The Yak - Mintzy Has a Busy Week of Being on Vacation | The Yak 4-30-24

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Eating my LAAANNCCHYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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It's called BroGlo. They all look the exact same. You and Kyle look exactly the same. Someone gave me the, did you just go on vacation? I'm like, no, BroGlo. You're darker than Kyle. It works. Yeah.

I was using it for a while. Yeah. They really do look exactly the same. What the fuck? You guys look exactly alike. Even your arms look the same. Wait a goddamn second.

Same hues. Do you guys look alike? Fuck, dude. Same hairlines. Same hairlines. I'm flexing just so we're clear. Kyle's not. I will say the ankle socks are throwing me off. Yeah, the socks are. I just went with it.

I didn't bro-glow my ankles. Should have. I'm spray tanning this week. You are? Yeah. Bro-glow is spray tanning. I'm tired of looking like me. It was tough yesterday when we did our hockey video that's going to come out soon when we

were in the locker room and we were getting into our skates and still haven't taken off. The nail polish? Yeah, the nail polish. Is it like chipping or is it perfectly... No, I'm just watching the growth of my nails. Oh, that's kind of cool. It's got to be like half polish. It's a half and half.

It's a half and half. Let it grow out naturally. It's fine. No spoilers, but who won that thing the viewers I'll tell you who didn't win off camera I'm happy we're friends with Roan yeah good guy

I'm happy he's on our side really good guy that's one of those guys you just want in your foxhole and no one else's. Because man was out of this track. One of the meaner poems. Woo. He dropped it at like three in the morning. It was late as fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. I call it. That's kind of diabolical. It's diabolical to wake up and be like, what? Kevin probably woke up and was like, what just happened? You have to wake up to that. Yeah. No yeah you don't have like any moment to process you just see that it's been up for four hours he's still got it he's still got it i like when roan gets in his

devilish ways yeah it's like i i give him the pass to act irrationally yeah yeah i give him it's he's like one of the Yule lads. Like the Icelandic Yule lads. Yeah, he actually is. Christmas tip. They're always, they have a thing that they do. You love them, but they have a thing. And again, Titus pointed out yesterday,

all this could have been avoided if Ben Stiller didn't. Yeah, he said yes. I think Ben Stiller is the agent of chaos. He can't be saying yes and shit like that. Kevin shouldn't be mad at Rone, he should be mad at Ben Stiller. If Ben Stiller doesn't say of chaos. You can't be saying yes. Kevin shouldn't be mad at Roney. He should be mad at Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller doesn't say yes. None of this happened.

Yeah, agent of chaos, Ben Stiller. He created this. Dropping a bomb in Barstool and walking away. Unbelievable. Yes. What's going on with this list? Do we have to actually pick? I'm not following. I was over this about 10 seconds.

That's what I said. I don't even understand it. It was just up on the wall. Someone just has been putting this list around. I'm not taking the bait. That's dust on the toilet. I opted out of this content. I'm not even on it.

Is that because you're last, Titus? Well, I mean, the prevailing theory is it's ranked by dick size from smallest to biggest. And that's what everyone's saying. That doesn't seem no i was you know they they approached me with that it made me blush i was like guys i don't want to talk about this and i've just decided to not talk about it that is the prevailing theory congrats caitlin we think this was nicky smokes no what are you laughing about? Congrats, Caitlin.

When Kate says it, it's funny. When we say it, it's too far. I laugh when all of you say it. That's true, you do. I laugh at the jokes on here at my expense and my sister's expense. Why can't you ever take a joke, man? I was laughing. Brandon Walker never takes a joke.

It's crazy. Sheesh. So what's going on with the list? Well, I thought we just agreed. No, we're not going to pay attention to it. This has Tommy Smokes written all over it. He's not here. No, I thought this was in the.

This is here, right? It was on the front door here. Oh. It was on the front door? Oh, then it's Nicky Smokes. No, he can't spell all those names. But he can't think of a head. He can't plot.

These are names you really got to be an insider. Yeah, because some of these names wouldn't. Yeah, it's someone in production because. Oh, are these all the people here? Nicky Smokes wouldn't know all these people. Non-content dudes, I guess. Here? Or is there New York, too?

No, it's all Chicago. 55 people? If this list was made for a reason, if this order has merit, then I will give this person respect. Who's Cody Miles? I'm second, so obviously it's a good list.

Why do you think it's a good list, Brandon? Well, I'm second, so it has to be something good. Stefan's one. But Stefan can't be one. Is it most exhales in a day? I don't do that many exhales. God damn it, this list is bothering me now.

I need to know who made it. What number are you? I don't even know. Me and Stefan would make sense at the top if Zah wasn't right there with us. There's no, I don't know a list where me and Zah would be back to back. Where was it again? Outside the office or inside? No, it's inside. It was on the front door

in the kitchen. I just want to know who made it. That's all. I think Chuck might know something. Chuck knows something? This is not a real... This is so stupid. We're not doing it. We're not doing it. No, I'm fully invested. This is so stupid. Unless it is... Unless it is the dick size thing. If it's an actual ranking i'm back something then i

like i i'm with you guys we should not talk about this list at all right let's figure it out what's going on with the list knowing what it's about wait sit down sit down oh who who created it uh it was extremely disappointing when I found out. Oh, no. Yeah, it loses its lust as soon as you find out. It never had it. No lust. It doesn't.

That list wanted to fuck me. From what I was told, it was Fasoli. I'm out. I put a bunch of random names on there and posted it to create ruckus. I'm thinking I'm out on Fasoli. All right, go get Fasoli. What a lame, lame move. This is what he wanted.

No, but he didn't want this because we knew that one. I was excited about it in the night. Go get Fasoli. The second I walked out of the Mostly Sports studio, Fasoli shoved a camera in my face and was like, what do you think? That's what did it to me. I was like, my watch. Can you bar Fasoli from ideas?

Yeah, this is... He might have to get a twitter suspension you're not allowed to think anymore please it's dangerous i was no more ideas i was eating my lunch he just showed up said what do you think oh that's 100 i said of what yeah he said the list i said what list and then he showed me and see if fasoli was smart he would have made a list that actually had it. One of the biggest ifs of all time. I'm out. I can't even imagine. It's like imagining the size of space.

If there was a second part to this where it's like, there actually is a theme. All right, Mr. Witt. Wasn't me. Oh, he's burying the lead. How do you know what we're talking about? I'm watching the show like I always do when I eat my lunch. I was sassy. This'm saying it like that. That was sassy.

This is why you didn't want to go for us. You want to stay here for the show. No, I did not. You lied to me. It was an hour walk. No, it's 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back. That's what he said. You refused to go shoot something because you couldn't shoot outside the building. Because he had to talk about the list.

No, I did not. And I didn't make the list. Okay. Who made the list? Not me. Why are you out of breath? What is happening right now? Something?

I was literally midi. Are you chewing or out of breath? I'm both. Are you looking like Colin Bickett? Yeah. What's going on? What up? What up?

What up, twin? What up, player? Same beard. What up, cool player? If this was you, you're barred from ideas okay so go find out who it was you you need to yeah and then bring back so we can make fun of that person do you have any theories couple all right okay yeah this is oj about okay hey the glove doesn't fit the glove doesn't fit what are the theories? I will not rest until I find who did this

Say the theory I don't know I said do you have a theory About the list or what it is What? Get out of here Get out of here TJ can you just get someone to pull the

footage of whoever put up the list? Yeah, sure. And we'll just find that. Where did you say it was? Because it wasn't here when I got here. It's not the very front door. It's the glass doors when you walk in. The one I ran into.

Yeah, the one I ran into. All right, so let's just find who. I didn't. Yeah, that wasn't here when I got here this morning. I hope it's the same. It was done while we were on Mostly Sports, and Cody walked into the Mostly Sports studio right as we got done and said, you guys seen this list?

Oh, so maybe Cody. It's definitely somebody in production because there are way too many production guys on the list. Yeah. If it was one of us, we'd only know half of those guys. It'd be great if we put them in. Fortunately, we don't. I would do content.

I'd probably forget Mook. It'd be great if we found this footage and it's just Fasoli. Yeah. It probably is. And then he trips. Oh, fuck. All right. We'll find out.

Well, I mean. What? You like the list? We should hypothesize what it could be. It's 99% nothing. Dick size? Dick size makes the most sense. It does check out.

You and Stevan at the top. But biggest at the bottom. Who's ready to die? Yeah. I don't think Zah's ready to die. Diabetes? Zah said he wants to die when he's 50. Yeah.

He's ready to go. I'm donezo. What? See, Brandon? Stefan wants to die every day. Not sure if Stefan's alive right now. Yeah. Again, I see the connection between me and Stefan.

Got it. It's where Zahn, PFT, or 3 and 4 that I fall apart. I think PFT would be fine with it. Uncle Chops, I mean, he almost died. Evo doesn't want to die. Are you sure about that? You don't know that. Nick Addison for sure doesn't want to die.

He's a guy. Quiggs probably wants to die. Definitely. You don't know who Nick Addison is. Nick's for sure. I know exactly who Nick Addison is. What does Nick Addison do? I could walk straight to him. What does he do? Procure Nick Addison.. I know exactly who Nick Addison is. What does Nick Addison do? I could walk straight to him.

What does he do? Procure Nick Addison. Advertising. Advertising. Right? Ad sales? Yeah, sales. Okay.

I like advertising. He's a madman. He's in advertising. Yeah. Brown hair, beard, good looking guy. Friendly as fuck. Friendly as fuck. Very friendly.

No, too much. Friendly as all of you. Too friendly, yeah. So it's not friendliest people because Brandon's up there. Brandon's up there. I think my reputation on the Yak hides the fact that I'm a friendly-ass dude. I'm one of the friendlier motherfuckers you'll meet. You're a fad.

Huh? Friendly-ass dude. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, you are. You've been acting real fattity um i have another list we should discuss more two lists yeah what's your list tj i don't know why we didn't talk about this yesterday It kind of went under the radar Under the list?

Kind of like someone's trying to hide it Someone doesn't want us to talk about it Did I fall down the pirates rankings? Is it a skill? No When you're on the top of the list You claim it's a skill Okay

You're at the top of the list No leads, yeah You claim it's a skill. Okay. You're at the top of the list. No leads, yeah. You claim it's a skill. This whole show is so cryptic. This is a riddle. When you're at the bottom, you pretend it didn't happen. Oh, God. These are from the mock drafts.

Standings. Oh, my gosh. That's Stephen Chay's name at 57 out of 58. It's only out of 58. A down year. It's only out of 50. It's not 100. 57 out of 58.

Isn't that weird? You got beat by a guy without a Twitter. Three guys. That guy just goes by P-Bandy1. No Twitter. Nothing. And he walloped you. Stephen, last year when you had a good mock draft, that's all we could talk about.

Two years ago. Two years ago. And then there was another one that TJ showed me that he was 708th. 708th. Wait, 708th? Is that real? Yeah. The person tagged me in the tweet. Who's ranking 708th?

What happened? Look at this. Oh, I forgot to mention's ranking 708? What happened? Look at this. Oh, I forgot to mention, too. 708. Oh, my goodness. Che, I think you have to put that in your bio. That looks fake. What?

Why does that look fake? I went and looked. Let me see the other 700-something. No, he did the top 100, and then he said, oh, forgot to mention. Okay, perfect. The footage is coming to you, TJ. Do we have it? Do we know?

