The Yak - Steven Cheah Would Be a SMOKESHOW of a Woman | The Yak 12-12-22
Episode Date: December 12, 2022RIP MintzyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Whoa, hello.
Barstool Sports under attack.
Guy put his video up.
I haven't seen it yet, but apparently he was yelling for Francis.
Yeah, he was.
He tagged Francis.
Oh, because of the Fox News thing?
Yeah.
Francis would verbally obliterate that guy.
That man wouldn't stand a chance.
Nancy did not know what was going on.
Hey, let's watch the video because some people going on ever.
There might be some yak listeners.
Hello, everyone.
Monday.
Welcome in.
Big week on the yak.
Omaha Steaks presenting sponsor all week.
Very excited about that.
We have a steak wheel today.
Yeah.
Donnie's going to cook.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
We're going to do that every day.
Pray that he gets a steak wheel. And then Thursday, we're going to do Oregon Trail. We're going to have to eat our going to cook. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, we're going to do that every day. Zod just pray that he gets a steak wheel.
Yeah, and then Thursday we're going to do Oregon Trail,
and we're going to have to eat our way to Oregon.
I think we should have the spot on the back.
I think there should be a steak, steak, steak wheel.
You have to eat a steak or place a high steaks bet.
Oh, I like that.
Or you are staked like a vampire.
Oh.
You're pierced by a wooden stick.
Okay, maybe we'll do that Wednesday.
Yeah.
Yeah, Thursday I think we should go on the Oregon Trail
and anything that Jerry kills we have to eat.
Yes.
But every miss he has to eat.
Yeah, like if he gets 100 pounds of meat, we eat one steak.
But, like, keep doing it.
So let's play the video.
Barstool Sports under attack.
Do you want the pick central angle or his angle?
Well, might as well do both.
You want to give him?
I don't know.
No, probably not.
Let's just do our angle.
So I guess it's the guy, Alex Stein, who had beef with Dave.
I can't even remember.
I'm not even fucking with you guys.
I don't even remember what that beef was about.
It was because Gaz posted that video.
That's right.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
He called him.
Yeah. And then Mincy called him because he's friends with him from college but gaz fucked up and posted a video where again that like one of the dumbest was literally like one of the dumbest
controversies ever because dave has dave is very very straightforward that you we can't be posting
anything that's like like making fun of irresponsible gambling,
and that was that video.
That was the only part of the video.
And it was just like for them to claim,
like this kid to claim that Dave did it because he's a pussy.
It's like Dave has been very clear.
We have meetings every quarter about responsible gambling.
Like that's whatever.
All right, so this guy just tried to storm HQ.
Oh, we had someone getting booted.
We had a homeless guy and a vlogger.
Holy fuck.
So that's probably where Mincy realized that was the guy he knows.
Yeah, I love it.
But, like, he said he has no idea what's going on.
What does he look?
I love Big Ev, by the way.
Go back. Big Ev being like, by the way. Go back.
What's his name?
Big F being like, let's ride.
Get him, Ebony.
Strapped up.
Ebony.
Ebony.
Oh, so sick.
You know what that move was, by the way?
That was Big F being like, if I have to kill a man, I need to make it so that they can't
see my face.
No face, no case.
You know what he said it really was, though?
He just hasn't shaved his head in a while.
He didn't want to show his hair.
Oh, damn. All right, I'll go with- No, no, no. Don't ruin his head in a while. He didn't want to show his hair. Oh, damn.
All right, I'll go with.
No, no, no.
Don't ruin it.
You got to go with my angle.
So, wait, wait, wait.
Go back.
Mincy, this is Mincy's college fraternity brother.
Yeah.
And this is the moment he realizes that he probably shouldn't have given this guy his
key card.
Wait, did he get?
No.
He gave him his key card.
There ain't no way.
I don't know.
We need to get the facts first, but maybe.
I've heard scuttlebutt that he might have given his key card to him.
That actually isn't true, but it's a very funny thing.
Oh, I got to go vote.
Hold on.
Wow.
It is funny.
This is also on the heels of Mincy tweeting it.
Grace O'Malley being like, uh after rough and rowdy being like
three-year contracts like you're like do you know how contracts work you can still be yeah
does he think he's an sec coach where we have to give him a 10 million dollar buyout yeah
he he responded to josh richards right like yeah you're three years left pretty boy yeah there's
nothing they can do about that three Three years. I accidentally voted yes.
