The Yak - Owen and Sas Are Moving Out | The Yak 9-27-22

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

Zah + Carmen ForeverYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. We're doing Yankees. Love is the act. What, what, what, what? It's the act.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Hey, you could have Sass's seat. All you have to do is bring in a woman and his gay ass will flee. Sass's gay ass? Oh, you don't want to be hard on camera with your gay ass? Bitch, I'm happy to be back. Right. Yeah. You guys missed out pretty big.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Yeah. We should have been there for that. Hindsight, I feel bad about that. Should have asked. That was a little HR violation-y. Okay, who we got here? We got Sass, Kyle, Owen, Kate, Big Cat's coming in. Roan! How you doing, my boy?
Starting point is 00:01:09 Good to see you. Just before anyone starts, I have a good excuse. Okay. Why I do have the nail. Oh, my God. Roan's serving. Make me, bitch. Did you lose a nail?
Starting point is 00:01:23 No way. No, the one is the one has a little bit of a it's like an accent nail bro oh nice can you give us a tap on your phone you only did one hand
Starting point is 00:01:31 so people are gonna be pissed oh wait bitch look at it with the ring it's beautiful oh shit my hands look like rose from the Titanic which one
Starting point is 00:01:43 after the old rose those are hands that can toss a necklace in the ocean yeah after she was floating at My hands look like Rose from the Titanic. Which one? The old Rose. Those are hands that can toss a necklace in the ocean. After she was floating at sea for like three days, I look like such an old lady with these on. And let me tell you, they're fucking hell. I hate them. I'm taking shiny bald off the wheel because of how bad these are. Really?
Starting point is 00:02:02 Yeah, I'm taking it off. I had already planned on getting shiny bald, so I had my punishment for the next. You had assumed it? Tongue piercing. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to take it off because,
Starting point is 00:02:14 no, I don't want anyone to, I don't want anyone to have to go through this. You're getting a woogas for Ron. Oh, wow. Can you talk me through, like, what was it like, one, did you already have a salon or a place in mind? And what was it like going in there? What was the whole process?
Starting point is 00:02:31 They're nonplussed. I don't think that they really even care. You know what I mean? Yeah, they don't care. I went to a salon and I don't think they really batted an eyelash. Maybe they said something in a foreign tongue about me amongst each other. Roan from the nicest? Roan from half the story?
Starting point is 00:02:50 A deep cut. But it does, you have to pick up everything. It's like you're using like chopsticks at every turn and you have to pick up everything like kind of like this. So whenever like I see someone doing this, like that is cultural appropriation of people who actually have nails on. Like, I can't pick this up, like, or I guess I can, but it looks, I need to, like, get it.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Oh, my God. I'm glad I could do this for you guys. Yeah, man. I know you guys really wanted this. It's good for the episode. It's good, and I think you're funnier because of it. I think so, too. Thank you, brothers and sisters.
Starting point is 00:03:29 I appreciate this. I hope this brings you so much joy, because I am in hell. Hey. Well, you're being punished, deservingly so. For what, though, Sass? What did I do? You need punishment for the show to function. Why did I deserve it? It's bad behavior. It's bad behavior in general. You think I was really that bad? You're naughty. those ass what did i do you need punishments for the show to function why did i why did i just bad
Starting point is 00:03:45 behavior bad behavior in general i think it was really i was really that bad you're naughty well it's not like this became a permanent sliver of the wheel and it could probably and will happen to you again i'm taking shiny bald off off of the wheel just for knowing how bad this is um it's uh i'm kind of putting a dam on this slippery slope that we're going down because this shit's about to be bad, dude. Where does it end? We're going to take off shiny bald, and we're going to put that you just have to clean the boogers off the second stall on the left bathroom down here.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Are they still there? That just personally bothers me. Yeah. There's so many of them. People do rub the boogers on the stall. It's got to just be one person because they're all uniform in texture. It's almost like McDonald's nuggets. It's five different shapes.
Starting point is 00:04:33 So it looks natural, but it's not too much. Yeah, so I'm going to replace Shiny Bald with Scrub the Boogies off the left wall of the stall. It shouldn't be that hard, and it's really just going to help me down the line but just kind of in supplication to the wheel I'm going to make this something different. Shiny bald would have been truly fucking terrible.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah, that one would probably fuck with some people's day to day pretty aggressively. It would fuck with my will to work. Yeah, and also like even when the hair grew back, knowing that that's what lies beneath would fuck me up for eternity. I'm no beautiful man, but I would be grotesque, Quasimodo-esque with the bald head. And seeing the direction that Sass's hair has grown since he shaved his and it all grew back. How it all grew perfectly straight. I mean, I guess you could have gotten a haircut or something.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Francis's jacket? I don't know. Is that what you were jeezing? Every time Francis walks in the office, Joey Kamashti goes, Francis, I love your costume. Maybe the meanest thing you could say to somebody. Yeah, Joey's bullying Francis Sass. I like it.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Joey bullies a couple people. Hannah? Yeah. He's been bullying the fuck out of Hannah. Good bully. KB, he's been bullying you. Never bullies me. Why not?
Starting point is 00:05:53 I don't know. Because you're thick. Bullying you is more like a Helga Pataki bullying. Oh, yeah. It comes from a good place. He doesn't bully me. How was Mintz's birthday? It wasn't his birthday.
Starting point is 00:06:04 You would think it was. You would think it was. Well, you guys sung Happy Birthday, so what's birthday? It wasn't his birthday You would think it was You would think it was Well you guys sung happy birthday So what do you mean it wasn't his birthday? Classic prank We weren't at that dinner though Sometimes you just need some alone time on those trips So all of you guys got alone time away from
Starting point is 00:06:20 No those guys stuck together It was more us getting alone time Separately Yeah it was sweet No, those guys stuck together. It was more us getting alone time. Separately. Yeah, it was sweet. New Orleans, it was too hot. I can't even give a real evaluation of it or assessment because it was simply too hot to enjoy anything. Just damp and stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:39 You walk out and you're immediately drenched. Really? Yeah. That sucks. I thought it was the fall. Oh, that sucks. The humidity, you couldn sucks. I thought it was the fall. Oh, that sucks. The humidity, you couldn't, yeah, it was just simply too hot. I think the timing probably made it worse, too,
Starting point is 00:06:51 because everyone here was like, all right, finally, that crisp fall air, and that's right when you guys went. Being with Mintz on a shoot like this is, for a week on his home turf, he's more detached. I don't want to spoil anything we've done, but there was one thing that was a transaction.
Starting point is 00:07:10 He was next to us for the transaction. It was about $2,000, this thing we paid for, this service. And then the service was done, and Mintz forgot, he must have forgot that we paid. He was like, oh, I told you they'd roll out the red carpet. We were just like, oh, yeah. we paid. He was like, oh, I told you they'd roll out the red carpet. We were just like, oh, yeah. We paid.
Starting point is 00:07:29 In full. All right. But he's the man. He showed us a time. He showed us a lot of restaurants, a lot of cool bars. He knows what he's doing down there. You guys had some clips of you,
Starting point is 00:07:42 like, you were eating some kind of stew or roux or like a gumbo. You were with a TikToker named Stale Cracker. Oh, hell yeah. I know who that is. He was an awesome guy. The food was incredible.
Starting point is 00:07:53 I will say that. It makes massive pots, right? Yeah, and he had just killed a gator the day before, and we butchered that up. How was it? Tasty or not? I mean, he made it as good as it could be. I don't think it's that flavorful of a meat. You've got to make it into a sausage so you can have some other flavors in there.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Yeah, there was a lot of other things. It was there for the protein. He made Gator good, which is tough to do. Good for him. Did you guys have any poor boys while you were down there? Sure did, yeah. Poor boys, where'd you go? But I guess anything can be on those sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:08:29 You did Neighborhood Eats down there. A guy came up to us asking where Roan was. Fuck yes, dude. Love that. Which poor boy place did you guys go to? Acme? Oh, dude, I don't know that one. Yeah, Acme.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Damn, I suggested ten of them to Donnie when he asked, and he picked none of them. We were on mince time. Were you? Yeah. So did you meet Snow Like John? Yeah, great guy. He did? Yeah, he's the man. We didn't get to do the red beans and rice with him. He's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Yeah, he's the man. Yeah, we went to an LSU tailgate. People, yeah. It is like a foreign country. For sure. The accents and everything is almost indecipherable. It kind of toes the line. It's in a gray area of charming and absolutely revolting. That's Creole culture. They are naturally funny.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I think the rest of the South, their sense of humor is kind of stuck. It hasn't evolved in decades. But down there, they're cutting edge. They're funny. Yeah, they have the humor down. Is it just because it sounds funny? I think that's largely it. It's a lot of it.
Starting point is 00:09:33 You gotta do this and that. You gotta do that. It just makes it funnier. Yeah. They're capable of easy money, dude. Yeah, they're more fun. The drinking culture is real. Is it Southern Tailgates?
Starting point is 00:09:44 I feel like some that I've been to were kind of buttoned up. Yeah, the rest of the SEC, I think, is too prim and proper. But LSU's not like that? No. Yeah, they go hard. Isn't that the school where the guy was like, you touched my booty? Remember that old video? No.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Sounds like it. Wait, remind me, Kate? This video went viral a couple years ago, and I think it was an LSU tailgate where somebody touched this guy's booty. He was like, you touched my booty. And the clip went super viral. I don't know. I don't remember that clip.
Starting point is 00:10:13 No? Okay. We got to hang out with Mr. Making Money. Yeah, I heard he's a party. I mean, I've met him at a couple of the parties here, but I've never met him. What was he like? He's the man. He's the man.
Starting point is 00:10:24 He won't remember us, but I remember him. What type of the parties here, but... What was he like? He's the man. He's the man. He won't remember us, but... Remember him. What type of time was he on? Island time. For real? Yeah. Everybody down there is like, yeah, we're on island time down here.
Starting point is 00:10:35 It's not hot on islands. At all. And Lake Pontchartrain's right down there now. We hired a few priestesses. We... A lot of supernatural. A lot of supernatural. A lot of supernatural. Bitch.
