The Yak - Our 500th YouTube Episode Was Blessed With An All-Time Moment | The Yak 3-14-23
Episode Date: March 14, 202310x, love you guysYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Somebody submitted a Yak theme song.
Yes, they did.
Yeah, let's give that a play.
It's very cool.
I will say I liked it.
It's heavy.
I personally said it was too aggressive to be a daily thing.
Play it right now. I put a huge smile on my face.
Hell yes.
500th episode. We did it. Hell yes. 500th episode.
We did it.
Holy fuck.
I always wanted to end a show exactly at 500.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's do it.
All right.
Hey.
We should have done that.
Just did a five-minute show.
And been done forever?
Yeah.
Man, that would have been funny.
That is how this show will end.
We will never tell anyone.
Just walk off.
Just one day. Just won't be there.
I think we need to, I was thinking about it more about the 12-hour episode.
We need to take the power back and start trolling back.
We get owned.
So I want to do like a 10-hour episode, 11-hour episode, just end it.
11.59.
Yeah.
Hope you're never getting it.
How is that taking the power back?
We're going to edge them.
Don't get too...
Don't you start to unwrap it.
I'm owning myself.
Please don't do that.
We should do a week where every episode's 11 hours.
Yeah.
That would get them.
11 hours.
They'd see.
That's so good.
They'd be sick.
Holy fuck.
Finally get the last laugh.
500 episodes, though.
Welcome in.
500 on YouTube.
500 on YouTube.
Which is the 500th episode of the Yak.
On YouTube.
On YouTube.
Which has been the, I mean, you know, took it to another level.
Superior version of the Yak.
Yeah.
More evolved.
Just don't have the vibes.
Oh, I miss you.
Let's get this copyright infringed.
Let's fucking do vibes. Let's just do it.
It could do one, right? What even happens?
We have three strikes, right? We don't get monetized?
Yeah, and I think we get strikes.
It'll be taken down, yeah.
Sucks. Sucks.
You do the Roback ad? We try to do it live.
Of course I can do the Roback ad ad. I am the Roebuck ad.
Are you wearing Roebuck?
Of course I'm wearing Roebuck.
I am too right now.
For $500, of course I'm wearing Roebuck because it's very comfortable.
It's versatile.
It's all of those things.
Agile, hostile, mobile.
It has the best fit, the best feel, the quality.
I said it's almost methodical.
The comfort, the material, everything is top-notch,
fresh off a restock of the most comfortable joggers.
You are wearing the joggers today, aren't you?
I am wearing the joggers.
I love the joggers.
They're my favorite joggers.
You're not going to want to miss out.
They're functional, versatile, comfortable.
These joggers check off every box.
Their performance hoodies, which is what I'm wearing,
are quite possibly the softest hoodies we've ever had.
When paired with the joggers,
there's not a more comfortable combo that you can have
on your body.
Use code YAK on Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week.
That's R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
That's 20% off all performance hoodies, joggers, and polos with code YAK.
Ready for spring with Roback.
Yes.
The most comfortable.
Yeah.
Shit, Brandon.
Feels good on my skin.
By the way, since we're 500th episode, I had a question.
We had Ari Shafir on PMT this morning.
He's been on the YAK?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wasn't here for that day.
I started to look to ask him something that just said Ari Shafir on the YAK.
Fuck.
You should do a clips episode. Did Fuck. You should do a clips episode.
Did you?
You should do a clips episode.
So when Ari Shaffir came on the yak,
did you ask him about dosing Bert Kreischer
and he said that it was someone else?
I asked him if he did ketamine for depression
and I stuck him for Neil Brennan.
So he did, but he didn't.
Same vibe, same squirrely vibe, yeah.
But he did dose Bert Kreischer, though.
I don't know.
He may have.
I think he did.
I mean, Burt's probably the one guy you can do that and have him not be mad.
He was furious.
He destroyed Ari's career for a while.
Really?
Oh, this was a big thing.
It was massive.
There's TikToks of him talking about it.
He was like, the one thing that he gets worried that he gets taken advantage of or something
like that. And like he said Ari knew that
about him and he still took advantage
of him or some shit. Are they not friends?
I doubt it. I don't know.
That's like a thing that all those dudes do that though.
They're always dosing each other.
We should start dosing each other. I used to do
it all the time with my friends and then fake dosing
them. Yeah. Did I
am I.
Russian roulette dose show.
Which makes sense why I'm an asshole now.
Yeah. Because like I came from the mud.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It was never fun in college when you like have your first beer of the night, you're excited
and then like it's four days later.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Nick, what do we have in front of us oh happy ML cake day
oh
I had a dream
actually
365 days ago on the dot
as of today that I would be
on a daily YouTube show
it's come true
is it your one-year anniversary?
I want to make it a thing.
Okay.
Damn.
But I didn't know.
I have all kinds of cakes,
and I don't know how this is going to work,
but today we're doing ML Cake.
ML Cake.
Yeah.
I forget what it even is.
What is it?
It's never a thing.
I think it was just I needed one more pun,
and MLK Day was coming up, and I was like, oh, perfect.
Is this a challenge?
No.
The game is wheel-based, and if you don't pass your challenges, you have to eat a slice of cake.
Ooh.
Okay.
It's challenges.
It is challenges.
It's challenges.
It is challenges. Some are challenges. It is challenges.
Some are team.
Some are individual.
Some are one-on-one.
Heck, you bastard.
This is great for a 500th episode.
You absolute bastard.
In order to celebrate first, can we open up the small bag?
Brandon, maybe you?
By the way, Yak 500th episode shirts are live.
So we have exclusive shirts that are
only today. Can we zoom in?
I don't.
Oh my god.
That is awesome.
Can we get that as a poster?
Yeah, probably.
That's so cool.
All 500 thumbnails.
Cupcakes, yeah.
Oh, it's all 500 of them?
Squeezed onto the...
Is it?
That's sweet.
Double Ritz.
Key.
KB's Wild.
We're going down memory lane.
And we have a special offer, right, Jay?
Jay? Yes, sorry, Jay? Jay?
Yes.
Sorry, I was going on my mic.
Use code YAK500 in the Barstool store and get $0.05 off any Yak item.
$0.05 sounds pretty cool.
That could be $5,000.
Who knows?
Before you do the math.
I want one of those shirts.
Yeah, I would also like one of those shirts.
You got to buy them, brother.
I'll get it.
500 cents off.
Only available today.
Only available today.
Only today.
There's all the copyright shit that we have.
Funny copyright shit.
It smells like truffle.
Is there truffle in any of the shit?
Oh, no.
Oh, there's truffle.
I just searched cupcake on Grubhub.
Got those.
Smells like saffron.
And then there's some cake.
There's two.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know how this is going to go.
Wild move to do cake on Pi Day of all days.
Wait, shut the fuck up.
Oh, it is 3.14234862579.
Dork alert.
I heard today's another holiday.
What? It was all wrong. No, it was all wrong. I heard today's another holiday. What?
It was all wrong.
No, it was all wrong.
I just like to say it.
Last year, Kasey Smith told me that 3-14 is a holiday, and I didn't know it.
And she said 3-14 is steak and blowjob day.
Did y'all know today was steak and blowjob day?
Kate, what have you prepared?
Not with you.
Pop these suckers out.
That's an actual thing. You can Google that. Yeah yeah that's called everyday bro we're guys it's taking blowjob day i give a blowjob to someone every day
fellas keep it under five there it is this is a uh what unofficial holiday hold on it's satirical
satirical unofficial day what the fuck one month after valentine's day so it's satirical? Satirical unofficial day. What the fuck? One month after Valentine's Day.
Sounds like you got got, bro.
Doesn't sound like I did.
I'm going to make a judgment.
If anyone celebrates
this, it's the biggest loser in the world.
I don't think they are. I refused
a few blowjobs on the way into work.
I won't take a blowjob today.
I'll stand with
women's rights. I'll be honest, I was nervous blowjob today. I'll stand with women's rights.
I'll be honest.
I was nervous coming in today.
Yeah.
A lot of dicks to blow.
There is a small chance on the wheel that you may have.
Right.
Yeah.
Hopefully it's just cake.
Because it is lame to like celebrate it.
But if you do celebrate it, like everyone has to follow the rules.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Imagine your girlfriend or wife or significant other, or maybe your boyfriend, whatever,
is like, hey, it's steak and blowjob day.
I got to blow you.
Yeah, but- That would be cool.
Yeah, but it's her first year together, and she's always celebrated it.
Yeah.
Oh, good point, bro.
Oh, no.
I have it marked.
All right.
Hey, wait a second.
You're not on some head.
I thought it was cool.
Apparently, I just brought the lamest holiday of all time.
I like steak.
No, it's not lame.
It's lame if you take it dead serious.
No, it's lame. Like, where's my you take it dead serious. No, it's lame.
Like, where's my blowjob?
Like getting mad at your girlfriend.
Yeah, right.
Did you forget what today was?
Yeah.
I see a steak.
Why isn't my dick getting sucked?
Or you're sucking my dick, but I'm eating chicken.
Yeah, right.
This is bullshit.
And for the record, you have to be eating the steak while it's happening.
Same time.
That's known.
Where's my fucking blowjob?
Yeah, that was good.
It was cooked well.
My dick is dry.
Makes no sense.
To eat the steak, you have to finish the steak while you get a blowjob.
You know what?
Just forget it.
Thousands of men need it.
Forget I brought it up.
Forget I brought it the fuck up.
Let's have cupcakes.
Oh, Brandon, I think you can do a girls' night tonight.
All right, have fun.
Yeah.
I guess I'll be at home.
I guess I'll just blow myself.
What's your sister doing?
Someone's going to have to suck this dick.
Like two in the morning.
Honey, why don't you come to bed?
Well, my dick hasn't been sucked yet.
I'd like steak or blowjob day oh i'd always go if i see you eating a steak i'm just like all right what's up yeah
steak well steak lasts longer yeah personally or if you see someone sucking dick and then they try
for their steak later Steak flavored cum You feel gross
I think cum flavored cum is gross too
Yeah
No knocking till you try it brother
This cum tastes like cum
You bro stick to the classics
Oh okay
Alright let's see which one Sass is getting
Alright
How about Diplo having sucked
Or got his dick sucked off by a dude
That's awesome
Wait you did?
Yeah it was on TMZ today.
Dave was commenting on it.
Wait, what?
He's like, yeah, I got my dick sucked by a dude,
but it doesn't make me gay.
Mouth to mouth.
Remember when he had that tweet?
Doing girls is fun.
But what was it?
Isn't he like 48 when he sent that off?
Yeah, no, it was doing girls.
Me and Glennie were talking about this though i feel like if
you're a celebrity who has a ton a ton a ton a ton of sex you get probably bored with it so you
mix it up we'll throw a little penis in there yeah it was like steven tyler probably banged
dudes but i don't think he's necessarily gay i think that was a formula for many rock stars yeah
or for just dudes to be able to justify that they're not bisexual. Right, yeah.
You know what I mean?
They're like,
oh, I just have so much fucking sex
that I'm bored in fucking dudes.
It's possible a man
could have slipped in there.
Remember that dude
who posted on Reddit
a picture of his dad
with David Bowie
in like the 70s
riding a motorcycle together?
Yeah.
And everyone was like,
uh,
David Bowie fucked your dad.
He's like,
no, no, no.
They just saw each other
on vacation.
No, he was beating off to the fact that David Bowie fucked his dad. He's like, no, no, no. They just saw each other on vacation. No, he was beating off to the fact that David Bowie fucked his dad.
Yeah.
All those people who post their hot moms.
Yeah.
Vintage moms page.
Yeah.
Vintage moms.
Antique moms.
That's a big TikTok trend.
Look at how hot my mom or dad was.
