The Yak - Nick's Making it on Every Band's Wikipedia Page | The Yak 11-21-23
Episode Date: November 21, 2023Tommy Walker. GOAT.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Hey, boys.
What up?
Little last day of school vibes in here.
Yeah, feels like last day before Thanksgiving break.
It does feel like that.
It feels a lot like that.
Both of those are real similar feelings.
Feels like last day before Christmas break.
Like last day before spring break.
Whoa, yeah.
Last day before summer.
Did Tommy say he didn't give a damn that his grandpa died?
Yeah.
Should I care?
Should I care, yeah.
And what did you say?
That goes hard.
I was pretty much, I was speechless at that point.
Yeah.
We've ever, in fairness to Tommy, we've never actually talked about his grandfather dying.
I just think-
Wait, he didn't know that he did?
No, he knew he died, but-
How soon after the event? We never actually discussed it oh we never actually wait was that
like an authentic question should i care where he like really needed to talk through it with you
probably care i probably should we were just laughing our ass off yeah he genuinely wanted
to know if he should care dad should should i care no he he said it was some edge to it he knew
what he was what did you say back?
I didn't say anything.
I think I transitioned.
Should he care?
So he doesn't care.
You didn't tell him to care.
No.
As of now, he does not care.
But he could care if told to care.
I'll work on the caring.
I'm not sure if I care.
You want me to go tell him that he should care?
About his grandfather dying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, do you want me to have you father my kid?
Is that what you just asked?
In all mourning.
You let him play with your swords.
Yeah, Nick kind of running around.
You let my other kid play with... The son that you're very protective of, you don't show him on camera.
I gave him two of my sharpest.
Did he almost...
They're the blades of chaos from God of War.
To be honest with God's truth, he walked back in.
I said, did you have fun? He said, yeah, but I didn't get to kill anybody
Damn, man
Wait, that was your other kid?
Yeah, I have two kids here today
Oh, I thought that was just like a neighborhood boy
That boy looks nothing like you
He looks like me, he just doesn't look like Tommy
Tommy looks like you
Yeah
Well, the third one, we're talking about people that aren't here
Which is great, great YouTubing.
Tommy looks like you birthed him.
No, the third boy.
Yeah, out of your pussy.
Out of your, yeah.
It looks like you, like a single-celled organism, you split off and that was him.
Yeah.
Like I asexually reproduced?
You did.
Okay.
Life finds a way.
Yes, it does.
Yes, it does.
I was asexual until I was like 22.
Really?
That just means virgin, right?
No. No, no. You weren't attracted
to women. That means you had no urges.
I wasn't attractive to women, correct.
I was
asexual
for a little bit. I'm going through it
right now. Yeah, it's just phases.
I don't want to touch anyone.
So you just don't get pussy.
What's the phase what what's the
phase not getting not getting dry spell it's michael scott going 28 years without having sex
and then another seven a sexual phase yeah it's just a dry spell i just i just don't want it you
know how long is a dry spell a spell uh because like six months isn't a spell anymore, right? That's a straight on.
You don't fuck.
Half a year.
Correct.
I guess there are circumstances where you're not trying to fuck.
Like maybe you're just like.
You're waiting for something to heal.
When are we not trying to fuck?
Yeah.
I've been there.
I'm not going through a dry spell.
I'm waiting for this growth of the shaft of my penis to stop seeping.
I'm just waiting something out.
Not a big deal.
I'd fuck you right now, but I'm oozing a little bit.
I got it from here, boys.
Let me just...
No, because dry spell is probably a month, and then then a drought is i'm trying to think of this
but a dry spell implies you were fucking before the month like regularly right yeah but so when
does the dry spell let as soon as I finish?
No, because it's not dry yet.
It hasn't dried.
When does it dry up?
It hasn't dried.
I think the answer to this question depends on your age, too.
Yeah.
It's all relative.
Because a month, like, honestly, like, yeah, a month could come and go,
and I wouldn't even know.
Well, let me ask you this.
Yeah, honestly.
Let me ask you this.
Shit, dude.
I've accidentally.
Has it been a month?
Shit, I guess so, yeah. If you go six go six months without have it once and go six months without i didn't
really end the dry spell yeah it did it was just a momentary if you spent six months wanting pussy
badly yeah and you finally get it yeah that that is the dry spell yes okay all right yeah that's
like saying you're dying of thirst and you find an oasis in the desert. But it's only one glass of water.
After six months.
That'll save your life.
And then you get it once.
But that glass of water hits.
I'm walking on sunshines playing on loop in my head as I'm walking down the street for
the next three months.
Yeah.
Yeah, you have post-sex glow for six months after that.
I'm walking on sunshines, a very underrated happy song.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I like to play that often.
I heard it as somebody's ringtone
when's the last time you heard somebody's ringtone by the way i heard it as somebody's
ringtone in the antique shop the other night i just realized i'm very old i wish i didn't
so i heard walking on sunshine as someone's ringtone in the antique shop yeah do people
have ringtones anymore do you think anybody in this office has a custom ringtone i i don't have
a ringtone i used to pay like 275 for ringtone my phone hasn't made a noise in months oh no i turn it on loud when i go to bed actually just
in case there's an emergency oh i guess my alarm she's a 10 but she has a ring back we call her
she's an 11 man and it plays unwritten by natasha as you're waiting for her to pick up the phone
i think mine was a kiss me through the phone was it in like seventh grade i forgot about those too yeah dude yeah that was a powerful move just
having somebody listen to the song of your choice while they waited for you to pick up yeah did you
ever have custom ringtones for like different friends i think i did yeah my first custom
ringtone ever was are you gonna be my girl by jet i i jet is my ringtone as well and that was and then i had
the tecmo bowl theme song there it is and then and that you could tell exactly where the dry
spells happened in that time yeah which is when tecmo bowl was ringing every time a girl would
call uh i had uh how to save a life by the fray and it went off in front of my uncle and he was
like what are you a gay he was like, what are you, a gay? He was, like, very disappointed in me.
Calling somebody a-gay versus what are you, gay is worse.
A-gay.
What are you, a gay?
They're so straight, they don't know how to call you gay.
Yeah, they're confused.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you, a gay?
I'm using that today.
I might say that to Tommy on the way out.
To your own boy.
Yeah, I might.
What are you, a gay?
What if he's like, yeah?
Well, then. Yeah, what would you do?
He's got to walk to Wisconsin?
I'm on camera right now.
I would accept my son.
Everything, every choice that he makes, that's what I would do.
The wink was a little much, wasn't it?
Gay son or thought daughter.
Gay son or Alabama son.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? son or thought daughter gay son or alabama son why why why why um big cat'll be along shortly
yeah right kyle's gone home kyle's in naples florida naples florida that sounds lovely
that's way down there i like nipples florida better oh shit like like titty nipples yeah yeah where's naples way down past tampa and sarasota
on that side it's on the gulf side yeah okay yeah but it's it's almost all the way down to the tip
it's almost at the head keep going it's almost it's it's yeah yeah you gotta ride down to naples
and back up and down there quick. Oh. Yeah.
You ever been to Everglades City?
I want to go to the Everglades.
It sucks.
Does it?
Yeah.
Why do you want to go to the Everglades?
What do you do there? I just love the idea of the Everglades.
Just ride around on an airboat?
I want to go bass fishing in the Everglades.
Yes.
I want to go bass fishing in the Everglades.
That's my dream.
There's like brain-eating parasites in the water.
There's parasites everywhere.
You cut out brain-eating, which is the most important part. Are the everglades like the bayou is that a similar vibe yeah it's
just not as low the bayou is low what do you mean by low i don't know it just feels lower on on
earth the everglades feel higher okay in my mind anybody with a like a creole accent
uh i never really my part of mississippi is not close enough to louisiana but i did live
in louisiana for six months uh in 2006 and i got it's a different world yeah where they talk like
that i can't understand it it's pretty louis louisiana as a state is the biggest its own
world state that we have without a doubt it is it is you get down there and there are people that
probably couldn't function in other states.
I think studying law there is very different.
Really?
Like, if you want to be a lawyer there, it's way different.
You study alligator law?
I think it's alligator law.
Like, incest law?
Like, a big focus?
Maybe.
Yeah.
I can't really talk on that.
How do they talk?
What is their accent?
Yeah, West Virginia, Mississippi.
We can't really talk on that.
Yeah, you guys are.
Yeah.
In Indiana. Oh, yeah. Where can't really talk on that. You guys are, yeah. And Indiana.
Oh, yeah.
Where are you from?
Philly.
So none of us can.
Yeah.
Philly's not.
Come on now.
Oh, that's sad.
Do you feel bad?
Two minutes of sports talk.
Do you feel bad that the Eagles are obviously not a good team,
but you somehow luck into these wins?
Eagles are very good.
Get the fuck out.
We win games. You get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. We win games.
You get the fuck out.
Good teams find a way to win games.
Is that true?
They find a way for the other team players to –
Name a better team than the Eagles in the NFL right now.
Good games.
Good teams close out games.
I don't know.
That's what we did.
We closed it out.
We won.
Did you close it out, or Marquez Scandling Valdez just dropped the ball?
It's a game of inches, Brandon.
Anything could happen. I don't think it is. Oh, dropped a ball. It's a game of inches, Brandon. Anything could happen.
I don't think it is.
Oh, it fully is.
It's like 120 yards.
There was a game on Thursday that was a game of inches.
When, was it Lamar got stuffed at the one or something?
I forget, but.
Good point.
Yeah.
Good point.
Good teams find a way to win.
That's what the birds do.
Are you going home for Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
Going home today.
Are you going home?
I'm already home, brother. Yeah. Wow. Me too. I bring home to win. That's what the birds do. Are you going home for Thanksgiving? Yeah. Going home today. Are you going home? I'm already home, brother.
Yeah.
Wow.
Me too.
I bring home to me.
Yeah.
I'm going to Rochester this weekend for one day.
Twelve hours.
How are you getting there?
Taking a plane.
You nervous?
Horrified.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
What were you going to say?
Why?
You asked me if I'm going home, and I just froze for a second because like i don't even know like what age is going home no longer go i don't know like because i was like
why like what do you mean by going home and i realized you meant none of us back to my parents
house none of us are native to here right so going back where your parents live to have thanksgiving
right that's going home but no but yeah but when you said home, I was like, yeah, I'm going to go home.
I know you have a house here.
Yeah, but I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm saying the psychology of my brain that it never even registered.
When does home become where you are?
When you said go home, I was like, yeah, no shit, I'm going to go home.
I'm going right down the road.
Home to me becomes as soon as I move somewhere.
Yeah.
Where I'm from stays the same.
You could ask me, what time are you going home today? I know what you mean. same. You could ask me,
what time are you going home today?
I know what you mean.
But then if you ask me,
are you going home for Thanksgiving?
It's two totally different meanings. Yeah, Brandon learned context.
But I get them both.
Is that what that's called?
And what I'm telling you
is I've never really thought about it
until you just posed the question to me,
are you going home?
And it broke my brain for a second
because I was like,
what does he mean?
And then I realized,
holy shit,
this is the first time this has happened to me.
So I'm a thought starter for you.
Yes, yes.
Your brain doesn't get going until Brandon Walker gets it going.
I'm going to go back to my house and have a little bit of a crisis
as I work through.
Matt Canada got fired this week.
Yeah, he did.
Quietly.
Ball talk, ball talk.
I'm a Pittsburgh fan.
I know.
Grew up outside of the area, right there.
Sure.
Is firing an offensive coordinator, people are acting like it's a cure-all.
It ain't.
No, it just makes people feel better for about five seconds.
Okay.
And then you're going to get there Sunday, you're going to score 13 points.
They're not bringing in anybody from the outside.
It's going to be the same.
What do you mean from the outside?
They're not hiring a coach from the outside right now.
They're going to finish off the season.
No, they've got to finish off the season.
They're going to give somebody else internally a shot, though.
They've been saying to themselves, okay, well,
Canada's been holding us back.
The guy behind him knows the problem, so he's got a chance to fix it.
You have to do something, right?
You have to do something.
But Kenny Pickett's just not good enough.
I don't think he's good at all.
I think Kenny Pickett can be good.
Small hands. But you can't. Smells like cabbage. You're not going to bench Kenny Pickett because just not good enough. I don't think he's good at all. I think Kenny Pickett can be good. Small hands.
But you can't.
Smells like cabbage.
You're not going to bench Kenny Pickett because he's the backup.
Kenny Pickett?
Trubisky's still there?
Yeah.
He's the backup?
Yeah, so you're not going to bench Kenny Pickett.
You're not.
So you have to do something.
And even though this isn't going to fix it.
Yeah, it's not going to fix it, but it's still like.
It might give you some juice.
Yeah. It might give you a little juice. You want some juice? fix it. Yeah, it's not going to fix it, but it's still like... It might give you some juice. Yeah.
It might give you a little juice.
You want some juice?
I do.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's just my friend group is celebrating.
Don't know if it's really causing...
When you're firing somebody on the personnel,
that means things are going badly.
When you're a losing franchise, you take all the wins you can get.
Not a losing franchise.
Steelers are very much not a...
I'm talking this year.
I'm talking this season.
Still not.
They're 6-4?
Yeah.
7-4?
9-1.
Oh, so that's what you're doing?
Are we going to compare the legacies
of the Eagles versus the Steelers?
You're looking down on everybody?
Last 5, last 10?
Because Marquez, Valdez, Scanlon can't catch.
You're looking down on everybody. One play? Dak ten. Because Marquez, Valdez, Scanlon can't catch. You're looking down on everybody.
One play?
Dak Prescott steps out of bounds.
One pretty big play.
One play.
One pretty big play.
There's a play.
There's a million plays in a game.
That's not true at all.
That's not true.
That is not true.
There are not a million plays in a game.
I would go ahead.
I don't think there's been a million plays this season.
No chance, dude.
I don't think that's a bold claim at all.
I don't think that would be bold.
Wait, how many plays are in an NFL season?
Let's find out.
