The Yak - Sas Caught the Biggest Fish in History | The Yak 7-24-23
Episode Date: July 24, 202332G...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
The Yak.
Welcome back to another week of The Yak.
Big Cat has moved on to Chicago, but we're going to fucking keep on yakking we're gonna keep on yakking until uh until we can't anymore um i'm here with sass i'm here with
nick i'm here with kb and we got the whole booth back we got uh tj's uh and steven chay's back in
the in the motherfucking building at stanko i I'm not going to forget about Stanko back there for a forgotten hero of the
show,
but it's,
it's,
I'm excited for what this next month is going to be of yak and it's going to
be weird.
It's going to be a little bit different,
but I think it's going to be fun.
I'm going to have to stick with us.
Yeah.
These are changing.
You guys are obviously very checked out.
You guys have nothing to lose.
I'm excited to take sass out
on his last episode get his favorite foods film it with emotional music
uh we gotta play the uh i want over all of our like last episodes the my god is so good
the fucking song the way that they like put the reverb on that and put it in black and white
i wanted to like freeze frame on you guys with like a little blurb of what you went on to do yeah yeah
yeah like we got arrested or died right after or whatever the fuck happened it felt like it's that
song should be like at the like end of a bank heist movie as you're like watching the heist go
down like as like the twist of the movie happens or some shit yeah like the thomas crown affair or
something it just uh such a sweet song it's floating around today i think he had a new one Like, as, like, the twist of the movie happens or some shit. Yeah. Like, the Thomas Crown Affair or something.
It's just such a sweet song.
It's floating around today.
I think he had a new one.
He wants to bust us? A new one meaning, like, the same tune but different words.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine.
We'll –
All songs should sound the same.
We'll run any song segment until it starts to suck.
Well beyond it.
Yeah.
And Blatman?
Looks like he's in Vampire Weekend.
Yeah.
The suburbs.
He's fucking crushing it right now.
You think you guys can...
Oh, of course, of course.
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I'm just hearing A-Punk as Blattman walks by.
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Yeah, it's just us guys.
Just us guys for the time being.
Unless you want to bring in other people, KB.
We could.
I like this foursome.
Let's preserve the sanctity of the foursome.
We have a whole month.
Yeah, you're right.
I have to leave a little after two today.
They're showing my apartment.
It's just all boxes.
That's the fucking worst how's the
are you already packed up to move and shit doing a box a day for the past week so i'm not panicked
are you getting rid of a bunch of shit throwing away 90 of my shit yeah i'm a bit of a i'm not
a sentimental guy um but i have a lot of things yeah you collect uh like or like you have like
cool things to like put on a shelf and like
yeah so they're just like around are you what would help you get rid of your apartment looks
like an i spy book yeah just spotting are you gonna keep that theme going in chicago or try
to do a completely different i've been on male living spaces the subreddit and those boys know
how to do it yeah yeah, theirs looks very put together.
You need to be like a trillionaire.
What are some examples?
Don't be someone you're not, though.
I think the quirks.
No, I would really like to be someone I'm not.
That's actually part of your brand.
What's the Male Living Spaces like?
Is it overcrowded?
It's a black accent wall and four plants.
Yeah?
Yeah.
And then an Eames chair.
Yeah, you've got to get the Eames chair.
I'm looking for another fucking chair other than Eames, but that's neither here nor there.
What do you think would help you get rid of more shit as you're moving out of your apartment?
I don't know.
I think I just accumulate shit as I live there.
It's not that I'm like buying.
I'm not collecting.
I'm just getting shit.
Yeah.
But do you just say, are you going through like Marie Kondo style and being like,
does this give me joy?
Some of the stuff
I just like,
oh, I already filled the box
with things of this sort
and it's missed the cut.
Awesome.
Vintage cereal boxes.
I'm not a weed guy,
but I have a bong
that's a Dragon Ball
from Dragon Ball Z.
It was tough to get rid of,
but it had to go.
Yeah.
To replace that
with your Rick and Morty bong.
Yeah.
That's what I got
from Moresh first. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did you actually with your Rick and Morty bong. Yeah. That's what I got from Moresh first.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Did you actually?
Yeah.
He's got to respect that.
He left it at the bar.
They're hard to come by.
Yeah.
Yeah they are.
There's only like
10 billion left right now.
Yeah.
There's one Rick and Morty bong
out there for every single person
on the planet.
I think yeah.
Every household should have a Rick and Morty bong. There's more Rick and Morty bongs than there for every single person on the planet i think yeah there's more there's more rick and morty bongs than there are people on earth they really overestimate it but glassblowers
are a crazy breed yeah but i found out one i found out how many chickens there are in the
world this weekend oh yeah i don't even want to know let's take a guess. Off the top, $20 billion.
You're very close.
Holy shit.
I was going to say $20 billion, too.
$25 billion.
There's $25 billion chickens.
I knew that going in, but I'm still amazed.
Yeah, that's shocking.
You don't see them.
A billion pigs.
How many chickens does an average person eat a year?
Like, I mean, like, if you order, like, you're talking about whole chickens or parts of one chicken?
I guess whole chickens.
How many pounds of chicken does a person eat a year?
Off the top.
Off the top, Kyle.
Well, I mean, if you buy 12 wings, is that two pounds of chicken, a pound of chicken? Do you think the average person eats a hundred?
Probably more.
A hundred pounds a year?
I mean, I eat chicken every single day.
Every single day of my life.
Multiple times a day.
So much chicken.
Everything I eat is chicken.
Pretty much.
And if there's six billion people in the world, we're eating way more than our fair share of chicken.
If there's 25 billion chickens,
we should be eating 5 chickens a year.
But we're eating hundreds of chickens a year.
Every class is eating chicken.
Yes.
Every race is eating chicken.
Every ethnicity is eating chicken.
It's not like the cow.
A couple billion people are like,
we're not touching the cow. We are fucking dev eating chicken. Right, it's not like the cow. A couple billion people are like, we're not touching the cow.
Like, we are fucking devouring chicken.
Are chickens everywhere, though?
Are there chicken droughts?
There's no idiots eating chicken.
Dude, I read about the...
We'll skip to this later.
Wait, but give us a teaser where it's...
Potato famine.
Oh, yeah?
That shit was nasty.
Nasty, nasty. Oh, you can That shit was nasty. Nasty, nasty.
Oh, you can get right into it.
It's the one thing that I don't make fun of the potato famine.
I didn't know some Ottoman dude said that.
It was a genocide.
It wasn't even a famine.
It was a genocide.
Yeah, it was bad.
That shit was on purpose.
I read some crazy shit this weekend.
Talk to me.
So, in Japan, when a company wants to fire you.
Yeah, this is insane.
They won't fire you
Oh I've heard about this
Because they would have to pay severance
Yeah
You just take your computer
You can't use your phone
And they don't assign you tasks
Yeah
They just wait you out
They bore you out
Yeah
You quit
And most people quit
That's torture though
How long would you last
Especially for the Japanese
Yeah
Who are like
If you stopped coming in though
You'd get fired for like
But then it wouldn't be like a right.
They don't lay you off, I guess.
Wow.
You like yo-yo or something?
Probably not yo-yo, but I mean, how long would that even last?
No, I'm trying to think of anything to keep you.
They fuck with the yo-yo heavy out there.
Yeah.
What is that?
Isn't that like a first name out there?
Yeah.
What is that?
What is the other?
What is the big yo-yo?
Oh, yeah.
What the fuck is that?
That's the big one, but then there's like the tops guys are doing now.
Did you see the guy trying to spin that top on his shoe as a plane was landing?
He did?
Did he land it?
No, no, no.
The plane was landing behind him.
He was trying to make a sick-ass video, and it fucking worked.
That is fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Fucking genius of him.
What book are you reading about the Japanese?
This was just a news thing.
It was like uh probably
reddit honestly yeah but they i feel like the japanese are so prideful about like their work
and like position in uh society assigned tasked it's probably like the biggest insult oh yeah
we're out out here it's like give me that job forever like just i don't have to do anything
and i bet you there's somebody like that could just sit and do nothing.
You probably just meditate pretty hard for, like, eight hours a day.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, you probably would, like, get to another plane.
Yeah.
I've seen some old school oafs, though, that don't even look at their phones.
Yeah.
They're that lazy.
They're content with just slouching.
You're talking about, what do you mean, what kind of oafs?
Like, who have been oafs? Like, who have been
oafs since, like, the 60s.
Like, oafs with money,
or people who are... Nah,
just, like, the fattest, laziest people in the
world won't even look at their phone.
But they have one. Yeah.
And they just won't get on it. Damn, I don't
even know if I've accessed these oafs.
Where do you see them? In the wild? In the subway sometimes.
Oh, yeah. They're not spending their time, like, on their phone. People just I don't even know if I've accessed these Oafs. Where do you see them? In the subway sometimes.
They're not spending their time on their phone.
People just sitting in the subway doing nothing.
I feel like I've been on my phone a lot less lately.
It's because all the apps suck now.
The only thing I go on now is Reddit.
Reddit's my favorite. It drives me insane.
I can't wait to get on X.
Yeah.
X is going to suck so much dick.
What are they changing? I'm out of the loop.
It's the name.
Website, the color scheme, and the logo.
Dude, I only went to Twitter to see
that cute... He bought Twitter for probably
the name of Twitter, and now he's changing it.
You could have just started X.
Yeah, 100%. He had X.com.
Wasn't X... Didn't that used to be PayPal or something
like that? X.com?
It's so weird.
And I can't believe, I mean, I feel like we might have talked about this before,
but, like, I just can't believe that he is doing so much to ruin Twitter
and there's, like, a massive part of the world that's, like, praising him,
being like, thank God Elon's fucking doing this to save free speech or whatever.
Like, he's considering, like, the.05 percent activists that felt like they were getting silenced and completely kiboshing
the 99.95 percent of everybody else who could have been enjoying it i think i think he's just
i think he's just doing as much as he possibly can to see what he can get away with that like his
like cult supporters will will still be like,
we fucking love you and this is the right move.
Is he rich enough for this to completely fail?
100%.
I think people need a text-based social app.
I agree with that.
There's nothing else that can do it.
The algorithm is what made it such a present thing
that you could enjoy.
We haven't seen this new algorithm during fucking football season.
This shit's going to be weird.
It's going to be a different way of interfacing on the app,
where you don't have the communal way of seeing what everybody's doing
because they're bumping John Krassenstein or some shit like that,
some just random-ass dude.
Since people are getting paid for interactions,
they're just
asking very base level
questions.
Oh yeah.
It's the whole the
whole app's insane.
Yeah.
It's just people be
out there baiting for
interaction.
They're sharing that
photo of the gigantic
woman on the airplane.
What are you doing if
you're that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who took that picture
though.
Did she have a
photographer come with
her because the lighting
is perfect.
Did she buy the like
airplane set?
We should start taking photos that people can share on Twitter for interaction money,
and they'll buy them from us.
What kind of photos are we thinking?
Just like...
Chain the bubble?
There's a hair kind of next to their plate, and just like, are you returning this to the waiter?
That would go nuts.
Yeah.
Or just like the most offensive pube sticking out like a curly Q of a pig's tail.
Are you returning this?
Are you guys?
Yeah, it's like every other day
a new account just spawns in.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, you're good.
Do you guys fuck with threads as a text base?
Never even looked at it.
Never even looked at it.
Went for the first day of it.
I just follow Riggs.
Does he post a lot?
He doesn't look at it.
He just follows.
Yeah.
What's your thoughts on it, Che?
I mean, it's the same thing as Twitter.
It's just it's a little bit harder with the tweet video and stuff like that and stuff
that we would commonly use, I feel like.
And I don't know.
I feel like it'd be tough to extract this company from Twitter because we are essentially
based on Twitter.
Kyle said we need a text-based social app.