Or like is.
Is.
Yes, or is.
People are always trying to have someone beat off their mom.
Long girls from Charleston, South Carolina, they love their dads.
They want to fuck their dads.
Diplo Street was, doing girls is cool, but doing work lasts way longer and more fulfilling.
It took me 35 years to figure out.
A lot of research.
Yeah. 35 years. Eight years later figure out. A lot of research. Yeah.
35 years.
Eight years later, he's getting sucked off by dudes.
Fucked three women a day for 35 years.
It was cool.
It was cool.
I tried work.
Just saying doing girls is cool.
Do you ever think about how the Wilt Chamberlain number doesn't make sense?
Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.
What's the number again?
20,000.
20,000.
So you'd have to bang multiple people a day for years.
And always different people.
Yeah.
No repeat.
No, it's like never going to the same restaurant.
He came out to like five a day for years.
Three maybe?
Three maybe, yeah.
Three every day.
He must have gotten to the point where he hated it.
It just didn't happen.
He just like over-exaggerated. I don't think you get to the point where he hated it. It just didn't happen. He just over-exaggerated.
I don't think you get to the point you hate it.
Five a day.
I think you become an addict at a certain point.
I wonder what the record is, though.
You've got to remember professional athletes have testosterone.
If that's not a real number, what's the actual record?
It's when dudes were raping people.
That's probably not fun to look back at.
What's the modern record?
The dead ball? What's the modern record? The dead ball?
What's the modern record?
Modern day record for sex.
After all the raping.
Go hand checks.
Sex workers that go crazy.
There's probably sex workers that are also addicts, so they have to...
Oh my God, the record's a woman.
That is a thing.
There's a lady who went for the record
and...
Were they addicted to the sex
or were they addicted
to the work?
She died?
Yeah.
No, she's fine.
But there was like
a whole setup
and a lot of dudes
were like,
yeah, yeah,
I want to help her
get that record
and it was like a long...
Unsettling.
I wonder how Judy Jizz
is doing these days.
Jenny Jizz.
Jenny Jizz.
We speak with her
from time to time.
Judy Jizz is her mom.
Is she on the YouTube yak or is she on the Sirius, Yak?
She's been on both because we revisited the story even recently.
I don't know what that means, Jay.
Yeah, what does that mean?
He went like this.
I don't know what that means.
That disrupts the show more than anything.
Right.
And I'll say what it was.
The old ones.
Yeah, no, Stephen Jay's hand signals.
He thinks he's a Marine.
You're not a Marine, bro.
I'm not.
You're not a fucking Marine.
Marine biologist, bro.
Navy SEAL shit to me all the time.
I have like two hand signals to you.
And you know them.
I don't.
What are they?
I didn't know what this.
That's one.
This.
And then he goes like this.
He's asking for the check, please.
Don't do that.
Yeah, you do.
Team J, are you going to do steak and blowjob day?
Our refrigerator broke last week, so it might be tough.
What does that have to do with it?
His cock's in there.
That's where I store my cock every night.
Completely thawed.
All right, so
ML Cake. Ron, take this ball.
ML Cake. We have a pre-round.
Round zero. Okay.
We'll start with Sassass. If you get this
wrong, you have to have a cupcake.
Are you ready?
Okay. This has to do
with 500 episodes.
So you have to say if this program
has more or less than 500 episodes.
You ready?
Yeah.
You got this, bro. Come on, Sass.
Monday Night Football.
Less.
More. 718. That's a cut.
Wow.
I've been around for almost 50 years, man.
God damn, Sass.
You dumb fucking cunt.
Shit. So 29 years before he was born roan the challenge wait what happens to sass now yes eat a cupcake oh okay i'm gonna get a cupcake
sass come get you a fucking cup i'll meet a cupcake less more 526 have a cupcake wait what
was that challenge Challenge. Challenge.
Oh, the show.
Kyle.
Throw me a red one, Brandon.
I'll catch it.
Kyle Bauer.
Amazing Race.
Moore.
Less.
396.
Cupcakes for everyone.
All right.
Big Cat.
I broke them.
Dancing with the Stars.
Less.
Less.
481.
Yes! Oh, close
Wait, but I don't get to eat a cupcake
You're not going to want cake at the end of this
Okay, alright
You get a cupcake?
Yeah, I'll get it
Brandon
I really want a cupcake
Hi
Law and order SVU
Oh, come on, this is easy
Less
More, 531
That was so easy
I have a cupcake
SVU added to it.
I thought it was the old law.
Over 40 more.
Oh, no.
I have to have a cupcake.
You'll, you, okay.
Your tummy's going to hurt.
Eight.
Family guy.
More.
Less, 404.
What?
I was the only one who got it right?
You were the only one that got it right.
So, Big Cat. What? I'm going to give you one. So, Big Cat, I'm going to give you one more.
Wait, what?
I'm going to give you one more.
I don't want to eat a cupcake, though.
You told me I shouldn't eat a cupcake.
Science hasn't come to get a cupcake yet.
Okay.
Give it to Stephen Che.
Stephen Che.
Grey's Anatomy.
Ooh.
Under.
Under, correct.
409.
Nick, do you need me to order more cupcakes? Are we going to run out of them? No, no, no, because now cupcakes were only pre-round. Oh, correct. 409. Nick, do you need me to order more cupcakes?
Are we going to run out of them?
No, no, no, because now...
Cupcakes were only pre-round.
Oh, okay.
And now we move on to regular cake.
Okay.
That was just a warm-up?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I kind of want a cupcake.
These are big, heavy cupcakes.
Oh?
You want a cupcake?
What are you doing?
Kyle, you need to eat your cupcake?
You want me to take a bite out of it?
No.
I might eat 14 of these sons of bitches.
They're not as good as the...
I shouldn't be negative.
Don't be negative.
Well, I got the cheapest ones.
Yeah.
If you were going to be negative.
Yeah, they're not as good.
Sorry about the free cake, dude.
And I love cake.
Wait, are you on
your non-negative shit?
What's going on?
I'm trying to be kind.
Why? Ah, don to be kind. Why?
Ah, don't do that.
Jerry Springer said to.
I'm staking BJ now.
When did you talk to Jerry Springer?
Yesterday.
On Pat Bev Show?
Yeah.
Interesting, huh?
Yeah, I mean, he's an interesting dude.
Yeah, it was.
Do you have insight on the NBA?
No, we didn't talk about basketball even a little bit.
Whose call was it?
Let's get Jerry Springer on, which is, I think,
a fantastic guest. What do you think?
Pat loves Jerry Springer.
I mean, Jerry Springer
is part of Yak history.
Is he? He did my birth announcement
or my pregnancy announcement. Really?
He made a video for me and Pat.
That's awesome. No, he
during COVID, Ronan and I
would just watch Jerry Springer in the afternoon.
It was awesome.
I've been watching him my whole damn life.
Yeah.
Actually, I think today is three years to the day that, like, the world shut down, isn't it?
Our last day in the office was the 16th.
I was getting a staky blowjob that day.
Yeah, that's right.
Like, wait, hold on, honey.
Speaking of yak history.
Are you vaccinated?
I can't take this blowjob.
Connor made this account.
Everybody should go follow it.
Oh.
Yakagami.
Wow.
He's been going through all of the available Yak episodes, all the YouTube episodes, and
doing stats on them, and stats we recorded and posted on this.
No way.
Shout out to Connor Griffin.
He's awesome.
Yak history.
Please follow.
Do we have any interesting things up?
Or is it?
Not yet.
It's literally,
it just got made this morning.
How do you spell it?
I'm an idiot.
Yak historian.
One follower.
Just going to slide my DMs
and call me up.
Who's the one follower?
Where is the yak?
I can't find it.
Yakigami sounds like
an awesome Japanese word.
I'll send a link in the chat.
It's that new.
That's going to be,
you have to exact search it. Yakigami sounds like an awesome Japanese. I'll send a link in the chat. It's that new. You have to exact search it.
Yakigami sounds like the hibachi restaurant we should open.
Immediately.
Or like the sake brand that we should.
Dudes get one cupcake in them and they talk about opening a hibachi.
We should open up a.
I'm thrown off the sugar.
I have a hibachi person to come in.
We just need to pick a date.
Yes.
We're just knocking down all of our stuff. How do you know him?
Referral.
Frankie Borelli.
Oh.
Very good.
It's his dad.
Yeah, it's a wop.
It doesn't actually do.
All right.
TJ, can we pull up the wheel?
There's the wheel.
Pretty good one.
Can you add one more sliver, though?
That's just...
That says cupcake.
We've got to get rid of these things.
Hopefully Rone gets it.
These trash- ass cupcakes.
I thought the cupcake was good.
What the fuck is the brown?
It's a little bigger than the last ones.
What is the brown?
Alright, who would like to go first?
I will go first.
Alright.
Alright. Brandon, spin the wheel.
You hungry?
I hope you're hungry, big boy.
Are you hungry, big boy?
Spinning the wheel.
All right.
I got...
MRL.
MRL is a team game.
Actually, MRL is an individual, but everybody gets to go in this room.
Love it.
Okay.
Zass, we'll start with you.
Is this the same thing that we just did? It's a game of threes. You have to get two out of the three things I ask Love it. Okay. Sass, we'll start with you. Is this the same thing that we just did?
It's a game of threes.
You have to get two out of the three things I ask you correct.
Okay.
Okay?
Are you ready?
This is fun.
I love when Nick gets on his game shit.
Oh, Nick's a wizard.
Sass, you have to say if this is a quote from M. Night Shyamalan or L. Ron Hubbard.
You say M or L.
You have to get two of three
or else you have a slice of cake.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Come on, Sass.
My biggest fear in life is to be average.
That could be either.
Yeah.
That really could be either.
You're fucking crazy, bro.
I said M.
It's M.
Yeah.
And he's one of the next two.
So that's M. Night? That's M. Night. Narcissistic thing to say. Yeah, M. Yeah. And he's one of the next two. That's M. Night?
That's M. Night.
Narcissistic thing to say.
Wait, what was the quote?
It was, my biggest fear in life is to be average.
But does that...
I think that's exactly what...
He's wildly above or below average.
Did you mean below average?
Yeah.
Being average is like my goal in life.
No.
It's actually really bad to be above average in anything
because then people expect you to be good.
Now we'll have a rule change.
If you get three for three, you can give a cupcake to somebody.
Okay.
It's actually funny.
Now I'm thinking about it more.
M. Night Shyamalan is like a classic case of why you shouldn't be above average
because his first few movies ruled and then they sucked.
Right.
If he had just been average to start, no one would have been like,
he's wrong.
That average is out to average.
That's true, average.
It's a mean thing to say.
He's like a big fan of horror, so maybe he's doing this on purpose.
Oh, shit.
M. Night.
That's his biggest twist.
Sass.
M. Night or L. Ron.
Anything you shun will have won.
L.
It's L.
Yes!
Sass has passed.
Nice.
Now this is for three for three.
M. Knight or L. Ron.
If I'm hesitant about an idea, then it's not the right idea.
M.
It's M.
Too easy.
Give a cupcake.
Whoa!
Give a cupcake.
Whoa!
I'm going to go Brandon.
Yeah, give it to Brandon.
Brandon.
You haven't had your first cupcake, Sass.
That's it? You'll have to your first cupcake, Sass Oh my god
Rone
I'm going to give you a quote
You have to say if it's M. Rada or L. Woods
L. Woods is the lawyer
Legally Blonde
I think I know all of her quotes
And M. Rada is Emily Radjikowsky There's a finite amount of L. Woods quotes The lawyer? Legally Blonde. I think I know all of her quotes.
And Emrata's Emily Radjikowski. There's a finite amount of Elle Woods quotes.
Female body is a beautiful thing.
