The Yak - Rone Gets His Cast Sawed Off Live On Air | The Yak 8-29-22
Episode Date: August 29, 2022Shoutout Dr. DanYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Oh, all the boys are back.
Nick, baby. Oh, all the boys are back. Nick.
Baby.
Roan, Brandon, Owen.
No sass, no Lil Sass.
Yeah, no Lil Sass.
Where's Lil Sass?
He's got a mental health thing.
Oh, really?
If he dies, what do you think should happen to son of a boy dad?
Probably go to the moon.
Lil Sass should be like...
And the word deceased. I think Lil Sass could be like a Batman.
When one dies, you get another.
Yeah, definitely get another Little Sass.
This Little Sass looks a lot like Francis.
And then we also have
Roan's nurse here. Dr. Dan.
Dr. Dan, swing that mic
close to yourself, Dr. Dan.
What's up, Dr. Dan?
How's it going, guys? Now it's Dr. Dan, swing that mic close to yourself. Dr. Dan, what's up, Dr. Dan? How's it going, guys?
Yeah.
All right.
Now it's Dr. Dan.
Dr. Dan put this cast on me, and today Dr. Dan is in to get this cast off of me.
Oh, that's what it is.
Yeah, he got a cast to get off of me.
What was the hardest part?
Any incidences that were like, yeah, I can't do what I want to do right now
I wanted to exercise and I really haven't been able to exercise
Has everybody smelled it?
That's it yeah
That's such a lame
I think we add a cast huff to the wheel
Yeah that's such a lame answer
Yeah it's been trouble fucking
I need to get a cast so I can just be like wow I would be going to the gym
Well that's the hand you grab titties with, right, Ron?
Yeah, it's my only, I mean, my right hand, I wouldn't know what to do.
But I was told I wasn't allowed to sweat in it.
I was told I wasn't supposed to exercise, even ride a bike.
I wound up riding bikes because I just felt slovenly about myself.
But the attention is nice, though.
But people ask stupid fucking questions.
They're like, what, did you twist it?
I didn't fucking twist it
twist it
you twist it
like oh is it
just a sprain
no it's not just a sprain
what did you twist it
but the fucking
I have been like
Aaron Rodgers
off the fucking Perky's
since I've had it on
I've been playing
every game on Perks
does it help
or like is it
yeah Dr. Dan
gave me a script
Dr. Dan gave me
a legend
you left your prescription book here actually yeah we've been running it up Does it help? Yeah, Dr. Dan gave me a script. Dr. Dan gave me a legend.
You left your prescription book here, actually.
Yeah, we've been running it up.
I noticed it was a couple of sheets light.
Wait, so Dr. Dan, what are, like, we're going to, do we have a saw?
Can we, can, Nick is the one who should saw.
Yeah, you're right.
Nick is the, well, I mean, you did surgery on.
On his toe. Oh, my God.
I did surgery on you.
You should get to do it back on him.
That's perfectly fair.
Yeah.
There's no really dangerous arteries in the wrist.
Nah.
That's a problem medically.
You can leave now and just leave the saw.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, I mean.
Never saw you.
That's right.
Yeah, no, there's no evidence that I was here at all.
Okay, perfect.
You're right.
This isn't live.
I gotta be honest.
That subtitle on the screen up there is probably not doing me any favors.
No, cast expert.
Are you a cast expert?
I'm an orthopedic surgery resident in New York.
So you're not a doctor yet?
No, I am a doctor.
Isn't residency like you're getting to be a doctor?
No, you graduated med school over four years ago now.
Which JD and scrubs are you? Season one, two, and three? I think you're season four scr ago now. Which J.D. and Scrubs are you?
Season one, two, and three?
I think you're season four, Scrubs.
You're season four?
I haven't watched Scrubs in a while.
Where'd you graduate in your class?
I don't know.
I was like the top third.
Yeesh.
Who knows?
Let's go.
Let's go.
And you can tell by the cast.
It's upper echelon casting that he's done the entire time.
It's been dangerous.
You're a drink grab right there.
I'm not going to lie.
The second day when you came in and you were like, yeah, I got it super wet in the shower.
He can tell you.
I DMed him on Twitter.
I was like, how wet did it get?
Well, I had a trash bag on it, a paper bag.
I had a trash bag on it, but it kind of like trickled down and it was like getting wet.
And when it was wet that day, it was wet for an entire was wet for an entire day dr dan can i ask you a question yeah i have a lot of questions
too because this is you're now our doctor dr dan you're a resident yeah does your hospital look
fondly on you just casting uninjured people uh no to be honest yeah sorry uh yeah i uh are you on a
sick day or are you taking off no i had no i had a i
had a surgery this morning that i did but i had i made some room in the middle of the day what a
day um kyle do you want to ask him about your lip thing um i was a mucosis cyst mucosis mucosis
where is it uh was the medical term is mucosis iosis, I think. But it was in the inside of my lip
for about a month. I was joking.
It was about the size of a shooter marble, the one that
you hit the other marbles with.
Painless, but it wouldn't go
away. It did go away, but I was worried.
Well, there was pain because people said
you had an STD. There was emotional pain.
Yes. Yeah, it was tough to
be on my
debut reality show and being on the perfect cameras.
So what was your question?
I just wanted to tell you I had it.
It did go away.
I'll keep that in mind for sure.
Maybe also had a cancer scare, and then you get red skin as well.
I've never told you this.
I think it's lupus.
Thank God Sass isn't here today.
Oh my God.
What did I miss wheel-wise?
Well, let's get the...
There's now
a job wheel, which we can
explain. We've taken off
double writs permanently.
Do you want to get this cast off, Ron?
Dr. Dan, is there anything else? Dr. Dan's a busy guy, right? Do we want to get this cast off, Ron? Dr. Dan, is there anything else?
Dr. Dan's a busy guy, right?
Do we need to know?
No, I mean it's...
Does anyone want to smell it while it's still on?
Yeah, it's going to smell terrible, I'm assuming, right?
Can we do something with it?
I think a cast huff, we keep it in here
every once in a while.
I think we should smoke some of the cotton.
Castluge?
Bullhead of the cotton.
It's very nice, but it stinks after.
I can't imagine people who have cast for, like, what's the standard wrist cast?
Four weeks?
Yeah, four to six.
Six weeks?
It's stinky.
Here's a question for you, Dr. Dan.
This has nothing to do with my life whatsoever,
but mixing mushrooms and cocaine at the same time,
is that bad?
Unrelated to your weekend.
Correct.
Don't do it.
Do it. Probably don't do it.
I'm not here to tell you. Okay, alright, alright.
I respect that. Relay that to your friend.
Yeah, I will.
Text him right now.
Would you, this is another one.
So I might every year do a pinky bet.
If I lose, would you take off the tip of my pinky?
Are you legally allowed to do that?
I mean, that's probably a little bit dicier than.
What if you went offshore?
On his wrist.
What if you went to the international waters?
Yeah.
What if I rented a boat and we went on the East River?
We sort of do like opening the college basketball.
We just went on like an aircraft carrier.
Yeah.
It kind of happened.
Yes.
Who's to say?
Just the tip.
Right.
Who's to say how it got cut off?
I was there.
You were there, and it got cut off.
Right.
That's not just the tip, what you just did.
I want the nail up.
Yeah.
Oh, that's more than a tip.
I think the tip's right at the very edge, right?
No, no, no.
I want no nail.
I mean, I've cut the tips of people's fingers off.
Really?
Well, like if somebody like does it to themselves and you have to like complete it and then
try to, you know, rearrange the tip.
Rearrange, okay.
Wait, so how do people do it to themselves?
They all get it caught in like a saw or something like that?
I mean, anything.
So the Texans won't win the Super Bowl? yeah exactly deshaun watson gets hot you know and
then yeah exactly is there any have you thought about your pinky bet for this year or you kind
of just have to see half midway through the season it's whoever starts oh and two that was supposed
to be a uh super bowl contender damn yeah that's fucking dicey. Yeah. People come back from O2. I kind of just, like, it's not an if, it's just a when.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I probably won't have the tip of my pinky for the rest of my life.
You're dying without a tip of your pinky.
Right, right.
Once you realize that, I'm kind of, I've already mourned.
You see that shark video just a couple weeks ago?
It was, like, a dad and a shark, like, twisted his finger off,
and he was just like, ah, I lost my finger.
Like, he just was more frustrated than anything.
It wasn't like he was crying
or gushing blood.
It was more just like,
God damn, this freaking finger's off.
I saw my grandpa lose his finger.
I was the only one there.
He was working on the truck
and his wedding ring got stuck in the tire
and it rolled away.
I saw my grandpa's finger get off.
Did he cry?
No, no.
He played it cool.
I almost lost a finger as a baby.
Really?
Yeah, in an exercise bicycle chain.
My cousin was riding it, and I put my hand into it.
Sounds like your loser dad wasn't watching after you.
Yeah.
I guess that's true.
So, Dr. Dan, do you, like, how often do you just kind of, like, make it up?
Make up what?
Like, I don't really know what I'm doing here.
Yeah.
I mean.
Or other doctors.
How much do they do?
Every time you do surgery, there's like a certain amount of you just have to.
That's the time to wing it, yeah.
Yeah.
No, I mean you go in with a plan always.
And, you know, when you've done similar operations in the past, there's certain principles you stick to.
But every case has like a little bit of a different is surgery like adrenaline start to finish or
does it become like mundane you're like this is boring uh usually by the end so like when you're
first doing it every time you get to do something for the first couple of times it's like super
exciting um and then when you're doing like the main parts of the operation it's always super
exciting it's like stimulating your brain the most and you're thinking like the main parts of the operation, it's always super exciting. It's like stimulating your brain the most.
And you're thinking about everything that's going on in the room.
But,
um,
once you kind of like start like suturing the wound,
close and stuff,
you know,
a lot of people don't know this,
but like a lot of times the attending surgeon,
the person who's like most in charge,
like once the main part of the surgery is done,
they just like book it.
Yeah.
They just,
yeah,
they leave,
they go and dictate the case,
like say what happened.
And then,
you know,
as long as you have a qualified, like senior level resident in the room they'll
just you know let them close the wound put the cast on that kind of stuff what's the hardest
surgery to do uh i mean there's all sorts of surgeries i don't know how to do because they're
like not orthopedic but i mean orthopedic surgeries there's a lot of the pelvis is really
complicated yeah so i forget about the pelvis How many dicks have you seen?
I was going to say, I can handle the blood.
I couldn't handle the sponge baths to the senile.
I don't know if that's what he does.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, just generally.
I mean, nine to five, I'm not doing that.
As a hobby.
Well, you know.
You're off the clock at a certain point.
You get to just kind of enjoy yourself and spread your wings.
Yeah, that's fucking gross.
But I feel like some doctors before surgery will, like, blast some fucking heavy metal and shit.
Like, get in the mood.
Like, get fired up for it.
I mean, it's not even so much before the surgery, but pretty frequent.
I mean, it varies surgeon to surgeon.
But I would say most surgeons that I work with at least like some level of music playing during surgery.
Who's the GOAT like television
and movie doctor?
Good question.
I mean, you know,
House was pretty cool.
Just gimping around. Oh no.
You don't like House? No, House is just
Perry Cox from Scrubs and they just built
a show around him. That's all it is. No, it's not.
Yes, it is. That's all it is. It's all ethical questions. Yeah, but they just took Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs and they just built a show around him. That's all it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. That's all it is.
It's all ethical questions.
Yeah, but they just took
Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs
and they wrote a whole show
about him
and they got Hugh Laurie
to play him.
It's definitely
George Clooney from ER.
That kind of predates me.
Sorry.
Yeah, what is he?
A fucking 600 years old?
He's not 70 years old
like you.
Don't sass me, Dr. Day.
Don't fucking sass me
in front of all these people.
Imagine walking around with a strong opinion about TV doctors.
Dreamy as well.
That's just Brandon's day-to-day.
Yeah.
List it, brother.
I don't even know any of these people.
Not to mention the doctors we can't even talk about anymore.
Rookian?
Fauci?
Yuki?
Cosby?
Buxtable?
Ah.
Yeah. Damn. All right. Bummer. Like Rookian Fauci Yuki Cosby Ah Damn Alright
Bummer
Alright let's get this shit off
Let's get the
Yeah buzz me off
I wanna see you
Let's get Nick doing it
I might as well
Yeah let's get
How do you get it off
What is the tool
I don't think we can let Nick do it
Let's see the tool
I'll pull it out one second
I don't think we can let Nick do it
I like Dr. Dan
I like Dr. Dan too
If I ever get hurt I'm'm going to have to help.
He's got a good bedside manner.
Even when he was putting it on, he just has a very calm...
Like, I would take a cancer diagnosis from him.
Dr. Dan, do you get bitches?
He has to.
Dude.
He has to.
Are you kidding me?
He fucks with us.
Yeah.
I have a girlfriend.
Oh, he's got a girlfriend.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Look at him, though.
Oh, shit.
He's beautiful, man.
He's a good-looking looking guy Nick's not using that
It's like think about how everything
And let's just pretend Dr. Dan's not here right now
Think about like everything that has to go into his day to day
For him to get to this point in his life
Where he's like I don't know 30
A doctor
Good looking
Like he just
Every time you were getting drunk or being a fucking lazy piece of shit,
Dr. Dan was doing something.
His whole life is winning.
When I had a bad day at work, post-Ruff and Rowdy, I had to take a week off.
A bad day at work, I mean, I can't compare.
Yeah.
A pelvis doesn't get fixed.
No.
That's right.
I always forget about the pelvis.
Always.
I can get this wet just to cool the salt out.
Okay.
Oh, we got a wheel for that.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. You can go get it wet.
There's a bathroom right there.
I might remember it from...
Imagine somebody waiting
for surgery and just be like,
where is Dr. Dan?
And they just turn on...
They go to YouTube
because they're bored.
Oh, no.
Someone should break
their leg right now.
Dr. Dan's wild.
Nick, what are you doing?
You're wearing shorts?
Yeah, so Roan and I had to film a boxing thing this morning,
and the shorts that they bought for us,
they accidentally got us youth sizes,
so just in case of backup, I wore shorts,
but I did fit into the youth shorts.
You're Nazis showing right now.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Like Sidney Sweeney.
I'm standing in solidarity with her.
But you've been wearing shorts more often, though.
Yeah.
I like it.
I feel like you're ashamed of your legs
when they're beautiful.
They're just...
