The Yak - Sas Had Dave Portnoy SHAKING at Rough N' Rowdy | The Yak 8-22-22
Episode Date: August 22, 2022Put Sas in the boxing Hall of FameYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoo...lyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello.
I'm low energy.
Are you?
I need to pick me up.
Hello, everyone.
It's Yak.
Is that a new boy dad shirt on?
This is a brand new never before seen Yak.
I think a combo we've never done.
Sass.
Yeah, never.
Jersey Jerry.
Myself, Brandon, and Owen.
The boys. The boys. How's everyone doing? You know. Jersey Jerry, myself, Brandon, and Owen. Mm-hmm.
The boys.
The boys.
How's everyone doing?
I'm doing great. My voice is a little hoarse.
It's okay.
Is it from Saratoga?
Yeah, rough and rowdy Saratoga.
Great weekend.
Best rough and rowdy we've had in a while.
Rough and rowdy, so fucking funny.
Yep.
Fat guy's flipping over the ropes multiple times.
The Abel brothers are stars.
And they hit me and Dave up for 6K before the fights.
He was killing me every time he called out Aaron Carter.
Oh, yeah.
Like, first of all, the Abel brothers.
I don't know.
Can we play some highlights from the Abel brothers fight?
Check out their podcast with the subjects George Floyd.
Yeah, I went and looked at it, and it was shocking.
They're Nick Poylesque.
Yeah.
I can't remember which one.
The second one, Able Brother.
I mean, just.
You and Dave's laughter during that one was incredible.
I couldn't contain myself.
I was crying they the able brothers calling out aaron carter
and making up a random rough and rowdy date and location was fantastic
like i want aaron carter december 2nd charleston west virginia we won't be there
but now maybe i they're so electric i was like maybe we will be
there people were just throwing out dates is providence the next one because people were
doing that too yeah i don't think it's been announced but there there is going to be one
in december i believe i like that move though just pick a date in city yeah just be like yeah
i'll see everyone november 14th in Amarillo, Texas.
I wonder if December 2nd is even a Friday.
Yeah, who knows?
But that's just them.
Oh, fuck.
I forgot to bring that in.
What?
I have this.
You're bringing the documentary?
God damn it.
I'm going to watch that.
I know.
Oh, wow.
I'll bring it in tomorrow if someone reminds me.
December 2nd is a Friday.
It is.
Nailed it.
We have to watch that documentary. Someone handed me a documentary.
It's called Coach Tank, and I still don't really understand how it was made,
who made it, what it's about.
They just handed me and David a DVD as we sat down to do Rough and Rowdy.
So we have to watch that.
Frank was standing there during that fight watching them fight like that.
Oh, yeah.
Frank was hovering over them.
Front and center right behind us the whole time.
What were you?
He was on his phone the whole time.
The whole time.
Jerry, Sash, you guys were there?
Sat next to each other.
Sat next to each other?
Talk at all?
Yeah.
What did you guys talk about?
Oh, congratulations, Sash.
Thank you.
And Jerry O'Day.
1-0.
1-0.
Jerry, were you gassed?
I saw you shadowboxing every fight. I was tired. I was tired. That's a lot. That's a lot of effort beat. 1-0. 1-0. Jerry, were you gassed? I saw you shadowboxing every fight.
I was tired.
I was tired.
That's a lot.
That's a lot of effort.
You were in it.
I respected that.
I was hella out of it.
Yeah, but me and Sass pretty much took our relationship to the next level, I guess.
Oh, really?
He was texting a lot.
Were y'all boys?
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
The only thing I will say is I wish we were able to hear Big Cat and Dave at the fight.
It was incredible. The whole thing was the fight It was It was incredible
The whole thing
It was fun though
It was a really fun night
Yeah
It was very fun
You couldn't hear them at all
No
Damn
You were like close
Change seats with Frank next time
It was loud
It was loud there
Yeah
Super loud yeah
Yeah
I'm trying to think
What other memorable
I mean the
First fight
The cartoon knockout
I still can't get over that guy
He still doesn't know he got knocked out.
He bounced, Big Cat.
He bounced.
He went like he was as stiff as a board and bounced.
Can we see that one, TJ?
Apparently that's like a common thing, though.
Like when fighters get knocked out, they just don't know.
Yeah, he was ready to get his hands lifted to win.
Caleb after was like, what do you think happened?
He's like, I don't know.
We just fought. Like any big knock happened? He's like, I don't know, we just fought.
Any big knockouts?
He's like, nope.
Yeah, I was listening to an episode of Joe Rogan
where he was talking about some guy that he had on the podcast
and the guy was like, I didn't get knocked out.
And they had to show him the video and be like,
this is you getting knocked out.
That kind of happened the other night.
That guy that took the big kick to the face
acted like he won the fight afterwards.
Yeah, they have no idea. Look at him. He's just... Look how hard he night. That guy that took the big kick to the face acted like he won the fight afterwards. Yeah, they have no idea.
Look at him.
He's just.
Look how hard he bounces.
That's crazy.
It was like 20 seconds in, too.
And then we went to Saratoga.
Had a hell of a time in Saratoga.
Beautiful polos.
Thank you.
Oh.
Oh.
Wait, what happened? Wait, what happened?
Wait, what happened?
It's a flash knockdown.
So he got knocked out by the punch, knocked back in by the floor.
Yes.
Dave spends the next 30 minutes trying to figure out what game brand was.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I don't think I saw that one mark.
It happened 20 seconds into the whole card.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
It was that fast.
Yeah.
It was incredible.
Uh-oh, Frank.
Uh-oh, he's out.
Frank.
His vision's based on movement.
Don't move.
There was a moment before.
Oh, he's waving to the people at home.
There was a moment before in the green room where I said it was like,
it was incredible because Jerry quickly became like the fourth craziest person in the room.
It was like Frank was sitting there.
Kirk walked in.
Who else was in there?
There was other people who walked in and it was just like.
I went silent.
Yeah.
All of a sudden it was like, you know, it's a crazy room when Jerry's like the most normal person in the room.
Jerry was sleeping in the corner because he had a headache.
Was Stu Finer?
Was Stu Finer?
Stu Finer was in there.
Yeah, Stu, yeah.
Got into drag by the end of the night.
Stu came in just talking like he was in a morgue.
It was very weird.
I don't know.
He just like, I think he thought maybe Alex was going to lose.
I think everybody did.
Yeah.
Stu was like super nervous.
Yeah.
Which I was shocked by.
I was like, I did not think that Stu could have that emotion.
Yeah.
I'm proud of Doug's.
He got his ass kicked.
Stood in there, though.
Stood in there.
He yelled his hand.
It's also very funny that Dave aptly pointed out, like, I didn't know we had a war with Canada.
Doug's like, I'm fighting for freedom.
Wait.
Canada's pretty free.
Vaccine mandates and such.
That's true.
The truckers.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Blue Jays having an advantage over.
That's true.
It was a little bold, too.
He knew he was a dog, and he also just put all of our independence on the line.
Yes.
Yes. So we have to give that up. I'm trying to think what else three rounds is impressive so that's done we're not free anymore nope nope yes saratoga was fun we hit big gary lost his mind
almost fought us well no i didn't i was mad at you yeah i know for the polo? Well, no. So how it works is we split.
All four of us are betting.
And then if you win, take back what you bet.
But then you split the winnings four ways.
And we were at race eight or nine.
And Jerry was up on the day, and he hadn't won a single bet.
Yeah, so I was profiting.
I was just handing him money.
So I finally handed him. It was probably the i was just handing him money so i finally handed him
it was probably the third or fourth time i hit it i hit him two thousand dollars cash
and i was like there you go buddy you're still up he stormed off and he was gonna get an uber
from saratoga he was so mad yeah i mean he hit one it's a shitty feeling you know when you're
not hitting and you're just taking people's money.
And I hit it big.
Yeah, pull up that video of Jerry hitting it big
because I actually thought he wanted to fight me.
Elio held me.
Elio, I thought.
Yeah, held you back.
It was like, we're going to fight.
Yeah.
And really, you just hit like a $35,000 ticket.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
That's gambling, baby.
It is.
It is.
