The Yak - Steven Cheah: Barstool's Only 5 Tool Player | The Yak 10-26-21
Episode Date: October 27, 2021Jersey Jerry army. For life.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All in favor of replacing Jersey Jerry,
replacing Brendan with Jersey Jerry full time, say aye.
Oh, damn.
I tried to get the vote for you there.
Shit.
We say loyal to our guy.
No, we were loyal as fuck.
That was fucking ridiculous.
Brandon, I hate him to death, but I would never turn on him like that. It was a test. No, we were loyal as fuck. That was fucking ridiculous. Brandon, I hate him to death,
but I would never turn on him like that.
It was a test.
No, and I like Jerry a lot.
But Brandon has been saying mean things about Jerry.
What?
Where is Brandon?
He's sick.
Thirsty.
Something you know a lot about.
Yeah, I'm never sick.
A little sick boy.
What's up, boys?
Jerry's here. Jerry's hard to do
like that.
You know how it is. You know what I mean?
Otherwise, we'd be no better than Brandon.
You know what I mean? The way he was disloyal to you. What did he do?
You kicked him out of the army.
He's done.
Disloyal? Dishonorable?
I'm not saying we did anything.
I'm just saying it's just a coincidence how he's sick now.
What the fuck is that slim-ass dude?
He's not that slim, is he?
Yeah, when did he get so slim?
God damn, he's probably depressed.
Oh, dude, he probably is.
It's a rough summer for him.
He lost 40 pounds after the fucking Travies for the boys.
I think he did.
We're joking about it, but I can see that being a major...
Dude, do you think anyone here doesn't go through depression?
Do you think anyone in here doesn't internalize negative comments about themselves?
I don't think Nancy doesn't go through depression.
No.
No.
He's like a horse with blinders.
It's always somebody else.
The blinders keep all the negative shit out.
He'd get depressed if his, how many people knew him, went under 50%.
I could never, literally never happen.
Physiologically couldn't happen.
No.
Statistically impossible.
Statistically, that just...
It's an anomaly.
Could never happen.
Jerry, we'll redo the vote at the end of the show,
so no pressure.
No problem.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just take the temperature of the room.
Brendan's got some fans here, I guess.
Yeah, he's got fans.
Yeah.
He's not in the army.
Nope.
Fuck that. Can he be a mercenary? Nah, fans. Yeah. He's not in the army. Nope. Fuck that.
Can he be a mercenary?
Nah, he's done.
He's just done.
He's done.
Oh, what is...
Okay.
My top guys would die for the cause if push came to shove, so for someone to say this
is a fake army really just gets me upset.
You're just the chief of staff in your own army?
Yeah.
Commander in chief.
He's like Dwight Schrute being the bellboy at the Hell Hotel.
You're the general.
You're the secretary for your army?
I got a guy.
Oh, you have a general?
Yeah, but nobody knows who he is.
Oh, shit.
Is it me?
I didn't say that.
It might be me.
Are you the general?
Am I the general?
It could be any of us if nobody knows.
It could be any of you guys.
Does the person know?
They don't.
Those are oftentimes the best generals.
They don't even know they have the job.
That's just powerful.
Okay.
Very powerful.
That's very, very powerful.
They can't be compromised if they don't know they're the general.
Who's that African warlord, like General Buttfuck?
Yes.
Naked.
General Buttfuck.
Butt naked?
Butt naked, yeah.
You made him General Buttfuck.
I mean, he was in the Book of Mormon, I think.
He was like a main character in the Book of Mormon play.
He's a bad person, right?
I don't know.
Depends on how you look at it.
Depends on how you look at it.
Child soldier guy?
One of those? Yes, sir. Well, then what other way can you look at it. Is he a child soldier guy? One of those?
Yes, sir.
Well, then what other way can you look at it?
What point of view do you have?
It's very American to think that soldiers have to be 18.
There you go.
Very American.
Hey, Steven, how are you doing?
We need to check in on him.
He had his big presentation with Dave today.
Are you okay?
Are you doing well?
Yeah.
I just had a follow-up conversation with him about certain Are you okay? Are you doing well? Yeah.
I just had a follow-up conversation with him
about certain things.
What?
I don't know.
Tell us exactly what happened.
No, I mean tune in tonight.
I'm not trying to tune in tonight.
I'm not trying to wait.
I want to know from you.
You're our guy.
You are our guy.
Give us the exclusive.
You've been on this show
longer than you've been
on the Dave Portnoy show.
That's a fact.
Okay, I mean...
Yeah.
How much do I get into it? Just give us a general vibe. People can... You don't. That's a fact. Okay, I mean, how much do I get into it?
Just give us a general vibe.
People can, you don't have to tell us everything.
Okay, so the background of it was,
Big Hendo's is that I did pitch going full-time content,
I think maybe in like late May or early June or something like that.
And I talked about it with Dave and with my bosses,
Jen and Deirdre.
They're cool with it.
And I talked to Dave and Erica,
and things and things started
to slow down a little bit.
I pitched them both a presentation
that I also pitched to Big Cat around
that time, which he loved.
I loved it.
You're a sucker for PowerPoints. I am a sucker for PowerPoints.
I'm a sucker for organizing
thoughts. He did the entourage one.
He called himself a
five-stool player. Steven Che. The called himself a five tool player.
Steven Chey.
The only five tool player in the industry.
What are those five tools again?
Diehard fan of one team.
That's of course one of the known tools.
That's not even one of your eight best tools.
Diehard fan of one team.
Gambles on sports.
It seems like a lot of people who now have at least two of these tools.
Go ahead.
Facts.
Okay.
Film community.
Respect the voice of the film community.
I'm out.
This is like the never have I ever.
You're like, drop your hand down.
I'm out.
I'm missing that tool.
NFL draft.
Voice in the NFL draft community.
Still don't have that tool.
Rowan, you're back in.
I feel like the film community, there's some people in the film community who follow me.
No, but you're not in the film community.
You don't produce.
You don't produce. Now we're moving the goalposts.
That's what that means.
Can any of us make up five tools that pertain to us?
No, no, no, no.
These are the five tools.
No.
If you read the fine print of your Barstool contract,
it definitely says these are the five tools.
These are the five, and I agree with that,
but it's just exclusive to NFL media people.
I am the only person.
Nobody else has.
I can't even think of anyone that has three.
The only person has four.
I have three, I think.
What's the fifth tool?
You have four tools that are exclusive to you.
Everyone has unique tools.
You're getting mad about this in the wrong way, KB.
Go ahead.
Name your tools then, KB.
Watch when you come up with just four.
I'm in the GeoGuessr community.
Anyone can make up a community.
Right.
But Steven did it first.
And mine is specific to the NFL.
Yeah.
But what was the last tool?
Fantasy football shows.
I mean, I feel like I have all these tools.
I think Ron is pretty close.
Ron's like a four and a half star recruit.
I just need to start making film breakdowns because I did contribute a film breakdown of Yannick Ngakwe last year.
I did have my own film breakdown that I put up edited and voiced
over by me.
That's five of the tools.
That's the whole requisite.
You're not helping
my case.
I know,
but you're trying
to exclude my tools.
No, he is helping
your case because
Ronan is full-time content.
I'm the blueprint.
Dude, I'm the fucking...
I'm not trying to
take away from it though.
So what did they say
when you said
you had the five tools?
I mean,
so what kind of
sucked about it all is that as i was walking into you know i was
walking into a guy who already had his mind made up because i'd given the presentation to dave
before but but uh like i've told you this is a good thing because you now have given it publicly
and now we get the the groundswell for steven shay the people will grow the grassroots movement
yeah hopefully hopefully yeah because yeah i need as many people in my corner as possible for Stephen Shea. The people will revolt. The grassroots movement. Yeah. Hopefully.
Hopefully.
Yeah, because I need as many people
in my corner as possible.
So did my slide go over well?
Yes.
There was a side,
a guest slide,
it just said,
what makes Stephen Shea different?
And just in bold letters
it said Asian.
Very, very small place.
You can list that
as one of your tools.
Yeah.
You should have.
Yeah.
But I think that part went over well?
That went over well.
All right, good.
Good.
But guys like Nick and KB are trying to take away from your five tools.
I know.
I think you should be full-time content.
You didn't mention the yak?
I mean, no.
I think you already are.
This was specific to NFL.
