The Yak - Mintzy's Old College Pictures Left Us Speechless | The Yak 4-24-24
Episode Date: April 24, 2024RIP Ralphy BoyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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I was waiting for him.
It's Ash Wednesday.
Welcome to the Yak.
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We're collecting Blutmans.
We have three.
We all know Liam. New intern Luke Blutmans. We have three. We all know Liam.
New intern Luke Blutman.
Welcome.
Welcome, Luke.
Not Luke-y.
Wait, is that serious?
What?
He's an intern now?
He's an anus guy.
Yeah.
Let's go.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, he's our anus guy.
And then we have Ralph.
Ralphie Bull.
You guys are taking this lightly.
That's your pop-up.
No, he's Gramps.
Please.
I don't...
Our family's very weird
and everything.
No, no, no, no.
I'm a weird
guy as well.
This is as weird as it gets.
Can we zoom in a little bit more?
Oh, we opened it.
Oh, I put him out to host.
Oh, yeah, perfect.
Alex Cruz is in office.
We're going to have him move the urn to sit down.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, can you move the mic closer?
Thanks, Danny.
He should shoot a three with that thing.
Did you read it?
There's some things.
Your grandpa was a big hockey fan?
Yes.
So here he is.
He's on the Stanley Cup.
Zoom in a little bit more, TJ, if you can.
Can't?
Holy moly.
Okay, it says Aaron Blutman.
Yes.
Always in our hearts.
Beloved husband, father, BRG, and grandfather.
So he was a blue raspberry guy and anus fan before
grandfather
yeah
we couldn't put it last
he put grandfather last
you guys came
anus came before you guys
he was a fan
he was a fan
he was in the discord
he was in the discord
he hates Rudy there's a weird energy in here He was a fan. He was in the Discord. He was in the Discord, yeah.
He hates Rudy.
There's a weird energy in here.
No, there's not.
No?
Gramps is cool.
You guys are the most comfy.
Again, this is a weird family.
This is the weirdest thing in the family.
All said.
Mr. Marky went overboard with this one one he did have a little leeway but i think it's all um out of mourning yeah yeah this is a coping mechanism everybody grieves in different ways
and sometimes you send your dad's ashes to uh a youtube or yeah a podcast rumble show yeah a
rumble show yeah this is a true one of one yeah this do you
have another grandpa uh died okay okay is he buried or cremated okay this should just turn
into the movie parasite where we get like every i think that is happening yeah i think that is
happening how many more are there um well you got uncle kenny you got marky of course you got
cousin alex grandma yeah grandma grandma's kicking it yeah well uh grandma what did she think of this
yeah wait a minute what did grandma think of this wait yeah wait no this wife yes yeah there's a
why didn't she get out said no yo she's gonna outlive us all she's
she's immortal how old is she she's younger um 86 maybe okay but she's been through the ringer
and she survived like she's she beat covid like five times in one month okay and and she didn't
want she didn't want her husband oh it was tougher and then yeah it turns
out um she apparently thinks i kind of i kind of want to pick it up i do i mean yeah you can
raise the cup mook you were on the final birthday i don't think i do you were that is true on the
what final birthday card to gramps what i have a have a picture. It was signed Liam and Moog.
I had to sign Liam's birthday card, and he said, sign it Liam and Moog, please.
Okay, so.
You guys are.
I texted to you, Nick.
A unique bunch.
No.
We'll take care of them.
So, yeah, Grandma said no, then uh we had a zoom um because my
grandpa's for you know grew not grew up but he's he spent a lot of time in montreal so we couldn't
get everyone there it's a lot of people in montreal so we did a zoom and uh our grandma gets on and
starts speaking and she says um yeah you know it's really nice all the grandchildren are taking
a piece of his ashes. She has no clue.
It's just the anus.
She thought all four grandchildren were splitting it.
I assume evenly, she assumed.
No, it's to the anus studio.
All ashes are going to anus.
Now, have you heard from your cousins then?
Yeah, they didn't want, they said no.
So they're like, go ahead.
Yeah, they said, I think they said, said please or if they sent grandma this clip yes yeah um let's spin a wheel and see who has to
drink a high noon out of it i guess yes no yes no i'll fucking do it i'm kidding dude no we have to
there's has to be some decorum now Now, you guys turned out pretty great.
So I'm guessing Gramps is a pretty cool guy.
Gramps rocks.
Do you have any favorite, like, if I had to tell a story that summed him up, this was Gramps?
Oh, yeah.
There's many.
Oh, cool.
One time.
I can't find the birthday card.
You want to go?
Driving.
I'm good.
Come on.
He wants to be picked up.
Get a picture with him.
It's a Stanley Cup title.
He was an honorary Buckeye.
Yeah.
He did support Ohio State.
He supported Ohio State.
That's all we would ever want.
He probably watched you sit on the bed. I just want to pose one question to the room.
What the fuck is going on right now?
Grandpa's with us.
Gramps is here.
Dude, Ralphie thinks you get it, dude.
Come on.
He's worn Ohio State shirts before.
What do you want me to do with this thing?
Just hold them.
Just bring them a little bit.
You also always dress up for these big events.
No Ash Wednesday.
And you didn't today.
So that offends the entire Blutman family today's not a
holiday it's a day of mourning what's that and he didn't dress up look at him could have wore a red
is he in here uh no not yet oh wait what it's just empty cup yeah I honestly that's that's my fault
I forgot to tell you guys but I think it worked out. Oh, is he not in there? He's in the process of being cremated.
Spike that thing.
Apparently.
Oh.
Two to three weeks, I guess.
I didn't know it was on back order.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
But he's going to go in there.
He will, yes.
Okay.
He will be shipped in.
But wait, whose job is it to put him in?
I think Mook.
Mook is pretty.
He had it in his will, Mook.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll do it. Mook said he's going to do so many things all right so why can't i mean me and ralph i feel like we have a connection i
thought he was in there already i did too i was he'd like i feel a lot oh you were throwing the
box at people yesterday telling them it's ashes i just had a kind of laugh to myself you got to
open it up so foolish yeah i don't know how up and prove it. I don't know how.
I can assure you.
Empty.
I don't know how to open an urn.
Oh, wait.
There we go.
Uh-oh.
I want to ask you.
I know.
I know.
What if it is?
If I get covered in Aaron, I'm going to be pissed the fuck off.
That's Ralphie Boy.
Hey, he was a prankster, so it wouldn't put me past it.
No, Aaron.
So Ralphie Boy's story? Yeah. so that wouldn't put me past no aaron um um so ralphie ralphie boy story yeah just yeah give us one and then uh one good one that really sums him up so he was a limo driver and um hell yeah
at one point in his life and he was very good but one time he was driving myself my cousin
liam and our grandma back from lunch.
Would he drive you around in the limo?
No, no, no.
Just his regular car.
And he drove in the wrong lane.
And we're like screaming in the back.
We're facing traffic.
He's like, why is everyone honking at me?
This is ridiculous.
Do they not know how to get on the right side of the road?
And we're all freaking out.
This is a driver, professionally.
In the wrong lane. In the wrong lane.
In the wrong lane.
Almost ended us all.
Is that how he passed?
No.
Oh, okay.
He was a good driver.
That's what made it odd.
So many road stories.
Kept you on your toes.
See, this is a good send-off.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, we still,
the job's not done, apparently.
Yeah.
We've got to fill that thing up with coffee
yeah I guess
well Blutman's thank you guys
we will keep him in a place of honor Luke welcome
yes thank you
I think we'll have Alex Caruso hop in here
shortly I kind of want to do
a spy cam
where one of us has to go and just like
toss the urn to somebody in the office
see how they react as long as they don't drop it well there's nothing in there where one of us has to go and just like toss the urn to somebody in the office.
See how they react.
Yeah.
As long as they don't drop it.
Well, there's nothing in there.
Don't want to dent the cup.
Okay, yeah, you're right.
They won't drop it.
Titus, you want to do it?
To just toss it around.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh.
No.
Just be like, hey, this is the Blutman's grandfather's ashes.
We were going to put it in.
I'm like, I, I'm, I am seven to 10 steps behind this entire situation.
And I'm just some things you don't get.
Yeah.
I just don't get it.
Yeah.
Ask the sales people if we can get it sponsored.
Oh yeah.
Who would NHL could sponsor it.
Maybe a bank you earn. Oh oh you know what i mean pretty good
nancy pelosi stock tracker is using us as an ad right now i know actually have you seen that no
talked about it one time now it's like a sponsored thing on instagram and twitter
wow my bad no no no they got one it was literally a free ad, yeah. Yeah, it was a free ad. Sorry.
Danny.
Yes.
One of your Chicago cohorts, Dante.
Can we talk about what's going on with him?
Bonk.
From what I saw, he managed to get a date with Paige Brannick after KFC and Feidelberg called him out for having the horniest tweet ever,
which was him replying to a tweet of hers at three in the morning what was
the tweet she was promoting her only fans page which i think is just like her giving golf tips
and stuff and in bikinis of course and dante replied with a gif saying okay i caved at 3 a.m
oh and then they were making fun of him and then a couple replies later, he got a date out of it.
Somehow, someway.
With Paige.
With Paige Sporanek.
And she's going to come.
The date is she's coming here to the golf simulator.
And they're going to do a round of golf together, right? Oh, yeah.
That's probably, if I could do anything with her, it would probably be that.
Her tips and tricks are good.
Yeah.
She's got good tips.
I'll say that.
I do like her tips.
How many tips have you learned from her uh there are two in particular
two of her tips yeah i like more than the rest hey that's dante's girlfriend man you can't
thank you thank you blots yes thank you double the yeah so dante double his brother
dante 3 a.m replied 3 a.m. replied.
3 a.m. replied, okay, IK.
Feidelberg, shit, chat on him.
Using your iPhone flashlight to look at your credit card numbers,
3 a.m. to enter.
I mean, I'll say that I get it.
And that gif is perfect.
That's the Sandlot.
Squints.
Squints Polidorus.
I mean, it worked for him, but man, that is the risk reward.
Well, I think it's kind of self-deprecating.
I don't know.
It's kind of funny to me.
Knowing Dante, though, he's probably trying to sell it as what?
Like, I really need golf tips.
Yeah.
Like, actually.
But what did Paige end up saying?
