The Yak - Nick Devises a New Game for Fun Friday | The Yak 2-16-24
Episode Date: February 16, 2024Compass...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
All right, Yak.
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All right, what's up, boys? The normal Friday crew of me, Gia, Kyle, Mook, Titus,
and deathmatch wrestler Oren Veidt. Yeah, the big six. Deathmatch wrestler. Deathmatch Wrestler Oren Veidt
Deathmatch Wrestler
The big six guys
Deathmatch Wrestler Oren Veidt
What does that mean Deathmatch?
You know like glass, light tubes, barbed wire, fire
Razor blades, knives
Whatever you think
Wait actually?
No he's insane
He has a match here in Chicago
And he's a big fan of the Yak and mostly.
So we said, come on in.
Hell yeah.
Just come enjoy yourself.
Thanks for having me, fellas.
What are you doing in town?
Visiting my bestie, Madeline.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't even know that.
Yeah.
It's also President's Weekend.
That they were besties, that Madeline exists.
Yeah, that seems pretty fair.
I know, it really kind of shocked him.
Now, which one is Madeline?
Oh my God, you know who Madeline is.
Is she one of the dudes?
The dudes?
Is she one of the dudes?
She's a woman.
She's a woman, okay.
Well, that's why we haven't talked then.
That dude Madeline.
My boy.
In sales, yeah.
I like the way you're sitting. I'm kind thanks crisscross applesauce these seats are a little you don't like low to the ground they are
low yeah yeah so i kind of like the nice heat up do you think anywhere anywhere is holding out uh
the old uh nomenclature for that sitting position? I was thinking the exact same thing. At what point did we switch it?
Yeah.
Oh.
It was a pretty successful switch.
I think they decided to do it, and it got done.
There was no real stragglers.
No.
Yeah, no one put up a fight.
No.
I mean, it just sounds so much better.
Okay, well, when I was growing up, it was certainly not crisscross applesauce.
What about when you were growing up?
Oh. What was it called? It was certainly not crisscross applesauce. What about when you were growing up? Oh.
What was it called?
It was called Indian sitting.
Oh.
Or sitting Indian style.
I don't think.
Oh, yeah, Indian style.
Yeah.
Which I don't know.
Is that rude?
I don't even know if it's accurate.
Did Native Americans sit like that?
Or Indian?
No, it was Native Americans.
Oh, that.
Oh.
Oh.
I think that might have also been part of it.
Right. Yeah. Oh, it's goofy. So. I think that might have also been part of it. Right.
Yeah.
Oh, it's goofy.
So, Titus, you're a year younger than me.
Right.
Was it still crisscross applesauce?
It was not.
It was never crisscross.
We never crissed.
We never crossed.
And I'll tell you one thing, Brandon.
We never applesauced.
Shit.
We, especially in Indiana, I think they're still doing it in that manner.
That's not surprising. I could call home
Mississippi because there's a good chance
that it never just quite made the switch.
You know what didn't make as successful
as a switch? What's that? The O
word.
As an adjective.
What's the O word? For
Eastern people.
Oh.
People will still let it fly
unknowingly.
Lady Gaga says it
in her song, Born This Way.
So the word is oriental?
Yeah.
Which is fine when describing a thing.
On today's episode of The Act, we say slurs.
I'm glad I joined this episode.
No, no, no. Hold on.
I just said it as a standalone word.
I didn't say, I didn't apply to it to anything.
I know, but I'm just saying we're heading down a very dangerous path.
We should have Che think of one and then we take a guess as to what we're saying.
Oh, yes.
I'm here for that.
You can still say it in regard to a salad, correct?
Absolutely.
A rug?
Yeah.
A rug, sure, sure.
Oh, yeah, rug.
Right.
Salad.
Oriental salad? Right? Yeah, oriental chicken Sure, sure. Oh, yeah, rug. Right. Salad. Oriental salad?
Right?
Yeah, oriental chicken salad.
Yeah.
Oh.
That seems fine.
I've just never heard of that.
My pop-pop lets it rip.
Does he?
Yeah, he served, so he, you know.
Okay.
Yeah.
My, I thought that was your pop-pop.
You're always my pop-pop.
You guys, you're from Minnesota.
Yep.
We already talked about apple valley national
powerhouse and wrestling home to six-time state champion mark hall as well as olympic champion
gable stevenson nailed it yep did you have uh there's a lot of scandinavian people oh yeah
did you guys have terms for them maybe not necessarily racist not necessarily or maybe
no i don't i think because we just assumed that we were all Scandinavian.
Are you Scandinavian?
I have no idea.
I'm adopted and then abandoned.
So I have no idea what my.
Wait, which happened first?
Maybe abandoned twice, technically.
Yeah.
No, but I think we were all just like we had like Lutefisk and like everything.
The rapper?
Yeah, that guy.
Yeah.
Like for holidays and stuff.
So I don't think there ever was a.
So it was more like we're all pretty Scandinavian.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't.
I just remember wrestlers with just the blondest of hair and the whitest of skin.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
That's exactly the look.
It's just there's a specific type.
You're like, oh, yeah.
In Minnesota, there's a lot of Scandinavians. Ohandinavian oh yeah yeah rose from the golden girls was very massive
like scandinavian somalian yes that is the other that is the other like the the major cities have
a lot of somali um population yeah yeah it's it's there's no in between i think it's one of the most underrated
states the upper midwest has a lot of uh diversity you're northern european right
it sounds like it yeah it's northern european because i know minnesota is is is a lot of
scandinavians yep and i do know that from golden Girls because Rose would tell stories of her hometown. And it was all people with long last names.
Yes.
Well, and last night there was an episode on the hotel of King of the Hill where the pastor was from Minnesota.
And she was all about Scandinavia and lewfisk and all that stuff.
And I was like, that's weird.
I guess that that is our thing.
I thought we were nice.
I thought it was Minnesota nice.
Everybody claims to be nice.
But that's not true.
Minnesota is mean.
I think all Midwesterners are very nice.
Well, moving here from Jersey, it is pretty stark.
Yeah, it is.
Night and day.
It's night and day of how nice people are out here and how nice people are.
Unbelievable, yeah.
Not that the people in Jersey were necessarily all assholes,
but there is not an undercurrent of just niceness that there is out here.
We were just talking about it, but Uber drivers in the Midwest, they will always talk to you, chat, small talk, whatever.
Ubers in New York City, not a word is said.
But I don't think they over-talk to you out here.
I think they have the right amount of friendly talk out here.
I don't know.
Sometimes.
I don't like talking in Uber. Even yeah even like how are you like how was your
day i'm like all right that's enough vegas last week those guys were ready to talk those guys
were ready to to kick it about wherever you're from but they they're also in a city where everybody
they get in has a different story i had an uber driver the other day we were five minutes into
the ride and he
goes wait you're connor right oh oh i was like yeah yeah i've been in your car for a mile now
that he confirms the ride i'm going to the right place yeah oh i thought you meant that he
recognized you no for sure for sure um so nick uh nick will be along shortly he's finishing up a
taping of something oh and then he should be joining us shortly so nick is nick will be along shortly he's finishing up a taping of something
oh and then he should be joining us shortly so nick is on the show today he's just not here yet
um and then uh yeah we are doing a show monday monday is president's day we will do we will be
doing a yak on monday so business as usual as far as that goes yeah that's a holiday we're not taking off are you uh g are you taking off no okay yeah i'm like scared to say that i'm gonna i'm not gonna be in the office i mean i'm
gonna be traveling back home like back from here back to new york oh travel day yeah yeah travel
day is count as work yeah yeah but are people taking attendance in new york is it like a it's it's
i don't want to say the wrong thing but like i feel like it's like the eyeballs are definitely
on people are counting people are like yeah keeping count i feel like who is like multiple
people are doing i don't know maybe just in their own heads but there's definitely like
paranoia to you?
I think people.
I'm not paranoid.
But I feel like.
You sound perfectly numb.
Yeah.
I'm not paranoid at all.
I'm fine about it.
No.
It feels like after the whole thing.
It feels like everyone is like, okay, we have to be in the office at all times now.
But I don't want to get into that whole shtick again.
Please, for the love of God.
I don't mean to go to the prep sheet early,
and it's something that I'm not going to draw very much attention to.
We'll do this one thing and get off of it,
but Jay, who is not here today, gives us a prep sheet,
and he has one thing or other that is just fascinating to me
that either came to his mind or he thought it so important he had to put it on here.
Other is there's kind of an outline.
The overarching question is what is your favorite type of chocolate,
and that's fine.
Bullet point number three is somehow Che takes umbrage to this or something.
I don't know.
Zah claims to have an addiction to white chocolate.
He almost writes it like it's scandalous, Zah,
and I don't really understand. Do you have an addiction to white chocolate he almost writes it like it's scandalous and i don't really understand
do you have do you do you have an addiction to white chocolate i i i don't know why that's on
there but uh is this about the confection or is this about women what i was saying that as well
we had both conversations yesterday during the show so i don't know what he put down
on there you had both conversations being women and and the actual food is that a term for women oh yeah no no
the viral men though the viral one right now there's like tweets going out and they're
going insane it's like milk men where you at and they're targeted at za for sure
milkman being i don't Zaha is a milkman.
What does that mean?
Can I take a guess?
I don't know.
Is that black men who like white women?
I think it's just anyone that likes white women.
I could be a milkman.
You're a milkman.
I thought that was titties.
Some of them like titties, no?
Oh, is it?
I'm guessing.
I wouldn't accuse you of that, Zaha.
Good man, KB.
Good man.
You know it.
I'm a booty guy.
I say you're versatile with your taste.
So you, milkman, a black man who prefers dating white women.
Oh, okay.
Oh, he's right.
Okay.
I had my milkman stage.
Oh, these are phases.
Good creamy milk.
So white chocolate is used for what?
In what way?
As far as food goes.
The crafty point guard?
Yeah.
The basketball player.
I've never heard it yet.
Jason Williams, who's very country.
Isn't that a line in a movie, like white chocolate?
I'm thinking.
That's just two words.
I'm sure that's two word for word phrase you'll have to forgive me
that that does not
jog the memory
of white chocolate
I don't know why
in what ways
is that
maybe I'm thinking
of white chicks
for some reason
I'm thinking like
Terry Crews said it
I don't know why
Terry Crews
might have said
white chocolate
at some point
I don't know
a totally fine
white male
that attracts women and men of all colors, usually physically
fit and extremely appealing without knowing it, shy and reserved around strangers.
If you're lucky enough to get a piece of white chocolate, he melts in your mouth and leaves
a little leftover on your mouth.
Oh, come on, bro.
What am I reading?
All right.
Shock.
What the hell?
What website is this?
It's Urban Dictionary.
That's Urban Dictionary?
Just tell us all about it.
It's user-submitted.
Anyone can submit anything.
Mark, thank you for putting me on to the cold-ass white boys in NCAA basketball.
Oh, yeah.
And I even did research on each to see how cold they were on and off the court.
And my coldest is Tyler Kolak.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. From Marquette. That's a good one. Why, and my coldest is Tyler Kolek. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
From Marquette.
That's a good one.
Why is he your coldest?
I've seen his highlights.
I loved his post-game presser where he referred to St. John's as
barbecue chicken.
Barbecue chicken, yeah.
Oh.
Talks out of the side of his mouth a lot, which is a big –
And good Instagram game.
Cold-ass white boy.
Can we see a picture of him please um what's
his name tyler kolick yeah marquette marquette that far away from here oh hell yeah i think he's
cold big time shit talker yeah that's so he called him barbecue chicken which means that that's an
urban dictionary term for a team who's like someone's guarding you and they're too slow to keep up.
Yeah, you're just going to cook them.
You're cooking.
Oh, I like that.
What is a jelly fam, Titus?
I don't know.
That's fully a basketball term.
It's a group of New York high school basketball players.
Jelly Walker was one of them.
There's a few of them.
Is that your cousin?
Oh, really?
There might be one in the NBA
But they like grew up
They patented like this jelly move
Good to see you
And
What up dorks?
Thank you
Hey Nick
Hey Nick
What's going on?
Zaya loves white chocolate
Yes that's what we've confirmed
Good episode today
Yeah
Really good start
Hot start
You guys want to get drunk?
Yes.
Is that what you prepared?
Oh, do we have a...
Did you prepare anything?
I have a game.
Okay.
I did.
Yes.
Where were you?
Dogwalk Draft.
Ooh, fun.
Don't have to check in with you.
Jesus.
I was just asking.
Hitchens, you in booth?
Yeah.
What up?
We were going to play a game with Infinite Craft.
Oh, yeah.
What?
Oh, fuck yeah.
What does that mean?
It's this new game.
It's an AI game called Infinite Craft.
If you could pull it up.
And we're going to pair off into twos.
A bunch of familiar faces in here.
What's up, dude?
It's going to be me and you.
Dinette, as always oh yeah yeah infinite craft it maybe do
an incognito window just so it doesn't save them i know you i know you're quick to go incognito
you sick fuck
uh but it's uh really cool it's super cool cool. You start with four elements, water, fire, wind, earth.
Yep.
And then you can drag them out there and combine them.
So let's just do water and fire.
Okay.
And that makes steam.
And now steam's on your list.
And then you can combine steam and wind.
I don't fucking know.
Cloud.
Oh.
And now you unlock cloud.
Now combine cloud and earth.
I don't fucking know.
Rain. Combine earth and earth. I don't fucking know. Rain.
Combine earth and earth.
You can combine the same thing as well.
So what do you think that would be?
Mountain.
What?
I don't know.
It's AI based.
So what we're going to do is each team will get three minutes to combine things and make
the weirdest, most obscure thing possible.
And then we will do 20 questions for the other two teams to guess
losing team has to finish their high noon.
To guess what?
What we got at the end.
Love it.
Love.
It'll make sense.
Okay.
Aren't we watching you do what you do?
No.
Can we watch a speed run real quick so people understand what's happening?
Thank you, Moop.
Sure, let's make something really quick all together.
Okay. So combine mountain and mountain.
I bet that's mountain range.
Wow, okay.
Mountain and rain.
Waterfall.
Fire and waterfall.
Fire and waterfall?
Steam again?
Back to steam.