Yeah, we do have it. Okay. All right, great. The footage is coming to you, TJ. Do we have it? Do we know? Yeah, we do have it. Okay. All right, great. All right, this checks out. Yeah. And I actually went and looked. Everything over 1,000 was like last year's draft. So, Steven is just –

Steven, what happened? Four for four on the top four. That was easy. Oh, my God. This guy. This fucking guy. I called Caleb Williams to the Bears. 700th.

I called Marvin Harrison the first receiver. Yeah, well, it's crazy. And lookit, the guy who finished 709 filled his out on January 17th. Suck it, Jason Bantle. He beat Bantle, but he literally filled it out three months before the draft. His was April 25th. 708th? I don't like that he represents all of Barstool.

That's tough. I'm going to have to answer for that. Top four. You work at Barstool? Isn't that the company that put out the 708th draft? No, that was Stephen Che. Sometimes you're first, sometimes you're second to last. Oh, no, it was actually, I was wrong.

It was 57 out of 58. 57 out of 58. 57 out of 58. Sometimes you're first. Will you regale us with your championships? I mean, yeah. I won the title in 2022. And then what has happened since? You won?

Yeah, number one. He was number one. But what happened since then that you can't get close? I mean, it's one move that throws everything off. You almost said guessing game. I think you need more fake trades in your mock drafts. I think that's what you need. You should have more.

Ramp those up. Yeah, just ramp them up next year. This just feels like something that should have been addressed. It feels like we're addressing it now. Yeah, I know, but we did address it yesterday. It wasn't. It wasn't on the prep sheet. That's't. It wasn't on the prep sheet. That's fair.

I'm okay to talk about it. I interacted with some tweets last night. Yeah. You interacted with some tweets last night? Yeah, PFT tweeted it, and then I went back, and I had a couple. Well, what did you say? So you've addressed it. If you're not first, you're last.

So everyone finished. Peter Schrager had one of the best mock drafts I've ever seen, and he won. And, yeah, everyone else was finished in second. Yeah, but you could finish third and be very respectable. Yeah. Certainly, certainly. Fifth is respectable. Certainly.

I'd say anywhere in the top ten would be very, very good. I'd take top 50. Top 30. Yeah. Top 700, really. Yeah. Top 700. If I asked you going in, will you finish in. Top 700, really. Yeah. Top 700. If I asked you going in, will you finish in the top 56,

you certainly would have said yes. I would have thought so. But, I mean, hey, I'm not far off. Top 57. But this is your Super Bowl every year. This is your thing. Yeah. Yeah.

It wasn't great. Hand up. I'm not running from it. I had a poor – No, you literally were running from it. You ran from it. You ran from it. You put recipes on the prep sheet. You didn't talk about it yesterday

and then you said I addressed it by replying to a couple. You put recipes but not your mock draft thing. Do you share recipes? Let me ask you this question, Steven. Yes. If you had finished top 10, would it have been on the prep sheet? Certainly. Okay, so you're literally

that's literally running from it i think you need to get proactive and just say it now get ahead of it tweet it out uh yeah i had a very poor showing in the 2024 final mock draft i admit that i own it you don't room for improvement this is tuesday i mean in the grand scheme of things Steve top 57 is pretty impressive. I think we're going to have to next year we're going to have to do like a threshold. Like if he doesn't reach this threshold I don't know what we're going to strip away.

Maybe his salary. Top 40. His entire salary. Garnish his wages. Are you going to do anything differently next year? Like is this changing the way you're going to approach it from now on? Some say you were distracted.

Distracted with what? I don't know. Basketball. Yeah, basketball. What did you do well in 2022 that you haven't been able to replicate? Jeez. Well, we'll find out that 2022 is probably, like, the draft that everyone nailed. Yeah.

Not as much as I did. Oh, God. Did you have a child in 2022? No. How many times were you vaccinated in 2022? Good question. Oh, wow. At least a couple.

Okay. That might be it. You got to get vaccinated again. Sign me up. Do they have a new one, Steven? I think they're coming out with new ones every other week now. Really? I'm in.

How many you had? COVID vaxes? Yeah. Five? Five? Yeah. How? How is that possible?

Five in four years. I didn't know they made five. A five-timer. I stopped at one. I did, too. I only got that one. I got that one to get an MSG. I got the cheapest one that only made you do one.

And then I was done. Yep. Five. How many times have done. Yep. Five. How many times have you gotten it? Four. All right. I'm also at four. Any less is irresponsible anymore.

Yeah. But now when I get it, it's kind of like a relief. Yeah, but also now COVID knows not to fuck with me. Yeah, sure. Because I've beaten it four times. Well, they want to start something. Five times. By the way, Che's not the only Barstone play on this list.

Oh. Blutman 21. Oh. So Blutman's a guy. So Blutman's our new guy. That's our guy. Blutman's been the new guy. No, but he's the guy.

Yeah, he's the guy. He's our draft expert. He's been the senior draft analyst for months. I know, but he's like. He's the guy. Yeah, he's the guy. He's our draft expert. He's been the senior draft analyst for months. I know, but he's like. He's proven it. We don't need anything under Blutman is redundant at this point. We only need one guy.

Right. Listen, if you're going to streamline a business, you've got to find the redundants and eliminate them. Yeah. It's just inefficient is what it is. Yeah. Having multiple draft guys. Brandon, no more mock drafts for you. All right. Yeah. I'll wear that, though. Yeah. That's big of is. Yeah. Having multiple draft guys. No more mock drafts for you.

All right. Yeah. I'll wear that, though. Yeah. That's big of you. Yeah. I'd argue it's nice to just keep him around for morale.

Keep me around? What's the... You flipped that so quickly. I was just like... What's the way too early mock draft look like next year? That's a good one. It's out.

It came out... No, no. I'm not going to read it. What does it look like? Shador. Shador Sanders. Number's out. I came out... No, I'm not going to read it. What does it look like? Shador. Shador Sanders. No, no, no. Let's get serious.

Let's get serious. Alright, Steven. Well, we've addressed it now. I have the footage of the list. Oh, wait. What do you think for Sully? That's him, right? Oh, wait. Guesses? What do you think, Fasoli? Oh. Yes. That's him, right?

That's him. Okay. He doesn't have a list in his hand. He's doing his job. Mm-hmm. Feeding time? Plate. Okay.

Who is this? Oh, that's... Paige? No. No, she's got papers, but she often has papers. She does. Women do got papers wait a minute well we gotta get page in here get page in here i'm on page wow but is she just gonna cop out and say she was someone else hung it up she made copies for

some facility saw her do it oh he's getting his camera. Oh, Fasoli's ready. Yeah, the camera's ready. He's very guilty. He didn't put it up. Fasoli did this. Oh, man. Fasoli, no. Interesting. I think we need Fasoli and Paige, don't we?

Someone grab Paige. You want me to go get her? Yeah. Go holler. Oh, look at this. Who's that? That's me. I saw it right away

Oh that's interesting That you came into work that late Oh yeah I came in like 11.15 Was outside at Starbucks today for like 45 minutes Just catching some rays Really? Yeah It's nice out today

It's been nice So nice The sun has been helping me Hold on rewind Of course Rewind TJ I like being able to watch this shit what just look at page there's a page double whoa whoa whoa whoa oh this is oh wait a second it's like

also nobody's letting mook in no he's got his foot in the door oh okay who is that damn i look good yeah it's a good pose yeah there's there's Mook's career right there, foot in the door. It's interesting. What the fuck? What are you talking about? Also, you said you look great with 100% of your face covered. Yeah. That's the best I love.

Make that your profile picture, please. Yeah, right there. Yeah. I look fantastic. Oh, my God. Here I am, foot in the door. Foot in the door. Foot in the door is a good thing, Mook.

Yeah. Get your foot in the door. Sure. Once you get in the door. Foot in the door is a good thing, Mook. Yeah. Get your foot in the door. Sure. Once you get in the door. Where's Paige? Crush it. I got fasoli, but I don't know. We don't need this fucking guy again.

Here he comes. So you saw Paige put it up. My lunch was right there. It's always back to lunch. I lunched. I lunched while you were just eating lunch. That was in the morning. I carry my camera with me all the time.

But how many lunches have you had today? Address the lunch. No, no, that was me putting in the fridge. My lunch. Yeah, you see, I put it in the bag and I put it in the fridge. What percent of your day is lunch? The yak. But this was well before the yak.

I don't know, I was putting it in the fridge. All right. What was putting it in the fridge. All right. What was the lunch? Hawaiian Bros. We have a theory that while Paige physically put it up, you put her up to putting it up. Correct. Who has the knife in the kitchen in the dormitory?

He's trying to make a clue reference. It's not a dorm. All right. Thank you. Get out of here. I don't know. I don't even know if I have the power

to do that. No. It would be great if Fasoli was just an evil mastermind. knife in the kitchen in the dormitory. I like you being his boss.

In those two rooms. Sending him away. Yeah, the kitchen in the dormitory. Now what are they up to? Fasoli's been acting very weird all day. Well, he's a weird guy.

He is a weird guy, but he's been being weird. He's been refusing to do his job. He's just been weird. So you've been catching Rays, Mook? Yeah. Are you sure? Getting some sun. You had a big softball game tonight.

Big game. 930. I heard it's the best team you're playing. No. Who are we playing? I heard they have multiple bat bags. Oh, no. Not the bags.

I don't fuck with that. It's probably Spikes, too. But who's on your team? Paige is in the green screen room. Oh, she's doing that? People you know? Yeah. Yeah, it's like Max, Hank, Memes.

McCarthy. So are you like Barstool? Is that the name? No. No, it's like Max, Hank, Memes. McCarthy. So are you like Barstool? Is that the name? No. No, the Pugs. Pugs. I got Pugs. I got Pug.

Is it co-ed? No. No. No. I'm like 70% though. My hips are on fire. What position are you in? Mook was actually, the report I got, Mook was a baller.

Three for four. I could play. Incredible, yeah. I could play some ball. Is there like stats to follow on the internet? I don't know. P for four is incredible. I could play some ball. Is there stats to follow on the internet? I don't know. Pug was keeping book. Maybe we can get some advanced analytics out at some point.

Paige? I don't know why I get pulled into everything. Because we watched you put up the list. I know. Who gave you that list? Are you dressed like Kyle in Big Cat? What the fuck is going on? Enigma.

No, I, Facoli approached me. Did we watch the whole tape? Yeah. First of all, he asked me this morning, he was like, do you have a list of everyone in Chicago? I was like, yeah, the Chicago distro list. So he took that and created the list and then told me to put it up

that it would be fun. What did he say? Did he say it would be funny? Yeah, he was like, this would be hilarious. And then on... Don't let him decide that. God damn it. He's done. He's got to be done with ideas. So if you know me by now, when I

get approached with these situations i actually went into the control room and told zoopy and i was like well now we have to do something against fasoli because like if somebody approaches me with a dumb idea i usually try and twist it to make it funny like giving me non-colored uh nail polish nail polish exactly so at my core i'm trying to fuck everything up but he already fucked that one. Yeah, all right. So, all right. Thank you, Paige.

You're welcome. Appreciate it. All right, Fasoli, get back in here. Do you have another who the ringleader is? Whoa. What do you mean? You've had every chance to do it. We've only had you in five times, and you just haven't copped to the fact that it's you.

A ringleader. A carousel of antics. Well. The ringleader of a list. She just said you did it. I didn't make the list. Oh. She, the ringleader of a list. She just said you did it. I didn't make the list. Oh. She just said you asked for the list.

No, someone asked me to print it. All right, so who asked you to print it? Oh, my God. He's sitting in the gambling cave right now. Is it Jerry? Blutman? It's not Blutman. Tate?

