The Yak - Rone and Pat Bev Swing By For Funky Time | The Yak 3-18-24

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, QJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. Sponsored by Roback. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. QZips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

I'm wearing the joggers right now. They're the best in the game. Roback.com. We love Roback. Hello, boys. Nice hats. We look like a team. Yeah. Hell yeah. I don't care about messing up my hair.

Nope. Nope. The Hat Boys. One cohesive unit. I got a couple surprises for us today. I'll go find a hat. Thank you. You don't know what the surprise is yet. Well, no shit. But it could be bad.

It could be bad. Yeah. The way you said it implied good. They actually are both good. Okay. The first surprise is that All Business Pete is here, and I've said I'd suck his dick for him to do the gauntlet. Okay.

So we might get to watch me suck his dick or him do the gauntlet. Big hit. We have to get him to do it. Dude, I literally was just like, please. It's got to be the other thing. I don't mean to correct you. You told him I'd suck his dick to do the gauntlet. Well, he said no to me, and then I said.

I think at one point he threw my name out. I threw him. I think Titus was the one that. I mean, you're the one we offer up. You're the offer. I think I actually would suck his dick for him to do the gauntlet. We just need a designated sucker on the show. Yeah, I'll be the designated suckerlet. We just need a designated sucker on the show.

I'll be the designated sucker. Okay. We got a designated eater. Yeah, but wait. If Shay can eat pussy, he probably can suck a mean dick too. Jay? Let that mouth do. Never down my skills, but I have no experience. Do you think if you had to suck a dick, how would you go about it?

You have to. If you don't suck the dick, you die. Your kids die. Everyone dies. Show us the technique. Would you be able to bring the guy to completion? I mean, you gotta use the hands, eye contact.

Eye contact during dick sucking? Oh, man. That scene changes. One sentence ruined blowjobs for life. That'd be mind-boggling. Eye contact. Eye contact. You wanna cum on my glasses?

Alright, alright. You guys not eye contact guys? Would you suck dick with glasses on, Che? Uh... Yeah, you'd have to. You'd have to see what's going on. Yeah, you gotta look up. I mean, I'm on the record for being like a glasses-off sex guy, so...

Oh good, you're on the record. That would a glasses-off sex guy. Oh, good. You're on the record. That would have been a mistake. I'd hate to look down and they're all foggy. Oh, good point. That's a good point. Kate could probably add some insight to this. Oh, yeah, I guess Kate could be our...

Kate, we're voting a designated dick sucker. What? Yeah. In case the yak ever has to suck a dick, we need one person to do it. I mean, I still have neck function. Okay, so good. Perfect. That's a synonym for head.

Yeah. Neck function. Yeah, it's like a head-only origin. She's got that crazy neck function. She doesn't have her headphones on. Ask her about the glasses thing. No, I'm not going to ask her about the glasses thing. No.

I'm not going to ask Kate if she's ever had cum on her glasses. That's uh no i'm not gonna ask about the glasses thing no i'm not gonna ask kate if she's ever had cum on her glasses that's disgusting steven and inappropriate just seriously yes hr violation she might answer in a second but it's still she thought it was a cataract for two weeks and realized i used to have a pair of little windshield wipers on them that I would. Yeah. Oh, man. All right. Well, oh, yeah.

So here's all of our new stuff. We got the Yak Tees. Those ones are awesome. Yak basketball. I love the purple color, the lilac. Yeah. Sweet. Pops.

Yep. Ooh. That's fresh. Pops. How's everyone's weekend? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You said two surprises. Oh, yeah. The other one's on its way. Okay. What's everyone's weekend? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You said two surprises. Oh, yeah. The other one's on its way. Okay. What's the first one? Pete's here. Pete's here. We're trying to get him to do the gauntlet. We need him to do the gauntlet.

I hope he's wearing his tearaway pants. Oh, buddy. Oh, I want. Come on. Also, a special shout out to Brandon Walker for being a complete douchebag asshole. Yesterday, he was belittling Bruce Pearl for crying during the SEC championship. Oh, yeah. Bruce Pearl came out afterwards and said he was thinking about his father

that passed away recently. Oh, Brandon. You don't make fun of somebody who just lost a father. No. Brandon. Yeah, you can't do that. It's uncouth. It's bad karma.

Did you see that article? Didn't read it, no. he just i never said he's an asshole for crying i said why is he crying and i said dad probably sounds like y'all found the answer so i just asked a question now the question you could never put yourself in his also was the entire yeah the entire company i work with was just assholes when my dad died. And then you doubled up when my stepdad died. Yeah, two negatives make a positive. Yeah. Don't forget your dogs.

Yeah, well, my dogs too. They're also pretty dead. My dogs, well, it was just one dog, but yeah. His dad died in August, though. My dad died in June. No, I'm saying, do you think that's too long of a time? All I'm saying is he's coached 30 games. Yesterday, I'm saying, do you think that's too long of a time? He's had, all I'm saying is he's had, he's coached 30 games. Yesterday

he cried. It is what it is. And you also asked the question as well, once I told you to ask the question. I did. How was everyone's weekend? First St. Patrick's Day in Chicago. It was mighty fun. Fun. Perfect weather. It was great. It was perfect. It was a zoo.

Yeah. Where did you go? was perfect. It was a zoo. Yeah. Where did you go? Did you get trapped on a boat? I was on the boat. We did the boat thing for the river dying with the TGI Fridays, which is a cheat code. What do you mean a cheat code? Completely open bar. Really?

Nobody was at TGI Fridays? I was there alone for a while, stalling, pretending like I was running errands before I met up with my crew. You were pretending like you were running errands at TGI Fridays? I was there alone for a while, stalling, pretending like I was running errands before I met up with my crew. You were pretending like you were running errands at TGI Fridays? No, somewhere else, but I was at TGI Fridays, ordered a drink. Your errands got you there. Instant service. You told them you were running errands, but you went to TGI Fridays. Right.

You told me that. No, I didn't. It was a short day. Crashed at two. That's a short day. Crashed it, too. That's a perfect day. Yeah, it was fun. No hangover the next day. Nick texted me and was like, I got a house party if you want to go to.

And I was with my kids at the time. It was right around the corner from Bird's Nest. Yeah, and I was thinking about it. I was like, how long could I keep my kids in the car without them freaking out? Go in celeb shot. 25 minutes with my phone. Yeah. Is bird's nest your kryptonite?

I feel like that's like the place in Chicago that pulls you back. Oh, it's the best. So you're 20. I love the, I love that singular. Yeah. That's the easiest way to get you out of the house.

It's just mentioned. Yeah. I was close. I was this close. I was, I, we went to Costco instead. That's just as fun. Yeah. Just as fun. Yeah. It was close. I was this close. We went to Costco instead. That's fine.

It's just as fun. Yeah. Just as fun. Yeah, it was a really fun day. I wore a shirt with the flag of India on it and nobody knew. None the wiser. I thought it was Iraq. Bunch of phonies.

That's badass. Yeah. People were just saying, happy St. Patrick's Day, and you're like, I'm Indian? Yeah. But you were with Maresh. Coincidence. When is the Maresh anus episode coming out? I think tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Tonight at midnight. Whatever you want to call it. Love that. I had a day. I thought I was taking less than a gram of shrooms. And I took three grams of shrooms. Oh.

So what's a standard dose? What's a microdose? Microdose would be like 0.5 to a gram. So you thought you were doing a regular- I thought I was just taking a little handful to keep me up, get the vibes up a little bit around three or four o'clock. Well, how did you find out you were wrong? I walked out of an Uber and got hit in the face by the wind and I looked around everyone

else. I was like, yo, the wind's crazy right now. It's like talking to me. And they were like, what the fuck are you talking about? Oh, no. And I'm just fully tripping at a crowded bar. Was anyone else with you tripping? My boy, Greg.

My boy. Oh, you said Greg. Yeah. Gregory? Me and Gregory were going through it in the back of Sully's Tavern for a little bit. That sounds like a fun day. And I just kept on going up and whispering to you,

why are you doing that, man? Yeah. No, don't be around nick on i know hallucinogen is the worst vibe i powered through i just got really fucked up and made it out the other side thank god you made it yeah did you flirt i got flirted on oh all right i got flirted a girl came up to me and she and she was like uh here's my list of potential baby names. And that was her icebreaker for me. No shit. That's not good.

That's a full-fledged pickup line on you? That's a bad icebreaker. It worked. Yeah, but like. Kind of terrifying. In your early 20s, mushrooms in a bar, St. Patrick's Day, Chicago. I don't think you want to be like, let's put out our life. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah, that feels a little. That would freak me out if I was on shrooms. No, whenever Mook's tripping, he's ready to settle life. That's true. Yeah, that feels a little... That would freak me out if I was on shrooms. No, whenever Mook's tripping, he's ready to settle down. That is true. At that point, I was looking for any comfort I could find, and I was like, oh, you're the one. That'd be great if you found your future wife in that setting,

because there's always saying, do your hobbies before you get married, so that way it's like a custom. If you golf, golf before you get married, so that way when you're married You can keep golfing If Mook just spends his entire life on shrooms Yeah Yeah

I'm on them right now The only way I can I can deal with you Is just being on shrooms the whole time Yeah We would have never met If it weren't for shrooms Yeah

I have to be questioning my existence At all times So what I do it anyway I ended up at Rick's Cabaret Oh yeah Late night What an establishment

Great place What is a cabaret? I think it was Some sort of gentleman's club I'm just a strip club guy now It's not full nude though It's not They put the little

Pasties on your nipples. On your nipples. You come in and you have to put them on. Could they just make pasties look like nipples? Could they just have pictures of nipples on pasties? Yeah. Why don't they? That's a genius idea.

Thanks man. We have to do the name wheel. We owe the name wheel. Thanks everyone for tuning in on Friday's episode I know some people don't love the pre-recorded stuff But it's why we have jobs And WWE 2K4 is awesome For letting us do a fun episode 2K24

I fucked that up Alright TJ you want to do the name wheel So we have no idea It might just be made up on the spot. I don't remember what's on mine at all. I don't either. Well. Okay.

That's not perfect. Oh, I hope I put Friendly's. Big Kaz would take us to Friendly's for ice cream sundaes. Can we add that? No free ads. It's your wheel. Ice cream sundaes? Yeah.

That can be added. Easy. Are Friendly's all gone? Probably. Friend can be added. Easy. Are friendlies all cone? Probably. Friendlies are on the way out, I think. You know, they do the ice cream with the cone on top, like the little hat. Do we have our wheel, or is it just a thing? I don't know.

We really are bad at remembering stuff. Yeah, we are. Really, really bad at remembering stuff. Not our strong suit. Is the king dead? She didn't have a wheel. What? Oh, you weren't here when we redid it.

Oh, you redid your wheels. Yeah. Okay, so Kate's ineligible right now, and then you have to create one. Okay, I will. All right, so spin again. That's fair. So she'll have one. She'll create one.

Yeah, we redid them, so it was only one name wheel, and then... Oh, no. Oh, no. FaceTime your aunt. Oh, no. I don't even have my aunt's phone number. I don't either. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Happy Monday. I got a whole Rolodex of them ready to go. Oh, no. I'm actually freaking out over this one. FaceTime your aunt. You must stay on FaceTime for two minutes.

Oh, here we go. Just one? No, it's... No. No. No. Oh! That game will give it. Oh! Yeah.

That's you. Yeah. Yeah. Great job, Moo. Good job, man. Tell her what you did this weekend. Tell her what you did this weekend. Yeah, tell her all about the mushrooms.

Oh, yes, Moo. Perfect. What the fuck? Oh, my God. Can we get a little background on which aunt you're calling here? Who are we dealing with? Or maybe tell us what you, you know, you could tell us which ones you're deciding between and we could decide.

Okay, so the one definitely doesn't have FaceTime, so I can't call her. So there's one option. It's my Aunt Pam. And we FaceTimed her on Anus one time. Yeah. Okay. She's a... Yeah.

I can get her going. Okay. It might turn political. I don't know what she's going to say. That's fine. For a second, maybe. Okay. Okay.

This sucks so bad. This is my Aunt Pam. She lives by herself with seven cats. Oh, hell yeah. Just let her know we're on air. And I'll let her know we are on air. Seven cats. Are you close with Aunt Pam?

I love Aunt Pam. When's her birthday? Okay. That was going to suck for me because I wonder what Aunt's birthday was yesterday and I did not text her. If she doesn't answer, we go to the next person, right?

Yes. No, why would you? She might be working. No, I have a good one. He has the next aunt. No, I think we just need to go until somebody's aunt answers. Why do you want to call your aunt so bad? I don't.

I'm just saying we got to give them something. I don't think she's going to answer. I literally have no way of doing this. Yeah. You got no aunts? I don't have iPhones or their number. Yeah. All right, well, maybe she'll call back.

Let's give a little wait period to call back. Okay. Actually, text her right now and say, call me emergency. No, I can't. Yeah, do that. Yeah, that's what it is. Call me emergency. Just say, it's what you've been dreading.

Yeah. Call me ASAP emergency. Please FaceTime.'s what you've been dreading. Yeah. Call me ASAP emergency. Please FaceTime. Oh, you are doing it. Good. Boy mook. Emergency. Oh, boy mook.

There we go. Good boy mook. Oh, I'm going to get in trouble for this. Good boy mook. Okay. It's not. Love you, Aunt Pam. Oh, man. I got a huge jug of piss in my car. What?, Aunt Pam. Oh, man.

