The Yak - Riggs Got A Picture With Tiger Woods (Cardboard Cut Out) | The Yak 12-8-21
Episode Date: December 9, 2021HOT MICYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo.
Brandon not here?
He's out.
He's going to the AEW event.
Oh, fancy boy.
I know.
Fancy, fancy boy.
You didn't hear him saying all week he's got nine interviews today?
Oh, nine interviews. He did it last night at like 2 a.m.
Nine interviews.
Oh, he did it at 2 a.m.?
He can't stop talking about how many interviews he has.
For a show that's canceled.
I talked to him yesterday after he finished the first half of the Brandon Walker football show with Brandon Walker.
He's like, I've been talking since noon.
This job's like, it's killing me.
I'm like, so have most people in any job.
Outside of Buddhist monks and Stoics like KB.
KB, why don't you get your shit under control, bro?
My mic won't stay put.
Your guys are running away from you.
Got that J-Fox.
Do you think Brandon saying that he was canceling wrestling was like a publicity stunt?
I don't know.
It seems like he's really just started working on it even more since he said that he was canceling it.
Yeah, I think it was strategic.
Yeah.
Worked.
On who?
Us.
What did I miss?
Sorry, I was out Monday and Tuesday.
Oh, yeah, good to have you back.
What did I miss besides you guys trying to get me fired?
We hyped up the Arizona Bowl.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, yeah.
A little deep dive into the culture.
We used awareness for both teams and their structure.
You need to be here even if you don't want to be on the show just to kind of watch over.
It's a bad feeling to just get a text being like, hey, God.
It wasn't that big of a deal.
No, I don't think it was that big of a deal, but it was just getting that text being like,
oh, we might have had a hot mic situation on Monday.
Oh, you're talking about that.
I thought you were talking about the other.
Yeah, yeah.
No, the other one's not a big deal.
What was the other one?
We're not going to bring it up because then people are going to talk about it again.
I didn't even know something else happened.
Yeah, you slept in this morning.
Now you fucking ruined it, Sass.
What?
Whatever, you ruined it.
Now I can't.
Now people are going to be like...
Sass ruins everything.
Conjecture about other things and this and that.
But can we chalk this up to life experience for Sass?
Yeah.
This is just another example of how Sass has no life experience.
Yeah, but it's a terrible feeling to be like,
Hot Mike, and I'm sitting there, I'm like, oh, God.
Well, it's scary from you guys.
Oh, not from me. No, from mostly Nick, God. Well, it's scary from you guys. Oh, not for me.
No, from mostly Nick and KP.
Yeah, that's the scariest.
Nick and KP really wasn't Nick and KP at all.
It was more me and Owen.
Bro, you could have got away with it, bro.
We're throwing people under the bus right now.
I don't want to throw Owen under the bus.
It was him?
It was Owen.
I asked a question.
You can't get mad at people for asking innocent questions.
Bozo.
He got Bozo.
Oh, he got Bozo.
Oh, fuck.
All right, TJ's gotten too powerful.
He could Bozo any of us.
Bozo, Nick now.
Yeah, wasn't it TJ?
Wasn't it your fault, TJ?
Nick's a Bozo for calling you out, TJ.
Bozo his ass.
Oh, fuck, don't do it.
Don't do it, TJ. Do it, do it, do it. Slap it on him, TJ. Don't do it audio on this show. Nick's a bozo for calling you out, TJ. Bozo his ass. Don't do it. Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Slap it all on him, TJ.
Don't do it, TJ.
Sitting next to a bozo is worse than...
Oh, no.
I'm quick enough, bozo.
I'm a slow bozo.
There you are.
Chunky-headed bozo.
That looks like a cake that you would have to make in one of those cake books.
Did anyone have one of those cake books?
Never had a cake book.
A cake book?
Never had a cake book?
What's up, Mincy?
Mincy, grab a seat, brother.
Might as well sit down.
Might as well.
Type shit.
Might as well sit down.
Yeah, do a quick four with us, bro.
Do a quick four.
Clean four.
Yeah, do a clean four.
A clean four.
110.
109. 109. No clean 4. 110. 109.
109.
No, 108.
No, 109.
109 on the dot.
Don't say anything.
Hold up.
109?
104.
Clean 4 up there.
Clean 109 sharp.
Okay.
This is a drill we used to do in my communications class.
You got that many minutes, persuade us on something.
I'll start for Mincy.
Shout out Mincy. Just at like 1 in the the morning replying to one of Coley's tweets
with a blog, and Mincy's like, great blog.
It's awesome to watch and learn how it's done.
Yeah, it was good.
From the master.
Yeah, from the master.
From the master.
Yeah, I see.
Coley came in and just eviscerated all of Bill's mafia.
Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, it was good. I just like your positivity.
It's a rare thing at Barstool.
Now, what's something you think you could work on?
A little bit of constructive criticism for yourself.
I need to get a little more vicious and edgy.
Oh, no.
No, I think you need to stay yourself.
You think I need to stay myself?
Yes.
Well, you can't force that kind of stuff.
Right.
You got to let stuff happen.
No, no, no.
You can force it. Yes. Well, you can't force that kind of stuff, right? You got to let stuff happen. No, no, no.
You're in a group.
You're in a grouping of guys here that are like they have job for life because they specifically don't.
I don't want to.
You know, I love you.
Just say whatever.
There are certain guys that don't fully get it.
You're one of them.
That's fine.
Yeah, no, I know.
That's why I did it.
Stephen Che is another one.
Yeah, I'm like on my own planet a little bit. Yeah, Rico, Stephen Che, you, Frank sometimes.
It's great.
That is why this company works.
I'm happy to be in the company.
So your uniqueness, you need to keep it.
Don't become something that you're not.
Like being a vicious, mean, mincey.
You want to be vicious?
I'm terrible at it.
I'm just driving.
You want to be a little vicious?
A little touch more.
Your positivity and happiness is like why you are you and why it's fun to have you around.
Is it because Brandon Walker was vicious?
Is that why?
What's up, cunts?
I appreciate that, Big Ed.
I will say, I think my energy is just so different.
Correct.
That's what it should be.
No, and it's nice because I just come in here and be myself every day.
I don't really have to force it.
Like you tweeting when our job is to talk about gambling, give picks,
and you're like, I think the line makers have this one correct.
Credit to them.
That's funny in its own right.
Unintentional comedy. Right, them. That's funny in its own right. Unintentional comedy.
Right, exactly.
That's very funny.
That's a very funny thing in its own right.
There's a lot of things that you do that make me chuckle, Mintz.
Yeah.
You said Ryan Fitzpatrick is either red hot or inconsistent.
Inconsistent can never be the second of two things.
That's not how that works.
Because that's just inconsistent.
He's just plain old
inconsistent.
Dude, but what has you
thinking you've got to
be more vicious?
There has to be something
that's leading you
to think that.
I mean, I just want
to stay at, you know,
stay at you.
Everybody knows I'm
like a nice person.
I don't feel like,
I want people to be able
to just be mean as hell
to me and not feel like,
oh, I can't be mean
to Ben Metz.
But who's being mean
to you besides Brandon?
Why not? It was weird. I'll say this. It was interesting. His, oh, I can't be mean to Ben Mitz. But who's being mean to you besides Brandon?
I'll say this. It was interesting. His apology thing, I thought that was unnecessary.
He didn't mean it.
What do you think caused him to do that?
Because every now and then
Brandon in the back
of his head is like, maybe if I'm a nice
person, people will like me.
But he got to where he was.
But he can't be a nice person for more than like an hour.
Yeah, but I didn't understand.
He's deeply evil.
I knew when I grabbed that.
He's evil.
I knew when I grabbed that cowbell and rang in his face what was coming.
Right.
But there's a need to be.
Brandon's another guy who's like, just be yourself, which is evil.
Yeah.
He is an evil person.
Well, Missy, 35 seconds on the clock.
Anything you want to say to kind of just acquit yourself or a message you want to get out there, holiday season or something Mincy, 35 seconds on the clock. Anything you want to say to kind of just acquit yourself
or a message you want to get out there, holiday season or something like that.
30 seconds on the clock.
Man, I just hope everybody has a safe and happy holiday season.
I'm feeling so much.
There it is.
Hey, Mincy, back again.
Yeah, but, I mean, it's a great time of year.
Lots to be thankful for and grateful for in life.
Mincy, too far, man.