Smokes. Smokes. Oh, how's... Smokes. Smokes? Tough pose for Tate. Blutman, come over here. Tough pose for Tate. Like a fucking deer. Oh, no, Tate. Oh. how's... Smoke. Smoke? Tough pose for Tate. Come over here. Tough pose for Tate.

Like a fucking deer. Oh, no, Tate. Oh. Like a deer. Oh, no, Tate. Oh, no, Tate. That's how Meek Mill ate those french fries. Tate!

Tate. Oh, man. They got the show on in the cave, too. He's about to hear us. He looks like two baby saplings. Oh, no. Oh, no. Tate.

His little headplings. Oh no. Wait, when's it going to hit? Tilted. He's like, no, they're not talking about me, right? I got approached a week ago for this concept. This has been a week in the making? But it was during a busy time and I said, we can't do that.

The film fest. You could have. We were busy. Wait, Nikki smokes? Who approached you? Which one of those three? You said, I can't put names on a list and post it on a door right now. I'm stupid.

It's a busy season. I fucking swear right now. Also, who's coming to Fasoli for... We had other content going out, Mark. There's different... Mark? He first named you. He first named you.

Shit. Okay, so who created that? Was it Tate? He kind of looks like Mook. What? None of those three. Blutman? Was it Blut...

All right, get Blutman in here. God damn it. This is, I love how, like, here's a little tip. Don't use Fasoli for your big idea. Anything. Don't run by. Crack the case. Don't run a concept by it.

Yeah, and Fasoli's not on it. What do you mean, what? He always does this. Whoa. Whoa. Got me. Well, it took took you shouldn't have gone for solely the least i what can you do he was there on friday approached him he's like yeah let's do it what what why what is it i don't know don't do this there's nothing there's zero substance. The idea was just to... Something made you do it. Why did you do it?

Because Tate was looking for ideas to talk about with Mark on the Tide Show, and I gave like 30 ideas, and that was one of them. Now he's overcorrected. Oh, look at that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Kill, buddy. Kill. Oh, fuck.

That's too much. Oh, yeah. My God. Yeah, he's going way too far. Zero substance. It was just a fun office experiment to get the people talking and get them confused and whatever, and it worked. Why Titus last? I don't know.

Honestly, here's what happened. Fasoli and I were in a 2K room. Oh, man, a real meeting of the minds. Yeah. And he was like, he couldn't figure out how to generate a list, so I showed him. Yep. So I showed him. Yep. So I showed him, and then. He put the number second.

And then I had a meeting with Tate and Cody, so I had to go with that. And then I came back, and the whole list thing was happening. I don't know why Tyus is last. Sorry, man. It means nothing, but sorry. I'm devastated. So Frasoli didn't know how to make a list no that's like the lit that he googled like random order generator and scrolled like eight times it was

like blotman i don't know how to how to get this going that was the most fun part of it all i mean the fact i'm just thinking of like the solely sitting upstairs being like so how the fuck do you make a list? What do you start with? And so I'm being like what about one? Oh shit Alright, thank you Bluntman not now. I'm too busy Fazoli said yeah goodbye yeah during the busy season we can't be too stressed out well let's talk if we were going to take

ideas away from Fazoli maybe an idea suspension yeah I mean that was that's bad yeah it was a bad idea it was a really bad idea I it would have been an okay idea if the list had a meaning to it if it was a bad idea. It was a really bad idea. It would have been an okay idea if the list had a meaning to it. If he came in here and was like, yeah, I put up the list, figure out what it means.

Then he'd drop some clues throughout the day. Maybe that's the joke. Maybe it does have meaning and we still can't figure it out. No, I don't think the two of them. No. I mean, one guy couldn't figure out how to make a list. Think about that sentence. Fasoli couldn't figure out how to make a list.

He did choose to put me. Fasoli using AI to make a list. Yeah. A list. How is Nicky Smokes sweating under his armpits yet so cold he needs a blanket? Also, Nicky Smokes, that clip of Rochelle Ryan being like, I want to fuck Nikki smokes. Oh, no.

When did that come out? What? This morning, I want to say, on Out and About. She was basically like, yeah, I like Nikki. You should make him do it. Out of anybody at Barstool, my top two would be Dana Beers. He's like my ultimate. Go on.

No? No, no. This is, you got to fight Joey for him. Oh, really? Yeah, that's his number one. So no, he likes all the Bustin' with the Boys. Yes. Taylor LeJuan and them, they're all hot too.

Oh my gosh. Could you imagine all of us in like Nashville? Yeah, they're all hot. Yeah, Taylor. But like guys that like work at Barstool like Dana Beers is my type of guy big tall kind of husky goofy just

beer drinker like it was at this moment I thought I was gonna be number two yeah yeah yeah who's your number two Nikki Smokes yeah I love Nikki I mean we might have to end the interview you don't know what you just he's not gonna not going to be able to fit through the door. His head is going to be so big.

I love it. Nicky Smokes. What about Nicky Smokes? Have you talked to him? Oh, yeah. We've hung out before. You and Nicky Smokes? Yeah.

I went with the guys one night because I played in that fantasy football league, the Mikey Betts League. It's crazy. I remember Mikey tagged all of us that were in the fantasy football league this year. I just saw Nicky Smokes and I was like, who's this? And I clicked on it on Twitter and I was like, oh, he's hot. And I think I just said something cheeky to him. And oh my gosh.

And then when I was in Chicago. Oh, that Miami mouthpiece is hot. Oh my God. Nicky Smokes. You didn't smash, did you? No, we didn't smash Would you have her now Maybe not that night

Oh man God damn it Yeah He said Dana Beers is like here comes me Yeah that seems to be logical To assume Nikki smokes Sucks

Yeah he's got to smash now right That would be good content to assume. Nah, Nicky Smokes sucks. Yeah, he's got a smash now, right? I mean, it'd be good content. Yeah. Would you watch? Yeah.

Jerry's been trying to get him to do OnlyFans porn. Yeah, I think it's another smart idea. Yeah. Another revenue stream.

Who does OnlyFans? Jerry's trying to get Nicky Smokes to do OnlyFans porn. Which would be what exactly just make you smoke fucking Nikki smokes filming himself fucking on only fans you need a twist like what would make them stand

out I think it's just Jerry standing behind him being like where's my money direct yeah that's a good twist Jerry would be a great pimp yeah for sure he's got pimp energy I would watch Jerry directing porn for sure for yeah maybe we don't energy. Yeah, I would watch Jerry directing porn. For sure, for sure. Yeah, maybe we don't even see Nicky Smokes fuck.

Right. It's just Jerry putting him in positions. Yes. All right, Nicky, work the feet now. Yeah. But yeah, that was a bummer to see. Huh. Michelle Ryan

wants to fuck Nicky Smokes. It ain't right. It ain't right, Brandon. It ain't right. There we go right, Brandon. It ain't right. There we go. What are you wearing today? I'm wearing an Ozzie Smith shirt. Short stop.

The Wizard of Oz. Do you have normal shirts? These are my Roosevelt shirts. I love these shirts more than life itself. I love wearing these shirts. Yeah, right. They're comfortable. They don't make me look fat.

Sounds like a free, free, free ad. Oh, well, he asked me't i didn't volunteer the information i love and he said do you have normal shirts as if to indicate this isn't a normal shirt it's not it's a playful shirt i like i'm a playful guy but it also was a collar huh it's like both it's a hybrid i'm a playful guy but you like wearing collared shirts. I'm whimsical. You are whimsical. Whimsy. And you're not going to steal my whimsy from me. I would never try.

You've all tried. No. Not today. What's that book you have next to you? That's a 2024 Farmer's Almanac. Okay. They still come out with those? They do. Is that a Thomas Jefferson joint?

No, it was Thomas somebody else. Every year since 1792. And what do they say? It looks like rain on September 16th. Well, they say that this, in fact, 2023 winter, I was just looking at it, it says it's going to be cold and snowy in Chicago. I think they got that one wrong. And they've got it being cool and rainy in the summer.

So I'm banking on it being not cool and rainy. I'm excited. Where did you get it? Blutman got it? Blutman went and got it. So I ordered one for Mostly Sports because we had talked about it, and Blutman went and got one on his own. And what about next year?

That'll be next year. What about this fall? That'll come out this fall. What else is that? Is that the 2024 or not? This is 2024. 2024 by Robert B. Thomas, founded in 1792. Give me this.

Don't fuck with my almanac. I want to look at it. It's by Rob Thomas. Robert. It was a good joke, though. It's not a joke. It's who it's by. It's by Rob Thomas.

It was Rob Thomas. Featuring Santana. I don't understand this. It's an almanac that predicts the weather and gives you some astrology and when to plant things. It just says, the Rob Thomas almanac, you open it up, it just says, it's a hot one. Man, it's a hot one. He'd be right. The weather outside is beautiful, though.

Wonderful day. This should be an outdoor yak day. Do we have the capabilities? No. Do you all want to do the cookout in May? Yes, very much. Should we do that on a Friday, or should we do that on a Monday? Probably on a Monday.

What about Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday? Could do it on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, but I think a Monday or a Friday would be best. You can have an extended weekend either way. Logistic question? Yes. Oh, here it comes. You guys do mostly sports until 1030?

How long is the drive back to your house? Well, we could quit mostly early. You could do a pre-tape mostly. Mostly's done. We're not doing it anymore. Oh, shit. Yeah, I didn't know we were going to announce that today. I think we'll be okay.

You guys just do a shorter show and then we'll get there. How long does it take? Spending quick picks to 17 minutes? From here right now and at about 10.30 it would be a good time to go. I'd say it takes about an hour and 10 minutes. Hour and 10. I'd say about an hour and ten.

About 70 minutes. I have to go to Madison this afternoon. Really? Why? You can come by the house. We'll have porridge. All time future. I don't know why. Porridge? Oh, it's an hour and four minutes to my house right now. You are whimsical, man. I really am. I was a whimsy.

Porridge is a whimsy. No, I have an all time future me issue I agreed to this three months ago you say yes too much yep was a college thing uh it's the Buckingham's which is like the I don't know Titus did you have this Ohio State's like an award show for all the sports at the end of the year oh that's oh congrats no that like my favorite thing Are you like the MC? I'm the MC I thought it was gonna be like You know 50 people or something It's 900 people

It's a lot of people Oh shit A lot of people I have to give a monologue It's probably pretty formal too Yeah Do you know the winners? I do have the winners

But I don't I forgot them already Do you have to memorize it Or do you gotta teleprompter? This is easy. Nick, write a monologue real quick. No, I'll do it together. I wrote some stuff down.

You want me to come cold open? Give him a quick five. Yeah, we could. Could you do a tight five? Yeah. Some crowd work. That would be funny. I got an NIL joke in there.

They'll laugh. They're going to be wasted. That's good. Is it a party kind of thing? On a Tuesday? We can pregame that. On a Tuesday? Yeah, I got a joke about how I love Madison so much I wouldn't go to Louisville for $750,000.

Oh, that's good. That burn joke, you know? Topical. That's good. I don't get it, but I'm laughing. They had a player. They had a player. A player went there.

Yeah. Use context. But I definitely would if I was a college student. Go somewhere else for $750, there. Yeah. Use context. But I definitely would if I was a college student. Go somewhere else for $750,000. Yeah. Because that's the most money in the world. Without a doubt. Yeah.

Not even a, it would be way less than that. I'd go to the University of Iran for that. Yeah. It's a good idea. Yeah. Is there a University of Iran? Probably not. Probably not.

