The Yak - Malasek is Officially Down to His Final 3 Girls | The Yak 9-27-24

Episode Date: September 28, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo TJ pull that up. It's the Yak presented by Robak. Hoodies, crewnecks, joggers. The new sprint joggers are a must wear for men and women. The new fleeces are ultra soft, shatter free tees. Go to Robak.com slash yak for 20% off It's Friday. Happy birthday to little Wayne Wow Avril Lavigne both in their 40s and still touring. Is that the original Avril or the That's a rumor Melissa people were up in arms that Wayne little Wayne isn't
Starting point is 00:01:06 Doing the Super Bowl in New Orleans. He included but then people were just people were just like, well, he's a Packers fan. So what? That doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't fucking matter. No. No, he wanted to do it, too. He reached out deliberately. He's like, what do I have to do in order to play the Super Bowl?
Starting point is 00:01:15 And they said, nah, it's for Kendrick. It's Kendrick's year. Yeah, that's sorry to weigh in. I think I know more Lil Wayne bangers than Kendrick. People, yeah, I think we all do Kate I want you to be the mouthpiece of hip-hop Are all little the same Happy birthday to my mother. Wow. Mama. And my dead father. What? They had the same birthday? Explain that. No. Well, his birthday is September 29th. Their anniversary
Starting point is 00:02:00 was the 30th and her birthday is the first, which is Monday or Tuesday. Okay, so early birthday. So neither of these. Not today. We went from thinking it was both of their Anniversary was the 30th and her birthday is the first which is Monday Tuesday, okay Yeah, we went from thinking it was both of their birthdays today, so now it's none of their birthdays Yeah, I just went ahead and wish everyone a Merry Christmas Happy birthday to my mom and if it's Friday can't you say on a Friday show happy birthday this person if that birthday is on Saturday She watching doesn't feel right. It does feel right. We don't have a show on Sunday, so I can't tell you I just tweeted out. Yeah, what you say 27th 28th 27th 27 so I can't I can't what's her birthday Tuesday Should have waited yeah
Starting point is 00:02:41 But he brought the birthday thing up and I thought well now well now's the time. I was saying, people who have a birthday right now, as we speak. And happy birthday to Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah, Kyle wouldn't ever. They just loaded birthday day. He would never mention birthdays again. This is the one day he would do that, so. Gwyneth Paltrow.
Starting point is 00:02:57 We would have had another opportunity. Had a vagina scented candle on her. She was a goop. She did. A goop tycoon. She's a goop tycoon. You could get the Jade Pussy Egg. Oh, that's right Egg for like $700.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Was it really scented like a vagina? It was scented like her vagina. Salmon. And you know she played that enormous whale in Shallow Hal. She did, yeah. I forgot about that movie. Didn't she do a thing where she was like seeing what it's like to be homeless and then after like one day was like this Fucking sucks I think she did like the weak challenge of trying to live on a dollar a day. She was doing some weird shit
Starting point is 00:03:37 I was fucking stupid. Yeah, like snorting her toenails. Well, she's starting to maybe not I would hate to lie about that She's like they take the foreskin and then like mash it up and put it on their faces I think she's a placenta girl for years Homeless people never do the reverse how come homeless people never see what it's like to live on a million dollars Yeah, be a real series Yeah, that is true. It's a great point. Yeah, they do do that. Yeah I think it could work for somebody squatting is misnamed Is it yeah, I think so because it sounds like poo poo sounds like they're pooping in the house. They are well
Starting point is 00:04:11 I guess that's true Huh, there's squatting when they're squatting I The squatting things I see I refuse to believe those are real that our laws actually allow that because I You can just walk in somebody's house and be like this is mine don't seem right it yes yeah that's I don't allow they the law doesn't allow it does it the law enforcement allows it it's right like surely there's a law somewhere there's a law there's a loophole that the people do it by the books it's not allowed right it's strange you always see a news story just
Starting point is 00:04:43 like yeah this family's been living in my house For yeah, three years. Yeah, what how many days you have to stay in order to legally be able to stay there It's it's something I don't know it's like I'm they like yeah, and they don't leave and What I mean at what point do you have to like wrestle them? Like at least yeah, can you toss them out at least roll around on the floor with him until somebody taps Give him a stern talking to Yeah I think by day seven he gets physical Is that your dream weekend Kyle? Just wrestling with your squatter?
Starting point is 00:05:12 Yeah I ended up just like, fuck that was cathartic Stay! That's what I've been missing Don't get any better though That was fun for me Would you respect them if they beat you and they're like alright one more yeah, that would also be good I lost like 11 to 7 combat for home. All right. Well stay let me try to get better first. Yeah Thank I'll ask to squat in someone else's house and beat them to take their you could squat your way up to a mansion Squatting to a mansion wrestle yeah
Starting point is 00:05:43 squat your way up to a mansion. Yeah. Squatting to a mansion. Squat and wrestle. Yeah. Yeah. Is Che here today? There's some abandoned mansions. Uh Che still. Yeah, there he is. You look worse. Yeah, I'm uh I'm on the upswing. I'll be okay in a day or two. Was it a cold or do you have the flu? Uh cold. I don't have a I don't have a fever. It's just very congested. Notice you uh couldn't work yesterday, and you were sick But you still got a nut off to I Mean technically it is work because I'm this is the content that I'm putting out so you can argue. I was working hard
Starting point is 00:06:16 Does your family know like I'm talking parents Nephews as do they know No, I did get a text from a Barstow employee yesterday that was like what all the NFL gifts mean? And I had to uh Who was the Barstow employee? Once they consented What? Who was the Barstow employee?
Starting point is 00:06:35 Nate Dogg Oh and then you made him consent before you told him? Yeah I was like I don't know if you really want to know it's not safe for work and you know 2024 yeah he did in fact want to know what number that's 19 holy shit I think I'm gonna win yeah I don't know I think Danny's guess was good a lot of you were in the middle of October right so he's gotta get to Halloween is mine so I did Valentine's Day. I didn't think he was that big of a pervert, but he is. What does the winner get? Is there a winner?
Starting point is 00:07:09 You get to keep one of the ejaculates. Yeah, a vial of nut. Because when I was fleshing out my hypothetical, I was like, Che's going to come to work every day. He's going to be tired from work. I'd never factored in that he would just skip work and jack off. He could have never thought about that. never thought that might and that's all might
Starting point is 00:07:28 be a time I'm so okay you got your flu shot what three days ago and now you're sick for Mon Monday and yeah I mean it's not the flu so I don't know it's kind of funny what is it? Did you guys get your flu shot? No. No, we're all here. Hate lie. I got... that was the third sir I got.
Starting point is 00:07:52 They called you sir at the flu shot? It was at the VA. Oh, Jesus. I walked in and... third time in like, two months. King of the jabs. That rocks. How'd you get a sir? Cause I had a hat on and I look like a dude, kind of.
Starting point is 00:08:04 You don't. You don't? With a hat on and I look like a dude kind of you don't you don't you got a hat on I Don't think so Woman I don't know maybe transitioning dude at best I wear loose clothes. I had a hat on it was the VA. It's all dudes. Yeah, that's third for the third And I got my flu shot And I'm at work. I feel fine. See Malik neighbors third I got served for the third time. And then I got my flu shot. And I'm at work. I feel fine.
Starting point is 00:08:26 See, Malik neighbors served Miles Garrett the other day. No, he didn't. They were playing, well, they played Cleveland. And the mic'd up, caught Miles Garrett being like, hey, man, you're a dog. Keep it up. And he said, thank you, sir. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Respectful. I like a good sir. Yeah. Is it disrespectful if you don't want to, like, because that to me is like, oh, you're older. No, I think that's sir. Yeah. Is it disrespectful if you don't want to like cuz that to me is like oh you're older No, I think that's southern. Okay. I think that's being raised in Louisiana I call every uber driver sir, man. I do to our southerners Stay safe. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's southeast. That's impossible. Do you agree leave safe?
