The Yak - Mook is Going to Australia with a New Mate | The Yak 10-26-23

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. We're live? Maybe. I don't know. Yeah, I guess we're live. It's the act. Are we live?
Starting point is 00:00:39 I think we're live. There's no way of knowing. We're live, Shaq. He's on his hands and knees. Which one? Well, I guess we can't see us. You guys didn't hear the intro music? We heard the intro music.
Starting point is 00:00:51 We can't see shit because nothing in this fucking office works right. But also, the intro music was running on loop yesterday before the show as well, so I don't know what's real anymore. Roback. Roback. Q-Zips. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. The best Q-Zips. The best polos.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Joggers. I'm wearing the joggers right now. I like their caps, their ball caps. No, you don't. Yuppa-doo. Yeah, you do? Uh-huh. You say yuppa-doo?
Starting point is 00:01:12 Yep. He said yuppa-doo. All right, Roback, go to R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Good deal. Or 20% off all performers, hoodies, crewnecks, joggers, and more with code YAK. with code yak check out rowback all right boys big cat will be in shortly he's got something to do he'll be in like five minutes momentarily mook you're going to perth i guess so yeah i'm down i'm ready i'm
Starting point is 00:01:39 ready for perth uh you know you treat producers like garbage, like dog shit. Not really necessarily true. Like stinky dog shit. We get ours vacations. You're sending him... Tropical yet white. On 60 hours worth of flights to spend 22 hours in a place. It is statistically, measurably, the most trip you can do.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Yep. So it's quite the trip. Unless you're an astronaut, which we tried. This was for MOOC Appreciation Day. Yeah, MAD. You got other gifts as well? I did.
Starting point is 00:02:18 I got Perth merch and apparel. Okay. Which is, like, we got you two Perth hoodies, a Perth t-shirt. What else? Oh, there's more Perth stuff in the mail. I was hoping it would have arrived.
Starting point is 00:02:31 So you're going to have to use it all in Perth. You're going to have to change five times a day. I don't even need to bring extra clothes. They're going to think you're a terrorist if you're going on a 33-hour flight. Yeah. It is exactly 11,000 miles from this spot right here. Oy. That's it.
Starting point is 00:02:48 That was my Australian. How many flights is it? Three. Seven. It's here to L.A. L.A. L.A. to Melbourne. Melbourne.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Melbourne. Melbourne. I think it's Melbourne. Melbourne. Melbourne. You don't pronounce the R. Melbourne. Melbourne.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Well, I'd say Perth. Perth. Perth. Perth. Melbourne. Melbourne. You don't pronounce the R. Melbourne. Melbourne. Well, I'd say Perth. Perth. Perth. Perth. Melbourne and Perth. Kate's about to give path. Perth. What up?
Starting point is 00:03:13 My headphones are cutting out. Yeah, I can't hear myself. I can hear myself. Had to do a parent-teacher conference. How'd it go? Uh-oh. Because of mischief? Or because of...
Starting point is 00:03:22 No, it was parent-teacher conference day. Oh, okay. Yeah. My son'steacher conference day. Oh, okay. My son's been lying to me. Oh, no. Yeah, that'll happen. He says he poops at school. No poops at school. Is he school-aged?
Starting point is 00:03:37 He's pre-K. What did they even do at that? It was literally like, awesome in his colors, awesome in his shapes, has to work on his letters. Cool. Awesome. It was like like, awesome in his colors, awesome in his shapes, has to work on his letters. Cool. Awesome. Two for three.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Yeah, two for three. It was like eight minutes long. Yeah. Yeah. Where's Will? What's Will doing? We don't know. Will is fraternizing.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Will? Yeah. Will he sees here? Will. Do you live in a barn? Yeah, just leave the door open when you walk into a room. Is that what you do? Oh, for two. Yeah, I'm good now. What's up, everyone room. Is that what you do? 0 for 2.
Starting point is 00:04:07 What's up, everyone? Great show last night, Mook. It was awesome. Last great show, Dan and Mook. I didn't do anything. You did a good job hosting. Actually, Will, just leave it open. Don't fall for that shit. Don't fall for that shit. The crowds were good.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Everybody was. Hosting came naturally. Did you kill it or bomb it? Don't fall for that shit. So the crowds were good? Everybody was. Crowd loved it. Hosting came naturally. Did you guys get killed or bombed? I killed Mook Bomb. Mook Bomb. Whoa. Mook was very funny.
Starting point is 00:04:37 That was the first time I'd seen Mook do stand-up. Yeah, I thought you were nervous, right? No, you actually said that to me as you were walking up. You're like, you nervous? I was like, for what? For me? What if I went out there and I just... Oh, yeah. No, you actually said that to me as you were walking up. You're like, you nervous. I was like, for what? For me? What if, what if I went out there? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:47 No, you said he, Mook said to me before, he's like, I'm bomb proof. Well, okay. Okay,
Starting point is 00:04:52 perfect. That was supposed to be between me and you. But yeah, it was very fun. The tickets are already on sale for the next one. November 30th. Nick is hosting. Same place.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Same place. I love that. Yeah. It's a great venue. It's good to feature some local comedians and mook. I'm testing out some twisted-ass material at those shows, too. Twisted? Yeah, they might come with pitchforks.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Sounds good. The first show Big Cat went up there, and he was like, last time I did a comedy show was because I needed money, but this time it's because this is for Mook. Mook needs it. And he kept saying, this is for Mook. You don't... All you do is look gift horses straight in the mouth.
Starting point is 00:05:33 What? Yeah. What does that mean? It means you don't appreciate the gift. I do appreciate it. I'm going to Perth. Yeah, so explain this to us for everyone. By the way, Will, hey.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Hey. Hey, how you guys doing? Ultimate vibes guy, Will's here. I almost accidentally, almost just gave a spoiler, but. Yeah. Oh. Will and I are also going to try to shoot some sketches. Oh.
Starting point is 00:05:55 I'm telling you, I think you're going to like them. I got two, but I don't want to be in them. The ones that you've said, I think they need to be after something gets established. You can't just come out of the gate hot. I don't know. Trying to set the tone with one of those. Well, I would just do what he says, Will. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:06:12 No, it's good to see you guys, man. Kyle, hey. You too. Look, I'm bigger. Oh, and we have more space. I'm getting smaller too. And we have more space. Yeah, we do have a big space. It's not a big box in the middle. That's not how I meant that. Wow. That's a lot more space. I'm getting smaller, too. And we have more space. Yeah, we do have a big space.
Starting point is 00:06:25 And there's not a big box in the middle. That's not how I meant that. Wow. That's a lot of space, though. Interesting. Look at all that room. That's interesting. Look at all this space, and the rug is so soft.
Starting point is 00:06:38 How often are you in town, Will? Every week. Oh, okay. We got time. Yeah, we got time. Last time you guys went at it, you went viral on r slash fight porn. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, okay. We got time. Yeah, we got time. Last time you guys went at it, you went viral on r slash fight porn. Is that true? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Oh, yeah. Yeah, wrestler versus NFL player. Damn. Yeah. There's no crazy... It's pretty even. Yeah. No one should be shamed in any way.
Starting point is 00:07:01 The guy said... Will's not saying that. Except the loser. I think the loser should be the d1 wrestler for now we are now at a point where i should be shamed if i lose correct correct because you've gained gained some math and will has gotten weaker predicting victory i don't know if he's not that he knows he's a wrestler him knowing that it went on a wrestler or football player message board kills him inside because he knows that he has to put on for the wrestling culture. And knowing him looking back at the tape,
Starting point is 00:07:31 he knows next time he's not just going to give me a leg. He's not going to take me lightly. He's actually going to try to take me down. So if I beat him again, his life is over. Yeah, I'm ruined. Did Will actually win, though, or did he just get one takedown? I don't think we would be able to do more than a couple minutes. Do a full go.
Starting point is 00:07:49 I was going to say, I definitely couldn't. We couldn't do that. Have you ever tested your ability on a wrestling mat? I've not. No, I've not. Do you want to try, Bucko? I mean, it would be quick. It would be a quick test.
Starting point is 00:08:00 What about you, Slim Jim? You and Kate should go at it right now. Is it bad to have long limbs? Is that tougher? No one is his dimensions. I don't even know the pose. I couldn't even
Starting point is 00:08:15 hit it. Shoot him. Shoot him. Get up there, Kyle. Get up there, Kyle. Get up there, Kyle. It's like a video game character. Get up there, Kyle. Get up there, Kyle. Get up there, Kyle. He looks like a video game character. Oh, whoa!
Starting point is 00:08:28 Get up there, Kyle. Just give him a little show. Shut up, Dan. I like how he's got like a video game character. I want my horse to ride. Ride horse? I'm going to practice in private for like three years. I'm coming here one day.
Starting point is 00:08:42 I have a question. Yes. Pertaining to mental toughness. What do you think the harder sport is, wrestling or golf? Wrestling. I mean, I'm going to say wrestling by far, but mental toughness? I agree. I agree 1,000%.
Starting point is 00:08:57 It was me versus everybody else at the bus and shop. And then to literally, I had to point at guys and be like, you wouldn't last a second on the wrestling mat. Everybody's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The things he had to do just to get on a wrestling, to cut weight and all that shit is... I don't know. Golf might be.
Starting point is 00:09:11 I could see how it's agonizingly... But the physical aspect... Mentally, it was harder than physically, I think. I feel like wrestling is just endless hazing. I think golf also... Wrestling is... Wrestling mental toughness... Yeah. Might be one. Yeah, I think golf also. Wrestling is. Wrestling mental toughness. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Might be one. Yeah, I think it is one. I think golf is. I don't know. Mental toughness gets talked about because golfers are pussies. What about. What about box why? Everyone says like, oh, no, having to go four days straight. Same.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Like, go back to hole. Like, the time you have to think about your shot in between. It's a one man game. This and that. I'm like, I get that. But that's more of like mental fortitude than mental toughness yeah like what if tiger woods actually isn't that mentally tough he just was playing against other golfers but what the worst wrestler is actually more mentally tough than tiger woods right what
Starting point is 00:09:57 fucks you up with golf though is you don't always know why you're shanking it like oh i do i stink yeah but the guy yeah golf is probably the most frustrating. Yeah. You can be one of the golfers winning every single match. You're playing out of your mind, and then suddenly you lose it, and you're just kind of not entirely sure what the difference is between this week and last week. And that would be torture.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Yeah. It would be torture to be like – Yeah, but then we're talking – To me, that's more of like you work on your mental fortitude type stuff. When you're cutting weight, you're dehydrated. Is that physical or mental toughness? That's both. Tell me the difference in mental fortitude and mental toughness.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Mental fortitude is like not letting the outside noise get on the inside. So you have no mental fortitude. It's the exact same thing. No. Okay. What's mental toughness then? I think mental toughness, you canitude it's the exact same thing no okay what's mental toughness then i think mental toughness you can let the outside noise get in and then you beat it correct well you don't have you lack what's mental fortitude by the way just on record i'm saying
Starting point is 00:10:54 correct just because that sounded nice yeah what's mental fortitude then these things are damn near opposite mental fortitude is is an inability to let the outside noise come in. I think being a starting quarterback is mentally tougher than being a wrestler. That's fortitude. Yeah, so as I was thinking about it more, it's like when you get to the match at wrestling, like the haze in the bar, like whatever's going to happen is going to happen. Right, yeah. But the buildup to it, like what you have to do to get ready for a wrestling match
Starting point is 00:11:25 or an mma fight is more like challenging mentally than anything else anything else right yeah boxing too compare it i mean i can see long distance running boxing you have to be able to willingly this is running that's just throw your shoes on and yeah he's right didn't you just do two miles and like yeah it was hell but that mental toughness knowing that i've had a wrestling background i was like will if you can't run two miles you are a pussy i've never ran dude i can run i can cut 15 pounds but i can't run five miles yeah you can yeah you can yeah you can definitely run but not at a decent pace well will didn't do it at a decent pace yeah i did 10 minutes uh no uh was it 10 minutes yeah if you look at the time just because it stopped and said 11 and a half that's just because i'm stopped but two miles was
Starting point is 00:12:15 accomplished in uh like 20 minutes ish it was around 20 it was around i think until you get to 23 minutes it's around 20 so you did around 20 I think until you get to 23 minutes, it's around 20. So you did around 20. Yeah. Like I got to my driveway, got next to the garage, and I was like, oh, I need to take a photo of this. Yeah. So the people, I have some proof. A little extra seconds.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Yeah. A few extra seconds in there. Yeah. But it was tough. Like my upper back has been sore the entire week. I've felt it in my calves. It's like I truly have not ran anything over a time mile since high school when I had to. The running sucks.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Running's the worst. There's ultra marathons. That might be the toughest thing in the world. The dude who goes through the Sahara Desert. There's races there, like 60 miles. What did Oz the Mentalist run? He runs an ultra marathon, I believe. He says that he runs like 20 miles and then goes right up on set.
