The Yak - Nick and KB are Gearing Up for a Furry Convention | The Yak 10-10-23
Episode Date: October 10, 2023Who's that hot guy over there?You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right.
It is the Yak.
The Yak.
Brought to you by Roback.
Q-Zips, Renner, have you brought those up?
I haven't yet.
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Crewnecks as well.
What's up, boys?
Crewnecks season eight.
You guys notice that they've been mixing fennel and coriander in a lot of ingredients nowadays?
Have they?
Yeah, everywhere I look.
Fennel and coriander, thick as thieves.
Fennel is not fentanyl. That's just Yeah, everywhere I look. Fennel and coriander, thick as thieves. Fennel is
not fentanyl.
No, no, no. Fennel
isn't just an herb. That's oftentimes
now. Every ingredient you look up.
Three tries to spell that, Brandon.
F-E-N-N-E-L. Is that right?
Yeah. Not a very difficult word to spell.
You want to use your other two? There was a Y in it.
Okay. You got three tries.
You might as well. Alright, F-I-N-N-L-E.
Wrong.
Okay.
Stupid.
And F-I-N-A-L-L-E.
Wrong.
One for three.
Damn.
Come on.
Look at that.
That's tough.
Every ingredient on...
What is it?
So I've been reading...
Oh, that's a vegetable?
I've been reading cookbooks.
I thought it was a spice.
Fennel, coriander.
It was a chemical.
Nah, man.
It's always mixed with that and coriander. I thought thyme and coriander were spice. Fennel, coriander. It was a chemical. Nah, man. It's always mixed with that and coriander.
I thought thyme and
coriander were together. You'd think, yeah. Those days
are long gone. Really? Yeah. What happened to
thyme? Fennel's the new thyme.
Thyme just gets away from you. Yeah, it does.
Thyme.
Ooh.
That was a good one.
I didn't mean to. I started talking about spices
and I sneezed. Alright.
Brandon, you buy furniture yet?
No, not yet.
I still have an empty house.
Man.
My wife's birthday's on Friday.
I'm supposed to be buying her some stuff.
What's the strategy there?
Are you...
Get some couch, man.
I got two couches.
As long as possible?
Are you waiting for a certain date?
The thing is, I said when I got out here, I was going to buy all the furniture.
And when I got here, it's so fun not to spend the money.
Yeah.
It's really easy not to spend money.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I'm just trying to process what no furniture means.
It's empty.
It looks like Gruntilda's Lair from Banjo-Kazooie.
It's not empty.
I have-
A whole group of kids.
I have a whole passel of kids.
I got a lot of kids.
Yeah.
What are they doing?
They're erect.
They're all over the sit.
Standing up.
They're inviting
kids over from school do you want to come over and stand i got a pool table i got all kinds of
burning calories skinny as hell entryway is well suited for virtual reality i will say that yeah
one time tommy busted out the uh the vr the vr and he's just like there's chaos but he has a lot
of room because there's no furniture they have an oculus room where they can just play they can
just play that's what you're yeah oh no kids this isn no furniture. They have an Oculus room where they can just play. That's what you're, yeah. Oh, no, kids, this isn't empty.
It's an Oculus room.
It happens to be the entryway to my house.
Put on this headset and there's furniture.
The foyer?
Yeah, the foyer.
Does it get good light?
Phenomenal light.
You should grow fennel or coriander.
Okay.
What about thyme?
That's out.
Is coriander something you can grow?
Yes, dude.
I thought coriander was a spice.
Good God.
You can grow spices, dude.
Can you grow pepper?
Yeah, man.
Come on.
Why is that idiot looking at me like I'm stupid?
That's a great question, actually.
You're not on the show.
Fuck you.
He's on the show.
He's sitting on a stump.
Yeah, but that's a sick stump.
What's up? Yeah. You He's sitting on a stump. Yeah, but that's a sick stump. What's up?
Yeah.
He just calls us a stump?
Oh, my God.
What is going on?
Okay, where are we at?
All right, we might as well talk football.
Let's do it.
Last night's game?
Did you get first touchdown?
I did.
I did.
I nailed it.
Four for four on first touchdown.
That's absurd, Kyle.
I bet, well, I bet four every time.
Okay.
I give you out four units on four different players.
So who'd I bet on?
Myers.
Myers.
Myers, Jacobs.
I put a crazy one on Renfro.
You said he was hungry.
I said he was hungry.
And Love.
So I'm basically betting on the Raiders to score
first, and I'm essentially betting
on Adams, Devontae
Adams, not to score. Because
the only touchdown scorers on
the Raiders are Josh Jacobs,
Devontae Adams, and Jacoby Myers.
Correct? Renfro's not a TD
scorer? He has zero. Okay.
He has zero. He's pissed.
He only had a couple
last year.
That's my math. And if I put it on
Adams, that's a negligible payout
for what I'm betting. Myers was plus
$1,200? Yeah, he's plus
$250 anytime. I got that.
Maybe $220.
So I quadrupled my money.
So you're way, way up.
Four units made...
600, right?
I turned 200 to 600.
Yeah.
It's a good bet.
The thing is, you're never going to lose.
Well...
Statistically?
It's my favorite method of betting right now.
You canvass the area.
I know.
Yeah, it's going to lose a bunch.
But four for four is four for four. When I. Yeah, it's going to lose a bunch.
But four for four is four for four.
When I run out of my stash, I'm done.
Really?
But you keep building your stash pretty good.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I might never run out.
Good on you.
What do you think of the game?
You're an AFC West guy as of yesterday, right?
No, just the Broncos.
Oh, you're just the Broncos. Yeah, I spent a lot of time
on the Broncos. Star stud
team, a lot of pizzazz.
Tell me about Champ Bailey. Did you go that far back?
I didn't do defense. Worst uniforms
in the NFL. Very, very dated.
Very dated. But their 80s throwback
uniforms are incredible. The ones they wore on
Sunday are fire. Used to have some of the best
uniforms. Yeah.
And I bet you they were cool when they came out with the new ones,
but they're just stuck in the 2000s.
Demarius Thomas?
Demarius Thomas is dead.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
I know the name is, I'm guessing CTE, they think?
I thought it was a heat stroke for some reason.
He had a seizure.
Was he not COVID?
He was probably vaxxed.
He was vaccinated.
I don't know why he died.
I think he had a seizure.
There's no way of knowing. He had a car accident two years think he had a seizure. There's no way of knowing.
He had a car accident two years later, had a seizure.
Then he tested for CTE.
Damn.
This is a hot start.
No Sean Moreno.
Yeah.
A lot of tears.
He was the crying guy.
I saw the clip.
Yep.
The thickest, biggest tears during the national anthem.
Yeah.
For what reason?
Patriot.
Okay.
Name is a portmanteau dad's name is knowledge mom
ver verona or
for shona vashona so he's a portmanteau of his parents aren't we all did you get into uh the
Peyton Manning era Julius Thomas just? Just that he was the quarterback.
That was a fun team.
Undeniably.
Jake Plummer is the man.
Is he?
He's the mushroom guy now?
Yeah.
He grows like lion's mane.
He sells mushrooms?
Yeah.
He has a mushroom farm outside of...
He also plays handball, right?
But it's not the fun handball
where you're like
jumping and throwing it.
Oh, it's like the off the wall?
Off the wall.
There's two handballs.
How do we let that happen? I think there's team handball individually oh what is what is the one
there's two sports called the same thing team handball is like is where you run and you throw
it into a net with a guy guarding it and but you can't jump inside the three point the line it's
like soccer but yeah with hands with hands but you can't get very close right and then and then
the other the handball that jake plumber plays is like
racquetball without a racket you're like in a room and you're just slapping oh yeah i played
it yeah that's weak yeah you're playing right you seem like you would be good at racquetball
no my dad is oh is he what's your leisure sport of choice ko
hacky sack now yeah you guys i was i play in my apartment i do too my downstairs neighbors
probably hate me we just sacked right up until noon today i got to do a thousand a night before
bed a thousand hacky sacks a thousand hackies kyle i caught you doing 20 20 just a second ago
i'm getting better i can't do 20 to yourself i was better than than Kyle in grade school. We both had the record.
No, you can't both have a record, man.
I had the record.
I got 99.
We bring this up all the time.
It was my record.
But we didn't know each other's record at the time.
If I had known your record, I would have kept going after I beat it.
Well, whose record did you break?
The one that I thought, I think it was Shelton's. Shelton Shia? I think it was. Whose record did you break? The one that I thought I think it was Shelton's
Shelton Shia? I think it was
Whose record did you break?
I broke Schilling's, Schilling-Rodacher
Okay, 99?
Yeah
What was the record when you broke it? It was 98?
No, it was like a 91, 90
Schilling-Rodacher was a good soccer player
You have the record
Thanks
I'll break it tonight.
Case Keenum.
Mm-hmm.
I had no idea.
About what?
He existed?
Passing yards, touchdowns, and completions in the NCAA.
Oh, yeah, he was huge at Houston.
He was a big-time guy.
I'm a little late to catching up on anus every week,
but I watched last week's episode,
and we have some parallel thinking, Kyle that that i'm you're you're pro like basically every quarterback
yeah yeah this is something i think if you made it to the position to be a starting quarterback
you are a level of elite that is incomprehensible to the average yeah that's mine yeah i uh i've i've
i've been of that mind as well zach wilson like that out of me. I think Case Keenum is a perfect example.
What is he as a quarterback in the NFL?
He was a decent starter.
Quality backup, right?
He was a decent starter.
He brought the Vikings one game away from the Super Bowl.
Oh, he threw the Diggs pass, right?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That was like...
Then the birds fucked him up.
Yeah.
They ended up going on to win that year, right?
Yep.
Unlike last year when they
didn't the quarterbacks in the the last four quarterbacks were Bortles Keenum Foles and Brady
yeah it's a squad right yeah I was re-watching that Foles Super Bowl I mean that guy could do
no wrong what is he worshipped as a god in Philly yeah there's a statue of him well yeah we call him
Big Dick Nick. Sure.
Is his dick actually big or is it just like a massive hog?
It's like urban legend.
You should be Big Dick Nick.
So it is urban legend.
There's like girls who have...
The dick is urban.
I think it's like a locker room.
If you understand what we're saying.
So is there verifiable proof that he has a big dick?
I think there's like a locker room type of...
We've seen it and he's packing a piece.
Oh, so it's been verified
by other players.
I believe so.
All right.
But yeah,
but like no player
on your team
is going to be like,
yeah, my quarterback
has a tiny dick.
Who's got the most
legendary dick
in sports history?
Teddy Bridgewater?
Teddy Bridgewater.
He played for the
he started for the Broncos.
He's just named
the Broncos.
But he does have
a legendary dick.
That Louisville picture
of him as a legendary dick.
Does Wikipedia talk about his dick?
They don't
They just say he went to Miami Northwest
We should add that
But motherfucking
Clinton
Or Willis McGahee
Yeah
Ten kids
Nine women
Really?
What's the one that got two?
How'd she pull that off?
I want to hear about her
I always remember hearing Juan Uribe Was What's the one that got two? How'd she pull that off? Yeah, she needed that. I want to hear about her. She backed it, yeah.
I always remember hearing Juan Uribe was famous.
Does this ring a bell for you?
It rings a bell.
He had like a Coke can dick, was how it was described.
Was he also a prolific father, too?
I feel like he was a prolific father.
I feel like legendary dick and prolific father probably go hand in hand.
Yeah, prolific father.
It would be weird to have a legendary dick and not be a prolific father. A celibate man with a legendary dick and prolific father probably go hand in hand. Yeah, prolific father. It would be weird to have a legendary dick and not be.
A celibate man with a legendary dick.
It's like baby shoes never worn.
