The Yak - Steven Cheah Found the FUNNIEST Commercial EVER | The Yak 9-16-24

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Big Cat is fully rested after a rough Saturday at the Wisconsin gameYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For... more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello it's the yack. Welcome in Robac.com promo code yak. Hello it's the yack. Welcome in roback.com promo co-de-scoats roback.com promo co-code yack 20% off. Julio is here again. Oh. Dude I was so nervous. I was so nervous. Juio text me on Friday. And he was like hey I had a blast. Julio is here again. Oh. told me on Friday and he was like, hey, I had a blast. I'm actually gonna be in town still on Monday and Tuesday if you need anyone. I was like, come in, we love having you on. And then I was taping something.
Starting point is 00:00:58 I didn't see him at like 11 o'clock. I went to tape something. I came out, I didn't see him again. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, tape something. I came out, I didn't see him again. I was like, he's not gonna come in. And he doesn't like us. Could that would be an all-time move to be like, hey, I'll come in if you need me? And then I was like, yeah, please come in and then just doesn't show. That would be cool.
Starting point is 00:01:13 You would have held so much power over us. often to want to come here. I don't want to be like thirsty, you know what I mean? You're a great hang guy. I appreciate you're you fit perfectly on this show. I think you're pleasant. Yeah. Thank you everybody. And we need a recap of the full shower. Oh yeah. No, I'm happy to give it. What happened? Did you fuck? I mean, dude look some good hugs for sure. How does the shower work? Are we at a country club? Are we at the house? Where are we? What's the scene? So a good, oh, yeah. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:01:50 I'm gonna give you a fist bone. Why are you gonna give me a fist buzzling? Lucy? Yeah, that's had like a, the host of the shower made a donation to my school in Afghanistan, which was like, really. Your school? Yeah, do you guys know about this? Yeah, yeah, we've.
Starting point is 00:02:12 You have a school? That was your school? No, what? I thought that that was a thing that we can wait you could be you might be a principal of an no no I'm not a principal I just like founded a school in Afghanistan oh my god did you come here just to drop this no dude it's been a it's been going for years like I you know do you do trans curriculum what does that mean like do you do like the trans curriculum yeah do you do it's an alkydea shit oh we haven't quite got Woke a school in Afghanistan. But no, the curriculum is a secular curriculum. How's a football team?
Starting point is 00:02:46 The volleyball team is very good. Well, he didn't ask about that. I don't think they have a football team. But unless you're talking about soccer football, which you're not. But if you were, I think they do play that. No. We were not talking about. team? Potentially. Can we play them? Send Donnie out there to get them gone? The Afghani. That would be like old school, you know, Michigan, how they have all
Starting point is 00:03:09 the most wins all time. If you go back and look from like 1890 to 1910, they would just teach people how to play football then beat them. Detroit one. That's still my favorite. That's still my favorite, the Georgia Tech story is my favorite. We should do that. We should just teach people how to play football around the world and then beat them and just be an undefeated team. Football missionaries. Yeah. That would be like a Billy and Donny when they did the Kenya series actually brought over
Starting point is 00:03:37 like the Rutgers football team. Yeah, right. That's so good. All so. Right. That was so good. All right, so you have a school. Yeah. But how often are you in tou touc with your school? Pretty often. I mean, we send, we send money like every few months that just pays for like the teacher salaries and stuff, but I think we're- Could we donate?
Starting point is 00:03:55 Yeah, what's the list? Oh, we're not going to. You could. it for us though. Local Literacy Project.org. You can feel good about yourself, bro. Will anyone notice? Yeah, like we're very narcissistic people here. Need a name on something. Yeah, we'd be open to making that sort of exchange. If we wanted to make it, because we're building a library, if we wanted to make it the big cat library, it's possible if you wanted that. Okay. The football team went state all by championship rings for him. Wow. That's a guarantee. Brandon will do the play by play every Friday night in Afghanistan.
Starting point is 00:04:30 We might need to teach them how to play for sure. Wait, wait, is it named after you the school? They wanted to do that, but that was insane. Why didn't that they thought my name was spelled to make it like a play on words. They spelled my name wrong, but it was like, I think that was their homage to me, which I appreciate it, but it was unnecessary, you know what I mean? Okay, but anywayteam I don't know but dude they're good. The tigers, the cougars. Oh I don't know I don't know I don't know. I don't know. Now is this urban setting or a remote? The volleyball facility has it's a mixed use facility so there's like a
Starting point is 00:05:16 soccer field and a volleyball the volleyball and volleyball they're good. That make you better. Like literal fucking Taliban guys play in camouflage. They play volleyball in camouflage and they're good. Like Taliban. That advantage? No idea. But it's like intimidating because all of their fans for their team are all also. The talent rooting for a Taliban team? The Taliban team have normal guys on it too, which I found it.
Starting point is 00:05:40 I feel like you kind of like I don't think anyone's calling fouls on the Taliban. Exactly. Right? Yeah. He's like, yeah. It's like when Putin plays off. Okay, cool. Yeah. Has, have you tried, I know that they play volleyball are very good at?
Starting point is 00:05:55 Have they tried playing trampoline volleyball with very confusing rules? Because that actually is a lot of fun. We have that game that we played at Barstool Camp and we still don't know what happened. The trick is you don't jump on the trampolines. Did anyone get let everything go? It's great for the viewer. You never even consider coming up with coherent rules. It's sweeping the nation. All right, so you have a school.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Yeah, so I go back to the showers. hours at a country club? No, it was just a family friends house. It was very nice. My mom came and was included and that was also very nice. Backyard? Yeah. Nice backyard. Manacured lawn? What do we think of their spending on landscaping? I think that there is a solid monthly stipend going towards that. Love that. Okay. That is what I got. Like the hedges and stuff are shaped and everything. Yes. Oh, that's great. We have acreage here in the acreage? Yeah. It's the acre. I would say probably sitting on a maybe one acre pot.
Starting point is 00:06:52 It's good solid. Especially the burbs, you know. Good soft grass. Good soft grass. Oh, what's a grill situation. . you know, in sort of the pool house in the back. Oh, that's all you have. Wow. Wow. I love that. Che is fucking losing it in there.
Starting point is 00:07:07 What are we talking about stone, granite patio? What is it? Oh, yeah, heat resistant. Oh, what about? Ha ha. Of the outdoor furniture, it's a supple, but it's maintained and it's supple and maintained. And manicured, you know, you could tell it that it was brought out and clean for the season and we go away soon as well. When the outdoor furniture could easily pass for indoor furniture, that's when you know. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Okay, I love this scene. They also brought, the host brought her wedding dress out and put it on a mannequin in the back as sort of like to tie off the theme. That seems a little. Okay, that. It worked. Her dress is way better. No, no. Her dress is waited better. Wait, let's put up to a vote.
Starting point is 00:07:53 You guys are all the to. Hey, we don't like that. We don't like that. She was trying to dog your fiance. I'll bring you a party, but you can never afford a dress like this. Yo, no, no, it wasn't like... Yo, fuck this chick! It wasn't like that, it wasn't like, yeah. No, no, no, I know. She was trying to help with you. All right, all right, we're interrupting. So this bitch brought her dress out.
Starting point is 00:08:11 No, no, mom, that thing's ugly. But it still worked nicely as sort of a time capsule to bring the generation. Nah, she was trying to big dogs. That's 100% what happened there. You don't even know that you're too nice of a guy to know know that you're getting big dogs. That's the worst part. He got big dogs! Well, I just showed up at the end. Okay. Me and my pops roll in, dude. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Did you take a quiz, like how well you know the bride type deal? I did that already for her bachelorette. For this one, we did like a Mad Lib's situation, which was fun. Oh, nice. So you were only there for like an hour. sort of moved to Hildog's house to... Oh nice, after party. After party. Were you invited to that? I was.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Whose wedding dress was at that? There were no wedding dress? Okay, so you're back on neutral territory. But now it was solid. There's some cupcakes, which I brought some of the extras. Oh, hey, okay. That was from you? I hope they were good, but everyone wearing like floral, thinks, whites. Not after Labor Day. Yeah, but everybody changed for the second party.
Starting point is 00:09:28 Oh, how big were the wine glasses? Like just huge fucking like, goblets. How nice. How well lit was the backyard is it? Well lit? Yeah. That's a tent. Pathway lighting?
Starting point is 00:09:41 Natural light was pristine and perfect. Of the hanging white bulbs that make it look like. A lot of the trees. Yeah. Like these light bulbs are just here naturally. Yeah. There were a lot of really nice touches. Anyone, anyone ruin the vibe and bring a kid? No kids.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Good. Good. But there was a pool nearby. Good. . Good, good. Did you get any extra gift that you guys like didn't register for that you were like, oh shit? Yeah, which actually, that begs the question. Is it when when there's a shower gift, that's just her gift, right? I don't have any claim to that.
Starting point is 00:10:13 Are you planning on divorcing already? It's both of your gifts. But what if it's like a wedding is getting married. Yeah, yeah. She become one. Wow, wow. She got some patch. She got a couple things, you know? Whoa.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Why don't you go? A high pitch? That's a five-figure high pitch. You got a couple bucks? Well, I'm glad to know, I'm glad to. Right, right. And that goes after marriage as well. Yeah. I don't want to be a grifter, you know, I don't want to be like, well, maybe we can, you know, you know, maybe we can, you know, you're married the good one. All right, cool, cool. That sounds fun. It sounds like beautiful scene. Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a beautiful scene. Yeah, yeah, my heart is full. Yeah, yeah, that. the that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. the try. the the try. the try. the the try. the t November. We're gonna get Mincy's coming dude. Is he actually? I mean we have to figure this out. Yeah. I'd be open to having that workout. I don't want to do that to you. No, that's... Well, we can make him, we can discuss it and the whole dance floor will. I don't, it's about Julio right now, but what was that reaction yesterday when he fell back in his chair?
Starting point is 00:11:28 What was he reacting to? You know what I'm talking about? I don't know. I don't know. There was a long day. Okay. Well, you could play the clip. It was James and Williams dropping a pass Oh, yeah, for a boost. For a boost. Oh.
Starting point is 00:11:45 No! Sorry, you need. We should do that at your wedding. Yeah, we don't need that. We have barely registered it. Break dancing on the couch. Could we get him when the preacher says, everybody stepped now, for ever hold your piece?
Starting point is 00:12:00 We get mince to do that during that part of the wedding? Yeah. We could, we could their their their that during that part of the wedding? Yeah. Yeah. We could, we could theoretically. Chey was in his element yesterday. It's just a tough, tough to be around. Just love and life. Two and oh baby. Yeah, there it is.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Look at his shirt. You put yourself in a bad spot when you have to do that's a lot. Yeah, that stinks. It sucked. It sucked. I thought, Che, I thought you're 0 and 4 on NFL bets. Is that... Oh, he's not always... He cares about the bucks. My bets are say were four and four and we lost the parley, so four and five technically. Jay cares about the box. He cares about what the sideline reporter is wearing. before but when if you went to a marketing meeting for any big corporation and they're like who are we who's our target demographic football fan mail it's just a picture Stephen Shea I caught him multiple times yesterday laughing out loud at commercials commercials are funny like laughing out loud
Starting point is 00:13:03 I was like what are you laughing at? I was like, this commercial is funny. There was a big guy in a little sweater. I don't remember the last time I watched a commercial like that. That intently. When you're dumbfounded watching television, you go, who is the shit for? Yeah. The answer is always Chase. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:17 So are you saying that Che is almost closer to the average the average the average the average the average No, he's not almost. He is. He is the most typical man in like every, whenever they do a poll or anything, they're just going after that guy. Yeah, just because he doesn't have a cynical, cynical bone in his body. He's like everything's pure, you can sell him anything. He is just, he's John Doe. Quintessential American, like, he's a quintessential American, like, you know, 30 to 50 demographic. It's his reaction to that unfrosted movie that should have told us that. Yes, correct. When they wrote that movie and put it on screen, they were like, somebody's going to react exactly like Stephen Chey reacted. Right. Loved it. When they were like, how is the Big Bang the most popular show of America? We always want to.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Where are these millions of Stephen Chase? Right. Right. I've never seen it. Of course you would. Too much what time of this. Yeah. Cornfed, Midwestern mail.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Yeah, he's just, he's everything that's everything that they are lusting after. the product. Yeah. Where am I wrong here? Yeah, I mean, it's a horrific coat. Wait. But this is all he does. Because he, because again, it goes back to the fact that Stephen Chey is intently watching the studio shows.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Who watches the studio shows? No, that's what, any time football's not you. You're locked in. He's locked in. Okay, what commercial did you laugh out loud at? There was something with a big guy in a very tiny sweater and you can see to tell me. It's funny. I wasn't expecting it. It doesn't fit. Did you laugh the first time you saw it or did you laugh? Okay, but you're you're gonna laugh again? If I see it again and I'm not thinking about it and I see a big guy in a tiny sweater, probably.