It should be embraced and celebrated.
Emrata.
Emrata, that's one.
Nice.
I genuinely hit puberty before everybody.
Elle.
Em.
Oh!
You have to get this or else it's a piece of cake.
Wait, Emily Radzikowski?
She hit puberty before everybody.
Like literally everyone in the whole world.
Ever.
I genuinely hit puberty before everyone.
Yeah.
Damn it.
I don't know what it is, but French men love me.
L.
M.
Oh! It's broad. Oh, no. I triple M'd you. L M Oh
Oh
Oh no
I triple M'd you
Oh
How did you not see that coming?
Did you do anything to this one?
M-m-m-m
They've all been dosed
I guess the
I bet you the red velvets aren't good
Roan, I guess you can bring out
The cake you want to cut a slice from
And cut yourself a slice of cake
Are they goofy cakes or standard?
I went to Whole Foods and bought just two cakes so i guess standard cake and while ron's doing that
kyle it's your turn let's go m or l yeah you have to say if this is a season record held by luca
or any other mav luca or matt okay okay
triple doubles Luca or Matt. Okay. Triple doubles.
That is Luca.
It's Luca.
That's one.
Oh, wow.
How many?
17.
Wow.
Points per game.
Another Mav.
It's Luca.
You were thinking Dirk. You were thinking Dirk. Luka. Oh, no.
You were thinking Dirk.
Right.
The final question.
He plays... Shooting Percentage.
Shooting Percentage.
Two Ls.
Two Ls.
Another Mav.
It's Tyson Chandler.
Yeah!
No cake, no cake.
That was...
Hey.
Hell yeah.
Big Cat, you have to tell me if this is something about the Stooge Moe or the Stooge Larry.
Oh, God.
Can you describe the two?
I don't know either of them.
Which one's fat?
Moe.
I will tell you neither of these are the ones with curly hair.
What was the other one?
Shemp?
You're right. Shep, yeah, yeah. these are the ones with curly hair. What was the other one? Shemp? You're right.
Shep.
Yeah, yeah.
Shep.
Died at 77.
Brandon's on his Alan shit right now.
Yeah, he is.
He's biting.
Yeah, he is.
He's doing the...
He's looking at me.
He goes like...
When Brandon knows an answer to trivia and you don't know it, he just stares at you and
just does...
That's not what I'd look like.
Let me see the piece you just got.
Moe.
It's Moe.
Yes.
One.
These are total guesses.
Last name Howard.
Brandon.
I just wanted to do the face.
What are my two options?
It's Moe or Larry.
M or L.
Larry.
Wrong.
It's Moe.
Oh, God, Brandon.
I know.
You have to get this or else that is a slice of cake for you.
This cake is incredible, though.
This is very good cake.
Okay, good to know.
Good to know.
Born in Brooklyn. Moe or Larry?
That's Moe.
It's Moe.
Yeah!
I still feel like I'm being punished, though, because I haven't been able to eat.
No, no, you'll end up getting a piece of cake.
Brandon, your turn.
Yep.
M or L, you're going to have to say if this celebrity woman had a maid feed her baby or the baby was latched to her tit.
Maid or latched.
This one you can actually use context clues.
Adele.
Come on.
Come on.
Easy.
So easy.
Latched.
Maid.
Oh, Andy.
How did you not know that?
Wait, if you go.
You thought because she was fat?
Yeah, you thought fat babies
Ofer's two pieces of cake
Jessica Alba
Come on
There's a big clue here
This one is very
made
and it's getting cake
What did you not know?
To prevent from being Ofer and having two slices of cake.
Jessica Alba's mom died during childbirth.
What's that got to do with her having a baby?
Well, she couldn't latch.
That doesn't kill you, Big Cat.
Oh, she was dead.
No, no, no.
Jessica Alba's child sucked on her.
Oh, shit.
She had a maid give her formula.
You're an idiot, Brandon. Brandon, final. Jessica Alba's child sucked on her. Oh, shit. She had a maid give her formula. You're an idiot, Brandon.
Brandon, final.
Gwen Stefani.
Brandon, this is literally a gimme.
Yeah, this one actually is too easy.
I'm surprised you put it in, Nick.
Latched.
Yes.
Latched.
Her titty was out for 18 months straight.
All right, have a slice of cake.
I will.
Can you watch your shoes on the cupcakes, please?
Yeah, it's stressing me out.
I want to eat those cupcakes.
You're just fucking shooing them up.
The chocolate with vanilla was great.
Kate, guess what?
What?
It's made or latched part two.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
If I get this wrong.
Alanis Morissette.
Latched.
Very much latched.
Yeah, she's an Earth Mama.
Very much latched. She, she's an Earth Mama.
Beyonce.
Beyonce.
Ooh.
Work schedule's tough.
I'm going to say latched.
No way.
I know.
I know.
I knew it as soon as I said it.
Finally, for the win,
pink.
Ooh.
Pink's latched.
Pink is latched.
Yes, pink is latched.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Just pull a charley horse or your hammy?
Yeah, hammy.
He just pulled his hammy, bending down for.
That was the end of the first round.
God damn, that's.
That was just the first round.
Yeah.
You got to finish this wheel.
Okay.
We don't have to spin this, by the way.
I'll go next.
Oh, we have to spin the wheel, yeah.
Spin.
Go ahead and spin, Ron.
Cupcake.
Cupcake.
What does that mean?
Just give a cupcake to somebody.
Brandon, take a cupcake.
I didn't take a cupcake, boy.
Oh, man.
This boy's going to be eating all the cupcakes.
Cupcake stays on there.
I spin again or somebody else goes?
Somebody else is up.
You spin again.
Someone else has to be up.
All right, Sask goes.
Again?
All right, spin it.
Oh, no. He didn't go yet.
Fire emoji.
Sass.
We're going to split this room up.
And all I'm going to tell you guys, will Sass complete this task in over or under three minutes?
Oh.
Every minute he goes over is a cupcake.
Okay.
Or a slice of cake.
Me?
Wait, is there pizza here today?
Looks like it.
Yeah, it's upstairs.
You gonna give me it?
So do you guys believe in sass or not?
What is the challenge?
You don't know yet.
Screen time, then over, yeah.
Che.
Pepperoni.
Wait, say it again.
Sorry, I got distracted by pizza.
Sorry, Nick.
No, it's fine. It's fine.
You guys, okay, so you guys have to...
Bring the whole pizza down, Jay.
Roan, will Sass complete this task in over or under three minutes?
Under.
Over.
Over.
Over.
Over.
So only one under.
Who has under?
Roan.
I do.
I believe in...
I'll go under as well.
Sass, you have three minutes to make me a working torch.
Oh, fuck!
Hold up, I got a lighter for you. I shouldn't have switched.
As soon as we start, you may begin.
What is a torch?
Wait, what qualifies as a torch?
You have to walk with it in your hand.
You have to walk with it in your hand. It's like you're lighting the Olympic
torch. I got a big lighter on my desk.
An oversized
goofy one. Run and grab it.
Does that count as a torch?
You have to light it?
That's what you'll light it with.
I have to light something on fire? You have to have a torch
that will last.
To bring back a lit torch?
30 seconds.
I like that.
You can use the lighter, but you have to
light it something else that lasts for 30 seconds.
If he goes over, you guys have a cake.
If he goes under...
Something that'll burn for 30 seconds could burn the...
Maybe.
Possibly.
All right, so lighter's on my desk.
Didn't think about that.
I'm just going to go with this.
That's one lot of torch.
Let's go burn out in one second.
30 seconds?
Yeah, dude.
If I roll it up, this isn't going to burn in 30 seconds.
All right, if you believe so, we can start the timer.
Wait.
You're not ready.
Go walk around and get the stuff.
No, but that's part of the three minutes.
Yeah, that's part of the three minutes.
Oh, that's part of the three minutes is building it?
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.
So am I starting?
If you're ready.
Okay, I'll start. All right, here he goes. Yeah, that's part of the three minutes. Oh, that's part of the three minutes is building it? Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. So am I starting? If you're ready. Okay, I'll start.
All right, here he goes.
Oh, yeah.
Who's that under?
You guys?
Yeah, we're fucked.
Run, Zass, run.
That's not a torch.
He's speed walking.
He's not too amped.
He's just taking his sweet time.
30 seconds.
He needs his toilet paper roll.
Can you get like a big bowl or something
that we could put water in
so fire safety?
Smart.
That way when someone yells at us, we're like, no, dude, we have the bowl of water.
Does anyone here know anything about fire safety?
No.
I do.
Did you not hear me just say the bowl of water?
No, that's good.
I'm saying like do we have someone that works here that like works in fire or anything like that?
It's going to be a small sheet of paper.
It's not going to be dangerous at all.
Who?
Who?
Huh?
Where'd Che go?
God damn it, bro.
Went to get a bowl of water.
He is not.
Come on.
Why did I say that?
Chell.
I tried to make this fun.
Trying to fuck me over.
Yeah.
Believing in him.
But it has to stay lit for 30
seconds, right? Yeah. Do you think that's
safe? Get a book, dude.
If you light a book, it's not gonna
light all the way through. Burn a book.
Burn a book. Find a book or some shit.
Don't light it yet. We need the fire safety.
Bucket.
Okay, time can be paused. Stop us, time.
He has his lighter.
And his torch.
His torch.
Will more fuel help that or will...
I don't know.
If you add more paper to that, will it burn faster?
If you're adding, we have to start...
He's not.
He's not.
Oh, God damn it.
How's that pizza?
It's going to last for way more than 30 seconds
No it looks pretty good
I might go for a piece
Alright are we ready?
No
We need a bucket of water
It's fire safety
Are we zooming in on my Red Bulls?
I'm not drinking both of these
FYI
Yeah right bro
I'm drinking one and a half of them
Because the big ones
Oh that looks good
Hell yeah pizza
That'd be great
Thank you Kate
That'd be your. Thank you, Kate.
That'll be your slice, Brandon.
The big one.
Just see how many you could touch.
What about that small slice?
Give me that small slice in your right hand.
No, that's the one I want.
That's the one I want.
That's the one I want.
Is it not cut?
It's just giant pieces.
It's giant pieces.
Okay, here comes Che with a bucket of water.
No, this is cut.
Brandon's an idiot.
That wasn't cut.
You guys know how every slice feels.
I wonder how it tastes.
Thanks, Kate.
Our fire safety has arrived.
Put it in front of Sass.
All right, ready?
Take the lid off.
30 seconds.
Yes.
You got a timer for 30 seconds?
If you get nervous... It's 114, so if it makes it to 144, you're good. Wait. I'm seconds If you get nervous It's 114 So if it makes it to 144
You're good
Wait
I'm not gonna get nervous
Maybe we should do it
In the shower
And then if it gets
Harry will turn on the shower
Guys it's fine
I think
He's good
He's gonna be okay
Alright ready
Yep
Hopefully it lights to begin with
Alright here we go
Start it
Alright
One
Yeah Oh Yes brother Stoke it What if it goes out Stoke it Start it. This is the last one. All right, let go. Wait. One. Not to the flame. Yeah.
Yes, brother.
Stoke it.
What if it goes out?
Stoke it.
Stoke the flame.
Don't blow it out.
Don't blow it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude.
Oh, no.
It's still going.
It's still going.
It's still lit.
Wait, you told me to stop lighting it.
Can I light it again?
How about time resets?
Time resets.
It's got to be 30 seconds from...
Tell us when you're done.
Oh, he's lit.
He's lit. There you go. Are you done lighting it? Tell us when. It's like to be 30 seconds from tell us when you're done. He's lit.
He's lit.
Are you done lighting it?
Tell us when.
It's like a big city. Right now, 43.
Just trying to get to 13.
Move it around a little bit so it gets more oxygen.