We need it.
We're already addicted.
Every single tweet has a photo with it.
It's not text-based.
Every single tweet is either a video or a photo.
Hardly any tweets are just text-based.
Yeah.
I guess.
But I think that there's nostalgia for that.
People want to see something
Like some type of well written shit
But I think you might just see that on like TikTok
Of like just someone making a smirk
With the text over their face or something like that
I don't think Twitter's going anywhere
No?
No
No, everybody's already like established
I would
I have no desire to start something new
No, not at all
I didn't even consider getting threads That was never even a thought in my head I poached on your name, I have no desire to start something new. No, not at all. I didn't even consider getting threads.
That was never even a thought in my head.
I poached on your name.
I have it.
It's not even the algorithm and stuff that pisses me off.
It's just that everyone, people, the amount of anger on social media,
that people fucking hate each other for no reason.
If you take a break from Twitter and go back, you'll see how aggressively mean everyone is.
It's like if you, like, just walk outside for five minutes, like, this is not what the world is like.
It's, like, a very small percentage of people who live on Twitter.
And, dude, the comments on Instagram are insane.
I don't look at those.
Dude, I saw, like, you just get sucked into the reels.
Like, you'll just be on your regular feed, and then also next thing you know, you've been on reels for an hour.
I've been commenting more.
That's been a, I've, like, intentionally.
Oh, yeah.
What you saying, homies?
Positive things.
Jake Bass, who we work with, posted.
Yeah.
And I was like, thank you.
Yeah, that's a good one.
He's wildly stylish, so it's, like, easy to compliment.
That type of guy's easy to compliment.
Pretty jack, too. he's wildly stylish so it's like easy to call you've got type of guys easy to pretty jack too you know i saw i saw an instagram reel of a girl like doing just like her like get ready with me
or like like my morning routine and she's like making breakfast for her husband before work or
some shit like that and then like the top comment was just like fucking gen z losers like just
posting videos of absolutely fucking nothing.
Get a life.
And then I clicked on it.
It was a girl that commented that
which I was like,
that's kind of crazy
because usually it's like
an incel dude that comments that.
And then I clicked on the girl's profile
and she's like a white girl
with like dreadlocks
and her bio is like
peace and love,
like spread positivity.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm like,
you guys are fucking nuts.
Damn.
Are white girls
taking over incel culture?
I think.
That's also a big trend now.
It's like when, like, what is that one account that we always make fun of on Twitter?
The big ones.
No, the one that posts.
Daily Loud.
Daily Loud.
Now they're just posting pictures of, like, hot celebrities.
And all, like, the OnlyFans girls will comment and be like, mid is, like, ugly as shit.
Oh, there's, like, 15.
I'm way hotter.
Biggest 18-year-old.
It's got to just be one.
Well, the thick is odd.
Did you see that runway model?
What did you think?
Did you beat it up today?
We're going crazy for her.
The milkman is saying it's...
She reminds me...
You guys know Coco?
You guys know Ice-T?
Yeah, yeah, Coco.
She reminds me of young Coco.
Coco, she's like old school, or like, you know, I don't want to call her old, but she's married to Ice-T, so she's probably on the older side.
She was a pioneer.
But she's, yeah, she was a pioneer.
Tall glass of milk.
Thick, whole, Something thicker than whole.
She's half and half.
She's fucking...
Cream.
Yeah, she's heavy whipping.
She's not playing around.
But this new one,
I don't understand why they didn't put those people
on the runway in the first place.
Right?
I feel like for the 90s to...
Even now, they're putting gaunt,
fucking bad posture weirdos with sunken eyes on the Balenciaga shows and shit like that.
It's like, why was it not her from the beginning?
Zaza's head's about to turn into a train whistle when he sees this.
$13 for OnlyFans?
I almost did it.
$13?
I almost did it.
13 months?
Yeah, I've got a rule.
No, $13.
Oh, $13.
What's your rule?
I've got a rule. $9 or below. Oh, 13 bucks. What's your rule? I've got a rule.
Nine bucks or below.
Nine bucks below gets it instantly.
Anything above nine.
He's a rule breaker.
Hear me out.
What if you saw one that was like 100 bucks?
Aren't you curious what's behind those doors?
Absolutely fuck no.
What if you held off?
Could you save up the nine bucks?
What if you held off on one subscription and then you used that use that and you're like all right now i have 18 dollars to
spend there's just way too much free shit out there there's way too many beautiful women out
there for you so you think you got girls at the nine dollar price point that you think are better
than this girl at 13 supporting small businesses so did you choose nine dollars because it's like
still in the single digits is like a psychological thing thing? Or did you do a research study?
No, exactly.
$7 to $9 is the best.
Single digits.
Okay.
So there's obviously many, many women making –
they're wealthy due to OnlyFans.
But what is the percentage that are making no money?
It can't be – I bet everybody's making money.
That's kind of sad.
I don't think anyone's making money.
That's sad to be like someone making,
because there's so many.
There has to be a lot making not even like a worth it amount.
There's got to be like 30 people who are making a lot of money.
I'm thinking there are millions on there
that are making like 20 a month.
You don't have to pay to join.
There's no overhead.
Yeah, but I feel like if you do the –
I mean, if you have any sort of, like, promoting skills,
I feel like it's got to be pretty easy to rack in, like,
$1,000 a month.
I mean, all you got to do is go on these daily loud
and just go in the comments and be like, here's my pussy.
You think every single one, there's millions of users are making –
Those are actually, like –
Hundreds a month.
If you see a chick and you're not too into her and it's like two bucks.
Yeah.
Yep, I'll do it.
So here's the thing.
So my thing is the rebuild.
So I probably have...
I have at any one moment in time, I have between 10 to 20 active accounts.
However, the rebuild ones, the constant there's i have two right now oh
you have two constants but you have 18 you can't quit that so you can't quit those two yeah yeah
the one girl uh victoria ray so victoria ray amateur girl i believe she's out in uh california
she just actually just got a new apartment she just got a new apartment she's out in california
thanks to you so you you like keep up with their day-to-day.
I've been watching her for three years.
You claim squatters' rights on her apartment.
So what, in the middle of when she's fingering her pussy,
she's like, by the way, guys, I just moved into a new apartment?
I probably noticed the back of it.
It's lighting on her fucking lip circuit right here.
I've been seeing the same set for two years. I don't remember floor-to-ceiling windows.
Why do they all have the middle name of Ray,
like nuns that were called Mary in the 50s and shit like that?
They're all Ray, something Ray.
And then who's the other one?
Victoria, and right now there's this one girl, Christy.
Christy, she's part of this clique that does a fucking gangbang thing.
They were just in Miami.
They were called the Hot Wives.
They're on a tour. Do you love her?
Somewhat.
Do you feel a sense of intimacy
and that's making you beat
off harder and coming harder?
Victoria was COVID.
So you've been with her for the long haul.
Yep.
And she's at $9 a month?
So $9 over, what are we like, 30-some months in?
Three years.
Three years, 36 months in.
So you're like $3,300 in on her.
That's, yeah.
So that's like a month of rent.
She's a Spotify.
Not including the specials.
She's dropped about like three or four specials.
Specials?
It's like fully loaded.
She has a roving pack of bras that she goes city to city with.
Guys, I've been working on this material for over a year now.
I'm not ready for my special.
I want to go four or five years before I do a special.
Her first one, she wasn't ready for it.
It wasn't ironed out.
That's fucking sick.
I feel like
Glennie gets so much credit for his knowledge
of the game, but why can't you
be on his show as
a consultant? I don't do mainstream, though.
That's what's helpful, I think.
You're an alt-comic type of thing.
Actually, one of the girls
he brought in, I discovered her from... The first time I saw it was it was only fans uh kaylee she's now
big time she went viral she's she's a big point star i wish you could go they're like a they're
like a discover page on only fan i wish you could find more girls by new or some shit yeah can you
filter reddit okay reddit but like that that's i feel like if you like the girl who just signed
up today she's just like
dipping her toe doesn't know how to market herself because these girls going on Twitter
these girls going on Reddit they have a knowledge of where to put themselves.
Yeah.
They can like put the hook in guys like there's got to be fucking idiots who are just like
oh like I just show pussy like I can be good and like it doesn't work for them.
Yeah.
Gross idiots too probably.
Why don't we do a segment where Zah has to find
like a top 90% only.
Everybody's in the 1%.
You have to follow
a top 90%.
They all probably lie.
It says it, I think,
on the account, on the page.
Does it say like their percentage?
Or is that just a lie too?
You put it yourself
in the description.
There's no follow account
on there from what I...
Yeah, there's no follow account.
Zah, have you ever thought
about maybe starting a course
For these girls that are in the top 90%
Maybe like promotion
I'm just there to watch
I'm just there to watch
Yeah he's not trying to get business in his pleasure
Are you more attached because you're paying
Rather than watching free porn
No so
It's the amateur aspect
I think now they're overdoing it
With the studios and all that nonsense
I just put a camera up
Right
Simple as that
No fancy lighting
No nothing
Yeah you don't want to see any 4K pussy
Heavens no
You want to see 480p max
Shot from above Yeah You that security camera pussy that's the way damn what a fucking uh
what a crazy time for people to be i mean we went through a phase in this office when a lot of people
were doing it and to be honest it seems like most people return to regular life seamlessly
really i thought they were all still doing it are Are they? I don't know. That's what I've always assumed that.
Are they still doing it?
Sorry, Stephen Jay was
asking me what OnlyFans was.
No, he wasn't.
On the mic.
You don't know?
No, I know what it is,
but is it only porn?
I was saying it's just a paywall.
I think it's like Patreon.
They did an ad a while ago
and it caused...
People were furious in the OnlyFans community
because they made a post and they were like...
They did a whole commercial and they were like,
it's for podcasting and magicians
to post.
And they just never mentioned that it's porn.
Remember when we were...
Our company was trying to get big on OnlyFans?
Yeah, oh yeah.
The meetings were like
OnlyFans specific.
I wonder if we have
any emails about that.
Of like Gaz sending
old emails.
We definitely do.
Being like,
we need a ton of
avoidant on OnlyFans.
Getting our report card
and our OnlyFans score
is an F.
Yeah.
One post.
One post on OnlyFans?
No tips?
I got my cheeks clapped,
Gaz. I got fucked,
Gaz. I fucked Rone.
What more do you want?
How many times do you want me to fuck him?
Now the production value
was too good. You need to get back
to basics when you fuck your co-host.
You sold sass-fucking Rone
to talkies?
I saw a girl who was like, dudes love big dicks too, because whenever I suck a small dick on my OnlyFans, the dudes are in the comments pissed as hell.
I kind of, that makes sense.
You ain't packing meat.
Because then it's too real.
Dude, I always comment when the it's too real. Dude, I always comment
when the cock's too small.
Yeah, that's actually
the only time I'm like,
eat this.
Bitch.
This is not even impressive.
Anyone could do
what you're doing right now.
There's no country
for small cocks, dude.
It's brutal.
Anyone could suck off that cock.
Yeah.
Or try and act like you're talented for
sucking off a tiny dick yeah bitch in your mouth just like a regular mouthful of food
just like the tip of a fork i'm paying for this it is there is a whole genre of dudes who are like
i need to see her get fucked by like a black dude like that's like a big like be like uh blacked right that's
not like a whole show that's a whole porno i've never heard of that man blacked yes you have
you're one of those guys you know the plug was uh it was like they were advertising that as her
first interracial scene yeah but why is this like a popular thing where dudes are like it's like
i don't know i guess it's like a fetish yeah Yeah, I wonder why. Reverse racism.
Reverse racism, yeah.
You're so not racist. We're just regular racists.
I hate this guy.
I hate this guy.
I want to see him orgasm.
Yeah.
I want to see him climax.
Yeah, I don't know.
