The Yak - Nick is Becoming an Alum of Every College in America | The Yak 6-25-24

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

The rat trap might be a bust...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolya...k

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Welcome to the Yak. Titus' birthday. It's Titus' birthday. Yep.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Happy birthday, Titus. Happy birthday, Mark. Is he here? Somewhere. It would have been funny as fuck if he was butt-ass naked. Roback.com. Best hoodies, polos, shorts, swim shorts. Don't tell me you're going to forget the fleeces. Wait, I thought it was Q-Zips.
Starting point is 00:00:55 You're a fleece guy now? Yeah. We don't do fleeces in June, do we? New logo. I will. I do. You're a fleece guy? Look at his body.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Look at the torse. Yeah, we cover up, boy. Yeah, yeah. Roback.com. Use code his body. Look at the torso. Yeah, we cover up, boy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Roback.com. Use code YAK. 20% off everything. Roback.com.
Starting point is 00:01:10 It's Puck Puck. Fucking there is one, baby. Real quick. Did you guys watch? Where are you going? What are you doing? Knows every state. You know them all?
Starting point is 00:01:18 You know them all? As he should. All right. Start at the Pacific Northwest. I will be impressed if you do know them all. Ready? Yeah. You want us to say it? Go. Run through all of them. Run through all of them. Run through all of them. Start at the Pacific Northwest. I will be impressed if you do know them all. Ready? Yeah. You want us to say or go?
Starting point is 00:01:25 Run through all of them. Run through all of them. Washington. Yep. Oregon. Yeah. California. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Nevada. Yep. Arizona. Uh-huh. New Mexico. Yes. Perfect so far. Idaho.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Yep. Montana. Beauty. Wyoming. Uh-huh. Utah. Yes. Colorado.
Starting point is 00:01:43 My man. North Dakota, South Dakota Nebraska, Kansas Oklahoma, Texas Minnesota, Iowa Missouri, Arkansas Louisiana Mississippi
Starting point is 00:02:00 Alabama Georgia, Florida We're going to go up here We're going to go Wisconsin Mississippi, Alabama. Okay. My fingers are going so tight. Georgia, Florida. Yep. We're going to go up here. Yeah. We're going to go Wisconsin. Yeah. Illinois.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Why don't you skip some? Indiana. You haven't done that middle row yet. Please. Which one? That one. The middle row. I did the middle row.
Starting point is 00:02:19 No, the one to the right of that. You skipped that whole row. Minnesota. Yes. Iowa. Yeah. Missouri. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:02:25 What? He's right. From the top? Minnesota? Oh. Iowa? Yeah, yeah. Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Yeah. Okay. I was here, Michigan. Uh-huh. Go down here. Okay. But it's not funny if you get them all right. It's funny if you miss a bunch.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah. So what the fuck happened yesterday? He learned them last night. He learned them last night. That's impressive. Finish the job. Well, the rest of them are labeled. Virginia.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Oh, God. No! That's good. That's what the people are like. You listened. The man can't beat the syndrome allegations. South Carolina. Get out.
Starting point is 00:03:04 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And you finally showed up with a band-aid on your owie. Yeah, I got Encanto on my knee. Nice. Yeah, it looks like
Starting point is 00:03:17 it's peeling up on the sides. Yep, it is. I haven't put a bandage on a booboo in a long ass time. I haven't had a band-aid in a minute either. When was the last time you used guys? I think I had a bandaid in a minute. When was the last time you used gauze?
Starting point is 00:03:27 I think I had a wisdom tooth taken out. Last time I needed to talk to a 19 year old girl. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, you said gauze. What did you say? Nothing. Titus, happy birthday. And when was the last time you needed to talk to a 19 year old girl? Last time I was ordering a Subway sandwich
Starting point is 00:03:44 probably. Oh, thank you. The only time I talk to a kid-year-old. Last time I was ordering a Subway sandwich, probably. Oh, thank you, Nick. Thank you. The only time I talk to a kid is when you bring your kid. I don't know what the fuck is up with kids. I don't have a clue. I don't know what the popular toy is. I don't know what they like.
Starting point is 00:03:56 I don't know what they're watching. They just like YouTube. That's it. YouTube and Roblox. Yeah. I got five nieces and nephews, and the oldest is now getting to an age where my playbook is no longer working. Yeah. And she's, like, turning into an actual human being.
Starting point is 00:04:13 What was the playbook? Just farts. Yeah. Yeah. Just stinky butt. Your butt stinks. You have poop in your butt. And she's like, no, no.
Starting point is 00:04:23 And then I love Uncle Mark he's so funny I love poop and then now I see her and I'm like what's up poopy butt and she's like no come on
Starting point is 00:04:31 no that's immature what eyeliner did you get me for my birthday yeah right and it's tough it's tough I don't know how to speak to
Starting point is 00:04:38 you said Roblox is popular yeah isn't that like the graphics are like it's bad right it's like Minecraft yeah but why what is it it's like a it's like community are like, it's bad, right? It's like Minecraft. Yeah. But what is it?
Starting point is 00:04:46 It's like a community game? It's peer-to-peer. It's online. Okay. You can get on. They can play with their friends in Mississippi. Your kids playing Roblox? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:55 I got a lot of Roblox players. I spend a lot of money on Robux. What's the conversion rate? I don't know, but I probably spend $40 a day on Robux. Wow. Jesus Christ, Brad. A day? Yeah. Yeah. version rate i don't know but i probably spend 40 bucks a day on robux wow jesus christ a day yeah yeah that's it that's right you gotta tell them no yeah dude say no and this is every day or this is like 40 bucks a day being a kid getting 40 worth of something every day is that's maybe not every day but a lot what does that even mean that's 29 000 roblox
Starting point is 00:05:28 robux robux yeah that's 14 600 a year do you see what i'm probably not doing that i probably overshot it then they're like in like are they in like the elite they have to don't know i never check some type of cabal i never check whenever i go home and tommy's playing video games the only ones he'll play with me he'll play punch out with me to make me happy and then he he always wants me to play cuphead it's hard because cuphead's impossible hard game and and you can't play it and he always laughs at me when i die immediately so that's the only two i really share an experience with him. Now, my middle son texted me last week, says, Dad, can I get this? And it is the golf extension for the Oculus.
Starting point is 00:06:13 It's the golf club. Yeah, I have that. So I'm excited about that because that means he's playing VR golf. That's nice, unless he's putt-putting. I don't think he is. Got to keep an eye on that. Is it actual golf or is it like cartoony bullshit? No, it's pretty accurate.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I feel like it's pretty accurate. Yeah, it's pretty accurate. Yeah, they got it down. They even have like a top golf seminar where you can put on any YouTube video you want. So me and the boys just top golfing to twerk compilations. Oh, yeah. The best. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Who's the best twerker these days? Tyler. The South American? The South African girl? I believe so. She has a dance going viral on TikTok right now. It's like the Tyla dance. Shout out Tyla.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Tyla. Titus, what are you doing for your birthday? Nothing. This. Yeah. It's this. You just won a national championship. I did win the national championship on a video game that's 21 years old.
Starting point is 00:07:07 But you've been working to achieve that, have you? Yeah. That's super exciting. Who'd you beat? Florida. Yeah. They couldn't move the ball, really. I mean, there's a lot of desperation out of them,
Starting point is 00:07:17 and they hit on a couple Hail Marys on me, but they just. You didn't blow them out, did you? It was a fucking blowout. No, I don't think that's as rewarding. Not a classic. Do you all want to talk don't think that's as rewarding. Yeah. Not a classic. Do y'all want to talk about Clemmer's dap? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Yes. Did he grow fingers for that? If you pause it at any time, it's two hands. There's about 23 fingers. Are his fingers like lizard's tails? If you cut them off, they grow right back? I think they're like starfish legs. If you cut them off, they'll grow right back.
Starting point is 00:07:42 That thumb visual. You just changed the animal, but said the same thing. We just got Michigan today. I got Illinois yesterday. And I'm in Indiana, and I need it. I'll give you $40 right now for it. That's the best thing you can do. It's all I have in my wallet.
Starting point is 00:07:59 $40. Yeah, I do, right? I'm serious. I am serious. My name is Chris, and I am serious. $40. Oh, he means business. Oh, Chris means business. Oh, fuck. Thank you very much. What's your name?
Starting point is 00:08:17 Cornelius. I'm Chris. Thank you very much. One, two, three, four. I declare a phone war. Indiana is off the board. Let's go. This is obviously unbelievable, but lost in the DAP disaster discourse is the fact that Christopher Clemmer scored a purple do-rag off of the head of an obliging black man in the purple hat competition. Unbelievable. A do-rag. And who would have thought it would happen this early?
Starting point is 00:08:47 People are talking about, oh, in what world is a do-rag a hat? In this world, it's a hat. Wakanda? It's a hat. It's a hat. Even if it's not, it's a hat for this competition. It sure is.
Starting point is 00:09:05 I would love the... I need more do-rags. Clemmer found... He acquired a do-rag in the purple hat competition. He acquired a purple... In Indiana. Yeah. Undo-ragging a man is not an easy task.
Starting point is 00:09:16 No, it's not. No, no. He goes to $40 quick, though. He does go to $40 quick, but it was a nice silky. What's his budget? What did we decide on? I think $2,500 is what we decided on. So it's $5040 quick, but it was a nice silky. What's his budget? What did we decide on? I think $2,500 is what we decided on. So it's $50 per?
Starting point is 00:09:28 I think so. Okay. Yeah. He's all right. But he needs to – I want him to get some free ones. Yeah, he does need to be able to talk the head off a person. This content's incredible. Can we watch the dab again?
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah. Please. Someone said it's so bad that it's good, and I agree. It looks like it was choreographed and planned. It's so bad, it's complex. I want to try to recreate it. I don't think you could. So this is just your classic Walmart parking lot, too.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I wonder how many will come from Walmart. Thank you very much. It looks like a secret hedge. Yeah, you're right. It does. Yeah. The guy went for his thumb, though. The guy dove in for his thumb.
Starting point is 00:10:15 I think he just got confused by seeing the thumb. Look at that thumb. Longer than a word. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait a minute. Can we zoom? Can we enhance?
Starting point is 00:10:23 It's the longest foam ever. Yo. That's not the biggest. It's wider than the hand. It's going to grow. That's bigger than my dick. It gets bigger than that? Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Prove it. Look at that. Play it one more second. One millisecond ahead. One millisecond ahead, please, TJ. It does grow. Oh my god. Holy shit. That is... oh my god oh my god
Starting point is 00:10:53 was going in for the hug do you think he was going in for no I don't think with that no no that hug would kill him I don't even see the girl in the back. That's an Atari controller. And the rest of his fingers are pointed straight down. Oh, my God. Yeah, I don't know if this was Clemmer's fault. Clemmer put his hand out. It's Clemmer's fault
Starting point is 00:11:24 because he has a thumb that's freakishly long, and the guy was like, I just got to wrap my hand around that thumb. Do I have to? I have to get hands on that thumb. I never play it against a thumb. But Clemmer, as you slow it down, he just kind of puts his hand out there. Whoa. What?
Starting point is 00:11:36 What the? Clemmer. Did he think the thumb was the whole hand? Yeah, he presents his hand. He says, do what you want with this hand, sir. Oh, he straightened it. He dabbed the thumb with it. The whole he's straight you gotta show respect to that thumb yeah the guy was like i i mean look at the point and then when clemmer wrapped his thumb around his hand twice
Starting point is 00:11:55 like a boa like that anaconda around mateo the ship captain but titus you're right it's the other guy fault. He tried to dap just the thumb. Yeah. You slow it down. Clemmer just puts his hand there and says... This guy's never seen a thumb like that. Never. My hand is a blank slate.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Do what you want with it. And the guy says, I'm going to take that thumb. He went for the thumb. What the fucking thumb? It was a carrot. It's like playing a flight sim. It's like when a wrestler gives you his back. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:12:27 At what point does Klimmer just stop doing everything else he does? It has to be now. It has to be now. This is my only function of now. I think he needs to realize this is it. Everyone has been good. Let's go all in on this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Everyone has been good. I think he's going to colorado next week when he goes to colorado he needs to take a week and hit the entire the the heartland the western yeah go to colorado and wyoming west virginia out there no no no no arkansas mookie's pulling your chain arkansas's over there i'm locked in. Sorry. Not a big deal, Mark, but yesterday his state was New Mexico, and he went way away from Mexico to find New Mexico. But he did better today. He came ready.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I did enjoy the people in this office and elsewhere who were trying to justify that not being a big deal, like not knowing states. There was a lot of discourse that was like, what do you need to know that for? It's the most common knowledge we can have almost instead of just tapping your chest and be like i should have done that right i did i did why doesn't anyone be like yeah that was stupid that was stupid i'm not talking about you we're not talking about you but you're right all these other people are saying like what am i ever gonna need to know that i need to know that for just look it up and i was like you could look up literally anything then what going to need to know that? What do I need to know that for? I can just look it up. And I was like, you could look up literally anything then.
