The Yak - Patrick Beverley Joins to Squash His Beef with Lil Sas | The Yak 7-18-23

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Built like RondoYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We'll talk about your haircut. Let's do the Roback. Okay, Roback.com, promo code YAK. 20% off. Roback.com, promo code YAK. 20% off. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, Q-Zips, sweatshirts.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off. Booze is here, so we should play Sporkle. Yeah. All day. Look at that guy. An IEP headass.
Starting point is 00:01:01 All day. Why the fuck is the door open? A little chilly in here. Wait for you. Can I start talking? Why? I don't know. There's nothing to talk about. Nothing to say. I got shit to say. I'm I don't know. Nothing to talk about.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Nothing to say. I got shit to say. I'm just going to wait. Okay. This has been a very good start to the show, I'd say. I like it. This is going to be a classic. Instant classic.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Where's Roan? North Africa. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. He had two days back in New York, and then he went from South Africa to North Africa. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. He had two days back in New York, and then he went from South Africa to North Africa. He had a two-day layover in New York. What's the most inconvenient layover you've ever had?
Starting point is 00:01:58 What did Nick bring? Going somewhere that's further away than where you're going. We had one where... I will not be eating this on the air. You were flying from Nashville to Chattanooga, and that's a 20-minute flight. Oh, yeah. From Atlanta to Chattanooga, and it got delayed two and a half
Starting point is 00:02:11 hours. Yeah. And we were like, oh, we'll just rent a car and do the hour drive. Yeah. And we forgot that our luggage was still... Oh. You had to just... Kyle was taking a shit and heard a guy listening to Bussin' with the Boys, though.
Starting point is 00:02:26 That was pretty good. Oh. Were you like, I know those guys? That didn't happen. Yeah. Did it happen? Yeah, I thought it did. Or was it Fasoli taking a shit in there?
Starting point is 00:02:35 It must have been Fasoli. I was just going along with it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Why did Nikki the Good leave some Italian delicacies? I think Captain Kahn said all Italian desserts are garbage. Captain Kahn, and I've talked to him privately about this,
Starting point is 00:02:50 he's losing his mind. Eternity leave. I think he's sleepless, and he's just throwing takes. And they all suck. He's like on a real hot shit. What has he said? Oh, he's just, again, I've talked to him privately about this, and I actually have no problem with what he's doing because said oh he's just he's again i i've talked to him privately about this and i actually have no problem with what he's doing because i think he's just bored
Starting point is 00:03:08 uh but he's just been getting takes off that are just like he was like all italian desserts suck uh stop doing the countdown for football season for one two for two okay uh he's never agreed with a co-worker i'll see somebody again, and it's the first response. There's other takes. Oh, Stephen Che couldn't complete one pass. He had another one, too, about fandom. Oh, yeah. He's been gatekeeping fandom.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Gatekeeping fandom. Yep. He's just firing off takes. Yeah, he's been on a heater. I love Italian desserts. I think they're good, but they're so rich and so filling. What about Italian ice, though? Italian ice is amazing.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah, yum, yum, yum, yum. The problem with desserts is that ice cream is the perfect dessert. So, of course, nothing stands up to ice cream. I'm not a huge dessert person in general. Nor am I. I just like candy. Yeah, that's dessert. I like sweet, sweet candy.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah, like gummies, like stuff that was made in a lab. That's the only thing I can eat. Yeah. Stuff that just stays in your stomach for thousands of years. Yeah. They're going to dig you up and be like, oh, man, this guy ate a lot of Swedish fish. I took down half a bag of Smurfs. You took down a bag of Smurfs?
Starting point is 00:04:17 Oh, yeah. Not bad. Very tasty. Smurfs? I'm playing along. They're just like gummy bears shaped like Smurfs. Are they actually called Smurfs? Yeah, they're Haribo Smurfs.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I've seen them. I've seen them in general stores. Yeah, they were good. Very tasty. There's Roan, there's Laidath. You get the hot fudge, the ice cream, the nuts, the bananas, and I get the... Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. Actually, no, I won't say it.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Say it. Say it. Oh. You just spill? Damn near spilled. But you didn't. No, I'm not going to say it. We had a three-hour.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Come on. Nah. Is it controversial? Will it build tension? Jerry has COVID again. What? No. I didn't say anyone to say it.
Starting point is 00:05:15 You guys made me say it. Why didn't he get tested? Yeah, judgment-wise, that's one that you should have been like, yeah, I won't say it. You guys told me you wanted me to say it. You should have backed down and been like, I can't say it. There's no chance in hell Jerry's taking a COVID test. How does he know?
Starting point is 00:05:29 Jerry's on the course right now. The duality of man. The man is not vaccinated, but he takes COVID tests. So, uh-oh. So are we all going to get COVID? I don't know. It's over. I don't.
Starting point is 00:05:41 I will not be testing. I don't even care about the COVID. I just don't want to be sick. That's what I care about. So then me saying it doesn't matter. Does matter. Why? He's a hypochondriac.
Starting point is 00:05:52 If he feels sick. Let's. You specifically it matters. Let's go by the tests next door and do them live. Oh. I will not. I have too much other shit to do. I have so much shit.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I'm moving this week. We don't have to. Nothing has to change. Wait. No. But then you welcome people to be like. Ign so much shit moving this week. Nothing has to change. But then you welcome people to be like Ignorance is bliss. Did you see that they're doing the 10x tests in the office? I thought we should all do it and do
Starting point is 00:06:15 a race to see who has the best. They're testing your glue clothes, your body fat, your whatever. You go upstairs, they prick your blood and they give you a new stat. You can get body fat tests? Yeah, I swear. It was an email that came through during the act yesterday, and I was like, oh, shoot.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Is it going on today? I don't know. Some sort of scans. Biometric screening. How long does it come back? Very interesting. It'll tell us our cholesterol, glucose, blood pressure, height. I think like...
Starting point is 00:06:42 Height? Who's that lady that talked like this? I think it's right away. They prick your blood. Elizabeth Holmes? Yeah, I think it's Who's that lady that talk like this I think it's right away They prick your blood Elizabeth Holmes Yeah I think it's like Elizabeth Holmes is the machine I don't know if I want to know
Starting point is 00:06:51 All that Yeah truth is like poetry And most people fucking hate poetry By the way there's also 50-50% chance And I am choosing to Believe the No believe the 50% That Jerry just faked a test to golf.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Honest to God, that was my first thought when you said it. I was like, let's go with that. I spent the last five days with Jerry. Yeah. That's true. Good point. My throat's a little scratchy now that I think about it. Not mine.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Oh, fuck. The guy who. Not mine. Oh, fuck. The guy who drove him dies. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ. Oh, fuck. He passes away. But he saved him from his wedding. He could have got his whole wedding sick.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Wow, true. It is very funny that Jerry refuses to get vaccinated, but also tests, like, diligently. FaceTime Jerry right now. I don't think I would ever... Oh, man, I hope he doesn't go, of course. I thought COVID was now. I don't think I would ever... Oh, man, I hope this is a golf course. I thought COVID was over. I did, too.
Starting point is 00:07:49 I haven't heard about someone getting COVID in weeks. Forever. Like, you just get regular sick now. Not even really. I never want to have again what I had when I had it. But I did lose a lot of weight, which is great. I only had it for a day, but it was bad. Nasty.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Oh, he's at the golf course. We're good. Yeah. Yeah, we're good. He looks fine. He's at the golf course. He looks fine. I'm not going to show the camera.
Starting point is 00:08:13 He's at the golf course. He's just at the golf course. He's fine. Is that Trump? Yeah. Is that Trump National? How are you shooting today? He's really got COVID.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yeah. I've got bad COVID. Sitting in the pitch black. In the dark bed. I don't understand. He just said, I don't know how I keep getting it. I'd ask him why he keeps testing. Why does he test at all?
Starting point is 00:08:39 If you don't test, you never got it. No, but then I could put other people at risk. Oh, that's nice. How many times have you had it, Jerry? This is my fourth. Oh. Do you think would you get vaccinated or nah? Nah.
Starting point is 00:08:57 That's crazy. Four times is a lot. Is it bad? Yeah, how are you feeling? My legs are in pain, but that's it. Is that a symptom? Yeah, body are you feeling? My legs are in pain, but that's it. Is that a symptom? Yeah, body aches. Jerry gets paralyzed in 2023. You're like the last guy to die in a war.
Starting point is 00:09:15 I think I'm the last person that's ever had COVID. I do too. I didn't know it existed. Me neither. So why'd you test? I just had a funny feeling. I don't know, existed so why'd you test i just had a funny feeling i don't know man okay all right feel better jerry all right later all right two years ago they would have like shut this office down well no that's why we all got
Starting point is 00:09:42 there was a weird point in time where Caleb got it, and me and Roan were talking to Caleb, and people pulled us aside, and they were like, hey, Caleb has COVID. We need you guys to go across the street and test right now. Do you remember that? Yeah, there was a little brief blip. Yeah, period.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Very quick. It was like a week. Then we did contact tracing, and then we stopped, and then everyone Slowly got COVID Like they wouldn't say Who had it Right We were getting emails
Starting point is 00:10:09 They're like Another two positives Yeah Eventually they just became It would just be the subject Of the email Which would be like Plus two
Starting point is 00:10:15 Yeah Two upstairs Oh thank god It was just upstairs Yeah I'll talk to them I think I got it twice From being at that house in Philly. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:28 That was bad. That was an incubator. I think I have it right now. Yeah, you might. It was kind of awesome at points. Like, we would, when we used, like, we would have, they'd be like, we're shutting down the office this week. Yeah, it's just, like, snow days.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Yeah. So, are you guys mad that I said it? No. I was feeling bad that if I didn't say it, then what if you got sick? Then I wouldn't have ever tested. I'm still not going to. Wouldn't have ever known. And Jerry, I mean, the beauty of the Yak is everyone speaks forward.
Starting point is 00:10:58 There's no direct face-to-face. He didn't even speak the last two hours. Exactly. It was perfect. He must have known there was COVID in there. He swallowed it. He swallowed it. I will say it kind of gives me an opportunity to cancel some things this week.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Shut some things down. Oh, bro. Drake's in town. For real. We're going to Drake. Our favorite little boy. Yeah. I have tickets too.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Ian Rohn are gone. Oh, me and Mresh. This day. He doesn't have tickets. I'm going to go. All right. But you've got to email the people from Game Time now. I'll just buy them. I want to support Drake. They're like, wait, where's Drake?
Starting point is 00:11:32 I'm going to support the artist. I'm going to pay full price. I'm going to MSG on Sunday. Oh, really? He's at Barclays. Not with COVID. I'm not going to be able to see him. I don't think he has it.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I think he just wanted to nap. Five days from today, you'd be good. True. I better get it now. It's the perfect time to get it. Yeah. You need to lick Jerry's microphone. I was with him nonstop.
Starting point is 00:11:51 What is that book where they all have... I've got it. They all have fucking some sickness, and they, like, breathe on each other so they can get it instantly so that they'll beat it. Velveteen Rabbit. Is it actually? I think that was the Clemson football team.
Starting point is 00:12:03 That book was morbid. That was some Clemson football team. That book was morbid. That was some Murakami shit. That was a theory that Clemson was doing that. Did any of you guys ever go to a chicken pox party? I did. And that's how I got it, yeah. I never had the pox. You could die. You never had it?
Starting point is 00:12:19 I think when you get it when you're old, it's like serious. Thanks, guys. Have you guys all had chicken pox? Yeah, thank you. It's still vivid in my mind even though I was five. What was the bath? They would put you in the bath with like corn syrup or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:32 I remember they used that. I thought that was for poison ivy. Yeah, I had to use cream. That's for like any itch. It's like for any rash. Yeah. I mean, rectal itch, you could probably take an oatmeal bath. Wait, do chicken pox still exist?
Starting point is 00:12:43 I'm clear. I got the miracle work. Do they? I don't know. I haven't seen yours. No. They had hand and foot. Hand, foot, and mouth. That was the worst shit that ever happened to me.
Starting point is 00:12:55 You got it. You're weak. All Pat's fingernails and toes fell off. Like, literally. Toes fell off. All his nails fell off, and his, all his nails fell off. And then they all grew back jaggedy and he was getting like caught on our sheets and on his socks for like a year. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to us.
Starting point is 00:13:12 It was burned, sting, itch, anything like that? It burned. You felt so sick. Cause it's like in your system too. Like you can't swallow. You feel like, like your horrible fever spots all over your body that are just sore. Like sores. You break out in sores and your nails fall off.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Like our fingernails and fingers and toes started falling off. Our son barely got it. He got a small rash and he was fine. Most adults don't get it. I know. I just looked it up. It says more than 95% of American adults have had chicken pox and about 4 million people get chicken pox every year.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Since the chicken pox vaccine was introduced in 95, less and less children are getting the disease. Okay, so we are a downward trend. Right before, yeah, I had it as a child. Damn, I didn't know it was that common. I got the vaccine. Same. So I never got it.
Starting point is 00:14:04 I missed it to my parents for it. So I never got it. I missed my parents for it. Wish I could suck it out of me. There's islanders still getting leprosy. What? Yeah, bad. Hockey players? Natives of islands. Oh. Come on.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Or mota-islands. Matt Martin? What islands are we talking about? Didn't they used to put leopards on it? Onesians and stuff. Is leprosy from leopards? No, no. They just look like leopards. I think there's no D.