Put more water on the steam.
See what happens
combine cloud and cloud
rain
combine wind and rain
tornado
but you can go far enough to get into
absurd concepts
9-11
I don't know how you
there are people trying to get every Pokemon.
But we don't have to.
You can get into things and different people.
You can get to eras, dates.
You can make Goku.
Yeah.
Wow.
Peter Griffin.
Peter Griffin.
Also...
Peter Griffin, yeah.
We're going to do that thing, and we're going to do it, and it's going to be awesome.
Also, Orin is going to break a light tube over Tides' head.
That's happening today?
Did we spin a wheel for that?
I thought we were doing that. Wait, wait for that? I thought we were doing that.
Wait, wait, wait.
I thought we were doing that.
You're doing a hardcore match tonight, are you not?
Yeah, death match.
Death match.
I'm sorry.
I thought that was part of the Yack Yard wrestling.
Oh, he's going to.
Okay, that's fine.
We can do it then.
You're breaking a glass bottle over your head?
No, a light tube.
You know, like the lights that.
A fluorescent light.
You're going to break that on your head.
The innards are.
It sounds like Titus' head. Titus what? You have to you have to like oh my god yeah that's him yeah you're at
reggie's tonight no i thought that was gonna be a surprise that was gonna be a big spot and
wrestling i apologize oran was gonna grab a light tube and crack it over my head and everyone was
gonna lose their fucking mind i misread that i thought you were saying do it on the show today
i thought we'll find something else to do yeah you spoiled it maybe he'll staple your head or
something maybe right remember that's a one out of ten he'll do something else to do. You spoiled it. Maybe he'll staple your head or something.
Remember, that's a one out of ten.
He'll do something fun for you.
What?
You put a staple in your head?
Yeah.
He says it doesn't hurt.
You saw the clip.
That's easy.
That's easy?
That's easy.
Jumping into the fire?
This is scary. Is that glass, too?
Yeah, that was a pane of glass that was on fire.
Yeah.
And all that really happened there was that guy's ass caught on fire.
Yeah, yeah.
Because he had a bandana, like a fool.
That's so stupid.
Oh, his bandana caught on fire.
Yeah, yeah.
Rookie mistake.
You can't leave a bandana in your back pocket.
All right, so we're going to do a full run together right now?
Yeah, let's get a case of high noons.
Everybody has one.
We'll break off into twos.
Well, I don't think everybody has to drink one.
Some can't.
Right.
Some can't.
No, you can't off a choice.
Brandon can't because he's not allowed.
You're not allowed to drink?
Well, it's complicated.
No, it ain't. It's not complicated at all? Well, it's complicated. Oh.
No, it ain't.
It's not complicated at all.
I can't drink that particular product.
Oh.
Yeah, because of the thing.
Yeah.
KB, what's up, dude?
What's up?
Good to see you.
Good to see you, as always.
You going to Julio's tonight?
I think so.
You going?
Yeah.
Support the guy.
I'd love to go.
I just, Friday nights are rough.
What do you got to do?
I got to go to Reggie's.
Are you going to Reggie's?
I can't go to that either.
I don't know why I said it.
I got to, you know, I got to go home.
It's my one night to watch movies and stuff.
Yeah, I would love to go as well, but I'm going to just do anything else.
Sounds like you're saying.
That sounds like what you're saying.
If you go to Reggie's, you can stay at mine.
I'll be busy.
Sleep over with Brando?
Oh, he's done it before.
Wait, that's so cute. Yeah, and he'll stand there and watch you as you sleep.
From above?
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, like a guardian angel.
Oh, I saw a picture on Twitter.
Much like a guardian angel.
Yeah, his guest room has no ceiling.
What?
Right?
That's right.
Yeah.
Do you have a loft?
Mm-mm.
I am confused.
I don't know what's not to get.
I live in like a Sims house.
It doesn't have a ceiling.
I don't know what the problem is.
Yeah, the pool doesn't have a ladder.
Yeah, right.
When I have guests, I'll delete the shower as they're in there
and see their naked body.
I'll type Rosebud.
Yeah, infinite money.
All right, so let's fire this thing up.
Why don't you sound excited?
I am excited.
Why don't you take charge here?
Okay, let's start from...
I don't think the speed run really taught me anything.
Yeah, I agree.
So what I think was we were compound taught me anything yeah i agree so what i
think was we were we were compounding things on one thing so i think we need to make like multiple
you want to do a little chart multiple nests okay yeah okay so let's start with uh earlier you
started with water and wind i think let's start with fire and earth oh volcano let us see. Lava. Lava. Okay. Now let's do another one that is water.
And TJ, you could double click to duplicate things out there, I believe.
Water and lava.
Water and lava.
That's got to be steam, right?
Is that back to steam?
I don't know.
Let's try.
Everything.
Stone.
That makes sense.
Okay.
All right.
So I've got stone.
Now on the water there, add earth to water.
Okay.
Creek.
Okay.
Now, I've got a plant, so I've got stone and plant.
I'm going to add fire to the stone and have a delicious pizza.
Coal?
Back to lava.
Lava again.
Damn.
Well, add...
Combine plant and plant.
Plant and plant.
Forest? Tree. I bet you tree and tree is forest. It better be. There it is. Well, add Mine, plant and plant Plant and plant Tree
I bet you tree and tree is forest
There it is
What if I do forest and forest?
I don't know
Jungle
Rainforest
Jungle
Amazon
Now we're getting proper
Let's say rainforest or jungle for a while Tarzan Jungle. Amazon. Brian? Now we're getting proper.
All right.
Let's say it reinforced a jungle for a while.
Tarzan.
Okay.
Okay.
Interesting.
Now I see.
Wait, Tarzan?
Add Tarzan to lava.
I wanted to see Tarzan in fire.
Monkey.
All right.
Play with monkey.
Volcano.
Play with monkey.
All right.
Let's add monkey. Maybe monkey and monkey.
Is that gorilla?
You want to do monkey?
It's got to be donkey.
Definitely gorilla.
Ape.
Do ape and lava. Ape. Is that gorilla? You want to be monkey? It's got to be Donkey Kong. Definitely gorilla. Ape. Do ape and lava.
Ape and lava is gorilla?
Oh, so we got lava.
No, it's gorilla.
Gorilla, gorilla.
What do we got there?
God, who knows?
What about gorilla and jungle?
All right, let's hold our-
Gorilla and water would be gorilla monsoon.
Correct.
You think?
Ape. Oh, we would be wrong. What about gorilla and stone? be gorilla monsoon correct you think back to oh we would be wrong what about gorilla and stone let's give him king kong all right all right give gorilla stone
king kong and tarzan oh stone king kong grow back to gorilla statue makes sense
king kong statue empire state oh here we go we We're getting close. All right, TJ, take the wheel.
Mount Doom?
No, hell yeah.
Mount Doom?
Do Mount Doom and...
I don't know, fucking gorilla.
King Kong?
Of course, yes.
What we'll do is each team will have three minutes to make something obscure.
Can we watch them make it or no?
No, because then we would just...
So we have to walk out?
That's the thing.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
So we're going to have two people at once for three minutes.
And then the other two teams come in and race to figure out what it is
by alternating 20 questions.
Losing team finishes their high noon.
Done.
Okay.
Wheel for teams, or do you all want to draft?
Let's draft.
Oh, you all want to – okay.
Nick, you got first pick.
Give me Mook. Love it. draft let's draft oh y'all want to okay uh nick you got first pick give me mook love it g a second pick um i'll take kb i've never been picked first in anything i know man that was sweet um we don't we have an odd number oh i'll sit out titus has to i feel
like dog shit anyway do you feel
I feel pre-sick
you seem a little
I'm pre-sick
I'm pre-sick
you're both pre-sick
yeah
in my lungs
in my ears
and in my throat
is that where you feel it
yeah
all those
all those areas
yeah
lungs ears and throat
I'm gonna have a bad weekend
I think
me too
yeah
it's not gonna be fun
damn I'm sorry
yeah tomorrow's gonna be not fun
is it still recovering
from Monday probably and I will say it's funny going to be fun. Damn, I'm sorry. Yeah, tomorrow's going to be not fun. Is it still recovering from Monday?
Probably.
And I will say, it's funny, no one's patted me on the back about the free throw thing today.
And I was wondering if, like, did I do something?
I mean, that was Tuesday morning.
Yeah, but, you know.
I know, but, like, I just, I kind of felt like that.
I feel like you guys have taken enough victory laps already.
I think it's a few more days.
When Leo puts out a great movie, he gets to go on the talk shows, get applauded.
Right.
You know, awards season coming up.
You talk about that nonstop.
Right.
You do that, and it's just like, what's next?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Day to day, it's a goldfish memory.
It'll drive you to kill yourself.
All right.
I miss her every day.
So, me, Oren, with Titus as a backup.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll be a three-man team. We're going to be a three. We're going to be the new day. All right. I miss her every day. So me, Oren, with Titus as a backup. Yeah. Okay.
We'll be a three-man team.
We're going to be a three.
We're going to be the new day.
All right.
Where's the worst place you've ever had a thumbtack?
Yeah.
Tip of your P?
Yeah.
Well, my sack.
Your sack?
You got a tack?
You got tacked on the sack?
Yeah, that was the Japan thumbtacks.
Was it?
Japan thumbtacks? They're longer, apparently.
They're worse.
That does face. The Japan thumbtacks. Was it Japan thumbtacks? They're longer, apparently. They're worse. I don't know if it's true or not, but from my experience, way worse.
Yeah.
I just need to know why.
So that wasn't intentional.
That was like.
Oh, you were like already wrestling and they were on the ground?
Well, the guy dumped him out and I was supposed to, turn inside out when he hit me with the clothesline. He hit me so damn hard that instead of doing a full inside-out flip, I just skidded on my face in front across the thumbtacks.
Can we see what a Japanese thumbtack looks like?
It's going to look the same as a thumbtack.
Oh, shit.
I think.
Damn.
But I might be able to find a photo of it.
So the difference is only in your mind.
I was expecting
were you in Japan?
yeah
I wrestled at Kurakin Hall
oh yeah of course
it's a very historic place
TJ has a Ribeira steakhouse
yeah he does
he got that from somebody who got a
Ribeira jacket at the famous
Ribeira steakhouse in Japan.
Do you have one?
I did have one.
Did you give it to TJ?
Ooh, those are the feet.
Thank you, TJ.
That's the TJ constant.
I know he has my back.
He can play that whenever he needs to.
That's my fucking guy.
He's ready to go.
Is that like anime sound number four?
Japanese bra sound too.
All right.
Japanese bra sound.
The Land of Bad is a heart-pounding action-packed film
that will keep you on the edge of your seat.
Action Reloaded says,
Buckle up for Land of Bad, a pulse-pounding thriller.
The film captures a mission that goes awry,
and Liam Hemsworth plays a young JTAC airman
who has to rely on drone pilot played by Russell Crowe,
who has his eyes in the sky.
The film shows the close-knit brotherhood
that develops between soldiers.
The mantra of leave no one behind is deep-rooted,
and all that serve whether
you're on the combat field or doing your job from a computer screen land of bad is the first time
brothers liam and luke hemsworth have worked together on the big screen land of bad now
playing in theaters land of bad got a movie sponsor today boy that's pretty cool yeah might
go see it this weekend really yeah go see it i'm gonna be low-key this weekend. I've heard it's a
pulse-pounding thriller. I'm in.
Liam Hemsworth plays a...
Which Hemsworth?
Liam Hemsworth plays a young, maybe
JTAC airman? Yeah, Japanese TAC.
It's what was in his testicle.
Yes, that's the one.
I just sent a picture to TJ.
Of your testicle? No,
I don't think you can put that on YouTube
of the thumbtacks
and the obscene ability
I don't think I can put this on YouTube
for them to just stick in you
when he said Japanese thumbtack
I just kept thinking
yeah right
the old
oh my god
don't ever show that again that wasn't even bad there wasn't even blood there The old. Oh, my God. Holy shit.
Don't ever show that again, please.
That wasn't even bad.
There wasn't even blood there.
You were definitely a brawler in high school.
Yes.
You look like you're about to beat someone up in the fucking locker.
So I've never actually gotten, like, I've never started a fight.
I've gotten jumped many times.
Yeah.
But, no, I've never, never like i'm too scared to get into
a fight really i don't want to get in trouble where are you from oh he's from minnesota okay
oh yeah yeah so like i but were you a stunt guy like not afraid to try oh yeah yeah i would get
kicked out of high school football games all the time because i because i play dirty and like
in high school wrestling too i would get hit with potentially dangerous or they would hit me with those warnings all the time.
Were you the kid that would like mix stuff into his milk carton at the lunch table?
Definitely.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that was absolutely the case.
It's a face thing.
It's your face.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, I think so, man.
I think it's a dead giveaway.
Damn it. I didn't know I had that face. Is that what it is? Yeah, I think so, man. I think it's a dead giveaway. Damn it.
I didn't know I had that face.
Your eyes say you're up for anything.
Yeah.
Okay.
This makes sense now.
Yeah.
People always said that I just look mad.
Have you ever been hospitalized after a match?
Yes.
Yeah.
I have a scar somewhere back here.
Yeah.
Yeah, you do.
That was the one that I said on Mostly Sports this morning.
I almost died i was point one away in like my the blood levels in my body from needing a full-blown
blood transfusion it scares me that an arm injury can i found the artery there's one back there i
found it um and it was like in the first maybe two minutes of this match i then continued to
wrestle that match uh finished it got done
tried to tape it up tried to tape it up it just wouldn't stop bleeding because i hit an artery
uh drive 30 minutes to the nearest hospital uh because this is in nowheresville indiana
get get there they say hey uh we're gonna stitch you up and we don't have time to give you
novocaine so they just go to town and stitch me and i cry when up and we don't have time to give you Novocaine. So they just go to town and stitch me.
And I cry when I get shots.
You don't have time?
No.
They started to and they're like, no.
Oh, yeah, because you're bleeding, huh?
I get there and they trauma tourniquet your arm with this certain tourniquet
and it hurts so bad.
And then they just start going to town with the stitches.
And I started fading in and out of consciousness.
