The Yak - Looking Back at the Best Tweets in American History | The Yak 3-21-23
Episode Date: March 21, 2023Why the buddy pregnant?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Hello.
It's the Yak.
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Hello, everyone.
What's up?
How we doing?
Brandon's out.
Ron's out.
Ron's out.
I'll see if Jersey Jerry wants to come in.
I have to leave right at 2. Why? The adult braces come off this afternoon. Rones out. I'll see if Jersey Jerry wants to come in. I have to leave right at 2.
Why?
The adult braces come off this afternoon.
Oh, great.
Very exciting.
It's going to be a whole new me tomorrow.
Huge day.
Yep.
Titus is here.
Titus.
Hey, everybody.
How was your day off?
Great day off.
I went to Central Park and just sat on a bench for a while.
Nice.
That was about it. That was all I while. Nice. That was about it.
That was all I did.
Yeah.
That was it.
It's the dream.
Yeah.
Titus was thrown into the deep end of Barstool.
Yeah.
The streams for four days straight.
Yeah.
You've got to pretend like you don't like sports, man.
Trust me.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm learning.
Well, the best was when Nick started a year ago.
Today.
Today?
Yeah.
One day he made a mistake wearing a Steelers sweatshirt,
and I was like, hey, what's that?
And he was like, well, it's the team I root for.
And then I was like, all right, well, you've got to come to the stream.
He's like, fuck.
Yep.
It was the beginning of the end when I think I answered
like Ladarius Green on the dozen correctly.
Yeah.
Brandon thought I was cheating.
Yeah.
Yeah, KB doesn't even like wrestling.
He just figured he's got to have a sport so people can't be like,
this loser doesn't like any sport.
Yeah.
He's got us off the scent.
Oh, man.
Sass was in deep trouble because all of his teams were in the NFL playoffs.
Yeah.
Every single one of his teams were in the playoffs.
All of them.
All ten of them.
He has his hair.
He's got a black eye.
He does?
Yeah.
That's real?
I thought that was makeup.
No, he's got a real...
Do you know that gym picture where he's wearing a pink tank top and his eye is pink?
Yeah, he looks like shit. Why does he's got a real... You know that gym picture where he's wearing like a pink tank top and his eye is pink and it's... Yeah, he looks like shit.
Why does he have a black eye?
He got in a fight
with Kelly Keegs.
Damn.
There's Jerry.
Come on in, Jerry.
Oh, look.
You guys all have
the same shoes.
Are those Jerry's?
No, Jerry's got white.
Yeah, those are cool, huh?
Are these? Yeah, those are fire. Steven, why are you, huh? Are these?
Yeah, those are fire.
Steven, why are you looking at me like that?
I'm not.
Your tummy hurt?
Yeah.
It does.
What's wrong?
I did an ad upstairs that was an eating thing.
What'd you eat?
Two KFC Double Downs and two fries and two drinks in ten minutes.
Oh.
Double Down Tool.
Who'd you go against?
It's not
next to each other. I think
Billy's going right now. It's against the clock?
Yeah. It's really against yourself.
Yeah. Best kind of competitions.
My tummy was in distress last night.
I had two and a half rolls of bottle caps.
The
actual plastic ones?
No, no, no. Oh, because that would be funny.
The sweet treat, the sweet, sweet candy. Nick,
of course your stomach hurts.
You need a lot of plastic. No, no, it's like the chalky
candy. And I thought I would avoid gummy
tummy from it, but it's the same sensation.
What's a slept on candy?
The wax bottles. Oh, I love them.
No, those are amongst the worst.
And especially when you've got braces.
You can't just say no. Yeah, you've got braces. You can't just say no.
Yeah, you can say no.
You can?
Nick said no.
They've got to be amongst the worst.
Overruled.
Do you do the thing where you slowly chomp your teeth all the way down the bottom?
Yeah, and it squirts them.
Yeah, and then you have that wax in your mouth.
You bite them after.
You get the last remnants of it when you chew on the wax.
Every time I go to a Cracker Barrel, I load up on that kind of candy.
Yeah.
I had two packs of Razzles on the plane. That was a 30-minute flight. What are the wax. Every time I go to a Cracker Barrel, I load up on that kind of candy. Yeah. I had two packs of
Razzles on the plane. That was a
30-minute flight. What are the wax?
Bad, bad candies.
What are the juices
inside of it? I think they're called
nick-a-lips. Pieces of
wax. They taste exactly
like wax, and there's a little bit of
syrup. But I don't think you realize he said
no.
Again, yeah, you can't.
Fine, yeah.
What the fuck?
I thought they were.
With you, KB, those things suck.
You pull up a picture of them.
Yeah, maybe I know what they're like.
It's the chewing after that's fun.
You chew the wax.
You just get wax.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, lips.
Very pleasing.
Nick, your taste in candy is bizarre.
Yeah, I know.
Honestly say I've never had this.
It's just sugar.
60 of them?
Yeah, get a bunch, Jerry.
Yeah, I'm going to get some for my...
Jerry, do you think you could...
No, no, no.
Get some for here.
Do you think you could have 500 in an episode?
No.
I don't think so.
200?
Nothing.
I think you could.
No.
Because 500 squeezed out would probably only be two cups of... Yeah, I think you could do it. Yeah, but I think the chewing is going to mess you up. Yeah. Because like 500 squeezed out would probably only be like two cups of.
Yeah, I think you could do it.
Yeah, but I think the chewing is going to mess you up.
Yeah.
Get your jaw.
Yeah.
Are they just gushers?
No, it's.
Oh, not even.
They're wax.
Yeah, but so I'm saying if you like.
Have you guys tried gushers?
Yeah.
It's like an explosion of like corn syrup.
Yeah, it's like taking a swig.
But with the pleasure of wax in your mouth.
You know when you take a swig
of Kool-Aid and you're just like, damn.
I wish this was solid.
Just bought a four pound box.
Oh.
Buy a few four pound boxes.
I was just going to say, get a few more.
I'm going to get 16 pounds.
Why not?
Finally, you're using the money.
Kate, this is the perfect activity post-braces.
Yeah.
This will be great.
I think orthodontists recommend them for braces because it kind of softens the edges.
You can put that wax on your brain and the sharp parts.
So you were exactly wrong.
I was.
Che.
That what?
This is a good braces activity
I can't believe you didn't know you could say no
Yeah
There's the worst candy
There's way worse
The peanuts?
Necco wafers
Circus peanuts aren't candy
Circus peanuts are candy
I have a grandma tasting candy
I have a real cracker barrel tasting candy Werther's? Thoseafers. I have like a grandma tasting candy. I have a real Cracker Barrel tasting candy.
So bad.
Werther's?
Not bad.
Those little strawberries?
I actually like those.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
What are those called?
It looks like a strawberry.
Nobody knows.
Those are phenomenal.
Reasons are terrible.
Reasons are bad.
I just bought a bag.
Chewing reasons are good.
Oh.
I literally just ran downstairs.
Fuck those Mary Janes.
Those suck.
What are those orange and black ones?
Oh, no.
Maybe those are kisses?
Is that peanut butter?
I don't know what those are.
Those orange and black ones are rough.
I don't know what those are.
Why are Tootsie Rolls on there?
Tootsie Rolls are great.
I love Tootsie Rolls.
No, they aren't.
It's just chocolate.
No, it's not.
I wouldn't even call that chocolate.
It's not chocolate.
It's the worst chocolate.
Who doesn't like Tootsie Rolls?
KB's coming with some strong opinions. I doesn't like Tootsie Rolls? KB's coming with some strong opinions.
I would never choose Tootsie Rolls.
You would never get a Tootsie Roll and be like, oh, I don't want a
Tootsie Roll. But it's amongst the worst
candy. If you had a bowl
and it was all the other general
candies and Tootsie Rolls were in there, you'd never
take a Tootsie Roll. I love Tootsie Rolls.
Tootsie Pops. You'd take a
Tootsie Roll over like a Reese's?
Yes. No. You take a Tootsie Roll over like a Reese's? Yes.
No.
I understand you're a massive power.
That's a fucking boo.
Let's get this out on the main page.
Oh, you're going to get lampooned.
Snickers?
I don't really like Snickers.
Kit Kat?
I love Kit Kat.
All right, so you take a Kit Kat over a Reese's? A hundred percent.
Kit Kats are the best chocolate bar.
Kit Kats are phenomenal.
The big Kit Kat where you bite all the chocolate off first and then you eat the wafer.
Yeah, we all do that.
Yeah, that's the best Kit Kat.
It's the best.
I like some peanut butter in mine.
You lick all the chocolate off.
I ate about a thousand Buckeyes when we were in Columbia.
Oh, yeah.
Or just chocolate and peanut butter.
Yeah.
Just pounding them. Do you guys like the flavored Tootsie Rolls? Those are very Columbia. Oh, yeah. Or just chocolate and peanut butter. Yeah. Just pounding them.
Do you guys like the flavored Tootsie Rolls?
Those are very good. The fruities.
No, I don't like those.
Those are the best.
Those are the worst.
The vanilla ones?
Vanilla ones.
Yeah, big Kit Kats.
I love Kit Kats.
What about Cow Tails?
Oh, I love Cow Tails.
I actually like Cow Tails.
Those are good.
Cow Tails are good.
So good.
It's like chocolate and cream. There's a caramel cream. Gentlemen, Cow Tails? Yeah. Yeah. Cow tails are good. So good. It's like chocolate and cream.
There's a caramel cream.
Gentlemen, cow tails?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think cow tails.
All right.
Cow tails are a top dog.
They have calories, so I'm not really into that.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Wait.
Show cow tails.
I know of cow tails.
I don't know.
I'm learning that my candy knowledge is lacking.
I just stick to the basics.
I'm a basic bitch when it comes to candy.
I just eat Snickers and Reese's basically.
Yeah, the gals are so good.
You're not missing out on much.
The only new one is the-
Don't say it.
The gummy clusters.
Oh, the nerds gummy clusters.
People are raving about those.
Those are phenomenal.
Yeah.
It's candy talk.
I thought you were going to say take five.
That's still new in my head.
Those suck.
Too much going on.
Those are the best.
That's my favorite.
I know.
It's a three perfect combination.
You know what you never see?
The Whatchamacallits.
Yeah.
I used to love those.
I like those.
It's continued, yeah.
I used to always think it'd be so funny.
Orphans love Whatchamacallits.
I worked at an orphanage in high schools in summer, in high school, and in college, and
they couldn't get enough.
Yeah.
I think Whatchamacallits send them, they get orphans hooked.
And it was great when you were a little kid, like it's one of the first jokes you learned
is when someone says, what's your favorite candy?
You're like, whatchamacallit?
Whatchamacallit.
