The Yak - Rone Repents for Cheating in The Dozen | The Yak 2-10-23
Episode Date: February 10, 2023War is not chillYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, Poojie, turn that up.
Put him over his knees.
His shorts will pop up and he'll just, oop, I'll put him right back over his knees.
Yeah.
Look at your shorts.
You keep on bringing him over your knees.
You make him into like a doll capri.
It's freezing.
Why wouldn't you wear pants? That doesn't help much.
That doesn't help at all.
What's not going to help?
His knees.
It covers His knees.
It covers my knees.
It makes sense, but I hate it.
Fair enough.
It makes sense, but I do not like it at all.
Yeah.
All right, well, it's chilly out here.
Oh, man.
This is chilly.
Yeah.
Fuck type shit.
His cats.
I plan on playing some pickleball this afternoon.
Oh.
Playing some pickleball?
Who didn't say that?
Yeah, let's play.
Yeah, let's play some pickleball.
I do wanna play.
I'd actually play now.
Ooh. Let's play. Should we want to play. I'd actually play now. Let's play.
Is it now?
We can do activities.
We can do activities.
Oh, there we go.
Thank you, Stanko. What a hero.
There's women and children.
Can you pass that blanket?
A little chilly. There's a draft in here.
Where'd your blanket go?
Flip the blanket.
Here, use my canes.
Use my canes, man.
No, we're high noon.
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Come here, buddy.
Oh, no.
Oh, you meant flip it.
No, no, no, no.
He's showing that it's a sponsor.
That's another alcohol.
Yeah.
There you go.
Okay, welcome to the app.
Are we live?
We're live.
We've been live.
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
Last day from the Super Bowl.
I'm losing my voice.
Yeah.
Tired.
Good thing to happen.
Hello, everyone.
I have the sniffles.
I apologize.
That's okay.
House is empty.
House is empty.
We just looked around and we're like, wait, this is just a Friday at the office where
it's just us here.
Yeah.
I want to do something off the top.
Okay.
I cheated in the dozen last night.
I would also like to do something off the top. Okay. I cheated in the dozen last night. I would also like to do something off the top.
I got triggered last night because I know you cheated because I watched the clip after.
Yeah, I talked out loud to gain a competitive advantage.
Right.
And I thought I was doing the right thing by saying we should be disqualified.
And then everyone said I was being a baby when I was like, no, no, if we cheated, we should be disqualified.
I want to pair something with my cheating, though.
A little reference.
I took all the heat for you, Rowan.
Don't worry.
Rowan, everyone was mad at me by the end of the night.
Is he getting wet?
Oh, my God.
He's getting wet.
Oh, my God.
He's offering himself.
Oh, look at this.
Oh. Justice.
It's a bad idea, Ron. It is a really bad idea, Ron.
It's like that band that cancelled
their tour. Kanye?
What? Yeah, Kanye.
That band cancelled their tour because
one of the guys cheated on his girlfriend.
Yeah.
You're confusing him with the Try Guys And Roan can't swim
He's about to die
Yeah, Roan can't swim
He's about to die
Do you remember that very uncomfortable
Oh man
Yes, yes, that's right We saw a breakup This guy was got outside of the bar last night. We got out of the cab. Yes, yes, that's right.
We saw a breakup.
This guy was walking
out of the bar
with his girlfriend
screaming at his girlfriend
being like,
was it worth it
for that guy?
The man in the tan sweatshirt.
You threw our relationship
away for the man
in the tan sweatshirt?
He was hung up on the tan.
That would be tough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rowan, do you feel better?
Rowan, don't put
the flannel back on. Yeah. Put this, do you feel better? Roan, don't put the flannel back on.
Yeah.
Put this guy in the loony bin.
It's his only chance.
You feel better, Roan?
Yeah.
Looks like you got caught in the rains down in Africa.
Dissolved.
I washed it out in the blood.
Yeah, it was quite a night.
Oh, boy, you're going to be miserable.
It was quite a night. Oh, boy, you're going to be miserable. It was quite a night.
Brandon, what you got?
I'm good.
I never said a word last night about that.
No, you didn't.
No.
You didn't.
I should have read the comments.
I started reading the comments.
And then I replied.
And then, obviously, people piled on because that, why wouldn't they?
They saw that I was triggered.
I just was like, we cheated, so we should be disqualified.
Well, I didn't notice.
Either we didn't cheat and we shouldn't do a redo, or we cheated and we should be disqualified.
That was my take.
My take on it was...
Well, you had your own thing with the Pharaoh Abraham.
That I legitimately thought was wrong.
I mean, that was my fault.
Shut up.
Stop complaining.
I thought you didn't hear me.
And then it fell down all the time.
Yeah, the Oscars thing.
I mean, you talked.
We talked during the regular.
I was trying to gain a competitive advantage by talking out loud.
I'm giving my perspective.
Your talking had nothing my percentage of it.
Your talking had nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with mine either, but when I watched it back,
I was like, oh yeah, that's cheating.
Oh yeah.
We should be disqualified.
I want to sit in it.
Yeah, so.
Hilarious.
Good time.
Great show put on by Jeff.
I had so much fun.
Jeff, you got anything?
It was the crankettes' first non-live show that we've done every single one except for this one.
Thank God.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
At least it wasn't as bad.
I was thinking about it when I got home last night.
I was like, we've done've done like two franchises that we
just were like let's do a live show this one obviously had controversy but it wasn't nearly
as bad as the emily austin rundown when we did the only rundown we ever did live and we all got
canceled for saying offensive things about uh mexicans and jews so oh yeah so this was way
better than that i don't I don't recall that.
Yeah, no, it wasn't good.
You think there's enough time has passed where the jokes are funny?
How specifically were you canceled for?
Well, I wasn't.
She was.
Okay.
Yeah, that was bad.
That was way worse.
So I put a little perspective when I was like,
yeah, remember when we did the other thing live?
I have a question for all of you guys.
Is live worth it?
For the viewer, probably.
Yeah.
Probably awesome for the viewer.
Yeah, I think people, I mean, the views were great.
Yeah, there were a lot of fucking people watching.
I know, the crowd was electric.
Yeah, I guess, yeah, 35K.
The crowd was awesome.
I think it was like 35K concurrent, or peak, but concurrent and never dip below 25,000.
That'd be awesome.
I mean, for the, I'll say one thing.
I don't want to, whatever, I don't want to, like, make this about the show.
But we don't ever, like, game shows aren't live in trivia never the Japanese
Millionaires are some way advanced so but people wanted lies we tried and I thought it was cool. Yeah. Yeah, thanks for doing it I appreciate it has to storyline
Rone is cleared by the way. Thank you
Wait have you gotten a death? It's more like i hope your wife gets
cancer but you were smart you didn't respond to anyone so they didn't yeah yeah i tried to
i made the fatal flaw of responding to like five people and then everyone's like oh easy mark which
i was last night that was an absolute easy mark eating bait i was like yeah fuck i did this to
myself i 100 did this to myself i would have been heavy in the replies my favorite player
got inducted into all fame last night yeah i know that was the worst part steven was just like
through all this i was like ronnie barber got it
i got it wees this year.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
You absolutely do.
Do you think he'll have you up on stage? Walter Payton, man of the year is?
No.
Dak Prescott.
Ah.
Some things are bigger than football.
That's beautiful.
What did he get it for?
Being the man of the year.
What about comeback?
What did he do?
Geno, I think.
Very cool.
West Virginia.
Oh.
Stand up.
I'll be.
What did Dak Prescott, how did he earn that?
He has some charitable offerings on the side.