That's good. You you guys do you find the
racehorse track to be like a cotillion for gambling etiquette what do you mean like i feel like that's
where it's most clear there's so many unspoken rules yeah so even than just sports betting yeah
it was hard we play it it's it was it's You wouldn't think this guy won a big bet.
Let's go, Jerry.
Let's go, Jerry.
Come on.
Come on.
I knew my boy would do it!
That's a monster right there!
Oh my God!
You had the same exact bet.
The horse track is...
There's nothing like horse racing because it's...
If you've never been, it is
the best way to spend an afternoon
because every 20 minutes or every 35 minutes, there's a new race.
You can have moments like that.
But the biggest problem is, you know, at Saratoga, obviously there's a lot of stoolies.
When things are going bad and people are asking for pictures, it's hard.
It's very hard.
That was the hardest part because, like, I love meeting stoolies,
but, like, when we're getting our dick kicked in,
someone, like, wants to talk.
It's like, dude, I just lost, like, a heartbreaker.
Yeah, that's very tough.
Yeah.
Or, like, I would go up to put in a bet, like, right before the race starts.
And someone would be like, hey, can I get a picture?
Like, dude, can I get my bet in and then I'll do it?
But, yeah, it was a great time and it's like one of the only sports where you can have a come-up
like that that big yeah and jerry's a rat we also found that out why does it come huh how come
listen i'm i don't think it was ratting you know i'm big tone i'm a big tone guy whatever
and like you know big tone's been
pressing me he's been pressing me for a couple couple months now you know what's going on you
know what i mean i'm trying to get in i'm doing all these things i'm doing this and i just broke
it to him you know uh i had a conversation with dave one day and he's like i mean i could say
it's public yeah right yeah yeah i mean i had a convo with Dave one day, and he said, you know, Jerry, he's cringy on Twitter.
He's a cringy guy.
So, I mean, I told Big Tone, I said, hey, listen, maybe tone it down on Twitter a little bit.
Dave thinks you're cringy on Twitter.
You know, slow it down a little bit, and then maybe, like, you know, you could be in the mix and stuff like that.
And then Big Tone at the race track went up to Dave.
Big Tone was in the box with us.
He just came.
You invited him?
He showed up.
I actually didn't invite him in the box.
I think he just found us.
He's not a bad guy.
He was good with etiquette.
He was good with etiquette in the box for sure.
And then at the end of the day, he just went up to Dave one-on-one
and was like, hey, I know you think I'm cringy.
Dave had to be like, no, no know you think I'm cringy.
Dave had to be like, no, no.
What?
So Jerry's a rat.
Everything you tell Jerry, he'll tell someone else.
That's good because we don't typically hire cringy people.
Sure, that's a fact.
Big Tone, though, then Jerry sent him a text being like, hey, it's not going to work out.
And Big Tone was like, I'm just going to work harder.
I'm just going to follow you guys even more.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, Dave, we're supposed to go to the readers.
And I know in the group chat, Dave was like, I don't know.
You know, Jerry's a rat.
And I was like, fuck this.
I'm done.
You know, I'm going to text Big Tone.
I sent him a long message like, I like you a long message like I like you You're a good dude
Breaking up with him?
I don't know if you're right though
I think that was kind of nice to tell him
Yeah but you don't have to say
There's a way to say it
You can just be like
Put it on Dave
You got to tone it down
Not Dave thinks you're cringy
And then he walked up to Dave and was like
Heard you think I'm cringy
That's a tough spot
That's a wild move That's a tough spot. That's a wild move.
That's a tough spot to be in.
And it's also a tough spot to be in.
I mean, I'm getting pressed.
Oh, you got to learn how to beat the crowd.
Also, walking up and saying,
heard you thought I was cringy
is one of the cringiest things you can do to Dave.
But that's the thing with Big Tone.
I think he doesn't care.
I think he's just like, I'm going to power through.
No, the response back was, he'll be in Miami. Yeah. He's like, I'll be in Miami care I think he's just like I'm gonna I'm gonna power through the response back was he'll be in Miami yeah he's like I'm gonna he's like I'll be in Miami one day and
Dave's crew he's gonna power through it which I respect that in a weird way it's it's probably
not gonna work out but he really he's like I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing
I'm just gonna do it even harder and then Dave will someday be like, oh, not cringy.
Yeah, I think everything's cyclical.
Oh my god.
What?
What?
What were you saying, Owen?
No, I think everyone was curious what you were saying.
It was all good.
Brandon, you have a beef
with Mincy now. No, I don't. I called him.
We squashed it.
Oh, you did?
I called him about an hour late.
It was the weirdest beef I've ever had because it was the most innocent thing.
I've said a lot of shit about him, and he got mad at the most innocent thing I've ever said.
Yeah.
And it was just, and I was like, okay.
What did you say?
I called, and I said, I made fun of him last week when Dan made the Mincy Land Delight joke,
said somebody should make a song.
Somebody made the song, and then they made a shirt and mince went on twitter and said i love this so much i'm
gonna give the guy 50 of the profits if it hits uh or 50 of the bonus if it's a merch i'm like
wow what a what a giving guy give me 50 of something you had nothing to do with
and uh he he did not like that oh he went after you he got pissed the most piss he's ever been
and i've called him cross-eyed.
I've called him all kind of things.
And that was the bridge too far.
So you guys are good now?
Yeah, I called him.
I called him on Friday and said, let's figure this thing out.
Well, that's good to know that greed is something that strikes a chord with him if you ever need it.
It doesn't really seem like a let's figure this out thing.
It kind of seems like you have to figure it out.
Right?
Okay.
All these stories, he seems to be fine.
I mean, it seems to be a pretty one-sided.
I called, no, he took shots at me Friday, and then I called him.
After you've taken like 10,000 shots at him.
That's why I was hired.
One thing about him.
He was hired to be my enemy.
Yeah, I take shots at him.
Are you a little nervous that like when I, like we had a good day at the track,
a couple of those, put those in a row
that's $350
what?
$350 cash
tattoo
I mean I've agreed to it
I'm nervous you're not going to get it done
right here
you know what's crazy is that you never
asked anything about size
I think y'all
were saying it.
Y'all were saying it.
You said it had to be Stephen Chay's size.
And he also has never said on the arm.
Oh, it's going to be right here.
I could put it right here.
You can see it all the time.
I want to actually wear it right in the ear so when you're jerking off,
you see his face.
That would be perfect.
Work off of an Iverson sleeve.
Maybe we'll make his tits really big.
That would be so funny.
Lifelike.
What about property amendments and an arrow pointing towards your cock?
I like that too.
Like a mall t-shirt?
Why?
Then I wouldn't see it if it were on my chest.
But anytime you're fucking, he's fucking his head.
All right.
You could do a lot of different things.
350 is 350.
350 is 350.
That's a fact.
Do you guys want to hear something today? I was thinking, like, what are we going to do because i like i said i'm a little low energy
you're thinking about maybe tearing something yeah we can tear something what does the chat
want us to tear let's get into a debate let's get into a stupid debate chat throw out suggestions
now food tears are always contentious yeah they are. Let's tear some shit.
TV tears, movie tears.
We were having the debate on part of my take
about emasculating a man
and the difference between buddy, pal, chief.
And boss.
Yeah.
Which ones do you think are the worst?
I think pal's pretty bad.
Pal is really bad.
I think buddy can be bad.
Chief is fine and boss is fine, in my opinion.
My mom calls me Powell.
Really?
Oh, that's a verbal bitch slap, dude.
There you go.
Really?
Well, yeah.
I mean, you live in her house and don't pay rent.
I don't pay rent, but I help out.
Right.
Powell seems to assert the higher.
How much do you help out?
I help out more than I have to, I'd say.
I think Chief is pretty bad.
Big head of your topics.
It's moving too fast.
Half of y'all shut up.
I can't.
Hottest Barstool employees.
No one's ever done that.
Should we do hottest pregnant Barstool employees?
Oh, we could do Pokemon.
We could do Pokemon and just
fuck with Nick. Let's do a quick
Pokemon just based on...
Yeah, let's tier some Pokemon real quick,
then we'll do a different one.
Just based on their looks?
Oh, I like gas station snacks tier.
No?
No.
I don't like that one.
I don't know.
I didn't come up with one, Sass.
