The Yak - Lucas's Tight Pants HIJACK Popcorn Ribbon Cutting Day | The Yak 2-29-24
Episode Date: February 29, 2024One of the most random episodes of all time. 10X.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barsto...ol.link/barstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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the crewnecks the joggers and more with code yak brandon yes love the kicks yeah probably good for
basketball for leaping happy leap day man happy leap day to you yeah yeah yeah it is only comes around once every four years
that's crazy it's crazy uh titus buddy what the hell there is a shocking a shocking lack of respect
around this company oh gregory the 13th who i i assumed everybody knew this. I know Kyle did.
People were assuming you would dress up as a frog.
Yeah, this dumb bitch Julius Caesar incorrectly believed that there were 365.25 days in a year.
That is not the case.
And it took Pope Gregory XIII in 1582 to step in and say,
Julius, you dumb bitch.
Let me right your wrongs.
Let me invent the Gregorian calendar.
I thought I would pay my respects.
And I'm getting a lot of questions around the office as to what the holiday is.
And I don't know.
I feel like it's pretty obvious that it's sleep day.
So happy leap day, everybody.
Yeah, man.
Happy leap day to you.
And now that we got that out of the way.
All right, I'm going to go change.
I thought it had to do with the boy ass in his house.
That has to be what it was, yeah.
He's a costume.
It's Pope Gregory.
We use the Gregorian calendar on a daily basis.
Of course.
It's what we all have come to know and use.
Thank you, Kyle.
Yes.
You get it.
Is that your middle namesake, Kyle?
Yes. Wow. Yeah. Oh, I can Yes. You get it. Is that your middle namesake, Kyle? Yes.
Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, I can't even look at you.
So about last night, boys.
Yeah. Fun.
Yeah, had a good time.
Fun one.
Brandon.
Yeah, Barstool Comedy Night.
Brandon disappointed me.
He was good, and he wasn't nervous.
Yeah.
I was hoping for jitters.
I was hoping for, like, panic freakouts. You were just solid. I was't nervous. I was hoping for jitters. I was hoping for panic freakouts.
You were just solid.
I was crazy nervous.
A nice homage, Brandon.
Cool outfit.
That was unfortunate.
But we had a good time.
I tried to not do this for months.
I said, no, no, no, no.
I won't do it.
I won't do it.
I won't do it.
And then you guys made me do it. did it and it was it was it was fun it was a it was a lot of fun and you were just like i'm going to go up there say one joke then in between i'm just going
to say names of who's up next yeah you would get up there and keep going you were all back yep you
were having fun yeah you started feeling yourself yeah the mic you did a literal mic drop was that
accidental no i did that
on purpose okay i i just i don't know why i did it but in the moment i was like i'll just drop the
mic but that was that was an in the moment thing that wasn't like okay next time i go up i'm gonna
do a mic drop no the mic drop was i planned the bit but not the drop okay mook managed to embarrass
himself oh my god yeah tremendously yeah they asked if he had any other Eskimo bros, other famous Eskimo bros other than Mo Bamba.
Right.
Which isn't like an insult at all.
No.
He took it.
He took it.
And he said, uh, your fucking mother, implying that he fucked that guy's dad.
Yeah, he did a your mother rebuttal that was gay yeah yeah he made himself gay that
ended the whole show yeah that was it lights on yeah i don't know if i've ever heard your mom joke
fuck up that badly it was the way he a guy was like no no no it wasn't trying to shit on him
just like hey do you have any other famous eskimo bros he was like yeah yeah your fucking mother oh that's about you can't how do you fuck that up man i saw he missed his
connecting flight to miami did he yes yeah he's got his jeans on for nothing is that his fault
for missing a connecting or gotta be yeah you have to assume it's but how because he was in the last row of the plane
perhaps boy if he misses connecting to perth yeah i could put him anywhere well really just two
places but and he said it's 400 to get a flight now or he can wait till 6 30 this evening that's
what he's doing yeah huh yeah everybody uh he's going to spend more than $400 in the airport.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Good crowd, though, last night?
You said it was a good.
Well.
Mediocre?
Very mediocre crowd.
No, no, filled the floor.
I think that's just a testament to the first couple were just huge, extra sold-out crowds.
That was probably a normal crowd.
Yeah, I wouldn't take that personally.
And the other ones were Thursdays or Fridays.
This was a Wednesday night.
Yeah, Wednesday night seemed like the strongest night for comedy.
Certainly not.
The other thing is the other ones had guys,
you put their, on the, you know, the flyer.
Let me stop you there.
It was funny people who were big stars who command an audience.
So, like, I wouldn't take it personally.
I don't think people hated you.
It's just more that the other ones
had... They were confused.
People you get really excited about.
That was a once in a lifetime chance to see Big Cat
bump into you at
any Chick-fil-A.
It's pretty much only
Chick-fil-A. Although I did have Wendy's today.
That was crazy.
What are Wendy's doing? They're doing something?
They just made some nuggets.
They still do that real watery chili?
Well, first of all, we're not going to.
I love it.
Okay, good, because I think Wendy's chili is a tremendous item.
The chili you can drink.
Yeah, I like their chili, and yeah, they still do it.
99 cent cup.
It's really good.
Is it really good?
Well, you know, relatively speaking.
What's the number one item at Wendy's?
Is it the chili?
Spicy nuggets.
Or the spicy chicken sandwich.
I hate when people do that.
I think you just want attention at that point.
Now you're the weird kid at the lunch table.
Hey, it's good.
It's sweet and savory together.
It tastes good.
So Big Cat and Shay, I believe, are on the way back.
Should be here within the-
From Indy.
For like 20 minutes, 30 minutes.
Should be here by 1230th.
Yeah.
So we'll have them coming in.
Otherwise, what else?
Shay's going to be so giddy.
What?
Shay's going to be so giddy.
Oh, yeah, he had the Schefter picker yesterday, right?
I didn't know Schefter was that-
Is he borderline dainty? Schefter? Yeah, he's- He did looker yesterday, right? I didn't know Schefter was that. Is he borderline dainty?
Schefter?
Yeah, he's a small man.
He looks like a tiny guy.
He's a small man.
The Combine has started?
Yeah.
That's a question.
I believe it's starting.
It's starting today.
Now, I don't know if that means it has already started or if it's starting tonight.
Okay.
Because they've done this thing.
It's been in primetime a couple times.
I don't know what they're doing.
I don't know.
Because it dawned on me that I realized that they went to went to the combine they are now coming back from the combine and i
have not seen one single clip of any athlete they didn't see a rep so they didn't i don't think
they saw a rep i think they went shook hands yeah that's i mean chase not a small guy but he's also
not seven he's not a mountain of a man that's a a really good hug. It's not like Mount, I don't know, Fuji.
No, he's not Mount Fuji.
Or Mount Kilimanjaro.
Wait, where's that one?
That's South America.
Is that in South America?
Is that in Africa?
I confused it with Acon Gagwa.
He's not like K2.
Toto taught us that Kilimanjaro was in it.
Oh, you're right.
Oh, that's true.
It rises like a leprous above the Serengeti.
Was Toto named after the dog?
Uh, no, I think the, uh...
Whoa!
Oh!
Welcome back.
Welcome, welcome.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Pope Gregory.
Yeah, you get it.
Yeah, thank you, Dan.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Pope Gregory.
It's a pretty standard costume.
I was watching in the car.
I was like, who the fuck is that car how was the combine it was great how was chay that was chay we got some chay stories three hours in the car both ways we got some chay stories i'm gonna wait till he gets in here
because he's talking to the popcorn people uh oh yeah i mean i had to rush back for popcorn
yeah you really made good time.
I did.
You said an hour ago you'd be here about 1220.
I know.
We woke up early, did PMT, then got right in the car, rushed back so I could yak.
Love it.
Popcorn day.
Big, big day.
I was shocked by the size of that machine.
That's thrilling.
Do you want me to reveal it?
I think Chase is talking to them right now.
We have the ribbon.
And we have big scissors.
We do.
With big scissors.
Brandon, how many N-words did you say last night?
None.
Oh, I saw a picture that looked like it.
It looked like you were saying it.
It's like a dog with a bark in their throat.
I didn't realize you were saying it. It's like a dog with a bark in their throat. I didn't, that was a trick.
I didn't realize you did that outfit.
I didn't know I did it.
You didn't know?
I didn't know.
That would have been funny.
And TJ also texted me that.
I think we went up at, I'm going to say I went up at 815.
Yeah.
TJ texted me that image at 817.
Like he had been sitting, he had that one on deck all the time.
It was the first thing I noticed. I was like, oh, nice
maroon. Ah, nice
maroon. You didn't plan that at all.
You had eight outfits. I mean, maroon's a standard color
for me. Maroon's my number one color.
With the sleeves up. Maroon's your number one
color? Jeans? You know the maroon's my number one color. At the Laugh Factory?
Oh yeah, it's the worst. With the left
hand in that position? That's just
working. Feels like an homage.
I'm just standing there.
Feels like it.
Mine's straight out.
His is bent.
Maybe it's just
different angles.
Yeah, now that you
Same exact spot.
Yeah, I'm centered
the exact same way.
Okay, well,
maybe I'm a racist.
I'm proud of you, Brandon.
Thank you.
Not for the racism. What did I miss a racist. I'm proud of you, Brandon. Thank you. Not for the racism.
What did I miss?
What did I miss yesterday?
Anything?
There had to have been something.
I think it's blurred.
Oh, the fastest start ever to the gauntlet?
We thought we had an all-time gauntlet.
What?
Then it bogged down.
Who was it?
Comedian, Joey Avery.
He hit the first bag, the first soccer of the first home run.
Oh, my God.
I would have been freaking
Yeah, and then it slowed down
He was to football at 14 seconds
Jesus Christ
This guy an athlete?
Yeah, always in shape
Alright, Chase here
Steve, welcome back
You want some Chase stories?
Steven?
Yes, please
Okay
We'll start with one that I think that everyone knows yeah i think we've talked
about it on this show before um we actually would have probably made the start of the show
if steven che didn't have to check out of the hotel what oh he's one of those guys steven che
checks out of hotels 2024 man we were walking out out of the hotel, and I was like, where is Che?
And Hank's like, he said he had to check out.
I don't even know what that means anymore.
You just return your key?
Yeah, like that was when you actually had like.
You go to the front desk, you give him your key, and you're like, thanks.
And they ask you for your receipt.
Do you think they get pissed off when you ask to check out?
Because they do.
You don't have to check out.
Did none of you guys check out?
No.
I haven't checked out in like 10 years.
The last time I ever checked out of a hotel was like when it was, if you stay at like
an Airbnb and it's the actual key that like opens the door, the metal key.
Yeah, I don't check out.
I asked you if you checked out and you said you did.
No, I didn't.
I think I said, I think I said no.
Like, what are you talking about?
Oh.
Who checks out?
I thought you were supposed to.
So you've been checking out every time you go on a trip and stay in a hotel?
Of course.
And are they, like, appreciative?
Like, oh, thank you for doing this thing that you needed to do.
Is that not the craziest?
Like, he checks out hotels.
Well, like, when I went on, like, the road trip to Vegas, I did.
I needed those, those like receipts
so why raynon you're being very quiet yeah do you check out of hotels no fuck that no i do not
check out a hotel should we call a hotel and see if they appreciate it let's call the hotel we
yeah what's the upside okay perfect okay yeah and if it's no no i'm gonna call them and i'm
gonna say hey i forgot to check out. Is that a problem?
Then see if
they'd like it. They might call you
mentally challenged.
Do you guys just put the thing in the key?
No, you leave. Just leave.
Throw the keys away later.
You can keep the keys?
I probably have five hotel keys in my wallet
right now. Easily.
Yeah, I do.
Oh, I mean. They have a in my wallet right now. Easily. Yeah, I do. Oh, I mean.
They have like a huge drawer full of them.
Here are the keys.
They have.
Here are the keys from the hotel that we just stayed at.
Che, they have thousands of keys right there.
I think it's defunct after you use it.
Well, no, they can just reprogram it.
Are they reusing keys though?
No, they just, they have that machine.
You ever see that machine?
Oh, yeah, it's instant.
Yeah, they don't have to reuse it.
If you lose a key, they give you a new one.
I got millions of them.
I don't know.
It was just ingrained in me.
That's what you do.
I didn't know that you can't just not do that.
How?
I wonder what percentage of hotel goers still check out.
What's the longest you've waited in line to check out?
Definitely a couple people.
Oh, that.
Oh, my God.
Well, this should be huge for you.
It's a freeing feeling.
They have the key drop, but sometimes you go and they'll wait and they'll be like,
oh, yeah, key drop's right there.
And then they're like, do you need a receipt or anything?
And then you say no, and then you're on your way.
But then sometimes, you know, here's the keys.
Thank you for your stay.
See ya.
Hold on.
Knowing you don't need a receipt, what is the upside for you checking out? If you don't need anything from the transaction, why do it? you don't need a receipt what is the upside for you checking out
if you don't need anything from the transaction why do it
I don't know I never thought about it
I guess let's just have it
I never thought I would not need to do it
I had no idea
this many people didn't do that
alright I'm gonna call it
when did you guys stop checking out
years and years and years ago.
98?
A while.
Whenever I was an adult.
The fact that you wait in line sometimes.
Honestly, when you go to hotels and they use those electric keys,
which, again, was probably in the mid-90s.
Yeah.
Once they started using keys that cost less than a penny to make,
it was like, oh, I don't have to return the key. I think there's even a key box that like less than a penny to make it was like oh i
think there's even a key box that you could technically yeah isn't there like some danger
to returning keys because like all your info's on there too you're supposed to like break it in half
i didn't really yeah and uh covid you know and covid yeah it's a covid hazard obviously Good afternoon, this is Karen.
How can I help you?
