The Yak - Owen Has a Life-Changing Announcement | The Yak 10-10-22
Episode Date: October 10, 2022Shoutout Baby BoyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Whoa!
Brandon's back!
Hey! Alright, yo. You lost back. Hey.
All right, yo.
You lost weight?
Yeah.
You're on the grief diet.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
You have been a glutton for that.
Just really shitty things happen in your life, and you lose weight because you can't stomach eating.
Turns out when shit goes terrible your entire year, you just don't want to eat.
It's a healthy
process yeah i think you could sell this diet yeah it's actually gary v would be perfect
salesperson yeah i'll come in and kill your whole family you'll never want to eat again
several murder charges yeah that's fucked up kind of
i felt awful for you
but then I saw you
and I was like
alright
yeah that's good
your boy is cut
he looks fucking good
I did this last year
when I got COVID
I lost like 12 pounds
I said well I'll just
roll into a diet
and for three months
I kept it up
now I got the grief
I'm just gonna roll
into a diet
yeah
I'm just gonna roll
into it
so I haven't
stay sad
today
yeah
yeah
there's sandwiches
right here
I see that.
I don't even want them, do you?
Can't even stomach them.
I don't really want them, but I want them.
It's breaded chicken on bread.
So it sounds like you'd like it.
You would, fat boy.
It really does.
You skinny bastard.
You gluten processing bastard.
I've been very European.
Look at that straw.
Damn.
Throwback.
How was LA?
Oh, yeah, this straw, yeah.
That shit is long.
Yeah, it's shit.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
From downtown.
Damn, thank God we found the wheel, because that was the premise of this show.
We drug that out for-
So long.
Longer than a Lenten season.
Yeah.
That was when it was a radio show, too.
Yeah.
I guess it was.
Very true.
I had no idea what it was.
They couldn't even comprehend it.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's recap some weekends.
How was L.A.?
L.A. was good, dude.
I think that the first episode of the Pat Bev podcast with Roan,
which comes out tomorrow, is going to be really good.
You didn't want to go with Roan?
I did want to,
but I just was worried
that it's going to be
kind of something that's
my introduction to a lot of people.
Yeah.
I mean, you start people up
on the wrong foot,
and I'll be Roan forever.
Ronald Ferone is actually
a pretty strong name.
Yeah.
Ron Ferone?
Yeah.
Yeah, that is nice.
Ron Roan?
That's not bad, buddy.
Nice wispy mustache
Ronald Ferron
Yes dude
In 70's style suits
With a fucking little
Pocket watch
Yeah
Golden pocket watch
That kind of dangles out
But then I went out to
Pittsburgh
And I was out there with Nick
Nick and I went to the outlet malls
And we fucking dropped a bag
You did?
Went to the Tanger outlets
I dropped a bag
At the Levi and Eddie Bauer Outlet.
You're going to see me.
I'm going to be heavy vest this fall.
You had to buy another suitcase just to bring it all back.
I did have to buy another suitcase,
but luckily there was the Tumi Outlet there.
Trumi?
Trumi.
Trumi, yeah, I don't know.
I couldn't say.
I kept saying Tangier.
Yeah, he was calling it the Tangier Outlet.
I was like, dude, we're in Washington, Pennsylvania.
That's tough.
Tanger. When did you. It's a tanger.
When did you guys get back?
Last night.
Wow, what a trip.
What a trip.
The Eagles on the runway as we were leaving.
Did you bring gifts or anything from the outlets?
Last time you went to an outlet, you brought me a braided belt, Roan.
I never wore it.
You brought me a shark tooth necklace?
No.
You never wore it.
Roan had 45 soft pretzel bites.
And they were cold. CT ants? They. You never wore it. Roan had 45 soft pretzel bites. And they were cold.
CT hands?
They were cold as marbles.
What's one thing that surprised you about Pat Bev and the experience that you didn't see coming?
No, no, no, no.
Fuck that.
What about the outlets?
Yeah, let's keep it about Washington, Pennsylvania.
That actually sounds like a real question.
Let's not get too deep here.
The Nike outlets have this, like, it's like a shoe that looks exactly like an Air Force One,
but it's different in, like, the most imperceivable way, and it's, like, $50,
and it's the exact same thing as an Air Force One.
It's the court vision.
Is that what it is?
Nike court vision.
It doesn't have the little metal thing on the front.
But other than that, it looks exactly the same, and it's, if you want to, that's like the purpose of an outlet mall,
so you can go to school and look as fly as the rich kids
without having to drop the bags like the rich kids.
You've got to buy the Court Vision and then go to the display Air Force Ones,
steal the little metal thing.
Yeah, and they'll have no one's any the wiser.
None the wiser.
Victimless crime because those are display shoes anyway.
Yeah, that's the Court Vision.
And then there's the Helly Hansen.
There's the Helly Hansen outlet.
I was going to get some ski stuff,
but I was worried the colors were too bold.
KB, obviously you can pull off a royal blue,
but not all of us can.
Nah, this is tough.
No, you look good.
That's telling the line of cobalt.
Yeah, it might be damn near cobalt.
Okay, answer the Pat Bev question now.
I'm obsessed with just NBA players living.
I know.
I can watch them dap up their TikTok manager for hours.
He was sending me videos of just like...
It's a weird obsession.
NBA teams dapping up their TikTok.
It is pretty flawless because if someone just came up to me like that,
I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?
I was just like watching LeBron meet Victor, whatever his name is.
Just dap him up.
I watched it on repeat for hours.
Yeah, it was awesome.
But it's cool to watch them live.
Pat Bev was pissed that he didn't get dapped up.
That's something I could share.
When Mignogna came and dapped up LeBron, dapped up AD.
No, Pat Bev.
And he didn't.
And he was like, that's all I'm going to need.
When I go against him in the league, I'm going to fucking destroy him.
I'm going to lean on his hamstrings.
When does it come out?
Yeah, can we watch the trailer?
I think there's a couple out.
Drop them tomorrow.
The Pat Bev Podcast with Rome, where we go one-on-one with Pat Bev every week.
Little yak basketball.
Oh, no.
On the grass?
Yeah. You saw the foul, dude. On the grass? Yeah.
You saw the foul, dude.
He fouled me.
Bullshit.
It's a home court advantage, dude.
If this was in Philly, dude, it would be different.
Is it a rental or that's his home?
He paid for that house.
Beautiful.
His pool was too close to his basketball goal.
Can you tell him that next time?
A little bit, yeah.
His pool was right beside.
If it's a long rebound, it's going right into the pool.
No, but it's like you can just jump right in.
It kind of gives you the back and forth.
If you're playing a competitive game, though, you could get pushed into the pool.
I guess that's actually.
He has basketball hoops everywhere.
He had the big rocks with the grass in between,
like the little thin line of grass in between.
No, it was like a synthetic grass.
Oh.
Tell me more about this multiple basketball hoops.
He has multiple basketball hoops. Indops. There's one in the studio.
Yeah, there's one in the...
It's beautifully... Sometimes you go to
a rapper's house and it's bare.
And there's a folding chair
and they have a nice facade to the house.
But Pat Bev,
his house, this is NBA money.
This is beautifully appointed,
interiorly decorated.
It's fantastic.
He has kids, but I think that...
Qualifies as a family.
I'm not sure if they live at that house.
Yeah.
He also said he's considering buying a house on Lake Como,
and he said we should do an episode there.
Italy?
Yeah, in Italy.
I've been to Lake Como.
Oh, shit.
I'm going to have to advise him against it
though.
I think that
No, you can't.
Buying properties
in a different country
how often can you really
It's called a tax haven
my friend.
In Italy?
With their new leader?
Do you think that
Yep.
I feel like it might
not be worth it
as far as
Shit ever goes down?
No, I just don't think
that he'll be able to
he might as well just go to lots of places
and just rent a house.
What about the fucking...
My brain doesn't work on Mondays.
Line.
The filmmaker.
Squishy?
Metaphile.
Oh.
Gotta be more specific.
Woody Allen.
All of them?
All of them.
Weinstein?
No, don't tell...
