The Yak - Move Over Masters, FootGolf is Here | The Yak 4-6-23
Episode Date: April 6, 2023Nicky's a bad boyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, everyone.
Hello.
What's up?
Hello.
It's the Yak.
Live.
No sass today.
No sass.
Sad.
He was on a heater, too.
Yeah.
It was on a heater. kind of leaving him wanting more.
Yeah.
The brightest flames.
Yeah, he had to do some stuff for the move the day after his birthday.
Yeah.
The guy who doesn't own anything had to do some stuff for the move.
After he had a couple comedy shows.
Dick ride.
Get off his dick.
It was four high noons deep when he left. I'm just deeply jealous because I was out with him last night at his shows,
and I understand why he didn't come in.
I'm a little bit hungover, too.
I got my finger caught in a door.
Oh, no.
Turn your black.
Turn me black.
You are the worst.
Damn, dude.
I was trying to one 100th black.
I know.
It's awesome. What kind of door? Say it. Damn, dude. I was trying to one 100th black. I know. It's awesome.
What kind of door?
Say it.
No, don't say it.
By the way, we did right before we went live.
Yeah, that's true.
That was my one time.
By the way, we're sponsored by Roback.
Roback's our presenting sponsor.
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I'm just wearing Roback all the time.
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It was actually funny when Roback came on as a presenting sponsor.
They're like, would it be okay if someone wore some piece of Roback once a week?
I was like, boys.
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What was I going to say?
Fuck.
We're at critical mass right now in this office of people taking dumps.
I just went from bathroom to bathroom.
Every bathroom is full.
Every men's bathroom is full of dudes taking dumps. I just went from bathroom to bathroom. Every bathroom is full. Every men's bathroom is full of dudes taking dumps.
And there's lines.
I've never seen people lining up.
I waited behind Jeff pissing.
People have been shitting way more, it seems like.
Yeah, people have been shitting more.
I don't know.
It was Tommy and Rudy shitting when I went in there.
Do you think AI has something to do with it?
Probably.
Absolutely.
I'm just trying to think.
Yeah.
AI, chat GPT or some shit.
I think I scare the shit out of them all the time,
because when I go into the other bathroom,
I don't use my hands to try to open the stall.
I just fucking go, boom.
Yeah.
It's always locked.
It's just the loudest.
So it's unlocked, but somebody is in there.
Yeah.
Just fucking smash it.
Upstairs, too.
Every bathroom upstairs
What are those fucking nerds doing?
What do they have to shit about?
Nothing
It's gotta be the AI
Everybody's on flat tummy tea
That's probably what it is
I'm back on my Spanx
Are you?
Yeah
You do look slim
You do
Wow
Wow
You really are
Is it comfortable?
Uh no Not at all Not at all But You do. Wow. Wow. You really are. Is it comfortable? No.
Not at all.
Not at all.
But as is tradition, right around this time, we watch the Masters,
and my tradition is T-shirt weather sneaks up on me.
I'm hoping to get the flu.
Yeah, that would be nice.
Then tapeworm.
Can you just buy a tapeworm and kind of pump it in?
20s they used to.
People have done that. I would do it.
Like when people would get when the cure to everything was just leeches.
Yeah. That was when science
rocked. Bloodletting.
You're wealthy enough to get on Ozempic.
I am going to someday.
I might have one.
You have a tapeworm?
I...
You lucky dog.
I don't know about that.
I mean, it's been pretty terrible.
I haven't been able to keep down, like, even liquids for, like, four days.
Whoa.
Been throwing them up?
Ew.
Nope.
Oh, God.
I'm like, don't.
Get it off this page.
Ugh.
I don't like worms.
Ugh.
You don't like worms?
No.
Who likes worms?
I love worms. Brandon. Oh, you love worms. I like worms. You don't like worms? No. Who likes worms? I love worms.
Brandon.
Oh, you love worms.
I love worms.
We used to go worming.
Three days sober.
Three days off?
A little stick in the mud.
I realized I don't even know if I like Zen.
I love it.
And worms.
Big worm guy.
Zen and worms, the two best things.
KB, you're not sober though Off the zen
Yeah I was with you
Last night
It's actually crazy to think
How cool
You guys went out
You went out with him
I went to the stand
We saw Francis perform
How was it
He was pretty good
Yeah
Very good at comedy
Did he
He changed some shit up
And it's a lot better.
It was always good, but he's getting better.
Hell yes.
Yeah, he's awesome.
He crushed it.
I didn't see Sass perform, though.
No, didn't wait for him.
That's too late.
He was killing me, though.
He was cracking me up all night, all day.
Sass, he's been funny.
I did see his John Mulaney joke.
That was funny.
His John Mulaney joke is good.
One of the best.
Who was saying it?
One of the best remakes. Sass saying it? One of the best remakes.
I watched the original.
Sass is one of the
best covers, I think. Ever.
Why can't you do cover of comedy?
It's like landslide.
But like telling a joke
is just cover of comedy. Like knowing
a joke, having a joke up your sleeve that you could just
tell, that's just like covering someone else's joke.
We should put out a cover album.
We should. Or a karaoke
bar where you just say other people's jokes.
Like Mitch Hedberg is the main comedian that
that happens to. Everyone
has their one Hedberg joke.
Full ass booth in there.
Yeah. Hello. Hi.
It's kind of crazy not to...
Oh, they don't fuck with you at all, Kate.
I know. That was a delayed wave.
What the hell?
A guy in the t-shirt on the right.
No, one next to him.
You.
All time.
He was like, I walked by and he's like, Big Cat, I was going to bring you something, but I didn't.
I was like, cool, man.
Easy gets crazy.
That sounds awesome.
Maybe next time.
What was it?
It was a
Mitch Trubisky
pencil holder
or signed
Mitch Trubisky
pencil holder
bears helmet.
But I might
start doing that
just being like
I had the
perfect gift
for you and
I just didn't
bring it.
I gave him
kind of credit.
I was like
thanks man.
Thanks for
thinking of me.
You'll get it. Yeah I'll get it
It'll be here in
Five to ten business days
Five to ten
You don't have a watch sir
You just looked at your watch
That's not there
Son of a bitch
You're not getting it
You got here a week too late
You could have had a brick
I was gonna say though
Back to the worms
It's kind of crazy how
Dennis Rodman
Like he's so cool He made the worm a cool nickname
yeah that's hard to do i can't believe he even tried right like if you called someone a worm
that's there's nothing but negative connotations they were trying to push push worms always bad
yeah earthworm jim you know earthworm jim the old guy. Wasn't he like a superhero? Yeah.
No.
What was he?
He was a video game.
He was a video game character.
They were going to war with the other worms.
Dumb slut.
I think he could use a bazooka. I am a bit of a dumb slut.
Yeah, you're a dumb slut.
Such a dumb fucking slut.
Rowan had me dying.
Oh man, he might be a superhero, but I don't... I'm going to say it. I don't think he's a worm. Now who's a dumb slut. Such a dumb fucking slut. Rowan had me dying yesterday. Oh, man, he might be a superhero, but I don't...
I'm going to say it.
I don't think he's a worm.
Ah, now he's a dumb slut.
He doesn't count as...
I am.
Dumb sluts.
Huh.
I don't think he counts as a worm.
I think he absolutely does.
His arms and legs.
Robotic.
I missed the earthworm, Jim.
When was this?
Late 90s thing?
Remember Toe Jam and Earl?
I used to love that game.
Oh, yeah, we have Mincy coming on in 10 minutes.
For what?
Just a little update pre-race pump-up.
Getting ready.
Race tomorrow or Saturday.
Saturday morning, I want to say.
It's supposed to be rain.
It's a nice, wet Mincy.
You said it's raining, but luckily no humidity.
So are we going to be able to watch?
It's 100%.
It is 100% humidity.
That is a lot of humidity.
You can't get more humid than rain.
You had 100% humidity last night.
There's no visibility on the...
I was supposed to go up to the edge, that giant ledge.
Oh, it's foggy as fuck.
Visibility was at zero.
I had to reschedule.
Damn.
No idea what the city looks like.
I might as well...
I just was on a patio.
Might as well have been.
Yeah.
A windy-ass patio.
Ground level.
We have...
TJ told me that we're going to do bowling separate from the case race.
I'll still be shit-faced.
We just got to figure out a way to make bowling fun.
You got to black out.
Responsibly.
Bowling in and of itself
is fun don't you think
yeah
I think bowling's fun
I'm gonna try to get
some spin on that bitch
yeah we'll make a whole
show a bowling episode
but so
they should combine
bowling and mini golf
so there's like
18 lanes
but they're loops
and
oh that would be cool
yeah
huh
oh no
oh
that's that Philly Stones
game I was telling you about
it's bocce but it's mini golf
it's on 18 holes it's like was telling you about. It's bocce, but it's mini golf. It's on 18 holes.
It's like foot golf.
You ever played foot golf?
Sock?
It's golf with football.
Yeah, no, I've seen that.
Feel like the biggest loser of all time.
Oh, yeah, I've played.
Oh, no.
You just feel like such a shithead.
Why?
Because you can't kick the ball so good?
You just look goofy as fuck.
And the holes are really big, and you've got to just kick a ball.
It's goofy as fuck.
Look at these guys.
It feels like people look, if you see a foot golfer, you're like,
oh, is something wrong with these guys?
Is the U.S. Open?
No, this is awesome.
It's a good putt.
Listen, it might be awesome to watch, but when you're playing it,
you don't feel good about yourself. Yeah, it doesn't. It looks a good putt. Listen, it might be awesome to watch, but when you're playing it, you don't feel good about yourself.
Yeah, it doesn't.
It looks so goofy.
Who is that right now?
That's Yusuke Tachibini.
Have you seen soccer ping pong?
Yes, that's awesome.
That looks cool.
Oh, did he make this?
No way.
Oh.
Oh.
I want to see it drive.
Yeah, I got it. A lot of putting.
They all seem bad at it.
18th, let's go.
To the 18th we go.
They definitely have the sprinklers on because they're like, no one's playing.
Nobody's, yeah.
Who's winning?
Wow, they have a lot of countries.
Yeah.
This is another, like, how did you get into this?
Look at this guy's hair.
Is that PFT? This is the women a woman no i think that's a man on the side these are no women williams oh this is a this is a woman big time there's a woman right now we're looking at yeah a left i i would be damned
wait oh you can't wind up the drive oh oh she's she's laying up. What a pussy.
What a piece of shit classless pussy.
That was boring.
There's controversy going in the foot golf.
We should do that.
I bet you they're very prideful
and they're already pissed off.
Why wouldn't you kick that over there?
Oh, because I have to go over the water.
Oh.
Just fucking bomb it.
Are they not allowed to wind up?
This is a lame sport.
This is terrible.
This is as goofy and lame as you can get.
This is the last, this is the worst sport.
It's.
This might be the worst.
What?
What's worse?
Is it called foot golf?
Foot golf.
Because it's. Are's worse? Is it called foot golf? Foot golf. Because it's...
They got, I guess, former soccer players, obviously.
Can we see them kick it over the water?
It's just people who can't golf.
Here they go.
They're taking forever.
So they can wind up.
Okay.
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you do that to start?
Because she barely made it over the water.
That's true.
I want to see one of these go in the drink.
Yeah, please.
Yeah, it's not like golf balls where you have a sleeve of them.
Oh, nice kick.
No.
We do this instead of bowling.
That would suck if you lost your ball.
Yeah.
You're right.
You can't really carry.