Starting point is 00:09:03 I don't know if you can stay safe in a flood. Well, if they're... You gotta leave. You have to leave safe. Evacuate safe. Remain safe is what you're trying to say. But no, you don't want them to remain... You should say leave safe.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Be safe. You can't just go to the basement. Be safe. Be safe. Be safe. Be safe. I would extend that to everybody, really. Yeah. Not just us? Yeah, just everybody. Let's have a safe weekend all of us one and all you think that's achievable
Starting point is 00:09:31 Yeah, I don't know how many how many serious accidents you think happen with people in our audience every weekend That achievable Horrible happen while Being a fan of the yak let us know yeah, I would love a weekly yak blotter What's the biggest stuff who got arrested from our fans? Yeah, right? Who's getting married kit? We just had a baby yak the other day. Did you see I saw the yak Blake Blake of the year? There's no like here. He was watching his first episode at three days old. Wow. Yeah, I'm starting young. Mm-hmm It's a big Jake Malasek fan he already hates women that's great Refusing the teat
Starting point is 00:10:19 You think he'll be in a better mood today Jake, I hope not No, I was talking to him out there and he's like we're in pretty deep huh yeah and we are I he's afraid of getting hurt as he should he's been hurt in the past yeah take did you hear from any more of the gals no okay I'm just like I say this I can't believe they're still do I'm like they shouldn't be that just shows how dumb Jada we I love it they're amazing did we get a hundred percent participation on everything today? Jesus wow that was a 200 percent smile. Yeah, what happened they do a lot Yes
Starting point is 00:10:57 One of them has an eight slide PowerPoint on what they're gonna do with the $2,000 date like it fantastic The testimonials are all very good. A couple people submitted multiple. Whoa. I'm fine with that. Um IG Explore page as well as but um yeah I was very happy with the responses. Are you wearing a t-shirt under that hoodie? Long sleeve t-shirt. So Che wears quarter zips with no shirt on under yeah Did we talk about that already? No? I thought it was interesting. That's not
Starting point is 00:11:36 There's nothing we can extract from that Well, I don't wanna be that guy, but he's not actually watching. Yeah. He's listening. He's listening. I don't know if he's gonna really get it though, you know? That baby's first words are gonna be fuck mook.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my God. I had a dude come up to me in the Harris teeter this morning Time and I was Harris teeter up here pastrami and he started phase one with me Oh operation synthesis it was unbelievable wait. I'm on phase one. You're on phase one. Yeah, if anybody wants to join along Feel free just remain you know we have merch coming out. We have merch coming soon. Yeah, and the community has been unbelievable Supporting it's been one. It's been overwhelming even I like the dude at the teeter was just like dude
Starting point is 00:12:34 I don't want to bug you, but I said no no no I know what this is about Yeah, there's one phase one, and it's been unbelievable. I hope it's been unbelievable for everybody else. It's been pretty powerful Yeah, yeah, and TJ I guess we have a surprise video Surprise video that you sent me yeah What the fuck My god is that the synthesis? Wow, things are going good.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Oh, no. Oh, fuck. Oh Nikki mom and dad what mom proud of you for starting operations synthesis pretty amazing what you've accomplished I know you've talked about it for years. I can't believe you're actually doing it Congratulations, so proud good stuff, son Wow Wow, it's undeniably a it started and So proud good stuff son Wow Wow, it's undeniably it started and there's no questions. Oh That was crazy to see the support. Do you feel different? Yes? Subscribing to the subreddit now. Yeah, yeah, we got it. Yeah, so we have merch coming soon. Just the community has been again Incredible should we get it trending we could we could are you gonna be like selling a guide so we can be I mean
Starting point is 00:14:33 I yeah, I mean, I think it's pretty it's pretty self-explanatory. Yeah, that's comprehensive but you follow the pillars you make sure everybody follows the pillars and We hold each other accountable. accountable okay that's the biggest thing accountability community and phase two is coming soon apparently whoa from what I've heard whoa Bren Wow come twist and turns no doubt yeah probably I'm excited. Holy shit. Kendall Jenner? Kind of. That's insane. I guess I will ask, how did you end up
Starting point is 00:15:11 with the jeans on backwards? That, yeah, that was crazy. A little misstep. But that's what it's about. You've never done that? Learning, I guess. Yeah. I don't know That's an I don't want to talk about it anymore. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry apologize
Starting point is 00:15:30 I what if people want to opt in if people want to opt in? Is it too late to start phase one? No, no, no you can So what you have to do? There's one main thing to opt in you have to tweet at the Pope with your pants on Backwards. Oh, And you can either caption it, why do bad things happen to good people? Or you can caption it, hawk toa. Okay. Hey, I did it this morning.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Why do you? Yes. Fuck. So. All right, so yeah, it's, get the submissions in and that's an instant opt in if you do that? It's an instant opt in and then that's the beginning of phase one, that's the first domino
Starting point is 00:16:04 and then you'll know what to do next okay? Need easy easy start a tweet broke Tweet broke to go viral pressures tweedle shows up to people who follow both you and the Pope pretty niche audience That guy's to get a baloney sandwich is not allowed in operation synthesis Yeah, he was looking out for you. Well. Yeah, he's out He's out Turn pull that down All right
Starting point is 00:16:32 How many followers does the pope have on Twitter? He has a multiple different accounts. He has a couple burners That's the one and he tweets in English. Oh, TJ! Don't ratio! Don't ratio, Frank! He just... That might work. Oh, God. He's gonna delete the tweet. Oh, no. If I ratio the Pope, I become the Pope.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Yeah, that's right. That's how it works. Let's uh What shit let's look up some bishops to Cardinal bevel aqua was a big one. Everybody knows that guy. Everyone remembers him The Pope doesn't do the numbers you'd think he would. No. Also, 18 million followers isn't... Isn't Pope-like. Well, that's... Just English, but still. That's just English.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Still. You think more? I would think so. 18 million for the Pope? I don't know if people of the church use Twitter. Yeah, maybe not. He's big in South America. Huge. I don't know if people of the church use Twitter. Hmm. Yeah, maybe not. He's big in South America. Huge.
Starting point is 00:17:47 I feel like I don't know if they're big on Twitter. Is he an Argentinian man? Oh, he might be. Don't know. What's his native tongue? I don't know much about this pope. I don't either. I don't know his lore.
Starting point is 00:18:00 I never even hear about him. What's the last thing he's done? He kind of fell off on pope. He's like, he's grazed the gay topic he's like Buenos Aires the Pope worked as a bouncer and a janitor what oh imagine getting rejected from the club I recognize that guy no I'll go is that bouncer the fucking Pope these mopping floors with dreams of becoming the next Pope a technician a bopping floors with dreams of becoming the next pope. Work as a technician. A bouncer is insane. We need to know more about that. Is he big? No, I don't think so. Didn't look big.
Starting point is 00:18:34 What's the Pope's height? He could have been like a Walgreens bouncer. He's also old. Has he always been old? Probably. You have to be old. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's a show about a young pope. No, that can't be right. That's right. He's ripping heaters in front of the church, right? Yeah, there's a show about a young pope. No, that can't be right. That's right He's ripping heaters in front of the church, right? Hope yeah, you see there's a what is the passion of the Christ sequel gonna be about? Resurrection I guess is it gonna be at the alien sequel or a prequel five nine Mandel's IMDB Mandel it Pope
Starting point is 00:19:03 Mark you think he can recruit as well as Cal did? We'll see, yeah. The young pope is, uh, he'll get the rivalry with Louisville going if not else. We got him. Oh, Horatio the pope! Oh shit. Holy shit, dude. Holy fucking shit. Do it every time. This is kind of scary, dude. Holy fucking shit, do it every time.
Starting point is 00:19:26 This is kinda scary dude. Yeah. I kinda don't want you to. We're sinning. Shit. It's gotta be all what, atheist quote tweeting? You think anyone at the Vatican is like giggling at this right now?
Starting point is 00:19:42 Sir, you're gonna have to step down. You have been ratioed. What's the last time he was here? People go nuts when he comes to the US. He had the Pope Mobile and like I remember when he came to Philly, they're selling like Pope soap on a rope. This one feels more low key than the other popes. Uh Benedict before him was way more low key. He quit. JP the two was he was the celebrity. He was the one that I'm thinking of who like he would come to America.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Obviously, yeah. My grandma would go nuts. He was Pope forever. He was signing tits. Yeah, he was Pope in the 90s. Oh, yeah. Well, that's why it's not. Yeah, that's the he got shot. You got the 90s bump. One of the popes got shot, I think.
Starting point is 00:20:22 That's why the mobile. Yeah. Mobile. It's why the mobile became a thing. Yeah, the Pope Mobile. That's good shit. Che? Hope talk. I just like to see. I like to pull Che up right now, man. I just like to look at you. Thanks. How we doing? Che, are you forcing your beats? What? Are you forcing your beats? Are you beating off despite not really feeling oh yeah, no, it's not really enjoyable anymore so that
Starting point is 00:20:52 This is what we want. We didn't want this. Yeah, we want to be natural. Yeah, no you should keep forcing it because you got to hit that Don't actually win anything Isn't there some kind of prize? I don't remember. Probably some of Big Cat's money. I lose track of it though. Alright, get Jake's ass in here. Get Jake's bitch ass in here.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Jake, come on in. Oh, good question for us. On Chay's Around the Office, who's been your favorite contestant so far before Jay gets in here? I don't remember any. I can't, I don't remember the names to the applicants. There was one that was funny.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Was that the one that- Oh, she was like first eliminated, wasn't she? She was eliminated, I think. Forget her jokes, but they were good. My favorite were the hot ones. My highlights were the rooms. Yeah. The rooms were a cool look into the lives. More so than a fridge.
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Starting point is 00:22:49 Lucy products are for Adults only of legal age and every order is age verified warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical Go get you some Lucy today. Oh Dressed up today this plain shirt Wow Wow Jake how you feeling getting backlash good yeah I mean not more than normal it's been pretty consistent is there is there any support you're feeling other people reaching out to you like hey man there yeah a couple you got a couple messages about that they're enjoying it I also think people were curious to hear potentially
Starting point is 00:23:28 Prior to the two girls getting cut today or maybe after with the final three all of your favorites So who you guys like the best yeah? Yeah, so we're just but I'm saying like you guys should have like I'm rooting for blank You're giving us homework now. No, you know in real time, but they were saying you know they were curious What else top top choice was going into the the meetings minus Tina are I like Southern Bell? Do you really fumble the bag on Tina are Yeah, be good happy to be back Oh, who's the one that's that seems to win everything so far Taylor H has been the number one Yeah, she's been crushing this. That's the Red Wings girl. Red Wings quick picks
Starting point is 00:24:11 Yes, she's been she's been the front runner He's your um your mommy watching. Yeah every episode is she actually she thinks it's fucking hilarious Yeah, and they're in Italy right now on their own vacation. So they're watching it like four in the morning They're near the Pope yeah Wow did they know he just got ratioed No, actually weren't near the they're gonna find out. Yeah, they're gonna find out in about seven hours or whatever It is so does your mom know that you're just like an impossible douchebag. Oh, yeah. Does she take blame? I Mean, I guess she kinda but you get it from your father. She knows what she she she knows the deal
Starting point is 00:24:50 What do you think about this little tuft of hair you have coming? Hey, you look like an outsider. I liked it Who would your mom like to see you with? Yeah, she expressed. Oh, she she's just dying to see me with somebody yeah I've never brought a girl home my mom's whole thing was like eventually I'm just gonna show up at the house one day with like a wife and be like hey This is this is my wife or a man. Yeah, that probably isn't her big or a husband and would she be supportive if you were? Homosexual yeah, what should be surprised? Probably probably not I
Starting point is 00:25:25 Mean yeah, I don't know no she's she's into this my dad You know doesn't really get it, but my mom thinks it's very funny Would you feel like you're seeking a woman that is similar to your mom? I do love my mom yeah Wasn't the question at all so yeah, I mean that's a common. That's a common trope I would love for a woman to be like my mom's a great lady Yeah, so if there's a woman out there that has a very similar quality to my mother to be a plus She's great. Okay big fan of my mom It seems like you could have included those qualities in this search so we could have narrowed that down. Yeah
Starting point is 00:25:59 Probably right yeah Yeah, this is I mean he has a type I was telling I was telling I heard I heard Kate say too but I we are we are very very deep in now yeah it's kind of getting a little overwhelming today's certainly the point of no return yeah next time we do this you'll be looking at yep with you'll be one that is we'll be hearing you lapping up their mouth yeah I haven't I haven't kind of processed that it's getting a little It's okay. You're nervous
Starting point is 00:26:27 Intimidating and scary I'll be honest I also Don't like it at all I have this feeling of like wanting to be a good host like I want them to have a good time and like I just want them to have a good experience, and I'm afraid you're gonna ruin it. I'm afraid I'm gonna I'm worried about this like a lot. Yeah, I just want them to and then I keep reminding myself. Oh, they they voluntarily signed up to Who he is and they still continue their grown women I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna feel so bad What if I'm the prize I feel like that's I feel bad about that what?