She was the one who said, it's a date well no no no she was the one who said when she found out that kfc and them were ripping on him for being horny
um yeah i can 100 say that was not the thirstiest message from a barstool employee that has been
sent to me don't let them get you down next month of only pages on me who do we think who's on it
that let's let's do a whodunit here whodunit please
don't expose me please it was danny on the basketball court let's see with uh with the dm
za that za was one of my first thoughts she's too expensive all right but no but are you a dm-er
ah nah nah main page only no pay per view Glennie but Glennie
I don't see him I can see him being in the DMs
but not thirsty in the DMs I think he knows better
yeah he's just hungry
does Glennie book his own show does he handle that
oh I don't know is he like reaching out to all the girls
saying like I think for the most part
I think he probably gets to like expense
only fan subscriptions he does
I think this whole thing is a scheme to do cause I think if the most part. He probably gets to expense OnlyFans subscriptions. He does. I think this whole thing is a scheme to do that.
Because I think with his show, he can slide into DMs,
and then if they aren't receptive to it or whatever,
he can just do the ha-ha, just trying to get you on the show.
Yeah, it's a business transaction.
I was beating off to your picture, and I feel like you perfectly understand.
You made me come.
I'd love to interview you.
He's got that out, which I think would embolden me if I was him.
I'd be like, I'm just going to shoot all these shots.
But I can't see him being thirsty.
Like, you know?
Okay, so I love Francis.
No way.
Not currently.
This could be a DM sent years ago.
And people were saying Francis because of his past DMs with the models that came in.
But Francis is a guy that learns his lesson.
Yes, but I'm just saying.
I just don't see.
Yeah, I don't see.
I could see Francis sliding in the DMs, but I don't see Francis being like, holy fucking shit, your tits.
Which I think, reading her tweet, it feels like someone did that.
The irrational confidence that this person would have.
So who's somebody who is damn near delusional?
Who's close to the maroon flag?
That's what I'm thinking.
That's what I'm thinking, Conrad.
No way.
Maybe I should DM Paige right now and ask her who it was.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
I think I bet you it was White Sox Dave.
I'm trying to think.
Dave Portnoy or White Sox Dave? Which feels more likely? White Sox Dave was White Sox Dave Dave Portnoy or White Sox Dave Which feels more likely
White Sox Dave
So I'm sure she's gotten DM's from
Everybody we work with
But she's saying there's been thirstier
So it has to be thirstier than
A gif of squints
And saying fine I caved
Done
Period space I caved done period space
I caved
doing it publicly is thirstier than
just a casual DM
so this has to be a depraved DM
which is why I don't think it would be Francis
I don't think Francis is
Mr. Blutman would you care to chime in
this is an actual shooting of the shot
I think
there was some length to this DM
there was some real here this DM. There was some real...
No, I think I'm... Here's what I'm
thinking. Dick pic?
Abs pic.
Mirror pic.
Shirtless mirror pic.
Nikki smokes. Maybe Nikki smokes.
Yeah.
Should we get him down? I'm picturing
ha-ha in the DM. I'm picturing a lot of, like,
you're so fucking hot, ha-ha-ha. That's what I'm picturing Mar in the dm i'm picturing a lot of like you're so fucking hot
yeah that's what i'm picturing maroon five guy energy or like they said they call her baby or
something who or the the emoji with the tongue out winking that's thirsty i don't i don't know
what you would say we got any lesbians? We might be looking in the wrong spots.
You're right.
It's not me.
I was gonna,
are you gay?
Not me, not Hermione.
Probably a little bit.
Let's be real.
I don't think
we have any lesbians.
You don't think
Mincy sent that picture
of himself?
Can we bring that up, TJ?
Yeah.
Sent that to her.
I just looked
and laughed.
Holy shit.
Yeah, like Mincy's DMing that to Paige and saying, please.
You seen this?
Is his tie on sideways?
That is the widest tie.
It looks like a Gryffindor dropout.
Peter Gryffindor.
Yeah. door dropout peter griffin door yeah people were desperate to like find other people that were in his class and one of the tweets was
like imagine being like getting hazed in a basement and you're all relying on ben mintz
to recite the like the frat creed correctly look at that has he dyed his hair throughout the years i just he looks 12 he does that's
it's such a perfect older picture because it looks i i said this earlier it looks like enough
like him that you're like yeah that's obviously mince but it also doesn't at all look like him
at the same time yeah augustus gloop it's casting for augustus gloop a stunt double they used him when he went that's what got stuck in the tube was that good i got stuck in there oh with his history he couldn't do he
couldn't do chocolate face though no no oh my god good point good point yeah that i just looked at
that and laughed and megan tweeted that off perfectly just nothing else that photo how did
she find that have we asked that yet oh is she in a frat house that's the real question we're
bearing the lead smokes smokes no no no no no yeah yeah uh Paige Sporanic rocket have you ever
dm'd her no I saw that shit with Dante right yeah yeah no I would I don't dm like super super famous girls
I just think that's a waste of time but do you do you do send thirsty dms no I don't really dm
girls no no how do you meet them I just go out oh you're you're yeah like I don't do hinge or
any of that bullshit Danny is it you dude I think it is Danny it might be I did have to
when I was an intern here i randomly had to
interview her at a barstool classic because no one else was around and we needed an instagram story
ad but no that was my chance and it never happened and it's like if someone is like twitter dms
should not be used sexually you know oh it was a twitter dm i don't know i was just i feel like i
have a really good guess on who it is but i'm'm just not going to out them. White Sox Dave?
No, but like almost in
the same ballpark.
So you might as well say
it, Chief. No, no.
I do believe it starts with the C
though.
I don't like that.
Yeah. Interesting.
That actually checks out. Chris Clemmer?
No.
See?
I literally, even if you get it, I will not tell you if you got it just because I can't.
But I think Kate knows who I'm thinking of.
I know who you're thinking of for sure.
Yeah.
Good idea.
Rhymes with?
I don't know it.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know. Let's stick with don't know. I don't know.
We'll stick with Clemmer.
He doesn't know Rhymes.
I like Clemmer.
Sending her New York City facts late at night.
Was it Gaz?
I think Gaz is just friends with her.
Could be Gaz.
Gaz probably has her phone number.
Yeah.
Is it not you?
Me?
Yeah.
No.
Heavens no.
Like a couple years ago.
No.
I think you're lying.
I don't have.
No.
Foreplay guys?
Riggs.
Wait a minute.
One of those guys are definitely in there.
It was definitely more than just around the golf.
You know Trent, that hornball.
Trent is horny and depraved.
Maybe Riggs?
I feel like she should just come out and say it and just let us know
I'm sure there's at least five
I just want to see the name and then like the first sentence of the DM
what are you thinking
OMG with a bunch of G's
I think if she blocked out who it was
and sent the DM
we'd probably all know like right away
we'd probably all be able to look at each other and say who it was. I have this new series
called Rat Race.
We should
definitely do a video. I'm in my second act of life.
Yeah, there'll be dead giveaways.
I kind of hope
it's Kyle.
That would be amazing.
Yeah, Kyle comes back from Wiesley.
Does KB have a Twitter?
Oh, yeah. I feel like i've never seen him use it that's how he got this job he's like the best tweeter ever really yeah yeah does he just not tweet
anymore no all he does is dm page that's all he has twitter is the dm page yeah that's crazy
fuck i really i don't know if i'm gonna be able to rest until i come into i know that barstool
employees watching this right now doing the Jordan
Peel sweating meme.
If it's you,
text us.
Yeah, come on. We won't say anything.
It'll be easier this way for everyone.
Is Caruso out there?
Um,
I don't see him.
Yeah, you guys got a
light room today.
Where's everyone at?
No Walker?
TJ, can you do like that Faceify thing where you give them like stubble and can you make
them real hot?
I want the guy that says this is what you look like if you were black or Chinese.
Yes.
Oh, please.
Yes.
Yeah.
Make them both.
Can AI do that? Can you ask AI? Just keep that. Can you just keep please. Yes. Make them both. Can AI do that?
Can you ask AI?
Just keep that.
Can you just keep that in the lower third?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was that modified in any way?
That one in particular?
Yeah.
Garrett upscaled it.
Oh, no.
Okay.
We need to hang that in this office like the Mona Lisa.
He looks like he's got a shit so bad.
Oh, he's holding in a fat one.
Imagine the guy.
That GPA isn't touching one.
No.
No.
I would have loved to be the guy that got to haze Mincy.
That would probably have been so much fun.
He's unhazing.
Yeah, what do you think his pledge name was?
All we've been doing since he's been working here is hazing him.
I want to watch him haze someone else.
Yeah.
I want to watch him.
I think that's just a conversation.
He follows him around the whole frat house.
You walk into a room and Mincy just has a paddle in his hand.
Like, what a visual.
Yeah, someone flying back to New Orleans this week.
How is he flying that?
Doesn't use the paddle once, just tells you about his whole week.
He went to Ole Miss, right?
He's not one of those guys that just...
For like nine years.
What? Did he graduate?
Let's get him in here.
There's no way.
No, let's get him.
I do want to know what his pledge name was.
What would your best guess be?
Nah.
Nah, I'm not going to.
Okay, just put yourself in okay i'm good um brandon thank you tj i just need that look at look at this dream blunt rotation Ralphie boy Ralphie Brandon How many
Brandon
Yeah
You said it
You said it
Yeah
Just Brandon
And then
Yeah
I don't know
I don't know what's going on
He texted me at 5am
Woke up very dizzy and vomiting
Yeah
He's dying before our very eyes
Yeah
He has had trouble getting up from his chair
And like just walking
Yeah
Which is Not great Something's going on Not sustainable before our very eyes. Yeah. He has had trouble getting up from his chair and like just walking. Yeah.
Which is.
It's not great.
Something's going on. Not sustainable.
I wouldn't say.
It's kind of suspicious on the day
that we're trying to investigate
who DM paid for it.
It was interesting.
Oh, yeah.
Do you think.
Would Brandon have an interest in like Busty Blonzo?
I don't know if that's his type.
Yeah.
I don't know if.
No, I doubt it.
You know Brandon better than we do.
Yeah.
He goes more blonde, I feel like, like Slytherin.
No, no.
Brandon likes flat chest brunette.
Yeah.
FCBs.
No, he's never hit on me.
This picture of Mincy really is like the Mona Lisa.
Anywhere you look, it's just there.
I can't look away.
He's coming in right now.
We really do need to get that thing printed out and framed.
I want the time where the eyeballs follow you across the room.
If that's on a t-shirt, no contacts.
Mincy.
Yes.