Starting point is 00:13:03 It's nuts. That, though, has to be a mental thing because, like, people who run like that, they can't feel comfortable unless they run like 15 miles a day. I think you have some serious skeletons in your body. A lot of them are recovering addicts. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Have you seen the Barkley Marathons, the documentary? No. You should all watch it tonight. Oh. Okay. No football? Oh, fuck. Who is it football who is it who is it bills box you had a pick for us where you going Brandon the the act just sneaks up on Brandon every single day he was just sitting diarrhea diarrhea oh no
Starting point is 00:13:46 uh Will so what's up dude nothing man just living the dream yeah fuck yeah just
Starting point is 00:13:54 putting the kid down you know being a parent getting her to watch Motiversity on the big screen okay yeah
Starting point is 00:14:02 what's Motiversity we had some like car college do what car college no Motiversity? We had some like... Car college? Do what? Car college? No, Motiversity on YouTube. What is that? It's a motivation YouTube channel.
Starting point is 00:14:13 For your daughter? You thought he said Motorversity? I don't know what the fuck. He's a three-year-old. Okay. Mechanic. Is she mentally tough? We're trying to get her there.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Okay. She's a little sassy right now and it's like,, hey, you got to be a little bit more resilient. You know who the most mentally tough athletes always were? The really stupid ones. Yeah. Because they don't know what's happening. Too dumb to know that you're bad is actually a great thing for a professional athlete. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:40 And they're the ones who have, like, crazy wins. Yeah. Right. Or just insane performances. And they'll be like, or they'll like shoot like 0 for 12. And they'll be like, I was one way from being awesome tonight. Yeah. Like those kind of guys.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Oh, did you see Holmgren get crossed up by Andre Drummond? Yeah, he did. Yeah. Bulls did a players only meeting. I saw that. Game one. Not great. But they did a players only meeting.
Starting point is 00:15:04 The coach walked in and he was like, do you want me out? And they said, yeah. Yeah. And he listened. Players only meetings always work though. So doing it, you should build the entire season
Starting point is 00:15:14 out of player only meetings. Yeah. So I think this is. They always work in basketball? You should just not have a coach. You should not have a coach. Players only meeting is a get out of jail free card. That's an automatic W.
Starting point is 00:15:23 That's a get out of jail free card with, hey, the coaches are really trying to blame this on us. Like let's rally up and do a players only meeting is a get out of jail free card. That's an automatic W. That's a get out of jail free card with, hey, the coaches are really trying to blame this on us. Let's rally up and do a players only meeting. It doesn't work in football? Not all the time, no. You can't do it. Every college basketball team that's ever done a players only meeting wins their next game.
Starting point is 00:15:37 They're undefeated. You can't do it every game because then you lose the power of it. I was going to say, now maybe the ones that publicly come out before the game happens, but there's more that happen that don't come out afterwards. That's a good point. You only hear about them after the win. And you're like, yeah, the reason we won is because this week we— Confirmation box.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Yeah, yeah. Are those meetings just like shitting on the coaches? Like, what happens? It's a lot of like, guys, we're playing like shit. And then you're like, yeah, man, we are. Like accountability. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Good point. Hey, they get interesting. Like, D. Gold, Deshaun Goldson, he's all time. He's one of my favorite players I've got to play with. But he had one one time where he didn't even get out of the chair to where, like, a player would stand up and go to the front or something like that. He'd just stay in the chair.
Starting point is 00:16:23 And he's like, fellas. He'd just do this yeah you gotta be like this that would work that would work yeah i get it i'm in yeah until where you're like sitting back you kind of like look at it, make eye contact with the co-players, like, what's happening right now? Oh, fellas. And it worked? I can't remember. Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 00:16:54 My experience, there was always like one guy that doesn't really say much, but then when he does say the one thing, it's just like, y'all some bitches, and then like walks out, you know? They're Hoosiers. Was that your role on the team? Yeah, kind of. You just sit back for like most of the meeting, and then you're like, can I just say something? Y'all some bitches.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Or you get the one guy that's like, hey, fuck all this other shit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, man. That's good. TJ, what were those transitions you were just testing? I tried clicking something. I thought I died for a second. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:17:24 I was like, are we down? I did this. I didn't something. I thought I died. Me too. I was like, are we down? I did this. I didn't know. Usually double click does it. New board. We can see Zod now on the camera. Oh! There's our guy. Zod, did you go last night?
Starting point is 00:17:41 Yeah, he was there. You were there? Yeah. To the comedy show? He sat next to me, yeah. Yeah. I can't hear him. Yeah, that was it. What are you doing? I'm trying to help him out.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Oh, no, because that one woman had some jokes about little people. I was like, oh, really? I missed a banger. Corey is a banger corey is a banger yeah corey bell i was i was missing an action yesterday oh what was happening uh i actually went uh i was helping out with tj then we we grabbed drinks after oh hell yeah i thought you were missing an action you're gonna be like i had to go to the hospital yeah i was waiting for that i'm good steven che you feeling good about the Bucs tonight?
Starting point is 00:18:27 I'm looking forward to hopefully a very good game. Okay, so that was a no. That was a hard no. That was as negative as Stephen could be about his pretty good game. Wait, your headphones don't work? No, they don't work. Can we get his headphones working? Looking forward to a hopefully good game.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Yeah, it's not good. That's like jake marsh said the other day he said the dolphins uh against the chiefs is a must compete the biggest loser thing you can say oh it's like a record scratch like what did you just say dude must compete must compete you've already lost that's that must compete we got to play those youtube videos when you get your headphones the ones we were watching last night yeah what's that guy's name again oh fuck have you guys seen this guy something kevin leonardo no yeah but you're kevin leonardo yes
Starting point is 00:19:16 is that like dracula flow v3 he's a uh youtube vlogger that i don't i don't really know what he does, but he's... Oh. It's a wild, wild thing. Wide range of topics. One topic is how to get bigger loads, and the next is my thoughts on Hamas in Israel. This is like right after another? Yeah. Yeah, right after another. Fire takes? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Just him talking? Yeah. Moving? Yeah. He's walking and talking sitting and talking in like a studio setup and he is he when i want we watched it and this guy showed it to us i was like that's a yak that's a whole show right there yeah we just watch all of his videos because he is something else i forget if he had like a big following or not as a fella but he he was electric for sure.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Brandon, what's wrong? You haven't said a word since you came back. You kind of looked around like it's somebody going to ask you what happened. Was it diarrhea? No, it wasn't diarrhea. You didn't bring your phone with you. No, I didn't. I just had to run and do something real quick and then I ran right back. It's not that big of a deal.
Starting point is 00:20:22 I mean, you left the door open, so is there a good reason to leave the door open? What did you do? I left my, I came in here and I realized, oh, I didn't throw away my Wendy's bag and my Wendy's cup. And they're on the desk. And if I stay in the act the whole time, that means they're going to lay out there for two hours. And I don't want to leave trash around the new office. Your studio.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Wow. It's your studio. Big difference. Also, Dave's walking around. And the idea that Dave was about to walk in there and see my trash sitting on in the new studio yeah i was like i i should go get that that's what happened good man good man do you dave's not gonna go into our studio though i don't know that he knows it exists so yeah dave is here you should try to get him on the yak i would love that let's lure him in here.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Mook, I brought you a new friend yesterday. Talk some Michigan. I brought Mook a new friend to the comedy show. Did you talk about this? Shout out to the boys for coming out, by the way. Yeah. It was a great time. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I did notice that I had not been to a comedy show in a long time. Comedians love just being like shout out and then having everyone clap for them and their friends yep like multiple times let's hear it one more time yeah and shout out that guy and everyone's yeah and i love clapping yeah but it was just like how many shout outs are we doing a lot of shout outs it's a big like give it up for this yeah right one more time for this guy come on now isn'tsecure. They just need to constantly be happy. Oh, I can't wait to host. Oh my god. How about him?
Starting point is 00:21:51 There it is. And that was the show. Give it up for this dude up front. Yeah, shout out this guy. You doing crowd work with no jokes would be hilarious. I'm going to try to do pre-written crowd work for a sentence. So if it would be just like a chick, I'd be like, what's up, you fat fuck?
Starting point is 00:22:12 Should we just have a routine conversation with no punchlines? Look at this fat motherfucker right here. You stupid fat bitch. Everyone's just sitting there. Meanwhile, you're staring at a girl. Real, real mean. She's going to have an eating disorder. It's going to ruin her life. Nice belly.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Fat bitch. I'm going to love hosting. Yuck. I would never. You literally start puking On my pool trick At a repulsive bitch Sorry I didn't mean to puke This fat bitch is in front
Starting point is 00:22:58 Hell yeah So I'm looking forward to that And you did You brought me a new friend I brought Mook a friend To the show What'd you bring? I brought this guy Wait he has a new friend?
Starting point is 00:23:13 Yeah I brought Mook a friend Uh oh We're getting signs What? What are the signs? The headphones work They don't work No
Starting point is 00:23:20 No They do not work Signs do more damage than good Just say Yeah Yeah Wait so you brought him a friend? No No They do not work Signs do more damage than good Just say Yeah Yeah Wait so you brought him a friend? Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:30 I met a dude at a bar Brought him to me Oh the Perth guy Yeah Can you guys explain it So you just met him at a bar And you're like Hey I'm about to hit this
Starting point is 00:23:36 Combat show You trying to come? Yeah Nice So yesterday was Mook Appreciation Day on Anus Okay And we got him a trip to Perth
Starting point is 00:23:44 Okay Australia For the weekend and he's never been i've never met anybody from australia we go to the bar after the recording and we sit down this guy's like hi do you mind if i sit here we're like what the fuck yes hey by all means yes please and uh he's like i'm going to the comedy show next door and i'm like what the fuck is happening? And I asked where he's from. He's from Perth.