I'll vote no.
Wait, no, yes.
Oh, you voted yes.
Yeah, I accidentally voted yes.
Yeah.
All right, so we're going to keep playing the video.
Hey, Kate.
Oh, yeah.
So this is right where Mincy, he's like, oh, I know that guy.
Okay.
All right, I'll just go over here.
I'm going to just go right here. Okay. All right. I'll just go over here now.
I'm going to just go over here.
I don't get paid enough to get more than that.
I love that by Smitty, by the way.
Because that's actually just brutal honesty.
Yeah.
He's like, you can't.
People are like, why aren't you ripping Smitty for getting up?
It's like Smitty told you why he didn't get up.
Vincey got up and saw who it was and then sat back
down. I know. I'm late to the game
here. I heard it from upstairs and I thought it was
Stu Feiner. I had no idea.
It could have been Frank, Stu, or
Troops. I had no idea. And so
was that the guy that had caused Mincy all that trouble
a few minutes ago? Yeah.
I'm so mad I wasn't here.
Can I shout out Marty Mush for getting in the mix?
Marty Mush got in the mix. Yeah, he deserves a shout out.
You do find quickly who's the ride or die guys.
Marty got a good push in.
Pat's in there.
Look at Pat.
Pat's in there.
Cody Lance is in there.
I'm mad that I wasn't here.
What?
It's a vlogger with one arm.
I shouldn't have taken seven.
Come on, KB.
No, no.
You can't punch him, but that's a 1v1 dream scenario.
But that also is like, it's just a good litmus test of who's down.
Which one of your boys is going to have your back?
Nice head push.
Well, that guy's angle, Ebony, gets a good smack in his face.
This guy already posted that video?
Yeah.
Does he look sick?
Yeah.
The person I feel worst for, by far, is security guard Mike.
Oh, he was going to town.
No, that was Danny.
Danny, Danny.
Mike has been waiting for this moment for years.
Oh, if Mike was here, there would have been bodies on the floor.
That gun was coming out fast.
There's a few times I've had to tell Mike, like, down boy.
He's like, you want to go?
Like, I can just
I feel bad for Mike Mike should have been here
he is the Mark Wahlberg of the situation
oh yeah that's the dream
that was also my first thought
if he was here it would have been crazy
he would have arrested him
citizens arrest
yeah I feel bad for Mike I kind of want to like
I want to pay someone money to like storm it
when Mike's here,
just so he can get some live reps.
Yeah.
What was their goal?
Obviously, their goal was to get attention.
They did it.
Which job well done.
You did it.
But what was he screaming about?
What was the- I think he just-
Did we watch that guy's video?
That guy-
Why did he bring the homeless guy?
I would like to-
I think he probably paid a homeless guy to be a distraction, right?
No, apparently that's like a TikTok pranker.
He's a fake homeless guy. I don't know if he's a fake homeless guy, but a distraction, right? No, apparently that's like a TikTok pranker.
He's a fake homeless guy. I don't know if he's a fake homeless guy, but he's definitely in a bunch of viral videos.
Does the guy know if he'd have waited an hour, we probably just would have invited him to sit on the act?
Yeah, if he had walked in, we would have been like, who's this guy?
Yeah.
It's true.
Wrong show.
Yeah.
Although Danny, it was already making noise out there before I even knew it was a thing.
Danny was already pushing and shoving it.
Should we watch his video?
I mean, yeah.
You can see a good angle of Danny in that video.
I'm going to watch it anyway.
So might as well do it so that way he doesn't get the views from everyone watching it on their own.
Yeah, don't watch it on his Twitter.
Watch it on our YouTube.
I'll get him a viral video.
That's not going to be money in his pockets.
Or will it?
He just wants attention.
I just don't want attention like that.
All right, let's watch.
We're here looking for Dave.
I brought my wife's boyfriend.
So he did bring that guy.
Oh, he's like a comedian?
Yeah.
Hey, I'm looking for Dave.
How'd he get right in?
Come on, Dante.
He had Mincy
the key card. Wait, what?
No, I'm just kidding.
I brought my wife's boyfriend in here.
Come on, guys.
So he was using the distraction.
I'm with my wife's boyfriend.
Oh,
his ass is out.