Starting point is 00:13:45 What do you need to know anything? And they're like, good point. That's a great point. I should just be stupid. I should just know anything. I should just know dumb fuck. Why not just be a total dumb fuck and know nothing? I don't even know my own name.
Starting point is 00:13:55 I have to look at my ID. Yeah. It's written right here. Why do I need to know it? Kyle, I'm thinking of a city west of the Mississippi. Go. Love this. West of the Mississippi. Go. Love this. West of the Mississippi.
Starting point is 00:14:07 We'll go Boise. Very cold. Very cold. We'll go El Paso. Warmer. Warmer. We'll go Denver. Same temperature.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Fresno. Colder. same temperature um fresno colder colder uh aberdeen south dakota i think cold i think i got it titus jump in it's santa fe new mexico still relatively cool uh flagstaff. Colder. Grand Island, Nebraska. Warmer. Omaha. Warmish. Warmish. Still not hot. What's out in West Kansas?
Starting point is 00:15:04 El Paso, Santa Fe, Denver. Dodge City. Or is it Dodge City? Well, that would be the warmest guess so far. Dodge City? That'd be warm. Is that in Iowa or Kansas? That's in Kansas.
Starting point is 00:15:13 It'd be warmest. What's in Oklahoma? Oh, Norman. Hot. Yeah. Oklahoma City. Hot. Tulsa.
Starting point is 00:15:23 That is it. It's Tulsa. It's Tulsa, Oklahoma. you ever been uh i have not been to the state of oklahoma whoa that's one of my states i got i'm at 33 i got 17 left yeah i've never been there i gotta knock out idaho sometime this summer though so that'll be fun you need to go west is that yeah i? Yeah, I need the entire northwest. I need Montana, Idaho, Oregon, Washington. And then I need the extreme northeast.
Starting point is 00:15:58 And then little bits and pieces here and there. All right, man. All right, Brandon. Do you know, you probably already know, that there is a Brandon High School in Florida? Is that in Leesburg? And a Titusville High School. I know the Titusville.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Titusville is like kind of a bigger town. I'm proposing a mostly sports bowl. Oh. And they're on opposite sides. They're in the central Florida but on opposite coasts. Oh, do you think they ever have played at all? I don't know. How far away are they, I wonder? Are they a similar size? Driving don't know. How far away are they, I wonder? Are they similar size?
Starting point is 00:16:26 Driving distance? Yeah. Across the state? Is Brandon High School in Brandon, Florida? Tampa. It's in Tampa. Okay. And Titusville, I assume, is just a town?
Starting point is 00:16:35 It's on the Atlantic Ocean. Space. Over by Daytona and Deltona? It's big enough that people will be driving through it every so often and take a picture and tweet it at me. That's fun. That's fun. That is fun. There's a lot.
Starting point is 00:16:48 There's a brand in Mississippi. I think there's a brand in other places. What's the most common tweet at you? We know you. Yours is killer. Yes. That's a great question. Mine's lookalikes.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Lookalikes, yeah. Yours is definitely lookalikes. Therealikes yeah yours definitely lookalikes yeah there we go so we could we could potentially play yeah we should
Starting point is 00:17:11 what's in the middle zoom in that's Disney oh the Orlando yeah oh yeah you guys should you guys should host the game of finances
Starting point is 00:17:19 mmhmm at Disney we need to know if they're similar in size if this is even feasible because if if you're a 1A and I'm a 6A I think they're similar in size, if this is even feasible. Because if you're a 1A and I'm a 6A. I think they're both big schools. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:29 I'm positive. We've got to set this up, Brandon. All right. Are there any Kyle – there's no Kyle High School or Bauer High School. Kyle Texas, right? Kyle Field. Kyle Field, yeah. Well, that's Texas A&M.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Number one toughest place to play according to college football 2025. Do you agree? No. I vehemently disagree. I think it's LSU. What's that word? Vehemently. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:55 And I don't know how to use it other than to say I disagree with something. Can you agree? Vehemently? Yeah. I vehemently agree. I guess you could, but I think people only disagree vehemently. It's an aggressive agree.ly i guess you could but i think people only disagree vehemently it's an aggressive agree yeah can you have vim without vigor i was thinking about this that's a great question brandon thanks um you can't have vim without vigor you've ever had
Starting point is 00:18:15 vim but i have a homie with them is that an acronym i've heard vim and vigor i've heard that yeah but i don't know what vim is without vigor yeah like strawberry and kiwi well I think strawberry does fine on its own strawberry is the kiwi doesn't that's a great point I bring this up like every six months I've never seen Kyle and his fucking golden kiwis
Starting point is 00:18:36 my mom just bought two 50 pound watermelons to send to the port 50 pound watermelons I said last year they cost 200 to ship and she called me yesterday she says brandon these are too big they're gonna cost me more money and i said well how big are they she said well they're both over 50 pounds why do i not believe that i don't know uh first of all that seems like a too big watermelon too heavy but i don't know her to be a liar about her watermelon sizes she's always been truthful about her melons so i don't really know has she been truthful to you about them
Starting point is 00:19:09 honest to god god damn it what i don't know why am i joking about my mom's titties i didn't even know you were doing that i was they ain't 50 pounds so anyway she's sending d Dave his summer melons. 50-pound watermelons. Big food never equals good. I'm a big hater of over- Well, I don't like the gigantic burgers that you stack. We did that in Michigan.
Starting point is 00:19:36 You can't eat them. It was just a bad, bad cheeseburger. It was a bad, bad cheeseburger. It's not logistically plausible. You can't have flavor throughout. It was just like eating. I'm on the, I think when you shrink a food, it becomes better. Sliders can be too bunny.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Yeah, I don't like sliders. I like all my foods the correct size. Yeah, I think that food's right. Let me think about that. Nicky Takes. Yeah, that feels right. That does feel right. Do you include normal-sized chicken as opposed to chicken wings Or do you consider them two different things
Starting point is 00:20:07 I like normal sized chicken wings and normal sized chicken breasts I want a bag of mini burritos That's what I want That's pretty good Brian when you get a rotisserie chicken What's the point of attack How do you go after that thing You buy that thing that you see on TV to shred it
Starting point is 00:20:24 I just get a paper plate Two washed washed hands, and just tear that motherfucker apart. Is it two washed hands, Brandon? And I have a plate full of just delicious chicken. Just like pulled chicken kind of? Yeah, I pull it myself. Rotisserie chicken should be the number one thing eaten in America. It's five bucks for a chicken. And it's so good.
Starting point is 00:20:41 It's so fucking good. It's so readily available. It's so much better than any other chicken. It's not fucking good. And they're so readily available. It's so much better than any other chicken. It's not unhealthy, is it? They're readily available. Like every Walmart, there's just that big round thing. We should ask Dan for a rotisserie spit. Have chickens going.
Starting point is 00:20:55 We shouldn't ask. We should just tell him we decided on the act today we need a rotisserie spit. Oh, yeah, yeah. He'll just do it. Why isn't Boston Market flourishing? Because that's their bag, right? To me, theirs is a little, it's too tame. It's not. Why aren't Market flourishing? Because that's their bag, right? To me, theirs is a little, it's too tame. It's not.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Why aren't they flourishing? It's not like a. I think because they do like home cooked meals. There should be more Boston Markets than Starbucks. I've only eaten at one Boston Market and I found it to be subpar. I love it. I think that might be the problem. It's not good.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Oh. It's not that good. Is that a big issue? Yeah. I think if it was good, it would be better. But they do foods that, like, the best home-cooked chefs create. Right. So you compare it to that.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Shay, has Boston Market ever advertised with Barstool Sports? Not that I'm aware of. Zah also just told me he had Boston Market for the first time ever this weekend. Whoa, Zah. Well whoa let Zal weigh in that was average yeah okay good that is a correct take
Starting point is 00:21:51 anything to write home about it was fine it's home cooked meals not made at home which will never be as good as home take away the whole point of what makes a home cooked meal
Starting point is 00:21:59 yeah but you can like in the south you can go to a restaurant that has home cooked meals that are not a chain though what's the best chain home-cooked meal? But those are...
Starting point is 00:22:06 Chain home-cooked meals? Don't tell me, Cracker. I don't think it is Cracker. But those restaurants are probably actually cooked on site. As if they're cooked at home, yeah. Yeah, as if they're cooked at home, just at the restaurant. Whereas Boston Market is like a mass-produced meal. Can I say something crazy?
Starting point is 00:22:21 Here's your mashed potatoes in a bag. TJ, so help me fucking God for real. God forbid. And you already have fucking Quiz Here's your mashed potatoes in a bag. TJ, so help me fucking God. For real. God forbid. And you already have fucking Quiznos subs in S plus or some shit. I was going to say. Sorry, I came in hot. The food at medieval times. Nick's going to like this.
Starting point is 00:22:38 It's gas. It's gas. It's giant turkey leg. Yes. A little mutton. I've never been to medieval times. Well, a little mutton. A little mutton. I've never been to Medieval Town. Well, let's go this weekend. Well, my wife, when we were in Jersey, wanted to take my kids to it.
Starting point is 00:22:50 There's one here. But I never got around to it. I didn't know. They sell the big-ass turkey legs? Yes, and there's no silverware at Medieval Town. I swear, I thought the one in Jersey was the only one. No, sir. There's also one in Toronto.
Starting point is 00:23:00 And there's one here. Yes. Huh. There's a few around town. And then, yeah, we'll go. We'll pillage. That has another partner. Have you ever seen pillage without?
Starting point is 00:23:12 Yeah, yeah. Who's ever just pillaged? Who's morally pillaged? Yeah. If you pee, you have to R. We pillage, but we do it the right way. Yeah, yeah. We're not like those other pillagers.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Can I just kiss you? Let's kiss and pillage. Let's consensually kiss and pillage, but we do it the right way. Yeah, yeah. We're not like those other pillagers. Can I just kiss you? Let's kiss and pillage. Let's consensually kiss and pillage. Can I call you back? Oh, fuck. Hey, it's Nick from the pillage. I thought you were adorable. Yeah, I didn't want to come on too strong.
Starting point is 00:23:40 I'm the dude who just pillaged you. Yeah. Yup. And then... Yeah, let's go up to medieval times. You sit in the section of what night you are. Do you have to dress up for that? Or is it just encouraged?
Starting point is 00:24:00 What would you want to do, Mark? You. Yeah, you. I would probably dress up. Probably dress up. What do you mean sit in the section of what night you are? I think it's divided into four, and then it's like a tournament in the middle of the medieval times.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Okay. Do you pick a team? No, it's your section. So red, blue, black, black and green. I don't know. But it is based on what time you get there. So I think the people that get there early. The knights the green knight wait can i read uh as the fiercest swordsman in the okay a master of weaponry the green knight of leon leon is gifted in handling all weapons from the crossbow
Starting point is 00:24:35 to the battle axe the green knight lives up to the reputation as one of the most powerful knights of his kingdom you just like the weaponry i like it all brandon head to toe i love the idea of going here as a group and they assign you an identity once you get there and like some people get to be like the kings and other people get to be the peasants you don't know till you get there right you're a peasant they only serve you slop i like no matter what you do you're like i will give you hundreds of dollars for a real meal and they're like shut the fuck up and get this slop i remember going on an eighth grade trip and one of the knights was, like, earnestly flirting with one of the eighth graders.
Starting point is 00:25:09 He gave her the ribbon on the end of his lance. In Toronto? Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys see the big beer games news? Yes. Were you guys duped? Stunning. Stunning turn of events of events what we're in a simulation
Starting point is 00:25:28 yeah don't tell me the cat's there cat and tea cat is there yup should we live stream it i think it's just uh it's gonna be a recording i think it's coming out in september yeah uh next next september yeah record it it's a going to be a video. I think it's coming out in September. Yeah. Next September. It's a dual feature with Monkey Boy. They're going to release it whenever the dozen next year is supposed to be. The night of the dozen draft. Beer Games drops.
Starting point is 00:26:01 By the way, I don't think the dozen is set in stone. I don't think the draft is a thing anymore. I think they're just digging around to see what works and what doesn't so we're gonna figure out uh how what do you mean we're huh what we're gonna yeah wait are you on the board what does that mean i guess i'm there well we're all part of the dozen we're all i'm a competitor yeah but we're but you're in the you're you're part of the dozen yeah but we don't have any as competitors we don't have any say in what no i'm in there i'm in there they're working you haven't been texting around it about it you haven't been no no no i mean i listen i i haven't been texting yeah yeah yeah yeah hmm you have jeff d lowe's number saved as domino's pizza so
Starting point is 00:26:42 your wife doesn't catch you. You wore a Michigan State alumni shirt yesterday. Yeah, what are you doing? Trying something new. Rep in school? I've realized that people will support people if they realize they went to the same school. They do. And so I have a lot of alumni shirts now.