Starting point is 00:14:34 No O either. Which is the craziest part. What? L-E-P-E-R-S-Y? L-E-P-E-R-S-Y? S, maybe E-Y. Maybe, I think, no E-Y. This is some great yakking we're doing right now.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Yeah, spelling it. It's informative. It is. Some of the leopard colonies, there used to be some off Hawaii, I believe. And the doctors are just like, I'm going to get it and die. The ones who would go treat them. Truly heroic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Why treat? That's insane. Back in the day, it was known as a holy disease because I think Jesus helped fix the one leper or whatever like that. So they would go and live in these communities. And there was even a military division where it was like a whole unit of dudes that had leprosy. And they were extra scary because they looked like zombies, but they were kind of revered from afar. People were still grossed out by them,
Starting point is 00:15:30 but they also respected the lepers. Did Jesus heal lepers? Or he just walked with them? No, I think the one guy... I think the guy he brought back from the dead had leprosy. Lazarus. Yeah. I thought he was just old.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I don't know. It was on Twitter. It wasn't a verified account, but I read the whole thing. Leprosy, your body parts fall off, right? I know it soars. You get lesions and sores all across you. Skin melts? You end up losing body parts?
Starting point is 00:15:52 Do you? You lose function. You might just rot to shit. I don't know if they fall all the way off, but I don't know. I think you start losing function of your limbs. He just definitely got the leprosy. Like, if he was messing with the guys. Let me Google if there really was a military leprosy unit or not. Your mom thought you had leprosy. Like, if he was messing with the guys. Let me Google if there really was a military leprosy unit.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Your mom thought you had leprosy, right? My mom thought I had fucking... Why am I blanking on all these diseases? Dude, it's fucking long. It's short COVID. The ones in your brain. Meningitis. Order of St. Lazarus.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Yes, meningitis. Swelling of the brain. Swelling of the brain. Is that what I'm thinking of? Yeah, meningitis. Are you fucking with me? No, I think that's it. Is that what it is. Yes, meningitis. Swelling of the brain. Swelling of the brain. Is that what I'm thinking of? Yeah, meningitis. Are you fucking with me? No, I think that's it. Is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:16:29 Yeah, meningitis. My mom thought I had meningitis because I called her and I was like, yeah. I was like, my neck is so sore. I was just like talking and walking to class and she was like,
Starting point is 00:16:37 I hope it's not meningitis. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's how like, everyone always says like, I'm a hypochondriac. It's because of my mom.
Starting point is 00:16:44 My mom would put ideas in my head. I told you about how I had like, I had like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's how, like, everyone always says, like, I'm a hypochondriac. It's because of my mom. My mom would put these ideas in my head. I told you about how I had, like, I had, like, a kind of, like, a lazy-ish eye because I was tired. It happens sometimes when I'm tired. And my mom was like, she made me go to the doctor to get, like, a scan to see if I had a brain tumor. And she was, like, crying. You didn't have any headaches or anything? No. They were literally like, yeah, there's nothing wrong with you.
Starting point is 00:17:05 They were like, do you feel bad? And I was like, no. I didn't even know headaches or anything No they were literally like yeah there's nothing wrong with you They were like do you feel bad And I was like no I didn't even know why I was there She never told me why we were going She was like I just want you to get your eyes checked Before you know you got a brain scan My mom did the same shit to me And then they look through your eyes
Starting point is 00:17:18 Into your brain I pretended to see double So I could skip school one day I was like I'm seeing double And she made me get a CAT scan to see if I had a brain tumor I was to see double so I could skip school one day. I was like, I'm seeing double. And she made me get a CAT scan to see if I had a brain tumor. I was not seeing double. You guys got to start creating some boundaries with your mothers. You shut the fuck up, dude.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Hi, Mrs. Bauer. Yo, what up? Kyle has COVID again. She's off. I think she's done. What? You're off? Done watching.
Starting point is 00:17:43 You told her or what? No chance she's dropping this habit. I think. I think she's done. What? She's off. Done watching. You told her or what? No chance she's dropping this habit. I think. I think so. She went to Yellowstone and said, yeah, I kicked the habit like you told me to. Like a smoker? She had the patch? She had to go out to the wilderness?
Starting point is 00:17:56 Hey, enough about this. Listen to this. Oh. Okay. Connor Griffin drove 11 hours to South Carolina without listening to anything. What? In complete silence. I respect that.
Starting point is 00:18:08 He told me before and then he was going to try to do it. I said, you're crazy. He did it on. But I'm interested. I'm intrigued. He tried to do it? He did it. And he said that it got progressively better.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Hell no. Oh, no way. Hell no. I'm interested. Did he say what he thought about? Like what? Yeah, I didn't get that far. His mind definitely wandered.
Starting point is 00:18:28 He definitely had an hour that he forgets that he was driving. I think it was probably more dangerous. Yeah. Oh, I go through some crazy mental. My mind goes to dark places when I'm on drives like that. It starts off fun. It starts off like a blast. We should try something smaller maybe because I bet
Starting point is 00:18:45 you he had a blast in South Carolina. I don't know if I could just do 11 hours without listening to something. It's usually at the part of the road trip where you almost get into a 10 car pile up. Then I usually sit in silence for a good two hours. What? About all my actions.
Starting point is 00:19:01 You ever been having fun driving and then you almost get. Oh yeah, where you get a little scared, you scare yourself. Sobers you up a little. Yeah, and then you turn the music off. Sobers you up.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Silence. Skates. Yeah, you just put a penny in your mouth and you almost get in an accident. There you go. Sobers you up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Yeah, that's fucking crazy. 11 hours? By himself? Did you see the QB1 show? Have you watched that yet? I started it. Did you see the thing that Kirk Cousins has where he, like,
Starting point is 00:19:30 straps something to his head and he, like, watches videos, and when he starts to lose focus in the video, like the video dims down to kind of remind his brain to reset his focus or some shit? Oh. It's got to be something like that. I don't know, but it made me very aware of how little I focus on anything that I... Oh, I...
Starting point is 00:19:49 Zero focus. Even, like, I was watching the show, and I was, like, on my phone. I was like, fuck, let me focus on this show that I'm watching. Yeah. Yeah. How often are you fully focused? Very, very, very rarely. It's more like for only spurts of a minute.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Nick, I think, is focused as fuck. Yes, you are. Focusing on his haircut. He looks good as hell. I think I accidentally went to one of those sexy barbershops where the chicks will cut your hair very close to you and give you tequila. I like it.
Starting point is 00:20:21 It looks... Did that happen? Yes, yesterday. Oh, wow. You've basically gotten the perfect... He gave you tequila? Yeah. Messy hair. I like it It looks Did that happen? Yes yesterday Oh wow You've basically gotten the perfect They gave you tequila? Yeah Messy hair
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yeah messy but not I always wanted that Every time The barber that I go to They always offer to give me an espresso And I'm like I don't want fucking coffee Coffee breath
Starting point is 00:20:37 There's girls in tennis skirts And like Dancing and stuff That sounds awesome And they were walking there And I was like You want tequila? How much did you tip?
Starting point is 00:20:43 Sick Like $4,000. You went to a strip club. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever seen the Dick... Who's the Dick Barber? The Dick Barber.
Starting point is 00:20:57 I saw his rates online. Exclusive cuts. Yeah. What's he up to? They're all just hanging dong and sucking each other off. There's usually a third guy there. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:21:07 Who? Just naked barber with a big naked barber. Brandon Barber. He's usually cutting your hair, and then there's a third guy sucking off the guy getting his haircut and jerking the barber off. Where did you guys see this? Is this in fiction or what is it? Oh, this is real. I've seen this.
Starting point is 00:21:19 This has been around for probably, I would say, probably close to eight years. I don't understand the words you guys are saying. Say it again. Say it again. Brandon Barber, he gives exclusive haircuts. And there's a guy sucking another guy off while he's making haircuts. What the fuck are you saying? This is a blowjob service.
Starting point is 00:21:36 The barber has a massive dick. So wait, are the haircuts good? Fresh ass cut. So a gay guy has two other gay guys living in his house and he invites people. Oh, no, no. This is a real barber shop. There's just other people getting normal haircuts
Starting point is 00:21:51 at the other chairs. I've seen just naked barber shops where all the barbers are naked. Can you send me? It's a great service. I can't play it because of the three naked guys in every clip. And the porn, the graphic dicks. Are they doing meat spin on the barber chair?
Starting point is 00:22:07 Can someone just show me? Just look up the naked barber. Where did you guys see this? Yeah. Twitter. My algorithm doesn't show me that. Sass told me about it. I get extreme right wing shit on my... I get this one guy.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Do you get Ian Miles Chong or whatever? Every minute of every day. Do you know that he's never stepped foot in America? Singaporean. I found that out yesterday. Malaysian. All his tweets are like, look at Philadelphia. Look at Chicago.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Look at San Francisco. America's a wasteland. Is he the one that posted? He posted a video yesterday of Philly. He's never stepped foot in America. Lives in the jungle. He got He posted a video yesterday of Philly. He's never, he's never set foot in America. Lives in the jungle. He got the cleftest of lips too. Is that possible?
Starting point is 00:22:50 Dude, get your fucking, get our country out of your fucking mouth. Okay? It's so, it's just clickbait, dude. Everything is just for like people to. It's the worst people. Twitter has now started to reward the worst people. And it's all interaction-based fucking... What's the reward?
Starting point is 00:23:08 That's what Cons is trying to do. Cons is making probably 50 grand off Twitter this year. Cons and Jack Mack are probably cashing out on Twitter. Cons gained 2 million followers on Twitter since his baby was born. It's crazy. What's his hill that he's fighting for? Yeah, what is he doing right now? Is he talking about the nuclear family unit or something?
Starting point is 00:23:31 Or the benefits of Catholicism? He ought to That shit really plays right now Catholicism is making a huge comeback Oh, did you see the dad with the seven kids Catholicism? Never mind That's a big hot Twitter thing right now All of the internet has been broken down
Starting point is 00:23:48 As of recent into Racism you gotta be really racist You have to like actually No yeah I'm getting a lot of racism A lot of racism You have to actually want to like kill women Like you don't Not even like oh my ex girlfriend dumped me
Starting point is 00:24:04 I hate her. You want there to be a modern day holocaust for women. That's the other side of the internet. And then Catholicism, huge. Taking over. Blowing up. And also those people hate women.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Catholicism, also, there's an overlap of people who are like, we gotta find all the pedophiles and make sure that everyone finds God in their life and goes back to the Catholic Church. Which is funny because, yeah. Mobius strip. They're literally the Tim Robbins, like who we're all trying to find the guy who did this. All the hunks are converting to Islam. Really?
Starting point is 00:24:43 Yeah. That's honestly a better They're converting to Islam, but a lot of them are also preaching the lords, preaching the Bible. Easier loophole to control the ladies. Yeah. Good point. Smart. There's a gender war happening on Instagram
Starting point is 00:24:58 reels. Who's winning? The fellas. The men. The boys. But it's like unsettling. We talked about this on a... We all recorded together and I looked up, I looked on Instagram
Starting point is 00:25:10 to see how long it would take me to find something that was insanely misogynistic. And I found at the top comment, it's just like a girl making a normal video and the comments are like, all women are the same.
Starting point is 00:25:21 I fucking hate her. It will swing back, the pendulum. I don't think it will. I don't think it's real. Maybe Barstool will become retro cool. We liked it when it was light misogyny. Second wave feminists. I saw Kelly Keegs.
Starting point is 00:25:37 I was scrolling Twitter the other day and it was Kelly Keegs saying taking a break from Twitter because I can't post anything without a million dudes being like, you dumb bitch. And right underneath it was Robbie and it was him showing my dog all the great comments she gets all day long and it was like dogs are better dogs have it way better than
Starting point is 00:25:54 ladies right now they'll be like a go fund me for a kid with like terminal cancer and people are like eh and they'll be like look at this dog almost got hit by a car. Or like this dog fell into a pool. They were able to revive it.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Everyone's like, oh my God, thank God. I've liked every GoFundMe I saw on Twitter. Retweet. No, no, no. That's signal boosting. Yeah. Thank you, TJ. I'm a big donator.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Yeah. Always donating. What percentage of GoFundMe people are scamming? I don't know, but I donated to a GoFundMe recently. I didn't know that GoFundMe now gets a tip. Have they always gotten a tip? Yeah, they do. The GoFundMe tip is 15.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Is it 15? You can select zero, though. Oh, no, not anymore. This was automatic. I'm pretty sure you can select. It automatically jumps to it, but you could. I haven't donated in a month or so, but. Where or how does the founder live?
Starting point is 00:26:50 He's got to be in Malibu. There's no doubt in my mind that he's on a bluff somewhere. Have any of you ever been scammed by a fake GoFundMe? Never. A guy came up to me. I think you can. To pay for Help his son get Little league
Starting point is 00:27:05 Uniforms Yeah And he just took my phone And sent him $50 On Venmo I had that happen Yeah But I don't think
Starting point is 00:27:14 It was real No Definitely not I donate to a Chicago charity Softball event But it's White Sox Dave's
Starting point is 00:27:23 The one who hits me up I'm pretty sure He just takes credit for it. That's the closest I've been to Spinks game. Yeah, he's definitely getting it. The money still goes to the charity. I think he shows up and he's like, he gives that money?
Starting point is 00:27:34 He takes the accolades. Oh, Frank, don't do it to him. Whoa. Is he in? He's been looking really good lately. He's also been wearing the turn of the century hats. All circular ones. I fucking love them.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Oh, he's just looking for an ear. What did Frank say yesterday? He was talking about weed. He was like, I got some edibles at my house. He's like, they're small though, only 10 grams. Uh-oh. Not 10 milligrams, 10 grams. His computer stopped working today.
