The Yak - Mintzy is the Gift That Keeps on Giving | The Yak 3-9-23
Episode Date: March 9, 2023HOORAYYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up.
Hello.
It's the act.
Today is March 9th, 2023.
And Nick is dead.
Yep.
He's dead.
Poor bastard.
Taken out by mold.
What a great run.
He really did.
He had a good run.
I hope he's not actually sick.
How sick is he?
The mold has gotten him. He seems very sick.
I don't know.
Is he staying at his dad's, though?
Yeah, but you know Nick.
Nick is not a...
He'd come in deathly ill just to please us.
He had the shakes yesterday. Yeah. Looking at him up close, he was like... Just be. Yeah. Just to please us. He had like the shakes yesterday.
Yeah.
Looking at him up close, he was like.
This could just be part of the wife bit, though.
He could be fucking his wife right now.
Or he could be fucking Brandon's wife.
I think that's unlikely, but it's possible.
What if you saw him on the train, like at the train station tonight?
As you get off, he's getting on.
What are you doing in Jersey?
That would be troubling.
Put in some bets.
It'd be fine.
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
Reminder, no yak tomorrow.
College basketball.
Massachusetts will be live gambling.
And what's going on now?
We got Rutgers up.
Rutgers is playing.
I have the Miami game on, but we can put the Rutgers game.
He's in the booth.
We're going to have – look at TJ.
Can I just raise a –
That bucket hat.
You guys need this.
You need it.
You get Purdue on a silver platter.
Yes.
You got Miami on.
There's nothing better.
You got TJ and Rutgers.
Mississippi State's playing the most important game in 10 years.
I said we could switch it.
Oh, yeah, put that on.
Let's put it on.
You just said not to put it on, Brandon.
Let's put it on.
I thought I was doing a thing.
Let's put it on.
What channel is Mississippi State on?
ESPN.
Or the SEC Network.
Wait, TJ, your Knights are playing now?
It's got it on in there.
Oh, well, do your thing.
Don't worry about us.
If the game gets close, we're going to have TJ come in and sweat it out.
It's been close the whole time.
It's halftime, right?
25, 28 at halftime?
Yeah.
Old-fashioned Big Ten slugfest.
Oh, a little bucket-tapping halftime show.
Also, shout-out to the stoolies in the booth.
I love when we've got visitors.
Hello.
Hello.
Yes.
Hello.
Hi, gang. I was wondering who they were
covid mask i see get her out of here oh fuck it's probably the safest thing you can do in this building in general yeah i mean we just did not breathe in our just did explain that
nick is like close to death yeah i was like depressed for three months from covid yeah
yeah i'll do the ad thing. I'll do the ad.
Yeah, I'll do the ad.
Wearing it.
I'll talk about Robo.
I'm wearing it every day.
It's a cool guy shirt.
There's never a time where I'm not wearing Robo.
That's your best one, too.
That's your favorite.
That's your cool guy shirt.
You don't know why?
Why?
It's an XL, baby.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
Triple.
This is an XL.
I realized I was panicking when I did the triple XL.
I'm a 2X guy, but I can squeeze into an XL, and this is an X right here.
XXXL is just too much fabric.
I'm just like you guys.
I just wear XLs.
We're all the same.
Me and you, Sass, we're the same.
This is a medium.
Go ahead.
Do the ad.
I thought I was.
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They got the best joggers in the game.
Nobody's wearing them right now, but Big Cat wears them often, so do I.
I'm such a company man, I actually bought some more rowback joggers.
Hell yeah.
With my own money.
Oh, you did?
Did you?
I did.
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Cameron Matthews just missed two free throws for Mississippi State.
I don't want to watch it.
I will not be able to yak if we watch this.
Let's watch Rutgers for the first half.
Yeah, put on Rutgers for now.
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What do I do?
Sneeze.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
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Ray Dad.
Rare Walker dub.
Rare.
Why?
People say that, right?
Yeah, a lot.
It's like the...
A suspicious mouth.
What is it?
What's the rhinoceros?
Is it a rhino?
The gray rhino?
The white rhino?
The white rhino.
It's a rhino that's almost extinct.
Yeah, it's the white one.
White rhino.
Oh, the lowland rhino.
Brandon Walker dub.
Yeah.
We don't procreate some more dubs.
They're going extinct for Brandon Walker.
Hey, Ron, did you get...
Did you get sass drunk yesterday?
No, sass got me drunk, to be honest.
I don't know if I would say that.
Sass came into the gambling stream.
We did some gambling with sass. It was fun.
There was a moment where I was having
a flashback to a case race, though.
I was like, what's going on with you? It was case race
like. In what way?
Where was it? He just came in talking
shit to everyone like Danny was. My boy.
Security guard Danny was sweating out a game
and Sass came in for the last
five seconds of the DePaul game.
He's like, fucking A-right
DePaul. Well won, right?
Second shots at Mr. State.
I love how you drink
like a costermonger. Yeah.
The fuck is a costermonger?
Who sells gourds on the street.
What?
They don't get much time to drink, but when they do, they do it aggressively.
Oh, they rip it?
You are a Coster Monger the way you fucking drink.
Yeah, I see it now.
Mm-hmm.
You defined it for me.
I see a picture of a Coster Monger.
Went to a bar after the act.
Yeah, because we had time to kill before Boyd died, and I wanted to get drunk.
Mission accomplished. Got very drunk. Mission accomplished.
Got very drunk.
Sure enough.
Yeah, we got-
We drank during the show, too.
Oh, yeah, that guy drinks.
You're right.
That costermonger.
What are you, reading books?
Where'd you come across a costermonger?
You know, one time I-
You on some Mark Twain shit?
Maybe.
The fuck did you find that?
That's weird.
That's a great word.
Poster.
What, they sell pumpkins and shit?
I actually don't know.
I just know it's like an old-timey profession.
Pumpkin accord?
No, is it?
I don't think it is.
When was the last time you said it?
Was it just sitting around in there, or did you bring it up recently?
Yeah, one time I had to remember different old professions, and that was one.
Coster monger.
Name a couple more.
Like a blacksmith.
A tanner.
Obler.
Blacksmith makes sense.
Haberdasher.
Yeah, street seller of nuts and vegetables.
You were right.
Gold.
Boards and what have you.
It's also named a coster.
These guys are just fucking
ripping it
getting drunk
fast as hell
do they still exist
I don't think so
the gourd business
is still
isn't that one
it's like
funeral homes
custard mongers
or
session proof
on the side of the street
the people selling
the veggies
on the road
that's what I was picturing.
Yeah.
Like an older version of them.
Huh.
What's your guys' favorite type of bar?
Like what's it laid out like?
Best.
Fucking best type of bar.
Okay.
I like the Folly.
I think it's in like East Village.
The Folly?
What is it like?
I don't describe it to me.
It's brown.
Immaculate. Okay. Is it all British pubby or is it like? I don't describe it to me. It's brown, immaculate.
Okay, is it all British pubby or is there TVs? I don't know.
I'm bad with that shit.
I like a bar that has a main kind of Irish pubby setup,
but then there's also a back area,
like a spot you can go to. You can kind of just chill. I love a back area, like a spot you can go to.
Yeah.
You can kind of just chill.
I love a back.
If you like get it with your friends, it's like, all right, this is going to be great.
Like, oh, yeah, we got a great time.
We're going to run up.
I love the corny, extra spacious sports bar or sports restaurant.
That's all.
Yeah.
Like, well, like what's an like you mean, like a Buffalo Wild Wings?
Yeah. Something like that.
Yeah.
Or like a local one.
I love a real dark bar where the bathroom is dark and the drunker I get, the hotter I get.
Every time I go to the bathroom, I'm like, you're on one tonight, girl.
Us men are doing that too, though. Really?
Yeah, in our heads.
Reapplying makeup on top of the makeup we already have.
We're killing ourselves in the mirror.
I really do.
What's the best bar you've been to not in a city you've lived in?
For example, I love that LSU bar.
Which one?
Fred's?
Oh, yeah, Fred's.
That's like a perfect bar for me.
That's a huge bar.
I love extra.
I want to be able to escape and hide.
I love Santa's in Nashville.
You can still smoke inside.
And it's got only the good singers are allowed to do the karaoke.
So it's like free great concert.
And it's just, it's real dark.
How do you get on the karaoke list?
We go there around?
Where?
I mean, you have to be a good singer.
How do they know you're a good singer?
I feel like if you get up and you suck, you're quickly like, okay, next.
Like you're not allowed to do the whole song kind of thing.
I went to a place in Atlanta called Northside Tavern.
That's one that I think about often.
It was so much fun.
It was a total dive bar.
Dave Grohl actually the night after
came and played a whole set there.
Live music, dive bar, cigarettes.
Ski ball machine in the back, maybe just one or two.
I also want a bathroom that I want to puke when I go into.
You know what I mean? Where it's just the smell and the look. maybe just one or two. I also want a bathroom that I want to puke when I go into. You know what I mean?
Where it's just the smell and the look, you're like, ugh!
It makes it easier for you, the grosser it is.
Yeah. That's a true
die bar if the bathroom, just the sight
of it makes you want to throw up.
Brandon, what's yours? Two Brothers?
I'm not a bar guy, but yes, Two Brothers
in Starkville would be my favorite.
Didn't one of the brothers die?
I'm trying to know. The brothers are alive. I heard oneville would be my favorite. Didn't one of the brothers die? I'm trying to know.
The brothers are alive.
I heard one of them died.
You don't even know who the brothers are.
Yeah, it's Steve and Dave.
We don't have Dave's down south.
What is it, Steve and what?
I think I've been to the Northside Tavern.
It's an awesome bar.
I'm trying to see where it is.
I think it's up in Dunwoody, in that area.
Or is it Atlanta?
Atlanta, yeah.
It's in Atlanta, but, you know, whatever.
It's a total dive.
Dives are the best.
The best.
I don't understand how people love clubs.
Like, I'd so much rather spend a long night
getting drunk as fuck in a divey bar
than a loud-ass fucking club.
I know what it is.
I've never been there.
Fucking chicks.
They fucking ruin everything.
Go dance.
I hate crowded bars.
I thought he was going to say chicks.
No, if you can't sit.
Village Tavern?
Yeah.
I hate that place.
What is it?
Village Tavern?
The one where you just have to stand and nightmare.
That's where a lot of people from here go to.
People love it.
Yeah.
Yeah, they should.
The extra seating. If you can sit
maybe even a couch.
But even a bar with a dance
floor, I prefer to a
sectioned club where you're
at the club.
A bar with a dance floor, if there's dancing going on,
it feels a little bit spontaneous.
Also, any bar with a touch tunes.
Yeah.
I would prefer an old school one though
Yeah like where it's
Yeah those are nice they're free usually too
That's old school now
Very old school
I also love a slight theme
What would make you think that's not old school
I don't know that's still
I think the last time I went to a bar was like 2004 2005
Regularly and that was kind of new
At that point
I just like
it because you ones with the cds that would come up yeah touch tunes is great but you have literally
every song yeah I like having it be like it's almost like a challenge like you fought you got
to find a good one in here we only got like 400 songs figure it out yeah I was at a restaurant
that I used to go to that had a fucking jukebox at every table.
Oh, that's awesome.
They were fucking playing it right there, but everybody's just playing different music at the restaurant.
Yeah, that's got to be a little chaotic.
Imagine working there.
That'd be hell.
The jukebox, when I was growing up, it was seven plays for a dollar, and you had to pick A16 or B9 or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That's the old school ones.
That's the old school ones. That's the old school ones.
Yeah.
Battleship.
There's a bar in West Village that I used to go to
that had one of those
and it was free.
And it had really good music on it
and then it like burnt down.
But it was like a basement bar.
Just the jukebox?
No, like the whole bar.
And now it's open
and they just have like a cooler
and lawn chairs outside.
Oh, I like that too.
It's the winter though.
A good bar is just the best.
The Sunset Tavern, I think it's called, in Boulder.
And also just because I was very high on mushrooms.
But yeah, playing darts on mushrooms is fun.
That sounds awesome.
There's actually a bar in, I think it's called Candlelight in Denver.
That bar is really fun.
There's one in Dallas called Double Wide.
It's a trailer.
I like the trailer park bar here.
I like tacky themes that aren't overdone just for Instagram influencers.
They're like old dive bars but with a theme.
And they had a mixed drink all night called a Yahoo, which was a – I love Yoo-Hoo.
And it was a mixed drink.
It was Yoo-Hoo with liquor in it.
I had like 15 of them.
And we had to go do an event at the Red River Rivalry the next day, Oklahoma State versus whoever, the Texas State Fair,
and on the way there in a box.
Oklahoma versus Texas.
On the way there in a van full of Barstool employees,
I had the box of t-shirts on my lap
to give out to the fans,
and I vomited into the box of t-shirts
meant for everybody, I know.
What?
And then they had to put me to sleep
on the back of the Barstool bus,
and the bus driver was giving tours to people at the bus,
and I was part of the tour, and he's like,
here's Kate, she's a content person.
And I was like, hello, nice to meet you.
And I got in trouble for that.
Damn, what a...
But drinking 15 yoo-hoos...
That's gross, Kate.
I got in big trouble.
It was, it came out brown.
It was like brown milk soaked the whole box of shirts.
Why did you drink that many?
I was a Pat.
Has anyone here gone out with Pat?
He's like the worst influence.
According to Pat McCall.
Out and about Pat.
Yeah.
Hey, gay Pat.
I was starting to think of his last name.
Oh, yeah.
I've gone out with a bunch.
He used to be like one of the worst influences on me ever.
Yeah, he is.
Yeah.
He gets fucked up.
Yeah.
And I was out with him that night.
It's good to be with someone who just gets fucked up.
Yeah.
Caleb.
Well, Caleb doesn't apologize for partying.
He loves to party.
I remember I went out with Caleb once,
and it was really late, and I was trying to go home,
and he kept on taking my phone and canceling my Uber.
That's a great move.
Yeah, that's what Pat does.
He was at the hotel at the Super Bowl at the bar,
and it was like four, and he was like,
yeah, we're up from last night.
It was like, god damn, bro.
And he was just completely with it.
Like, my brain would not be able to function
from drinking that much and staying up that long.
He was having, like, insightful conversations.
That's a great feeling to know that you're on a bender,
like a Sunday night going to a bar and getting drunk
and being like, I shouldn't be doing this.
That's how it was yesterday, drinking during the day.
It was fucking awesome.
There was a special little camaraderie to that.
To the other bar flies on like a Tuesday afternoon.
Yeah, that's like the Cubs when they play Friday afternoon.
That's the best.
You go to the bar at like 11 a.m. and you're like, I shouldn't be doing this.
Breaking some societal rules.
Yeah, and you get out of the game and everyone's getting off the train from work and you're
like, I've been drunk for hours.
Yeah.
I was saying it was cute coming into work this morning on New Jersey Transit.
There's a bunch of like middle-aged dads coming in to watch the games.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And they all had their tall boys in the brown paper bags.
You could tell they were real excited to be out doing something.
Yeah, the PGA Tournament.
Oh, it's here now?
At MSG, yeah.
There's a lot of fans coming in.
A shit ton of Marquette fans out there.
There was.
UConn and Providence playing at 2.30.
It's college basketball, baby.
The madness.
Yeah.
Yeah, Sass kept on asking if this was March Madness.
I was like, well, it's March and this is madness.
I just didn't know if DePaul was in March Madness.
Hey, Rutgers came back a little.
They're part of it.
Not to jinx it.
Yeah, they're up.
They're not out of it yet.
Were you saying it to be funny or were you actually trying to figure it out? No, he was trying to figure it out.
Oh, I came in because they had a bunch of food, and I wanted to have the food.
So I came in, I got food, and I sat down.
I was having like a blast, and then I got like really bored really fast.
You were having a blast?
I don't think college basketball is for me.
It's the best time because there's a bunch of different games on.
Yeah.
So college players named Kobebe were named after kobe i think it's at this point yeah i think so right
for sure a lot of shacks too what a lot of shacks shacks really jalen's too yeah i mean a ton of
shacks jalen rose literally invented a name you ever heard him talk about it well his mom did i don't think he did yeah isn't it like the light skin name nobody it wasn't am i tripping that's the white mom name
no it's uh jalen like wasn't a popular name and then when he played for the fab five like now you
can see like every team has a jalen yeah they're everywhere it's a good name it's a great name
it's a good name all skinny what do great name. It's a good name.
They're all skinny.
That's weird to think about.
I've never seen a fat Jalen.
No.
I can't even picture it.
Probably a cool haircut, probably an earring.
Yep.
I'm thinking of Jalen Hurts.
Yeah.
It is weird to think, like, there's names that exist.
Oh, Jalen Rager's dark skin.
Yeah.
There's names that exist that we don't even know yet.
I know.
Coming up with a name.
Wendy.
That was a crazy one when they came out.
Yeah, Wendy.
Wendy just came out of nowhere.