Starting point is 00:27:11 That's the whole point. I know but it's like a let down They already know what this love you This really is the first of its kind a dating show where the prize is dogshit and the guy who is the prize is Like oh my god, please don't pick me, but I don't think I think he knows what he's doing That's gonna make them what you like you got an eight slider today. I heard that too. That's crazy Well, how do you feel about that? It's a lot of can you cut? I was gonna say can you can you reconcile for us? The drawings the people that were doing stick figures you were mad that they weren't giving enough effort and then
Starting point is 00:27:47 Yesterday the people that were giving effort you were mad that they're giving too much effort. I don't know what I want man I don't know what I don't know what your margin is like a nanometer Need something I don't know roll with something All right, I'm excited for today though. Have you been getting swarmed in public? Probably, huh? Have any girls try to enter the competition that aren't in the competition that are yes And what did you say sorry honey? No, I don't respond to those I have seen I've seen a couple sent them the link link to join But
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Starting point is 00:29:03 Find a Pardon My Cheese Steak near you and order yours now at PardonMyCheesesteak.com. Use code AWL for free delivery. All right, you ready for day five? Yes, so remind me what we're doing. We're doing Instagram Explore page. They have the breakdown of the date. Yep, and testimonials. Yep.
Starting point is 00:29:21 All right. I don't know how the testimonials is gonna go over, but we'll see. What are you looking for in a date, Malasek? That is, I don't really know if I have a list. I'm just excited to see what they've come up with. No, Jay, I'll give you $2,000 right now. It's Friday night in Chicago.
Starting point is 00:29:40 What is your mind? Where does your mind go first? I think sick, early dinner, and then some sort of event with awesome seats. Sick? All right, so you need something sick and awesome. Like, really good dinner. Really good dinner.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Restaurant. What if they say a chain? Yes or no? They say Applebee's. Ball out at Applebee's with two grand. Yeah, I mean, I feel like if you have a budget of $2,000, you would go a little more upscale. So I would do something nice for dinner, something like a fancy-ish dinner, and then some... It doesn't have to be a sporting... it could be a concert sporting, whatever.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Very cool seats for that would be my $2,000. Is there any style of cuisine that's a no-go? Probably Thai food. Yeah. That's fantastic. A lot of nuts and Thai. Oh yeah, what about soul food? Yeah, yeah, it's all about my favorite, but I would go you know
Starting point is 00:30:34 Yeah, Thai food's probably my only yeah, would you rent a boat? I was thinking about the boat this morning Yeah, but it's a little it's getting old to be a little cold But I'm trying to think what this could consist of other than restaurant sports couples massage Yeah, psychic reading you would do a couple's massage. Maybe like a job Is there did you like sky tour? Oh shoot? Would you do a photo? Yeah of Chicago? They do like a helicopter or something tour. Yeah of shopping city shopping shopping spree. Yep go to a play Second city. I'm not really a play guy now. You are not surprising Yeah Now you are. Oh, that's surprising. I would have pegged you on. Don't let him.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Alright. No, I'm a Mark guy today. That's been my favorite supply of the whole fucking week. Until he pisses me off, but I'm a Mark guy today. Instagram explore page, what if there's like, you know... What's a, I'm curious, what like a bad girl's Instagram explore page would be? I would assume... Like, what would a red flag of that be I was trying to think about like Our tool like mom talk yeah
Starting point is 00:31:33 Like I found this awesome shit on Amazon gotcha It's like a fucking thing that organizes your soda cans because the guys obviously is all like that Yeah, the guys would be if it's all boobs. what if it's a lot of like barstool employees oh that'd be also probably bad yeah yeah just all quick pics what would be what barstool employee outside of Nikki smokes would be like oh she's in deep what have had sex with or just no no no that's just like yeah, like that's in her circle of interests Hmm Mincy would be bad. What about like Lucas? Yeah, I mean
Starting point is 00:32:19 Like at that point what if she's got pictures of Doug on her phone? Oh, that's a win There are other people that have Doug group chat that I'm not Listen anybody out there that can get a Doug shot in the wild this weekend You shoot it to me. Yeah, I'll be excited big Doug Hunter Dude we should have Doug hunt this weekend whoever can find him the most It's ruin his life The exotic stock TJ I texted you the export page
Starting point is 00:33:01 Is yours gonna be it's very it's very bland. So it's all like sports gambling stuff? Yeah, it's gonna be some sports shit and movie scenes and that's that. It's very uneventful. But you're expecting these girls to be eventful? No, I'm curious, I feel like with an explore page it's really only, I'm gonna keep saying it's only potential bad. Yeah Which is so sad all right? That's right. Yeah, oh Jennifer Anniston right who's that lady right there? I got we got it's a Danny Amandola's new girlfriend Zandra
Starting point is 00:33:39 Andra they got hard launched on Dancing with the Stars All right, all right, We got LaCrosse. JJ, where are you getting all this information? That's him. That's crazy. College football. How are you so plugged into pop culture all of a sudden? Look, they got Ruckers. Gee, uh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Yeah, I mean this is pretty, it's pretty boring David Craig But it's not like even like yeah sexy no This is an ace no express anywhere on this Hmm yeah, not even a hint damn you can I suck I know All right, let's dive in. Sorry. I wish it was cooler. Shay, random order, of course.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Yep. So just so you know, a lot of the testimonials are audio. In those, everyone mentioned a name, so I had to edit them out. So there's going to be parts where it'll be like, I'm in Boucher 4, and then it's just going to go to the next word. So just be aware, it might sound a little weird at some parts
Starting point is 00:34:47 This is candidate one is the only person that put it in the body of the email, so I'll just read it I think it's gonna line up quite nicely with what Jake this ideal date is my ideal date includes these things One a really great dinner if in Chicago somewhere like girl and the goat okay to go out Go all out on tickets for a big game experience golf, baseball game, concert. Three, that if all goes well some drinks at a fun dive bar preferably one of darts or pool. I'm not sure that costs two thousand dollars but I suppose we can spend the rest on drinks and merch. Let me ask a question there Jake. Yes. She says go all out on tickets for a big experience, baseball game and concert that's obviously self-explanatory but golf does she mean
Starting point is 00:35:28 go like play 18 holes a super nice golf course what do you think she means that she probably it's like when Liv came to Chicago I would assume is like going to the golf thing I don't think she means going to a golf tournament well I don't think it like go all out on tickets then yeah, the timeline doesn't also Go to a dinner and then go play a round of golf. What's girl in the goat? It's a restaurant That sounds like a fantastic evening to West Lube Yeah, okay great great date kind of exactly what I was gonna what I said, so
Starting point is 00:36:00 Let's see her explore page Let's see her explore page Let's see man alright Okay fashion Sambas One okay, if one we had an f1 girl I forget the name, but there was an f1 girl Who's the yeah, who's the scream screaming man? Oh, that's Scotty Scheffler. Okay, golf fan the golf fan Okay, there's a shirt that won't rip whoa
Starting point is 00:36:31 Whoa, no, I don't want to assume things but Golf, what do you want to say? Taylor H was the one watching golf above the QuickPix TV? Interesting okay, so you're you're hunting for Taylor H. What about? Interesting. Okay, so you're hunting for Taylor H. What about the 2121 time in the top left? I don't like that. Oh, military time. That's a great call, Mark. Don't fuck with military time. That's a great pull.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Remember you just subtract 2. So that means what? Military or? Not 2. How do you subtract 2? European? If you subtract 2? That's international, right? European? 12. 12, right? If you subtract two, it's 1921.
Starting point is 00:37:09 It's 12. It doesn't help. Nine o'clock. 12. 21, you subtract the two off in your mind and it's nine. Oh, so you just cut the other number? 12, Kate, 12! It makes sense to me.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Waste. Don't. You subtract the two and then the 10. And then the other 10. Yeah. 12, Kate. You know what I mean. Don't you subtract the two of them in the ten and then the other will ten yeah, 12k You know what I mean. Yeah, we would I know what you know. I know it's very time Yeah, this is a good explore page. I don't like the military time, but that's a What's that quote the white the white one?
Starting point is 00:37:43 Great call out marks of Spanish. Oh Jake Maybe the military what's that thing say? Oh is that like academia? That's gotta be opportunity um core L Resego oh Opportunity So that I think that means opportunity What do you think of that core the versigo or pier day? To you
Starting point is 00:38:13 Academia that's academic all right who and millets somebody at least make an effort to tell me what that says um it is I got it. What's that teach Rga... Run the risk or miss the opportunity. You choose. Nice. Ehh. That's some motivational-ass shit. Well... Now, as a reminder, these...
Starting point is 00:38:34 pages are not necessarily... Correct. ...what they're into. Sometimes you get fed shit you don't like. All the time. So, that doesn't mean... The only negative so far has been military time. No offense, Kate.
Starting point is 00:38:43 But wait, I'm thinking she has motivational golf That's business business people are on all coasts different time zones, and so maybe she's so high-powered She's got to be on military time to know what how does that? I'll go any how does that make any sense because why would military military time in matter the normal time would also Find whatever on that, but why would military time be a problem at all are you disrespecting? Yeah, why are you like what is the it's a little oh look at me as a civilian You don't need to be using military time. I'll guarantee this person's a civilian. She could also be I think that would have listed I think the year I think other countries do this right right like Australia
Starting point is 00:39:17 What if you like went to another country for a week and was like this is who I like this ah No, I don't like it. Yeah, she did a week in Europe, and then she's like you Have you got a third time when you're back home with me? No world of t-shirts did it Kate doesn't use military time. There's no reason for her. Would you rather a girl? Have crushed boot camp or like gave up it was too hard Really good question really good question uh Probably crushed it. Quitter.
