The Yak - Nadu Calls In From Amish Country to BRAWL with Cheah | The Yak 5-15-23
Episode Date: May 15, 2023Blades of GloryYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
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It's the YAK.
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Yo, DJ, pull that up.
It's the YAK.
It's the YAK. Yo. Hello.
It's the Yak.
Yes.
Back.
Yes.
That voice you hear, that is Roan.
Good to see you all.
Back from Most Dangerous Game.
Mincy was taking some shots at Most Dangerous Games.
Did you see that?
He really didn't want to do it.
Yeah.
He did not want to do it.
There was some scary stuff that was involved that he just wanted no part of.
He might have gotten himself fired to avoid that.
Wait, what were the shots he was taking?
He was like, this has been a great week.
I didn't have to do Barstool's Most Dangerous Game show.
And he sounded like a hellhole or some shit like that.
I heard it was quite the production.
It was a hellhole production.
I heard so many good things.
There has been so many funny things.
Buzzing around the office.
Yeah, funny, funny things.
Yeah, good gameplay, good interpersonal drama, incredible sets, incredible challenges.
Visually, it's going to be top notch.
It's just going to be fucking... And the winner?
Of course not.
Of course not. Jersey Jerry.
Honestly, I'm so scared it's going to get
spoiled. I really hope that everybody who's
in the cast is smart about it.
I don't know if they will.
Has a cast member ever spoiled it?
Yes.
Or is it just KB and Jerry?
No, we're bad with those.
No, someone else.
Which one did you spoil?
Good Lord.
Goodness me, I forgot I did that.
Goodness me.
You spoiled most of it.
I was in that bathroom.
You sound like Pete the Cat.
You hyperventilated.
Oh, goodness me.
Zippity-doo-dah.
Yeah, I did that.
But how are the elements in Colorado?
I heard.
It was very cold. it was very cold.
It was very cold.
It was.
I brought a sweatshirt.
I was supposed to be known.
That's where it was.
No, it's not.
That's not.
That's not.
Let's move on.
Let's move on.
Pat Bev shows.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They knew.
And we announced it last or the Friday before the last.
But it was very, I i mean cold as a part of
the cold shower gang you would have been fucking you would have been tried because the water there
was cold as fuck unseasonably cold and as soon as we got to the camp they're like this is what you
do if you see a bear this is what you do if you see a mountain lion they said that they've had
like a bear in the mess hall before what i? They had to rumble with a bear.
What do they say you do if you see a mountain lion?
Because I always have the impression that you're supposed to have a rock.
You're supposed to just throw rocks at it.
Wait, you don't play dead?
That's bear.
With a mountain lion, you have to attack?
It's not every bear.
Not these bears.
Grizzly bears, you lay down.
Black bears, you yell and you get big.
And if it's a polar bear or a white bear, you're dead.
You're dead.
You fight back. Joey Kamasta?asta help the bear you open your ass open your ass cheek were there so a polar bear is the worst news yeah were there some in iceland no there's like dude there's like
nothing like the most dangerous animal they have in iceland is uh the what is it the fox it's like
the snow fox i would think it would be Nazis. Or Nazis, yeah.
Hackers now.
They got their servers up there in Iceland.
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The best.
It's good to have you back.
Sorry about the Sixers.
That sucked so bad.
Dude, everything.
It's all.
I had a dream last night that the Eagles won the Super Bowl.
Like, it's affecting me at a subconscious level.
I was like, wow, two in five years?
This is fucking awesome.
I was so excited about it.
It sucks.
It's affecting me subconsciously.
Good news is Max just is like a human shield for sadness for you.
I know.
He just takes the brunt of everything.
Yeah.
Including breaking Nick's chair.
How does he break that wide?
If you want to play that clip, he just.
It was inside.
Yeah.
Oh, the Quigs ones.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Poor guy.
That sucks so bad for him. Would you rather have lost in the finals?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Meeting the Celtics is a mass.
And getting through the second round, it'd be just a massive step forward.
We've lost in the second round like fucking five times.
So now we just have to literally factory reset everything.
Harden's gone.
Doc's probably gone.
Embiid might be gone, dude.
We've got people being like, restart the process.
The thing is, you have to worry about those knees and feet.
Yeah.
He doesn't have that dog.
He really might not.
He doesn't.
I saw that it's the biggest disparity for an MVP historically
of regular season points per game to playoff points per game.
That's insane.
And I think he – you know who he passed?
He passed Embiid from last year.
You mean Embiid wasn't MVP last year?
Well, okay, maybe not.
It was either scoring leader or, like, top five.
So it was that.
Did you see Ben Simmons' Instagram story?
Yeah, yeah.
What was it?
He was watching the game with a glass of wine.
His TV was in the worst spot.
Did you see the two chairs?
It's in a fine spot, but it was off center.
There's also chairs facing the other way.
He was blocking the TV.
Yeah.
That's stupid as hell.
Rich people don't know how to relax.
I've seen his first home.
Look at this.
That would drive me insane.
That's the exact same layout as Dave's house.
Oh, yeah, the off-center TV.
That would drive me insane.
The chairs with the back to it, it's like...
Even the chairs aren't centered on this.
It's a huge feng shui.
An NBA player using a blankie is pretty funny.
Yeah, that is.
A blankie over the legs.
He caught a chill.
60, 65? It's bullshit because you can't upsize either An NBA player using a blankie is pretty funny. Yeah, it is. A blankie over the legs. How big is that TV? 60?
65?
It's bullshit because you can't upsize either because the wood panels in the wall have you locked in.
The thing is, too big of a TV is a little bit trashy.
I think if you're an NBA player, you can have the biggest TV possible.
Remember Cliff Kingsbury's?
His was embarrassingly big.
Yeah.
I thought that was cool.
You get so big that you have to do a video big. Yeah. I thought that was cool.
You get so big that you have to do like a video wall.
Yeah.
In that case, have a theater.
Then you just can't casually watch in a theater.
But what does size make better? Just like a very beautiful cinematography.
I think it also just like the wow factor of people walking in being like,
whoa, that's-
That used to be like the coolest thing you could have.
Oh, yeah.
When TVs were super expensive. If you had like a buddy with like a 70-inch, you were like, we're going over to his place coolest thing you could have. Oh, yeah. When TVs were super expensive.
If you had a buddy with a 70-inch, you were like, we're going over to his place because he's a millionaire.
Those things were a commitment, too, because you weren't moving them.
Remember the big ones that they started on the ground and they were five feet wide?
I had that in college.
And if a bulb went out, they were just like, yeah, you toss it.
Get rid of it.
A 70-inch that was probably 1,000 pounds.
Yeah.
I just got a TV yesterday.
I just bought one.
And I was looking at Facebook Marketplace for a long time because it was like they're brand new.
People are just getting rid of them, and they're like $100.
Yeah.
And I was like, all right, maybe I can find one in my area in West Village and just like walk over and get it today and then have a TV.
And I found someone, brand new TV,
the exact TV that I wanted,
messaging them, going back and forth.
I'm like, alright, what's your address? I'll come pick it up right now.
And they're in Yonkers.
Did you do it? Just ghosted them completely.
Oh.
Going a fucking hour and a half away.
Standing on a curb in Yonkers
with a TV in their hand? Oh, they might be.
Dude, that would cost me more than just buying a new TV to go all the way to Uber, all the way to Yonkers and back.
That would be like $200.
Shit.
Or just being the guy on public transit.
On your lap.
Yeah.
That would be brutal.
So where did you wind up going to get it?
I just ordered one of mine.
And it's still probably like $129.
I thought it was going to be cheaper. It just ordered one of mine. And it's still probably like $129. It was,
I thought it was
going to be cheaper.
It was like $300.
Yeah.
For a 50 inch.
That's not bad.
No.
Damn, bro,
I've been telling you
that I have a TV
in my closet
that I don't need.
Yeah, but what,
how would I get it?
I'll bring it in one day.
You'll bring a TV in?
I'll bike in
with the fucking TV.
Yeah.
How am I going to get that?
It does not live far away.
You could go get that
no problem.
World of T-shirts
comes in from Melville every day.
Without fault.
Probably with a TV.
On top of two hours a week at Burger King.
Is that where he works?
Yeah.
They cut him down to two hours a week.
Before they cut him down to two.
He's making a double whopper and a sundae pie.
Somebody made a mortal mistake yesterday on the train to him.
What happened?
Oh, they flucked.
It was two nights ago.
Flucked the bill of his captain's hat.
I'll sue your ass.
Unemployed piece of shit.
We called them unemployed?
Yeah.
Two hours?
That's a bargain.
Harness your wages.
It's probably just a job that he has to tell stories
because he makes so much on the creator's fund and shit like that.
He's made about $56,000 year to date on the creator fund.
Say about.
That feels like it's exact.
Well, yeah.
$56,000 for what?
Two years of work?
Yeah.
He's making enough to just fund his drinking.
But also he makes about $300
a weekend doing tours.
What does he spend money on?
What's his expenses?
He gambles now.
And he gambles now.
Slots.
Slots.
I have a gift.
If we want to do a gift.
A child?
Congratulations. Congratulations. I have a gift. If we want to do a gift. What? Child. A gift.
Congratulations.
A child.
Yeah, congratulations.
We kind of buried the lead on that one.
Third time's a charm.
We had to talk about World of T-shirts first.
I have a gift, though.
It's been a long time coming.
Should we do it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I think I don't have a clue.
It's not going to be a gift.
I don't have a clue what this is.
I think I might know what it is.
Brandon, I guess open it?
Yeah, actually, you know what?
Brandon, I think it might be your gift.
I think it might be your gift.
All right.
Go ahead, open the box.
You want me to open it?
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
Brad Pitt.
Oh, yeah.
Seven. Brandon's opening the box? Brad Pitt.
Brandon's opening the box.
That's the only time he's been described as a seven.
Whoa.
Is it shoes?
Brandon's roller skates.
Brandon's roller skates.
I bought them like three months ago.
Finally, we're sitting on my desk.
Oh my god, they're huge.
Put those poppies on, Brandon. They're like two submarines on wheels. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Finally, we're sitting on my desk. Oh, my God. They're huge. Put those puppies on, Brandon.
Damn.
They're like two submarines on wheels.
That's awesome.
I think that's why it took so long.
I thought they were Nazi boots at first.
I thought they were, yeah.
I thought they were 14.
This makes me wish I got roller skates.
These are awesome.
Yeah, Brandon.
Damn.
Damn.
They're sexy.
Do a lap, Brandon.
Black leather.
A couple laps going for the boys.
It's going to take a while to put them on.
It's BDSM Brandon I know what the fuck
Those are kinky boots
Step on my cock
Oh you want me to step on your cock in these
Come on Brandon
Brandon can you really
You can ride with those things
We're gonna find out
I haven't roller skated since I was like eight.
I'm going to ramp up.
It'd be so dope if like as a show we could skate in formation.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
The old, like the five old dudes that are like going cruising together.
You know who's surprisingly good at that?
Young skinny black dudes.
Yes.
They'll go to the rink and they'll be like.
Zippity-doo-dah, zippity-day.
Man, the young skinny black dudes are good at rhythm.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
Roller skating is so hard.
I've never roller skated before.
So much harder than rollerblading.
Rollerblading is easy. Roller skating is fucking
way harder. Is this how this all started?
Because we had this conversation.
You missed a hole, Brandon. How did this start?
No, we said roller skates Missed a hole, Brandon. How did this start? No, we said
roller skates. You're like 300 bucks.
Brandon, you missed holes, bro.
I just want to get them home.
I don't think that's a bad idea to not have them be tied.
Do them properly.
We have like
two hours for you to roller skate around this place.
K probably has some OCD.
You're like 10 pounds.
We gotta figure out place. Kate probably has some OCD. You're like 10 pounds. Yeah, I can make it. You have to start
all the way at
the top.
We got to figure
out, Connor Griffin,
can you figure out
why I bought these?
Was it Rollerblade
week or something?
Roller skate week?
No, I said.
No, it was we were
watching videos and
we watched the video
that Kate was just
talking about.
Synchronized fellows.
And then I think
something happened
with Brandon was
saying he could
Rollerblade but not Roller skate. Yeah. And then we got him happened with Brandon was saying He could rollerblade
But not roller skate
Yeah
And then we got him roller skates
Were we talking about
The movie Roll Bounce?
On the prep sheet
I put Brandon Walker
Looks like a type of guy
Who knows how to roller skate
Ah
And he said that he did
Back in his day
Two months later
Here they are
I'm so excited
To see him on these
He's going to get hurt
He's busting his
He's going to break his coccyx I don't think he is He's going to get very hurt I have this weird idea in my head That he's going to go out on these He's going to get hurt He's going to break his coccyx
I don't think he is
I have this weird idea in my head that he's going to go out there and he's going to be twirling
It's really hard, especially with the brakes up front
The brakes up front
You have to toe yourself
You can't stop
There's no way to stop
Can you ice skate, Brandon?
No, I've never tried
Roller skates are always in Santa's bag It's like the default Santa gift No way to stop. Can you ice skate, Brandon? No, I've never tried. Never tried.
Roller skates are always in Santa's bag.
Yeah.
It's like the default Santa gift.
It's like the oldest gift.
Yeah.
It's like that and a circle with a stick of wood.
To those two things.
Something wooden. Yeah, that was.
There's always a lot of wood.
Yeah, where you just have a wooden circle just go down the road.
Yeah, that was it.
Was that all that was?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, when we went to LA for the Super Bowl last year, remember I had to roller skate?
Yeah.
Roller blade.
Yeah, you did.
That shit was way harder than I remember it being.