That shit had to have been around in fucking slavery times.
There's definitely due to her,
it's got to be a tale as old as time.
Yeah.
As soon as there was a divide,
it's like taboo or some shit like that.
I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
No idea.
I truly don't know.
But they've been dividing,
they've been dividing folks since fucking Hammurabi, dude.
Yeah.
The whole world went blind. Yeah, they were doing fucking crazy since fucking Hammurabi, dude. Yeah. The whole world went blind.
Yeah, they were doing fucking crazy shit during Hammurabi.
You guys see the Dozen Grid?
Uh-uh.
That Jeff D. Lowe unveiled?
Yeah, I want an O for it.
Daily Dozen Grid.
Uh-uh.
Yeah.
We have that whole database of Dozen questions that have been written and it's doing nothing.
Yeah, it's going nothing. So Jeff and company put out a daily grid like the baseball one, but it's dozen questions.
Pretty sick.
Oh, that is cool.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Is this going to replace Sporkle?
That's fucking sick.
Yeah.
So good on D-Lo for that.
Dude, they look like they were having so much fun down the shore.
KB, I know you were having a little bit of nostalgic fun.
I did.
I felt like I would have loved to be there.
You would have.
KB, are you still doing the Zins?
No.
You're off that?
I am.
You are?
Yeah.
I got a...
It was just like a boredom thing.
You did it for a while, though.
Yeah, for two years.
I got some of those, the rogues.
Have you ever done those?
I used to love those.
Fuck your gums up.
I'm glad that's what it is.
Are you keeping your vape in your shoe right now?
I always do that.
I'm trying to stop vaping, and I got those rogues.
And my gums are... i did it for a day
my gum yeah but i like the flavor a lot more than the flavor is so more intense it's way better the
peppermint's great also wasn't giving me a stomach i don't want to do it like lucy kyle
lucy's great yeah i do like it i like it for a minute and then it makes me sick so like so the
zins don't fuck your gums up like that no okay
i gotta get the zins then there's the the road you're like i have like i have like calluses on
my fucking gums right yeah rogues using it for one day fuck now i missed rogue do you have any
they're good as fuck i i had i had one in for like eight hours the other day oh my god you just
forget that they're in they're good no wonder your fucking gum is got eight hours it hurts so it hurts so much my whole
mouth is fucked up right now i think there's plexiglass in the pouches so it cuts your
lip and the nicotine gets to your i thought that was just in regular like uh like pout
like tobacco tobacco pouches yeah i don't know i didn't know that was in no something's
up with the rogue that's good to know I texted my buddy
Because he uses them
And he was like
You just gotta get used to that
Yeah I wouldn't get
I was like
I'm not gonna get used to that
I'm not gonna get used to my mouth
Just being in pain
Constantly
Well yeah
You can
I don't want to
Why not
I'd rather just
But the zins
I don't like the flavors
They're gross
Kyle I can't believe
That your strong ass mind
Was just so susceptible
To the power of suggestion
Like that Do you have one I'll have one Yeah He half mentioned it I realize you can't believe that your strong-ass mind was just so susceptible to the power of suggestion like that.
Do you have one? I'll have one.
Yeah.
He half-naked you.
I realize you can't go full disciplined.
It's just not fun.
You feel like a robot.
So when I, like, do drink—
You can't trust someone that doesn't have a vice type of thing.
Right.
You need to every once—you just have to master moderation.
Yeah, just balance.
You gotta find that balance.
We all got drinks Friday.
I was getting wasted.
This is so good. Oh, my God. I could do this every—oh, my God. This is so good. Yeah, just balance. You gotta find that balance. We all got drinks Friday. I was getting wasted. This is so good.
Oh my God.
I could do this every day.
Oh my God, this is so good.
Yeah, that's the problem.
I got that problem too.
Yeah, as soon as I started
I was like, this is...
You're three drinks in
and I'm just like,
oh, this is...
I wanna feel like this 24-7.
Yeah.
It's so good.
Drinking with...
So fun.
Going out and drinking
is the best.
Talk about it.
Woo!
I didn't drink at all
this weekend.
Oh, I drank a lot. A one i drank a one not a double header and
i fucking hurt my back so bad how i'm drinking well it's from lifting and i try to go out
with it part of your back my lower oh it's like spreading into my ass oh no that's sciatic bro
yeah it's definitely a nerve thing oh no it's. That's not good. Bro, get that form right.
Fucking lower. Oh, no.
My form has been terrible.
I've been trying to be a hero lifting so much.
I'm so afraid for you if you can't go to the gym anymore.
Yeah.
Still did.
Don't power through it.
Get a stretching routine.
I know.
Yeah, I'm going to be smart.
It was a good wake-up call.
That's just a good wake-up call.
That shit happens when you hit 30, bro.
That shit fucking happens like a light switch.
It sucks. It's so depressing.
You're also just in the gym heavy.
You're bound to get hurt at some point.
If I lose that,
I'll... Jay never got hurt.
What would you become if you didn't have the gym?
Either gay or
homophobic. I don't know. I went too
far in.
I don't have anything else left.
Getting into shows and movies.
There you go.
There's plenty of other shit.
There's a lot of good shows.
You think so?
I haven't seen so many that I'm fine until 40 on series.
Yeah, there's a lot of good ones out there.
Too many.
I watched some movies.
I started Mayor of Easttown.
Great.
Oh, yeah, I've heard that that's really good.
The accents, how accurate are the accents?
Oh, yeah.
Very good.
Because they're laid on a little thick?
No, I think they're very good.
It's amazing how Kate Winslet can just...
She's transformative.
She's British, right?
Yeah.
But I think that they really
wrote that show
to let the accent shine.
It felt real to me
even though I've never
even lived in Philly.
It is.
It's extremely real.
It's extremely
spot on
of like a Drexel Hill
existence.
Yeah, that show
is fucking great.
It's hard to watch
like...
Do you think that you could... That only has one watch. Do you think that only has one season?
Do you think you could launch into something that had eight seasons, like a classic?
Yeah, I want to do that with The Wire, I think, next.
Because I think I could handle that.
I like a good miniseries because I like to power through it in two days.
And be like, I want to know everything that happens now.
Yeah, I've never seen Breaking Bad or all of the Sopranos.
That's a good position to be in.
I don't think I ever will.
Breaking Bad's worth it, I would say.
I haven't seen Sopranos, I haven't seen The Wire.
I haven't seen Sopranos or The Wire.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if I can right now.
I tried to get into Ozark.
That's what I mean.
But it's like, I watched the first three episodes and I was like, this is good.
But then I was like,
shit,
there's like hours
and hours left
of me watching this.
And then I just
never watched it again.
I watched Dexter.
I started that
from the beginning.
Yeah.
But then I'd stopped it
before it ended
because I didn't want to
watch the shitty ending.
I was prepared to be in
for the long haul
on the weekend show.
I was like,
okay,
I'm ground level here.
Did you finish it?
Yeah, there was five of us.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was great.
I watched them all live.
Like, I caught them all as they came out.
That was going to be there for fucking ever.
And some of the shows are, like, so interwoven.
Like, I feel like Entourage, you could, like,
pop in for an episode.
It's like, okay, you get the gist.
You're going on a caper right now.
Everything is so reliant on you having seen's like, okay, you get the gist. You're going on a caper right now. Everything is so reliant on you having seen the entire series
that it's hard to even dive fully into some shit like that.
American Horror Story is fun.
You can just pop on most of those seasons from the beginning
and just watch one season.
Except there's like two seasons where you can't do that.
South Park became that.
Like, it used to be you could watch any episode of South Park and then it became episodic.
Yeah.
Which is probably easier to write.
Probably, yeah.
That's kind of always Sunny really became that.
Where you have to watch previous ones?
I mean, if you show someone like most episodes of like the last like four seasons of Always Sunny and they haven't seen it before they would be like what the fuck is going on yeah there's so many like inside like
all like the character development and stuff sunny went really really slowly into like the characters
being bad and yeah yeah awesome completely weird yeah it almost started off grounded in reality
yeah it did yeah if you show if you show someone like oh this is the scene where dennis fucking
freaks out and becomes a psychopath,
they'd be like, why is that happening?
But that's only funny if you know
the early seasons of Dennis
and the development into that.
True.
It's amazing to me that so many people hate shows.
They're so good.
Even the ones that aren't even for me,
I know they're good. Yeah, hate is like... People are very good at what they're so good even the ones that i don't even aren't even for me i know they're good
yeah hate is like people are very good at what they're doing right now with television there's
so many shows i nope you're not forced to watch it right so it's such a lazy waste of emotion to
hate like a show like you disengage from the show and it will probably go away almost it will definitely go away
at some point there are some that are uh you can't avoid like i have never seen succession
and like coming in here and everybody was talking about it a little left out made me hate the show
did you you hated it i didn't hate it i've never seen it i don't know che you hated oppenheimer
oh yeah i didn't hate it i really disliked the last like hour 15 it was so? I didn't hate it. I really disliked the last hour 15.
It was so long. I didn't know
I was signing up for like
people are saying it's not a courtroom case, but
essentially like the final two
courtroom cases
like the kangaroo court and then the
There was nudity though, right?
There was. There were some boobs. The guy just
fucked other dudes wives. What an asshole.
Did you get hard? Oh, he also made the nuclear bomb.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
This guy was a philanderer.
Yeah, but no, you don't get it.
He ruined people's lives.
At least they lived.
Yeah, I mean, it weren't turned into an outline.
I thought it was a very interesting story for about two hours.
And then the last hour, I thought it was pretty bad. I haven't seen it yet. Yeah. I want to see it. I thought Chief had a review interesting story for about two hours. And then the last hour I thought was pretty bad.
I haven't seen it yet.
Yeah.
I want to see it.
I thought Chief had a review that was pretty spot on that was like it was two movies mashed into one.
Would you guys rather have been in Nagasaki, Pompeii, or the submarine?
Ooh, that's a really good question.
Probably submarine because it was so fast.
Pompeii, at least, you're kind of being a part of history nagasaki didn't you just blow up
yeah and then those guys don't like impact a lot of people got cancer but i think i'd rather be
like the dude the bomb lands on top of you yeah it crushes your head yeah Yeah. You die from the weight of the bomb.
The explosion.
Yeah.
I'd rather that happen than be one of those people that lives like 20 years and then you die.
You think so?
Yeah.
You wouldn't rather have the 20 years?
I think some people might have escaped from Pompeii.
And it's probably a devastating 20 years.
I think Pliny the younger watched it.
Pliny the younger.
There was Pliny the elder and I think it was Pliny the younger that was out there just fucking
watching it from a hill. You see that
tweet of that girl that was like
she was like this movie is like so
insensitive blah blah blah.
A lot of people don't know they dropped test
bombs in New Mexico
and like hundreds of people died from cancer.
Then this dude that I follow, he quote tweeted and he's like, wait until you find out what happened to the other two bombs.
There's some funny shit going on on Twitter.
There is. I see it.
That was the only funny tweet I've seen in a week and I've been telling it to everyone.
Yeah, the fact that you brought it like good news from the West.
He turned it to Dr.
Farnsworth from...
So it cracked a joke.
Let's see if I recall.
I watched Jarhead,
which I've already seen,
and I watched the...
No, not The Shining. I watched Sinister,
which I've already seen. I watched both of those yesterday.
Sinister is a fucking scary ass movie.
And you're living alone, dude?
Were you jumping up at every sound in your apartment?
I was closing my eyes for a good bit of it.
You closed your eyes?
You're an adult now.
I do the pillow.
Stop that.
I closed my eyes.
I could see you like, oh, I was doing that big time.
Yeah, like this.
You can kind of see through the cracks.
I would love to see you from the street level,
like with your blanket up next to your face,
closing your eyes.
I love horror.
I watch a lot of horror movies.