Comedians?
No.
Let's tier comedians.
Yeah, the last station snacks is just so overdone, I feel like.
We're doing that on the way to... Show'll just tear them off off look alone if we
tear comedians i've never heard of tom segura so i hope that's okay that is i don't really think
that's that weird people were freaking out about that i don't think that's that crazy what that
josh didn't know who tom segura was which josh josh just sat here and challenged rome to a fight
oh rap battle.
It seems like he didn't know a lot of things.
Yeah, I would.
Yeah, I mean, but he doesn't like that kind of comedy, so.
Comedy, comedy?
Oh, okay.
All right, here we go. Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
We're going to tear all of them?
No, we can't.
What's?
This is too many.
Who did this?
All of those ones at the bottom.
I like that blue circle thing in the middle.
I like the red dragon guy right there where the mouse is.
He seems like a good dude.
Which one?
Charmander, Charmeleon, or Charizard?
You know these guys.
The original ones, yeah.
Who's the guy top right doing the scene from The Office with the guns?
Jerry's right there.
Let's put Jerry in the top tier.
Which one's Jerry?
See him right there, that rat
Oh, Squirtle, is that Squirtle?
Is that a snake?
No, Squirtle, yeah
Squirtle's an A tier
What about Bulbasaur?
Oh, Bulbasaur's not as good
No, he's a C tier
Can we put Pikachu in should have been a Yu-Gi-Oh tier?
Oh yeah, Pikachu's a...
I think Pikachu's lame.
What?
Yeah.
What's that?
What is that?
A piece of grass?
What is that?
A piece of lettuce?
This is Metapod.
Yeah, he's an S tier.
He starts as Caterpie, and then it turns into a Metapod, and then it turns into Butterfree.
Well, I don't like the butterflies at all.
Give us the Metapod as an S tier.
Metapod's best move is Hardin where it just gets harder.
Oh, nice.
And doesn't do anything.
Okay, perfect.
He's S tier.
We got to just fill out.
What about Beedrill?
He's like a big B.
And what does he do?
With a drill.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Yeah, put him in the S tier.
Yeah.
Is that a porcupine down there?
This one's called Ekans, which is snake spelled backwards.
Get it?
Okay.
Yeah, he's a B tier.
And then this one's called Arbok, which is cobra spelled backwards.
Get it?
TJ, are you-
Put him in the B.
I watched Pokemon as a kid.
You're a fucking nerd.
Just fill out the rest.
I don't really know.
Yeah, we're done.
Yeah, I just want to tweet it at Nick.
Yeah.
Got it.
Or actually, can you just put every single one in D tier?
No, no.
Let's make it so that people are like, oh, shit.
Can you scroll down a little bit?
It actually did this?
Yeah.
What about Goldback?
What about Weeping Bell?
What about Weeping Bell?
Is that a cat?
Is this Weeping Bell?
It looks like a flashlight.
Okay, yeah.
Put him in the S tier.
What's an objectively bad one that we can put in the S tier?
And what's an objectively good one we can put in the bottom?
Is that guy a cloud?
Is that a palm tree?
Which one's a cloud?
There's coughing.
He looks like a cloud.
What are those balls?
Are they just balls?
This is Voltorb and...
You know all of these.
Jesus Christ.
It's just the original 151.
Yeah, it's just the original 151.
He's 151. Yeah, put the eggs in the
S tier and then put him in the bottom.
Those are like balls.
We'll put Mewtwo in the bottom
because he's like one of the best.
Okay, beautiful.
Okay.
Alright, perfect. I just want to tweet it Nick
Good tiering right there
Are there any openly LGBTQ plus Pokemon?
I would say Jinx and Mr. Mime are probably like that
Alright put one in the S tier
You assuming their gender?
Jinx
Well they're the only like humanoid ones
Okay now put
Put like some of the popular ones in the bottom.
Okay.
Can you just go get a Mario character and put him in there?
Yeah.
Can we put Luigi to this or something?
Can you?
I think so.
All right, yeah.
Let's add Luigi.
And I'll put him in S.
And maybe Ben Mintz in S.
Transgender got his ass beat at Rough and Roundy.
Is it her ass?
Her?
She just loaded up with those ones.
And her ass was beat.
And her ass was beat.
I thought.
Yeah, the crowd was a little too pumped about that for mine.
Yeah, she was, he was, whatever.
No, you got it.
He's getting messed up.
The whole entire time I was just thinking of that Shane Gillis bit in his special where he's talking about how, like, if you want rights, you need to start a good football team.
Yeah.
He's talking about the trans girls, and he's like, them some tough bitches.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Biggest surprise fight was that girl in, like, Lulu pants just walloping the tatted girl at the toe.
Yes.
That tatted girl was definitely yeah also
advertising yeah i thought she was gonna be yeah she got her ass kicked yeah it's it's it's tough
when you come in with like a shitload of tats and get your ass kicked and rough and rowdy and she
called it she didn't get knocked out either she was just like i'm done i think one of the fighters
nobody mentioned this he was high on meth meth and he killed his best friend.
What?
Killed his best friend, yeah.
Oh, is that the guy who went to jail?
I think so.
Yeah, fuck.
He got, like, messed up one night.
He got high and he just killed his friend, I think.
That's a pretty crazy night.
I wish Caleb would have brought that up on the stream.
Yeah.
That's kind of a downer.
You should have asked him.
So what was it like when you murdered your best friend?
Let's talk about that.
Any regret?
Tough to answer.
What should we tear?
If you guys had to murder, would you murder somebody you knew or a stranger?
Stranger?
What the hell does that even mean?
What does that mean?
I'd go American Psycho.
I'd just murder some homeless people.
It's like the old hypothetical, the button.
Didn't they make a movie out of it?
Yeah.
How many times did you press the button, Brandon?
If it was $100,000 every time you pressed the button.
Somebody dies?
Someone dies.
I would press it willy-nilly.
I would really press it.
What if it killed someone you knew?
It'd probably stop, but how close do I know them?
Very close.
Yeah, it'd stop then.
But you can't
yeah but they didn't know till it happened i know but it would it would affect me enough it would finally affect me i would finally have feelings about the button and i would not be able to keep
doing it yeah or would you be like well fuck it already killed uh yeah someone close to me some
of that too and then i'm so so sad i'm just like i'm just like yeah in the uh between two ferns
movie they interview who's john legend's wife chrissy teigen that's right uh they interview
her and she said she got famous by hitting a button and killing mr rogers really yeah as a
bit but she got famous funny had big titties i don't know the general The joke is that nobody knows. She got famous because she sucks.
Yeah.
I hate her.
Yeah.
I mean, it's...
She literally got famous.
She's a swimsuit model, right?
I've had a long standing...
I can't wait for them to break up.
And watch the internet explode.
You don't think so?
That would be legendary.
Nice.
That's beautiful, Brandon.
Thanks.
All right, do you have it, CJ?
Do you have to finish tier?
There's so many fucking things.
Have you guys ever seen Death Note?
You don't have to do too much.
I'm going to put Luigi and Ben Minson.
Okay.
What?
Have you guys ever seen Death Note?
No, what's that?
It's an anime, but he has a notebook where he can write down any name in the book and it can kill someone.
Would you use that?
You watch a lot of movies, don't you?
No, that's a show.
Or the same thing.
I've actually, like,
I've only seen a few episodes of the show.
I'm not a big anime person.
Oh, Casey is pregnant.
That's great.
Got knocked up.
How long have you known about that, Brandon?
About two months.
Wow.
I've known probably for a month.
Yeah, I've known for,
from the beginning, right after they had sex.
She texted me.
O'Malley.
One felt like it stuck.
Alex!
They just found out Alex won.
Oh, nice.
They just what?
O'Malley, like, tackled her.
I think they just found out she won.
No, O'Malley was there.
She was there.
Yeah, no.
Owen was joking.
Oh.
No, she called out a fight.
Did she call out a fight?
Yeah, she's fighting in the next one.
You want Alex?
Eh.
She's right there.
I want her to fight again.
I'm retiring.
She can't fight, but she can. You are?
Yeah, I'm out.
Why?
Done.
Dude, you're 1-0.
Come on.
I don't know.
What went behind the choice of your outfit?