They're aerodynamic.
They cut through the air.
So are our airplane wings.
It was fire.
You could bring that stool over,
or I could come by here,
or KB could switch seats if that's more.
Actually, that'll probably work the best.
Awesome.
I love this.
KB, sorry, bro.
I mean, other YouTube shows.
Look at that tool.
Live on air.
Who?
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about the thing he's got in his hand.
Oh, I thought you were fucking coming at Dr. Dan.
Look at it. I was about to bash you. Dan, I'm talking about the thing he's got in his hand. Oh, I thought you were fucking coming at Dr. Dan. Look at it.
I was about to bash you.
Dan, I guess just plug that in and then get the fuck out.
Yes.
While he's doing that, Brandon, your show's going to YouTube.
Yes.
You're in college football, and you have pool in the college football world,
so if I was going to WVU Pitt, you could get me field passes or something, probably.
Need that?
Yeah.
Got you.
Four.
Four? I don't you. Four. Four?
I don't know.
Yeah, the Brandon Walker College Football Show goes on YouTube today.
Exciting move.
By the way, Dan, can I get a retweet from you at 6 p.m.?
Not you, Dr. Dan.
I'm a big busy, sorry.
No, no, no.
You asked Dr. Dan.
Dr. Dan has a Twitter.
That's how he reached out to me first.
So that'll satisfy your Dan retweet.
Okay, so we're going to cut it.
Tell us what's going to happen first.
I'm just going to sort of say your elbow.
You can put it right here.
That'd be great.
Just say what's going to happen into the mic first,
and then we'll spin it out of the way.
All right, so basically you're just going to take this saw
and just straight up the back here.
Just cut it that way and then flip it over the other way.
What stops it from fucking cutting my skin or my veins?
Well, me, and it's a special kind of a saw that really doesn't, and then flip it over the other way. What stops it from fucking cutting my skin or my veins?
Well, me, and it's a special kind of a saw that really doesn't spin.
It just vibrates, so it cuts through the fiberglass without cutting through any of the softer stuff.
That's cool tech.
The thing is it does get hot,
so that's why you'll see me put this on it to cool it down.
Dr. Dan, how much money to cut him just a little bit?
I don't know.
I can give you $350,000.
I thought you were asking how much
is he going to pay? Cash.
Is that Brandon's tattoo money? Yeah, that is his tattoo money.
Well, that's irrelevant now because
I'm the king of the south, so it doesn't... That's true.
What if the Brandon Walker YouTube
channel gets 100k subs?
Well, I don't have a YouTube
channel. It's just on the Barstool Sportsbook.
I'm actually staying away from YouTube channels.
Yeah, we saw what happened
in wrestling.
That's still going though, right?
That's why I choose to have interviews that have sub-million views.
Okay, let's do it.
Cut him up.
Hell no. What?
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Dude, no. What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, dude, no.
What's that?
Oh.
This is giving me the willies, dude.
I feel like I'm in peril.
Why am I so jealous?
I want that sensation.
I know.
I want to feel that.
Fucking badass.
I feel like at the end of Aladdin when the genie's...
You're about to have your hand back, bro.
I know.
What about all my sympathy, though?
Wait, leave it on, Doc.
There's a Hey Arnold episode.
Look at that.
It's right along my fucking...
Oh my god.
Look at that.
That is scary.
Dr. Dan's the best doctor ever. I felt a poke on that one, Dr. Dan's the best doctor ever.
I felt a poke on that one, Dr. Dan.
Okay.
See it.
Flex out of it like The Rock did in Fast 6.
I wasn't strong enough.
Can we keep the tool?
It's kind of like a lobster cutting.
Jaws of life.
Look at that.
Yo-ho.
Is he free?
Can KB rip this?
Could I?
Yeah, let him try.
Come on, KB.
What if he breaks your arm trying to do it?
Yeah, that would be awesome.
Come on, KB.
I think you could.
It's just cotton.
Has it been done?
It's never been done before.
I don't want to attempt a feat that is impossible.
My boy doesn't want you to embarrass him, Dr. Dan.
He can do it.
He can do it.
He can do it.
It's going to be hard.
You could cut him with the sharp edge.
You want to pre-cut it for him?
He can't just rip.
Oh, okay.
Here we go.
I'll.
You're out.
And now we're calling some type of.
Yeah.
What are we listening to?
Huh?
Look at that.
That's so cool.
Can you smell it, Rum?
Maybe you should be able to rip this, dude.
KB, I know.
This is somehow more nerve-wracking than the song.
Yeah, it's too quiet.
I don't like listening to heartbeats.
Yeah, it reminds me of my own.
There's no way this can keep up.
Yeah, like it's going to stop.
Thanks for the reminder of my mortality, TJ.
Whoa.
Look at that.
That's how it goes?
Whoa, dude, what happened to your arm?
Ew.
Ew, it's completely atrophied.
Oh, yeah, it is.
I'm skinny now.
Look at that wrist. Compare it to theied. Oh, yeah, it is. I'm skinny now. Look at that wrist.
Compare it to the other.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
I can't tell.
I was always skinny.
Who wants to take the first whiff?
I do.
Yeah.
I would like a whiff as well.
Oh, that's...
This shit probably smells terrible, too.
Yeah, I mean, this is the stuff that was against us.
Oh, that doesn't smell great.
Oh, this isn't as bad as that.
Smell right on the...
Yeah.
Oh, it smells...
Oh, it's...
It smells like dick.
Breathe in.
Breathe in, asshole.
Breathe in, breathe in.
I had a weak-ass burrito for breakfast.
What does that mean?
Oh! All right, well, Dr. Dan, Breathe in. Had a weak-ass burrito for breakfast. What does that mean? Oh.
All right, well, Dr. Dan, thank you.
Thank you.
Wow.
That was...
I mean, the fact that we had someone who was able to do this start to finish was incredible.
What do you know about Roan, like, personally?
I know that he's had a cast on his wrist for the last week.
Yeah.
That's in his file, though. All right. We went to high school together, bro. So we should do a cast on his wrist for the last week. Yeah, that's in his file, though.
We went to high school together, bro.
So we should do a cast on the leg next?
You actually do live in the same building as somebody I work with, too.
Are you serious?
Roan's making surgeon money?
No, it's somebody who works at our hospital.
It's his secretary.
I knew someone was going to do that.
But yeah, she texted me
when the video first came out. She was like,
I live in Roan's building.
One of your patients.
Well, he is.
A little HIPAA violation? Yeah, that is true.
By her. That is true by her.
But, uh, damn, I don't think
I know who it is, which makes it weirder for me.
Sorry. No, no, no.
It's not weird at all, dude. You've been the man
through all this. You've been so clinically helpful.
Actually, Dr. Dan's dating your wife.
You didn't realize that.
Oh, no, Dr. Dan.
This thing does smell.
I thought the cast smelled familiar.
It smells like Dr. Dan's dick.
Shit.
Okay, well, Dr. Dan, you are now our official
doctor. Whenever we need you, we will be calling upon you.
Yeah, man, if you guys ever decide to do some dumb shit like this.
I want full leg cast.
Yeah, I can do anything.
You said that would be way worse and harder.
It would be worse.
What about double arm?
Oh, double arm would be funny.
Does anybody get those cartoonish full body molds anymore?
Oh, yeah.
No, we don't really
but those are like plaster right didn't you say there's like two types you could get the plaster
yeah yeah you can do yeah plaster is like the uh like rookie of the year where he's got like the
big yeah yeah yeah wing yeah yeah exactly like the whole thing is just like white and you know
paper mache kind of looking thing that's plaster this is obviously fiberglass the newer stuff that
we use okay well yeah we'll definitely be calling upon you again we just got to figure out who and what yeah the
full body cast for a day oh it'd be so funny or a hip cast something bad always happens the full
body is possible though i i mean i've i've never put one of those on i suppose it's possible
anything's possible every day you're a. I would go to the bar.
That's right.
Wheel you there?
Yeah.
Can you do an ass?
What is it like?
Can you make me a diaper?
Just like a hip cast.
Is that what that is?
Ass isn't a bone.
Could I put like a cast around like your...
Everything.
Like your dick and your ass?
A dick and my ass.
A full face would be funny
full face yeah
just a couple holes
yeah I probably
wouldn't do that
cause
oh
might
like kill him
could you
could you leave us
the supplies
nah I don't think so
ah
full face would be
find a way
oh funny yeah
you're passing the test
though you're ethical
as fuck
yeah you are
dude appreciate you, Dan.
I'll walk you out and also wash my hands.
Thank you, Dan.
Anything to plug?
A vegetable.
I got surgery tonight.
A vegetable.
Yeah, a vegetable.
Come check me out.
It'll be an OR5.
It's going to be sick.
Oh, yeah.
That's cooler than a dumbass podcast.
Much.
Real low, guys.
Thanks, sir.
Thank you.
We really appreciate it.
If you guys need anything similar in the future, I'm always happy to do that.
Oh, yeah.
Dr. Dan rules.
Having this as a resource is dangerous.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Knowing that we can get a cast on and off very quickly.
Very quickly.
It just opens up so many possibilities.
Amazing we went this far without an official show doctor.
I know.
It feels good knowing that if anything bad happens, we just have Dr. Dan on call.
We have a lawyer.
We have a doctor now.
We should get him a beeper just for us.
That should be done immediately.
Yeah. Love that guy.
Awesome guy.
Too nice. And handsome.
There's got to be something.
That's just a person. That's just
how people behave. Oh, they're nice.
Yeah.
Anyone else wanted to fucking beat
Dr. Dan's ass? Because he was
being way too nice.
It was his problem.
All right.
Well, what's up, boys?
Hey, how was Alaska?
It was beautiful.
Feels good to have you guys back.
Yeah, yeah.
It feels great to be back.
Alaska was great.
It was.
I recommend everybody do it.
It was great, yeah.
Favorite trip you guys did?
Easily.
Yes, I was in awe.
Easily.
And being around beautiful stuff, you don't really have to do anything for the video.
That's very true.
All you need is a drone.
Yep.
And you had a drone.
Had a drone.
Solely.
Done.
You should just make a whole drone video and that's it.
Yeah.
It's going to look like a screensaver.
Yeah.
And they'll be like, wow, the boys crushed this one.
Was this the best one?
Do you think it was the best content?
Oh, we had some really good stuff.
I think it's like the most unique stuff.
Oh, yes.
You can't really compare.
Like the town that only has one building that everybody lives in and everything's in was
odd.
It's got a lot.
It's going to be good.
Yeah.
Love it.
Very excited.
Anyone get in any fights?
No, it was like the most peaceful, unproblematic one week of my life.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Look at you guys.
You guys come back and you're like, oh, that kind of.
Right, yeah.
No, this was, it's amazing what like a nice trip can do.
Yeah.
You guys just went on vacation.
It was, yeah.
It was. Fuck yes. Probably my best vacation. Well, you guys just went on vacation. Yeah. It was...
Fuck yes.
Probably my best vacation.
Well, you guys stayed
in the same house
the whole time, right?
Yeah.
That's huge.
But the house itself was huge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But having a central location
that you can unpack.
Oh, it was great.
Yeah.
It had a shuffleboard,
like the tabletop shuffleboard,
pool table.
How long was the flight?
Eight hours?
Seven and a half,
but it was direct.
Easy.
Easy. This all sounds too direct. Easy. Easy.
This all sounds too good.
The flight there was not good.
What went wrong?
The flight there was not good for me.
Okay.
Why?
I got to the airport five hours early.
Donnie told me to do red wine.
It's the calming alcohol.
So I had eight glasses of red wine.
And then the older woman sitting next to me got me two
shots of tequila oh sit down on the plane uh first class very first seat i was i think i was right
next to uh a yukon basketball coach uh the or i think a i don't know but i was so fucked up
and uh the plane took off i fell. I woke up like four hours later.
Sprinted to the bathroom.
Puked.
Oh.
All in the plane bathroom.
Oh.
Toilet.
The sink.
I felt awful.
Did they hear you?
Yeah.
And the flight attendant was amazing.
She rubbed my shoulders and let me sit in her seat.
And she sat me down.
And she was like, what's the matter?
And I said, oh, I get motion sickness.
And she went. And she came back. And she was like, I don't know how to tell you this but we found blood in your vomit it was all the red wine uh i think you should go to the doctor as soon as we
land like okay okay i will and then uh they had to close that bathroom so everybody in first class
had to walk to the back of the plane to go to the bathroom i don't know if this is a real story
yeah because she sent me a pic she showed me a picture of a...
I believe it, dude.
Here's a picture of her.
Red wine vomit very much looks like you're dying.
Yeah.
And she thought it was hilarious
that they had to close the bathroom,
and she put a sign over the sink
that said, do not use icky.
True story.
Did you get her number?
She was very, very old.
Yeah, I did.
Okay, nice. Nice. I did. Okay, nice.
Nice.
What did we miss, though?
Oh, yeah, we have Job Wheel now, which is going to be very fun when we hit it.
So the idea is that if you hit Job Wheel, you have to apply for a job until you get one.
Okay.
I've been wanting to do this on my own, but yeah.
Yeah, we'll make it a video series.
The funniest part about this is we'll be taking it
from somebody that needs it
Correct
And maybe also getting Stephen Che a job
so he's out of our life
When are we talking about that, by the way?
Sweet
Jobs I like
Stephen Che is
something
He literally was like, credit to the Bucs.
We didn't draft a rapist.
This was...
You ever wonder what the perfect amount of Stephen Che is
and then multiply that and see how far?
This was too far.
This was too much Stephen Che.
He's just...
And it's...
He also...
We were texting with him being like,
God damn it, Stephen.
He's like, should I delete it?
It's like, no, because he's the only person in the world who can get away with that.
Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know what his line is.
He's just, he actually texted me today when I was doing something.
He's like, can you give me a comparison to our new hire, Dan Rappaport, in the NFL world?
I was like, what the fuck, dude?
Yeah, what?
He's just.
Not everything can be compared.
He's just...
He really is...
If SNL did a parody of NFL fans,
he would just be Stephen Jay's personality.
Now, wait.
I was trying to think of a worse version of his tweet
to quote tweet it with for like an hour.
And you couldn't.
It was the worst possible.
To find a silver lining in the rape scandal.
That's the worst thing you could do.
I was thinking of like, instead of tweeting it, it was a video and he said, rapey pee.
Yeah.
Oh, gee.
Yeah, rapey pee.