Starting point is 00:15:08 That's funny. Yeah, that's funny. That's very funny. That's very funny. Big guy, tiny sweater. You see it? Can you fuzzahua. to time. See his tumy. What was, did he get, was the sweater gifted? Did he gain weight?
Starting point is 00:15:25 Did he shrink it? How did this happen, Jack? I don't know, it wasn't following it in the volume on. But you just saw his tummy. So you know, straight up slapstick. Do you know what product it was for? Nope. When you see this with the, you know the Jake from State Farm commercial where he's, his wife calls the backstate farm, is like, who is this?
Starting point is 00:15:48 It's three in the morning. I laugh at that every time. I've got to find this commercial now. Also, this is, you know that commercial. But this is, no, no, no, I know that. The tummy commercial. Yeah. Chase, the idea of a commercial is like you're not going to go out and buy it right away. Chase subconsciously definitely will purchase whatever they're selling by accident. Oh yeah. Exactly. I laugh at the Geico Camel every time I left. So I can't really...
Starting point is 00:16:15 Do you? Yeah, every time. I don't know the last I don't watch commercials, I guess. Right. Right. Yeah. It's just ads on videos. And pretty much. I have some news for you now. But I skip those. I don't like I just make sure not to watch.
Starting point is 00:16:33 There were 10 football games on at this time and he was locked in on the commercial. Ten. Ten foot. He loves the product 100%? So it's not even like, oh we're stuck watching Monday night football and there's a commercial and there's nowhere we can go. You could put your eyes anywhere else in the room and you would be watching football. And he was like this commercial. Gotta, gotta tune it. That's the man. He's so get it. Oh here we go. Oh here we go. I got excited about. Look at him. Look at him.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Look at him. Doesn't even need volume. Apple That's pretty good. You don't even need to know what's going on. Apple did it. He's mad at his wife. She's trunk his sweater. Doesn't fit. I want to get you into some focus groups. Oh my God. It'd be so great. He would give everything's a 10. Yeah. I'm super envious. I know. Because I don't think I like anything. Right. Like I said, it's we've all just been poisoned. Yeah, I think we're in the wrong. Like there's like science laboratories that come up with like the best possible commercial to make people laugh and enjoy. Right. There's way more chase than us. Yes. Which is horrifying. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Or not? It's actually beautiful. The world's just walking around with him. Yeah, because if we did a folks who were like, lame, didn't laugh, don't care. And you just be sitting there giggling, like, that's the winner. Not too bad. Would you guys be happy if you were cast as like a Jake and State Farm, but it just meant you could never do anything again? Yes. How much money you think he makes? A lot.
Starting point is 00:18:20 A million bucks a year probably? Like the the guy who's Jake from State Farm, what I want his life is the question. Right, but like the caveat. No, I think he's in hell. I think he's in hell. He's an NBA also weekend. He's an that's one of my strongest takes I have. Is that guy has the most miserable. I think he wakes up every. Yeah, he's an eternal mascot. Yeah, he'll be perceived. Yeah, he's a human mask. Yeah. Dude, that's sick. No. Because then
Starting point is 00:18:51 people recognize you and then ask for a picture and you're like, what are you known for? I was in, I'm in a commercial. You didn't. to the NBA finals. Jake from State Farmers. He gets to go. That's not him, but it's not him. He's not him. He's not him. He's not to make appearances. He has to make appearances and it's nothing that he earned. Is that minute he asked for more money, State Farms be like, we'll just get another Jake. So it's no, it's Flow from Progressive. Flow from Progressive is locked into this. I would be Flow. Right. What's the AT&T? Doesn't everybody hate Flow?
Starting point is 00:19:34 I don't can't. Yeah, the cannons. Yeah. Yeah. She had a putable leg. She had a putable leg. She had to cover those. Nerved her cannon. It wasn't that the AT&T girl? Yeah, literally. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Yeah. She started standing behind desks during commercials and stuff. Yeah. that's like when they nerfed their tu. They bring her back to earth? I don't know. They flattened her out. That piss me off, yeah. Did you see? It's such a fine line of being upset that they took away the the tits on a cartoon bunny. Like, you can't get that mad.
Starting point is 00:20:15 The tits I was okay with. It was the child bearing hips and the ass. Yeah. understand like if you get too mad people like hold on guy yeah it's it's not only a cartoon but it's technically beastiality yeah and you're like I demand to see this bunnies tits and like what's the lifespan of a rabbit it's also young they have maturity at like maybe two yeah one true yuck it's also not beciality on Moran Mountain dude where where is that's That's where they played a game against the monster. Oh, I should know. True. True. But we didn't play on Moron Mountain, did we? We played here.
Starting point is 00:20:48 The first one you played in Moron Mountain. Yeah, look at that. No, it was here. You're right. You're right. You're all over sex. their tomb. .
Starting point is 00:20:56 . . You know she got it on the low, bro. For sure, for sure. Yeah, it's still under there, right? Yeah. My kids would be able to jump, we'd be able to dunk. Yeah, with her athletic. You're half rabbit children. Yeah. Oh, did you all see Nick's doppelganger? Who? Me?
Starting point is 00:21:17 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. . Seeler's Twitter this weekend. Oh yeah. That ruined my wife. What the fuck? Yeah, this chowed. What a loser. Yeah, that pissed me off.
Starting point is 00:21:30 I love the guy who replied and, yeah. The fact that he is that mad, but then still start out the swear words. That's how you know. Well, that's a man who keeps his values. He's from the most obvious place imaginable. Myrtle Beach. Yeah, you had Steelers fans. That's not me. I also, oh yeah it's not you, whoever this is. Oh, that needs something. I love the Ukraine terrible towel combo. That seems like it would be a a PFT idea if that was this
Starting point is 00:22:05 was my account. Yeah. It would be sick. Yeah you had to steal or Twitter or that person did. That person did yeah. Sorry about a backyard brawl. That was really up 10, 4 minutes left and you, that doesn't matter. Yeah that was an embarrassing though. Yep. For you guys that was an embarrassing though. Yep. For you guys, that was an embarrassing football result. Brandon? Dan? Huh.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Oh, fucking Alabama? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Find me a team that could beat Alabama with her backup. Tuh. Tex. I'm going to tell you this is how I feel. Texas. Someone happened twice, didn't do it.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yeah, but now this back when Newers got hurt and this back McCoy got hurt. But that that's not the 2024. We have status. We have statistical data. Oh and two with their backup quarterback. But that was a different text. The papers. Bama got very lucky that they came into Camp Randall with elite players, a solid game playing, good execution and an opponent with no significant identity.
Starting point is 00:23:09 It kind of sums it up. Wow. They dodged a bullet that one. They're very lucky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:17 That was just, they were like, we hit a field goal. And he just kind of like, look to me, he's like, he doesn't matter. God damn it. That has to feel so good. So good. Yeah, whatever. Just going around the country kicking everybody's ass. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:36 They're, they are modern day Vikings. They just travel around, have the best time, drink all the beer, watch their team win by 40, and they're like, wow, Madison was great. Everyone was such a good hose. Well, there are a bunch of them. No shit, dude, you fucking won by 50. Yeah, there were a ton of them. Yeah, and then I did a beer bong.
Starting point is 00:23:53 How'd you end up that day? How'd you end up that day. people being like, oh, wives could be mad about the person giving the beer bonn. That beer bong was actually my wife's fault because she went to the bathroom with her friends for long enough that I was, I lost all control of, there we go. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. That's not on. So she was gone, she would left for 30 came back, she was, I was with my friends. She's like, what are you guys doing? It's like, I just took a beer ball. Your wife essentially put that down your throat.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Correct. And then I took a shot at a joke that didn't land when I was like, isn't itthink that was as funny. Oh. That's the beer bong. But it was kind of crazy. It's not crazy. It was kind of crazy. I know you can. I know you can.
Starting point is 00:24:51 That's a good, that's a cool feeling. That's a great joke. Sometimes you get shots after a beer bong in like eight beers at 9 30 in the morning. Did she really say that? Yeah, oh yeah. She's gonna love this joke. Yeah. It landed with my friends. It didn't land with the wives. It's all right. It's one of those jokes that are true without a punch like. Yeah, it's just a joke. I could try down any of these jokes. I was like, it's nuts that I could take down any of these chances. And even saying take down any of these chicks. And even saying take down, that's an insulting. Yeah, take down is such a considerable way to say.
Starting point is 00:25:27 I did the same to Pat and Eagles tailgate. I was like, you know, I would blow most of these guys. And a lot of them would say no. And you like that too. Well, I mean, she knows the truth and I've said it before. I come too fast to ever cheat. Because it would just be, I do. It would be, it would be, not only did I cheat and like, then it'd be like, oh, he cheated, but then the girl would be like, and he lasted 20 seconds.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Yeah, it's not worth it. Yeah, it's the embarrassment. Yeah. And also the tr trading that? You can get so much cheating done though with a fast you bust. Oh, yeah, yeah, but I was I was in hell. I texted you guys at 1030. I was like this is I there at 930 it was like 915 okay my 1030 I was hammered and I was just like if you I'd pay a million dollars for like a dark cold room right now basically I would just if you could find me a meat locker I would have just laid down have you ever gotten to fight in the crowd like with a with whoever's on the opposing team now No, it's so low grade. Yeah, we're classier than that. Yeah, okay. Also we're pussies. Yeah
Starting point is 00:26:52 But yeah, it's totally because we're just classier. Yeah. I apologize when my team scores the touchdown. Yeah. I'm gonna get in a fight with the Taliban. Yeah, I'm gonna get in a fight with the Taliban when I go to your volleyball. Oh dude, don't recommend. They'll love you over there, dude. They love Brandon? They love Brandon? They would, yeah. Just because he's so obviously not from there that they would just be like, oh dude, he's an alien. That's a pretty good Taliban impression. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. Oh, shit, man. Yeah, that's how I picture them.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Dude, come over here. Oh, then they would try to convince you they're doing a good job, which is impossible and like insulting. And you're just like, okay, we're great. Okay, dude. Can we send one of us to the Boys Town shower competition this week? What? I've seen that. I've seen the flyer. Yeah, there we go.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Oh, I mean Malisek? Malysek. $100 first place? Not bad. What is this? What is this? Shower? What?
Starting point is 00:27:58 What is this? Shoom? You just take a shower? I believe it's every Wednesday. What's the shower on stage? They have a drain up there? I think so. Wait, I don't think this is a contest at all. What do you mean? Oh, is it shower contest? Mmm.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Oh, it's who has the shower contest or shower? Oh, it's who has the shower. the wheel Wait, is it a shower contest or shower? Oh, it's on a shower What if it's a show? Well, no because that just looks like a waterfall bottom? I think that's just an erotic photo it might just be has the biggest soft dick. Yeah, it also could be a shower contest. Yeah, it that gets up there and says he's a shower and you were just, I'm just, you're like, No, you're not. You're not. You're not. I know that for a fact.
