The Yak - Patrick Beverley Joins to Squash His Beef with Lil Sas | The Yak 7-18-23
Episode Date: July 18, 2023Built like RondoYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Booze is here, so we should play Sporkle.
Yeah.
All day.
Look at that guy.
An IEP headass.
All day.
Why the fuck is the door open?
A little chilly in here.
Wait for you.
Can I start talking?
Why?
I don't know.
There's nothing to talk about. Nothing to say. I got shit to say. I'm I don't know. Nothing to talk about.
Nothing to say.
I got shit to say.
I'm just going to wait.
Okay.
This has been a very good start to the show, I'd say.
I like it.
This is going to be a classic.
Instant classic.
Where's Roan?
North Africa.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah. He had two days back in New York, and then he went from South Africa to North Africa. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah.
He had two days back in New York,
and then he went from South Africa to North Africa. He had a two-day layover in New York.
What's the most inconvenient layover you've ever had?
What did Nick bring?
Going somewhere that's further away than where you're going.
We had one where...
I will not be eating this on the air.
You were flying from Nashville to
Chattanooga, and that's a 20-minute
flight. Oh, yeah. From Atlanta to Chattanooga,
and it got delayed two and a half
hours. Yeah. And we were like, oh, we'll just
rent a car and do the
hour drive. Yeah. And
we forgot that our luggage was still...
Oh.
You had to just...
Kyle was taking a shit
and heard a guy listening to Bussin' with the Boys, though.
That was pretty good.
Oh.
Were you like, I know those guys?
That didn't happen.
Yeah.
Did it happen?
Yeah, I thought it did.
Or was it Fasoli taking a shit in there?
It must have been Fasoli.
I was just going along with it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why did Nikki the Good leave some Italian delicacies?
I think Captain Kahn said all Italian desserts are garbage.
Captain Kahn, and I've talked to him privately about this,
he's losing his mind.
Eternity leave.
I think he's sleepless, and he's just throwing takes.
And they all suck.
He's like on a real hot shit.
What has he said?
Oh, he's just, again, I've talked to him privately about this, and I actually have no problem with what he's doing because said oh he's just he's again i i've talked to him privately about
this and i actually have no problem with what he's doing because i think he's just bored
uh but he's just been getting takes off that are just like he was like all italian desserts suck
uh stop doing the countdown for football season for one two for two okay uh he's never agreed
with a co-worker i'll see somebody again, and it's the first response.
There's other takes.
Oh, Stephen Che couldn't complete one pass.
He had another one, too, about fandom.
Oh, yeah.
He's been gatekeeping fandom.
Gatekeeping fandom.
Yep.
He's just firing off takes.
Yeah, he's been on a heater.
I love Italian desserts.
I think they're good, but they're so rich and so filling.
What about Italian ice, though?
Italian ice is amazing.
Yeah, yum, yum, yum, yum.
The problem with desserts is that ice cream is the perfect dessert.
So, of course, nothing stands up to ice cream.
I'm not a huge dessert person in general.
Nor am I.
I just like candy.
Yeah, that's dessert.
I like sweet, sweet candy.
Yeah, like gummies, like stuff that was made in a lab.
That's the only thing I can eat.
Yeah.
Stuff that just stays in your stomach for thousands of years.
Yeah.
They're going to dig you up and be like, oh, man, this guy ate a lot of Swedish fish.
I took down half a bag of Smurfs.
You took down a bag of Smurfs?
Oh, yeah.
Not bad.
Very tasty.
Smurfs?
I'm playing along.
They're just like gummy bears shaped like Smurfs.
Are they actually called Smurfs?
Yeah, they're Haribo Smurfs.
I've seen them.
I've seen them in general stores.
Yeah, they were good.
Very tasty.
There's Roan, there's Laidath.
You get the hot fudge, the ice cream, the nuts, the bananas, and I get the...
Oh, I forgot to tell you guys.
Actually, no, I won't say it.
Say it.
Say it.
Oh.
You just spill?
Damn near spilled.
But you didn't.
No, I'm not going to say it.
We had a three-hour.
Come on.
Nah.
Is it controversial?
Will it build tension?
Jerry has COVID again.
What?
No.
I didn't say anyone to say it.
You guys made me say it.
Why didn't he get tested?
Yeah, judgment-wise, that's one that you should have been like,
yeah, I won't say it.
You guys told me you wanted me to say it.
You should have backed down and been like, I can't say it.
There's no chance in hell Jerry's taking a COVID test.
How does he know?
Jerry's on the course right now.
The duality of man.
The man is not vaccinated, but he takes COVID tests.
So, uh-oh.
So are we all going to get COVID?
I don't know.
It's over.
I don't.
I will not be testing.
I don't even care about the COVID.
I just don't want to be sick.
That's what I care about.
So then me saying it doesn't matter.
Does matter.
Why?
He's a hypochondriac.
If he feels sick.
Let's.
You specifically it matters.
Let's go by the tests next door and do them live.
Oh.
I will not.
I have too much other shit to do.
I have so much shit.
I'm moving this week.
We don't have to.
Nothing has to change. Wait. No. But then you welcome people to be like. Ign so much shit moving this week. Nothing has to change.
But then you welcome people to be like
Ignorance is bliss.
Did you see that they're doing
the 10x tests in the office?
I thought we should all do it and do
a race to see who has the best. They're testing
your glue clothes, your body fat,
your whatever. You go upstairs,
they prick your blood and they give you a new stat.
You can get body fat tests?
Yeah, I swear.
It was an email that came through during the act yesterday,
and I was like, oh, shoot.
Is it going on today?
I don't know.
Some sort of scans.
Biometric screening.
How long does it come back?
Very interesting.
It'll tell us our cholesterol, glucose, blood pressure, height.
I think like...
Height?
Who's that lady that talked like this? I think it's right away. They prick your blood. Elizabeth Holmes? Yeah, I think it's Who's that lady that talk like this
I think it's right away
They prick your blood
Elizabeth Holmes
Yeah I think it's like
Elizabeth Holmes is the machine
I don't know if I want to know
All that
Yeah truth is like poetry
And most people fucking hate poetry
By the way there's also
50-50% chance
And I am choosing to
Believe the
No believe the 50% That Jerry just faked a test to golf.
Honest to God, that was my first thought when you said it.
I was like, let's go with that.
I spent the last five days with Jerry.
Yeah.
That's true.
Good point.
My throat's a little scratchy now that I think about it.
Not mine.
Oh, fuck. The guy who. Not mine. Oh, fuck.
The guy who drove him dies.
Oh, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, fuck.
He passes away.
But he saved him from his wedding.
He could have got his whole wedding sick.
Wow, true.
It is very funny that Jerry refuses to get vaccinated,
but also tests, like, diligently.
FaceTime Jerry right now.
I don't think I would ever...
Oh, man, I hope he doesn't go, of course. I thought COVID was now. I don't think I would ever... Oh, man, I hope this is a golf course.
I thought COVID was over.
I did, too.
I haven't heard about someone getting COVID in weeks.
Forever.
Like, you just get regular sick now.
Not even really.
I never want to have again what I had when I had it.
But I did lose a lot of weight, which is great.
I only had it for a day, but it was bad.
Nasty.
Oh, he's at the golf course.
We're good.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're good.
He looks fine.
He's at the golf course.
He looks fine.
I'm not going to show the camera.
He's at the golf course.
He's just at the golf course.
He's fine.
Is that Trump?
Yeah.
Is that Trump National?
How are you shooting today?
He's really got COVID.
Yeah.
I've got bad COVID.
Sitting in the pitch black.
In the dark bed.
I don't understand.
He just said, I don't know how I keep getting it.
I'd ask him why he keeps testing.
Why does he test at all?
If you don't test, you never got it.
No, but then I could put other people at risk.
Oh, that's nice.
How many times have you had it, Jerry?
This is my fourth.
Oh.
Do you think would you get vaccinated
or nah? Nah.
That's crazy. Four times is a lot.
Is it bad? Yeah, how are you feeling?
My legs are in pain,
but that's it.
Is that a symptom? Yeah, body are you feeling? My legs are in pain, but that's it. Is that a symptom?
Yeah, body aches.
Jerry gets paralyzed in 2023.
You're like the last guy to die in a war.
I think I'm the last person that's ever had COVID.
I do too.
I didn't know it existed.
Me neither.
So why'd you test?
I just had a funny feeling. I don't know, existed so why'd you test i just had a funny feeling i don't know man
okay all right feel better jerry all right later all right
two years ago they would have like shut this office down well no that's why we all got
there was a weird point in time where Caleb got it,
and me and Roan were talking to Caleb,
and people pulled us aside, and they were like,
hey, Caleb has COVID.
We need you guys to go across the street and test right now.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, there was a little brief blip.
Yeah, period.
Very quick.
It was like a week.
Then we did contact tracing, and then we stopped,
and then everyone Slowly got COVID
Like they wouldn't say
Who had it
Right
We were getting emails
They're like
Another two positives
Yeah
Eventually they just became
It would just be the subject
Of the email
Which would be like
Plus two
Yeah
Two upstairs
Oh thank god
It was just upstairs
Yeah
I'll talk to them
I think I got it twice From being at that house in Philly.
Oh, yeah.
That was bad.
That was an incubator.
I think I have it right now.
Yeah, you might.
It was kind of awesome at points.
Like, we would, when we used, like, we would have,
they'd be like, we're shutting down the office this week.
Yeah, it's just, like, snow days.
Yeah.
So, are you guys mad that I said it?
No.
I was feeling bad that if I didn't say it, then what if you got sick?
Then I wouldn't have ever tested.
I'm still not going to.
Wouldn't have ever known.
And Jerry, I mean, the beauty of the Yak is everyone speaks forward.
There's no direct face-to-face.
He didn't even speak the last two hours.
Exactly.
It was perfect.
He must have known there was COVID in there.
He swallowed it.
He swallowed it.
I will say it kind of gives me an opportunity to cancel some things this week.
Shut some things down.
Oh, bro.
Drake's in town.
For real.
We're going to Drake.
Our favorite little boy.
Yeah.
I have tickets too.
Ian Rohn are gone.
Oh, me and Mresh. This day.
He doesn't have tickets.
I'm going to go.
All right. But you've got to email the people from Game Time now.
I'll just buy them.
I want to support Drake.
They're like, wait, where's Drake?
I'm going to support the artist.
I'm going to pay full price.
I'm going to MSG on Sunday.
Oh, really?
He's at Barclays.
Not with COVID.
I'm not going to be able to see him.
I don't think he has it.
I think he just wanted to nap.
Five days from today, you'd be good.
True.
I better get it now.
It's the perfect time to get it.
Yeah.
You need to lick Jerry's microphone.
I was with him nonstop.
What is that book where they all have...
I've got it.
They all have fucking some sickness,
and they, like, breathe on each other
so they can get it instantly so that they'll beat it.
Velveteen Rabbit.
Is it actually?
I think that was the Clemson football team.
That book was morbid. That was some Clemson football team. That book was morbid.
That was some Murakami shit.
That was a theory that Clemson was doing
that. Did any of you guys ever go to a
chicken pox party? I did.
And that's how I got it, yeah.
I never had the pox.
You could die. You never had it?
I think when you get it when you're old, it's like serious.
Thanks, guys.
Have you guys all had chicken pox?
Yeah, thank you.
It's still vivid in my mind even though I was five.
What was the bath?
They would put you in the bath with like corn syrup or something.
Yeah.
I remember they used that.
I thought that was for poison ivy.
Yeah, I had to use cream.
That's for like any itch.
It's like for any rash.
Yeah.
I mean, rectal itch, you could probably take an oatmeal bath.
Wait, do chicken pox still exist?
I'm clear.
I got the miracle work.
Do they?
I don't know.
I haven't seen yours. No.
They had hand and foot.
Hand, foot, and mouth. That was the worst
shit that ever happened to me.
You got it. You're weak.
All Pat's fingernails and toes fell off.
Like, literally.
Toes fell off.
All his nails fell off, and his, all his nails fell off.
And then they all grew back jaggedy and he was getting like caught on our sheets and
on his socks for like a year.
It was the worst thing that has ever happened to us.
It was burned, sting, itch, anything like that?
It burned.
You felt so sick.
Cause it's like in your system too.
Like you can't swallow.
You feel like, like your horrible fever spots all over your body that are just sore.
Like sores.
You break out in sores and your nails fall off.
Like our fingernails and fingers and toes started falling off.
Our son barely got it.
He got a small rash and he was fine.
Most adults don't get it.
I know.
I just looked it up.
It says more than 95% of American adults have had chicken pox
and about 4 million people get chicken pox every year.
Since the chicken pox vaccine was introduced in 95,
less and less children are getting the disease.
Okay, so we are a downward trend.
Right before, yeah, I had it as a child.
Damn, I didn't know it was that common.
I got the vaccine.
Same.
So I never got it.
I missed it to my parents for it. So I never got it. I missed my parents for it.
Wish I could suck it
out of me. There's islanders
still getting leprosy.
What? Yeah, bad. Hockey
players?
Natives of islands.
Oh. Come on.
Or mota-islands. Matt Martin?
What islands are we talking about?
Didn't they used to put leopards on it?
Onesians and stuff.
Is leprosy from leopards?
No, no.