Give us an unpopular opinion.
Oh.
Uh-oh. 13 seconds. An unpopular opinion? Yeah. Oh, man. Give us an unpopular opinion. Oh. Uh-oh.
13 seconds.
An unpopular opinion?
Yeah.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
Could be about Christmas.
Oh, jeez.
The Bills are still alive even after Monday night,
which everybody thinks they're dead.
That's unpopular.
So your unpopular opinion is actually very nice.
And a fact.
Oh, there he is.
That's your time, brother.
Fact, fact.
Overtime.
Quick fact.
A little bonus pay. Watch the dozen. Yak. That's going to be time. That's your time, brother. Fact, fact. Overtime. Quick fact. Little bonus pay.
Watch the dozen.
Yak.
That's going to be fun.
That's a fact, brother.
That is a fact.
I feel that.
That's a fact.
More rigorous driver's license tests.
That would be my persuasive argument.
Oh, yeah.
For the elderly, you retest at 65.
Yeah, every 10 years.
More rigorous.
First off, it's very easy to get one.
Yeah, of course.
I love this.
It's too easy to get one. Yeah, of course. I love this.
It's too easy to get one.
At age 16, it's way too easy.
Yeah, but I think the older...
And then it should be every, like, five years.
But I think the problem is, like, I remember, like, my grandfather, when he lost his license, he just died.
Yeah, it was keeping him alive.
Not anyone else on the road, but him.
Yeah, no, but, well, he also was driving, like, 10 miles an hour.
Like, he wasn't going to kill anyone.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Right, he just drives slowly through fucking.
What do you mean when he lost it?
Well, he got it to, it was, he didn't pass the test.
I thought he, like, fell off a cliff and he fell off afterwards.
What age do you have to retake it at?
I don't know.
You don't.
I think it's just whenever your license expires.
Oh, okay.
But sometimes if you get points, they make you take a little test or they'll do some sneaky things
to make you re-earn your...
But I don't think it's an age thing, though.
Ever, right?
Just imagine being an old person
and not being able to drive.
It's over.
It's over.
It's over.
What is the slowest you think a car
could be going to take you out?
Kill you?
Exit you, yeah.
To exit you?
Well, if it runs over
you. Yeah, like one mile per hour.
Picture yourself going across
the street.
I mean, if it goes over you. 200 miles per hour.
It's just eviscerate you. Well, like
five miles an hour, you're just gonna
fall down on the hood.
Unless you go under the wheels. Yeah, what if you get run over?
We're picturing a regular car.
We're all, for the most part, outside of KB, normal sized guys. What the wheels? Yeah, what if you get run over? We're picturing a regular car. We're all, for the most
part, outside of KB, normal-sized guys.
So, every time. What the fuck
was every time?
What's the most arbitrary
scenario?
Your hips are lower, so you might fall under the wheel.
That's true. He's right. Everything he says is a fact.
Alright, so
let's just say not getting run over,
like not going underneath the car.
I think you could survive 20.
Oh, yeah.
25.
I think 25 would sneak up on you.
It wouldn't kill you, though.
It would break your leg.
It could kill you.
I don't think so.
I think if you jump on the hood, you could survive anything.
Aren't you supposed to roll over it?
You're supposed to go into the car Aren't you supposed to roll over it?
You're supposed to go into the car.
You're supposed to roll over it and just kind of go limp, right?
Yeah, that's a good...
Let it throw you around.
I like when they give tips like that.
If you ever get hit by a car, remember to go limp.
You're like, I'm going to be thinking about that.
Yeah.
We also might have shown some bad stuff on a plane crash.
Oh, yeah.
We showed 200 people die.
That was accidental.
Wow.
10 miles an hour, there's that big of a difference.
Oh, so I was...
You were pretty right.
Yeah.
40 miles an hour.
And I was wrong.
And I'm willing to admit that.
Whoa.
That's big of you.
Thank you.
We could hit you with a car if you want to just...
I'm good.
Okay.
I like that.
You guys showed people dying?
Well, it wasn't graphic.
It was a mistake that you could have made, believe it or not.
I mean, it was over five, so technically it was more of a statistic.
We were watching land crashes, but not crashes.
They were landings.
Safe landings.
Safe landings.
And then we were like, let's compare it to water because
Zah said that water was safer
and then the first water when we pulled up
was not safer.
Zah, you were wrong.
I was too. Zah went hand up.
He said, you know what?
I was wrong on that one. He is a responsible guy.
Water becomes cement, right?
At a certain distance. Like over 70
miles an hour or something.
Sass, I like your sweater.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah.
Nice little twist.
Who died?
No one.
I've had this sweater since last year.
Your grandpa died then?
Is it your grandpa's sweater?
It's a good sweater.
How would you classify that color?
Mustard.
Mustard.
No.
Dijon.
Dijon.
Stone ground.
Like a stone ground.
Stone ground-ish. It's a nice sweater. Like babyon. Stone ground. Like a stone ground. Stone ground-ish.
It's a nice sweater.
Like baby poop.
Yeah, that is a baby poop sweater.
That's a baby poop sweater.
That's funny.
Oh, that just destroyed him inside.
That's funny.
That's a good joke, guys.
Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry.
That's a good observation, Dan. It, fuck. I'm sorry. Astute observation, Dan.
It could be like, you know, Gerber's baby food.
But baby's digestive systems are so pure that it just comes out the exact same way.
What were you doing?
Actually, baby poop is like jet black.
Really?
Yeah.
Like an oil skid?
Very little baby.
Did you say baby poop?
Or Sass' hat.
So you actually have the baby and toddler poop collection between your hat and your sweater.
Yeah.
I like it.
I think your chaise turds are just perfect gray cubes.
Oh, yeah.
They stack on each other in the toilet.
Yeah.
Why should I do this?
Yours?
Is gray perfect?
No.
I would say no.
The cubes are perfect.
The cubes are perfect.
The gray is the color.
I told a story on PMT yesterday.
I would love to hear your guys' takes.
So we went to the game on Monday night, and we were sitting in a suite.
And the suites in Buffalo, there's a bathroom outside the suite that both suites share.
So it's like a bathroom for, I don't know, 25 people.
I went to take a shit, and it did not...
The first flush was good.
The second flush...
You know when a toilet just doesn't have...
It doesn't rebound off a flush.
You know what I mean?
It needs a five-minute spin.
So this toilet did not rebound off the flush.
And there was no plunger.
And there's...
You know, I was in the bathroom for 10 minutes. Everyone would know there was no plunger. And there's, you know,
I was in the bathroom for 10 minutes.
Everyone would know it was me.
It was a single stall? Single bathroom. Single bathroom all alone?
That's the beauty of having a communal bathroom.
You can just pawn that off on the next person.
Right, right.
But it is, that toilet went to failure.
Yes. It really pushed itself.
And then it couldn't do the next rep.
But the first one went halfway down or what?
No, fully down.
First flush was good.
Also, I always assume stadiums and airports, like, they should have the pressure to take.
The strongest.
Yeah.
I don't worry about it.
I worry about it when I go to, like, a hotel or an Airbnb.
But this is like, come on, we're in a stadium.
A union built this.
Yeah.
A group of men with industrial tools built this.
It's the highest order of toilet that you can imagine.
Right.
So I took the trash bag out of the...
No.
No, you didn't.
You guys thought the story was over?
No.
You took the trash bag?
What do you mean?
How could the trash bag help you?
I plunged it with my hand.
You dived in it.
The water was on your wrist?
No, my hand was in the trash.
And then what did you do with the bag?
There was, so it was like every.
Can't throw that away.
No, no, no, no.
It was similar to an airport or stadium.
It was one of those trash receptacles that had like 15 bags underneath.
Like pre-lined.
So I took one out.
I took the one underneath
the one that was actually holding the trash
so it was a clean bag. Put my hand
in it. Plunged it.
Took that bag. Put it in the trash bag.
Tied up the trash bag.
Put it back in the new trash bag.
You didn't have to do that.
I did, dude.
Was this a moral decision?
Like, your moral compass was like, I don't want to fuck this up for the next person?
No, I made a suite with Dave and his girlfriend, and like, you know, there's a lot of people.
They would have been okay.
No.
No!
You didn't have to be grabbing the shit with your hand.
I didn't grab the shit.
You said you plunged it.
It wasn't the shit.
