The Yak - Sas Channels His Inner Schwarzenegger | The Yak 10-24-22
Episode Date: October 24, 2022#BringBackButtheadYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Oh, it's a Yakagami. It's gotta be. Oh.
Is that Yakagami?
It's got to be.
I think it might be.
But it also can't be.
Why?
Because we're four of the main characters.
Right. We've done this before.
Have we?
Yeah.
Definitely.
I think we're going to get some new Yak.
I wish we had a Yakagami account.
Yeah. I feel like we're're gonna wade into new territory
With Owen gone officially
Yeah
He just actually left today
Oh really?
No I'm just kidding
I just feel like we brought him up so many times
The last like week
Oh yeah
He's gonna be like done with that
He's on KFC radio
He's on KFC radio
Right
Yeah
That's a big get for those guys
It's never
Should I send out an email
And be like
I talked to Dave,
and we're never going to mention his name again on anything?
It's going to be the first time they've done that.
Yeah, I know.
There's his head right on your shoulder.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's kind of weird.
Head on your shoulder with the halo.
You have to put Brandon back on.
Is it just us today?
I think so.
I don't know if Roan's coming back from Denver.
He was in Denver for
the gambling competition. Brandon's on now.
Brandon's on. Wait, go back.
Oh, look at that. Oh, hell yeah.
That's officially the new logo. We had some little
hijinks. It was funny when we did
that prank where we pretended that we weren't
going to put Kate on the logo. That was good.
That was really good. We caught some heat for that.
Well, they're idiots.
They fell for it.
Yeah.
She's on the show every damn day.
Can't get rid of her.
Except for today.
Except for today.
We did get rid of her.
How did we do that today?
Let's repeat that.
I'm sure the last show talked about the Mincy video, right?
Signing one?
You're going to have to tell me which Mincy video.
The one he put out this morning.
Oh, I have not seen it, so I'm excited.
I also, the Mincy tweet from this weekend was fantastic.
Mincy had an all-time weekend.
Yeah.
Did you see?
I saw the one where after the loss, Coach called him.
He basically tweeted out saying,
I have the coach's phone number, LSU QB coach.
If you can pull that up.
Huge win.
TJ's not here.
I got to call Mincy.
Yeah, TJ's not here. Oh, do call Mincy. Yeah, TJ's not here.
Oh, do we have TGA back there?
His stupid ass.
We're on it.
Get comfortable.
TJ was like legit dead last night.
Yeah.
I've never seen.
I don't know what happened to him.
I think just Rutgers winning took like everything out of him.
Yeah.
He's like a.
What is it?
What's the what's the bug that like has sex and then dies? Praying mantis. Yeah, he's like a, what is it? What's the bug that has sex and then dies?
Praying mantis.
Yeah, he's a praying mantis.
As soon as Rutgers finally wins a Big Ten game, all his life is gone.
I'm going to try to say this in the nicest way possible.
Okay.
Is that the worst team to be a super fan of?
Because A, they're historically bad.
KB. B. Why do you think i call his dad a loser
when they do win a big game like still no one cares right it is you can't even get joy i didn't
know they won anything right no one i did just because i bet on them but yes it's by far
there's no reward there's got to be.
I've never even been up there.
The culture around the team fun?
Is it like the tailgate atmosphere?
Beautiful campus.
We went there a couple weeks ago.
I did the thing where if you ever want to compliment,
this is just a hack for anyone out there,
if you ever want to compliment a team, program, area of the country,
knowing it's not really that nice and it doesn't have really anything going for it,
you just call it a sleeping giant.
Oh.
Then you call it a sleeping giant.
I would love to be called that.
Right.
People are like, whoa, what if the giant wakes up?
Guess what?
The giant's never waking up at Rutgers.
But when you say sleeping giant, they're like, well, that's the giant wakes up? Guess what? The giant's never waking up at Rutgers. But when you say sleeping giant,
they're like, well, that's kind of cool.
Did you say that at the live show? Yeah, it's like Rutgers is a sleeping giant.
It's like, oh!
It's fast asleep.
And it's actually in a coma.
Yeah.
It's not that big.
Yeah.
It's Terry Shivo.
Sleeping giant.
So, yeah, that's why I call TJ his entire lineage losers.
Mincy did a review of the Denver sports book.
Okay.
And it's one of his longest reviews.
It's a minute nine.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Way too short a trip to Ameristar Blackhawk.
He accidentally slow-mo'd it.
Oh.
No way.
Huh?
Uh-huh.
Does he not watch anything before he posts?
That's what that tells me, which is very fascinating.
Very.
That's the most confident thing in the world.
Yeah, you usually just, like, see, like, you usually cut the beginning and the end, right?
Right, like, oh, make sure there's always, like, some extra shit.
No.
No.
He must have done that in-app.
Well, I don't know.
He one-taked it and was just like, ow.
Yeah.
The world needs to see it.
This is way more than 50% slowed down, too.
That means that that build-in slow-mo. I don't know. Can we speed that up somehow and hear what he's saying? This is way more than 50% slowed down, too. How long was the original review?
Four seconds?
I don't know.
Can we speed that up somehow and hear what he's saying?
Oh, wow.
What if he was saying some fucked up shit about us?
Could be saying some fucked up shit.
Who would know?
I'd be none the wiser.
TGA's going to get this done.
I feel confident in him.
Yeah, I want to throw him some fastballs today.
If you sped that up, would it just be his normal voice?
Yeah, I think so.
I think it's pretty hard to nail it, to be honest.
I can get that real fast.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
You've become a tech guy as of late.
You pay like $6 a month for this weird app.
You're a low-key tech guy.
TGK.
No, we were talking about,
Takayo is so bad with tech.
We were trying to figure out
the most advanced piece of technology he could use
because he can't use his phone.
Right.
Awful at it.
You can't, what can, I don't,
like a massage chair maybe?
The key is to just surround yourself
with people that are more illiterate in tech than you.
That's not possible.
I have done it with Dave.
Sure.
I showed Dave the search bar on Twitter like a year ago. Okay. done it with Dave. I showed Dave the search
bar on Twitter like a year ago.
It was awesome.
I was like, yeah, I kind of know
a few little hacks around this website.
If you need anything, you come to me.
Hasn't Dave been on Twitter since like 2008?
He was like,
how'd you do that?
That's what the search bar is.
Search bar.
So are you figuring out?
Are you teching it?
I'm trying to.
Oh, wait, TGA.
Oh, yeah.
All right, here we go.
Let's hear it.
This would be incredible.
It's better.
I need to up to match his voice.
He kind of sounds way cooler like that.
He does sound so cool.
I didn't really see Minzy much this weekend.
I saw him a couple times at the show, which was awesome.
Thank you to everyone who came out to LSU.
LSU is just a
different planet yeah you guys know it fred's yeah unreal market fred's was like in tears
like being like you guys like coming here is the biggest moment ever i was like
yeah okay don't put that pressure on me bro that's a lot of fucking pressure they bring you
steaks a i was there for about a half hour on Friday night.
Like Rudy, Hank, Jack McCarthy, all those guys stayed till like 3 a.m.
Megan making money and Mr. Making Money.
Mr. Making Money.
Mr. Making Money did the thing where he like came up to me.
We opened up the new sports book.
I got to cut a ribbon.
It was pretty cool.
Yeah, you did good.
I also did a bunch of local news interviews.
Oh, nice.
It's the only thing that I get nervous for and fuck up.
My job is to talk in front of people, in front of a microphone, on camera,
and then for some reason when it's that,
where it's like the midnight Fox News in Baton Rouge, I can't.
Is it because you have to hold back on like,
you got to limit the things you can say, A, and then...
That and also the questions they ask are always like
very professional.
Not used to those questions.
Yeah.
Like, talk about the relationship between like,
LaBearge and Barstool.
And I was like, what?
I don't know.
Yeah.
But Stooley got a great video that will probably be
in stool scenes where I literally,
in the middle of the interview,
I just looked at him and I was just like I'm fucking
blowing this
he's always filming man he's always
filming but Megan making money's
husband Mr. making money did the
joke where
he was very drunk at Super Bowl and he had like
interrupted he like came over
and like tapped my shoulder and like started like talking
drunkly in my ear while I was
trying to watch something so he came over and pretended to do that that's good yeah but then he got drunk
and then did it actually an hour later you don't it was like the nature of the beast
so that was fun i don't think anything else anything else crazy happened so did you go
out to denver no no no I was back late Saturday night.
Fuck.
Anyone get too wasted?
I think the boys tied one on on Friday night for sure.
Castellani was off and off.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
The thing I like about him is that he doesn't delete.
Like, if he posts something and it gets flamed, he doesn't delete it.
I've said this time and time again.
Best dude.
Yeah. He also is a big pat you've said this time and time again. Best dude. Yeah.
He also is a big pat you on the shoulder guy.
Oh, yeah.
Big time.
He was ripping cigs. Yeah, that's funny.
He just smoked his first cig,
and now he's just ripping cigs.
Oh, I walked in,
and he must have had like five cigarettes
in the first like 30 seconds I saw.
There's no way that was his first cig.
He used to work at a gas station.
Now he posted a...
He's smoking cigarettes. Yeah. That's illegal. no way that was his first cig. He used to work at a gas station. Now he posted it.
He's smoking cigarettes.
That's illegal.
To smoke at a gas station? Yeah.
How was your guys' weekend?
It was pretty chill.
It was good. Anything cool happen?
Any shows? How'd the
shows go? Shows went well.
All of them went well? No, one of them
sucked, but they went well um
it went a lot better than i thought they would for being we have full speed minzy oh shit
to this uh little gambling town oh hell yeah denver check it out that's a blast more still
sports book runs gambling tournament mega making money hospitality's top notch uh you know how i
suggest if you you know
you're in denver you're just in colorado come check out for anybody that was on the fence that
should push them over also didn't he spend uh he spent like a sabbatical there at blackhawk remember
he went there for like two weeks oh yeah he did oh yeah he's in the pool every day no i don't
remember that yeah this is a nice facility. Looks nice. Yeah.
It's in Denver?
It's in Blackhawks, so it's like 45 minutes north of Denver.
Oh, nice.
They always get you with that.
They always get you.
Yeah.
That's Colorado.
The airport's like, what, two hours away?
No, the airport's actually pretty close.
Yeah, it's two hours.
Someone told me that.
The airport's in South Dakota.
Who can tell me that? Airports in South Dakota.
You just flew into the wrong state.
Drove to Denver.
You flew into Omaha.
If one person tells me something, I'm telling everyone.
Oh, yeah.
I love doing that. I love relaying information.
Little facts.
That's the airport with the haunted.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All the signs and symbols. They got the horse with the It's haunted Oh yeah all the signs and symbols
They got the horse with the red eyes
The horse did?
And it fell on the guy that was making it
Oh did it really?
Yeah I'm pretty sure it fell on the guy who was making it
I was going to say that would be pretty crazy
I heard that from Rudy and I've been spreading that
Oh I've heard that too I think
Rudy's from Denver
But he's also dumb as fuck.
Yeah.
He is.
He is, he is.
Yeah, that's true.
That's right, he is.
There was a video of Rudy and Chris smoking the cigs together.
Yeah, they look cool.
Yeah.
They look cool.
Because of the cigs.
So what happened with the show that got canceled?
No, nothing got canceled.
That got bad.
I want you to retell the story because it was funny.
Oh, it was just these girls in the front row that were belligerently drunk the entire show.
And then it was like the whole crowd was just fucked up.
It was weird because I had a horrible time and then I got off and everyone was like, dude, that was fucking awesome.
I just don't understand going to a show blackout drunk.
You know what we should do?
We should never go to a movie blackout drunk.
Yeah, yes, I would, yeah.
Why?
Why are you not going to remember it?
Haven't you done shows blackout drunk?