Yeah, brother.
That's pungent.
Yes.
Let's go, my boy.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
It smells in here.
Yep.
Woe betide the nonbelievers, Sash.
Ten seconds.
Ten seconds.
Yes.
There it is.
Time.
Did it.
Keep it up a little bit.
All the overs have a slice of cake.
Yes. Are you undefeated so far All the overs have a slice of cake. Yes.
Are you undefeated so far?
I'm undefeated.
Okay.
I'm like killing it right now.
No, no.
Oh, sass.
Oh, yeah.
The overs lost.
Nope.
Big guys never lost.
I've literally never undefeated.
I literally never lose.
How does it smell?
It smells terrible.
Oh, yeah.
The whole office is going to be mad at us.
Oh, yeah.
They always are. Here, we'll get Jerry Fragrance in here. He'll spray something. That'll be worse. Yeah, yeah. The whole office is going to be mad at us. Oh, yeah. They always are.
Here, we'll get Jerry Fragrance in here.
He'll spray something.
That'll be worse.
Yeah, that'll be nice.
All right.
Kyle, why don't you spin?
All right.
Spin it.
Kee hee. Kee hee. This is a one-on-one game. He he.
Brandon.
He he.
This is a one-on-one game.
I'll choose your opponent.
I'm proud of you, Sass.
Brandon.
All right.
Roan, choose your opponent.
Brandon's taken.
Brandon?
Brandon's taken.
Che.
In here. Okay, Kate. taken. Che. In here.
Okay, Kate.
Thanks for not making this difficult.
Sass and versus Big Cat.
I've never lost.
He's never lost.
Sass hasn't lost yet either, have you?
No, he has.
He ate the first cupcake.
Yes, you did.
He ate the first cupcake.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
Ah, shit.
Bastard.
Quite literally never lost.
That was round zero before the game started.
But this is for first place.
Like, if you beat him, you'll have the same amount of losses.
This is for first place.
So, I have two You Laugh, You Lose videos up.
Okay.
Whoever your opponent is, let's say Kyle's watching the first.
Brandon will keep score on Kyle.
It's a one-on-one game.
So, first You Laugh, You Lose video is Kyle.
Brandon tallies.
It's sass.
What's the tally?
Every time he laughs?
Every time he laughs.
So, you lose every time you laugh?
Yeah, and then the second video, you'll switch, and Brandon will watch Kyle.
Is it time, though, when you laugh?
Yeah, we'll do four minutes each.
Let's do three minutes.
It's when you first laugh, that's the time?
No, no, no.
So like, oh, you laugh five times.
Or we could do that.
Who can go the longest?
But I'm afraid, yeah, let's do that instead so you don't have to tally.
Right.
So you just start a timer, Brandon, on, or no, yeah, Kyle.
Actually, let's not do one-on-one then.
We'll start with Sass.
We'll all monitor Sass.
We'll start the video.
Sass has to watch.
I like this. It's on Sass. If you laugh, you're out. We'll see what Sass. We'll all monitor Sass. We'll start the video. Sass has to watch. I like this. It's on Sass.
If you laugh, you're out. We'll see what your time's at.
Which one?
Only the highest time goes without
cupcake. Or the low. Yeah.
Do the first one, please.
So I don't want to laugh. Don't want to laugh.
Here we go.
Alright, timer.
We can laugh. Yeah, we can laugh. Okay. Sass, timer. We can laugh.
Yeah, we can laugh.
Okay.
Ask whenever you're ready.
Hey, yo.
All right.
Whoa.
What?
Wait, what?
You're the...
It's me.
It's me, Richard Simmons.
And I'm here because...
Oh, this sounds like...
Yes, girl!
You're the hot dog.
You're the hot dog.
Oh, my God.
You're the hot dog. You're the hot dog. Oh, my God. You're the hot dog.
The hot dog.
Has Sass laughed?
I don't know.
Have you laughed?
And I just got to say, two days.
Talk to the mic.
Talk to the mic.
Talk to the hand.
Two days is a special.
Wherever you want.
A hot dog.
What was your name again?
I forgot.
Bernard.
Bernard the hot dog. Yeah, the puppet man. Oh, wait. Hot dog. What was your name again? I forgot. Bernard. Bernard the hot dog.
Yeah, the puppet man. Oh, wait.
One second. I'm going to sing you guys
a song.
That's going to be nice.
Hell yes. Hi, everybody.
Bernard.
Oh, thank you.
They're Daisy Dudes.
They're not.
I just got to say, today's
a special day.
It's the 500 year, no, 500 episode.
Nailed it.
Nailed it.
And we're going to celebrate.
That's right.
This special time with you is a circle of life.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
That was happening.
Happy 500 year episode. No, wow. Ooh. That was happening. Happy 500 year episode.
No, episode.
You almost got it.
We are celebrating
this special time with you.
And I need to have a little volunteers.
Come on.
A little?
A little volunteers.
There you go, KB.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I'll come up.
Okay, a little volunteers. Come on, come on. I know if I got it. you go, KB. Oh, okay. All right. I'll come up. Okay, a little vote.
I'm going to convince him, man.
Come on, come on.
You too, come on.
All right.
You too, come on.
I don't think I can.
I'm in the middle of doing something.
Oh, you want to come camera?
Sure, of course.
Where's the camera?
Where is it?
I want, like, in the camera.
Okay.
I want cameras.
Okay.
Okay, wait. Are we here. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
All of us stand together.
Okay.
Can they see us all?
Yeah.
Kind of.
We're going to go and we're going to kick our foot like this.
Oh, like the Rockettes.
Yeah.
Y'all might tear something up.
Oh, yeah.
So this way.
Yeah, left.
And then this way.
Right.
And then look at our legs.
Left.
Oh. 500 episodes a year. A year. A year. Episode. That's easy to be close to laughing.
They discovered America.
We are celebrating it in New York, New York.
Sasha's laughing hysterically.
I can't really enjoy this.
That's 15 for me.
Congratulations.
Thank you. Okay, now, guys, give me 500 10-4. Yay! Congratulations. Thank you.
Okay, now, guys, give me 500 push-ups.
Oh, no, no.
Come on!
He'll give you $500 when he gets back.
Will he?
Okay.
Yeah.
So I'm a singing telegram sent for you guys for your 500th year episode.
I appreciate it.
Thank you. It was sent by that episode. I appreciate it. Thank you.
It was sent by that guy that owns the place.
Dave?
Yes.
Wow, that's nice.
Oh my goodness.
That's so Dave.
Do you want a cupcake or a piece of cake?
Let me do some sweets.
I only had oranges today.
Oh my god
you can have that one
that's carrot
mandarin oranges
oh my god
can I sit in the seat
before he comes back
sure
of course
there's a little frosting
welcome
it's okay
Bernard what's new
you gotta pull the mic
over to yourself
but
oh my god
what's new
I'm still working
on my puppet show yeah i've been um
and you know since i was on here i got a lot of followers so thank you so much oh great yeah where
can they follow you that's exciting yeah oh wait here he comes oh and here he is back all right
he's probably pissed oh he's pissed off good i'm, I've been doing my puppet show. I'm really trying to expand on it.
And, yeah, I just,
and I'm making my first puppet.
Very nice.
Wait, can I show you?
Sure.
You haven't made a puppet yet?
I never made a puppet.
I always bought them online.
Oh, okay.
They're all original.
Okay, so let me see the new one.
Can I show it to you?
Yeah, yeah.
If you pull out your penis,
I'll be very upset.
That would be funny as fuck. If you pulled out your penis, you'll be very upset. That would be funny as fuck.
If you pulled out your penis, you're like, this is my new puppet.
I've been working my whole life on it.
This is him.
Her name is Paulette.
Wait.
Paulette?
Her name is Paulette.
And, yeah, so I'm going to make like five puppets.
Okay.
This is the first.
Why stop at five?
Sounds like you're not 10X.
How about 50?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, all right, there you go.
Now you're 10X.
Yeah, because, yeah, I'm 50, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that was easy.
And so this is Paulette.
Wait, here's the camera.
Oh, yeah.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Paulette.
Yes, that's right.
Wait, is that you talking or the puppet?
That's her talking.
Oh, my God.
Why is your mouth moving?
I'm the puppet.
Oh, okay.
Paulette's the puppet.
Yeah, this is the puppet.
Yeah, the puppet.
Oh, yeah.
I know I confused you.
Yeah.
No, I'm sorry.
You got this?
No, I got it.
Paulette's the puppet.
Paulette, you know what today is?
What's today?
What is it?
You know.
Steak and blowjob day.
Hey, over here. Down here.
What am I doing here, guys?
I want to get some head.
Why don't you suck me off, poet?
I don't know.
Porterhouse, well done, but I want something.
What did you say?
That was me, actually.
Oh, that was?
Oh, okay.
It was Kyle the whole time. He's good. that was me actually oh that was oh okay yeah my bad
it was Kyle the whole time
oh wow
he's good
that was me
so good
motherfucking me
that was so fucking good bro
that was really
that was good
yeah
oh my goodness
you made that
yeah I made it
wow that's pretty good
isn't it amazing
that is pretty good
I'm like so surprised
like because I was like
okay if I'm gonna make a puppet
it has to look really professional
and so I just studied all the different puppet makers.
And there's this guy named Adam Kuchinger.
His last name I can't pronounce.
But he's really good at making puppets.
So I've just been following his tutorials and other people's tutorials.
And then I made this puppet.
Love it.
They work.
Yeah.
So I'm going to make five all together.
But I'll make more.
Okay. Yeah. 50, 50, 10X. 50, 50, yeah. Love this. I'm going to make five all together, but I'll make more. Okay, yeah.
50, 50, 50, 10x.
50, 50, 50.
50.
We'll commission a Yak puppet show.
Yeah, yeah.
Back on at some point.
Yes, yes.
Bernard, thank you so much.
Thank you, Bernard.
Thank you.
Thank you for coming by.
Yeah.
Bernard.
Yes.
We appreciate it.
Follow him on the Pupton Show.
Yes.
At the Pupton Show on Instagram.
Great to see Bernard.
He's a delight. It feels like 50 is- Thanks, Bernard. The Yes. At The Pupton Show on Instagram. Great to see Bernard. He's a delight.
He feels like 50 is-
Thanks, Bernard.
The best.
Kate is the best.
She is.
Get out of here.
Thank you.
It feels like 500th episode is officially official now.
Woo-hoo.
Bernard.
All right, thanks, Bernard.
I like Bernard just stopping by every now and then.
I know.
Me too.
Popping in and being like, whoa, Bernard's back.
Give him a key card.
Hot dog.
Mincy already did.
I wasn't here for the first time, Bernard.
Oh, you didn't?
I don't know him.
You guys don't know him?
I've been at the Pleasure.
He was a dancing hot dog the first time.
Yeah, yeah.
I missed that.
I wasn't here for that either.
Ghost of Christmas Past.
Sass felt so awkward that he opened up his Maps app.
Looked over and he was just looking at Maps.
Sass, you thought he was going to strip on you, didn't you?
I didn't know if it was a part of Nick's thing,
so I wasn't trying to pay attention because I didn't want to laugh.
So the underwear I'm wearing is super uncomfortable,
so I was looking to see how far Old Navy was from here.
You're on the maps.
The forecast in Cupertino.
It's actually destroying my mood completely.
What are you wearing, a thong, bro?
Burlap?
I may as well be wearing a thong thong, bro? Burlap?
I may as well be wearing a thong.
Burlap thong backwards.
I had one pair of underwear.
Can you show us what the underwear is? What's the edge of it?
That's the worst part.
The edge is the worst.
Squeezing your love handles?
Everything folding over it.
That's because your big juicy cock's in there.
It's a nightmare. It's the nightmare juiciest
your cock is ever made.