Blantz? Blantz? Yeah, that's it lance yeah that's it roman plants yeah where's he at
he's in like france or something like you got a house there you just fucking bounce
oh what's in the water in france they're producing unreal specimens in basketball yeah
paris i think it's this uh there's a guy named steve ho you fat oh yeah and that's a guy named Steve Ho You Fat
and that's his real name
well no they actually
I read an article about the
World Cup
when France won the World Cup
they traced a lot of like the success
because the immigration in Paris
like all the country you know like
they had a lot of immigrants and it's a lot
of people who are a lot of immigrants, and it's a lot of people who are children, sons of immigrants.
So not like native Parisians from years and years and years ago won the World Cup.
The entire World Cup roster, or the majority of it, were second generation.
Would it be second generation?
First generation?
Probably.
So, yeah, they're having a renaissance in sports france but a lot of those uh immigrants are from african right yeah that francophone
countries where it's like france went in there and like put their language in that country and
then those people naturally immigrated to france blindsided it yeah they they did blindsided a
whole country the long haul they long haul
blindsided it I mean Steve ho you fat oh you fat yeah that's really his name it's his real name
and I tried to find like a hole in it and I guess that's just there never was a change. It was from the beginning. It's how? How are you fat? Sounds Vietnamese.
It does. It sounds...
You is spelled
differently maybe, but...
Yeah, but Y-O-U is...
Is it like an Indian name?
Swap with Sharif.
Sharif has the one of one.
He doesn't need that much. That's worth millions
probably. There are names out there like that.
Is that the funniest possible combination?
Yes. Ho You Fat
is his last name.
And he's like 34 in the G League.
He's been around.
Ho You Fat.
Sharif O'Neal joked after in a press conference he said he was going to put
the jersey on eBay for $3 million.
It's one of one. It's the one everyone wants.
Do you think Steve
Ho You Fat, do you think he didn't realize how funny his name was until he came to America? I bet it's the one everyone wants is do you think steve ho you fat do you think he didn't realize
how funny his name was till he came to america no i bet it's been his whole life but it's france
like is that yeah maybe not yeah he probably got a taste like some people say a couple random people
hey by the way that's kind of funny then he got to america and everyone's like what how's that I was like, what? How is that possible? That's his Instagram, HoYouFat.
He's so lucky.
Holy shit.
Oh, man.
Hopefully he can profit.
Yeah.
He's not doing well.
Maybe we should do a Barstool exclusive.
HoYouFat?
Merch collab with HoYouFat.
It would be funny if he had just like a very large wife.
Yeah.
Cheering on the sideline.
Oh, no.
Skinny wife, but his like main bitch, his asshole was fat.
There's Mrs. Ho You Fat.
Jeez.
Clapping it up.
And his first name just being Steve is funny. Yeah.
Three E's total.
Two in a row.
It's like Steve will do it.
Yeah.
Steve Ho You Fat.
When a woman takes that name, though.
At the wedding.
Ho You Fat.
Now Mrs. Ho You Fat.
Damn.
Need those.
What you say?
Yeah, that shouldn't be the only option.
Oh, if she keeps her last name, hyphens it like Murphy Ho You Fat.
Oh, my God.
Shit. We had a yak touchdown that was actually sick it was sick he predicted he called his shot he was like I'm gonna throw up the 10x when I score when I score
tomorrow and did and I'm happy that he gave us the heads up because otherwise Grant Cardone would be
getting all this shit he would be getting the runoff. Somebody pointed this out in the comments.
What's actually incredible is that was his first touchdown of the year.
Oh.
So it wasn't like he's scoring every week.
And his name is Hendricks Johnson.
That's a sick name.
Ah, damn.
Rockstar dick.
Oh, he's got the guy.
Everybody doing it.
A little street cred there.
We got other guys doing it.
Yeah, that's good. Shout out Hendricks. Hend hendrix johnson big shout out did you see the clip did you see how
fast he is no let's see it you can't watch it down those boys in flagstaff can run you got to put him
you got to put him in your like first round mock where is he oh oh he is fast look at that
separation he's very fast damn way to go Hendrix
he threw it up right away
right away
dude it's something
that people automatically
throw back at you
you have to do it
it feels natural
it's like we were
doing it in Philly
shout out to us
for winning
the dozen
thank you Brandon
for congratulating
asterisk
Brandon did you
watch it back
how would you
have performed
couldn't watch it
well I did I did demand that Jeff send me the questions so I would go through I would have Asterisk. Brandon, did you watch it back? How would you have performed? Couldn't watch it.
Well, I did demand that Jeff send me the questions so I would go through.
I would have performed very well.
Yeah.
I would have done well.
Yeah, but that's no pressure, though.
That's true. Under the bright lights.
That's true, but I'm a big game player.
I think everybody knows that.
Yeah, you're right.
My history doesn't indicate that.
I was getting Glenny Balls drunk as hell, and I would have tried the same shit on you.
We would have gotten you high.
That would have worked.
I tried to do a shot before we all went out,
and I princess-brided him.
I was like, let me have yours.
And mine was LaCroix.
It was LaCroix.
So I actually had to take a shot.
Nick, yeah, I couldn't get Nick the way I got Glennie Balls,
but that's Nick and that's Glennie Balls.
Well, Nick is sharp.
Glennie is a ball.
Respect to Glennie, though.
I met TJ's parents.
Yeah.
It looked like it went well.
Was there any hiccups?
No.
The only hiccup that I shared, I saved this till right now.
If you see the picture, TJ, I don't know.
Your dad was touching my ass.
Legit touching my ass.
Was it a caress?
Was it a grab?
That's how he kisses.
He was touching my ass.
He was cupping my ass.
Cupping the ass?
He was cupping my ass.
Was it just a cup?
Cupping and cupping are two different things.
It's a family secret.
It was a cup.
It was like a-
Was there pressure?
Was he lifting cheek or was it just fitting the mold?
No, it was kind of fitting the mold.
Just letting you know it's there?
Yeah.
And then TJ's mom passed me her phone number.
Okay.
That was cool.
Just in case.
Went to...
Yep, he's got his hand.
He's cupping my ass in that picture, right?
Oh, your far cheek.
Yeah, far cheek.
Far cheek.
Yeah, he went reverse.
See that? Oh, yeah, the trajectory of the arm is going right to ass cheek yep is it still there there and tj's
dad kissing me mom it's great it was actually very fun there i mean they're wonderful people
beautiful family first family of ruckers went to the r the Rutgers basketball practice and did not see a basket made for 15 minutes.
It was quite something.
They were playing just, they were doing half-court sets.
So it was just like offense, defense, and they would just never score.
And TJ just kept muttering like good defensive team.
But they were like knocking the ball off their knees
like passing it going out of bounds it was a solid i'm not exaggerating tj you can back me up
a 10 minute stretch where they had probably i don't know 20 possessions and not a single ball
went through the hoop a lot of defense it's quite something pretty team did you guys score in la
quicker than rutgers did? Yes, it was.
Yeah, we could dominate Rutgers in basketball.
Big Cat tried to shoot around afterwards, and that took like 15 shots.
I made a couple.
I made a couple.
Before he made one.
I was wearing jeans, dude.
He's shooting jeans.
Yes, totally.
There's some merch in the lobby if anybody wants any.
I thought that was my merch.
Rutgers merch? Hell yeah. Dude, but basketball players are not that good wants any. I thought that was my merch. Rutgers merch?
Hell yeah.
Dude, but basketball players are not that good at basketball.
That's something I definitely learned at Patrick Beverly's house.
Kendrick Perkins is trash.
Patrick Beverly was on that backyard hoop,
and I thought he would make every single shot that he took.
He missed some shots.
I was like, for here in the NBA?
Dude, I can miss shots.
Yeah.
That's what you need.
We got that.
Did you tell him he's not that good?
I'm saving that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I will, though.
But I did tell him I might.
There's a chance I'm better at basketball than him.
I didn't tell him he's not that good.
There is a chance.
If you play in Philly, yeah.
He was talking about he might be a better battle rapper than me.
I was like, dude, then there's a chance that I'm better at NBA than you.
If there's a chance.
You should get him playing some yak basketball.
That'd be great.
He wouldn't know what hit him.
He's got a, yeah, I don't know, we could come up with some rule
where we have to try to get to a certain point.
Blindfold maybe if he's blindfolded.
That'd be good.
Blindfolded yak basketball.
And then we also had, I'll just say this.
Last night, Frank, that was too much.
Frank needs a break from the streams.
Frank does?
I think that's what Clem does.
I was worried about Frank.