Oh, I can't.
I love them.
I don't hate.
I just have nightmares.
They're so good.
You see It Follows?
Yeah, that movie's awesome.
It's a good one.
That spooked me.
I didn't think that movie was good.
You didn't?
No.
I thought it was good,
but then you like,
I was talking about this with Owen like, Owen the other day,
and I was saying that I feel like every time that I look up, like, an explanation of a movie,
it, like, ruins the movie because then you find out that movie is about, like, it's about, like, abuse or some shit.
Yeah, like, the Babadook was, like, postpartum depression. Yeah.
Well, that just changed the entire movie.
I just wanted a big scary guy in a suit.
Yeah.
I thought it was just scary. Yeah. I, that just changed the entire movie. I just wanted a big scary guy in a suit. Yeah.
I thought it was just scary.
Yeah.
I didn't know that it was about fucking sexual abuse.
You guys ever watch movies specifically to get nightmares?
Fuck.
What?
Absolutely not.
And I think if you do do that, you should be checked in somewhere.
What are you talking about?
Well, no.
I mean, how often?
Nobody feels like having a nightmare.
Yeah.
What?
I want to be woken up in the middle of my restful sleep horrified.
That's such a shitty part of life is that nightmares exist.
I mean they exist but like how often are you getting nightmares in your daily life?
I had a nightmare recently for the first time in a while.
Grave a nightmare?
Well once in a while it's nice to feel something other than like you know you got to have some
sour to realize how good you got it.
But I think that's the whole point of like watching a horror movie.
I don't want that to then affect my
after the movie ends.
I know the horror movie's not real.
I think it's actually happening to me.
And you can also have good dreams.
I had a dream last night that I was
a football player playing football
in a fucking game.
Wouldn't you much rather that than
something be really spooky?
I have great dreams all the time.
I know.
There's no doubt in my mind you have, like, a fucking.
You must have the best dreams.
The conveyor belt of just, like, flying, coming, and, like, smelling roses.
I mean, yeah.
I have some good dreams.
But it's nice to have, like, a bad dream once in a while.
No, it's not.
Oh, it's not.
I had a bad dream the other day.
Woke up at 3 a.m.
Horrified.
Fell back asleep. Woke up at 3am Horrified Fell back asleep Woke up at 5
I have this weird thing
It actually brought me back to my childhood
I had this weird thought process in my head
That nothing bad could happen to me after 4am
So once the clock struck 5
I was like alright it's the morning
I'm not scared anymore
4am is the worst
Rita 4
Just for a change of scenery I stay at the Hotel Chelsea Yeah, 4 a.m. is the worst. I got a hotel this weekend. Read a 4. Read a 4 is bad.
Just for like a change of scenery.
I stay at the Hotel Chelsea.
That's rich in history.
That's where Arthur C. Clarke wrote 2001 A Space Odyssey.
So I got a room there and I watched 2001 A Space Odyssey there.
Oh, that's fun.
So sick.
Horrible nightmares all night.
I think it was just a change of bed. Is that movie, it all takes place in outer space?
No, it starts off like at the beginning of man.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What the hell?
That hotel's also where Sid Vicious killed Nancy.
Oh, shit.
Damn, so it's historic as hell.
Can you go to these actual rooms?
I don't know.
I was just there for one night.
I ate there and watched the movie.
How was the food?
It was Spanish.
I had paella.
Oh.
No, I didn't.
I had sausage. Oh, fuck sausage oh fuck sorry oh how was
damn it drake did we talked about mentally i'm still there you went to drake last night oh yeah
oh shit i like what drake likes i couldn't know that you didn't realize that you had that shirt
on i couldn't uh like put myself up to buy that shirt.
I couldn't convince myself.
Worst shirt of all time.
How much was it?
10 bucks from a scalper?
I was like, no, this was 50 bucks.
This is actual drink. In the stadium.
I think the back of it just has a silhouette of him golfing or something.
That's so nuts.
Did he stop the show for you and make everybody hug a stranger?
Oh, no.
Come on.
He did a church stop.
Yeah. This dude turned around. He was like, Come on. He did a church stop. Yeah.
This dude turned around.
He was like, come here.
I was like, man, I hugged this guy I didn't know.
We were the only white people in our section, though.
So it felt great getting dapped up by a bunch of black bros.
It was fucking incredible.
I'd love to see that on OnlyFans.
Getting dapped up.
Dapped.
Dapped.
Gotta see you on Dapped.
But at MSG, I know you were just dapping white bros.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it white heavy?
Yeah.
I was 21.
Did he hold up his end?
I don't like either.
He had like a giant sperm cell drone.
Saw footage of that.
I can't believe it.
That guy's a nut.
Then he was just like, let's turn it into the club.
I'm not going to sing.
I'm just going to sip some tequila.
Let's all dance.
Yeah, he did that.
That makes so much sense.
He's going to sip some tequila.
Drake is so fucking funny.
He's the man.
I love him so much.
Do you see what he found?
He has that big sperm cell. Yeah. This shit was awesome. He's the man. I love him so much. Do you see when he found the... He has that big sperm
cell. Yeah.
This shit was awesome.
And then the whole stage is sperm.
Did you see the video of him catching the girl's bra?
And he's like, 32G,
find this woman immediately.
I decided to quit vaping because
I saw that video of him talking shit on vaping.
What was the show I was at?
What was that place called?
Barclays.
What is it?
Barclays.
Barclays?
Yeah.
He's like, y'all are not trying to get me to vape at the Barclays.
He's like, I am not.
That's why you went out and bought some Rogues.
Instantly, right away.
I saw that video on Twitter.
Went right to the fucking bodega.
At the end of the concert, did he thank everybody there for having a job?
No.
That was weird.
He's like, I'm thankful you guys all have jobs.
That sounds like he improvised that one.
That was in Manhattan only.
I mean, probably a large percentage don't.
Before I go, he was standing under that guy that threw the paper airplane.
He's like, I want to thank you all for having jobs
Virgil Abloh
Louis CK has such a funny bit
When he did live at MSG
And he's talking about homeless people
And he's like
Homeless people they're not even allowed in other places
And other peoples
You wouldn't be allowed in here if you were homeless
If you don't have your own home
Even if you have a ticket you're not allowed in here if you were homeless. If you don't have your own home, even if you have a ticket, you're not
allowed in here.
And it was kind of true.
There's definitely no homeless people in there.
There was a homeless guy on my flight once. Really?
No.
Dude, I had a hilarious...
Before 9-11, they were getting on flights.
They'd just live at the airport. There was a fucking homeless guy
on my flight.
In Austin, there was a lot of homeless dudes outside the airport.
LaGuardia has a lot of homeless people.
LaGuardia's the greatest airport in the world.
It's great now.
You take it for granted, and then you go to other airports, and you're like, oh my god.
This sucks.
Where were you this weekend?
I was in Atlanta.
You got some mileage out of that Eagles shirt.
I know. People were pissing me. People were really mad at me. I don't know why. You got some mileage out of that Eagles shirt. I know.
People were pissing me.
People were really mad at me.
I don't know why.
I don't know why people give a fuck.
Yeah.
It's because they noticed.
People just get mad at me for no reason.
I was wearing the shirt fishing because I knew it was dirty.
And I didn't want to wear one of the clean shirts that I had and get that dirty.
And then I'm happy I wore it because I fucking fell into the water.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
Bad.
That's why it was covered in mud.
Have you caught a fish yet?
I caught a fish this weekend.
I caught two.
You have a photo?
I caught two.
Yes, I posted on my Instagram story.
I didn't see.
It was tiny.
It was this big.
Oh, yeah.
And then I caught another one one minute later, and I'm pretty sure it was the exact same
fish.
The dumbest fish ever.
Yeah.
It was awesome, though.
Dude, I went swimming this weekend in the Atlantic Ocean in Montauk
and there was just stripers that were like this big.
Saw them?
Dude, my buddy caught a king salmon in Alaska.
What's a king salmon?
He said it was the most horrifying experience because he was guiding.
My buddy that's a guide in Alaska.
Is it Bo? Yeah, Bo. It's always Bo. You don't have to say my name. horrifying experience because he was guiding because he's my buddy that's a guide in alaska and one of the he didn't catch it bow yeah bow one of the one of the guests hooked a king salmon like a 35 inch king salmon and he said that they're like he saw it jumping and he thought
it was just like a big rainbow trout and he got he got up to it and then all of a sudden a fish
like this big just flies by his legs and And he said like his heart like sank.
I was scared to like swim.
Yeah.
These just massive fish.
You just don't think that you're among them.
Sure enough, you are among them.
Crazy.
Dude, I had so much fucking seafood.
I fucking love seafood.
Fish?
More fish?
I just have been.
More fish this weekend?
Yes.
You FaceTimed me late on Saturday.
Oh, no.
You don't get like a lobster roll or anything like that ever? I got some scallops. more fish this weekend? Yes, so much. You FaceTimed me late on Saturday. Oh, no.
You don't get like a lobster roll or anything like that ever?
I got some scallops.
Scallops are great.
Oh, my God.
I'll get a lobster roll.
Was it your anniversary this weekend?
It was.
Happy anniversary.
Yeah, happy.
Thank you so much, brother.
You called me on your anniversary.
My anniversary was on Sunday.
Did I call you on Sunday?
Yeah, it was like 1 a.m.
Clock struck midnight,
and you're like,
we got to call Sass.
Did I? It's our special day, babe. The clock struck midnight, and you're like, we got to call Sass. Did I?
It's our special day, babe.
Let's call Harry.
Yeah, you called me late.
Was I with anybody?
I didn't answer.
Oh, I think it must have been a pocket dial then.
I don't think I intentionally.
Pocket FaceTime?
Maybe I wasn't trying to intentionally.
Oh, because I was with Gaz, so maybe that's why.
Oh, okay.
Oh, negotiation.
You were going to negotiate everything.
Yeah, I was like,
I got Gaz in a vulnerable position.
Let's fucking,
let's pounce right now.
Yeah, no, I was,
I was still at the club,
the comedy club.
Gaz is,
he's no longer in charge of everything.
I've heard.
And so now KFC is the GM of comedy,
which means that like,
does that mean you negotiate with KFC?
I have no idea.
I never negotiated with Gaz.
Oh, you didn't?
No, I would negotiate with like Erica, I think.
Negotiation means there's back and forth.
It was more of a monologue by them on why you didn't deserve.
I never asked.
I never asked Gaz.
It's like a soliloquy.
But the Yak is under Barstool comedy, though.
Mm-hmm.
So does that mean that, so KFC is the GM of the yak?
Yeah.
Is that your back?
Yeah, I can't lift that.
You've got to go to the doctor.
Except my leg.
You can't lift your leg?
Like this.
You think it's sciatica?
100%. Go on. I don't want to think about your leg like this. You think it's sciatica?
100%. Go on.
I don't want to think about it.
Dwell on this.
No, it's, I mean, bro, first off.
What happened?
Get on your sits bones and fucking stop.
You're leaning onto your sacrum right now.
Yeah, you said.
You're curling your spine right now, so you're sitting underneath, which is exacerbating this nerve pain.
You can still hit arms, though.
I know. That's what I've been doing.
Where do you sit on your ass? What?
Engage your core, for sure.
Yeah? I don't think you can.
Alright, lay on your stomach. Have you ever
seen the videos of, like, Larry Bird
at, like, courtside at a fucking Celtics game?
Dozens of times.
You're gonna do the show like Larry Bird.
You're gonna lay on your tummy. No, I'm good.
He'll just... Dude, I'm good.
Dude, I had this exact sciatica during my friend Jensen and Daniel Fishels, who played Topanga, their wedding.
Oh, fuck.
I had to stand up and leave, but I couldn't because it was a relatively short ceremony.
