The Yak - Sas Had Dave Portnoy SHAKING at Rough N' Rowdy | The Yak 8-22-22

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

Put Sas in the boxing Hall of FameYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoo...lyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello. I'm low energy. Are you? I need to pick me up. Hello, everyone. It's Yak.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Is that a new boy dad shirt on? This is a brand new never before seen Yak. I think a combo we've never done. Sass. Yeah, never. Jersey Jerry. Myself, Brandon, and Owen. The boys. The boys. How's everyone doing? You know. Jersey Jerry, myself, Brandon, and Owen. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:00:46 The boys. The boys. How's everyone doing? I'm doing great. My voice is a little hoarse. It's okay. Is it from Saratoga? Yeah, rough and rowdy Saratoga. Great weekend.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Best rough and rowdy we've had in a while. Rough and rowdy, so fucking funny. Yep. Fat guy's flipping over the ropes multiple times. The Abel brothers are stars. And they hit me and Dave up for 6K before the fights. He was killing me every time he called out Aaron Carter. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Like, first of all, the Abel brothers. I don't know. Can we play some highlights from the Abel brothers fight? Check out their podcast with the subjects George Floyd. Yeah, I went and looked at it, and it was shocking. They're Nick Poylesque. Yeah. I can't remember which one.
Starting point is 00:01:31 The second one, Able Brother. I mean, just. You and Dave's laughter during that one was incredible. I couldn't contain myself. I was crying they the able brothers calling out aaron carter and making up a random rough and rowdy date and location was fantastic like i want aaron carter december 2nd charleston west virginia we won't be there but now maybe i they're so electric i was like maybe we will be
Starting point is 00:02:08 there people were just throwing out dates is providence the next one because people were doing that too yeah i don't think it's been announced but there there is going to be one in december i believe i like that move though just pick a date in city yeah just be like yeah i'll see everyone november 14th in Amarillo, Texas. I wonder if December 2nd is even a Friday. Yeah, who knows? But that's just them. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:02:31 I forgot to bring that in. What? I have this. You're bringing the documentary? God damn it. I'm going to watch that. I know. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:02:40 I'll bring it in tomorrow if someone reminds me. December 2nd is a Friday. It is. Nailed it. We have to watch that documentary. Someone handed me a documentary. It's called Coach Tank, and I still don't really understand how it was made, who made it, what it's about. They just handed me and David a DVD as we sat down to do Rough and Rowdy.
Starting point is 00:03:00 So we have to watch that. Frank was standing there during that fight watching them fight like that. Oh, yeah. Frank was hovering over them. Front and center right behind us the whole time. What were you? He was on his phone the whole time. The whole time.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Jerry, Sash, you guys were there? Sat next to each other. Sat next to each other? Talk at all? Yeah. What did you guys talk about? Oh, congratulations, Sash. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:03:20 And Jerry O'Day. 1-0. 1-0. Jerry, were you gassed? I saw you shadowboxing every fight. I was tired. I was tired. That's a lot. That's a lot of effort beat. 1-0. 1-0. Jerry, were you gassed? I saw you shadowboxing every fight. I was tired. I was tired. That's a lot.
Starting point is 00:03:27 That's a lot of effort. You were in it. I respected that. I was hella out of it. Yeah, but me and Sass pretty much took our relationship to the next level, I guess. Oh, really? He was texting a lot. Were y'all boys?
Starting point is 00:03:35 Yeah, I mean, yeah. The only thing I will say is I wish we were able to hear Big Cat and Dave at the fight. It was incredible. The whole thing was the fight It was It was incredible The whole thing It was fun though It was a really fun night Yeah It was very fun
Starting point is 00:03:50 You couldn't hear them at all No Damn You were like close Change seats with Frank next time It was loud It was loud there Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:56 Super loud yeah Yeah I'm trying to think What other memorable I mean the First fight The cartoon knockout I still can't get over that guy
Starting point is 00:04:03 He still doesn't know he got knocked out. He bounced, Big Cat. He bounced. He went like he was as stiff as a board and bounced. Can we see that one, TJ? Apparently that's like a common thing, though. Like when fighters get knocked out, they just don't know. Yeah, he was ready to get his hands lifted to win.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Caleb after was like, what do you think happened? He's like, I don't know. We just fought. Like any big knock happened? He's like, I don't know, we just fought. Any big knockouts? He's like, nope. Yeah, I was listening to an episode of Joe Rogan where he was talking about some guy that he had on the podcast and the guy was like, I didn't get knocked out.
Starting point is 00:04:37 And they had to show him the video and be like, this is you getting knocked out. That kind of happened the other night. That guy that took the big kick to the face acted like he won the fight afterwards. Yeah, they have no idea. Look at him. He's just... Look how hard he night. That guy that took the big kick to the face acted like he won the fight afterwards. Yeah, they have no idea. Look at him. He's just.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Look how hard he bounces. That's crazy. It was like 20 seconds in, too. And then we went to Saratoga. Had a hell of a time in Saratoga. Beautiful polos. Thank you. Oh.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Oh. Wait, what happened? Wait, what happened? Wait, what happened? It's a flash knockdown. So he got knocked out by the punch, knocked back in by the floor. Yes. Dave spends the next 30 minutes trying to figure out what game brand was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Jesus Christ. I don't think I saw that one mark. It happened 20 seconds into the whole card. Yeah. Oh, really? It was that fast. Yeah. It was incredible.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Uh-oh, Frank. Uh-oh, he's out. Frank. His vision's based on movement. Don't move. There was a moment before. Oh, he's waving to the people at home. There was a moment before in the green room where I said it was like,
Starting point is 00:05:46 it was incredible because Jerry quickly became like the fourth craziest person in the room. It was like Frank was sitting there. Kirk walked in. Who else was in there? There was other people who walked in and it was just like. I went silent. Yeah. All of a sudden it was like, you know, it's a crazy room when Jerry's like the most normal person in the room.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Jerry was sleeping in the corner because he had a headache. Was Stu Finer? Was Stu Finer? Stu Finer was in there. Yeah, Stu, yeah. Got into drag by the end of the night. Stu came in just talking like he was in a morgue. It was very weird.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I don't know. He just like, I think he thought maybe Alex was going to lose. I think everybody did. Yeah. Stu was like super nervous. Yeah. Which I was shocked by. I was like, I did not think that Stu could have that emotion.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Yeah. I'm proud of Doug's. He got his ass kicked. Stood in there, though. Stood in there. He yelled his hand. It's also very funny that Dave aptly pointed out, like, I didn't know we had a war with Canada. Doug's like, I'm fighting for freedom.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Wait. Canada's pretty free. Vaccine mandates and such. That's true. The truckers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Blue Jays having an advantage over.
Starting point is 00:06:58 That's true. It was a little bold, too. He knew he was a dog, and he also just put all of our independence on the line. Yes. Yes. So we have to give that up. I'm trying to think what else three rounds is impressive so that's done we're not free anymore nope nope yes saratoga was fun we hit big gary lost his mind almost fought us well no i didn't i was mad at you yeah i know for the polo? Well, no. So how it works is we split. All four of us are betting. And then if you win, take back what you bet.
Starting point is 00:07:31 But then you split the winnings four ways. And we were at race eight or nine. And Jerry was up on the day, and he hadn't won a single bet. Yeah, so I was profiting. I was just handing him money. So I finally handed him. It was probably the i was just handing him money so i finally handed him it was probably the third or fourth time i hit it i hit him two thousand dollars cash and i was like there you go buddy you're still up he stormed off and he was gonna get an uber
Starting point is 00:07:54 from saratoga he was so mad yeah i mean he hit one it's a shitty feeling you know when you're not hitting and you're just taking people's money. And I hit it big. Yeah, pull up that video of Jerry hitting it big because I actually thought he wanted to fight me. Elio held me. Elio, I thought. Yeah, held you back.
Starting point is 00:08:15 It was like, we're going to fight. Yeah. And really, you just hit like a $35,000 ticket. Yeah. It's crazy. That's gambling, baby. It is. It is.
Starting point is 00:08:24 That's good. You you guys do you find the racehorse track to be like a cotillion for gambling etiquette what do you mean like i feel like that's where it's most clear there's so many unspoken rules yeah so even than just sports betting yeah it was hard we play it it's it was it's You wouldn't think this guy won a big bet. Let's go, Jerry. Let's go, Jerry. Come on. Come on.