Everybody says Clem's such a nice guy.
That's not what I saw.
An absolute bully.
Yeah, he was having... the problem was that when he knew
Frank yelling on stream is one thing but then he was like walking around with no cameras around
just screaming and I was like dude you gotta like you're gonna you're gonna like pass out
you're screaming so much and uh then he kept on screaming he He never loses his voice. I was thinking about that. Never has.
He's so hydrated.
He screams so much.
Not a bit of rasp.
I think he coats the Lego in Ricola.
But no, he doesn't ever.
Maybe he's coming from his diaphragm.
His body mechanics are perfect.
I will say that about him.
He's built to scream.
Every part about his body mechanics are perfect yeah i will say that about built to scream every part
about his body mechanics all of his uh like limbs hinge at the his joints all hinge at the right
point and they work perfectly his ball and socket joints spin at like the full you know scope of of
their range of motion he's a he's a wonder yeah remember he remember in the gaming room He made a cute angle
Yeah
It's insane
I mean that picture
Of him and Clemmer was
Shortstop bend
Every part about him
I think he does yoga
Clemmer and
Clemmer and Frank
Are the perfect ten
Yeah they are
They sit next to each other
They really are
The lowercase b boys
Frank The picture snagged Of him leaving the Mets Lowercase b-boys Frank
The picture snagged of him
Leaving the Mets
The Dolphins game
Yeah
I developed a stutter this morning
By the way
I'm freaking out
I've done it like eight times
That's okay
You guys see there was
You're fine
There was ballot drama
In Fat Bear Week
Yes
Oh we never did
We gotta do Fat Bear Week Let's do it right now There was this drama There was Bear Week? Yes. Oh, we got to do Fat Bear Week.
Let's do it right now.
There was the drama.
Supposedly, there was, yeah.
Ballot stuffing online?
Ballot stuffing.
Yeah.
That's bullshit.
I thought y'all did that.
I thought the Yak did the ballot stuffing because I thought y'all talked about Fat Bear Week.
Should have been us.
No, we shouldn't.
We don't have a favorite, though.
Let's reverse ballot stuff it.
By the way, Sass is coming.
When he gets here, let's just all stay silent and the way sass is coming when he gets here let's
just all stay silent pretend we're gonna start the show yes if he even comes dude he's can't come
he probably can't come he's like pete those are the tweets tweet was so oh we just show that
yeah dude bear week pete pete did come over the top with the perfect tweet on
kevin and clem's face. Did you guys see this?
Sky is blue.
Perfectly summed it up.
Pete was reveling in it.
He was smiling at Rutgers.
Imagine spending six months telling everyone the sky is blue,
only to have a bunch of assholes try to convince everyone the sky is green,
simply because they're tired of the sky being blue.
The sky was always blue.
It was blue yesterday, and it'll be blue tomorrow.
Frank was right.
God damn.
I mean, that's a killer tweet.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
I get that deep down he's a Philly scumbag.
Yeah, he really is.
He's an Eagles fan, like Mets hate and scumbag.
Yeah.
Big old brain.
He was trying to get me to...
Fuck. Fuck. He snuck in. He snuck in. Yeah, we can't go with him. Damn it. He beat us, yeah. Fuck
Fuck yeah
He snuck in
He snuck in
Yeah we can't
Go with him
Damn it
He beat us yeah
Hello Sass
Alright we can start the show
I've been watching the show
Fuck
What did we talk about then?
I don't remember
Riff on one of our games
I was watching
I was watching you guys talk about
Pat Bev
And the podcast
Coming out
I had to tag to one of the jokes then
That's a comic word
Alright let's do Fat Bear Week
Sass how was the
The weekend
Oh yeah
It was good
I'm very very tired right now
I like your hair
I'm over
Extremely
Yeah
Why
Looks like you just had a fun time.
Damn.
But he's here.
Yeah, it sounded like I was texting with Shane yesterday
because he's coming on advisor this week
to just make sure he was good,
and it sounded like getting up for the Bills game
was not the easiest.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was tough.
I threw up at the Bills game. I mean, that's... Yeah. That's middle of the easiest. Yeah. Yeah, it was tough. I threw up at the Bills game.
I mean, that's...
Yeah.
That's middle of the game.
Did you rally?
Did you keep it going for the game in the tailgate?
And then we stayed.
Then we were out until like 2 in the morning.
Oh, shit.
Did you fly back today?
Yeah.
Tass gave me a winner over the weekend.
He gave me Gabe Davis anytime touchdown scorer.
I did.
Damn.
What was that? Why didn't you give that to me? gave me Gabe Davis anytime touchdown scorer. I did. Damn. What was that?
Why didn't you give that to me?
That's 1,000?
I should have gone first touchdown scorer with the way.
I mean, that was beautiful.
99 yards.
I know, yeah.
It was fun.
Did you get there for the beginning of the game?
Yeah.
That was an awesome play.
Yeah.
We actually were not inside when that happened.
We were there.
We were walking in through security, and all of a sudden, everyone starts going crazy.
Worst feeling ever.
Yeah.
It was nice, though, winning your bet before you even get to the game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is nice.
Did you crush?
Yeah, it was fun.
It went well.
Nice.
My plan said you guys killed it.
Yeah.
My plan said it was okay.
Yeah?
Yeah. I was very nervous, but after the first plan said it was okay. Yeah? Yeah.
I was very nervous, but after the first show, it was like a blast, and it was everything.
How big was the place?
I think it was just, it was probably 275.
Your voice deeper?
It got deeper.
It was a little bit deeper.
Nick got a stutter, and your voice got a little bit deeper.
I don't know.
I'm thinking I might be on the verge of death right now.
You gonna throw up again? I might. I was pulling Trig on the verge of death right now. You going to throw up again?
I might.
I was pulling Trigg in the bathroom of the airport.
That would be funny if you threw up on air.
Don't go into the bathroom.
Throw up right now.
I'm not going to throw up.
Son of a boy died on Wednesday this week.
Son of a boy died on Wednesday this week instead of Tuesday.
Wednesday this week.
Yeah.
That is official now.
So did the Mets blow it?
Yeah.
But my thing is
From an outsider
They've lost what like 60 plus games this year
Yeah
And losing two out of a three game series
Is not out of the ordinary at all
No so they blew it
It was a cumulative blow it
From two weeks ago
All they had to do was win one game in Atlanta
And they wouldn't have had to play the Padres They wouldn't have had to do was win one game in Atlanta,
and they wouldn't have had to play the Padres.
They wouldn't have had to play the first weekend.
So they blew it down the stretch,
and then they blew it this weekend.
It was a collapse.
I feel like losing is so commonplace in baseball that it's hard to tell what's blowing it and what's not.
Yeah, winning two out of three is not blowing it,
but it's the fact that they are so close to not even having to be in that spot.
Brandon, did you just hurt yourself?
Yeah, I did, Ron.
Thanks for noticing.
What happened there?
I waved at Pete when he walked by, and then I elbowed this table very hard.
And I'm mad at the table, and I was looking at it.
I was about to jerk it off the thing.
I was going to jerk it off, but I was going to rip it off.
Uh, what?
I was about to be jerked off. I was about to jerk it off. Uh, what? You're going to be jerked off?
I was about to jerk it off.
Let's just, we'll clip that part.
Make you feel better if we're always jerking you off?
No.
Yeah.
Eh.
No, then he wouldn't be grieving if he was nutting.
If he had euphoria of nut.
It's true.
Yeah.
What else happened?
Nothing.
Mets blew it, yeah.
Mets blew it in a bad way.
And we got Cleveland Kyle coming this week.
Yeah, I'm full on the Guardians.
You and Jeff D. Lowe.
Me, Jeff, Burge.
Just going head-on with the Yankees.
It's going to be fun.
Are you going to be going to play?
Baseball is exciting.
Yeah, we're going to stream tomorrow.
Do you have any Cleveland merch that you can wear?
I have the Trevor Bauer Chief Wahoo jersey.
That will play.
Okay.
That's all I got.
That should just be your angle for Indians fans.
You know there's like...
Guardians.
Sorry, Guardians.
You know there's definitely 20% of Guardians fans who are like, they should never have changed the logo. Just be there. It's a cool logo. Be, Guardians. You know there's definitely 20% of Guardians fans
who are like, they should never have changed the logo.
Just be there.