Come here, big boy.
Did we find out where Megan got the picture from?
No.
No.
Here, just move over, Mr. Blutman.
Yeah.
Yeah, nice.
Like a little angel.
Mincy.
How we doing?
Look at you, man.
I know.
You kind of look the same.
What frat was this?
I was an ATO at Ole Miss.
Okay.
And this is 20 years ago.
And were you hazed?
No, we got, no, basically we got a little,
we were on probation so we didn't have to do together.
Did you ever haze anything?
Wait, TJ, can you kind of like make it
transparent
yeah
no I just I couldn't be mean to
Pete I'm not very good at being mean yeah right
but look at
if I would have gone
you gotta stay very still, Mince.
Holy shit.
Yep, it's him.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's scary.
Holy shit.
You look a lot better now.
I think so.
Yeah.
I think I'm aging pretty damn well.
Yeah.
You are.
I mean, I'm almost 41.
I think I'm looking good.
I think I look about 35 right now. But what was going on in the life of Mincey there? Is this freshman? That was G. I think that'm aging pretty damn well. Yeah. You are. I mean, I'm almost 41. I think I'm looking good. I think I look about 35 right now.
But what was going on in the life of Mincy there?
Is this freshman?
That was junior.
I think that was junior.
I'm thinking that was junior year.
So you were 20?
20, 21.
I think that was that year.
You look 12.
Yeah, you look 15 in that picture.
Yeah, I didn't hit puberty until I was like 15 or 16.
Really?
I was a pretty light believer, I was a pretty, a late believer,
I would say.
Where'd you go for your haircut?
That's a good question.
I have no idea.
Actually,
I was probably,
I still use the same haircut.
Lady,
shout out Jennifer in Oxford.
I've been going to her for like 20 years.
That's a Jennifer cut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look at that strap.
It's a steady hand.
Jennifer's gotten better.
Look at that strapping down.
Yeah,
I just started putting product in my hair at 40.
Oh,
shaky Jen. At 40. Did you that strapping down. Yeah, I just started putting product in my hair at 40. Oh, shaky Jen.
At 40.
Did you have a pledge name?
No, I had to do the truffle shuffle one time.
I remember that was really cool.
Yeah, that's a boy that does it.
Yeah, I remember I had to do that at a house cleanup on a Sunday morning.
But I think that was the only hazing memory I really have.
It wasn't too bad.
Were you pounding beers?
Were you Chris Farley-esque or John Belushi-esque?
I had a big time.
My biggest Belushi year, I would say my, so like I had it together my freshman year and
made like a 3-3, but then fall of my sophomore year, I moved into what was called the Valley,
which was like the basement of the frat house.
And I mean, it was, it was a freaking free-for-all down there, man.
I mean, it was like be just every night raging, just beer cans everywhere.
You'd have like stale
beer all over the floors and stuff and i might have made a 1.2 that's okay yeah i thought you
were sub one in this picture yeah i uh i almost almost got pulled out of old miss after uh that
semester but how long were you at old miss well so i came in with elon manning and i graduated
with chad kelly no so I was there for like, so basically
what happened, I was
Dr. Mintz? Yeah, I was in there. You were in the same
recruiting class as Eli? He was actually
his first year, he's two years older
than me, but it was his first year starting in fall of
2001. Oh, okay. He started as his third
year. And Kelly was what, like 2012?
That's not the fall of 2001. 2015.
You went to college for 14 years? No.
Basically what happened was when i found
poker in like 0405 the academic career took a vaccine especially when i started doing really
well at it and i was making a lot of money uh you know when you're young you you don't see the big
picture very easily and so i was there like in school like 01 to 05 and then like in 06 07 08 i was like taking three or six hours
a semester and just playing poker full-time and then uh i realized i wasn't going anywhere in
school and so i moved to nola in fall of i moved nolan 09 and then uh in 2014 i went back for a
year and finished my finance how does that work do you just email them like yo i want to come back
to school or yeah they were cool they were today they're all about that though and it's not good for colleges to have people flunking out and
drop oh yeah so they were super encouraging about it i graduated with a 2.0000 on the nose
i did the bare minimum uh i got to find it so i graduated i graduated i was like 31 okay what was
your first job out of school out of uh the well out of college uh well i got for getting your
degree uh i got sports radio job in shreveport okay so you never really did finance no yeah Out of school? Out of college. After getting your degree.
I got a sports radio job in Shreveport.
Okay, so you never really did finance?
No.
You went to school for finance?
Yeah.
My dad was a financial consultant.
It's ironic, and it's the true Barstool vein of I took no journalism classes,
and now I'm in media.
Yeah.
Senior college, best four years of your life.
Yeah.
That senior year, I got dragged out.
It was funny when I like look back on my Ole Miss experience,
it was three, like most people have like one big college experience.
I had three.
Like I had like the first one where you're in the fraternity and live in the fraternity house for two years.
And then I just ran around with my friends that were like three years
younger than me doing poker.
And then I came back when I was like 30, 31.
So it was like three different eras.
Were you staying in the dorms when you were 30 and 31?
No, I actually lived in this house like a block from the square in oxford which is the big restaurant bar scene and uh like i always say it was like van wilder minus the women
so wait you were with a bunch of like younger college kids well yeah well so well no one of
my wait van wilder minus her lemon is just jerking off a dog. I'm joking.
But, no, so one of my best friends who, shout out to Elliot,
is the number two guy at City Grocery, a real famous restaurant and bar in Mississippi.
He went back two to finish.
And in 2014, you know, it's like House of the Rising Sun and NOLA.
You know, it's been the ruin of many a poor boy.
And, God, I know him well.
I had fired through a huge poker roll and, you know, a's like House of the Rising Sun and NOLA. You know, it's been the ruin of many a poor boy. And God, I know I'm one. I was – I had fired through a huge poker roll.
And, you know, a lot of questionable decisions were being made at that point
in my life.
And I knew I needed to get out of there and change it up.
And my buddy called.
And my buddy called me and was just like, hey.
He was like, hey, I got this house.
If you just get up here, we'll figure it out.
And he was back finishing school too. And Nick looks hotter get up here we'll figure it out and he was back
finishing school too nick looks hot big tennessee you look great i do look like big t um were you
going for the mugshot look do mince voice oh okay i beat you to it
now when you were doing poker in the early days in new orleans
were you like in a shady back bar scene at all like was there no i would never like playing in
the shady games because there's always stories of people getting cheated and robbed yeah i would
i was really good at online poker during the online heyday uh like i got to like top 200
in the world in tournament poker online i mean i was really that was good what was the biggest expense with your winnings what did you spend the money on i live like i was living
like vince and honorage like i would just like a lot of references to shows no but i would like
minus the women yeah but i just i would this was an entourage memory if someone could correct
aquaman he was the most famous hollywood star that was the
that was the premise of well i meant like i just was like he was fucking porn stars well i wasn't
doing that oh so i wasn't doing so wait in what way were you i mean i just would like i lived so
far above my means like i ran up a six figure i had a sick i ran up a six figure poker roll and
thought i was a millionaire uh yeah because when you you don't, like, have any sense of it.
And, like, I was partying hard in New Orleans.
I would, like, my favorite thing, and I still do this.
Like, y'all see how I do the Mitzi Tour stuff where I feel like I'm everywhere at once.
Yeah.
Like, my favorite thing to do is get a calendar out and be like, okay, where are, like, two or three things together happening at once?
And so what I used to always do was like i would figure
out where poker tournaments were near where panic was touring and so i'd go on all these trips would
be poker trips and just go follow panic uh and i do all that but then i was partying hard in
new orleans too and so i was like traveling my expenses were high and uh just kind of i had a
six-figure poker roll get get down to about 2k over a 12 or 13 month span and yep and I
realized uh then that uh you know it wasn't going the right way and so I went back to school and
then so backtracking you lived in a house of like college age kids no so I lived with my buddy that
was going back too but the thing is we were like the party spot late night I mean we had late night
parties all the time and uh for college kids to come back to? Oh, yeah. We were throwing down.
Legend.
Like my buddy, I had a good friend that was a bartender at this bar in the square called Roundtable.
And it was a huge outdoor party spot.
And I was friends with all the bartenders.
And so I'd just like go in there with like not a dollar in my wallet when I was broke and just get bombed.
So just doing poker tournaments and falling around in panic at the disco.
Well, I'd spread panic, man. Not panic at the disco.
That's a never-ending problem.
But, uh, but, no.
Never-ending.
No, no, but, like,
2011.
How could we?
No, 2011, though, I had a run
in poker. I got 75th in the World Series
main for 90K, and then I got third
in a 1500 in Jacksonville for 53K, and then I got 75th in the World Series main for 90K, and then I got third in a 1500 in Jacksonville for 53K,
and then I got 12th in an Oklahoma tournament for like 35K,
like back to back to back.
And, yeah, I went to like 32 panic shows that year.
I mean, I really – I'm telling you all this.
So how did you spend your fortune?
I just went on concerts.
Well, yeah, as I always say, like, I mean, you know,
if I ever got any trouble, I'll just send them some concert tickets.
That's what I got.
You're a single guy.
Yeah.
TJ, can you pull up Paige?
Do you know who Paige is?
During this time when you were living like Vince from Entourage, you hadn't been DMing any celebrity golfers.
I did not.
That was, I saw that whole thing.
The way Dante played it was pretty damn funny, though.
I mean, you know, he ended up.
He landed a date.
Yeah.
Damn. Fucking rock it fucking rocket beautiful beautiful woman this is now gonna be the thirsty thing any barstool
employees have done just pulling up page break on this let's put Mincy on yeah
somebody respond to her just like was it? Put Mincy's face on page.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what Rick said.
I just said that.
No, I was backing him up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Titus, fuck yeah.
Good shit, Titus.
I love that idea.
I was repeating it.
Or put two of Mincy's faces on.
But she only has one head.
Well.
She's got, yeah.