He also, the fact that he assumes that it was some like moral line in the sand that
the Bucs took.
You got to do it in the impression.
Yeah.
I'm not doing it.
What would he say? Rapey pee? Rapey pee? Yeah. You got to do it in the impression. I'm not doing it.
Ray Pee Pee?
Yeah.
The thing is, he didn't think of this as a tragedy.
He thought of this as a strategic move.
They knew.
They didn't tell.
They pulled a fast one on the Bills.
I also like the quotes around Punk God,
so I'll read it out to anyone who's listening on the podcast.
He tweeted, Shout out to the Buccaneers front office and scouts for not drafting matt oriza they took punter jake kamarda
just before the punt god was taken now oriza is out of a job just leaves out why lots of background
work done during the pre-draft process that doesn't get any shine but should today and he
thought he was like doing his like friends in the front office solid yeah like i'm giving him some shine some major props like yeah they withheld that
yeah dude i got steven shade in a bad way this weekend oh no he hit me up at 12 30 on saturday
and he was like dude i know your buddy colin's in town but uh i have this like fantasy draft
fantasy league that i want i'm trying to get into.
It's Mince's League.
And I want you to like manage a team with me.
And I was like, all right, I'm just going to be sitting here watching college football anyway.
It was – it started at 2 o'clock.
I tapped out at like 6.30.
What? It was going on at 8 o'clock.
I left my headphones on and I would just hear them still like auction drafting players on at 8 o'clock. I had left my headphones on, and I would just hear them still, like, auction-drafting players at, like, 8 o'clock when he fired off that tweet.
Just a day of being on a Zoom call with Stephen Che and Mincy and all Mincy's boys from back home.
Just the fucking longest slog of a fucking fantasy draft.
What the fuck?
It was preposterous.
We had three players three hours in.
Who's that guy?
That's Howell.
You guys did miss Mincey got fired.
Did he?
Oh, that's what we missed.
Yeah, that is what you missed.
That would have been the best.
It was something else.
As soon as it happened, I'm like, he's going to come out of this on top.
Oh, he did.
It seems like he did.
I came back Friday to get a charger, and he was pacing the office.
He was the last man standing.
Cornered me for 45 minutes, told me why it's the best thing that ever happened to him.
It's because Dave sees that he's the star and the next heir of the company.
He said that?
Yeah.
He is.
He's the heir of the company. That is true. Yeah. He is. He's the heir of the company.
That is true.
Oh, but it is true. Dave is like
it's just iron sharpens iron.
The only reason Dave got mad
Mincy's first
piece of content is going to be fire.
The only reason
Dave got mad is because he saw
he sees a young Dave Portnoy
in Ben Mintz.
Yeah.
So he was.
If you get a chance to coach yourself, coach him hard.
Look at the numbies.
Wow.
Well, he had Northwestern Moneyline.
Yeah, true.
Why don't you have college football experts?
Didn't you have Nebraska?
He's a college football expert.
Why didn't y'all sell my crown?
Why did y'all sell my crown?
What?
Because it sucked.
They sold my crown.
It literally was like
if you pass them together like paper.
No, but this one's too...
I can't wear this one.
Mincy probably bought it
with all that money
he won on Northwestern Moneyline.
Yeah, he was fucking...
Was that a hammer whale play?
Oh, it was a hammer whale play.
Yeah.
He was bragging about it
the entire fantasy draft.
Oh, no.
Come on.
He's down 15 to 25,
somewhere in that range.
And, man, that's impressive.
Yeah, he's skinny as fuck.
He's down 15 to 25 pounds
and up 15 to 25,000 gambling, bro.
He's fucking raking.
Yeah.
What about a new journalist, right?
Huh?
You got a golf guy?
Yeah, yeah.
Jake's buddy?
Yeah, he's the one, yeah.
Stephen Che wants me to give him an analogy of who he's like in the NFL.
Were you able to?
I don't know.
I just didn't respond to that text.
Meanwhile, Nick got cut out of the money on foreplay.
Poor bastard.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I saw that.
How long have you been writing for them?
Since before I started, I was freelancing, writing the comedic bits of it.
I saw Rick's tweet that they hired him as the fourth chair.
Correct.
I thought they had four chairs.
It seems like Lurch might be out.
Oh, okay.
He posted a video saying as such.
Forcefully?
He was forcefully saying it.
Screaming it. Oh my god.
Is he still going to do cameos, Lurch?
I'm going to Stu's house tomorrow.
That pool's going to be empty when they get out.
That water has
been displaced violently.
What is Frank doing?
What's Mintz doing?
Is he standing like
a frog?
Or is he like six feet apart on the ground?
Yeah, he's perched.
He's like a gargoyle.
Frank's caught constantly on living.
Frank is drowning.
Run and roll.
It's Aria.
Aria.
Run and roll.
All right.
Yeah, we're going tomorrow.
I believe there was a new mint sound on Pick Central today as well.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Can you tease it?
One of my favorites.
To the point where I even said, what was that sound?
It was a good tease.
It was like a car that wouldn't turn over in a crank.
I'll get DMs from guys that'll just be like a Pick Central timestamp.
I'm very appreciative.
Love that.
Keep doing that.
Keep doing that.
We've got to have them make a compilation of it, too.
I want to just put them all together. Sound like some sort of dubstep.
Yeah.
Sound like bangerag.
Someone do that.
The guy who did the It's the Yak theme song,
he must be able to chef up some shit like that.
Yeah.
Kyle, I don't know about having you over on that side of the room.
I don't like it either.
Get over here.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And I have to go to Les with um the the one time that we
tried to do a wheel slice that was supposed to be good it ends up as the ultimate punishment for
for me because i have to go with steven and nate oh you got that yeah with steven and nate
and roan okay but like fiscally you can swing it yes but going to lunch with steven to a place that he's going to be like
oh what's this yeah are you going to be pressured to buy theirs i think so i think so too so you're
the worst person to get this yeah it's just going to be interesting uh he would have bought ours i
bet too yeah i definitely i would have bought everyone yeah there's a wrinkle i can tell by
your no the wrinkle has already hit the fact that it's Stephen Che and Big Cat is hilarious.
That is.
And it's, I think, the funniest pairing.
One of the only pairings that could have turned it into a punishment.
Yeah.
But somehow it is.
It's like the conversation I don't think is going to flow.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's going to be a little herky-jerky,
like learning to drive stick shift for the first time.
Yes.
KB, I like having you back over here, bro.
I like being able to look at you.
Yeah, this is where I belong.
Oh, is it nice to look at him?
Mm-hmm.
I always feel like he's got my fucking...
I got your back.
He's got my nine.
Mm-hmm.
It's in case some fucking shit flies off.
Any crazy shit happens.
Who's that guy?
Who is him? It was him.
That was one of the,
you missed the company meeting.
Yeah, what happened?
It was fucking sweet.
Actually, Nick won an award.
Yeah.
Best on the anus and the yak.
Newcomer of the year?
Yeah, so today is my one year
at Barstool.
Congrats.
Thank you.
No place I'd rather be.
And yeah, I won newcomcomer of the Year.
That's beautiful.
It was you and Trent.
Hoop Trent.
Hoop Trent.
Brandon, anything happen that you took offense to?
Usually we leave these all-company meetings
where you're like, I got left out of something.
Oh, I was the one that did the video.
Oh, you did?
I was the Wayne Brady of the video. Handed out the award. Oh, he got – No, I was the one – I did the video. Oh, you did? He's the Wayne Brady of the video.
Handed out the award.
Okay, so we did an internal video where I had to hand out all the awards.
It was supposed to be Mintzy.
Mintz did it.
Mintz recorded the whole thing.
It was like 20 minutes long, and then the King of the South thing happened,
and they rushed me into a studio and said, Brandon, redo it.
That's awesome.
And so I had to redo everything he did, and he came up to me that morning
and said, I think people are going to turn this afternoon when they see my video I did.
And I had already recorded his part.
Oh, no.
He knows that was for just a private meeting, right?
Yeah.
You did great, man.
Mincy definitely would have been like, by the end of the year,
been like, I did that video back in August.
I'm still recovering from the video.
You got the people going.
Yeah.
Mincy will find a way back.
Of course he will. He always does. He find a way back. Of course he will.
He always does.
He climbs his way back.
Yeah, that's one of the...
Wide Strait Panic's probably got some shows coming up.
Hogs for the Cause has their fall run that they're about to do.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I mean, for football season.
The prep work should have begun months ago.
Yeah, you've got to refine your technique.
You've really got to hone in your technique.
I like that guy. You like Hank? Yeah, it took me a while your technique. I like that guy.
You like Hank?
Yeah, it took me a while.
Boss man?
Hanky Hank.
Big boss man?
What do you like about him?
Has he given you any duties?
No, he's a great boss.
Yeah?
Yeah, things have been exponentially better for us.
Who was it before him?
I don't remember.
I don't think I've met him.
That's fucking sweet to have Hank in a power position like that.
Yeah, that's huge.
Yeah, don't fuck it up.
Did you guys cancel Sidney Sweeney?
I'm down to.
You got to factor in her two giant titties.
I said that on the run down.
I was like, could you imagine?
I would love to talk to the person who's like, man, I'm a big fan of Sidney Sweeney's titties.
Wait, her mom is a Trump fan?
I just can't get hard anymore.
His titties don't work anymore.
Oh, wow.
Wait, Owen went viral.
Yeah.
Somebody went viral just quote tweeting me.
Somebody went more viral quote tweeting you.
It's tough.
You infiltrated Hispanic Twitter?
Yeah, this is why they've all been canceled.
Yeah.
A few different places.
Who are the last two?
I don't know that one, but she's trans, but liked a non-binary medical post.
Oh, shit.
And then Maude Apatow's a nepotism non-binary medical post. Oh, shit.
And then Maude Apatow's a nepotism baby.
Yep.
Yeah.
Cancel her ass.
Canceled. Canceled.
These other two have dirt on them.
Zendaya used to date Ben Simmons.
Really?
Did she?
Early on, yeah.
Sheesh.
So, cancel her ass.
Canceled.
Canceled.
This shit is gross.
I refuse to play basketball.
He's mean.
He's mean?
To his basketball brethren.
He's Australian.
Yeah, but his accent's weird.
It goes in and out.
Yeah, because he's trying to lose it.
Because he's ashamed of who he is.
He doesn't have any pride.
He doesn't do the haka.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's right.
That's exactly what I love.
He has no facial Maori tattoos.
A lot of Paulies in Alaska.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
More than not.
A lot of...
Polynesian brands?
Polynesian.
Did you guys get in the water?
Was it cold?
We had wet.
I think I was like one of 12 people ever to swim in this glacial pool that's way below zero.
The one that you guys took the helicopter to?
The helicopter could only fit two of us.
So I had to go to Dave and Buster's.
A win for you.
I won a whoopee cushion.
There's no way you wanted to go.
They were probably like, we have this four-seater helicopter.
You're like, no, take the two.
It was a three-seater, and I was like, okay.
And then they were like, well, we have to bring a camera.
So I also saw a once-in-a-lifetime thing as okay. And then they were like, well, we have to bring a camera. I also saw a
once-in-a-lifetime thing as well.
Havenbusters in Alaska? No, I saw
the world's largest chocolate waterfall.
And I interviewed the man who made it. Whoa!
Wow. And ironically, he was
four foot one. Whoa!
That was really big to him.
What do you do, work in a chocolate factory?
As a matter of fact. Did he talk
like that? I do.
Shit. That's matter of fact. Did he talk like that? I do. Shit.
That's funny as fuck.
So I came out the winner there.
Agent.
Big time.
That's dope as fuck.
How are the glaciers looking?
Unbelievable.
Yeah, still intact?
Yeah.
So total bullshit, climate change?
I have nothing to worry about.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, no, no, it was fine.
I was in there.
Reddith Thunberg's Nepotism.
It's on the ground.
Yep.
I'm going to quote you guys, by the way, in all my internet battles.
It was all good, yeah.
I had a friend who went there.
Solely wore a t-shirt.
Yeah.
What was the air tip there?
I saw that pic of Solely.
It wasn't t-shirt weather.
Yeah, it was like 40s, but we were also just in a glacial pool, and
he had to come out and change into a t-shirt.
No complaints.
You look good in that t-shirt.
That's us mackerel fishing. Wow.
Yeah, that was sick. No, halibut fishing.
You guys look awesome. Did you eat them?
I was sewered. Oh, we caught a cod.
I caught a 25-pound cod.
Wow. We had it for dinner. You ate it?
And while we were making dinner, Fasoli, we were in remote Alaska in a lodge.
And Fasoli's like, hey, do you care if my uncle comes over?
Like, first of all.
What?
Yeah, you just have an uncle that lives in Alaska.
And he's like, yeah.
And then we saw the uncle.
And I come out, and it was a black man.
Fasoli has a big black uncle.
Nice.
A big black Alaskan uncle.
A babu. Look at these big black Alaskan uncle. A baboo.
Look at these guys.
You guys look awesome.
That is a sick photo.
Except my ankle.
The reflection there.
I get rickets.
Your ankle, your whole leg.
Yeah, I look warped.
You need Dr. Dan.
Jordan, are you on the far left?
Oh, yeah.
You've got a sassy hip.
You like Tumnus.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's just out of all the cool shots.
Yeah, you look like when a girl does a bad Photoshop with a bathroom selfie.
Yeah, I think so.
That leg doesn't zoom in on that leg.
I can't explain it.
Zoom in on that leg.
You don't have to.
You will stay in the bathroom.
What is that?
How does that happen?
What the fuck?
How does that happen, folks?
Is that camera trick? I don't know, dude. I know it's the albedo is it hot there what the fuck oh you gotta get that checked
out i don't know where like my foot is and like what's the harry potter spell where the bones get
removed there are two little magnets in your shins i don't know man man. Everything else, yeah, those guys are bad. You look badass, Kyle.
What was it like with Donnie out there?
Donnie, doing content with Donnie, he's on content mode all the time.
What does that mean?
Everything he's doing, he has his little Osmo camera out,
and it's tiring.
I don't know how he does it.
Is he being funny?
Yeah, yeah.
He operates at a different level.
It's insane, yeah.
He's a machine.
Yeah.
That's sick.
I'm trying to go somewhere with Donnie.
I wonder what's going to happen, because Donnie's getting married.
Oh, wait.
Maybe when he becomes the wonton dad.
Not saying it's happening anytime soon, but what happens to this?