I think he does a lot with suicide prevention and stuff like that.
Roan, reach out.
Working pretty good.
Dak, buddy.
Let's talk.
Did the Birds win any awards?
Snubbed?
They were snubbed.
No, well, Patrick Holmes won MVP in the last nine Super Bowl MVPs
that have played in the Super Bowl have lost.
And the last seven quarterbacks that had led the league in passing yards.
Actually, a quarterback who's led the league in passing yards
has never won the Super Bowl in that season.
Wow.
A little stat for you.
That's an insane stat.
That is an insane stat.
It shows that they have a bad defense. Right. Yeah. That's an insane stat. That is an insane stat. It shows that they have a bad defense.
Right.
Yeah.
That's right.
Yeah, because it's like...
That's very analytical of you.
I think it was Brady against the Eagles.
I'll shut up.
Brady against the Giants.
Marino.
Yep.
Rich Gannon.
Yeah, a lot of teams that just...
Kurt Warner when they lost to the D.
Rich Gannon won MVP.
Yeah. I mean, he was good that year. Same they lost to the Bigs. Rich Gannon won MVP. Yeah.
I mean, he was good that year.
Same high school as Marvin Harrison Jr.
He was good that year.
Jerry Rice was 39 years old.
University of Delaware, right?
Yeah.
Joe Flacco.
You know who else went to Delaware?
Joe Flacco.
Yep.
Joe Biden?
Yeah.
Did he?
Yeah.
A lot of Joes.
Alfred Blue is the fourth leading rusher all time for the Texans.
That's crazy.
Alfred Blue is? That is crazy. How many yards the Texans. That's crazy. Alfred Blue is?
That is crazy.
How many yards does he have?
I guess that makes sense, though.
He just edges out Ben Tate.
Because they're so new?
I guess, but, like, it's pathetic.
Ben Tate went to Auburn.
He did.
That's like whenever someone does the Bears who've never had a 4,000-yard passer.
That's an old-ass team.
That hurts.
That's an old-ass team.
They literally are the first team.
They've been playing for the most amount of years.
They're due.
They were playing like the
Rockford Steelworkers.
Yeah.
You've got to be able to put up 4K on those guys.
What's going on with Russell Wilson
getting controversy for his charity?
Isn't that most charities?
They only gave like 25 cents on the dollar to the actual charity?
They gave one-fourth of the actual cause?
Whoever works in the charity, like they have to get paid.
Sure.
But then, yeah, I don't know what the normal percent is.
I think it's supposed to be like, I think they have like one of those websites that
does charity like checking and I think it's supposed to be 90 cents is like good.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, 90 cents on the dollar going to charity.
Yeah, that's pretty bad.
He needs the money.
He just...
Yeah.
Charity is an amazing way to spend money for yourself.
It's small.
It's horrible.
Broke ass.
He only has 13 bathrooms.
Yeah.
That's, like...
I mean, come on.
You need a few more than that.
Yeah.
He didn't see a second hoop.
He's only got a half court.
If you have 13 bathrooms.
That is kind of, I actually agree with you.
That's fucking lame.
Have you seen it?
It's like a racquetball.
It's a very converted racquetball.
If you have a house that's 20,000 square feet, you should have a full court basketball.
Yes.
Yes.
A hundred percent.
But I think that at that point, the charity is for the people that work there.
Like any charity event where they're like, will you donate to our charity?
It's for them to pay the salary of like the CEO of the charity and like the president of the charity.
They're the charitable form of that.
Yeah.
Brandon, you want to say happy birthday to your sister?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's her birthday?
Yeah, it's her birthday.
Also, congratulations, Brandon, on winning MVP.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
Happy for you.
You did play great last night.
I did.
I felt good.
Enjoyed it.
You don't think Fran deserved it?
Fran VP?
She's a great player.
That's what I believe.
I believe Fran is a great player and a valuable member of the team.
I saw you and your wife walking out of the theater,
and you had your MVP jacket over her shoulders.
She was cold.
Wow.
Okay.
She was cold, and she was, you know, she was my trophy wife.
Leaving the stadium.
Yeah, quarterback leaving the
horse yeah that's nice you know that's beautiful with the cheerleader yeah she's gonna start
making tiktoks like day in the life of me i made a mistake for breakfast she'd never been around
this at all so this week has been an eye i get-opener. Yeah, we're not easy to be around.
It's been an eye-opening.
If you walked into, like, any moment of this week,
you'd be like, why do they all just always scream at each other?
Like yesterday at Barstool Radio,
y'all were first to meet each other.
It was just Dave screaming at me and Kevin for being one minute late to radio.
Well, you weren't doing anything else before.
Yeah, no.
I was sitting around, and then he left 15 minutes early to do an interview,
and we're like, what the fuck?
You could just tell that that's just Dave's running speed.
Like Super Bowl week, what's the controversy?
Yeah, yeah, right.
He was playing hero ball.
Yeah, of course.
Like if you leave dinner 10 minutes early.
What's the controversy? I was looking for it. It was more like 40 minutes. No, it hero ball. Yeah, of course. Like if you leave dinner 10 minutes early. Yeah. What's the controversy?
I was waiting for it.
No, it wasn't.
Well, how do you know?
I think me leaving extended the meal because they had to talk about us leaving.
Yeah.
I got my 20 back, though.
That's good.
That's huge.
Yeah.
You also threw a 20 at him in the argument between the games.
I did.
Threw five fives.
Threw four fives at him. Threw four fives at him.
And I only got back three.
Really?
I collected them and put them on the table for you.
Oh.
Well, whatever.
You got my five?
You want to do another wet wheel?
We should.
Honestly, it's the best.
That's part of what I was thinking of.
It's like, oh, when we do another wet wheel,
I can feel good about it because I'm already wet.
Yeah, that's true.
How good did the pull feel? It feels shockingly good once you get in it. I'm already with it. Yeah, that's true. How good did the pool feel?
It feels shockingly good once you get in it.
I did not want to leave.
I'm also not as cold as I thought I was.
How was the intermission shows last night?
I mean, you guys gave us a lot to talk about.
Thank you.
The script writers went crazy last night.
Yeah, I tossed the prep sheet out the window.
No, it went well.
It was really easy.
Kirk makes it easy. Yeah. He likes to stir the window. No, it went well. It was really easy. Kirk makes it easy.
Yeah.
He likes to stir the pot.
Yeah, I like Kirk.
He's fucking funny.
I like Kirk a lot, yeah.
He had a good week.
He was Mr. Barstool.
Did everything.
Yeah.
Came on the yak.
We were yakking, bro.
You should have been here yesterday.
We were yakking.
Dude, I wish.
The saddest part about me losing my voice right now, it's not even from partying.
It's just talking too much.
Yeah.
Like, I haven't even started to party.
And cigarettes.
Nick, you talked to me and you picked it last night.
Yeah, I blew it.
Where was it?
How'd that go?
Barstool Bar.
Oh, nice.
What happened?
I blew it.
How'd you blow it?
I was feeling jokey.
Oh, no.
That's usually good for you.
How jokey?
In that type of volume setting?
It was real, real loud. Yeah, listening. He was like, hey, come up, meet Kenny. And I go good for you. How jokey. And that type of volume setting. It was real, real loud.
Yeah, listening to this.
He was like, hey, come up, meet Kenny.
And I go up and I dap Kenny up.
I'm like, you want to dance?
Nothing, nothing.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Objectively hilarious.
Yeah, because I'm so used to being around you guys.
You can't do that with a girl.
He doesn't know me at all.
Maybe he's just not a good dancer.
Oh, my God.
