The Yak - Legends are Made in Fart Eliminator: Part 3 | The Yak 4-11-24
Episode Date: April 11, 2024Toot tootYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Yeah, you should save all these later.
Oh, I like that.
Hello, it's the Yak.
Roback.com, promo code Yak.
20% off your first purchase.
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We got a full house.
Willie and Fights are here.
Kate is back.
And this is our first YAK without OJ.
Yeah.
All right, Pete. He was a huge YAK fan.
I heard he had a lot of kiss coins.
Imagine if they went through his computer and he watched the YAK every day.
I thought you were going to say child.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
That would have been crazy.
What would you do if OJ presented you with a kiss coin?
I'd have to kiss him.
Rules are rules, right?
Yeah, I'd have to kiss him.
If OJ watched The Yak, I would convince myself that he didn't kill that woman.
Yeah, oh, instantly.
Yeah, that's all it takes.
These are great days on Twitter when people are being so brave, being like, he was a murderer.
Yeah.
Oh,
okay.
Thanks.
He's like so extreme though.
Like there's no like new jokes to make.
But I saw like Kyle Brandt had a tweet.
It was just like my thoughts on OJ and it was just murderer on a video.
It was like,
okay,
that was quite brave.
He's standing up for everybody who's been silenced.
Yeah. Being excited for OJ. I saw a Bomani Jones at one where it's like, That was quite brave of you. He's standing up for everybody who's been silenced.
Yeah.
Being excited for OJ.
I saw Bomani Jones at one where it's like,
we're about to see what it was like.
You know, the hypothetical is always,
what would Twitter have been like in the OJ?
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, we're about to find out.
I don't think it's going to be like that.
Say what you will about OJ.
He was way better football player than person that's about it unless for some reason horrifically murdering a woman isn't a sin
yeah true but i also love that saying because it's it's you could say like it's wrong anytime
anyone uses it when they're like jj watt as good as he was at football he's a better person like no
i would make him a point oh oh oh oh one percent person like there's like, no. I would make him a.00001% person.
There's no chance.
He'd be canonized as a saint.
He'd have to walk on water.
He was one of the greatest football players.
He's an even better person.
Not true.
He was one of the greatest football players.
Also, how the fuck do you know?
Right.
There's just no way he's a better person than a football player.
That's a great point.
That's great.
Will, you could say that. Oh, yeah. no way he's a better person than a football player. That's a great point. There's a lot of people.
Will, you could say that.
Wait, wait, Will, do you think you are
a better person?
You're a better person than a football player.
Will would have to hold the door
open for you once.
I like that Will's brain caught as soon
as I pointed. He was like, whoa.
I know where this is going.
I was thinking, God, somebody's about to get me.
Will said, bless you after I sneezed.
I was like, yep, there it is.
Will tipped 18%.
Better person.
Yeah, it's never true when anyone ever says that.
You guys might remember him for these stats, but he's such a better guy than he was an athlete.
He's not Mother Teresa.
I did send TJ one.
The one nice thing, well, I shouldn't say nice thing.
One thing about OJ dying is that all these old clips are coming up.
He was wild.
I sent you this one, TJ.
I want you guys to watch it.
Oh, yeah.
You promise that you will not ask me another question about your case? I sent you this one TJ. I want you guys to watch I know yeah
That you will not ask me another question about you again. We won't have to talk about it anymore. Just did you do it?
No, I did
After we finished filming OJ said to me that he had a surprise for me and I genuinely genuinely was surprised. I think it was his idea of a joke.
And this is it.
I didn't see that.
Crazy.
That's insane.
That's crazy.
He could run the ball, though.
He could run the ball.
He could run that rock.
That's crazy.
I wonder what his post-incident body count is.
That's a really good question.
Probably pretty high.
There's a whole theory that it was his son.
Well, sex or actual bodies?
Sexually.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, sexually, yeah.
Who was the first and how quickly the first woman.
I'd venture to guess it's higher than everyone in the minds yeah
yeah i bet he was fucking during the trial oh yeah yeah that's probably how you know but he was in
jail i bet he's fucking during the trial but he didn't go i mean he went to jail what in his 50s
no but he was in jail during the trial oh oh right right right but when he got out
yeah it's clean yeah. You think so?
Yes.
Yeah, I think so.
Dude, there's women that are very into that shit.
Yeah.
I believe that.
There's stories you hear every time somebody says, I saw him in a nightclub, he was surrounded
by four beautiful women.
Yeah.
I mean, he's a good looking guy.
Yeah.
Rich guy.
And then as I, Brandon, you can speak to this better, but as I understand it, that case
was pretty black America versus white America.
And it was celebrated that he was found innocent.
Gotcha.
Yeah, there were some of that.
There were some of that.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
So that's a pretty big pool to pull from for OJ.
I mean, the documentary was awesome.
If no one saw it, the 30 for 30.
But I think he liked white women.
Yeah, no, he did.
And also, he lived 76 years. but also disliked a lot he only killed two people in 76 years and there's something that's not that bad there's something
about being like well he's not gonna kill me right it's like flying after a plane crash it's
like it's not gonna happen yeah they got it out of the system. Yeah.
I could change him.
He did a video saying,
Sam Morrell tweeted,
he did a video saying that he was doing fine
like a couple days ago.
Yeah.
And he was like,
oh, what?
OJ lied?
Got us again.
It's fucked up.
Yeah.
No more OJ. Who would be the biggest death right now trump
that would surpass oj obama or trump yeah it'd have to be trump because he's like the most
polarizing person yeah there would be a lot of so elon tweets diddy would be big right now
diddy would yeah that would now Yeah that would Is OJ
The front page of ESPN right now TJ
Almost certainly
It has to be
We have a long standing bet when Donald Sterling dies
I think he'll be
For a brief moment front page
There it is
He was in naked gun movies
He was very funny
That's how I'll remember him He was in every commercial Back Gun movies, right? He was very funny. He was funny. Yeah.
That's how I'll remember him.
He was in every commercial.
Yeah.
Back in the 80s and 90s.
How many yards do you think you'd give up to OJ?
Prime OJ or dead OJ?
Prime OJ.
How many carries is he getting?
20.
He'd probably average 3.4 yards per game. I mean, I like that.
I like that.
Yeah, you still got it. Yeah. You still got it. Going low on him.4 yards per game. I like that. I like that. Yeah, you still got it.
You still got it.
Going low on him.
Yeah.
No problem.
No problem.
Meet him in the air again.
Yeah.
All right.
So what's up?
What's up, everyone?
Mini golf finale tonight.
I think we're all out of the money.
Sure am.
We all are.
Will, you're out.
I'm out of the money, but there is a nice side bet going on with the four-play guy.
Oh, Steven, you're not out of the money.
Steven.
I'm absolutely not.
Where are you?
Che's up there.
Where are you, Che?
I'm minus 25, so I'm three or four shots back in the lead.
Oh, okay.
Well, no.
You're like 15.
Sorry, sorry.
I'm not in the lead.
In the money.
Yeah.
That's what I care about.
I'm gunning for fourth.
I did exactly what I said I was going to do yesterday, and that was play the best round in the first round and then just slowly dip.
I know, watching the stand leaderboard kind of go,
I'm just in my head, I would put one on my back.
Big Cat was right.
Yep, I was right.
I think I'm three for three now on mini golf tournaments
where I have a leader share the lead on the first round and then fold.
See ya.
Yeah.
Mentally.
Not like mini hand though.
It's such a mental game.
It's like there's a correlation between mini golf skills and ice in your veins Yeah well also if you're good at golf
Like Whitney is good at golf
So I think mentally he's like confident
You play if you putt a lot
Whereas I'm like mentally like every putt I'm about to make
I'm like I'm gonna miss this
If there's just like that much space
I'm like I could easily
Miss this bat.
Yeah, just shooting it all over the place.
It's been fun, though.
I didn't realize I was going to be into it.
And by the time we got to the third hole on the first round, I was like, oh, I'm into this.
It's fun.
It's also tiring.
Oh, we got to do the fart wheel.
Yeah, fart eliminator for today.
Oh, no.
I was hoping to come in here and just rip
one right off the bat and i can't i can't oh oh today's the day yeah what's the fart eliminator
this show doesn't end until we all fart everybody everybody whatever you want if you just had one
in the chamber hey i was gonna bring one tomorrow it went twice but you were talking i know
i think i heard it both times i mean was that a fart was that a fart so i'm gonna try to i'm
gonna try to get another one going there's a nice little yeah this is where i get silent
on the show and i just try to like move did you do one will there are two little ones yeah i think i heard them they were small
um desperation tactics i guess we'll save but i want to get into a dog pile
okay yeah do what what do you mean i think like compression claustrophobia will catalyze
flatulence like a tussle open up the elementary dog pile she wants to all get in like a tussle open up the elementary she wants to all get in like a pile if we have if it comes
down to lay on each other we have a lot of time yeah yeah everyone could just work on it i brought
kate i'd like to request for your fart to not be uh while the camera's on you
no i'm gonna i i owe the people i owe the people i'm gonna like fully spread my cheeks i'll shit myself a little
santino and uh bobby lee they were like doing a live show and this they had throughout this
clip the other day and this this chick was just queefing into the microphone oh what
it's a good one too they had the microphone in front of her and you just hear
have you seen the lady that can blow bubbles what yes she puts
bubbles in there and she can like blow bubbles out of it is it true that when when women fart it can
go up the front yeah oh up the front i think i was just learning that the other day is that true
are you talking about a queen yes and up front yeah but is that
but is that how that happens?
Bro, you've never had a fart go up the front?
Can I explain what happens?
I'm saying, then they recycle.
What do you mean?
It goes up the sides of your balls.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what it does?
Sides of your balls?
Sides of your balls.
Look at me.
No.
Kyle, KB, when you've got a slow-releasing one,
and you feel it kind of go up the front. Wait, can I explain what it is? Oh, Brennan. Brennan when you got a slow-releasing one and you feel it kind of... It goes up the front.
Wait, can I explain what it is?
Oh, Brandon.
Brandon, you gonna fart?
Careful, you might fart in...
Yeah, what if you fart when you pee?
I'm not gonna fart one day.
Piss right here.
Okay.
Wait, pretend your nose is the clitoris.
Can you lean forward a little bit?
This is what it does.
Say my finger's the fart.
Here, look towards me.
That bloop. Oh. Got it does. Save my fingers the fart. Here, look towards me. That bloop. That got your nose.
Bloop. Yeah.
That happened to my boss. It's kind of like
a dog with its head out the window.
What I'm asking is, when you fart,
it goes up the front and then you recycle it.
Oh, it goes in the hole.
It gets gobbled up.
That's like a turducken, right?
Well, then you would queef it.
No, I think that's a twice-baked.
You suck in a twice-baked fart?
Imagine you just recycle one.
Oh, hang on.
It's still there.
Does this fart smell like pussy a little bit?
You'd really have to try.
You got one?
No. Every time somebody's moving yeah it's gotta be everyone you want to make a little
uh maybe maybe steven you can make like a leaderboard or something where we have check marks
just so we can yeah so no one no one's got it yet yeah so no one's got it yet will scored yeah
yeah but i that was it i promise you would heard two little ones. That was Fielder's choice.
We kind of expect a lot out of you.
No doubt.
When I stood up.
We got a lot of pressure on you.
Listen, I'm on record out there.
I love nothing more than farts.
Yeah, that's right.
You've become a fart guy.
Yeah, this show's going to be great for you.
And so, KB, I was like, hey, I loved your well-placed fart with Brandon Walters.
That was a good fart. Great fart. Axe in here? is going to be great for you. I was like, hey, I loved your well-placed fart with Brandon Walters.
That was a good fart. Great fart.
Yeah, we might need some sort of...
I don't know.
Oh, you know what actually we have
that's a guaranteed fart?
It's goldfish.
Goldfish?
Well, this is just me convincing myself.
I'm convinced the air inside the goldfish
is just instant farts. Should we split a box? I'm convinced the air inside the goldfish is just instant farts.
Should we try that?
Should we test that?
You're just eating air.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
I see what you want with the bag.
No, no.
When you eat goldfish, you're eating air.
That's logical.
Yeah, there's air inside of each goldfish.
If you swallow it.
I'm going to need a few.
I just farted.
I didn't get up. That doesn't count by any stretch of the imagination. I'm going to need a few. I just farted. I didn't get up.
That doesn't count by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm just telling you.
Did it speak out or did you know a fart was coming?
I knew it was coming, but I was testing the waters.
TJ, does that mic work?
That's like the area I'm kind of in where it's like,
I should stand up and embarrass myself.
The boom mic?
Yes.