There are smaller universities inside Iran, but not the like iran community or something yeah well i think there's like city names that they could use probably not just iran true that would be awesome if they had those if they're a university of iran and we played them in college football just fucking beat their ass i kind of want to get like a sweatshirt oh we'd beat the shit out to breeze i want a university of tehran good logo yeah nice colors oh that's that looks pleasant oh i love their motto Shout out to Breeze. I want a University of Tehran. Good logo. Yeah. Nice colors. Oh, that looks pleasant. Oh, I love their motto. I can never mentally acknowledge that other countries have colleges.

Right. Agree. Even like Canada. I'm like, no, you don't. It doesn't make sense. And they have college sports. That's what I was going to say. Do they have like sports where they get really excited about?

Like college wrestling in Iran? Is that a thing? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think about it. What? Why did you turn to Kyle? He's a college wrestler. Did I?

I don't think I did. Nice turn to me. Oh. I don't know. You asked that matter-of-factly. You're like, surely Kyle would know. In Iran, what's the college? Well, he was talking about it.

Yeah. Every now and then, they'll up with like a Canadian football game and like this is the biggest college football. Canada has a college, like an NCAA. Yeah. Yeah. The U something. The U.

I'm pretty sure Michael Greer went to Guelph University. He did. Guelph? That's a sound. Harry Potter. Yeah. Guelph. That's where he's from.

Yeah. Yeah. He's a Guelph boy. They have some decent basketball teams, I think. I mean, TPN is going to be good this year. Carlton Ravens won like 11 out of maybe everyone else just sucks. 12, 19. I didn't realize he was from Canada.

I didn't know he was Greer. He's an immigrant. Yeah, I didn't know that until I think we brought it up a couple weeks ago. But I was late to the party on him being from Canada, being Guelph. It makes it very funny because he's the most American guy we've got. He's our number one American. I think so. Easily.

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Great job. Yeah. I didn't feel a flaw, to be honest. No, no. It was not even a trip. Nope. No hiccups. No hiccups.

I'm bringing my uncle Doug up. What? I don't know that he's ever been north of Nashville, Tennessee. Oh, my God. Doug. Doug's going to rock. He might have been, but I'm bringing my uncle Doug up. Is it just spelled D-U-G?

Yeah, I can see that. It might be. It might be. So I'm bringing my uncle Doug up to go to Wrigley in May. I'm either going to pick the Pirate Series or the Brave Series, May 16th or May 23rd. So I'm excited about that because Doug's never been there. He's a lifelong Mississippi resident?

Lifelong Alabama slash Mississippi. So is he deep south, like deep south? Deep, deep, deep south, yeah. Are you asking for tickets? I'm not, but – Okay. We'll try to get Uncle Doug. I'm not, but for the Pirate Series and the Brave Series,

midweek Wednesday or Thursday. Now, is he a good man? A great man. Remember the Izod alligator? He has it tattooed on his chest. What? Can we get Uncle Doug? Is that a Southern move?

I need a picture of that. He's the most unpredictable alligator on his chest. Was this before internet and he needed a picture of an alligator for a tattoo? No, I just think he liked the shirts back in the day. They were hot. He got alligator on his shirt. Was this before internet and he needed a picture of an alligator for a tattoo? No, I just think he liked the shirts back in the day. They were hot, so he just got it on his chest. Is it like the size of the eyes on? It's where, so when he takes his shirt off, it's like he's wearing it. That's LeCoste.

Oh, I'm sorry. I said eyes on. Oh, wait. Is it the same? Oh, eyes on. Eyes on is something different, I think. Okay, what's that alligator? Is the LeCoste alligator?

Well, whatever. It's one of those alligators. That's not a southern man. Paris, yeah. It's one of those alligators. That's not a southern man. Paris, yeah. It's one of those alligators. Anyway, that's on his chest. And I don't know if he can do the gauntlet. It's a Parisian move.

He's fat and 66, 67 years old. Can he come hang out? He might hang out. He's a young uncle. He's my funny uncle. He's a lot funnier than I am. He's a good dude. That's a low bar.

Can he be at our day where we go out there? Can he take us on the boat? Well, I've got to give him his own day out there. Yeah, yeah. Does he have any other tattoos? I've never seen one. I think that's the only one. Now, I would bring my Uncle Donnie, but he refuses to come to Chicago or New York.

Libs? Libs, yeah. We're going to San Francisco. No. I'm probably out. Libs, yeah. What about San Francisco? No. I'm probably out on that one, too. And pretty much anywhere outside of Clay County, Mississippi, is a no-go. If we got fart eliminated on Uncle Doug Day, would he be good? I think he would destroy it.

Yeah. He would love that. One of my earliest memories is him just farting me out of a room. We were watching Superman 4 on TBS, and I just remember having to leave the room because it was so fart. He farted. He farted. That's a skill to fart another man out of the room. Well, I was but a boy.

I was probably nine years old, and the fart was dominant. We got to get Uncle Doug here. I can't wait to meet him. That's why I wanted to tell you guys because Uncle Doug's coming to town. Yeah. I don't know if he's ever been to north of Nashville, like I said. Maybe he has. Maybe he hasn't.

How do you think he'd do on the gauntlet? He was an athlete in his day. I think he'd do good at cornhole. Soccer, I can't see his legs moving in that direction. Forward? The wiffle ball, he'd be fine. The football, he'd be good. And basketball, probably no chance there.

Sporkle could take weeks. Is Uncle Doug educated? Oh, Uncle Doug's a very, very bright man. It's my mom's brother. What does he do for a living? He was a brick salesman. A brick salesman? Yeah, I don't know what he's...

I don't know what he does now, but he's selling bricks to house builders and whatnot. I don't know what he does now. He he's selling bricks to house builders and whatnot. I don't know what he does now. He's like a real brick by brick. Yeah. I have a meat facility. Yeah. He's one of them.

And I'm excited about it. I wanted to bring my family to New York, and I only brought my mom. But now I'm in Chicago. I want to bring everybody up and see everything. Is he apprehensive at all about Chicago? No. I said, do you want to come to Chicago? And he said, fuck it. Yeah. He said, fuck it. I'm in Chicago, I want to bring everybody up and see everything. Is he apprehensive at all about Chicago? No, I said, do you want to come to Chicago? And he said, fuck it, yeah.

He said, fuck it, I'm in. And I'm flying him up, and I said, where's the nearest airport? And he said, I don't know. And once we figure that out, we're going to be good. Where does he live? He's asking you for – Around the area of North Alabama. Is he asking your closest airport? No, I asked his closest airport.

Oh, his. Is he a nomad? No. But he has since looked, and it's Hunts of North Alabama. Is he asking your closest airport? No, I asked his closest airport. Oh, his. Is he a nomad? No. But he has since looked, and it's Huntsville, Alabama. Okay. Love Huntsville. Huntsville's a beautiful place. Great city.

Rocket City. Yeah. What's their minor league team? The Trash Pandas. That's fun. Oh. That's fun. Isn't it right?

The Rocket City Trash Pandas? Now, are they actually pandas or are they raccoons? I don't know. I don't know why I said that. I think Trash Panda? Now, are they actually pandas or are they raccoons? I don't know. I don't know why I said that. I think Trash Panda is a... No, I know, but is the logo a panda in trash? That's a raccoon. That's a raccoon.

Raccoon. That is a raccoon. That's a raccoon. I like that. I like that. I need one of those jerseys. Is that their actual name or is that... She looks like a badger.

It's badger-esque. That's a raccoon. I saw a raccoon the other day in badger. It's badger-esque. That's a raccoon. I saw a raccoon the other day in the backyard. Did you? Mm-hmm. I like seeing a good raccoon. In the middle of the day, though? No, it was at night.

Oh, good. Middle of the day, you don't want to see that? No. You don't want to see that raccoon? I haven't seen a fox. I saw a possum the other day. Nice. Cool.

Thanks, man. I haven't seen a possum either. Where'd you see a possum other day. Nice. Cool. Thanks, man. I haven't seen a possum either. Where'd you see a possum? Cleveland. Nice. Cleveland possums hit different. That's a good spot to find possums. Yeah, he was hit different.

He was chill as fuck. Was he doing the possum thing, or was he? Nah, he was laying. I don't like how people say, oh, it's actually a possum. No, they say, oh, possum. Silent, huh? Yeah, oh, possum. Oh, possum. Nobody says that. It's possum. They. No, they say opossum. Silent O. Yeah, opossum.

Opossum. Nobody says that. It's possum. They'll play dead on you. They'd get a better rep if they had good tails. Well, they're ugly. Oh, they're so bad. They're ugly as hell. If they had better tails.

If they had furry tails, they actually would be cute. Oh, they're not ugly. No, but they're quite ugly. To a tail reveal. That face is bad. That's a great looking possum. To a tail reveal. That's a great looking op. That's a bad face. That's a great looking possum. Do a tail reveal. Is that the only marsupial in North America?

Which one? Which animal? Do an opossum tail reveal. No, we have armadillos, don't we? This is an opossum versus possum. Is that a marsupial? Wait, there's two different animals? No, no, no.

They're all the same thing. They're the same. They don't live in the same continent. Yeah, but we... Come on. No, you're being... They're the same. You're being...

They're different. You're being cute. They're not different. You're being the same. That's the same thing. That's the same. You're being. They're different. You're being cute. You're not different. You're being the same. That's the same thing. That's the same thing. Yeah, that's just the light in Southern Hemisphere. Look at the tails, Kate.

You still think that's cute? Yeah. Oh, they got bald tails. Yeah, they're gross. Why are they bald? So they can hang on trees. That sounds right. It's something in there.

Oh, without slipping. I think so people don't touch it. Are they dangling? Yeah, it's gross. You ever seen an armadillo in the wild? There are shocking. They move a lot faster than you think an armadillo would. They really do.

Oh, okay. Those are not cute. Okay. Even with a good tail, that's a hideous animal. My Uncle Doug eats brains and eggs. What? What? Pork brains and eggs.

Yeah? Yeah. Are those the similar consistency? Eggs shouldn't go with pork brains. Eggs are normal. You can't hardly tell the difference. That's why they go together. You just think you're eating eggs.

Oh, God. Wait, do pork brains taste like eggs? No, the similar look in there. Why not just eat eggs? Eggs, in theory, disgusting. I'd rather... Yeah, I don't like to think about it. Aborted fetus.

Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. What percentage of seven-footers make the NBA? Oh, good question. Twelve and a half. Less than... Twelve and a half.

You think single digits? Less than two? How many seven... Whoa. I think there's more seven-footers than you think. I don't think so. Where are they keeping them? I've never seen one outside of a basketball court.

I don't know if this is correct, but I was told it's one-sixth, which is about 16%. That's pretty damn good. Yeah. Being next to a seven-footer is shocking. Chenoweth, when we went to the- 2,800 people? That's it? I would have guessed more.

Chenoweth is- Yeah. That is a low, low amount. Absolute monster. I didn't know they were that rare. A lot of them are fucked up. That's very rare. It's like a disease to get that big.

The odds of being that tall and being able to fucking walk without hurting is high. It's like how wiener dogs get bad backs. Yeah, you can't live in a place without steps. Sure. Wow. The majority of them, I think, are along this region of the Nile. When I watch Giannis, I think my lucky stars. I wasn't afflicted with that.

It's quite a burden. Yeah. Holy shit. Can you imagine? Quality of life that guy has. It would suck to be a seven-footer and not be in the NBA. He might be the only seven-footer with a regular face. Kevin Durant.

