The Yak - Steven Cheah: Barstool's Only 5 Tool Player | The Yak 10-26-21

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Jersey Jerry army. For life.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All in favor of replacing Jersey Jerry, replacing Brendan with Jersey Jerry full time, say aye. Oh, damn. I tried to get the vote for you there. Shit. We say loyal to our guy. No, we were loyal as fuck.
Starting point is 00:00:43 That was fucking ridiculous. Brandon, I hate him to death, but I would never turn on him like that. It was a test. No, we were loyal as fuck. That was fucking ridiculous. Brandon, I hate him to death, but I would never turn on him like that. It was a test. No, and I like Jerry a lot. But Brandon has been saying mean things about Jerry. What? Where is Brandon?
Starting point is 00:00:57 He's sick. Thirsty. Something you know a lot about. Yeah, I'm never sick. A little sick boy. What's up, boys? Jerry's here. Jerry's hard to do like that.
Starting point is 00:01:09 You know how it is. You know what I mean? Otherwise, we'd be no better than Brandon. You know what I mean? The way he was disloyal to you. What did he do? You kicked him out of the army. He's done. Disloyal? Dishonorable? I'm not saying we did anything. I'm just saying it's just a coincidence how he's sick now.
Starting point is 00:01:27 What the fuck is that slim-ass dude? He's not that slim, is he? Yeah, when did he get so slim? God damn, he's probably depressed. Oh, dude, he probably is. It's a rough summer for him. He lost 40 pounds after the fucking Travies for the boys. I think he did.
Starting point is 00:01:40 We're joking about it, but I can see that being a major... Dude, do you think anyone here doesn't go through depression? Do you think anyone in here doesn't internalize negative comments about themselves? I don't think Nancy doesn't go through depression. No. No. He's like a horse with blinders. It's always somebody else.
Starting point is 00:01:56 The blinders keep all the negative shit out. He'd get depressed if his, how many people knew him, went under 50%. I could never, literally never happen. Physiologically couldn't happen. No. Statistically impossible. Statistically, that just... It's an anomaly.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Could never happen. Jerry, we'll redo the vote at the end of the show, so no pressure. No problem. Yeah. Okay. Just take the temperature of the room. Brendan's got some fans here, I guess.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Yeah, he's got fans. Yeah. He's not in the army. Nope. Fuck that. Can he be a mercenary? Nah, fans. Yeah. He's not in the army. Nope. Fuck that. Can he be a mercenary? Nah, he's done. He's just done.
Starting point is 00:02:28 He's done. Oh, what is... Okay. My top guys would die for the cause if push came to shove, so for someone to say this is a fake army really just gets me upset. You're just the chief of staff in your own army? Yeah. Commander in chief.
Starting point is 00:02:41 He's like Dwight Schrute being the bellboy at the Hell Hotel. You're the general. You're the secretary for your army? I got a guy. Oh, you have a general? Yeah, but nobody knows who he is. Oh, shit. Is it me?
Starting point is 00:03:01 I didn't say that. It might be me. Are you the general? Am I the general? It could be any of us if nobody knows. It could be any of you guys. Does the person know? They don't.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Those are oftentimes the best generals. They don't even know they have the job. That's just powerful. Okay. Very powerful. That's very, very powerful. They can't be compromised if they don't know they're the general. Who's that African warlord, like General Buttfuck?
Starting point is 00:03:27 Yes. Naked. General Buttfuck. Butt naked? Butt naked, yeah. You made him General Buttfuck. I mean, he was in the Book of Mormon, I think. He was like a main character in the Book of Mormon play.
Starting point is 00:03:37 He's a bad person, right? I don't know. Depends on how you look at it. Depends on how you look at it. Child soldier guy? One of those? Yes, sir. Well, then what other way can you look at it. Is he a child soldier guy? One of those? Yes, sir. Well, then what other way can you look at it?
Starting point is 00:03:47 What point of view do you have? It's very American to think that soldiers have to be 18. There you go. Very American. Hey, Steven, how are you doing? We need to check in on him. He had his big presentation with Dave today. Are you okay?
Starting point is 00:04:02 Are you doing well? Yeah. I just had a follow-up conversation with him about certain Are you okay? Are you doing well? Yeah. I just had a follow-up conversation with him about certain things. What? I don't know. Tell us exactly what happened.
Starting point is 00:04:12 No, I mean tune in tonight. I'm not trying to tune in tonight. I'm not trying to wait. I want to know from you. You're our guy. You are our guy. Give us the exclusive. You've been on this show
Starting point is 00:04:19 longer than you've been on the Dave Portnoy show. That's a fact. Okay, I mean... Yeah. How much do I get into it? Just give us a general vibe. People can... You don't. That's a fact. Okay, I mean, how much do I get into it? Just give us a general vibe. People can, you don't have to tell us everything.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Okay, so the background of it was, Big Hendo's is that I did pitch going full-time content, I think maybe in like late May or early June or something like that. And I talked about it with Dave and with my bosses, Jen and Deirdre. They're cool with it. And I talked to Dave and Erica, and things and things started
Starting point is 00:04:45 to slow down a little bit. I pitched them both a presentation that I also pitched to Big Cat around that time, which he loved. I loved it. You're a sucker for PowerPoints. I am a sucker for PowerPoints. I'm a sucker for organizing thoughts. He did the entourage one.
Starting point is 00:05:01 He called himself a five-stool player. Steven Che. The called himself a five tool player. Steven Chey. The only five tool player in the industry. What are those five tools again? Diehard fan of one team. That's of course one of the known tools. That's not even one of your eight best tools.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Diehard fan of one team. Gambles on sports. It seems like a lot of people who now have at least two of these tools. Go ahead. Facts. Okay. Film community. Respect the voice of the film community.
Starting point is 00:05:34 I'm out. This is like the never have I ever. You're like, drop your hand down. I'm out. I'm missing that tool. NFL draft. Voice in the NFL draft community. Still don't have that tool.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Rowan, you're back in. I feel like the film community, there's some people in the film community who follow me. No, but you're not in the film community. You don't produce. You don't produce. Now we're moving the goalposts. That's what that means. Can any of us make up five tools that pertain to us? No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:06:01 These are the five tools. No. If you read the fine print of your Barstool contract, it definitely says these are the five tools. These are the five, and I agree with that, but it's just exclusive to NFL media people. I am the only person. Nobody else has.
Starting point is 00:06:17 I can't even think of anyone that has three. The only person has four. I have three, I think. What's the fifth tool? You have four tools that are exclusive to you. Everyone has unique tools. You're getting mad about this in the wrong way, KB. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Name your tools then, KB. Watch when you come up with just four. I'm in the GeoGuessr community. Anyone can make up a community. Right. But Steven did it first. And mine is specific to the NFL. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:43 But what was the last tool? Fantasy football shows. I mean, I feel like I have all these tools. I think Ron is pretty close. Ron's like a four and a half star recruit. I just need to start making film breakdowns because I did contribute a film breakdown of Yannick Ngakwe last year. I did have my own film breakdown that I put up edited and voiced over by me.
Starting point is 00:07:06 That's five of the tools. That's the whole requisite. You're not helping my case. I know, but you're trying to exclude my tools. No, he is helping
Starting point is 00:07:12 your case because Ronan is full-time content. I'm the blueprint. Dude, I'm the fucking... I'm not trying to take away from it though. So what did they say when you said
Starting point is 00:07:22 you had the five tools? I mean, so what kind of sucked about it all is that as i was walking into you know i was walking into a guy who already had his mind made up because i'd given the presentation to dave before but but uh like i've told you this is a good thing because you now have given it publicly and now we get the the groundswell for steven shay the people will grow the grassroots movement yeah hopefully hopefully yeah because yeah i need as many people in my corner as possible for Stephen Shea. The people will revolt. The grassroots movement. Yeah. Hopefully.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Hopefully. Yeah, because I need as many people in my corner as possible. So did my slide go over well? Yes. There was a side, a guest slide, it just said,
Starting point is 00:07:54 what makes Stephen Shea different? And just in bold letters it said Asian. Very, very small place. You can list that as one of your tools. Yeah. You should have.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah. But I think that part went over well? That went over well. All right, good. Good. But guys like Nick and KB are trying to take away from your five tools. I know. I think you should be full-time content.
Starting point is 00:08:13 You didn't mention the yak? I mean, no. I think you already are. This was specific to NFL. Yeah, he was trying to come down to the second floor for real, for real. Whose desk do you have your eyes on when you move down here? Good question. My desk has a leak over it now.