Starting point is 00:09:05 I knew my boy would do it! That's a monster right there! Oh my God! You had the same exact bet. The horse track is... There's nothing like horse racing because it's... If you've never been, it is the best way to spend an afternoon
Starting point is 00:09:24 because every 20 minutes or every 35 minutes, there's a new race. You can have moments like that. But the biggest problem is, you know, at Saratoga, obviously there's a lot of stoolies. When things are going bad and people are asking for pictures, it's hard. It's very hard. That was the hardest part because, like, I love meeting stoolies, but, like, when we're getting our dick kicked in, someone, like, wants to talk.
Starting point is 00:09:51 It's like, dude, I just lost, like, a heartbreaker. Yeah, that's very tough. Yeah. Or, like, I would go up to put in a bet, like, right before the race starts. And someone would be like, hey, can I get a picture? Like, dude, can I get my bet in and then I'll do it? But, yeah, it was a great time and it's like one of the only sports where you can have a come-up like that that big yeah and jerry's a rat we also found that out why does it come huh how come
Starting point is 00:10:17 listen i'm i don't think it was ratting you know i'm big tone i'm a big tone guy whatever and like you know big tone's been pressing me he's been pressing me for a couple couple months now you know what's going on you know what i mean i'm trying to get in i'm doing all these things i'm doing this and i just broke it to him you know uh i had a conversation with dave one day and he's like i mean i could say it's public yeah right yeah yeah i mean i had a convo with Dave one day, and he said, you know, Jerry, he's cringy on Twitter. He's a cringy guy. So, I mean, I told Big Tone, I said, hey, listen, maybe tone it down on Twitter a little bit.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Dave thinks you're cringy on Twitter. You know, slow it down a little bit, and then maybe, like, you know, you could be in the mix and stuff like that. And then Big Tone at the race track went up to Dave. Big Tone was in the box with us. He just came. You invited him? He showed up. I actually didn't invite him in the box.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I think he just found us. He's not a bad guy. He was good with etiquette. He was good with etiquette in the box for sure. And then at the end of the day, he just went up to Dave one-on-one and was like, hey, I know you think I'm cringy. Dave had to be like, no, no know you think I'm cringy. Dave had to be like, no, no.
Starting point is 00:11:28 What? So Jerry's a rat. Everything you tell Jerry, he'll tell someone else. That's good because we don't typically hire cringy people. Sure, that's a fact. Big Tone, though, then Jerry sent him a text being like, hey, it's not going to work out. And Big Tone was like, I'm just going to work harder. I'm just going to follow you guys even more.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Yeah. Well, I mean, Dave, we're supposed to go to the readers. And I know in the group chat, Dave was like, I don't know. You know, Jerry's a rat. And I was like, fuck this. I'm done. You know, I'm going to text Big Tone. I sent him a long message like, I like you a long message like I like you You're a good dude
Starting point is 00:12:07 Breaking up with him? I don't know if you're right though I think that was kind of nice to tell him Yeah but you don't have to say There's a way to say it You can just be like Put it on Dave You got to tone it down
Starting point is 00:12:18 Not Dave thinks you're cringy And then he walked up to Dave and was like Heard you think I'm cringy That's a tough spot That's a wild move That's a tough spot. That's a wild move. That's a tough spot to be in. And it's also a tough spot to be in. I mean, I'm getting pressed.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Oh, you got to learn how to beat the crowd. Also, walking up and saying, heard you thought I was cringy is one of the cringiest things you can do to Dave. But that's the thing with Big Tone. I think he doesn't care. I think he's just like, I'm going to power through. No, the response back was, he'll be in Miami. Yeah. He's like, I'll be in Miami care I think he's just like I'm gonna I'm gonna power through the response back was he'll be in Miami yeah he's like I'm gonna he's like I'll be in Miami one day and
Starting point is 00:12:49 Dave's crew he's gonna power through it which I respect that in a weird way it's it's probably not gonna work out but he really he's like I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing I'm just gonna do it even harder and then Dave will someday be like, oh, not cringy. Yeah, I think everything's cyclical. Oh my god. What? What? What were you saying, Owen?
Starting point is 00:13:14 No, I think everyone was curious what you were saying. It was all good. Brandon, you have a beef with Mincy now. No, I don't. I called him. We squashed it. Oh, you did? I called him about an hour late. It was the weirdest beef I've ever had because it was the most innocent thing.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I've said a lot of shit about him, and he got mad at the most innocent thing I've ever said. Yeah. And it was just, and I was like, okay. What did you say? I called, and I said, I made fun of him last week when Dan made the Mincy Land Delight joke, said somebody should make a song. Somebody made the song, and then they made a shirt and mince went on twitter and said i love this so much i'm gonna give the guy 50 of the profits if it hits uh or 50 of the bonus if it's a merch i'm like
Starting point is 00:13:53 wow what a what a giving guy give me 50 of something you had nothing to do with and uh he he did not like that oh he went after you he got pissed the most piss he's ever been and i've called him cross-eyed. I've called him all kind of things. And that was the bridge too far. So you guys are good now? Yeah, I called him. I called him on Friday and said, let's figure this thing out.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Well, that's good to know that greed is something that strikes a chord with him if you ever need it. It doesn't really seem like a let's figure this out thing. It kind of seems like you have to figure it out. Right? Okay. All these stories, he seems to be fine. I mean, it seems to be a pretty one-sided. I called, no, he took shots at me Friday, and then I called him.
Starting point is 00:14:31 After you've taken like 10,000 shots at him. That's why I was hired. One thing about him. He was hired to be my enemy. Yeah, I take shots at him. Are you a little nervous that like when I, like we had a good day at the track, a couple of those, put those in a row that's $350
Starting point is 00:14:47 what? $350 cash tattoo I mean I've agreed to it I'm nervous you're not going to get it done right here you know what's crazy is that you never asked anything about size
Starting point is 00:15:03 I think y'all were saying it. Y'all were saying it. You said it had to be Stephen Chay's size. And he also has never said on the arm. Oh, it's going to be right here. I could put it right here. You can see it all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:14 I want to actually wear it right in the ear so when you're jerking off, you see his face. That would be perfect. Work off of an Iverson sleeve. Maybe we'll make his tits really big. That would be so funny. Lifelike. What about property amendments and an arrow pointing towards your cock?
Starting point is 00:15:29 I like that too. Like a mall t-shirt? Why? Then I wouldn't see it if it were on my chest. But anytime you're fucking, he's fucking his head. All right. You could do a lot of different things. 350 is 350.
Starting point is 00:15:41 350 is 350. That's a fact. Do you guys want to hear something today? I was thinking, like, what are we going to do because i like i said i'm a little low energy you're thinking about maybe tearing something yeah we can tear something what does the chat want us to tear let's get into a debate let's get into a stupid debate chat throw out suggestions now food tears are always contentious yeah they are. Let's tear some shit. TV tears, movie tears. We were having the debate on part of my take
Starting point is 00:16:10 about emasculating a man and the difference between buddy, pal, chief. And boss. Yeah. Which ones do you think are the worst? I think pal's pretty bad. Pal is really bad. I think buddy can be bad.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Chief is fine and boss is fine, in my opinion. My mom calls me Powell. Really? Oh, that's a verbal bitch slap, dude. There you go. Really? Well, yeah. I mean, you live in her house and don't pay rent.
Starting point is 00:16:33 I don't pay rent, but I help out. Right. Powell seems to assert the higher. How much do you help out? I help out more than I have to, I'd say. I think Chief is pretty bad. Big head of your topics. It's moving too fast.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Half of y'all shut up. I can't. Hottest Barstool employees. No one's ever done that. Should we do hottest pregnant Barstool employees? Oh, we could do Pokemon. We could do Pokemon and just fuck with Nick. Let's do a quick
Starting point is 00:17:03 Pokemon just based on... Yeah, let's tier some Pokemon real quick, then we'll do a different one. Just based on their looks? Oh, I like gas station snacks tier. No? No. I don't like that one.