And I was just in absolute fucking hell. The worst. On Saturday, I couldn't get out was a relatively short ceremony, and I was just in absolute fucking hell.
This was the worst.
On Saturday, I couldn't get out of the Uber.
Yeah.
I feel so bad.
4 a.m., I woke up and convinced myself I was paralyzed.
I feel so bad for you.
I couldn't go to the fridge to get a fucking treat.
It's like laying on your stomach and pushing your body back,
so you create length and space within your vertebrae.
It's like the... It got down to my fucking ass cheeks and my glutes.
It's going to go all the way down.
The further down it goes, the worse it is,
so you've got to keep that shit contained.
Yeah, I'm prepared for the worst.
Yeah, painkillers?
No, fuck painkillers.
So you're not prepared for the worst, then?
I just need a rogue.
What? You just need a rogue. What?
You just need a rogue.
I'm actually going to get one after this.
I'm craving one like crazy.
Fuck.
That's why it is such a fool's errand to ever lift weights.
It sucks so bad.
My dad doesn't exercise at all,
and he's just in no pain.
Yeah, the older guys, not even that old, like in their 40s,
they're just taped up, wrapped up from head to toe.
Just in hell.
They're in hell, yeah.
There's no walking.
Like they can't – like dudes who play basketball like later in their life,
you could tell by just their gait.
You could just tell by how they walk.
Like, oh, that guy was like a hooper who kept on trying to play,
and it's ruined his body.
It sucks so bad.
But then you just like don't exercise, and you're just like happy, never sore, have no residual pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad and my grandfather both have had to have like multiple surgeries from like playing sports when they were younger.
Sucks so bad.
Yeah.
Yoga is the way. Yoga is the way.
Yoga is the way.
I do want to try that.
I don't know how we haven't got yoga.
I've been umming.
Have you been umming?
Yeah, maybe it's possible.
Is that a real thing?
People actually do that?
They do it to vibrate that nerve in your testicles.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm not vibrating.
I'm not getting any vibration in the testicles.
You've got to vibrate that neck.
If you feel it working your way down, then you'll probably cum.
I almost just busted there.
Getting back on Wim Hof is a treat.
I can never get into that.
You know what you've got to do?
Get off of everything.
Yeah?
That's what I've been on.
You've been off everything?
Everything.
So you didn't drink in Atlanta this weekend?
Didn't drink.
Didn't drink?
In Atlanta?
In Atlanta?
That's where the players play.
Not even one beer.
You ride on the block like every day.
Welcome to Atlanta where the players play.
No, I had a car.
Howard Stern?
Welcome to Atlanta.
I had a rental car and I would drive to the club so I couldn't really drink.
Anyway.
You could have, bro.
I definitely could have.
I was one minute away from the club.
All cops are stoolies, bro.
That's true.
You know who I am?
I'm telling you, quitting weed is almost as good as starting weed.
It's like a high.
Yeah?
Dreams are crazy. Sex drives up limp dick is shorter than ever i don't know what dick is limp is oh yeah that's like shrinking
you're getting linked off the weed the weed gives the boys length oh he's less no anxiety i'm walking
around looking people in the eyes starting up conversations at the bathhouse.
That's so fire.
That's the dream, to be able to have.
Did you ever see Channing Crowder, the linebacker who has a podcast now,
talk about how it's his dream to look guys in the eye
and just have your meat out while you're at the urinal
and have a normal conversation?
That would be the ultimate bliss.
Yeah, he's like, that's like the best expression of manliness.
Just be able to be like, I'm in here pissing.
You're in here pissing.
I'm working with what I'm working with.
You're working with what I'm working with.
You're working with what you're working with.
Sounds like he's definitely gay.
Yeah.
That's his dream is to have that happen.
My dream is to be able to lock eyes with a man as he's touching his car.
As he's touching his car. My dream is to get to a level of comfort in life. Can we find that clip? That's his dream is to have that happen? My dream is to be able to lock eyes with a man as he's touching a car.
My dream is to get to a level of comfort in life.
Can we find that clip?
That's fine.
Is it possible?
I don't think anyone needs...
That Channing Crowder clip, it's so fire.
I think that level of comfort will not do you any positive or negative in your life.
Positive?
Unless you're gay, in which case it will arouse you.
You're so comfortable in public, in social situations, in uncomfortable situations. I don't think anyone needs to be comfortable in that situation.
I think it's a good thing. It's a positive thing to be comfortable. Yeah, but there's no one
like, oh man, I'm so uncomfortable while pissing at the urinal. It's
destroying my life. Yeah, well. Exposure therapy, though,
in some ways, it's like if you can do the most uncomfortable thing like dancing in a park.
That's what I'm saying.
So is protocol,
has it been edited?
Because I have boys
that are on the protocol
that are like.
I will still swear by it.
Yeah, you got to figure out
your sweet spots.
A lot of trial and error.
But I promise you
this cold shower,
just getting in a routine
where you.
I got to get my boy Colin
like in the text
message chain or whatever yeah has anyone like ended up in the hospital from the probably there's
a lot of blood on your head a stupid idiots but um it's i'm not complete deprivation i'm more
deprivation for a temporary than reward you were assigning your clients things you didn't do right
now yeah i was lying to them that's how I feel bad because I didn't realize I was actually influencing people to do that.
Like, Huberman isn't doing everything that he says he is.
Can't be.
You can't be that successful.
He wasn't, like, taking cold enough baths or something like that.
Rogan's like, come on, bro.
Get your shit together.
I saw Wim Hof posted something on Twitter of people that are, like, creating their own cold-er op.
They were like, the shower doesn't get cold enough, so I had to, like, come up with my
own invention.
They, like, they put, like, a fucking, like, a spaghetti, like, strainer, like, on their
shower head and then filled it with ice so that the water would have to go through, the
cold water would have to go through ice and make it more cold.
Once filtered?
Damn.
That's so, uh...
Insane.
I mean, people will die from that,
but that'll be a nice healthy dose of natural selection.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
The cold shower thing is so crazy.
It can't be that good.
People are...
Hot showers are like my one and only.
Cold showers.
I'm telling you.
Dude, people are making billions of dollars
They're not as good as people make them out to be.
Like, the most targeted ads I see right now are for people doing, like, inflatable tubs.
Yeah, that's every single ad.
It costs, like, $700.
Or, like, $5,000.
It's like a cake party in a kid's backyard.
They bring out the tub.
They're like, could you have survived the Titanic waters?
Yeah, that's just, like, that's stupid.
Unless you thought of it.
Imagine if the Titanic was all bros that...
Yeah.
Sigmas that just did cold showers all the time
and it didn't phase them at all.
I don't get it.
But, you know, to each his own.
To each their own.
I notice it the most
when I have a horrible night's sleep
or maybe I'm a little hungover.
Yeah, but that makes sense
because it wakes you up.
Yeah.
They say that's very good for being hungover. If you wake up and you're still a little drunk or you're still a little foggy in the brain, take a cold shower makes sense because it wakes you up. Yeah. It's here that's like very good for being hungover.
If you wake up
and you're still a little drunk
or you're still a little
foggy in the brain,
take a cold shower.
It'll wake you right up.
I was,
I drank like
pretty much every day
last week
and I didn't get hungover once.
I was on that
except then on Wednesday
I drank until like 5 a.m.
I don't know if you,
that's why I was wearing
the sunglasses the next day.
Ah,
that was when I decided
I'm not going to drink
this weekend.
I'm going to take it easy. I want to get back into heavy drinking. Ever why I was wearing the sunglasses the next day. That was when I decided I'm not going to drink this weekend.
I'm going to take it easy.
I want to get back into heavy drinking.
Ever since I switched I had to drop beer.
I've just been drinking vodka sodas.
It's changed my life.
For the better or worse?
I'm not hungover and I'm getting significantly more drunk really fast.
The only ones I really love are.
For beers I'll go home and be functional.
But like four vodka sodas.
No. I'm a fuck fuck I'm a looney tune
they are the best on which looney tune is my setting they are absolutely the best um high
noon is also the best oh yeah and their new tequila seltzer Is shutting-ish down
I was on the beach this weekend
A
Airplane dragging a flag
That's advertising high noon
Goes by and there was a ripple of buzz
Among the entire beach
Saying the same way that KB
Had the power of suggestion making him want to put
All kinds of stuff in his mouth
These people on the beach were obsessed with the idea of getting some high noon tequila seltzer in their mouth immediately.
Only 100 calories, gluten free, no added sugars.
It's truly the best.
It truly defines the summertime.
Great for the outdoors, pool beach, lake, golf, tailgating.
Wherever you are, you can find them at Drizzly or at your local convenience or liquor store
or visit highnoonspirits.com to find some highnoons near you.
The fact that you're packing up all your shit right now but not moving for a month,
you're going to be among boxes?
I'll be a bed, my clothes, and boxes.
That's all you need.
Yeah.
I still have it unpacked. Not even close to moved in. That's like a bed, my clothes, and boxes. That's all you need. Yeah. I still have it unpacked.
Not even close
to moved in. That's like a true stoic.
Just have a couch and a TV.
That's what the true stoic needs. That's what Marcus Aurelius
used to do. Fridge is stocked.
What happens when you have people over, friends?
Aren't you embarrassed? No one comes
over. Yeah, I always think I'm
when Bo comes. No one ever comes to my place.
Bo comes? What happens when Bo comes?
I don't give a shit. He'll sleep on the floor.
He could set up his own
hammock. Yeah.
Probably would like that. You could probably
do a hammock in your apartment.
By the window? Yeah.
I want to see your place. Nice.
It's big as fuck.
I believe it. It is. It's got cool ass frames. Yeah, I spent like see your place. Nice. It's big as fuck. I believe it.
This, it's got cool ass frames. Yeah, I spent like five hours there.
Yeah.
What?
Dave, you spent like hours there.
Like right when I moved in, too.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, because you were like homesitting?
He's like, you just need to come there, chill there for 15 minutes while they finish up.
And they were just getting started.
Wait, no, start this from the top.
He had to leave to go do his stand-up.
Oh, I remember the text messages.
Yeah.
He said that the moving people were finishing up,
and he just wanted me there so they left without stealing anything.
Take his stuff.
I asked them.
See them at the door.
I was like, you guys can just finish up
And they're like
No someone has to be here
Like they didn't
I got
They didn't trust themselves
To be there alone
It's all that good shit
You have
Yeah
They're like
No we're gonna steal it
This eagle shirt
Has only been worn
89 times in a row
And it's covered in mud
I have to have this
They got there
I had to be at the stand
At 8
And they got there
At like 6.30
And they were like
We'll be out of here
By 7.30 At the latest 7 7 45 rolls around and they're like we're they're like we're not there they
hadn't even the couch hadn't even left the lobby of the of the apartment yet yeah then i texted kb
and i was like kb they should be done i was like it must be a pretty easy process once they get it
in and then like hours had passed and kB was like, I'm still here.
What was taking so long?
They could not get anything up the stairs.
They were fighting?
Yeah.
Were they fighting with other people? They were fighting with the tenants
because they were just throwing shit down
on the staircase
that were making people slip and fall.
They're rolling glass bottles down
for the aesthetic.
I actually remember,
the only thing that kept me going,
because that was the same day I got a DM from J.
Cole.
I remember I was pumped about that.
What are you talking about?
I got a DM from J.
Cole on Instagram.
I was pumped about that
I was like yeah I can just like
sit down and revel in this
for a little bit
I texted and I was like
you were the last person that I expected to actually do that
I appreciated it a lot
I was fine
I texted and I was like is anyone around right now
I'm just not remembering how much the J. Cole DM helped me
Jack will carry you for hours What did the J. Cole DM helped me. That will carry you for hours.
What did the J. Cole DM say?
It was something complimentary, but cool, I forget.
He capitalized you, I remember.
So you think that he had started it with you,
and then restarted the sentence? He looks like a god.