Starting point is 00:39:46 She would crush you though. Quitter is worse than... It was like hurting her tits. This boot camp really hurts my tits. Oh! I should also point out that while one woman was watching golf, another woman's truth was that she attended three or four golf games. That's a good point, Jay. It's a very good point. Okay. Couple options.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Buck. What's next? Testimonial. Testimonial. Hi. I've known her since the fourth grade. She's one of my closest friends, and I can confidently say she's one of the coolest people that I know. She has cool hobbies, she's lived in another country. There it is.
Starting point is 00:40:33 She knows a lot about a lot of things. She knows a lot of interesting, fun facts, and she's well-read, and she's super stylish. She's always someone I go to for fashion advice, because she's always wearing something iconic or super cute. And I feel like everyone just loves her from the moment they meet her. She is also a really good friend.
Starting point is 00:40:52 She's one of the people that I go to when I need to talk something out or someone I want to share good news with right away. I love hanging out with her. We have so much fun no matter what we're doing. She's positive She's kind honest and just such a good listener and she's so supportive of her friends and all of her family members, too She is literally such a gem. Well, yeah, seriously. She's awesome
Starting point is 00:41:17 I feel like this short voice memo doesn't even do her justice All of you shut up Wasn't sure no all of you shut the fuck up right now. That was beautiful No, Jake, you you hated that worse than you've hated anything all week I mean, I just so crazy that these people are doing this We're asking them to do it But it's just like holy shit At this point no you understand what it is We're in it
Starting point is 00:41:37 Okay Cool, honest I mean I feel like if I if any best friends were gonna do one of these like it's gonna sound like Her friend loves to hang out with her. She loved that bag of that best friend since fourth grade loves that girl I don't think she was reading anything. Let's think let's look at the things you actually glean. She lived in another country But yeah cool. I didn't does that explain the military time a little better. It does better I didn't love the part of when she was like oh she's such a fashionista I don't know what it was didn't didn't find that to be particularly good for some reason
Starting point is 00:42:11 you want to be dressed in rags? I don't know you fucking ass that was one thing that stood out that I didn't like I like the part where you don't want her to be experimental with her fit I like the part where people talk to her about problems that seems like someone that I like to hang out with is someone who can handle things like that. Wait! You knocked out the therapist and they won! No, but not for- if you do it for work, you're a scumbag.
Starting point is 00:42:32 She doesn't do it for work! I know that's what I'm saying! This girl does not. No, the former therapist- She did though. But maybe she saw the air- Anyways! You just said if you do it for work, you're a scumbag!
Starting point is 00:42:42 You help people for work? You're a scumbag? A scumbag! Anyway, I like overall this is a very very good submission. Am I giving a score? She said she's a former therapy! Am I giving us a score? We might, yeah you're giving us a score.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Alright, so today we'll start that at an 8.4. Very very solid submission. You fucking suck man. What do you want me to do? If you help people become a better person. What would you want me to do if you help people become a better person? Why would you be a therapist when you could be a goalie for a daily show oh? Boy all right, we for me Jay. Let's go to a girl number two. I like that a lot though
Starting point is 00:43:25 Yep, candidate to the rest are like screenshots or like PDFs or word documents, so I'll let you guys read those dates Yeah, this one has a couple of Testimonials I think TJ I believe I said one of them is best That one a lot of these a lot if you thought that testimonial is too long I think all these are at least a minute Just heads up all right sit through them because we did this to ourselves my ideal yet realistic date with Jake all right we're starting the afternoon we have cash to blow maybe we can meet at Jake's apartment so I can observe the art I will perch on the corner of the couch as we make awkward
Starting point is 00:44:00 small talk haha well this is crazy and he offers me a non-alcoholic beer I already hate this I debate I debate texting Kate to see if she wants to go to the casino put it all on black and have ourselves a night it's too late we're heading out first stop is a heli you mentioned this first stop is a helicopter tour of Chicago just a short one ten to twenty minutes two hundred and eighty dollars that seems really cheap for a private helicopter concerning only so much to see well I've always wanted to go in a helicopter the crash rate is high so there's no need to dilly-dally The Aussie she's smart unless this is a throw yeah
Starting point is 00:44:37 Time for some late afternoon drinks and starters a Mediterranean spot in West Loop we eat in silence and eavesdrop $150 we We head across to the United Center and pass the... That's the way she spelled center. Australian. ... pass our judgment of those around us at the restaurant. All those bad hinge dates that couldn't be us. We're going to a Blackhawks game against an Eastern Conference team. Seats in the lower bowl, behind the bench is $840.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Nice. We had straight to concessions to double fist some beers huge chunk of budget and head to our seats Jake is on his phone quickly checking his picks and I think about how hard it looks to play. I keep this to myself. That's funny, Jake. That is funny. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Time for a second intermission intermission drink top up. Hopefully the Blackhawks lose and we head out for a late dinner. Oh, steak time. Why would she want the Blackhawks? Maybe it's Red Wing. Maybe a couple more drinks and the night is coming to an end. Two hundred and fifty dollars. But there's always time for one more bar. Some live music. Good or bad. Time for farewells. I had so much fun tonight. A nice side hug is on the table. I pocket that she should alternatively. If I take the cash straight to Mexico on the cheapest flight not an airline snob I'm gonna lie on the beach in Tulum and spend the money on a nice Airbnb and margaritas I suppose Jake is welcome to come ice. I started off hating
Starting point is 00:46:01 Very nice that was funny very funny Yeah, very funny. What are you so your read read on it is that the Australian or is that someone that's gotta be the I don't I don't think I'm because of the love you're all center. I might be Taylor. I could be Canadian. It's a misdirection dilly-dally Center, I think she's smart And why would why would an Australian want the Blackhawks to lose? I don't know Australians what's we have what team does Australia before what's the closest to Australia the King's sharks? Tasha she did mention hockey the Australian that was a lie ah Yeah, that's true. Oh true. That's a good point. She's into it um
Starting point is 00:46:40 Why did you hate it at first? Uh she what was the start it was like? Started with a joke, and you didn't like Yeah, I didn't love the beginning joke. Whatever that was. The non-alcoholic beer? She's gonna sit there and observe the art and all that. Yeah, the first paragraph I did not like, but then it became very fun. I did enjoy that. And I liked her alternative taking the cash and having a vacation to herself.
Starting point is 00:47:00 That was fun. This was better than the first one. Alright, let's see that explore page. having a vacation to herself. That was fun. This was better than the first one. Wow. All right, let's see that explore page. Whoa. Okay, so that's some hockey there. Oh. Oh, she sent like a live.
Starting point is 00:47:16 That's a Maple Leafs. Oh, she's refreshing for us. All right. Hockey, Sabrina Carpenter. She's got one of those really good rug cleaning videos. Joe Burrow. Uh huh. Oh, she's refreshing again.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Damn. Dog. This is kind of what mine looks like. Cancer. Oh no. Porescope. Alright. Very nice.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Alright. So there you go. So far this is better than the first one. Uh, 100% charge on the phone. What's E? Oh. Where do you see that? That this is better than the first one. Uh, 100% charge on the phone? What's E? Oh, where do you see that? That's freak shit. Oh, there. I've never seen that. What even is it?
Starting point is 00:47:54 I mean, this has to be. What's the song that was playing? Sam, Sam Faire? Two People by Sam Fender? Fender. Okay. I feel like I've heard that name before. Yeah, this is, uh... Do you like the like the horoscope? There's some motivational quotes. Yep. Dogs.
Starting point is 00:48:10 I listened to Noah Khan yesterday. Yeah? Not for me. Yeah, that's not surprising, honestly. It's fine. EE is the name of a British mobile network. Oh. Was this really even Australian?
Starting point is 00:48:22 Oh, she might have just been British, and we were wait Yeah, but Australian could have no there's a chance that someone was British. They just didn't bring it up. Oh, yeah We heard we heard all the voices was that the Australian accent was Australian correct? Yeah Now I will say when the vaccine it wasn't super australian Remember not knowing it's an australian accent I will say the the big 12 vaccine girl that I fell in love with a couple years ago on tv I thought was australian fully british so that i've done all see is british. I thought that what a twist
Starting point is 00:48:55 All right All right. So now we got a testimonial We have three. Holy shit. Let's do the best one. Let's see what their accent is. Yeah, just the best one She say countries countries is that for is that like I love that that girl cunts. Yeah Alrighty cunnies I've had a few, so let's tuck in, shall we? Alright, two favourite things about her. Solid rack and just all fucking personality. Good.
Starting point is 00:49:33 That chick is funny as fuck. Also, like, the great thing about her is she will make you feel so good, but the second you step a toe out of line, she will humble you more than your fucking mother ever could let me tell you She has just a perfect way of just making one sip of wine turn into a savage night out like holy shit you will You will end up calling your mother the next morning in tears. It will just be the time of your life but you will also hate yourself the following day. Yeah, right. Sounds horrible.
Starting point is 00:50:11 And the other extreme, you can just go over, have an entertainment pack, shove a few springies in the oven and then watch a few EPs of the most fucked YouTube videos you've ever seen. And on top of that, she's also, I hate to say it, it upsets me, but she's a very good friend. She's very, very loyal and will have your back no matter what. Yeah. All right, we won't say anything, your thoughts. I, that dropped her down.
Starting point is 00:50:43 I think a lot of what she- That sounded awesome. I thought that was amazing. What she enjoys. I don't think that I can keep up She started off a solid wreck I know but I'm saying the whole like going crazy and you want to kill yourself the next morning I understand, but I just I know that I can't keep up with that lifestyle, and that's a lifestyle I don't want to drag out of somebody too aggressive No, the humbling thing didn't bother me. It was more of like the
Starting point is 00:51:07 It didn't sound like she was a chiller. She seemed more of like an outgoing she's a bit much a bit rager That's a good way to put it a bit much I like the first two things better than the first girl the testimonial. I thought dragged her down a little bit Wow And I'm good. I think I think that kind of puts them a little on par with each other. I would give this girl the slight nod To the first one put this in an 8.6 right above girl number one But I think that there is room for lower and room for higher and in both in both ways all right What about any charm to like the Australian banter style I do like the Australians I think they're very funny you said you
Starting point is 00:51:47 prefer an introvert would any extrovert for you be considered a bit much no but it's like that whole thing of like you you have one glass of wine and then you wake up and you want to die what if you're what if you guys bring out the best in each other what if what if she's like pulling you out of the house a little bit more and I'm raining her back trying to rain her back yeah and. Yeah, and that's why I guess yeah, but their chill night is Having a pack throwing some spring ease in the oven and watching YouTube which fucked up YouTube. I don't know what those two things are at all What about this crazy idea that she was probably just exaggerating maybe?