Starting point is 00:28:50 I hate it when I try to go to a shower contest. I end up at a shower contest. You only get a hundred bucks for the biggest packer, that's not. but you can't. Also, gay dudes just have figured everything out. Like, what it? Like, we... I'm gonna go to the bar. Yeah, that's straight people go to the bar. And like, the best night you could have at the bar is you play like, I tag with a chick across the bar. They're just like, hey, come to this it. Let's get right. God damn it, they figured it all out. Like a chick singing along to the song you picked out on touch tunes. It counts as a body. Oh dude, I had a great Friday night.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I kind of grazed up on a chick's tit with my elbow. It was so awesome. Yeah, they figured it out. Yeah, they's a shower. Fuck it. Sick. We have a towel whipper, expert. I feel like some people would do really well at this thing. Yeah. I should go get them, yeah, off the say. I should just go whip gay guys.
Starting point is 00:29:53 That's what you're making a significantly more there. Yeah. That's your second source of income. You're making like significantly more there. Damn, dude. Ready for the Wet Fest Night of the Week. I don't know if a hundred bucks is enough. Hosted by Jonathan.
Starting point is 00:30:14 I didn't see all to do Janit. Oh, that's awesome. I gotta want to meet Jonathan. I want him in. That's the gayest name. That's the gayest name. Jan. Should we call and see if it's a shower or shower contest?
Starting point is 00:30:36 John Nathan. Yeah. Janathan. Yeah. He introduced himself. He's like Jonathan but just really gay. Oh, Janathan. That's awesome. Maybe it's a quiet dick smashing contest. Shhh. Oh yeah. More of that came from it.
Starting point is 00:30:56 There it is. I hate myself. You might have to go watch this Kate. I would. Yes. You should report back. Yes actually go. I have no idea what this will be. I feel like. I feel like I'm no idea what this will be. I. I feel like. I'm have to go watch this, Kate. You should have to report back. Yes, actually go. I have no idea what this will be. I feel like I'm non-threatening enough. They'd think I was just like a bus boy there or something. Oh, wait. I don't know what I'm looking at. That a dude under that cloak.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Oh, thereE.W. Man. That's crazy. Stripper bingo. Like I said, they just do it all. They just cut out the middleman. Yeah, they just, it's just everything. We're going to get naked. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:31:35 to come on down. Stripper by Jose. That is it looks a little bit like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the middleman. Yeah, they just it's just every we're gonna get naked Yeah, right come on down. Posted by Jose That is it looks a little bit like the Dominican KB I'm just saying Oh, huge compliment. Thank you. Yeah, I like him You're probably more shredded in the med section though. He's let out no no no We love getting out to live events, whether it's concert, football game, comedy show. We always use Game Time official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You know much we love Game Time Picks now with the brand new GameTime Picks feature. They're making even easier to get to a game.
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Starting point is 00:32:48 Did you guys see? The Rizzler has a new trick shots? Not trick shots. Trick's on his bike. Oh no. Yeah, let's see that. I tweeted it. It's.
Starting point is 00:33:03 He does a four-leaf clover. What would you guys think a four-leaf clover trick on a bike is? All right. Quick loop like, r- Wrong. It doesn't even four of something? Wrong. Okay. Okay. This is just ride the bike in a pattern of a four-leaf tree. None of you guys can even imagine what a four-leaf clover is. In the air, the bike spins around.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Not even close. See the Rizzlers doing that? Not even close. Let's see the four-leaf clover you guys are going to be. I'm going to show you how I do my bike tricks. Yep, there's one. There's one. That was one hand, Brandon. He's not even good at that. Yeah, the no-hander, probably the no-hander.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Look at that. Look at that. He touch his ear. Ready? Four-leaf clover time. Bang! Bang! Bang! Yeah, look now, now he's got everyone doing the four-leaf clover.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Do we still have a bike here? Look at this. It's still a kid, Brandon. Don't. Look at that, four-leaf clover, whole gang. All right, I think it's probably hard. I think he fucking sucks. Yeah, that was bad. Do we have a bike? Rizzlears with Mr. Beast right now? What? Rizzler's with Mr. Beasts? That's one of the Pauls right there, right? Mr. Beast and KSI. I. Having met AJ in Big Justice, I came around to them and I was like, well, this is actually pretty cool. I think I'm going to keep my distance to the Rizzler though. I, I don't. Him, like, or his, like, his circle. Whoever's pushing it, yeah, I'm just not... Why? Somebody told that kid he was actually doing bike tricks. Dude, he's seven. Seven is when you can ride a
Starting point is 00:34:51 bike the best. He's not seven, it's like 11, right? He invented the four-leaf clover, he's nine? Yeah, and nine, that's when your bike trick peak. Yeah, we start, you should be hitting ramps. Yeah. You sound like a guy's never done a four-leaf clover. He seems to get the irony to some degree. You think the Rizzler gets the eye. I don't know. I don't know about that true. I think he's really good. I think he does.
Starting point is 00:35:16 I've heard him speak. I think he has a better chance of like retaining that fame as an adult. I think he'll be a funny adult. I think he's doomed as an adult. I think other child stars. What if he grows up and like becomes skinny? I think you'll always look funny. Don't you think? I don't think he'll be able to do the four leaf clover. I think I don't think you guys are a 19 year old doing a four leaf clover. I don't think they're getting horseshoe curve. It's a horseshoe theory because an old man doing a four leaf clover. Hell yeah. So in 80 years, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:52 He's going back around? How are you guys watching the four leaf clover? Is he ten? Look at that? He's probably seven turning eight. For that age. No it's's not. No, it's not. That sucks.
Starting point is 00:36:06 At no point is that a good true. And that makes me doubt how good the baseball player you scout it is. For that age, that is decent. No. Okay. No, it's no. Second grade. I couldn't do it now. You're like an expert bike rider at nine years old. Again, how would the Taliban react to that?
Starting point is 00:36:25 Radical, brah. They might be impressed because I'm not sure how many bikes they have. Again, let me ask you a simple question. Have you ever in your life done a four-leaf clover? I don't guess I have. Once again, as you're watching something, you're like, who the fuck watches this is almost like fine art. You see like some minimalist art in a museum. You're like, I could do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:47 But you didn't. Yeah. And you never have. Yeah. So we got a whole room of people that have never done. So this is more fine art than a stunt. Right. OK. Yeah, I can get on board with that.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Real tricks had to exist. His... It's a kid, Brandon. His no hand was going... Like that. Yeah, that's not no hands. But I think it's... I think if we've paused on the video. That's switching hands. Let's capture it with no hands. No hands.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Yeah, definitely a moment where he had no hands. Come on, T.J. Please, Tjee, please TJ, please TJ, I need this. Did you switch sides in this argument at some point? I do every, every argument. Every side. Wait, that's sick. Okay. Down.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Up, down. Oh, shit. He is firmly grabbed. He always has a hand. Oh, he's gripping tight. Damn it's. Damn it. Fuck. That was just, that wasn't no hands.
Starting point is 00:37:52 That was just a one-hand combo. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. He just did a combo on the one-hands. I had a, I had a moment this weekend where I, um, panic attack is too strong. It's too strong. But it was yesterday. Toledo went into Mississippi State and whooped you? No, I was dead inside for about 24 hours after that. But yesterday it was time to grill. So I went and I got my
Starting point is 00:38:14 grilling stuff. And so I went by Aldi because they have my connecassage and I like so I was in Aldi and I had some dill dip, some Conneca sausage, and then some hamburger buns. And I'm in line and an adult or a mom, wherever they were in the store, they were not around me. I was about fourth in line at Aldi, which the line at Aldi is already like a third world country. Oh, Aldi's incredible how they tough place. The line in Aldi's a scary line. It's a scary line. Explain it Aldi to them though.
Starting point is 00:38:47 You go up to, you go to Aldi, they don't have, they, they don't have aisles or bags. It's all. You have to do the entire store. Yeah. You also got to pay like a open floor? It's a snake that you go around. Only go in one way, you have come out one way. You have to go through the whole store. Okay so once you're in, you're in. Now I'm in line and there's a hot it out, you're right. There's like a top of his or her lungs and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming. I'm third in line and I have three items and it got so bad this has never
Starting point is 00:39:30 happened to me it got so bad I said I audibly said I said I said it I audibly said I said it's I audibly said it's that that that mom was was way across the store I said it so the woman in front. I said it, no, that person, that mom was way across the store, and it's not a big store, way across the store. I said it so the woman in front of me can hear it and she says, I heard that and I left, and I have no idea why she was southern. What? But just maybe in the retailing, and I was southern. then I went out And you went back in? And I went back in. And I picked my stuff up where I put it down and I bought my stuff.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Wait, so all me up nor? It was in Anyhawk. I was beating my son. Okay, yeah. And then all the people there yesterday. That's crazy. But I have, I've had, I have four kids and I can usually handle kids in public spaces, but I just, it was a screaming to the level I was, I rarely heard and I couldn't stay in that building anymore. That was a Toledo loss.
Starting point is 00:40:29 No. Yeah, they're one in the day that you, you think the whole weekend was just I think. Because I did the same weekend as you and like everything's frayed a little or you're just like, ah, fuck. Is that what I am? I'm everything. Why do I? Why do I? Why do I? You think I'm fucking afraid? Yeah. You think because Mr. State lost a fucking Toledo. I'm bothered. It's one of the worst parts about being a sports fan that you have those moments where you realize why the fuck does a bunch of 19 year olds losing a football game make me have to leave an Aldi? I have the why do I care so much thing about three times. Correct. I had the worst. Had that this weekend. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:41:14 And we shouldn't. No, it didn't snap on anybody this weekend. I, uh, no I didn't. Yeah, I stayed snap free. I, I, yeah, no snapping. Have you ever cared so much you like message to coach that you knew they weren't gonna see it but you're like, I have to tell them how I feel. I just getting arguments online. That's how I co-yeah. Yeah, all, the, having such a significant, you know, figure online, they find you now and my entire DMs, Mississippi State losing is now just a waging war in my DMs at all times. So I don't really have to go out searching for an outlet. The outlet comes to me. Yeah, after the Bears lost on Sunday night, I just twea that fucking sucked and then
Starting point is 00:41:59 I looked back at the tweet. tweak, I had like 700 replies they were all nasty replies so they just go they flock yeah but it would no I I don't know why the kid yelling made me freak out oh that's abysmal stimuli yeah yeah but I think it's because no I'm I think yeah because I think normally you'd be sympathetic because I bet you've been in that position position. I am simple. No, no, I've never been in that position. I've been in a position where my kids yell in public and I immediately have, I get them out of there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:28 I bail out quick. I was always a quick bailer out. We're sitting down at a restaurant, they start yelling. We're out. I'll just leave cash onass kid to do that. I just do the, I do the, I look at the menu before and like when the person seats us, I'm like we're going to put in an order right now. So we go to dinner for like 15 minutes. Do my servers like that or dislike that?
Starting point is 00:42:57 I don't know. I don't you just do a better job raising your kids? My kids learned early that if they make any noise at dinner, they can't eat. What? I don't let the kids eat if they make noise at dinner. Oh, my kids aren't allowed to talk. Do you use the tablet trick? Do you just stick a tablet hold out until after they're done and it's like I want to eat. Give me five minutes. There you go and then we leave. I tablet parents are something I would have to judge before having kids. Oh my god. I would I now have backup tablets. Yeah everyone. When I buy my son, my youngest son a ttablet, because I know his older brothers are gonna take it and it's gonna get broken,
Starting point is 00:43:46 I buy two tablets at a time. Wow, Moses, is that right? Yeah, yeah. Parenting basically is the Mike Tyson quote, everyone got the plan until they get punched in the mouth. Because you, anyone who's before, I was that person where I was like, yeah, my kids won't do this, they won't do that. It's like, no, no, they'll do it all. And you're gonna have to deal with it. Like, that's, it's all happening. Yeah, you get punched in the mouth and you're like,
Starting point is 00:44:10 all right, here's an episode of Spider-Man. Mm-hmm. So, it was getting punched. Yeah, of it. There you go. Did you guys have how the fuck am I going to do this anxiety before you had kids? No, I just dove in and did it. When you look like me and she says come get it you just do it and deal. Okay, come get it. Then you deal with the consequences later and I had a bunch of consequences. No, I had it when my oldest came home from the hospital and it was like, wait, no one
Starting point is 00:44:47 told us what to do. That happens, yeah. Jesus. And then babies are just, they just, here's the thing, Julia, you'll probably fail. Yeah. that's their faullain, theylil, you'll probably fail. that's a thiau. You're gonna stand school, live your life. That would be way more fulfilling. Yeah. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Having the school is a good backup. If your kid acts up over here, just send them back. Afghan school. See, you're going, you think first grade's bad? Just wait a kid. Get ready to learn volleyball. With the Taliban. Can we get them uniforms?