Hey, Dave Poinoy,
we're here for you. You invited me on your podcast, Francis Ellis.
Don't make fun of Tucker Carlson, Francis.
Do not make fun of Tucker.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this guy's so bad.
Oh.
There's double angles?
Double angles.
They had a second camera guy.
Oh.
There was a shorter guy in the corner.
That's a big fella.
Danny.
In low.
There he goes.
Oh, holy shit.
Oh, yeah.
Went back to get the other guy.
Good push.
Danny rocked it.
The fighter accidentally shut in the door on this guy.
That's why we paid Danny.
Danny's the man.
Look, Marty had a nice, yeah, Marty did.
It's Brandon with the double salute.
Fighter's face is all business.
Brandon was definitely the guy who, like, when you come and break it down after, he's like,
fucking dude, I was about to punch him.
It's right there.
I was ready.
He's lucky I didn't get my hands on him.
Yeah.
It would have been on sight.
And then PFT, I think, just comes up the elevator.
And PFT said, here's your lesson.
We're on the second floor.
Yeah, now he gets shut from the elevator, so there's probably more here.
Tico gets involved.
Yeah, Tico was a little much.
He's the third person in the hat.
I feel like the best thing we could have done was just completely ignore them and let them
yell in the lobby for a while.
Yeah.
What a day.
What a day.
Yeah.
I'm so mad I wasn't here.
What a day.
Mitzi had no idea what was going on.
I think he did.
I think he knew who it was.
I think he probably recognized that guy and was like, oh, shit. Well, no, but Mitzi had no idea what was going on. Yeah, no,. I think he knew who it was. I think he probably recognized that guy and was like, oh shit.
Well, no,
but Mincy had no idea
what was going on.
Yeah, no,
that's,
yeah,
in many ways.
On the last show,
I kept asking him
and he just kept saying
over and fucking over,
I don't know,
I didn't know
what was going on.
Even though he stood up,
recognized him
and then sat right back down.
Correct.
It's on video.
Gotcha.
Like,
how would anybody
know what's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
True. Mother, mother. Did you guys know who it was right away i didn't know no i only know who it is now because the people say who it
is yeah i only knew because mincy's reaction yeah that's true i know that guy i walked back in after
the conversation he covered his mic and said that was alex Stein, wasn't it? And I was like, I don't know.
Yeah, I knew immediately when I saw Mincy's eyes,
because I was like, oh, Mincy knew that guy.
Who does Mincy know?
Oh, yeah, Alex Stein.
Go to work again.
Look at the time.
Oh, PM.
Objectively not.
This is tough, too, for Mincy, because he's about to leave, right?
Yeah, that's true.
It's all he starts tomorrow. It's his last day.
Let's see. Let's check it on the
57% say yes.
That's pretty low.
I would be
pretty pumped with those results.
Yeah, I'd be like, see?
You could make a case.
You could make a case. Got. You can make a case.
Got Donnie pulling the stakes out.
There's like 10,000 people that want him to stay.
Accidentally retweeted a tweet of just Mincy's picture looking confused in the quote,
I have no idea how he got my key card.
Accidental retweet.
Jack called him Mincy Iscariot, which is a funny biblical joke.
He's willing to take a lie detector test.
Mincy said that?
He's like, I'm worried about my house.
I was like, well, you shouldn't have given your keys to Alex Stein, too.
He's probably staying there.
What do you think the odds are that they meet up for lunch today?
Yeah.
Two bros catching up.
Yeah.
Why not?
All right.
Well, there's the steak.
Nice.
I could go for one of those.
I mean, it could have been real bad if he busted in here
and we had a bunch of hot steak skillets going.
Oh, yeah.
That could have made steak week.
Donnie had just grabbed a pan and just hit him upside the head.
Yeah.
Man.
I don't know how our sponsors would feel.
Let's see.
Let's see.
Shouldn't have given him his key card.
Oh, man.
So what's up, guys?
How's everyone doing?
Good.
Bad.
I got a doctor's appointment, though.
We good?
Oh, me too.
Time's yours.
What?
2.30.
Actually, wait. Sorry. Sorry, KB. Let's ask, when's your doctor's appointment? Mine, me too. Time's yours. What? Two-thirds.
Sorry, KB.
When's your doctor's appointment? Mine's at three.
Which one's more important?