Starting point is 00:17:17 I don't know. I didn't come up with one, Sass. Comedians? No. Let's tier comedians. Yeah, the last station snacks is just so overdone, I feel like. We're doing that on the way to... Show'll just tear them off off look alone if we tear comedians i've never heard of tom segura so i hope that's okay that is i don't really think
Starting point is 00:17:34 that's that weird people were freaking out about that i don't think that's that crazy what that josh didn't know who tom segura was which josh josh just sat here and challenged rome to a fight oh rap battle. It seems like he didn't know a lot of things. Yeah, I would. Yeah, I mean, but he doesn't like that kind of comedy, so. Comedy, comedy? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:56 All right, here we go. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. We're going to tear all of them? No, we can't. What's? This is too many. Who did this? All of those ones at the bottom.
Starting point is 00:18:05 I like that blue circle thing in the middle. I like the red dragon guy right there where the mouse is. He seems like a good dude. Which one? Charmander, Charmeleon, or Charizard? You know these guys. The original ones, yeah. Who's the guy top right doing the scene from The Office with the guns?
Starting point is 00:18:21 Jerry's right there. Let's put Jerry in the top tier. Which one's Jerry? See him right there, that rat Oh, Squirtle, is that Squirtle? Is that a snake? No, Squirtle, yeah Squirtle's an A tier
Starting point is 00:18:34 What about Bulbasaur? Oh, Bulbasaur's not as good No, he's a C tier Can we put Pikachu in should have been a Yu-Gi-Oh tier? Oh yeah, Pikachu's a... I think Pikachu's lame. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:51 What's that? What is that? A piece of grass? What is that? A piece of lettuce? This is Metapod. Yeah, he's an S tier. He starts as Caterpie, and then it turns into a Metapod, and then it turns into Butterfree.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Well, I don't like the butterflies at all. Give us the Metapod as an S tier. Metapod's best move is Hardin where it just gets harder. Oh, nice. And doesn't do anything. Okay, perfect. He's S tier. We got to just fill out.
Starting point is 00:19:16 What about Beedrill? He's like a big B. And what does he do? With a drill. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, put him in the S tier. Yeah. Is that a porcupine down there?
Starting point is 00:19:27 This one's called Ekans, which is snake spelled backwards. Get it? Okay. Yeah, he's a B tier. And then this one's called Arbok, which is cobra spelled backwards. Get it? TJ, are you- Put him in the B.
Starting point is 00:19:39 I watched Pokemon as a kid. You're a fucking nerd. Just fill out the rest. I don't really know. Yeah, we're done. Yeah, I just want to tweet it at Nick. Yeah. Got it.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Or actually, can you just put every single one in D tier? No, no. Let's make it so that people are like, oh, shit. Can you scroll down a little bit? It actually did this? Yeah. What about Goldback? What about Weeping Bell?
Starting point is 00:20:00 What about Weeping Bell? Is that a cat? Is this Weeping Bell? It looks like a flashlight. Okay, yeah. Put him in the S tier. What's an objectively bad one that we can put in the S tier? And what's an objectively good one we can put in the bottom?
Starting point is 00:20:12 Is that guy a cloud? Is that a palm tree? Which one's a cloud? There's coughing. He looks like a cloud. What are those balls? Are they just balls? This is Voltorb and...
Starting point is 00:20:21 You know all of these. Jesus Christ. It's just the original 151. Yeah, it's just the original 151. He's 151. Yeah, put the eggs in the S tier and then put him in the bottom. Those are like balls. We'll put Mewtwo in the bottom
Starting point is 00:20:37 because he's like one of the best. Okay, beautiful. Okay. Alright, perfect. I just want to tweet it Nick Good tiering right there Are there any openly LGBTQ plus Pokemon? I would say Jinx and Mr. Mime are probably like that Alright put one in the S tier
Starting point is 00:20:56 You assuming their gender? Jinx Well they're the only like humanoid ones Okay now put Put like some of the popular ones in the bottom. Okay. Can you just go get a Mario character and put him in there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Can we put Luigi to this or something? Can you? I think so. All right, yeah. Let's add Luigi. And I'll put him in S. And maybe Ben Mintz in S. Transgender got his ass beat at Rough and Roundy.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Is it her ass? Her? She just loaded up with those ones. And her ass was beat. And her ass was beat. I thought. Yeah, the crowd was a little too pumped about that for mine. Yeah, she was, he was, whatever.
Starting point is 00:21:37 No, you got it. He's getting messed up. The whole entire time I was just thinking of that Shane Gillis bit in his special where he's talking about how, like, if you want rights, you need to start a good football team. Yeah. He's talking about the trans girls, and he's like, them some tough bitches. Oh, man. Yeah. Biggest surprise fight was that girl in, like, Lulu pants just walloping the tatted girl at the toe.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Yes. That tatted girl was definitely yeah also advertising yeah i thought she was gonna be yeah she got her ass kicked yeah it's it's it's tough when you come in with like a shitload of tats and get your ass kicked and rough and rowdy and she called it she didn't get knocked out either she was just like i'm done i think one of the fighters nobody mentioned this he was high on meth meth and he killed his best friend. What? Killed his best friend, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Oh, is that the guy who went to jail? I think so. Yeah, fuck. He got, like, messed up one night. He got high and he just killed his friend, I think. That's a pretty crazy night. I wish Caleb would have brought that up on the stream. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 That's kind of a downer. You should have asked him. So what was it like when you murdered your best friend? Let's talk about that. Any regret? Tough to answer. What should we tear? If you guys had to murder, would you murder somebody you knew or a stranger?
Starting point is 00:22:57 Stranger? What the hell does that even mean? What does that mean? I'd go American Psycho. I'd just murder some homeless people. It's like the old hypothetical, the button. Didn't they make a movie out of it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:09 How many times did you press the button, Brandon? If it was $100,000 every time you pressed the button. Somebody dies? Someone dies. I would press it willy-nilly. I would really press it. What if it killed someone you knew? It'd probably stop, but how close do I know them?
Starting point is 00:23:23 Very close. Yeah, it'd stop then. But you can't yeah but they didn't know till it happened i know but it would it would affect me enough it would finally affect me i would finally have feelings about the button and i would not be able to keep doing it yeah or would you be like well fuck it already killed uh yeah someone close to me some of that too and then i'm so so sad i'm just like i'm just like yeah in the uh between two ferns movie they interview who's john legend's wife chrissy teigen that's right uh they interview her and she said she got famous by hitting a button and killing mr rogers really yeah as a
Starting point is 00:23:57 bit but she got famous funny had big titties i don't know the general The joke is that nobody knows. She got famous because she sucks. Yeah. I hate her. Yeah. I mean, it's... She literally got famous. She's a swimsuit model, right? I've had a long standing...
Starting point is 00:24:13 I can't wait for them to break up. And watch the internet explode. You don't think so? That would be legendary. Nice. That's beautiful, Brandon. Thanks. All right, do you have it, CJ?
Starting point is 00:24:25 Do you have to finish tier? There's so many fucking things. Have you guys ever seen Death Note? You don't have to do too much. I'm going to put Luigi and Ben Minson. Okay. What? Have you guys ever seen Death Note?
Starting point is 00:24:36 No, what's that? It's an anime, but he has a notebook where he can write down any name in the book and it can kill someone. Would you use that? You watch a lot of movies, don't you? No, that's a show. Or the same thing. I've actually, like, I've only seen a few episodes of the show.
Starting point is 00:24:51 I'm not a big anime person. Oh, Casey is pregnant. That's great. Got knocked up. How long have you known about that, Brandon? About two months. Wow. I've known probably for a month.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Yeah, I've known for, from the beginning, right after they had sex. She texted me. O'Malley. One felt like it stuck. Alex! They just found out Alex won. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:25:18 They just what? O'Malley, like, tackled her. I think they just found out she won. No, O'Malley was there. She was there. Yeah, no. Owen was joking. Oh.
Starting point is 00:25:30 No, she called out a fight. Did she call out a fight? Yeah, she's fighting in the next one. You want Alex? Eh. She's right there. I want her to fight again. I'm retiring.
Starting point is 00:25:40 She can't fight, but she can. You are? Yeah, I'm out. Why? Done. Dude, you're 1-0. Come on. I don't know. What went behind the choice of your outfit?