Starting point is 00:08:28 So it's actually a hazard. So maybe you should just move down right now. So you don't get diphtheria. What happens when you get down here and then you realize that it sucks down here and you want to go back upstairs? Good question, Sass. It doesn't, dude. I operate in the corner of a dark room for 12 hours a day. But you love your job. That sounds significantly better. I'm talking about being at home.'t, dude. I operate in the corner of a dark room for 12 hours a day. But you love your job.
Starting point is 00:08:45 I do. That sounds significantly better. I'm talking about being at home. Yeah, yeah. Grinding. Yeah. Steven is loyal as it comes. I actually appreciate Dylan, who actually cuts up this show.
Starting point is 00:08:57 He did a similar thing. He's actually trying to make the other transition. He applied through LinkedIn, which was a wild move. To a barstool position? To a barstool position? To a barstool position. While he already works here? Yes. That's unprecedented.
Starting point is 00:09:12 I like him. I was very upset that he... He's not in the office, is he? Yeah, he is. He sits over there. Liam told me when it was... He was like, did you hear Dylan applied for another job?
Starting point is 00:09:21 I was like, this motherfucker, I like having him around. He's like, but he applied to a job upstairs oh okay well i've never met him avoid the in-person yeah conversation yeah dylan in a future first for my rights oh whoa okay jerry give us your five tools uh like like uh like stevens like stevens yeah and i think my first asset my first tool to me would be the jersey jerry army back in me okay i do have an actual legit army yeah militia second second one i'd say um oh that's fine to be a one i would i would say no.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I wouldn't even say I'm like a wild card. You know what I mean? I can do multiple different types of shows. I can do serious shows. I can do the Yak. Not saying it's not a serious show, but I can do the Yak. I can do Pick Central. Pro Football Show, I think, was electric.
Starting point is 00:10:23 So I can just make my way into multiple different things. Adapt to different types of environments. You're a Gemini, aren't you? Toris. Alright, third? Three would be I might only have
Starting point is 00:10:42 two tools. That's your third tool. So you only have two tools. Okay, that's fine. That's your third tool. So you only have two. Yeah, so you're a rough and rowdy fighter. Yeah, I see it everywhere. Rough and rowdy fighters for? That's a big one. Tattooed.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Tattooed is fine. And probably the only person in this office with a size 7 1⁄2. No, there's a lot of women. KB. Jerry Thornton is a 7 1⁄2. Who is? How the fuck do you know that? Jerry Thornton is a 7.5. Who is? How the fuck do you know that? Jerry Thornton is not a 7.5.
Starting point is 00:11:09 And why do you know that? Because he says he's huge. I had to get a shoe order from him. That can't be true. It is. He followed it away in his mind. I have the length of a 7.5 with the width of a 10. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:11:20 So I'm stuck with a 9. All right, so those are good tools. I'm a 9 too. Yeah. He has an army. A chameleon, only has two tools, tattooed, seven and a half. Yeah. Steven, you can't compete with that. Rough and rowdy.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Oh, you're a six-tool. Jerry's a superstar. Yeah. I have three tools. Yeah? God's given tools. That's it? Cock, two balls.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Nice. Yeah. Nice. That's the way I see two balls. Nice. Yeah. Nice. That's the way I see it. Nice, bro. I love that about you. I hope you get the job, Steven. Steve, what is...
Starting point is 00:11:54 I just buddied you. That's a good... Yeah, we're friends. Yeah, you're throwing yourself under the bus. You're kind of falling on the... I think, Steven, you need a better army backing you up. We need to get more... He's a high. Too many Ur better army backing you up. We need to get another Che High. The Che High.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Too many Urkels on your team. We need to get a Che High. That's why your wind's low. The Che High needs to go into overdrive to get Stephen the dream job. So what did Dave say? Was he saying no? Yeah, he said no. Well, so here's the...
Starting point is 00:12:22 No, no, no. Dave said no to Nick originally as well. True. Said he wasn't electric. It's true. Yeah. Look at you now. Dave thinks that Steven is too serious.
Starting point is 00:12:32 He thinks that Steven's applying for a job at ESPN. But I think Steven's funny for that. Yeah, there's a place for that. As long as you have a foil around you. What about if Steven did something with somebody who's pitched him something with somebody that's not as serious as Stephen? You're saying pair him up with a goofy?
Starting point is 00:12:51 Yeah, pair him up with a goof. To make it balance out a little bit. What goofs do we have left, though? Any free agent goofs? Any single goof? No, that's a good question. Who's the goof? I almost acronymed that one. That is like your Instinctive move
Starting point is 00:13:08 I know To make a joke If it's a three word thing I'll make an acronym Every time TLA Free agent goof You almost got me good there
Starting point is 00:13:15 Was that on purpose bro Yeah he was trying to get me done God I would have been Damn So Steven Where do you think It stands right now Just bad still you think it it stands right now
Starting point is 00:13:25 just bad still you're you think of it negatively i think of it as positive yeah so so to be clear first off i really do like my current job but i pitched this in may or june or whatever and dave's. And Eric's answer was the same. They said I could do it. They weren't like, you absolutely can't do this. They said you could do it. I've been here five years. They said, you know, we're not going to tell you no.
Starting point is 00:13:53 But there's just a very wide gap between the salary. Right. To the point where, I mean, 35, I have two kids, family. You would be in poverty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to the point where I mean 35 I have two kids family like you would be in poverty yeah yeah yeah if you made what us
Starting point is 00:14:08 content guys are making you wouldn't fucking have it sent to your name yeah I can't say for sure but you know when we talked figures it was
Starting point is 00:14:19 it was a cavernous gap cavernous gap cavernous gap that of a cave that hurts to think about or a cavernous gap. Cavernous gap. That of a cave to think about. Or a cavern. Huge gap. I'm not trying to be a wild man. I was realistic and was open to
Starting point is 00:14:33 degrees if needed, but it can't be cavernous. Be like a little gully, maybe. I might pick up a second job. Like a Chipotle or something. Fill that cavernous gap Yeah The second floor, a little caulk in that gap
Starting point is 00:14:49 Yeah, yeah Start getting coffee for the guys upstairs Alright, Stephen I heard they tip well up there I'm rooting for you, Stephen They're rolling in it up there Yeah They're just throwing out Benjamins upstairs
Starting point is 00:15:01 I talked to Dave on my helicopter ride in today It's like Wolf of Wall Street upstairs. Steven's like, I'm not leaving. Speaking of presentations of high magnitude, take it away. Big dogs. Oh, yeah. It went well. It was a good call. I don't think that they're for sale for sale, but I think we will eventually get them to be for sale.
Starting point is 00:15:30 We could take over from within. Yeah. We're going to do something with them. I think maybe we'll start with some type of exclusive line that the people in this room will come up with, and then we're just going gonna fucking take the whole show down so when do you think like so obviously it's like if we did a line with big dog yeah it'll probably do really well right so do you think then they'll be like well i think it's a slow process they're not for sale right now because i think they just got like there was i couldn't really follow is something about like they got bought by someone like a year and a half ago and and they're trying to rebrand. So the timing was not the best timing, but I think we'll get it eventually.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Do you think there's a Pepsi-Coke rivalry with Big Dog and Clifford the Big Red Dog? No, I think it's the Big Dog and Life is Good. Life is Good, Jake. Jake. I hate that fucker. Which I want to do. I actually want to do like a – when were we talking about this? Doing an Avengers shirt?
Starting point is 00:16:25 Oh, yes. Yeah, Rowan and I were talking about it in Indiana, doing an Avengers shirt of all life is good, big dogs, no fear, and one guy. All the shirts together on one shirt simultaneously. Yeah, that's awesome. I was sick with that. That would be amazing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Like when you have the NBA jackets with every logo on them at all times, just have everybody like kind of huddling around to saying, a good ass fucking phrase. You just have to get the right phrase. Maybe it's gone. He looks like the fucking, the life is good guy. What the hell? But it was crazy talking to the big dogs. How, how many were there?
Starting point is 00:16:59 Two. Two big dogs. Yeah. There was, yeah. Are they big men? The big dog is a big man. What'd their voice sound like? Like big enough to bowl a 300 or? Yeah, Are they big men? The big dog is a big man. How big? Like big enough to bowl a 300?
Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah, big enough to bowl a 300. He also just had like a – he was calling in from California. He had a – I don't know. You could just tell. Like I think there was probably a surfboard off the screen. Did they take you seriously? Yes. Are they experiencing an uptick because of your publicity?