Starting point is 00:27:04 And so on the off chance this is somebody's first time, they're like, oh, fuck, I love Nick. I went to USC too. I got like five followers yesterday that are MSU alums. So your first two were Michigan State and USC. I did Tennessee before as well. But, I mean, the shirts are available to anybody. What's the number one school that works on, Texas A&M? I think they would know. I think it's like a small school because it's just like not many people went there.
Starting point is 00:27:25 A slippery road. But if you meet someone at a bar and you think he's a real piece of shit and then you find out that he went to the same school you did, you're like, oh, dude, I had it all wrong. You're actually – Yeah, you're one of us. What school would be like – you going to the same school as me overshadows everything else.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I feel like Penn State fans will look at a certain – I feel like it's any school. It really just might be any school, yeah. That was silly. Penn State fans will never overlook certain things. No, that's not their nature. Who's the only SEC football head coach who is from the same city that he coaches in? This is a good one. This is a good one.
Starting point is 00:28:07 This is a good one. Well. I want to get it before Brandon. I want to get it before Brandon. Hold on. I don't think Kirby Smart's from Athens. Is it Kirby Smart? He's from Decatur County.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Wait, you know all the coaches too? Well, I was looking this up to try to quiz you in case we had to. All right, all right, all right. Hold on, let me go through the coaches. So DeBoer, no. Argyle, no. Kiffin, no. LSU, no.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Florida, no. South Carolina, no. You got me. Is Clark Lee from Nashville? It's Clark Lee. Yep. Nice. Good deductive. I don't know how I got that. No Clark Lee from Nashville? It's Clark Lee. Yep. Nice. Yep.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Good deductive. I don't know how I got that. I do know how. And I didn't realize they had the quarterback from New Mexico. Diego Pavia, yeah. Who was fun to watch. They're going to be interesting this year, Vanderbilt. Probably bad.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Bad, but interesting. And that beats bad, but uninteresting. Yeah. I think we might just be bad. Mississippi State's going to be bad. We're going to score a lot of points, but I don't know how good our defense is I'm worried, I'm worried, by September I'll be good to go but right now I'm worried
Starting point is 00:29:10 you guys are going to be pretty good West Virginia yeah you got to narrow it down man you think so? pretty good, I hope so quarterback's good took you a while to realize that took you a while to realize that
Starting point is 00:29:24 coach saved his job last year a while to realize yes it did coach saved his job last year i think you guys extended him you guys open with penn state yes scary that's a big one at penn state you said that you said it would be close last is that home it was close last yeah it was it was it was like they covered the spread at the end they did yeah yeah it's at home we'll see what goes all right i want to get to a couple games this year i'm going around all my alumni trying to do a day in a beers thing i'm picking out my alumni i'm picking out where i went to school taking them beers when a tornado strikes yeah any disaster i dreamed of a torn i dream of tornadoes a lot yeah yeah tornadoes happen in my dream all the time the other day i was just walking down the street and a tornado was on the other side of the street, like walking.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Oh, just had legs? No, but whoever was in the dream with me said, look over there, and the tornado just started at human size and then just blew up into a big. Oh, that's never good. Do you ever get tornado varieties? Like is there ever like slices of pizza in the tornadoes? That would be crazy.
Starting point is 00:30:25 No, but I'll get the pencil tornado tornadoes i'll get the big tornadoes i'll get the tornadoes that you're just not gonna escape from and it's gonna kill you is there a team that uses the nickname the tornadoes uh the golden tornadoes who are the golden tornadoes tulsa i was thinking you were gonna get the mississippi high school that's the Golden Tornadoes. Oh, Butler County, Pennsylvania. Ah, okay. Laurel High School and the Laurel High Golden Tornadoes. I thought you were going to get that, and it was shocking. Really?
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah, that's where Clinton Portis was born. Wow. But he moved away before he got to high school. Did you guys get woken up by the thunder today? Yeah, 7.30 on the dot. I just don't understand why they traded Giddy. This little treat. Yeah, he's here now. He's here just don't understand why they traded Giddy. This little treat. Yeah, he's here now.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Oh, we do have Giddy. What's the difference between a tornado and a cyclone? Cyclone is a hurricane. Cyclone, typhoon, and hurricane are the same thing in different oceans. A cyclone is just the general spin of everything. It depends on what ocean they're in. Iowa State being called the Cyclones is a misnomer?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Like they don't actually get cyclones in Iowa? No, a cyclone is what a tornado is, right? It's a spinning vortex of death. I thought the cyclone was the type of – that's a tropical cyclone. But then a tornado is a non-tropical cyclone, correct? Don't get me started on typhoons. Oh, no. But why is Iowa State the cyclone, then?
Starting point is 00:31:50 Hey. Yeah, why are they? Because there's never been a cyclone. Oh, is it tongue-in-cheek? Are they meta? Are they witty down there? Nobody in Iowa is meta. No.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Good party school. Which one, Iowa or Iowa State? Iowa State. Oh, yeah. Iowa suffered an unusually high number of devastating cyclones. Goddamn. Struck by a cyclone that comes from Iowa and devastates Evans. It's weird to name your team after something that ravaged you.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Like the Chicago Fire. Miami Hurricanes. New York. Yeah yeah that is weird you should do what is that what is that noise that is a remote control something if it's a remote if it's some sort it's got to be spider right if it's a toy yeah that's causing chaos but it's only in what is it a drill it's a drill who's drilling there's titus that's oh titus is right there right there it's always crazy to see
Starting point is 00:32:58 look how nonchalant he's walking brandon what would uh if you have the mississippi state team was named after a tragedy what would it be heroin uh like some sort of mississippi river flood probably mississippi the river flood is a cool team the river flood the river flood is a cool team name yeah west wvu like rock slides or mines? Mine collapse. Mine collapse? We'd be the Temple Gats. Yeah, definitely. Kent State National Guard. Is he just going to keep doing them?
Starting point is 00:33:33 Has Kent State... It's kind of a fire name. The Kent State National Guard. The Flaming National Guard. The Golden National Guard. God damn. I looked into it, and I got scared. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:50 I approached the situation, and those guys looked tougher than me. Blue-collar guys, I will never. They could tell me whatever they want. So I just turned around and walked away. So I have no idea what's going on. They're probably doing some work up there above that. I can figure it out if you want. You're not a blue-collar guy.
Starting point is 00:34:05 You're wearing a Band-Aid. Conto Band-Aid. You're wearing a shirt that says the Happiness Project with a Band-Aid on it. You're not going up to a blue-collar man. What's up, fellow blue-collar guys? What's up? We're going to be able to hear the wind of the first F consonant that they call him. Climb the ladder, Mook.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Climb the ladder, Mook. Oh, he's fucked. We should do a climb the ladder wheel. I like that. He's going. He's just doing it? Wait, he's just doing it without asking? A little too bold.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Wait, that was too bold. Mook. I like that. Look, that was too bold. I like that. Look, this guy's pissed. He's checking out their work. Looks good. Damn, he is blue-collar. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Holy shit. Oh, my God. God damn. You think he's the only blue collar ginger there is? I don't think there's a lot of blue collar gingers. There can't be. I've never had a ginger plumber. Wow.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Yeah. I had a plumber roll through my place yesterday. You're always in need of some type of home repair a new place though huh yeah it's falling apart man is it leaking it's leaking from the ceiling the upstairs neighbors they're replacing a pipe but it's a russian plumber oh so he goes too fast i i i regretted it as soon as i said it that was badass mook how'd you do that yeah i found the uh perfect place to hang myself on the top. I was wondering if you were going to whip out a rope.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Remember when you called South Carolina Virginia? No, it's sturdy. Your suicide note should just be a labeled map. No, good dudes, though. Oh, always are. I killed it. Till they're not. We thought that was too bold at first.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Nah. I can climb a ladder. Well, we didn. I killed it. Till they're not. We thought that was too bold at first. Nah. Nah. I can climb a ladder. Well, we didn't doubt that part. What were they going to do? Tear me down? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Yeah. That would have been crazy. Or they knock you over like Razor Ramon knocking over Shawn Michaels in 1990. Or even worse, just kind of give you a look that you'll think about the rest of the week, really. No, they're the boys. That would be devastating. Is that Donnie's? That's not Donnie's brother. Yeah, that is. No, they're the boys. That would be devastating. Is that Donnie's?
Starting point is 00:36:26 That's not Donnie's brother. Yeah, that is. That is Donnie's brother. That's Don, deniably. That's just Donnie. Well, I only saw the side of his face, and there's another intern that looks like both of them. No kidding. It's not their brother, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:35 But that's Chef Donnie's brother. Where would the Vince McMahon storyline gone with him dying, blown up in the car, if Benoit didn't die? I don't know, but they had just killed him. Yeah. And I have no idea. Maybe there was going to be a fight over the inheritance. Maybe there was going to be a fight over the inheritance.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Maybe there was going to be a fight over the company. Maybe eventually I assume they would have just said, oh, I fake my own death just to see how you guys were doing. How did they get out of it? They didn't. They just came out that week. They just came out and he was alive, and they never once said it. No, they said it.
Starting point is 00:36:57 They said last week we had a fictionalized version of this. Oh, they did the fictionalized? Now we're getting away from that, yeah. They didn't even try to say. They retconned it. That was before they found out about what happened to Benoit, though. They did a three-hour Raw tributing Benoit's life with a bunch of testimonies, and then the next day on SmackDown, they were like, that's actually the last time we're going
Starting point is 00:37:18 to talk about him for a while. What do we got, a ladybug? Ladybug. There's a ladybug in there? First on the act. Is it in there or on there? It's on my water bottle. Oh, nice, man.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Good luck. I think we've had ladybugs before. We might have had a ladybug on the yak before, yeah. Daily show going on for how many years now? There's been probably five ladybugs. We've had lanternflies. We've had lanternflies. Oh, I hated those.
Starting point is 00:37:39 It's super good luck if you eat it. We can get Connor Griffin to go through and watch all the episodes and find the, let's put out a soup. We have the week off. Let's put out best of ladybugs on the yak. Connor would do that. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:37:51 we'll do that. How do you, what are you supposed to do with them? Connor? What do we have? Uh, I know he's out. What do we have cooked up for next week?
Starting point is 00:37:59 Oh yeah. You're going to orange beach. I'm going to, but so is your sister, but you're not going to be seeing your sister. No. And your sister's also with your daughter and you're not going to orange beach i'm going to but so is your sister but you're not going to be seeing your sister no and your sister's also with your daughter and you're not going to be seeing your daughter either i will be this is why i'm going to orange beach what's the vibe at orange beach uh beach but is it like yeah there's a lot of beaches no it's it's more for its family you
Starting point is 00:38:18 tossing pigskin on the beach is there a is there a plane that goes back and forth and says five dollar buckets of beer down it? Love that. That's the adjective animal. Great feeling. The crab in pouring. The hangout. Yep.
Starting point is 00:38:30 There's definitely a hangout. No, my sister and taking my daughter like Friday, and then we're going to go behind them and just pick up. You're driving. I'm going to drive. I'm flying all the women and the boys are driving. Nice. That's fun.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Yeah. You're flying all the women? I'm flying all the women and the boys are driving. Nice. That's fun. Yeah. You're flying all the women? I'm flying my wife and daughter down there, yeah. What does that mean? That implies you're the pilot. No, I'm buying them plane tickets, putting them on a plane, dropping them off at the airport, and then I'm driving down there. I ain't paying $1,000. Do you take your shirt off at the beach?
Starting point is 00:39:01 Huh? You take your shirt off at the beach? This year will be a test. What does that mean? It's just, as of now, it's a no. As of now, Monday and Tuesday, it'll be a no. By Thursday, probably a yes. And by Friday and Saturday, I'll definitely be shirtless.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Just get a little too burnt? I'll just be like, fuck it, I don't care. Yeah. But Monday and Tuesday, no chance the shirt comes off. Change your shirt on the logo, too. Shirt came off on the logo. Oh! Oh, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Wow, Brandon. Looks good. Looks good. What is that shirt? It looks like Ninja Turtles. Pretty cool. Yeah, looks like Ninja Turtles, which is one of my shirts. Which is crazy. I didn't think they had to change them.
Starting point is 00:39:39 I don't think they did. You weren't even that furious. I don't think anybody called them after the show. You were only kind of livid. I don't think anybody called him after the show. You were only kind of livid. I don't think anybody made TJ call him in anger and then made Big Cat call him either. I don't think that happened. Anybody else want to have anything changed?