I was at Walmart, and I didn't know what to wear.
Everyone was like, Blues Brothers.
Yeah, but the Blues Brothers, they wear white shirts.
So not quite.
A little different.
It would have been great if you and Frank both were Blues Brothers.
It would have.
Yeah.
And Dave, I think Dave was a little salty because I was wearing a way better fit than him
and he was trying to wear what I was wearing.
Damn.
Should have gotten Dave a fedora.
He would have been throwing,
we would have been throwing fits.
Did you text us something along the lines of,
I think Dave is nervous around me?
No, I said it.
No.
Well, that, I mean,
don't put me on the spot like that.
That's not at all what I meant, though.
What did you mean by that
No I'm not gonna
This was
That was out of line
Why
So what part of
Do you think he was nervous
No I think
We're both socially awkward people
I don't think Dave's socially awkward
Okay
Well I don't want to talk about this
He's just socially awkward
Wait is he nervous by your
Your comedy or like
No
No
How good you are?
No.
You don't miss.
He's coming for the throne.
What do you think he's nervous about?
I don't think he's nervous.
This wasn't the question.
I don't want to get into the full thing.
Sounds like he's nervous.
I kind of feel bad for Dave.
Yeah.
What's nice about the Belmont St is uh it's actually more fun to
go not the day of because the other 364 days a year it's byob and you can get coolers and it's
a real good time get yourself out of this huh um well yeah why don't you have to get you out of
this i don't think it was that big of a deal no i don't either let's read the goddamn ad on
no saskin no i'm not That cadence that instills fear in our
boss.
You think Dave's
scared of you?
No, I don't.
You want to call him?
Do whatever you need
to do.
All right, someone
do the ad.
Two ads.
What is a men's
grooming line that offers products across hair, body, beard, and shave.
It works and smells as good as it looks.
My favorite scent is Piquant Golden Hour.
The product I use most is shampoo and conditioner, and it's all $15 or less.
Shop Wood at getwood.com or at your local CVS.
Brandon, you use it as well, no?
Yeah, sure do.
That's what I do.
I also use Shady Rays.
You can't overlap ads like that.
I thought it was time to go into it.
No, no, no, no.
And they're asking for sass for Shady Rays now.
Yes, I'm a Shady Rays guy.
That's a fact.
Brandon tried to steal it from me.
You see that shit?
I just look cool in them.
He said, I think I'm Mr. Shady Rays.
I just look cool in them.
That's all.
My fault. I'm as cool as me. No one looks as cool in them. He said, I think I'm Mr. Shady Rays. I just look cool in them. That's all. My fault.
Not as cool as me.
No one looks as cool as you.
No.
TJ, why don't we spin the wheel and let's figure out something good to tear.
Everyone think of something good.
What can we tear?
Best pussy.
Yes.
Okay.
Let's tear pussy.
Okay.
By shape.
My big head wasn't here on Friday.
Why?
What did we tear?
No, but we didn't tear
anything, but the wheel is now negative.
Oh, no. Yeah, the wheel's now less...
Shady Rays asked us specifically
not to tear pussy.
There's a lot of problems on this wheel.
Although,
that one is not.
Wheel reset's not, so it really just looks like
it is. Fuck.
24-hour fast would really suck right now we'd have to do it until tomorrow's show that's just not yeah that's
what we would do you said i would have 30 minutes or 20 minutes to walk out and eat i actually think
you would kill a man if you did if you went 24 hours without eating yeah that's the one i like
the least jerry's having a salad tonight for the first time in two years.
He announced that.
Why?
I don't know.
I want to switch it up a little bit.
I think a steak salad I'm going to do.
That's not a salad at all.
Anytime I do that, I just only eat the steak,
and then I just throw away the lettuce.
You're just having steak for dinner?
I guess, yeah.
Have a pre-cut up steak.
That's what you're having.
Yeah.
There's going to be tomatoes in it and red onions. Spin it. Oh, yeah. Have a pre-cut up steak. That's what you're having. Yeah. There's going to be like tomatoes in it and red onions.
Spin it.
Oh, shit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Look at that.
People are going to be so mad.
We have to spin again, but that's okay.
Yeah, we do have to spin again, but holy shit.
The eye's going fucking.
Reset that bitch. Yes. That was a good spin big cat oh i watched uh silence
of the lambs for the first time last night first time yeah i also watched seven for the first time
i liked that one you have a bad weekend why are you watching these movies you when i watch one
movie that i really like then then I'm just like,
I want to watch another movie like that.
So I watch Seven,
and then I watch Silence of the Lambs.
I've never even seen Seven.
Seven's good.
Seven's very good.
Silence of the Lambs is a classic.
Classic.
You got to watch...
So the second one sucks.
I think they did Hannibal.
Red Dragon is awesome.
Oh, really?
Yes.
I think it's the third.
Red Dragon is very, very good.
I saw that in a recommended movie, but I didn't know that was-
Oh, shut up.
If we have to spin the fucking wheel and do all these things, then you got to deal with
the wheel reset every now and fucking then.
There's nothing that... You can't say the wheel's rigged and then say the wheel's just.
It's just all the time.
You guys, that's why the wheel came up like this, because you guys don't respect the wheel.
Yeah.
You give it L's when it, this is on you.
We got to figure out something that all the commenters have to do
if the wheel lands on it.
Why do they want a SAS specific punishment?
I don't know, it's just one dude?
Yeah.
I like he's making a lot of, it's probably Dave.
Okay.
If Dave just every day at 1 o'clock logged on to comment on the yak all day.
He has never come on the show since we asked him to.
No, he did once.
He did once.
All right, so we got to spin it again.
Oh, look at all that drive.
It's so much drive.
But now it's...
Oh, no.
Yep.
Hey!
Oh!
Nope.
Womp womp.
Love it.
What would we do if it came up on that?
We then spend to see who it is, or how does that work?
Yeah, because someone has to go with Roan,
but isn't there a belief that Roan's going to not show
and make you eat with, like, Pete or Nate?
Yeah, one of the T-E ending names in the office.
One of those.
Let me see that. Let me see that.
Let me see that tier, TJ.
Pete, Nate, Kate, Lute.
Lutes, yep.
We got a Lute.
We got a couple Lutes, actually.
The sales team's mainly Lutes.
Okay, I'm going to tweet that out.
And mince.
He looks... Send it mince. He looks...
Send it to me.
He looks fine.
I'll just take a picture.
This is going to get people fired up.
I was going to tweet from the yak.
Oh, yeah, you can tweet from the yak.
Yes, yeah, I'll just get it from there.
All right, so what are we going to tier?
Should we tier our favorite Shady Rays glasses?
Brandon, you're Mr. Shady Rays.
What's your favorite?
Oh, you're Mr. Shady Rays.
Give us three of your favorite Shady Rays.
I've only got one pair.
They're a black pair, and they're wonderful,
and I've wore them all weekend on the shore,
and I look great.
Problem on the shore this week?
Oh, yeah, I've heard you live there now.
I live there for another week,
and then I'm finally moving into my house next week hopefully am i doing the ad now is that
what's that yes okay sure uh shady rays has the essentials you need to make summer complete i was
on the shore in my sunglasses that's why most of my fans couldn't tell who i was this weekend it
was nice not to be mobbed not to be uh treated like some piece of meat it was fantastic had a
good time.
Every pair backed by lost and broken replacements.
I've never had a pair of sunglasses over three days in my entire life.
Yeah.
But if I did lose or break these, Shady Rays would replace them, no problem.
That's a big deal.
I had a technique where I would sort of only get crappy glasses
because I was so nervous I would break or lose them.
But then with Shady Rays, now I find that sweet spot.
Well, with crappy glasses, you might as well not even have glasses.
Exactly.
It's a waste.
They're a waste.
These are good glasses.
They also provide 10 free meals to fight hunger in America with every order.
Donated over 20 million meals to date.
Look good in your shades and feel good by making an impact.
For our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their very best deal of the season.
Go to ShadyRays.com.
Use code YAK for 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses.
ShadyRays.com.
Code YAK.
50% off two pairs of polarized sunglasses.
Hit it.
Hit it, Sass.
If you get two, that's BOGO, if my math is right.
Yeah, that is.
That is.