So you were using your palm for, like, pressure? You made the plunger? Were you, like grabbing the shit with your hand. I didn't grab the shit. You said you plunged it. It wasn't the shit. So you were using your palm for pressure?
You made the plunger?
Were you scooping with your fingers?
You fucked it with your fingers.
You finger banged it.
Yes.
That's how you catch a crawfish.
I like how you guys thought the story was over,
then just walked away from the pool.
I thought you walked away.
It was just a big poop.
No, no, no.
That was not what I could have possibly imagined.
Listen, much like the Marines,
I don't just walk away from something.
Yeah, that is honestly one of the most impressive things you've ever done.
Much like the Marines.
Much like the Marines.
I'm a troop.
You're a troop.
No toilet paper left behind.
You're a team player.
Exactly.
Holy fuck.
I don't think I would ever do that.
No.
I'd move houses if it happened at my own house.
It would have been very embarrassing because it was a single
toilet for a lot of people.
There should be more
than one toilet.
I agree.
It should have been
the pressure should have
been better.
Yes.
For Christmas,
I'm going to get you
a little flask
with some Drano in it.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Carry it around
everywhere you go.
Like a plunger
that I can carry
in my backpack.
And a little mini plunger too.
Just hold it on your belt like Mario.
It was bad.
It was a bad scene.
That's so legendary of you that you did that, though.
It's brave of you to talk about it.
Well, I also had to do it.
It was partly selfish because I wasn't done wiping,
so I needed to make room in the toilet.
So you stood and plunged before you wiped?
I plunged.
I wiped. So were you, plug your ass out during wiped? I plunged. I wiped.
So were you, plug your ass out during this?
Where did the toilet paper go after you wiped?
What?
Where'd you put the toilet paper?
So you wiped.
I was on top of everything in the toilet.
Took a shit, wiped, flushed, good flush.
Wiped some more, flushed, not a good flush.
So I probably had maybe one wipe left.
Then I panicked and I was like, all right, I got to deal with this.
Did the thing.
Plunged it.
Then finished with one last wipe.
What if there weren't bonus bags?
I would have been in trouble.
What would you do?
You just have to go out and just like blame it on somebody else?
Blame it on the next suite?
Put a sign up on front of the door?
I would like to tell you that my answer is I would not
plunge it with my bare hand.
You would have? But I'm sitting here right
now and saying I probably would have plunged it with my
bare hand. I think plunging a toilet
with your bare hand and then washing
it down with soap and water is
far less embarrassing than
clogging a toilet and having everyone
go in there and be like... Your hand would still smell like poop
right now.
Yeah.
I guess it's different once you, like, encounter poop of a baby.
I think it's also a fat guy thing.
Like, Glennie's talked about this.
Fat guys getting accused of clogging toilets.
It's mortifying.
And the smell.
They get accused of every fart smell, he said. Yeah.
Everyone's like, yo, you clogged it?
Yeah, I did. What about, like, running to get the person that has, like, the dessert card said. Yeah. Everyone's like, yo, you clogged it? Yeah, I did.
What about running to get the person that has the dessert card or something like that
and being like, please, please, please help us out?
It was a weird suite setup.
Also, someone clogged the toilet, I feel like.
That's what Sass caught me, remember, when we were in Buffalo?
Oh, yeah.
You clogged the toilet in Buffalo?
In the hotel.
Or was it you, Roan?
I don't think it was me. No. Oh, yeah. You clogged the toilet in Buffalo? In the hotel. Or was it you, Roan? I don't think it was me.
No.
Oh, no, it was.
It was.
Sass was sitting in the lobby, and I walked down.
We just checked in.
I walked down to the front desk.
I don't even know if you knew I was there.
I didn't know he was there, and I went to the front desk.
Someone clogged the toilet in my room.
All right, you tell the story.
Continue.
No, no, it's over now.
It was in your room
No it was in his room
I think it was funny
From my perspective
You had no idea
I was there
I could have done
A pretty good job telling it
I crushed it
No no
Let's handle this
I crushed it
And then what happened
And then Big Cat
Turned around and saw me
And he was like
Oh
Uh oh
Fact
That is
That's a good story
Yeah it was It was So that was my Buffalo trip Poop Uh-oh. Fact. That's a good story, Tone.
It was.
So that was my Buffalo trip.
Poop.
There was rumor that Fights shit himself on the helicopter back, on the walking back.
I mean, going to Buffalo is an experience where it's like all you do is eat.
Yeah.
Pizza, Buffalo wings, beef on whack.
Did you have any beef on whack? Oh, yeah.
I had everything.
Dude, we had so much fucking food.
Is Buffalo an underrated vacation spot?
Yes.
Like long weekend spot?
Yes.
I heard it's really culturally diverse.
No.
Okay.
Well, they have fat people and skinny people.
No, I don't think so.
I don't know about skinny people.
They have like 4 a.m. closing time.
Maybe.
Yes.
Across the board.
It's a fun city in the fact that the people are very fun and nice and good.
Salt of the earth.
Elite food.
Elite food.
Especially bar food. It's the bar food city.
Have you done a – you haven't done a video yet, have you?
No.
But I've eaten there.
Yeah, you've got to do it.
I've eaten there a bunch.
What would it be?
Beef and whack?
Or wings?
Or the pizza?
I guess not the pizza.
You should eat it on the Maid of the Mist.
Did you go to Wingnuts with us?
No, I've never been to Wingnuts.
Every time I see those wings, they look so fucking good.
They're incredible.
Can you talk about them a little bit?
Just because I want to imagine in my brain.
What's so good about them?
What makes them better than all the other wings?
They're always fresh. Ed has a other wings? They're always fresh.
Ed has a whole thing.
They're always fresh.
He buys them the day of.
He...
I can't remember
what the other thing is.
His three things are
size, sauciness, and crunch.
And they have all three of them.
So he just perfects every part?
They're a wing
that has all the sauce on it,
but it has all the crunch.
You know how when you eat a wing
and it's, like, wet? That's so... My God. They're huge wing that has all the sauce on it, but it has all the crunch. You know how when you eat a wing and it's wet?
My God.
They're huge.
So good.
Are they working on getting their own brick-and-mortar restaurant?
They're trying to.
That was part of the money we raised.
They have to be doing really well now.
Yeah, they sold out every single day.
Jesus.
And Ed has never smiled in a picture in his life.
Look at that.
Real one.
How do you not smile behind a big check for you?
You see my hand covering up the corner of the check?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Because for some reason, it probably is maybe PFT,
but for some reason everyone thinks that every time we do anything,
we have to put the number 69 on it.
So that was check number 69.
Oh, geez. I i was like we didn't
need to do this that doesn't matter yeah so i covered it up yeah they're incredible and i think
that there's kind of uh people are like why is a philly cheesesteak special in philadelphia but it
is better in philly same with wings like buffalo wings are better in buffalo and they do a better
job of making their wings their local food.
It hasn't transcended to the point where anybody can make wings as good as the wings in Buffalo.
Yeah.
Would you agree with that?
Yes, I would.
Absolutely.
Money still goes to them.
So if you buy a shirt or a sweatshirt, money still goes to them.
That's good.
Yeah.
There you go.
Pump it up.
Pump it up.
You're on 4XL.
Just buy...
A lot of material.
Perfect.
This is a great shirt.
Size, sauciness, crotch.
Let's make that 69, brother.
Yeah.
Don't you think that'd be a little bit funnier?
Two grand?
There we go.
69, yeah.
How many is under two grand?
Use Apple Pay.
We did it again.
We went and did a commercial yesterday for Owens Mixers.
There's a scene where we're doing a lottery machine,
and they were like, we're going to pull number 69.
We're like, no.
Please don't. That would have been good.
That would have been good.
Please, please.
That's the guy from Sass's Dreams right there on the left.
I know.
I got sent that like 1,000 times.
Wait, what?
Oh, yeah.
Sass sees the devil.
I've seen him once. He's seen the devil once. Is that Brockett? Who's that? Oh, yeah. Sassy's the devil. I've seen him once.
He's seen the devil once.
Is that Brockett?
Who's that?
Jared looks cool.
That's David Ortiz.
You saw him at the back.
To your childhood hero.
Ortiz, Big Papi?
Of course.
I'm more starstruck seeing Jared.
Facts.
Can we pull up the video of Frank dapping up David Ortiz?
He crushed that.
So good.
Crushed it.
You ever realize Foreplay, the podcast, is mostly a podcast about handshakes?
