah, TJ, if you want to put that with volume, I hit him with it.
And he acknowledged.
He knows who I am. Okay.
Giovanni Bernard.
He looks excited about it, too.
All right, let's see you light up Mincy.
I want to hear this.
I want to see this.
So this is you lighting him up.
Okay.
Defeated Ben Mincy's kind of favorite NFL team when they're good.
Mincy passed on my offer to join me for a Bucks versus Saints game on Monday Night Football
because he's at the SEC Championship game
two days earlier and also citing the team was terrible
despite them only being two games out of the division lead.
Man, you lit him up.
That was scathing.
I lit him up.
That's vicious.
As far as fandom, that's...
Maybe Mintz didn't want to miss work.
That's vicious.
Yeah, that's true.
Mintzy.
Brandon, Mintz gave you the business, dude.
Holy shit, did he?
When?
On Twitter when you responded, well, all right then.
Oh, yeah.
He ripped out your jugular.
He came at my neck.
Right at you.
Yeah, I said, like, he went to the LSU, the SEC championship game,
and the LSU was losing.
I said, you okay, Mintz?
And he came at me hard.
He said. Actually, yeah, I am okay because I'm getting so much love from
people.
Yeah, wait, pull it up.
It was quite something.
Told me that he's moving down south and I'm going to be stuck in Jersey
freezing my ass off.
He really went after you.
He hates you.
Let's call a spade a spade.
We got to get this in now because he's leaving for his Christmas holiday on December 14th.
The hole?
Yes.
Damn.
Can we do one of these ad reads yet?
No.
Let me do one of them.
Do the Ridge Wallet.
I'd love to.
Ridge Wallet.
Mm-mm-mm.
Ridge Wallet.
Ridge Wallet is an ultra-slim minimalist wallet.
It holds up to 12 cards plus KB room for cash.
There's over 30 colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium.
It's made with RFID blocking technology that protects you from digital pickpockets.
They also have a new key case to help you organize your keys.
It secures anywhere from two to six keys.
Holy shit, I don't even have six keys.
It also organizes your keys in a compact silhouette and fold-out for easy access.
There are six colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium in that as well.
So you can match your keys and your wallet.
And the best offer is at Ridge.com slash Yak,
because you can save up to 40% through December 22nd.
Ridge Wallet.
Get yours today.
You haven't been here a while.
Ridge Wallet's the best.
And I can't stop talking about that.
No, you really can't.
Yeah.
No, you cannot.
I love Ridge Wallet.
And originally they were going to go until December 15th
when Mincy was leaving,
and they agreed to extend it for an entire week.
So it's just mitzvah after mitzvah from the good friends over at Ridge Wallet.
Granted, he'll still be gone when the extension's over.
Right.
Of course, of course.
But it's a little bit extra for you.
Christmas gift maybe?
Hanukkah?
Hanukkah?
Okay, thank you.
Steven, by the way, did you know that we're doing the Stinky Cloud after our Christmas party?
Is that tomorrow?
No, I think we're going to do it next.
No, no, not.
Christmas special.
The Christmas special.
I think next Wednesday is when we should try to tape it if everyone's.
I'm not here.
I have to go to Patrick Beverly.
Patrick to Los Angeles.
Wait, did we say we're going to do it on Friday?
Yeah, we're going to do it Friday.
Can you do Friday?
I can do it on Friday.
Yeah, we're going to do a one-hour yak on Friday and then do the Christmas special.
Afterwards.
Yeah.
I can be here on Friday.
This Friday?
No, next Friday.
The eggnog Christmas special.
Next Friday.
Next Friday.
Yeah, everyone put that in their calendar.
Remind everyone.
We're going to do a Christmas special.
We're going to drink eggnog, and then we're going to do a stinky cloud at the end.
I know what I'm bringing for my stinky cloud.
Okay. It doesn't stink, it's just mean.
Ooh.
What is it?
I have one of those pet eggs that I shave the dead skin
off my feet with, and I'm just going to
dump the powder in there.
Oh!
I have been through far worse with a pet egg.
Oh!
You're going to be inhaling my dead foot skin.
So, pet egg was like an as-seen-on-TV product that you like.
It's basically a cheese grater for the bottom of your foot.
And so, I got one, and I used it.
And what it is, is it's an actual cheese grater, and then it comes apart, and you're supposed to empty it out.
But it's curved, like an supposed to empty it out but it's curved like an egg so
i did it there's a bunch of dead foot skin cells and instead of dumping it over i blew it out
but due to the curved nature of it all of it went back in my face
so he has been through worse with the exactly what you described just his own no he's been
through worse one of the biggest L's I've ever taken.
But mine's my foot.
You had your own foot.
But he's not going to have to inhale it specifically right this face.
But it's not going to be literally in my eyes and nose.
You didn't think that was going to happen.
Didn't think it was going to happen.
You didn't think Steven had a worse pet egg story.
I got a pivot.
I should have known.
Maybe you could orchestrate it getting blown in his face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess, yeah.
Yeah.
Like a fan poured into a fan. Home his face. Yeah. Yeah. I guess, yeah. Yeah.
A fan poured into a fan.
Home Alone style.
Yeah.
The feathers.
Arn Feather.
That would be a good wheel sliver.
Steven, what's the biggest L you've taken at Barstool?
At Barstool?