Yeah, if y'all think I'm like wild now, y'all should have seen me in my 20s i heard
what was like in his prime and wilder from entourage but with no women
no but i mean you hung out with an indian guy
and what you're what would vince be without the women i don't know i had a hell of a no
baby bro i had a hell of a no vince without women would be the gayest guy on the planet hanging out with the boys i'll say the uh the old miss nola lineage uh there's
still a lot of them down there just i mean threw down at a level we had this spot uh it was above
this toy store on magazine street and it was like the post-college frat house that i mean for like
10 years it was just the total just uh living above a toy store yeah yes everybody else
used to go party at the toy store that was like the thing those are wild days legend of mincy
yeah well trying to man excited about tomorrow film fest oh yeah that's right yeah we have the
trailers to watch today mince you should uh you should go back to ato i do stuff with ato still
yeah yeah i mean like i go i try to go by the house once or twice a year and uh i want to go
they're always trying to get me to go to one of their parties like a football weekend so i'll
try to do that are you like the most famous ato to come out of old miss i think so yeah i think
i'm not sure yeah i think so i mean i couldn't name another one yeah why yeah probably not i mean
i don't know there's a lot of it's a good you know they're doing really well though they got a great
how's that work did you pledge a bunch of different it's a good – you know, they're doing really well, though. They've got a great – How's that work?
Did you pledge a bunch of different frats or not pledge?
I went through Rush and got in like two or three,
and that was the one I wanted to do.
Because it's like Ole Miss is like 50% out of state, actually.
And so – and ATO is one of the big out of state fraterns.
Dude.
A lot of Louisiana and Georgia people in there.
We should go through all the total frat move old house tours in like 2012, see Mincy.
Oh, yeah.
He's just hopping out of nowhere.
That would be amazing.
You're in the back.
What's up, fellas?
Yeah, it was big.
I lived in the frat house two years.
It was big.
Very, very fun time.
20 years later, though.
Were you a frat guy?
No, I wasn't.
We were on mostly sports.
We were trying to figure out who at this company was in a frat and who wasn't. and i also trying to we were on uh mostly sports we were trying to figure out who
at this company was in a frat and who wasn't because yeah no because i made the observation
that barstool sports gets tagged as like a bunch of frat bros i know it's like eddie tate and carl
were all a lot of us were not yeah no i wasn't a frat guy and plus i bounced around like any
schools i was not but eddie was like president of his and everything. Oh, Eddie was?
Wow.
I can see Eddie.
I can see that.
I can see that.
The way he carries himself, I can see that.
I would have never guessed that.
I was not even.
No, no.
I didn't know.
It makes sense, though.
He does Smoke Show Chicago.
Does he?
Just at the door denying.
Denying with it.
Yeah.
I was a GDI.
Goddamn independent.
Hell yes.
I got a type. I think Fleming was a beta.
I think.
But that's all I know.
Did you go to college, Nicky?
Me?
Yeah.
Where'd you go?
West Virginia.
They have frats there?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Big frat scene, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you join one?
No.
What was your college experience like?
Pretty boring.
How? I don't know that I believe that. I didn't really do too much you burned some couches yeah yeah that's like a west
virginia thing they burn couches after they win that's what they do for fun there is burn couches
yeah that's buy a new couch i used to break furniture that shit was fun break furniture
sure burn couches on fire that's the next level level. The couches are on the street when they win. We used to go to WVU from IUP all the time because you could get in all the bars under
age.
Yeah.
So easily.
It's a fun party school.
I used to have neighbors in college that would get like so coked out and at five in the morning
they'd just throw all their shit, kitchen table, chairs out of their living room.
Do that to this day.
And then they wake up and be like, fuck.
That Penn State Altoona.
The temple.
Okay.
Yeah.
Altoona went hard.
Titus, what was your experience like?
Because you technically were a basketball player.
Like, did you get the...
They smoked.
Smoked.
What are you talking about?
They smoked.
Tactically.
I didn't really think about it that way until you figured it out.
But yeah, I guess technically I was.
You definitely got all the perks, right?
Like, they see you in the jumpsuit.
Like, the girls flock to you.
Yeah, but my basketball team was the frat.
I went to one frat party in my four years at Ohio State.
I was probably a little different.
I actually didn't party that much because I lived in an absolute fear
of getting kicked off the team, and I felt like I wasn't good enough.
If something goes south at a party, I'm the fall guy for sure yeah for sure i'm the fall guy so
i don't really get too crazy um just locked myself in the gym man worked on my game for four years
feidelberg was in a fight feidelberg was in the uh that strongest he went to florida state yeah
he was the one that caleb did the video on caleb Oh, that's right. Yeah, he was a Pike. A lot of my boys went to Pike.
Okay.
Like, that place is, it's a great time.
Definitely a lot of fucking crackheads out there, though.
Yeah.
I mean, they get the most bitches, though.
They get the finest girls at Florida State.
Is that so?
No, like, that's a certified fact.
The Pike?
Is that what you're saying?
Pike.
Yeah, that's the name of the fraternity, Pike.
I know so little.
I don't know anything. I know nothing about frat. I know, when you said, like, what was Mincy's frat name, I was like, is that what you're calling his name? Pike yeah that's the name that's the name of the fraternity Pike I know so little I don't know anything
I know nothing about frat
I know when you said like
what was Mincy's frat name
I was like is that a thing?
yeah I've been playing along
you do frat names?
for a pledge probably right?
you get called
yeah we do
like I said
our pledge ship was cut short though
so I didn't really have like a
you might be saying that
because you have to say it
the code
yeah
yeah
I don't remember the handshake or any of that stuff
only a couple things sure but it was those were fun days uh mince before we let you go who do
you think sent the thirsty dm to page there's a lot of funny options here who's horniest in the
could it be big cat i was thinking that i didn't want to say he's my
boss like dan i've seen i've seen his explorer page exactly that's what i'm saying and dan has
the confidence just like sup yeah like he's not trying to get with her he's just like just
thought i'd let you know dan's explore page is like it's diabolical oh my god yeah like it's
worse than mine yeah i mean it's it's like the lyrics to the Jaws theme song.
Until proven otherwise, I'm working under the assumption Dan sent the sweating with
the tongue out emoji at her.
A few of those.
That's all he said.
He just said three of those.
Just wrote, ah-oo-ga.
I got a text from Donnie Does, and he has a good assumption of who it might be.
Oh, tell him to come down.
Tell him to come in here.
Okay.
I mean, once you hear it, you're going to be like, oh.
No, I actually think it's Zaw.
I thought that was my first thought.
I really do think it's Zaw.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I'm actually, I would bet money on it that it's Zaw.
Why, after seeing her at a Barstool Classic?
Did you check the group chat?
T.J., what are we doing?
What's it?
T.J., what are we doing?
What are we doing? What are we doing, TJ?
Oh, yeah.
It was mook.
It was mook.
Yes.
Wait.
Oh, yes.
In the Yak group chat, I didn't get it.
Oh, you were removed.
Oh, you were removed.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, all right.
I'll add you back.
What did he say?
Here, I'll show you.
Just swipe.
This is good for the...
Whoa!
Did they find it?
No, it's Chinese mints.
It's Chinese mints.
I definitely won me on that one.
Chinese mints.
Chinese mints is perfect.
It's perfect. Did you see they made mints Chinese mints is perfect perfect
did you see they made
mints a
who are those people
that were just with
Tommy Smokes
from fucking
Indiana or Montana
Montana boys
they made him a
Montana boy
oh my god
you're fucking
studly mincy
you got the
Zuckerberg treatment
this thing's going
everywhere
Donnie sporting the
new t-shirt that's for sale no who's your number one look at mince you look good dude
fsu brando look at his eyes popping send that to page
sup um yeah so i was just shocked that none of you guys had mentioned
stew finer this oh like it was had to him. It had to have been him.
Yeah.
We see the things he says publicly.
Like, you can only imagine what he says in the private DMs.
This is a great point.
My only thing would be I think Stu would just openly reply.
Yeah, Stu would probably wear that.
Stu would probably screenshot what he said
and, like, quote-tweet it with it.
Yeah, I don't think he'd keep it to himself.
Yeah.
Fuck, that is a good point. Any options we should go to new york office we should just like threaten
be like for every day no one comes forward i thought that but i just don't i mean glenny i
don't think glenny has to like like that guy gets so many girls it it's ridiculous. Oh, yeah, you went out with him. Yeah, like a game changer.
Tommy Smokes, definitely up there.
Oh, yeah, he loves to DM.
No, he is a DM whore, respectfully.
What if it was just like Jake Marsh?
Oh, my God.
Just Jake Marsh was holding his cock.
Hey, pretty lady.
I want him to be filthy.
They call me Mr. Positions with the eye emoji.
Did anyone say Fasoli yet?
I'm just doing my job.
I don't know if Fasoli is.
DMs are I'm just doing my job.
Fasoli's worldview is only Barstool.
Yeah, but she's crossed over into Barstool.
A few times, yeah.
It wasn't the tits for him.
It was the fact that she like got involved with barstool
yeah i love you yeah wait meek phil oh oh that's a good one meek phil he's almost too shameless too
he'll like he would probably admit to it yeah he likes porn on twitter just yeah phil liked and i'm
just seeing wait he has his likes on public he doesn't't keep them private? TJ, are Mick Phil's likes still public?
No, I think he privated them
because of the allegations.
The allegations.
Oh, man.
Today's episode is brought to you by High Noon.
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High Noon, sun's up.
Mm-mm-mm.
Nom, nom, nom.
Mm-mm-mm. com high noon sun's up film fest today we are revealing the trailers we're doing it on this
show yeah yeah yeah we're gonna do on the show tomorrow is the nominations for like best
performance in your movie I believe so today we'll be we'll be seeing a lot of trailers, like Google maps of Brandon's hometown.
So let's watch.
Let's pull them up.
Thanks.
Jay final comes up.
What Friday?
It's the,
it's the premiere.
Yeah.
Three to six Friday.
I won't be here,
but Whoa,
shit.
I thought you were bringing two hoes.
You told me I couldn't bring two hoes.
I didn't say you couldn't bring two hoes.
You did.
You said it on the act and you laughed at me about it.
You said you couldn't find, you text me and you asked if you couldn't bring two hoes. Yes, you did. You said it on the act and you laughed at me about it. You said you couldn't find two hoes.
You text me and you ask if you couldn't find two hoes.
And you didn't even answer me.
Because I just, it was late at night.
It was like eight o'clock.
Yeah.
Give him the thumbs up.
What happened with that voice right there?
Eight o'clock.
It was eight o'clock.
I was getting a little snappy.
My boy's going through changes.
It's a shame.
I had two pengtings ready to go.
I don't know what that even means.
Fitbirds, pengtings.
Pengtings?
Peng.
Peng.
It sounds like really Chinese.
Is that Asian?
Yeah.
No, it's British.
Pet hanks?
It's British.
Pengtings?
Pengtings.
The ying peng twins.