Yeah.
Was it all caps?
Like all of you was capped?
Yeah.
Why are you?
Yeah.
That's huge.
Yeah. Damn. huge. Yeah.
Damn.
J. Cole is elusive, but he's out here.
You have to bring that up.
That must have been the weekend.
How did I not bring that up?
I can't believe.
And you don't remember exactly what he said?
I guess it's not that big of a deal.
I'm kidding.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shit.
Didn't even think of a lie.
I saw him on a bike once.
So it's like
you know he's around.
Definitely.
I saw Andrew Schultz
on a bike once.
Hey yo.
Pause.
City bike or?
Yeah.
Birds of a fucking feather man. I know right. We're all the Yeah. Birds of a fucking feather, man.
I know, right?
We're all the same.
There's a lot of...
They're adding more city bikes.
Yeah.
They're also adding more TVs into this fucking office that just have, like, stupid shit on a fucking loop.
I know.
That one just keeps on showing the mean girls and rough and rowdy.
This one I don't even mind as much as the one in the lobby
that's just like...
Oh, yeah.
Was it old stilt school scenes?
So I think the posters
are of mega brands
and then they'll throw
your challenging brands
on the TV
so they can get rid of them quick.
Yeah?
Well, nope.
Those are mega too.
No, it's all mega on that.
Is the...
No, not at all.
Oh.
There's some...
There's some emerging
and some... They'd hate hate us the company in general
oh yeah yeah we do no good for them dude there would never be an anus or a son of a boy dad
poster on that wall hold on there's got to be some sort of rep no no there's nothing that we're in
on this i've watched it like a hundred times you're just waiting yeah we're not in it's just
it's barstool outdoors one bite mean girls, Me and Girls, and Out and About.
And a million dollars worth of game.
A million dollars worth of game.
We are black and gay.
Yeah.
Barstool Sports, the blackest, gayest company in the world.
We're slipping so hard by not being.
Are you black and gay?
I got a company for you.
Head on over to Barstoolsports.com.
Finally, some representation.
That's hilarious that we feel the need to lie.
No, we're black and gay.
Do you like pizza, hunting, cock, and black dudes?
Black cock?
You like black cock
yeah
I like three things
black cock
rap music
one more
and hunting
there it is
well then I got the perfect website for you
you want to wear some golf gear
to watch her?
The black gay orgy?
In the middle of the woods?
We do a lot.
Oh, God.
It's so fucking sick.
We could be fired and there is no trace of us whatsoever.
No, no.
Yeah, it really is.
We're like a lost civilization.
Like we had no tradition.
Tent these windows a little extra hard.
Yeah, we're just going to...
Just like a splatter of our blood up against it.
Just squeegee it off.
Damn.
It's a sad, sad state of affairs.
No, we just got to be better.
Got to stop spoiling the Barstool Awards.
Has the new structure of Barstool been publicized?
And what do you mean?
KFC talked about it on their episode.
Yeah, I heard he talked about his role as a GM.
But have they mentioned who the other GMs are or what the how it's been divided
I don't
I don't even know it
I don't think I know
I
I saw that episode
and then I went back
and
I like looked through my email
for like
there was like a PowerPoint
to like refresh myself
on all of it
but it's probably
internally facing
and I probably
shouldn't say exactly
who the fucking
who the people are.
You can't get in trouble for doing the same thing twice, Ron.
Yeah, double jeopardy?
Yeah, you're fine.
In fact, I can.
In fact, I'm quite positive that I can.
Could even be more trouble.
Yeah, because this is actually, like, sensitive.
Or maybe it's not.
I don't fucking know.
But I'd prefer if one of you guys just did it
and looked in your email
what are the two roles
what are like the new roles
GM
and then there's
assistant GMs
KFC said on his thing
that he's the GM
of comedy
Jake Bass
Jake Bass is his
assistant GM
met with him
yeah
um
and then uh
there's
there's like other
subdivisions that they
kind of talked about
and then there's GMs of that they kind of talked about.
And then there's GMs of those subdivisions.
Many of the names I did not recognize.
But that's probably fine by them.
And what is going to change about output?
I think there's just considerably more bureaucracy. And I think they're squeezing out the weird brains.
Yeah.
Big time.
I think that I'm getting squeezed out hard.
Big time.
They don't even mention you.
They're Voldemorting you.
Yeah.
One of two people that do comedy here and they're like barstool introducing barstool
comedy.
Feidelberg and Roan.
It's fucking hilarious. They're squeezing the fuck out of you but now it's uh very bottom line conscious i think i don't know i i'm i'm looking forward
to i haven't been i haven't been to a company meeting in a while but there used to be at the
end of every company meeting that like a underlying idea of like,
and like if you have a good idea,
like you should probably still try to make it.
And if you find it funny, it's worth pursuing these ideas.
But I have a feeling that
that is not part of the ethos anymore.
So you think people will get,
their ideas will get shut down
or just from a like a budget?
It'll be like the Japanese workers
who like they'll take away your computer.
Yeah.
And they'll like, it's just like, we'll try to get this. who like they'll take away your computer and they'll like
we'll try to get this
and then they'll put you on like a block of ice
and like push you out into the ocean
and be like yeah make the idea out there
Is this all just for like high
production type stuff?
Because I never have understood the whole like
if you're just going to make something on your phone
the most powerful fucking weapon in the world
would they they can't not let you post that on your socials.
That would be funny.
Yeah.
They're like, we don't think this Instagram story is a good idea.
State-run media.
Yeah.
We're actually, we have some controls that determine what actually goes up.
I had to run my anniversary post by KSL.
What's funny about this?
Two years married.
I'm not laughing, though.
It's not really grabbing me.
Maybe that you fit more in the lifestyle brand.
Neither of you are black, so this isn't in our culture brand.
I was seeing a lot of heterosexual, which is,
that's not going to fit into the black gay subcategory.
Is there any hunting?
Pizza?
They're going to need you to hunt your wife.
Here's a great idea.
She doesn't happen to be black.
I had a meeting where they want me to get a black wife.
Well, Venus
pops back into the algorithm suddenly.
You love something, set it free.
Yeah.
It returns.
Look, I'm crawling back.
She will.
I knew she would.
I didn't see her at Wimbledon.
Mm-mm.
Which isn't right.
Well.
Made me very sad.
She was at the Messi game.
That was Serena. That was Serena.
I was Serena.
That was so awesome.
The Messi game?
It was so sick.
It was cool.
What if the MLS turns into the top league for football?
Why did he move to the MLS?
I was looking it up.
I couldn't really.
Just because it's in.
Stetus gave him a cut.
I think he has ownership stake in the team.
Okay.
And the MLS in general.
He gets like 5% of MLS revenue.
Apple gave him a cut.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Because MLS streams on Apple Plus, right?
Is he the highest paid current athlete alive?
No.
He got offered like billions or 400 million for four years to play in Saudi.
Who's ahead of him?
Which Ronaldo getting?
He's getting a lot.
It's got to be him and Ronaldo, right?
Him, he's close.
I think over the run of the contract,
Ronaldo's like a billion.
A billion?
What did Mbappe just get offered from Saudi?
He just got offered,
so the total package is $1 billion.
The transfer fee is 300 million to PSG.
Then his salary is $700 million untaxed.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Is he accepting it?
22 euros a second.
There's a lot of good players going to Saudi this year.
So PSG has accepted the 300 parts,
so it's now on Mbappe to see if he takes a contract.
Is that for branding?
Because there's no way his skill differential is that
crazy. I think it's because
he's so famous. He's got eyes on the league probably.
I think that there's probably, and I think
you look at what Messi did, I feel like that shit
works. I would like to go to a game.
Yeah, 100%. Oh, so this is a completely
new league that they're trying to do?
Saudi guys. Yeah, so
Saudi Arabia just has money, and
something costs as much as you're willing to pay.
It's like if the Globetrotters could just be like, LeBron, we have a billion dollars for you.
Enter Miami, you could go buy day of tickets for like seven bucks through game time.
At the time?
Yes, last year.
But now they're like $500.
And then, I mean, that's how you sell out stadiums.
You sell out fucking jerseys.
That's how you build a sport.
Like, if people want to come to every game,
then these teams will have more disposable.
You can't give everybody the 5% deal, but he's still,
he's the best player of all time, and he's still good as fuck.
You think this is going to be sustained over the whole season,
these large crowds?
I don't even know if he's playing every game.
They get more than, like, NFL teams? I think the stadiums are smaller. Yeah. I don't even know if he's playing every game. They get more than NFL teams?
I think the stadiums are smaller.
Yeah, I was going to say.
Do you think that can he sustain?
Will they be able to sustain this level of interest
throughout the entire season?
Messi?
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, see, Messi is like, we're going to come to see you.
You saw him.
So for his debut, I believe as soon as he announced the tickets for his debut,
he announced during the NBA Finals, his cheapest ticket was more expensive than the NBA Finals ticket.
Oh, my God.
That's so insane.
You think he's bigger than Michael Jordan?
Significantly.
Yeah.
International, yeah.
Yeah?
Yes.
Michael Jordan may be more money-wise on the money side,
but in terms of heads, people knowing him,
I think Messi's probably bigger.
Isn't Michael Jordan the highest-paid athlete ever?
I think so.
He's worth, like, multiple billions.
And then he just sold his team for three bill.
Oh, yeah.
It's funny that he sucked at that.
What was the deal with him as a fucking owner? It's kind of refreshing that he sucked at that what was his shit
what was the deal with him
as a fucking owner
it's kind of refreshing
that he sucked at it
but like every decision
he made was wrong
like the bobcats even
like the branding of it
horrible
the color scheme even
like sucked dick
it was all bad
he was just like drafting
college players
that were studs
they'll be good
he's like no you're dumb
you gotta
it's like the funniest thing
he's done in the past 10 years.
He had a Hitler mustache
in a commercial.
When he got
remember when he
walked out of that
like he was like shit faced
and had like the devil eyes
like walking out of
like a sprinter van.
No.
Oh my god.
Michael Jordan drunk eyes.
That was extremely funny.
With an elbow
on the pong table.
He was just
he was just out with some legends and their wives and stuff like that.
He was getting, I think, a lot of credit for having this.
Legends and their wives.
Be a fire show.
But it was like Magic Johnson and I don't even know who else.
But I think he was getting some credit
for the woman that he was with.
Do you know the story behind the name The Bobcats?
No idea.
So when they started the new franchise,
I don't know if they took an audience poll
or a fan poll or something like that,
but the finalists were the Charlotte Flight
because that's where, I guess...
Kitty Hawk.
Yeah. But Hawk. Yeah.
But they went with Bobcats because the owner was,
was it Bob Johnson or something like that?
Yes.
So it was like his name as part of the team.
Yeah.
That's why they went with that.
Stupid nickname.
Charlotte Flight would have been a sick name.
I don't know.
That sounds like a WNBA team.
Or like a beer thing.
You see two WNBA players got engaged to each other?
Dawana Bonner and Alyssa Thomas or Thompson?
It's had to have happened before.
You think I did?
I don't know.
But I was talking to my buddies yesterday.
I think they might have the best life in the world.
No.
Hooping together?
Che loves eating pussy that much.
Yeah.
Hooping together with your best
friend, your companion, your wife.
They're on the same team.
They're on the same team. I'm trading one of them.
You think that's fun?
No.
It's probably not when you're wooing my wife.
Both of them have to do well
in order for that to be fun.
They're a good team.
You get to travel everywhere.
They're both good players. Sexually, that to be fun. Yeah. They're a good team. So you get to travel. They both start.
Yeah.
They're both good players.
Sexually, that's very convenient.
Yes.
Like the hotels and shit.
Yes.
You get all your travel paid for.
Team probably loves it too. They probably book one hotel room.
Yeah.