Starting point is 00:28:02 Oh, no. And his screen went out, just gone. And Kelly Keegs was like, oh, how long have you had your computer? He said, three years. And Kelly said, oh, that's not very long. And Frank said, I do a lot of work. Sportsy's like, does he still update Sportsy's? Oh, I think he sold it, didn't he?
Starting point is 00:28:22 Yeah, for two bill. Little less. He was on Hisporkle yesterday for Richest American. Dude, he was in the middle of the office yesterday. Like, there's all these new rooms where you can do stuff, and he's just like, all right, Billy, happy birthday. Just screaming.
Starting point is 00:28:40 A lot of birthdays today, too. People are pissed. I might have seen a tweet, and I won't. I have seen it, too. People are pissed. I might have seen a tweet and I won't. I have seen it too. Is it a screenshot? I saw it too. Oh, it's so funny. The person is trying to tell on Frank, but they don't realize that it's actually Frank just being
Starting point is 00:28:55 the man. Oh, I saw that. Someone hitting up Frank being like, hey, one of my friends in the hospital had a medical emergency, was hoping you could cheer him up, and Frank just replied and said, tell him to buy a cameo. Yeah. That's a real cash. That's business, baby.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Yeah, that's business. You think Bezos is giving free shout outs? Hell no. Fuck no. Hell no. He didn't even let his employees piss. Bezos probably doesn't do the numbers that Frank does on cameo. No way.
Starting point is 00:29:24 No? There was a lot of birthdays today. That would be funny if Frank just keeps grinding Cameo, and then one day he just has a Richie Rich mansion. It's coming. What do you guys think I was doing this whole time? He becomes the first billionaire off of Cameo. Buys the Mets.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Yeah. And they're just really good. He just knows exactly what to do. And he hates it. Yeah. And they're just really good. He just knows exactly what to do. And he hates it. Yeah. All they do is win, and he's like, God damn it. It's the good old days. Yeah, bitch.
Starting point is 00:29:53 A perfect season. You think Frank would fire himself if he was the owner of the Mets? Hell no. No. But he lives relatively similarly as he did when he was still working at the courthouse. Yeah. He got a nicer apartment. Nicer apartment, but same stuff everywhere.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Doesn't really buy that much new stuff. I guess he goes on a lot of trips now. I don't think Barstool pays for him to just travel around and throw out first pitches. They technically do. Yeah, I guess you're right. They technically do. But also driving to Florida is like probably one of the cheapest ways you could do it.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Like, he doesn't really fly too many places. How many takes of gas is that? How many miles is Florida from New York? A lot. I guess you have to fill up three or four times. 700? Four times? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Maybe less. I don't fucking know. Now I feel like it would probably be like at least like eight. No. No. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:30:53 You get to Florida? No, it's probably like four times. Really? If your tank is like, what, 400 miles? How many miles is it to Florida? Yeah, so less. Oh, that's farther than I thought.
Starting point is 00:31:06 In a half times. That's crazy. That's way farther than I thought. You should just stay out of any conversation with Miami. Yeah, I know. Miami's throwing me for a flight. We just got to get there. I'm just thinking of the wrong state.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Oh. Across the country. You got to go to Miami, Sass. Yeah. I don't know if I would like Miami. You wouldn't. I heard to go to Miami, Sass. Yeah. I don't know if I would like Miami. You wouldn't. I heard it's a terrible comedy town. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:30 Yeah, that's what, whenever we have comedians on, we ask them, like, what's underrated, like, the worst comedy town. They always say Miami. Because they have, like, good weather and, like, beautiful beaches, women, and food. Yeah. They don't need comedy. There's nothing to laugh about. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Life is awesome. Yeah. Beautiful places, like, I think, like, Italy, France. Like, I think there's some places that just don't need comedy. There's nothing to laugh about. Yeah. Life is awesome. Yeah. Beautiful places like, I think like Italy, France, I think there's some places that just don't have comedy. Yeah, because I asked... It's got to be more suffering. Yeah, I think it was Tom Segura. I was like, what? Or maybe it was... Big J. It was Big J. I was like, what's underrated the best place to do comedy?
Starting point is 00:31:59 He's like, Ohio. He's like, the whole state of Ohio rules. Yeah. Ohio is... Indianapolis was a great comedy. Yeah, Indianapolis for sure. I actually did a show in Ohio recently. It was awesome. Ohio's like the whole state of Ohio rules. Ohio is. Indianapolis was a great. Yeah, Indianapolis for sure. I actually did a show in Ohio recently. It was awesome. Yeah. People want to laugh.
Starting point is 00:32:12 They need to. And people who need it. They need the laugh. Mm-hmm. Ohio isn't to anything. Like stereotypically. Yeah, it's kind of everything and nothing. Right.
Starting point is 00:32:23 All at the same time. Wombus has a big comedy scene. Yeah. Yeah, they do a bunch of don't tell shows. Yeah. Wasn't Columbus on pace to be, or weren't people projecting it to be one of the biggest cities in the country by 2050? It's the biggest in Ohio. Maybe that was just Ready Player One.
Starting point is 00:32:42 You're going to Cleveland? Yeah. I don't know. Columbus is my favorite city. Yeah, I like Columbus. I like Columbus a lot, too. Ready Player One. Cleveland's awesome.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Cleveland's nice. Cleveland in the last 10, 15 years has gotten a big facelift. Shout out to them. Hilarity is in Cleveland. It was one of the nicer comedy clubs I've ever been to. It was like a fucking cruise ship. Toledo, I have the key. That might be the only downfall. You think that's a downfall? Toledo, I have the key. That might be the only downfall.
Starting point is 00:33:07 You think that's a downfall? Toledo, yeah. Steubenville sucks. Like Cincinnati? You guys like Cincinnati? I haven't been there. It's nice. I like Cincinnati.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Youngstown's awesome. Youngstown has great pizza. Athens is great. Why don't you like Youngstown? It's nice to pass through. It's probably nice for a weekend. We had a great weekend in Youngstown. A bunch of good weekends in Youngstown. I lived there. I know, that's where it probably
Starting point is 00:33:27 sucks to do. I house-hopped there. But you didn't really know it. We went for 48 hours. It was awesome. I made zero friends in two years, to be honest. We had tons of friends. Quite depressing. Twinsburg, where the Twink Fest is. You had no friends in two years? Not in Youngstown. What did you do? I would go to Pittsburgh,
Starting point is 00:33:43 Cleveland. What did you do when you got off of work? Look at Twitter. Refresh it until my brain was so pressured. There was so much tension and pressure that I would just somehow be unconscious. What were you doing there? Early intervention. I would go into homes and work with the families, with the kids. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Were there ever really bad circumstances? Almost always, yeah. Scary, bad. Like a lot of horrible situations. Like dirty? Some of the dirtiest. Unimaginably dirty. Did you have a TV?
Starting point is 00:34:21 Yeah, but I never used it. It's crazy the way that like some people just like will bring kids into the world just like having like no regard for the kids that they're bringing into the world
Starting point is 00:34:32 they keep they keep yeah they're just like oh I'm gonna get I'm gonna get 10 of them totally I'm not talking about your gainfully unemployed
Starting point is 00:34:40 or gainfully employed ass there was just like it was crazy one time the whole living room area was sticky obviously but there was a mysterious mush everywhere and I figured out it was
Starting point is 00:34:53 the kids were chewing up like Cheerios with like milk in it and then spitting it out. So I got it all over my shoes. I say this with love, but I love obligatory. But kids are straight up not a good timeline. You've got to really want it.
Starting point is 00:35:14 You've got to really want it to really be able to enjoy it. That sounds bad. No, it makes a lot of sense. It sounds bad. You've got to really. It should be intentional. The best way to describe it is like a four-year-old or even a two-year-old, but a four-year-old especially.
Starting point is 00:35:31 It's essentially my son dictates happiness of our house and he can just one day decide to be a terrorist and one day decide to be the coolest kid in the world. Really? You're just basically beholden to a four year old's mood. That's crazy. Every day at pickup I'm like I'm either about to have a great time or I'm about to get bullied. Right. Until bedtime. Right. I think a kid is
Starting point is 00:35:54 like choosing to change every aspect of your life but you don't know how to do it. Yeah. And they're so good at school. I know it. And then they come home and they're like well you can't get rid of us. They know that. They fucking know.
Starting point is 00:36:09 That's like when I first adopted Stella, the first two months I had her, she did not bark. And then when she was like, oh, these people love me and won't get rid of me, she just never stopped barking. She was like, I'm good. You've got to fake get rid of her just to... They fucking, they know it. You ever had to fake get rid of her just to. They know it. You ever had two dogs at once?
Starting point is 00:36:27 No. That's crazy. A dog sat with a friend's dog while having Stella. They team up and they rotate barks. So they'll bark. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. And it goes on for hours. Tennis match?
Starting point is 00:36:45 And you're just, shut up! And they don't. They don't. They don't even know what they're barking at. They just run around the house barking. You're the best at quiet screaming. I would say, though, Kate, and you probably agree with this, when the kids are good, there's nothing like it.
Starting point is 00:37:00 It's basically just, you're just living on a roller coaster at all times. Lows are very low, but the highs couldn't be higher. Highest highs on the planet. Some of the kids I saw would bark before they would use words because they heard their dog more than their family. That's why I think
Starting point is 00:37:17 especially once you have that shit hurts even more because you're like, they're so sad. Oh my god. I think that's awesome. That would be so, they just never learned how to speak and they just only talk like dogs. They just speak dog.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Yeah, that's what the Whitakers, an inbred family in West Virginia, that's what they're on. They're all barking. Shit, they're on. Really? If you were raised by a pack of dogs, probably like understand
Starting point is 00:37:38 what they were saying and shit. Yeah. The Whitakers are doing well though. Are they? Yeah, they're like, one died, but like the rest of them are kind of better. They always make it seem like if you get raised by dogs, you'll just grow up to be, like,
Starting point is 00:37:51 a handsome white kid with dreadlocks and, like, blue eyes or some shit like that. Marry the princess. Yeah. It's not like that. Well, I don't know. Like, when George of the Jungle was running with those horses at the wedding, do you remember that? George of the Jungle.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Have you ever seen George of the Jungle? No. Oh, at the wedding. Do you remember that? George of the Jungle. Have you ever seen George of the Jungle? Oh yeah, there they are. Oh shoot. Was George of the Jungle Brendan Fraser? Yeah. It was just like a hot blue eyed white guy
Starting point is 00:38:13 with dreadlocks. Yeah, raped by apes. Same with in Avatar The Way of Water. There's like a hot like Yeah, you're right. They all are hot
Starting point is 00:38:22 when they're raised. It definitely doesn't go down like that no you'd definitely wind up looking like these people disgustingly ugly yeah
Starting point is 00:38:30 you were raised by dogs yeah what the hell you would have zero skills you told somebody like yeah I was raised by wolves
Starting point is 00:38:39 they'd think you're like sexy yeah they'd be like oh my god that's so incredible you'd be like matted that's why women
Starting point is 00:38:43 are losing the war because they're like oh my god that would's so incredible. You'd be like matted. That's why women are losing the war because they're like, oh my god, that'd be fucking hot. That'd be hot as fuck. Holy shit. I could fix him. He starts licking his own asshole. Yeah, I invite him over. He walks on all fours. I'm cleaning myself. Sass would always
Starting point is 00:38:57 be scooting because he'd never get his poop out. Eat some grass, Sass. It'll help you digest. Just going up to a girl in the bar and licking her ass. Sniffing it, yeah. Sniffing random puddles of piss. It's your fucking deal. Sorry, I meant to say hello.
Starting point is 00:39:15 I was raised by wolves. That might work. Girls might be like, wait a minute. He went up. Excuse my boy. He was raised by a pack of wolves. That's what girls want. So I'm going to come up and lick their ass.
Starting point is 00:39:35 This on them. That shit's gross. We don't have COVID. No. Jerry doesn't. His legs hurt. That's like a. Fucking COVID. Jerry doesn't. His legs hurt. That's like a pretty common symptom. They always do.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Being sick. Just aches. Just regular sick. My legs are always hurting when I'm sick. I wonder why. I don't know. Your knees when it rains sometimes. You ever get that?
Starting point is 00:40:03 No, never. You need the real Anthony Fauci in here. Did you guys hear Robert, or no, JFK's grandson talking about restaurants? That was absurdly dumb. What? What was he saying? He was like, restaurants are fucking stupid because you have to sit there and they make you read to get your food. He was like
Starting point is 00:40:27 sign for me. People just say shit and like try and make it like they're like making a crazy good point. He has good hair so people are like oh yeah he actually
Starting point is 00:40:35 knows what he's talking about. So I have to ask them what they serve. I've never tasted any of it and then they get to decide what they put in my stomach. What? You just don't go
Starting point is 00:40:44 to a restaurant. It's that big of a deal stomach? You just don't go to a restaurant. It's that big of a deal to you. You just don't go to a restaurant. Can I watch this? I don't get it. I'm very curious. Wait there to eat something that we don't get to choose really what it is. Yes you do. You don't know what any of them are going to taste like
Starting point is 00:40:59 or what's good. We'll eat there and it'll be covered in sugar and then we're going to sit there for most of the time and wait for some guy to come up and ask sugar. And then we're going to sit there for most of the time. Probably just finish burying a body on that beach. And wait for some guy to come up and ask us some question. And we're going to have to fucking talk to some guy about what we want to eat. Who is the moron encouraging you to turn the camera off? For food put inside of our body really matters a lot.