That's a BOGO.
That's a smoking hot deal.
Hit it, Sass.
That's a flaming BOGO.
I'm going to find it.
It'll come. It'll come at some point. You don't have it there at all times? It's deep. Find it. Hit it, Seth. That's a flaming bogo. I'm going to find it. It'll come.
It'll come at some point.
You don't have it there
at all times?
It's deep.
Find it.
Find it.
You got it?
It's, no.
Oh, man.
Oh.
He's right.
I don't have it right now.
Come on.
We can't expect that of the man.
I don't have it right now.
Just before two.
Yeah, I'll get it at some point.
Don't tell us when.
If you don't,
we're going to make Owen do it.
Yeah, please.
I'll find it. Low energy.'t tell us when If you don't we're gonna make a one do it Yeah please I'll find it
Low energy
Long weekend
Come on find it
Shady Rays baby
It's Shady Rays
Don't put disgrace
Maybe it's Shady Rays
Don't put disgrace
It's Shady Rays
They should just change the name of the entire company to that
It's Shady Rays baby
Yeah
Sports
Sports Shady Ray's baby? Yeah. Sports?
Sports?
Shady Ray's baby sports?
Every company should end with sports.
Yes.
Apple Sports.
I thought this was Barstool Sports.
The fuck is this shit?
We tier list baby names for Casey.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that will get some people upset.
I think biblical names are coming back in a big way.
Are they?
Yeah.
I think people try to get very creative these last 10 or 20 years.
Is it going to be a boy or a girl?
I think we're going to go back to Jebediahs and Ezekiels, et cetera.
Oh, you know?
I can't tell you. So we'll do both.
We'll do boy or girl.
Well, there's no reason to do both.
I've got to see if I can tell.
You definitely can't.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you definitely can't.
I want to tell.
I want to tell.
Is it both?
Is it twins?
I want to tell.
Although, we won't know the baby's gender until the baby's like three and it can pick it.
Yeah.
Well, you could pick that shit at 53.
Fuck. Okay. i won't tell well one thing i will say about uh my last thing about silence of the lambs was was hannibal lecter supposed to like just rule yeah like he was awesome yeah i
supposed to love him yeah yeah bernard hawkins he's like the best. The other guy. That's a fighter, Jerry. That's a fighter.
I'll look it up right now.
We're all fighters.
You can look it up.
Sir Anthony Hopkins is the actor.
Bernard Hopkins.
Bernard Hopkins is the fighter.
Jerry's going to look it up right in your face, Brandon.
We're going to see a welterweight champion of the world.
Bernard Hopkins.
He was great, though.
Great fighter.
Well, actor.
Well, Anthony Hopkins, actor.
Great in that movie. I think you have to call him sir. Anthony Hopkins, actor. Great in that movie.
I think you have to call him sir. Yeah, he was a badass in the movie.
I ate her liver with some fava beans.
What's that one line he says?
Hester Moffat. No, no, no, no, no.
It's an anagram.
Oh, no, no, no. What is it?
Benjamin Rasbell. That's an anagram.
The rest of me.
What was your impression of? Those limes need to be
silenced. I ate her liver with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti
that part was awesome
also when he fucking kills all those
guards
she got me fired up
yeah that was cool
it was he was just running shit
they couldn't
hold him down. And then when he
pulls the face off, I audibly gasped.
What's Hester Moffat?
It was a Wilhelm scream from South.
It was crazy.
I was like, fuck, he's dead.
And then all of a sudden he's in the ambulance and just
and I was like, holy shit.
That was the turning point of the movie for me that was when i was like
this is fucking awesome yeah um so looking at your own career when you shaved your head was that sort
of your taking off of the mask moment a lot like that one of my favorite moments when sass was like
this has nothing to do with the fact that i just got completely emasculated by dave on the dave
portnoy show i don't know if I would say emasculated.
Whatever you got to do,
you got to talk shit about me to get your clicks.
That's fine.
People are still bringing that shit up like a year later.
Every episode of the Dave Portnoy show.
You think it was probably because
when you went in there,
he was so nervous around you?
Could have been.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She won't let me.
Sass has for $3 million a year.
And I love how you're like,
you're surprised by that.
This bitch won't let me make it, Bellman.
Casey won't let me tell everyone
what the gender of her baby is.
She won't let me.
Damn.
That's surprising.
I thought she would say yes.
Here we go.
Can I do a gender reveal on the show?
Yeah.
Brandon, aren't you having a kid soon?
Why don't you just wait until you can reveal that kid's gender?
By the time you have three or four kids, you don't give a fuck what it is.
Yeah.
Are you guys thinking of adopting?
Yeah, my wife's pushing for that.
Nice.
Is there any sort of surprise with the gender of that, or do you know right away?
No, I think you would know beforehand. Is like an app there's like a i don't know how she's
in there type she's the one looking through all that so swipe it yeah i would hope it would not
be that i hope it'd be the quite opposite of that right no it's that you got to buy super likes it's
like a whole yeah it's a mess you're out of swipes for the day. I hope this kid likes me.
Every baby has an office quote.
You're like, ugh.
Basic ass infant.
How old is the baby you're going to adopt?
I don't know.
14?
No, probably.
She wants a couple.
What?
Multiple?
She wants to adopt children who are dating?
No.
So you're going to have like seven kids?
Okay, well, four plus two is six.
That's so many kids, Brandon.
I know that.
Four is plenty.
That's a lot of kids.
Six is a fucking, I mean, you got a team.
Yeah.
And a guy off the bench.
Yeah.
That's fucked.
You've said, and I kind of agreed, you were like, there's no difference between like four
and ten.
That in between is kind of all the same.
Once you get past three, it's all the same.
Yeah.
No, I'm sure seven or eight is different, but there's no difference.
No, you're just a weird family.
There's no difference between three and four.
I agree.
Once you get past, I think four is the last number that's normal.
Yeah, four is the last number that matters.
Everything that pass that, and you're just the weird family with a shitload of kids.
Yeah.
You got to get like a sprinter van.
Yeah, one of my best friends in high school was uh one of 13 whoa and uh yeah they do like homeschool but like you kind of just raise each other like i don't understand the 13 every
every family from the south that's older than me is one of like 19 kids one of 14 kids i understand
it they just super religious don't believe in condoms. Yeah.
Yeah, but.
But they damn believe in cream pies.
I mean, that literally means that they were just,
every time they had sex, boom, kid.
Yes, Dooley Clubhouse guy is here.
Rico's not happy about that.
Who's this guy with the frosted tips?
I don't know.
He's a hot body.
He's getting a tour. We need more hot bodies in this office. Yeah a hot body. Get a tour.
We need more hot bodies in this office.
Yeah, we do.
Inspire people.
Let's tier... Hottest in the office.
Yeah, Barstool male employees based on hotness.
Okay.
All right, yeah, that works.
Nick would want to be here for this, though.
Well, he's not.
Yeah, I talked about that.
Oh, this guy's getting a little...
Oh, shit.
Oh.
Hell yeah.
Whoa.
Wow. Yeah, get it. Oh. Hell yeah. Whoa. Wow.
Yeah.
Get it.
Get it to us.
Give us a one-two.
Look at this.
Oh.
That was awesome.
He was whooping on that thing.
I love those videos of UPS guys just dunking for a while when they drop off a package.
You see the Jews versus the UPS guys?
Oh, yeah.
Full five on five.
Nick's mad about the tier list. He's on demon
mode right now. You're a Jew,
right, Seth? I am, yeah. You guys love
hoop. Oh, yeah.
The NBA, in particular.
This guy's fucking shit up maybe we shouldn't do hotness
baby it's Shady Rays
we can't do hotness of men?
I don't know can we?
men like being objectified
but then people are going to be upset
we have to tell the guy
who we think is the hottest
we have to tell him in person I are going to be upset. Well, we have to tell the guy. They think sculpture is the game changer. We have to tell the guy who we think is the hottest.
We have to tell him in person.
Okay.
I'm going to fall back on this one.
Okay.
Oh, do they have to be on the blogger page? My pick was from upstairs for one.
Okay.
Let's just get it going then.
I think Joey is very attractive.
Well, he looks like you.
I think Jerry is also very attractive.