I wrote a really mean blog about Caleb that I felt bad about instantly.
You still think about it all the time.
I do.
What did you say?
I don't know.
I just took myself too seriously.
What?
I feel like I don't do that anymore.
What did you say?
It was a good teaching moment.
I don't remember.
It was just ripped Mitch. Who was teaching you?
What's that?
Who was teaching you? Maybe, yeah. I don't hold any I was just really mad. Who was teaching you? What's that? Who was teaching you?
Maybe, yeah.
I don't hold any grudges against Caleb.
He said, who was teaching you?
Oh.
Life, man.
Yeah, that's deep.
Yeah.
Best teacher?
Fuck yes.
Best teacher.
Hey, let's see this Mincy tweet.
We also have O's the Mentalist on Thursday.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
It's Thursday. Is that how you say his
name? Yeah. O's?
OZ? Yeah.
He deleted it? Oh. Who muted Mincy?
Oh, fuck. CJ!
Oh, fuck. CJ!
Did you? I did.
Why?
He had to unclick him. It was a muted account.
Oh, you have Mincy muted?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, no. This was a muted account. Oh, you have Mutey muted? Oh, no.
This was just you okay.
Lucky mine isn't okay.
He just, he just, he just.
Hell yeah, I'm okay.
After the amount of love I have felt this weekend, been unbelievable.
Can't wait to reclaim my throne in the south while you freeze your ass off in Jersey this winter.
I didn't know what to say to that.
He just, he just lives in his own world.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
He's the king of it.
That's goals to be honest.
He's got to understand, I didn't take his crown away.
Dave did.
Oh, no.
I had nothing to do with that.
I'm just very interested to see what comes out of Barstool, New Orleans.
A lot of...
I heard he's going to do red beans and rice reviews. I love that guy. Yeah. to New Orleans. Um, a lot of, hmm.
I heard he's gonna do
red beans and rice reviews.
I love that guy.
Yeah.
Snow like John.
Oh, yeah.
Evan Person, awesome guy.
Met him, yeah.
Evan?
He's funny.
He's a fucking great dude.
I heard he can
freestyle too.
He like does it
like consistently.
Handsome as all hell.
Oh, yeah.
He's a grinder.
Yeah.
He's good.
He's a man.
Yeah, he's consistent as fuck.
Or he just makes, he makes good content. This is why he's consistent as fuck or just makes he makes good
content this is why i'm eating mince uh oh man i had that moment with frank on sunday tj because
didn't you have that with uh frank said something about like Rutgers and you're like, I don't fucking give a fuck.
Yeah, because he doesn't he doesn't care.
Right. Frank said like, hey, big cat, I bet on the Bears.
And I was like, don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
I had to suspend Frank.
Yeah.
From what?
From a full stream, Sunday stream.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Had to do it.
He loves those.
He loves them.
But I had to do it
We're gonna
I'm hearing his appeal
Later on this week
Free Frank
We'll see
The appeal will be interesting
Who's representing him
I think himself
Maybe you Rone
I'd be happy to
Okay
He and I have a budding friendship
No budding
Is it still budding
Oh my god
It's been a while
Has it gone all the way there
We're on the
We're on a plateau in sight.
I do have a soft heart, so I probably will accept the appeal,
but I'd like to see it at least first.
Of course.
Make him go through the process.
We'll make our case.
I'll sit down with my client.
Okay.
If it's anything like the Yak appeals,
he'll just keep showing up for four or five weeks and forget about it.
True.
He does love hanging with the fellas watching ball.
I know.
The guy's guy.
He is.
I know.
It's the definition of a dude's dude.
He was like a rescue dog who was in the kennel for so many years just watching games alone.
Yeah.
And he went to a big farm.
Frank might be in heaven.
Oh, my God.
Absolutely.
What if we're just all pawns in his heaven? Oh, there's no chance I'm a big farm. Yeah. Frank might be in heaven. Oh my God. Absolutely. What if we're just all pawns in his heaven?
Oh, there's no chance I'm a main character
in this world.
In his heaven?
Just an ancillary character in Frank's heaven.
I think I don't exist outside.
I don't think I exist.
I only exist when Frank's around.
What do you mean?
Oh, like the Quigs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can see that.
Like a Toy Story situation.
You got to spin the wheel.
Oh, yeah.
I also have two show updates.
Oh, okay.
Do you want the one that's an unboxing or the one that's an announcement?
Let's do both.
Yeah.
Okay.
Chey. Oh, wait. Chey's on the phone. What's Gaz an announcement? Let's do both. Yeah. Okay. Che.
What's Gaz doing here? Oh, tomorrow's firing day.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
That's why he's got his laptop. Company meeting? Yeah. Okay.
Someone's getting fired. Or publicly
shamed. Yeah. One or the other.
Should we spin the wheel on
tomorrow, TJ?
Can we spin the wheel tomorrow and just see who would be fired if there was firing day?
Yeah.
On time and upstairs?
The entire building.
Try not to dox his address.
There's a guy that painted the Owen thing.
Oh.
Wow.
Someone sent me Stella painted.
Look at that.
Wow, that's really good. You need to hold that up more. That's really, really good. Look at this. Oh, wow. That's really good.
You need to hold that up more.
That's really, really good.
Oh, my God.
Look at this one.
This one's even better.
Holy.
Oh, my God.
My face is even better than my dog.