I don't remember that.
That's left.
Oh, yeah.
I couldn't tell either. Look at those things. They're fucking enormous. Oh, yeah, I couldn't tell either.
Look at those things.
They're fucking...
Oh, yeah.
They're worm-ish.
You got to pull those socks up, brother.
You're going to get...
I saw that order, and they're like,
what man could do this?
They're footy socks.
Oh, I didn't know they were footies.
Pull them up.
I didn't know they were footies.
Come on up.
Footy socks.
We got to get you booty shorts.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
What do you mean?
It's not...
Your dick's not in them.
I've got to pee before I put on these skates.
Why do you have to pee first?
He's just never coming back.
Yeah, he's done.
He's running out the door.
He's gonna just jump through a double window.
I'm guessing he does a split.
Unintentionally. I think that the legs go out from under him like this. Oh'm guessing he does a split. Unintentionally.
I think that the legs go out from under him like this.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Fucking ass hard on this concrete floor.
It's been written in the stars because Quigs has been using that sound effect for every video he's been putting out.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
We need to get a camera in the hallway.
TJ and have him just fucking go full force.
Hey, you're nice at fucking lacing those.
Yeah, that's good. That's good work.
Good work. Happy Mother's Day, kid.
Thank you. Well, wait, I don't want to be
nosy, but what's the tease? Yeah, you had to
go back from rough and rowdy.
Oh, yeah. What happened?
It was crazy. It was crazy.
What happened? Can you break it down from your perspective?
Got to West Virginia.
Joked on the way being like this is
kind of close like it's only like a 12-hour trip got to west virginia was there for probably an
hour or so did you have any inkling no no inkling uh right before the doors opened got a call she
was like yeah my water just broke i was was like, okay. That changes things.
He had a national anthem to an empty arena so that I could at least still have the national anthem.
Was it your fastest national anthem to date?
It was my most emotional.
Okay.
I was thinking about if I miss.
Dave, I think Dave did say, like, what does it matter if you miss it?
I was like, he's like, you just tell him that you were there.
And I was like, except for the fact that you could look up the date and see me calling shizat
oh no that'd be the worst reason to miss your child's birth
but um hop right back on the flight uh shout out out the guys who got us there and got me back quickly.
Got to the hospital like 8.45.
Baby was born at 10.30.
Oh, wow.
Holy shit.
Wasn't that much time.
Bang, bang.
Yeah, wasn't that much time that I had to waste there.
So were you on the plane alone?
Yeah.
What do you do on the plane alone?
I was just texting for updates. Yeah. It definitely felt a little lavish to be on the plane alone? I was just texting for updates.
It definitely felt a little lavish to be on a plane alone.
That's cool.
But yeah, it was crazy.
Everything went well.
The whole family went home yesterday.
So now I've got three kids.
Wow.
Congratulations.
It's already a lot.
Three is a lot of kids.
Yes, three is a lot of kids.
My daughter and my son have to sleep in the same room now,
and that was a disaster last night.
So they just alternated waking each other up.
Whose turf was it originally?
My son's.
Okay.
So she.
He actually had, there was a moment where I cleaned out his whole room,
like moved some shit around to get her crib in there,
and he was just like, look how much room I have.
And I was like, buddy.
Uh-uh.
Not at all.
So, yeah.
Brandon, go higher on that right one.
Get all the way up.
You're going to ruin your ankle.
This is very bad, Brandon.
It has to be so much cleaner.
Place the rest of it.
It has to support your ankles.
Otherwise, you'll literally hurt yourself.
Yeah.
Shout out to everyone who reached out, all the people tweeted and everything.
It's always kind of shocking.
People don't hate you like you see all the other days
when people are like, fuck this, fuck that.
It's like, no, people really, really love you.
People are really, really nice.
Yeah, there was one guy, it actually felt like therapeutic,
like I was walking in the hospital,
and this guy was like,
there's no way you would have traveled
if your wife was that pregnant.
You guys just did this to get views.
And I just fired off a quick, shut the fuck up, buddy.
And then he deleted the tweet, and I was like, stop.
I thought you meant in person.
I thought you meant he sent it to you.
Yeah, I thought it was in the hospital.
It was the doctor.
Yeah, it's the OBGYN.
Yeah, he tweeted.
The brain surgeon.
Yeah.
I just.
It's the last thing.
He's coming off of a 36-hour
surgery. He's been waiting to watch Rough and Rowdy
all day.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Oh no, here he goes.
There's zero ankle support.
Oh no!
You gotta get a camera on him.
You gotta get him a helmet.
It's like he's on ice right now.
He might die, dude.
He's gotta get out there.
Make sure he sees where the camera is.
Tell him to get out in the middle.
Oh, he's going to get caught.
Oh, no.
Oh, he just went down.
This is really bad.
What a good gift.
Just keep him right in there.
No idea.
Chase, spot him, Chase.
This is the best ever.
Oh, no.
I don't think people realize how hard roller skating is.
I did.
No idea.
It's nowhere near rollerblading.
Oh, no.
He can't even stand still.
Is it core strength or leg strength, ankle strength?
But it's also just like a very odd, because you're like wearing, it's just weird.
I've tried it before and I sucked just like this.
If you could see up close how loose I am.
Oh yeah, he's going fast now.
How's he going to stop himself?
He has nowhere to grab.
Bad idea getting away.
Oh, spider, no.
Oh no.
The door is not the door.
He should not be going out free like that away from any.
I'll say though, his calves look amazing.
As long as he falls forward, he's okay.
If he falls backwards...
He's way too tall for this.
I want him in the New York City streets.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Oh, he missed the door.
I want to see him go down the block real bad.
Oh, no, oh, no.
He's got to restart.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, there we go.
Carpet's nice.
It's the sassiest walk.
I know.
It's a very sassy walk.
High-ass heels.
How's it feel?
Terrifying.
I don't like it at all.
Do a lap.
How do you even start?
Yeah, we got to get you in a lap.
Do a lap.
Lace them up all the way and do a lap.
Wait, let's all bet on how long.
Yeah, let's get spy cam going.
Let's get him a whole lap.
Spy cam?
Yeah, we'll have someone follow you.
I can't go a lap around here.
You can.
Can I go practice?
Yeah.
Practice right in the middle.
Practice right in the middle.
Don't hurt yourself.
Right here, back and forth.
Oh, my God.
Can you not just push off like you would like roller
skates or blades oh this is awesome hope like investors come yeah hope like uh regulators
yeah or like remember when j-lo was in the lobby all. They're walking the same across the...
There he goes.
It would take him seven minutes to do a full lap.
He's got this.
I don't think he would make it a full lap.
He is just way too tall.
It's like his whole top of his body.
I want to see someone who's good at it.
So top heavy if he falls
Someone here in the building
Has to be good at it
Here he goes
He's going to stand there
And let everyone pass
Here we go
Oh man
He's already getting better
Yeah
He's close to being a pro.
Yeah, he's getting his confidence.
But that's when you get really hurt
is when you start to think you can
fix his hair.
Really?
How do you get him one of the crates,
like the milk crates to balance on?
Oh, whoa.
Oh, I thought he was going backwards.
How the hell did that even happen? Oh, I thought he was going backwards. How the hell did that even happen?
This is awesome.
Go again, Brandon.
Go, go.
Go, go, go.
He's not even...
No, I don't think he's rollers.
He's pushing back and forth.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
That was a split.
This body is not.
He can't.
He's not flexible.
He's an athlete, but he's not flexible.
As a man, both body and mentally.
He's not going to be able to get back up.
That was a split.
So out of breath.
Danny's just looking at me.
Disgusting.
You fuck.
In Staten Island, we have roller skating parties every Saturday night.
You piece of shit.
Yeah, you just got to get up with the toes.
Get up with the toes.
Oh, no.
Oh.
It's going to be bad.
No butt crack.
None.
Still no butt crack.
There was a fighter that had no butt crack this weekend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very long.
I know.
It looks so much fun.
Rough and rowdy.
It was a classic. It was. Or it's just, I mean. Oh, no. I know. It looks so much fun. Rough and rowdy. It was a classic.
Or it's just, I mean.
Oh, no.
Jesus Christ.
It's on the ground.
It's on the ground.
Your kids might be watching.
You've got a family.
Tommy's probably laughing his ass off.
Yeah.
We should get Tommy's help.
What did he?
Please.
Yeah, he's turning down help.
It's your weakness.
Oh, no. Oh, no. A lot of events. Letting a woman help him. turning down help oh no oh no
live events
letting a woman
help him
alright we're gonna do
one
you gotta do
one full lap
uh oh
you look
you're a lot better
you look good out there
way better
way better
you're getting a handle
of it I think
I can't do a lap
yeah you can
just lace it up
all the way
it'll be easier
if someone helps Keep saying that.
That's not the problem.
It is.
What's the problem?
You're out of breath.
Why are you out of breath?
You were just gliding.
Oh, yeah.
All you did was push off.
You were standing still.
We saw that split.
That wasn't...
I don't like that.
Ripped your jaw.
Tall ass dude.
That was a 7-10 split.
One lap? Yeah. What time is the was a 7-10 split. One lap?
Yeah.
What time is the show going to?
About 2.30?
Yeah.
All right, I'll be back by 2.30.
All right, we need to get the camera.
Yeah, set it up and just follow him.
Connor Griffin's out there.
What do we think for time?
15 minutes.
Oh, I think he can get it in six minutes.
Can he push off objects?
He can push off objects. He has to. I think seven can get it in six minutes. Can he push off objects? He can push off objects.
He has to.
I think seven minutes and 48 seconds.
There's some areas where there's nothing to push off of.
No chance.
Three minutes and 45 seconds.
If I can get going good, maybe.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm going to say nine.
Let's just predict.
Yeah.
I said 345 is mine.
748.
You believe me, too.
All right, I'm going to go 1036.
I love you, brother.
All right. Everybody put your times in the chat. Yeah. I said 345 is mine. 748. You believe me. I'm going to go 1036. I love you, brother. All right.
Everybody put your times in the chat.
Yeah.
Oh, show some respect.
It's a perfect time.
515.
It's ultimate satisfaction.
Oh, you can walk around.
Just walk.
Just walk like that and you'll make it.
Oh, because it gets slippery.
Brandon, I wish you would wear a helmet.
You should.
Put on the hat.
Put on the big hat.
Put on the big hat.
Put on the big hat.
It will help.
No, that will help.
Put on the big hat. No. Okay big hat. Put on the big hat. That will help. No, that will help. Put on the big hat.
No.
Okay.
So the bill doesn't hurt it.
Just take out the padding so he wears just the padding.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
What an idea.
Good call.
That's actually.
That's actually.
Oh, yeah.
That actually might be more effective than a normal helmet.
That's like the new NFL helmets.
Yeah.
That's exactly what they do.
Yeah, he looks like that fucking juggernaut helmet.
Like the Padres.
The spy cam, and we need a timer.
Wait.
Wait.
All right, here we go.
One of the best walks in the office.
Manoli scurrying.
That's a crazy walk.
Ready, Brandon?
It takes six foot steps, or six inches.
All right, here we go.
Every time Manoli walks.
I knew that's his walk. Look at his walk. Three, two, one takes six inches. All right, here we go. Every time and only walk. I knew that's his style.
Look at his walk.
Three, two, one, go.
He's going that way.
He's of a xylophone.
Oh, he's going that way.
Oh, he's crushing this.
He's flying.
Oh, he's good.
He's going too fast.
He's going too fast.
He looks so big.
The helmet gave him confidence.
He looks enormous.
He's caught a groove here down there.
We can push in the one leg.
He was kind of playing us, I think. Yeah. Dude, yeah, what? He can enormous. He's got a groove here down there. We can push in the one leg. He was kind of playing us, I think.
Dude, yeah, what?
He can move.
He's going to do this in three minutes.
What did I say?
Yeah.
Let's see.
Oh, the turns are going to be.
Oh, no.
You got to stay lean forward.
This is best bet.
Oh, no.
Get up, get up.
Yeah.
Apollo, oh, no. Just tail bet. Oh, no. Get up. Get up. Yeah. Apollo. Oh, no.
Just tailbone.
Oh, yes.
Look at that ass.
I know.
Sheesh.
Go, Brandon.
Go.
Go, Brandon.
Go.
Not even a minute yet.
What he should do is he should just lean onto one of those chairs and push it with him.
That would be very smart.
Oh, he's doing the skateboard technique, just pushing with one foot.
Yeah, look at that.
Now the turns are tough.
Totally goofy foot. But if he could whip himself Now the turns are tough. Totally goofy foot.
But if he could whip himself around the turn.
Uh-oh, corner.
Oh, that was a nice slow turn.
There it is.
Oh, there it is.
It's home.
Good.
Wow.
Uh-oh.
It's the aerodynamics of the wall.
Who's going to be the funny guy that tries to mess up his...
Clemmer will probably lay down in front of him like Tienemann's character.
Stick in front of him?
Nine more minutes for me.
Clemmer's legs were shocking.
Oh!
I thought that was photoshopped.
I did too.
It was.
It was?
Yeah.
I did the reverse big head on him.
But the legs were still that skinny, right?
He has very, very stick legs,
but I did make them smaller.
He's good.
Andy has a fat, juicy ass.
Looks like Toad.
Oh, he's getting winded?
We didn't expect that.
Ow, ow.
Forgot about stamina.
Oh.
He was...
Got in a quarter zip.
Not much to grab onto over here.
And he's got to get over wires, I think.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, here he goes. This is the hardest part. Nah, he's got to get over wires, I think. Oh, yeah. Oh, here he goes.
This is the hardest part.
