The Yak - Lucas's Tight Pants HIJACK Popcorn Ribbon Cutting Day | The Yak 2-29-24

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

One of the most random episodes of all time. 10X.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barsto...ol.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. All right, this is Yak, presented by Roback.com. Roback, the best hoodies, joggers, Q-zips, crew necks, all of the stuff you love to wear. It's very, very comfortable. Use code Yak on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase. r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com that's 20 off all the hoodies the crewnecks the joggers and more with code yak brandon yes love the kicks yeah probably good for
Starting point is 00:00:57 basketball for leaping happy leap day man happy leap day to you yeah yeah yeah it is only comes around once every four years that's crazy it's crazy uh titus buddy what the hell there is a shocking a shocking lack of respect around this company oh gregory the 13th who i i assumed everybody knew this. I know Kyle did. People were assuming you would dress up as a frog. Yeah, this dumb bitch Julius Caesar incorrectly believed that there were 365.25 days in a year. That is not the case. And it took Pope Gregory XIII in 1582 to step in and say, Julius, you dumb bitch.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Let me right your wrongs. Let me invent the Gregorian calendar. I thought I would pay my respects. And I'm getting a lot of questions around the office as to what the holiday is. And I don't know. I feel like it's pretty obvious that it's sleep day. So happy leap day, everybody. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Happy leap day to you. And now that we got that out of the way. All right, I'm going to go change. I thought it had to do with the boy ass in his house. That has to be what it was, yeah. He's a costume. It's Pope Gregory. We use the Gregorian calendar on a daily basis.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Of course. It's what we all have come to know and use. Thank you, Kyle. Yes. You get it. Is that your middle namesake, Kyle? Yes. Wow. Yeah. Oh, I can Yes. You get it. Is that your middle namesake, Kyle? Yes. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Yeah. Oh, I can't even look at you. So about last night, boys. Yeah. Fun. Yeah, had a good time. Fun one. Brandon. Yeah, Barstool Comedy Night.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Brandon disappointed me. He was good, and he wasn't nervous. Yeah. I was hoping for jitters. I was hoping for, like, panic freakouts. You were just solid. I was't nervous. I was hoping for jitters. I was hoping for panic freakouts. You were just solid. I was crazy nervous. A nice homage, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Cool outfit. That was unfortunate. But we had a good time. I tried to not do this for months. I said, no, no, no, no. I won't do it. I won't do it. I won't do it.
Starting point is 00:03:09 And then you guys made me do it. did it and it was it was it was fun it was a it was a lot of fun and you were just like i'm going to go up there say one joke then in between i'm just going to say names of who's up next yeah you would get up there and keep going you were all back yep you were having fun yeah you started feeling yourself yeah the mic you did a literal mic drop was that accidental no i did that on purpose okay i i just i don't know why i did it but in the moment i was like i'll just drop the mic but that was that was an in the moment thing that wasn't like okay next time i go up i'm gonna do a mic drop no the mic drop was i planned the bit but not the drop okay mook managed to embarrass himself oh my god yeah tremendously yeah they asked if he had any other Eskimo bros, other famous Eskimo bros other than Mo Bamba.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Right. Which isn't like an insult at all. No. He took it. He took it. And he said, uh, your fucking mother, implying that he fucked that guy's dad. Yeah, he did a your mother rebuttal that was gay yeah yeah he made himself gay that ended the whole show yeah that was it lights on yeah i don't know if i've ever heard your mom joke
Starting point is 00:04:14 fuck up that badly it was the way he a guy was like no no no it wasn't trying to shit on him just like hey do you have any other famous eskimo bros he was like yeah yeah your fucking mother oh that's about you can't how do you fuck that up man i saw he missed his connecting flight to miami did he yes yeah he's got his jeans on for nothing is that his fault for missing a connecting or gotta be yeah you have to assume it's but how because he was in the last row of the plane perhaps boy if he misses connecting to perth yeah i could put him anywhere well really just two places but and he said it's 400 to get a flight now or he can wait till 6 30 this evening that's what he's doing yeah huh yeah everybody uh he's going to spend more than $400 in the airport. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Good crowd, though, last night? You said it was a good. Well. Mediocre? Very mediocre crowd. No, no, filled the floor. I think that's just a testament to the first couple were just huge, extra sold-out crowds. That was probably a normal crowd.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Yeah, I wouldn't take that personally. And the other ones were Thursdays or Fridays. This was a Wednesday night. Yeah, Wednesday night seemed like the strongest night for comedy. Certainly not. The other thing is the other ones had guys, you put their, on the, you know, the flyer. Let me stop you there.
Starting point is 00:05:37 It was funny people who were big stars who command an audience. So, like, I wouldn't take it personally. I don't think people hated you. It's just more that the other ones had... They were confused. People you get really excited about. That was a once in a lifetime chance to see Big Cat bump into you at
Starting point is 00:05:55 any Chick-fil-A. It's pretty much only Chick-fil-A. Although I did have Wendy's today. That was crazy. What are Wendy's doing? They're doing something? They just made some nuggets. They still do that real watery chili? Well, first of all, we're not going to.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I love it. Okay, good, because I think Wendy's chili is a tremendous item. The chili you can drink. Yeah, I like their chili, and yeah, they still do it. 99 cent cup. It's really good. Is it really good? Well, you know, relatively speaking.
Starting point is 00:06:25 What's the number one item at Wendy's? Is it the chili? Spicy nuggets. Or the spicy chicken sandwich. I hate when people do that. I think you just want attention at that point. Now you're the weird kid at the lunch table. Hey, it's good.
Starting point is 00:06:39 It's sweet and savory together. It tastes good. So Big Cat and Shay, I believe, are on the way back. Should be here within the- From Indy. For like 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Should be here by 1230th. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:54 So we'll have them coming in. Otherwise, what else? Shay's going to be so giddy. What? Shay's going to be so giddy. Oh, yeah, he had the Schefter picker yesterday, right? I didn't know Schefter was that- Is he borderline dainty? Schefter? Yeah, he's- He did looker yesterday, right? I didn't know Schefter was that. Is he borderline dainty?
Starting point is 00:07:05 Schefter? Yeah, he's a small man. He looks like a tiny guy. He's a small man. The Combine has started? Yeah. That's a question. I believe it's starting.
Starting point is 00:07:14 It's starting today. Now, I don't know if that means it has already started or if it's starting tonight. Okay. Because they've done this thing. It's been in primetime a couple times. I don't know what they're doing. I don't know. Because it dawned on me that I realized that they went to went to the combine they are now coming back from the combine and i
Starting point is 00:07:27 have not seen one single clip of any athlete they didn't see a rep so they didn't i don't think they saw a rep i think they went shook hands yeah that's i mean chase not a small guy but he's also not seven he's not a mountain of a man that's a a really good hug. It's not like Mount, I don't know, Fuji. No, he's not Mount Fuji. Or Mount Kilimanjaro. Wait, where's that one? That's South America. Is that in South America?
Starting point is 00:07:54 Is that in Africa? I confused it with Acon Gagwa. He's not like K2. Toto taught us that Kilimanjaro was in it. Oh, you're right. Oh, that's true. It rises like a leprous above the Serengeti. Was Toto named after the dog?
Starting point is 00:08:09 Uh, no, I think the, uh... Whoa! Oh! Welcome back. Welcome, welcome. Hey, guys. Hey, Pope Gregory. Yeah, you get it.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah, thank you, Dan. Thank you. Thank you. Pope Gregory. It's a pretty standard costume. I was watching in the car. I was like, who the fuck is that car how was the combine it was great how was chay that was chay we got some chay stories three hours in the car both ways we got some chay stories i'm gonna wait till he gets in here because he's talking to the popcorn people uh oh yeah i mean i had to rush back for popcorn
Starting point is 00:08:44 yeah you really made good time. I did. You said an hour ago you'd be here about 1220. I know. We woke up early, did PMT, then got right in the car, rushed back so I could yak. Love it. Popcorn day. Big, big day.
Starting point is 00:08:59 I was shocked by the size of that machine. That's thrilling. Do you want me to reveal it? I think Chase is talking to them right now. We have the ribbon. And we have big scissors. We do. With big scissors.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Brandon, how many N-words did you say last night? None. Oh, I saw a picture that looked like it. It looked like you were saying it. It's like a dog with a bark in their throat. I didn't realize you were saying it. It's like a dog with a bark in their throat. I didn't, that was a trick. I didn't realize you did that outfit. I didn't know I did it.
Starting point is 00:09:30 You didn't know? I didn't know. That would have been funny. And TJ also texted me that. I think we went up at, I'm going to say I went up at 815. Yeah. TJ texted me that image at 817. Like he had been sitting, he had that one on deck all the time.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It was the first thing I noticed. I was like, oh, nice maroon. Ah, nice maroon. You didn't plan that at all. You had eight outfits. I mean, maroon's a standard color for me. Maroon's my number one color. With the sleeves up. Maroon's your number one color? Jeans? You know the maroon's my number one color. At the Laugh Factory? Oh yeah, it's the worst. With the left
Starting point is 00:09:59 hand in that position? That's just working. Feels like an homage. I'm just standing there. Feels like it. Mine's straight out. His is bent. Maybe it's just different angles.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Yeah, now that you Same exact spot. Yeah, I'm centered the exact same way. Okay, well, maybe I'm a racist. I'm proud of you, Brandon. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Not for the racism. What did I miss a racist. I'm proud of you, Brandon. Thank you. Not for the racism. What did I miss? What did I miss yesterday? Anything? There had to have been something. I think it's blurred. Oh, the fastest start ever to the gauntlet? We thought we had an all-time gauntlet.
Starting point is 00:10:36 What? Then it bogged down. Who was it? Comedian, Joey Avery. He hit the first bag, the first soccer of the first home run. Oh, my God. I would have been freaking Yeah, and then it slowed down
Starting point is 00:10:47 He was to football at 14 seconds Jesus Christ This guy an athlete? Yeah, always in shape Alright, Chase here Steve, welcome back You want some Chase stories? Steven?
Starting point is 00:10:59 Yes, please Okay We'll start with one that I think that everyone knows yeah i think we've talked about it on this show before um we actually would have probably made the start of the show if steven che didn't have to check out of the hotel what oh he's one of those guys steven che checks out of hotels 2024 man we were walking out out of the hotel, and I was like, where is Che? And Hank's like, he said he had to check out. I don't even know what that means anymore.
Starting point is 00:11:32 You just return your key? Yeah, like that was when you actually had like. You go to the front desk, you give him your key, and you're like, thanks. And they ask you for your receipt. Do you think they get pissed off when you ask to check out? Because they do. You don't have to check out. Did none of you guys check out?
Starting point is 00:11:45 No. I haven't checked out in like 10 years. The last time I ever checked out of a hotel was like when it was, if you stay at like an Airbnb and it's the actual key that like opens the door, the metal key. Yeah, I don't check out. I asked you if you checked out and you said you did. No, I didn't. I think I said, I think I said no.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Like, what are you talking about? Oh. Who checks out? I thought you were supposed to. So you've been checking out every time you go on a trip and stay in a hotel? Of course. And are they, like, appreciative? Like, oh, thank you for doing this thing that you needed to do.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Is that not the craziest? Like, he checks out hotels. Well, like, when I went on, like, the road trip to Vegas, I did. I needed those, those like receipts so why raynon you're being very quiet yeah do you check out of hotels no fuck that no i do not check out a hotel should we call a hotel and see if they appreciate it let's call the hotel we yeah what's the upside okay perfect okay yeah and if it's no no i'm gonna call them and i'm gonna say hey i forgot to check out. Is that a problem?
Starting point is 00:12:47 Then see if they'd like it. They might call you mentally challenged. Do you guys just put the thing in the key? No, you leave. Just leave. Throw the keys away later. You can keep the keys? I probably have five hotel keys in my wallet
Starting point is 00:13:01 right now. Easily. Yeah, I do. Oh, I mean. They have a in my wallet right now. Easily. Yeah, I do. Oh, I mean. They have like a huge drawer full of them. Here are the keys. They have. Here are the keys from the hotel that we just stayed at. Che, they have thousands of keys right there.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I think it's defunct after you use it. Well, no, they can just reprogram it. Are they reusing keys though? No, they just, they have that machine. You ever see that machine? Oh, yeah, it's instant. Yeah, they don't have to reuse it. If you lose a key, they give you a new one.
Starting point is 00:13:25 I got millions of them. I don't know. It was just ingrained in me. That's what you do. I didn't know that you can't just not do that. How? I wonder what percentage of hotel goers still check out. What's the longest you've waited in line to check out?
Starting point is 00:13:40 Definitely a couple people. Oh, that. Oh, my God. Well, this should be huge for you. It's a freeing feeling. They have the key drop, but sometimes you go and they'll wait and they'll be like, oh, yeah, key drop's right there. And then they're like, do you need a receipt or anything?
Starting point is 00:13:54 And then you say no, and then you're on your way. But then sometimes, you know, here's the keys. Thank you for your stay. See ya. Hold on. Knowing you don't need a receipt, what is the upside for you checking out? If you don't need anything from the transaction, why do it? you don't need a receipt what is the upside for you checking out if you don't need anything from the transaction why do it I don't know I never thought about it
Starting point is 00:14:10 I guess let's just have it I never thought I would not need to do it I had no idea this many people didn't do that alright I'm gonna call it when did you guys stop checking out years and years and years ago. 98?
Starting point is 00:14:26 A while. Whenever I was an adult. The fact that you wait in line sometimes. Honestly, when you go to hotels and they use those electric keys, which, again, was probably in the mid-90s. Yeah. Once they started using keys that cost less than a penny to make, it was like, oh, I don't have to return the key. I think there's even a key box that like less than a penny to make it was like oh i
Starting point is 00:14:45 think there's even a key box that you could technically yeah isn't there like some danger to returning keys because like all your info's on there too you're supposed to like break it in half i didn't really yeah and uh covid you know and covid yeah it's a covid hazard obviously Good afternoon, this is Karen. How can I help you? Hi, I'm calling because I just stayed at your hotel and I completely forgot to check out and I have the keys in my hands. Is there like a penalty or anything?