Pengs is things, but what's pengs?
Tings.
Peng is like fit.
Why is that fit?
I don't know.
I didn't make up the lingo.
I just adopted it it Adopted it
I gotta work on my pangness
TJ what trailers do we have?
There's the one for G
That's me and Mince
What? You fucking prick
Speaking of which Nick I had a phone call with my mom
Last night to make sure she didn't watch this film
Oh okay
I gave her a full warning
I was like you're probably not gonna want to see so yeah ours is you're the
lead character uh you are playing uh ernst graftenberg german ob gyn oh god discover the
g a real person right a real person yeah here's ours by war, the world needed hope.
The world needed joy.
The world needed pleasure. Where the hell is Graftonburg?
There's our trailer.
Wow.
Beautiful.
Can I ask where they got that girl from in the middle of the film?
That's just B-roll.
Stock footage.
Yeah.
Oh, you guys use B-roll for that?
Yeah.
I found a tiny lesbian for ours.
We didn't have to interact with that okay that yeah so that's g so what she was a getty image she yes interesting i didn't know
they had that on there yeah shutter i'm gonna
we're gonna have to block getty images
watermark and all there's hoes on getty jerking off the shutter shack We're going to have to have blocked Getty images. Watermarking off.
There's hoes on Getty?
Jerking off to Shutter Shack.
Is this the Getty Institute?
I am a journalist for Barstool Sports.
I'm interested in your finest membership.
Some of your best pantings.
Blasting APM music in the background.
Just a royalty-free mic.
Asking people for rights to the videos
why do you need to
own it
just
royalty free
yeah you can't
bust unless you
own the rights
it's just a thing
I have it's a hang up
I love that
watermark
I like knowing
she's everywhere
a public domain
jerk off is
hilarious
wetty images
TJ what movie's next like knowing she's everywhere. A public domain jerk-off is hilarious. Weddy images.
TJ, what movie's next?
Last Gun and the
Bullet.
That's Titus.
Oh, yeah.
That's me and
Donnie.
Oh, and Donnie.
The two leads.
The two leads.
Two stars.
Starstrucker.
Shout out Pavs for
making this trailer.
I think he crushed it.
Oh, yeah.
7-5 Charlie to Central.
Be advised, we are 84 at the scene.
Confirm female DOA approximately 20 years old.
Can you have a bus respond and notify the patrol supervisor?
Can you also notify the detective squad for me?
Just another Tuesday in fucking paradise.
Claire, she was a great tenant.
I didn't see a whole lot.
Looks like a pro did this.
Chicago is no place for a parent.
Sometimes love, sometimes anger.
Always passionate.
Listen, I'm sure this is all very tough for you to hear.
Yeah, I mean, this doesn't even feel like real life.
It's him, Boyle.
It's him.
Meet me tonight at the old warehouse on Ogden Street.
I think I gotta leave.
No, I got a few more questions for this guy.
Please knock next time.
This is my last chance at survival.
Wow.
Awesome.
Wait for it.
Wait.
Parrot.
I love that though I love that
I love that parrot
Awesome
Way to be
Marvelous
I think that looks
Really fucking good
Yes it does
We had so much fun
Doing that
Yeah
We did
That looks awesome
That looks like a lot of fun
Yeah
And I think the best part
Of this was that
We all got to work
With like people
We normally wouldn't work with
Yeah
At the company
They try to like
Split everyone up So it's like no one you do a podcast with.
Right.
It was a lot of fun.
Yeah, that looks awesome.
Yeah, I thought you ripped it.
There we go.
I can't wait to see it.
There we go.
Chicago is no place for a fucking parrot.
What's next, T?
Charlie.
Charlie, that's the horror film.
Kate's team, correct?
Me and Danny.
Oh, Danny.
Yeah, uh-huh.
Also, I love on your trailer, the director
said from the twisted mind.
I made him do that.
Okay.
Here we go. Oh, fuck yeah. I think that was shit.
What?
It didn't give anything away?
Perfect suspense.
I don't think it told you anything.
That's what the trailer's for.
Yeah.
I don't think that's what it is.
Some of the best trailers, yeah. Nobody't think that's a 30 second trailers yeah i
like nobody likes a trailer that tells the whole story right i think that was a great trailer
unbiased opinion it left you wanting more yeah or less oh come on smokes smokes ours might blow
buddy yeah no i know after watching titus's i was like damn i don't think ours is as good as we
thought i never yeah that was really fucking good that donnie's in time yeah
charlie's great too uh final one right miss q miss q that would be kyle and there's also a
trailer for boy kills world at the end of this our presenting sponsor of course Elliot, I need your help.
I need money.
Why don't you just call this guy?
It can't be that bad.
I'm not calling him.
Why not?
You slimy little fuck!
Get this fuck out!
Get this fuck out!
This is what I'm going to need you to do.
Go!
Get him!
Sick. That was pressure.
That goes hard.
Ooh.
Yeah. The city.
They killed my family.
So, our mission is simple.
Make them pay for what they have done.
Toy kills world., rated R.
Fire.
That's the voice from Bob's Burgers?
Yeah.
Nice.
H. John.
How'd they get that guy?
Well, no, no, that was the trailer for Boy Kills World.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I know.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I know that one of us didn't get the Bob's Burgers, dude.
He's got a good voice.
But one of the teams did have to have a celebrity cameo.
Which team was that?
That was the most recent one, I believe.
That was Q.
That was Q.
I don't want to say who.
Ronnie Woo Woo.
We getting spray tans tomorrow?
You and I?
Yeah.
I would.
Let's do it.
I'm tired of This
Okay
Should we put it on the wheel?
I just want to do it
I'm down
I'm just down
Cause someone can come in here
Sorry I know I'm eating on the show
Someone can come in here
And they do the booth
And they can do it right here
The tent yeah
I just don't want to
I don't want to be shirtless
And my skivvies
Mook
Would like a regular tanning bed
Like fuck you up?
Like you have to go spray tan? Yes.
Okay. Just wear like SPF
90 in a tanning bed.
We're kind of the same hue.
Take a look. Mook, what happens if you go outside
for like two hours?
I just like turn
red. Start getting sick
like Brandon. It is weird that Brandon is
the one on the show known for his aversion to the sun.
Well, I just don't expose myself to it.
Yeah.
Like I went to Miami and I was wearing socks and fucking.
Yeah.
Socks.
Yeah.
Gotta wear your socks to Miami.
Wearing a scuba suit at the Wet Republic.
Full body wetsuit.
Swim cap.
Let's call Brandon.
Yeah.
Can Brandon swim? Yeah, I cap. Let's call Brandon. Yeah. Can Brandon swim?
Yeah, I bet.
Where's Brandon?
I can see him just like having never been to a pool.
Tell him Paige Sporanek said it was him and see what he says.
Yeah, yeah.
How you feeling?
I'm good.
I'm just on the couch.
What's the matter?
Paige didn't reply back.
I just had a rough morning.
Was it you that DMed Paige Sporanek?
Who?
Yeah it was you
I just moved to the big city Paige
No that wasn't
No
Okay
Okay
Alright
How's everybody doing?
We're doing alright
We're hanging in there
Changing the subject we see
Yeah change
Yeah are you going gonna be back tomorrow
Uh yeah
I'm back tomorrow
I'm good
I'm good
I'm good
Alright so that means
Titus is out tomorrow
Mmhmm
Okay cool
Alright
See ya
He's not sick at all
Is he going through menopause
I don't know
Oh he might be
I feel like he's been
Something's wrong with him
Every other week
Moody
Cranky
Losing testosterone Mmhmm Yeah D all the above Something's wrong with him every other week. Moody, cranky, losing testosterone.
Yeah.
D all the above.
I could see the D-Ev being Kareem, maybe.
Whoa.
Whoa.
I'd love that.
Sleeper pick.
It's out of left field.
But, you know, he's like, I don't know.
I could see it.
I don't want to throw him under the bus, though.
Are you saying that because he recently wrote a blog about her?
Or did he?
Did he? I don't know. No no that's just a shot in the dark who who's the most prolific page he's a horny guy blogger who has blogged her the most gotta be trent probably
malcolm smutler oh yeah who is that malcolm uh that was dante don't? Smutler. Wow, you just exposed fucking Bruce Banner.
I thought that was out of the bag.
I don't know.
It might be.
Wait, Dante was two people at once?
Mm-hmm.
Alter ego.
So the guy I see on the blog page, that's not a real person.
That's Dante.
Smutler?
Malcolm Smutler is not a real guy.
It's not. No. No. You thought Mr. smutler malcolm smutler is not a real guy it's not no no you thought mr smutler was a do you think that was i don't know i get fucked with so much i don't know what to believe
anymore uh what's up mr smutler just checking out on your last blog me and hank told uh smokes that
he could get adderall from frank fleming you went up to frank to ask for adderall and i was so
excited too like i really thought frank was about to just whip it out
Yeah
No diddy
Yeah so it's Trent by far who blogs about her the most
But I think they're kind of like
Kareem
Oh so he did recently write one about her
Oh he did?
17 hours ago
Oh wait but it's about
It's gotta be Feidelberg
How many results, how many times have we blogged her?
Oh it's a lot that's a lot
I thought it would be like 200
yeah
fights with two
Thornton it was Thornton
okay
who's that cat in New York
he does all like the little office
shows and he like brings them in
and like makes people put their hand in a box i think it might be him that cat in new york
so what did frank the tank have a 20xr for you or no no he didn't and then i what did we say he had
no that's what you said 25 milligram instant release and all i heard was IR and I flew over to him
and I said, yo, do you have any Adderall?
I just watched from afar.
And I look back and you and Hank are just sitting there fucking laughing
and I'm like, I am so stupid.
Frank snorting instant releases before a raw dog.
That's how he does it.
I need my fucking Adderall.
That's how he does it.
Well, you were like, how do you think he walks so much?
I'm like, oh, that makes so much sense.
Oh my God.
Anybody want to do the Steven Singer ad?
Oh, sorry.
Who's got a rose next to him?
Oh, I do.
What's that playing in the background?
What do you do?
Yeah, I think there's another mic on.
Che's watching a video of himself.
Che, why did I just hear your voice?
Are you laughing?
Are you watching a video of yourself, Che?
No, I'm cutting Twitter.
I just got a DM from Baby Gronk.
What's up, bro?
What?
Swear to God.
I think he did.
Why is he DMing you?
Should I just be, like, yakking?