That's like most of what they talk about on the show.
Like who did a good job of dapping up who?
Really?
Dude, every time that they meet golfers, they're always like, who had the good handshake?
Who didn't have the good handshake?
It's the number one handshake podcast out there.
Smooth.
That's just Frank's friend.
Yeah.
Like, hey, what's up?
Frank was content with just a wave.
Dave threw out his hand.
Dave.
Red Sox Dave.
Red Sox Dave. Red Sox Dave. Oh, Dave. Red Sox Dave. Red Sox Dave.
Red Sox Dave.
Oh, yeah.
Red Sox Dave.
Can we throw him on the blogger page as Red Sox Dave?
No, White Sox Dave and Red Sox Dave.
Oh, my God.
Oh, fuck.
Frankie.
Frankie's probably thinking about somebody's dab right now.
Nearly loud enough to get him.
Frankie. Frankie. I said that to yourself. Frankie now. Nearly loud enough to get him. Frankie.
Frankie.
I said that to yourself.
Frankie, where'd he go?
He just walked past.
He just walked away.
We haven't had him in to talk about the...
What was this?
Tacos and titties.
Yeah.
57 minutes ago.
Can we get him?
I just like to talk to him.
They probably had the cleanest dab.
That's a cardboard cutout of Tiger, obviously.
Yeah.
That's gotta be, right?
That does not look like... That's gotta be an old-ass picture, right? That is absolutely a cardboard cutout of Tiger, obviously. Yeah, yeah. That's got to be, right? That does not look like that.
That's got to be an old-ass picture.
That is absolutely a cardboard cutout.
Yeah, that doesn't look real.
Wait, what the fuck?
Look at his face.
It's a bad Photoshop.
Look at the lighting on his hand, too.
Wait, this was today?
This is now.
It was less than an hour ago.
There's no way that's...
That's a cardboard cutout.
Yeah, that's a cardboard cutout.
That's a flat Stanley that they pass around for the holidays.
Where is Riggs right now?
There's such a difference in the clarity of their faces.
Also, why would Tiger...
It looks like he's outside.
This looks like two cardboard cutouts.
And Tiger's all dressed up.
What?
What if it's Tiger with a cardboard cutout of Riggs
Is Riggs 2D
Riggs looks like
It looks like he could be photoshopped in
What is going on
This is like
This is like a Blatman tweet
I don't know if this is a real photo
I can't identify anything
Riggs' bulge looks pretty decent
My word
Good print
Yeah it does
I don't know if he's getting
A little pull from the phone But it looks like it. I don't know if he's getting a little pull from the phone,
but it looks like it's...
I can't...
I mean, it's the shadow.
Look how dark the one side...
Wow, Riggs.
Way to go, buddy.
The duality of Riggs.
We always knew.
We always knew,
but this is just definitive proof.
Is that it coming down?
I think so.
November 25th is a picture of him
and a cardboard cutout of him.
So there are cardboard cutouts of him. So there are cardboard cutouts
of him. Of Riggs?
Yeah, Tim and Riggs.
That could be a cardboard cutout.
Which one's real?
Which one's the real one?
On the right, right? The one on the right is the real one
and the one on the left is the cardboard cutout.
There's about 30 on the
course at the Barstool Classic at each event of the month.
I need it.
Of Josh Riggs?
No, I need Josh Riggs.
Literally at every hole.
What?
I've done a whole video.
We get a few for this.
Come on.
Sorry?
What is this?
He's like a dictator.
Every hole on the course has to have a...
And then what's nuts is people go take pictures with the cardboard cutout, not with him.
He probably got tired
of pictures.
People wait in line
to take a picture
of the cardboard cutout.
That is what he did.
It's like the Rocky statue.
He got tired of pictures.
Yeah, and he's like,
ah, you know what,
I'm just going to put up
a life-size version of myself.
18 of them.
Like a meet-and-greet
photo op with your
cardboard cutout.
Is that every single hole?
That's insane.
It's got to be
every single hole.
I respect it. Did he give himself two extra inches in the cutout, too? Is he taller? He's insane. It's got to be every single hole. I respect it.
Did he give himself two extra inches in the cutout too?
Is he taller?
He's taller.
Every hole that has a truly cooler, so it's like once every two or three is a cutball cutout.
And I heard that Riggs comes to the houses of everybody who's about to compete in the Barstool Classic beforehand
to make sure their Riggs picture is clean so he can make sure that they compete.
He's just dead serious about it.
The fearless leader, Riggs.
Yeah.
Just like, hey, Riggs, can I get a picture? Yep, right over there.
Right over there.
Don't talk to me.
Yeah, right over there.
I am no longer real.
It's just like him, though.
It folds right at the shoulders like him.
Riggs does have a seam right there.
What?
That's hilarious.
This is a dream come true.
This is so funny.
Riggs, hey.
You're in my garage every day.
Riggs got fans in Chicago.
Wait, I want to see the reply to that.
That got him good.
All right, I'm learning what he likes.
Him.
Oh, man.
Fuck, bro.
We need some cardboard cutouts of ourselves everywhere.
We should.
We should put them everywhere.
Yeah, they could probably do this show.
There's a big T one.
Oh, yeah, there is.
Yeah.
How big?
I'm going to put it in that chair.
Is it to scale?
Doesn't big T,
he doesn't like people
to touch it, though.
No, he doesn't.
It's like from the COVID year
when they had people
take pictures
and put them in the stands
at the basketball game.
Wait, he actually doesn't
like people to touch it?
Yeah, I don't think so.
KB, you're going to have
to rip that in half.
Go get it.
Go take it. KB, you're going to have to punch through that. All right, let's, can we flip the camera to see it? Yeah, I don't think so. KB, you're going to have to rip that in half. Go get it. Go take it.
KB, you're going to have to punch through that.
All right, can we flip the camera to see it?
You can't.
We're a personal sport.
You can't be like, I'm putting something on my desk,
no one can touch it.
He doesn't like people to touch any of his things,
I don't think.
No.
Especially his bobbleheads.
Yeah, when Smitty stole the bat of one of his bobbleheads.
Oh, this is great.
And just put it right here,
because I think he's probably going to walk out.
That shit's not to scale. Did he just not notice? I think it's just his upper back. Oh, this is great. And just put it right here because I think he's probably going to walk out. That shit's not to scale.
Did he just not notice?
I think it's just his upper hat.
Oh, he's not there right now.
Even so,
that's not an upper hat to scale.
He's like a minion on the back.
The show will last
as long as Big T,
it takes for Big T
to casually walk by here
and see himself.
Don't hurt it.
Don't break it.
I want him to start
fucking smashing.
Unless you rip through it.
I'm just going to rip in half.
Hell yes.
Can we get the mic on it?
They didn't even try to like when they cut these out to make them human shaped.
No, they put them on tombstones.
Yeah.
A little pre-possumous.
Don't you think that was probably weirder for the athletes to have like a thousand cardboard cutouts in the stands?
Yes.
Can we zoom in on his sunglasses?
What's he looking at?
He took the picture.
He took the money grab people like paid for it. Oh, his sunglasses? What's he looking at? He took the picture. He took the money grab people paid for.
Oh, yeah.
I have one from Rutgers.
He took a picture.
I know I was in a Wisconsin one, but I remember.
Oh, that was taken by a ghost.
Ooh.
Oh, he put it on a timer.
No.
That looks like a tank.
That's Hank.
It is Hank.
That's Hank.
He put a dissenting.
No, no, left.
There.
That's Hank. He put a dissenting. No, no, left. There. That's Hank.
The culprit.
They had won it, Wisconsin, and the straps that they put on the seat was like perfectly through my belly button.
It's making me look even fatter.
He looks like a reply guy.
Let's see if I can find it.
You guys were at the WVU basketball game, distinguished alumni.
Oh, yeah, that's right. They got a big game tonight. You guys were at the WVU basketball game. Distinguished alumni. Oh, yeah. That's right.
They got a big game tonight.
You don't watch?
Nah, probably not.
I'm fake.
What's OJ Mayo up to?
Overseas?
Made a shitload of money.
Made a shitload of money.
Did you go to Huntington Prep?
He went to Huntington High School.
Oh.
Not even Prep?
They just dominated everyone.
I remember I went to watch him play when he was in high school.
And after the first quarter, he had like 30 points.
He just took his shoes off and threw them up into the stands.