Starting point is 00:17:24 Probably, which they probably don't fully realize yet. They don't understand. They probably were like, wow, people are talking about Big Ducks. Erica was on the call with me. Okay. So it was very official. Was it Rick Scott? No, don't talk to him.
Starting point is 00:17:39 How do you know those names, brother? Google, the founder. No, it wasn't the founder. Oh, you don't even know the names. Oh, he does. He does. He does. Don't take our leverage away. Steve and Dog. Steve and Dog.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Do they have to identify as a certain breed? No, they did talk. We did talk about different breeds. When we take over, we will. Yeah, we'll do all the breeds. The biggest ones. Yeah. Mostly. We'll do all the breeds. What were their favorite dogs? The biggest ones. Yeah. Mostly.
Starting point is 00:18:08 They only like big-ass dogs. Yeah. It was good, though. It was a good meeting. I feel very bullish. It's not going to be as clean-cut as like, hey, here's a check, but we'll get there. We'll get there. The employees are going to see a giant uptick in sales with the line we do.
Starting point is 00:18:23 They may stage a coup. Mm. A walk stage a coup. A walkout? Data. It was very funny talking to them, though, because they were like, we have an archive of, like, historical drawings from the big dog artists. And it's like, so, like, what does that look like? Like, just other big dogs? Yeah. So they got something.
Starting point is 00:18:43 They got a headquarters. I think it was. I think it was the big dog's house. They have the fucking- They have the artist chained up in the basement just drawing dogs. They have one retail store left, which is hilarious, in Tennessee. We got to go. Oh my God. They have a retail store?
Starting point is 00:18:59 Yes, they used to have retail stores everywhere. They used to have like 200 retail stores. Is it like in a mall or something, or is it just one building? I don't know. That would be dope. Can we go? We got to go. Yeah, we should.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Can we do a live show from there? I don't know. Let's find it. I wonder what city he's in. That would be awesome. I did not know they even had any retail stores. What city would he be in? Murfreesboro?
Starting point is 00:19:17 Yeah. Oh, Cowie. So Tico just walked by. Completely different. Yeah. Looks like a completely different person. Big Dog Sportswear in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
Starting point is 00:19:29 I want to go there so bad. What the fuck is Pigeon Forge here? It looks so sick. Kingsport? Holy shit. It looks awesome. That's exactly what I imagined it to look like. Wait, go to the...
Starting point is 00:19:42 Are those slim parking spots? Are those only motorcycle parking spots? Google it. Google it. Yeah, look at this guy. Look at this. Click that picture. Just a big dog looking at some big...
Starting point is 00:19:51 Look at that. I fucking love it. Those are motorcycle parking spots. That's a big dog. Yeah, that is. It's only for motorcycle. Oh, my God. Huge.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Why is it huge? This is big dogs. Because if you don't make a small, big dog... That's no such thing. This guy posted. What is that? That was pretty good. That was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:20:10 That was pretty good. He knew we'd want this context. Yeah. All right. Maybe we go there. Maybe we go there and buy the whole store. Maybe that's the thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Could you open up a location? Yeah. Become managers at big dogs. Open a branch of it. You could definitely open up a branch. Why not? Like the McDonald's dudes? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:28 You know what they did? Ray Kroc? Yeah. Save big, sale teeth, buy two, get one. You can open up a two-gallon one. You can get like $10,000. Wow. Put one in Times Square.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Damn. Yeah, why don't we open up a Big Dogs out of Brooklyn? Or just downstairs. Yeah. Or in here. Save us on rent. Yeah, and we're the only customers. We can sell it to ourselves.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Mark up and sell it to ourselves and then use the money we make to buy more. I don't know how does that business fail. It doesn't. It's like an upside down pyramid scheme. We buy shirts for $10. We sell them for $15 to ourselves. And then we take the money and we buy more shirts for ten dollars that's infinite money that's infinite money or big dog shirts how far is the drive 11 hours let's do
Starting point is 00:21:16 a road trip let's leave after the big dog road trip holy shit send send compton over damn it what's what's Compton doing? That's brutal. What's that big wall of China? What's going on in there? What is that big silver line? Is that the flight route? I think it's if we fly, yeah. Oh, as the crow flies, as they say?
Starting point is 00:21:36 Yeah, yes. Got it. Oh, I've never seen that. That's cool. As the crow flies. It's only a two-hour flight. Let's leave after the yak. We'll be back.
Starting point is 00:21:44 We could go. Back by tomorrow's, yeah. We'll be back. We could go. Back by tomorrow's, yeah. We'll be back by 8 o'clock. You want to call the store? Back for dinner? Yeah, let's call the store. It's called Big Dogs. Let's buy out everything.
Starting point is 00:21:53 We're going to buy. Yeah, just say, can you put that on hold? And when they say what, say everything. The entire store. We want it all. Or let's ask for a specific one. Sign Fetch. Yeah, specific one. Sign Fetch. Yeah, do you have Sign Fetch?
Starting point is 00:22:06 It has Posmo Kramer. Yeah, let's call him. Nick, you talk to him. Oh, jeez. You got this. All right. You a big dog, Jerry? Yeah, I'm a big dog.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I'm a big little dog. You're being so humble today, Jerry. You are. It's my mental, I think. What about it? I'm a month out, a month and a half away from my fight So you're super focused Oh, are you starting to get into war mode?
Starting point is 00:22:29 Yeah, I'm starting to I know what that's like I'm starting to just have voices What are they saying? Just good stuff for me, building up my confidence Good Do me a favor and anytime you hear a voice for the rest of this hour Just say it out loud
Starting point is 00:22:43 Alright Is there a multiple in there this hour, just say it out loud. All right. Okay. Is there a multiple in there? No, just one little voice. All right. What did you just say? What was the last thing you said? Sounds like a little dog.
Starting point is 00:22:51 He just said that, like, you know, the guy on face and he's scared. Oh. He's scared. That's happening right now. Wow. I love it. Is that TJ? Is that TJ in your ear?
Starting point is 00:23:03 Yeah. Yeah. If you hear, if the little voice says anything for the next hour, interrupt. All right, I will. Okay? It's crazy how the mind works, though. Yes. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:23:16 No, that wasn't a voice. We need a different... You need to have a different... Do like a hot sit. Or just raise your hand. We need a puppet. Raise your hand if it's a voice. Sock puppet.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Or maybe low. It speaks really in a low tone. See if you can do like a... You tell me down here. Give it a puppet. Raise your hand if it's a voice. Sock puppet. Or maybe low. It speaks really in a low tone. See if you can do like a... You tell me down beaming? Give it a shot. Give it a low... What do you mean low? Like over here.
Starting point is 00:23:32 She tried to outfly me today. Not quite. Not quite. Not quite achieved. Looks like KB's winning this break. I don't know. Yeah. Oh, you guys broke up?
Starting point is 00:23:40 You guys have to go on your lunch date. That'll be awkward. Oh, we're supposed to just do it there? Oh, look at that. That reflection. Oh, supposed to just do it there. Look at that reflection. Oh, my God. It's artistic. This is creepy. Yo, this is super artistic.
Starting point is 00:23:49 You are one. Kiss her. Kiss her. Wait, can you align your profile to hers? I don't think you can. Oh, my God. Yeah, look right at her. Kiss her.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. I can't see her. Yeah, look down. Look down. Yeah, go right at her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. I can't see her. Yeah, look down. Look down. Yeah, go. Come on.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Come on. Right on the feet. Oh, no. 16 chapels. Oh, no. Get her. Kiss her. You got to go lower.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Go lower? Lower, lower, lower, lower. This way, this way, this way. Down here, down here. Oh, yeah. Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it out. Fucking plane.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him. Got a good laugh out of him. Blue eyes. I'm going to kiss him. I think that's Sinatra's son. It might be.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Kiss him. I don't know if we'll be able to see you over there. Big Cat doesn't understand reflections. Oh. He's a fucking freak. He's a freak in the sheets. He's a freak in the sheets. He's a freak. God damn.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Oh, fuck. That was good. You think he goes both ways? Yeah. Yeah, I think he goes both ways. Is that the voice? No, the voice is lower, right? It's a lot lower.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Like a demon? You think he goes both ways? Yeah, something like that. What the fuck? George and Jerry are beasts. It is crazy how the mind works, though, Jerry. You are right about that. It is.