He might just be super self-conscious about his moves.
Yeah, you're right.
And I walked up there like I was Danny Zuko.
Yeah, it was very...
I'm trying to think of the girls' names.
Oh, Cha-Cha...
It's like Cha-Cha...
She's the best. Cha-Cha... Di's like Cha-Cha. She's the best.
Cha-Cha Di Gregorio?
Is it Di Gregorio?
I don't know.
Yeah, I was working for it.
Yeah, damn.
But yeah, Danny Zuko.
Yeah.
So what happened?
Was that the end of the Kenny conversation?
Yes, sir.
Oh, man.
You get another shot.
Maybe.
I mean, Kenny's ride or die, so you'll...
He loves Barstool.
He loves Jerry, so...
Yeah, I appreciate Jerry setting me up for that.
Yeah.
And he was even talking to you throughout the day.
He was like, you want to meet Kenny?
Come to the bar later.
You're going to meet Kenny.
I had all day to think about what I was going to do.
Yeah, you could have said, put Danny in bed or not.
He just thought you were serious.
Yeah, I know.
It was the club.
Yeah.
No.
I mean, you were kind of...
If he had said yes, you would have danced with him.
That would have been the worst case scenario.
Let's hit the floor for a little bit.
Yeah, I wish you were dancing like in Scarface when it's just like rush, rush.
Face to face dancing with each other.
It would have been more of like a Pulp Fiction, I think.
Me just really nervous.
Trying not to touch him, but I want to.
Give him a little accidental heroin.
Have to revive Kenny Pickett.
Data picks at 2,000 likes.
Yes.
Let's get it pumped up.
It hit last night early, right?
It was fourth quarter.
Fourth quarter, but it hit comfortably.
The time zone gets me.
Yeah.
When it hits at 7 o'clock, I'm like, wow, that's an early hit.
It hit 5 out of 6. Damn. 41. When it hits at 7 o'clock, I'm like, wow, that's an early hit. 5 out of 6.
Damn.
141.
Damn, let's go.
I'm not allowed to say you're the best gambler, though.
People get mad at me when I say that.
It's Dante.
No, Kelly in Vegas, too.
And it's Kelly in Vegas.
Stephen Chay's the best gambler.
That's stupid.
His record is insane.
That's just stupid.
Anybody that takes offense to that, be better.
People have done like that? Oh, yeah. I said that maybe two weeks ago. Chay, you're the best gambler. I mean, his record is insane. That's just stupid. Anybody that takes offense to that, be better. Are people done like that?
Oh, yeah.
I said that like maybe two weeks ago.
Che, you're the best.
You are mad.
You are the best.
He's the goat.
I'm trying to think if there's a close second to Che.
No.
No.
No.
Maybe Stephen Che's leans that he doesn't actually release.
Yeah.
His unreleased album is better than most people's music.
The basement tapes are better than everyone else.
You've got to release those after you die.
Oh, my God.
There's a lot of talented people.
Stephen Chay's unreleased gambling tapes.
Your mom keeps putting them out.
She's taking advantage of them.
She's using his debt.
Making so much money off them.
Brandon, you sent the wife home, too. Yeah, I just sent her to the airport.
In a row?
Well, yeah. She was out here for a few days.
What, did she get on her Michael Irvin shit and get a little...
A bellhop?
I got her in the airport and yeah, she had a great time. It was a great week for us.
It was a great week.
She's the best. How was the Van Gogh exhibit?
We went to Immersive Monet.
They got a Monet out here?
Is that traveling?
It's everywhere.
I think there's five of them in New York City.
And it was fine.
It was fine for what it was.
We sat for an hour and looked at colors.
But it's a projector.
Wait, for how long?
For an hour.
Oh, that was five hours.
Oh, isn't it a 20-minute loop?
We didn't see the loop.
No, it's more than 20 minutes.
We saw, we noticed, I noticed. Brandon's just watching No, it's more than 20 minutes. We noticed
I noticed.
I noticed the first pair of repeated titties
about 45 minutes in.
I was like, I've seen those before.
Yeah, it was
Super Bowl week's always fun.
I feel like every day was like
100 hours long.
A lot of shit.
I've got a couple days to chill a little bit before the Super Bowl.
No chill?
I'm out tomorrow morning.
Are you leaving?
EFT and I got to do
Burt Kreischer's show
tomorrow.
Which one?
This eating show.
Oh, that's a good show.
Which I'm happy to do,
but it also was one of those,
like,
I was asked two weeks ago,
I was like,
yeah, no problem.
And now,
all I want to do is just
die in my hotel room
for a day.
Those dudes were in here doing a fucking ton of content yesterday.
Yeah.
Tons.
They were just fucking cranking out content.
And they just have comedy shows at night.
Yeah.
They also work hard.
I want to go to the golf tournament, but then I would have to go to the golf tournament.
Like, I would have to get up and go.
I would have to drive out there.
I think tomorrow there might be some people going, and we have a hookup.
I might go today.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So if you want to try to go tomorrow.
Let's go to a bookstore.
Who's staying?
You're staying.
Yeah, a bookstore.
I'm staying.
You're staying.
You guys are leaving.
I go to a bookstore every city I go by.
I'd do anything to be able to leave.
To look for books.
I would fucking kill a small animal.
Yeah.
Let me put you on the lead.
I have a bag.
I bring a special bag for my books.
A dog under 15 pounds, probably.
Yeah.
What I would do to be able to leave.
What kind of bag, Brandon?
A tote bag?
Just a special bag for my books.
You went like this with your hand.
Brandon doesn't like to go to bookstores.
You've been to my bookstores, haven't you?
Yeah, yeah.
They're your bookstores.
Well, I go to one in every city.
Yeah, we went to that one in Detroit.
I go to a used bookstore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can buy 10 books for $4. And you get to see the little personal notes in theores. Yeah. Yeah. So you can buy 10 books for $4.
And you get to see
like the little personal
notes in the front.
Yeah.
Right.
It's cool to see.
You went to an old
musty one in Detroit.
That was a good one though.
That was pretty cool.
Yeah.
That was a good one.
Yeah.
Igo had a good one.
Philly has a great one.
Old bookstore.
How many books you got?
A lot.
Hundreds.
You read them?
Yeah.
Mostly.
I don't read any of my books.
I'm about 20 books behind right now. I have a lot of books. I don't read any of my books. I'm about 20 books behind right now.
I have a lot of books. I don't read any.
Anytime I go to a bookstore, I just go immediately to the magazines.
Yeah, I order books.
Magazines are a time machine.
What?
Like opening a magazine.
You don't get magazines really anymore.
Are you subscribed to any magazines?
Does Sports Illustrated even exist anymore?
Not really, kind of. I guess it does, but i don't see it in magazine for me i mean does it still
exist yeah yeah it definitely does but does it come out everywhere yeah you see the swimsuit
like commemorative issues it doesn't come out every minute or i don't know i think i think
eagles when there's going to be i'm sure sports illustrated like i love looking at old like
previews like a 2006 2006 college football preview.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or one with Drew Bennett on the cover or something.
I'm addicted to buying books.
I buy probably about four or five books a month.
It makes you feel smart.
You've got to catch up with reading.
Yeah.
You've got to get addicted to reading.
Because I just see it.
I'll see it online.
I'll see it.
Someone will recommend something on Twitter or Instagram.
I'll be like, oh, that looks like a good book.
And I'll buy it on Amazon.
And then I just don't read it.
I steal a lot of books from the PMT room. When somebody comes on their book tour and leaves it, I'll just come in there and read it after. Yeah, that's smart a good book, and I'll buy it on Amazon, and then I just don't read it. I steal a lot of books from the PMT room.