They just look like leopards.
I think there's no D.
No O either.
Which is the craziest part.
What?
L-E-P-E-R-S-Y?
L-E-P-E-R-S-Y?
S, maybe E-Y.
Maybe, I think, no E-Y.
This is some great yakking we're doing right now.
Yeah, spelling it.
It's informative.
It is.
Some of the leopard colonies, there used to be some off Hawaii, I believe.
And the doctors are just like, I'm going to get it and die.
The ones who would go treat them.
Truly heroic.
Yeah.
Why treat?
That's insane.
Back in the day, it was known as a holy disease because I think Jesus helped fix the one leper or whatever like that.
So they would go and live in these communities.
And there was even a military division where it was like a whole unit of dudes that had leprosy.
And they were extra scary because they looked like zombies,
but they were kind of revered from afar.
People were still grossed out by them,
but they also respected the lepers.
Did Jesus heal lepers?
Or he just walked with them?
No, I think the one guy...
I think the guy he brought back from the dead had leprosy.
Lazarus.
Yeah.
I thought he was just old.
I don't know.
It was on Twitter.
It wasn't a verified account, but I read the whole thing.
Leprosy, your body parts fall off, right?
I know it soars.
You get lesions and sores all across you.
Skin melts?
You end up losing body parts?
Do you?
You lose function.
You might just rot to shit.
I don't know if they fall all the way off, but I don't know.
I think you start losing function of your limbs.
He just definitely got the leprosy.
Like, if he was messing with the guys.
Let me Google if there really was a military leprosy unit or not. Your mom thought you had leprosy. Like, if he was messing with the guys. Let me Google if there really was a military leprosy unit.
Your mom thought you had leprosy, right?
My mom thought I had fucking...
Why am I blanking on all these diseases?
Dude, it's fucking long.
It's short COVID.
The ones in your brain.
Meningitis.
Order of St. Lazarus.
Yes, meningitis.
Swelling of the brain.
Swelling of the brain.
Is that what I'm thinking of?
Yeah, meningitis. Are you fucking with me? No, I think that's it. Is that what it is. Yes, meningitis. Swelling of the brain. Swelling of the brain. Is that what I'm thinking of? Yeah, meningitis.
Are you fucking with me?
No, I think that's it.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, meningitis.
My mom thought I had meningitis
because I called her
and I was like, yeah.
I was like, my neck is so sore.
I was just like talking
and walking to class
and she was like,
I hope it's not meningitis.
Yeah.
I was like,
what the fuck are you talking about?
That's how like,
everyone always says like,
I'm a hypochondriac.
It's because of my mom.
My mom would put ideas in my head. I told you about how I had like, I had like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's how, like, everyone always says, like, I'm a hypochondriac. It's because of my mom. My mom would put these ideas in my head.
I told you about how I had, like, I had, like, a kind of, like, a lazy-ish eye because I was tired.
It happens sometimes when I'm tired.
And my mom was like, she made me go to the doctor to get, like, a scan to see if I had a brain tumor.
And she was, like, crying.
You didn't have any headaches or anything?
No.
They were literally like, yeah, there's nothing wrong with you.
They were like, do you feel bad? And I was like, no. I didn't even know headaches or anything No they were literally like yeah there's nothing wrong with you They were like do you feel bad
And I was like no
I didn't even know why I was there
She never told me why we were going
She was like I just want you to get your eyes checked
Before you know you got a brain scan
My mom did the same shit to me
And then they look through your eyes
Into your brain
I pretended to see double
So I could skip school one day
I was like I'm seeing double
And she made me get a CAT scan to see if I had a brain tumor I was to see double so I could skip school one day. I was like, I'm seeing double. And she made me get a CAT scan to see if I had a brain tumor.
I was not seeing double.
You guys got to start creating some boundaries with your mothers.
You shut the fuck up, dude.
Hi, Mrs. Bauer.
Yo, what up?
Kyle has COVID again.
She's off.
I think she's done.
What?
You're off?
Done watching.
You told her or what?
No chance she's dropping this habit. I think. I think she's done. What? She's off. Done watching. You told her or what? No chance she's dropping this habit.
I think.
I think so.
She went to Yellowstone and said, yeah, I kicked the habit like you told me to.
Like a smoker?
She had the patch?
She had to go out to the wilderness?
Hey, enough about this.
Listen to this.
Oh.
Okay.
Connor Griffin drove 11 hours to South Carolina without listening to anything.
What?
In complete silence.
I respect that.
He told me before and then he was going to try to do it.
I said, you're crazy.
He did it on.
But I'm interested.
I'm intrigued.
He tried to do it?
He did it.
And he said that it got progressively better.
Hell no.
Oh, no way.
Hell no.
I'm interested.
Did he say what he thought about?
Like what?
Yeah, I didn't get that far.
His mind definitely wandered.
He definitely had an hour that he forgets that he was driving.
I think it was probably more dangerous.
Yeah.
Oh, I go through some crazy mental.
My mind goes to dark places when I'm on drives like that.
It starts off fun.
It starts off like a blast.
We should try something smaller maybe because I bet
you he had a blast in South Carolina.
I don't know if I could just do 11 hours without
listening to something.
It's usually at the part of the road
trip where you almost get into a 10 car pile
up. Then I usually sit in silence for a good
two hours. What?
About all my actions.
You ever been having fun driving
and then you almost get. Oh yeah,
where you get a little scared,
you scare yourself.
Sobers you up a little.
Yeah,
and then you turn the music off.
Sobers you up.
Silence.
Skates.
Yeah,
you just put a penny in your mouth
and you almost get in an accident.
There you go.
Sobers you up.
Yeah.
Yeah,
that's fucking crazy.
11 hours?
By himself?
Did you see the QB1 show?
Have you watched that yet?
I started it.
Did you see the thing that Kirk Cousins has where he, like,
straps something to his head and he, like, watches videos,
and when he starts to lose focus in the video,
like the video dims down to kind of remind his brain to reset his focus
or some shit?
Oh.
It's got to be something like that.
I don't know, but it made me very aware of how little I focus on anything that I...
Oh, I...
Zero focus.
Even, like, I was watching the show, and I was, like, on my phone.
I was like, fuck, let me focus on this show that I'm watching.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How often are you fully focused?
Very, very, very rarely.
It's more like for only spurts of a minute.
Nick, I think, is focused as fuck.
Yes, you are.
Focusing on his haircut.
He looks good as hell.
I think I accidentally went to one of those sexy barbershops
where the chicks will cut your hair very close to you
and give you tequila.
I like it.
It looks...
Did that happen?
Yes, yesterday.
Oh, wow. You've basically gotten the perfect... He gave you tequila? Yeah. Messy hair. I like it It looks Did that happen? Yes yesterday Oh wow
You've basically gotten the perfect
They gave you tequila?
Yeah
Messy hair
Yeah messy but not
I always wanted that
Every time
The barber that I go to
They always offer to give me an espresso
And I'm like
I don't want fucking coffee
Coffee breath
There's girls in tennis skirts
And like
Dancing and stuff
That sounds awesome
And they were walking there
And I was like
You want tequila?
How much did you tip?
Sick
Like $4,000.
You went to a strip club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen the Dick...
Who's the Dick Barber?
The Dick Barber.
I saw his rates online.
Exclusive cuts.
Yeah.
What's he up to?
They're all just hanging dong
and sucking each other off.
There's usually a third guy there.
What do you mean?
Who?
Just naked barber with a big naked barber.
Brandon Barber.
He's usually cutting your hair, and then there's a third guy sucking off the guy getting his haircut and jerking the barber off.
Where did you guys see this?
Is this in fiction or what is it?
Oh, this is real.
I've seen this.
This has been around for probably, I would say, probably close to eight years.
I don't understand the words you guys are saying.
Say it again. Say it again.
Brandon Barber, he gives exclusive haircuts.
And there's a guy sucking another guy
off while he's making haircuts.
What the fuck are you saying?
This is a blowjob service.
The barber has a massive
dick.
So wait, are the haircuts good?
Fresh ass cut.
So a gay guy has two other gay guys living in his
house and he invites people. Oh, no, no.
This is a real barber shop.
There's just other people getting normal haircuts
at the other chairs. I've seen just naked barber
shops where all the barbers are naked.
Can you send me?
It's a great service.
I can't play it because of the three naked guys
in every clip. And the porn, the graphic
dicks.
Are they doing meat spin on the barber chair?
Can someone just show me?
Just look up the naked barber.
Where did you guys see this?
Yeah.
Twitter.
My algorithm doesn't show me that. Sass told me about it.
I get extreme right wing shit on my...
I get this one guy.
Do you get Ian Miles Chong or whatever?
Every minute of every day.
Do you know that he's never stepped foot in America?
Singaporean.
I found that out yesterday.
Malaysian.
All his tweets are like, look at Philadelphia.
Look at Chicago.
Look at San Francisco.
America's a wasteland.
Is he the one that posted?
He posted a video yesterday of Philly.
He's never stepped foot in America. Lives in the jungle. He got He posted a video yesterday of Philly. He's never, he's never set foot in America.
Lives in the jungle.
He got the cleftest of lips too.
Is that possible?
Dude, get your fucking, get our country out of your fucking mouth.
Okay?
It's so, it's just clickbait, dude.
Everything is just for like people to.
It's the worst people.
Twitter has now started to reward the worst people.
And it's all interaction-based fucking...
What's the reward?
That's what Cons is trying to do.
Cons is making probably 50 grand off Twitter this year.
Cons and Jack Mack are probably cashing out on Twitter.
Cons gained 2 million followers on Twitter since his baby was born.
It's crazy.
What's his hill that he's fighting for?
Yeah, what is he doing right now?
Is he talking about the nuclear family unit or something?
Or the benefits of Catholicism?
He ought to
That shit really plays right now
Catholicism is making a huge comeback
Oh, did you see the dad with the seven kids Catholicism?
Never mind
That's a big hot Twitter thing right now
All of the internet has been broken down
As of recent into
Racism you gotta be really racist
You have to like actually
No yeah I'm getting a lot of racism
A lot of racism
You have to actually want to like kill women
Like you don't
Not even like oh my ex girlfriend dumped me
I hate her.
You want there to be a modern
day holocaust for women.
That's the other side of the internet.
And then Catholicism, huge.
Taking over. Blowing up.
And also those people
hate women.
Catholicism, also, there's an
overlap of people who are like,
we gotta find all the pedophiles and make sure that everyone finds God in their life and goes back to the Catholic Church.
Which is funny because, yeah.
Mobius strip.
They're literally the Tim Robbins, like who we're all trying to find the guy who did this.
All the hunks are converting to Islam.
Really?
Yeah.
That's honestly a better
They're converting to Islam, but a lot of them are also
preaching the lords,
preaching the Bible. Easier loophole to control
the ladies. Yeah.
Good point. Smart.
There's a gender war happening on Instagram
reels. Who's winning?
The fellas. The men.
The boys.
But it's like unsettling.
We talked about this on a...
We all recorded together
and I looked up,
I looked on Instagram
to see how long it would take me
to find something
that was insanely misogynistic.
And I found at the top comment,
it's just like a girl
making a normal video
and the comments are like,
all women are the same.
I fucking hate her.
It will swing back, the pendulum.
I don't think it will. I don't think it's
real. Maybe Barstool
will become retro cool.
We liked it when it was light misogyny.
Second wave feminists.
I saw Kelly Keegs.
I was scrolling Twitter the other day and it was Kelly Keegs saying
taking a break from Twitter because I can't post anything
without a million dudes being like, you dumb bitch.
And right underneath it was Robbie
and it was him showing
my dog all the great comments she gets
all day long and it was like dogs are better
dogs have it way better than
ladies right now
they'll be like a go fund me
for a kid with like terminal cancer
and people are like eh
and they'll be like look at this dog
almost got hit by a car.
Or like this dog fell into a pool.
They were able to revive it.
Everyone's like, oh my God, thank God.
I've liked every GoFundMe I saw on Twitter.
Retweet.
No, no, no.
That's signal boosting.
Yeah.
Thank you, TJ.
I'm a big donator.
Yeah.
Always donating.
What percentage of GoFundMe people are scamming?
I don't know, but I donated to a GoFundMe recently.
I didn't know that GoFundMe now gets a tip.
Have they always gotten a tip?
Yeah, they do.
The GoFundMe tip is 15.
Is it 15?
You can select zero, though.
Oh, no, not anymore.
This was automatic.
I'm pretty sure you can select.
It automatically jumps to it, but you could.
I haven't donated in a month or so, but.
Where or how does the founder live?
He's got to be in Malibu.
There's no doubt in my mind that he's on a bluff somewhere.
Have any of you ever been scammed by a fake GoFundMe?
Never.
A guy came up to me.
I think you can.
To pay for Help his son get
Little league
Uniforms
Yeah
And he just took my phone
And sent him $50
On Venmo
I had that happen
Yeah
But I don't think
It was real
No
Definitely not
I donate to a
Chicago charity
Softball event
But it's
White Sox Dave's
The one who hits me up
I'm pretty sure
He just takes credit for it.
That's the closest I've been to Spinks game.
Yeah, he's definitely getting it.
The money still goes to the charity.
I think he shows up and he's like,
he gives that money?
He takes the accolades.