Damn.
First half.
Was this just like a regular season game?
Yeah.
Did he have other shoes?
I don't know.
I think he was just done.
Oh, that happened.
There was a kid in high school who did that.
He scored like four touchdowns in the first half against us,
and he just threw his helmet off, and he was like, I'm done for the day.
It was like the start of the second quarter.
That's legendary.
Did him and Bill Walker go to high school together?
Jordan Gowans.
Who was the other kid that played with him?
Who?
And then Bill Walker went to Kansas State.
O.J. Mayo.
Somebody good.
I thought it was Bill Walker.
Bill Walker, yes.
Bill Walker.
But then who else went to USC?
Michael Beasley and Bill Walker at Kansas State.
They must have got the bag.
Oh, big time the bag.
Who went to USC with O.J. Mayo?
Who else was on that team?
I thought there was somebody good or decent. Was it Romeo Langford? Maybe.J. Mayo. Who else was on that team? I thought there was somebody good or decent.
Was it Romeo Langford?
Maybe.
No.
No.
I don't think it was fucking that.
Or was it a relative of Master P?
No, not Romeo.
No Romeo.
It was no Romeos.
Romeo Must Die?
Yeah, it was Romeo Must Die.
Oh.
Look at that right through my belly button.
Look how big that baby is. Umbilical Die. Oh. Look at that right through my belly button. Oh, it really.
Look how big that baby is.
Umbilical cord.
Yeah.
That baby's massive.
Was it Scalabrini?
Yeah, Scalabrini got the bag, Steven.
I mean, he's a good college player.
But, okay.
Maybe he did.
Thomas Gibson?
Steven and I are in a rough patch in our relationship right now.
Oh, yeah.
Why? We ought to watch trivia. Oh, yeah. Why?
We ought to watch trivia.
You know what I miss?
Let's prank call someone like we're on The Dozen.
Swaggy P?
Yeah, let's do that.
You want to call Nick Young?
No, Nick Young was on that team with O.J. Mayo.
No, he wasn't, actually.
Who do we want?
O.J. Mayo, Todd Gibson. Maybe it was Todd Gibson. I don't, actually. Who do we want? O.J. Mayo, Taj Gibson.
Maybe it was Taj Gibson.
I don't think so.
But there's only one.
Is someone letting carbon monoxide into here?
I think there's a mic on in that room.
All right, someone call.
Owen, call someone.
Who should you call?
What should our question be?
Let's call Riggs.
Yeah.
Call Riggs.
We've done him.
DeMar DeRozan?
Was he on that team? I don't know. Chat's spam. DeMar DeRozan? Was he on that team?
John O'Chatt spamming DeMar DeRozan.
I don't think he was on that team.
No.
With O.J. Mayo.
I hate fucking spam.
Spam.
Stop spamming us.
DeMar DeRozan was the year after.
Enough with the spam.
No more spam.
Don't fucking spam us.
No spam stands for space alien meat?
It's not.
No way.
That's probably a backronym, like how golf is gentleman only, ladies forbidden.
All right, you're going to call Riggs.
I'll do the ad.
Think of the question you're going to ask him, Nick.
I'm not calling Riggs.
Why?
I'm nervous.
I'm not ready yet.
I think Owen should call Riggs.
Yeah.
And it has to be believable.
Will he pick up?
Yeah, so it has to be a golf question right
yeah you just be like who won uh one of the masters in a year the tiger won
and then it'll be wrong yeah yeah oh fuck it wasn't yes yes that'll be good all right mugsy
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All right.
Who are you going to do it?
Call.
I'm not doing it.
Yes.
No, I'm not ready yet.
Why?
In 2007, Tiger Woods tied for second with Ratif Goosen and which other player?
No, no.
The answer has to be Tiger.
It's like who won Dural in like 2012 or something like that.
Who won Dural back to back in like 2012? Who won Doral back-to-back in 2012?
No.
It was like 08, 09 he won Doral.
Or who won the Masters in like...
Let's see.
What year did he win the Masters?
2005.
2005, who won the Masters?
That wouldn't be the question, though.
The wording would have to be...
Okay, what would it have to be?
This golfer... Do you want him to get it right or wrong?
We want him to get it right and tell him
it's wrong.
So get him a Tiger question that he knows the answer to.
That's funny too.
So we can't lose.
But it almost has to be like a Tiger Woods question.
I think it was funnier when it was an absurd
question and we acted
like they got it right.
How long did he wear the red shirt? when it was an absurd question and we acted like they got it right. Oh, yeah.
What is like Tiger's like,
how long did he wear the red shirt?
Or does he still do that?
Or maybe like closest guess,
how many minutes of golf has Tiger played
or something like that?
How many red shirts has Tiger Woods worn
in his golf career?
Maybe we should just gas him up.
Yeah, let's ask how many minutes he's played
and then whatever he says,
we'll just be like, yeah, that was it.
That's a little...
He's not going to believe that, you don't think?
No.
Riggs went to Harvard.
How many hole-in-ones does Tiger Woods have on the PGA Tour?
No, I'm saying that's the question.
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's good.
What's the answer?
Whatever he says.
Yeah.
Whatever he says. Who's calling? Oh, he's good. What's the answer? Whatever he says. Yeah. Whatever he says.
Who's calling?
But no, Ben, if you think right, 20 in his career.
Okay.
Nick.
I'm not ready for this.
Yes, you are.
I'm nervous.
Nick.
I'll do it if you send me his number.
No, because he won't pick up a random number.
Nick, do it.
I don't have his number.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, he does.
No, I swear I don't.
I gave it to him.
Did you send it to me?
No, I gave Riggs your number so he'll know it's you calling.
Did you give him my number? I said, put this in your phone in case Nick ever tries anything funny.
Somebody send me his number.
I don't have his number.
Yes, you do.
Stop being scared.
When would I ever get Riggs' number?
You're such a cowardly lion.
So what is the question?
You want me to call him?
Yes.
How many hole-in-ones does Tiger Woods have in his career?
Or just call him and try to have a conversation.
Just try to talk to him.
See how long you can stay on the phone.
What are you humming about?
I don't think we have it yet.
Why do you want this to be so perfect?
I like your sweatshirt.
Thank you.
It's fine.
I'm just going over it in my head.
It's just anticlimactic.
Alright.
He says a number and then we say what?
You got it. You're correct. Should we try one
with White Sox Dave just to kind of get our ball rolling?
Yeah, warm up with White Sox Dave.
You can do anything with White Sox Dave.
Should we ask him a hunting question?
No, I think we'll go up with...
We've done it.
He'll know.
I can do Dante.
No, do the White Sox Dave.
Do Carl.
Do...
What's like a garage door manufacturer?
Red Sox Dave.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Oh, my God.
Jankies lose.
What do we do?
What do we do?
Are we in big tea?
That's too much tea.
Yeah.
We got enough tea.
We're high enough tea right here.
Brandon?
We call Brandon.
It was Brandon?
Brandon will know because of the yaks going on right now.
Was he trying to flame publicity yesterday?
What?
Yeah, I saw that.
Why did he say that?
He's an evil person.
Yeah.
What did he do?
Not the homegirl.
He said that she doesn't get fucking numbies.
That's just not true.
Wait, he said that?
Yes.
Are you?
Yeah.
Wait, when did he say that?
On his broadcast.
What broadcast?
Unnecessary Roughness.
What a fucking dick.
What was the context?
He just slagged her off.
He was just like, she doesn't get numbies.
Someone brought her up, and he was like, she doesn't get numbies.
Damn.
Why?
Pickles.
Oh, no.
What's up with your face down there?
I know.
That's a cardboard cutout of you.
That looks animated, like poorly.
That's you?
That looks like Nick Mullen.
Yeah, that's PS2.
You could see Nick Mullen's face in a PETA, though, Kyle.
Do you and Ben Affleck have the same side profile?
I don't know.
Well, they didn't change the top pick.
That's pretty lazy.
Yeah.
It looks like they drew on your hair and your mustache.
Yeah, they must have.
You're much more handsome than that picture, and I don't understand what it is.
Thank you.
I want to see the clip of Brandon going after publicity.
Yeah, that's just not right.
That's not right.
That's just not fucking right.
She's got a live show tonight.
Sold out.
Where's that?
Fuck yeah. Some tea house? The City Winer. That's not right. That shit's not fucking right. She's got a live show tonight. Sold out. Where's that? Fuck yeah.