Starting point is 00:41:17 And we're going to let them tell us how to do it. And then we're going to sit there for a while and we're going to wait. And then we're going to need a couple more minutes to look at the menu. Who's laughing at this? Whoever's laughing really wants to have sex with us. His mom. This just sounds like he's never been. It sounds like his parents always picked a restaurant for him.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Or he's probably living a Kennedy lifestyle of like four-hour dinners every night. I don't get what he's saying. He's saying he probably has grown up with private chefs to where he says what he wants. No menu. They find anything. You spend hours and hours eating at restaurants. I also saw the neurodivergent community
Starting point is 00:41:54 trying to claim him, being like, yes, see, this is what we're talking about. What? He's just reading the definition of a restaurant but the tone of a TED Talk. Incredulity. He's like, the definition of a restaurant, but the tone of a TED Talk. Incredulity. He's like, what is this? So then some fucking guy can decide.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Have you ever been in public? He's doing his job. I think restaurants are the best thing in the world. Yeah. It's the simplest concept. It's also all your choice. You choose which restaurant to go to. And then you choose. Three will you could possibly have with food aside from like foraging.
Starting point is 00:42:29 And it's on demand. They bring you it to your specifications however you want it. And all you have to do is say it. Like he just doesn't want to say it. And you don't have to do the dishes. He doesn't want to read it. Like what is his point? He's like instead you could go lie down.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Like bro you're just depressed. Yeah. You just don't like shit you just have long covid who's that there was that woman i think she's a politician maybe she was like ever since covid like food hasn't tasted as like very good like you know like sounds have been like music hasn't sounded great and everyone's like uh you have long cove it's like ever since the lie of covid i haven't been able to taste anything that is preposterous that was a terrible point though and the fact that people were fucking applauding him crazy what and that's jfk's nephew i think it's JFK's grandson. That whole family really went off the rails. Yeah. They lobotomized one of their sisters.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Yeah, they did. I think that they've been trying to trim out their fucking bad parts. They're trying to prune their family tree. And their dad was rooting for the Nazis to win. Was he? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I think Joseph, or is it Joseph? He was like,
Starting point is 00:43:47 yeah, this sounds cool, fascism. I'm down. Yeah. How did they get their money in the first place? I don't know. I think yesterday
Starting point is 00:43:56 was the anniversary of the death of Junior. And he was flying to their compound on Cape Cod or some shit like that. I was like, how did they to their compound on Cape Cod or some shit like that. It's like, how did they have a compound on Cape Cod? Yeah. I think he was just part of, made huge profits of organizing and refinancing several Hollywood studios.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Oh, wow. Oh, so they're pedophiles. Joseph Kennedy. That's the guy who was like, I think he was like, yeah, this Hitler dude's got some good ideas. Maybe not. Kennedy curse is proof of time travel. Everybody just keeps going back and killing a Kennedy. Maybe. But if JFK was ripping off takes like that, he would have never got elected.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Yeah. Restaurants actually suck. Oh, that's a good JFK. Hey. I hate waiters and waitresses. What a stupid take. Restaurants couldn't be better. It's almost take.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Couldn't be better. RFK was at a restaurant on the Upper East Side the other night doing some. He's running for president. And they got in a fight about climate change, like him and these two old men. And this old man stood up and was like, I'm farting. And he farted at the opponent. It's like on camera that's a win that's an instant win what farted on the other guy and like announced it that's an instant as like i'm farting in your general direction they were like on a beach i don't know at night you think he was just like
Starting point is 00:45:21 saying that and they were like yo we got to get this out to the fucking public people need to hear what you're saying right now Yeah say that again He kept licking his chops It was definitely like an enabling mom or aunt That thinks he's like God's gift to the world I thought he was killing it in that delivery It reminds me of when people try to like
Starting point is 00:45:38 Diminish sports and they're like Yes you're just gonna watch grown men Play a game It's like yeah You can diminish anything with that yes you're just gonna watch grown men play a game it's like yeah yeah I am anything with that like oh you're just gonna watch them throw a ball around yeah you could literally do like you could be like
Starting point is 00:45:52 water water bottles water bottles are what so they can decide how much water I drink it's all it's all in this one and we have two choices take the lid on and yeah myself yeah I have to work to get my water, which doesn't have a taste. Or I could just lay down.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Why don't I just lay down? I spend hours drinking out of water bottles. And the benefit is what? I have to get up and go pee? Yeah. Wait, I think I'm anti-water. You do this for them? Oh, no, it's so bad.
Starting point is 00:46:22 Because once you start drinking a lot of water, it's not worth it 12 trips a day oh it's a nightmare trips but i just take creatine that you it makes you you had to drink a shit ton of water and i would have to pee fucking everything like every like 10 minutes yeah i would be like like pissed going to the bathroom god damn it gotta get up again and pee. It's always like an urgent piss, too. Yeah, we should start be discerning about everything. I guess this is just how it is now, though. Like, am I that? I feel like I might be that way, too.
Starting point is 00:46:56 I was gonna say, like, people just have to get their takes out, but then I was like, do I? I was like, maybe I do that. Yeah, I do that. I think I do that, so I can't really talk shit on that. But I feel like everyone has, like, they have to get their like wild opinion out and then like they like the internet was a bad idea yeah it was well these people shouldn't they shouldn't have people that agree with them right everything because back in the day they were just like village idiots yeah i'm
Starting point is 00:47:21 gonna take i'm gonna disagree with this i like sharing of opinions because if you're just sharing facts, that's boring as fuck. Yeah. Imagine just saying facts to one another. Then I feel like everyone's trying to have the weirdest opinion. Yeah, they're getting a takeoff. Movie theaters suck. Yeah, movie theaters suck. You just go and they tell you what you have to watch?
Starting point is 00:47:41 You get to watch the newest movie? Yeah, and they give you- How food is brought to you? Popcorn? To buy it? I don't go to movie theaters anymore unless they're going to bring me
Starting point is 00:47:51 like food. Like a meal. Oh, like actual Yeah. Like restaurant movie theaters. Yeah. They're fucking awesome. They're so much
Starting point is 00:47:58 so enjoyable. I love a restaurant movie theater would break that dude's brain in half. Yeah. It would just combust. Yeah. They're just combust. Yeah. They're just making me watch something and making me eat.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Movie theaters are awesome, though. It's great seeing a movie. I want to see Oppenheimer, although it's three hours. Yeah, I was kind of more on Brandon's side. Is it getting good reviews? Yeah. Unless you're seeing a movie you really want to go see. I want to see the Barbie movie bad.
Starting point is 00:48:22 I want to see it, too. Too curious. Yeah. I want to see one about the atomic bomb designer Robert Oppenheimer. I want to see that really bad. Good news.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Really? Yeah. Fuck yes. Do we get to see what's the name Cillian Murphy's cock I think in this? I think it's a sex scene.
Starting point is 00:48:42 It's missionary but he's on top. 15 minutes? You might see B.O.B. Back of Ball, but he's on top. 15 minutes? You might see B.O.B. back of balls, but I don't know if you're going to see Hangs Dong.
Starting point is 00:48:49 The worst porno angle. Yeah. Up the... Oh, yeah. People were pissed that the love interest, like the actress, is like 10 years younger
Starting point is 00:48:59 than Cillian Murphy. He's grooming. Pube. Everyone was like, everyone was like, well, you know that Oppenheimer married a chick that was 10 years younger than him.
Starting point is 00:49:08 This is actually historically true. They're like, this is bullshit. That's crazy. Is she of age? She is of age. And I'm fine with it. Are any of these people in real life, though? Have you ever heard them say anything like this in person? I've seen them tweeting on the subway.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Yeah. With a tote bag. They. With a tote bag. They definitely have a tote bag. It's great when they own themselves like this. I saw another one where the person was like, who's the guy who does Fast Car? Luke Bryan? Tracy Chapman.
Starting point is 00:49:39 The new guy, yeah. Who's the new guy? Caleb's friend. William Owen? Luke Combs won a- Lou Combs. Yeah, Lou Combs. So he got nominated for a Grammy, and this woman was like, this is bullshit. It just shows representation. Like, a black woman made this song, and she would never be in this position. It's like, she won three Grammys for that album.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Also, she came out herself. Yeah, she came out herself. And was like, he did a great job. I like that song. And people- People getting really upset about it. The most acclaimed songs of all herself. Yeah, she came out herself. And was like, he did a great job. I like that song. And people like. People getting really upset about it. The most acclaimed songs of all time. Have you ever seen that news?
Starting point is 00:50:11 I forget what channel. It's some like news anchor. And they're like, it's like one of those. They're all on like a panel talking. And she's like, and Donald Trump, if you hate Mexicans so much, who's going to clean your toilets? Kelly Osbourne. There's Kelly Osbourne. There's Kelly Osbourne.
Starting point is 00:50:23 There's Kelly Osbourne. That was amazing. And they're all like, whoa! And she like, the way she said it, she thought she snapped on it. She's like, you guys know I didn't mean it like that. I was like, well, what did you mean? Who's going to mow your lawn? She's going to clean your pool.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I meant. That was the best. She's going to pick her strawberries then. Cleaning your toilets is wild. She could have said the launch. She's going to pick her strawberries then. Cleaning your toilets is wild. She could have said the launch. She could have maybe got away with some hedging. We watched that clip. That clip is hilarious. Put it on. I think that ended her career.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Probably did. I've got to see how Whoopi reacted to that. It's so funny. Hey, yo. She's like, you guys know I didn't mean it like that. Cinco de Mayo, I think he did a video in his office. He's like, taco bowl. Taco bowl. He's like, love the Mexicans.
Starting point is 00:51:14 And, bro, I think that the Mexicans probably don't have that. Yeah, they fuck with you. I mean, the Cubans definitely do, but the Mexicans, I think. The Cubans love Trump. The Cubans love him. Oh, my God. Holy shit. More than Marco Rubio, who I think Cubans love Trump. Cubans love him. Oh my God. More than like Marco Rubio
Starting point is 00:51:26 who I think is Cuban. Yeah. Oh I forgot about little Marco. There are a lot of Latinos here in this country Oh God. She said in front of her that the immigration problem
Starting point is 00:51:37 In front of Rosie Perez is a problem and it does need to be addressed and it does need to be fixed. Interesting. But making those comments those those comments with their pink hair If you kick every Latino out of this country then who is going to be cleaning your toilet don't Trump No, I would never mean it like that. Come on. No, I would never mean it like that.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Oh, my God. I'm not part of this argument. I think what you're saying is that Trump himself. He needs to look out for the people. Oh, man. Go back. I want to hear the no. Yeah, everybody else.
Starting point is 00:52:17 It was so good. It was so immediate. If you're coming out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump? Oh, that's no. In the sense that. Oh, that's... Oh, that's... No. She really did. She kind of sat up and was just like, and... Here we go.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Who is going to be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump? Gotcha. Didn't think about that, did you, T-Man? Oh, my God. It's so funny when people are trying to, like, exercise racism and wind up being racist. It would be funny, though, if that got through to him.
Starting point is 00:52:49 He's like, oh, fuck. He's like, shit, I've got to rethink this whole thing. Take down the wall now. Start taking it down. He goes into his house. He's like, hey, Juan, where are you from? Philly? Yeah, hey, Juan, where are you from? Philly? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:08 You said you were from Delaware, right? Yeah, these people, it's just the self-own. I live for it. Are there any more like that? That one's really good. It's perfect. That one's perfect. It is. It would have scripted so satisfying the smugness and then the way she just like puts her entire foot into her mouth yeah because you
Starting point is 00:53:33 know the osbournes growing up had a whole staff so she's like this is how it works oh that's perfect what a naughty girl he's going to be cleaning your toilet like a fucking snarky Hermione yeah that was so Harry Potter of her she's wearing her little like fake suit ten points for Gryffindor
Starting point is 00:54:01 I'm probably getting this all wrong but it was somebody who was writing a hit piece on Barstool, and Dave came at them about being fancy, and they were like, I'll have you know, I'm not like that. I live around a ton of Puerto Ricans. Oh, yeah. I live in Brooklyn, but the part where all the,
Starting point is 00:54:19 and not the nice parts, the part where all the Puerto Ricans or something like that. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm into that moment. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm into that moment. It's like, uh. Oh, man. Yeah, it is funny because it's just like the, like, oh, I'm not racist, I have black friends.
Starting point is 00:54:31 It's like that, but it's like, people say that like ironically, but then you realize, oh shit, there's actually like a lot of people who think like that. Yeah. Exact same way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:40 I'm not, I'm not, I'm not like a rich person. I live with the fucking Mexicans, dude. Yeah. I live with Puerto Ricans. Obviously, I'm not rich. Didn't Joe Biden do that? I feel like Joe Biden said... He said it.
Starting point is 00:54:58 It was like the poor kids. It was like, you could be with the rich kids or the blacks or some shit like that. What did he say? The regular kids? It was something like that. It was just preposterously deep-seated racism. Oh, man. He used to be on a whole different time.
Starting point is 00:55:20 He used to be on his Christian, Catholic, clean up the streets type of shit. Best Joe Biden video is still the one when he was running for president. It was him and that construction worker in each other's faces yelling at each other. That and the listen fat. Yeah, fat. Listen fat. That's actually a dub for him. Dog face, pony face, war soldier or something called someone.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Listen, fat is a kill shot. It's over. And that's three syllables. Yeah. And you're dead. What was the fucking item one verbatim? I've got to get this down. I'm not racist.