Oh, Frank, don't do it to him.
Whoa.
Is he in?
He's been looking really good lately.
He's also been wearing the turn of the century hats.
All circular ones.
I fucking love them.
Oh, he's just looking for an ear.
What did Frank say yesterday?
He was talking about weed.
He was like, I got some edibles at my house.
He's like, they're small though, only 10 grams.
Uh-oh.
Not 10 milligrams, 10 grams.
His computer stopped working today.
Oh, no.
And his screen went out, just gone.
And Kelly Keegs was like, oh, how long have you had your computer?
He said, three years.
And Kelly said, oh, that's not very long.
And Frank said, I do a lot of work.
Sportsy's like, does he still update Sportsy's?
Oh, I think he sold it, didn't he?
Yeah, for two bill.
Little less.
He was on Hisporkle yesterday for Richest American.
Dude, he was in the middle of the office yesterday.
Like, there's all these new rooms where you can do stuff,
and he's just like,
all right, Billy, happy birthday.
Just screaming.
A lot of birthdays today, too.
People are pissed.
I might have seen a tweet, and I won't. I have seen it, too. People are pissed. I might have seen a tweet and I won't.
I have seen it too. Is it a screenshot?
I saw it too.
Oh, it's so funny. The person is trying to tell on
Frank, but they don't realize that
it's actually Frank just being
the man.
Oh, I saw that. Someone hitting up
Frank being like, hey, one of my
friends in the hospital had a medical
emergency, was hoping you could cheer him up, and Frank just replied and said, tell him to buy a cameo.
Yeah.
That's a real cash.
That's business, baby.
Yeah, that's business.
You think Bezos is giving free shout outs?
Hell no.
Fuck no.
Hell no.
He didn't even let his employees piss.
Bezos probably doesn't do the numbers that Frank does on cameo.
No way.
No?
There was a lot of birthdays today.
That would be funny if Frank just keeps grinding Cameo,
and then one day he just has a Richie Rich mansion.
It's coming.
What do you guys think I was doing this whole time?
He becomes the first billionaire off of Cameo.
Buys the Mets.
Yeah.
And they're just really good.
He just knows exactly what to do.
And he hates it. Yeah. And they're just really good. He just knows exactly what to do. And he hates it.
Yeah.
All they do is win, and he's like, God damn it.
It's the good old days.
Yeah, bitch.
A perfect season.
You think Frank would fire himself if he was the owner of the Mets?
Hell no.
No.
But he lives relatively similarly as he did when he was still working at the courthouse.
Yeah.
He got a nicer apartment.
Nicer apartment, but same stuff everywhere.
Doesn't really buy that much new stuff.
I guess he goes on a lot of trips now.
I don't think Barstool pays for him to just travel around and throw out first pitches.
They technically do.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
They technically do.
But also driving to Florida is like
probably one of the cheapest ways you could do it.
Like, he doesn't really fly too many places.
How many takes of gas is that?
How many miles is Florida from New York?
A lot.
I guess you have to fill up three or four times.
700?
Four times?
I don't know.
Maybe less.
I don't fucking know.
Now I feel like
it would probably be like
at least like eight.
No.
No.
I don't think so.
You get to Florida?
No, it's probably like four times.
Really?
If your tank is like,
what, 400 miles?
How many miles is it to Florida?
Yeah, so less.
Oh, that's farther than I thought.
In a half times.
That's crazy.
That's way farther than I thought.
You should just stay out of any conversation with Miami.
Yeah, I know.
Miami's throwing me for a flight.
We just got to get there.
I'm just thinking of the wrong state.
Oh.
Across the country.
You got to go to Miami, Sass.
Yeah. I don't know if I would like Miami. You wouldn't. I heard to go to Miami, Sass. Yeah.
I don't know if I would like Miami.
You wouldn't.
I heard it's a terrible comedy town.
Really?
Yeah, that's what, whenever we have comedians on, we ask them, like, what's underrated,
like, the worst comedy town.
They always say Miami.
Because they have, like, good weather and, like, beautiful beaches, women, and food.
Yeah.
They don't need comedy.
There's nothing to laugh about.
Yeah.
Life is awesome.
Yeah. Beautiful places, like, I think, like, Italy, France. Like, I think there's some places that just don't need comedy. There's nothing to laugh about. Yeah. Life is awesome. Yeah. Beautiful places like, I think like Italy, France,
I think there's some places that just don't have comedy.
Yeah, because I asked... It's got to be more
suffering. Yeah, I think it was Tom Segura.
I was like, what? Or maybe it was... Big J.
It was Big J. I was like, what's
underrated the best place to do comedy?
He's like, Ohio. He's like, the whole
state of Ohio rules. Yeah. Ohio
is... Indianapolis was a great comedy. Yeah, Indianapolis for sure. I actually did a show in Ohio recently. It was awesome. Ohio's like the whole state of Ohio rules. Ohio is. Indianapolis was a great.
Yeah, Indianapolis for sure.
I actually did a show in Ohio recently.
It was awesome.
Yeah.
People want to laugh.
They need to.
And people who need it.
They need the laugh.
Mm-hmm.
Ohio isn't to anything.
Like stereotypically.
Yeah, it's kind of everything and nothing.
Right.
All at the same time.
Wombus has a big comedy scene.
Yeah.
Yeah, they do a bunch of don't tell shows.
Yeah.
Wasn't Columbus on pace to be, or weren't people projecting it to be one of the biggest cities in the country by 2050?
It's the biggest in Ohio.
Maybe that was just Ready Player One.
You're going to Cleveland?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Columbus is my favorite city.
Yeah, I like Columbus.
I like Columbus a lot, too.
Ready Player One.
Cleveland's awesome.
Cleveland's nice.
Cleveland in the last 10, 15 years has gotten a big facelift.
Shout out to them.
Hilarity is in Cleveland.
It was one of the nicer comedy clubs I've ever been to.
It was like a fucking cruise ship.
Toledo, I have the key.
That might be the only downfall. You think that's a downfall? Toledo, I have the key. That might be the only downfall.
You think that's a downfall?
Toledo, yeah.
Steubenville sucks.
Like Cincinnati?
You guys like Cincinnati?
I haven't been there.
It's nice.
I like Cincinnati.
Youngstown's awesome.
Youngstown has great pizza.
Athens is great.
Why don't you like Youngstown?
It's nice to pass through.
It's probably nice for a weekend.
We had a great weekend in Youngstown. A bunch of good weekends
in Youngstown. I lived there. I know, that's where it probably
sucks to do. I house-hopped there.
But you didn't really know it. We went for
48 hours. It was awesome.
I made zero friends in two years,
to be honest. We had tons of friends. Quite depressing.
Twinsburg, where the Twink Fest is. You had no friends
in two years? Not in Youngstown.
What did you do? I would go to Pittsburgh,
Cleveland. What did you do when you got off of work?
Look at Twitter.
Refresh it until my brain was so pressured.
There was so much tension and pressure that I would just somehow be unconscious.
What were you doing there?
Early intervention.
I would go into homes and work with the families, with the kids.
Okay.
Were there ever really bad
circumstances?
Almost always, yeah. Scary, bad.
Like a lot of horrible situations.
Like dirty?
Some of the dirtiest. Unimaginably
dirty.
Did you have a TV?
Yeah, but I never used it.
It's crazy the way that
like some people just like
will bring kids into the world
just like having like
no regard for the kids
that they're bringing
into the world
they keep
they keep
yeah they're just like
oh I'm gonna get
I'm gonna get 10 of them
totally
I'm not talking about
your gainfully unemployed
or gainfully employed ass
there was just like
it was crazy
one time the whole living room
area was sticky obviously but
there was a
mysterious mush
everywhere and I figured out it was
the kids were chewing
up like Cheerios
with like milk in it and then spitting it out.
So I got it all over my
shoes.
I say this with love, but I love obligatory.
But kids are straight up not a good timeline.
You've got to really want it.
You've got to really want it to really be able to enjoy it.
That sounds bad.
No, it makes a lot of sense.
It sounds bad.
You've got to really.
It should be intentional.
The best way to describe it is like a four-year-old or even a two-year-old, but a four-year-old
especially.
It's essentially my son dictates happiness of our house and he can just one day decide
to be a terrorist and one day decide to be the coolest kid in the world.
Really?
You're just basically beholden to a four year old's mood.
That's crazy. Every day at pickup
I'm like I'm either about to have a great time or I'm about
to get bullied. Right.
Until bedtime. Right. I think a kid is
like choosing to change every aspect
of your life but you don't know how to do
it. Yeah.
And they're so good at school. I know
it. And then they come home and they're like
well you can't get rid of us.
They know that.
They fucking know.
That's like when I first adopted Stella,
the first two months I had her, she did not bark.
And then when she was like, oh, these people love me
and won't get rid of me, she just never stopped barking.
She was like, I'm good.
You've got to fake get rid of her just to...
They fucking, they know it. You ever had to fake get rid of her just to. They know it.
You ever had two dogs at once?
No.
That's crazy.
A dog sat with a friend's dog while having Stella.
They team up and they rotate barks.
So they'll bark.
Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.
And it goes on for hours.
Tennis match?
And you're just, shut up!
And they don't.
They don't.
They don't even know what they're barking at.
They just run around the house barking.
You're the best at quiet screaming.
I would say, though, Kate, and you probably agree with this,
when the kids are good, there's nothing like it.
It's basically just, you're just living on a roller coaster at all times.
Lows are very low, but the highs
couldn't be higher. Highest highs on the planet.
Some of the kids
I saw would bark
before they would use words
because they heard their dog more than
their family. That's why I think
especially once you have that shit
hurts even more because you're like, they're so
sad. Oh my god.
I think that's awesome.
That would be so,
they just never learned how to speak
and they just only talk like dogs.
They just speak dog.
Yeah, that's what the Whitakers,
an inbred family in West Virginia,
that's what they're on.
They're all barking.
Shit, they're on.
Really?
If you were raised by a pack of dogs,
probably like understand
what they were saying and shit.
Yeah.
The Whitakers are doing well though.
Are they?
Yeah, they're like,
one died,
but like the rest of them are kind of better.
They always make it seem like if you get raised by dogs, you'll just grow up to be, like,
a handsome white kid with dreadlocks and, like, blue eyes or some shit like that.
Marry the princess.
Yeah.
It's not like that.
Well, I don't know.
Like, when George of the Jungle was running with those horses at the wedding, do you remember
that?
George of the Jungle.
Have you ever seen George of the Jungle? No. Oh, at the wedding. Do you remember that? George of the Jungle. Have you ever seen George of the Jungle?
Oh yeah, there they are.
Oh shoot.
Was George of the Jungle
Brendan Fraser?
Yeah.
It was just like a hot
blue eyed white guy
with dreadlocks.
Yeah, raped by apes.
Same with in Avatar
The Way of Water.
There's like a hot
like
Yeah, you're right.
They all are hot
when they're raised.
It definitely doesn't
go down like that
no
you'd definitely wind up
looking like these people
disgustingly ugly
yeah
you were raised by dogs
yeah
what the hell
you would have
zero skills
you told somebody
like yeah
I was raised by wolves
they'd think you're like
sexy
yeah they'd be like
oh my god
that's so incredible
you'd be like
matted
that's why women
are losing the war
because they're like oh my god that would's so incredible. You'd be like matted. That's why women are losing the war because they're like, oh my god,
that'd be fucking hot.
That'd be hot as fuck. Holy
shit. I could fix him.
He starts licking his own asshole.
Yeah, I invite him over. He walks on all fours. I'm cleaning
myself. Sass would always
be scooting because he'd never get his poop out.
Eat some grass,
Sass. It'll help you digest.
Just going up to a girl in the bar and licking her ass.
Sniffing it, yeah.
Sniffing random puddles of piss.
It's your fucking deal.
Sorry, I meant to say hello.
I was raised by wolves.
That might work.
Girls might be like,
wait a minute.
He went up.
Excuse my boy.
He was raised by a pack of wolves. That's what girls want.
So I'm going to come up and lick their ass.
This on them.
That shit's gross.
We don't have COVID.
No.
Jerry doesn't.
His legs hurt. That's like a. Fucking COVID. Jerry doesn't. His legs hurt.
That's like a pretty common symptom.
They always do.
Being sick.
Just aches.
Just regular sick.
My legs are always hurting when I'm sick.
I wonder why.
I don't know.
Your knees when it rains sometimes.
You ever get that?
No, never.
You need the real Anthony Fauci in here.
Did you guys hear Robert, or no, JFK's grandson talking about restaurants?
That was absurdly dumb.
What?
What was he saying?
He was like, restaurants are fucking stupid because you have to sit there and they make you read to get your food.
He was like
sign for me.
People just say shit
and like try and make it
like they're like
making a crazy good point.
He has good hair
so people are like
oh yeah he actually
knows what he's talking about.
So I have to ask them
what they serve.
I've never tasted any of it
and then they get to decide
what they put in my stomach.
What?
You just don't go
to a restaurant. It's that big of a deal stomach? You just don't go to a restaurant.
It's that big of a deal to you. You just don't go to a restaurant.
Can I watch this? I don't get it.
I'm very curious.
Wait there to eat something that we don't get to
choose really what it is.
Yes you do.
You don't know what any of them are going to taste like
or what's good.