I got a huge jug of piss in my car. What? Why? Yeah, I had to collect it for 24 hours over the weekend. Are you a dog? Wait, what? Now it's in my car. It's your piss, though, right?

It's my piss. I didn't know if this was some sort of scavenger hunt. No. TMI, maybe, but how does a woman go about- Good question. I think us fellas, if we had to piss in a cup it's a pretty straightforward process give you a little hat

in the toilet squat over some flat Tupperware that feels like the right way to do it a baking sheet yeah pour it on in I think the Tupperware would be the way to go Yeah. Yeah. Pour it on in. Yeah, I think the Tupperware would be the way to go.

What's going on out there? Something's going on out there. That's your voice, Big Cat. What? Why are we doing that? It's bracket busters. Why are they doing it? I'll make them stop immediately. I hate that.

In the control room. I feel like I'm tripping again. I can see it. Yeah. Whoa. Bracket Buster's coming out tomorrow. We taped it this morning. Only thing that I'll say is one team didn't show.

And they heard about it. And they heard. We heard about it. Yeah. Every year Bracket Buster's, there's one person who screws it up. Can we get them to stop, TJ? Yeah, Stephanie ran in. Oh.

Shout out to Stephanie. King's dead, I think. Wait. Yeah, I can't tell. What happened? The BBC changed their profile picture to black from light blue, and the royal family said there's an announcement today wait it could be about kate he died i don't know what time is he now a lot

of people think he's stepping down because of his sickness all right you're gonna fuck around and get me into the royal family i accidentally so his mom his mom lasted like 85 years he's gonna last like eight months 12 months what do you mean lasted? Oh, yeah, he just became. Oh, shit. He literally waited his whole life for his mom to die, and then he's just going to die? What a fucking idiot. I know.

What a moron. Why would he do that? That's tough. Just stay alive. But crazy timing, too, with the Kate stuff going on at the same time. Yeah, nobody knows what it is. At this point, I do believe all the conspiracies. Because where has she been?

She still hasn't shown herself yet. If he dies, who's next? William, right? Who's married to Kate. Married to Kate. Who might be dead. So if he dies, Kate becomes more important. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, wait. He dies. William becomes king? Yeah. There he is. There's my surprise. Oh!

Rone! Surprise number two's here. What's up, gang? I heard you guys needed a show of dick sucker. Hello. Heard you guys needed a cock sucker. We said cock sucker three times and you appeared. I appeared. Like red rum.

Good to see you guys Hey Roan Great show so far I've been listening on the way Thank you Did your aunt call back yet? Not yet no Must not be that big of an emergency

I texted her that She's a hood nurse She's a traveling nurse What? What? I don't think you can say that No you can say it She deals with some crazy shit

In like West Philly North Philly. She's a real one. Oh, I thought she was like a mechanic. Let's start calling mechanics that. You're a hood nurse. They would hate that.

What did you call Harry Potter's wand? What did I? Like a dweeb twig. Yeah, something like that. Great hats. Great hats, my gang. Thank you.

Beautiful yak hats. How's everything been? How's Patrick? He's good. I think you might see him. Yeah, he's on his way. Yeah, I think he's on his way here now. He should be here at like 1, 115-ish, I've heard, where it is.

I don't know. I hope he'll be good at it. I hope he doesn't embarrass himself. I hope Malasek doesn't give him the Tate treatment. Yeah. That was a stonewalling. Oh, yeah. He'll sell for Pat for sure.

I don't know. Look at the list. Looks like a 20s schoolhouse. Looks like a place Jerry Jones would hang outside So yeah you just hopped on a flight You found out that you were coming here Last night hopped on a flight And then I'm flying back tonight honestly

Doing a little bang bang Real quick one Kate how's the back? It's good Oh yeah That's not true that can't be true Caught the diagnosis Yeah I did

Severe osteoporosis I have the bones of a 70 year old woman Apparently Oh, yeah. That's not true. That can't be true. Caught the diagnosis? Yeah, I did. Severe osteoporosis? I have the bones of a 70-year-old woman, apparently. What? Swiss cheese. But there's a shot I can get once a month that might build my bones back. Oh. So that's exciting.

Shot of milk? I don't know what it's going to be. I wish, but. I'd like you to skip that one month and let us take take it and make your bones strong so wait you've been that'd be cool you've been pissing in the jar all weekend is there spine in your piss is that what little bits of spine yeah probably but i had to pee in a jug for 24 hours and it's like to the brim it's really it's really impressive i missed that part why did you have to pee in a jar i don't know i'm just saying yes to everything they're asking me to do right now what the fuck i was there on friday

and they're like we need you to do this this weekend i didn't even ask why i said sure and it was kind of a matter of pride to fill it what if they're framing you for a murder well maybe i don't know someone's piss yeah that's the perfect way at the dna that's how they're always doing it on svu. Yeah, just drizzle it everywhere. I have to walk it into the hospital after this. Spray bottle. Yeah, this person murdered a whole family, but also pissed. What the fuck? That's more savage.

Yeah. Damn, so does it still hurt? Or is it like, will it continue to hurt for like as long as, until your bones are fixed? Her back is broken. Yeah, I saw that. It's like broken in 18 places. But my fear is that it will keep breaking.

So like I did a funny movement this weekend and I was like, I think, I don't know. I think I broke another one, but I don't know. But we'll see, but it's fine.

I feel... It doesn't sound like it's fine. I feel like you're just being positive about it. No, I'm good. I went to the top of the John Hancock building this weekend.

I'm still moving. You walked up it? No. God, no. Fuck, no. So you didn't really move. I took an elevator this weekend. That's huge.

What's up there? They have that thing where the glass leans forward. I didn't do it. No, but I had family in town, and I watched them do it, and that was exciting. So what's new with you? Not shit, honestly. I missed St. Paddy's Day out here. It seemed like it was a blast.

It seemed like everybody was having a rowdy time. Everyone was getting crazy. I had a lot of FOMO, and I couldn't wait until today to get the, like, what did Nikki Smokes get into? What did this person get into? Nikki Smokes had a squish party that he invited the whole office to. Yeah. I appreciate that. Did that go down?

Yeah, he emailed the Barstool Chicago office being like, come to my Squishy. He's getting a little aggressive with the company-wide email. He loves it. Yeah. He sent out two this weekend. Oh, yeah. He's doing a bracket. Bracket.

He's going to scam all of us. It's starting to feel a little bit like his own blog. Sending us his thoughts. Yeah. Have you ever used it, Brandon? Would you ever? Company-wide email? Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. Who ate my used it, Brandon? Would you ever? Company-wide email? Yeah.

No, no, no. Yeah. Who ate my Chick-fil-A? That would be terrible. Well, in that circumstance, I might, but no. That might be my new addition to the name wheel. You have to send a company-wide email. Oh.

I want a day for a week. Yep. I mean, wait. Nikki Smokes did tweet out a picture. Oh, yeah. Great picture He had a great time Two girls at one time

Yeah that was incredible Paige and Caitlyn Wait what happened Oh he went to Dune 2 Yeah he said sup Brandon Scariest of sights Sup BFW Why'd he say sup to you you're not in that photo

No I'm not. I don't know why. They looked like they were happy. I'm sure it was a fun day of partying and frolicking and whatnot. Would he be the worst to date your sister? In this office? You guys should do one of those videos. He'd be bottom three.

Give us the three. Well, I mean, Mintz, obviously. Oh, yeah. What about him? So, Mintz, Nikki Smokes, and White Sox Day are probably the big three. Mintz was in Nashville all weekend. Yeah. Go ahead.

Oh. Is this? Mm-mm. You got duped? Well, I guess I did, too. That girl's beautiful. I don't care what y'all say. Was that a Francis with a filter or a real woman?

Say whatever you want with that girl. Me and Brandon thought it was a beautiful woman. And they were just like, did you see the girl that Mintz was with? She's beautiful. I don't care what y'all say. Was that a Francis with a filter or a real woman? Say whatever you want with that girl. Me and Brandon thought it was a beautiful woman. And they were just like, did you see the girl that Mintz was with? She's beautiful. Wait, what? And it was just Francis with the girl filter. Yeah. Oh. That's a beautiful... That ain't Francis. So obviously Francis.

Wait, that's Francis? Yeah. Seven feet tall. Couldn't be more obvious. Oh, but she's beautiful. Oh, those are nice packs, Francis. Mincy marrying a 6'5 girl? You were flustered. Damn, look at her. Oh, that's a problem.

Is there a titty filter? Like, is it an enhanced titty? Or is it just standard titty? No, it's only on Francis. I did think she was, you know, a little too muscular, but... So Mincy's had...

Oh, I'm getting a FaceTime. Oh, okay, here we go pam oh no come on mook tell her she's live hey pam oh hey carter how you doing i was at a patient's house and i was on the phone with the doctor's office so okay yeah you're you're live you're live on uh our show right now oh okay what do you want i just where are you at today where are the patients at oh i'm in west philly west philly they call it the bottom you know all right um ask what is the job what is today's job yeah what's today's job looking like how many patients do you have to see oh today i only saw five i mean i'm partially retired so i don't see a whole

lot yeah that's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot of patients before noon. You're out here grinding. Yeah, but tomorrow, I think I have a couple tomorrow, you know, so. Gotcha. Trump or Biden. You know the answer. Trump or Biden?

Oh, Trump. Yeah. Yep, facts. Do you want to talk to my friend Brandon? Oh, sure. Okay. Oh, nice. There you go. Can you pass that to him? Yeah. Yep, facts. Do you want to talk to my friend Brandon? Oh, sure. Okay. Oh, nice. There you go.

Can you pass that down? Yeah. Thank you. Sit down. Sit down. Hey, Pam. How are you? I'm good.

How are you doing, Brandon? I'm doing good. I noticed you're not looking at me. Are you driving? Oh, no. I'm sitting in my car. Oh, okay. Hey, that's my face.

Can you do something about are you a nurse yeah look at this look at this on my face it's breaking out what do you think about that oh are you a fair skin i don't i don't know that i'm fair skinned obviously yes oh yes i'm fair skinned thin skin kind of looks like it. I don't think it's rosacea, but... No, I think it's fungal. You think it's fungal? Yeah, bye.

Hey, I'm Pam. It's Dan. How many days in a row is too many days to have diarrhea? Oh, God. I'd have to say two days. Oh, no. Two? For 48 hours.

All right, what am I supposed to do after 48, 72, 100? Well, first off, you need to take something, maybe like Imodium or Lacto. Imodium. Okay. You move it to the counter, and you've got to drink lots of water because you're losing a lot of water.

Yeah, okay. You're losing potassium, too, so. Yeah. You've got to drink lots of water because you're losing a lot of water. Yeah, okay. You're losing potassium too, so you've got to eat some bananas. But you can stop it with rice, bananas, cheese. Okay, all right, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. Thank you. Thank you, Aunt Pam. Also, what do you think about Jalen Hurts?

Oh, oh, well, I like him. You know, but of course they lost, so I don't have much faith in the team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they lost Big Dom, that was kind of over. You know, they do this all the time. They get there, and then they blow it, so. Yeah, except when they didn't. All right, here's Kyle.

All right uh quick little kyle cameo hello hello and i'm gonna pass you off all right and pam thank you so much for answering i love you oh that's all right i love you too all right have a good day stay safe you too bye-bye bye what a pleasant woman i love him she's. She's so nice. I love her voice. I like your voice. She sounded like a family guy character. She has like a life wife. Like a breathless wife. Joe Swanson's wife. Bonnie?

Yeah. It's kind of sexy. A Philly Bonnie. It was. I mean, she's single. Okay. She has seven cats? Yeah, seven.

Kyle? Making an eight. Oh. Whoa. That was damn good hey now yeah she's constantly scooping up cats and during her day so fully a cat lady fully a cat oh yeah she's out there a lot she probably sees a lot of straight she sees a lot of strays take some in and then she can't let him go my mom does that yeah she strikes me as the type of woman who refers to wine by the brand name instead of the grape varietal. Oh, yeah.

Like, I need a bottle of Sutter Home. Exactly. Instead of Pinot Grigio. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do it. Is she a sipper? Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, she sips. Of course. Yeah. But she said, like, it's a- I need a box of Frangie. Yeah. There's always a box at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, whenever she comes like a box of frangie there's always a box at thanksgiving christmas easter

whenever she comes a box i respect it oh shout out to aunt pam uh by the way draft kings the thrill and excitement of march mania is here draft king sportsbook one of america's top rated sportsbook apps is giving new customers a shot to turn five bucks into 150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. North Carolina listeners, don't forget DraftKings Sportsbook is now live in your state. So download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Use code YAK. New customers can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook

with code YAK. The crown is yours. It's March, baby. The best. Best time of year. They did you guys dirty, though. They did you and PFT extremely dirty. Torture bracket.

I... It is narcissistic of me, but I do think there's someone on the committee who was like, fuck them. You think? Because Duke right after, too? It's crazy. Or Vermont.

Or Vermont. Which would be the worst, because Jake Barsh would be like, I'm rooting for you. Oh, it was a three-way. Four. Four. Hank's a Duke fan. Oh, he is? Yeah. Oh, that's right. This is where I believe in the script. Yeah.