Yeah, it was just pitched.
That was just in a fucking whiteboard session.
Wendy Peppercorn.
Yeah, Wendy.
Filky, oily.
You think some of these names will come back?
For sure.
Like Dorothy.
Ursula.
Ruth.
I love babies with old people names.
They're weird.
Creep me out.
I like that.
All of my kids have old people names.
No, they don't.
Thomas is an old person name.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
You don't call him Thomas?
No, no, no.
Thomas.
No, we're talking about like-
Oh, extinct old people.
Yeah, Ruth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Timothy?
Maud.
No, Timothy's- My name again? Maud. No, Timothy's.
My name is Kim Maud.
What's our old guy name?
I'm going to go home and make a baby tonight.
You say that all the time.
I know I do.
The oldest one from last year.
I'm going to do it this time.
Actually, that'll be good, though, because then we won't know if it's Nick's or yours.
It's going to be a March Madness baby.
Imagine if you had a baby and just came out as Nick.
You're great.
I guarantee you all a baby in just came out as Nick You great? I guarantee y'all a baby in 2023
No, you're
You're kind of behind the schedule
I guarantee starting a baby process
By the end of 2023
Did I guarantee it last year?
Yes
Why not?
Once you got four, who gives a shit?
Get a starting five
Once you have four
Starting five
Get a starting five, Brando.
If they're not going to be in the same age at this point,
they won't even be in the same age group.
He's just restarting it.
You don't want to go back to diapers.
My youngest is seven.
Yeah, I don't want to go back to diapers.
If you're timing it, I had my son during March Madness,
and it was the best to just, even in the hospital,
just something to put on, that background noise,
because you're just sitting on the couch for a long time.
Not for Sass.
Sass would never even be in March Madness.
This is so boring. This was the was the demons here's your new baby oh timeout can i say something really quick yeah remember yesterday when we were playing that game the name game and i asked to clarify the
rules because i was like you guys are not doing it right i had multiple people dm me and say that
you guys were fucking it up and i'm not not crazy. There's a lot of ways to play.
They were lying.
They're idiots.
They were lying.
They did not fuck it up.
There's a lot of variations.
What were the rules that we screwed up?
Say I said Albert Einstein, so he would have to start a name with the letter E.
Some of you were starting them with the letter A name.
You were doing the first name.
I swear.
Actually, I did notice that yesterday.
We can prove that. Who did it? first name i swear actually i didn't notice that yesterday we
can prove that who who did did anyone do it i didn't people it happened multiple times and i
was sitting here i was like maybe i have the rules wrong maybe you can do both and that's why i asked
and then multiple people dm me and said they were screwing i thought y'all were getting loose with
the names towards the end so i couldn't hold that inside why would we get loose with the names that's
literally the only rule i couldn't believe no one else noticed it. I think they were abusing the rule at the end.
Yeah. Name names.
Did somebody start with the
first initial? Several people did.
Several people? Name names.
That's why I think...
Sass, did you be honest? Sass?
Yes. You may have.
I think it was Kyle. I know it was Kyle.
I did it.
I did one?
I feel like it was a lot coming from across the room, but I couldn't hold it was Kyle. I know it was Kyle. Is it me? Which one did I? I did one? Yes.
I feel like it was a lot coming from across the room, but I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sorry.
I had to.
That's fair.
That's fair.
It is fair.
You play it again?
No.
The game racked my brain.
I'm so bad at that shit.
Anything on the spot?
Oh, that was ugly.
Damn.
Michigan coming back a little.
Uh-oh.
TJ.
TJ.
Come on, TJ.
Rutgers has seven fouls.
Michigan has two.
You got to notice that.
How sad are you going to be, TJ?
I won't say a word for probably the rest of the week at least.
Oh, wow.
Does it bother you that Rutgers is in the 1-1 already
and Michigan has two fouls?
Yeah, they're trying to squeeze us out.
This is crazy.
It's Michigan bias, of course, obviously.
There's a foul called every time Michigan goes on offense.
I saw a TikTok the other day.
Jalen Rose is on like the top five.
White skin guy?
NBA baby mom account.
What?
NBA alum.
He's got six kids with four women.
That can't be top five. It was on the TikTok. Yeah, you wouldn't. Baby mama count. What? NBA alum. He's got six kids with four women.
That can't be top five.
There's another TikTok.
Yeah, you wouldn't.
Maybe that TikTok.
Some higher ones.
I think you'd have to get in double digits to get in top five.
You think so? Hey, by the way, how was ThruGod?
Uh-uh.
Oh, no.
What happened?
He didn't come on?
No.
No, just.
He never came.
He no-showed.
Big Cat just. Oh, come on. What would it on? No, no, just. He never came. He no-showed. Big Cat just.
Oh, come on.
What would it hurt?
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
So he did well and.
Just.
Oh, he didn't come, right?
Did you record anything with this man?
I did.
Wait, wait, wait.
You got to tell us.
Was he not what you expected verbally?
It wasn't usable.
Okay. Are you giving him the mean girl statement? I was kind of thinking that when we wasn't usable no now I have to hear it
I will let y'all hear it later I can't I'd rather just not talk about it I really don't want to
bring attention to him or it I just oh you're so you're full should we all be out on throw god I
I I'm not going to tell anybody to be out on anybody.
I'm just saying we had a planned interview.
It did not go to form.
I'm sure he was pretty respectful with you.
No.
Not with me.
Not with a lot of things.
Oh.
Let's go at him, dude.
We were watching his videos.
What the fuck was that?
How would you want him?
Jack is Mr. TikTok around here. And this guy is a big TikToker. And he said he's funny. him dude we were watching his videos what the fuck was that i would you want him i don't jack
is mr tiktok around here and this guy's a big tiktoker and he said he's funny he has a following
let's let's take advantage of it and this whole thing was just throwing a football yeah how does
that translate to conversing it doesn't didn't at all so he was talking shit was he being sexually
inappropriate was he sexually no was. Was he very proud of his
following? It was racism.
I don't know what y'all want me to say.
It was an ism.
Who would have thought that?
It's all my fault.
He told me everything yesterday.
Oh, you know?
That's why I brought it up.
What's going to hurt now that we get...
I don't want to put out this thing.
Oh, no, no, you can't.
He is that, because I'm not going to put the interview out.
Yeah, it just wasn't...
The less we talk about this, the better for me.
What exactly did he say?
What are some things he said that wouldn't hurt his career in any way
that just didn't work with the program?
Why don't you do the High Noon ad?
Why do you do that?
What does it benefit you to put me
It's funny, this is funny
Fuck, I want to know what he said
So bad
This is such a tease
This is the exact same as the Mean Girls Francis situation
No, it's not, it's not
It's not, it's not
I tell you, this is exactly how it ended.
15 minutes in, he said something.
I literally did this.
Oh, that's awesome.
That rules.
It had to have been something terrible.
It made you walk off.
Brandon Walker walked off.
Off your show, you got to kick him out.
You got gotta be like
Get out
No I just
I walked out
And I just
Left it to Jack
To figure it out
I pledged my allegiance
To him too
You might wanna
Take that back
Yeah
I
Is this his first interview
I don't know
I don't know
Probably
He showed a dildo
At one point
What he brought a dildo
Yeah
That kinda seems dope Yeah bring your own Fucking Wait He was Probably. He showed a dildo at one point. What? He brought a dildo? Yeah.
That kind of seems dope.
Yeah, bring your own fucking.
Wait, he was with you physically?
No, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, so he just had a dildo.
High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
It's actually made with vodka, not with malt like other hard seltzers.
It's the perfect refreshing drink for a hot day.
We've got spring coming up.
We have time change coming up, warmer temperatures.
What a great time we're going to have with high noon.
They have big cans of peach and pineapple available.
My favorite flavor is the peach, but I will give you my top five right now. It goes peach, watermelon, pear, lime.
Each watermelon, pear, lime, Peach, watermelon, pear, lime,
and I'm going to go with lemon on the back end.
They have the pear and the cranberry in the limited edition flavors,
and they have kiwi and guava in the pool pack.
Look for High Noon on Drizzly or pretty much every bar in America at this point.
You can go to your local liquor store, your local convenience store.
They're going to have High Noon.
Or if they don't, visit HighNoononspirits.com to find it near you.
That's High Noon Hard Seltzer.
Marsh Madness has been crazy.
You see there's the bracketology right there.
The last four in, the first four out.
I wonder if Throgog would be good at basketball.
I mean, he's a god.
Whatever he says, you can't take away from him being a throw god.
Right.
Separate the art from the artist.
Regardless of his politics.
I might leave this room.
I'm just saying, until there's any concrete evidence that throw god's a bad guy, I'm on his side.
Right. Yeah, I mean. I have a 15-minute video that I Throw God's a bad guy, I'm on his side. Right.
Yeah, I mean.
Guys, I have a 15-minute video that I will allow you to look at. That's what we want.
You release those tapes.
I am pro-Pro God.
Throw God.
Pro God or Throw God?
Pro God and Pro Throw God.
What are you paranoid about?
What could possibly happen from this to you?
I don't want to destroy the guy.
I think it's better if I just don't put it out.
He goes and does his thing. I do my thing. I don't want people watching this to think, oh, Throw God did something bad. I don't want to destroy the guy. I think it's better if I just don't put it out. He goes and does his thing.
I do my thing.
I don't want people watching this to think, oh, Throgod did something bad.
I don't want that.
Brandon, he put it out.
He put what out?
I was going to say, what?
He recorded himself doing the interview and put it out on his Instagram and YouTube.
No.
Even the racist stuff at the end?
Well, yeah.
What am I looking at?
He said, bro, I don't think I got a job at Barstool.
He recorded himself doing the interview and put it out on his YouTube.
I guess he's okay with it.
You got Joel, Brandon.
There is the deal.
Okay, all right, fine.
I literally asked the man.
I was struggling in the interview, and I was like,
what made you a good quarterback?
Well, I was good at making black people do what I wanted them to do.
Ooh.
I was like, that's when I walked out.
Oh, God, how dare you?
That's when I walked out.
Don't buy it.
That is tis-tis throw.
That's when I walked out.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, that is uncouth.
That doesn't sound like something throw God would say.
Or the best team.
Throw God I know. Yeah. The guy who throws it. This couldn't sound like something Throgod would say. Or the best teeth. Is it Throgod I know?
Yeah.
The guy who throws it?
This couldn't be true.
It's that soccer net?
The crossbar?
With no teeth?
That guy?
He also had teeth yesterday.
I don't know.
The whole thing seems...
He also pretended to do acid and chugged a bunch of
competitive vodka brand.
Yeah, he did that.
On the...
Oh, jeez.
I'm sure it was him.
This sounds like the best podcast ever.
He took powdered ibuprofen, or he ground up ibuprofen and just threw it back in his mouth as a powder.
I don't know why he did that.
He said, I'm putting acid in my eyes.
He had –
He was taking out his bits.
He was trying to get a job.
Right.
He didn't do well.
He didn't do well.
I mean, that thing was too racist for Barstool.
And you, specifically.
Yeah.
He shocked me.
I do love that he put you through that, though.
He was 100% doing bits.
He was playing a character.
He was doing a thing.
I knew it was off at the beginning when I said,
before we get started, am I talking to the person or the character?
And he said, the person is the character.
Would you call Macho Man Randy Savage Randy?
And I was like, yeah, I would.
So he was doing a wrestling thing.
He was doing a lot of stuff.
Put it on wrestling.
No.
Bring back wrestling.
Well, he made it, you easy baby face.
You could just be like, no, racism's bad.
And people would go crazy for you. Stop it, real god.
Bad boy. Hit him with
a fucking newspaper. And Jack,
god damn, poor Jack.
That's his hero. He pushed for him, and he's like, let's do it,
let's do it, let's do it, and I was like...
Those happen. They happen. They happen.
We've done interviews you never aired. Yeah, but you've never
talked in detail about him afterwards to make somebody
look bad, and that's not what I'm trying to avoid.
But he clearly doesn't mind
looking bad. He put it out himself.
He's totally comfortable with his own self.
What did he post? Like a
clip? I get what you're saying, Brandon,
but I think that part
is off because he
is not only
happy with what he did, but he's
bragging about it. One time he
said something that was just shocking, and I
didn't react, and he said, what is this, a bank?
You guys got to get the energy up. And I'm like,
stop being an asshole. He sounds
terrible. Why do you care?
I don't know. You're a nice person.
I do the same thing.
Trying to protect
Throw God. I don't
know what he put out. That's not the last we'll hear
from Throw God. No, he'll be he put out. That's not the last we'll hear from Throw God.
No, he'll be back.
How long was the interview?
15 minutes.
He put out a 14-minute and a 40-minute video.
Then it was 14-40.
Throw God.
I, for one, am shocked the guy who went viral for throwing footballs topless might have some bad ideas.
He's more of a milk guy.
He's kind of a milk guy. He's kind of a milk guy.
Come on.
Come on, Brandon.
What is that?
We're up 13.
I'm going to lose every bet.
How'd you bet at Florida?
I don't know.
I got a question.
How do women come up with new Starbucks orders?
Oh!
Like the hack ones?
Like a really complicated one
and like, how
did you get to that, like, two
pumps of vanilla? Like, you know, like, how do
you, how do, you know what I mean? Right.
It's probably. I wish I knew. I get
a plain Americana every time.
Most basic human ever.
Maybe just for the folks out there, where
does it come from? Is it word of mouth?
I swear they get me.
Does it just pop in your head one day?
You're like, oh, no, let's throw some drizzle on that.
I swear on TikTok, there's like Starbucks influencers of sort who that's their thing.
Girls, here's the new drink to try.
And they give you.
But are they doing like trial and error experimental purchases?
I guess they do that until they hit on one
That's like good to them
And then they share it with people
Like getting it wrong or like knowing you want something a little bit different
Feels like a wasted drink sometimes
Like oh I tried it that sucked
I wasn't close to landing on
The big thing is trying to find drinks
That have the maximum calorie taste
With the least amount of calories
So if you substitute the brown sugar in this latte for this
with the guava, blah, blah, blah, and it totally tastes the same,
it's a whole thing.
Oat milk and that kind of thing.
Hey, Brandon?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm nervous for my basketball game.
You're up by 13.
You're up a bunch.
I thought you were nervous about throw guys.
No, I'm not worried about that.
I'm just going through.
What does Mississippi State need to do to make March Madness?
It looked like he was crying.
When this game we're in.
That was a close call, guys.
Brandon almost made me feel bad.
Oh, gosh.
You okay?
Yeah.
You were going to beat that.
Sorry for that.
Listen.
Rogo.
Don't put those emotions on me.
They've never blown a game before
Have they?
Sass and Kate
Being just March Madness trolls
No one point
Just one time
Can I get one person on the act
On my side?
I'm rooting for you
I'm on your side
I think this is all funny
I'm trying to get it out of you
Because I think it's good for you
And the show
I was on your side
Until you disrespected Throgod
You weren't
You were at my neck last night
Sass and I are number one And numberpected Throgod. You were at my neck last night.
Tass and I are number one and number two Throgod clubs.
No matter what he says?
He's doing a bit.
He's a god. He's infallible.
Kanye's got some bad ideas
too. I still
listen to his music. He's not a fucking
genius. Oh, God
is a genius.
Is Kanye back, by the way?
I don't think so.
I thought Adidas was like... I think that was a rumor.
Oh.
I might be wrong, but...
Is Oh God back?
He's married, isn't he?
Who, Kanye?
Yeah.
I think he got married again.
Yeah, he got remarried.
To the woman
who looks like Kim K, right?
Yes.
Yeah, why wouldn't you
just marry somebody
who looks like Kim K, though?
It was also like
the top model
body you can buy. You know what I mean? It was also like the top model body you can buy.
You know what I mean?
Here's something fun.
Did you know Kanye West used to date Julia Fox?
Yes.
Did you see Julia Fox's dad and brother got arrested in Manhattan today?
They had an apartment full of their print and 3D guns.
What?
Can I see this?
All sorts of drugs and pills.
They had a crazy town
on the Upper East Side on 86th.
My brain can't fathom 3D guns.
I know.
What would you have to put in the printer?
Isn't that how they assassinated
that Japanese politician?
3D gun?
Yeah, right?
Didn't he use a 3D printed gun?
3D printers do blow my mind.
You build a car with one?
I get the plastic ones or whatever.
But how do you do a gun with so many flex parts?
I think you do parts.
You print the parts and then you piece them together.
How, I don't know.
But, yeah.
It's wild.
I guess it's not fun, but I thought it was interesting.
She has an interesting life.
Every time I see her on TikTok, she's living in like a...
Whoa, that's one of them?
Overcrowded.
Yeah, an overcrowded little...
That looks like a... That's like an office supply store. Yeah, I was going to say that. That looks like a glue Whoa, that's one of them? Overcrowded. Yeah, an overcrowded little... That looks like a...
That's like an office supply store.
Yeah, I was going to say that.