What do I tell him?
Baby Gronk's dad probably saw you on the yak, and he's like, okay, maybe this is my dad
back in with Barstool.
Wait, is there, like, beef with Baby Gronk and Barstool?
Should we get them in here?
We could, yeah.
Well, I don't know if they're recording something.
No beef?
Is there beef?
I wouldn't know.
I know that there was.
Baby Gronk's most recent video was pretty strange.
He's going to try to risen you up, dude.
It's not a Livvy Dunn one.
TJ, do you have that?
Is it the one with the grown woman?
Yeah, most of them are.
Yeah.
I've been watching him getting shut down on TikTok.
What?
He's going to these intense camps and just getting wrecked.
Oh, but this.
Doesn't his dad offscreen just have a sword in his head
telling him what to say?
What are you doing here?
Do you think Livvy gets a bag to post this?
I don't know.
That'd be kind of weird just like posting
some 13 year old kid all over the place that was cool that was great content yeah
that probably has like a million holy shit baby gronk and livy
steven singer uh mother's day is coming up The moms in our lives put up with a lot.
Sure, some of us were angels, but others not so much.
Mincy, were you an angel?
Were you a little?
I caused a few problems.
You caused some problems?
You were a hellraiser?
I wouldn't say I was, like, too terrible.
Somewhere in between angel and hellraiser?
Yeah.
Somewhere that doesn't answer the question whatsoever.
Toast to mom for all her hard work with Stephen's brand-new 24-carat gold-dipped rose in red wine.
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entire collection of gold roses at i hate steven singer.com free shipping free personalized gift
message from you and free lifetime guarantee exclusively and only at IHateStevenSinger.com. Mother's Day coming up.
When is Mother's Day?
I think the 12th?
May 12th.
Yeah.
Word.
Sneaks up on you.
Really does.
Baby Gronk.
Oh, boy.
Wait, what's his name now?
Madden what?
That's probably his real name.
No, Madden San Miguel.
Yeah, he can't be baby forever.
I guess not.
That's true. Teenage Gronk.
Teenage Gronk. Yeah, this is
weird shit. Is that
him at Hooters up there? Yep.
That's weird. He's squatting with the girls, though.
Nah, he wasn't going. He's gonna be able to squat
350 miles an hour.
Like I said, doesn't his dad
just have a sword to his
head off screen telling him what to say and what to do?
That's weird. That's weird.
He is living every 13-year-old's dream right there.
Right, but it doesn't change the fact that he's 13.
Reverse the genders there.
And I feel like it's less cool when your dad's two feet away from you forcing it to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's some shit I would make sure my parents dropped me off and then drove away first before I did it.
Dad, you're embarrassing me.
That's what Baby Gronk says.
That's a good Baby Gronk, Con conrad i don't know what it sounds like dad you're
embarrassing me smokes are you attracted to ice spice no but she got a fat ass yeah yeah i thought
so that's what that's what i felt yeah um not attracted but she No, she's kind of bad. Okay. Like, I definitely would.
Yeah.
But I would not put her in my top 10.
No.
Not even top 15.
Conrad made out with her at minimum before.
Stop.
Before she got famous.
So for those who don't know, Nick started.
No, Kyle did.
Kyle started a fantastic lie.
That was not even a lie.
I was talking to your boys when you weren't there.
They said it was true
you guys went on anus and you said danny conrad from the chicago office this was years ago
um made out or hooked up with ice we don't know how far it went it wasn't sex
correct is all i've heard from multiple i'm not joking last week i was with somebody and an ice
spice commercial came on and she turned to me and said, not
to be weird, but like, didn't you hook up with her?
And I said, no.
And she's like, um, she's like, I don't care if you did.
And I was like, then it got to a point like where she thought I was lying.
So I was like, well, you do care.
And she was like, okay, I believe you.
But like, how do you even know her?
I was like, I don't know.
So you did it.
Um, we can go with that.
I'm not going to lie. I, lie i like i believed that i had like
heard it through the whatever and i will love to talk i don't mean this in a mean way but i was
like how like what and then i but i did never sex i didn't think it was sex but i did was like i was
like okay maybe back in the day i don't know people have told me that secret they're like
because people like don't know me they don't know people have told me that secret they're like because people like
don't know me they don't know if it's true or not i don't know it could be a wild card
our sale one of our sales people maggie went up to me like last year was like yeah so i'm taking
some clients to this big concert it's gonna be like wiz cleaver there and so and so and uh
what's that girl uh not to be weird but like the one you made out with or whatever
before she was famous maggie it's not true but i guess we'll go with that one you made out with or whatever? Before she was famous. Maggie, it's not true, but I guess we'll go with that one.
You also said it before when she really blew up.
So it made it even more believable.
Are you guys around the same age?
Or is she still like a lot younger?
Well, that was also problematic.
Before she was famous, she was probably under 18.
Yeah.
13.
How old is I Spice, TJ?
She's probably like 24. Yeah, so it was tj she's probably like 24 yeah so it was fine she's probably like
20 when we oh danny hey the default birthday she's probably 24 born on january 1st default
birthday ever yeah 2000 damn she really got robbed by a day npc she was born on y2k can't
even claim 99 lame that's that is like a starter birthday though.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I heard the same thing about
Big T and Ruby Rose.
Yeah.
I could see that.
Wasn't somebody here just shooting
their shot at Ruby Rose? Probably Jetski.
It was.
Yes, it was.
And she's with Jeruski now.
Really? Sorry, I had to find out. Who cares? it was it was yes it was and she's with uh jeruski now uh-huh yeah really who cares we only care about ice spice on this podcast i care about lava girl shout out lava
girl who's lava girl oh my god she's the finest woman i've ever seen in my entire life what what
is your idea of fine that woman okay lava girl lava lava ex-girl yeah lava or lava
lava like shark boy yeah yeah but what is she she is pressure again that's doing a really poor job
brunette and vein perfect eyes she's a bomb is she just like an only fan or what's her
yeah i think so but i've never bought've never bought it Brunette with nice eyes
Nice rack, great tattoos
You described Mincy when he was younger
Yeah, great rack
Brunette with nice eyes
Oh my god
TJ, who is she?
Zaha, do you know?
I'm looking at her right now
She's pressure, right?
She's got some moles
Nah, I'm trying to find her
If you're into that thing, I think he just loves a good face mole I love face I'm looking at her right now She's pressure right She's got some moles Nah I'm trying to find I'm trying to track her down
If you're into that thing
I think he just
Loves a good face mole
I love face
I'm a face guy
Face over tits and ass
Yeah this girl is
Pressure
Yeah we're getting
Horned up today
Spokes is just getting ready
She's so fit bro
It's crazy
What are these words
I don't know
I speak my own lingo tough day speaking
like drake lyrics and tiktok no so like being from south florida there's just so many cultures
that you just like absorb and you just make it into your own it's unlike anywhere else really
i mean you guys don't have that shit here you don't definitely don't have a lot of cultures that
i don't think you guys have that in like indiana and south florida is like the melting pot it's like yeah yeah that's what it's known for it's like mini new york yeah
so it's like i get a little this like a little that a little that a little that and then i just
put it all together drake says that same exact thing yeah that's a great quote you just said
what did drake say well when everyone asks like oh why in this song are you like rapping in a
british accent like why do you use all this song are you, like, rapping in a British accent?
Like, why do you use all this Jamaican patois slang?
And he's like, because I'm from Toronto.
And Toronto is like a melting pot.
And there's like a little Caribbean.
Well, I just think it's because Drake has a huge dick.
And he could just sling it everywhere.
And he's big in every country.
Long dick.
He's, like, making music for each.
For all the countries.
Yeah.
Smoke, did you get a bible quote tattoo with a typo
asshole oh i i don't i don't think i could ever tell nikki another story in private no no listen
yeah so i'll tell you no that's fine i'll tell you the story i'll tell you the story
so i got my first tattoo it was my mom's birthday because she always told me if i ever got a tattoo
she'd kill me so i'm like all right well she's not gonna kill me if i get her birthday once you get one you want to get another one so i didn't know what i wanted
so i went with bible verse just like everyone else does and i got it says even though i walked
through the darkest valley you will feel no evil for you are with me and it's supposed to be psalms
well this guy put p slam this dude has p slam on his pA-M. And I took a picture of it, and I'm looking at it.
I'm like, something just doesn't look right here.
So I looked up the Bible verse, and I saw that they spelled it wrong.
I went back in the next day, and I had the guy draw a dark valley over P-Slam so you can't see it.
And yeah, that's pretty much it.
You should have kept P-Slam.
You should have kept P-Slam.
And then showed a girl when you're about to do this.
TJ, I sent you an incriminating photo.
Of?
Brandon's boat.
Okay.
That's a bird on it.
That boat couldn't fit two birds.
Does it not have a motor?
Oh, it's got that little single one.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what the hillbillies use. That's an incriminating
photo. We're not fitting
ten of us.
You can't even fit four people. You trying to get the whole
yak on that? Is this a recent picture, by the way?
He just sent that to me. Well, his dock,
I mean, didn't he just get that installed?
That's looking a little... Wait, that dock sucks. Very small.
Very small. Needs to be repainted.
Yeah, it's already... Could be a gigantic
bird. That would have to be an albatross.
That bird maybe comes up to one of our waists.
So how are that many of us going to fit on?
That's a fit bird.
There you go.
Three beach chairs.
That thing's going to.
So Brandon is inviting the yak to a cookout in May.
And he said he's taking us all out on the boat.
There's 10 of us.
Gonna have to make a couple trips.
You are not fitting on that boat.
We're all fitting on that boat.
Moose is gonna have to get on your shoulders.
Still, it doesn't...
The weight, I don't...
The weight's gonna sink the boat.
We're gonna drown.
I really want it to happen, though.
Yeah.
I badly want to sink the boat.
I want to sink the boat.
That would be a great place for me to die.
Yeah, like, if that boat sinks, like, who's the one Yak member that just does not make it out of the lake?
Well, it has to.
Actually, no, Zog is actually a great swimmer.
He used to, like, win.
Didn't you used to, like, win gold medals in, like, the Zimbabwe, like?
Yeah, butterfly.
Really?
Shut the fuck up, Zog. Yeah, back in my day. All right, so now it's back to mook. Yeah, butterfly. Really? Shut the fuck up, Zah.
Yeah, back in my day.
All right, so now it's back to mook.
What a legend.
Mook 9.
Fuck.
All right.
