The Yak - Owen Signs Off From The Yak | The Yak 10-12-22
Episode Date: October 12, 2022Now I run the game, got the whole world talkin'You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool....link/barstoolyak
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello!
Hello, Ron, Ron.
Ron.
What happened, dude?
What, carrying this company with new podcasts?
No, I don't get it.
It hurts, though. It hurts so much my stomach hurts.
What?
Lower back? Upper back?
Lower back.
Are you, like, having trouble breathing right now?
Let me rub it out for you.
I can breathe.
Sure?
Yeah, it's a spine thing, not a heart attack.
Someone had a heart attack live on air.
That would be electric.
That would be electric.
Should I just kind of swim through?
Let me try to get my back right real quick.
Okay, get your back right.
Rowan's going to get his back right.
He's going to walk around a little.
Larry Bird, lay down on the bench. Yeah, get your back right. Rowan's going to get his back right. He's going to walk around a little.
Look at Larry Bird lay down on the bench.
Yeah, do the show laying down. Do the show laying down.
Hello, everyone.
You can tell he's in pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, he's in a lot of pain.
Probably just needs to poop.
How's everyone doing?
I'm doing really well.
Day four of Owen's retirement tour.
He's like fucking Coach K at this point.
Yeah.
We get it, dude.
We're all sick of it. I don't know what to do.
They asked me to put in two weeks and then I'm still like, I still have responsibilities here.
When I put in my two weeks at my last
job, it was the best.
They didn't expect shit out of me.
I was just sitting at my desk.
Different departments were taking me out to lunch every day.
I understand why we do it,
but isn't two weeks kind of weird?
I feel like you're supposed to say two weeks, and then they're like, just go.
Yeah.
Today's my last one.
Today's your last what?
Day.
Ever?
No.
Not a lot.
Not like a lot.
What are you?
Is your last day here?
Yeah.
Oh, thank God, because I felt so guilty.
I was leaving.
I'm leaving tomorrow. Oh, yeah. No. no okay so this is it this is it and we already did the gavoss yeah yeah let's just do
what you guys prep sheet yeah what'd you guys think oh we could do the whole prep sheet what'd
you guys think about dave's comments about tim dillon i haven't seen the show yet i haven't
watched it was a little odd why i don't know what did you think i thought it was what happened pretty normal he said
it was made sense yeah yes i mean but do him and tim dylan have any relationship no but what his
point is fair it's like yes yeah i did think it was tim would have if anything it would have been
reaching out to you right i don't know him i've never yeah i know but i don't know dave dave like
dave kept being like oh i can't believe tim never said anything to me i haven't talked to
dave at all through any of this yeah i mean i don't so it felt weird being like i i've interacted
with tim dillon like twice via dm so i guess it would be weird for him to do it yeah i didn't
think it was very funny that he was saying that i that like I in some scenario went up to Tim Dillon
and was like hey you should take the producer of my
show. Who introduced Owen
to Tim Dillon? I never
introduced Owen to Tim Dillon. We were at the stand
and he met him at the stand and he said I looked
like Kyle Rittenhouse. Oh nice.
Okay. Also why
would I want Tim Dillon to take my own producer?
You're a fucked up guy. And he's your
property.
We don't have to talk about it.
He should have come to you.
No, obviously I'm very happy for Owen, but I would never have been like...
He's done that before.
You've done that to multiple producers here.
What?
Of your own producers.
You've just been like, here, take this, Joe Rogan.
Yeah, take this.
The guy, Jamie, that used to be Sass' producer.
That sounds like you're sending Owen because you're going to join the Tim Dillon show.
Oh!
Rumor mill begins.
Owen's an emissary.
He's the Trojan horse.
Oh, shit.
We're all going to be working for Tim Dillon.
Yeah, I don't know.
Oh, you wanted to?
No.
But if we all did.
What do you put in your notice?
Why would I put in a notice?
You're just going to leave?
What?
No, I'm not leaving.
Wow.
All right, let's zoom in even more on my face during this.
This is how rumors get started.
All right, so last day, Owen.
Yeah, we got to walk on eggshells.
You can say whatever.
Yeah, you can say whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah, I wouldn't hold back.
I don't know why Dave's running his mouth.
Yeah, get him.
Let's go.
I disagree with this.
I'm glad you're leaving.
You've lost your damn mind.
Are we going to take your key card away?
Yeah, I don't have one.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I never got the Gen 2 key card.
So how the fuck have you been getting in?
I've been getting bugs.
It's very easy to get in.
Security guard for the past 14 months.
Yeah, I walked in, was that Monday?
And I got a text from Colleen.
I was supposed to do a social thing with her,
and she was like, yeah, I'm next to your dad.
My dad just walked in the office.
Your dad was in there, yeah.
Your dad is cool.
And was he doing out and about that day?
Yeah, they must have booked him.
Yeah, they must have booked him. they must have booked him all right so
last day owen what do you want to do what was shit yeah let's we should get people to come in
here and just roast them who have you wanted to roast i'd like to just sit and laugh at you guys
like oh fuck that let's let's cause some controversy yeah say some shit yeah how bad of a boss was jack mccarthy oh here we go yeah tj uh the best
jack is the best he's probably my favorite person here pound for pound the only boss i've ever like
but there are people you can talk shit yeah he's good at that jack's your favorite pound for pound
he's okay i think i think he is yeah he's steezy. He has never brought my mood down.
Top 20.
I think he'd be top 15.
Of what?
Just best dudes here?
He ordered that one day when he ordered Jersey Mike's.
Everyone's talking about that Jersey Mike's.
It's good.
It's good.
One of the best fast food.
What you aren't getting is they had sandwiches for lunch,
and he ordered sandwiches for dinner.
It's incredible sandwiches.
They're not as good as Jimmy John's.
Yes, they are.
Oh, they are.
I worked there.
Oh, they are.
I worked there.
Jimmy John's has the best bread.
I was a delivery man.
What are you saying?
I mean, Firehouse Subs exists.
No, Jimmy John's is far and away the best.
Firehouse Subs exists.
Jimmy John's Scratch.
Jimmy John's Scratch.
Firehouse Subs doesn't fucking exist.
Jimmy John's Scratch are rare-ish.
Sometimes it's incredible, but most of the time it's not.
Whatever they solved with their bread whenever it's with that mayo.
Yes.
And it's freaky fast.
I used to deliver for them.
I never delivered to an excited person.
Everyone was just like, here, yeah, this is my lunch, I guess.
No one was ever salivating or happy.
Were you freaky fast?
No.
So that's your problem.
They probably were like, oh.
They were pissed at you because they wanted their sandwich so fast.
Couldn't figure out the business parks and salon soul in Ohio.
I actually ordered Jimmy John's once and it came in like six minutes and it was freaky.
It was all gigantic business parks and it's hard.
They give you the address of the entire building, and I can't find their specific door.
Listen, all I'm going to say is no offense to Jersey Mike's,
but when you're sitting there gambling all day, and you had subs for lunch,
and then you come out, and you're like, dinner time, and it's just a bunch of wet turkey subs.
Jersey Mike's is so wet.
So wet.
There's nothing worse than a wet.
I didn't know pot bellies. It's wet. I didn't know pot bellies.
It's wet.
Oh, yeah.
Pot bellies.
Pot bellies comes dripping in moisture.
Pot bellies is gross.
Very good.
You like pot?
Oh, yeah.
Are we connected with them?
Associated with them?
We used to have one.
We might be associated with them.
We're not.
We're not.
Terrible.
What are you going to say, Steven?
We're associated with Jimmy John's, not pot bellies.
Okay.
Well, great. Because I love Jimmy John's.
Yeah, that's so unlike me.
I might have to do a 180.
Potbelly's is good.
You don't like Potbelly's?
No.
I like the soups from Potbelly's.
The soups at Potbelly's are good.
Potbelly's is good.
But the sandwiches.
Yeah, I've gotten a soup.
The sandwiches are not good.
We've got to find common ground.
Subway sucks, right?
Sandwiches.
No, Subway.
No, Subway serves up.
Oh, no.
Subway serves up.
Subway is foul.
Subway in all of America is the sandwich places preferred.
Their best option is tuna.
And Firehouse Subs is great.
It is their second best.
You know what's also?
I would say Potbelly's is down there with Subway.
Oh, we should do a blind taste.
Potbelly's not down there with Subway.
Potbelly is all hard.
Maybe I just had a bad fucking experience.
You know what's low-key, kind of fire, but you don't have it very often,
or if ever anymore?
Quiznos.
Come on, yes.
Quiznos is far and away number one.
You know what?
They did the toasted first.
They were the first toasted.
And they did the minis where you can get like five of them.
Okay, all right.
But they failed and they're not around anymore.
They're nowhere.
I saw one.
I went to – when we were in Denver, it was like –
I got Quiznos just because I had not seen one in so long.
I'd go out of my way to get a Quiznos.
I've never been.
I'm going to say something.
Penn Station.
Quiznos? No, no, no, no going to say something. Penn Station. Quiznos?
No, no, no. The sub stop.
Penn Station. I haven't had that.
It's a young man's game because of how greasy it is, but it's phenomenal.
Oh, it's a battle for sure, but they've
tapped a different market.
Interesting. Lenwich?
Lenwich?
No.
I've never even heard of some of these places.
We're bouncing up and down, Stephen.
Lenwich is like Asylum Cafeteria.
Yeah, Lenwich, nah.
Lenwich is really good.
As far as New York City, that's the best one.
Nah.
What?
Nah.
That's not, that's a chain.
That's a chain, that's a chain.
There are, of course, better independent delis.
Do you think you could do a blind taste test?
That would be so easy.
Jimmy John's doesn't deliver here.
No.
Manhattan.
I think I could do it by even feel.
I could feel a Jimmy John's.
Jimmy John's would be the coldest.
Yeah, Jimmy John's.
I could feel a Jimmy John's.
It has the smoothest bread.
It is aerodynamic.
But it's also hard.
It's like a vortex.
Yeah, it's like a vortex.
A nerf.
Slides down the gullet.
Yeah, it does.
They have good bread.
Jersey Mike's is a fat, wet chode. Jersey Mike's, I might as well be touching a vortex. Yeah, it's like a vortex. It slides down the gullet. Yeah, it does. They have good bread. Jersey Mike's is a fat, wet chode.
Jersey Mike's, I might as well be touching a swamp.
Ew.
Wet chodes.
It's like I'm wading through a bog.
All I can think about is Italian herb and cheese from Subway right now.
That's what's got me the most excited.
Subway has it.
Subway, too much.
That's what has me the most excited.
If you're driving down the interstate in Iowa and you see a sign and it says McDonald's,
Wendy's, and then Subway, you're like, okay, well, I'll just stop and get a sandwich.
Hear me out, McDonald's.
That was wrong.