All four of our teams are right there. Yeah. It's bullshit. They did it on purpose. BFT's going to be at the game, though, because he's got a wedding in New York on Friday. Oh, perfect. Perfect. Yeah. He's going to is going to be at the game though because he's got a wedding in new york on friday oh perfect so perfect yeah he's gonna go go to the game maybe i'll join him yeah at the wedding you'll root for big 10 though right of course big 10 till i die yes gonna carry the flag how much bragging rights is this worth in the PMT universe like is this something you envision if uh PFT and his James Madison Dukes win that he will be bringing up for years and years and years

I don't know I I'm gonna lose lose as a five seed in a favorite yeah like if Wisconsin wins that's true it'd be like oh they should have won and if they lose like oh my god how do they lose so I think I'm like I i'm not gonna bring it up because yeah i'm i'm fucked i'm fucked there's nothing that can commanders commanders bears playoff game would take precedence oh yeah definitely but what else like what other scenario i guess i guess you stop or if they played football if they played jmu and yeah or like if one of the teams like if wisconsin was like a two seed and like realistically could go to the Final Four,

then it would be devastating. Is there something to be said that you'd rather lose to him? Like one of you guys has to... Yeah, probably. Losing to Duke is definitely the most pain. Yeah, that would be nasty. Just get it out of the way. Yeah.

Or at least there's a silver lining. I'm worried. I'm worried. And they reeled me back in to Big Ten tournament. Fully reeled back in. Was living and dying with every possession. So it's just, it always works this way. Whenever I can, whenever I feel like there's a moment where I can remove myself from sports

fandom and be like, I'm not going to let this bother me. Oh no. Like, no, no, no, no. We got you. Oh no, no. We're fucking pulling you to the deep end not going to let this bother me. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. We got you. Oh, no, no. We're fucking pulling you to the deep end and going to drown you. So, yeah.

I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. It's the best. It's going to be like a drowning. It's the best. We're all miserable. Yeah. Nothing ever good happens.

Brandon's in the tournament finally. I am. Happy for you, Brandon. First tournament game on Thursday. First game of the tournament, I am. Happy for you, Brandon. First tournament game on Thursday. First game of the tournament, I mean. That's a scary thing. Yeah, I don't know if I love that, but let's get it over with early. If Michigan State jumps out to a huge lead,

you're kind of like, we weren't really even in the tournament. Well, no, wait. No, no, no. We're not doing that. It's like 10-0 to start. We're in the tournament. You never remember the first game eliminated. You're like, oh, were they?

We're in the tournament. If it's one of those deals by halftime, we're trying to figure out when the next game's starting because it's such a blowout. Yeah. I don't think we're even going to really remember. You know who the first team eliminated was last year? Virginia.

I remember it very well. Oh, he's right. Wow. Well, something severe happened. Was it Virginia? I thought Maryland-West Virginia was the first game. Yeah, you're wrong. So you're wrong.

No, it was Furman-Virginia. No, Maryland-West Virginia. They were at the same time, but that one tipped off about 30 minutes later. I think Furman-Virginia was first. So it sounds like nobody really remembers. I remember. Let me see. I remember tremendously, and it might have been West Virginia.

You're right. Are you guys watching it from here? Are you streaming it all from here or going somewhere? We're streaming. We're going to Chili's or something? Thursday, I think, from the DraftKings Sportsbook, and then the rest of the weekend here. Nice.

That place is sick. Yeah. 2023 tournament. That doesn't matter. Not really a thing we need to look up. That is the best gambling day of the year, I think. Those two days. Yeah.

I just love it so much. Even the first one, just like the anticipation. West Virginia, Maryland tipped off so pete's gonna do the gauntlet oh that's crazy yeah west virginia maryland tipped off first which do you think you'll have the most trouble with west virginia maryland tipped off first yeah so i forgot i'll be honest i forgot both of them were even in the tournament last year we'll have to move the weight bench we could do that because I was working out in front of the soccer net this morning. I don't know if Pete will

actually do it. He's such a piece of shit that I feel like he won't. Give me a reason he wouldn't do it. What reason can he come up with if he wouldn't do it? Cam Newton did it. Is he better than Cam Newton? In his mind, yeah. Yeah, probably. He might not be in the right apparel. He might be all gussied up. No, but he

can unzip. He's got shorts on. Yeah, he can get going in a in the right apparel. He might be all gussied up. No, but he can unzip. He's got shorts on. Yeah, he can get going in a second. Is he athletic at all? No. I wouldn't imagine. I hope not. We'll find out, hopefully.

I want Malasek to just eat his lunch. Has Malasek ever done it? Oh. Oh, yeah, I think he did early. He did? I think he did. Who played goal for him? Who kept for him?

Connor Griffin, maybe? Me or Big Cat? I think it was Big Cat. I'm so bad, yeah, I think he did early. He did? I think he did. Who played goal for him? Who kept for him? Connor Griffin, maybe? Me or Big Cat? I think it was Big Cat. I'm so bad, yeah. There's a lot of behind-the-scenes people looking for their chance. CJ, have you done it? I have done it once. I had the worst soccer time.

Me and Jake wrestled on the ground for 60 seconds. Oh, yeah. I really want Pete to do it. I still want to see if we can beat your record with a full team. Everyone doing one, yeah. Somebody's going to beat his record one day. Yeah, and it's going to be when he's not here. Yeah.

We're doing that. I'm going to be so upset. So upset. Next time you're out, we're just going to take the whole day. Just the full day. Over and over and over until someone gets it. Wait, so one question. We got interrupted with Aunt Pam.

Did they, like, report the queen, the king's dead? Mm-mm. They said there's something coming? Well, how does everyone know that it's high alert? All of Twitter is, especially England Twitter, is like, he's for sure dead. I heard the scuttlebutt from my friend who works at the palace, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there are creeps like this where they'll keep a guy dead for a while. For a while.

Without telling anyone? Yeah. Big time. He's probably, yeah, he could be dead for like two days just laying in his bed. And they're all like giving him kisses and shit. And like sucking his little sausage fingers. One final suck off. Sucking his fingers.

Yeah, those little sausage fingers. I can see British people doing that. It's like a ritual. Who's next up then if he dies William oh really he's how old

Bill William he's gotta be 40 that's a great time to get it yeah he's gonna have a good run

about 30 years possibly probably more what if Princess Diana's not dead whoa and she comes back that would be cool but could she take it though

no no that announcement she's not actually dead oh that would back. That would be cool. Could she take it, though? No. No, that would be the announcement. She's not actually dead. That would be incredible. That would be. I think at that point, she takes it. I mean, if you... I would love a boy king.

That might be the best. Oh, a little boy king. A little boy king. Ptolemy. Don't they have a word for that? Isn't it a dauphine? Oh, I don't know. Dolphin.

That's a Harrisburg county. Dolphin. That's a Harrisburg County. Dolphin. It's Dolphin County. What's D-A-U-P-H-I-N? That's the Harrisburg County. There is a county. It could be named after that. This is going to be a big test of my brain.

This would be incredible. After five days. Yeah, that could make sense. Dolphine. The eldest son. Oh, okay. I was close. I was close.

Why was that in there? I don't know. What the fuck? I Oh, okay. I was close. I was close. Very specific. Why was that in there? I don't know. What the fuck? Get that out of your head. Get the fuck out of your head. Dolphine. How is that a word?

Why do we need a word for the eldest son? I knew it. Wait a minute. Big casual. I fucking knew that. Wait, get it out of there. That weirded me out. You've been watching too much sports for that to be in there.

I don't know where that came from. I got no fucking idea. Wait, so it's just one person? Nick, what did you say? Gussied up? What is that? That means to get yourself all done up. Dressed up.

That's an Oklahoma word. Where the fuck did that word come from? Southern. Do up your gussy. Dauphine. Buckingham Palace denies that King Charles is dead. That's exactly what they always say. That's what they would say.

And Kate was spotted on a farm. Oh, that's what you say about your dead dog. How come she's just... That's exactly what they always say. That's what they would say. And Kate was spotted on a farm. Oh, that's what you say about your dead dog. How come she's just... I mean, if she's alive, just parade her out somewhere. Spotted on a farm? Is she a fucking cow? Got her ass. Dumb bitch.

Spotted on a farm that's damn good Kyle did you displace Stephen Che's shoulder oh um Stephen I mean I would ask you about it but I feel like that's condescending if I kept

checking in like hey I beat you he is actually hurt I'll say this because I did come up to him and I slapped him on the shoulder, and he was like ow wait that's That's the story you have to back him up you came up with slapped him on his hurt shoulder Yeah, he didn't know I was like I came up, and I intentionally was like what's up, buddy He's like ah I also had to check No, I caught him taking the elevator today instead of the stairs because of of the shoulder? Because of the shoulder. You took the elevator? Don't act like you're fat ass hasn't taken that elevator before.

Fuck you. Bang. Give me a time out. Give me a time out. Bang. Can I take a time out? Can I take a time out? Give me a time out.

Bang. Give me a 30. Give me a 30. Give me a 30. Jake, can I talk to you? What's up? How come your answers to me are always so much more violent than your answers to everybody else? You're coming at me.

The joke was I take the elevator. Oh, okay. Why are you so angry? That was hilarious. Oh, Jay, didn't break your funny bone. You've been hilarious since the incident. He roasted your ass. All right, what were you going to ask him?

That was it. That was it? Yeah. Fat ass. Okay. You take the elevator, too. Every day. Every day.

And down. I do, too. It's very pathetic. I feel stupid every time I do it. Every time. It's so easy. It takes so much longer. But Kyle, you just placed his shoulder?

Looks like. What is, do you have an official report? Not from a Twitter doctor. I talked to a pro football doc this weekend. But no, I haven't gone to a real doctor. I will say it's pretty confirmed not broken. I can lift my arm up, but it is extremely painful in certain settings, like getting out of bed, getting into bed, getting in and out of the car.

But Jerry said he had the same thing. The worst is actually if I sneeze. If I sneeze, it feels like I'm being kicked in the chest. That sounds gross. Why did you do that to him? Are you a hardo? I am. That was, yeah.

What the fuck was that it was too far yeah i think none of us thought it was gonna you know result in that i had a feeling he is way better than you yeah i also it's a perfect person to have it happen to and perfect person to do it yeah and anyone like anyone else would i'd complain like a bitch. And Steven's taking it. He is taking it well. Yeah. Do you regret it? Oh, absolutely.

It was an illegal move. But I thought that was the point of the wrestling, to pick the other guy up. Well, yeah, I guess we never started an official collegiate wrestling match. Of course not. Oh, I saw some screenshots. Penn State minus 300 for the wrestling tournament. I mean, if you can snag that, that's your oh that's free money put your life savings on it whoa they have like six like whatever the line is they will 100 win not 99 100 how many classes are there what how many weight

classes and and how many do they have the first or second best guy in it? Gotta be... Like six? Six or seven, yeah. It's probably six. Yeah, we're stacked. I don't know what the line is now, but I would slam money on that. Take the 300? It's probably not 300 anymore. Oh, yeah, it's like Matt Madness now, right? They do that?

Yeah, the tournament's March Madness, yeah. March Madness. Mm-hmm. Yeah. do that well yeah the tournaments march madness yeah march madness yeah also nick are you going to uh zb on wednesday oh i don't know i was considering going up there oh fuck i wanted to oh yeah i texted you about it though we're gonna go see zach bryan oh where is he playing wisconsin wisconsin wait on this wednesday yeah you're going to fly back home and then fly back? No, I don't know. I got something else that I can't talk about on Wednesday that is preventing me. I know what it is.

Nick knows what it is. What is it? It's a surprise. Well, you can't talk about it, but Nick can. No, well, it would just be a – we could talk about it. We could all walk over there and talk about it, but it's a surprise that would affect somebody that, well, I don't know. Let's walk over there and talk about it.

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We can just walk over there and tell each other secrets? Yeah. I mean, I could tell anybody else, but I would just prefer that it not go. Yeah, no, I knew the surprise, and it's good for it to be a surprise. Yeah, it's better for it to be a surprise. I could tell you, though, Brandon, it's not a surprise for you if you want to go take a walk. You don't want to, though. I kind of do.

Go take a walk. Go take a walk. I'm excited for the surprise. I just want the secret. Yeah, go take take a walk go take a walk i'm excited for the surprise i just want the secret yeah go take a walk go take a walk hey jay look i'm walking fat ass jay owns brandon it is a very funny i know like we have full ownership i like brandon let's see brand Brandon's face when he gets the secret. Okay. He's telling them.

I wish I had secrets to share. Okay, you got it? Open fucking book. Do we all get to find out Wednesday? Yes. Okay, okay, I can wait. Do you have Ninja Turtles on your row back? That's fucking awesome I want one of those It's a rowback

It ain't a rowback They wouldn't do that I want a rowback to do it Mark you bring your Pooch in I did yeah Great dad I said how far do you think Purdue will make it?

Oh, you did? You baited him? Did he talk for two hours? You know what? Zach Eadie is gutlessly skill-less. I was like, yeah, that's what I wanted. Gutlessly skill-less. My dad is the number one Purdue hater.

Has no fundamental skills. Yeah. Most snooze-fest team in the world. I was like, hell yeah. I didn't even think about that when I introduced you to him. You guys are pretty awesome. Yeah. New haters.

Wait, who did he, Moses, have winning dog? He took North Carolina over Kansas. Wow. So actually not that crazy this year. Who was? It's very plausible. Wore him out. That was my dog.