To your guy's little thing, your cosinostro.
I don't know what that means.
Doesn't mean our little thing.
Our thing, yeah.
Oh.
Not to interrupt or anything, but Roan, big announcement for you. Yeah, it is. Doesn't mean our little thing. Our thing, yeah. Our little thing. Oh. Yeah.
Not to interrupt or anything, but Roan, big announcement for you. Yeah, it is.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Pipe, pipe, pipe.
Shit.
Facts.
Patrick Beverly podcast.
Oh, I thought you were going to be a dad.
I was like, what the fuck?
I don't know.
You could see how that would be.
Yeah, that's why it was not great.
Yeah, that was bad timing.
Yeah, you did look at me like I had something to eat.
I was like, what the fuck? I've never seen that look on you, Big Cat. Yeah, that was bad timing. Yeah, you did look at me like I had something to eat.
I was like, what the fuck?
I've never seen that look on you, Big Cat.
Well, I was just like, whoa.
But hurt that I hadn't told you.
Yeah, I was very hurt.
I was very, very hurt, yeah.
I would never let you find out that way.
Incredible, incredible stroke of luck, him getting traded to the Lakers.
The day before.
The day before.
It like, God shined down on us from the Jazz to the Lakers.
Can Laker Dan go back this year?
Ooh.
Whoa.
He's going to have to, isn't he?
Might kill LeBron, but I'm down.
It's worth it.
Is he going to be in the office at all for any of these?
LeBron, yeah.
Yeah, LeBron should be in for most.
He said he's coming in to do boy that.
Sass wanted to meet him, so I asked.
Oh, yeah.
Is Sass a little jealous?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. He congratulated me, so you asked. Oh, yeah. Is Sass a little jealous? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
He congratulated me, so you know that he sees me.
Who typically ignore.
Congratulations, man.
When's the first episode?
Oh, that'll be fun.
I got to meet Kuzma.
I think it's going to sometime in October.
I think this is the first episode.
Fuck yes.
It's going to be incredible.
Yeah, you got to meet Kuz, but Kuz is in D.C. now.
He's in Washington now.
I'm pumped I'll listen to you talk basketball.
Yeah. Because I know you got it. I want to. You know ball. I love ball. but Kuz is in D.C. now. He's in Washington now. I'm pumped I'll listen to you talk basketball. Yeah.
Because I know you got it.
I want to.
You know ball.
I love ball.
I don't know if I know ball.
More than NFL.
I see your tweets.
You know ball.
But I really want to.
It's going to be an exercise in keeping my mouth shut and letting people who actually
play basketball talk about basketball.
I think this is going to really hone your already razor sharp shit stirring muscle.
I hope I can stir shit on a macro level.
That would be sweet, to stir shit that makes different shit waves.
Are you going to ask him about Westbrook?
Westbrook?
Yeah.
I'm basically going to take pages out of Skip's book,
just talk shit on the Lakers the whole time.
Because he doesn't like Pat Bev.
I know.
He said that all he does is run around.
He's got you all fooled.
He's got you all fooled.
He just runs around.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm curious as to what, like,
I have to, like, think consciously of what, like,
my voice as in my perspective is going to be on the show.
I think it's know-it-all basketball fans.
That's, like, the worst type of basketball fans. I think you've got to tell him what he's doing wrong and who's good yeah like like
i don't enjoy basketball discourse that like ranks players or just like says people suck and stuff
like that but it's like am i gonna have to do that i don't think so you're just gonna find out what
like you want to know i'm not you align common fan. I'm going to disagree with Nick.
You better have a goat when you show up.
You better have a goat.
You better have a goat.
I'm having a goat because I just saw him going at my goat, Kevin Durant.
Oh, shit.
He's beefing with my goat.
I'm going to have to fuck him.
Pep Evans?
Last week he had a little back and forth with Durant.
Oh, yeah.
Blame KD, yeah.
Blame KD mode.
Shit.
Anybody he hasn't gone back and forth with.
Chris Paul, he went back.
Dame, yeah, he respects Dame.
Yeah, he does respect Dame.
Yeah, you're right, Kyle.
He has a few studio albums under his belt.
Dame does, yeah.
I think he owns his own Toyota dealership.
Yeah, you're one of Dame's biggest guys.
Yeah.
You're a big Dame guy.
You know Mark Wahlberg has a bunch of...
Did you know that, KB?
Mark Wahlberg has a bunch of Chevy dealerships in Ohio.
No.
Yes.
Hell no.
What?
Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet.
Since when?
Have we not done a live show there?
It's called Mark Wahlberg...
Yeah, he's not.
Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet.
I thought it was hiding in plain sight.
What?
Yeah. Last place you'd think to look. We thought it was hiding in plain sight. What? Yeah.
Last place you'd think to look.
We do a live show there?
Yes.
I thought you would know that for sure.
We had him on on Friday and I asked him about it.
Look.
Oh.
Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet in Ohio.
Did you ask him about September 11th, 2001?
Did not.
Didn't he say he was supposed to be on the plane?
Oh, he would have stopped it.
Oh, he would have stopped it.
He would have stopped it. We all agree. have stopped it. He would have stopped it.
We all agree.
You can't ask him that.
You know that as a fact.
That's canon.
Fifth, five car dealerships in Ohio.
Why?
I wonder why.
Dame only has one.
Yeah.
Who?
Dame.
Dame Lord?
Look at this.
It was in Columbus?
Number one used car super center.
Shit.
Well, how old was he when he got his first one?
You would have seen that.
I think this is on the way to the zoo.
But I'm so excited when I'm headed to the zoo, I don't look.
I got tunnel vision, baby.
You got blinders on.
Yeah.
Zoo crew.
Oh, my God.
You and Stephen Che.
I would give it all up.
You got to do a live show from there.
How about this guy? That's a fish. Yeah would give it all up. You got to do a live show from there. How about this guy?
That's Fish.
That's Fish, yeah.
What's his nickname?
He's a new Chicklets editor.
He's Canadian.
Last night we were
eating dinner
when we were doing
Pardon My Take.
He came in and just
kind of smiled at everyone.
Yeah, yeah.
He's very Canadian.
He's Canadian but went to SCAD.
He was off-putting.
I know a lot about fish now.
Go to ShadyRays.com.
Use code YAK for 50% off.
For real?
Pairs of polarized sunglasses.
Oh, what?
Ad copy says it's the only sunglass on the planet
that can make Brandon Walker look cool.
That's true.
Brandon's such a dick.
I was wondering where the prep sheet was.
He didn't pass them.
He just stopped at his spot.
Didn't pass them.
Nick, wipe your nuts on his crown.
I'm wearing a compression short.
I'm saying through the compression short.
I don't want to disrespect the crown.
It's not about the person.
It's the crown itself.
Title.
Keep asking.
No moisture will get through because you're wearing
Shady Ray shorts
which are sunglasses.
Mm-hmm.
I know we just did that one.
Shady Rays are...
It's blowback.
That was bad.
People kind of
start neglecting sunglasses
around this time of year
and the sun gets
no less bright.
It reflects off the snow.
It's brighter.
It's brighter.
And it started snowing today.
Mm-hmm.
It did. The leaves have been falling. Dude, I've been noticing that. I love it. It's brighter. And it started snowing today. Mm-hmm. It did.
The leaves have been falling.
Dude, I've been noticing that.
I love it.
I like it.
It's August.
Love it.
And there's a ground full of fallen leaves.
Brandon, we just finished Roback.
Can you do Shady Rays?
Yeah.
You just didn't pass any of the sheets, Brandon.
Why are you out of breath?
Why are you so out of breath?
So are you just shitting?
Because you just tweeted.
Shady Rays?
I was peeing, and I just tweeted on the way back.
What'd you tweet?
Some dude.
He said he's not, but you're blocked for having the same Twitter name, HungNateLow.
Yeah, I blocked a guy on Twitter on the way back.
Yeah.
Shady Rays.
I almost brought him.
It was an ad copy.
Yeah, no.
Okay, Owen.
The first sentence was about you.
We already read it.
It's making sense.
Right, Owen.
I just got back from peeing, and I'm out of breath. You took a shit. You took a shit. It was a while. We already read it. It's making sense. Right, Owen. I just got back from peeing and I'm out of breath.
You took a shit.
You took a shit.
It was a while.
It was a while.
It was not a while.
You left at 148.
No, I went to the fucking kitchen because Stefan said he had banana bread in there,
but Chris Klemmer was eating the last piece of the banana bread and I didn't get any of
the goddamn banana bread.
I always stop for banana bread.
I had some.
It was great.
It was delicious.
It wasn't even banana bread.
You already had a piece?
Yeah.
You were going back for seconds? I was going to the bathroom. You mad at Klemmer for having his first? He was jerking off. It was great. It was delicious. You already had a piece? Yeah. You were going back for seconds?
I was going to the bathroom.
You mad at Clemmer for having his first?
He was jerking off.
I was going to the bathroom.
I saw Stefan.
I said, Stefan, it was delicious.
He said, I think there's one more piece in the kitchen.
I walked in the kitchen to see Clemmer actually dabbing the sides of his mouth.
Disgusting.
Licking his eyeball.
Eyeball licking good.
Shady Rays has the only sunglasses on the planet that can make Brandon Walker look cool,
so they'll definitely work for you, too.
We need Roback, actually.
Yeah, Roback.
Oh, but we need Roback.
We already did Shady Rays.
Go to Shady Rays right now.
I was wearing them all weekend in Miami.
Shady Rays, best sunglasses in the game.
The best way to describe Roback is the best fit, best feel.
We can't stop wearing Roback, and when it comes to the quality,
these guys do not miss. They've got performance
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So use the code YAK on Roback.com
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20% off polos, quarter zips, and hoodies with the code Yak.
Boom.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Did they let you hear it on Pick Central about that fucking Nebraska pick?
Well, they did, but I knew that was just a bad pick.
It's all right.
So why'd you make it?
Because I'm an idiot.
Because I'm a goddamn idiot.
It's week zero for me, too.
I thought you were the sharpest mind in college football. I'm the zero for me, too. I thought you were the sharpest mind in college football.
I thought you were the king of college football.
I am the best mind in college football.
Well, clearly not.
Dave had Northwestern.
He also had Hawaii.
So, I mean, there's others.
So you both got one wrong.
No, I went one for two.
Are you trying to lean into the knowledge aspect?
Or why don't you just go for you're the most entertaining?
And you don't have to worry about me? Oh, you can't really do that.
Well, I could.
Ben Mintz is far more entertaining.
Because the knowledge thing is just –
Didn't I tell you that shit was going to happen?
I want field passes from you.
Okay, all right.
So let's go –
What shit was going to happen?
So YouTube tonight, the Brandon Walker College Football Show.
Ben Mintz going to be on it?
I said I'm going to ask for retweets tomorrow
and I'm going to ask for some publicity
and Dan's going to turn it into Ben Mintz Hour.
Yeah.
Brandon, how about a viewer goal?
A million views on this video,
we get to pierce your ears.
You have diamond studs for a week.
And they'll heal.
Oh, I'm terrified of that,
but a million views on it.
Yeah, a million.
And you can't use Ben Mintz to boost the views.
Stop doing that.
He sucks.
Fine, you can use him.
Can we just act like he sucks?
Can we tell the fucking truth?
Yeesh.
Just fuck.
He's just used to bother me.
It's going to be hard for you to get Ben Mintz after these things you said.
This breakdown would be a lot more appealing if you had diamond studs.
I'll try to book him for you, though.
It's a 96 PM. if you had diamond studs. I'll try to book them for you, though. It's 9 to 6 p.m.
It doesn't get old at all.
No, it doesn't.
Now, will you be answering callers?
Will you be answering commenters on the live chat?
It'll still be calls.
Callers?
Okay.
What about both?
I'll be able to see the comments.
We have capability to put them on screen.
Is Ben Mintz allowed to call in?
Yep.
I just asked a simple question.
I don't know why you're doing this.
I asked a simple question.
I'm doing it because of your reaction.
I know that, but I'm reacting because you keep doing it.
You can't stop reacting.
The day you stop reacting is the day that I move on to something else.
That's not true.
I didn't react for a while.
It was in there, though.
It was in there.
Deep, pulling it out.
Things have been good for you.
Stop reacting.
You'll just stop doing it?
Yeah.
You got a Mercedes.
You did.
Who are you talking to, Big Cat or Brandon?
There's no Jordans.
Who are you talking to?
You have a Mercedes.
What car does Ben Mintz have?
I don't know.
Exactly.
Jalopy.
Yeah, if it cranked.
If it cranked.
He's actually more environmentally conscious living in the city.
He doesn't have to have a car.
I moved beaches.
I moved from Point Pleasant to Bradley Beach for the last week of this.
Nice.
Did you get out of the first? Point Pleasant? You were that the last week of this. Nice. You were that against Point Pleasant?
You were that against it or did time run?
I had a two-week rental there
and I had to do another week rental for this one,
but I did not like Point Pleasant.
You just have a family of gypsies.
It's been a rough summer, huh?
Yeah.
They have timed beaches.
And Point Pleasant?
Yeah, you can't go on after like 3 o'clock.
What?
Ridiculous.
It's the worst.
What is that? This one, you can go drown. It's fine. I don't care at all like 3 o'clock. What? Ridiculous. It's the worst. What is that?
This one, you can go drown.
It's fine.
It doesn't care at all.
Does your wife have a tan?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Tan lines?
It's been in the sun for a couple weeks.
Wow.
Do you wear like a drawstring backpack to the beach?
Oh, daddy. You better get the best for me. Huh? Do you wear like a drawstring backpack to the beach?
And so when you're here, who's applying the lotion to her back?
I'm actually out starting tomorrow.
You going to Jersey?
For a little bit, yeah.
Hey, Kat, how many days was your bachelor party? Try not to talk about Ben Mintz.
Yeah, no Ben Mintz.
How many days was your bachelor party?
Would you rather us talk about your wife's titties or Ben Mintz?
I was thinking drawstring titties are usurping seatbelt titties.
Really?
Really.
Drawstring backpacks aren't the rage anymore.
I know, but yeah.
Wait, John, what are drawstring?
The strings of a drawstring.
Can I see, could I please see it used in a sentence?
What if they went cross-body with a drawstring
with an Urban Elf?
Oh, the drawstring.
I think it's still too wide.
I think it's still too wide.
Is it cross-body tote?
Or do you mean both straps?
Not a tote.
It's something about the thinness.