Oh, that was awesome.
That was a laser.
Jordan Nichols.
Italian.
This is obviously just a golf course.
People don't build special soccer courses. Yeah, I think they're golf courses.
They just make the holes really big.
Can we see?
I want to see the dudes just rip one.
I can't imagine being a cameraman for that.
No.
How do you get?
Yeah.
You wind up on assignment for that.
Are you finding foot golf, KB?
Yeah.
I'm looking at the rankings now.
We got Angel Reyes in the lead.
He has 1,000.
Is this going on live?
No.
I don't know.
I don't know if this is 2022.
Wait, these guys?
These guys are laying up too?
It looked like he was doing something else with his hands.
Can someone please just...
He was just texting.
Yeah, he was.
You know it's a real sport when you can text,
yeah, honey, I'm just wrapping up 18.
Do they have shin guards on?
Are the socks mandatory?
Yeah, do they have shin guards?
Can you look up, like, foot golf fails?
Yeah.
Best foot golf fails 2021, too.
It'd be fun if there was, like, one defender on the hole.
When you watch Frisbee golf, right?
Like, that's cool because there'll be shots that, like, holy shit,
that guy just threw a Frisbee 400 yards.
I think it's impossible to get a cool shot on this.
Is that guy in jeans?
The top international athlete.
Oh.
These guys, they don't.
I'm looking at his Instagram now.
He also plays foot volleyball.
So these guys just do whatever they can.
They're footmen.
Footmen.
Foot soldiers.
I think it's kind of sweet.
These guys definitely have no other skill.
TJ, I want to see the longest foot golf drive.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Oh, on the fringe.
Old people doing stuff makes me nervous.
Uh-oh.
He's got it.
Oh, he's going to fall in the hole. Uh-oh. Oh, no stuff makes me nervous. Uh-oh. He's got it. Oh, he's going to fall in the hole.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
He just sucks.
Uh-oh.
Oh, goofy grandpa.
Goofy grandpa.
You're on cringe mode, though.
Goofy grandpa alert.
Oh, no.
Boop, boop, boop.
All right.
Oh.
Oh.
That's just dribbling.
Yeah, that's a fail.
That's how bad the sport is.
That was the number two fail.
Yeah.
I just want to see one drive bombed or a hole-in-one.
Nothing doing.
Not golf.
Not golf.
A lot of golf here.
World champion.
Oh, there we go.
Like, I think that might be the one.
I feel like every sport, no matter how rare, still has its groupies.
I feel like this might be the one.
No.
It doesn't.
Not every sport has groupies.
No?
No.
Oh.
Even, like, some of the bigger ones.
Some of, like, maybe even the first one. What was that? First one ever. Singlet chasers don't exist? Oh. Oh. Even like some of the bigger ones. Some of like maybe even the first one.
What was that?
First one ever.
Singlet chasers don't exist?
No.
No.
There's got to be wrestling.
In 2013, there were singlet chasers.
Not anymore.
No?
What happened?
I don't know.
It just fell off.
How many singlet chasers?
What was the max?
Like how many were there at one point in time?
I don't know.
I've never met one.
Under 100 in the country? I'd do it. It's just girls who wrestle. was the max like how many were there at one point in time i don't know i've never met one under 100
in the country i do it just it's just girls who wrestle oh but like back in the day like greco
roman wrestling those that was oh yeah in the middle in russia and yeah iran yeah cleaned up
now that was big in the news this year like i feel like those guys probably got some DMs. Huge interview coming.
Everyone subscribe to Barstool Wrestling.
7 p.m. tonight.
Very exciting.
Spencer Lee, first ever interview after he lost.
Yeah, I mean, he was talking.
There's maybe not a pairing I love more than KB and Jerry.
The two of you together just makes me laugh.
You don't even have to say anything. If I just looked at you guys, I'd laugh. It's great. It exists. Like, you don't even have to say anything.
If I just looked at you guys, I'd laugh.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that's how funny you guys are.
We just look at you and we smile.
That's how I am.
Oh, yeah.
So you walk in, laugh.
Even if you're trying to, like, look cool.
I'll laugh.
I know.
I'll laugh.
I realized that early in life.
Jerry a good wrestler?
Jerry?
I don't think he wrestles.
Jerry Jones?
I think he just loves wrestling.
Yeah.
What?
We didn't know.
There was no antics, no jokes, not even a single bit of tomfoolery.
It was all serious.
You said Spencer Lee was your hero.
My childhood hero.
You're older.
Yeah.
Seven years.
Seven years, yeah.
I was looking up to him.
Yeah, his childhood hero.
I need a younger hero.
Yeah. Baby Gronk I need a younger hero. Yeah.
Baby drunk.
Sass.
Any college athlete.
Oh, here we go.
Woo!
Oh, get in the hole.
Oh, get it!
Get it!
Get in the hole.
Yeah! Wow. So that's the peak right there. That's about it. Get in the hole.
Wow.
So that's the peak right there.
That's about it.
And they're all wearing those socks. The crowd goes mild.
That's the pinnacle right there of foot golf.
That was the dude I was looking at.
Yeah, pure.
That was pretty good.
Yeah, Manal.
That was really good.
That's a good shot.
You got to be the best at something, I guess.
You should play some foot golf.
See, now you've come around.
Did you get the backpack, TJ?
Pete's against it.
What?
Why?
He says that there's better ways to do that, and it would look bad.
I said, if we want to do something without having to set up a bunch of cameras
and computer equipment,
that's an easy solution.
What's an easier solution?
Such a dick. What is this?
He's on the phone. He's such a dick, Pete.
The backpack that we can stream.
Like when we go to Hibachi.
Yeah.
Yeah, put him through.
He's live.
Mincy.
How we doing, fellas?
What's up, fella?
Oh.
Oh.
Everything okay?
Yeah, it sounded a little dark.
Everything is okay.
I feel good.
How are y'all?
Oh, good.
Hell yeah.
Pretty good, man.
I'm coming down to New Orleans pretty soon.
Are you?
Yeah, man.
Maybe some restaurant recommendations or something?
Oh, I think we can do it.
You had a good time with the Po'boy ones
a couple years ago, right?
Sir.
Killer Po'boys, Bon Me Boys,
Domilice, Parasol.
I'll send you...
You'll be getting a text from me
right when we get done with this, man.
Fantastic, brother.
Appreciate you, my brother.
So, how are we feeling?
We're feeling good.
So the one dynamic that's going to be interesting, and I'm all about it
because I always say there's no place to get wild in the rain like New Orleans.
We're looking at a pretty gnarly weather report for Saturday morning.
But it went from 99% rain to 75%.
But, like, you know what?
I don't give a damn if it's raining hard.
What I was worried about it
was 85 in cubit so a little what it's the high 74 a little water ain't gonna hurt me but i think it
should make the content quite interesting if we're dealing with like sideways rain okay it'd be
pretty funny so speaking of content are we videoing this so i've got my producer we're doing like a
log a video log about the morning, the pre-race.
He's at the start.
He's going to catch me in the middle,
and then he's going to be in City Park at the end.
But then I've also got people all over the course looking for me
that are going to be tagging me and stuff.
I want you in a GoPro, though.
Okay, well, I've got it.
So, okay, I'm going to ask my pacer to wear a GoPro
because we've got a GoPro I just got this week.
So I think the move is to ask the guy that's running with me that's going to have a camera on me.
So I think that may be the way to go on that.
All right, so he's going to have a camera on his back that will just face you?
Yeah, well, I've got to ask him, but I think he'll do it.
All right, I want that, and I want that footage instantly because we want to—
Live, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if you can go live from the GoPro,
but we want it so we can review the tape on Monday's Yak.
Okay.
The race is set, so 8 a.m. Central start Saturday morning on the race.
All right.
So should you announce if you did it or not, or should we wait and watch it?
I think people will spoil it if the
only thing about it is i've got something set up with our lovely sponsors raising pains where i've
got canes gear i'm wearing and there's a box of fried canes chicken strips waiting on me at the
finish line and i do think there could be a very viral video at the end here okay okay that's fine
very viral we just want that footage though and then like i said
to you in new orleans or louisiana um by the way did you guys know mincy drives at night on the
highway you do i assumed scary you got lacing yeah yeah how is your vision man so the the vision
thing i was like legally blind in my right eye my entire life like I was a fat kid huge glasses and the week
before I got hired by Barstool on a ESPN Baton Rouge radio trade I got LASIK done in Baton Rouge
and like and then I got hired by Barstool the next week so it was like kind of like a metaphor for
new vision in life I guess but yeah it's been great you. What a heater of a week. So, wait, how did you get it?
Trade?
Yeah, well, like Blake Williamson, who's like the leading LASIK eye surgeon in South Louisiana,
he's done like Devin White and a lot of the LSU guys.
But he was a sponsor of the radio show.
I was working for it.
He was like, hey, instead of me paying you, I'm going to give you and the host free LASIK,
and y'all can like talk about it, you know?
All right. Yeah. Good deal. you i'm going to give you and the host free lasik and y'all can like talk about it you know all right yeah so the deal and so we we hit him for the lasik and then i i guess you know i guess he's getting his payback with me mentioning on the act but i wasn't around bad roots long after it
okay so mincy what i was saying uh to you in louisiana does hold true if you do not complete
it i will give you a redemption on a track i think think you're coming up to New York for the draft.
So you accept, right?
You will do a live.
We'll set it up, and we want to watch you run on the Yak one day.
Okay.
Well, that's Thursday night, April 27th.
But, man, I hadn't been to the office since mid-January,
so I'm going to try to come up there like Tuesday at the latest
and try to do three or four days in there.
Okay, so we'll see if you complete it on Sunday,
and if you don't, that will be the plan.
Yeah, Saturday, not Sunday.
Saturday.
Yeah.
Okay, so you're feeling good, though.
I feel good.
So where I'm at, I'm pretty transparent with everything, as always.
So yesterday, I've been way more – people are criticizing me.
People are always going to criticize me, though.
The sky is blue and other things.
But I have always been able to run distance, like, long, not a problem.
Like, not fast, though.
You know, I could run 12-minute miles forever.
So I've been way more worried in my training about getting those 920 and 930 miles
because that's not what i'm used to than i am about the distance so the longest training run
i did was four miles but people are i mean i am not worried about the 6.2 i'm worried
about that the race is basically going to be one in the first three miles i'll be running under 930
like 920 930 the first three miles that'll give me leeway the last three miles I'll be running under 930, like 920, 930, the first three miles.
That'll give me leeway the last three miles to where I can run 950 to 10
and still get there.
So what's the fastest you ran four miles?
Yeah.
37 to 40.
Oh, that's pretty fast.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, conveniently.
I mean, that might have been a training video that I'm mentioning now,
but I didn't really mention that when it happened.
But that was the one where I've been feeling pretty confident.
That's a nine-minute.
Was that on a treadmill?
No, it was outside.
It was like 10 days ago on Wednesday at Audubon.
It was a good weather morning with the breeze and no humidity.
Now, if anyone rolls a skateboard under your feet, that is allowed.
Yeah, I don't know.
Sure.
I don't know what to think.
Okay, there we go.
I feel like people aren't hateful enough to like, you know,
I don't think the Yak's going to come down here
and have obstacle courses on this run by Saturday, I hope.
I'm just going to say this.
If we have any Yak fans that are in New Orleans,
I think all of us are hoping that Mincy doesn't do it this time
so we can watch him do it live on the Yak.
If you want to just go give the guy a hug.
Go hug him.
