The Yak - Power Ranking the Coolest Cities in America | The Yak 5-19-23
Episode Date: May 19, 2023The Brandon Toe ShowYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, it's the Yak.
Is that an echo?
No.
Yak time.
Yak time.
Friday.
Friday.
Friday.
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we have a random toddler here and he called me Dada.
Really? He's not a random toddler.
Who is it? I don't want to say
because I don't want to upset his father.
Oh, it's someone's son?
Yes, his father is very easily
upsetable.
It's Rico's kid.
Oh my god.
Yeah, right.
I think the tiny tracksuit gave it away.
The tiny little track suit and the
slicked back hair or they're watching brad stevens out of bounds play so cute though i have to say
yeah it's a cute kid yeah super cute kid how's your son is he he's doing great he's got the
cutest kid in the history he really is i don't know how it happened and he also like it could
be any man on the street who's, like, bigger frame.
It could be black, white, whatever.
And he's always like, Dada.
Like, he says it out loud.
And, like, the guy.
He knows that you were a whore.
Yes.
Oh, 100%.
He's been aware.
But it is always, and I always, like, have to make a little joke with the dad or with the guy.
Been aware.
Yeah, he's been aware.
How did you just take that in stride?
Yeah.
I'm so, he'm so beaten down.
You had to talk with him at six months.
I've been a whore for a long time.
You're probably wondering why I didn't have to push once.
I just walked on out.
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
It's like a t-shirt cannon.
Shot him out.
Shot him out. Shot him out.
So we have four filled seats right now and three empty seats.
And we're going to use the big wheel to see if we can fill the empty seats for the Yak.
Big wheel keeps on turning.
I did something embarrassing today.
So TJ, if you could pull up my first Instagram story, I was trying to promo new anus merch.
Yeah.
Please buy it.
What else did you do today?
That was it.
I've been promoing my ass off.
It's my first Instagram story.
I'm promoing new anus merch.
And you know how on, yeah, on Instagram.
What a fucking embarrassment.
Yeah, I broke 50K.
How do you have 50,000 followers?
What are they looking for?
I hate that you're gaining followers faster than me.
You guys have more followers than I do on Instagram.
I have 10,000 likes.
God, I hate you.
We love it.
I remember that one.
I've seen your photos.
Comments from nine hours ago.
Ooh.
Yeah, dude. I have the social media I have it all figured out just don't do it
but TJ can you click on my story
I accidentally
not this one when I'm promoing
merch I accidentally added a picture in the bottom
right corner and
I already had posted it and people had already
screenshot it so I just I'm leaving it up but it's what is that what is it in a podcast fucking studio oh god picture go ahead i would
like that the rasslin logo no zoom in on that a little bit oh does that say wrestling oh wow
with nick teraney no dude how it's so small oh that no Nick, that's you. That's so fucking embarrassing.
But Nick, you made the wrestling logo and it did not have that extra text on there when you made it.
I still had the files, I guess.
Uh-huh.
So what were you doing?
I was chilling, dude.
I just went in there.
That's where I go to cut my farts.
Are you releasing that episode?
I don't know.
We didn't do an episode.
I just decided to take a picture.
Great shirts.
Embarrassing.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, that's what I was trying to do, plug the merch.
That's where I go to cut my farts.
Don't sell 100.
You're not allowed to make merch anymore.
Cut my farts is a hilarious phrase.
That's where I go cut my fucking farts, dude.
All right.
Let's spin the wheel of everybody in the office
and fill up the yak that way.
It's really a crapshoot.
Yeah, if it lands on someone who's not here,
on to the next.
On to the next, and we shame them for not being here.
I think 30% of the available workforce is here today,
and that might be high.
But go ahead.
Let's just see who...
Oh, we didn't eliminate five more death people yesterday either.
Let's eliminate ten people right now then.
Also.
Let's just figure out who to get.
Crazy.
Because that's not going to happen.
No one's going to die.
No, no.
Unless they do.
No.
They're all going to die eventually.
Every single person.
We really are.
And no one's getting out.
Oh.
Uh-uh.
I'm trying to think of who could be immortal.
Frank.
Here in the office yeah Frank
Spider
Spider could live forever
Or he could be dead now for all I know
I'm trying to think of people that are dieable as well
I think Blackman will die early
No no no
He could be lost in the desert
And not eat for days
Like a camel
Two camel's humps on his ass.
I could see Rudy leading a cult that goes to forever somehow.
You think Rudy will lead a cult here or he'll be back in Colorado and lead one of them?
I guess you've got to be out in a different state to lead a cult.
You've got to be out where there's space.
I've been getting TikTok algorithm lately of these women, all women, single mom communes.
And part of me thinks about packing up the car sometimes.
Not dealing with dudes.
How's that work?
Y'all all raise the children together?
I guess so.
It sounds pretty sweet, honestly.
And when you guys all sync up,
the plumbing is going to go to shit.
That's true.
That's true.
We do flush our tampons.
We shouldn't. We do. I know you do. I That's true. We do flush our tampons.
We do.
I like saying the word tampon.
Tampons.
Hurricane. I like saying hurricane.
That's a town in West Virginia.
There's a town called Hurricane in West Virginia?
We talk about it too often.
A little too often.
You've got to look up Jack Whitaker.
What's Jack Whitaker? I love his story because I think there's some parallels with you and look up Jack Whitaker what's Jack Whitaker I love his story
because I think
there's some parallels
with you and him
yeah
I do need to check
Jack Whitaker
won the big powerball
in 02 if you remember
like 315 million
I guess at the time
did he
and had like a
literal like series
of unfortunate events
of the worst
degree
it happened to him
after he won
yeah
everybody in his life
is this of the financial
nature or
other things other things a bunch of things Everybody in his life died. Is this of the financial nature or other things?
Other things.
A bunch of things.
Everybody in his life
died.
Deaths, robberies,
houses burned down.
Did he live though?
Yep.
No, he's dead.
So he didn't.
Oh.
Granddaughter died.
Wife died.
Daughter died.
Then he died.
Daughter's boyfriend died.
Oh my God.
House burnt down?
That was the final.
Fuck.
Damn.
Yeah. Well, yeah, he. Fuck. Damn. Yeah.
Well, yeah, he does sound like Brandon.
Yeah.
But if you think about it, if you think that those things were probably going to happen anyway.
This dude was, no, he was carrying around a suitcase with $500,000 in cash, and he got it all robbed.
That's just dumb.
Yeah.
That's just dumb.
In West Virginia, people knew he was the power
ball winner you got to move out of her come on win 300 million dollars yeah people love heroin
people love heroin nobody dislikes it it has to have the highest well nobody's indifferent about
it either nobody's yeah but that's another where if I got like a terminal diagnosis, I'd probably be like, all right.
Oh my God, yes.
Let's go.
Why not?
Don't fill me up.
There's the last couple weeks.
With heroin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think I would just probably be satisfied with cocaine at that point.
I don't know if I would go the full, heroin's a step past cocaine, right?
Yes.
It's a completely different drug.
I know it's a different drug, but I feel like it's a step further into hardcore drugs that heroin heroin over yeah heroin yes okay yeah yeah probably like
13 people on coke right now there's no casual heroin users i don't know there could be some
people have a lot of willpower and discipline casual heroin users tell they weren't you are
tell you're not i'm gonna play a round of golf, and if I've got time, I'm going to do some heroin.
You can't do anything intravenously casually.
No, I think you can for a time.
I don't think you can.
No way.
The effort you've got to put in.
Don't start this narrative.
And I think steroids are safe while we're at it.
I think everyone should be injecting steroids.
You can't lick a needle to get the bubbles out and be casual.
You can't do that in pajama pants.
Fair enough, fair enough.
I bet it is done in pajama pants.
Pajama pants are probably the uniform of heroin.
I donated to Calvin Harris yesterday.
I've been donating to my favorite mainstream artists lately.
Donated to Calvin Harris?
I've been pushing this.
Donate to your favorite local mainstream artists.
Why?
Isn't he well off?
What?
Because that's who I listen to the most are people like that.
So, nowadays, how are their Spotify deals?
How do they get paid?
Yeah, how do they?
They don't get paid enough.
Getting screwed.
So, donate to Diplo if you can.
I don't have any current artists that I support or listen to.
Donate to Led Zeppelin. Or former. I don't really, I don't have any current artists that I support or listen to. Donate to Led Zeppelin.
Or former.
I don't really,
I don't know.
Leonard Skinner.
I feel like I have
a lesser appreciation for music
than the rest of society.
Y'all all get,
like,
I'm surprised by that.
I like some of it,
but I don't get,
there's no one artist
that makes me crazy.
There's no one singer
that I would like,
I just dedicate myself to.
I just,
nothing like that.
I've never been a fanboy. Sad, because I think music There's no one singer that I would like I just dedicate myself to. I just nothing like that.
I've never been a fan boy.
Sad.
I think music is like the closest thing to a drug.
Sports are.
Food is more of a drug than music.
Good food is more.
I would say at its peak music over food when it hits the hardest.
I think I go food over music.
But when you're music in all forms, whether music hits the hardest, you're on drugs.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
But, I mean, music over food, live music.
Live music is way better than live food.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
All food is live, isn't it? I guess.
All right.
Man, I don't know.
Would I rather discover
a really good song or
a really good meal?
Oh, a song.
You don't even like music.
I still participate in the discussion.
You don't even like food.
I did a fruit roll up ice cream thing last night
and it was better than a song
has made me feel recently.
It really was?
Discovering a new restaurant is better than a song has made me feel recently. So it really was? It was like discovering something.
It was like, holy shit.
When's the last time you discovered a new food, though?
Last night.
Dude, I just found out of the wonders of bok choy.
Everything I have, I never got into that.
Never got into bok choy.
Never.
It's the fastest crop to grow in Stardew Valley.
All right.
I never had Chinese food until I went to college, and my roommate ordered.