Starting point is 00:24:09 I'm like, holy shit, we're sending our boy there for the weekend. He's like, I'll pick him up from the airport. This is directly after it happened. 10 minutes after it happened. I don't believe it. It's not real. Yeah. They're doing a bit. I don't know what kind of bit they have going on.
Starting point is 00:24:19 His Instagram, longest yeah boy ever. Longest what? His name's longest yeah boy ever is what his instagram handle is and he is australian as fuck yeah what was he doing here he was visiting chicago okay wait so perth is extra australian yeah that's what oh yeah it's pure australia that's like the cartoonish depiction of australians from what i like on the other side from where all the stuff is right capital uh if you google furthest city from chicago it's actually the first result oh and you're going for how long a day and a half oh and how long
Starting point is 00:24:51 does it take to get there quarters 40 to 60 hours okay yeah well that's gonna be fun yeah and this this guy came in to the comedy show didn't introduce me to him at all he just comes up to me and goes i'm gonna pick you up from the Perth airport, mate, or whatever the fuck his accent was. But it was a jarring experience. But now this is perfect. Yeah, what are the odds? You literally have a guy who can just show you around for the 12 hours that you're in Perth.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Yeah. Did he seem cool? Were you like, yeah, I'd hang out with him, Luke? Yeah, I mean, I have a buddy now. Perth, Australia. I have a Perth buddy. So how long is this flight? 33 to get there. Yeah. It's long is this flight? Thirty three to get
Starting point is 00:25:25 there. Yeah. It's not that bad. No. Not doing that. Thirty three hours. Yeah. Because of the time
Starting point is 00:25:32 difference. The time difference. I don't know. What's the flight time? Is the thirty three travel time broken up? Yeah. It's broken up to
Starting point is 00:25:40 three stops. You fly. Oh my God. Flying into L.A. to Melbourne. Yeah. You actually got him these tickets. I have in Malaysia. Oh, my gosh. Flying into L.A. to Melbourne. Yeah. You actually got him these tickets?
Starting point is 00:25:46 I have the confirmation. And wait, when are you leaving on Friday? So I take off March 7th and I don't land until March 9th. And then when do you
Starting point is 00:25:55 come back? Completely free of charge. When do you come back? I come back March 11th. Oh, my God. And I got him... March 11th? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:04 And we got two nights of holiday in. He's one day. So will you leave on March 11th? Oh, my God. I got him. March 11th? Yeah. And we got two nights of holiday in. He's one day. So will you leave on March 11th? No, Nick. You're telling me we can't do this? The best type of gift is getting somebody something they'd never get for themselves. A two-day trip, 40 hours away. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:26:22 That's why it wasn't your appreciation day. I hope you're in the crowd when i'm doing stand-up one of the worst parts is five days later after i get back to chicago i'm flying back to la oh my god yeah that'll feel like nothing yeah yeah it's true it's like and we're letting you have the miles so if you ever fly Malaysian again, you'll be able to... Your status. That is so mean. No, it's not. I don't see why.
Starting point is 00:26:52 I mean, it's mean. I mean, two nights. Yeah, but it's not like it's a week or something. We're talking two nights. You're traveling for two days to be somewhere for two nights and then you got to travel back? No, no, no. That's the biggest...
Starting point is 00:27:02 Traveling two days for one night. It's one night. Even worse. That's the biggest. Traveling two days for one night. It's one night. Even worse. That's the biggest flex in the world. Like, yeah, I went and had lunch in Perth. Yeah, if you have a private jet. I don't think there's anything you could pay me to do that trip. Like, that's an insane trip.
Starting point is 00:27:18 You could pay me to do the trip, but I'm not taking that trip. All right, done. You're going with mook. No, you've got to pay me. You've got to take care of it. We're flying first class. Are you flying first class that trip. Done. You're going with mook. No, you got to pay me. You got to take care of it. We're flying first class. Are you flying first class? No.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Comfort plus. You get an outlet. I think all those long flights, it reclines all the way. Oh. I mean, that's solid. And you have a boy there now. I'm fully going. He was talking about the brothels.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Completely illegal brothels. What if you fall in love? 300 for guaranteed clean pee. And I think it's like 150 for skeptical. What about cream pie? Cream pie? I don't know. That might be 500 bucks.
Starting point is 00:28:03 What if I have a baby mama in Perth? That'd be so sick. You'd just go every other weekend. So far away. Split custody. Leave on Wednesday. We'll get there. Every week.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Little visiting hours. Every Sunday. Oh, a little ginger Australian would be such a piece of shit. That'd be the biggest dickhead ever. Half Philly, half Australian. Oh, my God. Oh, Bogan cunt. So gross.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Problem. A real problem. It's like destiny meeting a dude from Perth right next to us at the bar. That's the part I don't buy. He might swing by later. I don't even get it. I met him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Like, where did you find that guy? Sitting right next to us. Yeah, I think you're getting set up. Yeah, I'm having trouble with this, too. I promise you, yeah. Like, where did you find that guy? Sitting right next to us. Yeah, I think you're getting set up. Yeah, I'm having trouble with this, too. I promise you, coincidence. You promise? Yeah. I mean, Chicago's a major American city.
Starting point is 00:28:53 I mean, people would vacation here. Yeah, Perth is big. But Perth is so far. An hour later after I find out I'm going to Perth. He's going to Perth. Is it shocking a guy would go from Perth to Chicago? This guy came to Chicago to see you. Yeah, what if someone does a...
Starting point is 00:29:04 You can go to Perth to see him. He guy came to Chicago to see you. Yeah. What if someone does a, what if you can go to Perth for, he's the producer of an Australian podcast and they were like, prank idea. Let's say, I think it would be awesome. An awesome video. If he just, you did got a standup spot there one night.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Yeah. Yeah. I would, I would international do that. Yeah. That would be awesome. Titus. If,
Starting point is 00:29:22 if mook lands and the guy picks him up and he's like alright you ready to edit our show and then you get his Australian producer producer swap that's a good idea the longest distance producer swap you guys should do that on anus oh my god we should find yeah
Starting point is 00:29:41 send us yours and we're sending an Australian Perth podcast, TJ, can you check? Send us yours. Yeah, send us your producer. And we're sending you Mook. So now we're going to put Mook to work on his day in a head. Yeah. I think that makes it more worthwhile. I think so too.
Starting point is 00:29:55 If I'm being honest. I think so too. I envision this to be like historic. In what sense? Like this has never been done. This is like a once, This is so Like once in a Universe thing I can see this like
Starting point is 00:30:08 Somehow becoming a blip In the local news in Perth Like American Man Headlines The Perth podcast Oh yeah For 24 hours I actually think yeah
Starting point is 00:30:19 You have to get in the local news That's what you have to do So you're gonna have to do something Cause it's only 11,000 people there. It's like small. Perth has... Oh, unless I got that wrong. Perth's big.
Starting point is 00:30:28 I think Perth has 2 million. Oh. What'd you say it was? You know me and my sport call. You say 11,000? 11,000. I think you're thinking of 1.9 million.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Christchurch? That has like 300,000. Oh, it does? Oh, 1.98 Yeah just a little off About 2 million off But there's no Whatever
Starting point is 00:30:49 Still never mind We probably won't make the news I don't think he's gonna make the news Yeah Are you guys You never know Do what Do they work
Starting point is 00:30:57 Yeah they work now Mine does not God damn it So this dude from Perth too He's a A big stoolie Yeah He's gonna be soth too He's a big stoolie Yeah He's gonna be so fired up
Starting point is 00:31:07 He's probably telling everybody right now Yeah All 11,000 That's why Barstool has to get on the news It's like Barstool scouting land For an international Oh yeah
Starting point is 00:31:16 Take a meeting Flying mook in Take a meeting Okay I'll take a meeting Head of foreign affairs And how do I make the news What should I do to make the news here? What is the best way to do that?
Starting point is 00:31:27 I think you gotta wear a suit. Kill somebody. Yeah. Kill somebody. No, you need to get a... We need to get you a meeting with the mayor of Perth. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't think that'll... Let's get the mayor of Perth. No, why not? Why not? Yeah. You're... You gotta bring
Starting point is 00:31:43 him... What if you prank him? Basil Zempilis. Oh, Lord Mayor. You should bring him a cheesesteak from Philly. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll ship it now.
Starting point is 00:31:55 No, no, no refrigeration. Just put it in your backpack. Yeah. Just be like, I brought this for you, Basil. Soggy steak. Wait, go to his controversies. He's got a controversies tab. Let's go. Let's go. Controversies. Oh, go to his controversies. He's got a controversies tab. Let's go, let's go.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Oh, a big one. Oh. A big one. In January 2007, Zempilis received a fine and three-month suspension of his driver's license, pleading guilty to drunk driving. They do that in Australia? Drink driving. Drink driving is different.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Slightly different, maybe. You're doing it while you're driving? Drink driving. What's drink driving he would clean up the city from rough sleepers stating i make no apologies for this the homeless need to be moved out of the hay and murray street malls in the surrounding areas forcibly if that's what it takes this is my kind of guy sick of being told by people who don't live and work in the city like i do that it's not that bad. Actually
Starting point is 00:32:45 it's worse. The look, the smell, the language, the fights, it's disgusting. A blight on our city. If you've got a penis, mate, you're a bloke. If you've got a vagina, you're a woman. Game over. Game over. Why do you say game over?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Game over. Can we find him saying that? Game over. Why do you say game over? Game over. What the hell? Can we find him saying that? Yo, that goes hard, dude. We need that clip of him saying game over. I need to hear that voice. I need to hear how he said game over. Game over.
Starting point is 00:33:15 That's like that let a thousand blossoms bloom. Yeah. You know, every three months someone's eaten by a crocodile in North Queensland. You ever see that guy? Yeah. He would get along well with your politician. You can send Herak, too.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Where did he say this? If we can get in touch with Herak, I will absolutely buy Herak a ticket to go with Mook. Me and Herak in Perth? Yes. The fact that we can is insane. And our only goal is to like protest yeah
Starting point is 00:33:45 boo a parade Travis find a parade the Perth guy just hit me up he said he asked Mook if he wants
Starting point is 00:33:50 if you want any Australian snacks he's here all weekend some chupa chups I'm down chucky brickies Vegemite some Vegemite
Starting point is 00:33:57 chupa chups the sucker yeah that logo was designed by Salvador Dali wait where is Travis right now crazy
Starting point is 00:34:03 he's in Chicago yeah tell him to come over here. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, tell him to come right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Or you can have him come tomorrow if you want to do the full show. He can swing by. Okay. We don't need him for too long. Yeah. He's Mook's best friend. This guy's going to, like, human traffic me. No way.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Like, are you guys selling me? We did sell you, buddy. I think human traffic me. No way. Are you guys selling me? We did sell you, buddy. I think you sold me. We should put a GoPro on you for the whole time, like a black box for an airplane. I want to hear his thoughts on the Perth mayor.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Yeah. He probably loves him. He's a big basil guy. I need to see this game over clip. Did you find it? I wrote a sketch called Pedophile Dundee. That's not a child
Starting point is 00:34:45 this Will I need you to act for me you're perfect I know you keep writing up these things I'm not going to be in this one you guys can do a little acting yeah I like that things. I'm not going to be in this one. You guys going to do a little acting? Yeah. I like that.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Well, no, I'm behind the camera. Which I didn't know that part. Nick, you're a good actor. Yeah, yeah, but I have a career to look forward to. Pedophile Dundee. You like that? That's funny as hell. It's basically like Joe Exotic.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Yeah, he was gay. Was he? Yeah, he was gay. Is he dead? No. He's probably still gay. He was married to two men. Oh, he's still gay.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Hansel's out? Yeah. I think he's still gay. He had an arm. Oh, yeah, he was gay. That's right. Who's the crazy lady? That's not his wife?