All right, so there's –
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I want to know what the NFL play was.
You're spoiling a dozen.
I just did this last night with Jeff D. Lowe.
This is the new category.
How many plays are in a –
This is round 12 question in a tie game.
What was the millionth NFL play?
I wonder what the millionth nfl play really was it was when uh simpson the wide receiver for the bengals did that front flip
into the end zone you would know that yeah i'm guessing man i just thought that would be the
sickest million play i would have believed you yeah no it's going to be something mundane we
might not have had a million plays yet i think let's talk this out let's use four big brains again again there's 256 games there's an
easier way like obviously we could look stuff up but let's the four of us put our brains together
how many plays in a football game 100 average of 151 150 average of 151 total average of 151. So let's use that as an average, okay? Yeah. So 151 times...
Quick maths.
17.
But it's been 16 forever.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, boy.
So 151 times 10 would be...
10.
15.
I have to do it in tens, and then I have to go add a seven.
So it's 151 times...
Who said you could use a calculator?
Can't use a calculator? What's your goddamn phone number?
We're using our brains. That's what we said.
I'm going to Google how many plays are in a year.
Yeah, that's...
Oh, never mind. These boomers want to take
the long way.
Leave it to the mostly sports guys to want to do it the right
way. The right way. Look at us
just trying to yak it up. Yes, that's what we're trying
to do. Fucking idiots. Big Cat said he would be late so he will be here i i didn't want to break this
i don't want to break the glass but i could bring tommy later but tommy did have a star
making performance on mostly sports i kind of want to leave that yeah yeah um somebody some
some mathematician tweet us thank you there are 272 games, which I was close.
Every resort is about games.
Nobody is doing plays.
Well, okay, so 272 times 151 seems like that would be...
That's in one season.
Right.
Then we worry about season.
251 times...
272 times 151.
People at home are just pissed off right now. 272 times 151. Yeah some people at home are just pissed off right now 272 times yeah but
there's not a single there's not a single goddamn person watching that's using their brain all right
let me go person that's pissed off is using their calculator so there's 41 000 plays a season
roughly 41 000 which means in 10 seasons there's four there have not been a million plays no there
have yeah there has because there's been there's 410,000 every 10 years.
410,000?
Yeah.
41,000 times 10 is 410,000.
Oh, there's been one million plays.
So 20 years.
20 years.
So about 25 or 26 years is a million plays.
Yep.
And the first year of NFL football was 27 years ago, I think.
But there's also a million plays in one game as well
what is god damn it was right when was super bowl one uh 1967 so it was 1992 it was the
millionth play somewhere around then like yeah but the nfl existed before the super bowl
a long time before the super it didn't it doesn't count yeah integration well yeah that doesn't it
doesn't count before that no the, it doesn't count before.
No, the NFL as a league existed a long time before the Super Bowl.
That doesn't count.
Okay, that doesn't count.
Then why do they have the Super Bowl?
Somebody figure out the millionth point.
Because it's the Super Bowl.
Are you allowed to say that?
We're going to get this shit taken down.
Oh, I was describing a bowl.
Oh, okay.
And how great they are as utensils.
They are fantastic. Oh, I meant How great they are. They are fantastic.
Oh, I meant the eating cereal kind.
Or ice cream. What would you say you eat out of a bowl?
Soup? The most? Yeah. Cereal.
Cereal? Yeah.
Chipotle.
You're just throwing
wrenches left and right. Yeah, yeah.
Chucking grenades in the middle of this little fire
here. What do we have to do for Black
Friday?
We're wearing this. Yeah. Yeah, we're wearing
this. We all got Yak shirts on, correct?
I got my pizza hot socks on. They're not in
the store, but they're cool. They are cool.
I should have grabbed a pair when I was there. You didn't steal a pair?
No. I took three. On our Black Friday
schedule, we have Season 11 coins coming out on Friday.
Oh, yeah.
And then on Monday...
I wrote the copy for the Season 11 coins again, who I did the 10.
Yeah.
I promised our most passionate kiss yet.
Tommy!
They're very cool.
They double as a bottle opener.
They're very cool.
Where's the...
The book is Monday?
Monday is book day.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
What, do we have an audio book for that?
So we have, I'm getting notes from legal on what we're allowed to advertise and what we're allowed to talk about on the book.
So I don't want to say too much.
What if we were the bad boys and just talked about whatever?
Then they might pull the book.
Pull the book?
I'd like to see them try.
What happened to freedom of speech?
Freedom of the book.
Why?
What?
I'm trying to think through what could possibly be the issue.
I think it's because it's sexually explicit.
But we planned the whole thing on this show.
You can't make sexually explicit books?
No, but it's how we advertise it. You can't make sexually explicit books? No, but it's
how we advertise it.
We have a guy
named Howie.
Is this the number
one controversy
in this company's history?
Yes.
This is the biggest
thing that's ever happened.
It is funny going
from advertising
a video game,
a children's video game,
to a sexually explicit book.
I'm thinking back to what I wrote.
Times were different when I wrote my book.
And a lot of mine is set in Gaza.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mine featured...
You're trying to think of somebody that died?
Correct.
You don't want to be somebody that died tragically?
I was trying to do recent celebrity deaths.
I was Googling recent celebrity deaths in my mind.
Mine featured...
You mean Bob Knight.
Bob Knight.
I was Googling in my mind.
Mine featured Bob Knight heavily.
No, how long ago did he die?
Like, last week?
Yeah.
You're fucked.
I probably would still feature him.
I wouldn't stop.
I ass-fucked Matthew Perry in my life.
Oh, yeah, there we go.
There you go.
That's what you're looking for, yeah.
All right, so Tommy's just playing soccer.
If you hear a noise in the background, sorry.
Tommy's just out there playing ball.
Keep going.
You're good.
You're good.
Did he listen to yesterday's episode where you said what you were getting him for
christmas no he didn't okay nice no he didn't what uh what are they setting up over here with
all the tables that's the uh black friday the the monday cyber monday cyber monday cyber monday
telethon and it's but i don't understand why they're doing it now because that's what i was
they started setting it up yesterday and i was very confused by we are gonna have a basketball game to a thousand
and we're drafting teams for that today right yeah on this show yeah are we playing in it
tommy just did a bicycle kick i'm sorry no i'm coaching it against mark titus okay hank's gonna
come explain the rules in full but basically all the behind the scenes people after the yak on
monday before the cyber monday telethon are going to be playing in a basketball game chaos basketball game to a
thousand points there'll be many games worth like hundreds of points and the winning team gets a
bunch of extra money i want tommy to be my uh assistant gm i want him to be in here help draft
he can help you draft i'm on the roster? Yeah. I believe it's 26 people.
You're playing this?
You're behind the scenes and also not behind the scenes.
How'd you pull that off?
I don't know.
I'm just here.
I don't know what's happening most of the time.
But it's good to be here.
Do you find your transition of behind the scenes and in front of the scenes difficult sometimes?
Yes.
Oh, I was just kidding i
can't possibly be my transition has been yeah awkward fun you can tell i mean the mustache is
coming in poorly i like pop up you're being mean to me i'm not being mean to you i just
no that was no no no i got my real boys here i'm just trying to put on yeah is there any envy from
the other boys no because i have another boy here and he'm just trying to put on. Yeah. Is there any envy from the other boys?
No, because I have another boy here, and he does not want to be on camera.
I don't want him to be on camera. So he's just playing Super Mario Wonder in the-
You know what's crazy about that boy?
Yeah.
He's black.
Yeah.
What?
It's not that crazy.
I mean, I had a good time.
I had a good time a few years ago. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's not that crazy. I mean, I had a good time. I had a good time a few years ago.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
It's not your wife's?
I live my life the way I live my life.
That was your manager at Radio Shack.
Yeah.
Every time we laugh about KB being a black uncle,
we never mention me being a black dad.
Black daddy.
Not once.
Whoa, black daddy.
The one who stepped up.
Who sings that? Black Betty. The one who stepped up. Who sings that?
Black Betty.
Ram Jam.
Ram Jam.
No, that's not Ram Jam.
I think it's Ram Jam.
Oh, Black Betty.
Whoa, Black Betty.
It's Ram Jam.
It's Ram Jam.
That's the name of the band?
Ram Jam.
I thought it was somebody famous.
No, you know who I think it is? Black Rose. I think it was somebody famous. No, you know who I think it is?
Black Crowes.
I think it's Ram Jam.
It's Ram Jam.
I think it might be Ram Jam.
Whoa, Black Betty.
Yeah, Lead Belly.
What the fuck?
Who the fuck is Ram Jam?
Is that just one of the lyrics?
That's a He-Man character.
No, no, no.
Ram Jam.
Can you give us a dramatic reading of the lyrics?
Whoa, Black Betty.
Bam-ba-lam. Whoa, Black Betty. Bam-ba-lam.
Whoa, Black Betty.
Bam-ba-lam.
Black Betty had a child.
Slow down.
Who's Black Betty?
I can describe her.
The song's going to tell you.
Yeah, it's Ram Jam.
We were right.
It's Ram Jam.
It's not Ram Jam at all.
It's Ram Jam.
Well, I mean, songs are sang by a lot of people.
Ram Jam is the...
Nobody knows that song.
Ram Jam is the... Why are you running are sang by a lot of people. Ram Jam. Nobody knows that song. Ram Jam is the version everybody knows.
Why are you running?
Why are you spinning scissors?
Sorry.
What's he?
He's spinning them fast, too.
All right.
All right.
Yeah, there are.
Lead Belly did it originally.
Yeah, Ram Jam.
Ram Jam.
1977.
Click on Ram Jam.
Tom Jones did it? Edit the page and put me in the band fuck it i'm in ram jam guys i want you to go to wikipedia and put me in any band you
can think of fuck it let's start any band i can't put you in put me in every band i'm an outcast i said the all rights and gasoline dreams on stankonia all right all right all right
no no no that was hey yes no no it's close it's close let's put you in all right all right all
right all right all right all right all right that's my that was me i was not in hey yeah
i wish you were in gasoline drink thank you tj
there we go where'd you i want to be in every single band on wikipedia
come on everybody together we can do this
god i can't wait just and and then you're talking to a girl yeah i'm in a band
which one just check google one all a band. Which one? Just check. Google one. All of them.
Every single one.
Every band.
What else we got?
What do you got?
You're not going home this weekend, right?
No, I'm going home this weekend.
I'm going to Rochester.
Well, not home. I'm going to Rochester for one day.
I brought my mother-in-law up, and then my sister's here,
although she's leaving.
So, yeah, the family's up here.
I have to – I think I legitimately actually do have to host Ben Mintz at my Thanksgiving dinner.
You definitely do.
I think it's going to be me, my wife, my kids, my mother-in-law, and Ben Mintz sitting at my table.
It's a good crew.
Ben Mintz will talk to everybody.
About Ben Mintz.
Oh, my God.
His conversation will have more eyes than a fucking fly's head.
I will have to give the family a dossier on what he's been up to, the second act of life.
But, yeah, it's – I don't know what I'm going to – it's not the 11.30 lunch I'm worried about.
It's the –
Was his first act of life written by Quentin Tarantino?
Yes.
It's – Spike Lee.
What up?
Wake Tennessee is officially back.
December 5th.
December 5th.
It's going to be our lead-in.
Sorry, boys.
It's okay.
Sorry.
I was fighting for my honor on PMT with the lottery ball.
Whoa.
Oh, they've accused you of.
Oh, yeah.
Max is a loser.
Oh.
My baby.
Yeah.
Tommy fell.
He's everything that's wrong with America.
Max?
Yeah, I might have started my presidential campaign.
I got really worked up, and I was giving just, like, great impassioned speeches.
I think you could win.
You could get on the ticket.
Do you guys ever think about that?
Because I actually do think Dave could be the president.
I mean, yeah he i think
somebody i think somebody on the other side would assassinate dave i really do really yeah i also
think dave i want to see it just is my mic on yeah i want to see it for the content because the idea
of like him barnstorming across like the midwest and the West and the Southwest and having Frank the Tank be his opener would be incredible.
You just have Frank the Tank whooping up like,
you're ready to get rough and rowdy.
Who would his running mate be, though?
He'd have to link with Dana White and Kid Rock.
Yeah, I don't know who he'd run with.
Isn't it Elon Musk?
Didn't they already talk about it?
That was the t-shirt, yeah.
Dave and...
But Elon Musk wasn't born in the United States.
I don't think he could actually run.
I wouldn't vote for Dave.
You wouldn't?
No.
He'd make your life hell as president.
That's fine.
How would that be any different?
Think about how much...
I'm in a domain of every home you ever move into.
The power we'd have if Dave was president.
We?
Yeah.
Close to the president.
You have the president's phone number?
I think...
Well, move.
Yeah.
Huh.
I'll think of his running mate.
What have you guys been yakking about?
Sorry about being late.
Well, what have we been yakking about?
We tried to solve when the one millionth play in NFL history was ran.
Oh, that's fun.
It's 25 years.
Every million plays is 25 years?
Because Mook was making an excuse for the Eagles and their win last night,
and he was like, there are a million plays in an NFL game.
Making an excuse for a win.
That can change a game.
There are a million plays in an NFL game, and then we said no that's that's not right and it takes takes about 25 years for a million plays to be run in the nfl yep pretty
cool so you're welcome for that bit of research you can use it on pmt if you'd like million plays
25 years about that yeah i like that 41 000 a season well it's got to be the the pace of play has
picked up oh great like 70s running the ball conservative far less play let's just get jake
marsh to watch every game and count them yeah yeah that would be fun every play yeah you search a
number they have every nfl game somewhere no they certainly don't. You don't think so?
They don't have a record of every NFL game?
I think you can watch the New York Giants game from 1950.
Super Bowl era.
I think you can watch it.
There was a league before the Super Bowl.
I know, but Super Bowl era.
There really wasn't.
That's what I said.
Who gives a fuck about it?
The 1958 NFL championship game was one of the most famous games of all time.
I understand, but the Super Bowl era.