You know you're not doing that.
You're never doing that.
You say that with your kids.
This guy just tried to tell us he's not fucking housing Wendy's
and you would never do that.
I do that all the time.
And you stop at a gas station that has a Subway in it.
That tells you all it it's
connected to a tiger mart on an exxon mobile that's how bad it is and i'm still picking the hot dog
i was just gonna say i'm picking the subway in the chicken roller i'm talking hot fries
whole meal yeah i'm picking the jamaican beef patty fred and imagining you looking at the
wendy's and then the subway and be like you know i'll go for'll go for the Subway. I don't like Wendy's, okay?
It's not even the chicken sandwich from Wendy's.
It's not bad.
Yeah, exactly.
You're taking that. I see exactly where to go.
You're taking that.
You are.
Every time.
It's crazy that you would say that.
Even if you don't like Wendy's, I still know you're taking Wendy's.
But I do maintain when you're on the interstate and you stop and get gas and there's a Subway attached, you can talk yourself into getting a Subway.
Oh, you're getting the Subway and then you're also getting some McNuggets
and a large fries. We know what you're
doing. There's not a McDonald's in this particular
gas station. You said there was a McDonald's.
When a subway's in a gas
station, I'll take that over Andy Capps every
single time. Oh, no. Barely.
But there's almost, at those rest stops,
there's almost always a subway and a McDonald's.
A Taco Bell.
Or a Taco Bell. Taco Bell.
I'm picking every time.
Taco Bell's trash.
What did you just say?
Taco Bell's trash?
What did you just say?
Taco Bell might be the best fast food.
Taco Bell's perfect.
Take it back right now.
No, see, it's the best fast food.
Take it back.
Take it back.
Taco Bell is not fast food.
All right.
Ooh, boy.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
We have to remember one very important thing.
Brandon Walker is the largest pussy that has ever been created
when it comes to eating anything remotely spicy.
I fake shit, but a fat vagina.
Yeah.
Come on.
You can't eat Taco Bell because you're-
There's no spicy thing.
Danny, are you okay?
Fire sauce from Taco Bell is literally the best sauce ever created.
From the bottom, it's the belly of the beast.
From a peasant to a prince to a motherfucking king.
Ah!
What are you doing?
Um, King Kunta.
Oh, okay.
Hendrick.
Got me hyped up.
I got a bone to pick.
Why are you doing this now?
I'm a motherfucker
sitting on my throne again.
This is the most natural riff
we've ever had on this show
and you decided to King Kunta.
We all got fired up.
Still be a good time to sing King Kunta. Screeching halt. You decided to King Kunta it. We all got fired up. This will be a good time
to sing King Kunta.
Screeching hall.
You decided now
we're going to talk about it.
Everybody's screaming
Compton.
I don't even care
about debating stuff anymore.
Yeah, you decided
to Kunta it.
It was funny.
That was tough.
Brandon, you actually
don't like Taco Bell
or is that like a...
I don't like Taco Bell.
That's a terrible,
terrible thing.
Is that like an interaction?
I don't think that's a thing.
I know these are all subjective.
I have my personal taste.
I know it's subjective.
Flag in my city.
Everybody's screaming.
I should probably run for mayor when I'm done, to be honest, and I put that on my mama and
my baby boo, too.
20 million walking out the club, Betty.
Woo, woo.
When did you start...
Oh, yeah.
Fuck the judge.
She's never have liked it.
I never have liked it.
Even when I was younger.
Made it past 25, and there I it. I never have liked it. Even when I was younger. Made it past 25 and there
I was.
Little nappy. Oh.
World behind.
You don't need to do that
voice.
It is a good Kendrick. We were talking about like learning
lyrics. I took off like a day of
college to learn the whole
thing.
Where were we?
Yesterday.
Why?
Sandwich chain.
No, it's over.
Sorry.
No, I mean, it was very much worth it.
Yeah.
I need to hear what you guys think about Roy Rogers because it's on a lot of New Jersey.
I don't even know what that is.
Roy Rogers?
I don't have a clue.
It's closer to an Arby's than a Subway, no? Yeah. But it is very popular in New Jersey. I don't even know what that is. Roy Rogers? I don't have a clue. It's closer to an Arby's than a Subway,
no? Yeah, but it is
very popular in New Jersey rest stops.
Arby's is phenomenal.
I'm so afraid of Kyle interrupting.
I know, I'm ready for it to happen.
Arby's, everyone, we talked about it, we've
cycled through the opinions. Arby's
is good. It is.
People like it, like it's not.
I shit on Arby's a lot, and then this weekend I was watching TV and there was a lot of Arby's commercials and I was like, that looks really good. It is. It is. People like this. Like it's not. I shit on Arby's a lot
and then this weekend
I was watching TV
and there was a lot
of Arby's commercials
and I was like
that looks really good.
Beef and cheddar
hits every time.
Last time I got a French dip
I spilled my au jus
which sucked
because it's still
an edible sandwich
but it's au jus-less.
You feel me, Sass?
I get that.
Damn.
I hear you.
I hit home.
Hit home with Sasquatch over there. Damn, I hit home. Hit home with
Sasquatch over there. Been there too many times.
Waxy container of the au jus is slick.
It's prone for spilling.
Did you guys have
Rax roast beef?
No.
That disbanded
in like
2001. Disbanded?
Yeah, that roast beef, it was like when cotton candy hits water. Disbanded? Yeah.
That roast beef, it was like when cotton candy hits water.
It just dissolved.
Awesome.
I got to say, roast beef always- I never liked it.
I always am like-
Nah, it rubs me the wrong way.
Give me a steak sandwich instead.
Never liked it.
Like turkey, salami, ham, but when it gets to roast beef, I feel like roast beef is like
the top like, ooh, this has gone bad meat.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're like, eh.
Yeah, and it'll get like that rainbow, like, gas station puddle on it.
Oh, yeah, the rainbow puddle.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, yeah, it gets like metallic.
It's also just like the name and the look, roast beef.
It is a little gross.
Yeah, it's like it's also, it's, a turkey, a sliced turkey is not,
no one's going to go eat a turkey, but like roast beef, it's like,
I'll just rather eat a steak.
It needs another meat with it.
It needs an au jus dip beef.
Well, roast beef, Solo has roast beef.
Open-faced roast beef, I will fuck with.
But like, then you could get Italian beef.
There's so many better beefs than roast beef.
Anytime I think of roast beef, I think of that meme where it's just the massive roast beef sandwich,
and it just says, bitches be like, find the clit.
Was that a Hope Solo reference?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It can go solo.
What was the meat mountain that came out at Arby's like two years ago?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I photoshopped that body that's on Mount Everest that they can't get off on top of that.
And just like I tweeted it and then nobody liked it.
Like a zero likes in 15 minutes.
That's a pretty deep cut.
What on Mount Everest?
The body they can't get off.
That's a great way to want to take it. I love that. deep cut. Why don't Mount Rushmore? The body they can't get off.
Wait, I want to take a picture of that.
I love that.
It's just like, I love that picture so much.
That's like one of the few memes I have saved on my phone.
Just for a rainy day. You have it saved?
Yeah, I do.
That picture is so funny.
That makes it even funnier.
It's like if you have a lull in a conversation you're
like hey check this out yeah it's hilarious photo the the man on the everest stuff like that's pretty
deep cut yeah the man like the green boots yeah yeah the only meme i have saved is just a home
grown one my buddy this kid from our high school his instagram got hacked and now it's just this
black woman that posts stories of her kid named jeff it's very
hard to explain his name's jeff yeah it's very weird it's jeff it's a little baby jeff in a
burberry hat and the caption is jeff with a check mark emoji every day this kid's hacked instagram
posts a story that's just jeff the check mark on it a red jumpsuit it's my new favorite i'm trying
to have this meme take off.
Fucking sick as that.
Oh, Jeff kind of rules.
Jeff rules.
I'm very happy.
DJ, I'll send it to you.
That is hilarious to imagine
just like a normal person
hacking just another normal person's Instagram.
This kid had like,
fucking instead of just
starting an Instagram.
Yeah, yeah.
Now this woman's just Jeff posting.
Jeff.
Just make your own Instagram.
A baby named Jeff too is just funny.
A little steezy black baby named Jeff.
Jeff, yeah.
Jeff is not like a baby name.
No.
Not at all.
I feel like D-Lo probably would attest to this.
You're Jeffrey until you're like 15.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jeffrey.
I don't know why I didn't think of Jeffrey.
I said Jeffy.
Yeah, but like, oh, maybe Jeff would start.
Jeff's hard to picture as a baby.
Like a three-year-old, that's Jeff. Yeah, Jeff's hard to picture as a baby. Like a three-year-old, that's Jeff.
Yeah, Jeff is hard to picture as a baby.
He never played tag.
No.
Hell no.
Especially any like old names that aren't as, like Carl.
Imagine a Carl baby.
Yeah.
Eugene.
Earl.
Yeah, Eugene.
Jeff.
Jeff.
What a stud.
That's her story every day
Yeah
I would do that too
Oh yeah
Jeff
So that's my favorite meme
And I feel bad for the guy they hacked
Because he just got into like doing hunting and fishing vlogs
Now it's Jeff
Now it's a Jeff page
Is it like fit check?
Jeff check?
I don't know
It's just
It's just Jeff
Should we be worried about Roan, by the way?
Yeah, he seems to be in serious pain.
He hasn't been able to carry a backpack in a couple days.
Is that why he wasn't carrying it?
I would imagine.
Yeah, it might be.
Do you want to go look for him?
I knew a Jeff with a PH.
No shit.
Yep.
He was a psycho.
Yeah.
He lived next to one of my good friends.
J-E-P-H?
Yeah, and we hung out with him a couple times.
I thought you meant he was like a doctor.
We had like some crazy nights, a lot of like kind of, you know,
like getting in weird situations, maybe drugs, whatever.
And then he got so crazy that he would,
every time I would go over to my friend's house and the lights were on,
Jeff would knock on the door.
So we had to start pretending we weren't there.
Couldn't hang out with Jeff anymore
I've had people do that
I've had to hide
Which is also electric
Hiding
Have you ever been hit on though?
Probably
Hiding's hard
You just see the person
You ever get ditched on bikes?
Oh yeah
When I play hide and seek
with my son,
I hide so well,
I just like take a break
for 10 minutes
and he gets frustrated
and then the game ends.
200 IQ.
Loophole.
Find me.
Yeah, he can't find me.
Your fucking apartment
and hide and seek game
can last for hours.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He used to have three kids
and one of them's gone
because we couldn't find him.
You okay with us saying you have kids?
Oh, Jeff.
Jeff! Checkmark!
Dude, I feel bad for Adam.
Yeah, the kid who was usurped.
No, no, no, no, no. Jeff. It's Jeff
now. It's a Jeff page now.
