The Yak - Rone Gets His Cast Sawed Off Live On Air | The Yak 8-29-22

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

Shoutout Dr. DanYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, all the boys are back. Nick, baby. Oh, all the boys are back. Nick. Baby. Roan, Brandon, Owen. No sass, no Lil Sass. Yeah, no Lil Sass.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Where's Lil Sass? He's got a mental health thing. Oh, really? If he dies, what do you think should happen to son of a boy dad? Probably go to the moon. Lil Sass should be like... And the word deceased. I think Lil Sass could be like a Batman. When one dies, you get another.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Yeah, definitely get another Little Sass. This Little Sass looks a lot like Francis. And then we also have Roan's nurse here. Dr. Dan. Dr. Dan, swing that mic close to yourself, Dr. Dan. What's up, Dr. Dan? How's it going, guys? Now it's Dr. Dan, swing that mic close to yourself. Dr. Dan, what's up, Dr. Dan? How's it going, guys?
Starting point is 00:01:06 Yeah. All right. Now it's Dr. Dan. Dr. Dan put this cast on me, and today Dr. Dan is in to get this cast off of me. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, he got a cast to get off of me. What was the hardest part? Any incidences that were like, yeah, I can't do what I want to do right now
Starting point is 00:01:26 I wanted to exercise and I really haven't been able to exercise Has everybody smelled it? That's it yeah That's such a lame I think we add a cast huff to the wheel Yeah that's such a lame answer Yeah it's been trouble fucking I need to get a cast so I can just be like wow I would be going to the gym
Starting point is 00:01:43 Well that's the hand you grab titties with, right, Ron? Yeah, it's my only, I mean, my right hand, I wouldn't know what to do. But I was told I wasn't allowed to sweat in it. I was told I wasn't supposed to exercise, even ride a bike. I wound up riding bikes because I just felt slovenly about myself. But the attention is nice, though. But people ask stupid fucking questions. They're like, what, did you twist it?
Starting point is 00:02:05 I didn't fucking twist it twist it you twist it like oh is it just a sprain no it's not just a sprain what did you twist it but the fucking
Starting point is 00:02:13 I have been like Aaron Rodgers off the fucking Perky's since I've had it on I've been playing every game on Perks does it help or like is it
Starting point is 00:02:21 yeah Dr. Dan gave me a script Dr. Dan gave me a legend you left your prescription book here actually yeah we've been running it up Does it help? Yeah, Dr. Dan gave me a script. Dr. Dan gave me a legend. You left your prescription book here, actually. Yeah, we've been running it up. I noticed it was a couple of sheets light.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Wait, so Dr. Dan, what are, like, we're going to, do we have a saw? Can we, can, Nick is the one who should saw. Yeah, you're right. Nick is the, well, I mean, you did surgery on. On his toe. Oh, my God. I did surgery on you. You should get to do it back on him. That's perfectly fair.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah. There's no really dangerous arteries in the wrist. Nah. That's a problem medically. You can leave now and just leave the saw. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I mean. Never saw you.
Starting point is 00:02:57 That's right. Yeah, no, there's no evidence that I was here at all. Okay, perfect. You're right. This isn't live. I gotta be honest. That subtitle on the screen up there is probably not doing me any favors. No, cast expert.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Are you a cast expert? I'm an orthopedic surgery resident in New York. So you're not a doctor yet? No, I am a doctor. Isn't residency like you're getting to be a doctor? No, you graduated med school over four years ago now. Which JD and scrubs are you? Season one, two, and three? I think you're season four scr ago now. Which J.D. and Scrubs are you? Season one, two, and three?
Starting point is 00:03:26 I think you're season four, Scrubs. You're season four? I haven't watched Scrubs in a while. Where'd you graduate in your class? I don't know. I was like the top third. Yeesh. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:03:38 Let's go. Let's go. And you can tell by the cast. It's upper echelon casting that he's done the entire time. It's been dangerous. You're a drink grab right there. I'm not going to lie. The second day when you came in and you were like, yeah, I got it super wet in the shower.
Starting point is 00:03:53 He can tell you. I DMed him on Twitter. I was like, how wet did it get? Well, I had a trash bag on it, a paper bag. I had a trash bag on it, but it kind of like trickled down and it was like getting wet. And when it was wet that day, it was wet for an entire was wet for an entire day dr dan can i ask you a question yeah i have a lot of questions too because this is you're now our doctor dr dan you're a resident yeah does your hospital look fondly on you just casting uninjured people uh no to be honest yeah sorry uh yeah i uh are you on a
Starting point is 00:04:23 sick day or are you taking off no i had no i had a i had a surgery this morning that i did but i had i made some room in the middle of the day what a day um kyle do you want to ask him about your lip thing um i was a mucosis cyst mucosis mucosis where is it uh was the medical term is mucosis iosis, I think. But it was in the inside of my lip for about a month. I was joking. It was about the size of a shooter marble, the one that you hit the other marbles with. Painless, but it wouldn't go
Starting point is 00:04:54 away. It did go away, but I was worried. Well, there was pain because people said you had an STD. There was emotional pain. Yes. Yeah, it was tough to be on my debut reality show and being on the perfect cameras. So what was your question? I just wanted to tell you I had it.
Starting point is 00:05:12 It did go away. I'll keep that in mind for sure. Maybe also had a cancer scare, and then you get red skin as well. I've never told you this. I think it's lupus. Thank God Sass isn't here today. Oh my God. What did I miss wheel-wise?
Starting point is 00:05:32 Well, let's get the... There's now a job wheel, which we can explain. We've taken off double writs permanently. Do you want to get this cast off, Ron? Dr. Dan, is there anything else? Dr. Dan's a busy guy, right? Do we want to get this cast off, Ron? Dr. Dan, is there anything else? Dr. Dan's a busy guy, right?
Starting point is 00:05:47 Do we need to know? No, I mean it's... Does anyone want to smell it while it's still on? Yeah, it's going to smell terrible, I'm assuming, right? Can we do something with it? I think a cast huff, we keep it in here every once in a while. I think we should smoke some of the cotton.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Castluge? Bullhead of the cotton. It's very nice, but it stinks after. I can't imagine people who have cast for, like, what's the standard wrist cast? Four weeks? Yeah, four to six. Six weeks? It's stinky.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Here's a question for you, Dr. Dan. This has nothing to do with my life whatsoever, but mixing mushrooms and cocaine at the same time, is that bad? Unrelated to your weekend. Correct. Don't do it. Do it. Probably don't do it.
Starting point is 00:06:35 I'm not here to tell you. Okay, alright, alright. I respect that. Relay that to your friend. Yeah, I will. Text him right now. Would you, this is another one. So I might every year do a pinky bet. If I lose, would you take off the tip of my pinky? Are you legally allowed to do that?
Starting point is 00:06:55 I mean, that's probably a little bit dicier than. What if you went offshore? On his wrist. What if you went to the international waters? Yeah. What if I rented a boat and we went on the East River? We sort of do like opening the college basketball. We just went on like an aircraft carrier.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Yeah. It kind of happened. Yes. Who's to say? Just the tip. Right. Who's to say how it got cut off? I was there.
Starting point is 00:07:15 You were there, and it got cut off. Right. That's not just the tip, what you just did. I want the nail up. Yeah. Oh, that's more than a tip. I think the tip's right at the very edge, right? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I want no nail. I mean, I've cut the tips of people's fingers off. Really? Well, like if somebody like does it to themselves and you have to like complete it and then try to, you know, rearrange the tip. Rearrange, okay. Wait, so how do people do it to themselves? They all get it caught in like a saw or something like that?
Starting point is 00:07:42 I mean, anything. So the Texans won't win the Super Bowl? yeah exactly deshaun watson gets hot you know and then yeah exactly is there any have you thought about your pinky bet for this year or you kind of just have to see half midway through the season it's whoever starts oh and two that was supposed to be a uh super bowl contender damn yeah that's fucking dicey. Yeah. People come back from O2. I kind of just, like, it's not an if, it's just a when. Yeah, yeah. Like, I probably won't have the tip of my pinky for the rest of my life. You're dying without a tip of your pinky.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Right, right. Once you realize that, I'm kind of, I've already mourned. You see that shark video just a couple weeks ago? It was, like, a dad and a shark, like, twisted his finger off, and he was just like, ah, I lost my finger. Like, he just was more frustrated than anything. It wasn't like he was crying or gushing blood.
Starting point is 00:08:30 It was more just like, God damn, this freaking finger's off. I saw my grandpa lose his finger. I was the only one there. He was working on the truck and his wedding ring got stuck in the tire and it rolled away. I saw my grandpa's finger get off.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Did he cry? No, no. He played it cool. I almost lost a finger as a baby. Really? Yeah, in an exercise bicycle chain. My cousin was riding it, and I put my hand into it. Sounds like your loser dad wasn't watching after you.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Yeah. I guess that's true. So, Dr. Dan, do you, like, how often do you just kind of, like, make it up? Make up what? Like, I don't really know what I'm doing here. Yeah. I mean. Or other doctors.
Starting point is 00:09:09 How much do they do? Every time you do surgery, there's like a certain amount of you just have to. That's the time to wing it, yeah. Yeah. No, I mean you go in with a plan always. And, you know, when you've done similar operations in the past, there's certain principles you stick to. But every case has like a little bit of a different is surgery like adrenaline start to finish or does it become like mundane you're like this is boring uh usually by the end so like when you're
Starting point is 00:09:34 first doing it every time you get to do something for the first couple of times it's like super exciting um and then when you're doing like the main parts of the operation it's always super exciting it's like stimulating your brain the most and you're thinking like the main parts of the operation, it's always super exciting. It's like stimulating your brain the most. And you're thinking about everything that's going on in the room. But, um, once you kind of like start like suturing the wound, close and stuff,
Starting point is 00:09:52 you know, a lot of people don't know this, but like a lot of times the attending surgeon, the person who's like most in charge, like once the main part of the surgery is done, they just like book it. Yeah. They just,
Starting point is 00:10:01 yeah, they leave, they go and dictate the case, like say what happened. And then, you know, as long as you have a qualified, like senior level resident in the room they'll just you know let them close the wound put the cast on that kind of stuff what's the hardest
Starting point is 00:10:11 surgery to do uh i mean there's all sorts of surgeries i don't know how to do because they're like not orthopedic but i mean orthopedic surgeries there's a lot of the pelvis is really complicated yeah so i forget about the pelvis How many dicks have you seen? I was going to say, I can handle the blood. I couldn't handle the sponge baths to the senile. I don't know if that's what he does. Yeah, no. Yeah, just generally.
Starting point is 00:10:36 I mean, nine to five, I'm not doing that. As a hobby. Well, you know. You're off the clock at a certain point. You get to just kind of enjoy yourself and spread your wings. Yeah, that's fucking gross. But I feel like some doctors before surgery will, like, blast some fucking heavy metal and shit. Like, get in the mood.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Like, get fired up for it. I mean, it's not even so much before the surgery, but pretty frequent. I mean, it varies surgeon to surgeon. But I would say most surgeons that I work with at least like some level of music playing during surgery. Who's the GOAT like television and movie doctor? Good question. I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:14 House was pretty cool. Just gimping around. Oh no. You don't like House? No, House is just Perry Cox from Scrubs and they just built a show around him. That's all it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. That's all it is. It's all ethical questions. Yeah, but they just took Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs and they just built a show around him. That's all it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. That's all it is. It's all ethical questions. Yeah, but they just took
Starting point is 00:11:27 Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs and they wrote a whole show about him and they got Hugh Laurie to play him. It's definitely George Clooney from ER. That kind of predates me.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Sorry. Yeah, what is he? A fucking 600 years old? He's not 70 years old like you. Don't sass me, Dr. Day. Don't fucking sass me in front of all these people.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Imagine walking around with a strong opinion about TV doctors. Dreamy as well. That's just Brandon's day-to-day. Yeah. List it, brother. I don't even know any of these people. Not to mention the doctors we can't even talk about anymore. Rookian?
Starting point is 00:12:01 Fauci? Yuki? Cosby? Buxtable? Ah. Yeah. Damn. All right. Bummer. Like Rookian Fauci Yuki Cosby Ah Damn Alright Bummer Alright let's get this shit off
Starting point is 00:12:10 Let's get the Yeah buzz me off I wanna see you Let's get Nick doing it I might as well Yeah let's get How do you get it off What is the tool
Starting point is 00:12:17 I don't think we can let Nick do it Let's see the tool I'll pull it out one second I don't think we can let Nick do it I like Dr. Dan I like Dr. Dan too If I ever get hurt I'm'm going to have to help. He's got a good bedside manner.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Even when he was putting it on, he just has a very calm... Like, I would take a cancer diagnosis from him. Dr. Dan, do you get bitches? He has to. Dude. He has to. Are you kidding me? He fucks with us.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah. I have a girlfriend. Oh, he's got a girlfriend. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Look at him, though. Oh, shit. He's beautiful, man.
Starting point is 00:12:46 He's a good-looking looking guy Nick's not using that It's like think about how everything And let's just pretend Dr. Dan's not here right now Think about like everything that has to go into his day to day For him to get to this point in his life Where he's like I don't know 30 A doctor Good looking
Starting point is 00:13:00 Like he just Every time you were getting drunk or being a fucking lazy piece of shit, Dr. Dan was doing something. His whole life is winning. When I had a bad day at work, post-Ruff and Rowdy, I had to take a week off. A bad day at work, I mean, I can't compare. Yeah. A pelvis doesn't get fixed.
Starting point is 00:13:18 No. That's right. I always forget about the pelvis. Always. I can get this wet just to cool the salt out. Okay. Oh, we got a wheel for that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Oh, yeah. You can go get it wet. There's a bathroom right there. I might remember it from... Imagine somebody waiting for surgery and just be like, where is Dr. Dan? And they just turn on... They go to YouTube
Starting point is 00:13:38 because they're bored. Oh, no. Someone should break their leg right now. Dr. Dan's wild. Nick, what are you doing? You're wearing shorts? Yeah, so Roan and I had to film a boxing thing this morning,
Starting point is 00:13:51 and the shorts that they bought for us, they accidentally got us youth sizes, so just in case of backup, I wore shorts, but I did fit into the youth shorts. You're Nazis showing right now. Yeah, yeah, it is. Like Sidney Sweeney. I'm standing in solidarity with her.
Starting point is 00:14:08 But you've been wearing shorts more often, though. Yeah. I like it. I feel like you're ashamed of your legs when they're beautiful. They're just... They're aerodynamic. They cut through the air.
Starting point is 00:14:20 So are our airplane wings. It was fire. You could bring that stool over, or I could come by here, or KB could switch seats if that's more. Actually, that'll probably work the best. Awesome. I love this.