That looks like a glue gun.
Label maker.
Imagine getting killed
with a fucking glue gun.
Just takes you so long.
Stay right there.
I'm going to glue you to this wall.
God damn.
Beautiful.
That's pretty badass.
Finish it.
Finish it.
Looks like Rutgers got this, TJ.
Pass the ball, man.
You have three on one.
Game over.
Let's go.
Oh.
Passing it.
And that's it.
Shooting it.
Oh, missing it.
You just can't shoot.
Want to come in here, TJ?
Watch your sweat.
You're up six with eight minutes to go.
Sass, did you get a whole lobster yesterday?
Oh, yeah.
What my baby wants, my baby gets.
I ate the lobster roll, though.
It was really good.
I got Sass a lobster and a full lobster.
Full lobster.
I got him a lobster roll, and then I was checking out, and I was like, full lobster for $40.
Why not?
I was trying to give that lobster away five hours after he got it.
Really?
You did?
Well, I was on my way leaving to go meet Roan at the bar, and that's when it arrived.
It sucked that there wasn't a live lobster option.
That would have been horrifying.
That would have been awesome.
You open up your seamless package, and it's just a live lobster. I don't even know what I would do. What do you even do with that? You boil it. Kill it. been awesome. You open up your seamless package.
I don't even know what I would do.
What do you even do with that?
Boil it.
Kill it.
Yeah, you have to kill it right away.
Just let it walk around.
In the Hudson.
It would live in the Hudson, right?
Because it's brackish.
If they could figure out to get away, it would probably know where to go.
Yeah.
If you put it out on 7th Ave, it would find its way home.
Yeah.
The lobster crawling around Seventh Ave.
It was a good-looking lobster.
It looked really good.
It was a good-looking lobster.
Should have eaten it.
Kind of disrespectful.
Well, I didn't really have the time to start cracking open a lobster.
Who ate it?
I think Nate did.
He gave him that lobster at 7 after getting it at like 2, 2.30
And he ate it
Yeah
Forgot that it was that long
I should go ask Nate for the money back
Okay, that was Sass's lobster
It was not his right to give it away
The roll was good though
Small, but good
Small but mighty
Well, you had extra lobster
You can't really complain
Yeah
We're not doing ML cake today.
No.
Some are saying Nick faked sickness because he didn't have an idea.
Maybe later.
It's fucking office, man.
Getting cakes.
I hope he's okay.
I hope he is, too.
Did you guys see Mincy's Ole Miss video?
Yeah, it was very incredible.
No, I didn't.
Strong.
You didn't?
I didn't.
Oh, it's good.
You didn't see it?
Really? I got more of an issue. How good. You didn't see it? Really?
I got more of an issue.
How many times can we ask you?
Oh, yeah.
Are you fucking...
No, you didn't.
You did not see it?
It's kind of a late drop, though.
Didn't it come out at like midnight?
I had 30.
You saw.
You saw.
I got more of an issue with Shay than I do with Mintzy after this.
Why?
Well, if y'all want to watch the video, you can watch the video, but Shay came at me because
of it.
What do you mean?
What?
Why?
Look at this guy.
I never thought I'd be treated like a five-star recruit
at the University of Mississippi.
But here we are.
This has been one of the – I mean, I'm probably going to tell my grandkids
about this if I ever have any.
This was so fun.
You know, I know I had like an illustrious football career
that really never got off the ground because mince bones are like spaghetti.
But I got to make up for that today.
I feel like a champion wearing the powder blue.
You know, I see why Rebels love taking the field.
I don't know how many speed records I set, but awesome experience.
Can't thank Coach Kiffin and Coach Bolden and all the staff.
All y'all for having me.
This is unbelievable.
I see all the top players when we come play here.
Everything's top notch from staff to the production.
I'm proud to be an Ole Miss Rebel.
Hell yeah, damn right.
I think he looks fucking awesome.
That was kind of cool.
He did look like a lineman.
That went hard.
He was the coolest he's ever looked.
He looked like a lineman straight out of high school.
We haven't gotten the strength and conditioning coaches on his body yet.
Yeah, exactly.
Tighten that up.
He'll get it.
Hell yeah, damn right.
Brandon, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Brandon, how much money would you pay to put on the Mississippi State pads for a day?
Go do that in five minutes.
Could you?
Yeah, that's the problem.
So your contact to the program died.
I had more contacts than Mike Leach.
Five minutes.
Well, it would take longer to fly down there, obviously, Sass,
but I can have that done immediately.
Anyway.
How fast is immediately?
Because it's longer than five minutes.
It's a fact.
I don't think.
No, I think five minutes and immediately are close.
I could have a Badger jersey on in two minutes.
Because it's here.
I think somewhere, yeah. Russell Wilson signed one
and I found it at the bottom of the pile.
You're not going to find that in the pile in two minutes.
You're right. His ass is on your ass today,
though. He's been on my ass for two days.
What did I do, Seth?
What did he say?
I replied to
Menci's tweet, this is awesome.
Can't wait for you to meet John Cena next.
You know, implying.
That's good.
That's damn good.
Great tweet.
That's strong.
Well, Nick gave it to me.
You're trying to get him.
It's kind of mean.
No, it's fine.
Trying to kill Mincy.
Yeah, but I was like, you know, I did that.
And then Che comes back at me and said, don't even act like you wouldn't love if Mississippi State did this for you.
And just coming at me, this is a Make-A-Wish.
It was a Make-A-Wish video.
That's what it was.
Well, Stephen Che has to protect.
Make-A-Wish people?
The two, yeah.
I mean, Che is the same.
So, I don't know.
Stephen Che came at my neck.
Everybody's coming at me today.
He did, Brandon.
You guys are real fans.
Curse of the throw god.
You wouldn't...
Imagine if you were cursed.
Would you do that?
You wouldn't do that, would you?
Don't you think you deserve a little backlash?
What?
Do that with the pads on?
No, I wouldn't do that either.
No, that would be fucking hilarious.
It would not be hard to get that accomplished.
No.
I think it would be a little bit difficult.
Didn't he do it with another team, though?
Didn't he wear another team's uniform, too?
He's an LSU fan.
Oh, he did it with LSU.
Right?
Game over.
TJ!
Game over.
TJ, look at you.
Oh, shit.
Mississippi's only up by two.
I can't move right now.
They're on a scoring run.
Yes.
Let's fucking...
No, they're not.
I'm just looking at Instagram.
Dave's going to be pissed, though.
Are you worried about that, TJ?
I'm always worried about that.
No, Michigan's not far enough along in the tournament for Dave to even know they exist yet.
They have to get to at least the semifinals before he worries about it.
They're trying to play their way into the tournament just like us.
Where is this tournament?
Chicago.
Oh, okay. We're going next year. I think it's in minnesota next year we're going to that too i don't know why the fuck they're doing that minneapolis i've always wanted
to go minnesota probably have some great dive bars what you neither tell me what would have
taken me to never been to minneapolis uh minneapolis does have great dive bars we went
to artis it was a bowling alley, and I saw all business Pete smile.
It's a great city.
You know what else is out there?
Supper clubs.
Yep.
I want to get into that, too.
Beautiful Mall of America is out there, as well.
I want to be in a bowling league.
Oh, I love Chicago.
I used to be in a bowling league.
It's fucking fun.
I got a softball league recruiting me for North Jersey right now.
We're going to play 16-inch.
We're going to play 16-inch. We're going to play 16-inch.
I want to play 16-inch, but I'd like to.
I got some text messages going.
Brandon, you got a shoelace that people are just going to give you
hell about that, man.
I don't want you to have to go through that.
You're absolutely right, they will.
The people are going to fucking roast you,
and I can't see you going through that, friend to friend.
Pete's in all these high-level meetings these days, dude.
He's,'s like making the
decisions he was in a meeting they just had like slides of mean girls i think he's puppeteering
mean girls i think he's like the wizard of oz behind the curtain like telling them what to say
just designed virality for what is happening in those meetings i have no i bro and if they're
all the all day upstairs people are just like scuttling from room to room in these busy-ass slideshow meetings.
Yeah.
Between like Pete and like Chase and Platman.
I don't think it's anything.
Non-stop.
I don't think it's anything.
They're like, we got to figure out how to monetize.
Yeah.
Love throwing out monetize.
Yeah.
I wonder why.
Why do you think they're trying to monetize?
How can we monetize? What can we monetize What are you waving your hands at us TJ
Speaking of monetize
Do it
You're the ad guy
You're our fucking Don Draper
He doesn't read the ads
He does
It's all about money
We're monetizing right now.
How to monetize. You're a Don Iman.
Rutgers is
playing right now. Shit, we got a lot of ads
today. Yeah, it's called
being a good show.
Flex on them.
Monetizing. I'd hate to get hurt.
I'm doing tomorrow's ads today.
I'd hate to get hurt reading all these ads.
But if you've ever been injured in an accident.
Oh, nice.
Morgan & Morgan makes it easy for you.
Seamless.
File a claim online.
Is this an ad?
It is.
Well, not really because I'm just talking about something I love.
That's right.
You can upload pictures, parentheses, evidence, text your lawyer, get a settlement, direct deposit,
do almost everything from your phone with Morgan & Morgan.
It has RTBs.
Anybody want to tell me what RTBs might be?
Because anybody who wrote the ad copy probably could have written that out.
What has RTBs?
Morgan & Morgan has RTBs.
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Over 800 lawyers nationwide.
Over $15 billion, with a B, dollars recovered so far.
They have over 100 offices, over 30 years of experience.
The fee is free.
Yeesh.
You only pay if you win.
Visit ForThePeople.com slash yak or dial hashtag law, pound law.
Oh, I forgot on the phone it's a pound, but it's also a hashtag, but it's a pound.
Pound law.
It's a hashtag and a pound.
But it's a pound first on the phone.
It is.
Yeah.
Hashtag pound law to start a claim.
Morgan and Morgan.
Forthepeople.com slash yak.
You didn't eat the lobster?
What do you do with it?
You owe me a lobster.
Yeah, you do.
Okay, I didn't ask for the lobster.
No, but you owe me a lobster.
What do you do with it?
You take the lobster, though.
If it was me, I'd get you a blue lobster.
Thank you.
Just eat it now.
I know you would, too.
Is it still there?
No.
What do you do with it?
He said he didn't eat it.
We just wasted a $40 lobster.
Must have.
He's probably going to eat it tonight.
Way to go, Sass.
People out there are starving. Way to go, Sass. People out there are starving.
Way to go, Sass.
There's people in this world who've never even had lobster, and you're like, ew, no.
That's me.
It's a luxury.
What?
What?
Never in my life.
Fucking awful.
You do not like seafood?
I don't touch shellfish.
I've never had lobster in my whole life.
Oh, you don't want to.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm not going to.
It's like the best food ever.
Rutgers is kicking Michigan.
I don't know if that's the best food ever.
He's a freshman.
Whoa, TJ.
Settle down, bro.
That's some hate speech right there.
The F word.
The F word.
Where's Ron Harper Jr.?
Toronto's G League team.
That's not great.
Yes, it is.
It's better than you.
I'm on the yak, brother.
You suck at ball Harper could never
Harper could never
Yeah
You think
Throw God's gonna go to Chicago
What are you doing
Do you need a thrower
Yeah
Who do we have
Do we have any throwers going
We're gonna need a thrower
Look around
It's like a pile of footballs
The first day
We're like
What the fuck Who's like a pile of footballs the first day We're like What the fuck
Who's gonna throw all these footballs
Throw God
What a goat
Oh pass me that box
Oh yeah that's our chili's beer
Yeah
Monday we're getting chili's for lunch
Tell them
Tell you what's in there
Or you can just open them
I think we all got one Yeah Already opened mine Yeah. One day we're getting chilies for lunch. Tell them. Tell you what's in there or you can just open them.
I think we all got one.
Yeah.
I already opened mine.
What was it?
I'll let you find out.
Too bad Nick's not here because you're going to need a knife opening those things.
It's called keys, bro.
You have actual keys?
Look at those keys.
They're still sitting there.
Whose keys are those?
Someone's just not been in their apartment.
Been sitting there all week.
KB put them on my phone the other day to obfuscate some copy. I did, yeah.
Oh, boy, it's obfuscating.
This is fun.
Wow, this is fun.
Time for another unboxing.
Time for another unboxing.
Time for another unboxing. Time for another unboxing.
Time for another unboxing.
Let's see what's in this box.
Let's see what's in this box.
Let's see what's in this box.
Time for another unboxing.
Let's see what's in this box.
Kyle got right into his box.
Damn, I can't get in my...
The fuck, Kyle?
How'd you access that?
Ooh, what is this heavy thing?
I think that's...
I didn't open it.
I think it's coasters.
There's a note that says what they are.
What are they?
I figured it out.
Oh, this is cute.
I love this.
You got a hat.
I love this Billy's hat.
What the fuck?
This is just fun watching you guys try to figure out how to open these goddamn things.
Oh, this is a sick hat.
It takes ass hours. Oh, this is a sick hat. It takes ass hours.
Oh, this is cute as a button.
Switch hats.
That's a good looking hat.
You're not a hat guy, huh? I'm not a hat guy.
I tried to give it away to Jake Malasek.
He said no, so I have a free Chili's hat for anybody that wants it.
Wait, look.
So I wore my hair in a clip today.
Okay.
Oh, you got a Chili's clip?
A little chili.
Oh.
Oh, so they, uh...
This sure is fun.
They gave you a different box than the rest of us because you're a woman.
Yes. I would say I have
a much better box than you guys.
Well, bigger anyway.
It's wider. My box is so much wider. than you guys. Well, bigger anyway. It's wider.
My box is so much wider.
I wonder why.
These coasters are not even Chili's branded.
They're really functional.
Yeah, they just gave us a little Adobe.
You just want my coaster?
Brandon, what's the most forgettable Division I football team
that you can think of that's not bad?
What does not bad mean?
Pretty good team.
Oregon State.
They're not good.
I don't really forget about them.
Because they're named the Beavers.
You're saying Power 5 or can I go?
Anything.
Thanks, Chili's.
Yeah, thanks.
UCF.
UCF I forget about.
I think they've been too recent.
Power Five, Northwestern.
Arizona I forget about a lot.
I think Arizona State football, Arizona basketball.
Okay.
Even when they're good, Boston College is forgettable.
Yeah.
They were really bad this year, so that was memorable.
They're a forgettable team.
Syracuse. It's kind of forgettable too. that was memorable. They're a forgettable team.
Syracuse.
It's kind of forgettable, too.
Syracuse is forgettable as a football team.
I feel like California teams are forgettable.
I can't explain how.
I feel like they're never really that on the scene.
I like that.
Sports-wise.
You guys remember Vanderbilt?
Vanderbilt, yeah. I'll never forget Vanderbilt.
Never. I made a pledge Vanderbilt. Never.
I made a pledge.
That's noble as hell.
What does it take to get into Power 5?
Who was the last person that wasn't Power 5 that became Power 5?
Well, there's four teams going to the –
BYU?
Yeah, Houston, BYU, UCF, and Cincinnati.
And then the Pac-12 is talking to San Diego State right now.
Probably the answer.
Yeah.
Utah was probably the last one, right?
To go non-Power 5, Power 5.
TCU hasn't been that recent.
Oh yeah, that's true.
Rutgers and Maryland.
Maryland was ACC.
Maryland was Power 5 ACC.
We're up 12.
Jim Boeheim, gone.
But not forgotten.
What a legendary way to go out just getting your ass beat no he
they lost an imposter peter that's that's your ass beat no the um interview he did after i'll
pull it up he's been a dead man walking for a reporter asked are you are you uh wait yeah are
you saying right now that you're going to retire? He replied, this is up to the university.
And then the reporter said, you want to come back?
And he said, I didn't say that.
The reporter said, so what are you saying?
You're not saying you're retiring?
He said, I just said it.
I don't know.
So you don't know?
I said this is up to the university.
How will you make a determination about when you will come back?
You're talking to the wrong guy.
It was like the Michael Scott reading back his deposition.
Yeah. I need to go to the bathroom.
Is he mean?
Oh, he's the meanest.
So mean to people. Meanest.
47 years, though, is pretty fucking crazy.
I feel like basketball coaches are the meanest coaches.
Yeah, he scared the shit out of me.
Men and women.
Women are way meaner.
Why do you think that is?
Why do they have to be that mean to run a team?
I don't know.
I mean, football coaches are mean, too.
Who was that notorious mean guy?
Bob Knight.
Bob Knight choked some people.
Bob Huggins, who I love, he has, I think he's actually not as mean,
but he has a treadmill in the corner of practice
that's always going at 12 miles an hour.
So, like, if you fuck up, you get on the treadmill.
Kind of an awesome move.
Oh, this seems bad.
He got his eyeball poked out?
Oh, like Alan Ray?
He looked like he was...
Remember Alan Ray's eyeball?
No, what happened there?
Show it, TJ.
No.
Yeah, show it.