Yeah, he was trying to come down to the second floor for real, for real.
Whose desk do you have your eyes on when you move down here?
Good question.
My desk has a leak over it now.
So it's actually a hazard.
So maybe you should just move down right now.
So you don't get diphtheria.
What happens when you get down here and then you realize that it sucks down here and you want to go back upstairs?
Good question, Sass.
It doesn't, dude.
I operate in the corner of a dark room for 12 hours a day.
But you love your job. That sounds significantly better. I'm talking about being at home.'t, dude. I operate in the corner of a dark room for 12 hours a day. But you love your job.
I do.
That sounds significantly better.
I'm talking about being at home.
Yeah, yeah.
Grinding.
Yeah.
Steven is loyal as it comes.
I actually appreciate Dylan, who actually cuts up this show.
He did a similar thing.
He's actually trying to make the other transition.
He applied through LinkedIn, which was a wild move.
To a barstool position? To a barstool position?
To a barstool position.
While he already works here?
Yes.
That's unprecedented.
I like him.
I was very upset that he...
He's not in the office, is he?
Yeah, he is.
He sits over there.
Liam told me when it was...
He was like,
did you hear Dylan applied for another job?
I was like, this motherfucker,
I like having him around.
He's like, but he applied to a job upstairs oh okay well i've never met him
avoid the in-person yeah conversation yeah dylan in a future first for my rights oh whoa okay
jerry give us your five tools uh like like uh like stevens like stevens yeah and i think my first asset my first
tool to me would be the jersey jerry army back in me okay i do have an actual legit army yeah
militia second second one i'd say um
oh that's fine to be a one i would i would say no.
I wouldn't even say I'm like a wild card.
You know what I mean?
I can do multiple different types of shows.
I can do serious shows.
I can do the Yak.
Not saying it's not a serious show, but I can do the Yak.
I can do Pick Central.
Pro Football Show, I think, was electric.
So I can just make my way into multiple
different things. Adapt
to different types of environments.
You're a Gemini, aren't you?
Toris.
Alright, third?
Three would be
I might only have
two tools.
That's your third tool. So you only have two tools. Okay, that's fine. That's your third tool.
So you only have two.
Yeah, so you're a rough and rowdy fighter.
Yeah, I see it everywhere.
Rough and rowdy fighters for?
That's a big one.
Tattooed.
Tattooed is fine.
And probably the only person in this office with a size 7 1⁄2.
No, there's a lot of women.
KB.
Jerry Thornton is a 7 1⁄2.
Who is? How the fuck do you know that? Jerry Thornton is a 7.5. Who is?
How the fuck do you know that?
Jerry Thornton is not a 7.5.
And why do you know that?
Because he says he's huge.
I had to get a shoe order from him.
That can't be true.
It is.
He followed it away in his mind.
I have the length of a 7.5 with the width of a 10.
Whoa.
So I'm stuck with a 9.
All right, so those are good tools.
I'm a 9 too.
Yeah.
He has an army. A chameleon, only has two tools, tattooed, seven and a half.
Yeah.
Steven, you can't compete with that.
Rough and rowdy.
Oh, you're a six-tool.
Jerry's a superstar.
Yeah.
I have three tools.
Yeah?
God's given tools.
That's it?
Cock, two balls.
Nice.
Yeah.
Nice. That's the way I see two balls. Nice. Yeah. Nice.
That's the way I see it.
Nice, bro.
I love that about you.
I hope you get the job, Steven.
Steve, what is...
I just buddied you.
That's a good...
Yeah, we're friends.
Yeah, you're throwing yourself under the bus.
You're kind of falling on the...
I think, Steven, you need a better army backing you up.
We need to get more... He's a high. Too many Ur better army backing you up. We need to get another Che High.
The Che High.
Too many Urkels on your team.
We need to get a Che High.
That's why your wind's low.
The Che High needs to go into overdrive to get Stephen the dream job.
So what did Dave say?
Was he saying no?
Yeah, he said no.
Well, so here's the...
No, no, no.
Dave said no to Nick originally as well.
True.
Said he wasn't electric.
It's true.
Yeah.
Look at you now.
Dave thinks that Steven is too serious.
He thinks that Steven's applying for a job at ESPN.
But I think Steven's funny for that.
Yeah, there's a place for that.
As long as you have a foil around you.
What about if Steven did something with somebody
who's pitched him something
with somebody that's not as serious
as Stephen? You're saying pair him up with a goofy?
Yeah, pair him up with a goof.
To make it balance out a little bit.
What goofs do we have left, though?
Any free agent goofs?
Any single goof?
No, that's a good question. Who's the goof?
I almost acronymed that one.
That is like your Instinctive move
I know
To make a joke
If it's a three word thing
I'll make an acronym
Every time
TLA
Free agent goof
You almost got me good there
Was that on purpose bro
Yeah he was trying to get me done
God
I would have been
Damn
So Steven
Where do you think
It stands right now Just bad still you think it it stands right now
just bad still you're you think of it negatively i think of it as positive
yeah so so to be clear first off i really do like my current job but i pitched this in
may or june or whatever and dave's. And Eric's answer was the same.
They said I could do it.
They weren't like, you absolutely can't do this.
They said you could do it.
I've been here five years.
They said, you know, we're not going to tell you no.
But there's just a very wide gap between the salary.
Right.
To the point where, I mean, 35, I have two kids, family.
You would be in poverty.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to the point where I mean 35 I have two kids family like you would be in poverty yeah
yeah
yeah
if you made what us
content guys are making
you wouldn't fucking
have it sent to your name
yeah
I can't say for sure
but you know
when we talked figures
it was
it was a cavernous gap
cavernous gap
cavernous gap
that of a cave that hurts to think about or a cavernous gap. Cavernous gap. That of a cave to think about.
Or a cavern.
Huge gap.
I'm not trying to be a wild man. I was realistic
and was open to
degrees if needed, but
it can't be cavernous.
Be like a little gully, maybe.
I might pick up a second job.
Like a Chipotle or something.
Fill that cavernous gap
Yeah
The second floor, a little caulk in that gap
Yeah, yeah
Start getting coffee for the guys upstairs
Alright, Stephen
I heard they tip well up there
I'm rooting for you, Stephen
They're rolling in it up there
Yeah
They're just throwing out Benjamins upstairs
I talked to Dave on my helicopter ride in today
It's like Wolf of Wall Street upstairs.
Steven's like, I'm not leaving.
Speaking of presentations of high magnitude, take it away.
Big dogs.
Oh, yeah.
It went well.
It was a good call. I don't think that they're for sale for sale, but I think we will eventually get them to be for sale.
We could take over from within.
Yeah.
We're going to do something with them.
I think maybe we'll start with some type of exclusive line that the people in this room will come up with, and then we're just going gonna fucking take the whole show down so when do you think like so
obviously it's like if we did a line with big dog yeah it'll probably do really well right so do you
think then they'll be like well i think it's a slow process they're not for sale right now because
i think they just got like there was i couldn't really follow is something about like they got
bought by someone like a year and a half ago and and they're trying to rebrand. So the timing was not the best timing, but I think we'll get it eventually.
Do you think there's a Pepsi-Coke rivalry with Big Dog and Clifford the Big Red Dog?
No, I think it's the Big Dog and Life is Good.
Life is Good, Jake.
Jake.
I hate that fucker.
Which I want to do.
I actually want to do like a – when were we talking about this?
Doing an Avengers shirt?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, Rowan and I were talking about it in Indiana, doing an Avengers shirt of all life
is good, big dogs, no fear, and one guy.
All the shirts together on one shirt simultaneously.
Yeah, that's awesome.
I was sick with that.
That would be amazing.
Yeah.
Like when you have the NBA jackets with every logo on them at all times, just have everybody
like kind of huddling around to saying, a good ass fucking phrase.
You just have to get the right phrase.
Maybe it's gone.
He looks like the fucking, the life is good guy.
What the hell?
But it was crazy talking to the big dogs.
How, how many were there?
Two.
Two big dogs.
Yeah.
There was, yeah.
Are they big men?
The big dog is a big man.
What'd their voice sound like? Like big enough to bowl a 300 or? Yeah, Are they big men? The big dog is a big man. How big?
Like big enough to bowl a 300?
Yeah, big enough to bowl a 300.
He also just had like a – he was calling in from California.
He had a – I don't know.
You could just tell.