That's weird.
I didn't either.
Yeah.
And my roommate ordered, what is it, sweet and sour chicken with the big dipping sauce?
And I was like, holy shit.
My story is exact.
Yeah, that's better than music.
All right.
You're right.
It was incredible. It has to be foods like that.
Remember when you discovered fish cheeks?
Yeah, but...
You left the trash in your apartment
so it would smell like that.
I did.
I still think music's a little better.
No!
TJ.
He's going to say video games.
Zaw? Is Zaw there?
No, Zaw's out.
He's probably not feeling too well.
Tweets were killing me, dude.
Don't know what he was talking about.
What a clue.
And we tried to get to the bottom of it, and he was, hey, we got nothing.
Yeah, Big Cat was like, what's going on, man?
He's like, oh, I guess none of you get sauced from time to time.
I was like, oh, shit.
And then Big Cat was like, yeah, but who was it?
And he was just, nothing.
Nothing.
We know nothing.
That was amazing. We should call him and be like, huh, but who was it? And he's just, nothing. We know nothing. That was amazing.
We should call him and be like, huh?
I think it's better that way.
I'd like to know nothing.
Yeah, I don't need to know.
When we find out, it kind of falls apart.
Because he was at the golf tournament, right?
Yes.
So he was definitely a hot one.
We get sauced sometime in life.
My bad.
Why is that?
That almost reads British.
Something about the way he speaks or
types is...
It's like old, maybe? Goodness gracious.
Heavens.
Good heavens.
Tommy is a big guy that says,
Oh, heavens.
Not your boy.
No.
He hasn't been in in a while. I'm going to have to get him in one day.
But does he want to?
He wants to.
Does he ask about it?
All the time.
Yeah, bring him in.
He wants to bad.
Today would have been a good day.
He could have been a fifth Mike here.
What are his thoughts on moving?
Have you shown him the house?
I have shown him the house.
He's excited about the house.
Tell him there's like bombs.
Tommy might have him a little girlfriend.
Oh.
Ah, young love.
Tommy might be having a little girlfriend.
I'm not going to go any further than that, but I think he's trying.
Is she much younger than him?
Oh, no.
I think she's a little older.
I think he's trying to slow play it because he doesn't want to dive into anything right before he moves.
Oh, how do you meet her?
Online video games?
Oh, I think it's a neighborhood.
Oh, a neighborhood girlfriend.
Oh, a neighborhood girlfriend.
But I think we got that going on.
He's got a jersey, girl.
Next time we come together with Tommy, he'll have to tell you about it.
Has he ever mentioned her to you?
Yeah.
That's serious.
Have you ever caught him holding hands outside or something?
I caught him hugging.
Woo!
So where were they hugging?
Just out in the street.
Hugging out in the street.
Hugging in the street.
CDA.
World to see.
We'll see how that goes.
Oh, my God.
But Tommy is being mature.
He's like, you know, I just don't want to dive into anything.
He said that.
So we'll figure it out.
He's got Riz.
That's where we're going.
Oh, I never doubted he would have that.
Yeah, he's got the mullet.
He's got the confidence.
Well, he doesn't have the mullet anymore.
Good at knives.
He's good at knifing.
You have that knife that I told you to go home?
It's still on my desk.
I've got to take him that knife.
I'll take him that knife today.
I just...
How many knives does he need?
I feel like your knife life has slowed down.
No, it hasn't.
It's never got to 200.
I'm getting there.
I'm still getting them sent to me.
I have a lot.
I just need to do a quick inventory.
Somebody sent me a workout machine. We talked
about it briefly yesterday, but it is
a platform much like that.
It's a long platform
and you plug it in the wall and it just
vibrates. And it vibrates to
in the middle, you put your feet
and you'd be walking. You simulate
walking. If you put them like this, you simulate jogging.
Is it a workout or a recovery?
Can we see someone use it?
I think it's both.
What's it called?
It's called the Waver Recovery Plate or something like that.
Waver Vibration Plate.
Yeah, recovery would imply that you did something beforehand.
I think it's vibration.
And I got on it, and it really does get you shook up.
Do you have it here?
I don't know what it – huh?
Do you have it here?
It's not here.
It's in my house.
My wife won't stop sitting on it.
But, yeah, so that's it.
And you just get on it.
Look, he never gets on it.
He just talks about it.
That's dumb.
That's a bad sign.
I don't know what they do.
Yeah, what the hell?
I don't know what it does.
Let's see.
But I think it's going to be very effective when I figure it out.
How?
Why would that be effective?
I don't, I think it stimulates your muscles.
Why don't you just go drive on the highway
on a rumble strip? I don't know if she's going to do it or not.
This belongs in the Howard Stern
studio. Oh yeah, look at her go.
She's not doing anything
with it though.
I would just put my... Oh, it does have those ropes.
My yoo-hoo's on that.
She's getting
vibrated right now as she talks.
What is this supposed to do?
Don't know.
People will do anything but the five things you're supposed to do.
You don't put much creative.
I texted him the other day.
I said, do you know about this?
He didn't know, so I was trying to figure it out.
I think it'll work.
I think it's going to help me, but I don't know.
No, it's not going to help.
It might.
You don't know.
Yeah, it might.
It can't hurt at this point.
It probably could.
Jiggle me around a little bit.
No, I feel like that could hurt you.
Shake me around like a big bag of milk.
If you get ripped from being jostled, why isn't everybody ripped?
That's the perfect exercise. That's not an exercise. That's not. Being jostled. Why isn't everybody ripped? That's the perfect exercise.
That's not an exercise.
That's not.
Jostled.
People will do anything but actually work out.
It's infuriating.
I didn't ask for this to be sent to me.
Somebody sent it to me.
You got to.
Let's just quit eating.
I don't want to.
We could do that.
We'll just discover new songs.
How's yours 20,000 steps a day?
That's a lot of fucking steps.
Kyle was like, yeah, I do 27,000.
But that's Kyle.
Kyle's in shape.
I just walk to work.
It's not a shape thing.
Walking is easy.
Walking sucks.
Walking is easier than sitting.
I just don't like chilling in my apartment.
Actually, walking is fine, but when you turn to running, it immediately turns to sucking.
That sucks.
I just walk to work and back.
10,000 up, 10,000 back.
You don't live that far away?
Yeah.
That's 10,000 steps?
That's a while.
Damn.
That's a long walk.
What is it, 40 minutes?
Probably a little bit longer.
I'll stop and grab a coffee.
Yeah, it's like an hour.
I listen to music.
No walk is not going to be, Chicago is going to be more difficult to walk, I think.
No, Chicago is super walking.
Depending on where you live, I'm going to be 55 miles away.
Oh, for you, yes.
I just found a place I like.
It's got a step from the kitchen.
Pretty much.
Crazy, huh, Kate?
Oh, that's wild.
Damn.
Kate's has a mountain in hers.
Yeah, it has the aggro crag.
It has the aggro crag.
She has a climbing wall that goes up to somebody's waist.
Put the baby in the cave.
That's not a cave.
He can climb on up the aggro crag.
It's a small space enclosed by curtains.
She needs this.
It's got to be wacky.
Yeah.
Out of this big bro, is he processing the fact that we're moving?
He doesn't know we're moving yet.
Does he understand what else is coming?
He points at it sometimes and is like, maybe.
But I don't think he like, yeah, he gets that there's something going on,
but I don't know if he like fully understands what.
I feel like one thumb a little bigger.
How old?
He's a little over two.
I don't think you look pregnant enough yet.
I got the special pants on that go all the way up to your, I don't know.
I feel like there's a hefty nugget in here.
People are probably like,
enough, we get it.
Gross.
You can't really tell with the black either.
What was the noise you made the first time?
Uh?
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, that was a joke.
Oh, it wasn't a joke.
Yes, it was.
It wasn't close to a joke.
I'm not unattracted to pregnancy at all.
It was a natural visceral reaction you had.
Yeah, it was. Sorry. Oh, it's all. It was a natural visceral reaction you had. Yeah, it was.
Sorry.
Oh, it's okay. It's weird
when you see the full... Sometimes people
can see the handprints and shit.
Oh, yeah.
I don't love that.
It's crazy.
I used to put a bowl of ice cream on my stomach last time
and watch it just dance around.
Jeff DeLowe's hovering.
He's not hovering. He's on stress panic oh he has a sweat yes no tournament when is it
monday monday the trophies look really cool the team i won't look at it but i've heard it does
yeah trying to compare his workload for this tournament to something in history. An individual person.
Like, just maybe does he work more than a Secretary of State
works in their entire four-year term?
I'm talking about in like a one-week window.
Okay.
I'd like some context there.
Maybe a GM draft week.
Maybe a Cardinal deciding a poop.
Who has the busiest job?
What is the busiest job? It's got to be, is it an accountant? No cardinal deciding a pope. Who has the busiest job? What is the busiest job?
It's gotta be, is it an accountant?
No, it's a celebrity
who does all the
shit. Who tours, who is
always doing shows
and commercials and podcasts.
Steve Harvey? Those people are
Shaq. Silently overworked.
I don't get why Shaq
DJing. You don't need to do it all.
Michael Strahan does a lot of stuff.
When do they choose the celebrity that's going to be ubiquitous,
like Steve Harvey is now?
Steve Harvey has four or five shows, and he's everywhere.
People like that are always just dropping two books a year.
What are you doing there?
Ellen had a moment.
She's not really in it now, but Ellen did everything for about four or five years there.
She looks pretty rough right now, too.
Yeah.
It wore her out.
Yeah, it was a quick.
The only way she gets worn out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Being that she's.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah.
I loved her stand-up when I was a kid.
I thought it was like the funniest shit.
Very funny.
Yeah. I was obsessed with Rosie O'Donnell as a kid
I loved her show
Rosie and Koosh Balls?