Starting point is 00:45:21 Uh, probably. Probably. I want a Taliban jersey. Yeah, you want to. We have one upstairs. We do. Anytime sales is walking people up there, they like prep the people before they get to the ANIS. I get embarrassed. They're like you're about to see a bin Laden jersey in there hanging on the wall. We have to turn that around. I don't, I don't even like. Is that the jersey apology? I apologize for? Oh we have Riley Cooper, have ashes up there. Oh boy. Dead person's ashes. Oh. When you hear it out loud. When I sit in there I'm cozy but I'm so, there's a body in there. At least your studio doesn't get used for a lounge, a waiting room. Who does that?
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, this is becoming a problem. Apparently when you guys watch on Sunday and you take up all the seats, there's overflow that now goes into mostly, and they just leave their food, they leave their drinks. We don't know. I didn't have my chair. We had three, two chairs stolen, we had Pepsi, we had popcorn just left in there. And looking, they were in spots, we're looking at our TVs. I don't know who it would have been. I don't know, we'll have to figure it out. I think TJ is gonna leave a camera next week. Nice.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Just put some traps. Booby trap your studio. We should do that. Do a glue traps. Yeah, and then we just come back and and I'm in a mince-ar and feathered. White boy Rick is just All fours sitting there gnawing through his ankle trying to get out of the glue t sense. It would have been him. Can you hear the Mostly Studio from there? If you yell loud enough? I guess we yell loud enough, yeah. That's weird. There's more than enough space to watch games. I know.
Starting point is 00:47:14 And there's also an entire upstairs. There's a lot of places to watch games here. Maybe people are like using that as the place to do drugs and shit. The most thing is the compliment. It's the make out room here. We're cool guys. Yeah. You know, they just want to hang in our aura. I think they respect you. They want to be in that environment. It's got to be what it is.
Starting point is 00:47:30 They respect. They respect. Yeah. That's great. They're a mess. That's respect. Yeah, that's the highest form of stealing somebody's chairs. What about Jack? That shirt. Is it Dale? Oh, there is a Dale shirt.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Go, go take it from him. She's gonna beat his ass and take the shirt. Ask once. Jump him and beat his ass. What if we have like a prison system here for cool clothes? Like if you're a weak little bitch your outfit's gonna get to I like that. Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah. Start fighting every day. Speaking of I think Chey's a little close to my style today if we're just just being honest. Let me see Chez. Oh yeah. We're all we all have our own style here. You know we all have It is a little he's it's a little close. That's his I've had the shirt for years. Yeah, this is Monday His victory Monday. He's got to wear a bucks shirt on victory Monday There's no bucks. Wait, say do you not wear bucks logos on that shirt? The hardest time do you wear your team's colors is after a bad loss. Yeah, that's the one the true fans.
Starting point is 00:48:46 That's when they need to put this hat on today? No. Fuck no. I wear buck stuff all the time. Sounds like a fair weather fan. Yeah. Kyle, your jets. Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Yeah. like that you saw. Braille and Allen. Any other year we lose that game. Brail and Allen, Badger. He's a beast. Yeah. 17 years old. Do you want to know the crazy stat? 17? Sit on PMT, this one will blow your mind. Yeah, please.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Brailant and Allen scored a touchdown yesterday. He was the youngest player to score in the NFL in almost 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 to to to to to to to to to 239 days. The last youngest person to do it was in 1930, a guy named Arne Herber. Such a 1920s name. Yeah, great. When he scored his first touch on the NFL, he was 20 days, 20 years old, 239 days. That's crazy. Whoa. I love stats. That is crazy, right? The exact same age to the day. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:49:50 That is, yeah. I like that. I was looking at stats today about how historically bad the white socks are. Yeah. Their win percentage is worse than Lou Gehrig's on base percentage when he had his own disease. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah Parkinson's patient. Oh my god. Oh, what?
Starting point is 00:50:09 Panthers bench Bryce Young. Whoa. Is that real? Of course, right? Is he not? He plays like he's okay. Andy Dalton has to go in last year for the Hail Marys, right? Wait. for the Hail Marys, right? Wait, 277. Our quarterback doesn't sound like he is.
Starting point is 00:50:26 No. Hmm. Yeah, he technically is. He is a quarterback. That's the most Andy Dalton looking, Andy Dalton's ever looked. There's nothing worse than a coach. Because I just know, you know, Lovey Smith, when he would say like Rex is our quarterback.
Starting point is 00:50:44 It's a disaster. They're not our quarterback. It's a disaster. You don't say that sentence. You don't ask Andy. If you know you have a quarterback. Yeah. That only happens when it's just the worst possible situation. And when you're benching him and he's not hurt, you're uh, Bryce Young. What do you do today? How do you carry yourself? What's your mindset? Hit the gym, bro? I don't know. He's very religious, is he not?
Starting point is 00:51:11 Yeah, he said that he, they asked him about his confidence, and he said I have confidence in the Lord. Yeah. That's when you know it's over. It's like, dude, I gotta break it to you. I don't think God cares about the NFL. No. No. I don't think God is doing a 12-team parley on something. Saying I have confidence in the Lord and getting a bitch 24 hours later is pretty much the
Starting point is 00:51:33 Lord saying, no, yeah. No, the Lord's saying, I don't got you. You're alone. You're alone. Yeah. The Lord's telling the Lord is telling him that all struggles are fleeting. You know when there was one footstep in the sand, it was just you Bryce. God comes to you, he's like, hey man, you're alone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Yeah, no, that's that's tough for him. I mean, he's. He's got money, but he doesn't have the second contract money. He has to hate CJ Strail. Yeah. He is 37.9 million dollars should be okay. Should be okay. Yeah, but he loves football man. That's his passion. Things about taxes.
Starting point is 00:52:10 They could be a backup agent fees. Was he the unanimous number one pick that year? No. No, it was it was a discussion. It was the C.J. Stroud had that that test that turned out to just not be real. It was like a fake wonderlick. It was like a cognitive test and he scored historically low on it. And then it came out after that like if you don't finish the test you can score obviously very low and he just I don't think he just I think he just stopped taking it. Oh okay,
Starting point is 00:52:36 that's cool. Yeah. So yeah that was that fucked them. It's one thing to like miss on a first round pick but then to like give up what was it two first two seconds? Yeah. Yeah and also give up 18 games into it? Bad. Yeah, but they're I think he's their who's their like best player? Um, like would he be good on the other team? He has some defense. Greg Olson? Yeah. Greg Olson or? It's probably starbo Hubbard.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Yeah, where's he? Yeah, look at those recruiting rankings, D.J.U is. Yeah, where's he? You just never, these are just the non, this isn't all the quarterbacks, right? I remember Hudson Card. Going to Jackson by the way, is a running back now. Hmm. At Arkansas. Keep scrolling. I want to see if there's anyone else.
Starting point is 00:53:40 Oh, the best ones are way down there. It's um... Haynes King. Two guys are in the pros now, but they're way, way, way now. Oh, Anthony Richardson. Chubbipurdy? That's cool. Jay Butterfield. This might not be the class I was thinking about.
Starting point is 00:53:58 No, these guys all stink. Yeah. That's pretty damn cool. All right. Max Johnson, that's the son of one of our fellow Fridays. And Dyke. Well, that's pretty cool. What?
Starting point is 00:54:14 Brad Johnson? Oh. We know him. Hey, Will Rogers. Yeah. That's tough for Bryce Young. In short. Yeah, on top of all that to add salt in the wound.
Starting point is 00:54:32 I guess it will help him in the long run that he's short because no one will look at him and say did you play ball? They won't say he had all the tools. Right. But I'm saying you've got none of the tools. Right. Because he doesn't have... But I'm saying you did none of the tools. In 20 years when he's just in the regular public, no one's like, oh shit man, you must have played ball. Correct. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, at least he has that. But also, Jamarcus Russell has to live with, you know, when they talk about gonna say, yeah, we missed on that one. And that'll be a very short discussion. Yeah, you almost can't even blame him. He did do the cutest little hop pass yesterday
Starting point is 00:55:09 and try to throw it over a defensive lineman. I didn't see it how to work. Yeah, it was literally jumped up. It's so cute. Oh, would doubt play better if he was if he was on the chiefs Right, right. Yes Just because he would have a good coach. I think he's had three different offensive coordinators in 18 games Which is that's impossible. Yeah, it's tough. Huh. He's never taken a snap in the fourth quarter with a lead
Starting point is 00:55:40 Some franchisees are just destined to have pretty quarterback play, you know? Yeah, it just kind of happens. It doesn't matter. Who they plug in there, they just can't figure it out. Ain't worried. Nope, don't worry. No, no, no, everything's good. Well, like what do you want to quarterback? Do you want them to have touchdown passes? Yeah. Overrated. Overrated. Overrated. Overrated. Touchdown passes. Don't need them.
Starting point is 00:56:09 You don't get points for the game's move beyond that. Yeah. Yeah, with how good kickers are these days. They are too good. You don't need touchdowns? No. Just get it past midfield. That's points, the barides.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Are the bears going to have to have going the to have going to have going the to have going to have the gonna have the new stadium is that gonna happen? No, they're just gonna flirt with it forever I make fun of you, but like the Steelers have more wins than touchdowns as well Yeah, their quarterback has is playing well. Okay. Yeah, it's he's playing he's been good. He's been good. I've really every snap of the second half yesterday well I mean did I say he was all pro he's been better than Caleb well I mean he's better than Caleb way better he doesn't have the worst offensive line ever that is that's pathetic he got killed that's crazy hell bad that situation got for Caleb so fast listen I defended Justin Fields for three years. Give him three years.
Starting point is 00:57:07 I'll still do it, I'll do it to my grave. There was like a six by six foot mural of his face in the temporary office. I still have one in my, in the funeral. If you live to 80, you're not going to be defending Justin Fields. No, I will. I defended Justin Fields. His honor. His honor was... His honor was... I never said he'd be great. Just that he was... I said good, there's a difference. People were putting words in your mouth and it's sick. I said he belonged on an NFL roster. So since you're so patient with quarterback. is there any point this year where you panic? I'm gonna try not to panic this year. Okay, cool. I
Starting point is 00:57:48 didn't panic, which I was still all in on Justin Fields halfway through last year. Panic You panic as if it comes to his health, because he got rock. Oh yeah, no, I'm panicked about that. I think he might just, yeah. So where is some like a star slash good quarterbacks who had a very bad rookie year? Peyton Manning. That's what everyone loves to do. They're like, did you know Peyton Manning through three interceptions? So it just pretty much. How many?