When there's another league that exists, when there's like multiple leagues out there,
we need to get it all under one umbrella.
Here's a simple way to dispute your argument.
Not really an argument.
Do you think the Bears and the Lions and the Browns are good franchises?
I do not.
Exactly.
They won a shitload of titles before the Super Bowl era, but no one cares.
The teams themselves still kind of flaunt them, don't they? Not really, though. Exactly. They won a shitload of titles before the Super Bowl era, but no one cares.
The teams themselves still kind of flaunt them, don't they?
Not really, though.
The Bears do. Super Bowls is what you need to play.
You can play in Hallis Hall.
I understand.
Well, he started the NFL.
Right.
Right.
Everything back then kind of counts.
Right.
I mean, he kind of does it, but he kind of does.
But it doesn't really.
Like the Yankees, they don't say we have seven championships they say we have 27 the
bears ever won but that was different because that was the world series like that was still the world
series if the bears won another super bowl it wouldn't be like they have i don't even know how
many they won before the super it'd be the second super bowl what are your thoughts on like the
maple leaves or the canadians flaunting stanley cups i think that counts i think it was called
that okay for the entire time. Then it counts.
So if I start a sport, I'm going to be the only person playing it for the first 10 years.
Right. Yeah. Just so nobody can catch up to me. Smart. Yeah. But they don't say we've won nine
Super Bowls. They say we won a certain amount of NFL championships in one Super Bowl. Yeah,
I just don't think NFL championships matter. None of it matters. I don't think the Super
Bowls matter. Super super bowls don't matter
super bowls absolutely matter okay you don't think super bowls matter super bowls matter but i was
like what when talking about the history of the nfl the history of the nfl goes back a long time
superboy okay that's two different that's two different conversations
and the farther we get into the Super Bowl era,
like when we get to Super Bowl 100, no one's going to be like,
what was that?
Who won 1934?
Oh, when they didn't have the Super Bowl?
I think we're already to that point.
Who created the name Super Bowl?
I don't think I can really give a fuck about, like, the first 30 Super Bowls.
Was it the Chiefs guy?
Was it Lamar Hunt?
Did he coin Super Bowl?
Somebody back then coined Super Bowl, right? Yeah. Somebody back yeah somebody back first 30 Super Bowls goes farther than you think though
when was Super Bowl 30 Super Bowl 30 was in 1995 27 yeah so it's like right around then
like honestly that's just uh when you were right old enough right when you could pay attention
that's when it started yeah like to the like I think when Super Bowl 100 comes around I don't
think people are gonna be I don't think they're going to,
the older I get, the more I become a sports nihilist
where I'm like, yeah, none of this shit really does matter.
Are you worried we might be breaking
your Super Bowl record on this show?
Didn't you say it was?
Oh, yeah.
Super Bowl.
When was the first time somebody said,
we're going to Disney World?
Who was the first person to say that?
It was like the 80s.
Was it?
Wait, who did create the name Super Bowl?
Because that guy's like maybe the smartest guy
in the world. Super Bowl?
You can't get any bigger than a Super Bowl.
Ultra? The Ultra Bowl?
The mid-1960s. There we go.
First used the term Super Bowl
to refer the AFL-NFL championship game
in the merger meetings. Hunt later
said the name was likely in his head because his children
have been playing with a Super Ball toy.
Super Balls are good balls. A vintage example
of the ball is on display at the Pro Football Hall
of Fame in Canton, Ohio. The pink ball is the best ball.
Spalding. Yeah, the Spalding is the best ball.
The one best ball three years in a row. But a Super Ball is a good ball.
Small ball, but it's
a good ball. But Spalding is the best ball.
Yes. We all agree with that?
What? The Spalding?
No, the pink ball, the Spalding.
Oh, oh.
I thought you meant basketball.
Show him what a Spalding is.
Spalding.
It's the best.
He's saying Spalding.
Spalding.
Spalding with two E's.
It won best ball three years in a row, Mark.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
It's the pink ball.
It's the pink ball.
I give out the award every year.
What do you do?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
You'll know the pink ball.
You'll know the pink ball.
You'll know the pink ball.
You can give me a cracker barrel.
Oh, you know what?
I do know what you're talking about. Yeah, you know the pink ball. There'll know the pink ball. You'll know the pink ball. You know the pink ball. You can give me a cracker barrel. Oh, you know what? I do know what you're talking about.
Yeah, you know the pink ball.
There we go.
It's the big bouncy ball.
Yeah, that's what people call them, but I think it's, yeah.
You know exactly what it looks like.
No, Spaldeen.
But you call it a Spaldeen, but I think it's a Spaldeen.
No, no, no, Spaldeen with two E's.
I don't know why you put an I in there.
Where are the E's?
Right after the D.
What is the I?
Take the I out.
Dean.
There you go.
Spaldeen.
Mm-hmm.
Dude lost weight in his brain. Spaldeen. Spaldeen. You call go. Spalding. Dude lost weight in his brain.
Spalding.
Spalding. You call it a Spalding.
That's the best ball in the world.
We should get a couple of those. That's a great ball.
Now, if we played home run W with those.
I have a new game that the Yaks are going to play.
We got a draft today, too.
Yeah, we do have a draft today, but I have a game
that I would like us to play when we come back.
It's a stick ball ball.
Tommy Walker's here.
How old are you guys?
Tommy Walker is here.
Yeah, shit.
What the fuck?
TJ, I'm sending you this game.
We have to play it when we get back.
Oh, is it what I saw today?
I don't know what you saw.
I don't know what your day existed.
Good point.
Yeah, I think you're right.
But sure.
Is it goal ball?
Maybe. Boys, I'm officially in Wu-Tang Clan. Good point. Yeah, I think you're right. But sure. Is it goalball? Maybe.
Boys, I'm officially in Wu-Tang Clan. Thank you. Let's go!
Oh, yeah.
Is that your first? That's your second band now.
No, I'm also in Knocked Loose. Thank you. Love Knocked Loose.
I'm in Smash Mouth. I'm in Sublime.
Thank you, boys. I'm so happy.
You're also in Lost Prophets.
Oh, no!
No, you said every band. No, I don't want to be in Lost Prophets Oh no No you said every band
No I don't want to be in Lost Prophets
You said every band
It's Lost Prophets
Chad put him in AJR
Put him in everything
The lead singer did the most
heinous crime of all time
If you wanted every band
you're gonna get every band
Fuck
Nick Durant
Yeah there it is
Look at this
Yeah we're playing this
What is this
They're in blindfolds
Nah
Thanks Zach
I mean this is gonna be electric Oh this is incredible Electric They're in blindfolds. Nah. Thanks, Zach.
I mean, this is going to be electric.
Electric. Electric.
That was a lot.
Oh.
We're going to play this.
What country is that?
I don't know.
That is, yeah.
It didn't look like a...
We're going to play that next week.
Is it strictly a women's sport?
I don't know, but it's going to be so much fun to watch.
Yeah, that's incredible.
It's going to be incredible to watch.
We're definitely playing that next week.
Yeah, I'm so excited for that.
Do we only have one soccer goal?
I think I bought two, if I didn't know.
It's in the Paralympics.
It's in the Paralympics?
Oh, are we now?
Oh, wow.
Wait, but then why are they blindfolded?
There's different levels of vision impairment in the Paralympics,
so it's just like they level the playing field by making them all 100% blind.
So are we –
We're allowed to do it.
Are we allowed to do this?
Yeah.
What disabilities are okay to –
Are you asking me?
I don't know.
TJ, what disabilities can you mock?
I mean, yak basketball looks like the Special Olympics.
It does.
I said you should just call the Paralympics the Olympics.
Every time. Every time time makes way more sense do you see what let me say a paralympics what do you do he uh he was getting shit online
for his stand-up special so he put on his instagram story it was like one story of like
if you've ever been offended by a joke click click this link. And he linked it to special needs helmets.
What?
He's trying to like stop having female fans.
Yeah.
He's going like he's pissed off that his fan base only likes him because he's good looking.
So he opened his stand up special with like a domestic violence joke and was like, if you're mad about that, leave now.
He's trying to like get the chicks
out of his right you could easily do this just come on the yak you get rid of all your chickens
yeah it's true it's so easy so easy i love to talk like cool jerk offs with him i would he would
look the coolest yeah we actually our women fans uh went up by 10 percent when uh kate had her baby no way yeah because she's watching from home
yeah we went from nine fans to ten yep yeah pretty huge pretty huge for us shout out kate
we're like kate thanks for the demo we've got another woman fan um it was crazy because i used
to be in the goo goo dolls and um really yeah and so i used to
have a ton of girl fans and now i went here gone so the thing we're doing today big cat is we uh
we were looking up the wikipedia of a band and nick put himself in the band oh so i'm having
every listener i like that put me in a band in wikipedia i'm like 30 right now
bob marley and the whalers throw me in boys, boys. Make me a Whaler. Get that done.
I want to be in the E Street fans.
No, make him Bob Marley.
Yeah, fuck it.
Boot out Bob.
Bob Marley, a.k.a. Nick Turani.
This guy puts you on the Kansas State Wildcats retired jersey list.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, guys.
I want Wikipedia.
I want to be on every page of Wikipedia.
That's incredible.
Year of retirement 2009.
Oh my God.
That's perfect.
So funny.
I want to get my name banned from Wikipedia.
Yes.
What are they building over there?
I don't know.
It's very distracting.
I think they're still doing the set for the.
That doesn't look like the set.
Why are they using their.
I don't know.
It's like a hockey.
It's like a lacrosse school.
It's like a hockey.
Oh, that's probably for the game on.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
So let's talk about that.
Yeah, that's your sister.
Hey, Caitlin.
Oh, Megan.
Is that Megan?
Is she giving birth?
Down, boys. hey caitlin oh is that megan she gave him birth down boys
chat is just like
rabid
rabid dogs
send the invoice
for them
they see a woman
and they're just like
what
woman
woman
capture her
bring her in um alright so should we talk about we need to get tommy on the show
uh if you want to tommy come here let's talk for a minute wait since we're not
affiliated with where we used to be affiliated can you start giving tommy money oh yeah all right
tommy tommy sit on down in kb don't don't give him money i might no because he's got a brother
here if you if you had i might give him both okay that would be fine sit down next to me you want
to sit there you want to sit there tommy you know it'd be funny if you had a bigger boat than your
dad oh should we buy you a boat we buy? Should we buy him a big-ass boat?
Tommy, how do you like the lake and everything you got going on?
It's pretty cool, huh?
Have you found any cool wildlife besides fish, the one fish that your dad catches?
We know that, by the way, so you don't have to lie to us.
Your dad has one fish that he catches every day.
It's always the same fish, right?
You can talk, Tommy say uh tommy what's what's going on these days you i heard um you're getting into
maybe twitch and everything yeah i love that i'm ready to support whatever you want that was
actually a surprise well no you sit on the yak he the yak. But he didn't watch it yesterday.
Oh, well, I didn't say anything about it.
I said he might get into Twitch.
Yeah, well, the fact that I was going to get him his own Twitch channel and start him on Twitch.
Wait, no, you just did it.
You did that.
That's a Christmas gift.
Oh, Tommy.
Tommy, there's a guy on Instagram who has swords.
Yeah.
He's wielding like a big wooden sword.
You want to watch him real quick?
All right.
I want to see if you could wield this.
He's training to wield a Final Fantasy-sized sword.
It's one of my fellas, TJ.
I'm going to try to find him.
Tommy, why are you not talking?
It's all right.
You don't have to talk.
No, you talked on Mostly Sports.
What's up?
You can talk, not talk.
All right.
What about Nick's sword that he let you play with?
That was really cool.
Yeah? We'll get you one.
Well, I don't know that we will.
We isn't everybody but you.
Because somebody lost my
katana. Alright, I lost your katana. How do you
lose a katana, Brandon?
They were very sharp. I hid them
at our last house in Jersey and I never
found them before we moved. So I don't know where
they are. So the people that live in your house
There are some hidden katana blades
in the house somewhere.
Did you practice the art of Bushido when you were
wielding the katana? Bushido? It's the
honor system that I believe samurai use.
What is that? I don't really
know. Do I have to kill yourself? Nick, you're a G unit
now, by the way. Yeah, of course.
That's Sapuku. Tommy's got a... We. That's something. That's seppuku.
Tommy's got a, we can talk about something.
So Tommy's got a favorite musical artist over the last few weeks.
He's really been getting into his music.
Tommy, tell him whose music you've been getting into lately.
Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson.
Oh, fantastic.
Incredible music.
Big time Michael Jackson guy.
Incredible music.
We listen to Michael Jackson playlists on the way out.
What's your favorite Michael Jackson song?
Eat It.
Eat It?
What about Man in the Mirror?
You like that one?
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
Are you going to try to learn the dance moves?
Which version of him do you like more?
All right, Moop.
Probably zombie Michael Jackson.
Yeah, okay.
That's a good answer.
We got to get you into Prince, too.
That's what I told him.
You did? I tried to get him in Prince yesterday too. That's what I told him. You did?
I tried to get him in Prince yesterday.
He didn't really take to it very much.
I like Michael Jackson more than Prince.
I like Prince and Michael Jackson equally.
I don't.
I like Michael Jackson more than Prince, too.
I like Prince more.
But you've only listened to Prince once.
We listened to Go Crazy and 1999.
You didn't even like 1999.
Put on a little Raspberry Beret.
I like 1999.
You didn't like one of them?
No, I like Prince. Why are you hollering? He ain't even like 1999. Put on a little raspberry beret. I like 1999. But you didn't like one of them? No, I like Prince.
Why are you hollering?
He ain't hollering.
That was the opposite of a holler I've ever heard.
That wasn't even close to a holler, Tommy.
He was hooting.
Tommy, are we rooting for Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl?
Maybe.
Oh.
What?
What?
What are you thinking?
Talk me through it.
Ben Mintz is a pretty cool guy.
Uncle Ben.
Uncle Ben.
He got canceled.
Uncle Ben.