Shout out Nerdy Gala.
Holy shit, that's good.
That is really good.
What is this?
I think that's just a Oregon Trail poster that he edited.
I like that one.
That guy's awesome.
There's not a lot behind it.
Maybe.
There's not a lot behind this.
It could just...
Oh, Jesus.
No.
Totally.
Wow.
You're fucked up, man.
Really captured the essence of Stella.
I like that guy.
These are awesome. up, man. Really captured the essence of Stella. I like that guy. Imagine the painting would probably
increase in value if it were punched through
and then sewn back together. That would look
sick.
This is actually huge because my son
every Friday is showing Tell It
at school and he refuses to bring anything in.
And then finally one week
I was like, why don't you just bring this picture of Stella?
He brought it in and now that's all he wants to bring in.
So now I have a different one.
That's good.
Every week is show and tell.
How many things do these kids have?
Dude, the kids have a lot of shit
but my son just refuses.
He's like, no, I'm not bringing any toys.
He's not a materialist.
People are going to try to steal it.
They probably will.
Yeah, so he brings in Stella.
So now he has a new Stella to bring in.
Huge.
All right.
Maybe I'll have him bring in this too.
This is my clown cigarette dad.
Have him bring that.
My clown cigarette dad.
Oh, fuck.
Shout out Crazy Gallo.
Nerdy Gallo on Twitter.
Nerdy Gallo on Twitter. Follow him. Chris Gallo. Love it Gallo. Nerdy Gallo. Nerdy Gallo. On Twitter. Nerdy Gallo on Twitter.
Follow him.
Chris Gallo.
Love it.
Thank you, man.
Gallo or Callo?
G-A-L-L-O.
G-A-L-L-O.
Joey.
So what's the other one?
The other one is Friday is the last day to get merch guaranteed in time for Christmas
shipping.
I believe our calendars go on sale tomorrow.
Oh, fuck yes.
Do we have one?
I think we'll get one tomorrow if there isn't one still in the office.
I think what we should do is there's 500 of them.
I think we should reveal a month every 50 that are sold.
Oh, I like that.
And we'll show the graphic.
A telethon?
They're unbelievable.
For the photos we took in front of a green screen, our guy Garrett turned them into actual art.
Yeah.
Nice.
Nick showed it to me,
and I love the thought of it being in someone's cubicle
and other people not having context for what the fuck it is.
I love the thought of it just being very bizarre.
Having to explain anything about this show
to people who don't actively consume it
has got to be the most confusing thing.
Yeah.
I laughed out loud on every single page.
My grandma asked when I went home for Thanksgiving
if I was still a painter.
Never was,
but I think that's just what my parents told her
to explain my job.
I had to play along.
MS Painter.
Yeah.
Shit, I can't wait to see that.
Where'd you see it, Keith?
There was a sample.
There was a sample, yeah.
It's got to be somewhere unless somebody took it home.
Was it me?
So, yeah, we should sell those out Friday so that they come in time for Christmas.
Yes.
Or Thursday because Ron and I will be out Friday.
Thursday is us.
Us.
Is he going to do the whole episode?
I don't know how much material he has.
He's going to do 20 minutes and then he can sit in for a little bit and talk afterwards. Okay. But he doesn't have to much material he has. He's going to do 20 minutes,
and then he can sit in for a little bit and talk afterwards.
But it's not the whole show.
Perfect.
Tomorrow, then.
Fuck.
I know how he does it.
You do?
Yeah.
God damn it.
Can you tell me?
No.
Why not?
How do you know?
I figured it out.
I want to know.
I didn't figure it out.
Someone pointed me towards how to say it. I want to know. I didn't figure it out. Someone pointed me towards how to say it.
I want to know.
I tried looking for a while.
Will you tell me?
No.
You won't?
I don't want to know.
Not until after he comes in.
Are you going to sit there unimpressed?
No.
I'm going to play along.
He's got several different tricks.
Several?
Yeah.
I don't know how he does all of them, then.
But I know how he does what he did to us.
Ron, I want to know.
We all kind of...
I don't want...
It will ruin it.
I want to know.
No, I'm not telling you.
This is the last thing I have that gives me childlike wonder.
Does it involve technology?
No.
But I think that...
That makes me happy.
And it is...
Now I'm impressed.
I agree.
It's more impressive than if he was just magic.
Yeah, that's still impressive.
He was still equally impressive.
No, that's not impressive.
You were just born with that.
Yeah.
That's why I'm not impressed with good singers.
Born with it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Play an instrument.
Thanks.
That's talent.
Adele?
Or especially singers who don't play any instrument on stage.
Lucky.
Let's go pay $200 to see this lucky person.
Who are some fuck you?
Dion didn't do shit.
Dion.
Sheeran does the whole shebang.
Yeah, he's like,
He does it all himself.
Playing a washboard.
Oh, that's impressive. Booblade, does he play any piano or is he just crooning? He's a washboard. Oh, that's impressive.
Boo Blade, does he play any piano, or is he just crooning?
He's a piano guy, I think.
He's got to play something.
Groban, he plays the keys.
He tickles them.
Oh.
Tickles the heartstrings.
He's on a commercial all the time,
and every time I watch TV, and I love it.
Groban's a funny-ass dude. I want him to TV and I love it. Groban's a funny ass dude.
I want him to work at Barstool.