Mike on a mic stand to your right.
You almost push and then you just get like a little crack.
That's the area I'm always in.
I live in that.
Oh, we got a fart mic.
And you got to make a decision.
Do I sit here and continue to build this up?
Yeah.
Are you building something?
Are you a year away from being a year away?
Just get some draft picks.
Get it moving.
You farted in there, didn't you?
Does anybody else have like zero trace of a fart right now?
I have zero.
I have zero.
Okay.
I took a shit right before this.
I'm empty.
I'm empty.
Fully empty.
Does having to shit correlate to having to fart?
Yes.
I think if I didn't shit, I would have already farted.
You're more likely to fart if you have a shit load.
But is that just because the ass is open to get rid of the shit?
I feel like a lot of people have a warning fart, like, right before you poop.
Not me, but.
We should get some.
Hey, I got a funny one that Shane sent the other day.
I forget the dude's name, but he's, like, in his house right now,
and he sent him this audio file.
Hey, dude, real quick.
This is elite. that's a that's a post-pollin awesome it's a dirt bike i'm waiting for an edm drop
oh no that's not possible
oh my god
was it was it old crank anchors or adam sandler the one the track where it was him pissing and Oh my god Was it
Crank Yankers or Adam Sandler
The one the track where it was him
Pissing and farting
That sounds Crank Yankers
Good humor yeah
No no no I'm saying
You're thinking of the ice cream
I was thinking all of humor
And he said good humor
Your mind was on the ice cream Should we order Should I order like a case of soda You just got yourself. I was saying all the humor. Yes. And he said good humor.
Your mind was on the ice cream.
Should we order, should I order like a case of soda?
What's the best?
Yeah, all right, all right.
Like some carbonation.
Soda will do it.
Soda will help us.
Well, we can yak.
I can't.
I have to focus on farting.
Unfortunately. We don't have to.
Uh-oh. Kate? No, no, no. I'm just shifting. I'm shifting don't have to. Uh-oh.
Kate?
No, no, no.
I'm just shifting.
I'm shifting.
I'm sorry.
I'm shifting.
No one's allowed to move.
Just shifting.
Okay.
It did seem like you were taking a fart posture.
No, I know.
People wanted this.
I'm trying.
You were mad when it didn't happen?
People were big mad.
I have my DMs.
They were mad?
Yeah, you fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, you fucked up. yeah yeah you fucked what happened i this hit on friday you're supposed to do it when it happens it's like you can't leave the show till
it happens and we disrespected the wheel we left the show without farting so the i put on the wheel
i was like what we'll do is we'll do a wheel where it's no fart fart fart, because you can't just be like, one day we're going to do it,
because then everyone will come locked and loaded.
Right.
So you need the surprise.
Like, right now I'm sitting here, I don't have anything.
So I'm in trouble.
So we've got to get soda and goldfish.
Yeah.
Soda, goldfish.
I'll tell you, I'm not in trouble.
I'm sitting pretty.
Let's step up to the plate.
I just know it's there.
Get us going. But here's what you can do.
You can start one early and still just joint.
You get another one. I don't know if I'm
quite there yet, but I'm definitively not
in trouble. I'm comfortable
right now.
What else?
What else we got? What do we got on the prep sheet?
Oh, dude, we had Mincy in our golf group yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
And he kept getting lost on the course.
Oh, yeah.
What?
Actually lost?
He couldn't stop going to the wrong hole and was just standing around like an old man not
knowing where he was.
Mm-hmm.
And the holes are very sequential.
It's very you get off that hole and the other hole is right in front of you.
The whole thing's on a basketball court.
Yeah, you can see every single one.
Or just stick with your group.
You just get wandering off. And they are
numbered very clearly. He recooked
a grilled cheese with Chef Donnie.
And somehow, this might have been worse.
I heard it was worse.
Oh, hey, Donnie!
Get us on the board.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Yay.
Yeah.
No, I'll tell you what.
I might cover all of us today.
That was a nice dollop.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little premature.
TJ, is it better?
Yeah.
You had to push a little bit.
I'm afraid mine's going to be feminine.
Honestly, I'm afraid mine's going to be feminine. Honestly, I'm afraid mine's going to be feminine.
TJ, would it be better to use the stick mic?
Because it doesn't have the whole room when you turn it on?
Yeah.
All right, okay, let's do that.
The biggest concern with that mic, I'll tell you, was getting into a squat position.
Because then you, ooh, right?
Really opening that thing up. really open it up you gotta learn how to keep that
butthole contracted
while it's being stretched apart when you're
squatting down
there it is
by the way I should address the fact that I look like I'm
lactating
I'm a spill guy now
it is what it is I I'm a spill guy now.
It is what it is.
I've been a spill guy since the dawn of time.
I spill once a day.
I would have taken you for a spill guy your entire life.
You're a spill-on-yourself guy on your clothing.
I've become one. I never was one.
My reflexes have gone.
I used to be the greatest
ice cream cone
get some Nicky
huge unexpected
huge
I'm a good fuck
I'm proud of you bro
I'm proud of you
that's fucking huge.
Holy shit.
I'm going to need all these clips, by the way.
Text me directly.
That was a good fart.
Yeah.
Good form.
Perfect amount of build up.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Felt good.
Yeah, it felt good.
Because I was worried about you.
No, no.
I just didn't want my ass hole to sound loose.
But didn't yesterday you acknowledge that you had one?
Yeah, my farts oftentimes don't make noise.
But I think that's just like I subconsciously shift.
Yeah.
Give a little pull.
Yeah.
Go on.
I got to get some of my back pocket real quick.
Oh, man.
That was good because I feel like, you were you were someone who struggled last time
yeah for sure i just not not out of embarrassment just uh rising because i couldn't fart
brandon how are you doing farting is such an involuntary activity that you never think about
farting it always you only think about stopping it so now when you're trying to start it it's dominating my
every thought and that was deep yeah that was that was the fuck really
some deep fucking shit that was incredible and the landscape. A wife.
This fart has... You only think about stopping it.
It's like death in a sense.
You're only trying to push it away and now you're trying to welcome it.
But you never think, oh, I should fart right about now.
I'd like to conjure up a fart.
You only play defense against farts.
You never play offense.
Have any of you had a colonoscopy?
Play offense? No. When have you played? Have any of you had a colonoscopy? Play offense?
No.
When have you played?
If you're trying to fuck with your boys?
Not like sitting there like, okay, I'm going to take the next 20 minutes and muster one
up.
But when one's there, you're like, oh, I kind of got one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Select your shot.
Yeah, but your colon passes you the ball.
Right.
And then it says it's your time to shoot, so you shoot.
But you can go in attack.
Right now I'm trying to bring the ball up.
You can go in attack mode once you got it in the chamber.
Yeah, you can huddle up and call a play.
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
It feels like you try to get to where your stomach swallows it back up
and you're like, okay, it's gone.
I don't know.
I love it when we all just shut the fuck up.
If you just move your position a little bit,
I just assume you're getting up.
I might need snacks.
Yeah, I got it.
All right, go grab some snacks.
It's soda coming? It's go grab this go grab some snacks i my i had a sweet tea earlier a big one and that just makes me want to pee i'm
just peeing a lot you're peeing i'm peeing i know if you don't have a fart in the chamber like if
you have to pee before you fart it's kind of hard to push one out because you're gonna start
drizzling you know drizzling is the dribbling drizzling dri because you start drizzling. Drizzling?
Is the dribbling?
Dribbling or drizzling?
Well, drizzling is more than a dribble.
Drizzling is if I were doing it on something.
That's a drizzle.
But you could do it in your pants.
You could drizzle in your pants. I'm thinking like a quick half second stream.
I think a drizzle is the art of dribbling on top of something.
I think it's as cool as...
Oh, like on an ice cream sundae?
Yeah.
You drizzle chocolate sauce on a sundae.
Yeah, that is a drizzle.
You could drizzle or slather even.
Drizzle when you're pushing.
You can slather like on bread.
No, slathering is a wand motion.
Drizzle is kind of...
Dribble, I feel like, is after like a post-P.
Dribble is almost involuntary.
Yeah, Brandon does that every time.
My dribbles are to the point of second pisses. floor here mine too i've never dribbled onto the floor
but i have dribbled large oceanic yeah puddles on my i was actually laying in bed last night
um i had just showered and i got in bed it's probably 10 minutes after my shower the shower
went and a bunch of water came out yeah and i was like, that's like my fucking piss system.
I'll be done, cool, and then.
I'll leave the bathroom and turn right around and just have a second piss.
A full second piss.
I just did that.
It's crazy.
I pissed right before the show, and we're 20 minutes in, I've already pissed.
And I could go piss again.
You're a diabetic.
Yeah.
That actually is like a kidney problem.
Kidneys seem fine.
Well, no.
That's...
My kidneys are fine.
I got enough body parts.
Kidneys aren't getting on the first page of problems.
What's on the first page of problems?
Yeah, I got enough body parts that are due a checkup or a look in.
I haven't been to the doctor since I got this job.
Wait, Brandon's about to say something.
Have you got the finger up the butt yet?
He's about to say something.
My vision.
No.
My whole life, I've been ugly, I've been a little fat,
had some big ears.
We all get that.
Of course.
But I always had perfect vision.
Perfect vision.
Same way.
And about when we were in Vegas for the Super Bowls,
the first time I noticed
I looked down to read something
and it was blurry.
And now everything's blurry.
No.
Can you read that sign over there?
Body armor.
No.
All the way on the other side
of the wall.
AGS Adventure Golf and Sports.
That's pretty good.
Innovative Design
Ultimate Experience.
Oh, you're fine.
Blurry though?
I can't read that.
Oh.
Well, it's still... I mean, you're fine. Blurry though? I can't read that. Oh. Well, that's still...
I mean, you just can't...
His head is too big for these.
Oh, no.
I hate it.
Will, do you need glasses or do you just wear them to be a cool guy?
Both.
I have...
Oh, no.
You're not allowed to answer that.
No.
I wear contacts.
If the answer to the first one is you need glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If the answer to the first one is yes, the second one is no.
But I can also just wear contacts and not wear glasses.
Yeah, but you need glasses.
If I didn't have contacts.
Is your vision bad?
Do you need corrective?
Yeah, you need glasses.
What's the question?
Yes.
Yes.
Both.
Sometimes I'll be like, I. Which is a question. Yes. Yes. Both. Oh, Jesus.
Sometimes I'll be like, I kind of look cute today.
Yeah, yeah.
What's he having?
He's having Cheez-Its.
That's smart.
What'd you say, Bites?
Rigatoni over here.
Your answer made sense.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Both.
Mine's like, what is yours?
You wear contacts.
What's your perspective?
I don't wear contacts i don't know
i've had glasses since like first grade yeah i'm afraid to touch my eyeballs why don't you get uh
lasik i'm afraid of that man they put you under you but literally everybody who says it like to
me i've just been lazy i haven't gotten it but everybody's like it is the greatest there's a
small percent uh risk of like your eyes just constantly being in pain and it feels like they're sandpaper and
there's nothing they could do about it. What percent?
I don't know but I saw it on Twitter.
I'm gonna try
to do contacts. So that's out. I'm gonna try to do contacts this
year. Remember when Frank told us that
the dentist
gave someone AIDS? Yeah.
Like I don't go to the dentist.
The dentist gave me AIDS
I was having sex with him.
That was the Terry Shivo conversation.
Yeah, yeah.
He said, is that that woman that got AIDS from her dentist?
It's funny when people throw out those, like, fear things that are just very suburban mom.
Like, I heard this one time.
STD from a toilet seat.
Yeah, right.
Can't do that
brandon you're gonna get one swallow some air yeah i swallow air every day i breathe
what's going on yeah what are you what are you talking about i mean i'm a mouth breather i
swallow a lot of air brandon you were a 2015 vision guy what isn't that what it was like you
got 2020 2015 is like nine years ago oh my god sorry no go back but hey to that guys who had
better than 2020 they always let you know about it oh they brag like oh you know i thought 2020
was perfection right but you can even get even a little bit better.
More perfect. That's not perfect.
No, I think 2020 is just like really.
I think it's like to get into the Air Force or something.
That's what I heard.
What?
The Barack?
I was going to say barometer.
That was a tough sentence for me all around, start to finish.
What did you say? That was the least confident delivery anybody's ever had in a sentence.
Whenever you send something, like, shaking your head at yourself.
That was the barrage.
He gave up halfway through.
I knew it.
I don't have it here.
All right, so it's normal.