No, no, no.
Uncle Ben was also Spider-Man's guardian.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
You can call him Uncle Ben.
He's dead.
No, he hasn't met Ben Mintz.
Ben Mintz is coming to-
Oh, your life's about to change, Tommy.
He's coming to Thanksgiving on Thursday.
He's going to watch a game
In the basement
I gotta go
I gotta stop at Best Buy
And buy a TV for the basement
You don't have a TV in the basement?
I don't want him watching my good TV
What do you
You don't want him watching
Your good TV?
What?
I don't want him watching
We're going to stop
And get another TV
You're putting your good TV
In storage
Yeah
I'm not
Ben Mintz is not watching
My good TV
You're going to be like
A teacher in the 90s
He's not sitting on my good couch
Wheeling in the fucking Television With's not sitting on my good couch in the fucking
television vcr attached to it yeah he's gonna mess up your good tv i don't want his eyes on my good
tv don't worry they won't be ben mince would find a way to break a tv by looking at it that would be
so funny if you if you made him watch your new tv and you just sat in the other corner watching
your good tv like you don't watch the other corner watching your good TV?
You don't watch the game on the same TV?
Or the same level of the house.
I'm thinking of sitting on the main floor.
He sits in the basement
and we communicate via walkie-talkie.
I like that.
Or, because they're going to win.
So I think Tommy's going to play
a starring role in the stream.
I think he's just going to come down there
and I'm going to tell him to talk about
whatever he wants to talk about.
Tommy, if you like winners, you're a winner yourself. to talk about whatever he wants to talk about. Tommy, if
you like winners, you're a winner yourself.
Dan, Dan, Dan, stop.
It doesn't really matter.
You're a winner. You are a winner
as a person. You're a winner.
His dad's a winner too. You root for winners.
Ole Miss is going to win this
game. Essentially.
Not really essentially though.
Listen, I haven't said anything there's a high
enough chance there's a high enough chance i'm just setting the table for tommy i know he likes
winners winners are attracted to winners it doesn't really matter to me who wins i just
i just want to watch the game yeah love that and you just love he just loves ball
tommy walker Is football your favorite sport?
Football is my favorite sport.
Love that.
What's number two?
Number two is basketball.
Okay.
Baseball and soccer.
Okay.
Brandon, that's correct, right?
I wouldn't put soccer four.
I'd put, like, golf four.
But that's fine.
That's a fine order.
If golf over hockey? I do love watching playoff hockey, but I like watching. Yeah fine order. If golf over hockey?
I do love watching playoff hockey, but I like watching.
Yeah, I would put golf over hockey.
Hey, just so you know, for the national anthem at the United Center for the Blackhawks, stand and clap.
Okay.
What?
Why wouldn't I?
No, they clap throughout the whole thing.
Oh.
I don't.
Titus, is that right?
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's a tradition. Stand and clap during the whole thing? Yes. It don't. Titus, is that right? Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
That's a tradition.
Stan the Clown throughout the whole thing?
Yes.
It gets so loud.
It's awesome.
Jim Corneliuson.
Corneliuson.
Corneliuson.
Okay.
Sings it.
Yeah.
It's very, very fun.
When do you go to the Blackhawks?
You get a little teary.
I'm going Friday.
Oh, great.
You like Blackhawks, right?
I like them.
Okay.
I like Conor Bedard.
I like the Blackhawks.
You're intimidated by Blackhawks. What were you saying? Is it Blackhawks? Yeah. Blackhawks. You're not like them. Okay. I like Conor Bedard. I like the Blackhawks. You're intimidated by Blackhawks.
What were you saying?
Is it Blackhawks?
Yeah.
Blackhawks.
That's what you said.
That's what you said.
I said you like the Blackhawks.
My son is here.
Do you want to say it again?
That's what I said.
What did you think I said?
It feels like you said something else.
I think you're...
Yeah.
Is that a Freudian thing we got going on?
Did you hear it?
You know what that sounds like.
The Chicago hockey team is.
Yeah, the Blackhawks.
The Blackhawks.
Like the Owen Wilson movie?
How close are you sitting to the Blackhawks?
Probably good seats.
Probably good seats.
Oh, they're going to look huge.
Are you going to ride them?
Yeah, are you going to ride them? Are you going to bet are you no i'm not gonna i'm not gonna i'm gonna ride them hard um okay uh what else uh so conor bedard's one of the best players
yeah he's young uh lexington steel the goalie yeah he's great we're having fun
we're having fun
can you play the
the sword video
for uh
Tommy
tell me what you think
of this dude
alright
so
he's a sword
today's day 100 So, he's a sword.
Oh, today's day 100.
Oh, shit. want we can go compare my you know any muscles I got from swinging the sword to before I swing the sword because for the past 100 days I've refrained from using any gym equipment because I wanted to see I don't know that this long intro
yeah I didn't swing in the sword day 98 swing this or give us a yeah here we go
I need more practice swinging left hand dominant so that's today's focus is
gonna be look at this Tommy he's getting stronger by swinging this sword.
What do you think?
Do you think that's a sword, Tommy?
Cool guy or not?
Is he a cool guy?
Cool guy.
Yes.
I agree.
Yes.
What's cool about him?
Tap me in if you need help.
Tap me in if you need help.
Tap me in if you need help.
I don't need help.
All right.
You got it.
Okay.
You need help against me.
No.
Why?
Tommy, here's a little life lesson from Uncle Big Cat. I don't need help. Okay, you got it. Okay, you need help against me. No. Why?
Tommy, here's a little life lesson from Uncle Big Cat.
That's cool because the guy has passion about something,
and he set out to do a goal, and he's going to accomplish the goal. It doesn't matter if it's a sword, if it's anything, right?
You have a goal.
If it's a football team.
Right.
Are you Andy Johnson right now?
What's going on?
Yeah.
What?
Again, I did the lottery ball.
You're running for president.
Yeah, yeah.
I worked myself up into a tizzy, so I'm really big into trying to give motivational speeches.
I might start an Instagram for it.
Tommy, setting goals, accomplishing goals.
It could be a sword.
It could be reading a book.
It could be trying to win 10 games for Mississippi State,
which will never happen.
These are the goals, right?
It's fun.
Shoot for the moon.
You know, other people have children.
I feel like if other people brought their children in,
you wouldn't try to convince those children to go against everything
their father believes in. I do not. i'm not going against everything you believe in you're talking
down mississippi state right in front of me i said they have a goal it's good of winning 10 games of
which they'll never do but they have done it they just did it 10 years there you go okay so go are
they gonna do like a we're hiring a new coach are going to do like a halftime ceremony for the 10-win team? Jamie Chadwell.
Oh, I like that hire.
Probably not going to get him.
But that's who we're trying to hire right now.
I really like that hire.
That's who we're trying to hire right now.
No, Tommy, you've got to root for Mississippi State.
Maybe Lance Leipold.
Probably can't get him either.
Yeah.
But we'll be able to get somebody that also has a name.
Tommy, here's another life lesson.
As someone who roots for a bunch of losers,
rooting for losers actually builds a ton of character.
Yeah, and we need to build character.
No, we don't.
Tommy's got character out the wazoo.
That's true.
He does have.
I don't know that.
You could root for Georgia right now.
Honestly, when I was younger and stupider.
Yeah.
All he did was try to get me to Mississippi State. And since I was younger and stupider yeah all he did was try to get me to like mississippi state and out and since
i was younger and stupider i believed him that they were probably the best team in the league
but as i grew up i figured out as i grew up and started doing more sports yeah
i figured out that they're nowhere near the best they're not even in the top 10
see Brandon this is the difference if my
son walked in here right now stop talking to me
and you told him and you asked about the Bears
he would say yeah the Bears lose but that's
actually winning because he I explained
to him what tanking is.
Every father.
I did.
He knows tanking.
He's repeated it back to me a bunch of times where he's like,
did the Bears win?
I'm like, no, they lost.
He's like, oh, that's good.
That's good.
Every father in the history of sports has successfully passed on his losing ways to the next generation.
If a guy's a Packers fan, his son's a Packers fan.
If a guy's a Bengals fan, his son's a Bengals fan. If a guy's a Bengals fan, his son's a Bengals fan.
My dad was a Mississippi State fan, and I took his team
even though he did drugs.
And now me, a successful man, trying to pass on Mississippi State to you
and you can't take it?
He's going to take it.
I know Tommy's going to take it.
You're a Mississippi State fan.
Yeah, in the future, but as of now, I'm an Alabama fan.
You just got to wait for Mississippi State to be better.
Listen, you don't want to root for Alabama because what happens is –
look, Brendan, I'm helping you here.
All right.
If you win all the time, your whole life becomes jaded.
Where, like, nothing – and jaded – to explain jaded, it's like –
He knows what jaded is.
Okay, you know what jaded is.
You know, you smell a rose and it's like,
oh, that doesn't smell that good.
I've smelled better roses. Oh, like, oh, that doesn't smell that good. I've smelled better roses.
Oh, like, oh, my team wins all the time.
I can't really get excited for all these, like,
regular season wins.
You don't want that.
That's why, yes, that's why last year I was an Alabama fan
and now I'm probably going to change it to either
a Dolphins fan or a Dallas fan.
Yeah.
Dolph, you can do both those.
Yeah, Dolphins is fine.
Dolphins is fine.
Mess around.
Are you fine with letting him experiment with an NFL team?
Yeah, he can have whatever NFL team he wants.
All right.
You want to look around at the NFL teams?
Nope.
Chicago Cubs.
That's baseball.
Hell yeah, Tom.
Bears.
Love that.
Don't.
The Bears are really bad.
See it.
Uncle Big Cat will tell you the truth.
They'll be bad.
The Bears are bad.
They'll never be good.
You should go Eagles.
Eagles would be a good choice.
Just cheer for winners.
What's your favorite animal?
That would be awesome.
Just wait until the Super Bowl's played,
and then say you're a fan of whoever won.
Yeah, do the Wallow method.
Trill Ballins.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, just cheer for champions only.
Wallow literally brings two jerseys to the Super Bowl.
He's from Philadelphia. He brought a Chiefsys to the Super Bowl. He's from Philadelphia.
He brought a Chiefs jersey to the Super Bowl.
Incredible.
I'm going to party with the winner.
Hey, how's your brother doing?
Is he okay?
Yeah.
What's he doing?
He's still watching YouTube on your computer.
Okay.
All right.
Well, Tommy, you can go play some more.
I love having you on the Yak.
You like the new office?
Yeah.
It's fun, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're the man, Tommy.
Keep on trucking.
All right.
Bring that Mewtwo in next time for me.
All right.
Thank you.
Wait, what is it?
A Mewtwo card.
Mewtwo card.
What is that?
It's a Pokemon.
It's a Pokemon card.
It's a rare Pokemon card.
Since we got you all here together, this morning on the drive-in, you floated a theory about
Pokemon.
Oh, hit me.
That I thought Nick might be interested in hearing.
You said, what did you say?
You don't need the headphones on for this.
I didn't have a theory.
It was that essentially
the god of the Pokemon universe
is Trueform Arceus.
Right, I agree with that.
Where'd you come up with that?
I didn't.
That's in Pokemon Wikipedia.
Yeah, it's fact.
Are you in Pokemon Wikipedia?
Yeah, he's the god.
Arceus, yeah, I think it's fact. Oh, are you in Pokemon Wikipedia? Yeah, he's the god. Bulbapedia. He's the god.
Arceus.
Yeah, Triada.
I think that's fact, Brandon.
True form Arceus created.
But a theory I do like is that...
You're going to make him a nerd.
Cubone Marowak.
Marowak should have evolved into Kangaskhan,
and then that baby becomes a Cubone.
Did you know that a Marowak is actually a baby Charmander that never got their tail in.
That's what I, yeah, I read that.
Interesting stuff.
I like this, Tommy.
Being passionate about something.
What quick, quick top five rankings of people at this office?
People at this office.
Okay, number one, number two, number three, number four.
Okay.
Who's number four? Are you pointing? Rudy. And Caitlin. Okay. Who's number four?
Are you pointing?
Rudy.
And Caitlin.
Okay.
Caitlin.
Caitlin.
Number five.
What about Spider?
Yeah.
Do you know his name?
What about Spider?
It's Mook.
Yeah.
What's his name?
Mook.
Also, if KB was here, he'd be number one.
You love KB.
Oh, yeah.
KB's the best.
Yeah.
What about Spider?
He's not here.
Oh, Spider's number five.
Okay.
Nice.
All right, Tommy.
Go play.
See ya. Love having you on. See ya. Okay. Nice. All right, Tommy, go play. See you.
Love having you on.
See you.
Bye, Tommy.
Good job, Tommy.
Tommy's just a good kid.
I think he got worn out by the Mostly Sports because he was very talkative this morning.
Yeah.
Yeah, it took him a second.
It's a long day.
Started cooking.
Yeah, he's going to be – I'm excited for the asleep tweet that you'll have.
You should be embracing that he's going to have nerd tendencies.
Nerds win these days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, look at Nick.
Dude cleans up.
Mm-hmm.
He's the real Nicky Smokes.
I've been in every band.
How many bands you up to now?
I'm in a lot right now.
I'm going to do a random band search.
Grateful Dead, Prince.
I'm going to look up Lemon Prince.
You think you're in Whitesnake?
I don't know.
Insane Clown Posse.
Yeah, I'm in them all.
Megan's a good skateboarder.
Yeah, she's solid.
Those are loose-ass trucks, too.
What?
Oh, you're also the Buffalo Bills mascot.
Okay, fine by me.
Spice Girls.
What does loose-ass trucks mean?
The metal on the bottom.
It's like you could turn really hard, but it's...
You're not in Whitesnake.
I'm not in Whitesnake?
Oh, let's see if you're in Bon Jovi.
You're not in that many bands.
I'm in a ton of bands.
Brandon, who do you think is going to be the next coach at Mississippi State?
Yeah, honestly.
Jamie Chabot would be awesome.
Chabot is the dream.
Have you thought about Dan Mullen back?