When somebody comes on their book tour and leaves it,
I'll just come in there and read it after.
Yeah, that's smart.
What kind of books do you buy?
Everything.
Sports books?
Sports.
Like, I think I bought new...
I always buy the new Chuck Klosterman.
I haven't read one of his books for, like, a decade.
I bought a Chuck Klosterman recently.
Every Michael Lewis, like, technology books, biographies, just don't read any of them.
Someday, I'll get to them.
The dudes that crush books on tape, I feel like are cheating a little bit.
And that's from someone who knows how to do it.
I feel like those are people who are saying they're reading a book.
Yeah, that's what I'm reading.
You're just going for a run.
You're listening to a podcast.
Yeah, it's like if I listen to a bunch of podcasts, I'm not going to count that as books I've read this year. Right.
But the people who have listened to a bunch of books on tape will be like, yeah, I've read 80 books this year.
Read?
It's a little bit different.
I don't like to be a hard-o about it, though.
But what's your take on foreign films?
I think that counts as a book.
Yes.
That's a lot of reading.
If there's subtitles, any subtitles.
Yeah, that's a lot of reading.
If you just put subtitles on a show.
Yeah, like I read All Quiet
on the Western Front
or when you go to
like a New York City
diner and they're
like the menu's
like this big
with every single
type of
country's food
Cheesecake Factory
has a book
that's a book
did you read All Quiet
on the Western Front
I watched the movie
and it was in subtitles
it was good
it was very
war sucks
yeah war sucks
that was my big takeaway
I was saying that
a couple months ago
yeah
wait you were the first person with that 30 big takeaway I was saying that A couple months ago Yeah Wait you were the first
Person with that tape
30 years
And I was like
Yeah I saw some footage
I was like yeah
That's the worst thing
Right
It's the worst thing
We're doing yeah
Yeah
Big takeaway is like
War is
Decidedly not chill
Oh my god no
Especially that kind of war
Oh yeah
That was the
That had to be
The worst kind of war Hey just get up That had to be the worst kind of war.
Hey, just get up out of your trench and just go get mowed down.
And run forward and just get mowed down and then go back into your trench.
I don't even just leave. I'm just wet all the time.
They'd kill you. You'd even complain and they'd kill you.
I'd kill them before they could kill me.
Yeah.
Some big mutiny.
You gotta have a nice day.
What are we doing here, dude?
You gotta have a nice day.
In those barracks when you're in those trenches, I guess, what's the bathroom situation?
You dig a hole.
Yeah, I don't know.
In the movie, they all had benches, and they would hang their ass over the bench.
Yeah.
And then they would just...
Shit behind them.
And they would all get trench foot, because they'd be just standing in water the whole time.
So their feet would rot.
Oh, that's terrible.
Yeah.
Not good.
Yeah, well, again, war war decidedly not chill. Yeah, you think it's a little bit better now just getting fucking droned
You're like that's a little bit nicer. Yeah, I guess it's more like an office job
What a white-collar soldier
Although he did he ran to that helicopter once Oh that was awesome
You could see a little bit of his ab
Yeah he's like oh shit I gotta go
Everyone's like what a hero
That was staged
Yeah definitely staged
Should we spin the wet wheel?
Oh by the way I just, breaking news
I taught TJ how to throw a spiral
Oh that was nice
He didn't retain that.
I never taught him.
He needed a good role model in his life.
He literally threw me a ball, and it was like a knuckleball.
I was like, TJ, what happened here?
He's like, I never learned how to throw a spiral.
So I just told him where to put his hands.
Tim.
He was throwing a spiral in two throws.
Tim's tweeting about video games.
Did he catch it on the ball or what?
What?
Yeah, it was.
Catchable?
TJ, come out here and show everyone the spiral.
Let's go. Yesterday. Come on, show it off, boy. I'm going to show them what I what? What? Yeah, it was. TJ, come out here and show everyone the spiral. Let's go.
Yesterday.
Come on, show it off, boy.
Show them what I taught you.
Remember what I taught you.
I walked up on the most ridiculous argument about spirals yesterday.
Stephen Che was in like a heated half-hour argument with John,
one of our camera guys who does like Snapchat and stuff like that.
And John was like, I have the top three most catchable ball at barstool and see was like you're not even close to his face
all he needs all right Steven get out there we go go Steven Steven will catch
it remember what I thought I'm going for this here we go TJ TJ. Yeah, point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great quarterback move.
Oh!
Oh!
That was catchable.
That was catchable.
Come on, Che.
That was a nice spiral.
Steven cannot go out like that.
No.
Should be doing more activities.
We can do activities.
Oh, yeah.
That was good.
One more.
Let's get one more.
Steve is just flexing for us.
Just having a good time.
You got a smile.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's the one.
Fuck yes, TJ.
And Tim had how many years?
Yeah.
You had three throws.
Yeah, maybe a minute.
Come on, Tim.
Come on.
That's why he's a loser.
Steve, do you feel good about that?
No, I mean, I could have jumped to the first one a bit more.
It's okay.
Just focus.
You're not shivering at all.
I know they say you're not supposed to shiver.
Well, how do you not shiver?
I just get so many ice bath tick tocks.
An involuntary activity.
Yeah.
I have so many ice bath tick tocks.
I get so excited that I don't do that and I don't have to do that.
It looks terrible.
They're like, if you just sit there, you're going to create like a thermal shell.
So you have to like move your arms around so it feels as bad as possible.
And then when you get out, you're not supposed to shiver at all.
Like just go about your business.
You're a man.
I never thought about just not shivering.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about it now and it's kind of working.
I opened up TikTok this morning and it was just you talking to like a tmz reporter yesterday yeah two days ago oh yeah this tmz reporter
stopped me and i was like i don't want to do this he's like oh come on please i'm a huge
barstool fan i was like all right and he was just like so tell us about the big bet what are you
gonna do if you win and i was just like if you're a big barstool fan like you know the answer like
i'm gonna lose it all in March Madness.
And then he's like, all right, so March Madness, hypothetically,
if you could put a future on anything, what would you do?
I was like, I already did it a month ago on Tennessee.
I gave the worst interview ever.
But he still threw it up.
And I have to go to TikTok in the morning because of how bad Twitter is getting, dude.
It's all Joe Swole fucking 3,000 word fucking post. He's on TikTok too.
I can't avoid him and his fucking eyebrow patch.
I think I love that, dude.
But did you see his long ass post he wrote?
It was like, I didn't even know he could expand it.
It was a blog, yeah.
It was like unrolling a scroll.
It's like, what is Joey Scroll talking about?
Joey Swole.
Yeah. Joey Swole is the guy that like, he's like, you know Joey Skrull talking about? Joey Skrull. Yeah.
Joey Skrull is the guy that, like, he's like a...
You know who he is, Steven?
I have no idea.
He's like a fitness guy who, like, whenever women are, like, filming themselves in the gym,
and they're like, this scumbag guy looked at my ass.
And he's like, at the gym, guys are allowed to, like, look around and look at girls' assholes if they want to.
But he wears his hat real high. I like him. I I think I like him and then he's got tons of shooters
So any like it's the easiest lane all their war is at Joey swole
So bad it's the easiest lane. There's no like no debates like he finds like the worst person
Yeah, and everyone's narcissistic people who are like, they can't get attention from their narcissism, so they're trying
to otherize an innocent
bystander who just glances
around the gym.
They sequester a corner of the
gym to work out in, and a dude walks
by, and Joey Swole has to fucking defend
their honor. Dude, I've been going back to the
gym, and I just forgot how
many dicks you see.