That's way different.
Way different.
Also, I don't do that anymore.
Sass, we should do one of those.
I'm not getting off on memories.
What?
Memories are the best
thing in the world.
People couldn't even
comprehend what was
going on.
You don't like memories?
Good memories kind of suck.
Memories are the only
reason I do things.
I hate them in the moment.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, memories...
What the fuck?
What do you...
What do you think about
when your brain
goes ass backwards?
Memories.
You're constantly
thinking about the future.
Yeah, when you think
about the good times,
it's kind of sad,
but I like to think about the worst moments of my life.
Like, build me up.
You'd never do anything fun,
and then, like, for the next week,
you're just thinking about how fun it was?
Yeah, but when you think of something from a year ago
or three years ago,
you're like, oh, my life was way better then.
Damn, that's depressing.
So you just forget about it.
That's worse.
Black hole.
I still log. I still log. Black hole. I still log.
I still log.
Black hole.
Log it?
Yeah.
Sass, we should stage one of those videos where one of us comes up and is like, I could
tell you voted for Biden.
Yeah, that was nuts.
These jokes and like punch you or something.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
We do that?
It happened like a couple times.
I was talking about that one girl where the person threw the-
There was a guy who got punched too.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
We should do that.
Yeah, I don't really know how that happens.
I don't know where you'd have to go.
We should actually do it and just make...
And you should...
Like, the joke should be like, so I voted for Biden.
And then one of us comes up and is like, I can tell you voted for Biden.
Yeah, that would be good.
Just beat the fuck out of you.
Beat the ever-living shit out of you.
Yeah, we should do that.
We should do that with the green screen. Yeah, beat you to good. Just beat the fuck out of you. Beat the ever-living shit out of you. Yeah, we should do that. We should do that with the green screen.
Yeah, beat you to an inch of your life.
That would be good.
Yeah.
That would probably earn me some brownie points.
All right, so we'll do it.
Comedy community.
Yeah.
I've never had a black eye.
Ig Kat's, or Lil Sass' boss beats him to a pulp on stage.
You've never had a black eye?
Never had a black eye.
You've never gotten hit like accidentally?
No.
Maybe my reflexes are too fast?
I guess so.
I've gotten black eyes playing basketball.
I kind of want to.
I've never had a black eye either.
You know?
I think.
You guys want one?
Should we throw it on the wheel?
Yeah.
I mean, I've always wanted to throw a nice sirloin steak
Up against my eye
I also want a bad guy scar
Like over the eye
Like when a sword hits you
I'm going to hit it with a hockey stick in the forehead
Did you get a scar?
For a little bit it went away though
Doesn't sound like a scar
It doesn't does it
It's not a scar
I think I grew it
The opposite of a scar Yeah It's not a scar. I think I grew it. The opposite of a scar.
Yeah, that's not a scar at all.
No, no.
Yeah, it just went away.
It scabbed and then it went away.
Oh, man.
Should we talk about how bad Steven's football team is?
Yeah, that's horrifying.
I mean, his whole entire brand is built around a football team, and they suck.
Three points.
I was feeling very mean to him yesterday.
Yeah, there was some real animosity in the cave.
I didn't want to be there.
Yeah, his team sucks.
I was like, you should never have come down from the third floor.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not worried about that.
He did a battle.
Yeah.
I think Rutgers could have scored three points against the Patriots.
Yeah.
I agree.
Yeah.
This team is so bad.
We're bad.
And I'm going to go fix it.
So I'm going down.
Oh, you're going to fix it?
Yeah.
I'm going to go fix it.
You're going down?
Jurassic Times called for Jurassic measures, so I'm going to go hands on.
Are you going to bring someone to video?
Maybe.
You should fix it.
What if you go down and they get worse?
Can't get worse.
Zero points.
I mean, the Ravens are a good team.
But Julio Jones is on his way to breaking 650 and a half.
I brought that up yesterday.
550 and a half, yeah.
That was a lock of the millennium.
Yeah.
I mean, I counted for him missing games.
I had him playing 11 games, but he's missed essentially six in a row.
He played one and left after a few snaps.
What is his injury?
Old?
No, knee.
Osteoporosis?
Yeah, it's not good.
We're going to have the first ever.
I'm going to release some film study this week.
I'm demanding Stephen Shea send me the bad film because he only tweets good film
and he's gonna write me a script and i'm gonna do like steven shea voice and tweet out the bad film
what sucks is that i started doing this like breaking down film because the team was so bad
and everybody was just doing bad film and i was like all right you know like no matter what
two win season whatever there's someone's gotta be doing something good i did find a niche doing that but yeah i've essentially 99.8 only done good you're yeah i mean you're like kim jong-un
that's not a that's not an asian joke but you are you are we certainly have some things in common
yeah it's only positive things. He loves to eat pussy.
You guys see that video of Kim Jong-un on the boat?
There's no way he eats pussy.
Oh, God.
I had no chance.
Are you kidding?
He probably has someone eat it for him.
Yeah, eat this pussy.
Yeah, eat this pussy.
Get it eaten, and then I'll come in.
Did you just see the video of Kim Jong-un on the boat?
That's what I did before this.
Everyone's chasing after him.
What?
You didn't see it?
No. It might be old. I don't know. I saw it on after him What? You didn't see it?
No It might be old
I don't know
I saw it on Reddit I think
Can we play it?
It's funny
Because it's supposed to be like
Oh is it
We don't know
Oh yeah
Oh fuck
It's funny
It's funny like all these people die
No it is
It's funny because it's supposed to be like
Just like a
Like a real video
But there's like multiple camera angles It's like D-'s supposed to be like a real video, but there's multiple camera angles.
It's like D-Day footage.
They all start dancing.
Oh, wow.
There he goes.
He's like, get out of here.
He's saying, get.
Oh, stop.
That is funny.
They're like dancing.
They love him.
They love him.
Yeah, I think he's... Seems like a pretty good place. They're kind of into him. They're applying to be They love him. They love him. Yeah, I think he's...
Seems like a pretty good place.
They're kind of into him.
They're applying to be his next pussy eater.
He's shooing them away.
Look how wet we can get, Kim.
Come on.
That's kind of a badass video.
That is, yeah.
People love you that much.
You probably should have shook some hands or something like that.
Yeah, you'd think.
He might not get re-elected. How cold do you think that water is? Freezing. You probably should have shook some hands or something like that. Yeah, you'd think. It might not get re-elected.
How cold do you think that water
is? Freezing. You think?
Yeah. Korea, that's
pretty cold. Is it the China Sea?
South China Sea?
Yeah. How would I know? KB?
I don't think it would be the South.
What is it?
I don't know. Is that just the Pacific?
Pacific?
Korean Ocean? Akatsk? I don't know. Is that just the Pacific? Korean Ocean?
Akatsk?
I don't know.
Is there a Korean Ocean?
It's not landlocked, is it?
Does South Korea?
Let's see Korea on a map.
I don't think so.
This is going to be bad for me.
Do you guys know the names of all the oceans?
Yeah.
Pacific.
Atlantic. Atlantic.
Yeah, that's all I got.
That's all I got.
Indian Arctic.
Oh, Arctic.
Oh, Sea of Japan.
And then what's that?
Oh, it's not.
Oh, my God.
It's not landlocked at all.
No.
Holy shit.
Yellow Sea, that feels problematic.
Why?
Kind of looks like New Jersey, the shape of it.
Yeah, it does.
You're right.
Wait, are they that close to Japan?
I wonder what their Rutgers is in North Korea.
Yeah, they're very close to Japan.
Damn.
More you know.
Blows my mind.
I get why they're so nervous.
Do you guys like Korean barbecue?
Yeah.
Yeah, I love it.
Very much.
Love it.
Wouldn't go more than twice a year i don't think i've ever had it it's very fun too you never had it feels
shouldn't be fun no they're fun yeah it is it's like an event it's where you cook in the middle
of the table yeah yeah that's good shit so k Koreatown is right here. It's four blocks away.
We're touching it.
Yeah.
Koreatown's fun.
We got good bars over there.
We even got all about it.
We used to go there a decent amount.
We used to go there all the time.
What's on your shirt, Nick?
During COVID.
Somebody sent this in who has a thrift shop.
It's Elton John and Billy Joel.
Oh, nice.
He DM'd me and he was like, yeah, glad you like the shirt.
It was for sass.
I'm like, oh.
Oh, damn. Whoops. That's all right. It looks better, glad you like the shirt. It was for sass. I'm like, oh. Oh, damn.
Whoops.
That's all right.
It looks better on you anyway.
Who's to say?
You've never worn it.
I can tell already it looks better on you.
I did meet Brandon's mom this weekend.
Really?
That video that he posted was so funny.
So funny.
Gotta know.
Yeah.
Yeah?
What?
Yeah.
Big tits.
I think that's what he's saying.
Yeah. Is thatits. I think that's what he's saying. Yeah.
Is that your fat natural nod?
No kidding.
Yeah.
Brandon takes after his mother.
Very nice woman.
Very nice woman.
Took a picture with her for myself.
Oh, yeah, personal collection.
Wallet-sized photo.
You should start carrying around a picture of Brandon's mom in your wallet.
He'd be so mad.
He'd be so mad.
And rightfully so.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
That would be one of those ones that would be on me.
I went and I printed out a picture of me and his mom.
Carry it around.
Yeah.
Make a blow-up of it.
I'm trying to think if there's a way that you could subtly let him know that it's there.
Like he just sees it out of the corner of his eye.
Yeah, maybe make it my screensaver.
Yeah.
My phone.
Yeah.
Have it out and just be like.
You're having my phone, Brandon.
Yeah.
Oh, that's weird.
KB?
What's your phone background?
Mine is my kid and
One of my son and my dog
So I need to update it
It's fine
Yeah
My daughter's now a year and a half
So it's probably about time that she makes the phone background
Yeah
Mine is just
It's Wyoming actually
What?
Wyoming
Yep
What's yours?
It's like an animation of a rocky coast.
Let me see.
Oh, that's cool.
That's nice.
Mine's an Oddish.
That's weird.
Why?
You are weird.
Like a painting of an Oddish in a windowsill.
It's cute. It's basking.
Look how nice this photo is.
Oh, that's really nice.
Oh, that is nice.
Just myself.
You took that yourself?
Yeah.
Wyoming?
Yeah, it's nice.
I've never tried to take a pretty photo.
I just would Google where I am.
I did it in Alaska, and every time I looked, I was like, yeah, this...
Do you realize that you...
If someone else posted this, I wouldn't bat an eye.
In the moment, I'm like eye This is the coolest thing ever
People need to see this, they need to flex this
You need to be in the photo
That's the key
You don't want yourself as your screen saver
You can't have yourself as your background
Brandon probably does
His background was just zoomed in on pizza
Oh that's right
He just gets hungry every time he looks at his phone
I would do like a shirtless me
As my background for like motivation yeah maybe the ripped one no no i probably just like how i look
now oh motivation to get better yeah are we getting shirtless tomorrow oh i think so why
for the calendar why are we shirtless oh yeah only Yeah, you can't. You just have to show your cock and balls.
Sass will cover you in money.
Dude, like, you don't, like, my body, you don't even understand.
You don't think Big Hat has enough money to cover you?
It's not the body, it's the rash.
I have a terrible body, too.
It's not the rash.
What is sass's?
You refused adamantly to show any piece of skin before the rash.
You're just using the rash as a cover-up.
You were supposed to be the six-pack guy in the commercial when you won.
You want to see the rash, KB?
Yeah, I want to see.
It could be the rash.
Show you a picture.
I think he is the best gauger.
Yes.
He doesn't blow things out of proportion.
Steven, what is Sass's month and costume and background?
It's tomorrow, right?
Yeah.
This is my back a week ago.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Live reaction to his rash.