Starting point is 00:35:45 No. She killed her. Yeah, Brandon never he was gay. That's right. Who's the crazy lady? That's not his wife? No. She killed her. Yeah, Brandon never saw Tiger King. I never saw Tiger King. I didn't either. What were you guys doing during COVID? I refused to watch it. I was playing Risk every night.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Really? Yeah. Love Risk. Are you a board game guy? Yeah. Matter of fact, I heard that you guys were out doing a board game series, and I was really curious about it. I would love to play some war strategy games with you.
Starting point is 00:36:09 How long are you in town? I'd love to. Until tomorrow morning. Next week? Yeah, unless you want to do something this afternoon. I could do that. Buy some Risk? What are y'all doing?
Starting point is 00:36:19 Bonding. Hanging out with the boys. Wait, wait, wait. Are you jealous, Brandon? Is it Risk or Tigo? I want to play Seven Wonders with you. Oh, never played that. Yeah, you'd like it.
Starting point is 00:36:28 What is Seven Wonders? Kind of talking to Will right now. No, it's we'll play a board game. I'd love to a board game night. You should make a board game. I want to. My thesis, my senior thesis, my final class in college is board game design. to try my scene my my thesis my senior thesis my final class in college was board game design oh that's awesome game do you have your final board game that you made yeah
Starting point is 00:36:50 you're in trouble it's about holding your piss at work if you're afraid to use the bathroom we should make a yak board game all right that'll be awesome actually we have references out the wazoo there has to be a wheel gotta make let's make a yak board game yeah all right yeah no question that you yes that is awesome yeah every time i play a board game i'm like this is more fun than anything else i do yeah dude board games are great i love that we moved to chicago and now this is just becoming like barnes and noble we're selling books and yeah man that's exciting yeah yeah we uh yeah the book is the book's gonna be something we're gonna so
Starting point is 00:37:26 they want us to sell quite a bit of the books oh yeah yes 2000 2000 was oh I thought it was 200 I thought so too
Starting point is 00:37:34 I was talking to TJ we're gonna just do an episode where we're just signing the whole time yeah we're gonna sign all the books and what so I think 2000's a very ambitious number
Starting point is 00:37:43 for this book yeah but uh I think what the plan is that we're going to all read our own chapter. So if you buy the book, you also get a link to a private video of us reading. Oh, nice. And then we will eventually release a Frank the Tank. Yeah. The table of contents was sent to us, and I'm chapter one, and I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:38:04 So chapter one of the book starts know that so my first chapter one the book starts and it says a few days later that's perfect that's exactly what we need the chapter to look like yeah here it is chapter one leprechaun teased by nick tranny chapter two devious hobgoblin pussy junkie by mook chapter three dracotor with 18 cocks chapter 4 twin harpies chapter 5 rock hard gremlin virgin chapter 6 third party bull force nymph chapter 7 cyclops that dies post orgasm gave it away 39 and then the next chapter is 52 and I
Starting point is 00:38:41 have to tell you it's me and the beef oh that's not a spoiler but it's also it's me and the beef. Oh. That's not a spoiler, but it's. Also, it's not a spoiler either because that's the condition she drew. Chapter 8, Mega Titty Yeti. Chapter 9, Deaf Goobies. Chapter 10, Cum Flood Chimera fucking Brandon. Spoiler alert.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah. Well, or is it? Oh, my God. 10 chapters. Not god. Ten chapters. 67 pages. Not to be that guy, but I understand that multiple of you are fucking me? Yes. Brandon is in at least three of these. This is a perfect stocking stuffer, though.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Mine is Branson Waller. Oh god. 75 pages. If I can check a bag On my flights I'll bring like 50 of these books to Perth Yeah Oh that's good
Starting point is 00:39:27 Spread them around Yeah Just leave them Yeah Basil will not like that I could see you getting arrested for that Yeah Leave them in the
Starting point is 00:39:35 Just bring in porn And disturb it in it And then get him back on a plane Drop him off at a school Yeah maybe do a reading Put him in those little Oh Basil will get mad Those little libraries
Starting point is 00:39:43 They put out by mailboxes Like take a book, leave a book And it's always like Dr. Seuss books Take one of those Throw in one of our books Nothing would make me happier if we just found Some random Australian guy Became a Yak fan
Starting point is 00:39:57 Like I found this book And now I don't know what happened But if that's his entry point He's going to have wild expectations of us. Yeah, Travis is on his way. Oh, nice. Perfect. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:40:13 And his name is Travis? Yeah. Don't you guys hate Travis? Is he funny? No. No, we love Travis. We love Travis. We found the funniest Travis.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Yeah, we found the funniest Travis. Funniest Travis USA. How long ago was that? What's he been up to? He was funny. We should do another name. Craig. I don't think there's a Craig that doesn't have glasses.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Craig Robinson's funny. Craig Kilbourne? Craig's wear sweaters and glasses. Craig Ferguson? He puts on slippers when he walks into the house. Craig Robinson's funny. Yeah. Craig Kilbourne? Craig's wears sweaters and glasses. Craig's, yeah. Craig Ferguson? He puts on slippers when he walks into the house. Because Craig is just like a more buttoned up Craig. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:53 He really is. They got their, Craig's have their shit together. Your wisdom is endless. Craig's list? I did that. I did that right now. And I agree fully. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:03 It sounds right. Like I knew, I have a friend that's Greg and I i knew a guy named craig and craig like had his shit together yeah he really don't version of greg yeah yeah exactly the grown-up yeah all gregs are like uh a cocoon and they become a butterfly a craig wow yeah that's exactly how it works. Yeah. My dad, Greg, is back on his bullshit. Someone texted him, got his number somehow, and is doing the gift card scam. And he's taking this guy for a ride. Is he going to share it eventually? I hope so. It's very funny.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Okay, TJ. You want to do the high noon ad read, someone? I'm not allowed to. Someone sent me the clip of the guy, the mayor. Oh, all right. Send it to TJ. We'll watch that. You said someone's got your dad's number?
Starting point is 00:41:59 Yeah, pretending to be his boss. Trying to get him to pick up gift cards. Go ahead, Titus. It's time to load up the ice and break out the oversized long games because the High Noon Game Day Pack is back. It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit, made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, and no added sugar.
Starting point is 00:42:17 The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Visit HighNoonSpirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. I'm going up to Madison. Yeah. That's going to be my next tailgate. Yeah, I got tickets, so you won't be on the sidelines, because I figured it would also be weird for you and Big Ed will be together.
Starting point is 00:42:43 It would be. I thought about that, too. I truly don't want to be. I truly don't want to be the asshole that's like wearing Ohio State stuff. Because we're on the Madison side. Yeah. Yeah. Wisconsin sidelines.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I don't want to be that guy. Yeah. But I'm also like not not going to cheer for. Right. I did that once when Wisconsin played Northwestern and I got tickets through Northwestern and they were like, can you cover up your like? Yeah, it's very weird. I was like, yeah, that's probably fair.
Starting point is 00:43:05 I went to the Notre Dame-Ohio State football game, and Notre Dame basketball basically got me the tickets, and I didn't know that. This past year? Yeah, at Notre Dame. Oh, nice. Yeah, we were out there, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:16 You guys didn't link up? No, I didn't link up. No, I didn't. There's no way. Damn, Mark. Yeah, it was my fault. Shit. Dude, we got to meet Vince Vaughn on that trip.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Oh, man. It was insane. Sounds awesome. It sounds sick, man. Is there anything else? But to also flex. What else did you guys do? Is there anything else?
Starting point is 00:43:36 I just kind of went to the game. We took photos. I was kind of walking around just kicking a rock around waiting for someone to text me. If I would have known you were there, we would have linked well did vince do anything funny i mean he's just like a football guy he said no name was gonna win i stood next to him in lsu alabama game but like we didn't we like we had like you know when you're like standing next to someone at a game or sitting next to someone you have like a little bit of like passing comments but never but you never really make it official. It actually was LSU didn't score a touchdown because when you're at a game,
Starting point is 00:44:11 your in is like a big play in the high five. And then you're like, all right, now we're rooting together. Yeah, because something happened and he looked back and he said, hey, you guys want to stand up here? And we were like, hell yeah. Yeah, you had your in. We just never had an in. And then when – you're Ohio State. But when Notre Dame didn't take the three points
Starting point is 00:44:25 on their first drive and they tried going for it, we're both like having common. They should have took the three there. Yeah. And he's like, Tom Osborne would have done that. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:44:32 oh, that's fucking sick. Wait, he said Tom Osborne? Yes, bro. Because he knows it. Because he probably knows me. Right. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:44:38 He knows of me. You play off Willie, right? That's a sick reference. It's me, Vince. Tom Osborne. The one and only, playoff Willie. right? That's a sick reference. Tom Watts. The one and only playoff Willie. That one guy was mad that you called yourself playoff Willie. The other night.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Oh, no. Yeah, last night. I know. It's that guy's problem. Yeah, you know how it is. You get him every day. You know how it is. Yeah, you know how it is. You get people trying to pull you down every day, man.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Oh, every day. Every day. They try people trying to pull you down every day, man. Oh, every day. Every day. They try to grab you and just bring you to their level. Yeah. Oh, now I get to show a play that I had. Can't let them do it, though. Oh, that's weird. Here's an interception.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Yeah. You ever heard of Sam Bradford? Picked him off. Yeah. Russell Wilson? Yeah. Why do you think he's doing bad right now? It is great because you do act, Will, exactly how any of us would act if we had played a
Starting point is 00:45:24 professional sport i would be posting my highlight oh my god all the time all the time you're like oh that's funny here's my one sack the funniest uh highlight spammer at this company is carl though when he goes that's like through the the opposite batter's box yeah it called the strike he's like i don't know, ball, suck on this. Hey, that's funny. It's a 78-mile-an-hour fastball. 92 pops up on the screen.
Starting point is 00:45:52 That's great. No, I'm sorry. That cracks me up every time he does it. Oh, there he is. Yep. How was this found? Killer. Oh, you had a tan going?