You know what's also? Groban and
Kenny G is very funny on Twitter too.
Oh yeah. He's extremely self-aware
and he's very funny. Kenny G is a great
follow. He can circle breathe. I'm jealous of that.
What is that? He can exhale out of his
mouth as he inhales through his nose at the same time.
What? That's impossible.
How do you know it?
Oh, it's like a technique for that musician.
Oh, so he can just keep playing the clarinet?
Play forever.
Huh.
Is it the clarinet?
No.
Kenny G is the saxophone.
I thought he played the clarinet, too.
I'd imagine he does them all.
He plays a lot of things, but he's famous for the sax, right?
No, clarinet.
He's a clarinet originally.
I'm pretty sure he's the clarinet.
No, clarinet, not the saxophone.
Yeah, wait.
Look up Kenny G.
I want to say oboe.
It's black.
That's a clarinet.
Clarinet.
I think it's an oboe.
I think it's an oboe.
You think it's an oboe?
That's a saxophone.
Oh, he's known for the clarinet.
His American saxophone is.
Fuck.
That's what he's known for.
Give me all the pictures.
Kenny G's Christmas album is one of the best.
It's like a go-to for me.
Is that a saxophone or is that a clarinet?
It's a saxophone.
That's a sax.
A type of sax?
That's a weird sax.
Alto sax, maybe.
Remember that Kenny G Valentine's?
Oh, that's why I got confused.
Funny or Die video?
I thought that looks like a clarinet.
It looks like a clarinet.
It's a glockenspiel.
I'm willing to overrule.
He's a clarinetist.
He says under his name.
Saxophonist. He says American saxophone. I was looking at that weird ass littlerule. He's a clarinetist. He says under his name. Saxophonist.
He says American saxophone.
I was looking at that weird ass little sax.
That's a fake ass saxophone.
That's a fake ass sax.
It's not a fake sax.
It's like Steve.
No, sax has got to go like this.
Look at that hair.
That's a clarinet.
But look, you're only looking at one picture.
There's a picture right there.
Search Kenny G in clarinet.
Search Kenny G clarinet.
That came up quick. That came up real quick. When you search Kenny G. Clarin. Search Kenny G clarinet. Wow.
That came up quick.
Yeah.
That came up real fast.
When you search Kenny G.
Clarinet's all over the place.
Oh, it's so good.
It is a soprano saxophone.
No, I'm just reading the first sentence.
On first appearances, it looks like it.
But it says it looks like it.
Oh, it looks like, right.
It looks like a clarinet.
It tricked me. I thought he was clarinet. So not at all. What is the clarinet. It tricked me.
I thought he was clarinet.
So not at all.
What is the clarinet?
I don't know what it is.
Is anyone in a band play a clarinet?
It's a clarinet.
I'm very confused at what a clarinet is.
You have to get the reed.
You got to wet it with your tongue.
Keep the reed wet.
Show me.
Squidward played a clarinet.
Show me a clarinet. TJ, I'd like to learn about the clarinet because clearly I don't know. It's played a clarinet. Show me a clarinet. LBG. LBG, show me a clarinet.
TJ, I'd like to learn about the clarinet because clearly I don't know anything about it.
It's just a long black one.
Right?
Yeah, it's not too black, I guess.
Yeah, that's way longer.
It won't be as long as any other clarinet.
Oh, okay.
So that's a clarinet.
What's a clarinet sound like?
Ooh.
A clarinet.
Yeah.
So a sax is...
And a clarinet's...
It's a tuba.
No, a tuba's...
It's actually a trombone.
Yeah.
Oh, so it's like Peter and the Wolf.
It's like the jock.
Oh, Peter and the Wolf is heavy oboe.
Is it?
Jesus Christ.
What's that guy playing?
What's that guy playing?
Big one.
What's that guy playing behind the clarinet? That's an oboe. That's an oboe. The big standard. Search an oboe. What's that guy playing? What's that guy playing behind the clarinet?
That's an oboe.
Search an oboe.
What the fuck is that?
Dude, I'm telling you, oboe is the best of them all.
It is.
Oboe's the best of them all.
Why in the minority year that I don't know any of these?
I know trumpet, saxophone,
trumpet, saxophone, flute.
Trombone.
Glockenspiel.
This deal.
Trombone, yes.
Did you guys not have to play instruments growing up?
No.
We had recorder.
Recorder and trumpet.
I had to play.
You chose trumpet, though.
Yeah, but I don't think that oboe was not a choice.
Oboe was.
We had recorder in fifth grade, and if you couldn't play it, then they just gave other
people instruments.
It's like, you suck.
You're out.
I lost recorder, and I had to hold the notes for everybody else to play.
The most annoying instrument in the world.
That wasn't an oboe.
Yeah.
It sounds so bad.
I had to shake an aspirin bottle filled with rocks.
Really?
Oh, no.
I'm being told by the nerds in the chat that was a bassoon, not an oboe.
Oh!
Can we see the difference?
See, I'd like to learn.
My face red.
I'm embarrassed.
I didn't even know a bassoon was a...
I think oboes or bassoons have like a loose...
Bassoon versus oboe.
I don't think you know what you're talking about, sir.
I played woodwinds.
I played the alto sax.
You played the alto sax?
That's a question I've been asking.
You weren't speaking up when we were talking about Kenny G.
Well, I mean, he plays saxophone.