Some tea house?
The City Winery.
The City Winery.
That's where Mulaney did his last...
Shut up.
Yeah, she said if we're Barstow employees,
we don't need tickets, we can just go.
So I'll be there.
Where's the City Winery?
It's on the Hudson.
It's on the water.
I told her I'd go, though.
That's a fucking good friend right there.
Great friend.
Her fans love you, though.
Yeah. Because of the period cup. I've been working so hard to get fucking good friend right there. Great friend. Her fans love you, though. Yeah.
Because of the period cup.
I've been working so hard to get a nickname here, and I got it.
Period cup guy.
I'm probably going to bring you up on stage.
Yeah, like Trent.
Ladies and gentlemen, period.
Yeah, they're going to throw him at me.
A goblet of fucking period blood.
Gross.
Gross.
That was gross.
It's actually not gross.
It's not gross.
I think it's quite beautiful.
It's totally normal. The idea that a goblet would be's not gross. I think it's quite beautiful. Totally normal.
A goblet would be what they use.
I think they have better cups for that than goblets.
That's an archaic idea.
KB's coming with me.
Are you coming?
I will.
All right, cool.
I thought KB's coming to the Rockettes with me tonight.
You want to go see a tree?
You want to go see a tree?
Double book, bro.
It was like $100 a ticket, bro.
You're going to fucking bail now?
No.
Exactly.
Sorry, Nick.
That's fine. I'm bringing my boy Roman, too. You're going to fucking bail now? No. Exactly. Sorry, Nick. That's fine.
I'm bringing my boy Roman, too.
You guys would love him.
Wow.
He's the creative director at the WNBA.
Roman is?
Really?
Does he have Tinder?
Probably grow him in swipes.
Let's fucking go, KB.
That's why we're going to the Rockettes tonight.
We crack jokes like that the whole fucking time.
These guys are on a different wavelength than you now.
Why don't you come to the show with me?
When is it?
Tonight.
What time?
Eight.
Oh, I can't.
Oh, no, I was wrong.
Six.
Also can't.
That is a fucking, a very veteran move, asking what time something is.
What time is it?
If you'd say any other time besides that one.
Yeah, that is.
One of you guys has to go with me.
It can't just be me and Roman.
If I didn't have any children, I would go.
You can take care of that for me.
Sass will watch him.
I would.
Oh, my God.
My son is way more mature than Sam.
Yeah.
What would you do for an hour of babysitting?
What would you do?
I think you would, actually.
You'd watch Paw Patrol.
You would be good.
They don't like Paw Patrol.
It's called Cars.
Cars.
What?
You watch one, two, three, and then two again.
Yeah.
Oh, I'd love Cars.
Jackson Storm, who's the evil guy.
The evil one who-
Is also Arnie Hammer.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Apparently, Owen Wilson- Double evil.... was in deep depression Hammer. Oh, really? Yes! Apparently Owen Wilson fell into a deep
depression after that movie. Why?
I don't know. He's making
bank off just his voice. He just didn't like
it, I guess. He didn't like how he looked up there.
He's doing another one. Money.
Where'd you see that?
He actually tried to kill himself after it came out.
Because of cars?
Could have been unrelated.
Probably was.
Probably was unrelated.
This dude's the lead in a Pixar movie.
Did he try to do it with a car?
Yeah.
In a garage.
A red car.
He wasn't a car.
He tried to use Lightning McQueen.
That's a good-ass movie.
It's a very...
Oh, well, two is good.
It's a mystery movie.
One is great.
Which one's poster is the crash?
What?
Three.
Which one's what?
Poster is the crash.
Three.
Three.
That's the dark one?
That's the one where someone pointed out, I was saying that Jackson Storm is the evil
villain, and it's actually not true.
The time and everyone getting older is the villain in that one.
Oh, wow.
Do they get rusty and stuff?
No, it's just time comes for everyone.
Damn. That's the whole theme of The Sopranos.
Correct.
If you eat pussy, you're kind of
low-key gay.
You're a Bushman of the Kalahari.
It's those two themes.
I love that.
I get that in The Sopranos. They gave Drew's those two themes. I love that. I can sit on board with that.
No, they gave
Junior Soprano shit
for eating pussy.
They're like,
you know he eats pussy.
Bobby Sanfilippo
spilled the beans
to our girls at the salon
and then Junior
beat the shit out of her.
Yeah, he's like,
you can't let this out
that I eat your pussy.
Basically troops.
Yeah, I mean,
I think French Montana's like that too
maybe DJ Khaled
DJ Khaled yeah
I think there's a lot of people
who are just like
nah
and DJ Khaled's gross
yeah
so a guy like that
needs to get the
Glenny Balls tea
and fucking set up camp
should have a festival
by the pussy
while he eats it
we should have a festival
I'd never eat pussy
I'd love to have a festival
I put on
I put on a Kangol to eat pussy.
That could be one of the shops.
KB said he puts on a Kangol to eat pussy.
Forward.
He's going to have a booth at the festival
where he's just eating pussy.
Oh, gross.
He guesses your age.
He's blindfolded.
He's at the pie eating booth.
You get to throw your pussy at his face from a distance.
Gross.
That's like Jimmy Neutron hair going.
I like it.
I like it, too.
Roman Swipes.
Except for Ruff and Rowdy Ron.
That's going to be fucking incredible.
I'm pumped.
When are we going?
I think 1 o'clock, I heard, on Friday.
That's fucking awesome.
Yeah, so awesome.
We're just going to show up and come home?
Why can't the rest of the boys come along?
Yeah, I've never been.
You can.
You have to fight, though.
Yeah, it's true.
I would love to go.
Nick, you could be a part of Ruff and Rowdy.
Yak in the air.
We actually got it deleted from the internet, that entire Ruff and Rowdy.
Thank God.
Nice scrub, guys.
Oh, I forgot you guys went.
Me too. deleted from the internet that entire rough and rowdy thank god nice scrub oh i forgot you guys went me too and they actually ruined it for you i don't even remember like i still don't think it was bad no we just had a lot of things like set up and prepped and then it just like it's not
never happened yeah it was a it wasn't bad it was that Ruff and Rowdy is very much like you can't prep anything.
It's a reality show.
It was bad because I don't want to like –
If you're saying that wasn't bad, then I can't take your feedback for anything.
No, because I – no.
It's like when I do something good and you're like, that was good,
then I'm like, okay.
No, I remember you guys had a couple interviews during it that were funny.
I laughed multiple times.
The ring girl contest, that was bad.
We didn't know what to do.
That was a little messy.
Yeah.
That was a little messy.
That part was bad.
We were supposed to have a pool, and we were supposed to, and then they just showed up
with a bag of bubble wands, and they were like, can you do something with this?
All right.
Yeah.
That was bad.
Frank was there. He saved bad. Frank was there.
He saved it.
Saved it.
I actually, I think I overheard that Frank didn't get invited to this one.
He was very upset.
He was upset.
Is he still going, though?
No.
I don't think so.
I don't know what, he doesn't really have a role.
I thought he said he was going to be there to be like Jerry's hype-up man.
I think Jerry has an entire crew.
So I think that's probably why.
But I heard that and I was sad.
Sad that he's sad.
He's always great in it.
I don't know why wouldn't they not invite him.
I think he is, but I don't know what like.
He doesn't have a role.
Yeah.
You got to carve something out for yourself.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Are you into dude's corner?
There's still a good chance he might just show up.
Oh.
Yeah, good question, Owen.
I'm supporting the do, but I'm still going to be a reporter.
I'm still going to be sideline asking questions,
but I'll probably be asking to do the questions.
So you're a team to do.
Yes.
Confirmed.
Yes.
You said you were too, actually, earlier.
I don't know if you've –
Whoa.
Yeah. So I love Jerry, but You said you were too, actually, earlier. I don't know. Have you? Whoa. Yeah.
So I love Jerry, but I also agree with what Dave said, that I think it will be hilarious.
It will be hilarious if Nadeau wins.
Correct.
It'll be really good.
A split decision, like going to the cards.
Do I think Nadeau is going to win?
No.
I hope Jerry wins in a split decision.
No reason to even say that if you're on his side.
Why would you even say that?
Yeah, that is kind of.
I'm not really on his side.
That's why. Synchronized knockout would be the best. I want Nadeau to win, but I don that if you're on his side. Why would you even say that? Yeah, that is kind of... I'm not really on his side. That's why.