Starting point is 00:39:54 You have a funny excuse why. No, they really captured my perfect square neck beard. I don't want Botox on mine. Can we get Botox on Kyle's? You don't like that wrinkle above your eyebrow? I hate it. That's going to make me get actual Botox on Kyle? You don't like that wrinkle above your eyebrow? I hate it. That's going to make me get actual Botox. Dude, Kyle, that looks just like you.
Starting point is 00:40:10 I know. It's so good. I think it looks way more like Jeff than you. It does look like Jeff. Are you happy to be in the balloon? Yeah, I think that's fun. Yeah, good. TJ looks good. Yeah. Good. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:40:27 TJ looks good. Yeah. Cool guy, TJ, really. Yeah. Yeah. Dan's mustache is doing some funny things. Yeah. Yeah, the more you look at it.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Yeah. Huh. Yeah, Brandon, you look great now with the new T-shirt. Yeah, I do. It was definitely the shirt that was the standout characteristic. Yeah, that's you. I now with the new t-shirt. Yeah, I do. It was definitely the shirt that was the standout characteristic. Yeah, that's you. Now there's nothing you could point to and say.
Starting point is 00:40:52 A raving psychotic. You look like, what is it? I look like the Gary Busey mugshot. Gary Busey, yeah. Oh, yeah? You do look like the Gary Busey mugshot. Speaking of nothing, the Rattrap's still sitting right there. It's still set. It's still set?
Starting point is 00:41:05 It's still set. If anybody still set? It's still set. If anybody wants to put... You want to unset it? Can we put like a Go-Gurt in there? Oh, Go-Gurt would be so cool. What? Yeah, let's rat trap some shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Go-Gurt implied that regular yogurt wasn't portable. You could take... I could take my regular yogurt wherever you take your Go-Gurt. Go-Gurt. Yeah. Go-Gurt was sickgurt was sick though it was yeah it was great it was so nice yeah regular yogurt is is one of the more portable foods there is golly gogurt was in the tube yeah is that right it's just i guess you don't need a
Starting point is 00:41:37 spoon we definitely need a tube is it is it is it no longer a thing did gogurt hit its peak already is it on the decline i don't think it's sold anymore. I have a new tube of face lotion if y'all want to use that. Yeah, let's drop your face lotion in there. You want to do face lotion? Yeah. Let's do face lotion.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I know you're going to bitch about losing your face lotion. You're going to be mad about this. Well, I'm volunteering my face lotion. What about just like a ketchup packet? That's too small. Why not both? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:04 What's the funniest thing to Rattrap? A fucking dildo. I guess Mook's thumb. I mean, there was a moment in the beginning of the case race when I was coherent and Titus said it. And I was like, I could do something right now. I did think somebody was going to do it. I was like, I can do something right now. And then I thought about breaking my hand and how inconvenient that would be.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Just a fork? And then I forgot about it. I'm just unsetting it to then transport it. Oh, I see, I see. Oh, God. Holy shit. Good God almighty. Tines are everywhere.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Oh, my God. I haven't seen tines destroyed like that since the punt that Deshaun Jackson returned. Miracle of the Meadowlands, baby. I can check out the kitchen, too. Yeah, I want a tube of something. Paste, toothpaste, hair cream, a salve. Are there any interns we can sacrifice? Yeah, a lot. What's that a lot what's that party popper
Starting point is 00:43:07 party oh that'd be so cool oh yes or no i might suck let's try it i mean it's gonna do exactly what we think the party popper you you just twist and then it pops right right so do you think the force will pop it? Yeah. I don't know. Let's see. I think we'll have to find out. Do mice and rats chill ever? I think mice do.
Starting point is 00:43:33 I don't think rats are chill. No, they chill together. I think a couple times in the Redwall series. They definitely see each other in walls sometimes, right? Yeah. I feel like they're either fucking or eating. What's the trope of just the hole In the bottom of the wall Did mice make those
Starting point is 00:43:48 Or did they find them I think cartoons just needed Somewhere for them to go Oh This is about to be wicked How are you gonna do it I don't know What are the pitfalls
Starting point is 00:44:00 I'm not thinking of None Just don't worry about it Okay I think just do it It might blow up It might hit It might ricochet. Yeah. Shrapnel.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Steven, did we sign all the waivers? No, I have a big insurance policy out of myself. It's going to hit me right in the stink. Do you think it's too big? No. Okay. Just drop it. Yeah. See? Yeah, that was...
Starting point is 00:44:30 How does adding a rat trap make it worse? Make it less explosive. I kind of enjoyed the confetti coming out in multi-colors. All right, that was a little... You rarely see confetti just easing out of something. Yeah, that was a seeping confetti. That would be the best Super Bowl celebration, just trickling. We did it! Well, that kind of ruined the rat track.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Yep. We can get it back. Brandon, blue. You ain't good. I had the blue. Damn. Damn. Red. Well, that was like way...
Starting point is 00:45:09 That was impossible. Red. Fuck. That one was on me. Ah. Yellow. Nobody can do it. No, we're not very good.
Starting point is 00:45:20 I can do it. Come on. Fuck. I was gonna... Brandon, flip backwards in your chair. Not very good. I can do it. Come on. Brandon, flip backwards in your chair. What's behind me? Blue. Ain't nothing. Oh!
Starting point is 00:45:33 Yeah, Mook can do it. Good job, Mook. Good job. Red. Damn. Let's get five in a row. Five? All right, Titus.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Blue. Yes. Brandon to me. Brandon. Yellow. Never mind. It's like an Amish bop it. Mmm.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Yes. So everybody's got it, right? Yeah. Everybody got one. Everyone got a... I haven't got one. Everyone got a... I haven't caught one. Everyone got a tape? Give me another one.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Brandon. Loser has to put their new face lotion in the rat trap. Red. Nice. It's pretty good. Put one of those body armor powder packets in between Brandon and Nick. That might be cool. Titus, can you say it?
Starting point is 00:46:24 Body armor power packets. Powder. This might not be good either. I hate destroying such a delicious product, though. I'm having the cucumber lime. Body armor would be curious about the rat trap, though. I don't know if they've put
Starting point is 00:46:42 their product through that testing yet. I don't know if it put their product through that testing yet. Oh. Ooh. I don't know if it's heavy enough to set off. Oh, God. Why not? Oh, God. Uh-oh. Oh, fuck. Ah, well. Yeah, shit.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Took it pretty good. Great product. Good product. Good packaging. Very durable. Adorable packet. took it pretty good great product good product good packaging yeah very durable durable packet yeah the rat trap is it washed?
Starting point is 00:47:12 I'm starting to think that dude it didn't it didn't even put a hole in it wow so great got it nice some
Starting point is 00:47:23 maybe we're defenseless against rats? That's loud as fuck. Yeah. I'm going to tell you about... I have a pottery lesson tonight. No, you don't. Yep, 530 in Pilsen. Come on.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Are you going to ghost it? No, I'm not going to ghost it. Do you kind of want to ghost it? No, I mean, I don't mean not show up I mean Oh ghost it as if I'm dead and I'm touching and you put a woman in between are you gonna kill yourself and then I don't have to I don't have to get inside whoopee Goldberg do I well you
Starting point is 00:47:56 might is that what happened to him yeah he got inside whoopee Goldberg so he went to hell no uh yeah I'm just just trying to learn the wheel a little bit. Yeah, that's what you say, Frank. What do you do if you learn it? Buy your own wheel? It's a slippery slope, for sure. What would you pot?
Starting point is 00:48:15 What would I pot? I think you said it. What would you set? I would say pots. A vase? I'd probably make vases and ashtrays. That's what Seth Rogen rogan i was just like right yeah he just gets high and makes pottery look at his bomb and then and that's pretty good uh whenever and then he sells it for a crazy yeah price yeah he makes like gandalf pipes with
Starting point is 00:48:39 a fucking wheel yeah yeah it's like all right it looks like a more effort than i know everything takes effort but it looks like more effort than the product you get it's the journey to get there 295 that's that's 200 for a standing oh it's sick yeah you definitely need one of those in your apartment this is 295 dollars that's insane standing our ashtrays almost extinct he gentrified smoking weed that's what he did i have an electronic one that electronic ashtray what's it do it um i don't know it's been you just put batteries in what type of batteries a gloopy incense burner bundle. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Who was leaving reviews on this shit? Who's buying pretty good? I don't know who's buying this shit. Who's buying it and then going, I got to go back to houseplant.com and fucking, I got to type out my crackle candle by Seth. I got to type out my standing ashtray review. Did you guys go through a
Starting point is 00:49:46 de-bowler phase? A what? A de-bowler phase. Is that an SEC coach? No. What is a de-bowler? A de-bowler is like an ashtray that has a stick poking out of it so you can put your bowl from I was never a weed guy. I never started smoking
Starting point is 00:50:01 until last year. It was a big phase. Do y'all want a wheel? Somebody has to buy one of those and present it to somebody as a gift? An earnest gift? A DeBowler or something from Houseplant. Spin the wheel. And you have to give the gift to Dave Portnoy earnestly. Yeah, deal.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Elimination. Yeah, got you something. Yeah. Let's figure out what we're buying first um yeah actual yeah find the product
Starting point is 00:50:31 standing ashtray $295 standing ashtray it's for the standing ashtray for Dave yeah for Dave put mook on there twice. Trying to kill me, dude. Dude, I'm in the hole from Taco Bell.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Yeah. I'm in the hole. Did you actually order food? Yeah. What came? I refunded like half of it. How much money would you say you ate? Probably 80 bucks worth.
Starting point is 00:51:02 No. I went to town. That's a lot of fucking Taco Bell. I ate it the next day. Like a gremlin. Taco Bell the next day is depressing as fuck. It was terrible. I was being financially responsible. I don't think you were.
Starting point is 00:51:16 By eating the leftovers. Yeah, you were. But alright, we're doing the standing ashtray? I don't know, I just said it. No, it's a good idea. No, let's do it It's good. Trust your instincts. It's not gonna be us It won't be me might be you bud People in the booth to I want to be che that would be the best
Starting point is 00:51:42 Just let's just do one wheel here just one spin one don't you think you want to eliminate um i think we should no let's be real no i really i don't want to betray that wasn't i don't want to betray it's an eliminator it didn't feel like an eliminator spot wait tj can we see the wheel No, let's be real. No, I really do think. I don't want to betray. It wasn't. I don't want to betray. It's an eliminator. It didn't feel like an eliminator spot. Wait, TJ, can we see the wheel? $300 for an Astro you have to deliver to Dave. I still think we need to have Kate and Big Cat on there.
Starting point is 00:52:16 I do, too. Yeah, it's a moot wheel. Yeah, and you've got to put Shay back, too. Moot wheel. Let's go ahead and do Big Cat like three or four times no let's do Big Cat once and let's put Danny Conrad yeah Danny doesn't
Starting point is 00:52:39 no caps for Danny let's get him Brandon random question while we're waiting for the wheel No caps for Danny. Let's get him. Brandon, random question while we're waiting for the wheel. Are SEC cameramen just horny dudes? Oh, yeah. Yeah. All college football are, but most SEC cameramen are horny dudes. Is that their job, just to find hot chicks?
Starting point is 00:52:59 Oh, there's a hot girl here. Yeah. Yeah. Let's buy what they're told. They know what they're looking for. It's genius. Yeah, they know what they're looking for. But what do they do with a school that only has last night and oh well that doesn't exist in the yes it was last night oh tennessee scored a run oh this is baseball you're talking tennessee scored a run and they they go to uh uh the crowd and it's a it's a blonde lady bouncing up and down celebrating. And I mean bouncing up and down.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Were her breasts gyrating? They were bouncing up and down. And they were. That's what I was hoping you'd say. Yeah. They cut to two girls licking an ice cream cone. Oh, I didn't see that one. Just like simultaneously.
Starting point is 00:53:39 They're like, you better get that fast before it melts. Especially in Omaha, there's a lot of downtime in the college baseball games. There's a lot of downtime. And college baseball games. There's a lot of downtime. They'll show everybody in the crowd, but as soon as they find a good-looking person or a famous person, it's every other shot. They milk that shit. A lot of cities work as terms for tits.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I feel like Omaha's. Omaha's are two tits. Knoxville's. Knoxville's, yes. St. Pete's. Chattanooga's. two tits. Knoxville's. St. Pete's. Chattanooga's. Oh. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:09 What else? I'm trying to come up with something that doesn't work, but they all work. Chicago's works. Chicago's works. Tampa's. Milwaukee's. Milwaukee's works. Twin Cities.
Starting point is 00:54:18 I don't know if that one works. Des Moines's don't work. Des Moines's. Des Moines's don't work. You've got to pair it. Des Moines's. I didn't think Salt Lake City's worked either. They do.