Whatchamacallit.
Yeah.
No, no, what's your favorite candy?
Whatchamacallit.
It would get you.
It played.
It played.
Listen.
It would get you every time.
I know no one's laughing right now, but it played.
If there's any kids watching, they're geeking out.
Oh, they would be laughing.
Oh, we have a lot
of kids watching this yeah shitload orphans 100 grand who's the youngest i was just gonna say
the youngest uh yak fan you think uh realistically someone who actually likes it on their own accord
without their parents and yes i think probably 12 yeah there's their kids i like 12 year old me
would watch the fartart Eliminator
And think it's the coolest show
That's how I would get in
And then I would watch some of these shows
And probably be like, these guys are lame and old
But The Fart Eliminator would be enough to
I think that killed in the 12 year old
Yeah, for sure
I showed it to my son and he thought it was hilarious
You know what's a top candy for me is these.
What are those?
Jolly Rancher.
Bites.
The gummy ones with the sauce.
You know what?
That's cheating.
No, these are so fucking good.
No, no, no.
I'm saying that's cheating from Jolly Rancher.
It's like a hybrid.
Yeah, well, Jolly Rancher, like the whole downside of Jolly Rancher is they're so fucking hard.
So they're like, oh, we're making gummies?
That's just a starburst.
Who's this?
Who's this?
Oh, people are doing their ages?
No one's...
Seven and a half.
There it is.
Seven and a half years old.
I am seven.
Yeah, these people are being honest.
I met a geezer fan in Scottsdale.
You did?
Yeah, who's our oldest?
A certified geezer.
I like that.
Yeah.
Because usually, like, an old guy will come up to me and be like, my sons are big fans.
Like, what?
So you aren't?
Yeah.
What the hell?
Come on, man.
Or, like, a girl will come back.
My boyfriend's a huge fan.
Basically saying, like, I hate you.
I tolerate you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But someone in my life likes you. I tolerate you. Yeah. But someone in my life likes you.
It is crazy how many people I get that are like,
my brother would kill me if I didn't get a picture with you.
It's like, well, what about you?
My brother needs me to get a picture with you.
You don't even have a brother, do you?
I got in Columbus, a guy came up and asked for a picture.
And he said that my buddy says that you've cost him a lot of money
so let's get a pic together so i can send it to him and i was like this is the wildest yeah you
can see i've he's like yeah my buddy's really pissed that he's lost money because of you so
can we get a pic i was like what the fuck does that end up yeah i get a lot of my wife or
girlfriend likes you a lot it's always a guy being like oh yeah but my wife or girlfriend likes you a lot. It's always a guy being like, oh, yeah, but my wife or girlfriend would like that.
Yeah, I'd like to see you to say hi.
Yeah.
I hope that's true.
Is this our stats?
Wow.
Female.
7.4%. Shout out to the women, by the way.
Just all women, really.
80 actors are the best.
To be honest, 92%. I think we should be shouting that out first. Yeah, by the way. Yeah. Just all women, really. Lady Yakers are the best. To be honest, 92%.
I think we should be shouting that out first.
Yeah, we fucking rule.
Those guys.
They make up almost the entire show.
Lady Yak.
I keep promising a Lady Yak t-shirt and not following through on it.
I had a lot of people asking me for why isn't there Yak merch in the Canadian barstool store.
Oh, we have a Canadian barstool store?
Apparently.
I thought it was just the barstool store.
They just chicklet stuff?
Yeah.
Probably.
Yeah.
All right, we'll get one in there.
I know we're big in Canada.
Yeah.
Huge.
A lot of Canadians.
They love us.
Canada.
That's where the Canadians are.
There was a lot of Canadians in Canada asking for merch.
Did you meet any Canadians?
A couple, yeah.
Is there anybody east of the prime meridian watching right now?
Hmm.
Where's that?
That's dead center, right?
What ocean?
It splits.
It goes through England.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
On the other side.
Yeah, what's it called on the other side Yeah Is there What's it called
On the other side
The eastern
Western hemisphere
But like the line
On the other side
It's one line
You can see where
It's the equator
And the prime meridian
Yeah it goes around
Yeah so like
But if it's only
Like I only know it
As the line
Yeah yeah
So I only know it
As the line
That cuts through England
But then like
When it goes around To the other side It's the same line It's England, but then when it goes around to the other side, it's still the line.
But we never talk about the other side.
We don't.
It's like the dark side of the moon.
Australia.
What's it cut through?
Not Australia.
It's a big top listener.
Sweden.
Shout out Sweden.
UK, Ireland.
Italy's got to be just all Italian.
India.
Superman people.
7, 16 in India?
Hell yeah.
We got to go.
Yeah. Live show in India? Hell yeah. We gotta go. Yeah.
Live show?
India?
Yeah.
But less people in the Netherlands, but they watch two and a half times as much as the
Indians.
Hell yeah.
Indians definitely just click on it.
They're like, whoops.
No thanks.
Philippines, Russia.
South Africa.
We're worldwide.
WOM.
Fuck yeah.
TNT?
Hell yeah.
This is just where all of our 28-year-old Ohio dudes went on vacation.
Yes.
Do you think the show is banned anywhere?
Ooh.
Do we have any North Korean viewers?
People are dying to, literally dying to watch the ad.
They're doing protests.
Well, we do stand with Hong Kong.
So that could be problematic.
Right, Steven?
Is your dad from Hong Kong?
Yeah, that's why I thought you said that.
No.
Oh.
I was saying because Hong Kong and China got a little tiff going on.
Right now?
Oh, boy.
Father's from there.
I'm still waiting to collect information before I decide,
along with the rest of the –
Wait, Stephen, you didn't know Hong Kong? You trying to get to the NBA? Yeah, with the rest of the... Wait, Steven, you didn't know Hong Kong?
You trying to get to the NBA stuff?
Yeah, with the rest of the NBA.
We're still compiling the data before we speak out.
You didn't know there was a TIFF?
I mean, they always don't like each other, right?
It's like a historical TIFF.
Well, yeah, it's like something about British rule or whatever.
That's about right.
It's one of the bigger TIFFs.
It is.
Yeah.
It's like Israel-Palest Palestine, Mount Rushmore tiffs.
Israel, Palestine, Hong Kong, China, Hatfield, McCoys.
Yeah.
You and your broad.
Yeah.
She's at my fucking throat.
Went out for a few pops last night.
Damn.
I'm mad.
What other tiffs?
Kelly King's Mean Girls.
Yeah, it's a tiff.
Yeah, it's a tiff.
But I think this China-Hong Kong tiff is like minus 150 for World War III, like the reason for the start.
Soon?
Yeah, we might be underselling it, calling it a tiff.
We're just mad at each other right now.
What?
Are either of them in NATO?
China's not.
Just spell out NATO for me real quick.
N-A-T-O.
Yeah.
What does it stand for?
I don't know.
Organization treaty something?
North America.
All right.
Is it NATO worldwide?
I think you're thinking of the UN.
There's more countries in NATO than are in North America.
Yes or no?
I actually don't know.
Now I'm in deep water.
Now I'm in deep water.
Is it North America or North Atlantic?
North Atlantic.
It's got to be North Atlantic.
I think it's North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
Okay.
So then.
I think it was, wasn't NATO. So then, yeah, China should be in that then. North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Okay. So then... I think it was... Wasn't NATO...
So then, yeah, China should be in that then.
North Atlantic, because they're famously Atlantic.
Yeah, they're Atlantic.
I fail to see a problem here.
And the Atlantic Conference.
Yeah, they're in the A-10, right?
China is one of the number one Atlantic Conference teams.
Search NATO.
Look up NATO, because now we're learning.
Okay.
North Atlantic Treaty Organization. who's in that shit it looks like a lot of countries in the
north atlantic yeah okay so they kind of nailed that good job by nato it really stuck to the
north atlantic i think you're thinking of the un why Why? Maybe. Are they in that? Wait, what is this?
Membership states?
What's the orange?
Conference realignment.
Yeah.
We need to do that.
Partnership of peace.
That doesn't sound right for Russia.
Isn't Russia that shape?
Yeah, no, I know, but their partnership of peace doesn't really describe Russia.
A Russian Uber driver today.
He's an amazing guy.
Yeah?
Been through some shit, yeah.
What'd he say?
Came here seven years ago, but he left because of all the shit that was going on over there.
He tried to kidnap his wife, turn her into a prostitute.
Whoa.
Sounds like he's been through a lot.
Huh? Andrew Tate? No, no. This came up in an Uber ride? to a prostitute. Whoa. Sounds like he's been through a lot.
Andrew Tate?
No, no.
This came up in an Uber ride?
Oh, I've been getting a lot of sob stories from Uber drivers lately,
and I think it's a tactic to get a larger tip.
I don't know.
He was believable.
I tipped him extra.
That's what I did to my Syrian Uber driver.
Did he use your Syrian Uber driver?
He just said his family had to relocate
due to the earthquake.
Is there an earthquake?
He's trying to get a driving job at Barstool.
Do they open with this?
How did you get to...
He picked me up here.
He asked me, who do I work for?
What do you guys do?
Do you guys need a driver?
Got it.
What about you, Jerry?
How did you get to...
He asked me if I was...
What troops is here?
If I was from where he picked me up, I was like, yeah, I'm from here.
I was like, oh, where are you from?
He's like, Russia.
I was like, oh, nice.
That's awesome.
Is he just visiting?
Are you here for good?
He's like, no, I'm here for good.
Came here seven years ago.
Life got kidnapped.
Life.
He kept on saying the gangsters.
I don't know if that's like a term they use there, but he kept on saying the gangsters.
They tried to kidnap my wife and make her into a prostitute.
Yeah.
They didn't, though?
No. No, she's here now.
Is that a...
Is his wife hot? I didn't look.
I didn't ask. Was he hot?
Had a hot wife? Yeah, I think so.
Russians,
they don't need to be hot.
To get a hot wife, yeah.
You have to be tough, I feel like.
I don't know if any of them are hot.
There's hot Russians.
There's some out there.
There's got to be a male.
Anna Kournikova, right?
Talking about the males.
The males.
Yeah.
It's more of a toughness thing, I think.
It's a gall?
Hmm.
I bet you've pulled up like Russians.
Can we Google hot Russian man?
Yeah, who?
Sergey Fedorov?
Yeah.
Who's a hot Russian man. Yeah, who? Sergey Fedorov. Yeah. Who's a hot Russian?
The male, they have good male gymnasts, right?
Or no, I'm thinking of a different country.
Oh, I think you're right.
Probably.
Any of them attractive?
Oh, Putin number one.
Those guys are little douchebags.
And Putin's taking up a lot of space.
He's taking up the top of the Google search.