While he's running.
Chat him up a little bit.
Just jump in and give him a hug.
Also, a friend of Barstool, Snow Like John, is running this too with no training.
He ran 75 minutes last year.
I don't think he's trying to go under 60 minutes,
but he'll be out there making an appearance here.
I need him to slow you down.
Okay, I'll talk to him.
Yeah, I fucking love that guy.
Get him some red beans and rice.
He's running with a cigarette.
I know him.
I'm going to offer him a bounty to run in front of you
and slow you down.
Why did I mention this?
What was I thinking?
I always make my own great like
i shouldn't have even mentioned that
mince do you ever uh wake up with mincey test show tomorrow so we we're gonna not go full test
but where graphics are finished we're gonna go in there and kind of do like a soft trial run
tomorrow so not a test though yeah so i mean it's not a full test but we're gonna be going to go in there and kind of do like a soft trial run tomorrow. So not a test though.
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's not a full test, but we're going to be ready to go.
I kind of, I don't know.
I feel like the organized train wreck of it's going to kind of be the beauty of it.
Because I'm trying to, what we're trying to do here, we're trying to do like a morning show like nobody's really ever seen before.
Okay. And there's going to be a lot of just manic wild energy and chaos,
but we're going to try to, you know, try to still have a plan for it.
But if it flies off the rails, like, even better, it's Barstool.
You're going to revolutionize television.
Yeah.
I don't know if we'll, you know, that's your words, not mine.
But I do feel like it could be.
We should be able to get a lot of funny clips out of it for sure.
Okay.
All right.
Well, Mincy, best of luck.
So you want the GoPro.
So to reiterate, you want the GoPro.
So the GoPro, I might do a video at the end,
but we'll save that GoPro footage breaking down for the act.
I want the GoPro footage in TJ's hands as quickly as possible after Saturday
so he can start editing it so
we can watch uh you're running okay okay do you have those like last thing last thing I was I
talked to Shay about this so I did the poll yesterday 76 76 would you talk to I texted
Shay earlier Shay okay yeah but my question is what would the line be on this because like Would you talk to? I texted Shea earlier. Shea, okay.
Yeah, but my question is, what would the line be on this?
Because, like, it's 76% say I can't do it. I feel like the overwhelming public sentiment is kind of against me.
Like, I was guessing yes would be plus 180 or plus 200,
and no would be, like, minus 220 or minus 240.
I'm just curious, like, what would the line be on this, do you think, Dan?
Sure, that sounds right.
That seemed like a ballpark guess
with public sentiment.
You're saying you could do it, though. You can't set the line.
I'm saying fade the public
like always.
I actually just looked on the sportsbook
right now. It has you completing this
minus 250.
I feel like there's going to be a flood of action going on.
In the public?
In the public, Mincy.
You're minus 250, brother.
You've got to go.
You've got to not make this.
You've got to go over.
Okay.
All right, Mincy.
We'll talk to you later, man.
Did you have a question, Kyle?
No.
No.
He hung up anyway. Maybe I was
thinking like those sunglasses.
I kind of would like his point of view.
Oh yeah. Let's get him on those
sunglasses. Can you text him that?
Snapchat. I don't know if you can buy those.
The ones that like Donnie has.
They film. Can you just go like
can you get like one of those like
running things where you put your phone like right here on your chest?
Yeah, it's like a chest rig.
Just go like live on Instagram.
Oh, live, yeah.
I think his point of view could be better.
Yes.
I want to see him trip.
I do want to see his face though.
I want to see his skateboard just coming out of nowhere.
I think just a regular fall.
I need to talk to my guys Snow Lake John, Devin.
I will wear your hat for an entire week if you can slow him down at any point.
Any point.
Just run right in front of him.
I don't know.
Do you think we need that?
I don't know if we will.
Who's the pacer?
We need to get in his pockets.
We need to figure out who's pacing him.
I'll get to the bottom of this.
We'll get to the bottom.
I have no idea what to expect With his time
I think he might do it now
I'm starting to get a little nervous
We've only just heard what he said
I've never seen him run
Should we send a spy down there?
Should we send Clemmer?
Yeah
Listen I don't
I have no problem donating the money
I just want to see him run on a track
For us
For our amusement
I really don't want him run on a track for us. Yeah. For our amusement.
I really don't want him to do it this time.
We shall see.
Yeah.
I know.
The right thing will happen.
He's going to prove us wrong.
He might do it in 50 minutes.
Can his body move that fast?
He's only done four miles. Yeah.
So it's 6.2?
Yeah, 6.2.
So 37.40 is like, it's on pace for sure.
But if he runs like the last two miles at 10.30, he probably wouldn't do it?
No.
Because there's 0.2 on top of it?
I think he's just going to miss it I think it's going to be like
7 minutes over if I had to
7 minutes over? 7 minutes yeah
if it's like 10 seconds over you're not giving the money
right? oh he's got to redo it he's got to do it on the track
best possible
scenario is he does it but he doesn't do it
on Saturday he does it on the track
and then I'll donate
so we could say right now
you're rooting for
cancer. Yes.
At the moment.
I would like cancer to temporarily win.
Interim. This round.
Win the battle not the war.
Hold the belt for a little bit.
Yeah. Setback.
That's it. Thought you were
cancer free. Setback. Yep.
Then you are cancer free. In a couple weeks. That makes it. Thought you were cancer-free setback. Yep. Then you are cancer-free in a couple weeks.
Yeah, that makes sense.
That makes sense.
High Noon.
Ooh, let's talk about it.
Noon hard seltzer.
Yeah, you want to talk about it, Ron?
I'd love to.
High Noon hard seltzer.
Real vodka, real juice, sparkling water.
I had some yesterday.
They tasted good.
They got me going in the right direction.
It was like a nice afternoon. It's been beautiful days. It's 83 today in New tasted good. They got me going in the right direction. It was like a nice afternoon.
It's been beautiful days. It's 83 today in New York City, 83 degrees. That means that you're
going to be showing off your arms. You're going to be wearing short sleeve shirts and you're going
to be drinking high noons because it's so beautiful out and they're so refreshing on a hot day like
today. But they're really good for any day because it's only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. You know that I'm on that grapefruit, but I'm not going to
discriminate against the pineapple. In fact, any flavor tastes good, whether it's watermelon,
black cherry, lime, peach, mango, etc. You got the big cans too, 700 milliliters of peach and
pineapple, and you can find them on Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store or by visiting highnoonspirits.com
to find some high
noons near you. You need
to get this stuff. It tastes
so good, you're going to love it.
High noon.
KB, I think about
23 minutes ago you said that I was killing
you with something like that.
Oh, that you were very funny last night.
Were you cracking everyone up with this
story?
Oh, a story I told?
I didn't tell a personal story.
It was so funny.
Actually, I know I can't tell it.
We missed it. I guess we'll never know.
You'll know at some point, but I can't tell it
on the air because it's just...
Bye, guys.
Peace.
Peace.
Will's Alatorre's with Truth or the Master's the air because it's just it's you guys ready bye guys easy peace what a delight will's alatores
what's true for the
masters
fuck
fuck
that's my guy
will he see
is brandon there right
now
is it the masters
isn't he there for the
next
is asher calling
yeah he's
what
he's there with his
mama
his mama
how was his
yes
yeah
his
motherfucker
yeah he's like there
with his friends right
i wanted to go
mama
i had a ticket on
tomorrow of course you wanted to go i Mama. I had a ticket on tomorrow.
Or she wanted to go.
I said no.
It would have been a blast.
You would have had the time of your life if you got to go to the Masters.
Yeah, it comes first.
Yeah, it comes first.
I didn't know someone was telling me the Masters keeps their beer prices at like $3 a beer
and their sandwiches are like $1.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Brandon doesn't drink or like being out in the sun.
What a waste.
Right.
He just likes the name.
The Masters, it's a, well, it's, what they do is very smart.
They basically charge like $10,000 a ticket, and then once you're in.
Okay.
Yeah.
It evens out.
Everything's free once you're in.
Can't beat it.
I'd do the opposite.
Free to go.
$12 for a bucket.
$700.
Yeah.
That's why I didn't roller coaster tycoon.
Ready to get in, pay to use the bathroom.
Did people like that?
Spirit Airlines.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That gets me every time.
Do you have to pay to piss on Spirit?
I don't think so.
Soon.
Yeah, maybe soon.
Do you have to pay for your bags?
Yeah.
I don't think I've ever flown Spirit.
It's horrendous. I've lived a very comfortable life it's it's also they only have like two flights every day so yeah and one of
those usually goes down yeah if you get delayed or anything it's the worst hey you said that you
they always get you with that i fall for spirit every single fucking time and then by the time
i'm too embarrassed because by the time you're done your ticket
It's like $400 more than what the original price is
They list
There's nothing you can do about it
And I flew them last time to go see Pat's parents
And we got delayed and then that was the only flight
And it was like fucking A
Yeah that's terrible
Stop using them
I gotta but I'm gonna do it again
I know I'm gonna do it again
Low price frontier too Sucks you right in Stop using them. I gotta. But I'm going to do it again. I know I'm going to do it again. That low-priced Frontier, too.
Yeah.
Sucks you right in.
Really, just the people that, you know what I mean, are on that, they're troublemakers.
All the fights are always on Spirit Fights.
It's like the Chuck E. Cheese of the sky.
Wow.
Essentially.
It really is.
Anybody that's going to go in there is a ne'er-do-well. Right. I've there is a ne'er-do-well
Right
I've never been a ne'er-do-well
I know, you're a do-gooder
You are
I'm due, I wanna be a bad boy now
Starting now
Next bad boy phase
Do something
Do something really mean
I can't think of anything
Huck that shoe at me.
What shoe?
Hit him in the face when he's not looking.
Whoa.
He missed.
You did almost hit me there.
You're bitch made.
I am bitch made.
You're lucky I'm so accurate.
You did.
You went right between.
You're like William Tell.
So next Thursday we're're gonna do a case race
Old fashioned style
Okay
Everyone down with that?
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yes
Rone
100%
You look like you weren't
I'm 100% down with it
It is funny though
Like yesterday
When I was like
Jonesing to drink
Last night
I was like
Yeah let's do a fucking
And then
As today I'm hungover I'm like Not as gung ho to drink But of. I was like, yeah, let's do a fucking... And then as today, I'm hungover.
I'm like, not as gung-ho to drink.
But of course, come next Thursday.
Right, you'll be fresh again.
Next Thursday, I'm going to be getting
shithouse with my buddies.
You can tell how it's going to go
after the first drink.
Yeah.
If it's a smooth one, fun night.
So I think we should do Nick Mangold.
First teams of three?
Yeah.
I think it would be very fun to watch. Should we do 30 racks, though? 30 racks? Yeah. teams of three? Yeah. I think it would be very fun to watch.
Should we do 30 racks, though?
30 racks?
Yeah.
Teams of three?
Yeah.
36?
So he's going to drink 30 beers?
30 beers.
He can.
Can he?
Can you, Nick?
Nick.
He seems like a guy who can house him, though.
30 is a very large number.
Have you ever been around a dude off 30 beers?
Yes.
I mean, Dana beers off, like, how many is he off of?
Maybe we give him 20 more.
What is the most beers people can drink?
My attorney, Stinky Tony, would have 30 a night.
Yeah, it's like what attracted me to my husband.
30 a night?
Really?
He could drink a case, and I was like, whoa.
Well, the first one, or the second one, what did Shane end up drinking? I case and I was like, whoa. The second one, what did
Shane end up drinking?