Which one's closer to death?
Probably his.
Mine's dermatologist.
That's not a doctor.
You've just been cucked.
I've been doctor cucked. Actually, I was pumped to drop that news.
What's your doctor?
General physician?
Spill it all.
I haven't been a doctor in so long.
Yeah, I'm not confident.
Whatever.
Why don't they have the technology where you can just get an MRI machine and they're like,
this is everything that's wrong with you?
I would love to.
I think eventually you'll be able to measure anxiety, depression.
Yeah.
The amount of weight
off my shoulders too.
If you just hopped in an MRI
and there's nothing.
Yeah.
I'd be like, fuck yes.
I mean, that gives me
at least like eight months.
I think you would worry then
that the MRI machine was broken.
No.
Because I feel like
I'm going to hop in an MRI machine
and it's just going to be like,
just riddled with tumors everywhere.
I'm more tumor than I am man.
KB, I'm happier seeing a doctor.
Breaking point.
Rough and Rowdy was awesome.
It was the best,
one of the best sporting events I've ever seen.
I was talking to Caleb after, too.
It's weird because the bar is still Charm and everything,
but we're legitimately getting really good at these.
They're running very smoothly now.
I remember in the first Rough and Rowdy.
I wouldn't even exit out of my screen because I was afraid to miss something.
Yeah.
Able Brothers just.
That was.
Can we see that clip the knockout
or into him afterwards i mean that's one of the funniest like those guys are just so electric
and they also hit us up for money again they just come to rough and rowdy and just come to
the green room being like give us money i do it i gave him 500 bucks. Do you agree with the decision?
I mean, I thought it was an early stop.
We just got it started.
I popped right.
I mean, he hit me with a good.
I popped right back up, but I liked him.
He's a nice kid.
Him and his whole team.
This is where he popped right back up.
We literally were just fucking good.
You guys were just getting started.
I literally popped up.
I don't know why the fuck he w were just getting started but whatever dude i mean we'll be back next rough and rowdy dan's a good addition i love that fucking kid so whatever dude this this shit was light dude i wish we could have went a little
what does tonight mean for the able brothers both you guys guys. I mean, I don't know. Like, it's just another one in the books. We'll be
back, as always, next event.
But I really thought
that was an early stoppage, but good for
Dan. I hope you guys feel about next
act. It's actually really nice.
That's you guys on probably an early
stoppage.
They're so funny.
That one, I think
that's Zach. That might be Spencerencer he got in a car car accident
and so he has like five thousand dollars worth of bills and i asked him and i was like do you
have insurance he's like yeah i was like so what's what's out of pocket he's like 500
and he's like but you never know rates go up he's good that's smart Yeah, Rufferati was incredible
Army Navy was fun
Patty the Batty
I spent like all
Saturday and Sunday
Fighting with UFC fans online
He won the fight
He said it wasn't even close
Right
People were so mad at us
Also didn't help that
I don't know if you guys watched the fights
Patty was in a fight that like It was close and he got a unanimous decision which was weird that he got a unanimous
decision but as they were announcing it dana white was standing with me and dave yeah so everyone was
like it's rigged it's rigged i saw people are like look at the way dana white shifts his head
real quick in that clip with the and it's you guys i was like wait there's dave and dan in the
background yeah the funniest Dan in the background.
Yeah, the funniest part in the reality of it,
I'm pretty sure Dana thought that maybe he lost because the way he came over was kind of almost like consoling.
Yeah.
My favorite gotcha on Twitter was people saying that you and Dave
were only supporting and only saying Patty won the fight
because he signed with Barstool or something like that.
That's crazy.
It's not true.
Why would you do that?
Yeah, come on.
I'm an unbiased journalist.
This is the fight of the night.
Wearing a wig.
Yeah.
And that guy, the Justin Gaethje guy,
he's just, no one's owned themselves more online.
Where I guess he like went to a leader of Chechnya.
Yeah, like a warlord's house.
He's a dictator.
He went to the leader of Chechnya's son's birthday party.
But he keeps being like, no one can show a picture of me with the actual warlord.
So, never happened.
So there.
Just went to his son's birthday party.
And got paid for it.
Yeah, he's been owning himself.
Yeah, wild few days at Barstool.
Living the dream.
Yeah.
Viva.
Rough and rowdy.
Patty the baddie.