Synchronize knockout would be the best.
I want to do the win, but I don't think it's going to happen.
That would be the best.
If they both knock each other out at once.
Neither gets off the mat.
What Rocky was that?
That was actually the Simpsons one.
Oh, yeah.
I thought there was another movie.
I'm pretty sure you're talking about The Simpsons, right?
It was The Simpsons TV show.
Yeah, I think you're right.
Maybe it was a Rocky.
Was it a Rocky?
No.
No, that would be way too silly.
It's the Simpsons.
The fights in Rocky are the silliest fights in the movie.
They're so silly.
No defense at all.
They're just like.
Yeah.
Then the other one takes their turn.
Yeah.
Maybe it was.
Yeah, they run like tennis in it.
Is The Simpsons something like everybody should watch, you think?
First couple seasons, first handful.
I think the first ten seasons.
I've never seen any of it.
I think it's really good.
Oh, there was in Rocky II.
Yeah, there's a simultaneous knockout.
That's right.
The Simpsons did have it as well.
I think when Homer fought Mike Tyson. See? That's right. The Simpsons did have it as well. I think when Homer fought Mike Tyson.
See? The shit's funny.
That's hilarious. The Southern Dandy.
Yesterday I watched the Family Guy
clip of when
Michael Richards goes on the
what's the talk show where he apologizes?
He's still
apologizing? It's like really
old. Oh.
I was going through a deep dive last night.
Didn't he go on like
some late night show
with Jerry Seinfeld?
Seinfeld was like, he's a good guy.
It was really bad.
KB pitched the idea that Michael Richards
should write on the bags at Dick's Last Resort.
I'm obsessed with it.
I just re-remembered their whole hat scheme.
What is this?
Dick's Last Resort.
I don't know anything about it.
Oh, yeah, with the cone hats?
Yeah.
What's Dick's Last Resort?
What the hell?
You ever been to Dick's Last Resort?
Yeah.
They write an in, so they roast you on a hat.
Yeah, they write shit.
The waiters do?
Yeah.
They're waiters.
No, it's like a fun restaurant. Yeah, it's where the waiters are rude. Oh, they're dicks. Yeah, they write shit. The waiters do? Yeah. They're waiters. No, it's like a fun restaurant.
Yeah, it's like where the waiters are rude.
Oh, they're dicks.
Yeah, I understand.
If I was a waiter, I would take that job real serious.
So would I.
It'd be a blast.
Yeah.
You have to.
You're getting paid like $2.50 an hour.
Waiters get paid nothing.
It's all the tips.
Yeah, but still.
It's like, how are you roasting somebody at $2.50 an hour? I would take it personal. I would nothing. It's all the tips. Yeah, but still, it's like, how are you roasting somebody at $2.50 an hour?
I would take it personal.
I would too.
Oh, I thought,
yeah, $2.50 an hour.
Yeah.
I don't know why
I thought you meant $250.
I was really thrown off.
You gotta wear that.
Pretty funny.
And then people wear it
around the whole day.
That's pretty funny.
What does that one say?
I'm like a pothole.
Everyone's hit it.
See, they're very generic,
but I get really personal.
Yeah.
You're ugly.
Big mole.
Yeah.
Just, like, not even a row.
You just point something out. You just point, yeah.
She beats me.
He likes it.
Okay.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh.
I wonder what the system is, like, the training for that.
Yeah.
Oh, there's probably so many, like, guidelines. I can see, like, some of them just follow the rules, like the training for that. Yeah. Oh, there's probably so many guidelines.
I can see some of them just follow the rules, do the generic ones,
and some of them are like aspiring comedians.
Yeah.
And they get lawsuits filed against them.
No, we were talking about it, and if somebody horribly deformed came in,
what do you do?
You panic.
It's like that Key and Peele sketch with the crowd work.
Oh, I haven't seen it.
The one where he's a burn victim and he's like,
make fun of the burns.
You've never
seen that? Oh, it's so funny.
Dude, I dropped my trail mix.
You dropped your trail mix.
That's not good.
The sunflower seeds are everywhere. What the fuck, dude?
Do you think sunflower seeds belong in trail mix more than M&M's do?
There's such a stupid add-on.
Who's complaining about M&M's in trail mix?
Yeah.
Nick, what?
Why do you need that in trail mix?
Because it's the most delicious part.
That's what makes trail mix.
People like the most in it.
Yeah, but then the name shouldn't be trail mix.
Why?
What does trail mix connote?
It's like you're out on the trail.
It has everything you need in one.
Salty and sweet.
The salt and sweet combo really hits good.
Yeah, it does.
It's a great snack.
It is.
Do you like to finish salt or sweet?
It's always tough.
I never know when to stop.
Yeah, I don't know.
Sweet.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you sure about that take?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, that was a hot take.
Yeah, finish sweet.
I like to finish salt, I think.
You missed one, Rob.
Yeah, you did miss one.
I'm not going to finish.
You missed one individual seed.
Grab it. We're looking at it, man. You missed one individual seed. Grab it.
We're looking at it, man.
Oh, I got some hair in it.
Center frame.
Oh!
You got hair?
Yeah.
I got rug hair.
Wait, Steven, does Tom Brady have a podcast?
Yeah.
Jim Gray?
A Let's Go podcast?
With Jim Gray?
Damn.
Wow.
You listen to it?
That's bad. Was that a real question, Owen? You don't listen to it? No. Damn. Wow. You listen to it?
Was that a real question, Owen?
You don't listen to it?
No.
What?
No.
I mean, it doesn't really go into dealings with a team, I would think.
I think it's more just like his
overall lifestyle.
The TB12 brand has a podcast as well
hosted by Alex Guerrero.
You listen to that?
I don't.
Did you guys ever give shit to Steven for refusing to give back the virtual game ball last week?
No.
I did.
After a lot of pressure.
It was a moral dilemma.
I had to react.
I had to get something posted in real time.
And then I had to actually think about the consequences, do a little more research.
I took a drive. I had to gather myself. You took a do a little more research. I took a drive.
I had to gather myself.
You took a drive?
Was it a silent drive or did you have music?
What?
The drive.
Did you have music on or was it more of like a silent?
No, it was a silent drive.
I had to think.
You really took a drive because Antonio Brown faked a vaccination card.
Having to take a drive about anything is so dramatic.
Yeah.
Why is that weird?
I had to think about it.
What?
Why is that weird?
Give us the thought breakdown.
Well, like, I mean, I'm the guy who waited in line for 20 hours to get the vac,
so, like, I'm not forcing people to do that,
but, like, the fact that he lied about it is a horrible look.
And the guy's got a terrible rap.
Then what's the –
He's really good.
We have the last football game with him in over a calendar year.
Right.
So where do I stand on the issue?
Do I want him gone?
And?
I mean, we got our coach, 69 years old, is two-time cancer survivor, Tom Moore,
offensive assistant, 83 years old.
Oh, that they're at risk, you're saying?
Oh, both those guys are at super high risk.
So where did you land?
So I'm not happy with... There's a lot more cons than pros here.
Hold on, let's hear his decision.
Let's hear his decision.
So, I mean, I support the Buccaneers organization, what they choose to do.
I'm not going to punish them necessarily.
I did take away the virtual game ball, and I gave it to Hank.
He's not going to punish the Bucs.
Just so everyone's clear, Stephen's not going to punish the Bucs.
I mean, like. Do you still have your AB merch in the store?
No, I think...
No, that's not in the store anymore.
So if something happens health-wise, it bloods on your hands.
Correct.
Yeah, that is true.
As part of cancel culture...
No, I don't support their actions.
But...
The NFL handled their discipline.
Three game checks, suspended three games.
But if you were a man of morals and principles, you would refuse to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play football until Antonio Brown is not on the team.
No.
Yes.
Jay, if AB walked up to your front door and knocked on the door right now, would you let him around your family?
So they are vaccinated now so how can you trust the story that came out on espn they all the players are vaccinated so two of them are with the team right
now one of them got the virtual game ball last week and would be a huge help because they're
starting safeties out but they are vaccinated it was more of like the issue that they got vaccination cards that were all like an hour and a half away from Tampa and it got investigated.
I just don't understand.
Like Aaron Rodgers, for example.
I've been very clear.
He should be in prison.
There's no like – I have not wavered at all.
Not one second.
You know where I stand as a human being.