We'll eat there and it'll be covered in sugar
and then we're going to sit there for most of the time
and wait for some guy to come up and ask sugar. And then we're going to sit there for most of the time. Probably just finish burying a body on that beach.
And wait for some guy to come up and ask us some question.
And we're going to have to fucking talk to some guy about what we want to eat.
Who is the moron encouraging you to turn the camera off?
For food put inside of our body really matters a lot.
And we're going to let them tell us how to do it.
And then we're going to sit there for a while and we're going to wait.
And then we're going to need a couple more minutes to look at the menu.
Who's laughing at this?
Whoever's laughing really wants to have sex with us.
His mom.
This just sounds like he's never been.
It sounds like his parents always picked a restaurant for him.
Or he's probably living a Kennedy lifestyle of like four-hour dinners every night.
I don't get what he's saying.
He's saying he probably has grown up with private chefs
to where he says what he wants.
No menu.
They find anything.
You spend hours and hours eating at restaurants.
I also saw the neurodivergent community
trying to claim him, being like,
yes, see, this is what we're talking about.
What?
He's just reading the definition of a restaurant
but the tone of a TED Talk.
Incredulity. He's like, the definition of a restaurant, but the tone of a TED Talk. Incredulity.
He's like, what is this?
So then some fucking guy can decide.
Have you ever been in public?
He's doing his job.
I think restaurants are the best thing in the world.
Yeah.
It's the simplest concept.
It's also all your choice.
You choose which restaurant to go to.
And then you choose. Three will you could possibly have with food aside from like foraging.
And it's on demand.
They bring you it to your specifications however you want it.
And all you have to do is say it.
Like he just doesn't want to say it.
And you don't have to do the dishes.
He doesn't want to read it.
Like what is his point?
He's like instead you could go lie down.
Like bro you're just depressed. Yeah. You just don't like shit you just have long covid who's that there was that woman
i think she's a politician maybe she was like ever since covid like food hasn't tasted as like very
good like you know like sounds have been like music hasn't sounded great and everyone's like uh you have long
cove it's like ever since the lie of covid i haven't been able to taste anything that is
preposterous that was a terrible point though and the fact that people were fucking applauding him
crazy what and that's jfk's nephew i think it's JFK's grandson. That whole family really went off the rails.
Yeah.
They lobotomized one of their sisters.
Yeah, they did.
I think that they've been trying to trim out their fucking bad parts.
They're trying to prune their family tree.
And their dad was rooting for the Nazis to win.
Was he?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
I think Joseph, or is it Joseph?
He was like,
yeah, this sounds cool,
fascism.
I'm down.
Yeah.
How did they get their money
in the first place?
I don't know.
I think yesterday
was the anniversary
of the death of Junior.
And he was flying
to their compound
on Cape Cod or some shit like that. I was like, how did they to their compound on Cape Cod or some shit like that.
It's like, how did they have a compound on Cape Cod?
Yeah.
I think he was just part of, made huge profits of organizing and refinancing several Hollywood studios.
Oh, wow.
Oh, so they're pedophiles.
Joseph Kennedy.
That's the guy who was like, I think he was like, yeah, this Hitler dude's got some good ideas.
Maybe not. Kennedy curse is proof of time travel.
Everybody just keeps going back and killing a Kennedy.
Maybe.
But if JFK was ripping off takes like that, he would have never got elected.
Yeah.
Restaurants actually suck.
Oh, that's a good JFK.
Hey.
I hate waiters and waitresses.
What a stupid take.
Restaurants couldn't be better.
It's almost take.
Couldn't be better.
RFK was at a restaurant on the Upper East Side the other night doing some.
He's running for president.
And they got in a fight about climate change, like him and these two old men.
And this old man stood up and was like, I'm farting.
And he farted at the opponent. It's like on camera that's a win that's an instant win what
farted on the other guy and like announced it that's an instant as like i'm farting in your
general direction they were like on a beach i don't know at night you think he was just like
saying that and they were like yo we got to get this out to the fucking public people need to
hear what you're saying right now
Yeah say that again
He kept licking his chops
It was definitely like an enabling mom or aunt
That thinks he's like God's gift to the world
I thought he was killing it in that delivery
It reminds me of when people try to like
Diminish sports and they're like
Yes you're just gonna watch grown men
Play a game
It's like yeah
You can diminish anything with that yes you're just gonna watch grown men play a game it's like yeah yeah I am
anything with that like
oh you're just gonna watch them throw a ball
around yeah you could literally do like you could be like
water water bottles water
bottles are what so they can decide how
much water I drink
it's all it's all in this one
and we have two choices
take the lid on and yeah myself
yeah I have to work to get my water, which doesn't have a taste.
Or I could just lay down.
Why don't I just lay down?
I spend hours drinking out of water bottles.
And the benefit is what?
I have to get up and go pee?
Yeah.
Wait, I think I'm anti-water.
You do this for them?
Oh, no, it's so bad.
Because once you start drinking a lot of water, it's not worth it 12 trips a day oh it's
a nightmare trips but i just take creatine that you it makes you you had to drink a shit ton of
water and i would have to pee fucking everything like every like 10 minutes yeah i would be like
like pissed going to the bathroom god damn it gotta get up again and pee. It's always like an urgent piss, too.
Yeah, we should start be discerning about everything.
I guess this is just how it is now, though.
Like, am I that?
I feel like I might be that way, too.
I was gonna say, like, people just have to get their takes out, but then I was like,
do I?
I was like, maybe I do that.
Yeah, I do that.
I think I do that, so I can't really talk shit on that.
But I feel like everyone has, like, they have to get their like wild opinion out and then like they like the internet
was a bad idea yeah it was well these people shouldn't they shouldn't have people that agree
with them right everything because back in the day they were just like village idiots yeah i'm
gonna take i'm gonna disagree with this i like sharing of opinions because if you're just sharing facts, that's boring as fuck.
Yeah.
Imagine just saying facts to one another.
Then I feel like everyone's trying to have the weirdest opinion.
Yeah, they're getting a takeoff.
Movie theaters suck.
Yeah, movie theaters suck.
You just go and they tell you what you have to watch?
You get to watch the newest movie?
Yeah, and they give you-
How food is brought to you?
Popcorn?
To buy it?
I don't go to movie theaters
anymore unless
they're going to bring me
like food.
Like a meal.
Oh, like actual
Yeah.
Like restaurant movie theaters.
Yeah.
They're fucking awesome.
They're so much
so enjoyable.
I love a restaurant
movie theater would break
that dude's brain in half.
Yeah.
It would just combust.
Yeah. They're just combust. Yeah.
They're just making me watch something and making me eat.
Movie theaters are awesome, though.
It's great seeing a movie.
I want to see Oppenheimer, although it's three hours.
Yeah, I was kind of more on Brandon's side.
Is it getting good reviews?
Yeah.
Unless you're seeing a movie you really want to go see.
I want to see the Barbie movie bad.
I want to see it, too.
Too curious.
Yeah.
I want to see one about
the atomic bomb designer
Robert Oppenheimer.
I want to see that really bad.
Good news.
Really?
Yeah.
Fuck yes.
Do we get to see
what's the name
Cillian Murphy's cock
I think in this?
I think it's a sex scene.
It's missionary
but he's on top.
15 minutes?
You might see B.O.B. Back of Ball, but he's on top. 15 minutes? You might see
B.O.B. back of balls,
but I don't know
if you're going to see
Hangs Dong.
The worst porno angle.
Yeah.
Up the...
Oh, yeah.
People were pissed
that the love interest,
like the actress,
is like 10 years younger
than Cillian Murphy.
He's grooming.
Pube.
Everyone was like,
everyone was like,
well, you know that
Oppenheimer
married a chick that was 10 years younger than him.
This is actually historically true.
They're like, this is bullshit.
That's crazy.
Is she of age?
She is of age. And I'm fine with it.
Are any of these people in real life, though?
Have you ever heard them say anything like this in person?
I've seen them tweeting on the subway.
Yeah.
With a tote bag. They. With a tote bag.
They definitely have a tote bag.
It's great when they own themselves like this.
I saw another one where the person was like,
who's the guy who does
Fast Car? Luke Bryan?
Tracy Chapman.
The new guy, yeah.
Who's the new guy? Caleb's friend.
William Owen? Luke Combs won a- Lou Combs.
Yeah, Lou Combs.
So he got nominated for a Grammy, and this woman was like, this is bullshit.
It just shows representation.
Like, a black woman made this song, and she would never be in this position.
It's like, she won three Grammys for that album.
Also, she came out herself.
Yeah, she came out herself.
And was like, he did a great job.
I like that song. And people- People getting really upset about it. The most acclaimed songs of all herself. Yeah, she came out herself. And was like, he did a great job. I like that song.
And people like.
People getting really upset about it.
The most acclaimed songs of all time.
Have you ever seen that news?
I forget what channel.
It's some like news anchor.
And they're like, it's like one of those.
They're all on like a panel talking.
And she's like, and Donald Trump, if you hate Mexicans so much, who's going to clean your toilets?
Kelly Osbourne.
There's Kelly Osbourne.
There's Kelly Osbourne.
There's Kelly Osbourne.
That was amazing.
And they're all like, whoa!
And she like, the way she said it, she thought she snapped on it.
She's like, you guys know I didn't mean it like that.
I was like, well, what did you mean?
Who's going to mow your lawn?
She's going to clean your pool.
I meant.
That was the best. She's going to pick her strawberries
then. Cleaning your toilets is wild. She could have said the launch. She's going to pick her strawberries then.
Cleaning your toilets is wild.
She could have said the launch.
She could have maybe got away with some hedging. We watched that clip. That clip is hilarious.
Put it on.
I think that ended her career.
Probably did. I've got to see how Whoopi
reacted to that. It's so funny.
Hey, yo.
She's like, you guys know I didn't mean it like that.
Cinco de Mayo, I think he did a video in his office.
He's like, taco bowl.
Taco bowl.
He's like, love the Mexicans.
And, bro, I think that the Mexicans probably don't have that.
Yeah, they fuck with you.
I mean, the Cubans definitely do, but the Mexicans, I think.
The Cubans love Trump.
The Cubans love him.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
More than Marco Rubio, who I think Cubans love Trump. Cubans love him. Oh my God. More than like Marco Rubio
who I think is Cuban.
Yeah.
Oh I forgot about little Marco.
There are a lot of Latinos
here in this country
Oh God.
She said in front of her
that the immigration problem
In front of Rosie Perez
is a problem
and it does need to be addressed
and it does need to be fixed.
Interesting.
But making those comments those those comments with their pink hair
If you kick every Latino out of this country then who is going to be cleaning your toilet don't Trump
No, I would never mean it like that. Come on. No, I would never mean it like that.
Oh, my God.
I'm not part of this argument.
I think what you're saying is that Trump himself.
He needs to look out for the people.
Oh, man.
Go back.
I want to hear the no.
Yeah, everybody else.
It was so good.
It was so immediate.
If you're coming out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
Oh, that's no.
In the sense that. Oh, that's... Oh, that's... No.
She really did. She kind of sat up
and was just like, and...
Here we go.
Who is going to be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump?
Gotcha.
Didn't think about that, did you, T-Man?
Oh, my God.
It's so funny when people are trying to, like,
exercise racism
and wind up being racist.
It would be funny, though, if that got through to him.
He's like, oh, fuck.
He's like, shit, I've got to rethink this whole thing.
Take down the wall now.
Start taking it down.
He goes into his house.
He's like, hey, Juan, where are you from?
Philly? Yeah, hey, Juan, where are you from? Philly?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said you were from Delaware, right?
Yeah, these people, it's just the self-own.
I live for it.
Are there any more like that?
That one's really good.
It's perfect.
That one's perfect.
It is. It would have scripted so satisfying the smugness and then the way she just like puts her entire foot into her mouth yeah because you
know the osbournes growing up had a whole staff so she's like this is how it works
oh that's perfect what a naughty girl
he's going to be cleaning your toilet
like a fucking snarky
Hermione yeah that was so Harry
Potter of her she's wearing her little
like fake suit ten points for
Gryffindor
I'm probably getting this all wrong but it was somebody
who was writing a hit piece on Barstool,
and Dave came at them about being fancy,
and they were like,
I'll have you know, I'm not like that.
I live around a ton of Puerto Ricans.
Oh, yeah.
I live in Brooklyn, but the part where all the,
and not the nice parts,
the part where all the Puerto Ricans or something like that.
It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm into that moment.
It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm into that moment. It's like, uh.
Oh, man.
Yeah, it is funny because it's just like the,
like, oh, I'm not racist, I have black friends.
It's like that, but it's like,
people say that like ironically,
but then you realize, oh shit,
there's actually like a lot of people
who think like that.
Yeah.
Exact same way.
Yeah.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not like a rich person.
I live with the fucking Mexicans, dude.
Yeah.
I live with Puerto Ricans.
Obviously, I'm not rich.
Didn't Joe Biden do that?
I feel like Joe Biden said...
He said it.
It was like the poor kids.
It was like, you could be with the rich kids or the blacks or some shit like that.
What did he say?
The regular kids?
It was something like that.
It was just preposterously deep-seated racism.
Oh, man.
He used to be on a whole different time.
He used to be on his Christian, Catholic, clean up the streets type of shit.