The intruder.
Fast dermatologist.
I don't know how to rank.
What's going on?
The dermatologist is a big thing for me.
Yeah, it's huge.
I had this rash for four months.
Yeah, you have not shown any skin. No. I had this rash for four months. Yeah, you have.
You have not shown any skin.
No.
It's kind of a, I'm in a weird position, though, because it's, like, pretty much gone.
So I don't really know what I'm going to say, but it's not all the way gone, and I want it to be all the way gone.
Have you been using the same dermatologist the whole time?
I have never been.
Went to a full body rash and have not gone anywhere?
So you're going now that it's almost gone. I could only get an appointment like months in advance.
That doesn't seem like efficient doctoring to me.
I went to a couple years ago.
I went to the VA.
I convinced myself I had skin cancer.
I had this spot.
I'm going to get checked for that too.
I was like, oh my God, oh my God.
I like convinced myself that that's what it was.
And I was like, it's growing.
So I made like an emergency appointment at the VA.
And they did like a black lay and all this stuff
and they're like you should just have dry skin
you just need lotion
I was like okay
what is the shit that they do when they're like testing you
don't they like pick off part of your skin
and like I really hope they don't do that to me
yeah I have a scar across my stomach from it
that hurts a lot right
I was numbed to take it out
I had to go back in and take out more
I had like stitches across my stomach
it was a bummer.
Yeah.
I hope they don't do that for me.
Better me than you.
Yeah, definitely.
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors.
You've got to remember that.
You are a strong warrior.
I'm hoping they just gave me a steroid shot.
Oh, yeah.
Good as new.
Steaks are sizzling behind.
Yeah, we've got some Omaha steaks going back there.
Yeah, I think let's spin it.
So what do we have, three steaks?
Steaks.
Tomorrow maybe we'll do hot dogs.
So if your name comes up, you get a steak?
Yeah, so Steak Week, Barstool Yak.
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if you love the show it's always great to get our sponsors involved and they're giving you 40 for
free 40 off your order use code yak uh should we spin the wheel yeah let's spin that wheel so It's always great to get our sponsors involved, and they're giving you $40 for free.
$40 off your order.
Use code YAK.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
Let's spin that wheel.
So I think there's three of them.
I want one really bad. I really do.
I'm hungry.
If Roan's name comes up, it just goes in the trash?
Yep.
Just take Roan's name off.
No, no, no.
We're not throwing an delicious Omaha steak away.
Yes.
That's on Roan.
No, Roan has to eat it whenever he gets back.
I don't think we can throw away a steak.
No, put it in the fridge for him.
He has to eat it tomorrow.
Done.
You know what's good, too?
Because he just used some salt.
Oh, yeah, that's it.
He cooked it, like, perfectly.
Oh, Kate.
Horrible bitch.
Steak, Kate.
Get your steak.
Hold on.
I got to pop out my adult phrases first.
Oh, no.
Everybody likes that.
Should I do it here?
No.
Oh.
Reach it in my mouth.
I'm going to.
Okay.
Just do it.
Oh.
I like the sound.
I hope there's not like a drool string.
Oh, yeah.
Get those phrases off.
Oh, yeah. Nice. braces off. Oh, yeah.
Nice.
Okay.
Okay.
Should I take her off or double stake?
Oh, double stake.
She might have to go double stake.
This is hot.
Yes.
The prize may become a punishment.
Oh, Brandon.
Brandon.
It was just. Happy for Brandon. Brandon.
Happy for Brandon.
You wanted a steak.
Those look so good.
Yeah, they do. They look good as fuck.
Zah?
Zah?
Come on, Zah.
Come on, Zah.
Zah.
Zah.
There we go. Damn. Get your steak, Zass. I'm sassy. Come on, Zass. Zass. Zass. There we go.
Damn.
Get your steak, Zass.
Look at that.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
That's fucking good.
We're going to do it tomorrow, though, again.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I want a steak.
Those look really good.
Donnie's such a good chef.
He was sous-viding them before.
Oh, come on.
I don't even know what that means.
It means you cook it in water.
It means the entire thing is cooked through at the same time.
You ever sous-vide, bro?
Never sous-vide.
Oh, you should sous-vide.
All right, I will tonight.
Put it in.
You need to buy the machine.
Oh.