Starting point is 00:14:33 KB, sorry, bro. I mean, other YouTube shows. Look at that tool. Live on air. Who? What are you talking about? I'm talking about the thing he's got in his hand. Oh, I thought you were fucking coming at Dr. Dan.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Look at it. I was about to bash you. Dan, I'm talking about the thing he's got in his hand. Oh, I thought you were fucking coming at Dr. Dan. Look at it. I was about to bash you. Dan, I guess just plug that in and then get the fuck out. Yes. While he's doing that, Brandon, your show's going to YouTube. Yes. You're in college football, and you have pool in the college football world, so if I was going to WVU Pitt, you could get me field passes or something, probably.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Need that? Yeah. Got you. Four. Four? I don't you. Four. Four? I don't know. Yeah, the Brandon Walker College Football Show goes on YouTube today. Exciting move.
Starting point is 00:15:11 By the way, Dan, can I get a retweet from you at 6 p.m.? Not you, Dr. Dan. I'm a big busy, sorry. No, no, no. You asked Dr. Dan. Dr. Dan has a Twitter. That's how he reached out to me first. So that'll satisfy your Dan retweet.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Okay, so we're going to cut it. Tell us what's going to happen first. I'm just going to sort of say your elbow. You can put it right here. That'd be great. Just say what's going to happen into the mic first, and then we'll spin it out of the way. All right, so basically you're just going to take this saw
Starting point is 00:15:36 and just straight up the back here. Just cut it that way and then flip it over the other way. What stops it from fucking cutting my skin or my veins? Well, me, and it's a special kind of a saw that really doesn't, and then flip it over the other way. What stops it from fucking cutting my skin or my veins? Well, me, and it's a special kind of a saw that really doesn't spin. It just vibrates, so it cuts through the fiberglass without cutting through any of the softer stuff. That's cool tech. The thing is it does get hot,
Starting point is 00:15:57 so that's why you'll see me put this on it to cool it down. Dr. Dan, how much money to cut him just a little bit? I don't know. I can give you $350,000. I thought you were asking how much is he going to pay? Cash. Is that Brandon's tattoo money? Yeah, that is his tattoo money. Well, that's irrelevant now because
Starting point is 00:16:15 I'm the king of the south, so it doesn't... That's true. What if the Brandon Walker YouTube channel gets 100k subs? Well, I don't have a YouTube channel. It's just on the Barstool Sportsbook. I'm actually staying away from YouTube channels. Yeah, we saw what happened in wrestling.
Starting point is 00:16:31 That's still going though, right? That's why I choose to have interviews that have sub-million views. Okay, let's do it. Cut him up. Hell no. What? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Dude, no. What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, no.
Starting point is 00:16:48 What's that? Oh. This is giving me the willies, dude. I feel like I'm in peril. Why am I so jealous? I want that sensation. I know. I want to feel that.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Fucking badass. I feel like at the end of Aladdin when the genie's... You're about to have your hand back, bro. I know. What about all my sympathy, though? Wait, leave it on, Doc. There's a Hey Arnold episode. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:17:32 It's right along my fucking... Oh my god. Look at that. That is scary. Dr. Dan's the best doctor ever. I felt a poke on that one, Dr. Dan's the best doctor ever. I felt a poke on that one, Dr. Dan. Okay. See it.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Flex out of it like The Rock did in Fast 6. I wasn't strong enough. Can we keep the tool? It's kind of like a lobster cutting. Jaws of life. Look at that. Yo-ho. Is he free?
Starting point is 00:18:18 Can KB rip this? Could I? Yeah, let him try. Come on, KB. What if he breaks your arm trying to do it? Yeah, that would be awesome. Come on, KB. I think you could.
Starting point is 00:18:32 It's just cotton. Has it been done? It's never been done before. I don't want to attempt a feat that is impossible. My boy doesn't want you to embarrass him, Dr. Dan. He can do it. He can do it. He can do it.
Starting point is 00:18:42 It's going to be hard. You could cut him with the sharp edge. You want to pre-cut it for him? He can't just rip. Oh, okay. Here we go. I'll. You're out.
Starting point is 00:18:53 And now we're calling some type of. Yeah. What are we listening to? Huh? Look at that. That's so cool. Can you smell it, Rum? Maybe you should be able to rip this, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:10 KB, I know. This is somehow more nerve-wracking than the song. Yeah, it's too quiet. I don't like listening to heartbeats. Yeah, it reminds me of my own. There's no way this can keep up. Yeah, like it's going to stop. Thanks for the reminder of my mortality, TJ.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Whoa. Look at that. That's how it goes? Whoa, dude, what happened to your arm? Ew. Ew, it's completely atrophied. Oh, yeah, it is. I'm skinny now.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Look at that wrist. Compare it to theied. Oh, yeah, it is. I'm skinny now. Look at that wrist. Compare it to the other. Oh, my God. Wow. I can't tell. I was always skinny. Who wants to take the first whiff? I do.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah. I would like a whiff as well. Oh, that's... This shit probably smells terrible, too. Yeah, I mean, this is the stuff that was against us. Oh, that doesn't smell great. Oh, this isn't as bad as that. Smell right on the...
Starting point is 00:20:08 Yeah. Oh, it smells... Oh, it's... It smells like dick. Breathe in. Breathe in, asshole. Breathe in, breathe in. I had a weak-ass burrito for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:20:23 What does that mean? Oh! All right, well, Dr. Dan, Breathe in. Had a weak-ass burrito for breakfast. What does that mean? Oh. All right, well, Dr. Dan, thank you. Thank you. Wow. That was... I mean, the fact that we had someone who was able to do this start to finish was incredible. What do you know about Roan, like, personally?
Starting point is 00:20:40 I know that he's had a cast on his wrist for the last week. Yeah. That's in his file, though. All right. We went to high school together, bro. So we should do a cast on his wrist for the last week. Yeah, that's in his file, though. We went to high school together, bro. So we should do a cast on the leg next? You actually do live in the same building as somebody I work with, too. Are you serious? Roan's making surgeon money?
Starting point is 00:20:56 No, it's somebody who works at our hospital. It's his secretary. I knew someone was going to do that. But yeah, she texted me when the video first came out. She was like, I live in Roan's building. One of your patients. Well, he is.
Starting point is 00:21:13 A little HIPAA violation? Yeah, that is true. By her. That is true by her. But, uh, damn, I don't think I know who it is, which makes it weirder for me. Sorry. No, no, no. It's not weird at all, dude. You've been the man through all this. You've been so clinically helpful. Actually, Dr. Dan's dating your wife.
Starting point is 00:21:30 You didn't realize that. Oh, no, Dr. Dan. This thing does smell. I thought the cast smelled familiar. It smells like Dr. Dan's dick. Shit. Okay, well, Dr. Dan, you are now our official doctor. Whenever we need you, we will be calling upon you.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Yeah, man, if you guys ever decide to do some dumb shit like this. I want full leg cast. Yeah, I can do anything. You said that would be way worse and harder. It would be worse. What about double arm? Oh, double arm would be funny. Does anybody get those cartoonish full body molds anymore?
Starting point is 00:22:03 Oh, yeah. No, we don't really but those are like plaster right didn't you say there's like two types you could get the plaster yeah yeah you can do yeah plaster is like the uh like rookie of the year where he's got like the big yeah yeah yeah wing yeah yeah exactly like the whole thing is just like white and you know paper mache kind of looking thing that's plaster this is obviously fiberglass the newer stuff that we use okay well yeah we'll definitely be calling upon you again we just got to figure out who and what yeah the full body cast for a day oh it'd be so funny or a hip cast something bad always happens the full
Starting point is 00:22:35 body is possible though i i mean i've i've never put one of those on i suppose it's possible anything's possible every day you're a. I would go to the bar. That's right. Wheel you there? Yeah. Can you do an ass? What is it like? Can you make me a diaper?
Starting point is 00:22:55 Just like a hip cast. Is that what that is? Ass isn't a bone. Could I put like a cast around like your... Everything. Like your dick and your ass? A dick and my ass. A full face would be funny
Starting point is 00:23:06 full face yeah just a couple holes yeah I probably wouldn't do that cause oh might like kill him
Starting point is 00:23:12 could you could you leave us the supplies nah I don't think so ah full face would be find a way oh funny yeah
Starting point is 00:23:20 you're passing the test though you're ethical as fuck yeah you are dude appreciate you, Dan. I'll walk you out and also wash my hands. Thank you, Dan. Anything to plug?
Starting point is 00:23:31 A vegetable. I got surgery tonight. A vegetable. Yeah, a vegetable. Come check me out. It'll be an OR5. It's going to be sick. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:47 That's cooler than a dumbass podcast. Much. Real low, guys. Thanks, sir. Thank you. We really appreciate it. If you guys need anything similar in the future, I'm always happy to do that. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Dr. Dan rules. Having this as a resource is dangerous. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Knowing that we can get a cast on and off very quickly. Very quickly. It just opens up so many possibilities. Amazing we went this far without an official show doctor.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I know. It feels good knowing that if anything bad happens, we just have Dr. Dan on call. We have a lawyer. We have a doctor now. We should get him a beeper just for us. That should be done immediately. Yeah. Love that guy. Awesome guy.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Too nice. And handsome. There's got to be something. That's just a person. That's just how people behave. Oh, they're nice. Yeah. Anyone else wanted to fucking beat Dr. Dan's ass? Because he was being way too nice.
Starting point is 00:24:46 It was his problem. All right. Well, what's up, boys? Hey, how was Alaska? It was beautiful. Feels good to have you guys back. Yeah, yeah. It feels great to be back.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Alaska was great. It was. I recommend everybody do it. It was great, yeah. Favorite trip you guys did? Easily. Yes, I was in awe. Easily.
Starting point is 00:25:04 And being around beautiful stuff, you don't really have to do anything for the video. That's very true. All you need is a drone. Yep. And you had a drone. Had a drone. Solely. Done.
Starting point is 00:25:17 You should just make a whole drone video and that's it. Yeah. It's going to look like a screensaver. Yeah. And they'll be like, wow, the boys crushed this one. Was this the best one? Do you think it was the best content? Oh, we had some really good stuff.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I think it's like the most unique stuff. Oh, yes. You can't really compare. Like the town that only has one building that everybody lives in and everything's in was odd. It's got a lot. It's going to be good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Love it. Very excited. Anyone get in any fights? No, it was like the most peaceful, unproblematic one week of my life. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Look at you guys.
Starting point is 00:25:55 You guys come back and you're like, oh, that kind of. Right, yeah. No, this was, it's amazing what like a nice trip can do. Yeah. You guys just went on vacation. It was, yeah. It was. Fuck yes. Probably my best vacation. Well, you guys just went on vacation. Yeah. It was... Fuck yes.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Probably my best vacation. Well, you guys stayed in the same house the whole time, right? Yeah. That's huge. But the house itself was huge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah. But having a central location that you can unpack. Oh, it was great. Yeah. It had a shuffleboard, like the tabletop shuffleboard, pool table.
Starting point is 00:26:21 How long was the flight? Eight hours? Seven and a half, but it was direct. Easy. Easy. This all sounds too direct. Easy. Easy. This all sounds too good. The flight there was not good.
Starting point is 00:26:28 What went wrong? The flight there was not good for me. Okay. Why? I got to the airport five hours early. Donnie told me to do red wine. It's the calming alcohol. So I had eight glasses of red wine.
Starting point is 00:26:43 And then the older woman sitting next to me got me two shots of tequila oh sit down on the plane uh first class very first seat i was i think i was right next to uh a yukon basketball coach uh the or i think a i don't know but i was so fucked up and uh the plane took off i fell. I woke up like four hours later. Sprinted to the bathroom. Puked. Oh. All in the plane bathroom.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Oh. Toilet. The sink. I felt awful. Did they hear you? Yeah. And the flight attendant was amazing. She rubbed my shoulders and let me sit in her seat.
Starting point is 00:27:19 And she sat me down. And she was like, what's the matter? And I said, oh, I get motion sickness. And she went. And she came back. And she was like, I don't know how to tell you this but we found blood in your vomit it was all the red wine uh i think you should go to the doctor as soon as we land like okay okay i will and then uh they had to close that bathroom so everybody in first class had to walk to the back of the plane to go to the bathroom i don't know if this is a real story yeah because she sent me a pic she showed me a picture of a... I believe it, dude.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Here's a picture of her. Red wine vomit very much looks like you're dying. Yeah. And she thought it was hilarious that they had to close the bathroom, and she put a sign over the sink that said, do not use icky. True story.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Did you get her number? She was very, very old. Yeah, I did. Okay, nice. Nice. I did. Okay, nice. Nice. What did we miss, though? Oh, yeah, we have Job Wheel now, which is going to be very fun when we hit it. So the idea is that if you hit Job Wheel, you have to apply for a job until you get one.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Okay. I've been wanting to do this on my own, but yeah. Yeah, we'll make it a video series. The funniest part about this is we'll be taking it from somebody that needs it Correct And maybe also getting Stephen Che a job so he's out of our life
Starting point is 00:28:33 When are we talking about that, by the way? Sweet Jobs I like Stephen Che is something He literally was like, credit to the Bucs. We didn't draft a rapist. This was...
Starting point is 00:28:49 You ever wonder what the perfect amount of Stephen Che is and then multiply that and see how far? This was too far. This was too much Stephen Che. He's just... And it's... He also... We were texting with him being like,
Starting point is 00:29:00 God damn it, Stephen. He's like, should I delete it? It's like, no, because he's the only person in the world who can get away with that. Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know what his line is. He's just, he actually texted me today when I was doing something. He's like, can you give me a comparison to our new hire, Dan Rappaport, in the NFL world? I was like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, what?
Starting point is 00:29:24 He's just. Not everything can be compared. He's just... He really is... If SNL did a parody of NFL fans, he would just be Stephen Jay's personality. Now, wait. I was trying to think of a worse version of his tweet
Starting point is 00:29:37 to quote tweet it with for like an hour. And you couldn't. It was the worst possible. To find a silver lining in the rape scandal. That's the worst thing you could do. I was thinking of like, instead of tweeting it, it was a video and he said, rapey pee. Yeah. Oh, gee.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Yeah, rapey pee. He also, the fact that he assumes that it was some like moral line in the sand that the Bucs took. You got to do it in the impression. Yeah. I'm not doing it. What would he say? Rapey pee? Rapey pee? Yeah. You got to do it in the impression. I'm not doing it. Ray Pee Pee?