Starting point is 00:25:48 I was at Walmart, and I didn't know what to wear. Everyone was like, Blues Brothers. Yeah, but the Blues Brothers, they wear white shirts. So not quite. A little different. It would have been great if you and Frank both were Blues Brothers. It would have. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:02 And Dave, I think Dave was a little salty because I was wearing a way better fit than him and he was trying to wear what I was wearing. Damn. Should have gotten Dave a fedora. He would have been throwing, we would have been throwing fits. Did you text us something along the lines of, I think Dave is nervous around me?
Starting point is 00:26:17 No, I said it. No. Well, that, I mean, don't put me on the spot like that. That's not at all what I meant, though. What did you mean by that No I'm not gonna This was
Starting point is 00:26:26 That was out of line Why So what part of Do you think he was nervous No I think We're both socially awkward people I don't think Dave's socially awkward Okay
Starting point is 00:26:37 Well I don't want to talk about this He's just socially awkward Wait is he nervous by your Your comedy or like No No How good you are? No.
Starting point is 00:26:46 You don't miss. He's coming for the throne. What do you think he's nervous about? I don't think he's nervous. This wasn't the question. I don't want to get into the full thing. Sounds like he's nervous. I kind of feel bad for Dave.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Yeah. What's nice about the Belmont St is uh it's actually more fun to go not the day of because the other 364 days a year it's byob and you can get coolers and it's a real good time get yourself out of this huh um well yeah why don't you have to get you out of this i don't think it was that big of a deal no i don't either let's read the goddamn ad on no saskin no i'm not That cadence that instills fear in our boss. You think Dave's
Starting point is 00:27:28 scared of you? No, I don't. You want to call him? Do whatever you need to do. All right, someone do the ad. Two ads.
Starting point is 00:27:43 What is a men's grooming line that offers products across hair, body, beard, and shave. It works and smells as good as it looks. My favorite scent is Piquant Golden Hour. The product I use most is shampoo and conditioner, and it's all $15 or less. Shop Wood at getwood.com or at your local CVS. Brandon, you use it as well, no? Yeah, sure do.
Starting point is 00:28:05 That's what I do. I also use Shady Rays. You can't overlap ads like that. I thought it was time to go into it. No, no, no, no. And they're asking for sass for Shady Rays now. Yes, I'm a Shady Rays guy. That's a fact.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Brandon tried to steal it from me. You see that shit? I just look cool in them. He said, I think I'm Mr. Shady Rays. I just look cool in them. That's all. My fault. I'm as cool as me. No one looks as cool in them. He said, I think I'm Mr. Shady Rays. I just look cool in them. That's all. My fault. Not as cool as me.
Starting point is 00:28:28 No one looks as cool as you. No. TJ, why don't we spin the wheel and let's figure out something good to tear. Everyone think of something good. What can we tear? Best pussy. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Let's tear pussy. Okay. By shape. My big head wasn't here on Friday. Why? What did we tear? No, but we didn't tear anything, but the wheel is now negative.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Oh, no. Yeah, the wheel's now less... Shady Rays asked us specifically not to tear pussy. There's a lot of problems on this wheel. Although, that one is not. Wheel reset's not, so it really just looks like it is. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:29:07 24-hour fast would really suck right now we'd have to do it until tomorrow's show that's just not yeah that's what we would do you said i would have 30 minutes or 20 minutes to walk out and eat i actually think you would kill a man if you did if you went 24 hours without eating yeah that's the one i like the least jerry's having a salad tonight for the first time in two years. He announced that. Why? I don't know. I want to switch it up a little bit.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I think a steak salad I'm going to do. That's not a salad at all. Anytime I do that, I just only eat the steak, and then I just throw away the lettuce. You're just having steak for dinner? I guess, yeah. Have a pre-cut up steak. That's what you're having.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Yeah. There's going to be tomatoes in it and red onions. Spin it. Oh, yeah. Have a pre-cut up steak. That's what you're having. Yeah. There's going to be like tomatoes in it and red onions. Spin it. Oh, shit. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey. Look at that. People are going to be so mad.
Starting point is 00:29:57 We have to spin again, but that's okay. Yeah, we do have to spin again, but holy shit. The eye's going fucking. Reset that bitch. Yes. That was a good spin big cat oh i watched uh silence of the lambs for the first time last night first time yeah i also watched seven for the first time i liked that one you have a bad weekend why are you watching these movies you when i watch one movie that i really like then then I'm just like, I want to watch another movie like that.
Starting point is 00:30:26 So I watch Seven, and then I watch Silence of the Lambs. I've never even seen Seven. Seven's good. Seven's very good. Silence of the Lambs is a classic. Classic. You got to watch...
Starting point is 00:30:34 So the second one sucks. I think they did Hannibal. Red Dragon is awesome. Oh, really? Yes. I think it's the third. Red Dragon is very, very good. I saw that in a recommended movie, but I didn't know that was-
Starting point is 00:30:49 Oh, shut up. If we have to spin the fucking wheel and do all these things, then you got to deal with the wheel reset every now and fucking then. There's nothing that... You can't say the wheel's rigged and then say the wheel's just. It's just all the time. You guys, that's why the wheel came up like this, because you guys don't respect the wheel. Yeah. You give it L's when it, this is on you.
Starting point is 00:31:06 We got to figure out something that all the commenters have to do if the wheel lands on it. Why do they want a SAS specific punishment? I don't know, it's just one dude? Yeah. I like he's making a lot of, it's probably Dave. Okay. If Dave just every day at 1 o'clock logged on to comment on the yak all day.
Starting point is 00:31:27 He has never come on the show since we asked him to. No, he did once. He did once. All right, so we got to spin it again. Oh, look at all that drive. It's so much drive. But now it's... Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Yep. Hey! Oh! Nope. Womp womp. Love it. What would we do if it came up on that? We then spend to see who it is, or how does that work?
Starting point is 00:31:52 Yeah, because someone has to go with Roan, but isn't there a belief that Roan's going to not show and make you eat with, like, Pete or Nate? Yeah, one of the T-E ending names in the office. One of those. Let me see that. Let me see that. Let me see that tier, TJ. Pete, Nate, Kate, Lute.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Lutes, yep. We got a Lute. We got a couple Lutes, actually. The sales team's mainly Lutes. Okay, I'm going to tweet that out. And mince. He looks... Send it mince. He looks... Send it to me.
Starting point is 00:32:26 He looks fine. I'll just take a picture. This is going to get people fired up. I was going to tweet from the yak. Oh, yeah, you can tweet from the yak. Yes, yeah, I'll just get it from there. All right, so what are we going to tier? Should we tier our favorite Shady Rays glasses?
Starting point is 00:32:46 Brandon, you're Mr. Shady Rays. What's your favorite? Oh, you're Mr. Shady Rays. Give us three of your favorite Shady Rays. I've only got one pair. They're a black pair, and they're wonderful, and I've wore them all weekend on the shore, and I look great.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Problem on the shore this week? Oh, yeah, I've heard you live there now. I live there for another week, and then I'm finally moving into my house next week hopefully am i doing the ad now is that what's that yes okay sure uh shady rays has the essentials you need to make summer complete i was on the shore in my sunglasses that's why most of my fans couldn't tell who i was this weekend it was nice not to be mobbed not to be uh treated like some piece of meat it was fantastic had a good time.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Every pair backed by lost and broken replacements. I've never had a pair of sunglasses over three days in my entire life. Yeah. But if I did lose or break these, Shady Rays would replace them, no problem. That's a big deal. I had a technique where I would sort of only get crappy glasses because I was so nervous I would break or lose them. But then with Shady Rays, now I find that sweet spot.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Well, with crappy glasses, you might as well not even have glasses. Exactly. It's a waste. They're a waste. These are good glasses. They also provide 10 free meals to fight hunger in America with every order. Donated over 20 million meals to date. Look good in your shades and feel good by making an impact.
Starting point is 00:33:58 For our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their very best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com. Use code YAK for 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. ShadyRays.com. Code YAK. 50% off two pairs of polarized sunglasses. Hit it. Hit it, Sass.
Starting point is 00:34:14 If you get two, that's BOGO, if my math is right. Yeah, that is. That is. That's a BOGO. That's a smoking hot deal. Hit it, Sass. That's a flaming BOGO. I'm going to find it.