I don't know any other legendary dicks in sports.
I mean, you see them.
They come up on Twitter.
I just don't remember the name.
What do you mean by size?
Yeah, like monsters.
Big old pieces. Yeah. Yeah. I don don't remember the name. What do you mean by size? Yeah, like monsters. Big old pieces.
Yeah.
I don't know. Hard to say.
That Stanford women's swimmer.
Huge set of balls on her.
What's up, Kate?
When it's discovered that one of your teammates
has a huge dick,
is it like an unspoken thing until two teammates make eye contact
and then it starts becoming, hey, look at that thing?
I think on the professional level, it becomes a rallying cry.
Like if you're in Little Leagues, it's weird.
We got this guy with us.
Yeah.
Okay, so I've had in college wrestling, we had one guy,
and he was ruthlessly made fun of for it.
For having a big dick very embarrassed
Yeah cause he's like a
Oh we've talked about him Cole Baxter
And he saw him over the weekend he says you gotta stop bringing that up
Yeah cause didn't his students watch the episode
No he's a salesman but
Okay
Shout out Cole Baxter we won't bring it up anymore
Who was the teacher that we brought up
That was Jordan Marrero.
I mentioned his dick.
Not size-wise, but style.
He's a coach, not a teacher.
Okay.
What do you mean style, not size?
You know, there's two styles.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Wait, what are the two styles?
When you said style, I thought you meant dressed up.
Like fashionable people.
What are the styles? We When you said style, I thought you meant dressed up. Like fashionable penis. What are the styles?
We were talking about this yesterday.
Oh, circumcised and uncircumcised?
Yeah.
I thought you meant like little ball, big dick.
Big balls, little dick.
You thought style like goth or jock.
Like a creative player.
Border role, I don't know.
Brett Favre had a pretty legendary dick.
Only because of what he did with it
Right
Only because of the exploits he had around his penis
It wasn't like urban legend
Didn't develop in the locker room
It was an external
I don't even know if it was told to us that it was big
It's just that it was visible
It was just visible
Do dick pics
Like still resonate now?
If an athlete
If a dick pic leaked
Does it like set off
Yes
In the way?
Because like back then.
Tiger Woods, that was a shocker to me.
Yeah.
That's a deal.
You don't really see dick pics now.
You see those Snapchats from like horny college players that are like,
you coming over after practice?
Yeah.
That type of shit.
But photographing a dick, it almost like the camera technology,
like it sets it back.
Like I've never seen a crystal clear dick pic.
What was KJ Jefferson's that he said this year?
He sent us.
I mean, dude, all of those college guys get sniped right now.
KJ Jefferson's was like, after the game, I want to suck them titties or something like that.
Yeah.
Or kiss them titties or something.
Oh, I'll find it.
Who's this?
Arkansas's quarterback.
But like Brett Favre's dick pic was the leading
news story in the sports world for like a month yeah two months but it wasn't the dick that was
leading the news it was the man behind the dick okay when the dick is is more talked about than
the man the owner of it bridgewater is a good example his water just threw his uniform right
yeah and farz was just dick or do you see him in the picture?
Wasn't Favre's like a black male situation, too?
Wasn't that something?
No, he's white.
Who was he sending it to?
I missed the whole thing.
So no one saw it?
Journalist, I think?
Was that a reporter?
It was Jen Sturger.
She was a Florida State super fan.
What's her name?
Lana from WWE.
CJ Perry.
CJ Perry.
She was one of the first viral fans.
Rusev.
You remember Rusev?
That was Lana.
I've got to explain all these people.
Brett Favre was like, she's going to love this.
And he just sent her his dick.
And she was like, everybody look what Brett Favre did.
That's the gist of it.
I don't think she ever showed us the dick pic.
She just told us she had the dick pic.
I thought the dick pic was out.
I thought you could see.
We've seen the dick pic.
You can see Brett.
Yeah, it looks like that African tree.
Oh, it's out.
What's that?
It looks like a baobab tree.
It looks like a Madagascar baobab.
Yeah.
It looks like a baobab tree.
I'll be the judge of that.
We did see.
This is the new dick pic right here.
After we get this win,
I'm going to try to suck them too.
Yeah. Yeah. But like you them too But no text No screenshot
I could throw that up on Twitter right now
Nah she has the face of it though
She looks like
She got that message
Zion got fucked with those too
He kind of
Did it to himself
Wasn't he a fucking porn star NBA players love porn stars
but it was the porn star
she's very pretty
yeah she went crazy
thinking of porn stars Mia Khalifa stepped in it
boy oh boy
she's cancelled
really?
she had a bunch of pro Hamas tweets over the weekend
she got fired from Playboy
lost her job.
What?
It's a shame.
I won't be able to find her naked anywhere anymore.
She said, like, to all of the people filming the war crimes,
make sure you film horizontal instead of vertical.
Because she wants to see it better.
She wants to see it better.
She's Lebanese, but she's banned from Lebanon for doing porn.
But she's pro-Palestine.
They would love her, right?
Hamas would love Mila Khalidi.
Oh yeah, totally same vibe.
I did a blog about her getting hit in the titty with a hockey puck,
and it exploded. Wait, that was her?
Yes.
The titty with a puck.
I thought she had natties.
Both exploded.
And I did a blog about it, and I was like, look at this.
And she DM'd me being being like thanks for the blog barstool's been shitty to me and your blog was
very nice because i was like i just was very like i love the story of somebody getting hit in the
titty with a hockey puck whatever she dm'd me we started dming back and forth and had like a
friendly kind of relationship and then something political was going on. And I was like, do you want to come on zero blog 30 so we could get some views.
And right at that same time,
taps did some blog that used an old screenshot of her that she didn't like.
And I've been afraid to,
I have a DM from Mia Khalifa that I haven't opened in two years.
Open it right now.
Now is the time. Oh. You gotta open it now. Open it right now. Search it. Yeah, tell us when now is
the time. You gotta open it. Oh, it makes me
anxious. Now is the time. Big Cat
texted me two days ago I'm afraid to open it. It's not
even a mean text. It was just something nice. Wait, what?
I hope the pregnancy's okay. Why don't you open it? I get anxiety.
I have like a thousand texts I don't open.
Anxiety? What a pussy. I know.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you. Yeah, I gotta be on
Zoloft. I gotta be on Zoloft I gotta be
But yeah I have an unopened like angry text from her
Message from her
You gotta read that
Open it now
And you'll realize it's not too bad
I wonder how she feels about Big Cat's
Taylor Swift sex tape
Comment
I need her take on that
Where does she fall in that debate
I mean look at us we really had a whole
you guys were thick as thieves we were thick as thieves we had a good amount of conversation
going on and coriander for years
okay oh we wanted to have her on about cuba come on come to zbt for all your real hard tj can you
pull up a chart of the most
commonly used herbs together i think it's it's climbing so what was the last one okay i just
opened it i said would you like to come on i wanted her to come on to talk about the cuban
situation i don't even remember what that is or why i'm them titties on my podcast um and she's like yeah that would be great blah blah i said uh we were
talking back and forth and then she sent me the clip of chaps's blog that used a photoshop of her
in a hot tub with bubbles all over her boobs and she said never mind y'all are fucking trash
for continuing to use photos of me from porn thank god alex cooper left i said i didn't write that
that was traps i was through him under the bus i said it was him though oh so she did get i said
i didn't write that or even know who it was from because no offense i love barstool i don't like
read the blog every day i'm not like clipping through to see what we're doing god bless us
i don't know i read everything but that's um she said of course you didn't write it but after this
is the one i didn't open for two years.
But after doing an entire episode on Call Her Daddy
about how traumatizing to me the industry was
for Barstool to keep doing that is egregious.
So no, I will not be guesting on any show
that's a part of that network.
That wasn't so bad.
That's why I avoided it.
I guess that was pretty bad.
That was mean.
That was 2021.
Do you feel better now or worse?
I feel indifferent now.
Okay.
That's good.
No, I feel good.
I gave it enough time.
Do you want to open up the big cat text?
What's that?
Do you want to open up the big cat text?
How many texts do you have that you haven't opened?
Hundreds.
Go ahead and get them.
I have a harder time opening things that I think are kind.
Let's open up that.
So I have hundreds of DMs.
What?
Then you know how that comes across. It looks like you're just
ignoring. Yeah, if you get a kind message and then
if I sent you something kind and I
didn't get anything back. I've done it to Brandon
a ton of times. You've sent me nice things
and I get so overwhelmed by it and I
really don't. What if the big
cat text is like, we approve that raise you asked
for. Just fill out this paperwork
Sign this and send it back to me
And it was like three years ago
Wait so he texted you and you only saw a preview
Not the full text
You're not semi curious
Like maybe
Whoa that's a lot of unread Kate
As I look at all of them
Hold on Let's see why am I even doing this Whoa, that's a lot of unread, Kate. Yeah, hold on. As I look at all of them.
Hold on.
Let's see.
Why am I even doing this?
What was Mia Khalifa's porn name?
Mia Khalifa.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah, so quit saying that.
Damn.
Yeah, it's just saying being a... Just nice.
Yeah, it was just nice.
See, nothing to be afraid of.
I don't know why i do that
at least you're aware of how crazy that is yeah i didn't open when nicky smokes i was going to do
the pizza rolls he sent me his address and i saw that he sent it and then i felt bad do you have
red receipts on i don't know oh no he could see that i left him on on red oh okay that's good
yeah oh did you curse the phillies by the way yes i fucked up big
time fucking dickhead i know i feel bad about it i'm gonna get him the pizza rolls today
and we'll be back to you i'll see max jumping out of the gambling cave oh and i forgot to watch his
reaction yeah i saw his first one he he escaped he he jumped out of the back of the game yeah
away from it and then was just like hanging out in the back of the game to play from it.
And then was just hanging out in the stairwell.
The stairwell was great.
He was just staring at the wall.
Is he hamming it up?
But he's still into it.
But I think he is at a baseline level
that is pretty insane.
His baseline level is crazy.
We're all into it.
I know some Maxes from back home
and he's just another philly guy yeah
for sure yeah he's a little more passionate but that's genuine i don't i don't know like part of
me is like he's insane and i'm i'm the one who's got it figured out and this guy's fucking crazy
but then the other part of me is like i don't i wish i cared about something this much i wish
there's something like maybe he's the one that's got it figured out and i need to figure out what in my life would get me
to act that way mark titus you dumb bitch i think if max was in a room alone with no cameras watching
the games he would be pretty much yeah i think he'd be the same yeah he's he's passionate about
every one of his interests like that though i saw I saw a photo of him from a boat party,
and he was drenched in sweat from dancing the entire time.
I have seen him.
He's been the sweatiest man in my life.
There's a video.
It's like King Kong.
When you're going to see darts, right, TJ?
Isn't he just like?
Oh, yeah.
Darts, darts, darts.
No, don't give him credit for that,
because this year he bailed out.
He bailed out on darts?
Yeah, he went to the beach with who?
He went to the beach with Jack McCarthy.
He kissed his brother.
Oh yeah, he kissed his brother.
And he did what? One of his boys kissed him.
That's fine. That's normal and fine.
Bro kisses are fine. You gotta love your boys.
Yeah, you gotta love them. Show them some love.
Me and Titus kissed about an hour ago.
Tongue. No lip, just tongue.
Tongue and T.
Tongue and T.
I heard it, didn't see it.
You know who I miss?
Sass?
Chris Clemmer.
He could just be standing sideways right in front of us.
I miss Chris Clemmer. I do too.
I don't miss any of those sons of bitches in New York,
but I miss him. And Sass.
Yeah, him, Sass, Rome.
Sass is here tonight. Yeah, but I miss him. And Sass. Yeah, him, Sass, Rome. Sass will be here tomorrow. Sass is here tonight.