Starting point is 00:30:09 Yeah. The thing is, he didn't think of this as a tragedy. He thought of this as a strategic move. They knew. They didn't tell. They pulled a fast one on the Bills. I also like the quotes around Punk God, so I'll read it out to anyone who's listening on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:30:23 He tweeted, Shout out to the Buccaneers front office and scouts for not drafting matt oriza they took punter jake kamarda just before the punt god was taken now oriza is out of a job just leaves out why lots of background work done during the pre-draft process that doesn't get any shine but should today and he thought he was like doing his like friends in the front office solid yeah like i'm giving him some shine some major props like yeah they withheld that yeah dude i got steven shade in a bad way this weekend oh no he hit me up at 12 30 on saturday and he was like dude i know your buddy colin's in town but uh i have this like fantasy draft fantasy league that i want i'm trying to get into. It's Mince's League.
Starting point is 00:31:10 And I want you to like manage a team with me. And I was like, all right, I'm just going to be sitting here watching college football anyway. It was – it started at 2 o'clock. I tapped out at like 6.30. What? It was going on at 8 o'clock. I left my headphones on and I would just hear them still like auction drafting players on at 8 o'clock. I had left my headphones on, and I would just hear them still, like, auction-drafting players at, like, 8 o'clock when he fired off that tweet. Just a day of being on a Zoom call with Stephen Che and Mincy and all Mincy's boys from back home. Just the fucking longest slog of a fucking fantasy draft.
Starting point is 00:31:40 What the fuck? It was preposterous. We had three players three hours in. Who's that guy? That's Howell. You guys did miss Mincey got fired. Did he? Oh, that's what we missed.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Yeah, that is what you missed. That would have been the best. It was something else. As soon as it happened, I'm like, he's going to come out of this on top. Oh, he did. It seems like he did. I came back Friday to get a charger, and he was pacing the office. He was the last man standing.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Cornered me for 45 minutes, told me why it's the best thing that ever happened to him. It's because Dave sees that he's the star and the next heir of the company. He said that? Yeah. He is. He's the heir of the company. That is true. Yeah. He is. He's the heir of the company. That is true. Oh, but it is true. Dave is like
Starting point is 00:32:29 it's just iron sharpens iron. The only reason Dave got mad Mincy's first piece of content is going to be fire. The only reason Dave got mad is because he saw he sees a young Dave Portnoy in Ben Mintz.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Yeah. So he was. If you get a chance to coach yourself, coach him hard. Look at the numbies. Wow. Well, he had Northwestern Moneyline. Yeah, true. Why don't you have college football experts?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Didn't you have Nebraska? He's a college football expert. Why didn't y'all sell my crown? Why did y'all sell my crown? What? Because it sucked. They sold my crown. It literally was like
Starting point is 00:33:07 if you pass them together like paper. No, but this one's too... I can't wear this one. Mincy probably bought it with all that money he won on Northwestern Moneyline. Yeah, he was fucking... Was that a hammer whale play?
Starting point is 00:33:17 Oh, it was a hammer whale play. Yeah. He was bragging about it the entire fantasy draft. Oh, no. Come on. He's down 15 to 25, somewhere in that range.
Starting point is 00:33:28 And, man, that's impressive. Yeah, he's skinny as fuck. He's down 15 to 25 pounds and up 15 to 25,000 gambling, bro. He's fucking raking. Yeah. What about a new journalist, right? Huh?
Starting point is 00:33:42 You got a golf guy? Yeah, yeah. Jake's buddy? Yeah, he's the one, yeah. Stephen Che wants me to give him an analogy of who he's like in the NFL. Were you able to? I don't know. I just didn't respond to that text.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Meanwhile, Nick got cut out of the money on foreplay. Poor bastard. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I saw that. How long have you been writing for them? Since before I started, I was freelancing, writing the comedic bits of it. I saw Rick's tweet that they hired him as the fourth chair.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Correct. I thought they had four chairs. It seems like Lurch might be out. Oh, okay. He posted a video saying as such. Forcefully? He was forcefully saying it. Screaming it. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Is he still going to do cameos, Lurch? I'm going to Stu's house tomorrow. That pool's going to be empty when they get out. That water has been displaced violently. What is Frank doing? What's Mintz doing? Is he standing like
Starting point is 00:34:44 a frog? Or is he like six feet apart on the ground? Yeah, he's perched. He's like a gargoyle. Frank's caught constantly on living. Frank is drowning. Run and roll. It's Aria.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Aria. Run and roll. All right. Yeah, we're going tomorrow. I believe there was a new mint sound on Pick Central today as well. Really? Mm-hmm. Can you tease it?
Starting point is 00:35:21 One of my favorites. To the point where I even said, what was that sound? It was a good tease. It was like a car that wouldn't turn over in a crank. I'll get DMs from guys that'll just be like a Pick Central timestamp. I'm very appreciative. Love that. Keep doing that.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Keep doing that. We've got to have them make a compilation of it, too. I want to just put them all together. Sound like some sort of dubstep. Yeah. Sound like bangerag. Someone do that. The guy who did the It's the Yak theme song, he must be able to chef up some shit like that.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Yeah. Kyle, I don't know about having you over on that side of the room. I don't like it either. Get over here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I have to go to Les with um the the one time that we tried to do a wheel slice that was supposed to be good it ends up as the ultimate punishment for
Starting point is 00:36:11 for me because i have to go with steven and nate oh you got that yeah with steven and nate and roan okay but like fiscally you can swing it yes but going to lunch with steven to a place that he's going to be like oh what's this yeah are you going to be pressured to buy theirs i think so i think so too so you're the worst person to get this yeah it's just going to be interesting uh he would have bought ours i bet too yeah i definitely i would have bought everyone yeah there's a wrinkle i can tell by your no the wrinkle has already hit the fact that it's Stephen Che and Big Cat is hilarious. That is. And it's, I think, the funniest pairing.
Starting point is 00:36:52 One of the only pairings that could have turned it into a punishment. Yeah. But somehow it is. It's like the conversation I don't think is going to flow. No. No, no, no, no, no. It's going to be a little herky-jerky, like learning to drive stick shift for the first time.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Yes. KB, I like having you back over here, bro. I like being able to look at you. Yeah, this is where I belong. Oh, is it nice to look at him? Mm-hmm. I always feel like he's got my fucking... I got your back.
Starting point is 00:37:17 He's got my nine. Mm-hmm. It's in case some fucking shit flies off. Any crazy shit happens. Who's that guy? Who is him? It was him. That was one of the, you missed the company meeting.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Yeah, what happened? It was fucking sweet. Actually, Nick won an award. Yeah. Best on the anus and the yak. Newcomer of the year? Yeah, so today is my one year at Barstool.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Congrats. Thank you. No place I'd rather be. And yeah, I won newcomcomer of the Year. That's beautiful. It was you and Trent. Hoop Trent. Hoop Trent.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Brandon, anything happen that you took offense to? Usually we leave these all-company meetings where you're like, I got left out of something. Oh, I was the one that did the video. Oh, you did? I was the Wayne Brady of the video. Handed out the award. Oh, he got – No, I was the one – I did the video. Oh, you did? He's the Wayne Brady of the video. Handed out the award. Okay, so we did an internal video where I had to hand out all the awards.
Starting point is 00:38:11 It was supposed to be Mintzy. Mintz did it. Mintz recorded the whole thing. It was like 20 minutes long, and then the King of the South thing happened, and they rushed me into a studio and said, Brandon, redo it. That's awesome. And so I had to redo everything he did, and he came up to me that morning and said, I think people are going to turn this afternoon when they see my video I did.
Starting point is 00:38:26 And I had already recorded his part. Oh, no. He knows that was for just a private meeting, right? Yeah. You did great, man. Mincy definitely would have been like, by the end of the year, been like, I did that video back in August. I'm still recovering from the video.
Starting point is 00:38:39 You got the people going. Yeah. Mincy will find a way back. Of course he will. He always does. He find a way back. Of course he will. He always does. He climbs his way back. Yeah, that's one of the... Wide Strait Panic's probably got some shows coming up.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Hogs for the Cause has their fall run that they're about to do. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, for football season. The prep work should have begun months ago. Yeah, you've got to refine your technique. You've really got to hone in your technique. I like that guy. You like Hank? Yeah, it took me a while your technique. I like that guy. You like Hank?
Starting point is 00:39:06 Yeah, it took me a while. Boss man? Hanky Hank. Big boss man? What do you like about him? Has he given you any duties? No, he's a great boss. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:39:18 Yeah, things have been exponentially better for us. Who was it before him? I don't remember. I don't think I've met him. That's fucking sweet to have Hank in a power position like that. Yeah, that's huge. Yeah, don't fuck it up. Did you guys cancel Sidney Sweeney?
Starting point is 00:39:37 I'm down to. You got to factor in her two giant titties. I said that on the run down. I was like, could you imagine? I would love to talk to the person who's like, man, I'm a big fan of Sidney Sweeney's titties. Wait, her mom is a Trump fan? I just can't get hard anymore. His titties don't work anymore.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Oh, wow. Wait, Owen went viral. Yeah. Somebody went viral just quote tweeting me. Somebody went more viral quote tweeting you. It's tough. You infiltrated Hispanic Twitter? Yeah, this is why they've all been canceled.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Yeah. A few different places. Who are the last two? I don't know that one, but she's trans, but liked a non-binary medical post. Oh, shit. And then Maude Apatow's a nepotism non-binary medical post. Oh, shit. And then Maude Apatow's a nepotism baby. Yep.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Yeah. Cancel her ass. Canceled. Canceled. These other two have dirt on them. Zendaya used to date Ben Simmons. Really? Did she? Early on, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Sheesh. So, cancel her ass. Canceled. Canceled. This shit is gross. I refuse to play basketball. He's mean. He's mean?
Starting point is 00:40:49 To his basketball brethren. He's Australian. Yeah, but his accent's weird. It goes in and out. Yeah, because he's trying to lose it. Because he's ashamed of who he is. He doesn't have any pride. He doesn't do the haka.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Mm-hmm. Oh, that's right. That's exactly what I love. He has no facial Maori tattoos. A lot of Paulies in Alaska. Yeah. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:11 More than not. A lot of... Polynesian brands? Polynesian. Did you guys get in the water? Was it cold? We had wet. I think I was like one of 12 people ever to swim in this glacial pool that's way below zero.
Starting point is 00:41:24 The one that you guys took the helicopter to? The helicopter could only fit two of us. So I had to go to Dave and Buster's. A win for you. I won a whoopee cushion. There's no way you wanted to go. They were probably like, we have this four-seater helicopter. You're like, no, take the two.
Starting point is 00:41:39 It was a three-seater, and I was like, okay. And then they were like, well, we have to bring a camera. So I also saw a once-in-a-lifetime thing as okay. And then they were like, well, we have to bring a camera. I also saw a once-in-a-lifetime thing as well. Havenbusters in Alaska? No, I saw the world's largest chocolate waterfall. And I interviewed the man who made it. Whoa! Wow. And ironically, he was
Starting point is 00:41:55 four foot one. Whoa! That was really big to him. What do you do, work in a chocolate factory? As a matter of fact. Did he talk like that? I do. Shit. That's matter of fact. Did he talk like that? I do. Shit. That's funny as fuck. So I came out the winner there.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Agent. Big time. That's dope as fuck. How are the glaciers looking? Unbelievable. Yeah, still intact? Yeah. So total bullshit, climate change?
Starting point is 00:42:22 I have nothing to worry about. Okay, cool. Yeah, no, no, it was fine. I was in there. Reddith Thunberg's Nepotism. It's on the ground. Yep. I'm going to quote you guys, by the way, in all my internet battles.
Starting point is 00:42:32 It was all good, yeah. I had a friend who went there. Solely wore a t-shirt. Yeah. What was the air tip there? I saw that pic of Solely. It wasn't t-shirt weather. Yeah, it was like 40s, but we were also just in a glacial pool, and
Starting point is 00:42:46 he had to come out and change into a t-shirt. No complaints. You look good in that t-shirt. That's us mackerel fishing. Wow. Yeah, that was sick. No, halibut fishing. You guys look awesome. Did you eat them? I was sewered. Oh, we caught a cod. I caught a 25-pound cod.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Wow. We had it for dinner. You ate it? And while we were making dinner, Fasoli, we were in remote Alaska in a lodge. And Fasoli's like, hey, do you care if my uncle comes over? Like, first of all. What? Yeah, you just have an uncle that lives in Alaska. And he's like, yeah. And then we saw the uncle.
Starting point is 00:43:17 And I come out, and it was a black man. Fasoli has a big black uncle. Nice. A big black Alaskan uncle. A babu. Look at these big black Alaskan uncle. A baboo. Look at these guys. You guys look awesome. That is a sick photo.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Except my ankle. The reflection there. I get rickets. Your ankle, your whole leg. Yeah, I look warped. You need Dr. Dan. Jordan, are you on the far left? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:40 You've got a sassy hip. You like Tumnus. I don't know. Yeah, it's just out of all the cool shots. Yeah, you look like when a girl does a bad Photoshop with a bathroom selfie. Yeah, I think so. That leg doesn't zoom in on that leg. I can't explain it.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Zoom in on that leg. You don't have to. You will stay in the bathroom. What is that? How does that happen? What the fuck? How does that happen, folks? Is that camera trick? I don't know, dude. I know it's the albedo is it hot there what the fuck oh you gotta get that checked
Starting point is 00:44:13 out i don't know where like my foot is and like what's the harry potter spell where the bones get removed there are two little magnets in your shins i don't know man man. Everything else, yeah, those guys are bad. You look badass, Kyle. What was it like with Donnie out there? Donnie, doing content with Donnie, he's on content mode all the time. What does that mean? Everything he's doing, he has his little Osmo camera out, and it's tiring. I don't know how he does it.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Is he being funny? Yeah, yeah. He operates at a different level. It's insane, yeah. He's a machine. Yeah. That's sick. I'm trying to go somewhere with Donnie.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I wonder what's going to happen, because Donnie's getting married. Oh, wait. Maybe when he becomes the wonton dad. Not saying it's happening anytime soon, but what happens to this? To your guy's little thing, your cosinostro. I don't know what that means. Doesn't mean our little thing. Our thing, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Oh. Not to interrupt or anything, but Roan, big announcement for you. Yeah, it is. Doesn't mean our little thing. Our thing, yeah. Our little thing. Oh. Yeah. Not to interrupt or anything, but Roan, big announcement for you. Yeah, it is. Oh, my God. Yes. Pipe, pipe, pipe. Shit. Facts.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Patrick Beverly podcast. Oh, I thought you were going to be a dad. I was like, what the fuck? I don't know. You could see how that would be. Yeah, that's why it was not great. Yeah, that was bad timing. Yeah, you did look at me like I had something to eat.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I was like, what the fuck? I've never seen that look on you, Big Cat. Yeah, that was bad timing. Yeah, you did look at me like I had something to eat. I was like, what the fuck? I've never seen that look on you, Big Cat. Well, I was just like, whoa. But hurt that I hadn't told you. Yeah, I was very hurt. I was very, very hurt, yeah. I would never let you find out that way.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Incredible, incredible stroke of luck, him getting traded to the Lakers. The day before. The day before. It like, God shined down on us from the Jazz to the Lakers. Can Laker Dan go back this year? Ooh. Whoa. He's going to have to, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:45:51 Might kill LeBron, but I'm down. It's worth it. Is he going to be in the office at all for any of these? LeBron, yeah. Yeah, LeBron should be in for most. He said he's coming in to do boy that. Sass wanted to meet him, so I asked. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Is Sass a little jealous? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He congratulated me, so you asked. Oh, yeah. Is Sass a little jealous? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He congratulated me, so you know that he sees me. Who typically ignore. Congratulations, man. When's the first episode? Oh, that'll be fun.