Starting point is 00:15:18 I'm so sorry. Let me see. What name Was it The reservation under It was It was Katz K-T-Z
Starting point is 00:15:29 Room 1623 Okay Yeah Alright I'll let the front desk know So is there I don't get a penalty or anything No Do people usually check out
Starting point is 00:15:39 Sometimes they do Yes But not really Not often No I mean There are some people that I would say most of them do Oh, okay
Starting point is 00:15:51 And that's fine Okay, alright, great, thank you so much I'll never let this happen again, okay, bye Oh, it's okay Are we the assholes? No, that's protocol Score that as a dub for me No. No, that's protocol. Score that as a dub for me.
Starting point is 00:16:08 No, no, no, no, no, no. She has to say that. I led her to that. She was struggling to play that character. And I was playing a character of someone who checks out being like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Steven, you call a different hotel. Kyle, can you call and be absolutely freaking out? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Okay, I don't know how to say this. I forgot to check out. Please don't be mad. I'm on the way back. I just got back. It was a six hour drive. I'll come back, I swear. No one checks out hotels. The only thing I can think is that they can send the cleaning crew
Starting point is 00:16:43 in sooner if they know. No, but there's a time. You have to be out by 11. Oh, you're right. Yeah, so what does it matter? So they don't come until then anyway. That is another good reason. No, no.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Well, no, no. That's fair. If you do check out at 9, they know that room is empty. They don't have to wait until 11. But they're cleaning all the other rooms too. They got a lot of shit to do. 11 is when they start doing it. This is a true story.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I did recently leave a hotel room, and it was early, and there was a cleaning person right next to me. I was like, hey, I'm done. You can just take it. Thank God that was a true story. I don't believe it. That was wild. They were standing outside, and you told them you're leaving? Yeah. Oh, my God. That told them you're leaving? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:25 There's no fucking way. Oh, my God. That's crazy. I'm calling Cap. Cap. All right. So, Steven, call another hotel and be like, does anyone ever check out a hotel? Call our hotel.
Starting point is 00:17:36 We just called them. We just called them. I'm calling someone in Chicago now. I am worried this is going to backfire in every hotel. Because this is like, you're calling the cops. They want you to check out. You're calling the cops and you're asking if people do drugs and they're like, no, nobody does drugs.
Starting point is 00:17:47 But what if hotels actually want us to check out so they're going to tell us, yeah, you should. Why would they want that? I don't know. Why? We need someone in the hotel business. Yeah, we need like a stoolie in the hotel business to just call and be like,
Starting point is 00:18:00 I feel like... This is their policy. Clifty Martino probably has somebody. Yeah, yeah. He sent us donuts, by the way, today. Thank you, Cliff. Thanks, Cliff. They were fraud.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Oh, I got someone. I got someone. Should I hang up? No, no, no. Go ahead. Still call. Hey, Stephen Choi, you're live to tape. Real quick, I forgot to check out of my hotel.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Is that a problem, or was that okay to just use the key drop which hotel yeah okay what percentage of people would you say check out of hotels manually like at the front desk? Maybe a third. A third? Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:52 All right. Thank you very much. A third. Yeah, a third. No big deal. You just leave the key in the room or drop it off here
Starting point is 00:18:57 at the front desk. All right. Great. Thank you. But I want to know what the hotels prefer. Yeah, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:04 I got someone. I almost didn't know the hotels. He asked you which hotel and you were like, great. Thank you. But I want to know what the hotels prefer. Yeah, yeah. All right, I got someone. I almost didn't know the hotels. He asked you which hotel and you were like, ooh. Ooh, tough question. Oh. Ooh. Oh, man. That's a good one.
Starting point is 00:19:24 A real brain buster. All right, I'm going to call a friend who used to work in the hotel business. There we go. He'll give us an actual answer. There we go. Hopefully he picks up. Ooh. Hey, kid.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Bobby Berger, you're live on the Yak right now happy to be here all right so everyone people should know who you are on the act but if you don't go follow brilliantly dumb uh he's he's taking over the golf world i have a question for you used to work in a hotel correct that's correct were you working front desk i was working front desk i did a little Bellman doorman, but I was front desk overnight shift confirmed. Okay, two-part question. First part, how many people percentage-wise actually checked out of your hotel? You worked at a nice hotel. You worked at the Four Seasons, right?
Starting point is 00:20:17 Correct. How many people percentage-wise checked out of that hotel? After one night? Or just—no, no, no, no. I'm saying they formally checked out. Their stay was over. night? Or just, no, no, no, no. I'm saying like they formally checked out. Their stay was over. They would come to the front desk. They'd be like, here are my keys.
Starting point is 00:20:30 I'm checking out. Oh, that's a great question. I would say, honestly, a hard 50-50. Really? I would say a hard 50-50. Okay. But does it matter? That's the second question.
Starting point is 00:20:42 It does not matter, correct? It doesn't. It's the right thing to do. Oh, God damn it. Why? That's the second question. It does not matter, correct? It doesn't. It's the right thing to do. Oh, God damn it. Why? What's the upside? Housekeeping's got to know that you're out to be able to turn over the roof. But what about 11 o'clock?
Starting point is 00:20:56 You've got to be out anyway. You do, but they could start earlier. Fuck. You really let me down, Bobby. Chase winning. I always think that we're doing a 150 chicken nugget challenge right now from Chick-fil-A. Oh my God. Who's doing it? Joey?
Starting point is 00:21:14 Where? Me, Fat Perez, and Joey Colcutt. All right. Put on Joey. Put on Joey real quick. He worked at the hotel too. You're live on the yak. You're live on the yak.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Well, he's just going to talk shit about me again. I've been... Every time I do, he just roasts me. You're live on the yak, Joey. I heard everything you just said, you fat fuck. It's not... It's all love. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 00:21:38 I love you, too. I have a question. So I just asked Bobby this question. Did you care when people checked out of hotels when you worked at the hotel? Well, I was in food and beverage, so I told them to stay as long as they like. Okay, all right. Well, this didn't help anything. All right.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Well, good luck on the challenge. We love you, Kat. All right. See you guys. Those guys are the best. Fuck! That ruined us. This is a landslide victory for Stephen Chang.
Starting point is 00:22:00 No, but we don't care about their fucking process. Yeah, you guys might be jerks. God damn it. We might be jerks. We might be jerks. You'd think they'd have like a, you'd click on your phone and be like, boop, checked out. Something easier. I thought it was pretty revolutionary when you can check out on your TV.
Starting point is 00:22:17 That was pretty cool. Oh. All right, so do we have to take an L? Yeah. Well, now wait a minute. I'm not sure we have to file a formal L paper yet. We're jerks. Well, Chey, moving forward, are you guys going to check out? Yeah. Well, now, wait a minute. I'm not sure we have to file a formal L paper yet. We're jerks. Well, Che, moving forward, are you guys going to check out? No.
Starting point is 00:22:30 No. Wait, I don't know if we're jerks or if Che is just extra nice. Like, we might just be We're normal. We're just normal, which is, like, Che's just going, like, Che's just a Boy Scout scout you know what i mean
Starting point is 00:22:46 like he's just we do keep asking hotel people and i still think there could be the hotel administration wants you to check out because that gets you to the desk because they're lazy and then they could upsell you something i don't know but them getting facetime with you is always good so they want you at that desk in the morning i just i don't don't remember the last time I've ever checked out, especially waiting in line to check out. That is the crazy- Well, that's psycho shit. Picture being violently hungover after a week.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Yeah. There is no way. No chance. No way. When I'm leaving somewhere, I'm not waiting in a line at that place. And I'll go one further. If I leave something in my hotel room, I'm never going to get it back. I don't even try.
Starting point is 00:23:23 No. Like a charger, toothbrush, a shirt. i don't even try no i like a charger toothbrush a shirt i don't even make a phone call i'll intentionally leave stuff just like if my if i'm already zipped up my suitcase yeah bye see ya didn't make it all right what did the poll say tj uh two-thirds now okay good so we're back to being normal i can deal with there's but i think a lot of people just didn't know why they were doing it. I don't think you were striving to assist the operation. No, he's a rule follower.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Correct. I always just thought that everyone did that. You just thought that was just required. I feel like old people, I think my parents would check out still. So what did you think happened if you didn't check out, Jay? I don't know. Arrested. Never crossed that bridge.
Starting point is 00:24:07 The Hampton police. We'll call it a draw. No. Yeah, okay. I'll draw. Will you accept the draw? It seems like more people do not physically do it, but it is courtesy to do it as a patron or resident. Okay, so draw?
Starting point is 00:24:27 Draw. I guess that's fair. Okay. When you guys are in a grocery store and you realize you don't want an item in your cart, do you just put it on a shelf? Yes. I walk it back. I walk it back.
Starting point is 00:24:35 You walk it back. I walk it back every time. Depends, actually, I should say. Because anything refrigerated, I walk it back. You have to walk it back. I absolutely walk back refrigerated. Being an employee, they want shit to do. Busy work.
Starting point is 00:24:47 They want to be able to take the yogurt back to the food. I think they see that shit and they immediately hate their life, hate everything about everybody. I would never do yogurt or milk or eggs, but a bag of chips. But if they find a box of Tide in the soup aisle. That's fun. Yeah, but that's. You work about that.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Yeah, we used to love having a little thing to do to get out of talking to people. That's two minutes that you can do something else. I think you're plenty busy in a supermarket at all times. I don't think you need an extra hassle. No, a lot of downtime. Are you guys all... This is a long side, and I know this one comes up a lot,
Starting point is 00:25:20 but you leave the cart either in the parking lot by itself, or you put it in the cart aisle? You put it in the cart. Do you take it all the way either in the parking lot by itself or you put it in the cart. I always put the cart back. Do you take it all the way back in the building? No, no. You've got to put it back. I take it back in the building.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I take it all the way back in the building. Why? Because that's just what I would want done for me. No, I used to love having to wrangle the cart. No, you're taking jobs away at that point. If everybody took it back to the building, then they can cut those jobs. The guys that go.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Yeah, there's actually that. Usually that person needs that job. Yeah. That specific person. I think it's one of the more. When you pull up and there's a guy, there's a 19-year-old kid or a 17-year-old kid, and he's got 30 carts he's pushing, that's an impressive feat. Yeah, he looks cool.
Starting point is 00:26:03 He wants that. I always put in the whatever, the corral. Yeah, the corral. Do you tip the people that would take your groceries out to the truck? I do, yeah. I would get tipped by about 50%. Also, the corral, by the way, if you don't try to hit it perfectly, then you're not – like I do it from distance.
Starting point is 00:26:21 That's what I was going to say. You're depriving yourself of one of the great things in shopping, which is the long – Yeah, the push things in shopping, which is the long. Yeah, the push. The mini carts get in the way. The mini carts get in the way. Yep. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:30 But it is satisfying when you see a corral that is perfectly mini carts on one side and big carts on the other because they get ruined so very easily. All right. So you want the other Chafax. Yes. By the way, unrelated to Chafax, I had a dream last night. Yeah. I thought about you.
Starting point is 00:26:47 You weren't in my dream. But my dream was very weird. I was in a house with a big front lawn, and Stella was in the front lawn, and then I had a cat. I don't think it was Piper Jones. That's fine. Yeah. It was a tabby, and there were two coyotes that tried to attack him. And I killed both coyotes.
Starting point is 00:27:06 No chance you're killing the coyotes. I swear to God I had this dream. I grabbed both of their jaws and I just fucking smacked them. Oh, you manually killed them. And that is a true story. That's a true story. It happened. It happened.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Two coyotes. No, that cat's dying in that scenario. It literally happened, Brandon. It happened inside your brain. Okay. Yeah. I think all of you could kill a coyote. Thank you, Kate. scenario. It literally happened, Brandon. What are you going to... It happened inside your brain. Okay. Yeah. I think all of you could kill a coyote. Thank you, Kate.
Starting point is 00:27:28 I do. Thank you, Kate. I would love to stomp one. I would love to, yeah. Little bitch. I would love to have the opportunity. Could you shoot a coyote and kill it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:35 You're not going to barehand kill a coyote, guys. Why? They're not that big. Thank you. They're dogs. Yes. You don't think you could kill a dog in a fight? A very, very small dog, I could.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Like the size of a coyote. Anything bigger than a Cocker Spaniel, I'm not sure I can kill with my beard. Coyotes are smaller than Cocker Spaniels. They're not. Where do you guys get these ideas of coyotes? They're like rats. Y'all are thinking of foxes. No.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I think I just put that to a coyote. Like a bug. I'd pet a fox. All right, Chay fact number two. I put this clip out there so you guys might have talked about it yesterday we had adam schefter on the podcast after adam schefter was done with the podcast we had another interview so che and schefter were kind of in the corner of the room and i'm pretty sure che just demanded to see schefter's nba uh fantasy team so he could grade it. Half true. Half true.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Okay. Which half? So after Shefty's interview, he was going to like – Look at that. Look at that. Very nice moment. Took some photos and then I was showing them out. Your next guest, I don't want to say who it was.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Dan Quinn. It's fine. Dan Quinn came in and he was the focus. But then Schefter was like, oh, is it okay if I just stick around and watch part of the interview? And I was like, yeah, sure, whatever. So he was in a seat, and I was working on a graphic. And then when he was leaving, he was like, oh, I'll see you later, man.
Starting point is 00:28:59 I'll see you soon or whatever. And I was like, hey, man. And one of the questions I asked was about what he likes to do, and he loves NBA or fantasy basketball. So I was like, hey, man. And one of the questions I asked was about what he likes to do. And he loves NBA or fantasy basketball. So I was like, oh, let me see your fantasy basketball team. So I was right. Everything I said was true. What was your question?
Starting point is 00:29:13 It was a long way to get to exactly what I said. I was like, oh, let me see your fantasy team. What was your question? What he likes to do? He asked Schefter what a perfect Saturday looks like for Schefter, which is like when a man you know wants to wear your skin asks you that, it's a very uncomfortable feeling. What was his answer? He gets peppered with football questions all the time.
Starting point is 00:29:39 He kind of was like, yeah, you were kind of doing the thing where you're like, I'm not going to ask the stripper where she went to school. How was your day, stripper? That's what you were trying to do. We talked football, but a lot of it was off air. All right, so Chafak number three. We were driving back. I have an incredible bladder.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Hank and Che do not. they both had to urinate in my car because i said no stop i wanted they both pissed in bottles they both both piss in bottles well only one of them pissed in a bottle hank pissed in a bottle it was this this not exact bottle uh by the way now that i'm thinking about it che did you attempt to piss in this bottle did you put your dick like in i there? Anything I attempted to piss in was empty. Okay, so, yeah, but you indirect, I indirectly kissed your penis today. Oh, no. Did you spit in that bottle?