Yeah, he gets it later.
If you miss him, maybe you could do like a podcast with him.
Yeah, you should do a podcast with him.
Oh, yeah.
They don't have any similar entry.
Wait.
You guys both are movie buffs.
I'm not really a buff, per se.
You would have had a blast
carrying that out i would have
you know that i know but i had to move yeah i had to move to chicago right you didn't know you
had to move when you started it yeah how was that conversation with them uh how'd the breakup go
it was uh hey i can't do it anymore he said yeah i keep doing it i said okay and then i texted jeff
d low i said hey please get me out of this. Really?
And then Jeff got me out of it.
I've had Jeff break up with a couple of my girlfriends for me.
Yeah, Jeff's good at it.
Jeff has gotten me out of a couple of relationships.
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
Have you had that conversation about our show with anybody yet?
Not yet.
No.
No, because nobody knows about our show at this company.
That's true.
Nobody at this company says a god damn word about our show
Ever
Anyone want to chime in?
Prove them wrong?
I don't know what show they're even talking about
Healthy Debate
Rico's been great on that
It's Dug's week on Healthy Debate
Oh yeah
He's been popping off
So Brandon imagine having a show that nobody Let's week on Healthy Debate. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's been popping off. So, Brandon, imagine having a show that nobody-
Let's talk about Healthy Debate.
Brandon, imagine having a show that nobody talks about but for three years.
Yeah.
Oh, I can't imagine that.
Oh, yeah.
I forget.
No, we talk about wrestling all the time.
Never when it was going on.
Correct.
Oh.
Also, Kate, you've done a show with me morning sunshine yeah yeah that was fun
we did almost 70 episodes did we it was a lot 70 it was like god damn i know that was a that was a
good covet production it was i took my shirt off in front of you? Didn't realize it? Wait, you saw that? I did not try to.
Did you show her dick?
No, no.
You have to in return.
Okay.
Do that right now.
So, you know, when you're doing Zoom, when you're first doing Zoom, you can do a Zoom
background, right?
Yeah.
She did a Zoom background.
It was the early days of COVID and the early days of Zoom shows, and I didn't know.
She thought she could walk behind the Zoom background.
Yeah.
Jesus.
She thought, so she walked a couple what yeah yeah hey
that's a super dumb yeah yeah a couple of feet away from the computer what type of physical plane
did you think it was when i lived in a studio apartment so i was like hold on i gotta change
and i ran like five feet behind my computer took her shirt off my closet was not a real what was
the background and you can see me like i I don't know what she's doing.
I go, and I look away because I don't want her to know.
And I say, Kate, Kate, I can see you.
Oh, man.
I didn't know this happened.
Kate, I can see you.
Kate, I can see you.
All of you.
Was anyone else on the Zoom call?
No.
Aria had to edit it.
Was it a sexy background?
No.
Aria got in there? I think you stay quiet. I edited it, too no i think you got in there you stay quiet edit it too i think
you should have not said anything did i did i tell you or did i tell you yeah i would i think you
said something yeah as soon as i took an asshole move not to tell her yeah i thought if you went
far enough it was like a curtain i think if there were other people on the call you could have given
her a heads up to not so they didn't but you're the only one that could see that
also when you go back that far
it was like her
and the background were clashing
the background was trying to shine through but her
silhouette was
what was the background?
like a cityscape or something
artsy
anyways
and those were Kate's tits
yeah I still think you gotta show her dick you have to artsy. Anyways. And those were Kate's tits.
Yeah, I still think you gotta show her dick.
You have to. It was accidental.
I didn't. No, still, you have to show dick. Doesn't matter. The balance of power is
If I see like an actress's tits in
movies, I'll DM her a dick pic.
Tit for cop.
Tit for tat.
Tit for dick.
Yeah.
Hey, sorry about that.
I love that character.
Kate Winslet has my eighth grade dick in her Twitter DMs.
Oh. How would you have sent a dick pic in 1997 he actually drew he drew it yeah and mailed it to her
97 dick pic um game boy camera and then i'd use my game boy printer yeah game oh my god
i had that it's fun ass fun ass. I like the juggling thing. Yep.
Broke the record.
How many records did you have?
I guess I broke mine.
No, no.
I ended up breaking the juggling record.
I spent a lot of time on the juggler gesture that was juggling him.
Have y'all ever tried to actually juggle?
Yeah.
No.
If you had one more hacky sack.
I've never.
Yeah.
Three.
I don't have the.
Three is easy. Three is not easy. Three is easy. It's not easy. Where's the hacky sack. I've never. Yeah. Not with three. I don't have the. Three is easy.
Three is not easy.
Three is easy.
It's not easy.
Where's the hacky sack?
No, I don't think.
Ain't no way.
Titus can.
You're going remotes?
No, we got hacky sack.
No, if he can do remotes, I'll be.
I mean, remotes is.
What the fuck?
Wow.
All right, that's.
That's.
You're making it look easy.
Yeah.
I can't do three.
No.
Wait, I want to. Yeah. Yeah, try it. I can't do three no yeah try it
let me do it
can you do two with one hand
I'm not going to stand
no way
three is just
oh
broke the damn remote
batteries everywhere
three is just the weave you just weave them Choke the damn remote batteries everywhere. Don't just step in. Don't just step in.
Three is just the weave.
You just weave them.
Yeah.
That's all you do.
Nothing to it.
I don't know what that means.
Weave?
You just throw it under the one that's in the air.
Yeah, okay.
Wow, thank you for explaining.
Now I can do it.
No, that's what I can't do.
You just throw it and then catch it.
Titus, I was a JV bullpen catcher. I have no athletic coordination.
Oh, God, dude.
I didn't think you can juggle.
No, I can't juggle.
Did they make that position for you?
I was the best bullpen catcher in the tri-state.
I think I understand it's a skill that you have to learn.
That's what I'm saying.
I didn't think it was.
Oh, you just did it naturally?
I just immediately started juggling.
It's not hard.
It's three fucking things.
That's hard. Huh? Easy. It's not hard. It's three fucking things. That's hard.
Huh?
Easy.
It's hard.
TJ, can you juggle?
It's like a birthday party host at a bouncy house place,
and I taught myself to juggle in maybe a month.
A month?
Yeah, bouncy you in West Windsor, New Jersey.
You could do it, Brandon.
You could do it with a hacky set.
You just throw one up, and then as that one's coming to land
with the left hand, you throw one under it.
Throw it with your right, catch with your left.
And you catch that one.
It's a rhythm thing.
Yeah, that's all it is.
It's not hard.
Oh, it's a rhythm thing.
Get three oranges.
Yeah.
Let me work on my rhythm.
Honey, I need to work on my rhythm for juggling purposes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, what else?
Hmm.
Hmm. You see how much Terryclaurin hates doing the dishes no he's tweeted like 18 times how much he hates doing the dishes somebody searched terry
mclaurin's twitter with dishes god damn he hates doing the dishes he's my new favorite wide receiver
i hate doing the dishes too it's the worst yeah wow he really does. Yeah, Terry McLaurin hates doing the dishes.
Over the span of many years, he hates doing the dishes.
Wait, is he a Bronco?
No, he's a commander.
You almost.
That was close.
Yeah, look at this.
Hate doing the dishes.
What is he saying?
God damn, he hates doing the dishes.
We need a maid.
I hate doing the dishes.
I hate doing the dishes.
That was just twice in March, twice in November.
Wait, was that recent?
No, 2012.
Oh, 2012.
Wait, when did you see it?
Was he in college yet?
I think people probably, yeah.
He probably wasn't in college. Oh, he was probably in middle school.
Middle school, yeah.
So at a time where everybody else has problematic tweets,
his was just about the dishes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's probably what motivated him to get to the NFL.
I bet you he doesn't do dishes anymore.
I bet you he doesn't.
I'd guarantee it.
I don't do dishes.
I don't own dishes right now, which is nice.
Oh, buddy.
Yeah.
What do you eat?
What do you eat?
You don't eat dishes.
No, I have no silverware, no dishes.
It's very freeing.
Do you eat goat food and hopefully put a fork in there? you eat goat food and hope they put a fork in there?
Yeah.
What if they don't put a fork in there?
This one time, I ordered a Caesar salad last week,
and it didn't come with a fork, so I had to barehand that thing.
You barehanded a Caesar salad?
Yeah, raw dog to salad.
So when you do that, are you diving in, or are you fingertipping it?
I'm fingertipping, a little dip, maybe grab a crouton,
and just in the mitt.
Down the hatch. I was at Mook's and he had French dips and he was just like, just pour the au jus on the table.
He had nothing to put it in.
I'm doing those like TikTok recipes on the counter.
You have no furniture.
I have no dishes.
But I have couch.
I have couch too.
I don't believe you.
I have two couches.
I want to see your couch.
Clinton Portis only has two couches.
Went bankrupt.
He's broke.
Is he?
He lives in a two bedroom now.
Does he?
Where?
His financial advisors fucked him over on some property.
Man, that's awful.
It happens.
You got to know who to trust your money with.
He was a good running back.
Damn good running back.
Incredible running back.
Yeah.
I believe he was born in Laurel, Mississippi.
Was he a Bronco?
How'd you stumble across him?
He was, yeah.
I thought he was a commander.
He traded Champ Bailey for him.
Then he was a commander.
He was never a commander, actually.
He was, well, he was.
No, he was never a commander.
He was a skin.
Yeah.
There you go.
Damn.
He's two years younger than me.
We ran the same 40 time, too.
4.26.
I hung out with Chase Daniel a lot this past weekend.
How'd that happen?
Oh, I snuck out of the bar, went to another one, sat down.
There was Chase Daniel.
We started yucking it up.
Met his wife.
Maybe fiance. Fiance. Nice guy? Yeah nice guy yeah nice guy dude he is so paid yeah he's like one of the most paid backup quarterbacks ever so
he's not in the league anymore no he's back up for san diego i think did he buy you a drink
yeah oh were they all he had a bucket of high needs at the table oh snagged one mango
yeah they had to buy one. He did.
They honored him and
Terry McLaurin. No, Terry McLaurin's Ohio State.
Who was the wide receiver there? Jeremy Macklin.
Yes. Dog.
Drew Luck.
Three Missouri quarterbacks.
Would have also accepted Brad Smith.
Did you
try to dance with Chase Daniel?
No, no, no, no no i only dance with stillers
got it and there was no music playing
well there was but nobody was really shaking ass fair i wanted to though
wasn't squished enough tj you have that text I sent you? All right, I need you all to look at this.
Who's it from?
You'd think that...
Jesus.
Look at that archway between fennel and coriander.
That's bigger than it's ever been.
Yeah, fennel and thyme still has it going on,
but that's on the up and up.
Isn't that crazy?
Thyme and rosemary are probably the thickest one, aren't they?
Crazy to follow.
Bay leaf and lemongrass, I think.
Oh, no.
Bayleaf and thyme.
Coriander and mint.
Bayleaf is also a Pokemon.
Bayleaf and lemongrass.
Somebody tell me what chervil is.
Anybody?
Chervil?
It's got to be like a...
I'm going to say it's something like this.
Like a spice or something.
Thyme is still king.
That's without doubt
time's got time and parsley could you blind taste these and differentiate christ no
i'd probably just get mint well parsley has a bigger wedge than time does
huh some of these are unmarked in between lemongrass and sage in between sage and
sure oh you're probably yeah i think this is actually a clickable infographic.
I just sent you a screenshot.
It's a very pleasing image.
Oh, yeah.
I really like it.
This was my late night reading last night.
You click on one of them, like one of the arches, and it shows you how many recipes.
Oh, it's clickable.
Yeah.
Not this one he has.
It's like Shrek's butthole.