Starting point is 00:46:14 I got to meet Kuzma. I think it's going to sometime in October. I think this is the first episode. Fuck yes. It's going to be incredible. Yeah, you got to meet Kuz, but Kuz is in D.C. now. He's in Washington now. I'm pumped I'll listen to you talk basketball.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Yeah. Because I know you got it. I want to. You know ball. I love ball. but Kuz is in D.C. now. He's in Washington now. I'm pumped I'll listen to you talk basketball. Yeah. Because I know you got it. I want to. You know ball. I love ball. I don't know if I know ball. More than NFL. I see your tweets.
Starting point is 00:46:30 You know ball. But I really want to. It's going to be an exercise in keeping my mouth shut and letting people who actually play basketball talk about basketball. I think this is going to really hone your already razor sharp shit stirring muscle. I hope I can stir shit on a macro level. That would be sweet, to stir shit that makes different shit waves. Are you going to ask him about Westbrook?
Starting point is 00:46:55 Westbrook? Yeah. I'm basically going to take pages out of Skip's book, just talk shit on the Lakers the whole time. Because he doesn't like Pat Bev. I know. He said that all he does is run around. He's got you all fooled.
Starting point is 00:47:08 He's got you all fooled. He just runs around. Yeah, I don't know. I'm curious as to what, like, I have to, like, think consciously of what, like, my voice as in my perspective is going to be on the show. I think it's know-it-all basketball fans. That's, like, the worst type of basketball fans. I think you've got to tell him what he's doing wrong and who's good yeah like like
Starting point is 00:47:31 i don't enjoy basketball discourse that like ranks players or just like says people suck and stuff like that but it's like am i gonna have to do that i don't think so you're just gonna find out what like you want to know i'm not you align common fan. I'm going to disagree with Nick. You better have a goat when you show up. You better have a goat. You better have a goat. I'm having a goat because I just saw him going at my goat, Kevin Durant. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:47:54 He's beefing with my goat. I'm going to have to fuck him. Pep Evans? Last week he had a little back and forth with Durant. Oh, yeah. Blame KD, yeah. Blame KD mode. Shit.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Anybody he hasn't gone back and forth with. Chris Paul, he went back. Dame, yeah, he respects Dame. Yeah, he does respect Dame. Yeah, you're right, Kyle. He has a few studio albums under his belt. Dame does, yeah. I think he owns his own Toyota dealership.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Yeah, you're one of Dame's biggest guys. Yeah. You're a big Dame guy. You know Mark Wahlberg has a bunch of... Did you know that, KB? Mark Wahlberg has a bunch of Chevy dealerships in Ohio. No. Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Hell no. What? Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet. Since when? Have we not done a live show there? It's called Mark Wahlberg... Yeah, he's not. Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet.
Starting point is 00:48:42 I thought it was hiding in plain sight. What? Yeah. Last place you'd think to look. We thought it was hiding in plain sight. What? Yeah. Last place you'd think to look. We do a live show there? Yes. I thought you would know that for sure. We had him on on Friday and I asked him about it.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Look. Oh. Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet in Ohio. Did you ask him about September 11th, 2001? Did not. Didn't he say he was supposed to be on the plane? Oh, he would have stopped it. Oh, he would have stopped it.
Starting point is 00:49:04 He would have stopped it. We all agree. have stopped it. He would have stopped it. We all agree. You can't ask him that. You know that as a fact. That's canon. Fifth, five car dealerships in Ohio. Why? I wonder why.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Dame only has one. Yeah. Who? Dame. Dame Lord? Look at this. It was in Columbus? Number one used car super center.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Shit. Well, how old was he when he got his first one? You would have seen that. I think this is on the way to the zoo. But I'm so excited when I'm headed to the zoo, I don't look. I got tunnel vision, baby. You got blinders on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Zoo crew. Oh, my God. You and Stephen Che. I would give it all up. You got to do a live show from there. How about this guy? That's a fish. Yeah would give it all up. You got to do a live show from there. How about this guy? That's Fish. That's Fish, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:49 What's his nickname? He's a new Chicklets editor. He's Canadian. Last night we were eating dinner when we were doing Pardon My Take. He came in and just
Starting point is 00:49:59 kind of smiled at everyone. Yeah, yeah. He's very Canadian. He's Canadian but went to SCAD. He was off-putting. I know a lot about fish now. Go to ShadyRays.com. Use code YAK for 50% off.
Starting point is 00:50:14 For real? Pairs of polarized sunglasses. Oh, what? Ad copy says it's the only sunglass on the planet that can make Brandon Walker look cool. That's true. Brandon's such a dick. I was wondering where the prep sheet was.
Starting point is 00:50:27 He didn't pass them. He just stopped at his spot. Didn't pass them. Nick, wipe your nuts on his crown. I'm wearing a compression short. I'm saying through the compression short. I don't want to disrespect the crown. It's not about the person.
Starting point is 00:50:40 It's the crown itself. Title. Keep asking. No moisture will get through because you're wearing Shady Ray shorts which are sunglasses. Mm-hmm. I know we just did that one.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Shady Rays are... It's blowback. That was bad. People kind of start neglecting sunglasses around this time of year and the sun gets no less bright.
Starting point is 00:50:58 It reflects off the snow. It's brighter. It's brighter. And it started snowing today. Mm-hmm. It did. The leaves have been falling. Dude, I've been noticing that. I love it. It's brighter. And it started snowing today. Mm-hmm. It did. The leaves have been falling. Dude, I've been noticing that.
Starting point is 00:51:08 I love it. I like it. It's August. Love it. And there's a ground full of fallen leaves. Brandon, we just finished Roback. Can you do Shady Rays? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:16 You just didn't pass any of the sheets, Brandon. Why are you out of breath? Why are you so out of breath? So are you just shitting? Because you just tweeted. Shady Rays? I was peeing, and I just tweeted on the way back. What'd you tweet?
Starting point is 00:51:26 Some dude. He said he's not, but you're blocked for having the same Twitter name, HungNateLow. Yeah, I blocked a guy on Twitter on the way back. Yeah. Shady Rays. I almost brought him. It was an ad copy. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Okay, Owen. The first sentence was about you. We already read it. It's making sense. Right, Owen. I just got back from peeing, and I'm out of breath. You took a shit. You took a shit. It was a while. We already read it. It's making sense. Right, Owen. I just got back from peeing and I'm out of breath. You took a shit. You took a shit.
Starting point is 00:51:47 It was a while. It was a while. It was not a while. You left at 148. No, I went to the fucking kitchen because Stefan said he had banana bread in there, but Chris Klemmer was eating the last piece of the banana bread and I didn't get any of the goddamn banana bread. I always stop for banana bread.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I had some. It was great. It was delicious. It wasn't even banana bread. You already had a piece? Yeah. You were going back for seconds? I was going to the bathroom. You mad at Klemmer for having his first? He was jerking off. It was great. It was delicious. You already had a piece? Yeah. You were going back for seconds? I was going to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:52:06 You mad at Clemmer for having his first? He was jerking off. I was going to the bathroom. I saw Stefan. I said, Stefan, it was delicious. He said, I think there's one more piece in the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen to see Clemmer actually dabbing the sides of his mouth. Disgusting.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Licking his eyeball. Eyeball licking good. Shady Rays has the only sunglasses on the planet that can make Brandon Walker look cool, so they'll definitely work for you, too. We need Roback, actually. Yeah, Roback. Oh, but we need Roback. We already did Shady Rays.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Go to Shady Rays right now. I was wearing them all weekend in Miami. Shady Rays, best sunglasses in the game. The best way to describe Roback is the best fit, best feel. We can't stop wearing Roback, and when it comes to the quality, these guys do not miss. They've got performance polos, quarter zips, performance shorts, and awesome performance hoodies.
Starting point is 00:52:53 So use the code YAK on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week. Again, that's code YAK at R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. That's Roback.com. 20% off polos, quarter zips, and hoodies with the code Yak. Boom. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Thank you. Did they let you hear it on Pick Central about that fucking Nebraska pick? Well, they did, but I knew that was just a bad pick. It's all right. So why'd you make it? Because I'm an idiot. Because I'm a goddamn idiot. It's week zero for me, too.
Starting point is 00:53:25 I thought you were the sharpest mind in college football. I'm the zero for me, too. I thought you were the sharpest mind in college football. I thought you were the king of college football. I am the best mind in college football. Well, clearly not. Dave had Northwestern. He also had Hawaii. So, I mean, there's others. So you both got one wrong.
Starting point is 00:53:38 No, I went one for two. Are you trying to lean into the knowledge aspect? Or why don't you just go for you're the most entertaining? And you don't have to worry about me? Oh, you can't really do that. Well, I could. Ben Mintz is far more entertaining. Because the knowledge thing is just – Didn't I tell you that shit was going to happen?
Starting point is 00:53:53 I want field passes from you. Okay, all right. So let's go – What shit was going to happen? So YouTube tonight, the Brandon Walker College Football Show. Ben Mintz going to be on it? I said I'm going to ask for retweets tomorrow and I'm going to ask for some publicity
Starting point is 00:54:06 and Dan's going to turn it into Ben Mintz Hour. Yeah. Brandon, how about a viewer goal? A million views on this video, we get to pierce your ears. You have diamond studs for a week. And they'll heal. Oh, I'm terrified of that,
Starting point is 00:54:21 but a million views on it. Yeah, a million. And you can't use Ben Mintz to boost the views. Stop doing that. He sucks. Fine, you can use him. Can we just act like he sucks? Can we tell the fucking truth?
Starting point is 00:54:32 Yeesh. Just fuck. He's just used to bother me. It's going to be hard for you to get Ben Mintz after these things you said. This breakdown would be a lot more appealing if you had diamond studs. I'll try to book him for you, though. It's a 96 PM. if you had diamond studs. I'll try to book them for you, though. It's 9 to 6 p.m. It doesn't get old at all.
Starting point is 00:54:50 No, it doesn't. Now, will you be answering callers? Will you be answering commenters on the live chat? It'll still be calls. Callers? Okay. What about both? I'll be able to see the comments.
Starting point is 00:55:00 We have capability to put them on screen. Is Ben Mintz allowed to call in? Yep. I just asked a simple question. I don't know why you're doing this. I asked a simple question. I'm doing it because of your reaction. I know that, but I'm reacting because you keep doing it.
Starting point is 00:55:14 You can't stop reacting. The day you stop reacting is the day that I move on to something else. That's not true. I didn't react for a while. It was in there, though. It was in there. Deep, pulling it out. Things have been good for you.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Stop reacting. You'll just stop doing it? Yeah. You got a Mercedes. You did. Who are you talking to, Big Cat or Brandon? There's no Jordans. Who are you talking to?
Starting point is 00:55:42 You have a Mercedes. What car does Ben Mintz have? I don't know. Exactly. Jalopy. Yeah, if it cranked. If it cranked. He's actually more environmentally conscious living in the city.
Starting point is 00:55:57 He doesn't have to have a car. I moved beaches. I moved from Point Pleasant to Bradley Beach for the last week of this. Nice. Did you get out of the first? Point Pleasant? You were that the last week of this. Nice. You were that against Point Pleasant? You were that against it or did time run? I had a two-week rental there and I had to do another week rental for this one,
Starting point is 00:56:12 but I did not like Point Pleasant. You just have a family of gypsies. It's been a rough summer, huh? Yeah. They have timed beaches. And Point Pleasant? Yeah, you can't go on after like 3 o'clock. What?
Starting point is 00:56:23 Ridiculous. It's the worst. What is that? This one, you can go drown. It's fine. I don't care at all like 3 o'clock. What? Ridiculous. It's the worst. What is that? This one, you can go drown. It's fine. It doesn't care at all. Does your wife have a tan? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Oh, my God. Tan lines? It's been in the sun for a couple weeks. Wow. Do you wear like a drawstring backpack to the beach? Oh, daddy. You better get the best for me. Huh? Do you wear like a drawstring backpack to the beach? And so when you're here, who's applying the lotion to her back? I'm actually out starting tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:56:59 You going to Jersey? For a little bit, yeah. Hey, Kat, how many days was your bachelor party? Try not to talk about Ben Mintz. Yeah, no Ben Mintz. How many days was your bachelor party? Would you rather us talk about your wife's titties or Ben Mintz? I was thinking drawstring titties are usurping seatbelt titties. Really?
Starting point is 00:57:17 Really. Drawstring backpacks aren't the rage anymore. I know, but yeah. Wait, John, what are drawstring? The strings of a drawstring. Can I see, could I please see it used in a sentence? What if they went cross-body with a drawstring with an Urban Elf?
Starting point is 00:57:36 Oh, the drawstring. I think it's still too wide. I think it's still too wide. Is it cross-body tote? Or do you mean both straps? Not a tote. It's something about the thinness. It's because it's thin.
Starting point is 00:57:46 But it's also the tension. It is really pressing. Can we see some? Cross-string titties. Yeah. I'd like to see that. I know TJ has safe search off, though. He's sick.
Starting point is 00:57:58 Horny bastard. Googling porno. You think you'd be able to fuck to completion in the shower wearing bowling shoes? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I dare you all to try tonight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:13 What were you doing this weekend, my boy? I went bowling Thursday. What are you going to do? All the shoes. I have to fuck tonight. My wife told me I have to fuck tonight. Whoa. On Brandon Walker YouTube day?