Starting point is 00:30:34 No, but I was drinking out of the bottle, and he's like, I need a bottle, so I finished my drink, and then I handed it to him. I kissed your penis. Your saliva was on his penis. Yeah, my lips touched his penis. Oh, after the fact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if Che died right now and forensics investigated. That's true. Your saliva was on his Yeah my lips Touched his penis After the fact Yeah Yeah If Jay died right now And forensics investigated
Starting point is 00:30:49 That's true Yeah On your saliva Yeah they'd be like Did you suck him to death Oral DNA is on his chest Did you suck him to death This man was sucked
Starting point is 00:30:56 About 12 hours ago That's all we know Yeah No I Yeah I indirectly Kissed your penis Yeah You could say that The kissed your penis. Yeah, you could say that.
Starting point is 00:31:06 More your penis kissed my lips. However you want to phrase it, it's true. Because I did the first act, you did the second. But either way, Hank peed, no problem. Che tried to pee in this exact size bottle. Che's got a fucking monster cock because he couldn't have it fit. You couldn't fit your cock in this? Was he using the flip lid?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Dude, he opened it like this and he couldn't fit his cock in there. Wait, were you hard? Can't you just squish it? He had to use a coffee cup. You also don't need to put your whole cock in it. You just need to put the head in. That's what I was trying to tell him.
Starting point is 00:31:41 It didn't fit. The head didn't even fit. I said just put the head in. The. That's what I was trying to tell him, but he's like it didn't fit. Head didn't even fit. I said just put the head in. The hole. The hole didn't fit. The hole was too His hole is wider than that. It's too tight. He says it's too tight. Guy's got a monster cock. Jay. He actually
Starting point is 00:31:58 puts the hole around the rim. That's what he has. Yeah. Like a balloon. We're going, you know, 50, 60, 70 miles or whatever. Does that make your dick bigger? No, but, you know, you want to have a little bit of margin for error. And, yeah, it's a very tight squeeze. And I was a little bit worried, you know, if we hit a pothole or something, then we'd have an issue.
Starting point is 00:32:20 So you had a coffee cup in the front. I don't see why that was a... This is not a me trying to make fun of you. I didn't know that you had a hog. I had no idea you had a hog. Everything we know about you would say you don't. True, true. If I were a clone, I could DP this thing.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Yeah. Easily. I'd make it airtight with three of my cups he couldn't fit hey there's no way but you guys got a fucking monster soft soft you were too too tight for this it'd be like it'd be like that so that was a massive che win he then pissed in a coffee cup and he was saying that he was nervous about filling it too much, so it was like a five-minute piss. He would, like, piss a little, cut it off, piss a little more.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Like, Hank and I, we went through two songs, and Hank and I were like, are you jerking off? What are you doing right now? You get nervous. If you get close to filling up one of those things, there's no plan B. It was tight. What can you say jay's got a hog damn man when did you realize yeah when did you first realize you had a hog probably like an hour ago when i did that the bottle exercise yeah so that was a jay win and then the last one is very funny because I was witness to something that I'm so happy I got to see.
Starting point is 00:33:49 There is. I didn't know this existed. There's another like diehard Bucks fan who has a Bucks blog and he looks exactly like Frank the Tank and Che and he like formally finally met in at this bar we were at. And I think Jay might have Bucks beef. They didn't really like it. There's no way he respects you. They kind of weren't giving a lot of eye contact
Starting point is 00:34:13 and it was just like, I got to witness this whole thing and it was just beautiful to see. He's got a turf war with a Bucks blog. It's not a turf war. I mean, he's a nice... I've never met that guy in person. I've met his business partner. it's not a turf war I mean he's a nice I've never met that guy in person I've met his business partner it's like a two guy site it's called joebucsfan.com and they're operated by two guy Lee and Steve and I've met Steve a couple times and we have a casual
Starting point is 00:34:35 relationship say hello say how you're doing whatever and then um yeah I've never met Lee before and uh I'd seen him around I think but I didn't know who he was he who he was. He's not like a forward-facing media personality. He is kind of the Frank the Tank for the Bucs because almost instantly when I started talking to him, he was like, yeah, you know, like Barstool, like we're on the same trajectory as you guys. Then Google just like smashed us and didn't give us any ad money. I was like, what? He did say that. We got to take down the Bucs blog.
Starting point is 00:35:04 A Bucks blog Was on the same map What Barstool And then Google Came around Google fucking Google He's like I told my guy
Starting point is 00:35:11 We gotta get off Google I was like I don't know what This conversation is You don't wanna be on Google I just kind of like Made noises And was just like
Starting point is 00:35:18 Okay Does he look like Frank the Tank Well yeah Yes Yeah he kind of does Kind of does I got it
Starting point is 00:35:24 Same height Same size Like he Yeah He's Frank the Tank For the Bucks like frank the tank well yeah yes yeah he kind of does kind of does i got it same same height same size like he yeah he's frank the tank for the bucks so that was just i was just in awe i could have watched i would have loved to watch them talk for a while but they did not speak to each other they did like the the bare minimum of pleasantries and then moved on oh that's a rivalry just make it just cement the rivalry. Don't dance around it. Say you hate him. I don't dislike those guys. They provide value.
Starting point is 00:35:51 That's a big slap in the face. Afterwards, I was like, what was the deal with that? And he gave me this. And I was like, oh, okay. They provide value is the dickheadest thing to say about somebody. Who's more influential? Who has more followers? Who has better takes? Wider cock. Wider insight?
Starting point is 00:36:06 Wider cock? I mean, well, me, they do have a Hall of Fame voter on their staff. Oh. I like that you know that. I'll say this. Jason Light definitely was more friendly. The Bucks GM was also standing there witnessing this. He's more friendly with Che.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Yes. He and Che are best buds. Yeah, we're pals. Yeah, pals. But yeah, it was a good indie trip. also standing there witnessing this and he was he's he's more friendly with che yes he and che are best buds yeah we're pals yeah pals but yeah it was good indie trip that was kind of everything we're there quick wide streets in indie clean city a lot of escape rooms a lot of steakhouses a lot of escape rooms a lot of escape rooms yeah okay when i went to the dead body was played by a real person an employee oh okay they just lay there and wait the whole time? They were in an air duct. That's a great job. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Okay. So, yeah, it was a good trip. There's no complaints. We got three interviews done, rushed back. I'm trying to think, Che. Oh, it's also just great, like, Che went with us last year for the first time. He'll come with us every year now because he just like we'll go to a bar and he'll just shout out like the most random people who walk in just being like
Starting point is 00:37:11 oh there's that podcaster and it's just it's great watching che like he couldn't be happier in those moments yeah good for him yeah pft was asking me who's my one one like person to meet i'm like honestly it's probably this guy named greg cosell who's worked at none person to meet? I'm like, honestly, it's probably this guy named Greg Cosell, who's worked at NFL Films for like 43 years. And he was at the bar last night. And we were in different conversations, but I was going to go over and then got caught up in somebody else. But then we were in a conversation with another group,
Starting point is 00:37:41 and they handed me a beer that was meant for Greg Cosell. So that was kind of cool. Oh, that is really, that is huge. That's crazy. Yeah. He like Bucky Brooks walked in and Jay was like, Bucky Brooks. Holy shit. We're just going to gloss over that.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Yeah. No, he got a beer. Did you kill it? Did you save it? That's surreal. No, I drank it, but they're like, Oh, this was actually a great co-sells beer, but he went somewhere else. I was like, you had great co-sells fucking beard. It's beer, but he went somewhere else. You had Greg Cosell's fucking beer, dude?
Starting point is 00:38:06 It's a where were you when moment right there. That's insane. Che, you shut down the party last night. I went home at like 11. Che, who was there at the end of the night? A lot of my Bucs fam. No, but there was coaches and shit, right? Yeah, Antonio Pierce was there.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Nick Siriano was there. Big Dom. Big Pierce was there. Nick Siriano was there. Big Dom. Big Dom was there. A bunch of coaches and personnel people. And Stephen Che. Wait, you shut down a bar? Yeah. Or was there until close?
Starting point is 00:38:36 Until 2. 2 a.m.? Wow. Oh, yeah. Good time. And he still checked out. He still checked out. I'll be damned.
Starting point is 00:38:42 And he's got a hog of a penis. Good day for you. Yeah, I mean, the color was Che W's all around. Yeah, it's still checked out. I'll be damned. He's got a hog of a penis. Good day for you. Yeah, I mean, it kind of was Che W's all around. Yeah, it's a great day. There's one more thing that's going to be the ultimate W. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. We have a ribbon cutting. Oh, yeah. We have a ribbon and we have
Starting point is 00:38:57 giant scissors. Uh-huh. Okay. So, I think it's only fair we should spin the wheel to see who gets to cut the ribbon. This is something I've always wanted. I want to do this. I've always wanted to cut a ribbon, and I've always wanted my own sandwich somewhere. Oh, we could get the sandwich done. I want it done.
Starting point is 00:39:12 I want the right way. Yeah. Do you have your idea of what the sandwich is? You want monster cheese? No. That's what I want. Do we have the concrete? No.
Starting point is 00:39:20 No, we're going to have to do the concrete on a different day. That will be concrete day. Yeah, we'll do concrete day. Yeah. We'll do a concrete draft Yeah, we'll do concrete day. Yeah. We'll do a concrete draft. Get my costume ready. Yeah. What is that?
Starting point is 00:39:31 Isn't there like a Marvel guy who's like a... Oh, yeah, the fucking... Yeah, the guy that turns to stone. It's like the Hulk, but he's... No, that's like an X-Men. That's Celine Dion. Is that X-Men? Thing.
Starting point is 00:39:42 He's a Fantastic Four. Fantastic Four. It's Celine Dion. He's a Fantastic Four. Fantastic Four. And Celine Dion. She does have that disease. Something I did learn in this process is I was looking for a concrete truck or concrete mixer. One of these, you know, obviously thing that's making concrete on the road and can pour it. This is no different than like the day of a four-year-old. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:03 I was looking for a concrete mixer. You know, the concrete thing, you know. Che, when you get hard, does it get wider? Or is it at its state? A stream line. Yeah, are you a grower or a shower? I think you might be just a shower. Please tell me you're a shower.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Hey, you've seen his top five showers. It was pretty, the size of the pee hole was the shocking part. Yeah. The fact that Che might have the biggest dick on this show sucks so bad. We have to just find out. Yeah. I'll tap out of the competition.
Starting point is 00:40:36 I'm out as well. I'm not going vain for vain with Che. You're our last hope. I think I'll do for vein with Jay. You're our last hope. Your hand? Yeah. I think I'll do it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:49 We both get boners. We walk towards each other. Whoever touches first. It's like jousting. Whoever can knock the other one over with their boner. Yeah. Boner jousting. Boner jousting.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Fine. We'll do it. I think these popcorn people are waiting for us. Yeah, yeah. So let's spin the wheel for the ribbon. But I learned that you could just buy concrete at like a Home Depot or something like that. Yes. I don't really know how that works. That's true.
Starting point is 00:41:10 You mix it in a bucket, right? Mix it yourself. I was looking for a concrete truck. The ones that go, toot, toot. We needed the whole truck. Is this Eliminator? Oh, let's go. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Let's go, Titus. This is fitting. Perfect. God damn it. Let's go, Titus. This is fitting. Perfect. Get up there. So we have a camera set. We would need one other person I'll go to hold the ribbon. It's like a ceremony. I just was texting Greg Cassell's number, Jay.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Oh, does he know about the beer? No, someone sent it to me, but we should probably call him and apologize. Yeah. Yeah. So do we have a video? How are we going to get video of this? Oh, there we go. Wow.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Look at that big boy. Holy. Yeah. All right, Titus. Wow. Look at that big boy. Holy cow. Alright, Titus, go put it. Oh, there's already popcorn in it. Oh my god. Oh, it's beautiful. Was that the sweet? There was a side with the sweet popcorn?
Starting point is 00:42:17 There was sweet popcorn. I'm gonna eat it till I get sick. Oh, this is gonna be awesome. My kids are gonna fucking love this. Say, you got to give a speech. Speech. All right. Look at the visual.
Starting point is 00:42:33 This is the perfect encapsulation of this fucking show. With the power granted to me, I would like to officially announce the opening of the Nuts on Clark popcorn machine here at Barstool Sports. Woo! Yay! Woo-hoo!
Starting point is 00:42:58 Oh, man. Wow. What a moment. All right. Oh, I can't wait to get fresh hot popcorn. And get some popcorn. Also. Oh, this is the first bag.
Starting point is 00:43:11 The first bag. Is it going sweet or butter? Sweet. No context needed here. This is fine. This is another one of those episodes where this would be a great first episode. How did we get here? Thank them.
Starting point is 00:43:31 From all of us. We met them yesterday and they're like the sweetest people on the planet. They're very, very kind. Look at that. Bag of corn. Thank you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Oh, hell yeah. All right. Yay. That was it. And now we have a popcorn machine. There he is. Special shout out to Clifty Martino. He's the plug.
Starting point is 00:44:03 He is the plug for everything. He's the plug's plug. How plug for everything. The plug's plug. How great was that, Titus? That looked cool. Yeah, I want to do that again. Now I'm addicted. I want to cut ribbons. Can I have a little?
Starting point is 00:44:14 Can I have a little? Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the cheese and caramel mix that I love. I got some caramel. Yes. I want one of that. Look at Brandon's up there. Yeah, he'll be there a lot.