I love Jeff. Can we get more Jeff?
Here comes Roan.
He's missed a lot.
Roan, you missed maybe the most spirited debate that we've ever had on this show.
And we were literally all yelling at each other until KB started rapping Kendrick Lamar and then we stopped.
What song was he rapping?
It was King Kunta.
When they cut their legs off me.
Louder.
How are you feeling, Roan?
It's the yams.
When you got the yam, who got the yam?
The yam is the power that be.
Smell that one's corn.
Have you ever seen the music video for that song?
It's so sick.
It's my favorite song.
They're carrying him up in the car.
I don't think I've seen it.
Are you all right, Ron?
How you feeling, Ron?
Yeah, dude, I heard it was Owen's last show,
so I had to fucking take the epidural and get back in here.
Oh, you got an epidural?
Yeah, real quick.
Joey gave it to you? Yeah, he shot me up. Joey's the best with get back in here. Oh, you got an epidural? Yeah, real quick. Joey gave it to you?
Yeah, he shot me up. Joey's the best with the
needles around here.
What's your favorite place to get a fast casual sub?
I mean, I don't like Subway.
Okay.
A take right off the bat.
Is that what we're talking about?
We were screaming at each other about where the best subs are.
There is one that we left off that I think some people might be kind of passionate
about. Publix.
Pub subs? Brandon specifically.
Not me, but in Georgia and Florida
they fucking love people.
They swear by that. Their chicken tenders and their
subs, yes. Also, Brandon had the worst
take of all time. I didn't have the worst take of all time.
I didn't have the worst fucking take of all time.
He was just fibbing. Which one were you talking
about? When you said you think Taco Bell's bad.
Taco Bell's trash.
That's a bad take.
If we got it now, bad.
Have you ever had a Crunchwrap Supreme?
Can't get it at Chalupa.
My daughter loves Taco Bell.
It's the only time I'll ever go there.
I have not eaten independently of Taco Bell in 20 years.
You can't eat heat.
I don't like heat, but I don't like heat at all.
No heat.
You don't like anything that is even remotely related to Mexicans.
Correct.
No, that's not true.
I love Mexican food.
But the problem is you just started smoking weed again, though, so.
I didn't start smoking weed.
That's a Taco Bell.
That's a gateway drug.
Taco Bell.
I've just been performing on this show.
I've just been, whatever the show needs, I'll do it.
I gave you a quarter pound the other day.
Holy shit.
Two fighters got passed.
Smoking like that?
I had to throw the gummies away.
Why?
Flushed them.
Were you afraid of the kid finding them?
Yeah.
No, wait.
I gave you a better answer.
What were you about to say?
No, no.
That's true.
So my six-year-old now, every day I get home, I had a habit of-
It's an old story that they go through your bag and they pick out –
I had a habit of getting him a Kit Kat or a Twix every day.
That's an old story.
And now he's trained himself to go to the bag,
and he went to the bag and he found the weed gun.
That's two years ago.
I had kids two years ago too.
He didn't eat them.
But my wife came up to me and said, what's going on?
And I said – she said, throw them away or hide them.
So I threw them away.
Hide them?
Why don't you just give them back to me?
Or hide them.
I could have done that.
They're all short.
Yeah, or just like put them on the counter.
Hey, if nothing but short people in your house, put it high.
No, I got tall kids.
I got tall kids.
I got a couple Sean Bradleys running around.
And they're definitely mobile, too.
They can climb.
I got that at a discreet creed in Vegas.
I went out of my way.
No, you didn't.
He went out of his way.
I did?
What do you mean I didn't?
Where else would I have gotten?
How much do I owe you?
Here?
I don't know.
It's not about there.
It would be impossible to return.
There's no monetary amount that would get me that back.
I feel like there is.
I could buy you a plane ticket to Vegas.
You could go to Vegas yourself and do it.
Yep. Next time I'm in Vegas, I'll buy you a plane ticket to Vegas. You could go to Vegas yourself and do it. Yep.
Next time I'm in Vegas, I'll get you the same thing.
You probably won't even do that.
I will.
Don't be snide.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Rams took it out of Richard Pryor.
Phil Bill Clinton with desire.
Oh, fuck.
What's the best sub place?
I'm a Jimmy Johnson.
I'm a Jimmy Johnson.
I like Jersey Mike's.
I didn't know it was a whack opinion.
Zah, you parked up to Firehouse, right?
Yeah, so the heavyweights.
Heavyweights in Florida were Firehouse and Publix.
Them two.
I love Subway, too, though.
I love Subway, as well. I love Subway as well.
Sweet onion sauce.
Meatball sub.
Meatball and the BMT are the only ones that are any worthwhile.
That's the two I get.
That's true.
I put a bed of pepperoni down into the meatball sandwich.
Steven's a Lenwich guy.
Yeah, fucking Lenwich.
Yeah, he is.
Least surprising thing.
That's like a New York City thing.
But nationally, I'm with KB.
I'm a Jersey Mike's guy.
Really?
Yeah, Jersey Mike's is good.
They're hot subs.
I like their Chipotle.
Wet.
Do you guys think any of these chain restaurants,
do you think they're even above mediocre?
Oh, I think Jimmy John's is.
When you need it, yeah.
But if you had the option to go to a local place or Jimmy John's.
I miss having Jimmy John's be like,
there's no Jimmy John's in Manhattan and Brooklyn.
I miss having it.
It's a very specific craving.
Correct.
Going to a local place is kind of a hassle, right?
You go to a Jimmy John's anywhere in America,
it's going to look the same.
You're going to know how to order.
You go to a local place, you don't know how to order.
You can have a good local place that you know of.
I haven't a couple that I know of.
Dude, I don't think that the problem is that it's not local to you.
I think that you've outgrown that taste and period of your life.
What do you mean?
I think that you're not Jimmy John's guy anymore.
Oh, I would get it for lunch multiple times a week.
And you could tell yourself that, but why don't you just get it?
This doesn't deliver into Manhattan.
You could go to.
Are you sure?
No, they don't.
I look like every month.
We could only deliver in a mile radius.
I think Subway, Jimmy John's.
That's how they were freaky fast?
Yeah, you could only stick.
There was parts of the small town we were in that we couldn't go to.
Yeah, look it up, Zah.
I'm telling you.
Nothing in Manhattan?
No, we can't.
I've tried.
I've tried many times.
There's even a closed
one in hoboken near the gambling cave that like broke my heart i tried to go there before a
gambling stream and broke my heart to go to panera bread oh my god i like panera i like there's okay
the great soups um do you know who is who's sneaky the biggest Jimmy John's guy? Drew Brees.
He wears number nine because he used to get the number nine sandwich there.
That's why he wears nine?
Brock Lesnar, big Jimmy John's guy.
I think he has a few Jimmy John's franchises now.
Where is this?
That's in Brooklyn?
Okay, I might be able to get that one.
That's on Myrtle Ave?
It's a bike ride.
Lumineers sung about Myrtle.
Did they?
I thought they were talking about Bowery's.
It's still there.
Wasn't that it?
Where?
Oh, no.
Right there.
Oh, that's not it.
No.
It's a parking garage.
It is Lumineers season heavy right now.
Yeah, Lumineers.
Yeah.
I would say throwing a little Creed in the mix, too.
Oh, what?
Yeah. Interesting. Wild. A little Creed in the mix too Oh what? Interesting
A little Creed on a fall crisp day
That's more egregious than your cop take
Remember when Owen dropped one headlock
Fall back
Please
I'm gonna bury that
Show me your hands
Fall's the best music weather
It is
Yes
Just get your feeling
Let's get the feels up Stepping outside on a day like today is the best music weather It is Yes Just get your feeling Let's get the feels up
Stepping outside on a day like today
Is the best feeling
Just taking a nice deep breath
That crisp fall air
Blowing in your face
There's nothing better
A little creed in the airpods
What song?
Well I just heard
Oh god
News today.
Oh, yeah.
Can you take me higher? Different songs.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
They all sound the same.
Same album, but DJ Earworm.
Are those two different songs, really?
Yes.
First one was on right open.
It's like mashup.
It's like White Panda for Creed.
White Panda was the best.
Do they still do shit?
They did, yeah.
No, they do.
They would do that year-end thing that was awesome.
They did that.
They did a lot of good mashups.
They do basically every good song from that year mashup for like,
it was like a 60-minute song.
There was also Earworm.
Yeah, DJ Earworm did them every year.
They did the end-of-year pop mashup.
I did Say It's a Pop 2008.
It was iconic.
Fuck, yeah. Know You Want Pop. Wish we it's a pop. 2008 was iconic. Fuck yeah.
Know you want pop.
Wish we could listen to music on pop.
Yeah.
The electronics.
It'd be so awesome.
Someday.
Someday.
Someday.
I think it's coming to you.
We even know?
Someday.
Someday.
EJ said it.
EJ said so.
Eventually we'll be able to share revenue with the music producers instead of them outright
taking the stream down.
I wonder how much they'll take.
We should just call music producers and offer them money.
They'll take half of the episode?
We could offer them money, Brandon, but it would be like $300,000 per use per song.
Okay, damn.
We should just play at the bank over and over.
Yeah, something we own.
I still can't believe they let you do that in that music video.
You should just start doing remixes of it.
You let me kill myself?
That's just out there.
You Bud Dwyer'd yourself.
It's funny because I thought it was going to be a bad
visual that people would use all the time, but if you use it
on Twitter, you get banned. No way.
It is very graphic.
Shot myself in the head.
In the mouth.
That was fun, recording that.
Very fun.
Dude, have you guys noticed how Alex Bennett and Francis have like a rich people's club?
Oh, have I noticed?
And it's old money.
It's an old money club.
Like, there's no cracking it.
Like, Dave, you're probably not even one.
I hope they look down on me.
No.
Who else is old money?
Just them.
There has to be someone else that's secretly old money.
I think there's some behind the scenes.
That's berating.
Is Large old money or Large new money?
No, he's new money.
He's new money.
Stu?
Stu's new.
No money.
No money.
Large is old money, though, isn't he?
Large is?
Large is old money.
Because it's from.
Oh, he might be.
The wife?
Yeah, but her dad.
I'm sorry.
Annie.
I feel like the old.
It's not that old.
Oh, the boys. true old money has to
be like multiple generations dude did you guys watch that clip with the rose of oops shit what
clip they posted for oops where julio was talking about hidden like having food poisoning on the
plane no very funny speaking of food poisoning frank that thirst trap. Did you see his thirst trap? Why does he lay it up like that? God damn.
Oh, Frank.
He's covering the titties, too.
I know, like tastefully.
Look at his hands.
Like his fingers are delicate looking.
Oh my God, Frank.
Delicate boudin sausage.
See?
Who did that?
Oh yeah, TJ?
That got me so good.
God, can we call him by his voice?