She would throw them out in the audience
and I was like that's crazy
She would let kids design the desk
and I would always draw desks to send them to Rosie
and she never picked mine
My desks were crazy
Never once got on there
They built the desk to look like the kids drawings I believe I liked mine. My desks were crazy. Never once got on there.
Well, they built the desk to look like the kids' drawings, I believe.
That's how Maxwell Jacob Friedman became famous.
That's right.
What did he do?
Opera?
He did a song on Rosie O'Donnell's show when he was five.
So he was famous as a child?
Yes, he didn't become famous, but he did go on the Rosie O'Donnell show.
It's the same presence as well.
He's an intimidating little boy.
I don't think in your wrestling research you've really gotten to AEW much.
You haven't mentioned it,
so that's a blind spot for you.
I know a little about AEW.
All elite wrestling,
because they're doing very well.
Yeah, I know.
I broke some news.
Well, you didn't.
You got tweeted that.
Yeah, I have sources.
How does anybody else break news?
Right.
Stephen Che blogs about it, and then they take the tweet and they put it out.
That's how you break news.
Stephen Che's sneaky turning into one of those at least two days off a week guys.
He's been missing a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's turned into that guy.
I guess he has.
Huh. Now we got Connor Griffin sitting back there. Oh, he's turned into that guy. I guess he has. Huh.
Now we got Connor Griffin sitting back there.
Oh, Connor's here.
Welcome, Seagriff.
How are you in Portnoy?
Have not talked at all.
I wasn't expecting.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
God damn it, I love to hear you talk.
Thank you very much.
We had a meeting in the bathroom that once.
Oh, yeah, we did have a very awkward meeting in the bathroom
where that night of the stream,
I don't know if it's that great of a story,
but it was just like I had no idea what to say.
It was after he publicly called me a clown to everybody on Twitter,
and we hadn't like officially, officially met,
and I go into the stall to go to the bathroom
because Stanko was at the urinal,
and then I hear somebody else go into the second stall.
And I'm like, that absolutely has to be Dave.
Like, I just knew it was going to be Dave.
You could tell from his stream?
What?
Did you tell from his stream?
No.
But I won't say anything about the stream.
You felt his aura in the bathroom?
I felt.
I just knew there had to be.
That's the stream of a wealthy man.
Yeah.
No, there had to be, like, some instance where I was going to run into him, and I heard somebody come to the bathroom.
I was like, that's got to be Dave.
Sure enough, go and I wash my hands.
He comes out of the stall, and I didn't say anything.
He didn't say anything to me.
Go and wipe my hands, and it was just there were no paper towels.
So you wiped it on his shirt?
No.
Oh.
So I was about to leave, and then I saw him go and wipe, try and wipe
his hands off and there was nothing there.
And I was like, I think we're out.
And he says, oh. And then I
look underneath the cabinet
and there are paper towels there. I said, oh, there are some
here. And then he just looked at me like
very mean. He was like, so I guess
we're not out. And I was like,
I guess we're not. That was electric.
What a story. That was electric. That's what I said. It's not that great of a story. It was like, I guess we're not. That was electric. What a story.
That was electric.
And I just walked out.
That's what I said.
It's not that great of a story.
No, it was.
It was very, very awkward.
I didn't know what to say.
I hesitated, and I was like, okay, I guess I'm just going to leave.
Is there something we can get him to do play-by-play over?
Yeah, what can we get him to say?
I'd like for him to do play-by-play of something.
Let's challenge him, though.
What is something that's hard for him to do a play-by-play?
Can we just bring somebody in here?
No, no, no.
Let's pull up a video and have him do a play-by-play for it we just bring somebody in here? No, no, no. Let's pull up a video and have him do a play-by-play for it.
Toe surgery, maybe?
No, no, no.
Nothing Yakult?
No, no.
Sports is too easy.
Not wrestling.
Maybe a drain unclog, one of those?
I love those videos.
That's not bad at all.
Drain unclog.
Maybe the Beetlejuice compilation?
From Howard Stern?
Yes.
You love him, don't you?
He's the funniest.
He's the man.
Spell red.
Hmm.
L-S-T-E-R.
Yeah.
That's how it went?
Yeah.
Wow.
Have you ever seen his Beetlejuice videos?
I'm aware of who he is, but I've never seen him.
Oh, man.
He showed up in late day WCW and got hit on the head by a guitar. Have you ever seen his Beetlejuice videos? I'm aware of who he is, but I've never seen him. Oh, man.
He showed up in late day WCW and got hit on the head by a guitar.
Jeff Jarrett.
Oh, you could maybe do that one.
Beetlejuice getting hit in the head with a guitar.
You guys give me anything.
I'll do it.
All right.
We'll think of something.
Is there anything you are good at doing?
Well, I come from a play-by-play background. Not like sports.
Something you're interested in.
I don't know.
Yeah, what are your hobbies?
See, I've been trying to figure that out, Kate.
Who are you?
When people ask me that, I have no idea what to say.
You don't know your hobbies?
No, I really don't think I have.
I watch sports, and I come to work, and I do my work,
and then I go home, and I just watch sports.
But that's not really like a hobby.
You know what I mean?
He's meant to be a sports broadcaster.
That's what a sports broadcaster would say.
They don't do anything.
But I do know I need to find something because I realize with sports, obviously I love like the highs and the lows.
But I just need something where it could just be good all the time because there's been so much heartbreak.
Heroin.
Well, yeah, that too. Maybe.
There's just been a lot of heartbreak. I need something good
that I could just... Oh, heartbreak. Something that's good
all the time. I feel you. He's a Philly fan.
What do you like doing physically?
I mean, I love
playing basketball, but that's, again, it's sports.
I need to do something outside
of sports if we could find something for me.
Woodworking, perhaps? Yeah, but that's not good
all the time.
What about splinters?
That's true.
Hiking?
Get out in nature?
Snakes.
I wouldn't think outside the box.
It sounds like you like sports and commentary, so you can figure out something with that.
I like, yeah, I'll watch movies, but that's not really like.
What were your hobbies as a kid?
Oh.
Chase nostalgia.
I'll think about that.
I made claymations all the time i did that i did that um i made comic books i did too and tried to sell them and i read i did too
i did sell them yeah yeah i was making claymations and trying to sell them you're trying to sell your
claymations what claymations were you making hold on what are the odds that a group of five people
three of them made claymations when they were younger?
Who was the third?
One.
Him.
You and him.
Jason.
Jason did it.
That's four out of seven people in this.
I loved Wallace and Gromit.
Mr. Bill.
Claymation is that prevalent?
Also, when you were a kid, that technology wasn't around for you to do it yourself.
California raisins were a big deal when I was in the 80s.
I'm saying at your home, you would not be making claymations.
I wasn't making claymation.
I would just press and stop, start.
It was real choppy.
My cousins would take their old wrestling figures and they would do the stop motion wrestling.
Yeah, it was a lot of that.
I would do that as well.
A lot of wrestling.
Video camera was my favorite toy growing up.
They were very enterprising.
I didn't do any of that shit.
I hit rocks with a baseball bat.
Did you have a video camera when you were...
I had a Nintendo.
I didn't have a video camera.
That video camera was highfalutin.
I would have never had that.
Video camera is what you used?
Yeah.
Cam quarter.
A real big cam quarter.
It was pretty small.
It was like the way...
Handheld?
Yeah.
I had the Flip HD.
It was like the same size as my phone.
It came out when I was, I thought I was going to be a YouTuber.
Were you guys, I was a YouTuber.
Yeah, I have old videos.
Fuck.
You were a YouTuber?
TJ, can you pull up one?
TJ, we're going to need to see one.
Yeah.
KB, do you have one?
So I was doing a bunch of like cool trick shot videos.
And then I did one on, I barely decided to upload it of my boy Shelton
uh he's pouring a drink on himself and he was shirtless and it went crazy and it was just
five seconds of him pouring juice on his shirtless body I think it just hit like the pedophilia
crowd they made it go off oh yeah you tweeted this Oh shit Oh fuck
You're getting the greens
Fucking up big time
These are hammer-ons TJ
Hammer-ons
You were posting your L's
Oh did you put in the code where you couldn't lose
You piece of shit Oh, did you put in the code where you couldn't lose?
You piece of shit.
That's one of those big, awesome TVs I'm talking about.
Real thick boys.
What's the guitarist of Dragon Force, Herman Lee?
How could anybody ever do that?
How many views?
I was pretty good at Guitar Hero.
More than I get.
Good for you. I got good. At first, I thought I was going to at Guitar Hero. More than I get. Good for you.
I got good.
At first, I thought I was going to plug it in,
and I was just going to be playing guitar,
and it was going to be great.
And I don't think I understood what I was doing for the first week.
Finally, I started getting the rhythm.
But I could never do past the first ten songs.
Yeah.
It was fun. It was fun once you got it.
That would be a hell of a – 20 years later playing guitar hero would be very fun yeah probably it's expensive now the getting the guitar and everything because they don't
make them anymore they're oversaturated was rock band good rock band was good i loved it
yeah i never played rock band i only only played guitar hero. The singing was stupid, but
the drums were fun. I liked the singing.
Some people were playing it on their
calculator.
What? Is that guitar
hero? I don't
think so. How would you do that? On their
TI calculator.
No, I don't
remember that. No, TI had a calculator. I just thought it was
a rapper. I was thought he was a rapper.
I was in a band in 7th and 8th grade.
What the fuck was that?
You knew that was a calculator brand.
Also, does anybody call Texas Instruments T.I.? I call him T.I.
Yeah, I had a T.I.
No one says it because it's T.I. 84.
All right, fair enough.
84, 89.
I had the silver edition one.
It was a nice piece of equipment.
Yeah, it was very nice.
Do you want to draft something?
Yes.
Tearmaker?
Thought we'd been doing good.
Why don't you throw me a hide-in?
Black cherry.
No, mango.
Mango.