Just in the locker room. Yeah, a lot of
dicks. I mean, every dude who's older than 50 just does not care. They don't care. At
all. They don't care. Like, just walking around. Yeah, I don't, no. You don't? Not at Planet
Fitness. Are there older gentlemen? Um, what? You can't tell him what he sees. You're disputing
the dick situation at Planet Fitness? It's an older... I used to go to Planet Fitness
and I used to see dicks non-stop. It was the worst. Non situation at Planet Fitness. It's an older Non-stop is the worst on stop to it. It's all the only moments. I was bummed but I bummed out in my 20s
Anyone in your family die in that decade?
Grandparents?
I guess like my... But man, it was the dick.
Horrible.
You're describing something that's sad or tragic.
Yeah, I don't...
You walk into the locker room and you're like,
alright, don't mind where I'm at.
Did they have beautiful dicks?
Seeing a dick doesn't make me sad.
No, it did make me sad.
Yeah, that's weird.
I was not opting into that.
I just wanted to get my shit.
It's not sad.
It's just like, I saw a dick.
I didn't think I'd see dicks today.
I saw seven dicks.
Could you see enough dicks to where it would make you cry?
I don't even want to think about what that limb would be.
Probably not, because it would probably be the sensitivity.
Be sensitized, yeah.
But KB, are there older
gentlemen at Lifetime Fitness?
There's some, but I don't
shower there.
Oh, okay.
It's always...
It's never anyone in their 20s, 30s,
or 40s.
It's always 50 plus plus more like 60 plus
they're penis out lifers they're just yeah i i don't know if there was like a
rule in the 80s where it was like socially acceptable to walk around in a locker room
it was like gym class like dude i never had a gym class where i had to get ass naked yeah and if you
did that's like do you think though when we get to that age we'll be
dicks out guys i never will be i don't i don't think so either but how did all these guys end
up being dick dicks out guys i think they used to always have to have their dicks out and like
it's even even points where it's like today i went to the locker uh and there was a guy who just
showered and he was just standing there naked.
I was like, what's going on?
Dicks aren't hip anymore.
When was the last time you saw a dick in a movie?
Ooh.
Uh, White Lotus season two.
White Lotus season two has a dick?
A monster, it's a prosthetic.
Oh yeah. It's so big.
Oh, is it a prosthetic?
Yes, it's a prosthetic.
Thank God.
That would make me sad.
I'd have to have a dick on the silver screen
in a hot minute.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall, maybe?
That's a big blue dick, but that's also a CGI dick.
And that was, was that his real dick?
Yes, Sarah Marshall had.
I think that was his real dick, yeah.
Okay, nice.
Okay.
Dunk.
Slam dunk.
Stanko, good shit, brother.
Good job, Stanko.
Stanko was our movie guy, bro.
I wish we got to kick it to Stanko.
Yeah.
He is the true movie guy of Barstool.
He has a really complex rating system, and he sees more than anybody.
Yeah.
What's his rating system?
I didn't know that about Stanko.
He has a blog.
What's Stanko's blog?
Stanko, what's his blog?
What's Stanko's blog?
Stanko is a blogger.
All right.
All right.
Cold, Steven? Very cold. Couldn't be me. logger. All right. All right.
Cold, Steven?
Very cold.
Couldn't be me.
Let's spin the wet wheel.
Yeah, spin the wet wheel, TJ.
Hopefully you don't get it again.
You're in like a normal temperature atmosphere, but then you get like a distinct chill.
You immediately have to poop.
Drop your blog.
What?
What's your blog, Stanko?
What's that?
Dot com.
What is it? Stanko St What's that? Dot com. What is it?
Stankostance.com.
Stankostance.
Stance or stands?
Stance, like batting stance.
Stanko stance.
It's your stance on the movie.
And do you have a complex rating system?
I do.
You know, A plus A go down.
I'm not just numbers.
I've thought into it.
Wait.
Wait.
There's more numbers than letters.
It's true, but the letters, you have to associate to numbers, so there's more thinking involved.
Wait, wait, what's the reading system?
Like A plus, A minus, like you're in elementary school or whatever.
So that's not that complex.
We all went through that.
Well, it's true, but...
That's the opposite of complex.
No, with the letters, you have to associate to numbers.
It's not just numbers.
We have to know what the corresponding numbers are?
Is a 73 a C or a C minus?
That's a C- in my book.
So everything below 60 is an F?
What's an 87?
A+.
What's a 90?
A.
No, A-, A-, A-.
So 89 would be a B+.
So what was your GPA this month?
How good were the movies?
My GPA this month is pretty good because it's Oscar movies.
Oh, okay.
It's been pretty good this month dean so what's
your most controversial a plus uh the expendables oh what oh i fucking love the expendables
all the time and i will chew it up no problem that's justy low what did you give the expendables
he's looking it up we're gonna have a how gonna have a 32 and uh at wisconsin they did the the grading system was 55
that's pretty low that's pretty low they are subjective it was a a b b so like if you're a
b plus guy you get an a b which rules you know what the hell's an a b it was it if you're a B plus guy, you get an AB, which rules.
You know what I mean?
What the hell is an AB?
It was, it's, it's a B plus, A minus.
So at WVU, you could choose to choose, you can have like one class a semester, you choose as pass fail.
Pass fail, yeah, yeah.
Do you have that?
Yes, yes.
You guys?
No.
Yes.
Just two grades.
Yeah.
That's how it should be.
Is it like Brown or something?
Yes.
Just like yes or no?
Yes, yeah.
Oh, really?
You like, don't you go up in front of of him and basically state your case why you should deserve a yes?
I didn't know that.
I think so.
That should be how all schools are.
Tell me you deserve this.
Yeah.
How much of my dick will you suck?
I think my movie ranking system is okay to good.
Mine is, do I think about it the next morning when I wake up?
Okay.
That's it.
So if I think about it when I wake up, it was a good movie.
What if you watched the movie the previous morning?
I'm not a really big morning movie watcher.
So it's at nighttime.
Yeah.
Matinees?
No.
That's too sexy of a word for a daytime movie.
Yeah.
But I guess a matinee would be, do you think about it at night?
So are you still thinking about it within 12 hours after watching the movie?
Okay.
And it's just that.
There was a brief period where I was between jobs and I would crush matinees.
Like, one a day for a couple weeks.
Good life.
Well, you love movie theater popcorn, right?
Favorite food, yeah.
Wait, so you were, so what age were you?
24.
And you would just go to a movie every day?
Yep.
That kind of rules.
That's a good life.
Yeah, that kind of rules.
That's a really good life.
If you do before noon, it was like six bucks.
Before noon?
They show movies before noon?
In New York.
That's when you were smuggling in popcorn.
Oh, you were smuggling?
I would smuggle in, between jobs.
No, totally. But were you between jobs, like you would finish your job and you knew you had another one or you're looking for another one
i was looking for another you're unemployed you're unemployed so you were wasting your time at the
movies when you could have been looking for jobs yes i mean you can't look for jobs 24 hours a day
i mean i looked for any movie time yeah it's great One of my favorite parts of all life. I miss going to the sauna.
Wait, but that was...
In his 20s.
Remember, he wasn't sad in his 20s.
Well, no.
Were you going to the gym then, too?
Yeah.
He needed an escape from all the penises.
Yeah, so it sounds like you were having a yin and yang day.
You'd go to the matinee, it'd be great.
You'd go see the dicks.
Then go see Blood Diamond.
That's the most Stephen Chay could be sad.