See if you have less than
2020 vision can you be an air force navy pilot you're thinking a little miss sunshine yeah an
air force navy pilot uh air force slash you can't be colorblind right is the thing oh yeah i think
you don't have to have 2020 vision but you can't be colorblind i have awesome again little miss
sunshine you said you have all right i fucking was right i have awesome vision. Again, Little Miss Sunshine is my favorite. You said you have awesome vision. All right. I fucking was right.
I have awesome vision.
Or better.
Whispering.
Yeah.
So I said the barometer.
Wrong word.
But it's the fucking.
Yeah.
2020 is average.
I'm better than 2020.
Where you got to be.
2020 is like the check mark.
2020 means.
What I said while being a mess was all correct.
2015 would mean.
You're like looking up and you're like, 15 feet.
2020 is average?
What's the best?
Because I have that.
Yeah, can you be like 1-1?
No, the best would be like 105 or something.
You see at 100 feet what other people see from 5 feet.
Oh, that's how that works?
I thought each number was each eye.
Yeah, I didn't know what it meant.
Wait, so the first one can be over 20?
I thought it was like...
I think it's like 2020 and then 2015.
2010 up to like 2015, 2030.
Dumb question.
Are there vision competitions?
I would...
If there are vision competitions...
I bet you if you Google it...
I'd win one.
I don't know.
You should just get one going.
Yeah.
Do you have the Yak Vision competition?
Is it 2010?
Yeah, 2010.
He's peeing a lot.
Are you okay?
Minzy versus Clemmer.
I'm just peeing a lot.
We should chat.
He's peeing a lot.
I'm just peeing a lot.
I'm not...
Why is he talking like that?
He's been weird lately, man. Yeah. I'm just going a lot. Why's he talking like that? He's been weird lately, man.
I'm just going to go pay you now.
What's up with him?
We should tell White Sox Dave we're going to do a vision competition and see what he brings.
He would cheat.
No, but I'm saying he would definitely be like, here's my rebuilding vision for the White Sox.
Oh, yeah.
You have to come here and win the vision competition. Or like his vision for or like his vision for america you come with like segregation yeah and we're
like no dave all we wanted to do was to say the alphabet from across
totally he kind of owes us one from the yeah he does report so we can really make him do
whatever anything that sounds well i mean nefarious. You can make him do anything, Steven?
Anything?
Kyle, have you not farted yet?
You're kind of like the fart guy.
Snacks right now.
You're the fart guy, KB?
Yeah.
Is KB a fart guy?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
I thought you were just pooping your pants guy from that one time.
You're a big pooping outside of your pants guy.
Like, just you're a shit guy as well.
You used to be a shit guy.
If you have any of the following diabetes symptoms to your doctor, that's bad.
This is how we caught my high school goalie in hockey had diabetes, and we caught it because
he had to keep getting off the ice during practice. Oh, no. And we were like, we don't have any fucking goalie in hockey had diabetes and we caught it because he had to keep getting off the ice during practice oh no and we were like we don't have any fucking goalie dry skin he's got
wait go back to that because number three though should save him lose weight without trying that's
not yeah that's not he's out on that wait but that is like that was without that that's just
brandon feel very tired.
Very hungry.
Technically, he lost a lot of weight when he was sick that one time,
like somewhat recently in the last year.
Didn't he lose like 15 pounds or something like that?
He might have diabetes.
That the have blurry vision is hanging there pretty dark,
seeing as he just brought it up. Just said it.
Yeah.
We've been saying he's diabetic for a year.
Is there any way we can track him?
Oh, I know he is.
For a medical fact, yeah.
Diagnose him right now.
Wait, now.
Can we get a trick of his blood?
It also, like, he's a self-medicating diabetic
because every day he's like, I need my sweet tea.
Yeah.
And then he feels good again.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
He's a self-medicating diabetic.
Dude, and they have diabetic episodes.
He's flown into a couple weird rages.
Yeah.
Mood swings.
Is there like migraines?
What's a diabetic episode?
What is a diabetes attack?
You get kind of loopy.
Cool Brandon the other day.
That was just drunk.
That was drunk, yeah.
Oh, that's true.
Now he's just, I don't know what he's doing.
He's just pacing with the baseball.
Why does he have a baseball in his hand?
Could be having an episode.
It's a little threatening.
It is.
He's following the PFT.
He's been weird lately.
Yes.
Look at him.
Yeah.
What is he doing?
What is he doing? What is he doing?
He has a cornucopia of disorders.
Yes.
I think he might be nervous for his birthday.
Oh.
Something he got.
He did get weird about that. 45.
45 is a big one, right?
Yeah.
When is it?
Saturday, I think.
Saturday, yeah.
Brandon Walker Day tomorrow?
Brandon, why don't you have a seat?
We found something that we wanted.
We all love you.
We all love you.
We just want to bring to your attention.
Yeah.
No matter what happens, man.
Just come take a seat, man.
Just come take a seat.
Come take a seat.
We brought everyone here.
Come take a seat.
Does everyone have their letters ready?
Yeah. Yeah. Come on. seat. Does everyone have their letters ready? Yeah.
Come on.
This is an insolent situation.
Just know that we're here because we love you.
We're here for you.
TJ, you want to pull it up?
All right.
If you have any of the following diabetes symptoms
see your doctor about getting your blood sugar tested urinate parentheses pee a lot often at
night check are very thirsty check lose weight without trying pass are very hungry check have
blurred god damn it when we pulled it up the blurry vision was like
oh no have blurry vision check have number team fuck feel very tired have very drunk i mean
we need to get you to a doctor.
We do, man.
We love you.
You'd feel so much better.
If she didn't have to go for her back for months,
I don't have to go for this.
Right.
And we realize, too, Brandon,
you might just be self-medicating with sweet tea every day.
Do you feel better when you have it?
Yeah.
I really do.
How do I...
Is there like a written test for diabetes?
I think you just failed it.
Or passed it.
Multiple choices.
What if they do sweet tea insulin flavor?
Like, you know how they used to do different flavors for toothpaste in the dentist?
Yeah, fluoride.
It was never good.
Yeah.
No, it was never.
They're like, oh, we got root beer.
Orange.
And they did have root beer.
You want root beer?
I don't think you guys have ever had root beer before.
This is not it.
Yeah, right.
Oh, we have mint chocolate chip and root beer.
Which one you want?
Bubble gum?
Like, fuck off.
This all sucks.
What's going on in your head
oh no what what do you what'd you say i don't know you're good thank you i don't know just be hey just be real man just talk Just talk about it. The blurry vision kind of fucked up. That's where we got concerned.
Because I've never had a vision.
But it wasn't abrupt.
I noticed it.
It was abrupt when I noticed it in the Super Bowl.
I didn't know it was blurry.
I thought it was blurry.
I was like, am I having trouble reading this?
And my wife gave me her readers, put them on, and then it was perfectly clear.
You could just be aging.
But here's the thing, Brandon.
Everyone does this.
It's the dumbest thing we do as humans
where we go to our doctor and we lie to them.
The one person who's there to try to help you
and they're like, how much do you drink?
Like, a couple.
Or like, yeah, have you gained weight?
No, I'm fine.
If you go and you have it,
you'll probably feel so much better.
I'll call Dr. Ned Miller and I'll see if I have it.
Okay.
But you know what I mean?
Once medicine works.
Oh, here we go.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Grumbling.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh.
That thing was trying to get out.
Oh, grumbling.
That was like a black tarpon.
And then like a bounce.
Oh, no. Fight. And then like a bounce around.
Oh, no.
Fight.
Dude, I told you guys.
I'm sick and comfy.
Yeah, you don't have to go again.
I can do this all day.
Well, we don't want that anymore.
That was like Doug's on the original Far Delimited.
It literally sounded like he had put like a duck inside a burlap sack.
Started to squeeze it to death.
Drowning it.
I almost fainted on the way back to the chair.
So you have diabetes too? Yeah.
We just all do.
Kate, are you close?
Chill, chill, chill.
Come on, KB.
Come on, KB.
Would you want to go together?
No one's ever asked me that before.
That's really nice
oh man 800 calories of snacks for them
have you been counting calories kb no no just intuitively the general ballpark yeah
yeah are the sodas coming yeah let me check i'm trying to swallow this water with
like bunch of air gulps too i just feel gross i'm afraid i'm gonna rip like a what if it's huge
i don't know
franny you got yours? No.
No, my butthole's empty right now.
Oh, no.
I'm afraid you're going to go to fart and piss yourself.
Yeah, that's why I keep getting rid of it.
Yeah.
You're going to have such a depressive fart.
Depressive?
It's like the teacher from Charlie Brown.
I just lost at prices, right?
What was that about?
All right, I'm getting this, TJ.
What are you getting?
We're getting a glucose test for you.
That's not something I need to do.
We'll all test it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That doesn't help.
We're only doing me.
Even if you all do it, we're only really doing me. What's wrong with that? No, we're all test it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't help. We're only doing me. Even if you all do it, we're only really doing me.
What's wrong with that?
No, we're all doing it.
Brandon, your disease affects all of us.
Let's say I have diabetes.
Name one way that affects you.
I got to make sure you're good with the blood sugar.
Name two.
I got to make sure you get your insulin every day.
A third.
We got to check the beeper that you're going to wear.
Oh, you got to wear a beeper. Yeah, you got to wear like a little thing we can get a sponsorship off of you look at wilford brimley you could be like he's dead do you have
diabetes oh yeah perfect for you yeah how'd he die diabetes diabetes get him y'all know he was
he was like when he got famous and he looked old he was like 48. Yes. What? Yeah. Who is he? He was the diabetes guy.
Looks like a walrus.
The guy who said like diabetes.
Yeah.
He was 48.
Maybe not at that time, but he was always famous for being looking like that.
Oh, famous for being.
He was 48 when he got famous.
Yeah.
Like in that top right picture, I think he's definitely 48.
He's 48.
He's 48 what do you mean he's definitely 48 because he looked just like that when he's 48 search
yeah i think he got famous like in the early 80s and he was he looked like that the whole time
it's there's definitely there's a there's definitely a Twitter account called the Wilford Brimley line.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, something like that.
And they just, whenever a celebrity gets older than that, they tweet it out.
Just a feller.
Just a feller.
I'm going to tell Mike to bring him in.
Sodas?
Yeah.
Steve, Mike, what did Mike do the other day that caught you by surprise?
I thought I saw Mike's testicles.
He thought for sure.
Why wouldn't he have?
Why did you think that?
Because he posted a video about the eclipse, and it was the eclipse and then some testicles.
Yeah, he sent that.
That video was so funny. He sent it to me, just sent it to everyone and then he tweeted it he tweeted it
it ended up on a mexican news site what they like put it and they didn't really invent it
did you see the video no no it was just i saw the video picture of the sun for like five seconds
then slowly just a pair of testicles come over oh i i think i have seen literally sent it
to everyone in my in my phone it was a funny video but he said it had to have been mike if
he tweeted it yeah uh biz thought that as well biz text me he's like is this our security guard
i don't think it's an unreasonable assumption yeah i thought so too oh really yeah yeah god
damn it maybe it was, it wasn't?
That would be funny if it was.
And he pawned it off as like, I got sent this.
He just had the world see his balls.
Whose balls are they?
I don't know.
Got to be somebody's.
Got to be.
I don't think I have something going.
No.
No.
Are we three in right now?
Yeah, we got a –
Three people in the –
No, four.
KB.
Well, Will –
I'm going to get –
Yeah, Will needs another.
Yeah, I'm going to get back.
I think more highly of you.
I know.
I almost feel pressure.
Yeah.
Mook, where are you at with your –
I feel ashamed of myself right now.
I just ate pasta and it's still –
It's taking its time to cook up. It's charming. Get there. I can feel it cooking, but – Boys in the booth, how are you at with your- I feel ashamed of myself right now. I just ate pasta, and it's still- It's taking its time to cook up.
It's charming.
Get there.
I can feel it cooking, but-
Boys in the booth, how are we?
Sometimes it feels ready, and then it kind of-
And then it goes away.
Seeps away.
Yeah.
To where it's like, oh, okay.
It's a mental game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I ate a little dessert for lunch, with lunch to help with the speed of the process, so
hopefully I'll have something good coming.
TJ, are you going to be able to?
You don't eat.
Why not?
Most of what I eat is protein-based, though, so I got stinky farts.
Oh, so then you just do yours in your room.
In there, yeah.
I want to see you guys stand up on your chair.
I was trying to squat in the chair before to push something out,
but I didn't want to fall.
All right, yeah, the booth boys can stay in there.
None of these farts have smelled yet.
No.
Look at us.
Look at us.
Our producer, social producer Jack,
he's watching the Yak right now.
He says a lot of diabetic culture appropriation going on.
Why is he diabetic?