Starting point is 00:52:19 Nah, you want to hear another one. I'll either are there that. She has a background. That's another Australian, yes. Yeah, I mean, I guess we have- if we have time. We got nothing but time. We certainly do. We have time. Alright, guess play there a second. The reasons to date are, firstly, her sense of humor. She's honestly one of the funniest people I know.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Always having a giggle, always having a laugh, sending us the funniest things. Really just like ripping into people online too which is so entertaining. We love it, we love to hate even if the jokes are at your expense it's out of love, she does it out of love. Secondly, definitely she's such a good cook, like she'll just whip things up out of nowhere even if it's just you know a little simple breakfast I can guarantee it'll taste like a thousand times better than what you would have made. So that's
Starting point is 00:53:15 definitely a big positive. I think another reason today is that she has like a good balance in her personality so like she loves to go out and meet people and travel, have a good time. And you know, it's always down to go and do fun things. But at the same time, she is a little bit of a homebody in that sense. And she does also love to just lie and relax, you know, watch some TikToks, a little movie or a TV show,
Starting point is 00:53:44 you know, do a little crossword, read a book. So I feel like she has a really good well-rounded personality 8.9 Wow There it is we needed that yep That was good. I was worried when she said she likes going out and doing fun things she'd be Accenture it's a cheat code. I fucked with the accents. It was a little extra, wasn't it? The accents are such a cheat code. I do like the Australian accent. It's very fun. You could have a giggle with her, you think? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Have a laugh, as they say. Have a, yeah. Yeah, that was good. 8.9. Wow. Very solid. All right. Thank you, Abby J.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Let's, who's next? All right, candidate three. Buckle up. Okay. Got a good one. Ooh. For the date, BJ, if you will. Holy fuck. This is so insane. Is that Toronto? Yeah. First impressions, please, off the bat. Toronto, Canada, which is funny. This is like
Starting point is 00:54:36 very much effort, which I mean at this point, fuck it, I like it. The overview. the overview All right, let's do it Okay, go into Toronto. She's got the date. I fuck with Toronto to I've been Toronto for overnight Great game $2,000 tickets to the no I think that's the overview the total that's spent the May okay, yeah main activity is red wings versus maple leaves night very good game Going to game in Toronto is definitely up there on my list. I think I would like to do Okay, okay, she's good. She's got the flight costs mm-hmm damn. I'm sure broke the shit. Oh, so she does live in Detroit all right So we're looking oh, she's looking at Taylor H. Here. This is she's got a joke from airplane. I
Starting point is 00:55:32 Don't know if I've seen the movie, but she's flying from Detroit. You're flying from Chicago. Is this uh? Don't call me Shirley. Yeah, nice Nice Early dinner being late to start being late to sporting events as a pet peeve as is mine at hoops sports bar and grill Why it's casual? Adjacent to the arena and they make her favorite goat cheese salad. Oh Okay, very nice game red Maybe leaves why original six matchup Friday night hockey hits different in Canada sure does $417 per ticket center ice thanks game time nice estimated snacks drink price $50 cool, and then she has a link Oh
Starting point is 00:56:36 Tried your best and you failed miserably Nice like that funny Did you guys are familiar with that are you familiar? I've never seen that Postgame Duke's refresher bar postgame drinks mini-basketball well pinball ping-pong pool arcade games 65 bucks that seems low seems low that bar looks great mini basketball court looks fucking awesome Damn, this is the Airbnb adjacent to the arena two beds Yeah, use of the CN to add a girl oh That's that's nice. What's a nice night? Damn. This looks fucking sweet the next day
Starting point is 00:57:22 Cozy comfy bundled up morning, since we'll fly home in the afternoon. Oh, she's clinging. Quick breakfast. Ha ha ha ha! Quick breakfast at Aviva, as we take down a nice fall stroll, oh, down to the waterfront.
Starting point is 00:57:37 You spend the morning, people and boat watching at the Toronto Music Garden. We say our goodbyes at the airport, and both make it home for Primetime College Football breakfast price $30. Wow. Strong. Strong.
Starting point is 00:57:52 This is pretty good. This is really fucking good. Now Jake, would that be a really fun? That would be a great 24 hours. Sounds awesome. You know what's amazing? If she makes it and wins and takes the money, you know what could have been
Starting point is 00:58:05 True that is true. Yeah, yeah, wow yeah, that was really good. I want to do that. I know Really good. Yeah soon that sounds like a blast I Might do that ever been to turn. Yeah, we all see each other at the game. Hey Okay, that was really good. Let's get to the I made me want to text Pat and be like let's have a date Like the pictures that was very strong. Let's go to the the test now before yeah before you test too much effort though No, that was I mean at that point at this point, okay I'm kind of it on the eye you're not we're all right. We're five days making sure just making sure fuck it Really good
Starting point is 00:58:48 Food strong. Yep, really strong food and Sabrina carpenter. Yep. I like both those things food So she's refreshing nice on a dessert. Yeah, this is really good Workout oh Fuck workout and A lot of desserts. Yeah, this is really good. A lot of sports food. A lot of hockey. Some workout. Oh, a little fitness. Fuck. Workout and a messy bun. Yeah, this is really good. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:59:14 You love this? Yeah, this is really good. Nothing bad here. No. I'm thoroughly impressed by this. Food and workout's a good combination. So she's got balance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Now, what if the testimonials from just the most Canadian sounding dude you've ever heard? Like a chick with memes? Yeah, I mean, that'd be very fun to. This is my testimonial for I think I'm qualified to give this assessment since her and I have been friends since middle school and we live together in college. Um and I have traveled all over the place together and there's no one else that I have more fun with when we go on vacations. We've traveled to Final Four basketball, we've done a few NHL road trips, and most recently
Starting point is 00:59:56 we went to Hawaii over the summer. Our friends kind of joke that we should call her tour guide Barbie because she plans amazing vacations and we kind of all just are there and along for the ride Truly though there's no one else in my life that I have more fun with her that makes me laugh harder than she's a true Rider die friend and I feel really lucky that I've gotten to spend so much of my life with her as a best friend Wow Emotion this is so sweet that just like really with her as a best friend. Wow. Oh. He's a really nice person. This is kind of emotional. I know, this is so sweet. That just like really, you know, it, it confirms how real it is.
Starting point is 01:00:32 I've been looking inward. Uh, nobody would ever say that about me. Fuck, man. I'll also say too, planner people, like trip planner people, they help you find the nooks and crannies of places that you would never see normally, but I got their shit together Yeah, they got it together. These are real human. Yeah, that's what I'm not I don't think I realized that until about this is real now now. You know how real it is. Yeah, fuck Not to the now no are over planners a thing like no I was I love that I don't know Disneyland with Jeff D. Lo sounds like a nightmare
Starting point is 01:01:08 To the minute I would rather you be to the second than have no plan. I would love I no plan No, I don't like a rainer. Oh stress me out and do it. I need to know I needed no you like reservations here this For you you do Brandon can't shake his own not I'm usually that guy. Are you what? Yeah, you falling for it I mean, she's been our best. Yeah every day every day. What more does she need to do? That was the best one. Yeah, I mean this is like a nine six Score of the week awesome submission. I'm just picturing Jake's mom going, Oh, yay!
Starting point is 01:01:47 Honey, come see this. Yeah. Yeah, 9-6. Really good. Wow. Really, really good. And if she turns out to be ugly, how devastated would it be? Would it be a real shame?
Starting point is 01:01:56 Oh! Like, what do you want me to do? All that good will, he just built up. It would be a real shame. That would suck. Would it be a real shame? What do you want me to say? Like, you- That's part of it! Would you be like, really mad? That's- no, I wouldn't be mad, but do you say like you that's part of it be like really mad? That's not wouldn't be mad, but I'd like damn
Starting point is 01:02:10 That sucks, you know What would you like me to say? Okay, I want anybody anybody. I want you to say what you feel This room we're still gonna laugh at you, but I want you to say that's true. That is a true statement. It'd be a real shame I don't know what you just started to feel everything washed away 9.6 all right
Starting point is 01:02:45 I have the best seat in the house I just been watching Kate This is awesome. I don't even think what I said was that bad. It would be a shame. That's true Okay, you wouldn't like say that you walked in What you can act to a level that would hide yes I'm not gonna be like you But like what if there are tens across the board based off their prompts and they're like a five on the look scale Do they still get bumped up to like a seven or is just you're completely out? Well, I do I think with a lot of these things with the relationship aspect of my life a lot a big part of it And I feel like that goes for many people is physical attraction. Absolutely, right?