Hi, I'm calling because I just stayed at your hotel
and I completely forgot to check out
and I have the keys in my hands.
Is there like a penalty or anything?
I'm so sorry.
Let me see.
What name
Was it
The reservation under
It was
It was Katz
K-T-Z
Room 1623
Okay
Yeah
Alright I'll let the front desk know
So is there
I don't get a penalty or anything
No
Do people usually check out
Sometimes they do
Yes
But not really
Not often
No I mean
There are some people that
I would say most of them do
Oh, okay
And that's fine
Okay, alright, great, thank you so much
I'll never let this happen again, okay, bye
Oh, it's okay
Are we the assholes?
No, that's protocol
Score that as a dub for me No. No, that's protocol.
Score that as a dub for me.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She has to say that. I led her to that.
She was struggling to play that character.
And I was playing a character of someone who checks out being like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Steven, you call a different hotel.
Kyle, can you call and be absolutely freaking out?
Yeah.
Okay, I don't know how to say this.
I forgot to check out.
Please don't be mad.
I'm on the way back.
I just got back. It was a six hour drive.
I'll come back, I swear. No one
checks out hotels. The only thing I can think
is that they can send the cleaning crew
in sooner if they know.
No, but there's a time.
You have to be out by 11.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, so what does it matter?
So they don't come until then anyway.
That is another good reason.
No, no.
Well, no, no.
That's fair.
If you do check out at 9, they know that room is empty.
They don't have to wait until 11.
But they're cleaning all the other rooms too.
They got a lot of shit to do.
11 is when they start doing it.
This is a true story.
I did recently leave a hotel room, and it was early, and there was a cleaning person right next to me.
I was like, hey, I'm done.
You can just take it.
Thank God that was a true story.
I don't believe it.
That was wild.
They were standing outside, and you told them you're leaving?
Yeah. Oh, my God. That told them you're leaving? Yeah.
There's no fucking way.
Oh, my God.
That's crazy.
I'm calling Cap.
Cap.
All right.
So, Steven, call another hotel and be like, does anyone ever check out a hotel?
Call our hotel.
We just called them.
We just called them.
I'm calling someone in Chicago now.
I am worried this is going to backfire in every hotel.
Because this is like, you're calling the cops.
They want you to check out.
You're calling the cops and you're asking if people do drugs
and they're like, no, nobody does drugs.
But what if hotels actually want us to check out
so they're going to tell us, yeah, you should.
Why would they want that?
I don't know.
Why?
We need someone in the hotel business.
Yeah, we need like a stoolie in the hotel business
to just call and be like,
I feel like...
This is their policy.
Clifty Martino probably has somebody.
Yeah, yeah.
He sent us donuts, by the way, today.
Thank you, Cliff.
Thanks, Cliff.
They were fraud.
Oh, I got someone.
I got someone.
Should I hang up?
No, no, no.
Go ahead.
Still call.
Hey, Stephen Choi, you're live to tape.
Real quick, I forgot to check out of my hotel.
Is that a problem, or was that okay to just use the key
drop which hotel
yeah
okay what percentage of people would you say check out of hotels manually
like at the front desk?
Maybe a third.
A third?
Okay.
All right.
Thank you very much.
A third.
Yeah, a third.
No big deal.
You just leave the key
in the room
or drop it off here
at the front desk.
All right.
Great.
Thank you.
But I want to know
what the hotels prefer.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
I got someone. I almost didn't know the hotels. He asked you which hotel and you were like, great. Thank you. But I want to know what the hotels prefer. Yeah, yeah. All right, I got someone.
I almost didn't know the hotels.
He asked you which hotel and you were like, ooh.
Ooh, tough question.
Oh.
Ooh.
Oh, man.
That's a good one.
A real brain buster.
All right, I'm going to call a friend who used to work in the hotel business.
There we go.
He'll give us an actual answer.
There we go.
Hopefully he picks up.
Ooh.
Hey, kid.
Bobby Berger, you're live on the Yak right now happy to be here all right so everyone
people should know who you are on the act but if you don't go follow brilliantly dumb uh he's he's
taking over the golf world i have a question for you used to work in a hotel correct that's correct
were you working front desk i was working front desk i did a little Bellman doorman, but I was front desk overnight shift confirmed.
Okay, two-part question.
First part, how many people percentage-wise actually checked out of your hotel?
You worked at a nice hotel.
You worked at the Four Seasons, right?
Correct.
How many people percentage-wise checked out of that hotel?
After one night?
Or just—no, no, no, no.
I'm saying they formally checked out. Their stay was over. night? Or just, no, no, no, no. I'm saying like they formally checked out.
Their stay was over.
They would come to the front desk.
They'd be like, here are my keys.
I'm checking out.
Oh, that's a great question.
I would say, honestly, a hard 50-50.
Really?
I would say a hard 50-50.
Okay.
But does it matter?
That's the second question.
It does not matter, correct?
It doesn't. It's the right thing to do. Oh, God damn it. Why? That's the second question. It does not matter, correct? It doesn't.
It's the right thing to do.
Oh, God damn it.
Why?
What's the upside?
Housekeeping's got to know that you're out to be able to turn over the roof.
But what about 11 o'clock?
You've got to be out anyway.
You do, but they could start earlier.
Fuck.
You really let me down, Bobby.
Chase winning. I always think that we're doing a 150 chicken nugget challenge right now from Chick-fil-A.
Oh my God.
Who's doing it?
Joey?
Where?
Me, Fat Perez, and Joey Colcutt.
All right.
Put on Joey.
Put on Joey real quick.
He worked at the hotel too.
You're live on the yak.
You're live on the yak.
Well, he's just going to talk shit about me again.
I've been...
Every time I do, he just roasts me.
You're live on the yak, Joey.
I heard everything you just said, you fat fuck.
It's not...
It's all love.
Okay, all right.
I love you, too.
I have a question.
So I just asked Bobby this question.
Did you care when people checked out of hotels when you worked at the hotel?
Well, I was in food and beverage, so I told them to stay as long as they like.
Okay, all right.
Well, this didn't help anything.
All right.
Well, good luck on the challenge.
We love you, Kat.
All right.
See you guys.
Those guys are the best.
Fuck!
That ruined us.
This is a landslide victory for Stephen Chang.
No, but we don't care about their fucking process.
Yeah, you guys might be jerks.
God damn it.
We might be jerks.
We might be jerks.
You'd think they'd have like a, you'd click on your phone and be like, boop, checked out.
Something easier.
I thought it was pretty revolutionary when you can check out on your TV.
That was pretty cool.
Oh.
All right, so do we have to take an L?
Yeah.
Well, now wait a minute.
I'm not sure we have to file a formal L paper yet. We're jerks. Well, Chey, moving forward, are you guys going to check out? Yeah. Well, now, wait a minute. I'm not sure we have to file a formal L paper yet.
We're jerks. Well, Che,
moving forward, are you guys going to check out? No.
No. Wait, I don't know
if we're jerks or if
Che is just
extra nice. Like, we might just be
We're normal. We're just
normal, which is, like,
Che's just going, like,
Che's just a Boy Scout scout you know what i mean
like he's just we do keep asking hotel people and i still think there could be the hotel
administration wants you to check out because that gets you to the desk because they're lazy
and then they could upsell you something i don't know but them getting facetime with you is always
good so they want you at that desk in the morning i just i don't don't remember the last time I've ever checked out, especially waiting in line
to check out.
That is the crazy-
Well, that's psycho shit.
Picture being violently hungover after a week.
Yeah.
There is no way.
No chance.
No way.
When I'm leaving somewhere, I'm not waiting in a line at that place.
And I'll go one further.
If I leave something in my hotel room, I'm never going to get it back.
I don't even try.
No.
Like a charger, toothbrush, a shirt. i don't even try no i like a charger toothbrush
a shirt i don't even make a phone call i'll intentionally leave stuff just like if my
if i'm already zipped up my suitcase yeah bye see ya didn't make it all right what did the poll say
tj uh two-thirds now okay good so we're back to being normal i can deal with there's but i think
a lot of people just didn't know why they were doing it.
I don't think you were striving to assist the operation.
No, he's a rule follower.
Correct.
I always just thought that everyone did that.
You just thought that was just required.
I feel like old people, I think my parents would check out still.
So what did you think happened if you didn't check out, Jay?
I don't know.
Arrested.
Never crossed that bridge.
The Hampton police.
We'll call it a draw.
No.
Yeah, okay.
I'll draw.
Will you accept the draw?
It seems like more people do not physically do it, but it is courtesy to do it as a patron or resident.
Okay, so draw?
Draw.
I guess that's fair.
Okay.
When you guys are in a grocery store and you realize you don't want an item in your cart,
do you just put it on a shelf?
Yes.
I walk it back.
I walk it back.
You walk it back.
I walk it back every time.
Depends, actually, I should say.
Because anything refrigerated, I walk it back.
You have to walk it back.
I absolutely walk back refrigerated.
Being an employee, they want shit to do.
Busy work.
They want to be able to take the yogurt back to the food.
I think they see that shit and they immediately hate their life,
hate everything about everybody.
I would never do yogurt or milk or eggs, but a bag of chips.
But if they find a box of Tide in the soup aisle.
That's fun.
Yeah, but that's.
You work about that.
Yeah, we used to love having a little thing to do
to get out of talking to people. That's two minutes that you can do
something else.
I think you're plenty busy in a supermarket
at all times. I don't think you need
an extra hassle.
No, a lot of downtime. Are you guys all...
This is a long side, and I know this one comes up a lot,
but you leave the cart
either in the parking lot by itself, or you put
it in the cart aisle?
You put it in the cart. Do you take it all the way either in the parking lot by itself or you put it in the cart. I always put the cart back.
Do you take it all the way back in the building?
No, no.
You've got to put it back.
I take it back in the building.
I take it all the way back in the building.
Why?
Because that's just what I would want done for me.
No, I used to love having to wrangle the cart.
No, you're taking jobs away at that point.
If everybody took it back to the building,
then they can cut those jobs.
The guys that go.
Yeah, there's actually that.
Usually that person needs that job.
Yeah.
That specific person.
I think it's one of the more.
When you pull up and there's a guy, there's a 19-year-old kid or a 17-year-old kid,
and he's got 30 carts he's pushing, that's an impressive feat.
Yeah, he looks cool.
He wants that.
I always put in the whatever, the corral.
Yeah, the corral.
Do you tip the people that would take your groceries out to the truck?
I do, yeah.
I would get tipped by about 50%.
Also, the corral, by the way, if you don't try to hit it perfectly,
then you're not – like I do it from distance.
That's what I was going to say.
You're depriving yourself of one of the great things in shopping,
which is the long – Yeah, the push things in shopping, which is the long.
Yeah, the push.
The mini carts get in the way.
The mini carts get in the way.
Yep.
Yeah.
But it is satisfying when you see a corral that is perfectly mini carts on one side and
big carts on the other because they get ruined so very easily.
All right.
So you want the other Chafax.
Yes.
By the way, unrelated to Chafax, I had a dream last night.
Yeah.
I thought about you.
You weren't in my dream.
But my dream was very weird.
I was in a house with a big front lawn, and Stella was in the front lawn, and then I had
a cat.
I don't think it was Piper Jones.
That's fine.
Yeah.
It was a tabby, and there were two coyotes that tried to attack him. And I killed both coyotes.
No chance you're killing the coyotes.
I swear to God I had this dream.
I grabbed both of their jaws and I just fucking smacked them.
Oh, you manually killed them.
And that is a true story.
That's a true story.
It happened.
It happened.
Two coyotes.
No, that cat's dying in that scenario.
It literally happened, Brandon.
It happened inside your brain. Okay. Yeah. I think all of you could kill a coyote. Thank you, Kate. scenario. It literally happened, Brandon. What are you going to... It happened inside your brain.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think all of you could kill a coyote.
Thank you, Kate.
I do.
Thank you, Kate.
I would love to stomp one.
I would love to, yeah.
Little bitch.
I would love to have the opportunity.
Could you shoot a coyote and kill it?
Yes.
You're not going to barehand kill a coyote, guys.
Why?
They're not that big.
Thank you.
They're dogs.
Yes.
You don't think you could kill a dog in a fight?
A very, very small dog, I could.
Like the size of a coyote.
Anything bigger than a Cocker Spaniel, I'm not sure I can kill with my beard.
Coyotes are smaller than Cocker Spaniels.
They're not.
Where do you guys get these ideas of coyotes?
They're like rats.
Y'all are thinking of foxes.
No.
I think I just put that to a coyote.
Like a bug.
I'd pet a fox.
All right, Chay fact number two.
I put this clip out there so you guys
might have talked about it yesterday we had adam schefter on the podcast after adam schefter was
done with the podcast we had another interview so che and schefter were kind of in the corner of the
room and i'm pretty sure che just demanded to see schefter's nba uh fantasy team so he could grade it. Half true. Half true.
Okay.
Which half?
So after Shefty's interview, he was going to like –
Look at that.
Look at that.
Very nice moment.
Took some photos and then I was showing them out.
Your next guest, I don't want to say who it was.
Dan Quinn.
It's fine.
Dan Quinn came in and he was the focus.
But then Schefter was like, oh, is it okay if I just stick around
and watch part of the interview?
And I was like, yeah, sure, whatever.
So he was in a seat, and I was working on a graphic.
And then when he was leaving, he was like, oh, I'll see you later, man.
I'll see you soon or whatever.
And I was like, hey, man.
And one of the questions I asked was about what he likes to do, and he loves NBA or fantasy basketball. So I was like, hey, man. And one of the questions I asked was about what he likes to do.
And he loves NBA or fantasy basketball.
So I was like, oh, let me see your fantasy basketball team.
So I was right.
Everything I said was true.
What was your question?
It was a long way to get to exactly what I said.
I was like, oh, let me see your fantasy team.