Yeah, I'll take one.
Oh, I want that too.
Yeah.
That guy's hot.
But also wearing a tank top.
Yeah, but look at his muscles.
That guy's hot.
That guy looks businessman frat boy.
That's one of the bigger collars.
That's a big collar.
And a huge necklace.
Was there a headline that just said Putin named Russia's hottest man?
I thought I saw.
This guy was still scared of Putin even being here.
And now you're saying it and Putin is a huge...
Moscow Times.
...named Russia's hottest man.
This is what I would do if I was in power.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Mill for the year.
Wait, he's still afraid?
Yeah, dude.
He seemed like he was, like, not trembling.
Like, I'm over-exaggerating.
But he was, like, talking about it.
He's like, I shouldn't even be really talking about this stuff.
It's a good thing you don't work at a place where you can just say it on air.
Well, I mean, I don't think he's going to listen to it.
What was his name?
What kind of car did he drive?
I don't know his name.
GMC.
What's that face?
Vito Aruja.
Yeah, well, I don't like your take on that.
What was my take on that?
You said it wasn't that big of an upset.
Vito? Yeah. I didn't even touch on V somebody just told me robbie he was like yeah he's like you talked to kyle about i was like oh not yet i don't think it was a huge upset that he beat
rby or fix but he dominated them yeah he looked the best that i've ever seen from a college
wrestler he looked very good very good very good good. But why don't you think because the way he wrestled Spencer in the regular season?
That's Matt Ramos.
This is a different guy.
Yeah, Vito.
Vito is a 133-pounder.
Okay, gotcha.
Gotcha.
Robbie confused me.
Right.
I don't think it was a top upset of all time Because Ramos Showed that he could
Already beat him
Gotcha
That's gotta be a
Shitty feeling though
Like
Lose?
Well the way Ramos did
You know
How'd he lose?
Like having that performance
Oh he lost the next match?
Yes
He lost in the finals
Yeah
And then like
Going into the final
And then losing
The guy who pulled off
The big upset
Lost in the final
Lost in the final
Pat Glory from Jersey
Who might be
One of the top guys now
It's like USA Hockey
If they had lost in the final
After beating Russia
Yeah
It would have been very funny
Now
Kyle
It's like Wisconsin basketball
And it was like
An entertaining tournament
And like with a lot of
It was one of my favorites
Yeah It was the first my favorites, yeah.
It was the first time I noticed like an evolution in style.
These guys can scramble for Dave.
What's your take on Dave?
Because I'm kind of fed up with him, but he's like, yeah, wrestling.
In Portnoy?
Yeah, he's like, yeah, whatever, wrestling.
I don't think it's going to be anything.
Like it is what it is.
Yeah, I think it is, though.
I think it's at its best for the fans, but not attracting new ones.
I don't think you can blow it up like Mincy does.
It's boring.
They need a step-out rule or something.
That's that.
All right, well, I'll do the High Noon ad.
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Should we do this
I sent a text to everyone
It's Twitter's birthday
And they asked for what
The favorite tweet of all time
Which was very funny
That Twitter like thought
Let me ask what
The favorite tweet of all time
And people are gonna actually
Be like oh yeah
It's like when
You know this person
Got a new puppy
It was all just It's when Ellen took a selfie At the Oscars The pedophiles all time and people are going to actually be like, oh yeah, it's like when this person got a new puppy.
It's all just- It's when Ellen took a selfie at the Oscars.
The pedophiles.
Yeah.
Now, we did ask on the Yak Twitter, what's your favorite Yak moment of all time about
two weeks ago?
Okay.
So, yeah.
Good idea from Twitter.
Good idea.
Good idea from Twitter.
Do you guys have any that you want to share?
Yeah, I sent one to TJ.
I know the hardest I've ever laughed while looking at my phone.
I know what it is. Yep. I couldn't think of my top one, I sent one to TJ. The hardest I've ever laughed while looking at my phone. I know what it is.
Yep.
I couldn't think of my top one.
Send a few to TJ.
There's so many.
It's got to be a black eye.
I went to an aggregator and found all of your top tweets of all time.
What?
Yeah, your number one top most liked tweets.
I'm very-
I have those.
Wow.
Yeah.
Is mine a black cat.
No.
Oh.
Because whenever there's a like any type of animal on a sports field I'll just take a
picture of it and be like if you don't retweet you'll have bad gambling.
Oh that's so good.
50k retweets instant.
Instant.
Oh this is mine.
Honey do you think I'm a good cook?
Is Chep a Bramble's company?
Yeah, that's Dan.
What the fuck?
Oh, shit.
That's my favorite tweet ever.
Oh, my God.
Chep is a rambles company
that is right there
I don't need
this is probably catastrophe
I found
you can google how to find someone
I forget the name of it but it's a website
and you type in people's users names
yeah I send them everybody's top tweets
you have a tweet that has like a million
likes 700,000 we'll see it shortly yes he's got well i had a bunch
but i can't i can't quick send me a couple else they send me this one i will not stop
from frank take i will not stop soda i'm on a diet soda i can't stop soda i'm sick of this
what am i doing for this this for for for anyway, I need to enjoy something.
It's pretty much life and death, said someone else.
And Frank said, then I might be the one.
I use that every now and then.
Then I always correct it.
Frank is so fucking funny.
Like Quicks pointed out, like he uses the end card for to start his videos for Barstool, but also on the video where he burnt the ribs,
he has the cooking instructions in the bio of his YouTube video.
Oh, God.
He also, the Frank fans, the Frank fanatics are so fucking funny.
Whenever he gets going on Twitter, the replies are just like videos and GIFs,
and they're so good.
He's got great fans. I remember
Frank tweeting something about
having to drink vinegar if
someone
was, I forget the specifics,
was AOC probably?
He had a whole thing a while ago about
liberals drinking vinegar.
I never really understood
but I didn't want to understand
ketchup was like mandatory it's a man of his word though frank people might not know but frank uh
before he came to barstool he i think it was if u.s soccer didn't qualify for the world cup
he would eat a piece of paper and then he ate the piece of paper for, like,
an audience of four.
It was incredible.
He ate his column.
You want to rip through mine?
I had a few.
I enjoyed watching Frank make Pigs in a Blanket.
Yeah.
Dude, that was nice last night.
They look good.
Yeah.
They look messy but cheesy.
French fry song.
Yep.
I sent TJ.
TJ, I sent you too.
TJ's snailing us.
Yeah.
He's kind of ruining the flow.
I have nothing else to talk about.
You should probably stop doing this.
You guys had Hawaiian fried chicken?
No.
No, what's wrong?
So I had it the other day.
It's so damn good.
What's the difference?
It's called Norita.
Is it chicken katsu?
It's dark meat fried chicken with gravy.
Ooh.
And what else was in there?
Do you have the coleslaw?
Do you like drumsticks of it?
Or like shredded?
Let me recommend this.
Put us onto it.
Mochiko chicken loco moco.
It's fried dark meat chicken, fried egg,
Hawaiian macaroni salad,
gravy, and white rice.
It's the best chicken I've had.
Best fried chicken.
Steven, are you going to throw up?
There's a chance.
If you throw up, you've got to throw up in here.
I don't think I will, but
I told these guys before we started, so there's
a chance I do. Why? What happened?
It was just a lot of food. It was very good, but
it was just a lot in a short period of time.
Oh, Jen Simons is here.
Hello.
What the frick?
That's great.
If you didn't say anything, I think I would have just completely forgot that she doesn't work here anymore.
I'd just be like, oh, I haven't seen you in a while.
What the frick?
The hell is going on here?
Her and Owen are doing a pod.
Comeback season.
Yeah.
Where does Owen sit now?
I haven't seen him.
Upstairs?
Yeah, I think upstairs.
Got it.
Oh, yeah, this one's great.
This is a quote tweet.
I was part of a suicide prevention support group when the year began.
Yesterday, we lost another member.
There was 18 of us, and now there's only five remaining,
and someone quote tweeted, damn, y'all suck.
Oh, my God.
Brutal.
That's good.
Brutal.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Kind of true.
Oh, no.
That's good.
Not the best of work group.
This is what Twitter didn't expect when they asked for favorite treats.
This is a classic.
It was Peter King when Robin Williams died.
Milwaukee asked restaurant host,
God, did you hear about Robin Williams?
Host, no.
He died.
He killed himself.
I always forget that that format started off as real.
Yeah.
That's how he writes.
Yeah.
Story from Milwaukee made a waiter cry.
You know, but you do know that's a top feeling to break that type of news to someone random.
Terry Rozier, Osama should have hooped instead of trying to kill people because he's tall as hell.
Yeah, NBA players have some top ones.
Yeah.
They do.
Yeah, I almost threw in the Kevin Durant that tweeted like that. You ever. It was like hashtag you ever just sit.
I'll send it in.
I'm trying to remember it.
He was like a rookie in OKC.
Just bored is bored out of his mind.
Oh, he's always like tweeting about being like lonely and stuff.
And horny.
Yeah.
So there's a Twitter account that only screenshots NBA players movie takes.
And it is so fucking good. Oh, geez. There's a Twitter account that only screenshots NBA players' movie takes,
and it is so fucking good.
Oh, jeez.
It's all just LeBron and Godfather.
This one was deleted.
Aaron Revell calling me a racist is cute on this day especially.
I have one of the largest Arthur King Jr. collections in the world,
and some of my closest friends are black.
Why did he delete it?
I don't know.
I think it was the friends part, but I don't think he realized that being like, I'm not racist. I own all of Martin Luther King's memorabilia.
Why did he use Mike Tyson face paint for the Northwestern?
No idea.
And still, the memorabilia that he was last year that he bragged about and
it was literally uh martin luther king having to sign in and out of like jail yeah it's like
check out this signature i got what the fuck i also don't think he has black friends no no no
no no but it says right there he does yeah but he deleted it but he did delete it
so maybe he was about to get called on it yeah because we know he has a martin luther king
memorabilia someone just replied name four he was like
i guess i'll delete it irone
yeah two truths and a lie yeah i have a lot of lot of... I have a lot of Martin Luther King reminiscences.
This is just Lamar Jackson when Apple introduced 123 new emojis.
That was damn good.
He said, why the buddy pregnant?
Why the buddy pregnant?
Yeah, so innocent.
I have no idea what he was talking about.
Why the buddy pregnant?
What the fuck is going on here?
That one actually runs through my head a lot.
Me too.
Just the line, why the buddy pregnant?
So fucking funny.
Why the buddy pregnant?
Yeah, this is the real one.
Which Titus, you have to tweet.
All right.
I tweeted it.
I got to tweet it on Friday.
A lot of retweets.
I'm pretty sure I backed out on the show.
Yeah.