I like Willie Fritz a lot, maybe Rhett Lashley,
and I would take Dan Mullen back.
There's a lot of our fan base that doesn't want him back, but I would take him back in a second. I think he's a greatley, and I would take Dan Mullen back. There's a lot of our fan base that doesn't want him back,
but I would take him back in a second.
I think he's a great coach, and I would love to have him back.
You're not in Bon Jovi either.
Let's get Dan Mullen back.
Who are you talking to, Dan Mullen?
No.
I want you to have Dan Mullen back.
I want Dan Mullen back.
I'll take any of these.
Jamie Chadwell is a dream.
If I can get Chadwell out of Liberty, that would be fantastic.
I don't know if we can get him.
I think we've offered him.
He was at Coastal, right?
Yeah.
He was at the Coastal guy?
He's in his first year at Liberty.
They're undefeated, but they've got a god-awful schedule.
The thing about Liberty, they pay you a lot, but none of your games ever matter.
You can go 12-0 every year.
It doesn't matter.
You can come to us, get your brains beat in for a couple years.
Yeah, that matters.
But it's better to lose in games that win game better to lose it's better to lose alabama than than beat yeah
you know troy every year yeah right that's what i say it's what you are you've always said yeah
always so you'd rather make a lot of money and do and get destroyed in something that matters
and make a lot of money and just do something well that uh i make a lot of money get destroyed every day
right but wouldn't you rather just not get destroyed and put out i of course i would
fucking love to be so you'd rather be the coach of liberty but it's just not a world
that i'm going to be able to live in i'm going to get destroyed every day no matter what
i just spent an hour turning my own son against me i did not not do that. Did it work? I let nature run its course.
I let nature run its course.
I think man is supposed to betray the law.
The numbers, our numbers did.
They did jump up.
They did jump up when Brandon left the studio and Tommy took his chair.
Oh, I love it.
Tommy should feel really good that he, no joke, will work here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know i don't think dave pays
attention to him but i guess big cat does so no i yeah so we're on my job we're on about a four
and a half hour four and a half year he's 13 now so in about four and a half years 18 how old was
bob fox when he started 16 i think or no he emailed me all the time when he was 16 I was like dude we can't hire you 16
he had he he wanted it
we did have that intern this summer that was do you remember him yeah yeah young young kid
young bull did you guys do the ad yet well we did the robeck ad but not the high noon
which Nick's about to do right now I'm gonna going to have Hank come in here, and we'll do this draft.
Okay.
Basketball sounds fun, but I would rather load up the cooler,
break out the oversized lawn games,
because the high noon game day pack is back.
It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry,
along with black cherry and grapefruit.
It's made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories,
gluten-free, and no added sugar.
The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive,
which means it's here for a good time, not a long time.
Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate
to find a pack near you.
I had a pineapple high noon last night at Bird's Nest.
So good.
You got wings?
Of course. I go once a week. yeah best wings henry what up henry explain him explain to us what we're doing oh sit on down i i wanted you
to i wanted you to come on because i didn't want to screw it up and then have to fix it
so that was smart right this is tommy tommy was tommy was sitting there
okay so cyber monday cyber monday is coming up the producer bowl also before we start that i
was sitting here with spider yesterday while you guys were doing the the yak gauntlet. Yeah. Spider was like, they should call it the de-yakathon.
Wow.
Wait, why de-yakathon?
Why de-kathalon?
That doesn't rhyme at all.
Yeah, that doesn't.
I liked it.
I just wanted to throw it out there.
That is something that you and Spider sitting together would be like, we nailed it.
De-yakathon.
De-kathalon.
De-yakathon.
They sound nothing alike.
It's hard when you say the name and it doesn't immediately click.
It did for me.
It kind of sounded good.
The de-yack-a-thon.
Actually, you know what?
I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says yak-a-go.
Yeah, I was just saying, you know what?
That actually was perfect for the yak.
Yeah, it is.
Yak-a-go always does.
We released sweatshirts last year that said the yak, the yak.
Did it? Or no, the, the yak.
And they're also
out this year and we did not fix it.
Call it a yak-stable
course.
Yeah, that's way better.
The yak-impics.
Yak-impics.
A thousand yaks.
A thousand yaks. What's that for?
No idea. Okay, alright, yeah, that works. A thousand yaks. A thousand yaks. What's that for? No idea. Okay.
All right.
Yeah, that works.
A thousand yaks.
All right.
So this one we're calling the, I tentatively called it the producer bowl.
Okay.
But it's basketball.
Well, it's sort of.
The foundation is basketball.
So let's step back for everyone understands.
We are doing something this year with Black Friday, starting Black Friday through Cyber Monday,
20% off the entire Barstool Sports store.
And what Dave is doing is we have our revenue goal.
If we hit our revenue goal, every dollar over that goal
is then going to get split up and dispersed
through all the producers at Barstool Sports.
So that's all the people that make us look
good that work tireless hours tj za all these guys you know the guys on pmt were here till
three in the morning on sundays trying to get the show up everyone mook mooks in it uh who clips an
absolute squalor yeah only wears free clothing yep uh. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
So it's going to be great because it's going to,
all the producers that don't get any shine,
don't get any on-camera shine will get it.
And we thought we would do,
so there's the usual telethon on Monday night,
which we'll be a part of.
So it's going to be a dual telethon.
We'll kick back and forth between New York and Chicago.
Before that, we thought we'd spice things up and give our producers a chance to compete
and potentially get the money going up even higher because people will be buying while we compete.
And that's where we came up with the Yak Bowl.
Yakker.
Producer Bowl.
Producer Bowl.
It's not on Yak. It it's gonna be on the stool streams
stool streams producer bowl uh so yeah the on fridays i've been here the last couple fridays
the producers you know at the end of the day they all play five on five basketball for a few hours
it's some of the worst basketball we've ever oh they're aware that we watched pug very funny
pug uh the jerry the jerry mixtape from last friday also very funny it's very funny it's
horrible basketball.
So that was kind of the foundation, the idea of it.
So the foundation is a basketball game to 1,000.
But within the game, within the game, there's going to be mini games that are worth like 200 points.
So it's really, it's basketball, but essentially the team that wins the mini games is going to win, you know, get to 1,000 first.
So we were thinking like it'll be, you know, Brandon and Mark will draft their teams.
It'll be two teams of 13, I think, so they can obviously do subs and determine who plays during and whatnot.
After 15 minutes of gameplay, we'll stop and we'll do a mini game.
Three-on-three dodgeball, one-on-one golf, soccer challenge, bocce ball, hockey.
But those will be smaller teams, so it'll be Brandon and Mark as coaches
have to decide who are your three players for dodgeball,
who's your golfer, who's your soccer player.
You can't reuse players until everyone's been used.
Wow, okay.
So they actually have to do some strategizing and
like some little league rules yeah everybody has to play everyone's yeah it's it's five players on
the court you can do sub so it's like everyone will be if you if you have five players you and
you don't want to sub them out you don't have to that that you can do whatever you want within
basketball is basketball never stopping like are these mini games happening at the same time no so it'll be like 15 minutes stop and then we'll you know three on three dodge
ball and then so it's like a team could be up you know 75 to nothing if they win the dodgeball
they're going to be down 75 to 200 so like the the games within the games are the real games and
then for the viewers to make it interesting which i i asked tj to try and get some ideas going he
said no one responded anything uh we're going to a punishment wheel so that's gonna be the merch driver every
we have to figure out the dollar amount like five thousand ten thousand dollars
once we hit that number we'll stop do a punishment wheel and that will be stuff like someone has to
wear roller skates someone has to be blindfolded someone has to wear handcuffs we're not doing
roller skates from the beginning fast banana no i think it should be i think we that's how we
incentivize the viewers okay i want to buy merch it's like the punishment wheel is going to be
embarrassing it's going to make it funny yeah and the more merch people buy the more like funny
shit people have to do i think one of them will just be that your whole team has to put on an
extra layer of merch so that potentially like at the end there's teams just running around
with like 10 layers of merch on, fast banana.
What were some of the other ones?
Mousetrap.
Rollerblades.
Mousetrap, rollerblades.
People in the chat have suggested this.
Put two people in a 9XL shirt.
I got one.
That's a good one.
I got one. That's a good one. I got one. Ripped. We'll do blindfolded basketball no shoes mousetraps.
Oh, I like that a lot.
Thank God.
I like that a lot.
But I think it's got to be so the wheel's going to be for individual people, though.
Like, it's going to go team wheel.
Okay, so it'll be individual suicides, mousetraps.
Yeah.
Blindfold.
Blindfolded.
Yeah.
There you go, man.
I'm starting to hate all these little torture things we get into, but yeah.
Yeah.
Stool purple.
Stool purple.
Stool purple.
Stool purple.
Stool purple.
Stool purple. So it's pretty simple. Soper-bowl. Stool-per-bowl. Stool-per-bowl. Stool-per-bowl.
Stool-per-bowl.
So it's pretty simple.
So it's all the producers playing in. So good.
That rolls right off the tongue.
All the producers in two teams.
Stool-per-bowl.
Like I said, the basis is basketball starts,
but we'll pause and play other games in between.
First team to get 1,000 points.
How many people on a team?
13. How many people on a team? 13 I'll give 300 bucks cash
To everyone on the team
Whoa
Let's go
What is that?
3,900
5 grand
That's like three orders
From the pasta bowl
In Lincoln Park
Yeah, 300 dollars
Cash too?
You spent 100 dollars there?
That's a lot of ball out
Jesus
When I have it
Okay
Yeah
You'll get it.
Brandon, Mark, thoughts?
I only see 24 on the big board.
We added Quigs and Treyward on there.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
So how do you want to draft?
How do we draft?
Do we draft or do we wheel draft or do we?
I think you guys should draft.
Oh, yeah.
I think you guys can draft.
I think you draft straight up.
Also, we should say, so referees.
Also, the other funny part is that the,
obviously these are all the social people.
We'll be announcing and stuff and doing sidelines as well,
but we're also going to have all the content people
be running the social accounts.
Correct.
So it's going to be like reversal Freaky Friday.
Hell yeah.
I have one question.
Who the fuck are all these people?
All right.
So I know most of them.
They're like they work here, but they're less good looking.
Yeah, if they work here, why do I never see them on camera?
The only one I don't know.
I don't know Harry Bogle.
You know Harry Bogle.
Okay, I know Harry Bogle.
Harry Bogle, Chicago.
There is one fake person on here.
Lance is the tall one.
Harry's the not tall one, but he's not short either.
I don't know Hinkle.
He is the bald guy.
Matt.
Matt.
Lion.
Yeah, I know Matt.
Okay.
I actually know everyone around here.
I know every single person on here.
Good on us.
We know 27 guys.
27 white guys.
I know most of them.
A couple girls. I know most of them. A couple girls.
I know most of them.
We should do.
Wait, TJ's playing?
Yeah.
It's the producers.
It's the produper bowl.
There it is.
Subruper bowl.
Pro bowl.
Oh, wow.
I have an idea.
Super stool.
Stool per bowl.
Stool per bowl.
It's pretty easy.
I don't know how you're fucking this up. Stool per bowl. All right per ball. It's pretty easy. I don't know how you're fucking this up.
Stool per ball.
All right, well, let's draft.
Okay, so only other things are, so Brandon Titus coaches,
PFT, KB, and Nick announcing, and then Jerry and I are going to be refs.
And this will air after the act on Monday.
After the act on Monday.
Before the Cyber Monday teleconference.
So Jerry and I will be the refereeing crew for the entire time,
trying to keep some order.
Just come here.
Just come ask me.
What a day that'll be because we're doing the book during Cyber Monday.
Oh, jeez.
Yak, and then right into this.
Oh!
Get done, Sap.
Brandon, no.
Flip it so it says don'ts.
Flip it so it says don'ts.
That's problematic. That's bad. Oh, that was close. Oh, Brandon, no. Flip it so it says dunce. Flip it so it says dunce. That's problematic.
That's bad.
Oh, that was close.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
He moated on you.
Oh, no.
He moated on you.
Okay.
Ready?
Drafting teams.
Who goes first?
Who goes first?
Titus does.
Yeah, I like that.
That works for me.
That works for me.
That's just like a coin flip.
So is it one, two, three?
No, no, no.
It only snakes in the beginning.
So one, two, one, one, one, one, one.
That doesn't.
Whoa.
All right.
So we should have some sort of competition for the first pick.
Coin flip?
Mousetrap.
No.
Yeah.
He can have it.
Okay, Titus has the first pick.
Let me see the big board.
I know.
There's a clear 1-1.
I know who it is.
Can we flip a Stella Blue?
There's a couple clear 1-1s. I mean, the clear 1-1. I know who it is. You want me to flip a cello blue? There's a couple clear 1-1s.
I mean, the clear 1-1 is Malasek.
Really?
Come on now.
I don't think that's true, but okay.
Is that your first pick?
Is doing anything for pussy one of the challenges?
Is adopting a dog so you can get the attention of women one of the challenges?
Get him.
Get him. Get him.
Yeah, I'll go Malasek.
All right, Malasek.
That wouldn't have been my 1-1.
Well, yeah, again.
You just saw him be a goalie.
Yeah.
That will be a challenge.
Are you putting me – is this part of, like, the prank thing?
No, no.
That you're making me draft people I don't know?
You know Malasek.
Okay.
I know.
That's why I drafted him first.
Give me Reed Miller.
Nice.
Great pick.
My God, good pick.
Great pick.
Can I pass my draft on to someone?
No.
I'll help advise.
I'll advise.
I think you're looking at this right now.
Is that a snake?
I honestly got – when I agreed to draft,
I thought I was going to be able to look at everybody and size them up.
No, I'll help advise.
I'm looking at a list of names.
I know all the people I'll help advise.
Okay.
This is my pick?
Yes.
And then after it goes back to you, we just go back and forth?
No, then he gets two.
Okay.
Well, all I know is I hear this guy's name being very good.
Lance.
Okay.