Starting point is 01:03:23 So that but like You like we just don't want this to be I agree I agree. I hope it's not that'd be a real real And I mean I guess a part of it's their fault for like feigning as a hot chick yeah Like yeah, they misled you why? Why? But I like honestly it is it would be betrayal on there. Yeah, yeah, it's really fucked up on there Girls are supposed to be cool You like cool stuff bitch I Feel like that that was a pretty reasonable response for me there okay yeah that's the problem sure also out of ten what do you rate yourself me like a
Starting point is 01:04:15 high seven low eight probably being reasonable. Okay eyebrows. Yeah Why'd you pluralize that? Well, thank you Taylor it's that was very lovely and I never said her name we know we know okay All right number four and it eight or you want to hit an ad before yeah, let me do I'm sure you've heard us talk about Mendo whole body deodorant at this point. You can use it on your whole body Yes, your whole body is the dermatologist tested and gentle on all your bits. It controls odor for 72 hours and that is clinically proven. You can choose from four cologne quality scents or unscented if you want to get stealthy. Ready to make the upgrade to Mando? They've
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Starting point is 01:05:40 that equates over 40% off your Starter Pack. Use code YAC as shopmando.com that's s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o dot com once again use code yak at shopmando.com. Alright Che number four. Alright number four they sent like a iPhone notes thing so brand if you could just narrate it. I will just narrate it. Thank you very much Jake I'm sure my Is your number one priority since you're letting me choose how we spend this two thousand dollars so sweet as we know I always go Above and beyond so I've got a few options option one. We pick a blackhawks game
Starting point is 01:06:24 They're all trying to be the hockey girl, by the way. Okay, we pick a Blackhawks game, sit on the glass, chirp a little banter a little tell you it doesn't even look that hard. And I could totally do that. I'll have a hot dog and you can have whatever your allergies permit. Sounds fun. She's making you laugh man. Option two, we asked Big Cat if we can use his season tickets for a game. We split the money 1,000, 1,000,
Starting point is 01:06:45 and make bets during the game. Person on top at the end of the game buys drinks at a dive bar after. I won't blow the spot and name it in advance, but one of my faves. Number three, we let everyone on the Yak do a date option wheel and let the wheel decide, question mark.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Yes. Solid. You like that? Yeah, solid. I mean, these are all good. Yeah, all of them want to go to a hockey game. Huh. Yes. Solid. You like that? Yeah, solid. These are I mean these are all good. Yeah, I don't even want to go to a hockey game. Yeah. I like hockey. I said yeah, I like hockey. I'm a hockey guy. Yeah, you do. You do make that note. So, maybe they're trying to cater to you. I was gonna I'm gonna guess this is our southern
Starting point is 01:07:19 bell. Okay. That's my guess. What what makes that guess? I don't know. That's just my guess. Let's uh hear what her friends have to say. No, no, it's a sport page Let's see the Explorer. Yes Oh, I was right she didn't submit one. Sorry that nope she did send it that must be my error Let me let me grab it What if what if one of the girls it sounds like it sounds like none of them do but what if one of the girls? Didn't even have Instagram Gotta be a plus right that's is that is that alarming to you and your generation I?
Starting point is 01:07:51 Know people say that that's like a green flag But I've it's that seems weird to me having no social media feels like a weird thing in this day and age Yeah, I think best-case scenario is they just don't have a lot of follow right like 2,000 followers Don't post a lot of follow right like 2,000 followers don't post Under a thousand for sure no, it's like there's a sweet spot Anything under five is probably I don't that is so many people no you think what's the sweet spot? It's like one to five One to five thousand that range yeah, that means they're like actively doing yeah, yeah, you're a big rain
Starting point is 01:08:25 You're a person on there, but you also you that's somebody who is professionally on the internet no disagree Yeah, I you're no I feel I feel like a general good-looking chick will fall into 1,500 yeah, what are their private? Yeah, they gotta be private private Yeah, private profile private with 1500 is crazy Oh, you think I mean maybe that maybe it's obviously be not I don't know. I don't this is why I brought it up I don't think so I brought it up. I think one to five nowadays is like pretty standard What if it turns out one of these gals is like an influencer? The for what what if she has ten thousand like blackhawks or the hockey?
Starting point is 01:09:03 Okay, yeah, or the nanny a lot of nannies do like or the cook the chef She's a chef like what she's got like no having a passion because she's ugly Can you stop would you would you rather have? 30 zero would you rather have 33,000 followers or zero? Posts oh zero followers, but posts. Yeah, that's bad. That's real bad. She posted bikini pic with four likes You guys are bad people What do we have from her do we have the testimony already or the other one there we go oh New girl Jennings Jennings nice nice
Starting point is 01:09:43 Porsche Oh espresso martini Was one of the girls vice Frank a very funny clip from new girl hockey. Oh a cat wearing a cute outfit a white man typical Hey, yeah, this is this is good. Oh a DHD. They're saying hide the bottom right picture. Oh away This is these are solid man damn these are good damn that's Ken Jennings fucking up. Yeah, it was awesome Yeah, very funny fucked up. Yeah fucked up and he probably he's pissed Good okay good and solid haven't seen one that I've hated.
Starting point is 01:10:25 Alright. Testimonial. So it looks like I have a text conversation, I have a sorority testimonial, and I have an audio file. What do you mean sorority testimonial? I am fascinated. So there's one that's audio and there's two ones that you can see that are brief. I would recommend showing all of them. The audio one is a little bit longer
Starting point is 01:10:46 Yeah, give us what you got How's it going? Yak fellas guy friend, but pause love what you guys do Jake hate that Go on could be your brother go on I'm curious honor to be here brother go on I'm curious honor to be here I'm honored to be advocating who is as you guys properly assumed a real-life southern belle you know that southern charm is as real as it gets there's no turning that off the thank you kindly is the blessed the oh my lances like that's part of her vocabulary every day it It's shocking.
Starting point is 01:11:25 As someone who, you know, is from a little outside of Philly, I did not think that that type of human being existed. That that type of kindness and compassion and empathy... Sounds like he knows her inside out. ...existed, but he didn't exist. She's just good people. And that's what you get like personality looks
Starting point is 01:11:51 Sports knowledge this guy's a little this dude's objecting at your wet. This is brutal I'm just gonna sit with you at the bar man. He's they should be together And you're not gonna have to worry about her She's gonna fall in love with him after this had of hurt We're almost Please take care of her So promise me you won't you don't have to worry about that. She knows her football. She knows her baseball God bless this man she knows you're cooking too, that's not like a Misogynist thing, but she knows her way around the kitchen
Starting point is 01:12:27 Just something to keep in mind And on top of all that SEC right so that's a different type of speed that SEC speed like that Just another thing to keep in mind, you know, you're getting you're getting an absolute five-star athlete Wow on top of us. So If I were you Jake, you know, I think you're in a pretty good position here One thing I will say is you know, that accent is also real. That's as real as it gets In the Aussie. I have my own suspicions about What's being portrayed with that accent, whether it's real or whether it's fake. Oh shit!
Starting point is 01:13:12 Negative puny little mudslinging. Yeah, I love it. Juicy. You know, that's all I got. Don't fuck this up. And wipe your ass, man. This guy. man this guy so imagine this guy he's singing the praises and she's like text him and he's probably lights up oh she texts me hey I have a question yeah but I think it's deep I think that's his friend's I was a listener that volunteered the far more likely scenarios that's the boyfriend ah funny easy this is fun he's a YAK listener.
Starting point is 01:13:45 He's a mega YAK fan. Yeah, you should... Who found this girl to be the stand-in for... Holy shit. Right. Yeah. It's like a catfish, kind of. Filiris scumbag.
Starting point is 01:13:53 I believe that. That feels more like it. I think... He's gonna try to come with her when she comes here. Yeah. He prob... They probably are best friends. He got...
Starting point is 01:14:02 He watches the YAK. He's like, yeah, we should watch it together. And then... This is a nightmare for him. Nightmare. Probably our best friends he got he watches the yakis like yeah, we should watch it together This is a nightmare for him nightmare a nightmare you can hear yes damn But it I mean you do know this the southern bail and you do know you you like what's the what was the sorority thing TJ oh? My god a group message Alright You want it Nick yeah sure From the sorority group message, primary author, Sydney J. Alright, let me tell you about
Starting point is 01:14:31 Blank. She's the type of girl who can do it all. Wanna hit up a concert, the bar, a rodeo, or any sporting event? She's in. Whether you're coming or not, because that's in. She's that independent. Because she's that independent. She's down for anything. Whether it's that independent. She's down for anything. Whether it's traveling solo across the world or chilling at home with a movie marathon and some perfectly homemade snacks,
Starting point is 01:14:51 Blank is equally happy sipping an espresso martini, any tequila based cocktail, or just cracking open a cold brewski. If you're doing anything related to football, baseball, soccer, hockey, she's not just along for the ride, she's got the stats, the passion, the energy
Starting point is 01:15:05 to make it a blast. Oh. And those antlers on her wall table. Yeah. Shot her in the ear. She's got a pretty solid shot, coupled with a super cute and well-trained hunting pup. Those are expensive, Jack.
Starting point is 01:15:18 So maybe keep that in mind if you ever end up in an argument with her. I joke, I joke, kind of. But she's more than just a fun and adventurous, oh, but she's more than just fun and adventurous. Blank. The most loyal and caring friend you'll ever have. She always puts others ahead of herself, and when you need her she's there. She's also wicked smart and resourceful. You could drop her in the middle of nowhere and she'd not only survive, but she'd make friends with the locals, have the time of her life, and then want to take you next time.
Starting point is 01:15:55 In a nutshell, Blank is the ultimate blend of fun, fierce independence and unwavering loyalty with just the right amount of delightful chaos thrown in. She's not only always ready for an adventure, but also brings a genuine love and support to everyone around her. If you want someone who keeps life exciting while having your back every step of the way, she's the one you want by your side.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Beautiful. All right, what didn't you like? No, nothing. This is, I mean, solid, very, very good. It was a guy testimonial.. This is I mean solid very very good It was a guy testimonial the guy. I mean I felt bad his testimonial was great. Yes. I feel bad just yeah Yeah, there is dating her and what if all of you? What if he's or he's in love with that girl? What if he like you as a homosexual? gay friend like you There it is marks. What is what I mean? What is that?
Starting point is 01:16:44 Like you there it is there it is marks. What is what notes? I mean what? Have gay friends you gay guys exist in Philly. Yeah, it's just oh, yeah It's comparing the gay guy to you is not what if what if it's a it's a gay friend What she's like oh, that was my gay friend. He's not gay. Yeah, I wish they had Claire friend would know what you like the voice wasn't gay What if there's no way not with that voice what if he used to like tangle with her? But he was the one who's a tango tango tango, but he was the one who's like I'm gonna keep fucking around Yeah, of course I smashed but like we're cool now this guy didn't smash No, he was this is here the voice. I've never felt worse for somebody If a girl was Danny as a single man if a girl that you were into was like,
Starting point is 01:17:27 hey Danny, can you put in a good word for me with this guy? No, I'd kill myself. You'd say no. I would kill myself. Yeah, definitely not. No, no chance. Well that's where you would do it, hoping that when she was listening to what you wrote, she'd be like, wait a minute. It was you the whole time a minute you're like no one else this is the start of their story right what if he's not actually in her because she's ugly I hate you so much number four nine point five wow really good oh that guy had just punched a hole in wall really really good also submitted this hey guys remember that time I parallel parked the large SUV perfectly with both of you in the car yeah I remember the time you squeezed in a spot beside it at Ed's Tavern an icon thank you it was so smooth that's good
Starting point is 01:18:13 parallel park yeah that's a good skill good skill I can't remember so what did you like about it to make it a nine-five I like the date I like the jokes I know that you know a man clearly likes her which is a plus She's desired He's right Yeah, nine five really good. I still think I like the Toronto Detroit hockey game a little bit better, but that was a very very solid strong entry all right so she's in right yeah I guess those two are probably in those two are in I guess we have one more rest there's find out if this one's gonna be in or who's in third right now the first girl eight eight
Starting point is 01:18:58 eight eight eight let's do this one and then I'll type it's hers it's pretty close Wow you don't have to tabulate them. He just said the scores. Oh, are we doing yesterday's too? I'll give you, once we finish, I'll give you the recap of today's scores and then what the average was for each person for the week. Sounds good. Alright, here we go. Number five. Canada Five. Yeah, they included all the stuff so you can just read it all. This is getting very real.