It's a good mango.
What do you all want to draft?
Yesterday we did cereals and sports logos.
Sports logos were okay.
Go ahead and do that.
Guys. Whoa. Can't have it anywhere near that okay. Go ahead and do that. Guys.
Whoa.
Can't have it anywhere near that guy.
That was a bad throw.
I was throwing it to Brandon,
and then I realized mid-throw, mid-heave.
I'm not catching it.
Oh, yeah.
That was my fault.
Guys, I'm about to crack myself a high noon.
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High Noon.
Thank you.
Love you guys to death.
They are the best.
They're everywhere.
Fucking with them.
Delicious.
First sip.
I said, I got off the Trulies.
I didn't even want to say it, but Trulies White Claws, never again.
Once you go high noon, you can't.
There's no going back.
It's not the same.
Post Malone fucks with them heavy, I guess.
Yeah.
People are worried about Post Malone.
Yeah, I saw that.
People were not.
I'm quite honest, not sure what to make of it.
Yeah, I mean, I think he.
Whoever stole World of T-shirts hat, of it. Yeah, I mean, I think he... Whoever stole World of T-Shirts' hat,
fuck you, piece of shit.
Oh, I saw that.
Fuck you.
I kind of didn't mind.
No, that was fucked up.
Don't do that.
He gave it back.
Did you do it on camera?
Yeah, I did it on camera.
It was on camera.
I want to see it.
How did they get that camera angle?
That was fucked up.
That was fucked up.
It was, like, from above.
There's public security cams all over the world,
but there's a bunch of Times Square that you can access online and just look at.
That's how they get those?
People will just wait until Josh shows up on them and screen record it.
People are obsessed.
I have eye-in-the-sky footage of Josh in Times Square.
What?
Watch his videos.
Critique his videos.
Don't steal his shit.
Yeah, no.
It's kind of funny though remember my old college had an oak grove cam that was 24 7 and sometimes i would call my mom be like
hurry go to the grove cam and i'd wave at her and then i'd ask for money oh i'd buy i'd buy drugs
would you buy drugs with your mom no no that used to be a big thing on 4chan people would be like
yo there's this live cam.
Somebody go do something funny on it.
Yeah, so Shia LaBeouf was doing this art
installation and people on 4chan were going
and just tearing it down.
That's broken. And then they changed it
to just like a flag in the middle of a field.
And 4chan found it in like
two days or something.
They could tell by like the sun.
It was in Tennessee or something?
It was like flight patterns and the way that the sun. Tennessee or something? Yeah.
It was like flight patterns and the way that the sun set over it.
They found it very quickly.
Holy shit.
And someone drove and took it down.
People are crazy.
People are mean.
People are pretty bad.
What do you want to draft?
We did snacks.
Are we spinning the wheel?
Oh, to fill out who's on the show?
Let's get one person.
Alright, spin it and see who we get.
If they're not here, they're not here.
It's going to be Malasek.
Colin Cooper's here.
Colin.
I'll text him.
I don't have his number.
Big Cat was like, hey, I'm sorry I'm out today.
He's like, well, you had a baby and you've been here all week,
which is incredible.
So I think you're okay.
You're all right.
You're asleep.
Ron's doing a live show in Boston tonight with Pat Bev.
I guess Sass is.
Sass did a show in Cleveland last night.
Yeah.
I wonder where he is tonight.
Where is that?
Detroit, maybe.
Detroit, I think.
Cleveland, Detroit.
That would make sense.
It's a very economical trip.
Yeah.
You want to draft cities?
We could draft cities.
Oh, yeah.
I like that.
U.S. cities?
World cities. Yeah, probably. U like that US cities world cities yeah probably
US cities
US
we could do US cities
I like that one
I feel like I've been
to a good amount
and then I would like
to afterwards
pull up one of those
live Times Square
videos
and I would like
it commentated for us
I love that
you got it Connor
I can do that yeah? I can do that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can do that.
Yeah, you can.
What's your go-to karaoke song?
Mine?
Yep.
It's a little bit of an odd one.
The Lizzie McGuire movie,
What Dreams Are Made Of.
I just like songs that get the crowd involved.
Right.
And the Hey Now, Hey Now is the easiest one.
Oh, yeah.
That's good.
Yep.
And usually, like, you know, the people who I see at karaoke bars are people who all grew
up on that movie.
So that's probably the one that I go with.
Smart.
Smart man.
Got to know the crowd.
That's the key.
Yep.
Have you ever performed for a crowd, like, outside of a karaoke bar?
Singing-wise?
Anything.
Yeah. Well, I used to do public speeches.
That's what I thought you did.
Yeah.
On what topics and where?
I did one while I was in student council in high school.
So I was class president, student body, so I would give speeches.
Gave an eighth-grade graduation speech, which was pretty fun.
And then I also did one speech competition where I talked about Boeing, the airplane company,
or something like that.
You were given that prompt?
Yeah.
I would never talk about that in my life,
but I had to do research,
and then I put together a speech on it.
My high school, our high school,
is the biggest speech powerhouse in the nation.
Really?
I know in the state.
State, probably.
They had like 50 state titles.
I don't know who they were facing.
Or if they're going up against other West Virginians.
Yeah.
You said something interesting earlier when we were doing something,
but you did not say your hometown was Wheeling, West Virginia.
I was born in Wheeling, but I'm from a small town.
I live now in a small town.
We lived in a village.
Our address is Wheeling, but it's called the village of Bethlehem.
We have our own mayor.
He's always like 17 or 18.
All right.
Yeah.
So it's a small town
adjacent to Wheeling?
Yeah. We just got our first restaurant.
Wheeling's getting a lot of work done right now.
Did you see the video?
Is that real?
There's no way.
It'll be $1,300.
There are apartments downtown
that are in the thousands.
But how?
That's why no one's buying them. It was a wheeling promotional buildings or something they're putting in bars and music venues
and wedding venues and new apartment building they made it seem i said i'm moving to wheeling
what's wheeling great 30 000 40 000 it was 30 like but now it's like down in closer to 20 then
at the end of the video he's like not not everything I said in this video may come to fruition.
Yeah.
This is just ideas.
It will not.
Look at this.
You can't do this when people are actively leaving the city
and not moving there.
Okay.
This may really look like a hot ticket item.
Here's why the city of Wheeling, West Virginia
is going to be unrecognizable in the next two years.
Unrecognizable.
Unrecognizable.
This is coming to Wheeling, West Virginia.
And in this video, we're going to show you just a few of them. Number one is the Street Skate Project. Unrecognizable. Yeah. Wow.
That's not a lot of money.
Not a lot.
Not a lot of money to...
Paving four city blocks.
Convention center, no one's gonna go.
That's nice. rebuilt as the new welcome center to Wheeling. Number three, Dorison Main apartment complex.
That's nice. It houses over 46 new apartment
units and it's going to have a monthly
revenue from $1,000 to $1,300.
That's insane.
Because what's the industry?
Who would be living there? What's the jobs downtown?
They should market to poor people
like dollar beer bars and dive
bars.
Number five, Waterfront Hall.
You can't do all this in two years either.
Seems pretty happening.
It hasn't showed people.
No, I haven't seen a single
being in this entire thing.
But they're doing it.
They're doing it.
Hey.
Maren Roback, no less.
Roback shirt.
Is this your first appearance?
I don't think so.
Nah, can't be.
I think it is.
Yeah, maybe it is.
First, like, legit one, but one time last summer my friend was in.
We just sat down for a couple minutes.
Oh, yeah.
So it's your second.
Giovanni.
Oh, my God.
You have a lot of takes on American cities.
You've traveled a lot.
You travel to London a good bit, don't you?
He does lowering the bar.
London is the homeland.
Yeah, okay, that's what I thought.
Is it really?
His dad is British.
Ah.
Yeah.
What part?
My dad's from Hartlepool.
It's like more northern-y.
What a fun Hartlepool.
They could end their towns like two syllables shorter and it would still be fun.
Would he still do very British things in the house?
All my friends still hear his accent.
I don't really.
The only thing I hear from him now is he says Tuesday.
That's pretty much it.
Tuesday.
Yeah.
Would he eat weird shit?
No, he's a really good cook, though.
Like, wake up to, like, a full English breakfast.
Yeah, that sucks.
No, it's delicious.
Does he spank you?
You get a proper one.
You had, like, a hotel one.
I saw Tommy's, like.
What's a proper one, though?
What's proper?
Just, like, you're not getting it from a hotel.
You go brunch somewhere.
People are so posh.
It's beans, dude.
It's the last thing I want when I wake up.
Oh, it's sausage,
beans, you got... Blood sausage.
You got Yorkshire puddings. What's in a
Yorkshire pudding? It's basically...
No, no, no. There's nothing in it. It's basically
like a pastry, but it's gravy on top.
Oh.
That didn't sound good.
If you're from the South, you would love that.
Did you do Sunday roasts?
Sunday roasts is fantastic, yes.
Okay.
What are you roasting?
I don't do it, personally, but...
Like meat cooked in a bread.
Like every restaurant in England, they'll do Sunday roasts, and you go there.
That is essentially like brunch in England, is just you get a proper Sunday roast.
Stop saying proper.
It is.
He's dropped proper twice already.
We're not assuming it's improper.
Exactly.
We're going to draft cities.
We're going to draft cities.
U.S. cities.
If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?
A mackey's.
A Sunday roast.
Toby Carvery.
Oh, what a good bit.
Sunday roast. What a beautiful culture
Sunday roast
Top 99
Let's go
Everyone settle in
That's a lot to look at
Springfield's on there
Davenport
I don't even know where that is
Iowa You got one choice No we're going to drop four Four look at like springfields on there we don't know i don't even know where that is iowa
you get one choice no we're gonna drop four or richmond is low-key pretty sweet
tbh all right let's spin to see who drafts first
i don't know i feel like there's got to be some maybe some limitations or regulations
what what are we going for? Aesthetic beauty?