I think he drank like 20.
No, those numbers are so
inflated. Are you calling him out?
No, that means I drank four beers.
No, but he was telling the story like
I drank four beers.
I think you're calling him out.
I texted him and Compton on the side.
I was like, you guys are minimizing my accomplishments as a friend.
Yeah.
For shame.
For shame.
Maybe we give him 20.
Mangold, 24.
I mean, let's see if you can climb a 24 rack.
24 and then we do 36 each?
So we're all doing 12.
He's on his own completely?
Yeah.
12 is a lot.
Yeah, 12 is a lot.
How many at the last one, how many did we each do?
Oh, God.
What about Francis and Mangold?
Ooh.
Francis, what's up, brother?
Francis, hello.
Hi, everyone.
Hey.
Yeah, we could chat, give some suggestions.
Have you ever drank in Appleton? Appleton, brother? Hello? Hi, everyone. Hey. Yeah, we could chat, give some suggestions. Big Cat, have you ever drank in Appleton?
Appleton, Wisconsin?
Or Oshkosh?
Oshkosh, yeah.
Did you see the drunkest cities in America?
Nine of the ten in Wisconsin?
It's all Wisconsin.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all Wisconsin.
They fucking drink.
Crazy.
But it seems like such a wholesome place, too.
It is.
It's wholesome, but they drink.
In the winter, there's nothing you can do but drink in Wisconsin.
Are they angry drunks?
No.
Every guy in Wisconsin is like 30 to 40 pounds overweight, but wears it kind of well.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's not fat, it's strength.
Yes, it's girth.
They're beer guys, strictly's girth. Yeah.
They're beer guys, strictly.
Pretty much strictly beer.
Spotted cow.
What?
Spotted cow.
Oh, I thought you bought a cow.
Spotted cow is a delicious beer that you can only buy in the state of Wisconsin.
You can't.
Every now and then there'll be stories about the border of Minnesota,
a bar in Minnesota serving spotted cow illegally out of their kitchen.
I had a wedding in Minneapolis.
Illegal.
No way.
Well, you can buy it and bring it across the border.
You can't sell it. You can't purchase it.
Sell it.
That's the big thing they sell at the airport.
It's a very good drink.
I don't know why they don't.
The exclusivity tastes better.
Not only the beer tastes good, but the fact that you know you're only getting it in this one place.
I guess it's also the perfect state to do that.
They've looked at the numbers and they're like, well, if we just sell all of it here in Wisconsin, we'll be millionaires.
Yeah, enough of it will get drank.
Right. Same amount as the other 49 states drinking it casually. Yeah, enough of it will get drank. Right.
Same amount as the other 49 states drinking it casually.
Do Wisconsinites drink it?
Yeah.
Or is it like Corona in Mexico?
No, it's really good.
Wait, Mexicans don't drink Corona?
I don't think so.
Foster's in Australia.
Foster's.
Yeah.
Irish drink Guinness.
Mexicans drink Modelo.
Mexicans drink Modelo.
O Presidente.
Yeah. Francis, how are you feeling today?
What's up Francis?
Heard you had a great set
We hung over
Thank you
I'm a little hung over
And it didn't help that we ate so much meat and stuff
Honestly at this point in my life
Food can get me hung over as much as booze
The meat sweats
It's brutal.
Where's Hairball?
He had to do some stuff with his move today.
He was really busy with his move today.
Oh.
Which, you know.
Hairball.
We Irish exited his birthday.
As soon as the clock struck midnight, we left.
His birthday's over.
Yeah, his birthday was over.
We left without saying goodbye to him.
And he called us and the two of us were giggling in a cab together
that we were sharing,
and he was like,
where did you guys go?
We were going to play pool.
Yeah.
Fuck him.
We were like,
we thought you left.
He hadn't been around.
Birthday's over.
Maybe next year, kiddo.
Yeah.
It was star-studded, though.
We saw goddamn Danny Lopriore over there.
We saw Palizzi was there.
Benedict.
Benedict Palizzi.
I missed him.
Did Sass watch that?
What do you mean?
Sass watched his set?
I don't even know if he was doing a set.
I think it was just...
Sass put some dirt on his name.
No, he didn't.
They were dapping each other up.
We should start a... Sass won't be... I assume that he did. dirt on his name. No, he didn't. They were dapping each other up.
We should start a... I assume that he did.
Oh, no, no. I just want to start a controversy.
I was like, oh, he didn't say that.
No,
yeah, we should start a beef between them.
We should start a beef, Sass, with some comedian.
Polizzi sounds great.
Do you have a beef with any comedian?
Yes.
You definitely do.
Do I?
I think so.
I know of a couple.
You know someone that I have beef with?
Didn't you talk about it on a show or something?
There was a girl once who, when I was auditioning for Just for Laughs, the festival,
she filmed my set and then posted it on her social media and was like, this guy's terrible.
Look at this guy from Barstool Sports
thinks he's a comedian.
I remember that.
And she made a cardinal sin,
which was you're never supposed to, no matter what,
you're never supposed to film another comedian's set
and then include the audio of the jokes and post that.
Where did she post it?
Huh?
Where did she post it?
It's on her Facebook or Instagram or something.
She's trashing it?
Yeah.
Damn.
Wasn't there something like you said something to another comedian
or like you talked to somebody and it was like their girlfriend or something like that?
Oh, yeah.
But that one is recent and is not worth really.
Ongoing.
It's amazing.
You're a wealthy, handsome, married, pretty lucky man.
I've never seen anything good happen to you.
Not once
It's always a light catastrophe
Always
It's just mini brush fires
Oh my god
Look at him
It must suck to be him
You're always the most logical
And reasonable person
In every situation
Yeah everything
Yeah you're well measured
Like you consider things
That other people don't consider
And then somehow You're surrounded by slop.
You've never made a snap judgment in your life yet.
Here you are.
It's amazing.
I call it my karmic reversion to the mean.
Yeah.
That the Lord gave me a lot,
and he therefore has to balance it out with horrible, horrible moments in my life.
Because I don't always know when they're coming, but they happen.
I have, man, I've had hard, I've had so many afternoons where it was difficult to breathe.
Full afternoons of my life where breathing was hard.
You have to think about that and only that.
Yeah, exactly.
Why afternoons?
Why is it hitting the afternoon?
It usually seems to happen in the afternoon.
You know, I don't know.
The other foot doesn't drop in the morning.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, the consequence, the comeuppance takes place afternoon.
Yeah.
We've had a chance of doing it.
It makes it so much funnier
that everything,
or you're just the perfect person
for it to happen to
because you're so composed
and strong and successful.
You always make the right choice,
but guess what?
It doesn't work.
I don't know.
I think that's too much credit.
At some point, if you make too many mistakes in your life,
you have to accept a certain level of responsibility.
No, but some people mistake their way into failing upward,
and this isn't even that.
It's like your mistakes don't lead to, I don't know,
it's quite funny.
Your set was also really funny.
I hadn't seen you since when you headlined, where did you headline, Gotham? Or was it Caroline's? Gotham. It was quite funny. Your set was also really funny. I hadn't seen you since when you headlined.
Where did you headline?
Gotham?
Or was it Carolines?
Gotham.
It was Gotham.
That was last April.
Last April.
I haven't seen you since then, and it was awesome.
We were cracking up at the corner.
We were also cracking up at Roan, right?
Roan was hysterical all night.
Watching Roan in a night of social behavior is pretty magical.
It's good shit.
You have a number of unique abilities that I've never seen on anyone else.
I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.
It's good.
But what you learn is that a lot of what he's doing seems to be for his own amusement.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. amusement oh yeah oh yeah and oh yeah seems to kind of play this almost like god watchmaker
like here's my he's you're all my toys and i'm going to sprinkle a dash of of fury and a dash of
jealousy there and i'm going to instill this in you and then i'm going to gas this guy up
and then i'm going to step back and watch this diorama
of human figures play their their merry play to my amusement yes and it's amazing it's so
mischievous he's so mischievous best content has only been seen by him
but he's able to do it in in time, which is the true magic of it.
You will know the right thing to say.
Someone will say something crazy to you.
And it might even be insulting or might be something that would bother a lot of people.
Someone you don't even know that well. can receive that and sort of boomerang it back in another direction
and dress it however you want,
such that the original intention and meaning of the first person
has changed completely like that.
And it's now a weapon in your arsenal.
I like that.
You're also an expert of getting people to dig themselves in a deeper hole.
Yes.
And I love it
when i'm a victim too it's fun i wish we could get examples of some good instigator just watching
you all night it was amazing yeah i don't have any of that it was there were star-studded like
i said there's star-studded guests out there you know what i mean a lot of people to interact with
you also the last thing i'll say about you that's really unusual is that you will maintain
interest in what every single person at the table is saying and you can you can respond that's
definitely genuine you can actively listen to people you don't know who aren't saying things
that are interesting and you will reach for more from them even if we've all written that person
off as a subpar member of the conversation.
Interesting.
I appreciate that.
That's a nice compliment.
Every time I go to say something and it gets cut off,
you'll bring it up like five minutes later.
Yeah, because I genuinely...
What were you going to say?
Yeah.
I like people.
I really like people.
I really like people.
And fucking with them.
Yeah, and that's part of liking people it's
true what i mean also i'm just like acutely aware of like being alive i feel like fucking with
people is a good way to remind yourself that you're alive it's like oh everybody's on autopilot
like i'm gonna fuck with people a little bit to like knock the course of trajectory pull the
cord out of the matrix yeah a little bit it's not evil fucking way. Well, sometimes it is. Sometimes.
Sometimes it's pure malice.
That's my favorite Roan when he gets on his real scorpion shit.
I haven't seen you set people up for total downfall.
It's usually towards like an immigrant.
Right.
Someone vulnerable.
Buddha Ben.
Yeah, Buddha Ben.
Buddha Ben and I had good backs and forths
yeah i left a cookie on his on his door handle one time he was like trying to give me this cookie bro
how do you how does it stay atop a door handle it took me a while to balance the cookie that's
why i remember it so much he was like an airport he was like kept on trying to give me this cookie
i kept on trying to give him the cookie back and then two days later as he was checking out of the
hotel for a different flight i like bounced it on his door handle him the cookie back. And then two days later, as he was checking out of the hotel for a different flight,
I, like, bounced it on his door handle. So the next morning, he opened the door, and there just was a cookie fell in front of him.
He was so mad.
Whose hood did you fill with crumbs?
He filled my hoodie pockets filled with crunched-up chips.
The Pete, was it the Lifesavers?
The Mints in the backpack.
The Mints.
Yeah, he filled his backpack with mints.
For no reason.
Just to see him see it.
He had a good prank run for a while,
a couple years ago.
Yeah.
But then people kind of labeled it as too malicious,
so I had to kind of quit.
You know?
It's a bad tag to be the malicious guy all the time.
People are soft.
You still get blamed for everything.
I'm going to run.
Thank you all.
Oh, okay.
Prankster who got shot.
Thanks for stopping by, Francis.
That was nice of you, brother.
Great seeing you.
Stay out of trouble, man.
Francis Ellis, everyone.
It's the afternoon time.
He just has to go breathe.
He just got to go breathe.
He's got a text.
His car got broken into or something.
Something bad happened.
That's why I had to go.
He's going to be responsible for it.
Poor guy.
You still get blamed for everything though, no?
Not a lot happens anymore.
You're right.
Nothing has happened for a while. What's the last thing that's happened?