I'm not going to do the eyeball.
Show Alan Ray's eyeball. Doesn't even look like he got it poked it, TJ. No. Yeah, show it. Show Alan Ray's eyeball.
Doesn't even look like he got it
poked out, though. His eyeball's
in. You guys don't remember? I know
Rowan remembers Alan Ray's eyeball.
Do you remember Alan Ray's eyeball? I don't remember Alan Ray's eyeball.
You don't remember Alan Ray's eyeball?
This guy did get scraped right across the eye. You don't remember
Alan Ray's eyeball? I don't remember Alan Ray's eyeball.
How could you forget Alan Ray's eyeball?
Yeah. I remember Alan Ray. I remember all guys named Alan Ray. If you remember Alan Ray's eyeball. How could you forget Alan Ray's eyeball? Yeah.
I remember Alan Ray.
I remember all guys named Alan Ray. If you remember Alan Ray, you should remember his eyeball.
Ray was going to be my next name.
No one knows what's about to happen.
I don't want to see this shit.
Ready?
Watch this shit.
Is it worse than Kevin Ware's leg?
I can't even see it from here.
Yeah, we can't really see it.
They zoom in more.
You got to get a picture.
Get a picture. Get a picture. a picture. Oh! Get a picture.
Can he see now?
Get a picture.
Yeah.
He had like a...
It was like he actually has like an issue where like his eyeball can pop out of the eye socket.
Holy shit.
Like that black woman that got famous for her eyeballs.
Oh, yeah.
Just seeing an eyeball out of an eye socket.
Yeah, no.
Remember Kevin Ware, though?
I was taking a nap during Kevin Ware.
You didn't see it live?
Nope.
I fell asleep on my couch.
Oh, God.
And I woke up and there was...
Oh, wait.
Oh, these are so...
Is that his eye?
That's his eyeball.
Fuck.
I guess the HD cameras really weren't that great back then.
Bloop.
Oh!
No way.
That was Alan Ray's eyeball.
Holy shit.
Huh.
Yeah, Kevin Ware.
I didn't know that was possible.
I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up and they were like just bringing the game back in.
Yeah.
And I was like, what the fuck?
You can hear it.
What was that, a snap? Oh back in. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? You can hear it. What was that, a snap?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
His leg.
His own came out of his leg.
Okay.
Oof.
Yeah.
Sean Livingston had a bad one.
Oh, Sean Livingston had a terrible one.
First one I ever remember is Willis McGahee.
That was the first replay injury that I was like, whoa.
He went backwards.
Paul Ian Kaufman, I believe.
Didn't one happen on the Celtics pretty recently?
Gordon Hayward?
Gordon Hayward was one, yeah.
And Dwight Howard had a – was it Dwight Howard who had the –
Somebody did it at the Olympics trials, right?
No, it wasn't.
It was Paul George, right?
Didn't Paul George have a bad one?
I think you're thinking of Cary Strug.
Oh, 96 Olympics, yes.
Yeah, Dwight Howard treated of Cary Strug. Oh, 96 Olympics, yes. Yeah,
Dwight Howard treated
Lord Cary him now.
After he broke his ankle.
What did he say?
He said Lord.
Lord Cary him now
with a picture of him.
Oh,
the Gordon Hayward one
is so gross.
That's the,
anything else?
That's the,
that's the one where they show
the Cavs players all on knees,
like looking away.
Oh, yeah.
It's become a meme.
Growing up playing sports, did any of you see in person?
Like in wrestling, does anybody ever just like a limb just snaps
kind of thing or no?
Yeah, but not as much as you would think compared to other sports
with less contact.
Yeah.
There's a kid that got knocked out really bad at a football game.
This kid, Brian Brinkman, who was just like a nuts.
Like on special teams, he'd be the first one running down.
Yeah.
And he was out for like a long ass time.
It was pretty terrifying.
Yeah.
I had a kid that I was friends with growing up who, in football, he fell on his knee on the turf.
And his kneecap went six
inches up into his thigh yeah gross yeah you don't want to talk about this brandon no but i shouldn't
have tweeted out that i had a free hat i meant a free hat for somebody inside barstool not not my
entire dms you're welcome you tweeted out what huh don't give that hat away i don't wear hats tj
that's a waste of a hat mond Monday is Chili's birthday, bro.
It's not a waste.
It's his birthday?
Yes.
48th birthday.
We're celebrating by eating Chili's.
I don't wear it.
You're going to make me wear a hat.
Is that what you're going to do?
Yes.
Chili's is where business gets done.
You hate our advertisers, Brandon?
Yes or no question.
I don't.
Yes or no question.
I wear the shirt.
Yes or no question.
I wear the shirt.
Oh, God wasn't that bad.
No, that's...
Yes or no question.
Bro, God was starting to make a little bit of sense.
Oh, wear the shirt.
Is everybody going to wear the hat, TJ?
I'm wearing the hat.
Also, I told them about you wanting to break the chip record, Big Cat.
They're going to try and make that happen.
I bet the chip record is substantial at Chili's, though.
I've probably flirted with it without even realizing it.
Because people at Le Bar Nardin,
they don't care about the bread record,
and they got class.
People at Chili's are enjoying the chips a lot.
The deal is so gosh darn good.
Oh, it's unlimited.
The bacon ranch cheese fries there, buddy.
Anything bottomless, I'm in.
Yeah.
Mimosas?
Except for women.
Shh.
Watch out, bitch.
I'm going to let me be me.
Give me a bit of brunch.
Rowan, I like your socks.
I'm not a mimosa guy.
I'm a screwdriver guy.
Yeah, you want them?
I'm a bloody man.
I don't want your socks.
You want to trade socks, Rowan?
Yeah.
I got roses.
Those are nice socks. They don't want your socks. You want to trade socks, Ron? Yeah. I got roses. Those are nice socks.
They go well with your shoes.
Your socks are good, but I couldn't pull them off.
Are we complimenting each other?
You can pull off anything.
Stop.
Stop.
I like KB's sweatshirt.
Yeah, let's all compliment each other.
I like that sweatshirt, too.
I've seen it a lot.
Thank you, Brandon.
You're welcome.
Go Bills.
Go Bills.
Where's the Elon sweatshirt?
At my apartment.
I'm going to bring it back out for a couple weeks.
I haven't seen the Cowboys sweatshirt in a while either.
No, I don't wear that one anymore.
You still have it?
Oh, yeah, I still have it.
Get rid of it.
You could probably find that at a nice home.
You're a non-shorts guy too, right?
No, I wear shorts.
Oh, yeah.
Nick is the... I'm borderline non-shorts guy too, right? No, I wear shorts. Oh, yeah. Nick is the...
I'm borderline non-shorts, but Nick has rickets.
Yeah, that's true.
Never catch my boy Nick in shorts.
Give it to Trisha Crick.
On serious minutes.
You a Cowboys fan?
Big time.
Huge.
Where are all the Cowboys fans at?
Where have all the Cowboys gone?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Where have they gone?
Damn, who was that?
Paula Cole's ass.
Paula Cole.
She had some bangers.
She had one.
Is that the only one?
No.
Two.
She had another one?
Oh, it was the other one.
It was the other one.
The other one was bigger than that, right?
It was her and Meredith Brooks.
I'm a bitch.
I'm a lover.
That's not Paula Jones.
That's not Paula Jones.
Sonny Colvin or whatever her name was.
Sonny came home with the... Is that Paula? Paula Cole was where have all the Cowboys gone. That's not Paula Jones. Sonny Colvin or whatever her name was. Sonny came home with the...
Is that Paula?
Paula Cole was where all the cowboys were going.
That's about it.
Right, but she had another one.
I Don't Wanna Wait.
For our lives to be over.
Wait, that's Paula Cole?
Isn't that Dawson's Creek?
Yeah.
I Don't Wanna Wait.
Yeah, okay.
You sure that's Paula Cole?
Yes.
He wouldn't lie.
He would.
Not about that. He was excited to say Paula Cole. Yes. He wouldn't lie. He would. Not about that.
He was excited to say Paula Cole.
He'd been thinking about Paula Cole.
Don Osborne was in that group.
Damn it, dude.
I already forgot that fucking profession.
Coster monger.
A coster monger.
How the hell am I going to remember that?
He's just going out there with his gourds every morning.
Trying to make an honest living.
Where is he getting the gourds from? I don't fucking know. Where did you get gourds from? Pat, tell him. He's got to out there with his gourds every morning, trying to make an honest living. Where is he getting the gourds from?
I don't fucking know.
Where'd you get gourds from?
Pat, show him.
He's got to have a guy.
Or he grows them.
No, he's got to have a guy.
That's the worst logo in history.
Gourd guy, a guy that brings gourds in from outside of town?
He's got a gourd pimp.
Gordo.
He doesn't sell.
If you don't sell these squashes, I'm going to slap your face.
Gordo.
You guys remember Gordo from goddamn Lizzie McGuire?
Yes.
Never watched that show.
I still love that show.
He was a little bit older than them as an actor.
He was like 26, and they were like 15.
He was 26?
He was old?
He played their younger brother?
No, he played their same-age friend.
Their heterosexual friend Their like Oh yeah
Yeah
Ordo
Before you could have
A gay best friend
Yeah
GBF
Yeah that shit
Wasn't allowed
Now girls
Love to have
A gay best friend
Like an accessory
Yeah
It's almost too commonplace
Which is like the gays,
I wonder if they ever feel used
or if they're just like welcoming of the companionship.
They probably do.
How many guys have gay best friends?
Because then...
A lot more than real life.
They don't use them functionally like the girls do.
Yeah, probably.
Most guys don't realize they have a gay best friend,
but I bet a lot do.
I got a good friend
who's gay.
His name's Brandon. That's hilarious.
Brandon,
you're gay. Not his ass.
Hey, Brandon. Call me a good friend.
Hey, you are. Shut up.
Don't make me get sentimental
on your fucking ass.
I don't want to do that shit.
Hey, Brandon. I don't want to do that shit with you.
Ronan and I already got sentimental last week.
Yeah, that shit was sentimental.
GBFW.
Tried us.
Get sentimental as fuck.
I was like, what the fuck did we just do?
We said we love each other?
SCCGFBW.
What are you doing?
That's your new name.
Oh, for the gay?
SCCGBFW, yeah.
Social Justice Warrior.
Should we get super sentimental on a show?
No.
I already did yesterday.
Maybe 500th episode?
Which is Tuesday?
That's Tuesday?
Just get fucking super sentimental.
Let's do bottomless porters.
Bottomless ewing. Replace fart wheel with cry wheel.
You can't leave the room until you have actual tears.
Oh, I don't hate that.
Bitch, I'll fucking...
I'll squeeze a tear real fast.
I haven't cried in a long time.
Bro, you gotta cry.
I could cry.
I usually have one good cry every couple months.
Bro, you ain't crying.
That shit backs up.
You ain't crying, you're dying.
Everybody has a good cry every two months. Bro, you ain't crying. That shit backs up. You ain't crying, you're dying. Everybody has a good cry
every two months.
Two months, bro?
I've cranked that shit out.
You've been on that cry shit.
I've been since I got hired at Barstool.
I've been crying.
It's actually crazy.
When I first got hired,
I was crying a lot.
I was.
Stop being so mean to me.
Little kids cry just every day, multiple times a day.
Yeah, they do.
Just going through the emotions all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's hilarious.
Little kids cry at just the most minor inconvenience.
Oh, last time my son grabbed my face, I was like, please don't do that.
And then he just started crying.
He's like, I don't like when you talk to me.
What?
Like, what the fuck? I was like, why are you crying? He's like, I don't like when you talk to me. What? Like, what the fuck?
I was like, why are you crying?
He's like, you said something to me.
It's a power move.
And then they're over it like two seconds later.
They just get a quick cry.
Where's it come from?
Where's the water come from?
Is it water?
Is it like, can you get dehydrated from crying a lot?
Oh, good question.
That's a really good question.
Is there a world record
of tears of cry?
Is there a world record cry
with the amount of liquid?
Do you think somebody's been crying continuously
since 1992?
No.
I bet there's somebody who's cried
in Seattle or something.
Some protest or something.
That woman who got mad that Trump got elected.
She's probably been crying for a while.
One of the greatest gifts of all time.
Fucking tears.
Fucking delicious.
Yeah.
But that's not even, that's like empty cries.
Yeah.
At any point where you start recording it or like having, like collecting it,
it'd be a fake cry.
Four months of crying?
That baby?
Oh.
Sheila, see, that's the problem.
She was probably crying
because she's like,
you motherfuckers named me Sheila?
A record?
What the fuck?
I think you gotta see it.
That was just a pissed off parent
that was just like,
this has to be a record.
It's like, we has to be a record.
We got to get something good out of this.
Call Guinness.
Sheila.
Baby Sheila.
The baby slept at some point during that time.
I can guarantee that was an ugly baby.
Baby's a Sheila.
That's on the bathrooms at Outback.
Does that mean girl in Australia?
She's a Sheila. Sheila.
That was more Liverpool.
She's a real Sheila.
Jesus Christ, Brandon.
She's a Sheila.
Creating accents?
I kind of was, yeah.
Dude, I haven't seen Molly in a minute.
Where has Meatball Molly been?
Oh, yeah.
Where has she been?
I haven't seen her in a while.
Probably just training and getting fucking fierce.
She hasn't been in the office.
Does she still work here?
I want her to kick somebody again.
I feel like I haven't heard a lot from her or Patty the Batty.
Patty's doing trivia and shit.
Yeah, Patty's been around.
Yeah.
She's been coming in.
You haven't seen her?
You haven't got fight of the night.
Patty and Jack Mack were chopping it up about who's more famous.
Between who?
And Walker and Throw God.
Throw God easy.
Yeah, easily.
Especially after this interview drops.
Okay.
It's not dropping.
Oh, he dropped it.
Dude, I got to see if what.
It's kind of a baller move.
You think he knew you weren't going to put it out?
He knew he was going to be doing a bit.
That's why I recorded the whole thing.
Bitted your ass.
Yeah.
That's what Dave would do.
You got got. You got got. Dave won't sit down unless he can record to be doing a bit. That's why I recorded the whole thing. Bitted your ass. Yeah. That's what Dave would do. You got got.
You got got.
Dave won't sit down unless he can record it himself, too.
Yeah.
You can bring your guys.
I'm going to bring my guys.
He just had the Mean Girls videographer in there.
Brandon and Jack Mack camped out outside of Throw God's house for 15 hours.
Oh, I just accidentally searched Thoroughgood.
Congrats, DJ.
Woo.
Way to go, buddy.
The run starts now.
We got Purdue tomorrow.
Come on.
Oh, his eye is fucked up.
That's easy dub.
Easy dub.
Don't fuck that up.
Easy dub.
Automatic bet.
Kyle, I'm happy you're on the Purdue train.
I'm known as one of the biggest Purdue haters.
I'm not a hater by any means.
I actually like them.
You're a realist?
Yeah, they don't...
I don't hate them.
I just talk shit about them,
which can be confused as hate.
I actually think Purdue fans,
the self-hating ones, respect.
I don't know anything about their fan club.
I don't see Throw God on Instagram, TJ.
Sure it's on Instagram?
I blocked you.
Yeah.
At the Throw God. The Throw God. Purdue isn't where it's on Instagram. I blocked you. Yeah. At the throw god.
The throw god.
Purdue isn't where it's supposed to be.
Where do you think it should be?
Their colors make me think that they should be farther north than where they're from.
Or farther west or something like that.
You wind up in Purdue, it's like, why the fuck is...
Why is Purdue here?
West Lafayette.
Why is it there? I made out with a chick when I here? West Lafayette. Why is it there?
I made out with a chick when I went to West Lafayette and her breasts went like bologna.
Sounds awesome.
Yeah.
Man, that's awesome.
You think she was eating bologna or?
It was the night Kyle Orton's career should die.
College career.
Man.
Everton Stubblefield, man.
I love Kyle Orton.
What a hell of a battery.
Best retirement ever.
He just was, he finished the season with the Bills and was getting interviewed and was Double field, man. I love Kyle Orton. What a hell of a battery. Best retirement ever.
He finished the season with the Bills and was getting interviewed and was like, hold on, I left something in my car and just got in his car and left.
He never came back.
I follow him on Instagram.
All he does is trout fish with his kids.
It's fucking awesome.
Doesn't Rick Ross do that?
Trout fishing?
No, just walks out of interviews. He's like, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Then he just leaves.
What did he do that on?
He did that on a podcast.
Oh, 85 South or something like that?
He just got in his car, and they were like, did he just leave?
I love walking out.
There's a video of it.
Walking out of interviews.
Driving away.
Like when Brandon did with Throw God.
Do you ever go down a rabbit hole of Tom Cruise uncomfortable interviews?
They're awesome.
Oh, I can't do that.
He's got some Cruise uncomfortable interviews, they're awesome. I can't do that. He's got some If you can find
the number one one
where he basically
told the guy
he was like,
you're acting inappropriate.