Nah, he's got it.
He's doing good.
He's doing really good.
He might beat three.
He's coming up on a pothole here.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, boy.
There's a couple big ones over there.
Oh.
Got around it.
Good cornering.
He is full.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa.
He's going to beat three minutes. He's right here. He's going to be three minutes.
He's right here.
He's going to be three minutes.
He's got it.
Go, Brandon, go.
Here he comes.
Yeah.
He is...
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, that was real.
That was very real.
Get up!
Thank God he has that bunt cake around his head.
That was a great idea, Nick.
Wear that all the time.
Time.
244.
Wow.
Wow, Brandon.
244.
I didn't believe in you enough, brother.
244.
You flew.
You crushed that.
Walking with confidence.
You found your rhythm, too, with the push-off.
I did about halfway there.
Yeah.
We saw it.
We were doing the stanky leg.
Yeah.
I got a breath.
Wow.
That hat looks good on you.
Keep those on because at the end of the show,
we'll see if you can beat your time.
Will.
Yeah.
Can somebody else do it?
No.
It's yours.
I was 14, bro.
I was swimming those, bro.
What's your time?
2.45. 2.45. Fuck, I was swimming those, bro. What's your time? 2.45.
2.45.
Fuck, I was about to give you a three-minute warning.
Two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two.
That too?
Oh, that ruled.
Time out.
He's taking a time out.
Time out, time out.
You're going to be so sore tomorrow.
That wasn't that bad.
Oh, that was really impressive.
Yeah, it was.
You had that skateboard technique with pushing with the brake. Is that what it was? You looked like a pug on a skateboard. Yeah, it was. You had that skateboard technique with like pushing with the brake.
Is that what it was?
You looked like a pug on a skateboard.
Yeah, you looked good out there.
How do you push off?
Damn good, Brandon.
How do you push off?
I don't know.
Isn't it like a sideways?
It's like you're supposed to go.
Does anyone want to try to beat that time?
Yes.
Yeah, I think someone else should try.
I can't put them.
I don't think they're going to.
My feet are too tiny.
All you got to do is release them up tight.
Wear your shoes. I'm wearing a nine right now, think they're going to. My feet are too tiny. All you got to do is lace them up tight. Wear your shoes.
I'm wearing a nine right now, and they're baggy on my feet.
He's got a baggy.
You should be baggy.
Your feet are almost.
You should never be baggy.
Fully laced Converse just slipping off your foot.
Yeah.
I got small feet.
Draft somebody to do it?
Big guy?
No, no, no.
You got it later.
Let's take an hour break.
I bet you Big T's good.
We'll yak, and then you'll beat it.
All right.
I can't beat it.
Anyone who can whistle well can definitely roller skate well.
Who do you think couldn't beat it?
I'm a damn good whistler.
Could come close.
I don't think Nate could roller skate.
No, Nate roller blades.
I would like to see him do it.
Nate blades everywhere.
Okay, he'd be better.
He's like the one person that blades the most.
Who is this guy in the red quarters that you bladed past?
I don't know, but he found it hysterical.
It's like that politician.
I thought there was guys here from Syracuse.
Oh, this guy.
We were giving him a tour earlier.
There were Syracuse students here, I think.
We're adding employees.
Whiteman would be so good at it.
So good.
He'd be going backwards around.
Whiteman's dressed.
He's going to a pool party in Dubai.
He's always dressed.
He's always prepped.
He's always ready.
On Monday.
On Monday. Got to be ready for a. He's always ready. On Monday. On Monday.
Got to be ready for a pool party at all times.
Never know.
I think the split, though, seriously hurt me.
Yeah.
No, we know.
We know.
Are there scratches there?
Are those stretch marks on the inside of your thigh?
No, that's my tick bite.
You weren't here last week.
Oh, yeah, you got bit by a tick.
Took them down for a few days.
What are the other things underneath it?
Well, that's remnants of the tick bite.
No, that's a scratch or a stretch really fucked you up.
A lot of fellas have stretch marks.
Scratch, for sure.
No shame in it.
No, I got stretch marks.
Yeah, you don't.
I've had stretch marks before on my fucking brother.
It's just I do, brother.
You've been fat.
Not like you, but I've been fat like you, brother.
That didn't help.
Didn't help much at all you're skinniest
that's what Roan hit
I'm good
what else we're talking about
still struggling to breathe
that's a good gift
I hope you use them
going to
well Stephen Chase
going against Nadeau
which is
oh yeah
can someone summarize
the full
it's addicting
it's addicting I don't blame i went
down a rabbit hole and i did uh did you guys see steven's blog he asked me to write two jokes for
it that is not true i told nick i was annoyed with him this morning because i mean i wrote
myself in like 30 minutes or so and then i posted it and uh a lot of the comments were like those
are too funny nick definitely wrote jay jay had bars they had bars this is the one i screenshotted he said uh talking about nadu i
guess fan is a trigger word for a guy who's rumored to not have air conditioning in the
amish capital united states that was i know you had that hey you got a little bit yeah that's
funny what's happening what's good brandon you good oh no what are you looking
for uh so yeah you want to explain it steven because i told you he can call in sure i'm on
the do side to be honest on uh on friday the knicks got eliminated and he posted a video of
just him laughing maniacally and then giving the middle finger of the camera as maybe like a six second video and the and the title of the tweet was just nicks so at the time i was pissed
so i didn't say anything but i was just like that's annoying so when the sixers got eliminated
he posted a tweet that was talking about the sixers or whatever so i just posted the video
of him laughing um kind of just being like uh hey your team lost too yeah but then he
got very defensive and was like hey i bet celtics money line catch up and i was like what uh i
thought that was odd considering the line was like minus 280 minus 285 something something crazy
juice before the game they're like eight point favorites or six point favorites um and then
i wrote fake fan because everyone here is a fan of something so i associated
him with philadelphia sports if his team loses i expect them to just take that like the rest of
the city like you know like rome like smitty like connor like everybody that was associated
with philadelphia sports like kate everybody i was devastated yeah um so he didn't and then just continued to dig this weird hole where he was saying he bet it and i was
like okay and the part that kind of got me and i honestly don't care if he better or not but the
part that is borderline offensive is that he thinks it's really lame to be a fan of a team
and he's like i'm all about my money i don't care about fandom it's like all right well this company
is literally built on people's fandom everyone is a fan of something this could have
ended in two seconds after my tweet of his video if you've just been like oh fuck yeah it sucks
but instead it turned into this much deeper thing and then yeah he he dm'd me and he was like let's
take this off public he's like i just posted about in the celtics what i don't know what the deal is and i responded like dude i don't know what's going on with their
social right now if you're a runner if somebody else is but like tighten it up like oh tighten it
up this is great too because the do versus jay is a battle of two guys that never understand
sarcasm so they could like it escalated from joke to like world war three instant instantly he wrote and i don't
think this is airing out dms he's just saying what he he's trying to get his message across
concisely he says i'll take this off public i don't think the sixers would win today and i bet
against him steven that's it i said i was just trying to give you some guff for your team losing
and i have no idea what the hell you're doing over there. You have to take L's. That's part of the gig.
I'm going to blog this later.
I can't not, but tighten it up.
That was the second tighten it up or that was the first one?
That was the first.
People have been asking for his bet slip and he's been denying that.
He won't show it.
It's just a weird move to bet.
He was born in Hawaii.
Yeah.
I don't care about the best of.
If you're going to bet favorites that are like minus 280 money line, good for you.
I know that's the weirdest part.
He said money line?
Yeah, he said money line.
If he believed in it so much and he was so right, why wouldn't he?
He said he went like really big on it.
It's like, all right.
So I think he either didn't place the bet on our sportsbook or his big might not be.
But you can post it.
If it is our sportsbook, you don't have to.
You can hide the wager.
Yeah, that's true.
Good point.
Yeah.
So, honestly, I don't care about that anymore.
It's stupid.
I don't think that he, if I'm being honest, I don't think he really placed it,
but maybe he did.
I don't care.
If he did, I don't think that really proves anything.
But he called it the day before, though.
He did say that
before he was like, yeah, Sixers aren't winning this.
That's fine. My only question is,
if the Sixers won,
would he have done the
laughing thing at Dave and Hank?
Yes. That is bullshit.
You can't play both sides of the fence.
Think he would have done the laughing thing at Dave?
I don't know. He respects Dave.
He's about respect. He respects Dave. I don't know. Because did he do the laughing thing at you? I don't know. I don't know. He's about respect. He respects Dave.
I don't know.
Because did he do the laughing thing at you, or was he just like Nick's laughing?
He doesn't respect Che, because that's bullshit.
Why would he respect Che at all?
Well, you don't respect him.
You don't respect Nate.
Oh, I don't know at all.
Yeah, exactly.
None of these guys respect him, so what do you expect from him?
To reciprocate nothing?
Yeah, to reciprocate no respect.
I don't think Che had ever shown anything disrespectful at all.
No, I've met him half a dozen times.
He's always been perfectly...
But he didn't come at you.
He just said Knicks in general.
He wasn't like Stephen Che.
Correct.
This is the video he uses all the time.
Yes.
That's funny.
It's actually an iteration of the video that got him hired.
He laughs with his tongue.
Yeah, he went...
It adds a warble to it.
I got hired because I saw a clip of him laughing, and I showed it to Dave, and I was like, look at this guy.
He's calling card.
Boom, hired.
He's calling card.
You want to call him real quick?
I just have a question for him.
He's on.
Nadeau.
Yo, what's up?
What's going on, man?
How are you?
Good.
Congrats, Big Cat, on your child, man.
Thank you.
Congrats on your win yesterday.
Very honorable.
Thank you. Congrats on your win yesterday, Honorable. Thank you.
I should be celebrated for this instead of being destroyed.
This is ridiculous, bro.
You think people are out to get you?
Well, I don't know where the fuck Stephen Che gets off telling me to tighten up.
Who the fuck is he?
I assume you're tweeting, but if you have somebody else
running it, just stick to a messaging.
This went from you just being like,
alright, yeah, the Sixers lost.
Stupid. Steven, in the blog you talked
about, what the fuck does it matter that I played
230 money lines? What does that matter?
That's a crazy way to bet.
The implied win percentage
is 70%, Steven. You're an analytic guy.
You should know that. The return on investment is terrible.
Doesn't matter.
All right, so show your bets.
I'll bet you bet at 230.
I bet Floyd Mayweather on 450 when he plays Conor McGregor.
I bet you bet Conor.
Like the other fucking fanboys out there.
Ooh.
Don't care about that, bro.
What do you got against nacho eaters, Nadeau?
I didn't like that part.
Nachos are great.
They're top five, Nadeau.
Yeah. Andos are great. They're top five, Nadeau. Yeah.
I enjoy them.
If I take a graph for a little Mexican date or something,
go have tacos and nachos.
I love that, but I think the foam finger waving people
eating nachos are fucking lame.
I mean, the nachos are good.
I didn't like that.
Sorry.
I don't hate nachos.
Okay, all right.
That's all I wanted from you. You don't hate nachos okay all right that's all i
wanted from you uh do you want to you don't want to share your bet slip because that's what it
seems like people are demanding you know damn well if i did the fucking goalposts would be moved even
further i didn't really bet that that's i've heard it all before that's fake that's artificial
intelligence i i don't i'm not i'm not bowing down to some of these
fucking trolls
I'm not doing it
would you send me it
privately
and I'll give you my word
I will not post it
yes
okay
so that should solve it
because I can
I will
if I see it
I'm saying to do
that's the thing
if Steven
like a fucking human being
would have just contacted me
and said hey bro
I don't really think
you bet that
can you show me about that I'd have told him I he said he wanted to write a fucking blog being would have just contacted me and said, hey, bro, I don't really think you bet that. Can you show me you bet that?
I'd have told him.
Instead, he wanted to write a fucking blog, call me a liar.
That's our job.
By the way, you're all about analytics, yet you made one of the dumbest points I've ever
heard.
So you're telling me, Steven, that I have to bet on my team regardless of whether analytics
and data are behind it.
As long as it's my team, I have to bet it.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
I never said you had to bet it.
I just said I wouldn't bet against my team.
If you're a real fan of the team, which apparently...
Why?
If the Bucs aren't good, why would you bet on them?
That's ridiculous.
Because I'm a fan of the team and I support them.
You're a sucker, though.
If they're not good, why would you bet on them?
What are we doing?
That was OD.
Are you a sucker? Are you a sucker, Steve? People are saying you might be a sucker, though. If they're not good, why would you? What are we doing? That was OD.
Are you a sucker?
So let me clarify things.
I don't care.
I don't.
I don't. Let me talk for a second.
I don't care if you bet it or not.
I literally don't care.
You could show me the bets.
I don't care.
What I care about and what is borderline offensive is you being like being a fan of a team is
lame.
I think not caring for anything is lame. And for you to just be like well i only i only care about my bets okay then if the
eagles win this year don't celebrate it you don't deserve to because you're not a fan of the team
but there are numerous tweets of you being like i am a fan of the eagles i am a fan of the yankees
whatever so steven yes what is if i hate the sixes. I've been very fucking clear about that.
You have a tweet last year being like, James Harden, three in a row.
Everyone else is a sucker.
I like James Harden.
I've always liked James Harden.
That's a bad personality trait.
As an aside, to be like my guy's James Harden, that's tough.
I have a lot of similar interests.
Oh, all right.
Now you're back.
Yeah, you know, you like All right. Now you're back. Yeah.
You know, you like broads.
He likes broads.
Yeah.
We love, you know, big booty bitches.
Oh, okay.
Hey, what about, what about great racks?
He loves them too.