Like I think there was probably a surfboard off the screen.
Did they take you seriously?
Yes.
Are they experiencing an uptick because of your publicity?
Probably, which they probably don't fully realize yet.
They don't understand.
They probably were like, wow, people are talking about Big Ducks.
Erica was on the call with me.
Okay.
So it was very official.
Was it Rick Scott?
No, don't talk to him.
How do you know those names, brother?
Google, the founder.
No, it wasn't the founder.
Oh, you don't even know the names.
Oh, he does. He does. He does.
Don't take our leverage away.
Steve and Dog.
Steve and Dog.
Do they have to identify as a certain breed?
No, they did talk.
We did talk about different breeds.
When we take over, we will.
Yeah, we'll do all the breeds.
The biggest ones. Yeah. Mostly. We'll do all the breeds. What were their favorite dogs? The biggest ones.
Yeah.
Mostly.
They only like big-ass dogs.
Yeah.
It was good, though.
It was a good meeting.
I feel very bullish.
It's not going to be as clean-cut as like, hey, here's a check, but we'll get there.
We'll get there.
The employees are going to see a giant uptick in sales with the line we do.
They may stage a coup.
Mm. A walk stage a coup.
A walkout?
Data.
It was very funny talking to them, though, because they were like, we have an archive of, like, historical drawings from the big dog artists.
And it's like, so, like, what does that look like?
Like, just other big dogs? Yeah.
So they got something.
They got a headquarters.
I think it was. I think it was the big dog's house.
They have the fucking-
They have the artist chained up in the basement just drawing dogs.
They have one retail store left, which is hilarious, in Tennessee.
We got to go.
Oh my God.
They have a retail store?
Yes, they used to have retail stores everywhere.
They used to have like 200 retail stores.
Is it like in a mall or something, or is it just one building?
I don't know.
That would be dope.
Can we go?
We got to go.
Yeah, we should.
Can we do a live show from there?
I don't know.
Let's find it.
I wonder what city he's in.
That would be awesome.
I did not know they even had any retail stores.
What city would he be in?
Murfreesboro?
Yeah.
Oh, Cowie.
So Tico just walked by.
Completely different.
Yeah.
Looks like a completely different person.
Big Dog Sportswear
in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
I want to go there so bad.
What the fuck is Pigeon Forge here?
It looks so sick.
Kingsport?
Holy shit.
It looks awesome.
That's exactly what I imagined it to look like.
Wait, go to the...
Are those slim parking spots?
Are those only motorcycle parking spots?
Google it.
Google it.
Yeah, look at this guy.
Look at this.
Click that picture.
Just a big dog looking at some big...
Look at that.
I fucking love it.
Those are motorcycle parking spots.
That's a big dog.
Yeah, that is.
It's only for motorcycle.
Oh, my God.
Huge.
Why is it huge?
This is big dogs.
Because if you don't make a small, big dog...
That's no such thing.
This guy posted.
What is that?
That was pretty good.
That was pretty good.
That was pretty good.
He knew we'd want this context.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe we go there.
Maybe we go there and buy the whole store.
Maybe that's the thing.
Yeah.
Could you open up a location?
Yeah.
Become managers at big dogs.
Open a branch of it.
You could definitely open up a branch.
Why not?
Like the McDonald's dudes?
Yeah.
You know what they did?
Ray Kroc?
Yeah.
Save big, sale teeth, buy two, get one.
You can open up a two-gallon one.
You can get like $10,000.
Wow.
Put one in Times Square.
Damn.
Yeah, why don't we open up a Big Dogs out of Brooklyn?
Or just downstairs.
Yeah.
Or in here.
Save us on rent.
Yeah, and we're the only customers.
We can sell it to ourselves.
Mark up and sell it to ourselves
and then use the money we make to buy more.
I don't know how does that business fail.
It doesn't.
It's like an upside down pyramid scheme.
We buy shirts for $10.
We sell them for $15 to ourselves. And then we take the money and we buy more shirts for ten dollars
that's infinite money that's infinite money or big dog shirts how far is the drive 11 hours let's do
a road trip let's leave after the big dog road trip holy shit send send compton over damn it
what's what's Compton doing?
That's brutal.
What's that big wall of China?
What's going on in there?
What is that big silver line?
Is that the flight route? I think it's if we fly, yeah.
Oh, as the crow flies, as they say?
Yeah, yes.
Got it.
Oh, I've never seen that.
That's cool.
As the crow flies.
It's only a two-hour flight.
Let's leave after the yak.
We'll be back.
We could go. Back by tomorrow's, yeah. We'll be back. We could go.
Back by tomorrow's, yeah.
We'll be back by 8 o'clock.
You want to call the store?
Back for dinner?
Yeah, let's call the store.
It's called Big Dogs.
Let's buy out everything.
We're going to buy.
Yeah, just say, can you put that on hold?
And when they say what, say everything.
The entire store.
We want it all.
Or let's ask for a specific one.
Sign Fetch. Yeah, specific one. Sign Fetch.
Yeah, do you have Sign Fetch?
It has Posmo Kramer.
Yeah, let's call him.
Nick, you talk to him.
Oh, jeez.
You got this.
All right.
You a big dog, Jerry?
Yeah, I'm a big dog.
I'm a big little dog.
You're being so humble today, Jerry.
You are.
It's my mental, I think.
What about it?
I'm a month out, a month and a half away from my fight
So you're super focused
Oh, are you starting to get into war mode?
Yeah, I'm starting to
I know what that's like
I'm starting to just have voices
What are they saying?
Just good stuff for me, building up my confidence
Good
Do me a favor and anytime you hear a voice for the rest of this hour
Just say it out loud
Alright
Is there a multiple in there this hour, just say it out loud. All right. Okay.
Is there a multiple in there?
No, just one little voice.
All right.
What did you just say?
What was the last thing you said?
Sounds like a little dog.
He just said that, like, you know, the guy on face and he's scared.
Oh.
He's scared.
That's happening right now.
Wow.
I love it.
Is that TJ?
Is that TJ in your ear?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you hear, if the little voice says anything for the next hour, interrupt.
All right, I will.
Okay?
It's crazy how the mind works, though.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
No, that wasn't a voice.
We need a different...
You need to have a different...
Do like a hot sit.
Or just raise your hand.
We need a puppet.
Raise your hand if it's a voice.
Sock puppet.
Or maybe low.
It speaks really in a low tone. See if you can do like a... You tell me down here. Give it a puppet. Raise your hand if it's a voice. Sock puppet. Or maybe low. It speaks really in a low tone.
See if you can do like a...
You tell me down beaming?
Give it a shot.
Give it a low...
What do you mean low?
Like over here.
She tried to outfly me today.
Not quite.
Not quite.
Not quite achieved.
Looks like KB's winning this break.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Oh, you guys broke up?
You guys have to go on your lunch date.
That'll be awkward.
Oh, we're supposed to just do it there?
Oh, look at that. That reflection. Oh, supposed to just do it there. Look at that reflection.
Oh, my God.
It's artistic.
This is creepy.
Yo, this is super artistic.
You are one.
Kiss her.
Kiss her.
Wait, can you align your profile to hers?
I don't think you can.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, look right at her.
Kiss her.
Kiss her.
Kiss her.
Kiss her.
I can't see her. Yeah, look down. Look down. Yeah, go right at her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. I can't see her.
Yeah, look down.
Look down.
Yeah, go.
Come on.
Come on.
Right on the feet.
Oh, no.
16 chapels.
Oh, no.
Get her.
Kiss her.
You got to go lower.
Go lower?
Lower, lower, lower, lower.
This way, this way, this way.
Down here, down here.
Oh, yeah.
Cut it out. Cut it out.
Cut it out.
Fucking plane.
Kiss him.
Kiss him.
Kiss him.
Got a good laugh out of him.
Blue eyes.
I'm going to kiss him.
I think that's Sinatra's son.
It might be.
Kiss him.
I don't know if we'll be able to see you over there.
Big Cat doesn't understand reflections.
Oh.
He's a fucking freak. He's a freak in the sheets.
He's a freak in the sheets.
He's a freak.
God damn.
Oh, fuck.
That was good.
You think he goes both ways?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think he goes both ways.
Is that the voice?
No, the voice is lower, right?
It's a lot lower.
Like a demon?
You think he goes both ways?
Yeah, something like that.
