The Yak - Malasek Might've Made a Mistake | The Yak 9-26-24
Episode Date: September 26, 2024You look comfortable and able to walkYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/bars...toolyak
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Yep. Happy new pants day to you yeah yeah I'm so
fucking over the short stays and seeing my fucking south groin and my upskirts
every time I look forward yeah so it's pants season are you going full pants
from now on it's 82 degrees yeah that's where I'm at like I'm with you but yeah
I don't have that once Once I go pants, you
can't go back. I went pants twice Monday and Tuesday and I
went back pretty quickly. So yeah, I think I don't want to.
I don't want to flip flop. I want to when it's pants. It's
pants. No pants. You aren't flip flops. I don't got a
rotation though like that like I got like you don't have a
rotation of pants. I will never wear these again. Don't like
the way they look. They look big. They look too. They're
thick on you big. Yeah look too big on you.
Did you...the first time you put them on was this morning?
Yes.
Did you make a sound when you saw yourself?
No, I was like alright.
Where did you get them? How do you go about buying them?
How did you peel those pants?
Window shopping? Was this a targeted item?
I did a big spree of fall shit.
A lot of Abercrombie. They have some nice stuff these days.
Or like, I think it's nice.
You look good.
What's that worth?
Just take the pants off then if you don't like them.
Nah, they're fine.
I think Chef Donny's gonna swing by, talk about the really good video he dropped yesterday.
Episode 1 of opening his restaurant
He was trying to sneak Frenchmen into the country to work illegally. Yeah, and then he was like fuck this
This is bullshit they nabbed me like
Did he get close to succeeding or they made it to O'Hare and they were in O'Hare for 10 hours
I guess and had to be sent back
He was stressing
So I remember when it happened. I was like, holy shit
That would suck for them. It's for the best. I don't want any more French people. No
around
Petit fromage.
Go on.
Oui oui.
That's all I got.
Le petit fromage, is that a?
Nick fuck.
Nick fuck.
What is it?
Is that?
Nick cool.
Nick cool is what?
Fuck ass.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If anybody, if a Frenchman says I'm cool, just they're gonna call me a Fuck ass. Yeah. If anybody a Frenchman says I'm cool.
Would just they're Tucker call me a fuck ass.
Chay has the sniffles. Yeah. Chay is Oh my god. Oh, you're
hamming it up. Fuck the open mouth breathe the red nose.
mouth breathe the red nose. What are you? Why? This is my zoom background. We that's not what we're saying. Why? I thought
that was real. Are you you're sick? I'm sick. Yeah. How? Why
didn't you pass off the responsibilities to TJ or
somebody else? Why are you doing this sick? I I was gonna check with Conor if you do it, but he has a responsibility this whole
week and can't do it. So yeah, I mean, I'm going to be cutting social stuff. I can just
queue up the people and I'm keeping score and all that. So I'm fine to do that. I shouldn't
really be around people at this moment. yeah you sound bad I'm I have a
cold right now and I I'm not gonna miss hanging out with my loved ones day four
and let's uh I mean the homage of the background is fine everything but it
kind of makes you look fat Jay no it doesn't make you it's a bad angle I don't
really have like a desk I did the we agree it was making it look fat it was
making him look like a bad angle There you go No, it looks better. It looks better. It might be puffy
You think there's any chance you ever get fat Steve?
Uh, I've gotten up to like 218. I think I'm like my good weights around like 200 if I get over 205
It's not great. So
Yeah, pretty good chance, but hopefully it doesn't get to that point. Outside of me, I think I have pretty good self-control once I get gross looking.
Outside of me, because I'm already there, who would be the funniest person in this room to get fat?
I was fat before, yeah.
I was fat-ish.
I mean, Fat Kyle would be fat.
But I think it would be really sad, because he used to, I mean...
Fat you would be good.
Yeah, I could get there
And his legs stay the same that was that's what would happen. That's what would happen. I'd look like a Salvador Dali
You guys use face app no, I don't it's fun. Do you make yourself like a hunk you can make yourself?
Whatever like it's you know fat a little fat really fat
Bald so all the layers of fat do we think it's, you know, fat, a little fat, really fat, bald.
So all the layers are fat.
Do we think it's accurate?
You gotta pay for it though, if you wanna do that.
Do you think it's accurate?
Like if you think you've actually got fat,
you know, like that? It looks super real,
I don't know how accurate it is.
Do you have to pay for it?
Yeah, to really have fun.
Cause I'm doing something for operation synthesis
that I think I'm going to need.
Oh yeah, you're starting operation synthesis.
Yeah.
How'd you know? What do you have prepared so far? I don't know what to need. Oh yeah, you're starting Operation Synthesis. Yeah. How'd you know?
What do you have prepared so far?
I don't know what it's gonna be yet.
I just have the name, but.
It's a good start.
That sounds cool.
Yeah, thank you.
I thought of the name and I was like,
I gotta start Operation Synthesis.
And so I think tomorrow will be day one.
Okay, I like Operation Synthesis.
Yeah.
And don't reveal too much.
I won't.
I won't.
I won't. I won't. But I want everybody to be locked in. I was talking to Polari, we don't reveal too much. I won't
But I want everybody to be locked in I was talking to Polari we're gonna have some merch
For operation synthesis. Yes. Yeah
I'm excited for operation synthesis. Yeah, stop stop. I don't want to let any I don't want anybody figure out what it is. Yeah
spoilers
Man all right twin anchor ribs oh okay I took them last night but you had them because
they're not smothered in sauce yes they
bring out the sauce you brush on her
said it I said it's fine I say like
barbecue meat fantastic how did you but
they weren't that they weren't the
highlight of the damn meal oh what was
we did a three horse carousel of chips
with blue cheese, that chunky blue,
cream spinach dip, and chili.
And it worked.
We got one bowl of chili, five spoons.
When I'm at the peak of my cold.
So sorry to Jeff D' Lowe Tommy and Rudy and
Kyle
Twingers good. I saw y'all leaving last night and you said do you want to go and I really wanted to go
But I have now become obsessed with my new lifestyle of being in bed by 9 and up by 430
Yeah, and I I'm like trapped. I'm in a whirlpool. I cannot get out of it. You watching sunrise this morning
I'm seeing sunrise like some some are you watching it? Yeah, but some sun's not rising until I'm like in Chicago
Okay, it's I'm driving in dark. What do you Jacko Wilkins? Why are you waking up so early?
The the bodybuilder guy David Goggins, maybe you'll get that I guess
The bodybuilder guy, David Goggins, maybe you'll get that. I guess it's not in your TikTok algorithm.
Every morning he posts this watch on his Instagram.
He's a Navy SEAL.
You're only waking up at 3.30?
All right.
That's way too late.
So this morning I woke up at like two and I said,
you know what, I'm gonna sleep in today
and I'm gonna set my alarm at six.
And at 4.30 my mind just went, nope, you're getting up.
You have to get up.
But are you enjoying this?
I enjoy, no, I don't enjoy it, I have to get up. But are you enjoying this? I enjoy...
No, I don't enjoy it. I have to do it.
My body is just doing it.
If I'm up past 9 o'clock, my mind says,
get the fuck in the bed.
Do you think you could reset that schedule?
I don't know. I've lived my whole life
where I've always had to fight to get up early.
I've always had to try to get up early.
And I've always overslept so many times and now, now I'm under sleeping and I'm obsessed with getting here
at like 6 30. I got here at 6 15 this morning. Oh that means you're not depressed.
I'm not depressed. I feel good. You're excited to live. Yeah. You should hop on operation synthesis
with me. I think it would help you especially. Am I already doing some of it?
Am I? You have like some hints. Okay, alright. You know what? Put me down for
Operation Synthesis. Alright, we'll have you do a video with me next week. Yeah,
cuz we're gonna see how many days I can do it. What are you doing to replace the
walks now that a meteor has hit our basketball court? I don't think you're
allowed to say basketball court. Mark, I'm still doing the walks. You're doing it. I'm
I'm sneaking around this place. I'm still doing the walks.
Yeah, that's all I'll say. The walks are the walks are
getting in. It's nice knowing you. The walks are getting
in. I'm I'm I'm still active and doing my 45 minute walk
every day but I can't do my 45 minute walk every day.
But I can't do any of the weights or anything.
That's on the other side.
Because when I get home, I have to eat and go to bed.
I don't have time to do the weights.
How?
It's probably pretty bad.
What time do you have dinner?
I get home about 4.30 or five.
So I have dinner about 4.30 or five.
It's ready for you?
It's waiting for me when I get home.
Hot? Yeah. What if it's not what about the dinner
yeah what if it's not it's always hot okay and it chill she'll text me what
time you get home? And I'll
say today 630. So it'll be hot at 630. If I tell her five,
it'll be hot at five. So she's she's she's on her P's and Q's.
I'm the dude who like I don't like hot food. So I put it in
the fridge. I don't like hot drinks. 10 minutes. You know,
really no hot food. When it's too hot, I like to devour. Okay.
With no stopping. So I don't wanna.
I get that frustration when something's too hot.
My tongue burns.
And you know it's gonna taste good,
but you have to wait a little bit.
That is a sucky feeling.
You ever eat something when you know
it's gonna burn the fuck out of your mouth,
but you can't stop?
Yeah, man.
All the time.
I've done that so many times.
And then even you go back for a second bite
even after the first burn.
Yeah.
I've done that a lot. I never feel more like an animal yeah, yeah, yeah every frozen pizza ever yeah, yeah
Can't stop I feel like an animal when I when I go to get like a leftover
And it's in the fridge, and I could heat it up in the microwave for a minute
I don't I go right oh, but I'm so hungry
I just grab a spoon or a fork and I just grab it. That's when I feel like an animal that yeah
When I don't even heat it up can't wait you like the cold. Do you make it to the table?
I just don't like are you standing next to the fridge? I'm standing next to the fridge. Yeah, that was yeah
That's what I thought you ever been so junky like a buffalo chicken dip with your bare hands. I
Have like an ass I'm stuff like that with my bare hands. Yeah, that's animal to it's like a raccoon like I've eaten soup with
My bare hands, yeah. That's animal too, it's like raccoon-like. I've eaten soup with my bare hands.
What?
Maybe not the broth part, but I'll just reach in
and grab a noodle.
The potatoes or the, you know, if it's like a stew,
potatoes, the beef, yeah, I'll go get what I need.
He's just going, both hands.
Just throw the soup in the air and run under it.
That would be a funny, yeah, a hibachi soup chef.
He'd just throw it and catch it.
Day one through three of this dating show have been pretty good.
I've been enjoying myself.
Yeah.
It's time to bring it back down.
You think so?
Let's have a bad episode.
Yeah, you're right.
We can't go four for four.
Yeah.
We're not each row.
So, um.
I want it to never end.