Starting point is 00:54:28 I'm sure they got the Bismarcks. Bismarcks work. Bismarcks work. Bad. Bismarcks. Bismarcks, you see your glare in there. You can check and see if you have something in your teeth. Nashville.
Starting point is 00:54:39 She got them college stations. TJ, what do you think of the jiggle physics? Hello? Jiggle physics? What do you think of the jiggle physics? What do you think of the jiggle physics in video games nowadays? They're pretty good, aren't they? There's a big controversy about a Fortnite years ago that had boobed physics.
Starting point is 00:54:57 They had to patch out boob physics from Fortnite. Dude, Fortnite characters are the most stacked girls in the world. So, jiggle physics have come a long way? Yeah, the jubilation emote. They had boob physics. Because it used to just be Laura Croft's Porygons, but now.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Oh, those things were pointy as hell? Yeah. You guys ever play Leisure Suite Larry? Oh, yes. What is that? I love that game. Hold on. It's Leisure Suit Larry, not Leisure Suit.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Yeah, that, that, that. My bad. Leisure Suit Larry was just a horn dog, right? And he would just try to get pussy. Oh, yeah. Have you guys ever seen the Fortnite girl characters? No, not the jiggle physics. I haven't seen the jiggle physics.
Starting point is 00:55:39 Can you pull them up, dude? My son's character is like a Star Wars drone with a bucket for a head it's i i don't understand what he's doing with his life in fortnite it probably cost you three hundred dollars who knows oh i didn't want to say i i don't know if it should be officially the next uh big yak tommy walker day's two weeks away oh his birthday is uh is two weeks away. Oh. His birthday is in two weeks. Oh. Yeah, that 100% should be the next week. We do.
Starting point is 00:56:09 That is what we do on this show. It's your birthday. We fucking blow it out. We go crazy. We do not just have a – Titus, be quiet. I was thinking we should just do it for a birthday, especially, Titus. Don't you think we should?
Starting point is 00:56:20 I think so, yeah. For Tommy, yeah, we should. We actually should. We've got to go big for the birthday and he's turning 14 so i think that's basically that's basically 21 we should get him drunk yeah 14 is a big age yeah you can smoke weed at 14 right he does yeah have you caught him with weed no way he wouldn't even know how to smoke i don't know yeah he would 14 i was clean as an arrow i was too no caffeine yeah we should we should spin the wheel for which vice he should try at 14 um like get him to place a bet alcohol
Starting point is 00:56:53 gambling um alcohol firearms uh yep uh yeah there they are man god bless the sec that is it's almost like she got a direct order to bounce she got a direct order yeah from who i don't know the bounce coordinator i'm the sec bounce coordinator that does sound like a real position yeah she was on bounce cam. Launch that idea. All right, ladies. It's the end of the third quarter, which means it's time for bounce cam. Let's get those titties moving, ladies.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Smackdown the other night during the break, they had DX cam, and it was just crotch chops. Show us your DX, and everybody in the fucking crowd doing that. That's fucking awesome. That's sick. I liked when they debuted when they, as a sports world I'm talking, debuted the Simba cam, and anyone with a baby would hold it up. That was cool.
Starting point is 00:58:00 But everyone's doing it now. I don't want to say it's played out, but it doesn't hit us. And the one guy held his beer up. Yeah. But when that debuted, it was awesome. When a and a guy leans into kisses girl then has his beer fucking ledge yeah doesn't get any better than that do you have a do you have a strategy in mind for a kiss cam that's the only thing on my mind when i'm at an event with my girlfriend kyle i swear to god me too it's like what I going to do if I get the kiss came out? What am I going to do?
Starting point is 00:58:26 I can't imagine. I can't imagine you Frenching. And I'm never prepped. I know it's going to happen to me. I know it's going to happen to me. I think you just manifested it. What's your next event? What do you do?
Starting point is 00:58:39 Would you make out? No. You just go with the light. But you can't not kiss. You got to peck. You got to go with the lip peck. You can't do a peck, dude But you can't not kiss. You gotta peck. You gotta go with the lip peck. You can't do a peck, dude. No.
Starting point is 00:58:50 You're a professional entertainer. You just want to dive into the what's on? You're on air every day. Everyone looks at Kyle Bauer and they say that's the funny man. I know what you would say. You would give her a hickey. Oh, that would be awesome. That is a good idea. That's a give her a hickey. Oh, that would be awesome. Just suck that. That is a good idea.
Starting point is 00:59:05 That's a really good idea. Wow. Oh, imagine a hickey cam. A hickey cam and whoever has the reddest. You're an artisan with your hickeys, too. You can make shapes. Ornate patterns. You left like Argyle on next.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Paisley. The team logo. Oh my god. Whoever can suck the logo. Chicago Bulls logo. I bought like the fake skin that you practice tattooing on to practice hickeying. Still, I'm not good. Are the Savannah bananas running out of tricks? they well no they're bigger than ever they're like touring major league are they are they doing like softcore
Starting point is 00:59:53 porn though now like it feels like every clip i see is just like them they got their abs out and they're like well even the opposing rust is getting popular now yeah the purple team or the wild things are the wild i don't know what they are. Yeah, they're like touring major league ballparks when the team's not there. They'll never go unfresh because they just grab trends from TikTok and do them on the field. They did movies sit on it. What's movies sit on it? You don't let movies sit on it, bro.
Starting point is 01:00:25 I can't say I did. I do know know where nevada is though yeah i know it's a trade i'm willing to make i respect that well what is movie our co-worker yeah she she has a her own tiktok friend she has a special move called sit on it. What is it? She's like scream sit on it. That's her move. Oh, I think I know it's a screen. It's a scream Yes, it's like a whole song and dance hmm, I Know where Nevada is now. Yeah, you know both. Yeah, you're becoming a was a renaissance man
Starting point is 01:01:02 movie sit on it, and Nevada. Get you a major. And the Tyler, Dan. Luke's resume. Get you a major, get you both. Two bullet points. Two bullet points. Nevada. Expertise. Nevada, Mubi, sit on it.
Starting point is 01:01:16 Sit on it. Sit on it. Yeah, that's. Sit on it. Oh, this is awesome. 715,000 likes. Jeez. That many people cannot be wrong.
Starting point is 01:01:28 She's at the Beer Olympics. Yeah, I got the invite. She's at the Beer Olympics? I got the invite to the Beer Olympics early on. That's awesome. I got asked to go interview them, but I couldn't do it. Yeah. No invite at all for Brandon.
Starting point is 01:01:42 No, those guys don't like me. They don't like you? Like, genuinely don't like you? Genuinely don't like me. They don't like you? Like, genuinely don't like you? Genuinely don't like me, yeah. Is it a football thing? I don't know. Like, your personality? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:50 They wish ill? I don't know if they wish ill. Has being around Titus, has being attached to Titus helped your public image? I think it's helped me with the rank and file, or with the common Barstool fan,
Starting point is 01:02:03 I'm more likable around Titus than I am, because, you know, he's such a piece of shit. is that why it has helped me a lot no i don't i have mostly has helped me with the uh with with because you have moments where that that shine through where it's like you're not a total dipshit correct yes yes before i came along i had no outlet no you had no platform to not be a total dipshit. Yeah. And now every so often. Do you have to set him up to get those moments, or is he just?
Starting point is 01:02:31 I think if you just keep digging at the mind, they'll just come through naturally. Yeah. But you got to dig a lot. You really got to dig. Speaking of shows where I'm a total dipshit, I'm bringing wrestling back. What? After 4th of July, I've had a total dipshit i'm bringing wrestling back what whoa after fourth of july i've had a producer reach out and say he'll do it for free wow you might as well i'm just gonna fucking
Starting point is 01:02:52 do it i mean wrestling is at the hottest it's the hottest it's ever been it seems like it's ever been in my life it's time to do it so i'm just gonna do it is it easy for you too like there's not much prep you're watching it anyway yeah i'm talking about it anyway i think we're just gonna nobody's listening anyway right right i'm gonna release it on like saturday so i'll just i'll just do perfect time to release a podcast nicky the good well i got a podcast on every other day so why not saturday or sunday uh and then i think some people that are so used to you from watching you on quick picks aren't going to understand that you're a wrestling guy as well i don't think that's going to be an issue. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:25 I think I should be able to navigate that one pretty easily. How much has changed since you last recorded an episode of wrestling? Wrestling is much bigger than it was. What was the last episode you did? Like 2022, April of 2022. It was the MJF interview. Oh, it got like 300,000 views. One thing to consider, though, when you had it the first time,
Starting point is 01:03:47 the market wasn't as saturated as it is now. So you have to navigate that. But I'm Brandon Walker. You'll cut through? Yeah, I'll always cut through. Okay. Always cut through. So Nikki the Good is doing it for me.
Starting point is 01:04:00 If you weren't a podcaster, would you yourself, as a wrestling fan, listen to a wrestling podcast? That's almost exclusively what I listen to now. Really? I listen to two outside Barstool podcasts. One's a wrestling podcast. One's a movie podcast. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Those are the two I listen to outside of our umbrella. I don't listen to podcasts. I do. For an hour and a half right in, they're pretty perfect. Yeah. I find it just being like, oh, I hear a podcast every day. Yep. podcasts i do i for an hour and a half right in they're they're pretty perfect yeah yeah i find it just being like oh i'm i hear a podcast every day yep like this is i'm listening to a pod but i i guess i guess i like i talk to y'all every day i like hearing other voices oh yeah there's
Starting point is 01:04:36 some good ones there's some informative ones like conrad thompson's wrestling podcasts are all great okay conrad thompson's a good name for a wrestling fan yeah he's one of the best he's awesome a nice guy too i'm a big podcast guy while i eat dinner whoa oh because you're alone yeah fuck you're never alone when you're with YouTube, bro. That's right. YouTube is a constant stream of I'm not by myself. I'll turn on Bad Friends. That's my guilt. That's your thing? Yeah. Bobby Lee and Santino.
Starting point is 01:05:14 They're good, yeah. They're great. Yeah. I've been watching a lot of old sports on YouTube. I've been watching a lot of 1980s and 90s basketball. Does it hold up? Yes, it does. As far as the entertainment value?
Starting point is 01:05:27 I just like watching Harry Carey slurs way through a, and I don't mean in that way, but slurs way through a broadcast. I didn't know that his estate bought back the ball that was the fan interference ball. The Bartman ball?
Starting point is 01:05:40 Yeah, that his estate bought it back and they blew it up and the remnants are in his steakhouse or whatever. I don't know that either. Oh, really? Yeah, I think so. I think it was a big event to blow it up.
Starting point is 01:05:50 I remember them blowing it up. I didn't know Harry Carey's estate was involved. I don't think so. Was it Harry Carey's restaurant? Yeah. Which probably is. Probably a steakhouse. Everybody gets a steakhouse.
Starting point is 01:06:00 You think it's the same Harry Carey? Mm-hmm. The Harry Carey's restaurant that was right next to Wrigley Field? Do you think that was the same Harry Carey? Coincidence.'s restaurant that was right next to Wrigley Field? Do you think that was the same Harry Carey? Coincidence. That was the Cubs announcer? We'd have to look. I don't know how we'd know that.
Starting point is 01:06:12 Does Dick still have a steakhouse here? Does Michael Jordan still have a steakhouse here? Michael Jordan does, yeah. Is it a good steakhouse? They all have restaurants, right? Pittsburgh has a run back. If you make three all-star teams or something, you can open a steakhouse. What is the lowest level athlete that gets a steakhouse?
Starting point is 01:06:27 I don't know. I went to Andre Dawson's frozen yogurt place. A.J. McCarron has a steakhouse. A lot of athletes who are subpar make restaurants. Tony Kukoc's ramen. He's not a subpar athlete, but I saw Emmitt Smith is opening a steakhouse in Vegas. Or a restaurant of some some sort i don't know just said coming soon emmett smith emmett's josh giddy's dino nuggets yeah that's yeah he does he just does kid cuisine
Starting point is 01:06:53 i met emmett smith at a signing one time at a you know pay 30 get your picture with him and i it's the only athlete that's ever done this. I walked up and said, hey, man, big fan. And he just stared forward. And I said, all right, you want to take a picture? And he just stared forward. And I put my arm around him, and they took the picture. I said, thanks, man.
Starting point is 01:07:16 He just stared forward. You were at a wax museum. Yeah. Brandon was at Madame Trusset. $30. He met Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and they all gave him the cold shoulder. Justin Bieber would look at him. It was SEC media days.
Starting point is 01:07:32 It was a big deal that he was there. And it was at night. And he talked to everybody else, but he did not talk to me. Every president was there? What? That would ruin my decade. It was bad. That sucks. How old were you? It happened in 2014. That would ruin my decade. It was bad. It sucks.