That's delightful.
It is delightful.
Sucks.
I don't like that one as much.
I also think they did that right.
Like, blondes play flute, brunettes play clarinet.
Yep.
I think they nailed that.
It should be a fat guy with a trombone.
Yep, fat guy with a trombone.
Dude, that instrument's too small
for how fat he is.
Yeah.
Time to upgrade, brother.
How do you land on oboe adjournment?
Oh, you're a tubist.
You gotta show this guy trombone.
Well, he was playing the French horn.
That's not enough instrument.
Oh, that sucks.
I would not have guessed
that's what a bassoon is.
Look at these four
just talking out.
These guys are just
in the cantina band.
A bassoon is a jazzy oboe.
Should we go up and play our bassoons together?
These boys are in Mos Eisley.
And now we're adding them all together.
Oh.
You can't look cool playing a flute.
See, told you, clarinet, brunette.
That's the oboe. That's the oboe.
That's the oboe?
Jesus Christ. I bet so much
fucking goes on in the orchestras.
You know that's like a clicky ass.
Oh yeah. That's a lot of...
That'd be a tough job because you get no glory
of that. You're just part of a group
of a hundred. Not the gong
man.
You can't fuck up but you also can't get your flowers.
Do you know if they fuck up?
Do people, if they went to
a big time...
What's it called? Orchestra? Concert?
Symphony? Symphony.
Thank you. Would they be like,
yeah, it was good, but that third
saxophonist was off.
What a bad night.
Untrained eye probably couldn't tell, but if youunned. Untrained eye, probably couldn't tell.
But if you're part of the film community,
maybe you could tell.
Yeah.
Like an O-Lyman,
you don't know if he fucked up on that play.
Yeah, that's true.
They have incredible oboe depth, but...
You should have all 22 for symphonies.
I mean, they probably do.
They're probably kicking people out.
I like the thought of the bad boy of the flute section
who smokes and he fucks everyone.
He fucks everyone.
There's no male flautists.
No, it's not allowed.
Okay.
Jethro Tull.
He was a male flautist.
I feel like I would be a 10 if I played the tuba.
Jazz flute.
Was it still flute?
Yeah.
What about the boy that led the children away, or the rats?
Piper.
Oh, St. Patrick, the leprechaun.
Wait, what?
You're thinking of the Pied Piper.
Am I thinking of the Pied Piper?
St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.
I always confuse the Pied Piper with little Jack Horner,
who just had his thumb in a Christmas pie.
Now, which boy put his thumb in the Dutch wall?
The Dutch wall.
Oh, buddy.
You guys don't know what I'm talking about?
The little Dutch boy who saved the town.
I've heard of the little Dutch boy, but I didn't know what he was doing.
Oh, his thumb was like the perfect size.
To fit and save the town from flooding.
Yeah.
Huh.
Sounds like a gay bird.
Hans Brinker.
In the what? Yep. Brinker. In the what?
Yep.
He put his finger in the what?
There he is.
You guys never heard this?
He looks terrified.
Well, yeah.
Well, the town was about to...
He had the perfect thumb.
He put his finger in a dike.
That's what it said.
That's literally what it is.
That's what happened there. Who's literally what it is. That's what happened there.
Who among us hasn't been there?
In a leaking dike.
Wrap it up.
Okay.
God forbid you run into a leaking dike someday.
God forbid a dike's about to ever take out your whole town.
Excuse me, but I think my thumb is the perfect size.
This wayward dyke.
Gotta stop this dyke.
Your thumb's out, boys.
Shit.
We spin the wheel?
No.
Do the other ad?
No.
Also no.
We're chilling.
Add plug a dyke to my wheel.
Find a dyke, plug it.
Oh, man.
I'm glad you're back, man.
I missed you.
What's compliment minute?
I don't know.
Everyone has to compliment.
You just seriously compliment someone else in the room.
Jesus Christ.
Nothing.
Ain't nothing.
These name wheels have been a big bust.
Yeah, they have.
I'm going to make them bigger or something.
Get Edmore.
I think we just had a wheel reset.
We did yesterday.
That's why.
All right.
Yeah, I'm fatigued.
Sorry.
You want to do the manscape, Dad?
I hope no one else.
Are you getting sick?
You feel like you're about to have it?
I feel like, yeah.
You ever get the vibe that, uh-oh, your body's kind of on edge?
That's worse than being sick.
I have that in the back of my head.
I have the slight, and I just feel a little.
I don't know.
It could go either way.
I'll be puking later tonight.
Yeah.
And it was exacerbated during COVID.
Now I feel like.
Yeah.
That feeling.
Yeah.
It's just big time.
Like, oh, a tickle in my throat.
I'm dead.
What could it be?
What could it be now?
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manscape.com slash yak manscape get your jingle balls ready for the holidays who do you guys think
is going to win uh the like who's odds on favorite to win this little tournament that we have for the
world cup i think we're brazil looking really fucking good yesterday zaz at the bottom with Who's odds on favorite to win this little tournament that we have for the World Cup?
I think Brazil looked really fucking good yesterday.
Zaza's at the bottom with Brazil, though.
It's not most goals.
It's just whoever has the win.
It's just whoever wins.
Oh, really?
Most goals punishes second least goals.
So right now, Sass would punish Zaza.
That would make sense.
Wait, most goals punishes second least goals?