And as I start start i'm like
okay it's over whatever like i'll either wake up or i won't and then they somehow get an iv in me
i'm like okay now i'm awake and she's just going to town with these stitches and i'm just trying
to lean back and she's like you've got glass on your back i'm like ma'am i don't think you
understand that's okay i would just like to lean back. And she's like, no, you can't.
You can't.
And then said, like, the patient's clearly drunk.
And I was like, don't say that ever again.
Yeah.
And, yeah.
And then I tried to wrestle the next day.
And they said, no.
I asked them, like, hey, can I wrestle with stitches and staples?
And she said, yes, but if you bleed at all
you will die and i was like so if i just don't bleed come on which in a dead match you lose
you would lose yeah right i would yeah and and i was like so if i just don't bleed and she's like
no you're stitched inside of your arm that will break the minimum amount of blood yeah yeah like they
probably should have given me a blood transfusion my friend who's a nurse and was a wrestler but
had a much smarter idea to go be a nurse instead um said that no we would have given you a blood
transfusion at our hospital but i think because i have o negative blood and i was young they were
like fuck this kid we're just not we're not giving you yeah they're like no you'll he'll
be fine he'll he'll learn so were there any long-term or even still lasting effects from that
no i mean the like the next few weeks sucked because i had no blood in my body so if you had
a you had the choice there was a button to erase that from having happened to you would you you
yeah no i think one near-death experience is optimal well
but then what did you say about two two that's traumatic no it's what are you talking about i
think i think one is awesome one is the ideal amount of near near-death experiences i want to
apologize for laughing during that story um brando was just really really out of breath
i had a feeling yeah thank you g and it was you? I wasn't laughing at you. Yeah, what happened?
I had to go pee really, really, really bad,
and I went to the bathroom on the north end of the building.
It was closed due to cleaning,
and then I had already got my mind and my penis were already agreed that we were about to pee.
Oh, God.
So you had to make the sprint.
So I had to sprint to the south end of the building.
I thought you were just warming up for the for the infinite do you do you do you think that's north okay so if i'm facing west right
now which i dudes who know what direction it always is i hate you hate me then i hate
why would i know what hold on hold on i think some guys can pull it off
actually that's north isn't it that's north yeah that's south no that's west
no that's north you got it up yeah that's west never know when you need to know i hate the
compass but it's my two favorite things to do i don't get it. You wouldn't.
All right, TJ, you want to pull that thing up?
Let's call this the compass.
That guy had to have ruled.
What should we call this thing? I never put that together.
I don't know, compass?
That's my kind of inventor, dude.
That'd be a sick Pokemon.
Compass?
Compass. Dude, I want that guy to name more things. Yeah. That'd be a sick Pokemon. Compass? Compass.
Dude, I want that guy to name more things.
Yeah.
This is the turd fart.
It's like a really nice device.
It's like a stethoscope.
Oh, man.
That guy rocked.
TJ, that has to be a bro.
Can you look up the inventor of the compass?
He's got to be giving the finger in his Wikipedia.
China.
China.
Just China's inventor?
China.
Okay.
So no one...
That's the thing that unlocked the entire world
that made us travel oceans.
Those are like big motivators.
Individually.
Why you want to go across the ocean.
I need to cum.
And I need to piss.
Damn, man.
This invention is going to change the world
what are you calling it
I don't know
fucking compass
I don't fucking know
so stupid
you better name it quick
fuck you
how about compass
oh man
this one sip of high noon has gone right to me yeah you're drunk How about cum? Oh, man.
This one sip of high noon's gone right to me. Yeah, you're a drunk.
All right.
Shit, I don't know.
What should we call it?
Wait, was that Donkey Kong?
Super Baby.
TJ's definitely been...
Yeah, he's been the whole time.
TJ's been going to work.
I'm kind of lost.
I've been fucking around.
Donkey Kong loop right now.
Just unlock TJ's autism.
Donkey Kong Country Returns?
This is like exactly where you want to be, though.
Yeah.
I could do this.
This is your heaven.
Without lying, I could do this for the next 12 hours.
It's so fun.
And then it lets you know if you're the first person to ever discover it.
Oh.
That's cool.
This is like the end of a loop.
This won't do anything with anything.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
I got Donkey Kong Country 3 Plus Volcano.
The classic combat.
Oh, 3 Plus Volcano.
That won't do anything.
Yeah, so I think if we just shift refresh,
and it'll give us a clean slate every time on incognito.
So I think we now have to unlock a compass.
That's the goal, to get a compass?
A compass.
It's two goals, two goals A compass challenge
So when people speedrun
What is the final goal?
They want to
People are like
Trying to get every country
People are trying
To get every Pokemon
People are trying
To get the most
First discoveries
It's pretty interesting
So Nick and Mook
Are going to be up first
Okay
Are we going to go
Eyes closed
Or are we going to
No because they got to talk
I think we just step out
Maybe go grab a snack
Yeah let's go everybody
It's only three minutes
Everybody but Nick and Moog
Stay for three minutes
Alright
Let's do it
And then you two will be competing
Asking alternating questions
20 questions
Loser has to finish
Let's do this
What are you thinking? Let's do this.
What are you thinking?
Let's do double earth.
Double earth. I think let's go space.
Okay.
Let's get like a space station.
Mountain.
Oh, fuck.
Mountain and water.
Lake.
Double lake.
Double lake.
I think that should be ocean.
Ocean.
Okay.
Okay.
I like ocean.
Ocean mountain. What's that going to be I think that gets ocean. Ocean. Okay. Okay. I like ocean. Ocean mountain.
Is that going to be like continent?
Ocean mountain.
So we want to get to space.
Should we get Epstein's Island?
Yes.
Okay.
Island.
Now we need to make child.
We need children.
Okay.
Earth.
And wind.
I don't know how the fuck to make man.
Dust.
We need to get man.
Fire and dust.
Ash.
Ash. Ash and water. I think we might need like plants to get humans. Fire and dust. Ash. Ash.
Ash and water.
I think we might need like plants to get healing.
Puddles.
Double puddle.
Let's get wet.
Pond.
Pond.
Okay, we're getting life.
Do pond and earth.
Okay.
Swamp.
Okay.
Close to creatures.
Swamp and mountain.
What would that be?
A bog perchance? Volcano. No. Unfortunate. Okay. Close to creatures. Swamp and mountain. What would that be? A bog, perchance?
Volcano.
Unfortunate.
Shit.
What do you think, Atiche?
Swamp and volcano?
What the fuck is that?
Lava.
Damn.
No.
Okay.
Let's go double swamp.
Bog.
Bog.
A little turd.
What's the turd emoji?
Bog is like mud, I guess.
Let's go bog and... Bog and bog? Bog and bog. A little turd. What's the turd emoji? Bog is like mud, I guess. Let's go bog and bog and bog.
Bog and bog.
Ah, fuck.
Bog and wind.
We need like stone as well.
Fog.
Stone, I think we need lava and wind.
Okay.
I believe.
Okay.
Why not lava and water?
Lava water.
Lava water. Lava water. That's that good stuff. That lava water. Stone. Okay. Why not lava and water? Lava water. Lava water.
That's that good stuff.
That lava water.
Stone.
Okay.
Okay.
Do stone and ocean.
Island again.
Fuck.
Can we double island?
Continent.
Oh, that's big.
Okay, now go continent and mountain.
Asia. Asia. Oh, that's big. Okay, now go continent and mountain. Asia.
Asia.
Okay, Asia and bog.
Soggy.
Soggy.
All right, do soggy and soggy.
Do soggy Asia.
Soggy Asia.
Soggy Asia.
Asia minor.
Oh, wait.
Asia minor and island.
Asia minor, minor island. Cyprus. Cyprus. Oh, that would be awesome. Cyprus and pond. Asia Minor and Island Asia Minor and Island
Cyprus
Cyprus and Pond
What's a Cyprus?
Cyprus is a country
Venus
Venus and Asia
I can't believe we got Aphrodite
Beautiful
Let's go back to Venus
I want to get Venus Williams.
Yeah.
Venus and Island.
We have to get America.
Yeah, continent.
Go continent and island.
I think continent and lake, I believe, is America.
Hell ago.
Okay.
Lake.
It's continent and lake or...
Okay, do continent and lake.
Or mountains, I forget.
Top.
America. America and Venus. Or mountains, I forget. Top. America.
America and Venus.
Shit.
Bullshit.
All right, double Statue of Liberty.
Okay.
Just as I thought.
Okay, let's just go...
Asia.
Throw it.
Yeah.
And stone.
Asia stone.
Buddha. Buddha. Go stone. Asia stone. Buddha.
Buddha.
Go Buddha and soggy.
Are we out of time?
Mud.
Mud.
Combine mud and Asia real quick.
Genghis Khan.
I like that.
I like that.
All right, we'll end it there.
Yeah, okay.
Cool.
Let's clear it.
Good work.
I like that.
Yeah.
I really thought Asia Minor was a hit there.
TJ, this game's going to be bad for you.
Yeah.
I have to cancel all my weekend plans.
This shit's so addicting.
I love that we were whispering.
I know.
It didn't have to be.
It felt good, though.
All right.
So the teams will ask us alternating questions.
Yes or no's, of course.
Okay.
Okay.
Are we ready?
I believe so.
Is it a living creature?
Yeah.
Well, not currently.
Not currently.
It was living.
Is it extinct?
Dead.
Is it a historical figure?
Yes.
Is it Mr. Ed?
No.
Was it a president?
No.
Was it like an activist?
No. Is it a Like an activist No
Is it a person
Yes
Why was activist your
Is it a fictional person
No
Historical figure
Too early for that
Wait how many questions are we at
It's
You're just alternating
Until one wins
Loser has to finish their high notes
It's a historical figure
What other reasons
You're embarrassing me
What other people
Why other reasons
Are people historical figures
Is it a
Former like National leader Yes Yes Kim Jong Un Hitler me in front of everyone. Why other reasons are people historical figures? Is it a former
national leader? Yes.
Kim Jong-un? Hitler?
No. Is it an American?
No.
Mandela? No.
No.
There's more narrowing down to do. Yes.
Is it a European country? No.
Is it Asian?
Yes.
Yep.
I don't know any Asian leaders.
I'm going to call Che.
Chinese.
No.
Malaysian.
No.
Vietnamese.
No.
Korean.
No.
Nope.
Violent.
Yes.
Very.
Is it Attila the Hun?
No.
Pol Pot?
No.
Genghis Khan?
Genghis Khan. Yes. Genghis Khan? Genghis Khan.
Yes, Genghis Khan.
After I said it.
Losing team finishes.
Is that Khan?
Who is that?
Kai Onjia.
Yeah.
All right.
We have to finish our whole game.
We got to Genghis Khan.
Sure do.
Whole thing.
Okay.
You had Archipelago in there?
Yeah.
We did some crazy work.
Buddha, mud.
I wish I had a cup.
We were trying to get Epstein's Island.
Yeah.
So we got to islands. And then we got Asia. We tried to I had a cup. We were trying to get Epstein's Island. Yeah, so we got to...
Right.
Island, and then we got Asia.
We tried to come out of Asia.
We got Asia Minor.
Asia Minor.
But like Asia...
Cyprus.
We were very close.
But then we got to like Venus, and then we wanted Venus Williams.
I will say this.
Three minutes goes by really fast.
I believe that.
So just start.
Just start ripping stuff. that. So just start. Just start ripping stuff.
Okay.
So, winning team
should get to make the next one. Why does he have a poop next to his name?
That's kind of controversial. Made by fucking
libs. Me, Oren, and Titus.
Okay. Alright, give us three minutes.
Wait, so we don't get to go until
me or Kyle gets the question right?
Who knows? Yeah, you guys might just be wasted
at this point.
Okay.
Have fun.
Quick.
All right.
Y'all just want to play marbles or something?
Should we just not?
This is so far beyond my comprehension.
Yeah, no, let's just go.
Let's just go.
Start the clock.
Earth and water.
Okay.
All right, fire, plant.
Fire, plant.
Wind, smoke.
Plant, cloud.
No, no, hold on.
You're going too fast.
Hold on.
Now put another one out there that says plant and plant.
Plant.
And I want tree and tree.
I want to get to a forest.
Okay, now let's go.
So we have rain and we have forest.
What do you think that would be?
That thing is going to give us the rainforest.
Uh-huh.
Let's throw them together.
Yeah.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
So add fire.
That would be very funny if we just stopped.
Add fire to the rainforest.
Because, like, yeah.
Smoke again?
Yeah.
Yep, do that. Smoke and rainforest? Fire. Fuck me. So we're just back to fire. Smoke again? Yeah. Yep, do that.
Smoke and rainforest?
Fire.
Fuck me.
So we're just back to fire.
Do smoke and rain.
Fire and...
Please.
You just want to smoke the whole time.
Smoke and...
Give us cloud.
Fire, cloud.
How do they get to give us cloud?
Forest, cloud.
Lightning.
Okay, now we got something cooking.
Do lightning and fire.
Sun.
Sun.
Do sun plus... No, put we got something cooking. Do lightning and fire. Sun. Do sun plus sun.
No, put wind and sun together.
Yeah, sunflower and rainforest.
Fuck it.
Okay, sunflower and rainforest.
They won't go together?
They don't go together.
What's happening?
All right, do lightning and sunflower.
Oh, I love that.
Oxygen.
What did oxygen get here?
It was cooking.
All right.
Put sunflower back on sun.
I like sunflower better than sun.
Okay.
Oxygen plus oxygen.
Air.
Air plus air.
Sky and lightning.
That's just lightning, isn't it?
Thunder.
Okay.
Sunflower plus thunder fuck this sunflower plus sun oh my god how do we not get sky and thunder sky and thunder
lightning how do they get to name rainforest and sunflower um Earth and... TJ, take over.
Yeah, TJ, cook.
TJ, cook.
There you go.
If we see something, we'll adjust.
What's rainbow and oxygen?
Keep rainbow out there.
We might get...
There we go.
I like that.
Oh, Tebow.
Yeah.
Can we get to that
there we go i like that carl oh shit piglet now we're getting there pig and mud
that's not a cup of mud at all swamp mud lava swamp what about lava and swamp did we do that
can i just say something it's kind of stupid. Yeah.
We're not very good at it.