I got Reed Miller and Lance.
Yeah, that's good.
Strong pick.
Yeah, that's a pretty good two-pick.
I think he's the tallest producer here.
His name is not Lance.
It's Lance, L-A-N-Z.
What?
L-A-N-T-Z.
Lance.
Lance.
That's still Lance.
But his name's Danny.
Okay.
Too many Dannys, yo.
I think, Titus, I think you need to be thinking Rudy.
Rudy's too cool.
But he played college hockey.
No, but Rudy's what?
Basketball.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Rudy can't be bothered.
You want a sneaky one then?
Yeah, give me a sneaky one.
My guy Memes is a sneaky one.
Is he?
He's a pretty good all-around athlete.
He played college lacrosse.
He's good at basketball.
He's good at a lot of things.
Okay, give me memes.
Good pick.
Okay, now I think you need to go either.
There's a couple.
I don't want to help you too much.
Is Zupi decent at basketball?
I'm going.
I'll just draft the people I know.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Do that.
I'll help you when you get later. I feel good about Malasek. I. Whatever. Do that. I'll help you when you get later.
I feel good about Malasek.
I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll help you when you get later.
You've seen him shoot a basketball.
That's okay.
But basketball's not the game.
Malasek is a locker room.
Right, Hank?
You just said it's like not really basketball.
It's like he's a locker room.
You're drafting athletes.
Yeah.
All-around athletes.
That's why I was saying Rudy.
This feels insane, i i'm i'm going but he's an insane man and i could see him like busting his ass this entire
yes you're right you're right uh right oh you're being right you're right you're right i'm going
connor griffin oh no you're wrong you're very wrong that was wrong well i'm gonna
that's a great pick connor connor is going to Connor, you're fired if you don't take this super seriously.
I don't know if I have a choice.
I'm going to go ahead.
Are you going to take the one that you thought he was just going to?
With my second pick, I will.
But I'm going to go ahead and the Mostly Sports couch will explode here
because I'm taking Ebo.
Okay.
I'm going to pick Ebo guy.
He'll be good for dodgeball.
I'll be honest.
I did not even see Ebo on the list.
And the one you guys thought, I believe, I'm going to take Fasoli.
No, that was not Fasoli.
Now I'm going to kill myself.
He's a decent basketball player.
Okay, I forgot you were on there, Mook.
I'm going to end it all.
No, no.
One of my best friends in the world is still on this board.
All-around athletes.
Yeah, that doesn't...
I think Rudy's a strong pick. Also, my guy Shane is also one of our producers, also pretty good all-around athletes. Yeah, that doesn't... I think Rudy's a strong pick.
Also, my guy Shane is also one of our producers,
also pretty good all-around.
Can I point out one thing?
There's a guy out there that...
Evan's got something to prove.
His title is Titus Editor.
Yeah, we don't want...
Yeah, yeah, Cody stinks.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cody stinks.
As a person and a player.
Do we ever talk about the text that he sent you?
Yeah, when he sent me a picture of a bus
stop in wrigleyville and he said wrigleyville fucks yeah like late at night yeah he also had
chinese food for the first time last weekend right here yeah this was what he yeah he moved
to chicago in august and it's like 11 30 and i'm crawling into bed and i just get a text from cody
and it just says wrigleyville fucks and it's a picture of a bus stop.
He wasn't trying to be funny.
But that's not why I'm drafting. I've seen him
play. He's a late round
guy. I would like to get Cody on the team
eventually, but I'm not picking him
with my fourth pick, is it?
Let me go with
I'll go with Rudy.
I'll go with Rudy. That's a good pick. I'll go with Rudy.
That's a good all-around pick. He's a good athlete.
And he'll make your team look good.
Looks-wise.
Some of the other picks that we've been
talking about.
Titus has three college athletes.
There's some other guys who are on this list who maybe
And I do think Connor was a good
Connor is going to take this
very seriously.
You have three
college athletes in a walk-on pool.
And any time you can get a red-headed Connor from Philadelphia,
you've got to score.
You have to do it.
It's the only one on the board.
You have to do it.
Because I want my team to be like my guys.
A thousand percent.
That I know well.
I don't really know most of the college people.
There's still two college athletes on the board. Oh. Oh, yeah. I know well. I don't really know most of the other people. There's still two college athletes on the board.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
I know one of them.
I don't know if I know both of them.
Is it my turn again?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Do you want to?
You know what?
Oh, yeah.
I know both college athletes.
I think I know.
Who you thought we were going to think.
Yeah, I'm just going with, like,
who's going to take this super fucking seriously.
Yes, he will. And I'm going with Max. Yep max yep yep he is one of the college athletes on the board
glue guy he max will team fire max will die for you yeah so i think i'm worried about like the
cuteness of your team now yeah took a hit and he also there's been some rumors that he might be a
pedophile little boy oh yeah well he tweeted little boy ass play last time.
Google search.
He's claiming it was little boy ass play.
It sounds like little boy ass play.
I think I'm taking the other college athlete, I think.
Chuck?
Yep.
Yeah.
Give me Chuck.
Who's Chuck?
Neso. Neso. He's always in the golf world. Oh, Okay, so I'll pick. Give me Chuck. Pick. Who's Chuck? Neso.
Neso, he's always in the golf club. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I know Chuck.
He played baseball in Illinois.
I know Chuck.
I think.
It was me, but I.
These are just late rounds.
Yeah.
He's kind of done that.
I know this joke could go on, but I think he is a good athlete.
Yeah.
So I'm.
Come on, Moot.
Oh, come on, Brandon.
You ruined it.
I know I ruined it.
You set it up perfectly, too, to be like, I don't want this joke.
I just want it.
I want it.
The way you were setting it up with your comedic wit, I was like,
there's one name I know he's not going to say.
And you just ruined it.
I don't really have the wit.
Brandon, I'm a dog.
Yeah, I know.
I'm ready to fight.
Okay.
Titus, you're going to get destroyed now.
Oh, no.
You made the worst enemy possible.
My names are ridiculous on my team.
Titus, would you like help?
Yeah, I need help now.
Okay.
We should pick the girls.
Trey's actually a pretty good basketball player.
Okay. Trey's a good basketball player. Big body. Trey's actually a pretty good basketball player. Okay.
Trey's a good basketball player.
Big body.
Trey's a jokic.
Yeah, you can put him in the paint.
Okay, yeah, give me Trey then.
He's big body, yeah.
And Trey's also...
Trey ups, especially with the Malasek, Max, Rudy.
Trey makes your team IQ significantly higher.
I like that.
Because the rest of your team is a bunch of airheads.
Brandon, I have a sleeper for you when you're up.
For us?
It's us.
Oh, it's up?
No, it's not up yet.
I think it's us.
Give me... Who else?
I got to respect my captain.
Danny Conrad seems like he would be good at stuff.
Yeah.
I've never actually.
Yeah.
Shane also is a good all-around guy.
He would be a good, like, not going to talk too much or if ever.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's a tightest kind of guy.
I love that.
He will listen.
I don't want my team saying a fucking word this entire thing.
Yeah.
No, Shane is that.
Give me Shane then.
Yeah.
You're just putting together a part of my take team?
Well, I know my guys.
I'm giving them scouting reports.
Shane is not going to talk, but he will listen to everything,
and he will also try very hard.
I think Zupi's good at this.
No, Zupi was 100% the pick.
Well, first of all, I need to make this statement.
I will – we could do this draft 200 rounds. I'll never pick that bitch Jack McCarthy. No, Zupi was 100% the pick. Well, first of all, I need to make this statement. We could do this draft 200 rounds.
I'll never pick that bitch Jack McCarthy.
No, no.
I need everybody to know that.
He should be last pick for sure.
He's a piece of shit, and I'm not going to pick him.
Are you guys drug testing?
Zupi for sure.
We're going Zupi?
Yeah, he's an athlete.
We're going Zupi.
Zupi flies around and gets active.
So we're going Zupi there, and then...
I like Danny Conrad.
You like Danny Conrad?
I like Danny Conrad.
You're just not going to pick TJ?
He's your guy.
His name was way up at the top, and I didn't realize that it was...
It's kind of fucked.
I'm bad at basketball.
He's also Titus' guy.
Yeah, he's more my guy.
He's more my guy. I would say he's way Titus' guy. Yeah, he's more my guy. He's more my guy.
I would say he's way more my guy.
He's more your guy.
This is a great opportunity. He's right. I gotta have TJ.
TJ's on my team. Titus, that
should count as part of my
GMing. What are you saying? That you just
steered TJ to... Yep.
Okay. Just shitting on TJ right in front of him?
Well, no. TJ doesn't even... I'm not
gonna basketball. Titus, be a champion of women. No. Titus, do not. in front of him? Well, no. TJ doesn't need basketball. I'm not going to basketball. Yeah, Titus.
Be a champion of women.
No.
Titus, do not.
I don't want to win, dude.
Do not.
Come on.
Okay.
I like Danny Conrad.
Yeah, that's a good pick. I think that's...
Don't throw your hands up in the air.
Give me Danny Conrad.
I picked TJ as our guy.
You picked a fiery player.
I also think Matt Hinkle, the Sportsbook Social,
he's built kind of like an athlete.
Yeah, Hinkle would have been my first fucking pick.
Yeah, he is built kind of like an athlete.
He looks like he played sports.
Okay, yeah, give me him then.
Nice snag with Hinkle.
That's a great pick.
I'm going to grade our draft A+.
Okay.
You're one of the refs. I'm going to grade our draft A+. You're one of the refs.
I know.
I picked all my guys on one side.
I'll be totally on Brian's.
Brandon, you didn't think about this.
Brandon, you have to take McCarthy.
Brandon, he's
very good at basketball. You didn't think about
Big Cat's one of the refs, and I'm taking all of his guys.
There's
no chance.
Jack McCarthy's good at basketball.
No, you can't take him.
You can't take him, Brandon.
He's got handles.
He's a piece of shit.
Hey, I don't talk when you guys are having a team meeting.
He's by far the best player left on the board.
Yeah, but he's also a locker room cancer.
He's a fucking asshole.
He's probably top five on the whole page.
I thought we agreed to not take him.
No, no, no.
We have to take him.
You have to pick him. Mathematically, you do have to ask him. Jack McCarthy. Yep, there we go to not take him. No, no, no. You have to pick him.
Mathematically, you do have to ask him.
There we go.
Good pick.
I've always liked Jack, and I think he's going to be good for the team.
Should we be?
No, no.
Hey, you shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Give me Jack.
Shut the fuck up.
Okay.
I like Harry.
I think Harry's athletic.
Wait, no helping, TJ.
No helping. He's on the helping says who's been helping the whole
time what's the short the small name at the top i can't see that's evan who is evan evan is the
kid that gia crossed out of his shoes he's got something to prove we're gonna pass on him
that's the one okay um all right ferd cody isinand. Mad Dog and McKenzie.
Jerry Edits is – what's his name?
Lucas.
Lucas.
Okay.
He's not bad at basketball.
All right.
Tell me about Tom Lay.
I know him.
Tom Lay is athletic.
Cool shit.
Yeah, he's cool.
From New York.
I like Tom Lay.
Tom and Harry.
I love cigarettes.
He's my manager.
Yeah, I don't know how much.
He's going to get up and down the court twice and then –
Well, we played dodgeball too.
The defense will go out the door.
Yeah.
Give me – I'll take Cody now and I'll take Harry too, I think.
Cody and Harry.
Yeah.
I'm taking Mad Dog.
Nice.
And you've got to go Lucas.
Mad Dog and then I'm going –
You can't have Quiggs be Mr. Arella.
Yeah, I was going to say I kind of want Quigs instead of Lucas.
I don't know if Quigs is going to try in the basketball court.
You've got to remember the mini games are going to be.
Right, there's other things here.
Right.
I will quick.
Just in case there's some sort of video after this,
I'd like Quigs on our side.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Quigs.
I like Quigs.
Give me the two people left that did not get crossed
up by gia so somebody's oh pug going last what he's got something to prove he's got something
to prove that's my guy right there pug pug all right pug is it pug's a grinder he's the one who
stays up till 4 a.m making sure the the YouTube. But is he going to want to play for you?
Because his name came up and you laughed and said, fuck no, I don't want to take him.
Everybody here.
Now he's on your team.
I might poison.
Titus has the sexy names, but we have the grit.
I don't think so.
I don't think you have the grit.
Yeah, we got grit.
We got heart.
I mean, Max is literally a walking grit heart machine.
That's all he is.
But he loses at everything.
Yeah.
Fact.
The video coming out last night was him getting hit in the face. That's true. He does lose a walking grit heart machine. That's all he is. But he loses at everything. Yeah. Fact. The video coming out last night was him getting hit in the face.
That's true.
He does lose a lot.
I'm so excited for this.
Do you want to make any trades, Brandon?
Oh.
Do you want to propose any trades?
All right.
What can I do to...
Who do you want on my team?
We also need the chats watching, which I guess they are.
We need punishment wheel suggestions. uh yes please give us punishment what can i give you for rudy
you want rudy yeah what can i give you for rudy what could i what could i'll do i'll do
ebo rudy straight up i can't do ebo for rudy come on ebo rudy straight up i can't do ebo rudy
ebo's my guy i can't do evo for Rudy. That's crazy. Okay.
That's who I wanted.
I wanted Evo.
I literally didn't even see Evo's name on the list when we were doing the draft.
So I'm really hurt that I let him go.
Team Brandon, I think, is a lot better.
Yeah.
Again, dogs.
My first two, I constantly hear those as the two best basketball players here,
other than Titus.
Reed, Fasoli, he's going to go hard.
But again, basketball is not going to be where you score all your points. This is going to be the best day of his life until the following day.
Memes is very good at basketball, too.
Yeah.
Memes is very good at basketball.
And Trey is.
Trey's yokich.
Trey's yokich?
Memes is like, Trey bodied me on Friday,
and my whole chest is bruised because of it.
Yeah, he's Jokic.
Max is going to be a bowling ball on the basketball court.