Starting point is 00:56:03 I paid for a cameo from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Listen, fat coming from the president. Imagine if somebody called me fat today. That's not true. Who said it? President. President of the United States. Oh.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Leader of the free world. Oh, shit. Might be true. Oh. Damn. I got to get in the gym, dude. I think they were challenging each other to a push-up contest, too. Four kids are just as bright as one.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Oh, my God. That's way worse than I thought. He missed so bad. Because you could tell that comes from a deep down, like, how he thinks place. He got his signals crossed where he's like, I'm trying to say this. Yeah, you can't bounce back from something like that because that's like, oh, you truly think that. Yeah, you accidentally said your deepest thoughts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:01 I think that Pat Bev might be about to walk in. Oh, shit. Should try and get him in here. Yeah. Saw the city was buzzing. He went to get his first cheese steak, and everyone was very excited. They were pissed off he went to Pat's. Pat's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:13 People are like, Pat's is a tourist trap, trash, shit, horse meat. I like their fries. Cheese fries. Yeah. He just threw everybody under the bus that recommended Pat's to him. Smart. Smart. Smart man. What are you and Pat talking about today?
Starting point is 00:57:34 I might as well say we have Draymond Green coming on. Whoa. In person? No. Not in person. That would be awesome. That will be. They get along?
Starting point is 00:57:46 I think they're just too like I think they do Draymond just came out with his list of the top five trash talkers And he had Pat I think Himself, Pat KD, Russ, and Chris Paul So I think the fact that he's given them that recognition I think that there's a nice mutual respect
Starting point is 00:58:04 Trash talking fellas Yeah Pat actually I think that the fact that he's given them that recognition, I think that there's a nice mutual respect. Trash talking fellas. Yeah, Pat actually, wait, KD, Russ. I guess he's never played with Russ. It's Draymond. But yeah. Is that accurate? I guess. It sounds accurate to me.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Best trash talker in football history. Gotta be some of these corners. I'd say like a corner or D-end or some shit like that. I don't know, the shit that, like, Phil Rivers used to do where he, like, it's reverse trash talk, but it always felt like it worked. Like what? He would, like, get smoked, and then he'd get up and be like, great hit. Way to go. You really did a great job there. I think, but I think that
Starting point is 00:58:45 Phillip Rivers also like was like a a nasty motherfucker to people's faces too yeah he would go crazy yeah yeah Brad Marchand
Starting point is 00:58:55 was a good one for hockey what he called Patrick Taze's kids ugly yeah I feel like all of all on the ice yeah I mean like KG
Starting point is 00:59:04 I mean maybe the all time goat KG. Maybe the all-time goat. KG, what did he... He said Carmelo's. He said Lala tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios. Honey Nut Cheerios. Oh, God. Then he made fun of Charlie Villanueva,
Starting point is 00:59:17 like calling him a cancer patient, I think. He has alopecia. Like, pretty fucked. Making fun of somebody's kids is just like... Yeah, that's so fucked. Do it. Kill shot, though. How do you recover from that? You kill them. You kill them back.
Starting point is 00:59:33 The only reaction is to get so angry that you probably end up getting a penalty. He's probably on the ice being like, fuck, are they ugly? What did the dude say? Oh, definitely. The Zenadine Zidane. Of Ugly Kids?
Starting point is 00:59:46 Oh, yeah. He head-butted him. He said something about his sister or his mom or something like that. So much that Zinedine Zidane head-butted him, got kicked out of the World Cup, and then they lost the World Cup final because of it. Yeah. Head-butted him in the chest. Imagine what someone would have to say to you to make you head-butt them in the chest.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Because that's not even instinctual. Yeah, it's automatic. Headbutt's a wild move. You're really putting a lot on the line there. Yeah, but when it plays off, like someone headbutting someone in the nose, it's like... I feel like you've got to really know how to headbutt. Oh, yeah. But if you do, it's like a superpower.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Yeah. I feel like if I headbutted you, my neck would just snap in half. You'd split down the neck. Your person would be fine. Crack like a coconut. You're just trying to throw your head at me?
Starting point is 01:00:32 You have to push the back of your head. Yeah. The hell was that? How do you even know you could do it? Like, your neck's strong enough to do
Starting point is 01:00:40 something like that. And people just do it. But in the chest is crazy. Oh, yeah. You know do it. But in the chest is crazy. You know a flopper in soccer is going to go... Using your head as a weapon is insane. Leading the charge with your head.
Starting point is 01:00:54 What makes you think to do that? The first person to throw in a headbutt must have been a lunatic. Holy fuck! I thought you said the Aztecs weren't even doing that. They were like, oh, chill. Shit, I could use my dad as a weapon?
Starting point is 01:01:09 There's got to be like an underground headbutting league. Yeah. Back and forth. Dana White, bro, you get that in front of Dana White? Exactly. You remember the player, was it West Virginia? The guy who was just headbutting his own helmet? Wood Schmidt.
Starting point is 01:01:23 Yeah. Fullback, yeah. But he had calcium deposits in his forehead, he said. So the more he headbutted, the more he'd bleed or something? Yeah. I don't know. He always would bleed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:33 That's fucking crazy. Fire the boys up. Or wasn't there a strength and conditioning coach that headbutted some of his players with their helmets on? Yes. Yes. He just, like, split his whole shit open. Mike, the situation, remember when he headbutted the wall and had to be in the neck brace?
Starting point is 01:01:49 Headbutting a wall. Oh, yeah. Gotta use a stud finder. Or there's a fight where a guy headbutts a car before showing how crazy he is. He headbutts the car, and then the dude just knocks him out of it. We might be able to find that one.
Starting point is 01:02:01 I got a great road rage video. I think it might be fake, but it's still fucking hysterical. All right, find that. High Noon, if you're a tequila lover who's never satisfied with malt-hard seltzer offerings, you're going to love new High Noon Tequila Seltzer. Premium hard seltzer, clean finish because it's made with real Blanco tequila and real juice. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugars. High Noon Tequila Seltzer is available nationwide
Starting point is 01:02:26 in four bright crisp flavors. Strawberry, lime, grapefruit, passion fruit. High Noon Tequila Seltzer is awesome outdoors, especially at the pool, lake, beach, golf, and tailgating. Look for them on Drizzly at your local convenience or liquor store. Visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find it near you.
Starting point is 01:02:42 HighNoonSpirits.com. Find it near you. High Noon Tequilaits.com. Find it near you. High Noon Tequila Seltzer. Love it. The best. I'm in strawberries. My favorite. Of the tequila?
Starting point is 01:03:00 Oh, no. The computer closing, turning off noise. Brutal. Yeah, the reset. Factory reset. Oh. Trying to show a guy how crazy you are before you fight him is always the funniest and dumbest move. I worked in Hey Arnold.
Starting point is 01:03:12 I'm fucking nuts. That's right. Don't hit me. I'll hit me. There was a whole song. And it worked. Yeah, the best fighters are the guys who are extremely calm. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Not a guy who's like, I'm fucking crazy. They're like, in their head, they're panicking. They're like, I cannot fight. I cannot fight at all. What am I going to do? Yeah. I need to scare this guy so much that he will not fight me. You play the one that I just sent in the group chat.
Starting point is 01:03:36 It's a good one. I don't know. I can't tell if it's real or not but it's really funny oh my god bro regained consciousness Those comments drive me nuts That's also a new thing The bro It's like white
Starting point is 01:04:15 Every single comment White 12 year olds are like Bro bro Yeah Bro was screaming for real With like a skull emoji What was your deleted tweet this weekend, Zach? It was a picture.
Starting point is 01:04:27 I'll tell you what it was. What was it? It was a picture of an NFL player with Livvy Dunn. And Zach quoted it and was like, you know Bro had her screaming. It was Justin Jefferson and Livvy Dunn. And he texted the group chat. He was like, guys. You said this didn't get the responses I wanted.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Yeah, I'm off two beers, and I thought this was going to play way better. I was sitting at the bar of Buffalo Wild Wings in the Atlanta airport, feeling good, crying, laughing. You were over-served after one beer. I know, bro. Header her screaming. Dude, all the replies were like, dude, this is weird. You're like, this is weird for you.
Starting point is 01:05:15 I hate that you deleted that. I do too. It had like 40 replies in like one minute. I know that. That's the worst feeling. I'm going to take this down now. It was up for way too long. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:05:30 But I was referencing another tweet. Which is one of the funniest. One of the funniest interactions ever. A guy like flirting with a girl online? It's like a girl tweets and she's like, just had my pussy ate for the first time with ice. And then some like random dude replies and he's like, how was it? And she was like, good, my pussy ate for the first time with ice. And then some random dude replies and he's like, how was it? And she was like, good, my man knows how to eat.
Starting point is 01:05:49 And then he replied and he goes, I know he had you screaming. And it's just like a random dude replying to a girl. Yeah. Good plan. Can't help but to The loafers What time is Draymond? Three O'clock
Starting point is 01:06:13 Plenty of time Plenty of time to play Sporkle Pat likes Sporkle Do you have Booze? Who is the worst Sporkle speller of all time? You don't have to say Sporkle I've been in the lab Yeah, that's true I've been in the lab. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:06:25 I've been in the lab. How would you... Doing spelling Bs, all that kind of stuff. You've been practicing? Been practicing. Give him something. Spell recite. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:37 That wasn't on the quiz. What was on the quiz? Cat, dog, sit, sat. Yep. It is that. Fucking unreal. When's Brandon coming back? He's gone forever.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Fuck. He's gone forever. Breaks my fucking heart. We're going to do that last week of, or second to last week in August. I'm back. Go crazy. We've got to do that second to last week in August. I'm back. Go crazy. We've got to figure out that case race. Wait, so you're not drinking, correct, for case race?
Starting point is 01:07:14 It's okay if you don't, brother. I'm not peer pressuring you. I just want to logistically figure it out. We have a packed week that week. I can't really drink beer unless it's gluten-free now, so I could do an alcohol with you. Maybe we just get fucked up. We could do a liquor.
Starting point is 01:07:30 Liquor race? We could go back and do another tank race. Tank race? From a sober perspective I enjoyed you guys on liquor after the tank race
Starting point is 01:07:44 way more than beer. That was also because I don't think any of us were as fucked up guys on liquor after the tank race way more than beer. That was also because I don't think any of us were as fucked up as we were on the case race. Yeah, we just had tummy aches. Yeah, my stomach was just... I like a liquor drunk better anyway. I like feeling... I mean, I just do a bottle of clear liquor. What about we all do a box of wine? Ooh, that could be...
Starting point is 01:08:02 I'd like to drink beer, but I just don't want my last episode of the Yak to be one where I make a disgrace of myself. Do a BAC race. It's a BAC race. First to like.12. What was the Nuggin Chug? What was that guy? The Everest guy? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:21 He did 40. Yeah, he was just good at everything? Yeah. He put me on close friends fast. Yeah. He's just real calm? Didn't get the follow back. You should see if you can leave it. Should we play some
Starting point is 01:08:39 Sporkle with Pat Beth? Pop in here, brother. He's coming up like it's an aquarium. They're filming him like he's in a zoo. Pop in here! Come in here, brother. He's coming up like it's an aquarium. They're filming him like he's in a zoo. Pop in here. Come in here. Come in here. Pop in here, bro. Legend, come on in, brother.
Starting point is 01:09:01 That's great. Hello. This is the Yak, bro. This is a show called The Yak called the yes nice to meet you this is a little sass nice to meet you bro grab a seat that second one right there yeah perfect perfect what's good bro you thank you for coming in here Nice to meet you. Bro, grab a seat. Where I can sit? That second one right there, yeah. I'm gonna sit right here. Perfect, perfect. What's good, bro? How are you, brother?
Starting point is 01:09:27 Thank you for coming in here. No problem. Thanks for having me. I'm like a coworker. Yeah, you're our coworker. Talk into the mic, though. Okay, here we go. What show is this?
Starting point is 01:09:37 This is the Yak, dude. This is a show we do every day where we basically just don't talk about, we just talk shit. You know what I mean? We're just talking. Okay, why does it look like that, the look of it? What do you mean? Like vintage. I think it's just kind of the vibe of the show.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Just kind of the vibe of the show. We're talking about... We're just talking shit, man. We're not really on anything. I told them that we have Draymond coming on today, though. Okay, nice. It's going to be a big one. We said that he has you in the top five trash talkers.
Starting point is 01:10:12 It was you, him, Chris Paul, Russ, and KD, top five trash talkers. What do you think about that list? I don't know. I don't know how you kind of get your definition of a trash talk. I know a lot of things about a lot of players, like weaknesses and all that. So I wouldn't say, like, it's a trash. It's more like, oh, his ass can't go left. Would you ever call someone's kids ugly? No.
Starting point is 01:10:32 What if they were? How does it give me a picture? Super ugly. They have one eyeball. Really ugly. I love the West Virginia family where they bark like dogs. Like, unspeakably. Like, one eye's up here, one eye's up here.
Starting point is 01:10:45 You gasp. See it and you're like, oh. Oh, no kid is ever ugly, no? A goblin. The kid doesn't have a nose. Nose. I've never seen a person with no nose. Like Voldemort.
Starting point is 01:10:54 The guy on the train I see every once in a while, no nose. Really? Yeah. He wears sunglasses. Is his name no nose? I don't know. No. No nose.
Starting point is 01:11:02 That's one of those ones that if that was was a cocaine injury, that would kind of rule. I think he's a burn victim. Is that Artie Lang? That's not cool. Yeah, that's not cool. Burn victim's not cool. That's unfortunate. It's not?
Starting point is 01:11:12 No, we don't fuck around with it. We don't fuck around with it. Come on. Yeah, I like that. So what's good while you're in town? Is this your first time in the barstool office? First time in the barstool office. I wanted to kind of get a little tour.
Starting point is 01:11:23 Yeah, we'll get you a tour. Guys wouldn't let me do that. No, you can do a tour. You want to come back for some Sporkle? No, I'm cool. I'm here now.ool office. I wanted to kind of get like a little tour. Yeah, we'll get you a tour. You guys wouldn't let me do that. No, you can do a tour. You want to come back for some Sporkle? No, I'm cool. I'm here now. All right. I'm here now.