I would like this.
I would like this.
It's tough to watch.
Yeah, he's like,
do you want to continue this?
All right, act in line.
He's like,
why would you ask me that question?
Yeah, you ask a question
about his wife or something.
Jonah Hill gets surly
in interviews,
which I fuck with
because people
I respect that.
Jonah Hill usually
has reasonable They try to fast guy him. So how does with because people... I respect that. Jonah Hill usually has reasonable...
They try to fast guy him.
So how does...
You're like, I'm very disrespectful.
Yeah, Jimmy Fallon was like, I thought you would smell worse.
What?
Oh, yeah, that.
Fuck that.
Why did you think I would smell...
Jimmy Kimmel.
Fallon would never do that.
Jimmy Fallon did not like me when I interviewed him.
Jimmy Fallon?
Yeah.
Why?
Oh, he did not like you. No.
I heard that. I was like,
was Chevy Chase really that big of a dick?
And he got really upset about that.
Fair. That was probably just...
Just say no, though. Just be like, no, he wasn't.
So he must have been a dick. Well, that was
the fundamental problem with the corp.
I thought we did some pretty good interviews.
The Kobe interview was great, but a lot of the interviews
like the
famous person was like,
I know A-Rod.
Who the fuck is this guy?
So then I would start asking questions.
They're like, shut your mouth.
Like, why are you talking to me?
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah, like, just shut up for a second.
Shut up.
I'm here with A-Rod.
Like, okay, cool, cool, cool.
The Ben Stiller
Tom Cruise impression is very funny
Have you guys seen that?
Where he's just imitating him
He's just doing everything the same
Nails it
CJ see if you can find that Tom Cruise interview
Have you ever seen Norm Macdonald's
Quentin Tarantino impression?
It's like fantastic
Oh it's the Peter Overton interview.
I would like to see that.
Ladies and gentlemen, this man is for the birds.
What's the score, Brandon?
That was his roast.
Yeah, that was hilarious.
Brandon, how are you doing?
I'm doing fine.
How are you?
Why are you squirming?
Now I'm just ordering food and I'm making faces based on what I'm going to order.
What are you thinking?
I don't know.
Chick-fil-A maybe?
Mote, man.
I respect that in you.
I'm on a motor.
You put that shit on your sleeve.
I'm on an e-motor.
Chick-fil-A?
Okay.
That sounds good.
Married for 10 years.
Listen, we raised children.
His hair sucked from this too.
I mean, how do you answer that question
I missed what he asked
she's someone that
was Nicole the love of your life
oh exactly
what do you mean Peter
you were married for 10 years
listen we raised children
I
you know
I mean
how do you answer that question
she's someone that
I plan on getting married again
you do?
oh absolutely
and having kids?
absolutely
but Nicole was a major part of your life
and a love of your life at the time
I like this guy I wore a leather jacket to the interview.
Would you like Nicole to remarry?
Yes.
I want Nicole to be happy.
That's what I want.
And do you have a relationship where you talk, it's a parenting relationship, and talk professionally about each other?
Listen, here's the thing, Peter.
You're stepping over a line now. You're stepping over a line now.
You're stepping over a line.
You know you are.
I suppose the questions are that people want to know.
Peter, you want to know.
Take responsibility for what you want to know.
Don't say what other people.
This is a conversation that I'm having with you right now.
You're right.
Okay.
So I'm just telling you right now, okay, just put your manners back in.
Do you think I'll do that a lot?
Yes, absolutely.
Well, I apologize for that sincerely.
Put your manners back in.
That's a cool thing to say.
So intense.
Yeah.
Because Tom Cruise has that stare where it's like, I could have you dead by sundown.
I'll eat your penis.
Yeah, like I have people who will have you killed instantly.
Scientology, you might. Put'll eat your penis. Yeah, like I have people who will have you killed instantly.
Scientology, you might.
Put your manners back in.
Did you rewatch the Norm Quentin Tarantino impression?
But that dude thought he was such hot shit wearing a leather jacket. He's like, do you hope your wife fucks again?
Ex-wife.
He's a real she.
I hope she fuck heaps of men.
Learn to be happy.
Dude, Fasoli is about...
What separates me from Hollywood directors is that I have a huge head.
Now, I don't mean I have a big ego, because I don't.
I mean, my actual head is huge, alright?
I mean, I could sleep sitting up, okay?
Like the elephant man, or I'll die, alright?
But okay, get this, though, okay?
It was my huge head, okay?
That thought up who was perfect to play Marcellus' wife, alright?
Okay, Roger, your character, okay, is the gift, okay?
Now, what you have to remember about your character
Is he's you know he's like okay? He's kept in a trunk all right
Basement of some guy's house, okay, and he's used for deviant hardcore gay sex, okay?
Let's do it I didn't know he had that in his bag
That was incredible
By the way, Fasoli is going
He's going to have the greatest day of his life tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he's going back to the
Milton office with Dave
No, really
He's the top historian
I was talking to Rudy because I was like, like Rudy are you coming up For the streams in Boston
He's like
I couldn't take that
From Fasoli
He's like
He's been waiting
His whole life for this
We're going to get
A sentimental Fasoli tweet tomorrow
Oh hell yes
But I'm ready for it
He's a true
Barstool historian
No he's not
Which I hate to admit
He's not
But Viva is the way
Oh my god
Fasoli
He's not? Viva is the way! Oh my god, Vasili.
He's not?
He's as loyal as they could possibly be,
but for trivia purposes and historian purposes, no, he doesn't.
But I could see him walking backwards through the Barstool office giving a guided tour to a bunch of foreign people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is where
what is where what are they going he doesn't i asked him about it he didn't even know musky
didn't know the the weird haircuts he may have known weird haircuts what are you gonna say what
are they going back for i think they're just gonna do like a video for the sports book look at him
it's like damn caught him in the lab do you lab. Do you think he jerks off to these?
Viva hours?
Is it like the...
Like that's the ultimate sacrifice to the gods?
Barstool, it's like the last...
You're never dead until the last person utters your name.
Barstool's never dead until the last person jerks off to one of the
original newspapers.
The original
Hooters girl. Smoke show of the day.
Zoli is like,
I will do this. I will carry
the torch. I will come as my ancestors
came before me.
We're in the hard dick business after all.
That was an underrated
moment when Mark Cuban was like, when Dave explained all Barstool, he's like, so you're in the hard dick business after all. That was an underrated moment when Mark Cuban was like,
when Dave explained all Barstool, he's like,
so you're in the hard dick business.
Yeah, we are.
That way that happened?
Yeah.
We were going to sell Barstool to Mark Cuban for like nothing.
Dave wanted to, we did the whole Shark Tank pitch.
Dave explained everything.
He's like, yes, I get it.
I get it.
You're in the hard dick business.
You make guys hard and and he was like he basically mark cuban explained like
the future of barstool uh he's like you guys need to figure out how to scale how to stop working so
hard which is like kind of what happened you know what i mean get bigger all that stuff and dave
just sat in the uh hallway after he's like, Mark Cuban turned us down.
Just got to keep blogging.
Just got to get back to the blog minds.
Fucking grind, grind, grind, grind.
Damn.
Yeah.
Mark Cuban could have had it.
He could have had my brain, too.
Could have had it all.
Could have had the Frambulance.
You still can't have your brain, can you?
No, that offers.
That's changed.
10% for a million bucks.
I would have done it right then.
What could he get 10% of your brain for?
Anything I produce for the rest of my life.
Yeah, but what would it cost him?
Well, if he'd give me the million dollars cash, I would have just blown it.
And then, like, I'm all out of ideas.
I don't think he gets out of bed for 10%.
I think you need to give him 20.
Yeah.
If you keep the same valuation, give him 20, 25%.
But I was on my fucking Mr mr wonderful shit i was giving him uh
a licensing deal yeah that is perpetuity that is true that's the dream what happened brandon
i love how mr wonderful does that wherever every shark you make a dollar i'll make 15
yeah every shark is like yeah i like this i i invest in people like i want to be in business
with you and he's just like, okay, how about this?
For you and your kids and your grandkids, I get 3% of their earnings for the rest of their lives.
Deal?
It does do.
For this show, seating wise, you're the Mr. Wonderful.
I am.
Dead in the middle.
Shark tank.
Which means Kate's the Mark Cuban.
Or no.
Yeah, Kate's the Mark Cuban.
Seating wise. Lori. Seating wise. Cuban. Or no. Yeah, Kate's the Mark Cuban. See you in a while.
Lori.
Lori's my favorite.
She just gets it.
I've never watched that.
Is that who was just here on Chicks in the Office?
No, that was Barbara Corker.
Oh, Barbara.
Right.
Lori's got her QVC shit, so she sees all these knickknacks and shit.
She's like, oh yeah, Middle America, we'll buy that.
I'll tell you what.
I see Mr. Wonderful's podcast that he has.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yes.
He's like some financial advice podcast with someone from Sway House,
and I think it's from his apartment in Miami.
I thought his apartment would be a little bit nicer.
Really?
I'm not trying to shit on Mr. Wonderful.
Kind of sounds like you are, though.
I thought that the way that he kind of puts himself,
I was expecting like massive ceilings,
like fucking marble and shit like that.
It looks a little bit cramped, and maybe that's the way he likes it.
It looks like Julia Fox's damn apartment.
With the guns?
Yeah.
TJ, can you put on the Marquette game?
It's going to overtime.
It's madness.
This is madness. Holy shit. This is a 6x6. Some madness. This is madness.
Holy shit.
Bruce Weber, great head of hair.
That is a good head of hair.
That's the kind of hair I feel like you hope for.
I want that.
I want all gray.
Beautiful.
I want to be a silver fox.
Beautiful crow's feet.
Just a life of smiles.
A nice little tan.
We're up four, not six.
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
We were up 12.
Should we watch the end of your game?
No, because it's still got an hour left probably.
How much time?
It's barely into the second half.
What's your guys' March Madness picks?
Any sleepers?
Any dark horse, KB?
Who are you liking this year?
I have no idea.
Furman for me.
Ooh.
Kyle, where's Oral Roberts?
Tulsa.
Where's Furman?
Furman is in South Carolina.
Was it Spartanburg or Greenville?
Greenville's ECU, right.
Is it not just in a place called Furman?
Yeah, it might be.
I don't know if it is or not.
Who was the team with the little peacock who did good last year?
St. Peter's.
St. Peter's.
I love stuff like that.
It was Auburn.
Auburn uses a peacock emoji for Auburn.
Remember that?
I don't.
On Twitter.
And I could go for some chilies right now.
I know.
I would crush it.
I'm out on Monday, and I'm really bummed.
Where are you going?
I'm going to see Pat's parents in Myrtle Beach.
Gay Pat's?
For the weekend.
No, regular Pat's.
Regular Pat's.
The opposite of gay.
His dad has a metal detector, though.
He has a bunch of them.
He's really into metal detecting.
That rules.
Super pumped to try it out.
That absolutely rules.
What did you say they were?
Like, just north of Myrtle Beach.
Oh, that's a great metal detecting place.
Might be the metal detecting capital of the world.
I'm really pumped to try that.
Where's all the...
How's the metal winding up there that they're all detecting?
We'll drop rings and shit.
Tons of rings.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like all the vacationers, yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
I thought it was a treasure or gold coins or some shit that they were looking for.
I think I might have told this story.
I went to a wedding over the summer and it was like the night before was on the beach,
and the bride lost a family heirloom ring.
And everyone was just out with their flashlights looking for it.
I actually think I almost got kicked out of the wedding
because I went up to two random people,
and I was like, we're never fucking finding this.
This is stupid.
It was the mother of the bride
and the mother of the groom.
That's so funny.
But
they called up a metal detector.
Place is a dump anyway.
The guy was like,
alright, he was like,
on a map, give me
100 yards by 100 yards where you think you lost it.
He's like, I'll have it in an hour.
And he did.
Oh, he got it?
Yeah.
In an hour.
I'll come back with a ring for each of you.
That's my promise.
Damn, that's an apex predator old person.
The guy that can actually find this shit with a ring.
He was just like guaranteed it too.
Was he, he was for hire or he was in the party?
For hire.
No, he was for hire.
They actually called another guy who was like, oh, we won't be able to find it.
And then they called the second guy and he's like, oh, you called Jim?
He's like, yeah, of course he can't find it.
Like, he sucks.
It's like a rivalry.
I'll be first.
Don't let that happen again.
Metal detectors in this town.
Uh-oh, are they losing?
Oh, no.
They're losing.
They're not.
Don't blow games.
Oh, no, no.
Never mind.
They're losing.
All right, let's spin the wheel and we can go watch the end.
Because I think there's a stream live people can go watch.
Do you want to go to a game, by the way?
Oh, yeah.
Brandon, game time.
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I got you, Brandon.
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You know what?
Let's watch the game and let's just finish the YAK with Brandon sweating it out.
I've got to go do the rundown.
I have someone else do the rundown.
Who?
Who's as good as me?
Nobody.
Yeah.
Where is Marquette?
That's why I give us...
Give it to the Yak fans.
Give this to the Yak fans.
Let them...
Give you...
Yes, give you to the Yak fans.
No one's better than you.
No one's better than you.
Evan can wait.
The rundown can wait, brother.
I'll go find someone who can do the rundown.
All right, fine.
Who else is supposed to be on it?
It's me, Kate, and Rico.
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah, John Richard Sass.
It was going to be me, Nick, and Gooch.
No, not Gooch.
Mook.
Then Nick called in sick, and I don't know Mook.
So then I asked Titus, and Titus is going to be in this tournament.
Mook will do it.
Mook will do it, but I don't know Mook.
So there's no – he was going to do it with me and Nick, and going to be in his tournament. Mook will do it. Mook will do it, but I don't know Mook. So there's no...
He was going to do it with me and Nick and I thought
Nick and Mook. I don't want to put Mook in a bad spot.
It's not putting him in a bad spot.
You get to know him. He's affable.
I'm not doing the rundown now. He's affable as hell.
I bet he's affable.
I just thought Nick would be a good conduit there
to help him do his first rundown.
Yeah.
What are we doing?
Because y'all are making me stay
and y'all haven't even put on the goddamn game yet.
I'm not making you stay.
Why are you...
What are we doing?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Go watch it somewhere.
Oh, yeah, we got to spin the wheel.
Spin the wheel.
I've been hankering for my ice cream party sliver.
And what is that?
Just ice cream?
I'm just bringing a bunch of toppings, a bunch of ice creams.
The question here, now the big cat's out of the room,
why do we wait on the wheel to have ice cream?
Why can't we just have delicious ice cream?
I don't know.
I don't know.
You want to do it.
Why not just have ice cream?
I don't know.
Why wait on this goddamn wheel?
Kate's done fun shit like that before.
How about root beer floats?
Yeah, she just randomly does shit like that.
I got to do the rundown, don't I?
I don't know.
I got to replace Ruth Brandon.
Kate is slim pickin'.
Okay, I'm going to go.
If I'm on it, it is indeed slim pickin'.
Tommy's in place of you.
Okay.
And then Rico's still doing it,
and there's literally no one else in the office right now.
Gentlemen, I'll be back on Tuesday for the 500th episode.
Yes.
I'm really excited.
I'll be wearing my Chili's clip forever, pretty much.
It's a delight.
I'm going to buy us a cake.
Bye, Kate.
ML Cake.
ML Cake.
ML Kate.
ML Kate.
ML Cake.
Have fun in Myrtle Beach, Kate.
Thank you.
I hope you find some gold.
Yeah, you did promise us all a ring.
Okay, yeah.
Is that what you want want a ring it was um
it's crazy how few people are here why like none like the only other person i could have found was
big ev but he's got probably every game he's gambling on right now so i didn't want to do
that to him and uh yeah brianna's out doing her show in uh cal California, so she's not here.
I was at the first person.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
Tico, Texas.
She's missing.
She's in Texas.
Where's Tico?
She was in here this week.
Where am I lying?
You're thinking of Ebony.
I'm lying.
I'm flying. Oh, damn it.
Son of a Boy dad is out today
I hate to do that
I'm not like
It's a great episode
Why can't you plug it?
We had to remove it
Because we had to change something
Because you had Trogon on?
What happened?
What happened?
Why did you have to remove it?
You should put Trogon on there
We said something about
Like a former advertiser
What'd you say?
What'd you say about the advertiser?
I actually didn't say anything bad
I guess they should have put it in there
But it's back up now
Everywhere
So go listen to that when you get a chance.
Brandon, Johnny, gotcha.
You listened to it, Brandon?
Huh?
You listened to it?
Fantastic.
Oh, thank you.
My favorite episode.
Yeah, it was very funny.
Don't lie.
That's my third favorite episode.
There you go.
I thought it was funny.
Because I've been on two.
You've been on twice?
I've been on once.
You went on in LA last year, right?
Did I?
I think so. Maybe. So, yeah. Those went on in L.A. last year, right? Did I? I think so.