Starting point is 01:07:46 How old were you? It happened in 2014. I remember when it happened. Oh, you were too old. Wait, that's not meet nor greet. Why was it not meet nor greet? If he just sat there, that's not meeting or greeting. I greeted him.
Starting point is 01:07:59 You met in Gret, for sure. I have the picture, and he's just blank-eyed. You have the picture? I don't know where it is. It's a fine print where he doesn't have to meet or greet you. You just meet or greet him. Let me see if I can find it. Did he smile?
Starting point is 01:08:14 No, he didn't do anything. He just stood there like he was programmed to take a break during that moment. Hmm. I've got to find it. You have to get up to find it? Oh, you threw your phone because you were texting
Starting point is 01:08:27 Jeff D. Lowe. Are you guys, I got the new update and there's a feature in iMessage that records what you say and I do it accidentally every day.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Uh, yes. And then there's like, it's so easy to just send it. That's dangerous. Yeah. What is it? Every time I... Where are those?
Starting point is 01:08:45 Voice memo, right? No. Or voice to text. It's really easy to push. I don't even know how to do it on purpose. Yeah, my grandma's been doing that to me. The premier time to talk shit about someone is after they send you a text that you don't like.
Starting point is 01:08:59 It's gonna fuck me. Okay, so let me... You don't talk shit a lot, do you, Kyle? No. Let me try this it just you good brenda oh huh check check check i can't figure it out by the way my uh driving test yesterday was very simple. Oh, yeah? It was much ado about nothing. I walked in.
Starting point is 01:09:25 I said, I'm from out of state. I want a new license. They're like, here you go, sir. Well, you didn't take a test. I didn't have to take a test. I had to do the vision thing. You put your forehead on the thing and then read the line. That's it.
Starting point is 01:09:35 That was it. No written test at all. So, yeah. Yeah. Well, damn. Nothing to worry about for you guys when that time comes. Mine's not. My license expired, though, so I think I'm going to have to retake the test.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Oh. Yeah, that might be different. I don't know. But I think I would rather do the written test than the driving test. The driving test would suck. Yes. I couldn't parallel park right now. Can't at all.
Starting point is 01:09:58 The last time I parallel parked was my driver's test. I feel way more confident in telling you what I'm supposed to do, but then when you're driving, you're always breaking the law at all times. At all times, you're rolling through stop signs and fucking not turn signaling soon enough. Did you guys fail at all when you took it? I failed my first time. I failed the written one. I failed the written one.
Starting point is 01:10:18 Failed the written, passed, failed the actual driver's test the reason i had the fear yesterday was because when i turned 16 i was one of the older guys uh in my class you know i had like one of the first birthdays or whatever so like of all my friends i was one of the first guys to get their license or supposed to be and i i was the guinea pig i didn't realize how hard the indiana test was and there were questions about like semis with hot brakes and like oh shit you're supposed to put your turn signal on is it 200 feet before you turn 175 feet 150 so i went into it i was like i'm not gonna study this is gonna be fucking easy i missed like five or six you can only miss four i didn't get my license till two months after i turned 16 and then i got clowned by and then i told all my friends and then they studied and then they all got their license they
Starting point is 01:11:02 all think you're done they all think think I'm a dumb, dumb bitch. And maybe I am. And I've had to carry that with me for 20 years now. Were you a dumb bitch then? 21 years. You're not now? Holy shit. 21 years.
Starting point is 01:11:13 21 years I've carried that trauma. And I've got to be honest, I feel free now just getting that off my chest. Good for you. Yeah. Congratulations. So you're 37? I'm 37, yeah. What channel was 37 for you growing up? What year are you in 37? I'm 37, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:26 What channel was 37 for you growing up? What year are you in? What channel year? Great question. What's your channel year? I don't remember. That's got to be A&E or something. I have a guess, but not positive. Nickelodeon was 42.
Starting point is 01:11:35 That might be like history. I was a 36 Nickelodeon guy. Yeah. I was 29. 37 was probably. 29 was ESPN 2. ESPN was 12 for me. 36 was Nickelodeon. It was 37 TLC. 29 was ESPN 2. ESPN was 12 for me. 36 was Nickelodeon.
Starting point is 01:11:46 It was 37 TLC. It was? Yeah. I think it was. Yeah, it was. They used to not have, my TV used to not have ESPN and ESPN 2 by each other. It drove me crazy. That's horrible.
Starting point is 01:11:58 ESPN was 2 and then ESPN 2 was 47. ESPN 2 was 2 for you? No, ESPN was 2. ESPN was 2? I like that priority on ESPN.. ESPN 2 was 2 for you? No, ESPN was 2. ESPN was 2? I like that priority on ESPN. Ours was 21. Yeah. I don't know how it worked out that way.
Starting point is 01:12:11 Was ours 21? 27. 27. Who's this motherfucker? Channel 2. Yeah, this guy's getting a fucking tour, huh? AJ, I sent you that picture. You want me to stance up?
Starting point is 01:12:23 He just stood there the whole time. He looks happier than you, Brandon. he looked he just stood there the whole time he stood like that the whole time yeah he never moved he didn't reach out and touch the football he didn't reach out and touch anything touch my football with everybody else he held the other half of the football it was a dish meet and greet i guess maybe he was nervous maybe he's nervous to meet you i i don't know but i i was you look like someone how long you wait in line for this oh 25 minutes 30 minutes that's that's a while spent a hundred dollars yeah well i got a meal too it was a but it was a whole event whole event yeah
Starting point is 01:13:05 yeah subpar barbecue like a barbecue sandwich with baked beans did you go alone i did wow i did i was going to most things alone at that point yeah i feel that dude yeah yeah being alone's the best i love it it's It's elite and also awful. Yes. There are times when I'm like, I have no clothes on, I'm eating wings, watching my shit. And that's elite. That's elite. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:34 And then there's times where I'm like, I need to look at someone in the face. I need to talk to someone. I'm going crazy. What's the longest you've gone without human interaction? Like seven days. I think I've gone, when I was living in Columbus. I think longer than seven days. Yeah, I've gone a week.
Starting point is 01:13:49 Yeah. I bet you COVID, some people were doing months. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Some people are still going. I was alone for a good amount of COVID. My roommate fled to his shore house and just left me at our apartment for like six months. Motherfucker had a shore house?
Starting point is 01:14:03 Yeah. Why didn't you go? I kind of liked being alone. Yeah. being alone really and then i got i like i went crazy to dinner alone and i like going to movie dinner alone's great dinner with a book yeah i used to movies alone are the best movies alone or no are the best way to... No, I feel creepy. Really? Yeah, I feel like people think I'm the shooter. They do. But you're not. But any... If I see a solo guy rolling into a flick,
Starting point is 01:14:32 I'm looking for the exit signs. I just... I like watching a movie and not having someone tap me on the shoulder and say, who's he? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:39 When a character comes on screen for the first time. Yeah. So being alone is great for that. I don't love dinner alone. That's a thing. It's usually the opposite.
Starting point is 01:14:51 Like dudes love to tell their girl like, oh, that's... This is where Aragorn broke his foot when he was kicking the helmet. Yes. Yeah. I had a recent breakfast alone where I had my headphones on
Starting point is 01:15:04 and I was working through a breakfast special. That's nice. And it was a packed restaurant, and I was like, oh, I look like a psychopath right now. With the headphones in? Headphones in, mashing eggs together with home fries, fucking gulping on coffee. That's nice, though.
Starting point is 01:15:19 A good diner. It was. I take for granted going to bed at a reasonable hour and my girlfriend's function and getting me to go to bed at a normal time. I find when I'm alone, I will stay up until like 3 a.m., just sitting on the couch watching whatever's on television, and then I look up and I'm like, ah, shit, it's late.
Starting point is 01:15:38 I'm up until 2 or 3 every day. Yeah. And then it hits me. I'm like, why am I staying up late? Because she's not the one to be like, that's good. Oh, god damn it. It then it hits me. I'm like, why am I staying up late? Because she's not the one to be like, that's good. Oh,
Starting point is 01:15:46 god damn it. It's time for Ben. What? The guy who made the perfect sandwich video that relaxes me died today. Oh,
Starting point is 01:15:53 I remember him. The Irish guy? Rusty's the Irish sandwich man. That's sad. That was really good. Let's make a sandwich and don't cut it diagonal today for him.
Starting point is 01:16:04 What's today? It's a special day. June 25th? Yeah, June 25th will be that. That will be that day. Sandwich day. He's got to be the most famous guy to die on June 25th, surely. Yeah?
Starting point is 01:16:17 You have a – Surely there's no one. Who is – who? Is it JFK? Is this around Michael Jackson death day? Oh, it is Michael Jackson death day. Oh, nine? I remember where I was.
Starting point is 01:16:30 I left work. I was giving out putters at Foggy Bottom Mini Golf Course. I was working at the Daily Journal in Tupelo, Mississippi. I was in... I hated it. We got to hit a couple ads. We got five today. Why don't you relax?
Starting point is 01:16:42 Yeah, that was a bit much. But he said it like sexily, morning voice. We got five today. Why don't you relax? Yeah, that was a bit much. But he said it like sexily, morning voice. NASCAR Salutes concludes this weekend in Nashville. The entire racing community rallies around NASCAR Salutes to show appreciation and gratitude to veterans and the active, brave
Starting point is 01:16:57 men and women who fight to protect our country. NASCAR will be hosting troops from Fort Campbell at the race. Tune in on June 30th at 3.30pm Eastern on NBC. Don't miss NASCAR will be hosting troops from Fort Campbell at the race. Tune in on June 30th at 3.30 p.m. Eastern on NBC. Don't miss NASCAR and Music City. Tune in on Sunday, June 30th at 3.30 p.m. Eastern on NBC to watch Stars of NASCAR at Nashville's Super Speedway. All right, let's do your other real quick. What's Shea got for me?
Starting point is 01:17:23 It's birthday related. What's my... It's all birthday's birthday related what's what's my it's all birthday it describe your perfect birthday at this age uh not dying the perfect birthday the day itself yeah my perfect birthday uh is there uh what's your favorite type of birth oh hey oh what's your favorite type of birth? Oh, hey! What's up? I can't hear you. Uh-oh. Now, try again. Hi.
Starting point is 01:17:52 Beer Games update. Bad. Really bad. Like worse than Case Race? Yeah. Because the Case Race, at least I didn't lose till the end. All PFT and I have done is just lose.
Starting point is 01:18:09 How many events did you compete in? We've competed in two so far, but every event has so much fucking beer. We played flip cup with a full pitcher. How many beers deep? Two games. How many beers deep would you say you are?
Starting point is 01:18:25 Like 10 or less? Eight or nine. Wow. Oh, fuck. It's early. Like an hour. Oh, boy. I'm close to having to blow my nose. Well, luckily, I mean, you still have tomorrow to bounce back, right?
Starting point is 01:18:41 Don't the games continue tomorrow? Yeah, no, it's it's actually a week-long event oh how's the talent this was a good it's just all offensive linemen did you do the sit on it literally every single person we've gone up against is 300 pounds in a free cast. Yeah, that's tough to beat. I beat Quentin Nelson in the chug-off, though. Whoa. Is Tommy trying to climb the social ladder there? Yeah. Yeah, he's being a weirdo.
Starting point is 01:19:17 It's actually very uncomfortable being around him. Who's the drunkest? Drunkest so far? Probably Hank. Hank got added last night, and I've never seen someone's face drop harder when I told him that he was competing. He was so upset.
Starting point is 01:19:36 Was he at two or three? Yeah, he's had a beer and a half. Yeah, just fucking. Oh, Hank has a good face. So when are you back? Yeah, he's had a beer and a half. Yeah. Just fucking. Hang on. So when are you back? Thursday. We are interviewing Joe Burrow. That wasn't a ruse.
Starting point is 01:19:55 For real. But I really wish I was with you guys and not drunk in Nashville. With Waka Flock and Flame is way bigger than I thought. He's Basic guy. He's long. Yeah. Basically, I'm a small dude in this event. So then just do the
Starting point is 01:20:16 math on what PFT is. It's a bad scene. Oh, microscopic. Naked. Invisible to the naked eye. Are y'all playing country or rap? What? Music. What kind of Yeah. Invisible to the naked eye. Are y'all playing country or rap? What? Music.
Starting point is 01:20:28 What kind of music are we listening to? There's no music on right now. I don't know why. There should be music. This is a whole setup for Will and Taylor to invite people to beat them in beer games because they're somehow the one seed. So, yeah. But I'm having fun. I'm having fun with the boys i i miss you guys i wish i was with you guys um we're gonna probably play beer pong in a minute
Starting point is 01:20:51 get our ass kicked in that too i can't figure out my camera so if you have to blow your nose does that disqualify you or can you keep going um pft might have already had an allergy attack after the three beer chug oh no we're good. That should be an event in and of itself, the blow on your nose. That should be – I mean, that takes a certain skill. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Big Cat World. I agree.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Yeah. I agree. You won the gold medal. Taylor LeJuan owes me his famous sourdough starter. Can you ask me about that? He said he was going to mail me his sourdough starter. I got you. I got you.