It's not that hard to have morals and scruples. And you didn't need to go on a drive that's the thing about you you never move
your morals like it's a goalpost right is it oh he lied prison boom done easy steven's here it's
been a week and he's still wishy-washy no i i issued a notes app thoughts on it yeah no i saw
it but like i still don't think i think you're okay with no i'm not happy i'm very
disappointed the players actually let me ask you a question antonio brown wins super bowl mvp this
year asterix of course no i'm gonna cheer for him oh there we go there we go i mean he's
super bowls mean more than people's lives didn't say that you did with your actions he is handling
his he's taking his punishment appropriately how many deaths would you take on your hands I didn't say that. You did with your actions. He is handling his...
He's taking his punishment appropriately.
How many deaths would you take on your hands
for another Super Bowl?
Bozo?
That's a good question.
If we had a button that said,
you press this button and 10 people
anywhere in the world die, you don't know them,
but you win another Super Bowl.
This year?
Yes.
You're thinking about...
Jesus.
Bozo.
No, whoa.
Oh, Che. Oh, my God. If it was next... You're thinking about it? Jesus. I mean, no. Oh, Che.
Oh, my God.
Che, if it was next year, would that change the answer?
The monster!
Also, you've never seen a movie.
If you hit the button, it would end up being like your wife and kids.
Yeah, it always is.
He didn't realize.
What if it's guaranteed people over 90?
People what?
Guaranteed over 90 or under six months.
But they're all veterans.
They're all nurses and veterans.
Same thing?
No, I mean, we should win it on our own.
Heroes.
Which I think we'll do this year.
So it's not about the people dying.
It's that you just don't want to have your actions.
You're the worst football team without Antonio Brown.
But why did you ask this year?
Is that because you think they're already a favorite this year
and maybe a down year?
Oh, he was trying to collect even more. Yeah, he's thinking for the future. He's like, I don't're already a favorite this year and maybe a down year? He was trying to collect even more.
He's thinking for the future.
He's like, I don't have to kill anyone this year, but next year I might have to.
We're always thinking about the future.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
Steven, answer me this.
I don't think any fan in my shoes would disagree.
So any fan in your shoes meaning you.
I wouldn't let two people die. No.
If my team –
You could never press that button.
If I had Antonio Brown on my team right this second, I would say end the season.
We're trying to win.
That would be easy.
Don't play the Packers on Sunday night.
Don't play them.
It would be easy.
Do not show up to that game.
It's not right.
We're trying to win the Super Bowl, not the Walter Payton Man of the Year.
Oh, come on, Steven.
That's a low blow. Wow. Oh, come on, Steven. That's a low blow.
Wow.
Answer me this, though, Steven.
Say the Buccaneers wind up in the Super Bowl against Bill Belichick and the Patriots.
Tom Brady's former coach.
Would be good for business.
Who are you rooting for?
The Bucs.
But it's Tom Brady's former coach.
Are you sure about that?
Jay, I got a hypothetical for you.
I don't know what Rodney said.
Jay, say.
How could you do that to his good friend?
His former coach.
He has so many teammates who used to be on his team,
and they're all in the Patriots.
You got to think some of those guys are friends with him.
Friends with Tom Brady?
The quarterback of the Bucs?
Yeah.
But Tom Brady has more friends on the Bucs, I would think.
You don't know that?
I'm pretty sure.
I don't know if you know that.
Jay, say somehow you found out that Tom Brady was responsible for like 25 deaths.
Murder.
Cold blood.
And it's the day of the Super Bowl.
And the Bucs are in it.
And there's a good chance they're going to win.
Do you?
Did he not even notice?
Big T!
No, he noticed.
He didn't care.
He just doesn't care.
He didn't notice.
He's going to walk in and be like, okay.
Yeah, I actually want to see his reaction.
Oh, he just noticed.
Does he notice?
I think he just noticed.
Did he appreciate it?
What's up?
What's up? What's up?
You want to sit down?
Are you kidding me?
How did you not notice?
Are you mad?
How did you not notice?
Oh, my God.
I think I did see it.
It just didn't work.
I did see it.
It was bad.
That was awesome.
We can't end the show now.
Go on with your question.
Oh, I was just going to ask, so would you tell anyone that Tom Brady is a serial killer
or would you let them play?
Oh, great question.
It's probably an appropriate question to ask a Ravens fan.
What?
Oh, you're doing whataboutism now?
Well, no.
So the answer is no.
The answer is no, you wouldn't tell anybody.
You're doing whataboutism.
The Ray Lewis thing.
Right, but we're asking you.
And they didn't know beforehand.
You do.
I mean, they did know it was the year before he won the Super Bowl.
We're two hours before kickoff, and it's literally, someone drops, air drops, accidentally
air drops all this evidence that is airtight evidence that Tom Brady has killed 50 people
with his hands.
And then eaten their brains.
Who am I doing this?
It's a pregame.
Oh my God, what?
Who is anybody to interrupt the judicial process?
Oh no.
No, no, no.
Jay.
He's an innocent man and you get the information.
Anybody to interrupt the judicial process.
Jay, he hasn't been.
There is no judicial process.
Only you know.
Only you know.
Only you know.
And it's a pregame ritual. He does it before every game. Jay, he hasn't been... There is no judicial process. Only you know. Only you know. Only you know. And it's a pregame ritual.
Like, he does it before every game.
Yeah, before every single game,
he kills a young boy.
And it's two hours before the game,
and he's on the hunt right now.
I mean, I'm not trying to be Greg Sciano here,
but, you know, you alert the appropriate people.
So you would just tell me?
Yeah.
Yeah, you would.
Yeah, you would.
You motherfucker. How would that phone call go yeah he's even be like
uh i got something real quick to tell you tom brady's murdered he would wait till 400 young
boys he would definitely wait till after the game yeah you would and that's okay uh no i don't think
so i think i would handle it appropriately i I mean, we've already done this.
You said you want Tyree Kill on your team.
I mean, if he, you know, if he do trial, certainly.
And, you know, we'll see.
Antonio Brown is serving his punishment.
That's what this country is about, right?
Are you ready to meet your maker with answers like these?
Wow, good question.
When Steven shows up to the pearly gates
did you accidentally text bruce arians once uh i mistakenly texted the gm jason light once yes
what you say i said be there in three minutes babe talking to your wife that was meant for my
wife yes how did that happen Was he in your recent texts?
Yes, and I was coming home from the train.
I just gave my ETA.
And then what did he reply?
He didn't.
But then you replied, you tried to clarify it.
I think I said, yeah, this was a long time ago, but yeah.
And this was before we had met, so it was very what if uh you were in a in a cuomo
brother situation with uh tom brady and uh like you knew that tom brady was under investigation
for some impropriety would you help him out and like tell him that like certain people were coming
after him or that people were investigating him would you funnel information to tom brady if he
were under duress is this a non-serious crime? I don't know what the Cuomo thing is.
Is murder serious?
He murdered someone?
Sexually?
Sexually assaulted someone?
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's a very difficult question to ask because you don't know
all the facts. You have to believe the people that are closest to ask because you don't know all the facts you have to believe
the people that are
closest to you
so I certainly
want to hear that side
I don't think
anyone in here
would not cover up
for their
I don't want to say
cover up
but not believe their
maybe we'll end this show
this is great
we should have Stephen
teach an ethics course
yeah
I mean
if you found out
PFT was accused
of something you're not automatically going to be like, fuck you, dude.
You're probably going to want to hear him out.
I'd march him to jail.
And he'd be sitting right next to Aaron Rodgers.
I'm just saying.
He'd be sitting right next to Aaron Rodgers.
March him right to jail.
Yeah, march him right to jail.
It's called ethics, brother.
You don't wear rings for ethics.
Wait, what?
There are ethics bowls, just like there are Super Bowls.
You could get a ring for ethics.
I guess you don't value it enough.
If we want to put a positive spin on this,
Steven is a guy that you want in your corner because he will ethically not do anything.
No.
If you tell him that you've committed heinous crimes, he'll be like,
well, yak tomorrow Yeah
I demagnetized
His moral compass
And it's fucking
Fluttering all over the place
If it came out
That Kyle Rittenhouse
Can throw at 90 yards
Alright
We'll end the show
You're the best
I love you
I love you
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you. You're the best. I love you. I love you. I love you. It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop
And do a Yankees love
It's the act Thank you.