Yeah, he's 13. That's a good soul dog. I didn't know that was your dad. Yeah. The guy in Indiana Wearing shorts by the way Proudly wearing shorts It's like 30 degrees outside

He's got shorts on I saw him walking around saying He was his wife's boyfriend Yeah Oh that rules That's cool Yeah That's a good one

My dad does the When he introduces my mom Says this is my first wife That's good Yeah that's My dad does the, when he introduces my mom, he says, this is my first wife. That's good. Yeah, that's good. It is. It's good. Yeah.

Gives you a little like, what? That's what my dad did, too, after the divorce. No. Yeah. Before his divorce. What's he say now? Brains. No.

He's having a cup of tea with King Charles right now. My Aunt Pam dates her cats so yeah yeah that's sweet i called your dad is it okay that i said i was like hey coach titus no he loves it yeah yeah yeah yeah because at first i walked in i was like who is that man's like oh no he loves that yeah and he wants to he wants to coach you yeah i'm ready one of his missions today he was like i he's like well i have loves that yeah and he wants to he wants to coach you yeah i'm ready one of his missions today he was like i he's like well i have time to i wish you told me i would have done it he said he watched the free throw stream and you were by far the most frustrating not because you were bad but because you have promise and he's like i watch him shoot and he should be better he's got good mechanics he just why does he miss so much i could yeah he goes i swear i could fix

that nice wide base all right so we'll, I want to do it. We should make a video. Have him coach me up. That's my, I brought my dad through the office on Friday or Thursday afternoon. And you know what he said about you, Brandon? What? After we got in the car, he said, whoa, Brandon Walker's a lot bigger in person than I thought he was going to be. Probably takes the elevator.

Yeah, probably takes the elevator. He just meant in stature. Do you have, like, a rivalry with my dad? Yeah. What's the situation there? It feels like the two of you. There's a tension there. You've met, like, three times, and every time I'm kind of uncomfortable.

Yeah. Well, he got sassy with me first, and then we never really got over the sass. Does he feel like you're trying to be his father figure now? No, well, I'm not that. I'm only like a year older than Titus. Because he hit you with a joke when he first met you. You're significantly older than Titus. I'm just bare with it.

Significance is a big one. You and his dad are in the same ballpark, though, right? No, I'm significantly way younger than him. It's like a Ronan-Sass combo. Yeah. No, no, no. You and Titus? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're about 18 years older than him. We're teeny years. yeah yeah it's a small gap yeah i would say it'd be weird if you guys dated kyle yeah oh it would be illegal yeah it would be if you dated a woman my age you would be thrown in prison i i would be expected to be under the jail if i got on the market right now people would expect that I would go for someone. What the fuck? Well, the only reason I get on it is to trade in my wife for a younger model. Yeah, I would never do it, but I would be expected to go like five years younger. And you got to give the people what they want.

Expecting this. Sorry, babe. He's been clamoring for Brandon to date at 20. Babe, we got to get divorced. That would be the expectation from the greater world at large. Chad, W. He's been clamoring for Brandon to date a 23-year-old. Babe, we gotta get divorced. That would be the expectation from the greater world at large. Chat, WRL on this young He didn't get divorced to go up.

He got divorced to go down a little bit. Do you think you could get a 26-year-old girlfriend? He's not 26. He just turned 27. No, I think my range would be that 35 to 38 range. You've really thought about this, you creep.

Yeah. No, I'm just saying. Very specific. I'm going to be 45 in less than a month. You can get you a 27-year-old. Definitely. That's 18 years. I think it also depends if it's divorce or death.

Why did you do the math so fast? That was quick. And it was 18. That was readily available. We've done 18-year-old math before. What's your strategy if you get divorced today? If I get divorced today, I need to spend about six months to a year getting into shape.

You're not going to try to win her back? Who? I'd write her a letter every day. Did you eat the pie? Yeah. You ate my wife's pie? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was, I would, I'd be fine.

I think if I got divorced, I'd just become a high-end prostitute guy for the rest of my life. Yeah. Oh, Catherine Taylor. Yeah, just no effort. Just be like, I don't really want, like, I just want to watch my sports. That's almost like, as a woman, I would rather have my ex-husband do that. Yeah, that would be my answer. You, like, Dave, my wife.

Soulless fucking for the rest of his life. In Japan, even if you're married, that's still kosher. Oh. Like, I'd rather you just can go ahead and have sex with a prostitute type of thing, just as long as it's not emotional. Fat gentleman has a question. So, Arsene. Is that so funny? just as long as it's not emotional. Fat gentleman has a question. So I said. Why is that so funny?

I said, hypothetically, if I get divorced, I'll go four to five years younger, and there were just yelps and yells. First of all, I'm not four to five years younger. He's going to pay for pussy the rest of his life. Everything's fine. That's honesty. He's never going to love again.

That's what I'm saying. That's fucking beautiful love again also you're fudging the math like i'm not four or five years younger than you that's what started the whole thing so it's yeah there's there's the deceit angle i'm 44 you're 38 right no i'm not 36 38 36 or the same thing unbelievable all right so kyle knew that came right to your aid same thing. Unbelievable. Also, Kyle knew that. Came right to your aid. Kyle knew that off the dome. I had to think about it for a second. Kyle, do you know everyone's ages and birthdays?

I don't know a lot about celebs, but I feel like I'm pretty... No, no, ours. Oh, ours. Do you know our ages? Yeah. Go around. uh ron you are 35 nick's 31 brandon's 44 you are 39 31 27 36 and 22 yep 37 yes yeah and what about Che? Che is 36. TJ? Oh, you're 37. You're 38? That's a thumbs up?

Oh, Che. Wow. Damn, Che. How did you make it 38 years? I think he looks damn good. I might beat the shit out of him. He looks incredible. He looks so good.

I think Che could beat you up right now. I think I might beat the shit out of him. With a bum shoulder. No, I have the advantage now. He doesn't have range of motion. He could just run away from you. And run upstairs. We've seen him run, too. He can't run either.

He'll just run upstairs. That's come down. Yeah. He'll just run upstairs. He'll take the elevator and run downstairs. He's packing forth. He'll never get them. I feel like women dating much younger men is now all the rage.

Yeah. That's Kissing Cavalieri and the Montana Boys. Yeah. The Montana Boys? The Montana Boys. I know. And I know exactly who the Montana Boys are. Yeah, the Montana Boys.

They're a big band. They just do one song. They have a song? I didn't know they had a song. No, no, no. They just lip sync one song. They're TikTok hot guys. They're the hottest guys.

And they order them in order of hotness. No, they shuffle it sometimes. It's a nesting doll of hunk. Oh, do they? They shuffle it. But that, I mean, the most famous video, it ends on the hottest one. And that's who Cavalera's dating. The hottest Montana boy?

When she launched, she hard launched her relationship last week. And I was like, damn, this guy's hot. Yeah, he's a Montana boy. No, he's the hottest guy. He's the hottest guy. Right. This guy, that's the worst Montana boy. They just do the same song. That's my least favorite Montana boy.

Tiny ass head. That's him. Oh. Damn. And there's Chris. That's so weird. Dude, the first Montana boy is hanging on for dear life in the Montana boys. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Him? Yeah. I think him. And every song's this they do the same song every time but they still don't quite know it but what's their thing just doing this yeah montana boys there's a video of them throwing a slushy at a truck that has a ton of views that rules yeah it was pretty sick no it's i'm walking out of a gas station i think oh

my god and i i know like oh look at these mont these Montana boys. The one that Kristen's dating played, like, six years of college football at, like, low-level college football. Yeah. And I just would love to be a fly on the wall when he meets Jay. And Jay's like, he'd probably be like, oh, I played football. I don't think he's meeting Jay. If they last. Which they will because he's so fucking hot.

Yeah. When was the last time a guy this hot dropped? Was it Tyler Cameron? When it had the world in a chokehold. No, it is. You're right. You're saying Montana Boy is 1A in the world? Yes. He's not ever Butler. No, no, no.

What Roan's saying, and I agree with him, is we don't get just hot guys dropping. This is a guy I didn't know about, now I know about. He did drop. Right. But to be that hot and just be a Montana boy is a real fuck up. And he's got the perfect tattoos. The perfect tattoos.

I will say the cowboy hat on. All right. Yeah. What the? I'm a Montana boy fan. What can I say? I mean, I literally was shocked when she launched it, and then I clicked on his profile, and I was like, God damn it.

How old is he? He's like 23, 24. Oh, God. They got to be in Nashville or something where being a Montana boy has a little bit more cachet. Are they not in Montana? I think they've- What is this locker room?

I think he played- The caption is, we're both 6'2". I think he- Oh. This is every five- Why was that the caption? We're both 6'2". That's every 5' five eight guys nightmare watching that

this was a big one wasn't it oh look at the montana boys just hang out in their truck that's what they do oh there we go yeah montana tech i think he played at the fuck it's like last chance you for hot but he was he was a wide out, though, where he was maybe a tight end or something. Look at them jeans. Those are starchy as all hell. Montana jeans. Some of those boys are going to get cut from the group. So all they do is just be hot?

Yeah. Yep. They just be hot. When and while all the guys pop off How What TikTok I think Just

Recently I got pretty deep Into the war There's been like a thing For a while He always goes last On TikTok I don't know

They're pretty new Good jumbotron From Montana Tech They've been catching buzz For a couple months And Kristen Has been on it For a while

Has she Yeah Why does two Remind me of Tim Riggins? Yeah. Big Cat, you could never get in. I'm sorry, man. Perfect tattoo. It would be funny, though, if I was just background shirtless.

Like, no, put your shirt back on. Or diggers. Or diggers. Or diggers. Whoa. Montana Tech. There's too many. They're way too hot for that school.

Yeah, let's see the rest of it. Do all the boys look like that? I don't think they do. I think they live in Nashville. I think they're relocated. Montana Tech. What's his name? Who cares? Montana Boy 3.

Yeah. I'm the last Montana Boy. Do they have an accent like that in Montana? I don't think so. I think it's like a gritty Canadian. What conference is this? I don't think he's on the team anymore. Do you think other Montana boys want to beat those Oh no that's him Mark Estes

That's his name Mark Oh Yup Is that him? I mean he's very handsome 6-1 Uh oh

Uh oh Yikes 6-1 Kind of a pussy Got a long neck 245 yards I didn't mean that If Mark wants to be friends

Gotta get him in here He would be the one Who would break the yak Although no I bet you he sucks at basketball That would rule To watch him try to Hit a basketball shot

How are you not on Jay Cutler's side? Yeah I am Okay Montana boys Are hot You get it.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, like, fuck him. Yeah. How old is she? Like, fuck him. Yeah, but also you would. Yeah, right.

Perfect tattoos. Right. Perfect tattoos. Fuck a perp. I mean, they are perfect. Yeah. What does he have? Like, tiny little tattoos smattered all over the place?

No, he's got, like, the perfect sleeve and then maybe one on the chest. Thanks, bro. Does he have, like, a half swastika on his leg or something? He's got a... N-A-I-A Frontier Conference. That's a badass conference. God damn it. I hate this guy.

You just can't quit him. I need to stop talking. I wonder if he could ride a steer. I bet. I wonder how long he could go on a horse named Fu Manchu. I think as an older mom, too, I can see me dating that Montana boy

and him being great at the playground with the kids. He could be so much fun. No, he'd be pissed. He'd be too competitive. Yeah, I'm not seeing this dream, Kate. You can't date the Montana boy. I could see him being great with the kids, but being a cheater. Well, but is it cheating if you're that hot? Probably not.

No. Because it's like they're just throwing themselves at you. Like a Roman emperor type of thing. Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it. Yeah. Just go and have sex. You don't have to actually attempt to cheat if you're a hot guy. Yeah.

It just happens to you. All right, first one of us to touch a Montana boy wins. Deal. Done. This will go as long as it needs to go until one of us touch. Did you just get on the phones, Nick? Who are you texting? Hey, man.

I'm glad this came up. I know one of the Montana boys. I want to see the Crazy Boys collab with the Montana boys. Who are the Crazy Boys? The Crazy Boys? Weren't Crazy Boys? The Crazy Boys? Weren't they the... The Island Boys? No, that's the little boys in the backyard.

The little boys in the backyard who do trick shots. Crazy Neighbor, yeah. I want to see Montana Boys. The backboard is blown out. The two hottest boys that have dropped this year. Brandon, what's Tommy been into? The Crazy Boys are the best. They're maturing.

Yeah, they are. They're getting older. They mixed in a Bible verse of the week now. Oh, shit. Let's hear it. I could use a little. Followed by Barstool Pat. So wish him a happy birthday in the comments.

Happy birthday, Crazy Dad. All right, good morning, thanks for the birthday wishes The verse of the week Is Galatians chapter 2 Verse 20 I'm just waiting for someone to dunk on That would rule, right? Right now Slipped a little mini hoop behind him

And just dunked on him in the middle of his Dunking on pastors is a good idea yeah we should start doing that crazy sister crazy cousin crazy treyway crazy hakeem are you guys hip with the the costco father and son oh yeah no they're just now i hate them to hate them, to be honest. Can I see them? All I saw was they did that typical video, we're Costco guys, of course, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I would love to hate them, too. I'd like to see these guys. I'm a Costco guy. Costco rules. Costco does rule.