Yeah, I guess so.
I guess so.
I made something with shallot the other night, and at the grocery store, I thought a shallot
was the grass, and so I spent a long time.
Do you guys know what shallot is?
Shallot's kind of onion, right?
Yeah.
I had to end up Googling it and asking.
Not to be confused with the leek, or what are the other ones that grow that people pull
over to pick off the side of the road?
Scallion?
No.
Scallions?
When you're driving around Bethlehem, it smells like onion
and people are always pulling over
and getting them.
What are those called?
Onion grass?
Green onions?
No, no, no.
There's a name.
Oh, well.
Do you dabble with essential oils
or just the physical grass?
Just the physical grass.
I like essential oils of other things.
Okay.
Like, I guess lavender would be...
Is that a herb?
No, Pat smothers itself in tea tree oil.
It's a flower, right?
Flower, flower.
It smells like a car. Tea tree oil? Yeah. Yeah flower, right? Flower, flower. It smells like a car.
Tea tree oil?
Yeah.
Yeah, it smells like...
It smells like a mechanic.
Very strong.
My mom's a big oil gal, and I'll be like deathly ill, and she'll be like, just rub this mint
on your face.
No, yeah, my mom gave me peppermint oil when I wanted to kill myself.
She told me to rub it on my wrist.
Yeah. me to rub it on my wrist and you're still here but it has yeah it worked
peppermint oil who knew the razor slid right off
yeah
does your wife
sling them Brandon
she's
oh yeah
if I get like a migraine
she'll come up to me
she'll start rubbing my head
with like a little
oil
I'm like that's
that's gonna do nothing
and then it's
it gets in your fucking eyes
and then it doesn't get in my eyes
but I will smell it
and then the smell
bothers me
yep
and I have to
you know whatever
no my mom sells them
she's trapped in a pyramid scheme
and she doesn't know it.
What does she sell them to?
Who does she sell them to?
Her friends?
Who then sell them to? Oh, Essential Oils?
Yeah, Alice Byers Club.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
I haven't seen that movie.
I just read it.
Yeah?
Oh, on Wikipedia?
I had no idea.
What movie?
Alice Byers Club.
You read the movie?
Kyle's been watching movies on Wikipedia.
He watches movies on Wikipedia. What the fuck his movies on wikipedia what the fuck yes they're like the oscar noms yeah like ones that i
know i'm not gonna like take devote two hours to but i do want to know what they're about so like
the artist are you gonna watch the artist that's like the black and white french shit yeah i'll
never do that you'll not you won't even read the wikipedia i actually started it was boring me
do you read it sequentially?
Like you start with like.
Started in 2005.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Sideways.
So Sideways is the first one that came up on the list.
Yeah.
And I actually didn't read it because I want to watch it.
That's impressive, Brandon.
Yeah.
What the hell?
That was the very first one from 2005.
No, I know that.
I mean.
What was Crash?
Brokeback Mountain.
Crash was the winner of 2005.
It's the winner of 2005, yeah.
Yeah, Brokeback?
So I didn't read that because I know the gist.
Is Wikipedia your number one streaming service that you use right now?
I donate to it like a hero.
It's the best.
What?
A ramp.
Yeah, people pull over and get ramps they smell like shit on the side
of the road what yeah yeah doing with ramp there's a whole ramp festival in westwood where people go
like crazy yeah people are very pumped about you always know articles and you know festivals and
you're a big festival tube and yeah. I know all that stuff.
I wonder if there's any good festivals
up here in the fall.
November 2nd,
the Anis boys
are going to FurCon.
If anybody wants to do that.
Oh, is that the big one?
November 10th.
FurCon?
Yeah, I think we're
going to FurCon.
Meaning that's where
furries go?
We're here in Chicago?
Anime slash furries.
Yes.
Or the main one.
They've had ones
where they've like
fucked the hotels up
is it at the convention center up by the airport uh yes yeah yeah how'd you get there there's a
cosplaying competition how did you know what's your fursona we should figure out what our fursonas
are like what what beast lives inside i did a bunch of blogs about furries for a while i was
following the furry beat deeply yeah and i fell deep into that world and i made them complimentary so i could gain further access into the furry world and they
made me a mock-up of who i would be um mcgonagall the patriotic snow fox and they even sent me a
drawing of what my costume would be were i to become a furry those costumes are expensive
they're putting titties on him now you should should Google. Nick, how do you figure out what's inside of you?
Oh, brother.
No.
You've said we should.
You just ask him.
You've said we should figure out what's inside of you.
Is there a fursona quiz?
Yeah, see?
Yeah.
Stupid question.
Are all furries horny?
Yes.
Nobody fucks more.
From my understanding, they're not incels at all.
A lot of them are in relationships, married.
They're weird.
They're big group sex people, though.
There's no furry that just wants to dress up like a lion.
It's like, I want to dress up like a lion and fuck.
There's always the and fuck.
What?
They're all horny.
They're all horny.
There's no just like...
It's not quite a fetish because it's out...
It's not a sexual out... No, they look like a fucking chucky cheese animatronic
tj are you mr munch yourself
are you doing oh yeah we'll find out what yours is but we all know it's a bull
yeah it's a fucking bull you're wasting your time tj the Bull. What's in you, Brandon?
I don't know.
Something squishy, probably.
Nah, I think you're reptilian.
You think I'm reptilian?
What are the categories? But that's not even a fur.
Reptiles don't have fur.
Is it just any animal?
Is that the idea?
I don't know if there's any restrictions.
Yeah.
I'd like to be a giraffe if we're just handing out...
You can't just choose, man.
Why can't you?
That's why I asked you...
Is that in your heart of hearts?
I was asking you what it takes
to find out what's inside of you.
I'm sorry.
This good-looking guy sitting over there
being in chains...
On all levels besides physical...
Who's this motherfucker?
Who's this motherfucker?
Oh, he's locked in.
Yeah, he's not even paying attention.
Look at the way you spoke to him.
How you doing?
It's always disheartening when the behind- scenes guys are way better looking on camera yeah how did you wind up here yeah why are
you here uh my wife is out here for a for her work so i figured i'd come out here and see the
new office which is not done yeah it's not it's. It's not coming here. Nice. Oh, thanks.
There we go.
Is this the same conference for your wife next year?
Because then maybe you'll get to see the new office.
Well, I'll be out here for BSI, so hopefully it's done by then.
Oh, the basketball.
The invitational coming up.
Yeah, that's what we're calling it.
November 8th.
Oh, BSI.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah, the BSI basketball tournament.
We're doing stuff for that.
Oh, yeah, we are.
Yeah. What are we doing?
I don't know.
We'll figure it out.
We're playing basketball, which is good for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You still ball up?
Do you play?
No, no, I haven't.
I'm way too old.
I don't.
I'm way too old.
Wasn't asking.
You're not.
No.
Yeah, I'm a prime candidate for blowing out my knees for sure
i have weak knees and i've never had a serious knee injury before so i just feel like if you
get one now you're fucked what makes your knees weak um they're not strong i don't know how to
answer that what do you mean titties embracing your lover yeah i get that did you ever play like league like uh like a men's league like a men's league
after college no not really i i would fill in for friends when they were like we're in this men's
league and we needed we only have four tonight can you play and then i would go and pretty much
hate the entire experience yeah because it was just yeah take it too seriously that's what i yeah i played for like an old gal's rugby league after i got out of college for a while and i
thought it'd be easier because we'd all be older and it turns out they have like the crazy mom
strength like they it was worse and way more painful than college well the people that stay
doing that stuff into their adulthood never lose the passion for it they are very serious about it
at all times.
It's never relaxed.
It was way more serious.
It was never relaxed.
I thought it was going to be fun
and let's all just go drinking.
No, it was like...
Are there adult wrestling leagues?
I think that's the one sport
where we all agree that it's so miserable
that we wouldn't even do it.
There's got to be some rec leagues.
I think there was in Hoboken,
but I think it's guys learning the sport. Okay. Like the sport okay like late like a lot of dudes late in life or like in their 30s 20s get it get into
like jujitsu they listen to rogan especially now yeah so when y'all get to the end of the college
y'all are like we're done oh yeah no i don't know people love it still like a lot of people coach
and coaching and wrestling they just hire guys who can wrestle like
yeah what if what if tommy walker wanted to wrestle for his school would you be his private
coach would you make him a champion he just if he wanted to and decided to i would devote
once every two weeks so that's not much yeah i know but that's what i would do
i don't know if that's going to make him a champion that's
the problem right are the best coaches in wrestling the guys who are the best wrestlers
because like in basketball doesn't work that way no that the guys were the best players
oftentimes yeah like the best coach is kale sanderson olympic champ so it does translate
yeah for wrestling because a lot of it is just wrestling the team like wrestling the guys what's it gonna
so that's you're just the alpha it's when you're the coach you're the alpha and everybody all the
guys just wrestle you that's interesting what's it gonna cost me to get one of the only sports
like that where the coach is just yeah dominating coaches fuck there's no there's no like like
basketball it's not uncommon for a guy
who didn't even play.
He just was a manager in college
but knows the game and knows the...
Yeah, like Mike McDaniel.
Mike McDaniel wasn't an awesome football player per se.
Wrestling is the inverse.
How can I get once a week
lessons for Tommy Walker? What's it going to cost me?
It's not money.
It's just I don't...
Maybe if he was into it and he was improving rapidly,
I would do once a week.
All right.
Try to get him up to that level.
There we go.
I think that would be a sport for him.
He's so small now.
Yeah.
He's very small.
Look at you.
It's tailored to guys who are small. Oh, because you also get to wrestle small now. Yeah. He's very small. Look at you. It's tailored to guys who are smaller.
Oh, because you also get to wrestle small guys.
Yeah, yeah.
But he's like.
He's what?
He's 12?
He's 13 now.
13 weight.
But his 10-year-old brother is bigger than he is.
How much does he weigh?
I don't know.
I don't know how much kids weigh.
How much do kids weigh?
Tommy's probably about 65 pounds.
Why don't you just weigh him? 70? Well, I don't need to know. Well, I don't even know. You don't know how much kids weigh. How much do kids weigh? Tommy's probably about 65 pounds. Why don't you just weigh him?
70?
Well, I don't need to know.
Well, I don't even know.
You don't own a scale?
Yeah.
Scales are not allowed in my house.
I'm big.
Big guy.
I've been walking, though.
Oh, he's a toucan.
Who's a toucan?
TJ's a toucan?
Oh, that's unique.
You're always down for some drinking games and cheesy pickup lines.
You don't see a lot of those.
Yeah.
Here, let's...
Oh!
Whoa!
Which one is you, TJ?
Yeah.
Wait, that's just your apartment, dude.
I feel like they always drive Kia Souls and PTers and like yeah a lot of vaping crossover i know furries do um
vape tricks inside their furry costumes that's a whole genre of furry wow that is is those suits
have to smell like shit yeah oh i didn't know all this i thought i thought they just put on
these costumes and fuck each other the thing too the costumes are super expensive so you sell you
wear your fur costume for a while and then you sell it to a new furry to be
able to afford the new ones that are like thousands and thousands of dollars.
Have you seen that polyamorous couple of wolves that live in like northern...
There's like a polyamorous couple of wolves.
Not couple, but throuple, I guess.
There's a video about them adding a fourth to their pack.
Is this real wolves?
No, they're dorks. Oh, I see. But they a video about them adding a fourth to their pack. Is this real wolves? No, they're
dorks.
But they don't wear furries. They just think their
soul is a wolf. Some of them wear ears.
Some of them wear a tail butt plug. I know the viral
guy who's like...
This guy's a wolf. These guys are always
poly. It's always the
fucking redheads.
The reason why I don't have my actual wedding
ring is because it was fucking
stolen. And could I report it? No. Fucking redheads, dude.