Starting point is 00:10:53 LSU playing Kane stuck his spike in my booty. Bitch, I don't play that shit. Is that an Alabama jersey? I have no idea. Anybody play with me, I will kill you. I'm a booty. I don't know it sounds like he already
Starting point is 00:11:06 put his finger up in a booty sorry I guess I remember that differently I do remember that now though I had forgotten that put a finger in my booty
Starting point is 00:11:15 Ron what does your wife think of the nails yeah she thinks that I fucking deserve it you know what I mean for being on the yak you know
Starting point is 00:11:23 but why did she pay yeah she she laughed at it she thought it's ridiculous um this is done like on the trail like i don't know how you're commuting in because sometimes you ride your bike you take a road a bike today i rode a bike today was it tough holding the handle like is even that and that was the easiest part of my morning yeah by far just holding just holding a break and releasing a break but uh i walked past i walked through the projects past a group of uh teenagers over there and uh they gave me some
Starting point is 00:11:51 funny looks they definitely um they definitely didn't or i don't know hate crimes yeah i almost got hate crimes yeah it was or they just kind of gave me a little bit of a you know what i mean just a little threatening little thing you know what i mean do you feel gave me a little bit of a, you know what I mean? Just a little threatening little thing, you know what I mean? Do you feel, though, like a little zhuzh to yourself? Like, don't you feel a little spark in yourself? I don't know, really.
Starting point is 00:12:14 No. More like a hatred, dude. Look at that hand on the mic. It's gorgeous. Are those the regular hand motions you've always done and I haven't noticed? No, you have to. It just made you.
Starting point is 00:12:24 You have to do that to like whimsical. Yeah, it's all very free-flowing. Oh, really? I feel like I have to be more intentional. I'm terrified to rip them off. I feel like anytime I even stick my hand in my pocket I'm afraid it's going to pull back and they're so adhered on that
Starting point is 00:12:39 it will rip off my nail if anything happens, which I'm not looking forward to i have three quick nail facts for you um way thank you studies have found 32 different bacteria and 28 different fungi under fake nails oh wow um the most expensive bottle of nail polish ever cost one million dollars it had 98 carats of crushed diamonds in it. Wow. And then this one is a nails fact, but you'll have to guess how. Okay. Okay. This one's kind of a quiz. In 1989, a farmer found a video camera attached to a weather balloon on his farm
Starting point is 00:13:17 in Burr Oak, Michigan. He turned it over to cops thinking that they were looking for marijuana on the farms. He like didn't even watch it. He just called the cops and was like, this video camera landed here. Maybe it's your guys's. Take it. Maybe they were looking for marijuana on the farms he like didn't even watch it he just called the cops and was like this video camera landed here maybe it's your guys's take it maybe they were looking for marijuana on their farm the police put the film on and it is two men wearing black standing over a dead body and they're like holy shit on this video camera that they found attached to a weather balloon um for an entire year they call the fbi they're trying to figure out was this a cult killing, a gang murder? What was it? This has to do with nails.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Was it a copy of The Passion of the Christ? No. Was he killed with like an ice pick and it melted maybe or something like that? Or like they couldn't find the weapon? It was for Nine Inch Nails' first ever music video. They were in Chicago and the final scene was on a roof. They were so poor
Starting point is 00:14:05 they didn't have money for a crane to get the shot so they did a weather balloon but because it was the Windy City the balloon flew away with their camera and they lost it. It got into the FBI's hands and there was a real year long FBI investigation into this dead body. They thought it was like a snuff film and it was just the end of, it was Trent Reznor's
Starting point is 00:14:22 body. The lead singer of Nine Inch Nails but it was just that. That's three fun Trent Reznor's body. Oh, wow. The lead singer of Nine Inch Nails, but it was just fat. R.I.P. That's three fun nails fat. From Chicago and ended up in Michigan. In Burr Oak, Michigan. It went all the way over a lake. Went like over 100 miles away.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Which part of Michigan is that in? Probably the Detroit suburb. Yeah, I don't know. It was like over 100 miles from Chicago. I started watching the Dahmer thing. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. It's really, really depressing.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Is it? I thought it was kind of cool. You guys, I feel like you made it seem like a bummer. You want to touch on it? The episode that I just finished was, like, devastating. How did you like Rochester? Rochester was good. Your sister did not come.
Starting point is 00:15:01 And everyone was coming up to me being like, where's... You? What? All right. All right. All right. It's funny when it's Brandon's wife. She was busy. Everyone came up to me like, I know Nick's sister.
Starting point is 00:15:15 I was like, hell yeah. Yeah, my sister lives there. So where the fuck is she? She couldn't make it. She was busy. Sure, sure. Five shows. Couldn't make any of them.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Very, very busy. Yeah, sure. Five shows. Couldn't make any of them. Very, very busy. Yeah, must have been a slammed weekend. Her whole crew came out. I know. Not her, though. I know. That's on her. I told her she embarrassed me.
Starting point is 00:15:40 I was looking for her in the crowd. Got you on the list. You ain't going to fucking show. What was that statue that you went past in Rochester that you kept on taking pictures of? I was looking for her in the crowd. Got you on the list. Yeah. You ain't going to fucking show. Fuck. What was that statue that you went past in Rochester that you kept on taking pictures of? Oh, that was right near where I was staying. It's part of some college campus. But someone DM'd me and they were like, fuck this guy who made this.
Starting point is 00:15:56 He killed a dog. Was it EDP? I don't know who it was. It was a cool-ass statue, though. Yeah, it was Jersey Jerry I loved the statue Did you guys see that Jersey Jerry just admitted to like many atrocities Yeah yeah a lot of
Starting point is 00:16:13 That's a lot of like pre-serial killer things Yeah the drowning the mice Showed remorse though What is this though Sorry I'm late I was in a commercial I was told it would be over by one it wasn't and then i have to leave in like 20 minutes but i wanted to hang out to see roan's nails he looks pretty doesn't he he looks gorgeous how mad do you how how much does it suck for real sucks so bad it sucks it sucks way worse than a cast
Starting point is 00:16:41 maybe a hundred times worse than a cast and i already told them that I took a shiny bald off the wheel. Why? Just because I need to put a dam in the slippery slope that we're going down. It's become a slippery slope. No! If you place it where someone has to clean the boogies off the bathroom stall wall. No, that's way worse. I'd rather be shiny bald.
Starting point is 00:17:01 What? Do you do booger cleaner slash shiny bald? I think that it has to just be you do booger cleaner slash shiny bald? I think that it has to just be cleaning the boogies off that wall. People are definitely mad about the shiny bald. Well, I'm mad about the nails. I was looking for... But you know that you weren't... You wouldn't have to be bald.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I'm doing it as a karmic move, as a supplication to fucking... If I have to clean boogers off that wall, one of you fuckers is getting bald. I'm just going gonna say that right now that would be funny if roan took it off then you put it on and roan got it yeah way that it's going that's what's gonna happen because i put a good thing on last time and i still got this karmic retribution i'm still trying to build up good karma and i will not be able to escape it you thought you thought you could stop the dam when it's like i'm just a walking ball of dynamite that's just gonna blow it it up. I know.
Starting point is 00:17:45 You're not. You're a beaver. I'm a beaver hunter. You're not going to get. You're not going to. Because that would take. Both things aren't going to happen. You're not going to get that.
Starting point is 00:17:53 And then I'm not going to get bald. Yeah. What are the chances of it landing on that and then landing on. Let's get in the Barstool sports book. Yeah. The fucking odds must be incredible. Have you peed since you've gotten the nails? Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Do you like the way it looks? Yeah, does it feel like a stranger? I'm not touching my dick with these. Oh, I jerk off the whole time. That's like jerking off as Edward Scissorhands. That's like jerking off with a handful of knives. No, but you could just like... Oh, you think so?
Starting point is 00:18:21 Pickle? Let's try. I can't even take my pants down i will you touch my dick with those i can't even undo my zipper would it be gay if you touched my dick with those because it's technically not your nails i'd puncture through your dick right i'd fucking rip through your dick like a fucking angry cat this is it's it's so bad it hurts a little bit really yeah like it's like pulls on my nails and every time I put them in my pockets, I'm afraid that it's going to rip fully off because they're so adhered that it's like if you pull them back, the whole nail's coming with it.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Are there any other battle rappers getting their nails done next to you? They look good. It does look good. It's a good deal job. Yeah, they look good. How much was it? I forget. Honestly, I just gave a good deal job. Yeah, they look good. How much was it? I forget. Honestly, I just gave a card.
Starting point is 00:19:09 I'm going to say $60. Will it hurt to take them off, Kate? He should go get them taken off instead of try it himself. Unless you can soak them for a while and polish remover or something. No, if you try and peel them off, you could ruin your undernail.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yeah, I think that's what's going to happen too. It sucks so bad. I don't like it. I think you look good. What's this? Oh, a gift. A gift for me? Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:34 If it's a severed head, I'll be very upset. What's up? Zach. Riddle. Yeah. Oh. Punch through. No, not punch through. Wait, you're the armless guy? No, no. Oh, I was going to say. Artist. No, not punch through.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Wait, you're the armless guy? No, no. Oh, I was going to say. This is artist. Yeah, no, no, but there was an armless artist. Not him. Oh, okay. That's Alejandro.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Uh-oh. Should I open it right now? Yeah. Okay. Oh, look at this. What do we got? Oh. My cheesesteak.
Starting point is 00:20:04 This is sick, dude. It looks like cheese. I saw you in Michigan, right? Was that? Aurora. Oh, Aurora. Right, you gave me a bunch of stuff. Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Dude, thank you. Good shit. Yeah, let me open it. Yeah. That's cute. We had the whole Philly house decorated with his stuff. You know he's a very good artist. He has some pieces up in the Nick Museum.
Starting point is 00:20:25 He's got to shout out to Graham. I didn't even realize he was here. He just walked in. Yeah, I kind of do. Yeah, I guess that's what's... Going in the dark. Shout out to Instagram. Say it in the mic. Say it in the mic over there. Shout out to your Instagram. Zach Riddle Art.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Z-A-C-H-R-I-D-D-L-E Art Official artist of Barstool by the way That's what Davis said He also said is this kid Maybe the greatest artist of our generation So I'm not saying I agree With that potentially
Starting point is 00:20:58 Do you have pieces for sale? Okay you do This is sick That one has the cheese melting down the side As if you're gripping the sandwich Dude thank do this is sick no one has the cheese cheese melting down the side as if you're gripping the provocative dude thank you this is a great gift i'm gonna cherish these and glow in the dark yeah what i was thinking is uh like a whatnot auction with because i have like i think i tj's got them in there but uh like pins like buttons oh nice and we could print or press buttons live during the show so i was i was thinking is everyone takes a selfie we print off the selfie pictures i'm gonna
Starting point is 00:21:34 punch that and then who you want to punch me. I think you've got to. Oh, you can't. All right. Oh, you can't. None of them. Look, there's a bar in the middle. So get your. Wait, do we have one for like a defunct show?