Best Joe Biden video is still the one when he was running for president.
It was him and that construction worker in each other's faces yelling at each other.
That and the listen fat.
Yeah, fat.
Listen fat.
That's actually a dub for him.
Dog face, pony face, war soldier or something called someone.
Listen, fat is a kill shot.
It's over.
And that's three syllables.
Yeah.
And you're dead.
What was the fucking item one verbatim?
I've got to get this down.
I'm not racist.
I paid for a cameo from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.
Listen, fat coming from the president.
Imagine if somebody called me fat today.
That's not true.
Who said it?
President.
President of the United States.
Oh.
Leader of the free world.
Oh, shit.
Might be true.
Oh.
Damn.
I got to get in the gym, dude.
I think they were challenging each other to a push-up contest, too.
Four kids are just as bright as one.
Oh, my God.
That's way worse than I thought.
He missed so bad.
Because you could tell that comes from a deep down, like, how he thinks place.
He got his signals crossed where he's like, I'm trying to say this.
Yeah, you can't bounce back from something like that because that's like, oh, you truly think that.
Yeah, you accidentally said your deepest thoughts.
Yeah.
I think that Pat Bev might be about to walk in.
Oh, shit.
Should try and get him in here.
Yeah.
Saw the city was buzzing.
He went to get his first cheese steak, and everyone was very excited.
They were pissed off he went to Pat's.
Pat's, yeah.
People are like, Pat's is a tourist trap, trash, shit, horse meat.
I like their fries.
Cheese fries.
Yeah.
He just threw everybody under the bus that recommended Pat's to him.
Smart. Smart.
Smart man.
What are you and Pat talking about today?
I might as well say we have Draymond Green coming on.
Whoa.
In person?
No.
Not in person.
That would be awesome.
That will be.
They get along?
I think they're just too like
I think they do
Draymond just came out with his list of the top five trash talkers
And he had Pat I think
Himself, Pat
KD, Russ, and Chris Paul
So I think the fact that he's given them that recognition
I think that there's a nice mutual respect
Trash talking fellas Yeah Pat actually I think that the fact that he's given them that recognition, I think that there's a nice mutual respect.
Trash talking fellas.
Yeah, Pat actually, wait, KD, Russ.
I guess he's never played with Russ. It's Draymond.
But yeah.
Is that accurate?
I guess.
It sounds accurate to me.
Best trash talker in football history.
Gotta be some of these corners. I'd say like a corner or D-end or some shit like that.
I don't know, the shit that, like, Phil Rivers used to do where he, like, it's reverse trash talk, but it always felt like it worked.
Like what?
He would, like, get smoked, and then he'd get up and be like, great hit.
Way to go.
You really did a great job there.
I think, but I think that
Phillip Rivers also
like was like a
a nasty motherfucker
to people's faces too
yeah he would go crazy
yeah
yeah
Brad Marchand
was a good one for hockey
what he called
Patrick Taze's
kids ugly
yeah I feel like
all of
all on the ice
yeah I mean like KG
I mean
maybe the all time goat KG. Maybe the all-time goat.
KG, what did he...
He said Carmelo's.
He said Lala tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.
Honey Nut Cheerios.
Oh, God.
Then he made fun of Charlie Villanueva,
like calling him a cancer patient, I think.
He has alopecia.
Like, pretty fucked.
Making fun of somebody's kids is just like...
Yeah, that's so fucked.
Do it. Kill shot, though.
How do you recover from that?
You kill them. You kill them back.
The only reaction is to get
so angry that you probably end up getting a penalty.
He's probably on the ice being like,
fuck, are they ugly?
What did the dude say?
Oh, definitely.
The Zenadine Zidane.
Of Ugly Kids?
Oh, yeah.
He head-butted him.
He said something about his sister or his mom or something like that.
So much that Zinedine Zidane head-butted him, got kicked out of the World Cup,
and then they lost the World Cup final because of it.
Yeah.
Head-butted him in the chest.
Imagine what someone would have to say to you to make you head-butt them in the chest.
Because that's not even instinctual.
Yeah, it's automatic.
Headbutt's a wild move.
You're really putting a lot on the line there.
Yeah, but when it plays off, like someone headbutting someone in the nose, it's like...
I feel like you've got to really know how to headbutt.
Oh, yeah.
But if you do, it's like a superpower.
Yeah.
I feel like if I headbutted you, my neck would just snap in half.
You'd split down
the neck.
Your person would be fine.
Crack like a coconut.
You're just trying
to throw your head at me?
You have to push
the back of your head.
Yeah.
The hell was that?
How do you even know
you could do it?
Like, your neck's
strong enough to do
something like that.
And people just do it.
But in the chest
is crazy. Oh, yeah. You know do it. But in the chest is crazy.
You know a flopper in soccer
is going to go...
Using your head as a weapon is insane.
Leading the charge with your head.
What makes you think
to do that?
The first person to throw in a headbutt
must have been a lunatic.
Holy fuck!
I thought you said the Aztecs weren't even doing that.
They were like, oh, chill.
Shit, I could use my dad as a weapon?
There's got to be like an underground headbutting league.
Yeah.
Back and forth.
Dana White, bro, you get that in front of Dana White?
Exactly.
You remember the player, was it West Virginia?
The guy who was just headbutting his own helmet?
Wood Schmidt.
Yeah.
Fullback, yeah.
But he had calcium deposits in his forehead, he said.
So the more he headbutted, the more he'd bleed or something?
Yeah.
I don't know.
He always would bleed.
Yeah.
That's fucking crazy.
Fire the boys up.
Or wasn't there a strength and conditioning coach that headbutted some of his players with their helmets on?
Yes.
Yes.
He just, like, split his whole shit open.
Mike, the situation, remember when he headbutted the wall
and had to be in the neck brace?
Headbutting a wall.
Oh, yeah.
Gotta use a stud finder.
Or there's a fight where a guy headbutts a car
before showing how crazy he is.
He headbutts the car,
and then the dude just knocks him out of it.
We might be able to find that one.
I got a great road rage video.
I think it might be fake, but it's still fucking hysterical.
All right, find that.
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Of the tequila?
Oh, no.
The computer closing, turning off noise.
Brutal.
Yeah, the reset.
Factory reset.
Oh.
Trying to show a guy how crazy you are before you fight him is always the funniest and dumbest move.
I worked in Hey Arnold.
I'm fucking nuts.
That's right.
Don't hit me.
I'll hit me.
There was a whole song.
And it worked.
Yeah, the best fighters are the guys who are extremely calm.
Yeah.
Not a guy who's like, I'm fucking crazy.
They're like, in their head, they're panicking.
They're like, I cannot fight.
I cannot fight at all.
What am I going to do?
Yeah.
I need to scare this guy so much that he will not fight me.
You play the one that I just sent in the group chat.
It's a good one.
I don't know.
I can't tell if it's real or not but it's really funny oh my god
bro regained consciousness
Those comments drive me nuts
That's also a new thing
The bro
It's like white
Every single comment
White 12 year olds are like
Bro bro
Yeah
Bro was screaming for real
With like a skull emoji
What was your deleted tweet this weekend, Zach?
It was a picture.
I'll tell you what it was.
What was it?
It was a picture of an NFL player with Livvy Dunn.
And Zach quoted it and was like, you know Bro had her screaming.
It was Justin Jefferson and Livvy Dunn.
And he texted the group chat.
He was like, guys.
You said this didn't get the responses I wanted.
Yeah, I'm off two beers, and I thought this was going to play way better.
I was sitting at the bar of Buffalo Wild Wings in the Atlanta airport,
feeling good, crying, laughing.
You were over-served after one beer.
I know, bro.
Header her screaming.
Dude, all the replies were like, dude, this is weird.
You're like, this is weird for you.
I hate that you deleted that.
I do too.
It had like 40 replies in like one minute.
I know that.
That's the worst feeling.
I'm going to take this down now.
It was up for way too long.
Oh, man.
But I was referencing another tweet.
Which is one of the funniest.
One of the funniest interactions ever.
A guy like flirting with a girl online?
It's like a girl tweets and she's like,
just had my pussy ate for the first time with ice.
And then some like random dude replies and he's like, how was it? And she was like, good, my pussy ate for the first time with ice. And then some random dude replies and he's like, how was it?
And she was like, good, my man knows how to eat.
And then he replied and he goes, I know he had you screaming.
And it's just like a random dude replying to a girl.
Yeah.
Good plan. Can't help but to
The loafers
What time is Draymond?
Three
O'clock
Plenty of time
Plenty of time to play Sporkle
Pat likes Sporkle
Do you have Booze?
Who is the worst Sporkle speller of all time?
You don't have to say Sporkle
I've been in the lab
Yeah, that's true I've been in the lab. Yeah, that's true.
I've been in the lab.
How would you...
Doing spelling Bs, all that kind of stuff.
You've been practicing?
Been practicing.
Give him something.
Spell recite.
Oh, yeah.
That wasn't on the quiz.
What was on the quiz?
Cat, dog, sit, sat.
Yep.
It is that.
Fucking unreal.
When's Brandon coming back?
He's gone forever.
Fuck.
He's gone forever.
Breaks my fucking heart.
We're going to do that last week of, or second to last week in August.
I'm back.
Go crazy. We've got to do that second to last week in August. I'm back. Go crazy.
We've got to figure out that case race.
Wait, so you're not drinking, correct, for case race?
It's okay if you don't, brother.
I'm not peer pressuring you.
I just want to logistically figure it out.
We have a packed week that week.
I can't really drink beer unless it's gluten-free now,
so I could do an alcohol with you.
Maybe we just get fucked up.
We could do a liquor.
Liquor race?
We could go back and do
another
tank race.
Tank race?
From a sober perspective
I enjoyed
you guys on liquor after the tank race
way more than beer. That was also because I don't think any of us were as fucked up guys on liquor after the tank race way more than beer.
That was also because I don't think any of us were as fucked up as we were on the case race.
Yeah, we just had tummy aches.
Yeah, my stomach was just...
I like a liquor drunk better anyway.
I like feeling... I mean, I just do a bottle of clear liquor.
What about we all do a box of wine?
Ooh, that could be...
I'd like to drink beer, but I just don't want my last episode of the Yak to be one where I make a disgrace of myself.
Do a BAC race.
It's a BAC race.
First to like.12.
What was the Nuggin Chug?
What was that guy?
The Everest guy?
Oh, yeah.
He did 40.
Yeah, he was just good at everything?
Yeah. He put me on
close friends fast.
Yeah. He's just real calm?
Didn't get the follow back.
You should see if you can leave it.
Should we play some
Sporkle with Pat Beth? Pop in here, brother.
He's coming up like it's an aquarium.
They're filming him like he's in a zoo. Pop in here! Come in here, brother. He's coming up like it's an aquarium. They're filming him like he's in a zoo.
Pop in here.
Come in here.
Come in here.
Pop in here, bro.
Legend, come on in, brother.
That's great.
Hello.
This is the Yak, bro.
This is a show called The Yak called the yes nice to meet you this is a little sass
nice to meet you bro grab a seat that second one right there yeah
perfect perfect what's good bro you thank you for coming in here Nice to meet you. Bro, grab a seat. Where I can sit? That second one right there, yeah. I'm gonna sit right here. Perfect, perfect.
What's good, bro?
How are you, brother?
Thank you for coming in here.
No problem.
Thanks for having me.
I'm like a coworker.
Yeah, you're our coworker.
Talk into the mic, though.
Okay, here we go.
What show is this?
This is the Yak, dude.
This is a show we do every day where we basically just don't talk about, we just talk shit.
You know what I mean?
We're just talking.
Okay, why does it look like that, the look of it?
What do you mean?
Like vintage.
I think it's just kind of the vibe of the show.
Just kind of the vibe of the show.
We're talking about...
We're just talking shit, man.
We're not really on anything.
I told them that we have Draymond coming on today, though.
Okay, nice.
It's going to be a big one.
We said that he has you in the top five trash talkers.
It was you, him, Chris Paul, Russ, and KD, top five trash talkers.
What do you think about that list?
I don't know.
I don't know how you kind of get your definition of a trash talk.
I know a lot of things about a lot of players, like weaknesses and all that. So I wouldn't say, like, it's a trash.
It's more like, oh, his ass can't go left.
Would you ever call someone's kids ugly?
No.
What if they were?
How does it give me a picture?
Super ugly.
They have one eyeball.
Really ugly.
I love the West Virginia family where they bark like dogs.
Like, unspeakably.
Like, one eye's up here, one eye's up here.
You gasp.
See it and you're like, oh.
Oh, no kid is ever ugly, no?
A goblin.
The kid doesn't have a nose.
Nose.
I've never seen a person with no nose.
Like Voldemort.
The guy on the train I see every once in a while, no nose.
Really?
Yeah.
He wears sunglasses.
Is his name no nose?
I don't know.
No.
No nose.
That's one of those ones that if that was was a cocaine injury, that would kind of rule.
I think he's a burn victim.
Is that Artie Lang?
That's not cool.
Yeah, that's not cool.
Burn victim's not cool.
That's unfortunate.
It's not?
No, we don't fuck around with it.
We don't fuck around with it.
Come on.
Yeah, I like that.
So what's good while you're in town?
Is this your first time in the barstool office?