I just want to.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I don't want it, like, to even reveal the women. I want them to keep doing prompts and just want I yeah, that's what I was thinking I don't want it like to even reveal the women I want them to keep doing prompts and I want to see
September and if we do like a you know, maybe one a quarter
But like malicec is so perfect like I'm trying to think of somebody Connor Griffin
He would be the opposite of malicec. I think Connor Griffin would be the exact opposite right would compliment every woman
Yeah, those would be devastated being sent home though like I
feel I don't know he would not sit yeah he went to the home he date all of them
yeah lucky and I think does on the weddings he goes to he just fucks them
all yeah I can't break any of it yeah it'd be the opposite of the meme with
the girl on the couch and all the big black guys behind her Well shit, but it's Connor. I'll tell you what TJ you're single. Why don't we do it with you?
We have fun and so what do we got today again as a reminder is uh
Best fit yeah on the ground not on round
Best fit yeah on the ground not on ground
Let's fit Spotify wrapped Chad is saying we should do a saw dating show next
Would you be down or now that's a rum it's her arm. I'll sign up all good. Yeah, and
Then a recommended video or meme
Oh, I can't wait to see the video. Don we know if everyone obliged. Shea are you still there?
Yeah See sure is he drinking off?
Did every every lady obliged with the?
with the homework
Yes
Okay, have they said anything else and do any of them off this wild ride
No, I am
Assembling like next step so we are in the process of getting the testimonials for Friday
You've been getting potential graphics made for next week. We have to decide like what exactly that looks like
I have an intro video for the like for next week. It's it's unreal. Oh my god
So so nerdy gallo, uh hello shout out Gallo
The option of the winner of going on a date with malice occur the $2,000 cash
I think is is good because it incentivizes them to keep doing this this homework that that you know gives them a reason to keep participating
right
But do any of us truly believe that any of these women are gonna pick Malisek?
That's what I'm worried about now.
As we arrive at this point in time, you think they will check?
I think, Jay, you've interacted with them the most. Are they about this man?
Yes, there are a couple that I think will choose a $1000 date with him.
Oh, that's great then. That's great. I was worried about that. Are we gonna get to a point where like all these women just fucking hate him and are like
Yeah, duh. I'm taking the money cuz there would be no suspense
That would be a fun fucking day what even date is that I mean you're sitting I mean yeah, I could take a helicopter ride and
Go really really nice dinner
helicopter show Blow ride and go really really nice dinner, show, front row show, blow.
First row of a wrestling event.
Yeah, show and blow.
Show and blow.
Should we make the cash closer to the date or should it be exactly double?
So it's a $1000 date, should it be $1500 cash so it's a thousand dollar date should be fifteen hundred cash, so it's a little closer Or yeah, that's what I was thinking that too like I'm trying because if you do less the less cash you do the more
The girls are gonna be like well fuck it this is our state but well how much you also a price tag on a good fuck
Oh, what if it's this what if it's just it's a straight question
Do you want to go with Jake or not? It's a thousand dollars cash or a thousand dollar date with Jake Mallis. Wait can we?
or not it's a thousand dollars cash or a thousand dollar date with Jake Malasek wait can we design the date so they know what they're in for like a Wheel of
Fortune kind of show we want to leave that up to Malasek is there is the date
gonna be part of the content or is that that they're gonna go they have to go on
dates as part of the content but the grand prize is like an actual let's do a two thousand five star restaurant thousand cash prize yeah
That's just big cats money. Yeah. Yeah, okay sure yeah, do they have five-star restaurants?
I just said that is that way to describe a restaurant of five stars the highest right?
I went when do you when do you so Michelin is just one?
But you can get Michelin up to yeah, no there's five there's four
There's their star. What is that afraid?
If I said a five-star restaurant is that makes it yeah, we know what you're talking about five stars the really good brand of binder
Right. Oh
Yeah, great. That's why I need five shoes. Are you think I'm talking about a binder restaurant? I'm not
I wasn't what I wanted food not this three ring. They still have Trapper Keepers when y'all came through?
That was a brand, but I don't know.
Yeah.
All right.
The girls had the least amount of folders.
My kids don't have Trapper Keepers,
and I used to have all kind of Trapper Keepers.
I don't know why you call it that.
That seems like a really fancy name for a very simple thing.
It's not a simple thing.
Well, it's just all it is is a notebook with a Velcro strap
on the top of it.
Yeah.
Kyle, what you thinking?
I'm excited for this.
All right, Malicek, get on in here.
Get his ass in here.
Play the Vince McMahon.
Come on out.
Kate, have you been in contact with any of the women?
Yes, I've heard from one of them.
I've gotten DMs from one of them.
Do you have plans?
I don't want to out them, because they're still in it.
But yes, I think we're going to try and meet up.
By the way, speaking of Connor Griffin,
yesterday we get done with the show,
and he's grinning from ear to ear.
And I was like, what's up, Connor?
And he's like, I looked up the girl with the fat juicies.
And he's like, I was curious the girl with the fat juices He's like I'm so he goes I was curious and I
Know he's like I looked it up and I found her and I was like and then what he's like
I was curious that he was photoshopping her fj's onto mini fig princess Leia
Every girl that malice like fumbles. I think Connor's just gonna be right there to scoop. Hey, I'm so
That's Reaganomics, baby
Trickle down juices
Hey, Jake, how are you good?
Only style the shirt you have yeah, that's all right
I guess they're nice just curious my laundry my washing machine fucks up a lot of my clothes, so how I?
Cleaned out the middle of it, so now it should be fine, but it's been getting some smudges on my
smudges yes, but
Jake where's your headspace today compared to the past few days or in general?
kind of even keel
I am I think the fridges were kind of a letdown because they were all kind of the same
But I think today will be
More on our own a lot are with the rooms. I think
So we'll see what would you do with a $2,000 date? I guess it would depend on the person
So if it was one of the people that was into the sporting events
So you could do something fun, you know
Like a very good seats at a sporting event into a dinner or something like that along those lines.
What if she was a Disney fan,
would you fly her to Disney World?
2,000 bucks is not fly to Disney World kind of money,
is it?
No.
The tickets.
Two tickets to...
Two tickets and a flight?
Let's say it is.
What's that drive?
That's a long ass drive.
To Orlando?
Jogger Ride. You can fly. Take the Amtrak. You have time. Yeah, That's a long ass drive to Orlando ride. You can fly take the Amtrak you have time
She was Disney girl, would you take her to Disney?
Probably not to be honest not you're not a Disney guy. I'm not okay with Disney girl be a
Yeah, probably
Have you not seen any are you not I'm a movies guy
But like the the park seems like a lot people that are adults that go there for fun I'm not a fan of.
So if she's a Disney adult she's out.
Yeah.
Alright yeah.
But like what if she only likes one Disney movie?
What if she likes Snow White and the Dwarves?
But like Happy was her number one priority?
Fuck off.
See this is...
You think that's funny Brandon? I You think that's funny, Brandon?
I do think that's funny.
Because it was funny.
I brought up my fucking high school...worst high school friends.
Oh, don't...don't people do that.
And now we're gonna make fun of you for it.
We talked about his cancer for 20 minutes yesterday.
Yeah.
I can't believe they bought that.
No, this should be fun. I'm excited for fits Spotify and video. What's the most?
You said this will be more revealing like the rooms
What do you think reveals the most out of these three categories the funny video you think that oh, that's not the music
Yes, yes, yes the music what what you would send to somebody styles important, too
These are the three most important things sense of humor style and music are we resetting the points are at zero the points
We're at zero the points are at zero
But are you afraid to send home somebody that will not rushing?
What if it's in home number one that would be a shame, but I out of my hands all right music
Is there any genre that is?
Absolutely no no what about screamo musician
It's I think my big worry would be because Spotify wrapped is like your most listened to artists and songs
I think it would be a big worry if all of them were the same person that would be a red flag
Well, that was possible. I know eyes or booze
Yeah, but like top 1% of plies fan
So I'm looking for some variety so if all 11 have the same you just you know, I'm looking for some variety. So if all 11 have the same, you think it's a red flag for all 11?
No, I'm saying if your top five songs are all one artist.
Oh, you want the girl to...
I want some variety in the mix.
I thought they were sharing artists.
I sent it to TJ.
Oh, you did?
Okay, good.
It was kind of lame.
I didn't know...
It didn't give me my artist.
It only gave me my top five songs.
What video would you recommend? I gave you a video as well. well so everything did you do a fit? I'm wearing the fit
I hope this is pretty much what I wear all the time. Come on. That's your best fit
Well, no, but this is what I had all this is where all we ask them
Yes, but fading men your it would be basically this with no graphic. I'd be a blank gray t-shirt
Where'd you send it to? I emailed it to you yesterday If you need me to recent I will recent
I'm excited to see if any of these videos like is it gonna be stuff
We've all seen before are we gonna get some deep cuts that we've never you know what the possibilities around it
Have you have you heard from any of the girls you have not?
That was my 2023 all right everything my life house Brazil by Declan McKenna and my dream
Live like we're dying what And live like we're dying. What's live like we're dying is everything all right? That's it easy Well, he was a second American. I think he won American Idol
Is it bad that life house is the only one I know on this list so that one's I think that's normal the
One is from a movie that I said was from one of the spider-man movie that I saw I played that for fucking weeks
So somebody help me with what Brazil is that's a decent song country in
South America and then yeah, I go through phases where I listen to the same song. These are these are like you listen to like
fucking
Cole's music yes
This I'm waiting in line. Yeah, you listen to town center me. Oh, yeah
Every town center has this on the loop, dude
Town center me. Yeah every town center has this on the loop dude
Yeah, I'll go through phases where I'll listen to one song for like two weeks straight And then I'll never listen to it again, but that's how they get up on the list
This is that that is a crazy music taste that is very very vanilla is life house still making new music
Do life house the only time I've listened to life house is like when I'm looking through
already circled highlights picture fine
Donest waiting room the life house one was yeah. Oh, yeah, this guy the guy before me found the wishbone
But like my 2024
Top five or whatever will be drastically different than that top five
Just because of what like I've experienced throughout the year like the life house song is from I watched smallville for the first time
And that was like one of the big songs in the show and I've found it in the show and I listened to
It for like a month. You're like a guitarist musician. I wouldn't be expecting more. I play that on the guitar great song
I would just I would expect a little I'm oh we should have had him bring
I mean, oh yeah, you should sing every girl the guy who has nothing in his fridge and nothing on his walls
Listening to a lot of life house
You're just shopping in Walgreens saying shazam
All the time I know one Walgreens
Guy hanging by a moment
There you go over puts on the weather change
Halfway gone girl over puts on the weather change halfway gone
You and me is their biggest one, right? You were definitely playing that in eighth grade. I think hanging by a moment
You and me is good too though
Kyle used to hold me to that raw clowning for life house
If I was listening to life house, I always have a contingency plan if a tick-tock or comes up and says what do you listen I always have a break in case of emergency
Listen to bail a fleck in the flesh
Not life house life out shine down. That's a life house deep cut some good shit in there. It's not even a single
Just like a a non life house hit
Sometimes good by the second chance. That's shine down another another banger band
Yeah, that's
What's your funny video? Yeah, what's your video TJ? If you want to play that?