Mean Girls?
Yeah, Mean Girls.
It doesn't count.
I know Francis is friends with Alex, and I was like, how's Alex doing? Just walking down the street, and then she was just across the street.
She spawned.
She spawned up.
I'd never seen anything like it.
That was Francis, his universal energy.
Yeah, it definitely was.
I saw Sasquatch in the wild yesterday.
No way.
What did it look like?
He was just walking.
All fours.
Yeah, he does walk on all fours.
He's on pace to be.
He is hunching.
He's candy canning out.
He's just bending all the way over.
Was he singing out loud?
He was not.
Remember he said he does that? Yeah, he does. He's a ham. the way over. Was he singing out loud? He was not. Remember he said he does that?
Yeah, he does.
He's a ham.
We realized that last night.
He hams it up.
Like in public situations, he loves to be a ham.
Like what?
Like karaoke.
You'd think that he'd be too cool for school for it,
but he'll be singing at the top of his voice like the WB frog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There he is, the man.
There he is.
Went to a fancy restaurant.
He asked where the oysters were from to the guy yesterday.
He did?
Yeah.
Were you with him?
Yeah.
What restaurant?
Fort Charles.
Cute little boy.
He's so funny, man.
Look at that. That was like five years ago that was 2015
what is he standing with there what is that supposed to be Yeah. That's me.
His little cute sweater.
Oh, my God.
I know he's watching right now.
That one's the best.
He's just hung over.
That one's hilarious.
You think he was being funny in that one? He was trying to be hot, I think.
Little hot five-year-old.
With the boat.
Yeah, that's him being hot.
The hair is swooped The best
Oh fuck
He tried so hard at stand up
He's gonna be so good
Yeah
Yes
He loves it
Good It's a cool scene though It's cool to be so good. Yeah. Yes. He loves it.
Good.
It's a cool scene, though.
It's cool to just be out, and all these funny people are just out late.
Yeah.
The cool elevation of a bar scene.
I don't even really... People aren't trying to fuck each other at other bars.
I don't know.
They're just talking shit on other comedians and stuff.
It's nice.
That is their hateful energy.
Whichever comedian's not there at that moment.
Yeah, exactly.
They're hateful as hell. I would be the... Some of the comedians are alcoholever comedian's not there at that moment. Yeah, exactly. They're hateful as hell.
That would be the
comedians are alcoholics
because they can't
not be there.
Yeah, right.
That would drive me nuts
being like,
oh, I'm going to miss tonight.
They're talking shit about me.
Yeah, it's so funny.
It's awesome.
Imagine if we had all
just tried really hard
to be comedians
and that was our scene.
We need Pete.
I need to hear this backpack.
We don't have a seat. This is it. This is our scene. Oh, he. I need to hear this backpack. We don't have Pete.
This is it.
This is our scene.
Oh, he hooked her.
He's talking to Ebony
for the first time in his life?
Yeah, right.
Doesn't know what to say.
Doesn't know her name.
Shit.
He's smiling.
He's a scum.
Pete!
True scumbag.
Pete!
Yeah, he points that.
I'm talking to Ebony. Pete's saying, Ebony, Ebony. points that. I'm talking to Ebony.
Pete's saying, Ebony, Ebony.
You see, I'm talking to Ebony.
Ebony released Pete.
Ew.
From his mortal coil.
Slow walk, slow and steady.
Why can't TJ get this backpack, this streaming backpack?
Oh.
He can, I think.
I'm just not sure what it's going to do for you guys.
We're going to stream. Right. In the backpack to do for you guys We're going to stream Right
In the backpack
In the backpack
We're going to go viral
We want to go viral
Okay
So why are you opposed?
Because I didn't know that you just wanted to stream
I thought you wanted to like capture you guys out
Hang with the boys
Well, we're going to do Hibachi
Right
I didn't think that was the best solution for her
What's the best solution?
We have to talk about what you want to do But for Hibachi, I don't think it would work.
Because it's just like him, just on his shoulder.
There's seven of you.
You're not going to be able to hear other people.
You're the worst.
I just want to do what's best for you and the gang.
No, you don't.
I do.
That's all I think about.
You want to make sure no one sees us ever.
But yeah.
So I'm glad we were able to have this talk.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Bye, Pete.
Miss you, man.
Miss the old you, bro.
Yeah.
When is the old you coming back?
No.
Not at all.
He's gotten worse.
In the five years that I've known you.
You're going to be the most miserable old man ever.
No, he might want 80 and be jolly.
No chance.
I've seen him smile before.
We went bowling in Minnesota, and he actually said I'm having fun.
Non-kids, non-wedding, what was the jolliest moment of your life?
That one beer you cracked when you were floating.
Yeah?
Summer?
There he is.
Oh, yeah.
You still going summering
in that
father-in-law's house?
Still getting cocked?
Still getting cocked?
Yeah, you had to sleep in like the second
bedroom. It's not even your house.
No, that's not.
That's true.
All right, okay.
That's what I thought.
Bitch.
Walk away.
You should have hucked my shoe with him.
What?
Does that mean I can buy this?
Yeah, buy it.
Let's go.
We'll find something fun to do.
Will this help with spy cam?
Of course it will.
No one will know what it is when you have a Ghostbusters backpack on.
Yeah, yeah.
Very discreet.
I've got to go to a freaking business meeting.
What?
What?
I know.
What type of business?
I'm meeting with a big sponsor for a big show.
I have to please them.
What show?
Dance for us, clown.
I'm going to please the hell out of them.
What show?
Is it a dangerous game show?
Could that be?
I hate it when you're coy.
I know.
Fucking coy Detmer.
All right, see you guys.
All right, do the C4, Adam, and grab a water,
and we'll keep yakking for a little longer.
C4, ladies and gentlemen.
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from power slams to high-flying moves,
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With 300 milligrams of caffeine, C4 Ultimate Energy will fuel you with the energy to get hype,
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Do that for us.
Do that for C4.
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I like them all the best. They're all tied for first.
My favorite WWE moments.
Mine was at the Barstool Arizona Super Bowl house
when we all watched.
I had never watched it,
but we all watched Hell in a Cell together.
It was like the most random mix of people.
All the office was in the living room at night.
And we were monster hits only clubbing.
And we watched Hell in a Cell.
Where was this?
It was so much fun.
It was at the Super Bowl house in Arizona.
It was just one random night.
It was like four years ago now,
three or four years ago now,
but everybody was off that night for whatever reason,
and we all just smoked and watched Hell in a Cell,
and it was a real delight.
It was great.
Is this the Akagami?
This crew?
Oh, man.
There's no way.
No.
Maybe.
Maybe. Is there water in the office now? No, I found a rogue bottle. Oh, man. There's no way. No. Maybe. Maybe.
Is there water in the office now?
No, I found a rogue bottle.
Oh, man.
It's always awesome.
Yeah.
We went for the bigger bottles, and now people are just going to drink way more water.
No.
Maybe that's why everyone's pooping.
We're throwing away unfinished bottles.
Oh, yeah.
True.
No one's finishing.
A lot of water.
We're going to get soldiers.
Yeah.
TJ, did anyone have any ideas for the case race with Nick Mangold?
I'm still waiting on a reply from him.
What?
I texted him I'm inviting him.
I did talk to graphics today.
We should figure out the format of it so that they can make an intro.
Okay.
Oh, Rome might be back.
Whether it's Teams or whatever.
Are you back?
Sorry about your show, man.
Shit, got canceled?
Yeah, Teams?
That was a week early.
Oh, no.
I mean, I'm down to... Welcome back.
I think just doing an old school just drinking.
No frills.
Yeah, there's no frills.
I think, is there a way that we could figure out how many beers everybody drank on the last case race and then wait?
Handicap it?
Wait the teams.
Yeah.
So everybody is on a balanced team To make for the most competitive
Possible case race
That's a great idea
Or like on the aggregate of the case races
If you do that put me at like a
Four
Yeah put me at a four too
I feel like I had a ton but I'm afraid to see the numbers like five
I don't remember
Are we concerned Brandon's
Not going to be here it's also his birthday that day.
No, that's perfect.
Let's have the most fun ever.
Okay.
What do you guys want to eat?
Pizza or something different?
Let's get a popcorn machine.
I was craving cotton candy for a week from now.
You can't?
You can't bite into it.
I hate the mouthfeel.
I don't like the way it feels after you eat it either.
We're like the beads of spit.
We should.
Cotton candy's the worst.
You know what we should do, though?
We should play maybe Jenga after.
Some kind of fun game like that.
We always try.
Yeah.
Because we do hang out after, and that's really what the case race is about, but something
that we would be horrible at.
I do feel like a mission brings out the best in everyone.
Jenga will be fun.
Jenga?
We should incorporate the random celebrity generator.
Oh, yes!
Somebody gets the celebrity.
Oh, we're going to play that.
Oh, we're going to play that drunk after.
Yeah.
Yes.
I will go.
Yes, yes.
That we will never get that ever again.
Oh, no, we will.
Because we won't end the show next Thursday. I mean, if you do enough repeats. Yes, yes. I will bet that we will never get that ever again. Oh, no, we will. Because we won't end the show next Thursday.
I mean, if you do enough repeats.
Yeah, you repeat.
You just learn the algo.
I really think.
I guess that's the only.
Let's play one round real quick.
I got nowhere to be.
Real quick?
Just one round.
Yeah, we're not going to get it, but let's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
100?
I don't know.
100.
200.
All right, 200. A hundred? I don't know. A hundred. Two hundred. All right, two hundred.
You drive a hard bargain.
But yeah, we got to think...
All right, so Connor will get us...
We'll handicap it.
And so what is it?
We'll do the teams based off that.
Teams of two or teams of three?
I think we do...
I guess we could do teams of two
and then just have him do a 24-pack.
Sure.
Yeah, that works.
Like that's less barbaric than a 30-rack to his face.
Dana tried to do it all on his own.
And what did he get to?
18 beers?
He's never talked.
And he didn't talk and just had to sting.
We could have put his chair outside of the studio.
Yeah.
You know what's bad, too?
It's probably exactly like giving birth, Kate.
Yeah.
Enough time passes between case races where I'm like...
Forget the pain.
I'm going to dominate this.
Yeah.
I'm going to drink so many beers so fast.
Yep.
And then one goes down and you're like, oh God.
It's like when you rip your vagina all the way to your butthole.
Exactly.
And then you don't think about it ever again.
No, actually it might be worse.
It's probably worse.
You're right.
It's very similar.
Yeah, because you can remember the pain
a little bit of the case race.
You're right.
I don't remember either the tank race,
the case race,
any of the big boozy days we've had.
I don't remember them.
My stomach got really bad after the tank race.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I...
I'm excited.
It's always fun.
You know what's funny?
I undoubtedly was hammered at each one responsibly.
But I wasn't super hung over
from any of them.
That means you're an alcoholic.
Yeah, Kate.
I actually felt great the next morning and I kept it going.
You haven't stopped since.
No, uh-uh.
I think if you give yourself a little bit of time before you fall asleep of not drinking,
like, I think a big part of being hungover is drinking right up until you fall asleep.
Well, I think, too, part of it is, like, it feels like we've been in here forever,
and then I get home, and I'm like, oh, it's only 8.15.
Yeah.
And then, you know.
Yeah, true.
That's a lot of recovery time.
Time does kind of escape.
Yeah.
Huh.
You think Shane's going to be pissed that he's not in?
He's invited.
We should invite him.
You know what would be fun some other time?
In the distance with more planning.