What was your question?
What he likes to do?
He asked Schefter what a perfect Saturday looks like for Schefter, which is like when a man you know wants to wear your skin asks you that,
it's a very uncomfortable feeling.
What was his answer?
He gets peppered with football questions all the time.
He kind of was like, yeah, you were kind of doing the thing where you're like,
I'm not going to ask the stripper where she went to school.
How was your day, stripper?
That's what you were trying to do.
We talked football, but a lot of it was off air.
All right, so Chafak number three.
We were driving back.
I have an incredible bladder.
Hank and Che do not. they both had to urinate in
my car because i said no stop i wanted they both pissed in bottles they both both piss in bottles
well only one of them pissed in a bottle hank pissed in a bottle it was this this not exact
bottle uh by the way now that i'm thinking about it che did you attempt to piss in this bottle
did you put your dick like in i there? Anything I attempted to piss in was empty.
Okay, so, yeah, but you indirect, I indirectly kissed your penis today.
Oh, no.
Did you spit in that bottle?
No, but I was drinking out of the bottle, and he's like, I need a bottle, so I finished my drink, and then I handed it to him.
I kissed your penis.
Your saliva was on his penis.
Yeah, my lips touched his penis.
Oh, after the fact.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if Che died right now and forensics investigated. That's true. Your saliva was on his Yeah my lips Touched his penis After the fact Yeah Yeah
If Jay died right now
And forensics investigated
That's true
Yeah
On your saliva
Yeah they'd be like
Did you suck him to death
Oral DNA is on his chest
Did you suck him to death
This man was sucked
About 12 hours ago
That's all we know
Yeah
No I
Yeah
I indirectly
Kissed your penis Yeah You could say that The kissed your penis.
Yeah, you could say that.
More your penis kissed my lips.
However you want to phrase it, it's true.
Because I did the first act, you did the second.
But either way, Hank peed, no problem.
Che tried to pee in this exact size bottle.
Che's got a fucking monster cock because he couldn't have it fit.
You couldn't fit your cock in this?
Was he using the flip lid?
Dude, he opened it like this
and he couldn't fit his cock in there.
Wait, were you hard? Can't you just squish it?
He had to use
a coffee cup.
You also don't need to put your whole cock in it.
You just need to put the head in.
That's what I was trying to tell him.
It didn't fit. The head didn't even fit.
I said just put the head in. The. That's what I was trying to tell him, but he's like it didn't fit. Head didn't even fit. I said just put the
head in. The hole. The hole didn't fit.
The hole was too
His hole is wider than that.
It's too tight. He says it's too
tight. Guy's got a monster
cock. Jay. He actually
puts the hole around the rim. That's what he has.
Yeah.
Like a balloon. We're going, you know,
50, 60, 70 miles or whatever.
Does that make your dick bigger?
No, but, you know, you want to have a little bit of margin for error.
And, yeah, it's a very tight squeeze.
And I was a little bit worried, you know, if we hit a pothole or something, then we'd have an issue.
So you had a coffee cup in the front.
I don't see why that was a...
This is not a me trying to make fun of you.
I didn't know that you had a hog.
I had no idea you had a hog.
Everything we know about you would say you don't.
True, true.
If I were a clone, I could DP this thing.
Yeah.
Easily.
I'd make it airtight with three of my cups he couldn't fit hey there's
no way but you guys got a fucking monster soft soft you were too too tight for this
it'd be like it'd be like that so that was a massive che win he then pissed in a coffee cup
and he was saying that he was nervous about filling it too much,
so it was like a five-minute piss.
He would, like, piss a little, cut it off, piss a little more.
Like, Hank and I, we went through two songs, and Hank and I were like,
are you jerking off?
What are you doing right now?
You get nervous.
If you get close to filling up one of those things, there's no plan B.
It was tight. What can you say jay's got a hog damn man when did you realize yeah when did you first realize
you had a hog probably like an hour ago when i did that the bottle exercise yeah so that was
a jay win and then the last one is very funny because I was witness to something that I'm so happy I got to see.
There is.
I didn't know this existed.
There's another like diehard Bucks fan who has a Bucks blog and he looks exactly like Frank the Tank and Che and he like formally finally met in at this bar we were at.
And I think
Jay might have Bucks beef.
They didn't really like it. There's no way he respects you.
They kind of weren't giving
a lot of eye contact
and it was just like, I got to witness this
whole thing and it was just beautiful
to see. He's got a turf war
with a Bucks blog. It's not a turf war.
I mean, he's a nice... I've never met that
guy in person. I've met his business partner. it's not a turf war I mean he's a nice I've never met that guy in
person I've met his business partner it's like a two guy site it's called joebucsfan.com and
they're operated by two guy Lee and Steve and I've met Steve a couple times and we have a casual
relationship say hello say how you're doing whatever and then um yeah I've never met Lee
before and uh I'd seen him around I think but I didn't know who he was he who he was. He's not like a forward-facing media personality.
He is kind of the Frank the Tank for the Bucs because almost instantly when I started talking to him,
he was like, yeah, you know, like Barstool, like we're on the same trajectory as you guys.
Then Google just like smashed us and didn't give us any ad money.
I was like, what?
He did say that.
We got to take down the Bucs blog.
A Bucks blog
Was on the same map
What
Barstool
And then Google
Came around
Google fucking Google
He's like I told my guy
We gotta get off Google
I was like
I don't know what
This conversation is
You don't wanna be on Google
I just kind of like
Made noises
And was just like
Okay
Does he look like
Frank the Tank
Well yeah
Yes
Yeah he kind of does
Kind of does
I got it
Same height Same size Like he Yeah He's Frank the Tank For the Bucks like frank the tank well yeah yes yeah he kind of does kind of does i got it same same height
same size like he yeah he's frank the tank for the bucks so that was just i was just in awe i
could have watched i would have loved to watch them talk for a while but they did not speak to
each other they did like the the bare minimum of pleasantries and then moved on oh that's a rivalry
just make it just cement the rivalry. Don't dance around it.
Say you hate him.
I don't dislike those guys. They provide
value.
That's a big slap in the face.
Afterwards, I was like, what was the deal
with that? And he gave me this. And I was like, oh, okay.
They provide value is the dickheadest
thing to say about somebody.
Who's more influential? Who has more followers?
Who has better takes?
Wider cock. Wider insight?
Wider cock?
I mean, well,
me, they do have a Hall of Fame voter on their staff.
Oh. I like that you know that.
I'll say this. Jason Light definitely
was more friendly. The Bucks GM was
also standing there witnessing this.
He's more friendly with Che.
Yes. He and Che are best buds. Yeah, we're pals. Yeah, pals. But yeah, it was a good indie trip. also standing there witnessing this and he was he's he's more friendly with che yes he and che
are best buds yeah we're pals yeah pals but yeah it was good indie trip that was kind of everything
we're there quick wide streets in indie clean city a lot of escape rooms a lot of steakhouses
a lot of escape rooms a lot of escape rooms yeah okay when i went to the dead body was played by a
real person an employee oh okay they just lay there and wait the whole time?
They were in an air duct.
That's a great job.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
So, yeah, it was a good trip.
There's no complaints.
We got three interviews done, rushed back.
I'm trying to think, Che.
Oh, it's also just great, like, Che went with us last year for the first time.
He'll come with us every year now because he just like
we'll go to a bar and he'll just shout out like the most random people who walk in just being like
oh there's that podcaster and it's just it's great watching che like he couldn't be happier in those
moments yeah good for him yeah pft was asking me who's my one one like person to meet i'm like
honestly it's probably this guy named greg cosell who's worked at none person to meet? I'm like, honestly, it's probably this guy named Greg Cosell,
who's worked at NFL Films for like 43 years.
And he was at the bar last night.
And we were in different conversations,
but I was going to go over and then got caught up in somebody else.
But then we were in a conversation with another group,
and they handed me a beer that was meant for Greg Cosell.
So that was kind of cool.
Oh, that is really, that is huge.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
He like Bucky Brooks walked in and Jay was like, Bucky Brooks.
Holy shit.
We're just going to gloss over that.
Yeah.
No, he got a beer.
Did you kill it?
Did you save it?
That's surreal.
No, I drank it, but they're like, Oh, this was actually a great co-sells beer, but he
went somewhere else.
I was like, you had great co-sells fucking beard. It's beer, but he went somewhere else. You had Greg Cosell's fucking beer, dude?
It's a where were you when moment right there.
That's insane.
Che, you shut down the party last night.
I went home at like 11.
Che, who was there at the end of the night?
A lot of my Bucs fam.
No, but there was coaches and shit, right?
Yeah, Antonio Pierce was there.
Nick Siriano was there.
Big Dom. Big Pierce was there. Nick Siriano was there. Big Dom.
Big Dom was there.
A bunch of coaches and personnel people.
And Stephen Che.
Wait, you shut down a bar?
Yeah.
Or was there until close?
Until 2.
2 a.m.?
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
Good time.
And he still checked out.
He still checked out.
I'll be damned.
And he's got a hog of a penis.
Good day for you. Yeah, I mean, the color was Che W's all around. Yeah, it's still checked out. I'll be damned. He's got a hog of a penis. Good day for you.
Yeah, I mean, it kind of was Che W's
all around. Yeah, it's a great day.
There's one more thing that's going to be
the ultimate W. Oh, no. Oh, fuck.
We have a ribbon cutting. Oh, yeah.
We have a ribbon and we have
giant scissors. Uh-huh. Okay.
So, I think it's only fair
we should spin the wheel to see who gets to cut the ribbon.
This is something I've always wanted.
I want to do this.
I've always wanted to cut a ribbon, and I've always wanted my own sandwich somewhere.
Oh, we could get the sandwich done.
I want it done.
I want the right way.
Yeah.
Do you have your idea of what the sandwich is?
You want monster cheese?
No.
That's what I want.
Do we have the concrete?
No.
No, we're going to have to do the concrete on a different day.
That will be concrete day.
Yeah, we'll do concrete day.
Yeah. We'll do a concrete draft Yeah, we'll do concrete day. Yeah.
We'll do a concrete draft.
Get my costume ready.
Yeah.
What is that?
Isn't there like a Marvel guy who's like a...
Oh, yeah, the fucking...
Yeah, the guy that turns to stone.
It's like the Hulk, but he's...
No, that's like an X-Men.
That's Celine Dion.
Is that X-Men?
Thing.
He's a Fantastic Four.
Fantastic Four. It's Celine Dion. He's a Fantastic Four. Fantastic Four.
And Celine Dion.
She does have that disease.
Something I did learn in this process is I was looking for a concrete truck or concrete mixer.
One of these, you know, obviously thing that's making concrete on the road and can pour it.
This is no different than like the day of a four-year-old.
Yeah.
I was looking for a concrete mixer.
You know, the concrete thing, you know.
Che, when you get hard, does it get wider?
Or is it at its state?
A stream line.
Yeah, are you a grower or a shower?
I think you might be just a shower.
Please tell me you're a shower.
Hey, you've seen his top five showers.
It was pretty, the size of the pee hole was the shocking part.
Yeah.
The fact that Che might have the biggest
dick on this show sucks so bad.
We have to just find out.
Yeah.
I'll tap out of the competition.
I'm out as well.
I'm not going vain
for vain with Che.
You're our last hope.
I think I'll do for vein with Jay. You're our last hope. Your hand?
Yeah.
I think I'll do it.
Oh, yeah.
We both get boners.
We walk towards each other.
Whoever touches first.
It's like jousting.
Whoever can knock the other one over with their boner.
Yeah.
Boner jousting.
Boner jousting.
Fine.
We'll do it.
I think these popcorn people are waiting for us. Yeah, yeah.
So let's spin the wheel for the ribbon.
But I learned that you could just buy concrete at like a Home Depot or something like that.
Yes.
I don't really know how that works.
That's true.
You mix it in a bucket, right?
Mix it yourself.
I was looking for a concrete truck.
The ones that go, toot, toot.
We needed the whole truck.
Is this Eliminator?
Oh, let's go.
God damn it.
Let's go, Titus.
This is fitting. Perfect. God damn it. Let's go, Titus. This is fitting.
Perfect.
Get up there.
So we have a camera set.
We would need one other person I'll go to hold the ribbon.
It's like a ceremony.
I just was texting Greg Cassell's number, Jay.
Oh, does he know about the beer?
No, someone sent it to me, but we should probably call him and apologize.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So do we have a video?
How are we going to get video of this?
Oh, there we go.
Wow.
Look at that big boy.
Holy. Yeah. All right, Titus. Wow. Look at that big boy. Holy cow.
Alright, Titus,
go put it. Oh, there's already popcorn
in it.
Oh my god.
Oh, it's beautiful. Was that the sweet?
There was a side with the sweet popcorn?
There was sweet popcorn.
I'm gonna eat it till I get sick.
Oh, this is gonna be awesome.
My kids are gonna fucking love this.
Say, you got to give a speech.
Speech.
All right.
Look at the visual.
This is the perfect
encapsulation of this fucking show.
With the power granted
to me, I would like to officially announce the opening of the Nuts on Clark
popcorn machine here at Barstool Sports.
Woo!
Yay!
Woo-hoo!
Oh, man.
Wow.
What a moment.
All right.
Oh, I can't wait to get fresh hot popcorn.
And get some popcorn.
Also.
Oh, this is the first bag.
The first bag.
Is it going sweet or butter?
Sweet.
No context needed here.
This is fine.
This is another one of those episodes where this would be a great first episode.
How did we get here?
Thank them.
From all of us.
We met them yesterday and they're like the sweetest people on the planet.
They're very, very kind.
Look at that.
Bag of corn.
Thank you guys.
God bless you guys. God bless you guys.
God bless you.
Oh, hell yeah.
All right.
Yay.
That was it.
And now we have a popcorn machine.
There he is.
Special shout out to Clifty Martino.