That looks like Stoolie Clubhouse.
When did he get food poisoning?
Yesterday?
What?
I don't know.
Still trying to get over the Mets loss while battling.
Well, yesterday he was here, and I had to keep reminding him that it's not a Mets stream
because he was just, like, ranting about the Mets during the Guardians and—
Or no, not even—
Phillies.
Phillies-Braves game.
It was like, for other NL East teams.
Not the Mets.
Wait, what were the responses to that?
Somebody asked about if he had a bloody nose.
By the way, all-time Guardians last night.
Did Frank reply?
Oh, jeez.
Ew.
Bloody nose.
Yes.
Oh, no.
All right.
All right.
Can you say that out loud?
Because when I saw it, I was trying to debate what kind of all right was it.
I was like, all right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
I see you, big boy.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. KB, you had an all-time exit. Hi. Hi, Flynn. Hi, Flynn. Hi.
KB, you had an all-time exit last night.
Just masterful.
I left at the ninth.
Yeah, when you're like, ah, Guardians aren't going to win.
It's like, where'd KB go?
It's a lot of baseball.
I don't know how you, like, credit to you for even pretending to try.
I was into it.
Yeah, four to one, I know what it is.
You know what it is.
You've seen that.
But what about the Mariners?
Yeah, there's a lot of, you know.
You know what happened to the Mariners?
They blew it.
Yeah.
Put in that fucking dickhead pitcher.
Bobby Ray.
Up seven to three in the eighth and blew it.
Oh, yeah.
Blew that shit.
The Guardians have no chance.
I think the problem was that they won't get a win.
No, I got screwed last night, too, because I had to do work anyway
because I do prep on Tuesday nights for Wednesday shows.
But when Garrett Cole looked like he was struggling,
I came back and I was just in the PMT studio
hoping the Guardians were going to win
so I could just walk on the stream and be like,
got them tomorrow, guys.
I really wanted it.
And it just never materialized.
Those Yankees fans are annoying.
They are annoying.
Well, yeah.
There's so many of them.
They're just like cheering for every decent play.
Yeah.
A good foul ball.
I don't understand the baseball fans that cheer.
And they do this thing when they try to cope.
If they do terribly, then they become like the ultimate analyst
who's like talk shit on the Yankees.
Yeah.
So they always have the upper hand.
Roll him.
Why?
I said he sucks. Why isn't anyone else? I upper hand. Roll him. Why? I said he sucked.
Why isn't anyone up?
I said blank.
I said it's hilarious.
I've been saying blank.
I said that.
I said onside kick.
I said interception display.
I really want the Yankees to get to the World Series
and lose in tragic fashion.
That would be so great for content.
That is Jared.
What's Jared doing here?
I have no idea. I believe. You're telling me to wipe that smile off his face. Who's Jared. What's Jared doing here? I believe.
Who's Jared?
He's one of our friends.
He's a comedian. He's the homie.
Oh, is he going to hire one of us to be his
producer too?
If he's not here for you
or us, then he's probably here to
take TJ. He knows Pat.
He knows everybody. Yeah. I don't know him. He's a here to take TJ. He knows Pat. He might be... Oh, yeah. He knows everybody.
Yeah.
I don't know him.
He's a networker.
Doesn't know you.
I don't know Jared.
What's up, bro?
Andy's need a producer.
Owen's last day.
I know.
Wait, so how did it work, Sass?
You told...
I went to Tim, yeah, and I was like,
I think Owen would be a good fit for your show.
I want you to steal him from my show
and Barstool as a whole.
He probably protested and he was like,
no, that's a bad idea, I should reach out to Dave.
And I was like, no, dude, go behind him.
Come over.
And this was, what, nine months ago?
Yeah, this was nine months ago.
Just to set the story straight.
Were you accused of that? Kind of. Nine months ago? Yeah, this was nine months ago. Just to set the story straight.
Were you accused of that?
Kind of.
Okay.
I got something depressing to say to you, Owen.
How many times do you think we'll see each other in the rest of our lives?
A lot.
I don't think so.
No.
I don't think so.
I think we're down.
I think when you walk out the door today, we're down to like a half a dozen. You're still going to be in New York.
Right, but we're down to a half a dozen.
New York's a big place.
Half a dozen.
Why don't you guys make it interesting?
It's not bad, though.
No, it's not bad, but it's half a dozen.
I have a question.
How does the coin work with Owen now?
He's got to jerk someone off now.
Yeah.
The only way out.
You think half a dozen is too small?
I'd set it higher, but.
I'm just being realistic.
I did make this.
You did.
I did say with Buda Ben it was going to be two and a half.
I think we're at two.
And you did say with Colby it was going to be zero, I think.
I'll never see Colby again.
I'll never see that guy again in my life.
He's coming back to a 12-hour stream.
It's not as depressing. I think internet interactions are almost sometimes more meaningful and real than passing someone in public.
I think half a dozen is a lot, too.
Six more times?
Yeah.
I don't know how many people I want to see six more times in my life that I'm not seeing.
Everyone is great friends with everybody here.
Right, but I don't go out socially.
I don't.
That's my problem.
But we don't meet up here.
You guys are different.
I could go to like live shows as a fan.
And I don't.
Yeah.
And I will not see you.
I will make sure.
Blinders on.
I'm just speaking facts like it sucks.
I'm not saying I don't want to see you.
I'm just speaking.
People go on with their life.
Oh, and if you had not heard that, what would you have set the number at?
40?
Okay, let's go for 40.
What are you doing this weekend?
Let's knock them out.
Let's bang out at least 30 this weekend.
I think we should probably just bank them out this year.
But, like, Colby's a good example.
I love Colby.
I loved working with Colby.
But Colby also moved to a different state.
Right.
There's a chance I may never see Colby again in my life.
Colby went to start a gay family in Connecticut.
Yeah.
I'm, like, staying in the industry and hoping to...
The industry.
I like that.
And living with Sass.
I'll listen to you.
And Dukes.
You're close with Dukes now, too.
Yeah, Dukes is my guy. Yeah. So, again, I don't go out socially. I live with to you. And Dukes. You're close with Dukes now, too. Dukes is my guy.
Yeah.
Again, I don't go out socially.
I live with your producer and co-host.
I don't go out socially.
I got to start going out.
What if I just told my family, like, hey, I'm going out every weekend now just so I
could maybe see Owen.
Never even contact him.
You just wander West Village.
With no guarantee of seeing Owen.
Got to do it.
With Jared. See this guy. Just wander West Village in the rain guarantee of seeing Owen. Got to do it. With Jared.
See this guy.
Just wander West Village in the rain.
How many times do you think you'll see Stephen Che again?
Two.
Three?
What about Zah?
Zah, I'll see a lot.
Zah, you'll see.
Zah goes out with.
Zah goes out.
Yeah.
I go out with Zah.
I'm TJ.
I go out with.
Yeah.
Me and Stephen are really the ones that are.
I don't know that I'm.
Brandon, too.
The three of us. We're looking at a very little amount of Owen.
No, Owen just has to make sure he comes through the office.
How many times do you guys see Francis?
I guess you guys live right near him.
He moved across the street from me so he could stalk me.
So I see him literally every day.
But we see...
I mean, I didn't even know Francis before I got hired here.
And I saw him a bunch before he came.
Yeah, because you guys both are comedians. It's true. It's true. I mean, I didn't even know Francis before I got hired here, and I saw him a bunch before he came.
Yeah, because you guys both are comedians.
It's true.
It's true.
I'm going to say it's a bad example.
That would be like saying, like, yeah, I see Owen all the time.
He happens to have a three-year-old that goes to the same school as my three-year-old.
Every time I leave my apartment, I see Mikey Fowler.
Seriously?
Yes.
That's another one.
I don't know how many times I'll see him again.
I see him every time I leave. I think you're overvaluing in-person interaction.
That may be the case, but I'm just stating simple facts.
It's still going to be a YAC group chat.
Sad when someone leaves your immediate day-to-day routine.
You don't know.
You get hit by a bus walking out the door.
I see my smoke shop guy every day almost.
I don't know what his legs look like.
He's always behind the counter?
Yeah.
He might be in a wheelchair.
What are you buying from the smoke shop every day?
Japanese Gatorade.
I'm going to try to see you.
You always do have exotic flavors.
What flavor?
They have crazy flavors.
They always have weird flavors of Lay's chips too.
Like 6AM?
The crazy Kit Kats. Oh yeah.? Candy, crazy Kit Kats.
Oh, yeah, the green tea Kit Kats.
Smeh.
They're not better than regular, but it's a new taste.
It's a new taste.
Aren't they expensive?
Isn't that stuff expensive?
Very, yeah.
One of those Gatorades is probably, what, $10?
Yeah.
Did you ease up on your diet a little bit?
I can't tell, but I can tell by your-
I've been consuming more calories.
Yes, okay. Because of bulking season. I understand. Big Cat, I don't by your... I've been consuming more calories. Yes, okay.
Because it's bulking season.
I understand.
Big Cat, I don't think we'll see each other outside of work,
and we won't see each other in the office anymore.
I think I'll see you more than six times.
I think I'll be at a lot of yak events that I've been to.
Okay, and obviously you can text me anytime.
That's not what I'm saying.
I've only seen you out of work twice, I think. Yeah, maybe. So it's probably a me problem. I've only seen you out of work twice, I think.
Yeah, maybe.
So it's probably a me problem.
I've never seen you out of work.
I haven't either.
It's a me problem.
Well, I guess we're always traveling together.
We work together a lot.
Yeah, I've never seen you out of work, then.
I guess I haven't seen Brandon out of work either.
I want to start tossing Frisbee in Central Park.
All right, let's start doing shit.
That is not realistic.
That's real.
Not at all.
Doing shit?
What, uh,
oh, and can you book
Tim Dillon on PMT?
He was supposed to come on
like a year ago.
Oh, yeah.
Then he was scared of COVID.
Yes.
Pussy.
Oh, yeah.
Tell him I said that.
Easy money.
Easy.
Okay, so there's one.
I gotta get him on,
I think, PB and Slay first
and then...
Mm-hmm.
Tim's a...
He's with fucking Andrew Tate in Bucharest right now.
Or was.
Yeah.
He was with Top G?
Top G.
So if you guys go to...
Say you guys go to Bucharest.
Are you in Delta One with him?
Can you book both of you guys in Delta One on the way to Bucharest?
No, I think I'll be...
Hover Plus.
Yeah.
It's where Dickie resides.
It's a domain.
It's a domain of your contract.
Yeah.
Fly first class everywhere.
Yeah.
I got to get on one of those, like, points programs.
Yeah.
Delta.
Yeah.
That I finally did.
It's just so expensive, though.
No.
It's not free.
Oh, no, I know the points is not expensive.
I have it attached to my trip actions for work.
Yeah, I should do that.