I would say Rudy's up there for sure.
Rudy's obviously the hottest guy here.
I'm just, all right.
You can't take Rudy, Jerry.
Rudy and Biz.
He said two people in front of him.
Yeah, but he was muddying the water, so when we took Rudy, it wouldn't be as obvious.
Here's my S tier.
Rudy, Biz, Fights. Fights't be as obvious. Here's my S tier. Rudy, biz, fights.
Fights is ugly as hell.
No, and fights has the ability, though.
Maybe he's the tier below.
Fights can go out and get it.
Yeah, he can get it.
He needs it for a night.
He can get it.
Fights wants to drop 50.
He can drop 50.
Like, I can't.
He just loves putting up eight and eight every day.
Right.
Well, the elephant, I mean, Roan's cute as hell. Roan is cute. I don't know just loves putting up Eight and eight every day Right Well the elephant
I mean Roan's cute as hell
Roan is cute
I don't know if he's hot
Yeah that's
That's the issue
I think Roan is hot
You do?
Yeah
I think he should be up there
I went to Pop Punk
A lot of people thought
He was violently hot
Really?
Yeah
When you're singing on stage
That's a
That's an advantage
She code
That's she code.
I wish we had something to tear.
I don't know what the fuck we're going to do.
Yeah, the hot one kind of blew over pretty quick.
Because it gets real hard to think of one.
Chat, give us some.
You don't got too many lookers in the office.
I will have better energy tomorrow.
I'm very tired.
Oh, we did Mutt.
Days?
Did you hear the days? Oh, that's so lame. Okay, we did Mutt's one. I'm very tired. Days? Tear the days?
Oh, that's so lame. Okay, we did months worth. Damn, sass. What the fuck?
Tearing is lame. You come up with something,
sass. Alright, question.
What are your guys' thoughts on the cars
that inch over the crosswalk when it's yellow?
You have a white walking man.
They have a green light, but they're
coming into your space. Wait, they have a green
light? Well, yeah, but they're supposed to yield to a walk.
Oh, I see what he's saying.
You have the light to walk.
It narrows your path.
Cars that just come in and they just inch up waiting for you.
Yeah, I mean, I get caught sometimes in the crosswalk and I just feel bad.
But New York City is different.
New York City, no one even cares.
If you're in the middle of the crosswalk, people just feel bad but New York City is different New York City no one even cares when I if you're in the middle of the crosswalk people just walk
around your car I was
I was walking home when we lived in
Hell's Kitchen and some dude like
went really deep into the crosswalk
like when it was red light and there's a cop behind
him so he goes to back up and he
slams into someone
oh shit like
runs someone over behind him, and instantly
the cop throws his sirens on. That's amazing.
Like, a person? Yeah. Whoa.
A human. And the person was fine.
I mean, they got, like, tapped. Yeah.
I mean, talk about bad luck.
The guy was like, oh, fuck, there's a cop
behind me. I probably shouldn't be in the middle of the crosswalk.
And then he runs someone over.
Remember we saw that
car, like, hit one car and try and get away,
and he just hit four more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how all crash.
There's never a one-on-one crash in the city.
It's always a lot of cars getting hit,
but there's never any bad crashes here.
No, a lot of scrapes.
Yeah.
I got in a screaming match with a lady who was crossing.
Not crossing, driving.
We got in a screaming match with a dude in the parking lot on Saturday night in Saratoga.
It was a nice little cheap thrill.
Yeah, it was nice.
We would have fucked him up.
Well, yeah, it was three on, four on one.
Yeah.
What was he doing?
Oh, boy.
This is breaking news.
What?
Oh, he announced it.
Francis is back.
Hell yes.
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck yeah.
There we go.
You could have caught that on boy dad four weeks ago yep
or the multiple times we've mentioned it on this show since then yeah actually we were on the you
gotta do it you know we were on the uh plane to west virginia when he sent dave the first uh draft
of the video of what he was going to post.
And it was like it started with all the headlines.
It was a girl dying and him getting fired.
And Dave and I were just like, I don't think anyone's going to bring it up,
but this is definitely people will bring it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Francis has some funny-ass jokes about that that he does on stage that kill me.
So he's back.
Yeah, when he signed his deal, I don't know, it was probably three weeks ago,
he immediately started a text chain with me and Roan being like Dumbo, Caravan.
Oh, the Brooklyn boy.
There we go.
He's back.
Francis is getting married this week, I think.
Yeah.
It's kind of fucked up we're not invited.
It is.
We're co-workers now.
It is fucked up.
Is anyone from Barstool going?
I doubt it.
I don't think so now.
You'll like Francis.
Yeah, he didn't remember me, but yeah.
Why would he remember you?
From what?
We've crossed paths before.
When? How? When he was We've crossed paths before. When?
When he was at BroBible.
You were there?
I wasn't.
I was affiliated with it, though.
And he didn't remember you?
Through Robbie.
So you didn't cross paths?
We've crossed social media paths, yeah.
And he didn't remember you?
Well, I liked one of his videos.
That's not crossing paths.
He liked one of my videos. Did you ever crossing paths. He liked one of my videos.
Did you ever DM him?
No, I don't think I helped him.
Oh, oh.
I didn't.
I don't think so.
Let's go through Jerry's DMs.
You can DM him now if you want.
Welcome him back to the team.
Give us your last three DMs on Instagram.
All right.
Oh, I like this.
Yeah, this is good.
It's tear jerry this is
very good and i'm gonna be received both uh sent all right uh sent would be my my buddy put up a
picture of his french bulldog who says it's this man's b-day where do you think he's going
and i said starbucks question? And he put yes.
Oh, that's good.
Okay.
That was disappointing.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't...
Did they get treats there?
Yeah, they had puppuccinos.
Huh.
Some guy was saying thanks for the cameo.
It was always JJ doing the draft order.
I said, right on, brother.
I mean, it's just like.
Why didn't he send that on Cameo?
Because I charged $199 to DM me on Cameo.
But him DMing me on Instagram.
How much is your Cameo charge?
So I did $25, and that was a mistake.
Why, too cheap or too much?
Not that it's too cheap.
It's too much quantity.
We're getting too many.
Yeah, yeah. But I i up to price since then okay how much is your price on cameo right now i think like 40 maybe
35 nice yeah damn yeah so i i uh i pretended to tie my shoe and then ended up screaming with this
woman for a while this morning oh that's awesome, because she was honking at a homeless person,
and then I stopped, and first I pointed at the walk and her
and told her to calm down.
Then she was yelling at me, so I just tied my shoe for the duration.
Nice.
Felt good.
I was like we were pulling in,
and this one car was about to take a spot to the left,
and we were about to take another spot across,
and the car didn't leave.
So then the guy took our spot, which he was there first,
so I let him take it, but I kind of gave him a stare down.
And then we circled back through,
and a motorcycle took a fucking parking spot,
and I rolled down the window.
I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
And the original guy walked back and was like,
fuck that guy.
So then we just got in a screaming match.
We're like, fuck you.
What are you going to do about it?
Jerry and I were saying that we should have just gotten out
with all of our cash from the track
and just been like, how much for your girlfriend?
Yeah.
Like 60 cents.
Just whip it out and be like,
what are you going to do now, pal?
Just take it with you?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
But there's nothing better than those cheap thrills where it's like you're not gonna do anything no one's gonna do anything
but just screaming at someone i like it because every day you go through life and you just like
take shit from i don't know random strangers right in daily life because you're like this
isn't worth it but every once in a while you gotta just have some fun that's kind of how I am on the DM, like on Twitter.
Yeah, you go zero to 60 very fast.
Well, I'll let like 50, 60 of them all kill yourself.
I'll let that go, but then one person just gets it.
Gets a hammer?
He does, yeah.
I just sent out a text.
Oh, let's see these.
Wow.
Yeah, these are good.
These are good.
Let's see what this one is.
Cameo, that's right. Wait, shout out to all These are good. Let's see what this one is. Cameo. That's right.
Wait, is that?
Does that one have no video?
The intro is funny.
I like the intro.
Live from Cameo.
That's right.
I said it.
Cameo.
Jersey Jerry is doing happy holiday shout outs.
Birthday shout outs.
New Year's shout-outs.