What the fuck?
George and Jerry are beasts.
It is crazy how the mind works, though, Jerry.
You are right about that.
It is.
It is crazy.
Jerry, you're a fucking beast.
It is. I'm intrigued by the mind. I'd say like a couple months mind works, though, Jerry. You are right about that. It is. It is crazy. You're a fucking beast. It is.
I'm intrigued by the mind.
I'd say a couple months ago, maybe a month ago, maybe a month, I was taking it serious,
but I didn't have any super drive to go forward and really inflict pain.
But now I'm starting to really just not like them.
Nice.
The gravity of the situation is setting in.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
December 10th.
So you have an urge to inflict pain.
Yeah.
My best wrestling matches were with guys that I would consider like a friend.
The guys that I kind of knew.
That's when I performed my best.
It's literally a hugging competition
yeah it's easier to hug your friends
so duh
you're going to say that to the wrong person one day
I exclusively only say it to you
one day
and he's going to be the wrong person one day
it's mad heads that are hearing you say this
in the wrestling community
and I am part of it
you're going to run into them one day It's mad heads that are hearing you say this in the wrestling community. And I am part of it. It's mad.
You're going to run into them one day.
One of my five tools is being part of the wrestling community.
That is true.
I am.
Is Nationals in Atlantic City?
What are your other five?
No, definitely not.
The New Jersey State Tournament is.
I thought they were doing something back in Atlantic City.
It wouldn't be Nationals.
Regionals?
Districts?
They don't have that.
Maybe a conference tournament.
When's the next?
They were in Pittsburgh two years ago.
All right, so one is being part of the wrestling community.
Two is being a big dog.
Three is being a big cat.
Four is being a terrible gambler.
Five is coffee.
Coffee.
Coffee.
There you go.
Oh, there it is.
That's it.
You summed me up.
What's the Andy Sandberg movie?
Was it Hot Rod?
Is that him?
Yes.
Yeah.
Where he has like the power of the animals?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like you, big cat.
I got both dogs and cats. Power of cat. Yeah. Yeah, that's like you, Big Cat. I got both dogs and cats.
Power of cat.
Yeah.
Meow.
Whoa.
That's good.
That's a small cat, though.
I have a voice in my head just constantly meowing.
That's kind of nice.
What about Big Cat?
You got to change your name to Small Cat after that meow.
What if you made Big Cat like Big Dog and kind of showed them a leverage against...
They don't know
what you're adding
to the brand right now.
So he started making
a big cat line,
got all the business
over towards you,
exact same line
but it's cats
and then you kind of
can take it away.
It's like a big leverage,
a big chip,
big leverage.
There's a big cat
that we,
it just says like,
I like to lick pussy.
Yeah.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah,
and he's like fucking shredded
A cat with pecs
A cat with pecs
Is just you want what you eat
Yeah
And I eat pussy
Yeah
My own
Yeah my own
And he's just like
Slurping up the tail
Of a fucking cat
That would be awesome
A cat in like a full circle
A donut
Just eating its own pussy
Yeah
Yeah
I can see it now
And it's hot
Yeah
A hot jacked cat.
I like that.
He's, oh, he's sexy.
Yeah, he's a bulge.
Yeah.
Scared cat.
Yeah, you can see that.
He's a pussy bulge.
Pussy bulge.
Oh, no.
No.
Fucking shit, man.
How do you get songs
stuck in your head?
That's what I've been wondering about.
How does that happen?
When you just have a song that's just singing in your head in the background,
you kind of pay attention to it.
It's like, damn, that song's just been playing.
Island boys.
Do you ever try and get a song stuck in your head?
No.
No?
Why would you do that?
Sometimes I'll try to get a song stuck in my head to get a different song out of my head.
TJ, stop objectifying.
Horny bad.
Oh, kill him.
Kill him, KB.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
What do you mean?
Oh.
Oh, you missed him.
No, he missed him.
He wasn't having it.
TJ on the fucking rotating camera.
He's quick with it.
My boy looks like he's sniping people.
My boy's been playing Valorant.
You playing Valorant, Teach?
Not my game.
Are people scared of us?
Faith said that yesterday, and it made me think.
Are people scared to walk by?
They think that we're about to pull clown mode on them.
That's not the case at all.
We just clown everyone?
We clown ourselves more than anything.
I don't think we do much clowning.
Joke about everyone, okay? We used to clown more. We used to do a lot of pranks. We used to be than anything. People just need to know that. We do much clowning. Joke about everyone, okay?
We used to clown more.
We used to do a lot of pranks.
We used to be prank show.
Yeah.
Trigger Happy TV.
That was season three.
Then fucking cancel culture came around.
Fucking ruined everything.
Tried to protest.
It's Austin Chappelle against the world.
Imagine if they did a Barstool Sports protest against the Yak.
Walking out.
They're calling people free agent goofs.
The third floor walked out on us.
It went home to their McMansions.
Yeah.
Millions.
Michael Greer makes $350,000 a year.
What?
Damn.
I don't think you're joking.
No.
That's the thing too Which probably
Probably does
That guy knows the deep web though
Oh yeah he does
That's why he's in
I don't fuck with him
He's probably mining for
Bitcoin for his
Freaking salary
Who's this behind me
Flavor Flav
Who is this
Who is this
Jerry
Jerry who is this
I thought it was Flavor Flav
Yeah
Flavor Flav
Salute, boys.
Good to see you.
What up, boys?
How we doing?
What's the deal with the one who didn't return the wave?
Yeah, what's the guy?
No, he did.
Well, there was one purse collector.
One guy had to carry the purse.
Yeah, he carries his purse.
What do you think's in there?
His boy's purses.
He's the lowest-hanging employee.
He just has a gag of purses in his purse.
Look to him.
He's saying, a purse is my purse bag.
Jerry.
Jerry.
Oh, yeah.
Jerry.
That was the voice.
Jerry?
Yeah.
That was it.
And the guy who just says your name?
The voice that says Jerry
You'll hear it throughout the office daily
Really?
No way
That goes through the walls
Did you ever see the school shooters interrogation?
Jesus Christ
What a transition
It was an incredible video
The Parkland kid one?
It's probably one of my favorite videos on YouTube
Who blamed it on weed?
They just showed the difference between someone who is truly crazy
And someone who's not.
He was pretending to be crazy, and that's when you say things like, the demons are in my head.
And what does a real crazy person do?
Because I'm trying to act like they're a...
They talk nonchalantly and super casually about their murders as if it was...
Yeah, because real crazy people don't think they're crazy.
Yeah, that one.
That's the thing.
I heard something that was like, if you ever think you're crazy, it means you're not crazy. Because crazy people don't think they're crazy. Yeah, that one. That's like the thing. I heard something that was like, if you ever think you're crazy,
it means you're not crazy.
Because most people don't think they're crazy.
Do you think you're crazy?
I agree with that.
No, I've had times where I did.
So you're not.
So you're frauding.
Maybe get back to me tonight at midnight.
So you're stealing valor.
Yeah.
Existential crisis.
Yeah.
I think everyone's a little crazy.
No, I'm twisted.
Little bro.
You're sick and twisted.
We're all a little bit crazy.
Damn.
I'm completely normal.
That kid just got the death penalty, didn't he?
Yeah.
The fake crazy guy for fake crazy?
Yeah, fake crazy.
That's what got it.
If he had just been honest about his crazy level,
it's like when a teacher's like,
just come forward, whoever did it,
we'll give you a lesser sentence if you just let us know who you were.
If he was just like, yeah, I'm not really crazy, I'm just a murderer, they would have
been like, all right, fine.
You're free to go.
Yeah, yeah.
Walk right out the door.
House arrest, seven months.
That's all you had to say, son.
See, was that so hard?
Oh, my God.
All right, so what else we got going on?
What else we got going on, boys?
But that dude did blame it on weed.
Yeah.
Yeah, was that recent?
Weed and Percocet, I think.
It was like he had like a statement to the court, and he was like,
if only like the world stopped with the marijuana.
Bro, you're not about to fucking blame it on weed, bro.
Don't ruin the party for the rest of us.
Try to get fucking blazed.
Maybe I should start distancing myself from your crazy ass.
Your crazy stoner ass.
I was always stoned.
Oh, man.
I'm about to shoot the fucking club up, bro.
Don't say that.
Jesus.
I meant to come inside of a...