Starting point is 00:25:23 It is crazy. Jerry, you're a fucking beast. It is. I'm intrigued by the mind. I'd say like a couple months mind works, though, Jerry. You are right about that. It is. It is crazy. You're a fucking beast. It is. I'm intrigued by the mind. I'd say a couple months ago, maybe a month ago, maybe a month, I was taking it serious, but I didn't have any super drive to go forward and really inflict pain. But now I'm starting to really just not like them. Nice.
Starting point is 00:25:48 The gravity of the situation is setting in. Yeah. Interesting. Very interesting. December 10th. So you have an urge to inflict pain. Yeah. My best wrestling matches were with guys that I would consider like a friend.
Starting point is 00:26:00 The guys that I kind of knew. That's when I performed my best. It's literally a hugging competition yeah it's easier to hug your friends so duh you're going to say that to the wrong person one day I exclusively only say it to you one day
Starting point is 00:26:17 and he's going to be the wrong person one day it's mad heads that are hearing you say this in the wrestling community and I am part of it you're going to run into them one day It's mad heads that are hearing you say this in the wrestling community. And I am part of it. It's mad. You're going to run into them one day. One of my five tools is being part of the wrestling community. That is true.
Starting point is 00:26:31 I am. Is Nationals in Atlantic City? What are your other five? No, definitely not. The New Jersey State Tournament is. I thought they were doing something back in Atlantic City. It wouldn't be Nationals. Regionals?
Starting point is 00:26:46 Districts? They don't have that. Maybe a conference tournament. When's the next? They were in Pittsburgh two years ago. All right, so one is being part of the wrestling community. Two is being a big dog. Three is being a big cat.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Four is being a terrible gambler. Five is coffee. Coffee. Coffee. There you go. Oh, there it is. That's it. You summed me up.
Starting point is 00:27:15 What's the Andy Sandberg movie? Was it Hot Rod? Is that him? Yes. Yeah. Where he has like the power of the animals? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:22 It's like you, big cat. I got both dogs and cats. Power of cat. Yeah. Yeah, that's like you, Big Cat. I got both dogs and cats. Power of cat. Yeah. Meow. Whoa. That's good. That's a small cat, though.
Starting point is 00:27:32 I have a voice in my head just constantly meowing. That's kind of nice. What about Big Cat? You got to change your name to Small Cat after that meow. What if you made Big Cat like Big Dog and kind of showed them a leverage against... They don't know what you're adding to the brand right now.
Starting point is 00:27:47 So he started making a big cat line, got all the business over towards you, exact same line but it's cats and then you kind of can take it away.
Starting point is 00:27:56 It's like a big leverage, a big chip, big leverage. There's a big cat that we, it just says like, I like to lick pussy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:02 Oh, that's fun. Yeah, and he's like fucking shredded A cat with pecs A cat with pecs Is just you want what you eat Yeah And I eat pussy
Starting point is 00:28:11 Yeah My own Yeah my own And he's just like Slurping up the tail Of a fucking cat That would be awesome A cat in like a full circle
Starting point is 00:28:18 A donut Just eating its own pussy Yeah Yeah I can see it now And it's hot Yeah A hot jacked cat.
Starting point is 00:28:27 I like that. He's, oh, he's sexy. Yeah, he's a bulge. Yeah. Scared cat. Yeah, you can see that. He's a pussy bulge. Pussy bulge.
Starting point is 00:28:38 Oh, no. No. Fucking shit, man. How do you get songs stuck in your head? That's what I've been wondering about. How does that happen? When you just have a song that's just singing in your head in the background,
Starting point is 00:28:50 you kind of pay attention to it. It's like, damn, that song's just been playing. Island boys. Do you ever try and get a song stuck in your head? No. No? Why would you do that? Sometimes I'll try to get a song stuck in my head to get a different song out of my head.
Starting point is 00:29:03 TJ, stop objectifying. Horny bad. Oh, kill him. Kill him, KB. Get him. Get him. Get him. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:29:10 Oh. Oh, you missed him. No, he missed him. He wasn't having it. TJ on the fucking rotating camera. He's quick with it. My boy looks like he's sniping people. My boy's been playing Valorant.
Starting point is 00:29:24 You playing Valorant, Teach? Not my game. Are people scared of us? Faith said that yesterday, and it made me think. Are people scared to walk by? They think that we're about to pull clown mode on them. That's not the case at all. We just clown everyone?
Starting point is 00:29:40 We clown ourselves more than anything. I don't think we do much clowning. Joke about everyone, okay? We used to clown more. We used to do a lot of pranks. We used to be than anything. People just need to know that. We do much clowning. Joke about everyone, okay? We used to clown more. We used to do a lot of pranks. We used to be prank show. Yeah. Trigger Happy TV.
Starting point is 00:29:51 That was season three. Then fucking cancel culture came around. Fucking ruined everything. Tried to protest. It's Austin Chappelle against the world. Imagine if they did a Barstool Sports protest against the Yak. Walking out. They're calling people free agent goofs.
Starting point is 00:30:08 The third floor walked out on us. It went home to their McMansions. Yeah. Millions. Michael Greer makes $350,000 a year. What? Damn. I don't think you're joking.
Starting point is 00:30:23 No. That's the thing too Which probably Probably does That guy knows the deep web though Oh yeah he does That's why he's in I don't fuck with him He's probably mining for
Starting point is 00:30:32 Bitcoin for his Freaking salary Who's this behind me Flavor Flav Who is this Who is this Jerry Jerry who is this
Starting point is 00:30:39 I thought it was Flavor Flav Yeah Flavor Flav Salute, boys. Good to see you. What up, boys? How we doing? What's the deal with the one who didn't return the wave?
Starting point is 00:30:52 Yeah, what's the guy? No, he did. Well, there was one purse collector. One guy had to carry the purse. Yeah, he carries his purse. What do you think's in there? His boy's purses. He's the lowest-hanging employee.
Starting point is 00:31:05 He just has a gag of purses in his purse. Look to him. He's saying, a purse is my purse bag. Jerry. Jerry. Oh, yeah. Jerry. That was the voice.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Jerry? Yeah. That was it. And the guy who just says your name? The voice that says Jerry You'll hear it throughout the office daily Really? No way
Starting point is 00:31:30 That goes through the walls Did you ever see the school shooters interrogation? Jesus Christ What a transition It was an incredible video The Parkland kid one? It's probably one of my favorite videos on YouTube Who blamed it on weed?
Starting point is 00:31:41 They just showed the difference between someone who is truly crazy And someone who's not. He was pretending to be crazy, and that's when you say things like, the demons are in my head. And what does a real crazy person do? Because I'm trying to act like they're a... They talk nonchalantly and super casually about their murders as if it was... Yeah, because real crazy people don't think they're crazy. Yeah, that one.
Starting point is 00:32:01 That's the thing. I heard something that was like, if you ever think you're crazy, it means you're not crazy. Because crazy people don't think they're crazy. Yeah, that one. That's like the thing. I heard something that was like, if you ever think you're crazy, it means you're not crazy. Because most people don't think they're crazy. Do you think you're crazy? I agree with that. No, I've had times where I did. So you're not.
Starting point is 00:32:14 So you're frauding. Maybe get back to me tonight at midnight. So you're stealing valor. Yeah. Existential crisis. Yeah. I think everyone's a little crazy. No, I'm twisted.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Little bro. You're sick and twisted. We're all a little bit crazy. Damn. I'm completely normal. That kid just got the death penalty, didn't he? Yeah. The fake crazy guy for fake crazy?
Starting point is 00:32:35 Yeah, fake crazy. That's what got it. If he had just been honest about his crazy level, it's like when a teacher's like, just come forward, whoever did it, we'll give you a lesser sentence if you just let us know who you were. If he was just like, yeah, I'm not really crazy, I'm just a murderer, they would have been like, all right, fine.
Starting point is 00:32:49 You're free to go. Yeah, yeah. Walk right out the door. House arrest, seven months. That's all you had to say, son. See, was that so hard? Oh, my God. All right, so what else we got going on?
Starting point is 00:33:03 What else we got going on, boys? But that dude did blame it on weed. Yeah. Yeah, was that recent? Weed and Percocet, I think. It was like he had like a statement to the court, and he was like, if only like the world stopped with the marijuana. Bro, you're not about to fucking blame it on weed, bro.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Don't ruin the party for the rest of us. Try to get fucking blazed. Maybe I should start distancing myself from your crazy ass. Your crazy stoner ass. I was always stoned. Oh, man. I'm about to shoot the fucking club up, bro. Don't say that.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Jesus. I meant to come inside of a... That's a spray. Let's get security in here. I'm just coming inside. Here's what I meant. Here's what I meant. That's what I
Starting point is 00:33:46 meant to say. Remember fucker right in the pussy. That was a fun. I got fucker right in the pussy when we were in Penn State.