Like all of a sudden I'd be trying to prove that I'm not crazy when I knew I wasn't crazy
That's fucking funny. I like that. That's fucking funny fuck you. You don't think that's funny. That's is that a real clip
No, that's why I like it There's a bench of Piero one as well that they do the same thing, but I find that's fucking funny fuck you if you don't think that's funny. That's is that a real clip No, that's why I like it
There's a bench of Piero one as well that they do the same thing, but I find that very funny all right
And you take that to a chip that's some shit
I would send to somebody that I that's something you don't send to a girl that I don't think they would find funny well
I think you sent me the wrong video
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All right, so that's your you're wearing wearing the outfit. OK, so now we have.
These are new pants, by the way.
We have the gals.
So are Kyle's.
You got new pants?
Yeah, me too.
Nice, I like them.
Those are just standard jeans.
I don't think new jeans are worth a new pants announcement.
Depends on if they're sick ass jeans.
Well, all I got was I keep getting
yelled at for wearing the same pair of pants every day.
But they look like the same pair.
They are.
They're actually the exact same pair of pants.
So they're not new pants. But they're're brand new i think i would look great in those
jeans you want to switch those are honestly those are like the mom jeans of my dreams
that's what i've been going for it comfy as hell yeah they're great they're a banana
oh delightful much better than mine is a banana republic a country with one export no it's uh
it's a it's a fake government.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
I never heard that as a term.
It's like people claim America right now is a Banana Republic
because we've implanted our politicians.
But I thought, OK, what's the similarity?
Small nations, especially, depending on one crop
or influx of foreign capital.
So you're just wrong.
That's not right.
That is right.
Confuse it with a sitting duck?
That's not right.
Then why would he have known that?
But that's not right. OK. That's not right? Yeah. I'll take the L on this one. The internet? That is right. He's it with a sitting duck. That's not right then why would he have known that but that's not right? Okay, not right. Yeah, I'll take the L on the internet. That is right. I don't believe it's a huge tyrannial
Jake yeah there it is oh
That's more of what it is the the Google answer without having to click on the link at the top
That's like sacred. That's always yeah, that's the answer that you believe that's the fucking and I don't think that's correct I
Know we had the banana wars
Back in the day. What are the banana wars we like went into Central America a bunch and like meddled
Oh
Olympic meddled it was like a real thing my great-grandfather was part of that
On one and slip or banana do we still? Yeah. How do you want to actually fight on one and slip? Or banana? Do we
still medal like we used to? I know we. Oh, I bet we do. I
know we medal. I know we medal. We're doing it right now. We
be meddling. But everybody's meddling. Yeah. I think our
history meddling is even bigger than our meddling right now.
You wouldn't find out about our meddling right now. We probably
just got better at meddling. We're doing it in the open. I'm
not gonna get political. All right. Good. Yeah. That would
ruin this dating show
Yeah, that would be that sets over the head to be the next prompt
Are you voting for right now in a lighter? No, what is your religion?
Che you're still there
Yeah, I'm gonna just do that every 10 minutes
Do you have any particular order for these ladies?
Yes, we've anonymized them and randomized them.
So there is no particular order.
Well, I think that's kind of a good question.
Yeah, actually, the particular order is that it's random.
Yeah.
All right, let me do an ad,
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All right, Jay. Hello.
All right. So why don't we just, I mean, just show, TJ can just show candidate one So why don't we just I mean just show TJ could just show candidate one
I don't know what order you want to do outfit or Spotify first, but so let's go
I think I think we're going I think we go outfit. Yeah music and with the video
Everybody agree. Yep. Yeah, I like that exactly what I was gonna say order Brandon like it
All right, I don't need to say because you said it. Thank you
Pat on the shin from Nick.
That bitch is out.
That's a cozy bitch with petite little feet.
Occupy small feet.
Golly.
Oh, she got the earrings, the necklace.
I can't believe they're doing this.
This is crazy.
Looks like someone just vanished.
That's what happens when Shaggy runs away from the game.
Yeah.
She's a ball fan.
She's a ball fan.
Yep.
Avengers Endgame.
Is that a vintage crew?
Do you think she likes Iowa, or do you think that's just
she likes the sweatshirt?
It's hard to tell.
2007 Alamo Bowl.
That's kind of a deep cut, no?
Yeah.
I would assume it is.
Well, you're the?
I don't know anything about 2007,
but it's a 17-year-old ball game. You forgot the Alamo Bowl? This is. Oh, you're the I don't know anything about 2007. It's a 17 year old ball game.
You forgot the alamo bowl?
This is a comfy cozy outfit respect. I actually this is probably a plus. Where are you going with this outfit though?
This is like a lounge on the couch. I would agree. It does look like a plus. The socks are kids socks, right?
I'm not taking her anywhere in that. No, but like I would assume that's not what she would wear
Like to a thing. Can we use those those I think that's what she is saying
No, but we didn't say date outfit. We said would you let her wear that would you let her wear that to the bar?
I don't like the word let her
Now that's a little too revealing. I don't like that
Mm-hmm, how would you come in with this was perfect for a day of lounging? Yeah, okay good lounge fit
solid solid solid
The socks are standing upright. Yeah, she took a lot of effort for her to do that. How do they're starched?
Those are the Grinch's. Oh, those are like a little above the ankle. Okay, gotcha
Medium medium size medium face. This is a solid lounge fit, you know
And that's also our favorite outfit.
So what she wants to do is lounge.
She sure likes to lounge.
Very nice.
And she has very well kept floors, it looks like.
We're learning.
All right.
Out of 10.
Pretty solid start.
Yeah, pretty solid.
OK.
So now we do her spotter.
Wait, I think we do them all separate.
So he doesn't know what's bunched with what.
So we see them all bunched together at the end.
You think it's going to be easy for Che to keep up with
that I don't care hey what he said just do all the outfits and then do all the
Spotify I think we keep them together yeah I kind of agree I think it's easier
to it would just be kind of cool I think to see at the end like this outfit
with that music oh is that possible that's it's possible I think that's
making it way more confusing
Yeah, right. I was thinking of behind the scenes. I think I think yeah, yeah, all right
You're wrong
Your method would stretch it out more yeah, no, let's burn through it. Let's do it
All right, Jake say solid give her 75 and let's move on
All right, what's solid give her 75 and let's move on All right, what's our Spotify rap
Taylor Swift says a Brian Miley Cyrus a lot of this yeah
No life out standard as it gets standard as it gets but look at the minutes comparison. Uh-huh
Does it get my art standard as it gets but look at the minutes comparison? Uh-huh?
Wow that's a great call out Nick
5025 long is that I'm gonna figure that out right now
She also has a much larger catalog than everyone else right really more songs to listen to oh you're saying Taylor Yeah, yeah, she's got way more bangers than the rest of us she that's 83 hours then Bieber she has two of the
same songs now for every song cuz a Taylor's version 83 hours of Taylor
Swift how do you feel about Taylor's wow and this is indifferent over a year yeah
23 it's 2023 is uh numbers okay well that's 13 minutes a day of Taylor Swift. I am indifferent on three and a half days out of the year
You will spend is that?
I feel like for a lot of women Taylor Swift. You know how you keep the office on is like your comfort show
Yeah, I feel like Taylor Swift is women's comfort. Okay, white noise
Oh, very white very white. Yeah, they're Caucasian noise. Yes
White noise oh, very white very white. Yeah, they're caucasian noise. Yes
Description so she's I give us give us something more about the other artists. What do you think? I'm a big Bieber guy I like Zach brian
Like Miley, I'm not a sys aficionado. I don't know ton of her songs
Oh, she should be careful her hot song is I just killed my ex. Oh really? Oh yeah. But this is uh this is kind of uh
what I would if I were to have to imagine what a girl's top five would look like this is what it
would look like. Now say something negative about this top five. It's a lot of Taylor Swift.
It's a lot. I'll make I'll jump to an assumption about the girl.
Um. Iowa and Taylor Swift she's probably white probably
No, I mean this is so far very
five
Very five very five very five very across the board, but here's the kicker because I think the video can push somebody
I totally agree. Totally agree. You did say that's you're most
That's a few more very important. So she's very fine right now very fine right now nothing special nothing bad
I think that's the lower end of Taylor Swift that you're gonna see really I think might be yeah
I think do you think there's any girl that's not gonna have Taylor Swift as our number one? No
Oh, do you think we'll get five digits of Taylor Swift minutes?
Yes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, five you're saying yeah 10,000. Oh, yeah, we could do 10,000
Yeah, probably there's yeah, 10,000. Oh, yeah, we could do 10,000. Yeah, probably there's there's 10,000
Well, what at 2,000?
5,000 if you see if you see one that doesn't have Taylor Swift in there five was that raise them up that is interesting
I think it does raise them up not because I hate Taylor Swift just because that's a out of the ordinary
Because they're not like those other girls exactly
You really have a monopoly on music like that that she would just on white girls right girls top five
Yeah, I'm going to a Taylor Swift drag brunch on Sunday. I don't even listen to Taylor Swift
People in drag singing Taylor Swift songs
They're singing it yeah
Just think I just say we're just gonna drag Taylor Swift the whole show
Yeah, that's what you think I just they were just gonna drag Taylor Swift the whole show
To although drag race is like the straightest thing and gayest
Ru Paul's drag race and Rand Paul's drag race
Rand Paul's drag race be so sick so Holy shit, that's fast
All right, let's see your video this is big
Probably you know the the one that's like the most memeable lyric is the the when your legs don't work like
They used to before and that came my my my gran
Had lost her ability to walk
And the song was basically written about
That's funny. That's good. That's fun. I like that. I like that. That's funny Are you funny? That was a big laugh. Are you a big laugher like that?
Are you know, yes, it's funny. All right, we need we have to know where the line is that that's good
That was fun. There's no right or wrong answer to this. Is it would you prefer to have seen the video?
Is that a bigger plus to you?
Are you saying if have I already previously seen yeah? Yeah, would that oh we have the same interest
No, probably wouldn't care honestly, but that was funny. I I would enjoy getting sent that what do you what do you reply to that?
I probably haha that yeah, and then I would probably
Send something back that I that is related to that. Maybe would you ever lol? No, he I lol sometimes he's an
LMAO guy. Ha ha ha ha ha. One of those four ha's Yeah. Two
ha ha's is lame. I mean, I didn't find it funny. What's
what's one? Ha? You're pissed. That's like, why did you even
send that? And three is perfect. Three is three is an appropriate an appropriate ha ha ha ha ha four to five is like I found that very funny
I think I'm a two guy exclusively then yeah, you're yeah, I think your age group. Yeah
Has like more legit like my dad lol is great. That's the top right every ha cost a nickel and when I first got
Every hot cost a nickel and when I first got my oh, yeah
We had to really stretch those things out. All right, so that first one Iowa Taylor Swift
Funny video that's gonna be a 6 8 6 8 6 8
And now you don't know you might have just doomed one of your favorites or you know, correct who knows
All right number two All right, number two.
All right, number two.
Oh, she's got another aesthetic flute. This is nice.
That's a magazine.
That's a Pinterest ad.
That's nice.
Nice ass.
Did this come with a note, Che?
Does she wear that as like a babushka would?
Why did you assume there would be a note?
Well, the first one said this is my lounge outfit.
Oh, I see, okay.
Do I see a stain on the carpet
or is that the pattern in the rug?
That's blue?
Is that the same rug we saw before?
It's got a slight pattern to it.
That is a...