Starting point is 00:34:24 It'll come. It'll come at some point. You don't have it there at all times? It's deep. Find it. Hit it, Seth. That's a flaming bogo. I'm going to find it. It'll come. It'll come at some point. You don't have it there at all times? It's deep. Find it. Find it. You got it?
Starting point is 00:34:31 It's, no. Oh, man. Oh. He's right. I don't have it right now. Come on. We can't expect that of the man. I don't have it right now.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Just before two. Yeah, I'll get it at some point. Don't tell us when. If you don't, we're going to make Owen do it. Yeah, please. I'll find it. Low energy.'t tell us when If you don't we're gonna make a one do it Yeah please I'll find it Low energy
Starting point is 00:34:48 Long weekend Come on find it Shady Rays baby It's Shady Rays Don't put disgrace Maybe it's Shady Rays Don't put disgrace It's Shady Rays
Starting point is 00:34:57 They should just change the name of the entire company to that It's Shady Rays baby Yeah Sports Sports Shady Ray's baby? Yeah. Sports? Sports? Shady Ray's baby sports? Every company should end with sports.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Yes. Apple Sports. I thought this was Barstool Sports. The fuck is this shit? We tier list baby names for Casey. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Yeah, that will get some people upset.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I think biblical names are coming back in a big way. Are they? Yeah. I think people try to get very creative these last 10 or 20 years. Is it going to be a boy or a girl? I think we're going to go back to Jebediahs and Ezekiels, et cetera. Oh, you know? I can't tell you. So we'll do both.
Starting point is 00:35:46 We'll do boy or girl. Well, there's no reason to do both. I've got to see if I can tell. You definitely can't. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you definitely can't. I want to tell. I want to tell. Is it both?
Starting point is 00:35:56 Is it twins? I want to tell. Although, we won't know the baby's gender until the baby's like three and it can pick it. Yeah. Well, you could pick that shit at 53. Fuck. Okay. i won't tell well one thing i will say about uh my last thing about silence of the lambs was was hannibal lecter supposed to like just rule yeah like he was awesome yeah i supposed to love him yeah yeah bernard hawkins he's like the best. The other guy. That's a fighter, Jerry. That's a fighter. I'll look it up right now.
Starting point is 00:36:26 We're all fighters. You can look it up. Sir Anthony Hopkins is the actor. Bernard Hopkins. Bernard Hopkins is the fighter. Jerry's going to look it up right in your face, Brandon. We're going to see a welterweight champion of the world. Bernard Hopkins.
Starting point is 00:36:39 He was great, though. Great fighter. Well, actor. Well, Anthony Hopkins, actor. Great in that movie. I think you have to call him sir. Anthony Hopkins, actor. Great in that movie. I think you have to call him sir. Yeah, he was a badass in the movie. I ate her liver with some fava beans. What's that one line he says?
Starting point is 00:36:51 Hester Moffat. No, no, no, no, no. It's an anagram. Oh, no, no, no. What is it? Benjamin Rasbell. That's an anagram. The rest of me. What was your impression of? Those limes need to be silenced. I ate her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti
Starting point is 00:37:08 that part was awesome also when he fucking kills all those guards she got me fired up yeah that was cool it was he was just running shit they couldn't hold him down. And then when he
Starting point is 00:37:27 pulls the face off, I audibly gasped. What's Hester Moffat? It was a Wilhelm scream from South. It was crazy. I was like, fuck, he's dead. And then all of a sudden he's in the ambulance and just and I was like, holy shit. That was the turning point of the movie for me that was when i was like
Starting point is 00:37:46 this is fucking awesome yeah um so looking at your own career when you shaved your head was that sort of your taking off of the mask moment a lot like that one of my favorite moments when sass was like this has nothing to do with the fact that i just got completely emasculated by dave on the dave portnoy show i don't know if I would say emasculated. Whatever you got to do, you got to talk shit about me to get your clicks. That's fine. People are still bringing that shit up like a year later.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Every episode of the Dave Portnoy show. You think it was probably because when you went in there, he was so nervous around you? Could have been. Yeah. Yeah. She won't let me.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Sass has for $3 million a year. And I love how you're like, you're surprised by that. This bitch won't let me make it, Bellman. Casey won't let me tell everyone what the gender of her baby is. She won't let me. Damn.
Starting point is 00:38:37 That's surprising. I thought she would say yes. Here we go. Can I do a gender reveal on the show? Yeah. Brandon, aren't you having a kid soon? Why don't you just wait until you can reveal that kid's gender? By the time you have three or four kids, you don't give a fuck what it is.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Yeah. Are you guys thinking of adopting? Yeah, my wife's pushing for that. Nice. Is there any sort of surprise with the gender of that, or do you know right away? No, I think you would know beforehand. Is like an app there's like a i don't know how she's in there type she's the one looking through all that so swipe it yeah i would hope it would not be that i hope it'd be the quite opposite of that right no it's that you got to buy super likes it's
Starting point is 00:39:20 like a whole yeah it's a mess you're out of swipes for the day. I hope this kid likes me. Every baby has an office quote. You're like, ugh. Basic ass infant. How old is the baby you're going to adopt? I don't know. 14? No, probably.
Starting point is 00:39:37 She wants a couple. What? Multiple? She wants to adopt children who are dating? No. So you're going to have like seven kids? Okay, well, four plus two is six. That's so many kids, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:39:51 I know that. Four is plenty. That's a lot of kids. Six is a fucking, I mean, you got a team. Yeah. And a guy off the bench. Yeah. That's fucked.
Starting point is 00:39:59 You've said, and I kind of agreed, you were like, there's no difference between like four and ten. That in between is kind of all the same. Once you get past three, it's all the same. Yeah. No, I'm sure seven or eight is different, but there's no difference. No, you're just a weird family. There's no difference between three and four.
Starting point is 00:40:14 I agree. Once you get past, I think four is the last number that's normal. Yeah, four is the last number that matters. Everything that pass that, and you're just the weird family with a shitload of kids. Yeah. You got to get like a sprinter van. Yeah, one of my best friends in high school was uh one of 13 whoa and uh yeah they do like homeschool but like you kind of just raise each other like i don't understand the 13 every every family from the south that's older than me is one of like 19 kids one of 14 kids i understand
Starting point is 00:40:42 it they just super religious don't believe in condoms. Yeah. Yeah, but. But they damn believe in cream pies. I mean, that literally means that they were just, every time they had sex, boom, kid. Yes, Dooley Clubhouse guy is here. Rico's not happy about that. Who's this guy with the frosted tips?
Starting point is 00:41:01 I don't know. He's a hot body. He's getting a tour. We need more hot bodies in this office. Yeah a hot body. Get a tour. We need more hot bodies in this office. Yeah, we do. Inspire people. Let's tier... Hottest in the office. Yeah, Barstool male employees based on hotness.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Okay. All right, yeah, that works. Nick would want to be here for this, though. Well, he's not. Yeah, I talked about that. Oh, this guy's getting a little... Oh, shit. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Hell yeah. Whoa. Wow. Yeah, get it. Oh. Hell yeah. Whoa. Wow. Yeah. Get it. Get it to us. Give us a one-two. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Oh. That was awesome. He was whooping on that thing. I love those videos of UPS guys just dunking for a while when they drop off a package. You see the Jews versus the UPS guys? Oh, yeah. Full five on five. Nick's mad about the tier list. He's on demon
Starting point is 00:41:54 mode right now. You're a Jew, right, Seth? I am, yeah. You guys love hoop. Oh, yeah. The NBA, in particular. This guy's fucking shit up maybe we shouldn't do hotness baby it's Shady Rays we can't do hotness of men? I don't know can we?