Starting point is 01:11:29 So let me introduce you to everybody. So Kate is over here. Kate was in, she has a podcast called Zero Blog 30. Love that. She was in the military. Love that. She served overseas for us and is just an all-around delight. 76ers fan. Also a Sixers fan. Welcome to
Starting point is 01:11:48 the team. Awesome. Philly gal, for sure. And then Nick right here, he's on a show called ANUS. Okay. It's an acronym. He's also the funniest guy at Barstool. Funniest guy at Barstool, for sure. He's called Nicky Clicky. Nicky Clicky. So if they see him in a video, they click?
Starting point is 01:12:03 He just got a haircut, too. So if you saw him yesterday, he would have looked different. As in, like, total chop off or, like? Yeah, he got, like, a... I had to trim it up. Went to this barber shop. It was, like... White like a cod.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Yeah, two dudes. Or it's, like, a naked guy in the barber shop. And then two guys sucking each other off also in the barbershop. In his naked barbershop. No, I haven't. I haven't seen a naked barbershop. And then this is Big Cat, of course. You know, part of my take.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Biggest show on the internet. We FaceTimed that one night with Ronan and I in the car. A very unfortunate night. You were feeling good. Very unfortunate night for you guys. What? Did you guys lose that night? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:43 What was that night? Philly, right? Oh, yeah. Well, what? Philly, right? Oh yeah. Oh no, we won that. We were on the way back. We were feeling good. So at that time we were feeling fantastic. But yeah, host a part of my take, big show on the internet. We gotta get you on my take. That's a
Starting point is 01:12:57 great, great, great show you guys have. Yeah, what's your favorite moment from it? I don't know, I just had to say it. I know y'all beating us in the rankings. It's just a great, great show. It is great. This is Kyle. He's also on Anus.
Starting point is 01:13:11 He's also on the same show as Nick that's called Anus. Very nice. That's the name of the show. Thank you, Rob. He's a great – I know him. And this is – Sass.
Starting point is 01:13:22 He won't play you in college. The goat. The goat himself. Yeah. Yep. I love him. Sass is? Sass. He won't play you in college. The GOAT himself. Yeah. Yep. I love him. Sass is going to France next week. Part.
Starting point is 01:13:29 The gay part. Get off the show. You can't kick him off the show right now. Do it him. Yeah, last time he called France gay and Pat kicked him off the show. Oh, I love it. He immediately kicked him off the show. It's not my show.
Starting point is 01:13:44 Yeah, yeah. This is. Yeah, yeah. I sure did numbers too. Thank you. Of course. Thank you. You blessed us. Oh, I love it. He immediately kicked him off the show. It's not my show. Yeah, yeah. This is. Yeah, yeah. Our show did numbers, too. Thank you. Of course. Thank you. You blessed us.
Starting point is 01:13:49 That's what I do. Wait, are you and Draymond, like, tight? Yeah. Yeah, okay. What's tight? Well, like, are you guys friends? What's friends? Um.
Starting point is 01:13:58 Okay. If I, like, call. Like, I leave him my call. Do you have his number? No. Okay, so that would be. Isn't that the old Christian Bale quote? That's pretty good.
Starting point is 01:14:07 It's like, if you have a problem with me, call me. And if you can't call me, that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's cordial. We see each other. It's all love. Would you text him on his birthday? No. Well, he doesn't have his number.
Starting point is 01:14:22 Okay. That's fair enough. But he said recently he doesn't like Chris Paul. Draymond does? Yeah, he said that. That's what I mean. That's why it's interesting. Something to ask him, maybe in the interview with him that we're about
Starting point is 01:14:36 to do. Oh, you know what I'm thinking of is Draymond quote tweeted your guy's interview with Carl Anthony Towns. That's what I'm thinking of. Oh, okay. Yeah. He was like, I gotta come on your show. I'm gonna be'm thinking of. Oh, okay. Yeah. He was like, I got to come on your show. I'm going to be a legend forever. Yeah. He would be, honestly.
Starting point is 01:14:49 Kyle also, he was a college wrestler. He's probably the best wrestler on this show. Nice. He's stoutly built. He wrestles as well as Abraham Lincoln. I don't know if you guys know this. Abraham Lincoln was 299 and1 in his wrestling career. That sounds like a fake.
Starting point is 01:15:06 I was only 150-9. Were you actually? In high school. 150-9? Yeah, in West Virginia. 299-1? They said he had 300 wrestling matches and he only lost once. Who did he lose to?
Starting point is 01:15:21 I don't know. Probably fucking John Wilkes Booth. Picking on each other's nose. Some Lenny Dykstra stock shit. Who's the scrappiest guy you've ever had in the locker room? Someone maybe weirdly scrappy. Who wants to wrestle? I'm the guy. You the guy?
Starting point is 01:15:37 I'm the guy that looks at guys, grabs, you know, high quad and tries to Yeah. That's like you, Kyle. That's how Kyle is. That's him on this show. I was always looking at grapple. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:49 Pat's also the guy in the locker room who'll, like, if someone, like, has, like, a gross body, he'll be like, what's that? Oh, no. Oh, shit, I don't want to be in that place. Don't look at us. What is that? Listen, fat.
Starting point is 01:16:00 What the fuck with you if the president called you fat? No. Okay. I mean, people call me shit all the fuck with you if the president called you fat? No. Okay. I mean, people call me shit all the time, you know? What's the meanest
Starting point is 01:16:09 thing someone said to you on the court before? Some guy in Dallas was like, hey, fuck you. And I'm like,
Starting point is 01:16:17 fuck you. And he was like, fuck your mom. I threw a ball at him. You were like, Kyrie, you're an anti-Semite. I didn't say that.
Starting point is 01:16:30 But then they kicked me out the game fine. It was a fan? Yeah. Oh, shit. That's fucked up, though. Fans are crazy now. Unfortunately. I think they can say anything.
Starting point is 01:16:40 But I think that that barrier is kind of like being broken by some players. Like Isaiah Thomas went up to the guy in Philly russ went up to the guy in philly it always happens in philly yeah yeah i have a i have a idea that i've had for i don't know probably like five or six years that in all sports every athlete should get to fight one fan with no repercussions a year no so that way if a fan talks shit, like, even if it's... You have to be strategic about when you're going to use it. So, like, you don't want to use a game one because then everyone can talk shit the rest of the year.
Starting point is 01:17:13 But you just get to be like, you, come on out, center court, you just beat his ass. Imagine he's, like, an ex-UFC fighter. You get to choose. So you got to choose correctly. I don't want... piece of love here. Okay, okay. But it would deter fans from talking shit?
Starting point is 01:17:29 I think that would actually make them talk shit more. You think so? But what if they get their ass kicked? I think they're like, you know, hey, yeah, I got my ass kicked. People love it. It would be cool. My ass kicked by LeBron, you know what I'm saying? LeBron beat my ass.
Starting point is 01:17:45 Did you see the reply guy that got kicked in the nuts with the big red boots? Oh, yeah. That was awesome. The porn star? You saw this, Matt? Oh, yeah. We got to find this video. He's got the biggest smile on his face.
Starting point is 01:17:56 Oh, he's so happy. And he got kicked? Yeah. She was like this buxom porn star. Very buxom. Fake titties. And I think he asked. He's like the type of dude who's like, yeah, kick me inuxom. Big, fake titties. And I think he, like, asked. He's, like, the type of dude who's like, yeah, like, kick me in the nuts.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Like, step on my nuts. Like, degrade me. And he, like, asked her to do it. And there's a video of him just, like, kneeling in the parking lot. Like, he's about to get executed. And she just fucking big red boots him right to his nuts. Can I try one of those? A high noon?
Starting point is 01:18:23 Of course. I've seen them all the time. Never tried one. You're going to love these. You have to like them. Why are they locked? They're not ours. You lock it?
Starting point is 01:18:32 Yeah, because they were disappearing so fast. No. I'm glad I asked that. Now I see how shit is ran around here. Yeah, they're locked. They were disappearing because I was drinking them. What? I can't get them.
Starting point is 01:18:43 I feel like that's... Is there any liquid inside of them? Yeah, yeah. He's the sponsor of the show. They're disappearing because I was drinking them. What? I can't get them. I feel like that's. Is there any, like, liquid inside of them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the sponsor of the show. They're fantastic. They're very good. The pillows especially. You ever had them?
Starting point is 01:18:51 I'm just, I'm trying to, I'm really trying to help the show and the drink, but. Hell yeah. It won't open. Did, what was your experience with Pat's Cheesesteaks? You could be honest. Awful. That's good. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:19:11 You got to go to D'Alessandro's, right? Awful. But the person who took me was a, I'm not going to, you know. The person who took me was originally a friend of mine. Oh, that ended the friendship. You know what I mean? I like that. He's no longer.
Starting point is 01:19:25 I like that. If someone gives you a bad sandwich. It wasn't what I was looking for. So when I thought of Philly cheesesteak, I thought of like, you know, actually steak cut up, diced up, tiny little pieces. Maybe some Swiss cheese, a mozzarella cheese with a little spice to it, some peppers, this, this, that. Fucker just gave me a dry ass, like steak sub with cheddar cheese on it, like melted. I didn't feel that. That's unfortunate. I think that there are better places.
Starting point is 01:19:55 I don't know if you're going to get the pepper or the mozzarella or Swiss cheese. I think it's usually like provolone American or like a cheese whiz. But still, there are, I think, better offerings that you might have gotten. And I think that you saying it was dry. I like. Oh, you can't. Bread is everything. Bread is everything.
Starting point is 01:20:13 That's why I go double cheese a lot of times on a cheesesteak. Like, I just don't want to risk having a bad cheese ratio. Got to get extra cheese. But Dallas Andrews used to serve horse meat. What? That's how you know it's good. Yeah, back recently? Were they saying that they were, or did they get caught?
Starting point is 01:20:28 They got caught serving horse meat in their cheese sticks. Jesus. I've been caught. I was just saying. Who was the guy who caught him? Was he like, where'd my dick go? Yeah, who figured that out? Where's my penis?
Starting point is 01:20:41 Yeah, the guy's like, wait, I've had this before. I eat horse all the time. What is this? Wasn't Ikea serving horse meat for a while? Were there meatballs? Were they? There might have been a rumor. Who's this stud?
Starting point is 01:20:57 What's this stud doing walking around? He's got to be the bachelor. Is that Grocery Store Joe? New Bachelor 71. Did you see that? 71 years old? It's called the Golden Bachelor. Oh, wait. Is that Grocery Store Joe? The new Bachelor is 71. Did you see that? Yeah. 71 years old? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:07 How? It's called The Golden Bachelor. Yeah. There's a new show for The Bachelor for old people. You look good. Looks damn good. Looks 50. Shit.
Starting point is 01:21:17 He's handsome as hell. Yeah, he does look absolutely beautiful. I wonder how it's going to work. I wonder if the women will fuck him. Oh, yeah. He doesn't look 71. My parents live at a 55 and up. That guy's 71? There's no way. How?
Starting point is 01:21:33 You always see them in person. He's spray tanned. He's definitely like that age where you're getting the milky substance in the corner of your mouth. Yeah. Wipe your shoulder when you get the milky substance. Was that a no for the high noon?
Starting point is 01:21:49 I think they're under what's a key. Go get the keys. Why don't we just say people can't take them? The high noon? Yeah, that's crazy. They have to refill like every other day. Do we have any in the bar? They're getting the key.
Starting point is 01:22:03 We're getting the key. This is disrespectful. Wayne Reed. I'll get a Sporkle in real fast. You know what Sporkle is? Have you ever played Sporkle? I haven't. You're going to have the best time of your life, dude. You're taller than I thought you were.
Starting point is 01:22:18 Me? Your shoulders are wide, too. He has a good frame, doesn't he? He's got a good frame. He's like Rondo. He's like Rondo. He's like Rondo. Oh, no. Boy got shoulders like Rondo.
Starting point is 01:22:30 He got long arms. Rondo does have a pair of shoulders. Wide-ass shoulders. That's if he applied himself. He could definitely have, like, 10 assists a game. Is Rondo retired? I don't know. He's one of those guys that, like, if he just was on a team next year,
Starting point is 01:22:43 be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, he's a great basketball player. Yeah, you'd, be like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, he's a great basketball player. Yeah, you just be like, oh, okay. Very high IQ player. Someone was, like, trashing. Someone said Rondo was a better passer than Jokic the other day. He is. And the internet was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:22:58 I was like, that's a pretty fair take that a point guard is a great passer like that. You agree, right? Yeah. I don't know if i agree i mean you got a seven footer you know standing you know and you can see everything you can talk about a guy that's six one you know put bigger defenders on him you really can't see over the defense and still make those plays people don't expect or like people don't expect a big man to pass well so they see him pass well they're like oh look at that i never would have thought that was gonna happen pass. Rondo can pass his ass off. Yeah, Rondo's fucking sick. And in practice
Starting point is 01:23:28 he like tries shit. He's like dribble baseline, throws pass, ball twirls on the baseline but doesn't hit out, bounces. Yeah, he's sick. He got some shit. Yeah, what a fucking legend. That's Sass. That could have been Sass. Sass has a great frame. He's got the frame
Starting point is 01:23:43 for it. He's just fucking. Wait, why won't he play you in Call of Duty? Why won't he play you? I don't know. He said he has an established squad already. He does. No, I asked him to be on his team. Lil T's cool.