Personality unrelated?
That looks like a very thin Frank the Tank.
Whoa.
Yeah, don't. Whoa.
Yeah.
Really?
Holy shit.
That's a narrow Frank.
Wow.
Narrow Frank.
Like, very similar energy.
He's the alpha of his pack.
How did we end up with this?
Huh?
He's a wolf.
I can't.
Where does he do wolf things?
Can we see the one where he's not a wolf?
No, no, no.
They don't wear.
Some of these guys don't wear wolf stuff.
They just have the soul of one.
My fiance is fit to be alpha. This isn't the group I was talking about, but there's millions. They just have the soul of one.
This isn't the group I was talking about, but there's millions.
You were thinking of a different polyamorous group of wolves.
Yes.
When I was looking for a fella, they're not furries, but I found groups of people. They call themselves quadrupeds.
They live and commit where they're always on all fours. but I found groups of people, they call themselves like quadrupeds, and they like live in,
where they're always on all fours,
and they,
that's.
That's kind of wrestling,
isn't it?
Isn't that like a wrestling practice?
A parterre position,
yeah.
But as soon as they get home from work,
they live in like polyamorous groups,
or as soon as they walk through the door,
they're down on all fours,
and that's how they stay all weekend,
that's how they do everything.
How do furries pick the furry
they're gonna fuck whatever they're attracted to because you can't you don't see the person you
just see the costume right but that what you're seeing is the real them man yeah that is true
and i think a lot of them fuck with the costumes though oh i didn't know they did that
yeah there's like dick holes right yeah yeah ever Ever see Entourage where drama fucks a furry?
No.
No.
I don't remember that.
Yeah, it's supposed to be turtle, but...
Oh my God.
What?
Drama's a...
Oh God.
That can't be that many of them.
They do the horniest artwork of all time, too.
Why is it further confusion at the fur...
Okay, that's...
Yeah, FurCon.
This is the one...
Y'all are going to this.
We're going to try to swing by.
Yeah.
There was one infamous convention years ago that like there are some cuties up
the hotel so bad they partied like so hard that they've been banned from whatever but they go hard
i gotta ask you nick i don't see anybody in this video that's not a furry so won't you stick out
like a sore thumb i think i'll wear ears and maybe
paws maybe like a snout and tail oh there was a couple normies in there no there wasn't there
was one i saw one i promise you they weren't normal your costume was just a pig snout with
a rubber band yeah i mean that's what do you do there's way too many like they could be anywhere
what do you do if tommy's like mom dad this is really interesting to me and i would like to pursue
i want i want a fur costume and i want to go to like a fur con i want to fuck
they gotta put him in the army yeah yeah these are the big so there's big boob furries too that
well that's a half a fur yeah that's that's the kansas state mascot
oh he's getting motorboat wait that okay i look at look at her she's stacked as fuck yeah
they are sexual zaha you wouldn't grab the titty
you grabbed the right hours
zaha last time we did a college football show,
a furry came up and said they wanted to meet you.
Name was Brandy.
Yeah, that's right.
She was a furry.
Interesting culture.
Interesting subculture.
It's not really that interesting, though.
I don't think it is.
I think it's just Halloween year round.
You guys are typical jocks.
You'll never get it.
All right. Just Halloween year-round. You guys are typical jocks. You'll never get it. Let's see. Nick.
Tell them about High Noon.
Gladly.
It's time to load up on the ice and break out
the oversized lawn games because the High Noon
Game Day Pack is back.
It includes limited edition fan faves
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along with black cherry and grapefruit,
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The High Noon Game Day Pack is your fall exclusive,
which means it's here for a good time,
not a long time.
Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate
to find a pack near you.
What sandwich would you pair with a high noon?
A nice cranberry high noon.
Nice, uncrustable. Cranberry would be turkey
I would do like a turkey sub
What about a pear high noon?
What sandwich are you pairing?
A brie and turkey
Sandwiches
Sandwiches are good
I can't eat deli meat
Ruben's probably the best but
ruben common name for an american idol winner ruben stuttered and i believe
taylor hicks middle name was oh my god uh cj anderson loves sonic the hedgehog can we pull
up cj anderson's headshots that he's gotten i love looking at cj anderson's media day headshots who is c he's 5 8 225 dude
he's so funny to look at and not he's so i don't know that's a running back about a number so funny
dude i just love looking at cj anderson man no that the light blue one is so yeah just media day pictures when you
don't get a number yet every single one's like a mom i threw up it looks like black jersey jerry
oh yeah what was his 40 time yeah he does
what a tank dude yeah cj anderson was good in fantasy for a couple years
who yeah yeah i'm starting to remember a little bit that's the one What a tank, dude. Yeah. C.J. Anderson was good in fantasy for a couple years. Who?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm starting to remember him a little bit.
Taylor Hicks.
A thousand year rush.
He stopped being famous almost immediately after winning Idol, right?
He went in the Soul Patrol, brother.
He was so famous on Idol, though.
Yeah.
Like, that's crazy. Gray hair?
Yeah.
Awful singer.
Really bad singer.
No, I know he performed the 2007 Liberty Bowl that I went to.
Oh.
The halftime show. I'm hoping WVU makes the Liberty Bowl. I'll be going this year. Yeah. he performed the 2007 Liberty Bowl that I went to. The halftime show.
I'm hoping WVU makes the Liberty Bowl.
I'll be going this year.
Is he the Silver Fox?
Yeah.
There he is.
With Dave.
I noticed Taylor Hicks way before I noticed Dave.
Interesting.
Where was that?
Was it Alabama?
Is Taylor Hicks from Alabama?
I'd imagine. That makes sense yeah checks out uh huh what i don't know um what's going on the rest of the week you're gone friday
i'm going friday we got sass you're're gone Friday too? Yeah. All right.
You're going big boy.
We'll concoct some.
Going to the Great Smoky Mountains.
Oh, that sounds lovely.
My dad and sister have never been there.
Nice.
They're beautiful.
I'm excited.
You doing Dollywood?
Is that there?
Yeah.
I don't even know what Dollywood is, to be honest.
Oh, it's Dolly Parton's Amusement Park.
I didn't know she had an amusement park.
It's magical.
It's wonderful.
And the food is good when it comes to magical amusement parks there's one that comes to you two um dorney park yeah yeah what does it look like what's dollywood look like is it big it's
in the great smokies and there's a real like steam engine train that goes through it and dolly comes
through all the time on like a
horse-drawn carriage like actually her comes through i went right before christmas once
and then there's all the no but there's all these smoking areas where people just
chalk block their old people in and like we'll be back in two hours grandma there's just like
all these areas with old people just like parked there's always a bunch of people waiting outside
of mgk's coffee shop in Cleveland.
27 Club, hoping to see them.
Very cool. All the drinks are pink.
I didn't know MGK had a coffee shop.
Yeah, 27 Club. It's all these rock stars on the wall that died at 27 and him.
He's like 34. It's a real coffee shop?
Yeah.
Maybe next time, pal.
So, Janis Joplin?
Yeah, the drummer for The Who.
Amy Winehouse? Mac? I'm a pal. So Janis Joplin? Yeah, the drummer for The Who. Jimi Hendrix.
Amy Winehouse.
Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse.
Mack.
Mack Miller.
Was Kurt Cobain?
Was Karen Carpenter, 27?
Yeah, maybe.
Tupac?
No, he was younger.
He was younger than that.
He was younger than that?
Jesus.
I think he was like 25.
Tarveris Jackson.
Wow, did he die at 27?
I don't know.
Did you just name a quarterback?
A dead quarterback.
He just died.
Wait, what?
Yeah, Traveris Jackson.
He did?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was a Seahawks guy?
Yeah, Twitter searched his name and no one talked about his death.
People didn't really talk about Vincent Jackson's death either.
Shit.
Vincent Jackson's dead?
Yeah.
Bo Jackson's name is Vincent Jackson.
Jim Harbaugh has more rushing yards than Bo Jackson?
Bo Jackson does not have a lot of rushing yards.
He only played like 24 games.
Or maybe John Harbaugh?
One of the Harbaughs has more rushing yards than Bo Jackson by like 10.
Bo Jackson never had a 1,000-yard rushing season.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
Yeah, he only played three years.
Then he would have had to have had a 1,000-yard rushing season
because he had
2700 yards rushing no he his most was like 984 i think oh my god and he because he didn't play
until baseball season ended oh because he also played major league baseball that's right like
dion forgot about the well better than dion dion was bo was an all-star in both sports
dion was a hall of Famer in football
and played baseball.
He was not a very good...
Bad athlete. You heard it here, folks.
Bad athlete.
No, he's not a very good Major League Baseball player,
but an incredible baseball player. What about college football
coach?
So far, so good. Are you sick of him yet?
Of the team, or no? I'm sick of
Titus bringing him up every goddamn day. He was sick of dion before the season started well i just it was a lot titus has been throwing
neck for sure even off camera but brandon and i looked up remember long neck oh yeah we looked
him up the other day oh shit he has a kid he does he has a tattoo that says lick here with an arrow
pointing up oh yeah um i saw him at a chiropractor which is a big gamble no you yeah my god that
should count as a suicide attempt yeah i saw a chiropractor video of him getting cracked
it was long neck there was wide neck there's also crooked neck. Who was the bad guy? There's also crooked neck now, too. And crooked neck? It goes like this.
Who's crooked neck?
He's good.
I guess I explained him perfectly.
Wait, didn't wide neck die?
Wide neck didn't die.
Yeah, look at that.
Oh.
Wide neck's dead?
No way.
I thought maybe.
You must be confusing him with Travaris Jackson.
Pardon me
You don't remember Long Neck?
Your mouth was a gate
There's nothing to remember
I've never seen this man
What?
I think he's got a
Did he work here?
It was him and a fat guy
No, that's your
You're close
One of his more recent videos
Is two ladies just jacking off his neck
No, why would
Something I should remember
he was something that he was the internet famous and about this is like he's got a latina baby mama
this was a run at sick that type of person was big on like instagram and snapchat it was all
it was it was no it was just necks and then jackass style stuff but it was popular again
because they looked so goofy they weren't even doing jackass style stuff i think they were just
like throwing cake on themselves.
No, they were doing music videos, weren't they?
Can I get an example?
Can I see?
Squeezing lemons into my eyes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Off my house.
Can I see this long neck guy's work?
Crooked Neck's on the come up.
I think he's new to the game.
I have not seen Crooked Neck yet.
I haven't seen Crooked Neck.
Yeah, his neck's crooked as fuck.
You've seen Wide Neck.
No, Wide Neck's the boy.
Who's Wide Neck?
Wide Neck, you'd know if you saw him.
Oh, no, no, no. I remember Wide Neck. Was that a blackck's the boy. Who's Wide Neck? Wide Neck, you'd know if you saw him. Oh, no, no, no.
I remember Wide Neck.
Was that a black guy?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, I know.
Exactly.
That's the one I was talking about.
You.
Sorry.
No.
What's he riding on?
Oh, no.
Is he riding on his big boyfriend?
Yeah, is that the big boy?
I don't like this.
Get him help.
Oh, that dude's crazy. Oh, that dude's crazy.
Yeah, that guy's crazy.
All right.
This brand of content's weird.
Did not enter my purview.
I don't know how it did.
I don't know how my algorithm didn't.
So Widenack linked with them in the beginning.
Can I say Widenack?
Fuck with that.
I feel like it speaks volumes about you as a person.
Like you're so much better than us.
I'm pretty sure Wide Neck could swallow a fucking can of liquid gel.
I know this guy.
This guy I remember.
This guy I remember.
Oh, my God.
This guy will probably need a bigger hammer.
These are OG fellas.
Yeah, these are fellas.