Starting point is 00:44:23 This is great. Look how cool that looks too what an area that's like perfect for a popcorn did you hear what Paige was talking about soda fountain coming oh yes we're going to have a soda fountain I should go say thank you right
Starting point is 00:44:38 definitely also that is the cutest woman I've ever seen in my entire life I love her. All right, let me go say thank you. Yeah, let's get in front of it. This is so good. You guys want to do an ad while I go? Sure, thanks.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Yes. All right, today's episode is brought to you by High Noon. The High Noon El Prez Pack is here featuring the top four High Noon Vodka Seltzer flavors as ranked by El Prez himself. These flavors include Passion Fruit, Pineapple, Pear, and an all-new flavor, Tangerine, all made with real vodka and real juice. This 12-pack is only here for a limited time, so get it while you can. Just look for the pack with Dave's face on it. You can even scan the QR code on the pack and have El Prez virtually join your party. Visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find the El Prez
Starting point is 00:45:26 pack nearest to you. How's the corn, Brando? Perfect. Which side did you get? Butter? Don't mind if I do. Yeah, I want some of that. This is huge. I bring them here all the weekend. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:45:41 Big thank you to John Clark. We can still do the show exactly how we always did but just now we have popcorn. Yeah, exactly. People are you to John Clark. We can still do the show exactly how we always did, but just now we have popcorn. Yeah, exactly. People are going to love that. Yeah, people are already like when I eat into the mic. Is it coming back? Yes, I would love some of that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Oh, God. Thank you. That's real special. That is a special thing that just happened. I know. So wait, one side's butter, one side's caramel mixed with cheddar. Yeah. I've had that.
Starting point is 00:46:03 It's amazing. Amazing combo. They said they could make us a barstool mix that we could come up with. We could make our own corn? Oh. They said they're going to come every week to make sure they clean it, and they'll different popcorn flavors depending on what we want. No way.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Yeah. What would our flavor be? What's the je ne sais quoi of the yak? It'd probably be, well, you'd have to have a mousetrap in there. Yeah, a mousetrap. In every bag. Mostly flavored for Che. Double Ritz.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Maybe a little Ritz sprinkling. Wet. It's got to be wet. Soaking. Wet popcorn. We should do a yak wet popcorn. Wet popcorn. Speaking of crackers Oh Antonio
Starting point is 00:46:48 Yeah great What a tweet It was funny What a tweet Oh meek mill Oh let's go through all of them The one was the funniest shit I've ever seen They're so incredible
Starting point is 00:47:00 Wait so I did just get Greg Cassell's number So we're gonna have Che call him Wait no let's have how can we fuck with Che yeah he's over there wait is this a wrestling mat oh my god what a day what a fucking day
Starting point is 00:47:16 we gotta have to spin the wheel to wrestle not today yeah today it's wrestling mat slash popcorn day slash Che has a now wait we also have the mincey pro day tomorrow yes and we now have a wrestling mat yes which i have an update on that we'll talk we'll do some planning at the end of the show they're also installing live player tracking data technology in the office right now for live basketball for anything we want to do on the court we can have live player tracking data. Top speeds, flight paths.
Starting point is 00:47:46 We'll need that for tomorrow. It's a big day. Holy shit. We can measure how fast Brandon ran to the popcorn machine. Oh my God. What a day. Yeah, the soda fountain is going to be fucking awesome. Yeah, I got to get out there.
Starting point is 00:48:00 They don't know what they're doing. Come on, get out there. How can I go on knowing Che has a monster dick? It was so... The moment when I was like, dude, what do you mean your dick won't fit in this oversized... It's the big mouth bottle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:18 He was like, it's just really, really tight. Really, really tight. Damn it. Oh, man, this is is gonna be awesome for Kyle is that it oh that's a little underwhelming you think? it's half and half
Starting point is 00:48:35 how do you get it attached a piece of tape came out alright so Spider will you wrestle KB for the first match? Is that the right size? This is a good enough size. Yeah, you can tell. That's like when you get a birthday gift.
Starting point is 00:48:55 No, it's perfect. Okay. Yeah, Spider, you're going to have to do it first one with KB. No herpes on it yet. Yeah, let's keep it herpes free. That'll change quick. i smell it that new matt smell yeah oh man what a day i feel so good life change so much of that I'm also canceling my diet
Starting point is 00:49:25 Dude Popcorn machine Yeah that's what I call Although popcorn's not bad No popcorn's good for you Butter's not good Butter salt Good for us
Starting point is 00:49:35 Yeah it is It's good for us It'll get us big strong Growing boys Corn is a vegetable It is Unless we forget It really is
Starting point is 00:49:42 It grows in a field So what is meek mill doing i don't even know the context you got accused of being gay so i think blaming his love for pussy juicy pussy didn't he call out puff daddy or somebody else there's a i think he's being called out by other people i think there's a isn't there a lawsuit tj he did he was accused of like sex crimes by some guy and seems pretty serious but in the sect in the allegations there's like redacted names that are like it's like philly area rapper redacted and like super bowl performer r&b singer redacted and dj academics he was talking about it on air and he was like, oh, that's Meek Mill and that's Usher.
Starting point is 00:50:26 And then Meek Mill was like, actually, I love pussy and I'm not gay. In the best manner possible. He said he ran red lights for pussy? Yeah, he ran red lights. Ask any of your favorites. Which is pretty gay. And when he's around pussy, he doesn't just bang it once. He bangs the pussy at least twice.
Starting point is 00:50:45 And he edited the tweets, so that was the final version. He also said no one offers him coke because he's heavy. I don't know what that meant. Did that mean physically heavy? I don't know. That's what I assumed. That's not a qualifier for doing coke, right? No, but I think that when you see someone who's bigger, you're like,
Starting point is 00:51:01 that guy doesn't do coke, otherwise he'd be skinnier. Or you're worried about the man's heart oh also true one love to the gay people but that juicy pussy do it for me i think pat retweeted it he was like me in eighth grade anytime somebody called me gay no no that pussy do it for me yeah when i when i got a girl around me, I'm fucking her twice a day. I like that he... LOL. It's so funny to him. Also that he kept it, you know, it's a kid's
Starting point is 00:51:32 site. Well, he also said... But he also types out pussy the first time, but not the second time. Yeah, when I got a girl around me, I'm fucking her twice a day. LOL. Ask some of your favorites. Pussy don't control me, but it's like a high. One love to the gay people with that juicy pussy. Do it for me.
Starting point is 00:51:48 I done ran red lights to get that feeling. Y'all weird on here like devil's LOL. What was the edit? What do I got to go around here? Spot the edit. Pussy don't control me. Oh, pussy don't control me and pussy don't control me and don't control me oh that's a big edit yeah sounds like pussy controls them yes because that's like i mean if you have to rush and do that tweet
Starting point is 00:52:12 yeah pussy gone that's a straight man yeah straight as fuck i'm using if i ever get pulled over for running a red light like pussy pussy. Pussy, man. Juicy pussy. Can pussy get juicy? Yeah. They've always been dry around me. Uh-oh. I don't like the idea of a tight pussy. I don't think that exists.
Starting point is 00:52:35 I've never felt a tight pussy. Never. No. These are all myths. Che. I'd ask you. Che, I have Greg Cassell's number. Do you want to call him and apologize?
Starting point is 00:52:49 Apologize for what? He left. He took his beer. Well, yeah, but maybe you should just let him know. Let him know you took his beer. You got a beer. He's not a joking type, so I don't think that's it. Yeah, that's why I sincerely let him know.
Starting point is 00:53:00 You want us to call him instead, Steve? I would assume he's at Drills right now. Well, you don't know that. Do you want to give him a call? Not particularly live on air, but I do very much enjoy his work. Why don't you text him, then? You want me to text Greg Cosell? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:18 I'm just like, hey, I got your number from a guy at the party last night. I just want to really apologize. I took your beer. Just say that. Just say exactly that. He's like an older guy. All right. Or can you say, thanks for the beer last night,
Starting point is 00:53:34 and then a real goofy emoji face is like. No, let's write this text for Steven. Like what? What should Steven say? Hey, Greg. It's me, S. You'll be like, hey, Greg. It's Steven Che.
Starting point is 00:53:54 I almost met you at the party last night, and I accidentally drank your beer. Yeah. I just wanted to apologize. Beer was damn good though LMAO true story this guy does not know what LMAO means I bet he does
Starting point is 00:54:12 come on let's see a picture of him mid 60's he's not dead alright I'll send whatever you guys would like. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Oh, he knows me. Come on. He's basically LMA-ing right there. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he signs his hair. Oh, man. You got this, Jay. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:40 This is the start of a great friendship. Hopefully. All right. We'll do it for real. So, be like, hi, Greg. This is the start of a great friendship. Hopefully. All right. We'll do it for real. So be like, hi, Greg. This is Stephen Shea. You don't know me, but I work for Barstool Sports. I got your number from someone at the party last night.
Starting point is 00:54:57 I wanted to apologize. Profusely. Profusely because I accidentally was handed your beer and I drank all of it did you drink all of it yes and I drank all of it we're going to do the wide cock here or later we'll do it later
Starting point is 00:55:13 or maybe hey this is Steven Che from Barstool Sports parenthesis wide cock guy hey wait Che put that in your Twitter name. Yeah. Parentheses, Wide Cock Guy. Come on. I do not want that to be my brand. What?
Starting point is 00:55:33 I do. TJ got it. But, Steven, you could just say you almost met him at the party last night. You got his number from someone at the party. Okay. Yep, I'm writing this right now. We got to make sure we don't eat popcorn in the microphone. White Sox Dave and Widecock Steve.
Starting point is 00:55:48 I'm hanging out. Widecock Steve. That's going to be the only rule of the popcorn because people will be, people get very upset when we eat in the microphone, which I understand. It's so hard to stop eating it, though.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Yeah. It's very good popcorn. There you go. Good job, Brandon. Steve, you should ask him to hang out sometime, too. Just be like, I like beer, you like beer. Obviously, we have similar interests. We both like football and beer.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Also, just to clarify, I'm not Joe Buck fan. Those are nervous laughters. That's not. Yeah, that's not. I think he's good. Jay, I think it would be less awkward if you just called him. Yeah, I do too.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Jay, I think this is going to work out fine. He's going to text you back. He's like, no problem, buddy. That's true. You're right. Yeah. Uh, do you, who am I saying I got his number from? Uh, someone at the party.
Starting point is 00:56:40 That's the truth. Okay. And then regret not being able to cut it up with you. Yeah. May I have this dance? Yeah. Steve, the last dance for me. Should he send a picture of himself?
Starting point is 00:56:59 Just so Greg knows who he is. Put a face to the name. Send him the no bitch assness pic of the Grand Canyon. It's my favorite Che picture. Okay, read it to us before you hit send. Yep. You don't want to do this?
Starting point is 00:57:18 No, I'll do it. I actually think he's going to text back and you're going to just be texting buddies with him. Hey Greg, this is Steven Che from Bar from Barcelona. You don't know me, but I was at the JW last night and got your number from someone at the party. I regret to not being able to chop it up with you, but I drank a beer that was intended for you. I wanted to
Starting point is 00:57:33 sincerely apologize. And maybe throw in at the beginning somewhere, huge fan. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that works. I think he's going to... And then attach that. Actually, just send that and say, are you thirsty, bitch?
Starting point is 00:57:58 Because I drank your beer. I'm so fucking hungover from that free beer. All right. Hi, Greg. This is Stephen Chay from Barcelona. I'm a huge fan. You don't know me, but I was at the JW last night. Got your number from someone at the party.
Starting point is 00:58:18 I regret not being able to chop it up with you, but I drank a beer intended for you. I sincerely apologize. All of it. Like, another sentence. I drank another beer intended for you, period. All of it. Period. Wait, can you put the intended for you. Period. All of it. Period. Wait, can you put the words of that on just on the left side of this picture? It's the perfect
Starting point is 00:58:31 meme. Yeah, make that for a meme for social. No bitch ass this. You got this, Jay. He's going to text you back. Alright, I'm going to send it. Good luck. I bought this chain. He's going to text you back. All right, I'm going to send it. Good? Good luck.
Starting point is 00:58:53 Hey, you're just stacking dubs today. Yeah, what a day. This might be a huge bill. No, that's not going to be an L. All right, it is sent. All right, love it. Or I'm not going to, yeah. Oh, shit. Let us know when he texts you back. Alright, it is sent. Alright, love it.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Let us know when he texts you back. We won't end the show until he texts you back. Did you just nervously try to cover your phone? Turn it off so you don't see. I was going to show the camera, but then I didn't save his number yet, so I didn't want to do that. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:59:23 That would have been so bad. So, so bad. Everyone would have texted him that picture. They all would have texted him that picture. 415 dudes would have texted him. That should have been like, you're a bitch. No bitch ass. Wait, does this guy have a Twitter?
Starting point is 00:59:42 Okay. Oh, there it is. All right. Jesus. Che, look at your phone. Any typing back bubbles? Come on, Che. It says delivered. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Are drills happening right now? I think today was D-line. I'm not sure right now. I figured you'd just know that off the top of your head. Yeah, today was D-line. Were the athletes there when you were there? Yeah, I mean, we didn't see any of the combine guys because they were getting ready for a make-or-break moment.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Super nervous. Yeah, in their life. It's like, if they fuck up here, it's going to cost them millions of dollars. Oh, yeah. It's so consequential. Yeah. It really matters that much? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:39 He's like, quick. I mean, it doesn't. It's not. If you're like an incredible player, it doesn't matter that much. But for like the mid-round guys, it definitely – Oh, it's a good way to like stand out. Yeah. It's not like you won't – if you do really bad, you won't get drafted.