Starting point is 00:58:23 Yeah. That's why. Yeah. That's why. Yeah. Poor bastard. You should think about doing it on the YouTube. Oh, yeah. That's what Adam 22 does. That would work.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Yeah. So we haven't talked about it. Your episode was just an hour of college football, and then you fuck your wife. Yeah, at the end. You're like, this is what a real man does. You fuck your wife and a guest. So Jerry shit himself. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit, yeah. All-time video. Oh, it was the best. Be like, this is what a real man does. You fuck your wife and a guest. So Jerry shit himself. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Oh, shit, yeah. All-time video. Oh, it was the best. We just play it. Wait. The Rock is Shrek? I don't ask for a lot. I want you, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Oh, no, that's Gordon Ramsay. That's Gordon Ramsay. I want the tits one that looks like the Tide logo. That does look... Yeah. That's sick. Oh, shit. That's metal. Yeah. Oh, my God. Just letting everyone know you, shit. That's metal.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Oh, my God. Just letting everyone know you're a fan of tits. But it wouldn't even make sense to have, like, the Tide logo on them. Oh, no sense at all, but that doesn't matter. Yeah. How did that come to conception? That's so funny. So funny to have it on a backpack, too, because if the girl sees it, you are back already to her.
Starting point is 00:59:26 So she has to kind of run around your front and tap you and then dump her titties out. Wait, I am interested in you. Wait, you're funny? It's just showing that you're solidarity with women. Tits. Big fan. Just seeing tits as other logos. That might be my next blog.
Starting point is 00:59:50 I'm doing zero blog 30, though, so June 28th next year, I will be dropping my blog of logos, but they say tits. What is zero blog 30? Not blogging. 30th, 31, yeah. Nate is so mad. Nate spoke at the company meeting. Yeah, he did.
Starting point is 01:00:08 How'd that go? He actually did very well. He threw a jab at Brandon right off the get. I did nothing. I was just sitting there. It was pretty funny. I texted him later and said, what was that? He said, I was just trying to center myself. I needed somebody. That is actually a very funny response.
Starting point is 01:00:24 He was talking. Nate was talking. He was like, guys, too. Yeah, that is actually a very funny response. He was talking. Nate was talking, and he's like, and guys, here's what you're going to want to do when you're blogging. Brandon Walker. And then just kept going on at this point. That's nice. Called me out in front of the whole company. Got incredible applause. Raucous laughter.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Yeah. And he texted me later and said, you were the first person I saw, so I had to say your name. Mince was mentioned like four times in the meeting. Did you see when we tried to join the meeting, Donnie clicked the wrong link in what we saw? No. Go to Donnie's Twitter. We were all sitting around the table ready for this meeting.
Starting point is 01:00:53 It's early in Alaska, and we click on the link, expecting to see Dave and Erica. And there was just one guy that also clicked the wrong link. Oh, no. I heard that Rico's, someone put a slide up of all the units Rico's on? It was in the company stats. Oh, no. This many million followers, this many.
Starting point is 01:01:12 In the bottom right, it said. Oh, my God. Of course. Oh, man. Of course. Really close to the webcam. Oh, shit. Rico came to my apartment Thursday.
Starting point is 01:01:23 What? It's a weird little tidbit I thought I'd throw in. Wait, you went to the party, right? Yeah. How was the party? No real drama.
Starting point is 01:01:30 You went bowling, Rico came to your apartment and you went to the party on Thursday? I went bowling post-party. Wow. You had a day. Did you go to the party?
Starting point is 01:01:40 Yeah, Rico came over with everybody and then we went, but it was cool, yeah. Nice. To see,
Starting point is 01:01:44 because Moscow's a hero. I had to go to shore. So Yeah, Rico came over with everybody, and then we went. But it was cool, yeah. Nice. To see, because Moscow's a hero. I had to go to shore. So who got drunk? Who got sloppy? Clubhouse was in the mix. Clubhouse, yeah. Clubhouse. Clubhouse.
Starting point is 01:01:53 He was temping for the week. I don't know. It didn't get that crazy. It was very, I feel like, corporate. I haven't been for years past, but it felt different than what I imagined they used to be. Who's the photo booth company that makes everybody look so goddamn good in those pictures? There's not a pore on them. TJ, you had a nice picture.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Good pick. Which one? Oh! You know which one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one? It's me and Caitlin Walker. It's looking ravishing.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Oh, you couldn't find his wife? Yeah. No, that happened too. What happened? I didn't go to the party. It was just TJ tweeted out a picture of him and my sister. So what? They're co-workers.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Think about it. Yeah, and also. They're adults. TJ. Intending adults. Way better than when White Sox Dave hit on your sister. Way better. TJ would be best case scenario, to be honest.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Yeah. Look at that. That's a good couple. That is. TJ would be best case scenario, to be honest. Yeah. Look at that. That's a good couple. That is. They look thrilled. It's like American Gothic. Yeah, something about it. Catches the eye.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Good pick, yeah. TJ, what's on your shirt? Carhartt logo. Is that sweat? Oh, no. What? TJ, did you spill? It's just a couple of flecks.
Starting point is 01:03:01 No, he was probably talking to Clemmer. That's more than a... That's like five flex the thing about a guy like me is I'm undefeated at spilling on myself it'll just happen
Starting point is 01:03:11 brutal fucking klutz Florentine didn't show up what what did last year no but he was at he was doing
Starting point is 01:03:20 Legion of Skanks I think oh was he at the stand yeah yeah that makes sense That makes sense. That makes sense. Is that where Sass ran off?
Starting point is 01:03:27 What version of Sass did you guys get last week? Wait, that's his uncle? Yeah, that's Fasoli's uncle. That's where we're joking? That's his babu. That's his black, Laskin, big uncle.
Starting point is 01:03:37 I felt like such a fucking fraud because I was like so respectful to Fasoli the entire time he was here. Yeah. Why? Because he was. Oh, and you were just like, if your uncle wasn't happy, I was just bullying him the whole trip,
Starting point is 01:03:49 and then his black uncle came, and I was like, yep. Great guy. Your nephew's the best. Your white nephew. Fasoli's smile always makes me smile, because he just closes his eyes so tight. Like three hyphens. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:02 Yeah. Like if he wanted to sign his name in graffiti, it'd be, yeah, just three lines. Like, shh, shh, shh. Holy smile. Yeah, that'd be fucking dope. Yeah. Look at that thing. It looks like Morse code typed out.
Starting point is 01:04:13 He doesn't even know the picture's being taken. His mouth is more open than his eyes, and his mouth is closed. What a guy. Oh, I love him. eyes, and his mouth is closed. What a guy. Oh, I love him. Oh, no. I love him. He's the happiest dude in America. He is.
Starting point is 01:04:33 He's the best. He smiles during every emotion makes him smile. Oh, yeah. No, he just constantly smiles. Anger makes him smile. Oh, I thought he was the weirdest dude ever when I first met him. I was like, no, he just can't stop smiling. I like having him around.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Every day is the best day he's ever had. Right. What was his uncle's, like, why did his uncle wind up in Alaska? I don't know. He played for the Jets. What? Yeah, yeah. He was also in the NFL.
Starting point is 01:04:58 What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, he's like an O-line coach at Diamond High School in Anchorage. Interesting. That's crazy that they could afford to pay an O-line coach at Diamond High School in Anchorage. Interesting. That's crazy that they could afford to pay an O-line coach. No, I think he was a head coach. Oh. No disrespect.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Oh, word, word, word. Untaken. What a fucking legend for Soley. Yeah, O-line coach has to be a labor of love. You see that O-line TikTok of all the O-linemans? I think those were American Samoans. They did look Samoans. You see that O-line TikTok of all the O-linemans? I think those were American Samoans. They did look Samoans.
Starting point is 01:05:31 How do they get recruited? There can only be so many organized teams in that small island. What do you mean? They go to the NFL, maybe not often, but periodically. Disproportionately, for sure. There's got to be some USC-sponsored camps or something. Get them into camps quicker. Trajan Langdon. Ray Malaluga. Should we make a sorority video for the Yak?
Starting point is 01:05:56 What the hell is this? Don't copy it. These might be the same dudes. He's all Lyman, just been dancing on TikTok, doing kick steps. The one where they were in the two lines crossing each other. It looked fucking sweet as hell. It looked way too old to be on a school's team. You guys been seeing all these sorority videos?
Starting point is 01:06:18 We got to make one. They have beautiful. Oh, yeah. What do they call it? It's kind of cool, though. Yeah, they are. It's like the San Diego State one. everyone was like, this is the worst. And I'm like, I watched it 20 times.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Yeah. Good moves. Good dancing. Breaking it down. Or people are like, if you're wondering what your $30,000 on tuition is going to, like, dads, this is what's actually happening. A good time? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Yeah. Like learning incredible dance moves. They're like, imagine paying for your friends. I mean, I've paid for much worse than that. Yeah. That's like one of the things I should pay for. Yeah,, imagine paying for your friends. I've paid for much worse things. Yeah. That's like one of the things I should pay for. Yeah, you should pay
Starting point is 01:06:49 for your friends. It's like the most valuable thing you can have. Great ROI. Of course, I'm going to pay for everything else. Yeah. Yeah, if I could, I would.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Yes. Actually. Cool ass people just dancing around. Yeah, like I'm guaranteed to have a giant friend group that's fun if I just like pay money.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Sisters for life? Yeah. Yeah. Done. Yeah, those videos though. I've always wondered though the choreographing that big of a group.
Starting point is 01:07:19 Well, it's very clear like you can always tell when you watch one like Four Leaders? Yeah, there's a lot of girls that just don't know how to dance. It's like just stand back there and just like cheer really loud and there's moves you know they're familiar with the moves how many takes you think they generally do probably upwards of 12 yeah sometimes it does make me laugh whenever they put like
Starting point is 01:07:39 because the middle girl always should be yeah the middle girl yep she be the best dancer. Yep, she's the best. Yeah, but sometimes there'll be a middle girl that's not the best dancer, and you'll be like, oh, God, she's probably the president of the sorority or something. You think the girl looks like that's filming. Yeah. Look at that. Cool. Cast a big old shadow. Oh.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Oh. No. No. Yeah. Oh. Okay. All right. Damn. Those stuff Oh. Okay. All right. Damn.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Break it down, ladies. You're wearing Yak shirts? I was watching a live fantasy draft on YouTube, and the guy was wearing a Yak case race shirt. Whoa. Yeah. You were watching a live? You're doing what?
Starting point is 01:08:20 I was watching. What? What the fuck were you watching? You were watching gay porn. Say that again. It was my boy Ron Stewart. I DM'd him. I was like What the fuck were you watching You were watching gay porn Say that again My boy Ron Stewart I DM'd him I was like nice shirt
Starting point is 01:08:30 Shout out Ron Just guys drafting a league That you're not in I was seeing Just yeah The flow the draft goes Yeah Can you pull your pants down
Starting point is 01:08:40 It looks like it's not A Nazi symbol right now Pull your pants down Pull it down to where It looks like a Nazi symbol Can you pull your pants down. Pull it down to where it looks like a Nazi symbol. Can you pull your pants down? Thank you very much. Appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Beautiful. Oh, yeah. There it is. Did you notice that? What cornerback was it? Marlon Humphrey. Marlon Humphrey. We were at a live show, and it didn't matter.
Starting point is 01:08:59 He said, yo, what's that? He's an ally, though, for sure. Or actually, no. No, he's an ally, though, for sure. Or actually, no. No, he's an ally, yeah. The Nazis? Marlon Humphrey's actually Jewish. Yeah, he was looking out. He was checking you.
Starting point is 01:09:13 Who was the one that didn't like us? Scandrick. Scandrick. Scandrick didn't like us. He's a known dickhead. But he has a podcast with Marlon, right? I think so. Yeah, he did not like us at all. But he's a podcast with Marlon, right? I think so. Yeah, he did not like us at all.
Starting point is 01:09:26 But he's a born dickhead. He was born to be a dickhead. It's his thing. Being a dick? Some people are just born to dickhead. What should we do with the slush fund cash? It's kind of building up. Also, what kind of merchandise should we get that's similar to a coin?
Starting point is 01:09:44 Belt buckle. Because they said that the- A big, giant belt buckle. That's why we needed you in the fucking meeting, bro. I knew you were about to come with some fucking heat off the rip. Fucking yak belt buckle. He didn't even stretch, dude. He just jumped.
Starting point is 01:09:56 It's like a coin. Pretty easy. With a big, sweet-ass belt buckle. That would be so sick. But if it's a yak head and it looks like a nice Texans belt buckle. Maybe a 10 gallon hat to go with it.
Starting point is 01:10:08 Yep. See? Spurs. Charge them. Yeah. Guns. Yak guns. Are you messaging Pilar
Starting point is 01:10:16 right now, Owen? No, I was asking Nick. You ever have one of these? A lot. I had a lot of studded belt buckles. I wanted one so bad. A BB Simon? What kind of studded belt are we talking?
Starting point is 01:10:26 That was from Hot Topic. They're all pointy. We all got to get B.B. Simon belts with the slush funds. What are those? They're just like sweet-ass, over-the-top belts. Can you pull up a B.B. Simon belt, TJ? What is something just super inconvenient we could get? I have an idea.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Yak surfboards? That would be cool. Sombreros? How much does a sculptor cost? Oh, look at those. B.B. Simon, dude. If we all just got B.B. Simons, they're like $250. What if part of the slush fund is we all get B.B. Simons
Starting point is 01:11:01 and fucking look sweet in our B.B. Simons? Wow, we would have made any outfit, dude. It really does. at B.B. Simons and fucking look sweet in our B.B. Simons. Wow. That could elevate any outfit, dude. It really does. It doesn't matter what you're wearing. You can really just wear a white t-shirt
Starting point is 01:11:12 or a three-piece suit. It doesn't matter. Pops. I would get that. I think like if we get like a latex artist in here and we get all really
Starting point is 01:11:19 super realistic Brandon Walker masks. That'd be cool. Yeah. And we do a purge. Yeah. Walk around the streets. We don And we do a purge. Yeah. Walk around the streets. We don't go to his house and do anything.
Starting point is 01:11:29 And then you're surprisingly excellent and everyone freaks out. Yeah. That singer, yeah. Jewel did that. Yeah, she did. Go to Bon Jovi. Just gave her a bigger nose.
Starting point is 01:11:41 She killed her songs and everyone was like, whoa, that girl with the big nose Who's mildly attractive still Was very good at singing And that was And it was a good video Yeah The Bon Jovi one wasn't good
Starting point is 01:11:51 He was like working At the karaoke place And he like interrupted the table And they were bothered It would piss me off Yeah Totally He doesn't know how to
Starting point is 01:11:59 Pull it off Bon Jovi Mm-mm Big Head you said something Inconvenient for this Lush Fun Yeah What about this whoa yes that is convenient that is awesome just destroy a bunch of stuff in here if we shot it inside yes catch pests and they're 900 each whoa all right let's get 10 of them how do
Starting point is 01:12:21 you reload it's not a one-time thing, is it? I think you pack it into a cartridge, and then it loads. Drone catcher. Wait, a drone? You should do a battle royale on a football field or something. Wow. It looks like a flashlight. Oh, my God. We need these.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Uh-huh. I've never needed anything more in my life. Ultranet? Oh, look. It looks like a flashlight. Oh, fuck. We've got to get one of these. On the wheel, it should be catch a stranger
Starting point is 01:12:46 It's the best case scenario You just have a net on you You're not trapped whatsoever You catch someone Or a drone If someone's trying to drone If someone's trying to hover by you We should see who we
Starting point is 01:12:59 How many delivery guys we can catch Oh yeah Stand out in the street In the bike lane Just fucking net catch them. Gotcha. I'd be so pissed. I got a 150-pounder today. Look at him.