Maybe.
So, yeah, those are my favorite, too.
Hit the last Super Bowl.
Weird that they didn't have a Super Bowl this year.
It was canceled.
What's the score, Brandon?
We're down 42-41 with 11-43.
Text Nick, Brandon, and see how he's doing.
He'll respect it coming from you.
Can I tell you guys something awkward that happened to me?
I want to text at the same time and see what he answers.
What happened to you?
Yeah, what happened?
I'm dying to hear some awkward shit.
It'll probably be my fire for some PMT tomorrow.
So, Stell Blue, we're doing different T-shirts and shit, right? It'll probably be my fire for some PMT tomorrow. But so still blue.
We're doing different T-shirts and shit.
Right.
Had a meeting yesterday.
They showed us the T-shirts.
They're uninspired.
And Hank chimed in on the meeting was like, yeah, we could probably do better than this.
So I have a text.
I don't know if you guys know Shane.
He does graphics for part of my take.
So it's me, me Shane Max and memes
on this text chain so later
on in the night
Shane sends four new
t-shirt mock-ups and I
was like holy shit
they somehow made them worse these are the
worst t-shirts I've ever seen
and then Max texted me on the side he's like
Shane made those t-shirts I've ever seen Oh no And then Max texted me on the side He's like Shane made those t-shirts
Yeah
That's the fucking
Yeah
That's
That's really tough
So bad
And I was like
I didn't know how to play it
I basically was like
Shane
We can build off this
Like this is a seminal moment
In our relationship
For the record
Those t-shirts are terrible.
You gotta do that.
You gotta take that.
Yeah, they suck.
Yeah, no, I couldn't take it back.
Who cares?
They were terrible.
You showed your whole hand.
There's nothing...
Yeah, it's awful.
I even said,
let's just text Triggs.
He'll make something good.
Oh.
That's brutal.
Yeah, it was pretty tough.
It was pretty tough.
What are you gonna do? So funny, though, pretty tough. It was pretty tough. What are you going to do?
So funny, though, just to be caught in that situation.
Can I see?
I want to talk about how bad they are.
The worst situation, accidentally texting someone.
He did make a good A.
That's what you're picking out?
Yeah, no.
Good A?
No, that's how we've come back from it.
We're like, look, dude.
A was good. A a 19 other bad letters yeah you can figure out a way to make this a
like a bigger part of this shirt and we'll be good
all right tj just sent you
wait till you guys see this a though is the Is the A that good? A is so good.
What was the theme?
What direction did you give him?
They're dog dad shirts for Father's Day.
Okay.
So the A.
I didn't give him direction, which is my fault.
Yeah.
Should have sat with him and been like, hey, this is what I'm thinking.
But also good on him for initiative.
Yes.
He was in the meeting.
He's like, yeah, these shirts aren't that good.
He didn't make the original shirts, which actually were better than the ones he did make.
So I don't think it's that big of a deal that they suck.
But, yeah.
No one would wear that.
It's kind of like you buy-
Look at that A, though.
Look at that A.
That's Stella in the A.
Yeah.
That's fucking dope.
Right.
The pause, the pause is-
It's such a busy shirt.
It looks like a shirt that you would see at like Claire's.
Yeah.
It's kind of women designed.
And I just trashed them.
Yeah, it's a bad shirt.
But the A.
Look at the A.
Zoom in on that A.
Dog mom.
Dog mom.
That might go.
In pink.
Look at that A.
Sell it on the boardwalk.
That's a genius A.
A is incredible. That's a genius A A is incredible
That's a fucking great A
If we just put
I was like just maybe
Make the shirt just A
What's the paw prints on the
I don't know
Oh man yeah
Yeah it's not good
No no
It's not good Davey
No it's not like you suck
And then to put the logo too
Like that's not necessary
That's a rough one
Brandon where you going
Walking I just Oh we'll put your name on We're gonna put your name on I gotta walk I gotta walk a logo too like that's not necessary that's a rough one brennan where you going walking i just
keep oh we'll put your name on we're gonna put your name on i gotta walk i came up to him and
he just was like he was at like seven o'clock when i came back for the stream he just gave me one of
these he just was like shaking his head i was like yeah dude it dude. You know what? We can laugh about this someday.
What's going on in this game?
Let's find out.
It wasn't like an incompetent.
No, it was not.
It's just something no one would ever buy.
Yeah, but it's like the design elements were there.
He did cool things with it.
Right.
The balance was a little off.
Ooh.
I regret it.
No, I don't, Well no I don't actually
I don't regret it
Mississippi State is down
Get Brandon's ass in here
By one point
That A dude
That A was good
That was a good A
Maybe just clean everything
And just keep the A
Just keep the A
Maybe it's A dog dad
It's just
Just straight text
You should send it back
Like I did some Cleanups Just the A Reworked it yeah. It's just straight text. You should send it back.
Like I did some cleanups.
Just the A?
I reworked it, yeah, and it's just an A.
Maybe we should just make an alphabet shirt.
You should put Stella in every letter.
That's kind of fire.
That is kind of fire.
And the S is a different color maybe or something?
And S is blue?
S is blue, yeah.
Marquette.
Marquette advances overtime, 72-70.
Let's put on the Mississippi State game.
Get Brandon's ass back in here.
Here he comes.
There goes my hero.
Watch him as he goes.
All right.
When dreaming, I'm guided to another place.
That type of shit.
How is Mississippi State's record better than Florida,
but they're a lower seed?
Explain that to me, Brandon.
Well, because they have a better SEC record than we do.
We have a tougher schedule.
Enough about tax season, though.
Am I right, brother?
Am I right?
Oh, shit. Oh we called to charge?
Are we called to charge?
What do you call that?
All right, so it's 46-45 Florida.
They called to charge.
They called to charge.
They called to charge.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I hope we go to like five overtimes.
Maybe I'll do my son's parent-teacher conference in here too.
With it real hard.
What if we zoomed in?
That would be bad.
Was it the press that's gotten us? Is that why we haven't scored much this half? we zoomed in. That would be bad.
Was it the press that's gotten us? Is that why we haven't scored much this half?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you guys used to get in trouble after
parent-teacher conference? Yes.
My mom just gave me the high lines.
I don't think, I mean, what do you do for
a three and a half year old? They're just going to be like,
he's a great kid. He poops
his pants every now and then.
When did kids
stop wearing pampers?
Go pass.
Go pass.
Go pass.
Good.
Good pass.
My son was probably
a little late to potty training.
He was about three and a half
when he started
picking it up.
Interesting.
Damn, this is... This is... He also... I mean, this is just little kids, this is...
He also...
I mean, this is just little kids, but like...
He is potty trained.
And he thinks he has to wipe his penis after he pees.
I'm like, bro, this is chick shit.
You do?
Yeah, apparently that's like a thing that some dudes do.
You do?
Yeah.
So I'm just not being progressive?
I don't wipe my pants.
It's not like...
I don't wipe...
We got any penis wipers in here?
Don't wipe it, but I need to start.
We got any penis wipers in here?
I probably should wipe it.
Nah, I wouldn't do it.
Well, he just doesn't understand.
You know, he goes no hands, so that's the problem.
He stands like this with his hands on his head.
Fucking boss move
Maybe a dab
Maybe a dab of the penis
Just a quick dab
I never dab
I'll see him fucking just
Unrolling the whole toilet paper
I need it
That's a power move
I know
I do that too
Well it's good cause now
I have plausible deniability
When I clog the toilet
I gotta use half a roll
For one wipe
Lenny I fucking love that dude I'd use half a roll for one wipe.
Lenny.
I fucking love that dude.
He's just always a good dude.
Yeah, pretty good posture, too.
All tied up.
Hanging out.
Seeing this, Brandon?
All tied up.
Got it.
We're good.
This is where we want to be.
We're in a close game.
We've been in close games all year.
Can we get some gators in the chat?
Why? Oh, sorry. Can we get some gators in the chat? Why?
Oh, sorry.
Can we get some boot gators?
Nice.
Good finish.
Good finish.
One stop right here. Let's open this up a little bit.
Yep.
Widen this gap.
Widen the gap.
Is this March Madness?
Come on, D.
I have to make wrong leave.
All right.
Sass that you. God damn it, don't give up a rebound. Fuck. Oh, oh, D. I have to make wrong leave. All right. Sass that you.
God damn it, don't give up a rebound.
Fuck.
Oh, oh, oh.
You're a good fan.
Whoa.
Hey, now.
This year's version of whatever, Bracket Busters.
Yeah, Bracket Busters.
It's going to be awesome.
Yes, is that out?
Is that released yet? No, I talked about it yesterday on Yeah, Bracket Buskers. It's going to be awesome. Is that out? Is that released yet?
No, I don't know.
We talked about it yesterday on the act.
Oh, they did.
I didn't.
Do we talk about what the prize is?
No.
A trip to...
Can we or no?
I don't know.
I don't even know.
I won't.
I won't.
There's a cool prize, though.
It's a trip prize.
Comes out Tuesday.
I hope I win, man. Bro Tuesday I hope I win man Bro I hope you win too
I hope
The trip to Iran
Yeah that'd be dope
On state
Double up
Hey take out a few letters
Yeah
Yeah kinda
And that's a clue
Wait wait don't tell me shit Why didn't this guy Understand Oh look it letters. Yeah. Yeah, kind of. And that's a clue. It's a clue.
Wait, wait, don't tell me shit.
Why didn't this guy understand?
Let's go.
Oh, look it.
We got Gators and Bulldogs in the chat.
Let's go, Maroon.
Oh, that's not a charge.
That was a charge.
What is a charge?
No, it was a charge.
You were wrong.
It was a charge.
It was 100% a charge.
It was a flop.
Some respect for yourself.
It was a flop.
It was a charge.
They called it a charge.
Sass, where did you get that clown mask that you had?
Oh, dude, it was just in the green room at a comic.
You were rocking it.
That was such a funny video.
It was one of those ones that the lips would move with it.
So you would talk, and the mouth was moving.
It was crazy.
Apparently they did some weird Halloween thing,
and someone just left it there.
It's a movie quality shit.
I felt like I was in a movie.
Made me miss the days when you used to do videos.
We've been working on a lot of stuff
that should come out sometime soon.
Was that an announcement?
It's not really an announcement,
but we've been working on a sketch thing.
I'm out on the floor.
Sounds like it's an announcement.
I heard good things.
Your 20 minutes of what?
Sketches.
That's awesome.
How many minutes are you going for?
We're trying to do episodes once a month.
How long would the episodes be?
Probably 15 to 20.
Oh, nice.
Who is we?
Yeah, the whole crew.
Anyone you want to dox?
Tommy?
No.
Tommy's not part of it?
No. What? He's not allowed. He's a sketch No. Tommy's not part of it? No.
What?
He's not allowed.
He's a sketch guy.
He's a sketchy guy.
He is a sketchy guy.
I have no idea when that's going to come out, but...
Mad sketchy.
And he's horny as hell.
Tommy fucks though, right?
Oh my God, of course.
Him and Glennie.
That's why I sent him, John Glennie,. Storm chasers for the ride of a lifetime.
Did they fuck?
Those guys are going
out fucking
religiously.
Hell yes.
Good for them.
Remember when
Glennie got a
pussy eating injury
neck injury.
Yeah.
Speaking of which
I've had a thought
this week.
That's what happens
when the yak goes
long.
Just get it off your chest.
Stephen Chay's on vacation.
Yeah.
There's been multiple times where I'm like,
he's probably eating some pussy right now.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but that's not a good thing to have popping your head.
He's going to town.
There's no doubt.
And he's brought this up himself.
He's eating crepes. That's so
conducive. I can imagine.
You know, folded. It's the same. It's like
goes well with. Yeah.
It goes well with pussy. That's the best part about
Stephen Chay is like every
crepe, every experience for Stephen Chay
is like a new experience.
Eating a crepe is like
I was just on the most popular food network.
Yeah, like it's just
he is truly like an alien that just came down to earth. was just like, what? It's not the most popular food in the world. Yeah, like it's just...
He is truly like an alien that just came down to Earth.
He's like, what is this?
Unlimited positivity.
Yeah.
What is this text from Kate?
What'd she say?
I think it's meant for a ZeroBlock30 group chat.
You want to spin the wheel, TJ?
I'm confused by that.
We did it.
It came up dry.
Oh, it did?
Yes, sir.
Why, should we spin it again?
No, I missed it.
I missed the spin. Brandon, it did? Yes, sir. Why? Should we spin it again? No, I missed it. I missed the spin.
Brandon, you got to win this.
We must win this.
If we win this, we're in the tournament.
If we don't win it, we could be out of the tournament.
But Michigan just lost.
I didn't know the content that me and you could do if DePaul and Mississippi State played each other.
Well, DePaul's nowhere close to the tournament.
Oh, my God.
Sign me up for that live.
DePaul's still alive.
DePaul's nowhere close to the tournament. DePaul's still alive. If we win this game, we're in the tournament. DePaul has to win the next three games. DePaul's nowhere close to the tournament. Oh, my God. Sign me up for that live. DePaul's still alive. DePaul's nowhere close to the tournament.
DePaul's still alive.
We win this game, we're in the tournament.
DePaul has to win the next three games.
DePaul's still alive.
You guys are going to be chopping it up on the street.
Even though neither of you went to the schools that you're talking about.
Oh, no, I went there for a minute.
Dude, I had a...
What's that?
For a minute.
Kind of.
What?
Well, you went to the school.
Yeah, I'm aware of where it is.
I live there.
I had a dude in Poughkeepsie tell me that he went to West Point, or he goes to West Point.
I graduated from West Point.
I was like, oh, how long have you been there?
He was like, a year and a half.
I was like, oh, nice.
And then he told me that he works for a company that works with West Point.
He's on his George Santos shit.
Yeah.
He was shocked that I was surprised that he didn't go to West Point.
What did he say?
He was like, well, I go there.
Oh, come on.
Oh, Brandon.
Starting to feel good.
You never ask.
You guys won't blow this.
Yeah, he's alive.
I got an idea.
I got an idea.
This is crazy. One time everybody get on Team Brandon Wall. I'm rooting for Mississippi State. Yeah, he's alive. I got an idea. I got an idea. This is crazy.
One time everybody get on Team Brandon Wall.
I'm rooting for Mississippi State.
One time.
One time.
What do you want me to do?
I was on your side.
I was on your side yesterday.
One time.
I was on your side yesterday.
Let's go.
Next seven minutes.
Let's go.
I could have been more on your side yesterday.
You didn't play yesterday.
No, but when you said I'm interviewing Throgod, I was like, that's awesome.
Do it.
I was on your side. I was like, that's awesome. I was on your side.
I was like, that would be a great interview.
You should put it out.
Hold on.
You ain't got nothing.
What are you doing?
Oh.
That was a good shot.
He's not the guy that should be shooting.
Also, you are talking about barstool sports.
Everyone roots against everyone's team all the time.
Even if they're not.
That's a foul on them, right?
That's a foul on them?
Even if they're not.
You call that a foul on us?
It's on us.
It's on us.
Damn it.
God damn it, it's on us.
All right, I'll root for you.
No, I'll make you a deal.
Mississippi State wins, Florida covers.
I have six.
Six points. Look, a gift horse in the mouth. All right, but Florida covers. I have six. Six points.
Look a gift horse in the mouth.
This means you have to pay me back for my bet
if they don't cover.
Your bet? Yes.
That's my next 25.
Are you grabbing a round of snacks?
I'm hungry as hell.
That was funny last night, Sass, when you asked me
how much I had on that game
Oh yeah
Was that real?
Yeah
Yes
What was his answer?
A lot of money
Gosh
I was like
I have $25
That I'm willing to spend
Oh
That's a big one
Who hit that?
Florida did?
Dammit
God damn it
Okay
God damn it
God damn it
Can't let those ones up
Our offense up
Come on God damn it We God damn it. Can't let those ones up. Offense up. Come on.
God damn it.
We need this.
There it is.
Beautiful.
Oh, Tulu.
Oh.
You got to hit those.
That's a bunny.
That's a bunny.
You're good, Brandon.
That's a bunny, yeah.
If he just jerked off on you.
On your face.
God damn it.
That's a fucking buddy.
That's the ball game. That foul they called it. You think that was the ball game?
They've been missing that layoff. I was about to say that's the ball
game, but I didn't want to say it. Never say die.
It's the Mississippi State. Oh, look at that.
Strong D. Strong D. Oh, why are they
pushing it? Why are they pushing it?
Bring it home. Bring it home. Bring it home.
Why are they pushing it?
Dang it.
Oh. Cash. Oh. What Dang it. Oh, cash.
Oh.
What the heck?
Oh, they're being sloppy.
They're being dumb.
They're being dumb with it now.
Brandon, why are you pushing it?
You're not a pushing it team.
I don't know.
I don't know.
His hair is cool as hell.
Mississippi State is playing like they're down 10 right now.
No.
How'd this go in?