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah. Was that tanning? Is that a real thing yeah i'm gonna say it i went to the bahama bodies on main street yeah you were a little sticker on your waist like some guys got me into i regret it but yeah you were tanning i was tanning bahama bodies wrestler we get real real real pale and it's a winter sport and our whole body's showing. And you kind of feel better when you look tan. Wrestlers, it's different. It's a different culture, bro. I don't know. That kind of undermines the mentally tough part.
Starting point is 00:46:39 I need to tan to feel better. I must go to Bahama bodies. Dude, it felt so rejuvenating, though. I used to love it. There's not a lot of mental toughness in tanning beds. Yeah, yeah. It's not. It wasn't.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Did you guys? I wouldn't use the goggles. They're secure enough to know that, like, yo, I'm going to get a tan. Who gives a shit? What are you going to do about it? Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. Yeah, it's tough.
Starting point is 00:46:59 I don't care if anybody finds out. Or did you hide it? Hide the fact? I don't know how you, like, I wouldn't go around being like yeah yeah this is tanning bed yeah but like if you're tan in the middle of ohio and winter people and people can put the puzzle pieces together did you grow up in ohio pretty much we were right across the river so are you like a uh ohio oh are you like a A drinker where you're kind of like Wanting to see somebody look at you wrong Me?
Starting point is 00:47:29 Yeah Like I wish a motherfucker would be the guy Yeah And you're just like Hey brother We just got here To where Yeah I feel like Ohio
Starting point is 00:47:36 Wrestling You guys It's like when something happens Like with my brother He'd be like Oh these motherfuckers over here I'd be like Hey we just got here
Starting point is 00:47:43 And I'd have to lean Like who I felt like Could influence him the most I'd be like oh these motherfuckers over here i'd be hey we just got here i'd have to lean like who i felt like it could influence him the most i'd be hey make sure cody doesn't you're right ohio too much go my college experience was just witnessing fights and then never since yeah that's also college just with your own wrestling team guys yeah there's definitely but even like everyone at kent state was just constantly fighting your own wrestling team guys? Yeah, there's definitely a college. But even like everyone at Kent State was just constantly fighting. Your own wrestling team guys or just like everyone? Them. Yes. Like probably like 10 of them would just regularly see the fight. The goal of going out was pussy and then if that didn't happen
Starting point is 00:48:11 was it fight? Pussy and fight. I mean, think about wrestlers are smaller. Not saying that in a disrespectful way, but they're smaller. They're badasses. They want to fight so bad. They want people who are standing over them to be like, yo, fucking do something. Like, I'll show you.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Right. Yeah. TJ, I just said you. That's how it was. Yeah. We were talking about. I just couldn't play that role. I couldn't pretend to be that guy.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Yeah. We were talking about Carl's highlight. Did you guys see this kid who tried out for his college baseball team? I don't know. It went pretty viral. Oh, I didn't see. I didn't read it. I'll read it.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Thanks for reaching out. You were not viral. Oh, I didn't see. I didn't read it. I'll read it. Thanks for reaching out. You were not kept past the tryout based on ability. As I mentioned at the tryout, we would only retain people if we thought they would be able to help us win games this year. We do not feel that way based on your tryout. As for the future, your ability was very, very far away from being considered to be part of our roster. Your fastball was around 68 to 70 miles an hour.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Our players are usually 88 to 90 at a minimum. Your offensive performance is equally distant from what it takes to be a part of our team. Being perfectly honest, playing college baseball is not a realistic expectation for you, especially at the division one level. I apologize for the bluntness, but I feel that honesty is important.
Starting point is 00:49:21 This dude just showed up. I love this. And tried to play baseball. He love it. This is trying to play baseball. He's throwing 68 miles an hour. This coach is Dave Portnoy. That's not like Dave. Such an awesome move. This guy's wasting my time.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Yeah, he's like, no. I love it, too, because I bet you that guy was like, what if today I just have a fastball? Yeah. That's what I meant with the dunk. Yeah. Oh, my God. What if today I'm throwing 90 this
Starting point is 00:49:46 this reminds me of the guy that uh you brought on the yak that you're like you spun the wheel to get a job yeah and then he comes to the final four and meets dave yeah that was tough and then he's like he's like i can do this for you dave just is looking at him he's like no and then he's like why not he's like i don't think you have it yeah i don't know if he was right or wrong or otherwise, but I was like, damn, I kind of respect that you're not like. Dave's good at that. He knows right away if a guy's got it or not. And I'm serious.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Like that. That is how Dave communicates with his employees. He's like, this is not good enough. Yeah. Yeah. You suck. Thank you later. Stop trying.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Who has Dave been wrong about? Nick. He said I wasn't electric in my interview. And he said he doesn't think. Yeah. But I'm not really an electric guy. Jack Mack has found himself big time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Ooh, that's a good question. He is very good. Like, I've sent Dave a bunch of people, and he'll just instantly be like, no. I'm like, okay. Like, because I'm... My problem is when people reach out, and I'm like, I try to, I'm too like, oh, yeah, maybe there's a chance. I hate letting people down.
Starting point is 00:50:51 But Dave's just like instant, like, nope, doesn't got it. Yeah. And he's, yeah, he's usually spot on. I don't know who else. Who is it? Who did he not think had it? Yeah. Who did he not think had it? And, who did he not think had it?
Starting point is 00:51:05 And then you or somebody else is like, just give it a minute. He didn't fully understand PFT when I explained him to him. But he was like, that also was like, dude, he's got a huge following. He's obviously very, very funny. He didn't get Clemmer at first, did he? No, he did. He just saw Clemmer and was like, yup. He was one of those. He was one of those.
Starting point is 00:51:26 He was one of those. I was cracking up at the team picture. Oh, yeah. Clemmer and his manager uniform. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see their stats? No.
Starting point is 00:51:36 I didn't. So they're undefeated? Yeah. 2-0? Well, they tied a team, a co-ed team. How do you tie a team in basketball? They just didn't do overtime just like next next next point do another minute yeah john rich does it again john rich man wait wait yeah
Starting point is 00:51:52 john rich could either be in high fashion or in prison what a what a group of studs and billy is like he just doesn't cool down well that game was like two hours ago and he's still i don't think dana does either you just see it on his face guy needs to go into like a meat wedding in a polo some guys just don't cool down well can we zoom on john rich no oh man that's the same as... Is that Photoshop? No, dude. I thought that was the running bit.
Starting point is 00:52:29 No. I think he is doing it a little bit on purpose because obviously he's not smiling. The one from the tungsten meeting was not on purpose. He was just exhausted. It was horrifying. I think it's the scariest a man's ever been. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:43 He looked like the villain from Stranger Things. That's not even ever been. Yeah. He looked like the villain from Stranger Things. That's not even a human. Yeah. I can't wait till Travis gets here. I love that we have Kyle Long in the building, and our first guest on the Yak is Travis. Will's here. Will's here.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Yeah, Will's a regular at this point. Well, I figure Travis can also be in the booth. We only have eight mics. We have a ninth mic. We have a ninth mic? It's on the floor behind Brennan. Well, then he's got to stand weirdly. Are you nervous to be around Travis?
Starting point is 00:53:11 We could have Kyle stand. Kyle stand. It'd be a sight. I told Kyle. Him next to you. Him next to. I mean, really on the whole panel. But you right next to him on the pro football show.
Starting point is 00:53:20 He's so massive. He's such a big dude. He's a fucking monster. He's like, yo, I was 350. What are you now? He's like 300. Oh, my God. Yeah so he's such a big dude he's a fucking monster he's like yo i was 350 i can't what do you know he's like 300 oh my god yeah he's still dude he looks like he can play when we went to his house he like the kitchen was the greatest kitchen i've ever been to it looked like one of those um amazon stores that you self-checkout where all the food is just out yeah you know what i mean like it was just like like 15 frozen pizzas where all the food is just out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it was just like, like 15 frozen pizzas,
Starting point is 00:53:46 like all the snacks. You just got to keep on the weight. Yeah. It's nuts. Those guys just eat. Just, they don't even enjoy it. That's hard.
Starting point is 00:53:55 That's harder than cutting weight. I watched him house two large Jack's pizzas at, at midnight. And then just be like, all right, I'm going to bed. It's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. Uh-oh. I think we've got the arrival of Travis. I think I'm about to get shot. Travis. I don't really know this guy at all. Yeah. This is great.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I'm going to Australia with him, though. Well, now you're going to get a little icebreaker. You guys should probably tell each other your deepest, darkest fears. Not a great precedent. They just met a guy at a bar randomly and now he's on the yak
Starting point is 00:54:30 the next day. But he's also from Perth. And he's going to be picking you up at the airport. That's a worse. Yeah, I don't think this is a bad precedent because it's like,
Starting point is 00:54:38 okay, all right. If you can find any of us at a bar and you're from Perth and live in Perth, yeah, you can come on the act. Okay. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:46 There's the precedent. All right. And this is probably good too for mook. It's like the Perth guys got to meet. What's his name? Travis. He's got to, he's got to meet the family before they could take mook away.
Starting point is 00:54:56 That is true. Yeah. Actually, well, could you do like a inner, like channel your brother and just maybe do a little, can you grow a little ocular pat down of What's up Travis
Starting point is 00:55:15 Do you want to sit in the booth or do you want them to? Brandon's got to go You can take mine too I can I can go to the booth. No, Mook, I need you here. No, Mook, you're here. We got a lot of questions, Travis. You hear his voice? Yeah, check him.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Check him. Check him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See his face. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, he's good. Good size. Hang on.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Hang on. Hang on. There you go, Will Just gotta make sure Anything? Nothing How strong did he feel? Huh? How strong did he feel?
Starting point is 00:55:54 We can take no Okay, okay Yeah, we could What's up, Travis? Not too much Yeah, he's Australian I told you You're right
Starting point is 00:56:04 You're so right purely coincidence that we sat next to each other at the bar yeah so how did you meet Nick well I'll just wait talk in the mic yeah move the mic
Starting point is 00:56:12 a little closer yeah there you go I was looking for somebody to watch the game and said I gotta go to BL this guy's accent rocks you rock Travis
Starting point is 00:56:20 and then I'm turned around and saw Nick but he was eating so I didn't want to disrupt him. So I waited and then oh, hey, go. And he
Starting point is 00:56:29 he couldn't believe I was from Paris. Where am I from? We're from Paris. We're from Paris. Are you a Barstool fan? Until he told me the story I didn't understand.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Are you a Barstool fan? Yeah, man. Oh, okay. So you knew Nick? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Got it. All right.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Yeah. Holy shit. But coincidence, we sat next to each other and we we just finished buying, we bought Mook a trip to Perth. Within the hour. Within the hour. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:51 We were talking about how we know nothing about Perth. That's right. No one from Perth. We never met someone from Perth. Yes. And then Travis walked in. Right immediately afterwards. Yes.