We're Costco guys. Of course we go shopping while eating a chicken bake. Thank you, Mark. We're Costco guys. Of course we have to try the new double-chunk chocolate cookie. I like them. I know you. I knew you would love them. We're Costco guys. Of course we have to try the new double-chunk chocolate cookie. I like them. I knew you would love them. This is good father-son shit.

We're Costco guys. Of course we work out with the tires. Yeah, who doesn't? We're Costco guys. What the heck is this thing? That's an alligator. The pool play toy. We get every TV in the place every time we come in.

We're Costco guys. Of course we get the sample even though we bought the thing the last three times we were here. What? We're Costco guys. Of course we cool off in the milk fridge. What? We're Costco guys. I'm still eating my chicken bake.

Nah, something sinister is going on. That kid looks a little dead behind the eyes. There's also another kid that only shows up sometimes. Like a child of his? Yeah. He's divorced, right? God, it has to be. We're Costco guys.

Let's see how many swishmallows I can pick up at one time. Yeah. One, two, three, four, five. Oh. That's it? We're Costco guys. Of course I gotta try, four, five. That's it? Of course I got to try out the office chair. Yep. Always do that.

This thing's good. I like them. AJ and Big Justice. Big Justice. Oh, no. Wait, which one's which? Yeah, which one's Big Justice? What oh no wait which one's which one's Big Justice which one's

what would be more embarrassing for the dad Big Justice I want to know who Big Justice is is that kid aging before our eyes he looks older

in one of the yeah oh man very divorced yes that big divorce energy. Wait, go to the one where he's in his uniform.

We're ordering one of everything at the Costco food court, and we're going to give it a boom or a doom. Spoiler alert, everything's a boom. I've never seen boom or doom. This is the chicken bake. There's something about the eyeballs there, right? They don't blink. Yeah.

Boom! This is the quarter pound hot dog. Boom! Yeah. And here's the pepperoni pizza. Surprisingly really good. Another boom! He's like staring into my soul.

I hate this. This is the turkey and Swiss sandwich. That doesn't look good. I'm kind of on the fence about this, so I'll give it a BOOM. This is the strawberry ice cream. BOOM! This is the vanilla ice cream. Who that?

What? Guys, come on. What the fuck? We're not getting no luck. That was just a random boy. They gave him one thing. What do we got? Vanilla?

Vanilla ice cream. It's a double chunk chocolate cookie. Why is he yelling at him? That's a ba-ba-ba-boom. Oh. He loves it. Oh, that kid again. More booms than dooms.

More booms than dooms. Oh, God. Is he a friend or another brother? Something off. Maybe he has just friends at Costco Yeah and he's like okay you can be vanilla Yeah I think the staff is like

Here they come again The Costco guys I hate them so much I think I like them I don't know something about them The non blinking thing That's what you like? Yeah. Yeah, they're creepy. You're filled with love today, man.

Yeah, I am. You can hate with us. I hate Marquesas so much. Look at his beautiful tattoos. Perfect tattoos. Incredible pecs. Perfect tattoos. Perfect tattoos.

The fuck do you want me to say? What do you think he benches? For reps. No, he probably does band workouts. He doesn't even have to bench anymore. Yeah, he does. He's got muscles for life. He doesn't even lay down to work out.

Fuck. Francis as a girl was objectively hot. No. Oh. Hot guy becomes hot girl. Mincy. Oh. Two things. The one, the tweet that mincy only mincy could do where he tweeted say what you will about francis but he's a good comedian his comedy almost

had me in tears yeah incredible there's nothing positive nothing that was mean it was a mean oh shit and then two mincy went to Francis' comedy show On Friday night Tweeted how hilarious it was Francis said that Someone was sitting next to him And said that Mincy Was just on his phone

The entire time Yeah And then Saturday Asked for tickets again And Francis was like What's his angle I was like he's going Because he wants to be recognized

Yes Yeah Oh man It's like when we were in Remember when we were in New Orleans for the Final Four, and there was a We Want Mincy chant, and then someone told me afterwards that Mincy started it. I actually wasn't there.

Oh, you weren't there. Yeah, he started a We Want Mincy chant from the back of the room. Yikes. So he was using Francis? I think so To just pick up fans Hey I like this picture from the Barstool Bar

All the women Oh yeah Back of the women Showing the band That was damn good Great See that picture? Maybe Mark Estes was there

You know there's a picture of you guys At the Chicago airport next to the Nuts on Clark. Is it the Pope? It's like a compilation. There is the Pope. Oh, right! Send it to TJ.

Oh, damn. That's huge, Titus. We're in the airport. Is it like a bedroom collage or what? It's kind of like a bedroom collage. That is going to be impossible to explain. Any friends I have flying through. Stopping Nuts on Clark.

Did I see your face in a Pope costume cutting a ribbon for Nuts on Clark? Nah, man. That wasn't me. Those two days aligned. As seen on Barstool Sports, and then there's three tweets. Nuts on Clark, Popcorn Day, then the zoom in of Big Cat with the Nuts on Clark gang, and then you and a poke up.

Yes. That's awesome. I just sent it to... That's incredible. With a Cliff DeMartino retweet. Ciao, Cliffy D. By the way, Cliff, I hope he wins. For anyone who wants to join the Stella Blue Bracket,

all you got to do is buy anything at StellaBlueCoffee.com until Thursday, and we'll send you a link to the bracket. First prize gets a Chicago office visit with two friends. So whoever wins is probably going to be on. Oh, my God. Look at that. Look at that. Oh, man.

It's in the airport. Like how I cropped up. Like I just randomly came across it. It's like right next to the door where you pick up Ubers in the Delta Terminal. That's incredible. That's great. I've shopped at that exact Nuts on Clark before.

I got the chocolate-covered almonds or something like that. Sublime. They kind of didn't get the sizing right. No, but it's still sweet. Even the font of Barstool Sports. I mean, Nick, you're the premier fontsman of our band. They did. They double-stroked with an outer glow of red.

Ooh, it's nice. Really nice. Has seen on. You've made it. Oh, it's nice. Really nice. Has seen on. We've made it. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. We're in the airport. I enjoy that.

It's beautiful. I was just telling strangers, like, I know them. Look. That's amazing. Brandy, want to do the WWE ad? Try to get Pete to come in here and answer for himself. WWE 2K24 is out this week. Came out last week, but it is definitely out this week.

WWE 2K24, finish your story. New match types from guest referee to casket, gauntlet, and ambulance matches. There are a bevy of new match types to experience in WWE 2K24, including support for multiple superstars and backstage brawl. Pete's in the production room. He's back in the... Oh, he's here. Yeah. WWE 2K24 Showcase Mode features 40 years of WrestleMania history.

WrestleMania is the biggest event in sports entertainment. You know where it is this year, Rome? Philadelphia. This weekend. Not this weekend. Next weekend. Not next weekend either. What weekend? Final Four weekend. Oh, yeah. Next weekend. Not next weekend either. What weekend?

Final Four weekend. Oh, yeah. You're going to the Final Four, though, right? I'm not. WrestleMania is where superstars become WWE legends. Experience a gripping retelling of WrestleMania's greatest moments in 2K Showcase of the Immortals where you can relive a collection of some of the most unforgettable career-defining matches. Pick up or download WWE 2K24 today.

WWE 2K24. Finish your story. Oh, the Barstool Sports Afternoon Bulldog just was released. You know that email? Does everyone get that? And the quote, they always have a quote of whatever's going on. The quote is, don't act like your fat ass hasn't taken the elevator before. No.

Company-wide? Not on the Bulldog. Yeah, on the Bulldog. Shit. Company-wide? Not on the Bulldog. Yeah, on the Bulldog. Shit. Look, see? Speaking of company-wide. Right there. Double-wide.

Right there. On the Bulldog. What is the Bulldog? You don't know about the Bulldog? You have to ask. You can't afford it. When did that start? A long time ago.

Come on, then. You made it to the Bulldog. That seems... I actually think the only time you've been on the Bulldog is bad things. Yeah, you're never celebrated, which is wrong. I love the afternoon Bulldogs where I get all my news. I would celebrate a Brandon Walker Appreciation Day.

Ooh. Oh, I definitely would. I would do that. I would love that. Some Belupas? Some Lomo Saltado. Lomo Saltado, Belupas. Let's doaltadoBalupas. LomoSaltadoBalupas. Let's do it buffet style. Maybe both. Well, I just requested LomoSaltado.

No, no, but we'll bring in a bunch. We'll have a huge spread. Do the Balupas too. There's courses. I meant to check every day that I'm out here. Can I get good LomoSaltado around here? And I never check. You definitely can.

What if we get a nice little trough? Yeah. We'll let you feed. Fill it with that. Yeah. Let's let Brandon feed. This is going the wrong direction. Give you feed. Fill it with that. Yeah. Let's let Brandon. This is going the wrong direction. Give him.

Let me bail out of here. Let's get you some chow. Yeah, we don't have to. No, no, no. Let's keep it classy. We'll all get gussied up, and we'll have a fucking good-ass day. Yeah. I'll go gussy.

There he is. Eat her. Eat. Look at this motherfucker. I think that one might work, too. There's a bike behind the road. State your age and name. Pete.

40. There you go. What are you doing here, Pete? You asked me to come in. No, no. What are you doing here? Just checking on things. That's it?

And then we got March Madness streams. Oh, you're running those? Yeah. Wow. Getting down and those? Yeah. Wow. Getting down and dirty. Yep. You going to fix any air conditioners? Yep, we got that scheduled for tomorrow.

Okay. How else is everything running around here? It's pretty good. It's just a little cluttered, a little messy. What's clutter? What do you want us to unclutter? No, there's just lots of boxes and stuff around. You walk in, a lot of stuff strewn about.

That's the weight area. You expect things to be strewn about. Yeah. What's the last series or anything you binged on television that you really, really enjoyed? The Crown? He's dead. Topical.

He's dead? Yeah, sorry to spoil it. Is that a, which one? Charles. I don't think he's dead topical he's dead yeah sorry to spoil it is that a which one charles he's i don't think he's dead want to bet is did kate kill him he's dead if you guys did a little kate conspiracy you you break out you i think it would go viral i bet that's true everybody with a good kate conspiracy is going like mega mega. Why are you being like this right now? What? You're just being extra you.

He's been like that all day. Yeah. I don't like doing this. You asked me to come on. You're being 100% Pete right now. Yeah. I'd like a 75%. Yeah.

You're real dry today. 25% Yak Pete. Like a Bill Tong. Yeah. So are you going to do the gauntlet? I'm going to think about it. No, seriously? It's 115.

No, not today. Gosh, no. So tomorrow you're doing the gauntlet? I'm going to think about it. Seriously, I'm going to... No, not today. Gosh, no. So tomorrow you're doing the gauntlet. I'm going to seriously consider doing the gauntlet tomorrow. What's holding you back? The fact that it's not going to go well for me. Who cares? Jeff D. Lowe had nine minutes. I know.

You're asking me. You have to do it now. It's because I'm not going to do well. Not nine minutes bad. Nine minutes is on the table. I'm not a shooter. Where's your struggles? Cornhole, you should be fine?

Is that because you can't come anymore? No, I can. But I was never a long range shooter. Rony, you're looking at a stick right now. Three-pointer is my concern. Tickle, tickle. What's up? I like that one.

Think you're good with the soccer? Yeah, I play a lot of soccer. Really? Yeah, the six-year-old just is like all fucking day. But Malasek is a beast. Yeah, but I think I'd be okay. Okay. I mean, I'd dominate him.

There's no way you're worse than Jeff D. Lowe shooting basketball. Go shoot one basketball. But I'm worried about it. If you hit the rim on your first shot, you're going to be fine. I will get it in. But it's a question of how long.

But I suppose that's the guy. I've been there. Nice. All right, what else is going on in the world of all business, Pete? Not much. Everything's running smoothly? Yeah, I think so. You've ascended to the top of the crown in Barstool sports?

You're the number two? No, I don't think so. No, it's Nate, right? So you're number three. What's the last major thing that's gone awry? Oh, good question. I don't know. All right.

I think we've been pretty good. How's things out here? Michigan, Ohio State. We don't have an air conditioner. Michigan, Ohio State, yeah. Yeah, that was bad. That was really bad. Yeah, yeah.

Spent a lot of money to do that show. Yeah. And you fucked it. Yeah. And made Connor Stallions on. How do you think the mini golf's going to go? I think it'll go well. They're chaotic, but they're fun.

Yeah. Yeah. Will you compete? No. What if I ask you to compete? I would decline. He's a tough one. Yeah.

I can't really crack him. No. Yeah. I'm not giving you much. He's a fucking asshole. Yeah. How are things him. I'm not giving you much. He's a fucking asshole. How are things out here? Great. Other than the air conditioner? Great. Good. Everything is great.

When are we going to get more space? You've got to just bother the people back there. Okay, but that is on the table. That's our only option, really. Yeah, because we want to put in a padding cage, I think. What? Batting cage? Yeah, the tenants next door may

leave at some point. Oh! We're going to double in size. Yeah, we're going to take this. Holy fuck! It's not double over there. Probably get about 33% more. My bad. That's batting cage room. Big enough for a batting cage. I don't know about the ceiling heights.

We can get a batting cage in there. Yeah, you don't need high ceilings for a batting cage. No. You could do a pop-up over there. No, I want the one that Trevor Bauer has where it can show you where you hit it. Okay. Well, that's not a batting cage. That's a whole lab.