And you're going to have to be lathered in sunscreen.
Well, if the boat goes down, Brandon has to drown with it.
That's like maritime law.
Yep.
I'm not leaving my fucking boat.
The captain has to go down with the ship.
Who's going to be first to say I'm the captain now?
Oh, boy.
Nicky.
That's Nick. No. Yeah, that's not. I could see K'm the captain now? Oh boy. Nicky. That's Nick.
No.
Yeah.
That's not.
I could see KB saying it.
What?
Yeah.
No, in an ironic way.
Yeah, KB would say it hilariously.
I'm the captain now.
Something like that.
Guys, look.
Sass shows up just to spam it.
Oh yeah.
He spawns.
Over and over and over.
He just comes running from the hillside.
I'm the captain baby surprise
entrance oh man what else one other i want to bring this up smokes his big weekend ahead because
yeah he doesn't realize what he's getting into but him eddie and dana beers are doing a pirate
pirate water trip to the famous mullet toss at the floor of Bama.
What's the mullet toss?
Oh, a southern, just, I mean, one of the great southern events of the year.
It's at the floor of Bama, which is the bar on the Florida-Alabama line, obviously,
because it's like half Florida, half Alabama.
But it's in the Redneck Riviera, like Orange Beach, Gulf Shores, whatever everybody calls it.
But the mullet toss is just, I'm tailgating already for this content.
Really?
I mean, this thing is nuts.
Have you been?
I went once, like way, way back.
How long ago?
I mean, it was like back about as old as that.
That guy was there?
But it's –
Did that guy tear it up?
That guy did not tear it up.
He had a good time, but yeah.
Okay.
He had a good time.
But I think – I just can't even begin to tell you what y'all are getting into i can't wait to see it
that's the type of guy though that at an sec school you'll see with the most beautiful girls
yes that's that that that's how it works yep he's not saying no i mean clean up in college mincy
i didn't do great college did okay but. But nothing to brag about, for sure.
Okay.
Mincy, you're hosting the Barstool Comedy Show May 16th.
I'm pumped about that.
Wow.
It's going to be really fun.
You starting to prepare?
Yeah, I've got some stuff I'm working on.
Yeah?
If you guys want to go.
Yeah, there you are.
Yeah, May 16th, Laugh Factory.
Can't wait.
Who all?
So, it's you, Chris.
Nick. Oh, yeah Factory. Can't wait. Who all, so it's you, Chris. Nick.
Oh, yeah.
I can't wait.
I was thinking, you know, as the host, you're helping it flow.
So I might tell like a couple of funny like short, short stories.
Yeah.
But I've been kind of getting into the comedy stuff a little bit more lately,
watching stand-up and stuff.
And yeah.
Donnie did it once, Crushed.
Yeah.
I thought Brandon did it.
Brandon did a good job.
Brandon did good too. Great. Everybody was good. Yeah, Thursday, May 16th. Titus, Kate. and yeah donnie did it once crushed yeah i thought brandon did a really good job great
everybody was good yeah thursday may 16th tightest kate kate you've taken comedy you've done it stand
up a couple times is that the biggest hot dog in the world or you just pulled the waiter on her
talk to her while she's eating oh yeah i'm sorry about that earmuffs everybody. I finally got my period back, you guys. What?
Breaking.
I'm just howling everything today.
I'm very excited.
Congrats.
Thank you.
I don't know how it works.
I don't have tubes anymore.
We have a new king of the south team.
Sorry, Kate.
Sorry.
Great story, Kate.
Fuck your period.
Shut the fuck up.
My bad.
That was very rude.
No, no, no.
Who's the new king of this app?
No, no.
It's just with my picture of the frat.
Oh, okay.
Is that on the Barstool?
It's on the store.
It's on the store.
Beautiful.
I'll be getting that right now.
Yeah, I'm going to text it to you.
All right.
I'd love to wear that to like a nice club.
You should do a live promo for the shirt.
Store at BarstoolSports.com.
Swipe up.
Is it really in the store already?
Yeah, I'm sending it to tj right now
there he is oh i think uh never mind let me bite my tongue uh mook will you be inviting the female
comedian to the premieres on friday uh who has a cameo in our movie yes okay cool yeah i'm gonna
she can come if she would like yep yep i was, I was a little concerned because we needed a girl
for a sex scene
because it was like
an all-male cast.
Yeah.
And Mook, I guess,
is the only one
who knows chicks.
Hey.
Attaboy, Mook.
But when she came,
like, she does look like
she could be 13 years old.
But she is.
Yeah.
What?
She is 24 or 25,
but she's like,
she's like four foot nine.
Yeah.
And you dirty bastard.
I think, I don't want to give away our plot,
but somebody has a love connection to her.
Yeah.
And we were worried that when the sex scene came,
it would look like we were pedophiles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, we filmed it very tastefully.
Very tastefully.
You won't even know.
Just put a disclaimer on screen. But she was 100% down. We we just needed her to like we didn't need her to do much but
she walked in and she was like i'll do anything except for stick something in my ass yep yeah
she was a rider yeah and then we we left her in the room by herself who had the camera up
we we just like planted a camera had it on a tripod. And it was just a shot of her back.
So she got undressed.
And I think the direction was, we need you to mimic having sex.
And she had to moan.
And she's also a lesbian.
So she was like, I haven't done this before.
Yeah.
She was like, I've never sexed a guy.
I'm usually a quiet lover when I have sex with females.
And then she just starts letting it rip.
12 of us.
And you guys heard it?
Yeah.
12 of us were in the living room while she was just.
And this was in your apartment?
My apartment.
My wife was asleep in the other room.
And there's this girl just moaning at the top of her lungs.
Yeah, all of us were leaning closer to the door.
And white boy Rick was walking away.
Yeah, yeah.
We would have hated it.
Ew. We could have hated it.
Ew.
We could do a sex scene with just the guys.
But she was a warrior, so yeah, she might be here Friday.
I'll do anything besides stick something in my ass.
Fuck, we're going to have to rethink this whole thing.
Rumble up the script.
It's ruined. I was thinking about who I could have gotten, and I was thinking of stand-ups in Chicago.
There was this one girl I was thinking of but I've only talked to her like twice
and I didn't want the third time to be like
hey, you down for a sex scene?
Like that's not
so Claire was our
Claire Sunby, she's very funny
There we go
There we go
Today's episode is brought to you by michigan
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Thanks, Michigan.
Yeah, we're just a Michigan show now.
Dude, we got sponsored. Michigan's awesome.
Michigan's awesome.
We got sponsored by Pepsi, Verizon, and Michigan.
Good stuff.
The UP.
We've done two trips up there.
One in winter, one in summer.
Summer, significantly better
in the UP than the winter.
Yes. Although, I mean, the winter's nice too.
We got to go dog sledding.
That was cool. I flipped the upper peninsula
of Michigan, the top part.
Okay. Is that where all the lakes are?
I'd say they're below the penitent.
They're the great lakes.
More on the side.
The reason the peninsula exists is because of the lakes.
Smokes told Kyle.
I was like, dude, that flight to Hawaii is really long.
And Smokes was like, dude, cheat code.
Just go down to Florida and take a cruise to Hawaii.
I was like, dude, where do you think Hawaii is?
Cheat code. He thought it was in where Cuba is. to Florida and take a cruise to Hawaii. I was like, dude, where do you think Hawaii is? Chico.
He thought it was in where
Cuba is.
Did you actually just not
know where it was? It was a bad
moment. I got Devin.
He thought it was a cheat code to take a cruise
to Florida. Through the Panama Canal.
He got Hawaii and Puerto Rico mixed up.
Haiti? Were you thinking of Haiti?
Yeah, it's all like the same area.
What's that big party they have every summer in the Upper Peninsula?
The UP Slam.
Oh, yeah, it was the UP Slam.
And, Smokes, you loved that, right?
Yeah, I loved that.
I need to see myself out.
That is a weird misspelling.
I feel like there's plenty of other ways to misspell Psalms, usually.
Yeah, no, you got the first two letters wrong no no the third it was p-s-l-a-m that's how you spelled it how do you think psalm is spelled it's p-s-a-l-m yeah you got the first two letters right
the third one the third one whatever asshole that's all right how long would a boat from hawaii to florida take i mean
it would be a lit years man years i don't think it would take a year no it would not take a year
if you're rowing but like a cruise you just clip on through the canal right yeah suez or but
apparently if you want to go through the canal, there's usually kind of like a long wait.
Multiple day wait.
Like sometimes you could be waiting for two weeks
just because like only a certain amount of boats can cross a day
and that's where like so much trade goes through.
Oh.
It's a tight squeeze too.
Yeah.
Yeah, not wide.
Very narrow.
Where's the Strait of Gibraltar?
What?
That's...
What is that?
Come on, smokes.
You can do this.
Take a guess.
Say it again.
I have no idea.
The Strait of Gibraltar.
Gibraltar?
Yeah.
How the fuck am I supposed
to know what that is?
Isn't that what separates
Africa from Europe?
Yep.
Oh.
Yeah.
Africa from Europe,
so that's like Morocco and...
Yeah.
Morocco and Spain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The exit of the Mediterranean.
I would love to hit up Gibraltar. That's a tight squeeze.
That kind of looks like a good fit.
Does that get a crazy current?
It has to, right?
It has to.
There used to be like a crazy German dude back in the day.
Yeah, there was.
Yeah.
Not the one you're probably thinking of, but he had an idea.
Imagine learning about Hitler and being like, dude, he's crazy.
That's a crazy
german dude uh yeah he wanted to build a dam across the strait of gibraltar and then just
use all that like hydro electricity to then power like all of europe and africa that's crazy
that had been like a good thing yeah that's like a better idea than what the other crazy
german guy wanted to do yeah i don't know if it'd work did you guys
talk about that guy in great britain that has the biggest dick i didn't want to bring it up
australian we talked about him yesterday okay yeah no no that was no this is another guy oh jesus
another huge cock come on kate kate got a bookmark. TJ, pull that up.
I don't really want to.
I don't want to see it.
No, we don't have to see it.
TJ, let's go back to the page.
Who do you think DMed Paige?
We don't need to be giving females unrealistic expectations here.
Well, it's kind of impossible to say.
Don't HR me for this.
It's in the group chat.
I don't want it. It's wrapped up like a hoagie it's got a hoagie cock no it's not yes in the first one oh i'm sorry
what is this screenshot it's from his website he's got a press email. Yes, he does. Holy shit. He's making the rounds in the news right now.