It's a cool logo.
Be their champion.
We should be able to tell.
I haven't watched any Guardians games,
but how many Indian jerseys are still in the crowd?
Right, right.
Probably a lot.
Probably a lot.
Good amount.
I'd be scared if I had a racist team name right now
because the ones that they're replacing the names with suck.
Suck. Commanders. Yeah. Guardians.
Dude, there's so many sweet names
and then like the hive mind just settles
on like a fucking shitty
nothing word. So many untapped
animals. So many animals out there.
Yes. It's insane, yeah. I'm trying to think
of like hippo, dartfish, crinose.
We need to go aquatic.
I mean, we have marlins and dolphins.
Dolphins.
Dolphins.
Beats the whales.
Man of war.
Man of war.
Whoa.
What?
That's a fucking sick name.
Cleveland man of wars.
Child soldiers.
The Cleveland eels.
Electric eels.
Cleveland electric eels.
Like what?
Piranhas.
Commanders.
Dude that's what
they settled on?
Commanders is bad and I don't think that will ever get good.
I don't even commit.
What about dragons?
Yeah.
Why isn't anyone a dragon?
I think UAB.
Drexel is.
Drexel.
I think it's UAB.
Blazers.
I remember Blazers.
High school was dragons.
They have a dragon.
They were?
Yeah, they were the dragons.
Ox him.
Find him.
Find him.
We know what to do.
Find him.
Dragons. Ox him. Find him. Find him. We know what to do. Find him. Yeah, I think the Blackhawks eventually would just have to become the Hawks, which that's
what they, like, you should just become an iteration of.
They're going to have to change their logo, too, I think.
Yeah, like Cleveland should just become like the Native American.
Chicago Hawks works, though.
Yeah.
It works.
I don't know if they'll change, but I don't, the pressure does feel. So who's the Kansas City Chiefs? The Atlanta Braves? Seminoles. Florida. It works. I don't know if they'll change but I don't the pressure does feel
Who's the Kansas City Chiefs
the Atlanta Braves
Seminoles
But Seminoles
I think
I think they want it.
Illini dropped their
mascot logo.
That's right.
And just changed to a big I.
Yeah.
You guys remember
the St. John's one
that wasn't that chill.
Which one was that?
The red man
and he was just Oh jeez. The guy one? That wasn't that chill. Which one was that? The Redman.
Oh, jeez.
The guy from Wu-Tang.
That would be cool.
That would be cool.
The Wu-Tang Redmans?
Or the... UMass or whatever, St. John's Redmans.
UMass Reindeer, wasn't that on Tyler O'Day's list?
Yeah, he's a Twitter guy.
What's wrong with Minuteman? I don't know. I wasn't keen on Tyler O'Day's list. Yeah, he's a Twitter guy. What's wrong with minute man? I
Don't know I wasn't keen to though D castigates the fast-coming clinic as gonna say the Roman swipes
Have made minute men obsolete
That's what Roman them bro eats eat a cutlet cut a little help. Oh you got cutlets. Yeah, you cut
Uh, yeah, there's two of each cutlet style help. Oh, you got cutlets? Yeah, eat a cutlet. Yeah, there's two of each cutlet-style sandwich.
Oh.
Oh.
In case I don't know which one.
I'll dive in with him, too.
Yeah, me too.
Dive in.
I'll do an ad.
About to dive in.
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and joggers i was wearing the joggers all day yesterday they are so comfortable traveled in
them all weekend they're incredible perfect they got a little secret pocket a little sneaky pocket
oh the sneaky pocket see this right here this would never be a problem if you're wearing the joggers
your ass wouldn't be hanging out of your jeans like brandon well if you were if you weren't
grieving so hard your ass crack would probably be hanging out.
Yeah.
Sorry, was my ass out?
That's the process.
That was right in my face.
Little code yak.
That's whatever.
I have to stop eating for a while.
For real?
Yeah, I just feel like I'm starting to gain that.
Winter weight?
Football 15.
Yeah, but that's just uh seasonal that's just living
that's just to protect your body from the winter time yeah biologically that just shows that you're
well i woke up sunday with a tummy ache that's bad when you wake up with one
you're like oh geez i haven't eaten in like 12 hours and my stomach still hurts
what do you think it was that you ate that gave you the tummy ache? Like when we were at the gambling cave all day Saturday, I was just like, go to take a piss, eat a couple Oreos.
Yeah.
Twizzlers.
Yeah.
That's the best place to nosh, though, the gambling cave.
It's so bad, though.
It's just like it doesn't even register.
You're just like, oh, yeah.
It would be sweet if at the gambling cave.
I feel like the one thing is missing is just just freshly cooked football food like chilies and shit.
I made a chili yesterday.
Did you?
My boy, yeah.
It came out very soupy, but it filled me up.
It's okay.
I was happy with it.
So audit yourself.
What could you have done differently to make it less soupy?
More shortening?
Yeah, you could add some cornstarch or flour.
They were basically saying it's a patience game.
The longer you leave it on simmering.
Cook it down.
Yeah, but I was hungry, so I had to dive in after 40.
Yeah, I've been cooking a chili for like a year now.
Slow and steady.
It's slow and low.
It's a solid right now.
Eat it like an apple.
Take it like an XR Vyvanse eventually.
Chili pill.
I love chili.
You guys see that?
The TwitchCon foam pit?
Oh, my God, yes.
Oh, yes.
Play that clip.
This shit is so funny to me.
So funny.
I mean, you never want to laugh at someone's injuries, but yeah, you do.
What kind of foam is that?
I know.
Hard foam above.
It was built on a cement right so there's if you look
in the replies i was i was just like how does this happen and someone had a diagram of what
it should look like and it's like should be foam and then a trampoline underneath so it has more
give it wasn't like multiple people had yeah grave injuries oh They didn't shut it down after one. It wasn't just the chick?
Adrian, it was multiple.
Broke her back in two places, and then all the replies to her were different people posting from the ground with broken legs.
Run it back, run it back.
The moment she realizes she hurt.
There was no give.
And Sky Zone has protected it.
No, no, she's fine.
It's right.
Wait, can you play the sound?
Because she says I'm fine.
Big symphony.
A sense of her own.
Great victory there.
Yeah, it's interesting.
Are you okay?
She broke her back.
She's held down by the pitiful medic.
And then the person's making jokes.
First off, that's the porn star.
Yes.
Somebody else tore their ACL in there, though.
And then somebody dislocated their shoulder.
It was sponsored by...
Why was it such a shitty phone call?
It was just, like, not deep.
At this moment, though, when she says...
When they ask if she's okay and she nods yes
and then immediately nods no.
Watch.
That's a great victory there.
Breaking your back.
Jesus Christ.
I love how.
Wait, can I see another injury?
Scroll down and make a reply.
And the MC being like, she lives in there now.
Yeah, yeah.
The lamest jokes of all time.
Gamers used to be the furthest human species removed from porn stars.
Yes.
Now they're the closest.
They go hand in hand.
It's a bad recipe.
Because all Twitch stream girls are like, You see the video of the guy getting on the ground with his ass up for her to stand on it?
Yeah, but he had a bad ass.
The arch was crazy.
He had a crazy arch. He had the craziest arch, I didn't see that. He had a fat ass. The arch was crazy. He had a crazy arch.
I want to talk about the arch, but...
He had the craziest arch.
I want to see that.
I just like that they're having cons, dude.
The fact that there's that con, fucking Bravo con.
Cons are back.
Oh, yeah, this guy.
Gangfest.
Like, why can't we have a con?
Yak con?
This guy gets her autograph.
I think it's a normal...
Con yak?
Oh. All right, let's get one more photo let's do a goofy one this is amaranth who dominates the female streaming category oh my god that's a that's a woman ass what'd you say kb that's julio
man okay what it's all you need to do you don't have to have the fattest ass if you arc it right.
Yeah.
You're saying that boy's ass is nice?
I said it first.
I said he had the girl ass.
You started to wax poetic about how fucking.
Your mind automatically went to fucking him.
Yeah, it did.
Yeah, it did.
That's all you need. You don't have to be that big if you arc it right see that's all i need you could tell he could throw it back
maybe we'll have that you know it is also not a very it's not it's it is hilarious but it's also
bad you see the video of this uh the kid who got shot by the cops who was just eating a burger in his car?