Starting point is 01:21:24 I got you. Thank you. His house, too, is so nice. But then he has, like, people, like, if you walk in the door, they're like, hey, don't come in here. So. Like, people who live there? No, I think he has security.
Starting point is 01:21:37 He has, like, a cop out front. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. So we'll probably get arrested, too. Nice. All right. I miss you guys. I miss you, too, Kat. Yep. Good luck get arrested too. Nice. All right, I miss you guys.
Starting point is 01:21:45 I miss you too, Cat. Yep. Good luck, Big Cat. Best of luck. Go for broke. Go for islands and bounces. Don't worry about the simple game. Tweet a picture of you shooting a snot rocket.
Starting point is 01:21:56 Okay, all right, I will. And also, David Bakhtiari is probably going to beat me up, so that's going to suck. Yeah. He claimed I had beer on my shirt after the beer chug and i was like dude it's sweat you wouldn't know anything about it you've been on the ir so long and he was not happy about that oh yeah yeah i would do it this is a problem you get me drunk around guys bigger than me i'm gonna talk shit still and and it's going to end up bad. You getting beat up would be funny.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Come back here with the class. Yeah, I got beat up. Beer Olympics were good, but I got beat up. So funny. Casual beat up. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. What's up?
Starting point is 01:22:38 Physique. I didn't notice that. He's with Glennie Balls. He fucking advanced to the semis. Holy shit. He's Balls' teammate? Damn. Who's teammates with Balls. He fucking advanced to the semis. He's Balls' teammate? Damn. Who's teammates with Balls' teammates?
Starting point is 01:22:48 So many people dropped out at the last second. Yeah. Rick told me that he texted Will on Monday. He's like, hey, dude, am I supposed to be at the Beer Olympics? And Will was like, oh, shit, and then just sent him a flight. Oh, my God. All the best beer drinkers I've ever still made a deal. That would be fun as fuck if it was on your birthday.
Starting point is 01:23:04 Yeah. That's a good birthday party. That was awesome, maners I've ever still made. That's awesome. That would be fun as fuck if it was on your birthday. Yeah. That's a good birthday party. That was awesome, man. I'm having a great time, though. That sounds awesome. Yeah, thank you, Dan. All right. See you.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Unbelievable. So Will O'Compton just fucking hates my guts, huh? That's your association with Brandon. It has to be. That might be it for real. He fucking hates my guts. I won't take it personally. I still love Will. He seemed like a good level of drunk. Yeah. He fucking hates my guts. I won't take it personally. I still love Will.
Starting point is 01:23:25 He seemed like a good level of drunk. Yeah. He's having fun. I thought they were going to add you once Will Do It dropped out. Is Big Cat just a drunk now? Yeah, he's kind of on a run right now. He's inside a week. His days off from hammering beer were spent in the sphere.
Starting point is 01:23:44 That's right. So, like, he's drunk as fuck, beer were spent in the sphere. That's right. So he's drunk as fuck, go to Vegas in the sphere, drunk as fuck. Wow. Yeah, it's the last like five days. You still miss the sphere? Oh, dude, that's all I think about. That's why I'm so dejected on my birthday. It's like I can't even.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Late in time, that's right. It should have been on your birthday. It should have been on my birthday, yeah. I can make it up to you. You want to get dinner tonight? No. God. Imagine that, Titus. Wait, let's spin the wheel and see who has to buy Dave
Starting point is 01:24:16 that ashtray. I want to forget about that. I would get dinner with you someday, Mook. Let's do the wheel. I'm going to hit another ad, Shay. Is that okay? Mook's good conversation. Impro you know did you know you can get tickets to philly's cubs tonight for only 32 that's right thanks to game time the official ticketing partner of barstool sports you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets to all the sports the music the comedy and theater
Starting point is 01:24:40 events near you they have flash deals for sudden discounts zone deals for when you're feeling flexible and their lowest price guarantee which means if you can find the same seats for less We'll be right back. the game time app create an account use code yak for 20 off your first purchase terms apply download the game time app today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed all right we can spin the ashtray wheel or we can just tell dan that he shouldn't have to do it no dan's buying us the uh rotisserie chicken that's right that's right oh we should ask him he's so drunk he's gonna say yes He's going to say yes. He's going to say yes. Come on. Hey. Sit. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Oh, that's great. What sauce are you using for rotisserie chicken? I just like it. I like it by itself. You had to pick. Dude, I get a rotisserie, and I just hand grip it in the mouth. Make sure I get as much skin on as I can. You're going dry though?
Starting point is 01:25:45 I think I go dry too. Go on ranch. Ranch and hot sauce. Yeah, ranch is good. Uh oh. I'm still on there, huh? That's probably good because between me and you guys Big Cat's been saying he needs to curtail his spending a little bit. No.
Starting point is 01:26:03 There it goes. Come on! Clicky. Yes! Well, now I want it to be Danny Conrad. I want it to be Danny. Yeah. There we go.
Starting point is 01:26:15 I hope it's not Mook for his sake. I mean, I'm going to have to take out a fucking loan for this shit. That would be terrible. Yeah, but it's your boss, man. Dave doesn't know who I am. He thinks I'm Kyle. Enright. I hope not.
Starting point is 01:26:31 Oh. What were you about to say? Fuck Kyle. There you go, Moose. There you go, Moose. I want Danny. Or Kate. Kate would be great.
Starting point is 01:26:53 So do you send it to him and say thanks for being a great boss? Yes. Or do you wait for him to be here? You send it to him. And maybe some... A letter. A letter. Handwritten note, yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:27:04 Oh, perfect. Good on him. Perfect. Oh, my God. Is Ron right here? note, yes. Yes. Oh, perfect. Good on you. Perfect. Oh, my God. Is Conrad here? Yeah, he's here. Best of? Seven.
Starting point is 01:27:16 Seven. That was a seven, yeah. Oh, this is nice coloring. Yeah. Okay. Fuck. Okay. That's good
Starting point is 01:27:25 I want it to be Danny Right Yeah he's got one Oh No no no That's bad Now it's one one I want it to be you
Starting point is 01:27:33 Yeah You like uh Yellow and Green Lemon lime Sprites of Very good soda Since when are you a soda guy
Starting point is 01:27:44 I don't know why I said that. Fuck. If I do have to, I drink a Sprite. I don't know why you don't have to. Yes. Gun to my head. God damn it, Dan. Drink this fucking soda.
Starting point is 01:27:58 Kato will be good, though. Yeah. Two. 3-2 3-2 There it is Cade has to buy the standing ashtray For Dave I didn't watch the hockey game last night You should have There it is. Cade has to buy the standing ashtray for Dave. I didn't watch the hockey game last night.
Starting point is 01:28:29 You should have. Was it good? It was pretty great. It was pretty great? It was awesome. The last six minutes when it was 2-1 and the Oilers had the advantage and were all but scoring was thrilling. But then they just never scored. Do Nicky Smokes and Dave legitimately hate one another?
Starting point is 01:28:47 I think Dave nothings Nicky Smokes, and Nicky Smokes is playing the role a little bit. Yeah. Okay. Nicky Smokes throwing biz out of that bar was hilarious. Yeah. I don't know if you saw that, but. No.
Starting point is 01:29:00 What is he up to now? Well, he tweeted that he's not coming back for a while yeah he's like i'm partying all week i don't give a fuck okay which is very different from what he does normally yes and when he's here yeah what was the tweet that's exactly what i think that was i'm partying all week i don't give a fuck about work correct something like that i don't think he said the phrase about work i think it was, but it was in there. And then he just posted like a shirtless photo. Right now?
Starting point is 01:29:31 Yeah, like five minutes ago. The next day, a shirtless photo? There we go. Oh, an hour ago. Well, he's hairier than I thought. There was always cats at seven, bitch. Yes. He needs to keep hats on.
Starting point is 01:29:42 That hairline's not doing great. It'll be all right. Wait, scroll up? More? The video game? Oh, I thought he just had a towel on. I thought he was completely naked. That's a reckless move.
Starting point is 01:29:58 That can't be allowed. He's sober. I mean, good for smokes, I guess. This is... He deserves it. This is what he... Yeah. Trolling Dave is his one card to play, I guess.
Starting point is 01:30:12 Oh, what if that just... Floated away? Floated away. That'd be crazy. A Stanley Cup in Miami? Where's the... He did. He might have deleted it no way no way it's not there
Starting point is 01:30:30 oh there it is I don't all fuck week I don't give a fuck 4k's Kyle you would have tweeted this we're partying all fuck week ironically I don't give a fuck see all that. At three parade.
Starting point is 01:30:47 Back to Chicago. Congrats, Nicky Smokes. No. Why? His team won. Congrats, Big T. And Big T. Congrats, Big T.
Starting point is 01:30:59 Polar opposites, Big T here today. No, no, no. I got here at 830. Big T was today. No, no, no. I got here at 8.30. Big T was already here. Big T was in Omaha partying at 2.30 a.m. and was here at 8.00. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:31:14 Did he drive? He never went to sleep. Got a 5.45 flight and then was just here. It was the first thing I saw when I got here this morning. Beast. Angry Orchard's still on the breath. Yeah, his voice was gone. He had no voice, and he looked like he had been out drinking.
Starting point is 01:31:34 Best part of Tennessee winning is the Big T lighting the cigar video resurfacing. I love it. I'll watch it a thousand times every time I see it. The PFT fan cam of it was so good. Remember the noise you made? watched it a thousand times every time the pft fan cam of it was so good that's so good arian produced this beat no way oh really the trump shirt The Trump shirt. So good.
Starting point is 01:32:12 That's a sick shirt. It's awesome. Oh. it's awesome oh that video still shocks me too what a laser god damn he threw that thing hard uh Brandon give me give me a real assessment is is Big T actually I'm not being accusatory here I want I want a fair assessment do you think he actually does care about Tennessee baseball winning the national championship, or is this a case of I ultimately deep down want the football team or the men's basketball team, but I'll take what I can get? So I think he's just like me. I think I would take football and basketball first, but for his sake,
Starting point is 01:33:01 as long as that tee is playing, he's going to be all in for whatever. Seeing the orange be victorious. Seeing the Orange win, like Mr. State three years ago, if that's what we're going to win, I'm going to be there. Who's deep down at their core happier, Nicky Smokes or Big T? Big T. Big T by a mile.
Starting point is 01:33:17 Big T is happier for Tennessee. Nicky Smokes is just happier. Also, Omaha looks like a blast omaha is fucking elite that's all amazing yeah that's on like my bucket list now like that that that stadium is right in the middle right in the middle of downtown and surrounded by bars and restaurants like good bars and good restaurants and just it's a party every night and not like a wild crazy party but just like a good good mood party it's a crazy crop of people coming together. Yeah, it's eight fan bases, and they could be eight fan bases from eight parts of the country.
Starting point is 01:33:48 This year it was all the southeast, but it's just a great fucking time. Yeah. We were there for two weeks, DJ? What? I think it was 15 days. We went to like 22 baseball games. Saturday to Thursday. It was.
Starting point is 01:34:01 The next. And we did a live show every day. It was a lot. Yeah. I'm not on the act if I don't go to Omaha, though. It's true. Yeah, you're welcome. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:12 Oh, yeah. The global phenomenon is back. Prepare for a summer of dragons with the new season of the Golden Globe winning HBO original series House of the Dragon. The acclaimed series returns with more betrayal more shocking twists and of course even more dragons following the brutal murder of ryanra's son reneira's reneira's son house targaryen is split into two warring factions westeros is on the brink of civil war. With House Targaryen divided, the kingdom must choose to support King Aegon's claim to the Iron Throne
Starting point is 01:34:48 or back Queen Rhaenyra's return to power after she is sent to exile. There are two sides to every story, and when both sides have dragons, the choice is to bend the knee or burn. Don't miss the show everyone will be talking about on Sunday night. Season 2 of House of the Dragon is now streaming on Max. To go even deeper into the world of Westeros, listen to the official Game of Thrones podcast on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. It's been amazing so far.
Starting point is 01:35:14 It has. Every episode. I'm hooked. Very good. So good. Very, very good. I have big news. Yes.
Starting point is 01:35:23 This isn't going to be big news. This might be minuscule. This have big news. Yes, this isn't going to be big news. This might be minuscule. This is big news. I have been invited to the playpen. What playpen? The boats. The boat playpen. The Donald's play area for children?