Why don't you just narrate it for the people right now?
I'll read it.
Yeah, put it on.
I'm getting there.
When you masturbate, think about my tongue or your clit and switching back and forth
from my dick to my tongue.
I think he meant to say tongue on your clit, right?
Yeah.
Did he pull it up? Or your clit. When you masturbate, think about my tongue on your clit, right? Is that a textbook? Pull it up?
Or your clit.
He meant to say my tongue on your clit.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, it's on my tongue.
But it says my tongue or your clit.
Because I don't know why would she think about his tongue or her clit.
She's thinking about my own clit.
Yeah, why would she be thinking about her own clit?
Think about your clit.
I just love that he was like, I got hacked.
That's such a ridiculous thing to do.
How do you accidentally tweet something like that?
I know what happened.
I do too, yeah.
What happened was back in the day, you could text your tweets.
I remember, yeah.
If you texted to this number, it would tweet stuff.
Because this happened to me, but it wasn't that.
I responded one time to a DM because I had text notifications on
where if someone DM'd me, it would send a text message to my phone.
And then I replied to the text thinking that if I reply to this text,
that will send a DM.
But instead it posted it on my Twitter.
Mine was like innocuous.
It was like, yeah, man, sounds good or something.
But then I got on Twitter later and I posted just a tweet that said, yeah, man, sounds good, that I had thought was a DM because I had replied via text.
So I'm assuming that's what happened to him was he got a text that he was. There also was used to be a feature that if you DM you could you could type the letter D in front of the tweet and it would send us a DM.
Yes.
So people would fuck that up.
Oh yes.
God.
Twitter was wild.
I mean it's like the Chargers account.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Chargers.
The actual team official Chargers account used to be run by one guy who in like, yeah, he would tweet shit like this.
And to that so hungry need to find my wife and head to P.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
This is why I get I get kind of upset when you complain about Twitter.
And then there's like a group of people that will will step up and say, like, nothing's really changed. And I go crazy because Twitter is unrecognizable.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's not even close to the same thing.
It used to be the Wild Wild West.
Yeah.
And the fact that you couldn't even do images or videos or anything,
you literally had 140 characters and that was it.
Yeah.
It made it awesome.
It made it the best.
That was the official Fort Bragg Army account. 40 characters and that was it. Yeah. It made it awesome. Made it the best.
So it was the official Fort Bragg army account.
It's run by like a PAO,
like an EO,
like a Sergeant level guy normally.
And he got his two accounts mixed up,
like his personal and Fort Bragg's.
And he was messaging back and forth with an only fans model all day long from the official Fort Bragg account without realizing it.
And it was the same thing where he's like my face,
then my boner, then my face again
before I come up to give you a long, deep kiss.
And it was all from the official Fort Bragg Army account.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's awesome.
Yeah, and people are like,
somebody better come get their fort.
It's like, it's a fort.
Yeah.
We know what Jerry's number one tweet all time is, TJ?
Kate, did you send me the website?
For who?
Jerry.
Jerry.
No, I didn't do Jerry's.
I should have.
I did everybody on the usual.
The main crew.
I had an airport one that went viral like two weeks ago.
Which one was that?
I actually almost got canceled for that.
I saw that.
You took a picture of a guy.
Yeah.
People were not happy.
What did you do?
I mean, I don't know, dude. They made a racial racial and just had no means of being racial what was it i i i remember what was there was a guy
standing in line for his flight and he was decked out in a bunch of very like luxury high-end brands
and accessories why is that racial and And Jerry just pointed out that he...
What's the point of doing all this just for a flight?
Who came after you for that?
Oh, yeah.
You're uncancellable.
Probably by now.
Probably not.
Yeah, not now.
I don't want to give you the false confidence there.
Jerry actually has a timer on his Twitter.
It's a 30-second timer.
Like, are you sure you want to send this?
Jerry proofed his phone.
I love that feature.
I saw it in action.
We were at the first four game, and he lost a bet,
and he wanted to fire off a tweet about how some kid on Texas Southern
is a piece of shit or something.
I was like, why don't you hold off?
Then he hit send, and he was like, yeah, maybe I shouldn't.
It's good.
It's a good feature.
That was funny.
It is a good feature.
It really is.
Yeah.
Because there would be some stuff you tweet that you don't want to tweet.
Oh, I've tweeted stuff while I'm here that I shouldn't have tweeted,
but I deleted it.
Yeah.
So then no one will be able to find it.
Exactly.
What were your guys?
Did you guys send any?
Yeah, I sent mine.
You sent yours, KB?
I'm trying to think of what they are.
All right, so whose is this?
I sent this.
When someone is asking for over $250 million guaranteed,
the Lamar Jackson games like this should not come to
justin tucker justin tucker let lamar walk and spend that money on a well-rounded team boy shut
the fuck up y'all be capping too much on this app motherfucker never smelled a football field
never did shit but eat dick i do apologize for this oh my god i said it was homophobic i love
lamar jackson he goes he he just he He doesn't have much of a recognizable personality,
but then he will tweet something,
and you're like, yep, I like this guy.
I had a buddy pregnant.
It's no sense.
Got more, TJ?
Do you guys want to see your top tweets? Yes, I do. Okay. No. Some of them are. I you guys want to see
your top tweets
yes I do
okay
no
some of them aren't there
I don't want to see
in order to go
in order to get a top tweet
you kind of had to like
fornify yourself
appeal to the masses
I don't want to see
mine at all
I want to see some of my
that was
J.D. McCoy
it was the day it came out
yeah
Za
did you spoil Avengers Za
oh
what
did you
no
no wait what did I do
I didn't do anything
I thought you did
did I I thought you? I didn't do anything. I thought you did. Did I?
I thought you did.
I didn't tweet anything.
For some reason, I think.
Huh.
Kevin Durant, you ever wake up in the middle of the night and think about a girl you like
or starting to like and sit at the edge of the bed and say, damn, I want her?
NBA player at that point. Yeah. Yeah, Kevin Dur bed and say, damn, I want her. NBA player at that point.
Yeah, Kevin Durant would say,
didn't he have one about drinking bath water?
Scarlett Johansson.
Scarlett Johansson, yeah.
I did.
You spoiled Avengers?
No, I retweeted the McCoy tweet.
Oh, you did? Okay.
I love this one
what is this read it
I used to have this Hannah Montana pillow that I used to pour
milk on and suck the milk back out
and it was sopping wet all the time I used to
slam it against walls and it would make a loud
what the fuck
what
yeah
yeah
yeah and her pillow was obviously
too beaten up to even post a picture.
You've got to stalk him.
Make a loud fight.
Can you pull up the Zach Fox one that I did?
Oh, yeah.
This is how photos be looking at headlines when a white man kills his own wife.
People quote tweet that all the time, too, because it is true.
It's so true
that's fucking
great
let's see our
top ones TJ
I don't want to
see my top one
come on
Sass
Sass you've had
some bangers
I don't even
think it's a joke
had the most
like tweet of
all of us
whoa
which one it is
yeah it wasn't very good.
This is Zaz.
He's got that dog in him.
Wasn't that the guy grabbing butt while he was watching the tournament or something?
I didn't include the things.
You can't even see it.
But Zaz's second most liked one was when he got his food caught in the subway door.
Oh, that was hilarious.
That was so funny.
That is fucking hilarious.
Rode it all the way to New Jersey.
People loved that.
Just check the Santa tracker.
He's at our house right now.
Fuck my life, man.
So fucking gay.
I know, dude.
I hate it.
I hate myself.
Go viral on Twitter.
You really had to stoop low. It's three years ago. How old was I? 14? This one's mine. Read it. I hate myself. Go viral on Twitter. You really had to stoop low.
It's three years ago.
How old was I?
14?
This one's mine.
Read it.
Ladies, take notes.
Met this girl online yesterday, and she's already trying to learn more about me.
Not just hook up.
It's called conversation.
Learn it.
It's like, what's your mother's maiden name?
What's the name of this girl?
That's good.
Yeah, nearly a million likes.
Damn.
Crazy.
Holy shit. What'd you do with all those likes? Do you still have them? I got a million likes. Damn. Crazy. Holy shit.
What'd you do with all those likes?
Did you still have them?
I got a dollar per.
Blew it all.
Yeah.
Of course.
That might be a Trump tweet.
He was raw dogging the eclipse.
Oh, yeah.
Go ahead, KB.
Oh, Kyle.
Sorry, KB. Read it out loud that's it
please get a job my mom desperately cries from outside my room as i strategically photoshop an
image of something i like on the crusty crab or something i dislike on the chum bucket, she's completely oblivious to the amount of retweets.
That's Kyle.
Kyle, that's a good tweet.
You fired it off at 10 a.m. too.
It's a good-ass tweet.
I'm a Twitter traditionalist,
so I like top tweets that have no images or no...
Yeah.
Just 140 characters and... You didn't need anything else. You didn't need anything else. Yeah. I like top tweets that have no images or no. Yeah. Just 140 characters.
You didn't need anything else.
You didn't need anything else.
Yeah.
I think all of my tweets have images.
I like the, if I go to a, if I pay for it.
This is it.
Yep.
This is like a few days ago.
I know.
You had a bunch of good ones, but this one, oddly enough, took the top spot.
And your top dog's only 60K?
Yeah, damn.
Showering and hand washing and using a washcloth.
All those topics right now are hot, hot, damn. Showering and hand washing and using a washcloth. All those topics right now are hot, hot, hot.
I thought it would be the Trump when he was raw dog in the eclipse.
Everyone had the special gloves.
Oh, that was so fucking scary.
That was like one of the funniest things.
It was such a boss move.
Is he getting arrested today?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he might be.
Maybe.
I think this is like the funniest thing of all time.
Him getting arrested.
He's like, just so you guys know, I will be getting arrested on Tuesday.
Yeah.
So funny.
Gotta get out ahead of it.
There's a group of Trumpers forming what they're calling a mobile moat of cars around his house in Mar-a-Lago right now.
They're forming a moat to protect him.
I don't know if he's there.
I thought, yeah, maybe getting arrested in New York.
I don't know.
I overheard Billy being like, well, the Secret Service has to fight for him.
Like he was playing in his head like some battle royale.
Yeah, they dedicated their lives.
Yeah.
Why are they arresting him?
I got a couple more I want to say.
I wish I had a better top tweet.
Why are they arresting him?
I know.
So I should have included because a lot of you guys' tweets under those were really great.
So you just wanted to embarrass them.
What's your top tweet?
Yeah, why isn't yours up there?
It's there somewhere, but I don't think it's very good.
The Stormy Daniels story.
Oh, but what about it?
I think
there might have been some inconsistencies.
He lied or something.