Exactly.
How's it get to the rack?
Are you an ass or a titty guy?
Yeah.
What?
He's an ass guy.
You're an ass guy.
No, he posts a lot of cleavage.
Well, yeah.
What are you, Nadeau?
What are you, dude?
Fuck fandom.
Which one are you?
Bro, that's such a hard question, man.
I always wrestle with that because...
I think it all played at night.
Why an ass one?
No, it's crazy because I go with ass.
A little bit more of the ass.
Make sure the peak of both.
What frustrates you
More to see
Yeah what makes you
Like bite a clenched fist
Where you're like
Oh man
Look at that
Oh yeah
In the blank
We've all been there
Where we're walking
Down the street
And we just see a fat ass
Yeah that's what I'm saying
That's what I'm saying
You understand
I understand
You understand
You ever see like
Those like black
Those black leather pants, man?
Like, land this plane.
Land this plane.
You ever see those big fucking black roller skates?
All right, so to do, you'll send me the slip.
I will not share it.
You have my word. And I'll confirm with it. I'll announce it on the slip. I will not share it. You have my word.
And I'll confirm with it.
I'll announce it on the act that I saw it.
Hey, Steven.
Yes.
Let me ask you two questions.
Why did you hide when I called you out to speak about this last night?
Wow.
I don't think hiding is the correct term.
Why am I going on YouTube?
You were tweeting the whole time,
Steven.
What are you talking about?
Yeah,
sure.
Part of our job is blogging.
So far,
you've done that twice this month.
I was hoping maybe you could do something that can drum up money.
This is part of our job,
dude.
I don't think you understand what we do here.
How many blogs have you written that weren't about the yak?
What were the blogs you wrote about stories you wanted to talk about?
Go.
Handful.
Yeah.
Jokic versus Embiid in the finals.
We pretty much have the same amount.
By the way, do you have a –
I write about the Yak.
This is a big part of what I do.
I have a lot of other things going on.
Do you?
So how many TikToks?
Yes, I do.
Okay.
Good for you.
Well, don't stay up working too hard tonight.
Do you guys have a bet challenge?
What's that?
Yeah, you guys are going to do a bet challenge?
According to you, yes.
I have nothing to gain from it, but I'd be happy to appease anything.
My record's pretty clear.
I post it every single day.
It is the record.
What's your ROI this year, Steven?
I can get that for you right now.
I believe it's plus 88 units on basketball.
That's not an ROI, Steven.
Plus your unit.
Plus 88.88.
We need to start building a deal.
Sorry, plus 81.88. Keep need to start building it up. Sorry, plus 81.88.
Came swinging.
114 and 82.
It should be easy work for you, this challenge.
Sure.
I'm excited to do more content with you.
So what happened last night, Nadeau?
He wouldn't come in your live?
I didn't.
No, he wrote a blog, and I think it's fair,
responded to I wanted to talk to him about
my side of the story and I did his faces and talking right now I did yeah I just wanted to
kind of grab content several different times last night he wrote the blog today I mean I'm just a
company man I'm looking forward to reading your response blog today I said this is a great topic
we need to get you guys in the same room.
It would be electric.
To do electric is like a power source.
No, they've been churning out content.
Yeah.
They do.
Are you a little bit?
I have fucking.
I have central air, by the way, fucker.
Nice.
You do, Walker.
They do. Let do, Walker.
Nate, dude, let me ask you.
Are you a little bit tired of guys like Steven and Brandon who wouldn't ever face-to-face come up to you and confront you
trying to do it online for brownie points from the stoolies?
Well, Brandon Walker's all about that.
He's the fucking definition of someone that does that.
The guy when I'm around never says a fucking word. You that does that the guy the guy when i'm
around never says a fucking word you're never around what the fuck are you around that's the
last time you were around you never say a word it's around you don't never say a word when he's
around what is your fucking what is your obsession with lancaster by the way i think it's hilarious
i i just think it's funny uh the other day and and I've told people, I use you for practice when I get bored.
The other day, somebody was mad at you online, and they made you mad online.
You quote tweeted them.
You're the most sensitive motherfucker at the company.
What are you going on about?
And then you quote tweeted that you don't live anywhere near the Amish.
They're 20 minutes away.
I thought that was hysterical.
That's a funny tweet.
30 miles away, Brandon.
30 miles away from me.
I don't see Amish ever.
No, dude. 30 miles. You can. I don't see Amish ever. No, dude.
30 miles.
You can get to them in, like, what, 25 minutes?
Takes them, what, four days to get to you?
I fucking had it with this.
I'm going to do a video series and prove all you fuckers wrong.
About what?
Oh, no.
It's about Lancaster and what it's about.
I like it.
Yes.
Like a little tour.
Yeah, it's like Michael Scott's Scranton, you know, when he does the Scranton video.
Yeah, we need that.
Yeah.
It's cute as a button.
My mom and I go sometimes.
Mean Streets.
Because it's like 30% Puerto Rican.
All the homemade bread and stuff.
Is it true that there are specific parking spots at stores for buggies?
In the county, yeah. Not in the county. That's in Lancaster County? In the county, yeah.
In the city as well.
In the city too?
I've never seen them in the city, no.
Would you be shocked
if you saw one?
No, but I've never
seen them.
Alright, so you guys are going to do
a bet off. We'll have to figure out the details. I'll give you them. Okay. All right. So, yeah, you guys are going to do a bet off.
We'll have to figure out the details.
I'll give you each 500 bucks.
Sure.
Maybe we'll go until, like, the end of the NBA playoffs.
And whoever has the most money, you have to post every slip beforehand.
I always do.
Yeah.
And whoever ends up with the most money wins.
Any other person has to apologize.
Loser apologizes?
Yeah, loser apologizes.
Stakes are high.
I'll even do it in person and shake his hand if I lose.
Wow.
The city in the United States of America with the highest Amish population is Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
What is your fucking brain?
It's just fascinating to me.
Amish really fascinates me. What's just fascinating to me. I'm just really fascinated. I live in the city park.
What?
Whatever.
I live in the city park.
Again, I don't care about the best of all.
I want one thing, and this company is about accountability.
When, if not for the Sixers, can you hold an L?
Steven.
Just define it.
If you know me.
I don't.
I have all the accountability.
Did you watch Yak basketball? I don't have fucking shame, Steven. I don't care. Yeah, that was funny. I won know me. I don't. I have all the accountability. Did you watch Yak basketball?
I don't have fucking shame, Steven.
I don't care.
Yeah, that was funny.
I will say when I'm wrong, and I will say when I'm right.
I was right that I bet the fucking team that won by 30
against a fucking mediocre loser organization
that doesn't fucking win in the playoffs.
Can I ask you a real question?
This is a real question, not a joke question.
If you were so sure they were going to win and they were going to win comfortably,
why did you bet the money line and not the spread?
I had the line.
I made the line personally six.
I felt that 70% implied probability on the line at the money line was the right plot.
That's why I bet it.
You can move the line on the Barstool Sportsbook to whatever you want to move it to.
I know.
But I was just concerned that it was going to be one of those, like,
last, you know, bucket or two type of games.
But I felt like the Celtics at home had a major edge.
There was just – I wanted the money line.
That's what I did.
I don't – in the end, it doesn't matter to me.
I don't have problems laying juice.
Like, a lot of sharp, you sharp, good gamblers do that.
I have no issue doing it.
Okay.
All right.
Well, to be continued, Nadeau.
Thank you.
Send me that slip and I will back you up.
I will exonerate you publicly.
Nadeau, any dates coming up?
Yeah, actually.
So I have a lunch date this week.
I actually declined last night a chick.
She had reached out about 10 o'clock.
I can show you my text.
You were fighting with Steve today.
They're too busy fighting.
Yeah, I had a lot going on.
Send that text to him.
Usually don't decline women for men, but, I mean, in this case, we had a lot going on.
I got some, you know, stokes and a fire.
We're working.
You paying or going Dutch?
Say that again, bro?
Pay for dates or do you go Dutch typically?
What?
Don't fucking disrespect me with this.
Come on, man.
Are you crazy?
Do you invite them up to your room, Springer?
Hey, Kate, listen.
You're the only woman on the panel.
If I ever,
then I'm on a date with a woman
and I sent up,
my brother told me, if he told me he had, he paid, she paid on a date with a woman and I sent up my brother told me
if he told me
he had
he paid
she paid for a date
I'd smack him in the fucking head
I'd never make a girl pay
you should never make a girl pay
if you do
you're a fucking
low life
you're a crumb
hell yeah
you ever had dippy eggs?
love them
they're my favorite eggs
they're the best
the hole in the bread
I just searched Amish words
And that was the first result
Yeah
Dippy eggs
It's like a
Sunny side up
Love it
Alright so
Eat them when I'm drunk
Big Cat
They're the best
Like that
Like that
Alright so Nadeau
Yeah good luck with the women this week
Do you think
Do you think that Jeff Nadeau
Would ever settle down
He's gonna
He's He's gonna have a few BMs.
Okay.
Well, if it's the perfect tits and ass.
If it's the perfect tits and ass.
I still don't think so.
There's always better.
Well, I have a couple of – I have two chicks right now that I'm actively speaking to.
We hang out.
They have major potential.
I would like to someday i i consider my i
think they're right probably multiple bms you know trying to keep everybody happy my whole mantra in
life guys is i make one miserable when i can make them all happy you know so i don't oh shit come on
what's your age range to do um i'm not interested really in anybody under the age of like 28 27
solid i mean i might bend it occasionally like a 25 year old but i prefer like women around my age
or a bit older in the end i do want a woman to have some intelligence we can have a conversation
i'm talking to a girl right now it loves mafia history So we really hit it off
I like girls I can have a conversation with
Hell yes
More to just the world than tits and ass
You gotta have a little intelligence
Maybe that's the answer to do
Maybe it's when everyone asks tits or ass
You say a woman's brain
Yeah
True
It's definitely on the list
Not number one or two but it's there yeah yeah for
sure for sure uh all right okay we'll talk yes i mean that's something we'll talk in the future
for this uh betting competition sounds good okay thanks to do what you have to do what a legend
hey why do you pick on him, Brandon? I love the
Roan smile. Nobody makes you
happier. Yeah, because he's the
real deal.
He's the real deal. He said mediocre.
I was rich.
Just like also just the
idea of him like waking up
with like night terrors being like, maybe I'm a
tits guy.
Oh, I'm at sleep.
He's like, I wrestle with this.its guy. Oh, I'm ass. He can't sleep. Yeah.
He's like, I wrestle with this.
Is he in downtown Lancaster, Ron?
Where is he? That's what he said.
Yeah, he's in the city.
He's not a county boy.
Yeah, okay.
City boy.
Would be funny if he did a whole video
and there was just a shitload of Amish people
in the background.
Or he does a video and he gets shot by a gang member.
He's like I told you.
He's pumped.
Yes!
It's the 104th biggest metropolitan area in the United States.
Hear that, Brandon? 104.
It's number one for Amish people.
It's a crazy mix.
It's a crazy mix.
I don't know why it bothers him.
That's what makes it so funny.
It is kind of enjoyable to see him squirm,
but I just want to see him squirm but i just
want to see him have some accountability for he didn't make the bet that's fine it's whatever
i don't i don't care about that just let me just let me know when i can post the laughing video
is it when this eagle season ends is it when the sixers is it when the yankees i don't know
i think it's when one of his dates goes bad, maybe. Right. Big fat titties are outlawed.
When Sidney Sweeney gets married.
Yeah.
What a fucking character.
As much as this company.
Your big titties are illegal to do.
I love that laugh.
The video of him dancing like he's at the club from like 05.
Can you find that, TJ?
Oh, that thing.
That was one of my favorite videos ever.
He's like one of the floating heads in Home Alone when they're like,
you're what the French call les incompetents.
Look what you did, you little jerk.
And it's just Nedu's head.
They're all going to laugh at you. They're all going to laugh at you.
They're all going to laugh at you.
March, march.
They're all going to laugh at you.
Wizard of Oz when everything's going by in the tornado.
That's his head.
I'll take these off.
Oh, you got to beat your record.
Or you can beat it right now.
I'll beat it.
So, Brandon, that whole conversation I looked over,
you had the wiki how open of how to roller skate.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
Yeah.
Once you read how to do it, you'll be able to do it perfectly.
Apparently you start with feet out and you duck walk
and then you emerge from the crouch.
Oh, there it is.
Look at him.
This is Nadeau in the club.
Is this his house?
There's Michael. There he is. Okay. That's his room is Nadeau in the club. Is this his house? There's Michael.
There he is.
Okay.
That's his room that he streams in all the time.
Obviously, you don't watch his streams, Kate.
I don't.
I know I should.
I'm going to start.
Yeah.
If you were at Merge and Seaside, 2003 to 2005, pretty much everyone knew you wouldn't
know in Idaho where the fuck it is, bumblefuck, that you live.
Damn.
It's crazy because I think he was probably a senior in high school in 2003.
The dude was getting after it.
Yeah, he was in the fake ID club then if he was in Seaside around then.
Look at him dancing.
Did Rico go to Seaside?
Is that Belmar?
No, Belmar is different, right?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know the Jersey Shore points.
Seaside is further down, I think, right?
Is it?
That would just be crazy if they had been in the same place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they grew up together.
Che versus Nadeau.
A rivalry you never knew existed.
I mean, Che, what do you think?
Do you think he won that?
I mean, he was kind of.
I just don't like the nacho eating.
I don't want to say he bodied you, but.
Tighten up, Che.
Yeah, you got gotta tighten up.
I mean, this is not a rivalry I necessarily want part of,
but I just want him to declare what he owns.