Starting point is 01:00:54 But if you do really great, you could make – Uh-huh. Like the first round. Yeah, especially if you're a mid-round guy. You can move up or down a round, no problem. Yeah. I met Ross Dellinger last night. Mississippi State guy.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Yeah, good dude. Yeah. I've actually never met Ross Dellinger. Oh, really? Yeah. Wait, are all these things in the corners of the gym, the new tech? Like all those look like... Yeah, there's a bunch of network boxes that they have to install around the gym.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Oh, sure. Oh, wow, there's a lot of them. Wait, I don't see them. Are those white things on top of the walls? Once they do, there's like 20... Oh, yeah, there's a lot of them. Wait, I don't see them. Are those white things on top of the walls? Once they do, there's like 20 things that are maybe the size of a Tic Tac box that each person can wear an individual one. So if we played five-on-five basketball, we could have everybody on the court with a different thing on
Starting point is 01:01:38 and track each person's movement as its own stat sheet. That would be cool for the gauntlet. I could bring it up on the screen as like an on-screen overlay and stuff it's super cool wait so is this going to be set up for mincy tomorrow i think that that was kind of the intention oh my god to try and get that ready to debut under mincy all right so let's talk mincy pro day tomorrow this will be a big day all right i have some graphics that i want to get done uh tj so i think i texted the group i was thinking about it i think it would get kind of boring if it was just mincy doing drills and there's no competitive action so my idea was it's
Starting point is 01:02:15 a mincy versus mahomes pro day and we make mincy do the drill as mincy then put on the mahomes jersey and do the drill as mahomes and then we can keep the leaderboard as the day goes along who's winning mincy or mahome i like that mincy versus mahomes one of the greatest matchups of all time yeah um so with that said though i think we need to make sure that none of the none of the drills he's doing are like super super long i also think we should just he should have to do the 35 yard dash he should have to do the bench press he should have to do the three cone yeah and the qb challenge so we'll have those like set as standard he'll do those um so we're just throwing
Starting point is 01:02:58 out ideas yeah i'd like to put him in a duck duck goose situation and i love that he's able to get up to his feet and chase the person down. I'm giving him a mental test, but very simple. Okay. I like to duck-duck-goose, so we'll play duck-duck-goose with him. Oh, what about musical chairs?
Starting point is 01:03:14 Could do that. That's cognitive ability, right? Or that's reaction time? That's reaction time. Yeah, we could do that. But we should do it to a widespread panic song so he gets distracted. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Someone said he should run a mile inside the circle. Yeah, that's good. Which I was a great idea, but it would take a very long time. I think what we'll do instead is maybe have him do like suicides inside the circle like 10 times for time. And my idea was that Mincy and Mahomes will switch back who goes first because you would think maybe he would get tired so the second person would always be at a disadvantage. So, like, Mincy will run the 35-yard dash, then Mahomes will run it.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Then Mahomes will do the bench press, then Mincy will do the bench press. Yes. That's good. Is this mat big enough for a very small tumbling routine? Oh. I wouldn't hate it. hate it something that we could judge i would love some double dutch yeah i want them to make pancakes i want the oh a table with the ingredients you need for pancakes but other decoy ingredients to see if you can successfully i love
Starting point is 01:04:17 that all right so we got to really plan this after the act we have to like because we got to get all the cameras set up this is going to be great. Mitzi versus Mahomes. His wonder lick can be karaoke. Yes. That's a wonder lick, yeah. That's going to be, yeah, he was in. Well, can I just throw this out?
Starting point is 01:04:41 If it's a Mitzi versus Mahomes format, right, that just means we're going to watch him do every drill twice. That's what I was saying. Keep the drills shorter. No, it wouldn't be him. It would be Mahomes. Yes, Mahomes. So we're going to watch him make a pancake,
Starting point is 01:04:53 and then we're going to watch him make a pancake? No, no, no. You're not. No, we're going to. What you don't understand is Mincy's going to do it, and then Patrick Mahomes is going to do it. Right. So it's not mincy we can
Starting point is 01:05:06 afterwards we can put a blindfold on spin him around so he recalibrates his all right well we could also do the other idea was that we could do an entire the entire circuit as mincy and then he'll do the first so you don't go back to back on any of the drills i like that okay so then that's what we'll do. Okay. So Mincy will do it all. We'll have a baseline and then Mahomes will try to beat Mincy. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:31 Cause then there's a competitive action. And then maybe we, we gotta, but the problem is, is he smart enough? I hope Mahomes doesn't throw the events. Right. If he's smart enough to throw an event so that. So he loses to Mahomes. I mean, he was smart enough to act like he didn't do last week on purpose, and we found out today that maybe that –
Starting point is 01:05:48 Yeah, no, he definitely did. That wasn't a great unnamed show for him. Him saying – Oh, yeah, what was his appearance? I saw the – He got caught on a hot mic at the poker tournament talking about the combine. Saying exactly what he – Did you see it, Titus?
Starting point is 01:06:03 Yeah, I did. Wait, can I see that clip? Very incriminating. And then Mincy thought he had a big moment where he was like, Dave, I'm going to donate $1,000. After saying he won $14,000. Not the best. Oh, maybe we'll have him.
Starting point is 01:06:20 How many times to flip a bottle? That's pretty good. Yeah. What is this? Oh, boy, right now. Not a spot where Dylan wants to be. Totally correct, Brian. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Oh, I knew it. I knew it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. But I knew this. I've it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. But I knew this. I've seen it. That's brutal.
Starting point is 01:06:49 I didn't see that clip. I didn't see that clip. That was like a Robert Durst. I killed him. You can't even see it. It's like super sponsored. It's super, super sponsored. Oh, no, man.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Just can't help himself. The show is a gesture of goodwill. And because I love what Dave's doing with his speeches, donating a thousand of money to your Lifeline charity. I have a pocket. You won 14. That's 114th of your paycheck. Get him off.
Starting point is 01:07:32 No, no, no. Bring him back disgusting i think he thought that was gonna be the hammer look at kirk it's hard to make kirk laugh that hard at least half that was i've thought about it deeply. I give one 14th. This is why he'll never be fixed. You don't think that was going to be the hammer. You're like the top. Oh, man. Mincy versus hot mics. It's the rivalry that haircut looks good.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Amazing haircut. Yeah, it looks good, though. Amazing hair cut. Yeah, it looks good. I was called out on this show, too, for being an enabler. 100% I am. Yeah. Without a doubt, you can't refute. This is a lot of fun for you. I am as much of an enabler as possible.
Starting point is 01:08:16 My idea about backing him is if he's going to be fucking up, the content will be better if I'm the one who's getting killed by him fucking up. Like him me backing him yeah adds another layer to the story that just you just know he's gonna make a mistake how soon instant next time he does something go i think you go a little bit i think he i'm gonna say he's got a clean month ahead of him. If he does nothing. But I am in it. Okay. Well, he has the Chicago Poker Tournament, and isn't he going to –
Starting point is 01:08:50 he said he's going to the SEC. Yeah, I think he's going south for a little bit. The SEC Basketball Tournament. Yeah. I think he's going down there. I was like, who'd you mute? Wake Up Mincy. Oh.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Oh. Wake Up Mincy is back next week right yes that maybe then yeah but it really i mean brandon you you kind of nailed it from the beginning like this as bad as it was this is what mincey this is the content he produces yeah yeah he produces the storylines that feed an entire week of Yeah He starts a small fire and we warm ourselves For like a week That he provides Yeah
Starting point is 01:09:33 God bless him I want to just get a red button in here And see how long it takes for him to just maybe sit on it Or something Press it Press the button So yeah well how many events should we have tomorrow i think all of us bring one okay yeah yeah we gotta we gotta plan this after because we gotta
Starting point is 01:09:52 tj's gotta be ready so we have some type of i have my supplies you do just what are they i don't want to say because i want to prep i'll bring mine i'm just doing the duck duck goose thing i think i like that's good yeah quickly yeah What are they? I don't want to say because I don't want them to prep. I'll bring mine. I'm just doing the Duck Duck Goose thing, I think. I like that. That's good. See how quickly he... Yeah. But that involves other people.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Yeah, but he's always going to be the goose. Yeah. Oh, he got a haircut today. He does look good. It does look good. I don't know. I mean, he goes from a Southern Dullard's haircut to that. Like, who's he trying to be?
Starting point is 01:10:23 What's he trying to do? Like, just... I don't know. You can't stop being an oaf if you just get a good haircut. No, you don't stop who you are. You don't stop being a fucking idiot from the south just because you get a fucking haircut. He needs Big Cat's car. I'll give it to him. I'm an enabler.
Starting point is 01:10:43 It's what I do. It would be funny if you bought the house next door to Brandon's and gave it to Mintz. Oh my God. Now that's an idea. Oh, that would be the best. I would hear him coming home every day. Oh yeah. You would hear him pull in.
Starting point is 01:11:03 I want to see that clip. Play that again. what a clip to me it's and the first one's funny and that one got like millions of views the second one second one he did it again because he had already made the mistake simply hours earlier and he came in just as hard just as straight he's the best oh there goes what who's that it was lucas oh lucas lucas it was an absolute nightmare everybody in the office surrounded him and pointed and laughed at him. Wait, I missed this. Yeah, this is bad. 1145, he shows up. We have lunch. What are you doing, Lucas?
Starting point is 01:11:52 Now he doesn't know where to park. Is he leaving? He's leaving. You can just park in the driveway, asshole. Hey! Where's he going? Is there a fire hydrant over there? No, it was over here to the right. What is he doing? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:12:08 He was going to park over there. I got food in there waiting. Hey, boy, don't get out. Come park it in the driveway. Son of a bitch. Oh, no. Oh, no. All right.
Starting point is 01:12:24 Well, he already has it broken, huh? Then you got to play the last one. The next one. Sorry, I'm 15 minutes late. Didn't acknowledge that he hit your driveway at all, even though it was glaring. Second one, though. We're all thinking the same thing. Oh, no. He's arrived. Let's see if he does again driveway at all, even though it was glaring. Second one, though, we're all thinking the same thing. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:12:45 I'm going to do it again. He's arrived. Let's see if he does it again. Is he easing into it? Oh, my. All you have to do is come in at an angle. Come in at an angle. He doesn't even know he did it.
Starting point is 01:13:02 What noise was that? A tub of Chico? Oh, my God. Hey, Lucas. Brandon tried to send Lucas home today. What happened? His pants are too tight. His pants are too tight.
Starting point is 01:13:14 And the whole office surrounded him and pointed and laughed. Come here, Lucas. Come here, Lucas. Get in here, Lucas. Oh, shit. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God, dude. What is that ass?
Starting point is 01:13:27 What? You're fucking... Dumpy, I don't know. How did you get in those? No one else could get in those. No, probably not, but yeah. This made me feel like I'm wearing Jankos right now. Yeah. Suddenly.
Starting point is 01:13:40 It was nightmare fuel earlier. Is this the first time you've worn those to the office? No, no. You've worn those before? Yeah. And we let you get away with it? Yeah, probably like two months. Has Jerry seen you?
Starting point is 01:13:50 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I took Jerry to him. And what did Jerry say? It was disappointed. Yeah, he doesn't love my fashion choices. How fast could you take those on and take them off and put them on again? I mean, it wouldn't be that hard. Stand up again. I mean, it wouldn't be that hard. Stand up again.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Turn around. Yeah, turn around. I can read your text messages on your phone. Dude, those are so tight. They are tight. They are. They are, yeah. They sure are.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Are they comfortable to you? Are they? I wouldn't say they're uncomfortable. Okay. That's not what you want to say about pants. Go ahead. When I moved here, I owned two pairs of pants. And I just bought these like a month after I got here.
Starting point is 01:14:37 And I was like, oh, Lululemon pants, so nice. And they didn't really have my size. I was like, but I need pants. Oh, those women's pants? No. No. Are you sure? Yes. They might be. Positive. and they didn't really have my size. I was like, but I need pants. Oh, those women's pants? No, no. I, are you sure?
Starting point is 01:14:48 Yes. It might be. Yeah. Positive. I think those are women's pants. They're not women's pants. I promise. Those have a non-zero chance of being women's. But you got Lululemon pants that didn't have your size.
Starting point is 01:14:58 So you went to the women's section and they had your size. No, no, no. What do you mean your size? Like your waist? Yeah. Yeah. No, they. Did you find your size across the store?
Starting point is 01:15:05 What size is your waist? 29. Okay. These are 28 but I do have another pair of these that are 29 and they're not as tight. Well that makes sense. I think he's wearing a bigger size. That was my pre-baby size. 28s. I miss being a baby.
Starting point is 01:15:22 Stand up again Lucas? Kate would ruin her back. And then today he walked in the movie. Try to get in them. Yeah. Stand up again, Lucas. Kate would ruin her back. Yeah, do you? And then today, everybody, he walked in the office and everybody just followed him like he was the Pied Piper. And everybody was just coming out of rooms. It was like a nightmare. It brought the whole office together.
Starting point is 01:15:37 Oh, my God. It was great. Yeah, the security footage, like, people are just coming out of nowhere. Can we see it? People are just piling out of rooms. We got to get the security. People are, like, z zip lining down from the upper. Yeah, it was the most people I've ever seen.
Starting point is 01:15:48 I need to see the security footage. But today's the first day ever people notice because you said you've worn them here before. Yeah. 29s? Yeah. No, these are the 28s. The 29s are khaki color. Can we get you some pants?
Starting point is 01:16:01 Let's get you some Roback pants. Some joggers? I mean, that would be nice. Yeah. Roback is a lot more comfortable than what you're wearing. Probably. Probably. That's a fact.
Starting point is 01:16:10 They are kind of tight. But yeah, I only have like five pairs of pants. Okay. Well, we'll get you some Roback joggers. 20% off. Use code YAK. They are the most comfortable joggers. It's a fact.
Starting point is 01:16:20 Also, you can't come back in here looking like this. Brandon tried to send him home. You were right there with me. I want to see this video, this security footage. Every room had people coming out of it. It was like a scene from a zombie film. Do we have a TJ? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:16:34 I haven't seen this. Where did you see the security? Chris and I pulled it up. Can you go get it for us? Yeah. Also, you guys just quit streams now? I mean, I haven't quit. Oh, we quit streams?
Starting point is 01:16:47 No. Streams. No, that one. What's this? I missed all of it because I went to Indie. Is Jerry a quitter? He's getting dubbed a quitter? No.
Starting point is 01:16:57 Shameful. It's not quitting. Like, we streamed for five hours, which is like. But you guys know that you could easily avoid this by saying we have a time that Sketch has to go to the airport. Yeah, I think we did say. We might not have been super clear about it, but we did mention that.
Starting point is 01:17:15 But then everyone was like, oh, you're just using Sketch as the fall guy so you could quit. You could have pushed his flight back. The dude has a life. He doesn't work for us. He can't just... Yeah, you should have just said instead of if you knew someone had to leave you should have been like we're just gonna stream for five hours i think yeah they wanted to well we weren't going
Starting point is 01:17:33 to be like oh well that was our issue with the bowling one where we were like oh jerry can't stream 24 hours because he's got a flight to catch in the morning and we said oh we'll stream four hours then if he doesn't get it we'll stream eight hours blah blah next time and when we got the when he got the 300 people were still like pissed because we had a time limit on it anyway yeah people are gonna be pissed no matter what oh yeah that's a fact and i told jerry that but the problem is you if you have someone who has a flight, you should just say that beforehand and be like this isn't what everyone expects. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if we explicitly
Starting point is 01:18:10 had very clearly said that. Also, they played five hours. No, I know. Listen, I'm not saying... You can't quit, Jared, your dark streams. It's not the fact that five hours is a great stream. I'm saying you just have to tell the audience exactly the situation before you start.