That's patterned.
This is shorts or skirt?
I think that's shorts.
That's shorts.
Could be a shorts skirt.
That's shorts.
Yeah, that's shorts. All right, where do you think she puts that handkerchief?
Yeah, how she wear it. Is that a Kleenex?
That's kind of what I figured. Back pocket? Or does she drive a convertible?
This is cool. I like the glasses. Cool glasses. Is she not gonna wear socks is my question. Whoa yucky. Yeah
This is cool though
Yeah, that's cool. Very cool fit. Very fit very cool fit strong start. Where's that gone?
Where you taking that that's like a daytime bar like an upscaler outdoor patio bar all right
We wouldn't let her wear that to like I'm saying let
You wouldn't put your foot down if you're gonna have to change take that fucking handkerchief. Yeah, no that was very nice very hip
Farmers mark I would have to start my outfit that is a farmers farmers mark
Farmers market do you have anything that could go next to that? Yeah, I have nice clothes this no
No, this is this is my everyday, but this but I have some nicer stuff. What you pairing with that? Yeah, like what are you wearing?
I have like some Henleys I would wear probably.
You wear a Henley with that?
Henleys. Maybe like a, if it's a crisper day, maybe like an over shirt.
An over shirt. A shirt?
You know, like with the buttons. Not a button down, but they have the flannel over shirts and stuff like that.
Oh yeah, okay. Cool.
Quarter Roy.
Alright, so let's see your Spotify rep. Oh guess based on the outfit. Oh, yeah
Like I'm gonna say it's a lot of the same as the first girl. I think I think it's gonna be more
Indy yeah, she's gonna have the band Camino, okay
So more of like a mum for like sons lumineers no that's ten years ago, Indy
Now Indy what's now Indy?
I don't know what what's I'm not hip. What's poppin?
Saw the names on Mount Joy, okay, sure okay?
No, I can
I knew this was my girl
I don't know what all lowercase tune is
I don't either
Or T-Rex to be honest
This is making me feel old
The black keys are
Oh this is cool
Cool chick
52,000 minutes of music
I don't think that's that many
Well I mean the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition
Altogether trilogy is probably 683 minutes.
So a thousand minutes a week, right?
I think mine was like 27.
27,000?
Yeah, I need to know my numbers before I judge these.
That's two hours and 20 minutes a day.
How do I get...
Pretty standard if she works out.
How do I get my stuff?
How did she get this oh I
gotta go on Spotify calm it's pretty low-key they only have 270,000 monthly
listeners the ground floor of tune it's a family band I only know Zach Brian and
the black keys of that group no con rocks okay is that him yep yeah you've heard Noah con I'd why would I
have heard no everywhere that's a that's a Bible camp no no no con yeah you know
you should I wouldn't expect you to know what's a Noah con is probably no
cons a candidate for like a song comes on you're like oh I've heard this one and
I thought that was funny Oh T-Rex is a psychedelic folk band
fuck y'all 60s and 70s.
It was really funny.
That's a good range.
I like that.
That was grand.
My dad was on drugs.
Your dad was on drugs?
Now you're listening.
So you would love Noah Khan, then.
It's just sad songs.
All right.
The video.
You like this girl so far?
This is good.
This is good.
OK.
This is better than the one, the first one.
Okay.
What? What are they selling?
Chocolates!
What?
Chocolates!
I can't hear you!
Uh-oh. Not a chuckle. Wasn't as funny as the first one. Oh, no. It was way funnier. I
Wasn't as funny as the first one
Way funny, right? Baby, that was way funnier disagree. I thought the first one was funnier. Oh
Was that a an ode to it? That's a spongebob reference
This is the noise the sound was spongebob. I enjoyed I'll play it again. Oh the sound
The sound was sponge Bob. I'll play it again. Oh the sound
And I was the old woman in a wheelchair
It's a baby. Yeah, are you sure it's not the baby talking? I'll be completely honest. I thought the woman
Okay, I won't say what I thought
You know what not gonna say what I thought the card game now that I know the card game card game commented on that the card game I
Love this corner of the
Fuck you, you know I imagine you're catching your girl DMing uno
Instagram
Instagram liked it. Holy shit your girl sends a nude to uno and they say reverse it turns around
shows her ass
That one I think drops you down a little bit. I uh I misread what that video was I?
Thought it was a paralyzed. I thought it was an ill baby. Not just a baby in a wheelchair
I thought the noise wasn't coming from the baby
It was someone in the I thought it was just like a very random clip of a video
We're need a wheelchair. that's a really good question
Not just a stroll, I mean newborn yeah stroller
They kind of are
Use their limbs. Oh, why did I invest all my money in baby wheelchairs?
Seven seven point two overall overall score you want the stroller or the baby
wheelchair 7.2 better better outfit better music worse video okay the video
dropped her down but if the first video had gone with the second grouping it
would have been in the eights whoa would have pumped her up a bunch all right
let's say I
thought it was a woman with a trachea in the background and then oh yeah
tracheotomy I thought that I thought the woman that was like holding her neck was
making the noise and I was like what baby you know what was funny to me was
like I have no idea why anybody was recording this what a little abrupt
clip of that and that's why I hate there had to been a few of those in your
family that yeah person I've actually seen to been a few of those in your family that yeah
Person I've actually seen that yes, I've seen it So you miss the sponge Bob I had no idea was a sponge. I didn't see the baby
I just saw the woman standing up off the couch like and then I just thought it was a chaotic video
And I was like that's it thought it was like the old tobacco commercials that
My mind just lives along. It's thought was very random
7.2 all right Jake doesn't fuck with babies. Let's go. Yeah, sheesh
Cute little baby all right candidate three
She says this is my cartoon character outfit. I wear a variation of this pretty much all summer
Okay, cartoon characters, so cartoon characters don't change their clothes. I want to interrupt real okay
I would like to like Jake. I would like to interrupt real fast. fast yeah I have gotten a text message from a number I do not have
saved saying I have the infamous voicemail oh this goes one of two ways
I will send it to Nick TJ Danny etc or you can dump a cup of water on either
Brandon or mark and the voicemail doesn't come out timer starts five
minute countdown where's this saw I'm not gonna do that so feel free to send it to whoever
Wait, that's terrorism. Yeah, so why would we send the voicemail to whoever you want?
I don't have this number saved in my phone true
And we're gonna listen to it is gonna make me how would that person have it? I don't know
I do not know the bluffing well, then it's call their bluff. I am I'm send it to whoever you want call their bluff
I'm not negotiating with what's the area code 3 1 2 that's Chicago
I oh is it Chicago that is Chicago. Nobody in Chicago would have nobody would have it. What do you mean?
I thought how do they have your number felt clear
Kyle we caught there's a terrorist that text Jake
Yeah, they they claim to have the infamous voicemail from high school and want me to
Dump water on mark or Brandon to not have all the bluff
They don't have that shit really try home to send one second of it if they but if they have it then send it to
Whoever try calling my book Jake
Does your number leak?
So green Android fuck off. I don't know I would probably just dump water on Brandon in case just to be safe
Yeah, usually if any of you get the voice that we can play it, but I don't know I would probably just dump water on Brandon in case just to be safe
Usually if any of you get the voice now we can play it, but I don't think that they have it
I'm happy to play that for everybody should call him back make a I said send that shit
Give him a call him back call him back and do the Liam Neeson speech from taken. I don't know who you are
What you want?
All right, so I gave if you weren't't here I gave the second girl 7.2 so the video dropped her down but it still doesn't seem like that
high of a number though I said if the first video was with the second girls
outfit and music it would have been in the eights okay all right girl number
three chair
God the cartoon character outfit where somears some variation of it all summer.
And then no other comments with this.
Okay, very nice.
Very nice.
Why is that a cartoon character outfit?
She doesn't change clothes, I think.
She's like always wearing a sundress
with like cute sandals and a bright, like this is her.
I mean, Jake, that's cute as a butt.
Yeah, cute as hell.
What's that little bottle up there?
What's you doing to that, Cesar?
What are you doing to that?
What are you doing to that?
Oh, that's gonna be a water bottle. No, that's gypsy water. Is that her scent? Oh. What's that little bottle up there? What are you doing to that? What are you doing to that? Oh, that's going to be a water bottle.
That's gypsy water.
Is that her scent?
Oh.
I think that's her scent.
OK, nice.
That's cute.
Very nice.
I love it.
Yeah, very summery.
She's not wearing underwear.
Yeah.
True.
Another one.
Very true.
I don't know.
None of them are.
Where are you taking that?
Where are you taking that?
That's BJ's brew house, two Pizookies. That's a BJ's brew house two pazookies
Nice fit you walk on the lake that could be walk on the way like walk on the lakefront
That could be a Jesus. She must be Jesus Christ
I'm just thinking like going out to like an outdoor bar on a Saturday
That's the last two girls have both been out right right not a lot of but those are good. I'm tivity or those are good
I was outdoor bar then I think you're just kind of I mean I'm trying to I'm envisioning
You know what it also wear just about anything doing outdoor bar
Yeah, and you're screwed when it comes not the first is there is there dancing involved with this girl?
Would you dance music I'd dabble I would dance with a with a girl. Yeah, what are you doing?
Thank you. What would you do? Thank you?
So you keep saying outdoor bars what happens when it gets cold you just have no clue what to do, right?
I think you're just answering based on what you've been doing lately. Yeah, this you don't that's what I do
I go down right, but you have if you have a partner that you love you have to do what they want sometimes
Right out of your comforts. Are you saying what do you think that she's doing in that out best case scenario?
What are you doing in that outfit if she hops in the grind line? Are you hopping in?
Yeah, babe, me and my buddies are in the patio. Just come by
Would you let your girlfriend twerk at a bar?
Stop saying let
All right, I don't like
All right, so she doesn't ask and you're just like where'd she go and she's twerking
Okay, would you allow you're just like that was kind of weird you disappeared and you started twerking
Yeah, that would be kind of weird. I wasn't expecting you. Yeah, it wouldn't let her
All right. Let's see your uh, see her music. Oh
He wouldn't let her he wouldn't look all right. Let's see your uh see her music oh
Here let's uh
Someone read it to me zoom in for that yeah meet me in the war sure I like Lord Huron Oh good depression music ball with you by him or grass so American Olivia Rodrigo
This is some shit that I listen to this is my big Connor Griffin man's skin you still have yours
No, I don't know. Okay, you oh, yeah
Some good music Sam first Brett blame Brett and she's listening to this. That's good music
Do you oh she doesn't show her battery percent percentage Titus Kate?
Y'all feeling old. Yeah
A
Single solitary motherfucking one. I like something. I like a lot of that. That's good. That's good music. You like that
Mm-hmm. All right good stuff. So this was the on repeat from like current. There's also a 2024 or sorry 2023 screenshot
Let's do the 2023 screenshots to go. Let. Yeah, see how she was last year.
She might have gotten worse or better.
Damn, that's a lot of leg.
Yeah.
Your top songs of 2023.
There's Blame Bread again.
These look to be almost the same songs.
Yeah, well.
Blame Bread. I've never. Sad. I don't know. 06. I, well, blame. I've never sat on yet on those
six. I don't know these. That's just a better. That's just the
lower part of the heart of the I honestly don't know the shaky
graves. They're a delight. That's high praise from UK.