Starting point is 01:13:18 He's all tangled. I think they had to wrap it around him. No, there's no way. You're a hater. You just got to stand perfectly still. I bet you if you're moving, it'll get you more tangled. Spoiler for nope. Yeah, we need that.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Buy it. Yep. Buy at least one. No, we got to get more than one. Fuck. Do this against Stephen Che. This one's a little bit longer. Does it pack more of a punch?
Starting point is 01:13:43 Whoa. Oh, shotgun. We should get a hoverboard, too, like one of the ones that... Wait, is that guy supposed to be like a... He wasn't very good. Rapist or a criminal? His dick's not hot. Yeah, they always stop two to three feet away.
Starting point is 01:13:57 Right. Should I hold on? Let me get my net. Shout out to the Bucks for not drafting me. Oh, and she's gone. Look at that. He's gone. You could rape through that Oh double
Starting point is 01:14:08 Holy fuck Oh my Help me He's got a cobweb on him Oh and here Oh my god Does that come with it? I want those things
Starting point is 01:14:20 Yeah I want the guys too I want two of those guys Those guys in those outfits Yeah Oh shit Wait she's attached Reel her in those things. Yeah, I want the guys too. I want two of those guys. Those guys in those outfits. Yeah. Oh, shit. Wait, she's attached. Reel her in. Oh, that's how you catch someone. You reverse their
Starting point is 01:14:32 hard thing that's going to happen. What? It would be awesome if like... Oh, yeah, because he can't get out. He's all tangled around it. We all have one and we have to hunt somebody in Central Park. Look at this. Watch. Shouldn't he have tripped? Oh, I see.
Starting point is 01:14:48 Oh! That's a cop having that. Oh, man. That guy is so tangled. I want one of those, too. I want the guys attached to him What is it Is one of them a bellhop
Starting point is 01:15:08 Just grabbers I think it's what the cops in Japan look like The guys were there Why weren't they already helping Before she had to pull the net out I don't know I think Sold
Starting point is 01:15:19 Because I think in Japan Just having a net on you is illegal Yeah Oh yeah Oh Robin Robin Pig. Oh, that was wrong. Rest in peace, Pig. Oh, gee.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Fuck. I thought that was me. Oh, did he do it to Drama? Did he do it to Big Cat? Did he do it to Big Cat? Oh, what's up? You dumping now? So fantastic.
Starting point is 01:15:36 Good. That didn't really affect him. Where you going? He really couldn't. He's fine. Where you going? Where you going? Oh, if he throws him in the pool. If he throws him in the pool. Where you going? He really could have. He's fine. Where are you going? Oh, if he throws him
Starting point is 01:15:45 in the pool. If he throws him in the pool. Where are you going? You're going to take a dump on somebody? How dare you dump on my house?
Starting point is 01:15:52 I need you to dump me. I need you to freaking dump me. Damn, I don't think this show was good. It wasn't. It was a great show. Black Eyed was from Mississippi. Is he dead?
Starting point is 01:16:02 Yeah. Him and Setty Boo. I know. The rap sumo very sad yeah it was mississippi state have saturday shit emphis oh mine 16 point favorites oh chilling cruising that the team you cheated against last time oh that's the team where the ref fucked us cheated against you yeah where we touched the ball down and then yeah? Yeah, that was bullshit. When's Mississippi State going to honor you? Return the first kick or something? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:16:29 I've been talking to them. They sent my season tickets today, even though I can't go to any games. I guess I'll just give them away. You should do a giveaway on the new Brandon Walker show on YouTube. Can I have one of them? At 6 p.m. Can I get one of your tickets? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:40 You going to go? You never wear the hat I got you. I know. I'm not going to go either. But I just want to have it so to make sure nobody else gets it. Would you wear the hat, though, once? Yeah, if gonna go? You never wear the hat I got you. I know. I'm not gonna go either. But I just want to have it so to make sure nobody else gets it. Would you wear the hat though once? Yeah. If you give me the tickets. You're gonna wear the hat to not go?
Starting point is 01:16:52 Who's their toughest opponent at home? Bama? Georgia. Georgia? Not Bama? They're on the road. Oh. You got Vandy? Uh, we don't play Vandy. We play... Vandy's looking good. I know, man. Auburn A&M. Auburn A&M, Auburn A&M, Georgia, and...
Starting point is 01:17:06 Did they win? They killed Hawaii. 63-10. Fuck, are they back? Yeah. Good. They were done forever. Oh, they got the new logo
Starting point is 01:17:14 and everything. Their new logo. Yeah, dude, he was... Just changed the V a little bit. Look at those arms. Wow. If he was going
Starting point is 01:17:22 to Planet Fitness, Alaskan Planet Fitness every morning. Every day, yeah. What? No one touches weights. Why? What are they all doing?
Starting point is 01:17:28 Body weight? I don't know. Everyone was on like cardio machines. Damn. Look, diesel, my man. I finally committed to eating. Yeah? Throughout the day, getting a certain amount of calories and protein in it.
Starting point is 01:17:42 It's off the booze. Did he drink it all up in... Yeah, but... I didn't see you do it. In the 48th contingent. In this weekend. You're Alaska sober. There it is.
Starting point is 01:17:57 Oh, bad. That's ass. Yeah, no, it's terrible. It's Virginia. It's just... What's the richest family in America? It's like an abacus Good definitely
Starting point is 01:18:08 Or a compass now Anderson Cooper of Vanderbilt Anderson Cooper Yeah And B Married Gloria Vanderbilt Jr. Or no his dad did I was gonna say
Starting point is 01:18:19 He sure did He did not He did Oh brother He definitely did Me and Cooper Cooper's He has slave ancestors Oh Does he? He did not. He did. Oh, brother. He definitely did. Me and Cooper have... Cooper's...
Starting point is 01:18:27 He has slave ancestors. Oh. Does he? Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. His side of the family is from Alabama. Slavers? Or he was a slave?
Starting point is 01:18:37 Has he apologized? He has. They did a segment on PBS where he was like, yeah, he was murdered by a slave. And he was like, yeah, fuck yeah, he deserved it. Damn. So you can't really shame him. No.
Starting point is 01:18:53 I love Anderson Cooper. I do too. He was in the Manti-Teo talk. You love him? We have a lot of similarities. No, was he in Manti-Teo talk? He has a weird relationship with food as well. Some days you'll only eat the same thing for a month straight.
Starting point is 01:19:07 Some days. Yeah. He was in the worst guy on the internet. Doc. Did you guys watch that? Oh, yeah. Most hated. Most hated man on the internet.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Doc. I've just been watching live fantasy drafts with Rob. Yeah. Crushing it. The name of the Netflix documentary series now is The Untold Stories. Yeah. Yeah, they kind of cucked you guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:29 We were the first. You guys should have had Manta. You should have Manta's dead girlfriend on. We have a meeting tomorrow about getting guests. Nice. Really? Is that done by Hank? No.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Pregnant Kelly. Pregnant Kelly Pregnant Kelly got it So how are you going to make sure you win That interaction tomorrow How are you going to butter him up I don't know what I want As far as guests go Yeah what guests would you guys want Yeah I don't know
Starting point is 01:20:02 Yeah we just want them for like 10 minutes Are you going to make fun of them Yeah that might be tough to get repeat guests I'll say no when she walks by. Yeah, I don't know. Just for like 10 minutes at a time? Yeah, we just want them for like 10 minutes. Are you going to make fun of them? Yeah. Yeah, that might be tough to get repeat guests. I know. I'm not worried about that. Yeah, that's true. It's your job.
Starting point is 01:20:11 Yeah. Just make sure that they're willing to get made fun of. Exactly. Can you just drop your guests off at Anus every time they leave? I might. Say, all right, we got one last thing. Here, yeah. In the media car wash, yeah, you're on due party.
Starting point is 01:20:22 You had a pleasant experience here. Let's make sure that doesn't happen. Take a left at this door right here. If you do have guests you don't want back. Yeah. In the media car wash. Yeah, you're on new partner. You had a pleasant experience here. Let's make sure that doesn't happen. Take a left at this door right there. If you do have guests you don't want back. Yeah. You guys have Dan Marino and Dan Scott. Guests are the ads of people. That sucks that that's the two that are the worst.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Yeah, Dak. Yeah, those are like your two fandoms. Two favorite guys. It is, yeah. They suck. I know Marino did. Dak, though? Well, he forgot to hang up.'s fine he told his publicist that the interview went terribly and then we left it in that's funny
Starting point is 01:20:54 yeah that's on him yeah that's him brandon uh would if dan marino came out with like a a sandwich tray that was just full of the biggest lines of cocaine you've ever seen would you what a question that's a good question yeah i biggest lines of cocaine you've ever seen would you wow what a question that's a good question yeah i think i would you wouldn't have to worry you know it'd be good shit yeah you're in miami on a fucking uh and a mansion out on biscayne with a fucking three-story windows that are just the cocaine dan marino could have gotten in 1987 oh my god have gotten yeah could have or just yeah got yeah have gotten? Yeah, could have. Or just, yeah, got. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:26 Peruvian pink. Yeah. He was one of the richest people in Miami. Yes. He was Miami. The most famous person, yeah. Probably had a bunch of teal suit coats. Dwayne Wade probably didn't get any good cocaine. He could.
Starting point is 01:21:38 He could have gotten it, but he chose not to. He was more of a wine man. Miami's hot in August, if anyone was wondering. Oh, I forgot that's where you went. It sucks in August. How many days was your bachelor party? I was there for two days, two days, three days, two nights. Did everybody have their own?
Starting point is 01:21:56 Do you have that many close friends, or do people just think it's cool to be friends with Big Cat and bring him to a bachelor party? No, this is my last close friend. Okay. I haven't gone on one in a while. That could be your last bachelor party. You guys didn't like that question? I think it is. Do your friends like you for you?
Starting point is 01:22:13 No, I was asking essentially if this was a close friend. It was a close friend. And it was the last one. I've said on the rundown I will not acknowledge divorces and second marriages. Nobody does bachelor parties for a second marriage. I think they do low-key ones.
Starting point is 01:22:30 Okay. Maybe. A golf outing? Yeah. That's my speed now. What was your tank looking like by Sunday? Very low. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:40 Very low. You get hung over? Oh, my God. I was a mess. How was the trip back? We went to 11. That place is, I don't know if you guys have ever been. Rowan, you've been, right?
Starting point is 01:22:50 I went, and that's where I, like, we weren't wearing pants and the right shoes, and a guy, like, came out of the shadows and was like, come here, I got some pants for you, and, like, brought us to the back of his trunk. He was selling size 34 pants out of his trunk. It's a club with like 180 of the hottest strippers in the world and they just walk around and like hang out and then like hey you want to like go to the private room and then like other even just as hot women
Starting point is 01:23:19 coming around asking if you want a massage it's crazy but, but it's a club. That's very, very famous. It's a wild scene. Is it fun? It was fun. Okay. It was very fun. You know who actually was right in front of me? Jeremy Spund.
Starting point is 01:23:35 No way. Spund. Spund was there, yeah. Fucking soaking it up. That's dope. Yeah. You've got to be throwing money around in a place like that, though. Yeah, you do.
Starting point is 01:23:46 It's fun to throw around money. Sneaky, the biggest socialite at the company. Yeah. Well, he's not at the company. From what I've heard, yes. Is he not? No, he's not at the company. What?
Starting point is 01:23:53 Oh, and you didn't know this? He hasn't been at the company for a while. I didn't know that either. Oh. Gapyear? Rumspringer? I did that. I emailed some woman for paperwork the other day and i asked danielle i
Starting point is 01:24:07 was like why hasn't this person got back to me she's like well she hasn't worked here since january whoops oh oops a daisy what oh shit okay i went to a club in la with dave i think it was one oak or one of those. Yeah. Super intimidating. Like you said, everybody was just supermodels and in like pumps and club dresses. It's a weird feel. Clubs are very intimidating. Yeah. Because it's like.
Starting point is 01:24:34 Oh, can we rewind? You did what? When? I went to a club with Dave. In LA? Super Bowl? Yeah. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:24:42 Yeah, it was like a sportsbook thing. Oh, yeah. I was with you. Yeah. You didn't go to the club, though. I went to the beginning of it. You went to the rooftop. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, it was like a sports book thing. Oh, yeah. I was with you. Yeah. You didn't go to the club, though. I went to the beginning of it. You went to the rooftop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Yeah, I stayed at the club for like 10 minutes. That's right. But I wanted to be able to tell this story like six or seven months later. Yeah. Here we are. Yeah, look at that. Crushed it. It's a desired effect.
Starting point is 01:24:57 Yeah. Beautiful. I hope. No, clubs are weird. How many other stories you got ruminating there for a couple of months? Literally none. I'll try. He hot boxes them. Yeah. How many other stories you got ruminating there for a couple of months? Literally none. Fix them up. I'll try.
Starting point is 01:25:06 He hot boxes them. Yeah. What's your guys' ideal night, though? Like a dive bar or just... Dive bar. Not a dive bar. I like sports bars, I think. I'm a dive bar guy. Free popcorn.
Starting point is 01:25:21 That's a dive bar. Yes. That's just what I like too. Like a punch bowl social. Bob's Furniture gives out free popcorn as well. Popcorn usually is a dive bar. Is that a dive bar? I thought it was for peanuts.
Starting point is 01:25:36 Sports Bar doesn't really... Yeah, Sports Bar has gotten a new meeting. It's like full B-dubs everywhere. I like that. I like that too. I like B-dubs. Yeah, right. I like that. I like that, too. I like B-dubs. That's what I was thinking of. Favorite environment.
Starting point is 01:25:49 Objectively great place to go. What if it closes at 10? That's not a night out. Can there be too many TVs at a sports bar? I love it. It's a pretty sensory overload. I like the stimulus. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Yeah, but it's also nice. Everyone watching the game on the same one or two TVs. Yeah, on a dive board. There's a little camaraderie to that. A little jukebox. Maybe a shuffleboard. There's a little camaraderie to that. Old jukebox. Maybe a shuffleboard. You guys want to bowl after this? Today? I'm going to Maresh's.