Starting point is 00:57:00 And now Travis will be picking up Mook. You live right by the airport. Yeah, I can pick him up. That's no big deal. Travis, so what are you doing in America? How long have you been here? What's your plan? I've been here about a month.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Okay. So I started in LA, picked a car up, did a bit of a road trip through Colorado, Texas. That rules. LSU, Nashville. Did you go to a game? Yeah, I went to the Auburn game oh we were there yeah
Starting point is 00:57:27 did you go to the college football show I went to Fred's afterwards ah okay yeah so that's awesome so has it been
Starting point is 00:57:34 a fun trip that's like yeah it's been cool accents gotta be a cheat code you doing it by yourself yeah so I met up with a few friends along the way
Starting point is 00:57:41 yeah I went to the LSU game with a couple other people hung out with a friend in New York way. Yeah, I went to the LSU game with a couple other people, hung out with a friend in New York. But, yeah. Do you have any friends in Chicago? Well, Moog.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. Yeah, Moog's going out to visit them. They really hit it off. You come out just to do like an America trip or a college football? Just America trip. So I've been to like hockey games. Went to the Rangers game in Texasxas oh playoff baseball or
Starting point is 00:58:07 was it yeah no the same sort of thing happened i was just sitting at the bar next to the stadium talking to some guys and they had his bed ticket so you know that you rock should we all go to perth i kind of want to hang out with Travis. What got you into America, like the American sports? Oh, I've been into it forever. Yeah, I don't know. Picked it up.
Starting point is 00:58:28 So, started with like NFL, but yeah, now it's everything. Do you have a team? Yeah, Bills. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Yeah. Big game tonight. Where are you going to watch it? Like I said, I've got no plans. This trip's just been going wherever. So,
Starting point is 00:58:43 do you have any Bills paraphernalia? I bought a shirt. Okay just been going wherever so do you have any bills paraphernalia um i bought a shirt okay that's it do you have not find a jersey in new york do you have a bill shirt well on me yeah like we streaming i i think you might be streaming okay all right yeah i think you're gonna sit next to Steven Chey tonight. Pills, bucks. Yeah, and you're streaming. A big rivalry. Chey and Travis. But I need you in a Pills shirt for the stream. So you'll go
Starting point is 00:59:14 home after this? You come back? I can do it. Hey, Steven, welcome to the fucking torture chamber. Yeah, you're done for. You're done. Nice to meet you, Travis. Welcome on board. He doesn't have his headphones on. Fuck you, mate.
Starting point is 00:59:26 He said, fuck you. He said, fuck yourself and die. He said, we're going to fuck up the deals. No, nice to meet you. I don't even do that with a bad accent. All right, so Perth. What is the stereotype and what's it really like?
Starting point is 00:59:38 Well, it's not fun. It's beautiful places. It's really fun to do. Well, he has nearly multiple days there. What do you think he's going to be able to pack it with fun? We can make some sort of itinerary work, I think. They want us to make the local news. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Wait a minute. Whatever you do, I've still got to live there, though. Oh, yeah. You get to leave. I'm the one that will get arrested and deported. Deported, yeah. What's up with your mayor? Yeah, Basil.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Oh, Basil's endless. Basil, yeah. Basil. He's a strange dude. We read his quote about an LGBTQ community. Game over. We have the audio. We do?
Starting point is 01:00:21 Did you hear it? Did you see all that? Oh. I'm double two, double one, 882. Got a $100 Retrovision voucher to give away. For a man, you've got to pay him it, and that's the end of the matter. Well, Penny, never has a caller been so concise on this radio station.
Starting point is 01:00:38 We are going to replay that until the end of my days here at 6PR. You will meet people, though, in your travels, during your journey as Lord Mayor, and you will meet people with a penis who subscribe to being a woman. And how will you handle that? Handle the penis? No, how will you handle that situation?
Starting point is 01:00:58 How will you handle that? Well, I'll tell them what Penny just said to me, Steve. You have a penis, you're a man. You have a penis, you're a man. You have a vagina, you're a woman. I don't think it's as simple as that for some people. For some people. What a morning it's been. And it's only 5.30, can you believe it?
Starting point is 01:01:15 Wait, the instant came over. He was misquoted on Wikipedia. Wow. How do the people like Basil? It's a bit funny. He used to be a football commentator. Oh. Well, he still is. But he does all this media stuff on the side. He It's a bit funny. He used to be a football commentator. Oh. Well, he still is.
Starting point is 01:01:26 But he does all this media stuff on the side. He was like a weatherman. So he's more just like a media personality. And then became mayor? Yeah, that's never happened here. Yeah, no way. No. But yeah, he's not too liked.
Starting point is 01:01:40 He booted all the homeless people out of the city. Well, we saw that. He was pretty hard-lined on the homeless people. But if you're booted from Perth out of the city they just send to the desert just just moved them three suburbs away okay yeah it's gonna be hot in march dude so hot that's the hottest month the hottest that in february yeah all right so you want to see a beach, probably? You're a beach person?
Starting point is 01:02:06 No. Not at all. But I'll do it. You want a spot at a comedy club? I would book a show. Okay. If I could. But I'm down for Travis to just show me the way.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're going to need a driver because the public transport is terrible. Do you know a driver? What do you whip? Oh, okay. Perfect. I'll pick you up, and then we'll just go from so well do you know a driver what do you oh okay i'll pick you up and then we'll just go from there all right what's your like other like your main job like how do you make your living mining what they say that's all it is mining
Starting point is 01:02:38 what kind of mining uh it's like a mineral sands mine so we mine like titanium can you take mook into the mines no oh so where i work is like two hours away from pert okay so i work there for five days and then come home and have five days off oh are you underground no i'm not but a lot of the guys way up north are yeah and like the like the gold mines and stuff. Yeah. So you go five days on, five days off. I'm guessing mining, it's just all dudes? Yeah, pretty much. But all the guys that work like way up north in the middle of nowhere, they're doing like two weeks on, two weeks off rosters.
Starting point is 01:03:17 That probably gets pretty. It's pretty brutal. That's not a miner. Yeah. So you're just hanging with the dudes. Oh, my God. You just hang with the dudes for five days yeah pretty much yeah you start work and then you wildlife yeah yes what could kill mook snakes probably in march yeah yeah yeah in march Yeah, in March. Are they out a lot? They're around. They're around. This is the difference.
Starting point is 01:03:49 What could kill them? Snakes. Animals that can kill you, you can't see them. But I got here and I had to be concerned about bears and mountain lions. They're not around, though. Well, he went through Colorado. Oh, okay. But, you know, snakes, spiders. Anything in the water? Oh be oh yeah jellyfish do you how
Starting point is 01:04:08 many how many snakes have you killed in your life well i grew up in a little town on like a probably 12 acre property so four or five four or five that could kill you no he's killed four or five yeah yeah yeah they all could kill you yeah they just tend to hang around they turn up when it's hot so and what's the most dangerous snake uh the king bran I think is the one you gotta look out for but that'll
Starting point is 01:04:32 that's got enough venom to take down like a hundred people or something do you know do you know people who've died from snake bites no okay
Starting point is 01:04:41 that's good so that's good that is good that's good moop yeah statistically yeah he's due No. Okay. That's good. So that's good. That is good. That's good, Moop. Yeah. Statistically, yeah. He's due.
Starting point is 01:04:51 I feel more comfortable. What's the longest flight you've done? The one here. But that's just to LA. Yeah. So I flew from Perth to Singapore to LA. And how long was that? Perth to Singapore was six hours, and I think to LA was 17. And how was it
Starting point is 01:05:06 it was all right yeah fun well i flew on like a football sunday and the plane had all the games on so oh yeah that was i watched march madness i watched the last day of the rider cup and then it went into football are you are you dan Ricciardo guy? Yeah. Yeah. He's from Perth, right? He is from Perth. And he's a Bills fan. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. No, big Danny Ricciardo. Yeah. Danny Ric. Is that just a coincidence? Or is there a reason people from Perth are Bills fans?
Starting point is 01:05:37 That's a coincidence. Just a coincidence. Yeah. Yeah. There's been plenty. Yeah. The drinking party drugs culture, pretty, pretty good. In Perth?
Starting point is 01:05:47 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Right on. Well, you said brothels are legal. Yeah. Legal and regulated.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Oh. Oh. Well, that's why they're safe. Yeah. Yeah. I only know from like, yeah, in traveling and people ask about it. I'm like, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:04 You've never been Yeah yeah You're in lining Yeah Those two kind of go handed Was that famous party dude From Perth Remember that
Starting point is 01:06:11 Oh he wouldn't take His sunglasses off Yeah he wouldn't take His sunglasses off Corey Yeah Oh you know that You find that video TJ
Starting point is 01:06:20 Oh that's a classic That's a classic Would you say that guy Was a good representation Of Australia Because that guy rocked. Yeah, kind of. Any young guy, yeah, probably.
Starting point is 01:06:31 How old are you, Travis? 32. Okay, so you're still a young guy. Ish, yeah. Ish. Yeah. Yeah. More than worth it.
Starting point is 01:06:41 Yeah. Where's he from? 2008? Yeah, that's that far ago? Melbourne. Oh, my God. The interview's so good. Yeah, play it. Where's he from? 2008? Yeah, that's that far ago. Melbourne. Oh, my God. The interview's so good. Yeah, play it.
Starting point is 01:06:49 It's the best. Play the interview. Oh, you got some sick tats. Oh, well, look at him now. What's he doing now? Yeah. MMA? This is so funny.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Well, it's the real life risky business. A teenager holds an alcohol-fueled party for hundreds of kids while his unsuspecting parents are on holiday. 16-year-old Corey Worthington is now facing not only the wrath of Mum and Dad, but a $20,000 fine from police. I spoke to him a short time ago. Corey, thanks for joining us. The only question that I can think to ask is,
Starting point is 01:07:20 what were you thinking? Um, I wasn't really. Did your parents say you could have a party? No. So why did you? I don't know, it was just a get together with a couple mates at first and then we thought we might as well just have a bit of a party and then it sort of just got out of hand and yeah. Well 500 people turned up the air wing of the police force the dog squad your neighbors cars were being destroyed what have your parents had to say Corey I haven't really talked to him because yeah I probably tried to kill me so that's a short-term strategy you're gonna have to have to talk to them eventually.
Starting point is 01:08:06 What are you going to say? Um, sorry. Are you? Uh, yeah, yeah, I am. You don't sound very sorry. But I can't be exactly blamed for everything that happened because it wasn't in the house, it was out in the street, and I didn't do it like the police said, you stay inside so you don't get in trouble, so I did what he said.
Starting point is 01:08:27 Why don't you take this opportunity now to apologise to your parents and to your neighbours who have said today that they were frightened? Well, I've already offered to say sorry to them and stuff when I see them, so I will say sorry now for everything that happened. Why don't you take your glasses off so we can see you and then apologise to your neighbours for frightening them. Nah, nah, I'll leave these on. They might be fined $20,000.
Starting point is 01:08:56 Are you going to try and pay that for them? Yeah, but I don't think it's fair they'll be fined it because what happened, it was my party, but it could have just been's fair that we find it because what happened, it was my party, but it could have just been any random person walking in the street doing it. It happens all the time. Your parents were out of town. You put out the invitation. You started it.
Starting point is 01:09:14 Why don't you make a grown-up decision now and accept responsibility, take off those glasses and apologise to everybody that you frightened, to the police who were forced to retreat and whose cars have been damaged, and to the police who were forced to retreat and whose cars have been damaged, and to the community who have had to pay for this. Take a few glasses and apologise to us. I'll say sorry, but I'm not taking off my glasses. Why not?