Jack's diabetic.
But he has it because he's born with it.
Hey, the good news is when you feel...
Is he accusing me of appropriating his culture?
When you feel low, you get to go just get like candy or something.
So I'm saying medicine is good.
And when you get moody, the boys will be like,
hey, do you need some sugar?
Like, go get a soda.
Go get a candy.
He has the diabetes you're born with, though, right?
I think so, yeah.
Simplex 3.
What's that?
Type 2?
Type 1?
I'm not familiar with that.
Two types.
It is two types.
Big head.
One's curable.
Yeah.
Am I talking on my ass?
One's naturally happens.
And one's because you're fat.
One's fat.
Brandon, which one do you think you have?
Stage five diabetes.
What were you going to say?
If I get three before you get one, you have to do an underwear photo shoot.
Well, then I'm just going to lay down.
With Kyle?
Yeah, we got to do an underwear photo shoot if I get three before you.
All right, let me go.
Once the soda gets here, after the soda.
Like professionally done.
Yeah, okay.
Jack has type one.
Brandon, you have type two.
I don't have it.
We don't know that I have it.
You're diagnosing me with it. You potentially have type 2. I don't have it. We don't know that I have it. You're diagnosing me with it.
You potentially have type 2.
All of those are.
Time out, time out.
We got time out on the floor.
20 second or full minute?
20 second.
Okay.
All of those symptoms could also exist on their own without being part of diabetes.
Okay.
But you have them all.
Yeah, and one just showed up
you got a cling to that
commercial break um i just noticed it it might have shown up before that's not true
you didn't notice that you had i might have had blurry vision before I noticed it. That's a take.
I had blurry vision my whole life.
I just noticed it.
There's no guarantee.
I didn't have blurry vision before.
He's right.
Oh, man.
Yes, what are you looking at your phone?
When you get your sun strokes or whatever it is.
Whoa.
Sun strokes?
The sun.
The solar. Whoa. Sun-stroked? The sun. The solar.
Hey.
I had a hog.
When you get sick in the sun, you get sick in the sun, do your eyes become really, are
you like, ah, my migraines, the sun?
Yes.
All light.
Uh-oh.
But I've had that my whole life.
Can diabetes cause light sensitivity?
Sure can.
But I've had that my whole life.
Maybe even diabetic forever.
Yeah, but it could be you just noticed it earlier than the blurry vision.
It's true.
That happened when I was six.
Diabetic retinopathy.
I don't think any of-
Has it gotten worse, though?
Yeah.
Brandon.
You're running out of timeouts.
That's not a timeout.
Brandon.
None of you are doctors.
Kate just talked to me like she was a doctor. You're running out of timeouts. That's not a timeout. Brandon. None of you are doctors.
Kate just talked to me like she was a doctor.
You saw it.
Counterpoint.
Pretty good at Googling.
I love Googling things, and I think you have diabetes.
Are you mad at us for caring?
I'm going to call.
We have the test strips coming.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to call Dr. Nibbler.
You're going to pee. The test strips are coming today. You're going right back. I'm going to call Dr. Ned Miller. You're going to pee. The test strips are coming today.
You're going to pee.
I'm going in that studio.
Just call him right here on the phone.
Because I don't want, if he's doctoring, I don't want.
Well, no, yeah, if he's doctoring, then just don't.
Do it on your ear first and then put it on speaker.
Dr. Ned Miller?
Yeah, Dr. Ned Miller.
My doctor, my family doctor.
Oh, Mookie, get it done.
Oh!
That was good.
Yay!
Fucking, that was like a...
That one fell out of the air.
That was clumsy.
That was a klutzy-ass fall.
You were fancy with the position.
Made sure to get in position.
Oh, by the way, breaking news.
Shohei's translator has been charged with stealing more than $16 million from Shohei Otani.
Holy fuck.
Damn.
He's probably doctoring.
He's definitely doctoring.
He sent me to a voicemail.
Can you HIPAA a doctor?
Can they only HIPAA you?
No, they can only HIPAA us
because none of us have taken the oath.
It's an oath.
It's like a swear-in type deal.
It's the Hippocratic Oath.
I haven't taken it.
I can't speak for you.
They make you swear on a Bible.
They make you swear on a dead body.
Oh, shit.
That's great.
Here we go.
Soty pops.
I have burps, but not.
Are they going to be warm?
Yeah.
That would be better, I'd imagine.
Brandon's on.
I'm texting with.
No, no.
There's nobody you could be texting.
Texting with my diabetes expert.
I said, in your professional experience, would you say Brandon has diabetes?
He said, I would say no.
If anything, he could be pre-diabetic where fat is beginning to constrict his pancreas
that delivers the natural flow on insulin.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Mike, real quick.
Those weren't your balls, were they?
The mic right there?
Can I be the fifth?
Yeah, he's going to be the fifth.
He knows not to answer that. he knows he knows that
he was the first one to send it to me
they were textbook
classic i mean he sent it to me and then i saw it everywhere after that like it started going
around but like he was the originator
of the eclipse
of the ball the balls the hairy balls
it did look like it looked like an Arizona
sun
I will take one
you try
that was a legit
little diagnosis on huh, Brandon?
Who's your diabetes guy?
I just know I know somebody.
I got cheese balls, too.
I got cheese balls.
It's Jack.
Will, are there any NFL players with diabetes?
Jay Cutler, almost certainly.
Jay Cutler.
Didn't Adam Morrison have it?
Yeah, Adam Morrison had it
Nick Jonas
yeah there's another one
right now that has it
fuck
they gotta stay on top of it too
yeah
no and I
I remember
at all times
Gordon Hayward doesn't have it
does he
no
I remember when
hanging out with Jay
like he would
yeah he'd have to take the shot
and like you could tell
if he was
like his mood
your mood like fades
yeah
wouldn't everybody be
pre-diabetic oh yeah Mark everybody be pre-diabetic oh yeah mark andrews
pre-diabetic yeah yeah not if you're like f oh yeah pat and be on your way but brandon if you're
pre then you should get it checked because then you can stop what's the cheese balls for
parts all right is that gonna help probably yeah okay i don't know why it would hurt i mean the
gold the goldfish theory would definitely work with those.
Kate, don't you consider yourself a preeminent cheeseball catcher?
Yes.
All right.
Well, I am as well.
That was a bad throw.
I'm off my game.
I'm a little slow.
That was a bad throw.
That was on me.
Blamed it on herself, then blamed KB.
Oh!
On me. I need more arc. I need more arc. It's been a was on me. Blamed it on herself, then blamed KB. Oh! I need more arc.
Been a while for me.
I mean, you can make more effort
than that.
Will, did guys in the locker room of
a different background than you
respect you more because your last name was Compton?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I still get that. You come up
to somebody in the culture
Like oh sick last name
Thank you
Sick last name
Sick last name
I know Calvin Harris
Chose his name
Because he thought
It sounded
Racially ambiguous
Calvin
Yeah
But honestly
Honestly now
Like when I hear
Calvin Harris
I always think of white
Yeah
But if you break it down, it actually is rather white.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When feel so close came out, I thought he was a black guy.
Yeah.
That was his intention.
You know what?
I saw his penis.
You saw Calvin Harris' penis?
Someone showed it to me in Las Vegas.
Was it him?
It was a picture of him.
Get back in the race
Some guy who was playing a lot of loud music
Just showed me Calvin Harris' dick
Simmons used to have a
What was it called?
I think it was the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars
Yeah
Reggie Cleveland All-Stars
Because Reggie Cleveland's a white guy
What were the two
Reggie Cleveland
A white guy?
Yeah
Who were the two Packers wide receivers
During like Roger' heyday?
Jordy Nelson.
And?
Randall Cobbs.
Yeah, they should have flipped names.
Jordy's way white.
Jordy's white?
But Randall...
What?
What was that noise?
Wait, what?
Was that you?
I think Kay queefed.
What the fuck, Kay?
Sorry.
Does that count?
I'm trying so hard I shot it up.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I guess because I know them so well.
Who's what?
Randall Cobb's black.
Jordan Nelson's white.
Yeah, I think Cobb, I think.
Corn Cobb?
Yeah.
And I think Corn Cobb white.
Nebraska?
Yeah.
There's no black Connors.
Or Randall.
There's got to be a black Conner.
I've never heard of a black Conner. I don't know. There's black black Connors. There's got to be a black Conner. I've never heard of a black Conner.
There's black Kyles.
You got a
last name Conner.
There might not be.
I don't know if there's a black Conner.
There's black Braxtons.
There's not a black Conner.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
All those look a lot like a famous connor yeah yeah we see uh 12 photos nope
no you're right yeah what oh oh
wait what's his what's his
what is it he and I have the same fucking job. Oh, he's Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Oh.
Wow.
So, no.
Wait.
No, but he's adopted.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, he's an actor, too.
I wonder how he got into that profession.
Yeah, I don't know.
He must be very talented.
But would that count?
That wouldn't count.
That counts.
Wait.
He got adopted, though, so white people named him.
He was not black. White people't count. That counts. Wait. He got adopted though, so. He was not black.
White people named him.
True.
True.
That's a good catch.
Maybe he is.
Never mind.
Oh, he's Floridian.
Oh, Conor Hayward.
Yeah.
Okay.
We got one.
I was locked into that.
I live for shit like that.
Finding the one missing piece.
Grant, how's it going?
It's going all right.
How are you?
What are you looking at?
Why is your phone landscape?
Did you just get some titties?
No.
Titties so big you had to look at them in landscape?
My titties got sent way early this morning.
I don't know what's it.
I must be busy.
Pussy so small you look at it in a portrait
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all business Pete's doing
a little putting.
I don't know.
I mean, Hank penalized me.
Oh, Dan.
I know that's bad for Smitty.
Bad for Smitty.
Hank penalized you, but now at this point, it's too late.
Who cares?
It is too late, but he's just in the building while people are multiply.
Would you have made the cut if you had not gotten penalized?
I would have gotten closer, and who knows?
Who knows if I didn't have that hanging over me.
The answer is no.
I might not have.
What he did was stupid.
What he did was stupid.
And who knows how it would have gotten.
I got off to a plus 10 start through eight holes because I was so rattled.
Yeah.
I recovered.
I recovered.
Are you typically that bad?
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
But I was cheated, and I was treated the wrong way.
But now I guess he's fine with just everybody doing it.
Did you guys?
And everybody did it before and he punished me.
Did you ever see Kirk's meltdown?
Yeah.
I was watching in the hotel and I was just watching in my phone landscape mode in the hotel
and was genuinely awestruck and like mouth open.
Wait, I didn't see it.
I want to see.
He said he was blacked out on the unnamed show. I't want to do that oh wait it came in i want to do
that i'm curious because i probably have diabetes let's all do it i don't want that too real this
one is a blood close oh brand's gonna have to take give blood well no i think I have P-strips, too. I need a P. Figure this out.
I need a P.
What is a precarious-looking situation?
On the eighth hole, he's coming off a bogey at six.
Excuse me, this is the seventh hole.
Oh, boy.
If he doesn't make double.
What?
He's chipping.
He's chipping lefty place chipping lefty.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. He's got to at least land on the other high line.
Oh, boy.
A major moment.
Did you get one?
He's got one.
He can make four.
All right.
He did it.
That's not a bad play.
He's going to have the same putt for four either way.
For four, yeah. That's's not a bad play. He's going to have the same putt for four either way. For four, yeah.
That's kind of a smart play.
What is he doing?
What is he doing?
What is he doing?
What is he doing?
Oh, my God.
Is he quitting?
That was a 15.
To Lachinka?
Come on.
And then afterwards, like two holes later, he's like like that might have been a mistake he went down to minus 13 and then he was he's like at minus 24 right now he'd be
in second back yeah he's still in it though obviously yeah yeah
oh did you guys have that much reading plan today? Yeah. No, I'm not doing that.
14 steps.
Is that the little pricker thing?
I don't know.
Pass.
Step one, wash your hands.
No.
Always ignore that one.
Gather your materials.
That's a pre-step.
If it's a prick thing, let's all do it without cleaning it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's a prick thing let's all do it without cleaning it Yeah Lansing device sounds like we're going to be doing some pricking
Lansing device
Oh yeah
That sounds like we're going to draw blood
Yeah we're about to take all these balls off
Someone had to celebrate it.
Just shifting in my chair.
I think I need some blood, Brandon.
I don't want to do this.
Just a little pass.
A little.
I just need a little tiny bit of blood.
That's all I'm asking for. No blood. This ain't a big deal. Just a little tiny bit of blood. That's all I'm asking for.
No blood.
This ain't a big deal.
Just a little tiny piece of blood.