Starting point is 00:33:52 No way. People are still doing it. That's actually in the stomach and it hurt. He I handled like a man.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I was I was in pain. Why did he hit you? He was hammered and he came up and gave me a gave me a pat
Starting point is 00:34:04 on the chest or the stomach and it was like I think it's way doubled you over. Yeah. He hit you? I was in pain. Why did he hit you? He was hammered and he came up and gave me a pat on the chest or the stomach and it was like, I think it was way stronger than the bar. It doubled you over. And he said fuck her right in the pussy? Yeah. What a legend. Can we pull up who blogged at Barstool about the fuck her right in the pussy guy? Which guy? Dan, it might have been you. It probably was. Jameis Winston? Jameis Winston.
Starting point is 00:34:20 That was awesome. Standing up on the desk. Like months after it was like Yeah A funny wave And also right after he had like Fucked up Yeah
Starting point is 00:34:31 What do you do? Jameis The best is the clip of Jameis Oh KFC The best is Can you get the clip Can you get the picture of Jameis
Starting point is 00:34:39 Showing up with his Full pads on When he was suspended He was suspended from Florida State for playing and they were like, Jameis, suspended means you can't play. And he just showed up with full pads on.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Like didn't understand what was going on. I love Jameis. Great facial expressions. Huge win. Legend. But he's still crab legs, right? Yeah, crab legs.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Crab legs, probably. Owen, you're on a heater today. One word, coffee. Perfect. One for one. One for one on laughs. But your print is looking pretty above half today on cam. I've been checking your prints.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Oh, hey. My man is poking. Is that a nook or a cranny? That's a cranny. That could be a nook. Cranny. The arms. The arms.
Starting point is 00:35:40 He can see it from the back. From the bike. My boy's cranny is so big you can see it from the back. From the bike. My boy's cranny is so big you can see it from the bike. I love our security guards. Anthony and Mike, they travel with us. Yeah, that's awesome how they are on the road now. Just shoving people when they get too close. But they don't give us action.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I know. They're hungry for action. They got one piece of action in Colorado. It was awesome. What do you mean? They got one piece of action in Colorado. It was awesome. So what do you mean? So like they come with us. They're great because there are like sometimes very big crowds and they just help, you know, manage like in and outs. But they don't really because we're not like celebrities.
Starting point is 00:36:17 So, you know, we'll take pictures and talk to anyone. So they don't really have anything to do in terms of like like if leo's walking down the street with security guard and someone goes up to leo the security guard has permission to like shove them but in colorado these two dudes who were hammered in broncos jerseys like ran across the stage into our like uh like little vip area and and anthony looked at me like do you know these guys i? I was like, no. And they just came and they fucking grabbed them. They were probably waiting for that.
Starting point is 00:36:48 They were so excited. They're like small town, they're like a rich small town cops who find kids underage drinking or something like that. Just like beat up a 17 year old or some shit. That's the vibe they give.
Starting point is 00:36:57 What would you do if he just pulled out a gun and just like execution styled both of them? What would you do in that situation? What would you do? I would hide the gun.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Yeah, put a bed in on the second half. You're going to die for your guys. I'd fucking take that gun and I'd put it in my garage. Yeah, throw out the gun,
Starting point is 00:37:14 take apart the gun and scatter it to the ends of the earth so there's no evidence. File off the serial number. Fine. That's a stupid question. Throw it off a branch
Starting point is 00:37:23 into a river. What would you do call the cops you love the cops we'll see bro that's one of your tools that's not true that's one of your five tools
Starting point is 00:37:35 your leftist AC ACabass loves the cops abolish LAPD that's the best that's the funniest video what video video
Starting point is 00:37:44 or like screenshot a loud ass sit bro quiet the fuck down that was a wet sit That's the funniest video. What video? Video? A loud ass sit, bro. That was a wet sit. That was a wet sit. He was like my leftist ACAB ass when calling the cops when I see a crackhead on the street. Pull that up, Teej. Because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:38:01 It's like a really old TikTok. It's just like the cringy. I don't love this flavor, though. Boy, you love this shit more than fucking much, though. That's why you have to slurp it. Drowns out the taste. Thanksgiving is trash now because grandma's be 35. Not enough pain in that mac and cheese.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Is there an ad read? Is there an ad read? Why are we pulling this out? I mean, this is strong. I tweet like a thousand times a day. We don't need to ridicule my... No one's ridiculed. Jesus Christ, you defensive bastard.
Starting point is 00:38:47 The fuck are you pulling that up? I tweet a thousand times a day. That's what you fucking pick? That was the worst. That must have been my worst leftist ACAB ass tweet. Tweeted it like a hundred times. Do you have a hundred leftists? I tweeted one yesterday. That's a better one.
Starting point is 00:39:02 That one is better. Do you think you have a hundred of them? Oh no, but I probably have like 50. You should put out an entire book. That would be funny. Or like one of those collages
Starting point is 00:39:19 where like everyone is a different shade and you like zoom out and it makes someone's face or something like that. Make it AOC's face or something like that. Are we still going to do Frank's album? Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Yes. Photo album? No, it's joke album. Prank or joke album? Prank album. Prank album. Fuck, we got to do that again. Track one is just like, yo, down low.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Next track is too slow Have you ever listened to like a comedy special Like Like listened to it like on Spotify Or something like that Yeah I mean Or like an album I guess
Starting point is 00:39:54 Yeah Yeah Cause like There was a long period of time Where that's all you could do Yeah Well I obviously That was never a thing for me
Starting point is 00:40:02 But I do listen to them occasionally The uh Crank Yankers The Crank Yankers No, Crank Yankers? No What the fuck were they named? What were the guys who did the phone calls? Not the Crank Yankers
Starting point is 00:40:11 Jerky Boys Jerky Boys Jerky Boys were so Jerky Boys were very Was it Jim Brewer? They were doing Asian accents Yeah, they were doing the Asian accents It was good
Starting point is 00:40:20 It was Fuck I forget Jerky Boys were Howard had some good ones. Sal and Richard. Sour Shoes. Goddamn.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Jerky Boys were great. Adam Sandler's. You should do that. You should put one out. I'm feeling some tenderness in my right rib right here. Uh-oh. What do you think that is? Gas? Right here? I get gas in you think that is? Hospital. Gas? Gas? Right here? I get gas in my chest area all the time.
Starting point is 00:40:48 That's not gas. It is. Right here. And then I have also a pain in my armpit. Swollen glands, maybe? Oh, I don't know what that would be. There's a sickness going around the office right now, unfortunately. What is it?
Starting point is 00:40:59 I don't know. Brendan's sick. Dave seems like he's sick. Hank said he's not feeling well. So, yeah, we're all fucked. COVID. No, like he's sick. Hank said he's not feeling well. We're all fucked. No, don't say that. Maybe. It was the voice. It's not you.
Starting point is 00:41:13 It was him. You don't want that. I don't want it. I'm just saying. I've seen Dave blow his nose. Oh, shit. How many times? Three today. What? Three today?
Starting point is 00:41:25 Do you think you caught them all? I watched them all, yeah. Yeah, right. But I'm saying, what if there was some when you weren't looking? It could have been more. Yeah, right. Extrapolating. I think he's carrying the napkin in his pocket.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Oh, which side? I don't know. Okay. You should start writing a journal every day of Dave's actions and then post it on the blog. That's a good idea. I think they canceled me. What? From the blog.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Why? I don't know. How many times have you been canceled? Like here? No, just in general. Once by Kendrick Perkins. Yeah. What did Big Perk say? He ain't a fan. I ain't a fan of his either Perkins. Yeah. What did Big Perk say?
Starting point is 00:42:06 He ain't a fan. I ain't a fan of his either, though. Okay. He was just saying some sideways shit, wasn't he? Perk? Oh, he always is. He always gets something on Twitter. Yeah, he gets cut off on ESPN all the time, too.