But Delta is just so expensive.
What?
It's an expensive airline.
Is it?
Like, fly?
Yeah.
Is it more expensive than the others?
I just use Priceline all the time and get the cheapest option.
Yeah, but that leaves you flying Spirit and Frontier, which I refuse.
Refuse. Refuse.
Refuse. I don't... I mean,
I have.
And I think you fly enough that Delta would be worth it. Yeah, probably.
Delta's so much better.
You get the Delta Express card, you get
a little piece of cheese before you go on even
TV.
Delta's the best.
Delta is up there.
What's the best form of transportation to sleep on?
Train.
Locomotive.
I can't sleep on any form of transportation.
Oh, it's the best.
It puts me right to sleep.
Plane, train, car.
I can't sleep in any of them.
Car has got to be the worst.
Car is.
I like cars.
Really?
Car is usually just.
I like the feel of a highway.
I like cars when I'm driving.
As soon as I fall asleep, I know I'm going to die in a car crash.
Just like close my eyes for a second.
I fall asleep and the head is up against the glass, just banging against it with every
bump.
Bus?
Oh, you got to buy a turtle, dude.
Bus is the worst.
My favorite is actually the bus.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Easiest.
It's like someone's driving.
It's the nice bumpy road, the calming noises.
A nice bumpy road.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you know.
I feel like it's just tight so packed
in an upright chair.
I remember riding the bus in school.
I don't know the last time I rode a bus.
Are you talking like
a Peter Pan bus? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the casino buses.
Actually, Brendan,
actually went there. The dozen.
I wasn't there.
I was down south for our funerals.
Sorry.
Thank you for noticing. We took the bus to the most dangerous games.
I think I've said this before, but Billy drank a large green tea from Starbucks and a 20-ounce Red Bull and then slept for four hours.
Which was the craziest thing.
Like a peaceful sleep, too.
That's legendary.
He had to get to homeostasis.
I know.
His dreams must have been fucked.
Must have been awesome.
Sprinting through brick walls.
Like the juggernaut.
Yeah.
Brandon, I bet if you got on one of those airplanes that had like a pod or something
where they could fully recumbent, lie all the way down.
I feel like you could snooze on one of those.
I flew to the Super Bowl.
I flew to L.A. last year on one of those with a bed.
Yeah, yeah.
You just put your feet out.
Oh, you could put your feet up, but could you lie all the way flat?
You got blue mint?
You could if I wasn't 6'5". I saw other people lying fully back, but I couldn't pull it off.
So much at-rap for you.
You've got to bring a full pillow.
I watched a movie on the person who was sitting across from me.
I watched a movie on their screen.
Oh, I do that.
I always have a better.
I don't watch mine.
I watch theirs.
They are so good at picking.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
I watched two movies on that girl's TV.
I mean, same with sandwiches.
The person with you always gets the sandwiches way better than yours.
I don't know how to play.
Jimmy John's, not Jersey Mike.
I like Firehouse.
Enrique just said, Jared is here for me.
He's not.
Oh, yeah.
No, he's not.
He's definitely here for you.
You're in that world now, bro.
Industry.
You're in the industry.
That dude, Jared.
Oh!
Holy shit, that scared me.
That legitimately just scared me.
Have you guys seen Nope?
I haven't.
None of you have?
It's the new Jordan Peele movie.
So good.
Is it?
The thing about that movie is in the trailers, I just don't know what it's about.
Two minute trailers just doesn't tell you what it's about.
It's a suspenseful movie.
Trailers shouldn't tell you what it's about.
No, I hate it. Trailers should absolutely tell you what a it's about. Yeah, but it's a suspenseful movie. Trailer shouldn't tell you what it's about. No, I hate it.
Trailer should absolutely tell you what a movie's about.
I like the trailer.
Yeah.
I like the trailer to just tell me everything so I don't have to watch it.
Yeah.
What about scary movies in general?
Do you guys fuck with them?
I don't.
I love scary movies.
I love scary movies.
I see food in movies.
The new smile one looks enticing.
The one about smiling.
Yeah, what is it?
Like the guerrilla marketing.
Pretty creepy.
Yeah, that was weird.
I didn't catch the plot, though.
Triggered Frank pretty hard.
That's it.
Yeah.
Doesn't take much.
Oh, no.
Is that Big Cat?
Oh, no.
First image.
That looks like the guy
from the real person
from Toy Story
who owns Al's Toy Barn.
Holy shit.
The guy from Al's Toy Barn. Looks exactly like him. Big Cat times Frank is Al's Toy Barn. Holy shit. The guy from Al's Toy Barn.
Looks exactly like him.
That's how Frank is Al's Toy Barn.
I mean, it's the sexiest pose.
How the fuck did you put that together?
There's like a Twitter account that every day posts the video of Al driving across the street to Al's Toy Barn from his apartment.
Oh, yeah.
Every single day, and it does crazy interaction.
Every day.
Why did you ask if I was
loosening up on my dick?
Just because you
talked about the Kit Kat and usually
when we would have sandwiches in here
you'd be like, no, no, I'm not having sandwiches in here.
You don't look like a fat ass.
I badly.
Oh no. It's. Oh, no.
It's the inspiration you need.
Is it my chin?
No, no.
Are you wearing that shirt for a specific reason today?
I'm going to be so skinny in two weeks.
I know.
It's the inspiration you need, though.
Sometimes you need someone to kind of...
It's brave to wear a white dry fit.
Are you wearing that shirt for a specific reason?
Because Bob Huggins is coming in.
Is he?
What?
Wait, today?
Yeah.
Jesus.
No fucking way.
I wear this a lot.
Well, you got to stand front and center.
That'll go well.
Cross them up.
No, it was literally because you've been eating,
you like ate an Owen sandwich and you talked about a Kit Kat.
And I feel like you would never have said that two months ago.
And I think that that's way healthier to be able to eat what you want
and indulge when you want to.
Okay, thank you.
You do not look any different.
If anything, you look stronger.
Yeah, you do need a pair of Robacks, though.
Yo.
Code Yak.
I do.
Are we getting some?
20% off, yes.
I'm going to buy some myself, but I would like some free ones.
Very comfortable Roback.
Use code Yak.
20% off first purchase. I'm going to buy some myself, but I would like some free ones. They're very comfortable. Roback. Use code YAK.
20% off first purchase.
Joggers, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies.
New joggers are incredible.
They really are.
What I like is those golf shirts, too.
Yeah.
Those are nice.
Yeah.
Party shirts.
Speaking of golf.
Yeah, this is crazy.
Rigs and the boys on PGA.
Yeah.
That's like a child's dream.
Crazy. Like an adult's dream. Cut Lurch out, too. Oh, no. Boys on PGA? Yeah. That's like a child's dream. Crazy.
An adult's dream.
Cut Lurch out too?
Oh, no.
Out of the money?
Out of the game.
Are they going to be like, is it going to have their actual stats?
Oh, no.
Are you going to be able to play with Riggs, Nick?
I'm going to go straight to the wardrobe section of the game.
Oh, you can finally dress him.
I'm going to dress Riggs.
It's going to just be you doing the game.
It's like, oh, I never play. I'm going to stream. Yeah, I's going to just be you doing the game. It's like, oh, I never play.
I'm going to stream.
Yeah, I'm just going to be dressing him.
Did you see who else is in the game?
Who?
Dude Perfect.
Oh, now it's not as cool.
Wait, can we see them? Do we have any stills of them?
Not yet.
And how many people made it?
Did Rappaport make it?
Did Daniel Rappaport make it did Daniel Rappaport
make it did Jake Bass make it
at the risk of being
stupid or whatever I don't know who 100 Thieves
is who's that
you are stupid
very big gaming conglomerate
you feel dumb
I did feel dumb
he does that a lot to me
okay I didn't know he was with the 100 Thieves.
He's the founder.
He created it.
Jesus Christ.
Got it.
Did you know that?
You're embarrassing.
Did you know any of this?
I knew Nadeshot.
Isn't that where Jen Simons was?
Where Jen Simons?
Nadeshot's a massive fan of yours, Dan.
Oh, I'm a massive fan of Nadeshot.
He's a Chicago guy.
I love everything he does.
Get him on PMT, bro.
Yeah.
He would love to do that, I'm sure. I think he's tweeted about that before. Yeah, that's it. We's a Chicago guy. I love everything he does. Get him on PMT, bro. Yeah. He would love to do that, I'm sure.
I think he's tweeted about that before.
Yeah, that's a...
We've never really explored how big of a video game nerd TJ is.
Oh, he is.
I used to watch Nadeshot when he was on Optic in his Call of Duty streams.
What was his, TJ, what was his opening line that he would do?
He would end with, like, see a fudging later.
That was, like, a big thing that he did. Yeah. I need to have end with, like, see a fudging later. That was, like,
a big thing that he did.
Yeah.
I need to have...
He, like, invented
video game YouTube.
I need to get, like,
just a setup
where I can just sit down
and play a game
and you just press a button.
I want to make a PC.
Like, I got to get back
into World of Warcraft.
That would be cool.
Having a nice PC
would be sick.
Cool keyboards.
Let's get a sponsor.
I used to love video games.
So cool.
I love them now.
What were your favorites?
I mean, I loved all the sports games.
Madden.
FIFA.
MVP Baseball.
What, 2005?
2005 with Manny on the cover.
NCAA.
Most hours logged.
Call of Duty, pretty high.
I had a big stretch in college where like the last two
years of college i basically would just put a bench press in our living room i would just bench
press watch prices right and then play call of duty for like seven hours then go drink that was
the best so that's an incredible life ever yeah i would never leave my apartment until it was time
to drink i did the same thing without the bench press.
I didn't get in shape, but we had it.
And it was still Bob Barker at the time?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We'd watch it live.
It was the best.
Brandon, you inspire me because you're grown and you have a family, but you make time all the time for video games.
I do.
I play video games pretty much every night.
You know what the secret is for Brandon?
He gets to sleep in.
I don't get to sleep in.
What time do you wake up?
It's not a big deal.
Like 8.
I get up at 8.
I get up at 8.
I think it's more like 8.30.
No, I get up at 8.
I get up at 8.30, 9, somewhere in there.
That's nice.
I would video game.
Yeah, my wife does allow me to sleep in.
You need
your rest for your video game.
My me time is 10pm
to midnight every night, and I get to
play video games.
Sometimes you stay up late as hell.
I was up until 2.30 last night.
Answering questions.
Ran out of melatonin.
I play NBA 2K, FIFA, and Madden.
And then I play every now and then I'll get into a retro kick and I'll throw Sonic the Hedgehog in or something.
Loved Sonic.
I have every setup, every system.
You should be the southern version of old time hockey.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, fellas.
You should.
I'm going to play some Madden 96.
Some Sonic and Tails.