Here's my question.
Why?
Because that's...
If you're a sports...
As a grown man, you should have at least two to three rivalries.
Yes.
If you're a sports fan and you're actively rooting
and you're talking shit,
there has to be a point
where you lose.
But Che,
as much as this company
is built on fandom,
even more these days
it's built on betting,
which is what he's talking about.
So you could maybe dunk on him
when his bets lose,
but that wasn't
the answer yesterday.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not going to make fun
of someone for their bet losing.
Well then,
I mean,
that's what he's saying
he cares about more than somebody else. But then then, I mean, that's what he's saying he cares about more than Spinellos.
But then that's it.
If he's saying that's it and all fandom is disgusting,
then he doesn't get to celebrate an Eagles Super Bowl.
Is that fair?
Unless you bet on it.
Then he can celebrate the Moneyline win,
but you don't get to celebrate the whole grind.
Yes, then he can celebrate the Moneyline win.
But then he's not part of that journey.
He's part of the game.
I would never bet against my team
i would never do it no matter what so i'm on your side for that but with a big emotional
hedger would you opt out of betting on your team if you knew they were going to lose
yes i just wouldn't bet the game if i think they're going to lose i just don't bet the game
yeah yeah but at the same time i respect his right to do to to bet that way that's fine but i just i
just want...
If he's truly not a fan of the team,
then that could be my mistake.
He's not a fan of the Sixers.
He's tweeted a lot about the Sixers.
Right.
But figure out, like, where do you stand?
I don't know where this guy stands.
Where does Jeff Nadeau stand?
A question we all want.
It is or ask.
About 30 miles from the Amish.
The Amish, are they tight like that, though?
They're not anywhere around.
First of all, Amish have a mafia.
Yeah.
What a dangerous, by the way.
They're a general?
Where are they?
They're only in Pennsylvania?
I grew up right on my Walmart.
It was a lot near Ohio.
Like north center. We had some down in Mississippi. A lot of puppy mills. My Walmart had horse and buggy parking. There's a lot near us in Ohio, like North Central.
We had some down in Mississippi.
A lot of puppy mills.
Puppy mills?
Not great to animals sometimes.
How many woodworkers are there?
Great woodworkers, though.
Yeah, I've seen the houses being built.
They'll throw up a back deck in four hours.
And they'll play badminton in between.
Very in volleyball.
How many are there in America?
Definitely less than
a million, right?
Probably 400,000.
I think the populations
are going up, though.
They've been having
humongous families
as of late.
And they are
great bakers, too.
They understand
their way around.
I say bankers
or bakers.
Oh, whoopie pies.
A chocolate whoopie pie.
A 340-pound one.
It does roll.
You said almost 400.
Oh, yeah,
Bieler's, right? Huh? Donut shop in Cooley? Yes,40-foot. That was a rule. You said almost 400. Oh, yeah, Beeler's, right?
Huh?
Donut shopping.
Beeler's?
Yes, yes, yes.
That's Amish.
Yes.
Who's the most famous Amish person?
Probably from the reality show.
Yeah, it's making Amish, those kids.
I don't know if there are any celebrity.
Intel Washington.
White Shrew was Amish adjacent.
Yeah.
The character.
It was a full Amish, yeah.
But, yeah, the guys from, have you ever watched Breaking Amish?
I actually have, no. I've heard about it. It was awesome. It was a full Amish. Yeah. But yeah, the guys from, have you ever watched Breaking Amish? I actually have, no.
I've heard about it.
It was awesome.
It was great.
What is it?
Are they trying to get out of it?
They leave.
No, they leave
and it's like their first
kind of forays into the public.
They go party?
Yeah, they all cop like flat brim hats.
I'd be more interested
to see normal people
going into Amish.
But they do,
every few years,
like the cops will fly helicopters
over their farms
and they grow a ton of weed
in the middle of the corn
and stuff like that. They have their ways.
They're big jankum people.
Is that real?
I think they're big jankum.
That's shit pissing gasoline?
That's huffing shit and piss. Fermented shit and piss.
God doesn't have a problem with that.
Oh, you made it yourself.
From the body. I love jars of jankum.
I see on TikTok on my algorithm sometimes
room springer type parties
where they're all in their arm, but they're boozing in a barn
somewhere and partying it up.
When you leave, you never get to go back, right?
Oh, what?
There we go.
How tall is he?
He's a yard, I think.
He's inches.
I think he's less than a yard.
He's one of the tiniest ones.
So you leave and you never come back? I think he's inches I think he's less than he's less than a yard he's one of the tiniest ones wait yeah he's
he was
wait so
so you leave
and you never come back
no you can come back
in the show Breaking Amish
multiple of them
went back to the tribe
and what do they do
when they leave
they're just like
fuck
or I mean
they try to fuck
bet the Celtics money line
I always get the Amish
and the Mormons
yeah they're cooler Mormons
I think oh they're cooler Mennonites okay there's more Norman there's and the Mormons Yeah they're cooler Mormons I think
Oh they're cooler Mennonites
There's more Norman
Mormons are more strict I think
Mormons are no
Mitt Romney wasn't Mormon
Like the ones who are
Extremists
They're just anti-fuck
They can't drink caffeine
Zach Wilson a Mormon
Andy Reid is They can't drink caffeine. Zach Wilson a Mormon? And he reads.
And he reads a Mormon.
They can't drink soda pop.
Kyle Van Noy, I think.
Well, he went to BYU.
I don't know if he's a Mormon.
Steve Young.
Well, Steve Young is literally from Brigham Young.
No, Mormons are on soda pop now.
Are they?
Are they on soda pop?
The Swig soda shops in Utah.
I'm trying to invest in them.
No, that's all they do.
It's all party drinks.
It's all they do.
Have you seen? There's a video of the lines for Swig. It's like. I'm trying to invest. That's all they do. It's all they do. Have you seen?
There's a video of the lines for Swig.
It's like a like a Burger King fast food chain, but they only sell soft drinks.
But they put like pumps of chocolate or like other shit in it.
And they wait for hours in these lines to get like I was reading a thing about the company's worth like like a billion dollars.
It's like soda.
And the Mormons are like partying and drinking it?
Yes, that's the way they party.
They're fucking an ugly chick because you had a Dr. Pepper.
But all it is is drinks.
And then they put like cookies on top.
They put like coffee creamer in it.
Yes, they put like coffee creamer in their Coke.
The lines for these are insane.
You are in luck.
Yeah, and they're growing.
How are they not allowed to drink that?
Maybe it's just the caffeine ones.
They didn't have caffeine on BYU's campus until like three years ago.
Jeez.
Yeah, it's changing now, I think, for whatever.
I think that was the change.
But it's their coffee.
It's their how we drink it ritualistically.
That's their thing now.
They call them party drinks.
The Amish don't use buttons.
What?
Yeah, they're-
They use hooks.
What does that mean?
On their shirts, they don't have buttons. What about zippers?'re... They use, like, hooks. What does that mean? Like, on their shirts,
they don't have buttons.
What about zippers?
They have zippers?
That's technology.
They are into shenanigans,
I think.
Yes, they're...
Oh, I mean, curious oil.
You know what?
No, those are...
Those are the dumb.
Jewish people.
They're Jewish.
They always hang their laundry
on the line,
but you never see underwear.
Sweet.
Do you know Lakewood, New Jersey?
I guess that's, like,
an even bigger Jewish population. Lakewood? jersey i guess that's like an even bigger jewish population
lakewood it's north jersey did you watch that documentary about curious joel
it's like no fascinating it's fascinating what's going on basically they buy like there's no
i don't it's just neat. Like that? What is it?
There's no stopping the growth.
You could say that.
Like...
They're rapidly...
It was about the community who wasn't, like,
acidic in that neighborhood,
and how there's once...
There's, like, no stopping...
You ran everyone else out of town.
Yeah.
They have a lot of babies.
You think they need to introduce a natural predator to the area.
They're like the Asian carp.
Put one SS in it.
It's a fascinating documentary about that town and how it's changed in the last 10 years.
Whatever.
Anyway.
Yeah, they're growing.
Yeah.
Good for them.
I wish I was a part of a community where we could expand. Anyway. Yeah, they're growing. Yeah. Good for them. Growing.
I wish I was a part
of a community
where we could expand.
You're Jewish.
Comedians.
You're Jewish.
So comedian.
Not really Jewish though.
I'm fake Jewish.
What about comedians?
You guys are expanding.
No, but not like that.
Like a cool community.
Taking over the East Village.
Yeah.
I don't live
in the East Village, bro.
Wish I,
maybe I'll go full
Hasidic Jew.
Something that you can just transition into. Yeah, I guess you live in the East Village, bro. Maybe I'll go full Hasidic Jew. Something that you can just transition into?
Yeah, I guess you could tomorrow.
Convert.
Just buy the fit?
Yeah.
Imagine walking around Williamsburg with the fit on and they check you like it's stolen valor.
They would check me.
Yeah.
Where'd you serve your, where'd you do your PT?
They always know, though.
Do you ever get stopped around Central Park and they're like, can I pray for a dude?
They put the whole thing on you.
They'll be like, are you Jewish?
I get asked if I should.
All the time.
I see that.
They dodge a lot of people.
They hunt me out.
See me from a mile away.
Baby was offended when they said, are you Jewish?
I didn't know why.
I was annoyed.
I'm trying to get somewhere.
I don't want to be asked if I'm Jewish.
I feel bad for the people who, those people that are, I don't know if they're still out,
or no, they're probably out heavy right now, the people who stop you and they're like,
yo, what's up, man?
I fall for it every time.
Are you smiling today?
Why don't you sign up for T-Mobile?
I finally broke that and I just fell in love.
I don't even, yeah, I don't respond to it.
I gave two, the minimum donation to this one, he already had my card info, and then he pulled up the donations.
Minimum was $200.
So I gave $200 to an autism.
What?
Oh, wait, when?
Jesus Christ.
Two days ago.
Let's go into Josh's box of drinking fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's no.
They got my credit card info.
They were like, that's the minimum.
The max is $500.
But if you want to do two $500s, we'd love that because we could go home early.
They're like, no.
And then the one guy got me.
I had my headphones and I was ignoring him.
And he's like, you dropped this.
You dropped this.
Yeah, they did that to me too.
I turned around and I said, I dropped what?
And he said, this opportunity.
Yeah, he did that to me.
They were like, your shoe's untied.
And I was like, no, it's fucking not.
And I just kept walking.
I don't even look up.
Yeah, I look.
I stare him down. And I just kept walking. I don't even look up. I stare them down.
I just keep moving.
They know when they
see me, they got me.
That has to be the worst job.
That's the job that you
it's an ambiguous
job listing and they're like, we need rock
stars.
Right.
Self starters.
We need a rock star in your area.
It's like, oh god.
I'm going to be asking people to sign up.
It's a chance to feel real rejection
2,000 times a day.
Terrible.
Terrible. Just the worst.
Do the comedy clubs, like in Times Square
they all used to send people up there.
They still do it.
They send people from clubs to Times Square.
So like newer comedians?
No, it's usually like staff.
I don't think they really do it,
not at like any big clubs
because they just have people coming,
but it's still a very real thing.
Sass, I was proud of you,
how you dug your heels in against Dave.
Yeah, you did a good job.
People were...
You did a good job and you argued well. I thought that you didn't pussy out, which I was proud of you, how you dug your heels in against Dave. Yeah, you did a good job. You did a good job, and you argued well.
I thought that you didn't pussy out, which I was proud of.
Yeah, I didn't really think it was, it wasn't really that,
I mean, as soon as he came in, I knew it wasn't going to be a big deal.
Yeah, I told you.
He, like, looked at me and laughed.
Right.
I was like, okay, seems to me I have a better vibe.
You just gave him an opportunity to have a little fight.
Yeah.
He likes that.
Yeah.
I think that's good, and I think the fact you didn't back down is good.
I mean, the people here were, I mean,
unbelievable.
Insane.
What?
Dude, you're fucked, man.
Like, Nate.
Being like, dude, like.
People were saying that to you?
Before, like, when I came into the office.
That's funny.
And they're like, what are you going to say, man?
Like, you're done.
It's over for you.
There's just a box on your desk. I'm like, you guys are acting to say, man? Like, you're done. It's over for you. There's just a box on your desk.
You guys are acting like I insulted his family or something.
Yeah.
Like I made a comment about selling out one of the biggest venues in New York City.
I got texts from coworkers about you that were just like, hey, you checking on sass?
Yeah.
Like you're going to off yourself.
Yeah.
And Brandon also just hopped in and took a lot of that.
Yeah, Brandon did hop in, which was nice.
I didn't really hop. They brought me in. Yeah. Although your that. Yeah, Brandon did hop in, which was nice. I didn't really hop in.
Dave brought me in.
Although your face.
You were back and obsessed throughout the entire argument.
As soon as you talked, it was kind of you were in.
Yeah, that's fine.
You like a fight too, Brandon.
You like a little argument.
Well, you know, Dave fighting is what it is.
Well said.
Yeah, very well said.
I'm just thinking if I push off on the left foot.
You want to give it a shot?
No, I'm going to give it a shot, but I'm planning out my strategy.
I might go the other way.
Why don't you do the high noon ad and then we'll get in.
Why don't you get yourself in position?
Just tell me if it says tequila or vodka on this week's.
It says.
I think it's both now.
Tequila. Tequila.
High Noon Tequila.
My absolute favorite.
I stay with some
High Noon Tequila
wrapped up in my fridge
because I know that
if I'm sipping into that,
I know what I'm getting.
And that's real tequila,
real juice,
little carbonated water, and that's it.