He's the plug.
He is the plug for everything.
He's the plug's plug. How plug for everything. The plug's plug.
How great was that, Titus?
That looked cool.
Yeah, I want to do that again.
Now I'm addicted.
I want to cut ribbons.
Can I have a little?
Can I have a little?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's the cheese and caramel mix that I love.
I got some caramel.
Yes.
I want one of that.
Look at Brandon's up there.
Yeah, he'll be there a lot.
This is great.
Look how cool that looks too
what an area that's like perfect for a popcorn
did you hear what Paige was talking about
soda fountain coming
oh yes
we're going to have a soda fountain
I should go say thank you right
definitely
also that is the cutest woman I've ever seen
in my entire life
I love her.
All right, let me go say thank you.
Yeah, let's get in front of it.
This is so good. You guys want to do an ad while I go?
Sure, thanks.
Yes.
All right, today's episode is brought to you by High Noon.
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These flavors include Passion Fruit, Pineapple, Pear, and an all-new flavor, Tangerine, all made with real vodka and real juice.
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How's the corn, Brando? Perfect.
Which side did you get? Butter?
Don't mind if I do.
Yeah, I want some of that.
This is huge.
I bring them here all the weekend.
Perfect.
Big thank you to John Clark.
We can still do the show exactly how we always did but just now we have popcorn. Yeah, exactly. People are you to John Clark. We can still do the show exactly how we always did, but just now we have popcorn.
Yeah, exactly.
People are going to love that.
Yeah, people are already like when I eat into the mic.
Is it coming back?
Yes, I would love some of that.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
Thank you.
That's real special.
That is a special thing that just happened.
I know.
So wait, one side's butter, one side's caramel mixed with cheddar.
Yeah.
I've had that.
It's amazing.
Amazing combo.
They said they could make us a barstool mix that we could come up with.
We could make our own corn?
Oh.
They said they're going to come every week to make sure they clean it,
and they'll different popcorn flavors depending on what we want.
No way.
Yeah.
What would our flavor be?
What's the je ne sais quoi of the yak?
It'd probably be, well, you'd have to have a mousetrap in there.
Yeah, a mousetrap.
In every bag.
Mostly flavored for Che.
Double Ritz.
Maybe a little Ritz sprinkling.
Wet.
It's got to be wet.
Soaking.
Wet popcorn.
We should do a yak wet popcorn.
Wet popcorn.
Speaking of crackers Oh Antonio
Yeah great
What a tweet
It was funny
What a tweet
Oh meek mill
Oh let's go through all of them
The one was the funniest shit I've ever seen
They're so incredible
Wait so I did just get Greg Cassell's number
So we're gonna have Che call him
Wait no let's have
how can we fuck with Che
yeah he's over there
wait is this a wrestling mat
oh my god what a day
what a fucking day
we gotta have to spin the wheel to wrestle
not today
yeah today it's wrestling mat slash popcorn day
slash Che has a now wait we also
have the mincey pro day tomorrow yes and we now have a wrestling mat yes which i have an update
on that we'll talk we'll do some planning at the end of the show they're also installing live player
tracking data technology in the office right now for live basketball for anything we want to do on
the court we can have live player tracking data. Top speeds, flight paths.
We'll need that for tomorrow.
It's a big day.
Holy shit.
We can measure how fast Brandon ran to the popcorn machine.
Oh my God.
What a day.
Yeah, the soda fountain is going to be fucking awesome.
Yeah, I got to get out there.
They don't know what they're doing.
Come on, get out there.
How can I go on knowing Che has a monster dick?
It was so...
The moment when I was like,
dude, what do you mean your dick won't fit in this oversized...
It's the big mouth bottle.
Yeah.
He was like, it's just really, really tight.
Really, really tight.
Damn it.
Oh, man, this is is gonna be awesome for Kyle is that it
oh
that's a little underwhelming
you think?
it's half and half
how do you get it attached
a piece of tape came out
alright so Spider
will you wrestle KB for the first match?
Is that the right size?
This is a good enough size.
Yeah, you can tell.
That's like when you get a birthday gift.
No, it's perfect.
Okay.
Yeah, Spider, you're going to have to do it first one with KB.
No herpes on it yet.
Yeah, let's keep it herpes free.
That'll change quick. i smell it that new matt smell yeah
oh man what a day i feel so good
life change so much of that I'm also canceling my diet
Dude
Popcorn machine
Yeah that's what I call
Although popcorn's not bad
No popcorn's good for you
Butter's not good
Butter salt
Good for us
Yeah it is
It's good for us
It'll get us big strong
Growing boys
Corn is a vegetable
It is
Unless we forget
It really is
It grows in a field
So what is meek mill doing
i don't even know the context you got accused of being gay so i think blaming his love for pussy
juicy pussy didn't he call out puff daddy or somebody else there's a i think he's being
called out by other people i think there's a isn't there a lawsuit tj he did he was accused of like sex crimes by some guy and seems pretty
serious but in the sect in the allegations there's like redacted names that are like
it's like philly area rapper redacted and like super bowl performer r&b singer redacted and dj
academics he was talking about it on air and he was like, oh, that's Meek Mill and that's Usher.
And then Meek Mill was like,
actually, I love pussy and I'm not gay.
In the best manner possible. He said he ran red lights for pussy?
Yeah, he ran red lights.
Ask any of your favorites.
Which is pretty gay.
And when he's around pussy, he doesn't just bang it once.
He bangs the pussy at least twice.
And he edited the tweets, so that was the final version.
He also said no one offers him coke because he's heavy.
I don't know what that meant.
Did that mean physically heavy?
I don't know.
That's what I assumed.
That's not a qualifier for doing coke, right?
No, but I think that when you see someone who's bigger, you're like,
that guy doesn't do coke, otherwise he'd be skinnier.
Or you're worried about the man's heart oh also true one love to the gay people but that juicy pussy do it for me
i think pat retweeted it he was like me in eighth grade anytime somebody called me gay
no no that pussy do it for me
yeah when i when i got a girl around me, I'm fucking her twice
a day. I like that he... LOL.
It's so funny to him.
Also that he kept it, you know, it's a kid's
site. Well, he also said...
But he also types out pussy
the first time, but not the second time. Yeah, when I got a girl
around me, I'm fucking her twice a day. LOL.
Ask some of your favorites. Pussy don't
control me, but it's like a high.
One love to the gay people with that juicy pussy.
Do it for me.
I done ran red lights to get that feeling.
Y'all weird on here like devil's LOL.
What was the edit?
What do I got to go around here?
Spot the edit.
Pussy don't control me.
Oh, pussy don't control me and pussy don't control me and don't control me oh that's a big edit yeah
sounds like pussy controls them yes because that's like i mean if you have to rush and do that tweet
yeah pussy gone that's a straight man yeah straight as fuck i'm using if i ever get pulled
over for running a red light like pussy pussy. Pussy, man. Juicy pussy.
Can pussy get juicy?
Yeah.
They've always been dry around me.
Uh-oh.
I don't like the idea of a tight pussy.
I don't think that exists.
I've never felt a tight pussy.
Never.
No.
These are all myths.
Che.
I'd ask you.
Che, I have Greg Cassell's number.
Do you want to call him and apologize?
Apologize for what?
He left.
He took his beer.
Well, yeah, but maybe you should just let him know.
Let him know you took his beer.
You got a beer.
He's not a joking type, so I don't think that's it.
Yeah, that's why I sincerely let him know.
You want us to call him instead, Steve?
I would assume he's at Drills right now.
Well, you don't know that.
Do you want to give him a call?
Not particularly live on air, but I do very much enjoy his work.
Why don't you text him, then?
You want me to text Greg Cosell?
Yeah.
I'm just like, hey, I got your number from a guy at the party last night.
I just want to really apologize.
I took your beer.
Just say that.
Just say exactly that.
He's like an older guy.
All right.
Or can you say, thanks for the beer last night,
and then a real goofy emoji face is like.
No, let's write this text for Steven.
Like what?
What should Steven say?
Hey, Greg.
It's me, S.
You'll be like, hey, Greg.
It's Steven Che.
I almost met you at the party last night, and I accidentally drank your beer.
Yeah.
I just wanted to apologize.
Beer was damn good though
LMAO
true story
this guy does not know what LMAO means
I bet he does
come on
let's see a picture of him
mid 60's
he's not dead
alright
I'll send whatever you guys would like.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, he knows me.
Come on.
He's basically LMA-ing right there.
Yeah, he is.
Yeah, he signs his hair.
Oh, man.
You got this, Jay.
All right.
This is the start of a great friendship.
Hopefully.
All right.
We'll do it for real.
So, be like, hi, Greg. This is the start of a great friendship. Hopefully. All right. We'll do it for real. So be like, hi, Greg.
This is Stephen Shea.
You don't know me, but I work for Barstool Sports.
I got your number from someone at the party last night.
I wanted to apologize.
Profusely.
Profusely because I accidentally was handed your beer and I drank all of it
did you drink all of it
yes
and I drank all of it
we're going to do the wide cock here or later
we'll do it later
or maybe hey this is Steven Che
from Barstool Sports parenthesis wide cock guy
hey wait Che put that in your Twitter name.
Yeah.
Parentheses, Wide Cock Guy.
Come on.
I do not want that to be my brand.
What?
I do.
TJ got it.
But, Steven, you could just say you almost met him at the party last night.
You got his number from someone at the party.
Okay.
Yep, I'm writing this right now.
We got to make sure we don't eat popcorn in the microphone.
White Sox Dave and Widecock Steve.
I'm hanging out.
Widecock Steve.
That's going to be the only rule of the popcorn
because people will be,
people get very upset
when we eat in the microphone,
which I understand.
It's so hard to stop eating it, though.
Yeah.
It's very good popcorn.
There you go.
Good job, Brandon.
Steve, you should ask him to hang out sometime, too.
Just be like, I like beer, you like beer.
Obviously, we have similar interests.
We both like football and beer.
Also, just to clarify, I'm not Joe Buck fan.
Those are nervous laughters.
That's not.
Yeah, that's not.
I think he's good.
Jay, I think it would be less awkward if you just called
him.
Yeah, I do too.
Jay, I think this is going to work out fine.
He's going to text you back.
He's like, no problem, buddy.
That's true.
You're right.
Yeah.
Uh, do you, who am I saying I got his number from?
Uh, someone at the party.
That's the truth.
Okay.
And then regret not being able to cut it up with you.
Yeah.
May I have this dance?
Yeah.
Steve, the last dance for me.
Should he send a picture of himself?
Just so Greg knows who he is.
Put a face to the name.
Send him the no bitch assness
pic of the Grand Canyon.
It's my favorite Che picture.
Okay, read it to us before you hit send.
Yep.
You don't want to do this?
No, I'll do it.
I actually think he's going to text back and you're going to just be texting
buddies with him.
Hey Greg, this is Steven Che from Bar from Barcelona. You don't know me, but
I was at the JW last night and got your number from someone
at the party. I regret to
not being able to chop it up with you, but I drank a beer
that was intended for you. I wanted to
sincerely apologize.
And maybe throw in at the beginning somewhere, huge
fan. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, that works.
I think he's
going to... And then attach that.
Actually, just send that and say,
are you thirsty, bitch?
Because I drank your beer.
I'm so fucking hungover from that free beer.
All right.
Hi, Greg.
This is Stephen Chay from Barcelona.
I'm a huge fan.
You don't know me, but I was at the JW last night.
Got your number from someone at the party.
I regret not being able to chop it up with you, but I drank a beer intended for you.
I sincerely apologize. All of it.
Like, another sentence.
I drank another beer intended for you, period.
All of it. Period. Wait, can you put the intended for you. Period. All of it. Period.
Wait, can you put the words of that on just
on the left side of this picture?
It's the perfect
meme. Yeah, make that for a meme
for social.
No bitch ass this.
You got this, Jay.
He's going to text you back.
Alright, I'm going to send it.
Good luck. I bought this chain. He's going to text you back. All right, I'm going to send it. Good?
Good luck.
Hey, you're just stacking dubs today.
Yeah, what a day.
This might be a huge bill.
No, that's not going to be an L.
All right, it is sent.
All right, love it.
Or I'm not going to, yeah.
Oh, shit. Let us know when he texts you back. Alright, it is sent. Alright, love it.
Let us know when he texts you back.
We won't end the show until he texts you back.
Did you just nervously try to cover your phone?
Turn it off so you don't see.
I was going to show the camera,
but then I didn't save his number yet,
so I didn't want to do that.
Oh, man.
That would have been so bad.
So, so bad.
Everyone would have texted him that picture.
They all would have texted him that picture.
415 dudes would have texted him.
That should have been like, you're a bitch.
No bitch ass.
Wait, does this guy have a Twitter?
Okay.
Oh, there it is.
All right.
Jesus.
Che, look at your phone. Any typing back bubbles?
Come on, Che.
It says delivered.
Okay.
Are drills happening right now?
I think today was D-line.
I'm not sure right now.
I figured you'd just know that off the top of your head.
Yeah, today was D-line.
Were the athletes there when you were there?
Yeah, I mean, we didn't see any of the combine guys
because they were getting ready for a make-or-break moment.
Super nervous.
Yeah, in their life.
It's like, if they fuck up here, it's going to cost them millions of dollars.
Oh, yeah.
It's so consequential.
Yeah.
It really matters that much?
Yeah.
He's like, quick.
I mean, it doesn't.
It's not.
If you're like an incredible player, it doesn't matter that much.
But for like the mid-round guys, it definitely –
Oh, it's a good way to like stand out.
Yeah.
It's not like you won't – if you do really bad, you won't get drafted.
But if you do really great, you could make –
Uh-huh.
Like the first round.
Yeah, especially if you're a mid-round guy.
You can move up or down a round, no problem.
Yeah.