Starting point is 01:18:26 Otherwise, they will be very upset, which I understand. Yeah. No, five hours is a lot. You don't understand? No, I actually don't understand. I think Jerry's audience needs to sack the fuck up and realize that sometimes somebody has to go to the airport. I know. I know.
Starting point is 01:18:41 Yeah, that's what I think. I agree. They should have just said we're streaming Madden for five hours. I think they did, though. I think they said they started saying. They said they were planning to get four. We didn't want to put a time limit on it because we wanted there to be, like, if you just say you're streaming Madden for five hours,
Starting point is 01:18:58 and it's like, why keep watching if we had the little challenge. But then the opposite side, they're going to be like, we got duped. But you could frame it as a race against the clock. We have five hours. We are going to try to win the Super Bowl in five hours. And I know you quitting isn't in your genes. Not enough space. Not nearly enough.
Starting point is 01:19:18 I just think you have to just tell the audience beforehand. That's all. Yeah, I just, yeah. If you explain it to them, they'll be mad anyway, just yeah if you explain it to them they'll be mad anyway but at least you explain it to them then they can't be mad for being they can't say you quit a stream if you tell them exactly what's gonna happen yeah we just like it just like feels like we can't please no that's it will always be the case yeah but you can plug a couple holes where you don't leave yourself open yeah that's that's a good point. Yeah, that he came all this way feels like a little waste.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Doesn't it? Yeah. All right, go find that security. Oh, here we go. Oh, you're the first one out there now. Like I'm lost to a flame. All right, where is he? Is it earlier?
Starting point is 01:20:03 No, I think he'll come in and then we'll all follow him. I thought that was him. Okay. Did you pull all the security footage? There's Trey. Yep. Oh, there's Trey.
Starting point is 01:20:21 Oh my goodness. Oh, we're. There we go. Oh, we're mean, dude. Everybody's coming out of every room. That's incredible. Can we make him stand up oh no that's so perfect nightmare
Starting point is 01:20:53 oh man there's a phone clip too with all the audio Cody's recording there and it's like I explained it to Nick I was like it's like those dreams you have when you're naked. You're like in a mall or something. Everyone's like staring, laughing at you.
Starting point is 01:21:12 And that was just me in real life. Everyone's just staring, laughing at me because of my pants. Now people are coming specifically just to see the pants. Let's see the pants. Incredible. Oh, man. Well, thank you, Lucas.
Starting point is 01:21:31 Yeah, yeah. It was fun, Lucas. Yeah. Oh, my. Walk slow. Walk slow. My goodness. He can't.
Starting point is 01:21:36 He's too aerodynamic to walk slow. He cannot. Look at those things. They're so tight. How do you... You have to know when you're walking out of your house that these are way too tight. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:21:57 They're so tight. Oh, my God. Oh. You can't wear those pants here. I can do whatever I want. Look at these pants. You can't wear those pants here I can do whatever I want What happened? Look at your pants You gotta get out of here
Starting point is 01:22:11 Oh my word You tried to pounce Get the fuck out of here You gotta go Go home Go home You can't make me go home. You see these pants? Paige comes in and goes, this is an HR violation.
Starting point is 01:22:39 I thought she was talking about all of us bullying him. That's like how to report your pants. Holy shit. Oh, my eyes. Is he shopping? Oh, no. Holy shit, Lucas. I mean, he had to know.
Starting point is 01:22:59 He's not going to be able to swing a golf club in those pants. They just split and shoot off. Oh, hey, look out split and shoot off. Oh, wait, look. There he goes. They're so skinny. Can we cut to other cameras? Oh, my gosh. They're so small. You've got to find them.
Starting point is 01:23:15 I just want to watch them. Yeah, it's fine. Follow those pants. After those pants. Step on it. Keep an eye on the pants it's like it's like a police chase get in a cab to chase a chick to the airport get the helicopter view we need flo solely's drone just go over his head the whole time everywhere he goes. That's crazy that he can't... You can't come here. Everyone knows when they put on a pair of pants
Starting point is 01:23:51 or a sweatshirt that's way too tight. Immediately take it off. The pants you know immediately. Like a sweatshirt you might get to work with. Oh, this is a little... I don't like this. He thought he could get away with that. What a slap in the face to us.
Starting point is 01:24:04 Yeah, that kind of is fucked up. The bullying culture we built here. You thought he could get away with that. What a slap in the face to us. Yeah, that kind of is fucked up. The culture that we, the bullying culture we built here. You thought you could get away with that? This place means something. You don't just get to do that. Not a chance. Oh, fuck. I don't want to see him again, though.
Starting point is 01:24:22 I do, too. We got to find him. J.D. Cassell Text you back? Oh yeah No I think you gotta follow up now Just be like Hey man
Starting point is 01:24:37 Yeah Sorry if that text Was too forward Might have been out of bounds Didn't mean anything by it And then if he doesn't answer this one You call him bitch Fine
Starting point is 01:24:48 Yeah Turn on him Like you think you can treat people like this Yeah It's been 26 minutes I'm sure he's I'm sure he's like Talking to people before drills start
Starting point is 01:25:04 Yeah no he's definitely Yeah yeah yeah No no he's He totally Yeah he's like talking to people before drills start. Yeah, no, he's definitely. No, no, he's totally. Yeah, he's busy. Yeah, he's working. He's not with someone else. As soon as he can, he's going to text you back. Yeah. If you want Lucas on camera more,
Starting point is 01:25:17 should we make him run the gauntlet with those pants on? Oh, yes. Thank you, TJ. Yes, TJ. Get it set up. Get it set up. Oh, he's on the wet wheel now. Oh, TJ. Get it set up. Get it set up. Oh, he's on the wet wheel now.
Starting point is 01:25:28 Yeah, he is. But yeah, let's have him run the gauntlet. Do you want to play goalie, Malasek? I can play goalie. He's on the towel whip wheel. Oh my God. This is going to be a great gauntlet. Where are those pants? Where are those pants? Somebody find pants somebody find me those pants you can move that che uh we should actually we should all wear those pants and try to do the
Starting point is 01:25:56 gauntlet yeah yeah that's the new part i don't know it would be a tight fit for che oh yeah jay's hammer cock. I don't know if I think differently about him now. Like, it's just crazy. I just, we shit on him and he takes it and now I know why. Right, that explains why he says then all the time. In his head, he's like, I got a bigger cock than all of them. All these guys combined. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:19 Combined. Might. He might. By the way, the rent app. Today, we've got something truly special for all the renters and landlords out there paying rent it's something we all have to do and let's be honest it can sometimes be a bit of a hassle but what if there was a way to make it all easier more straightforward and even beneficial for your financial future introducing rent app the ultimate
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Starting point is 01:27:29 We got to pick when we want to do our regional. Okay. Okay. So if we do it with Heinen again, we could do it like May or June. Great. And we should have everyone in the office compete. That would be fun. That would be awesome. Will we look for a house? Yeah, we'll have to in the office compete. That would be fun. That would be awesome.
Starting point is 01:27:45 Will we look for a house? Yeah, we'll have to find a house. That should be easier than the same. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. Take the Jankos off. It's long johns. You're wearing long johns
Starting point is 01:28:06 Yeah TJ we'll be able to find a house Whoever and by the way Whoever can give us the best house Where can they send submissions TJ My twitter DMs Okay so send submissions to TJ Obviously it's gotta be Chicago land Less than 30, 45 minutes.
Starting point is 01:28:26 And whoever submits the house gets an automatic entry into the regional qualifier. If you're considering sending a house. Yeah, we have to pick your house for you to be in. You have to have a good roof with something that we could use as an object sticking off of it. Correct. Not on the edge of the roof. Correct. We have to be able to throw around a chimney and have a ball come back down on the other
Starting point is 01:28:49 side. Your chimney is all the way to the end. Don't even bother submitting. Yes. No fake pipes. No Photoshop pipes. Don't just glue a pipe on. No double-decker pipes.
Starting point is 01:28:57 It needs to be a single level over a garage. I need you guys to look at Lucas. And if your house is picked, you'll be entered. That's Sid from Hey Arnold's Pay. Going down to the white booties. Oh my god. You can, I know, it's HR, but you can really see. You can see the outline of his ass you can see his entire ass
Starting point is 01:29:28 this is his punishment for thinking that he could get away with this. Who's got my count? Huh? Sporkle ready, TJ? Are we on a delay just in case they do split into like one million pieces? They'll shatter? This would be the greatest redemption story ever, though, if he crushes everyone
Starting point is 01:29:59 and crushes it, then we are... No, it would still be a pants storyline. Oh, yes. Are we good, TJ? Yes. All right, Lucas, you ready? Yep. Three, two, one, go.
Starting point is 01:30:17 Ooh, a little bend. Oh, it's a wrap. Oh, it's a wrap. Keep bending down to get them. There he goes. Ooh, ooh. Squeak, squeak, wrap. Keep bending down to get them. There he goes. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. That did not go in.
Starting point is 01:30:37 There you got him. Baseball. Look at him. Oh, the TV, little Aang. Hey, did you see his pants? He a goalie's heart, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. The friction has to be unbearable.
Starting point is 01:31:09 Oh my god. There we go. He's got to be rubbing his dick down to just like a bump. Yep. Yeah, he's doing pretty good, though. He's doing well. Oh, my God. Oh, Lucas. Ooh, he's good.
Starting point is 01:31:38 He's good. Great. There he comes. Come on, Lucas. 137. Okay. 17 NFL teams with one letter in their logo. Oh, man. Not even out of breath.
Starting point is 01:32:05 No, I am. Oh, yeah. Not even out of breath. No, I am. Oh, yeah. Lies, Apple, Pumpkin. Eight schools with more than two NCAA basketball championships. Duke. There you go. UConn. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:15 Villanova. Yeah. Kansas. Yeah. Kentucky. Oh, he's crushing. Oh, he's crushing. One letter or not.
Starting point is 01:32:26 Three more. Y. Letter Y. No. Dylan and Cole. You know seven NFL teams with one letter in their logo? Oh, man. Just a letter in their logo.
Starting point is 01:32:42 Wait, is that ten? He needs one more. One more. One more. Pie flavor. oh man there's a letter on their logo wait is that 10 he needs one more one more pie flavor the team here team here um what
Starting point is 01:32:55 oh the fuck Tim Burton time there we go pretty good nice what are the other eight schools
Starting point is 01:33:03 hold on don't hit it TJ what you know Michigan State nope There we go. Pretty good. Nice. What are the other eight schools? Hold on. Don't hit it, TJ. What? You know them. Michigan State. Nope. North Carolina. Michigan State, yes.
Starting point is 01:33:11 Let's just say yes. They don't have more than two. Oh, they have two. It's more than two? How many does Louisville have? Nope. Two. UCLA.
Starting point is 01:33:25 Indiana. Indiana. Louisville has three, actually. Oh, yeah, you're right. Oh, yeah, I was thinking two. How do you not have the top? Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 01:33:32 Seven NFL teams, one letter in the logo, Bears. Uh-huh. Packers. Yeah. Commanders, does that count? Yeah, Washington. Does Falcons count? The bird looks like an F.
Starting point is 01:33:45 Yeah. Do the Texans know? That one's like sneaky hard. Bengals? Yeah. The Broncos old school one with the D and the horse. Huh. Huh.
Starting point is 01:34:08 Huh. Huh. and the horse huh huh huh huh huh this is huh huh do the chart the letter is Q I think
Starting point is 01:34:17 Rams? Titans Q Titans yes the Rams new one is just LA right? well that's two letters two letters yeah
Starting point is 01:34:24 what is the... Is there one with an S? Travis Barker. And then Mark Hoppus. Mark Hoppus. Five territories with permanent non-military properties. Yes. This is going to bother me.
Starting point is 01:34:51 Horseshoes, clovers, and balloons. Art star rainbows, clovers. Clovers and blue moons. Pots of gold and rainbows and big red balloons. Pots of gold. Red balloons. Red balloons. What's this last logo? Browns?
Starting point is 01:35:05 Yeah, it's driving me crazy. No. Are they going to count the Eagles E? Isn't the Phillies a P? Colts? No, Colts have a horseshoe. Horseshoes. Horseshoes.
Starting point is 01:35:21 Wait, horseshoes are multiple answers here? Yeah. Lucky charms. What is it? We've got to get this. All right, all right, all right. Let's go through the teams. Division by division. All right.
Starting point is 01:35:38 NFC South. Saints, Falcons, Bucs, Panthers. Nope. Okay. NFC North. Vikings, Lions, Packers, Bears. Vikings. No, right? No. No, it's a guy. Did you have one with a V?
Starting point is 01:35:52 NFC East. Eagles, Cowboys, Commanders, Giants. Is it Giants? Giants is NY, right? NY, right? Alright. NFC West. Cardinals, Seahawks, Niners. Rams. Rams. No. AFC South. Colts, Jags, Titans.
Starting point is 01:36:08 Is it Titans? We have Titans. We have Titans. Titans, Texans. No. AFC East, Dolphins, Bills, Jets. Oh, Ravens. Is that a B?
Starting point is 01:36:19 Yeah, a B. Yeah, Ravens is a B. Great. Okay, that's all. That would have bothered me. Okay. Yeah. I feel good about that. Cherry. That would have bothered me. Okay. Yeah. Feel good about that. Cherry? That was a good time, Lucas.
Starting point is 01:36:30 We should just finish this off. What are the characters? Director of Rocky. Rocky Balboa? I don't know. Was it Stallone? Did he direct that? What is the territory? Five U.S. territories with permanent non-military population. Guam. Puerto Rico. Guam.
Starting point is 01:36:45 Virgin Islands. Guam. Puerto Rico. Guam. Yeah. Virgin Islands. Samoa. American Samoa. Northern Mariana. Scott. The Russos. Why did he not do that?