Yeah.
And the refs are Big Cat and Jerry.
Yeah, you should have to be.
And so many times they're going to call fouls on Max.
Max is going to tip him like a banana peel.
Can I just say one request?
Because I helped construct this team,
and I'd like this team to win even though I'm unbiased.
You're a ref.
Let me finish. because I helped construct this team and I'd like this team to win even though I'm unbiased. You're a ref. I think you have no choice but to run
Max a point guard.
Max running the offense.
You should actually try to get your team
to learn a couple plays.
Oh yeah.
We're going to practice.
You run Ghost?
I'll have Rico on my bench.
Yeah.
Rico's my assistant.
Have Rico be the mop guy.
This is going to be so much fun.
God damn it.
Fly Rico in to be my assistant.
He gets here and we just put him in mop duty.
All right.
People are saying for punishments, gallon challenge.
I think that would probably be a bad idea.
Oil slick.
I don't even know what that means, but I like it.
Put one on the floor?
Yeah.
Laxatives.
I don't think so.
Is it an immediate punishment they have to do?
Is he bad?
We go over 5K, game stops, punishment wheel.
Eat an entire cheesecake?
Oh, we should have a pie.
Old cheesecake.
They want us to shit so bad.
Yeah.
Mintz spends the weekend at the losing team captain's house?
Yep.
God damn it.
Double Ritz?
No, we're done with it. And the thing is, it would be my house because even though he would watch
and be – y'all could convince him that I lost.
Or y'all could convince him whatever result y'all wanted.
And he's going to know where you live.
Yeah.
Well, actually, he'll just still be there from Thanksgiving.
It's true.
Oh, drunk goggles and rollerblades, definitely.
Yeah.
I think rollerblades, I'm kind of with with shouldn't rollerblades someone should
be there in the start i know my idea was that we have one player on each team be rollerblades and
if they score you get like 10 points oh yeah we're also going to have like a that hank a 75
like half court shots will be worth 25 points opposite free throw shots will be worth 75
because we just want people just chuck chuck. Can I just say?
Can we do the roller blade, though?
It would be so funny.
You don't think roller blades might be an advantage?
No, because shooting.
Real quick.
I'm flying down the court.
Are we abiding by the rules of basketball?
That is up to the refs.
No, no, no, no.
Are we playing basketball?
Yeah, five on five.
We're playing basketball.
Like yak basketball? We're not playing pick the ball, run it like a football. Yeah, five on five. We're playing basketball. Like yak basketball?
We're not playing pick the ball, run it like a football.
No, no.
Okay.
You're the commissioner, right?
So how do the rollerblades, how would they factor in?
You got to dribble.
You have to dribble while you're blading?
I would think so.
Or you run out and get a pass.
Hank, have Paige ankle weights.
That's a great one.
10-pound ankle weights.
Or maybe get a weighted vest. That's a great one. 10-pound ankle weights. Or maybe get a weighted vest.
That's good.
Good one, that person.
All right.
All right, this is going to be fun.
You guys going to do team names?
How do we – didn't you say we have to assign guys to certain –
That will – I'll send you guys the list of mini games.
You guys shouldn't – that should be part of the broadcast.
It's like, all right, it's dodgeball.
Send your three.
Here's my three guys.
Yeah.
It'll be dodgeball, golf, soccer shootout, bocce, hockey.
I love my team.
I love my guys. I love Mook. I love TJ.
Love you too, bro. Love them all.
Love you, bubba. Don't like Fasoli at all.
Hate Jack McCarthy.
Yeah.
McCarthy's going to score 400 points for us.
Bad vibes. Again, TJ,
you keep thinking it's bad.
Basketball's not...
All the points are in the game.
Unless you can hit three-quarter shots.
Right.
But Jack McCarthy's good at other sports.
He's good at sports.
He's good at throwing darts.
He's good at golf.
Basketball's important.
He just has no morals.
He's a bad person.
Basketball's important, but –
I'm going to offer Jack McCarthy $50 to just tank your entire game.
He'll do it.
He'll do it.
He'll do it.
He'll do it.
Immediately.
If he drives a Mercedes, he would do that.
No, but he's a drug addict. I can also eject him from the game. That'll do it. He'll do it. He drives a Mercedes. He would do that. No, but he's a drug addict.
I can also eject him from the game.
That's true.
You can't eject anybody from the game.
Oh, I can eject people from the game.
I'm going to bribe the shit out of Jersey Jerry.
You don't have to.
You got him. Why don't you do whatever you want?
This is easy.
You got to work on Jersey Jerry.
He's just going to do what you say?
No.
If you give him 100 bucks, he would...
You're right.
He would go against me.
Oh, actually, I told him I'm going to send him some cigars because he's smoking now.
Yeah.
I'm going to send him some cigars.
Vape wasn't enough.
Brandon Walker Smoking Lounge.
Acrylic nails.
By the way, late night...
Jerry late night? No, late... Jerry afterounge. Acrylic nails. By the way, late night. Jerry, Jerry, late night?
No, late.
Jerry After Dark.
Jerry After Dark debuts tonight.
I'm very excited for this.
Cool series that he's doing.
So tune in.
Connor Griffin just sent me a picture.
I got to send this to TJ.
Oh, I also sent TJ a great picture
Of Connor Griffin
Oh we're just all sending TJ pictures now
Of Connor Griffin
This better be good
This better not suck
Can we get a band update from you?
I'm in fog hat
I'm in a lot
Hank you ever been in fog hat?
Of course you haven't
Slow ride
That was me.
Smoke on the water as well.
That's deep purple.
Yeah.
But I'm in that.
All right, should we spin the wheel?
Spin the wheel.
Reminder, tomorrow we have a taped yak, which is very, very good.
It's a fun one.
Very fun.
Draft.
We have Kyle, Long, Will, and Jerry here for the draft.
Team draft.
First time we've ever done a team draft,
and I think we might have to make it a thing
because it added a fun wrinkle to how everything went down.
Team draft's the way to go.
Yeah, and one of the funniest moments.
TJ, can you send us that clip before tomorrow
so that we can use it for promo? One of the funniest moments. TJ, can you send us that clip before tomorrow so that we can use it for promo?
One of the funniest moments in Yak history with a simple question asked of Will Compton.
His CTE has been spitting.
Yeah.
So getting to work with Will this fall has been so much fun because I love Will.
He's just a fun guy to be around.
What I've learned about Will is if you do something with him for like an hour,
there will be at least one portion, one moment in that hour where his brain will just stop
and you just have to kind of snap in front of him and be like, Will, come back.
He's like, all right, I'm here.
So it's easy.
You just got to kind of plug him back in. Connor sent me this and said, bottom right, I'm here. So it's easy. You just got to kind of like plug them back in.
Connor sent me this and said, bottom right.
No shit.
Hell yeah.
No.
I mean, that's not him.
That's Connor Griffin?
That's him?
Yeah, who else would it be in the brother?
Yeah, bottom right.
I thought you were in the top row, man.
Let's go, Connor.
Diesel.
We're almost done, Tommy.
Come here.
Just come ask me.
Unless it's something bad.
Oh, that was Connor last night.
Oh, look at Connor.
Oh, see, Riff.
Nikki Smokes must have been so mad.
Now, wait.
Oh.
Those weren't bitches.
How are those not bitches?
What do you mean?
Because one's my goddamn sister.
Yeah, that one on the far right is the one I would...
One's my goddamn sister.
Oh, shit.
Connor, you dog.
I mean, Connor Griffin does what he wants.
Yeah.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying the way we were...
I don't think that's one of Nicky Smokes' group.
That's my sister.
You dog.
Do you want to show the coins?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, this is going to be Black Friday as well.
Friday, coins.
And we have erotica book.
Monday, erotica book.
Ready, ready, ready?
Bag.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Bottle opener.
Coin.
There's yak on the other side.
It's so sick.
That's sick.
Very cool.
I love that we made them easier to carry around. we gave them a reason yeah no it's not a coin whatsoever right they'll fit
right in your pocket yeah sick bottle opener it's got a key ring on it too if you want to
it's got a key ring oh god yeah fucking damn it okay yeah now what kind of powers does that coin
have that's a passionate kiss okay deep uh it Deep. Passionate means you have to also have both your hands on the person's head.
For one full second.
Yeah.
Got it.
Does it extend to cream pies?
No, no, no.
Okay.
Though, we haven't gotten there yet.
Wait, is Malasek here today?
Probably not.
That is a belt buckle.
It's work.
Can you yell for Jake up there?
See if Jake's up there.
Say, Jake.
Jake?
Who answered?
I was going to say, if Malasek was here,
we could have had Hank do the Yak Challenge.
Oh, wow.
We could do it.
Have Tommy do it.
Somebody call the Academ Yak.
Wait, Academ Yak Decathlon.
Hank, would you like to go?
Academ Yak Decathlon.
Sure.
We'll get someone in the goal.
All right, set it up.
Why don't you spin our regular wheel?
Let's have Hank give it a shot. We're not going to put Tom in the goal, though. No, no, no don't you spin our regular wheel let's have hank give it a
shot no no we'll put one of us in goal i was saying have tommy do the challenge
spin our regular wheel
do you know all the do you know it all Hank, or do we need to help you?
Here we go.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Uh-oh.
Rise spell
over.
Do we put a boy on the wet wheel?
We can't put a boy on the wet wheel.
Brandon.
By the way, I took a shower yesterday.
I took a shower yesterday. I knew that it was there.
It was so apparently there.
Really?
Yeah.
There's a microphone hanging down from it.
It hit wet.
It's not like a big room.
Is Tommy on the wheel?
Yeah.
Okay.
Anything to help your odds.
Hank, unfortunately, you're on the wheel as well.
I'll do the challenge wet if I have to.
That's a guy.
All right.
TJ, find out who's getting wet while they set up the challenge.
It's cornhole.
Oh, fuck.
Cornhole, soccer.
Football.
No, soccer, wiffle ball, football, shot, shot, three-point shot, three-point shot.
Sit down.
You got to get 10 right on Sporkle.
Oh, fuck. You'll be fine on Sporkle. Oh, fuck.
You'll be fine on Sporkle.
As long as you don't get fucked like I did yesterday.
There's usually one Sporkle category that you can just rip off.
Megan was on the show, right?
No.
Today?
Wait a minute.
Yeah, I think she was.
Yeah, she kind of was.
Land's on wet.
We just have every female co-worker.
Hey, come on the act.
Shit. lands on wet we just have every female come on shit well
they all set up
I'll get it all
it's going to be me today I really do think so
is it one spin or is it
elimination that's not a lot of names
I would like to see more names.
Put Mark on there twice.
No, that's not what I said.
Tommy, good job, Tommy.
I feel like that's good.
Tommy, first name off.
He would have done it.
I'm dry as hell.
Oh, God.
Dry guy.
Oh, that big red sliver.
Leave it, TJ.
Leave it.
The big red sliver.
Leave it.
I want to
We should do it all the same color wheel
Yes, it's bad
You can't be nervous yet, I'll tell you when to be nervous
Give it to me Wait, is that okay or Titus? I can't tell. Now you can be nervous.
I got it.
God damn it.
Nick, I'm feeling you, dude.
I know, I felt it as soon as it started.
Yes! Way to be. Oh! Oh!
Yes!
Way to be.
That's fucking sick. Way to be.
Thank you for that.
Are you allowed to be soaking wet at the airport?
Fucking sick.
I'm not going to do this.
That's a disaster.
Fucking sucks.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
Me and UBC.
God damn it!
Who's the best of seven now?
Tommy, who's going to get wet?
First to four stays dry?
Yeah, if there's a sweep, you have to piss your pants.
Oh, I'm fucked.
I'm fucked.
Here we go.
This is destined for me.
You feeling a sweep?
Fuck.
What do you mean, fuck?
It's the most dangerous leading wheel.
I think I'm getting swept.
Oh, no.
All right, you got one.
I'm back.
It's over, it's over. I was getting ready to just start pissing my pants right here.
I would have just immediately started pissing.
I lost.
2-1.
We're all tied up.
Fuck.
2-2.
First to four stays dry.
I have to do Jeff D'Lo's trivia game after this.
It's called The Dozen.
His trivia game.
His trivia game is so weird.
Fuck.
Yes!
I have to change your clothes if you need some. I have to go to the airport. I know. I have to change your clothes if you need some.
I have to go to the airport.
I know.
I have to get your clothes.
You want me to go?
I'll take a piss and I'll get you some clothes you can get wet in.
All right.
All right.
Can I get wet as tribute?
Can I get wet for him?
Yeah, if you want to.
Wet for TJ.
He's got to go to the airport.
It's water, not a bomb. Well, he's got to go to the airport. It's water, not a bomb.
Well, he's got to go to the airport.
He's got to go to the plane.
This guy's soaking wet.
He must be a terrorist.
It was TJ?
There's towels, too.
TJ, why is it always you?
It's always TJ.
We do have towels.
It's because I didn't run the gauntlet yesterday when it landed on me.
Wow.
That's right.
The wheel knows.
Why don't you?
There's a bunch of clothes lying around.
Yeah, we got clothes.
Yeah.
Of course, none of mine fit you.
What is that hoodie, TJ?
That crew neck?
That's mostly sports, brother.
I like it.
That's mostly sports.
We're going to have three shirts available in the Barstool store on Friday.
I like that.
What's good with your head, Brandon?
That's crazy.
It's a long head.
Yeah, I don't know why.
Yeah, it looks like an Easter Island statue.
Should we promo ours?
Ours.
Our Henny Friday shirts are back in the store as well.
Sorry, sorry.
Go ahead.
I think I might wear your guys' to Thanksgiving dinner.
It got taken off the store.
Yep.
It didn't even get up there.
They pulled it this morning.
Barstool Kush?
No, no, no.
Oh.
Not gay.
Not gay.
Oh, oh.
I thought Barstool Kush.
Yeah, we got a text this morning like, we're so sorry, but they like, the higher, I don't even want to talk about it.
Yeah.