Look at that, you're George. And 96 looks good. Yes, going to play some Madden 96. Some Sonic and Tails. Look at that, George.
That 96 was good.
I have all of them.
You have every console? I don't have all of them.
I have a Nintendo, a Super Nintendo, a Sega Genesis,
a Dreamcast, a 64,
a PS2, and a PS4.
Damn. That's all of them. PS3 sucked
though, right? You didn't have a PS3.
Well, I have one, but I don't
have it set up now. Xbox 360. I haven't got ps5 yet because tj won't get it for me i like this is the most
bullshit thing brandon says two just won't do it big kingdom hearts guy on pistic metal it was big
in uh lego uh nhl hits these games are great yes too right real game week we should do video game
people forget brandon had a show on barcelool Game Time for three weeks. What was it called?
Wait, you had a show that you gave up on?
What was your show
on Game Time? Brandon Walker's
Boomer Gaming Hour.
That's so great. What?
Yeah, shows we didn't even know existed.
Pull that up.
Smitty just had me come in
once a week and I would do Brandon Walker's Boomer Gaming
Hour. I'd play RBIBI baseball and Tecmo ball.
Do you bring it up in a negotiation?
You have an IMDB?
No, I do not.
I should make you one.
I would love to have that.
Great to see.
That would be wonderful.
Brandon Walker's.
Not even my high school's Wikipedia page.
Boomer, what is it?
Boomer Gaming.
There it is.
I made this graphic.
Yeah.
Let him go.
Why didn't you do this?
Looks good.
I did it.
Well, you see when I did it.
February 26, 2020, and then it ended right after that. Why don't you do this looks good i did it there was a well you see when i did it february
26 2020 and and then it ended right after that why don't you start it back up i would watch that
i'd watch the fuck out of that because smitty's no longer on game time and i was doing it for
with smitty i would happen with smitty in game time okay and then and then emirates has never
i would do it but i would i would i would actually i love doing that shit say Say it. Say it. Say it, Sash. Say it. I have nothing to say.
Say it.
All right.
Text it.
Text it.
No.
Cum rags?
No.
I'll sell you later.
That was my favorite part of that entire beef.
That was-
As you not to call me cum rags.
Elite.
There was many parts of that beef.
That was the second best part of that beef.
Yeah.
There's one that's better.
What?
You know.
No.
I'll sign it to you.
Sash, just do it.
Play it.
I'm not going to read it.
I'm not going to read it.
Play it then.
What are we doing?
It's Owen's last day.
Why aren't we holding anything back now?
Yeah.
Now it's not working.
Oh, insane.
My uncle died.
Delivery.
Oh, yeah.
All the time.
Evelyn?
Yeah.
Funny.
Yeah.
But you did find that funny, Sash.
I wasn't the one that brought it up.
KB brought it up. What? I wasn't it one that brought it up. KB brought it up.
What?
I wasn't it.
I brought it up.
Can we at least see the clip?
Yeah.
I don't have the clip.
DJ?
DJ's got the clip.
I mean, this isn't right.
He's always got the clip.
I don't even know what you guys are talking about.
For the record, I didn't want to show this.
I don't know what this is either.
What is this?
What is this?
What the fuck is this?
It's when they were arguing.
What the fuck is this going to be?
It's a two-second clip.
This isn't right. That's time of the day to be? It's a two-second clip. This isn't right.
That's the time of the day to nap.
Well, Owen asked for this clip.
I didn't ask for the clip.
No, it's your last day.
You walked in and asked for this clip.
You guys are all giggling your dicks off.
This has to be hilariously funny.
Let us inside the joke.
There's another video.
Sash, you've never...
We're very gun-shy.
I wasn't the one that brought this up.
There's another video that's much funnierash, you've never brought this up. We're very gun-shy. I wasn't the one that brought this up. There's another video
that's much funnier.
Oh, Gay Joker.
Gay Joker is one
of the funniest videos
of all time.
Yes.
When did he bring back
Gay Joker appeared
where?
Barstool Idol.
Barstool Idol.
I like Horny Batman.
Evelyn has like
three of my top ten.
The SCUBA acronym.
Oh, yeah.
He did that so well. That might be my top 10. The SCUBA acronym. Oh, yeah. He did that so well.
That might be my number one.
That is far and away
my number one.
Brandon Pusk.
Can we just play?
He does a great roam.
Yeah, his roam is incredible.
Yeah, that one's got a lot.
A lot of impressions.
Big time.
He's lost a lot of weight, too.
Has he?
Looks good, yeah.
Damn.
Dude, put on that video of Al going across the street to Al's toy barn.
Yeah.
That shit is awesome.
I want to see it.
Have you seen this Twitter account?
I have not.
Every day they post this.
I can't believe I have to drive all the way to work on a Saturday.
All the way to work.
That does it?
We post it every Saturday.
Every single Saturday they post it.
And look at the fucking numbers, dude.
It's consistent as hell.
I don't understand it.
It's like the ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.
Yeah, I was saying that.
It's like demon time Double cheeked up
On a Thursday afternoon
Had a good run
Yeah Bill Ratchett
Still does that
Friday
We're still doing their thing
Tied
Sad as hell
The real guy
The guy who did that video
With the
Yeah
Yeah
It's super sad
Yeah
Is demon time still happening
Or did Malasek fall off of it
It fell off Why I thought it was still happening It does still happen Malasek fall off of it? It fell off.
Why?
I thought it was still happening.
It does still happen, but it did fall off.
Oh, no.
Malasek.
I think the problem was they came out too strong with the Tiger Woods one.
Their first one and it was like the best video.
They dumped the Godfather.
So UVA is having a bad year.
Yeah.
In football?
Yeah.
And he made a dumb bet about UVA basketball winning the championship.
Who did?
Oh, Demon Time, yes.
I wear that and I don't even know what it means.
Nobody does.
How cool I am.
It's a 100 Thieves thing.
Should we ask Large if he's old money?
Yeah.
Well, no, he would be with Francis and...
Yeah, he would be with them.
They do have a club.
I see them chatting it up.
It's an exclusive group. He's eating, like, avocados. Salmon. They do have a club. I see them chatting it up. It's an exclusive group.
He's eating like avocados.
Salmon.
They're always eating salmon.
Salmon and avocados.
Is Julio old money as well?
No.
No?
No.
Julio...
One of us.
One of us.
One of us.
He's brick by brick bucolic.
He's a legend.
I kind of want to be down on your level.
What?
I had some perks growing up.
What?
I think I was a rung above some of you guys.
You're old money, KB?
No.
I don't want to be. I think I'm above
some of you guys.
Just saying.
I don't think we're all on the same rung. What levels is everybody? I don't know. guys. Just saying. What kind of, what do you have time for? I don't think we're all on the same rung.
What levels is everybody?
I don't know.
I'm just saying.
I think that's a sneaky high.
Yeah?
Yeah.
But I wasn't when I was younger.
It was like when I got into college.
How high are you?
I'm lost.
Talking about how much money you're paying.
All my grandparents were like teaching. Yeah, I was straight middle. That's what I thought too. And about how much money your parents have. All my grandparents were like teachers.
Yeah, I was straight middle.
That's what I thought too, and then it got me.
It's the grandparents that need...
Old money isn't your parents.
It's if your grandparents have crazy money from something.
Yeah.
I never had a lot of money, but all the schools I went to,
I got to rub elbows with people who had it.
That's got to be so cool.
So I get to go over to their houses had it. I got to go over their houses and stuff.
To have your like, oh yeah, my
great-great-grandfather was
an oil tycoon.
Those kids are sad as fuck
anyway. They need
poor kids around to feed
off of genuine happiness that they can't
actually. They thought it was sad that I would
eat all their snacks so quickly, but I liked
it. Yeah, I would ravish people's snacks.
Why, look at Owen.
He's diving into the crispies.
Going to someone's house and they get mad at you for eating their snacks.
Yeah, that's bullshit.
When you're younger, it's like, fuck you, dude.
Yeah, you invited me over.
Yeah.
They're always just the one kid who had the best snacks.
And he'd get, like, protective.
They wouldn't make you go up where their parents were right there.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
If you want them, go get them.
And their mom was there and you had to like go.
You just have to go open the pantry.
Yeah.
Oh, that was the worst.
Dude, just get it for me.
Yeah, that was the worst.
Can you get me some fruit snacks?
Did you ever have like when you were real, this happened when I was really young.
I had one friend who would, he would make his mom mom drive me home after we were done hanging out without him.
He wouldn't come.
Oh, that's brutal.
Never leave me with your parents.
I'd be like, dude, what the fuck?
And he'd be like, dude, I just don't feel like going.
Yeah.
I don't feel like going either.
I kind of respect that.
That's a terrible friend.
The craziest thing is that his mom let him do that.
I think that's even crazier.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, if I were the mom, I wouldn't drive your shitty ass home.
Get your parents to pick you up.
Yeah.
Or at least bring the kid.
Yeah.
And you just had to talk to the mom, and you were just in the backseat?
Yeah, the worst.
Talking to the mom.
Hey.
Yeah.
Just Miller.
Just trying to get her.
Did you ever fuck?
No, I was probably a six.
So.
Mom was shy around the six-year-old, so you had to initiate all the talking.
Yeah, it was definitely her problem.
So do you like driving?
Talk to her and she's like, I always was hoping you'd make a move.
We were always in the car together.
Why didn't you ever make a move?
It's a classic will they won't they.
Did you guys ever have a parent who would take the phones?
No chance.
Take the phones?
I mean.
We're all older than you, dude.
We didn't have the phones.
I don't even think of that.
Yeah, dude.
Phones?
Yeah, I guess that did.
I got my first cell phone when I was like 18 years old.
That was a thing?
They would take your cell phones?
I had like an iPod Touch and the parents would take it and put it in like a box.
What?
When did you get your first cell phone?
Oh.
How old were you?
Yeah, like take your phone.
I got my first like, I had like a, what is it, like a flip phone when I was in like seventh
grade and then I got an iPhone when I was in ninth grade I think.
So I had an iTouch for a while.
I had the same schedule actually.
I was actually really late on that.
Everyone I knew had phones except me.
Your friends' parents would take your iPods?
When I was... Why?
Because they didn't want us going on social media
when we were hanging out.
See this is depressing to me and I'm sure
Brandon maybe even Roan
it's not that I didn't have a phone because This is one kid. hang out. See, this is depressing to me, and I'm sure Brandon maybe even Roan, like,
it's not that I didn't have a phone because I...
This is one kid. Right, I...
Cell phones just didn't exist until I was like...
They did, but, like, very
rudimentary.
You had them in college.
Yeah, yeah. I got my
own phone when I was 18 years old.
I'm fascinated by people who were in college
without any phone. I was 18 years old. I'm fascinated by people who were in college without any phone.
I was in college without a phone.
I don't think I'd ever talk to my parents
if I didn't have a cell phone. What did you do?