I met Ross Dellinger last night.
Mississippi State guy.
Yeah, good dude.
Yeah.
I've actually never met Ross Dellinger.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wait, are all these things in the corners of the gym, the new tech?
Like all those look like...
Yeah, there's a bunch of network boxes that they have to install around the gym.
Oh, sure.
Oh, wow, there's a lot of them.
Wait, I don't see them.
Are those white things on top of the walls?
Once they do, there's like 20... Oh, yeah, there's a lot of them. Wait, I don't see them. Are those white things on top of the walls? Once they do, there's like 20 things that are maybe the size of a Tic Tac box
that each person can wear an individual one.
So if we played five-on-five basketball,
we could have everybody on the court with a different thing on
and track each person's movement as its own stat sheet.
That would be cool for the gauntlet.
I could bring it up on the screen as like an on-screen
overlay and stuff it's super cool wait so is this going to be set up for mincy tomorrow i think that
that was kind of the intention oh my god to try and get that ready to debut under mincy all right
so let's talk mincy pro day tomorrow this will be a big day all right i have some graphics that i
want to get done uh tj so i think i texted the group i was thinking about it i think it would get kind
of boring if it was just mincy doing drills and there's no competitive action so my idea was it's
a mincy versus mahomes pro day and we make mincy do the drill as mincy then put on the mahomes
jersey and do the drill as mahomes and then we can keep the
leaderboard as the day goes along who's winning mincy or mahome i like that mincy versus mahomes
one of the greatest matchups of all time yeah um so with that said though i think we need to make
sure that none of the none of the drills he's doing are like super super long i also think we
should just he should have to do the 35 yard
dash he should have to do the bench press he should have to do the three cone yeah and the
qb challenge so we'll have those like set as standard he'll do those um so we're just throwing
out ideas yeah i'd like to put him in a duck duck goose situation and i love that he's able to get
up to his feet
and chase the person down.
I'm giving him a mental test, but very simple.
Okay.
I like to duck-duck-goose,
so we'll play duck-duck-goose with him.
Oh, what about musical chairs?
Could do that.
That's cognitive ability, right?
Or that's reaction time?
That's reaction time.
Yeah, we could do that.
But we should do it to a widespread panic song
so he gets distracted.
Yeah.
Someone said he should run a mile inside the circle.
Yeah, that's good.
Which I was a great idea, but it would take a very long time.
I think what we'll do instead is maybe have him do like suicides inside the circle like
10 times for time.
And my idea was that Mincy and Mahomes will switch back who goes first because you would think maybe he would get tired
so the second person would always be at a disadvantage.
So, like, Mincy will run the 35-yard dash, then Mahomes will run it.
Then Mahomes will do the bench press, then Mincy will do the bench press.
Yes.
That's good.
Is this mat big enough for a very small tumbling routine?
Oh.
I wouldn't hate it. hate it something that we could judge
i would love some double dutch yeah i want them to make pancakes i want the oh a table with the
ingredients you need for pancakes but other decoy ingredients to see if you can successfully i love
that all right so we got to really plan this after the act we have to like because we got to get all
the cameras set up this is going to be great.
Mitzi versus Mahomes.
His wonder lick can be karaoke.
Yes.
That's a wonder lick, yeah.
That's going to be, yeah, he was in.
Well, can I just throw this out?
If it's a Mitzi versus Mahomes format, right,
that just means we're going to watch him do every drill twice.
That's what I was saying.
Keep the drills shorter.
No, it wouldn't be him.
It would be Mahomes.
Yes, Mahomes.
So we're going to watch him make a pancake,
and then we're going to watch him make a pancake?
No, no, no.
You're not.
No, we're going to.
What you don't understand is Mincy's going to do it,
and then Patrick Mahomes is going to do it.
Right.
So it's not mincy we can
afterwards we can put a blindfold on spin him around so he recalibrates his all right well we
could also do the other idea was that we could do an entire the entire circuit as mincy and then
he'll do the first so you don't go back to back on any of the drills i like that okay so then
that's what we'll do.
Okay.
So Mincy will do it all.
We'll have a baseline and then Mahomes will try to beat Mincy.
Okay.
Cause then there's a competitive action.
And then maybe we, we gotta, but the problem is, is he smart enough?
I hope Mahomes doesn't throw the events.
Right.
If he's smart enough to throw an event so that.
So he loses to Mahomes.
I mean, he was smart enough to act like he didn't do last week on purpose,
and we found out today that maybe that –
Yeah, no, he definitely did.
That wasn't a great unnamed show for him.
Him saying –
Oh, yeah, what was his appearance?
I saw the –
He got caught on a hot mic at the poker tournament talking about the combine.
Saying exactly what he –
Did you see it, Titus?
Yeah, I did.
Wait, can I see that clip?
Very incriminating.
And then Mincy thought he had a big moment where he was like,
Dave, I'm going to donate $1,000.
After saying he won $14,000.
Not the best.
Oh, maybe we'll have him.
How many times to flip a bottle?
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
What is this?
Oh, boy, right now.
Not a spot where Dylan wants to be.
Totally correct, Brian.
Oh, God.
Oh, I knew it.
I knew it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
But I knew this. I've it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. But I knew this.
I've seen it.
That's brutal.
I didn't see that clip.
I didn't see that clip.
That was like a Robert Durst.
I killed him.
You can't even see it.
It's like super sponsored.
It's super, super sponsored.
Oh, no, man.
Just can't help himself.
The show is a gesture of goodwill.
And because I love what Dave's doing with his speeches,
donating a thousand of money to your Lifeline charity.
I have a pocket.
You won 14.
That's 114th of your paycheck.
Get him off.
No, no, no. Bring him back disgusting i think he thought that was gonna be the hammer look at kirk it's hard to make kirk laugh that hard at least half
that was i've thought about it deeply. I give one 14th.
This is why he'll never be fixed.
You don't think that was going to be the hammer.
You're like the top.
Oh, man.
Mincy versus hot mics.
It's the rivalry that haircut looks good.
Amazing haircut. Yeah, it looks good, though. Amazing hair cut.
Yeah, it looks good.
I was called out on this show, too, for being an enabler.
100% I am.
Yeah.
Without a doubt, you can't refute.
This is a lot of fun for you.
I am as much of an enabler as possible.
My idea about backing him is if he's going to be fucking up,
the content will be better if I'm the one who's getting killed
by him fucking up. Like him me backing him yeah adds another layer to the story that just
you just know he's gonna make a mistake how soon instant next time he does something go i think you
go a little bit i think he i'm gonna say he's got a clean month ahead of him. If he does nothing.
But I am in it.
Okay.
Well, he has the Chicago Poker Tournament, and isn't he going to –
he said he's going to the SEC.
Yeah, I think he's going south for a little bit.
The SEC Basketball Tournament.
Yeah.
I think he's going down there.
I was like, who'd you mute?
Wake Up Mincy.
Oh.
Oh.
Wake Up Mincy is back next week right yes that maybe then
yeah but it really i mean brandon you you kind of nailed it from the beginning like this
as bad as it was this is what mincey this is the content he produces yeah
yeah he produces the storylines that feed an entire week of Yeah He starts a small fire and we warm ourselves
For like a week
That he provides
Yeah
God bless him
I want to just get a red button in here
And see how long it takes for him to just maybe sit on it
Or something
Press it
Press the button
So yeah well how many events should we have tomorrow
i think all of us bring one okay yeah yeah we gotta we gotta plan this after because we gotta
tj's gotta be ready so we have some type of i have my supplies you do just what are they
i don't want to say because i want to prep i'll bring mine
i'm just doing the duck duck goose thing i think i like that's good yeah quickly yeah What are they? I don't want to say because I don't want them to prep. I'll bring mine.
I'm just doing the Duck Duck Goose thing, I think.
I like that. That's good.
See how quickly he...
Yeah.
But that involves other people.
Yeah, but he's always going to be the goose.
Yeah.
Oh, he got a haircut today.
He does look good.
It does look good.
I don't know.
I mean, he goes from a Southern Dullard's haircut to that.
Like, who's he trying to be?
What's he trying to do?
Like, just... I don't know.
You can't stop being an oaf if you just get a good haircut.
No, you don't stop who you are.
You don't stop being a fucking idiot from the south just because you get a fucking haircut.
He needs Big Cat's car.
I'll give it to him.
I'm an enabler.
It's what I do.
It would be funny if you bought the house next door to Brandon's and gave it to Mintz.
Oh my God.
Now that's an idea.
Oh, that would be the best.
I would hear him coming home every day.
Oh yeah.
You would hear him pull in.
I want to see that clip.
Play that again. what a clip to me it's and the first one's funny and that one got like millions of views the second one second one he did it again because he had already made the mistake
simply hours earlier and he came in just as hard just as straight he's the best
oh there goes what who's that it was lucas oh lucas lucas it was an absolute nightmare
everybody in the office surrounded him and pointed and laughed at him. Wait, I missed this. Yeah, this is bad.
1145, he shows up.
We have lunch.
What are you doing, Lucas?
Now he doesn't know where to park.
Is he leaving? He's leaving.
You can just park in the driveway,
asshole. Hey!
Where's he going?
Is there a fire hydrant over there? No, it was over here to the right.
What is he doing?
I don't know.
He was going to park over there.
I got food in there waiting.
Hey, boy, don't get out.
Come park it in the driveway.
Son of a bitch.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
All right.
Well, he already has it broken, huh?
Then you got to play the last one.
The next one.
Sorry, I'm 15 minutes late.
Didn't acknowledge that he hit your driveway at all, even though it was glaring.
Second one, though.
We're all thinking the same thing.
Oh, no. He's arrived. Let's see if he does again driveway at all, even though it was glaring. Second one, though, we're all thinking the same thing. Oh, no.
I'm going to do it again.
He's arrived.
Let's see if he does it again.
Is he easing into it?
Oh, my.
All you have to do is come in at an angle.
Come in at an angle.
He doesn't even know he did it.
What noise was that?
A tub of Chico?
Oh, my God.
Hey, Lucas.
Brandon tried to send Lucas home today.
What happened?
His pants are too tight.
His pants are too tight.
And the whole office surrounded him and pointed and laughed.
Come here, Lucas.
Come here, Lucas.
Get in here, Lucas.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God, dude.
Oh, my God, dude.
What is that ass?
What?
You're fucking... Dumpy, I don't know.
How did you get in those?
No one else could get in those.
No, probably not, but yeah.
This made me feel like I'm wearing Jankos right now.
Yeah.
Suddenly.
It was nightmare fuel earlier.
Is this the first time you've worn those to the office?
No, no.
You've worn those before?
Yeah.
And we let you get away with it?
Yeah, probably like two months.
Has Jerry seen you?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I took Jerry to him.
And what did Jerry say?
It was disappointed.
Yeah, he doesn't love my fashion choices.
How fast could you take those on and take them off and put them on again?
I mean, it wouldn't be that hard.
Stand up again. I mean, it wouldn't be that hard. Stand up again.
Turn around.
Yeah, turn around.
I can read your text messages on your phone.
Dude, those are so tight.
They are tight.
They are.
They are, yeah.
They sure are.
Are they comfortable to you?
Are they?
I wouldn't say they're uncomfortable.
Okay.
That's not what you want to say about pants.
Go ahead.
When I moved here, I owned two pairs of pants.
And I just bought these like a month after I got here.
And I was like, oh, Lululemon pants, so nice.
And they didn't really have my size.
I was like, but I need pants.
Oh, those women's pants?
No.
No.
Are you sure? Yes. They might be. Positive. and they didn't really have my size. I was like, but I need pants. Oh, those women's pants? No, no.
I, are you sure?
Yes.
It might be.
Yeah.
Positive.
I think those are women's pants. They're not women's pants.
I promise.
Those have a non-zero chance of being women's.
But you got Lululemon pants that didn't have your size.
So you went to the women's section and they had your size.
No, no, no.
What do you mean your size?
Like your waist?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, they.
Did you find your size across the store?
What size is your waist? 29.
Okay. These are 28
but I do have another pair
of these that are 29 and they're not
as tight. Well that makes sense.
I think he's wearing a bigger size.
That was my pre-baby size.
28s. I miss being a baby.
Stand up again Lucas?
Kate would ruin her back. And then today he walked in the movie. Try to get in them. Yeah. Stand up again, Lucas. Kate would ruin her back.
Yeah, do you?
And then today, everybody, he walked in the office and everybody just followed him like
he was the Pied Piper.
And everybody was just coming out of rooms.
It was like a nightmare.
It brought the whole office together.
Oh, my God.
It was great.
Yeah, the security footage, like, people are just coming out of nowhere.
Can we see it?
People are just piling out of rooms.
We got to get the security.
People are, like, z zip lining down from the upper.
Yeah, it was the most people I've ever seen.
I need to see the security footage.
But today's the first day ever people notice because you said you've worn them here before.
Yeah.
29s?
Yeah.
No, these are the 28s.
The 29s are khaki color.
Can we get you some pants?
Let's get you some Roback pants.
Some joggers?
I mean, that would be nice.
Yeah.
Roback is a lot more comfortable than what you're wearing.
Probably.
Probably.
That's a fact.
They are kind of tight.
But yeah, I only have like five pairs of pants.
Okay.
Well, we'll get you some Roback joggers.
20% off.
Use code YAK.
They are the most comfortable joggers.
It's a fact.
Also, you can't come back in here looking like this.
Brandon tried to send him home.
You were right there with me.
I want to see this video, this security footage.
Every room had people coming out of it.
It was like a scene from a zombie film.
Do we have a TJ?
I don't know.
I haven't seen this.
Where did you see the security?
Chris and I pulled it up.
Can you go get it for us?
Yeah.
Also, you guys just quit streams now?
I mean, I haven't quit.
Oh, we quit streams?
No.
Streams.
No, that one.
What's this?