Starting point is 00:58:13 28? Yeah, that's everyone's like, well, Peyton Manning was really bad. Was there, were people clam't think so. Yeah, you got to show flashes of being good, though. Yeah, it's two games and I think the first couple drives last night he did show this. Yeah, we're fine, I think. That's what I keep saying. You're fine. I think. I'm I feel fine. I think That makes sense. Yeah. I want to do the Draft Kings read Huh, Brandon Do I? Yeah, you do. TD tuddy taking it to the house in for six whatever you call a touchdown one the ground, in the air from the special teams of defense, we don't care how they score them, we want to bet on touchdowns, and Draft King's Sportsbook
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Starting point is 01:00:31 Oh The guy the Jersey Boy? Yeah. Yeah. It's older than the week. Yeah, well, yeah, he's like 90. Do you see, have you seen him in concert, like the clips from him in concert? Oh, I didn't see it.
Starting point is 01:00:54 He's an animatronic. Is he still good? Wait, are you talk beginning of the song. Like a little Richard, how many seconds of the song can you play? Is he doing this because he like wants to or he can't afford his missing home if he. All right, just do the part where he, here the him beginning to sing he's singing the head still yeah oh wait go back wasn't as bad as I thought right there he is an animatronic he's not actually singing no of course it's not singing oh shit oh it's crazy how are they still selling tickets for this he is an animatronic he's an animatronic he's stiff as out yeah oh my
Starting point is 01:01:44 he doesn't oh my god I don't know I found that so funny but it is the internet for me the internet for me right now is just moopang who Who is that? The new hippo in Thailand. Oh! The one who bites the knee. Mupang loves to bite. Fell us. I would like to see Mupang.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Is it Mou-Pang? Yeah. Oh yeah, Moupang's on hot ones. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know So this hippo doesn't actually eat vegetation yet, it's just mimicking its mom. Oh shit. That's adorable. She's got an attitude.
Starting point is 01:02:32 It means like, like, bouncy pig or bouncy pork or something like that. It's very cute. After West Virginia lost a pit, I was so thankful for Moodang. I want to see more Moodang. Is this what all baby hippos look like or is this like a special one? That's a pygmy. That's a pygmy. That's actually pig. Is he going to grow? I think but like if it stayed that size I think that would be the number one house pet in America. Yeah. God that. Oh, yeah. There's tons. There's countless.
Starting point is 01:03:07 That thing's going to grow up to be a fearsome killer. But it's overwhelming the zoo. Oh, look at that. Four-leaf clover. Oh, it's doing four-lose. Dang. Oh, so the mom sits right now. Uh-huh. I'm not alone. Is he getting water boarded? Is that what's happening?
Starting point is 01:03:33 It does look like a hippo dog, doesn't it? Yeah. I kind of want one of these. If they just never grow. Yeah, we could get one of the back. We just had a tiny baby hippo. There will be breeders who try to figure out how to get a hippo to stay that size forever and then make billions of dollars. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:03:52 This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Oh, hmm. There's the deceptical mmm. Who was the skeptical? Was that you, Julio? No. I think it's cute. No, I think it's cute. You made a skeptical, hmm. I went, hmm. No, you didn't go, hmm, it wasn't a positive, it was a skeptical, hmm. No, I don't recall feeling that way, at least to clarify. We should get Julia, a baby hippo for his wedding gift.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Oh, we should get, yeah. You think they have snuggly? I would, I mean that thing's slippery. I thought adult hippos are supposed to fuck you up. They're like the list. But they got more people than anybody, right? But that one right, I mean that video he just showed is like the guys. Zah, is not your biggest fear in the zoo? Oh yeah. Besides a Kamala victory then hippos. We're doomed. Make the graphic. Oh. Nice.
Starting point is 01:04:50 It might be stupid though. Yeah, it looks very dumb. It looks kind of dumb. A-less celebrity. Well, what, when this hippo grows a little bit, the celebrity is all gone. But look at the mom, it's not like the Rizzler. That's the celebrity is all gone like is it look at the mom It's like the Rizzler that's the real have a drug problem it has the same exact yeah exactly Puberty will not be kind to it
Starting point is 01:05:11 Yeah, I'm try to try to try no, but I'm open to doing that you the pygmies just get high as hell all day. I've heard a lot of weed. Yeah, I'm definitely interested. Who are the pygmies? Like the really short African tribe? And are they like one of those tribes that have no contact with the outside, those are crazy? Yeah. That's a different, I don't even. Yeah, we're like a missionary we'll just go get like a arrow. Yeah, they'll get an arrow to their heart. They did? On that like Indian island? I don't know if it was the island, but somewhere in the Amazon, a tribe killed two loggers. Two loggers or two vloggers? Loggers, but vloggers wouldn't be knocking. That is confusing.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Yeah, got it. They would love the yak. I know they've shot everybody else that tried, but like, it's different. Killing two lagers and killing two vloggers, two totally different experiences. Totally, totally. Yeah, the lagers I feel bad about, the vlogers I would not. At all. Did you be a logger of lager? You could review beer. What a hack. dude who yes that's a thing. Oh he's the sexual one that's all the Brits it Bradley Bradley like he like drops down a tree and then he cooks meat on it you
Starting point is 01:06:27 broke this guy no no miss me with that lumber jack that that was you a ton he like splits the log he's like you've been so bad. Oh my god. How much weight you guys think I need to lose to look Primo for my wedding photos? 35, 40 pounds? Fucking shit ton. How much you wear? How much you wear? How much?
Starting point is 01:06:55 to? We have a scale. Would you like to weigh? Can I take the shirt? to weighing my thing. What do you think you're about to weigh? Two, 18? Ah, where is it?
Starting point is 01:07:09 Dude, I know. What's your ideal weight? Like, 1, 90? Oh, 1. Oh, 1. Oh, the. I look good, but I sometimes don't have a grasp of what it looks like. I think just stay, just be fat. I think actually you get fatter. Fatter. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Because then everyone will see the wedding pictures in the see you and be like, damn you look good now. That guy doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Is your fiance, like dieting and doing all that stuff? pretty good. I don't think, I think she's probably, she's keeping an eye on it, I would imagine. Yeah. Are you making sure she does? No, but I was. Wait, no, you gotta do it on the hard court. Rug won't give you the... Yeah, I need the proper reading.
Starting point is 01:07:53 All right, so 190 is what you want to be? Like, I mean, I don't... Brandon's showing off. No, I'm not. 219, I would guess, with fully clothed. Wait, turn off the court. Mike, TJ. What would be a weight right now that would make you be like, guys, I don't really want to do the show anymore, I'm going to go home? Uh, man, 225. How tall are you?
Starting point is 01:08:21 Six feet? How tall are you? Six, six and change? Okay. Fuck. So, six feet. I haven't, yeah, six feet. I, the change is crazy. Change makes my weight more acceptable. Six and change. Did you guys manipulate this? No. Come on.
Starting point is 01:08:41 I think you're lighter than you think. You do carry it well. Yeah, you have a fat ass. I think he's a handsome guy. He's got wide hips. A lot fatter than I thought you were though. He's got Lola Bunny hips. He's got that.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Kind of like a Kanye. What are you? 219? Have you shit this morning? No. Okay. Oh you're fine. Oh, two, or 205 I think is doable? I mean, you're gonna be disappointing your wife for the rest of your life. Might as well start running. There's no reason to set the bar high here. Are you doing full suit?
Starting point is 01:09:13 Uh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're fine. Tucks. Cumberbund? Dude, how much, but like 15 in two months is like realistic without having to like, absolutely kill myself. I can't exercise. I'm all, I have like a pinched nerve with my neck. Huh.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Stop eating. Not exercising is going to make it toughur. Yeah, that's, uh, right. Right. Don't eat. No eat. to your fiance? Does she want you to be your best or does she want to look glowing and beautiful? She wants me to be my best but I haven't had the heart to admit to her that I care. I want to act like I don't
Starting point is 01:09:53 give a fuck. I'm like that's lame to get in shape for your, that's a problem. Yeah. Because if you get to your best and then she sees your best, she might be like, no thanks. So the only problem with that is I definitely weighed a lot less when we met. Yeah. I looked I look great and she'll occasionally hit me with this picture reminds me of when we met. Oh. Did she ever grab your your sides? No, but she rubs my butt in the morning. We also need to start. You're planning for the wedding.
Starting point is 01:10:33 We also need to start planning for the divorce. So when you get divorced, you're going to need to be able to lose 20 pounds. That's when you get divorced, you're going to lose 20 pounds. That's when you got to look your back. Right, correct. That's more important. You need to save some room so that when you get divorced and she takes half your things and you bounce back, you can go down to like 205. Yeah, you never, I don't think you ever want to look your best. Right. Because then that's it. You had to leave a little something left where you're like well if I really wanted to. Kyle can you vouch for this? Have you been in a mental spiral downward since you've been really working on your body? No. Okay. No it's amazing. It's the best thing I've ever done. Oh I highly recommend it. Oh. You're very unpredictable with this Kyle because I thought Nick was right I thought you were I thought you were miserable all the time I thought you would never not
Starting point is 01:11:25 for that reason okay but have you achieved what you wanted yet or is it always yeah no I I exactly I am very content oh okay and I still have the same motivation to work out as I did when I was making rapid progress so I recommend it wow wow Kyle refused a gift from me this week. I didn't know. Well, it would say it was kind of, kind of. You know how I bought you a gift and I bought you a gift and I bought you a gift and I bought other people gifts before? You bought me a gift too. I very much to do it. I very much. Yeah, I don't either. he's gifts. And I saw something I thought Kyle would like. I said, hey, Kyle, do you like maps? That's what pissed me off.
Starting point is 01:12:07 And he said, I knew he liked maps. But I was like, it was my introductory to the conversation. I said, do you like maps? He said, what do you think? And I said, do-up globes in the wooden frame and it stands in the middle of your room. Then you got to put it somewhere. Map goes on the wall.
Starting point is 01:12:31 You implied to me that you were getting a map. Because I said I like maps, you said like maps,ay. Wrestler, wrestler, wrestler, okay. Let's see, do you like maps? Come on with three ends. Come on. Yeah, it's like, come on, of course I do. Come on. Okay, globes, not nearly as much. Good, was gonna buy a globe. And you wrote, eke, with four Eaq's excited for whatever you decide. Oh, so that does seem like he wanted it. Did you want the glove? Oh, yeah, I wanted a gift.
Starting point is 01:13:06 He eked. But I want to get the gift perfect because I got you, Asian Elvis. Asian Elvis. I got you Wisconsin and I got you that hat that meant so much to me. Damn, I thought you got it. Is there anything special about it? Was it labeled? Did it like open up with a liquor? It was a 1958 Globe. It was that as countries that don't exist. And it was in the middle. It was, it had wooden, a wooden base and then it sat.
Starting point is 01:13:32 It was, I would have loved that. I would have loved that. I lied about most of that. I think it was just like from last year. It was $78 and I didn't that's a lot you don't have to buy that Get me something from the internet 200 on agent Elvis give me a nice map But but I'm not gonna I wanted to be something I find on my own. Okay, yeah do that All right I'll get you I'll get you a map. I swear to God I will find you a map swear of what the earth? It could be anything. It's not like fictional or fantasy. Topography. Okay. Oh, topography map would be cool. Mm-hmm. I like those. She the girl from Boy Mates World. Yeah, it is. Where? Topanga. Oh. Depangraphy. I got your back. I liked it. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Thanks. Topography. The Geogester World Cup was this weekend. It was unreal. Really? Who won? Because the production and fanfare is like becoming more and more magnificent and grand and do we have a highlight package? But like the competitors are getting like paler and more malnourished. Oh, they love awesome. You can tell they spent every waking moment of the past year playing Geogesser on their computer. Is Rainbolt a competitor? He's the commentator.
Starting point is 01:14:46 He's a commentator. Yeah, and it was insane. It was this guy Blinky playing this dude MK. How hunched are they're back? Oh my god. Yeah. It looked like tenured game stuff. Where was it?
Starting point is 01:14:57 Like just like announced and they're like, representing France. He basically speed ran his semi-final. I've said this before I'll say it again. Blinking you'll miss it, it's Blinky. And he comes out through this tunnel and it's like jock jams are playing. I got it. We got to see. Crowds going crazy. Oh, this is awesome.