And the cop thought, the kid's fine.
He's alive, I think.
Make sure he's alive before you even say anything else.
I've watched this video like 75 times.
He is just sitting there eating a burger and the cop thinks it's someone else.
And he like opens the door and the kid just with the burger and then just starts like
unloading into him and the kid's like what the fuck is it so how is he even questionably fine
i don't know he drove away and then the cops arrested him for evading for evading arrest
his face when the cop opens the door is the hardest i've laughed in a long time
you better make sure he's okay dude
Because if he's not okay
You are Francis
Step by step
It's funny
What?
It is funny right? I'm not crazy
I didn't think it was funny
You didn't think it was funny?
No dude I didn't have any instinct to laugh
I watched it like 75 times
Did you laugh before you knew it was alright? No, dude. I didn't have any instinct to laugh. I watched it like 75 times. And did you
laugh before you knew it was alright?
Get out of the car. Get out of the car. And he's like,
what?
Bro, you're twisted. He's in critical condition.
Oh, that's not good. Jesus Christ, Taz.
Sandwich is good. I didn't think that shit was
supposed to be not funny. Sandwich is so good. He's in what?
Critical condition, Taz.
He just said he's in critical condition.
Supposedly.
No, dude. You gotta said he's in critical condition. Supposedly. Oh, dude.
You got to get off this ledge.
The video was funny.
No, dude.
No, it sounds not.
It is.
Okay, how?
Boys.
I laughed a lot when I watched it.
It is bad, though.
I did not know he was in critical condition.
Because he was eating a burger?
What? That's why it's funny? Oh, you're asking me? Yeah, though. I did not know he was in Christmas. Because he was eating a burger? What?
That's why it's funny?
Though you're asking me?
Yeah, yeah.
What is?
You've got to watch the video, and you will laugh.
No, you won't.
Oh, no.
Let's not watch the video.
You might laugh at the thought of Sass laughing.
Yeah, the absurdity of it.
That's like I got caught in one of those.
Jake went to the Jets-Dolphins game yesterday, and he said the Jets fan, he's a Dolphins fan,
Jets fans were doing the Tua hands to him,
like gang signs being like, where's Tua?
And I was like, the absurdity of that is funny.
Like the fact that NFL fandom is so stupid.
Yes.
They're just like going up to him and mocking him.
It's naughty.
His brain has just got mangled. Yes. They're just like going up to him and mocking him. It's naughty, but it's... His brain has just got mangled.
Yeah.
Imagine you saved up all year to go to TwitchCon and then waited online for the foam pit.
And then broke your back in a foam...
Can I see more foam pit injuries?
All their bodies were already broken.
I don't know if there's any footage, but there's like replies of like a girl in a wheelchair.
Yeah, there's a couple other people that got hurt.
Why did it fuck up so bad?
It was just like one foot deep.
And they didn't put it on,
it's supposed to be
on a trampoline.
But how didn't it stop
after the first interview?
Yeah, when someone
breaks their back,
they're like,
at least, yeah,
let's get going.
Someone's getting sued
for sure.
It's a company,
like a large PC manufacturer,
I won't say,
because I don't know
if they ever sponsor
our stuff,
but it's like a large PC company.
Supposedly they all
signed a waiver
right before the pit. Because one of the girls had a broken back. She's like, signed a waiver, but... It's like a large PC company. I could have money to sponsor.
Because one of the girls had a broken back.
She's like, signed a waiver, but honestly,
TwitchCon was still everything.
Guys, we could build a bad foam pit right there and just have Barstool employees hurt themselves.
For our pleasure.
You could do that for the...
What's it called?
Black Friday?
Black Friday foam pit.
A bad foam pit?
That would suck so bad to hurt yourself in a foam pit.
Breaking your back, too.
Isn't that like paralysis almost?
A lot of times.
She seemed to be all right.
We should do a pit draft.
We draft what's in our pit and have to jump into it at the end.
That moment when you realize,'re like oh my back is
broken holy fuck that would suck yeah i'm done for a while landing on something or landing
landing on something harder than you expected it to be as a jarring experience right in that
like the when you get really injured you have that moment where like i'm okay and then you
realize no i'm not and it's just like, oh, God.
That's like when a little kid, they laugh at first,
then four seconds later they just scream crying.
One time I cut my hand open terribly, had to get stitches,
but I didn't feel anything until my mom got there.
I was so little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't register, and then I saw her and looked at my hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought I broke my tailbone on the first Rediscovering America
when we were getting pulled by that truck
in the beer can.
You could see on my face that I was
pretty hurt and scared,
but I was good.
I was so stupid.
So dumb of us, yeah.
It always is.
We were just getting pulled by a truck in the snow.
In a beer can made of wood.
We weren't done shooting.
It was for one person.
No helmets, no equipment.
All three of us were in there.
It was really bad.
I hurt myself.
Yeah, it was bad.
We had to go back to that hunting lodge.
Yeah, this.
We blew off some steam with some unlicensed fireworks.
Getting pulled by a car.
Other cars are going past us.
And I just landed.
That car behind us was just
a random person.
Oh my god.
Yeah, this thing's good for the race.
I mean, did you see the speed we were getting on that?
Nick, are you okay?
Can you have it patched up?
That sucks.
You're still cute, though.
Thanks, man.
So cute.
You didn't get out of being cute.
Like, if you get really hurt, if you were really, really hurt, you would have stopped being cute.
I've been trying to be weasel my way out of this cuteness.
I know.
You better get hurt, then.
I've got to hurt myself bad.
You better eat a McDonald's in a police station.
I can't hurt myself too bad, or else I think it's a horseshoe theory.
It circles back.
You'd be really cute in a wheelchair. I back. You'd be really cute
in a wheelchair.
I know.
You'd be so cute
in a wheelchair.
Just wheeling around.
I think the arm crutch
is not as much.
No.
Dragging your legs,
you mean?
Yeah.
I don't know, dude.
Some schools,
that's like the hottest
person at the school.
Walt Jr. made it choogy.
Yeah, exactly.
That's how you think?
I think.
What schools?
CP, when... You don't have... There wasn't so much hot with CP at your school.
You always bring this up, and now I'm thinking you actually believe it.
I think it's true.
Yeah, the girl with cerebral palsy.
Hot-ass girl with cerebral palsy.
I mean, look them up now if you didn't really think that they were hot then.
The hottest?
No, a hot-ass girl.
I'm not saying the hottest girl.
And look them up now if you didn't.
Do not Google hot girl CP. Oh, no.-ass girl. I'm not saying the hottest girl. And look them up now if you didn't. Do not Google hot girl CP.
Oh, no.
CP.
I was the hottest guy in Comfort Plus yesterday.
Oh.
On a flight.
Oh.
No, Spider was in Comfort Plus.
Spider was first class.
Oh.
Fair enough.
But that's good because Spider needs that extra room.
He's a big guy.
Spider breaks his back metaphorically.
He gets first class.
Yeah, yeah.
And his numbers are crazy.
His SkyMiles numbers.
Insane.
I think he's diamond status.
Diamond Spider.
How are those sandwiches?
So good.
How are those cutties?
Are you picking the onions off?
Yeah.
Really?
Really?
Do they make you farty or what?
Onions make me hiccup for the rest of the day.
I have one onion I hiccup for the rest of the day.
Get him an onion.
What?
Force feed him an onion, Brandon.
I will be fucking miserable.
Hold him down.
I will be fucking miserable.
You are that crazy white boy.
Yeah.
Brandon, you fuck with Van Gogh?
Why?
Your socks.
That's not Van Gogh, is it?
It's just flowers.
Is this Van Gogh?
I think those are just flowers.
Those are just sunflowers.
I think those are Tyler the Creator socks.
Oh, damn.
I could barely see them.
Oh, those are Wolfgang socks.
Flower boy.
Golf wang.
My bad.
I thought they were Van Gogh.
They are good socks, though.
I appreciate you bringing attention to them.
Yeah.
It's just that when you wear a nice muted tone for the rest of your outfit, you can really flex the sock.
What I was going for.
Mutiny.
Okay.
You know what happened?
No, I better not.
I'm good.
Why would you better not?
I will have one.
I'm going to have one.
But I just want to, you know, big hats out.
Say everybody takes a bite simultaneously.
Better not was the wrong word.
Say we simultaneously.