They cheat like the fellas?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gotta.
I think they do.
They do.
They definitely do. I thought they do. They do. They definitely do.
I thought we had that on lock.
Sass is going to be sitting courtside at WNBA All-Star Game.
Trying to make his tag.
Dressed slutty as hell.
Dressed slutty as fuck.
Big ass mirror just like checking himself out.
Ladies, if your guy goes down
to Miami
in the WNBA finals,
he's not your man.
It's over.
WNBA All-Star Weekend.
There's some bad
boys out there.
With Brittany Griner.
Five feet taller than me.
I can see academics trying to hoe down there.
Oh, I could definitely. He's in feet taller than me. I can see academics trying to hoe down there. Oh, I could definitely.
He's in a bag.
You see that video of the academics live podcast, and there's one dude in the audience?
No.
Pretty depressing.
I don't really get it, though, because I feel like academics is still pretty big.
Is he not?
He has hoes.
Does he just go viral because he says crazy shit? He's huge on the internet yeah whatever he's doing is working
he has hoes dude he's making enough money that he has hoes what was the what was the caption of
the post it was one of the kardashians oh is is she the baddest of the oh yeah is she the baddest
in the game right yeah yeah ollie jenner's the baddest in the game. Yeah, this was the Academics live show.
Oh.
Is that a fest?
Is it a rolling loud?
Probably.
In the podcast tent.
Damn, that's so tough.
Look at the dude standing front row so close, knees locked.
How are his knees locked out like that?
He probably hates Academics.
Yeah, he's probably going to kill him. He's hate watching.
Someone sent him to intimidate Academics or something like that. Yeah, he's probably going to kill him. He's hate-watching. Someone sent him to intimidate academics or something like that.
Damn.
That's brutal.
That's a tough existence.
That's like the little sass in Ontario shows.
No, it didn't.
I know you fucking...
You outnumbered the crowd.
You went to their show.
One of my buddies did a show for a startup the other day,
and it was him and six people.
He said that he showed up and they didn't have seats,
and they were all standing, and he made them get seats.
I was like, dude, if it was you standing with six people watching standing,
you're just having a conversation with them.
That's a party.
You're just telling them a story.
Damn, that's so weird.
Yeah.
The dynamic of people sitting down
and you being the one that stands up
is pretty crucial.
Yeah.
That's the only really thing that you need.
100%.
More so than a microphone,
amplification.
Yeah.
Any of that shit.
Nick, you need to bail?
No, not yet.
My guy just texted me and he said,
can you move it closer to four?
Let's go.
Shits.
Let's fucking go.
So I was fishing this weekend
and I fell into the water like bad.
Like deep.
It was one of the more mort mortifying there's only like a
couple ways you could fall into fell in the water bad so i so i was like i pulled up to this like uh
river the chattahoochee and uh you saw dolo what was it just you yeah and um you soloed the
chattahoochee i did there was There was a lot of families and stuff there.
There's this beach area, but there's long-ass trails both ways of the beach.
So I went down the right side because that's the area that everyone was walking.
And I found an opening, and I fished there for a little bit, didn't catch anything.
And then I was like, all right, I'm going to go to the left side and see how that is
because the current was really strong on the right side.
And it looked like it calmed down more when you got further down on the left side.
Did it fish like a calmer current?
I don't know. It was just harder to fish because the lure kept on getting dragged with the current it's more still maybe that yeah and uh i go down to the left side no clearly no
one goes on that part of the path it's like the the trail is like this thin whatever i find like
an opening and it's very muddy and steep and i kind of like i kind of like set my feet up and
i was like this should be fine i was was like, I don't think I'm,
I'll just cast a couple times here.
What shoes were you wearing?
I was wearing my hey dudes.
And my first cast in,
I slip on my ass,
slide directly into the water
up to here in the water.
That is bad, yeah.
Did you lose the hey dudes?
No, the hey dudes
are going to be preserved like a woolly mammoth.
Yeah, the hay dudes are good.
They're going to look like a trilobite.
They're all covered in mud, though.
I have them in a bag in my duffel bag right now, like in a plastic bag.
They're done for, dude.
Then I couldn't get out of the water.
Oh, what?
Yeah, because it was so steep and so muddy.
So I was trying to push myself back up.
Were you panicking?
Oh, yeah, big time.
I was splashing around.
You were like kicking but getting deeper in the mud?
No, like literally.
I couldn't stand up because it was so steep.
And then I couldn't like push myself up.
So I had to roll around onto my stomach.
And I'm like trying to like grab onto the mud and pull myself.
I keep slipping back into the water.
So I went on for like five minutes. and then eventually i like moved down further and i like grabbed onto like a root
of like a of like a plant like a bush or some shit and i had to like pull myself out of the water
and then i got out dude and i was like like i had like a like a like this thick of a layer of mud
on my ass and i'm just like scooping it off and throwing it on the ground. It's like a country song.
It was wild.
So their
country stars are just like from
Atlanta. They're from like
Latrobe, Pennsylvania.
That is country. That's country.
Or then they're like from
wherever the fuck Taylor Swift is from. Like Redding.
I thought she was from like Massachusetts.
She is from Redding.
Redding.
Barkley.
Yeah, then I had to walk back and see all the families.
Were you covered in mud when you took this?
Yeah.
You can see the mud on my shirt and my hat.
That's from the splashing.
I wiped my sea like it's on my arms.
I took the water.
What were you trying to catch with that bait?
What do you mean? What type of fish were you trying to catch with that bait? That's – What do you mean?
What type of fish were you trying to catch with that bait?
Those are just like little gooey worms, little worms.
That's what he caught.
That's not the bait.
Oh.
All right, Playboy.
Fuck you, dude.
Is that one fish stick?
Are we good tonight
dude who's coming with who's one of those things in a cartoon they throw it up and eat it in one
bite i know okay i didn't say i was catching fucking sharks out there they were tiny it was
a very did it put up a fight big fight that's like the funniest part was i the rod i was using
i went to dick's sporting goods and i and I bought a $30 fishing rod.
And when I hooked that fish, the rod bent like full.
I was like, dude, I must have like a 30-pounder on my rod.
And it got up close.
And it was this big.
And I was like, oh, no.
I will say, I didn't see anyone else catch any fish.
I was the only one that caught one.
Was anyone else fishing?
Yeah, me and some little boys.
We all had fucking neon rods.
We had the rods that have the trigger, like the gun trigger.
Oh, yeah.
Mickey Mouse.
You could have probably did better with a piece of string on a stick.
No.
Like our ancient ancestors. ancient ancestors all about the
patience i was out there for hours they were calling me they were calling me the rod father
you put out a like a fishing a rod cast yeah a rod cast dude it was fun as hell i had a great
that was like one of the better days fishing's great the fact that you went out to do that alone
while you were just in a city is so funny.
Dude, I wasn't really close.
Like, the place I was at is pretty outside of the city.
Were you up by Kennesaw?
No.
Not that, I don't think it was that far from Kennesaw.
Yeah.
Hanna is insane.
Dude, it was like, that river was, like, beautiful.
People were tubing down it the whole time.
And I was trying to hook their tubes.
Yeah, pop their tube. Yeah. Go through, like, their cheek was trying to hook their tubes. Yeah. Pop their tube.
Yeah.
Go through like their cheek,
rip their fucking face open.
Yeah.
That's the dream.
Catch a human.
But it was great.
It was very fun.
And then I had my shows that night.
It was a great day.
I think Big Cat's gotten lost in his house yet.
Definitely.
Yeah.
We haven't heard from him.
He's probably fucking been looking for his phone.
Hey buddy!
Yeah.
Yeah, he was like,
I saw the bank.
He's in like been looking for his phone. Yeah. Yeah, he was like, ass on the bank. He's in like one of the eight bathrooms.
Why does it feel like we're going in circles?
Does it feel like we've been here before?
Eight.
Anybody!
Eight bait and switched us with pictures of...
The FT's house.
The FT's house.
The FT's dog.
Cute as hell.
Cute ass dog.
And, dude, the crib, his fucking island.
It was literally an island.
Long island.
It was like Trinidad.
It was fucking massive.
Yeah.
PFT's a fucking beast.
I saw he did like a 200-plus degree sauna for 30 minutes.
Holy shit.
He's the man.
Because of that?
Oh, yeah.
That's guy shit.
Yeah, that's good shit. Not's the man. Because of that? Oh, yeah. That's guy shit. Yeah, that's good shit.
Not because of his personality.
And his personality.
Because he could muscle through.
Strictly because of the sauna.
He's low-key athletic, too.
No, his dog is one of the cuter dogs I've ever seen.
I want to go see it and pet it.
No, bro, you're not going to do that.
Say hi.
Hi.
Buddy.
Is he friendly? Does he bite? KB's probably going to do that. Say hi. Hi, buddy. Is he friendly?
Does he bite?
KB's probably trying to river dance on that pup.
Yeah.
Well, me and KB and Francis.
There's people making wine.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
How about puppies below you?
And stomp.
When me, KB, and Francis were in the park, Francis kept on trying to talk to dogs.
Remember that?
That nothing infuriated me more.
Every dog that passed.
No one wants that.
The dog owner doesn't want to stop and talk to you for 15 seconds.
And it's just Francis like stoned as
fuck being like, hey, what's his
name? And they're like, you would guess
the breed. What's his breed? Yeah, I've heard nice
things about those.
When were y'all in the park? I was never in the park.
It was one day.
It was like a Friday a couple weeks ago.
Did you regret it?
I don't know. It was a blast.
Central Park?
It was making us laugh like the Dickens.
He was being funny?
Very funny.
He was cracking some jokes.
A little inside barstool type stuff.
Oh, no.
I could not repeat on here.
Oh, no.
Who was the victim?
I've already said too much.
I've already said too much.
She was uproarious.
How was the victim?
One of our boys were the victim.
Honestly, Francis was the victim for most of them.
Francis said some wild shit.
I was roasting his ass.
That was great.
I had to give him the one, two, three, four.
Not the three, four.
You never bust out the three, four.
No one gets the three, four.
Francis got it, though, because I know he can take it.
We can't.
He can't, no.
We walked home together and he brought that up.
Like defending his point.
I was trying to say.
He's always like
that man
that was so great.
That was so much fun.
We were laughing like crazy.
I know.
He's a funny ass dude.
He's great.
But what he did say
you didn't believe that did you?
He is funny.
I love when he does that.
He can never just like
appreciate a moment.
He has to like bring it up.
Yeah.
Aren't we having fun, guys?
And this is a blast.
When we play pool together
at least 10 times
while we're playing pool,
he's like,
how fun is this?
This is fun.
I needed this.
This is fun.
Isn't this fun?
We're having fun.
Yeah.
Right?
Hairball.
Hairball.
I needed this. Francis is the best. We're having fun. Yeah, right? Hairball. Hairball. I needed this.
Francis is the best.
Is Francis in Chicago right now?
Yeah, probably.
That golf thing?
Yeah.
Corn Ferry.
Corn Ferry.
Marshall's broadcasting the Corn Ferry event this weekend in Chicago.
Jake Marsh and Fourplay are on the call.
Corn Ferry is basically the minor league for the PGA.
That'll be sweet.
What is it, like a pro-am type thing?
I guess.
I don't know.
I think it's the minor leagues.
Francis is playing in the minor leagues?
No, I think he's commentating.
Oh, oh, oh.
Maybe some kind of sideline or something like that, maybe.
He's out there for a week.
Yeah, he's doing all kinds of shit.
We're going to have to run our show solo dolo this week. Yeah, he's doing all kinds of shit.
We have to run our show solo dolo this week.
Show do you have with him?
France watch at the stand on Thursday.
That's you guys have that show.
Yeah.
Let me come through.
Do it once a month.
Let me come through, bro.
It'll be fun.
I'm pumped.