No malt.
No BS out there.
100 calories and it's going to taste delicious.
I have a little bit of a preference for the lime, but that doesn't mean that there aren't other flavors that you can enjoy.
I think the strawberry really flies off the shelves. I think people get super hyped up for the strawberry, but I'll go with the limes.
I will crush, I will mow down the limes in that tequila package because they're so darn delicious.
You can get them on a sunny day. They have them in a lot of bars. I was in a bar in, I was in
Jersey City this Saturday. They had the tequila high noons behind the bar.
You could order any flavor that you wanted.
They really have a ton of them.
They got the passion fruit right here.
They got the grapefruit right here.
They're always at our disposal, and they're at your disposal.
Go to a liquor store by you today.
Go to your local bar.
Go to your convenience store.
Wherever you usually pick up booze.
Hell, even Drizzly, Roan.
I mean, Drizzly is one of the best options.
Drizzly will bring them right to your door.
It'll be freaking 20 minutes, and then you'll be drinking on a high noon.
The sun is shining.
It's going to be nice until freaking October.
Make that period of time a time for high noon.
I saw a high noon hat in London.
Hat? Yeah. I mean, they Noon hat in London. Hat?
Yeah.
I mean, they're taking over the world.
How was London?
It was good.
Me and Tommy have a video coming out today.
Find the scenes?
Just like the vlog.
You know, 62 hours in London.
Wow.
What was the best thing you ate?
Ooh.
The Indian food.
They have great Indian food.
Best in the world.
What did you get?
What made best in the world. What did you get?
Maybe best in the world, better than India?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Why?
Cleanliness, I don't know.
Colonization?
Yeah.
So what was it?
What did you get?
What Indian food did you get?
John Kelly took lead.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He had some chicken tiki masala.
What was that?
Chicken tiki masala. Oh, yeah. We're about to do chicken tiki masala. What was that? Chicken tiki masala.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We're about to do an action. Is that a Punjabi MC song?
How does it go?
Ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding.
Yeah, that's it.
That's a good-ass song.
It's so good.
It's so good.
It's the only Indian song.
It's the only.
Punjabi MC.
That's all they have.
You guys know about Punjabi MC?
No, they got Jai Ho.
Yeah.
Ding-a-ding-a-ding.
Yeah, that's the one.
And...
Ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding.
Yeah.
But if you listen, they use that instrumental on every song.
It rocks.
And then Jay-Z hopped on the remix.
Oh, yeah.
I know that song.
Indian dudes are the best TikTokers on earth.
Yes.
They're good basketball players, too.
They are damn good at TikTok.
Bad Riz.
Bad Riz? Really bad Riz. Really misogynistic. Extremely good negoti TikTok. Bad Riz. Bad Riz?
Extremely good negotiators.
Where is this guy going?
He's going to the Chili's.
I said it a while ago.
Indian dudes make up 90% of
Andrew Tate's fan base.
Really? Yeah. It's usually
jacked Indian dudes.
Who are like, I hate women.
You know a lot of jacked Indian dudes are Bangladeshi.
You might be thinking
of Bangladeshi bros.
I could be thinking
of Bangladeshi bros.
You're definitely thinking
of Bangladeshi bros.
Or Indian.
Bangladesh.
I think you guys
are thinking of Indian guys.
I think Bangladesh,
which is one of the largest
countries in the world,
do you think they ever
Olympic medaled?
They not?
Had to.
They have to.
Yeah.
Have they not? I don't have. Yeah. Have they not?
I don't know.
I think they must have.
Like field hockey or something.
I can't recall them in any Olympic.
I can see them crushing field hockey.
Overseas?
That's a big thing.
There you go.
Oh, my God.
He's very quick.
Bangladesh has zero Olympic medals.
Yeah, I definitely looked that up.
You piece of shit.
But it was a while ago.
No, it was yesterday.
Why?
Uh-oh, oh no.
Went too far.
I was thinking about Jai Wolf.
Jai Wolf.
He's going fast.
Killing his time.
Yeah, he's crushing.
I think he's having a little fun, too.
I think so.
Let's hide his shoes.
He embraced this better than I thought he was going to.
It's like we're watching Brink.
Put him in the trash can underneath the bag.
He can pup and suds.
You probably did.
Oh.
Is there actual trash in there?
Yeah.
Shit.
Take it out, then.
Take it out.
Take it out.
Oh, okay. Is he going in slow-mo, actual trash in there? Yeah. Shit. Take it out then. Take it out. Take it out. That's just paper.
Oh, okay.
Is he going in slow-mo or is this...
Is he buffering?
I think he was buffering.
That was...
Oh, no.
That was set up, if any.
Oh.
That's him going in between
the Wi-Fi zones in the office.
Oh, yeah, our Wi-Fi zones.
Just throw him in the podcast studio.
Go, go, go.
Quick, quick, quick.
No, no, no, no, no.
I downloaded the Barstool N card today from HQ.
Yeah.
And it is 28 megabytes.
Oh, no.
Oh!
That was a megabyte.
Just went way too much speed.
Way too much speed around that corner.
He's fully down.
He might not break it if he doesn't get up.
He might not beat his run.
This is like cool runnings.
The end of cool runnings.
I think he gets a timeout.
Thank God he has that hemorrhoid.
No timeout.
No timeouts.
Get up, Brandon.
If he doesn't beat it, he has to go again.
He's right there.
He could crawl here in less than that time.
People are putting stuff in his way.
Bastards.
Is he allowed to be helped out?
I don't know about getting helped out.
I don't know about being helped out.
That would be a 15-second penalty.
There he goes.
I think we could have guessed.
Who said that?
Come on, Brandon.
2-11.
Brandon, you're here.
You did it.
2-11.
2-11.
That fall was bad.
That fall was bad.
I wouldn't take that helmet off until you're mounted.
Where did you land on when you fell on your coccyx?
My lower back, elbow, and left wrist.
Any breaks?
Any tweaks?
No, I'm good.
Breaks or tweaks?
Pinches?
Oh, no, pinches.
I see that falling.
Only the one fall, really.
It's like the movie Brink.
It was like the movie Brink.
I was going to say it's like the movie Brink.
Disney Channel original movie?
Elvis Backbone?
Oh, yeah.
Brink?
Theme Pup and Suds.
Sponsored by a dog washing place.
Andrew Brinker.
Is that his name?
Anybody else?
Want to skate?
Big for me.
Oh, here it is.
I was going good.
Passed.
Flop.
Oh!
Oh, you're running off of adrenaline still.
There's a break in there for sure.
The elbow's hurting.
Yeah.
It's going to start hurting. Oh, the elbow's hurting bad. About 20 minutes. Yeah. There's a break in there for sure. The elbow's hurting. Yeah. It's going to start hurting.
Oh, the elbow's hurting bad.
About 20 minutes.
Yeah.
That's a break.
Get you to the hospital.
I didn't break my elbow, I don't think.
You look like Apollo Antonono.
Thank you.
Name another one.
That's it.
That's all I got.
Ah, fuck.
Hayden?
Who's the figure skater who got her knees broken?
It was a Hayden.
Nancy Kerrigan?
Nancy Kerrigan.
There was only one name.
Why?
Why me?
What a baller move.
It's crazy they still let Tanya Harding skate in the Olympics.
It's crazy.
It's pretty crazy.
She deserved it.
She went to fucking hell and back to get that done.
Yeah.
That's about drive.
She had somebody on her behalf took out the other person, right?
I had no one else think of that.
Is there a rule that says you can't do that?
It's called bending the rules.
Make them make the rule.
Probably most famous Tanya, right?
And second most famous Harding?
Behind Warren?
Warren G?
I think Tanya's probably more famous.
You've got gotta start getting
that energy in podcasts
a president
when Anis surpasses us
on the podcast charts
I'm gonna break
your guys knees
don't worry about that
oh no
are you hurt
I got the numbers
look at that
look at the bone
Brandon
ew
what's that
what's that dimple
it's broken dude
oh that might be broken, dude.
Are you serious?
I chopped the top of mine off.
Wait, show the inside.
Oh!
Oh, no, Brandon.
What are we looking at?
Oh, it's shattered.
Show the inside of your arm right here.
You might never be the same.
Does it hurt to bend?
No, it's on the outside.
Let's see your right.
Well, I can't straighten my arms, first of all.
Apparently.
Don't be alarmed by that.
My arms never straighten. Polio as a kid? Yeah, just my I can't straighten my arms, first of all. Don't be alarmed by that. My arms never straighten.
Polio as a kid?
Yeah, just my arms don't straighten.
What?
Your arms not straighten.
Do this again.
Are you trying to straighten them?
Wait, do you have a dimple on the other side?
See that dimple on the inside of his left?
Oh, that's where his bones just completely collapsed.
So I've actually broken my left elbow before.
I'm bored of the activity.
Yeah, what happened?
Can you tell?
So a way to figure out if it's broken, I did it in a rec basketball game.
I was trotting back after scoring.
Trotting.
And I just tripped over a teammate and broke my fall and the elbow ended up breaking.
I didn't know it was broken at the time, but if you go like this, can you go into like a shooting motion?
Does it hurt?
That is the way to figure
it out. Stephen, was it a
silky? Okay, he's fine.
I scored two points
after I broke my elbow.
Seems like you scored it before.
If you did it and then you landed.
Rondo.
More like Rondo.
Did he break his elbow?
Dislocated his arm or something and then he played with one arm.
Kobe tore his Achilles and then shot free throws.
Yes, correct.
Did Rondo not do that?
I know I'm not wrong on this.
Rondo definitely did that.
He tore his ACL and he played the rest of the game.
Yes.
Those are both leg issues you guys are talking about.
Nobody's torn their ACL.
I thought Rondo hurt his arm.
Brock Purdy hurt his ACL
and couldn't play anymore.
But he didn't come back in the game.
He threw a left-handed screen pass.
Five seconds.
They came in for five minutes.
Wrestler got testicular cancer in 0-4
and had to take a break.
Oh, Scotty, too haughty again.
You know so much about wrestling. He has one haughty left. You know so much about wrestling.
I didn't remember that.
There's one haughty left.
Oh, okay.
He has limited haughties.
Let's go, Sass.
Ever question my sports IQ?
Sass.
Ever.
Stamp it.
Nose ball.
People think I'm not a Celtics fan.
Why KB?
Why do people think you're not a Celtics fan?
I don't know.
Maybe the Sixers jersey?
Dude, I thought Dave was going to think that was way funnier than he did.
I don't think he even noticed.
Dave's not a Bits guy.
Did you guys know I had it?
Yeah.
I didn't know I had it on the whole time.
I didn't because I said it beforehand.
I said you should have worn it.
Yeah.
I didn't know it was under there.
He's not a bits guy.
Maybe next time.
Alright. There's always room to improve. Brandon, one more lap.
Oh, no, no, no. That was it.
The elbow. Come on. I took damage
on that one. What about running a lap?
I'm not going to run a lap. Why would I run a lap? I bet you could skate
faster than you ran. Well, then that's not
you know that's not true. Well, we don't know.
No, I took damage.
Nobody else skated.
Does it feel funny
to walk after you take them off?
I haven't walked yet.
Jay, I would like to see
your time.
Yeah, let's get Jay
on the skates.
Fourteens?
Yeah.
You can lace them up.
You can lace them up.
Oh, man.
Let's all do it.
Everybody should be able
to do it.
You can spin the wheel
to see who has to put them on
and go around.
Fair.
That's fair.
Is that Outback out there or what? It is.
No, no, no, no, no.
Chili's.
What show?
PMT?
I don't know, though.
I was told it was for Hank.
Oh, that feels like we should get some of that
considering he ate all of our food.
TJ.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
Well, TJ.
Oh, you can make it.
TJ, you have the power to make an eliminator wheel.
Yeah, I could do that.
All right.
That's an eliminator.
That's an eliminator wheel.
TJ would do it and no one would ever see it
because there would be no one that would understand how to...
He wants to put on his skates.
I got my video game, by the way.
Oh, nice.
Hell yeah.
You played it?
Also, I don't think Kate should be on this wheel.
Oh, yeah.
No, I can do it.
I can do it. I can do it.
I can do it.
Oh, take Kate off.
No, I can do it.
All that thing is shooting out of you, hobo.
It's like landing on a soccer ball.
Wait, so.
Kate, you shouldn't fall.
Can you put that around your stomach?
But I think if I squat...
I think if I squat low enough...
I think it's a bad idea.
Let's just let the wheel play out.
The wheel normally knows.
Adam, I'm happy for your back.
That's huge. That's massive.
I've been doing a lot of flexibility exercise.
Brandon would have to go again.
Why am I on the wheel?
This was to find out somebody else would do it.
All right, here we go.
The wheel respects pregnant women.
It does.
Oh, this is a good final four.
I kind of want to know if I'd be able to do it.
Let's ask him.
No.
Oh, Brandon.
Let's look at the wheel this time.
Look at you.
Good.
That would have been so good.
I was really worried about this.
AB will rock this.
Yeah, 100%.
I'm a size 9, too.
Two size 9s fighting to put on a 14.
Just one spin.
One spin.
One spin.
Why are you throwing it to him?
Last guy remaining.
Throw it to that side of the room, Sass.
All right, KB, let's go.
All right.
You're going to be bad at this, I think.
No, KB's going to be good at this.
KB will look bad, and then by the time he gets to the other side of the office,
he'll be fucking crushing it.
Goes with the fit really well.
It does.
Yeah, you do.
Those are fucking massive shoes.
You want to stuff some of this paper?
Clown shoes. We can do whatever y'all want, but I feel like everybody should. KB, you want to stuff some of this paper? Clown shoes.