I'm not going to get killed for it.
Everybody has a bite of the sandwich, and then Owen and I just have to talk,
and then we talk about something we're not supposed to talk about.
Yeah, somebody's got to keep you in line.
It wasn't the hottest in Comfort Plus.
There was a good-looking guy to the left.
Fuck.
Are you talking about this guy?
What the fuck?
What do you mean?
Yeah, I mean.
Is that so far-fetched?
No, I'm just saying there had to be at least one.
Nah.
Isn't Comfort Plus, there's only like three rows of that, right?
Yeah, so?
Varies plane to plane.
You might have had him.
He was, nah.
He was a stud?
He was a stud. He's a cuter, though. He was, nah. He was a stud? He was a stud.
He's cuter, though.
12 seats?
Yeah.
He was the only other guy.
I don't know.
I should have got a picture of him.
What are your thoughts on St. Louis?
You were the second hottest guy.
I was the second hottest guy in conference.
That's not bad.
How hot were you yesterday?
Were you at your hottest?
I was sleepy.
I only brought one set of clothes for this trip.
Oh, so you were...
I was disheveled.
And he didn't want to pop any tags on the outlet stuff
because we didn't have time to try it all on.
Sheveled is probably naked as hottest, though.
That's my constant state of being, I think.
Yeah, you are cute when you're...
Thanks, man.
A little messed up.
I like when you're shoveled.
This has been a good episode.
Good ass show.
I feel like I should apologize
for the horrible things I've said
about that child
who was killed.
We've got to see the video.
I'm not out on it.
It could be funny.
I'm sure it could be funny.
No, I don't play it.
Watch it on your own.
You're hungover.
That's the best excuse. You're hungover. No. That's the best excuse.
You're hungover.
You're not the best.
Shit is like,
fucked up shit is funny
when you're hungover.
Yeah.
I'm not saying this video's,
the way you described this video
didn't sound funny,
but,
I apologize for what I've said.
Don't apologize.
Just get canceled.
Maybe an excuse.
That's where you can find
the humor in anything.
It's true.
I will never laugh at it again.
Your boy killed it on SNL the other night.
I know, Marcelo.
Yeah, on Weekend Update.
I saw that.
Very funny.
I thought that was very funny.
Yeah, he's doing good.
He's going to explode.
He's already on SNL.
Yeah, I know.
But he's not full-time cast yet.
He's like a featured cast.
It's kind of fucked up they do that.
Did you give him any advice beforehand?
I did not.
He, I think it's actually pretty rare to get full-time cast like right away.
I think usually you get featured, I think you get writing, you get a writing job usually first and then you get featured cast and then cast.
How would you know so much about this?
You've been looking into it?
No, just because I listen to shit about it.
He listens to shit about it.
Thank you, brother.
I have some news.
Oh, wait, should I tweet it out saying that there's big news, breaking news?
I did this the other day.
Is this why you brought the sandwiches?
You should say it's tiny news.
Major announcement.
Oh, yeah, you never got to.
We all did our announcements, and Owen Orson, Sass didn't either.
Sass, you could do one first if you want.
What?
You got any announcements?
We all did announcements.
My nephew had pneumonia.
He's fine now.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, Owen.
There's a list right there.
Let's do a Shady Rays ad.
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Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their very best deal this season.
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Shady Rays.
Sass, hit the say.
It's Shady Rays, baby.
Get 50% off two plus pairs. It's Shady Rays, baby It's Shady Rays, baby
It's promo code YAK
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Let's delay it for a second, Owen
Really make it awkward for you
I want you to make this announcement wet
Oh, yeah, we should spin
That might help me, honestly
Let's spin the wheel
I was thinking about
What?
We're going to become shiny bald.
No!
That crossed my mind.
Spin the wheel.
Major announcement 151.
I like that.
Major announcement.
Warm up that L key on your keyboard as well.
Hell yeah.
Get the L's fired up.
So we have two and a half minutes
until the announcement.
This is why I didn't want to take a bite of the sandwich
because this is something,
this would be a time when I was
Yeah, exactly.
just saying absolute bullshit into the air.
You're saying it now.
Why don't take another bite?
Well, that's what I mean.
I had to stop eating the sandwich.
But you encouraged me to take a bite of this sandwich.
Was the bite good?
Did you enjoy the bite?
It was sublime.
Here's the thing.
Owen brought the sandwiches and he's the one making the announcement.
He fucked himself.
Yeah.
I've taken a break from my sandwich.
Kyle's done with his sandwich.
We're good.
It's so good.
Dude, double up.
No.
It's a big day.
You know what dance I always want to see again is that double rich dance that Kyle did.
Yeah.
I just want to see it live again.
You know what I'm talking about?
No, that necessitated my happiness.
Are you not happy right now?
No, no.
Why?
I feel like you're in a good mood.
I'm not miserable. What the hell, man?
Owen might change my mood
With physical
It's depending on what it is
This will make you feel a ton better
Minute and a half
We got time
We got time
Looking at the chat
There it is.
Look at you go, dude.
I'm happy as hell.
Feeling great.
Look at all the muscle groups in his legs being engaged.
Feeling so great.
Not a single, every part of your body's moving.
Fluid.
Damn. I guess we can watch that a few more times
One minute
TJ
Titties for a bit
Yeah do we need to do a pregame for the announcement
Yeah titties of any kind
Titties would work
Thanks man
Oh
Okay I mean There we go Those are tacos Thanks, man. Oh. Yep.
Okay, I mean.
There we go.
Those are tacos.
Those look good as hell.
Those are titties.
Wait, wait, wait.
Tacos.
Ew, no.
Is that mac and cheese?
I think that's closer to titties.
It might be.
It ain't tacos.
Anybody called dibs yet?
No. All right, fuck it. It ain't tacos Anybody called dibs yet? No
Alright, fuck it
Oh, Bedia
15 seconds over
Oh, look at that consomme with the Bedia
I had forgotten all about it
Alright, 15 seconds
Skinny Brandon's kind of a dickhead
I just said 15 seconds
Also, is he too skinny?
I think he is
Grossly skinny
Major announcement
Play the music
Breaking news
I'm leaving Barstool Sports
Shit
Hey what?
Shit
It's been a super hard decision
This has been the best
years of my life i met my best friends and got to get paid to hang out with you guys
that made it really hard but i got offered something else i think i have to try
and i'm gonna be doing that yes yes he Yes, and we're very excited for Owen.
I think everyone's talked to him about it the last couple weeks.
Yeah, I talked to everybody here except Brandon.
It's too skinny.
I didn't even really know what it was.
You had your own shit going on.
It's too skinny.
Yeah, it sucks a lot.
You want to go talk about it now?
What do you mean?
Me and you.
Me and you?
We should.
Yeah, I don't know.
Does anybody have like...
Well, do you want to say what you're doing?
It's the right...
It's more.
Yeah, it's more than once in a lifetime.
It's no other...
Yeah, it's one of those things that nobody else can do right now.
Yeah.
It's hard.
It was just kind of exactly what I want to do
and just a little more focused
and a little more money.
But my main thing throughout this whole thing
has been trying to make sure
I'm not damaging any relationships on my way out.
People can have any perception,
but I really do just love everybody here
and the company.
So I always want what's best for you guys and this place.
So I hope it's fruitful on both ends in the long run.
I think we can help everybody and each other.
Yeah, I mean, I'll just say from my perspective, I talked to Owen at length the last couple weeks,
and I think it was a very difficult decision for him, but he's making the right decision for himself.
We obviously hate to lose you,
but I'm happy for you.
On a professional level, it sucks to lose you.
On a personal level, I'm happy for you
because it feels like something that you're going to enjoy
and probably prosper.
Yeah.
There's a big part of my brain that wishes I never got the offer
because my heart wants to stay
here.
In that fucking bag.
In that fucking bag.
Do you want to say what you're doing?
Sure.
I'll be producing the Tim Dillon show
moving forward.
Which is kind of fire.
Kind of huge.
It's huge.
Hopefully helping him work on some bigger projects moving forward and stuff like that. kind of fire out of huge yeah that's kind of yes it's huge i just can't say no and uh hopefully
helping them work on some bigger bigger projects moving forward and stuff like that oh yeah dude
well i've had such a good time working with you dude and i have uh like so much respect for you
as like a buddy like you're saying and uh you also just busted your ass while you were in here
and you also uh kind of naturally like added i think to the alchemy of this show in a great way.