It's because it's thin.
But it's also the tension.
It is really pressing.
Can we see some?
Cross-string titties.
Yeah.
I'd like to see that.
I know TJ has safe search off, though.
He's sick.
Horny bastard.
Googling porno.
You think you'd be able to fuck to completion in the shower wearing bowling shoes?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I dare you all to try tonight.
Yeah.
What were you doing this weekend, my boy?
I went bowling Thursday.
What are you going to do?
All the shoes.
I have to fuck tonight.
My wife told me I have to fuck tonight.
Whoa.
On Brandon Walker YouTube day?
Yeah.
That's why.
Yeah. That's why. Yeah.
Poor bastard.
You should think about doing it on the YouTube.
Oh, yeah.
That's what Adam 22 does.
That would work.
Yeah.
So we haven't talked about it.
Your episode was just an hour of college football, and then you fuck your wife.
Yeah, at the end.
You're like, this is what a real man does.
You fuck your wife and a guest.
So Jerry shit himself. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit, yeah. All-time video. Oh, it was the best. Be like, this is what a real man does. You fuck your wife and a guest. So Jerry shit himself.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit, yeah.
All-time video.
Oh, it was the best.
We just play it.
Wait.
The Rock is Shrek?
I don't ask for a lot.
I want you, yeah.
Oh, no, that's Gordon Ramsay.
That's Gordon Ramsay.
I want the tits one that looks like the Tide logo.
That does look...
Yeah.
That's sick.
Oh, shit.
That's metal. Yeah. Oh, my God. Just letting everyone know you, shit. That's metal.
Oh, my God.
Just letting everyone know you're a fan of tits.
But it wouldn't even make sense to have, like, the Tide logo on them.
Oh, no sense at all, but that doesn't matter.
Yeah.
How did that come to conception?
That's so funny.
So funny to have it on a backpack, too, because if the girl sees it, you are back already to her.
So she has to kind of run around your front and tap you and then dump her titties out.
Wait, I am interested in you.
Wait, you're funny?
It's just showing that you're solidarity with women.
Tits.
Big fan.
Just seeing tits as other logos.
That might be my next blog.
I'm doing zero blog 30, though, so June 28th next year,
I will be dropping my blog of logos, but they say tits.
What is zero blog 30?
Not blogging.
30th, 31, yeah.
Nate is so mad.
Nate spoke at the company meeting.
Yeah, he did.
How'd that go?
He actually did very well.
He threw a jab at Brandon right off the get.
I did nothing. I was just sitting there.
It was pretty funny.
I texted him later and said, what was that?
He said, I was just trying to center myself. I needed somebody.
That is actually a very funny response.
He was talking. Nate was talking. He was like, guys, too. Yeah, that is actually a very funny response. He was talking.
Nate was talking, and he's like, and guys, here's what you're going to want to do when you're blogging.
Brandon Walker.
And then just kept going on at this point.
That's nice.
Called me out in front of the whole company.
Got incredible applause.
Raucous laughter.
Yeah.
And he texted me later and said, you were the first person I saw, so I had to say your name.
Mince was mentioned like four times in the meeting.
Did you see when we tried to join the meeting,
Donnie clicked the wrong link in what we saw?
No.
Go to Donnie's Twitter.
We were all sitting around the table ready for this meeting.
It's early in Alaska, and we click on the link,
expecting to see Dave and Erica.
And there was just one guy that also clicked the wrong link.
Oh, no.
I heard that Rico's, someone put a slide up of all the units Rico's on?
It was in the company stats.
Oh, no.
This many million followers, this many.
In the bottom right, it said.
Oh, my God.
Of course.
Oh, man.
Of course.
Really close to the webcam.
Oh, shit.
Rico came to my apartment Thursday.
What?
It's a weird little tidbit I thought I'd throw in.
Wait,
you went to the party,
right?
Yeah.
How was the party?
No real drama.
You went bowling,
Rico came to your apartment
and you went to the party
on Thursday?
I went bowling post-party.
Wow.
You had a day.
Did you go to the party?
Yeah,
Rico came over
with everybody
and then we went,
but it was cool,
yeah.
Nice.
To see,
because Moscow's a hero. I had to go to shore. So Yeah, Rico came over with everybody, and then we went. But it was cool, yeah. Nice. To see, because Moscow's a hero.
I had to go to shore.
So who got drunk?
Who got sloppy?
Clubhouse was in the mix.
Clubhouse, yeah.
Clubhouse.
Clubhouse.
He was temping for the week.
I don't know.
It didn't get that crazy.
It was very, I feel like, corporate.
I haven't been for years past, but it felt different than what I imagined they used to be.
Who's the photo booth company that makes everybody look so goddamn good in those
pictures? There's not a pore on them.
TJ, you had a nice picture.
Good pick. Which one?
Oh!
You know which one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which one?
It's me
and Caitlin Walker.
It's looking ravishing.
Oh, you couldn't find his wife?
Yeah.
No, that happened too.
What happened?
I didn't go to the party.
It was just TJ tweeted out a picture of him and my sister.
So what?
They're co-workers.
Think about it.
Yeah, and also.
They're adults.
TJ.
Intending adults.
Way better than when White Sox Dave hit on your sister.
Way better.
TJ would be best case scenario, to be honest.
Yeah.
Look at that. That's a good couple. That is. TJ would be best case scenario, to be honest. Yeah. Look at that.
That's a good couple.
That is.
They look thrilled.
It's like American Gothic.
Yeah, something about it.
Catches the eye.
Good pick, yeah.
TJ, what's on your shirt?
Carhartt logo.
Is that sweat?
Oh, no.
What?
TJ, did you spill?
It's just a couple of flecks.
No, he was probably talking to Clemmer.
That's more than a...
That's like five flex
the thing about a guy
like me is
I'm undefeated
at spilling on myself
it'll just happen
brutal
fucking klutz
Florentine didn't show up
what
what
did last year
no but he was at
he was doing
Legion of Skanks
I think
oh was he at the stand
yeah
yeah
that makes sense That makes sense.
That makes sense.
Is that where Sass ran off?
What version of Sass did you guys get last week?
Wait, that's his uncle?
Yeah, that's Fasoli's uncle.
That's where we're joking?
That's his babu.
That's his black,
Laskin,
big uncle.
I felt like such a fucking fraud
because I was like so respectful to Fasoli
the entire time he was here.
Yeah.
Why?
Because he was.
Oh, and you were just like, if your uncle wasn't happy,
I was just bullying him the whole trip,
and then his black uncle came, and I was like, yep.
Great guy.
Your nephew's the best.
Your white nephew.
Fasoli's smile always makes me smile,
because he just closes his eyes so tight.
Like three hyphens.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like if he wanted to sign his name in graffiti,
it'd be, yeah, just three lines.
Like, shh, shh, shh.
Holy smile.
Yeah, that'd be fucking dope. Yeah.
Look at that thing.
It looks like Morse code typed out.
He doesn't even know the picture's being taken.
His mouth is more open than his eyes, and his mouth is closed.
What a guy. Oh, I love him. eyes, and his mouth is closed. What a guy.
Oh, I love him.
Oh, no.
I love him.
He's the happiest dude in America.
He is.
He's the best.
He smiles during every emotion makes him smile.
Oh, yeah.
No, he just constantly smiles.
Anger makes him smile.
Oh, I thought he was the weirdest dude ever when I first met him.
I was like, no, he just can't stop smiling.
I like having him around.
Every day is the best day he's ever had.
Right.
What was his uncle's, like, why did his uncle wind up in Alaska?
I don't know.
He played for the Jets.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
He was also in the NFL.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like an O-line coach at Diamond High School in Anchorage.
Interesting.
That's crazy that they could afford to pay an O-line coach at Diamond High School in Anchorage. Interesting. That's crazy that they could afford to pay an O-line coach.
No, I think he was a head coach.
Oh.
No disrespect.
Oh, word, word, word.
Untaken.
What a fucking legend for Soley.
Yeah, O-line coach has to be a labor of love.
You see that O-line TikTok of all the O-linemans?
I think those were American Samoans. They did look Samoans. You see that O-line TikTok of all the O-linemans?
I think those were American Samoans.
They did look Samoans.
How do they get recruited?
There can only be so many organized teams in that small island.
What do you mean?
They go to the NFL, maybe not often, but periodically.
Disproportionately, for sure.
There's got to be some USC-sponsored camps or something. Get them into camps quicker.
Trajan Langdon. Ray Malaluga.
Should we make a sorority video for the Yak?
What the hell is this?
Don't copy it.
These might be the same dudes.
He's all Lyman, just been dancing on TikTok,
doing kick steps.
The one where they were in the two lines crossing each other.
It looked fucking sweet as hell. It looked way too old to be on a school's team.
You guys been seeing all these sorority videos?
We got to make one.
They have beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
What do they call it?
It's kind of cool, though.
Yeah, they are.
It's like the San Diego State one. everyone was like, this is the worst.
And I'm like, I watched it 20 times.
Yeah.
Good moves.
Good dancing.
Breaking it down.
Or people are like, if you're wondering what your $30,000 on tuition is going to, like,
dads, this is what's actually happening.
A good time?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like learning incredible dance moves.
They're like, imagine paying for your friends.
I mean, I've paid for much worse than that. Yeah. That's like one of the things I should pay for. Yeah,, imagine paying for your friends. I've paid for much worse things.
Yeah.
That's like one of the things
I should pay for.
Yeah, you should pay
for your friends.
It's like the most valuable thing
you can have.
Great ROI.
Of course,
I'm going to pay for everything else.
Yeah.
Yeah, if I could, I would.
Yes.
Actually.
Cool ass people
just dancing around.
Yeah, like I'm guaranteed
to have a giant friend group
that's fun if I just like
pay money.
Sisters for life?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Done.
Yeah, those videos though.
I've always wondered though
the choreographing
that big of a group.
Well, it's very clear
like you can always tell
when you watch one like
Four Leaders?
Yeah, there's a lot of girls
that just don't know how to dance. It's like just stand back there and just like cheer really loud
and there's moves you know they're familiar with the moves how many takes you think they generally
do probably upwards of 12 yeah sometimes it does make me laugh whenever they put like
because the middle girl always should be yeah the middle girl yep she be the best dancer. Yep, she's the best. Yeah, but sometimes there'll be a middle girl that's not the best dancer,
and you'll be like, oh, God, she's probably the president of the sorority or something.
You think the girl looks like that's filming.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Cool.
Cast a big old shadow.
Oh.
Oh.
No.
No.
Yeah.
Oh.
Okay.
All right. Damn. Those stuff Oh. Okay. All right.
Damn.
Break it down, ladies.
You're wearing Yak shirts?
I was watching a live fantasy draft on YouTube,
and the guy was wearing a Yak case race shirt.
Whoa.
Yeah.
You were watching a live?
You're doing what?
I was watching.
What?
What the fuck were you watching?
You were watching gay porn. Say that again. It was my boy Ron Stewart. I DM'd him. I was like What the fuck were you watching You were watching gay porn
Say that again
My boy Ron Stewart
I DM'd him
I was like nice shirt
Shout out Ron
Just guys drafting a league
That you're not in
I was seeing
Just yeah
The flow the draft goes
Yeah
Can you pull your pants down
It looks like it's not
A Nazi symbol right now
Pull your pants down
Pull it down to where
It looks like a Nazi symbol Can you pull your pants down. Pull it down to where it looks like a Nazi symbol.
Can you pull your pants down?
Thank you very much.
Appreciate that.
Beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
There it is.
Did you notice that?
What cornerback was it?
Marlon Humphrey.
Marlon Humphrey.
We were at a live show, and it didn't matter.
He said, yo, what's that?
He's an ally, though, for sure.
Or actually, no. No, he's an ally, though, for sure. Or actually, no.
No, he's an ally, yeah.
The Nazis?
Marlon Humphrey's actually Jewish.
Yeah, he was looking out.
He was checking you.
Who was the one that didn't like us?
Scandrick.
Scandrick.
Scandrick didn't like us.
He's a known dickhead.
But he has a podcast with Marlon, right?
I think so.
Yeah, he did not like us at all. But he's a podcast with Marlon, right? I think so. Yeah, he did not like us at all.
But he's a born dickhead.
He was born to be a dickhead.
It's his thing.
Being a dick?
Some people are just born to dickhead.
What should we do with the slush fund cash?
It's kind of building up.
Also, what kind of merchandise should we get that's similar to a coin?
Belt buckle.
Because they said that the-
A big, giant belt buckle.
That's why we needed you in the fucking meeting, bro.
I knew you were about to come with some fucking heat off the rip.
Fucking yak belt buckle.
He didn't even stretch, dude.
He just jumped.
It's like a coin.
Pretty easy.
With a big, sweet-ass belt buckle.
That would be so sick.
But if it's a yak head and it looks like
a nice Texans belt buckle.
Maybe a 10 gallon hat
to go with it.
Yep.
See?
Spurs.
Charge them.
Yeah.
Guns.
Yak guns.
Are you messaging Pilar
right now, Owen?
No, I was asking Nick.
You ever have one of these?
A lot.
I had a lot of studded belt buckles.
I wanted one so bad.
A BB Simon?
What kind of studded belt are we talking?
That was from Hot Topic.
They're all pointy.
We all got to get B.B. Simon belts with the slush funds.
What are those?
They're just like sweet-ass, over-the-top belts.
Can you pull up a B.B. Simon belt, TJ?
What is something just super inconvenient we could get?
I have an idea.
Yak surfboards?
That would be cool.
Sombreros?
How much does a sculptor cost?
Oh, look at those.
B.B. Simon, dude.
If we all just got B.B. Simons, they're like $250.
What if part of the slush fund is we all get B.B. Simons
and fucking look sweet in our B.B. Simons?
Wow, we would have made any outfit, dude. It really does. at B.B. Simons and fucking look sweet in our B.B. Simons. Wow. That could elevate
any outfit, dude.
It really does.
It doesn't matter
what you're wearing.
You can really just wear
a white t-shirt
or a three-piece suit.
It doesn't matter.
Pops.
I would get that.
I think like
if we get like
a latex artist in here
and we get all really
super realistic
Brandon Walker masks.
That'd be cool.
Yeah.
And we do a purge.
Yeah. Walk around the streets. We don And we do a purge. Yeah.
Walk around the streets.
We don't go to his house and do anything.
And then you're surprisingly excellent
and everyone freaks out.
Yeah.
That singer, yeah.