I'm in New York for a couple weeks.
Let's go, bro.
That's going to be fucking sick.
I want to go up to Nashua Thursday.
Oh. For what?
Nice little spread up there. Yeah.
And cheap. Are we going to do a show on Friday?
We should have the fucking Chicago boys do a show on Friday. Yeah, we should.
Say, hey guys, I don't know if you guys remember that you have a job. Yeah.
Do it. For once. I used to have a
couple months off. Yeah. Chicago boys.
Hey fellas, think you could take Friday?
So we can have a...
He hasn't spoken.
This is outside.
Like, who?
Brandon probably just forgot how to do this.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
It's going to be dog shit.
I saw a social video.
He was, like, trying to chime in.
Oh.
Yeah, he's lost out there.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
He argues with so many sophomores on Twitter.
Oh, yeah.
About the most arbitrary list.
I love it.
Read the list again.
Yeah, like fact-checking sophomores.
And that's who new Twitter is for,
people who just want to list whatever stadium has the most seats.
I never said I didn't like Denard Robinson.
He just wasn't my favorite Michigan player.
Fish, people fact-checking him on the fish.
It was hilarious how mad people got at him
for not knowing what a million pike was
when he just was like,
does anyone know what fish this is?
He gets so mad at him.
They're like, Jesus fucking Christ.
Kill yourself.
How do you not know?
He's like, well, he's asking.
That's why he doesn't know,
because he's asking.
Fuck, I need to get some fish in my body.
Yeah?
You're going to get fucking mercury poisoning.
I'm not eating tuna like that.
Where are you going on vacation this weekend?
Sure, somewhere tropical.
Yeah.
I got to.
I got to.
Are you going anywhere?
Are you going back up to the Hamptons, Montauk, Nantucket?
I'm moving this weekend.
Moving.
Yeah.
Yeah, moving.
That's good.
Need help?
Will you help?
No.
Exactly.
Try and find some guys that could.
Four guys.
Four guys, one job.
Yeah.
We're looking for a little bit of a reboot.
I got all the bins, though.
Are still landscaping.
I can't wait to just get rid of so much of my shit.
I'm just going to end up pitching, like, being, like, maintenance around the office trying to fix stuff.
No, Mr. Sparky's got that.
I'll pitch that to you.
Yeah, Nick.
We got a great idea for you.
You do maintenance, you make songs.
So you know we're kind of short on, like, janitor staff right now.
The urinal is just broken, so if you could just get under the hood of that thing and...
Rediscovering blue labor
work blue collar collar work rediscovering manual labor but you're non-union you can't unionize
you're about to say i don't think i could do any manual labor job no i definitely definitely could
the only good thing about it would be be the lifetime of happiness that came with it.
The satisfaction.
Those guys wake up at 3 a.m.
Yeah.
I go to bed at 5.30 p.m.
They have the dirtiest mouths.
They rock.
They're real men.
And I'll never compare.
Salty ass attitudes.
They are true salt of the earth.
Ugly ass swingers and stuff.
Or some guy on the job site that's plugging someone else's wife or something.
It's like almost as bad as dropping a fucking atom bomb on someone.
Almost.
Plugging another guy's wifey.
I would rather you nuke my entire fucking country.
I would rather millions die than you fuck my wife.
Do what you will with the genocide.
Keep your cock out of my wife.
Keep your cock out of someone I know's wife.
I heard Hitler wasn't, like, loyal.
Isn't that fucked?
He's a bad guy.
He's a genuinely bad guy for that.
Let's spin the wheel.
Yeah.
You don't have to do that shit anymore.
This is our show now.
Spinning the wheel.
Apple butter make you want a bite?
I love that song.
I don't know what it is.
I just want to have a good night. You're it everywhere.
Our bone?
Wet.
Oh my goodness.
Alright, we'll do this for when they get back.
I'm not going to get my Aubrey tea wet.
No, that would be insane.
This is for Friday.
Last night.
He did?
He pointed at me.
Go ahead.
There's my twin.
Me and him both love 32 double Gs.
That's so funny. Find this girl. Find this double G's That's so funny
Find this girl
Find this woman immediately
That's so good
Wouldn't be hard to find
No
And she had video of her throwing it
That it surfaced like two days later
Is that like
When girls do that
Do they bring a bra to throw
Or do they take their bra off
And throw
They pop it off
But like chicks aren't wearing bras anymore
No
I mean
I mean if you have 32 G's
You gotta
Yeah
It caught It caught wind like a hang glider Yeah When she threw it And like but like chicks aren't wearing bras anymore. I mean if you have 32 G's you gotta. Yeah.
It caught wind like a hang glider when she threw it.
And like
It was preposterous.
32 G's that's nuts.
God damn.
I'm just thinking about it.
My mind can't even conceptualize.
I don't know what that is.
I just got lost thinking about them 32Gs.
That's your paycheck.
Of the booth.
That's how much you make a year.
You're always thinking about that.
God damn.
Your lifeblood.
Oh, God.
Who could get hardest in the booth to fastest?
Definitely Che Definitely Che
Zaha
He's probably hard right now
Zaha probably exerts all his energy
Nah Zaha is always
Zaha would do it but he'd break a sweat
Yeah
I think Zaha could get hard fast
Let's not sleep on TV
It depends
It depends Alright let's figure out
who's getting wet.
Steve, Steve.
Steve.
This is karma.
No, don't come in.
Don't come in.
All right, all right.
You're good, you're good.
Yikes, Rome.
What?
Bill's not going to like that.
Who isn't?
Can I draft in other people?
Of course I am.
Oh, it's tiny.
Go get Steve.
I'm not even sweating. I'm prepared for it. I'm going to have it's tiny. Go get Steve. I'm not even sweating it.
I'm prepared for it.
I'm ready to wrench.
I'm not even fucking sweating it.
See how I stopped Steve from coming in?
Damn, bro.
Your karma.
His karma.
Irish Indian dude.
I'm not even fucking sweating it.
See, Sass? That's how you fucking do it bro
go to it
shout out to Armani White
shout out to TJ
TJ deserves this
TJ deserves to avoid this
I might just get wet with somebody
if it's not me
I know exactly what you're trying to do
yeah get wet
get a little double soaky
you guys always act like I don't have the most
no you mathematically
have the most but that's why I'm trying to climb
the ranks I feel like I haven't been pulling my weight
you're like 8 in one day though You mathematically have the most. But that's why I'm trying to climb the ranks. I feel like I haven't been pulling my weight.
You're at like eight in one day, though.
Yeah.
It's been a while.
Apple butter make you want to bite.
I like that a lot.
Hold up. I still saved my life.
Now, now, now.
1-1.
There you go.
Fight, Kyle.
Don't you give up too easy.
Must change my life. Let's go, Kyle.
Bully season.
Bully season.
Beat it up, beat it up, beat it up, beat it up, beat it up, beat it up, beat it up, beat it up.
I'm going to wear that sweatshirt. Rob's already taking his shoes off.
Because I know what time it is.
What are we at?
Two.
Two-two?
Or is it three-two?
Who's been paying attention?
No one.
Three-two?
I think you guys have spun this wheel like 20 times.
So now, what is it now? TJ, it's three-three? Three, two? I think you guys have spun this wheel like 20 times.
So now, what is it now?
TJ, it's three, three?
Three, three?
Three.
This spin does it.
This is game seven.
Land on the line.
We need the power to go out.
Fuck this.
Oh.
Aye, aye, aye, aye. Fuck this.
Aye yi yi yi.
Sorry, B.
I'm always so tired of it, but then it's pretty funny still.
The way his gait changes is funny.
His back is very hurt.
Yeah.
Oh, he's real hurt.
I feel so bad for him. Warm showers help muscle relaxers. Nobody's very hurt. Yeah. Oh, he's real hurt. I feel so bad for him.
Warm showers help muscle relaxers.
Nobody's shitting. Shitting.
Ball stool changed my life.
Where do you think the most disgusting bathroom is in the world?
Penn Station?
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's like China or India.
I don't know because like a lot of-
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There's some nasty ones.
I had a friend whose dad did a work trip in India and the bathroom setup was a hose and a towel.
Like a cloth towel.
So other people were using the towel? Yeah.
That's pretty nasty.
That's so bad, bro.
I'd rather, yeah, it's like
it has to be somewhere that's pretty developed
where you can't just like go to the
woods and shit outside. Because I'd rather
just shit outside than that.
I went to a really gross bathroom recently.
I'm trying to think of where it was.
It was at a train station.
He just said that you're sharing a fucking towel.
There's no way that it could be worse than that.
Oh, it was the D.C. Amtrak station.
And there was homeless people sleeping in the stalls.
Did you shoo them to shit?
Have you been there at night?
No, I have not been there at night.
Terrifying.
That's a bad one.
I was surprised by how bad that one was.
It's so beautiful, though, when you walk out.
Yeah, that's a beautiful architecture.
I've showed up.
It's nice.
I went to a Los Angeles bus station at night one time, and it was fucking bad.
The homeless people were being so mean to me.
Yeah, they're kind of dicks.
No, they're probably just experiencing their bad moments that you just have while you're at your home.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Drenched.
Wow.
Drenched.
Oh, my God.
You look so swollen
I don't know how you get so wet dude
I don't think I could get that wet if I tried
Did you go cold or what?
Yeah
Third of the day
You're jacked though
You look more jacked than ever now that you're soaked
God damn bro
You're not even really shivering that bad.
I don't get cold anymore.
That glare you get on your head is so funny.
I think you look like Mandark from Dexter.
I think he had a permanent hair glare.
I don't know that fella.
It looks like Lego hair that was just put on your head.
Y'all are some strange cats
You are
First off, Sass didn't want to do the wheel
And second of all
You are the father of wetness
That video of the children's summer camp
Doing it is so fire though
Yeah
The excitement
Boss to save my life
I woke up this morning The excitement. Bars do save my life.
I woke up this morning.
Wanted to get wet.
All right.
Yeah, we should free KB from his misery.
We're going to be doing a lot of this yak and just this guys, the justice guys. But, you know, it'll be a nice fun month.
Let's do a draft.
Let's get wasted tomorrow.
I got an interview afterwards.
For where?
Where are you interviewing at?
Slate.
BuzzFeed.
I'm going over to Slate.
Hudson News.
BuzzFeed's making movies now.
What?
Did you see that shit based on a Twitter thread?
Oh, the Adam Ellis Twitter? I don't know what that is, but I don't know what it is either.
I just do cartoons on Twitter.
That sounds like trash.
All right, let's free KB from his...
Is there a day we can't get wasted this week?
We leave Thursday
So Wednesday
Yeah
Damn so what are we doing?
When do you leave on Thursday?
Just by ourselves?
Jesus Christ
Yeah it's going to be us doing it by ourselves
But subscribe to Son of a Boy Dad
Because you can see us
For Son of a Boy Dad? Yeah We're going to have us doing it by ourselves. But subscribe to Son of a Boy Dad. We might as well even record this week.
For Son of a Boy Dad?
Yeah.
We're going to have four hours of that this week.
Yeah, on just a different channel.
Yeah, just put out your Yak episode.
Your Thursday Yak episode.
No, let's just put out, let's replay our Son of a Boy Dad on the Yak.
That's an option.
Yeah.
That counts as our views right?
No wheel
That will get us out of the challenging
The challenging bracket right?
I don't know man
We've been clawing
But to know
It's like Sass trying to get out of that river
Are we challenging?
We're challenged
I don't see your
I don't see your show on that screen
I know
Yeah It's a damn shame.
This company used to respect the military too.
Not anymore.
Not anymore.
I heard some funny shit that Tommy Tuberville is doing to the military,
but we can talk about that at a whole other time.
Perhaps tomorrow when we come back for another fresh,
brand new episode of The Yak.
Love you guys.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace. We'll be right back.