I missed all of it because I went to Indie.
Is Jerry a quitter?
He's getting dubbed a quitter?
No.
Shameful.
It's not quitting.
Like, we streamed for five hours, which is like.
But you guys know that you could easily avoid this by saying
we have a time that Sketch has to go to the airport.
Yeah, I think we did say.
We might not have been super clear about it,
but we did mention that.
But then everyone was like,
oh, you're just using Sketch as the fall guy so you could quit.
You could have pushed his flight back.
The dude has a life.
He doesn't work for us.
He can't just...
Yeah, you should have just said instead of if you knew someone had to leave you should have been
like we're just gonna stream for five hours i think yeah they wanted to well we weren't going
to be like oh well that was our issue with the bowling one where we were like oh jerry can't
stream 24 hours because he's got a flight to catch in the morning and we said oh we'll stream four
hours then if he doesn't get it we'll stream eight hours blah blah next time and when we got the
when he got the 300 people were still like pissed because we had a time limit on it anyway yeah
people are gonna be pissed no matter what oh yeah that's a fact and i told jerry that but the
problem is you if you have someone who has a flight, you should just say that beforehand and be like this isn't what everyone
expects. Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if we explicitly
had very clearly said
that. Also, they played five hours.
No, I know. Listen, I'm not
saying... You can't quit, Jared,
your dark streams. It's not the fact
that five hours is a great stream. I'm saying
you just have to tell the audience exactly
the situation before you start.
Otherwise, they will be very upset, which I understand.
Yeah.
No, five hours is a lot.
You don't understand?
No, I actually don't understand.
I think Jerry's audience needs to sack the fuck up and realize that sometimes somebody has to go to the airport.
I know.
I know.
Yeah, that's what I think.
I agree.
They should have just said we're streaming Madden for five hours.
I think they did, though.
I think they said they started saying.
They said they were planning to get four.
We didn't want to put a time limit on it because we wanted there to be, like,
if you just say you're streaming Madden for five hours,
and it's like, why keep watching if we had the little challenge.
But then the opposite side, they're going to be like, we got duped.
But you could frame it as a race against the clock.
We have five hours.
We are going to try to win the Super Bowl in five hours.
And I know you quitting isn't in your genes.
Not enough space.
Not nearly enough.
I just think you have to just tell the audience beforehand.
That's all.
Yeah, I just, yeah.
If you explain it to them, they'll be mad anyway, just yeah if you explain it to them they'll be mad
anyway but at least you explain it to them then they can't be mad for being they can't say you
quit a stream if you tell them exactly what's gonna happen yeah we just like it just like
feels like we can't please no that's it will always be the case yeah but you can plug a couple
holes where you don't leave yourself open yeah that's that's a good point. Yeah, that he came all this way feels like a little waste.
Doesn't it?
Yeah.
All right, go find that security.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, you're the first one out there now.
Like I'm lost to a flame.
All right, where is he?
Is it earlier?
No, I think he'll come in and then we'll all follow him.
I thought that was him.
Okay.
Did you pull all the security
footage?
There's Trey.
Yep.
Oh, there's Trey.
Oh my goodness.
Oh, we're. There we go.
Oh, we're mean, dude.
Everybody's coming out of every room.
That's incredible.
Can we make him stand up oh no
that's so perfect
nightmare
oh man
there's a phone clip too with all the audio
Cody's recording there and it's like
I explained it to Nick
I was like it's like those dreams you have
when you're naked.
You're like in a mall or something.
Everyone's like staring, laughing at you.
And that was just me in real life.
Everyone's just staring, laughing at me because of my pants.
Now people are coming specifically
just to see the pants.
Let's see the pants.
Incredible.
Oh, man.
Well, thank you, Lucas.
Yeah, yeah.
It was fun, Lucas.
Yeah.
Oh, my.
Walk slow.
Walk slow.
My goodness.
He can't.
He's too aerodynamic to walk slow.
He cannot.
Look at those things.
They're so tight.
How do you...
You have to know when you're walking out of your house
that these are way too tight.
Oh, my God.
They're so tight.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
You can't wear those pants here.
I can do whatever I want.
Look at these pants. You can't wear those pants here I can do whatever I want What happened?
Look at your pants
You gotta get out of here
Oh my word
You tried to pounce
Get the fuck out of here
You gotta go
Go home
Go home You can't make me go home.
You see these pants?
Paige comes in and goes, this is an HR violation.
I thought she was talking about all of us bullying him.
That's like how to report your pants.
Holy shit.
Oh, my eyes.
Is he shopping?
Oh, no.
Holy shit, Lucas.
I mean, he had to know.
He's not going to be able to swing a golf club in those pants.
They just split and shoot off.
Oh, hey, look out split and shoot off. Oh, wait, look.
There he goes.
They're so skinny.
Can we cut to other cameras?
Oh, my gosh. They're so small.
You've got to find them.
I just want to watch them.
Yeah, it's fine.
Follow those pants.
After those pants.
Step on it. Keep an eye on the pants it's like it's like a police chase get in a cab to chase a chick to the airport get the helicopter view we need
flo solely's drone just go over his head the whole time everywhere he goes.
That's crazy that he can't... You can't come here.
Everyone knows when they put on a pair of pants
or a sweatshirt that's way too tight.
Immediately take it off.
The pants you know immediately.
Like a sweatshirt you might get to work with.
Oh, this is a little...
I don't like this.
He thought he could get away with that.
What a slap in the face to us.
Yeah, that kind of is fucked up. The bullying culture we built here. You thought he could get away with that. What a slap in the face to us. Yeah, that kind of is fucked up.
The culture that we, the bullying culture we built here.
You thought you could get away with that?
This place means something.
You don't just get to do that.
Not a chance.
Oh, fuck.
I don't want to see him again, though.
I do, too.
We got to find him.
J.D. Cassell Text you back?
Oh yeah
No
I think you gotta follow up now
Just be like
Hey man
Yeah
Sorry if that text
Was too forward
Might have been out of bounds
Didn't mean anything by it
And then if he doesn't answer this one
You call him bitch
Fine
Yeah
Turn on him
Like you think you can treat people like this
Yeah
It's been 26 minutes
I'm sure he's
I'm sure he's like
Talking to people before drills start
Yeah no he's definitely Yeah yeah yeah No no he's He totally Yeah he's like talking to people before drills start. Yeah, no, he's definitely.
No, no, he's totally.
Yeah, he's busy.
Yeah, he's working.
He's not with someone else.
As soon as he can, he's going to text you back.
Yeah.
If you want Lucas on camera more,
should we make him run the gauntlet with those pants on?
Oh, yes.
Thank you, TJ.
Yes, TJ.
Get it set up.
Get it set up. Oh, he's on the wet wheel now. Oh, TJ. Get it set up.
Get it set up.
Oh, he's on the wet wheel now.
Yeah, he is.
But yeah, let's have him run the gauntlet.
Do you want to play goalie, Malasek?
I can play goalie.
He's on the towel whip wheel.
Oh my God.
This is going to be a great gauntlet.
Where are those pants? Where are those pants? Somebody find pants somebody find me those pants you can move that che uh we should actually we should all wear those pants and try to do the
gauntlet yeah yeah that's the new part i don't know it would be a tight fit for che oh yeah
jay's hammer cock.
I don't know if I think differently about him now.
Like, it's just crazy.
I just, we shit on him and he takes it and now I know why.
Right, that explains why he says then all the time.
In his head, he's like, I got a bigger cock than all of them. All these guys combined.
Yeah.
Combined.
Might.
He might.
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TJ, by the way, roof ball guys hit me up.
We got to pick when we want to do our regional.
Okay.
Okay.
So if we do it with Heinen again, we could do it like May or June.
Great.
And we should have everyone in the office compete.
That would be fun.
That would be awesome. Will we look for a house? Yeah, we'll have to in the office compete. That would be fun. That would be awesome.
Will we look for a house?
Yeah, we'll have to find a house.
That should be easier than the same.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Take the Jankos off.
It's long johns.
You're wearing long johns
Yeah TJ we'll be able to find a house
Whoever and by the way
Whoever can give us the best house
Where can they send submissions TJ
My twitter DMs
Okay so send submissions to TJ
Obviously it's gotta be Chicago land
Less than 30, 45 minutes.
And whoever submits the house gets an automatic entry into the regional qualifier.
If you're considering sending a house.
Yeah, we have to pick your house for you to be in.
You have to have a good roof with something that we could use as an object sticking off of it.
Correct.
Not on the edge of the roof.
Correct.
We have to be able to throw around a chimney and have a ball come back down on the other
side.
Your chimney is all the way to the end.
Don't even bother submitting.
Yes.
No fake pipes.
No Photoshop pipes.
Don't just glue a pipe on.
No double-decker pipes.
It needs to be a single level over a garage.
I need you guys to look at Lucas.
And if your house is picked, you'll be entered.
That's Sid from Hey Arnold's Pay.
Going down to the white booties.
Oh my god.
You can, I know, it's HR, but you can really see.
You can see the outline of his ass you can see his entire ass
this is his punishment for thinking that he could get away with this. Who's got my count?
Huh?
Sporkle ready, TJ?
Are we on a delay just in case they do
split into like one million pieces?
They'll shatter?
This would be the greatest redemption story
ever, though, if he crushes everyone
and crushes it, then we are...
No, it would still be a pants storyline.
Oh, yes.
Are we good, TJ?
Yes.
All right, Lucas, you ready?
Yep.
Three, two, one, go.
Ooh, a little bend.
Oh, it's a wrap.
Oh, it's a wrap.
Keep bending down to get them.
There he goes.
Ooh, ooh. Squeak, squeak, wrap. Keep bending down to get them. There he goes.
Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.
That did not go in.
There you got him. Baseball.
Look at him. Oh, the TV, little Aang.
Hey, did you see his pants?
He a goalie's heart, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
The friction has to be unbearable.
Oh my god. There we go.
He's got to be rubbing his dick down to just like a bump.
Yep.
Yeah, he's doing pretty good, though.
He's doing well.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Lucas.
Ooh, he's good.
He's good. Great.
There he comes.
Come on, Lucas.
137.
Okay.
17 NFL teams with one letter in their logo.
Oh, man.
Not even out of breath.
No, I am. Oh, yeah. Not even out of breath. No, I am.
Oh, yeah.
Lies, Apple, Pumpkin.
Eight schools with more than two NCAA basketball championships.
Duke.
There you go.
UConn.
Yeah.
Villanova.
Yeah.
Kansas.
Yeah.
Kentucky.
Oh, he's crushing.
Oh, he's crushing.
One letter or not.
Three more.
Y.
Letter Y.
No.
Dylan and Cole.
You know seven NFL teams with one letter in their logo?
Oh, man.
Just a letter in their logo.
Wait, is that ten?
He needs one more.
One more.
One more. Pie flavor. oh man there's a letter on their logo wait is that 10 he needs one more one more
pie flavor
the team here
team here
um what
oh the fuck
Tim Burton
time
there we go
pretty good
nice
what are the other
eight schools
hold on don't hit it
TJ what you know Michigan State nope There we go. Pretty good. Nice. What are the other eight schools? Hold on. Don't hit it, TJ.
What?
You know them.
Michigan State.
Nope.
North Carolina.
Michigan State, yes.
Let's just say yes.
They don't have more than two.
Oh, they have two.
It's more than two?
How many does Louisville have?
Nope.
Two.
UCLA.
Indiana.
Indiana.
Louisville has three, actually.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Oh, yeah, I was thinking two.
How do you not have the top?
Yeah.
All right.
Seven NFL teams, one letter in the logo, Bears.
Uh-huh.
Packers.
Yeah.
Commanders, does that count?
Yeah, Washington.
Does Falcons count?
The bird looks like an F.
Yeah.
Do the Texans know?
That one's like sneaky hard.
Bengals?
Yeah.
The Broncos old school one with the D and the horse.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh. Huh. and the horse huh huh huh
huh
huh
this is
huh
huh
do the chart
the letter is Q I think
Rams?
Titans
Q
Titans yes
the Rams new one is just LA right?
well that's two letters
two letters
yeah
what is the...
Is there one with an S?
Travis Barker.
And then Mark Hoppus.
Mark Hoppus.
Five territories with permanent non-military properties.
Yes.
This is going to bother me.
Horseshoes, clovers, and balloons.
Art star rainbows, clovers. Clovers and blue moons.
Pots of gold and rainbows and big red balloons.
Pots of gold.
Red balloons.
Red balloons.
What's this last logo?
Browns?
Yeah, it's driving me crazy.
No.
Are they going to count the Eagles E?
Isn't the Phillies a P?
Colts?
No, Colts have a horseshoe.
Horseshoes.
Horseshoes.
Wait, horseshoes are multiple answers here?
Yeah.
Lucky charms.
What is it?
We've got to get this.
All right, all right, all right. Let's go through the teams.
Division by division.
All right.
NFC South.
Saints, Falcons, Bucs, Panthers.
Nope.
Okay.
NFC North. Vikings,
Lions, Packers, Bears. Vikings.
No, right? No.
No, it's a guy. Did you have one with a V?
NFC East. Eagles,
Cowboys, Commanders, Giants.
Is it Giants? Giants is NY, right?
NY, right? Alright. NFC West.
Cardinals, Seahawks,
Niners. Rams. Rams.
No.
AFC South. Colts, Jags, Titans.
Is it Titans?
We have Titans.
We have Titans.
Titans, Texans.
No.
AFC East, Dolphins, Bills, Jets.
Oh, Ravens.
Is that a B?
Yeah, a B.
Yeah, Ravens is a B.
Great.
Okay, that's all.
That would have bothered me.
Okay. Yeah. I feel good about that. Cherry. That would have bothered me. Okay. Yeah.
Feel good about that.
Cherry? That was a good time, Lucas.
We should just finish this off.