Jewel did that.
Yeah, she did.
Go to Bon Jovi.
Just gave her a bigger nose.
She killed her songs and everyone was like,
whoa, that girl with the big nose
Who's mildly attractive still
Was very good at singing
And that was
And it was a good video
Yeah
The Bon Jovi one wasn't good
He was like working
At the karaoke place
And he like interrupted the table
And they were bothered
It would piss me off
Yeah
Totally
He doesn't know how to
Pull it off Bon Jovi
Mm-mm
Big Head you said something
Inconvenient for this Lush Fun
Yeah
What about this
whoa yes that is convenient that is awesome just destroy a bunch of stuff in here if we
shot it inside yes catch pests and they're 900 each whoa all right let's get 10 of them how do
you reload it's not a one-time thing, is it? I think you pack it into a cartridge, and then it loads.
Drone catcher.
Wait, a drone?
You should do a battle royale on a football field or something.
Wow.
It looks like a flashlight.
Oh, my God.
We need these.
Uh-huh.
I've never needed anything more in my life.
Ultranet?
Oh, look.
It looks like a flashlight.
Oh, fuck.
We've got to get one of these.
On the wheel, it should be catch a stranger
It's the best case scenario
You just have a net on you
You're not trapped whatsoever
You catch someone
Or a drone
If someone's trying to drone
If someone's trying to hover by you
We should see who we
How many delivery guys we can catch
Oh yeah
Stand out in the street
In the bike lane Just fucking net catch them.
Gotcha.
I'd be so pissed.
I got a 150-pounder today.
Look at him.
He's all tangled.
I think they had to wrap it around him.
No, there's no way.
You're a hater.
You just got to stand perfectly still.
I bet you if you're moving, it'll get you more tangled.
Spoiler for nope.
Yeah, we need that.
Buy it.
Yep.
Buy at least one.
No, we got to get more than one.
Fuck.
Do this against Stephen Che.
This one's a little bit longer.
Does it pack more of a punch?
Whoa.
Oh, shotgun.
We should get a hoverboard, too, like one of the ones that...
Wait, is that guy supposed to be like a...
He wasn't very good.
Rapist or a criminal?
His dick's not hot.
Yeah, they always stop two to three feet away.
Right.
Should I hold on?
Let me get my net.
Shout out to the Bucks for not drafting me.
Oh, and she's gone.
Look at that.
He's gone. You could rape through that
Oh double
Holy fuck
Oh my
Help me
He's got a cobweb on him
Oh and here
Oh my god
Does that come with it?
I want those things
Yeah I want the guys too
I want two of those guys
Those guys in those outfits
Yeah Oh shit Wait she's attached Reel her in those things. Yeah, I want the guys too. I want two of those guys. Those guys in those outfits. Yeah.
Oh, shit. Wait, she's attached.
Reel her in. Oh, that's how you catch
someone.
You reverse their
hard thing that's going to happen.
What? It would be awesome
if like... Oh, yeah, because he can't get out. He's all
tangled around it. We all have one and we have
to hunt somebody in Central Park.
Look at this. Watch. Shouldn't he have
tripped?
Oh, I see.
Oh!
That's a cop having that.
Oh, man.
That guy is so tangled.
I want one of those, too.
I want the guys attached to him
What is it
Is one of them a bellhop
Just grabbers
I think it's what the cops in Japan look like
The guys were there
Why weren't they already helping
Before she had to pull the net out
I don't know
I think
Sold
Because I think in Japan
Just having a net on you is illegal
Yeah
Oh yeah
Oh Robin Robin Pig.
Oh, that was wrong.
Rest in peace, Pig.
Oh, gee.
Fuck.
I thought that was me.
Oh, did he do it to Drama?
Did he do it to Big Cat?
Did he do it to Big Cat?
Oh, what's up?
You dumping now?
So fantastic.
Good.
That didn't really affect him.
Where you going?
He really couldn't.
He's fine.
Where you going?
Where you going?
Oh, if he throws him in the pool. If he throws him in the pool. Where you going? He really could have. He's fine. Where are you going? Oh, if he throws him
in the pool.
If he throws him
in the pool.
Where are you going?
You're going to take
a dump on somebody?
How dare you dump
on my house?
I need you to dump me.
I need you to freaking dump me.
Damn, I don't think
this show was good.
It wasn't.
It was a great show.
Black Eyed was from Mississippi.
Is he dead?
Yeah.
Him and Setty Boo.
I know. The rap sumo very sad yeah it was mississippi state
have saturday shit emphis oh mine 16 point favorites oh chilling cruising that the team
you cheated against last time oh that's the team where the ref fucked us cheated against you yeah
where we touched the ball down and then yeah? Yeah, that was bullshit. When's Mississippi State going to honor you?
Return the first kick or something?
I don't know.
I've been talking to them.
They sent my season tickets today, even though I can't go to any games.
I guess I'll just give them away.
You should do a giveaway on the new Brandon Walker show on YouTube.
Can I have one of them?
At 6 p.m.
Can I get one of your tickets?
Yeah.
You going to go?
You never wear the hat I got you.
I know.
I'm not going to go either.
But I just want to have it so to make sure nobody else gets it. Would you wear the hat, though, once? Yeah, if gonna go? You never wear the hat I got you. I know. I'm not gonna go either. But I just want to have it so to make
sure nobody else gets it. Would you wear the hat though once?
Yeah. If you give me the tickets.
You're gonna wear the hat to not go?
Who's their toughest opponent at home?
Bama? Georgia. Georgia?
Not Bama? They're on the road. Oh.
You got Vandy? Uh, we don't
play Vandy. We play... Vandy's looking
good. I know, man. Auburn A&M.
Auburn A&M, Auburn A&M,
Georgia, and...
Did they win?
They killed Hawaii.
63-10.
Fuck, are they back?
Yeah.
Good.
They were done forever.
Oh, they got the new logo
and everything.
Their new logo.
Yeah, dude, he was...
Just changed the V
a little bit.
Look at those arms.
Wow.
If he was going
to Planet Fitness,
Alaskan Planet Fitness
every morning.
Every day, yeah.
What?
No one touches weights.
Why?
What are they all doing?
Body weight?
I don't know.
Everyone was on like cardio machines.
Damn.
Look, diesel, my man.
I finally committed to eating.
Yeah?
Throughout the day, getting a certain amount of calories and protein in it.
It's off the booze.
Did he drink it all up in...
Yeah, but...
I didn't see you do it.
In the 48th contingent.
In this weekend.
You're Alaska sober.
There it is.
Oh, bad.
That's ass.
Yeah, no, it's terrible.
It's Virginia.
It's just...
What's the richest family in America?
It's like an abacus
Good definitely
Or a compass now
Anderson Cooper of Vanderbilt
Anderson Cooper
Yeah
And B
Married Gloria Vanderbilt Jr.
Or no his dad did
I was gonna say
He sure did
He did not
He did
Oh brother
He definitely did
Me and Cooper
Cooper's He has slave ancestors Oh Does he? He did not. He did. Oh, brother. He definitely did. Me and Cooper have...
Cooper's...
He has slave ancestors.
Oh.
Does he?
Mm-hmm.
Uh-oh.
His side of the family is from Alabama.
Slavers?
Or he was a slave?
Has he apologized?
He has.
They did a segment on PBS where he was like,
yeah, he was murdered by a slave.
And he was like, yeah, fuck yeah, he deserved it.
Damn.
So you can't really shame him.
No.
I love Anderson Cooper.
I do too.
He was in the Manti-Teo talk.
You love him?
We have a lot of similarities.
No, was he in Manti-Teo talk?
He has a weird relationship with food as well.
Some days you'll only eat the same thing for a month straight.
Some days.
Yeah.
He was in the worst guy on the internet.
Doc.
Did you guys watch that?
Oh, yeah.
Most hated.
Most hated man on the internet.
Doc.
I've just been watching live fantasy drafts with Rob.
Yeah.
Crushing it.
The name of the Netflix documentary series now is The Untold Stories.
Yeah.
Yeah, they kind of cucked you guys.
Yeah.
We were the first.
You guys should have had Manta.
You should have Manta's dead girlfriend on.
We have a meeting tomorrow about getting guests.
Nice.
Really?
Is that done by Hank?
No.
Pregnant Kelly. Pregnant Kelly Pregnant Kelly got it
So how are you going to make sure you win
That interaction tomorrow
How are you going to butter him up
I don't know what I want
As far as guests go
Yeah what guests would you guys want
Yeah I don't know
Yeah we just want them for like 10 minutes
Are you going to make fun of them Yeah that might be tough to get repeat guests I'll say no when she walks by. Yeah, I don't know. Just for like 10 minutes at a time? Yeah, we just want them for like 10 minutes.
Are you going to make fun of them?
Yeah.
Yeah, that might be tough to get repeat guests.
I know.
I'm not worried about that.
Yeah, that's true. It's your job.
Yeah.
Just make sure that they're willing to get made fun of.
Exactly.
Can you just drop your guests off at Anus every time they leave?
I might.
Say, all right, we got one last thing.
Here, yeah.
In the media car wash, yeah, you're on due party.
You had a pleasant experience here.
Let's make sure that doesn't happen. Take a left at this door right here. If you do have guests you don't want back. Yeah. In the media car wash. Yeah, you're on new partner. You had a pleasant experience here. Let's make sure that doesn't happen.
Take a left at this door right there.
If you do have guests you don't want back.
Yeah.
You guys have Dan Marino and Dan Scott.
Guests are the ads of people.
That sucks that that's the two that are the worst.
Yeah, Dak.
Yeah, those are like your two fandoms.
Two favorite guys.
It is, yeah.
They suck.
I know Marino did.
Dak, though?
Well, he forgot to hang up.'s fine he told his publicist that the interview went terribly and then we left it in that's funny
yeah that's on him yeah that's him brandon uh would if dan marino came out with like a
a sandwich tray that was just full of the biggest lines of cocaine you've ever seen would you
what a question that's a good question yeah i biggest lines of cocaine you've ever seen would you wow
what a question that's a good question yeah i think i would you wouldn't have to worry you
know it'd be good shit yeah you're in miami on a fucking uh and a mansion out on biscayne with a
fucking three-story windows that are just the cocaine dan marino could have gotten in 1987
oh my god have gotten yeah could have or just yeah got yeah have gotten? Yeah, could have. Or just, yeah, got.
Yeah.
Peruvian pink. Yeah.
He was one of the richest people in Miami.
Yes.
He was Miami.
The most famous person, yeah.
Probably had a bunch of teal suit coats.
Dwayne Wade probably didn't get any good cocaine.
He could.
He could have gotten it, but he chose not to.
He was more of a wine man.
Miami's hot in August, if anyone was wondering.
Oh, I forgot that's where you went.
It sucks in August.
How many days was your bachelor party?
I was there for two days, two days, three days, two nights.
Did everybody have their own?
Do you have that many close friends, or do people just think it's cool to be friends with Big Cat and bring him to a bachelor party?
No, this is my last close friend.
Okay.
I haven't gone on one in a while.
That could be your last bachelor party.
You guys didn't like that question?
I think it is.
Do your friends like you for you?
No, I was asking essentially if this was a close friend.
It was a close friend.
And it was the last one.
I've said on the rundown
I will not
acknowledge divorces and second marriages.
Nobody does bachelor parties for a second marriage.
I think they do low-key ones.
Okay.
Maybe.
A golf outing?
Yeah.
That's my speed now.
What was your tank looking like by Sunday?
Very low.
Yeah.
Very low.
You get hung over?
Oh, my God.
I was a mess.
How was the trip back?
We went to 11.
That place is, I don't know if you guys have ever been.
Rowan, you've been, right?
I went, and that's where I, like, we weren't wearing pants and the right shoes,
and a guy, like, came out of the shadows and was like,
come here, I got some pants for you,
and, like, brought us to the back of his trunk.
He was selling size 34 pants out of his trunk.
It's a club with
like 180 of the hottest strippers in the world and they just walk around and like hang out and
then like hey you want to like go to the private room and then like other even just as hot women
coming around asking if you want a massage it's crazy but, but it's a club. That's very, very famous.
It's a wild scene.
Is it fun?
It was fun.
Okay.
It was very fun.
You know who actually was right in front of me?
Jeremy Spund.
No way.
Spund.
Spund was there, yeah.
Fucking soaking it up.
That's dope.
Yeah.
You've got to be throwing money around in a place like that, though.
Yeah, you do.
It's fun to throw around money.
Sneaky, the biggest socialite at the company.
Yeah.
Well, he's not at the company.
From what I've heard, yes.
Is he not?
No, he's not at the company.
What?
Oh, and you didn't know this?
He hasn't been at the company for a while.
I didn't know that either.
Oh.
Gapyear?
Rumspringer?
I did that.
I emailed some woman for paperwork the other day and i asked danielle i
was like why hasn't this person got back to me she's like well she hasn't worked here since
january whoops oh oops a daisy what oh shit okay i went to a club in la with dave i think it was
one oak or one of those. Yeah. Super intimidating.
Like you said, everybody was just supermodels and in like pumps and club dresses.
It's a weird feel.
Clubs are very intimidating.
Yeah.
Because it's like.
Oh, can we rewind?
You did what?
When?
I went to a club with Dave.
In LA?
Super Bowl?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, it was like a sportsbook thing.
Oh, yeah.
I was with you. Yeah. You didn't go to the club, though. I went to the beginning of it. You went to the rooftop. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, it was like a sports book thing. Oh, yeah. I was with you.
Yeah.
You didn't go to the club, though.
I went to the beginning of it.
You went to the rooftop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I stayed at the club for like 10 minutes.
That's right.
But I wanted to be able to tell this story like six or seven months later.
Yeah.
Here we are.
Yeah, look at that.
Crushed it.
It's a desired effect.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
I hope.
No, clubs are weird.
How many other stories you got ruminating there for a couple of months?
Literally none.
I'll try.
He hot boxes them. Yeah. How many other stories you got ruminating there for a couple of months? Literally none. Fix them up. I'll try.
He hot boxes them.
Yeah.
What's your guys' ideal night, though?
Like a dive bar or just... Dive bar.
Not a dive bar.
I like sports bars, I think.
I'm a dive bar guy.
Free popcorn.
That's a dive bar.
Yes.
That's just what I like too.
Like a punch bowl social.
Bob's Furniture gives out free popcorn as well.
Popcorn usually is a dive bar.
Is that a dive bar?