Cock's gotta get out. Well, maybe
makes good underwear, too. Do they?
Oh, yeah. Well, it's
owned by Gap, and you like Gap's underwear,
but you literally can't afford it.
Alright, so did I win?
I think I won that. No, no, you're still going.
You haven't even done the thing yet.
I laughed the entire time that Bernard was here. All right, so did I win? I think I won that. No, no, you're still going. You haven't even done the thing yet. Yeah.
I laughed the entire time that Bernard was here.
That wasn't a part of MLK.
That was fucking hilarious.
That was good work.
That was impossible.
All right, so go back to the video.
Do we have another ad?
Yeah, we're going to do it right now.
We're going to do the ad.
You're the ad guy.
Talk about high noon, Hard seltzer.
Made with real malt.
Real juice.
Not malt.
Not malt.
Made with real vodka.
Literally the bastard.
Malt is the one that you don't want.
Y'all going to let me make a mistake every now and then?
No.
Y'all going to let me be human?
That's probably the biggest mistake anyone could ever be.
High noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water.
It's actually made with vodka, not with malt like those other shitty seltzers.
High Noon hard seltzer is the perfect refreshing drink for a hot day.
They now have big cans of peach and pineapple available.
My favorite flavor is the peach followed by the watermelon followed by the lime.
That is my top three.
Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar.
Their full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, and lemon.
Oh, yes, now we have a cooler full of High Noon over there.
It's the blue ones. You want to focus on the blue ones.
They've got limited edition flavors pear and cranberry in the tailgate pack and kiwi and guava in the pool pack.
Look for High Noon on Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you that's
high noon i put it back together after i flubbed it initially barely thank you brandon it was a
good ad read thank you sass barely that's when you destroyed it in the beginning yeah right off
everyone turned it off because they're like wait it's got don't don't listen i'm not gonna listen
to him good i'm not gonna listen to you're really, it's got moths. Don't listen to them. I'm not going to listen to them. You did good.
I'm not going to listen to them.
You did really good.
Hey, Sass, you're up.
I'm listening to you.
Your hair looks like cupcake frosting, too.
It's just nestled at the top of your head.
There's probably something in there.
I think there is.
Beautiful.
All right.
All right, Sass, try not to fucking laugh at this.
What the fuck is this fish going to do?
All right. What the fuck is this fish gonna do? Oh, no, Sass.
You good, man?
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
Wait.
Oh.
Is there anyone getting shot in this video?
Then say it.
It'll happen.
No, it's the same one.
I'm outside taking my dog for a walk.
I gave him a little Red Bull
And man now he's acting weird look at this
Get down from there
Come on Sass
Hey Diana right
And you're going to the airport
Alright you may want to cover your ears
That's so big
He makes it a minute 30 without laughing. He wins.
Dude.
You guys should have watched this.
Oh, he did.
126.
126.
That fucking puke was so good. I actually want to watch that again.
What are the odds of that happening?
Holy shit, that puke was awesome.
Ron, you ready oh fuck
120
let me get the sillies out
okay
they're out
let me think about my dead dog
okay let's go
126 is the time to beat
if you want to laugh
think about my dead dog Ron
that's how it works.
Yo, why do thrift stores have the most random as shit?
Like, what is this, bro? Who's going to buy this?
Dude, Isaac, you got gotta come look at this man
hey mano quiero una fuga conmigo
sueltale
no vale a dormir papa a dormir
hey
hahaha he killed him Hey
This mumble number five Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No. 5. Hey, guys, Jeff just learned how to ice skate.
Watch him.
He's really good.
Are you ready?
Yep, ready.
Go.
Go, Jeff.
Go, Jeff.
Oh. Oh!
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
I don't like this at all.
Chase just laughed, and he made it a minute 30. A minute 30.
Damn.
Good job.
He got an easier lineup than I did.
Yeah.
No puke.
If I puke, I'm laughing right away.
Are you ready?
Ready.
Okay.
Okay.
No, he won't.
Oh, no.
Buttfinger.
Wait.
Really?
Finger?
He's very human.
Wearing on the foot is also very beautiful.
And after wearing them, we can run as fast as a horse. And when there is danger, we can kick away the bad guys like a horse. Finger? The haters will sabotage me. Can I have some ketchup? Oh, here you go.
Ma, they're following me, Ma.
They're following me.
Who's following you?
The bugs.
The bugs?
I found a contact with Criminal Connections in the southeast of England.
And set up a covert meeting with a top cocaine dealer.
Have you been able to get the beverage machine to work yet?
Oh, dear.
Beverage machine.
Beverage machine.
Sorry, I'm leaving now.
30 seconds.
What is that on his face?
Gentlemen, I expect it to be one of those 35 minutes.
I can make sure that you of us for five minutes. Make sure that your head
is set safely.
Please switch off your laptop
and place it in your house.
That's a laugh.
That's a laugh.
No, I'm not.
124.
Fine.
124. That. 124.
That was the lowest?
That was a good compilation.
I thought the sounds one was going to get you right down your alley.
Those sounds are hilarious.
I've seen them so many times.
Okay.
Okay.
Alright.
Oh my sweet princess,
I don't know why you're not responding,
but daddy is starting to get angry.
Join the discord now. Yo, bro.
Hey, quick question, man.
You know where I can find the other binky dinky dinky?
What?
The binky dinky dinky.
Who?
The binky dinky dinky.
You're a silly goose, bro.
Oh. Oh It's career
Or hard
If you get hard
That also counts as hard
Yeah hard is a laugh
Oh I hate people like this
Is this a palizzy?
What the fuck was that? The road singers in a palizzy Is this a Palizi? So if we find the village, we find him. And if we find him, we find Kissel.
What the fuck was that?
Ron saying it's a Palizi.
It looks like a Palizi.
Seven, that's the lowest.
No, Kate will lose.
Brandon, finish your cupcake.
Am I not laughing?
I'm not doing laughing yet? What about this cupcake?
I'll get it.
All right.
You're stacking up cake?
I had a pizza.
I'll get it.
Between the cakes.
All right.
Go ahead, Brandon.
I don't know if you're going to laugh.
Someone has to deliver Sass some underwear so he can re-engage in this 500th episode.
We raised you over $80,000 and go fund me, bro.
Holy shit, I ain't going to be holding it no more. No, bro. No, no, no, no, no. We got you a $80,000 and go fund me, bro. Holy shit, I ain't gonna be holding it no more.
No, bro. No, no, no, no, no.
We got you a phone.
What the fuck?
Come on.
Hey, I'm on big time.
Everybody, go look at me.
What's up? I'm Steven.
This is my first drink of the night.
What's up? I'm Steven.
This is my second drink of the night.
Woo! I'm Steven. This is my second drink of the night Whoa, I'm Steven. This is my eighth drink of the night
Please don't start it. We had a good day today. Now you're gonna ruin it
It's up your alley every night. You't know, but every night I fall asleep
crying because of you.
You're constant bullying.
I'm sick of it.
Sick of it.
I want to start sleeping
in the living room on the couch and leave you
in here by yourself.
What is he going to do, Brandon?
Okay, because it's a Walmart.
And he's going in the room.
What?
What the fuck?
You must not get it.
Hang on.
This still counts as a laugh.
That's actually really good.
That was great.
All right, Brandon won. Brandon won.
Good job.
Kate?
Okay.
Brandon, you didn't think anything?
The dog was funny.
Crying, Brandon?
It had potential.
He had a long one.
Oh, wow.
He had long ones.
Tough critic.
Tough critic.
Brandon, you're a true stoic.
No, I watch a lot of dog videos talking human.
That one didn't rise to the level.
I watch a lot of them.
Would you rather give up pizza or rap music?
Pizza.
You love OutKast.
Cupcake.
I do.
It's a weird looking cupcake.
It really is.
Untouched fucking.
It's the strangest colors of a sweet that's ever been.
Gray.
Birdie Bot says.
It's like such poop.
That's bogey flavored.
Yeah, that's definitely bogey flavored. Bogey?'s like such poop. That's bogey flavored. Yeah, that's definitely bogey flavored.
Try it and see if it's bogey flavored.
Oh, it's carrot cake.
Oh, no.
Don't let Big Cat eat that.
That's your cupcake.
Oh, wow.
His fingers are really in there.
All right, Kate, you're the last one here.
That's so disrespectful.
And we have three more.
We'll get them out real quick unless we need to end.
No, no.
End.
500th episode, brother.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
What?
Das, how's the undies?
Terrible.
I'm not eating your cake.
I'm getting to it.
You have that stray piece
of confetti on your shoe.
You think I don't know that?
It came like that.
All right, Kate, you ready?
That's how kids are wearing their shoes now.
Up to your shoes.
I like them.
Whoa.
I love it.
Oh, no, no.
Mother, what the hell?
Oh, you got them tied on the side, man.
Oh, man, brother, he's like crazy.
Brother took some cloth, man.
Oh, let me see.
Oh, man, brother.
No, that's wallet material.
You got wallet?
Brother, this is a wallet shoe, man.
Let me see the wallet.
Pick it up real quick.
Whoa.
Brother, you got me losing my voice out here,. Come on. I got three. Hold on. Hold on
Brother hold on to me tie your shoe for you. Let me tie it! I can't see you in the light, Tom!
Thank you, man!
Oh, that is crazy!
What?
Is there something spilling down an escalator?
Okay, so the fact is, is that you can use it up the elevator or the stairs, actually,
or going up to the mall, as a sun, but definitely do, like, a waterfall, actually, as well,
but it also gives it 100% actually, but it's satisfying as well, actually, as well. But I'll give the one 100% actually, but it's satisfying as well.
Luckily, I used to try
this one, and it was a good one, actually, as well.
But I'm going up to the mall, and it's a good one.
So, I'll give the one 100%, and then
that would be a good one.
Yes.
Oh!
Alright.
Alright, Kate, you made it.
Man, how did you not laugh at the shoes?
That was actually perfect timing.
The video ended, and everybody got a minute 30.
I think Zass had the toughest grouping.
Yeah, for sure.
Who's laughing at those videos?
I have no idea.
Hi, people.
I mean, the puke was hilarious.
Puke broke me, and then so did sounds at the menu.
Puke is so funny.
Okay.
All right.
I just had a cupcake. I had two cupcakes. All right. That's perfectly fine. Let's spin the menu. Puke is so funny. Okay. I just had a cupcake. I had two cupcakes.
Alright, that's perfectly fine. Let's spin the wheel.
Whoopsies. I mean, I lost.
I was the least. You're allowed to have cupcakes.
I had two.
What's brown?
I want to light another torch.
I know, right?
Oh, there's actually one that's not on here,
but that's okay. We'll do that, right? Oh, there's actually one that's not on here, but that's okay.
We'll do that too. We can add it.
Alright, Brown.
This is everybody on the same team.
You have to go five for ten. I'm going to name
a Maresh fact, and you have to say if Maresh
loves this or hates it. Why is this Brown?
I couldn't think of anything to put.
I just... That was a random color.
Okay. You know Maresh, right, KB?
Yeah. So we're going to need you. Five for ten. Moresh, right, KB? Yeah.
So we're going to need you.
Five for ten.
We'll see.
He's really Nick's boy.
Yeah.
I heard he was KB's guy.
Absolutely not.
No.
He's more Stinky Tony's guy.
Man U.
Anyone gets to guess?
No, it's we're a team.
You have to get five for ten.
What was it?
Man U?
Do you love Man U?
Hates.
Hates. He loves Man U. He has a Man U tattoo. That is his ten. What was it? Man U? Do you love Man U? Hates. Hates.
He loves Man U.
He has a Man U tattoo.
That is his team.
What the fuck?
Kyle.
Damn.
Oh, for what?
All right, let's sit these out, Kyle.