Yeah, let's cut to Kyle.
Wait, wait, wait.
He is September nude and money pile.
Let's cut to Kyle here.
Yep.
Okay.
This, yeah, this looks like a,
not a leper, a leopard.
In a good way, it looks almost like part of your anatomical makeup.
You've seen enough.
Yeah, okay, that's a horrendous rash.
I know.
It's almost like, it's not like a-
I gotta see it.
The color makes it better, like it's part of your body.
What color?
It's your back.
So what if we put you in a nude suit?
I just didn't show the front.
It looks the same in the front.
Can we get him a nude suit?
Like what do we have to do?
We have to figure out a solution to this.
I'm back on the steroid cream, so it's going away pretty quick.
Who did Pete Davidson's makeup in that movie?
Why don't you just have makeup?
Dude, we would just make the rash work.
I need to dump my entire body in.
If you didn't have the rash, would you do it? No. Okay. So let's, yeah.'t make the rash work I need to dump my entire body If you didn't have the rash, would you do it?
No
Okay, so let's, yeah
Forget about the rash
But the rash, KB
You understand why I'm saying the rash
Should I switch?
Should we switch?
Should we switch yours with someone else?
Is it on your front?
You don't have to show your back, do you?
No, it's on the front
It's just, is that bad?
It's not as bad on the front, but it's bad
Okay
It's more on the
breasts i mean i'll take one for the team and switch i don't think people want to see me nude
why would people want to see me nude more dying because no one's seen you nude that's true no
one's seen you with your shirt off i don't think anybody's seen your forearms well not right now
that's for sure all right i'll take one for the team, and I can switch. So what are you?
I'm August Pokemon.
Pokemon.
What the hell?
Yeah.
Next to the Joe Paz statue.
I have to check.
All right, so should I be nude next to the Joe Paz statue?
I think you should be nude where the Joe Paz statue was. You're just changing costumes, not background.
All right.
That'd be bad.
What am I?
Pokemon?
You'll do Pokemon to the Joe Pah statue.
I'll do nude with my money.
Okay.
That was a solid move by me.
You guys said thank you.
You get to flex all your money, too.
Well, all you're going to say is it's going to be fake money.
Thank you.
Do we have fake money?
No, use real money.
Use real money.
People will be able to tell.
Is there an offense to cash on me?
Yeah.
Get some out.
I might, actually.
I saw a video of you throwing around bands this weekend.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
First bet at the sports book.
Didn't go well.
Yeah, that sucked.
That sucked a lot.
Why?
What was the bet?
UAB on Friday night.
They started tailing sass.
Their quarterback got knocked out.
No, I sneakily placed some bets yesterday, and they all lost.
Shit.
I've been tailing Che, and I'm covering my rent.
I've been tailing Che, and I'm broke.
His basketball picks.
6-0 in hoops.
Fuck.
Somebody big is trailing me because I put it out,
and three minutes later, the line moved.
You're sharp.
That's definitely what it is.
I'm dead serious. Yeah, you're sharp.
So what's the pick tonight?
Paolo Bancaro over 28.5.
Combined points, rebounds, and assists.
Alright, so there you go. The Yak gets it first.
That was nice of you. That was nice of you.
I tweeted it out already. Oh, fuck. Come on.
So has the line moved?
I'm saying I tweeted it out and three minutes later the line
moved. So what is it now?
29 and a half.
Jesus Christ, he's going to have 29.
I had a rough one.
I picked the Chiefs 49ers under.
Oh.
Yikes.
That was a tough one.
They were over by, I think, 40 points.
The Yak wheel, yeah, we didn't.
I think we went two out of three.
Yeah. Sucks. I do wheel, yeah, we didn't. I think we went two out of three. Yeah.
Which sucks.
I do bet it every single week.
Yeah.
I missed it once because I was not in a state where I could do it,
and it was the week it won.
Shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I bet it every week, so I think I'm down a unit.
I put $1,000 on it every week.
We've won it once through seven weeks.
That's okay.
It's only money, guys, right?
Did you guys see Clemmer? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We should get him to show up. Shout out to him. That's okay. It's only money, guys, right? Did you guys see Clemmer?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We should get him to show up.
Go grab him.
No one looks like you have to do this.
Yeah, we were.
Yeah, but he did it.
He's in a very much you have to do it phase of his career.
Right.
But he still did it.
He's not on the show.
Right.
But, yeah, go get a quilt.
He could have at least showed up without him today and waited to be told. No, he went still did it. He's not on the show. Right. But, like, yeah, go get a quilt. He could have at least, like, showed up without them today and, like, waited to be told.
No, he went and did it.
He did it.
And, like, his main job is blogging, and he has to type.
Yeah.
That's great.
That's tricky.
That's great.
Tricky, tricky.
By the way, Roback, I'm wearing the Roback joggers right now.
I'm wearing them every day.
Roback.
Go to Roback.com.
Promo code YAK for 20% off your first purchase through the end of the week.
That's spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
That's 20% off all polos, Q-Zips, and hoodies with code YAK.
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Do we have some for us in here?
They sent me the joggers. They are so comfortable.
Before I asked me the address
and for my address, I haven't gotten them yet.
He's just surveilling us.
I got a bunch.
I think it's easier.
It's unopened.
Those are longer than Rhone's.
He did do a good job.
Those are longer than Rhone's.
Now next time it lands on that, we'll have to go longer than that.
Yes.
Clemmer.
Clemmer.
How are you feeling?
You're matching.
I am, yes.
Yes.
You look so good.
Your hands look huge.
I mean, I guess it's good that it's around Halloween.
So are those press-on?
No, no.
I went to a place.
Oh, wow.
These are actually acrylic nails. Did they say anything? I had had explained i i just said i lost a bet okay it was just easier
in that circumstance to then go into i mean good on you man you're like we would not have followed
up what do you mean if you had not done that i wouldn't have i don't think it would have been
like straight up forgot to land on it lemmers band oh no i would that wouldn't be bad i mean. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. Oh, no. That wouldn't have been bad. I mean, the wheel is just.
The wheel.
Yeah.
For the wheel, I wouldn't be here.
Yeah, that's true.
The wheel saved your life.
That's right.
You got to honor the wheel.
That's right.
No, it's fine.
It does make all of life uncomfortable, though.
Like, every single.
Like, there's nothing good about it.
I don't know why women do this.
What about when you have a little itch?
What now?
What about when you get a little itch?
Get a little itch?
Yeah.
That's got to be pretty good.
That would.
Scratch Nick's back.
Scratch Nick's back. Just a little scratch. How little itch? Yeah. I guess that would be pretty good. Scratch Nick's back.
Just a little scratch.
How's that feel?
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Do you want your
back scratched?
No, no, no, no.
I've already had it
scratched by Ron
Runeet.
Oh, yeah.
You're just always
afraid.
It's so fragile.
You're always afraid
it's going to snap
off.
Even doing that, I
was really cautious.
Everything I do, I'm always afraid it's going to pop off. Even doing that, I was really cautious. Everything I do, I'm always afraid it's going to pop off.
It hasn't, but that's my fear.
You want a paperweight for your desk?
Here, catch.
Oh!
Oh!
Wow!
That was a good catch.
That was a good catch.
Did it crack anything?
No, it didn't.
Wow.
Okay, well, we'll have you back on Friday To the day you get it off
To see how the work went
Yeah Friday night
I'm getting it off
I'll be very happy
It'll be a nice blog
Like logging
How your week with nails went
I know
It gives me at least
A couple different blog ideas right
Yeah
At least I would hope
Have you had to wipe your ass yet
What's that
Have you had to wipe your ass yet
Yes I did last night
Oh no
It wasn't as horrible
As I feared.
I just bunched up a bunch of toilet paper, kind of did it over the nails.
When did you get them on?
Yesterday.
So you can get them off on Thursday.
It's only a five-day thing.
I have it already scheduled for Friday.
Oh, okay, great.
All right.
Extra credit.
I already had booked because I had to go in there because she buffed my nails.
She has to go in there and put solution on it to get them off, I guess.
I don't know.
Jesus.
It was an hour and a half ordeal.
Oh, I don't want this.
And I told her, I said, just do the bare minimum.
Don't put any gel because I'm having them off in a week.
But yeah, it still took an hour and a half.
Okay.
How much was it?
It was $60 and I gave her a $20 tip.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
All right. Well, thank you, Clemmer.
Good job.
Above and beyond.
Hour and a half.
Yeah.
That part sucks.
Yeah.
He looks like a freak.
Yeah.
I bet you he can grab walks so fast with those.
He looks like a freak.
Yeah.
The picture he posted, I was more shocked by the color of his hand.
Yeah.
It was just pink.
He's got very skinny fingers.
Oh, whoa.
Whoa.
Holy shit.
Oh, my God.
That's an old lady's hand.
Oh, my God.
Why so pink?
I don't know.
It's so pink.
It looks like it's a lizard's hand.
Something.
Oh, yeah.
Those are real.
Those are the real deal.
I'm proud of them. Yeah. I. Oh yeah. Those are real. Those are real. Those are the real deal. I'm proud of him.
I am too.
Not that proud.
No no. I don't ever want that to be
me. No and I don't want I'm never going to tell him
to his face that I'm proud of him. Yeah.
He'll never know. I don't want that to happen.
That'd be a disaster. Yeah.
Yeah it would be.
Fucking clever.
Yeah right. Honestly, right, honestly.
Oh, my God.
Che, your team stinks.
Yeah, really bad.
Really bad.
Yeah.
And it's really the only thing you got going for you in life.
I mean, I'm 6-0 in the media pick, so maybe I'm going to just
put it into a basketball game.
That's not going to last.
When we were negotiating deals before the season,
I remember being like, are you guys sure the Bucs are even going to make it
for this deal to happen?
You're like, yeah, shoo-in.
Guaranteed.
They're in the playoffs right now.
Data can't be looking good.
How many losses did you have them at?
I think I had them at 11 and 6.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, not great, but not dead.
Yeah, no, it sucks.
The worst part is, you know, I've been a Bucs fan for a long time,
but we very seldomly have expectations,
and we had great expectations this year.
Yeah, that's the thing is when you try to, like, come back at me
and you're like, the Bears suck.
It's like, yeah, no shit.
You're supposed to suck.
Bears Patriots.
Yeah, huge. It's going to be great. shit. We're supposed to suck. Bears-Patriots. Yeah, huge.
It's going to be great.
I'm very excited watching the Bears in fucking national TV.
Get embarrassed.
They have all 1 o'clock games after tonight.
Thank God.
Oh, really?
Yes.
I dread it more than anything.
Anything.
Whenever the Bears have to play on a standalone game, it's just a torture chamber.
Yeah, Twitter has to be horrible for you.
It's so bad.
I was thinking about it like I might, if things go bad, I just might do a PS5 and go to bed.
Or I was thinking about maybe locking my replies.
Doing the move like whenever like one of those, like Taylor Lorenz does that all the time
when she's getting bullied.
I call them my replies.
She's a bee.
It's worse because it doesn't even work.
It's way worse.
So I'm not going to log my replies.
She does a thing where you can do it
where only people you follow
back can interact in any way.
I thought it was
I thought anyone could quote you.
She does the thing where you can't even quote tweet. I thought it was... I thought anyone could quote you. No, you can't. She does the thing
where you can't even quote tweet.
I might have to do that.
I think you should...
Is there like a stock image
of just like a funeral home
and just be like,
can't watch the game yet,
nobody talked to me about it.
Yeah.
Something came up.
Yeah.
Some things are just
more important.
Yeah.