Is Kevin Durant? Kevin Durant claims he's not seven feet tall. Who? Kevin Durant's seven feet tall. He slouches on purpose. He doesn't want to be known as a seven-footer. Oh. He's like 6'11". He slouches on purpose. He doesn't want to be known as a seven footer. Oh. He's like 6'11".

He slouches. Who's the most handsome seven footer? Oh. Chris Stops? Kevin Nash? Chris Stops is actually pretty handsome. Kevin Nash is handsome. John is handsome.

Steven Adams. Steven Adams is a good looking guy. That's a good answer. Yeah. Steven Adams is a real good looking guy. That's got to be awkward. John is a good looking guy. Yeah.

Yeah. What year would you 100% be guaranteed to get away with murder brandon personally oh good question like going backwards like if you go back in time pick a year oh somebody said the most ridiculous malicek oh it was malice yeah come on malicek said 2004 no you're getting caught no you're getting caught well in the south unfortunately it was probably like 1968 yeah 100 chances of getting away um no it's it's gotta be it's gotta be before it's gotta be like 18 whenever dna testing starts in the 18s right when did i said it at least the 18s i thought like 19 we're talking about 100 yes no one was getting caught ran 1910 no people were getting caught,

but I'm saying I could get away with it if I had to play it out. Like the 80s. Yeah, I think somebody said today. Who said they could like now? Well, that's a problem if they did say that. Yeah, that's an issue. DNA testing is what would...

Cameras everywhere. Yeah. Cameras everywhere, DNA testing. Card tracking. So like late 70s. Wasn't that like the height of serial killers? Well, it depends on like, do you have an actual motive or is this just. Right.

Random. Random ass like just pick her. Yeah. Then that would be way. You just drive out to Boise, do it. There's no connection between me and. I feel like, yeah. And like the 1970s, you just pull up to someone's house, shoot them and leave.

Right. That seems too late. There's really cameras though. Yeah. Right. That seems too late. There's really cameras, though. Yeah. Wonder what decade has the most unsolved murders. That might be your answer. Probably single-digit years. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, at some point. What's the latest year? In 1888, were they even looking? Yeah, like in the Wild West, you shoot a guy, you get on your horse. The second you're out of the town limit, they're just like, fuck, we can't do anything about it. Yeah, they put a warrant out for your arrest and that's it. They send somebody after you two weeks later.

The only proof of identity is you saying your name. So you can change it. Yeah, or just don't say it. Oh, shit, that'd be cool. Yeah, are you Nicky the Kid? No, my name's Ed. No, sir, I'm Ed. Yeah.

How did they know? You just fake everything. You could start over whenever you wanted. I'll embarrass myself in this town. I guess I'll- Yeah. Yeah, but you would get like, what's smallpox or typhoid fever. Oh, yeah.

You wouldn't make it past six years old. Oh, God, no. Neither would you, Brandon. Oh, I would make it to at least 12. Brandon, you would have, you would make it past six years old. Oh, God, no, no. Neither would you, Brandon. Oh, I would make it to at least 12. Brandon, you would have... You'd make it to 12.

You would die a father of probably three. Yeah, you're the butcher's boy. Yeah, dysentery would have got me, but I would have had a hell of a 12 years.

I probably peaked at nine and a half. It would definitely be diarrhea that took us both out, though, eventually. Yeah, I think that's what...

That's dysentery, right? Yeah. That's the kill of the hun. Isn't that weird to think about like i think i broke my leg when i was like two that would have just i would have just been weird leg guy you would have been oh yeah they would have just thrown you in the river yeah i just would have walked with a limp and like a weird broken leg for the rest of my life i haven't diarrhea before toilets had to fucking suck or rule because you just go anywhere no i don't you don toilets had to fucking suck. Or rule, because you just go anywhere. No, I don't. You don't have to worry, like, will I make it to a toilet?

No, it's like, I'll just make it right to where I'm standing. Having bad vision would be worse. Also kind of can clean up a little easier, because like, what, your house is just dirt. Yeah. You just take a shit. Yeah, but they would still have areas where they would have, they had designated shitting areas. Right, but if you have diarrhea in your house in like 1850, you just take a shit and then you just shovel the dirt and throw it outside? I think they had wood floors back in 1850s.

No. They for sure did. Not like common people, though. I would say most people had wooden floors in 1850s. 1850s? Yes. I think maybe so. Fuck.

Yeah. There's houses that are still standing today. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. Yeah, I think floors were early. When were floors invented? Floors.

Maybe one of the first inventions. The floors were early. Damn, when were floors invented? I think the guy that invented the floor, he just dropped wood. He's like, wait, that's a good idea. Damn it. That one's bad for me. That's still too late.

I was a little off. I was a little off on floors. Just a tiny bit off. Dude, roofs came before floors, right? You can't have floors without roofs. You had to have shelter first. Floors, yeah. Damn.

I'm not going to answer any more questions. Look up. Wait, wait, wait. What? That means floors came first? What the fuck? How would floors come first? I was way off.

These were actually built. This wasn't just shelter. These were actually constructed roofs. Roofs? Roofs. Roofs. Ruff. Roofs. So an animal has hooves. Roofs. Houses have roofs. Roofs? Roofs. Roofs. Roofs. So an animal has hooves.

Houses have roofs. Yeah. TJ, look up inventions that were in 1850. Floors. Damn it. You said floors were probably invented in 1850 when there was immaculate architecture? I was talking about like regular people. What you were thinking of was like frontier housing.

I knew that like the fucking rich people lived with floors. No, everywhere east of the Mississippi just had floors. Did they? Yeah, you're thinking of like out in the frontier. We had a washing machine. There were washing machines in your house machine just on dirt i was a little off on floors it's a good thing this wasn't the dozen imagine if i had said that i'm awful with years i wrote floors invented i was at 1850 fuck not a trivia guy I mean that

I wouldn't know either No I mean that was embarrassing for me That was Dr. Seuss novel All over again It deserved to be roasted in 1850 Dr. Seuss novel I guess now that I'm thinking about it There's a lot of

There's a lot of architecture The White House Yeah Well Yeah Although burned down right Isn't that the second one There's a lot of architecture. The White House. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although burned down, right? Isn't that the second one?

War of 1812. That's right. But that also was before 1815. Independence Hall. There's a lot of, where we did the Constitution, there were floors in all of them. All the churches in Europe. Coliseum. Yeah.

Charles Corey probably had a floor. Oh, definitely. Yeah. For sure. A lot of floors. God, I haven't heard that name in a long ass time. What about rugs? Yeah.

Carpet. Don't double down. Don't double down. What about carpet? Wall-to-wall carpet. I think carpet came before floor. Not rugs, but carpet. Yeah.

No. Carpet before floor? Carpet might have been their idea of flooring at first. Yes, yes. You're right. Carpet? No. Carpet?

Carpet? Was that on the floor? What about wall-to-wall carpeting? That's still- Give meing? That's still... Give me that. That's still 2000 BC. 1930s. Bang.

I'll be damned. You're thinking of the modern... Carpet? Yes. Floor? I'm struggling and trying to grasp at anything, Brandon. Let me grasp. Let me grasp.

What about ambulances? What? Those were after 1850. No. I like that. Wait, no. That's wrong. No, wait. I'm wrong again.

I'm wrong again. I like it. Everybody throw an invention. Ambulance. Okay. Why did I say ambulance? I wouldn't have guessed that early. All right.

The fork. The fork was early as fuck. That's got to be 500 B.C. Yeah, but think about it like the Chinese were doing the chopsticks. No, but there were other people other than Chinese. All right. Floor. What are you going to guess?

Fork? Fork, yeah. Try to think of an invention before. I would have said earlier than that. I would have been wrong. All right. Napkin. Wait, let's name like three things I would have said earlier than that. I would have been wrong. All right, napkin. Wait, let's name like three things. We have to put them in order when they were invented.

Oh, Stephen, you come up with the three things. We'll put them in order. This is going to be like Bob Hope. This is going to be like Pit. I like napkin. Okay. Underwear. When did we start wearing underwear?

Ooh. Armor because underwear? I think Jesus in underwear? No. I don't think he was. No. I think he was just an. Ooh. Ooh. Armor versus underwear? I think Jesus in underwear? No. I don't think he was. I think he was just an outerwear. But I think pirates wore underwear. How long were dudes free balling it?

A long time, I think. Balls out. But they were just underwear. Underwear might be a new construct. What about toothpaste? We surely used something as toothpaste. That was. No, I don't think so.

They've been using leaves and stuff for a long time. Toothpaste has to be. Hello. Ready. All right. Do you want me to list three at once or one at a time? Three at once. Why can't people list here?

All right. The lottery. That's good. Oh, that's a good one. I think it's good. Curtains. Wow. Baking soda. Oh. Ouch. I have no idea on baking soda. I think it's good. Okay. Curtains. Oh. Wow. Baking soda.

Oh. Ouch. Oh, I have no idea on baking soda. I think lottery's probably the oldest. I could see the ancient Romans doing that. Yeah. Lottery's definitely the oldest. No, I think curtains.

Lottery, curtains, and what? Baking soda. Baking soda. I would say in that order. I think baking soda's last. I would go curtains before lottery. Same. Curtains, lottery, baking soda.

I'm doing lottery before curtains. I think shutters were before curtains. I agree with you. I think the Romans were before curtains. I agree with you. I think the Romans did. When were windows? Good God. Windows were like 1925. Yeah.

Around then. Fought a whole world war with no windows. That was tough. All right. So I think it is. I think it's. No, I think it might be lottery first. It might be curtains baking baking soda, lottery.

I don't know anything. No, I think lottery is way... Lottery feels like it would be first. Nick is right. Romans did the lottery. I don't know, though. Romans probably had curtains. Baking soda, we just know like Arm & Hammer is probably later. Did we invent baking soda?

What is that? That could have just been around. That could have been in the fields. Other than making it for like... Sodium bicarbonate. But what is it used for other than volcanoes? A pre-workout. Cocaine. It's a fridge, not stink.

Stepped on cocaine. It helps muffins fluff up. We always had it in our fridge. Absorb smell. Does it go in the laundry? I never realized what it was there for. To absorb smell. I don't know. Oh, yeah. We just absorb smell. Does it go in the laundry? You put it in your sock drawer or something? I never realized what it was there for. To absorb smell. You don't gargle with it, do you?

Yeah, you can. I wouldn't. Yeah, I think you can. My wife uses it for everything. I don't know. All right, give us a reveal, TJ. All right, lottery. So that's Julius Caesar.

So, yeah, we got that. What about curtains? China. Yep. China. Yeah, I yeah, we got that. What about curtains? China. China. Yeah, I knew it was curtains. Curtains were first? Egyptian. Well, that's probably around the same.

Curtains first. First century. And baking soda? 1801. 1801. Valentin Rose the Younger. Too many names. It's American.

When did we do – so that's just Junior? All right, all right. Never mind. Valentine Rose Junior is Valentine Rose the Younger? I guess. I like the younger. So Tommy Walker would be Tommy Walker the Younger. I like that, Tommy the Younger.

Huh. Oh, that is good. Yeah. You're Tommy the Older? I guess it was kind of not bad foresight for me to call him, make him Thomas Brandon Walker Jr. and then not call him Brandon. Yeah, that would suck. He would suck if he was Brandon.

I don't think he would. Yeah, no, he would. We could call him Junior. Yeah, but just think about it. Like, Brandon, that's such a shitty name. Damn. That's fair. The Slingshot.