Starting point is 01:09:37 Because they're famous. Because your glasses are famous. Yeah. Why are your glasses famous I know everyone likes them sorry I'm not taking off that way you look in the attitude you know what everybody's like yeah that guy rocks so much I think he tried to start like a party planning company for like naturally yeah naturally school and stuff but yeah I'm sure he's doing good
Starting point is 01:10:05 how do they like Americans in Perth yeah good we don't get a lot it's a long way it's a long way yeah
Starting point is 01:10:13 okay but yeah you'll be fine okay it's a pretty multicultural city really a lot of aboriginal aboriginal people
Starting point is 01:10:23 yes yeah what does that mean what are they like native oh A lot of Aboriginal people? Yes. Yeah. What does that mean? What are they like? Native. Oh. They just blend in with everyone? Or is there like tribal?
Starting point is 01:10:34 No, they blend in. Yeah. No, it's all the same. They're like, yeah, yeah. I'll paint it up in loincloth. No, they don't walk around like that normally. But yeah, no, there's a few. There's not a heap
Starting point is 01:10:45 a lot of them live in more like the country areas but yeah yeah what's been your oh go ahead if you had friends coming to the US
Starting point is 01:10:53 everything you've done so far what place would you be like this is the spot you have to go this is the best so far New York's pretty mind blowing man yeah yeah that's probably one of my favourite places
Starting point is 01:11:03 okay so I was there like a week and it's I could you could easily spend a month there yeah there's so much going on but yeah the drive from vegas through to boulder was pretty amazing yeah yeah that's i wish i just filmed the whole thing but yeah the scenery that's pretty awesome yeah have you been filming have you been filming everything not as much as i should have i realized now like a month in but yeah it's good wait i got it here so you do you journal it do you watch the yak while you're mining yeah well that's because
Starting point is 01:11:35 i work night shift and stuff so it's on at like one in the morning in perth oh hell yeah when i'm on night shift do are there are there guys other guys that other guys that you work with that watch it with you? There's one other guy who's on like an opposite shift, but yeah, he watches it as well. Do you think he's watching right now? Maybe. What's his name? Reese. Reese, what's up, dude?
Starting point is 01:11:58 Shout out to boy Reese. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, maybe. Brandon saying hi to Reese back there. Brandon fucks with Reese. Hard. What words do you say in your accent that Americans laugh at? That was good.
Starting point is 01:12:12 That was pretty good. Beer made us pretty happy. Words with O? Say Zillow. Zillow? Yeah. I like that a lot. I fucking love that shit. We find a sentence with a shitload of O's in it. That's heroin.
Starting point is 01:12:28 Yeah. TJ, five, type up an O sentence. TJ, search funniest word for Australia. Yeah. Like, yeah. I don't know. The C word's a fun one that everyone gets me to say. You can say it.
Starting point is 01:12:42 Yeah, you can say it. The way it comes out with an American accent is it's just rough yeah you guys say it like what's up you cunts how you going cunt yeah it's so sweet he's a good guy you know he's a good guy he's a good cunt. Awesome. Brandon's still a good cunt. Did you hear that? Dude, he loves you. Sand groper, fine, okay to say. Sand groper?
Starting point is 01:13:14 Yes, that's a West Australian term. We call ourselves sand gropers. Western Australians. I couldn't even tell you what a sand groper is. I think it's like a little bug. But yeah, they're referred to West Australian people as sand gropers. i think it's like a little bug okay but yeah they're they're referred to west australian people as sand gropers so yeah do you guys do like american accents like we try to do aussie accents no like i was saying um well i forget who i was saying last night well all our media comes from america so you're just constantly consuming constantly consuming it so i don't
Starting point is 01:13:40 notice american accents at all really that's cool And then I don't think I sound different when I talk to people until they bring it up. Sorry. Is it annoying that every group you talk to is like, whoa, the way he just said beer. No, it's good. It's a cheat code. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:54 You probably get a lot of push. That's why I travel by myself. The way he just traveled the country. Yeah, dude. You haven't paid for a single hotel. You open your mouth and a girl's like, oh, yeah. He's a man of the world right now. He's like.
Starting point is 01:14:08 He really is. Just crazy. It wouldn't work that way for us if we went to Australia. People wouldn't be like, oh, that's, wow, that American accent is hot. It's funny. Yeah, they would. Oh, they would. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:20 All right. I'm coming with you. Let's go. Yeah. Now, Moog's going to clean up. Oh. Yeah. All right. I'm coming with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, let's clean up. Oh, yeah. No, it's not him.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Fuck. Oh, fuck. Come on. Shit. That was a great moment. Let's go. We'll just pretend. We'll pretend.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Yeah. You did good. But now you'll be fine. What have you got? Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. Twenty three hours. moment. We'll just pretend. You'll be good.
Starting point is 01:14:47 You'll be fine. What have you got? 23 hours? Yeah, give or take. I think it's like 36. Your flight on Monday isn't until the night. Yeah, like 11.30pm. March 11th. A couple days.
Starting point is 01:15:06 Plenty of time. Okay. This is going to be awesome. Yep. And now, Mook, you've broken the ice. Like, you know Travis is a regular guy. Yeah. Will touched his cock.
Starting point is 01:15:16 Yes, we're fine. How was the piece? No, it's good. What's the kangaroo situation like? They're just hopping around everywhere? No way. Are they like deer? Yeah, exactly the good. What's the kangaroo situation like? They're just hopping around everywhere? No way. Are they like deer? Yeah, exactly the same.
Starting point is 01:15:29 Really? I saw a video a few years ago of a guy punching a kangaroo in the face. I never stopped thinking about it when I came to Australia. Did you see the one the other day of the guy that the kangaroo tried to drown his dog? Yeah. What? No. Yes.
Starting point is 01:15:41 The kangaroo tried to drown his dog? There's dingoes. The kangaroo owned a you seen the shane stand up yeah yes oh yeah yeah okay yeah wait so what happened so kangaroos dingoes chasing which is like wild dogs in australia yeah but but so this kangaroo thought this dog was trying to do it wait the dog lives right the dog lives yeah i was gonna say what kangaro to do it. Wait, the dog lives, right? The dog lives, yeah. But what kangaroos do is they run into the water, get the dingo to swim out,
Starting point is 01:16:09 and then the kangaroos fall into the water. Holy shit. I'm going to punch your fucking head. Wait, wait, wait. We've got to hear this. We've got to hear this. What's a martial arts instructor do? He's a kangaroo.
Starting point is 01:16:21 What's a kangaroo do? I'm on his dog. I'm going to punch your fucking head in. Look at my dog. at all times The kangaroo smacked his phone into the river but really This Australian black belt couldn't stop laughing. Yeah, you don't mess with him, mate. Nothing scary as fuck. Even teasing the three dogs. TJ, go to him. They're not walking. It's likely. Anemia.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Have you ever been face to face with one? To where it's like, hey, I got to bulk up right now? Usually when they've got little joeys with them, the baby ones, you've got to just sort of be careful. Because there's always one big male with the group, usually. And if you're near them, they'll kind of stand up to you. So kangaroos are dangerous because like we all grew up being like kangaroos cutest thing ever yeah most of them are fine it just depends
Starting point is 01:17:11 the big mouths you don't really mess with have you ever seen one of the ripped ones yeah so i've seen some massive ones that are just especially by the side of the road yeah i mean they're beefcakes dude yeah they're huge damn they're jacked TJ I just sent you the one that uh yeah the dog one was great yeah the one that I the guy
Starting point is 01:17:32 never stopped thinking about you should get on a kangaroo protocol can you kill them? that was yeah that's what I wanted like are you allowed to hunt them? oh you do? oh no shit
Starting point is 01:17:41 yeah so Australia's the only country in the world this is a fun fact that our national crest has a kangaroo and an emu on it and you can shoot kill and eat both of those animals that is
Starting point is 01:17:50 pretty funny that's a fun fact yeah that'd be like us just like fucking what's kangaroo going nuts after bald eagles yeah what the kangaroo is pretty tough yeah it's fine yeah this
Starting point is 01:18:01 is the one that I've seen a million times this is the OG I can't get enough of. Yeah, let's go. Square up, motherfucker. Is that Stan? Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:18:14 I mean, fuck around and find out. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Holy shit. Dude, cameras are wild. Australia's insane. So are they like in a a Perth is a big city
Starting point is 01:18:26 are they like around not in the city that would be wild there's one in my holiday inn they're like raccoons I'll take you to a wildlife park yeah I know a good one
Starting point is 01:18:41 you want us to extend your stay you're going to fuck around and have the time of your life. Yeah, I know. I'm just going to show you the world, dude. I'm not even, yeah. I'm convinced it's real now. The craziest coincidence ever. It really is.
Starting point is 01:18:54 It's unbelievable. And it's, when you came to Chicago, were you like, oh, maybe I'll run into one of these guys? No, not really. Okay, yeah. I mean, I was sitting there yesterday and i've watched the yak and then you said about the comedy show so i bought a ticket and then ended up around the corner and yeah yeah it's all a big coincidence yeah that is fucking wild yeah i love it it's pretty crazy i've enjoyed everything you've said yeah i've been locked in like, this dude is really just traveling. Yeah. Yeah. Can you say Zillow again?
Starting point is 01:19:25 Zillow. Robocop. Robocop. Say beer again. Beer. Yeah. That's good. Say deer rifle.
Starting point is 01:19:33 Deer rifle. Oh. I just came. Yeah, it is. We're so dumb. Game over. But if the child's got an old fella, that's going to make it a little difficult
Starting point is 01:19:47 if that person's trying to get into the ladies' cubicles and the like. I mean, at school, I don't know that they're going to be... Well, that's the new era, Basil. Get into it. It's the new era. If I subscribe to being a girl, I'm a girl. No, you don't. No. No. Wrong. Wrong. No, no. You're either male girl. No, you don't. No. No. Wrong. Wrong. If you've got a penis. You're either male.
Starting point is 01:20:06 Exactly. Or you're female. If you've got a penis, mate, you're a bloke. If you've got a vagina, you're a woman. Not necessarily. Game over. Game over. Game over.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Game over. Yeah. Game over. Yeah, nah. He's a flogger Yeah Oh man Yeah not a good representation of us
Starting point is 01:20:32 Not big cans of basil But that's alright Yeah You could probably meet him He's just around the place Okay He's just around What?
Starting point is 01:20:42 Perth's not that big We can find him We can Okay I think you gotta do Hunting for Basil Hunting for I'm in Yeah It's just a wrap What? It's not that big We can find him We can Okay I think you gotta do Hunting for Basil Hunting for I'm in
Starting point is 01:20:49 Yeah I thought you said Mate him And I was like I have to fuck Basil Game over Game over We're making history
Starting point is 01:21:00 Yeah This is gonna rule Okay You're in for streaming tonight steven you're gonna have to sit next to travis front row cool i love it am i okay with that we're sitting next to steven it'll be good right yeah well are you gonna be off how seriously do you take the bills pretty seriously okay good that's what i want i want it yeah yeah like you'll be pissed if they lose this game he might get mad if i ask him stupid questions and stuff will you
Starting point is 01:21:31 no you should ask him i'm giving you free reign to bother him okay i'm a friendly guy oh that was a threat. He's menacing. Yeah, no, Stephen, yeah. His brain, I mean, you know, you watch the Yak. Yeah. You've seen it. It's brilliant. I don't know if brilliant would be the word, but yeah. What's the main difference with Australian football and American football?