Yeah, it's crazy.
He did an interview.
It's a codpiece.
Press at biggestpenisbook.com.
It's fake.
It's fake.
No, it's medical.
People have confirmed it.
He's making the rounds in the news because he got kicked out of a yoga class or something.
He's just in Downward Dog and his meat's just touching the floor.
That's just sad.
Two in a row is a
lot but it was two days in a row that i've had these brought to my attention from whom
pat
really yeah you see this baby pat
that's crazy just anyways casual combos that there's two gay pats? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Two different pats each day.
Okay.
Oh, two different pats?
Yeah.
And then you have an aunt pat.
An aunt peg.
Peg.
Okay.
Party peg.
That's also gay.
Big time.
Well, pegging.
Wait.
Yeah.
No, she's not.
Shout out to Uncle Mike.
Just the word peg.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I got it.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway.
All right.
So that was big cock news.
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Yes.
I got to give a shout out to the Pugs.
We won our first softball game last night.
Oh, ooh.
15 to 9.
Max hit two homers.
TJ played a mean first base.
Hank pitched lights out.
Malsek's fast.
That boy can run.
Can't really hit, but he can run.
Is that a really high score?
Short.
Mook made a shockingly athletic play.
A full layout
mid-air diving catch.
I wouldn't have been that shocked.
It was awesome.
My jaw was on the floor.
That felt good.
I needed that.
But I'm in the most physical pain I've been in in, like, years.
Everything hurts.
Who'd you play?
Like, what was the makeup of this team?
Good question.
What kind of jobs do you think they had?
A couple finance guys.
I was going to say,
it's got to be
majority finance bros.
Couple service industry people.
It was a mixed bag.
It was a mixed bag for sure,
but 1-0 on the season.
You guys got jerseys
and everything?
Oh, yeah.
Sponsored?
Wearing the Pug 99s.
Oh.
Clean.
Must be nice.
Oh, wow.
You didn't get the invite
to be on the team? No, I don't get invited anywhere. Oh, no. you didn't get the invite to be on the team?
No, I don't get invited anywhere.
Oh, no.
It's all right.
I'm used to it.
Because you seem like you'd be a major.
Titus took out, like, four people last night, too, to a Cubs game.
Took out one?
No, it was like four.
I took Tate.
And?
That's it.
No Cody?
No.
Is that what you're referring to?
Yeah.
Are you aware Wrigley Field is a public venue? A lot of people can buy. There are a lot of people. No Cody? No. Is that what you're referring to? Yeah. Are you aware of Wrigley Field as a public venue?
A lot of people can buy.
There are a lot of people.
I'm just saying.
Do you think that I bought tickets for the entire fucking stadium?
The evidence.
The evidence was just like.
Cody went to the game with his girlfriend or whoever.
Your story.
You tell it.
You're saying you want to be invited to prom.
No, no, no, no, no.
Because someone else was at the game, you think I took them?
It just looked like you guys were together.
That's all.
No.
Are you doing the 16-inch league?
Yeah, I would.
Okay.
I would.
Are we doing it?
Dan talked about it today.
Dan.
If you're on a softball team with me, you can call him Dan.
Yeah.
Cat.
Formal cat.
Dan.
Who else is on your guys' team?
The Pugs.
Me, Ebo. Ebo hit a home run yesterday. It was a shot. I feel like E your guys' team, the Pugs? Me, Ebo.
Ebo hit a home run yesterday.
It was a shot.
I feel like Ebo could break.
Inside the park?
Yeah, there's no fence.
Yeah.
It was like a – it was gone.
So you could just call them all inside the park home runs.
Everything's inside the park.
They don't have a fence?
No.
It was Ebo.
I mean, was it actually a home run or was it like, you know,
literally like tossing it all over the field?
It was jacked.
It was a shot.
Yeah, the left fielder was making sandcastles.
Yeah.
It's funny because Max is a lefty,
and the next field next to us is so close,
he is going to kill someone this year.
He's going to take out a 33-year-old woman.
From all the suppressed rage from Philadelphia.
Simon Birch.
We don't have fences on any of the fields.
We're still stuck on that.
No netting, nothing?
No.
Just a free-for-all?
A lot of the parks are like that.
It's like four home at all.
Yeah, four touching.
Are you guys in a co-ed league?
No.
So Ebo?
Ebo, Memes, Shane from PMT, Pug is our coach.
You have two non-Barstool employees on the team, right?
Yes.
Ouch.
I don't give a fuck anymore.
Honestly, it's fuck them.
I hope they lose every game.
Start your own team.
They won't.
Who's the catcher?
Malsek.
Go figure.
Would you rather have not gotten invited at all than be like Batboy or assistant manager?
Nah, fuck them.
That's all I have to say.
Conrad, did you get invited?
No, but that's... Did you get invited? Nah, fuck him. That's all I have to say. Conrad, did you get invited? No, but that's...
I didn't...
Did you get invited?
No.
Jack McCarthy's on the team.
Vincy, did you get invited?
I did not.
Damn.
Wonton?
Yeah, a lot of us didn't get invited.
Did you get invited, Titus?
No.
Tom Lay?
Hey, did they ask you?
No.
Zah?
So it seems like it's kind of reasonable that a lot of us didn't.
I'm fine.
Yeah.
They're all more.
Start a rival team.
Nah.
Nah.
I'll come up with something else.
Show up and heckle or just Steve Bartman them.
Maybe I'll just be like the pro heckler, like from Happy Gilmore.
Yeah.
That just chirps Adam Sandler.
You should volunteer to be ump.
Oh, my God.
I'd love that.
Yeah.
Just show up in a blue polo and I'll even question you.
I used to ump.
Oh, experience.
But I'd never really watched baseball or knew what I was doing.
And I would just make the worst calls ever.
Were you doing it for money?
Yeah, I was like, you got 15 bucks per game.
I was like 14, 15 years old.
Yeah.
I had only played baseball like once in my life.
And I would just make the most terrible calls ever.
And the parents would just fucking freak out on me.
I think I did it three times, and I never did it again.
Hey, a nice 45 bucks.
Yeah, well, nice 45 bucks.
Good math, Dan.
Thanks.
Another Dan.
Dan.
Another Dan, another dollar.
You're Dan from Barstool, aren't you?
Barstool, Dan.
That Dan Barstool.
Ice Spice Dan.
You're Ice Spice Dan.
Is that what she called you?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I like calling Dave Portnoy Red Sox Dave.
Yeah. Or Dave number two. Oh, God. David. Is that what she called you? I like calling Dave Portnoy Red Sox Dave.
Or Dave number two.
David.
Cool Dave.
Oh man.
Any more sponsors?
TJ, you want to pull up the wheel?
Tomorrow we will be showing we should have the full crew back
besides Kyle, so I guess not full crew.
And we'll be showing best performances for the film Fest. uh caruso here i think he was just playing golf he said he'd hop
in if he yeah there he is yeah he's chilling bulls off season that's so wild he's just like
pulling up to the hq to hit at the sim it's legendary is he trying to do the gauntlet you
think he already did and he almost hurt himself hurt himself. I've never done the yak gauntlet.
What?
Never.
You want to do it right now?
No.
If you do it good enough time, maybe you get to sub in the next game.
No, I don't even want to play for them.
They're dead to me.
We could use, like, a water boy.
No.
We could use my nuts.
If you want to do the gauntlet, though.
I want to know in advance.
I've got to wear my shoes.
Got Crocs on.
All right.
Do it tomorrow.
All right.
Make them sorry that they didn't choose you for their team.
Yeah.
Be athletic.
There's baseball in this.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Are you good at baseball?
You've only played once.
I'm an athlete.
He's a Michael Jordan meme right now.
He took that personally.
You want to play that way?
Don't play that way.
Say like top three athlete in this office
probably right now we're getting crazy oh boy like name name three better oh titus yes i'll
give you titus che of course che no chance che's better than me no like what do you mean like
kyle played a collegiate sport i'll give Alright I'll put him up there
I don't know
Marty Mush played college baseball
Kyle's the best athlete in this office
By far
Not even fucking close
I don't know what was his combine score
Arian's here today
He doesn't count he's a pro football player
Division 1 wrestler.
Top three, top five.
I could do that.
That speaks for how wrestling stands.
It's sad, but yeah, it's true.
It's so crazy.
Let's see.
Who else?
Jake Marsh is a decent athlete.
Harry Bogle played college sports.
Harry did.
College lacrosse player, right?
Harry Bogle played dodgeball. D2 field hockey. Chuck Harry Bogle played college sports. Harry did college lacrosse player, right? Ebo played dodgeball.
D2 field hockey.
Chuck Nassau played college baseball.
Oh, yeah, he did.
Lance is pretty athletic.
Baseball players aren't athletic.
Chuck looks athletic, though.
Some of them are.
Some of them are very athletic.
But you could be a pitcher and not be athletic.
You could be a first baseman and not be athletic.
We're going to have Tico Texas quote tweeting this clip. All you baseball fans. You're not even athletic. You'd be a first baseman. Not be athletic. We're going to have Tico Texas quote tweeting this clip.
All you baseball fans.
You ain't even athletic.
What does athletic mean, though?
I don't know.
You're still athletic.
If you're a pitcher in the MLB, check out Titus.
Pick five sports.
King of the Hill.
A little bit.
See who wins.
I mean, probably the two best basketball players in the world are sloppy, fat, white guys.
I wouldn't call them fat.
As compared to the rest of the league, yeah.
I don't know if those are the top two players in the league.
Okay, let's end the show.
TJ, spin the wheel.
I've got to get out of here.
I've got to get out of this.
Jokic?
Oh, Zaw.
We have a Zaw wheel that we got to do eventually.
Oh, yeah.
Zah, did you hear about that?
What's the Zah wheel?
It landed on Zah.
It got name wheel on Zah.
And what is Zah's name wheel?
I don't know.
I don't know if I showed you guys this video.
I had an idea.
There's a couple of nurses on TikTok that had this contest.
They run a syringe into a balloon.
You did show us that.
You want to try that?
Yeah, dude.
I'm from West Virginia.
That's our sport.
Off the top of my dome, that's what I can think of.
I think it's something good.
We'll get some syringes in here.
All right, we'll do it.
I got a couple.
All right, that's the act.
Thank you.
Peace. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the act. hey hey
happy birthday Mary from Chicago
and
Nick Jones
alright love you bye