Starting point is 01:23:54 Oh. He said I was. He also, like, one of his team is in Alaska right now, like, guiding fly fishing missions, and he won't play without his boy. So he won't play with you now that his boy is gone but he's waiting for his boy to come back to keep on playing it's just very disrespectful a little bit but it's okay i'm used to the disrespect throughout my life no you're being
Starting point is 01:24:16 being polite yeah it does but you're being polite right now i'm on your show i can't know you guys i think that you could come and pop shit this is the type of show where you really can just say whatever the fuck you want and just be like, fuck you, sass. Play me in fucking Call of Duty or I'm going to hang you out the window. I won't say it.
Starting point is 01:24:31 It's my first day at the office. Should you ignite? So you want to keep it good? I want to put on a good, you know. Put on a good face, maybe. But if you wanted to, you could. My mom was watching. Was she?
Starting point is 01:24:41 No. I was watching. I feel like it was nice to say. It is polite to say. What's your best segment of the party? Yeah. It sounds positive to say. It sounds very good to say.
Starting point is 01:24:54 Hell yes, bro. How long you guys been having the show? We've been doing it since it was a serious satellite radio show. Yeah. How long was that? It was six years. Six or seven years Seventeen
Starting point is 01:25:06 Ronan and I were due I would go to his apartment During COVID And we would just sit On his couch And uh Watch Jerry Springer And just talk on the radio
Starting point is 01:25:15 It's a piece of Jerry bro Yeah Oh yeah The last interview Yeah you guys did interview him The last time He died how recently? Or how quickly after the
Starting point is 01:25:23 Weeks? A month Yeah a couple weeks A month ago A couple weeks, a month. I kind of wish you had saved him. No, we tried to reboost it. But, you know, we thought that everybody would be searching for his name. But I think that some good numbers. The clips did well.
Starting point is 01:25:36 People care about Jerry. We interviewed Tommy Lasorda. We interviewed Tommy Lasorda. We held it for a little bit being like, maybe. Thinking. Yeah, I mean, like, if you have a dead guy interview that's never been seen, that's big. I think I also did the last interview for Dennis Hoff, the guy who runs the Bunny Ranch. Yes. Oh, yeah. You know the Bunny Ranch?
Starting point is 01:25:58 You did that? Is that in Reno? Yeah. No, you're exactly right. You wouldn't know. I'm on fire. That's why you'll be good at Sporkle. Is that a ring, though? Yeah. No, you're exactly right. You wouldn't know. I'm on fire today. That's why you'll be good at Sporkle.
Starting point is 01:26:12 So Sporkle is a game that we have. It's like a bunch of different categories. We go around the room, and you answer something for all these categories. They'll be all up on the screen. It'll be like the two, you know. Here we go. Here it is. One player who caught a peanut on Eminem, the two fairly odd parents, three NBA players who won three straight MVPs,
Starting point is 01:26:29 four quarterbacks who have started in the Super Bowl for the New York Giants, five lightsaber colors seen in Star Wars, six original Avengers in the Marvel Comics universe, seven of George Carlin's seven dirty words you can never say on television, eight U.S. states that start with N. Nine case-slash-tank race winners. And the ten highest-viewed Weird Al songs on... So let's take out the nine case race because Pat can't...
Starting point is 01:26:57 He doesn't know that. That's esoteric. Yeah, we can't do that. Yeah, we won't do that one. I don't like this crop. I might lose my belt. I won the last one. We go around one at a time.
Starting point is 01:27:09 So, like, Roan will guess one, and if he gets it right, he gets to say him. But say KB guesses the next one and he's wrong, he's out. I love this. So it's like whoever's remaining. The key. Oh, the key. Do you want tequila or vodka? I'm a tequila guy, so, I mean, if it's trash, you know me.
Starting point is 01:27:26 No, it's not. Nope, nope, nope. You're sitting in the right seat. Give him lime tequila. Lime tequila is incredible. DJ, boot up that five-second delay. Sorry. Pat will be playing roof ball with Brandon.
Starting point is 01:27:40 Yep. It's not. It's very, very good. Refreshing. Yep. Okay. Delicious. I taste the tequila
Starting point is 01:27:53 right off the top. Yep. Not like, it's not punishing my taste buds. Yeah, it's not overpowering. Yeah. It's light.
Starting point is 01:28:02 I feel like I could have this on a barbecue. Yep. I feel like I could have this, you know, on a weekend with the kids. Hot day. I feel like I could have this on a barbecue. Yep. I feel like I could have this on a weekend with the kids. Hot day. I feel like I could have this, take the kids to school. Hey, let me grab that. Yep.
Starting point is 01:28:12 I feel like I can, I don't condone drinking and driving, but if I was to drive, I would drink. That's a perfect answer. That's a good driving. We don't do it. You can kind of hide it also. Looks like any other energy drink or something like that. I like this one.
Starting point is 01:28:30 All right. And I know you'd be honest. That's a seal of approval, yeah. That you'd be honest. Because if this shit was trash, I would have said that. Yeah, you would have. We would have been in a lot of shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:37 That's fine. A lot of things happen. But this is an honest guy. This is one of our, maybe most honest guys in the office. That would have just walked out and been like, Oh, I'm getting millions of dollars to play basketball. You guys have fun with your show. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:28:49 It's delightful. Yeah, but Pat is – I follow. I follow. This is the first time that we, like, cut a promo when Pat first signed. He was like, yeah, like, super happy to be here. That promo was trash, though. Listen, they tried to give me a Rush product.
Starting point is 01:29:07 Yeah. And I'm a very detailed man, so rushing things is not really up my... He hates rushing things. He's a Ukraine guy. I didn't like it. It came out very ghetto and trashy to me. I don't like those two words. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:29:18 You're a trusting guy, though. You let Eddie park your car. Yeah. Were you worried at all? Oh, hell no. I'm not. I don't. But that car is like a fucking which one was it which car like bad rolls yeah it's pretty nice pretty nice and he has a tesla but he doesn't have the uh i did him in parking by the way yeah he doesn't have the automatic parking in tesla he didn't pay for that let me subscribe do you guys have on the show? This one? 120. 120,000?
Starting point is 01:29:45 Oh yeah. I'm 24. I'm 30. You're wasting your time here. I was asking. I just wanted to know. Because I've been doing math about everyone's. Because I feel like in my line of work,
Starting point is 01:30:01 it's very competitive, obviously. And so when I decided to take up on this gig, I wanted to kind of be one of the best podcasts out. So obviously I looked at your numbers, see you guys, how many subscribers you have. So I'm in competition with all of you, although we still work together. Right.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Totally. Totally. I think that the healthy competition is good. And, dude, I think you being in the office. What do you guys have? 26 How long? 8 months? You guys have more than us?
Starting point is 01:30:29 I don't know We've only been doing this for 6 years More than you We're doing competition You guys a million dollars worth of game They are a monster What is it the doll chicks or something like that? Mean girls? Chicks in the office They are a monster. What is it? The doll chicks or something like that? It was like a...
Starting point is 01:30:46 Mean Girls? Chicks in the office. Oh, Chicks in the Office. Yeah, Chicks in the Office. Us and someone else. We were notoriously Barstool Sports. We were probably the last company to adopt YouTube, which is definitely a detriment.
Starting point is 01:30:58 So, like, for the longest time, we would host the videos on our own site and not try to grow a YouTube. You were giving people strategy roles that didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. Just being like, no, we can't put this shit on YouTube. Even this show. Remember we used to be on the main YouTube?
Starting point is 01:31:16 We were like, can we get our own? Oh, yeah, we posted on both. Yeah, so we've only been on the... How long have we been on the Yak YouTube, TJ? After Super Bowl week 2021. So, yeah, so like two only been on the – how long have we been on the Yak YouTube, TJ? After Super Bowl week 2021. So, yeah, so like two years. Years and change. I think that, Pat, this would be a good week to like –
Starting point is 01:31:33 since you're in the office to like kind of pick brains, soak game. You know what I mean? Be like, okay, this person's doing this well. This is something that – Last time you used the word soak, you kind of set me up for it. You did. I saw that clip But I mean it was first episode
Starting point is 01:31:46 Like you talk about soaking It's guaranteed virality I lied It was last year Oh it was last year One year You were on the jazz for a minute A hot minute
Starting point is 01:31:55 Yeah Of the past Was that during Super Bowl week? Hey look Check it out So I'm with jazz I don't know
Starting point is 01:32:03 I don't know future with jazz Right I see I don't know future with Jazz, right? I see, I don't know, GM, whoever. I don't want to say his name, but I see him. Any inch? Leaving practice one day, and he has a son, and he's taking his son to school. Mind you, I have a son.
Starting point is 01:32:19 I have sons. I don't know what my future is with the team. I see him after practice. Hey, I want to do exactly what you're doing. What's that? I want to know why I'm taking my son to school. Am I going to be in Utah or are you fucking trading me? What did he say?
Starting point is 01:32:35 I was traded two days later. What did he say in the moment? When was that? When was the Jazz? Was it this year? Yeah. When was the Magic? Jazz was last year. Magic was this year. Magic was in the Was it this year? Yeah. When was the Magic? Jazz was last year.
Starting point is 01:32:46 Magic was this year. Magic was in the Super Bowl this year. Jazz was a little bit more than a calendar year ago. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's got to be the weirdest feeling. Yeah, to be traded for like a day. Yeah. I just be like, oh, I guess that didn't.
Starting point is 01:33:00 I would get the jersey, honestly. Yeah. I would just be like, does it look good? Does the color scheme fit with me? I was excited. You know me. I just wanted to see the direction of the team. I'm like, man, you guys talking about winning?
Starting point is 01:33:10 And Jazz, like, sneak, especially the way they started off last year. Yeah. People were like, oh, Jazz are tanking. I know it was crazy because the Lakers started off slow. Yeah, Jazz were in, like, second or third place to find them. Yeah. Yeah, that shit was. Walker Kessler. Walker Kessler, he's on, like, place to find him. Yeah. Yeah, that shit was.
Starting point is 01:33:25 Walker Kessler. Walker Kessler, he's on like Team USA right now. Yeah. I like him. Yeah. He's good. He's very good. He's going to be nice.
Starting point is 01:33:34 He's a good rim protector. I like this. This drink also. Yes, it's good. I can't believe they lock this now. I know. While it's unlocked, can you throw me one? Honestly, I can. They lock it back up.
Starting point is 01:33:44 That would be crazy if they locked it back up. Every time. They let us have one, and they're like, ah, lock back up. Robert? Please. TJ, want to spin our wheel just in case so we don't forget? Oh, yeah. And you are judged.
Starting point is 01:33:57 Oh, no. Tough. Not the judging man. It doesn't. Yeah, that was a bad throw. It hit the microphone. Not true. I'm right here. Could have got right in front of it, you're saying bad throw. It hit the microphone. Not true. I'm right here.
Starting point is 01:34:07 Could have got right in front of it, you're saying? But it did hit the microphone. It just landed in his lap. We also have this wheel, and if it lands on wet... Oh, whatever. We'll see. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Also, if it lands on carbone, we go to carbone. Really? Yeah. Okay. I have to pay.
Starting point is 01:34:24 Oh, that would have sucked. Oh, dry. So we're good to pay. Oh, that would have sucked. We're dry. So we're good to go. Super dry. How long are you in town for, Pat? Where are you staying? So I wanted to see how the Philly commute to New York is every time. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:34:40 I'm trying to get my tracksuit run. Thank you. Wait, what? It's not bad. Yeah, so run. Thank you. Wait, what? Thank you, bro. It's not bad. Yeah, so I'm standing Philly. You got to get in the chopper in a helicopter. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:34:54 I'm going to just take the nice little car. Okay. J.J. Redick used to live actually right by where Roan, because Roan and I live in the same neighborhood. He used to live across the street from me. He would commute when he was playing for the Sixers. Yeah, that's what I heard. He'd be a chopper.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Oh. Yeah. So I'm going to kind of see. I know I'm going to kind of be up here throughout the season, so I just wanted to see the commute. It's a nice fit, Roan. Oh, that's nice. It is.
Starting point is 01:35:16 When did you buy that? You got him this? I got you this, Kyle. Nice. What are you doing? I'm in right here, bro. Did I get anything? Oh, Lady Vols.
Starting point is 01:35:27 Oh, rest in peace. Who? That's Summit. That's Summit. I like Big Cat. Big Man knows. I like Big Cat. Your son maybe not so much.
Starting point is 01:35:36 Hey, chill, chill, chill. What did your son do? Not some good, very bad stuff. Thank you, Nick. I love this. Nick, thank you, bro. I feel great in this. I feel British. I feel British as hell in this.. Thank you, bro. I feel great in this. I feel British.
Starting point is 01:35:45 I feel British as hell in this. Hey, you do. You do look kind of British. Yeah, you do. Man, what's good blood? Yeah. Run down with them things. Really bad.
Starting point is 01:35:57 Yeah. Are you seeing Drake while you're in town or what? Oh, no. It's a business trip. I came here to give Barstool a lot of my energy. But a lot of people want your energy. People are coming up, Tommy Smokes being like, hey, can I get five minutes with Pat Betts today?
Starting point is 01:36:13 It's a career suicide. Pat, don't do it. I'm light, though. When I'm on other people's shows, I'm really light. I'm respectful. Yeah, you are very respectful on other people's shows. I saw Timberwolf. I forget his name.
Starting point is 01:36:27 He just trashed himself. Jeff Teague? Oh, yeah, Jeff Teague. He's a good storyteller. He's like, I got cooked left and right. Still in the wave. Where did this come from? My NBA player is still in the wave now.
Starting point is 01:36:39 Oh, yeah, right. Trying to get the podcast and everything like that. That's competition, my bad. That's another T-Wolf. What do you mean That's competition, my bad. Yeah, that's comp. That's another T-Wolf. What do you mean? It's a track suit. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:36:50 Yeah. I've been wearing it all day. It's good. It looks comfortable. Super comfortable. Yeah, it looks like it. You want to try it on? No.