Starting point is 00:21:54 Well, I have this. I have two of them. There's a morning sunshine one under Brandon's desk. Yeah. That one. Yeah. Should we go get that one? Kyle.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Kate's like, no. Kyle. Kyle, you won't punch this. I'm going to punch it. I'll wait until he leaves. Why don't we go ahead and wrestle first? Oh. You wrestle?
Starting point is 00:22:14 You know, in college or high school. Inches high in quarters. The answer would be no to that. See how strong he is. See how strong his high in quarters is. I did play a sport in college Can we guess? Rugby?
Starting point is 00:22:29 No Baseball Oh pardon me Football Skateboarding? Wrong Kate Water polo Water polo
Starting point is 00:22:37 Where'd you go? What college? Never heard of it Guaranteed You want to test KB with that? Give it to him I bet he knows what's going on Try him
Starting point is 00:22:44 Try him I guarantee it's going on. Try him. Try him. I guarantee it. Try him. In the South. Try him. In Tennessee. I'll give you that, too.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Lipscomb. No, but you're in the right city. Oh. Belmont's well-known. Belmont is well-known. Plus, I'm not good enough to play golf at Belmont. Oh, you play golf. Golf.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Okay. It was golf. It was golf. That's the final answer. Does it begin with? T. Chattanooga. Chattanooga. That's where I graduated, but that's not where I.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Chattanooga. Chattanooga University. Tarrytown. Tarrytown? Might be. Hummy Sticks. You guys were in Chattanooga recently, weren't you? We were in Chattanooga.
Starting point is 00:23:22 You guys were just in Chattanooga. Timothy Charmalay? He doesn't know. Oh, no. He doesn't know. Damn it. All right, now you don't even really want to promote the school. All right, say it.
Starting point is 00:23:31 No, it's called Trevecca Nazarene. Oh. Trevecca Nazarene University. And then I was like, I hate this place. And I also suck at golf. That's your great artist, but your judgment is suspect that you had to actually go to Trevecca Nazarene To figure out it sucked Like the name itself
Starting point is 00:23:50 That place sucks How bad were your grades in high school? Not bad I wasn't like an AP student Or any shit like that Or an A or a B or a C student Alright well Zach thank you for this Zach Riddle Art Check it out Or an A or a B or a C student. No. All right. Well, Zach, thank you for this.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Zach Riddle Art. This is sick. Zach Riddle Art. Check it out. You guys want to do some pins live tomorrow. I'm telling you, we print them off and literally, like, I think we could auction off everyone's selfie or something like that. See whose face is worth the most. All right. So we should maybe do that.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Maybe we won't do it on the yak, but we should do it. We should just do a whatnot auction. I'm here till the 30th. All right. Smart move there. It's the fucking 24th, dude. Just go, Zach. He's fighting himself for six more days. If y'all see me
Starting point is 00:24:39 sleeping on the couch here, don't say anything. We'll know it was you. Here's to the 30th of December. Good shit, brother. Appreciate you. Thank you, Zach. We'll do the pins tomorrow. Don't say anything. No, it was you. Here's to the 30th of December. Good shit, brother. Thank you, Zach. Yeah, we'll do the pins tomorrow. I like that. So when I first...
Starting point is 00:24:51 He is the official artist of Barstool. Yeah, so he did some anus ones that he sent to me. And it was the first thing that I've gotten from a submission, like a piece of art. And his signature on the back, it looks like it says Rach. And so I thought it was from a girl. from a girl jerk off to it i did that's how we got the idea tell me that doesn't look like rach rach put my fake nails on jerked off hmm nope that's oh yeah that is rage
Starting point is 00:25:21 i'm gonna jerk off to this way yeah, dude. And I was so pissed off. How can I figure this out? There it is. Rage Ittle. Rage Ittle. Rage Ittle. Hot name. Oh, that is a hot name.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Rachel Ittle. Search Rachel Ittle. Rachel Ittle. Let's find her. She's got a fucking... She's in... Oh, we got Kim, too. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:25:44 New rule. We got a revolving door. New oh, we got Kim, too. Wait, wait, wait. New rule. Got a revolving door. New rule, though. Kim's girl can't. You can't be taken seriously with your rules. Look at him. Kim's girl can't come in. You just read like this.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Talk on the camera. New rule. New rule. She's not allowed to come in unless she talks on the camera. New rule. New rule, bitch. Listen, bitch. You should get a little like dominican going yeah if i wasn't i mean
Starting point is 00:26:09 and even doing this i told them as a cultural appropriation people can't talk like this like i don't want to see anybody sassy in their tiktok if they have their own natural nails ebony understands the fucking plight so does joey and actually so does Kim. Not to put her on blast, but she says that she also has false nails. Jerry! Holding his laptop in a strange way. Can you just get on the mic for one second and let us know the update on you still working here? I don't know, you got on the wrong side of Dave today.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Yeah. I mean, I mean, how do I say this without being disrespectful? I'm going to tweet what I want to tweet. I didn't know the back story, unfortunately. But, yeah, I mean, I guess it's an L. Oh, no. And the fact that you called it a common L, that's a lie, dude. You don't have common Ls. You know, it's interesting.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I was reading this today. Oh, Jerry's been doing some reading. Everyone be careful. That's a dangerous Jerry. Well-read Jerry. I was reading this today. This is like when I ran into nuclear arms. Jerry's reading.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Yeah, this is the Barstool Core Values. Oh. This is common sense. I might have missed that one. Okay, yeah, that one was definitely... But the rest be the solution, not the problem. How does
Starting point is 00:27:34 that apply to this? I made up for it, you know what I mean? How? With the JJ statement. Oh, okay, yeah. You were the solution to end the problem. You created a problem, then you solved your own problem. Well, it says in the core values. Oh, okay. Yeah. You were the solution. You were the solution and the problem. You created a problem, then you solved your own problem. Well, it says in the core values. There was a problem.
Starting point is 00:27:49 There was a solution. He created both, actually. There can't be a solution without a problem. Exactly. You actually are very smart how you did it. Exactly. Because everyone else is just working. You're solving problems. Diversity of thought. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Puts the least first and be authentic. You authentic? He was being authentic. He was being authentic. You authentically thought that Mike Trout actually walked by a couple of kids that weren't linked to an autograph seeker. Dude, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:28:21 The guy's TikTok was all autographs. Get it from TikTok. You have to understand, my buddy screen recorded it. Ah. Sent it to me. That's where he banged you up. Your buddy banged you up. You know what you need to do?
Starting point is 00:28:35 What? Lysol. No. Light him up. Sunny D, give him the Sunny D treatment. Light him up. But you'll get some autos this weekend. He'll get some autos at the game.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Yeah, he'll get some autos. He'll get some autos this weekend. He'll get some autos at the game. Yeah, he'll get some autos. He'll get some autos. Listen, and if Dave thinks this is the end of this, there will be, mark my words, there will be 40 kids out there next time he's in here. Jerry's army. That would rule. Oh, Jerry's tots just being like. Is Jerry's army a child army? Is he the Coney?
Starting point is 00:29:05 Oh, yeah. Just a bunch of little kids. Harry 2012. Dave, Dave, can I get your autograph? It is so funny that he didn't like use common sense as number two there. It was two kids at night outside of Mike Trout's hotel. And them saying,
Starting point is 00:29:20 is that Mike Trout? Like him. Yeah. Like looking back to a person like, is that who you want? Come on in, Kim. There's a new rule, though. Bella may not come in unless she goes on the mic.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Unfortunately. Oh, Bella. What is today? We're doing cocktails on Tuesdays now. What the fuck? Are you just getting us drunk every day? I actually have to leave because I have to do another interview. Kim, why don't you sit down for a second. Yeah, what the fuck? Are you just getting us drunk every day? Thank you, Kim. I actually have to leave because I have to do another interview.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Kim, why don't you sit down for a second? Sit down. I'll be back tomorrow for the full show. Sorry that commercials and... Oh, I'm sensing fall. I think I see a clove. Kim, is this a marish... Sorry they fucked me over today with my skin.
Starting point is 00:30:03 ...orange skin? This is unbelievable. It's very fancy. If it gets wet, someone come get me. I'm doing an interview in... If what gets wet? If the wheel's wet. Is the interview in person?
Starting point is 00:30:17 Is the person in studio? Because they'd have to get wet too. They still will have to get wet too. If I end up on the wheel, just come grab me. Fair enough. God bless. Why don't you leave those things? Kim, tell us what we're saying. What, Kate?
Starting point is 00:30:34 Nothing. I do want to see Kyle punch through. I want to go get the old morning sunshine one. Very refreshing. It's called autumnal blessing cocktail. Ooh. Autumnal?
Starting point is 00:30:53 Autumnal. It's actually autumn. Autumnal. Well, what do you say? Autumn? Autumn. Should we do fall?
Starting point is 00:31:00 That's right. Autumn. Autumn, yeah. But don't you say autumnal? Okay, we're going to call it autumn blessing cocktail. The autumn blessing cocktail. The autumn blessing, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:10 The autumn blessing cocktail. It has Cointreau, citron vodka, honey, and tea, berry tea. Taste the tea? It's very good. This is phenomenal. It's like subtle. Yeah, it's not too much. Yours is kind of like a, what's it called, an Arnold Palmer.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Yours is just tea and lemonade. Whatever the tea is, it's delicious. Yeah, I feel like this would be good on its own. It tastes like those old Teavana samples from the mall. Oh, yeah. Flapping leaves in the window. Kim, this is my favorite. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Really? Yeah. Yeah, this is the best one. I agree. This is the sound. Very refreshing. Very refreshing. Very good.
Starting point is 00:31:41 I also enjoy it. I'm going to be honest. It's not my favorite, but I like it. But I think you've made, I like the sweet ones a little bit better than these ones. Steve-O, good to see you, Steve-O. Oh, is that Steve-O? Oh, cool. Oh, and his dog.
Starting point is 00:31:56 What's up, Steve-O? Who is that? It's from Jackass. Have you ever seen Jackass? Oh, yeah. He stapled his nutsack to his leg or something like that. And he got a paper cut between his balls. Oh, yeah. He stapled his nutsack to his leg or something like that. And he got a paper cut between his balls. Yes. You've definitely seen that man's testes. Yes. No, no. Well, I mean, I've never watched
Starting point is 00:32:12 Jackass. I've seen that. That's the problem. You're right in the demographic. Thank you. Kim was more of a Viva La Bam. You would love that show. I don't even know what Viva la bam is that's like a it was an offshoot of jackass but uh there was a scene in jackass one time where he put himself
Starting point is 00:32:31 into a uh a porta potty that had been used by construction workers and then launched the porta potty with two bungee cords with himself inside of it thus shaking up the uh remnants of these these workers and completely wrecking himself. Maybe the grossest thing that's ever been filmed. That is disgusting. He's just in the office now because he's sober. Oh, was he not sober when he did this? I think that he was on Xanax.