Maybe I should just
get hit by a car
on the way home. It's a light hit by a car On the way home
You need to
It's a light
A light hitting of a car
Enough to say you could
You got hit by a car
Right
Like I got hit by a car
And then just leave the rest vague
Yeah
Tommy had a good one last night
Where he just became
A follower of Christ
The Yankees lost
And was just
Shaming anyone
Yeah He's good at taking shit Yeah You're very good at it The Yankees lost and was just Shaming anyone Yeah
He's good at taking shit
Yeah
You're very good at it
Yeah I mean he's
That's his whole job
Yeah
Puts himself in the position to take shit
And Tico just
Dominated those guys
How is she gonna match up with the Philly guys?
I don't know
If she has to go
Yeah this is Tommy's time
If she has to go to philly that could be a
problem she might have had the she can't go to philly i mean you couldn't have won more than her
she hasn't tommy said it during the stream he was like so depressed and he's like what a w
heco has not seen a loss since she became an astros fan this is kind of like a double or
nothing deal with her now. What do you mean?
It would probably be preferable to go out on top,
but if the Astros do sweep Philly and Smitty...
Oh, my God.
Smitty will be in a torture chamber with her.
Yeah.
What about Max?
Oh, Max.
I will love that.
Max will be...
That's going to be bad.
You know, it's going to be really bad.
Yeah.
He's always on the verge of tears, and it's like when his team is winning.
Yeah.
He's on the verge of tears.
We watched the final out here yesterday, and he just turned to Jack McCarthy.
I don't know what their beef is, and he's right in his face.
Right after the Phillies clinched the World Series.
He just goes, fuck you, you fucking asshole.
And I was like, whoa.
He's all vengeance.
That's Philly.
Like, the Astros have not lost a game in the postseason.
Philly's like this dream team, the Bryce Harper home run.
The Astros have been so fucking good.
So good.
Just dominating people.
I hope it's a long World Series.
That'd be nice. Sweep would be funny, though, funny though too yeah i like how fast the turnover time is well it's not typical week right starts
friday yeah is that because of the lockout everything got kind of smushed no i mean it
was supposed to i i think it was it would have been even a faster turnover time if these series
had gone farther than four and five games yeah yeah because it was always gonna start friday so we could have had games on like wednesday and then like the
it'll end next week right uh i think game six and seven would be friday saturday yeah so yeah
it will be awesome and day's time we're gonna have a world Series champion, Tico Texas, marching around Houston.
Yeah.
Don't mess with Texas.
What's next for her?
I don't know.
I think a World Series is a pretty big deal.
Well, she's been pivoting to trolling.
Last night she was rooting for the Steelers in front of Frank.
Yeah, that was – we started taping PMT, so I didn't see that,
but it sounded like it got pretty chaotic in there.
I left.
Yeah.
And I gave Frank his flag system, and he just didn't follow the rules.
Didn't follow the rules.
Yeah.
She is literally, this is crazy,
she is literally a professional baseball fan.
I would say that's her role.
Yeah.
Like her predominant role.
Yeah, it's crazy. I think of the Astros, you think of Tico. Yeah, you would say that's her role. Yeah. Like her predominant role. Yeah, it's crazy.
Think of the Astros, you think of Tico.
Yeah, you do.
She's the face.
She is the baseball fan of Barstool Sports now.
Yeah.
No, like, joke.
Yeah, no, well, if she wins the World Series, she is.
She's conquered every other baseball fan.
She is the baseball fan.
That's...
What a world.
It's poetic.
It is.
And, like, she got, like, I saw, I saw the tweet went outside of Barstool, that realm,
and there were black people who were hyping her up.
We finally need black women representing baseball.
This is beautiful.
This is awesome for us.
There we go.
Beautiful.
MLB should sign her to a marketing deal.
Imagine Tico was on commercials and shit.
Imagine.
She gets the $60 million Spotify deal next week.
We got something with this Tico Texas and the Astros.
That would be great.
I hope she really starts to like baseball.
Yeah.
She starts to get into analytics and talking about war and stuff.
Yeah.
Plus minus and just, yeah.
We should actually give her a cheat sheet for game one.
Just be very analytical.
Yeah, just talking about the OBP of different players and the shifts and everything.
Yeah.
Which arm should be coming out of the bullpen.
How do you enjoy baseball?
Holy shit.
Playoff baseball is fun.
But yeah, I don't...
It is brutal knowing when you watch the Yankees,
all those guys watching 162 games
and have them just meekly go out of the playoffs in four games.
Yeah, that would suck.
That's such a time commitment that just gives you nothing in return.
I guess that's all sports. The last game I watched was
when the Red Sox won the World Series
last. Wow. I guess I've
been to games live, but even
then. You didn't even watch. I'm not watching the games.
I like it on
his background. Yeah. Around the house is perfect.
It is a great background. But I mean,
there's no point of watching the
Pirates. Yeah. O'Neal Cruz? He'll be a great background. But I mean, there's no point of watching the Pirates.
Yeah.
O'Neal Cruz?
He'll be a Yankee.
Don't say that.
Don't do that to yourself.
I feel like Frank.
I don't really get it.
That was a Frank thing to say.
Oh, no.
That was a Frank thing to say.
He'll be O'Neal Cruz, he'll be a Yankee. Now motherfuckers are named O'Neal, first name?
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
You can do whatever.
Yeah, you can do whatever.
He didn't do it.
Bauer would work as a first name.
Sounds like it would be.
Yeah.
I don't know anyone who's doing it.
You should name your kid Bauer.
Oh, you have big news to say.
Sorry.
What?
Oh, no.
Never mind.
What do you got? You're news to say. Sorry. What? Oh, no. Never mind. What do you got?
You're going to be a dad.
Why would you do that?
Your mom's going to be so mad.
Why would you do that?
It is a little early to talk about it.
It's a little early.
Nine months.
Why would you do that?
I've always said you're going to be a great dad.
He's going to be a very good dad soon.
Happy for you and your girlfriend.
Why?
Not his girlfriend.
He doesn't have a girlfriend.
It was just a one-night thing.
You guys are going to try to work it out.
Are you going to put a ring on it?
Stop.
No, it's not.
That should be a segment of the Yak.
It's scare Kyle's mom.
There's no intro, so she doesn't know when it's happening.
Yeah, it would work. Yeah, it's Stair Kyle's mom. There's no intro, so she doesn't know when it's happening. Yeah, it would work.
Yeah, it works every time.
Your baby mama, she's an atheist, right?
Yeah, you're refuting it.
No baptism.
She said, we'll have this baby, but this baby will not live in a house of God.
It will not be baptized.
She is Catholic.
Oh, your baby mama?
Yes, it's just with schedule.
I like how she can't make mass all the time.
I'm more scared of his fake baby mama that we just made up being an atheist than the actual idea of him having a child.
That would be the worst fate of all time.
He'll play along with him having a child as long as you don't say the child is Catholic.
He met us in the middle. He's like, okay, yeah, my as long as you don't say the child is... He met us in the middle.
He's like, okay, yeah, my baby mama that I don't know...
She's Catholic.
She is hard-practicing Catholic.
It would be way worse.
Yeah.
Way worse if I had a baby, actual.
No, it would be better to actually have a baby
and her be Catholic.
Check this out.
This is in my replies to the Yak.
Did you guys see this video?
This guy's maybe the coolest guy ever.
What's he doing?
It's like this entire synchronized trampoline dance.
He's awesome.
Dude, have you ever heard of, like, what is it?
Tramp or jump, jump?
The one with the wall?
Yeah.
Seen that?
There's a crew.
They're a gang.
Yeah, they have their own house.
Very supportive.
Towards the end, Andrew, he's like...
It looks like he was in a church.
It does.
One move.
There's a cross on there.
Towards the end, that was like...
Is he old?
I think he's old.
Is he playing the same thing?
Does he make it to the top?
Oh, is it just that?
Yeah, it's nine seconds.
Oh, shit.
You were just watching it for minutes.
Wait, no, I wasn't.
I feel like I saw the whole thing.
What the fuck?
That's going to suck if I just watch the video for...
That would be so funny.
That's going to be so embarrassing.
God damn it.
You're like, dude, how is he just teleporting?
I now have to find this.
Top step to the bottom step like that.
Fuck.
I mean, my brain on Mondays is always a shit show,
so I could i could have
just watched a nine second video a hundred times over nope found it all right thank god
that would have been a disaster
dude you saw the real one so did Hennessy last Friday
yes I was so
I mean I'm always jealous when I'm out
but when I saw you guys getting your hen on
so people were
paying me a dollar for Hennessy shots
and I made enough to buy another bottle of Hennessy
so we're doing it again Friday
are we doing Hennessy. So we're doing it again Friday. So Friday, are we... Sending me money. Are we doing Hennessy Friday
and also painting ourselves?
That's right.
Yeah.
Stop Venmoing.
Painting ourselves?
I reallocated the funds
to another Hennessy Friday
so everybody can have the shots they bought
will be accounted for.
Got a big bottle.
Are we going to have
the painting supplies here?
Yeah, they're supposed to be here
either tomorrow or Wednesday.
So I think...
This is going to be great.
Yeah, Sash, you're, we're all paired up.
It's a paint battle.
Oh, yeah, me and Brandon.
Yeah, you have to paint the other person what they would look like nude.
Yes.
I have Kate, which is weird.
I'll confirm that everyone's going to be here, but that is the plan right now.
Yes.
They're fucking stacked.
I think if you want to use a different color, so like every color you want to use is a shot.
Oh.
Worst painting is a double shot.
Oh.
If you lose the battle, it's a double shot.
So, you know.
There's some stakes.
Yeah.
And then if you want to buy yourself like three more minutes of painting, it's another shot.
Wow.
I love this.
This is going to be fun.
It's going to be very fun.
Paint battle 2022.
Yeah.
What are we going to do?
10 minutes?
10 minutes.
Yeah.
Is that basketball? Yeah. We have to do weeks. We have to. Yeah. what are we going to do? 10 minutes? 10 minutes? Yeah. Is that basketball?
Yeah, we have to do weeks.
10 minutes? Let's do 15.
I would need a whole period
of class. I remember we used to do this in our
20. There's five. Yeah, so
20 works. Wait, are we not doing wine?
That's like an hour and a half. It's a Hennessy now.
Okay, that's been fully swapped. Okay.
So
I don't think I've ever had Hennessy.
Get ready to be drunk.
It was delightful.
Yeah?
Yeah.
It looked so much fun.
I was very upset that I was missing out.
All right, show the end of this.
This is the full video.
Yeah, fast forward.
This is like churchy.
Oh.
Oh, watch this part.
He goes lower, and I don't know how he gets back up.
He's probably kicking off of the wall, if I had to guess.
He's going so low.
Oh, actually, never mind.
He does this with his arm.
Watch his arm.
He reaches up.
Is this?
How fucking badass is that?
God damn.
I mean, he looks like he keeps failing.
No, he's going back up.
The magic of this.
Okay, we'll make it to the top, dude.
I actually think I could do this.
Yeah, I'm going to say I could do this for sure.
This doesn't look that hard.
The thing is, it would be cool if he just pulled that out,
but the trampoline is already there,
so you're expecting he's going to do a trampoline trick.
I don't even really know how he gets that low
and then goes back down.
He should be doing flips.
His arm, it's when he puts his arm up, I think,
is what he's doing.
He's reaching, but that's insane.
Yeah, I would just have to, like,
I would lay flat and then have to, like,
crawl around the trampoline and go back up the stairs.
He's got a captive audience, man.
But they're not, like, cheering him on.
This is such an odd.
This is such a dude's rock moment,
because, like, when...
How does this come up naturally?
Like, oh, here's a staircase next to a trampoline.
Like, you had to just...
Okay.
He could...
Yeah, there's a lot that could go wrong.
What a badass.
No, there's a lot to go wrong.
Trampolines are the third biggest killer in America.
Oh, shit. Heart disease, fentanyl, trampolines.
Ah, damn.
I didn't know it was that bad.