It's a lot harder than, I don't know how the fuck they got to Genghis Khan.
They knew what they were doing.
Unicorn, known, angry. Get us to something, TJ.
We might just have to do Pegasus.
Yeah, let's.
No, Zeus.
Zeus.
Okay, I like that.
All right.
All right.
That was disappointing. All right. That was disappointing.
All right, group.
Good.
Okay.
They got to Genghis Khan.
That was so hard.
That was rough.
That was brutal.
Yeah.
And I'm not really sure.
I don't think we accomplished anything.
I don't think this game was made for us.
I played a game similar to this
like on my phone back in the day but like there was yeah alchemy i think yeah or there was one
called like doodle god and like doodle devil you could just like combine shit but like there was
an end game there yeah the yak is sponsored by better help a common misconception about
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All right, right everybody you may
start peppering us with questions is it a living person no is it a place no is it a i know you
guys are is it an animal no an idea you want idea mook no you thought they ended up with a concept? A theory. No. Oh. No. Is it like a fake person, like a character?
Yes.
Is it animated?
No.
Probably in some forms it has been, yes.
We're going to say 50-50.
So is it a creature of lore?
Yes.
How about to ask a question you have to pay with one sip?
Okay.
Moke, you want to get ice spice in?
Is it ice spice?
No.
Is it someone that's like, there's a book, he's a book character maybe?
It didn't sip.
Is it played by an actor?
I'm sure it has been.
It has been.
Is it Bigfoot? No. no damn is it a a man ish yeah
is it a dog no no a man ish so is it like half man half something is it would you describe this as abominable? Or abominable?
That's not a word.
Dude, you're that obsessed with muscles.
The abominable
snowman.
He has a 10-pack.
Is it
a religious character?
Ish, yes.
Oh, ish?
Oh, oh.
Is it like a Greek mythology character?
Yes.
Oh, Aphrodite.
Is it Apollo?
No.
Is it based with water?
No.
Is it based with the sky?
Yes.
Oh, is it Zeus?
Whoa, no sip.
No fucking sip.
There was a lot of sip.
That was fucked up.
She was yapping.
No, that was a play the tapes. That was straight yap. He was yapping. No, that was a play the tapes.
That was straight yap.
That was just after yap, after yap.
Yappy, yappy, yappa.
Whatever.
Sorry I got it right.
She did just make up.
How did Baconator get there?
It was never there.
Baconator?
Baconator.
TJ's been cooking.
Oh my God.
TJ's been cooking.
We struggled so bad.
That, Nick, this is so hard.
This is impossible.
You guys got to Zeus.
We all got to.
I think in a fair amount of time. We accidentally got to Zeus. guys got to Zeus. We all got to. I think in a fair amount of time.
We accidentally got to Zeus.
TJ got to Zeus.
We were stuck on smoke forever.
What's bacon pegasus?
I'd eat that.
Bacon and corn.
All right.
Maybe we learn the game together.
We try to get to an event or something.
Okay.
Brandon, what do you want?
Think of a wrestler or something.
Yeah.
Okay. Let's try to get to. it should be something we all know though no so we can all know okay she says it's not
i can't play right okay sorry no no scotty too haughty yeah that's what i was thinking yeah
try to get well known super well known yeah a list or vanna white we could try to get the
wheel of fortune let's try to get the Wheel of Fortune. Let's try to get to Wheel of Fortune. Okay.
Earth.
Okay, Earth.
Earth.
Okay.
No, Earth and Wa- You good, Kyle?
Yeah, I'm good.
How did you get to Stone, Brandon?
It was like Fire and Earth.
Fire and Earth.
And Water.
Do you think this thing's programmed to get to-
It was Lava plus Water, wasn't it?
To get to Barstool Sports.
I don't know. Could we get to Barstool Sports? I don't know.
Could we get to Barstool Sports?
No way.
I mean, if you guys got to Genghis Khan, we're not far off.
Genghis Khan owned from Asia to Europe.
We just have kind of Boston.
The Northeast.
All right, so we'll...
TJ's cooking.
Yeah, I'm going to let him work a little bit with these basics Earth and
Dust
The dust bowl
Sand and earth
Desert
Brandon I bet you thought that said dessert
Oasis
Let's get the wonder wall
Mirage. Ooh.
Yeah, you just kind of end up in these loops.
Yeah.
You know what?
Fuck this.
Let's stop doing this because it's tough.
TJ, no.
I want to see.
I feel like you know what you're doing.
Yeah, it does.
Give me five minutes to fuck around with it, and then you guys try and guess what I did.
Yes, I like.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
So what do we do in the meantime we talk we yak what's everybody doing this weekend you want to see julio's
special julio tonight yeah okay what about saturday saturday guys don't be mad i have
outside of work friends i'm going to a birthday party I have outside of work friends. I'm going to a birthday party. Whoa. I made outside of work friends.
Whoa.
You made them out here?
And I didn't even tell you.
That's crazy.
And I'm going to his party.
Who's this?
You don't know him.
It's Seth.
How'd you meet him?
At a work function?
I met him at a bar, and then he invited me to be his euchre alternate, if his partner
is.
What's a euchre?
Euchre, the card game.
An announcer for the Brewers.
Buck euchre?
Bob.
It's a Midwestern card game.
Yes.
It's very old.
You don't know about it.
Oh, I love euchre.
I didn't know you played euchre.
I grew up playing.
You play euchre?
Oh, yeah.
I have like 12-hour euchre parties at our place.
Euchre.
Yeah.
You play euchre?
I love euchre.
Okay.
The people who play it love it.
Do you play, Brandon?
Don't know what it is.
Oh, it's great.
I only know because-
So, yeah.
I'm going to hang out with my outside work work friends you have euchre buddies uh one euchre
buddy seth and then it's his birthday and i'm going to go meet his boy okay you say you're
hanging out with your friends are you you're hanging out with seth who's your friend and
you're hanging out with his friends well seth's other friend is named reed reed wears all denim
and reed is friends with our reed oh oh is the other Reed? Well, that's almost a work friend at that point.
No, but I've never hung out with Reed and Seth.
I mean, Reed and Reed.
Reed hangs out with Reed on his own time.
So Reed wears all denim.
Why does Reed wear all denim?
I don't know.
But then our Reed started hanging out with Reed
because of their names.
Denim, denim, denim.
Okay.
Oh, God damn it.
Is Reed going to be there?
Don't know.
Which Reed? The first Reed, Denim Reed's going to be there? Don't know. Which Reed?
The first Reed.
Denim Reed's going to be there.
Probably.
Denim Reed and Seth are thick as thieves.
I don't think Reed wears denim all the time.
All right.
I mean.
He's permanently in a Canadian tuxedo?
He always has some sort of jean.
Okay.
That's got to be a hard bit to commit to, though.
Just denim all the time?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Where do you get to in life where that's the move? That's a hard bit to commit to, though. Just denim all the time? Yeah. I don't know. Where do you get to in life where that's the move?
That's a hard bit to commit to?
Yeah, that's a really hard bit to commit to.
Put a thumbtack in your balls.
I also hope Seth Hardy doesn't surprise.
Not intentionally, Luke.
I think if you do denim all the time, though, it's not a bit at that point.
That's who you are.
Yeah, but what do you have to do in your life?
What do you have to go through to get to that point?
Bit can become.
I feel like it's actually really easy.
I own like 10 pairs of jeans.
You really like the feel of denim on your skin.
But like jeans are one thing.
Once you're wearing the denim jacket,
that's where it...
I don't wear jeans on the bottom half very often.
I'm a more top half denim man.
Is that not jean? No.
That's pant. I own zero pair of jeans
at the moment. Really? Yeah.
What would you wear on a date right now?
Joggers.
What?
This fit right here.
You can't do that.
No khakis?
Hey, if you don't take me for who I am, get the fuck out of here.
That's a good point.
He's right.
If you don't like me, I'm not jeanless.
I will, yeah.
It is nice having out-of-work friends, though.
Yeah.
I have a crew that I just black out with.
Wait, you have a crew here?
I have a crew here that I just black out with. Holy shit. When you guys go home at 10 p.m wait now i'm jealous i thought i was the
only one with outside home brandon your family is you're out of work for well that and have you
not heard of antioch pizza which has eight locations in the northwest suburbs brandon
franchises available how much are they paying you i know they're not i think this is a neighborly
move next door neighbor perhaps oh why don't you have a block? Not an actual friend.
That's friend by circumstance.
No, no, no, no.
Friend by happenstance.
He lives like three houses away.
He lives way, he lives around the corner.
That's a friend by happenstance.
That's a forced friendship.
No, that's not a forced friendship.
Forced proximity.
You play euchre with him?
We never played euchre.
Oh, here's the thing.
You should start.
Here's the thing.
He has a family.
I have a family.
He has a pool. Oh. I have the thing. He has a family. I have a family. He has a pool.
Oh.
I have the lake.
Oh.
Oh.
We use each other, but we're also friends.
You're not helping your friends by circumstance case here.
Have you used his pool?
Of course I've used his pool.
You've been in his pool.
I've been in his pool.
You're friends.
Yeah, you're friends.
You're friends.
Did you bring over meat?
Yeah, I brought food.
Oh, you're best friends, maybe. had oh we spent halloween evening together oh lovely yeah so you don't
spend halloween evening with somebody who's not your friend no yeah true i have always said that
so if this were infinite craft pool and lake would equal friendship friendship yeah it would
oh that's beautiful all right we all all moved to Chicago for this job,
except for you.
Yeah.
Does everybody here have Chicago friends
that are not from Barstool?
Yeah, I got a lot.
You got a lot?
You don't have a lot.
Stand-up.
You do the stand-up world.
See their comic friends.
Comic friends, yeah.
Titus, you got any Chicago?
Yeah, but I have people.
I'm from around here-ish,
so a lot of...
You kind of cheated.
Yeah. I have one WVU alumni
that I know
yeah
oh Titus
how are your neighbors
did you make friends with them
yeah I did
yeah
one family brought over
a bottle of wine
and very very kind
I didn't do it on purpose
but yeah
they were very nice
and we were loving the neighborhood
they brought over a bottle of wine
they said welcome to the neighborhood
here's our phone number
did you invite them in
no
no do you still live near Stephan yeah yeah We're loving the neighborhood. They brought over a bottle of wine. They said, welcome to the neighborhood. Here's our phone number. Did you invite them in? No.
Do you still live near Stephan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stephan and I.
This is our Stephan?
Yeah.
I don't know how close, but I asked him where he lived.
You can feel his presence.
I asked him where he lived, and the intersection he said, I said, that's impossible.
That's the intersection I live at.
So unless you're in one of the other three houses, there's way that's true and then he's just like you'll never know see you around he's living in your house have you seen him walk i have not no
um but yeah your only knowledge of that is him telling you he's your name right
so is he fucking with me he might be be. I don't think Stefan fucks with people.
And how would he know your cross-intersection?
I don't know.
Yeah, no, I meant...
Yeah, I don't know.
That's a good point.
I don't know.
I never told him where I lived.
I just...
Right.
I said the area I lived in,
and he's like,
The tech guys' producers have way too much power,
because they hear the mics
even when they're not recording,
so they've heard us talking shit on them.
Oh, fuck.
Every time. TJ shit on them.
TJ? Bouch?
Yeah I know all your guys dirt.
Uh huh.
Wasn't there a big problem? That's how people found out I fucked Blatman.
Oh.
Worth it. Yeah.
That was awesome. It was during Motorcycle Drive By by Third Eye Blind
when I was first in him.
That's beautiful. Are we still going
to Third Eye Blind this year? Was that this show?
Can I be honest? Yeah.
I already bought my tickets.
I thought we were doing this together.
You know how we get.
You and Seth got tickets already?
It's all the Euchre boys.
Damn, he's replacing you guys with his Euchre
boys.
We'll come crawling back.
I guess we won't do that.
And then I also got tickets to go see Billy Joel that same week.
He's here too?
With Stevie Nicks.
You're going with Stevie Nicks to see Billy Joel?
Going with Stevie to see Billy.
That's at Soldier Field.
As one does.
A lot of good concerts here this year.
The summer here is going to be awesome.
Yeah.
We got Creed for Mostly Sports. We got that one coming up yeah coming up in uh august are they
gonna perform on the corner huh are they gonna perform what they're not gonna be on mostly sports
one of our mostly sports bits is we're all going to creed together oh
how fucking sick would that be if we got them all that would be sick Can you name more than one Creed member?
Scott's friend?
The drummer?
Scott's, yeah.
Seth would love that.
Seth.
I'll put my crew up against your crew any day.
Any day.
Do you play cards with your crew?
No.
I feel like you're really cool in your crew.
I'm the man.
I can't wait to infiltrate shit on you and then they all start shitting on you. I know. you're like really cool in your crew. I'm the man. I can't wait to infiltrate
shit on you
and then they all
start shitting on you.
I know.
I can't bring you
around my crew.
Oh, I'm crew kryptonite.
They're going to start
dunking on me.
I'll take your crew
and make it mine.
They'll hate you.
That happens with every
crew I've ever been in.
You've stolen Mook's crew?
No, I've never stolen Mook's crew.
No, no.
It's just history repeats itself.
Oh, damn.
Somebody from another crew
poisons the current crew?
Poisons the current crew, and I just become mook again.
Then you have to go crew searching again.
Exactly.
Well, Kyle said every good crew has a loser, a fat slob, and a tank.
Yep.
And sometimes the loser can leave that crew and become the cool guy of the other crew.
I don't think my crew has a fat slob or a tank.
Or a male crew.
Yeah, it's a male.
Oh, well, I have a mixed gender crew.
That's not really a crew.
That's not a crew at all.
Why?
That's a group of people having sex.
There's no sex involved.
Honey, I have bad news for you.
Well, whatever.
Okay, I have two really, really, really hard to guess things.
Okay.
Are they actual things?
No.
Or is it like fucking Donkey Kong 3?
Okay.
All right, you want to just go?
How many words is it?
One is three words combined.
One is two words combined.
Sarah Jessica Parker.
Done.
No.
You love Sarah Jessica Parker?
I love Sarah Jessica Parker.
What? It's like Jessica Parker. What?
It's like a foot.