What's Spider doing?
Spider, can you get some of Brandon's blood real quick?
Open deep.
Huh?
Blood?
Yeah.
You have a blood stain on you, Will?
Huh?
Okay, yeah.
Step six.
Obtain blood drop.
Fight.
From the pasta earlier.
How many blood drops does Brandon need to give?
Top of the blood drop and allow blood to be drawn into the strip.
Nah.
Yeah, we just won.
I just need one.
One blood.
No.
Why?
Hard no. I don't want to do. It's not going to hurt. I just need one. One blood. No. I just need one blood. Why? Hard no.
I don't want to do.
It's not going to hurt.
I don't want to do this here.
We'll go out there.
You feel like you need to be alone with your family?
Do you think?
Love the ones.
I want to do a glucose test for diabetes in front of the Yak audience.
Yes.
Well, you don't think the Yak audience cares about you?
I don't know that it would care about you a lot.
I don't know that it would care about you.
If you're a diabetic, things are going to change around you.
I care.
I bet if we open up the chat right now, they're going to say,
Brandon, we're here for you.
We care about you.
I want you to feel better.
Everybody, we care.
120 in one minute.
We love you, Brandon.
We just met.
I'm talking about the chat
this could be the first ever live diabetes reveal
I doubt that
there's definitely been a reality show
about diabetes
we'll wait till tomorrow
we'll get a couple hats
we'll have a cake
and if it's real cake he doesn't have diabetes
I'm gonna have cake I'm going to have cake.
I'm reading it right now, Brandon.
Family, we like BFW.
We're here.
Family, family, Brandon.
We love you, Brandon.
Do it.
Blood family.
I thought, what do you show about farts?
You got a little cheese on your nose.
You do have cheese on your nose.
I've been staring at it the whole show.
I usually do.
You have cheese on your nose.
Get the cheese on it.
I'm so used to Brandon having cheese somewhere on his face.
All right, you know what?
That was your diabetes test.
Yeah.
A lot of love in the chat right now, Brandon.
Step one, see if the patient has cheese on their nose.
Diabetes is real. Nothing but Brandon. Let's go Brandon. Diabetes.
Nothing but positivity.
He's got it.
Get the test strip and collect a sample of cheese on their nose.
Yup.
I actually do care about you.
I understand that. Brandon, you probably have the pre-diabetes
which I think is extremely common.
Yeah, thank you.
Would that show up on the test thing?
There's 0% chance we can do this test correctly.
Look at all the instructions.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
How did we miss that before?
Yeah, he asked.
Oh, he's got it bad.
I'm in the chat right now.
Oh, man.
It's kind of fun.
I'll do it too, Brandon. Somebody have a fart?
I think I do. I got another.
I'm starting to get in dangerous waters right now.
Y'all made me want to puke.
Get one out, go pee, and then
Brandon, if somebody tests before you, will you do it?
Oh!
Oh!
Did that sneak out?
We need a triple out of you. That was me. That was Mook.
Well, the mic's down there
by your face.
Kyle, put pressure on.
Fart one more time.
I don't think he needs me.
No, but I'm saying like
for the underwear photo shoot.
Yeah, the underwear.
Oh, fuck the underwear photo shoot.
The mic's right there.
You got it.
You got it, BC.
Focus.
I don't know.
Come on.
You got it, BC.
Push.
We might see it.
What did we talk about?
Doing great, sweetie.
Don't forget to breathe.
Here it is.
You can tell he's breathing.
The mic's moving up and down.
I think I need to go pee.
I think I need to go pee.
Today, yeah, it's a tough spot.
You want me to go with you?
I'm going to really, yeah. Come with me. I have a couple strips I want you to pee on. Today, yeah, it's a tough spot. You want me to go with you? I'm going to really, yeah.
Come with me.
I have a couple strips I want you to pee on.
No, no, that's fine.
Is it about giving blood or finding out you're diabetic?
I don't want to find out anything like this.
That's a crazy thing.
All I did was say I had blurry vision.
I already had every other symptom, and they were loud symptoms. Like, we knew that. All I did was say i had blurry vision i already had every other symptom and they were
they were loud symptoms like we knew that all i did was add the blurry vision today
okay look man we're just trying to help you was there any symptoms were there any symptoms i don't
have no no no well involuntary weight loss yeah i don't have that. It's clinging to that. Yeah. Make your campaign that. I do not have that.
I've never once lost weight.
I can't have diabetes.
I'm getting fatter and fatter.
Every day is the heaviest I've ever been.
Are you the heaviest you've ever been today?
No, I've lost a little weight recently.
Really?
But you're trying to.
Yeah, but I'm trying to.
But how?
I've lost about... I've been to yeah but how I've lost about
I've been walking
where
I've been walking here
before
are you stealing Frank's bit
yeah
nobody can walk
I walk here every morning
you have a good ass name
for a series too
yeah
is that why Frank
does hot dogs
oh Frank yeah I don't think he's ever acknowledged
the he never has connection allow me to be frank should be raw dog and it's a randall cobb jordy
nelson situation yeah yeah classic randall cobb beautiful eyes stunning yeah what color are they I could agree how do you guys
they're incredible yeah pull them up it's bright yeah let's just look at it oh they look like Kelly
Oubre's eyes you guys know eyes because I can't tell you anyone's these are these are nuts or
like who is oh buddy what is like Kevin James eyes oh they're brown they're the brown you guys
know that for a fact?
Wow, he does have great eyes.
You weren't lying.
I can't tell you everyone's eyes.
Those are eyes you remember.
Yeah.
Daniel Craig's got eyes you remember.
Alec Baldwin.
That's about it.
Color your eyes, Brando.
Blue.
You're blue.
You got to be blue.
Somebody close their eyes and let us guess what color your eyes are.
Mine.
I don't even know whose voice it is.
Oh, that was Mook.
Mook, yours are red?
What are you?
I don't know.
Red?
Yellow.
So help me God.
Yellow eyes.
Mook has green eyes.
Mook has green eyes.
Yeah, I think they're hazel.
He's a spill guy.
Olive?
Blue.
You have blue eyes?
Those aren't blue.
They're blue.
But do you have the blue?
Mine depends on what color shirt I'm wearing.
If I'm wearing a green shirt, I have green eyes.
If I'm wearing a blue shirt, I have blue.
Mine stay the same, but they're not like big blue.
For 100%.
What color are my eyes right now?
Wait, is that the light?
Yeah, just a shadow.
They're blue. Blue? Okay. I'm a white? Yeah, just a shadow. They're blue.
Blue?
Okay.
I think, right?
Mm-hmm.
Here now, you guys are in the works right now.
They might be green.
Yeah, I think they're like blue-green.
Yeah.
So if I put Dan's sweatshirt on, I got green eyes.
The blue hat, I got blue eyes.
Wow.
Wow.
It's crazy.
I like blue-gray. Gray line or blue gray i like gray like the civil war yeah look at mine oh yeah brandon
i would say you have very blue eyes oh thank you that's a trap
doesn't kate bosworth has like one brown one blue blue? Same with David Bowie. Sure, sure. Bless you.
Oh, God.
I was sitting in a room with Minty the other day, just me and him.
He sneezed.
I said, God bless you.
He didn't even acknowledge me.
Wow.
This is crazy.
Just the two of us sitting on the couch.
Wow.
Did either of his eyes see you?
Ouch.
I would say.
I would say.
Honestly, maybe not.
I don't know.
It was upstairs.
Who's like the mincey of any other realm of the world?
No.
There's none.
There's classrooms full of them.
Oh, man.
It's working.
I see it.
I love it.
Let's change the subject.
Mincy's hosting the next comedy night.
He is?
Oh, hell yes.
May 16th.
He saw Brandon do it, and he was like, I could do it?
Oh, yeah.
He said that to people.
No, he said that mid-show.
What?
He said that to people that night. He was like, oh, I got while you were delivering.
Oh, that's great.
That's the perfect story.
He might have an hour.
Yeah, I was going to say, if Mincy's hosting, no one else is.
No, it's doing a show.
I hope he does as long as he wants.
The whole show.
When is it?
May 16th.
All right.
I mean, I should just sit on one side of the stage with a computer open,
not really paying attention.
He'll have more than an hour.
Oh yeah.
You just need to be on stage.
No,
let's get talking to me behind him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tickets aren't on sale yet.
They will be soon.
Nate.
Okay.
You ready?
No,
but I'm getting ready.
You mean to crack your back? It's starting to stir it's starting i'm gonna have to go on all fours in a minute i got nothing i will i tried to uh
and like breathe through my asshole to get mine going you know you can kind of yeah i got a friend
who could do that and he can breathe through he can like suck it up and then fart on command
i just tried to like just p, just try to catch something, yeah.
Is it possible to burp someone but fart someone?
We did that last time.
Oh, Brandon.
Holy shit.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, here he goes.
What if he did bare ass?
I thought he was pulling his pants down.
Shh, shh.
Oh!
Solid, solid.
Great job, dude.
Great work.
Great work, great work.
I'm going to say best fart of the match.
That wasn't a diabetic fart.
That was solid, yeah.
Squeaky.
You can fart babies.
You get their legs going. You get them going. You get the gas. Oh, I think Brandon stinks. Yeah, mine yeah. Squeaky. You can fart babies. You get their legs going.
You get them going.
You get the gas.
Oh, I think Brandon stinks.
Yeah, mine stinks.
Yours stinks.
First stinky fart.
Oh, that's odorous.
First stinky fart.
Yeah.
There's layers to it.
That's why I didn't go over there, because I didn't want to stir it.
How's the boot doing?
Fartless.
No, not good.
Coming soon.
I got to poop. fartless no not good coming soon I gotta poop
I'm proud of you Brandon
thank you
pressure off
we're waiting
I know
I have to kind of pee now
yeah
I'm in that gray area
yeah
and you gotta clench
while you pee
you don't want to waste one
yeah did you pee yeah
didn't help you hold it in yeah i clenched because i was gonna pee my pants down here
yeah i might be pushing so hard i was gonna pee my pants you peeing or trying to fart
is that is that actual breaking news will that you just quote tweeted maybe earlier in the day?
Encore!
A full set!
A full set!
Great job, Will.
I'll tell you what,'re gonna have a tough look
From that camera
Cause bro
You're just squatting
You can't see the base
Of the microphone
Yeah
No one was watching the TV
Oh it looks like
He's riding a fucking
Big dildo
A big dildo
Yeah
Riding the biggest dildo
That's what it's gonna look like Is Will riding a giant dildo, yeah. Riding the biggest dildo. That's what it's going to look like.
Is Will riding a giant dildo?
Oh, yeah.
To the nth degree.
Stuff.
But was that real?
You had a quote tweet like an hour ago.
Oh, I don't know.
That's why I asked.
Oh, all right.
That's why I asked.
Yeah.
Tell us, I guess. All's why I asked. Oh, all right. That's why I asked. Yeah. Tell us, I guess.
All right.
Here we go.
There's nothing I can comment on.
You're the one that goes down.
I know.
Just let me be.
All right.
We'll keep yakking.
We'll keep yakking as he bends over in front of us.
Hmm.
Well, here we go
You got it
Was that it?
I thought so too
Dan's a little shy boy
Just focus
The squat actually helps
Oh
That's a worst case scenario
That's fucking precious
What the fuck was that?
That was a Barry Bonds bunt
It smells too It smells too? Oh, that was so bad. That was a Barry Bonds bunt.
It smells, too.
It smells, too?
Oh, man.
It might be just Brandon or Wills.
It might still be me.
Yeah.
Oh, that was pathetic.
I'm disappointed in myself.
That was cute.
Is the booth going to hold us up?
Wait, who's left?
The booth and thing. I got got nothing i'm wearing mom jeans that doesn't it holds it splits your middle is it gonna hurt your back okay have you
ever done it on the act no no no i called a called in are you comfortable doing you can do a hitter
again yes you sure i think if i
i feel like there's a line of hotness for women where like i like to think i'm right under it
uh where it's okay that i fart like nobody's like oh no okay i'm kate's ruined for me
like you know what i mean like we could spin the wheel of every employee and have
have them come do it yeah we can get um okay someone take the part
and somebody take yeah yeah someone's a champion but i don't want you to be able to like pick
no okay because some people yes spin it okay and that person they have to come far and then
or someone has to do via phone forgot your hug yeah yes you can phone a fart too okay i can find a part
so that was so bad so you got it out though i know but like i'm people have a thought of me
yeah well and i've you have this delivered i've delivered every time under big moments i delivered
yesterday unbelievable fart yesterday and it's just that's that's why i did my second fart and
i regret it.
Yeah.