Yeah.
Really bad.
Did you have any friends growing up that had two trampolines?
You could jump back and to and fro?
No.
Logan Seidler.
He had double?
Double.
Did they have the net stuff? No net.
No net? How dangerous was that?
He lived out in Valley Grove.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys ever been on
one of those ones? No. Oh.
The actual gymnastic ones? Those things
launch you.
The trampoline parks, is that what they have?
I forget where I was. It was somewhere in New
Hampshire, and I found
it.
I was young.
But, dude, you jump so fucking high.
I feel like I've been on a trampoline once because I went on it,
and someone double-bounced me, and I was like, I'm done.
Double-bouncing sucks.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I am the most risk-adverse person probably on this show right now.
I don't do roller coasters.
Do you do roller coasters? Nope. Me either. Sass won't get naked. It don't do it. I don't do roller coasters. Do you do roller coasters? Nope.
Sass won't get naked.
It's not a risk.
Oh, that is a risk. I wouldn't say.
I'm risking something. It's a mental risk, if anything.
People are going to have me naked
on their wall. Yeah, but you like getting naked.
No, I do not. You've always been the naked guy.
Yeah, that is true.
Constantly naked. A guy who always dresses
in black.
Trying to hide how fat he is.
This is not a fat thing.
For me it is.
It's a rash thing.
I can give you my rash so you can see how it feels.
I'll give you my fat.
No.
Right, exactly.
Rashes go away.
Would you rather be just fat or fat with a rash?
That's what I'm at right now.
No, you're not fat. Well, I. That's what I'm at right now.
What?
No, you're not fat.
Well, I'm skinny fat.
I got rolls on rolls.
Skinny fat.
Yeah, rolls on rolls on rolls. Who says skinny fat or such pieces of shit?
Being skinny fat is way more gross looking than being fat.
Oh, my God.
I hate you.
I hate you.
But you don't even have bad angles like when you're sitting down.
Skinny catch myself.
I'm always wearing a sweatshirt.
Ah.
Skinny fat is not a real thing.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
You're just saying that because you've never been skinny fat.
No, you're skinny.
You're like, oh, I got a little tummy.
No.
And if I take a shit, I'm skinny again.
No, big tummy, big titties, small arms, small legs.
That's how it is.
It's way worse.
No.
You should rather have, like, you have big arms at least.
If you have big arms to go with your big stomach,
I have small arms to go with a massive stomach It's like when chicks are like
I want a guy with a dad bod
I don't even have a dad bod
And they're just talking about Chris Pratt
Pre six pack
He looked awesome
Dad bods are not
Girls don't want dad bods
They want the illusion of them.
They want the illusion.
They want KB.
Yeah.
Like, J.J. Watt posted a picture.
It was like dad bod loading, and it was just him ripped.
Yeah.
No, that's not how it works.
Not how it works.
You have a kid, and they get to call it dad bod.
Are you ever going to let yourself get chubby?
You should, KB.
That would actually be a great story arc.
KB is jacked right now.
He's toeing the lines with eating a lot of calories.
I don't think you are.
I saw you shirtless the other day.
You're wearing a white dry fit right now, dude.
That is...
What is toeing...
Do you put out a bunch of food and you're like, nope, not today?
No, I mean, I'm fully committed to trying to build muscle mass by eating a lot more protein.
You got super jacked. He is super more protein. You got super jacked.
He is super jacked.
But like super jacked.
Oh, you should have seen him
the other day
when he came in
with that white shirt on.
Holy shit.
Like uncomfortable to look at.
But if you put on
like 30 pounds of muscle.
Arms were exploding.
Yeah, it looked painful.
That's what I want to do.
Bad.
How much have you gained
since you started lifting?
Like 13 pounds.
That's a lot.
But like two Christmases ago,
you were like gross looking.
You were bad looking.
Yeah.
Bad.
That's mean to say.
No, no.
He was the one who sent me the picture.
I got the pics.
Let me see them.
It doesn't even look like him.
Like when we were doing quarantine together
in West Virginia,
you looked just like a different person.
Yeah.
Gross.
I always thought you looked good.
He's always been cute.
Lifting's easy.
As a button, but...
It's so easy.
You just lift.
It doesn't take any skill.
Yeah, but do you wake up early and go to the gym and do it?
That's the hardest part.
That's not.
That's what I...
It's just not.
I remember I tried to get in shape when I was, I don't know, like 22, 23, and I went
to a GNC and asked if they had any, like, powders
or pills that could help me, like, get stronger.
And the guy just was like, yeah,
it's these round
things. They're
usually black, and you put them on the bar,
and then you just lift them. And I was like, okay.
Oh, what a... I'm out of here!
What an asshole!
Oh, my God!
Okay, cool, man.
I've never been in a GNC.
I'm too afraid to walk in.
You're like all the people at GNC are on insane amounts of steroids.
I just remember being like, wow, I really feel like a piece of shit.
That's so much.
That's so mean.
Yeah, it's so mean.
What the fuck?
So, so mean.
But very funny.
Did you laugh?
No, I was mortified.
Yeah.
You were like, okay, what else?
No, I laughed.
I was like, okay, cool. All right, I'll mortified. Yeah. You were like, okay, what else? No, I left. I was like, okay, cool.
All right, I'll go lift them.
Dude, the GNC employees are like, they're too big.
They're all wearing like-
I don't think you can be too big at a GNC.
Have you seen that?
Would you buy supplements from somebody that's not too big?
Yeah.
I don't want to look like those guys ever.
Yeah, you do.
You want to look like a percentage of them, though.
You would take your shirt off if you looked like those guys.
I would always have my shirt on. Yeah, right. Your shirts want to look like a percentage of them, though. You would take your shirt off if you looked like those guys. I would always have my shirt on.
Yeah, right.
My shirts.
I have a confession.
There is a GNC near me that I've been to before, and the guy there is very heavy.
Not in a good way.
Fat?
Yes.
Listen, fat.
You should go in and say that to him.
It just kind of ruins the experience because I don't want to take your advice.
Yeah, fat shaming. It just kind of ruins the experience because I don't want to take your advice. I don't know.
That's shaming.
But at that place, I don't know.
Maybe that's asshole-ish of me.
I got a tattoo from somebody who doesn't have any tattoos.
That's kind of crazy.
Yeah.
Do you ever?
No, you can go.
No, no, no.
Go ahead.
But that is crazy.
That is crazy.
I found out during the tattoo when you
the first two artists
I would never do this
no they were just like
yeah like
I've always loved tattooing
but like
I have commitment issues
I was like what
they were like
yeah I don't have any tattoos
was it a good tattoo
yeah
well none of mine are good per se
yours was good
it was good stegosaurus baby Well, none of mine are good, per se. Yours was good. It was good.
Stegosaurus.
Ava, you ever take the pump formula?
What's that?
It just gives you, it makes it so you can get a pump easier.
What is the formula?
It's like a supplement.
Oh, no.
I'll give you some.
You have pump formula?
I want you to try it one time.
Yeah, give it to me.
Ask Billy about it.
It makes you, like, Billy posted a picture after he used mine.
He was like, I think Seth's taking steroids.
You explode.
Is it just a temporary thing?
It lasts for like an hour.
Aesthetics?
Okay.
You'll take it, and you'll look in the mirror, and you're like, dude, I'm God.
Yeah, give that to me.
I'm exploding through my, it literally feels like you're exploding through your skin.
It's what Arnold was talking about.
Oh, when Arnold talks about the humming?
That's what it feels like.
We find that clip?
You feel so fucking jacked.
I know.
Every now and then I'll watch that video and be like,
I really do want to start lifting.
It's always coming.
Your arms, your biceps, your triceps, your pecs.
It's like you flex and it feels like your biceps are exploding through the skin.
Fuck.
You've got to get on the formula, brother.
Do you have some now?
That doesn't sound healthy.
It can't be.
It is.
Everything is bad for your heart.
It is bad.
In a GNC, right?
Yeah.
I think so.
It has to be.
It's good.
What you just described sounds cool, but also
very dangerous. I think what it does
is it opens up your...
Yeah, so not good. Your veins
or something, so it gets more blood into the
muscles.
It's just coming. The greatest feeling you
can get in a gym, or the most satisfying
feeling you can get in a gym, is
the pump.
Let's say you train your biceps. Blood is rushing into your muscles, and that's the gym is the pump. Let's say you train your biceps.
Blood is rushing into your muscles,
and that's what we call the pump.
Your muscles get a really tight feeling,
like your skin is going to explode any minute.
It's really tight.
It's like somebody blowing air into your muscle.
It just blows up, and it feels different.
It feels fantastic.
What's this music yeah this documentary has a satisfying to me as coming is you
know as having sex with a woman and coming and so can you believe how much I
am in heaven I'm like getting the feeling of coming in the gym I'm getting
the feeling of coming at home I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage
when I pump up when I pose out in front of 5 000 people i get the same feeling
so i'm coming day and night it's terrific right so you know i'm in hell how he said it coming day
and night uh it's like uh coming when you're having sex with a woman yeah yeah yeah mark that
down please have that on the bet you that first gay bust
it has to be like incredible like the ultimate euphoria bus yeah when you're actually gay and
then you finally switch and like you gay bust it has to be the best feeling in the world yeah
yeah yeah first hit of a gb yeah that's a horrific mindset because everyone wants to be that.
At least like he did Terminator and politics.
Most of these guys, they become bodybuilders or they get into it and that's their entire life.
And their body crumbles.
All of their posts on social media are related to bodybuilding.
You have to have other things in your life.
But to maintain that, you really can't.
Oh yeah, you have to be in the gym for like five hours like to maintain that you really can't no oh yeah
you have to be in the gym for like five hours a day eating seems like not even that yeah the eating
is the worst i've watched videos about it there's like i forget who the dude was but like there was
like what he eats in a day and like his girlfriend has to like wake him up in the middle of the night
to like feed him like he's like a baby yeah it's a baby they can't have fun that's a newborn constant
if he doesn't woken to eat.
Yeah, because if he doesn't eat enough, he'll lose like 10 pounds in a day.
Fucking insane.
So terrible.
So unhealthy, too.
They don't eat for enjoyment.
Yeah.
Watch their day in the life.
It's fuel.
It's like going to a gas station. It looks like the jail has to be more satisfying.
100%.
Also, the culture in the bodybuilding world has shifted a lot since then.
If you look at modern bodybuilders now, they don't look like what Arnold looked like.
They're fucking traps or the size of mountains.
Yeah.
They don't look good.
Yeah, they look uncomfortable.
I still think they look good.
If you look, he was going for more of the Greek god physique.
Yeah.
Well, these guys are going for more of the fucking older.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then they put on a t-shirt and they look great.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they do.
A guy like that walks into a bar and no one's like, wow, he looks good.
Who's the top guy now?
What is it, C-Bum?
He's one of the top.
Can you find him?
He's 27.
I thought he was 40 the whole time.
Holy shit.
Sebum?
Yeah, it's not his...
C-B-U-M?
C-A-B-U-M?
C-B-U-M, but it's short for something.
They're also all on insane amounts of steroids.
Yes.
No.
People think they're not on steroids.
They're all on steroids.
They're natural.
Don't ruin this for me. I don't think they look good with a shirt on. They don't. steroids. How many nodes are there? They're natural. Don't ruin this for me.
I don't think they look good with a shirt on.
They don't.
I do.
If you get a big shirt on, you look goofy.
If you get a tight one on, you look like a douchebag.
No, I think they look good.
The only way it's cool to be that jacked, I think, is if you're a strong man.
You're doing strong man lifts.
They have big bellies.
That's C-Bum?
That's C-Bum?
Kyle?
Yeah.
Yeah, but now find C-Bum with a t-shirt on.
And not flexing it all bronzed up.
He looks like a freak.