Starting point is 01:15:22 They are so good. Oh my God. Jaw droppingly good. Look at the crowd. Where is this? This one dude like placed his guests in the middle of the Terranian Sea and they were like, he's hedging, he's wadhing, he's hedging, Sardinia, Sicily and the boot. He's water hedging. He's water edging! You gotta see this. He wins. M.K. could be the exact same position in a foreign country where he's not comfortable. But he knows it. His phones are coming off.
Starting point is 01:15:51 And that's like we've got a new champion. Planky. Oh my god. He's so good. Oh, hell, yes. In the federated halls of Stockholm, Dude, that's so awesome. Oh, it really worked. It really would. It really would look.
Starting point is 01:16:07 It really would love. Good impression, dude. That's good. I want to see this water hedging. There's some rounds were in the water hedging. The most nondescrist. The most nondescript field. And they're like getting it by like the kilometer.
Starting point is 01:16:19 Dude, gegesser is. is becoming a thing of the past already though. There's an... I've heard about this. What's our guesser now? Time guess. What? We need to play. Oh, Che's got to play. It's a random image from like Wikipedia of outside. You have to click the country and then you have to slider for the year. Oh, I love it.
Starting point is 01:16:35 For the country first? You could do it either. We either order. It's the same game. Oh wow. All right. What do you, oh wow and the logo? I think it's just the concept?
Starting point is 01:16:57 It's a good logo. It is cool. So I think it pools an image from like Wikipedia. You scroll and look. You have to go country and year. Oh my God. You're looking at clothing. Oh my God. Oh what kind of cell phone? Yeah. Zoom in on signs. All right Jay talk it out. Oh he's wearing a motorcycle brand. Let's check out the shoes. I mean these are more classic shoes.
Starting point is 01:17:25 They are 90 shoes. That person's in one foot. Oh, I don't know what those are. Uh, cargo pants. But those have come back. Ooh, he's got some type of... Lanyard. Uh, Carabina.
Starting point is 01:17:39 Rock climbing apparatus clip? And when was rock climbing invented? I feel like dudes wear these now. Do you not see the... As far as the place? Uh... Uh... What does that mean, Steve?
Starting point is 01:17:54 What does that mean, Steve? He dooms it on her face. Uh... Yeah, where do you think this is? My first thought was like London, but looking at the people around, I mean, it's in English. KB, you should do the place and tay should do the time. Okay. Can you scroll to the right?
Starting point is 01:18:16 Let me see the road sign. Oh, oh, Istand, Istanbul. Okay, so it's Istanbul. Istanbul Istanbul Well go to the street sign there's a Turkish airline anywhere I bet you there's a business that has Istanbul something here yeah it's in English I think it is the UK Looks like the year what do you what you guys think in uh 2003 that guy looks really really cool
Starting point is 01:18:42 One guy had an iPhone didn't he that like that guy looks really like the one guy had an iPhone didn't he That like that is popular right yeah go scrolling on what he's on what is he on flip phone he might be on flip phone that's a Yeah this is like two thousand like early 2000 2000 2000 uh that's like the Nokia I would saying I like that. London 06. Yeah that does look like a more modern phone than are they driving on the right or left? It looks like what is this right? What is that dude right? That's ass? How do you drive on the right? Bike lane So it's right that way. So I was saying they're driving the left. I think so. I'm guessing. How far right can you go?
Starting point is 01:19:27 This. All right, give it a guess. Let's go. I mean, no appreciation for the East of. My first thought was it's the streets of London. But why would something it in Istanbul. Bang. And then you did a year.
Starting point is 01:19:48 Year. I do not. It has to be Istanbul because it says it's not. Not in Turkish. That's specifically why it's not in Istanbul. Uh, there's no travel agency for the place in the bus. I feel like this dude's wearing like a headset that was nothing you think it's head set thing for a while. It's the 2020s. No maybe like I think this is
Starting point is 01:20:13 pre-Covid. I think like 2018. Look at the 18s. Okay all right make your guess it's his guess it's your guess. It's your guess. It's your guess. It's your guess. It's his work. You probably click my guess. It's the UK. London. It's the tune. Oh, it was 2010. Okay.
Starting point is 01:20:36 That's an old phone. All right. Do the next round. Oh, he's fucked. You're so fucked. Oh, you's fucked. You're so fucked. I don't know where that. Oh, you're so somewhere in Germany? Yeah, that looks German. Copenhagen 1927. What is that? I think it's later. That's a more modern car. Yeah. This is like...
Starting point is 01:20:56 Macclesfield? Buckston? Look for... Oh, that's like, that looks British. That sign says keep left. Ireland maybe? This is cool. Cigarettes. Oh yeah. Oh, that could be. Yeah. That kind of looks like seven up. But not.
Starting point is 01:21:15 That doesn't. There's a lot to work with him this though. the place that doesn't. Focus on the cars maybe. Yeah. Motor stores. T. H. DeVils. cycles so place that doesn't focus on the cars maybe yeah motor stores tea devils you're looking at things that aren't going to see reading all these oh well these are like road to perdition cars so these are like That's the movie he comes up with? That's the movie? It's pretty good. I have no idea
Starting point is 01:21:46 where this could be. Well it's in English. Yeah, but that I mean Dutch what? No, that's not English. I think it's Britain. This is way more frustrating than Washington. It's way more frustrating. It's way more frustrating. He's also taken forever. He's a 30- Make a guess. Okay. Let's go with Britain. Just somewhere. Somebody ever said Britain like that? Briton? Oh, that's just the middle of a slider.
Starting point is 01:22:20 I mean, these cars are like... You guys honeymooning? 45? They're going to this picture. We're going to 1840. I think it would look different in 1944, Che. A lot of shit happened then, Jay. A lot of shit happened.
Starting point is 01:22:34 Yeah, I feel like it would look a little different night. I don't know if we'd stop this when he gets both correct we 12 hour show seven years off okay not bad yeah that was pretty good that was pretty good that was pretty good one one one last one one one last one are these all Britain are these all Britain well that that one... I'd say no. Winkler, Winkler, Lieder Warren. That could be German, maybe?
Starting point is 01:23:12 There we go. That's... Oh, this means Swarofsky, maybe. But, yeah, this is probably Germany. What did it say Swarofsky? What did you sayah what did you what did you say there why did you goldwin oh Metro Golden films that's MGM so this is probably like at least established country what MGM is is that what that stands for what's an on-established
Starting point is 01:23:41 country nice Didn't know. So, let's go, kind of there-ish. Wait. Berlin's in Germany, right? That's a town in Germany? That's a town in Germany. Geez, you're, oh man, look these hats. Oh, all the women are wearing hats or head stuff?
Starting point is 01:24:03 Yeah. Do you just say duregs? Oh, all the women are wearing hats or head stuff. Yeah, this is way more frustrating. Yeah. Do you just say do rags? Vince Lombardi hat. He thought that's supposed to say Swarofsky? 60s. What did he? What is Swarofsky?
Starting point is 01:24:14 He did, yeah. What is Swarofsky? Crystal? Crystal. The crystal stores in every mall that you don't know how they stay open. Yeah. Hey! Whoa! Holy shit, Steve? Damn, Steve? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:29 Nice. That was pretty good. Ninety-five, you got a spot on. Did you get the country wrong? Oh, yeah, I got the country wrong. Yeah, it's in Austria. But it was a German-speaking country. Yeah, pretty good. Not bad at all. Yeah, all right. Good job. Pretty good. Do one more, but you only have five seconds. Yeah. Yep. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:24:54 Oh, God. Germany. Mozart. Seven. Six. Five. You not have the urgency. Four. Oh,, 3, he doesn't, he just goes right into his routine. 1, 1890, 1, 1890. Time, you lost. All right, Germany, 1890. All right, Germany, 1890. I'm not sure you really respected the time from it only goes to 1, so you got up. All right, just... Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:25:27 All right. Last one, 10 seconds again. Oh, Lord. Ten. Uh, oh, oh, maybe it might even have... Actually, I wanted to talk this out. It might even have the name on it. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 01:25:42 the name of the hotel, Oh, is that the Native American Wars? Seven. Wait, Che, what are you seeing? Hotel, hotel, something? I don't know, this feels like a Croatia type. What type of building is that? Croatia type. Uh, some type of mosque? Six. Five.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Where's Croatia? So, yeah. So, the Croatian's Muslim? Gotta be crowate Croatia yeah, right there right below yeah does it say it's wait zoom in on it it says Algeria it says Algeria it says Algeria it says Algeria it says Alger on it algeir on it and yeah and the Algear on it. And yeah. Oh, actually, check out the other section in the prep sheet. I actually talk about postcards. What?
Starting point is 01:26:32 That roughly? Oh, shit. Perfect segment. What is the last postcard you received? The last postcard we received on mostly. We got it last week and it was from a wedding and me and or said thank you for coming to the wedding or something like that and we thought it was from the people we sent we sent Blutman and Connor to North Dakota and we thought oh
Starting point is 01:26:53 that's awesome it was Mark Mark sent him from Switzerland. Yeah yeah it's pretty awesome that's awesome postcards are cool I miss him we sent postcards to as thank you notes it was a good way to half ask your thank you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you to th you th you thcards to us thank you notes. It was a good way to half ask your thank you notes for the wedding. Postcards are cool. I might send one this way. Yeah, they made your trips feel like immortalized and real. I don't think I've ever sent a postcard in my entire life. I've bought plenty. They are cool. Yeah I don't know if I've ever sent one either. They're gonna have a comeback. Really? Yeah, they're gonna be retro cool. Yeah, yeah. They're cool.
Starting point is 01:27:27 Wait, so where are you physical, physical mail is cool. Like if you get something actually worth something, like if someone wrote you a letter. If I got a letter from somebody? Because everything in that's not garbage. Oh, whoa! Oh, good feeling. Yeah, we should have a inmate pen pal for the yak. Oh, can we acquire one? Yeah, I think there's a website where you get a inmate pen pal.
Starting point is 01:27:56 There's got to be a yacker in prison. We have to have some of the heinous things. Yeah. If that's you, let us know. What about, what, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, things. Yeah. If that's you, let us know. What about, uh, what about, uh, what was the guy? Scott Pennis's wife? Scott Penis's girlfriend, yeah. Did we find out all that was a hoax though?
Starting point is 01:28:13 I don't think so. I think we found out something bad and we weren't all out of talking about. Yeah, we did. girlfriend and then we found out she deserved it she should have a longer sentence a run-on sentence no punctuation we were going to be like liberation fighters just like oh whoops maybe we're the bad guys why did we assume she was very innocent because she's a woman yeah freer and how did that start he would because he shit in the shower while she was imprisoned? Yeah, she was like coming back or something. I can't remember. Cincinnati. It was Cincinnati.
Starting point is 01:28:49 Scott Penis, you're out there, call in. Um, Che, were you just in a, did you have to go to the post office today? Nope, just thinking about mail. When's the last time you were physically inside a post office? Yeah. Would being a mailman be a low-key fun job? What's the last job you thought would be low-key fun? A crossing guard? Yeah. No, that was his prompt for that one was like if you had a billion dollars, ten billion dollars, you could do whatever you want to do? Yeah, would you be a low-key fun job? I don't know if this is still like a running joke, but back in like the 90s, wasn't it like
Starting point is 01:29:31 all mailmen have like psychological problems? Is that where that came from? Yeah. Is that where that came from? Yeah. Going postal? Why would they have psychological problems. I don't remember but it was a thing with that job where it was like... They were respected by their neighbors. Yeah, they're all wound really tiny. Hard day off though. I think. But I thought you got no days off I thought it was rain shine or whatever. No you think of Newman. Well he was a UPS driver helper for a few months and doing that.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Oh, yeah. He's right, he's right. Not the driver. No. Is it back in the truck? How did you help? We talking roadhead? This is no.