Slingshot?ingshot a kite leather the name is my name slingshot kite so the slingshot was used in biblical times yeah very early David did it

the kite we share names that's too advanced damn kites like Asia Middle East oh the Chinese

were doing that in the BCs I think all these what was the last one leather we gotta find more modern ones because everything else is like alright alright Oh, the Chinese were doing that in the BCs. I think all these are. What was the last one? Leather. We got to find more modern ones. Okay.

Because everything else is like. All right, all right. The swimming pool. The hose. The swimming pool. Now you're the modern swimming pool because I'm sure swimming pools have existed forever. Yeah, swimming pools have been around forever. That's just a puddle. That's just an intentional puddle.

What about the above ground pool? Okay, that's a good one. The above ground pool, probably 1924. Which came first, bicycles or scooters? Almost certainly bicycles, right? I would say scooters. It was way simpler. I don't know.

They didn't know how to make wheels small for a while. He's fucking right. This guy, he's got it. It took him a while to make small wheels. Rollerblades didn't come around until last year. No guy, he's got it. It took him a while to make small wheels. Rollerblades didn't come around until last year. No, they had really big wheels. Can you have an old-timey rollerblade? With one big one to one small.

When was the modern swimming pool invented? The first above ground? Wow, you were that close. Philadelphia, 1907. Of course, Philly has the first above ground. Fuck yeah. Microwave is like World War II, right? 1940s?

Didn't we accidentally kill some people? Is it bad if you stand in front of a microwave still? Not anymore. We didn't get a microwave until I was in ninth grade or something. And when we got it, it was like, oh, my God, look at this thing cooking so fast. I remember it. Poor. Yeah, poor.

That's fucked. But wasn't it like you didn't have it your whole childhood, did you? Microwaves? Nailed that one, too. God damn. Yes. Walker's hot. Wasn't this guy standing in front of the microwave with like a chocolate bar in his pocket and

it melted or something? That does sound familiar. And he was like, oh my God. I thought they sent like soldiers out doing something and they accidentally cooked their insides and they're like, oh fuck, we just discovered a microwave. That's probably more likely. Yeah. Huh.

Wait, they died? Maybe I just made that up. And who's the guy with the rock on his chest? When did they invent the uh got the right chocolate in cabinet microwave i feel like that's well they didn't enter invent cabinets till 1976 so but like that i don't know if you guys same but like my microwave growing up was just sitting yeah on the counter like brandon you didn't have one and probably until you were that's correct.

I had one when I was 13. My wife doesn't trust the in-cabinet microwave we had built in, so she bought an extra one. What does you mean trust? I don't know. They'll betray you. She doesn't like the built-in one because she wasn't here when they built it.

So she bought an extra one. She doesn't trust it? She doesn't trust it. Keep an eye on that microwave. Something fishy about it. So I have two microwaves in my kitchen. What color is your in-cabinet microwave? Chrome. So you don't use it? Chrome.

I do, but when she's not around. Do you sneak it? I sneak it. Would she be offended if she walked in and you were using the in-cabinet microwave? She would tell me, hey, don't trust that. I think she walked by it one time and it sparked up inside, and she decided that it's going to kill us all. Do you guys preheat your microwaves?

No, certainly not. Is that a thing? You can't do that. You preheat it. Ice cream hack that was heating up the spoon before you do it. You ever microwave two things back to back? Put the spoon in the microwave. Just do your spoon, get it, and then just, yeah.

I'm doing 20 seconds with the tub. Me too. Mook, you got to try the spoon hack. Try it. I will. I'll give that a go. I haven't figured out my microwave in my house, so I just hit popcorn for everything.

I never knew it. Did you watch it? Yes. Yeah, just guess. Like pasta, popcorn. If you ever microwave anything back to back, that second one is just so smooth and wonderful. So preheating would make a lot of sense.

Yeah, you got to preheat your microwave. I'll hit popcorn, then I'll stop it, put in some popcorn again. I've been nuking DiGiorno's like twice a week. Oh. I don't like to hear that. Wet, soggy pizza? That pizza's almost liquid. That was maybe the most depressing thing you've ever said.

I got a few more in the chamber if you want them. Oh, man. I've been on a DiGiorno kick. Just a wet pizza. Yeah. You don't have an oven? I'd have to move the couch. That makes sense.

Oh, man. Just nuke it. Yeah. All right. I'm not trusting a microwave. Oh, overalls who's this guy oh

oh these are roofers the roofers I wonder if he knows the history of the roof mhm are we playing roof ball oh we are this summer

mhm we have an invitational we still gotta find a house yeah can't use mine roof's too high we'll find a house there's got to be a

good roof someone do the better help ad read please Kyle you do the better help ad number six. Maybe you thrive around people or maybe you need some more alone time. Therapy can give you the self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. I think a lot of people here at this office have benefited from therapy. Feel free to share your experience, guys, maybe after this. Maybe it's not for you personally, but I bet you it is. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

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to get 10 off your first month that's betterhelp h-e-l-p.com slash yak flawless great job a few a few smudges no you did a great job thank you when did therapy start when when did that become like an official job? Therapist Like did Caesar have a guy? No The Sopranos, Tony's usually Yeah, that popularized it, I bet I would guess like 1930 They were shrinks before then, right?

So like they were not actually doctors Yeah, they'd shrink your little brain Early 90s Sigmund Freud And he just told everyone oh you want to have sex with your mom yeah yeah that was literally his answer every everything like oh you're sad oh just have sex with your mom how come it's never the dad it's never you want to unpack that no i'll do it at BetterHelp so you're mad that

no one's telling you maybe you want to fuck your dad I've just never heard that spin before maybe that could be helpful to some people I suppose totally it's crazy too that Sigmund Freud came up with that before like MILFs

because MILFs are a recent creation but yeah when were milfs yeah when did milf whenever mincey came american pie right yeah was that the first time milf was said i think so yeah popularized popularized the graduate oh yeah that's true yeah she was that was a milf she had a kid oh maybe not but i think milfs are kind of loose with that now mil MILFs don't have to be moms? I don't think so. I've been watching some videos online, and it doesn't seem like the women I'm watching have had kids.

Well, that's MILF versus cougar as well. Yeah. They just say MILF. That's just an ILF. MILF is any woman over 25? Yeah. Pastor Prime, definitely. Role playing is MILFs.

Fake MILF. Yeah. What the fuck? You ever had a kid? Way too real porn. This pussy's too tight. Did the movie American Pie coin the term MILF or did it exist prior not safe for work

Laurel A. Sutton bitches and skanky hoebags what is that 95 what is that a movie is that no that's a paper

MILF was one of 87 different terms for women collected from undergraduates in a largely linguistic class at Berkeley in the spring of 1992. So it was a California late 80s, early 90s.

California comes up with a lot of that shit. We're doing MILF now? MILF. Bitches. I thought it was an American pie when they started. That's what we were saying, but then Jay said the graduate. They didn't say him. And we should just say Ben Mintz did come up with Milf, Man of Football.

That's true. That is his thing. That was great when he was like, everyone's jacking my style. What was the name of that book? Bitches in Skanky Ho Bags? Yeah. Well, can I buy that? Did you guys see that Mintz dapped up Zion?

Yeah. He made him everything good. Well, we didn't see it he just he just told us that reported it yeah it was a tough series but trey murphy and zion got a ben mince that so yeah it's good wait why is he down in new orleans because he y'all don't require him to do the same stuff that the rest of us have to do okay um you put it that way yeah what is it mardi gras no the motherfucker just went down there because he wanted to go down there but he said he had a isn't it jazz fest or something yeah that's like the right it's a music festival so he actually has to be down there you're saying

he gets special treatment oh boy am i kirk describing him today was very funny he's like he is so exhausting he's like i talked to him for 30 seconds like man i got a busy week i got a pelicans game on monday yeah yep that sounds like mincy pack schedule yeah he was he was almost stressing how busy this week was yeah the pelicans game monday night yeah a monday basketball game really sets the tone for a stressful week. Poker tournament, the Pelicans game. Grind set. Mm-hmm.

He said he's going to be exhausted. It does have Jazz Fest, which is a music festival. He'll go and say that. Did we not get Wake Up Mincy this morning? Yeah, wait. Come on, dude.

Come on, dude. I thought he was doing it every week. Come on. I normally am like, whatever, Mincy's doing whatever, but he literally,

he's just, he is on vacation this week. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. I've been, I've been, but he literally, he's just, he is on vacation this week. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. I've been, I'm just. There he is. I'm going to text him, ask him. That looks like a long-haired White Sox Dave in front of him.

It does. Yo. Gotta touch. Dave rebranded and moved after last week's hair episode. Starting a new life. I think we need to bring back his weekly schedule that Dave had him on. Submit it to us. So he's been playing in these celebrity poker games.

Yeah. Is there any clips coming from that? You'd think there. Jose Alvarado just gave me a high five. Sitting by Currency the Rapper. These are tweets from a 40 year old or a five-year-old block you oh these are two separate things oh it's not supposed to be flock up yeah just gave me a high five well wait he's also in a celebrity basketball game this week

oh no no he's in the he's in the louisiana congressional i think it's senate versus representatives and he kept on saying, could you believe? I never thought I'd be in the government. You're not. I don't think this is spoiling anything. Because I don't know if it's going to happen. I hope not. Yeah.

Should I say it? Yeah. He asked John Rich to do another Mincy Investigates, so he wants just john rich to film it for him of him oh john rich investigate yes john rich to do another spying on him well i was here one morning and he had john rich like coaching him like teaching him basketball and running him through drills not this morning oh tate had mincey wait who are you two oh john rich sorry you're right you're're right. Kind of similar.

My bad. He had Tate teaching a basketball one morning here. He was really trying. He's doing the Louisiana tour this week. Where are you going to watch it? I don't know how... I understand Celebrity Poker Tournament, but they're having a Congressional Basketball.

I don't know how he fits into that. What team is he on? Senate. He's on the Senate. He does view all of this as work. He's like, I'm working my ass off. Content for him is experience. Yeah.

It's experience. I just got to live my life. Oh, the content was crazy last night. So he's got a busy week because he had to watch a basketball game and then play in a basketball game. Yeah, but on Wednesday. So Tuesday's nothing. Rest day today.

Thursday also a rest day. Friday's when Jazz Fest really gets going. He'll go and give us a tweet from there. And then Saturday might be – he might have to work on the weekend. I'll say it. I want his life. Yeah. I've said that for two years. Y'all have called me crazy.

How long do you think he would last if he had to do a real schedule? How long would any of us last, first of all? No, I'm saying like even at parcel. I'm willing as an experiment to do like a week as Mincy. Or I just do whatever the fuck I want.

You're going to establish a respected I will do. Yeah, I'll just do for a week, just as a part of work, I'll just do whatever the fuck I want. You're going to establish a respected idol? Freaky Friday? Yeah, I'll just do, like, I'll just, just for a week, just as a, you know, as part of work, I'll just do whatever the fuck I want, and he can come in every day. We'll just see what happens. It's a mostly sports. But to keep it true, you can't film it. Yeah, I won't film any of it.

I won't tell you guys what I'm up to. 30-second Twitter recaps, that's fine. Yeah, every so't film any of it. I won't tell you guys what I'm up to. You can do 30-second Twitter recaps. That's fine. Yeah, every so often. We should do the solitary confinement for Clemmer, but it's just Mincy having to work a week. Nine to five for five straight days. In a room where he's just like, put a microphone in there, be like, all right, your show starts now.