Good group catfish in the bottle man. Good group there. You would actually like that sounds like somebody I would like. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Repeat one was our top songs of last year. Ah they seem very similar though You like it you like you'd let her play that on shuffle
Is main skin that overly sexy Italian man that just thrusts talking I was dealing with the voicemail terrorist
Okay, what do you say? What the terrorists say they said?
Someone quoted or they sent a quote back from sent to che and then they said quote
We cannot play the message due to its vulgarity
So this person does not have the voicemail. Yeah, of course. I'm lying out there, but it's sorry. Tell them to fuck off
I nothing okay. You like the music. I do context of this is Brandon fuck right off. Yeah, man
Monkeys oh, he's the dude with the crazy voice. Yeah
And he just like kind of just pretends to stroke his dick and I make us crazy
Fuck right off
All right, where are we at now the her video correct Jake had a head in the game
Anybody still has that yeah, that's probably not and certainly a number you don't know from Chicago is not gonna have it head in the game. I was dealing with that. Don't worry about that. There's no way anybody
still has that. That's probably not true. And certainly a number you don't know from
Chicago is not going to have it. I don't know why you think the Chicago part is the problem.
Were you hanging out a lot in Chicago? I went to a boarding school. People are from all
over the country. It could be anybody. Oh. All right. It just seems very random that
the city would- that thing definitely still exists
All right for sure anyway, but it's brand is saying the city where you currently live. Yeah, what are the odds have the guy?
Yeah, yeah, that seems I'm locked in sorry
And you kind of got to be critical do this yeah big we gotta eliminate some girls and assholes for once in your life
alright alright alright
are you enjoying yourself tonight?
yes
how old are you Sean?
28
I'm 24
I'm 28
what are you saying your hobbit?
um
what are you trying to think?
Well, let's have a word about it first.
My hobbies include video games,
books and animals.
What are some of your hobbies?
Uggh!
Ummm... I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to think
Do you like animals? Yes
Do you have any pets at home that live with you?
Yes
Cat or a dog?
I have a cat
I have a female cat named Marmalay
Is she a nice cat?
Yes
Likes to play?
Yes Yes
That love on the spectrum that was a dumb question for me. Oh that must be the bachelor
Jake question for me oh that must be the bachelor Jake can I pass? what do you mean? is that allowed? no you cannot pass did you find any humor in that
interaction yeah I just feel so bad when those pop up like you're laughing at
those people but it's funny you thought it was fun that's funny shit well then say that
yeah it's funny oh so you were stifling laugh I was like it yeah it's good she
liked her a lot yeah that was good that was a good you like how she was laughing
that was in the background that was probably her that was not no that was
who knows no that's that's gonna be someone's video
No, but that I mean it's that's I enjoy that was something I would enjoy being sent I find that what are you responding she sent you that she's like hey, babe
Check this check this out. Look what I just found. We give these two people
Triple crying emoji.
That's getting, just getting one of those ha ha's.
I don't know what to say to that one.
I think you just say yes.
Yes.
All right, so the last score was 7-2, right?
Yeah.
So what do you get?
This one is... Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- 7.1 I think it's a little bit worse you're a little bit and a little bit
worse on the second one Wow right that in my notes that point one is gonna
haunt that poor yeah yeah she's might get sent home because of that point one
all right Che girl number four undress autism 7 or Spotify wrapped I wanted to 7.1 I don't know what you said it like that or ummm
for spotify wrapped i wanted to be current so i pulled from recidify
showing the last six months
ummm
boarding a cruise this morning so this is my favorite outfit
um for my suitcase
ooh
what do you think about a cruise?
oh
oh
colorful
funky
oh i love that
that's just tasteful as hell.
That's nice.
Tasteful one piece.
Nice bag.
It's tasteful, but look at the high cut of that suit.
Yeah.
That's tasteful, but sassy.
Does that make you feel anything?
Mm-hmm.
And your penis.
Her curves.
Her curves on full display.
Does that do it for you, Jake?
This is like Fancy Crew.
This is nice.
I'm impressed.
I wish they were worse.
You gonna stick your finger through those holes?
Yes or no?
Probably not.
No, I don't know how to be mean about these.
These are good.
Nice earrings. Just be whatever you feel. Yeah, no, I don't know really how to like be mean about these. These are good.
Nice earrings.
Just be whatever you feel.
Yeah, no, I'm saying they're nice.
He's gun shy.
He's gun shy.
I'm not gun shy.
You're gonna crumple one of these.
What am I supposed to say about these?
He's gun shy.
You're gonna crumple one of these.
Nothing I've seen.
If she walked out wearing that, would you be like, oh.
No, I would say, you look nice.
The green's a little green, but other than the green, it's a little green.
That's what we want. That's the little green. That's what honesty is. That's the look nice. The greens a little green but other than that That's what we want
So act like you guys act like she's not wearing this act like you're in
Urban outfitters and she's like Jake. I want to get this. Oh, I would say that's a little green
There he is I would say it's a little
I think you also got to act like you've been dating these girls for like two years
And you might really on it might be sick of their shit at this point it's a little I think you also got to act like you've been dating these girls for like two years and
My really on it might be sick of their shit at this point. Yes lay it all out there Yeah, then it's way too green. Okay way too much UVA homecoming weekend. She busts that out. Well, that's would you let her
You'd have to you'd have to say no, right? Yeah, I mean you would yeah
I wouldn't want her wearing a bathing so that's your city for that right no
But the green I like the suit the green it was a little much on the green okay
The spotify right please Spotify wrapped whatever she has
recita fine
Interesting I like that what is that?
All right, so how many carpenter was there amazing? I've been fucking with Sabrina carpenter Charlie XCX may see oh she's a girl's girl Remy wolf's cool like oh
she's like only listens to chicks respect Oh grateful dad yeah what is
recidivy again we had a grateful dead poster in one of these didn't we oh yeah also yeah oh yeah I'm confused by the amount well for $974 so that's gonna be country Beyonce for all intents and
purposes oh thank you yeah these are things you gotta pay to the amount be
like songs listen to this year maybe don't know then why would Taylor Swift
be this is fast yeah I don't know if you don't put a
unit on the second ever order to make sense of it.
My guess is that the amount is minutes listen to of each.
No music. I feel like it's
and then the total is just all that added up.
Gotta be a score range out of 100 so Taylor Swift would be your most
Yeah, but it's seven. I don't know
Anyway, those are the art. All right, get solid. All right. I like a lot of those artists. Let's see your video
This is really the important one
so Liza Minnelli
Oh, okay
Again did Dave bump it Eliza of the guy in the background
Okay now take a bite and rate it
Big get for him that's fun that's fun or funny that's funny
that's like a quick a quick hitter just a little a little day brightener
okay what are you replying to it um
I would probably have said did you know she was in arrested development
as my response oh you're gonna do that you're gonna explain her lies well then you know she was in Arrested Development? That's my response. Oh, you're gonna do that? You're gonna hit her with a fun drill? You're gonna mansplain her, Liza Minnelli?
Well, no, and then, you know.
Huh.
All right, fuck you.
Whatever.
Hey, you respond back, you're just like,
oh my God, give me your algo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha C to five and Liza Manali Liza I'm gonna give that a kind of box yourself in with
seven two and seven one six point four six point four that was a fun scheme
the green too much confidence in that girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, you want her in beige.
That ain't a trad wife.
You didn't like that, right?
Uh-huh.
It's too.
You wanted more of a forest green.
Just a lot of green.
So it was a bright, bright green.
That was a look at me green.
He wants your olive drab.
Shrek hue.
There he is.
That's what we've been missing.
Alright, Shay, number five.
You guys are begging me to be the asshole.
Is that the act?
Yeah, we are.
We're begging you to be honest.
I'm trying to-
Because we know deep down you're having these thoughts.
We just want you to say the thoughts we know you have.
We're gonna be bringing these girls to you.
You can't be walking into Declan's and overhearing like,
hey, I think that green girl's with the Yak goalie.
You need to come first. The Yak goalie's with that green girl. I think that green girls with the yak goalie you want you need to come first the yak goalies
Yeah, right. Yeah, I think that green girls with the quick picks
Tough show yesterday by the way on quick. I don't know watched it, but uh what made it so tough
No audio for the first like seven. He's the producer
Yeah, so wait what happens if
people missed it number five J five is very detailed there we've got a we've
got two videos one for Jake one for Kate oh and we've got two different outfits along with a
Outfit explanation with this chick loves you
Right off the get is that a little much
There should be no reason I do kind of hope this whole show turns into just finding Kate a friend
What if like we do that for Kate and then the girl final girls like yeah, give me the money
Two thousand dollars or Taylor Swift drag brunch with Kate
Easy choice easy choice I
Like that she went into detail this is a woman who understands this is a show and it's entertaining she's going above and beyond
You guys are Kyle a little 100% right. I mean all the effort. She's putting an effort for Jake I look at you right now. How you feeling?
Are you a spaceship?
Nope, no sound
No, he's not because we were watching
Perfect. Perfect.
I'm muted.
No, he's not, because we were watching.
Have to send the other outfits to you, Jay.
My apologies.
Remember that McDonald's commercial?
It was like, let me get a McPick, too.
Every time you say it, I'm like, let me get my quick picks, too.
New theme song might take up the whole show, though.
Quick picks, too.
Mark, I swear to God.
You guys should have a long ass theme song.
I'll do an ad while they're doing work on the back end.
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Good read, Brandon.
Thank you, Danny. That means a lot. All right.
So yesterday you said one of your parting statements was there can be no positives,
only negatives out of this exercise.
Is that how you feel it's going so far?
Yeah, I don't think that anything...
There's nothing positive that you've seen so far.
But like what is...
Very rarely are you going to be wowed to the point where it's like okay? That is
such a shocking good in
Some of the shock minor upsides you don't have to score touchdown on every play sometimes you can have a positive play
Yeah, no, I would say that the that the picked up a first down far over the chain. Yeah, exactly
I would say that's kind of how this is going okay?
But what would be a positive like your dream girl would have positives well if it was something that was like
Shockingly specific to what I like then that would be a
crazy
Coincidence that'd be a huge plus you want to date yourself no, but I'm saying it would be one of those things
Oh, my favorite movie is this it's like oh like you know I even bring it up
They say that that's their favorite movie. That's a crazy coincidence positive got it
All right, Che TJ y'all got anything for us
Yes, let me just read this one sentence she said Kate asked for an outfit and jewelry description
So you've got that and my outfit is the hockey jersey
After scoring is done show the second outfit. I have my best Jake impersonation outfit. I thought it was funny
I take bonus points for effort. Yep. Yep sure do
To me she gets it. All right
A hockey jersey hockey baseball jersey
What do you think do you buy that
You hate that jersey.
That's a sick looking jersey though.
A fascinating outfit to put together.
Fascinating in what way?
Those are really nice boots.
And you're wearing a baseball jersey.
I assume those are nice jeans too.
Maybe it's to go to a hockey game.
She knew it was jersey.
It is jersey.