What are the characters?
Director of Rocky. Rocky Balboa?
I don't know. Was it Stallone? Did he direct that?
What is the territory? Five U.S. territories
with permanent non-military population.
Guam. Puerto Rico.
Guam.
Virgin Islands. Guam. Puerto Rico. Guam. Yeah.
Virgin Islands.
Samoa.
American Samoa.
Northern Mariana.
Scott.
The Russos.
Why did he not do that?
Did Cameron do aliens?
Clint Eastwood.
Uh-huh. Did Cameron do Aliens? Clint Eastwood. Lady Bird was the same who did Barbie.
Redditor Wig.
Don't worry, Darling was Olivia Wilde.
Are you gay?
I'm all for women directors.
Great movie.
The Breakfast Club is the guy who did all the movies from Chicago.
John Hughes. The pants are still the guy who did all the movies from Chicago. John Hughes.
Yeah.
The pants are still here.
Pants are still here.
All right, see you.
You want to leave?
Sisterhood of the-
Bring them back.
Blistered Wood of the Traveler.
I don't want your pants.
Blistered Wood.
Fast Five is...
Is that Vin Diesel?
Was he the director?
Eastern Bluebird.
It's got to be a cardinal for like half a year.
Well, yeah.
I think Illinois is a cardinal.
Oh, Mississippi is the mockingbird.
Very sassy bird.
Too cardinal. Okay. I might have been lying about the mockingbird. Two cardinal.
Okay.
I might have been lying about the mockingbird.
There we go.
Really thought it was the mockingbird.
What's the last marshmallow?
Sparrow?
Do a sparrow.
Heart star.
See a sparrow.
Horseshoe clover, blue moon.
No.
Maybe a grouse.
Rainbow?
Massachusetts gets off grouse or turkey vibes.
How is it not gold? It's fucking gold.
Alright, just give up.
It's a unicorn now. The wood duck?
Oh, you were pretty close with
wild turkey there. Wood duck.
They changed the gold to
a unicorn? Yeah.
Who could forget Justin Lin?
Why is Wisconsin's a mourning dove?
And American Robin.
They have two.
They have two.
Should we just rip another snorkel?
Make sure you put pants.
Yeah.
Oh, so Lucas is consistent with his time.
What was the asterisk
for his first time?
I want to say there was also a different goalie that day.
Maybe McCarthy was in goal.
Yeah, I mean, there's no one who can be like Malasek.
Like, I was just.
Wait, the asterisk for Lucas is just Lucas?
It said Lucas.
Question mark.
Okay, good note keeping.
There he goes.
Oh, God.
Somebody DM me that one of the events tomorrow should be Mints putting on those pants.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so do you guys like the Mincey versus Mahomes?
Because I want there to be some type of like, otherwise we're just watching him do it, right?
I think that is the fun, though, right?
Could we do something to him to change?
Should Mahomes go first?
To change his.
Mahomes could go first.
Mahomes goes first to set the bar, and then Mincey tries to beat it.
Because I am worried about when he goes through the second time.
I have a concern that
the Mahomes you guys are talking about is Mincy.
No, he still doesn't get it.
Yeah, you don't get it.
TJ, what do you think?
I don't get it. What do you mean you don't get it?
I don't really get the...
We're going to make him do it twice.
Right, but it's Mahomes.
And then whoever wins gets...
We have to figure that out.
There has to be stakes.
What if you have him go against the field,
and if he gets the lowest score in any group,
then he gets a punishment wheel based on that.
Oh, what if Mincy's going,
and we pick someone here has to go against him
for each event?
Because it's Mincy's pro day.
Right.
But you need a, I feel like there has to be some type of competitive thing that's going
No.
Why are we here?
Because the company came together and did a combine the other day.
But let me ask you a question.
When we, when Mincy just runs a 35 yard dash and he gets four and a half seconds, then what?
What does that mean?
What do we do with that information?
I thought the fun was going to be in creating the event.
I agree.
Should we set an over-under on times?
If he goes over, he has to stay an extra hour at work or come in an extra hour.
Or we could set an over-under on times and things, and he has to complete it until he can work or come in an extra hour. Or we could set it over under on times and things,
and he has to complete it until he can move on to the next one.
Yeah, yeah.
There has to be some sort of punishment.
Or have him do a first trial run but make him believe it's the only run,
and then the next run he can't move on until he beats his first time.
Yep.
It's Mincy versus Mincy, and he has to beat his first run.
Or will he throw that? That's what I'm saying. We have to make him
think it's only one run.
Or we could do, like I said, where it's like we just
or we have regular, anyone in the office
could compete against him in a single event
and he has to win a certain amount of events.
Oh, he has to challenge a specific
someone he thinks he can beat.
And he has to win a certain amount of events
that day. I love that idea, Kyle. He gets to pick anyone in the office. Here's the event. He can thinks he can beat. And he has to win a certain amount of events that day. I love that idea, Kyle.
Yeah.
He gets to pick anyone in the office.
Here's the event.
You can't pick anyone twice.
Yeah.
You can pick anybody you want to go up against.
I like that.
Okay.
Who do you think you can beat at this?
Yes.
So we're going to see all the women in the office tomorrow.
Oh, very cool.
Yeah.
I like that.
And then so we'll come up with the amount of events,
and he has to win a certain amount.
Yeah.
Or else he has to keep going.
He has to win more than half.
Yeah.
He gets to pick anyone.
Oh, I like this.
Tomorrow's the first of the month.
So my karaoke idea.
My favorite text I've ever gotten was that day from Big Cat to the Yak.
Brace yourself, boys.
Said the N-word.
Oh, what a day.
I woke up to that and it was... Oh, what a wake up.
Someone said Mincy versus Kyle in every event for Wake wake up mincy the rights to wake up mincy
oh kyle would you would you compete for ip do you have mincy on as a guest
do i have him on would you have him on as a guest for wake up mincy if you
if you won the ip to wake up no probably not
no i like this here we'll we'll make a big board of anyone who's eligible and if they if he
challenges them you you erase their name so you can't pick them again yeah so he has to be
strategic about the yeah right who he picks right Okay, this is good.
So we'll do, let's say, 15 events.
So he's got to win half.
15 events?
Yeah, remember, we already have five set that are just the same as last time.
Okay.
So it's not like a huge haul.
Okay.
This is going to be fun.
It's Mincy versus The Office.
Yeah, there it is. Yeah. Okay. This is going to be fun. It's Mincy versus The Office.
There it is.
Yeah.
And if he doesn't go over 500, does he have to restart event one?
I don't know after that.
He needs an incentive, though.
Yeah. It has to be, like, something involving his escapades where he goes away to things.
Like, put him on probation from going to poker events.
We do have the air tags.
I don't want to take away that from Mincy, though.
If you take away his poker, what is he going to do?
Go to Widespread Panic every goddamn weekend?
He has to tweet something mean about them.
About Widespread Panic?
He's done with Widespread Panic.
He'll quit.
Yeah, no, I know.
He has to tweet to Meek Mill.
Okay, I'm looking at the chat for help.
Someone said, Mincy ice bath punishment.
Every failed challenge adds time to the ice bath.
That's pretty good. I would like to see him
in an ice bath. Yeah, do we have an ice bath?
All you need is a...
I have a little dog pool
that folds out and it
could be easily done.
We just need a garbage can, right?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we could just do a garbage can so alright
that's a good one cause that's a good conclusion
so I think he's
impervious to negative reinforcement
no but alright but hold on
think about the noises
I would love to see him
in an ice bath yeah the ice bath
noises would be like a whole new album.
So everyone he loses adds a minute, adds 30 seconds.
I think he starts at 30 seconds,
and we say everyone he loses he adds like 15 seconds.
Yeah.
So if he lost, what would cause death?
We should do whatever would cause death a second less.
One second less. One second less.
All right, so if he lost every single one,
it would be close to four minutes.
That's nothing.
Yeah.
If he loses eight, and it's 15 seconds,
then that's two minutes. Two minutes. think that yeah yeah so i think it should start the baseline should be two minutes and every time he loses
his 15 seconds at it so if he wins every event he still has to do it for two minutes yeah yeah
yeah the noises okay i like this i think is going to be a very fun episode.
I think it's going to be a very fun day.
And we'll just tell everyone.
I'll email everyone and be like, unless you have an injury.
You are eligible to compete against Mincy.
All right.
So off air, we're going to come up with the actual events.
Yes.
Hank, do we have an ice bath?
We have one in a box.
We have one in a box.
We have one in a box. Can we take in a box. We have one in a box?
Can we take it out of the box?
In theory.
In theory.
That's a yes.
Yeah.
So, yeah, can we do that?
We're doing testing for Minzy's pro day.
What do you mean?
We got the advanced stats.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but this is for the pro day.
Come sit down, Hank, real quick.
He fell for it again. Fell for it again Hank, real quick. He fell for it again.
Fell for it again.
What a fucking idiot.
Fell for it again.
Oh, well.
No, I have a question about Mincy's pro day.
All right.
Now you're on the wheel.
No, no, no.
I actually have a question.
So we're going to do 15 events, and it's going to be Mincy versus the office.
So he has a list of everyone in
the office who's eligible who's like who wants to participate what happened in my homes we we were
thinking it through and i think this is way better kyle's kyle came up with this idea it's very good
so it's 15 events he has to pick who he wants to go against in each event so like first event is
the is the 35 yard dash he has to pick someone's name off the whiteboard and once
they're picked they're erased off the whiteboard and every time he loses an event he adds 15
seconds to the ice bath and he has it's starting at two minutes so he could potentially have to
go in the ice bath for like five minutes or zero no two is the base oh if he wins it doesn't come off yeah two is the baseline yeah
we have we have ice baths in boxes that are like 30 feet long like i don't know how big these ice
baths are all right let's get these are huge we can get them out though but hank just brought up
something what if it starts at four minutes and if he wins it's the time goes down less and if he
loses his 15 seconds more because you incentivize him to win.
Yeah.
Okay, so maybe that's it. What's the average
ice bath time? Yeah, let's look up.
Start at three minutes. Depends on how cold it is.
I like three or 250.
Way too advanced for what we're doing here.
Stats are too advanced?
They're for pro teams to evaluate
data and load management and
exact, precise things for athletes.
We've got to let the whole office know
they've got to be ready to compete tomorrow.
I was also thinking if he lost an event,
there would be a topic we assign him
that he has to blog about.
Ooh, I'd like that.
That might be better than the ice bath.
I think my event's going to be the Oklahoma drill.
I just want the ice bath because the sound.
Yeah, right. Well, why don't we have be the Oklahoma drill. I just want the ice bath because the sounds. Right.
Well, why don't we have that as one of the pro day things?
Ice bath?
Three-minute ice bath.
Oh, yes.
He has to go against someone.
Who could stay in longer?
Okay.
All right.
All right.
I like the blog.
All right.
Now we've got some really good.
And if he fails, that's another blog that he has to write about a topic we choose.
Yeah.
Okay.
So the ice bath will happen no matter what.
Yes.
Now we are saying that he could pick one of us to go in the ice bath.
Yeah.
If we already competed in the pro day, though, we're exempt, right?
No.
Damn it.
You were trying to throw me under the fucking bus?
You competed?
I mean, you took part in it.
No, there'll be a list of everyone.
I'm going to send an email.
It's being like, if you have an injury or you don't want to compete, just let me know
and we'll take you off.
Super.
There's some good data.
Like, he's going to have to use a lot of strategy in this.
Okay.
All right.
So the ice bath will be its own challenge.
Yeah.
Where's just who can stay in longer.
Somebody might forfeit that.
Do we need two ice baths so they're in the same time, or do we –
Have Mincy go first.
Maybe have Mincy go first to set the time.
That's a good point.
We're not really –
That person can.
We're not incentivizing the rest of the group.
Like if –
Oh, true.
The ice bath did help us. if he's like i picked connor
griffin to do the ice bath against like what what what is in it for connor to win he gets
mincy scheduled for a week you know what i mean he gets the week off i think it would just be a
point of pride like i don't think i'd want to lose to mincy yeah i agree i just i'm worried
there will be people i think a harder one like the ice pad might be interesting.
Do we have him compete or do we just set a bar?
Well, we could do...
What are they doing?
Looks like they're running suicides.
I got the solution.
How about $200 cash anytime anyone beats Minsky?
Any minute.
Okay.
That's it. Hurry up. Here we go. $200cy. Okay. Done.
Here we go.
$100 cash if you beat Mincy.
Perfect.
I'll bring a bunch of cash and we'll just do that.
So everyone will have an incentive to beat Mincy.
So what's his punishment?
He has to write a blog.
If you fail a challenge, there's a blog that is assigned
from that challenge. So let's say he fails... Women's reproductive rights. Yeah, he has to write a blog? If you fail a challenge, there's a blog that is assigned from that challenge. So let's say he fails.
Women's reproductive rights.
Yeah, he has to write about that.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, or should we make him write, like, how long of a blog do you think Mincy could write?
Without using the word I?
I mean...
What can we give?
What can be the punishment if he loses?
I don't hate the blog, but what hurts him?
He's unbeatable.
I know.
Like physical punishments, I think he's fine with.
It's nothing to him
I hear him
I hear him
he's about
he's out and about now
what could he do to that man
is he about to run a
about to get a preview
right now
maybe like get a Nike swoosh.
What's a punishment we can give Mincy?
Yeah, there's nothing.
What about like three lines?
Something fun with his new haircut?
But he looks too good.
Someone just said literally brand him.
Oh, God.
I think he'd be fine with it Yeah
I don't know what
What is the
So I think money affects him
The possibility of losing or gaining
How fast what?
Like miles per hour?
I think he went 14 miles an hour.
16?
Close.
Is that how he started?
Yeah, this pro day is going to be...
Yeah.
Everything about this pro day is going to be good.