Are we going livability?
You have a home in each of these.
Who has the best life?
Yeah.
Ah, yes.
Right.
And is it- Maybe one per season or what?
Like aura, reputation.
What do you want to have a winter home?
What?
I was asking him winter home, summer home, stuff like that.
We want to do that?
Or-
This is your house portfolio and you're just like, damn, this guy's got it fucked up.
This guy's got a house
in Charlotte and Denver.
What about you're planning
like a bachelor,
bachelorette party
and this is where you're all going
for the best weekend ever?
That limits it to just like
fun bar cities.
Okay, fair enough.
All right, I'm ready.
Okay.
Let's just see where we are.
So we're going to spin the wheel
to get our draft order. Or we're going to spin the wheel to get our draft order.
Or we're going to spin the wheel to see where the draft starts,
and we'll just go in order from there.
Go.
Wait, is the booth drafting?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
KB with the first pick.
We'll go.
You got the first pick last time.
Yesterday we went KB to the booth and to here.
Okay.
And it would end at Colin and start back around.
So you'll have the last pick of the first round and the first pick of the second round.
I don't want to do that.
I want to go KB, KB.
I want to be third.
Let's do that.
Let's do that.
That was confusing to me.
It'll go all the way to Colin.
No, not Colin.
What's his name?
Connor.
It'll go all the way to Connor and then start coming back.
But KB's in the middle.
It's going to feel weird.
Why'd you move seats?
Yeah, you moving seats changed everything.
Did you see better there?
No, but I was too close to the camera.
Too close to the camera.
That's a good color on you, my man.
Thank you.
It's a little washed out on the screen.
I wanted to tell Colin Cooper that his color also.
I was looking at myself and said, holy shit, I look good.
That's the true color.
I need that, yeah.
Whoa.
I like that style.
We got to get you green.
We got to get you on a nasty rollercoaster in Tycoon.
Hell yeah.
This is like you're back in 2007 on an
iMac editing.
Yeah, that was fun.
Photo booth features
blew my mind.
The first MacBook.
Yeah, that shirt needs to come in pink.
And you got a snag one.
Look at that on you.
That's pretty cool.
Alright, so Kyle, Kate,
Nick, me, Cooper,
Booth,
back.
Yeah.
A lot of people don't know this.
Your Kamas does 1-1 in the office.
Who he wants to fuck the most
if he could. We are neighbors.
What? Yeah, we live on the blocks from each other.
Oh, really?
What does that add?
That doesn't infer anything.
Does that add to the fuckability?
We're just good friends.
I think accessibility.
Vicinity adds to the fuckability.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
No, just friends.
Just friends.
Shout out Joey.
Love that guy.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Can't rule out that you're going to joey camasta no we can't i
don't think anyone can no nobody can rule that for me everybody but kate pretty much
all right let's see let's do this see the board there's a lot to take in there kyle so get as
close as you need to get so is this in any order though like is it like all right this is my number
one overall?
Oh, you're going to want to take your number one.
No, no, no, I know.
But I'm saying, like, is that how it's going to be graded after?
No, it should be graded by a –
I don't know what I'm going to take.
I'm sure it's there.
But I think right off the bat, I want to snag this up before anyone else gets it.
You're going to get the one everybody else wants.
I don't think – I think I want Honolulu.
Wow.
High cost of living.
High cost of living.
Not worried about island fever?
We're not taking the price.
Enjoy paying $20 for sea salt.
Was that part of this?
Yes.
In this situation, I afford it.
It's too late.
I'm glad I'm still happy with it.
No.
I think that's very silly.
You are so isolated.
It was stupid, I think.
I have to see the board.
I got to see.
Cities.
Every city is available. Everybody. I'd like to see the continental United States. to see. Cities. Every city is available.
Everybody.
I think we're on like the fourth grade.
It helps me to see maybe there's something I'm not thinking of.
I definitely want to go somewhere a little south.
Why is Sioux Falls there?
Oh, because that's where Guy Fieri's from.
Oh, yeah.
New Haven, Connecticut.
No, I don't think that's true.
Louisville, Florida.
That is.
California.
No, Guy Fieri's from Columbus.
Santa Rosa, California.
Is San Diego on there?
I fucking loved.
I lived in North County for about four years.
That should have been my first.
I'm going to do San Diego, and I loved it.
There it is.
It is so much fun.
So many cool beach towns.
So much to do.
I disagree.
You don't fuck with it?
I mind if it's not taken.
Padres, great stadium.
Let's go.
Everybody's in a good mood.
It's like a Tuesday afternoon.
Everybody's surfing.
People are very fit, very attractive.
Very friendly.
San Diego.
So this sucks.
Yeah, San Diego's awesome.
Okay.
All right.
So that was the only one I was...
Kate, you really fucked me over.
This is too many cities.
Great dog beaches.
All the dogs are happy.
Okay.
There's awesome.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Give me.
New York City.
Yeah.
Good play. Yeah. Good play.
Thank you.
Well, I like to think of myself first and foremost as a political figure.
Somebody that sees the world through the lens of political scape and everything.
So I want somewhere as liberal as I can get.
Don't do it.
I thought about doing that.
No, give me Chicago.
Okay.
Give me Chicago.
It's a great city.
Great city.
Going to live there.
Good picture of it, too.
Great picture.
Crisp.
Very nice.
So is your 1-1 still on the board?
Yes, it is.
What?
You're going to find a way to hate on me.
This is about to suck.
I know.
This is about to suck.
It is. It's You're going to find a way to hate on me. This is about to suck. I know it is. This is about to suck. It is.
It's an absolutely great city.
If you do what I think you're about to do,
I'm going to hit you in the face.
You can't do this.
What do you think it's going to be?
What do you think?
Oh, you think I'm going to take Tuscaloosa.
Right.
Oh, no.
That would have been crazy.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Dog shit.
We're going to go with Nashville.
It's trash.
Why is that trash?
You've got to get past.
You are looking at the aspect.
You think the little bike pedal thing.
That's it.
That's the culture.
That's the culture.
My sister lives in Nashville.
You like the suburbs?
Well, she lives in the suburbs now.
She used to live in the city, but Nashville is a fantastic place.
I didn't mind it, but I didn't love it.
I love Nashville.
Yeah.
So dismissive.
All right, New York.
Which one do you live in?
Aloha.
All right.
Back to being happy with my-
DJ.
Nola.
Nola.
Nola.
I get shit on for Nola.
We're taking Nola?
Nola kind of sucks.
Yeah.
It sucks.
I love Nola.
It's like Nashville took a shit. It's sticky in Nashville. Oh, yeah. taking NOLA? NOLA kind of sucks. Yeah. It sucks. I love NOLA. That's like Nashville took a shit.
It's sticky in Nashville.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's a chowder in the air.
Humidity, I can't.
I'll never forget that.
My ass hasn't dried.
No.
Can't find it?
Down.
You guys start the new season of Queer Eye?
Oh, not yet.
No.
Is that where it is?
First episode is at a frat house at the University of New Orleans.
Interesting.
I applied to be a cop there.
Yeah, good.
You applied to be a cop there?
I did.
New Orleans?
I made it to the second round.
I was supposed to fly down and take the class.
To the second round?
Yeah, I guess I got accepted.
They're like, you're in.
Come take the final whatever.
And I was supposed to go and interview and test.
And yeah, I was going to be a New Orleans cop.
Jesus.
Going through it.
I didn't know you were ever thinking about being a cop.
So you went to the police academy?
Yeah, I got divorced and I applied to be a cop in like five different cities.
And I was just like, wherever they'll take me is where I go next.
How was the training?
I mean, I already did cop training in the military.
Pretty much.
Did you do like the pepper spray?
Yeah.
I had to drive the cop car, learn to do the cop car and all that shit.
Cool.
I was like, I'll just do that.
But thankfully, that did work out.
Y'all ever got pepper sprayed?
Never.
Nope.
I did at my friend Andrew Hitzelberger's house once.
I think I'll die.
Hitzelberger got you?
Yeah.
Why do you have it?
We just bought it to pepper spray each other, see what I feel like.
We were going to pepper spray our friend Jack, but it was windy out, so we all got it.
Oh, you all got it.
Did you have to milk your eyeballs?
Yeah.
We tried to do tasers on lowering the bar, but they wouldn't let us.
Yeah, it's a liability.
Connor?
I might be able to get this in the second round, but I'm going first here.
Give me Charleston, South Carolina.
That's a great one.
We got three bachelor party cities in a row.
It's my favorite city.
You're thinking long term with Honolulu?
It's going to be underwater.
What was New York?
Shit.
Did you see it sinking right now?
Under the weight of the building.
You said 80 years.
I thought that was way too soon.
It was like sinking two inches a year or something.
Ah, damn.
Who's up?
Connor. Connor again. Shit. Oh, you're right. You, damn. Who's up? Connor.
Connor again.
Shit.
Oh, you're right.
You could have got him in the second round.
I guess so, yeah.
Yeah.
Is Austin on there?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'll go McConaughey territory.
Austin, Texas.
Austin, Texas.
I love Austin.
It's very fun.
Never been, but it seems awesome.
Pat and I had our first sober kiss on the top of Mount Bonnell.
It was a make-out point.
How many previous kisses were before there?
A lot.
A lot.
A lot.
We had a lot.
Do you think you had over 600 before your first sober kiss?
No, but 600.
100?
600 kisses. I was stacking kisses, but I never reached 600? No, but... 600. 100? 600 kisses.
I was stacking kisses, but I never reached 600.
No, not 600.
I'll blast 101 sitting.
Oh, my God.
I say, here I come.
600 kisses.
Sounds like a fucking mommy gun.
I need someone who does keep track.
Kiss 37 times.
You've got to bring princess kisses on the act. Oh, yeah, what a great game. We've got to bring Princess Kisses on the act.