Pay phone? Were you just calling yellow cabs?
We had a house phone.
And then you would call each other on that.
Otherwise, you just... Plus, it was a small
town. You didn't really have much to do.
I almost asked if you sent your parents
letters to contact them. I was like am i thinking like the phone was the first piece
of technology that is a very funny idea to be like iphone that was the first way to start it
with the iphone if you're like meeting up with your like in the 80s if you're supposed to meet
up with your friends at a bar and one of them doesn't show up. Yeah. You just don't know what happened.
Yeah.
Like what happened to them.
Our arguments kind of died
because you can't Google them.
Yeah.
I remember trying to get on Facebook
on my razor
and it would take 20 minutes
to load a notification
just for it to be spam
like a Farmville request.
I thought I was getting the message.
Farmville.
People still play Farmville.
Oh yeah.
Isn't it like massive?
I think it's huge. Still? I think I fucked on the message. Farmville. People still play Farmville? Oh, yeah. Isn't it, like, massive? I think it's huge.
Still?
I think I fucked on a people's life.
Yeah, like, people are addicted to it,
and, like, they build their whole life through having Farmville.
Like, there's people who spend tons of money upgrading their Farmville shit.
I fall for all of those games.
What do you mean?
Spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on games like that.
Really?
Tiny Towers.
That's what every game is for kids.
They're building in the pay-to-play
in-game purchases.
Micro-transactions. I was out of college.
Isn't that what FIFA is now?
It's like the pack opening.
That's how Caleb's brother got caught.
That was funny.
Remember, Caleb, way back in the day,
he told a story on Yak that his brother
spent like five grand
and became like the greatest Clash of Clans player in like North Carolina.
And then his parents were like...
He was on the global leaderboard.
Yeah, his parents were like, what are these charges?
That happened to one of my friends.
He did that like with like Xbox.
He just bought a fuck ton of games and then his family moved to Maine.
And he was like, I think that's why we had to move because i spent so much money on xbox real oh my
god yeah you gotta blame the divorce and the kids oh yeah have to yeah i'm gonna do are your
your kids brandon what brandon that would never happen but your is Robux, right? Robux?
What are Robux?
They're an in-game currency, in-game money for Roblox that you spend on upgrades and costumes.
I'm floored because Roblox, when I look at videos, is an inherently shitty game.
It was Minecraft.
Minecraft.
Oh, Minecraft's way better.
Also, I don't play Roblox, so I don't know.
In terms of graphics, Roblox is way worse than Minecraft.
Minecraft is like...
They're both bad graphically, though.
Is it just a world-building game?
It's an interactive world-building and social game.
There's games inside of Roblox.
There's worlds and games that you could build within.
You can do any sort of role-playing or whatever.
There was a bunch of GTA clones.
That's the game where Tommy said,
I'm Tommy from Barstool.
You can play Minecraft in Roblox if you wanted to.
If you want to do something that's escapism,
why wouldn't you want something that's high quality
or very vivid?
Have you ever gotten into Minecraft?
Minecraft, I was addicted.
I've gone like 15 hours with just not speaking,
just doing the smallest tasks in Minecraft.
It's like the most peaceful game of all time.
It's amazing.
I'm with Ron, though, so just sensory-wise,
it's just more calming that way than a realistic game?
Yeah, I mean, it's just very low pressure.
I think people are trying to escape reality.
That's why I play Madden 05.
They don't want the graphics to be
so it's an even deeper form
of the escapism.
But I was thinking of like a sweet ass dragon
or some kind of crazy graphics.
I don't know what they want.
How about that dragon at Yankee Stadium last night?
Fucking scary.
I didn't see it. I didn't see it either.
I saw the tweets about it but I didn't see it. I didn't see it either. Yeah.
I saw the tweets about it,
but I didn't see it.
Dude, you guys shouldn't
have let Emrag sit
on the Cleveland couch.
I think that's what
fucked up the juju.
He, like, infiltrated
your only area.
Yeah, he knows
he's a Yankees fan.
Oh.
There was space on the couch.
You guys have four
on your couch,
and there was only three
on the couch next to you.
Spider and, like,
Tommy Smokes.
I didn't.
Yeah.
Whoa. Holy shit. There's no way that's real remember when they had the going from the bronx if you've never seen panthers had a video like
that and people thought it was actually like happening oh it was a huge panther the big
panther it jumped up that was convincing yeah that is the new thing for like professional like
athletes is like tom brady's always doing the CGI.
Yeah.
Well, watch me throw this football, and then it explodes.
The sky turns yellow.
Michael Vick throw in the stadium.
What was the commercial when they were doing superhuman feats?
Catching balls through wood.
The Redskins.
Or through a wall.
I thought that was real.
fantasy finals.
Cooley?
Yeah, Chris Cooley.
LeBron James hitting 94-foot jump shots.
That was a good one.
Who was the one that caught a ball, caught a ball, caught the other ball?
Chris Chambers.
That was cool.
Evan Longoria won like that too.
Where he caught a ball during an interview.
There's the NBA Christmas commercial.
He's going to kill that woman.
They did Jingle Bells.
Wet.
Worse.
There it is.
You're a fucking bucket.
I am a bucket.
Whoa.
I just thought it was a real tail.
You just reacted like.
A lot of people think that one's real.
Yeah, that was real.
If that were a better backboard.
Yeah, it would have bounced in.
That one's pretty convincing.
That one's good.
That one's good.
That's cool.
Michael Vick throw is also convincing.
Where he throws it like out of the stadium or something.
Anytime something goes out of frame, though.
Yeah, that's when you know.
LeBron just did one the other day where he jumps out of his pool.
That was real.
Yeah.
In his new Nikes.
In his new Nikes.
Wait, I didn't see that.
The Kobe jumping over the car.
Oh, yeah, then kids tried to copy it.
The Kenny Smith copying that is the funniest.
It's the hardest I've ever laughed at a TV show.
I'm on track.
Kenny Smith copying it?
Yeah, Kenny Smith did a parody of Kobe jumping over the car.
This is awesome.
That's hilarious.
That's so funny.
Because it's like found footage.
I never went out of frame.
That's real.
Oh, there we go.
There it went.
Real.
Can we play the getting hit again?
Because that was awesome.
Do the Kenny Smith.
I want to see the Kenny Smith.
It's not going to seem funny the second time around.
Oh, it's the funniest thing you've ever seen.
It was the way Charles Barkley and Ernie laughed that was funny about it.
You don't have that.
You don't have it.
CGI is sweet.
It is.
And the fact that it didn't jersey his pants with CGI.
Yeah, like the original CGI, like Jurassic Park.
Oh, sweet CGI.
We got to see Kobe jump off a car first.
Okay, he's warming up for it.
100 miles an hour.
He's over it.
I told you.
That was real.
I can make that whole shoot for me.
Hold on, that's the wrong foot.
I can put this shoe on the wrong foot, y'all.
You can't exist, boy.
Smooth, very smooth.
That's pretty funny.
That's pretty funny.
Took you by the shoe.
That was good.
That show was hilarious.
It's so funny.
But Charles Barkley didn't get hired by Liv or anything, did he?
No, he's good.
He's good.
He'll be back soon.
But I saw that Tuesday night has a different roster, though.
It's like Shaq and two other people.
They've been doing different rosters on every –
Thursday is really the best night you can get on.
Thursday.
Really is the best show on TV.
You're just –
Scorpion.
Is that your favorite Inside the NBA moment?
Yeah.
What's yours?
Shaq falling?
The Charles Barkley bracelet.
I don't remember.
You've seen that, no?
I'm sure I have, but I don't remember it.
He got gifted a bracelet by a guy in a sauna.
Oh, no.
No, okay.
I'll shut you up.
The hell?
You remember the CGI video of Brandon hitting that golf ball?
Yeah, that was so fake.
Don't do that shit.
Was that fake?
Yep.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, now show the real one.
Oh, look at that.
Now show the real one.
Now show the middle one.
Hold on.
Show the real one.
Freaks put it out there.
I should be on PGA 2K23.
Look at this shit.
Freaks put out the real one.
Oh, my God.
His real one doesn't even look. His real one doesn't even look good.
His fake one doesn't even look good.
Oh, the real one.
You got gut.
I know you were stewing.
It's a real one.
This one doesn't even look good.
Oh, Brandon.
Oh, nice shot.
That looks pretty real, man.
That's real. Yo, you suck. You do a lot of evil. man. That's real.
Yo, you suck.
You do a lot of evil.
You suck at golf, dude.
Jesus, Brandon.
Maybe you should ask a teacher thing or two, huh?
I think it's because you're topping the ball.
Yeah, you're right.
Topping off that ball.
I got something.
Yeah.
You got.
We need to come up with ugly sweater ideas for Christmas time.
Should we do that live?
That's what I was going to say.
Santa Claus spinning a wheel, naughty or nice and wet.
Holy shit.
We all split the profit.
That goes fucking viral.
What about us in a sled? a sled all of us nick you
for santa's helpers and maybe we do all this jumping over the sled
you had one for a kb ugly sweater yeah kb is just an ugly sweater himself What about like a
Kid in a car eating like a hamburger
Fuck you
Why did that take me so long to
It'll be like a Kevlar crew neck
Yeah that'll be good
Would that be funny Seth?
No
My hands just started sweating unrelated what
if we have one that says black santa and it's a black santa on it yeah i like that a lot that
would be good or just santa on a white sweater that is just black yeah what if it's just black
santa but it just says santa that's what i'm saying yeah it says black santa but it's just Black Santa, but it just says Santa? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It says Black Santa, but it's in black.
Oh, it says Black Santa in black?
On a white sweater.
On a white sweater.
And what was your idea, Nick?
You wanted to say Black Santa.
I just wanted to be Santa that's black, and it just says Santa.
Yeah.
It doesn't say Black Santa.
That's how you weed out the bad guys.
Yeah, true, true, true.
What about Black Santa, and it says white Santa?
Yeah.
White Santa.
Which is regular Santa.
It's regular normal Santa.
Yeah, just white Santa.
White Santa.
I like that one.
I like that a lot.
But that's going to be like a dog whistle.
Like someone's going to pick, like white supremacists are going to pick that up.
Yeah.
Like I worship one white Santa.
No, then you have to put like like, an exclamation question mark.
Like, white Santa.
That's ridiculous.
Big Cat, we need you to buy Big Dog.
So sad.
Yeah, let's come up with a Christmas pun.
White Santa.
What?
Since when?
Christmas. Blind Santa. What? Since when? Christmas
Blind Santa
I'm just trying to think of other
Picture of Santa
Just says fake on it
In big letters
Yeah
On the back
Black Santa
Real
Maybe like Santa
With two fucking
Uzis
Two like fucking
AK-47s
And like a fucking cigar
sticking out of his mouth with a sack full of
gifts or some shit like that. That would be awful.