That's a spray.
Let's get security in here.
I'm just coming inside.
Here's what I meant. Here's what I
meant.
That's what I
meant to say.
Remember fucker
right in the pussy.
That was a fun.
I got fucker
right in the pussy
when we were in
Penn State.
No way.
People are still
doing it.
That's actually
in the stomach
and it hurt.
He I handled
like a man.
I was I was in
pain.
Why did he hit
you?
He was hammered
and he came up
and gave me a
gave me a pat
on the chest or the stomach and it was like I think it's way doubled you over. Yeah. He hit you? I was in pain. Why did he hit you? He was hammered and he came up and gave me a pat on the chest or the stomach
and it was like, I think it was way stronger than the bar.
It doubled you over. And he said fuck her right in the pussy?
Yeah. What a legend.
Can we pull up who blogged at Barstool
about the fuck her right in the pussy guy?
Which guy? Dan, it might have been you.
It probably was. Jameis Winston? Jameis Winston.
That was awesome.
Standing up on the desk.
Like months after it was like
Yeah
A funny wave
And also right after he had like
Fucked up
Yeah
What do you do?
Jameis
The best is the clip of Jameis
Oh
KFC
The best is
Can you get the clip
Can you get the picture of Jameis
Showing up with his
Full pads on
When he was suspended
He was suspended from
Florida State
for playing and they were like,
Jameis, suspended means you can't play.
And he just showed up with full pads on.
Like didn't understand
what was going on.
I love Jameis.
Great facial expressions.
Huge win.
Legend.
But he's still crab legs, right?
Yeah, crab legs.
Crab legs, probably.
Owen, you're on a heater today.
One word, coffee.
Perfect.
One for one.
One for one on laughs.
But your print is looking pretty above half today on cam.
I've been checking your prints.
Oh, hey.
My man is poking.
Is that a nook or a cranny?
That's a cranny.
That could be a nook.
Cranny.
The arms.
The arms.
He can see it from the back.
From the bike.
My boy's cranny is so big you can see it from the back. From the bike. My boy's cranny is so big you can see it from the bike.
I love our security guards.
Anthony and Mike, they travel with us.
Yeah, that's awesome how they are on the road now.
Just shoving people when they get too close.
But they don't give us action.
I know.
They're hungry for action.
They got one piece of action in Colorado.
It was awesome. What do you mean? They got one piece of action in Colorado. It was awesome.
So what do you mean?
So like they come with us.
They're great because there are like sometimes very big crowds and they just help, you know, manage like in and outs.
But they don't really because we're not like celebrities.
So, you know, we'll take pictures and talk to anyone.
So they don't really have anything to do in terms of like like if leo's
walking down the street with security guard and someone goes up to leo the security guard
has permission to like shove them but in colorado these two dudes who were hammered
in broncos jerseys like ran across the stage into our like uh like little vip area and and anthony
looked at me like do you know these guys i? I was like, no. And they just came
and they fucking grabbed them.
They were probably waiting for that.
They were so excited.
They're like small town,
they're like a rich small town cops
who find kids underage drinking
or something like that.
Just like beat up a 17 year old
or some shit.
That's the vibe they give.
What would you do
if he just pulled out a gun
and just like execution styled
both of them?
What would you do
in that situation?
What would you do?
I would hide the gun.
Yeah, put a bed in on the
second half.
You're going to die
for your guys.
I'd fucking take that gun
and I'd put it in my
garage.
Yeah, throw out the gun,
take apart the gun
and scatter it to the
ends of the earth
so there's no evidence.
File off the serial number.
Fine.
That's a stupid question.
Throw it off a branch
into a river.
What would you do call the cops
you love the cops
we'll see
bro
that's one of your tools
that's not true
that's one of your five tools
your leftist AC
ACabass
loves the cops
abolish LAPD
that's the best
that's the funniest video
what video
video
or like screenshot a loud ass sit bro quiet the fuck down that was a wet sit That's the funniest video. What video? Video?
A loud ass sit, bro.
That was a wet sit. That was a wet sit.
He was like my leftist ACAB ass
when calling the cops
when I see a crackhead on the street.
Pull that up, Teej.
Because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
It's like a really old TikTok.
It's just like the cringy.
I don't love this flavor, though.
Boy, you love this shit more than fucking much, though.
That's why you have to slurp it.
Drowns out the taste.
Thanksgiving is trash now because grandma's be 35.
Not enough pain in that mac and cheese.
Is there an ad read?
Is there an ad read?
Why are we pulling this out?
I mean, this is strong.
I tweet like a thousand times a day.
We don't need to ridicule my...
No one's ridiculed.
Jesus Christ, you defensive bastard.
The fuck are you pulling
that up? I tweet a thousand times a day.
That's what you fucking pick?
That was the worst. That must have been my worst
leftist ACAB ass tweet.
Tweeted it like a hundred times.
Do you have a hundred leftists? I tweeted one
yesterday. That's a better one.
That one is better.
Do you think you have a hundred of them?
Oh no,
but I probably have like 50.
You should put out
an entire book.
That would be funny.
Or like one of those collages
where like everyone
is a different shade
and you like zoom out
and it makes someone's face
or something like that.
Make it AOC's face or something like that.
Are we still going to do Frank's album?
Yes.
Yes.
Photo album?
No, it's joke album.
Prank or joke album?
Prank album.
Prank album.
Fuck, we got to do that again.
Track one is just like, yo, down low.
Next track is too slow
Have you ever listened to like a comedy special
Like
Like listened to it like on Spotify
Or something like that
Yeah
I mean
Or like an album I guess
Yeah
Yeah
Cause like
There was a long period of time
Where that's all you could do
Yeah
Well I obviously
That was never a thing for me
But I do listen to them occasionally
The uh
Crank Yankers The Crank Yankers
No, Crank Yankers?
No
What the fuck were they named?
What were the guys who did the phone calls?
Not the Crank Yankers
Jerky Boys
Jerky Boys
Jerky Boys were so
Jerky Boys were very
Was it Jim Brewer?
They were doing Asian accents
Yeah, they were doing the Asian accents
It was good
It was
Fuck
I forget
Jerky Boys were
Howard had
some good ones. Sal and Richard.
Sour Shoes.
Goddamn.
Jerky Boys were great. Adam Sandler's.
You should do that. You should put one out.
I'm feeling some tenderness in my right rib
right here.
Uh-oh.
What do you think that is?
Gas? Right here? I get gas in you think that is? Hospital. Gas? Gas? Right here?
I get gas in my chest area all the time.
That's not gas.
It is.
Right here.
And then I have also a pain in my armpit.
Swollen glands, maybe?
Oh, I don't know what that would be.
There's a sickness going around the office right now, unfortunately.
What is it?
I don't know.
Brendan's sick.
Dave seems like he's sick.
Hank said he's not feeling well.
So, yeah, we're all fucked. COVID. No, like he's sick. Hank said he's not feeling well. We're all fucked.
No, don't say that.
Maybe.
It was the voice. It's not you.
It was him.
You don't want that.
I don't want it. I'm just saying.
I've seen Dave blow his nose.
Oh, shit.
How many times? Three today.
What?
Three today?
Do you think you caught them all?
I watched them all, yeah.
Yeah, right.
But I'm saying, what if there was some when you weren't looking?
It could have been more.
Yeah, right.
Extrapolating.
I think he's carrying the napkin in his pocket.
Oh, which side?
I don't know.
Okay.
You should start writing a journal every day of Dave's actions and then post it on the blog.
That's a good idea.
I think they canceled me.
What?
From the blog.
Why?
I don't know.
How many times have you been canceled?
Like here?
No, just in general.
Once by Kendrick Perkins.
Yeah.
What did Big Perk say? He ain't a fan. I ain't a fan of his either Perkins. Yeah. What did Big Perk say?
He ain't a fan.
I ain't a fan of his either, though.
Okay.
He was just saying some sideways shit, wasn't he?
Perk?
Oh, he always is.
He always gets something on Twitter.
Yeah, he gets cut off on ESPN all the time, too.
And then I think once here, all my stuff is just pending, pending, so I just stopped.
They just never put it through.
Who do you think it is, Hubs?
I don't know.
I really don't know who was in charge of it.
Hubs Good, though?
What was the last blog that you have pending right now?
Just thanking Jersey Jerry fans.