Yeah, but that's when he's presenting.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's performance mode.
C-Bum.
Look at his ass.
Let me see his ass.
Go up to his ass.
Look, it's right there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
It's like shriveled up like a raisin.
Seabomb.
Yeah, I still think if he puts a t-shirt on, he looks pretty fucking good.
Probably, yeah.
He might.
He might look... Yeah, he really looks good.
Who are we fooling?
I'm coping real hard right now.
See if he's got an Instagram.
He can't make somebody laugh.
He looks sick.
Take back everything I said.
He looks so sick. You don't want to look like that? Go to his Instagram. He can't make somebody laugh. He looks sick. Take back everything. He looks so sick.
You don't want to look like that? Go to his Instagram.
Is he...
But you thought he was 40?
Yeah, maybe.
I'm just bad at ages sometimes, but...
I mean...
You thought Mincy was like 40 and he's 26.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Isn't Jerry like actually 26?
He's 27.
Yeah, that's fucking nuts. What Jerry like actually 26? He's 27.
That's fucking nuts.
What, I thought he was younger?
Yeah.
I thought he was my age.
No, you didn't.
I did.
Really?
Yeah.
No.
Aren't you tight with one of those influencer bodybuilders?
Am I?
I forget his name. Oh, you're talking about cory cory g oh yeah oh yeah
g yeah uh this friend of mine he's not he's not like he doesn't do these he just he just gets
people in really good shape and he has a job do you know the bradley martin guy oh yeah yeah
let's see c bum he got engaged. Seabum looks good. Yeah, Seabum looks good. Seabum looks really good.
Oh, I'm happy.
He looks good there.
He looks awesome in a shirt.
Yeah, he does.
You're wrong about everything.
Everything.
I was wrong about everything.
He looks great in a shirt.
Yeah, he looks phenomenal.
Yeah, yeah.
No, he looks phenomenal.
For him.
That's the thing is I feel like you get in that shape to put on any t-shirt.
He doesn't even look like a bodybuilder.
He looks like he's just like a professional athlete.
He looks like an NFL player.
He looks dope.
Chicken ketchup?
You think he probably is like...
He likes ketchup.
That's his cheat sauce.
That's his cheat sauce?
Yeah.
My YouTube algorithm is pathetic.
Remember when we did the Instagram explore pages
and mine was just all strong dudes?
Yes.
Mine now.
Yours were fat titties.
Mine was all like drawings of dragons and wyverns.
Dude, I used to be so into this stuff.
Why?
I don't know.
I was just so bad.
No, I get caught up.
You get into a mindset where when you're not in the gym, you're just watching videos of other people in the gym constantly.
And then if you're not doing that, you're looking at what people are eating.
Of course, it never worked for me.
Seabomb, what a legend.
He looks good in a shirt.
He looks great.
Do you think, though, there's a part of him where it's like,
I wish I was in the NFL or something, doing something that was...
Because that's one of those things.
You tell people you're a bodybuilder,
I don't know if that really impresses anyone.
Let's see him dunking a basketball.
He looks great.
He's just having a good time.
He's going to the club, too.
He's just a hot dude.
Damn, I didn't think he'd be having fun.
Yeah, he's just a hot, hot-ass dude.
Oh, man, he's got fans.
Jesus.
Yeah, C-Bomb got fans. Jesus. Yeah.
Seabomb.
Legend.
Wait, can I see him
dunking a basketball?
Maybe that's what I have.
The ghost brand.
It sucks to me.
That would be the only
thing that bothered me
if you're that good
of an athlete.
These guys look goofy.
These guys can always dunk
and it always looks
weird as fuck.
Yeah.
How tall was he?
He doesn't look that tall. that tall because he's so wide yeah
c-bomb good on him we're c-bomb guys now a big time we should have him on the show
you get some c-bomb permanent chair yeah i watched the Bradley Martin guy as a podcast
and he was interviewing autumn falls the porn star he was like are you so are you all natural and she was like yeah and he was like that's such a dub that's so lit
you gotta play it it was terrible it was excruciating he's like a part of the milk
boys now right yes is he yeah he's uh yeah he's always been he and like steve will do it do a
bunch of videos together so he's 6 6'1", 260 during season.
And then 225 off-season.
Actually, no, the other way around.
Sorry.
260 off-season, 225 in-season at 6'1".
Damn.
Fuck.
That's C-bomb?
Yep.
What would be harder?
That or the supermodels?
That.
Who are extremely skinny.
That.
I think there's drugs that can block you from having an appetite.
Called coccaderal.
Yeah.
I think.
They can't drink alcohol.
They do vodka waters.
You think?
Yeah.
Those top tier ones?
I still. I don't know.
Because alcohol marges your face.
It ages you.
They're probably getting a high off of not eating.
And drugs do too.
Also, if you're that skinny, you can drink one drink and be drunk.
Hammered.
That's pretty depressing.
That's pretty dark.
Yeah.
Just not being able to eat or drink anything ever.
Yeah, I think at least being a bodybuilder, you're like full always.
Yeah, but it's not good food.
You're eating like boiled goose.
Yeah.
For breakfast at like 1 a.m.
You got cheat days.
Yeah, they'll put like pepper on it.
I have cheat days.
Yeah, every day.
No. Most days. Yeah, every day. No.
Most days.
Yeah.
Some days I don't.
The Rock does his, the Rock's cheat day is just pancakes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those stacks.
Very weird to me.
Stacks on stacks.
I think it's pretty good.
McDonald's.
I would eat just ice cream.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm more into like salty food.
We had a moment where we were walking out of the LSU stadium
and we were trying to get out,
and there was an ice cream setup in the suite area.
And I almost stopped everyone,
and I realized I'm just going to get made fun of.
It was like five of us walking out.
I was like, hold up, hold up.
And then I stopped.
I was like, no way.
This is going to backfire.
Because everyone was just being been like We had to stop
For you to get ice cream
You to get ice cream yeah
Would've been a bad look
But I really wanted
That fucking ice cream
You should've gotten it
I know
That was your cheat day too
I know Saturdays
They're my cheat day
Didn't get to get your ice cream
That's a fact
Saturdays aren't my cheat day
Damn it
How many donuts do you have when you...
I usually eat
like a bite of pretty much every single
one of them. Not when I get 12.
12 is when I'm with other people.
But when I get 6, I'll have like
two and a half, three.
A bite of each. So you've made donuts and coffee
your thing. You're a cop.
Yeah, I'm a cop. I'm a cop. Mustaches,
donuts. Yep. Oh my god. I'm a cop. Yeah, I'm a cop. I'm a cop. Mustaches, donuts. Yep. Oh my god.
I'm a cop. That's true.
Dude, I went to Topgolf
this weekend. Me and
Mukwen. The security
there are like
heavily armed. Really?
Very weird. Yeah.
Like bulletproof vests,
pistols, like
really. It says Topgolf on it or was it just cops?
Oh, they said security on their vests.
Oh.
Can we Google this?
I want to see if there's art.
I don't know if it's all Topgolf.
I know, right.
It was in Minnesota.
Did you like Minnesota?
Yeah, I've been.
It's nice.
Downtown like Minneapolis, or like not like that, but Minneapolis is a nice city.
Is it a strip club?
No.
We went to this bar called Brits, I think.
It was awesome.
And Cowboy Jack's.
Two very fun bars.
Cowboy Jack's is where we did our whole entire Super Bowl week.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Fun bar.
We did a radio show from there every single day.
It was like three hours of the act.
It's a lot.
It's fun.
Yeah.
2019, 2018.
Damn, time's flying.
Time flies.
Yeah, actually, no.
I took a picture.
It's my one year at Barstool.
That's right.
Your one year.
It's also the 500th episode of PMT.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that does line up.
Wow.
Crazy.
People fall for that every time.
Every time.
Yeah.
I'll get a tweet and just be like, damn, happy one year.
We get tweets.
I get tweets almost every week saying 500th episode.
It's because Apple only loads 500.
Oh, I had no idea.
If you do the math, three times a week for seven years.
Jesus Christ.
You have to be over 1,000.
Yeah.
If I send this picture.
Math is bad.
I can't do math.
Three times a year for seven years.
That's over a thousand in one year.
Yeah, that's three.
So set.
That's like eight thousand.
Fifty two.
One hundred fifty.
One hundred fifty.
I can't do math.
It's not eight thousand.
Nine thousand.
So I have been.
It's not nine thousand.
Can't do fucking math.
All right, I'm going to do it three times.
I'm going to put your ass on this guy.
52 times.
Okay.
It's 1,000.
It's 7,600.
What?
No.
What?
You said you're doing three a year for seven years.
Three a week.
Oh, three a week.
Wait, what math was I doing?
I was doing 365 times.
I was doing three a day for 17.
Three a week.
Three a year for seven years is 21.
What episode of the Yak is this?
There's no way to figure that out, huh?
Oh, shit.
I think there's more.
When was the first episode, Steven?
January 17th, 2018.
So we're coming up on five years?
Wow, we got to do something for the five year.
Holy shit.
You're coming up on five years?
Yeah.
I feel like it's been a hundred with you.
Thanks.
Five years? Five flies when you're with people you love.
It's the opposite with me and Steven.
Wow, yeah.
Five years and maybe we do, because we're doing, who's the first birthday?
Is it TJ?
Or is it KB?
January?
26th.
Maybe we do it like a week early for our birthday show.
Do you want other people taking the glory from your day?
You've become a birthday guy.
Yeah, that's my day.
Well, we're going to have like...
Owen's birthday was yesterday.
Yeah, it was.
Whoa, those security guys are strapped.
Yeah, they're strapped.
Can we pull that picture up?
Those real guns?
Yes, dude.
They're armed to the teeth.
Or those taser guns. No, those are real guns because they had taser guns too Yes, dude. They're armed to the teeth. Or those taser guns.
No, those are real guns because they had taser guns, too.
Holy shit.
You should have tried to fuck around and find out.
Outside of Topgolf.
People get into antics at Topgolf.
That's true.
It's Antic City.
Yeah, they try to like...
This was just the outside team, too.
That would be...
You got a whole instance.
That would be one of the funniest videos ever if someone jumped in the net and they just lit them up.
You would laugh so hard.
It's the 409th episode of the Yak.
Of the YouTube Yak.
Of the YouTube.
Of the YouTube Yak.
Of the YouTube Yak.
Okay, all right, so I guess you would know that.
So we got to do something for 500.
Yeah.
Should have done something for 400.
Yeah, we still have 80.
420. Something for 420. 420 Yeah, we still have 80. 420?
420?
Oh, let's do a 420 episode.
That's 11 days?
Yeah.
I'll be around.
I'll be here.
It's the world record for world's largest blunt.
Let's beat it.
Fuck.
We should get one of those.
You ever see the video where they do the leaf blower?
Oh yeah
A pound of weed
Good god
Can we find that?
Can you play that?
You can play it
It's other people doing
No?
I don't know
It's a leaf blower
I have 10 milligram gummy bears
That I take and I just eat the ears
And then I get so high
Dude in Minnesota It's gonna be like half a milligram gummy bears that I take and I just eat the ears and then I get so high.
Dude, in Minnesota, that's going to be like half a milligram.
In Minnesota,
weed's illegal, but edibles are legal.
That's actually a smart way to do it. They accidentally signed that.
The guy that signed it didn't read the last
page of the...
So edibles are legal,
but you can't smoke weed.
Oh, shit. Can we watch this video?
Oh, there it is.
Look at this.
Jesus Christ.
Look at the mom.
It looks like a fucking
didgeridoo.
Look at that woman.
Oh, yeah.
Look at her.
She's token.
Oh, I just now saw
where the blunt was.
Yeah.
We should do that.
I'm looking for it
in the background.
Behind the giant blunt.
Yeah, behind the blunt.