Starting point is 01:37:00 Did Cameron do aliens? Clint Eastwood. Uh-huh. Did Cameron do Aliens? Clint Eastwood. Lady Bird was the same who did Barbie. Redditor Wig. Don't worry, Darling was Olivia Wilde. Are you gay? I'm all for women directors. Great movie.
Starting point is 01:37:21 The Breakfast Club is the guy who did all the movies from Chicago. John Hughes. The pants are still the guy who did all the movies from Chicago. John Hughes. Yeah. The pants are still here. Pants are still here. All right, see you. You want to leave? Sisterhood of the-
Starting point is 01:37:33 Bring them back. Blistered Wood of the Traveler. I don't want your pants. Blistered Wood. Fast Five is... Is that Vin Diesel? Was he the director? Eastern Bluebird.
Starting point is 01:37:53 It's got to be a cardinal for like half a year. Well, yeah. I think Illinois is a cardinal. Oh, Mississippi is the mockingbird. Very sassy bird. Too cardinal. Okay. I might have been lying about the mockingbird. Two cardinal. Okay. I might have been lying about the mockingbird.
Starting point is 01:38:08 There we go. Really thought it was the mockingbird. What's the last marshmallow? Sparrow? Do a sparrow. Heart star. See a sparrow. Horseshoe clover, blue moon.
Starting point is 01:38:20 No. Maybe a grouse. Rainbow? Massachusetts gets off grouse or turkey vibes. How is it not gold? It's fucking gold. Alright, just give up. It's a unicorn now. The wood duck? Oh, you were pretty close with
Starting point is 01:38:39 wild turkey there. Wood duck. They changed the gold to a unicorn? Yeah. Who could forget Justin Lin? Why is Wisconsin's a mourning dove? And American Robin. They have two. They have two.
Starting point is 01:38:54 Should we just rip another snorkel? Make sure you put pants. Yeah. Oh, so Lucas is consistent with his time. What was the asterisk for his first time? I want to say there was also a different goalie that day. Maybe McCarthy was in goal.
Starting point is 01:39:12 Yeah, I mean, there's no one who can be like Malasek. Like, I was just. Wait, the asterisk for Lucas is just Lucas? It said Lucas. Question mark. Okay, good note keeping. There he goes. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:39:39 Somebody DM me that one of the events tomorrow should be Mints putting on those pants. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right, so do you guys like the Mincey versus Mahomes? Because I want there to be some type of like, otherwise we're just watching him do it, right? I think that is the fun, though, right? Could we do something to him to change? Should Mahomes go first?
Starting point is 01:39:59 To change his. Mahomes could go first. Mahomes goes first to set the bar, and then Mincey tries to beat it. Because I am worried about when he goes through the second time. I have a concern that the Mahomes you guys are talking about is Mincy. No, he still doesn't get it. Yeah, you don't get it.
Starting point is 01:40:16 TJ, what do you think? I don't get it. What do you mean you don't get it? I don't really get the... We're going to make him do it twice. Right, but it's Mahomes. And then whoever wins gets... We have to figure that out. There has to be stakes.
Starting point is 01:40:31 What if you have him go against the field, and if he gets the lowest score in any group, then he gets a punishment wheel based on that. Oh, what if Mincy's going, and we pick someone here has to go against him for each event? Because it's Mincy's pro day. Right.
Starting point is 01:40:51 But you need a, I feel like there has to be some type of competitive thing that's going No. Why are we here? Because the company came together and did a combine the other day. But let me ask you a question. When we, when Mincy just runs a 35 yard dash and he gets four and a half seconds, then what? What does that mean? What do we do with that information?
Starting point is 01:41:13 I thought the fun was going to be in creating the event. I agree. Should we set an over-under on times? If he goes over, he has to stay an extra hour at work or come in an extra hour. Or we could set an over-under on times and things, and he has to complete it until he can work or come in an extra hour. Or we could set it over under on times and things, and he has to complete it until he can move on to the next one. Yeah, yeah. There has to be some sort of punishment.
Starting point is 01:41:32 Or have him do a first trial run but make him believe it's the only run, and then the next run he can't move on until he beats his first time. Yep. It's Mincy versus Mincy, and he has to beat his first run. Or will he throw that? That's what I'm saying. We have to make him think it's only one run. Or we could do, like I said, where it's like we just or we have regular, anyone in the office
Starting point is 01:41:54 could compete against him in a single event and he has to win a certain amount of events. Oh, he has to challenge a specific someone he thinks he can beat. And he has to win a certain amount of events that day. I love that idea, Kyle. He gets to pick anyone in the office. Here's the event. He can thinks he can beat. And he has to win a certain amount of events that day. I love that idea, Kyle. Yeah. He gets to pick anyone in the office.
Starting point is 01:42:07 Here's the event. You can't pick anyone twice. Yeah. You can pick anybody you want to go up against. I like that. Okay. Who do you think you can beat at this? Yes.
Starting point is 01:42:16 So we're going to see all the women in the office tomorrow. Oh, very cool. Yeah. I like that. And then so we'll come up with the amount of events, and he has to win a certain amount. Yeah. Or else he has to keep going.
Starting point is 01:42:27 He has to win more than half. Yeah. He gets to pick anyone. Oh, I like this. Tomorrow's the first of the month. So my karaoke idea. My favorite text I've ever gotten was that day from Big Cat to the Yak. Brace yourself, boys.
Starting point is 01:42:54 Said the N-word. Oh, what a day. I woke up to that and it was... Oh, what a wake up. Someone said Mincy versus Kyle in every event for Wake wake up mincy the rights to wake up mincy oh kyle would you would you compete for ip do you have mincy on as a guest do i have him on would you have him on as a guest for wake up mincy if you if you won the ip to wake up no probably not no i like this here we'll we'll make a big board of anyone who's eligible and if they if he
Starting point is 01:43:34 challenges them you you erase their name so you can't pick them again yeah so he has to be strategic about the yeah right who he picks right Okay, this is good. So we'll do, let's say, 15 events. So he's got to win half. 15 events? Yeah, remember, we already have five set that are just the same as last time. Okay. So it's not like a huge haul.
Starting point is 01:44:00 Okay. This is going to be fun. It's Mincy versus The Office. Yeah, there it is. Yeah. Okay. This is going to be fun. It's Mincy versus The Office. There it is. Yeah. And if he doesn't go over 500, does he have to restart event one? I don't know after that.
Starting point is 01:44:15 He needs an incentive, though. Yeah. It has to be, like, something involving his escapades where he goes away to things. Like, put him on probation from going to poker events. We do have the air tags. I don't want to take away that from Mincy, though. If you take away his poker, what is he going to do? Go to Widespread Panic every goddamn weekend? He has to tweet something mean about them.
Starting point is 01:44:38 About Widespread Panic? He's done with Widespread Panic. He'll quit. Yeah, no, I know. He has to tweet to Meek Mill. Okay, I'm looking at the chat for help. Someone said, Mincy ice bath punishment. Every failed challenge adds time to the ice bath.
Starting point is 01:44:50 That's pretty good. I would like to see him in an ice bath. Yeah, do we have an ice bath? All you need is a... I have a little dog pool that folds out and it could be easily done. We just need a garbage can, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:08 Yeah, we could just do a garbage can so alright that's a good one cause that's a good conclusion so I think he's impervious to negative reinforcement no but alright but hold on think about the noises I would love to see him in an ice bath yeah the ice bath
Starting point is 01:45:23 noises would be like a whole new album. So everyone he loses adds a minute, adds 30 seconds. I think he starts at 30 seconds, and we say everyone he loses he adds like 15 seconds. Yeah. So if he lost, what would cause death? We should do whatever would cause death a second less. One second less. One second less.
Starting point is 01:45:54 All right, so if he lost every single one, it would be close to four minutes. That's nothing. Yeah. If he loses eight, and it's 15 seconds, then that's two minutes. Two minutes. think that yeah yeah so i think it should start the baseline should be two minutes and every time he loses his 15 seconds at it so if he wins every event he still has to do it for two minutes yeah yeah yeah the noises okay i like this i think is going to be a very fun episode.
Starting point is 01:46:26 I think it's going to be a very fun day. And we'll just tell everyone. I'll email everyone and be like, unless you have an injury. You are eligible to compete against Mincy. All right. So off air, we're going to come up with the actual events. Yes. Hank, do we have an ice bath?
Starting point is 01:46:41 We have one in a box. We have one in a box. We have one in a box. Can we take in a box. We have one in a box? Can we take it out of the box? In theory. In theory. That's a yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:51 So, yeah, can we do that? We're doing testing for Minzy's pro day. What do you mean? We got the advanced stats. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but this is for the pro day. Come sit down, Hank, real quick. He fell for it again. Fell for it again Hank, real quick. He fell for it again.
Starting point is 01:47:05 Fell for it again. What a fucking idiot. Fell for it again. Oh, well. No, I have a question about Mincy's pro day. All right. Now you're on the wheel. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:47:16 I actually have a question. So we're going to do 15 events, and it's going to be Mincy versus the office. So he has a list of everyone in the office who's eligible who's like who wants to participate what happened in my homes we we were thinking it through and i think this is way better kyle's kyle came up with this idea it's very good so it's 15 events he has to pick who he wants to go against in each event so like first event is the is the 35 yard dash he has to pick someone's name off the whiteboard and once they're picked they're erased off the whiteboard and every time he loses an event he adds 15
Starting point is 01:47:53 seconds to the ice bath and he has it's starting at two minutes so he could potentially have to go in the ice bath for like five minutes or zero no two is the base oh if he wins it doesn't come off yeah two is the baseline yeah we have we have ice baths in boxes that are like 30 feet long like i don't know how big these ice baths are all right let's get these are huge we can get them out though but hank just brought up something what if it starts at four minutes and if he wins it's the time goes down less and if he loses his 15 seconds more because you incentivize him to win. Yeah. Okay, so maybe that's it. What's the average
Starting point is 01:48:29 ice bath time? Yeah, let's look up. Start at three minutes. Depends on how cold it is. I like three or 250. Way too advanced for what we're doing here. Stats are too advanced? They're for pro teams to evaluate data and load management and exact, precise things for athletes.
Starting point is 01:48:46 We've got to let the whole office know they've got to be ready to compete tomorrow. I was also thinking if he lost an event, there would be a topic we assign him that he has to blog about. Ooh, I'd like that. That might be better than the ice bath. I think my event's going to be the Oklahoma drill.
Starting point is 01:49:02 I just want the ice bath because the sound. Yeah, right. Well, why don't we have be the Oklahoma drill. I just want the ice bath because the sounds. Right. Well, why don't we have that as one of the pro day things? Ice bath? Three-minute ice bath. Oh, yes. He has to go against someone. Who could stay in longer?
Starting point is 01:49:14 Okay. All right. All right. I like the blog. All right. Now we've got some really good. And if he fails, that's another blog that he has to write about a topic we choose. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:27 Okay. So the ice bath will happen no matter what. Yes. Now we are saying that he could pick one of us to go in the ice bath. Yeah. If we already competed in the pro day, though, we're exempt, right? No. Damn it.
Starting point is 01:49:39 You were trying to throw me under the fucking bus? You competed? I mean, you took part in it. No, there'll be a list of everyone. I'm going to send an email. It's being like, if you have an injury or you don't want to compete, just let me know and we'll take you off. Super.
Starting point is 01:49:53 There's some good data. Like, he's going to have to use a lot of strategy in this. Okay. All right. So the ice bath will be its own challenge. Yeah. Where's just who can stay in longer. Somebody might forfeit that.
Starting point is 01:50:09 Do we need two ice baths so they're in the same time, or do we – Have Mincy go first. Maybe have Mincy go first to set the time. That's a good point. We're not really – That person can. We're not incentivizing the rest of the group. Like if –
Starting point is 01:50:22 Oh, true. The ice bath did help us. if he's like i picked connor griffin to do the ice bath against like what what what is in it for connor to win he gets mincy scheduled for a week you know what i mean he gets the week off i think it would just be a point of pride like i don't think i'd want to lose to mincy yeah i agree i just i'm worried there will be people i think a harder one like the ice pad might be interesting. Do we have him compete or do we just set a bar? Well, we could do...
Starting point is 01:50:53 What are they doing? Looks like they're running suicides. I got the solution. How about $200 cash anytime anyone beats Minsky? Any minute. Okay. That's it. Hurry up. Here we go. $200cy. Okay. Done. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:51:11 $100 cash if you beat Mincy. Perfect. I'll bring a bunch of cash and we'll just do that. So everyone will have an incentive to beat Mincy. So what's his punishment? He has to write a blog. If you fail a challenge, there's a blog that is assigned from that challenge. So let's say he fails... Women's reproductive rights. Yeah, he has to write a blog? If you fail a challenge, there's a blog that is assigned from that challenge. So let's say he fails.
Starting point is 01:51:27 Women's reproductive rights. Yeah, he has to write about that. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, or should we make him write, like, how long of a blog do you think Mincy could write? Without using the word I? I mean...
Starting point is 01:51:46 What can we give? What can be the punishment if he loses? I don't hate the blog, but what hurts him? He's unbeatable. I know. Like physical punishments, I think he's fine with. It's nothing to him I hear him
Starting point is 01:52:07 I hear him he's about he's out and about now what could he do to that man is he about to run a about to get a preview right now maybe like get a Nike swoosh.
Starting point is 01:52:25 What's a punishment we can give Mincy? Yeah, there's nothing. What about like three lines? Something fun with his new haircut? But he looks too good. Someone just said literally brand him. Oh, God. I think he'd be fine with it Yeah
Starting point is 01:52:47 I don't know what What is the So I think money affects him The possibility of losing or gaining How fast what? Like miles per hour? I think he went 14 miles an hour. 16?
Starting point is 01:53:07 Close. Is that how he started? Yeah, this pro day is going to be... Yeah. Everything about this pro day is going to be good. What's that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:25 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That ain't bad. Quick feet. Pants. Yeah, quick feet. Quick feet.
Starting point is 01:53:32 Pants. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. He's wearing jeans that look pretty tight. It doesn't matter. He's moving. Get 20. Run, Mince.
Starting point is 01:53:42 Speed, Damon. Speed, Damon. Speed, Damon. Quick feet. There he goes. Run, Mince. Speed, Damon. Speed, Damon. Speed, Damon. Quick feet. There he goes. Push, Mince. Oh, there was a noise. Are there, like, temporary tattoos that last, like, a week?