Yeah.
Punishes?
Most goals picks a punishment for a React member with second-fewest goals.
I think me and Cater locked in at 13.
Then you go to countries, so Sass has good odds, and Zaha has good odds.
I'm not locked in.
I still got Morocco.
And I do.
And Nick and Big Cat.
I don't know who's going to win this thing.
I took down Spain today.
I took you out, Steven.
Brazil.
England's looking good.
England and France is great.
Don't sleep on Argentina even though they lost.
I feel like people are turning off their brains about Argentina.
Spain 0 for 3 on penalty kicks.
I feel like that's historically bad.
They practice 1,000 of them?
Yeah.
That's way too much in your head.
That has to be the worst ever, right?
They look garbage.
I'm sure it's happened before.
Did you get your jersey?
It hasn't come yet.
Fuck Adidas.
So now they're out.
Fuck Adidas.
Just getting a Spain jersey.
Pepe Che jersey.
Pepe Che is a dope jersey.
Should we sell that
in the Yaks store?
You got a Pepe Che?
I got it customized.
It was supposed to be here
over the weekend.
It has not.
I've been in touch
with the customer service.
Now they're out.
You've been in touch
with what?
Customer service.
You are a big get in touch
with customer service guy.
Well, the FedEx label
was created in November before Thanksgiving. Yougiving bought bootleg didn't you no i bought
legit it's probably a tough time to buy though yeah i'd imagine what with the world cup and all
iran stuff came fucking quick as hell that's yeah that's authentic
they wore that as the jerseys. That's why they suck so bad.
They wore a little Dan sweatshirt.
Sweatshirts on.
Didn't they used to play in long
pants and shit like that in the 1930
World Cup or something like that?
I feel like you're right.
They had really baggy... The refs wore
full suits or some shit like that or they were
all wearing ridiculous shit.
Why did humanity invent the hats
with the little spinners on top?
I saw a homeless man wearing one once.
Really?
Yeah.
I wish that they had really embraced that technology
because I think that they were kind of gearing up
for human helicopters.
Were they?
I thought it was purely aesthetic.
I remember the Inspector Gadget hat.
Oh, yeah.
The handlebars came out.
Yeah.
It just flew around.
Best McDonald's toy ever.
You collected your gadget?
Nugget buddies existed.
I said what I said.
Well, I just don't think that's a bold thing for you to say.
Not at all.
Best McDonald's toy ever.
You bought pieces of Inspector Gadget.
You got a giant Inspector Gadget.
Yeah, but nobody got all the pieces.
I think we're forgetting Beanie Baby Minis.
You did not get all the pieces, and you know you didn't get all the pieces.
I got all the pieces.
Yeah, I'm going to side with Nick here.
That's pretty fucking sick.
I loved it.
If you could get all the pieces, but you would go to McDonald's one day
and get an arm, and the next day get the same arm.
Brandon, the toys were weekly.
It really isn't made enough.
There isn't enough, like, shit brought up about the fact that the Monopoly thing was rigged.
Oh, yeah.
That's so fucked up.
I'm removing the negative connotation around that word.
What?
Rigged.
Rigged.
I only want that to be paused.
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, hell yeah, that was rigged.
Have they done that since we found out it was rigged?
Have they done it again?
No, but it's just like there's so much of my fucking childhood
wasted on trying to get those pieces.
It was still fun to get them, though.
It was, but it was fucking rigged.
It was.
Did you guys watch the Pepsi Jet doc?
No, I need to watch that.
I thought it was really good.
I thought it was horrible, and I turned it off, and it pissed me off.
What was that?
I really liked it.
Explain the Pepsi Jet.
It's very differing views.
Wait, why?
Because I thought this guy was like, I'm smarter than this.
He says, fuck you.
You can't be.
No, fuck that guy.
He thought he was like, no, I didn't like it.
He was a young guy with a dream.
He did not have a dream.
He saw that there was no small print at the bottom of this Pepsi commercial where you could get seven million Pepsi points and get a Harrier jet.
And he was like, oh, this is my ticket to get millions of dollars.
And so he bought a bunch of.
He had this rich friend.
He used to lead hiking expeditions.
And when he was like 21 year old college student and he remembered this rich old guy who he took hiking once and reached out to him and was like
there's this fine print here where i we could buy set like seven million dollars worth of pepsi
points or every 10 cents just got you a pepsi point whether you bought pepsi or not and so he
got him to donate like 70 700 000 they sent a check to peps Pepsi and that was enough to cover the 7 million Pepsi
points and they're like, give us our Harrier jet.
We figured it out. They took a commercial literally.
This is an obvious joke. Was this pretty recently?
It was like
legend for us when we were
in middle school. I remember hearing about it.
So what happened? Did he get the jet?
You gotta watch the Netflix documentary.
Sure not.
I could spoil it right now but at one point
they offer him pepsi offers him one million dollars they're like if you go away we'll give
you your 700 000 back and a million dollars and he doesn't take it oh i guess i'll spoil it he
ruins jokes now he's just a dick if he ruins jokes on he ruins fun 90s commercials i thought it was
a good documentary i really enjoyed it i was rooting for pepsi oh i wasn't i thought it was a good documentary. I really enjoyed it. I was rooting for Pepsi. Oh, I wasn't.
I thought it was fun.