You know what I mean?
You have your own personality and didn't ever try to be anybody else.
So, dude, it's been nothing but a pleasure the entire time we've worked together.
You are my dog.
Yeah, it'll be impossible to replicate.
The story of Owen is crazy.
He was brought in to run Bet the Pigskin, Bet the Ponies.
That never happened.
Did it ever happen?
Yeah.
No, fun fact, I was doing all that shit for a while, too.
Oh, shit.
I eventually stopped doing it.
But yeah, when I put in my two weeks, Gaz was like, all right, we're just going to have to figure out sportsbook responsibility.
Yeah.
And then we grabbed you to produce Anus because you were chill.
Before even that, he was just randomly sending us, cutting up clips for the Yak, for Anus,
before we even had that role.
Yeah.
In a company dominated, in a field dominated by ego and self-motivation, he was maybe the
most selfless or the only self completely selfless person
that i've ever yeah read yeah just putting us up dude how did you get on the act was it because
you had a good stat about long island i'm because i was out that day and you just they came back
talking about this dude who was talking about long island and road island it was uh no pools
yeah well my first time on the act brandon came and got me and I was wearing headphones and I was eating lunch.
He said, you're on the act.
And then I think you guys have forgotten you invited me on because Deion Sanders.
That's right.
That's right.
So he sat down and you guys talked to him for like an hour.
I was so nervous.
I just never stood up.
And then I've been on the act for the next two years after that.
Who was that old person you took a picture with or something?
The Walgreens twins.
Oh, yeah.
I thought that was going to be my big in with you guys, that I had met them.
It was, right?
It was.
Well, no, I don't think we knew who they were.
None of you guys knew.
No recollection.
But young Owen pictures are fucking really funny.
Huh?
Look so mean.
Yeah.
I was pissed from the jump.
Then you cemented yourself with the asking Dave to lunch.
Yeah.
That is one of the – I wasn't even on the –
The fellas are going to love this one.
Yeah.
Asking Dave to lunch is one of the hardest I've laughed in a long time.
That is fucking funny.
And then him in the box with Erica.
I forgot about that.
That was tough.
That was real tough.
That was tough.
Yeah, it's sad.
But again, it's sad, but it's also good.
You know what I mean?
It's good because you're doing something that you want to do
and you're taking a risk.
And I always applaud anyone who takes a risk.
Bets on themselves so
yeah get the fuck out of here
yeah leave right now
this show is black Brandon you are irreplaceable
brother
I truly think you are
I truly think you are
we've always said that
I truly have always said that
behind your back though
no this is exciting dude
it's something you couldn't say you can't fault him for wanting to give that a shot I truly have always said that behind your back, though. No, this is exciting, dude. It is exciting.
It's something you couldn't say.
You can't fault him for wanting to give that a shot.
No.
No, that is a massive opportunity.
I thought you were going to say upgrade.
No, no, no.
No, it is a great opportunity, though.
It is funny, though, how Tim Dillon, we all thought that he was grooming you the entire time.
Yeah. I also, yeah, this wasn't, like, how Tim Dillon, we all thought that he was grooming you the entire time. Yeah.
I also, yeah, this wasn't, like, expected or plotted.
I was.
You didn't apply.
No, I had been, I had met him once, and I.
You met him a couple times.
Yeah, and then got invited to see.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was pitching him.
My pipe dream was I had been writing a mockumentary working to put all your guys' sketches in one place,
and I was hoping to, like, cast them as, like, a small part.
I don't know.
It all happened.
It was very funny because we were about to record Son of a Boy Dad,
and Owen was like, I got a call with Tim Dillon in a minute.
He's like, do you have, like, any ideas or anything you want me to tell him?
It was just, like, the complete opposite of what we expected the call to be.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sad.
Very sad.
Happy, though.
It's happy.
Although it's sad in the moment because I love Owen.
Owen isn't dead and he still lives in New York.
Yeah.
No.
I'm still going to see him.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess you will see him every day.
You live with him.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot about that.
Always do.
Yeah.
Fuck.
It's just going to be weird.
We do this every day. Yeah. Yeah. Just hang out for two hours every that. Yeah. Fuck. It's just going to be weird. We do this every day.
Yeah.
Just hang out for two hours every day.
Dude, one of us is going to have to shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
Owen's leaving.
I know.
Are we just going to all talk as much, dude?
One of us is going to have to shut the fuck up,
and I ain't doing it, dude.
I ain't shutting up.
You've been extra chatty lately.
Dude, if my stutter keeps going, it'll be me.
Yeah.
Sass, you know, says any more kids getting shot by cops, it'll be him.
So what is the official farewell?
Yeah.
Sass is starting to realize slowly what has occurred.
I mean, I can't.
Bro, I wish I could go back in time and not laugh at that video so many times.
I don't think it.
It doesn't sound funny.
Not be wiping tears off of my face.
It doesn't sound funny.
We don't need to go back into it.
Definitely doesn't sound funny.
So, yeah, when are you going to start next?
You've already started, kind of.
Yeah, I had to start, like, editing
and distributing, like, episodes and clips for him,
but I'm still going to be working here,
making sure...
I'm not worried the yak is going to take a hit.
I'm staying this week and maybe the next few to make sure
anus and son of a boy dad are a smooth transition.
No, I mean, you're a glue guy on this show,
and that part is definitely sad to me.
Yeah, I'm sad.
Thanks for the sandwiches, dude.
Yeah.
I know what you tried to do. That's why I didn't eat one. No, I won't be bought off from a sandwich. Thanks for the sandwiches, dude. Yeah. I know what you tried to do.
That's why I didn't eat one.
No, I won't be bought off from a sandwich.
Worked for me.
Yeah, it worked for me, too.
I'll take a buy off real fast.
That was Owen's in, too.
He was getting coffees, food, chores, errands.
He would just come up and slide me like $75 cash.
She owes you a lot of money.
Thousands of dollars.
Oh, my God, I forgot about that.
I got Casey Smith coffees for around 14 to 16 months.
Also, I'm looking back.
Those early days, we tormented you.
Because we also had Gaz bugged for like an Owen.
Yeah.
For your end of year interview, right?
Holy shit.
I would like, the only request I have is when you do leave,
I would like you to videotape you saying goodbye to Frank.
Oh my god.
Who are you?
Okay. Alright.
I'll see you.
And then I'll just be in my seat.
Another one left.
You think you're going to bring the wheel to the Tim Dillon show?
Yeah, first thing I said is
bring the wheel.
Do you have a podcast without a wheel not a podcast
you're gonna be rubbing elbows with some very uh high up people in the comedy world
say so yeah but like so so so do i hear justin long stood us up dude
yeah he didn't stand us up he snuck out. Yeah. Because he looked at...
He had other things.
That's exciting.
I just, I don't know.
I probably haven't been able to process the excitement as much as...
I get it.
Grief.
You do look skinny, too.
You've been grieving.
I've been grieving, too.
People are now saying you've got to get wet one last time.
I would love to.
What?
Wait, you're still here all week.
Yeah, you get wet the last week. Yeah, you get wet.
Wait, is Friday going to be the official last?
You're walking out sopping wet.
Like a cardboard box that's also wet?
Yes, yes.
I like that.
And we line the sides of you like a marine.
Yeah, yes.
Yeah, I'm down for anything.
You guys can put me in an open casket or something.
Yeah, whatever.
We could do like Gigi Allen when he was dead.
They just laid him out and like shit on his face and stuff.
Maybe something like that.
They wrapped me up like a Puerto Rican.
We have nothing to clip interesting from the show.
Sass, can you say something dumb real quick?
I think I already covered that for today.
Sass finds hilarity in child shooting.
Well, it's a good thing Owen decided to leave today.
Actually, Owen was not going to leave because this was like a pretty serious emergency.
Going into today, I was planning on turning it down.
Yeah, Owen was like, all right, guys.
Anyone ever says something dumb, I'll just say I'm leaving.
It would have been great, though, if resume week had landed on you last night.
Oh, my God.
We were thinking about how funny it would be if you were just like, yeah, found a new job.
Sorry, guys.
Out.
I'm out.
What am I qualified to do?
Produce podcasts?
Yeah.
Oh, we were so close.