Starting point is 01:19:22 Alright, $2,000 date breakdown. Pre-game warm up. Drinks at an outdoor bar or patio, $100. A second bar or patio, $100. A drink with Kate, $30. Ubers, $50. Kate doesn't do just one drink. Yeah. No.
Starting point is 01:19:42 It's also very practical. She factored in the Ubers for the cost of this thing. Are we getting hammered at the first two bars? 100 bucks a bar is a lot of money. Hockey game. Two tickets on the glass, three to four hundred dollars each. Drinks two hundred dollars. You're getting hammered. Holy shit! Arena food, one hundred and fifty.
Starting point is 01:19:58 She doesn't know what things cost. Hot dog outside, arena twenty dollars. Another Uber, fifty dollars. Dinner and nightcap, nice steak dinner and wine $400 nightcap 100 dinner after the game. I'm I'm hungover by wait a second. This could be Attractiveness wise a good sign that she doesn't know how much drinks cost Good none of these make any sense. Yeah, what if she was like a Miller Lite 648? Good. None of these make any sense. Yeah, what if she was like a Miller Lite 648?
Starting point is 01:20:23 Like, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Uh, no, all of that made no sense. This is pretty basic and standard, though.
Starting point is 01:20:30 I mean, and it's a pregame bar. Dinner after the game is bad, I think. The other girl had dinner after the game, I think. No, it was our first post-game dinner. $100 nightcap. Yeah, are we getting wasted? $150 of game food yeah what you're not gonna be hungry when you get to dinner I'm saying like what's even the point of
Starting point is 01:20:50 that seems like 20 drinks yeah this could get out I mean you did have to spend two thousand dollars sure maybe she's yeah I'll say too when you spend two thousand dollars like if I had just money to blow to go to a fancy cocktail bar and get the fanciest shit just like have a few sips of each like fucking every thousand dollars. And it's not your money. Do you feel bad that $200 on drinks for him and she only allocated $30 for a drink with you? Well she definitely needs a drink more if she's with Jake. Right, right and I think it would just be like a one-off like Kate's there the entire time but she has a little breakaway.
Starting point is 01:21:21 Also we have to remember this is a special day not a casual night out. Would you be down to get hammered? I would like to enjoy it as much as possible not answer So I don't I don't think getting you know sloppy blackout drunk is a good way to enjoy something I feel like that's more of like you're going to some shitty bar. You're having did okay Did all five throw hockey in there? I think so a lot of hockey. Yeah a lot of hockey How many of those are real do you think? I don't care. Maybe we- This many girls don't like hockey. He doesn't talk about it. But I like hockey.
Starting point is 01:21:51 100% of girls wanted the hockey. I think girls do like hockey. Yeah, they're into it. Yeah. Girls can like whatever they want. Sure, sure can. I don't really know. Thank you, Nick. Sure can. Took me a long time to get to that point what are you zooming in on oh are you wearing a hockey sweatshirt hockey sweatshirt okay yeah Kate likes hockey this wasn't just a sweatshirt I stole months ago I care about it I champions are not the money breakdown kind of threw me off on that one but I don't like the dinner after the game.
Starting point is 01:22:26 I think there's no point to do that. The champions is a great nickname for a team. If you haven't spent the Washington champions. What if the game's at four o'clock on Saturday? So like, oh, I guess so, matinee. Yeah, there's no guarantee the game's at Friday night at seven. True, very true. All right, what's the IG thing for this one?
Starting point is 01:22:44 Oh. Who's that guy? I don't know, he's ugly as fuck for this one? Oh. Who's that guy? I don't know, he's ugly as fuck. A lot of guys. Whoa. Are those pancakes or burgers? You're refreshing for us. Channing Tatum is gambit.
Starting point is 01:22:57 Oh, Guy Fallen's always funny. Dogs. Dogs. Country music talk right? Is that Kesney Jenney? Yep. No. Kesney Jenney. I love him. Kesney Jenney falling down. Dogs country music has any Jenny
Starting point is 01:23:15 That was Diggs talk Disney chair no no red flags looks like it's Parker McCollum So what's he doing on those bleachers anyway? Yeah, I should have been doing that. All right, don't get a lot here. No, but no red flags. OK. Solemn. All right, and now the testimonial. Oh, what does that say?
Starting point is 01:23:37 You're trying to get me to read that. There's no chance. It's some like alpha meme where a guy gets asked for a name. Yeah, the guy says, license and registration. And he says, I got a bigger mustache than him's for him. Yeah, it's license and registration And he says I got a bigger mustache than him you think you could write me a ticket a mustache meme in this day and age Well, he has a huge must it is big thick Yeah, you can't deny that Yep
Starting point is 01:24:01 It's up. I'm Dan one of those family friends. She's best friends with one of my cousins. I've known her for about 15 years. We've done a bunch of family vacations and holidays together. And now whenever we go out, it's always a great time. But she'll also make sure everyone's okay. If I'm clearly too fucked up, she'll take me home, make sure I'm tucked in on the couch. Then I'll wake up at 2 a.m., having no idea where I am.
Starting point is 01:24:28 But I'll see my phone plugged in next to me with a text from Erica saying, you're in my apartment, my things to your left, extra toothbrush in there, feel free to spend the night. But I went back out the bars. And that's Erica. She's always down for a night of the week whether it's Monday night football, Thursday night football, to watch an Indian ping-pong match that she
Starting point is 01:24:51 bet on whatever it is you can go anywhere in the world and it's always a great time with her anybody would be lucky to have her by your side so make sure you're always taken care of and you'll have a great time no matter what you do. All right, no idea who it is. It could be anybody. My fault, my fault. This game is close to showtime. I should have heard it back. Could be anybody. God bless these men.
Starting point is 01:25:14 I'll say one thing. Close-knit family friend groups that go and do fun stuff together, that's like built-in fun. Yep. That's just your life. Yes. I don't have that. It's great. I don't have that. I don't have that at all. No, me either. And it's fun. Then you got that. I don't have a single one of my cousins phone numbers. I got two.
Starting point is 01:25:34 Alright. What do you think? She's kind of like a degen. Yeah, the betting on the Indian ping pong negative. You would do that. No, I wouldn't. OK, sorry. Does another testimonial from a guy make you revisit the first one? Yeah, this one was better than the first one. Desensitizes it. But does it, yeah, like does it, does the first, now that we revisit the first one, does it make it less of a shock?
Starting point is 01:25:58 I like to preface a family friend. It sounds like an older guy. Yeah, but she did. Whereas the first guy didn't really establish who he was. She did tuck him in But she made a point or he made a point to big on the couch like he that was set on purpose And a girl treating you like that like a little baby is not let me consult the sheet. Let's see
Starting point is 01:26:15 What's what's looking at my notes one second? You know that I know who this you need to know the number to get her into the top three well No, I'm looking at the the. Now that I've gotten the information, I'm going to use it. You're cheating. Yes, 100%. It's fine. She's been high all week.
Starting point is 01:26:30 She has been high all week. Yeah. But what's funny is I probably would have put her low based on this application. So now that I know the information, that's kind of throwing me in a little bit of a pickle here. So what are you going to do? You going to force her in there?
Starting point is 01:26:41 I don't know what to do. OK, well, pride in. Steven, are we doing a cumulative score from yesterday and today? Or are we doing just today's score? Well, you said we were not. We said clean slate. Clean slate. So here's what we can do. I mean, the two top scores or the two top cumulative scores, I think almost no matter
Starting point is 01:26:55 what. Okay. Wow. So for the third, I'll leave it up to you guys. Like, do you want to do it just today or cumulative? Because it's going to be very close. Are they cumulative? Cumulative. Okay, so yeah, if we've got the two that are standing out and we got one spot for three people.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Let's make it over the whole week. All right. So then I'm going to give this girl an 8.7 and let's see what the numbers are. Okay. And that puts her right in line right in the middle. Yep. So the final three are yeah, man. That's drama right there.
Starting point is 01:27:20 Hi, change. All right. So first place moving on to the finals. No big Taylor H. Yeah, Taylor had nine point six today nine point one three overall Very strong. Yep Taylor ham in a roll In second place both today and overall With a nine five today, 8.53 overall. I'm doing even weighted for everything. Southern Bell Mason.
Starting point is 01:27:50 Southern Bell, yep. And then this is super close. So today, candidate two got an 8.9. Their overall cumulative score, 8.9 their overall cumulative score 8.35 okay with this now 8.7 candidate 5 finishes with an 8.45 which would give them the nod okay what about the other girl the other one had an 8.4 cumulative score 7.. So the last girl we just saw well Erica Erica is number three. Yep Wow Erica Kay Taylor H and Mason E final three those are our final
Starting point is 01:28:34 three Aussie got home Aussie goes Aussie goes home. I loved Abby J. If I know Abby J like I think I do she'll have a giggle over this She's a proper cut Alright so the final three Abbey J and Mary M. Was it Mary am I getting that right? Mary M was on the Wow, she was the first girl we saw all week. Yeah. Wow. So to be honest, this makes things actually a little bit easier. And again, I apologize. That was an omission on my part with the names. I got attendance
Starting point is 01:29:15 for sure. Don't apologize, Jay. You've done a really good job. That's really good. Thank you, Jay. But this makes it easier because, and we just found this out the other day, people said they could all be in Chicago. I did find out the other day that Abby J does live in London. That would have been a problem. That would have been a big problem. She said she could be here. Wow!