You gotta be hot to pull an outfit off. You do have to be hot. I agree.
Take someone with mm-hmm.
I'd argue no.
Yeah, cause I would wear that.
Brandon would wear that. Brandon has worn that.
The boots are a lot. It's a lot of boots.
There's two.
But she could be ready to go out after the hockey game.
Some gaudy boots.
So is that too gaudy? Is that too dressed up to go to a hockey game for you?
Yeah.
You would love a date.
Would you be embarrassed?
No, but I'd be like, mm.
OK, yes.
That's a gaudy boot.
This is what girls do on sports dates, though.
You wear sporty with some zhush.
This is like what we do.
Jake, I'm almost ready.
Do you like my boots?
No.
All right, that's how we get to where we need to go.
OK.
OK. Jake, is this good or should I change put on some sneakers?
Cuz then I'm walking around United Center. You're fucking complaining about your feet hurting she might not
Then she can jump on your back
And you guys have like a silly moment then my feet are hurting
But that's what girls do right if they're wearing like a jersey they have to overcompensate yes
That's what exactly what I'm saying jewelry. Yeah, she had shit converse. You'd be like oh, she's a lesbian. No. I would be like you're comfortable and ready to walk around
Okay, there's a second outfit. There's my girl. That's comfortable and ready to walk around
Okay after we write then we see the second outfit
Yes, all right. Give us a Spotify then I also have a picture of jewelry when do I show that?
Do that after the rating too because that's for Kate right?
Yeah, whoa oh shit
502s Bishop gun I know that song
Drivers matches The 502s Bishop gun I know that song drivers I am so not with the title. I played that on Friday vibes
I haven't heard a fucking one of that good or bad. I don't know
Theo von song Brian okay, you'll drivers. I haven't heard of any of these people besides Zach Brian
Shakes no I've heard of these people
You would like how do you know Tyler children's not Sturgill Simpson
His co-workers dating Zach Brown. That is a that's not yeah. Oh, that's how I figured out who's like Brian was
All right. All right. What do you think? Do you care positive? I can't really comic
I know I think this is the best music. I don't know
Yeah, yeah, so maybe I have something to explore but as of right now
I have no opinion because I don't know any I like Zach Brian and tell it like is how important is similar music taste?
It's more of a like if you're like whole it's more I was basically looking for if your whole thing was like EDM or
Something along those lines where it
was like oh yes he's gonna whiff on this girl like I can tell um it's that's an
iPad screenshot did you notice that I did not is that no no take that take that
detail or however you want to take it I pass her not my favorite there we go
yeah why you got that why the fuck do you have I'm almost ready can I bring this
iPad why you got that okay babe the new iPad air is out isn't it cool
how about a video video for one show did you show her jewelry it and then her
bonus off and then she has an actual like. No, we're doing the ratings first, right?
Oh, okay, she has an actual text explanation about her, the one we've seen.
Show us whatever y'all wanna show us.
I wanna hear the explanation.
Show us the other outfit, the jewelry,
and the explanation, then we'll see her video.
This is a lot of shit going on.
Okay, so there's her jewelry.
Cute.
Okay.
Okay, is that cobalt?
You like how this is a separate picture?
I'm wearing it same.
Oh, oh, oh, God! All right, all right, all right, so this is a better outfit than the first one Jake this could be southern bill
I kind of agree with you. No, this is we know who this is
So is the girl who works for the Blackhawks?
She's a work for the Red Wings oh
Yeah, I think you're right that my bad. I love I think you're right to that. Oh, yeah, I think you're right that my bad. I love I think you're right to that. Surgil Simpson, Southern Belle, Bishop Gunn, and a duck. Holy fuck!
My outfit is one of my favorites not because it's my cutest or comfiest, but just the overall vibe has a little bit of everything
I love a vintage jersey leather pant moment with a good pair of boots! Jake two exclamation points a little much
Nah, I do that sometimes. And this is an outfit I only wear to a game
So just looking at it has me excited to just feed on the glass
This is the Southern Grounds. the Southern. This is the Southern.
And do a sensible, tasteful amount of chirping.
The jewelry is very sentimental.
I wear it all every single day.
The two most special probably being the necklace and silver spoon ring.
The necklace was a gift from my pop pop to my grandmother.
Yeah, there it is.
And he was not the most gift-giving person, but when he gave one, it was very special.
And she gave it to me when I was 18.
The ring was my dad's mom.
She passed away before I was born.
So my paw paw gave it to me on my 16th birthday. Oh. She's got a pawpaw and she got a pawpaw and a pawpaw
and she's over 16 I know I know that Jake Malisik has lots he does yeah people that
call their grandparents catball and pop-pop and yeah give it to us juvenile this is so
much work that this woman has done for this. While I am very impressed, it's like...
You are a piece of shit.
I'm fascinated by these women that are doing this in depth.
I said yesterday, I was like, give us context, give us context.
God damn.
They're playing along.
Too much effort?
That's a lot.
I mean, good for them.
It's a crazy amount of effort for this.
It's really not that much effort.
No.
She wrote two paragraphs. Never once. Yeah, no we wouldn't go but that's not that much like if she's like yeah, I like Jake malice
Like I would like to date him yeah, so I'm willing to put forth five minutes of effort. This is five minutes
It's not an alarming amount of effort is that too much like yeah, is this too well thought out?
Oh, I do agree that I would not have gone to this extent
But like if you really think about all she did was type up a couple paragraphs. Yeah two fits
Hey, would you hang out with this person? Yes and the duck outfit specifically. Yeah, that was nice. Yeah, that was nice
That was nice outfit. All right. Now, let's see your video
She's got a video for Jake in a video for Kate
Do Jake first, okay?
I've seen this caption video for Kate. Do Jake first. OK.
I've seen this.
I know you still know it, but the caption?
Huh, huh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, this one too, but Kate Okay, she must know how big of a diddy fanny when you have some big plans for the night
Cheese you got plans. Oh, yeah, I like it do you Kate?
What you like about it
Those are my big plans these days
Anywhere she waspan bottle of wine. I love it. She was connecting to the mom
Yeah, the music would have helped her too much. Yes
All right, Jake. Where do you fall? Here's the thing is I'm gonna put her in first as at the moment
But I don't want to you don't like her. I think I have
There was a way I like her the best but I don't listen man. No, there's no other way
I shouldn't I shouldn't she's probably so excited right now as much as it pains you she got the most points you have to accept
I'm gonna give her
I don't believe she deserves it, but I think I have that
Dude props to you that took some discipline
What are you doing? I don't know what it's I don't know what it is, but I feel like I have to do it
I don't think she deserves just based on the effort alone. I have to bump her up. Oh
my god
God okay, all right is it can I can I offer this theory that you believe that to be the southern belle and you know
It's not that it's that I know that they're all good
But I don't know what it was, but it's I know she should be in first So I'm gonna put her in first, but oh are you?
Need your pity no, it's not pity. It's she earned first place
That was the most that was the best one we've gotten so you liked her outfits and submissions the best yes
But I don't believe that I did I don't know it's a weird thing
I don't know how to like the air you like her like the effort you know you think you should like the effort
But you don't actually don't at all. This is about being true to yourself
I am be judge know your steward don't know your behavior should be in first place that girl should be in first why to us
No to the audience as well, but you don't know a single one of her music
What are you saying you didn't like her outfit? You don't like her music. You don't like her music
What are you talking or switch are switch You're going to know it if you're not
Take we don't want you to be an asshole. We want you to be you
We know that deep down
This is so this is the problem. This is the jake malisek
I know she's a woman or a woman call her her her grandpa pop pop and he's like no
Be you a mere two days ago you were out on dilly
down probably you're right and now you're okay with pop pop problem I'm
having is we've whittled it down to women that I've decided that I enjoy oh
my god you have feelings no it's not that I have feeling we gotta get down to
five man like the Grinch's growing fuck this is important seven point eight as
seven point eight all right all right all right seven8 first place. I'm sticking to my guns alright
I think we're at girl number six
I just want to pan back
So girl number six that's so funny route like somebody you don't want just keeps winning
All right girl number six a quick comment with the outfit
I attached photo one of my outfits that I feel really represents me
And then I believe I sent it to screenshots CJ. She uses Apple music, so she just gave her a top ten
favorite most played songs all right
the outfit oh
Gadget nice
Those are flowers. That's a very nice. Oh
T. Up a final four nice. Huh Buckeyes. This is really well done. Oh
Oh, team up for final four. Nice. Uh-huh.
Buckeyes are there.
This is really well done.
Oh, some earrings.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Now, it should be noticed,
some of these girls are trying to actually date
other members of the show.
She might be going from Mark Titus here with the final four.
Yeah, could be.
This is our best outfit.
Did she take this with a film camera?
This is the best outfit?
That might be a filter.
Some filters have that.
The fun Nikes.
This is the best outfit we've gotten.
Are those flowers for you?
This is the best outfit, the sundress. This is the best outfit. We've gone are those flowers for you This is the best outfit this is the dress that we've got she's dressed to sneak. She's dressed as three boys sneaking into a movie I
Like that a lot. That's very nice
Does it are you horny no I never get horny, okay?
Could be a thing
So no matter any girl you see you just won't get aroused
I don't know man. I don't know really nice as if this is all for not best outfit so far all right
Let's see I think it's the's see. I think it's the most
It's the best together, and you like that. It's beige I do I like that she's is it she's not showing any skin any skin the hat does it tell you anything
sporty like sport
Duke was in that final four
There been a lot of them am I alone and thank you right by far the worst outfit
Oh, I just I think it's a good. I like that a good outfit. Okay, it's not too green. I don't tell you that I fall day. I like the shoes all day
Mm-hmm. All right, let's see your music. All right, so what let's say a girl
She's wearing that and she has the flowers with her you guys are going to the farmers market
She are you going are you going to question the flowers? Yeah. Why do you have those? Yeah?
How do you feel about her holding flowers as an accessory? She says my boyfriend gave maybe there for me
That's why I get flowers. Would you like that babe? What I'm gonna do with these flowers brought you these flowers
Thanks, where you gonna put them? Yeah. What do you we want you to answer the question?
I don't know what you miss. I fear as if you're losing your so I think I am I think I'm very confused
I think I'm very confused. All right.
Focus up.
Focus up.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Interesting.
I don't know what to do.
The first answer you give is your answer from now on, OK?
Yeah.
I'm being poked and prodded for all these different answers.
All right.
Give her her music.
Give him her music.
All right, Northern.
Noah Khan.
Who is this motherfucker?
Journey.
Alanis Morissette.
Nice.
Jen Blossom.
God damn it, Jen Blossom.
This is good.
Without Me, Eminem, Banger. Greatanger great song foreigner and journey on there's crazy nice
This is really good. This girl is in first place right now. Eminem is not weird to you
No, I listen at all the time a little variety. It's really yeah, she's kind of all over
Apple music early. All right. I like that nice really good good solid music very solid
All right, that's the variety that you wanted. So far, best submission.
Okay, everyone else for the next one, remain completely silent and just see how Jake reacts
to this video.
Fair enough.
Play the video.
You know, you lie all the way.
Why are you crouching?
I'm such a big guy and I get in the way of the...