Let's at least make the last week normal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I won't be here Friday.
I won't be here Thursday or Friday.
Oh, shit.
I have a bachelor party that's for golfing.
I've never golfed.
Oh, that was my best.
Oh, that'll be fun.
I'm going to try.
Are the people you're going with, are they golfers?
They golf a lot.
His friend group is like ultra competitive when it comes to any.
There's a little tip.
I don't fit in.
I don't fit in.
All right, so here's a little tip for you.
Every shot, just say
you're going to love that, no matter what.
It's funnier when it goes in the woods.
I don't have clubs either.
You can rent them.
Just skip the bachelor party. It's the baby boys.
I know.
Fuck, yeah, this does suck for me.
It's just incredibly selfish of you to go
celebrate your friend.
You're losing friend. Yeah.
You're losing another.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Got to talk him out of it on the links.
See how much fun we're having, man?
I can't wait.
You got to post your golf swing.
People will roast it.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I probably should.
You have to.
Great if you were just awesome. Won't be. You can also post a fake score. People, I probably should. You have to. Great if you were just awesome.
Won't be.
You can also post a fake score.
People go crazy for that.
We'll do that.
Yeah.
I'll just send it in to you guys.
Can you shoot out of 65?
Yeah, about.
Or go the other way and just shoot like a 220.
Really bad.
That would be funny.
That's probably what I would shoot.
Yeah, shoot like a 220 and post it.
I need to have some golf clothes.
I might go over to Riggs' desk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have him out for the rest.
Head to toe.
Riggs dress you.
So we have an empty seat on the show or what?
Yeah, I think it's Frank's seat.
I think you should.
Full time.
Maybe some sort of yak idol.
Yo. What? But of yak idol. Yo.
What?
But within the office?
Whoa.
Whoa.
Just hire everybody.
Then we're just like, yeah, we don't think you'll be good on the show, but then have to see them every day.
Damn.
Fuck.
Oh, no.
It's the tannist on the logo
oh no
my fade out can you just have the eyes
keep getting further and further
off screen
nothing compares
to you
oh yeah
we're happy for Ellen
I love you guys all a lot
now we get a whole week of just...
Not just them, you guys too.
I love that.
Boys in the booth.
Well, not all of them.
Yeah.
And people watching.
You hate Che.
Anyone you hated on the way out?
Well, I didn't address the booth at all.
Okay, good.
You should actually make...
What you should do is you should write a letter of all the people you hate,
and we'll bury it for a year.
Oh, I like that. And then we'll bury it for a year oh i like that and we'll
uncover it a little read it so like owen is just like doesn't like tim dylan's show and so he comes
back here like on the day we unearth it yeah that'd be great that'd be great there's a 50 chance i'm
begging in a year so yeah let's do a time cap should we do like one of those viral videos of
like a dog going to be put down like He gets hamburgers and he was happy.
Yeah.
What's your dream week, man?
Throw a ball.
My dream week would be pretending I didn't announce this and having a normal yak.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Honestly.
Fuck yeah.
And then I'll probably just cry a little bit on Thursday or something.
Run says no.
That's not your dream.
No, it's not.
I'm thinking extravaganza.
We should do a celebration of Owen on Thursday.
An Owen draft.
We do it Wednesday.
An Owen draft.
We can do it on Wednesday.
Let's do it Wednesday.
Let's do an Owen draft.
O-W-E-N.
But this isn't about you, dude.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to let you get a word.
I'm going to talk over you the whole time.
I got some jokes to make.
Owen had a lot of misses that episode, huh?
Let's do an Owen draft.
I'm gonna see...
I'm gonna text my mom and girlfriend and see if I can drink on
Friday. No, dude!
I'm about it.
No, dude, that'd be fun.
Imagine your tolerance, dude.
It's my dream to have that tolerance erased.
What if we did a non-alcoholic case race?
That sounds terrible.
We would all get
our stomachs pumped.
Teams of three maybe?
Just chug them.
There's also a good
chance I work for
yeah no.
I'm going to be
awkwardly you guys
are going to have to
tell me to stop
showing up because
I'm going to be
trying to use the
Wi-Fi.
We're going to be
on the act Wednesday?
Oh yeah we have
shows. All the football shows. It's the Owen. We're going to be on the act Wednesday? Oh, yeah. We have shows.
All the football shows.
Fuck.
Let's do an Owen draft tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
I could get O-W-E-N by tomorrow.
Or we could do it on Wednesday night.
We could do a special.
We should do it after he leaves.
Yes.
Let's do that.
That would be fire.
It would be fire.
So tomorrow's the last show that's going to have all of us?
Nick, when are you leaving?
We'll be here.
Thursday morning.
At 1.30, we've got the college football show.
Is it 1.30?
Is it in 1.30?
Usually at 2.30.
You guys want to get tanked on Wednesday night?
I would come back Wednesday night if we wanted to tape an extra special show.
I'll go straight to the airport from Wednesday.
From here.
What are you going to say, Steven?
So Owen's got a birthday in a couple weeks.
Oh, jeez.
So does he come back?
Saturday the 23rd, yeah?
So we could do something.
Come back for a case race, and that will be his last show ever.
That would work.
That works.
And we could tape that.
That would look spectacular.
Because that was our next one planned.
We don't have one until January.
Owen loves big pomp and circumstance around his name.
He does love case races.
These have always been his favorite.
Figure out something special for O-Dog.
Oh, man.
Thank you.
Our number one dog.
Can we get a little tombstone in here with his name?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Put that on the logo.
Yeah. Yeah. Put that on the logo. Yeah.
Ed.
There's going to be a few people who notice like two months from now.
Oh, yeah, Frank.
Frank.
Yeah, Frank.
Where's Owen?
Yeah.
I always liked that guy.
I always liked his stories.
Yeah.
Did somehow Fasoli found out?
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
I respect him so much after this.
He just pulled me in close and he said,
we won't wave from the moon.
That's the outrageous thing to say.
Fasoli does, anyone who leaves Barstool,
it's like a divorce for Fasoli.
How much money do you think the city would have to pay
if Fasoli would have to get to leave?
Fasoli would pay to work here.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
I don't know if Fasoli gets paid.
God bless.
God bless.
All right, so
should we end this episode?
Yeah.
It feels like we can't do much more today.
Where you can really go after.
Yeah, sort of deflated all.
I'm full of sandwich.
It's just all full sandwich.
Okay, so we'll plan something for this week.
Yeah.
It'll be Wednesday, maybe Thursday.
We'll figure it out.
Well, put your straws at half height today.
Where's your bachelor party?
Lake Norman, North Carolina.
That's out of Charlotte.
That sounds lovely.
It does sound lovely.
You guys want to come?
Kind of.
We're not welcome down there.
I know that.
Come on down.
I don't want to show up on the golf course.
Boys won't care.
Maybe you're trying to chill this weekend?
With you?
Yes, would love to. For real? I love when you ask me this once a year. That won't care. Maybe you're trying to chill this weekend? With you? Yes, would love to.
For real?
Yeah, I love when you
ask me this once a year.
I ask you all the time
and I always get turned down.
I'm always like,
what are you trying
to do tonight?
I don't know,
I'll do something.
I'm afraid of getting pranked.
I've never pranked you.
I'm always trying to hang out.
I'm down to hang out whenever.
Hell yes.
Now that Nick's out of town,
I'm about to strike
while the iron's hot.
I'm available.
Maybe he's now producing Boy Dad.
His recruitment trip.
Is it hard to produce podcasts?
No.
Just press a button.
A little tedious, maybe.
But you can go on two and two times speed yeah
damn what's rogan gonna be like i don't know i gotta start smoking cigars probably
you're gonna be the first one to meet him of all of us in this room god damn we always wondered
who it would be co dog owen you, you practice? That's coming up soon.
Assassin always looking in the mirror practicing for
meeting Rogan. Yeah. Sup, Mr.
Rogan? That's all he has so
far.
It's good.
It's good, man.
I just don't know if you want to lead with your best stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll save that
for halfway through the conversation.
Oh, shit, wait. I'll save that for halfway through the conversation. Oh, shit, wait.
I meant to say, what's up?
All right, dickheads.
Yeah, let's end the show.
And then, yeah, we'll see everyone tomorrow.
Everyone will be here tomorrow.
Yes.
See everyone tomorrow. It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.