Starting point is 01:26:12 He has a bowling alley in his building. The amenities are crazy. Let's not hype him up that much. Is it mini bowling? Is it his building? Yeah, I think so. He has a bowling alley? Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:26:26 Yeah. Some jealousy. He doesn't like my ranch. This is a problem. What do you have in your building, KB? I'm sure you have something cool. No. Do you even have a treadmill?
Starting point is 01:26:35 I do have a roof. Yeah? I just realized. I think that's one of the requirements for a building. I can access it. Just a hollow access. KB used to live for a building. I can access it. It's just a hollow access. Maybe you used to live in a tube. What's the nearest business to your...
Starting point is 01:26:51 It's a CVS and I used a $100 bill and I never thought this would ever happen to me. It failed the counterfeit test. What? Did you take it off my desk? No, it was mine. Did you steal from me? Well, because I have counterfeit $100 bills on my desk. You take it off my desk? No, it was mine. Did you steal from me? Well, because I have counterfeit $100 bills on my desk. You got it from the ATM?
Starting point is 01:27:09 It gaslit me into thinking, oh, fuck, this is a fake. Because it did feel a little weird and had the new blue stripe on it. Right. So what happened? Did you get arrested? No, I just left and used it at another CVS on the self-checkout. Nice. Yeah, because it had the marker line.
Starting point is 01:27:26 I wish I would have done that at the same CVS. That would have been more of a power move. That would have been great if you just turned it around. It wouldn't have cared. They didn't give a shit. So what did they say? They put it through that scanner thing, and it kept failing.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Huh. And the manager came, failed. Like, yeah, no. Why do you have hungies? What are you doing with all the hungies? ATM. Oh, yeah? Huh. I do you have hungies? What are you doing with all the hungies? Oh, yeah? This didn't really answer it.
Starting point is 01:27:50 No. You need $100 to go to CVS. The thing on your lip did go down, though. Big time. It's dormant. It's winter. For your lip. Ron, you didn't kiss a coin holder on Friday
Starting point is 01:28:09 Oh Yeah We got a problem They didn't follow the rules They waited outside the building Yeah isn't that like the number one rule I thought we were allowed They were allowed to do that
Starting point is 01:28:18 I don't think you can No what happened Somebody came out for you I think early on All of us Yeah they had a picture Don't be creepy. Just follow us from afar until we get to it.
Starting point is 01:28:28 It was females. A group of females. I thought it was going to only be males that had coins. So that's what got you thrown off? We never said that. There was a rule that if we do it in front of or at company events, we talked about that. There's not a rule against females
Starting point is 01:28:44 buying the coin. What happened? She was like, I actually have a coin. I was like, well, we're right outside the office. Citing the rule. Well, they made it seem like you just out-refused because you didn't want to kiss them. Who made the... Ladies.
Starting point is 01:28:59 Kate let them in here after. That was nice. They got a full office. They just sat right here. That was interesting. I think Lenny banked some episodes with them. Yeah, that was nice. They got a full office. It just sat right here. Mm-hmm. That was interesting. Then Glennie banked some episodes with them. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Angels?
Starting point is 01:29:09 Yep. That was interesting. I don't know. What's your guys ruling? I don't think you can wait outside of the building. Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Starting point is 01:29:17 We only have one entrance. Bombarding outside the building is not allowed. No bombarding. No. We've had nothing but sticky situations with the coin. I have yet to see one in the wild.
Starting point is 01:29:27 I don't think there could be like a smooth transaction. The one at Pop Punk was a lot. What was that one? He went up to everybody with a coin. Did y'all kiss him? No, he didn't want to kiss him. No, he was adamant. It's an event.
Starting point is 01:29:40 Yeah. It's a company event. That is a company event. With football things going on, though, and us going to games, it's going to happen. Like, are you going to Wisconsin at all this year? No, I don't think so. I'm going to that Mississippi State game, though. Yeah, yeah, you have season tickets.
Starting point is 01:29:51 He'll be there. And Sass is always at 351 West 48th. Yeah, he is. Oh, what's going on with the mice? I found a ton of poop this morning, and I looked it up. It's mouse poop, not rat poop. Good. So you just got more of them. Yeah and I looked it up it's mouse poop not rat poop good so you just got more of them
Starting point is 01:30:07 yeah they're loading up but oh no I don't know you just get a cat you just buy one yeah go to the I will I guess
Starting point is 01:30:17 like how do you do that just go get a cat how much are cats 30 bucks yeah really 30 bucks yeah how much are dogs
Starting point is 01:30:24 thousands hundreds some are free though let's talk about that How much are cats? 30 bucks. Yeah. Really? 30 bucks, yeah. How much are dogs? Thousands? Hundreds. Some are free, though. If he's got all the counterfeit money, you can go get a cat. That's true. Yeah, we both utilize a system like this. Mine's a little more sophisticated. I lay down a felt blanket as a base layer, and then I do the sneakers and rat traps. I would dip into the Slush Fund for you guys to get a cat.
Starting point is 01:30:44 What door? What door is that? You guys can name it. Yeah, guys to get a cat. What door? What door is that? You guys can name it. Yeah, let's get a cat. Let's get a yak cat. I'm not trying to hate, but those shoes aren't stopping those mice at all. No, at all. Not even a little bit. At all.
Starting point is 01:30:53 You're enticing them. It's like a ninja house for them. Yeah. Yak cat. Yeah, they love Sass's room. They don't get into mine, but he said they just come in and sort of say hi. Well, I mean. His is covered in.
Starting point is 01:31:06 Well, are you also like, no way Sass is saying that he has the worst mouse problem of a house that has mouse problems? Again, true, yeah. He was convinced he had monkey pox this weekend. Of course. Oh, I forgot Sass has been having gay sex. It's going to sound like hyperbole. It's not. I told him 99.1% they found it was from male-on-male sex,
Starting point is 01:31:26 and he's like, that makes it all the more embarrassing for when I'm the.9. That's true. He's like, all right. He's got a point. Wait, is he sick right now? Yeah, he went home to get tested for monkeypox. Oh, my God. No, he did get tested, but he's home to see his family.
Starting point is 01:31:39 I really – I mean, it would be funny if he had monkeypox. Oh, it would be hilarious. Fantastic. It would be the best thing that's ever happened to this show. No, Sass getting a disease that kills him that we don't take seriously would be hilarious. Boy Who Cried Wolf. Right, objectively, he'd be like, oh, I'm not feeling well. I'm getting dizzy all the time.
Starting point is 01:31:58 I think I have a tumor. And we're like, no. And his brain explodes. Yeah, we're ignoring visible lesions. Yeah, right. Because he's complaining about it. He's just bleeding out of his eyes. Yeah. We're ignoring visible lesions. Yeah, right. Because he's complaining about his... He's just bleeding out of his eyes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:08 We're just like, dude, it's fine. You're being a pussy about it. This is the most painful thing ever. Shut up, dude. You're hardly oozing. It is funny, though, that he's convinced himself that the mice only go to his room. Having that cast made me want to get a little Munchausen's.
Starting point is 01:32:25 Yeah. Just like being sick has its perks. that the mice only go to his room. Having that cast made me want to get a little Munchausen's. Yeah. Just like being sick has its perks. I want a facial scar very badly. Over the eyebrow. You could do that. I think that's, yeah, I would love to like, yeah. One that starts above the eye and finishes under that same eye is incredible. Scar.
Starting point is 01:32:41 I could knife you up. Yeah. I'd let you. No. No, because I'd probably get one of those ugly scars that was like all pink. I-hmm. I could knife you up. Yeah. I'd let you. No. No, because I'd probably get one of those ugly scars that was like all pink. I'm too. Yeah, that's true. You don't want to get a pale.
Starting point is 01:32:50 You got to get a cleft lip scar. Yeah. Like Joaquin. Like Joaquin Balor. Yeah, Joaquin Phoenix. Cleft lip, but never had the cleft lip. Cousin Matt's got a cleft lip. Shout out to Matt.
Starting point is 01:33:00 Shout out Matt. Shout out Matt with the cleft lip. Yo, do you think he'd come in? Show it? Probably not. Yeah, probably not. No, I'll get him in, cleft lip. Yo, do you think he'd come in? Show it? Probably not. Yeah, probably not. No, I'll get him in, actually, probably. Yeah, we can get him in.
Starting point is 01:33:09 I wonder where Dr. Dan is. We should do a family day. We have to bring in a distant relative. Fusoli's uncle. Fusoli's uncle, yeah. That's going to be tough. That is going to be sweet. When's the 12-hour episode?
Starting point is 01:33:24 Fuck you. We have to figure that out. Wenzler, Bernard, Dan. We've got to figure that out. That is going to be sweet When's the 12 hour episode? You We have to figure that out When's Laura Bernardine? We have to figure that out We also have to do Data Day coming up Dan you're getting a tattoo On the 12 hour stream
Starting point is 01:33:32 I'm going to think about it Yeah What else? We also have final ritz No Are we I'll do it But people really don't like it
Starting point is 01:33:40 Can you just do it On your like Instagram story? Yeah I'll just fucking do it Just don't do it Yeah What's final Ritz? It's gonna be everyone have to Ritz for me. Oh, fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:50 We canceled it. We are dressing up for that today. In a tortilla. Are we dressing up for that today? Let's see why we wouldn't. Are we definitely doing suits? What if we themed it like a Viking theme or like sombreros? That's up to y'all. What if we do a broad theme where you can open up to interpretation?
Starting point is 01:34:07 Broad? I like that. Conductor. Some person's leading an orchestra. Somebody's driving a train. Somebody's a lightning rod. We all have to dress up like different people named Al. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:18 They each be a different Al, and you have to guess which Al it is. I like that. Yeah. Pacino, Al Wills. We also should just dress up and not tell Steven that we're dressed up. I like that. Yeah. Pacino, Al Wars. We also should just dress up and not tell him, Steven, that we're dressed up. He won't realize it. He's the king of data day.
Starting point is 01:34:31 Or different Steves, maybe. Oh, different Steves. Yeah, we should do different Steves. Room full of Steves. Steve? Shout out to Steve. He had a great move on the show last night, surviving barstool.
Starting point is 01:34:42 Yeah, he's a mental assassin. I usually think he's a big idiot, um last night yeah that was good no he's he's set up perfectly in this show if you haven't seen it surviving barstool i think episode two is tonight yeah it's going on every day first yeah really good i need to if you want to see steven he's talking so cocky he's talking so cocky but he has a right to be cocky because Steven, with people who don't know Steven, he can dominate. It's when you know him and we know all his thoughts before he even thinks them. That's when he... Steve's smart presenting.
Starting point is 01:35:13 Oh, yeah. I didn't think he's a well-rounded intellect. The fucking glasses. Yeah. He's mathematically presenting. Shout out to... Not a great driver, but... Shout out to Not a great driver But
Starting point is 01:35:27 Shout out to who Steve Jobs Steve's daughter Is very hot Really Oh He called her Eve I think
Starting point is 01:35:39 Hot shout out I think No I Fuck is it His daughter Or something I mean if her last name is Jobs. And her first name is Eve.
Starting point is 01:35:47 She's not. That's Eve Jobs. Oh, she is very attractive. Wow, Eve Jobs. Funny name. That is a very funny name. In a vacuum, no. Look at that. Is that Wicker?
Starting point is 01:36:04 That's for sure. She must be paid dude She must have I'm a Eve Jobs fan My god I like the name She gets no like Shine for like
Starting point is 01:36:13 Being a hot celebrity Daughter Celebrity daughter Yeah Fucking shits Who's him You think she's got a big brain She's probably smart yeah
Starting point is 01:36:22 Very smart You think that Really rich people Can be funny She's probably smart, yeah. Very smart. Do you think that really rich people can be funny? Like if you're born really rich? No. What about those dudes who are SNL writers? Whose dads are SNL writers? Those guys are very funny.
Starting point is 01:36:43 But I don't know if they were that rich rich. I think Julia Louis-Dreyfus was a billionaire growing up. Yeah, no, she is. She's part of French aristocracy. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:54 No way. She got a shitload of money. Dreyfus. That sounds... Is it German? What happened around 1944, Dreyfus's? Yeah. Hmm. How'd you get that wealth right from the Reich to 30 rock did Richard Dreyfus get cancelled
Starting point is 01:37:12 for what for something I don't think so I think it was Bill Murray for what about Bob someone was like he was he was mean to everyone Bill Murray was he was mean to everyone. Okay. Bill Murray was? Yeah. He wasn't canceled.
Starting point is 01:37:27 He tried to cancel Bill Murray. They're like yeah remember that time he did what about Bob? He was just mean to people. It's like what? That's what we're doing? People loved him right around when Bacon was. Oh he did. He canceled himself? Oh no.
Starting point is 01:37:44 Writer Jessica Tate. Exposed himself to her. He says he behaved inappropriately, and then he denies it. Not a great picture of all rich. I just pulled out his pants. What did he do? Pulled out his penis. He whipped it out.
Starting point is 01:37:58 Pulled out his pants. Draught me close. It's kind of painful. Pulled out his what? I did flirt with her. I remember trying to kiss Jessica. Oh, so yeah. I don't understand how you...
Starting point is 01:38:10 I thought it was a consensual seduction ritual. Oh, that's a... Oh. Praise. Go back up to his pic. Helicopter. People look like that in the future. Like, I can't picture, like, someone now, like, a younger man, like, ever being that.
Starting point is 01:38:23 Well, I think... Who is going to look like that? I will. Amongst our office, who will look like that? I will, absolutely. Well, Jaws' Richard Dreyfuss kind of looked like me. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:38:33 Brandon is going to age poorly. I already am. I'm going to age very poorly. I don't think so. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. You have the luxury of good face.
Starting point is 01:38:44 Yeah. That's big. Good face is a good luxury. Brandon, no. Yeah. You have the luxury of good face. Yeah. That's big. Good face. That's a good luxury. Brandon, no. I just don't know. I want to drag him into this. Ben Mintz is going to age great.
Starting point is 01:38:54 I don't get why. Ben Mintz is going to be hilarious. I want Ben Mintz to hit a growth spurt. He's coming taller than Brandon. He's just going to fill out. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. If he fills out.
Starting point is 01:39:05 Whoa. This is freaky. That is freaky. Fake shit. I found his eyes. His eyes. I'm not seeing it. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:39:15 That's creepy. You are here. The in-between is like a handsome man. Silver Fox. Yeah. What a looking guy. You could be that. You look like Foxworthy.
Starting point is 01:39:28 And you're not smarter than a fifth grader, so. Oh, yeah. That's perfect. Get back. Get back in your face. I don't know which features are his and which are yours. Take out your cock. Let the ritual commence.