Oh, yeah.
What a great game.
We play Princess Kisses every morning.
That's what you heard about yesterday when we told Clemmer to come over and you were like...
I didn't know what that was.
I'm sorry about that.
Still don't.
I've introduced board gaming into the office.
You've had two different board game setups.
Yeah, so I play Love Letter with Vibs and Colin.
And then I'll go over and I'll play Decrypto with Big T and Chuck.
They were into it this morning.
Yeah.
Do you go ever to the gamer hangout spots all around the city?
No, those guys are dorks.
Okay.
I only bring mine to work.
Is it my turn?
No.
No, it's TJ.
Okay.
Brandon, I know you're Buffalo's still on the board.
I need a legacy.
I need a power player.
You really do.
TJ, fight back.
L.A. is awesome.
Wait, how?
You like L.A.?
You like L.A.?
Yeah, I loved it.
What about it?
I don't know.
I've only been there once for a week.
Okay.
I don't know.
It was just awesome.
You got the Hollywood feel.
The weather was good.
I think, yeah, that weekend for the Super Bowl week made me.
It was a really good vibe that week.
Perfect weather.
People usually don't find it personable.
Did you like West Hollywood where we stayed?
I thought it was fine.
I don't know any different, though.
You know why he liked it?
He liked it because he got recognized over Mark Cuban.
Yeah.
That was in Miami.
Oh, that was Miami.
That was in Miami, yeah.
Okay, never mind.
That was a great clip, though.
Yeah.
That was 2020. Damn, that. Yeah. That was 2020.
Damn, that was that long ago?
Damn.
Before COVID.
Kind of during, right?
Right before.
Maybe your pick.
No, it can't be KP's pick.
It's Colin.
Colin's.
Oh, it's going reverse now.
Oh, shit.
I'm unprepared.
All right, let me see the board again.
A lot of cities left. Most cities left. I'm going to now. Shit, I'm unprepared. All right, let me see the board again. A lot of cities left.
Most cities left.
I'm going to go San Francisco.
I love San Francisco.
I'm not going to scoff at that.
I'm not going to scoff.
I'm going to scoff.
I would like to scoff.
I'm going to scoff because he's probably never been.
Why not scoff?
I have never been.
Like house music?
Nashville?
Yeah.
Just getting ripped in that park on the weekends.
And then taking, you and your buddies get an Uber or whatever out to wine country.
Same designer.
45-minute drive.
You can't talk too much shit on.
You have to acknowledge San Francisco as a power player.
It's super fun.
And you think if you draw a picture of the U.S., right?
Golden Gate Bridge is always in it.
Always.
Most famous bridge in the world.
I'm torn on this one.
I have two cities I'd like to go.
Is Asheville on this list?
I haven't seen it.
Asheville, North Carolina isn't great.
Yeah, it should be, but it's not.
I don't see it, so I'm not going to be able to take it.
I'm choosing between two cities.
Fuck. Give me... fuck give me come on now i mean miami florida in miami respect that's a big player too
and you got a place in miami nice all year yeah miami i feel like people are classy in miami i've
always been intimidated by it i feel like i would not fit in there like people are classy in Miami. I've always been intimidated by it. I feel like I would not fit in there.
People with a Jersey Shore vibe don't.
Is it good?
It's a smaller city, though.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to do something in the same vein.
I don't know about classy.
I think maybe luxury, but not classy.
TJ's Tampa on there?
I would like Tampa.
Tampa's got to be. I've heard good things. It's great. I loved it. Tampa's got to be.
I've heard good things.
It's great.
I loved it.
Tampa's a fantastic place.
It's great.
What was so great about it?
I liked it a lot more than Miami.
Just a little bit less in your face.
But still like all the beach stuff.
All the beach stuff.
The people were way more down to earth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've heard good things.
Tampa, St. Pete right there.
I watched a show about lesbian realtors there.
Lesbian realtors?
They were cutthroat.
They were very hot.
Sliced scissors, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Lesbian realtors.
What's it called?
Oh, I think it's called Lesbian Realtors.
No, it's not.
No, I don't think it is.
I need to support again.
Are you up?
Is Savannah on here?
I don't know if I saw it.
Isn't she Savannah?
Is it?
It's Savannah.
Oh, yeah.
Is that it?
I don't know.
It looks like it.
It looks like it's Savannah.
That's the canal probably.
I've had a couple of really good times in Savannah.
I loved it.
One time I took a little acid and got driven around in a convertible.
Whoa.
And underneath all the Spanish moss and really had a good time.
Tybee Island's right there and all the.
Yeah, that was great.
I think that's it, TJ.
And it was like.
It ends with like a TS.
Savannah.
That's an H, isn't it?
That's an H, yeah.
It's an H. Uh-oh uh-oh no v in this word
kyle can you tell based on the look i think it's sacramento oh no
there are two unmarked ones in the bottom here that's neither of those neither of those is
savannah shit hold on oh sorry i to take, this is a wild call.
Actually, I'm going to take Philadelphia.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine.
I love that city.
People shit on it, and I have, I guess,
Philly's great.
Philly's great.
It's down there towards the bottom.
But it is a really, really good time.
Once you learn the nooks and crannies of the neighborhoods.
I will say, we went for the World Series last year. I'm i'm a mets fan so i was just expecting to just go in hating
philly i love the city as a whole i wouldn't ever live there it's not my type of city but i love the
city it was a lot of fun to walk around in and then like people have such a good sense of humor
there like it's such a unique people that's just like the best bunch of roans and you yeah
a few smitty sprinkled in Kyle, you got it twice.
All right.
Well, let me.
Give me.
We're talking about loan and property and homes.
But just like happiest.
Where you'd be happiest?
Give me Boulder.
Oh, fuck.
That was mine.
That was my next one.
Then give me.
I can't quit college kids cold turkey.
And then give me Reno.
Reno.
Reno.
Reno over Vegas?
Yeah.
I want to like the weather And close to Tahoe
Wow
I've never been
Really good picks
I was gonna take Boulder
Yep
I think it's at the bottom
Right there
To the left
Yeah left
Is it back to Kate
Yep
Oh shit
Okay
Fuck
Oh god I'm sorry I'm holding up the works I gotta see What's that very top left Is it back to Kate? Yep. Oh, shit. Okay. Fuck.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
I'm holding up the works.
I got to see.
What's that very top left?
What is that?
Akron.
What's SLC underneath it?
No, I'm not.
Lake City.
Oh, no.
God, no.
Oh, Timmy.
I'm sorry, guys.
Sioux Falls.
Is it Tacoma?
Washington?
Oh, I loved Seattle.
Oddly enough, too. I fucking love Seattle. That's fine. That's fine. Well, then take Seattle, oddly enough, too.
I fucking love Seattle.
That's fine.
Well, then take Seattle.
In the summertime, a hoot.
An absolute hoot.
I actually had a good time there.
You had a good time there?
I had a good time there. What are you going to say?
Pick Seattle, right?
This guy was like, I'll take you on a bike tour. I was like, yeah. Next thing you know, I'm pushing good time. What are you going to say? Pick Seattle, right? This guy was like, I'll take you on a bike tour.
I was like, yeah.
Next thing you know, I'm pushing my flight.
Stay in for a while.
What do you mean he took you on a bike tour?
I met him at a bar.
He's like, I have an extra bike.
Like a bicycle?
Yeah, I was like, yeah.
He brought an extra bicycle to the bar.
No, but he told me he had one.
It was like, you know.
He took a bicycle to the bar?
That's a man with a DUI.
Give me an example.
Give me a situation or a person
who you rejected.
Someone I rejected.
Yeah.
What are they?
What were they like?
This was a long time ago.
This was newly single.
Kate was just having a time.
Yeah, yeah.
That's fine.
No shame in it.
But Seattle was really fun.
Is it my pick?
Yep.
This might be a...
So I have my Tampa home.
I have my New York home.
Now give me my Long Beach home.
Yeah.
It's not LA. I've never been been i don't know much about it either long beach is real cool it's where my grandparents met
paulie wilson cabrillo all right i i i want to save one city for the last round thinking I'll get it, but I'm scared of it. Take it.
I am.
And down, I got to be in the south, so I have to have Atlanta.
Atlanta?
I love Atlanta.
Atlanta's great.
Atlanta, it's an air bash pick.
Atlanta's great. Hey, listen, I'm obsessed with Atlanta.
I loved it.
Atlanta's great.
When we went for Super Bowl week.
The culture.
It was fantastic.
I did that loop that goes around the city that you can bicycle around, that goes around the whole city.
Went to the bar with the oldest strippers, the old lady stripper bar.
Had a great time everywhere I went.
That's a ridiculous thing to do in Atlanta.
Are you serious?
The bike loop?
I wasn't even talking about the old strippers.
Oh, the bike loop's covered in breweries and bars and goes through all the different neighborhoods.
You just go to cities to bike and get drunk?
Yes, I used to.
Atlanta's my pick.
Yeah, Atlanta's awesome.
Love Atlanta.
I don't love that pick.
Except for the traffic.
That traffic did suck.
I do care.
Colin?
All right.
I don't know if it's Maine or Oregon, but either one is fine with me.
I'm going to go with Portland.
I'm guessing it's Oregon.
No, I know, but I would also be happy in Portland, Maine.
Would you?
Yeah, I love it.
That would be almost the better pick.
Yeah, absolutely.
Portland is a beautiful place.
Portland, Maine?
Yeah.
That's your taking.
I've never been.
I don't know.
I think it's Oregon, but I'm just going to take Portland.
Are you in Antifa?
Oh, my God.
You're in Antifa.
You lefty piece of shit.
Sanford, Portland.
I have a recency bias pick.
I don't know if it's actually.
Yeah, it's a good pick.
It's a great pick.
I was going to take it, too.
Yeah. Yeah, Scot to take it too. Scott Stale.