Yeah. Can we have him edit anus or another podcast? Yeah. See how it comes out. All right got an answer okay damn what that's a long answer emceeing andy frasco super jam tonight at house of blues that's his friend that's his friend that's a musician playing in louisiana state senate for state hours of of representative charity basketball game at PMAC at LSU tomorrow. Yeah, Baton Rouge. Jazz Fest second weekend, Rolling Stones Thursday, seeing J-Rad, et cetera, was feet on wood for game four Pels last night.

Now, again, if I were to go home for a weekend. So that's three concerts and two basketball games. He's a rock star. It's like a bachelor party week. This is like, yeah, he's going on dream. He's doing it. He's on vacation. He's on vacation, yeah.

If I were going home for a weekend, I would have a schedule very similar to that. I would go to a game. I would go to this. I would go to that. And that's my weekend home. This is vacation. In his defense, the last time he worked on May 1st, it was a disaster.

Oh, that's true. Tomorrow's a one-year anniversary. Maybe we should have him on and see how the emceeing of Andy Frasco suits. Wait, that's the guy that was on the episode. Yeah, that's the guy that was standing beside him. So when is that No way. Yeah, that's the guy that was staying with us. So when is that emceeing?

Is that today? The first. Or tomorrow? No way. It's tonight. When the clock strikes midnight. Yeah. Oh, they're going to be celebrating.

Again, he's going to his friend's show. Should we get him like a chip for one year clean? He sent me the poster. His name's on the poster. Also, that's probably not one year clean he sent me he sent me the poster his name's on the poster also that's probably not one year uh he relapsed yeah just coming in there's no way yeah four months now he just walks in and slaps the table. Look, MC by Ben Mintz. Oh my god, what is he doing? What is he doing as an MC? Who the fuck knows?

It's a concert. Why do you need an MC for a concert? What does that do? What is that? Wait, when do you MC at a concert? I've never been to a concert with an MC. He's the hype man.

What the fuck? That one's funny too, but again, the lawmakers in Louisiana are holding a basketball game. He's playing on the Senate team. Yeah, what does that mean? How'd he get on the fucking team? He's on the Senate team. They're probably trying to use, like, they probably think they're going to get to Dave's money or something.

But he doesn't. A, he doesn't play basketball. B, he's not political. C, he doesn't play basketball. I'm going to stay up for him. It sounds like he does have a busy week. This is not a busy week. This would be a dream week for any of us chay this would be

like if you went to like bucks training camp right and like uh fucking disney with your kids in the same week jay i'm emceeing something tonight i'm driving up emceeing driving back and back at work tomorrow and i'm doing pmt when i get back at 1130 tonight. Oh, God. That's fair. You're a hard worker. But that's – Well, you back down in a hurry. That's a busy day. Yeah. He's MC.

Yeah, would Mintz's week make a busy day? No. No. It would be a packed day. Yeah. It would be a fun day. It would just be a music – it's Lollapalooza is Mintz's day. Hiring.

Yeah. I have to walk from one end of Grand Park to the other to see this set. It would be a fun day. It would just be a music. It's Lollapalooza. It's Mincy's day. Hiring. Yeah. I have to walk from one end of Grant Park to the other to see this set. Mincy's day is if he came into the office, played pickup basketball for a half hour, and then went to Lollapalooza. That's his week. That's the whole week. Do we have the tracker? Yeah

Where's he at now? All over the south What a fucking week I don't know why It's just now dawning on me But this is Yeah I know You've been saying it

For a really long time I guess Now that he's Technically under my supervision It's really Starting to Set in time, I guess now that he's technically under my supervision, it's really starting to set in. Looks like he's at a big house with a pool

right now. FaceTime. FaceTime. He's in a swimming pool. Please be on a raft. It looks like he might be on the back porch or maybe at the pool. It's a busy week. It's a busy week. Please be on a raft. He looks like he might be on the back porch or maybe at the pool. All right.

You want me to FaceTime him? It's a busy week. Yeah. It's a busy week. I hope he's on a donut raft. Just grinding. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.

I'm emceeing this pool oh the content's crazy in this pool just did a cannonball hey uh where are you I'm stepping out of the infamous coffee shop where I had that dozen

where I had that little dozen last year are you at a pool hello are you at a pool? Are you at a pool? Did he leave his keys at a pool? Where are your keys? Put the phone in the mic. My keys are at the house two blocks away.

Okay, that has a pool. Yeah, the key did that. Yeah, I have a pool at the house I'm staying at for sure. Yeah,'s it the same house i lived in last year in uptown nolan how's the uh water temperature down there of the pool i hadn't jumped to the pool yet but uh i'm sure it should be all right we got a beautiful day here and you know uh good to i'd like new orleans kind of the way new orleans works is it pretty much shuts down after the second week of the Jazz Fest. This week we have a pretty packed Clem County. This is the week I try to get down here.

Yeah, you've got a packed week. I'm going to need a belly flop video. You want a belly flop? I want a belly flop. Okay, I got it. You want it? I'm only two blocks away from the house, so I can get back there. Yeah, by the end of the year. I want a belly flop right now. I don't know how clear I can it. You want it? Do you need? I'm only two blocks away from the house, so I can get back there. Yeah, by the end of the hour.

I want a belly flop right now. I don't know how clear I can be. I want a belly flop. I can get you one in the next 10 to 15 minutes. I want it right now. Well, it's going to be hard to get. Get getting. Get getting.

I mean, I'm a seven-minute walk away from the house. Run. Go. Go. Run. Run, Mincy. Run. All right Go. Run. Run, Mincy. Run. All right, we'll send you a Zoom link.

We're going to send you a Zoom link. Do that, but I have one quick question. How'd you end up in the Senate basketball game? Oh, yeah. Because I'm – hang on. No, no, you're going the opposite. He went back in the coffee shop. I'm in the Senate basketball game.

I'm from Monroe, Louisiana. My buddy's dad is uh that i'm real close with the senator and asked me to play get to the belly flop all right i'm headed there man i'm briskly walking but i will say one of the greater ironies uh getting slayed in the basketball the charity government charity basketball game on may 1st is not lost on me. Yeah. A year later.

It's pretty funny. Okay. Pretty funny. All right, less talking, more belly flopping. I'm headed. All right, we'll send you the Zoom link. He's the other cameraman. Yeah, do you have someone who can hold your phone?

All right, I'm going to have to find somebody on that. Yeah. All right, we'll send you the Zoom link. I'll do that. All right, go. I'm going. All right, bye all right go all right bye bye bye i like that we caught him getting his morning coffee at 125 p.m. put just a little pressure on him he starts to freak out i didn't track the irony of him playing in the game on me he's saying just like may 1st came back around yeah yeah just like the irony look at it may 1st again that i'm doing i think what he's

saying is like i'm doing this thing that's like i was canceled but now i'm back in politics southern politics how does that yeah no southern politician ever uttered that word no he's just i still don't get why he's able to be on He's running pick and roll with David Duke Why is he able to be on the Senate's team? I don't know It's like if the Korean Olympic team asked him If the Senate could get ringers, why would they get Ben Mintz? Right, he doesn't want to play basketball Get Stromile Swift

Yes! Yeah, I was going to say that Get Stromile Swift. Yes. Yeah, I was going to say that. Get Stromile Swift. Get Tyrus Thomas. Yeah. Oh, dude, he could jump out of the gym. Tyrus Thomas? Maybe the representatives did that, and Mince has to guard them.

It's going to be Stromile Swift. Hey, Mr. Swift, let me tell you what I did last year. You got dunked on. So, TJ, will you send him the Zoom link? Send. All right. And so we'll end the show with the belly flop. Well, he's not going to be able to find a cameraman.

All his friends are probably working. I don't know if he can physically belly flop. He can belly flop. If there's one thing that he ought to be able to do, it's belly flop. I don't have that much faith. This is going to be when someone asks him later, how was your day? You're like, it was fucking crazy.

I had a full day on the act. I had a belly flop. I had a little belly flop. Yeah, he's going to probably be late to the concert. Also, he must have the richest friends in the world. Yeah. He's getting extra houses with pools. Well, you know, his dad's a senator, state senator.

I want his life, Brandon. I've been screaming that from the mountaintop. Is he number one? I still think the foreplay guys. No, I would trade with Ben Mintz first. Oh, I think the foreplay guys are number one. Mintz is number one for me. But no.

The thing is, it's too much golf. Dude, but they get too much golf. They just get too much golf. Too much flights. Too much golf. That's too much golf. But no. The thing is it's too much golf. Too much golf. It's too much golf. They travel. Mincy does again. We can't stress it out. He does whatever the fuck he wants.

At all times. What he wants to do. At all times. They do what they need to do. They do what they need to do. Which is better. I mean it's golf but there could be too much. But Mincy could do that. Mincy could do that with forward play guys if he wanted to. They couldn't do what he does. Yeah.

And he wouldn't even have to videotape it. Yeah. Just do it. Just play golf. Oh, man. Nick, you want to do the High Noon ad read? Sure do. High Noon.

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It has no added sugar. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you fazoli released his uh list of people he would die for in order oh is that what it was yeah nah he wouldn't have me at darren sproles oh this was yeah no no that wasn't that list what the fuck is this he would die for order dave, any of my loved ones, Tom Brady, Bill Belichick. Pat's players who are meant to be a patriot forever? Yeah.

What does that mean? Doesn't he have a girlfriend? You or Dave, have him die. Nah. All right. I do believe he would die for me. It was one of the first things he said to me in Kyle. Yeah.

Like, if there was someone running at me with a gun, he would die for me it was one of the first things he said to me and Kyle like if there was someone running at me with a gun he would do it and actually now that I'm thinking about it if I die it's his fault cause like he should have been there to die for me stop it how long do you think he would cry

if you died for a long long time I think it would cry? If you died? Yeah. Oh, for a long, long time. I think it would be like little Ann and old Dan where she died of a broken heart after old Dan died. Yeah, I think he would follow you. He wouldn't be able to eat. He wouldn't be able to move. He would just be inconsolate.

He would get a tattoo. Oh, for sure. Yeah. You think it would just be like RIP DK or it would be full face? I think it would be full face Twitter picture right on the nipple It would have to be something

Me with like angel wings It would be big He'd have one of those T-shirts like the graphic tees Actually he should get a tattoo of me and Dave Right now And then just wait until we die to add the angel wings Might as well Rest in power to me and Dave right now and then just wait until we die to add the angel wing.

Might as well. Rest in power. Yeah. That would be funny. He's just weaving. See you at lunch. Mint said a seven minute walk. What do you think?

I got to go soon. What do you think that means? You better hurry out. Oh yeah, you got a nice ride in front of you. Oh yeah. You got to beat the traffic out too.

Oh. Oh. I just got a DM on Instagram from Marcus Celestine. Oh, not Marcus. Oh, no. Do you know who that is? No. He said, I want Brandon on the

softball field. It's the chef. Oh. Wait. What chef? The guy. It's the chef. Oh. Wait. What chef? The guy hitting dingers? Yeah. Yeah. He said it was a big black dude just fucking smoking it.

What? I don't remember. That wasn't on his show. Yeah, it's you saying right now that he sucks. Oh, look, he posted it. No, I... Not these motherfuckers who spend their whole life doing it. That's the guy that's an asshole.

Not me. I can play softball. I didn't. These guys have been giving you way too much. Did you see it? Kyle, did you see the new guy who just dropped? New softball player. Oh, new softball player.