We can do whatever y'all want, but I feel like everybody should.
KB, you want to stuff some of this paper in there?
Kyle, you're stuffing, aren't you?
I laced it until I was comfortable.
I think KB's going to...
I'd say 115.
He gets going.
He could be 45 seconds if he's good.
Do you want the foam ring for your head?
Yes.
You have to wear the foam ring.
Someone could die out here.
He could just lean on his ear.
Would you have worn the foam ring around your belly?
Yes, I would have.
That was mean.
His ear?
It's cauliflowered.
Beyond recognition.
Artie looks better than Brandon.
I can shake it off.
I can shake it off.
Those are so fucking big on you.
If you fall, they're flying off like you got hit by a car.
We spun the real wheel yet?
No, we didn't do that.
Oh, Mincy's video of getting a pass from Bone Thugs.
It was somebody else's video.
Ooh, another name wheel.
Jesus.
Really odd.
Congrats, DJ.
Thank you, Jay.
Yeah, but the cameo popping up at 118 was so good.
That was like when Kareem showed up on an airplane.
Okay, man, your wheel, man, you're real.
I mean, looking smart.
Yeah, you're better.
You're real.
All right, what's his time?
I'm saying 126.
Oh, Barter Blitz.
I guess it's going to be Barter Blitz.
I mean, do you know what Barter Blitz is?
Here he comes again.
He just did a good turn.
We'll get to it.
Okay, all right.
All right.
Get his time up.
I fucking love Barter Blitz.
Put your times in.
Put your times in.
What do you guys think?
115.
I'm going to say there's a mistake somewhere along the way.
I'm going to go 205.
You're 10.
I'm going to go 136.
I say 126.
Okay.
And Kate has 115.
Ready, KB?
115, yeah.
The furious, furious.
All right, here he goes.
Three, two, one, go.
There he goes.
Oh, no, he's fucked.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Oh, he'll figure it out.
He's like a Russian soldier.
He's just running.
Oh, no, oh, no.
He's going to handle the turn.
Oh!
This is like when Shaggy and Scooby try to run away from a ghost.
He's flying.
This is a long stretch.
Get this stretch.
His body looks like it should be fine, but he's not.
There he goes.
He's not going anywhere.
He's moving now.
He's about to bust his ass.
He is cruising.
Oh, Wi-Fi dead zone.
A little slow-mo action.
Wi-Fi dead zone.
It's so shitty, this office is.
Jesus Christ
This is so funny
He's really good
Come on KB
How do you get the straw
It's pretty good
Come on hurry up KB
He crushed this Now, you might get it on the dot. Here he comes. Come on. Hurry up, KB. Oh, he crushed this. Hurry up. Hurry up.
Hurry up.
Now you're going to get it, KB.
Now you're going to get it.
Oh, my God.
He's really sprinting out to the edge.
His face is so focused.
He's so focused.
1-12.
1-12.
Damn, KB.
Peach is in cream.
Crush that, bro.
KB.
Take your shirt off, bro.
Pop your shirt off.
Pop the top.
Pop the top.
Pop the top off, bro.
You're good.
Damn, KB.
That was a wild form you had there.
Yeah.
Strong.
He's out of breath, too, in fairness.
He was running the whole time, Brandon.
So was I.
We were pushing off the wall.
It's because my body wasn't running and the rest of me was.
He was trying to run.
Your arms were pumping.
That was sick.
Hey, bro, check for the shit on stool scenes.
You crushed that.
Damn, bro, how are you going to celebrate?
I went $300.
Some yoga nidra.
Oh, a little yoga nidra.
Anyone else want to try?
I would like to see other people do it.
I was confident. Hey, you wanted to do it. Anyone else want to try? I would like to see other people do it. That's what's confident.
Hey, you wanted to do it.
Why don't you try?
I wasn't, yeah, I could have done.
I don't have the.
All right, fine, I'll fucking do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it after you.
Father of three.
Don't hurt yourself, though.
Yeah, this makes me a little,
this makes me more nervous than me doing it, to be honest.
Oh, it came out.
Barter Blitz.
Barter Blitz. Barter Blitz.
I forget what that is.
That's how you lace them up.
If anybody knows a good psychic out there, because that's still on the list.
Oh, yeah.
We just need a day to knock all this shit out.
Just a fun... There's psychics up and down. There's psychics on 7th Ave. out there because that's still on the list. Oh, yeah. We just need a day to knock all this shit out.
There's psychics up and down.
There's psychics on 7th Ave.
Do you think we could get one to come up in here?
They work for $5.
There's one right one block down who sits out at a little table. Yes, right outside the...
What is it?
Pliables.
Let's see if she'll come up.
Are you going to be good?
No, I don't think so.
You're good.
No, didn't you race Dave?
The only thing you have to worry about is just the turns.
Stopping yourself at the turns.
Also, please stay low.
You can fall once.
Stay low.
That's when I felt like I could have.
You have a good center of gravity, though.
Yep, keep your body gravity low.
You're a natural.
Oh, yeah.
He's wearing all black, and it looks so like...
He's like a bouncer.
He's a natural.
He's going to do it easily.
Where's Roland?
I think he can crush.
Oh, he's going to go the other way?
He's like the bouncer at a Sonic.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Did he fall?
No, but he's doing...
He started the swimming.
You'll be good.
You'll be good.
It's on you.
Time's up.
It's on you.
I think it'll take him two minutes. Oh. Exactly. Oh, he's good. Wow, look at him. He be good. You'll be good. It's on you. Time's up. It's on you. I think it'll take him two minutes.
Oh, exactly.
Oh, he's good.
Wow, look at him.
He's good.
Oh, but where's the corner?
What's he going to do at the corner?
He's going to grab the wall, hopefully.
I think he can go up one minute.
I think he can go under a minute.
He's zooming.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
He's an athlete.
It looks bad for us.
Yeah, it does.
Is that Nick Cannon?
In roll bounce?
Does that... He does have three kids now.
Oh, he's flying.
Look at that form.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, wow.
Doesn't even skip a beat.
Oh, he's moving good.
Slow-mo time.
Dude, and the only area that doesn't have Wi-Fi is our tech room.
Yep.
Yep.
But look at this.
Damn!
Right there. Turn. Yep. Damn! Right there.
Damn!
I'm actually pretty nice.
How was his audio
so good? I don't know. That was better than
any podcast we've ever had.
I'm just going to break a minute.
Oh my god. Damn!
Sub one minute. 54.
You've done this. Damn! so good that was good that was impressive
54 that's gonna be hard to beat that was that was awesome that was very impressive
i didn't even see that where did on the wi-fi dead zone. Oh. I, like, nicked a pipe.
Anyone else?
I'm not out of breath at all.
No, you're not.
I'll do it later this week.
I was in my apartment all weekend.
Flash, you said you would go after Big Cat.
I did say that, yes.
But that could be tomorrow.
You know what I mean?
That could be anything. Anything's after Big Cat.
You got to just, it's basically like skiing.
Well, that doesn't help.
Yeah, it was like skiing.
It's like skiing, where you got to, like, got to like, you know when you get on a flat part of skiing?
Yeah.
And you got to kind of push yourself a little.
So it's like that.
This side to side.
You can't do it like you would do regular skating.
No, don't pick up your feet.
It's like ice skating.
It's probably better than skiing.
But where you're like, it's like. It's like ice skating is probably better than skiing. But where you're like...
It's like...
It's like that size.
I'll try it.
I'm kind of nervous.
I probably also have an advantage being close to Brandon's size.
What advantage is that?
In the skates.
Oh, yeah, okay.
I'm a size 12, so...
That didn't really...
No, that didn't affect me.
I was just bad at it.
Like what I heard.
Yeah, I like that, too.
That low sound.
You look like a Russian soldier.
I gotta pee.
Oh, dude.
What?
I don't know if I can do it.
Come on, Seth.
Maybe he did it.
These are so fucking big.
Maybe he just did it.
Just double him around the ankle.
Maybe.
What size shoe do you wear?
Nine?
Yeah.
All right.
A wide foot, though.
I do not.
So I could be like an eight.
If I wanted.
I'm an eight.
I wanted it bad enough.
I have the length of an 8.
What's your width, though?
I have the width of like a 13.
I also just realized how stupid I sounded saying.
Roller skating is like skating.
Oh, yeah, I guess it is.
I got to go.
I feel like just do the same.
Like to skate, were gonna just skate
Hey what'd they do with my shoes?
Huh?
My shoes?
I like genuinely don't know
Where'd your shoes go?
Your shoes?
Where'd you take them off?
You took them off before you got in the show
No you took them off before you got in the show
Are they next to your chair?
Are they?
Colder, colder, colder, colder, warmer, warmer, warmer, warmer.
Kate did the hiding spot well where are they
I don't know
oh yeah
oh he got confident
he's gonna be good
for the speed record
it also like the more people that do it, the worse branded it looks.
I don't think like that at all.
I just blazed the trail.
Made you guys believe it was possible.
No?
You made me believe it was way harder than it was.
Yeah, me too.
But when you got on it and you realized.
I was scared to do it.
It was still hard.
Oh, it's not. If I had to do that... You look like
a natural. But if I had to do that
in open space, I would have fallen.
Because I had the ability to be like,
if I need to, I can catch myself.
If you were like, go skate
a half mile, I'd fall.
I never skated when it was cool to roller skate.
When you were a kid, I never did that.
I rollerbladed. I rollerbladed as well, like, a couple times.
And roller blading is way easier.
Way, way easier.
My problem is I'm not coordinated.
Oh, that's not a problem.
Don't you ski?
No.
Did you hear what I said?
It's like skating?
Mm-hmm.
Because it's skating.
Similar.
It's similar similar for sure.
You ever blade down
a real bumpy street
and then your legs itch?
Yeah, or it makes you
have to poop.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
What?
Oh, yeah.
If you ever sit on a skateboard
and go down a bumpy hill.
Makes you have to poop?
Makes you have to poop.
You vibrate the poop out of you.
I would never do that.
Oh, Sass looks so smooth.
Yeah, that was a natural.
Sass.
Oh, you know how to do it.
Oh, Sass, put on the helmet.
You have to wear the helmet legally.
Sass, you need to break my record.
I'm just taking a hell of a pee.
Sass looks good.
I don't think so.
Oh, you've got a client.
You're planning.
Smooth as silk.
I started the desk. I start by Ebony. You've got a client. You're planning. Smooth as silk.
Start at the desk.
I start by Ebony.
Oh, he's good.
Oh, this guy.
Did we just get played?
If I saw him rolling down the street, I'd be like, that's a cool-ass dude. That's a cool 70-year-old still out there on roller skates.
I'm going to say 40 seconds.
Oh. I'm going to say 40 seconds. Oh.
I'm going to say 59.
Oh.
Oh, he's killing.
Oh, my God.
He's good.
Did he ever play hockey?
I think so.
He must have.
He got a little hockey-ass time.
How's he going to turn?
How's he going to turn?
Oh, my goodness.
He's in one of those little old man groups.
He's making it look so easy.
It looks slow.
Because it is so easy.
Oh.
I played hockey
for three practices and then the third practice
I couldn't get my helmet off and it burned my ears
and I quit. Ice hockey or rolling?
The equipment was the hardest part.
It was also just whenever
Mighty Ducks came out and every kid was like, damn,
I want to play hockey.
That movie definitely.
I did one soccer practice.
Finish strong.
Beat a minute.
Dougs and Frank, just two old men at the diner.
They're the two guys from the Muppets.
Ooh, Sask, beat my time.
He's not going to do it.
52.
54.
He's just having fun.
Dude, he looks way better.
He looks silky. You could easily beat beat you, but you could easily beat me.
Yeah, maybe.
Why don't you try again?
You're good.
No, that was actually way more than I expected it to be.
You should go again because you could easily beat my time.
It's not about the record for me.
It's more about just the joy of getting the skates on.
Yeah, that's true.
Did you used to play hockey?
Yeah.
Obviously. But it that's true. Did you used to play hockey? Yeah. Obviously.
But it's very odd.
It feels weird.
Also, it was hurting my shins.
Might have shin cancer.
Probably.
In both shins?
Yeah.
That's not good.
It's the rarest kind,
but also most deadly.
You said your shins hurt?
Yep, that's shin cancer.
Double shin cancer.
Skates. Skates, sass, skates once, double shin cancer.
Tough break, kid.
You knew the risk.
Shout out to Connor running behind him.
Oh, yeah.
How was I slower than you?
I felt like I was fucking moving.
I thought you were good.
You were just too there.
You didn't even know.
No, I didn't know.
I thought I had it in the bag.
Yeah.
Why don't you put that skate back on?
Anyone else want to try?
Steven, why don't you try?
Throw him off.
Finish this off.
Steven.
You got to.
Steven.
Steven.
All right.
The dude would never.
Did he do the bet?
What? Did he do the bet? What?
Did he do the bet?
Did he send you the slip?
Oh, yeah.
He did not?
Yeah.
He said he would, though.
We've conversed.
I said, thanks for coming on.
He's a man of his word.
He's fucking downloading
Adobe Premiere right now.
Premiere, Photoshop.
Damn it.
Wrong program.
I always get my Adobe's mixed up.
Che going helmetless.
Yeah, that's against the rules.
Yeah, he's got a helmet.
Wait, Che,
you need the helmet.
Oh, man.
He still needs to put on his
uh,
I don't get it.
TJ,
in case this goes poorly,
can you put the live leak watermark on this?
Okay, what is that bottle?
Sheesh.
You guys had your wine.
I didn't know that.
What?
We did.