That was wet.
I mean, that's a good shot.
Remember Scotty Wilbekin?
Yes.
That was such a sad yes.
Remember Dante Jones?
Remember other good players?
How about that cornerback y'all have?
Every year it's another awesome cornerback.
Who?
Will Rogers?
What?
Huh?
Will Rogers?
Will Rogers is a quarterback.
He's talking about cornerbacks.
I can't hear him.
He's way over there.
Eli Forbes.
Get closer, Ron.
No, it's not Eli.
It's something Forbes.
Manuel Forbes.
Manuel Forbes.
Skinniest ankles I've ever seen in my life.
But he had six.
You shouldn't make fun of that.
Why not?
Six interceptions return for a touchdown or some shit like that?
I'd made him that way.
Don't do that.
We're going to lose and I've got to do this.
He's a ball hawk though.
I'm going to get a bunch of yak DMs.
What are they going to say?
Everyone please, if you're going to DM Brandon
do not say...
Everybody be on team Brandon one time.
We are.
We're all on team Brandon right now. You want to use it right now?
What? I'll go full team Brandon.
I don't want to have to pay your...
No, I'm just saying I'll never
do it again.
You want to use it? I get one team
Brandon? One team Brandon. Don't waste it.
Don't waste it on this.
Wind your contract up.
I'm going to save it for later.
Don't waste it on this.
Oh, let's go, Brandon.
Oh.
Good D.
Good D, though.
Stop pushing it.
Why are you guys playing like this, Brandon?
Tell the fucking coach to chill out.
Chris Johns.
Johns.
No, he's from Philly.
I remember them from the barstool.
Yeah, Chulu Smith is an absolute beast.
Chulu. Chulu. Chulu Smith is an absolute beast. Tulu.
Tulu.
Tulu's on our football team.
You have a Tulu and a Tulu?
We have a Tulu and a Tulu, yes.
Charge!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Charge, charge.
Charge.
He called it a charge.
Whip it real hard.
Oh, that's the kid from...
Is that the kid from Baylor?
No. That's Easy Charge. Oh, that's it kid from – is that the kid from Baylor? No.
That's an easy charge.
Oh, that's it.
Yeah.
That's like the end of Eddie.
Yeah.
Well, it wasn't really the end.
About 30 minutes left.
That's when I walked out.
She takes the charge from the European guy, right?
Yvonne shoot ball.
No, but that's the last –
Oh, it is right.
That's how they win the game. You're right. I know more about
sports movies than you. You know more about Eddie, yeah.
I just watched Eddie.
He's got a sports movie podcast.
What happened with that?
I don't know why they haven't put... What's going on here?
Just sloppy.
Did he dribble that?
Oh, yeah. Take him. Take him.
Why isn't the sports movie podcast
coming out? I don't know.
Oh!
Oh, it's Shaw!
Hook!
He got called with a hook!
For everyone who's not watching, who's watching the act, 51-51, 431 left.
Chris Johns just got upset.
Shands!
It's Shands!
Johns.
Like, I like your Johns.
Yeah.
Those are some sick Johns, bro.
That was probably the game.
Yonder's in good shape.
Don't foul.
Don't foul out here.
Come on.
This is a stream now?
We're just doing a gaming stream?
Yeah.
Competing with another gaming stream?
Oh, God, not a white guy.
Oh.
It's hard to find the bottom of the rim right now.
It's hard to find the bottom of the rim.
Come on, don't do that.
Why are they shooting so early in the shot clock?
That wasn't the one.
They're not playing Mississippi State Bulldog basketball, boys.
Rundo.
Dunk it. Dunk it.
Dunk it.
He dunked it.
All right.
Defense right now.
All those dudes just look like Brandon.
Yeah.
They showed the crowd.
A bunch of Brandons.
Out of bounds.
Out of bounds.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go.
Smart timeout.
Smart timeout.
It's a media timeout.
Great usage.
All right, we're up two.
We got the ball.
We score here, then stop them and score again.
I feel good.
How are you guys doing?
What a lackluster organization those Florida Gators are.
They don't achieve as much as they should.
Right, for what they are.
Yeah.
They hired Mississippi State's athletic director five years ago,
and he has tanked their entire program, and I like it because fuck him.
What's a good athletic director?
Thank you. What type of moves are they making jesus yeah it's a big order to tote bag yeah uh
good athletic director alabama's got a very good one greg burn he's very good he hires a lot of
good coaches he hired nate oats to turn their basketball program around isn't that just like
money though it's money yeah athletic directors are kind of administrative, kind of a...
Executive producers.
Yeah, kind of a decorated position where they don't really do as much as you think,
but somebody has to do it.
Who's the most famous one now?
Athletic director?
I don't know if there is one.
Yeah. Yeah, that's depressing. I don't know if there is one yeah
yeah that's
depressing
I'm focused on this game
you got me answering questions
okay
I don't really force that upon you in any way
you're kind of
willingly contributing to that
you also fully were like
how are you guys doing
yes and I asked you a question that i
thought you would like to answer i didn't order this much mcdonald's well yeah what is in there
uh filet-o-fish you tried the popeyes fish sandwich no i don't like it i heard it was good
it's good yeah you don't like fish sandwiches but you bought a Filet-O-Fish?
Old white guys love Filet-O-Fish.
I fucking love fish, man.
Filet-O-Fishes are good.
I never had a Filet-O-Fish, though.
But I had the Popeye's one.
I thought it was good.
You had it?
I tried getting it.
They were out.
You got McDonald's?
Yeah.
A lot of it.
God damn it.
Good move.
It would have been good karma to get it for all of us.
I didn't know that we were going to do this.
Yeah, I mean, it's tough to root for you when you don't get us McDonald's.
Would you all like McDonald's now?
I'll order it.
I'll order any food you'd like.
I'll order four different orders for four different things. I suddenly just lost my appetite.
Up's the roll, Sass?
Lomo, Roan?
No, no, no.
Your karma's restored.
Thank you.
Man offered you Lomo.
All right, ball in.
53-51, Mississippi State.
3.30 left in the game.
Trying to bring it up.
Struggling.
We got it.
Got it.
That's point guard.
The Gators just know what they're doing on D.
That's the problem.
This is the offense they want to be in.
Bring it to the house.
Oh.
Stripped.
And then a three.
Cash.
Bring it home.
Bring it home.
Kick it back out. Kick it back out. Kick it back out. Reset. Bring it home. Bring it home. Kick it back out.
Kick it back out.
Kick it back out.
Reset.
Take it home.
Reset.
No, that was.
There were three minutes left.
He's not a good free throw shooter.
If we get one out of these two, I'm good.
I'm happy.
You better not.
Florida doesn't cover you on me.
Oh, you what? On my bet. No, I don good. I'm happy. You better not – If Florida doesn't cover you, you owe me. Owe you what?
My bet.
No, I don't.
Did I agree to that?
Is that what I shook your hand for?
You shook hands.
All right.
That'll take me months to pay off.
Shook hands.
I said I'll root for Mississippi State as long as Florida covers.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Oh, come on.
Look how good our maroon uniforms look.
Gross.
Maroon's the best uniform color.
Nope.
For teams in Mississippi.
Ooh, cookies.
Cookies.
We're pressing, too.
Everybody's pressing.
Why?
Why are you pressing?
Play it straight up.
I'll hit that.
Good, good.
Good D, good D.
Slow it down.
Slow it down.
Slow it down.
Slow it down.
Oh, bring it home.
Sarah Lee.
I'm not covering this game.
Fuck.
This isn't good.
Oh, this isn't good for me.
I want my filet of fish, but I don't want to eat it.
Just eat it.
Oh, you got filet.
Are you on your lunch shit?
Rate my bagel order.
I just ordered it.
Okay, what is it? It's everything bagel toasted.
Yes, check, check.
Pastrami, bacon,
and hot honey cream cheese.
Oh, that might be...
I'm worried. I think it might be bad.
I think you brought it back with the hot honey.
You sound high as hell, but it sounds good.
What? You sound high.
Yeah. I've had the hot honey
and it's very good, but I don't know if it'll...
The pastrami might be...
Flaxseed.
I don't know about the pastrami.
The pastrami was risky.
Pastrami is going to make or break.
Because if you just took out...
If you just did bacon, everything bagel, hot honey, cream cheese, that sounds elite.
Oh.
Got to make your free throws.
Yeah, if the pastrami's really good...
It's a make or miss lead.
Oh, see.
If the pastrami's trash, it could ruin it.
But you can also just slide that off.
Yeah.
Toluse Smith in the line.
Shooting one.
A bacon.
Oh!
Let's go.
Oh, yes!
Mississippi State up now four.
Defense.
235 on the clock.
Florida in the bonus.
Mississippi State also in the bonus.
Possession arrow, Mississippi State.
Good recap.
How's the Filet-O-Fish?
It's terrific.
Florida.
Foul.
Don't foul.
Read, don't foul.
A little lost.
Nice ball fake. Aisha. Three from the corner. Aisha. Off the foul. Read. Don't foul. A little lost. Nice ball fake.
Aisha.
Three from the corner.
Aisha.
Off the rim.
Come on.
Rebound Mississippi State.
They're going to cover.
I'm going to be a sad boy.
Take it home.
Take it home.
I'm going to be a very sad boy.
God damn, Brandon.
I told you I couldn't have them fucking cover.
Got time.
Do you think Aisha Curry is just naturally a little bit good at shooting threes?
Yeah.
From that energy force.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't like that.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
Come on.
All right, Brandon, so I'm going to lose this.
No, we're up six.
We just need to win by five, right?
I realize I have five, not six.
Which we need to win by four?
Yeah.
Four's a little close.
I know.
It's not going to happen.
He's about to score.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
This guy with the purple hair sucks.
Oh, my God.
That happened.
Oh, my God.
Florida sucks.
Get the ball!
Oh!
Oh!
Huge three.
57-54.
Oh, easy, Brandon.
Easy.
What the hell is that?
That's another one with cheese on it?
It's like putting cheese on an apple pie.
They all have cheese on them.
They do?
They all come with half a slice of cheese.
Half a slice.
What the hell?
Nasty.
Why not some tartar sauce or some mayonnaise?
You can't walk.
We're going to lose the game if you walk.
That filet-o-fish looks good.
I have to go to this freaking parent-teacher conference.
Oh, that sucks.
No, I'm going to watch from right outside. watching the game if i want some fries
maybe just one throw it over
throw me one
in your mouth Don't try.
Oh, that was a good throw, Roan.
Perfect throw.
Now I got to try.
That was a bad throw.
All right.
Oh!
In and out.
I need to get one.
The size is tough.
That one.
Man, that's classic McDonald's.
I can't find a good throwing size.
I'll get it.
This one?
Yeah, I'm elite.
McDonald's reminds me of hospitals.
Oh!
Elite.
Just give me a chance.
Let me make a play, coach.
You guys remember the first time you had fast food?
No.
No, it might have been the first day I was alive.
He had a McFlurry in his fucking bottle.
All right, I'm going to sit right up here.
All right, here we go, Brandon.
We need a bucket on this possession.
We do.
Trapped.
He's trapped.
Doubling him up.
God damn it, they're doubling him up.
All right, we're good.
Everybody relax.
Set a pick.
We score here.
I feel good.
Find the open man.
That's our best player.
He needs to hit this.
I'm going to repost.
Clock's ticking.
Clock's ticking.
There he is.
Put it up.
Put it up.
No.
Foul, foul, foul.
That stays.
That stays. It's going to be a shot clock anyway.
We didn't get a shot off.
We didn't get a fucking shot off.
Well, the time was precious.
You bled the clock, and now it's important.
But if they hit a three right here, they'll tie the game.
I understand that, Rome.
It's more for the viewer.
Okay.
And the podcast listener.
I'm a viewer.
You're a walker, man.
And don't you ever fucking forget it.
I can't.
Not with these ears.
Can't.
Can't.
Can't.
Granddaddy had big ears.
And he was racist.
Yours was?
Uh-huh.
You think it was his fault, or you think he was just angry,
or that's just what he was taught?
I once went out to cover something for the newspaper out in the county,
and the guy that was doing the barbecue cooking that night said,
hey, let me show you something.
And he took me to the back bar, and he said,
we used to have some meetings in there.
Your granddaddy was part of them.
That was it. I didn't go back.
Jesus Christ.
What meetings they were, I'll never know.
I've guessed.
Probably Narcotics Anonymous.
Yes, or some sort of homeless outreach.
Yeah, Soup Kitchen.
Although we don't really have...
Is he popping a zit on camera?
Homeless shelters,
it seems like a good idea to try and help those out,
but it's really just a lot of meal prep.
Like, you're just really just putting lasagna... Boys are hungry.
Yeah.
God damn, they're hungry.
They are. A little more than... boys can eat chill chill out a little
calm down boys could be the game they're starving they are hungry
come on d the hell up what now oh no oh no oh no What? No. Oh! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Okay, 36 seconds left.
Tie game.
You can score here, Brandon.
Eat harder.
Eat more.
Eat, eat, eat, eat.
Florida only needs a three.
No, they just got it.
They did?
Yeah.
No way.
Are you kidding?
We're not happy about that. Oh, my God. Ever since you left, this is Team Brandon. They did? Yeah. No way. Are you kidding? We're not happy about that.
Oh, my God.
Ever since you left, this is Team Brandon Walker room now.
Not anymore.
Not anymore, it's not.
Oh, my God, it's died with 36 seconds.
You got this, Brandon.
Eat.
Remember when you texted the wrong group?
I did.
The ZBT has more of a Babadook vibe than the Yak.
It's a little darker.
I didn't know what the hell that meant.
Yeah, no.
What was the text?
It was about the Abbey Gate bombing in Kabul two years ago.
It's not as fun as watching a Mississippi State
bomb, that's for sure.
There's different types of
conversations.
Different types, yeah.
Everything can't be
all roses and sunshine.
Mississippi State inbounding the ball
and they're pressing.
Florida's pressing. Come on now, Brandon.
Get up now, Brandon. Get up now, Brandon.
Anticipating a clip.
Connor Griffin's in this, bitch.
A lot of passing going on.
Okay, they're biding their time.
Five seconds between the shot clock and the game clock.
20 seconds left.
It's got to be now, Brandon.
Holy shit, man.
The whole season's on the line.
Not you, not there.
He misses!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Five seconds for to have some ball
and maybe he misses the ball.
One!
Okay, over to you.
Oh, yeah.
Woo!
Yeah. Good D. Oh, team. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Woo. Woo. Gee.
Yeah.
Good D.
Good D.
I don't want to do this on camera.
Can we just...
You don't want to do it on camera.
You don't want to do it on camera over there.
Hey, brother, this is barstool, all right?
Yeah.
That's what you signed up for.
This is fucking barstool, okay?
Good D.
Sloppy. Sloppy Sloppy
I know, Sass
I know
I'm talking about
The Gators
What was it?
I don't know
What happened?
The TV just shut off
What'd you do?
What'd you turn the TV off for?
The TV just shut off
Well, there's a commercial break
Before halftime, right?
Or before overtime
We can see commercials
But I'm saying We have time to fix that Before it comes back on Maybe DJ It's a commercial break before halftime, right? Or before overtime. We can see commercials.
But I'm saying we have time to fix that before it comes back on, maybe. CJ!
They catch on a parent-teacher conference right now.
Right.
Find out if he did it.
Stop, he's talking to Miss Lexi.
Okay.
Yeah, can I have some of those fries?
They look really good.
Will you catch one in your mouth?
Yeah, yeah.
Hold on.
I've got to take my teeth out.
Final two weeks of my teeth.
Okay.
Man, those Tennessee pants are cool. Oh my teeth. Okay.
Man, those Tennessee pants are cool.
Oh, wow.
Okay, we're not paying attention to when Kate does it.
We're watching your game.
She went right in the... Yep.
She always catches it.
Right in her mouth.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
I got it.
Don't worry.
I still caught it.
Too low.
I got it. You're not going to got it. Too low. I got it.
You're not going to finish that Filet-O-Fish, Brendan?
No, I don't know.
Why not?
Because I'm too nervous to eat it.
Let me get a whack of it.
Catch it in your mouth.
That's a great bite, the tail crispy end.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Wow.
Stress eating French fries.
How'd they hit both those three?
Stress eating French fries.
You got to think, if they don't hit that three.
It's the same guy.
Hit all three of them.
That Mississippi State wins that game.
That was not a foul.
You've got to think, if they don't call that foul, Mississippi State,
you know, they're in the locker room already.
All right, Kyle's got his bagel.
And let's take a look at it for the camera
Very red
Pastrami looks like a tomato
Almost
Looks like tomatoes
Looks like damn tomatoes
But
Is that lox what the hell
Is that pastrami for sure
There comes the tip off
Yeah
Like fucking jadicus bro Here comes the tip-off. Yeah. It's locks. It is a lock.
Like fucking Jadakiss, bro.
Like goddamn Sheik Looch.