What are you getting in the way of the
Sorry, I scared you there Jen. You can't believe it. You'll never do that Dan.
I'm breathing in right now.
Oh no.
Thanks God.
Good, very funny. She's solidly in first.
8.8
Whoa.
8.8.
Wow. Sheesh.
Beige M&M 8.8.
Beige M&M. 8.8, very solid, very very good. Sheesh beige Eminem a point a beige
Very solid very very good
Girl number seven
All right girl number seven no real explanation with these that's fine, but yeah But yeah
What
It's too smart hate it why?
Hate the shoes with all the study studs
Very dark black don't like that why this works a bar so this girl fucking hates me really yeah these girls do not What is the what's the girls girls?
We would not get along Hates me really yeah, these girls do not what is the Girls the girls that wear the shit
We would not get along say it was different shoes is she a little outfit guys This is why I asked for the outfit. No you're right you're right
Yeah, so if like this is her favorite pair of shoes according to these like favorite outfit
Yes, but like this on everybody prioritizes comfort. I know I'm saying but like I I know for a fact
We're not getting along so if you're going out to a bar, I just know it for a fact this while we're here. Yeah, all right
That's this is perfectly she's like Jake. I promise you I'm into you like that's like a rave type of outfit
Like a Lollapalooza type don't let him get in your fucking boots of
the black skirt I don't know that's going out where that anywhere you feel
primal disgust yeah I did all right let's do the music oh my god yeah we're
not gonna okay this is what everyone else I know but I just I can tell yeah, there's nothing different to defend her
This was just number one
Right I just know
All right, but that would be pretty calm for a rave whatever favorite activity was right
You want to be honest? I just
We love it. We're not gonna work. We're still gonna What if she has a bang out the flaws in your logic?
What she has the best video that be that be a real pickle?
All right
We got an eagle
I hate this! Keep that in look!
What a top is that?
Yeah, she's out.
Okay.
What?
What are you giving it out of ten, Jake?
That's a four.
Wow.
Four one maybe.
Oh, you hate her.
Yeah.
Oh wow.
I apologize.
That was...
Sorry.
That was like the equivalent of the beige outfit.
Was, was...
It was like, it was...
I learned nothing from that outfit.
Was the skirt too short
You wouldn't let her I
Hate the shoes. What do you mean? I hate the all black. That's not even it's all shoes
It's the shoes right so like if you saw her in that what would you would be your first instinct to say to say?
I probably if am I seeing her like at a bar randomly no no no you are picking her up to
Say anything, but I would be like this is this was a mistake
That's what I would say
In my brain I would think to myself
This was a mistake
I've made a poor decision
And that's where we're at and that's why we do this.
There we go. Yeah, this is incredible.
When you say those type of girls hate me like what have you had it like an interaction like what's based on what?
Yes, what is this based off of what did those boots do to you?
I don't I just I can just tell I can see I can envision the girl wearing that outfit and she just and she hates
Yeah, she just doesn't but um, but you don't like her back. Well, that's the isn't that a little bit of attention a little heat
She's gone
a little heat she's gone oh my god I'm trying to save her sorry she's out she's out all right to defend these guys though they don't have to necessarily
be going to a bar in that right oh I know I know I that outfit was nothing to
me oh that's what's shocking I felt like very yeah sure was called Jake is not
gay is there anywhere appropriate that that outfit like you would pick her up
going somewhere oh that would be like if you're going like a lala or something like that like you would wear that
But if she had like a body you're really into would you like looking at that?
So be it sorry bye
Eagles fan 4.1. Oh my god
Girl number eight all right. this is our final candidate.
This is what you want.
One sense of preface, this is an outfit,
this is about to go out on a weekend.
Mix and match depending on weather.
Nice.
Canadian tuxedo outfit. Depending on either the shorts. Yeah, she loves denim and the boots or the what's the hat saying? What does that say? She on the USS Oklahoma Pearl
Harbor. Okay, was unaware that had existed. This is cute. This cute The jeans are very cute big pockets on those jeans. This is this is good. Okay, you like that. Don't hate this at all
And I like that those kind of boots. I like over the snake skin boots
Have you tried to glance at the size of any of these clothes? I have okay. Okay. No further que
Nothing has a good TJ zoom in on the tag.
Nothing has triggered alarms.
Anything else? The bag was okay?
What?
The bag was cool with you?
Yeah, I like the bag.
What is she wearing under the jacket?
Oh yeah.
That's just a...
Black top?
Yeah, maybe just a black top. Yeah, maybe just a black top
Glasses are cool. Yeah, this is this is a big hoop earrings are those hoops or there's a
Are the earrings? I don't know those are all very shades bangles could be bangles are they bracelets? This could be Cincinnati girl It's an Addy girl. Yeah, there's no way of telling are those feathery. Oh, there's a bangles
We zoom in on those those earrings are we got bangles?
others Are those feather? Oh, there's a bangles we zoom in on those those earrings are we got angles? Those oh wrist wrist their bag
Everybody's got the sunglasses nowadays cool cut
Frames they sure do everybody I know that that should be keeping that news on out of their face
I can't believe these trends are popular
She did her Spotify in three parts all right. Okay. It's gotta be a country vibe. Oh, she's got the bows
Oh, I love the fucking war in treaty. I've been to Bozeman
Okay, pretty cool. I'm shocked Montana's over there
Huh?
I'll say hey driver Warren treaty. That's a great great song. Yeah
That's a great song too. Yeah, whoa. That's a great song, too. I don't know if I've heard that one
Stand up
Okay, yeah, nice. Oh wait was that on NBA Street? We're really close that Brandon. I really got a
Top artists ZB point five percent sheesh. Yeah, that's a lot of ZB
So she's got more Zach Brian minutes than that first girl had Taylor Swift minutes. Wow. I guess so, yeah. For those listening. What's there, Brady? Oh yeah. I have to hear
what you just said. Well, if you can't see it, I'm saying. Okay, alright. Alright, let's
see your video. You like this girl so far? Yeah, this is good. Okay. Does that skip a I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna doive. I was kind of looking for more of like a deep cut
You know what's opposed to I don't know something something more edgy the the
Getting tackled the girl the other day did an office quote. You're like yes
Yes, that's what we want. Yeah
And now you're looking for deep cuts you understand the mixed messaging here. I didn't like it. You didn't like it
I know I like the other two
So anytime mess I'm not telling you you're wrong. I'm telling I know I know I know you're not right
I'm gonna I'm gonna contradict myself. All right, so you have a long day at work. You're busy. He's like hey
I have to do quick picks. I'll text you in eight minutes
And in the meantime you see that on your phone
Do you yeah, it doesn't move the needle for me. OK, what do you respond to that text?
That's a, that's a stupid question.
Don't waste, like, hey, I know you're working with me
on this show.
Is that a no response?
That's just a ha ha.
Like a little emphasis ha ha.
You're just reacting to ha ha.
That's just a reaction.
No text response.
All right.
Right.
What's, what's?
Well, now what?
So that was the denim, right?
Denim.
Denim.
Mascots.
I'm going to give that a.
Good music.
Yeah.
I'm going to give that a second place 8-1. Solids. You didn't seem like you were 8-1 there. Oh, I like the outfit give the music. Yeah, I'm gonna give that a second place 8-1
Solids you didn't seem like you were 8-1. Oh, I like the outfit and the music a lot The video is you're kind of you said the video is the most important. I know but random numbers
No, I think she was good. I liked her. Oh, you liked her. Okay. I liked her
I'm not gonna step. I wish the video was funnier, but I'm not gonna you know, it wasn't unfunny. It's mascots. Yeah, right
That's got a hundred percent hit rate, right? Let's go with number nine Che. I think that's it.
Eight. Oh we only had eight? Yeah. Oh I forgot in my mind we had eleven so that
was it. Oh wow. That was it. So if we're looking at the high scores from today. We are.
Do you want me to say the names? No. So what were your high scores you had an 8 8 8 8 1 7 8 7 2 7 1 6 8 6 4 4 the
top 5 we ended that 7 1 who was the 4 1 the stud the Eagles so anybody below the 7 1 is gone
on it they're out or anything under 7 is out We're going from eight to five right? Yeah.
So I guess Chay if we want to we can what were your scores the four one? Four one six
four six eight were the bottom three. Let's find out who those three are first Chay. That
was one four seven. And they're out out? I think they're out. I think this day was about
eliminating those three right? And then we forward with with the fight I this is the final five that was the final five that we will work with tomorrow and and next week
However, we do it and to be clear. We're discarding the scores in the first couple days. Yes just today
scores reset
Okay, so we are eliminating with a
6.8 Claire see
Like tomorrow, okay, I liked her. You liked them all, Kate.
I know, but she has a wholesomeness.
No, you went out on a limb and called her a delight,
I believe.
Yeah.
Claire C, okay.
Claire C is gone.
Hold on, just stick right here so I can find the pictures.
So I need to let you know who's gone.
So cute. Well, I haven't, I can who's gone. So cute.
Well, I haven't.
I can't find because that wasn't the.
Oh, clearly.
Mm hmm.
Gone.
Sorry, Claire.
Sorry, Claire.
Pretty gal.
Yep.
She'll land on her feet.
I think they seem to all be.
Yeah, she should be.
Someone say better off.
She'll probably make it.
She'll be OK.
All right.
All right.
So who's next che?
Okay with a six point four eliminated is
Mackenzie and you like that man. I did like me like Mackenzie
Which um outfit that was the too much green? Oh?
Yeah
Yeah, going on the this is gonna ruin her cruise that she's yes, maybe
Enjoy your crevice. They did she's about to burn that green. Who was the outfit of the first girl?
That was the iOS sweatshirt. Oh, okay, so oh
Claire save
Take me say it's okay. It's okay the Jake's not pretty girl. Yeah, I'm sorry and who Mackenzie am Kenzie am Mackenzie am pretty
Yeah girl. Yeah, I'm sorry. And who? Mackenzie M. Mackenzie M. Mackenzie M. Pretty. Yeah. Okay. And who was our third girl eliminated? In a bit of a shock. Oh dear. Oh no. No. No.
Wait, can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess? I'm gonna guess this. Oh, I know who's going.
This is gonna be the Ozzie or Abby J. That's my guess. No, I think it's I think it's Mason. No way No, it is a previous first tie-in for first place Sarah P
Oh
That's yeah, that's the one you got angry at. Yeah therapy. So what did you like about Sarah P previously?
I'm looking my notes. I'm starting to get attached to these girls. I know yeah
Sarah P. I'm sorry. What did I like about Sarah P? Don't know I don't remember I don't have the rest of the names attached to what I had
She's she's the Aussie right no. That's a BJ
She was original top three though
Which all right, so who do we have remaining?
Who's in first place from this who won this?
so
coincidentally the top three from today are also the top three if you average the scores of nice
In the first place that's crazy. That's kind of crazy
There's like are we designing a new way to date or is it just the first round that you you scored differently?
Yeah, his is the very the very the variance in the first round you were doing great
You were doing actually one and now you're doing seven point one seven point
Also, we respect them to be better scores as we get through
So who was the girl's number one because she got an 8h. She was significantly above everybody else today
Yeah, so that is going to be Taylor H
From the beginning I said Taylor H frontrunner she. She's been in the mix the whole time.