I was looking way behind the blunt to find the blunt.
We should combine one joint for every show.
So 500 joints together.
420 joints together.
Yeah, that's a ton of joints.
Can we smoke 420 joints in one episode?
I think we can.
42 a person?
Good God.
Start working on it.
I would be so bad.
I would have to go to the hospital.
I mean, we know KB would.
Yeah.
You're going to be a dad.
You can't be fucking around.
Dude, you cannot be doing that shit.
No.
Not with a baby on the way.
You're a little atheist baby.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Your baby's not going to be christened, right?
You said that.
Yes.
He's going to Catholic school, too.
Good.
That was a test you passed.
I haven't forgot about the one true God or the church.
You're going to be a great great dad I'm pumped for you
I'm really pumped for you
I'm nervous
I'm
Me
Yeah for you
We're gonna be seeing a lot less of them
Yeah
That's true
That's what I'm worried about
It's just gonna be great
You're gonna make so many memories
That you run a black hole
I'm still working on myself though
I wanna be like the star
Of the family
Of my life
Yeah
I think you are even
You're the star of your life
Some people become parents
And they're
No I'm not the star of my life
Give up their life
Yeah
Give up their goals
Damn
Is it too late to
Have goals?
Oh, to abort?
Take care of it?
Well, no, you knocked her up in Alabama, right?
Yeah, where were you when you knocked up that woman?
Stop.
She's like eight months, too.
Yeah.
She's due any moment.
Weird for her to just let you know.
When we started the rumor that it's...
Kelly Martin's baby is KB.
I would love that.
She is not going to like that.
Not even a little bit.
Couldn't help yourself.
She's about to have her kid.
I'm excited for her.
You've got a lot of pregnant ladies walking around here.
It's something in the water.
Am I right?
The jizz we put in the water.
Yeah, that's probably what it is.
It's got to be jizz in the water.
Yeah.
We do put jizz in the water.
You should probably stop doing that.
Putting jizz in the water?
Yeah.
Oh, we want babies so that we can have fucking Viva La Stool lives forever.
That's true.
Pass it down.
Oh, man. What if a stoolie's future child isn't a stoolie?
Oh, my God, he'll be pissed.
You think he'd disown his kid?
Yes, I would be like...
What do you mean you don't fucking like King Richard's Fair?
I'd be like that episode of...
Son, what is this full send hoodie I put on your bed?
Yeah.
He's wearing a chai.
He's like, hey, dad, chive on.
Slaps him across the face.
What did you just fucking say to me?
Not in my house.
Bask in your everything.
Ignores the drugs under his kid's bed, but there's like a Bill Murray flag.
What is this?
I found this next to your Coke.
Your angel dust.
He's pouring happy dads into
high noon cans.
He's probably cheesing right now watching this.
He sent me a picture of his face
while we were on the show because he has a scar
on his forehead.
He slept in the bus both nights outside Fred's.
Did he?
Yes.
Why?
Was there water and stuff?
Well, we were hooked up to their generator,
and I think there was enough room for him to stay in a hotel.
Maybe not, but he just, like, Fred's is a very happening barn.
He stayed in an RV right, like, in Fred's, basically.
Did he use it to bang?
I don't know.
Did he bang?
Do we think he banged?
He's been there
more than anyone.
I know.
The chicken fried
Tori did the
Rediscovering America
Just ask him real quick
if he banged.
Actually bring him in
Zah.
Yeah bring him in.
I want to find out
did he bang on the bus?
Bang on the bus.
Would that make it, the bang bus?
That would be the best moment of his life, I think.
Fucking on the barstool bus?
Making a chive, baby?
Oh, my God.
You know where you were conceived?
It was the college football show.
Sponsored by Cheesy.
Is he not in?
Oh, he's probably...
Want to call him? Yeah, he not in? I want to call him.
He's probably still at Fred's.
Probably. He probably wouldn't even want to
bang on the Barstool bus, though.
Why not?
He'd kick the girl out. He'd be like, you're ruining this for me.
Yeah, right. It's true.
This was perfect.
The big cat lost the first half of Ohio
State line. I know what his voicemail box
is. There's no way.
Whoa, you're on the yak.
What'd he say?
I think he called me a ho-bag.
Jesus.
Oh, bozo.
Hey, you're live on the yak.
Did you bang on the barstool bus?
You don't even tell.
Fuck you.
Wait, ask him what he would do if his son was a big chive head.
What if your son was a big fan of the chive or bro bible or total frat move?
If he was a big fan of the shahive.
No, not the chahive.
He doesn't even know anything else exists.
He doesn't know anything else exists.
I'm shahive until I die.
Right.
All right, thank you, Fasoli. All right, good job, good job for solely he doesn't know anything else
exists it's actually funny to think that he doesn't exactly know but he won't even
no he doesn't have that ability to wordplay chive to chai high oh he just listens like he reads he
sees a part of the the word yeah it all links back to Parsons. Yeah, every single time. I fucking love him so much.
Will you pay
I think it was Caroline
that was maybe talking about it. She wants him
to turn into like 6'9 but just have Vivas
all over him. Oh shit.
I'd pay for that. Would you pay for that? Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
Well, man, we'll have to do that.
What if, yeah, one episode we all tattoo Viva on him?
Yeah.
Maybe during the 12-hour stream.
I mean, he would...
I think he wants us to do that.
Yeah.
That was the best moment of my life.
That's very infected.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, thank you.
Okay.
Oh, you're getting a tattoo on the 12-hour stream, right?
You were gung-ho.
I know.
I kind of want one, but I also don't really know what I would do.
I gotta think about it.
I do want one.
Yeah.
I want a full sleeve.
You'd look so cool.
I think I'd get in shape, too.
You wouldn't have to.
No, I think you get a full sleeve, and then you get in shape.
Yeah.
Distort it.
Yeah. Like
Chet Hanks. Yeah.
Does anyone here have a problem with the
word God? Get the fuck
over yourself. Did he say that? You guys didn't
see that video? He's future son.
You guys didn't see this video?
No. The Chet Hanks
motivational speech at a sober festival?
Okay, I want to see it. Oh, please pull this up.
Calgary.
He looks great.
Let me do the other ad while you find it.
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Do it.
It's Shady Rays, baby. Oh, you didn't baby oh you didn't already i don't have it
in me right now come on i can't believe you guys haven't seen this video 50 off two pairs of adult
non-prescription sunglasses shady rays.com with cody slash yak i wear shady rays all the time
they're the most comfortable sunglasses they look good you good. And they're not like $1,000 where if you lose them,
you need those sunglasses that look good,
but if you lose them when you're drunk doing something,
it's not like the end of the world.
Right.
That's Shady Rays, baby.
Shady Rays.
There was a long snapper from whatever college,
Montana State, that fucked up four times and got a safety for his own team?
No.
Snapped it over the quarterback four times?
What?
Did you guys?
All right, now we've got a couple of videos we've got to watch.
Like Weber State?
This video is really uncomfortable to watch.
Okay.
So you know he's like a motivational speaker now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
The word God.
Raise your hand if you got a problem with the word God.
KB has his hand raised.
You got a problem with the word God?
If it's.
Get the fuck over yourself.
Whoa. And I mean that with love, brother. Oh, okay. get the fuck over yourself. Whoa!
And I mean that with love, brother.
Oh, okay.
If you want to drink fucking knockoff RC Cola or a real motherfucking Coke,
every step that led me to here on this stage
talking to you guys
is through the grace of God.
Yeah, okay.
Take a kiss.
Watch your fucking mouth. Whoa! come on up here buddy i don't think you
can yeah yeah what was this see he's like doing a vulgar god guy it's not like a sober family
language for the children but i'll speak from the heart and i'll speak bluntly if you don't want
your children to
be exposed to profanity and just take them somewhere else right now respectfully well i
didn't share that with anybody i tried to blend in and not have anybody i never advertised that
shit i don't want anybody to know because i just wanted to be treated like everybody else
but i'm telling you now and if you guys are looking at me right now and you're thinking oh
man you probably think he's so much fucking better than me right now, and you're thinking, oh man, you probably think
he's so much fucking better than me. Fuck this guy.
Like that kook that was up here a few
seconds ago.
I don't care
today.
I don't care.
If you think that about me today,
I don't care.
But these are like other performances.
Was he supposed to be performing?
No idea what that was.
That was quite something.
What is this?
Dude, it's like he's at a recovery day in Winnipeg.
And he's speaking.
It's a family event.
Am I going to have to take him out of my big achievement story highlight on Instagram?
You might have to.
I think so. I wouldn't have any more achievements out of my big achievement story highlight on Instagram? You might have to. I think so.
I wouldn't have any more achievements on there.
I think you're done.
Oh, fuck.
All right, so here's this video.
Oh, yeah.
So you guys see this?
Yes.
It was a special needs student.
He just got blown off.
He was supposed to score a touchdown.
They were supposed to let him go score a touchdown.
Holy shit.
And one of the players just didn't get the memo.
I want to make a joke.
Look at everyone with their hands on their head.
He tackled him in special.
That was a terrible.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
That's like that old Jimmy Tatro.
Jimmy Tatro, yeah.
It's exactly that.
That'd be so funny.
Turnover on down.
Yep.
I saw it in your eyes.
This butthead on Weber State snapped it four times for safety.
Butthead needs to be used more.
It is so mean.
Yeah.
You fucking butthead over here.
That butthead's tough.
Four times.
We've got to bring back butthead.
Butthead had a weird area of where it was like flirty for a little bit.
Yeah.
It was.
You're being a real butthead right now.
Hey, what's up, butthead?
Yeah.
Not anymore.
Eat butthead.
Take the power back. Yeah. We need to take the power back.
Yeah, we need to start
just calling people butt heads.
I want to,
next person that walks by,
let's pull him in here.
Just be like,
you're looking like
a real butt head today.
You won butt head of the day
on the yak.
Okay, next.
Fuck off.
Oh, he really snapped it
four times?
Who's this?
Oh, we don't know
these people.
Can't get over it.
Now, he won't care. He won't? Oh, we don't know these people. Can't get over it.
He won't care.
He won't give us the reaction we want.
Come on.
Nick wants to tell you something.
Can you talk in the mic?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You forget which one's Nick?
Oh.
You just looked the wrong way.
Sorry, I didn't know which one was Nick.
We're doing a new segment on the show.
That was a unanimous decision.
You're the butthead of the day.
Get the fuck out of here, butthead.
Butthead.
Butthead.
Yeah, you fucking butthead.
Yeah, we'll throw the graphic up.
No.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
That's a 27.
That actually seems like that shook him up a little. That felt no. Oh, no. That's a 27. That actually seems like
that shook him up a little bit.
That felt good.
He was pissed.
He was pissed.
That cut him to his core.
Call someone a butthead.
He's upset.
He's going to take
my computer back.
Give you a Dell.
Hey, Nick,
we had a little software
problem with your computer.
Was it Weber State?
I can just tell you can imagine it.
It was the same thing every time.
Just snapped it?
Over the quarterback, past the end zone.
Safety, safety, safety, safety.
Four safeties?
Yeah.
Was he the backup long snapper?
I don't know what the deal was.
Is he in high school?
Is this high school?
This is college.
Division one.
Well, Ernie L's six putt at the first hole at the Masters once.
Have you guys ever sabotaged a game for your team?
Remember that?
You could forget that.
That was insane.
I think I was watching and I was like, what the fuck is going on?
You were watching?
Ernie L's, it was like three feet away, max.
Oh, so here we go.
Missed six times.
I found the video.
Ernie Els.
Wait, I want to watch that next.
Yeah, I want to watch that.
We got a whole nice little backlog.
That was, ah, fuck.
That made no sense.
Six putted in?
Six putted.
This wasn't like it was far away on the green.
It was right next to the hole.