The 2016 Bordeaux, grown with organic grapes. Who brought that? Live event Lisa dropped it off in here. What? We did. The 2016 Bordeaux grown with organic grapes.
Who brought that?
Live Event Lisa dropped it off in here.
It's from 2016.
Where did the...
You didn't know you were going to have a wine?
It's certified by the application Bordeaux Controlli.
Okay.
Good for us.
Certified Bordeaux.
You guys have done it all.
Wine?
I'm a huge wine drinker, as everyone knows.
Should we bring that to Lee Ben-Arden?
Hey, when is that?
Can you uncork?
We got to find Stephen.
I forgot we're doing that.
That's going to be fucking awesome.
We're going to find a Wednesday.
I think one of the next few Wednesdays, if we get everyone's schedule.
It says you two discovered the vineyard.
He wanted to do two weeks from Wednesday, but that was before the baby came.
So now I can admit a little bit more.
Everybody bet are Doug's and Frank going to still be sitting there.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, no.
Helmet.
Helmet.
Now get the helmet on.
When you get to the desk, it'll be so awesome if he fell and broke his glasses
It would be funny
I'm going to cry
I'm going to go two minutes on him
Steven is definitely the best to get injured though
Because he'd be like
Just hanging with the fellas
He's very thin
Broke my femur
He's as bad as I am't feel it. Broke my femur. Yeah, broke my femur.
He's as bad as I am.
I'm going to say three minutes.
Oh, no.
He's as bad as I am.
Oh, no.
I think he might be worse.
Oh, no.
He's an upper body only.
He's the worst.
He does say he's never lifted legs.
It's a lot of torso.
It's a lot of torso.
Oh, is Clemmer here?
Can we watch Clemmer do a lap in him?
Oh.
I would like that very much. He might be nice. Oh, did he do his TikTok? I we watch Clemmer do a lap in him? I would like that very much.
Oh, did he do his TikTok?
I don't know if he did his TikTok.
We got to get him in shorts doing it too.
Can I go see if he's here?
Get him some shorts.
Watch Clemmer get in here and be like,
dude, I can't squeeze into 14s.
I'm a size 16.
Steven's going to take forever. This is pathetic. I'm a size 16. Steven's going to take forever.
This is tough to watch.
This is really tough to watch. To be honest, that's how I felt.
I felt like a natural out there.
You looked incredible.
I was in blazes of glory.
Yeah.
This is tough to watch.
I'm tied.
Che, tie that.
Come on, Che.
He's walking like an old man.
Thank you.
Oh, no.
He's trying to tie as he goes.
This looks so real like it would be.
Oh, no.
Chinese and tie.
Are you going to take this?
Chang and Ang.
Probably not.
You guys know the Chang and Eng?
What's that?
They're the conjoined twins from what is now present-day Thailand.
They were the first Siamese twins.
Oh.
Wait a second.
And they moved to the U.S. to do, like, war.
It's a recent phenomenon?
No, this was a while ago.
But they owned slaves.
What?
Chang and Ang?
Chinese tie.
The Chang would be like, that was Ang's idea.
Yeah.
One of them's Chinese, one's Thai.
Moved to Mount Airy, North Carolina.
Owned slaves.
They married sisters and had 21 kids between the two of them.
Damn.
Apparently there is a Netflix show
already about him. Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's gotta be the bottom of the barrel.
Yeah.
No, that's a good
idea. Did they have two actors play them?
I don't want to watch this. That should be a movie.
Only one was circumcised.
Matt Damon and...
Yeah. Stuck on Damon? Yeah. A Stuck on You?
Yeah.
A Succoneer.
Yeah.
Why the fuck was Matt Damon in that?
Matt Damon's in some weird movies.
It was probably like a Farrelly Brothers movie, and he owed them something.
That's exactly right.
This is pathetic.
What Doug's and Frank are talking about.
Oh, my God.
Look how slow he's moving.
Studying for the snacks category on the dozen.
He's not moving fast enough to fall.
No.
He's shuffling.
This is just tides. What's shuffling. This is just tight.
What's the lead doing?
You beat him, Brandon.
I did, yeah. Both times.
What's he trying to accomplish with that?
Not fall on his ass?
I think he thinks if he crouches, it's going to be like skiing where you go faster because he's more aerodynamic.
Die!
Die!
Oh.
All right.
Should we hype him up or what?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was awesome.
Less than a minute.
Good job.
You were fast.
58 seconds.
I'll take it.
Yeah.
Good segments.
You got it.
Yeah, there's no other option.
Is Clemmer here?
He's changing into shorts.
Okay. All right. So let's end Is Clemmer here? He's changing into shorts. Okay, all right.
So let's end with Clemmer.
Changing into shorts.
Let's get that sound effect ready.
Do we?
Now, what if Clemmer fell and broke his leg
and it was, like, bone through skin?
Heaven where?
He might have osteoporosis.
A little, like, twig that you just snap.
A pencil.
I don't know.
I don't know if he could.
You don't think he could break his leg?
I bet he just does.
Strong bones.
You think?
Keep a pair of content shorts here to change into?
No, we found some in the dumpster.
They're way too big.
So he was concerned they... They would fall off.
They would fall off.
I said that would be ideal for on-time purposes
Aggies
there he is
oh nice
this is gonna be great
whoa
what's that tattoo
it's a ninja turtle
it's a ninja turtle
which one
remember him
and his buddies
have it
and one of them
is gonna die first or something?
Yeah, but he only has two other buddies, so nobody's Michelangelo.
Nobody's Leonardo, right?
Nobody's Leonardo.
Who's he got?
He's got Michelangelo?
He's got Michelangelo?
He's got Mikey?
Yeah, because he said he's the party guy.
He's the pizza guy.
He's the party guy?
Yeah.
For Clemmer.
Yeah.
I got to meet those other two friends.
They suck.
Yeah, Clemmer and Smitty were going at it today.
Yeah.
I mean, Clemmer is showing up as the team wins the series,
being like, I've always loved them.
Talking about the rainbow connection.
Someday we'll find it.
Steven's hobbling.
He's never used his legs.
He's a glamour muscle only guy.
Steven, are you limping?
It feels different once you get up.
It's an intense leg workout.
That is the best feeling when you rollerblade for a couple hours
and you take them off.
See legs?
Like you're walking on the moon.
Have you had that feeling before?
You're rollerblading for hours?
Not for...
Yeah.
Like at a roller rink at a birthday party?
Oh, yeah.
Steven, you were on those for three minutes.
Yeah.
Shouldn't feel that weird.
Legs engaged the entire time.
You don't do legs.
I don't know. Why would I do them?
For long-term strength.
Eat the wolf.
It's an old, like, take care of your legs.
You're the first to go.
I'm not going to dunk, so.
Oh, but I'm saying when you're older.
Nah.
They got chairs.
They do have chairs.
We'll watch Clemmer and then we'll end the show.
Steven, when can we do Leigh-Bernard in?
Oh, yes.
So do those dates in
June work?
Or like now?
Is June available?
Yes.
Okay.
So, I'll check right now.
I'll send a text with
like two potential options
and hopefully everyone
is around.
And make sure Frank can
do the date with Kate.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm not dreading that.
A Wednesday?
Yeah.
I was looking at,
you want to do a Wednesday?
I was going to do a Thursday or Friday Wednesday would be great
We shouldn't say the exact date
Yes
Oh yeah
Because then people will cancel
The last full week in June
I have a thing
Yeah
We should book it under a pseudonym
Yeah we'll book it under a pseudonym
Here he goes
He's a good sport for
He's going to get some speed. That button
down shirt's going to look like the sail of a boat.
Alright.
Here he goes.
And he's off.
Oh, he's just walking it.
What did he say?
I've had it roller skating years ago, and I still suck.
This is like watching an old person just try and walk.
Yeah, he does.
He just looks like an old man walking.
Open it up, Clemmer.
There we go.
Should have told him he has to break a minute or two minutes.
Is he reminiscing?
Yes
He's never reminisced during a race
Yeah that's true
No one has ever done that
Can I go knock him down?
Yeah
Meet him at the bend
Go knock him down
No no not the wifi spot
By the rundown Tackle him By the bend. Oh, knock him down. No, no, not the Wi-Fi spot. By the rundown.
Tackle him.
By the rundown.
Yeah, hide behind the chair.
No.
Brandon.
This makes me nervous.
Brandon just Naruto ran.
He just fucking moved.
Oh, he's already at one minute.
He's just making the corner.
This is not going to work at all.
He's not really hiding.
Luckily, those two enormous men are there.
Yeah.
The perfect hiding spot.
Brandon's hair just disappeared.
He's going to look pathetic trying.
Total eclipse of the part.
Come on, bro.
Light him up.
Terry Tate.
Light him up.
His shorts are falling off.
Uh-oh.
He was just spread out. I'm going to light him up. His shorts are falling off. Uh-oh. My dick explodes.
It would be so funny if it panned back and he was just spread out.
Shit everywhere.
Cuts back in.
Oh, he should have told him to do this.
Was it going to be me?
I think it goes way too hard.
Moments before disaster.
Yeah, this makes me.
The live clever doesn't know what's about to happen.
Go to the big shot.
Go to the big shot.
He's not moving fast enough for this to be an issue.
Brandon's going to only half commit
and it's going to look...
I just want Brandon to wrap him up in his arms.
Like that.
We fucked him up.
Alright, alright.
Shut up.
Shoes fell off. Oh right. All right. Get up, Puddin'. Get up. Fuck them up. His shoes fell off.
Christ.
Oh, I hate that.
Now he feels bad.
Now he's being modest.
Well, they can hash it out on their podcast.
He's trying to cover his legs.
Oh, he's taking them off.
Oh, no, no, no.
That was way worse.
The emasculation of picking a man up with ease.
We should take Clemmer wherever.
Brandon.
He's so kidnappable.
He's going back to his seat.
He's got a lace.
The ball is going home.
I don't know.
You're up now.
You might have to go back to the studio.
Oh, he's going to roll over the place.
And she hit him again.
Oh, yeah, watch out.
Your left place is...
Was I supposed to scare him or tackle him?
I thought you were going to scare him.
I thought this was going to be a scare.
You got it right.
I just got in the moment.
I think we said tackle.
Yeah, he didn't like it.
Yeah.
What did he say?
I wonder why.
Did he hurt?
I hurt myself.
Oh, good.'t like it. Yeah. What'd he say? I wonder why. Did he hurt? I hurt myself. Oh, good.
Look at that.
Feels like you guys forgot that the floor is just straight concrete.
True.
When you get in the game, man.
You were in the game.
We gotta clap for him now.
I love how he's, this is where Che finished right now after all that
after being tackled
to the ground.
Steven.
So I didn't finish last.
It's technically true.
Thanks to Brandon
your best friend.
You'll never be a nice guy.
He's my buddy.
Yeah.
Way to be brother. be a nice guy. He's my buddy. Yeah! Clemmer!
Way to be, brother!
Clemmer!
You crushed that.
Not bad.
They told me to come do it.
No, we didn't.
We said to scare you. Did it scare you?
I'm not even scared of you.
I was going to say, scary. I'll just curse a little bit.
It's a giant fat man taco baby.
A giant fat man.
No.
Nah, it's fine.
You have a cold, Clemmer?
No.
I got tacos.
I stirred them by accident. No.
Can you go roll down?
Oh, I did not know that was going to happen.
No, thank you.
I feel like I set up.
No, I swear to God, I didn't know that.
Damn, Brandon. I think Brandon. Brandon, good animal. I think like I set up. No, I swear to God, I didn't know that. Damn, Brandon.
I think Brandon.
Brandon, good animal.
I think you wrapped up and you fell.
You landed on top.
You got the takedown.
So I was falling.
I did hold you up a little bit.
You did?
Yeah.
I didn't mean to tackle you all the way to the ground.
Yeah, like right here you got me.
I got all your weight right here on my sternum.
Two does not have a strong sternum.
Two for Clemmer.
No, I don't.
Wait, Brandon, why were you like sticking off? Two for Clemmer. I was I don't. Wait, Brandon, why were you like six and five?
Two for Clemmer.
I was ready, man.
Why were you?
No, Clemmer got the takedown.
Clemmer, look.
You got the takedown.
You got the points.
Clemmer, you got the points.
Look, you're on top.
You're on top.
I honored you.
I dropped you.
That was a great clip.
We're soaring through the air. All right, well, thank you, Clemmer. You're a good sport. You were soaring through the air.
All right, well, thank you, Clemmer.
You're a good sport.
No, good, though, didn't it?
A little contact?
Actually, kind of, dude.
Yeah.
You embody crazed contact.
Jesus.
Did I beat Che now, right?
Yeah, you would have if I had.
Yeah, you easily would have.
You easily would have.
By, like, two minutes.
Good yak, everyone.
Can we just put the...
Can we play that one more time?
I just got to see how high Brandon was.
It looks like you had dropped from the ceiling.
Yeah, in the NHL, you left your feet.
I don't know.
The assignment changed as I got out there.
I think there was some anger behind it.
Yeah, I just kind of wanted to hit him.
Some of you guys got to figure out on the next podcast.
Also, Doug's hit me beautifully.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can we put the sound effect over it?
Hit him up.
I hit him.
I hit him.
I hit him.
That was great, Brandon.
You didn't hurt him.
No. Flipped over to
You protected your
And you have a bad elbow
I wrapped him up
You got a bad elbow
And you still did that
I caved in his sternum
He's fine
He's like a terminator
All his parts liquefy
And come back together
Yeah
Alright
That's the act.
We'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow. It's the act. It's the act.
That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act.
It's the act.