Which one is she?
That was the Red Wings.
Red Wings.
Red Wings TV.
Oh yeah, you like her.
I do like Taylor H.
Yeah.
She's a good...
You got feelings?
No.
So she lives in Detroit?
Must.
She has lived in Detroit.
I'm in the process of getting everyone's age and exact city related, but they also...
But hold on.
Is Taylor H. the one that you said, I have to put her first?
No. No, that was... That was not her that was that's the girl that did a little too much. Yeah
This was a natural for that was okay, so this is a natural first. This was inspector gadget. Okay, all right
Yeah, Taylor H is killing it
All right, so currently in second place with an 8.1 today
Overall score 8.37 probably our most consistent person outside of
Taylor age Erica Kay she got an 8.5 and an 8.1
nice 8.37 what was Erica's outfit? Erica Klein. She was all the denim. Yeah that's what you assumed.
Erica Kay is like the girl that your dad doesn't want you to date
Brandon's your dad I think that makes you want her more subconsciously She all the denim
Oh, she was all that I can see that okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay third place
in third place with a
7.8. I guess today
Overall score if you round out the days 8.2 our southern bell Mason nice
Good strong strong top. She was the Jersey girl right?
What was she wearing she had the Chicago Blackhawks baseball jersey? Oh, she was doing it. Yeah the dual outfit, right? Yeah
So she loves my ass
Mason I'm so sorry
so then
Okay, the the final two people seven point two day
their cumulative score is actually also a seven to Mary M Mary M uh-huh yeah
Magdalene that she had the scarf designer okay then in fifth place with a
seven point one today kind of surprising her overall score if you look at And then in fifth place with a 7.1 today
Kind of surprising her overall score if you look at everything is an 8.17
And our Natian private chef the Aussie Wow Wow
We almost lost her. What was she today? Which one she was the sundress and she sent in the love on the spectrum clip
Okay, Australians have Australia or they fucked up humor. Yes, they do. Yeah
Solid all right. It's an Australian show too. They have a
Started there they might also just sound like that
Is five too many to bring should we just bring three to the office cut to tomorrow
So what are we doing tomorrow? It's something to do tomorrow
Tomorrow we doing video submissions testimonials testimonials from friends or family. Well, I hold on. Let's let's talk through that Is that gonna be it makes it easier if we have three to organize a day where they yeah be here
Yeah, they cut to tomorrow planning on doing well when they get here figure that out when they get here
No, all right, go out tomorrow let's let's give them friend testimonials tomorrow and then if
when they choose the $2,000 date with Jake how they would break it down okay
I like that yeah your perfect $2,000 date with Jake nice like the money like
does not take with Jake no we moved to 2000 $2,000 date or thousand two
thousand dollars
Shouldn't the money be less than the date? No, shouldn't you have to say less money or all right?
$2,000 date or a thousand dollars cash. Isn't that how it usually goes? We don't know
Yeah, you're right in previous seasons
All right, so we have testimonials describe your date let's do one more thing yeah
Some visual here, so I still well I guess closet kind of got knocked out with the outfit right Instagram explore page
Oh, I like Instagram explore page a lot can they?
explore page was on who I like Instagram explore page a lot can they fiddle with that yeah they can alter that I think what they should do is a screen
recording open a refresh it and it they screen recording pull up to refresh it
and that's what you see okay on that one I'm worried that all five are gonna be
the exact same too it's almost like the music tastes and free. Yeah, it's like in like a resume type deal. It's just quick pic clips
You mean the whole show
But they could still alter it
Hi noon, it's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the high noon end zone pack is here
It includes limited edition fan faves faves
Flaves works to
Pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit high noon the end zone pack is a fall exclusive which means it's here for a
Good time not a long time visit high noon spirits calm before your next tailgate pack
Here you well for your next tailgate find a pack near you my apologies. Thank you for clearing that holds really getting to me
Yeah, well she came in what can you do?
I was hoping one of those times we just panned back to chase and a cold sweat with a thermometer
To you kind of sweater is like the oxygen in his nose
As a black eye chase throughout this process have you had any
Opinions that you kept in no. I mean mean, I think Jake's doing a pretty good job.
The submissions have been really good.
I've been surprised that there hasn't been a big drop off
because I assume most of the women are watching the shows.
So I was surprised people aren't just like,
no, fuck this guy, but I mean, everyone's come back.
Me too, to be honest.
For tomorrow, are we going to reset the scores again?
Or do you want to like give the top two scores from tomorrow plus number one overall cumulative?
Triple points?
What do you want?
We go with points for two days again.
Can we do triple points?
I don't know if the producers will let us.
Rules committee.
Titus, are you the leader of the rules committee?
Yeah, triple points.
That's dangerous.
That's a dangerous precedent to do triple points
Yeah, but but it's a danger. So
Yeah, we're doing a not gay show with a gay guy
Yeah, I like that's the twist, huh
Hmm
Well figured out yeah, well, I don't know
How do you feel Jake reset them? I feel good. I like I like resetting. Yeah, well, I don't know. How do you feel, Jake? Reset them.
I feel good. I like I like resetting them.
Yeah, I like reset freshly because the ones who have been on top
still found their way the day.
Are you are you starting to fantasize about
starting a relationship with one of these women?
Um, no. Are you starting to like I am?
I think the the the concept of this, No, are you starting to like I am I
Think the the the concept of this the women are only gonna get better as we get deeper in I feel like we have to sort of understand. Yeah as a group pretty deep
I'm gonna not be as critical because I've chosen
Again, I wasn't really talking about the critical part. I wasn't talking about the negative
I mean they're trying to steer you towards the positive. There's like do you have feelings?
Are you excited about like wow something really might come of this these girls? I thought would be terrible candidates
They turn out to be no I'm pretty awesome. I'm surprised
Uh, I can't wait to have sex with one of these what's not let's pump the break
First time's gotta be special
Maybe since it's only negatives and no positives. What if we started at a hundred and you just subtracted?
Subtracted. Yeah.
Those seem to be... I guess.
Like the final winner is like...
And uh...
If I had to.
Yeah, the least worth it.
I guess.
If I got it.
Finishing with 16 points.
If I had to choose...
Oh man.
No, so far
I mean
Pleasantly shocked when the three come are we gonna try to have the three come to the office or we gonna have the iPad?
Really really attached tightly to mincy's face next week. I think we gotta get the three of the office
I don't think I think that's what you say that that's what's holding you back is you don't know what they look like
Like do you think it wants if you knew what these women looked like, you would... I mean, it definitely... I just...
It's gonna matter.
I'm seeing a guy that doesn't want to make himself vulnerable.
Do you think love is blind?
That's what I'm seeing.
I'm staring right into the eyes of a man who's unable to make himself...
The guard is still up.
He's afraid.
And how do we get those walls down?
That's definitely gonna impact my decision a little bit.
What?
On how the women look?
I'm not 100% sure it's gonna be your decision.
We haven't really got that far yet, either.
On who wins? Yeah. It's gonna be a vote by committee. Where do your priorities lie?
Guy ever text you back. Yeah, he doesn't have that shit
Don't poke him
So when the three come into the office next week,
do they say their names?
Oh.
That's kind of fun.
Just one, two, and three.
Yeah.
That's kind of fun.
I don't think.
Although it's not gonna matter
because he's just gonna be picking based on what they look like.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, sure, he's throwing everything away.
All right, he doesn't care what their names are
at that point.
Who's the hottest one?
All right, so tomorrow we get- Do you have it in you to date an Ugo?
Oh my god.
You don't?
It's important.
Would you be...
Is it yourself as an ego thing, or would you be afraid of the looks you'd get?
Isn't that the same thing?
No, the looks you'd get.
I know, isn't that the same thing?
As what?
As having an ego about it?
That's completely different
How your ego like being like I know that I'm?
The better looking one or would you just be uncomfortable?
Okay, no pressure here at all say I was everything you wanted
But me you know you just wear this hockey mask time go out. She's a 10, but she's king. Oh, what are you doing?
No, I definitely have a type.
I don't know what that is.
I know.
Kate, there'd be no chance of a D1 athlete with you.
Jake, if you say, I have a type, I don't know what it is.
It's one of those things.
Do you see where those are opposing ideals?
So what my experience with women is, is a lot of the girls that I have found interesting over the years have all
Had sort of a different look to them, but it's one of those things where you look at somebody and you're just like
She's got it got it
Okay, and that's rare very rare so when we bring these girls in this contest might last
It might say immediately you walk in in you would do that you'd be
like not what's the point all right one of the three has to go immediately like
next oh yeah just out said you would ax them all at once if you saw them and
they weren't well maybe not for the show but in my brain it would be like yeah
no one's winning and we'll be able to tell probably probably yeah all right
probably be an immediate end of the show
I mean big cats gonna be back next week. He'll probably just let the wheel decide anyway. Yeah, probably yeah
All right, yeah, well Tj. You won't get that wheel ready all right guys
Please watch we're really banking on him giving us thousands of dollars by the oh, that's I talk
Okay, see you Where are you going?
You know where I'm going.
Bye, Jake.
What's the prep for that?
Just sitting down on the chair.
Wake up.
All right.
All righty.
So let's recap what tomorrow will be.
So did we settle on the third thing?
Did we settle on the third thing?
Instagram Explorer?
Oh yeah, Instagram Explorer, Confessional,
or not Confessional.
A friend.
Yeah.
Friend testimonial.
Friend testimonial.
Anybody know?
I don't remember.
Wait, was it?
What was the third thing?
We just said it.
There was a testimonial video
recording of your Instagram explore page and then dates they're available next week. No,
no, no. A full breakdown of what the 2000. How did you get to there from what we said?
That was that was a request from yesterday. Okay, but the third one is your ideal $2,000
date with mouse. Oh, right. Yeah. Really go in detail, break it down.
Really allocate the money.
Yeah, take charge of this date.
And what if they want to do something extra?
I don't know.
Well, you scared them off today.
Somebody did do a little extra.
Let me ask you a question.
Should it be the ideal date for them with $2,000
or what they would do with Malasek for $2,000?
Because they might just try to cater to him.
No, I think they should do their ideal date for him.
Yeah, their ideal date. Yeah, their ideal date.
Yeah, their ideal date.
Their ideal date.
Yeah, don't, it could be with Malasek or anybody in the world,
but your ideal date for $2,000.
Yeah.
Because I don't want to cater to going to a Virginia game
or shit like that.
Or maybe that's what you want to do, I don't know.
Is that a kind of trick?
What if instead of a cash second alternative to malisec?
It was like a $2,000 day with malisec or a $200 day with Kate
They've all expressed interest in three there's gonna be three choices malisec cash or Kate
Okay, here we go
Don't pick me either. I suck. What about one night with you Brandon?
One night on the lake they get to be a guest on quick picks.
That would be cool.
You guys are king makers over there.
Why are you doing this, Danny?
I don't know.
I'm trying to think of other shows you're on.
You're not on that many.
Yeah, it's a good point.
All right, we'll be back tomorrow.
That's the act. Yeah
Tomorrow, I love you, but