What if it's not about football and Tom and Jill just getting divorced for the usual reason things the kids did wrong?
That's funny.
That's a good tweet.
Yeah, that's why you did this.
Yeah, yeah.
Look how funny mine was.
Showdown.
The best one, like you said, are as brief as possible.
As brief as possible.
Still funny.
That was the beauty of Twitter, and that was why Twitter took off.
If you wanted all that other bullshit,
you went to other social media sites
and Twitter was just like funny people
trying to make jokes with very few characters.
And then here we are.
Yeah, here we are.
Same as everything else.
It really is.
Now you can tap.
Some people have like super long tweets
I've been seeing.
Oh yeah, the people who write novels.
Show more.
Fuck that.
The point is that we don't have to read.
Yeah.
Why are they doing that?
It started as a micro-blogging service, right?
That was the idea.
It was called micro-blogging, and now it's...
I don't think I've ever tweeted without a picture.
DJ, I sent you two more.
One of them, you can be the judge if you want to.
Oh, this one is classic.
I spilled baked beans all over myself
watching Cars 2 in theaters
and a black teenager shouted,
this dude eating beans and everyone laughed.
Oh, that one's a classic.
That is banger.
That is so good.
The dude remained on screen.
Yeah.
I had the Trill Withers one too
Where
It's like
Don't worry bro
She's just having a little sex
I'm sure she'll text you back
Oh
He's got a text
That's back when like
A viral tweet
Would have like
More retweets
Than it would like
Likes
Yeah
Yeah
People weren't selfish
No
People were throwing
A little more
Yeah
Loosely
This would have been Trash on 9-10-2001 weren't selfish. People were throwing it at the reed sheet a little more loosely.
This would have been trash on 9-10-2001
as well as trash.
You have that?
Oh, never mind.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Holy fuck.
When Trill Ballins tweeted,
he changed his name
on Twitter.
TJ, that was the one
I sent you.
TJ, that was the one I...
Fat farm. Oh, sorry. I meant Trill Ballins, not Trill Withers. TJ, that was the one I sent you. TJ, that was the one I. Fat farm.
Oh, sorry.
I meant Trill Ballins, not Trill Withers.
Yeah, Trill Ballins.
Pull up the one that I sent.
Are you thinking.
Image of the one I sent.
Is it the one that I'm.
Yes, it's the one you're thinking of.
It's the best tweet ever.
I miss Trill.
Everything is good.
Oh, yeah.
All of his characters.
Oh, he's the best.
He was the best
I might just pull up that
pull up that image
of
yeah
someday I'll come back
that was so good
that was the one
in 10 2001
everything is good
with the kid rock
that's my favorite tweet
of all time
the characters that he took.
Diagonal Walker.
Diagonal Walker was one of my favorites.
Adnan Schefter.
TJ Maxx shopper.
Or TJ Maxx buyer.
Buyer.
Naperville Cubs fan.
He took over for the intern Troy account for a while.
Yeah, he did.
Not many people know that.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, that's one of my favorites.
All ready for tonight on Halloween.
Take one bag of spice.
Yeah, it used to be so much more fun.
Damn it.
Do we want to do the WWE 2K23
Yeah
It's out
Who's today
We've seen the set
For Friday's show
Friday's show is going to rock
It's going to be incredible
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pick up or download WWE
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do you want to just show the finished product
of who we're getting today TJ?
the what?
the finished product of who's
characters
we got two more
you can just show them walking out
let's do KB characters. Yeah, we got two more. You can just show them walking out.
Yeah, let's do KB.
What's your guy's name, KB?
I think...
Oh my god!
Is your guy white as hell too?
Oh no!
KB did what?
Is that yourself?
Not yourself.
I couldn't figure out the controls.
Default.
You have the worst hand dexterity out of anything.
I could not figure out the...
I was actually doing it with Steve.
He was like, KB had no idea how to use it.
Yeah, nothing.
Your guy looks badass, though.
Damn.
Very ripped.
Staring people down.
He's like a referee in Indianapolis.
What?
Yeah, I don't know.
Oh.
Oh, he's a dick.
Oh, he just went at the crowd.
Mean guy.
Nipple placement's a little weird.
Wide.
Very wide.
Yeah.
Yeah, those nipples are...
Did you do the nipples?
No.
KP.
That is Kyle.
Then who else we got?
This is Lil Sass.
Lil Sass. Oh my God. Sass. You Little Sass. Little Sass.
Oh, my God.
Sass.
Wait, you made his stats really good.
Yeah.
I didn't know I could.
Yeah, I did.
I did do that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, a two-finger.
Whoa.
That's horrible.
That's cool as hell.
What's his name, Sass?
Superstar.
Superstar.
It was the default name.
I was like, I'm going to keep it as that.
Yeah.
Whoa. Are you in a flare or something?
Are you seven feet, six hundred pounds?
He's seven feet tall and he's a hundred pounds.
That's Ravel's face.
Barron Trump is seven feet.
Did you see his recent picture?
He's seven feet tall.
Big Cat, I don't ask for much.
Can you hire him yeah i really want
to he's so tall he's so tall happy but we missed his birthday i know birthday was yesterday we
don't have roan here show the picture i said the act chat he is so tall real really he is So tall. Really? He is. What is that? What height is that? That's 6'10 minimum.
Minimum.
Yeah.
Does he hoop?
He plays soccer.
He plays soccer and he's not good.
Oh, is he not?
Well, it's hard to be good at soccer when you're seven feet tall.
Yeah, when you're that tall.
He's far away from the ball.
Soccer's a short man's game.
It is.
Look at him.
Wow.
That's fucking huge.
He's 5'11". I want to hang out with him
I do too
I bet you he's hilarious
It'd be great to have in our crew
Yeah
Just chilling with Barry
Go back
Because I want to
That woman is 6 feet tall
But really
She's probably
5'1
I see it
That's
Two
That's at least two feet.
Yeah, how tall does she have to be?
Maybe she's 4'10".
He's 6'10", at least.
I mean, look at the size of his thumb.
How tall does she have to be for him to not be 6'10"?
You know what I mean?
She has to be maybe like 4'3".
Yeah, he should hoop.
Yeah.
Him and Bronny on the same team.
Bronny, that's what I was going to say.
We need a replacement for Brandon on the yak. Yeah. Probably racist Brawny on the same team. Brawny, that's what I was going to say. We need a replacement for Brandon on the Yak.
Yeah.
Probably racist.
Dad got arrested.
We do.
If it's the mold.
Yeah.
Brandon, sorry, buddy.
We got Baron.
Is what it is.
Nothing we could do.
Nothing we could do.
I'm down for that.
How old is he? 17esus christ right isn't he somewhere i don't know 17 hey have the mean girls come in yet yeah they're here and what happened
uh i think they're just chatting in a side room they're planning the next clip
yeah i saw them walk in and I was excited for my first
barstool fireworks
that I would witness. It kind of never happened.
Yeah, they just kind of walked in. You didn't talk to Kelly?
I haven't seen Kelly.
I didn't know if she was here. I didn't see her today.
I don't know. I think it had its day. People
had fun and now it's just like
waiting for Francis to fuck up now.
It's what you do.
I want to see fireworks.
Yeah, I kind of did too.
I wanted to.
See hair pulling?
Yeah.
Oh, Jerry.
Boy, Jerry.
Jerry.
Down, boy.
Down.
Demon time.
That'll be fun.
Demon time, Jerry.
I heard they're all in their periods right now, too.
Oh.
They're all synced up.
Yeah, they're all synced up.
What is, like, Barstool even doing?
That's the only syncing they're using.
Women fighting?
Yeah.
I don't know.
We need to get some women security guards.
Yeah, like, because we can't touch them.
Correct.
You posed that like a question.
You know what I mean?
We can't touch them. Correct, yeah. Yeah. That is true. was that like a question? You know what I mean?
We can't touch him. You're correct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is true.
Kate would have to do something.
Yeah, you would.
Kate would have to break him up.
You have to do the cooler,
the John Taffer cooler.
When he gets a cold dish rag
and he puts it on the back
of someone's neck
when they're fighting.
Crack a nooner on him.
If you're like fighting
for your life, I don't know if that would stop you.
But when he showed it, it worked.
Pepper spray?
Yeah, I think it would work.
John Taffer cooler.
One-third of the Mean Girls, right?
What is the legacy of Bar Rescue as you think on it?
Is it the butt funnel?
Butt funnel.
What a show that was. Is it still on? Yeah. What a... I'm trying to think what else. What a show that was.
Yeah, I've...
Is this still on?
Yeah.
What a show that is.
I've been on two episodes.
It's the crowning achievement of my life.
Do you know the episodes you were on?
Do you know what the bars are up to now?
I don't.
I do.
I will every now and then, like once, probably twice a year, someone will be like, I loved
you on Bar Rescue.
Yeah.
That's what they know you from instead of...
Every time I walk by that,
is it the Triple Ale House?
Is that what it's called right there?
It feels, the bar across the street here.
Triple Crown.
Triple Crown.
Triple Crown.
It feels like,
like every time I walk by,
I feel like I'm seeing an establishing shot
for Bar Rescue.
Yes.
That feels like,
the outside of that place
feels like a bar that's about to be
It looks like B-roll.
Yeah, John Tavish sitting in an SUV across the street.
Is Paramount going to get us for this?
They sure are.
Oh, look at you.
Yeah, it was a lot skinnier, too.
Fuck.
Damn it.
I did one with Chris Long in St. Louis.
We had Reuben Nachos.
Don't really think those made the menu cut.
Reuben Nachos.
Yeah, that sounds awful.
Yeah, no, it wasn't good.
That's a funny alter ego to have.
Maybe I'll make that my wrestling title.
Yeah, Reuben Nachos.
He's like a Jewish luchador this was Dave look at look at Dave
free money Dave offensive brute
10 years ago was it exactly 10 years
ago 13 I's the guy
with the mustache
yeah
that's you
that's Titus
all of the classic videos
are coming up on 10 years
this year I think
damn
I think the pizza
and the hamburger
at the Big Ten Championships
just passed 10 years
yup
and this is also the trip
we did
we did the arm wrestling
we arm wrestled women
I fucking
I fucked him up
It was awesome
Not surprising
Dave got worked
He was complaining
That they made him
Do too many curls before
Like it's not fair
I went in there
And just
Beat him all
Felt great
I think you guys
Should go back to a
Renaissance fair
For the ten years
Of King Richards
That or the bobsled
If we did the bobsled.
If we did the bobsled again, it'd be funny.
When you guys first started on Twitter, was it immediate fan interaction, or did you have to work for that?
It was pretty immediate, but it was also... I remember vividly that back in the day, it was
the same 25 people would reply.
I knew who they were.
Some of them probably died.