That's a whole room. Yeah. When are they leaving? I don't know. Can you go ask them? You might have to just bother them out. Can we do that? What part of our...

Send Weiss and Stabe over there. Nikki Smokes. Yeah, yeah. Do we share a wall with them? Do we start banging on shit? No, they're kind of isolated. They're back that way. Okay.

Yeah. Hmm. What do they do over there? They make batteries. Oh. Ion batteries. How can they do over there? They make batteries. Oh. Ion batteries. How can we utilize that? I don't know.

Join forces. Is that dangerous work? Take their space? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Seems like dangerous work. Seems. Are we in danger with them making batteries next door?

I don't think so. There's got to be acid over there, right? Oh, yeah. Acid? Probably. Ooh, acid challenge. Put it on the wheel. Yeah.

Acid wheel. All right, so Yak-untlet tomorrow, guaranteed? Guaranteed that I'm going to think about it. No. What would you say the percentages of you doing it are? 50-50. Why? What's the downside?

I'm going to think about it. What's the downside? The downside is I embarrass myself for it. That's an upside. Nobody's expecting you to be amazing. What about if you score on Jake in under a minute, you don't have to do it what about if you score on jake in under a minute you don't have to do it what if you break dan's record that's that's yeah what if you break break what's the what's the record set the record 126 yeah probably not but go shoot one shot let's

see you shoot one shot no i'm sure it's not that bad if he breaks the record i'd kill myself i think he kills the gauntlet it's over over. Oh, yeah, you're right. You have to stop it. Yeah. Yeah. And somebody here should probably kill themselves. I will. I'll do it.

Gotcha. Go shoot one shot so we can just see. I will not. We'd like to just see. We'll say, hey, good job, Pete. No. You can do this. You're not as bad as you think you are.

I'm a bad shooter. Go do it. Shoot one shot. One. You're just the worst. No. Did the show Pete and Pete play any role in your adolescent

banter? We watched it. I suppose. Did it make any references to how that's your name? It was fairly obvious. Like, oh, Pete's... You did have some fun with it. There's a show.

Who's the number one Pete in the world? Samper. Pete Davidson? Davidson. Davidson. Davidson. You don't think there's somebody better? Pete Wentz.

Postle. Pete Townsend. Lonzo. Maravich. Pete Maravich. Maravich. Buttigieg. Peter Gabriel.

Oh, Buttigieg. Pete. Do Peters count as Pete's to you? Who would go with the name Peter? Your parents Over Pete Yeah but I'm just like Just call me Pete

Pete Wicks Pete Alonzo Pete Rose Pete Wheeler Pete Dunn Pete Doctor Who's that guy? Pete Wheeler from Backyard. Pete Dunn. Pete Doherty was with us. No, Pete. Get back. What about Pete Carroll? I forgot about Pete Carroll. Pete Doctor. Who's that guy?

I don't like him. No, I don't either. Oh, Pete Weber. Pete Weber and Pete Overmeyer could not be farther apart in terms of manliness. In terms of passion. Yeah. Yeah. I bet Pete Weber would do it.

I got to tweet out that clip. Is it the anniversary today? Yeah, today's the anniversary. Every single 12-year anniversary. Pete Webber. You should see Pete walking around the New York office now. Like his cock's 12 feet and his shit don't stink. Yeah.

It's fucking insane. Like he's walking around with a gun. Yeah. But his gun is his cock and it's dragging behind him. Leaving a mark like a slug. Let's fucking insane. Like he's walking around with a gun. Yeah. But his gun is his cock and his dragon behind him. Leaving Mark like a slug. Is it pleasant to be around? Oh, God, no. I find it very comforting that he works here, though.

Better on our side type of guy. Yeah. You want to work your team. Exactly. Do you think Pete has accessed the dark web in his life? Of course. Yeah. He can get on it in five seconds. Yeah. exactly do you think Pete has accessed the dark web in his life of course he can get on it in 5 seconds I feel like he's seen some shit on there

it's like one of my biggest regrets not taking advantage of that not learning to code that's one of your biggest regrets I think there's a untapped world of a secret internet the Silk Road

I read that book probably the last book I read that was awesome That world of a secret internet The Silk Road, isn't that the Silk Road, that book, I read that book Probably the last book I read, that was awesome He got arrested Yeah, he fucked up, he went to a library Oh yeah, I remember this Who was Kim.com? Was that Pirate Bay?

Oh yeah, that guy got The Pirate Gate Mega uploads They never got in trouble, did they? Did he get in trouble? The Pirate Gate. Mega uploads. The Pirate Gate. Mega uploads? Oh, yeah. Okay. They never got in trouble, did they? Did he get in trouble? Kim.com did, yeah. He's hiding out in New Zealand.

Yeah, he got it. Kim.com? Yep. What does he look like? Fat. Internet guy. Fat. Glasses.

That's Kim.com. And what do you do? Mega uploads. My porn website. Oh. That's why Zaw's answering these questions.com. And what do you do? Mega uploads. My porn website. Oh. That's why Zaw's answering these questions. Zaw's an expert. He got dialed in real fast.

You go to mega uploads for porn? Yeah, so you download the full tape? Why do you need to download it? Who's downloading porn? Downloading is perfect. In case you have somewhere without service. You have a computer full of downloads? Well, you know, in case you're in a car with your boys and you're not getting good internet

service. That's how I made my living in high school, slinging porn. Oh. What? Yeah, we didn't have- I forgot about that. We were like five, 10 years behind, so it was still in the DVD days when you guys were internet.

Smart guy. So I used to burn them, put them on a blank DVD, and sell them in high school. Did your parents know? Would you create a playlist for your clients? Your parents did not know. My parents did not know. However, my mom is the one that bought me the laptop that I used to use. Would you pick out the porn that your friend would like the most?

Yeah, my brother, I had it all. You name the category, I had it. Did they request? I had it all. I literally had a library. But would you... You're going to love this big titty. How weird would you get? Yeah, were had it. Did they request? I had it all. I literally had a library. But would you... You're going to love this big titty. How weird would you get?

Yeah, were you like a porn summoner? I didn't get weird. I didn't get too crazy with the fetishes. So I didn't do the feet and all that. But races, I had all the races. I had all the kinds, all the types. What was the best seller? Big Booty.

Big Booty. Big Booty, yeah. Big Booty. Any race, Big Booty. I was a porn curator. Now, if something wasn't selling, would you throw it in for free? Nah, ain't nothing for free. Ain't nothing for free.

I'd get deleted off my... I believe my hard drive was 60 gigs at the time, so space was limited. If it wasn't selling, it had to go. And how much do you think you netted? So I would sell a DVD at the peak. It was a dollar DVD, usually a dollar for two. And then music, if it was an MP3, I would charge $2

because you could sneak in 100 songs on that. If it's a regular album, then it's just $1. Damn. And I was built for it. And the old boys' school, by the way, old boys' boarding school, it was literally set up for me to succeed, raking in cash. What are you doing, Brandon? Nothing.

What did you look at me like that for? I didn't look at you like nothing. You want some DVDs? I don't want any DVDs What would the activities be on Brandon Walker Appreciation Day? I can't stop looking at this guy's hair I'm sorry Oh the boy's got

It's zhuzhed to high heavens What is it? It's like BJ Novak meets Johnny Bravo That volume is like a spinal tap That's incredible hair. Oh, that's awesome. That's our new manager. Oh, he works here.

Camera room guy? No, that's definitely not our camera room guy. Our camera room guy is definitely... That guy can't work here. He's a mutant, if I had to guess. No offense to him. Is gravity reversed for him? Have you met him?

Does he have real... Have you met our new camera guy? No. TJ, have you? His name's Joe. No, but I've talked to him over Zoom or whatever. Mutant? That's a yes.

Yep. Okay. No. I mean that with all respect. I don't know. Yeah, hold on. We got mutants. With all due respect. With all due respect. I don't know We got mutants With all due respect

You don't look human This guy's got it He might be upside down Yeah I think so He's upside down TJ can we flip the camera And go upside down To see

It would probably look A lot more natural Oh he's got a hand tattoo Oh oh hell yeah as good as marquesas who is this guy i don't know what is he doing is he about to see himself on the giant screen we gotta come here we're just your hair is sir. My word. Brandon, yes, stand up. Your hair is incredible. What do you...

Who are you and what do you do? Please come take a seat. We're live right now, but who are you and what do you do? Lawrence Funk. Wait, wait, wait. Say it in there. My name is Lawrence Funk.

Okay. Oh, you smell great, wait. Say it in there. My name is Lawrence Funk. Okay. I figured. Oh, you smell great, too. We kind of could have guessed. Oh, my. You smell incredible. Wait, is your tie clip a gun? It is.

It is. Wait, so Lawrence Funk. What do you do? So I own Funk's Barbershop downtown. Oh, okay. That makes sense. So I'm actually in here taking a tour, potentially talking about doing a barbershop here for you guys.

Yes. So I'm the barber for the Chicago Bears. Okay. I have a two-chair barbershop at Hallas Hall as well. Oh, nice. It's private for employees, staff, players. Yeah, we've been wanting to do it. We saw LeBron's barbershop.

We said, why not do it ourselves? Yeah, so I have a two-chair barbershop at Hallas Hall. I've been there since 2017. And I go there every Friday during the season. I was just texting Poles just now. Oh, nice. He said to say hello to everybody. Oh, okay. So, yeah, I'm here to do the tour.

Okay, so you might be our barber. Looking forward to it, yeah. I mean, you've already passed the test of just being cool. What's the secret to the volume? Blow dry. A lot of guys won't blow dry. All my clients are like, ah, blow drying takes too long. Take two or three minutes for any guy in here. You blow dry your hair.

You have warm, hot. Hot. I use a Dyson blow dryer. Which is obviously faster. But I use that blow dry my hair on hot and a little product and I'm good to go. What would you say about this guy's hair? I could get a lot of volume out of your hair.

Do we have a blow-dryer here? I should have brought mine. I want to see him all like that. I want to see him. You know what I should do is go back. I live right... Do it. I should go back and get all my clippers and come back and just give you a haircut.

I'll bring my blow-dryer, I'll bring all my clippers and cut you right here. How close do you live? Four blocks. Go do it. I literally live... blow dryer. I'll bring all my clippers and cut you right here. How close do you live? Four blocks. Go do it. I literally live there. We're going to be live for another 30 minutes. I don't even care

about the haircut. I'll bring my blow dryer. Blow dry his hair. I want to be like yours. Yes. Yes. Yes. All right.

Yes. Yes. All right. We'll still be live. I'll be right back. All right. Thank you. Lauren's fun.

We got Lauren. Yeah, Lauren. Oh, man. The whole room smells better. What a moment. This is going to be great. Incredible. I want to see you all fucking.

What a guy. How awesome is Lawrence Funk? Lawrence Funk. I knew as soon as I saw him, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. We're at like 100% hit rate whenever we just see someone random. We're like, come on. And they don't hesitate. And they're just like, yeah, I'm going to sit down. Who's Lawrence Funk? We're like a hundred percent hit rate whenever we just see someone We could sit here for an hour and try to come up with a cooler name than that

Laurence Funk Larry Florence funk damn. Oh, yeah This is that rain everything Yeah, like he invented what's up yeah first dude to say that he was the first guy to walk the dog with a yo mega first guy to do a finger gun kind of guy stops you in your tracks i want mean, I've wanted this because I know, obviously, people have done the barbershop thing. But I think just doing, and I know Jeff Wittek does a really good show where he cuts people's hair. Yeah. But just getting people, like, it doesn't even have to be an actual show, but, like, it could be for Viva TV.

Just getting people getting their hair cut. Yeah. You get funny moments out of it. And I've been too afraid to go to get my hair cut somewhere. I always wait way too long to get my hair cut. I did too. A month from now, all of you have the Lawrence Funk. I've got your all.

Right now. Everyone's got the Fleishman. I can't wait to see you Lawrence Funked up. Oh, the Funked up. You get that Funk in you. Yeah. I guess he's just going to pick it right up. He's going to do something, man.

It's going to make you look crazy tall you're already tall I don't know if I've got what he has I mean his was he said he could get a lot yep it can't just be

blowing it back though it's got to be something else he's going to have a round brush I want you to go when he comes back I want you to go

somewhere else to do it so then you come back for the reveal I want you to have to duck to get back in here. Yeah. You guys see LeBron is starting a podcast with JJ Redick. Really?

Just came out. No shit. After the show started. Caitlyn Jenner has one with Lamar Odom now. I saw that on our celebrity booking list. Really? Yeah. Fucking everyone's doing podcasts. Too many podcasts. Just too many.

Go play professional basketball. Has LeBron ever sat down and spoke? No. Never. This will be a first. No, he has his barbershop show. That's why I brought it up, because he has his barbershop show where he speaks, but he has literally seven guests when he does that.

He has a full room of other people to do the heavy lifting, so he doesn't have to. But it's going to be extreme analytics or something, or a deep dive into basketball? I don't fucking know. I don't know how I feel. They're already the first podcast of them sitting with wine. Try hard. How about Tommy? I mean, what's Tommy in on it?

That's what I mean. Gotta be. Is Tommy out? He's gotta be. I don't know. Break my heart if Tommy was out. Tommy's never out. Tommy's with the Kelsey's. Yeah. Is he?