Yeah, Scott Stale's cool.
That's a great pick. I'm excited to go back next year.
What's next year?
Final Four.
Wow.
Oh, wait. For work. I thought you meant
Rutgers.
We will not be there decisively.
I feel like desert people, too.
You're like,
what can you do in the desert?
But they find really cool,
interesting shit to do
out in the boonies.
Yeah, it's like really...
Who do we have?
It's Honor.
I got it.
These are going to be
the real zany picks.
There's still some
good heavy hitters out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to go with
a heavy hitter right now.
Heavy hitter?
I took a field trip here, and I was here for a day before going back to South Carolina.
I'm going to go Boston.
Oh, Boston.
Shout out to Stoolies.
Oh, fuck.
How did Boston?
There's still some big ones out there.
Yeah.
Up in the center to the right.
There you go.
It's your last pick now.
Are we only doing four?
Yep.
Okay.
Might be a little bit of a reach, but I see it on the board.
It's the last pick.
I'm going to go Newark, New Jersey.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm going to go.
Got our goose.
I'll do Indianapolis.
I really liked Indianapolis when I was there.
Very clean, walkable city.
Yeah, it feels small.
I'm also out of an escape room.
I did an escape room where you found a person's body,
but it was an actual guy. His job was to lay on the ground.
He searched his pockets, took off his jumper.
Yeah, I really liked
Indianapolis when I was there.
Are these things moving? Yeah, they're moving, right?
Yeah, they're popping up.
It's really fun to scooter and bike around it, too.
Well, obviously.
When you move them around, like one city that I wanted had moved spots, and I thought it was gone.
They resort.
This is making me realize that I haven't traveled nearly as much as I thought I had.
Still some good towns out there.
I haven't been to one of my cities that I picked.
Do you have?
Honolulu, Boulder, and Reno.
Have you been to any of them?
No.
I like Madison.
It's still up there.
My dad wants me to take Worcester, Massachusetts.
Yuck.
You've got to do it for him.
I will not be doing that.
Is your dad from there?
No, he's from Westboro, not the Baptist Church of Massachusetts town.
Spelled different.
I'll take Vegas.
Fuck!
Oh, Vegas is good.
You got to respect that.
You got to respect the Vegas pick.
Oh, this isn't going good.
Hooper?
I'm stuck right now.
Yeah, this is tough.
You still got St. Louis up there, Cincinnati, Orlando, some awesome cities.
Anchorage?
Orlando's my least favorite.
Go up one more time again, Teej.
Anchorage as a city, I would say no.
For like where it is?
Everything around it, like the scenery, yes.
I guess I'm going to go.
It was cool.
It was cool.
I don't love it, but I'm going to go Fort Lauderdale.
Yep, that's a good pick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
My draft fell to me then because I want Denver.
Fuck, man.
Denver is great.
I'm getting destroyed. I have all my picks. I didn't Fuck, man. Denver is great. I'm getting destroyed.
All my picks.
I didn't even see Denver.
Denver is fantastic.
The last three picks, I had three ready and they're gone.
Is it me?
Yep.
Last pick.
It's almost too popular though now.
Maybe, but I've been there twice and loved it both times.
Scroll slowly.
Cities are awesome.
Yeah, cities are great.
I love them.
Cities are great. I don't even great. I love them. Cities are great.
I don't even go when I just love thinking about them.
I always get people online, whenever I mention a city, people are like, oh, the city sucks.
Everybody likes to say it.
Everybody.
And I'm like, have you ever gone?
Except for San Diego.
That's the only one.
Yeah.
In the South, when you say, I'm going to Atlanta, people think you're going to the gates of hell.
Yeah.
They act like that.
Have you ever been to a city?
They're fucking awesome.
Have you ever been to Denver, KB?
No.
Me too.
I've always wanted to go to Detroit.
I heard in the summertime it's a cool boat and culture.
We went to Detroit.
Detroit's a lot better than people say.
It wasn't bad.
It's a lot better than people say.
I'll go ahead and take Columbus.
Dude, Columbus is very fun.
Yeah, Columbus is super underrated. Waited in line to get into a bookstore in Columbus. Dude, Columbus is very fun. Yeah, Columbus is super underrated.
Waited in line to get into a bookstore in Columbus.
The one I sent you to?
The Goodway?
A 45-minute line to get into.
Book Loft?
Yeah.
Book Loft rocks.
Their Old Town and the burgers and all that shit.
That bookstore had 80 rooms in it.
Yeah, it's great.
Red, White, and Boom on the River at Fourth of July.
I went to that once and had, yeah.
Good time.
That's a lot of sex.
No,
I didn't have it.
Only got finger blasted.
By the river?
No.
Oh God,
no.
You had the guy standing on Brandon,
Brandon's like workout machine.
The trashiest thing you could do is like fuck on the beach by a river.
Yeah. Yes, absolutely.
Specifically near a bridge.
If you can fuck and hear a train, you should be fucking there.
All right, it's your pick, Kate.
That made me feel good about myself.
I think I'm going to go with Richmond.
Yeah, good pick.
Richmond, Virginia.
I haven't been there, but I heard good things too. cool people really cool little neighborhoods i have been there uh i've
really enjoyed my time there fun art coach carter good donuts really good donuts in richmond yeah
and i love the southern like when you're hung over biscuits and jam with some butter like butter
and the jam is. I know the elderly
like it. I love jam.
I love a good jam.
On a sandwich.
Jam on a sandwich? On a savory
sandwich. Oh yeah. A turkey sandwich?
Or a burger. We've talked about this.
I mean jam and chips over a tomato.
Peanut butter on a burger smacks.
Huh. What's the difference in jam and
jelly? There's the joke.
Can't jelly my dick up your ass, is what they say.
Then there's preserves in the mix.
Yeah, there's all those things.
And they're all the same thing.
I don't think so.
All right.
Is that it?
I haven't picked yet, have you?
Did you pick?
Richmond.
Oh, what's Kyle then?
All right.
Out of a crazy pick.
We're going to be somewhere you've been.
I want something a little bit more quaint and a little bit more friendly.
I'm going Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Wow.
We've been there.
No.
We haven't?
We haven't.
I don't even know where that is.
Is that near the upper?
Is that in the UP?
That's where we were.
It's not in the UP.
I think it's a little more in the UP.
It's a little more south.
Okay.
It's still in there. Where did we... It's a little more south. Okay.
It's still in there.
Where did we drive? We weren't in Grand Rapids.
We were in Marquette?
Yeah, that was way up there.
I'm trying to think where exactly we stayed.
Y'all went to the UP, right?
Yeah.
I'm excited for Chicago because that's the one part of the country that I really haven't...
I've never done the Upper Peninsula and all those states, like the mid-northwest or whatever you call it.
I'm going to road trip.
Never done that.
I'm bothered.
That's not how you spell Honolulu, right?
That's wrong.
That's not right.
I knew Richmond was wrong.
It was a bunch of people wrong.
All right.
Charlotte got left out.
I think Charlotte's a great town, too.
I hate my list.
I don't like Charlotte.
You don't like Charlotte?
I don't know anything about it.
I don't like Charlotte.
Charlotte's kind of a dead downtown.
You've got to go to the little side spots.
Is it Angelica's mom's name in Rugrats?
Yes.
I think so.
Yeah, I think so.
I liked her.
I didn't like her.
I liked her a lot.
How about Minneapolis and St. Paul?
Those were both.
So I saw a really cool thread of the sports stadiums or fields with the best backdrops.
Yeah.
Upstate.
People said PNC.
People said BYU's baseball was sick because the Rocky Mountains are right there.
The Charlotte minor league team had a really cool backdrop.
It's right in the city.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Charlotte's NFL stadium is actually pretty close to downtown, too.
Have you followed college baseball at all this year?
No, no.
I think he's pretty good.
They just need to win one more to win the Big 12.
They're ranked number six.
They lost to Texas.
Oh, really?
Who is, like, who?
Are there stars?
Are there superstars in college baseball?
Not really.
I don't think so.
I can't really think of one right now that transcends college baseball.
LSU was good, but then they've fallen off.
I don't know. Yeah. so let's see the full list again
see who won yeah let's see kyle you always seem to lose your strategy during these drafts
i didn't though honolulu very happy with older reno and grand rapids reno's pretty wild. It's not a winner, but it's my personal pick.
Reno's depressing.
Yeah, it is.
It's more of the area.
It's a loser.
I lost.
Yeah, I think I won.
Well, I'll be unbiased.
I got a little mix of the whole country.
You didn't do bad.
I did good.
Chicago, Miami, Atlanta, Denver?
Brandon may have won.
It's a big thing. Yeah.
I don't know enough about Richmond.
TJ's sneaking in there a little bit.
That one's a strong.
Richmond, Brandon, there's a store in Richmond that you would fucking love.
What is it?
It's just like old, it's like 90s video games and wrestling figures.
And it's like a really big store.
I would, yes. I would like that. Your store? Yeah. It's like a really big store. I would, yes.
I would like that.
Your store?
Yeah.
It's like a nerd store for 90s, early 2000s stuff.
I'm not really a nerdy.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
You are a nerdy, dude.
Mm-hmm.
The trivia is nerdy.
Look at your shirt.
You're obsessed with men.
Lists.
It's costumes.
I'm not.
Yeah.
Wrestling is nerdy.
Wrestling is watching a play. Wrestling is nerdy. Wrestling is watching a play.
Wrestling is nerdy.
It's very nerdy.
Video games are nerdy.
All right.
I'm nerdy.
Yes.
Fine.
Yeah.
Then you buy a bunch of graphic T-shirts and socks.
You're obsessed with pens and books.
Yeah, dude.
Pens and books.
That's tough to argue.
No, y'all got me. You can't dunk anymore. Okay. If you could, that's tough to argue.
No, y'all got me.
You can't dunk anymore.
Okay.
If you could dunk, we would say no.