I was like, I want to give a better showing.
And then I got up there and I didn't give a great show.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you what, I farted about five times since then, but I've been scared to grab the mic again.
Did you say, yep?
I've been ripping ass.
That's the smell.
All right, spin the wheel.
The big wheel.
All right, so there's got to be someone here.
What's this?
Every employee.
We're going to get a...
They got to come in and fart?
Cody Lentz is not here.
Not here.
There's Katie.
All right, go ahead.
They got to come in and fart?
Yeah.
Lanzer would have ripped to fly him in to fart.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, wow.
Oh, geez.
Same spot.
Greer is here.
Do we have a Chicago boy yet?
Greer's got to fart on deck a lot.
God's done.
Oh.
Oh, Fasoli would be great.
I'm trying.
Damn it.
Wheel is teasing us.
There's a lot of people here today.
No way.
And Ebo. He's here. All right. Let's And Ebo.
He's here.
All right.
Let's get Ebo in here.
I'll tell him.
I'll text him.
He's here for sure?
Yeah.
Brandon, you think he's got it?
I think Ebo can.
I think he can fart.
I can't tell if I think he has it or not. I don't know if he's going to be comfortable doing it. I think he can fart. I can't tell if I think he has it or not.
I don't know if he's going to be comfortable doing it.
He's family, though.
He's down.
He's down.
Oh, wait.
We got movement.
You went home?
What?
Fuck!
I got gunshot.
I got gunshot.
Fuck!
That sounded like an important call from Steve.
No, I think he's probably called Evo.
Oh, okay.
Perhaps I'm wrong.
Evo's got a big day tomorrow, so he might have gone home.
Evo went home, but he said he'll be here in five minutes.
Oh.
Like he's coming specifically for this
he i don't think he knows what it is i just told him to come back
i mean we could can you fart all right you can go back home
big cat you're down in the dumps huh pretty disappointed myself
pretty disappointed myself i i mean i have a chance for redemption but i i don't know if that's Big Cat, you're down in the dumps, huh? Pretty disappointed in myself. Pretty disappointed in myself.
I mean, I have a chance for redemption, but I don't know if that's even...
What if he just did it again?
Yeah, right.
Like, if it's the same thing, then it's just like, this is what he is now?
Now, I've crossed the line.
You've got to get back on the horse.
We know who you are.
You know that.
I hope my reputation has been solidified, but still.
I spent an hour trying to fart, and now I'm actively trying to not fart.
Your best day is coming, honey.
Yeah.
Cut it out.
Yeah.
There he is.
You want me to?
Squats over here.
Yeah.
Do some squats.
Stretch them out, Will.
Will, open.
Get the little motorcycle going?
Yeah.
Hey, that would be funny.
Yeah, lay down in the middle. Just get you going like a kid? Yeah. get the little motorcycle going? Hey, that would be funny.
Yeah, lay down in the middle.
Just get you going like a kid?
Yeah.
You want to try it?
You want me to gut wrench you?
What's a gut wrench?
Freestyle move.
Yeah, this will work.
Kind of a splayed one.
Let me splay you. Splay.
What the fuck? Oh, wait.
There you go.
Turns out the little legs make it easier, huh?
Yeah.
My cousin's in the airport.
He says he's got to fart.
Oh, yeah.
Throw in a fart.
Let me see. Oh, wait. Phone a fart. Let me see.
Oh, wait.
Hello?
Hey, do you have a fart?
Whoa.
We got a chaos.
How fart?
He's rubbing the mic on his face.
Okay, hold on. The fart mic?
Hey.
Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet.
Phone a fart.
Hold on.
This is my cousin.
Uh-oh, wait.
I'm going to introduce himself.
Wait, where is he?
Oh, my God.
My phone's going crazy.
This is very important. Oh, no, Kate important oh no kate important call of his life she's calling in a fart i'm calling in a
fart he's in the airport i guess okay you're live right now you're at the airport yeah atlanta
atlanta airport okay give me your best.
You get it?
No, unfortunately.
No, shit, I'm sorry.
What?
It didn't come through.
It's too loud.
It's on my phone right next to me.
Okay, thank you for trying.
Bye.
Oh, what a shame.
No, he said he had one.
I'm going through my whole rolodex
texting people
I'm like does anyone
have to fart right now
wait what happened
to Ebo
spin the wheel again
if Ebo can't
well Ebo's coming right
yeah
oh he's coming
he's coming back
to the office
oh he doesn't have
to come back
to the office
I didn't tell him
why he was calling
oh my god
Titus also wanted
to be a part of it
he said if I'm on a beach
I'll just FaceTime
me and do it
but I'm scared he's on a plane right now.
No, he left yesterday, I thought.
You're scared.
Is today yesterday?
Yes.
No, yesterday he left today.
No, yesterday he left.
No, today he left.
No, yesterday he said he was leaving today.
No, yesterday he said he was leaving yesterday.
Today he's left yesterday.
Yesterday he was saying he's leaving today.
So if he said that yesterday, that meant yesterday.
No, that meant tomorrow. No, that meant tomorrow.
Yesterday is yesterday.
If he said he was leaving today, yesterday, he left yesterday.
No, but he was saying he was leaving tomorrow, yesterday.
Then he would say I'm leaving tomorrow, yesterday.
That's when he...
I'll just FaceTime Mark Titus.
I'm doing it right now.
Okay, well, sorry.
Well, because I think you got confused.
No, I think he left today.
He's probably on a plane.
Do they have cell phones in Turks and Caicos?
My cousin's so upset.
He said he like sharted on his phone.
His white dress shirt.
You guys didn't hear it?
Well, let's replay it.
Maybe we...
No.
I thought it sounded like a door closing.
Yeah, it sounded like...
I thought he was going into a bathroom for it.
It sounded like...
Yeah, it was too loud.
Ugh.
Maybe he left today.
Yeah, yesterday he said he was leaving today.
That would be...
I'm not farting.
No, yesterday he said he was leaving tomorrow, which is today.
Okay, now it makes sense. Right, that's what I've been saying all the time. You kept on saying yesterday he said he was leaving tomorrow, which is today. Okay, now it makes sense.
Right, that's what I've been saying all the time.
You kept on saying yesterday he said he was leaving today.
You're hung up on yesterday, and today is today.
I don't know why you're hung up on it.
Hmm.
What are you doing?
Oh, she thinks she's got it.
She's got a fart face.
What is that?
Hate.
I do.
Can I go behind the TV?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
You can do audio only.
Yeah, I said do audio only. Gentlemen. See ya. We'll be watching. Yeah can do audio only. I said do audio only.
Gentlemen. See ya.
We'll be watching. I'm not going to.
You want none of us to look at you?
Everyone close your eyes. We gotta know if it's
real. Yeah, right.
We'll know.
We'll know.
Wait. Okay.
I'm afraid I'm going to pee. Hold on.
I'm afraid it's going to be bad.
No.
Oh, no.
Everyone be quiet.
I'm going to piss myself.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, and it fucking reeks.
Oh!
Oh, and it fucking reeks.
Oh, my God.
I like that she went duck behind the TV like she was going to the bushes.
Oh, tremendous work.
Oh, I'm so relieved.
Fantastic.
Wow.
All right, so now it's just the booth.
Just the booth.
The booth is holding us up.
Do they just need one or do all of them? All of them.
Oh.
I know you got one.
He's got it.
It's brewing, but it's not there, man.
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
You need one of these sodas?
I'm working on it.
I've thrown dessert in my stomach.
I've thrown fries. Now I'm throwing a little high noon action.
I'm trying it all, man.
Oh.
No.
Best is when you get
when you get home, Will.
You just play this whole episode
for your kid.
Oh, yeah.
We watched my fart yesterday.
Maybe 25.
I'll have to bookmark the clip.
I'm so disappointed in myself.
You'll still want up.
I don't know, dude.
Maybe you had your last good fart.
Oh, my God.
Don't say that.
I would never wish that on anyone.
I don't know.
Old men can fucking fart.
My dad's at the age where he doesn't know when it's coming,
so he farts walks, you know?
He just starts walking.
He's like, brr, brr, brr, brr.
My grandfather used to live with us when I was 15,
and one time he farted walking down the hall.
I thought he was talking to me.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
My dad, every-
We don't need Ebo now, right?
Every fart surprises him. He to eat bone now, right? Every fart, like, surprises him.
Like, he'll fart and go, what?
Dad's ever...
My dad, because he's taller,
would used to just save him for the stairs
when I was walking behind him.
Oh, yeah.
Classic dad move.
Just fart right in your face.
Followed with their belly laugh.
Yeah, yeah. Just knowing they got you. Every single time. fart right in your face. Followed with their belly laugh.
Just knowing they got you.
No. Oh, we don't need you.
Go ahead.
Yeah. Hold on.
That sounded weird. Come stand in the middle. Do you need to fart? No.
Can you?
Not right now, no. You could squeak.
You could probably push.
Just
one little fart.
If you had asked me last week, I would have been on.
Last week?
I didn't even fart last week.
That makes sense.
If you had asked me last week.
That's on us.
Yeah, I don't know. Last week would have been a better time.
That was a good fart week.
I can't know. Last week would have been a better time. That was a good fart week. Yeah. I can't help anybody.
Okay.
All right, sorry guys.
All right, have fun in Buffalo.
Go back.
Guys in the booth, you guys could spin the wheel if you need a pinch hitter.
Oh, Zaza.
Zaza.
Zaza.
Zaza.
Zaza.
Zaza.
It's like a real emergency.
I don't think the mic's close enough, is it?
Fuck!
Again!
God damn it!
Che, are you going to try it all?
Yeah, Che, what's up?
Oh, God damn it.
I'm not there.
I was close when Big Cat was going to go.
It's dissipated.
I'm trying to work it back.
CJ?
I'm worried about pooping.
You guys can spin a wheel if you need to
someone can come in and pinch hit
phone a fart or no
phone a fart or
I think pinch hit is the way to go
but if they can't do it it's back on you
quigs
yeah
get quigs in here he's got a fart
He's right there
Oh he's farting right now
Quigs
Yeah I say this respectfully Quigs you look at him and that's a good part
Clumber
Quigs
Quigs
Quigs
Quigs
Quigs
Quigs
Quigs
Yes
Here we go
He makes the noise with his mouth.
I don't know what his fart coming out of his ass would sound like.
Even though the wheel hasn't come up.
Clumber gets air when he farts.
I don't know.
Yeah, I would like one.
Quigs.
Hey, buddy.
Could you fart for us, please?
Yeah.
I don't think I have one.
Give it a shot.
Just give it a shot.
Where am I into that?
Mike on the floor here.
Mike in the center.
I don't think I have one.
Stick Mike in the center.
Right there.
Oh, yeah.
Give a deep squat and just see what happens.
I got nothing.
Just.
Got that for?
Yeah, I got nothing.
I heard you trying to push into the mic.
Yeah. There's more into the mic there's more
poop push
alright
somebody wasted theirs
I mean it's kind of bullshit the booth is making us
do this
we're trying
the studio came through no problem
go big cat all of us before one We're trying. The studio came through, no problem. Go, Big Cat.
All of us before one.
Ooh.
Well, you're at a bad angle.
That sometimes is helpful.
No.
No, stop.
No.
He's down 0-2 in the bottom of the ninth right now.
You got to hang up your asshole, man.
Pathetic.
Oh, that doesn't smell good.
I wonder why.
Don't.
Don't sniff my fart.
Kyle, you're sniffing, man.
Get out of here.
Don't sniff my fart.
That's not for you.
That is crazy to think.
We all smelled Brandon's farts.
We were smelling the inside of his butthole.
My diabetic butthole.
Then it's in our buddies.
You have a diabetic ass?
Oh, what if we got one of those dogs that can sniff it out?
Yeah, you got a fart?
Oh, let's go.
Oh, there we go, Jerry.
No, no, no. Mic in the middle.
Right there, right there.
Whoa.
What?
Are you about to fuck?
Whoa.
You need me to hold the mic for you?
Just stretch it out.
Oh.
Oh, that was, that was that was.
All right.
That's not like a cowboy spitting tobacco.
Can we add like a ding after it?
All right. So who does that count for?
That one smelled.
Yeah.
We're all trying to get it out right now, so let's just focus on...
Well, I'm sure one of us is going to get it in the next couple minutes.
Are any of you trying to eat sodas or anything?
Yes, we've all drank sodas.
Everything Stephen Jay says sounds so analytical, so talking about
farts is so funny.
Yes, yes.
I was very gassy last night
when I was mic'd up for mini golf.
Is it true you didn't believe OJ was dead until Schaefer tweeted it?