Yeah, he was Taylor Swift and Kelsey's. He was just courtside at the Knicks game with fucking Ben Stiller. Jeez. Tommy knows everything. He's always there, dude. He's never out. Always. He's 22 years old, too.

I just found out. I guarantee. Who are we talking about? Tommy knows Lawrence Funk. I guarantee it. Our friend Tommy Alter, he co-hosts with J.J. Reddick. Oh, him. In all time, just knows dudes.

Knows everybody. Big Cat, send him a picture of you and Lawrence Funk and just be like, we were just talking about you, bro. Tommy used to host dinners in New York where he'd invite me or PFT, and you'd just show up and it would just be like, oh, like Kevin Love and Charlamagne. Was he like a handler?

Malcolm Gladwell. You're like, what's going on here? I really think, well, I go back and forth on whether he was curating these groups or whether it was just like totally random because I got involved with some wild-ass dinners with him as well where like, why am I eating with Roy Hibbert right now? Right. Taylor Rooks.

Yeah. Do you think he's doing this consciously? That's curated. I think you and Hibbert right now? Taylor Rooks? Do you think he's doing this consciously? I think he's curated. Because there's an Indiana thing going on there? Yeah, maybe. I consider Tommy a friend and I... What if he Epstein'd us? Oh shit.

There he is. Bev. I got the hookahs in the back. How's it going? How are you? Hello, hello. Hi, Bev. Good to see you, man.

What's up, Pat? That's okay. Titus. That's okay. What's up, man? How we doing? Good to see you, Pat. How are you?

Good. Pat, you going to do the gauntlet for us? Come on, put me on. Oh, fuck yes. Belt ass. All right. Here we go. They told me I had to make the yak black.

Whoa, whoa. So I'm in this bitch. Whoa. Put a little color. Whoa. You know where he got? Sounds right there. Well, you guys put him in the cut.

Why you hiding? I just told you he used to sell you guys put him in the cut. Why are you hiding him? I just told him he used to sell DVDs of porn in high school. I'm saying, but you can't hide him. Don't put him in the cut. No, we got the Chinese guy, the black guy behind the glass. Put a little color on this. What's going on? Dude, what's up?

How you guys doing? Good. I want you to do the gauntlet. I think you can do it. Put me on. All right. So, all right, wait, hold on. Brandon, will you dress the Long John stuff

so that we don't have to have Pat dressing it? Very well, thank you. Do you know Lawrence Funk? Barber? He's a barber. I didn't do it. No. Okay. He was just here. He cuts the bear's hair.

And he's fucking He's the man Can I have a scully or a hat? Yes I can put on If that's possible Love game New one? Just take mine

No no no I just want to show I want to make sure I'm part of the crew Yeah take mine I have one right here I have another one Say less I was about to ask you

Did you guys lose yesterday? No why would you think that? Who'd you play? The Phoenix Suns put 140. Oh, yeah, that's right. You see me guard KD with a straight arm? My shoulder stability and strength here didn't even have to bend it or gave him a straight arm.

I think he ended with like 11 points. Pop my shit, Yak Day. Did you – is your knee okay? Yeah, you see what – I just saw a bunch of tweets being like oh no not pat bevin i was so scared yeah no no everything's fine okay yeah i think savona tried to take me out the other game he probably did yeah what you guys talking about what's the gauntlet put me on um okay they setting it up yeah yeah oh this is the whole thing yeah yeah

okay so cool do you want someone to go first to show you how it's done? No, why? All right. I'm big boy. All right. Brandon will walk you through it. What do you got, Steven? Long John Silver. Yeah, no, Brandon will. Brandon will.

But it's like an athletic competition of several different athletic feats that you do in a row. And you have to do them as quickly as possible. And you finish with like a little bit of trivia, 10 trivia questions that you have to answer. 10 trivia questions are very easy. So basically get the heart rate up, get the mind loosened up a little bit. Exactly. Now you have to educate the mind while I'm tired. Yes, so it starts with the cornhole.

You got to get one in, just one. Uh-huh. So that might take like four tries. Yep. Okay. Then it's soccer. I have to kick one in? Kick one in.

So you got to kick all, like you kick those three balls. If you don't get one in, you can kick from anywhere. So you can go right up to the goalie. Then it's wiffle ball. Just got to hit one above where this studio is. Okay. You throw it to yourself. Yep, throw it to yourself, hit it.

Then you got to throw a football and hit down one of the body armor bottles. See them set up? Or you just hit the leg and knock all of them tight. Nope, you have to hit the bottle directly. Okay, cool. Don't want to cheat. And you can't, you have to get your own rebound. So if you miss, you have to go get the football, go back.

All right, all right. Say that. Then three-pointer. Then three-pointer. Then you sit down in trivia. Okay. And what – am I allowed to know the questions? No, but it's – so it's six – it's like – it's Sporkle.

Real general. So it's like 60 questions. Really general. I have the best time. Oh. 126. Cam Newton's time's like 60 questions. I have the best time. Oh. 126. Cam Newton's time is like six minutes. If you would like to help me at the front, where do you start first?

No, you have to start in order. You have to go in order. Yeah. All right, so this is brought to you by Long John Silver's. It's fried fish season. Enjoy wild-caught Alaska pollock, hand-battered and fried to perfection at Long John Silver's. We have more than fish this February

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Thank you, Long John Silver's. Brandon is wearing the Long John Silververs hat, ready to go. All right, so you got everything. Brandon will help you as well if you get lost at any point. Can we start, please? I'm trying to win a game. Okay, all right. He's ready.

You ready, TJ? Bags on the ground. All right, bags on the ground. Bags on the ground. Bags on the ground. bag's on the ground. Bag's on the ground. Bag's on the ground. Bag's on the ground. Bag's on the ground. He's being a dick.

Bag's on the ground. Three, two, one, go. All right, he's off. It's over. Oh, my God, it's over. Oh, he sucks. It's over. He sucks at this.

Oh, no. He said four. That was four. Oh, boy. That don't count?. Oh no. He said four. That was four. Oh boy. Oh no. This is a game often played at barbecues, no? Oh, oh. Oh, there it is.

Alright. Malasek's gonna fucking... Oh. Another one. Oh. another one. Oh, no. Oh. You can kick from anywhere. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, no, Malasek.

Oh, no. Big-ass shirt Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, Malasek. Oh no. Big ass shirt. Oh. Oh! Oh! Holy shit! Oh my god! No! That! No!

Get him a ball! Malasek! He's got it in the back! That dive killed me. No. That dive was so funny. It was so funny. Eat that. Get him Malicek. Dude, I'm like.

Oh, no. Oh, hit it. Oh, Pat. Pat. I'm in awe. No, Pat. Come on, Pat. Go.

Go. There it is. That was incredible. Wiffle ball. Wiff was incredible. Wiffle ball. Wiffle ball. Wiffle ball. Just got to hit one over our studio. Okay.

There he goes. All right. He's back. Oh, he got that right away. Oh. Oh. That would have been sick nope oh man he wailed that thing what if he doesn't hit the shots there it is you got a good

time let's see oh oh shit all right next one uh-oh Oh, shit. All right, next one. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Still a good time. There it is. Right here, right here, right here. Trivia.

Good time. Five NBA players scored the fastest triple-double. Five NBA players scored the fastest triple-double. Ten state capitals. Do you have any of those? Okay, here we go. What's the first question? You can go in any order. I can't say this, guys. Help me out. Okay, five NBA players to score the fastest triple-double. So just name triple-doubles.

Westbrook. James Harden. Wimby has to be in there now. There we go. And I'm going to go. Six teams in the WNBA Western Conference. Six teams, Lakers. WNBA.

WNBA West. What about state capitals? Can you get Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana? I'm cool there. I'm cool there. I'm cool there. New York, North Carolina. I mean, South Carolina.

Nevada. State capitals. State capitals. What's the capital of Indiana? Capital of Illinois. Springfield. Springfield. There you go. Okay. State capitals. State capitals. What's the capital of Indiana? Capital of Illinois. Springfield. Springfield. There you go.

Okay, here we go. Yeah, there you go. Capital of New York. New York. The Big Apple. Nope. That's not it. WNBA Western Conference. Capital of Michigan.

What's the LA team in WNBA? I don't know. Yes, you do. Yeah, there he is. Parks. Capital of Georgia. Hey, I don't like this guy. Keep do. Yeah, there he is. Parks, Capitano, Georgia. Hey, I don't like this guy. Keep going.

Okay, cool. Okay, tell me, what's next? Who's the coach of Michigan football? I don't know. Okay, who's the coach of Colorado football? I don't know. Which fruit has seeds on the outside? Best-selling N64 games of all time.

Mario Kart. Mario Kart, okay. 007. Mario Kart, okay. 007. Mario Kart, 007. Okay, yep. Goldeneye. Primetime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, Dion. You got Dion. There it is, Dion. No, Dion Sanders. Primetime. Say less. One more. Rob Dyrdek shows.

Do you know any of those? Yeah. Yeah. The Whipple. What fruit has its seeds on the outside what fruit's covered in little seeds oh man oh nine artists with most number one albums all time on billboard 200 mb m&m m&m yes there we are we're 25 did it okay not as bad yeah that wasn't bad Yeah, you beat Cam Newton Let's see where you are

Hey, who's the goalie? Mouse Mouse He's a real motherfucker He's elite Yeah He's incredible This motherfucker

He should put on a jersey He dives after the ball He's insane He's elite Y'all didn't tell me about that one though Yeah What do I rank? Okay, you are...

Right below Rome. Right below... You are ahead of... Travis Maldonado. Travis Maldonado. Cam Newton. You're ahead of Cam Newton. Okay.

You're ahead of Ben Mintz. Okay. Spider. Jeff T. Lowe. Stu Feiner. What about Dave? Does he do it? Dave refuses to do this.

Okay, why? I don't know. It's a color thing. It's just the... He doesn't want to embarrass himself. Yeah. Okay. You didn't embarrass yourself.

That was a good time. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Sketch. Do you know Sketch? Yeah. Who's KB? KB's right here.

Okay, you're KB. Hello. Tim Woods. How long did the soccer shot, if you would, I mean, he nicked you on the soccer shot. I'm serious. I felt something in my right hip. Oh, no. Just calm down a little bit.

I'm sure I'm stretched out like this. I like that, though. That's pretty nice. What about any ladies? Am I faster than the ladies that did it? Second best time of all time is a lady. Oh, you're faster than when I did it blindfolded. Okay. That's a victory. Yeah. The second fastest time is a lady. Oh, you're faster than when I did it blindfolded. Okay, that's a victory.

Yeah. The second fastest time is a lady. I got a goalie. Yes. Yeah. That's impressive. Very impressive. That's impressive.

He actually tried a little bit harder with you than I've ever seen him try. Oh, wait. What was Roan's time? Did you beat Roan? 4.08. Oh, no, you didn't beat Roan. You'll go again sometime. You're back here?

Just once, yeah. Okay, cool. But he didn't try that hard. I think he let my, like, fourth shot go in. He just, like, stopped trying. Yeah. I think he felt bad. He was being a jerk about it.

With you, he was trying to, he was going all out. He was trying to get a 10-day today. Yeah, he was trying to get an axe to grind with you. He was trying to get a Chicago fire contract. It was nasty work. All right, right you guys got a pod to record you guys recording your pod here yeah i wanted to check that shit out first though what's the most shocking thing you've learned about roan from episode one to now um what surprised you the most stole us from them obviously i know what shocking means so give me time to come no i know, I know. I know that's what people do, though, right? Yeah.

They give you a word that's okay, but then they try to dumb it down. You got to do the Sammy Sosa. Did you see Sammy Sosa? You don't get my answer immediately. The Sammy Sosa clip from last week? I don't know. That's a great fucking question, though, man. Obviously, I knew he can throw his own jabs, but he can hold his own weight in the room.

I didn't know that coming in. A lot of people get around me and they don't like to open up or be themselves. I could be in one room, he could be in this. Does he have any favorite impressions of yours? Yeah, yeah, he does. Oh, goody. The good old boys. That's my favorite. You ever heard him do

Baron Trump Trump's son No Wait it's like A really cute boy Cause he's like Seven foot tall Have you ever seen him

Do Native American No tell me He's a very proud They actually feel Some type of way wrong They feel like I took you From a lot of people

In here Yeah you did Really Yeah Damn It's okay that's tough i don't give a fuck but hey man we doing what we're supposed to do though we're doing what we're supposed to do i like the yak though i like how y'all sit back like this i like this yeah it's a nice two hours okay okay i like this sit around in yak it's like uh you know nobody has to do that much heavy lifting because everybody's sharing in the conversation but you're not you're not on the yak anymore he's original member but you stole him oh he's still on there yeah i'm now i'm not not on the what no he's not so he's not oh my god wait what happened oh was that today that's been like that for that's damn four months

what the fuck four months i Four months? What the fuck? Four months? I did that this morning, I think. Shit. No, that's been there. Terrible timing. No, that's been there. What the fuck? Did you see?

So you play that clip, TJ. This is what you got to do to a reporter that asks you a question. Oh, my God. Look at his hair. Put on your headphones real quick. How do you get it so fast? They're right there. They're right there.