Yeah.
I should have hopped on Twitter earlier.
Yeah.
But maybe those takes wouldn't be great.
That's a good point.
That's true.
You're still kind of wrestling with the whole
we can't touch women thing.
No, I understand that part of it.
Do you?
Yeah, dude.
I'm a good guy.
They started brawling right here.
Would you try to break it up?
Nah.
Wouldn't touch it?
No.
Let him go at it.
Where do you even...
Would you watch?
Yeah.
Would you video?
That might be my favorite tweet.
You remember the guy at the Whataburger with the tap-out shirt, the fat guy who was challenging everyone and then just gets awkwardly taken down by some nerd?
No.
Fuck.
Whataburger fight.
You got to find it.
That sounds awesome.
I loved watching old fight videos.
Kimbo Slice back in the day.
Just be in a backyard in Florida somewhere, just beating the fuck out of someone.
He's dead, right?
Yeah.
He is.
Legend of the game.
Was Dada5000 at Rough and Rowdy?
He was.
Dada5000 was in one of the most famous fights ever where he died like five times.
He just kept on laying down because they were so
tired. Then they'd get up,
fight a little more.
Look at Corporate Hank with his vest on.
He's a vest guy now.
He's just a Wall Street
bro.
I think you know a guy
who changes everything.
Oh, here we go. Is this it?
Yeah.
I asked you for a cheeseburger.
I'm sorry, what do you think?
I asked you for a cheeseburger.
You want to scream at me?
I asked you to go.
You want to scream at me?
I asked you to go, though.
You want to scream at me?
Don't scream at me.
Hey, don't fuck with me, motherfucker.
I'm going to leave you. I asked you for a cheeseburger. He does get pants.
Oh, no way.
Oh, it's hilarious. I've never seen this.
Yeah, me neither. I said shut up.
Oh, really?
Just like you talk about listening.
Come in and party with me.
I'll smash this fucking drink down your face.
A little sausage bar.
A little chicken stew.
A little chicken stew.
A sausage bar and three chicken stew. I wish I didn't know the ending.
This is awesome.
I just had a French fry
and a cheeseburger.
Tell this man to get the fuck
out your restaurant.
This guy sucks.
Right?
That's not true. That's not true.
That's not true.
That's not true. You all over those french fries, boy! Shut up! You fucked with the wrong mother fucker, dude!
I'll fuck you in this restaurant!
I swear to God I'll whoop you in this restaurant!
Don't fuck with me!
Don't fuck with me!
Don't fuck with me!
Fuck you!
You know what I mean, man?
I'm gonna fuck you in this restaurant!
Oh my God.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Is he going to tap?
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, that was... I thought it was going to be like he knew Jiu Jitsu or something
that other guy is like an absolute
dork
those pants went right down
no underwear
that guy is he
the biggest loser in the world
the biggest loser
that was awesome.
Yeah, those pants.
Every time I see shorts like that, I just want to pants them.
Those videos are so good.
Nothing funnier than a pants and getting the boxers too.
The dick flop out.
Yeah.
Public freak out.
They're just so good.
The best.
The I'm not afraid guy.
Yeah.
The worst rapping in the airport. Oh, so good. The best. The I'm Not Afraid guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The first rapping in the airport.
That was so good.
Come on, everybody.
It has like a sadder backstory.
Oh, no.
The guy is like pretty open about it.
He has like bipolar freak outs often that he can't control.
Another L for sass on watching your videos.
He's saying a whole M&M song.
Actually on life support right now.
Saying he's not going to make it.
That kid who did get shot with the hamburger.
Yeah, that was actually, I sent that to TJ.
He wouldn't play it.
Man.
That was a tough day for you.
It was a really bad day.
Really bad day.
Like start to finish.
You went to the hospital in the room and sat next to him, held his hand.
I don't want another hamburger.
You got this, man.
You got to pull through, man.
Kate, did you miss your appointment?
No, it's not until 3, and I've – if I take the – I'll make it back in time.
Where is it?
In New Jersey?
Yeah, it's in Jersey.
What's the train schedule?
There's a 220-something.
It gets back at 358.
Oh, wait, 258.
Or it gets back at 258, and then the place is right across from the train station.
So I think if I hoof it, I can do it.
Thank you, TJ.
You're going to miss it.
Yeah, 220 is in, what, 10 minutes?
Yeah, you're really close.
I like that video. 229.
My dad's orthodontist died when he was a kid
and he just still has his retainer in the bottom of his teeth.
What?
Your dad has
his retainer in the bottom.
He hasn't been able to get it out. I think he just
hasn't done it. You still have one, right?
Don't you, Kyle? The bar. Is it bad?
No, I think it's just like air.
Huh.
I have to go to the dentist tomorrow.
I've done this to myself before.
I think I did it again where he told me I had cavities six months ago and I just didn't
get them fixed and I think I'm going to have to have them again.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I've done this before.
I'm there right now.
Yeah, it's the worst.
I remember we were talking about this and you guys were asking if it hurt?
It started hurting this weekend.
Yeah, mine started to hurt this past weekend.
I was like, oh, fuck.
Yeah.
I did it again.
I have one too and I'm just like, I just don't need cold water anymore.
Yeah.
Just give that up.
Lukewarm is way better.
Hot is starting to taste really good.
But not too hot.
Yeah. Yeah, that's really stupid of me
I can't believe I've done this again
fuck
maybe it'll be fine
oh look at this
Ronnie and Baron
imagine that
little fucking two man game
yeah I'm picturing the poster
that you guys used for the PMT art this last show.
Yeah.
The LeBron and D-Wade dunk in there.
Bronny and Baron.
It actually would probably be like the two of them together
would completely galvanize Ohio State basketball.
That would save Ohio State.
There's not a fan that doesn't get covered by that.
Yeah.
Combo. Yeah. I think you're right. I think that covers them all. Every fan gets it. There's not a fan that doesn't get covered by that combo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
I think that covers them all.
Yeah, I think that's... It'd be perfect.
That's a...
Their nickname is White Chocolate.
Yeah, that picked, right?
Two different words.
I need a Bronny and Baron version of that.
Yes.
Do we know anything about Baron?
No.
Uh-uh.
This is Roan's voice. Anything about him. Nothing-uh. We know what his voice sounds like.
Anything about him.
Nothing about him.
We need Caleb to do a Sunday conversation with him.
Oh, that would be so good.
Yeah, I bet you've got some thoughts.
It's like at the end of the day,
Donald Trump is still his dad,
so he's probably like,
oh, it's so annoying when he does this.
Yeah.
When he gets arrested today?
Yeah, that would probably be annoying. You think he's going to?
I don't think so. I think they delayed it.
Yeah they're not going to do it.
It's so stupid. I thought it was going to be funny.
Is Andrew Tate still in jail?
Yeah. I'm tweeting about it.
Doesn't he have lung cancer? And he has cancer too.
And also he's getting shamed because his hair's
grown and he's super bald.
I think he told everyone he was shaving it.
That shit is...
Dude, his tweets are so fucking funny.
Is it him?
I don't know.
I'd be surprised.
Probably not.
Jerry, have you looked into the Andrew Tate thing?
Yeah, I'm just not going to talk about it much.
Which side are you landing on?
Top G
I like how he's also hiding replies now
Oh no, that's
That's not top G
That's not top G
Because you can literally see that someone hit a reply
That's the first thing I look at
Yeah, when you see that button, you click it
Everyone does
I didn't even know that was a feature
It's the dumbest feature of Twitter And Twitter has some dumbass features When you see that button, you click it. Everyone does. I didn't even know that was a feature.
It's the dumbest feature of Twitter.
And Twitter has some dumbass features.
But when you see a tweet that has it, the first thing you do is go look at what it says.
And you know they made that feature.
When you click the three dots?
Some random person.
Oh, wow.
I'd reply.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's crazy. And it'll still show up, though. Yeah. All Oh, wow. I'd reply. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy.
And it'll still show up, though.
Yeah.
All right, Kate.
Are you leaving?
I'm leaving.
All right, see you, Kate.
Good luck, good luck.
Cowboys just signed Ronald Jones.
He sucks.
What?
Ronald Jones?
He wasn't even on the Bucs last year.
He was on the Chiefs.
He didn't get playing time there.
He's terrible.
Damn, I've never seen you be that negative about a guy.
He's not on my team anymore.
You can just roast him?
He stinks.
Tom Brady?
Great player.
He's not on your team anymore.
Yeah, but tell the truth.
You think there's a 1% chance Tom Brady comes back to your team? Greater than zero.
Probably less than one.
Damn, that's sad.
That's sad.
That is sad.
But, I mean, yeah, we've moved on.
We cut his guys.
He loves Lenny.
Lenny's gone.
Don Smith is gone.
Great.
Kyle Traston.
Kyle Traston Kyle Traston
Do you want to do the last ad?
Sass or KB should do it
Because they're wearing them, right?
Oh, hell yeah
They stand up
My lanky boys
You guys are looking extra tall today
Fellas, have you ever wished you were a little bit taller?
Maybe you matched on Tinder
But her profile says must be over six feet
Maybe your date wants to wear heels But she can't because it will make her taller maybe you matched on tinder but her profile says must be over six feet maybe your
date wants to wear heels but she can't because it will make her taller than you well we got the
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Look at this.
Look at KB.
Those are good looking shoes.
Good crisp white shoes.
Yep.
Way to stand?
Jerry, you're not wearing them.
Kyle and Jerry, can you guys both stand up?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Jerry.
This is going to look bad for you.
It's all right.
Oh my word.
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They're stylish, they're comfortable, and they give you two and a half inches.
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And that's got to pain you, Kyle, because when everybody buys them, you'll be back to square one.
I know, but that's, but that's good for the company.
Am straight.
Sass, you looked tall as fuck.
I know.
I felt tall.
Awesome, dude.
I want mine to come in.
Yeah, me too.
Che got the black ones.
He's the only one that got the black ones.
Only one.
Che could pull it off.
Talking about wrestling and tweets and presidents,
I just remembered this thread I found on Twitter not too long ago.
I sent to TJ, and I don't know if anybody saw this.
Of the Photoshop presidents?
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
It felt like something that would be up your guys' alley.
But I don't know.
I sent it to TJ.
Look how awesome george washington
looks mostly because i i yeah you can cut through yeah john i was cracking up i was
oh thomas jefferson okay james madison
i scrolled straight to Trump.
Trump is funny.
Yeah, I want to see Bush
and...
These guys don't matter.
Loser, loser, loser.
Taft is pretty funny.
That's badass.
Some of these look like they're just real.
Hell yes. Yeah. Some of these look like they're just real. Oh, Google.
Hell yes.
Yeah.
The two-time.