Protect our schools.
He's always watching.
That would be sick.
There's like a knit pattern of it.
I think that sounds sick.
Yeah.
That would be hard all year round.
We've given you some ideas, TJ.
Yeah, thanks.
These are all good.
Some winners.
We got to do that calendar too or what?
Yeah, next week, two weeks, doing a calendar.
We have to have a sour patch kids
for that something yeah some sort of sour patch or what is the thing this was when liz liz organized
that last one and she was like she was like asking people to get like ass naked for yeah i was like
oh yeah i was like i think i'm good liz i got ass naked i think we're someone's gonna have to get
ass naked for this one we'll have to spin the wheel i was like i think i'm good liz and she was like are you serious like you're not gonna do this and i was like well would
you do this and she was like absolutely not like i'd never do this i was like well don't you see
i think what we gotta do is so badly to get naked and we were like clown like she was like i'll at
least rip your shirt so you could see yeah i'd like spray fake sweat yeah how many of us water
i lay down a bed of roses yeah i thought that was fake sweat oh Yeah. How many of us? Water. I lay down on a bed of roses. Yeah.
I thought that was fake sweat.
Oh, yeah.
I thought that was imitation sweat.
Oh, my God, Brandon. Jesus Christ, Brandon.
Oh, you look dead.
I told you.
That looks like.
That's your body?
You look like you're in Courage the Cowardly Dog.
That's a monster from Courage, dude.
What is that?
That's horrifying.
Is that like American Beauty?
Yeah.
You should have had.
But did they vote?
What's going on with your head?
I don't know.
You agreed?
Yeah,
why'd you do that?
This is just a testament
to how bad people
are at saying no,
dude.
No one can say no.
All right,
so we're going to
have to do this.
We'll spin the wheel
for the month
and the pose.
You have to wear,
yeah.
We should get
a bunch of
cheap-ass costumes
and combine a pose with a month.
The costume.
Simultaneous wheel spins or some shit.
Yeah, so the costumes don't make any...
Yeah, so there's 12 costumes, 12 months, 12 poses, and every time we hit one, we take them off.
What?
Did those sell?
No! No one wants that, dude. Did those sell? No
No one wants that dude
It was a blemish on
All of our lives
Imagine having that in your kitchen
Were you in?
A whole month of just staring at Brandon
You just didn't do it?
I said no
Yeah ours was ridiculous
I didn't think about saying no
Melty's was funny
What dude?
But she wanted us both naked, Kyle on my shoulders.
She'd be like, we'll just have Joey take the pictures or something like that.
Oh, it was Enrique.
It was Enrique.
Enrique took my pictures.
It wasn't funny because they made it look too cool and real.
Yeah.
They didn't know how to pull off the concept.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ours is gonna be awesome
Yeah
Oh goodness
God bless
God bless
We're gonna need all the girls
God bless
Here just got a memo from HR
We're gonna need the top 12 girls
To get in the calendar this year
Yeah
And that was you guys saying no, basically.
Yes.
And you're like, I'll wear a t-shirt.
Like, Mel Teases is this whole joke.
They just made it look like a real glass club.
Those aren't even kids.
I mean, it does look awesome.
Looks sick.
She ripped my favorite shirt.
That's really ripped?
Yeah.
It's like a CGI rip.
It's a black t-shirt.
Have you guys ever gone to a club and come out with your shirt just torn to shreds?
Yes.
It's not like a realistic event.
Yes, dude.
I'm going to send you a picture right now.
If I party at the Matrix.
This time I'm in Babylon, that happens.
Yeah.
Last night was crazy.
Just coming home in just ripped threads.
Yeah.
How is that happening?
What dance move is happening?
I know.
Brandon, we got to spin the wheel before you leave.
The stomach of your shirt is ripping.
We got to spin the wheel before you leave.
My buddy Josh used to go out in a shirt that was the most cut off shirt.
It was just like the collar.
Brandon's never coming back.
No, he's not.
Should we spin the wheel?
Probably should.
We got to go do the college football show in a minute.
Owen's gone forever.
Owen, come back in tomorrow.
You can come in tomorrow.
Yeah.
All right.
Special guest tomorrow.
You're not getting paid for tomorrow.
Oh, no, definitely.
You have to pay.
If we just paid like $20 for a seat on the
yak a day, do you think
we make a little
cheddar?
Yeah.
They don't get a mic.
Damn.
We wouldn't be able
to help ourselves.
We would just talk
about the person
every time though.
Yeah.
So God damn
dry.
Let's tell Brandon
it was wet.
We'll tell Brandon
it was wet.
Tell him it was wet and we'll spin Brandon it was wet. Mm-hmm. Tell him it was wet, and we'll spin a wheel.
A wheel?
And we'll get down to it.
We could get him in acrylic nails, I bet.
He's coming back now.
Fuck, dude.
This is fucked.
I can't.
I just think it's snowballing, like out of control.
On your last day, literally.
We're going to be wet on your last day?
Oh, Brandon. I was watching. No, you weren't. What do you mean? You were pissing. Wet on your last day. Oh, Brandon.
I was watching.
No, you weren't.
What do you mean?
You were pissing.
Liar.
In the bathroom.
There's a TV screen in the bathroom.
Goat mouth mammoth.
Holding your cock while watching and listening to us.
Frequently holding my cock during the show, yeah.
How about Joey yesterday said that Nadeau has a heavy dick.
Heavy dick.
That she saw Nadeau's dick, and it was heavy.
Earthy, heavy dick.
Oh, I think he did.
I think he was just like, can I see it?
And Nadeau just showed him a picture of his dick.
Yeah, they both said this.
I love that about Nadeau.
He'll just whip it out.
Or a picture of it.
In a corner by the bar.
You want to see it?
You want to see it?
Sure.
You don't believe it?
Yeah.
I do.
I would be sick to have your dick as your wallpaper.
Yeah.
Everyone always wants to see it.
It's a live photo.
It's a live photo.
What do you think Clemmer's dick looks like?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
I think it has a spine.
I bet it crawls up and down his leg like a fucking cockroach.
It's a skeleton.
You can see everything going on.
It crawls into the toilet to piss.
It's like a skeleton of a mummy.
It flies into the, buzzes into the toilet.
It twists itself off and like fucking gets down.
Yeah, like a dragonfly.
Having a spine.
It blows like a lightning bug.
It definitely has some sort of protective plate.
Yeah.
Is it shit?
Yeah, it's like an ankylosaurus, I think.
And no head.
No.
No head.
It's all the same.
It's like a straw.
It's a long straw.
Yeah.
It's all tail.
It's all tail.
You never see the end.
How long is Glimmer's dick? Infinite?
I don't know. It's also, he can, like,
it's like one of those vacuum cleaners where you can
retract it. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets seen
in the sunlight. It just, shroop,
right back into his body for nutrients.
That's probably gross. Yeah, that's probably gross.
All right, Owen, should we do anything to...
You'll be in tomorrow.
Sing one karaoke song?
No, I think I'll see you more than six times.
Come in tomorrow.
So this is it?
This is it?
Yeah, I mean, I'll probably hop off the act today,
and then I might have to come in Monday or Tuesday
to help these guys record.
Wait, Owen, you really have a picture of your shirt
ripped at the club?
Yeah.
Wait, let me see.
This is the second night of college.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
The second night of college, I went downtown.
Man.
Nice shirt.
Providence?
Yeah, I had no Providence got down like that.
I bought that as my party shirt for the semester.
It was really an out-there pattern.
It's devastating.
And it only made it one night.
My friend named Mike, they used to fucking grab the shirt pocket.
Mike Wargo was the one who really would do it a lot.
What number is he?
It's hard to say.
He's a top ten.
Oh, he's definitely top five.
But he used to grab the shirt pocket if you had a pocket and he would just rip your whole shirt down it was sick i actually
shouldn't have told you that he'll probably do that the same way you get billy's pants like
yeah way easier on a shirt and i would get new party shirts and he just ripped them right
i like that it's funny dude that's It's really funny. It's very funny.
I used to do the-
It works all the time?
Yes.
I don't want to fail at doing it.
No, it works every time.
It's insane how much it works.
It's basically a handle for ripping.
Oh, that's the chaos I'm into.
I used to do, if you go get a coffee, iced coffee with someone-
Slap it?
Slap it right out of their hands.
Oh, no.
It's like another-
You have to go buy them another one, but those moments
are just so funny.
Yeah.
We used to have to call
No Slaps, No Spikes
so people couldn't do that.
Because I just would be
driving with someone
and I'd take their
Clif Bar and throw it
out the window.
Yeah, it's so funny.
Did you ever do
with an ice cream cone?
That's very funny.
Slap an ice cream cone
right out of someone's hands.
In a cool-ass way.
I'm not like regular terrorists. I'm a cool
terrorist.
Didn't you slap my ice cream in
Ohio?
Yeah, in Youngstown I slapped it out of your hands.
Remember the ice cream drops on the yak?
Oh, yeah.
Should we do one last one for your
You could have one last yak
bit request.
Yeah, what do you want to do?
We can duplicate as our last bit for you.
Don't say double ritz.
You want a double ritz?
No, I'd like to finally get the lunch with Dave.
Oh, yeah.
You promised lunch with Dave.
Coward.
Talk strategy.
Yeah, 30-minute lunch with Dave every week.
Yeah.
No request.
No, no request.
Thank you for everything.
I'm excited to stay in the loop, stay in the mix, stay listening.
You're going to listen.
I don't know why you think I won't listen to the show.
Request head.
It's easier if you just never talk to any of us ever again.
I got to split rent with a couple of you guys.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. We do have to do it. We do actually have to pay that. Yes, we with a couple of you guys. Yeah, yeah.
We do actually have to pay that.
Yes, we are a couple months behind a little bit.
What?
Damn, so Dukes is really the poor roommate right now.
Does your landlord care?
Thank you, TJ. Yeah.
Yeah, he's bummed about it.
Yeah, he's kind of pissed.
He's upset.
He's being a hard-o.
What is this song?
One Headlight.
One Headlight karaoke version.
Like industrial bass.
You guys are going to do tryouts? Do you have... I promise we could just end the show sounds like this was your request
you asked for this
now sing Come on, Noah. I just heard. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm going to try a little.
Nothing is forever.
There's got to be something better than in the middle.
Me and Cinderella, we'll put it all together.
We can drive it home.
More rotor.
One hand light.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you all.
God bless.
God bless.
A little teary-eyed.
Praise him, Seth.
My baby boy.
Is there any video footage of Owen's first appearance?
See everyone tomorrow.
Yeah, we'll play it tomorrow, best of Owen.
That's when we say all the nice things about this shithead.
Yeah. It's the act.
It's the act.
That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees pop.
It's the act.
It's the act. you