Starting point is 01:22:01 Oh, so much. Yeah? Yeah. So Australian football doesn't stop at all. It's like australian football more like rugby not really we don't throw the ball that's the main thing is we don't throw the ball we pass it by like kicking and hand passing which is you like punch it off your hand we know how to throw it is like the number one rule you can't throw the ball and is that for injuries is that because of getting hit how you, it's just how you do it. Oh.
Starting point is 01:22:26 So you... In football? It's a 360 game. So basically the game starts, the guy throws the ball up in the middle and I think the field's like double the length. Yeah. So this is the grand final.
Starting point is 01:22:36 So it's... Oh shit. This is Australian football? So I played this until a few years ago. Oh no. Oh, you played? Yeah. I used to gamble on this. What? Yeah. So you kick it through the middle without six points. Oh, you played? Yeah. I used to gamble on this.
Starting point is 01:22:45 What? Yeah, over COVID. So you kick it through the middle without six points? When's the season? During our winter. So it starts in April. So he's just kicked that. That's a goal.
Starting point is 01:22:56 So that's six points. Chet just said, yo, this shit sucks. Oh, no. This is what American football is going to become if they don't ban the tush push. Look up AFL big hits if you want to see something. Oh, let's go. TJ, put that picture I just sent you up on the screen too, real quick,
Starting point is 01:23:14 before you look up big hits. I mean, that football is more like rugby than real football. Yeah, it doesn't. I think the main difference is it doesn't stop, really. Like until the goal is kicked. It just keeps going. It's like a mix of rugby and soccer so you can get hit from any direction are American football players tougher than rugby players?
Starting point is 01:23:31 what's that Travis? what that is? you want me to say jello? well what color is it though? yellow and what is it? jello yellow jello
Starting point is 01:23:41 that's a good one that's a good one that's a good one okay yeah I want to see AFL big hits yeah there'll be a good compilation so there's no pads
Starting point is 01:23:52 no helmets no nothing oh I didn't even notice that wear little shorts and a singlet yeah and go for it why do you need
Starting point is 01:23:58 yeah that's real football baby yeah bye oh man yeah that was a knee to the head yes it was just was that legal yeah oh not really okay so anyway anything between their like shoulder and the knee is cool will would be out for the year so there's some oh so you can that's called a hip and shoulder so someone's chasing someone else.
Starting point is 01:24:26 Oh my god. They're not that big of guys. Our field is gigantic. He's paralyzed. Can you say you got jacked up? Oh, that's a big boy. Rigor mortis. So he just caught that. Mortis. Wait, that's a punch. Shit. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:24:46 So he just caught that. Yeah. Oh, my God. So it's pretty fast-paced and doesn't stop. And you guys, Perth has a pro team? Yeah, we've got two. Oh, no. Oh, God. You said this sucks, Che?
Starting point is 01:25:01 Che. Yeah, the highlights we were watching before was just punting through uprights so yeah yeah that's all it is we punt the ball
Starting point is 01:25:09 to each other and move it down the field has there been like a concussion scandal with this yeah yeah there's been a few
Starting point is 01:25:15 so they're sorting it out now but obviously they don't they don't wear helmets and stuff sorting it out now you could work for Roger Goodell like with the way you describe that like yeah listen you guys have been killing themselves for sorting it out all that stuff people would get suspended for like weeks now okay okay yeah they're trying to cut it all out yeah
Starting point is 01:25:37 targeting that's that sport rules but yeah if you watch the game live it's pretty nice yeah yeah who's your favorite player on the bills besides Josh Allen he's like Knox yeah tight end he's not playing that much yeah Gabe Davis is cool buddy yeah I'm gonna put I'm gonna bet on him to score a touchdown yeah I'm to parlay both quarterbacks. To do what? To rush a touchdown. Oh. That would be a nice payout. Hey, Brandon.
Starting point is 01:26:10 You good back there, Brandon? I'm good. Brandon, come take my seat. Come take my seat. Brandon's confused that he's not from here but still looks like us. Mm-hmm. There is a mic right next to him. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:29 Talk to the mic. Brandon wasn't in a talkative mood at all today. He wasn't. See, what did you do in Mostly Sports? I think Brandon's sleepy. You guys did a long show. I don't want to get into it. How long was it?
Starting point is 01:26:41 The first 15 minutes didn't actually happen. Talk about it, Mark. It's not really something we need to talk about. Whoa. Whoa, what was that? That's powerful. I have a mic. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:50 What happened? Nothing worked for 20 minutes. We're set to go live at 9 a.m. At 9.01, someone walks into our studio. It was literally 9.01. I looked at the clock and flipped the fuck out. Someone walked in and turned off all the lights. Not as a prank. You think it was me yeah like if you would have done it it's funny
Starting point is 01:27:08 it was like one of the guys that's like supposed to be fixing all the shit and he walks in and just turns off all the lights and then I was like we're we're just like yeah uh you have mincey on them yeah then they the tj plays the intro which is like 10 seconds long. So it's like the little intro video. We're halfway through that. Then like 10 guys come in, turn on the lights. I start talking to welcome everyone into the show. And then they like all walk out of the thing at the same time. Like half the lights are on, half of them aren't.
Starting point is 01:27:38 I don't know. It was like a whole fucking mess. And then Pete's like, Barstool difference. So that's why you're in a bad mood, Brandon? I'm not in a bad mood. I was just saying, we got a lot of people talking today. I just wasn't hearing them in line. Brandon, he asked you a question.
Starting point is 01:27:53 Can you answer for us? Well, I'm not in a bad mood. I was just. Brandon, Big Cat asked, are you in a bad mood? Maybe I'll go with the mic in there. You can't. I don't think he wants to talk. He doesn't want to talk today.
Starting point is 01:28:05 He doesn't. He gets in these moods. Oh, no. Brandon. I'm not in a bad mood. I was just talking. Oh, there he is. I didn't want people to think I was letting everybody else talk.
Starting point is 01:28:17 Brandon, is it maybe the Zoloft has finally kicked in? Oh. I don't want to talk about the Zoloft. Okay. Sorry. No, he's been chill. He's been cool. No, I know.
Starting point is 01:28:27 Is he too chill? It makes me pee a lot. It makes him pee a lot. Yeah. TJ, can you pull up side effects of a Zoloft? I know one. Yeah, how's your cock been? My wife's mad about it.
Starting point is 01:28:38 Really? Is that happening? I'm just saying to get back to where I need to be, I might have to get off of it What do we got here? Nausea? Loss of appetite? Yeah Sexual problems Agitation? Failure?
Starting point is 01:28:53 All of that All of that checks out The sexual problems could be you're not getting your tit pics of the day Yeah We gotta get those back Fight through it I'm working on myself. I'm okay.
Starting point is 01:29:07 You haven't been agitated. I'm just working on myself. I know. You've been very calm. You've been chill, yeah. Yeah, but when I'm calm and don't say anything, y'all say, why is he not talking? Well, no. I said that, and then I realized that maybe it's not a bad thing.
Starting point is 01:29:19 Do you want to get a dick pill? Oh. Do you have a dick pill? Yeah, we can get some blue chew. I don't need a dick pill. It might be awesome. Do dick pills counteract that? pill. Oh. Do you have a dick pill? I could find you a dick pill. I don't need a dick pill. It might be awesome. Do dick pills counteract that? Probably.
Starting point is 01:29:29 Probably, yeah. Yeah, I guess they do. But will they give me anxious thoughts again? Yeah, it sounds like that. No, no, you'll be too busy being horny. Then you just double up the Zoloft. Hell yeah. And then just keep taking more pills.
Starting point is 01:29:39 Pile more on. Yeah, double up the Zoloft. Just keep adding more. Just double the Zoloft. What if Brandon just needs a fluffer before every show? Yeah. You just need a fluffer, Brandon. Somebody come fluff me.
Starting point is 01:29:50 I'll fluff you. I would too. Anybody else? Travis? Oh. Yeah, man. Okay. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 01:29:59 It's the lace up in there. All right. Well, should we spin the wheel? I really hope we get something that Travis has to do. Yep, that would be great. Are you excited, Travis? Yeah, pretty pumped, actually. Do we have mouse traps?
Starting point is 01:30:12 Yes. Yes, Steven. We might have to buy TJ a new chair. These chairs suck. Say it again. We might have to buy TJ a new chair. These chairs suck. I keep saying it to Pete over and over again.
Starting point is 01:30:21 These chairs suck. Pete, these chairs suck. We had $1,700 chairs in New York. These are like $50 Amazon chairs. Well, that made you sound needy. No. We're good. Dry.
Starting point is 01:30:36 That's about it. All right, so Travis, you see tonight? You can get Steven's number. He doesn't have service yet. So how did you get Instagram? You're traveling across the country without a phone. I mean, if I have to,
Starting point is 01:30:55 I'll figure it out. How'd you get... So you don't have a phone? I got like data. On your phone you have a... What's going on in there? You're voriously laughing. Brandon just got a door slammed into him.
Starting point is 01:31:10 That's funny. That is very funny. That is very funny. Okay, well, we'll figure it out. And we'll... Yeah, so Travis will be on the stream tonight sitting next to Stephen Che in a Bill's shirt. Who else is on the stream?
Starting point is 01:31:22 Will... I'm going to miss the first half because I'm going to go to a dinner with Dave and then PFT Kyle Long Jerry. You're Nick. You're going, right? Yeah, Nick, you come. I'll come. Yeah, sorry. So Nick will make sure that Travis, you're set.
Starting point is 01:31:37 Perfect. Oh, man, this is going to be great. I'll roll through. Yeah. Double touchdowns. I was trying to decide if I wanted to. He didn't acknowledge the point until he made up his mind. All right, yeah. Travis, you're a good cunt. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:53 No. Good cunt. Wait, that didn't sound bad at all. That was good. Excellent cunt. It was a good time. Yeah. Great cunt.
Starting point is 01:31:59 You're allowed to say it. Can you say that dessert one more time? Yellow Jell-O. Yeah. You're a fucking good guy, dude. One dial. One dial. That's all it takes.
Starting point is 01:32:09 Do you guys say, like, motherfucker over there? Yeah. Like, you fucker. Motherfucker. Okay. That's a little too consonant heavy. That wasn't a little, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 01:32:19 Let's picture something else. Well, Travis, we'll see you tonight. Yeah. Yeah. And you're the man, dude. Yeah. You're the man. You're the boy. Yeah. All Yeah. And you're the man, dude. Yeah. You're the man. You're the boy.
Starting point is 01:32:26 Yeah. All right. See everyone tonight. Cheers, camp. Cheers. It's the act. It's the act. Yes, I'm a talk shop. Doing Yankee's love. It's the act.
Starting point is 01:32:52 It's the act. See you tomorrow, cunts. Fuck, that was so bad. Thank you.

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