They're OG fellas.
They paved the way. We just need to see his old mugshot. I guess I thought he died for something. Yeah, I remember this mug're OG fellas They paved the way
I guess I thought he died for some reason
Yeah, I remember this mugshot
Up to the right
Holy shit
So, to Keo Spikes
Great wide neck
Paul Pazlesny, incredible neck
Yeah
Keo Spikes probably the goat neck
I'm a Pazlesny guy
You think Paul Pazlesny has a better neck than Keo Spikes? neck yeah yeah keel spikes probably the goat neck i'm like two cj anderson's right there yeah
you think paul's doesn't he has a better pull up his yeah keel spikes i started appreciating
necks more and i'm starting to work on my own i didn't how are you working out next like you just
curls with the put a fucking plate on my forehead on the bench are you hoping it gets pretty wide
i guess it's easy it's an easy muscle to grow. Really?
Yeah.
Oh.
You're working out your neck.
Yeah.
Bro.
You have these things you put your head in. I want a thicker neck.
You beat the gym, man.
You win.
I want a thick ass neck.
He's got to match his stacked ass.
I get that.
Stacked sweaty ass.
Yeah, your stacked neck.
It wasn't a sweaty ass it
was poop yeah it wasn't poop it was like oil it was post oh my god after birth yeah
how's surviving bar still going does anybody know they've been pretty mum
they've been pretty mom what is mom silent quiet mummy that's a good way to remember it
mummies are always talking What is mum? Silent. Quiet. Mummy. That's a good way to remember it.
Mummies are always talking. Oh, that's a...
This November, get ready for a college basketball experience like no other.
The Barstool Sports Invitational is back again Wednesday, November 8th.
Two days before FurCon.
Easy way to remember that.
Yes.
At Wintrust Arena in Chicago.
I've got something in my eye.
In the first part of the doubleheader, we have FAU
returning most of their team from the Final Four last year
versus hometown Loyola Chicago
and Sister Jean.
Tip-off is at 6 p.m. Central Time.
In the second game, we have the battle
of Brandon Walker versus Bobby Hurley
as Mississippi State takes on Arizona State.
Is that what it says?
Are you playing?
I'm not.
I might sit on the bench, though.
They might need you, dude.
Toluse Smith out.
I know.
It sucks.
It sucks bad.
Are you still doing that whole Mississippi State thing?
I am.
I am.
Have you considered just picking a new school?
Nope.
That's who I love.
That's who I was born into.
Can't help it
can't choose your teams you could have been an alabama fan from your mom my mom tried to make
me an alabama fan i refused it i won't i like miss you regret that at all that's no i i am
comfortable you actually can choose your teams like that's how it works i didn't choose my teams
um yeah i didn't choose the dolphins i didn't choose um the braves i didn't choose any so okay
let's get existential should you make that choice yourself is it bad parenting to raise have you
ever intentionally chosen like have you ever thought about that have you ever sat and said
like i'm an adult now i can make my own choices and like i should re-evaluate no do you want to
be a woman now too is that no okay are you really even a mississippi state fan If you never actually chose Mississippi State, how can you say you're a Mississippi State fan?
I've been there.
You're not consciously deciding.
I've been in it my whole life.
It's like being born straighter gay.
You can't.
It's not your call.
Yeah, like you were raised in a cult, but you're not even sure if you believe what the cult is.
No, I believe.
Have you ever stopped?
I believe the cult.
Have you ever stopped and evaluated what the cult is teaching you and said,
yeah, I actually do believe this, or am I just doing this
because I was on this track? People leave their religions
all the time. I don't go to Catholic.
What are y'all doing? Yeah, when you stop believing.
I don't want to get out of this. I'm
fine. I was raised gay. Now I'm straight.
Really? Made that choice. Good for you.
Or bad for you. Who knows?
You remember that Low Anthony
kid? Like he was the gayest kid. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's straight you. Who knows? You remember that Low Anthony kid?
Like he was the gayest kid.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's straight now.
No way.
He's a straight Christian now.
No way.
He was the gayest kid online.
My God.
His wrists were never straight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's straight now.
He is.
Or claims to be.
How straight is he?
He's like preaching the word of God. Yeah. To save you sad yeah oh shit is he the tiktok he's who's the tiktok or the other guy that says i don't
like men's no more he's in a church oh yeah and he's like i don't like men's no more i've been
delivered i don't like men's yeah it's a good one. I remember in high school, when we were all in high school,
the gayest kids were so gay.
I feel like you had to be.
I feel like you had to go all out.
There was no spectrum, yeah.
Yeah.
The spectrum, you were either...
It wasn't transient.
Yeah, it's weird what happens because before high school,
the gayest kids were the straightest kids.
Like the dudes that got girls at sleepovers were always doing gay shit. Yes. But then in high school, gayest kids were the straightest kids like the dudes that got girls
at sleepovers were always be gay doing gay shit yes yeah but then in high school talking to girls
yeah yeah then in high school they just let it all hang out yeah now it's you can be whatever
whatever wherever do you see tony p's video sort of about this topic about vibrant masculinity
no but i've been pumping out that vibrant stuff. What's vibrant?
What's vibrant masculinity?
It's like being so passionate and flamboyant
about your masculinity,
which is kind of how he lives his life.
That's the philosophy he's trying to preach.
Okay, can we see one?
Flamboyant?
Yeah, like paradoxical.
Masculinity, part one.
If I could distill vibrant masculinity into one sentence
fucking love would be you can do both and what i mean by this is that you can love things like go
to the gym you can love you know things like football and really kind of the more traditionally
masculine things that we've seen in society you can embrace those things go all in but at the
same time embracing new things like creativity whether it be cooking or going to the theater.
Oh, vibrant masculinity is just gay.
Okay.
Be confident.
You can like knitting mittens and you can be a man.
No. in terms of leadership, I always look at it this way. Instead of dominating control,
uplift, connect, and inspire.
Instead of suppressing emotion, keeping it deep down,
it's about channeling it and expressing it in a very consistent and healthy way.
Someone who truly captures the essence of vitamin.
Yeah.
Thank you, Ty.
All right, all right, all right.
Very nice.
Very nice. Very nice.
We got it.
I think I'm going to keep bottling my shit up.
Yeah.
Diet 45.
I mean, you just went on a rant about fennel.
Yeah.
Well, not alone.
Not really a rant either.
I mean, he was just kind of informational about it.
I was trying to raise awareness.
What, Brandon?
I was looking on Twitter, and John Rich has a tweet about a sport
that I just...
I'm going to send it to TJ right now.
I just want you guys to see it. I've never seen it.
I was unaware of it.
And I would like... Oh, and Clemmer just texted
and missed you, too.
But missed doing baseball
sporkles with you more okay that got i got too much
oh can jam oh he's never i love can jam yeah of course just flex that can jam by the way these
are hot they call it dysflexion as i call it what it's can jams probably official oh yeah it's my
favorite that's can jam when i see that the box for can jam and like dicks that's what that is
yeah it is fantastic and at last.
Huh.
It is fun.
I feel like these guys aren't fun about it, though.
No.
No.
The second it gets to this level, it stops being fun.
Agreed.
I also love the one with the two sticks that you put in your pocket.
I haven't seen one smile.
Are those teammates or are they opponents?
They're teammates.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Oh, that was.
You really, really want to get it in the slot.
It's hard to see, but there's a slot in the front. It's like 10 points. You can get it in a slot? Oh, yeah. Oh, was You really really Want to get it in the slot It's hard to see
But there's a slot
In the front
It's like 10 points
You can get it in the slot
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Right in the slit
You treat it right
Oh slot wins
Yeah
And I think
Hitting the can is 5
And then hitting it is
Just 1
If they tap it into the can
It's
I've always been aware
Can jam existed
But didn't really know what it was.
I like it more than Spikeball.
Spikeball is a bunch of artists.
Spikeball players are the worst.
Spikeball is kind of on the trajectory of Pickleball.
Think it's getting too big?
Getting too big.
Too serious?
I don't like tailgating games being competitive to that degree.
You don't like competitive cornhole?
No.
Those guys kind of ruin cornhole.
I think when you're at tailgate,
trying to win is fine, obviously.
Yeah.
Yeah, when you're like,
I'm going to go compete.
Yeah, when you're seeking out cornhole.
Let's leave it at the tailgate.
I'm going to practice this
in my back yard.
I will be bringing a hacky sack
to the Bears tailgate this weekend
if anybody wants to come
I'm down for that.
kick around.
Sunday.
Do you know where yet or no?
Not a clue.
It's got to be Soldier Field, right?
Yeah, it's probably. It's got to be.
Yeah. I mean, it could be Wrigley,
but probably not. Probably not. That's the one on the lake,
right? That's the one on the lake. That's tough.
You got to do some hoofing.
Yeah, you got to do some hoofing.
You really do.
Sorry that was dumb, but I tried to go to the beach there on a game
day. Tough. Yeah. Can't do it.
Are you hyped for that book?
We got a shout out Kevin from Portland.
Big shout out Kevin from Portland. He sent me a
book from
Aaron Draplin, my favorite graphic designer.
Yeah, thank you Kevin.
Yeah, good guy. He was at your show and Sass's show.
Yeah, he gave me a book on how to start
gaining
passive income. Really?
It's a sneak diss.
Wait, so he got me something that's on my interests He got Kyle a book that's on your interests
Then you got a passive income
That's why he's the best man
That's fucking awesome
Shout out Kevin
Are you doing shows this week?
Yeah we start tonight
Where are you guys going to be?
Zany's, Old Town
One tonight, one tomorrow, one Thursday, and then two Friday, two Saturday.
Nice.
It's going to be a long week.
I wouldn't mind looking at that passive income book if you ever had it on.
You can have it because I have no income to be passive with.
I have nothing to start with.
I don't think that refers to your income currently.
I've got to read the book.
Okay.
You're right.
I'll give it to you after.
Brandon, are you good financially?
Oh, I'm great.
I'm good.
I'm not great.
But I'm fine.
I just, any little bit helps.
I like it.
Luke's income is extremely passive right now.
Okay.
Yeah.
My direct income is passive.
Yeah, he's wrong-handed.
He's a salad.
I got a check for $25 last night.
Is that how you do get checks like that? Yeah.
And it's like the most depressing thing in the world.
Wait, for what? At a stand-up?
Yeah, like a 10-minute spot at like the
comedy bar.
$25. Come on.
In a check. They gotta give you more than that.
No. I mean, that's like a fair price
but like in a check, it's like, dude, I'm never
this is gonna stay in my backpack for
months. They know that. Because you're not gonna take a special trip to go but like in a check it's like dude i'm never this is gonna stay in my backpack for months they know
that because you're not gonna take a special trip to go cash a check i can do it on my phone but i
kind of like so i saved my checks i had like three thirty dollar checks that i saved from the summer
and i was like shit i have 90 bucks now that's pretty nice yeah why don't you start doing first
touchdowns with kyle i should i'm all out of meatballs right people ask i'm not in gonna be
in the business of giving out picks that's not that's not fun for me yep i asked you and you
wouldn't even i'm not basing it on any knowledge i'm just randomly picking just like on the vibe
not even that so i'm still last place in the uh you haven't won a game. No. No.
But I have more points than some of you.
You should have picked a better team.
How am I losing if I have more points? Hero wins.
Stephen Che fucked you over.
My quarterback didn't play the Super Bowl.
When Nick Chubb got hurt, he picked up Ramondre Stevenson for you.
He texted me and was like, do you want to do this?
I told him not to do that.
I was like, sure.
I said, I'll trust your expertise, and that's what he did.
I told him to pick up David Montgomery.
He didn't do it.
He's saving David Montgomery for himself.
Yeah.
Yep.