If he sees a dick, he's sad for one minute.
Just sit down.
That's it.
Like the Popeye's worker.
But do the dicks stack?
So if you see five dicks,
you're sad for five minutes?
I don't think I would see
that many.
Like, it was a decent,
but like, yeah,
you see one,
you're just like,
God damn.
What the fuck?
God damn.
God damn it.
Oh my God damn it. Damn it? Oh, my God.
Yeah.
God damn, that's a dick.
God damn dick.
I can't wait to prank you and just be like, I'm going to make Chase so sad.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to show you my dick right now.
He just goes home and throws his bag down.
He is sorrow.
Two Bowl Week was good until the entire YAC showed me their dicks.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
It happened, little buddy.
I just saw a bunch of penis pieces.
It's also just so great that you, the way your brain is wired,
like real life tragedy can't affect you, but a dick in a locker room.
For like a minute.
But I just don't think sad is the right emotion.
No, it's like, put your head down.
Like a rain cloud.
No, I guess I was a little younger.
I was going to say, didn't 9-11 happen when you were in your 20s?
No.
So it was a little earlier.
Dude, I mean, you're younger than me, too.
Yeah, I know.
So did that make you sad?
Was that sadder than a dick?
Yeah.
Okay, good, good.
I just wanted to see what the line was.
Significantly sadder?
Yeah.
Okay.
You're about to do a scale.
You're about to do a scale.
Let's name five sad things and you rank them.
Okay.
9-11.
9-11.
Penis.
Penis.
That scene in the Titanic where the old
husband makes his old wife go to bed as the ship is sinking oh oh yeah um Sandy Hook oh Jesus I
mean that was sad that's and that's number one okay and one more sad thing um dog dying Dog dying. The Bucs losing. Bucs losing.
Division game?
Yeah.
Saints.
At home.
Sandy Hook.
Monday night football.
9-11.
Okay.
Bucs losing.
Yeah.
Dick dog dying. Dick dog dying, then grandma dying 6
Not listed, unranked
I think you nailed it
Next week we'll see if grandma gets the top 5
You're so desensitized to dog dying
That's just Tuesday
You want to do the high noon ad?
High noon is delicious
I had some enjoyable high noon last night
I'm drinking a grapefruit right now.
We have pineapple right here, mango right there.
Ooh, a black cherry over there.
That's one of my top maybe 16 favorite flavors.
How many times do I go out and I want something to drink,
but they got just these stupid malted shit with malt all in it?
There's no malt in these, is there?
No, not in high noon.
We had a long conversation last night.
About what malt is.
Yeah, because I was the one who wasn't afraid to ask
did you figure it out everyone was like what then i was like an explainer and everyone was like
it was the three of us and your wife and i feel like we had a pretty rational conversation
conversation it was like malt is in milk balls but is it a grain or like malted milk balls
have we figured that out yet is it a grain because it's not in high noon i can tell you
that shit right now this isn't good they got real real vodka, and it is, I was about to read the wrong ad. Only 100 calories,
gluten-free, no added sugar. The full-time flavors, pineapple, black cherry, watermelon,
grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, and lemon. They got lemon edition flavors. If you get
the tailgate pack, you can have the pear and the cranberry. If you get the pool pack, the kiwi and
the guava, look for high noon on Drizzly or at your local convenience store or your liquor store.
Visit highnoonspirits.com and pretty much any bar you go to now, I feel like you can
have delicious High Noon.
They're everywhere.
Facts.
And they're delicious and fantastic.
Enjoy High Noon.
Yes.
Does it make a difference if it's hard or soft?
Oh, good question.
Thank you.
I've never seen a hard penis in person.
That's a great
I haven't
You don't see a lot of hard dicks
Does that make a difference?
Yeah, fuck, I don't think I've seen a hard dick
I did at a wrestling camp
One kid
Poor kid, yeah, he was hard in the shower
Accidentally?
Team Jordan camp, yeah, that was the same camp
That I showered with my underwear on
you might have made the right move yeah honestly you could have got hunted down by this i don't
think there's no none others what about wet or soft i mean wet wet or dry no difference what
about bushy or shaved i feel like they're all bushy. Yeah. The ones that are... So if you saw shades, would it bum you out or you'd be like, nice dick?
I don't know.
Probably the same.
So all dicks are dicks is basically what you're saying.
Yeah.
That's progressive.
I'm just getting sad.
They don't look like hairless ones, right?
What if they're on a swimmer from the University of Pennsylvania?
What did you say?
Nothing.
Should we spin the wet wheel?
Yes, yes, the wet wheel.
You're antsy to do it today.
He wants to get re-wet.
It's so much nicer in the pool than out here.
Biquette, do you know that yesterday you got in the finals again?
Yeah, three out of the four days I've been in the finals.
Three out of three days?
Three out of three days I've been in the finals.
I feel like that means I'm going to be due.
Also, if the wheel is just, Roan would have to get in again.
Yes. That is what is really just.
That's what I'm hoping for.
So none of my boys have to get away.
What?
Nobody's gone hot tub yet.
I think that's my plan.
Roan's safe.
There he goes. He took the crown.
That's bullshit. That's bullshit.
DJ, you starting to think about it yet?
No.
Two out of three days.
Come on.
You got it.
I think I'm getting it.
Dry week.
I think I'm getting it.
You called your shot.
You called your shot.
I'm getting it again Dry week. I think I'm getting wet. You called your shot. You called your shot. I'm getting it again.
Oh, God.
This is insane.
I'm going to go to the finals again.
CJ, how are you feeling, buddy?
I feel great.
God damn it.
I feel great.
All right.
All right.
Let's get this.
You went to the finals.
Yeah. You're four finals. Yeah.
You're like Joe Montana.
Well, no, I'm going for Joe Montana.
I'm going for 4-0 in the finals.
Terry Bradshaw.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll keep cutting my balls.
All right.
Is there a dryer here?
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
One-nothing Brandon.
Okay.
Two-nothing.
I was going to say, if I do get wet, I'm spending the rest of the show in the sun back there.
So much difference.
Oh, we can't.
It's a little early to do that, don't you think? We're all going to the hot tub? It's over. We're all going to the hot tub? No, no can't. It's a little early to do that, don't you think?
It's over.
We're all going to the hot tub?
No, no, no.
That's 2-1.
See?
Do the show from there?
Oh, the mic's right here.
Nobody's won a Rogue game yet.
Yeah.
All right.
Wall it out.
Yeah, get that wall out.
Get the wall out.
Okay, that's good.
That's 3-1.
Yeah.
3-1.
It's me, dude. It's falling out. It's about to be... Okay, that's good. That's a great one. Yeah.
Great one.
It's me, dude.
It's you.
Congrats, man.
First one?
How's that?
All right.
Wow.
Yeah, that sucks.
Oh, dry week?
Dry week, yeah.
Dry week?
There he goes.
Here he goes.
Might see his dog.
He's a good dog.
He's a good dog.
He's a good dog.
He's a good dog.
He's a good dog. He's a good dog. He's a good dog. He's a good dog. He's a good dog. Dry week? Dry week, yeah. Dry week?
There he goes.
Here he goes.
Might see his dick in a minute.
Christmas time.
So when you watch porn, there's dicks in it.
Pixelated.
Far different.
Sending he can't open the door.
I'm opting into that experience.
Okay, yeah, you're right.
But you're opting in by going into a public locker.
Also a hot tub, Dan, if you want it.
Not the same.
Nope.
Oh, he's doing the walk.
There he goes.
Right into it.
They came up.
He might stay.
Yeah.
Somebody's going to stay.