Yeah.
You wear cool shoes, though.
I'll give you that.
And you get your hair cut nicely. I dropped my phone on my toe today.
My bare toe.
And it's some of the worst pain I've had in a long time.
That's how I lost my pinky toenail.
Shocking how much a phone dropping unfettered onto your foot hurts.
If it hits you in the right spot, you're a dead man.
It hit me right where the nail and the toe meet.
You ever do it when you try to save stuff too,
and you're like, oh, I should not have done that, and just drops it.
It hurt.
I mean, it really hurt bad.
It almost changed my whole morning.
I can't move.
I don't deal with pain as well as I used to.
I'm sorry.
It used to be good.
I don't know what happened.
I've gotten soft.
I wonder what changed.
How often do you feel real pain?
Huh.
When I get a tattoo, I guess.
Out of the emotional variety, yeah.
Biting your tongue sucks because you never just do it once.
No.
Yeah.
The cheek is the same thing.
Biting your tongue is that pain that makes you angry.
You get mad.
Very mad.
Stubbing the toe pain.
Don't talk to me for a second.
DJ, you want to spin the real wheel?
The real.
You want to spin the wheel?
Right after you do the last step.
Right after you do the last step.
I sure will.
You know what it is.
Connor, do you want to commentate?
I can do that, yeah.
Whatever video you guys want.
Don't overthink your Father's Day gift.
It's time to go to the Barstool store.
You got Yak merch, Anus merch, Lowering the Bar merch.
Discontinued. Okay, excuse me. The whole show or just the merch? No, anus merch, lowering the bar merch. Discontinued.
Okay, excuse me.
The whole show or just the merch?
No, just the merch.
Okay, good, good.
Remember, your dad is richer than you.
Don't try to buy him something expensive.
He either already has it or you're going to make yourself look financially irresponsible and stupid.
What a crazy paragraph this is.
If you buy him a nice gift,'s gonna you're gonna make yourself look
financially irresponsible and stupid that's crazy if you buy him a nice gift yeah that's what it
says oh the barstool sports store is full of awesome stuff that will make your dad feel young
and cool the stuff we have is cost effective and will make your dad feel like he's still one of
the guys and gets it this is all he really wants and something he can't buy on his own.
Here are some of our favorites from the store.
Like I said, anus merch gets you some yak merch.
We have a ton of yak merch.
I got my dad a kiss coin.
Really?
Yeah.
Didn't he already have one?
My dad has one.
What?
He was quick with it.
What numbers he got?
I have to ask.
He has one of the original runs, right?
I think so.
We got dad rope hats, polos, quarter zips, the best tasting coffee,
and Stella Blue Coffee.
So much more.
Shop now at store.barstoolsports.com.
There's your ad, so spend the real.
Have a Zaha update, too.
Have a Zaha update?
I don't think.
It wasn't malicious, I don't think.
We have no idea.
Except.
In my opinion, it probably wasn't malicious.
Zod just needs to tweet the picture.
He always, like, from bed, just his hand on his forehead.
Yeah, that.
And that's what he just needs to tweet.
I respect this.
He's not distraught.
Like, oh, woe is me.
Yeah.
What percentage of Zod's tweets do you think destroy him mentally afterwards?
Feels like he's at, like, 80% deleting.
80% just moving on from. A lot of anguish.
You just don't tweet, you don't Instagram.
Sounds like fun though.
Yeah, it is fun. Sounds like he had a blast.
He had a great ass time. I think he was
actually very angry. No, but being mad is fun.
I've said this before.
It's closer to happiness than
depression. Yeah.
You have so much energy and motivation.
When you're mad, it's just like you're more social.
You're just like, listen to this.
Why does that make so much sense?
Anger is closer to happiness than depression.
Yeah.
Depression is just a lack of, yeah.
Anger is a feeling.
The happiest runs of my life is when I would just flip out.
Be angry.
Throw tantrums.
When I'm on the road
and there's a crazy driver
at that feeling of road rage for a second,
afterwards I'm like,
man, I felt really alive.
It does get you going.
I felt really alive for a second there.
I always reminisce on the anger.
I'm like, I was really mad, huh?
Yeah, you were.
You do a systems check. Yeah. Yeah, you really were. I was mad, wasn't I? Yeah, you were. You do a system check.
Yeah.
Yeah, you really were.
I was mad, wasn't I, yesterday?
I still got it in you.
Just to know that you still got it.
Because the second you stop being mad at something,
the second you got to start worrying.
Yeah, but I feel like the older you get,
the madder you get.
Yeah.
You get good at it.
Unless you get apathy.
I don't care.
That's what I'm afraid of.
I'd rather be mad than that.
What else we got? We got the wheel.
Spin that bitch.
Alright.
Alright.
Anyone got big plans
for the weekend?
I'm hosting my buddy Joe He's a big slob
Love it
He's staying at Margaritaville
Oh he's staying there?
That means you get to hang out at Margaritaville
Are you going to the pool?
Of course
What do you got?
If anybody wants to go to the zoo
Probably be at the zoo
Which zoo? The Turtleback If anybody wants to go to the zoo, probably be at the zoo.
Which zoo?
The Turtleback.
Buddy Joe's a big penis.
Got it stuck in a shot ski.
Who is this?
Joe, my buddy Nate's brother, older brother.
Penis stuck in a shot ski.
How did they get it out?
I don't know. I don't know.
Growing up in Wheeling,
we knew who had the big dicks.
Joe's is crazy.
So he would have parties at his house and invite his younger brother in and turn me.
And he would put his dick in the shot ski and say, hey, let's do shots.
And I'd look.
But then I got stuck.
That was a very funny joke.
Yeah.
Penis in the shot ski is very, very funny.
Giant dicks and tiny dicks get the same amount of laughs.
How'd they get it out?
I don't know. I would assume Vaseline they get it out? I don't know.
I would assume Vaseline, right?
Probably.
I don't know.
I got my finger stuck in my Cooperstown Dreams Park ring when I was 24.
I got my finger stuck in a tag of a Ziggy doll and the loop,
and I had to go to Miss Maltese.
What is that?
Remember Ziggy?
Vaguely, the cartoon?
Yeah, I had a beanie. The thing that would look up over things? Can we pull up Ziggy? Vaguely, the cartoon? Yeah, I had a beanie
thing that would look up over things.
Can we pull up Ziggy? I think I had
a Ziggy doll that I would do at nap time.
I got my finger stuck in a Ziggy.
Miss Maltese had to cut it off.
Miss Maltese?
He was our art teacher.
No, that was Miss McGlumpy.
How do you get your penis stuck in a...
I get my dick stuck in him?
Are penises like cats?
Where they're like no bones?
I've seen this guy.
Jelly?
I never really thought
I never fucked with him too hard.
There's a David Bowie in there.
Yeah.
Ziggy Stardust.
Oh, yeah.
Ziggy was a crazy motherfucker.
Loved him.
Brandon, what was your favorite toy growing up?
He-Man.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He-Man, Masters of the Universe.
Castle of Greyskull.
You had the castle?
Mm-hmm.
Damn.
Yeah.
That was probably it.
My favorite toy was a castle as well, but it was like the Silver Knights versus the Black Knights or the Gold Knights, I believe.
Yeah.
Good one.
You could drop a boulder on people.
Yeah.
Great toy.
Great toy. good one you could drop a boulder on people a great toy great toy kyle yours was probably uh uh yeah oh i remember that oh yeah that was it another good one was the teenage mutant ninja
turtles house that had like there was a goo you could pour down the sewer and the i do remember
my neighbors had that and it had like an elevator into the down the sewer. I do remember a goo. My neighbors had that.
It had an elevator into the-
I remember the van.
I don't remember the house.
There was a-
Yeah, it was-
Do you remember the boys' companion to the Easy-Bake Oven where you made bugs?
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
Creepy crawlers.
Oh, yeah.
That's what it was.
Yeah.
We couldn't make food, too.
Oh, that was gay.
That was gay.
It was. We were was gay. It was.
We were told that.
It's straighter for boys to make bugs.
The Easy Bake Oven just comes in all colors.
I think they said it was gay in the commercial.
For girls only, it's gay.
For girls only, otherwise you're gay.
99. for girls only otherwise you're gay alright y'all ready to get out of here?
yeah we can wrap it up
what's up TJ?
go ahead
they're already going at it
they're close to it now. They're far now. They're very close to it kind of
all it takes
One bite
That's a big trying to bite
Oh
Get the bite.
Oh, right through the head.
Yellow card?
Excessive force.
Who's going to take a bite?
That's only one rule.
We got to try this.
Face broker fall.
We might need to do this.
They're going to have to reset these fighters.
Facing the threat of expulsion.
Oh, that was malicious.
I don't think.
I'm checking it. She landed.
Oh, the tomato. On the tomato, too. malicious. I don't think. I'm checking it.
Oh, the tomato.
On the tomato, too.
I guess that's probably better than just the... Thank God that tomato was there.
More, please.
Yeah.
Please, can I have another?
Whatever that was.
That was a big sandwich to have to take a bite out of.
The first time this has ever been asked on the Yak,
but are we going to be able to hang sandwiches from the ceiling?
Yes.
We hung tanks, so I think we can hang sandwiches.
Yeah, we'll be able to hang some sandwiches.
You never did the donut dangle at birthday parties?
Never did donut dangle.
We just need to, when the rest of the crew comes back,
just have sandwiches hanging on Monday.
Yeah.
Just go for it.
Don't even explain it to them.
Maybe it's not a hit your race per se, but it's all our arms are tight
and whoever finishes their sandwich first.
Whole thing?
Whole thing.
Once it gets to spinning, though.
I know that's the tough part.
Interesting.
All right.
Y'all have a good weekend, and we'll be back Monday.
That's the act.
That's it.
That's the act. That's it. That's the act.
That's the act. Have a good weekend.
Bye.