Starting point is 01:39:46 A seduction ritual. A sensual seduction ritual. Yeah, he did that shit. Oh, yeah. If you say that sentence. He did that guy's consensual. How'd he come up with that? Consensual seduction ritual.
Starting point is 01:39:55 He hired a PR firm. That is a fucking sweet phrase. So what is the ritual? Helicopter and take out your dick. He was trying to lasso her. And if it starts getting sucked, the ritual is commencedter and take out your dick. He was trying to lasso her. And if it starts getting sucked, the ritual is
Starting point is 01:40:07 commenced. That's right. And how dare they spit in the face of ritual. It would be funny if Richard Dreyfuss just became like Andrew
Starting point is 01:40:17 Tate 2.0. His later life. Richard Dreyfuss. Richard Dreyfuss telling us that women shouldn't drive cars what is that what Tate was saying
Starting point is 01:40:29 oh he said it all damn they shouldn't be boat captains I live by the motto if you don't flirt you die that rules what
Starting point is 01:40:40 80 year old grandma so breathing is that breathing it's like sharks having to swim. Yeah. Breathing and flirting were synonymous in Richard Dreyfuss' mind. During those years, I was swept up in a world of celebrity and drugs.
Starting point is 01:40:54 See, that is something that every person who acted poorly in the 80s would be like, yeah, too much cocaine. When I think of celebrities living it up and getting pussy and doing cocaine, I don't think Richard Dreyfuss. I think that's just everyone who was famous in the 80s did a lot of coke. It's just a fact. You did it at church. You just did it wherever you went.
Starting point is 01:41:15 It wasn't even illegal. You just did it at the nightclub, at the table, off the cloth. Imagine that. Off a tablecloth? I know. Just being able to go to the club and being like, yep, we're going to do it. We need like a CBD version of cocaine. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:32 The way they've done for opiates with kratom and CBD for weed. I was saying earlier that. Like a milder cocaine that I could get at a gas station. Or like drugs that you could take in small doses. Like if there was a weed drink, but if you drink a weed drink, I imagine it will get you high as fuck right away. But like beers or a weed drink where you could have like eight of them and be more on it or like two and you're just kind of chilling.
Starting point is 01:42:00 Vaping booze would be awesome too. Vaping booze. That's been done. Yeah? LA Beast did it. Of course he didze would be awesome too. Vaping booze. That's been done. LA Beast did it. Of course he did. He does it all. You could pretty much almost instantly die if you do too much of it because you don't get the effects of drinking liquid.
Starting point is 01:42:14 It just hits you immediately. So you can overdose on vaping alcohol. LA Beast is the best. He ate a bunch of cacti and puked them up. Really? Yeah. Like shoe nice? He's a better shoe nice. There is no better shoe nice. Steve will do it.
Starting point is 01:42:28 You seen those eyes? Yeah they're piercing. Well he eats 50 tampons. Imagine being swooned by a man just munching on tampons. Show us shoe nice. Shoe nice looks cute
Starting point is 01:42:41 eating all those tampax. His eyes are enchanting. He always wears he knows exactly what he's doing. He's always wearing baby blue. Do you think that he fucks off of his content? Oh, for sure. Off of his content or off his piercing baby blue eyes and his looks? Both.
Starting point is 01:42:55 It's his status. Status, yeah. What about the content? I hope he doesn't eat pussy. That would be really cool. No. No, no, no. I'm a king.
Starting point is 01:43:08 But Shu, this pussy needs some help. But Shu, you just ate a sandal. Yeah. Shu, you ate a hundred, you ate a hundred thumbtacks before dinner.
Starting point is 01:43:21 Uh-huh, and then you had a VCR player for dessert. I ain't about that shit. I knew if you ate that VCR, you wouldn't have room for pussy. Hey, whistler to the wheat field. Those eyes. He's always wearing light blue.
Starting point is 01:43:37 He knows. Oh, he's teaching people how to eat a tampon. That's good. A tutorial. He should do a master class. Yeah, he should. How great would that be? How old is he?
Starting point is 01:43:48 He's pretty old. Where is he now? Yeah, this is from 2012. I think that would affect his face. Like, he would look gross. This is 10 years old. I imagine tampons are caloric negative. Is he still making stuff?
Starting point is 01:43:59 No. I watched Where Is He Now? He lives with, like, a calisthenics YouTuber. Yeah, I think it's not such a good situation. It's not a good situation. Oh, really? I think he's pretty active on Kami. Something bad?
Starting point is 01:44:08 He left YouTube two days ago. What happened? The last slam, Shoenice leaves YouTube. Why? I bet he's done that a lot. Can we hear this? He aged a lot. Well, basically, you can't say I didn't try.
Starting point is 01:44:20 I said I would upload three crazy eating videos, and they didn't go anywhere. If I didn't share them to my 10,000 Snapchatters, they'd have less than 1,000 views. So either way, all my true fans and my haters are over on TikTok now. It's a great time. Wheezy, Ted, John, Ellie, we're all one big happy family. This is sad family This is sad So either way guys With a Budweiser can
Starting point is 01:44:50 Looking like the American flag With freedom on it This desert storm veteran Is saying goodbye to YouTube No Believe what you want On your mark Game paper
Starting point is 01:45:04 Oh no YouTube. No. Believe what you want. I'll buy it. On your mark. Game, pay, share. Oh, no. It's about to cough up machinery. Yeah, just a junk. It's like when a cog came out of his face.
Starting point is 01:45:13 Looks in the heck, it was a cog. Some nuts and, yeah. Oh, man, shoe dice. This is sad.
Starting point is 01:45:23 Apparently, he's just on TikTok now, just replying to random people, making, like, random videos. Shoot ice. This is sad. Apparently, he's just on TikTok now, just replying to random people, making random videos. Ribbit. Oh. That hurt. That's sad, man. I love it, man.
Starting point is 01:45:31 It's not that sad. He's been doing it for a decade. He left it all in the fucking field. He burps in a piano sounds. Either way, it was a long ride. A crazy ride. Oh, man. But I've been doing these stunts way before the internet.
Starting point is 01:45:47 What is this doing to me? So, yeah, I'm 53. I got probably 43 years of doing crazy things to many people. Yeah, just saying. I was figuring out which way he was going. He's a good-looking 53. Yeah, for what he's ingested. He's probably eaten, like, collectively a spy, a best buy inventory.
Starting point is 01:46:10 A Rite Aid. Yeah. Full body x-ray could be an iSpy book. Yeah, really good. You think he could reassemble the shit inside of him? That would be super impressive. Poor guy. Roll snake eyes when he takes a shit.
Starting point is 01:46:26 Handsome as hell. Poor guy. Roll snake eyes when he takes a shit. Handsome as hell. He is. And, you know, it's just different. You know, people aren't on YouTube. The algorithm is probably... Doesn't look nice upon shoe nice. Probably pushing him down. Are they shadow banning him?
Starting point is 01:46:38 Didn't they kick off Steve Will Do It? Steve Will Do It got kicked off more so for the gambling stuff. Because he was saying he was going to places where it was legal and just obviously lying about it over and over again. And that's what got him kicked off YouTube. Will Do It. That's heartbreaking. We got to get Shu back in here.
Starting point is 01:47:03 He's got a stacked girlfriend. He does. You got to Shoe Nice on PMT That's a big get Shoe Nice man You guys want guests? Yeah Be the perfect first day And it's guests
Starting point is 01:47:13 Shoe Nice would be good I would take him I would take him too I want him in person though I wanna see the eyes See if he could eat An entire like toolbox The podcast ends
Starting point is 01:47:23 When he finishes his mic. Brandon just left. Yeah, he's done. Brandon said to me the other day, he said, these one and a half REX are going to kill me. Oh, wow. So maybe it's not always me, huh? His voice goes out midway through the Brandon Walker show if you want to watch that tonight on air. Oh, that's right,
Starting point is 01:47:46 on YouTube. Wait, you already taped it? Oh my God, no, every day his voice goes out halfway through the show. That's super dangerous. What did he do? I think he just
Starting point is 01:47:54 vapes. He's vaping alcohol, so if you pump alcohol with a, like if you cork a bottle of beer or something and then pump it with a bike tire
Starting point is 01:48:00 or a bike pump. Oh, we shouldn't be telling people how to do that. It's not on you. It says 14 million views. It says do not do this.'t be telling people how to do that. It's gone. This has 14 million views. It says do not do this. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Don't do it. So that's the next case race? Go to him eating a cactus. I love that. I think I'm allowed to do that. I think you can, dude. Yeah. It's not drinking.
Starting point is 01:48:16 You don't drink. What? I can't fucking breathe? Oh, yeah. You eat a cactus? Yeah. These are Nepalese. This is why Shun Ice retired. Look how jacked he is. Oh. yeah. You cactus? Yeah. These are Nepali. This is why she and I survived.
Starting point is 01:48:25 Look how jacked he is. Oh. Damn. Oh. Oh. Oh. This needs to be in podcast form. Okay.
Starting point is 01:48:41 Looks like she holds a strap on him. Oh. Oh! Oh! You think he's playing it up, KB? Oh, I mean that's... You think he's playing it up real good? I have spikes in my lips. I sp...
Starting point is 01:48:58 He still has one more. No blood. Okay. Tastes like fruit. Ow! Okay. KB, that's how a real man handles a cactus. Shut up, dude.
Starting point is 01:49:16 I was eating two. Why is this the music? It's the two cactus challenge. I don't even know what your shit... Ah, man. What? cactus challenge I don't even know like what your shit oh man what oh I don't like that imagine the show as your buddies chowing down on a cactus damn yeah this guy this guy's just a perfect summation of, like, if you don't keep doing what you're doing,
Starting point is 01:49:50 someone's going to come along and do it better. Yeah. It doesn't matter if you were the first. Yeah, he got replaced by LAP. Steve Wiebe. Just coming in. Wow. Nerd, yeah.
Starting point is 01:50:01 Devastating. Brandon, we're going until 4. Really? No. That inhale you had was very panicked. Oh, we're going until 4. Really? No. That inhale you had was very panicked. Oh, I got to go. There's pressure on me to come in there. You can end it.
Starting point is 01:50:12 Sign us off. What should we be doing tonight? What should we be watching? 6 p.m. The Brandon Walker College Football Show goes to YouTube. The Barstool Sportsbook YouTube. That's right. Hell yes.
Starting point is 01:50:22 Check it out. If that video at any point in time gets 1 million views. my ears right love it everyone tune in please all yeah we want to pierce his ears tune in i will be giving you a real retweet a heartfelt retweet thank you very much i appreciate that i'm just down why it's time i haven't had i haven't had a house for two months and it's getting it's wearing on me. Want to go to my papa's? Kind of, yeah. You have to fuck tonight. I get to fuck tonight, but I don't want to fuck tonight. Dude, I would be cherishing that.
Starting point is 01:50:54 I'll fuck for you. You'll fuck for me? You stunt cock. Yeah. I appreciate it. Take part in my consensual sexual ritual. I will. Chill down, Brandon.
Starting point is 01:51:04 You got to give me the notes i'm just tired today's a big deal you're up yeah i know but i can't i can't i can't shake it i just you just spoke a doobie i gotta move later this week i've been killing a daily show and now you get to amplify its audience 10x it's a college football season we're back no i'm moving i'm moving friday are you moving to same town i had a house in before. Oh, no show Friday, by the way, for everyone at home. Really? No. I thought we said no because the office is closed.
Starting point is 01:51:30 Oh, okay. It is? Tomorrow I'm leaving Wednesday morning. Let's go, dude. Maybe I'll go somewhere this weekend. Yeah, no show Friday. Mississippi State opens against Memphis on Saturday. We can get you down there.
Starting point is 01:51:39 Where at? Memphis? At Starkville. Oh, no. I'm coming down to Memphis. I'll be out tomorrow, but I'll be back on Wednesday. I've got to go to Stu Feiner's house. Pray for me. I'm coming down to Memphis. I'll be out tomorrow, but I'll be back on Wednesday. I gotta go to Stu Feiner's house.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Pray for me. What are you gonna do over there? I gotta do a Frisbee golf video, and then we gotta... Where's that bitch Kate today? Oh, yeah. Where is that bitch? Oh, yeah. Probably rearing her child.
Starting point is 01:52:00 What a moron. Do they get periods on Mondays? Sheesh. Sheesh. She did a video with that kid yesterday, what a moron do they get periods on Mondays sheesh she did a video with that kid yesterday and that kid's the fucking cutest fucking kid yeah he's a cute kid it's wild to say from a man who's sired for I know it's unbelievable
Starting point is 01:52:15 only like two and a half of mine were cute it's actually about time for you to be thinking about another one maybe tonight's the night I've got to the end of the year. You want me to impregnate my wife tonight, Ron?
Starting point is 01:52:26 Yeah. Bother me about that for a while. Do it. All right. I'll come at my wife. Nice. Yeah, what should we call it if it's going on today?
Starting point is 01:52:33 It's like you're trying to piss me off now. Text us after. It's like you're intentionally trying to piss me off talking about fucking your own wife. What if we called the baby Hercules Mulligan? Woo!
Starting point is 01:52:42 Shoot ice walker. Ooh. Why Mulligan? It's a cool name. Hercules Mulligan. Wanted that Ice Walker. Ooh. Why Mulligan? That's a cool name. Hercules Mulligan. Wanted that one back? That is a fire name. I think that was one of Alexandra Hamilton's boys.
Starting point is 01:52:52 Hercules Mulligan. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. They lived in New York together when they were late teens. Hercules Walker. The wheel decided its name. Yeah, we'll all submit a name. And then we'll wheel for it.
Starting point is 01:53:02 Yes. I've got to make her pregnant first. We can't just do it now. No, no, no. Because I think it's almost destiny if you submit a name. And then we'll wheel for it. Yes. I've got to make her pregnant first. No, no, no. Because I think it's almost destiny if you have a name. Ooh, can you make her pregnant at the $12 show? Each day we'll spend the week impregnating her that night. That's the name.
Starting point is 01:53:14 That's the name. A lot has to happen, yeah. Yeah, a lot of moving parts on that one. A lot of lovemaking. Yeah. How are you going to go about it? The lovemaking? Aw. How are you going to go about it? The lovemaking? Awkwardly, probably.
Starting point is 01:53:29 They've got a letter on top. That's how they get impregnated. Is it really? I don't think that's true. It's the opposite. It's impossible to impregnate if they're on top. Because of gravity. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:53:39 Yeah, you're impregnating yourself, basically. Okay. Can't come on your back. Good to have everyone back tune in 6pm tonight do it you better
Starting point is 01:53:50 alright see you in a while it's gotta be Hercules Mulligan I think we can we can It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Thank you.

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