Starting point is 00:42:17 men like being objectified but then people are going to be upset we have to tell the guy who we think is the hottest we have to tell him in person I are going to be upset. Well, we have to tell the guy. They think sculpture is the game changer. We have to tell the guy who we think is the hottest. We have to tell him in person. Okay. I'm going to fall back on this one.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Okay. Oh, do they have to be on the blogger page? My pick was from upstairs for one. Okay. Let's just get it going then. I think Joey is very attractive. Well, he looks like you. I think Jerry is also very attractive. I would say Rudy's up there for sure.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Rudy's obviously the hottest guy here. I'm just, all right. You can't take Rudy, Jerry. Rudy and Biz. He said two people in front of him. Yeah, but he was muddying the water, so when we took Rudy, it wouldn't be as obvious. Here's my S tier. Rudy, Biz, Fights. Fights't be as obvious. Here's my S tier. Rudy, biz, fights.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Fights is ugly as hell. No, and fights has the ability, though. Maybe he's the tier below. Fights can go out and get it. Yeah, he can get it. He needs it for a night. He can get it. Fights wants to drop 50.
Starting point is 00:43:18 He can drop 50. Like, I can't. He just loves putting up eight and eight every day. Right. Well, the elephant, I mean, Roan's cute as hell. Roan is cute. I don't know just loves putting up Eight and eight every day Right Well the elephant I mean Roan's cute as hell Roan is cute I don't know if he's hot
Starting point is 00:43:28 Yeah that's That's the issue I think Roan is hot You do? Yeah I think he should be up there I went to Pop Punk A lot of people thought
Starting point is 00:43:37 He was violently hot Really? Yeah When you're singing on stage That's a That's an advantage She code That's she code.
Starting point is 00:43:47 I wish we had something to tear. I don't know what the fuck we're going to do. Yeah, the hot one kind of blew over pretty quick. Because it gets real hard to think of one. Chat, give us some. You don't got too many lookers in the office. I will have better energy tomorrow. I'm very tired.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Oh, we did Mutt. Days? Did you hear the days? Oh, that's so lame. Okay, we did Mutt's one. I'm very tired. Days? Tear the days? Oh, that's so lame. Okay, we did months worth. Damn, sass. What the fuck? Tearing is lame. You come up with something, sass. Alright, question. What are your guys' thoughts on the cars that inch over the crosswalk when it's yellow?
Starting point is 00:44:18 You have a white walking man. They have a green light, but they're coming into your space. Wait, they have a green light? Well, yeah, but they're supposed to yield to a walk. Oh, I see what he's saying. You have the light to walk. It narrows your path. Cars that just come in and they just inch up waiting for you.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Yeah, I mean, I get caught sometimes in the crosswalk and I just feel bad. But New York City is different. New York City, no one even cares. If you're in the middle of the crosswalk, people just feel bad but New York City is different New York City no one even cares when I if you're in the middle of the crosswalk people just walk around your car I was I was walking home when we lived in Hell's Kitchen and some dude like went really deep into the crosswalk
Starting point is 00:44:56 like when it was red light and there's a cop behind him so he goes to back up and he slams into someone oh shit like runs someone over behind him, and instantly the cop throws his sirens on. That's amazing. Like, a person? Yeah. Whoa. A human. And the person was fine.
Starting point is 00:45:12 I mean, they got, like, tapped. Yeah. I mean, talk about bad luck. The guy was like, oh, fuck, there's a cop behind me. I probably shouldn't be in the middle of the crosswalk. And then he runs someone over. Remember we saw that car, like, hit one car and try and get away, and he just hit four more.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how all crash. There's never a one-on-one crash in the city. It's always a lot of cars getting hit, but there's never any bad crashes here. No, a lot of scrapes. Yeah. I got in a screaming match with a lady who was crossing.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Not crossing, driving. We got in a screaming match with a dude in the parking lot on Saturday night in Saratoga. It was a nice little cheap thrill. Yeah, it was nice. We would have fucked him up. Well, yeah, it was three on, four on one. Yeah. What was he doing?
Starting point is 00:45:57 Oh, boy. This is breaking news. What? Oh, he announced it. Francis is back. Hell yes. Shit. Shit.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Fuck yeah. There we go. You could have caught that on boy dad four weeks ago yep or the multiple times we've mentioned it on this show since then yeah actually we were on the you gotta do it you know we were on the uh plane to west virginia when he sent dave the first uh draft of the video of what he was going to post. And it was like it started with all the headlines. It was a girl dying and him getting fired.
Starting point is 00:46:53 And Dave and I were just like, I don't think anyone's going to bring it up, but this is definitely people will bring it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Francis has some funny-ass jokes about that that he does on stage that kill me. So he's back. Yeah, when he signed his deal, I don't know, it was probably three weeks ago, he immediately started a text chain with me and Roan being like Dumbo, Caravan. Oh, the Brooklyn boy.
Starting point is 00:47:21 There we go. He's back. Francis is getting married this week, I think. Yeah. It's kind of fucked up we're not invited. It is. We're co-workers now. It is fucked up.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Is anyone from Barstool going? I doubt it. I don't think so now. You'll like Francis. Yeah, he didn't remember me, but yeah. Why would he remember you? From what? We've crossed paths before.
Starting point is 00:47:45 When? How? When he was We've crossed paths before. When? When he was at BroBible. You were there? I wasn't. I was affiliated with it, though. And he didn't remember you? Through Robbie. So you didn't cross paths?
Starting point is 00:47:56 We've crossed social media paths, yeah. And he didn't remember you? Well, I liked one of his videos. That's not crossing paths. He liked one of my videos. Did you ever crossing paths. He liked one of my videos. Did you ever DM him? No, I don't think I helped him. Oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:48:10 I didn't. I don't think so. Let's go through Jerry's DMs. You can DM him now if you want. Welcome him back to the team. Give us your last three DMs on Instagram. All right. Oh, I like this.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Yeah, this is good. It's tear jerry this is very good and i'm gonna be received both uh sent all right uh sent would be my my buddy put up a picture of his french bulldog who says it's this man's b-day where do you think he's going and i said starbucks question? And he put yes. Oh, that's good. Okay. That was disappointing.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Yeah? Yeah. I mean, I don't... Did they get treats there? Yeah, they had puppuccinos. Huh. Some guy was saying thanks for the cameo. It was always JJ doing the draft order.
Starting point is 00:49:02 I said, right on, brother. I mean, it's just like. Why didn't he send that on Cameo? Because I charged $199 to DM me on Cameo. But him DMing me on Instagram. How much is your Cameo charge? So I did $25, and that was a mistake. Why, too cheap or too much?
Starting point is 00:49:21 Not that it's too cheap. It's too much quantity. We're getting too many. Yeah, yeah. But I i up to price since then okay how much is your price on cameo right now i think like 40 maybe 35 nice yeah damn yeah so i i uh i pretended to tie my shoe and then ended up screaming with this woman for a while this morning oh that's awesome, because she was honking at a homeless person, and then I stopped, and first I pointed at the walk and her and told her to calm down.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Then she was yelling at me, so I just tied my shoe for the duration. Nice. Felt good. I was like we were pulling in, and this one car was about to take a spot to the left, and we were about to take another spot across, and the car didn't leave. So then the guy took our spot, which he was there first,
Starting point is 00:50:11 so I let him take it, but I kind of gave him a stare down. And then we circled back through, and a motorcycle took a fucking parking spot, and I rolled down the window. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And the original guy walked back and was like, fuck that guy. So then we just got in a screaming match.