Starting point is 00:32:56 I think everything else. A little bit. He's been on everything. He's got a crazy video listing everything he ever did. What were some of the things? He used to be a nitrous. A lot of whippets. I don't even know what nitrous is.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Window cleaners. You could boof it as well. You could boof it. What's that? Boof it? It's when you ingest drugs through the butt. Bullshit. It truly is. That's when you ingest drugs through the butt. Bullshit. It is.
Starting point is 00:33:26 It truly is. It truly is. That's what boofing is. Really? There he is. Anna Beers did it before one time. Hey, Steve-O. What a cute-ass dog.
Starting point is 00:33:34 That's the dog he rescued from Asia, right? Such a calm dog. Such a good dog. I think the dog's on Xanax. It might be. Don't they have dog Xanax? They do. It's called Xanax. I might be. Don't they have dog Xanax? They do. It's called Xanax.
Starting point is 00:33:46 I'll tell you a funny boomer move. Works just as well. No, my friend's dog, I went to see her in Dallas, and her dog is on some Xanax stuff. And she works for a bank, and she was going into a meeting and accidentally took the dog's pills with hers. Oh, she did dog Xanax? Like dog Xanax, it's called, well, it's Trazodone. I don't know what that is, but it calms the dog down pills with hers. No. She did dog Xanax? It's like dog Xanax. It's called, well, it's Trazodone.
Starting point is 00:34:07 I don't know what that is, but it calms the dog down a lot. Did it work on her? She made it through the meeting. Really? Yeah. Sticking her tongue out the window in the middle of it.
Starting point is 00:34:16 I mean, ketamine is horse tranquilizer. I feel like taking drugs that are for animals might be, it might work well. Ketamine. Yeah, ketamine is a horse tranquilizer. Dogs annex. What about the one that cures the cancer?
Starting point is 00:34:29 Huh? De-warming? Oh, yes, ivermectin. Yeah, ivermectin. Ivermectin, you get fucked up off ivermectin. What? I think you get fucked up off of it. I think you get crazy dreams.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Oh, but you don't get, like, loopy. In the daytime. But once your eyes close, I think that's when you really start getting loopy. You guys ever catch wind of Benadryl Twitter? No. They melt them down into mega Benadryls. Mega Bennys?
Starting point is 00:34:51 Yeah. Really? Yeah, just these bars of soap. We should do a Benadryl episode. What does it do? It makes you woozy? Yeah, you probably just fall asleep. You hallucinate.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Junior prom, that's what we did because we couldn't find beer and my whole body there's a scene in harry potter where they they like get rid of the bones in your body with this spell and you're just like a rubber ball human and that's what i most closely say it as like you just took a bunch i just we just were like chugging it and by the end like i i was like holy shit like i could get like standing up straight i could get like my elbows on the ground like we're all like, we're so flexible. It's crazy. Damn.
Starting point is 00:35:27 It just felt like I had no bones. That's interesting. Benadryl. Benadryl. Just a ton of Benadryl. You see the hat man? No. What's the hat man?
Starting point is 00:35:37 A lot of people see him when they take a lot of Benadryl. No, I've never heard of this. No, I didn't see the hat man. It's Gaz. Wake up to Gaz. Oh no, the hat man. It's Gaz. Wake up to Gaz. Oh, no, the hat man. I saw him when he was like 10 years old, the hat man. Kim, have you ever heard of the hat man?
Starting point is 00:35:54 No. I'd never heard of him either. There's probably some artist representations of it. And I like... Oh! I was like me and rough and rowdy. That is Gaz. There's a guy that goes to the Thunder Games when we're in the playoffs that dresses like that.
Starting point is 00:36:09 He has that black hat. He wears black leather pants, a black leather jacket. He's a hallucination. He's really old. Yeah, you've just been taking Benadryl. I saw him when I was in the basement of my house. I don't like this at all. Were you off the Bennys?
Starting point is 00:36:23 Yeah. I don't know because I was really young. I might have been. I don't remember. My parents might have given me one. I might have been this at all. Were you off the Bennys? Yeah. I don't know because I was really young. I might have been. Like, I don't remember. My parents might have given me one. I might have been sick or something. Yeah. Itchy.
Starting point is 00:36:31 But I saw him. And then I talked about it on, like, one of our first episodes of the podcast. And everyone was like, yeah, I've seen the exact same thing. And there's, like, a whole subreddit for it and everything. The first episode of Boy Dad was about Hat Man? It was, like, one of probably the ten. Early. Probably within the the ten. Early. Probably within the first ten, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Fascinating. KB, do you think it's real? Um, I mean, yeah, I guess. I don't know. Oh, it's real. There's probably a lot of overlapping dream themes. Oh, no, I was not asleep when this happened. I was wide awake.
Starting point is 00:36:59 No, then. I swear to God. It wasn't a dream. He said he just saw it. It was not a dream. I saw it. I rubbed my eyes. I was like, what the fuck't a dream. He said he just saw it. It was not a dream. I saw it. I rubbed my eyes. I was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:37:06 And then I looked and he's just right there. And then he went away. Well, didn't you have ghosts in your house? Was that you? Oh, well. Someone here said they had ghosts in their house growing up. Wasn't one of your houses haunted? One of my houses was haunted, but it was, no, my grandparents' house was haunted as fuck.
Starting point is 00:37:23 You definitely are a ghost guy. Like, you believe in ghosts. Oh, 100%. 100 100 they follow you because they fall hard yeah oh yeah they love me they can sense the fear on me am i have you ever lived in a haunted house no i have never lived in a haunted would you believe it if or were there any like old properties that you ever lived on or like and they just weren't haunted or you don't believe in ghosts really i don't really believe in ghosts i'm on the same i'm on the same page as you don't want to say that we just did a ghost even if you don't believe it you don't want to you don't want a few ghost tours in louisiana and they didn't tell us what we were doing they just said it was a haunted apartment
Starting point is 00:37:54 and they brought us up to this room pitch black we all had gopros and like attached to our chests and kyle went to one of the rooms was was laying in the bathtub. And we went downstairs and the woman was like, Kyle, what drew you to the bathtub? And you didn't have an explanation. And that apartment, the husband chopped up the wife in the bathtub and you just went directly to it.
Starting point is 00:38:20 I don't know why. I don't like bathtubs. That's horrifying. Did you take a bath or you just actually went and looked at it? It was pitch black, a very old apartment. It was closed off and they gave us free reign in this place. Wow.
Starting point is 00:38:34 That's scary as fuck. Why? That is scary. You mean why? Well, how's it scary to you now? It's just spooky. It's a spooky story. Spooky, but it's not scary. It's not like you're going to get chopped up's just spooky. It's a spooky story. Spooky, but it's not scary.
Starting point is 00:38:45 It's not like you're going to get chopped up in the bathtub. It's a spooky story. Spooky. Spooky story scared him. That would be an angry ghost, right? Oh, yeah. Well, it depends on which one. If it's the girl.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Yeah. The wife. I don't know. The wife might be more angry than the man. It would be, too. I would be.. I would be. She got chopped up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Especially if she's on her ghost period. Yeah. A real bitch. Yeah. Did you feel anything, Kyle, when you were in there? No. Any chills? Any hair?
Starting point is 00:39:15 Is that cold? You were incredibly disrespectful too. Really? Yeah. We had a Ouija board and stuff. No. Yeah. I brought a voodoo doll.
Starting point is 00:39:23 You did. Yep. We had made it. Your own? Yeah. We. Oh, board and stuff. Yeah, I brought a voodoo doll. Yep, we made it. On your own? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Big mistake.
Starting point is 00:39:31 We had like a witch make that doll a real voodoo doll. She did some shit to it. Really? Yeah. Where'd you find a witch? They're everywhere down there. Yeah, it's all witches. That's fun.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Priestesses. Yeah. Wow. Did she do any type of like communicating with the other side for you? The witch? Yeah, there was a lot of that. A lot of them talking to ghosts. Wait, who was the voodoo doll?
Starting point is 00:40:01 Doesn't it have to be something? Don't you? It was him. We were mockingly. We were doing like the Hollywood depiction of voodoo doll? Doesn't it have to be something? It was him. We were doing the Hollywood depiction of voodoo dolls, which is a mockery of the actual practice. What's the actual practice? How's it different? You don't actually stick pins in them.
Starting point is 00:40:16 They're more of that. You can't harm really anybody. You can use them as protection. You can use them as wards. So if there's a bad spirit, maybe it goes to the doll rather than you keep it by your door Dave and Frankie
Starting point is 00:40:27 made a voodoo doll of me one time when I oh yeah that was fucked that was fucked and you put a pin under his hiney
Starting point is 00:40:34 I put a pin under his hiney in response to the voodoo doll oh yeah they were trying to get me it's even more fucked and I have the voodoo doll still I have it like for safekeeping
Starting point is 00:40:43 I have it protected so like nothing can happen to it. Where's yours, Kyle? My stuffed Kyle? Yeah. It's in my apartment. Okay. Get rid of that thing.
Starting point is 00:40:52 There's going to be stuffed Kyles in the Barstool store, though. Yeah. Is there really? Yeah. I would totally buy one. And they make noise, right? Yeah. They sing the phrase cable car.
Starting point is 00:41:03 One of the things. I don't know why they did that. The phrase? The phrase. The phrase. Where did I go wrong? It's more Kyle's voice. Okay, got it. He has a vibrato. He sounds like he's in Bright Eyes.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Oh. There's a little Alanis to it, too. Can you give us some of it? It's near your age. If you were a stranger. I can taste the game. I got him, Kate. I can't.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Say that you and me and then never change. So you can buy stuff, Kyle, that'll have that. You can hear it anytime you want. Oh. I thought that was really nice.
Starting point is 00:41:40 You know what else I thought was really nice? Kim, I thought those cookies that you brought in were really good. So good. So good. What was it, like a snickerdoodle or something with caramel or butterscotch in the
Starting point is 00:41:51 middle? Caramel. They're salted caramel, but it's kind of a snickerdoodle recipe first. It was fantastic. Do you have a better kitchen? Do you have a standard New York kitchen, or do you have more of an oven set up with a little bit of space to bake? A little bit of space to bake.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Really? Yeah. That's awesome. You can kind of tell. How long does it take you usually to whip up some cookies? To whip up a batch? And bake them
Starting point is 00:42:15 or just whip up a batch? No, and bake them. And bake them. Couple hours. Really? Yeah. Damn. And people just consume them
Starting point is 00:42:22 in like a minute. I know. Damn. And then you have to clean it up yeah that sounds like the worst part of donnie's cooking videos and he's like making an aioli in a blender it's like that must be hell to clean up for just like a little drizzle of an aioli that you can get for 259 at like the local store he does and he's kind of got all his stuff everywhere i know but he is a great chef isn't he oh yeah Oh, yeah. It looks like it. I don't know. I never taste the food.