I didn't know why people were
tweeting about OJ.
I messaged Greer about it.
What were they
tweeting?
What were the tweets entailing?
I don't know.
Everyone was talking about, like,
Joey Langone texted me something about OJ,
and I was like, what the fuck's going on with OJ?
And then I saw on Twitter a bunch of people
talking about OJ, but I didn't see anyone...
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Maxine Carter! Now I gotta piss again
because I drank so much fucking Cups.
Do I have diabetes?
How's your vision?
Blurred?
I mean, a lot of those symptoms
could be present in a lot of us.
Huh?
What?
Do I have any cheese on my nose?
No, you don't have any cheese on your nose.
So you're good.
Yeah.
Yeah, how embarrassing.
I know we're trying.
Trying?
We all tried and we all farted.
I just don't know how we all got it in here.
Is it a fartier air in here?
Is it the company we keep?
Che, come sit in here.
Maybe it's like periods.
Maybe our farts are sinking.
He's actually coming in here.
Moon sisters.
He says he's trying, but it's so unconvincing.
He's not trying.
No, we're good. We're unconvincing. He's not trying.
No, we're good. We're good, Jerry.
Give us another one. Come fart again.
I wouldn't mind an open call if anyone in the office
right now has to fart. Come hit the mic.
Imagine what a Miss Peaches
fart would do.
Mega viral.
I don't think she does. You think Mitzi can fart?
Is this an asshole? No.
It just disappears.
Jay.
What are you doing?
Mincy would fart wrong
somehow.
He'd cum on accident.
Oh man.
Oh shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Are you brave?
Yeah.
Jay looks like he converted.
Mecca is exactly that way.
Jay, get in the middle and do it.
Is this how Asian people fart?
They only use the corners?
That's not like a gong.
What are you doing back there?
Che, get in the middle.
Che, you've been standing the whole...
Eid was yesterday, Che.
There you go.
The first ever real human laughter had to be farts, probably.
Mm-hmm.
What's up, Steven?
How you doing?
Good, how you doing?
Kind of focused on one thing right now.
Get in the middle here.
You're doing the middle there?
Do your routine.
I don't know if it's going to come instantly.
It might take a couple minutes. Are you nervous? He's nervous. I'm not really nervous about your routine. I don't know. It's going to come instantly. It might take a couple minutes.
Are you nervous?
He's nervous.
I'm not really nervous about farting.
I've farted on this before.
I'll just have to fart again in an hour.
Tell you what, Will.
As newcomers, I'm glad we both got out pretty early because I would have had a lot of nerves.
Same.
Will, that fourth fart.
Pressure was on?
Yeah.
Guys, what the fuck is he doing?
I have no idea.
He's getting limber.
You only need one body part to fart.
It's the lack of a body part.
I was going to say, would you call a butthole a body part?
No.
I wouldn't think so either.
A butthole is 100% a body part.
No, a butthole is nothing. No, the spokes are. A butththole a body part? No. I wouldn't think so either. A butthole is 100% a body part. No, a butthole is nothing.
No, the spokes are.
A butthole is a body part.
Is a mouth a body part?
Good question.
I don't know.
Yes.
But the mouth hole isn't a body part.
Yeah, it's more lips.
I might have a damn good one.
I'll see.
Go fart in the seat.
Take it from him.
Take it.
Steal.
Yoink.
Yoink.
Yeah, dude. You sit on it too long. Nopeal. Yoink. Yoink. Yeah, dude.
You sit on it too long. Nope, I do his fart.
Trick shot.
That was a dude perfect fart.
360 no.
He trick shot. he trickshot marty mush is showing two very corporate guys
the office right now and i love that they're about to look in here and
we're just trying to fart into mike
come on come on looking here and we're just trying to fart into Mike.
Come on, Shay.
Here they come.
Come on, Shay.
Come on, Shay.
Hey, you guys got to fart.
Oh, the guy in the leather jacket has a fart face.
He's looking at me with a fart face.
Yeah, he is. He's with a fart face Yeah he is
He's got a fart right
He's got a fart
You don't wear a leather jacket and not have farts on it
They go hand in hand
That guy's like the green cloud fart
It is
You see leather jacket you think fart
Oh you missed the trick shot fart Oh Kyle trick shotted It is. You see leather jacket, you think fart. Goddamn.
Oh, you missed the trick shot fart.
Oh, Kyle trick shotted.
I gotta check my email for business inquiries.
You trick shotted him?
Yeah, like a color guard move.
Blue angels?
Do you think we could synchronize one?
Who wants to go synchronize farts?
I got nothing right now.
If out here starts synchronizing farts.
The booth.
No farts.
We're getting synced out here.
Oh, no, KB.
Do you think we could harmonize our farts?
What?
Oh, no, KB.
Uh-oh.
I just sent it to you, TJ. Oh, no, KB. Oh. Uh-oh. I just sent it to you, TJ.
Oh, no, KB. Did I shit?
No.
You shouldn't have to ask us that.
You sure know.
Hey, Nick, can I ask you something, man-to-man?
Did I shit myself?
Who shit these pants?
Fell out of the bottom of the sea. Hey, be honest with me. Did I shit myself? Who shit these pants? Fell out of the bottom.
Hey, be honest with me.
Did I shit myself?
I can trust you.
You're my boy.
Let's see it.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. no.
It ain't like that.
Pair that with the audio of what he said in the beginning of the show.
Are you almost there show are you almost there
are you almost there Kate
oh no
Steven
oh man
T.J.
do you guys need to spin the wheel
oh T.J.
I'm gonna shit my pants
and that's fine
spin it spin the wheel that would count that would count I'm going to shit my pants. And that's fine. Spin it.
That would count.
Spin the wheel.
That would count.
That would count.
That's not an option, Zaha.
That's all I have right now, Brandon.
Do you just want me to go to the gambling cave and ask anybody who wants to come fart?
There's 30 people in there.
We can set a farting record.
Trent's got one cooking right now.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's got that popcorn.
He's got that feed bag strapped to his hip.
Clemmer's fart would rattle.
Mikey Betts definitely blames his farts on Frank.
Perks of the job, baby.
All those guys could probably fart right now I don't know
Chaps yes
Kirk no
Kirk maybe
White boy Rick looks so gay right now
Gay Rick no
What is he sitting?
Oh, no, Rick.
Holy shit.
Oh, no.
Oh, Rick.
Stop it, Rick.
Stop it, Rick.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
Wait, he's about to see this.
It's getting worse and worse
Oh no
The swivel
Oh my god
Rick
This is bad
That's brutal
I can't wait till he sees it
Someone tell him now Or text DM him
Oh no
Tweet at him
We can't pan away until he knows
Yeah he's gonna see it eventually
He's gonna look up
Yeah barely
Let's hear it Barely Look up. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, barely.
Let's hear it.
Barely?
That ain't barely.
Bare ass. Who was that from?
JP.
That sounded like JP.
Oh, shout out JP.
That sounded like JP.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. oh no oh he's just caught hey rick buddy
oh what is he doing oh he's like i don't know i was just picking my nose and playing with my balls Oh.
That's brutal.
He's got to do something straight.
Punch Tate in the face right now. You've got to do something.
He kind of knows.
No, I feel like he can't move now now now he's doing the right thing bye you gotta
embrace it
is my phone just pulled up the yak yet
oh yeah
hey is your phone saying give us a sassy hand
oh you guys
boys will be boys
that's the bro sassy hand
oh give us that sassy hand rick
just do a little
oh no come on Oh, give us that sassy hand, Rick. Just do a little. Oh, no.
Come on.
I think we're in a staring contest right now.
Give us a sass.
Give us a sass, Rick.
I don't think we're going to get it.
No, I don't think so.
Like Che's fart.
When you say Che, I'll say this.
No matter what
happens you're gonna be as limber as you've ever been tonight so zon zon tj you guys can phone a
fart yeah i don't think no i think they have to call out the person yeah jerry came out like you
can call out someone or phone someone but you can't come, can't just be a random farter.
My cousin is like, I swear that fart was so loud.
And then he texted me back.
He's like, I had my Bluetooth headphones.
Oh no.
Tommy can.
What's Rick doing now?
He's still just looking.
He's stuck.
He's stuck on it.
That would be, I don't know what I would do in that position
Yeah I would do the sass hands
And just let it be
Booth is just letting us down
Booth can't fart
So bad
Someone do high noon
Oh yeah someone do high noon
TJ calls someone
By the way
I'm not going to say it.
What?
Go back to the booth shot.
Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Don't, don't, don't.
No, no, no.
Go back to the booth shot.
Hey there.
Hey, Steph. Steph.
I fucking love this show.
And remember, we decided that we'll keep the Fart Eliminator off the wheel for three months,
then we'll bring it back.
It's good every three months.
I fucking love it.
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High Noon, sun's up.
Mm-mm-mm.
Oh, man.
It'd be awesome if Steph just came out here
and bodied everybody.
Broke the windows.
The messiest.
Had to rip our headphones off. I called in a champion. Embodied everyone. Broke the windows. The messiest, hugest part.
Had to rip our headphones off.
I called in a champion.
Oh, you called in a champion.
All right.
Smart move, TJ.
It is tough to think about anything else on Fart Eliminated. Oh, we have.
I had a feeling old chapsy.
Yep.
Great chaps.
Give me a second.
Okay.
I'm wearing good pants for it.
All right.
It is what Kate also referenced, the pants.
I'll tell you what, I fart in all pants.
It depends on what's.
Yeah.
There's a lot of pressure.
Yeah.
It gets nerve-wracking.
Oh, that one right there.
No, I don't.
No, thank you.
No, not yet.
Not yet.
He aggressive.
You look at Trey while she's about to rap.
He is. There's a to rap. He is.
This is a lot of pressure.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Did someone fart?
Yep.
You did.
Okay.
I was going to warn you.
I was going to blame it on him.
When were you going to warn us?
After the fart?
I was waiting for Chavs to fart.
I don't think you know what warning means.
You were going to have Chavs fart and be like,
ooh, that sounded like a stinky one.
That was my strat.
I'm trying to get it all loosened up.
Got it.
Clemmer coming in as well.
Who's calling Clemmer? Zah?
I'm afraid of what Clemmer will do.
Oh, it's Chase.
This could open up a portal to hell.
Yeah.
It might sound like a Wilhelm.
He's going to open up upside down.
He sucks us in. It's like a a Wilhelm. He's going to open up upside down. He sucks us in.
Go the wrong way.
It's like a magic school bus.
The fart mic's in Chaps' face.
What is that face, Clumber?
Oh, yeah, okay.
You can be in the middle.
We don't have fart mics.
You guys don't have to stand a single mile.
Don't put your face too close.
Nobody's used a mic to talk.
Yeah, go in the middle.
So right to the butt, you think?
Yeah.
I think that'd be the best body part to use.
Hey!
Yeah!
You got me!
Clemmer!
That's the boy.
Oh, man. That was huge
Way to go Clemmer
Chaps or nothing?
Oh Chaps you can't walk out
Oh Chaps walking out in shame
I'm not walking out
I'm trying to get my belly going
So Che's off the board
Che's off the board so Zahn TJ
I called Blutman also he didn't't pick up. He called me back.
I said, are you able to fart right now?
He said, I don't know what I'm capable of.
So Zahn, TJ need to find a champion.
And then Steph has to rip a nasty one.
Who's?
Oh, white boy Rick.
Should we just have him?
If he can fart, I think we can count as two.
All right.
We'll see if Rick.
Zod's calling in a ringer.
Oh, nice.
A ringer?
What does that mean?
Who's considered a fart ringer?
Oh, Jerry, you got another fart?
What's up, Jerry?
He poked in earlier. He's like, hey, you guys need me to go again? You farted walking in fart? What's up, Jerry? He poked in earlier.
He's like, hey, you guys need me to go again?
You farted walking in?
Who's this for, TJ?
I don't know.
Somebody said they needed a fart.
TJ, it's your fart?
Did somebody need a fart?
TJ's got his hand up.
Oh, no, TJ.
TJ, oh, no.
Yeah, get down.
Look at me while you do it.
Oh, shit.
I'm quiet, though.
Oh, I have it.
I get stage fright.
Man. Let me cook in the corner we're all getting pink eye
All of us
I don't think it reaches that far
Lay on each other
Oh White Sox D
White Sox D
Come here Oh, White Sox D. Oh, yeah. White Sox D. Hey. Hey.
Come here.
Oh.
Oh.
All right.
Thanks, man.
Can you fart for us?
I can't fart on command.
Come on.
Come on.
I'll try.
I believe in you. Your slideshow will be
punishable with moot
if you can do this.