Starting point is 00:42:20 And then I think once here, all my stuff is just pending, pending, so I just stopped. They just never put it through. Who do you think it is, Hubs? I don't know. I really don't know who was in charge of it. Hubs Good, though? What was the last blog that you have pending right now? Just thanking Jersey Jerry fans.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Yeah, it's too controversial for the site. That sounds like someone higher up is fighting against the army. It does. It does sound like that, actually. Interesting. Someone's leftist ACAB ass. Yeah. They're trying to suppress the militia.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Yep. Wow. Maybe it was Brendan. The one guy said he was going to talk to his boss to push it through. I forget his name. Was it Brian? Yeah. He sits by me.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Behind me, he sits. Hubs? I don't know. What's by me. Behind me, he sits. Hubs? I don't know. What's he look like? Oh, Eric. He has like a beard. Mm-hmm. Hair?
Starting point is 00:43:12 Does he have hair? He's definitely Nate. Are they both Eric? Hubs? Yeah, Eric and Eric. He sits next to... Probably an Eric. Is he bald?
Starting point is 00:43:22 I think he is bald. It's Nate. Nate? Okay. Mm-hmm. He's Nate. Nate? Okay. He's your boss. Okay. Just so you know. Well, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:30 No. I'm telling you. He's my boss. Correct. He's a nice guy. Yeah, yeah. He's borderline Dave's boss. He's number two at the company.
Starting point is 00:43:39 It depends on how you see the pecking order. There's checks and balances that make them equal. Mm-hmm. Exactly. It's like the legislative see the pecking order. There's checks and balances that make them equal. Mm-hmm. Exactly. It's like the legislative... Be careful. Executive. I think he likes me.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Mm-hmm. Said he liked me. So, yeah. Probably does. Yeah, but none of my stuff gets pushed through. What else? What else got stopped? Yeah, what else is waiting?
Starting point is 00:44:03 Deontay Wilder. That didn't get pushed through. What does that say? No, just talking about after the fight how he didn't respect Tyson Fury. He's a crumbum. Just waste. Yeah. And then the other thing was the whole Matt James, Tyler Cameron, and me.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I just wanted to when the Bachelor Nation canceled me. Oh, you didn't list that on your cancellations? What happened there? So I went on a golf outing with Tyler Cameron and Matt James, and I was the caddy. And pretty much I said something about one of the contestants. And then, like, don't know yeah pretty much body shaming oh yeah i mean i i made a response video for so people just in behind the scenes just around them this was on an instagram live so somebody must have like screen recorded it i
Starting point is 00:44:59 guess and then sent it in to tmz and then the e-news and the cosmopolitan and so you were really canceled oh yeah they came after me bachelor they go they they're they're big they go after Sent it in to TMZ and then the E! News and the Cosmopolitan and stuff. So you were really canceled? Oh, yeah. They came after me, Bachelor. They go. They're big. They go after people. Was it Trent? Did Trent do it?
Starting point is 00:45:11 I don't know. He's definitely heard about it, though. Ooh. So where do you stand right now with the Bachelor fans? Oh, they're dead to me. Okay. All right. Good.
Starting point is 00:45:18 Good. They're dead to me. Good. Fuck them. Yeah. Would you watch, though, just for the enjoyment of the show? As long as that contestant's off the show. She's gone.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Don't have to see that. Love Island. I don't want to get in trouble. I can't say anything. She just after the show she got a lot of plastic surgery. Good thing you didn't say it. I know. You think you made her do it?
Starting point is 00:45:44 Wait, that was after your remark or that's what your remark was about? No, my remark wasn't even nothing out of disrespect. It was just I was asking Matt a question, and I said, hey, look. Is she really that ugly in person? Is that what you said? No, I just said, hey, how's her body? Because on TV, it doesn't look that great. Okay, yeah, I can see how that would be body and then and then she she went on um instagram
Starting point is 00:46:05 afterwards and then she she posted um a guy uh eating a bucket of chicken on the couch and then that's you yeah and then that's when i made the response video was it the dodgeball guy no it wasn't it was some other guy that was good close guy it was a fat guy did it look like you no i buried her though okay there's no coming back Did it look like you? No I buried her though Okay There's no coming back from it What'd you say to bury her? I made like a three minute response video
Starting point is 00:46:31 Three minutes? Yeah A lot to say That doesn't even fit on Twitter Yeah Instagram You're about to click through Instagram
Starting point is 00:46:37 On YouTube What was the nature of it though? I love a good burial It was just like you know Telling my side of the story and like, you know, don't ever come at a lot of people, my fans. They call me the Don. Oh. Oh, yeah. And then, you know, I started exposing some of her feet pictures and stuff.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Oh, no. Oh, no, Jerry. Oh, Jerry. Fighting fire with fire there. The comments were funny. They were crazy. Do you prioritize feet? how did you expose her feet pictures?
Starting point is 00:47:08 I got feet pictures from somewhere of her confidential? you revenge porned her feet? damn Jerry you are the dawn you should have been canceled thank god I'm in the army
Starting point is 00:47:24 is everyone else in the Army here? Yes. Yes. My tootsie's floating around online. Anyone want to vote again? All in favor of kicking Brandon off for Jerry?
Starting point is 00:47:34 Yes. Oh, wow. Loyalty. That's the whole revenge porn. Yeah, but he's going to revenge porn our feet. Brother, I'm fine with my feet being out there. Yeah, but he's going to revenge porn our feet. Brother, I'm fine with my feet being out there.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Yeah? Yeah. Let's see them. See? You ain't fine with the other time. Who left his ACAB ass. Mm-hmm. Fuck, man.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Should we call big dogs? Oh, yeah. We're going to call big dogs? This hour feels longer than others. Some days we got it. Some days we don't. I think we still got it. I think we still got it.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I think we lost it. I think we're just waiting for it. We're picking our spots. It's like a hitter. Yeah, we're a fighter. We're pointing them to death today instead of the knockout. Yeah, we're not going for the knockout. We're keeping our distance.
Starting point is 00:48:24 We're like Floyd, baby. We're like Floyd, baby. We're like Floyd, baby. Jerry, should we let the voice in your head play Family Feud? Oh. Now that's a good idea. That's a good idea. Somebody told us that as long as we play
Starting point is 00:48:41 Family Feud, he will downvote the video. And that was a threat. Not a warning. I've seen a lot of those. Somebody said that. One guy. Somebody said that? We can't risk that.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Yeah, let's make sure that we do our entire show off of one guy's preference. Got it. What's his name? We'll do a show for him. Let's figure it out. I would do a live yak for one person. An audience of one. That'd be very funny. Let's do it out I would do a yak for I would do a live yak For one person I would too An audience of one
Starting point is 00:49:06 That'd be very funny Let's do like 15 minute yaks And like you go in a line And one person at a time It's a personalized yak But it's like The tickets are $10,000 Yeah
Starting point is 00:49:16 Bobby Fisher playing chess Kirk Schneider Walking down Kirk Schneider Oh Kirk Well Wait I know a dude named Kirk Is it Kirk or Kirk He was nice about it He said please don't do Any more Family Feud It's so played out Walking down. Kirk Schneider. Oh, Kirk. Well. Wait, I know a dude named Kirk.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Is it Kirk? He was nice about it. He said, please don't do any more Family Feud. It's so played out and boring. It's an instant downvote any time I see it on an episode. Okay, so bring it on. You downvote any video on YouTube. You're a fucking jerk. You're just a loser.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yeah. I've never downvoted any video. Unless it's like one of the five. Sharky Duck. We downvoted Sharky Duck. That was tough. Well, because we got duped. We got duped. The only video I've downvoted is when it's like one of those ones where it's like one of the... Sharky Duck. We downloaded Sharky Duck. That was tough. Well, because we got duped. We got duped.
Starting point is 00:49:45 The only video I've downloaded is like when it's like one of those ones where it's like everyone's downvoting it. It'll have like half a million downvotes. And it's funny. You got to join in. Yeah. Like the YouTube rewind. There was a...
Starting point is 00:49:57 In the comments section, there was like a great revolt. And I think it was maybe 2015, 2016, where everyone just downvoted everything. It was very funny it made me laugh all like very very hard just like very regular comments down like 400 downloads it was just a very funny thing when the internet like gang gangs up for a very trivial stupid reason yeah they made the YouTube Rewind. It's like the most downvoted video of all time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:28 What is it? The YouTube Rewind. What is that? It's like a year. They do it every year. It's like a year on YouTube. And it's just all like the celebrities and stuff? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:37 And one year, I forget what year it was, but it's the most downvoted video ever. I think Baby by Justin Bieber is like number two. What? Yeah. What are you doing? I was going to take a sip. I thought you were going to
Starting point is 00:50:48 spill it for some reason. Dude, look at my fucking microphone. Oh, there we go. Fuck. YouTube Rewind. Will Smith, my favorite YouTuber. How do you not hop in on that? 19 million downvotes?