Starting point is 00:42:45 It always looks good. It always looks great. He made us some chicken curry. Really? Or curry? What did he make us? He made us curry. It was phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:42:55 It was fucking good. And naan. What was this? Homemade naan. What was this? Going up to his place. You did? In Harlem, bro.
Starting point is 00:43:01 What is the dish of Oklahoma? What? The cuisine of Oklahoma. What is the dish of Oklahoma? What? The cuisine of Oklahoma. What's the official dish? Cracklins? Chitlins? What was the food? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:43:14 I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I would say steak. You guys can't claim steak. Why not? You can't say steak is New York. Steak's not synonymous with Oklahoma by any means. I don't know. West Virginia has pepper Oklahoma by any means. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:26 West Virginia has pepperoni rolls. Yeah, I don't know. That's our thing. We don't really have anything. Tex-Mex. We have Tex-Mex. You guys need an identity. We do kind of need an identity.
Starting point is 00:43:34 What would it be? Beans. Beans. You got beans? It's not beans. We all got beans. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Yeah. We used to eat chicken fried steak. I haven't had chicken fried steak in about 20 years. Is there a lot of gross fat-sos down there? What? There are a lot of gross fat-sos. Fat-sos? Gross fat-sos.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Gross, gross fat-sos. Well, I'm not answering that. Why? Just say no. No, there's not. Yeah, as long as you say no. If you didn't want to answer it, you wouldn't be like, I don't want to answer it. There's actually no gross fat sos.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Most iconic food. Look, there's a steak. Steak, baked potato. I think if anybody has claimed to a steak, it would be maybe Omaha. Yeah. Have you ever had an Omaha steak? Like, you know, that guy that would drive around. I think they're a sponsor of some things here right now.
Starting point is 00:44:26 I was saying that before. They're good. I love them. They're really good. Oh, shit. I love them. They're delicious. I can't get enough of them.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Stop interrupting our praise of Omaha Steak. Yeah, that's right. No, I would never. Carry on. Carry on. Get a whole big box of them. It's not as good as Roebuck, though. Oh.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Well, they're both equally good. Pretty great, yeah. Somebody else can do it. Oh, I thought you were about to do it, Owen. Let's S're both equally good. Pretty great, yeah. Somebody else can do it. I thought you were about to do it, Owen. Let's Sass do it. All right, Sass, hit us with that. Everyone, we should be serious. Let's get a little buzz for this.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Kim, yeah. Thank you, Kim. I'm going to taste Big Cap. Right before this, I did Lowering the Bar with the world's strongest beer, and I did a big thing of it. It's 75% right yeah god it made my mouth water like never before roback has the best performance polos hoodies and q-zips but now we can rock roback head to toe we've been waiting to make a huge announcement and it's finally time
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Starting point is 00:46:02 That's 20% off all polos, q-zips, hoodies, and joggers with code YAK. All right. Good job. Thank you. Thank you. I'm a professional. That's how professionals do it. Should I go get the more sunshine one?
Starting point is 00:46:20 You want to just punch through this real quick? I'm not sitting down. There's a few things you can't do sitting down. Not again, buddy. I don't want the episode to end. No, I'm concerned about the wood panel in the middle. Oh, you could break through that. That's balsa wood.
Starting point is 00:46:38 I know I could. That's born to be broken. Right. Give it a Superman punch. I don't want to be that guy. What about a kick? Oh, yeah, that'd be good. He did the whole thing
Starting point is 00:46:47 where he came to New York with the paintings. Oh, somebody painted that for them? Yes. Oh, well, why are we punching him? Because we want to. Well, I don't want to. I do want to.
Starting point is 00:46:58 What if I find an older one? And the guy who did this is in the office and very nice. Mm-hmm. It'll be good advertising for him. I'm not going to do it right now. Let me just feel it though.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Yeah, yeah. Kyle, you could destroy that thing. You're definitely strong enough. Are you thinking you're not strong enough? What's your hold up? We could auction off both. Anyone could punch. That's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:47:25 This is going to be a test-controlled group to see if your punch adds value to a game. I want to do something that an average person would fail at. So like punching through a piece of glass? Should we all try first and then when we can't do it,
Starting point is 00:47:39 you do it? Phone book? Like you want to karate chop a phone book? Punching through a phone book. Has anyone done that? Karate chop through a phone book? Don't they do that all the time on TV? Karate chop chop a phone book? You're punching through a phone book. Has anyone done that? Karate chop through a phone book? Don't they do that all the time on TV? No.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Karate chop through a phone book? No, they rip it. Hitchens, pull it up. I need to see it. Karate chop books? I need to find my new idol. That would be extremely difficult. You could crack a phone book with a punch.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Or like punch square through the middle of it. Yeah, yeah. You'd have to be really strong. I hope the first guy that comes up doing it is that Olympian we love. Man destroy. See, I don't want to see the middle of it. Yeah, you'd have to be really strong. I hope the first guy that comes up doing it is that Olympian we love. See, I don't want to see the tear in half. That bores me. I'm impressed that you all even know
Starting point is 00:48:11 what a phone book is. Yeah. That's like that old tweet of like the clip on the bread that you use. They're like, Gen Z will have no idea what this is. Those are thin-ass directories. bread that you use. They're like, Gen Z will have no idea what this is. Everyone knows what that is. Those are thin-ass directories. Oh, that's a logo.
Starting point is 00:48:35 That's impressive. He's crashing. Wait a minute. Are there babes? I seriously don't know how he's doing that though. They're made of paper. Yeah, this is impressive. What are the groupies for this event called?
Starting point is 00:49:00 It is like a lot of performances. White pages. They're all named Page. They're Caucasians. Bam. This is the only reason they make phone books anymore. Bellies.
Starting point is 00:49:17 It's not to look up numbers, it's just to rip through. For strong boys to rip through. What is this guy like in day-to-day life? He's probably just looking to rip shit. Yeah, yeah. Their house is always torn apart. He's ripping farts. Kate, do I even need to ask?
Starting point is 00:49:36 Would? Yeah, oh yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Earmuffs, man. If there was a guy in the corner of the bar, just drinking with a stack of phone books, like his inbox and outbox,
Starting point is 00:49:46 you're just ripping. Yep. Heading on over there. Definitely plays. Yeah. Your body count probably looks like a Ripley's Believe It Nerd hot museum. Just a wide array of of uh
Starting point is 00:50:05 mildly talented dudes yeah yeah yeah dudes that have are really good at one thing dude wouldn't that be crazy if you could have like if I had like a wax museum of
Starting point is 00:50:15 guys you fine yeah that would be crazy yeah I don't know maybe you should just draw them on a piece of paper for us to bring it in
Starting point is 00:50:23 you should give us a drawing. I could. I could. Oh, my God. Like a drawing of Disney princesses, but of just like the gentleman. Yeah. Then you could frame it. American boy dolls.
Starting point is 00:50:34 It could be. But if you could walk people through, what is this? Whoa. In the face with one. Wow. Dope as hell. You guys want to talk about Sass's socks? They are ruining the entire outfit.
Starting point is 00:50:47 These are actually a sponsor. No, I'm just saying the color. You have a really cool Normcore thing going on. Yes. And then we get down to the socks and wham, bam. Oh, man. Good God. They do look very comfortable.
Starting point is 00:50:59 What are those made of? Cookie Monster? These are my flyest socks. That color's very in for fall, by the way. Oh, yeah. It is? It says, ooh. Lots of color.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Where is it on you, Kim? For the fall? Yeah, no, for fall, it looks like spring. I'm like, am I at the right store? Seriously, everything is bright. I love it. I believe it. I talked to a guy over at Men's Warehouse.
Starting point is 00:51:19 I said, what's in right now? And he said, you're going to want a pair of teal socks. You at the Men's Warehouse? Teal socks. I think those are turquoise. What color do you you're going to want a pair of teal socks. You got to get teal socks. I think those are turquoise. What color do you think that is? He said they were teal. I think those are pretty similar colors, right?
Starting point is 00:51:32 That's like cotton candy. Turquoise and teal? What's the difference? What the hell is the difference? It better not be turquoise because I asked for teal. I think turquoise is more of a blue-green. Can we get a... TJ, can you help us here?
Starting point is 00:51:43 I don't know what... Yeah, okay. Here we go. Out of a bitch is turqu we go it's a big motherfucker wait a minute actually no that's gonna be a version of blue then if you're gonna call that turquoise i'm thinking of a blue this might be like aquamarine what color is cookie monster now these are definitely turquoise i would say teal this is really when you showed them on the screen they look right i. I just saw a rare color, and I was like, no way. I know them all. And then I was like, yeah, that is a rare color.
Starting point is 00:52:11 It's reflecting pond. Reflecting pond. Is this a paint color? It's a different shade of blue that you've never seen before. Or maybe you have, but you never acknowledged it. Oh. They're finding ways to make new blends and colors that are shocking to me. I've seen a couple
Starting point is 00:52:26 of new colors this fall. You've seen new colors? I've seen new colors. He's got more cones than us. Yeah. A lot of rods. I think that we just didn't have access
Starting point is 00:52:35 to the colors as far as printing them on clothing. Oh. I think that we've been able to die close that color. Oh, that's pretty. That'd be a really pretty car.
Starting point is 00:52:43 I saw the interior of a home. Yeah, I was about to say the paint reflected upon. Oh, that's pretty. That'd be a really pretty car. I saw the interior of a home. Yeah, I was about to say. Paint it, reflect upon. An accent wall or something. Accent walls, you can go, you could choose any color you want nowadays. Well, that like super black is really cool too. That black paint that makes stuff like disappear.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Venta black? Yeah, like vector black or something or venta black, yeah. What's the Pantone color of the year for 2022? Corn meal. Is it actually? the year for 2022? Corn meal. Is it actually? I don't know. Corn meal. Sass and I were talking about yesterday how white people shouldn't wear yellow.
Starting point is 00:53:12 They shouldn't. Red. And I'll even add probably orange to that. But actually, I have some orange. Why red? I look terrible in red. Lauren and I were both rocking red yesterday, and we were flashy. Yeah, I saw a picture of you two.