Chef Celestine. Yeah, but... Dude. There's no fun in that. They're just a 300 pound... Wow, that looks... That's a laser. Yeah. I heard he's in Chicago, too. Oh, I'd catch that. It's a 300 pound... Wow, that looks... That's a laser. I heard he's in Chicago, too.

Oh, I'd catch that no problem. That sound. God damn. That could be anybody's voice. I just replied. So he said, I want Brandon on the softball field. I said, done. Anytime you're in Chicago, you can have him any way you want.

Send any way again. I'm going to say oh my god come on here we go that one's not impressive you want to read what I followed up with alright let me just see this

I can't touch it? I don't want you to alright I want Brandon on the softball field. Dunn, anytime you're in Chicago, you can have him any way you want. And I mean, capital letters, ANY WAY. Alright.

That's great. ANY WAY. ANY WAY he wants. Think of a way. First of all, I wasn't criticizing him. Name a way. That wasn't... Forward? Forward.

If he wants you forward, he gets you forward. How does he get me forward? He's forward or I'm forward? West. West. But wet. Wet and west. I want him wet. I don't know'm forward? West. But wet. Wet and wet. I want him wet.

I don't know what a way. I want him southwest and wet. Southwest and wet. Southwest and wet. That's amazing. Southwest and wet. Any way you want. Southwest and wet.

You don't recover from that. Oh, no. We got to get rid of southwest and wet. You don't recover from that. Oh, no. We got to get granted Southwest and wet. You just did a bolo tie, sopping wet. I can't forget these softball guys can see the video. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to get you nice and southwest.

And we're going to wet you up. I'm coaching the eight-year-olds. We have our first game tonight. But there's three coaches. I had never met either of the other two. The third one is a very competitive guy, and he gets mad at the kids and everything in a good way. But he wears a full – he's a softball guy yeah he wears a full form he wears a softball uniforms just the jersey and it'll be something like you know midwest elite or something like that yeah and so i'm gonna have

to deal he's gonna find one of these videos one day and i'm gonna have to wear the pants he doesn't he hasn't to a practice yet. He might to the game, so we'll see. But he seems like a good guy, and he does well with the kids. He wears his own jersey to the game? Yeah. Midwest. Like an elite squad?

Well, we haven't had a game yet. We've only had practices, so he's worn them to the practices. The practice. That's incredible. Men's AAU softball, dude. Yeah. And she said he's having trouble with the practice. The practice. That's incredible. Men's AAU softball, dude. Yeah. And she said he's having trouble with the internet. Can he FaceTime?

Of course. Which is internet, but that just means that he doesn't want his phone, I guess. TJ, why is the chat spamming Roan? We talked about it literally off the top. They want us to play it. Why? Why would I play it? Go listen to it.

They want us to play it. They've seen it. We played it off the top. I mean, we talked about it. The first topic. Yep. All right to play it. They've seen it. We played it off. I mean, we talked about it. The first topic. Yep. All right. All right, so FaceTime him.

Southwest and White. All right. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What are you trying to do? Hold it. Oh. Brandon?

Hey! Alright, that's mine. Alright, here we go. The internet wasn't working at length. I'm setting this up. Okay. Y'all got a view of the pool? That's awesome.

Yep. Zoom in. Paradise. Screen record. Screen record. Screen record. I don't know how to do that here you take hey buddy one sec i good good man i gotta screen record this where is yours brandon i don't know

hold on mincy it's a 14 i said hold on i said hold on i said pretty good hold on i don't add on. I said pretty good. Hold on. I don't have a screen record on yours. I know how. Okay. Or maybe I don't, I guess. Hold on, Mincy.

Hold on. I don't have a screen record. What the fuck? We're just going to hear a splash, aren't we? Oh, wait. Whoops. Type it into the search bar. What have you done?

I'm screen recording, but where the hell is your screen record? You don't have it. Oh, wait. Whoops. Type it into the search bar. What have you done? I'm screen recording, but where the hell is your screen record? You don't have it. Somebody else face him. What iPhone is that? Why don't you have screen record? Swipe down from top to bottom. I did. Type in screen recording, and there should be a setting to put it in. Where do you type in screen recording?

Mooc, help him out. Don't. I feel like y'all are exposing my phone for, help him out. Don't, don't. Yeah. All right. I feel like y'all are exposing my phone for being a bad phone. It's a fine phone. It's just my messages are sitting there. What's up, dude?

What's up, dude? He, like, fully just doesn't have screen recording. He doesn't have screen recording. Somebody else FaceTime him. Dan, you FaceTime him. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him. Come on.

I have it if he wants to FaceTime me. All right, Mince, we're going to have somebody else FaceTime you. Settings. We're going to have somebody else FaceTime you. You're watching a YouTube video. Settings, Control Center. No, I've already hung up. Somebody else. All right, FaceTime him. You're watching a YouTube video. Settings, control center. I've already hung up. Somebody else.

FaceTime him. You got his number? Yeah. Okay, then you just do it. You FaceTime him. He'll wait forever. How's he going to film it? He's got it set up.

Oh. So he's definitely taken a tanning chair cushion and, like, propped up his own. Yes. I'm screen recording now. I got my shirt off. I know people are giving a cheap thrill here. Okay.

All right. Set this up. Is that a good view of the pool? What are the chances it's going to fall before he does this? We good? Yep. Yep. All right.

Y'all ready? Yep. All right. Wait, is it going back view? Yep. All right. Y'all ready? Yep. All right. What, is it going back for you? Oh, God. Oh, is that some ass crack? What's in front? This would be bad for us if he drowns.

Would it? No. Yeah. That was not a horizontal. I told you. That was not a belly flop. He didn't go horizontal. Right. Why was not a belly flop He didn't go horizontal Right

Why didn't you belly flop? Mince do it again That's not a belly flop He just ignores us and swims the rest of the That's not good Well I missed it. It was in a notification. Oh, no.

I've got to prepare for that. Oh, no. I love Mookie so much. That was terrible. I'll do a second one because that was unacceptable. All right, go. Round two. He just wants to have a little fun.

He's sandbagging. He wants us to watch him. Yeah. Oh, it sounds pleasant. Yeah. It would be nice to be there. Take a vacation. I told you.

He's not rotating enough. He's terrible. He doesn't have the motor. Oh, he has to do his fall. Guy doesn't know how to belly flop. No. Jesus Christ. Thanks, Vince.

All right. Vincey. Oh, he's kind of just chilling in there now. Yeah. Oh, that sounds beautiful. Jesus Christ. Thanks, Vince. He's kind of just chilling in there now. Yeah. That sounds beautiful. Wait, don't. Just put it down and see what he continues to do. We're just going to hear splashing.

Woohoo! One more. Is he just swimming? Walking back now. If he does do another one, I do want him to say woohoo. Woohoo. Slow walk, isn't it? I think he's gassed.

That was kind of refreshing. It wasn't a belly flop. Just let him talk to no one. Okay. Should we play the wrong... No, we talked about it. I'll play it on the outro if people want to no one. Okay. Should we play the Roan? No, we talked about it. I played on the outro if people want to see it. Play on the outro.

He eviscerated Kevin. He killed Kevin. I think we covered it. We covered it at the top. They want us to shit on Kevin or join Roan or shit on Roan or something? I think they want us to acknowledge that Ben Stiller started it all with yes, and we did that. Yeah, we did.

We did a great job. Killing Ben Stiller. What all with yes, and we did that. Yeah, we did. We did a great job. We've done it more. Killing Ben Stiller. What happened with the wheel yesterday? Dry. Dry, all right. Let's do it again. This would be really bad if it's wet for me. Oh, no.

You're good. We're good. Hold it. Why is Mousetrap on there? I've been saying that. Do you guys want to do a draft on Friday? Yep. What's Friday?

Friday is... Friday is something, right? Friday is the Star Wars murder mystery. Oh, that should be fine. But that's... Yeah. Yeah. Should we do a draft on Friday?

On Mostly Sports. Watch Mostly Sports Friday for the Star Wars murder mystery. I'll be... You know you have to be there, right? Yeah, I know. I'll be there. I'm going to do some, like, fuck shit on Friday. You're going to do some fuck shit?

I don't know. You ever do a case race? Hey, we haven't done a fella Friday in a while. Oh! That's what we've been overdue for. Be-wha. We're not going to put together a case race in three days. Case race is what we're overdue for.

We are overdue for it. We do have to do a case race. But we need to bring people in for that. I have a meeting about our next case race in 20 minutes. I have an idea about the next case race. We should do... So I think we should do it in Vegas. Oh, that's awesome. Three days from everyone.

Love this. Yeah, but not now. Her Christchurch Inn. Deeper in the summer? Love this. Yeah, the hotter the better. You know what I would like to do since we're tossing ideas out? Can we get Kyle in a balloon or what?

Yes. We fucking abandoned that. All right, Friday we're going to get him in a balloon or what yes all right all right friday we're gonna get him in a balloon and we should do a fellow friday yep i need submissions for fellow friday though same i got my i'm dry i'm dry please dm me on instagram any fellow sitting on a fellow for a minute i do have a fellow but he's got like 200 000 followers but i still will show him to you guys we can grandfather him in too if they've gained followers since we last had one. This guy who makes his own sweaters. He's in.

That motherfucker's in. I got co-dog hunters. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with him. I'm real proud of his work. He went to Pittsburgh and he made a sweater for himself. I have a weather guy.

Very excited. Fellow Friday, Balloon. Yeah. I have a weather guy. Whoa. Very excited. All right. So fellow Friday, balloon Friday, and please send me some fellas. All right. Let's booze Friday too. Yeah. Yeah.

Booze Friday. I got you, Kate. I got your text. Tomorrow. It's the act. It's the act. It's your straw jack style. Let's take it for a while. It's the act. It's the act.

It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankee Swap. It's the act. It's the act. It's up chicken heads? I got some feathers to be plucking. A three piece here for KFC and soon they'll kick the bucket. No palace in Chicago

and no crib up in Nantucket. So I don't see why KFC is doing all this clucking. You got lap but still you think you're Mario Andretti. You won't win the race just cause your pace is slow and steady. I'm not a battle rapper

and this isn't my spaghetti. Free falling on the charts no one really sounded petty Stuck your neck out when you wish that you had been still Doughy ass body, boy you look like you got bread peeled Always number two so I have to leave him lead filled Cut him out so bad it might remind him of that pen deal Shit on Lena Dunham, now you're looking like some fresh milk

You don't exercise but your career is on that treadmill Don't get shit confused, yeah don't get it misconstrued Frank the Tank is now bigger and skinnier than you Man, Nate's more likable, Dave's more bright than you Your guests jump to PMT, is that surprising you? Check their bank accounts, like, you could compare I don't know what's more deluded, Kevin, you or your shares Your career's the trajectory a boomerang takes

Quit the combine, couldn't make it through the rat race Yeah, dudes in last place with his stupid ass face Shoot me on radio with your boomer ass taste The GM of comedy is actually a clown Just like GM almost got the factory shut down Nothing corny as some bloggers trading words in the booth But even KFC knows that part has a kernel of truth But have another meltdown and tell us you were kidding

Rewrite the history to spin it how you're winning Go get caught up in the hype, screaming all up in the mind. Your show's a hockey game, bro. They only watch it for the fights. Left out your divorce, that's not the ammo that I needed. Because in reality, it's all the fans that's getting cheated. You step to the throne, try messing with Rome. Man, fuck KFC.

He should have left it alone. Hey, talk your shit, bro. Damn. KFC don't want to see me. All the chickens we eat is actually real KFC. Get them wrong. see you tomorrow bye