Starting point is 01:30:13 I was a UPS lot lizard for quite some time. It was a good. I did it at the thouper. It's the helpers at the holidays. They hire a bunch of extra people at the holidays. I did that once. And it's like all inmates and college students. I was a college farmer. And you have to go to the classes. Mine was by the Philly airport and they teach you how to like pick up boxes correctly. And then you get this random drive. I had to meet him in a McDonald's parking lot was the whole thing. But I had to... You yada yada yada tragedies. Yeah you gloss over the tragedy and then you linger on the things. Just like yeah this whole like divorce and all this stuff. But end of November through December we would get,
Starting point is 01:30:58 he would get his truck would be packed we had to pick up two deliveries a day like I'm making this up like 10,000 packages had to be delivered before whatever time every day. And so we would be going and running through people's yards and blah blah, blah, and the dogs are crazy. There's dog shit everywhere. People are like, oh, can you like, you would wheel this massive fridge-sized thing down their minds.
Starting point is 01:31:27 Every house being like a dog could just attack me. Or it be pouring rain or like, I don't know. It was like not, it was not the fun I thought it would be for $12 an hour. Yeah, Steven wants to do that. Did you have to load boxes and stuff like pick up? Yeah, we had to pick up. . and stuff, like pick up a lot of shit. Yeah. We had to pick up. We would go to like office parks. And I remember it was when there was some new game system coming out and we delivered to Game Stop or wherever it was
Starting point is 01:31:50 and people would be like attacking the truck. Like is it in there? Is it in there? Like people were going crazy. It's the holidays. . parks. Yeah, that sucks. Anything from off the back of the truck? Every now and then. Something for... I wish I had a guy who had stuff falling off the back of the truck. I mean you're like one guy away. That seems like... Jerry definitely. Yeah, there we go. This is Jerry all over. Yeah. He definitely. He has multiple guys to have stuff all the stuff.
Starting point is 01:32:19 Would you be able to mail, like if you stuffed an envelope full of stuff, would you be able to figure out how to properly postmarker without talking to anyone? Top right or return address top left where it's going middle? But if it's like, you're not sure if it weighs too much to thea much? Oh, no. What are we sending? Yeah. What are we sending? Yeah. of cash? Of, of, of, of documents. I would just put on so many stamps they can't turn it back. How much are stamps these days? Remember when that used to be a thing? 30? The price of a stamp? We'd be like,
Starting point is 01:32:50 God damn it. They went to 15 cents. And then just geogesser players now yeah it was a big deal to be on a stamp right like an honor like Elvis yeah what is the price of a stamp 38 I'm guessing since no I think it's more or or no idea 32 for a while I buy a 30 to a dollar I remember costing 32 cents. My grandma would send me in to get like a book, right? You'd get like the whole... Yeah. Spoole.
Starting point is 01:33:30 Can you tell us, TJ? Just have to lick them. God damn. See? So this forever stamps. It's different. Just a stamp. 73 cents. Just a regular stamp. That looks like it's 73 cents. Sure does. Is that all we got is forever stamps?
Starting point is 01:33:50 You can't buy like a standard. You can't buy a here and now stamp. We're the fleeting stamps. They stamp. A million dollar idea. If postcards want to come back. This is definitely. they go on postage it want five bucks a postcard say the word again bake on
Starting point is 01:34:09 bake on bake on got it not bacon like the big into price free pay postage yeah charge five bucks postcard don't worry about stamps be great weren't you into mail fraud for a little bit whoa you were you were Aren't you into mail fraud for a little bit? Um, whoa. You were? Uh, what by Caitlin Jenner? Yeah, I remember on the yak, early days he mentioned it. He was... Huh?
Starting point is 01:34:32 What were you doing? Stephen, you got uncomfortable there? You did mail fraud? I think like inadvertently maybe. Oh, what? Explain your mail fraud. Oh shit. I don't remember this at all. I've never seen him so hush.
Starting point is 01:34:51 We have to, I forget why, but if you put a return address on something and don't put postage on it, it will get sent back to the return address. So I think I tried to do that for something. That's a better crown. You put the... address. So I think I tried to do that for something. That's a federal crime. You put the- Like a pair of pants it didn't? Turn address as the address he was intending. Oh, that is mail fraud.
Starting point is 01:35:13 I didn't know that. But doesn't the people, if you don't put a stamp on it, doesn't the people you get would they charge you? I don't know. Wait, but you knew you were doing something wrong because you weren't buying stamps. I thought I found a loophole. Of course you did. Yeah. Yeah. I forget why this was brought up. This is no different than the loophole of peeing on an airplane. Uh-huh. That's one of the best loopholes. Yeah. Stephen thought he came up with the most genius idea that you pee on the airplane when you land, right? Yeah, you skip a line? Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's a loophole. If you're near a bathroom. So you have to be near a bathroom and you have to have to have to piss. Yeah,. Well, they're going to be clogged up because people getting off the plane. They move pretty fast.
Starting point is 01:36:05 But then don't you get off the plane more slowly because you have to go back to your seat? Correct. Everyone's getting off? No, this is like, as soon as it lands, like before the jet. So you have to go in time. The plane has gotten to the jet bridge. I mean, I'm not usually sitting, like, my row is usually like 20 to 35. So there's usually a bathroom like pretty close. So this is a very specific loophole. I mean, if you're near a bathroom, there's a bathroom in middle too. The post-plane. It's good piss, yeah. Post, post movie is top tier. I always be during a movie. Oh, I love peeing after a movie.
Starting point is 01:36:48 Post-yak, also good. Post-yak? Uh, post-car ride. Great. Yeah. I was peeing outside all Saturday. It was awesome. Post-playing piz.
Starting point is 01:36:59 Nothing better. There's just such a great flex when you're at a tailgate and like the girls have to go to the bathroom and you just stand behind the truck. Just let it out. It's just like I'm going to go right here. Was that when you said you could take down every check at the park? Yeah, I was. It's right around then. Awesome.
Starting point is 01:37:15 Listen, she laughed. Did it come up later? She knows who she's married to. That's Sicko. Yeah. So you were ready to tap out at like 10.30, how long did you last? To like 4.30 we drove back? That game was all in the sun, right? All in the sun. You would have died. You actually would have died.
Starting point is 01:37:37 And then I'd do the t-shirt cannon one right? Yeah, that hurt a lot. It was hot. It's a hot. It was hot. It was hot. It's a hot. It's a hot. It's hot. It's hot. I'm ready for like 60s 80s but it's never that perfect window is like two days yeah give me a sweatshirt I want to get in my sweatshirts the 10 day has nothing but 80s it's crazy man the mornings are nicer now what's going on around here what are we this is an Indian summer are we doing are we doing in Indian summer are we are we doing an Indian summer are we still are we doing an Indian summer I don't to I don't know we can't say Indian anything else so what summer did you have Indian food I that's true got you there speaking of loopholes
Starting point is 01:38:31 Got you there, well, then I'm just gonna sit Indian style, but if Indian style goes away, why not Indian summer? I'm just on my own. I gotta pee. All right. See you later, man. All right, bye Brandon. Later. Did you ever get your food? Did you ever get your food? Oh no. You want to do the gaunt?
Starting point is 01:38:58 to do the gauntlet today too. Oh, yeah. It's time to do the gauntlet today too. It's sponsored. It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the high noon end zone pack is here. It includes limited edition fanfaves pair and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit. The high noon end zone pack is a fall exclusive which means it's here for a good time. Visit high noon spirits. the next to Brandon. you. Stephen and Brandon do kind of look alike. A lot alike. Same type. Che, what you got bottom half? Oh, whoa! Stand next to Brandon. All right. Oh, Twinsies. Wow. That's a really weird out.
Starting point is 01:39:32 That is really sassy on me. This is not you. I've never shook for like three or four years. Do you never wear. Do some more poses. Yeah don't overwear myself. Do some more poses. Yeah, do a couple poses. Do the Charlie's Angels and stick your tonguns out. He's getting so sassy. There you go, Che. What's the Chez jerk trajectory looking like? I think he's, has he updated?
Starting point is 01:40:02 Nine. He's feeling himself with the box. It sucks because I love Baker Mayfield but I can't stand Stephen Shad. It's just a horrible, horrible thing. He's just the way he... Oh ten. Okay. And how many days has it been? I feel like his rate is high. He's about one of very high rate. Yeah. He's always at like midnight. He's a fourth of the way done. How is he doing that with the family at home? I think that's probably the only time. Yeah. Sound you hopped on that quick big cat. Yeah. The whole house is asleep. Yeah. That would be correct. There's like a one hour window. Every night. It's probably a thrill.
Starting point is 01:40:45 It's like this is my house. No one else. Let me prove it. Yeah and all I do is just sit and watch some sporting game that I shouldn't watch and I should go to sleep and then I regret it. Oh. We should have a cleaning lady to go on gong. What if she beats your record? That'll be so sick. I don't think it's fucked up to ask her if she wants to. Yeah, she's very shy. Polite, right?
Starting point is 01:41:14 White Sox Dave has to be. He's gonna have to do it soon. Oh, yeah. They're going down to Indy on Saturday and Sunday for the Bears game. I'm excited for whatever content comes out of that. Sure, White Sox Dave will have a little too many. Yeah, do a game time ad. A couple days with the White Sox Dave on the road. We should have that be a punishment wheel. I guess you guys have done it. Yeah, I went to Mazzu with him. I'd have fun. I like, he's fun to, if you're partying with him, absolutely. Yeah. Do it with Dave. Actually, yeah, he'd probably be number one to When Dave honky-tonks real hard. Yeah, when he, oh, can you play that clip? Yeah. When he introduced himself Dave. He's the best. Has anybody super cut his fuck-ups?
Starting point is 01:42:31 Like a compilation. Yeah, because I would just watch the hell out of that. Yeah, we should make a, we should do a clip show of his fuck-ups. Yeah, yeah clip show. And we react each one. Yeah, that'll be awesome. Yeah, we gotta do that. That would be a good stand, like on a. A Friday we have off. Yeah, yeah, Friday we have off. Maybe like Thanksgiving Friday, we run the best of White Sox, Dave. We each sit in there and we have like 10 we have to describe ourselves. Yeah, we could do drunk history of white socks. Oh, this would be amazing.
Starting point is 01:43:05 Or have little kids describe white socks. So wait, drunk, oh, children react. A drunk history where we have to reenact it would be funny. Yeah. All right, you want to spin it? T.J.C. has to go? Body armor. The act call is brought to you by body armorine water that provides real hydration with electrolytes for taste. Everybody's drinking it in the office, the sports drink, the zero sugar, even the flash IV,
Starting point is 01:43:33 after a long weekend. We can't get enough body armor, the sport water, in my opinion is the best. Head on over your local 711 and get your body armor, today. Julia, you're coming in tomorrow? Yeah. Fuck yes. When do you go back? Tuesday night. Got it. Yeah. What is your, what is your fiance think about you just coming here? She's like, yeah, that's cool. I think she likes it a lot. Hell yeah. Wait, by the way, Columbus, Funny Bone. Oh, yeah. October 13. You're on your way. October.
Starting point is 01:44:10 Not Julio. to come on. So will you be joining? Columbus to Chicago back to New York? I'm here now specifically promoting that show. Yeah, no, we love having you. Yeah, thii. Yeah, to come on. Real good hang. You're always smiling. Always smile.
Starting point is 01:44:31 Next week is surviving. I'm Dave. I'm Dave. I'm Dylan, nice meeting. You're Dylan, too. I'm Dave. I'm Dave. I'm Dave. I'm going to. Oh, play one more time. Yeah. I'm Dave. I'm Dave. I'm Dave. You're dealing too. You're Dillin, too. You're Dillon, too? You're Dillin, dude. Oh, the best. He's the best. Yeah, next week's surviving, so I'll be out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:58 And we're pretty in and out here in the office, right? Yack leave. Yeah. So you guys can do, yeah. I th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they, I think they'll have these doors closed. I don't want to risk saying a word. Francis is doing it, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:11 He's talking me about that. Wait, this is next week. Next week. Next week. Starting Monday. And we are here, but we're like in a bubble. Correct. I'm not allowed to do it. People are nervous. Somebody upstairs earlier was going through looking in every crevice just so they can memorize anywhere that things could be hidden.