Starting point is 00:53:24 It looked planned. Are you a winter or a summer? rocking red yesterday and we were flashy yeah i saw the picture of you two it was like it looked planned yeah well it was winter or summer have you ever gotten the color test done no i only wear gray navy or black as a man well have you seen that we hold up like a bunch of different colors in front of you you've seen this the fashion merchandising and there's warm colors and there's cool colors and you hold them up and everybody looks at you and judges whether you look like shit or not with this certain color and then they figure out whether you're a winter or a summer and that's how you start picking your clothes colors that look good on you and your makeup i think you're a winter no you're kind of gold oh no he he's you think
Starting point is 00:53:56 oh you're kidding no i have no idea he has got cool he cool tones right cool tones, right? Cool tones. Yeah. But a golden beard. Look at him. Oh, yeah. With Tony. I got to see that head shaved. Yeah. I got to know what that skull looks like. I have a mole right on the top of my head that my barbers have nicked every time I get a haircut. So it is just looking like Edward Scissorhands' face.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Maybe you should get that removed. Yeah. Then he'd have to shave his head to get down to it. He might end up saving my life. Oh, actually, good green. You do, see? I think you are a winter. We are going to like you when you're angry. You look great green.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I think my head shape is weird, too, because my hats naturally tilt. They tilt back? All aboard. From side, did they tilt back or side to side? To the right. Yeah. But I don't mean it.
Starting point is 00:54:52 I don't mean it for it to me. You don't mean nothing by it. I don't mean nothing by it. How did you stay strong while you were in New Orleans? Because obviously you didn't slack on the gym and you got your macros in. Planet Fit. Oh, did you see my... What?
Starting point is 00:55:06 Oh, my God. I tweeted at Planet Fitness because they didn't open in time. Did you? I immediately felt like such a douchebag. I didn't see that. Did you delete it or still have it? No, they DMed me.
Starting point is 00:55:17 They contacted the staff and they probably got fired. Oh, no. Two likes? Two likes, dude? Like 300,000 followers. That's almost impossible to do. Two likes is so hard to do.
Starting point is 00:55:34 No, this wasn't for clout. I was so mad. I Ubered there, and it says 7 a.m., and everyone else was mad, too. We're in a pretty rough part of town. We were in a bad area. What part of town did you stay in? Not a touristy spot. It looked war-torn.
Starting point is 00:55:53 It looked gusty. I saw a tumbleweed. There's so many nice parts of town. Yeah, we did not stay in that. Gardens and shit like that? The Garden District? That's just beautiful. Yeah, it was
Starting point is 00:56:05 damn over there but so what you just waited until they opened i ubered to the another one oh no did you see when noise been on his uh he's noise yeah he's been on he's testing new waters he's infiltrated uh hip party b replies black. Black Twitter came at it. His dad is also like a personality. His dad's like a Twitter personality. He has a lot of followers, but he trolls people. As earnest as you are and honest, his dad is as disingenuous. That's fair. You guys are the most...
Starting point is 00:56:39 That's what I grew up on, and I kind of just thought that was the norm. How adults are. Yeah, because that was my... People think Win that was the norm. How adults are. Yeah. People think Winnowee is you. That was my father figure. I just thought like I was just always being normal. Oh no. When did you figure out that you weren't? People would start just laughing at me even though I wasn't trying to be funny.
Starting point is 00:56:58 My first day of college wrestling, we did like the big meetup where we all go around and say who you are, where you're from. And I was just like, Kyle, I'm from West Virginia. And everyone started cracking up. And then I was just like, yeah, I guess that's who I am.
Starting point is 00:57:15 And then I was just stuck with that role. Like I'm just comedically weird. Not weird, comedically gifted. Gifted. It was tough because you don't want to be your normal self and still get laughed at. So then you have to combat that. I'll never be normal again now.
Starting point is 00:57:35 So how did you combat that? I'm just not acting normal in social situations. Oh, really? Have you had any counseling for this? No, because I didn't know what mental health was. You do now. Yeah, you do now. You have no excuse now.
Starting point is 00:57:52 You seem normal to me. Sometimes. Thank you. Sometimes. No, you do. And other times you'll punch through things, you know what I mean, which is also cool. Right.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Roan, do you think you could scratch, like give it a Wolverine-like? Can you give the Monster Energy logo down the painting? I don't think I can. I'm worried that it would tear these off. Like it would pull back too much on the nails. It definitely would. They're just stick on.
Starting point is 00:58:14 I'm really scared of ripping them back. Yeah, it's like I don't want to rip my whole nail off. How long do you have to wear those? For the week. Woo! I'm going to say it. No, you don't. I love that.
Starting point is 00:58:26 He's being punished. He has to follow through with his punishment. Yeah, but he's been a good day. He's on his best behavior. No. I'll allow it. I've been behaving super hard.
Starting point is 00:58:35 I've been behaving well. But you need to be punished. I still want to go through my punishment of going out to a delicious meal, which I would have loved to go out to with any of you, but it didn't land on any of you. One of the things I threw on the wheel was that I have to go out to a nice meal with Stephen Shea, Big Cat, and Nate, but they just refused to do their punishment of going out to Le Bernardin.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Have you ever heard of it? I think from you. Oh, we've talked about this before. Well, I'm glad I could remind you again. Yes, thank you. I just want to sow that into your memory. I still have not been there. You're supposed to come to Brooklyn and go to the River Cafe.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Oh, I have been to the River Cafe. You have been there? Yes. How did you find it? Did you like it? Yes, I did like it. It's a great view? Yes, great view.
Starting point is 00:59:21 It's true fine dining. Yes. Do you like fine dining? Or do you like night? I like true fine dining if the food is good yeah yeah you know what i'm talking about the difference between like fine dining in a nice restaurant yeah like a white tablecloth and they always come over with the yeah with the little scraper and get the breadcrumbs off yeah yeah do you enjoy that or no yeah yeah the surface is good yeah i i, yeah. Do you enjoy that or no? Yeah. The surface is good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:48 I would assume you enjoy it because you're a high-class individual, but I just wanted to expose everybody in here to some fine dining. What are your thoughts on wearing shorts on a plane? I think shorts on a plane, for a guy? I guess for anyone. Yeah, I think shorts on the plane are fine,
Starting point is 01:00:03 as long as when you sit down, they don't like go too high. Someone tweeted at Jeff or somebody that it was just like a gross move. That's ridiculous. Then I Twitter searched the phrase shorts on a plane and there's a bunch of people saying how disgusting it is.
Starting point is 01:00:20 There's a lot of plane etiquette hardos. They say, that is ours. I was livid. What, because you didn't want somebody else's skin touching the seat? There's a lot of plain etiquette hardos. They say, that is ours. And I was livid. Who? What, because you didn't want somebody else's skin touching the seat? Yeah, I think that's it. I don't know. I think it's like the gym seat mentality.
Starting point is 01:00:32 People are disgusted by thighs as well. They're disgusted by that? I don't know. These are people who have never swam in a lake. Maybe. They should also say, don't put your head against the back of the seat, because that grosses me out. What?
Starting point is 01:00:46 Oh, because of the grease? You've got to have a lot of self-control to not do that. No, no, I'm kidding. I mean, you have to, but if you're going to worry about someone's legs touching a seat, what about their head that may have lice? Actually, I'm kind of on board now because I don't want somebody else's legs touching my legs. Wearing shorts on a plane is repulsive? These aren't duds. They're getting action. I don't want somebody else's legs wearing shorts on a plane is repulsive. These aren't duds. They're getting action.
Starting point is 01:01:08 I don't love shorts on a plane. I wore shorts on a plane yesterday. I wear shorts on a plane most times I fly. My husband does too, but his are longer shorts. He's got stems. He's got incredible legs. Stems? He has incredible stems. Oh my gosh. I think he does too.
Starting point is 01:01:23 I really think he does. You know what, Fraze? I was searching on Twitter yesterday, hunched over the sink. Oh. What were you looking for? I mean, I was just thinking about how dining is just like a mating ritual. And if men just had their druthers, they would eat every meal as like a rotisserie chicken hunched over the sink. I eat almost every meal hunched over the counter. That's the food never tastes better.
Starting point is 01:01:51 When you can't even wait to walk five feet to a chair or a table, you just eat it over the counter. Or like if it's super messy, like one of the most associated foods with hunched over the sink was grated cheese. Like a ton of people are tweeting about eating grated cheese hunched over the sink. Huh. Just grated cheese by itself? Oh, yeah, that's when I would do it. Shredded cheese hunched over the sink. Yeah, because eating shredded cheese, it's going to escape your grasp no matter what.
Starting point is 01:02:17 So if you hunch over the sink. Look at that. If you naturally hunch over. And look at the numbies. I mean, it's pretty good. The numbies are pretty good. Ron, I thought you were trying to get me to type porn into the Twitter machine on the stream there. I thought you were baiting me.
Starting point is 01:02:28 No, brother. I actually was searching hunched over the sink. Look at the other replies. It's a lot of cheese, cheese hunchers. We got an incredible Mince hot mic. Or Fasoli did. He did? Yeah, we were filming with the TikTok guy, Stale Cracker.
Starting point is 01:02:45 And Mince left to go to the bathroom, I guess, still with the mic on. Oh, no, no. Confessed to a murder. I think he was brushing his teeth in this warehouse bathroom, and then he was slurping the water. Oh, no. No, he was rinsing his mouth.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Yeah. So it was ultimately a clean move. We just heard it all live. Fasoli did. I hope these boys are having a good time. What was the top Fasoli-isms? Fasoli can't read. He can't read.
Starting point is 01:03:17 I actually feel increasingly bad about making fun of that. I do too. I don't even want to bring up what I heard him say under his breath. He just looks at the words and sees a few of the letters. Yep. We were watching Red Zone in the car, and Bengals running back Samaj P. Ryan got a touchdown. Was on mute.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Receiving. And the name popped up on screen. Well, in his defense, that's a tough name. Right, but Fasoli just goes, fucking St. Peter. That's what I'm saying. Samaj P. Ryan. None of the same words. He looks strong in there. He looks great there.
Starting point is 01:03:53 Nice little hats. Yeah, look at that smile. My boy's shining. Creates his own shade. I did get some of his saliva and sent it off to 23andMe. He is 100% Sri Lankan. Oh, so he's not Italian at all? He's not Italian at all.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Oh. Really? Yeah. There must have been some sort of mishap. Or maybe they just immigrated from Sri Lanka to Italy. Italy. His entire bloodline, maybe. And they just kept on breeding within the Sri Lankan community.
Starting point is 01:04:26 Yeah. For however long. Fascinating. I learned that there's like a big Middle Eastern Christian population in Detroit. I'd never known that before. No, that's interesting. There's a ton of Middle Eastern dudes, but none of them are Muslim. Or most of them are Christian. Maybe a couple of Muslims. I used to go to Lebanese mass.