No, no, in this mic,
in this mic, in this mic.
What if I accidentally shit myself?
That would be funny.
Sounds like you shit yourself.
Don't stare at me.
Look at that thing.
But that's you. TV. thing but that's you
just watch me on TV
I don't think I'm going to be able to get it
no
I don't have any food in my stomach
alright that's fine
I tried
it's ok
alright see you Dave It's okay.
All right.
Fuck.
See you, Dave.
See you.
I'll work on it and come back.
You'd think there'd be more farters.
Grab a couple more out there.
Grab some farters.
Grab some farters.
If I have to fart, can I come back?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Che never farted, right?
No, he snuck out.
But the last champion was... Clemmer was his.
Oh, got it.
Really disappointed.
I mean, if you think about the odds of this building,
how many people are in it,
how many people outside this studio can't fart,
yet this entire studio farted 100%?
All groups.
The whole squad got out.
Gang shit.
Best farters in the office.
So.
Steve?
I don't want to spin our wheel, TJ.
Might as well.
How many more farts do we have?
Two.
We just need to get two from any two people.
Two farts.
Two farts.
Just need two farts.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
How'd that get back on the goddamn wheel?
Where did that come from?
How did that get back on the goddamn wheel?
Where the fuck did that come from?
Yeah.
Who did that?
We'll catch him, Brandon. Don't worry.
We'll find the guy who did this
to you. If we could get one of
those guys right there. If we could get Leatherjacket,
then he counts as two forms.
Wait, alright, let's spin a wheel of all of us
to see who we can ask. Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes, go right now.
All of us. I think it would
kill me. It could be either guy.
Literally die. Oh my god. I need the Leatherjacket. I think it would kill me. It could be either guy. Literally die.
Oh, my God.
I need the leather jacket. I need leather jacket.
You guys so bad.
Oh, spin it quick, TJ.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it quick.
Spin it.
Spin it.
Spin it.
I don't have the name so hard.
Revert.
Cancel. Ch it. Spin it. Spin it. I don't have the name so far. Revert. Cancel.
Chaps.
How are we doing everyone?
I think he's been tipped off.
Yeah, they know.
How?
Someone has to go get him.
Who tipped him off?
I don't know.
Someone called him.
How?
You think they've been tipped off?
Marty just got a call.
I'll do it. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. That was so fast. I don't know if someone called him. How? They've been tipped off? Marty just got a call. I'll do it.
Just do it.
Just do it.
That was so fast.
I don't know if he's been tipped.
We need him.
The boss move would be if one of them just stormed in here and grabbed the mic.
What if he's like a big client?
Yeah.
That was my concern if it got to my name.
I think Dan's asking who they are first.
That's dude wipe.
That's Mr. Wipe Give me five
Whoa that guy's stepping up
No
That guy's got one
They're thinking about it
Look at those pants The guy in the suit might be about that action That guy's got one. They're thinking about it. They're loving it.
Look at those pants.
The guy in the suit might be about that action.
I think he is.
He's thinking about it. I think he is.
He wants to.
Oh, no.
It doesn't look good.
It doesn't look good.
Oh, he's bouncing on his toes.
He's working.
He doesn't have a fart.
What?
Figured.
I was trying to explain it.
The other guy said he blew it all out.
Blew it all out.
The other guy already blew it all out.
Who are they?
I don't know. That was awkward though.
I'm sure.
I just kept pointing at him.
You want to fart?
Hey there, buddy.
He's the Miss Peaches voice.
Can I just go to the gambling cave and find two people?
Yes.
Yeah.
Go get two people to fart, and then we're good.
Are we getting Rick in here, too?
I told Rick he'd be a hero.
He said he doesn't have one.
Last Fart Eliminator, it was the OnlyFans model.
Roan asked.
Oh, yeah.
She did not, I don't think. Roan asked. Oh, yeah. She did not.
I don't think.
Roan asked if she farted
with that ass, right?
With that ass, yes.
You fart with that ass?
Nope, something
cooking in the booth?
I think so.
TJ got one?
TJ might shit himself
Wait who do you get
Brandon's clapping
Brandon's ecstatic
Jake
I mean I'm turtle headed
I walked in and I said
Who's can fart
One man said
I got you
What
No
I couldn't
Unexpected Jake You gotta Right there You gotta get this stone I couldn't.
Unexpected.
Mike, right there, right there, right there.
You got to get this stone cold. He's not even in a hurry.
No, he's...
I got up and I thought...
Be careful with that, Mike.
A lot of people fart in that.
Everyone's farting into it.
It might be more of a poop than a fart.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
That's fine.
Put it in your butt and do it.
Hey, this fart's more of a poop. Fart, no. Oh, no. That's fine. Put it in your butt and do it. Hey, this fart's more of a poop.
Fart.
Fart.
Fart.
Fart.
It might be a poop.
Okay.
False alarm.
False alarm.
Oh, he's running now.
Oh, he's running.
He's running.
He's running.
He's running.
What the hell?
I thought there was men in this office.
Disappointed.
He's going.
Yeah.
We've all walked that walk before.
Oh.
Just need two farts. Just two. Just two farts
Just two
Just two farts
I bet you
Billy has to have one
If you want to call him
Zaha
No he won't
Because he's running for office
That's what I want
I can't do that
You'd think there'd be
Two farts out here
You'd think we would have
Two farts
This whole room has done it And we can't find two farts in this place?
This place is a walking fart factory.
You drive past this building, you're like, I bet there's thousands of farts.
They just make farts every day.
That's all they do.
It's a fart factory.
And we can't find two?
Not two.
Like, how is that possible?
That leather jacket guy, definitely. He he's gonna walk outside and rip ass he was giving the chaps belly slap yeah
seeing if anyone was home he's gonna rip ass the minute he walks out
i want to see i want to it's so funny also just like not knowing who could walk through that door
yeah it's got that like wrestling vibe to it. Oh my God.
It's Spider.
It's Megan making money's music.
What?
My God.
No one's got one?
I think people here are too comfortable, Dan.
They don't think they...
I don't know if they're trying to...
Should I go yell at them?
Get the fuck in here and fart?
They all look around each other like, not me.
I'm not going to do that.
You have a dream job.
In the one day a year, you have to come in here and rip ass if you don't.
Where's Mincy?
It's a Thursday.
There's no guarantee he's here.
Who goes in that?
Hank?
I got one.
Hank said no.
Max?
What about Max?
I'll call Max. Chuck said
he's going to try. Chuck is peeing right now.
That's not good.
I feel like Max
is like, you ever seen in the Avengers
when the Hulk
is like, my secret is I'm always
angry. Max always has to
fart. There's no way that Mikey Betts doesn't have a
fart. He's got to. He's being shy.
All those guys look farty.
So farty.
Hey, where are you?
I'm in the bathroom. Oh!
The worst timing.
Get in here and fart.
Get into the yak and fart.
All right, I can try.
Yeah, I know you got one. At least you can try. All right, get in here and fart. Get into the yak and fart. All right, I can try. Yeah, I know you got one.
At least you can try.
All right, get in here.
All right, I got one right now.
He said he could fart.
Who is this?
This is just for fun.
No, this doesn't count.
We need live person fart.
Sass.
Oh, this does count.
You want to fart real quick?
Yeah, sure.
This counts.
This counts.
I'll try, but I don't know if I'm... Because because i have to shit so i don't know once a week i was literally just about to get up to shit well we'll go shit
good
all right give us one put it in your Put the phone near your ass.
Put the phone in my ass? Yes.
Sass, put your ass on.
I'm going to turn my camera off then.
Okay.
Why are you not wearing pants?
Did you hear it?
No.
I don't know if I did.
Yeah.
Well, I farted.
That was perfectly Sass.
All right, Max. Later,ed. That was perfectly sad. Later, brother.
Come on, dude.
I got coffee in my head right now.
All right.
All right.
Coffee house farts.
Coffee house farts, does it not?
Come on.
Don't act like that's a crazy thing, dude.
We've been farting in that mic.
I don't give a fuck.
Okay, sorry.
Axe is doing a sit right now.
This is good.
All right.
I'm like...
Just...
Is there like a position that helps?
Deep squat.
Deep squat.
Deep squat.
It's hard. deep squat deep squat
the eight of us all of us all of you did it yeah
all right he's done now all right i'm going i'm going to the gambling cave. I'm finding us two farts. You have to.
Oh, Mr. Big Break.
This is ridiculous.
We can't find two farts.
This could be White Boy Rick's redemption story.
Well, I told him.
He said he's working on it.
Two farts.
Two farts.
Just two.
I need two, boys.
Two farts, but I got me a good boy.
I just offered the guy $100 for a fart.
You can fart?
Do I have to?
Yes.
Oh, yes.
This couldn't be worse timing.
What do you mean, Clyde?
You have to poop, too?
I'm going through a really bad poop day, and I just pooped.
Okay, well, then if you don't have it, you don't have it.
Go on.
Give it a shot.
Give it a shot.
Hop on the center. There's Mike in the middle.
Fart Mike.
I can burn one.
You'd be a hero.
Fart Mike sounds like he'll be one of our coworkers.
This is gay Pat.
White Sox Dave.
Fart Mike.
I'll do what the babies do.
Barstool Fart Mike.
I don't want to talk too close to this. That's tall Mike. Barstool fart. Fart Mike. I don't want to talk
too close to this.
That's tall Mike.
That's fart Mike.
If I go for one,
it could really be
a day ruiner.
Yeah, all right.
Day ender.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah.
Big cat looks pissed.
Leave it on the field.
As he should be.
As he should be.
How can these people
not just...
At least come by. Come on, spider. As he should be. As he should be. How can these people not just at least come crying? Spider?
Come on, spider.
Oh, spider's stretching.
He's brewing.
It's actually
kind of like, I'm getting like pee shy almost.
Fart.
You need me to rub
your belly? Rudy, put
the mic to your ass. Apparently, we're truly
the elite of this company.
At least the best assholes, anyway.
Big cat yelling at people.
Who's that?
What is that?
What does any
amount of stretching do for a fart?
This is just a trick to get everyone to start stretching here.
Yeah, I'm trying.
Dan, what's going on?
We just heard you out there ripping people.
The whole office.
Everyone's sitting in weird angles
trying to work up a fart.
People at their desks with their knees
in the air.
It's literally like
the whole office is on fart duty.
Everyone's just like, I'm trying.
I'm trying.
I went to the gambling cave.
Tate is like doing squats.
They know how big of a moment it would be.
Still gay.
Still gay.
Look at him.
Oh, no.
No. No. No. No. No. Look at him! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Oh my god! He's not even talking to anybody
Oh my god!
I'm crying, love me!
Stop bouncing, Mike!
Stop bouncing!
Come on, Chase, we can't go!
Stop it. Rick.
Holy shit.
Rick.
Rick.
Spider, move that chair in front of Rick.
Move the chair away from the camera.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. away from the camera stop doing that motion Oh my god. Oh, baby, he's coming in. It's coming. If Rick can fart, the show's over.
If Rick can fart, the show is over.
Oh, my God.
I think I threw my back out.
Oh, here he comes.
He's right there.
That mic, that mic, that mic.
Let's go, let's go.
Come on, Rick.
Let's go, Rick.
Come on, Rick.
Come on.
Shh, shh.
Yeah!
Yay! One moment. Rick also we might have been watching you when you were doing that
your life's over
don't go on the internet for a while
your life's over buddy
your life is over
you might have been watching
show Rick what we were watching Don't go on the internet for a while, Rick. Your life's over, buddy. Your life is over. Everybody been watching you.
Wait, you have to take up the mic.
Wait, Rick.
Show Rick what we were watching.
Please high five me.
No, what?
You saw what?
Did you get blown up with art?
Yeah.
Perfect.
I Googled how do you induce a fart.
All right.
That was a great yak.
It couldn't have been any perfect.
Holy shit.
There's Rick.
He's perfect.
Yeah, Rick.
Rick counts as two there for everything that he went through today.
Thanks, Rick.
Oh, man.
All right, Will.
Fights.
Thank you, guys.
Oh, what a good one.
See everyone tomorrow for Steven's Body Armor Challenge.
Brandon Walker Appreciation Day.
Yeah.
Is he going to be here or no?
Is he going to be here, Brandon?
Yeah.
He's going to be here.
All right.
All right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow.
Thank you.
Please subscribe.
Subscribe.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were pointing at something.
No, no. It's the act It's the act
It's your straws, yeah, style of tape for a while
It's the act
It's the act
It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap
It's the act It's the act.
It's the act.
Thanks, White Boy Rick.
Sorry for not farting.
I'm going to go take a huge dump.
Alright, love you, bye.