Devin A-Chain's hurt.
Yeah, that sucks.
He's so good.
Is he, or is the offense that's so good?
It's both.
Mostert could do that, and I think Jeff Wilson Jr. can.
Average 12 yards a carry? A-Chain's fast. Very fast. offense that's so good it's both most could do that and i think jeff wilson jr can average 12
yards a carry a chain's fast very fast they're putting claypool they're gonna have claypool's
tight end i think really they might run them out of tight end sets which is pretty cool
yeah he's six four big body their offense is big body all right tj you want to spin the wheel
why'd you just touch me just a little scratch thank you
oh all right dry nothing to worry about yeah have you felt this aloft hitting yet
huh oh yeah felt it yet i'm feeling no it takes some people it takes like a month plus
they said give it a week you've been pretty chill i feel maybe you have maybe you don't
notice but we have oh i, I don't know.
Have your busts been watery?
Uh, what?
Have you had watery busts?
No.
No, I haven't.
I haven't had any.
No busts.
No busts.
No, that's not true.
You did hotel night the other night.
Yeah, but I just started.
Yeah, it was a little.
Oh, okay.
That might have been the day before I started, actually.
Oh, yeah.
Is that the variation?
It's either creamy or watery?
I think it's on the...
Creamy.
I wouldn't...
Creamy.
Thicker thin?
I hate the word...
Thicker thin, yeah.
Yeah.
Mine varies in hue depending on...
I don't know what yet.
Are you experimenting with that?
Sometimes it's a lot more transparent.
Yeah.
That's watery, I think, yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting. Interesting. The hue of your cum sounds like the start to a poem yeah speaking of books are due right this week this week yeah
if you're done just send me it whatever okay all right i have to just get the uh
the climax.
I started my, I'm almost done.
So I'm about halfway done.
Yeah, I'm about a quarter, halfway.
You're a quarter of halfway?
I'm a quarter of halfway,
depending on how long I want to make it.
Yeah.
That makes, yeah.
Could be.
I don't even know if mine is readable.
No.
Mine are just standalone sentences.
Mine are sentences of metaphors. no nick let me read uh his intro
and it was like two paragraphs and there were like 15 jokes that's what mine is and they were
all hitters meanwhile i was over there trying to write like some topical shit for like travis
kelsey and taylor swift for the weekend and i just felt like the biggest piece of shit ever
couldn't get anything yeah you gotta be careful
making uh
pop culture references in your book
no are you talking about for your
stand up I was doing it for stand up
yeah
yeah do you have any pop culture references in your book
I've read it yeah I've read uh
I remember making like a Charlie Sheen winning joke
oh no oh and that's in print yeah very hot at the time damn winning that was insane
that might have been the worst he'll never get AIDS
I think it holds up well no I think I might have made like a Adonis,
like, yeah, I don't know, like Charlie Sheen.
Yeah, I don't know. I remember the time Charlie
Sheen was just like going on every fucking
talk show. Tiger Blood. Talking about Tiger
Blood and Adonis DNA.
I'm going to read your book this week. It's so funny.
By Friday, I'm going to pull together your worst aged
quotes.
And I think I said something about like having Charlie Sheen
Adonis DNA oronis when was it published
or something that was that was like kind of you have charlie sheen's blood
that was the hottest shit in the world oh my you couldn't escape it oh my god people are like
verbalizing hashtag which sucked hashtag winning winning wait when was the last time can we search
twitter let's just find the person who's most recently
hashtag winning and let's just
tell them to stop. Every Yak fan
just tell them to stop.
Quit it.
Why did he rock it up
so fast again? He was just
on a bunch of coke. He was on Truth Nugget.
He was saying yes to every interview so he's
just popping up on like every morning show. Coked out of his mind. He used saying yes to every interview, so he's just popping up on every morning show.
Coked out of his mind.
Okay.
He used too many hashtags.
Yeah, this is too much.
I just want one winning.
Only hashtag winning.
Haley Madison.
Maybe throw Sheen in there, too.
He was active on Twitter, too, I think.
I think he was.
He was fired off.
I just don't remember.
Yeah.
Was that during your run on Twitter, KB?
Was it you and Sheen going back, going head to head?
My run was after Sheen.
He's in like five of my favorite movies.
Hashtag winner.
I don't know what.
What is that?
That looks delicious.
Oh, those are cockles.
That's what Arya Stark was peddling on that bridge.
What is a cockle?
Right?
Oysters, clams, and cockles. Oysters, clams, and cockles.
Oysters, clams, and cockles.
Is that true?
Wait, it was for two, but
nobody else won it anyway.
I'll eat your soup.
That's a sarcastic winning.
That's a crying emoji.
Self-aware.
It looks delicious.
Rugby, whales guy. Oh, he oh he's awesome yeah i like this guy
that's not winning oh everyone's gonna tell him to stop now and he's gonna be sad
yeah let's pile on all right that's okay pussy enjoy your cockles
those those are pieces of bread that were called cockles?
I think cockles are like seafood.
Seafood, really?
My neighbor just traded me a joint for a cigarette.
Hashtag winning.
I don't want to fuck with DK forever, man.
Jeff Nadeau used it this year.
Jeff Nadeau used it when?
How recent?
Like December 2022.
Shout out to the big man.
I think he's going through something with his dad.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I just want to give him that shout out.
Shout out to Jeff Nadeau.
Prayers up to big man.
It is.
I sent him some love, and he responded that Chicago won't be ready for him when he gets here.
He's coming?
He's going to come through visit. I would love love for him i would love for him back to the ship
yeah i don't think he said enough slurs to really get the invite back
oh yeah you just get further down in that chair for me yeah i don know. I'm just slinking. Yeah, you're right. Let me sit up. N-word, N-I-L.
It's a simple progression.
Nicky, Nicky.
I'll be tweeting that later.
What?
I said I'll be tweeting that later.
Yeah, by all means.
Yeah.
All right.
Y'all ready to go?
Yeah.
Where you got to be?
I don't have anywhere to go.
I was just...
Where you going, Papa?
I thought it was...
Where's Papa Bear going?
Where you going?
I got to go buy my wife a birthday present.
What's her birthday today?
Friday.
I'm going to walk and go get a Bears jersey.
I thought you were getting it yesterday.
It was closed.
Closed.
Columbus.
Oh, and it's just people's day.
What are you thinking?
Do you have any strategy right now?
Are you thinking like...
I like DJ Moore.
DJ Moore rocks.
Old school legend, DJ Moore.
Yeah, DJ Moore rocks, unless I can get a Devin Hester.
Or I'd like a Kevin White.
WVU.
That is right.
I will say good colors.
Yeah.
Good jersey colors.
Complimentary colors.
You say like the Broncos suck, but the Bears are good?
No, neither are good.
Oh, you just said what?
DJ Moore is good.
Uniforms, right?
Yeah, it's the uniform style.
Yeah, Bears are really good uniforms.
I like the stripes.
You think Niners are best uniforms?
No.
Oh.
Who do you think is best uniforms?
Niners are beautiful.
I like the Niners a lot.
Yeah, those are awesome.
I'm going to go with...
Hard to beat the Niners, man.
Yeah.
I think the New Jets ones are sharp, but Niners are tough.
Cowboys are not.
Oh, Raiders.
Raiders will always be number one.
I love the Raiders, yeah.
Do you see Iowa State's uniforms?
No.
They look like they were fucking naked.
Really?
Yeah.
TJ, pull that up.
Yeah, they looked like they were pantless.
Trouserless.
I kind of like their color scheme, though.
Yeah, really bad.
Oh, they do look naked.
Yeah, they just look straight up naked.
Like they're in tighty-whities.
Yeah.
Who?
That has to go through so many people,
and I always wonder how that makes it through.
Was that Cody Rhodes?
I think that was a hashtag in there.
Oh, yeah.
So that has returned at WrestleMania?
I was there.
You were in L.A. for that?
If that's his return, that's in Dallas,
but that might have been in L.A.
The SoFi Stadium, he said.
Yeah.
Oh,
that was one of the
main events.
You need to be so
confident.
Is that Cena?
That was Cody Rhodes.
Cody Rhodes.
Does Cena come back
at all or no?
Yeah,
he's back right now.
Yeah,
doing a six-week run,
eight-week run.
It's going pretty well.
Should be towards the end,
huh?
Because of the
writer's strike,
right?
Yeah.
Making a little money
on the side.
How do you know
it's coming to an end?
It's like advertised. They announced it was like an like eight week run and we're close to i hate that i would love to sit in on a wwe writer's room oh it'd be amazing yes that would be so interesting brandon would you
leave you this job to do that yes not like uh you're completely off camera i'd leave it right
now just to write not to be on camera.
I would stand up.
I'd shake Kyle's hand.
I'd give Mook a fist bump.
Shit.
I'd step over Titus.
I'd step past Kate.
I'd hug Nick.
Hug me.
You would also be making the biggest mistake of your life.
I knew a guy in LA who did it.
Was he miserable?
He was like, it's the fucking worst job ever.
I don't know.
I think even if it sucked, you'd be in your glory because you're doing it.
Yeah, that's true.
Make like 48 grand a year.
What?
I don't know if it's true.
Feel that.
I'm just kidding.
You'd run into issues.
You can't live on that.
You can't tell people that you are responsible for stuff, though.
Like if there was like a big.
That's true.
You'd be like, yeah, I did that.
Also.
And you'd be in trouble for breaking NDA Also, would not be able to keep secrets.
Right, right.
I would text you like, dude, this Sunday.
You know who's coming back.
Roman Reigns is turning on somebody.
You'd literally be like tee-hee-ing when you were like coming home from work.
Tee-hee.
It'd be my job to write how many times he cocks his wrist.
How many times he cocks.
So write WWE for me right now.
What's Monday Night Raw coming up next Monday?
I don't know.
I've been paying that close attention to WWE.
How are you going to get the job if you're not paying attention?
Tonight's big.
Tonight's huge, yeah.
They're all showing up on NXT.
Cody Rhodes has a big announcement.
Yeah, to fuck over Edge.
So write it.
Write the show for me.
They're going commercial free.
Undertaker's showing up on NXT tonight.
They're going commercial free and AEW's going commercial free.
They're all throwing the
and Tony Khan's calling them assholes.
It's... They might be reviving
the Undertaker's character and passing it on
to Von Wagner
tonight. Whoa. He got killed by
Braun Breaker on TV like three weeks ago.
And ever since then they've been making Undertaker references.
They might be bringing some sort of
Undertaker sub-character back. Well, that would be
Thrawn, Vaughn, Wagner. That might
be one of the worst things ever. That's not good.
Yeah. That's why they need you, Brandon.
Be the writer. Well, no, he's just telling you what they've
been doing. Yeah. Not telling
you what they should do. I'm just reading dirt sheets.
Do they write, like, romance
into these? Oh, I'm telling you.
This is a soap opera. The horny guys
like, I need Cena to fuck The Rock right now.
Yeah, Edge fucked Lita in the ring.
Yeah, Edge fucked Lita right in the middle of the ring.
He got head in the middle of the ring.
He copped dome in the ring?
Edge is my favorite, yeah.
After he stole Lita in real life.
Yeah.
That's kind of sick.
It's so sick.
I started doing it to make fun of Brandon.
I love it.
Like Kiss?
Well, this was a long time ago.
This was back in 2004, 2005.
No, AEW's back into it.
They're doing titty slaps now.
That one AEW wrestler, she's like, I want to slap your titty.
And she slapped their titty.
Titty slap.
Yeah.
The girl's like, my titty.