I'm re-watching Sex and the City right now.
Re-watching?
Yep.
Wait, Moog, I just finished re-watching.
You're the loser in every crew.
I'm not afraid to say it.
It's a great show.
I think more men should watch it.
I think it would be a good insight on...
One of the guys in it grew up close to me and Kyle.
Like down the street.
Who? John Corbett. John Corb who'd he play Steve I don't know I
forgot he was in that yeah he was
well liked I think he had to
be with Sarah J
oh
I wonder who he was fucking and
wheeling sexually I wonder who he's laying
it down yeah him oh my
god Aiden. Yeah.
Yeah.
Aiden.
Grew up down the street.
Wow, that's cool.
He was also, he was in other things, too.
Northern Exposure.
Northern Exposure is what I know him from.
My big factory.
Yeah, Greek wedding.
Yeah, there you go.
He had him a career.
Yeah, totally.
Like a Wayne Knight career.
Yeah, not as big, though, because he had Toy Story 2.
Well, I don't know.
Wait, compare, wait, these guys might have comparable careers.
Wayne Knight and John Corbett?
What's John Corbett's net worth?
John Corbett's probably ahead of Wayne Knight.
You think?
I think he's probably ahead.
I think Newman's more recognizable.
Yeah, but Newman is a recognizable bit character.
But still.
Wait, can I ask who John...
John Corbett is the guy we were talking about.
Wayne Knight played Newman on Seinfeld.
Who's he married to? An all-time
babe.
Well, he's really hot.
Who? John Corbett.
Bo Derek.
Do y'all want to Google each other's net worth?
Yes.
Why would Brandon bring this up?
I don't know.
Let's Google Nick Teraney's net worth.
What comes in Google autofill when you type all of our names that's a that's a better topic right there just put nick teraney and then whatever
connor mook's network connor mook net worth we're at like negative 200 right now
connor mook real name accounting Barstool real name mom
chill
what's PWC
that's the accounting firm
I worked at
oh shit
they gotcha
oh yeah
oh yeah
do uh
do Brandon
do anybody
do Kyle Bauer
I think you wanted
to be googled
Kyle Bauer's gonna be
oh yeah
why is
four million
shit Brandon
no you're gonna say
it's low even though it's way too high.
I know how you work.
Why did you say husband?
Husband.
Hey!
Brandon Walker, husband.
His career as an anchor is his primary.
Like he weighs down ships.
Oh, my God.
Nick Draney girlfriend Chicago what?
Chicago dress
Nick Draney
Oh come on guys
You guys are sick fucks dude
Click it
I guarantee you
Come on boys
That's crazy
So should we guess what TJ got?
Yeah, I forgot what we were doing.
It's going to be impossible.
Donkey Kong Country plus Bacon Pegasus.
No.
It's a one-word phrase that is three words combined.
Why I oughta.
I'm not trying.
Three completely different things mashed into one word.
That's kind of a good guess, no?
I'll be it. No, the. I'm not trying. Three completely different things smashed into one word. That's kind of a good guess, no? Why?
I'll be it.
No.
The word I'll be it.
Three completely different topics smashed into one thing.
So guess what they are now. All right, so we have to go word by word.
Is one a place?
No.
Is one a thing?
Come on, Gia.
All of them are things.
Three things combined into one word.
Is it an activist?
You know it.
Chinese water torture.
No, I don't think they're cohesive.
It's one word, but it's a mashup of two.
TJ, scrap it.
The boys are too dense.
Oh, my God.
Is any of them a proper noun?
No.
Are any of them like a toy that you play with?
No.
Any of them a food?
Yes.
How many?
Okay, so we're going to go to the two-word conjunction then.
I had two options here.
It's half food, half other.
Other?
Well, you haven't guessed that yet.
Oh, okay.
Is it a plant?
No.
Is it a sport?
No.
Is it a protein?
A meat?
I guess.
Oh.
Is it animal? It's turducken.
It's an animal. Is it an animal that's
commonly eaten? No. Is it
turducken? No. Otter? No.
Wait, so the food
you're describing is an animal?
Half of this word is a food. Half of
this word is an animal. Is it a mammal?
Good question. Let me check.
Let me check. Is Is it a mammal? Good question. Let me check. Let me check.
Is the food a fruit?
Oh, it's not a real animal.
Unicorn.
I was saying, is the food
a protein?
Yes. Not a
real animal?
Is it a mythical animal? Yes.
Pegasus? No. Is it a dragon?
Good. Sort of. Wyvern? Wyvern. Pegasus? No. Is it a dragon? Good, good.
Sort of.
Wyvern?
Wyvern, worm.
No, no.
Smog?
Is it a proper name of a dragon?
Yes.
Smog?
Is it Shenron?
I don't know any dragons.
It's a dragon's name.
Is it a dragon from Game of Thrones?
No, it's not from any.
And it's not smog.
But it's just a name for a dragon, like Dustin?
Dustin.
It's not Dustin.
Dustin Dragon.
It's like a biblical.
Yeah.
What?
Biblical dragons?
I don't know any types of dragons.
I'm going to throw in the towel.
Is it a. Biblical dragon. I don't know any types of dragons. I'm going to throw in the towel. Is it a...
Biblical dragons?
Judas?
Is it a...
Judas was not a dragon.
Is it a beef?
Is it a beef food?
Is it a poultry food?
It's a byproduct of poultry, yes.
Egg?
Egg?
Nugget?
Egg.
It is an egg food.
Scrambled?
No.
Benedict.
Omelette.
Yes.
Omelette.
Which one?
Benedict.
Omelette.
Omelette.
Omelette. Omelette is the second half of this word. Blank omelette. Oh. Dragon omelette. Yes. Omelette. Which one? Benedict. Omelette. Omelette. Omelette.
Omelette is the second half of this word.
Blank omelette.
Dragon omelette.
Okay.
No, it's one.
Again, it's one word.
I don't know what he's doing.
Omelette is the second part of it.
I'm so confused.
Titus, how do you hold this?
Excalibur omelette.
I'm over this.
TJ, show it to us so we can be mad at you.
Yep.
It's a Leviathan omelette.
Fuck you.
Leviathan omelette.
And I also had Sharktopusnado if you wanted to go that way.
Sharktopusnado.
Sharktopusnado.
That's hilarious.
We would have nailed Sharktopusnado.
You guessed protein first.
Wait, look at the names.
Tthulu?
Tthulu.
It's nearly impossible to pronounce by human tongue.
I'm concerned at how fast you got to all these options.
Sandwisher?
Yeah, it was kind of quick.
Gollum?
Ariel? Sandragon? Well, it was kind of quick. Gollum? Ariel?
Sand dragon?
So instead of giving us something guessable, he gave
us Leviathan omelet or
Sharktopus. What's Leviathan?
Leviathan, sorry. Is that a sea creature?
Leviathan is like a
biblical sea serpent.
Leviathan is anything giant, right? That's a lot of
Hulu is a Leviathan.
A Sharktopusnado would be a combination
shark octopus that is a tornado.
Arguably worse
than just your traditional Sharknado
that you see.
Because it has tentacles and suckers.
I would say that would be way worse
than a giant with teeth or a massive shark.
Would a giant
squid scare you more than a shark
1 million percent
I've seen the ones that are
about 20 feet tall
that would
how would you see it
picture form
well I thought you meant
the way you said it made it seem like you'd seen it
I haven't seen it
you were looking for bibles in the ocean
came across a 20 foot squid those things have to find so many bibles You said it made it seem like you'd seen it in the wild. I haven't seen it. You were looking for Bibles in the ocean.
Came across a 20-foot squid. There's a 20-foot squid guarding the Bible.
Those things have to find so many Bibles.
You have to kill the squid to get the Bible.
They've got a Bible hoard.
Oh, my God.
All kinds of arms for them, too.
You need me?
Yep.
All right.
Whatever could you mean?
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What do you want the next flavor to be?
Leviathan omelet.
Strawberry?
I want rainbow sherbet.
Papaya.
All those sound delicious.
I'm a big sherbet guy.
Yeah, you went through a phase on accident.
Oh, every day in the...
I didn't grow up next to a Jamba Juice.
Yeah.
And I thought Jamba Juice was healthy meal replacement.
I had an orange dream Jamba Juice.
I remember this.
Every morning for the first two years I lived in New York.
And that's just orange sherbet and ice cream.
And I was like, look at me at Rediscovering America.
Not Rediscovering, Surviving Barstool.
You puffed up a little bit?
Puff.
Huh.
And it was because I had ice cream for breakfast every day for 700 days.
All right, so I'm going to go ahead and say
what, I don't know the difference
in ice cream and sherbet, or is there
a difference at all? I don't think sherbet has
cream or milk.
Yeah, I think that's the deal.
Sherbet was definitely a thing that we had
in the Midwest all the time. I had orange sherbet
as I was a kid. I had orange sherbet all the time.
And it's so good, but I never knew
the difference, the actual tactical difference between that and ice cream. I just know it's not good but i never knew the difference the actual tactical difference
between that and ice cream i just know it's not ice cream i also don't know what the difference
is with like gelato i don't know gelato is made with yeah it doesn't have uh no it has a lot of
italian ice cream yeah yeah but yeah i think it has egg or something. Egg whites or something. They get way too fancy with that.
And Zara loves white chocolate?
Yes.
Yes.
That's a fact.
I do.
I do.
I do.
I also love French ice cream, by the way.
French ice cream.
That's the best kind of ice cream.
Yep.
They double the yolk they use in the ice cream, pretty much.
So is French ice cream a gelato?
No, that's Italian ice cream.
No, they have like hella yolk.
Are you saying sexual terms?
I think so.
Zaw sounds more sexual when he's talking about ice cream than women.
Can we Urban Dictionary French ice cream and see what that is?
There's a brand I like.
It's called Van Leeuwen.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know that was French. That's French ice cream like. It's called Van Leeuwen. Oh, yeah. I'm addicted to that.
I didn't know that was... That's French ice cream.
Gelato uses less cream
and more milk
than ice cream.
Do you guys know
what the PF stands for
in P.F. Chang's?
Pretty Fried?
I think it's
Peter Fleming.
I think it was just
a white dude.
Yeah.
Really?
Relative of Frank?
Probably.
That can't be it.
The potato family.
Paul Fleming.
Damn.
And Philip Chang.
And then they made it Chang.
I soloed one of those recently.
One of the most depressing meals I've ever had.
You went to P.F. Chang's by yourself?
Mark Davis does it all the time.
That seems fine.
That's a place to go alone.
Francis was skiing and Sass was fishing.
And you went to P.F. Chang's?
Yeah.
It would be sad if it was your birthday
and the waiters had to bring out
the brownie with the sparkler
to a solo table.
Going solo and telling the waiter
it's my birthday.
We're going to make you do that.
Okay. Poor Mook. When do you go to Perth? To a solo table. Going solo and telling the waiter it's my birthday. We're going to make you do that.
Okay.
Yep.
Yeah.
Poor Mook.
When do you go to Perth?
March 7th.
I should be there today.
Corinna Koff is there. Oh, I saw your tweet, yeah.
I mean, I'm...
You're in the same country as her here.
What have you done?
What's Australia going to do, bud?
That didn't even cross my mind.
I'm in the same country. Oh, i gotta get there now that that american woman's also there guys i'm missing my chance me and meek phil have to do like an amazing race i said that i think i
want to send meek phil with him should we do a go fun uh let's put together money around the
office to send meek phil over withook. I really want to see that.
I think that would make it better.
Meek and Mook.
Yeah.
Meek and Mook.
Ooh.
I love that.
That's my dog, dude.
Damn.
He sent me a voice memo today of him barking.
How long did I accidentally call you Meek?
Like six months.
Yeah.
He sent you a voice memo just barking?
No, just...
We were telepathically barking at each other
with the Karina cop thing.
He's hornier than you, isn't he?
Way hornier.
Oh, yeah.
I'd be publicly horny as a...
as a horny move.
What's his move?
He had to turn his Twitter likes off.
Did he?
Yeah.
But then he still can't help...
He retweets, like, porn stars.
I don't know.
What is the end goal with that?
Get some...
Get it.
Get the girl.
Does that get it?
No, I don't think so.
Who put this dog shit here?
He's a character.
Smoke showed me a girl.
We did the Clummer Rat Race,
and he was just puking the entire time, the poor kid.
I felt very bad.
We didn't really have to run that far either.
It's like less than a mile.
Rudy texted us that Meek Phil would vaporize if he saw Karina Kaufman in person.
And I think he would.
Oh, yeah.
It might be a nuclear reaction.
I think it would split the atom in his body.
Start a world war.
Oh, no. Well, he did a pretty good job with Lisa Ann. nuclear reaction. I think it would split the atom in his body. Start a world war. Oh no!
Well, he did a pretty good job
with Lisa Ann.
They had him talk to her
out and about. Yeah. And he was
doing good, I thought,
for me. He was smooth? Yeah.
They were talking about football players,
talking about fantasy draft.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't think he's too nervous.
Help me with who Karina Comfis.
She's like an online ass.
Just a professionally hot woman. Yeah.
She was famous because of David Dobrik.
I don't know if you know who that is.
He was the one that always smiled with his tongue.
Well, I got to see that.
Did he?
He was a super famous YouTuber.
He was a vlogger.
Yeah, a vlogger.
And he had this-
Super rich.
Him and all of his friends are called the Vlog Squad, and Corinna was part of that.
Okay.
And then she kind of branched off on her own and started streaming.
Good for her.
Yeah.
Is she a pretty good gamer?
Never watched.
The picture I tweeted today of her Instagram, if I didn't crop it correctly, it just would
have been a giant picture.
Her ass would have taken up the whole Twitter.
It kind of already still does.
It still does, yeah. Hell yeah. She's a great picture. Her ass would have taken up the whole Twitter. It kind of already still does. It still does, yeah.
Hell yeah. She's a great woman.
She's beautiful. You think she's funny?
Very.
Yep.
What the? Is that fake?
I don't know.
Is that fake? I am.
It doesn't look fake.
I gotta see if it's real.
I just assume everything's real.
Brando, please.
Alright, just relax.
Can someone hose me off? For a few hours.
If you can wait.
Please wait for me.