Any kind of shout-out you need, I'm giving it to you. All you got to do to book is find me on Cameo, Jersey Jerry, or hit the link in my bio on Instagram.
There's a video.
What the fuck is this?
This is going to be something special.
I'm going to show you right now.
It's the best.
Shout-out to all the fucking losers in the dewey league besides
michael i mean this guy's won the championship the last four out of ten years what the fuck are
you guys that's not that many what's the next one all right this is for the pine hills bowl
fantasy football league um see you guys got a little bit of a dilemma on your hands
and now you want Jersey Jerry to come in
and pick the draft order. So I
wrote them down on a piece of paper
and I'm going to
randomize this list here.
So I'm going to read them off here.
And I want to
start by saying this. Don't be one of those guys
man. Don't be one of
those guys from the Pine Hills
Football League that say oh
jersey jerry gave me a bad draft pick that's why i didn't win no stop it that's not why you didn't
win you didn't win because you don't know how to make a calculated draft pick the best team will
win the best roster will win so here we go i messed up with the first pick, we're going to go Pistol. Second pick, we're going Tomlinson.
Third pick, we're going Pugs.
Fourth pick, Casey.
What are we doing?
Fifth pick, Carmine.
Sixth pick will be Tyler.
Seventh pick, Jordan.
Eighth pick, Shine.
Ninth pick, Ken.
And tenth pick, Dom.
Hold on.
That's your fantasy football draft order, fellas.
There it is right there for you.
May the best team win.
And the best team will win.
Oh, you didn't mess it up.
That one was a waste, Jerry.
Yeah, it was a waste.
I mean, these people are just burning money.
You know what I mean?
I mean, listen.
Sometimes you got to be in the business of beating people.
That's not a good ad for your cameo.
No, they like it.
I mean, I'm number one.
That would be the best ad for you.
Yeah, I appreciate the honesty.
I'm the number one fantasy football in the country guy right now.
Really?
Who's number two?
Number two is Frank.
Oh.
Who's number three?
Am I somewhere Frank's money, by the way?
Three would be Robbie Berger.
Okay.
Fantasy football.
Who's that?
Robbie Berger.
Yeah, he's a brilliantly dumb, just superstar. You know him? I'm not going through this again. Yeah, He's a brilliantly dumb superstar.
You know him?
I'm not going through this again.
Yeah, he's a good friend of mine.
Interesting.
Isn't that where you came from?
Brilliantly dumb?
Yeah.
Yeah, you could say that.
Mm-hmm.
You could say that.
Before you got canceled?
This was after I got canceled.
What'd you get canceled for?
I don't want to get into it, Sass.
Oh, go ahead.
Sass had to get into some things.
Pretty much Bachelor Nation canceled it.
He said you had to get into some things, so he has to get into it.
Bachelor Nation canceled it.
It's okay, buddy.
He called one of the Bachelorettes fat.
I know.
What did you say?
I didn't say fat.
I said nothing special, pretty much.
What else?
Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. What else? Nothing.
I don't want to talk about it.
What else did you say?
Come on, because then they're going to...
No, I don't want to do it.
You can't re-cancel someone who's been canceled.
Yeah, you've already been canceled.
It's over.
Double jeopardy.
Look into it.
What does that mean?
You're in great company, though.
Louie, Cosby, et cetera.
You can't be re-canceled.
So Louie's back.
I don't think I've ever actually been canceled.
I think they tried to cancel me, but they couldn't. Are you uncancellable?
I don't think I am,
I would say. I'd say
you can be canceled. I've had some tweets
that were
at times. No one actually,
people don't really get canceled.
People get backlash.
You asked me to jerk you off.
I think Nick quit.
Yeah, Nick handed in his two weeks.
Yeah, he quit.
Ronnie?
Yeah, because of the Pokemon.
Because of the casing.
Oh.
Look how big this thing is.
Holy shit. That's awesome DJ
Thank you
Fuck
They're just in Alaska
Yeah
I know
It looks awesome
It does look awesome
I'm so jealous
It's the first time
I've been jealous
Of one of their trips
Cause usually
They're just
In places
They don't wanna be
Alaska's sick, though.
Have you been?
No, I want to go really bad.
You should go.
On the top of my list.
Why don't you just say you need mental health?
Mm-hmm.
I want to go somewhere soon.
Yeah, getting around that time where mental health,
you know, you got to take a break.
I'm going to Phoenix, Arizona in September.
Damn.
There you go.
Holy shit, that's awesome.
Who's out there?
Festooli.
Nick.
That's Nick, but Festooli's out there with him.
What a great view.
I wonder what they're doing.
Sass, you promised us a Shady Rays baby by 2 o'clock.
It's 1.58.
Just say no.
Come on, Sass.
1.58 and a half.
It's the kind of thing that you can only do when you really have it.
You promised it.
You always have it.
It's fine if you want to miss.
It's Shady Rays, baby.
What's today's date?
It's a little more...
Whatever it is, it's going down in infamy.
It's from the stomach.
It is guttural.
It's Shady Rays, baby.
You're not doing enough of an accent. There's a little bit of an accent in there. Now, were you drawn from Sweet Baby Rays. Shady Rays, baby. You're not doing enough of an accent.
There's a little bit of an accent in there.
Now, were you drawn from Sweet Baby Rays?
Shady Rays.
No, no, no, no.
This is a fully original.
This is an original concept.
I wrote, took me a long time to write that.
I want that baby back, baby back, baby back.
I want that baby back.
I'm a joker, baby.
Shady.
Shady Rays.
Come on, Seth. Come on, Sass.
Come on, man.
50 seconds.
50 seconds?
Well, I mean, this has been a low-energy show.
I'll just admit it.
I actually think we've had some good laughs.
Yeah, it's been fun.
Are we ending?
No, no, no.
But we would like a Shady Rays, baby.
Shady Rays, baby.
We can find something.
We can do a little low-energy.
I got nothing.
It's Shady Rays, baby.
That works for me. It's Shady Rays. baby. We can find something. We can do a little loan. I got nothing. It's Shady Rays, baby. That works for me.
It's Shady Rays.
What?
The names?
Well, we can't do the...
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, we'll have to wait, and then we'll fuck it.
Well, I'm sure she'll announce it sooner than later.
She's being selfish not announcing it, if I'm being honest.
I also know.
If you have a baby, it should be...
Why don't you do it? I'm not going to say that shit. No fucking way. I also know. If you have a baby, it should be.
I'm not going to say that shit.
No fucking way.
You do it.
That would be like crossing every line.
You think you're the godfather?
I say one, you say the other, and people have to decide which one's right.
No.
Oh, so there's two genders?
Oh, I see.
One of those situations.
Not the godfather. You're those situations. Not the godfather.
You're not going to be the godfather?
I don't think I've been asked yet.
You think you will?
I probably will.
I don't know if I'll do it or not.
Jerry, you seem like a guy who's probably godfather of like seven kids.
Actually, I don't think anybody would trust me with something like that.
Really?
I've never been asked.
Are you the godfather of your child?
No, no.
That would be kind of a power move.
No.
Is godfather yourself? Who's your godfather? be kind of a power move. Is Godfather yourself?
Isn't that a weak move? If the kid looks at you
as a godfather and finds out later you're actually
the real father. No, but if you're both.
Yeah. I've never been asked.
I wish I was. Who's your son's godfather?
My guy's staying with me. I gotta be honest.
I don't know the concept. I don't really get the concept.
I don't get it either. What is the concept of
Godfather? It's to raise
the parents in case of emergency, right?
Wouldn't your parents do that? Or your
siblings or someone?
Let me tell you about God
cousins. Oh, yeah, true.
God brothers. God brothers.
I think it's his God brother.
Or it might be his God cousin.
Yeah.
Frank has a God cousin.
I just assumed it was godfather so his name uh
abe yeah yeah it's his god cousin he was in la with us yeah he lives out there another god cousin
another god because he was frank in la wasn't he yeah for the trivia that's right you got a hot dog
review with che in the background in a hot dog costume.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
It's not funny, but it was kind of funny.
Jeff got really bad news, and Frank wouldn't stop singing.
Oof.
Yes.
His dad died, yeah.
Yeah, that was the news.
Yeah.