Oh, fuck. my fucking tit just a bunch of middle-aged
white dudes like yeah we're gonna throw a titty slap it that's what brandon that's what brandon's
t he and uh kind of on the young rock is the lowest production show i've ever seen with the
most blatant product placement ever
they canceled it didn't they did they yeah this is a wrestling centric show or what yeah it's
about young rock oh it's like young sheldon yeah but young rock and it's like i saw a clip from
the undertaker walking into uh yeah the locker room and it just had like capital one on the door
and then he's just talking to a guy he's's like an old high school buddy. He's like, yeah, I work at State Farm now.
It's the best.
It's really bad.
They bounce around timeline-wise, right?
Yeah.
Like, it'll be, like, 12 one week, and then it'll be 28 the next week.
Yeah, it should just be called Younger Rock, because sometimes he's old.
Yeah.
But not as old as he is in the present.
No, he's...
Is WWE Network still... He was born May 3rd, 1972,
so he's 51 now?
WWE Network's dead?
It's on Peacock.
It's just Peacock, not Peacock?
There's no WWE Network.
The Rock is 51?
I think so.
I believe he was born May 3rd, 1972.
He looks older than that.
Yeah.
Is he going to age well?
No.
He's not.
He'll be president one day, though. The Rock? Yeah. Because of the steroids? Yeah. Is he going to age well? No. He's not. He'll be president one day though. The Rock?
Yeah. Because of the steroids? Yeah. Oh yeah.
Invincible man, he's aged
Arnold hasn't aged great, has he?
I haven't seen Arnold in a while.
Aren't the pictures
of Arnold shirtless?
When's the last time we saw Arnold?
Is he still doing politics now? What has he done
in the past five years?
He impregnated his maid.
That's right.
His ugly maid.
Who?
When was that?
The ugly maid.
Yeah, it was an ugly maid.
It was a bad looking maid.
Poor maid.
I thought there was like a picture not too long ago of Arnold with his shirt off somewhere
and he just looked sloppy.
Yeah, it's hard.
He's probably in his 80s.
Furry Wrestling Federation.
There's furry wrestling? Back around. That's got to be awesome. He's probably in his 80s. Furry Wrestling Federation. There's furry wrestling?
Not to circle it back around.
That would be awesome.
That's just Pokemon.
Then have to maintain it forever?
Yeah.
That's got to suck.
That's got to fucking suck.
That's why I don't do it.
No, I just looked it up.
Well, we don't do that.
Oh, dudes didn't get that jacked until...
It's an amazing event.
Pretty recently, right?
Yeah.
I mean, when was that?
Like that jacked, yeah.
Yeah.
So we don't really have a lot of data on... When did they start getting that jacked yeah yeah why we don't really have like a lot of data on when
did they start getting that jack like the 70s probably later yeah like maybe not well arnold
was like the late 70s early 80s right talking about like the widespread like people bodybuilder
physique it's not masculine we don't have a lot of data points of how this ages is what i'm saying
yeah you're right we're starting to get that is true we're now starting a lot of data points of how this ages is what I'm saying. Yeah, you're right. We're starting to get those data points.
Steve Mihalik shot himself.
Oh, and how being super ripped affects you when you get old.
Yeah.
Uh-oh, Kyle.
Isn't it RFK, that guy running for office?
He's like super ripped and he's old as hell.
Who?
Running as an independent now.
One of the Kennedys.
Yeah, RFK.
Bad voice.
Your voice can't be good.
You can't have a bad voice running for president
i'd argue that trump has a bad voice nah this is a worse voice i think you guys watched the
clip but his speech when he went off the cuff i don't know if you guys saw this or not i saw
him talking about the new england patriots dude he is just he's the best stand-up of all time
yeah he's insane that's who Matt Rife thinks he is.
And Donald Trump thinks he's black.
Oh, man.
Let that hang.
Let it linger.
Let it linger.
Breathe it in.
Let the joke breathe.
That's what makes it good.
What else, boys?
Anything?
Kate, boys, I included you as well because you're like 40% boy.
How is being pregnant going this time?
It's got to be awful.
Better or worse than the first time?
I went to an ultrasound yesterday and they said I still have like several weeks to go.
They said he's measuring at like 41 weeks and he's over the 99th percentile for size.
I don't want to blow out my holes.
Oh.
Yeah.
I just really don't.
He's kicking out like a door of a saloon.
Yeah.
He's just going to eat, eat, eat.
Yeah.
Yuck.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
That is a concern, right? You can rip can rip yeah i did last time oh third degree
and i don't want to do it again and so the doctor was like get pat to take some oil and get down
there there's a pamphlet some oil yes and your partner is supposed to get down there and like
stretch you out every night, but not too much.
Did your mom ever oil your tank?
Too much.
Thank you, Kate.
But I don't want to ask him to do it because I feel like...
Is there anything...
That's a lot of...
You haven't asked him yet?
He's probably good at it.
Have you mentioned it to him?
Yes.
But you never asked him, like, hey, can you do it today?
He says he'll get there.
He's like, I'll do it.
Yeah, he keeps putting days like yeah he keeps
putting it off like he's doing the dishes terry mcclure and hates doing that too i hate stretching
taint yeah i just had a long day at work i'm not stretching your taint i'll let it soak in the sink
it's a thing they sell sell these little tools to pregnant ladies
so that you can do it yourself because you can't reach.
But they tell your guy just to pass it.
What's the number one pro of being pregnant?
Is there ever a moment where you're like,
this is cool, thank God I am pregnant?
Nikki smokes rubbing her belly probably.
Creating life is awesome.
Is there anything good about it?
Is there one thing?
Right.
Yeah.
Some people have like easy pregnancies and they're like, it's fine.
It's simple.
That's not me.
I'm not enjoying it.
I don't enjoy it.
Guilt-free eating or something?
That's fun.
I had Pat bring, yeah.
Do you have a craving that you've been harping on?
Reese's Puffs.
Like I cannot get enough.
I'm eating like three boxes.
That's normal, baby.
That's everybody.
Oh, fuck, I'm pregnant.
I'm eating so much cereal.
I'm like going through five boxes of cereal a week, probably.
At least.
I eat at breakfast, lunch, dinner.
I eat it 24-7.
I can't get enough.
As a snack, a nice snack bowl.
Yeah, I cannot stop eating it.
Milk and cereal or dry?
Milk and cereal.
That's the dream.
I don't know.
I hear that.
But it's rolling along.
Thanks for asking.
Are you anywhere in the name process?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We know the name.
You know the name.
Yeah.
We know the name.
Guess name wheels on the window.
I know.
Name wheels.
From, how common is it not common come on
do you know anyone personally with this name no i know someone
kind of famous who's no longer here tavaris jackson Travara's In the show Travara's Cassidy
That's it
Yeah I've never met another
You know a famous dead person
Who figured it out I think
Sean Taylor
Sean Taylor 21
I like Leverage a lot
Yeah Leverage is good
So many of these are just wrestler names
like Buckshot Cassidy
is yeah
force
sweat Cassidy
tendon
so it's up there
is it on this list
it's on the list
oh no
oh no no way oh no kate
buck is not that crazy of a name i'll just say it's a cool nickname it's on here buckshot
but no no it ain't buckshot it is it's buckshot It is. Is Buck shot? No. Buck Cassidy?
No.
Oh, my God.
No.
But maybe Buck.
Buck Cassidy.
No, it's Backshot.
Backshot. Yeah, it's too close to Backshot.
Oh, we wouldn't be in this situation if...
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
It was laid out.
Was he talking...
Pat was talking with Mook before this happened, right?
It wasn't...
You give him pointers?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, this new move i discovered you got
it too the cp i don't have to what you can just leave it in brother oh shit anyway some uh some
guy dug up my some somebody just tweeted at me my uh adonis dna reference oh yeah i just said i
made it i said that i uh in the book i said uh basically
i i did a bunch of i was on all sorts of illicit drugs during my career ranging from anabolic
steroids to charlie sheen and dana's dna do you have any hashtags in the book no hashtag ah
what year did it come out uh 2012 but i wrote it like during the summer of 2011, which is why that was on the mind.
I might need to add a hashtag to my book then.
Yeah, you should.
You should.
That's actually, I think if you're going to do it,
leaning into it would be actually kind of funny,
like ironically funny.
If you just made like a ton of very niche references
that anyone reading the book that day would understand.
This book is only good for a dad.
Do you have any Chuck Norris jokes in your book?
No, I do not.
That would be awesome.
Just a book
that everyone's like, yeah, I do remember
that. This was written in
October. That's right. That was the
black or the white llama.
Oh my God.
Did you see what somebody did to your Wikipedia page?
Somebody?
It was fucking this guy.
Who else would have done it?
He knows how to do that?
Who else would have done it?
No way Brandon knows how to edit a Wikipedia page.
No chance I know how to edit a Wikipedia page.
Anybody that watches this show, they love editing Wikipedia.
But they did it.
It's pro-Brandon. That's why it's so that's what's weird that is stunning it was shocking
that i don't know that was like a option is born and raised uh to brandon walker his father's
successful college well i mean that right there successful college football analyst and podcaster
in barstool sports brandon walker created a new podcast to feature his son with barstool sports
titled mostly sports and brandon walker who else who else would write that i don't know i didn't during Barstool Sports. Brandon Walker created a new podcast to feature his son with Barstool Sports titled Mostly Sports with Brandon Walker.
Who else would write that?
I don't know.
I didn't know there was anybody out there that would write that.
Although I do like that person.
I do like that that's in there because that actually adds some more spice
to my personal life other than just he's a depressed son of a bitch.
Wait, yeah.
So wait, your only personal life was your depression?
That's all you got. That's all you got.
That's all you got outside of work for the life.
Before Brandon came along.
He was really sad.
Which one's worse?
Yeah, this dude's sad.
Being depressed or having Brandon be your father?
I think it goes hand in hand.
Damn.
Had suicidal thoughts. Personal life. That's it. Guy. Had suicidal thoughts.
Personal life.
That's it.
That's all there was.
We know nothing else about him, but he once-
He once settled on AMA.
He once wanted to cease to exist.
All right, good to know.
That's kind of the main common thread at Barstool.
Yeah, we just share our personal life.
Well, that's not the main one.
No.
What's the main one? White. Whiteness. Oh, wow, wow. Yeah, we just share our personal life. Well, that's not the main one. No. What's the main one?
White.
Whiteness.
Oh, wow, wow.
Yeah, that too.
There are a lot of white people over here.
A lot of them.
I don't see color.
Super white.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Never thought about it.
Yeah.
Look how white TJ is.
TJ.
Who's the whitest person?
Clemmer is super white.
Clemmer is super white.
No.
We were talking in the car
Yeah
About
Clemmer I think is almost like
Nah nevermind
Nevermind
Forget I said that
Wait
We were assigning races
To our co-workers
If they weren't white
Yeah
Yeah
We were assigning alternate races
We think Clemmer is like Hispanic
Okay
Brandon's black
Mintz is a black woman.
I can just see him
standing at the freezer.
Glennie's a horny
Indian man. Glennie's Indian.
I'm Korean.
Of course.
Kyle is
Japanese because he's a little bit more disciplined
than I am. Filipino.
Oh yeah, you're Filipino?
Yeah.
So yeah, but we couldn't
double vodka Don's Dominican.
That one is the most odd. That's spot on.
Spot on.
Yeah.
Yeah, so we were just applying secondary races
to people. out why not
should we have said that no i think we should keep going
it'd be a good blog if my co-workers weren't white what would they
i feel like francis is the whitest Yeah
Yeah Francis is
Yeah
Alright
Alright well we can come back tomorrow
And finish the whiteness conversation
And sass tomorrow
So watch please
That's the act Yeah it's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankee Swap
It's the act
It's the act
It's the act Corn mazes keep canceling on us.
If you know where there is a Corn Mesa we could film at, please hit me up.
All right, see you tomorrow. Bye.