I thought it was for peanuts.
Sports Bar doesn't really...
Yeah, Sports Bar has gotten a new meeting.
It's like full B-dubs everywhere.
I like that.
I like that too. I like B-dubs. Yeah, right. I like that. I like that, too.
I like B-dubs.
That's what I was thinking of.
Favorite environment.
Objectively great place to go.
What if it closes at 10?
That's not a night out.
Can there be too many TVs at a sports bar?
I love it.
It's a pretty sensory overload.
I like the stimulus.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it's also nice.
Everyone watching the game on the same one or two TVs.
Yeah, on a dive board.
There's a little camaraderie to that.
A little jukebox. Maybe a shuffleboard. There's a little camaraderie to that. Old jukebox.
Maybe a shuffleboard.
You guys want to bowl after this?
Today? I'm going to Maresh's.
He has a bowling alley in his building.
The amenities are crazy.
Let's not
hype him up that much.
Is it mini bowling? Is it his building?
Yeah, I think so.
He has a bowling alley?
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
Some jealousy.
He doesn't like my ranch.
This is a problem.
What do you have in your building, KB?
I'm sure you have something cool.
No.
Do you even have a treadmill?
I do have a roof.
Yeah?
I just realized.
I think that's one of the requirements for a building.
I can access it.
Just a hollow access.
KB used to live for a building. I can access it. It's just a hollow access. Maybe you used to live in a tube.
What's the nearest business to your...
It's a CVS and I used a $100 bill and I never thought this would ever happen to me.
It failed the counterfeit test.
What?
Did you take it off my desk?
No, it was mine.
Did you steal from me? Well, because I have counterfeit $100 bills on my desk. You take it off my desk? No, it was mine. Did you steal from me?
Well, because I have counterfeit $100 bills on my desk.
You got it from the ATM?
It gaslit me into thinking, oh, fuck, this is a fake.
Because it did feel a little weird and had the new blue stripe on it.
Right.
So what happened?
Did you get arrested?
No, I just left and used it at another CVS on the self-checkout.
Nice.
Yeah, because it had the marker line.
I wish I would have done that at the same CVS.
That would have been more of a power move.
That would have been great if you just turned it around.
It wouldn't have cared.
They didn't give a shit.
So what did they say?
They put it through that scanner thing,
and it kept failing.
Huh.
And the manager came, failed.
Like, yeah, no.
Why do you have hungies?
What are you doing with all the hungies?
ATM.
Oh, yeah? Huh. I do you have hungies? What are you doing with all the hungies? Oh, yeah?
This didn't really answer it.
No.
You need $100 to go to CVS.
The thing on your lip did go down, though.
Big time.
It's dormant.
It's winter.
For your lip.
Ron, you didn't kiss a coin holder on Friday
Oh
Yeah
We got a problem
They didn't follow the rules
They waited outside the building
Yeah isn't that like the number one rule
I thought we were allowed
They were allowed to do that
I don't think you can
No what happened
Somebody came out for you
I think early on
All of us
Yeah they had a picture
Don't be creepy.
Just follow us from afar until we get to it.
It was females.
A group of females.
I thought it was going to only be males that
had coins. So that's what got you thrown off?
We never said that.
There was a rule that if we do it in front of
or at company events, we talked about that.
There's not a rule against females
buying the coin. What happened?
She was like, I actually have a coin.
I was like, well, we're right outside the office.
Citing the rule.
Well, they made it seem like you just out-refused
because you didn't want to kiss them.
Who made the...
Ladies.
Kate let them in here after. That was nice.
They got a full office. They just sat right here.
That was interesting. I think Lenny banked some episodes with them. Yeah, that was nice. They got a full office. It just sat right here. Mm-hmm. That was interesting.
Then Glennie banked
some episodes with them.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah.
Angels?
Yep.
That was interesting.
I don't know.
What's your guys ruling?
I don't think you can
wait outside of the building.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
We only have one entrance.
Bombarding outside the building
is not allowed.
No bombarding.
No.
We've had nothing
but sticky situations with the coin.
I have yet to see one in the wild.
I don't think there could be like a smooth transaction.
The one at Pop Punk was a lot.
What was that one?
He went up to everybody with a coin.
Did y'all kiss him?
No, he didn't want to kiss him.
No, he was adamant.
It's an event.
Yeah.
It's a company event.
That is a company event.
With football things going on, though, and us going to games, it's going to happen.
Like, are you going to Wisconsin at all this year?
No, I don't think so.
I'm going to that Mississippi State game, though.
Yeah, yeah, you have season tickets.
He'll be there.
And Sass is always at 351 West 48th.
Yeah, he is.
Oh, what's going on with the mice?
I found a ton of poop this morning, and I looked it up.
It's mouse poop, not rat poop. Good. So you just got more of them. Yeah and I looked it up it's mouse poop not rat poop
good
so you just got more of them
yeah they're loading up but
oh no
I don't know
you just get a cat
you just buy one
yeah
go to the
I will I guess
like how do you do that
just go get a cat
how much are cats
30 bucks
yeah
really
30 bucks yeah
how much are dogs
thousands hundreds some are free though let's talk about that How much are cats? 30 bucks. Yeah. Really? 30 bucks, yeah. How much are dogs? Thousands?
Hundreds.
Some are free, though.
If he's got all the counterfeit money, you can go get a cat.
That's true.
Yeah, we both utilize a system like this.
Mine's a little more sophisticated. I lay down a felt blanket as a base layer, and then I do the sneakers and rat traps.
I would dip into the Slush Fund for you guys to get a cat.
What door?
What door is that? You guys can name it. Yeah, guys to get a cat. What door? What door is that?
You guys can name it.
Yeah, let's get a cat.
Let's get a yak cat.
I'm not trying to hate, but those shoes aren't stopping those mice at all. No, at all.
Not even a little bit.
At all.
You're enticing them.
It's like a ninja house for them.
Yeah.
Yak cat.
Yeah, they love Sass's room.
They don't get into mine, but he said they just come in and sort of say hi.
Well, I mean.
His is covered in.
Well, are you also like, no way Sass is saying that he has the worst mouse problem of a house that has mouse problems?
Again, true, yeah.
He was convinced he had monkey pox this weekend.
Of course.
Oh, I forgot Sass has been having gay sex.
It's going to sound like hyperbole.
It's not.
I told him 99.1% they found it was from male-on-male sex,
and he's like, that makes it all the more embarrassing for when I'm the.9.
That's true.
He's like, all right.
He's got a point.
Wait, is he sick right now?
Yeah, he went home to get tested for monkeypox.
Oh, my God.
No, he did get tested, but he's home to see his family.
I really – I mean, it would be funny if he had monkeypox.
Oh, it would be hilarious.
Fantastic.
It would be the best thing that's ever happened to this show.
No, Sass getting a disease that kills him that we don't take seriously would be hilarious.
Boy Who Cried Wolf.
Right, objectively, he'd be like, oh, I'm not feeling well.
I'm getting dizzy all the time.
I think I have a tumor.
And we're like, no.
And his brain explodes.
Yeah, we're ignoring visible lesions.
Yeah, right. Because he's complaining about it. He's just bleeding out of his eyes. Yeah. We're ignoring visible lesions. Yeah, right.
Because he's complaining about his...
He's just bleeding out of his eyes.
Yeah.
We're just like, dude, it's fine.
You're being a pussy about it.
This is the most painful thing ever.
Shut up, dude.
You're hardly oozing.
It is funny, though, that he's convinced himself
that the mice only go to his room.
Having that cast made me want to get a little Munchausen's.
Yeah. Just like being sick has its perks. that the mice only go to his room. Having that cast made me want to get a little Munchausen's.
Yeah.
Just like being sick has its perks.
I want a facial scar very badly.
Over the eyebrow. You could do that.
I think that's, yeah, I would love to like, yeah.
One that starts above the eye and finishes under that same eye is incredible.
Scar.
I could knife you up.
Yeah.
I'd let you.
No. No, because I'd probably get one of those ugly scars that was like all pink. I-hmm. I could knife you up. Yeah. I'd let you. No.
No, because I'd probably get one of those ugly scars that was like all pink.
I'm too.
Yeah, that's true.
You don't want to get a pale.
You got to get a cleft lip scar.
Yeah.
Like Joaquin.
Like Joaquin Balor.
Yeah, Joaquin Phoenix.
Cleft lip, but never had the cleft lip.
Cousin Matt's got a cleft lip.
Shout out to Matt.
Shout out Matt.
Shout out Matt with the cleft lip.
Yo, do you think he'd come in?
Show it?
Probably not. Yeah, probably not. No, I'll get him in, cleft lip. Yo, do you think he'd come in? Show it? Probably not.
Yeah, probably not.
No, I'll get him in, actually, probably.
Yeah, we can get him in.
I wonder where Dr. Dan is.
We should do a family day.
We have to bring in a distant relative.
Fusoli's uncle.
Fusoli's uncle, yeah.
That's going to be tough.
That is going to be sweet.
When's the 12-hour episode?
Fuck you. We have to figure that out. Wenzler, Bernard, Dan. We've got to figure that out. That is going to be sweet When's the 12 hour episode? You
We have to figure that out
When's Laura Bernardine?
We have to figure that out
We also have to do
Data Day coming up
Dan you're getting a tattoo
On the 12 hour stream
I'm going to think about it
Yeah
What else?
We also have final ritz
No
Are we
I'll do it
But people really don't like it
Can you just do it
On your like Instagram story?
Yeah I'll just fucking do it
Just don't do it
Yeah
What's final Ritz?
It's gonna be everyone have to Ritz for me.
Oh, fuck. Yeah.
We canceled it. We are dressing up
for that today. In a tortilla.
Are we dressing up for that today?
Let's see why we wouldn't. Are we definitely
doing suits? What if we themed it like
a Viking theme or like sombreros?
That's up to y'all. What if we
do a broad theme where you can open up to interpretation?
Broad?
I like that.
Conductor.
Some person's leading an orchestra.
Somebody's driving a train.
Somebody's a lightning rod.
We all have to dress up like different people named Al.
Yeah.
They each be a different Al, and you have to guess which Al it is.
I like that.
Yeah.
Pacino, Al Wills. We also should just dress up and not tell Steven that we're dressed up. I like that. Yeah. Pacino, Al Wars.
We also should just dress up and not tell him,
Steven, that we're dressed up.
He won't realize it.
He's the king of data day.
Or different Steves, maybe.
Oh, different Steves.
Yeah, we should do different Steves.
Room full of Steves.
Steve?
Shout out to Steve.
He had a great move on the show last night,
surviving barstool.
Yeah, he's a mental assassin.
I usually think he's a big idiot, um last night yeah that was good no he's he's set up perfectly
in this show if you haven't seen it surviving barstool i think episode two is tonight yeah
it's going on every day first yeah really good i need to if you want to see steven he's talking
so cocky he's talking so cocky but he has a right to be cocky because Steven, with people who don't know Steven, he can dominate.
It's when you know him and we know all his thoughts before he even thinks them.
That's when he...
Steve's smart presenting.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't think he's a well-rounded intellect.
The fucking glasses.
Yeah.
He's mathematically presenting.
Shout out to...
Not a great driver, but... Shout out to Not a great driver
But
Shout out to who
Steve Jobs
Steve's daughter
Is very hot
Really
Oh
He called her Eve
I think
Hot shout out
I think
No I
Fuck is it
His daughter
Or something
I mean if her last name is
Jobs. And her first name is Eve.
She's not.
That's Eve Jobs.
Oh, she is very attractive.
Wow, Eve Jobs.
Funny name.
That is a very funny name. In a vacuum, no.
Look at that. Is that
Wicker?
That's for sure.
She must be paid dude
She must have
I'm a Eve Jobs fan
My god
I like the name
She gets no like
Shine for like
Being a hot celebrity
Daughter
Celebrity daughter
Yeah
Fucking shits
Who's him
You think she's got a big brain
She's probably smart yeah
Very smart
You think that Really rich people Can be funny She's probably smart, yeah. Very smart.
Do you think that really rich people can be funny?
Like if you're born really rich?
No.
What about those dudes who are SNL writers?
Whose dads are SNL writers?
Those guys are very funny.
But I don't know if they were that rich rich.
I think Julia Louis-Dreyfus was a billionaire growing up.
Yeah, no, she is.
She's part of French aristocracy.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
No way.
She got a shitload of money.
Dreyfus.
That sounds... Is it German?
What happened around 1944, Dreyfus's?
Yeah. Hmm. How'd you get that wealth
right from the Reich to 30 rock
did Richard Dreyfus get cancelled
for what
for something
I don't think so
I think it was Bill Murray for what about Bob
someone was like he was
he was mean to everyone
Bill Murray was he was mean to everyone. Okay. Bill Murray was?
Yeah. He wasn't canceled.
He tried to cancel Bill Murray. They're like yeah remember
that time he did what about Bob? He was just mean
to people. It's like what?
That's what we're doing?
People loved him right
around when Bacon was. Oh
he did. He canceled himself?
Oh no.
Writer Jessica Tate.
Exposed himself to her.
He says he behaved inappropriately, and then he denies it.
Not a great picture of all rich.
I just pulled out his pants.
What did he do?
Pulled out his penis.
He whipped it out.
Pulled out his pants.
Draught me close.
It's kind of painful.
Pulled out his what?
I did flirt with her.
I remember trying to kiss Jessica.
Oh, so yeah.
I don't understand how you...
I thought it was a consensual seduction ritual.
Oh, that's a...
Oh.
Praise.
Go back up to his pic.
Helicopter.
People look like that in the future.
Like, I can't picture, like, someone now, like, a younger man, like, ever being that.
Well, I think...
Who is going to look like that?
I will.
Amongst our office, who will look like that?
I will, absolutely.
Well, Jaws' Richard Dreyfuss kind of looked like me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Brandon is going to age poorly.
I already am.
I'm going to age very poorly.
I don't think so.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
You have the luxury of good face.
Yeah.
That's big. Good face is a good luxury. Brandon, no. Yeah. You have the luxury of good face. Yeah. That's big.
Good face.
That's a good luxury.
Brandon, no.
I just don't know.
I want to drag him into this.
Ben Mintz is going to age great.
I don't get why.
Ben Mintz is going to be hilarious.
I want Ben Mintz to hit a growth spurt.
He's coming taller than Brandon.
He's just going to fill out.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
If he fills out.
Whoa.
This is freaky.
That is freaky.