Starting point is 01:29:38 Oh man! She said she thought the fridge gave it away because we called out the British. Yeah Celsius a lot of British Yeah, yes, then yes the EE thing. I guess gave it away, so you guys were correct in that But yeah everyone here. Oh Well, let's not finally. We'll do it next week. We're working on a scheduling thing right now, but it's It'll be either earlier kind of late next week, but we can do next week
Starting point is 01:30:16 Well, I mean people schedules and stuff like that watch me wow Find out about this Australian every person in that group yeah For her Abby J Wow much love no congrats to all the ladies for making yes Thank you to everybody work at it crazy Next week in person, but we have a big three big three update It looks like Monday will probably work and update
Starting point is 01:30:46 I guess who we now know is Mason Dan nominated her for this is a former co-worker Not my boyfriend or even boyfriend adjacent just a huge yak so is she was she previously a yak fan at all or? Did she just learn of all of this? I'm not sure I can inquire about that. Well we can find all this out next week. I guess we could. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:08 I guess we could. Hey Donnie. Hey Donnie. Oh Donnie what's up? Oh good. Can I see the two eliminated? Yeah. Please?
Starting point is 01:31:14 Yeah. Of course. Plot twist, we've brought in a guy that you ladies actually do want to see. Yeah, the real pro. This is Donnie. Jake get up. Get out of the chair. The most desirable man of Barstool now.
Starting point is 01:31:24 Have you find someone yet They're coming in a hurry. Okay. All right, Donnie. Why don't you say in French mind if I crash this dating show? Do a shirtless I Didn't mean the crash sorry no no no I was talking about I texted on you to come in I was talking about his video. They put out. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah It is it is like nerve-racking I was so stressed. Yeah, yes you watching him back It's even stressful even though I know ever like how it turned out But uh yeah, they uh the team that helped like Trent who edited that crushed
Starting point is 01:32:03 That's the best like what most produced video I've been a part of and it it shows he did a great job And it was really cool to see like the whole summer come out as like a one-hour documentary So I'm very happy with how it came out. Yeah, watch that. That's great. Yeah, I didn't realize you admitted to like when you told me like they got deported it kind of like Yeah, I mean laughing about I was you were laughing, but I didn't realize, it's a crime. Is it? I don't know. Yeah!
Starting point is 01:32:29 I don't know if it's a crime. Sneaking people into the country for work? Well, they weren't supposed to, look, they were supposed to come just visit and hang out and they were gonna happen to cook and I was gonna happen to pay them under the table. It's very common in like the, especially in France and in the cooking community abroad, just to work in the black and you and you get you know so it's not like that crazy of a thing
Starting point is 01:32:49 But it looks I guess it looks a little worse than Visas were they're hard to get I didn't have time you didn't have time and so they were stuck at the airport for a little While yeah one guy spent there's a jail cell in the airport I feel really bad his only experience with America was getting here getting questioned and getting home, and spending the night in jail in O'Hare. Not the best look. Have you talked to them since? Yeah, yeah. We're good.
Starting point is 01:33:12 I mean, they knew coming in the plan, and then the first... So what happened, they both came in on different flights. The first guy landed at like noon, and both their English is not great, so I think they tried to say they were visiting, and they made the mistake of bringing their knives and their chef coats It's like you can't they trap It's very hard to say I'm just here to visit when you have like a whole set of kitchen tools And then the first guy cracked pretty quick
Starting point is 01:33:36 I think and then the second guy had no chance he came in but he the second guy never cracked Did you ever get called from like the air? Yeah, they called me twice and they're like they I never cracked did you ever get called from like the air? Yeah, they called me twice, and they're like they Like deportation customs they were calling I think the chip verify story And I missed that call and then they called again saying hey your buddies going home I was like what do you mean? Why they're like? I think you know I like fuck like yeah There's nothing I could do at that point. Yeah, but it worked out I mean it's a guy made for a more interesting documentary a a lot more stress, but it worked out, yeah. It was, I mean, the whole thing came,
Starting point is 01:34:08 like the reason we couldn't get visas too is because I never wasn't planning on opening this. The idea, I wanted to do like a small wine bar, just not really any food, and then Carmen, my business partner, was like, well, we have this third floor we're not using, like why don't you just do a whole restaurant? And within two months, I was like, fuck,
Starting point is 01:34:24 I can't really say no to that the opportunity So yeah, it came together not like it wasn't it was never a plan of mine That's why you as you can see in the documentary. I'm not really sure what I'm doing most of the time But you know yeah, I recommend to watch it's really yeah. Well. Thank you guys Yeah, if you could check that out that that would mean a lot and all the guys worked really hard on it So it's on your YouTube. Thank you. Yeah, it's on my YouTube just at chef Donnie all right Thanks guys. Jake. Good luck I say the food was really good, too
Starting point is 01:34:49 I feel whatever those little potatoes the matchstick potatoes on the other potatoes Think about that all the time. I just had to add that anecdotes people know I'm a good person But it was like you demanded. I couldn't give a reservation. I couldn't get one either I went with Caitlin and Paige and we did the wine flight and we got all the court, it was very nice, it was great. Caitlin got one you couldn't get? It was packed, the restaurant was totally full. It was great.
Starting point is 01:35:13 Shut up, Jake. You nailed it. The French guy's just like, come on, I always travel with knives. Anywhere I make a case. Oh man. What a week. What a fun week.
Starting point is 01:35:24 It was. And it all comes to a climax. Next week, what a week. What a fun week. Yeah, this is and it all comes to a climax Next week early next week or late Yeah, could be late used to fucking say high noon It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the high noon end zone pack is here It includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit The high noon end zone pack is a fall, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find the next tailgate pack near you.
Starting point is 01:35:50 Why were you staring at me during that? I have no idea. I think I just turned and looked at you for a brief second, and then you looked at me as I was looking at you. So it felt like a stare, but it wasn't a stare. Okay, I felt it. No, but I think... Maybe that new energy or...
Starting point is 01:36:03 Oh, yeah. It's glowing. Yeah. I felt it. No, but I think that new energy or oh, yeah, that's glowing Yeah Operations let's keep it down. Sorry. Have you guys thought about what we're doing next week or no? Um, I will think about it. I have a pretty good idea of how we're gonna do it. Yeah Yeah, did you want to say it? I think cuz big cats gonna be here. Yeah, I think and he doesn't know anything that's happened Yeah, so I think you go into a separate room Jake Mm-hmm, and then we
Starting point is 01:36:29 Showcase girl one her journey so far bring her in Allow the yak to talk to her question her see how she's feeling Yeah Send her out do that with a second girl send her out do that with a third girl Then bring you in and then without knowing who's who we bring the three girls in and then allow you to do kind of some one-on-one questioning. Love it. Cool. I really like that. Yeah. So wait Jake's first time meeting them will be all three at once? I think we do that. I think the best way to do it is he doesn't know which girl. I feel like that's gonna be pretty obvious though once we get
Starting point is 01:37:02 down. One will have a southern accent. So much info that I'm just gonna be able to kind of just like decipher yep she'll be overwhelmed when you see all three and I'll be fucked yeah that's what it's all about and we can't we can't use the gymnasium right not until much later in the week okay so there's therefore so will they be isolated from us when they talk one-on-one or what maybe we we leave. I don't know if we leave Maybe we just sit here. Just watch the date We'll put up three chairs there, one chair here Yeah, we have Chef Donnie come out and then you just have some wine. Would you like some booze?
Starting point is 01:37:36 I'm three on one. And what about we give you some cue cards and you don't look at them until That moment. Yes, we write some prompts for you. Okay. Yeah, I like that I want this as much out of my hands as possible sure yeah, yeah perfect. We can do that awesome It looks like it'll probably be Tuesday, okay? But if we can't do the gym Well Tuesday Tuesday will work better because we'll have to we'll have to apprise big cat of everything that happened Anyway, Monday recap you want to Right, perfect. Yeah, Monday recap. Do you wanna watch the trailer?
Starting point is 01:38:06 Yeah. Yes, of course. I kinda wanna see it too. Holy shit. ["Spring Day"] Huh. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:38:48 Ha ha. Wow. I got goosebumps. That was really good. Holy shit, man. Wow. I would just like to say, mainly for the people watching as well, but I understand that this was definitely not the normal programming that you're used to seeing. I appreciate it if you were a fan and watched. And I'm sorry if it was not to your liking. You're making it weird now.
Starting point is 01:39:09 But I appreciate being here and doing all this and that was a lot of fun. You are a guinea pig. Once this gets sold, we're gonna have Connor Griffin. Good, that's the main event. Mackenzie is begging to be the next person. Mackenzie wants to do it so bad. She wants to do it really bad.
Starting point is 01:39:21 Really? Take that happen. And that would be good on her part. I don't know that we need to bring a lot of dudes in here I would love to see who comes out of the woodwork. Yeah, I would yeah You know what I guess we're gonna fucking crew we should do it. I want to show one thousand guys So many applications gets rid of a hundred a day Don't know if I'm a kid I don't want to have her heartbroken correct the guys show up Yeah, a lot of ulterior motives. What's your name Mackenzie? Where's the cat?
Starting point is 01:39:55 Pizza guy work here Say Jay you want to spin the wheel all right watch quick pics today, please We don't got enough time. QuickPix is one of my favorite graphics. One quick note on the final scores. Had Balasac given Erika, who is candidate five, an 8.3, Abby J. would have moved on. In 8.4, she would have cleared and made the finals by a hair.
Starting point is 01:40:21 But 8.7 was the difference. Wow. Wow. A hair. It's a game of ventures.7 was the difference. Wow. Wow. A hair. It's a game of inches. I've always said that. Che got his hands on a little bit of data and just had to ring that for everything it's got.
Starting point is 01:40:31 Go ahead. All right. Wow, misshapen wheel. Yeah. You don't see a lot of these. It's a rarity. All right. I think we've got the weekend, and then Monday we'll recap Big Cat, and we'll
Starting point is 01:40:48 dive right back into the recap. Yeah, we'll come to a conclusion Tuesday, then back to our regularly scheduled... Oh, fuck, DJ. Oh, shit. Oh, god. You're putting him in the dirt. Oh, no. People saying this is bad mojo for rockers tonight.
Starting point is 01:41:03 God's never been our side Wait the Pope uses hashtags hashtag apolistic journey who else has done that? Huh just just the Pope At Pontifex is a cool asset All all right we'll see you guys all right Have a great weekend everybody. And go Scarlet Knights tonight. Love you bye. See you Monday.

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