We each get to bring in one mystery person, but it has to be a person.
You know what I'm saying?
What do you mean? A celebrity guest. Like a person. You know what I'm saying?
Like a celebrity guest.
I don't know any celebrities.
Me neither.
That's not true. You guys all know celebrities, and you guys all are celebrities.
I know celebrities, but none that would be like,
oh, it's Kate.
Jon Stewart.
Oh yeah.
Duncan Robinson follows the ANS account
We'll invite him
No he doesn't
What?
That's sick
Yeah
Open invite to Duncan
Duncan's allowed
I told Shane
he just gets an automatic invite
Yeah
He'll probably be doing something
No pressure
He'll probably be someone
Shane versus Nick would be
Oh my god
I'd like to watch that
go down
Two silverbacks.
Or like it could be anyone.
Like I can bring in like a union guy from Terre Haute.
I don't know what you're doing.
Celebrity probably.
Wait, wait.
Do your thing again.
Let's just.
Face paint.
Oh, face paint.
Well, you said it there.
Same thing.
I heard you say face paint.
You have a mic.
You can just say it. All right. Well, it's just a quick confirmation. Yeah, face paint. Yes, of said it there. Same thing. I heard you say face paint. You have a mic. You can just say it.
All right.
Well, it was just a quick confirmation.
Yeah, face paint.
Yes, of course face paint.
Duh, face paint.
Steven, you seem a little off.
When is it?
Next week?
It is off.
It is.
Next Thursday.
Maybe we decide teams Mondays, but we're going to have to recap the race
and watch Wake Up Mincy.
Probably call them.
We've got a lot.
Tuesday, we'll probably keep that rolling over.
We could do the teams tomorrow
if Connor can figure out the handicap.
We could do the randomly generated words for our paint.
I think that worked out well last time.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
The buzz is back.
So this will air next Friday?
Next Friday, yeah.
That's also a certain loser's birthday.
Your dad's birthday?
Oh.
A tribute case race?
He's not dead.
Well, maybe a cum tribute case race.
And every time that we can nut on a picture of him,
we get a beer taken off.
Yeah, I'm in.
Ask him if that's cool.
He's watching.
So maybe the loser of the case race is actually the winner?
Yeah.
In honor of Tim Hitchings?
Yeah, that's how it works.
Sound off in the chat, Mr. Hitchings.
Also sound off in the chat about what your favorite C4 flavor is.
Oh, we did it already.
Damn it.
Do sound off.
Maybe losing team has to go to lunch With Tim Hitchings
Yeah
That will motivate me
Not to lose
He and I are both knife guys
We talk knives
Is your dad a restaurant guy TJ?
He's like a craft beer guy
He's a brewery guy
I like that
Does he use the untapped app?
Yeah he puts up
Numbies on that.
I think he's closing in on 2,000 unique. I forgot about that.
That's old school. He's well over
1,000 unique entries. What's that app? He goes viral
on it. It's Beer Facebook.
Try a new beer. Beer Facebook.
I'm on the Belly app.
You rank restaurants.
Belly, huh? First off, if you're
ranking, if you're giving out 10.0s,
you're an idiot, and you're invalidated.
Really?
Why?
You can't be giving multiple restaurants a 10.0.
Why?
That's the pinnacle of—
It's the best restaurant ever.
You'll never have it better.
There's not possible—
No, you have a 10.0 experience for that night, and you can have a different dinner tomorrow night.
That's the good thing about eating.
Have you ever had a 10.0 yourself
like when you'd be like
you know what
this is probably the best
and everything could
have been better
Michael's Beef House
in Wheeling, West Virginia
the driest saltiest
roast beef you can get
are you saying
that's a 10
that's my 10
I used to go
their hours are crazy
am I a dickhead
for saying you can't get 10s
yeah you are
you're a dickhead
I mean bad reviews
I just don't trust people who give out 10.0s.
You can't give them out willy-nilly, but they have to exist.
Otherwise, what's the point of being it rated?
I also hate people who are tough Yelp reviewers who are like,
the food was fantastic, but I had to ask two times for my Chardonnay.
That shit is so infuriating.
The food was fantastic.
It's a five.
Yeah, that's the worst.
People who live to give a bad review of something or complain hate complainers.
People are cooking the Rotten Tomatoes people right now because of the Mario movie ratings.
Oh, no.
The critic score is so bad, but the audience score is very, very good.
So what does that mean?
I trust the audience more than the critics.
I saw the new Nike shoe movie with, what's his face?
Ben Affleck has 100%.
Yeah, I heard it's really good.
Air?
Air.
Yeah, it's supposed to be like super good.
Great book for people who don't like reading too.
Shoe Dog.
Tonight's book.
I heard that was good. It's very easy
to read for a guy like me who doesn't like
to read that much.
A guy like Nick
probably wouldn't even waste his time. He's probably
reading Euripides
or some shit. I don't read anything
highbrow. He's reading Euclid.
I don't read anything classic or highbrow. I read about
dragons and wizardry.
TJ, does your dad
brew his own beer? He's attempted
it a couple times with the at-home kits,
but that doesn't usually work out well.
Maybe the loser has to drink
a beer of his choice.
I'll bring some of my dad's wine, too.
Dad's making wine all the time.
Doing a case race and then doing
a 10 ABV
IPA? That would hurt. Yeah. That would make then doing like a 10 ABV IPA?
That would hurt.
Yeah.
That would make you feel like a loser.
A loser has to chug the heaviest.
A Chimay?
Yeah.
So tell them to come up with a couple beers.
That's what I used to get.
That's what I used to get too. If it was on the menu, I'm getting that.
12%?
Come on.
Yep.
That's what I used to do too.
And that was usually the turn. I'd be able to look back at the night and be like, man, where did it go wrong? And that's 12%? Come on. Yep, that's what I used to do too. And that was usually the turn I'd be able to look
back at the night and be like, man, where did it go wrong?
And that's usually where it went wrong.
I'll have him bring me some heavies. It's not good.
No.
No.
No, that'll get you.
Damn, bro.
You are reading Euripides.
Zillion beers.
Look at him.
That's a side-by-side.
That's borderline cool.
I would never say it about him,
but if that was someone else's fridge,
I might say that's cool.
Is he snobby about craft beer?
No.
He doesn't gatekeep or anything.
Good.
He has his favorite type breweries.
God damn it, stop.
I'm starting to like him.
Is that a basement fridge?
It's a garage fridge
Fuck yeah
Stop this
Stop this
Are you
Ready for salad bowl tomorrow
Oh
Yeah
Do you guys know the rules
Yeah
Oh
Yeah yeah
Let's pretend
I played it a bunch
Who's that comedian
Trevor Wallace
Is he funny
He's Yes and he's Very successful He has like fucking 10 million followers Who's that comedian? Trevor Wallace. Is he funny?
Yes, and he's very successful.
He has like fucking 10 million followers on TikTok or something.
Cracking jokes.
Yeah, I watched him come up from nothing.
What movies was he in? He was in a couple or so.
I didn't know he was in.
The player picks a word from the bowl and describes it to his teammates
without saying the actual word.
Once the word is correctly guessed,
he can select another word
from the bowl for his teammates to guess.
He continues picking, describing each word
for his teammates to guess.
I don't think that's it.
That sounds fucking nutty.
Are you thinking of the words
in the bowl?
That sounds boring. I would like fucking nutty. That sounds fun. Are you thinking of the words in the bowl? That sounds boring.
I would like you to write the words, Kyle.
Yeah.
You all write your own.
You all write your own.
Oh, we all do.
Wait, so we have to come up with words?
Hold up.
It's not words.
That was the wrong game.
Numbers?
That was just making us do this.
Were you thinking of the telestrations?
No.
It's like Pictionary, but it's like the telephone game in Pictionary?
Because that's a fun one.
Someone who knows it, let us know. It's like Pictionary, but it's like the telephone game in Pictionary. Because that's a fun one.
Someone who knows it, let us know.
It's your game.
We played it and had a blast.
Well, if we do it that way, or if we do it like you just described it, we need to turn off these TVs and show the word to TJ so he can put it on the screen.
The people at home could have more fun.
I think it could.
That's how it's fun, KB.
Do you have the random generator?
Oh, wow.
I'm right off the bat in Edward Snowden.
Go ahead, Ron.
All right, you want me to start one?
John Madden.
Whoa. I had such a good feeling
These look like
We have not had either
That's the dad from Oracle right?
Alright go ahead Keeby
Judy Garland
Charlize Theron
I noticed that
Oh and Frank
A lot of these people are older
Yeah
Lisa Lampanelli
Queen Latifah Ulysses Grant Oh, and Frank. A lot of these people are older. Yeah. Lisa Lampanelli.
Queen Latifah.
Ulysses Grant.
Michael Caine.
Sylvester Stallone.
Paul Rudd.
You can't go Bill Hader to Paul Rudd.
Tom Green.
I already had it in my head and I couldn't think of it. I know.
Jerry Seinfeld.
Meryl Streep.
FDR. I know. Jerry Seinfeld. Meryl Streep. FDR.
Will Nelson.
Christina Applegate.
Pythagoras.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Close.
Oh.
Jonah Hill.
Jesus Christ.
Michelle Williams. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. Michelle Williams.
Oh, man.
Tom Brady.
This is, I forgot how hard this was.
This is really hard.
It's really hard.
Tom Brady.
Dennis Quaid.
Dan Rather.
Oh, Bret Hart.
John Mayer.
Mark Twain.
Mark Twain.
Fuck. Regina Spector. Mark Twain. Fuck.
Virginia Spector.
I love her.
Andrew Dice Clay.
Gavin Rossdale.
Tony Hawk.
Macklemore.
Oh, weird Al.
Ernest Hemingway.
Cher.
Paula Deen.
Plato. Zooey Deschanel. Cher Paula Deen Plato
Zoe Deschanel
Jeff Foxworthy
Forrest Whitaker
George Clooney
Tom Hanks
George Harrison
Bob Cousy
Alan Alda Paul Newman George Harrison. Bob Cousy.
Alan Alda.
Paul Newman.
Oh.
Kind of.
Close.
Kind of.
Damn.
I always get Topher Grace.
James Franco.
Vince McMahon.
Tom Selleck. Ashton Kutcher
Vijay Singh
Steven Spielberg
Sherry Oteri
Harmon Killebrew
I'm trying to think of one that we didn't do already.
Anne Hathaway Mike Pence I'm trying to think of one that we didn't do already.
Anne Hathaway.
Mike Pence.
Joan Cusack.
Lee Van Cleef.
Joan Rivers.
Prince.
J.J. Abrams.
Joan Baez.
We're due for an athlete.
Bob Cousy.
There we go.
Tom Hanks.
Magic Johnson.
Edgar Allen Poe.
Carrie Strug.
Lee Van Cleef.
Whoa.
I can't think of anyone
how many clicks is that
L. Gibson
Zach Galifianakis
shit
I'm really struggling to think of people
I feel so confident
Chris Johnson running back for the Titans
Chris Farley
Tom Selleck damn fuck him Chris Johnson running back for the Titans. Chris Farley.
Tom Selleck.
Damn.
Fuck him.
Kathy Griffin.
Oh, nice.
Carrot Top.
Dante that we work with.
Steven Spielberg. That's kind of close.
Yeah.
Scott Bale, actually, in a lot of ways.
Hal Ripken.
Boo
Thang.
Zuckerberg.
Obama.
Mrs. Obama.
Courtney Cox.