First time in the barstool office.
I wanted to kind of get a little tour.
Yeah, we'll get you a tour.
Guys wouldn't let me do that. No, you can do a tour. You want to come back for some Sporkle? No, I'm cool. I'm here now.ool office. I wanted to kind of get like a little tour. Yeah, we'll get you a tour. You guys wouldn't let me do that.
No, you can do a tour.
You want to come back for some Sporkle?
No, I'm cool.
I'm here now.
All right.
I'm here now.
So let me introduce you to everybody.
So Kate is over here.
Kate was in, she has a podcast called Zero Blog 30.
Love that.
She was in the military.
Love that.
She served overseas for us and is just an all-around delight.
76ers fan. Also a Sixers fan. Welcome to
the team. Awesome.
Philly gal, for sure. And then
Nick right here, he's on a show called
ANUS. Okay. It's an acronym.
He's also the funniest guy at Barstool.
Funniest guy at Barstool, for sure.
He's called Nicky Clicky. Nicky Clicky.
So if they see him in a video, they click?
He just got a haircut, too.
So if you saw him yesterday, he would have looked different.
As in, like, total chop off or, like?
Yeah, he got, like, a...
I had to trim it up.
Went to this barber shop.
It was, like...
White like a cod.
Yeah, two dudes.
Or it's, like, a naked guy in the barber shop.
And then two guys sucking each other off also in the barbershop.
In his naked barbershop.
No, I haven't.
I haven't seen a naked barbershop.
And then this is Big Cat, of course.
You know, part of my take.
Biggest show on the internet.
We FaceTimed that one night with Ronan and I in the car.
A very unfortunate night.
You were feeling good.
Very unfortunate night for you guys.
What?
Did you guys lose that night?
Oh, yeah.
What was that night?
Philly, right?
Oh, yeah. Well, what? Philly, right? Oh yeah.
Oh no, we won that.
We were on the way back.
We were feeling good. So at that time we were feeling fantastic. But yeah, host a part of my
take, big show on the internet. We gotta get you on
my take. That's a
great, great, great show you guys
have. Yeah, what's your favorite moment from it?
I don't know, I just had to say it.
I know y'all beating us in the rankings.
It's just a great, great show.
It is great.
This is Kyle.
He's also on Anus.
He's also on the same show as Nick that's called Anus.
Very nice.
That's the name of the show.
Thank you, Rob.
He's a great –
I know him.
And this is –
Sass.
He won't play you in college.
The goat.
The goat himself.
Yeah.
Yep. I love him. Sass is? Sass. He won't play you in college. The GOAT himself. Yeah. Yep.
I love him.
Sass is going to France next week.
Part.
The gay part.
Get off the show.
You can't kick him off the show right now.
Do it him.
Yeah, last time he called France gay and Pat kicked him off the show.
Oh, I love it.
He immediately kicked him off the show.
It's not my show.
Yeah, yeah.
This is. Yeah, yeah. I sure did numbers too. Thank you. Of course. Thank you. You blessed us. Oh, I love it. He immediately kicked him off the show. It's not my show. Yeah, yeah. This is.
Yeah, yeah.
Our show did numbers, too.
Thank you.
Of course.
Thank you.
You blessed us.
That's what I do.
Wait, are you and Draymond, like, tight?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
What's tight?
Well, like, are you guys friends?
What's friends?
Um.
Okay.
If I, like, call.
Like, I leave him my call.
Do you have his number?
No.
Okay, so that would be.
Isn't that the old Christian Bale quote?
That's pretty good.
It's like, if you have a problem with me, call me.
And if you can't call me, that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's cordial.
We see each other.
It's all love.
Would you text him on his birthday?
No.
Well, he doesn't have his number.
Okay.
That's fair enough.
But he said recently he doesn't like Chris Paul.
Draymond does?
Yeah, he said that.
That's what I mean. That's why it's interesting.
Something to ask him, maybe
in the interview with him that we're about
to do. Oh, you know what I'm thinking of is
Draymond quote tweeted your guy's interview with
Carl Anthony Towns. That's what I'm
thinking of. Oh, okay. Yeah.
He was like, I gotta come on your show. I'm gonna be'm thinking of. Oh, okay. Yeah. He was like, I got to come on your show.
I'm going to be a legend forever.
Yeah.
He would be, honestly.
Kyle also, he was a college wrestler.
He's probably the best wrestler on this show.
Nice.
He's stoutly built.
He wrestles as well as Abraham Lincoln.
I don't know if you guys know this.
Abraham Lincoln was 299 and1 in his wrestling career.
That sounds like a fake.
I was only 150-9.
Were you actually?
In high school.
150-9?
Yeah, in West Virginia.
299-1?
They said he had 300 wrestling matches and he only lost once.
Who did he lose to?
I don't know.
Probably fucking John Wilkes Booth.
Picking on each other's nose.
Some Lenny Dykstra stock
shit. Who's the scrappiest guy you've ever had in the locker
room? Someone maybe weirdly
scrappy. Who wants to wrestle?
I'm the guy. You the guy?
I'm the guy that looks at guys,
grabs, you know,
high quad and tries to
Yeah. That's like you, Kyle.
That's how Kyle is.
That's him on this show.
I was always looking at grapple.
Yeah.
Pat's also the guy in the locker room who'll, like,
if someone, like, has, like, a gross body, he'll be like,
what's that?
Oh, no.
Oh, shit, I don't want to be in that place.
Don't look at us.
What is that?
Listen, fat.
What the fuck with you if the president called you fat?
No.
Okay. I mean, people call me shit all the fuck with you if the president called you fat? No. Okay.
I mean,
people call me
shit all the time,
you know?
What's the meanest
thing someone said
to you on the
court before?
Some guy in
Dallas was like,
hey,
fuck you.
And I'm like,
fuck you.
And he was like,
fuck your mom.
I threw a ball
at him.
You were like,
Kyrie, you're an anti-Semite.
I didn't say that.
But then they kicked me out the game fine.
It was a fan?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
That's fucked up, though.
Fans are crazy now.
Unfortunately.
I think they can say anything.
But I think that that barrier is kind of like being broken by some players.
Like Isaiah Thomas went up to the guy in Philly russ went up to the guy in philly it always
happens in philly yeah yeah i have a i have a idea that i've had for i don't know probably like five
or six years that in all sports every athlete should get to fight one fan with no repercussions
a year no so that way if a fan talks shit, like, even if it's...
You have to be strategic about when you're going to use it.
So, like, you don't want to use a game one
because then everyone can talk shit the rest of the year.
But you just get to be like,
you, come on out, center court, you just beat his ass.
Imagine he's, like, an ex-UFC fighter.
You get to choose.
So you got to choose correctly.
I don't want... piece of love here.
Okay, okay.
But it would deter fans from talking shit?
I think that would actually make them talk shit more.
You think so?
But what if they get their ass kicked?
I think they're like, you know, hey, yeah, I got my ass kicked.
People love it.
It would be cool.
My ass kicked by LeBron, you know what I'm saying?
LeBron beat my ass.
Did you see the reply guy that got kicked in the nuts with the big red boots?
Oh, yeah.
That was awesome.
The porn star?
You saw this, Matt?
Oh, yeah.
We got to find this video.
He's got the biggest smile on his face.
Oh, he's so happy.
And he got kicked?
Yeah.
She was like this buxom porn star.
Very buxom.
Fake titties.
And I think he asked. He's like the type of dude who's like, yeah, kick me inuxom. Big, fake titties. And I think he, like, asked.
He's, like, the type of dude who's like, yeah, like, kick me in the nuts.
Like, step on my nuts.
Like, degrade me.
And he, like, asked her to do it.
And there's a video of him just, like, kneeling in the parking lot.
Like, he's about to get executed.
And she just fucking big red boots him right to his nuts.
Can I try one of those?
A high noon?
Of course.
I've seen them all the time.
Never tried one.
You're going to love these.
You have to like them.
Why are they locked?
They're not ours.
You lock it?
Yeah, because they were disappearing so fast.
No.
I'm glad I asked that.
Now I see how shit is ran around here.
Yeah, they're locked.
They were disappearing because I was drinking them.
What?
I can't get them.
I feel like that's...
Is there any liquid inside of them? Yeah, yeah. He's the sponsor of the show. They're disappearing because I was drinking them. What? I can't get them. I feel like that's. Is there any, like, liquid inside of them?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's the sponsor of the show.
They're fantastic.
They're very good.
The pillows especially.
You ever had them?
I'm just, I'm trying to, I'm really trying to help the show and the drink, but.
Hell yeah.
It won't open.
Did, what was your experience with Pat's Cheesesteaks?
You could be honest.
Awful.
That's good.
Oh, no.
You got to go to D'Alessandro's, right?
Awful.
But the person who took me was a, I'm not going to, you know.
The person who took me was originally a friend of mine.
Oh, that ended the friendship.
You know what I mean?
I like that.
He's no longer.
I like that.
If someone gives you a bad sandwich.
It wasn't what I was looking for.
So when I thought of Philly cheesesteak, I thought of like, you know, actually steak cut up, diced up, tiny little pieces.
Maybe some Swiss cheese, a mozzarella cheese with a little spice to it, some peppers, this, this, that. Fucker just gave me a dry ass, like steak sub with cheddar cheese on it, like melted.
I didn't feel that.
That's unfortunate.
I think that there are better places.
I don't know if you're going to get the pepper or the mozzarella or Swiss cheese.
I think it's usually like provolone American or like a cheese whiz.
But still, there are, I think, better offerings that you might have gotten.
And I think that you saying it was dry.
I like.
Oh, you can't.
Bread is everything.
Bread is everything.
That's why I go double cheese a lot of times on a cheesesteak.
Like, I just don't want to risk having a bad cheese ratio.
Got to get extra cheese.
But Dallas Andrews used to serve horse meat.
What?
That's how you know it's good.
Yeah, back recently?
Were they saying that they were, or did they get caught?
They got caught serving horse meat in their cheese sticks.
Jesus.
I've been caught.
I was just saying.
Who was the guy who caught him?
Was he like, where'd my dick go?
Yeah, who figured that out?
Where's my penis?
Yeah, the guy's like, wait, I've had this before.
I eat horse all the time.
What is this?
Wasn't Ikea serving horse meat for a while?
Were there meatballs?
Were they?
There might have been a rumor.
Who's this stud?
What's this stud doing walking around?
He's got to be the bachelor.
Is that Grocery Store Joe?
New Bachelor 71.
Did you see that? 71 years old? It's called the Golden Bachelor. Oh, wait. Is that Grocery Store Joe? The new Bachelor is 71. Did you see that?
Yeah.
71 years old?
Yeah.
How?
It's called The Golden Bachelor.
Yeah.
There's a new show for The Bachelor for old people.
You look good.
Looks damn good.
Looks 50.
Shit.
He's handsome as hell.
Yeah, he does look absolutely beautiful.
I wonder how it's going to work.
I wonder if the women will fuck him.
Oh, yeah. He doesn't look 71.
My parents live at a 55 and up.
That guy's 71?
There's no way. How?
You always see them in person.
He's spray tanned.
He's definitely like that age
where you're getting the milky substance in the corner of your mouth.
Yeah.
Wipe your shoulder when you
get the milky substance.
Was that a no for the high noon?
I think they're under what's a key.
Go get the keys.
Why don't we just say people can't take them?
The high noon?
Yeah, that's crazy.
They have to refill like every other day.
Do we have any in the bar?
They're getting the key.
We're getting the key.
This is disrespectful.
Wayne Reed.
I'll get a Sporkle in real fast.
You know what Sporkle is? Have you ever played Sporkle?
I haven't.
You're going to have the best time of your life, dude.
You're taller than I thought you were.
Me?
Your shoulders are wide, too.
He has a good frame, doesn't he?
He's got a good frame.
He's like Rondo. He's like Rondo.
He's like Rondo.
Oh, no.
Boy got shoulders like Rondo.
He got long arms.
Rondo does have a pair of shoulders.
Wide-ass shoulders.
That's if he applied himself.
He could definitely have, like, 10 assists a game.
Is Rondo retired?
I don't know.
He's one of those guys that, like, if he just was on a team next year,
be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, he's a great basketball player. Yeah, you'd, be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, he's a great basketball player.
Yeah, you just be like, oh, okay.
Very high IQ player.
Someone was, like, trashing.
Someone said Rondo was a better passer than Jokic the other day.
He is.
And the internet was like, what the fuck?
I was like, that's a pretty fair take that a point guard is a great passer like that.
You agree, right?
Yeah.
I don't know if i agree i mean you got a seven footer you know standing you know and you can see everything you can talk about a guy that's six one you know put bigger defenders on him you
really can't see over the defense and still make those plays people don't expect or like people
don't expect a big man to pass well so they see him pass well they're like oh look at that i never
would have thought that was gonna happen pass. Rondo can pass his ass off.
Yeah, Rondo's fucking sick. And in practice
he like tries shit. He's like dribble
baseline, throws pass,
ball twirls on
the baseline but doesn't hit out, bounces.
Yeah, he's sick. He got some shit.
Yeah, what a fucking legend. That's
Sass. That could have been Sass.
Sass has a great frame. He's got the frame
for it. He's just fucking.
Wait, why won't he play you in Call of Duty?