Starting point is 01:45:27 Who? I won't say who. But like, no, they're in their mind about it. I'll tell you that much. Megan? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I'm nervous. Yeah's stupid. I am. It's insane what that game does to people's mind. Very stupid. What's the prize again though? Because 200, 250 motherfucking thousand dollars. Yeah, that's yeah. I honestly I don't. Why would I would have wanted to. I wouldn the beginning of the year. I'd be shaken up. If Mississippi State won a national title this year in football, he'd give me $50 million and then Big Cat said he would match that.
Starting point is 01:46:11 So it was $100 million. And we lost the Arizona State through first week. But we probably could have been OK. to lose their state in Toledo and back-to-back weeks. Neither one of them are Converse Games. You run the table. You run the table. You could win out.
Starting point is 01:46:30 You could win the table. You're back in. Our road games are pretty easy. We're at Texas, at Georgia, at Tennessee, and at all men. Toledo? I don't know. There's no proof. It's early. Just simply win the SEC dude. You'll be fine. So how about Ken State? Oh my God. It was 65 to zero at half time. It was worse than that. Can be there? Then I see they play Penn State next. So what are they doing? They also were down 30 to nothing in Tennessee did an onside kick. That's fucked up. So fucked.
Starting point is 01:47:06 37 to zero in the first court. Yeah. They could have, if they wanted to, they could have broken like, all-time record. Big T said that if he was like, I watched the whole game, if Tennessee wanted to, they could have scored 200 points. Oh my God. It's crazy. That must have th much fun for Tennessee players.
Starting point is 01:47:27 Yes. For the 100,000 people and you're just like score, score, score, score, score. Yeah. I would feel like it's like playing a video game. Yeah. Would you feel a little bit bad? No. Yes.
Starting point is 01:47:39 No. I'd try to get as many touchdowns possible. Imagine being in that lock room down 65-0 at half as a Kent State player. But imagine playing in a major college football game where you know you're going to win, you're going to score touchdowns and also I don't think Kent State's even good enough to injure anyone on Tennessee. Yeah, because that's all you can't hurt somebody is all-time bad. What's in it for the Kent State players? She's the free ride?
Starting point is 01:48:09 They got paid. You got paid like a million and a half bucks. Not the Ken State's the program. The program, but the players I mean, like what? Yeah, I was't know, like a Toledo goes into an SEC school and wins. Right. That's a man how often it blows them out. I guess a team that's like supposed to be good?
Starting point is 01:48:34 Correct. But they're not. Mac is going to be wild. NIU beating Notre Dame, Toledo beating Mississippi State sucks. I wanted Kent State sucks ass. I wanted I think they should implement in college football a coach swap game every year where the power five team has to say if you beat us then I the coach loses their job. There that needs to be more on the line. Yeah like If Thomas Hammock had a three-year deal the minute he beat Notre Dame how awesome with that? He's just the Notre Dame coach. Marcus Freeman's coach N.I.U.
Starting point is 01:49:06 And he's got to hope that he can beat a power five team and climb back back. That'd be awesome. And he gets to keep that coach's wife. Yeah, the house. He gets moved right into his house. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the game, you just gotta literally, they do a jersey swap, but it's permanent. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:26 It's a great idea. It'd be fun. All right, let's see who's doing the gauntlet. Shea and I made an executive decision that we think. Wait, wait, wait, wait. We're not doing it. We were testing it out. It might be too easy. if they don't hit it on the first, whatever. Yeah, they could use the green, that's fine. Just do it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:49:45 Okay. Okay. Fuck it. Uh, Teach, take me off. I'm a little sleepy. I don't want to do it either. Oh, I don't need to. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:49:57 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. go. Come on Nick. Let's go here. Wait, was he just Joshin? Were you Joshin? Joshin? We wanted to do it the whole time. Jonathan? Oh, I want to get, I want to meet Jonathan. Jonathan.
Starting point is 01:50:17 Jonathan. Jonathan. Yeah. Fuckin Jonathan. Uh. Nick, break the record. That's so, that's so like, think about how gay you are to be like, I have to change my name to be it to make it more. I love it. I want to meet that guy so bad. He's probably hilarious.
Starting point is 01:50:42 Jonathan. Definitely. Maybe he's just French. Victory Monday. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don probably hilarious. Jonathan. Definitely. Maybe he's just French. Victory Monday. I don't think so. All right. Ready? Three, two, one, go. Come on, Nicky.
Starting point is 01:50:57 Oh, oh, no. Not even close. Oh, oh. This is the hardest one. He's good? No, he's bad. Let's go. 13. He's gonna score on the first one. Told you.
Starting point is 01:51:15 Called it. He toed it too. Oh! Oh! No! Quick! There you go! Oh! Oh, Oh! Oh,
Starting point is 01:51:29 Ah. Should he move up? Are they doing the? There you go! Let's go. Stroke. Yeah, the green is probably better. The green is probably better.
Starting point is 01:51:41 Oh. Oh! Oh! Falls better. Oh. Kagan. We gotta get on the same page Brandon. KV Remember Cleveland with Nick was doing the half time. I forgot about that. Oh my god. I brought about to shoot threes.
Starting point is 01:52:03 Was it the three or foul shots. It might have been for he throws. He's doing pretty good. No, he's has a great that. Oh my god, I wrote about to shoot threes. Was it the easier foul shots? Oh, it might have been for free throws. He's doing pretty good. No, he has a great time. Oh, let's go! Oh, Royal Flush. Nice. Three ships with an H. Christopher Columbus ships with an F flush Straight Three Christopher Columbus ships pool house Hi he's high Uh Nina there you go. Let's roll. Pinta. Yeah Santa Maria. There it is.
Starting point is 01:52:45 Three of a kind. Three, six U.S. two pairs with the first name James. Madison. Manning. Damn, Nick. He's good. He's good.
Starting point is 01:52:57 Ouch. Watch that shit. Wow. That's a score. That was a score, Nicholas. Plus was definitely on there too. Yeah, I thought that would be Yeah, you refused to do it there what the hell teach? Yeah, I'm trying to tell me how to spell flush. Huh? I thought you're trying to tell me how to spell flush. No
Starting point is 01:53:18 No, no, where am I at? That was a good time. Dang. Oh, a few seconds below Gia? Ah. Interesting. Huh. And flush was there. It sure was.
Starting point is 01:53:37 Let's play back as typing for when she did it. Plush. Oh, TJ, when are we, when's the first, the year of the first gauntlet? We should all do it that day. Yeah, probably what was that late October? Yeah, early November. 1120, 1117. 1120, yeah, there it is, 1117. That must have been...
Starting point is 01:54:08 I was kidding, Tjeea I'm not mad of you he's not mad TJ I'm not mad today's not mad Oh no that was the best September gauntlet ever that feels good yeah You think anyone will beat it yours yes definitely definitely. With the green football now, yes. How old are you? Yeah. I thought you meant stand on the green. The question is, if whenever someone beats it, I get an automatic one-time rebut.
Starting point is 01:54:35 And if I can beat that, then that's legend. How close was I, T.J. That's legend status. If I beat me, if they beat me and then I beat them the first one legend legend I don't know how much better I could do Pick I had room to get his better also I think he missed yeah a couple things a couple things That's the biggest. It is. That was a pretty easy sparkle. You need something that you can just rip like eight. And you've got to go straight to the biggest one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:08 And you got to have TJ not, fuck. Fuck. He didn't fuck me. He didn't fuck me that bad. Cornhole. He fucked you up. Yeah, fuck you up. Yeah, fuck you. It is what it is. It's been a great yack. Julio back tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:55:25 Yes, sir. And another one. Thanks for having me, everybody. Oh yeah. Good to be here. I'm very happy you showed up. I was very nervous. You were going to take my invite and just shove it in my face.
Starting point is 01:55:33 Oh my god, dude. That would have sucked so. So you're what, day five at the in-laws? You're feeling comfortable? No, I got it. So when I came, I came straight from the airport. Oh, on Friday? Yeah. So Friday, Saturday, and she was there those two nights. Now she's back in New York. So now it's two nights with the unlaws,
Starting point is 01:55:55 two more nights of the milk carton. Also not quite. Snacks, are they free game? Yeah, you gotta add. The snacks are free game. It took me a while to feel comfortable to accept the Mekasa, trap. Right. I eventually have now, even if too. Yes. Oh, shoot. But not if other people then they wake up early. No, I'm sleeping. The quicker you can get to sleep the better man. I was thinking about that today.
Starting point is 01:56:47 They wake up so fucking early. Oh people wake up thinking about when they go to sleep. Just go to sleep a little later. No. They're tired. No. I'd I was. Now I'm stuck in a cycle. Of what? Of going to bed too early, because I want to go to bed later. What time you go to bed? Like 10. Oh shit, good for you. That is good.
Starting point is 01:57:16 That is good. But we don't have to wake up early. Yeah. How's Mook's late night show going? Good. Good. It's very funny. He had a psychic come on. He really? Yeah. He's got a good one today. Oh, what's he doing? He's got tonight. He's got a guest. Got one of the weirdest cats in the world. Weird cat.
Starting point is 01:57:33 Who is it? It's a comic, but he just in the world. It's not the guy who cooks stuff in like sinks and stuff. No, no, no, that guy's gross. So this guy's just weird. Maybe gross. All right, let's spin the wheel. Is today Moog's birthday or was it yesterday? Yesterday. Vergo season.
Starting point is 01:57:59 Today's all business beats birthday. Oh. Hold on. Fuck him. He's gonna be in a meeting, you know that, right? Yeah, probably. T.J. Do you forgive me for talking shit? I feel bad. It's all good, brother. That's what you got to do. Oh, did he make a mens?
Starting point is 01:58:28 He fucked you to protect you. I just snapped a little shit. Hello. Pete wanted to call and wish your happy birthday. Thank you. Just kidding, fuck you. He's gonna remember that. He's gonna remember that. I'm wishing Pete happy for the birthday.
Starting point is 01:58:47 Fuck him. Fuck him, man. He thinks he's better than us. He is. He really does. Yeah, I know. Is he better? Yeah, well, probably.
Starting point is 01:58:57 Yeah, probably. Yeah. He has tangible real world skills. Well, and I think that's subtly pisses all of us off. Yeah, it comes with trade-offs. Like if Barstow just ceased to exist, Pete's very hireable instantly. Where no one else is. Right, like we have multiple different videos of us saying,
Starting point is 01:59:19 like now. We're working. Yeah, Indian summer. We're done for. That is a little scary. Yeah. Exciting. Got to cherish every day.
Starting point is 01:59:36 Right, Brandon. He would get picked up in a second. Probably get a pay raise. He should go. What, Brandon? Nothing. That was a heavy think. Oh, because he said What, Brandon? Nothing? That was a heavy think. Oh, because he said right, Brandon, and I dreamed last night that I was back at the newspaper
Starting point is 01:59:51 and West Point having to edit a paper that was going to come out in the morning and I didn't have anything on the page. Oh, God. That sounds like one of the worst. Oh, man. It was. Especially if it's a topic you don't you that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a topic you don't care about it. Yeah, and you may go for it by making no money at all. Did you like bring a notepad places? We're an old-timey hat? No.
Starting point is 02:00:12 What was always in those hats? A piece of paper sticking out, but what was it? That was their press credentials. Oh, cool. But they were like just a number. So you could forge that really easily. Yeah. All right, spin it T.J. Don't fuck us. Oh boy, I didn't realize it was slim pickens.
Starting point is 02:00:32 There we go. All right, we're good. Tomorrow we'll be fucked. Let's go. Tomorrow will be fucked. All right. See everyone tomorrow. Please subscribe. It's the act. Have a good week. Love you let.

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