Wait a minute, but she's hosing herself off.
Well, I mean, she asked, so.
Can you show a butt on YouTube?
I feel like.
Or rumble?
Yeah, I think this is fine.
It's fine, it's fine. Of course I think this is fine. It's fine.
Of course you think it's fine.
So yesterday after work, I was going home.
I had some time to kill.
I stopped.
I got on the treadmill and I did two miles.
I was very proud of myself.
You ran?
I ran.
Where did you stop?
Where's the treadmill?
You stopped to run on the treadmill.
The classic side of the road treadmill.
Is that halfway home?
I was going home.
Every day I'm like, I don't have time to go to Anytime Fitness.
I don't have time to go to Anytime Fitness.
I don't have time.
But it's in the name.
Yesterday I had time to go to Anytime Fitness.
So I went.
I walked a mile at 16 pace.
And then I ran.25.
And then I walked another.75.
But then I did a bunch of air squats.
And I didn't feel anything.
And you have to show me after the show how to do them because I didn't feel anything.
Let me see what you're doing.
No, you'll feel it tomorrow.
Do it right now.
Please do it right now.
Tomorrow you will feel it, and you will hate your life.
Brandon, first of all, I'm proud of you, man.
Yeah, that's really impressive.
All right.
So shoulder length apart?
Yeah, it's pretty simple.
Don't overthink it.
Not shoulder length.
That would be real small.
Hands up?
Yeah, do whatever with your hands.
So I'll just put the squat.
Go down.
Yeah.
Look at that ass.
Was that too bad?
That's not bad.
That's a good squat.
Yeah.
Yeah, go back up.
Keep going.
And do, how many did you do in a row?
My eyes are burning.
So your goal is to do 100 straight?
No, I wanted to do 50 push-ups and 50 of those.
No, so your goal is you're going to try to get 100.
100 of those? But for now, you're going to go until you fail.
Until failure.
Until you can't go anymore.
Every time or just once?
Until you keep working up until you get to 100.
Okay, all right.
Just do it once a day.
And then I tried to do push-ups and my body wouldn't go down,
so I just plank for a minute.
What do you mean your body wouldn't go down?
Just don't worry about it.
Okay.
So, yeah, I'm trying.
Good for you.
Thank you.
Yeah, keep doing that.
Maybe KB should be your, like, personal trainer.
No, because I don't want to.
TJ is the inspiration between me and not wanting to be fat anymore.
Because he's not fat anymore.
Very not fat.
There's an opening for the new guy.
Our crew doesn't have it.
A fat guy?
We do need a new fatso.
You should go the other way.
We should do Barstool's next fatso.
And we go and we'll hire you.
The fattest fat?
Yeah, that should be Gak Idol this year.
Ah, there it is.
I want the winner to, like, have days left to live.
We'll hire him as a temp.
Why don't you apply in Hannah Cook's DMs?
Shirtless pixel.
Yeah, that's a good idea, man.
Listen to the graphic.
You think you have what it takes to be in Barstool's next fat fuck?
DM Hannah Cook.
I'm worried this will be too good of a competition a competition yeah that's too many entries right there
I just can't wait to watch them run the gauntlet
oh my god
did y'all see
did y'all see Dave wear Mintz's ass
out on Twitter today
no I haven't seen it yet
I saw the text
oh he wetted him out?
aired him out?
I don't know,
ring up Dave's tweet because Mintz told me
before the yak I was walking by him.
He said, hey, I'm available to talk on the yak
about what just happened.
All right, cool, cool, cool.
He's available?
Yeah, so Mintz is getting to me
and it's just, all Mintz did was ask,
you know, when do I need to do this?
You can give pics.
You must say hashtag DK partner all
the time. Got it. Same with blog
and Dave went the fuck off on it.
I can't read it. Because you can't
tweet. How many fucking times can I say the same
goddamn goddamn
thing to you? Yes, you fucking idiot. Whenever
you mentioned DK, you must include hashtag DK
partner. This is why I don't trust you. I've told
you this nine
quadrillion google times and uh
you still keep asking googleplex could very well be so yeah he really uh he really got after his
ass damn brendan do you skip over the brendan frazier episodes when you're watching scrubs
no i'm sad for no i need to feel him I need to feel him. I need to feel him.
Well, first of all, the first one's very, very good.
Sure.
And the second one is worth it just for that puppet scene where he's- Yeah, but when he's playing pool and his hand's still bleeding
and then the look that-
They know that something's very, very wrong.
Are you a big Brendan Fraser?
No, I'm just a big Scrubs guy.
And probably the number one most memorable episode of Scrubs
is when Brendan Fraser dies.
Oh, I didn't even know that he was on that show.
Probably two, maybe three episodes.
He's Jordan's son.
Oh, why was it so significant if he was only there for three episodes?
He's their best friend.
He's Dr. Cox's best friend.
Dr. Cox is the curmudgeonly doctor that is the mentor of JD.
Best part of the show.
Why do sitcoms do this?
I know.
Why not just be funny?
People kill for it.
Well, Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah, but Scrubs was in a hospital.
Scrubs would go from being very funny to very serious and like a staff.
But why do we need to do that?
Why not just be funny all the time?
I think most sitcoms try to do that.
Scrubs didn't.
Scrubs tried to.
No, no.
You want to add some emotion.
Futurama did Jurassic Bark.
The saddest episode.
I've heard that's the saddest one.
Whoa.
The sting is also very sad and it doesn't get nearly enough credit.
That's because of Jurassic Bark?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like you want to add some
emotional elements to your show
sometimes. Yeah.
Well, they do now. Like Full House
and back then, they would try to go with the campy route.
But like, there was never a Fresh
Prince at, well, yeah, there was. No, oh my god.
Fuck. Yeah, oh my god, the dad episode
is so sad. Or the episode where they
move out of the house. The finale?
Yeah. Should we mix in a sad episode?
Yeah, we should.
We could have done that today.
Didn't Jonathan Taylor Thomas learn about
mortality on Home Improvement?
Almost certainly he did. I don't want to die,
Dad. Oh, did he have a
cancer scare or something? Might have.
Come on, I just want to hear the noises, Tim.
Thank you, Titus.
I would buy a box
set of just the sounds.
Who was making the sounds?
I've never seen them.
Tim Allen.
You don't think they had a sound guy?
I don't think so, Tim.
Like a fill-in sound guy?
No way.
Tim Allen.
Who's the neighbor that never showed his face?
Wilson.
He's dead.
Is he?
Yeah.
Richard Karns.
Who?
Half open.
Just the lower half.
That would be funny.
Why did that noise become normal
on that show?
What was the situation where he made that sound?
I think he...
It was in the theme song.
He's the big dumb man prototype.
He was the father who...
His wife was the smart one.
He couldn't do anything on his own.
He's just a bumbling idiot of a father and husband.
And every so often he would be presented with a situation. He would just
make noises like a caveman
because he can't talk
because he's just a stupid man.
So he would just go
He's also very successful.
Very successful man.
In the show.
He's a celebrity.
He's a guy's guy.
I never watched Home Improvement.
I don't remember him ever making the noise, the first one, the uh?
Yeah, I just-
But he did go the uh?
He did that shit.
Uh?
You don't remember that?
I don't remember that one.
I remember that in the theme song, but in the show, he would be on his show, and he would-
Okay.
Oh, here's the good.
I was in a Camaro talking, and there could be big, bucket races sitting out there.
I would have, I would go, hollering holiday for the guys that said I tagged one time.
I go, oh, oh, oh, oh, no.
I don't want them hanging around guys like us.
Oh, you don't want to hang around guys like us.
This show might suck.
Yeah.
Was that his typical speaking voice throughout the show?
I was back to house that. Yeah. The show rules suck. Yeah. Was that his typical speaking voice throughout the show? I was back to ask that.
Yeah.
The show rules.
He talked about it.
It probably does suck, but it rules.
Yeah.
I remember the show existing, but I don't remember.
I watched the shit out.
Tuesday nights, man.
It was always on TV.
Oh, yeah.
I never took any of it in.
Yeah.
Uh-uh.
It would be on, but I don't remember any of it.
Monday nights back then were
for fresh prince tuesday was for home improvement and thursday was of course seinfeld and friends
and then all new episodes oh yeah yeah that's great tv yeah that it was it was great yeah
thursday nights on nbc were the best i feel like now we only have like sundays for hbo and like
that's yeah yeah i think you're right and everything else you just watch when you watch it
yeah the 90s fucking ruled it really did great tv shows we might be getting a
little too old for our audience yeah they're starting to not understand entire episodes
you think so i feel like i don't think so yet yeah i don't think so i think yesterday like some
of the names a lot of the names i think if if I can get what... We're specific to like 30 plus.
Oh, yes.
Steven Che as well, though.
I was getting death threats for not knowing who Vanna White was.
You should.
You don't know?
That's fair.
That's fair.
That's a tough one.
Really?
Yeah.
What about the rest of the late to mid early 90s?
You're a real piece of shit.
That's Vanna White.
She's an icon.
Yeah, I'm a mid 90s and I knew exactly who Vanna White was. She's just as known as... Is she Wheel of Fortune? Yeah, She's an icon. Yeah, I'm a mid-90s and I knew exactly who Vanna was.
She's just as known as
Wheel of Fortune? Yeah, she's the letter lady.
Yeah.
Who would you put
comparable fame to?
Scotty Tuhati. Jimmy Carter?
Probably.
I think Jimmy Carter's got her
but I would go
a vice president maybe.
Oh, I was thinking like a game show host or something.
Or like a Rob Dyrdek or something.
You were going to compare Vanna White to a game show host?
Rob Dyrdek's taking leaps.
Yeah, not even in the same house.
Whatever.
Is Vanna White more popular than Pat Sajak?
I'd say equal.
I don't know who Pat Sajak is.
He's the host of wheel of fortune
yeah well what is her like life like does she have any scandals no i think what no actually
she was like did she do playboy or want to do playboy in the 80s no idea like a contract
dispute too yeah i think in the 80s she gets paid as much as pat sajak now she was a lot more um
visible in the 80s and and tried to act and be in other stuff.
But then she just realized, you know what?
I can make $100 million just turning letters.
Does she have an autobiography?
Almost certainly.
It would be awesome if it was one letter.
No, no, no.
What do you think the name of her autobiography is?
Turning letters?
My Life Letter by Letter.
Oh, that's a good one.
Thank you.
I would love to name autobiographies for people.
All right.
TJ, does Vanna White have an autobiography? Maybe Turning the Page? That's a good one thank you i would love to name autobiographies for people all right uh tj uh does vanna white have an autobiography maybe turning the page that's pretty good that's a good
one i watched um like a tell-all about martha stewart and she actually has a lot of scandals
that like i didn't martha stewart she was in prison well the prison obviously but martha
stewart's husband and her got into a super, super messy divorce.
And Martha Stewart's husband cheated on her with a younger staff member of hers.
And she like physically assaulted him in public.
And he had to get a restraining order against her.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, Martha Stewart's crazy.
Yeah, I guess I wouldn't have expected that from Martha Stewart.
She's aging very well.
Oh, she's sexy.
Turns out Paula Deen had some shit too.
Oh, well, yeah. Huh. the prison oh she's she's sexy turns out paula dean had some shit too oh well yeah
i didn't mean just the prison thing she has like other stuff that like i never even knew
so she has a lot of books yeah but she doesn't have an autobiography these are all these are
like vanna's favorite gifts stuff she put her name on so people could sell books forwarded
vanna speaks vanna White with Bart Andrews.
That was way earlier.
Look how young she is.
Vanna White, wrapped in love.
She's out here selling.
Vanna's Afghans?
She was sexy as fuck.
Oh, Afghan rugs.
What do you think, people?
No, there's Afghan.
My top five Afghans.
The Afghan hound.
Vanna, I love your Afghans.
Hello.
Were you attracted to a young Hillary Clinton, Brandon?
No.
Hillary Clinton, even though they were, I guess that was what, 30, 32 years ago now.
She was never.
I was going to say.
She had a cute era.
She was never young enough to be attractive once she got famous.
I think her youngness was like like 10 20 years before she got
famous so she was always just old who was like your biggest childhood crush oh 12 years old it
was mariah carey oh what about your weirdest crush um i don't know that i had a weird one
it was just all i mean the sports illustrated swimsuit models every year were big time weird
man kathy are talking cartoon i feel like you have a weird cartoon.
Weird cartoon one?
Yeah, it was Debbie Thornberry.
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah.
I like Danny Phantom.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Cartoons are tough ones to try to justify to people and be like, no, you don't get it.
No, but I feel like you think it's weird, but everybody actually feels the same way. way you know like you think you're kind of a weirdo betty boop uh jessica rabbit
yeah um the lion from lion king simba uh all the totally spies oh totally spies yeah that's
white socks dave was nala right white socks dave but that she gave that look that fuck you when she was in the ferns yeah in Lion King 2 not Simba has a son he's hot Simba's son is hot in Lion King yeah
Kovu I think his name is yeah yeah Nala had fuck me eyes yeah oh yeah that was this has been a
barstool this is this is up there with pizza reviews about everybody's talk about the Nala
fuck me eyes you don't know the Nala fuck me eyes more?
No, I know Pete Davidson butthole eyes.
Oh, yeah.
So us.
There you go.
I get it.
I mean, he's kind of right.
You get it?
Yeah.
She's a baddie.
The Barstool Sports tailgate in the Midway at Daytona International Speedway tomorrow, February 17th.
I think the boys are already on the way.
Hopefully this doesn't activate my arachnophobia.
But anyways, continue.
The Barstool tailgate will feature Spider and Lard.
Ah!
The Barstool tailgate will feature spider and large
from providence racing kfc and fights from kfc radio and joey and pat from out and about
the daytona 500 grand marshal will be dwayne the rock johnson a pitbull will be given a pre-race
concert you can watch chase elliott ryan blaney denny hamlin r, Chastain, Bubba Wallace, and more on the Daytona 500 at 2.30 p.m.
February 18th on Fox.
That's Sunday, 2.30 p.m. on Fox.
It's the most iconic race in motorsports.
They'll go 500 miles, which is 200 laps on the two-and-a-half-mile-long track.