Why won't he play you?
I don't know.
He said he has an established squad already.
He does.
No, I asked him to be on his team.
Lil T's cool.
Oh.
He said I was.
He also, like, one of his team is in Alaska right now,
like, guiding fly fishing missions,
and he won't play without his boy.
So he won't play with you now that his boy
is gone but he's waiting for his boy to come back to keep on playing it's just very disrespectful
a little bit but it's okay i'm used to the disrespect throughout my life no you're being
being polite yeah it does but you're being polite right now i'm on your show i can't know you guys
i think that you could come and pop shit this is the type of show where you really can just say
whatever the fuck you want
and just be like,
fuck you, sass.
Play me in fucking Call of Duty
or I'm going to hang you out the window.
I won't say it.
It's my first day at the office.
Should you ignite?
So you want to keep it good?
I want to put on a good, you know.
Put on a good face, maybe.
But if you wanted to, you could.
My mom was watching.
Was she?
No.
I was watching.
I feel like it was nice to say.
It is polite to say.
What's your best segment of the party?
Yeah.
It sounds positive to say.
It sounds very good to say.
Hell yes, bro.
How long you guys been having the show?
We've been doing it since it was a serious satellite radio show.
Yeah.
How long was that?
It was six years.
Six or seven years
Seventeen
Ronan and I were due
I would go to his apartment
During COVID
And we would just sit
On his couch
And uh
Watch Jerry Springer
And just talk on the radio
It's a piece of Jerry bro
Yeah
Oh yeah
The last interview
Yeah you guys did interview him
The last time
He died how recently?
Or how quickly after the
Weeks?
A month
Yeah a couple weeks A month ago A couple weeks, a month.
I kind of wish you had saved him.
No, we tried to reboost it.
But, you know, we thought that everybody would be searching for his name.
But I think that some good numbers.
The clips did well.
People care about Jerry.
We interviewed Tommy Lasorda.
We interviewed Tommy Lasorda.
We held it for a little bit being like, maybe. Thinking.
Yeah, I mean, like, if you have a dead guy interview that's never been seen, that's big.
I think I also did the last interview for Dennis Hoff, the guy who runs the Bunny Ranch.
Yes. Oh, yeah.
You know the Bunny Ranch?
You did that?
Is that in Reno?
Yeah.
No, you're exactly right.
You wouldn't know. I'm on fire. That's why you'll be good at Sporkle. Is that a ring, though? Yeah. No, you're exactly right.
You wouldn't know.
I'm on fire today.
That's why you'll be good at Sporkle.
So Sporkle is a game that we have.
It's like a bunch of different categories. We go around the room, and you answer something for all these categories.
They'll be all up on the screen.
It'll be like the two, you know.
Here we go.
Here it is.
One player who caught a peanut on Eminem, the two fairly odd parents,
three NBA players who won three straight MVPs,
four quarterbacks who have started in the Super Bowl for the New York Giants,
five lightsaber colors seen in Star Wars,
six original Avengers in the Marvel Comics universe,
seven of George Carlin's seven dirty words you can never say on television,
eight U.S. states that start with N.
Nine case-slash-tank race winners.
And the ten highest-viewed Weird Al songs on...
So let's take out the nine case race because Pat can't...
He doesn't know that.
That's esoteric.
Yeah, we can't do that.
Yeah, we won't do that one.
I don't like this crop.
I might lose my belt.
I won the last one.
We go around one at a time.
So, like, Roan will guess one, and if he gets it right, he gets to say him.
But say KB guesses the next one and he's wrong, he's out.
I love this.
So it's like whoever's remaining.
The key.
Oh, the key.
Do you want tequila or vodka?
I'm a tequila guy, so, I mean, if it's trash, you know me.
No, it's not.
Nope, nope, nope.
You're sitting in the right seat.
Give him lime tequila.
Lime tequila is incredible.
DJ, boot up that five-second delay.
Sorry.
Pat will be playing roof ball with Brandon.
Yep.
It's not.
It's very, very good.
Refreshing.
Yep.
Okay.
Delicious.
I taste the tequila
right off the top.
Yep.
Not like,
it's not punishing
my taste buds.
Yeah, it's not overpowering.
Yeah.
It's light.
I feel like I could have this
on a barbecue.
Yep.
I feel like I could have this, you know, on a weekend with the kids. Hot day. I feel like I could have this on a barbecue. Yep. I feel like I could have this on a weekend with the kids.
Hot day.
I feel like I could have this, take the kids to school.
Hey, let me grab that.
Yep.
I feel like I can, I don't condone drinking and driving,
but if I was to drive, I would drink.
That's a perfect answer.
That's a good driving.
We don't do it.
You can kind of hide it also.
Looks like any other energy drink or something like that.
I like this one.
All right.
And I know you'd be honest.
That's a seal of approval, yeah.
That you'd be honest.
Because if this shit was trash, I would have said that.
Yeah, you would have.
We would have been in a lot of shit.
Yeah.
That's fine.
A lot of things happen.
But this is an honest guy.
This is one of our, maybe most honest guys in the office.
That would have just walked out and been like,
Oh, I'm getting millions of dollars to play basketball.
You guys have fun with your show.
Exactly.
It's delightful.
Yeah, but Pat is –
I follow.
I follow.
This is the first time that we, like, cut a promo when Pat first signed.
He was like, yeah, like, super happy to be here.
That promo was trash, though.
Listen, they tried to give me a Rush product.
Yeah.
And I'm a very detailed man, so rushing things is not really up my...
He hates rushing things.
He's a Ukraine guy.
I didn't like it.
It came out very ghetto and trashy to me.
I don't like those two words.
Exactly.
You're a trusting guy, though.
You let Eddie park your car.
Yeah.
Were you worried at all?
Oh, hell no.
I'm not. I don't. But that car is like a fucking which one was it which car like bad rolls yeah it's pretty nice pretty nice and he has a tesla
but he doesn't have the uh i did him in parking by the way yeah he doesn't have the automatic
parking in tesla he didn't pay for that let me subscribe do you guys have on the show? This one? 120. 120,000?
Oh yeah.
I'm 24. I'm 30.
You're wasting
your time here.
I was asking. I just wanted to know.
Because I've been doing math about
everyone's. Because I feel like
in my line of work,
it's very competitive, obviously.
And so when I decided to take up on this gig,
I wanted to kind of be one of the best podcasts out.
So obviously I looked at your numbers,
see you guys, how many subscribers you have.
So I'm in competition with all of you,
although we still work together.
Right.
Totally.
Totally.
I think that the healthy competition is good.
And, dude, I think you being in the office.
What do you guys have?
26
How long? 8 months?
You guys have more than us?
I don't know
We've only been doing this for 6 years
More than you
We're doing competition
You guys a million dollars worth of game
They are a monster
What is it the doll chicks or something like that?
Mean girls? Chicks in the office They are a monster. What is it? The doll chicks or something like that? It was like a...
Mean Girls?
Chicks in the office.
Oh, Chicks in the Office.
Yeah, Chicks in the Office.
Us and someone else.
We were notoriously Barstool Sports.
We were probably the last company to adopt YouTube,
which is definitely a detriment.
So, like, for the longest time,
we would host the videos on our own site
and not try to grow a YouTube.
You were giving people strategy roles
that didn't know what the fuck they were talking about.
Just being like, no, we can't put this shit on YouTube.
Even this show.
Remember we used to be on the main YouTube?
We were like, can we get our own?
Oh, yeah, we posted on both.
Yeah, so we've only been on the...
How long have we been on the Yak YouTube, TJ?
After Super Bowl week 2021. So, yeah, so like two only been on the – how long have we been on the Yak YouTube, TJ? After Super Bowl week 2021.
So, yeah, so like two years.
Years and change.
I think that, Pat, this would be a good week to like –
since you're in the office to like kind of pick brains, soak game.
You know what I mean?
Be like, okay, this person's doing this well.
This is something that –
Last time you used the word soak, you kind of set me up for it.
You did.
I saw that clip
But I mean it was first episode
Like you talk about soaking
It's guaranteed virality
I lied
It was last year
Oh it was last year
One year
You were on the jazz for a minute
A hot minute
Yeah
Of the past
Was that during Super Bowl week?
Hey look
Check it out
So
I'm with jazz
I don't know
I don't know future with jazz
Right I see I don't know future with Jazz, right?
I see, I don't know, GM, whoever.
I don't want to say his name, but I see him.
Any inch?
Leaving practice one day, and he has a son,
and he's taking his son to school.
Mind you, I have a son.
I have sons.
I don't know what my future is with the team.
I see him after practice.
Hey, I want to do exactly what you're doing.
What's that?
I want to know why I'm taking my son to school.
Am I going to be in Utah or are you fucking trading me?
What did he say?
I was traded two days later.
What did he say in the moment?
When was that?
When was the Jazz?
Was it this year?
Yeah.
When was the Magic?
Jazz was last year. Magic was this year. Magic was in the Was it this year? Yeah. When was the Magic? Jazz was last year.
Magic was this year.
Magic was in the Super Bowl this year.
Jazz was a little bit more than a calendar year ago.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
That's got to be the weirdest feeling.
Yeah, to be traded for like a day.
Yeah.
I just be like, oh, I guess that didn't.
I would get the jersey, honestly.
Yeah.
I would just be like, does it look good?
Does the color scheme fit with me?
I was excited.
You know me.
I just wanted to see the direction of the team.
I'm like, man, you guys talking about winning?
And Jazz, like, sneak, especially the way they started off last year.
Yeah.
People were like, oh, Jazz are tanking.
I know it was crazy because the Lakers started off slow.
Yeah, Jazz were in, like, second or third place to find them.
Yeah.
Yeah, that shit was.
Walker Kessler. Walker Kessler, he's on, like, place to find him. Yeah. Yeah, that shit was.
Walker Kessler.
Walker Kessler, he's on like Team USA right now.
Yeah.
I like him.
Yeah.
He's good.
He's very good.
He's going to be nice.
He's a good rim protector. I like this.
This drink also.
Yes, it's good.
I can't believe they lock this now.
I know.
While it's unlocked, can you throw me one?
Honestly, I can.
They lock it back up.
That would be crazy if they locked it back up.
Every time.
They let us have one, and they're like, ah, lock back up.
Robert?
Please.
TJ, want to spin our wheel just in case so we don't forget?
Oh, yeah.
And you are judged.
Oh, no.
Tough.
Not the judging man.
It doesn't.
Yeah, that was a bad throw.
It hit the microphone.
Not true.
I'm right here. Could have got right in front of it, you're saying bad throw. It hit the microphone. Not true. I'm right here.
Could have got right in front of it, you're saying?
But it did hit the microphone. It just landed in his lap.
We also have this wheel, and if it lands on wet...
Oh, whatever. We'll see. We'll cross that bridge
when we get to it. Also, if it lands on carbone,
we go to carbone.
Really? Yeah. Okay.
I have to pay.
Oh, that would have sucked. Oh, dry. So we're good to pay. Oh, that would have sucked.
We're dry.
So we're good to go.
Super dry.
How long are you in town for, Pat?
Where are you staying?
So I wanted to see how the Philly commute to New York is every time.
Not bad.
I'm trying to get my tracksuit run.
Thank you.
Wait, what?
It's not bad. Yeah, so run. Thank you. Wait, what? Thank you, bro.
It's not bad.
Yeah, so I'm standing Philly.
You got to get in the chopper in a helicopter.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm going to just take the nice little car.
Okay.
J.J. Redick used to live actually right by where Roan,
because Roan and I live in the same neighborhood.
He used to live across the street from me.
He would commute when he was playing for the Sixers.
Yeah, that's what I heard.
He'd be a chopper.
Oh.
Yeah.
So I'm going to kind of see.
I know I'm going to kind of be up here throughout the season,
so I just wanted to see the commute.
It's a nice fit, Roan.
Oh, that's nice.
It is.
When did you buy that?
You got him this?
I got you this, Kyle.
Nice.
What are you doing?
I'm in right here, bro.
Did I get anything?
Oh, Lady Vols.
Oh, rest in peace.
Who?
That's Summit.
That's Summit.
I like Big Cat.
Big Man knows.
I like Big Cat.
Your son maybe not so much.
Hey, chill, chill, chill.
What did your son do?
Not some good, very bad stuff.
Thank you, Nick.
I love this.
Nick, thank you, bro.
I feel great in this.
I feel British. I feel British as hell in this.. Thank you, bro. I feel great in this. I feel British.
I feel British as hell in this.
Hey, you do.
You do look kind of British.
Yeah, you do.
Man, what's good blood?
Yeah.
Run down with them things.
Really bad.
Yeah.
Are you seeing Drake while you're in town or what?
Oh, no.
It's a business trip.
I came here to give Barstool a lot of my energy.
But a lot of people want your energy.
People are coming up, Tommy Smokes being like,
hey, can I get five minutes with Pat Betts today?
It's a career suicide.
Pat, don't do it.
I'm light, though.
When I'm on other people's shows, I'm really light.
I'm respectful.
Yeah, you are very respectful on other people's shows.
I saw Timberwolf.
I forget his name.
He just trashed himself.
Jeff Teague?
Oh, yeah, Jeff Teague.
He's a good storyteller.
He's like, I got cooked left and right.
Still in the wave.