Very good.
Very good.
Is it good?
Uh-huh.
What inspired you?
Did it start at the hot honey?
Mm-hmm.
Fuck it.
There it is. And one!
And one!
Let's go, Brandon.
I throw it to him every time.
He has to take every shot.
You like his sleeves?
If he likes them.
Yeah.
If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad.
That's what I fucking say, man.
If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?
That's what I'm saying.
A nice divorce song.
You know your Crow shit?
That's Sheryl Crow, yes.
I'd be so pissed off if I was dating Sheryl Crow
and I heard that fucking song.
What, bitch? Say it to my face.
Well, in her first song, she just called Billy at the bar ugly.
Wait.
His name is William Mac.
Billy or something.
He's never seen a day of fun in his whole life?
She's assuming that, too.
He roasted his ass.
He's at the bar.
Man-hating energy.
They are drinking beer at noon on Tuesday, though.
The good people of the world are washing their cars on their lunch breaks.
He's got to hit another three.
Hosing and scrubbing as best they can in skirts and suits.
I always found their jobs they went back to were interesting.
The phone company and the record store, too?
Yeah, because, like, are you making that much money at the record store?
Oh!
What kind of cars are they driving?
Drive your shiny...
Datsuns and Buicks.
What's a Datsun?
It's a little tiny truck.
It's maybe a car, too, but I see it as a truck.
Well, in any case, they're nothing like her and Billy.
They used to make trucks really small.
Yeah, it was fun.
They were damn near.
What's a Pinto?
That's a car.
Okay, it's not a car.
That was a Ford.
Ford Pinto.
Oh, too good a position right there.
And I am.
God damn it.
How is this happening to us?
Does he get
to shoot twice for that?
And one, Kate.
Just making sure
you know the rules.
A lot of bad things
always happen to me and Brandon.
Our fucking dogs die.
What's up, pal?
I don't lie. Ball don't lie.
Ball don't lie.
No, it don't.
Ball don't lie.
Hey, ball don't lie.
I don't know if I love that pass.
Pass it to the, pass it to your guy.
Big, oh, there he is.
Yep.
A lot of dribbling going on.
Oh, no.
Three-pointer.
It was bad.
It was a bank.
So bad.
They're scrambling.
Florida got the ball.
Oh, gosh.
Brandon's standing with his hands on his hips.
He just stops.
Stop ball, stop ball, stop ball.
Oh, they're going right in there.
They missed.
Rebound goes to Florida.
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold it.
They're running for it.
They're losing their marbles.
Oh, an alley-oop. They're running for it. They're losing their marbles. Oh, and L.U.!
And L.U.!
Oh, it's such a wrestling-ass woo.
Ric Flair.
Wow.
You don't hear a lot of woos like that.
You heard, I mean.
That was from the. When did Let's Go start? I don't know a lot of woos like that. You heard, I mean. That was from the.
When did Let's Go start?
I don't know.
When Big Ev got hired?
No, it was before Big Ev.
But he made it a hot song.
Oh, a little John.
Let's Go.
No, but like.
It's like a cheer.
I don't know.
When people started going, I guess.
Man, it's recent.
I'm saying woo used to be a thing.
Up five.
Now this is also encringing on betting territory.
I can't believe people are ever talking about hooray.
Hooray.
This was so stupid.
Like a massive man screaming hooray.
Like a barrel-chested dude.
Yippee!
Hooray!
Yeah, yippee is another one.
Oh, too clean.
Too clean.
Hooray.
That was so clean.
How about that alley-oop, Brandon?
Mm-hmm.
I remember it like it was yesterday, man. There's the
Brandons again.
Although I don't wear hats. Much less a
backwards hat.
Let's see what it looks like.
Can't wear a hat. We can't be fucking around right now, Ron.
Alright. You're right. We got a
good thing going for us.
Zass, you like James Taylor? You like James Taylor, Zass uh yeah i don't i don't i'm not in my mind
i'm going to it's like a better bob dylan i know the well now but i mean he has good songs but he
doesn't have nearly as many good songs as bob dylan not even like probably not even within a
hundred a hundred you think he's got a hundred better songs than j? He needs to hop off Bob Dylan's meat, brother.
Really disrespectful of James Taylor.
Right.
Yeah.
Also had a great career.
James Taylor has like five good songs.
He has a lot.
Bob Dylan has like 500 good songs.
Well, that's now your two different numbers.
You said 100, and now you're at 500.
You're taking a magic carpet ride on that man's meat, brother.
I need you to hop off.
He does.
It's true.
All right.
I need the magic to end.
All right.
Five-point game.
Sass is on Bob Dylan's meat.
Yeah.
Oh.
2.17 left.
I think they got to get rid of cheerleaders.
Okay.
I'll hear you out. Well, there's male cheerleaders
too.
It does feel a little... Definitely get rid of that.
Like, do you need people
cheering? Get rid of that first.
But it's just for dudes to get horny
at the game. Yeah, that's pretty much literally all it is.
And guys also ignore them at the game.
Yeah.
I don't think it's as big of a thing as it used to be.
That's why I said I think it's dated.
I think that there's guys at every single football game
or wherever cheerleaders are that are taking pictures of the cheerleaders
and using binoculars to look at the cheerleaders from far away.
But if I'm on the second row and there's cheerleaders in front of me
and there's a play behind them, get out of the way.
Yeah, you're right.
I can see cheerleading being a thing we look back at 20 years from now.
Like, what?
I could see you being a male cheerleader for sure.
You have the body.
You got the build for it.
The body for it. You're strong.
You do have the build for it.
It's's flexibility.
Doing like back flips and shit.
Florida passing, passing, shooting, out.
Rebound, rebound, rebound.
How did that happen?
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Fudge. What a last name
hell yeah a lot of people are calling me gay from the son of a boy that episode
that's cool i hope you are i'm not A lot of people are calling me gay from the Son of a Boy night episode.
That's cool.
I hope you are.
I'm not.
I know, right?
Do you think Joey and Pat get married?
They might.
I did.
I woke up this morning and I thought about that.
I was like, that's probably going to happen.
What take did you have that was gay?
Talking about getting twirled around by gay dudes at the duplex.
I guess in hindsight is a little gay.
Kind of gay.
I wasn't expecting that answer.
I talked about getting twirled around by gay dudes at the duplex.
I was talking about how gay bars can be fun.
Oh, yeah.
Big time. Also, I exaggerated a lot fun. Oh, yeah. Big time.
Also, I exaggerated a lot of it for the jokes. Of course.
I was kind of sloppy.
Oh, goddammit.
Oh, got our fingers.
One and one.
One and one, Brandon.
Brandon, it's a wrap.
You won.
It's not a wrap.
You won.
Brandon, you won. It's a wrap. The battle has been won, Brandon. Brandon, it's a wrap. You won. It's not a wrap. You won. Brandon, you won.
It's a wrap.
The battle has been won, brother.
We're doing this.
We're not a good free throw shooting team.
We're in fact a worse shooting team.
We're the third worst shooting team in America.
I can hear Tommy saying that shit like that.
Tommy Smoke?
No, you're Tommy.
But like rattling off a stat like that.
Very statistic based.
Facts don't care about your feelings.
In my mind I'm going to Carolina.
Nah bro, go fucking sing your little Cats in the Cradle bullshit, bro.
You're fine.
This motherfucker's going to hit a three.
No.
From deep.
Deep.
He wants it.
He wants it.
Two's fine.
I'll give up a two.
Uh-oh.
Let him work.
Oh, no.
God bless America.
What the hell was that?
God damn it. It's just was that? God damn it.
It's just a three-point game now.
Brandon's in his comfort position.
I wouldn't hate a double.
Do they go double OT?
Yeah.
I wouldn't hate a double OT.
You're covering.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh.
Whoa.
Oh.
What is that? That's a wedgie. That means automatic floor to Whoa. Oh. What is that? What is that?
Wedgie.
That's a wedgie.
That means automatic floor to win.
Just finished my parent-teacher conference, but my son's not going to make it.
He's fucked.
God damn it.
That's more bad news.
School is just not for him.
It's over.
Let's see if we can get him into a union of some sort.
That's a good, honorable, you know, bricklayers.
Yeah, we can tell.
That's a wrap.
Honorable career.
These boys are hungry.
You ate that whole bagel already?
Yeah.
You didn't even give us-
Was it good?
It was very good.
Straw meat?
No, they gave me lox instead of the straw meat.
Kind of worked, but it was unnecessary. I think the hot honey with just the bacon would have been better. Was it good? It was very good. Pastrami? Yes or no? No, they gave me lox instead of pastrami. Oh.
Kind of worked, but it was unnecessary.
I think the hot honey with just the bacon would have been better.
They told you that they knew what you needed better than you knew what you needed.
Yeah, that may have been better than the pastrami.
I wouldn't hate a double OT.
I'm saying it.
Why, Sass? We want to get out of this thing with a freaking win.
Just love the best.
I say the names how I want to say the names.
You think he comes back next year?
No.
He's been in school
for a while.
It's a damn shame.
Ron Harper Jr. was there for a long time.
You got your
Mississippi State drawers on? Of course I do, Ron.
I don't think they're
really working that much. Well, we're up in
overtime. Saw your entire ass crack. Did you? Yeah. I think my ass crack showed. It doesn't look like they're really working that much. Well, we're up in overtime. Saw your entire ass crack.
Did you?
Yeah.
I think my ass crack showed.
It doesn't.
Did you see my ass crack?
I see your ass.
There was no crack, though.
Yeah, it's more of a smooth...
I see the cheeks.
Dip?
Yeah.
A little valley.
Mm-hmm.
What the hell?
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Are we getting got like we did? Oh, no. Oh, no.
Are we getting got like we did?
Oh, no.
Where's Frank the Tank?
He's soad.
No blood.
Big man, turn the TV back on.
I ain't playing around.
Big cat blood.
Big cat blood.
Who are these guys?
Tennessee.
Look at their wife beaters.
Yeah, they look dumb as fuck.
It's Ole Miss.
They're hiring their wife beater today.
Is this all at MSG right now?
No.
Where's this?
Every single game you see is MSG.
Where's this?
Multiple courts.
It's on the small stage.
Nashville.
Nashville.
They're playing at the Hulu Theater.
Yeah, underneath.
Basement. All right, Brandon. Come on, Brandon. Nashville. Nashville. They're playing at the Hulu Theater. Yeah, underneath in the basement.
All right, Brandon.
Come on, Brandon.
Don't come on too hard because I really, really want Florida to cover this game. Oh, my God.
A lot of big, wild passes.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, no!
Florida has the lead. Florida has the lead. Florida has the lead.
Florida has the lead.
68-67.
11.8 seconds left.
Mississippi State inbounds the ball.
Mississippi's running around.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
4.1 seconds left.
4.1 seconds left.
Hooray. 68. 69 seconds left. 4.1 seconds left. Hooray.
69-68.
Hooray.
What the fuck?
Hooray.
Hooray.
You gave us a hooray, bro.
You're corny as fuck.
Hooray.
We got to delete that.
We got to put that one next to the throw god pile.
No.
What the hell?
Why does it have to happen this way?
It's impossible to come back in four seconds, right?
There's no way.
Crazy.
Oh, Kate, I love it.
Impossible.
69-68.
You just can't foul.
69 of all scores.
The chat is firing off comments telling me to turn the TV off again.
Oh, man.
Kind of want you to.
Agent of chaos.
D up, Brandon.
D the hell up.
Get a stop.
Get a tip.
Get your hands on the freaking ball.
Whoopee.
Okay.
Breathe.
Breathe. Breathe, Brandon. Breathe. They're about to impound. A lot of time on the clock. Okay Breathe Breathe
They're about to inbound
A lot of time on the clock
Does Mississippi State have a timeout?
Florida throws it in
Oh
Oh
Florida
Shots up
Oh it missed
Brandon
Hooray Hooray
In the cover
Great doing business with you my friend
I'll get half that bet
Great doing business with you
Good team win guys
Everybody but Sass I thought was on the team
What?
I thought I was fucked in overtime
I'm sorry
No it was the perfect ending.
That was the perfect ending.
I really did.
I have no reason to root for Florida to win the game.
They got a good shot off, too.
They did.
What a fucking roller coaster.
You're going to go for a three there.
Hey, Sass, let me ask you a quick question.
How would you describe what just happened here?
I think you guys are looking for an answer, and I don't know what it is.
What?
Madness.
Was it madness?
Madness.
In March.
That felt like madness.
Felt like March madness.
Brandon, are you okay?
Yeah, now I've got to calm down and go do a sports movie podcast with
Clemmer that will never be released.
Oh, no.
This game was –
We're beating Alabama tomorrow.
Yeah?
Now, that I will root with you.
You want me on your side?
Yes.
I'm in that fucking –
Good.
You're in the hole tomorrow?
Oh, I am in the hole.
We're playing Alabama tomorrow at 1 o'clock.
Oh, let's go, Brandon.
All right.
We should be in the tournament, though.
Fuck them up.
Fuck, that was –
That was stressful.
That was an ordeal.
I thought you guys were –
The alley-oop.
That was crazy.
Yeah.
We were up six with a minute left, then we were up five with a minute left, and we blew both leads.
I was right when my son's teachers were trying to talk about a significant milestone.
What was it?
I don't fucking know.
I didn't listen.
This game was on.
Come on.
Such a good game.
All right.
Are we still doing that?
I didn't listen because he's three and a half, so pre-K parent-teacher.
Big day for the Yak. TJ wins. TJ winsK parent-teacher conference. Big day for the Yak.
TJ wins.
TJ wins.
Parent-teacher conference goes good.
Brandon wins.
Sass.
The Paul won yesterday.
Paul.
Say the word madness.
He's about to go find some rings.
KB got a bomb-ass sandwich.
Bomb-ass.
Dank-ass.
Nick's dying.
Nick's dying. Roan, your socks look sick. Bomb-ass. Dank-ass. Nick's dying. Nick's dying.
Roan, your socks look sick.
They didn't lose any pets today, so pretty fired up.
Good yak, yeah.
Pretty exciting.
You're on a little bit of a hot streak.
Two days in a row, baby.
Heat check.
What if we just did 12 hours?
You like that out?
Today?
Drive to Boston.
Boston?
You're going to Boston this weekend?
Oh, he isn't.
Oh, you are.
Yeah, for the streams.
Oh, God damn.
You want to go around?
I am going to Boston.
I'm going to Boston for some other shit.
I didn't put two and two together.
That's where the streams are.
I've been inviting you.
I thought they were in New York.
I thought that they were in New York.
Mine's been in different places.
Yeah, I told you. If you want to stop by the stream. I thought that they were in New York. Mine's been in different places. Yeah, I told you,
if you want to stop
by the stream.
I thought that they
were tomorrow in
New York.
Oh, Friday, Saturday.
Come on by.
Come kick it with
the boys.
If you need an hour
break.
True, true.
Just pop on over.
Who's going to be
up there?
Me, Hank, Jerry,
Ev, Dave, Elio,
Whitney.
Oh, hell yes.
The fucking heavy hitters.
You think there's going to be a Kirk stop by?
The heavy hitters.
I've heard Dana Beers possibly.
Oh, a little man on the street from Dana Beers?
Dana Beers.
The best.
Sass, how's that signature coming?
Look at Chris Johns.
Wrong.
Hands.
Here we go?
Ten signatures.
I just want to hold this moment for a second.
This was just a great yak.
I'm glad we got to experience this together.
It was fun.
I just want to hold it.
Let's just embrace it.
If I had lost in terrible fashion.
Oh, it would have been so much better.
So much better for everyone.
The views, everything.
Everyone like the stream, please.
Everybody would have been happy. I stopped saying that. Please thumbs up the stream it helps us i think right tj
yes big time we're gonna by the way we're gonna we're gonna get close to a push for another
milestone soon 125 yeah oh yeah we're missing been like a one year yeah we're like 116 i think
she hit 125 during 500 go double double milestone. Oh, shit.
We're basically Mr. Fucking Beast, bro.
Would you have celebrated if Florida had won?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But, no, yes.
Yeah, no, you would have.
I would have, too.
My life.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, well.
Not 12 hours?
We're not doing 12 hours right now?
Okay.
I mean, listen.
I just want to hold you.
Look, the boys in the locker room right now, they're still celebrating.
We're not talking about Alabama yet.
All right.
I'm ready to be Alabama.
All right, now we can move on.
Now we can turn the page.
We'll see everyone on Monday.
No yak tomorrow.
We'll be streaming, so tune into the stream.
We'll be streaming all day.
I think Pick Central's at 11, right?
No, Pick Central's at 10.
10, so yeah. So we're not doing any counter. I'd be Zo. I think Pick Central is at 11, right? No, Pick Central is at 10. 10.
So, yeah.
So, we're not doing any counter.
I'd be Zooming the old Pick Central tomorrow.
No counter programming to the stream tomorrow.
And then we'll see everyone on Monday.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. Hooray!