The Pokemon Gengar.
Hates.
I think Hates.
I bet he does.
Like an Indian Pokemon.
Hates. He loves Gengar. Oh, no. We're over two. New bet he loves. Like an Indian poking. Hates.
He loves Gatsby. Oh, no.
We're over two.
New York Mets.
I'm saying.
My love.
He's either Yankees or Mets.
He's giant, so I'm thinking, I think he's a Yankees fan.
Hates.
He hates the Mets.
Yes.
One for two.
Very nice.
Big Cat, you take the reins now.
Okay.
Chess. I can see. Very nice. Big Cat, you take the reins now. Okay. Chess.
I can see him loving that.
Yeah?
He's an intellectual.
He likes soccer.
Yeah.
I can see him loving it for sure.
Loves.
It's Chess.
It's Chess.
We're one for three?
One for four.
Jamar Chase.
Who doesn't love Jamar Chase?
Yeah, yeah.
Love, love. He fucking loves Jamar. Yeah, yeah, Jamar Chase yeah yeah love love he fucking loves
Jamar
yeah yeah
two for five
marriage
hates
hates
he hates
marriage
alright three for six
divorce
loves
loves
loves
loves
loves divorce
he's very thankful
is he divorced?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, very divorced.
Yeah.
Are you going to go to his second wedding?
Those are way too long.
I don't have a sari to wear.
Nike court visions.
Hates.
Loves.
Why would you hate Nike court visions?
He loves them. I think he would like those. would you hate Nike Court Visions? He loves them.
I think he would like those.
Loves.
Oh, no, no, no.
He loves them.
All right, all right.
All right, go ahead.
Go ahead.
He fucking hates Nike Court Visions.
What?
A rip-off force.
We're for eight.
We got to get one of these next two.
No, it's not.
It's like three for...
No.
What?
Nailed marriage and divorce.
Yeah, you have to get three.
We have to get three of eight right now.
We need to get the last two.
You need to go two for two on these last two.
Those Pumas Nick wears that Roan liked.
He loves them.
I was going to say he loves them.
He hates them.
He says they're geriatric.
You guys have to have a slice of cake.
Sorry, boys.
What's the last one just for...
Soup.
Loves.
Yes, he loves soup.
Oh, KB.
You guys were one away.
You fucked us with the main view.
He's got a tattoo.
You really fucked him.
Maybe he just wanted us to eat cake.
He's trying to plump us up.
He's on his end.
Get the other cake out.
The other cake.
It's the same thing.
It's the same exact cake.
I didn't know how much we were having.
It's just a small version of the big one.
Pass me a cupcake.
All right.
Another cupcake.
TJ, let's go for the one that's not on the wheel.
Could you pull up that link I sent you?
Sass.
This is a random celebrity generator.
All right?
Okay.
You have to get three in a row of what their sex is.
Okay.
Or, you could guess the next profession.
Athlete.
Actor.
Oh, I like this game a lot.
It's gonna get hard?
No, it's just a random celebrity.
Oh, it's random.
He clicks the button and you have to say, like, I or girl.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Girl.
I'm guessing girl.
I'm going.
Well, it's me.
So you have three strikes.
Let me show you how.
You have three strikes to get three in a row,
or you can just get one by guessing the next profession.
Actor, athlete, politician, writer.
All right, I'm going to go musician.
Wow, you're just going for it.
Whoa.
I only get to do it once?
No, you can, but you have three strikes. I'm confused. I would say male. Yeah, you're just going for it. Whoa. I only get to do it once? No. You can, but...
You have three strikes.
I'm confused.
I would say male.
Yeah, you have to get three in a row of gender.
Three in a row of those.
All right, I'm going to go musician.
All right, let's randomize it.
Strike one.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
That's who was just in here.
Yeah, that's odd.
That's insane.
What are the odds?
That's nuts.
All right, strike one, Sass.
I'm going to go musician again?
I like this strategy.
Strike two.
Who's that guy?
Never heard of him.
He was on Prophet.
Oh, Jim Prophet.
Yeah.
I'm going to go musician again.
Why did he?
I like the strat.
Oh, he did it!
Yes!
Way to go.
No cupcake for Sass. Roan.
I don't understand, too. You have three
strikes. You can either get three
in a row of guessing sex,
or if you just guess their profession
once, correct. Okay, audit.
I'm going to go musician.
All right.
No.
Oh, Roan!
It's an author, Roan. Yikes!
Holstorn.
Nice chair.
All right, I'm going to go musician.
Don't steal my fucking technique.
Yeah.
God damn it.
His ass broke the game.
Okay. I'm going to talk shit on my technique.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That wasn't me.
He's like, why are you going to guess that again?
All right, Kyle.
Yeah, yeah.
Male.
Male.
One.
Kind of. Huh? You could have already been out. Male. Male. One. Kind of.
You could have already been out.
Male.
Yeah.
Two.
Male.
He's safe.
You're a genius, bro.
God damn, KB.
That was good.
That was nice.
You're good as fuck at this game, dude.
How did you do it?
That was good. Thank you. That was good thank you that was thank you all
right massive uh well act actor exact actor or actress no Wow Actor God damn it
Permis
Stick to your gut
Stick to your gut
Actor again
Actor again
Or you could start over
Going male female
But then you
If you get one of those wrong
Yeah no you gotta go
With the profession
Musician
I told you I told you Musician.
Oh!
I told you. I told you.
God damn it.
That's a cake.
I was on it.
God damn.
I'm such an idiot.
That's a lot of cake.
No, this will be my third cupcake.
Brandon.
I'm going to go musician.
If you guess the exact person, Big Cat will give you $400,000.
Okay.
Yes.
Deal.
Bob Barker.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, Bob Barker.
Strike one.
Oh.
Fuck.
I did say musician first, though.
Well, you went with Bob Barker here.
So you're 0 for 1? 0 for 1. I kind of want to try for the $400, though. Well, you went with Bob Barker here. So you're 0 for 1.
I kind of want to try for the $400,000.
Yeah, try.
There's no downside.
Every single celebrity in the world.
The downside is a cupcake.
Burmese politician.
I'm going to go Mark Twain.
Okay.
Strike two.
Oh, he's getting close.
You're right on it, dude. You're right on it, dude.
You're right on it.
I'm going to go with the Reverend Billy Graham.
Okay.
Strike three.
That's a cupcake.
How long do you think it would last until we got it?
It would be like 10,000 clicks.
Yeah, keep going, Brandon.
See how many random names.
Let's go faster.
You're going to have to do another cupcake if you get three.
Just go faster.
Are these all living?
No, they're Tolstoy.
Most have been living, though.
I want to see you get them.
Most have been living?
Harrison Ford.
Too short.
Stephen King.
Nope.
Not even close.
That's kind of close.
Chef Gordon Ramsay.
That's two cupcakes.
I don't think I'm going to.
We're out of cupcakes.
No, you have two right there.
I can't keep going, but somebody else can take this.
No cupcakes.
Just go for a minute and see if you can get it.
Let's see if any of us.
Let's all say a name.
Oh, yeah.
This would be incredible if we got it.
Whoever says it gets the $400,000.
Sure.
Yes.
What?
This would rock.
I don't know if the-
Adam Sandler.
Oprah.
Robert Einstein.
Who?
Joe Pesci.
Angelina Jolie.
Obama.
Alec Baldwin.
Jesse Jackson.
It's not going to happen.
Babe Ruth.
Why am I struggling to think of one?
Owen Wilson.
I can't think of anyone.
Vince Vaughn.
Oh, it's close.
Ah!
Owen Wilson.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Oh!
Donnie Carson.
Donnie Jeffcoat. Kimmel. Oh! Donnie Carson. Donnie Jeffcoat.
Mike Tyson.
Sherry O'Terry.
John Wayne.
Martin Luther King.
Hank Aaron.
Steve Carell.
Oh!
Oh!
Okay, so maybe we can repeat names.
Danny DeVito.
Danny DeVito.
Oh!
No athletes, Harley.
Reese Witherspoon.
Garth Brooks.
Kenny Chesney.
Too short.
George Clooney.
Larry David.
Seinfeld.
Rank the tank.
Muhammad Ali.
Dan Quayle.
Gary.
Danny McBride.
Will Smith.
Jason Siegel.
In Portnoy.
Whoa.
Werner Klemper.
Who's that swimmer at tall?
Michael Phelps?
Yes.
I really want to get it.
LeBron James.
Oh, I did Will Ferrell earlier.
Damn.
What?
You've been rich.
Damn.
I've seen him.
Wait, I just thought every guess we've thrown out still applies.
Angela Lansbury.
We have to say it exactly right before?
Yes.
I thought every joke was just out there waiting for it to be.
Oh.
No.
Joe Pesci.
Brian Cranston.
I'm starting to think this isn't possible.
Oh, man.
Amy Poehler.
Tina Fey.
Debbie Gibson's so close.
Lisa Lampanelli
Jenna Fisher
Andrew Dice Clay
Oh I like that
That was a good guess KB
Joan Rivers
Damn it
Oh fuck
Lou Andales
Oh I thought you had it Quality stars, too. Oh, fuck. Lou Andalus. Joe Rogan.
Oh!
Oh, I thought you had it!
That's so close.
I laugh every single time.
Jason Segel.
I am Bialik.
John Krasinski.
Al Green.
Tiger Woods.
Samuel L. Jackson.
Simon Orgar.
Oh, you!
Oh!
I'm more aware.
Damn, bro. You were so close. Oh, you. Oh. I had him earlier. Damn, bro.
You were so close.
Wait, what's a good one?
Let's think of a good one.
Let's think of a good one.
Bill Murray.
Ben Affleck.
I want to keep doing it.
I know.
I want to get it.
500 of the episode is torture for the fans.
I like Baldwin.
Will Smith. Oh, John. Wait, whoa the fans. I like Baldwin. Will Smith.
Oh, John.
Wait, whoa, whoa.
John Madden's still alive.
Evel Knievel.
Art Garfunkel.
Jennifer Aniston.
Oh, Ron, your boy.
Wait, wait, wait.
We're due for a politician.
Kelsey Grammer.
Bob Dylan.
Bob Dylan.
We weren't due for a politician.
If we are due now.
That's such a good one.
Mao Zedong.
Fuck. Ray Liotta.
These are mostly comedic actors.
Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise is a good one.
There's like anyone who was in a...
Zach Nicholson. John Krasinski.
Who was opposite of Charlie Sheen
in Two and a Half Men? John Cryer.
He's up. John C. Reilly.
That was close.
That was so close. Steve Carell. Okay, Carell. John Cryer. He's up. John C. Reilly. Oh, that was close. Oh, that was so close.
Steve Carell.
Okay, Carell.
I like that.
This is a preview into the 12-hour episode.
Yeah.
Dave Collier.
Good guess.
Frank Lloyd Wright.
Lisa, what's the bitch's name for Friends?
The lady's name for Friends?
Woodrow.
Woodrow.
Jeffer Aniston.
Politician.
Oh, boo.
Michael Caine.
Oh, we're getting into athletes now.
Andre Agassi.
Michael Keaton.
Adam Sandler.
I feel like I should have gotten all these.
Can't guess something similar to the one that just happened.
That's all our brain works.
Izzy Morgan.
Right, so you got it.
Ben Stiller.
Carl Malone.
Barbara Walters.
Heaven Garnett.
That's going to happen. It's going to be amazing.
Sondheim has come around twice now.
Quentin Tarantino.
Oh, that's a great one.
Josh Groban.
John Mayer.
Larry David.
Ari Povich.
Steve Carell again.
Ah, Bob Dole.
He's dead.
Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Barack Obama.
Ah, damn it.
I feel like we can narrow down where the person came from that made this and how old they are.