Yeah, it's too controversial for the site.
That sounds like someone higher up is fighting against the army.
It does.
It does sound like that, actually.
Interesting.
Someone's leftist ACAB ass.
Yeah.
They're trying to suppress the militia.
Yep.
Wow.
Maybe it was Brendan.
The one guy said he was going to talk to his boss to push it through.
I forget his name.
Was it Brian?
Yeah.
He sits by me.
Behind me, he sits.
Hubs? I don't know. What's by me. Behind me, he sits. Hubs?
I don't know.
What's he look like?
Oh, Eric.
He has like a beard.
Mm-hmm.
Hair?
Does he have hair?
He's definitely Nate.
Are they both Eric?
Hubs?
Yeah, Eric and Eric.
He sits next to...
Probably an Eric.
Is he bald?
I think he is bald.
It's Nate.
Nate?
Okay. Mm-hmm. He's Nate. Nate? Okay.
He's your boss.
Okay.
Just so you know.
Well, I don't know.
No.
I'm telling you.
He's my boss.
Correct.
He's a nice guy.
Yeah, yeah.
He's borderline Dave's boss.
He's number two at the company.
It depends on how you see the pecking order.
There's checks and balances that make them equal.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
It's like the legislative see the pecking order. There's checks and balances that make them equal. Mm-hmm. Exactly. It's like the legislative...
Be careful.
Executive.
I think he likes me.
Mm-hmm.
Said he liked me.
So, yeah.
Probably does.
Yeah, but none of my stuff gets pushed through.
What else?
What else got stopped?
Yeah, what else is waiting?
Deontay Wilder.
That didn't get pushed through.
What does that say?
No, just talking about after the fight how he didn't respect Tyson Fury.
He's a crumbum.
Just waste.
Yeah.
And then the other thing was the whole Matt James, Tyler Cameron, and me.
I just wanted to when the Bachelor Nation canceled me.
Oh, you didn't list that on your cancellations?
What happened there?
So I went on a golf outing with Tyler Cameron and Matt James, and I was the caddy.
And pretty much I said something about one of the contestants.
And then, like, don't know yeah pretty much
body shaming oh yeah i mean i i made a response video for so people just in behind the scenes
just around them this was on an instagram live so somebody must have like screen recorded it i
guess and then sent it in to tmz and then the e-news and the cosmopolitan and so you were really
canceled oh yeah they came after me bachelor they go they they're they're big they go after Sent it in to TMZ and then the E! News and the Cosmopolitan and stuff. So you were really canceled?
Oh, yeah.
They came after me, Bachelor.
They go.
They're big.
They go after people. Was it Trent?
Did Trent do it?
I don't know.
He's definitely heard about it, though.
Ooh.
So where do you stand right now with the Bachelor fans?
Oh, they're dead to me.
Okay.
All right.
Good.
Good.
They're dead to me.
Good.
Fuck them.
Yeah.
Would you watch, though, just for the enjoyment of the show?
As long as that contestant's off the show.
She's gone.
Don't have to see that.
Love Island.
I don't want to get in trouble.
I can't say anything.
She just after the show she got a lot of plastic surgery.
Good thing you didn't say it.
I know.
You think you made her do it?
Wait, that was after your remark or that's what your remark was about?
No, my remark wasn't even nothing out of disrespect.
It was just I was asking Matt a question, and I said, hey, look.
Is she really that ugly in person?
Is that what you said?
No, I just said, hey, how's her body?
Because on TV, it doesn't look that great.
Okay, yeah, I can see how that would be body and then and then she she went on um instagram
afterwards and then she she posted um a guy uh eating a bucket of chicken on the couch
and then that's you yeah and then that's when i made the response video was it the dodgeball guy
no it wasn't it was some other guy that was good close guy it was a fat guy did it look like you
no i buried her though okay there's no coming back Did it look like you? No I buried her though
Okay
There's no coming back from it
What'd you say to bury her?
I made like a three minute response video
Three minutes?
Yeah
A lot to say
That doesn't even fit on Twitter
Yeah
Instagram
You're about to click through
Instagram
On YouTube
What was the nature of it though?
I love a good burial
It was just like you know Telling my side of the story and like, you know, don't ever come at a lot of people, my fans.
They call me the Don.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
And then, you know, I started exposing some of her feet pictures and stuff.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, Jerry.
Oh, Jerry.
Fighting fire with fire there.
The comments were funny.
They were crazy.
Do you prioritize feet?
how did you expose her feet pictures?
I got feet pictures
from somewhere of her
confidential?
you revenge porned her feet?
damn Jerry
you are the dawn
you should have been canceled
thank god I'm in the army
is everyone else in the Army here?
Yes.
Yes.
My tootsie's floating around online.
Anyone want to vote again?
All in favor of
kicking Brandon off
for Jerry?
Yes.
Oh, wow.
Loyalty.
That's the whole
revenge porn.
Yeah, but he's going to
revenge porn our feet. Brother, I'm fine with my feet being out there. Yeah, but he's going to revenge porn our feet.
Brother, I'm fine with my feet being out there.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Let's see them.
See?
You ain't fine with the other time.
Who left his ACAB ass.
Mm-hmm.
Fuck, man.
Should we call big dogs?
Oh, yeah.
We're going to call big dogs?
This hour feels longer than others.
Some days we got it.
Some days we don't.
I think we still got it.
I think we still got it.
I think we lost it.
I think we're just waiting for it.
We're picking our spots.
It's like a hitter.
Yeah, we're a fighter.
We're pointing them to death today instead of the knockout.
Yeah, we're not going for the knockout.
We're keeping our distance.
We're like Floyd, baby. We're like Floyd, baby.
We're like Floyd, baby.
Jerry, should we let the voice in your head play Family Feud?
Oh.
Now that's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
Somebody told us
that as long as we play
Family Feud, he will downvote the video.
And that was a threat.
Not a warning.
I've seen a lot of those.
Somebody said that.
One guy.
Somebody said that?
We can't risk that.
Yeah, let's make sure that we do our entire show off of one guy's preference.
Got it.
What's his name?
We'll do a show for him.
Let's figure it out.
I would do a live yak for one person. An audience of one. That'd be very funny. Let's do it out I would do a yak for I would do a live yak For one person
I would too
An audience of one
That'd be very funny
Let's do like 15 minute yaks
And like you go in a line
And one person at a time
It's a personalized yak
But it's like
The tickets are $10,000
Yeah
Bobby Fisher playing chess
Kirk Schneider
Walking down
Kirk Schneider
Oh Kirk
Well
Wait I know a dude named Kirk
Is it Kirk or Kirk He was nice about it He said please don't do Any more Family Feud It's so played out Walking down. Kirk Schneider. Oh, Kirk. Well. Wait, I know a dude named Kirk.
Is it Kirk?
He was nice about it. He said, please don't do any more Family Feud.
It's so played out and boring.
It's an instant downvote any time I see it on an episode.
Okay, so bring it on.
You downvote any video on YouTube.
You're a fucking jerk.
You're just a loser.
Yeah.
I've never downvoted any video.
Unless it's like one of the five.
Sharky Duck.
We downvoted Sharky Duck.
That was tough.
Well, because we got duped.
We got duped. The only video I've downvoted is when it's like one of those ones where it's like one of the... Sharky Duck. We downloaded Sharky Duck. That was tough. Well, because we got duped. We got duped.
The only video I've downloaded is like when it's like one of those ones where it's like
everyone's downvoting it.
It'll have like half a million downvotes.
And it's funny.
You got to join in.
Yeah.
Like the YouTube rewind.
There was a...
In the comments section, there was like a great revolt.
And I think it was maybe 2015, 2016, where everyone just downvoted everything.
It was very
funny it made me laugh all like very very hard just like very regular comments down like 400
downloads it was just a very funny thing when the internet like gang gangs up for a very trivial
stupid reason yeah they made the YouTube Rewind.
It's like the most downvoted video of all time.
Yeah.
What is it?
The YouTube Rewind.
What is that?
It's like a year.
They do it every year.
It's like a year on YouTube.
And it's just all like the celebrities and stuff?
Yeah.
And one year, I forget what year it was,
but it's the most downvoted video ever.
I think Baby by Justin Bieber is like number two.
What?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I was going to take a sip.
I thought you were going to
spill it for some reason.
Dude, look at my fucking microphone.
Oh, there we go.