Starting point is 00:50:58 That's great. That's some great shit right there. Smith is looking fat. Jesus. I think people were pissed because Will Smith was in it and he's not a YouTuber. I could see that. Yeah. And he cheats on his wife.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Yeah, that pisses me off. He does? They have an open relationship. Oh, that's not cheating. Yeah, they like hate each other, don't they? Yeah. Are they still together? For the power, for the clout.
Starting point is 00:51:20 It's complicated, our relationship. Seen some crazy interviews with them. They're just spit roasting August Alsina. Yeah. What? Oh, yeah. His wife cheated on him with August Alsina.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Yeah, yeah. And had him do a red table sit down or something like that. That video's nuts. Here's why I cheated on your leftist ACAB ass. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:37 That video's crazy. Dude, look at my fucking microphone. It just leaves me. Uh-oh. You gotta lock it in with this thing. Twist this. You got to lock it.
Starting point is 00:51:48 I just was twisting it for 45 minutes, dude. Pete! I didn't see you twist it. This is broken. Come here. This needs fixed. Come in here. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Look at this. It's broken. This is every day for me. This is every day for me. Shit is broken in here. Fix this, please. Please. It's every day.
Starting point is 00:52:03 We need some WD-40. Or what's the opposite? Some tape? I can actually fix that. I know why It's every day. We need some WD-40 or what's the opposite? Tape? I can actually fix that. I know why it's doing that. Pete, Rone, and I walked back from the bar on Thursday. It was very awkward. I thought he was going to try to fuck us.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Rone drove. Where did you drive from with Pete? Didn't you go on like a five hour road trip with Pete? Far too long of a road trip. Yeah, we drove. It was like six hours or something like that. We drove from Jackson, Mississippi to Atlanta in a tornado. We walked five minutes and it was too much. What happened with the windshield wipers on that trip?
Starting point is 00:52:33 They were on because it was a tornado. And he was like, you're going to need to turn those off. The sound is driving me crazy. I love it. So we just drove with Driving rain On the windshield Dude driving in the rain Is hard as fuck
Starting point is 00:52:49 Yeah Do you guys like I'm like basically I may as well be blind I'll be the first to admit that I think it's pretty easy I've always struggled With just driving at
Starting point is 00:52:58 Makes it harder to see Out the window Just close your eyes and go That's like That's like how it feels Yeah I've had times where I'm driving And I'm like
Starting point is 00:53:04 I straight up could be In the other lane right now. I didn't do shit. You made it significantly worse. Look at this shit. I haven't driven a car in like a year. Yeah, you think you're out of practice? Actually, no. I drove one when we were in Kennesaw State.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Is it legal? Why is that illegal? Was it a rental car? Yeah. You're not 25. You don't need to be 25 to drive one. You need to be 25 to rent one. No, you need to be 25. You need to be registered on the rental. And in some states, you only need to be 21.
Starting point is 00:53:30 On the rental, you have to be registered. Well, I drove it. Why is that a law? 25. Doesn't make any sense. None. So you have to have nine years where you have your license? Every year, I get worse at driving. Yeah. And what's with the 18 to get busy, 21 to get dizzy laws out here?
Starting point is 00:53:47 What's 18 to get busy? Go to war? At the club, when you go to the club and you're like, you can go into the club but you can't drink. Or when it's like women can be 18, men can be 21. What's up with that? Is that the guy, Jerry? Is that the guy? Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:00 The guy? Yes. Okay, that's the guy. Wow, he's your boss. Be careful. You should be able to get into a bar when you're 18. In Wisconsin, you can go to a bar with your parents. When you're like 13, right?
Starting point is 00:54:11 Yeah, no, any age. If you're with your parents, you can drink. Eat the Dorito. Eat the Dorito, Nate. It's a great law. Munch, munch, Nate. Munch, munch, Nate. Munch it up, Nate.
Starting point is 00:54:19 You never know when it's your last. Jerry. The two-eyed wink. You like watching me? You like watching me? Yeah. I like watching me.'s your last. Jerry. The two-eyed wink. You like watching him eat? You like watching him eat? Yeah. I like watching him eat. There he goes.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Maybe write a blog about him eating. I should. Yes. That definitely not going to pass through. Maybe it will. Publish a blog, Nate Eats Chip. Yeah. Just that video clip.
Starting point is 00:54:40 We'll get you that clip. Give me the clip. I'll do it. Yeah, get us that clip. That would be hilarious. He'll hate that. clip. Give me the clip. I'll do it. Yeah, get us that clip. That would be hilarious. He'll hate that. What did Donnie do to him?
Starting point is 00:54:49 He just took a picture of him. On his back. Yeah, very. It didn't go over well. Which Donnie? Wanton. What'd he do? He took a picture of Nate
Starting point is 00:54:57 on the street from the back and put it on the wall. And texted it to him. And just tweeted it at him. Or texted it. I thought he texted it at him. Something. Texted it, yeah. Yo! See ya. Alright, we're him. Or texted it. I thought he texted it at him. Something. Texted it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Yo! See ya. All right, we're rolling. Yo, yo. Who is that? He's not returning the way. Okay. And here comes the purse guy.
Starting point is 00:55:14 He's still got the purse. Bag of purses. A lot of purses. I feel bad for the purse guy. Yeah, his shoulder's about to pop out of his socket. Is he a rapper? That's a big-ass purse. Jesus Christ. How many purses can you fit he a rapper? That's a big-ass purse. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:55:26 How many purses you can fit in that thing? More like a beach bag. How many purses you can fit in that thing? He's got a pro cat among the rackets. Yeah, it's nesting doll, so it's just like a... Oh, Frankie! Frankie! Get in here.
Starting point is 00:55:39 Congrats, Frankie. Frankie! Congrats, Frankie! Yay! Congrats. I don't think anyone here knows what we're congratulating you about besides Roan and I. What is it? Our man is off.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Oh, fuck yeah. He is no longer a free agent. Oh, no way. You're not a free agent goof anymore? Nope. What the fuck? Nope. The goofing days are over, Frankie.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Here, talk. Frankie's days are over. He has a call now. Yeah, Frankie. Frankie, where are we going to do the... Can the yak throw you a personal bachelor party?
Starting point is 00:56:22 Oh. Oh, congrats, Absolutely. Yeah? Oh. Sit down, sit down, sit down. Oh, congrats, Frankie. Congrats. Yes. Oh! We should do a personal, maybe, would you be okay
Starting point is 00:56:31 if it was a personal bachelor party, but it was also an escape house that we made you try to get out of? You can do whatever the fuck you want.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Okay, that's great. All right, I don't need to see, did everyone get that? Yeah, I'm confused. Did you get, like, engaged? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Yes. Awesome, congrats. Thank you. I don't need to see. Did everyone get that? Yeah, I'm confused. Did you get engaged? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Awesome. Congrats. Thank you. So was the contract thing a joke? Yes. Oh, okay. I get it. Free agent.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Okay, now it makes sense. Free agent. Free agent. This is what Oasis thinks about a bunch of different bands. So this is actually Liam Gallagher specifically of Oasis, what he thinks about everyone else in the industry. And they are fucking hilarious quotes about how much he despises every single person on the planet.
Starting point is 00:57:07 On Radiohead. I heard that fucking Radiohead record and I just go, what? I like to think what we do, we do fucking well. Then writing a song about a fucking tree? Give me a fucking break. A thousand year old fucking tree? Go fuck yourself. They are a boring
Starting point is 00:57:24 ass band. On the white stripe. Liam Gallagher on the white stripes. The right stripes? Fucking rubbish. School ties at the age of 24? Fucking hell. Agreed. Agreed.
Starting point is 00:57:32 On Green Day, lead singer Billy Joel Armstrong. Fuck right off. I'm not having him. I just don't like his head. That's true. Keep going. On Marilyn Manson. I said to Marilyn Manson, your music is shit, but your fucking show is mental.
Starting point is 00:57:48 What else? Hold on. Roast these motherfuckers. Dude, he's just roasting these fucking guys. He's just going through. Did you hear the voicemail that Frankie got from Spider last night? Oh, yeah. We haven't talked about that.
Starting point is 00:58:00 No. What happened? Very weird. What? Can you play it? I think someone know what happened. Very weird. What? So I'm on Spider's side where I don't, I think someone hacked his phone where like, you know how you can go onto a website and have two numbers call each other?