Hobson
Patricia Arquette
John Wilkes Booth
Marilyn Manson
Farrah Abraham
Gary Oldman
David Arquette
Tiny Tim
Curb Your Enthusiasm guy
Or David
Yeah
Steph Curry
Saucy Santana
Vin Diesel
Greg
Alright yeah yeah
Yeah Greg
He gets any Greg
Paul Walker.
Joey Fatwin.
Eugene Wu.
Al Pacino.
Megan Thee Stallion.
Let's go one more round.
Anthony Bourdain.
Brad Pitt.
This is the last round.
Oprah.
That would have hit.
Oh, fuck.
I got to get this right.
Tom Cruise.
Nice.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, damn it.
I was going to piss you off. Oprah. Oh! Oh, damn it. I was going to piss you off, Oprah.
Oh!
Very close.
Steven Spielberg.
All right, well, we'll save the rest for the case race.
Save the rest of it.
I think we were getting close.
It's better if we don't get it every time.
It makes it...
The case race will be electric.
We're only going to get it once ever.
Yeah.
If we do the case
race you can't do
finish the case race
until everyone gets
it once.
Or maybe if like
it's every hundred
clicks we have to
add one more beer.
Oh my God.
So that would have
been three bonus
beers last time.
Yeah.
That's untenable.
That shit's freaking untenable.
Have you guys seen...
Have you guys seen the guy on Instagram?
Hope that helps.
Have you seen him?
Yeah.
No.
The guy with the dogs that kill rats viciously?
Oh, yeah.
I've seen that guy. TJ, you want me to send kill rats viciously? Oh, yeah. I've seen that guy.
TJ, you want me to send you that, TJ?
Yeah, man.
Hold on.
I want to tell you guys, because it pisses me off.
No one pisses me off more than this guy, but I can't stop following him because he actually does help.
I've got to find him.
What is it, like advice?
Oh, it's like he he debunks like
stupid videos online
why don't you like him
is it Mitch Seeker
wait till you see
yeah it might be
yes go on Instagram
go on his Instagram
wait till you see
how he does it
and it's
it's
he's trapped me
in an infuriating game of
I'm interested
and then the way he ends every video makes
me want to die let's see is that okay what is that this guy yeah one just
click on any of these videos a quick word of caution while this video isn't
overly gory there is a little bit of blood and so if you don't want to see
that keep on scrolling.
All right, thank you.
That is a lot of blood.
It's a ton of blood.
Oh, yeah.
What is that, just from a fish, or did it smell?
I know what you're probably thinking.
I said it wasn't very gory, and yet the whole water's red.
Well, most of it is a red ink that the dwarf sperm whale, which is what that
animal is, uses as a defense mechanism. This whale also uses echolocation, and that can get confused
in shallow water, which it did. A seal picked up on that and began to pursue it. Now, as you can see,
the whale did hit into the rocks, and the redness you see on its head is, in fact, blood. Now, it was able to escape this situation with the seal,
but was found nearby beached, and unfortunately,
officials in Cape Town, they were unable to do anything for the well,
so they had to euthanize it.
They had to put it down.
But, yeah, many of you thought this was a shark.
It was, in fact, a dwarf sperm whale.
Hope that helps.
I don't like him. Do again do another one oh yeah you don't like him i think after the red ink fact i didn't care yeah that one was a bad
one so that's tripe which is the edible stomach lining of an animal, typically a sheep, a cow,
or a pig. What you're also seeing is a peeled fruit, an orange, and that's being housed inside
of the tripe. Now, there are two potential reasons for this, one being flavor. People can find the
taste of tripe pretty unappealing, so adding a citrus flavor to it can improve or enhance the overall flavor
of the tripe. The other being
a tenderizing of sorts.
So you take something like tripe
and you mix it with acidic ingredients
like fruit, and
you can tenderize the meat. You can break
down those fibers.
I hate how he acts like he knows everything.
He does know everything! No, he just Googled it.
Every video he knows! It's interesting, but... He Googled everything. He does know everything. No, he's just looking it up. He found it. Every video he knows.
It's interesting, but...
He Googled it.
He says, hope that helps.
He doesn't know that personally.
He does.
He didn't know that until he looked it up.
He knows everything.
His stripe.
The water bottle one at the top.
He knows everything.
Light refraction.
Hope that helps.
Oh, see?
That one bothers me.
That one bothered me a lot.
I can't stop watching because he knows everything.
I kind of like the content.
He knows everything, KB.
Literally everything.
Yeah, I want to see more.
He knows everything.
He's a genius.
I remove this piece of chocolate,
and then I switch these two
pieces of chocolate.
How do I have an extra piece of chocolate?
The chocolate bar is shorter.
It's an illusion. Hope that helps.
Oh, okay.
What?
This smarmy bastard. Smarmy.
Smarmy is the word. He knows everything.
Hope that helps. I'm trapped in his
algorithm where I can't get a...
I do follow him, so that might be part of it.
You've put him in our algorithm now.
Right now, everybody.
Hope that helps.
Hope that helps.
If he was British, it would pop off.
Hope that helps, old boy.
Hope that helps.
Hope that helps, governor.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hope that helps.
Hope that helps. I hope that helps.
Should we end?
Roan has a meeting next week.
Yeah.
Should we spin the wheel?
Wait a minute.
Your meeting's next week, the day we're doing the case race?
No, Wednesday.
Oh, okay.
It's Wednesday.
Is today Thursday?
You got the day wrong, too?
I'm scrambled.
That shit happened to me on Friday.
I booked this show and I got to the show and they're like, this is for a week from now.
I don't know how calendars work.
What do you mean you booked a show?
Like I went to a show.
Oh. Like a burlesque show.
That happened to me and Tommy once when we were at Michigan, Ohio State.
I bought tickets for Michigan State Ohio for the next year
Oh
You and Tommy
Walker
Tommy Scabelli
Little Tommy Smokes
Used to be on the college football show
Oh yeah
I got the flu one day when we were doing a test show
And he filled in and Dave was like
Tommy was great And then I was like great He should doing a test show and he filled in and Dave was like, Tommy was great.
And then I was like, great.
He should be on the show.
And then Tommy's like, I don't watch college football.
Not a deal breaker.
He was on the show.
That was it.
Not even close to a deal breaker.
He rocked it.
Say what you want about Tommy.
Yeah.
Yep.
I will.
I definitely will.
So what time are we thinking of doing the case race?
Because I do have something for Thursday at 3 next week.
I think we'll do it at like 5, 36 o'clock.
Oh.
Yeah.
Because we've got to get our face paint.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Perfect.
It will be Sass's birthday and Brandon's birthday.
Yeah.
So we need Brandon's theme. No, but he's not going to be Sass's birthday and Brandon's birthday? Yeah. So we need Brandon's theme.
No, but he's not going to be here.
I know.
That's better.
Can he send Tommy as an emissary?
Awesome.
Tommy's also in Mississippi for spring break.
Damn it.
Brandon better come back with a clear mind.
He better.
He better.
He's been a jumbled mess.
Man, it's all over the place.
All right, spin the wheel, TJ.
Salad Bowl tomorrow.
I'm so excited to learn the rules.
The audience will love it.
We'll love it.
Come on, LeBron Arden.
Come on, LeBron Arden.
Oh, no.
We got too many name wheels.
I actually want to get wet, Ranger.
Hot and dry.
My apartment shower now, when I turn on my sink,
dirty water comes up from the drain of my house.
Oh, my God, Nick.
It smells like the inside of an asshole.
How much longer is on that lease?
It's month to month.
I can live whenever.
Send the video.
I hope that helps, guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah can live whenever. Send the video to the Hope That Helps guy.
Heck.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Just figure it out.
That shit.
Hope that helps.
We're about to die.
Hope that helps.
Yeah, you're shortening your lifespan every night you spend there.
Hope that helps.
Let's go, Che.
So is there one thing left?
Oh.
Sorry, Kate. No, it's thing left? Oh. Sorry, Kate.
No, it's okay.
We had a couple, I think.
Haven't we hit, like, everything on Jay's wheel?
I've only gone, I think last time was my first time.
Oh, wow.
And then there is a new one.
So TJ is up there.
Hibachi and bowling.
So we can remove the bowling.
Hibachi was not me.
Who was that?
Oh, I thought it was.
It was Sass.
It was TJ.
Oh, TJ. TJ. I thought that was you. I love Hibachi. Yeah, we're going to do who loves Hibachi was not me. Who was? Oh, I thought it was. It was T.J. Oh, T.J.
T.J.
I thought that was you.
I love hibachi.
Yeah, we're going to do hibachi.
T.J. loves hibachi.
Good.
And hate Korean barbecue.
What?
You don't fuck with Bob Bogey?
Oh!
I had it last night.
Korean barbecue and hot pot places where you got to pay to cook the food yourself?
We had dinner together.
I got it for delivery at like midnight.
That's fine.
If I got to cook the food myself, I'm not paying.
Why?
Because I'm not a chef.
I don't go to a restaurant to experiment.
I understand.
What about those make your own stir fry places?
Those rule.
I'd much rather somebody that knows how to do it does it.
I guess they cook it for you.
That's why I like hibachi so much.
It's the exact opposite of cooking it yourself.
I'm with you on that.
Right in front of you.
Hope that helps. Should we go to hibachi after the case race right in front of you. Hope that helps.
Should we go to Hibachi after the case race?
That'd be funny.
Oh, God.
Popcorn race?
What is this?
What that?
What that be?
Get movie popcorn and eat it during the show.
Everybody gets a tub.
Whoever finishes last has to eat a second tub.
Oh!
Can I bring the leftovers to my daughter?
She fucking loves movie theater popcorn.
You can add things to the tub if you want, like candies or chocolate or whatever.
Thanks, Jay.
All right.
Okay.
I like that.
Yeah.
Tomorrow?
Sure.
Can it work with salad bowl?
Let's maybe do it early next week.
Okay.
Monday.
I love it.
I've been wanting popcorn. Is it going to be from an actual movie theater? Yeah, it has next week. Okay. Monday. I love it. I've been wanting popcorn.
Is it going to be from an actual movie theater?
Yeah, it has to be.
Oh, great.
How are you going to get that?
You can do it after the case race.
Yeah, that would be great.
Or during the case race.
That salty food will help you drink more.
True.
Could do that if you want.
Yeah.
That's a lot of food and popcorn, though.
That's a lot of sounds.
That is right.
A lot of sounds.
Gulp and crunching.
I already do that too much.
We all eat.
Okay.
That's a great challenge.
Thanks.
That'll be fun.
I do think maybe we should do it during or after the case race.
Fuck yeah.
Popcorn all around is fun.
Popcorn with beer is delicious.
Yeah.
Oh, that butter.
Couple M&M's in there.
Whoever has to eat the second tub
is going to be miserable.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Someone's going to have to be
eating the second tub.
I mean, some cinnamon.
But when you're drunk,
it might be good.
You're putting vanilla extract
in your popcorn.
I mean, cinnamon and vanilla extract.
What movie theater are you going?
Best combo.
Oh, my.
Al-Khazaa.
Oh, my days.
Oh, my days.
I think I'm going to go see a movie tomorrow.
That sounds fun.
Mario?
Dungeons and Dragons, maybe?
Oh, yeah.
That makes sense.
This is a movie about Nike?
Nike signing Jordan.
Yeah. Who plays Jordan? That sounds good. I don is a movie about Nike. Nike signing Jordan. Yeah.
Who plays Jordan?
That doesn't sound good.