Starting point is 01:04:43 It went faster and they spoke in Lebanese you didn't understand a word they said really yeah I guess it's like Greek Orthodox but I guess
Starting point is 01:04:50 I remember I got called up for the homily to play like a role and I was they acted I was in 8th grade but I looked like a 4th grader
Starting point is 01:05:01 so you thought you were like he was calling up a young boy Lebanese church was right next to the Catholic church. You guys just went because it was shorter? I bet the bread was there.
Starting point is 01:05:09 The ultimate was the hospital. You would go there, it was 15 minutes. No, I went to the Jesuit colleges. It was 10 minute mass. Oh, Jesuits was maybe the wrong one. Oh, I would go and you just get communion and leave.
Starting point is 01:05:25 At the Newman Center? Not the Newman Center. Oh, I guess, is St. John Newman Jesuit? He might have been Franciscan. Damn. Every now and then when I was messing up at school enough, I'd head over to the Newman Center for a mass. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:05:38 And be like, all right, I can start being a dumb bitch again as soon as I left. Slate is clean, I can start fresh. That is great. Yeah, I didn't go to a lot of church. Trying to draw out of your flask. Dump my RoboTussin in the no more RoboTripping today.
Starting point is 01:05:52 We used to go to like the family mass and it was like an hour and a half. And they'd make all the kids come up and like sit in a circle. Yeah I used to go to one where there was like a separate kids portion of it like in the back. Yeah. They talked adult themes I I guess, at church. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:06:07 It sucked. Barring torture, what is the slowest time goes? What type of event or situation? Mass when your kid is up there. A long drive. Drives felt so long as a kid. Driving from Philadelphia to New York. Yeah, or to the beach.
Starting point is 01:06:24 A two-hour drive might as well have been a week. I was an Philadelphia to New York. Yeah, or to the beach. Like a two-hour drive might as well have been a week. I was an altar server and I remember in middle school around Easter time you had to keep like, there was like a 24-hour vigil the altar service
Starting point is 01:06:34 had to keep at the altar. So you were put on two-hour chunks. And so you're in like seventh grade and you're kneeling just alone for two hours in silence.
Starting point is 01:06:42 That's crazy. Every two seconds I was like, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna fucking die. That's so bad. Yeah like so bad it was terrible kim what do you think what's the slowest time goes what's like a really slow i guess when you're an adult you can kind of control time more but as a child you're really a slave to time going to the dentist oh just sitting in a chair i'm like it was like torture yeah just felt like hours you guys ever take ever take like a three and a half hour class in college that was like that?
Starting point is 01:07:09 Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was like, what the fuck is happening? Mm-hmm. It was so long. Must be hell for the professor, too. Just to be like talking. He knows after 45 minutes everyone's checked out.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now that everyone has laptops and phones, too. Yeah. When I was in school, all my classes were like, I scheduled them, so they were all once a week. So I had multiple of those classes. And it was just hell. Don't you think everyone's just sitting there doing their grocery list or whatever the hell you all do in college?
Starting point is 01:07:35 No, because then they would be like, no laptops. It's a college thing, yeah. Everyone loves to. How are they going to know what you're doing? Oh, they got technology for that now. I don't know if they do. They don't do this in college, but when I was in high school, we all got laptops and they had some program where the teacher could see
Starting point is 01:07:51 what everyone was doing on their laptops. And they would ban certain websites and stuff. They could lock your screen on a presentation. Probably ban Barstool. Oh, big time. That's creepy. My dad teaches in college. He teaches physics or whatever and when i was
Starting point is 01:08:05 in college i like uh i cheated all the time on all my tests but then when i graduated from college i go out to dinner with my dad once a week and he would like bring up these problems like people are like cheating on my test and i would like tell him the ways that i had used to cheat i was like a i was like a flipped like informant. Yeah, you were a rat. I was like a reformant being like, yeah, you got to watch out for like the inside of the water bottle or something like that.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Inside of the water bottle. I felt like I was a fucking in the CIA. Yeah, the inside of the water bottle was genius. I was so sick. Or you like roll it up and put it in a pen or something like that. You like roll it around the inside of the pen and shit. Water bottle was the coolest I've ever felt. How do you do it in a pen or something like that you like roll it around the inside of the pen shit water bottle was the coolest i've ever felt how do you do it in a water bottle you put it so like you
Starting point is 01:08:49 know how like a in like a poland springs water bottle something there'll be like the seal around it you take that out and you write it on that and then you put it back on and then you drink your water so you can see inside of the water bottle and you like twist it around you can see all the answers in there wow yeah's the ultimate cheating move. It's impossible to get caught. That's a very good one. I would cheat by memorizing what the material was.
Starting point is 01:09:15 I would just memorize it all. I felt so guilty. Imagine if you got caught doing that. The fuck is this this nick in my office how did you do how did you memorize all this well i read it over and over and i made some mnemonic devices for weeks i worked on it you're out of here you know you guys ever get in trouble
Starting point is 01:09:40 for like plagiarism or anything in college no i got i got enough big i almost got like tossed well that was quick it's like that turn it in.com or you could run run your six months what you out of have been damn near word for word plagiarizing i didn't think i genuinely was like shocked because i was like i didn't plagiarize shit and it was like a philosophy class and it was like i guess my answers were just like too close to the right answer because it's like it's all supposed to be like opinionated but i was like looking up other people's opinions and be like that makes sense and then i'd be like okay but it's like oh and it was like and then they called me in and they were like yeah this is
Starting point is 01:10:18 uh plagiarized and i like bought like the grammarly like teacher one so i put my thing through and it was like zero percent and then she brought she put my thing through and it was like zero percent and then she brought she had some other shit and it was like it was like 90 plagiarized and i was like holy fuck oh no test they made me read they had to redo the it was a final too wow yeah i had to redo the whole thing kim you never cheated in school i wish i had i know right i wonder why i bet boys cheat more than girls don't you think yeah maybe i don't know i wouldn't cheat but when it came time for my parents to have to sign my failure notices i would plagiarize their signatures all the time and just hope blindly i got in trouble every time it
Starting point is 01:10:56 got figured out but every single year i was like maybe this is the year they don't check and like yeah yeah i got caught for that too i didn't but I like, if you missed a day of school, like if you missed a test, there was a side room where you had to do the test. And it was World Capitals. And I missed school on purpose and I went to the side room because there was just a fucking map. Wise culture. That side room.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Have you ever had a situation where you're you're in a situation where you can cheat, and then you try to, and you're like, I can't find the answers? Yeah. Yeah. That happened to me with a math final, and I'm looking up the answers, and just nothing is coming up. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck do I do? And I end up bombing the test, but that was tough.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Yeah. Anything to not learn the material, though? Oh, yeah. Anything to avoid learning? I mean, math that was tough. Yeah, anything to not learn the material, though? Oh, yeah. Anything to avoid learning? I mean, math? Math sucks. Yeah, if you're not cheating, you're not trying, right? Isn't that what they...
Starting point is 01:11:51 Cheaters have higher GPAs? Fucking duh. Duh. Cheers. 95% don't get caught. Well, did you guys have... Like, if you were sick or whatever, did your parents write a note and send it with you? Or was it different?
Starting point is 01:12:06 Like did you guys have it computerized or did they have to call in? I had to have like a doctor's note. Yeah. Oh, you did? In high school too? No. No, just in college. Oh, no, younger.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Like middle school. Really? Interesting. I like never missed school, but we had, yeah, there was like a doctor's note. You seem like a truant. Like you seem like you missed a lot of school. No, I never. I missed probably like three days of high school total.
Starting point is 01:12:30 Wow. Yeah, I was never sick, which is surprising because I'm always sick now. But I remember kids in senior year, you could use college visits. And we lived near a community college. People would just go there, get the thing, and then miss school. It was pretty smart. We used to skip, and I don't know how I didn't get caught. We would take the train to South Street and think we were so cool,
Starting point is 01:12:50 walking around South Street, going in the head shops and stuff. And then we would go to Shady Maple. Have you ever been there, Ron? What's Shady Maple? In Lancaster. In Lancaster. They have incredible cheese samples. They do.
Starting point is 01:12:59 It's like a Walmart-sized smorgasbord buffet. So instead of skipping school and doing something bad, we would skip school and go to this Amish buffet. Which kind of seems like a field trip. It was awesome. Yeah, it was amazing. They had slushy machines just that anyone could go up to
Starting point is 01:13:15 and you could make your own. It was great. Anyway, story by me. Field trips are pretty interesting. We should do a field trip. Yeah. That'd be sweet. That'd be really sweet. Educational. What would you want
Starting point is 01:13:30 it to be? What would you want to go see? I'd want to, uh, Tenement Museum in the Lower East Side. Yeah, that wouldn't be bad. That's where I went on a field trip when I was a youth. Maybe to see the Liberty Bell down in Philadelphia. I'd like that. Maybe you could see it while you're down in Philly for the dozen.
Starting point is 01:13:46 The dozen. That's coming up soon. You've got to buy tickets for this. The one, two, four, and five ranked teams, I believe. How much do you think the Liberty Bell weighs? Probably like 1,500 pounds. Is it underwhelming? I think it's one ton.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Yes, so underwhelming. We went to Plymouth Rock and that shit was whack. I just saw tweets about it. Really? It's just like a It's a little tiny stone. Yeah, that's dumb. It's like in like a
Starting point is 01:14:12 under, little like it's like, what is it? Like six feet under the ground probably. Yeah, but you're like way above it and there's like a huge crack down the middle
Starting point is 01:14:18 because teens blew it up. Oh, that's why it's cracked. Yeah. That's kind of funny. I didn't even know that. I can't believe they got excited about it. What were you saying, Owen?
Starting point is 01:14:26 I was saying I walked to the Liberty Bell with my mom when I was little, when my dad was working there. And we saw a man with no arms or legs, and he was butt naked. Homeless man. No way. I've never seen that in person. How's he going to get dressed? Yeah, where's he going to put the clothes? Someone just drop him off there.
Starting point is 01:14:41 What's his pants say? How does he even get there? How does he get there? Cops just move him. He rolled. Someone just picks him off there. What's his pants say? How does he even get there? Cops just move him. He rolled. Someone just picks him up once a day and places him somewhere else. What does he wear though?
Starting point is 01:14:50 Because arms and legs, you need, pants only work with legs. Well, he needs a helper to get him dressed too. Maybe a pillowcase. Pillowcase or like one of those
Starting point is 01:14:59 burlap sack. Book covers. Snuggie and a staple. Reusable books. Someone just carry him around like a football. Naked, bro. On your beanie. A snuggie and a staple. A reusable book. Someone just carry him around like a football. Naked, bro. On your beanie. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:11 But he had a penis. Yeah. Was he just dragging it? No, he wasn't moving much. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Image always stuck with me. I bet it did. That definitely makes sense.