What's that?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
That ain't bad.
Quick feet.
Pants.
Yeah, quick feet.
Quick feet.
Pants.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
He's wearing jeans that look pretty tight.
It doesn't matter.
He's moving.
Get 20.
Run, Mince.
Speed, Damon.
Speed, Damon.
Speed, Damon.
Quick feet.
There he goes. Run, Mince. Speed, Damon. Speed, Damon. Speed, Damon. Quick feet. There he goes.
Push, Mince.
Oh, there was a noise.
Are there, like, temporary tattoos that last, like, a week?
Get a henna face tattoo?
Yeah, like his neck.
Maybe his whole neck.
That won't do it.
I don't know who you're dealing with.
How do you break this guy?
What is he?
He loves White's Red Panic.
He loves him.
Ole Miss and Ben Mance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What if you had to wear Mississippi State gear?
Done.
For an entire week.
I think he would smile through it.
Yeah, he would.
What's the NIL collective for Mississippi State?
Oh, the Bulldog Initiative.
Yeah, he should have to give something to that.
What if he's got to busk downtown doing something until he makes $100?
He'll do it. Gladly. something to that. What if he's got to like busk downtown doing something until he makes a hundred bucks?
Won't, won't,
he'll do it.
Gladly.
Won't do any.
He'll post his highlight clip.
Maybe he could tweet out a video
for the Bulldog Collective.
I don't want to do that
for the Bulldog Collective.
Yeah, yeah.
Once it banned him
from seeing whites
for a year.
What?
You all right?
What?
What? What are you...
What just came out of your mouth?
What is that?
Lettuce?
Yeah, y'all gonna beat this motherfucker?
Is there lettuce in your lungs?
I got a little announcement.
What? You got an announcement to make?
Come here.
It's breaking news.
Damn, that hurt.
Nice haircut, Mincy.
Very nice.
Turn into Brandon a little bit.
Whoa, you guys do look...
Hold on.
Yeah.
Sit right there.
Yeah, you guys look exactly alike.
It's just funny because when I got to New York, I saw it was like Hollywood haircut.
I was like, I'll never be like that now.
Yeah, look at you now.
So the breaking news.
Obviously, y'all saw when I was on here Tuesday and my $1,000 donation.
Well, I tried it on the Unnamed Show today and it got laughed at as expected.
Well, you didn't expect it well
well anyway the palm beach kennel club has decided to match my thousand dollar donation and we'll be
and we'll be running a charity poker tournament to donate to a lifeline animal in may but that's
not you well i mean there's someone else's well i mean i gave they got a lot of partial people
on their streams because of me over the weekend. But anyway, so they're matching
the $1,000 and going to run
a charity poker tournament.
So he's giving $2,000 basically.
They're giving $1,000, but either way
we're trying to do more.
I don't think that's nothing.
Mincy, have you ever done an ice bath before?
No.
The cold is tough on me too,
but I'll do it.
That might just be it. We just but I'll do it. Okay.
That might just be it.
We just might have to do the ice.
Yeah, the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I have no idea yet.
Pro day tomorrow.
Excited.
Yep.
The Viva TV.
Shout out to our Viva TV crew.
I think they're doing an awesome job.
Me and Billy's training methods were interesting as usual,
the fight or flight stuff.
What is Blutman doing?
He's doing it his way.
He doesn't know how to do it. Is he doing it backwards?
What's he?
Your test is top speed.
Great hair flow.
Great flapping.
He told me this morning that he tried to straight face challenge
the comedy show last night.
Yeah, I didn't want to tell you.
He did the no laugh challenge.
He failed.
Did he do well?
But, yeah, I was like, wow.
I'm sure that'll mean a lot to the boys.
There were a lot of people doing that, Brandon.
That's what it was.
It's crazy.
Okay.
All right, well, Mincy.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Be ready.
I'll be ready.
There's a lot of challenges.
Okay.
We have a lot on the line.
I'm just shocked and would never imagine that.
Twists and turns?
No.
You will be competing against people.
You don't say.
All right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I actually have the idea.
Do you fart?
I have the idea, but I don't know if we can do it.
No.
But I have the idea.
What is it?
I would love to just see a Mincy versus Clemmer pro day.
I know.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Get him out here every night.
If I get Clemmer out here tonight, I'll pay for it.
A Mincy versus Clemmer pro day would be the best.
That now.
All right, I'm going to scrap everything.
All right.
Yep.
Yep.
Just the two of them just going mano a mano on everything.
Everything.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
All right.
They're facing each other on ice.
I'm calling them.
Who came up with that just now?
Who do you think he is?
That was brilliant.
Good shit.
Yeah.
I started thinking about how much I just like, that was so great.
Clemmer, you're on the yak.
Hello, hello everyone.
Hello.
Hello, hello, hello.
Clemmer, can you, do you have anything planned tomorrow?
Tomorrow, I have, um, uh, no, no, pick central and then I have some stuff for solitary confinement
I need to do, but other than that.
So, no.
All right, so.
Let solitary confinement start.
I need you to get on a flight to Chicago tonight.
Tonight?
Okay.
Uh, I'll get, I'll figure out all your travel and everything right after I finish the Yak.
It's going to be a Mincy versus Clemmer mano-a-mano pro day.
Okay, I can do that.
And we'll do a cash prize. Okay, I can do that. And we'll do a cash prize.
Okay, I like that too.
Okay, so it's going to be 15 events or so,
and it will be varying events.
We'll make sure that you...
No punishments for Clemmer, though.
No punishments for Clemmer,
but cash prize for Clemmer if you win.
Yes, absolutely.
Okay, so I'll hit you up as soon as we end the yak,
and we'll get you a flight, a hotel.
You'll be able to fly back after, so you can fly back Friday night,
so you can do your stuff on Saturday.
Yeah, so I'll tell you if I'm going to start on Monday.
Okay.
That'd be perfect.
Okay.
All right.
Perfect.
All right.
Thank you, Clemmer.
I'll text you in a minute.
All right.
Okay, bye.
Wow.
He is so down for what he's a man.
That's Clemmer, man.
I'm so excited for tomorrow now.
It feels like Christmas Eve.
I need all the graphics.
Mincy versus Clemmer is like, it's when Mayweather and De La Hoya.
We all going to take sides?
Well, I think we're all rooting for Clemmer.
Yeah.
Mincy's punished.
The movable object.
So now we got to make sure that we don't.
Maybe the weightlifting will just be the bar so that Clemmer can actually...
Nothing on it, Ian.
Everything fair.
Everything fair, right.
And I'll just give Clemmer...
Clemmer has a chance to win money.
Mincy has a chance to have to go into the ice bath.
Yeah.
Or no, Mincy's going to the ice bath.
No, I still want the guaranteed ice bath.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Mincy will just have to go in the ice bath. We'll just do it and Mincy will just go in the ice bath. Yeah, okay. Mitzi will just have to go in the ice bath.
We'll just do it and Mitzi will just go in the ice bath.
I know he didn't do anything wrong, but I'd like to see Clemmer in the ice bath.
He'd die.
You're right.
He'd die.
Yeah, that would take very quick.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
All right.
We got to get him here.
Clemmer in those pants would make him look like those.
One of the challenges has to be him putting the pants on.
All right. This is going to be incredible
Clemmer
Okay
Should we spin the wheel?
I want there to be like a crowd of bystanders
Cheerleaders
a band
that would be awesome
towel whip Lucas
oh my god
how does this work
crack his pants right off
elimination wheel
elimination wheel to find who gets whipped and one wheel to find who whips.
I don't think I know how to do it.
I don't think I'd be.
Yeah, it's kind of risky because the person might not know how to do it very well.
Yeah.
Is it something we're doing today or would that be?
This is today.
We could do it tomorrow as part of the.
No, no, no.
Oh, okay.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
We had so many people sit on the yak today.
Yeah.
Yeah, elimination to see who gets whipped.
Real quick.
See how it goes
you want to use a wet towel right yeah yes okay
this is gonna be incredible what a cornucopia of an episode i know a little bit everything in there
it all comes back to Che's big wide chop.
Big old sledgehammer.
I got the ball rolling.
Any text back?
He's probably intimidated.
What, sorry?
Nah, never mind.
You can pay attention to the show right now, man.
Well, I feel like we have to make Zah exempt from this wheel.
What wheel?
The towel-whipping wheel.
Why? Why? That's-whipping wheel. Why?
Why?
That's exactly what I asked.
He's down for whatever.
All right.
Why?
Jesus.
He does the other wheels.
All right.
Who?
Zah.
He said Zah should be exempt from the...
What?
What?
Why?
I see you.
Oh!
Zah's out.
Zah's out.
Zah's out.
Yeah, Brandon's history books probably look a little different than the rest of ours.
Tough optics.
I don't know if you remember a certain...
But Zaw can still whip one of us.
That's a reach.
Oh, yeah, that's a reach, too.
I think it's too far.
Yeah.
This is the yak.
I don't know that we're...
All right. This is the yak I don't know that we're Alright I don't want to be caught doing it
That's going to be the biggest punishment
The loser has to rip
Hold on
If it's Zod it's going to be me
I'm wearing a poker
It's going to be me I can'm wearing a Pope. It's going to be me.
I can't delete the clip.
That's my ticket home.
That is over.
That's my ticket home right there.
Okay.
Oh, no.
Okay.
So this is who's getting whipped.
This is who's getting whipped.
Eliminator or?
Eliminator.
And then the other one is just one first.
Oh, there we go.
There we go. The wheel is straight. The wheel's got our back oh there we go the wheel is straight the wheels got our back there we go
i think they got to do it until they actually get the whip no no like it once not let's add
za would you like to be the whip the person who whips hell yeah okay okay no no i'm kidding
no i think that's part of it i think it should be one shot really spider it'd be really
underwhelming can you grab us a towel?
No, yeah, you gotta do it until you get it.
I need it to be Lucas.
Those pants will split.
Oh, he's getting a towel?
What part of your body is getting whipped?
Ass.
Butt.
With pants off.
What?
It's got to be like a...
What do you got?
Oh, nice.
Body armor.
I think we've got to wet it.
Come on, Lucas.
Oh, my.
Thank you, God.
For what?
You're done for, Kate. You're getting it.
Oh, no.
You're asking for it.
I'm having the worst week of my life.
You should have done that, Kate.
He's in tremendous pain.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I mean, get the fuck out of here.
Oh, no, Kate.
Kate, a mistake was made.
No!
All right.
I'll take it for you, Kate. No, no. I'll take it for you, Kate. Can I take it for her? I'll take it for you Kate
Can I take it for her?
Can I take it for her?
No I gotta do it
But it might not be
Might not be Kate
It will be
This is gonna be quite the visual.
Yeah.
Is that the whip?
No.
One spin.
I don't want to be.
Oh, no.
It's big cat.
One nothing.
What if you get swept?
Is it bare ass?
Yeah, I'll do bare ass.
Okay.
No sweep.
Look at that.
Down for anything.
This will be...
Whoever has to...
If it's...
If it's Kate that gets whipped,
whoever has to whip Kate is going to be way worse.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That's the actual punishment, is you... Oh, it might be Kate? Who's your guest today? Ishuh. Yeah. That's the actual punishment is you.
Oh, it might be Kate.
Who's your guest today?
Is that, uh, what's his name?
Jim.
Yeah.
Jim Root, yeah.
Was he here before?
I think he's been here before, yeah.
2-2.
2-2. There we go.
Three, two, Kate.
One more.
All right.
There we go.
Who's going to whip me?
There is a God.
Who's going to whip me?
You may have doomed yourself by getting the towel already.
Well, I had to get it wet.
Yeah.
You have to get it.
It has to be wet.
Otherwise, it won't work.
I feel like you kind of want to get whipped.
I feel like.
No.
Although, there is something we said.
Like, you know, obviously, a lot of the bad ideas come from my brain.
So, it's good if I show that I'm okay to get punished as well. It's not that the bad idea comes from my brain. So it's good if I show that I'm okay
to get punished as well. It's not that the bad idea comes
from your brain. It's when somebody says something stupid or bad
you go, put it on the wheel.
Yeah.
Oh God.
That's a perfect
little whip and tap. Look at the dust flying off that thing.
It's water.
You do not want this to land on me by the way
I'm very good at this. I'm not good at it. Oh
Shit Oh, shit. Oh, shit. No. No. No.
Eliminator wheel.
Mark. Mark.
Incredible.
Incredible.
Oh, wow.
He's really rolling it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's rolling it tight.
Rolling the shit out of the thing.
Oh, he's rolling it tight.
Look at the glee in his...
He knows exactly what he's doing.
He's wearing the bow.
Bow.
Yep.
Look at this.
Look at this.
How hard do I do this?
Whatever you want.
I think you can get him.
Dude, this is...
Maybe the craziest visual we've ever had.
No.
Come on, Mark. No.
Come on, Mark.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my God. Yes.
Damn.
Wow.
Oh, that one was good.
That was good.
You could feel the crack. You could hear it. Oh, that one was good. That was good. You could feel the crack.
You could hear it.
Oh, man.
What a show, boys and girls.
What a show.
What a show, boys and girls.
Yeah, I wanted to get real sadistic, and then I saw your ass.
That hurts.
We used to We used to
We used to draw blood back in the day
Oh yeah some guys are great
Yeah
Oh yeah
It's like
I mean it's
It's so painful
Because it like hits
And then it also just stings
It makes a wild
After
Alright great yak guys
Tomorrow's gonna be even better
Climber vs. Mincy
Mono e Mono Two titans One champion We'll figure out all the stakes All right, great yak, guys. Tomorrow's going to be even better. Clemmer versus Mincy, mano y mano.
Two titans, one champion.
We'll figure out all the stakes.
We'll figure out all the events.
We'll have it all organized for tomorrow's show.
See you then. It's the act. Take care tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.