Once again, the Daytona 500, the most iconic race in motorsports, is finally here.
Tune in Sunday, February 18th, 2.30 p.m. on Fox.
Someone just tweeted at me when I said earlier the white chocolate thing.
Yeah.
It's a Philip Seymour Hoffman said that in Along Came Polly.
Is that where he shoots the ball?
Yes.
Yeah.
And he says, white chocolate.
Oh, yeah.
White chicks, white chocolate.
He also says it in white chicks, right?
Somebody says it in white chicks.
Yeah, right?
That's what I thought.
You don't want it to melt.
Right, yes.
Who was doing that?
Easy white chocolate.
You don't want it to melt.
What is that? That's what's his face in
Terry Crews. Oh, so it was. Yes, yes, yes.
This is a movie quote. Okay, yes.
Okay, thank you, Zah.
Zah, you knew that the whole time?
I said it for the first time around. Oh, sorry. Okay, yes. Okay. Thank you, Zah. Zah, you knew that the whole time? I said it for the first time around.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, sorry.
All right, that's us.
He did.
But we just assumed he was talking about something else.
Oh, shit.
I didn't hear it at all.
Is that?
No, that's not Jerry.
That's the guy that brought us our food today.
I was seeing him in the reflection.
He looks like Jerry, but he brought our tacos.
He's doing a food thing with Donnie's.
Oh, is he coming in?
Oh, he's bringing us.
Oh, yes.
Donnie.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Donnie.
He's got this gooned up sweatshirt on.
Al Pastor Rangoon.
Holy shit.
Al Pastor Rangoon.
Bring him over here.
Yummy.
Thanks.
All right.
Kyle?
I think there's five right there.
So choose the five best yakkers. Yummy. Thanks. All right. Kyle? I think there's five right there. So choose the five best
Oh, thanks.
Just take a rangoon, Gia. Don't take the fucking plate.
I was going to pass it to Nick.
That's a dietary restriction.
I also cannot.
You cannot? There's three left.
You have two.
Kyle, can you pass this down to my friend
Mook?
Do you guys know what goes in al pastor?
Yes, al pastor is pork.
Chicken.
No, it's pork.
Pork.
Pork, I had it right.
Okay.
Because he didn't confirm it when I said it.
He just looked at me.
I love al pastor.
Yeah, this is the best.
Wow.
There you go. Thank you. There you go, Gio. Thanks, Brandon. the best. Mmm. Wow. Mmm.
There you go.
Thank you.
There you go, Gio.
Thanks, Brandon.
Thank you so much. No, it's good.
No, it's great every time, yeah.
And you guys just did this.
Thank you so much.
This is amazing.
Seriously, so delicious.
Antique taco?
Antique taco.
Oh, my God.
What's your name?
Rick.
Rick?
Awesome.
Rick Ortiz.
Thank you so much, Rick.
These are delicious. Did you cook with Donnie? Rick. Rick? Awesome. Rick Ortiz. Thank you so much, Rick. These are delicious.
Did you cook with Donnie?
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Yeah, that's amazing.
Best thing I've had in a while.
Is that a stupid question?
Thanks, guys.
I just asked it.
It's okay.
It's all right.
No, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
This is delicious.
We fucking blew the fucking review
Our cameo
We were all just weird
It's good
We're not gonna be on that video
No no they're cutting that out
We're cutting that out
We were natural at all
It's phenomenal
But I
I never know how to review food
Are we doing the gauntlet?
Yeah
Are we doing the gauntlet?
Is Malasek here?
Oh yeah we should
We have
Or you should
I would love to
Liam Blutman You've to liam blutman
you've done it liam blutman well up to me and he was like i think people should start doing it
backwards i would like to try to have liam try if we have time i would like to redo my score
but if we don't it's totally fine yeah just saying i mean that's a good number gia would
like to redo her already good score why is connor in shorts but why not get better
fair connor's in shorts because he has Fair. And what if you beat me?
I sure hope so.
Why? Because I'm a girl?
Yes. I don't think I could live that down.
Oh, come on.
It's not a big deal.
But as long as I can beat Jeff D. Lowe,
like...
If you can't.
If I can't,
I don't think I'll ever watch the act.
You should just not show your face ever again.
Yeah, no, I'm just going to quit wrestling.
I will quit watching the act.
It's over for me.
Who was wearing a cape?
Was that Tim?
Steve.
Tim Woods.
Tim Woods, yeah.
Oh, that episode came out, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dungeons and Dragons out today.
We really honed in, focused, and completed the mission on this one.
I believe that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long was it?
Two?
I think it's like two and a half hours.
Two and a half?
Damn.
Two and a half.
Connor, is Malzak here?
Yes.
Yeah, I saw him earlier.
Oh, really?
I haven't seen him today.
He was sitting in the gambling.
Oh, that's right.
He has to be here because we do quick picks as soon as the show's over,
and he's the producer of it.
So not like Che has shown up for most of that show. Yeah. He was sitting in the gambling. Oh, that's right. He has to be here because we do Quick Picks as soon as the show's over, and he's the producer of it.
Not like Che has shown up for most of that show.
Yeah.
What?
Is he not here today?
He's not here today.
How many episodes has it been?
Today is the fifth episode.
And Che's been for how many? It'll be the second one he's missed.
Oh.
He missed Tuesday, and he's missing today,
which I don't really get into the missing episodes thing,
but the show was his idea.
Quick Picks?
Yeah.
Also, not to bring gambling or another show into this show, but we haven't missed.
Hey, you guys are hot.
Five episodes.
Today will be the fifth episode.
Neither me, nor Che, nor Megan has lost a pick yet.
So you guys all just give a pick and hop off?
It's quick picks.
One pick.
We give our best pick.
Welcome back to Quick Picks, the only show that could be a tweet
damn nikki with more resources it ain't the only show that could be a tweet that's true
we got several of them
sorry pal
but you guys tweet it out after yeah oh cool cool good premise good premise it's just you
know telling everybody our best hey it's been a fun time so far been a fun time
oh what's good with your recliner? It's huge.
We're doing that on Mondays, Mostly Sports, but I'd ask for a recliner.
You've been wanting a recliner for three years now?
The very first concept of the Mostly Sports studio,
you remember you guys did Industrial Beach and whatever came together.
But our first concept, I was like,
I just want two dudes in a recliner talking sports.
And that became Brandon wants one recliner talking sports and that became brandon wants one recliner for for brandon and that was
we opened this office in september october november we opened this office in november
october and it is february 16th my recliner arrived today and it is uh not large not a big
recliner not a big recliner not a not not a recliner at all really i wouldn't
categorize it as a it's a small small chair that's it's a small chair i'm um if i took it to tommy
and gave it to him for his birthday he would complain that i bought him a tiny chair a tiny
chair yeah it's a small chair for me it's a chair when when it got brought in and they were talking
about it i assumed it was like an absurdly sized massive like yeah reclining no page brought in
one-handed yeah that was yeah like a pizza yeah here's yeah you want this yeah here's your all
right so you're gonna do it. You want me to go first?
How many people are doing it?
We got.
Yeah.
I think you're the only one doing it.
Yeah.
Unless we're going to grant Gia a second run.
Wait.
Do people not usually get to redo their score or no?
I thought that that was a thing.
That's a thing for us, but not really outsiders.
But if you would like to redo your score.
But only if you think you'll beat it. Well, Blutman has a score... Only if you think you'll beat it.
Well, Blutman has a...
I mean, I think I'll beat it. I don't know.
I hope I beat it.
You've got a good time.
I know, but I feel like I could have done better.
Alright, you'll do it.
Okay, I don't have to do it.
No, you're going to do it.
No, I'm not doing it.
Blutman came up to me yesterday with an idea that would rock you to your core.
I just want to do it backwards.
I didn't think it was that zany.
He wants to do it backwards.
I couldn't even fathom that.
But you have to do trivia last.
Yeah, that's the plan.
No, that's not backwards, though.
But the whole point of the trivia is like you're out of breath.
Is it backwards or jumbled, Blutman?
Backwards or jumbled?
It's a wee bit jumbled.
Start there with the three, then go that three, then the, you know.
Is this a strategic thing or just experiment?
No, just we've done it a million times. And, I mean, the luster has been lost on a few runs.
I'll tell you what, Blutman.
Yeah, you're right.
We're going to let you do it the way you want to do it.
You want to do it backwards?
Your way.
Some are saying I already did that and I'm in third to last.
Well, it couldn't be worse.
That's true.
You want to start with the basketballs, then you go football,
then you go wiffle ball, then soccer, then bags, then sparkle.
Mantis style.
Do you feel like this is too fucking crazy?
No, I don't think it was that out there at all the
way you shoot the basketball is probably going to be weird right you're going to try like a half
course i'm not gonna predict what i all right what orders you're you're you're last last what
to go okay unless you want to go now get up not really you're up Gia first Malasek get ready
she's the only woman on the graphic
she's the only woman that's ever done it
I think so
Madeline wants to do it and I think Stephanie wants to do it
Stephanie would be good
Gia was good
I don't know why Gia has a perfectly fine time
but she's competitive and she wants to beat herself
got it
you know what time you need to beat?
2.50
how was Malasek in goal when Gia did it her first time?
Probably like a little.
It was the first day we did it.
It was like the first episode we did it on.
Yeah, because she beat me.
Destroyed me.
And others.
Way to go, Malasek.
All right.
Start whatever.
No, I'll tell you when to start.
Put those bags down.
Okay. Here we go. TJ, I'll tell you when to start. Put those bags down. Okay.
Here we go.
TJ, you got the clock?
You ready?
Yep.
Not you.
Yep.
Yep, you.
All right.
Gia, you ready?
Yep.
Three, two, one, go.
All right.
She's got the bags, and we are.
Oh, no.
It's a disaster.
Oh, no.
Yeah, it's over. Implosion. In, no. It's a disaster. Oh, no. Yeah. It's over.
Implosion.
In.
In.
Soccer.
All right.
Malicex ready.
Oh, nice.
Wow.
Wiffle ball.
Simp.
Oh, shit.
Oh, that's a home run.
That's a home run.
Football.
All right.
What's.
A little high.
Bring it down.
Still not even at 30.
Doing great.
That's better.
Oh, boy.
What in the fuck?
I am a fool for going second.
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
Please be big.
Oh, my God.
Oh, this is going to trip her up.
Oh, thank God.
She was doing so well.
All right.
Just make a couple shots. There you go. There's one. Go was doing so well. Alright, just make a couple shots.
There you go.
Go, go, go.
You're saying thank God you're safe?
You ain't safe?
Oh my God!
Right here, right here, right here.
Alright, one voice actor for Chef in South Park.
Two singers of Dick in a Box on SNL.
Five bird teams, NFL.
Oh, Brothers,
Star Wars,
Revenge of the Sith.
Okay. Five bird
teams in the NFL. Eagles, Ravens, Falcons.
Eagles, Ravens, Falcons.
Seahawks.
Okay. Thor.
Thor, Love and Thunder.
Might just be one per...
Black Swan.
No Strings Attached.
Toucan.
Bear.
T-O-U-C-A-N. T-O-U-C-A-N.
T-O-U-C-A-N.
Bear.
Bunny.
Cheetah.
Oh, shit.
Unreal.
That's five.
Unreal.
I'm voting!
Yep.
I'm speechless.
Wow.
Wow.
She called her fucking shot. Yeah, she did. Wow. That'm speechless. Wow. Wow.
She called her fucking shot.
Yeah, she did.
Wow.
That was bold.
I was really nervous.
You guys have no idea how nervous all day I've been.
Wow, Gia.
I cried. Super impressive.
Thank you.
All the way through.
That was insane.
I mean, you're not going to touch that.
Nope.
Nope.
Wait, second place?
Yeah.
By almost a minute.
Holy shit.
Top G.
That was, like, I thought the basketball was like, okay,
like now we're coming back down to earth a little bit.
And then she just nailed the second three.
How were you so confident?
In what?
All of it.
That you were going to do this.
Well, I mean.
Oh, wow.
I was most nervous about soccer because last time I did it,
Jake was super tough.
And somehow I got on the first try, which I was not expecting.
We do suspect Jake.
What happened?
Taking a dive.
I kind of faked him out a little bit.
Why did I see a printout of that sporkle on your desk this morning?
Oh, shut up.
All right, Vite, get up.
Fantastic work.
Thank you.
Does anybody want to break?
The high noon's in my stomach.
I thought I was going to puke.
Does anybody want to break anything on his head?
Can we?
Probably.
I would like to break something on his head.
I'm out of breath.
Can somebody hit you with that wiffle ball bat as hard as they can?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I think you could.
I saw something like, I want you to do that.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to do it.
You want to do it.
Everybody's like, I kind of want to see it, but I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it.
Yeah, I'd feel weird.
All right, TJ, you ready?
Yep. Oren, you ready? Yep. Orin, you ready?
No.
You got this.
He might not.
We don't know.
All right, three, two, one, go.
All right, bags.
Oh, he's a hard tosser.
Yeah, he's a hard tosser.
Oh, no movement on the bags.
Oh, he's just rolling right over. Oh, no movement on the bags.
He's just rolling right over the hole.
Panic has set in. That's it.
Yeah, right there.
Oh no.
Looks easy when you're just watching, huh?
Panic.
Panic.
Oh my god.
Bagless.
Gio was at basketball.
Actually, yeah.
All right.
There we go.
That looks good.
There we go.
Soccer, soccer, soccer.
All right.
How hard is it?
Guys, I think I'm sick.
Oh, what?
What?
Alisak is.
Jesus, Alisak.
Kicked it right up his.
Nick, I'm not going to lie.
I feel like dog shit. Yeah. This was what he was worried. Jesus. Kicked it right up his. Nick, I'm not going to lie. I feel like dog shit.
Yeah.
This was what he was worried.
Oh.
Motherfucker.
I hit my shoe.
That looked like a home run.
Football, football, football.
Behind you.
Oh.
Oh, he's got a good.
Yeah.
Got a good little arm there.
His time's fine.
It's just the Gia kind of fucked it up for everybody.
He said he can shoot,
but he might not be able to shoot.
He could still beat me.
No? No.
No. It would be very hard.
Oh.
Oh.
He might D-low.