Teddy Roosevelt.
Monster.
Taft is funny.
Taft was the one who got stuck in a bathtub, right?
Yeah.
Brutal.
Oh, FTR's got legs?
Look at that
Yeah it would have been funny
If he was just
In the chair
Yeah
Kennedy looks like
Oh yeah
Yeah
Who's that
Who was right before him
I was
Jimmy Carter
Oh yeah
It made him look terrible
Yeah
How is he still alive
He still is
Bill Clinton looks good.
He's going today.
Shit.
He's going today.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Oh.
Oh, man.
Holy shit.
Trump cracks me up because look at his tits.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Those are enormous.
God damn.
He looks like Mr. Incredible. Yeah. Oh, my God. Those are enormous. God damn. He looks like Mr. Incredible.
Yeah.
Biden does look like that, though.
He should have presence to just win fights.
It would be an awesome way to decide if it was just a boxing match for president.
Was this done in AI or is this an artist representation?
I think it's AI.
Can we do what Big Cat would look like?
I think so, yeah.
I bet we could.
Let me try and find his search terms.
Maybe pick the picture of me with my belly in the Wisconsin sweatshirt.
Really get myself eefed up.
I did the one.
Remember I photoshopped you jacked?
Well, you could just find Buffcat.
Oh, yeah.
That is actually it, TJ.
You don't have to worry about it.
That's hilarious.
It makes me laugh every time I see him.
Buffcat.
Have you found his identity?
He hit me up and asked if he wanted to train me.
I was like, no, dude.
Don't.
He's already terrible enough. What's up, bro? You want to look like this? Yeah I was like, no, dude. Don't. This is already terrible enough.
What's up, bro?
You want to look like this?
Yeah.
No, thank you, sir.
Damn it.
Such a hunk.
I would just get tagged in everything.
What a beast.
I wish I had a better beard
Pretty good
Yeah
I want one of those
Like the movie
The movie
Stubble
Oh yeah
Those guys
That's a cheat code
Yeah
Jerry you got a little of that
When you shave
You grow your beard
In like two days
Two hours is back
Yeah
Crazy
Ben Affleck's got some good stubble
yeah where it's just like the stubble looks so good great stubble guy i need to get higher t
i've been squatting kyle really yeah doing the five by five you know that workout no you basically
start at like the bar and there's every every other, and every other day you squat,
and you just keep adding five pounds until you have to stop.
Oh, you're doing strong lifts?
Yeah, yeah.
You do have the app?
Yeah, do you do it?
Yeah, I did it for a while.
How strong did you get?
Strong.
Yeah?
It was the strongest I've ever been when I was doing it.
What did you top out at in your squat?
I don't know.
What?
Like 185.
That's good.
Yeah. I got to get back in the gym, dude. I feel like know. What? Like 185. That's good. Yeah.
I got to get back in the gym, dude.
I feel like shit.
Yeah, you do.
People have been saying
you look like shit.
Yeah, I do.
They're saying you look soft.
I feel soft.
I feel squishy.
I know.
You used to be strong.
I used to be hard.
I used to be a hard body.
You used to be a fucking beast.
Yeah.
What happened to you?
I don't know.
What are your fitness goals, would you say? If you could... Yeah, if What are your fitness goals would you say?
If you could
Me?
Yeah if you could work
What would you even be working towards?
Being
Becoming a hard body
Yeah
Becoming a hard body
Yeah just in general
Pretty easy
Toned
Hard body
Tone up
Fucking
Yeah
Shredded
People see you and they're just like
That's a hard body
Yeah
Looking good in a t-shirt
It's obviously not even that
It's more just like
When I like
Sometimes when I go up on stage,
I feel like I'm just...
There's a lot of me up on stage.
And I hate that feeling.
There's just too much of you.
There's just a lot of me
hanging around.
Yeah.
People are seeing
all different angles.
But are there any
jacked comedians
other than Joe Rogan?
Stefano.
Carrot Top, right?
But Stefano's not jacked.
Yeah, he is. He's jacked? I Stefano's not jacked. Yeah, he is.
He's jacked?
I think he's in good shape.
No, he's pretty big.
Really?
Yeah.
Chappelle?
He's hilarious.
Chappelle had that one special where he was fucking.
Dude, I was watching Chappelle's show last night on Netflix.
Just dicking around in my hotel.
And I put it on.
I haven't watched an old Chappelle show in forever.
And it was shocking how skinny he was.
I forgot how he just blew up in a
second dude chapelle has that one special where his shoulders are like fucking mountains insane
i respect that though he just got a farm in ohio and just got tom segura's jacked now what's he on
steroids but he has to be i do think there's something to that like being in great shape is
not funny at all right oh no you got it you can't so you's something to that. Being in great shape is not funny at all. Right. Oh, no. You can't.
So you got to be careful.
Francis is in good shape.
Not funny.
He's not funny.
He's funny.
I mean, I don't know.
I gave him a try, but it's like.
You just can't have it all.
You can't.
It's not.
People who have it all are like, you're just the best comedian.
You also are super good looking and jacked.
There's not a ton of really good looking
comedians. That's right. They're funny.
It had to be.
Who's the best looking comedian?
I don't know.
Schultz?
Oh, he's not for you.
Not really my type. I think Theo's cute.
Theo's good looking, yeah. He's with a mullet.
That's in right now.
Tommy Walker cut us off.
What?
No.
Yeah.
Brandon told us.
Is that why he's not here?
Well, we were hypothesizing when he told us that Brandon might have done it because of the events of this weekend.
Or Tommy might have done it because of the events of this weekend.
He didn't feel right anymore?
No.
He would be very Tommy to be like,
all right, guess I got to go get a job.
Someone's got to provide for this family.
Someone's going to have to pay for this $30 million house.
He just comes in in a suit.
Yeah.
Got the mullet.
Ready to roll.
No rush, Dad.
I'll work while you get back up on your feet.
I'm ready for this.
I would love if Tommy, like, Brandon got home from the weekend
and Tommy was just like, you fucking idiot.
What are you doing?
Sitting him down and just parading him.
Why are you so stupid?
You mentioned wanting to get your tea up.
Did you hear the story about Larsa Pippen yeah she fucks four times a day a night apparently a night while married for 23
years that's a lot of fucking that's awesome not hell yeah that's not awesome dude that's terrible
me i'm i'm i love fucking four times a night every night so for me that's cool four times
a night sounds four times a night every every night? For me, that's cool. Four times a night sounds miserable.
Four times a night, every night is hell.
But you have to remember that athletes have a lot of tea.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have high tea, so to me it's like, yeah.
Nothing.
Every time I fuck, it's a warm-up.
It's the last.
Yeah.
What if you go out to an Italian restaurant?
Fuck before and after.
Maybe in between as well.
Yep.
Rick Pitino, maybe.
Yeah.
Steven's just, that's, that was the first thing he thought of.
Like, they're never eating Italian food?
Yeah.
Are you going to be able to fuck after the KFC challenge?
Ooh.
Could you fuck right now?
Those several hours.
Right now, no.
Absolutely not.
Want to prove it?
Yeah, come in here and fuck one of us.
Try.
Spin the wheels. Fuck one of us. Try. Spin the wheels.
Fuck one of us real quick.
Try to fuck.
What do you mean no?
Like, you definitely could.
It just wouldn't be fun.
Right.
You wouldn't enjoy yourself.
If we said to you right now, you have to fuck or you die.
It'd be pretty hard, man.
Really?
I'd die.
But what if you were...
You guys can do that after like really full?
Fuck or die?
Yeah
But like yeah, it'd be terrible so unenjoyable feel full tummy you would not it Jay fuck or die
You're gonna be like I guess I'll fuck
Then I die yes, I'll do the most pleasurable thing on earth
No I'm saying if you guys go out to an Italian restaurant
You guys are fucking after that
I don't know what that means
The other option is death yes
No take the death out of it
What Italian restaurants
There are Italian restaurants that serve reasonable portions
You also have to have like
A big serving of lasagna
Every time I go to an Italian restaurant I get eggplant rollatini and I get sick after.
It's time to switch up the order.
Yeah, why don't you get something different?
It's delicious.
Do you have a gluten allergy, maybe?
No.
The pasta is...
I went to an Italian restaurant recently and I got gluten-free pasta.
It felt way better.
Yeah, you fucked all night.
Fucked all night.
You got gluten-free pasta?
Yeah, it tastes exactly the same.
Really? Yeah. Well, I also got a
lot of sauce and stuff, so I couldn't really tell.
I think the lady and the tramp dogs after that
spaghetti, they got it on. Yeah, that's true.
Exactly. It's a great...
They're different species. What is gluten?
I think it's wheat. I don't know, but it gives me a tummy ache.
Yeah, it's like wheat. Me too.
Should I go gluten-free? I'm not drinking beer anymore
and I'm not trying not to eat a lot of gluten.
It's supposed to make you drop weight very quickly if you can actually fully cut it out.
Well, partly because gluten, as it turns out, is in a lot of things that are just high carbs.
If you're cutting gluten, you're basically just doing a low-carb or less.
Practically.
You cut out beer, you cut out pizza out pizza and then voila you've just lost
it's also like we're we're consuming way more gluten than we're supposed to
right it's gluten man-made no billy was telling me the government um oh oh here we go this is
i guess i should cut out the gluten.
Do you guys get stomach aches a lot?
Every single day of my life.
There's just very little.
Oh, no.
There's no gluten.
Wow.
Like, what are you talking about stomach ache?
Every time I have a stomach ache, I just go take a shit.
I'm, like, almost always in discomfort.
What?
In my stomach.
Yeah, I saw Che, like, holding his stomach, and that feels like something I did when I was like...
I haven't done that since I was like seven, where I was like...
It's like when you hold your penis when you have to pee?
Yeah.
Physically?
I haven't had a stomachache like that where I'm just rubbing my tummy in public.
Laying down.
Yeah, you have been rubbing your tummy.
I mean, I did an eating challenge today.
How much did you eat?
I'm not supposed to spoil it.
I ate a lot in a very short amount of time.
It was delicious.
Spoiled.
Now you just spoiled the whole thing.
It was delicious.
But you guys are fucking on full tummies?
I have to, brother.
Well, I'm saying you don't.
You don't.
But isn't, like, a common date night a restaurant?
Wait, is that a thing?
Not for once.
Fuck when they're full?
What?
Is that a thing?
Why would you?
Wait, what?
If you got a full tummy, like full, full tummy, like a tummy ache.
Tummy full of poop.
If you're sick.
You have to shit.
I've never been like full and like, oh, I can't fuck.
Yeah, Jerry, do you fuck with full tummy?
Fuck yeah, with every kind of tummy.
Empty tummy, full tummy.