Where did this come from?
My NBA player is still in the wave now.
Oh, yeah, right.
Trying to get the podcast and everything like that.
That's competition, my bad.
That's another T-Wolf. What do you mean That's competition, my bad. Yeah, that's comp.
That's another T-Wolf.
What do you mean?
It's a track suit.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
I've been wearing it all day.
It's good.
It looks comfortable.
Super comfortable.
Yeah, it looks like it.
You want to try it on?
No.
Yeah, I don't think you could pull it off.
You do have a good frame, kind of like Rondo, honestly.
Yeah, I've heard that before.
Have you actually?
Pat said that when you left, that you have the the same frame as rondo under shoulders i do that as a compliment yeah
rajan yeah
i quando you got the same frame as quando ron just got locked up did he i'm shame they were
trying to poison my boy they They were trying to fucking poison
Quanto Rondo.
I'm happy they didn't. You want to hit this
sparkle real quick?
You guys got Draymond. We're not going to answer
the tank case race winners because
Pat doesn't know. Fair enough.
Also, I don't really know. I don't remember
at all. I have no idea who.
Who's up?
Who won? You guys already played one? No. Nevada. U.S. Who's up? Who won?
You guys already played one?
Nevada.
U.S. states that start with N, Nevada.
North Dakota.
Nebraska. Nebraska.
Oh, there's booze.
Nebraska.
So it's you.
You can answer any of these questions.
Any of them.
Any of these categories.
I'm going to stay with the U.S. states.
Let's start with the N.
Okay.
Which one are you going to say?
Can I do New York?
Yeah.
There you go.
Very nice.
Hang of this.
Solid, solid.
I'll do New Hampshire.
Making a run on these.
I say North Carolina.
New Jersey.
Clean it up.
I'm going to say cocksucker.
Oh.
Oh.
I was like, what was that for?
Yeah, it's over there.
Oh, I'm going to go with shit.
I'll go with Joe Montana.
Wait, they never, oh, they did Shit, okay.
I'll go with Cosmo.
Oh, whoa, Pat.
Oh, Shit.
Jesus Christ.
I'll go with Cosmo.
I like this game already.
Okay, yeah.
I knew you had Cosmo in you.
I know.
Oh, no. I'll go Wanda.
Gonna drop a hard cunt in here.
I'm gonna go Amish Paradise.
I'll go Motherfucker.
Ah, piss. Go motherfucker Ah piss Go Eli Manning
I'm gonna go
Michael Jordan
Yeah
I think I know the other two
What the cusses?
Or the MVPs.
Wait.
No?
No, because he, because Barkley and Malone, I think, broke him up.
Oh, damn.
That's just not right.
Wow.
I think Barkley and Malone, 93, and then Malone was 97 or 87.
Okay, Shaquille O'Neal.
Well, no, you're out.
No.
Do you want to use your one re-entry?
Yeah, you get one.
Yeah, you have to give us all $10, and you can come back in.
I'm cool.
I'm like, I'm out forever?
We'll play again.
You go until you get out, and then there's one person who wins.
Okay, say less.
Next round, you're back in.
Okay.
Damn.
Go fat.
F-A-T.
They go quick.
Like a surgeon.
This is your cataclysm.
Oh no!
What?
Maybe it was named something else.
New Mexico.
Oh my god.
You had it.
Fuck.
Oh, that would have been an easier.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker.
I don't know.
I'm going to go with blue.
Ice.
Phil Sims.
Two Ms, I think.
I'll do Hostetler.
Damn, I was hoping that one would just keep slipping.
A V guy.
Yeah.
Who is that?
He started for Phil Simms as the backup.
KB, you're up.
I'm up.
Let's go red.
I'm struggling on the fifth.
What?
Fifth lightsaber? How about white? What? I'm struggling on the fifth What?
Fifth lightsaber?
How about white?
I'm out You're out
Green
I don't know what the fifth is
Let's try
Terry Collins
Damn that's nice
Collins
Two L's
Nice I'll go purple Damn, that's nice. Collins. Two Ls.
Nice.
I'll go purple.
I don't know what could possibly be after that.
I think I may know.
I'm going to try constipated.
What?
Oh.
Weird ass song. What?
Oh.
So who's still in?
Me, Sass, and Nick?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll go with Iron Man.
Fucking stupid.
Go ahead, I'm in.
Nick, it's on you.
Larry Bird?
Nice. I'll go Thor I will go with Doctor Strange
Not an original
Not an original
Interesting
Kareem
I don't think so
No I'm all out Fuck Who is it Mrs. Shaggy Kareem? I don't think so.
No, I'm all out.
Fuck.
Who is it?
Mrs. Shack? America.
Not in America.
It's LeBron and...
Not three in a row.
Am I...
LeBron never won three in a row?
Did I win?
Yeah, you won.
What is the last lightsaber?
Who else?
I think yellow.
Wilt?
Yellow?
Oh, maybe it was Bill Russell?
Who was the yellow lightsaber? Kareem? Ray does. I said Kareem. Bill Russell. Yellow? Oh, maybe it was Bill Russell? It was a yellow lightsaber.
Kareem?
Ray does.
I said Kareem.
Bill Russell.
Yeah, fuck.
Called it.
Did LeBron not win?
It was the last George Carlin cuss word.
Tits.
It was tits?
Oh, tits.
Tits.
Is it Tim Duncan?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, Will.
Fuck. Oh, Will. Fuck.
All cawk-eye, black widow, tits.
Damn.
I didn't win the tank race.
You won a case race?
Included case races, too, if you ever won a case race.
Oh.
Let's play one more.
They didn't think that we played.
One more?
Oh, me and Che won.
Let's play one more.
One artist whose breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains.
Three legendary bird Pokemon.
Four original Pop-Tart flavors.
Four major components of earth's structure.
Four NFL teams.
Brandon Cooks played for five shows in Bravo's Below Deck TV series.
Eight main cuts of French fries.
Eight MLB players suspended for 100 or more games due to PEDs.
Ten most watched games on Twitter.
Tommy smokes.
Tommy?
I'll fuck with him.
Of course.
Yeah, fuck that.
I'm out, too.
All right, let's just end the show.
All right, we'll end the show.
Let's play.
Let's play.
Damn, Roan, you're a real follower.
Yeah, get the hell out of here. I thought you were leaving. Wow, Roan tells us're a real follower. Yeah, get the hell out of here.
I thought you were leaving.
Wow, Roan tells us where his allegiance lies.
Yeah.
I got to say, he smelled so good.
Yeah, he did.
He smells amazing.
He made the whole room smell good.
Let's play one last one.
Yeah.
I feel like it's a loser game, though, now that Pat was like, I'm out.
Yeah.
Ten more.
Dorky.
Pat kind of made me feel it.
Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, this one's kind of tough. I don't like these categories. This one's kind of tough,y. That kind of made me feel it.
Yeah, this one's kind of tough.
I don't like these kind of stuff.
That's why he left.
He loved that game.
He did.
I thought you looked pretty cool, man.
That looks funny.
It does.
I just took a massive shit.
Really? How's one of those ones where you come out feeling fucking a pound lighter?
All right, let's do one more because then I've got to go, too,
to do some PMT stuff.
All right, two first names of the Williams sisters,
two monster foodies in Sesame Street,
three ships of Christopher Columbus,
four presidents on Mount Rushmore. Five states with most people not able to vote due to felony conviction.
Six female Olympians with most medals in gymnastics since 2006.
Eight NBA players finish runner-up in MVP and never win the award.
I don't know any of them.
Nine original classes in World of Warcraft.
Ten top dog names of 2022.
Ten best-selling music artists of all time.
Holy shit.
All right.
Who's up?
Who won?
I did.
Nick.
I'll go Venus Williams.
Tough one.
Serena.
Following up.
What are we doing?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, and that's it. Yeah, we know that's your bad. Yeah, we doing? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, and that's it.
Yeah, we know that's your bad, Boots.
Boots just goes, that's my bad.
Who else's bad would it have been?
That sucks.
I saw him hover, and I was like,
this certainly can't be doing what I'm about.
I was saying, I was like, dude, I got a category.
I was like, this one could be fun.
Yeah, that one might have been the best one ever.
That was the best one, easily.
All right, one lead singer of Queens,
two baseball teams located in Missouri.
I can't read these.
Three painters who dominated the Roman Renaissance,
four wrestlers in the main event of WrestleMania I,
five of the most followed TikTok pages,
five Simpson family members,
seven most streamed Eminem songs,
eight, this one sucks too.
Yeah, it sucks. We had gold on our Eminem songs. Eight, this one sucks too. Yeah, it sucks.
We had gold on our hands.
Yeah.
I didn't see the answers.
One, Agent of Vinny Chase.
Two, subtitles of Ace Ventura movies.
Three, tight ends with the most all-time receptions.
Four, lead singers of Van Halen.
Five, love languages.
Six, hosts of Family Feud.
Seven, members of Full House.
Eight, classifications of Living Things Things, nine closers over 300.
This one sucks, too.
Yeah, this one sucks, too.
Shout out to everyone making them.
That's so nice.
You should be ashamed for making that one.
I appreciate it.
Oh, we already did this one.
Well, kind of.
Fine, let's just do it.
Let's just do this one.
I didn't see the answers.
Did you guys see the answers?
Actually, I didn't obtain anything. Oh, all right. Here we go. I forgot just do this. I didn't see the answers. Did you guys see the answers? Actually, I don't remember. We didn't obtain anything.
Oh, all right.
Here we go.
I forgot.
Venus and Serena are Kate and Nick's.
Oh, so we're still going with this?
Yeah, I should have looked, but I didn't.
I didn't see anything.
I can't see shit.
I did cheat on this one.
Nina.
Yeah.
You don't know these?
You should know this.
Come on Of course
Sass
I'm gonna go with
Michael
Follow up Nina
Jackson
No I'm not doing that bullshit
That one's too easy
Michael Pax
Jackson You don't gotta restart it Jackson Michael Pax Jackson
You don't gotta restart
It's Michael Jackson
Oh my god
Okay
Pinta
Santa Maria
Nina the Pinta
The Santa Maria
In the bottom while we're drinking sangria.
What is that from?
Step Brothers?
That's both.
That's both and ho.
Or no.
Step Brothers, yeah.
Is that from Step Brothers?
Or is that Cookie Monster?
Step Brothers.
It is?
Yeah.
Cookie Monster?
Is that Monster Foodie on Sesame Street?
Cookie?
Okay.
George Washington
Five states with the most
Florida
Good answer
California
That's weird that it wouldn't be Florida. Oh, good answer. California?
Oh!
That's weird that it wouldn't be.
Yeah, I was just going off populations.
Warrior.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's dumb.
Shit, I'm sorry.
Five female Olympics, eight NBA players.
Hack.
Why?
That's Bush League shit.
Yeah, dude.
Taylor Swift.
Oh, my God.
Or.
Oh, fuck me.
Oh, you'd think, right?
Oh, yeah.
Isn't it a streaming age?
It's measured differently.
Simone Biles.
LES. LES.
I'm thinking of put the fucking...
I'm not going to do that.
Ten best-selling music artists of all time.
Let's go with...
Do bands count?
Or does it have to be individual artists?
Good question.
I guess I'll go...
What did he say?
He said bands count.
I'll go with the Beatles.
I will go with Rogue.
R-O-G-U-E.
KB?
Kate's out?
I'm out.
Yeah, no.
Of course I am.
Sean Johnson.
S-H-A-W-N?
Yeah, S-H-A-W-N.
I'll go with the Rolling Stones
Yeah, that didn't make sense
Me and Kyle Crazy how big the Beatles How much bigger the Beatles were Than all those other bands Rolling Stones. Yeah, that didn't make sense.
Me and Kyle.
Crazy how much bigger the Beatles were than all those other bands.
Mage.
M-A-G-E.
Elvis.
Oh, really?
Druid.
D-R-U-I-D. Max.
Oh, shit.
Elvis is two.
That is new.
Dog names.
Oh, shit.
Priest. P-R-I dog names? Oh, shit. Priest.
P-R-I-E-S-T.
I don't know.
Queen.
Give me Warlock.
There it is.
Two in a row.
I've got to play one more.
Oh, can we see the best songpads?
Oh, I could have went with Mal Rushmore.
Oh.
Yeah, I know.
I forgot about that one, too.
Rihanna. She's the only woman on that list. Rihanna.
She's the only woman
on that list.
Rihanna over Taylor Swift.
For shame.
Madonna's on there.
Glad she's on.
Oh good.
Zeppelin.
Love me.
Does Rihanna have a lot of like
I know she has a lot of hit songs
but does she have a lot of songs
in general?
I think so.
Yeah because she started early.
Okay.
I think it's one of those where if you started sorting through the list, you'd be like, oh, yeah.
It's like you kind of.
I think Taylor Swift would add more hits and more songs.
I think Taylor Swift was pretty close to being in the top ten.
Yeah, but how do they do selling because of streaming?
Arth Brooks is number two.
Good show, everyone. All right Arthur Brooks is number two Good show everyone
All right
Pat Bev
Made me
Think Sporkle is not cool
I know
I feel a little self-conscious right now
Very self-conscious
A little bit
Okay
See you everyone tomorrow We'll see you next time. Time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act.
It's the act.