Fuck.
YouTube Rewind.
Will Smith, my favorite YouTuber.
How do you not hop in on that?
19 million downvotes?
That's great.
That's some great shit right there.
Smith is looking fat.
Jesus.
I think people were pissed because Will Smith was in it and he's not a YouTuber.
I could see that.
Yeah.
And he cheats on his wife.
Yeah, that pisses me off.
He does?
They have an open relationship.
Oh, that's not cheating.
Yeah, they like hate each other, don't they?
Yeah.
Are they still together?
For the power, for the clout.
It's complicated, our relationship.
Seen some crazy interviews with them.
They're just spit roasting August Alsina.
Yeah.
What?
Oh, yeah.
His wife cheated on him
with August Alsina.
Yeah, yeah.
And had him do
a red table sit down
or something like that.
That video's nuts.
Here's why I cheated
on your leftist ACAB ass.
Yeah.
That video's crazy.
Dude, look at my
fucking microphone.
It just leaves me.
Uh-oh.
You gotta lock it in with this thing.
Twist this.
You got to lock it.
I just was twisting it for 45 minutes, dude.
Pete!
I didn't see you twist it.
This is broken.
Come here.
This needs fixed.
Come in here.
Look at this.
Look at this.
It's broken.
This is every day for me.
This is every day for me.
Shit is broken in here.
Fix this, please.
Please.
It's every day.
We need some WD-40.
Or what's the opposite? Some tape? I can actually fix that. I know why It's every day. We need some WD-40 or what's the opposite?
Tape?
I can actually fix that.
I know why it's doing that.
Pete, Rone, and I walked back from the bar on Thursday.
It was very awkward.
I thought he was going to try to fuck us.
Rone drove.
Where did you drive from with Pete? Didn't you go on like a five hour road trip with Pete?
Far too long of a road trip.
Yeah, we drove.
It was like six hours or something like that.
We drove from Jackson, Mississippi to Atlanta in a tornado.
We walked five minutes and it was too much.
What happened with the windshield wipers on that trip?
They were on because it was a tornado.
And he was like, you're going to need to turn those off.
The sound is driving me crazy.
I love it.
So we just drove with Driving rain
On the windshield
Dude driving in the rain
Is hard as fuck
Yeah
Do you guys like
I'm like basically
I may as well be blind
I'll be the first to admit that
I think it's pretty easy
I've always struggled
With just driving at
Makes it harder to see
Out the window
Just close your eyes and go
That's like
That's like how it feels
Yeah
I've had times where I'm driving
And I'm like
I straight up could be In the other lane right now.
I didn't do shit.
You made it significantly worse.
Look at this shit.
I haven't driven a car in like a year.
Yeah, you think you're out of practice?
Actually, no.
I drove one when we were in Kennesaw State.
Is it legal?
Why is that illegal?
Was it a rental car?
Yeah.
You're not 25.
You don't need to be 25 to drive one. You need to be 25 to rent one.
No, you need to be 25. You need to be registered
on the rental. And in some states, you only need to be 21.
On the rental, you have to be registered.
Well, I drove it. Why is that a
law? 25. Doesn't make any sense.
None. So you have
to have nine years where you have your license?
Every year, I get worse at driving.
Yeah. And what's with the
18 to get busy, 21 to get dizzy laws out here?
What's 18 to get busy?
Go to war?
At the club, when you go to the club and you're like, you can go into the club but you can't drink.
Or when it's like women can be 18, men can be 21.
What's up with that?
Is that the guy, Jerry?
Is that the guy?
Yes.
The guy?
Yes.
Okay, that's the guy.
Wow, he's your boss.
Be careful.
You should be able to get into a bar when you're 18.
In Wisconsin, you can go to a bar with your parents.
When you're like 13, right?
Yeah, no, any age.
If you're with your parents, you can drink.
Eat the Dorito.
Eat the Dorito, Nate.
It's a great law.
Munch, munch, Nate.
Munch, munch, Nate.
Munch it up, Nate.
You never know when it's your last.
Jerry.
The two-eyed wink.
You like watching me? You like watching me? Yeah. I like watching me.'s your last. Jerry. The two-eyed wink. You like watching him eat?
You like watching him eat?
Yeah.
I like watching him eat.
There he goes.
Maybe write a blog about him eating.
I should.
Yes.
That definitely not going to pass through.
Maybe it will.
Publish a blog, Nate Eats Chip.
Yeah.
Just that video clip.
We'll get you that clip.
Give me the clip.
I'll do it.
Yeah, get us that clip.
That would be hilarious. He'll hate that. clip. Give me the clip. I'll do it. Yeah, get us that clip.
That would be hilarious.
He'll hate that.
What did Donnie do to him?
He just took a picture of him.
On his back.
Yeah, very.
It didn't go over well.
Which Donnie?
Wanton.
What'd he do?
He took a picture of Nate
on the street from the back
and put it on the wall.
And texted it to him.
And just tweeted it at him.
Or texted it.
I thought he texted it at him.
Something.
Texted it, yeah. Yo! See ya. Alright, we're him. Or texted it. I thought he texted it at him. Something. Texted it, yeah.
Yo!
See ya.
All right, we're rolling.
Yo, yo.
Who is that?
He's not returning the way.
Okay.
And here comes the purse guy.
He's still got the purse.
Bag of purses.
A lot of purses.
I feel bad for the purse guy.
Yeah, his shoulder's about to pop out of his socket.
Is he a rapper?
That's a big-ass purse.
Jesus Christ. How many purses can you fit he a rapper? That's a big-ass purse. Jesus Christ.
How many purses you can fit in that thing?
More like a beach bag.
How many purses you can fit in that thing?
He's got a pro cat among the rackets.
Yeah, it's nesting doll, so it's just like a...
Oh, Frankie!
Frankie!
Get in here.
Congrats, Frankie.
Frankie!
Congrats, Frankie!
Yay!
Congrats.
I don't think anyone here knows what we're congratulating you about besides Roan and I.
What is it?
Our man is off.
Oh, fuck yeah.
He is no longer a free agent.
Oh, no way.
You're not a free agent goof anymore?
Nope.
What the fuck?
Nope.
The goofing days are over, Frankie.
Here, talk.
Frankie's days are over.
He has a call now.
Yeah, Frankie.
Frankie,
where are we going to do the...
Can the yak throw you a personal bachelor
party?
Oh.
Oh, congrats, Absolutely. Yeah? Oh. Sit down, sit down, sit down.
Oh, congrats, Frankie.
Congrats.
Yes.
Oh!
We should do a personal,
maybe, would you be okay
if it was a personal
bachelor party,
but it was also
an escape house
that we made you
try to get out of?
You can do whatever
the fuck you want.
Okay, that's great.
All right, I don't need to see,
did everyone get that?
Yeah, I'm confused.
Did you get, like, engaged?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck yeah. Yes. Awesome, congrats. Thank you. I don't need to see. Did everyone get that? Yeah, I'm confused. Did you get engaged? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah.
Yes.
Awesome.
Congrats.
Thank you.
So was the contract thing a joke?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
I get it.
Free agent.
Okay, now it makes sense.
Free agent.
Free agent.
This is what Oasis thinks about a bunch of different bands.
So this is actually Liam Gallagher specifically of Oasis, what he thinks about everyone else
in the industry.
And they are fucking hilarious quotes about how much he despises
every single person on the planet.
On Radiohead.
I heard that fucking Radiohead record
and I just go, what? I like to think
what we do, we do fucking well.
Then writing a song about a fucking tree?
Give me a fucking break. A thousand year old
fucking tree? Go fuck yourself.
They are a boring
ass band. On the white stripe.
Liam Gallagher on the white stripes.
The right stripes?
Fucking rubbish.
School ties at the age of 24?
Fucking hell.
Agreed.
Agreed.
On Green Day, lead singer Billy Joel Armstrong.
Fuck right off.
I'm not having him.
I just don't like his head.
That's true.
Keep going.
On Marilyn Manson.
I said to Marilyn Manson, your music is shit, but your fucking show is mental.
What else?
Hold on.
Roast these motherfuckers.
Dude, he's just roasting these fucking guys.
He's just going through.
Did you hear the voicemail that Frankie got from Spider last night?
Oh, yeah.
We haven't talked about that.
No.
What happened?
Very weird.
What?
Can you play it?