Oh.
He's sending missiles into the kitchen.
Imagine if you could if we did this first.
Somebody.
I couldn't.
Somebody go staple his nuts to his thigh.
That'll give him some energy.
How does that happen in wrestling?
It's just like a guy comes out with a stapler.
Yeah.
That's not intimidating.
Oh, God.
And they'll just staple
each other's heads there's one all right now you got to hit it quick gia's already beating you by
the way oh come on warren oh boy he does do the d low stance on the jumper. There we go.
All right.
There we go.
That's something you want to do.
All right.
One father of Kane and Undertaker.
Five starters for Toon Squad and Space Jam.
Paul Bearer.
Okay.
Eight live-action Star Trek TV shows.
Ten colleges following athletes attended.
Steph Curry, Patrick Ewing, Damian Lillard, Grant Hill.
Davidson.
Davidson. Your mic's behind you, Grant Hill. Davidson. Davidson.
Your mic's behind you.
Your mic.
Davidson.
Davidson.
Patrick Ewing.
Oh, Taylor Swift's new album.
Grant Hill.
Kaitlyn Clark.
Kaitlyn Clark.
Kaitlyn Clark.
Oh, Iowa.
Eli Manning, Ole Miss.
Florida.
Tom Brady.
Just say Mississippi.
Oh, iced tea and lemonade and vendors.
Brady was Michigan.
Sports guy.
Barry Bonds.
Anything?
No.
Bonds didn't go to college.
Yeah, he did Arizona.
Inventors of iced tea and lemonade.
Six top-selling NES games.
Mario.
That's going to be good.
Tetris.
That'll work.
Stephanie, do you want to go?
Super Mario.
Stephanie, you've always wanted to do it.
Brothers.
Do you want to use a broomstick?
Five starters.
Super Mario Brothers 3.
Star Trek The Next Generation.
There you go.
All right.
Not a bad time.
That's not a bad time.
Not a bad time.
That's fine.
It's hard.
Basketball.
Yeah.
The basketball part, you get form, and then you lose it instantly.
It's so easy to lose morale.
Because you're just stressed.
Yeah.
It's cortisol. What's your walkout song tonight? Friends of're just stressed. Yeah, it's cortisol.
What's your walkout song tonight?
Friends in Low Places, Garth Brooks.
Nice.
I got friends in low places.
I think I'm the only person with country music as their...
Yeah, it's not really that...
It's usually like Screamo.
I wanted to bring this up in front of Julio,
but Nick, when you did Pittsburgh in stand-up,
came out to the National Anthem. National Anthem anthem there and then i did iphone alarm here and
which is a sicko move yeah people were pissed yeah people were audibly i'm never going to have a
normal uh walk out what man no one else is going okay it's all you king two people went yeah we
did i yeah i when i heard last I was envisioning last in the room.
Can someone else please do it backwards, though?
I'll do it backwards right now.
Well, no.
Well, no.
It's your idea.
You have to do it.
Yeah, you're the pioneer here.
It's your way, Blutt.
So he's starting with basketball?
Is that what he's doing?
Yeah, he's starting with three-pointers.
Basketball.
Where's he going, then? Basketball, basketball. He's-pointers. Basketball. Where's he going, then?
Basketball, basketball.
He's going backwards, backwards, man.
Where's he going?
At this hoop.
Well, he needs the basketball.
Take everything you know and fucking forget it.
His way.
All right.
The chat, by the way, is begging for Stephanie to run the gauntlet.
Oh, God.
Jesus.
Stephanie!
She's behind me.
Ask him.
Oh.
All right.
Liam, you ready?
He's so excited.
So very, very excited.
Okay, TJ, you ready?
Yep.
Three, two, one, go.
All right, he's blistering.
What are you doing?
Other side.
Shut up.
No, it's his way.
Have you guys been to Liam's place?
No.
It's like a wooden teepee in 100-acre wood.
I picture him in like Hagrid's house in Harry Potter.
It's just like that.
All right.
It's his way.
His way.
Go, Blutman.
All right.
You have to at least try.
He is.
This is his way.
He's playing the analytics.
Right.
That looks better.
No, that looked worse.
Wet.
Get it.
All right.
All right.
Now.
Oh, he's doing it backwards.
Oh, he's going backwards.
Yeah.
Wait.
He got the top one!
Count it! Count it! Count it!
Yeah. Unreal.
What'd he do?
He hit the top one!
Legend, dude.
Oh, god!
He threw it his way!
How did I not see this coming?
He threw it his way
what's he doing he's just easing
juke him out Liam
volume shooter
nice move Liam
there he comes
he didn't hit the bottle did he
no I think if Cornhole he has to put his hand through the hole
and throw it into the pile
Cornhole
Cornhole
Cornhole
hand up my bad
what the fuck
do it in his face
alright
his way
13 MLS teams with FC in their name
4 colors of a standard roulette table
2 countries to border UAE
5 alter egos for Kyrie Irving
Penny Hardaway
not the Flintropics
6 cuts of steak offered at Outback Steakhouse for Kyrie Irving, Penny Hardaway. Not the Flintropics.
Six cuts of steak offered at Outback Steakhouse.
This is not a great board.
Eight best Michael Bay directed movies. Cuts of steak.
Cuts of steak.
Cuts of steak, yeah.
I am not a steak guy.
Just name a steak.
Don't know.
I'm saying.
Is there a story behind that?
I highly doubt they have wag you at Outback.
Oh my God, that's so funny.
Michael Bay directed movies.
Lost me there.
13 M.O.S.T.
Really lost me there.
This would have been so much better if I had the
colors on the roulette table.
Oh, red and black.
Yeah, the writer of Great Expectations.
Is light on the roulette table?
Titus had diarrhea.
What's Deion Sanders' nickname?
Primetime.
I did not see that.
Where's that?
That's in the top right.
Larry Johnson.
Larry Johnson.
Why is that not taken?
Maybe primetime's one word?
I don't.
Prime?
Not his nickname.
Coach Prime?
That category might be bad.
Oh, Leon Sandcastle.
I doubt it's Leon Sandcastle.
That's not his name at all.
It was a commercial from 15 years ago.
It's Alter Ego, not nickname.
What was Chris Paul's name in State Farm?
Cliff Paul.
Cliff Paul.
There you go.
The other ones I'm not getting.
Larry Johnson.
I don't know what his is.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know what that is.
He wouldn't know, though.
13 MLMs.
Oh, Kyrie Irving's movie.
The movie Kyrie Irving did.
Yeah.
That was a good one, wasn't it?
You know it.
No, I don't.
Damn, you might be an infinite time.
Do you know the name of the Knight Rider car?
Come on.
No.
Can we help you at this point?
Yes.
Transformers.
From Benchwarmers, Kip the Knight Rider.
Maybe.
No.
Not at all.
Yeah, maybe close.
Maybe Kit.
Kit, yes.
I got that because of Benchwarmers.
What about, can we help you, Liam?
Do Jordan? No, does Jordan border?
No.
Dubai.
Great expectations.
I don't know what any of that is.
This was not a good board for me.
Who hosted The Tonight Show?
Yeah, yeah.
America's Next Top Model.
Who hosted Survivor?
Who hosted Survivor?
Where are you seeing this? Okay. eight original hosts of the following shows some of these things you guys will know but he
won't all right i know but i'm trying to be there no deal howie mandel my godfather there we go so
what what what what did you say put a pin in that and then where's nick got duped? Got duped. We got duped. Yeah, that was stupid of us.
America's Next Top Model.
Yep.
I think some of the soccer teams are just the city, right?
With FC.
Los Angeles FC.
I think that's the one that's not it.
Oh, fuck.
Miami FC.
Sure.
Nope.
I don't think that's right.
What?
No.
They're inter. Oh, shit. Oh, New York. cause it's no yeah they're inter
oh shit
oh New York
FC New York
or there's another
Liam where'd you go
ran out of all the
soccer teams I know
I don't want to answer
that
did you just name
a cut of steak
I didn't
that one
think of more
steak terms
there you go
uh
is that
yeah
rib eye prime rib strip.
541.
You saved yourself.
I mean, that was the worst board I could have gotten.
How do you not know filet mignon?
Because I don't like steak.
I don't think of steaks.
He doesn't think of steak.
Liam's grocery runs do not include steak.
That's going to be.
We're just going to let him.
That's still not the worst time, though.
What about the fact that he said
Howie Mandela is his godfather?
Yeah.
And we just glossed over that.
I thought people knew that.
Type male.
That's Liam backwards.
Yeah.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
It is.
That'll confuse us tomorrow.
Yep. Ple pleased with the run
unpleased with the trivia board but that's out of my
control yeah everything I could
control I did control can't predict
unpredictability you can control the trivia
new Miss Peaches video just dropped if anyone
was wondering you could have got those right
there were a lot yeah
your trip your dozen stock is plummeting, Liam.
Good, because I don't know what any of that was.
I'm worried.
I'm not going to get so many of those.
He was the number one free agent.
Is he still?
I don't know.
No.
I would sure hope I'm not either.
Those are high expectations.
I'm not going to be able to hit.
Great expectations, as written by Charles Dickens.
I don't know why I'm supposed to know what that is. You went to school. I went to school. I'm not going to be able to hit. Great Expectations as written by Charles Dickens. I don't know why I'm supposed to know what that is.
You went to school.
I went to school.
I dropped out of JUCO.
What's JUCO?
He's got us there.
Junior college.
TJ, you want to spin the wheel?
I got friends in the world.
It'll be stuck in your head.
The poor trivia did overshadow some of the
highlights.
I mean, what about the 101 highlights?
You knocked a bottle down.
I don't know what they had.
I'm the best trick shotter in the office.
It was confirmed today.
I mean, that was a beautiful run.
You think that's going to get you employee of the day?
I hope not.
What up, Min yep oh real quick what real quick mincy just real just real quick just
real quick yeah well i got i got like one or two quick things first of all anybody that wants to
see me crowd surf for the first time in my entire life i've been asked to crowd surf at the andy
frasco concert at metro and i immediately accepted. Fantastic. So it's all
he asked me two years ago when I was about
30 or 40 pounds bigger and I had a lot of anxiety
and didn't feel good about it. This time
new day baby. So you're at a
constant battle against pants
are you afraid that your butthole is going to
pop out? I just don't have an ass dude
it's so messed up dude. I do squats
I don't understand it.
Is there a chance that your pants fall?
Yeah, it doesn't exist.
I don't understand.
Well, I mean, dude, a lot of my pants are too big for me now.
Yeah.
So you've got to prep.
I need a pants tank.
You need glue.
You need a glue.
I need like a pants assist.
I think you just need a pants assist.
Wear a belt.
Wear a belt, Mince.
He needs a pants assist.
Like the hold me back. No, for the concert. I always wear a pants assist. Wear a belt. Wear a belt, Mince. He needs a pants assist. Like the hold me back.
No, for the concert.
I always wear a belt.
Before the concert, I think you need to glue your pants to your waist.
What was the second thing?
I don't know.
Okay.
Second thing, actually, no, no.
Second thing is I'll be using the hashtag DKPartner a lot.
So you're crowd surfing.
The musician asked you to do it?
Yeah.
Is it like a performance mid-show?
Yeah.
Andy Frasco is a true one-of-one.
He always, he like every show
crowd surfs from the stage to the bar.
Has he ever been on a barstool show?
Yeah, he has.
Which one was he on?
He's made an appearance.
He's actually been a barstool backstage.
Oh, that's who it is? The guy in the background appearance he's actually been a barstool oh that's who it is in the background he's actually been a barstool backstage i've never seen somebody
jump out of frame quick but it's gonna be fun uh there's still like we got a big we got a few big
group of us going anybody there's still some tickets available you'll come dwight socks
dave's going too but come hang out with this metro tomorrow night big show it's gonna be
i guarantee quite a large time are Dante's going. Are you crowds?
Are you diving in?
Yeah?
What is that?
Does that answer your question,
Dickhead?
Something I would do.
Oh, shit.
Hell yeah, man.
It's going to be a great Saturday.
Glue them pants.
You got to glue the pants.
Are you crying?
Hit it.
I want to ask him about tennis.
Come back.
Come back real quick.
Pockets out like he just slid in his second base.
All right, Mitzi, go back over to Tyson's mic.
Mitzi, I have a question for you.
What is your tennis acumen?
It's pretty damn good.
I was like top 25 in Louisiana when I was 16,
and we won state in my senior high school.
I have like a good kick serve and a good forehand.
How often do you play?
Is kick serve a thing? I have not played since uh 2020 or 2021 but i bet i'm pretty good right now
even not playing i'm moving yeah we're gonna have to i have to see this sometime i have to what's
your what's your rating uh i think i'm like when i'm best i'd be a three five when i was good i'm
between the three i'm in a three five okay all right 3-5. Okay. I'm a 3-5 guy.
Oh, you are?
Yeah, I went to a tennis academy.
Wow. I didn't do that.
Shake that ass for me.
Shake that ass for me. Go, Mincy.
Hey, go, Mincy. Hey, go, Mincy.
Oh, pull up the pants, Mincy.
All right, all right.
Let's hang a week dry.
Oh, oh. What is happening? What the heck? Too much, all right. Let's end the week dry. Oh, what just happened?
What the heck?
Too much, Mincy.
What the heck?
Keep it going.
Keep it going.
Too high up.
Mincy, they're too high up.
But you did just end that interview without an important hashtag.
There we go.
Okay.
Good performance.
Breathtaking performance.
Those dance moves were incredible.
He walked by before we did the gauntlet, too.
He's been wanting to troll it. I wish I had a third of that gauntlet.
A lot in the water.
Yeah.
All right, let's spin the wheel.
That's crazy.
That was insane.
I love that.
Every second of that.
Nice.
Slave.
There you go.
All right.
We will be here Monday, President's Day.
Big Cat will be back on Tuesday, but we'll be here Monday.
Thank you, Oren.
Thank you.
Thank you, Oren. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks you, Oren. Thank you. Thanks for having me, guys.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks, Oren.
Thanks for having me, guys.
We'll be back.
That's the act.
Yay.
Yay.
Oy.
Oh.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Get your stride, get style, and take for a while. It's the act. It's the act.