And then Pepsi did a rigged thing in India,
and a bunch of people died in a stampede.
It was crazy.
What?
Yes.
I don't know that.
It gets really into you.
It was fixed.
It wasn't rigged.
It was fixed.
Thank you.
It was fixed.
They did this fixed thing, and yeah.
They were blowing up Pepsi trucks with molotov cocktails over there over
their contest shit it was crazy anyway i thought it was interesting but i didn't know i'd always
heard like the legend of the kid who tried to get the jet but i didn't know it was like a real
thing but anyway i'm gonna watch it you should i thought it was good save your time do very differing reviews
did you guys watch
the end of White Lotus
nah
I haven't started it
I don't even know
what that show is
I finally watched Dahmer
and god damn
was that a chore
yeah
that was one of those
shows that you watch
and you're like
this just sucks
why would you watch
why watch it
I started it
and then I was like
I'm not watching this
this is fucking
like there's nothing steaming about it and then I just like, I'm not watching this. This is fucking terrible.
There's nothing redeeming about it.
And then I just couldn't.
Once you start it, you can't stop it.
What's enjoyable about watching it?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Even if it's well-made, what's enjoyable?
Nothing was enjoyable about it.
It sucked.
I think that there's some things enjoyable about watching.
There's a morbid curiosity.
I don't have that.
You have no morbid curiosity? No morbid curiosity. I don't have that. You have no morbid curiosity?
No morbid curiosity.
I don't want to know about serial killers.
I don't.
You like it?
I, I, I like it.
You just feel like it was, like, laborious.
I did not focus.
I did not focus during it.
You could kind of just, like, keep an eye on it.
Right.
And do some other shit, miss an episode or two, and it didn't change anything because
it was so fucking long.
So long.
Ten episodes.
It should have been a movie.
Or four episodes, maybe.
Yeah.
Everybody go watch the Tommy Walker
video.
That's a watch.
It's only three minutes long.
That's a great idea by Francis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Francis very funny on
Tucker Carlson last night.
He's been crushing it on that.
Did one last night.
Let's see a little bit of the teaser of Tommy Walker
so people go watch the whole thing.
Direct by Quentin Tarantino.
I hear you like knives.
What kind of knives do you like?
Sharp, accurate, and shining knives.
So basically, if a knife is dull, errant, opaque,
you don't want it.
No, I'll still use it to chuck it at stuff,
but I can't guarantee that I'll keep it.
What's your favorite thing to jab?
The grass.
You like to cut the grass or you like to stab the earth?
I like to stab the earth.
Why?
Because it's real fun and it's a way to get anger off your mind.
What do you have to be mad about?
You shouldn't have asked that.
I want to see Brandon.
Brandon is the Glenny Balls role here.
What do you like about wolves?
Dude, I think this series is going to be a hit.
We'll go watch it.
I think this series gives you
conversation vibes, kind of.
I think that people will enjoy this.
Why is it called United States of Kids?
Every kid from every state.
Every kid, every state.
Damn. Yeah, I feel like people will push
their loud kids in front
of him happily.
We might just change Tommy's appearance to represent a certain state.
He'll be New Mexico Tommy next, and he'll be Minnesota Tommy.
Tommy's such a stud.
I love Tommy.
Can you tell him that?
I will.
That mullet is looking incredible.
That was a couple months ago.
Yeah, it's out of control now.
I finally had the conversation with him the other day.
I said, hey, maybe let's think about cutting the mullet.
And he said, no.
Yeah, nice.
He said, I like this.
He derives power from it.
Maybe.
But it's out of control.
Samson, how long is it?
I mean, it's down.
It's a lot further than it is there.
I got to bring him in soon.
Yeah.
Bring him in for a long show.
When we're going to be drunk?
Are you drinking eggnog?
Probably not.
Exactly.
Oh, you're drinking eggnog.
Yeah, you got to.
What's the last thing we drank?
And I got just moonshine.
By the time I got home, that apple pie moonshine or whatever it was?
Yeah, you felt bad by the time you got home.
By 8 o'clock, I was just had a headache.
It ruined us.
Yeah, I mean, that moonshine was literally the bottom shelf of the liquor store.
It tasted good.
KB, will you just have an alcoholic eggnog?
I want you off the wagon so bad.
Me too at this point.
Just not fun?
What have you been doing on the weekends?
I went to a bar, which,
oh my god, that was not worth it.
It is where a lot of people are drinking.
Virtually everyone. Everyone? Not worth it. Yeah. It is where a lot of people are drinking. The NA.
Everyone.
Virtually everyone.
Everyone?
Yeah.
You become hyper aware of how lame it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they have so much fun just doing nothing.
Everyone just having a blast standing.
Just being drunk.
That's awesome.
That is awesome.
Yeah.
And even if the game's on.
See why people do it.
They're not watching the game.
No one's watching the game.
Everyone just standing, having a blast.
How long did you stay there?
45 minutes.
Oh, okay.
Was it people you knew at the bar?
No, it's not a soul.
I went alone.
No way.
Oh, I mean, I believe you.
That would have been legendary.
Go sober alone.
Observe.
A few people.
You really are just Jeffrey Dahmer.
That would be weird.
Yeah.
It'd be weird to be Jeffrey Dahmer.
It'd be really weird.