It's really nice in there.
Yeah.
Shit.
I want a nice pool.
46 seconds.
I was going to say 52.
I was going to say six minutes.
Six minutes.
Who's counting? Am I going to stop watching? I'll go All right, ready? Six minutes. Who's counting?
Am I going to stop watching? I'll go five minutes, 58 seconds.
Nobody's...
Three, four, five...
But you're more influenced.
Slow the second.
No.
Seven, eight...
No shot he's going to make it to 40.
Eight.
Seven, 12, 13, 14, 15.
What was that, like 50? Yeah. 50. 50. You almost got a minute. That was like a minute. 13 14 15 Yeah
Yeah
50
Almost got a minute
That was like a minute
That was like a minute
I wish Fasoli walked out
And saw a big cat floating
He just
No
Fasoli rises from the depths
Like a mermaid
Damn from the depths like a merman.
Damn!
You peeing?
Yeah.
There's a guy that came in and did stuff to the pool yesterday.
There are no trees around here with leaves.
That feels like a really easy job.
There's leaves right over there.
Not that they're falling off.
They're not like New Jersey.
Oh, no.
I don't think you have to do a lot of leaf removal here.
So what does a pool guy in Arizona do?
I don't know.
Gets the lizards out.
Changes out the chemicals.
Yeah.
We've got to talk to everyone at this house.
We could be saving you a decent amount of money. Fire that family, man. We got to talk to whoever owns this house.
We could be saving you a decent amount of money.
Fire that family, man.
How's it feel now?
Yeah.
God damn.
I want to get on the pickleball court. Did you miss any spots?
Yeah, I want to play pickleball, too.
Brandon, you're my partner.
Yep.
I'm going to run it back.
Are you good?
Are you good?
He's good.
Jeff is good at everything.
That sucks.
Me and Kyle are undefeated.
Yeah, being in the pool is way better than being out of the pool.
Is he good?
He's good at everything, too.
He's sneaky.
Jack is maybe my favorite co-worker.
Jack?
Yeah.
I'm trying to think.
He has never made me feel bad or worried.
No, I think he's in my top five.
And he's steezy.
Yeah.
Very steezy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Extremely steezy. Yeah, he's in my top five. And he's steezy. Yeah. Very steezy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Extremely steezy.
Yeah, he's in my top five, but I don't know if he has one.
Real quick, what is steezy?
It's like, think of Jack.
Stylish?
Yeah, very steezy.
He's always got a big old NASCAR graphic on his tee.
Yeah.
Looks so cool.
Got some vintage t-shirts.
Always, always.
There's a cool gate to his walk as well.
Adam's apple from hell, though.
Is it too big?
No, it's...
You can shave that down.
Yeah, but if you've never seen it, you'll stare at it from now on.
That's a man that's been to Thailand.
You guys want to play pickleball?
Quite simple, actually.
That's been the other one.
Yeah, do we have a setup that we can do pickleball?
Dan, did you ever see Jack?
He didn't live in the house they sold it, but his Wisconsin wall he had?
Yeah, it was sick.
I can't believe it.
If you guys run twos on pickleball, I could commentate from over here.
Yeah, I'll put my clothes in the dryer and come back out.
He's your favorite?
I think mine's Tyler Miller.
I love Tyler.
I think mine's my sister.
Jack has never done anything or said anything
that has brought me down
I'd agree with that
how many people here have?
I think we all have done something
just KP
bring him down
Tyler hasn't either
I think just sometimes being nice to KP
brings him down
if I'm like hey what's what's up, KB?
What's cooking?
He's just like, ah.
I've just learned.
The last time you guys did this, I had an existential crisis.
No, you are not like that anymore.
He hates me.
He hates me.
It took me so long to realize that maybe he doesn't hate me.
He's just.
Yeah, that does a lot of damage.
That does a lot of damage. He's just the worst vibe. No, no, no. He's just very Yeah, that does a lot of damage. That does a lot of damage.
He's just the worst vibe.
No, no, no.
He's just very, very cool.
You're not like that anymore,
but when you first started,
I said to Roan,
I was like,
I'm pretty sure KB hates me,
and Roan's like,
no way.
And then, like,
a month later,
he's like,
yeah, he hates me too.
No, he actually doesn't.
His aura is just sinister.
He's on his demon time at all times.
He's always demon.
It's demon time somewhere.
All right, who's playing?
Me and Brandon, and I want to play Thief.
Oh, yeah, spin the wheel, TJ.
And then Roan will commentate.
I'll put my pants in the dryer and come back out.
No, mic up.
Yeah, I don't want to give you one now.
Do you have game time?
Oh, wow.
The bottom of my feet are the only thing that's getting cold,
but they won't be cold when I'm at the freaking...
Pickleball court.
Or the freaking Super Bowl,
where you can get tickets via game time,
last-minute deals, incredible seats, incredible tickets, super easy.
Just a couple clicks, a few swipes, they give you the price right there, right up front.
It's not like the rest of these ticketing apps where they don't even give you the price until you've paid.
Some absolute bullshit.
Game time's up front.
It's easy.
It's the newest and best way to get last minute tickets to not only
sporting events, shows, concerts, concertos, operas, all that type of shit. Because stand-up
comedy shows, you could probably go to that stand-up comedy show you've been yearning to go
to, Brandon, tonight via GameTime. The purchase process, two taps, 10 seconds. And once you buy
your tickets, they're right there. Plus, it's super easy to share.
You can get those tickets to your friends,
and they don't have to worry about downloading them as they're in the line,
if there's a little bit of bad Wi-Fi or anything.
No, direct to your phone.
Right there.
It's that freaking simple.
Game Time, the new ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.
And if you download the Game Time app and go to the website,
enter your email and redeem code YAK,
you can get $20 off your first purchase, Brandon.
We really could have used this ad time to be walking over to the pickleball court.
Yeah.
All right, I'll come back out.
I'm going to throw my pants in the dryer.
Ron, have you ever been to Bali?
Huh?
Bali?
Yeah.
I'd love to go.
You boys want to make a pit stop?
Bali?
Yeah.
That's.
Where's the dryer?
That sounds incredible.
Oh, that's right. Bali. Bali. Didn't. What? Didn't.. That's... That sounds incredible. That's right.
Bali!
Didn't...
At the end of, like, Triple X,
didn't he say that to, like, the girl?
He said, Bali!
I've only ever seen State of the Union.
Oh, you haven't seen the first Triple X?
At the end, doesn't he wind up going to, like,
some remote island?
I think I checked out when he snowboarded...
Is it Bali?
He snowboarded an avalanche.
Yeah.
Or, like, Bora Bora! He raced an avalanche down a hill he snowboarded, when he out snowboarded an avalanche. Yeah. Or like Bora Bora.
He raced an avalanche down a hill on a snowboard in one.
Let's see the play.
Justino.
So it's you and PFT against me and Kyle?
Yeah.
Are we supposed to wear our mics for this or no?
No mics.
No mics.
No mics.
No mics. No mics. No mics. Can the boys successfully escape?
Or will they have wet?
Oh, my God.
All right.
All right, name wheel, not wet.
I need to figure out what MLK is.
Is that what you think?
No, it landed on it.
The first day.
Oh, my God. I need to figure out what that is. Here, No, it landed on it. The first day. Oh, my God.
I need to figure out what that is.
Here, let me sit my ass down.
Let's get Kirk off there, get Mangold off there, get Will off there.
We're going to get Nick Mangold tonight, brother.
No, no, no.
My Uber's getting me at 5 o'clock in the morning.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Well, I might go to waste management. Oh Are you serious? Yeah. So you're done. Yeah.