Starting point is 00:50:26 We're like, fuck you. What are you going to do about it? Jerry and I were saying that we should have just gotten out with all of our cash from the track and just been like, how much for your girlfriend? Yeah. Like 60 cents. Just whip it out and be like,
Starting point is 00:50:40 what are you going to do now, pal? Just take it with you? Yeah. Oh my God. But there's nothing better than those cheap thrills where it's like you're not gonna do anything no one's gonna do anything but just screaming at someone i like it because every day you go through life and you just like take shit from i don't know random strangers right in daily life because you're like this isn't worth it but every once in a while you gotta just have some fun that's kind of how I am on the DM, like on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Yeah, you go zero to 60 very fast. Well, I'll let like 50, 60 of them all kill yourself. I'll let that go, but then one person just gets it. Gets a hammer? He does, yeah. I just sent out a text. Oh, let's see these. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Yeah, these are good. These are good. Let's see what this one is. Cameo, that's right. Wait, shout out to all These are good. Let's see what this one is. Cameo. That's right. Wait, is that? Does that one have no video? The intro is funny. I like the intro.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Live from Cameo. That's right. I said it. Cameo. Jersey Jerry is doing happy holiday shout outs. Birthday shout outs. New Year's shout-outs. Any kind of shout-out you need, I'm giving it to you. All you got to do to book is find me on Cameo, Jersey Jerry, or hit the link in my bio on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:51:54 There's a video. What the fuck is this? This is going to be something special. I'm going to show you right now. It's the best. Shout-out to all the fucking losers in the dewey league besides michael i mean this guy's won the championship the last four out of ten years what the fuck are you guys that's not that many what's the next one all right this is for the pine hills bowl
Starting point is 00:52:18 fantasy football league um see you guys got a little bit of a dilemma on your hands and now you want Jersey Jerry to come in and pick the draft order. So I wrote them down on a piece of paper and I'm going to randomize this list here. So I'm going to read them off here. And I want to
Starting point is 00:52:38 start by saying this. Don't be one of those guys man. Don't be one of those guys from the Pine Hills Football League that say oh jersey jerry gave me a bad draft pick that's why i didn't win no stop it that's not why you didn't win you didn't win because you don't know how to make a calculated draft pick the best team will win the best roster will win so here we go i messed up with the first pick, we're going to go Pistol. Second pick, we're going Tomlinson. Third pick, we're going Pugs.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Fourth pick, Casey. What are we doing? Fifth pick, Carmine. Sixth pick will be Tyler. Seventh pick, Jordan. Eighth pick, Shine. Ninth pick, Ken. And tenth pick, Dom.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Hold on. That's your fantasy football draft order, fellas. There it is right there for you. May the best team win. And the best team will win. Oh, you didn't mess it up. That one was a waste, Jerry. Yeah, it was a waste.
Starting point is 00:53:31 I mean, these people are just burning money. You know what I mean? I mean, listen. Sometimes you got to be in the business of beating people. That's not a good ad for your cameo. No, they like it. I mean, I'm number one. That would be the best ad for you.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Yeah, I appreciate the honesty. I'm the number one fantasy football in the country guy right now. Really? Who's number two? Number two is Frank. Oh. Who's number three? Am I somewhere Frank's money, by the way?
Starting point is 00:53:57 Three would be Robbie Berger. Okay. Fantasy football. Who's that? Robbie Berger. Yeah, he's a brilliantly dumb, just superstar. You know him? I'm not going through this again. Yeah, He's a brilliantly dumb superstar. You know him? I'm not going through this again.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Yeah, he's a good friend of mine. Interesting. Isn't that where you came from? Brilliantly dumb? Yeah. Yeah, you could say that. Mm-hmm. You could say that.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Before you got canceled? This was after I got canceled. What'd you get canceled for? I don't want to get into it, Sass. Oh, go ahead. Sass had to get into some things. Pretty much Bachelor Nation canceled it. He said you had to get into some things, so he has to get into it.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Bachelor Nation canceled it. It's okay, buddy. He called one of the Bachelorettes fat. I know. What did you say? I didn't say fat. I said nothing special, pretty much. What else?
Starting point is 00:54:45 Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. What else? Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. What else did you say? Come on, because then they're going to... No, I don't want to do it. You can't re-cancel someone who's been canceled. Yeah, you've already been canceled. It's over.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Double jeopardy. Look into it. What does that mean? You're in great company, though. Louie, Cosby, et cetera. You can't be re-canceled. So Louie's back. I don't think I've ever actually been canceled.
Starting point is 00:55:06 I think they tried to cancel me, but they couldn't. Are you uncancellable? I don't think I am, I would say. I'd say you can be canceled. I've had some tweets that were at times. No one actually, people don't really get canceled. People get backlash.
Starting point is 00:55:25 You asked me to jerk you off. I think Nick quit. Yeah, Nick handed in his two weeks. Yeah, he quit. Ronnie? Yeah, because of the Pokemon. Because of the casing. Oh.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Look how big this thing is. Holy shit. That's awesome DJ Thank you Fuck They're just in Alaska Yeah I know It looks awesome
Starting point is 00:55:54 It does look awesome I'm so jealous It's the first time I've been jealous Of one of their trips Cause usually They're just In places
Starting point is 00:56:02 They don't wanna be Alaska's sick, though. Have you been? No, I want to go really bad. You should go. On the top of my list. Why don't you just say you need mental health? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:56:13 I want to go somewhere soon. Yeah, getting around that time where mental health, you know, you got to take a break. I'm going to Phoenix, Arizona in September. Damn. There you go. Holy shit, that's awesome. Who's out there?
Starting point is 00:56:28 Festooli. Nick. That's Nick, but Festooli's out there with him. What a great view. I wonder what they're doing. Sass, you promised us a Shady Rays baby by 2 o'clock. It's 1.58. Just say no.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Come on, Sass. 1.58 and a half. It's the kind of thing that you can only do when you really have it. You promised it. You always have it. It's fine if you want to miss. It's Shady Rays, baby. What's today's date?
Starting point is 00:56:55 It's a little more... Whatever it is, it's going down in infamy. It's from the stomach. It is guttural. It's Shady Rays, baby. You're not doing enough of an accent. There's a little bit of an accent in there. Now, were you drawn from Sweet Baby Rays. Shady Rays, baby. You're not doing enough of an accent. There's a little bit of an accent in there. Now, were you drawn from Sweet Baby Rays?
Starting point is 00:57:08 Shady Rays. No, no, no, no. This is a fully original. This is an original concept. I wrote, took me a long time to write that. I want that baby back, baby back, baby back. I want that baby back. I'm a joker, baby.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Shady. Shady Rays. Come on, Seth. Come on, Sass. Come on, man. 50 seconds. 50 seconds? Well, I mean, this has been a low-energy show. I'll just admit it.
Starting point is 00:57:33 I actually think we've had some good laughs. Yeah, it's been fun. Are we ending? No, no, no. But we would like a Shady Rays, baby. Shady Rays, baby. We can find something. We can do a little low-energy.
Starting point is 00:57:42 I got nothing. It's Shady Rays, baby. That works for me. It's Shady Rays. baby. We can find something. We can do a little loan. I got nothing. It's Shady Rays, baby. That works for me. It's Shady Rays. What? The names? Well, we can't do the... Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Yeah, we'll have to wait, and then we'll fuck it. Well, I'm sure she'll announce it sooner than later. She's being selfish not announcing it, if I'm being honest. I also know. If you have a baby, it should be... Why don't you do it? I'm not going to say that shit. No fucking way. I also know. If you have a baby, it should be. I'm not going to say that shit. No fucking way.
Starting point is 00:58:09 You do it. That would be like crossing every line. You think you're the godfather? I say one, you say the other, and people have to decide which one's right. No. Oh, so there's two genders? Oh, I see. One of those situations.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Not the godfather. You're those situations. Not the godfather. You're not going to be the godfather? I don't think I've been asked yet. You think you will? I probably will. I don't know if I'll do it or not. Jerry, you seem like a guy who's probably godfather of like seven kids. Actually, I don't think anybody would trust me with something like that.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Really? I've never been asked. Are you the godfather of your child? No, no. That would be kind of a power move. No. Is godfather yourself? Who's your godfather? be kind of a power move. Is Godfather yourself? Isn't that a weak move? If the kid looks at you
Starting point is 00:58:48 as a godfather and finds out later you're actually the real father. No, but if you're both. Yeah. I've never been asked. I wish I was. Who's your son's godfather? My guy's staying with me. I gotta be honest. I don't know the concept. I don't really get the concept. I don't get it either. What is the concept of Godfather? It's to raise
Starting point is 00:59:04 the parents in case of emergency, right? Wouldn't your parents do that? Or your siblings or someone? Let me tell you about God cousins. Oh, yeah, true. God brothers. God brothers. I think it's his God brother. Or it might be his God cousin.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yeah. Frank has a God cousin. I just assumed it was godfather so his name uh abe yeah yeah it's his god cousin he was in la with us yeah he lives out there another god cousin another god because he was frank in la wasn't he yeah for the trivia that's right you got a hot dog review with che in the background in a hot dog costume. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:59:47 That's right. It's not funny, but it was kind of funny. Jeff got really bad news, and Frank wouldn't stop singing. Oof. Yes. His dad died, yeah. Yeah, that was the news. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:59 He was asking Frank to stop singing. Frank refused to shut his blinds. Oh, yeah. I remember that. We all saw Frank. Yeah. to shut his blinds. Oh, yeah. I remember that. We all saw Frank. Yeah. He gets changed upside down.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Positions that guy can get in is insane. It's shocking. You wouldn't think he'd be able to get his legs over his head. Perfect six pack.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Oh. That would be awesome if Frank was pure muscle. He wouldn't like the outfits look like he just picked them but he tries on a million like a Hollywood montage every time. Just throwing him up and he's spinning around. It's so fun.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Frank's 4% body fat. Just a steel. Just pure muscle. Oh fuck. Oh we have a firing day on Thursday Big meeting It's gonna be fun What's up with that thing tomorrow
Starting point is 01:00:54 I don't know Is that for everybody It's just like a preseason sports book Tell us what we can say about gambling Jerry you gotta be there Yeah I will What's up with the firing thing? Someone's getting fired.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Someone's getting fired. Yeah, every summer. Is this your first firing day? Yeah, I think it would be. They draft out of a hat, like the Hunger Games. I heard they're doing the wheel this year, actually. Nice. Every employee's on it.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Are you in charge of getting fired, Jerry? Yeah, here's what it is, you know. Jerry just kept on mumbling when he was losing every race. He's like, going to have to renegotiate with Dave. Going to have to renegotiate with Dave. Yeah, it was birthday party money. Yeah, son's birthday party. He's not going to remember one?