Starting point is 01:35:37 No. The big boy boat. Oh, where all the boats are? Who invited you to the playpen? Who invited you? A human invited you? One of my boys. Your boy? In two weeks, I will you to the playpen? Who, a human invited you? One of my boys. Your boy? In two weeks, I will be at the playpen, and I need a fit. Oh, what is your fit?
Starting point is 01:35:51 Don't you just go shirtless with trunks? No. God forbid. It's going to be like 100 degrees out. That's why I think shirtless. That's why the shirt comes off. That's why it's more important that I find a shirt that is feasible for this occasion. Part of your fit should be doing the sunscreen on the nose.
Starting point is 01:36:08 Yeah, the zinc. Yes. Way too much sunscreen. Salute your shorts guy. I can see you rocking like a Reese's peanut butter cups t-shirt. Yeah. I know where they sell them. You know which one I'm talking about. I do.
Starting point is 01:36:27 It kind of looks aged. It's never looked good on a human. No, it's in that section at Target. At Target, yeah. What day is it? Saturday, July 6th. Does your boy got it like that? They're renting a boat.
Starting point is 01:36:45 Where are there going to be chicks on it? That's the worst t-shirt ever. Nobody's ever looked at that. I'll wear the Reese's shirt. Wear the Reese's shirt. You gotta do it. Kyle, I've never... Don't make your laugh.
Starting point is 01:37:01 That shit's so funny. That shit that I said. Yeah, right. Can I wear Crocs on a boat? No. Yes. White Crocs? No.
Starting point is 01:37:13 Yes. Are you wearing them to be funny? They have gibbets in them? No, I don't have flops right now. I only have Crocs. You could get flops between now and two weeks from now. No, two weeks isn't enough time for flip flops. I think that's the impulse purchase at a lot of checkouts.
Starting point is 01:37:29 That's why I'm bringing it up now. Nine bucks will get you some good flip flops. Okay. Get yourself some reef flip flops that have a bottle opener in the heel. I used to have so many pairs of those. Okay. Is there going to be girls on the boat? That's like the last thing I'd want to put at the top of my drink.
Starting point is 01:37:44 Or just dudes. Oh, really? Yeah. How do you know? That's like the last thing I'd want to put at the top of my drink. Or just dudes. Oh, really? Yeah. How do you know? It's like a split. Girls you know? No. No.
Starting point is 01:37:50 So the Reese's shirt. The Reese's shirt. That'll get me in. Wait. That'll get me in. Should we have another candy swim trunks? Not Reese's, though. Sour Patch Kids.
Starting point is 01:37:59 The Oreos. The Oreos. No, the Oreos socks. Oreo socks. And let's get them a crunch bar. TJ, can you see if there's a crunch bar? There's crunch. There's no way.
Starting point is 01:38:14 There's got to be crunch. And then I need like a Klondike bucket. That's not a candy bar, though. That wouldn't make any sense. Introduce yourself as the candy man to all the girls. I'm the candy man. No, you'd be like. I didn't even realize that's all I have clean.
Starting point is 01:38:27 A baby looking for a snack. Crunch wrap. Just search for candy swim. I'll let you guys fit me out. I want you to be candied. Okay. Gummy bears? I want a brand name
Starting point is 01:39:00 buy the reese's cup shirt please i will i'll get it tonight like even if you google search that it's tough to find somebody in a in it because it looks so bad i don't know how they sell it i don't think i've ever seen anyone wear it. They're out. I have in high school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did once.
Starting point is 01:39:13 You had the Reese's Cup shirt? No, I saw someone wearing it accidentally. Oh, okay. I had a Dr. Pepper shirt. That was one of them, and then the Mountain Dew. Kanye wore one. Kanye wore one? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Oh, wait. I had a Dr. Pepper shirt and a Tough Guy wearing a pink shirt. Oh, no. Oh. Yeah. Someone else wore it.
Starting point is 01:39:32 Oh, I remember the real men wearing pink shirt. Somebody here? Real men wear pink. A victim. Oh. I think I had a pink shirt phase. Who's the victim?
Starting point is 01:39:42 Trayvon Martin. Oh. He rocked it not the one I was talking about alright Nick you want to do the high noon not really right now
Starting point is 01:39:58 the bask in the silence I don't know alright The bask in the silence. One person's... I don't know. Alright. You just could have not said that. Alright. High Noon. Introducing High Noon's all new vodka iced tea.
Starting point is 01:40:21 It's time to finally ditch their sugary malt based teas. You alright? It's not funny. It's just that it caught me off guard. And try high nude vodka iced tea made with real vodka and real iced tea. It's non-carbonated
Starting point is 01:40:31 with no added sugar and 90 calories. Quit it, Brandon. I'm not doing it. You're laughing. High nude vodka iced tea is great for any occasion under the sun.
Starting point is 01:40:41 It comes with four delicious flavors. You gotta try it. Original peach limited raspberry. Visit highnoodspears. It comes with four delicious flavors you can try. Original peach lemon and raspberry. Visit highneatspears.com to find a pack near you. Oh, I struggled. God, look at my hair. What did my hair do? That's why I was laughing.
Starting point is 01:40:53 You look like you just got fucked. What? Dog. You got sex hair. You just got your back blown out. I'm going to get it cut right after this show. You going to funk? I'm going to Funk. Nice. Funk got Major Uncle. Yeah, he's going to beard me, too.
Starting point is 01:41:09 He's bearding you? Mm-hmm. Nice. And I still got to, because my goddamn uncle didn't tell me, but he said Brandon's going to take care of it. I still got to pay him $100 for my uncle. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:21 So do they pour up whiskey and liquor for you? They can yeah Yeah Also have a Bathroom with nothing but Playboy models On the walls Naked?
Starting point is 01:41:33 Yeah Nice Old ones with Bush Oh yeah? Mm Have you guys ever Seen the show alone? I have
Starting point is 01:41:42 Yes Thinking about getting into it? Is it I heard it's really good. Really good. Yeah. I need a show to get in. Desperate Housewives is so good.
Starting point is 01:41:53 Season four. I just finished season four. Have you got to the part where the plane crashes? Nope. I think you're thinking of Lost. No, he's not. Because I know it happens.
Starting point is 01:42:02 The plane crash? I think it... Desperate Housewives? I think a plane crash and it ends up killing one fetus of a twin in a belly my best friend alan watched that show religiously it's really good i was so into it and then when that happened i was like i don't i'm in the part where eva longoria is supposed to be ugly because her husband's blind but they she's not yeah what her husband went blind Because he got hit by a rock
Starting point is 01:42:25 And a tornado That makes sense Another guy got impaled With a fence pass Didn't they live in California No they live in the Eagle State Which is a fictional state In the United States
Starting point is 01:42:34 Oh okay Where's that at Where do you think it is I bet you it would be On the I don't know Eagle State The west coast I'd imagine
Starting point is 01:42:44 Well if it's got tornadoes it needs to be somewhere shit it does yeah off the west coast there's a city called Fairview Wisteria Lane
Starting point is 01:42:51 yeah I started Jersey Shore last night what's up hey I have something oh
Starting point is 01:43:00 oh happy birthday Titus happy birthday Titus we knew all along. Yes. Oh.
Starting point is 01:43:08 Isn't that nice? We got you your favorite barstool merch. Thank you, everyone on this show. Oh, we got cookies. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, cookies. I like cookies. Always be talking about cookies.
Starting point is 01:43:24 Fucking love cookies. We got one. Oh, yeah, cookies. You'll always be talking about cookies. Fucking love cookies. We got one Uncrustable. Nice. Haven't had one of these since yesterday. That one's yours. Oh, okay. And then Top Gun Maverick on Blu-ray. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Wow, that's very nice. Thank you, guys. Let's watch it. Let's just put it in. Let's pop it in. Fucking watch it. I am obsessed with Top Gun Maverick
Starting point is 01:43:46 Is that a used copy? No it's still wrapped Those used cookies? It might be Okay it's in there It's in there It's just the box Yeah
Starting point is 01:43:59 Do you want You want us to sign it? Yeah Actually yes The whole Everybody here to sign it Should we put the, yes. The whole, everybody here to sign it. Should we put the Uncrustable in the rat trap? Oh, yes.
Starting point is 01:44:12 Probably why they brought it in. Yeah. It's really all there. Okay, let's see here. Go ahead. We got a Sharpie around? Oh, no. We should have a Sharpie as much as we sign things.
Starting point is 01:44:25 There's a box of Sharpies behind you, Brandon. I'll get them later. All right. Do I unwrap the Uncrustable? That's the question. Right? I don't know. I feel like it might just break right through.
Starting point is 01:44:37 I think you're going to want to see that fruit come out, and the wrapper might be a problem. We want maximum, yeah. Squirt jelly. Yeah, we want the squirtage. We want maximum... Yeah, I want it to squirt jelly. Yeah, we want the squirtage. We want the squirtage. I want the squirtage. Who lied about the sharpie? I want the squirtage if I want to.
Starting point is 01:44:58 This is going to be sweet. We could get jelly in our face. Yes. That would be... This could bust all over my face. God fucking damn it! It's the worst birthday ever. Do you think this rat trap is out? I don't think you can, man.
Starting point is 01:45:22 No, I think it'll break. Maybe Uncrustables are just bad motherfuckers. is out. I can put my hand in there. I don't think you can. No, I think it'll break. That's it. What, what, the rat trap is broken. Maybe Uncrustables are just bad motherfuckers. Is it cold? Maybe. It's a little cold, yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:31 It still should destroy it. That's it. Oh, man. That sucks. Why eat it like that? I think it's worn out. It's the worst birthday ever.
Starting point is 01:45:44 I want to see a. I want to see it on cross the board. What a jelly to squirt. TJ, you want to spin the wheel? The actual wheel? Hell yeah. Go watch Top Gun Maverick tonight, maybe. You think so?
Starting point is 01:45:59 Now all I need is a Blu-ray player. You didn't ask for that. I'd like to point something out. Wet. Tow. Oh, that would have been a great birthday gift. I suppose all of us whipping you. Roan told us it's over.
Starting point is 01:46:17 Mousetrap should be off the wheel. He said that was the last show with Mousetrap. Oh, yeah, he did say that. Roan said Mousetrap was off the wheel on the case race. You were 21 beers deep. Yeah. Mousetrap should not be on the wheel. It was designed by You didn't say that during the case race. Yes, he did. No, he didn't. He very much did.
Starting point is 01:46:33 I would have remembered it. I don't have to remember it at all. I was sober. But I would have remembered it. I remember it vividly. Mousetrap has to come off the wheel because Roan said it. Did a part of you want to be drinking? Yeah. A part of me wanted to be in the mix how many would you have taken down two uh best case scenario between like six and eight damn that's best case i'm very similar to kyle when it comes to drinking have you ever blacked out an ailment um yeah mine's just being
Starting point is 01:46:59 a pussy uh i think um yeah i've blacked out do you think you'll be able to put down like 15 once you get your surgery? I'm super excited slash curious to see what changes. A Botox shot. Apparently it opens up the floodgates. You start burping for the first time in your life like a lot. You want that? Well, it provides relief. Like I can't drink carbonated beverages.
Starting point is 01:47:22 Yeah. Even like a Sprite. I can't imagine not being able to burp over that. You hear like when my stomach makes those like dinosaur sounds and growls. Like that, it's horrible. It hurts. It's very uncomfortable. There's the boys.
Starting point is 01:47:39 Have a good one, brother. That was a lot. Did you want to see your intro video that they made for you in the event that you did participate? Oh yeah. Kinda. Am I going to get mad at it? Okay.
Starting point is 01:47:54 Oh, all right. Big daddy. I love this. Pretty cool. Yeah, not bad. Damn good. Brandon Walker's now the king of the south.
Starting point is 01:48:19 King of the fucking south forever. Oh, yeah. Oh, was I getting an asshole? There was an asshole right at the end. A nice little touch. They made you so big. Yeah. Well, I'm a big old boy. You are a big old boy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:32 All right. Y'all ready to get on? Yeah, yeah. What? What you got? Do you know any black Jacks? Black people named Jack. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:48:40 Jack Johnson, first black heavyweight champion of the world in the 20s? Yes. I had that. Any alive? Alive black Jacks. Jack. Jack Black is not black. Bo Jackson.
Starting point is 01:48:55 Jack Jackson. Jackie Robinson. Dead. Yeah, he is. He definitely is. He's dead. Let's leave it at that. Jack. Jack definitely is. He's dead. Jack. Let's leave it at that. Huh? Jack.
Starting point is 01:49:07 Jack Harlow. No. The fuck? Whoa. What a call. Wow. All right. All right.
Starting point is 01:49:19 We'll be back tomorrow. Miles Jack. That's the yak. What a walk-off. We'll be back tomorrow. Bye.

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