I feel like it's like a 39-year-old white dude from Southern California.
Jimmy Buffett.
Robin Williams.
And Rather.
Good one.
Walter Cronkite.
Paul Rudd.
I love Paul Rudd.
Go again.
Paul Rudd.
Stephen Sondheim.
Paul Rudd.
Dave Grohl.
Mel Gibson.
Oh, I like Dave Grohl.
Oh, they're doing Seinfeld.
Don Mulaney.
Every time.
Someone's going to get it. Sandra Bullock.
Hilary Swank. Chris Rock.
Will Smith.
All right.
Damn it.
Bob Dylan.
Again. Again, Louis
Guzman.
Chris Rock again. Phil Collins. Matthew McConaughey. Dariuszman. Chris Rock again.
Phil Collins.
Matthew McConaughey.
Darius Rucker.
Danny Glover.
Good one.
Danny Glover's a great one.
Matthew McConaughey.
Oh, I got one.
Mel Gibson.
Yes.
Who was the-
Oh!
Wow!
The fuck?
Alex Trebek.
Who was the guy that folded the pizza boxes real fast?
Dale Lamoureux? Dale Lamoureux?
Dale Lamoureux.
Oh, Conahay again.
Damn it.
Elvis Presley.
Blake Shelton.
Dr. Dre.
Adam Levine.
One of the Beastie Boys.
Oh, Lisa Goudreau.
Eminem.
You were so close.
How much does the chat hate this DJ?
Jim Carrey.
Meryl Streep.
It is all spamming celebrity.
All right, so they're in on it.
Yes.
John Prine.
Meryl Streep.
Let's go around the room because I don't want...
What happens if we all yell out a name?
I thought he was just a southern musician.
We get it right.
No.
Think of your name and we'll start with Sass.
We'll go around the room because I don't want...
If we yell five names and someone gets it, it'll cheapen.
All right.
I'm going John Prine again.
Vince Carter.
David Letterman.
Oh, David Letterman.
Jerry Bruckheimer.
Patrick Swayze.
Dr. Dre earlier.
Pedro Pascal.
Have your name ready
Dwayne The Rock Johnson
Jennifer Aniston
Avril Lavigne
Penelope Cruz
Martin Luther King Jr.
Woody Harrelson
Shirley Temple
George W. Bush
Michael Keaton
Courtney Cox
Kristen Stewart
Ray Liotta
Ed Danson
Joe Montana
Ben Stiller
John Mulaney
Stephen Sondheim
Jeff Bridges Vince McNan George Wendt John Mulaney. Stephen Sondheim.
Jeff Bridges.
Vince McMahon.
George Wendt.
George W. Bush.
Hulk Hogan.
Charles Bukowski.
Oh, no!
That's your guy, dude!
That's your fucking guy!
Scotty Pippen.
I'm Dylan.
Rob Schneider.
Adam Duritz.
Oh.
Don Rickles.
Angus Young.
Hugh Hefner.
Sharon Tate.
Lupe Fiasco.
Howard Stern. I had one and I forgot it. Fuckpe Fiasco. Howard Stern.
I had one and I forgot it.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. No, I'm having a hard time coming up with names now.
Oh, Johnny Carson.
Damn.
Frank Sinatra.
I said him earlier too.
Kurt Vonnegut.
Steven Tyler.
Damn it.
Al Capone.
Danny DeVita.
Mariah Carey.
FDR.
Oh, so close.
Whitney Houston.
Chase Crawford.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Oh, fuck.
I had Vince Vaughn earlier.
Patrice Bergeron.
Oh, I got a great one.
Franz Ferdinand.
Celine Dion.
Jon Bon Jovi.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
Oh, I thought that was the one.
Ronald Reagan.
Eva Mendez.
We're going to be here forever.
Michael Jordan.
It's going to be awesome when we get it. It's going to be awesome when we get it.
It's going to be so awesome.
Tom Petty.
Shit.
Ray Kroc again.
Lisa Kudrow.
Dwayne Johnson.
Ashley Simpson.
Phylicia Rashad.
Dude, this is so fun.
I'm having so much fun playing this
It's so fun
The fun's over because it's Bill Gates
Oh no
Jim Carrey
Jeff Bezos
Fats Domino
Marissa Tomei
Warren Buffett
Mike Myers
Easy Kaysom
Who's the guy that shit his pants in the White House Al Roker Trey Parker Warren Buffett. Mike Myers. Easy case of.
Who's the guy that shit his pants in the White House?
Al Roker.
Trey Parker.
Louis C.K.
We got her already, didn't we?
Anne Hathaway.
Tim Allen.
Mark Zuckerberg.
Jeremy Piven.
Louis Lewis. Angela Lansbury.
Jonah Hill.
Kelsey Grammer.
Kiefer Sutherland.
Julia Roberts.
Oh, take his.
George Clooney.
Penelope Cruz.
Steven Spielberg.
Oh, fuck.
I thought he had a soul patch.
I'm going to go with
Braun James.
Reggie Miller. I have a good one.
Salma Hayek.
Tom Hanks.
Fuck.
Wood Harris.
Bon Scott.
Weird Al Yankovic. Wood Harris. Bon Scott. Weird Al Yankovic.
Or McDonald.
Yes.
Or Baccarat.
Jon Stewart.
You said it
earlier.
Daniel Day-Lewis.
Damn it.
Danny Glover. Antonio Banderis. Damn it. Danny Glover.
Antonio Banderas.
Chevy Chase.
Tom Brady.
Bill Knievel again.
Sly Stallone.
Javier Bardem.
Paul Newman.
Damn it.
Burt Reynolds.
You're just doing the ones we've seen.
I haven't seen him.
Amy Winehouse.
50 Cent.
Eric Clapton.
Winona Ryder.
Woody Harrelson.
Will Smith.
Bradley Cooper.
Flea.
Fuck, who's the kid from The Sixth Sense?
Ellie Joel Osment.
Ellie Joel Osment.
Oh, fuck.
You just want to get it so bad.
So bad.
I want to get it so bad.
You're not going to do it.
There's no algorithm to get it.
Eric Clapton.
You got a good one.
Charles Barkley.
Halle Berry.
Harrison Ford.
Nice.
Damn it.
Oh.
Oh.
You got it on four.
Atta bam.
Damn.
Axl Rose.
Oh.
I had one, then I just lost it.
Britney Spears.
Jeff Bezos.
There she is again, the fourth time.
She's the most famous person.
It's weird because there's repeats, but then there's a lot of ones that we've gotten.
Say one.
Tess.
Oh, it's me?
Yeah.
David Letterman.
Farrah Fawcett.
J. Cole.
Robin Williams.
Harry Connick Jr.
Slash.
Sarah Jessica Parker.
That was close, Nick.
Thanks.
Sarah Paulson.
Luis Guzman.
Courtney Cox.
Robert
Downey Jr.
Chris Pratt.
Barry Bonds.
Gina Davis.
Evan Peters.
You have to get this.
I'm not even close to being done.
Orlando Bloom.
No, no, no.
This is going to go on for hours.
Clint Eastwood.
Garth Brooks.
Robert Zemeckis.
Katie Perry.
Oh, Robert.
Gilbert Gottfried.
Vladimir Lenin.
Gary Busey.
Henry Fonda.
Eddie Murphy.
Cher. The founder of Scientology
L. Ron Hubbard
Ted Bundy
Chuck Klosterman
Justin Long
Robert Duvall
Tom Selleck
Heidi Klum
Avril Lavigne
Brad Pitt
Steven Spielberg
Hilary Duff
Why am I so optimistic every time?
I know, I know, I know
Will Smith
Fred Durst.
Lamar Odom.
Reggie Miller's off.
No one can say Reggie Miller.
Kim Kardashian.
Oh, there's your Michael Phelps.
There he is.
Fuck.
Kanye West.
Not quite, sass.
She wasn't that attractive.
Leo Tolstoy.
Charles Dickens.
Christian Bale.
Oh, I was literally just going to say.
Steve Martin.
J.C. Chazet.
Brandi, you know who that is?
Martin Short.
Heath Ledger.
John Madden.
Adam Levine.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!!!!! Oh my god
I'm the smartest man alive
Oh my god
Wow
Let's go
I'm the smartest man
Fuck
That was incredible Roan
What a rush
That was fucking awesome
I just
ran out of people to say.
You guys want to keep playing?
Oh no.
Roan, you gotta get three in a row.
Wow.
That was awesome.
I would play
this. I mean, this is our 12 hour stream.
We'll just do that the whole time
hooray
oh my god Roan
what a call
that's a high
how'd you know
what a call
I also didn't throw
the fucking cake
at the window
which I was gonna do
which is like
I'm fucking growing
I don't like this
nice Roan
oh that was awesome
can we watch that back
amazing what a moment I knocked my mic into the cake hey you did nice rune. Oh, that was awesome. We watched that back. Amazing.
What a moment.
I knocked my mic into the cake.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, lick that off, brother.
Yeah, you did.
The whole end of it.
I fucking ruled.
We did it kind of fast.
Oh, yeah.
Real fast.
I think so.
We're beasts at this game.
We figured out the algorithm.
The odds for that had to be extremely low.
All right.
Adam Levine.
Wait, I want to hear him say John Madden again.
Heath Ledger.
John Madden.
Adam Levine.
What a moment.
I was legitimately proud of you.
I was like, I fucking know that guy.
He hit the roulette wheel.
I'm fucking friends with the guy who said John Madden,
and then John Madden came up.
That was awesome.
I got to text my parents.
That was awesome.
Holy shit.
It just happened.
What a moment.
Wow.
Yeah, we'll do that for the 24-hour stream.
Is it 24 hours now? Oh, God.
I was thinking of, remember, the 24-hour stream when we started opening up cards?
And I said Buster Posey, and it was the first card.
It was like, I think about that moment all the time.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, like that.
You'll never get that moment out of your head.
Crazy.
Were we in the game?
Huh? Were we in the game? Were we in the game?
Yeah.
We have one more sliver.
One more sliver.
That was so much fun.
That was. So gratifying.
Yeah. The amount of work.
Which is no work.
Hindsight. Just 2020.
Oh no. It's Sass and Roan first.
Oh yeah. See what it lands on. Hindsight. 2020. It's Sass and Roan first. Let's see what it lands on.
It's Hindsight.
2020.
Sass and Roan first?
Yes. I'm going to give you three
games in the year
2003.
You have to give me a two game
parlay that hits. You have to go Moneyline.
Okay.
I'm going to face three games.
We have to pick the right winners of two
games. That's right.
So we have to parlay them all together?
Or just pick two? You have to pick two of these three.
Okay.
Alright? Yes.
Week one, Bengals at Bears.
Thunder at Lakers, game 60.
Brewers at Braves,
game 46.
And we just have to get two of the three.
That's right.
Well, you choose two to give me right now.
All right, it was Bears and who?
The Bengals at Bears week one in 2013.
2013, the Thunders at Lakers game 60.
2013, the Brewers at Braves game 46.
Let's go Bears.
Bears, Thunder, Braves.
Lakers.
This is Kobe. Oh, 2013. Bears, Thunder, Braves. Lakers. This is Kobe.
Oh, 2013.
Oh, 2013.
I thought it was 2003.
2013, I'm sorry.
Oh, that changes everything.
Engels at Bears.
Thunder at Lakers.
Brewers at Braves.
Then the Thunder is Kevin Durant.
All right, we're going to go Thunder, Bears.
We have to pick two.
Thunder, Bears. We're going to pick two. Thunder, Bears.
We're going Thunder and Bears.
That cashes.
Yeah!
Geez.
Triple-double for Westbrook.
Too easy.
Those guys over there are hot.
There's one week one.
Jay Cutler.
Hot.
The Braves won.