I guess it's now like a resale item.
There's only a few floating out there.
Yeah, there's three, four that exist.
I bet you they would have let us put out gay.
Am gay? Am gay?
Am gay.
Not straight?
Yeah, we could put out not straight.
He refused my tribute, so he's going to do it himself, TJ.
Respect.
He's a just man.
You could have tried harder.
Wait, who's going to – TJ is all soaking wet.
Who's going to run the clock and everything for your run
or should we do that
before TJ gets wet
I can do it right now
I'm going to do it in like a minute
yeah
you're going to do it in a minute
the sporkle might be hard
who's playing goalie
I think Connor Griffin
Connor you're in goal
hey
you better fucking be in goal too
alright
you want me to warm it up
I've watched the shot of Zaz kick me.
TJ.
However many views it has, I have half.
Are we going to go get wet and then he's going to come back?
Running the clock wet.
Is he in there?
Yeah, he's getting wet.
Can we watch shower cam?
Oh, I guess we don't have anybody to cut to it.
Shower cam still up?
We're so powerless without TJ.
Yeah, can we watch him on the camera that we definitely took down immediately?
Isn't there anymore?
Tommy, what are you doing?
Don't just stand in here, buddy.
You want to sit down?
You can sit down.
They took the camera out.
What?
That makes perfect sense.
Good.
Good.
Or did they?
They just made it smaller.
Just move it.
That's from a below angle now.
I think that's the last place I'd want to see myself naked from.
The bottom's up.
Oh, God.
That's like a land uninhibited.
Yeah, that's untouched territory.
We need Sacagawea.
There might be a tribe down there that's never seen humanity living in my gooch.
There's like a drone. They're shooting arrows.
Your asshole starts shooting arrows.
Got him!
They've never seen technology. But they've seen your taint.
Yeah, that's their land yeah
oh my god so what is this uncontacted tribe yeah that lives in that lives in my
all my taint the girl tried to visit it and she got killed. No, she did a mission. It was missionary.
So now that we have no camera, TJ is going to get wet and coming back.
Yeah, he's coming back and then he'll do it.
So, Hank, you understand the challenge.
Cornhole, soccer, wiffle ball, football, basketball, basketball, sport.
Yeah, and the wiffle ball, you just have to hit it above second level. You also are getting a little bit of advantage having me in goal and not Malasek.
Malasek is a fucking monster.
I thought we were putting Connor Griffin in goal.
Oh, Connor Griffin?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Connor, you up for goalie?
Wherever he is, he's agreed to it.
He might be with TJ right now getting the camera footage.
Yeah, watching him get wet.
Brandon has the record right now.
What held you up the most?
It's totally random.
It's totally random.
The soccer holds most people up the most because Malinczak's a beast.
Football also is tricky.
Football's tricky.
Basketball really tripped me up the most because malice acts a beast football also is tricky football's tricky basketball really tripped me up the most which was weird but and uh football you have to hit it direct so it can't hit off of a bounce because football if you miss like five times you got to
go and get the ball and come back that sucks it was it was crazy brandon can tommy have a giant
inflatable yo for his room?
Oh, yeah.
Tommy couldn't get the water off either.
No, you got to turn it the other way.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Oh, it's getting real wet in there.
Put it back in.
And turn it towards you.
Wiggle it around.
Turn it towards you.
Other way.
Keep turning. Keep turning Keep turning
Maybe not
No it's just loose
The cat
Alright two Under Armour I guess
In the shower
The shower doesn't work
What?
Yeah it's just not working all right two under armor or not body armor why am i saying under armor
i said under armor like twice just do two bottles of body armor in the shower room
i'm going to get my christmas tree today connor's coming back up he's getting it right now Just do two bottles of body armor in the shower room.
I'm going to get my Christmas tree today.
Connor's coming back up. He's getting it right now.
You're going what?
He's getting it right now.
He's coming back up.
I am too.
I'm going real.
Really?
Yeah.
That's a big commitment this far out.
I'm a legend.
I'm a motherfucking beast, brother.
Are they more expensive? I haven't bought a real tree in 20 years. I bought a fake tree beast, brother. Are they more expensive?
I haven't bought a real tree in 20 years.
I bought a fake tree for like 60 bucks.
I'm going 15 footer.
I'm going 15 footer too.
I'm going to go probably 17 feet.
How are you going to get it anywhere?
Rent a car.
How are you going to... An 18 wheeler?
Are you going to put it in your guest room?
No, I'm going to put it in the living room.
You're going to put a 17-footer on top of a Toyota Camry?
Yeah.
I got it figured out.
Actually, don't your...
Your living room has lower ceilings than...
Right?
I don't have ceilings in my apartment.
You don't have ceilings.
No.
Eventually.
No.
Every room has a ceiling eventually.
It becomes a roof.
Then it's not a room.
It's so high up, it's roof.
So you just have three rooms and a roof.
Yeah.
No ceilings.
Your apartment's like endless.
Yeah.
It's a limitless place.
It's really trippy.
It knows no bounds.
Ceiling is the roof.
Max.
What MJ said.
I have a new chill spot too Where's your chill spot?
Little cove I found
You're still finding coves in your apartment?
Mm-hmm
I think I'm gonna get mints out in the boat this weekend
Yeah
You're gonna
Fredo Corleone
Yeah
I'm gonna kill him and drown him It'll be funny Bury him in the lake That weekend. Yeah. You're going to Fredo Corleone. Yeah. I'm going to kill him
and drown him.
It'll be funny.
Bury him in the lake.
That's a funny joke too.
I think it'd be hilarious.
It's just a prank.
Yeah.
Is the weather going to be
nice this weekend?
I think it's going to be cold.
He's coming home
for Thanksgiving dinner.
No, it's not going to be that cold.
It's going to be 40s.
No, this week?
Yeah, it was supposed to be
really cold.
I thought it was getting
down to like 30s.
Oh, it might get down to 30s. And then the forecast. 45 and sunny on Thanksgiving day is going to be 40s? No, this week? Yeah, it was supposed to be really cold. I thought it was getting down to like 30s. Oh, it might get down to 30s.
And then the forecast changed.
45 and sunny on Thanksgiving Day is going to be great.
Yeah, it must have changed because last week it made it look like it was like the seventh circle of Polar Hill.
Buddy, that's not that cold.
No, it had like a –
30s is still not cold.
It had like high of 18.
It had like high of 23, I think, for a second.
And then I don't know what –
50% chance of snow on Sunday.
We're just talking about the weather now, so.
I have a question.
This one's limping to the finish.
I have a question for you guys.
At what age did you stop getting like blackout drunk at your hometown bar on Thanksgiving Eve?
I never did.
I never did it.
You guys never did it.
27?
27.
I'm going to try to, if anybody out there knows a good hometown bar to go to in Chicago,
I want to go mingle.
Once I went to the bar and it was all people that I didn't know because they were younger,
that's when I was like, this is just weird.
Last year I went and I was like, oh, you're eight years younger.
We didn't even go to high school together.
Yeah.
There he is.
He's wet.
Oh, he's wet.
Oh, yeah.
He is wet.
Love it, TJ.
His sweatshirts look good wet.
They look really good wet.
TJ looks good wet. Yeah. He looks is wet. Love it, TJ. His sweatshirts look good wet. They look really good wet. TJ looks good wet.
Yeah.
He looks great wet.
TJ, no cheat day on Thanksgiving?
No, I don't think so.
Damn.
God.
Did you see the picture I posted?
Did y'all see the fat picture?
I know.
It's amazing.
You look incredible.
You know, you got to enjoy yourself every now and then.
Nope.
Day 100, maybe I'll have something.
I don't know, a piece of bread.
Oreo.
Oreo.
Piece of bread. I mean, I respect'll have something. I don't know, a piece of bread. Oreo. Piece of bread.
I mean, I respect you.
You just keep going.
Keep chugging along.
You can eat turkey.
Yeah.
TJ, have you almost folded at all?
I had a dream that I had a big-ass breakfast sandwich like three weeks ago.
I woke up pretty pissed off about it.
All right, Hank, you ready?
Yeah.
All right, let's do it.
I have a feeling Hank's going to be dog shit.
I think he's going to be good until Sporkle.
Well, it all depends on Connor.
It's random. It's like a bunch of categories.
He's mentally weak, I think.
Hank is going to be
very reliant on the right Sporkle.
You've got to put the bags on the ground.
You can't be touching them.
All of them on the ground. put the bags on the ground. Can't be touching them. All of them
on the ground.
Time to shine,
boss man.
Alright, hold on.
I'll count you down when we're ready.
Ready?
Alright.
Switch the camera.
Three. You can move up a little bit, Hank. Ready? All right. Switch the camera. Yep.
Three.
You can move up a little bit, Hank.
It's the trippiest cornhole board ever.
Three, two, one, go.
Yep.
Oh.
Oh.
He's airballing.
Oh, he's getting over it.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
We've never seen someone use all the bags.
Yeah.
He's getting there, though.
He's getting there.
There it is.
There you go.
There it is.
You can make it up.
You can make it up.
Oh.
Get out of that ball.
All right.
Reset.
Connor Griffin, can he do it?
Oh.
Connor Griffin.
Oh.
Oh.
His shoe.
His shoe.
He lost his shoe.
He lost his shoe. He lost his shoe.
Wait, being goalie might be easy.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Come on, Hank.
You can get close now, Hank.
I think he's been getting close.
Oh, there it is.
Whiffle ball.
This should be easy for him, right?
Oh, he's doing one.
Oh, no.
Yep.
Oh, he didn't even try to pick up that ball.
Oh, no.
This is harder than it looks.
He's one-shoed right now.
Oh, no.
One shoe is a problem.
Ditch the other shoe.
Yeah, you got to balance out.
You got to balance.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Folks, just relax.
Relax. Relax. I have PTSD right relax. Relax.
Relax.
I have PTSD.
Relax.
No.
Relax.
Ball.
There it is.
There it is.
Football.
You can get to the corner or the circle.
The circle.
The closest circle.
Volleyball circle.
Well, the record's intact, Brandon.
I think it is.
Oh, no.
He's lobbing it.
Oh, yeah.
I hear noises.
There it is.
No.
Oh, no.
Man.
This is hard to watch.
This is hard to watch.
This is my fucking boss, man.
There it is.
There it is.
Two shots. All right, Hank, two shots. There it is. There it is. Two shots.
All right, Hank.
Two shots.
You got this.
All right.
He's a good shooter.
Yeah, he is.
I made my first one.
Focus up, boss man.
All right, Hank.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
A little off balance right now.
There you go.
There it is.
There it is.
Wheeler down.
A lot of bags to avoid.
Yep.
He's composed.
He got it back.
He's our first righty lefty guy. He's got a clean jump. Hits right. There. Yep. He's composed. He got it back. He's our first righty-lefty guy.
He's got a clean jump.
Hits right.
There it is.
Shoots left.
All right.
Smorkle.
Here we go.
Here we go.
All right.
What was the question?
NFL players with most games played, that might be something you can work on.
13 original calls.
One real name for artists known as Diddy.
Yeah, same.
Puff Daddy.
Sean Combs.
There it is.
13 original colonies might be something you can get.
Will Ferrell's Sportsman.
Talladega Nights.
I thought it was a reading test.
Correct.
Mark Wahlberg.
Where's Mark Wahlberg?
Massachusetts.
Pennsylvania.
One S, two Ts.
Pennsylvania.
Qatar.
Qatar.
You got this, Hank.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus. You're just picking the hardest to spell. Yeah, this, Hank. Come on.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
You're just picking the hardest to spell.
Yeah, the longest names.
Yeah.
Eastbound and down main character.
S, S.
Danny, fuck, McBride.
Oh, UIS.
I think it's the character's name.
R-E-Y?
E-Y, E-Y, E-Y.
Oh, my God.
E-Y?
No, no, no.
Dreyfus was E-Y.
Keep going, Hank.
F-U-S. F-U-S.
F-U-S.
Tom Brady.
Is that right?
Is the E on the end of?
Oh, I should get that.
Tom Brady.
Okay.
Brett Favre.
You only have to get nine.
You have to get ten, yeah.
Two more.
What's going on?
What's going on?
Four-wheel Sparrow.
Grape.
Grape.
Nice.
That's it, right?
No, one more.
One more.
Five, six.
Theril Sport. No, he's nine. And Julia Louis Dreyfus. Yeah.pe, nice. That's it, right? No, one more, one more. Five, six. Feral Sport.
No, he's nine, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
Yeah.
No, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is not the character's name.
Oh, we got to do one more.
Oh, the Eastbound question.
Eastbound.
Virginia.
It's the character's names that you're looking for.
There it is.
Like Penny Powers.
Winner not found.
Not great.
$103,000. $103,000.
$404,000. Where does he
land? Is he real?
Is he a real one? No, I think he's...
Oh, no.
So nobody was even in the four club.
Yeah, Hank, that's cool.
That's pretty cool. Four club.
Damn.
I need better shoes
on today. At that point, you just want to be
in the fives with the real ones.
Yeah.
The real ones are in the five pluses.
That's tough.
I'm embarrassed.
All right.
We had two legitimate professional athletes.
Yeah, I mean, just completely like.
Oh, did you see that tweet I sent to you guys?
Oh, yeah.
Someone said Delaney Walker looked like Stanley stanley from the office oh yes i showed it to delaney he shook his head he was like damn dude
i was like yeah man 14 years in the nfl few pro bowls it's all undone all undone in five minutes
i also have to go catch a flight alright we'll see everyone tomorrow for
a very special Yak Thanksgiving
draft special draft
so tune in and then
we'll see everyone back on Monday for
what's going to be an incredible day at the office
with everything going on
and yeah have a safe and
happy Thanksgiving everyone
happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. Yay. have a good Thanksgiving, everybody.
I'm thankful for you guys.
Stahl, what are you thankful for?
I am thankful.
I am very thankful for you guys, too.
Everybody stay safe out there.
Yeah.
Buy some merch this weekend.
Bye.