I think someone know what happened. Very weird. What? So I'm on Spider's side where I don't,
I think someone hacked his phone where like,
you know how you can go onto a website and have two numbers call each other?
Yeah, yeah.
So I got a call from Spider on Saturday night at 11 o'clock at night.
And he had a call from you too?
No.
I didn't answer the phone because I was just like, whatever.
I just missed it.
All of a sudden I get a voicemail.
And this was the voicemail.
It says Spider.
You can see it.
Yep, I'm seeing it. it up a mom and nanny
She can't remember me anymore
You fuck that poorly
Spani's got dementia. Oh, no.
Not dementia.
Nana's got dementia.
Ew, no.
Nana.
Ew, no.
My Nana can't remember anything.
Yesterday I walked in with everything happening.
I engaged and she goes, happy birthday.
Oh, no.
She's like Frosty the Snowman.
Snap out of it.
Yeah. Spider Yeah Spider 1103
Saturday October 23rd
2021
That's where you think
Your speaker is
Oh my god
That is way
Way more disturbing
Than I expected
Where was Spider
Spider murdered
What is his explanation
He was in Bloomington
Spider goes
I was home sleeping
In New York City Asked Tommy And then Tommy goes No you weren't No he wasn't You his explanation? He was in Bloomington. Then Spider goes, I was home sleeping in New York City.
Asked Tommy.
And then Tommy goes, no, you weren't.
No, he wasn't.
You were in Indiana.
He was in Indiana.
I said, well, now what is that fucking name?
Oh, boy.
He also has no outgoing call to me.
What?
So that's why I think it was that.
Can you delete that?
That's definitely like a fake thing.
I want it on record that Spider did not murder someone.
That might be a murder.
How do you know? Because he couldn't have. I want it on record that Spider did not murder someone. That might be a murder. How do you know?
Because he couldn't have.
Why?
Because he's fucking Spider.
Nah, that's not true at all.
That's not true at all.
He told me straight to my face he didn't do it.
That has to be some sort of prank.
Oh, okay, never mind.
That's what the Parkland kid said too.
Yeah, but play that again.
I can tell if it's real or not.
Especially you.
You know what these fucking sounds sound like.
That's ladies screaming
number three
the last scream here
watch
yeah that could
certainly
be a prank
so that spider
I think it killed
multiple people
can you reverse
sound search
a sound
that's just a
John Lennon album
see if it's available
what the fuck
it's wild
bunch of fucking students it's available What the fuck It's wild Bunch of fucking students
It's definitely like a
App right
No
Not definitely
So you know how you can like type
Yeah my friend did that to me
And one of my other friends once
And like three nights in a row
It would be like I wake up at 3am
And we both have like
A missed call from each other
But neither of us called each other
And it would be like a four minute voicemail
And the voicemail was just dead air That's more creepy but that but it's like a it's like you
could it's like a website you can just put two numbers in and make them call each other i used
to do that all the time liam gallagher liam gallagher on mumford and sons i'll leave you
with this one everyone looks like they've got fucking knits and eat lentil soup with their
sleeves rolled up i'm sure they're all nice lads but that's not for me they look like fucking
amish people i need my music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit
fucking dangerous.
Dangerous.
Fuck, yeah.
Alright, Frankie, congratulations.
Congrats, Frankie.
The escape room is going to be so sick.
It's going to be really hard, too.
No, he's never going to escape.
Alright.
Anything else, boys?
Anything from the voices, Jer?
Anything else?
Any parting shots?
Steven, I feel confident.
8 o'clock tonight, your presentation goes live.
Five tool player.
Yep.
Asian.
Yeah.
The man.
Okay, hope so.
Steven Chet.
Good luck, Chet.
Good luck.
It's in God's hands now.
It's true.
And the fans.
Mainly the fans.
Let's get some upvotes on that video.
Maybe Che Hive commenting.
Che Hive commenting.
Che Hive.
I want to see all the Che Hive in that Dave Portnoy show episode.
Hire Che.
Hashtag hire Che.
Should we get it trending?
Yeah.
Tomorrow?
We'll trend it tomorrow.
You want to trend that?
We'll trend it tomorrow. Hire Che trend that? We'll trend it tomorrow.
Hire Che.
Yeah, let's trend that shit.
Is there a better...
We're going to need your main account though, Seth.
We're going to need access to it.
Of course.
Well, you're not going to get access.
No.
We're going to need access.
We're going to need full access.
We're going to need you to turn over the passwords.
It's all your accounts.
The only person that has access is Owen.
Owen has access.
Oh, I have access to your... You do not have access to my account.
To what, your Twitter?
Yeah.
Owen gave it to me.
There's no way.
You haven't seen the tweets?
I delete them fast enough.
I would know.
There's no way.
Caucasian James would have told you.
He would have.
Yeah.
Caucasian James knows everything about Barstool.
I love him.
Why don't we hire him?
He tweeted at me yesterday and was like, I saw Bryce Hall's in the office.
Why don't we hire him?
Or has he got his own gig?
I think he does.
What the fuck?
Yeah, what's he up?
Why can't he just do, you know what I mean?
He can do two gigs.
Yeah, two gigs.
He lives in LA, for starters.
Yeah, so?
Barstool LA.
Learned at Barstool.
So does Coop, brother. Learned at Barstool. Didn't Barstool ever go to the Fl gigs. Yeah, two gigs. He lives in L.A. for starters. Yeah, so? So what? So does Coop, brother.
Didn't Barstool go to the Flames?
Yeah, it did.
But we tried.
Manchester United legend Paul Scholes is getting roasted over a bizarre video where he's sucking
on his 20-year-old daughter's toes.
Oh.
Jesus.
Jerry?
Wow.
Jerry.
Why videotape it, Jerry?
Put up the video or no? Why videotape it, Jerry? Put up the video or no?
Why videotape it, Jerry?
Jerry's going to want to see that.
Are we planning to put up the video or no?
It's on BarstoolSports.com.
Go check it out.
Pull it up.
You want to get a reaction?
Jerry, what do you think about this?
I want to see it.
Jerry is a feet guy.
He's biting her toenail.
That's okay.
That ain't weird.
He's doing a toenail thing.
That's way worse. I don't know. He's doing a toenail thing. That's way worse.
I don't know.
There's no sexual act in that.
No, that's not.
It's weird, but.
Wow, that's so weird.
What is that?
Typical Mank.
Typical Mank.
That's fucking Mank.
Look at his face in the first picture.
Why not?
No way.
That's his fuck face.
That's so weird.
That's like his fuck boy pose. Oh, that That's his fuck face. That's so weird. That's like his fuck boy pose.
Oh, that is his fuck boy pose.
Okay, that's more weird.
That's his daughter.
That's his daughter's more weird.
That looks like he's trying to get...
Kyle, that is the face you make in the mirror.
I know, and I look at him.
You look hot, though.
You do.
Is that weird? That's weird. I don't think that was that weird. It wasn't that weird?
That's weird.
I didn't think that was that weird.
It wasn't that weird.
It's a baby girl.
Plus, you know how many pounds he's made?
How many quid?
How many quid?
He made so much quid.
20 quid.
Is there like a drill rap
called quid game yet?
I want to hear
I want to hear
an age hop on that
Yeah
Big man with quid game
Quid game bonkers
I don't know
I don't know how to rap
Got the beef with zonker
That's all I've got
That's all I've got
Big man's quid game bon Got the beef with Zonker. That's all I've got.
Big man's quid game bonkers.
Internet beef with Zonker.
Is this quid game?
This is quid game.
Listen.
Oh, it's on a UK general play. Zedno Productions.
Big man came with a U. Big man came with the you.
Big man, what about you?
I came with the quid.
Then I gave it back to you.
Listen.
Let's go.
Quick game.
Did it for the rivals
Quick game
No subtitles
Quick game
I go hard
Quick game
Put me up in the yard
I don't have my
I don't have my drill yet
I got let me
I'll work on it
I'll have it by the end of the week
Listen
Big man
The subtitles line was good
Yeah
I just need more bro
I just need more
This shit was hot
Yeah bro
I'll write the quick games I'll write the quick games.
I'll write the quick games drill rap.
I'll have it by the end of the week.
It's the least I could do.
All right.
See everyone tomorrow.
Thank you, Jerry.
You got it.
That was good. Outro Music Yankees, obviously. Thank you.