I don't know.
That could ruin it for me.
Yeah.
Who does play Jordan?
Who plays Jordan?
Or is it like one of those where he's like Steinbrenner on Seinfeld?
Oh.
Miles Teller.
Miles Teller is playing Jordan.
Yeah.
Who would play?
Michael B. Jordan?
He might be the best.
I just googled Air Cassin and got very different results.
I guess you would.
Who's Jordan?
I don't know if he's in the movie.
Oh, so they did do it that way.
Julius Tennant is James Jordan's dad.
Unless it's like what they did with Kevin Spacey in Seven.
What?
It's a surprise.
I think...
I never saw...
Oh, fuck.
Damn.
What's in the box?
Who would play Michael...
Denzel?
Michael B. would be great.
He'd be too old.
Denzel's son?
He was good in Tenet.
I didn't know he had a son.
Wait.
Somebody does play him.
Damien Young. Okay. I didn't know he had a song. Wait, somebody does play him.
Damien Young.
Okay, I'm in.
Jay Moore's in this?
I used to have a beef with Jay Moore back in the day.
Bob Sugar?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know.
It was like an old internet beef where he just hated me for some reason and called me out. And then I reciprocated.
And then we squashed it.
I can't remember why.
Squeezed out Jerry Maguire.
Oh, and you're in a beef?
With the guy from Podcast Poo.
Oh, that's already pretty much squashed.
I mean, well, he just, didn't come back at me.
I, like, they said some things.
He's, like, better looking, more talented, can sing better than me,
better at basketball, runs faster, more flexible.
Then I came back at him and said all my, I said my piece,
cracked a bunch of jokes.
You have the best style.
You eat at the freshest restaurants.
You have the hottest friends
You
Yeah you do
That's what I was saying to him
My friends are super hotter than his
Even though Paul George
Roof or crew
Paul George is cute
Paul George is pretty cute
Yeah
Jackie Long does
The most with what he has
But
He
So I cracked all these jokes
And then he just didn't come back at me
He didn't say anything back
He was just like
I didn't say I might beat you in basketball
I definitely would beat you in basketball
I was like let's make jokes
And content out of this
Or
I don't know
It was a waste of my time
Sadly
A little bit of beef though
A little tete-a-tete
Like a back and forth
I like getting back and forth.
I like getting made fun of.
I think I maybe posted a paparazzi picture of his wife, Nikki Cox.
I don't remember.
Huh.
I had a beef with Jay Moore.
Squashed it, though. He plays a great asshole in movies.
Yeah.
We squashed it. I know we squashed it. Jay Moore a great asshole in movies Yeah we squashed it
I know we squashed it
Jay Moore and I are cool like that
We hash it out
I remember
What is he in?
Talking to him on the phone in my alley in Chicago
Being like are we beefing bro?
What's up Moore?
He had a show called
More Sports or some shit like that,
but he was a mid-90s actor.
What sitcom was he on?
He was, really.
But I couldn't tell you.
I have his number. I'm going to call him.
Should I call him?
I'll call him and see if we can get to the bottom of the beef.
Yeah, ask him about the beef.
See if you guys are good.
Probably has my number blocked.
This is going to suck, though, because then he's going to call me back.
I'm going to have to pick up.
Fuck.
He was on SNL.
Wow.
Yeah, very accomplished guy.
Yep.
Yeah, he's in Jerry Maguire. Give him a call.
And Gary and Mary.
There's a story of Gary and Mary.
Your mic's off.
What the fuck?
Okay, bike.
Sorry, I didn't want the number to come through because I just killed the sound for the whole you're good Apologize to me brother. Oh, what's up?
Yeah
No, nothing nothing not I just killed the mics cuz cuz what's called the mine trim machine was gonna say the number
But I'm good. I'm good. How you guys doing's it called? The mainstream was going to say the number.
But I'm good, though.
I'm good.
How are you guys doing?
A little tired.
Zah, wait.
How was the wedding?
It was great.
A little tired.
Did you know this, Big Cat, that Zah flew halfway around the world for one day for a wedding and then flew back?
What?
Yes.
Yeah, I was in Sri Lanka.
I was in Sri Lanka.
Oh, my God, yeah.
For like a night.
Holy shit, we all totally forgot about that.
Yeah.
How was it?
That was great.
It was awesome. One of my favorite, it's probably top three favorite country about that. How was it? It was great. It was awesome.
One of my favorite, it's probably top three favorite country I've been to.
Really?
It's really it.
You were only there for a day?
So I was there from Sunday till Wednesday.
So my Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were packed.
Damn.
What the hell's going on in Sri Lanka?
Bro, a whole lot of shit.
They still fuck with us?
A whole lot of shit.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
You messed around
with their presidents
and all that.
Their presidential situation.
Talking about us.
You did?
Yeah.
What did we do?
There was a coup.
Yeah.
We did it?
Yeah.
When did we do that?
Every coup is done by.
Zah knows too much.
It was like six months.
Six months ago?
Zah, you're not.
Did you write a
I'm not supposed to say that
Out loud
Whoops
That we do every coup
Nah but it was good though
We are awesome
I didn't know where Sri Lanka was
We're kind of bad at it
We're sick at coups
Right off the coast of India
You think we're bad at coups?
Yeah I feel like they normally
Backfire after a little bit
Oh yeah but like
The actual
Oh in the moment
Great at coup
Iraq
Yes Long run We'll displace a dictator And we're really good after a little bit. Oh, yeah, but like the actual coup. Oh, in the moment. Great coup, yes.
Long run, no. We'll displace a dictator.
And we're really good at spinning it, too.
We'll call them a dictator when they probably might not even.
Holy shit.
When we're in America, everyone tells us,
like, oh, yeah, this is good what's happening.
That might be prime location.
A good weather?
I was in Gali.
Gali.
I did not know Sri Lanka was there. Me either.
Can we see the Google images of us?
Oh, look at that. I thought Sri Lanka was
in...
I don't know where I thought Sri Lanka... I didn't know it was
an island. You didn't think about it.
You probably have never thought about Sri Lanka.
I'm sorry to Sri Lanka.
And people party? People are partying?
Oh, that looks nice.
Oh, that's nice. Oh. Oh, that's nice.
Oh, would you look at the wall.
Come look at that.
Oh, bless its heart.
Oh, the trees.
It's such a cute little place.
You were there?
You go on the street?
It looks so the whole coast pretty much.
They have those walls up to prevent the water coming up from tsunamis and all that.
But we were in that old...
Smart.
That old galley area.
What?
Oh!
You've been holding out?
Okay, I saw that, the lighthouse.
Damn.
There's a cricket ground in Gal.
Sri Lanka's pretty sick.
Were you smoking chiba out there?
Nah, dude.
My old man was there, so I had to behave myself.
Ah, shit.
Family.
Hey, the Domino's?
Pizza Hut?
It's a cricket pitch.
There we go, yeah.
Oh, it's huge.
That's the Gal Cricket Ground.
But yeah, no, it was awesome.
It was awesome.
Highly recommend.
Good food, too.
People are very nice.
What kind of food?
Similar to Indian food?
Yeah, yeah.
So a lot of, I had a lot of curries.
I had a lot of the curries.
Sri Lankan omelets.
What's a Sri Lankan omelet?
It's pretty much just an omelet with like peppers, onions, and they just call it Sri Lankan.
Same as a Denver omelet.
Denver is the Sri Lanka
of at least
the mountain time zone.
Damn, I got such a narrow
world view.
I gotta get out to Sri Lanka.
You'll be there next week, I'm sure.
Should I?
Do it.
I'm gonna go with Zod's dad, though.
And not smoke weed.
You just got to tell him that you're smoking dope, bro.
You just got to let your dad know.
Yeah.
You're respectful.
You're respectful.
You're bad news.
African parents, man.
Yeah.
African parents, that's a non-stop.
Whoa, FSU Brando just told me that Jay Moore is marrying Jeannie Buss.
Already did, I thought.
Really?
I thought they were already married.
He's sober now, so he might not remember her beef.
I say that because I just looked at his Wikipedia page.
He is married.
He married to Buss?
He owns the Lakers?
That's kind of sweet.
That's sick.
Kind of fucking awesome.
He fumbled the bag with Nikki Cox.
He's that kind of parallel to Alex Bennett.
Yeah, exactly parallel.
You're right.
Mean Boys pod.
Yeah.
What?
That's dope.
It would make sense.
You think he's just having fun?
He's probably a great guy to hang around with.
Yeah, big time.
Is he a Chicago guy?
I don't know.
He looks like a Chicago guy
Frank Fleming probably knows him
He's from Nutley
No he's not
Any of those 90's comedians
Guys you want to hang out with
Off color jokes
I got stories to tell
From the 90's
Great dude to have at your
Celebrity golf outing.
Yeah, spend a couple hours with him, get the stories in, smoke a cigar.
You don't have to indulge his ego.
We should do this more often, never see him again.
Yeah, no, never do it again.
Your entire life.
We maybe see him once at Big Cat from the...
Yeah, yeah.
We had beef.
Down at the Row.
We should do a celebrity golf outing and just get like
the lowest levels
not the Jay Morris
but
it would be funny
yeah
dude how about
foreplay having
god damn
one direction on
Niall
Niall Horan
come on
and he's a fan
yeah what
that's fucking dope
that's the best
for the ego
a famous person saying that they're a fan of yours
Bobby Hurley when he met us in the
When we had him on
I met him in the lobby to bring him up
And he was like Big Cat what's up
And I was like fuck yes
I love you dude
It's the easiest way for me to give you
The softest interview ever
Say my name
Love you guys Say my name one I love you guys. Say my name
one time before a hint.
Oh, my only question was
wasn't that sweet when you won? Yeah, you turned
into Chris Farley.
That was awesome. Completely disarms
me. Wasn't that sweet
when you won? Yeah. That's a
Bosco question.
This interview is exclusive with Steve Fisher.
So, you like that
last play they scored on the buzzer beater?
Yeah.
Everyone's wondering. Sick interview.
Everybody's wondering.
Bosco got the exclusive. No one had talked to Steve
Fisher. I know. That's good.
That's on the game.
Dude, what should I do about this fingertip?
I tried to lance it last night. I had someone, I think Lori was trying to pop it.
You know what they normally do?
They like dry out inside and it becomes like dried blood.
And then you pop it and you can like just scrape out the dried blood.
Sounds gross, but.
Oof.
Ew, dude.
Yeah, that is not cute.
Fuck you, Kate.
It's like a mole.
Yeah, it looks like a mole.
What about all our brothers and sisters that actually have moles on their finger like that?
Can you get finger moles?
Yeah, I feel like you don't see that on the palms.
Moley palms.
What the hell?
I guess you don't.
What the hell, Nick?
Something to think about.
All right, you want to go do the rundown?
Yeah.
We got to go do the rundown.
All right, see you everyone tomorrow.
Salad Bowl.
Salad Bowl.
Salad Bowl.
It'll be a good one.
It'll be a classic.
Very excited.
Guaranteeing it's our best Salad Bowl episode.
That's a high bar.
We may have played.
Did we play?
Remember when the interns came in?
Gia came in?
Or was that just charades?
It might have just been charades.
They were in a bowl.
We got to figure out how to play before we play.
I got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act. See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Wait, hold on.
Happy birthday.
Peace.
Tell them what's good.
Hi, people.
Missed you guys these past three days.
Peace.
Shout out to the birthday boys that TJ's about to shout out. Happy 47th birthday, Brad Carter.