Starting point is 01:15:24 It may stick with me now. I had a Philly image that stuck with me. I bet it did. That definitely makes sense. It may stick with me now. Yeah. I had a Philly image that stuck with me. It was, he must have been, I don't know if he was one-armed or no-armed, but I think it was a one, I think, no, it might have been a no-armed man trying to light a cigarette with a match or something like that, sitting on the bench in Philly. He lost his legs. With his feet?
Starting point is 01:15:42 No, he had something, he had the match. Between the... He had something between his something, he had the match between his, he had something between his knees and he had the cigarette in his mouth, but I'm trying to remember how he was ripping the match.
Starting point is 01:15:51 Maybe he was a one-armed man. Oh, I guess that'd be less exciting than seeing a no-armed man. I think it would be easier as a no-armed man to use a match than a lighter though.
Starting point is 01:16:00 Right? What? Yeah, probably. Ah, no, because if you, you could probably place it and step on
Starting point is 01:16:06 it anybody got any fun facts about matches and lighters inventions did you know the lighter was invented before the match roan is that right yeah also wait didn't ld light a cigarette with his toes on this show he did he did oh ld he did that easily yeah or easily yeah I don't know how it came up it's the LD he used to like matches by like you know you flip the book and then you just pull it out
Starting point is 01:16:30 you know that way to do it that was cool so I was in my boyfriend's car in high school and I was doing that I was flipping it flipping it and then
Starting point is 01:16:37 every now and then he was like 35 yeah and he he's your English teacher he I flipped it and sometimes it burns right through to your fingers and I went ah and I threw it in the back seat like he I flipped it and sometimes it burns
Starting point is 01:16:45 right through to your fingers and I went ah and I threw it in the back seat like ah I didn't think about it and like we're 10 minutes down the highway when all of a sudden
Starting point is 01:16:51 we smell burning and I lit the back of his car on fire amazing did he dump you? no what an idiot last night
Starting point is 01:17:00 Dukes we were just sitting in the living room and Dukes went and got food and there was like a candle burning like on our table and he just put the paper bag next to the candle and it like went up in flames and then he put it out
Starting point is 01:17:11 and he just put it in the exact same spot. We were like Dukes what are you doing? He's like I don't know. End up I don't know. It straight up just like abrupted it like exploded into flames. Abrupted into flames. Are you guys gonna move
Starting point is 01:17:25 uh I think so there's talks of trying to maybe break the lease early yeah because we have it until a long time we're real excited about the 16 months when we hopped on did you know there's an infestation
Starting point is 01:17:42 what about just getting a terminator that seems like a bit much you think Did you know there's an infestation? What about just getting a Terminator? That seems like a bit much. You think? Okay, an ex-Terminator then. Former Terminator. Yeah, former Terminator. I mean, we've asked. Zah sent me a really good mousetrap that he builds, right?
Starting point is 01:18:04 Yeah, I used to make them in college. What? I lived in a shitty-ass apartment that was nice. In Tampa? Yeah. So it's pretty much a bucket of water. So you get a bucket of water, you fill it
Starting point is 01:18:20 halfway, then drill two holes on the end. You get a little rod that can spin. You get a little rod that can spin. You make a little suspension bridge kind of thing, so across like this, across the thingy, this can spin around. Put peanut butter in the middle. They walk up
Starting point is 01:18:36 the ramp as they go. This flips them into the water dead. I mean, they slowly drown. They drown to death. Except we'd wake up with Dukes in the pocket. Yeah. He loves peanut butter. Put those sticky traps.
Starting point is 01:18:50 Dukes would fall for most traps. We used to have, in Afghanistan, there was just mice everywhere. All over your stuff at night. You could feel them running over your sleeping bag. They were everywhere. Why didn't you guys get an exterminator? We should have gotten a terminator. That's what we should have done. but we would take like somebody had gotten
Starting point is 01:19:07 sent a big bucket of cheese balls so then we would create different because you have nothing but time on your hands like after the day is done and so we would create like elaborate bridges you guys are killing machines to get the mice to fall into the bucket and it became this fun game like anybody like who could trap the most whatever and then this is fucked up but like because they would have like these small tents with like computers where they would have to keep track with the bigger camps and blah blah so they always had that stuff it gets super cold what do you call it to clear out your keyboard oh the uh yeah yeah like freon yeah then they would freeze the mice and like play baseball with them and like do all kinds of crazy shit or they would like make
Starting point is 01:19:43 them fight each other and make them fight there was like scorpions and like whatever like yeah it was that's my memory we used to i have a picture somewhere on my facebook from camp pendleton they caught a tarantula and this like giant wasp and made them fight each other like what yeah anything the giant wasp wow yeah so holy oddly enough where's how yeah totally but that was for giant wasp wow yeah so holy oddly enough yeah totally but that was for giant wasp just out of boredom it became like a mouse catching game like who could catch the most flies with their fly traps who could catch the most mice with their mouse traps who could like whatever was what was your best uh mouse trap it was the cheeseball bucket with the bridge but i was never super into it because i'm too much of a bleeding heart.
Starting point is 01:20:26 You were at war, Kim. I know. I know. I know. I'm like, save this for the people. Watch out for the mice. Holy shit. Well, I know you guys have the bracket coming in here. Did we do the wheel yet?
Starting point is 01:20:45 Let's do this wheel. Oh, yeah. Did we do the wheel yet? Oh, fuck. Let's do this wheel. Oh, no. Oh, my days. Dry. Go. Za. Yizzer.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Carmen Electra. Bro, that was. What? Carmen Electra followed Za. No way. Yes. All right, we're going to get a little TMI here, but as far as I remember,
Starting point is 01:21:12 that was the first time I ever busted, man. I have a special bond with that lady, bro. That is crazy. It was something else. Why did she follow you? So I tweeted about her last week sometime. I forgot what it was in regards. It actually was along those lines, I think. Was it?
Starting point is 01:21:27 Yeah. I literally just woke up. The hashtag first time I busted was trending. Yeah. She's great. She was on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or something like that. Remember when she was married to Dave Navarro? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:41 The guitarist of Jane's Addiction, right? Chili Peppers for a little bit. Chili Peppers. And what's his face? The basketball guy. Yeah. The guitarist of Jane's Addiction, right? Chili Peppers for a little bit. Chili Peppers. And what's his face? The basketball guy. Yeah, that's... Oh. Dennis Rodman.
Starting point is 01:21:50 Dennis Rodman. And now she follows you, Zai. You could be the next one. Yeah, no, it's crazy. But growing up, it was her, it was her, Nia Long, and Megan Good. That's my power three. Dude, poor Nia Long.
Starting point is 01:22:01 Honorable mention to Pamela Anderson, but them three were there. That's the big three. Zai, did you see Nia Long's husband has been cheating on her? Anderson, but them three were there. That's the big three. Did you see Nia Long's husband has been cheating on her? Bro, how do you do that? That's crazy. Well, same with Emily Radijakowski. What's her face?
Starting point is 01:22:14 It's Nia Long. Okay. It's Nia Long. How do you do that? I don't know. Exactly. I don't know. He was living.
Starting point is 01:22:22 They had a 10-year-old together. For shame. Damn, congratulations, huh? Yeah. Thank you. Big moment. Big moment. exactly he was living they had a 10 year old together for shame damn congratulations huh yeah thank you big moment big moment i know it's probably like her assistant that clicked on it still a huge moment no no it's her that's fantastic news um dude well thank thank you guys great show breast cancer merch oh yeah oh yeah yeah what's good with the breast cancer merch there is a ton of new breast cancer merch in the store all 100 of the net proceeds go to pink aid which does a ton of amazing work helping out women and their families who are going through breast cancer treatment both financially um all sorts of critical aid they do super important really
Starting point is 01:22:59 wonderful work um and work that you can like actually see if you go to their website and check them out here is one of the sweatshirts which I love you're the tits it's very subtle and very cute so people will lean in and say what does that say and it says you're the tits and they'll say oh that's cute and you can say it's for a good cause 10% off right now promo code kate by the way there's a ton of merch in the store both men and and women. They have dad hats. There's Pink Whitney merch. There's all kinds of stuff in the store. There's like I'd say like 20 different items in the store right now that you can use to support Pink
Starting point is 01:23:32 8. But if they use their promo code on this merch, does that mean they pay less for it and so we give less to charity? Yeah, that's right. Either way. But whatever you want to do, there's a lot of good fit. But definitely. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that.
Starting point is 01:23:48 Part of my take is trying to take me down. I refuse. All of them together. I refuse. So huge shout out to everybody who has used the promo code. I know a huge part of it is because of this show. So thank you to all the yakkers out there. The whole entire part of my take team winning would be capitalism.
Starting point is 01:24:05 Yeah, that would be capitalism. That would be capitalism. It would be so ad-richer. They're at least taking two of the spots. You can't give any of the money to that nasty woman that came in here. Nasty woman? She's an artist. She literally assaulted Sash. I take back what I said. I'm going to start rooting
Starting point is 01:24:21 for the part of my take boys. Did you consent to your boner? Oh, God, no. I forget you what I said. I'm going to start rooting for the part of my tape boys. No. Did you consent to your boner? Oh, God, no. Kim, I forget you're in here. I did feel bad about that. I'm sorry, guys. No, it really was not a big deal. I cried for like 30 minutes.
Starting point is 01:24:40 That's why I felt bad was the crying afterwards. It was fine, though. It was the whole thing. Use the promo codes. Listen to Mother Knows Best. Yeah. Make this seasonal cocktail. And get your son of a boy dad today.
Starting point is 01:24:54 Let's go. New episode of Zero Buck 30 is out. Zero Buck 30 finale of this season of Rediscovering America is coming out very soon. KB has a new show that he's been working on. You want to tell us anything about it, KB?
Starting point is 01:25:08 Not yet. I have the graphic. Do you want to talk about it? Just flash it really quick. Are we for real announcing it? Yeah, yeah. Just flash it quick. Oh my god. Someone screenshot that.
Starting point is 01:25:24 Someone screenshot that Someone screenshot that But yeah be excited for some new solo KB content He is gonna be Taking the world by storm Just the country Taking the country by storm KB no swag One man's journey
Starting point is 01:25:39 Ladies and gentlemen next Barstool reality show It's tight as pussy USA. We're working on titles. All right, folks. That's the show. Thanks, everyone. Get your mammograms. Fellas too It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act.
Starting point is 01:26:28 It's the act.

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