Oh, I love it when they have to kick it out.
That was the last one?
Is that the fourth one?
Oh, he wasn't even close.
Holy shit.
This is multiple weeks into the season.
How is this happening now?
Right.
He's got the yips.
L's six putted.
The whole one.
The yips is one of the most fascinating things in, like, all sports.
Is he the Ernie Els of long snapping?
Yeah.
Remember when Chuck Knobloch couldn't throw to first base?
Was that a thing?
Oh, my God.
We have a full backlog of the yips now. You've got to find Chuck Knobloch couldn't throw to first base. Is that a thing? Oh, my God. We have a full backlog of the Ips now.
You've got to find Chuck Knobloch after this.
It was literally from second base.
He just could not throw to first.
That's something you have to do.
Yeah.
You just airmail it.
All right.
Fucking L's, dude.
Oh, my God.
So is that one?
Oh, my God. Oh my god So is that one? Oh my god
He keeps looking
Trying to figure out how he can blame this on his caddy
Nah it's the smile sigh
I can't even imagine how the wheels are spinning in your brain This is the first hole Oh!
Oh my god.
Man, that was hard to watch.
Heartbreaking.
You find Chuck Knobloch trying to throw to first base?
It was a whole thing.
He just couldn't do it.
Like a ground ball?
Yeah.
Couldn't do it.
How was he?
He couldn't throw the ball?
He would just airmail it every time.
And he was a second baseman?
Second baseman.
So that's the shortest distance.
It's crazy.
That's when I misspelled Graf in the spelling bee.
G-R-A-F-F?
Yeah.
How the fuck did you watch games like this?
That's how we would do it every time.
That's once.
I've seen that before.
Is this one game or a season?
I think it was like a full season.
I can't remember how long it was. I think it was towards the end of the season, if I recall.
But then it leaked into the playoffs, if I'm not.
Chuck Knobloch.
Yips.
K, are you a Yankees fan?
No, not at all.
But, I mean, this was a pretty big story.
In 2000, he began having difficulty making accurate throws first base
in conditions confirmed to as the yips.
Good slide.
Did he slide without his arms?
Was that just his head?
Oh, it ended his career.
I didn't realize that.
Dude, getting that much ridicule as an athlete is going to suck.
Yeah.
They get it worse than anybody.
If you ruin a game.
I can't imagine being Russell Westbrook right now.
No.
Yeah.
Bad.
Let's see. I scored a goal on my own net in hockey twice in the same game now different games one of them hit off of my skate and went into the goal
and then one of them i like tipped it and it went into the game what does the locker room say to you
i think i don't even know if I got to go in the locker room after. No, change outside.
Yeah.
Change on the ice.
Also, in Little League, my first game ever pitching, I let up a grand slam.
That's okay.
That's not all on you.
No, that's on me.
Chuck Dobok went to.
That one's tough, too, because you're just playing against kids in your school.
Yeah.
Charging the salt of your life.
You just have to go chill with them all day.
Oh, I don't know.
Damn.
Yeah.
I don't think there's just,
there might not be a lot of videos of it
because it's old.
One of my greatest achievements
in breaking down film was
I caught the Donnie, China Donnie, when he was playing that football league.
He gave me the game tape to break down over Christmas break.
And I found out that the center for the opposing team would get the yips if you got feet in his gap.
And the center was hiking the ball.
So Donnie gave that tip to the coach and then towards
the end of the game they started doing that and it resulted in two bad snaps including i believe
the potential tying two-point conversion that's actually impressive yeah yep very cool that's a
really good series donnie had yeah good find bonnie and julio should team up Yeah I wonder if they hate each other
Might
Probably
Probably hate
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah let's do it
Out here there's been good yakking
Yakagami
I think a New Zealand
Like women's soccer player
Like had a hat trick on her own goal
I saw that
I think Barstool
Like was tweeting about it
We got lampooned
And then we got
They turned on us Uh oh You don't show women's highlights But you show this trick on our own goal. I saw that. I think Barstool was tweeting about it. We got lampooned.
They turned on us.
You don't show women's highlights, but you show this.
I mean, a hat trick on your own goal.
I want to watch that again.
Yeah, me too.
After we get wet.
I scored on my own goal.
My dad told me after the game that if I was in Columbia, they would have executed me.
And we're getting wet.
You fucked me.
God damn it, Nick.
I didn't think...
I'll pump up a chat right now.
It sucks.
Well, just one of us.
Lydia, let's just turn in the wet dude.
Oh, yeah.
It's seven of us.
Poor TGA. Is that the new wet? It's one wet? Yeah, it Including the wet dude Oh yeah It's seven of us Poor TGA
Is that the new wet?
It's one wet?
Yeah it's one wet
I like that way more
Because it's way more of a punishment
Right and we realize
That getting everyone wet
Is not as funny
Right yeah
One guy wet
And TGA
Poor TGA
He's on it
No TGA is down
I'm praying he gets down
TGA is down
He's so down
But it also sucks for him
Say what you want about TGA
Call him dumb
Call him stinky
Call him a butthead
Call him a butthead
He'll get wet
Does he not want to say
Does he not want to speak
Oh no
No no he's setting up the wheel
I need him as
I need more of him
TGA texted me really drunk one night
I think he was really drunk
It was like 2am
And he just called me a straight edge pussy
Remember that time when he texted Dave
Oh the beer
That was awesome
So bad
I'm actually
Shout out TGA for like
Staying here
I would have
Quit Would you have? He's staying here. I would have quit.
Would you have?
He's mentally strong.
Yeah.
I would have quit.
I would have been like, I can't do this anymore.
Did you consider quitting?
Like, I think there was somebody who walked in on Dave taking a shit once.
I would have quit.
Oh, no.
The old office.
That I would have quit.
Would Dave, would he resent you for walking in on him?
I think, I mean, that's one of those things.
You have to be, like, angry even though it's no one's fault.
Yeah.
You're just at your most vulnerable.
I'd quit.
Yeah.
All right.
Elimination wheel.
One person's getting what?
How much of a dickhead would I be if I'm first off?
Oh, fuck you, Che.
God damn it.
What a dick.
This wheel looks tiny.
It is so small.
So small.
Sucks so bad, dude.
Sucks so much ass.
There we go.
Oh, fuck.
Damn right.
Bitch, it's already tight.
Yeah, no, I usually am like...
You needed the first two or else you're fucked.
I usually feel totally fine.
I feel very nervous. I might as well
go get in the fucking shower right now.
Oh, keep going.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Yes.
It's me. I fucked
us. It's going to be me. Yes.
We got a real
palate left there. Look at that. Yes.
I had a hacky sack that had the same color palate.
It was made by like Jester or there. Look at that. Yeah. It had a hacky sack that had the same color palette. It was made by, like, Jester or Joker.
That's fucked.
No.
Oh!
Bitch.
TGA's going to get wet.
TGA's going to get wet.
It's probably bad for the tech.
Yeah, his ass is going to get so wet.
Come on.
Oh, come on, TGA.
Come on.
Yes!
Fuck.
There you go.
Fuck.
That's awesome.
There's no better feeling than being like the random guy who gets added to the wheel
and not having to do it, but everyone's like, wow, he was so down.
He was so down.
Wait, wait, this is best of seven.
All right, so first to four doesn't have to do it, right?
One for Nicky.
So first to four doesn't have to do it.
Yes.
You want it to be.
It shifts at the end.
Yeah.
This ass is getting uncomfortable.
One nothing, Nick.
Good spin, Nick.
Wait, what?
Die, die, die, die, die.
Die, die, die, die.
Two nothing, Nick.
Two nothing, Nick.
Sass getting wet.
He's sweeping me.
He's reverse sweeping me.
This is the wheel being just because you wouldn't get naked.
I know.
Good groovy tune.
2-1.
2-1.
That was a big win for him.
Yeah, it was.
No one's come back from 3-0.
3-1. 3-1!
Over.
Sass?
Sass?
See you, brother.
That sucks.
We'll see you in a second.
He's in, like, all sweats, too.
He's going to be wet forever.
He's way more down.
It's so good that he has to do it.
Credit to Sass.
He's way more down for shit than he ever has been.
Yeah, the cheese steak incident with Billy,
I literally had to tell Billy,
like, look at what Sass is,
how he has changed.
I was like, you don't complain
before you do something.
You complain after
and everyone will have your side.
In the vlog, it got heated.
Billy is quite a stupid 22-year-old
at times.
Is he only 22?
23?
I love him, but man, his brain just shuts off.
And he also thinks, it was actually funny because at one point, I think it was after,
Max was like, Billy was like, you guys always make me do this shit.
You never do anything.
And Max was like, Big Hat does this shit every day on the heck yeah
hated double ritz twice we do a lot of shit you just being able to just be down for doing
random shit even if it's at your expense is a great quality to have here he comes
oh he's drenched he's very well drenched good work uh not drenched i wouldn't's drenched. He's very wet. He's drenched. Good work.
Not drenched.
I wouldn't say drenched.
He's wet.
He's wet.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that sucks.
You could have gotten the pants a little wetter, Sass.
People are going to be upset about that.
I don't give a fuck if they're upset.
Those are pretty dry pants.
Nah, you got your butthole, though.
Your asshole is real wet.
I just spun around.
How many times did I spin?
Three?
And then I dumped my head. You're wet. You're medium wet. Your asshole is real wet. I just spun around. How many times did I spin? Three? And then I dumped my head.
You're wet.
You're medium wet. Your hair looks good.
Yeah.
You're so cute.
You're so cute when you're wet. You should get wet more often. Did you see a kid went as sass for Halloween already?
I did see that, yeah.
Really? He looked just like you.
He looked exactly like me. It was weird.
He looked exactly like you.
It's on Twitter. I think we got the Joker. He looked exactly like me. It was weird. He looked exactly like you. It's on Twitter.
I think we got the Joker.
He's wearing that sweatshirt.
Sweatshirt.
But like, did they do his makeup underneath to make his face look like yours?
Was he blackout drunk?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, I was thinking like it was a college kid or a child?
College kid.
Really weird if he was a child.
Yeah.
Kind of funny though.
Somebody sent us a video of them singing,
it was a woman singing their baby,
the anus theme song.
Oh, I saw that.
Yeah.
That was funny.
Yeah.
Liam, that Pete won butthead of the day.
Pete, butthead of the day.
Butthead of the day.
Butthead of the day.
All right. I was in the airport with you where were we coming from probably la no chicago a woman gave you her baby to take a picture with i that was yeah that was
weird no it was nice it was nice but yeah i be uncomfortable. Yeah. I'm not good around babies.
Yeah.
I guess I'm going to have to be, though.
Uncle Nick.
We should baptize your baby with the wet wheel.
Yeah.
That would make your mom happy.
Yeah.
We get a priest to come in and bless the wet wheel.
Oh, my God.
Has she texted you yet?
About this. Yeah. About we get a priest to come in and bless the wet wheel? Oh, my God. Has she texted you yet? About this?
Yeah.
About something else?
I think she's at Monday Church right now.
They have Monday Church?
They have it every day.
That's hardcore.
Does she go to Monday Church?
What day does she miss?
I hope not.
Yeah, Monday Church is a bummer.
Yeah.
That can't be fun.
What day do we go in school?
You're a mis- We didn't go.
We went to church during school.
Like on holy holidays.
I thought it was more often than that.
Monday's trip clubs and churches.
You don't want to do that.
Sushi restaurants. Really? They use weekend's fish? Mondays trip clubs and churches you don't want to do that sushi restaurants yeah
really
they use weekends fish
I think so
or maybe it's Tuesdays
maybe
I don't know
fuck it
all same to me
alright
alright
see everyone tomorrow
yeah
good show boys
I think everyone's back
oh yeah we're doing the
calendar shoot.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
10x later bitches