Starting point is 01:01:37 Yeah, no. You did the same thing. I did not have a big party for either of my kids. I mean, we got pizza and cupcakes. Jerry rented out fucking MetLife Stadium. Was it the second year when you got home and there were just a bunch of kids in your house? Yeah, I think that was, it might have been this year. Those early birthdays, more networking with the parents?
Starting point is 01:02:00 It's more about the adults. It's much more about the adults. It sucks. Tommy grabbed the the candle his first birthday instead of blowing it out he just reached out and grabbed it yeah the first it's always like beast dude yeah i mean they're fun because it's like cool for the parents like oh my kid is a year older but like yeah in terms of the actual party like did you do like a theme brandon was there like a theme no i just rented a a water slide the age of reason fascinates me like just that you're not
Starting point is 01:02:26 really gonna remember much before seven so like these guys just blackout drunk those five four whatever it is like I remember it's like it's like dealing with drunk people they're not remember what you said child's brain is is drugs yeah they're on drugs like their moods and just everything,
Starting point is 01:02:46 like one minute they're just sprinting around, the next they're crying, the next they're this. It's drugs. They will remember a random sentence you say five years ago. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Louie has a bit about that where his daughter's talking to him and he's like, literally nothing you're saying matters at all.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Nothing you have ever said has mattered. Oh, fuck. All right. Should we end it? I got to do the rundown, so. All right. Well, tomorrow I'll have energy.
Starting point is 01:03:16 I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm going to sleep tonight. I haven't slept the last three nights. I slept like four hours. I was sleeping with Jerry on Friday night. He was just rolling around farting yeah you were once a couple times woke up wet ones or no and then he illegally taped me while i was sleeping well he was taping on the white noise machine which he had agreed to i did agree i told him i was like hey just so you know, I sleep with a noise machine.
Starting point is 01:03:46 He's like, okay, no problem. I wake up, sitting there on my phone. Video of me sleeping. What was that hanger on the blinds thing? That's to keep the light out. You know when you go to a hotel and the blinds don't always... Yeah, they got that little four-inch gap. Yep, so you grab the hanger And you just
Starting point is 01:04:05 Yup there it is Galaxy brand move That's the move Right there Anytime you go to a hotel That's the move Just cinch them together You guys like
Starting point is 01:04:15 Living out of hotels No it sucks I've been in a hotel For every weekend For the last like Six weeks Checking into a hotel The first moment
Starting point is 01:04:24 You check in Is always fun Oh I disagree I think that's the worst a hotel the first moment you check in is always fun. I disagree. I think that's the worst part. Having to actively check in. Getting into your room when it's clean and you're like, oh, this is a pretty nice room. And then when you wake up
Starting point is 01:04:38 the first thing you're like, oh, shit, I'm here. It's not even that. It's when I wake up and then the housekeeping is knocking on the door and you're just yelling no thanks from your room and they don't stop knocking and you gotta go over and they're like, do you not need any towels or anything? It's like, no, you guys gave me three
Starting point is 01:04:53 towels. I'm here for one night. Why would I need more towels? Yeah. Seriously, like, why would I need more? I was at a hotel when I was in Atlanta and they gave me a big ass bag of towels. It's like, I'm checking out in like five hours. What did you do? You hit her over the head with it?
Starting point is 01:05:08 Yeah. Knocked her ass out. Get the fuck out of here. Jerry turned on the shower on Saturday morning and just got all the towels wet. He's just like, where are the towels? He turned on the shower, and he's like, oh, shit, they're in the shower. This weekend when we were in West Virginia for Rough and Rowdy, I drove there from the airport and back. It's like a three-hour drive. shower and when this weekend when we were in west virginia for rough and rowdy i had to i was i drove
Starting point is 01:05:25 there by air from the airport and back it's like a three hour drive and uh i slept in on sunday or on saturday morning and i woke up to like like alarms going off in my room yeah there's like some sort of like there's some sort of like buzzer that if someone's asleep, they slam it down. So there's people knocking on my door and this fire alarm going off in my room. Yeah. How late? 30 minutes. We were supposed to meet at 8.30 and I was asleep at 9.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Oh, shit. And I had the keys to the car. Oh, shit. So there's buzzers going off in my room and shit. Were you late to the airport? No. We got to the airport like two hours early. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:06:09 I can't be the one to be like, guys, we don't need to be there until literally like ten minutes before the flight is in the air. So you didn't get home until when? Four. Oof. Yeah. Oof. Yeah, it was rough.
Starting point is 01:06:20 Flying private's pretty fun. You don't like it, Jerry? No. Why? I'll take those for you. What the fuck? How do you not like that? I just think it's a lot scarier.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Yeah, tiny ass plane. You feel it, but you can just drive there and get right on the plane. That's cool. I'm flying with my buddy in October, which I'm pretty nervous about. He's flying? Yeah, he's been in Arizona for the past 10 months. That's my take. Flying doesn't suck.
Starting point is 01:06:45 Airports suck. That's what sucks about Flying doesn't suck. Airports suck. That's what sucks about traveling. Airports and sitting and waiting and doing all that shit. I don't even think the airport sucks. I think it's the actual being on the plane before it takes off. The worst part of flying is being on the plane before it takes off and then waiting for them to open the gate when you land. The easiest part of flying somewhere is the actual time that you're flying.
Starting point is 01:07:03 That's fine. It's everything else that sucks. If you can get rid of that flying is incredible i don't understand the whole like security like i don't like when i was younger we used to go to when i was traveling with my family would go to the airport like four hours early and that was probably right after 9-11 because there was a period where it was like really shitty yeah fool. Yeah. When they implemented all the... TSA wasn't a thing. No. And then 9-11 happened,
Starting point is 01:07:29 and it was like, oh, we should probably be checking everyone. And then it took a long time for them to get it correct. It was kind of COVID. They just never tightened back up, I feel. Now it's still nice and quick. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:41 Relatively. Yeah, I haven't waited for more than 10 minutes. Denver, have you ever been to the Denver airport? That security line is fucked. That was just their grit week. Thanks for watching. I don't know. I mean, you fly private.
Starting point is 01:07:52 I don't know if you flew private out there. Not for grit week. Yeah, come on. I didn't even have a first class ticket on the way out. Oh my God. Man. Wait, on the way back, did you? I did, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:01 Okay. Grit week is over, though. Yeah, I gave it to PFT. That's the fucking kind of guy I am. That's nice of you I gave it to PFT that's the fucking kind of guy I am it's nice of you yeah did PFT
Starting point is 01:08:08 wrote first class yeah he did oh he texted me with don't meet your heroes with 30 minutes left in the flight being like if you want to switch
Starting point is 01:08:15 we can I was just like okay you're over western Nebraska and he's like let's let's let's
Starting point is 01:08:21 yeah alright we'll see everyone tomorrow God bless. Full energy. See ya. See ya. It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop
Starting point is 01:08:49 We're doing Yankees love It's the act It's the act

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