Well, I might go to waste management.
Oh, that would be fun.
What?
Sunglass.
He's getting early onset strokes.
Roan.
Is this my wheel?
Yes.
All right.
Yes, it is.
All right.
First time in Santa.
Hey, Super Bowl week is done.
How do you feel?
I feel pretty good.
I mean, I still have the, I wanna to, I need to focus on the game.
Yeah.
I feel like I haven't been able to enjoy the game, really.
But you also haven't been nervous this week, so that's good.
I have, but for different, or, you know, for lots of different reasons.
I spent a lot of time last night working on this rap battle.
Oh, yeah.
I just went back from the dozen, and I just, like, spent three hours working on this shit. And it's shaping on this rap battle. Oh, yeah. I just went back from the dozen and I just spent three hours working on this shit.
And it's shaping up pretty fucking good.
Okay, good.
But I've been nervous about that.
I have an underlying sense of anxiety.
You're doing the whole thing in a Chinese accent, right?
Yes.
Or, I mean, I'm oscillating between all different Asians.
A difference between us.
Okay.
But yeah, let's spin this wheel.
And I wonder what it'll be.
Is that your photo with Drake?
I think it is.
Hopefully I'll get a new one tomorrow at Drake's party.
Oh yeah, I'll see you there.
$100 to a hobo.
Oh, okay.
I have not seen any homeless really around.
And this would be a great place to do it.
Yeah.
And hobo seems like a derogatory term for a... I think it's playful.
Yeah, I thought so too.
But I think there was some stipulation, like maybe you have to film it or something like that, or you can't film it.
I forget what my stipulation was.
Brandon working the net over there.
Is Hobo short for something?
What are we doing?
Oh, who has to give the hundred?
All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kyle, you got to give $100 to a homeless person.
He said, oh, fuck no, And then he spit on the ground.
He used a brand new slur I'd never heard before.
Yeah.
What?
Is hobo short for, like, home's a box?
Oh, my God.
What?
It really might be.
Like, home's a boxcar.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Is it?
Maybe.
It really might. It sounds. Yeah. Oh my god, is it? Maybe. It really might. It sounds...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that makes way more sense.
Homeless bohemians.
But, like, why would you even shorten,
why would you even take the Y off of boy?
Just go ho-boy.
I'm fine with that.
It would be like a little ho.
And po-boy sandwiches probably existed.
So a hobo, you know, just eating out of a can.
I wonder how good the shit in the can was.
You think it was, it must have been the worst thing that ever existed.
Yeah.
But they subsided off of it.
Beans in a can.
Would you guys watch a show that was tastefully done of the history of slurs?
Because that was pretty interesting.
Yes, I 100% would.
Because, I mean, the F slur has had one of the craziest histories,
and I think that it's been a slur for almost every group of people.
Has it?
The F slur, I'm pretty sure.
No kidding.
It's gone through lots of different, or maybe not every group of people,
but lots of different groups of people.
I think it's going past, I don't think it's even that much of an anti-gay slur anymore.
Who's it going to now?
Yeah.
No, no.
They get to choose.
After about,
after 40 years,
they get to choose
who it goes to.
Yeah.
Passing it off
to the Albanians.
The do.
You.
I'm a proud...
He throws in the bio.
Who's winning the game?
Who's winning, my boys?
PFT has a nice little pickup game.
He's scooping everything from low.
What's the score?
3-1.
3-1, Brandon and KB.
Kyle comes from a pickleball family.
Does he?
Now you said this course doesn't really bounce.
It's a sport court.
Sport court.
Multi-purpose?
Yeah, it's kind of a crucial needle.
That's too bad.
Brandon's more of a net minder.
You can tell he kind of uses his strength and length when he's up there at the net.
You can tell Kyle's been playing tennis.
Coming off the paddle differently.
It really is popping off the paddle.
But Brandon doesn't really have that bend that you're looking for.
Stephen Trey looks good doing it, but he hasn't made a good play yet.
He swings aesthetically correctly, but it keeps on hitting the net
Brandon's gonna get a migraine isn't it? Oh, yeah, he's fucked
He is absolutely fucking destroyed
Who Kyle?
Who Kyle?
Hey Let the triceps work, Che.
Give us a flex for the cam.
Ah, okay, Che.
I was shooting an ad for New Amsterdam.
Yeah.
And I looked out the window,
and Che was just having a catch with Desmond Ritter.
Really?
Yeah.
I think there has to be a new, I don't know. I feel like I've seen Che having a catch with a lot ofitter. Really? Yeah. I think there has to be a new, I don't know.
I feel like I've seen Che having a catch with a lot of dudes who are professional athletes.
Yeah.
Which is going to give him the transitive property of being a professional athlete in his head.
Like, he'll be like, oh, I caught a ball from a professional athlete, therefore I am a professional athlete.
Yeah.
It's dangerous footing.
Well, I think he caught a pass from Kirk Cousins, and then he was like, listen,
if you need that four times a year, that's what he said. He's promising four NFL catches. Yeah,
that's the Jalen Rager plan. That's production. Jalen Rager's first round pick, first round talent. Che, undrafted. Which is better value. Yes. Which is way better value for Cousins,
probably salary cap wise. That's significantly better. Yes. Which is way better value for Cousins. Probably salary capitalized. That's
significantly better. What are these
boys playing to?
12 o'clock?
I don't know. Is it 12 already?
One more minute.
Well, guys, thank you
for joining us all week.
It's been a very fun week.
There's been good yakking going on, a ton of good
content, and as always we're just going to give it to you fucking raw It's been a very fun week. There's been good yakking going on, a ton of good content.
And as always, we're just going to give it to you fucking raw on some yak shit.
Dude, we're just going to talk about that real shit and fucking get goofy and wet on this bitch.
Except for Nick.
I'm fake as fuck.
Is bone dry.
But you're fake as fuck, but you're bone dry. I'm dry and fake, baby.
My boy is bone dry.
That's the two adjectives.
But ethical.
Ethical.
Definitely ethical.
Thank you guys
for rocking with us
all week.
Thank you to the
production crew
in here.
That's right.
Stefan,
Stanko,
TJ,
everybody back there
busting their ass
all week
fucking
grinding
mercilessly
grinding
to the point of
being pissed off at everybody that they work with.
Thanks to the security squad in here keeping us nice and safe.
What's the biggest meltdown you saw this week?
I mean, I guess the guy driving into the hotel.
Well, one of our employees.
Unless Dave saw that picture and quote tweeted it with hired.
Yeah.
There was a meltdown going on at 2.30 outside of the hotel.
A fucking screaming match.
I don't know what the fuck
was going on
but I was hoping
it was going to be
one of our employees.
It was a black person.
I got real
I got real real drunk
and
I ended up fucking
blackening.
Fuck bro.
You know he's married.
I know.
I know.
We're off camera right?
Oh no. Hot mic's married. I know. I know. We're off camera, right? Oh, no.
Hot Mike Nick again.
Oh, no.
David.
Oh, no, David.
More cushion for the pushing, bro.
I heard that thing pushes back, though.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
It sounded like a cartoon spring going down and up on me.
It sounded like...
I can't do it. A little bit of... cartoon spring going down and up on me. It sounded like...
I can't do it.
A little bit of... It needs to be wetter,
because obviously you had it. Yeah, it was self-lubricated.
You had it as blisky wet as hell.
Alright, that's been the episode.
Thank you so much.
See you guys next week. Back from New York.
Go Birds. The New York O'Byrds. Thank you. See you back in New York.
Bye.