Starting point is 01:36:58 Yeah, I don't think you could pull it off. You do have a good frame, kind of like Rondo, honestly. Yeah, I've heard that before. Have you actually? Pat said that when you left, that you have the the same frame as rondo under shoulders i do that as a compliment yeah rajan yeah i quando you got the same frame as quando ron just got locked up did he i'm shame they were trying to poison my boy they They were trying to fucking poison
Starting point is 01:37:25 Quanto Rondo. I'm happy they didn't. You want to hit this sparkle real quick? You guys got Draymond. We're not going to answer the tank case race winners because Pat doesn't know. Fair enough. Also, I don't really know. I don't remember at all. I have no idea who.
Starting point is 01:37:42 Who's up? Who won? You guys already played one? No. Nevada. U.S. Who's up? Who won? You guys already played one? Nevada. U.S. states that start with N, Nevada. North Dakota. Nebraska. Nebraska. Oh, there's booze.
Starting point is 01:38:01 Nebraska. So it's you. You can answer any of these questions. Any of them. Any of these categories. I'm going to stay with the U.S. states. Let's start with the N. Okay.
Starting point is 01:38:13 Which one are you going to say? Can I do New York? Yeah. There you go. Very nice. Hang of this. Solid, solid. I'll do New Hampshire.
Starting point is 01:38:23 Making a run on these. I say North Carolina. New Jersey. Clean it up. I'm going to say cocksucker. Oh. Oh. I was like, what was that for?
Starting point is 01:38:41 Yeah, it's over there. Oh, I'm going to go with shit. I'll go with Joe Montana. Wait, they never, oh, they did Shit, okay. I'll go with Cosmo. Oh, whoa, Pat. Oh, Shit. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:38:54 I'll go with Cosmo. I like this game already. Okay, yeah. I knew you had Cosmo in you. I know. Oh, no. I'll go Wanda. Gonna drop a hard cunt in here. I'm gonna go Amish Paradise.
Starting point is 01:39:21 I'll go Motherfucker. Ah, piss. Go motherfucker Ah piss Go Eli Manning I'm gonna go Michael Jordan Yeah I think I know the other two What the cusses? Or the MVPs.
Starting point is 01:39:46 Wait. No? No, because he, because Barkley and Malone, I think, broke him up. Oh, damn. That's just not right. Wow. I think Barkley and Malone, 93, and then Malone was 97 or 87. Okay, Shaquille O'Neal.
Starting point is 01:40:03 Well, no, you're out. No. Do you want to use your one re-entry? Yeah, you get one. Yeah, you have to give us all $10, and you can come back in. I'm cool. I'm like, I'm out forever? We'll play again.
Starting point is 01:40:16 You go until you get out, and then there's one person who wins. Okay, say less. Next round, you're back in. Okay. Damn. Go fat. F-A-T. They go quick.
Starting point is 01:40:25 Like a surgeon. This is your cataclysm. Oh no! What? Maybe it was named something else. New Mexico. Oh my god. You had it.
Starting point is 01:40:43 Fuck. Oh, that would have been an easier. Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker. I don't know. I'm going to go with blue. Ice. Phil Sims. Two Ms, I think.
Starting point is 01:41:04 I'll do Hostetler. Damn, I was hoping that one would just keep slipping. A V guy. Yeah. Who is that? He started for Phil Simms as the backup. KB, you're up. I'm up.
Starting point is 01:41:18 Let's go red. I'm struggling on the fifth. What? Fifth lightsaber? How about white? What? I'm struggling on the fifth What? Fifth lightsaber? How about white? I'm out You're out Green
Starting point is 01:41:33 I don't know what the fifth is Let's try Terry Collins Damn that's nice Collins Two L's Nice I'll go purple Damn, that's nice. Collins. Two Ls. Nice.
Starting point is 01:41:48 I'll go purple. I don't know what could possibly be after that. I think I may know. I'm going to try constipated. What? Oh. Weird ass song. What? Oh.
Starting point is 01:42:00 So who's still in? Me, Sass, and Nick? Yeah. Okay. I'll go with Iron Man. Fucking stupid. Go ahead, I'm in. Nick, it's on you.
Starting point is 01:42:22 Larry Bird? Nice. I'll go Thor I will go with Doctor Strange Not an original Not an original Interesting Kareem I don't think so No I'm all out Fuck Who is it Mrs. Shaggy Kareem? I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:42:46 No, I'm all out. Fuck. Who is it? Mrs. Shack? America. Not in America. It's LeBron and... Not three in a row. Am I...
Starting point is 01:42:56 LeBron never won three in a row? Did I win? Yeah, you won. What is the last lightsaber? Who else? I think yellow. Wilt? Yellow?
Starting point is 01:43:02 Oh, maybe it was Bill Russell? Who was the yellow lightsaber? Kareem? Ray does. I said Kareem. Bill Russell. Yellow? Oh, maybe it was Bill Russell? It was a yellow lightsaber. Kareem? Ray does. I said Kareem. Bill Russell. Yeah, fuck. Called it.
Starting point is 01:43:10 Did LeBron not win? It was the last George Carlin cuss word. Tits. It was tits? Oh, tits. Tits. Is it Tim Duncan? No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:43:24 Oh, Will. Fuck. Oh, Will. Fuck. All cawk-eye, black widow, tits. Damn. I didn't win the tank race. You won a case race? Included case races, too, if you ever won a case race. Oh.
Starting point is 01:43:36 Let's play one more. They didn't think that we played. One more? Oh, me and Che won. Let's play one more. One artist whose breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains. Three legendary bird Pokemon. Four original Pop-Tart flavors.
Starting point is 01:43:51 Four major components of earth's structure. Four NFL teams. Brandon Cooks played for five shows in Bravo's Below Deck TV series. Eight main cuts of French fries. Eight MLB players suspended for 100 or more games due to PEDs. Ten most watched games on Twitter. Tommy smokes. Tommy?
Starting point is 01:44:07 I'll fuck with him. Of course. Yeah, fuck that. I'm out, too. All right, let's just end the show. All right, we'll end the show. Let's play. Let's play.
Starting point is 01:44:22 Damn, Roan, you're a real follower. Yeah, get the hell out of here. I thought you were leaving. Wow, Roan tells us're a real follower. Yeah, get the hell out of here. I thought you were leaving. Wow, Roan tells us where his allegiance lies. Yeah. I got to say, he smelled so good. Yeah, he did. He smells amazing.
Starting point is 01:44:32 He made the whole room smell good. Let's play one last one. Yeah. I feel like it's a loser game, though, now that Pat was like, I'm out. Yeah. Ten more. Dorky. Pat kind of made me feel it.
Starting point is 01:44:44 Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, this one's kind of tough. I don't like these categories. This one's kind of tough,y. That kind of made me feel it. Yeah, this one's kind of tough. I don't like these kind of stuff. That's why he left. He loved that game. He did. I thought you looked pretty cool, man. That looks funny.
Starting point is 01:45:00 It does. I just took a massive shit. Really? How's one of those ones where you come out feeling fucking a pound lighter? All right, let's do one more because then I've got to go, too, to do some PMT stuff. All right, two first names of the Williams sisters, two monster foodies in Sesame Street, three ships of Christopher Columbus,
Starting point is 01:45:22 four presidents on Mount Rushmore. Five states with most people not able to vote due to felony conviction. Six female Olympians with most medals in gymnastics since 2006. Eight NBA players finish runner-up in MVP and never win the award. I don't know any of them. Nine original classes in World of Warcraft. Ten top dog names of 2022. Ten best-selling music artists of all time. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:45:49 All right. Who's up? Who won? I did. Nick. I'll go Venus Williams. Tough one. Serena.
Starting point is 01:46:00 Following up. What are we doing? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, and that's it. Yeah, we know that's your bad. Yeah, we doing? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, and that's it. Yeah, we know that's your bad, Boots. Boots just goes, that's my bad. Who else's bad would it have been? That sucks.
Starting point is 01:46:16 I saw him hover, and I was like, this certainly can't be doing what I'm about. I was saying, I was like, dude, I got a category. I was like, this one could be fun. Yeah, that one might have been the best one ever. That was the best one, easily. All right, one lead singer of Queens, two baseball teams located in Missouri.
Starting point is 01:46:33 I can't read these. Three painters who dominated the Roman Renaissance, four wrestlers in the main event of WrestleMania I, five of the most followed TikTok pages, five Simpson family members, seven most streamed Eminem songs, eight, this one sucks too. Yeah, it sucks. We had gold on our Eminem songs. Eight, this one sucks too. Yeah, it sucks.
Starting point is 01:46:45 We had gold on our hands. Yeah. I didn't see the answers. One, Agent of Vinny Chase. Two, subtitles of Ace Ventura movies. Three, tight ends with the most all-time receptions. Four, lead singers of Van Halen. Five, love languages.
Starting point is 01:47:01 Six, hosts of Family Feud. Seven, members of Full House. Eight, classifications of Living Things Things, nine closers over 300. This one sucks, too. Yeah, this one sucks, too. Shout out to everyone making them. That's so nice. You should be ashamed for making that one.
Starting point is 01:47:14 I appreciate it. Oh, we already did this one. Well, kind of. Fine, let's just do it. Let's just do this one. I didn't see the answers. Did you guys see the answers? Actually, I didn't obtain anything. Oh, all right. Here we go. I forgot just do this. I didn't see the answers. Did you guys see the answers? Actually, I don't remember. We didn't obtain anything.
Starting point is 01:47:25 Oh, all right. Here we go. I forgot. Venus and Serena are Kate and Nick's. Oh, so we're still going with this? Yeah, I should have looked, but I didn't. I didn't see anything. I can't see shit.
Starting point is 01:47:36 I did cheat on this one. Nina. Yeah. You don't know these? You should know this. Come on Of course Sass I'm gonna go with
Starting point is 01:47:52 Michael Follow up Nina Jackson No I'm not doing that bullshit That one's too easy Michael Pax Jackson You don't gotta restart it Jackson Michael Pax Jackson You don't gotta restart
Starting point is 01:48:07 It's Michael Jackson Oh my god Okay Pinta Santa Maria Nina the Pinta The Santa Maria In the bottom while we're drinking sangria.
Starting point is 01:48:27 What is that from? Step Brothers? That's both. That's both and ho. Or no. Step Brothers, yeah. Is that from Step Brothers? Or is that Cookie Monster?
Starting point is 01:48:34 Step Brothers. It is? Yeah. Cookie Monster? Is that Monster Foodie on Sesame Street? Cookie? Okay. George Washington
Starting point is 01:48:46 Five states with the most Florida Good answer California That's weird that it wouldn't be Florida. Oh, good answer. California? Oh! That's weird that it wouldn't be. Yeah, I was just going off populations.
Starting point is 01:49:13 Warrior. Oh, no. Yeah, that's dumb. Shit, I'm sorry. Five female Olympics, eight NBA players. Hack. Why? That's Bush League shit.
Starting point is 01:49:28 Yeah, dude. Taylor Swift. Oh, my God. Or. Oh, fuck me. Oh, you'd think, right? Oh, yeah. Isn't it a streaming age?
Starting point is 01:49:41 It's measured differently. Simone Biles. LES. LES. I'm thinking of put the fucking... I'm not going to do that. Ten best-selling music artists of all time. Let's go with... Do bands count?
Starting point is 01:50:19 Or does it have to be individual artists? Good question. I guess I'll go... What did he say? He said bands count. I'll go with the Beatles. I will go with Rogue. R-O-G-U-E.
Starting point is 01:50:40 KB? Kate's out? I'm out. Yeah, no. Of course I am. Sean Johnson. S-H-A-W-N? Yeah, S-H-A-W-N.
Starting point is 01:50:58 I'll go with the Rolling Stones Yeah, that didn't make sense Me and Kyle Crazy how big the Beatles How much bigger the Beatles were Than all those other bands Rolling Stones. Yeah, that didn't make sense. Me and Kyle. Crazy how much bigger the Beatles were than all those other bands. Mage. M-A-G-E. Elvis.
Starting point is 01:51:41 Oh, really? Druid. D-R-U-I-D. Max. Oh, shit. Elvis is two. That is new. Dog names. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:52:05 Priest. P-R-I dog names? Oh, shit. Priest. P-R-I-E-S-T. I don't know. Queen. Give me Warlock. There it is. Two in a row. I've got to play one more.
Starting point is 01:52:32 Oh, can we see the best songpads? Oh, I could have went with Mal Rushmore. Oh. Yeah, I know. I forgot about that one, too. Rihanna. She's the only woman on that list. Rihanna. She's the only woman on that list.
Starting point is 01:52:47 Rihanna over Taylor Swift. For shame. Madonna's on there. Glad she's on. Oh good. Zeppelin. Love me. Does Rihanna have a lot of like
Starting point is 01:52:59 I know she has a lot of hit songs but does she have a lot of songs in general? I think so. Yeah because she started early. Okay. I think it's one of those where if you started sorting through the list, you'd be like, oh, yeah. It's like you kind of.
Starting point is 01:53:10 I think Taylor Swift would add more hits and more songs. I think Taylor Swift was pretty close to being in the top ten. Yeah, but how do they do selling because of streaming? Arth Brooks is number two. Good show, everyone. All right Arthur Brooks is number two Good show everyone All right Pat Bev Made me
Starting point is 01:53:29 Think Sporkle is not cool I know I feel a little self-conscious right now Very self-conscious A little bit Okay See you everyone tomorrow We'll see you next time. Time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act. It's the act.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.