How do you get it so fast? It's the end of the clip when Luke Nellis asks a question. Time for you misunderstanding the past. But now I'm a real man. I feel great. So I recognize my mistake. So, hey, why not? Are you telling me that you recognize the fact that maybe you did do steroids? Um, this is, um, like I say, um, this is, um, um, not a question that I expected from you.

Oh, there it is. That's all you got to say. No, of course not. Someone asks you a question you don't want to answer. You should be like, I didn't expect this question from you. I expected from you. What an answer. I missed that so good.

It's so good. Amazing. This is not a question I expected from you. Hey, so when you guys are up here, right, and you guys are doing your thing, how do you balance out the room with conversation? Because obviously a lot of people are not going to over-talk you. No, we actually all over-talk each other. Yeah.

It happens all the time. Double Dutch, and I'm like, when am I going to over talk you because no we we actually all over talk each other yeah yeah okay uh it happens all the time yeah double dutch and i'm like when am i going to jump in and then i i do and i tangle up the ropes and then i say sorry and then i back out that's no the beauty of this show is we never really plan anything so we sit down and just hang out for two hours every day just kind of wherever it goes so what was the conversation today? We started with. If you eat pussy with glasses on or not. Yep. I don't want glasses. And then we talked about the King Charles dying. Pat loves the royal family.

This is one of his big. We talked to my aunt as well. We briefly touched on if Brandon and I, if our wives, if we got divorced or they died, what would we do? Brandon said he'd date a 30 year old I said I'd strictly go to high end prostitutes high end

high end different crew yeah what else St. Patrick is an Irish he's Italian he's Italian

yeah he took out he got all the snakes out of Ireland and they made they tried to say he was a saint for doing that

he's Italian yeah no shit I wish that question was on there your shit would have been a little longer whoa I didn't know that yeah Patrick doesn't sound like an Italian name but you would you would know better than I I'm the black Italian your city gave me the name that's true white Italian yeah we go how's's Beltas going? The tour is going great. We just left Milwaukee. We had a little suns in the building. Had a little Beltas there.

Beltas. Playoffs are what, like a month away? Around the corner. This show is like the Milwaukee Bucks. You know, 10 starters. Some nights it might be Bobby Portis getting 30 points. No, I can tell. Someone else is walking.

Oh, he's got it. All right. Lawrence Funk. Beautiful. Wow. Yes. I've never seen you so good. Yes.

That looks great. Wow. Lawrence Funk did it. Lawrence Funk. This is styling. This is styling. No hair. This is style.

That looks great. Yep. Yeah. You are. 10% of it belongs to Mr. Funk. That's great. Lawrence Funk, you're a legend, man. We got to figure something out.

All right. Okay. Yes. Oh goodness. Let's go. Is it hard to like when you first get your hair styled or done? Lawrence, sit down for a sec.

When you first get your hair styled or done, is it like, is it natural for your neck to be stiff like after you're done? Like you don't wanna do too much movement? I've never had that weird question asked me. Yeah, cause you got like. So do you feel like do I walk around like this? No, I'm saying how he just was.

He didn't really move his neck a lot. Probably because he never has his hairstyle. Okay, cool, cool. First and foremost. But no, I mean, you know, whenever you leave a barbershop, I mean, you... Yeah, I'm stiff as hell. I mean, because everything's so fresh. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I don't want to mess my beard up or my hair or whatnot. So, I mean, I guess, but I never thought about that, though. Actually, think about it. When you get your shit done when you leave out you well because i mean yeah because your beard i mean because you know when i do it like for you for instance i'd pick your beard out shape it yeah blend everything and then you almost don't want to touch it after i put the beard oil in you're like and when your hair is that high you don't want it to fall over it's like having a stack of jenga on top of it wow. Look how confident he is. Wow. He looks great. You don't want him to topple your hair. So, yeah,

with my hair, for instance, yes. Do I want people touching my hair? No. God, no. But, I mean, I don't. My hair's styled the way it's styled. Oh, what could you do for that guy? The guy in the right? No, the red. Yeah, cut it all off. I mean, we could trim it, but

he's going to look the same, but just with a trim yeah how much volume could you get on that though i mean i'd have to take like half of it off to even get volume because the longer it gets the harder to buy heavier yeah yeah well you made brandon look good i mean he looks good right yeah i mean for for just a quick blow dry i use a little bit of product and i mean in a tight room. It's not bad. We've got to get something done. Could you picture me giving him a full haircut and a full style and a full beard trim? He'd look great.

He wouldn't even look the same. We might be in our hot boy era. Everybody in here is going to be a hot boy by the time I get back. Give the Montana boys a run for their money. No chance. I was asking him when's the last time everybody's been to a barber, real barber.

And I don't mean a hairstylist. I mean a legitimate straight razor, hot towel barber. Do Dominicans count? Nope. I mean, they do. I mean,

they do. I just meant, I mean, if you're going to a barber, if you're going to like the Hispanic local barber shop,

yeah, there's, I mean, there are a dime a dozen. I mean, hot towel, straight razor, you know know on the beard line after shade a long time so my so my shop we serve whiskey and beer uh complimentary so you come in you get a glass with you know the the ice square whatnot but ours is a legitimate vintage barbershop i love that you post videos i do yeah my funk's barbershop yeah it's so it's funk's barbershop. I love that. Do you post videos? I do. Yeah, my Funk's Barbershop. Yeah, so it's Funk's Barbershop.

My last name is Funk. Everybody asks me if that's my real last name. It is. Yes, it is. But all my guys wear shirt and tie. Oh, that's fine. Essentially like this.

It's a real upscale, but then all my guys are fun, tattooed, normal guys. It's not an uptight environment. But that's what I mean. So once I get in here, I'll be able to get all you guys. That's fire.

That's going to be probably the most amazing experience you guys ever have so that's what I mean. So once I get in here, I'll be able to get all you guys. That's fire. It'll be the, probably the most amazing experience you guys ever have. That's dope. Cool. How long you been doing it? I've been licensed

going on 13 years. My mother was a hairstylist when I was little. Bravo. So I'd give myself haircuts and things like that. Like, the typical barber story.

But then I got into trouble and did everything against the rules until I was about 30. Okay. So then I went to barber school a little later in life. So now I'm 44 but been licensed going on 13 years,

and my shop's been open nine. The Hallis Hall shop's been open seven, and then I got a badass private shop at my house as well. So where do you do the bears? Hallis Hall. Hallis Hall. Lake Forest, yeah. How many of them?

Do they have to, like, request? So, yeah, so at my shop we have an online booking system so i just use literally the same system with them so they it's all private obviously but it's their name all their information in the whether it's a haircut and a haircut beard but so like coach floos is my guy poles i usually cut are you the one behind his change i am wow so he changed his look recently. Yeah, so about a month ago, I was going up to cut poles in Matt, and he said, hey, my wife wants me to cut my hair shorter.

I said, yeah, yeah. He was showing me pictures of Ryan Reynolds like a short, like short and tight, tight on the sides, little bit on top. So we get him cut, and it was the end of the season-ish. It was there, and everything was going on. So he had a little bit of a shadow of a beard. I'm like, Floose, that's badass, bro.

You should keep the beard. And he's like, fuck, no way. I'm like, keep it. Everybody's going to love it. Keeps it. About a month later, I cut him right for the press conference. And he came in. He's like, all right, Funk, I haven't touched it.

And it was all shaggy. Yeah. Everywhere. So I lined it up, raised it up. It looked good. Raised it up. And yeah, he texted me Thursday. It was a screenshot of somebody's tweet

so they won the fan base pass excuse me won the fan base back and then he's like yeah i think you did good yeah you know so but yeah since then he's been uh wearing the beard i was just up there last week and he wanted to cut it shorter i'm like no no no leave it no he's doing no yeah you're you're steering him in the right direction that's fine so it's been good though so yeah so would you ever cut the milwaukee bucks i'm sorry Would you ever cut the Milwaukee Bucks? I'm sorry? Would you ever cut the Milwaukee Bucks? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm open to cut anybody. I cut a few of the White Sox, and I cut a few of the Blackhawks as well. So is it harder cutting a white man's hair or a black man's hair? I mean, me, no. I mean, I cut everybody. So, I mean, I literally have a variety. My clientele is probably, I don't know, half, halfpanic white black asian old young so i don't really is it it's different because you know straight hair or so it's round cell or flat cells the current or is like the

correct term yeah is it different for sure because you know black dudes you cut with the grain right you know white guys if you cut with the grain it's not gonna do anything all right so it's a different type of cutting but is it harder nah i'm a professional i love that you might have to get them up to milwaukee might yeah i mean whole team yeah i mean i you know i definitely you know i'm definitely i've been in the business you know for quite some time and my shop when i opened the shop i opened it to be able to cater to every literally everybody yeah because most barber shops now it's either white shop or a black shop or a puerto rican shop or girls or only yeah and it's always like that so coming into my shop there'll be a old white guy a old black dude a

young kid a one-year-old a student athlete it's literally like that across the board so but but you can't go anywhere else like that right upscale so that was the whole point and you know now look at where we're at i'm sitting here bullshitting with our chaplain is our the barber really i was just gonna ask you do you guys have you like given is he giving you guys so i go you know me it's my first time there i go and who's the who's the barber right they give me his name but i didn't put two and two together because you know i've never missed chapel in NBA I don't know 10 years over a decade I go to chapel and then after the game

I see somebody getting their hair cut I'm like he's the barber but imagine I send him to my house and he knocks on the door ring the doorbell it's the chapel I think so oh shit is it time to go now all the time is just for a haircut

Sick story right So the guy that cuts Everybody's hair is the Chaplain That's crazy And full time chaplain He's great at both Does he speak the word of the lord

While he's giving you a trim That's the thing I don't know I haven't gotten my haircut by him gotta figure it out yeah um all right well funk we will we'll figure something out cool yeah all right gents yeah thank you so much i'll see you guys everybody yeah yeah appreciate it that guy's awesome i i need i need i need cleaned up i need to get funked up yeah i want yeah i want to get funked up i would like a monthly not for me but for you guys where you have to get dressed up nicely to come to work we did dress up day y'all not wearing that shit that's just trash

would you ever go to him fuck no killing me i'm you guys sat up here just say last though and i'm looking at everyone they're like yeah that's great i'll look at cali what the fuck You're killing me. You guys sat up here and just say less, though. Say less, say less. And I'm looking at everyone in here like, yeah, that's great. I'm looking at Cal like, what the fuck? I used to howl me. That's not true.

Actually, not true. But say less. I like the yak. All right, well, we'll spin our wheel. You're not going to like the yak when we do this. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's slim wheel today, right? Ron, do you want to explain to him explain to him so what the wheel is i'm sorry i don't mean to cut you off if a man walked up to you with that hairstyle and was like hey you know

what you're looking good babe i want to take you out to dinner would you take him serious you're asking the wrong lady you're asking the wrong why because you would explain why you're the wrong person to ask. Is it a dude giving me attention? I'm interested. That hair too? How many beers am I? One. The night is young. Say less.

The night is young. I don't know. That's good hygiene. That's stuff to come by. Okay, say less. I see how you're looking at it. If you've seen my track record, that would be. You don't think you did a good job on Brandon's hair?

I did a great job, but it's not something that you will wake up and, okay, cool, let me go ahead and get this. Right now. Let me get this. I want us all to get funked up. I want us all to have it. All this walking around in the funk. And you got to cut all your hair off.

We're all going to be looking the same way. Pretty much what we just signed up for. I think we have to do that. Like a 70s band. I think we should. We could be the Funk Boys. That would be so funny. We're going to look like the T-Birds in Greece.

We're singing doo-wop. Yeah, we're snapping as we walk together. Oh, I love it. At a car wash. With suits on. Oh, my goodness. Oh, man.. With suits on. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, do the wheel.

I'm sorry. I didn't cut you off, Roni. No, no. Just the wheel is... We got a problem. What? Huh? We've never ran out of dries.

So, if it lands on wet, somebody's getting wet. Actually? Yeah. Like? Shower. In the shower. Fully clothed. It's a woman here,'s getting wet. Actually? Yeah. Like? Shower. In the shower. Fully clothed. It's a woman here, so I just wanted to make sure.

Okay, yeah. She had to do it last week. In a wheelchair, believe it or not. All right, spin it, TJ. This is going to suck. There's just no way we're going to. We're so fucked. Oh.

Okay, okay. We're good. We're good. We're good. All right, so we'll do it again and start the next show. Yep. Here we go. Perfect.

No wet. We're good. All right. All right. Thanks, everyone. This is a great yak. Pat, you're the best. We're good. All right, so we'll do it again and start the next show. There we go. Perfect. No wet. We're good. All right. All right. Thanks, everyone. This was a great yak. Pat, you're the best. Thanks for coming.

Turned yak back. Yeah. Well, we had Funk trying to get us to get the whitest. Did you call him with this? It was this. Okay. Trying to get the whitest haircut ever, and you're balancing us out. We all have to do it.

Pat's going to hate us. Pat's going to be like, I'm not signing with Barstool for an extension when he sees us funked up. Zah gets in, he's looking like Ted Galloway. I could deal with a lot of things, but not you guys being funked up. Everyone's sitting here like this, like, wow. Yeah. We're easy to impress. Oh, my goodness. All right right we'll see everyone tomorrow please subscribe subscribe subscribe love that love love love It's the act. Get your straws, yeah, style and tape for a while.

It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Go get that new merch. Buy the hats. They're great hats.

Have a great week, everybody. Love you. Bye.