Starting point is 01:53:57 Get a henna face tattoo? Yeah, like his neck. Maybe his whole neck. That won't do it. I don't know who you're dealing with. How do you break this guy? What is he? He loves White's Red Panic.
Starting point is 01:54:14 He loves him. Ole Miss and Ben Mance. Yeah. Yeah. What if you had to wear Mississippi State gear? Done. For an entire week. I think he would smile through it.
Starting point is 01:54:26 Yeah, he would. What's the NIL collective for Mississippi State? Oh, the Bulldog Initiative. Yeah, he should have to give something to that. What if he's got to busk downtown doing something until he makes $100? He'll do it. Gladly. something to that. What if he's got to like busk downtown doing something until he makes a hundred bucks? Won't, won't, he'll do it.
Starting point is 01:54:47 Gladly. Won't do any. He'll post his highlight clip. Maybe he could tweet out a video for the Bulldog Collective. I don't want to do that for the Bulldog Collective. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:57 Once it banned him from seeing whites for a year. What? You all right? What? What? What are you... What just came out of your mouth?
Starting point is 01:55:08 What is that? Lettuce? Yeah, y'all gonna beat this motherfucker? Is there lettuce in your lungs? I got a little announcement. What? You got an announcement to make? Come here. It's breaking news.
Starting point is 01:55:28 Damn, that hurt. Nice haircut, Mincy. Very nice. Turn into Brandon a little bit. Whoa, you guys do look... Hold on. Yeah. Sit right there.
Starting point is 01:55:42 Yeah, you guys look exactly alike. It's just funny because when I got to New York, I saw it was like Hollywood haircut. I was like, I'll never be like that now. Yeah, look at you now. So the breaking news. Obviously, y'all saw when I was on here Tuesday and my $1,000 donation. Well, I tried it on the Unnamed Show today and it got laughed at as expected. Well, you didn't expect it well
Starting point is 01:56:05 well anyway the palm beach kennel club has decided to match my thousand dollar donation and we'll be and we'll be running a charity poker tournament to donate to a lifeline animal in may but that's not you well i mean there's someone else's well i mean i gave they got a lot of partial people on their streams because of me over the weekend. But anyway, so they're matching the $1,000 and going to run a charity poker tournament. So he's giving $2,000 basically. They're giving $1,000, but either way
Starting point is 01:56:34 we're trying to do more. I don't think that's nothing. Mincy, have you ever done an ice bath before? No. The cold is tough on me too, but I'll do it. That might just be it. We just but I'll do it. Okay. That might just be it.
Starting point is 01:56:48 We just might have to do the ice. Yeah, the time. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I have no idea yet. Pro day tomorrow. Excited.
Starting point is 01:56:53 Yep. The Viva TV. Shout out to our Viva TV crew. I think they're doing an awesome job. Me and Billy's training methods were interesting as usual, the fight or flight stuff. What is Blutman doing? He's doing it his way.
Starting point is 01:57:05 He doesn't know how to do it. Is he doing it backwards? What's he? Your test is top speed. Great hair flow. Great flapping. He told me this morning that he tried to straight face challenge the comedy show last night. Yeah, I didn't want to tell you.
Starting point is 01:57:19 He did the no laugh challenge. He failed. Did he do well? But, yeah, I was like, wow. I'm sure that'll mean a lot to the boys. There were a lot of people doing that, Brandon. That's what it was. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:57:39 Okay. All right, well, Mincy. We'll see you tomorrow. Be ready. I'll be ready. There's a lot of challenges. Okay. We have a lot on the line.
Starting point is 01:57:46 I'm just shocked and would never imagine that. Twists and turns? No. You will be competing against people. You don't say. All right. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:57:55 Okay. I actually have the idea. Do you fart? I have the idea, but I don't know if we can do it. No. But I have the idea. What is it? I would love to just see a Mincy versus Clemmer pro day.
Starting point is 01:58:13 I know. Oh, my goodness gracious. Get him out here every night. If I get Clemmer out here tonight, I'll pay for it. A Mincy versus Clemmer pro day would be the best. That now. All right, I'm going to scrap everything. All right.
Starting point is 01:58:25 Yep. Yep. Just the two of them just going mano a mano on everything. Everything. Okay. Oh, my God. All right. They're facing each other on ice.
Starting point is 01:58:36 I'm calling them. Who came up with that just now? Who do you think he is? That was brilliant. Good shit. Yeah. I started thinking about how much I just like, that was so great. Clemmer, you're on the yak.
Starting point is 01:58:51 Hello, hello everyone. Hello. Hello, hello, hello. Clemmer, can you, do you have anything planned tomorrow? Tomorrow, I have, um, uh, no, no, pick central and then I have some stuff for solitary confinement I need to do, but other than that. So, no. All right, so.
Starting point is 01:59:07 Let solitary confinement start. I need you to get on a flight to Chicago tonight. Tonight? Okay. Uh, I'll get, I'll figure out all your travel and everything right after I finish the Yak. It's going to be a Mincy versus Clemmer mano-a-mano pro day. Okay, I can do that. And we'll do a cash prize. Okay, I can do that. And we'll do a cash prize.
Starting point is 01:59:25 Okay, I like that too. Okay, so it's going to be 15 events or so, and it will be varying events. We'll make sure that you... No punishments for Clemmer, though. No punishments for Clemmer, but cash prize for Clemmer if you win. Yes, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:59:38 Okay, so I'll hit you up as soon as we end the yak, and we'll get you a flight, a hotel. You'll be able to fly back after, so you can fly back Friday night, so you can do your stuff on Saturday. Yeah, so I'll tell you if I'm going to start on Monday. Okay. That'd be perfect. Okay.
Starting point is 01:59:53 All right. Perfect. All right. Thank you, Clemmer. I'll text you in a minute. All right. Okay, bye. Wow.
Starting point is 01:59:59 He is so down for what he's a man. That's Clemmer, man. I'm so excited for tomorrow now. It feels like Christmas Eve. I need all the graphics. Mincy versus Clemmer is like, it's when Mayweather and De La Hoya. We all going to take sides? Well, I think we're all rooting for Clemmer.
Starting point is 02:00:15 Yeah. Mincy's punished. The movable object. So now we got to make sure that we don't. Maybe the weightlifting will just be the bar so that Clemmer can actually... Nothing on it, Ian. Everything fair. Everything fair, right.
Starting point is 02:00:31 And I'll just give Clemmer... Clemmer has a chance to win money. Mincy has a chance to have to go into the ice bath. Yeah. Or no, Mincy's going to the ice bath. No, I still want the guaranteed ice bath. Yeah, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:00:44 Mincy will just have to go in the ice bath. We'll just do it and Mincy will just go in the ice bath. Yeah, okay. Mitzi will just have to go in the ice bath. We'll just do it and Mitzi will just go in the ice bath. I know he didn't do anything wrong, but I'd like to see Clemmer in the ice bath. He'd die. You're right. He'd die. Yeah, that would take very quick. Okay.
Starting point is 02:00:57 Oh, my God. All right. We got to get him here. Clemmer in those pants would make him look like those. One of the challenges has to be him putting the pants on. All right. This is going to be incredible Clemmer Okay
Starting point is 02:01:18 Should we spin the wheel? I want there to be like a crowd of bystanders Cheerleaders a band that would be awesome towel whip Lucas oh my god how does this work
Starting point is 02:01:40 crack his pants right off elimination wheel elimination wheel to find who gets whipped and one wheel to find who whips. I don't think I know how to do it. I don't think I'd be. Yeah, it's kind of risky because the person might not know how to do it very well. Yeah. Is it something we're doing today or would that be?
Starting point is 02:01:54 This is today. We could do it tomorrow as part of the. No, no, no. Oh, okay. Let's do it. Yeah. We had so many people sit on the yak today. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:02 Yeah, elimination to see who gets whipped. Real quick. See how it goes you want to use a wet towel right yeah yes okay this is gonna be incredible what a cornucopia of an episode i know a little bit everything in there it all comes back to Che's big wide chop. Big old sledgehammer. I got the ball rolling.
Starting point is 02:02:28 Any text back? He's probably intimidated. What, sorry? Nah, never mind. You can pay attention to the show right now, man. Well, I feel like we have to make Zah exempt from this wheel. What wheel? The towel-whipping wheel.
Starting point is 02:02:45 Why? Why? That's-whipping wheel. Why? Why? That's exactly what I asked. He's down for whatever. All right. Why? Jesus. He does the other wheels.
Starting point is 02:02:53 All right. Who? Zah. He said Zah should be exempt from the... What? What? Why? I see you.
Starting point is 02:02:59 Oh! Zah's out. Zah's out. Zah's out. Yeah, Brandon's history books probably look a little different than the rest of ours. Tough optics. I don't know if you remember a certain... But Zaw can still whip one of us.
Starting point is 02:03:15 That's a reach. Oh, yeah, that's a reach, too. I think it's too far. Yeah. This is the yak. I don't know that we're... All right. This is the yak I don't know that we're Alright I don't want to be caught doing it That's going to be the biggest punishment
Starting point is 02:03:32 The loser has to rip Hold on If it's Zod it's going to be me I'm wearing a poker It's going to be me I can'm wearing a Pope. It's going to be me. I can't delete the clip. That's my ticket home. That is over.
Starting point is 02:03:49 That's my ticket home right there. Okay. Oh, no. Okay. So this is who's getting whipped. This is who's getting whipped. Eliminator or? Eliminator.
Starting point is 02:03:59 And then the other one is just one first. Oh, there we go. There we go. The wheel is straight. The wheel's got our back oh there we go the wheel is straight the wheels got our back there we go i think they got to do it until they actually get the whip no no like it once not let's add za would you like to be the whip the person who whips hell yeah okay okay no no i'm kidding no i think that's part of it i think it should be one shot really spider it'd be really underwhelming can you grab us a towel? No, yeah, you gotta do it until you get it.
Starting point is 02:04:29 I need it to be Lucas. Those pants will split. Oh, he's getting a towel? What part of your body is getting whipped? Ass. Butt. With pants off. What?
Starting point is 02:04:49 It's got to be like a... What do you got? Oh, nice. Body armor. I think we've got to wet it. Come on, Lucas. Oh, my. Thank you, God.
Starting point is 02:05:21 For what? You're done for, Kate. You're getting it. Oh, no. You're asking for it. I'm having the worst week of my life. You should have done that, Kate. He's in tremendous pain. Oh, no.
Starting point is 02:05:36 Oh, no. I mean, get the fuck out of here. Oh, no, Kate. Kate, a mistake was made. No! All right. I'll take it for you, Kate. No, no. I'll take it for you, Kate. Can I take it for her? I'll take it for you Kate Can I take it for her?
Starting point is 02:06:08 Can I take it for her? No I gotta do it But it might not be Might not be Kate It will be This is gonna be quite the visual. Yeah. Is that the whip?
Starting point is 02:06:32 No. One spin. I don't want to be. Oh, no. It's big cat. One nothing. What if you get swept? Is it bare ass?
Starting point is 02:06:44 Yeah, I'll do bare ass. Okay. No sweep. Look at that. Down for anything. This will be... Whoever has to... If it's...
Starting point is 02:06:55 If it's Kate that gets whipped, whoever has to whip Kate is going to be way worse. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's the actual punishment, is you... Oh, it might be Kate? Who's your guest today? Ishuh. Yeah. That's the actual punishment is you. Oh, it might be Kate. Who's your guest today?
Starting point is 02:07:09 Is that, uh, what's his name? Jim. Yeah. Jim Root, yeah. Was he here before? I think he's been here before, yeah. 2-2. 2-2. There we go.
Starting point is 02:07:27 Three, two, Kate. One more. All right. There we go. Who's going to whip me? There is a God. Who's going to whip me? You may have doomed yourself by getting the towel already.
Starting point is 02:07:47 Well, I had to get it wet. Yeah. You have to get it. It has to be wet. Otherwise, it won't work. I feel like you kind of want to get whipped. I feel like. No.
Starting point is 02:07:54 Although, there is something we said. Like, you know, obviously, a lot of the bad ideas come from my brain. So, it's good if I show that I'm okay to get punished as well. It's not that the bad idea comes from my brain. So it's good if I show that I'm okay to get punished as well. It's not that the bad idea comes from your brain. It's when somebody says something stupid or bad you go, put it on the wheel. Yeah. Oh God.
Starting point is 02:08:20 That's a perfect little whip and tap. Look at the dust flying off that thing. It's water. You do not want this to land on me by the way I'm very good at this. I'm not good at it. Oh Shit Oh, shit. Oh, shit. No. No. No. Eliminator wheel. Mark. Mark.
Starting point is 02:08:54 Incredible. Incredible. Oh, wow. He's really rolling it. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's rolling it tight. Rolling the shit out of the thing. Oh, he's rolling it tight.
Starting point is 02:09:03 Look at the glee in his... He knows exactly what he's doing. He's wearing the bow. Bow. Yep. Look at this. Look at this. How hard do I do this?
Starting point is 02:09:26 Whatever you want. I think you can get him. Dude, this is... Maybe the craziest visual we've ever had. No. Come on, Mark. No. Come on, Mark. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 02:09:56 Oh, my God. Yes. Damn. Wow. Oh, that one was good. That was good. You could feel the crack. You could hear it. Oh, that one was good. That was good. You could feel the crack. You could hear it. Oh, man.
Starting point is 02:10:09 What a show, boys and girls. What a show. What a show, boys and girls. Yeah, I wanted to get real sadistic, and then I saw your ass. That hurts. We used to We used to We used to draw blood back in the day Oh yeah some guys are great
Starting point is 02:10:31 Yeah Oh yeah It's like I mean it's It's so painful Because it like hits And then it also just stings It makes a wild
Starting point is 02:10:38 After Alright great yak guys Tomorrow's gonna be even better Climber vs. Mincy Mono e Mono Two titans One champion We'll figure out all the stakes All right, great yak, guys. Tomorrow's going to be even better. Clemmer versus Mincy, mano y mano. Two titans, one champion. We'll figure out all the stakes. We'll figure out all the events.
Starting point is 02:10:51 We'll have it all organized for tomorrow's show. See you then. It's the act. Take care tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Bye.

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