He was asking Frank to stop singing.
Frank refused to shut his blinds.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that. We all saw Frank. Yeah. to shut his blinds. Oh, yeah. I remember that.
We all saw Frank.
Yeah.
He gets changed
upside down.
Positions that guy
can get in
is insane.
It's shocking.
You wouldn't think
he'd be able to get
his legs over his head.
Perfect six pack.
Oh.
That would be awesome
if Frank was pure muscle.
He wouldn't
like the outfits look like he just picked them
but he tries on a million like a Hollywood
montage every time. Just throwing
him up and he's spinning around. It's so fun.
Frank's 4% body fat.
Just a steel.
Just pure
muscle.
Oh fuck. Oh we have a firing day on Thursday
Big meeting
It's gonna be fun
What's up with that thing tomorrow
I don't know
Is that for everybody
It's just like a preseason sports book
Tell us what we can say about gambling
Jerry you gotta be there
Yeah I will
What's up with the firing thing?
Someone's getting fired.
Someone's getting fired.
Yeah, every summer.
Is this your first firing day?
Yeah, I think it would be.
They draft out of a hat, like the Hunger Games.
I heard they're doing the wheel this year, actually.
Nice.
Every employee's on it.
Are you in charge of getting fired, Jerry?
Yeah, here's what it is, you know.
Jerry just kept on mumbling when he was losing every race.
He's like, going to have to renegotiate with Dave.
Going to have to renegotiate with Dave.
Yeah, it was birthday party money.
Yeah, son's birthday party.
He's not going to remember one?
Yeah, no.
You did the same thing.
I did not have a big party for either of my kids.
I mean, we got pizza and cupcakes.
Jerry rented out fucking MetLife Stadium.
Was it the second year when you got home and there were just a bunch of kids in your house?
Yeah, I think that was, it might have been this year.
Those early birthdays, more networking with the parents?
It's more about the adults.
It's much more about the adults.
It sucks.
Tommy grabbed the the candle
his first birthday instead of blowing it out he just reached out and grabbed it yeah the first
it's always like beast dude yeah i mean they're fun because it's like cool for the parents like
oh my kid is a year older but like yeah in terms of the actual party like did you do like a theme
brandon was there like a theme no i just rented a a water slide the age of reason fascinates me like just that you're not
really gonna remember much before seven
so like these guys just blackout drunk
those five four whatever it is like I
remember it's like it's like dealing
with drunk people they're not remember
what you said child's brain is is drugs
yeah they're on drugs like their moods
and just everything,
like one minute they're just sprinting around,
the next they're crying, the next they're this.
It's drugs. They will remember a random sentence
you say five years ago. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Louie has a bit about that where his
daughter's talking to him and he's like, literally
nothing you're saying matters at all.
Nothing
you have ever said has mattered.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
Should we end it?
I got to do the rundown, so.
All right.
Well, tomorrow I'll have energy.
I'm going to sleep tonight.
I'm going to sleep tonight.
I haven't slept the last three nights.
I slept like four hours.
I was sleeping with Jerry on Friday night.
He was just rolling around farting yeah you were once a couple times woke up wet ones or no and then he illegally taped
me while i was sleeping well he was taping on the white noise machine which he had agreed to
i did agree i told him i was like hey just so you know, I sleep with a noise machine.
He's like, okay, no problem.
I wake up, sitting there on my phone.
Video of me sleeping.
What was that hanger on the blinds thing?
That's to keep the light out.
You know when you go to a hotel and the blinds don't always...
Yeah, they got that little four-inch gap.
Yep, so you grab the hanger And you just
Yup there it is
Galaxy brand move
That's the move
Right there
Anytime you go to a hotel
That's the move
Just cinch them together
You guys like
Living out of hotels
No it sucks
I've been in a hotel
For every weekend
For the last like
Six weeks
Checking into a hotel
The first moment
You check in
Is always fun Oh I disagree I think that's the worst a hotel the first moment you check in is always fun.
I disagree. I think that's the worst part.
Having to actively check in.
Getting into your room
when it's clean and you're like,
oh, this is a pretty nice room.
And then when you wake up
the first thing you're like, oh, shit,
I'm here. It's not even that.
It's when I wake up and then the housekeeping is
knocking on the door and you're just yelling
no thanks from your room
and they don't stop knocking and you gotta
go over and they're like, do you not need any
towels or anything? It's like, no, you guys gave me three
towels. I'm here for one night. Why would I need
more towels?
Yeah. Seriously, like, why would
I need more? I was at a hotel
when I was in Atlanta and they gave me a big ass bag
of towels. It's like, I'm checking out in like five hours.
What did you do?
You hit her over the head with it?
Yeah.
Knocked her ass out.
Get the fuck out of here.
Jerry turned on the shower on Saturday morning and just got all the towels wet.
He's just like, where are the towels?
He turned on the shower, and he's like, oh, shit, they're in the shower.
This weekend when we were in West Virginia for Rough and Rowdy,
I drove there from the airport and back. It's like a three-hour drive. shower and when this weekend when we were in west virginia for rough and rowdy i had to i was i drove
there by air from the airport and back it's like a three hour drive and uh i slept in on sunday
or on saturday morning and i woke up to like like alarms going off in my room yeah there's like some
sort of like there's some sort of like buzzer that if someone's asleep, they slam it down.
So there's people knocking on my door and this fire alarm going off in my room.
Yeah.
How late?
30 minutes.
We were supposed to meet at 8.30 and I was asleep at 9.
Oh, shit.
And I had the keys to the car.
Oh, shit.
So there's buzzers going off in my room and shit.
Were you late to the airport?
No.
We got to the airport like two hours early.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I can't be the one to be like, guys, we don't need to be there until literally like ten
minutes before the flight is in the air.
So you didn't get home until when?
Four.
Oof.
Yeah.
Oof.
Yeah, it was rough.
Flying private's pretty fun.
You don't like it, Jerry?
No.
Why?
I'll take those for you.
What the fuck?
How do you not like that?
I just think it's a lot scarier.
Yeah, tiny ass plane.
You feel it, but you can just drive there and get right on the plane.
That's cool.
I'm flying with my buddy in October, which I'm pretty nervous about.
He's flying?
Yeah, he's been in Arizona for the past 10 months.
That's my take.
Flying doesn't suck.
Airports suck. That's what sucks about Flying doesn't suck. Airports suck.
That's what sucks about traveling.
Airports and sitting and waiting and doing all that shit.
I don't even think the airport sucks.
I think it's the actual being on the plane before it takes off.
The worst part of flying is being on the plane before it takes off and then waiting for them
to open the gate when you land.
The easiest part of flying somewhere is the actual time that you're flying.
That's fine.
It's everything else that sucks. If you can get rid of that flying is incredible i don't understand the
whole like security like i don't like when i was younger we used to go to when i was traveling with
my family would go to the airport like four hours early and that was probably right after 9-11
because there was a period where it was like really shitty yeah fool. Yeah. When they implemented all the...
TSA wasn't a thing.
No.
And then 9-11 happened,
and it was like,
oh, we should probably be checking everyone.
And then it took a long time
for them to get it correct.
It was kind of COVID.
They just never tightened back up, I feel.
Now it's still nice and quick.
Yeah.
Relatively.
Yeah, I haven't waited for more than 10 minutes.
Denver, have you ever been to the Denver airport?
That security line is fucked.
That was just their grit week.
Thanks for watching.
I don't know.
I mean, you fly private.
I don't know if you flew private out there.
Not for grit week.
Yeah, come on.
I didn't even have a first class ticket on the way out.
Oh my God.
Man.
Wait, on the way back, did you?
I did, yeah.
Okay.
Grit week is over, though.
Yeah, I gave it to PFT.
That's the fucking kind of guy I am. That's nice of you I gave it to PFT that's the fucking
kind of guy I am
it's nice of you
yeah
did PFT
wrote first class
yeah he did
oh
he texted me with
don't meet your heroes
with 30 minutes left
in the flight being like
if you want to switch
we can
I was just like
okay
you're over western
Nebraska and he's like
let's
let's
let's
yeah
alright
we'll see everyone tomorrow
God bless.
Full energy.
See ya.
See ya. It's the act It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankees love
It's the act
It's the act