Starting point is 00:58:10 Yeah, yeah. So I got a call from Spider on Saturday night at 11 o'clock at night. And he had a call from you too? No. I didn't answer the phone because I was just like, whatever. I just missed it. All of a sudden I get a voicemail. And this was the voicemail.
Starting point is 00:58:22 It says Spider. You can see it. Yep, I'm seeing it. it up a mom and nanny She can't remember me anymore You fuck that poorly Spani's got dementia. Oh, no. Not dementia. Nana's got dementia.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Ew, no. Nana. Ew, no. My Nana can't remember anything. Yesterday I walked in with everything happening. I engaged and she goes, happy birthday. Oh, no. She's like Frosty the Snowman.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Snap out of it. Yeah. Spider Yeah Spider 1103 Saturday October 23rd 2021 That's where you think Your speaker is Oh my god That is way
Starting point is 00:59:17 Way more disturbing Than I expected Where was Spider Spider murdered What is his explanation He was in Bloomington Spider goes I was home sleeping
Starting point is 00:59:24 In New York City Asked Tommy And then Tommy goes No you weren't No he wasn't You his explanation? He was in Bloomington. Then Spider goes, I was home sleeping in New York City. Asked Tommy. And then Tommy goes, no, you weren't. No, he wasn't. You were in Indiana. He was in Indiana. I said, well, now what is that fucking name? Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:59:33 He also has no outgoing call to me. What? So that's why I think it was that. Can you delete that? That's definitely like a fake thing. I want it on record that Spider did not murder someone. That might be a murder. How do you know? Because he couldn't have. I want it on record that Spider did not murder someone. That might be a murder. How do you know?
Starting point is 00:59:45 Because he couldn't have. Why? Because he's fucking Spider. Nah, that's not true at all. That's not true at all. He told me straight to my face he didn't do it. That has to be some sort of prank. Oh, okay, never mind.
Starting point is 00:59:55 That's what the Parkland kid said too. Yeah, but play that again. I can tell if it's real or not. Especially you. You know what these fucking sounds sound like. That's ladies screaming number three the last scream here
Starting point is 01:00:10 watch yeah that could certainly be a prank so that spider I think it killed multiple people can you reverse
Starting point is 01:00:18 sound search a sound that's just a John Lennon album see if it's available what the fuck it's wild bunch of fucking students it's available What the fuck It's wild Bunch of fucking students
Starting point is 01:00:25 It's definitely like a App right No Not definitely So you know how you can like type Yeah my friend did that to me And one of my other friends once And like three nights in a row
Starting point is 01:00:36 It would be like I wake up at 3am And we both have like A missed call from each other But neither of us called each other And it would be like a four minute voicemail And the voicemail was just dead air That's more creepy but that but it's like a it's like you could it's like a website you can just put two numbers in and make them call each other i used to do that all the time liam gallagher liam gallagher on mumford and sons i'll leave you
Starting point is 01:00:55 with this one everyone looks like they've got fucking knits and eat lentil soup with their sleeves rolled up i'm sure they're all nice lads but that's not for me they look like fucking amish people i need my music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit fucking dangerous. Dangerous. Fuck, yeah. Alright, Frankie, congratulations. Congrats, Frankie.
Starting point is 01:01:14 The escape room is going to be so sick. It's going to be really hard, too. No, he's never going to escape. Alright. Anything else, boys? Anything from the voices, Jer? Anything else? Any parting shots?
Starting point is 01:01:29 Steven, I feel confident. 8 o'clock tonight, your presentation goes live. Five tool player. Yep. Asian. Yeah. The man. Okay, hope so.
Starting point is 01:01:42 Steven Chet. Good luck, Chet. Good luck. It's in God's hands now. It's true. And the fans. Mainly the fans. Let's get some upvotes on that video.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Maybe Che Hive commenting. Che Hive commenting. Che Hive. I want to see all the Che Hive in that Dave Portnoy show episode. Hire Che. Hashtag hire Che. Should we get it trending? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:02 Tomorrow? We'll trend it tomorrow. You want to trend that? We'll trend it tomorrow. Hire Che trend that? We'll trend it tomorrow. Hire Che. Yeah, let's trend that shit. Is there a better... We're going to need your main account though, Seth.
Starting point is 01:02:11 We're going to need access to it. Of course. Well, you're not going to get access. No. We're going to need access. We're going to need full access. We're going to need you to turn over the passwords. It's all your accounts.
Starting point is 01:02:21 The only person that has access is Owen. Owen has access. Oh, I have access to your... You do not have access to my account. To what, your Twitter? Yeah. Owen gave it to me. There's no way. You haven't seen the tweets?
Starting point is 01:02:39 I delete them fast enough. I would know. There's no way. Caucasian James would have told you. He would have. Yeah. Caucasian James knows everything about Barstool. I love him.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Why don't we hire him? He tweeted at me yesterday and was like, I saw Bryce Hall's in the office. Why don't we hire him? Or has he got his own gig? I think he does. What the fuck? Yeah, what's he up? Why can't he just do, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:03:00 He can do two gigs. Yeah, two gigs. He lives in LA, for starters. Yeah, so? Barstool LA. Learned at Barstool. So does Coop, brother. Learned at Barstool. Didn't Barstool ever go to the Fl gigs. Yeah, two gigs. He lives in L.A. for starters. Yeah, so? So what? So does Coop, brother. Didn't Barstool go to the Flames?
Starting point is 01:03:08 Yeah, it did. But we tried. Manchester United legend Paul Scholes is getting roasted over a bizarre video where he's sucking on his 20-year-old daughter's toes. Oh. Jesus. Jerry? Wow.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Jerry. Why videotape it, Jerry? Put up the video or no? Why videotape it, Jerry? Put up the video or no? Why videotape it, Jerry? Jerry's going to want to see that. Are we planning to put up the video or no? It's on BarstoolSports.com. Go check it out.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Pull it up. You want to get a reaction? Jerry, what do you think about this? I want to see it. Jerry is a feet guy. He's biting her toenail. That's okay. That ain't weird.
Starting point is 01:03:43 He's doing a toenail thing. That's way worse. I don't know. He's doing a toenail thing. That's way worse. I don't know. There's no sexual act in that. No, that's not. It's weird, but. Wow, that's so weird. What is that?
Starting point is 01:03:54 Typical Mank. Typical Mank. That's fucking Mank. Look at his face in the first picture. Why not? No way. That's his fuck face. That's so weird.
Starting point is 01:04:04 That's like his fuck boy pose. Oh, that That's his fuck face. That's so weird. That's like his fuck boy pose. Oh, that is his fuck boy pose. Okay, that's more weird. That's his daughter. That's his daughter's more weird. That looks like he's trying to get... Kyle, that is the face you make in the mirror. I know, and I look at him.
Starting point is 01:04:18 You look hot, though. You do. Is that weird? That's weird. I don't think that was that weird. It wasn't that weird? That's weird. I didn't think that was that weird. It wasn't that weird. It's a baby girl. Plus, you know how many pounds he's made?
Starting point is 01:04:37 How many quid? How many quid? He made so much quid. 20 quid. Is there like a drill rap called quid game yet? I want to hear I want to hear
Starting point is 01:04:51 an age hop on that Yeah Big man with quid game Quid game bonkers I don't know I don't know how to rap Got the beef with zonker That's all I've got
Starting point is 01:05:03 That's all I've got Big man's quid game bon Got the beef with Zonker. That's all I've got. Big man's quid game bonkers. Internet beef with Zonker. Is this quid game? This is quid game. Listen. Oh, it's on a UK general play. Zedno Productions.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Big man came with a U. Big man came with the you. Big man, what about you? I came with the quid. Then I gave it back to you. Listen. Let's go. Quick game. Did it for the rivals
Starting point is 01:05:46 Quick game No subtitles Quick game I go hard Quick game Put me up in the yard I don't have my I don't have my drill yet
Starting point is 01:05:54 I got let me I'll work on it I'll have it by the end of the week Listen Big man The subtitles line was good Yeah I just need more bro
Starting point is 01:06:02 I just need more This shit was hot Yeah bro I'll write the quick games I'll write the quick games. I'll write the quick games drill rap. I'll have it by the end of the week. It's the least I could do. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:14 See everyone tomorrow. Thank you, Jerry. You got it. That was good. Outro Music Yankees, obviously. Thank you.

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