That would be weird if one of us was a serial killer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If one day one of us just wasn't in and we looked at the news and it was like,
oh yeah, he's a serial killer
It would fuck me up
Yeah
You guys know about the Missouri kid
Who was kidnapped?
No
And
Got free?
No
When?
This happened in like
The early 2000s
I never heard about it
Oh
When did he get free?
This guy was
This kid was kidnapped
For four years
And he went to school
And like played with the neighbors
And everything
And
Did he get a town over something like that yeah geez that's insane well how kidnap was he
he lived with this man why would he tell the teacher why would he tell exactly i guess the
guy threatened him like bad enough or he didn't tell anyone that's nuts damn that seems like an
easy way to get out of it if you're a kid.
Hey, teacher, let me go home with this.
I've got to read more into it because that's
insane.
That was just a very kidnappable kid.
Do you think that if you
kidnap a kid and give them a better lifestyle
to ethical
kidnapping, like
gone baby gone?
Could you steal a dog if you give it a
give it a better life.
I'll have to put an air tag on my son.
You ever see Gone Baby Gone? Yeah.
Remember at the end?
Morgan Freeman? Yeah, Morgan Freeman.
Has Morgan Freeman done something?
No, he will never be cancelled.
Come on.
Can you like date a step-granddaughter?
Yeah, something like that.
I might be a little...
I just always...
I don't know.
I've always, like,
anytime anyone brings up Morgan Freeman,
I'm like, didn't he do something?
This actually shows how broken, like, the world is.
Like, you hear one thing, and you're like...
We'd rather not think about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe. 2018? Inappropriate behavior. world is like you hear one rather not like rather not think about yeah yeah maybe from
us is 2018 inappropriate behavior
well oh it's sexual harassment okay
listen they've ruined it the man played god in the movie movie. I mean, he was in Shawshank.
Yeah.
Shawshank.
Hello, man.
All right.
You have to do a dozen, right?
230, yeah.
How are you going to do?
We're facing a rookie team, so I don't know.
Swamp ass.
Ebo and...
Oh, Ebo's really good.
Who else is on that team?
I think Hubs is on that team.
Chaps.
And Chaps.
So, yeah.
Okay.
Play good defense.
Yeah.
My best.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I got to do some stuff, too.
See everyone tomorrow?
Firing day?
Yeah.
Firing day.
So, are we putting everybody on a wheel?
I think so. Maybe everyone on the second floor. TJ are we putting everybody on a wheel? I think so.
Maybe everyone on the
second floor TJ
can you get on a wheel
and we'll just
spin it and then
just have them come in
and be like listen
if we were going to do this
you would have been fired.
Maybe they're not allowed
to go to the Christmas party.
Yeah.
I mean I feel like
you have the authority
to just say they're fired
and then say it's a joke
in like an hour.
Yeah okay we'll do that.
That works.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'll be funny.
All right cool. What do you say? What do that. That works. That'll be funny. Alright, cool.
What's that face, Steven?
Liabilities.
Why?
Well, I mean, you're going to be on the wheel.
That's fine. So are you.
If you're on the wheel, if your name
comes up, you're actually fired.
No.
But if it doesn't come up,
if it doesn't land on your name, 50 bucks.
How many people are on the wheel?
Hundreds?
It's going to be like, whatever, like 100, whoever on the second floor.
If your name comes up, I'm walking into Erica's office, I'm like, me or Stephen Che.
The reverse Rudy.
I'm like, you pick.
I don't care.
No, what's in that for me? Nothing. Rudy. You pick. I don't care. No.
What's in that for me?
Nothing.
The excitement of we get to watch to see if Stephen Chay is getting fired.
Well, we're all in this then.
If I'm in this, then we're all in this.
Do you think Stephen realizes I just did the thing that he was like, you can't do that?
Yeah.
I don't think he realizes that.
Oh.
I don't understand what's happening.
We were saying
that I'll tell someone
they actually got fired
and you're like,
you can't do that.
And then I literally
just did that to you.
Getting ahead of it.
All right,
so you're fired tomorrow
if you come up.
No.
But you're a team player.
So then I'll be fired.
I hope that doesn't happen.
Fuck it.
Steven always disrespects the wheel, bro.
What the fuck?
I obey the wheel more than anyone.
Dude, you guys are so fucking lame.
Respect the wheel more than anyone?
Yeah.
Hanging wedgie?
Fuck off.
Oh, yeah.
That was an execution issue.
I was in there.
Steven won't get fired.
You guys don't respect the wheel at all
Ron won't go to Iran
I'm going to Iran
I know you are
Who's that guy?
I thought it was Gus Johnson
It's not
It's probably just a guy getting interviewed
Beautiful suit though
Beautiful suit and a good umbrella
I love when a guy has a nice umbrella
It's a Farnsworth Bentley I think
Jesus Christ
He doesn't like Gus Johnson I'm taking a guy has a nice umbrella. It's a Farnsworth Bentley, I think. Jesus Christ, Kate. He doesn't like Gus Johnson.
I'm taking a lot of L's lately.
I'm really struggling over here.
Umbrella?
You love umbrella clarinet players?
Oh, my God.
Just a guy.
Just a sucker for them.
A nice wooden handle is what I'm saying.
That's really a high bar.
You can tell it's a nice...
What are your dislikes in a man?
All right.
That's a show.
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow. It's the act. It's your strong, yak style.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act. Unhappy birthday to Trevor Messiker.