KB, Big Cat.
You have 2008.
Oh, boy.
You have number 11, Vandy, at Mississippi State week six.
You have the Bristol Food City 400.
Who won?
Greg Biffle or Jeff Burton?
Who had the higher finish?
Okay.
And the welterweight fight of Cotto versus Marghiato.
Margarita.
Margarito.
I think that was the fight that Margarita had.
He put cement in his hands.
He won.
He won, but it was illegal.
Did he default to the law?
He won the fight and then afterwards.
Well, I think, did Vandy beat Mississippi State?
I don't think so.
You don't.
It's not Cutler.
Cutler was drafted in 06, I want to say.
Week six.
They were ranked 11, V Vandy at Mississippi State.
Oh, that feels like an upset though, right?
No, I don't think.
What do you think?
I don't think he would do that for Brandon.
But Brandon's not.
Well, he didn't.
What was the last one?
Biffle?
Should we go Biffle?
Bristol Food City 400.
Biffle or Burton, who had a higher finish? Biffle. All right, Biffle? Bristol Food City 400, Biffle or Burton, who had a higher finish?
Biffle.
All right, Biffle or Margarita?
That cashes.
Wow!
That was a fight.
I remembered it.
Biffle won it, and yeah, TKO.
Yeah, he put fucking weights in his gloves.
Miguel Cotto, I loved his fighter.
I knew you'd think like that, that I would try to get Brandon mad.
Mississippi State won.
They won?
You knew that?
I did.
Was it a low-scoring affair?
Very, and we only won four games that year, so it was easy.
All right.
Brandon and Kate.
Don't fuck this up.
I'll get it right.
Dolphins at Jet.
Oh, your last year.
2022.
Dolphins at Jets week five.
Mets at Marlins Game 30,
and Bulls at Bucks Round 1, Game 1 of the playoffs.
What was the middle one?
Mets at Marlins Game 30.
Dolphins lost.
What was the last one?
Bulls at Bucks Round 1, Game 1, playoffs.
I'm just going to
zone out, to be honest with you.
Dolphins won, and I'm going
to say
I'm going to go Dolphins-Bucks.
Did the Bulls win that game?
Yeah, we lost 4-1.
Wait a minute.
I think the Bucks won game one.
Oh, they did? Bucks won game one.
Did we win game two? I think you won game two. Oh, they did? Bucs won game one. Did we win game two?
I think you won game two.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
Real low-scoring affair.
Ding!
Sorry.
I said Dolphins.
I meant Jets.
You said Dolphins, so the eh, wrong.
I said that.
Randy, you owe me a lot of cake.
I know.
You guys want me to eat that whole cake?
I do.
Yeah.
Yes.
I gotta go pee.
Well, eat the cake.
It'll absorb the piss.
The piss is too far gone.
You think so?
The piss is in the tunnel right now. Take it up. Just shove it up your dick hole, then. The piss is in the tunnel. Shove the cake. It'll absorb the piss. The piss is too far gone. You think so? The piss is in the tunnel right now.
Just shove it up your dick hole, then.
The piss is in the tunnel.
Shove the cake up your penis.
Yeah, it could work.
Fuck the cake.
Just fuck the cake.
It is.
I mean, the way that the frosting's kind of right in the middle.
Very inviting.
There's a little crevice there as well.
Crevice.
Mm.
Crevice.
So what's the last game, Nick?
That was it. Yeah, we won game two. You won game two. Yeah, Nick? That was it.
Yeah, we won game two.
You won game... Yeah, yeah.
That was the game.
Amazing job.
Who wins?
Me do.
Whoever had the least amount of cake.
I think you won, Sass.
I think I won.
The Yak won.
It's a great episode.
Lerone won.
Well, no.
I mean, he only had the one cupcake.
Sass won.
Well, actually...
I had another piece of cake
when we all lost, though,
so I was at two.
You only had two. Brandon has, like, won. Well, actually... I had another piece of cake when we all lost to those, so I was at two. You only had two.
Brandon has like eight.
On the lowest of keys...
KB?
KB didn't...
Eat any of it.
Didn't touch the cake,
so he low-key won.
I guess you did win, yeah.
Kate, how many slices of cake
did you...
I had a slice of cake
and a cupcake.
Three cupcakes.
KB won.
I think one was an extra.
KB, well done, brother. Oh, good job. The little wrinkle is you don't have to eat the cake. You don. I think one was an extra. Okay, be well done, brother.
Good job. The little wrinkle is you don't
have to eat the cake. You don't have to at all.
Kyle, your prize
is in the bag.
Nice.
It's another cake.
Thank you, Brandon. It's a bigger cake!
I thought the review would be funny,
but you saying it was.
Should we spin the real wheel?
Yeah.
Yes, also posters available now.
Oh, hell yes.
Wait, is it the size of one brick?
That's a huge brick watch.
It's a great wall at China.
I'll tell you what. Say I'm a college lady and I go back after the bar
and some guy has this on his wall.
Steak and blowjob.
That's steak and a blowjob.
How the fuck?
Oh, did you get cake in your eye?
Yeah. Oh, man.
How the fuck did you know it was going to be John Madden, dude?
Just played the algorithm.
He came around and then you know it was going to be John Madden, dude? Just played the algorithm. So nice.
He came around, and then I knew he was going to come again like fucking Christ.
This is insane.
Yeah, we're doing that for the entire 12-hour stream.
For sure.
I truly could.
I think it could be just a show of its own, like a show that we always do every single day for the rest of the night.
It's the only time we can end the show.
Not a wheel show anymore.
Celebrity Eliminator.
Should we play one more?
Pull it up and then...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We're not going to play another round.
We'll pull it up and when Brandon's walking back, let's pretend we got it again.
Wait, TJ, can you hit the back button and have it...
I don't want to cheat something beautiful.
No, no, no, we're just going to pretend we got it so Brandon can like...
Like, oh, I missed it.
Is there a back button?
No.
I'll just be, like, rolling through them when he walks by,
and then you guys pretend to be talking.
Okay.
Let's have it at that Burmese politician.
Yeah, just keep rolling through it.
What do you know about Burma?
Nick, we'll say you got it.
No, no, no.
That's too much of a giveaway.
We'll say Roan got it again.
No, no, no.
That's far too improbable. Maybe Chet. Oh, I was going to it. No, no, no. That's too much of a giveaway. We'll say Roan got it again. No, no, no. That's far too improbable.
Maybe Chad.
I was going to say Tra-Millionaire, too.
Tra-Millionaire.
All right, here he comes.
Big guy, you got to do it.
You got to leave that.
I got to do it.
Three.
These are all new guys.
Two, one, go.
Joe Jonas!
Joe Jonas!
What the fuck?
Holy fucking shit! Joe Jonas again
Joe Jonas
Oh my god
That was dope
That feels good
Holy fuck
Two in one minute
That didn't happen
I just said Joe Jonas
I just had to pee. You can watch it back. What do you mean?
I said Joe Jonas.
I just had to pee.
It wasn't even going that long.
Y'all couldn't have played multiple rounds while I was gone.
We started playing.
He wouldn't have got it on the first round.
No, I got it on the second round. Second round.
Give me my credit.
Give me my credit.
I don't have any credit to give you.
Give me credit for getting Joe Jonas.
Congratulations. Ha-ha. You were going to finish the cake, Brandon. Crank your ass. I didn't get it credit to give you Give me credit for getting Joe Jonas Congratulations
Haha
You were gonna finish the cake
I didn't get it
TJ had a good face though
I didn't get that shit
TJ had a good surprise face
What did it look like?
Whoa
Yeah
She's taking blowjob day
Lenny's girl's coming through
Which one?
Which one?
That is a full time legend right there
Who is that?
It is?
Yeah she has 9 million followers.
9 million?
What's her name?
Angela White.
Oh, she is a legend.
I'm familiar with her work.
What's her name?
Angela White.
I'm familiar with her work.
9 million OnlyFans.
No, no, no.
9 million, I think, like Instagram or some shit like that.
Would it be weird if I said I'm familiar with your work?
What's she do for a living?
She's a porn star.
I feel like they always do that bullshit.
Like, have we been together?
If it's weird, I'm right there with you.
Yeah, let's go, Zah.
I knew you and I fucked.
We fucked the same chicks.
We get down like that.
It means we'll share.
You want to share?
Want to share, Angela?
I mean, that scene would go crazy.
Yeah, we'll share.
We'll fucking share.
That's what you do for your brothers.
Fuck.
That's fuck.
He's such a bitch
Wait he wants
Mercedes Lewis
But they
Darren Waller
To the Giants though
Is that true
Yeah
Yesterday when he was
When we were all
Waiting for the news
I tried to call him
And he
Clearly did the
Like two rings
Banged on you
Yeah
That was a mistake
Didn't Devante Adams say like
If you haven't talked to me in the last three months
Don't call me about this shit
Yeah
Pissed off
That's not how it works Devante
Thing is addicting to play with
Big ass lighter
Big ass flame
Hilarious right?
Alright spin the wheel
Oh Brandon Oh Sheesh Ew Brandon Hilarious, right? All right, spin the wheel.
Oh, Brandon.
Sheesh.
Ew, Brandon.
Ew, you're a pervert.
Brandon, get in on it.
Wait until she's out of the office, dude.
Cool, dry.
All right.
Kyle.
Yes.
How's Craigslist Crusade?
I finished.
Nice. What? All right. Another thing done. All right, check it off. Got that one done. Yeah. That was Craigslist Crusade. I finished. Nice.
What?
All right.
Another thing done.
All right.
Check it off.
That one done.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Hell yeah.
Well done, brother. Rusty.
Fucking electric.
Great episode.
All right.
Well, 500 in the books.
Here's to 500 more.
I'm out.
Brandon and I are out tomorrow.
And then no show Thursday and Friday, March Madness.
Are you guys out tomorrow?
We're going to Columbus.
Bastards.
You son of a bitch.
Bastard.
Yeah.
Are you coming?
No, I can't.
Why?
I thought I could go to Columbus and then watch the games and then go to the wedding,
but the guy I was going to visit in Columbus isn't going to the wedding.
That was my ride to Pittsburgh.
Just rent a car.
Three hours?
I took to Pittsburgh.
I did it, boys.
Oh, my God.
You know what's going to happen, right?
You're going to die.
We're going to lose a wing.
You're going to die.
You should do that thing from the funny video
where you airdrop you on the front.
I'm the type of guy to be the only death in a plane crash.
Like one of those guys that...
Never mind.
Dies in a plane crash and he's the only one?
Just like someone that dies from turbulence, but then I remember that that happened.
Like your guy's flight.
It was hilarious.
The flight next to him.
Our security guard, yeah.
I haven't seen him since.
Follow Yak Historian.
I realized I crossed a line.
Yeah, follow Yak Historian.
Buy the shirt or the poster.
Only on sale for the rest of the day.
And shout out all the Yak listeners.
Thank you for making this show very fun.
I love doing it every day.
I doubt we have 500 more on this too, so enjoy it while you can.
No, this is, I look forward to the act every day.
I miss it when I'm gone.
And, yeah.
You never know what you're going to get, man.
All the people who fucking tune in, subscribe, you guys are the real ones.
Couldn't do it without you.
10X.
10X if you're with me.
10X.
10X.
10X.
10X.
Oh, Brandon's not 10X. 10X. Fuck. 10X,X Oh Brandon's not 10X
10ish
Fuck
10X bro
Who's looking down?
You were looking at Angelo
Why did he look like
The little kid
Trying to do the whoa
In the line
Okay
I gotta go buy some underwear
Alright see everyone tomorrow We'll be right back. Thanks for 500 beasts
Follow at Yakastorian on Twitter
Go buy the new things
Happy birthday Murph Dogg and Dylan Turner