You don't want to see him fuck hungry.
Vicious.
Don't let me fuck hungry.
Even time.
Think about fucking right now.
Leave it and go fuck.
Yeah?
Aren't you going to seeay Going to come back after
Find a room
Not that way
What way
Not for me
Not for me
Not for me
It's okay to say you're not gay
Yeah you're not gay
Not for me
But if it were for you
Stephen Chay your type
No
I thought he was even an option Some thought came in your head right there Is even Che your type? No.
I thought he was even an option. Some thought came in your head right there.
Unpainted toes.
You've got to be thinking, though, Che is like,
he's not going to be the best fuck in the office because he's full tummy.
So full tummy, yeah.
So there are foods that are aphrodisiacs, though, Che.
Yeah.
Like oysters, sushi, and all that.
You can do that.
Sometimes a full tummy is what you're after.
You got to suck down a bunch of oysters and get going.
You eat oysters until you, like, got a tummy ache?
So, it sounds like...
I love that we're calling it a tummy ache.
What else would you call it?
Well, there's a different...
Okay.
Like, what about when you start feeling full, you stop eating?
You just stop eating, yeah.
Yeah.
Typically, yes.
So, yeah, I will agree with you, which is, I guess, how I'm learning your arguments work,
is that you just get beaten down into submission.
But I will agree with you.
If I eat until I'm going to vomit because I've eaten so much, I am not then in a position
where I want to have intercourse, no.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You ever fuck before dinner?
But if I go to an Italian restaurant.
It's not one plus one equals two.
I'll probably just like eat a reasonable meal.
Yeah.
Although I.
Not possible.
Not possible.
The bread.
Give some room for dick.
Yeah.
Hey, babe, why don't you cool it on the chicken parm?
I don't know if my dick's going to fit inside of you.
You've had so much goddamn chicken parm.
You must be stuffed.
Hope you left some room.
No more room for my dick.
Larsa Pippen was definitely lying.
That was definitely like, I want
to be cool. What's the number
that guys want to hear?
We're talking, her son's on a G League
team, right? Scottie Pippen Jr.?
That can't be fun.
No. Her mom would be like,
I fucked four times a night.
Who's she fucking?
We smoked weed with her.
Did we?
Yes.
Yeah, you did.
She was there?
Yes, she was with Antonio Brown.
No shit?
Yeah, we smoked weed with Larsa Pippen.
We were sitting at a table at Craig's in L.A.
Craig's, yeah.
And it was like last call, and Antonio Brown came in with Larsa Pippen
and asked the waiter, like, can we smoke some weed?
And the waiter, very cool move by him, was like, you have to ask them.
We were sitting at a different table.
And then they came over, like, can we smoke some weed?
We were like, yeah, if you give us some.
Yeah.
He had a blunt roller.
He had a blunt roller.
She came over.
She's like, what do you guys want?
That was her job.
Yeah.
It was like, I roll blunts.
Yeah.
I can do it for you guys, too, if you're hiring.
So you only have positive experiences with AB.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I only fucked Larsa three times that night, so someone else had to have fucked her.
You fucked her once?
Okay, there we go.
Now we figured it out.
Titus, you make love.
You don't fuck.
Yeah, I don't.
That mustache.
TJ, you want to spin the wheel?
Yeah, the AI art of you as a wrestler came back.
It's not good.
Uh-oh.
I don't know if you want to see it.
All right, let me see it.
Oh, no.
What the fuck?
I look like Doug's in...
Oh, my God.
Oh, God. What the fuck? I look like Duggs and... Oh, my God. Oh, God.
What the fuck?
I look like Fat Perez.
Hold on.
That last one was the...
That's the Fairleigh Dickinson coach.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That one's all right.
I can run it through again if you want to.
No, it's okay.
That's all right.
Yeah, let's get another one.
Run it through.
Run that picture through.
Use, like, the first just keep no oh worse
worse oh what the fuck that is fat Perez yeah legend of the game legend let me change the style
no we're good how does it how does it work TJ You uploaded just an image of... No, you just type in a prompt.
So I typed in Big Cat from Barstool Sports.
Oh, that's it.
I chose color portrait.
I got you.
I could do it as anime instead.
Yeah, do anime.
It's probably better.
It's fine.
Except you know anime.
They really go with the extremes, so you never know.
Oh, hell yeah.
That's pretty cool.
It doesn't look anything like me.
Yeah, your stomach has a face. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Doesn't look anything like me. Your stomach has a face.
Yeah.
It's frowning.
Oh.
My tummy ache.
It's a weird angle.
It looks like right now.
That rocks.
You look like that's a gay wrestler position.
He's like...
Is there a problem with that?
Yeah.
Jerry doesn't. Jerry doesn't. What, wrestling? No, gay wrestling. A wrestling there a problem with that? Jerry doesn't.
Jerry doesn't.
What, wrestling?
No, gay wrestling.
No problem.
I don't care.
Whatever makes you happy.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Jerry, if Trump gets arrested, are you going to go down there and fight?
Nah, I don't got the time.
Where is that happening?
I thought it was happening here in New York.
Is it around?
Yeah, I don't know. They postponed it because there was gonna be like riots and stuff instead of barricades i think
postpone it to never didn't oj it wasn't the oj chase because like there was the same thing where
like oj was supposed to turn himself in at a certain time and then yeah at the last minute
he's where yeah it's like i'll just getting a car. That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Not the murder thing.
No.
He didn't do it, though.
Legally, yes.
I like how his buddy AC has the exact same car, too,
and they just took his car.
Yeah.
So funny.
Broncos are coming back.
Yeah.
Need new ones.
It looks sick.
If you guys had to get away and hide out, where would you go and then who's driving?
I'm driving.
You're just yourself?
I'm a good driver.
You're just going solo?
Yeah.
I just go to the woods, I guess.
Yeah, the woods.
That's what I was thinking, too.
The woods.
Just woods it? You just go to woods somewhere? Don guess. Yeah, the woods. That's what I was thinking, too. The woods. Just woods it?
You just go to woods somewhere? Don't they have, like, dog sniffing things?
Dog sniffing things?
Would that be dogs?
Whatever, dogs.
Yeah, like, they'd pick you up pretty quick, no?
Nah, you just got to go through some water.
You got to get a river.
I'll just go upstairs.
Have you ever seen a movie?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you just go through water water I don't know how dogs
know this is work man
dogs can't track through water
they always run through a river
boom
problem solved
where'd you guys go
I'd come into
I don't know about you
I'd come into work
yeah probably
last place they'd expect you
I do have to get out of here
yeah let's spin the wheel
we gotta record today so
can't skip work
that was so awesome yesterday
having Brandon get wet
that was crazy
it wasn't rigged
a lot of accusations wasn't rigged? No.
A lot of accusations being thrown out.
It is the
justice of the wheel.
Are we even able to rig it if we wanted to?
Not on this website. It would be very apparent if it was rigged.
It would either be a pre-recorded video or a different website.
Look at that, TJ.
Fuck the haters.
Alright, so wait.
Tomorrow, I gotta build my wrestler
So Friday we'll have the three hour yak
Is it three hours?
We're gonna start recording after Thursday's yak
And finish around six
So like two and a half
Nice
Nice for the people
For the people
I got a Mincy song too
If you wanna watch that before we go
Yes
He's gonna do it He's going to do it.
He's going to win that 4K.
Run, Mincy, run.
We know you got the heart of a champion.
What?
Don't miss it.
Gonna finish that race sometime, baby.
Run, Mincy, run.
Raising all my money, all my kids with cancer.
Don't miss it. I love the format of run, name, runs.
It's like another character.
It's pretty good. Hell yeah. That was awesome. Who are these for? Who are those guys? If I had you, don't give a fuck. I'm gonna get it.
Today.
Hell yeah.
That was awesome. Who are these fools?
Who are those guys?
FloTribe on Twitter and Instagram.
Nice.
Thanks, FloTribe.
Mincy texted me that.
Yeah, it's gonna be stuck in my head.
Raising all money for the kids with cancer.
Run, Mincy, run
All right
White Sox Dave just texted me and said that
Getting a touch in the Chicago office
Huh
Touch tunes?
Yeah
Oh, no
That's going to be annoying immediately
Yeah, I don't know about
easy what's that i love the app you play music yeah it's a jukebox but you can connect to it
on your phone you spend like five dollars then you get as we could turn it off it'll be fun
yeah that's uh we had a jukebox in my cafeteria in high school.
The seniors got to control it.
The first week of being a senior, me and a couple of buddies, we played I Like to Move It, Move It.
We'd get there early and put like a thousand times.
Then every time during lunch, we'd just play I Like to Move It over and over.
It lasted like a week, and they removed the jukebox. i'm uh so i i sense that this is gonna be i've done that i i did that once where one night i just ever we went to like five or six bars and every single bar i played uh nickelback
rock star and put in like like fifty dollars and just replayed it yeah yeah those are never not
exploited yeah and it's very funny when it comes on like the 10th time.
It goes like funny, it's annoying, two through nine.
And then it's like, oh, that was funny.
I'm kind of getting confused as to why you guys would have a touch tune and not just get a speaker.
Good question.
You get the whole point of a touch tune so the bar can make money?
Yeah.
That's about $35 at work today.
My talk stage is definitely going to talk at this. Get a speaker. This is a's about $35 at work today. White Sox State is definitely going to pocket this.
Yeah.
It's going to be like a speaker.
This is a get-rich-quick scheme.
Yeah, here it is.
I'm part of the Touch Toons corporate team here in Chicago.
I just wanted to see if you and your office would be interested in having a Touch Toons
jukebox at your Chicago location.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I guess that's happening.
Wait.
He can just make decisions? Well, I don't think I have a choice now. He said yes. He said absolutely. Shit, well, I guess that's happening. Wait, he can just make decisions?
Well, I don't think I have a choice now.
He said yes.
He said absolutely.
Shit, I forget about that.
You can't say no after saying yes.
No, you're right.
You can say no first.
We learned that earlier.
It's going to be sick.
You guys can pay like five bucks to play a song.
Yeah.
Work.
All my money.
No headphones allowed.
Yeah.
Let's go into the jukebox.
Yeah, that really doesn't make sense None
That thing will not be
We'll have to unplug it
Rip it out of the wall
Okay see everyone tomorrow
And more wrestlers
And yeah Brandon may be back I don't know
Who knows who's to say
He's gonna do it he going to win that 4K.
Yeah!
Run, Mincy, run.
We know you got the heart of a champion.
Go, Mincy, go.
Going to finish that race sometime, baby.
Run, Mincy, run.
Raising all my money for my kids with cancer.
Go, Mincy, go. Got a heart and a stomach. I'm the champion. We'll see you next time.