Fake shit.
I found his eyes.
His eyes.
I'm not seeing it.
Ooh.
That's creepy.
You are here.
The in-between is like a handsome man.
Silver Fox.
Yeah.
What a looking guy.
You could be that.
You look like Foxworthy.
And you're not smarter than a fifth grader, so.
Oh, yeah.
That's perfect.
Get back.
Get back in your face.
I don't know which features are his and which are yours.
Take out your cock.
Let the ritual commence.
A seduction ritual.
A sensual seduction ritual.
Yeah, he did that shit.
Oh, yeah.
If you say that sentence.
He did that guy's consensual.
How'd he come up with that?
Consensual seduction ritual.
He hired a PR firm.
That is a fucking sweet phrase.
So what is the ritual?
Helicopter and take out your dick.
He was trying to lasso her.
And if it starts getting sucked, the ritual is commencedter and take out your dick. He was trying to lasso her.
And if it starts getting
sucked, the ritual is
commenced.
That's right.
And how dare they
spit in the face of
ritual.
It would be funny if
Richard Dreyfuss just
became like Andrew
Tate 2.0.
His later life.
Richard Dreyfuss.
Richard Dreyfuss
telling us that women
shouldn't drive cars
what
is that what Tate was saying
oh he said it all
damn
they shouldn't be boat captains
I live by the motto
if you don't flirt
you die
that rules
what
80 year old grandma
so breathing
is that breathing
it's like sharks
having to swim.
Yeah.
Breathing and flirting were synonymous in Richard Dreyfuss' mind.
During those years, I was swept up in a world of celebrity and drugs.
See, that is something that every person who acted poorly in the 80s would be like,
yeah, too much cocaine.
When I think of celebrities living it up and getting pussy and doing cocaine,
I don't think Richard Dreyfuss.
I think that's just everyone who was famous in the 80s did a lot of coke.
It's just a fact.
You did it at church.
You just did it wherever you went.
It wasn't even illegal.
You just did it at the nightclub, at the table, off the cloth.
Imagine that.
Off a tablecloth?
I know.
Just being able to go to the club and being like, yep, we're going to do it.
We need like a CBD version of cocaine.
Yeah.
The way they've done for opiates with kratom and CBD for weed.
I was saying earlier that.
Like a milder cocaine that I could get at a gas station.
Or like drugs that you could take in small doses.
Like if there was a weed drink, but if you drink a weed drink,
I imagine it will get you high as fuck right away.
But like beers or a weed drink where you could have like eight of them
and be more on it or like two and you're just kind of chilling.
Vaping booze would be awesome too.
Vaping booze.
That's been done.
Yeah? LA Beast did it. Of course he didze would be awesome too. Vaping booze. That's been done. LA Beast did it.
Of course he did. He does it all.
You could pretty much almost instantly die if you do
too much of it because you don't
get the effects of drinking liquid.
It just hits you immediately.
So you can overdose on vaping alcohol.
LA Beast is the best.
He ate a bunch of cacti and puked them up.
Really? Yeah.
Like shoe nice? He's a better shoe nice.
There is no better shoe nice.
Steve will do it.
You seen those eyes?
Yeah they're piercing.
Well he eats 50 tampons.
Imagine being swooned
by a man
just munching on tampons.
Show us shoe nice.
Shoe nice looks cute
eating all those tampax.
His eyes are enchanting.
He always wears he knows exactly what he's doing.
He's always wearing baby blue.
Do you think that he fucks off of his content?
Oh, for sure.
Off of his content or off his piercing baby blue eyes and his looks?
Both.
It's his status.
Status, yeah.
What about the content?
I hope he doesn't eat pussy.
That would be really cool.
No.
No, no, no.
I'm a king.
But Shu,
this pussy needs some help.
But Shu,
you just ate a sandal.
Yeah.
Shu, you ate a hundred,
you ate a hundred thumbtacks
before dinner.
Uh-huh,
and then you had a VCR player
for dessert.
I ain't about that shit. I knew if you ate that VCR,
you wouldn't have room for pussy.
Hey, whistler to the wheat field.
Those eyes.
He's always wearing light blue.
He knows.
Oh, he's teaching people how to eat a tampon.
That's good.
A tutorial.
He should do a master class.
Yeah, he should.
How great would that be?
How old is he?
He's pretty old.
Where is he now?
Yeah, this is from 2012.
I think that would affect his face.
Like, he would look gross.
This is 10 years old.
I imagine tampons are caloric negative.
Is he still making stuff?
No.
I watched Where Is He Now?
He lives with, like, a calisthenics YouTuber.
Yeah, I think it's not such a good situation.
It's not a good situation.
Oh, really?
I think he's pretty active on Kami.
Something bad?
He left YouTube two days ago.
What happened?
The last slam, Shoenice leaves YouTube.
Why?
I bet he's done that a lot.
Can we hear this?
He aged a lot.
Well, basically, you can't say I didn't try.
I said I would upload three crazy eating videos, and they didn't go anywhere.
If I didn't share them to my 10,000 Snapchatters, they'd have less than 1,000 views.
So either way, all my true fans and my haters are over on TikTok now.
It's a great time.
Wheezy, Ted, John, Ellie, we're all one big happy family.
This is sad family This is sad
So either way guys
With a Budweiser can
Looking like the American flag
With freedom on it
This desert storm veteran
Is saying goodbye to YouTube
No
Believe what you want
On your mark
Game paper
Oh no YouTube. No. Believe what you want. I'll buy it. On your mark. Game, pay, share.
Oh,
no.
It's about to cough up machinery.
Yeah,
just a junk.
It's like when a cog
came out of his face.
Looks in the heck,
it was a cog.
Some nuts and,
yeah.
Oh,
man,
shoe dice.
This is sad.
Apparently,
he's just on TikTok now,
just replying to random people, making, like, random videos. Shoot ice. This is sad. Apparently, he's just on TikTok now, just replying to random people, making random videos.
Ribbit.
Oh.
That hurt.
That's sad, man.
I love it, man.
It's not that sad.
He's been doing it for a decade.
He left it all in the fucking field.
He burps in a piano sounds.
Either way, it was a long ride.
A crazy ride.
Oh, man.
But I've been doing these stunts way before the internet.
What is this doing to me?
So, yeah, I'm 53.
I got probably 43 years of doing crazy things to many people.
Yeah, just saying.
I was figuring out which way he was going.
He's a good-looking 53.
Yeah, for what he's ingested.
He's probably eaten, like, collectively a spy, a best buy inventory.
A Rite Aid.
Yeah.
Full body x-ray could be an iSpy book.
Yeah, really good.
You think he could reassemble the shit inside of him?
That would be super impressive.
Poor guy.
Roll snake eyes when he takes a shit.
Handsome as hell. Poor guy. Roll snake eyes when he takes a shit. Handsome as hell.
He is.
And, you know, it's just different.
You know, people aren't on YouTube.
The algorithm is probably...
Doesn't look nice upon shoe nice.
Probably pushing him down.
Are they shadow banning him?
Didn't they kick off Steve Will Do It?
Steve Will Do It got kicked off more so for the gambling stuff.
Because he was saying he was going to places where it was legal
and just obviously lying about it over and over again.
And that's what got him kicked off YouTube.
Will Do It.
That's heartbreaking.
We got to get Shu back in here.
He's got a stacked girlfriend.
He does. You got to Shoe Nice on PMT
That's a big get
Shoe Nice man
You guys want guests?
Yeah
Be the perfect first day
And it's guests
Shoe Nice would be good
I would take him
I would take him too
I want him in person though
I wanna see the eyes
See if he could eat
An entire like toolbox
The podcast ends
When he finishes his mic.
Brandon just left.
Yeah, he's done.
Brandon said to me the other day, he said, these one and a half REX are going to kill me.
Oh, wow.
So maybe it's not always me, huh?
His voice goes out midway through the Brandon Walker show if you want to watch that tonight on air.
Oh, that's right,
on YouTube.
Wait, you already taped it?
Oh my God,
no, every day his voice goes out
halfway through the show.
That's super dangerous.
What did he do?
I think he just
vapes.
He's vaping alcohol,
so if you pump alcohol
with a,
like if you cork a bottle
of beer or something
and then pump it
with a bike tire
or a bike pump.
Oh, we shouldn't be
telling people
how to do that.
It's not on you.
It says 14 million views. It says do not do this.'t be telling people how to do that. It's gone. This has 14 million views.
It says do not do this.
Oh, okay.
Don't do it.
So that's the next case race?
Go to him eating a cactus.
I love that.
I think I'm allowed to do that.
I think you can, dude.
Yeah.
It's not drinking.
You don't drink.
What?
I can't fucking breathe?
Oh, yeah.
You eat a cactus?
Yeah.
These are Nepalese.
This is why Shun Ice retired. Look how jacked he is. Oh. yeah. You cactus? Yeah. These are Nepali. This is why she and I survived.
Look how jacked he is.
Oh.
Damn.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
This needs to be in podcast form.
Okay.
Looks like she holds a strap on him.
Oh. Oh!
Oh!
You think he's playing it up, KB?
Oh, I mean that's...
You think he's playing it up real good?
I have spikes in my lips.
I sp...
He still has one more.
No blood.
Okay.
Tastes like fruit.
Ow!
Okay.
KB, that's how a real man handles a cactus.
Shut up, dude.
I was eating two.
Why is this the music?
It's the two cactus challenge.
I don't even know what your shit...
Ah, man. What? cactus challenge I don't even know like what your shit oh man what oh I don't like that
imagine the show as your buddies chowing down on a cactus damn
yeah this guy this guy's just a perfect summation of, like,
if you don't keep doing what you're doing,
someone's going to come along and do it better.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter if you were the first.
Yeah, he got replaced by LAP.
Steve Wiebe.
Just coming in.
Wow.
Nerd, yeah.
Devastating.
Brandon, we're going until 4.
Really?
No. That inhale you had was very panicked. Oh, we're going until 4. Really? No.
That inhale you had was very panicked.
Oh, I got to go.
There's pressure on me to come in there.
You can end it.
Sign us off.
What should we be doing tonight?
What should we be watching?
6 p.m.
The Brandon Walker College Football Show goes to YouTube.
The Barstool Sportsbook YouTube.
That's right.
Hell yes.
Check it out.
If that video at any point in time gets 1 million views. my ears right love it everyone tune in please all yeah we want to
pierce his ears tune in i will be giving you a real retweet a heartfelt retweet thank you very
much i appreciate that i'm just down why it's time i haven't had i haven't had a house for
two months and it's getting it's wearing on me. Want to go to my papa's? Kind of, yeah.
You have to fuck tonight.
I get to fuck tonight, but I don't want to fuck tonight.
Dude, I would be cherishing that.
I'll fuck for you.
You'll fuck for me?
You stunt cock.
Yeah.
I appreciate it.
Take part in my consensual sexual ritual.
I will.
Chill down, Brandon.
You got to give me the notes i'm just tired
today's a big deal you're up yeah i know but i can't i can't i can't shake it i just
you just spoke a doobie i gotta move later this week i've been killing a daily show and now you
get to amplify its audience 10x it's a college football season we're back no i'm moving i'm
moving friday are you moving to same town i had a house in before. Oh, no show Friday, by the way, for everyone at home.
Really?
No.
I thought we said no because the office is closed.
Oh, okay.
It is?
Tomorrow I'm leaving Wednesday morning.
Let's go, dude.
Maybe I'll go somewhere this weekend.
Yeah, no show Friday.
Mississippi State opens against Memphis on Saturday.
We can get you down there.
Where at?
Memphis?
At Starkville.
Oh, no.
I'm coming down to Memphis.
I'll be out tomorrow, but I'll be back on Wednesday.
I've got to go to Stu Feiner's house. Pray for me. I'm coming down to Memphis. I'll be out tomorrow, but I'll be back on Wednesday.
I gotta go to Stu Feiner's house.
Pray for me.
What are you gonna do over there?
I gotta do a Frisbee golf video,
and then we gotta... Where's that bitch Kate today?
Oh, yeah.
Where is that bitch?
Oh, yeah.
Probably rearing her child.
What a moron.
Do they get periods on Mondays?
Sheesh. Sheesh. She did a video with that kid yesterday, what a moron do they get periods on Mondays sheesh
she did a video with that kid yesterday
and that kid's the fucking cutest fucking kid
yeah he's a cute kid
it's wild to say from a man who's sired for
I know it's unbelievable
only like two and a half of mine were cute
it's actually about time for you to be
thinking about
another one
maybe tonight's the night
I've got to the end of the year.
You want me to impregnate
my wife tonight, Ron?
Yeah.
Bother me about that for a while.
Do it.
All right.
I'll come at my wife.
Nice.
Yeah, what should we call it
if it's going on today?
It's like you're trying to piss me off now.
Text us after.
It's like you're intentionally
trying to piss me off
talking about fucking your own wife.
What if we called the baby
Hercules Mulligan?
Woo!
Shoot ice walker.
Ooh.
Why Mulligan? It's a cool name. Hercules Mulligan. Wanted that Ice Walker. Ooh. Why Mulligan?
That's a cool name.
Hercules Mulligan.
Wanted that one back?
That is a fire name.
I think that was one of Alexandra Hamilton's boys.
Hercules Mulligan.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
They lived in New York together when they were late teens.
Hercules Walker.
The wheel decided its name.
Yeah, we'll all submit a name.
And then we'll wheel for it.
Yes.
I've got to make her pregnant first.
We can't just do it now.
No, no, no. Because I think it's almost destiny if you submit a name. And then we'll wheel for it. Yes. I've got to make her pregnant first. No, no, no.
Because I think it's almost destiny if you have a name.
Ooh, can you make her pregnant at the $12 show?
Each day we'll spend the week impregnating her that night.
That's the name.
That's the name.
A lot has to happen, yeah.
Yeah, a lot of moving parts on that one.
A lot of lovemaking.
Yeah.
How are you going to go about it?
The lovemaking? Aw. How are you going to go about it? The lovemaking?
Awkwardly, probably.
They've got a letter on top.
That's how they get impregnated.
Is it really?
I don't think that's true.
It's the opposite.
It's impossible to impregnate if they're on top.
Because of gravity.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, you're impregnating yourself, basically.
Okay.
Can't come on your back.
Good to have everyone back
tune in
6pm tonight
do it
you better
alright
see you in a while
it's gotta be Hercules Mulligan
I think we can
we can It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act. Thank you.