It's not that expensive, but it's, yeah, you put it in water,
and it cooks it to exact perfect, perfect medium rare, whatever you want.
And then you just quickly finish it on the pan.
Right here?
Oh, my God.
Perfect steak.
My teeth are a little loose after I take the adult braces out.
Oh, yeah.
So hopefully, let's see how tender they are.
Oh.
People message me like, quit eating on the mic or the the mic It's the worst sound
Look at you
That's a juicy steak
Actually stop
Actually cut it out
Damn that's a good looking steak
Very happy with your steak.
Nice crispy exterior.
No, I don't.
No.
That's not how it works.
A steak wheel.
You're not allowed to share.
I feel like it's my steak now.
I can share.
Did you send it back, Sans?
Yeah.
Now.
He said he would get a plate.
That would be so great.
He's like, ah.
Yeah. A little bit's like, ah. Yeah.
A little bit more medium, please.
Why is it pink?
Do we have to do, do we have to figure out what we're doing with gifts, too?
Oh, yeah.
We're going to do that today.
Yeah.
Let's determine the prices.
Yeah.
So that's Friday. Okay.
We're going to do, we're going to film our Christmas special after Friday's yak.
One hour yak on Friday, then Christmas special.
Very excited for that.
I am too.
Eggnog.
Everyone got to dress up.
What are we dressing up as?
All right.
Well.
Like fancy.
I'm dressing up like I never get to dress up.
I'm dressing fancy as fuck.
But you got to make sure you don't dress fancy for the
regular yak. Okay. Thank
you. Because I think we need to make it very special.
Thank you, Donnie. Thanks, Donnie. This is great.
We make it very special.
I need to rent a tux or something. I don't have any
dress clothes.
Figure it out.
So what should the price points be?
I think homemade, free, so something maybe you find outside.
20, 40, 60.
So there's 10 gifts.
80.
Homemade.
200, 300, 500.
I like that.
I like that I like that
I do not want to get the 500
I like that
Do we know who we're giving it to?
I'd rather have 500 than homemade
Are we stinky clouding too?
On Friday?
Should we separate them?
Maybe we should
I don't know
Stinky cloud could be it's own episode. But if he's hammered on
Nog. Yeah.
I do want a Stinky Cloud to fuck out. It might be
too ambitious. Is it
a boozy eggnog? Is everyone here
next week too? Yeah. Let's just Stinky Cloud
next week. A full show.
I'd be down.
So we're recording this
show and it's going to air next Friday?
Next Friday right before Christmas on the 22nd.
No, 23rd.
23rd.
Yeah, because we already have some Tyler O'Day's coming to Croon and doing O'Daniacs.
We'll do Gift Giving.
We'll do Eggnog.
Harold's.
Yeah, let's do Stinky Cloud on its own, because Stinky Cloud's going to be very very funny and I want to really stink you out.
I do too.
What were those price points?
Homemade
zero
and it went up by 20s
until 100
and then 200, 300, 500.
And then when we get to January
we have like
three case races we have to do.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, we do.
I think we have four in the next month and a half.
That's going to be bad.
Me, Steven, KB, and TJ.
Hey, when's your birthday?
June.
Zero then is just you find something in your house
Yeah
Or outside
Like a dry dog turd
It's like turning white
Are we going to spin to see who we're giving it to?
I think we should do
White elephant
Or whatever it is
Swap Swap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Swap skis.
You can figure that out.
What?
We need one more price.
What?
Zero, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100.
200.
And are we going for laughs?
Or if you get 500, a genuine gift?
A genuine gift.
I think it's a genuine gift.
Okay.
Then anyone might get it. This is going to suck. It's got to be a gift for gift. I think it's a genuine gift. Okay. Then anyone might get it.
This is going to suck.
This has got to be a gift for everyone.
I know.
It's more than I spent on my dad.
I'm definitely going to get zero.
Yeah, you are.
Zero being something from your house could be, I mean.
It's true.
Brandon's going to get a second car.
Yeah.
It'll be the same.
Two. I should have my car. You. It'll be the same. Two.
Just have my car.
You can have one of my kids.
Oh.
That's fine.
My son's doing this fun thing where he's now just waking up at like 5 in the morning and walking in my room.
He scared the shit out of me this morning.
He's dead asleep.
He was just standing next to me.
Yeah.
Oh, he didn't say anything?
He just stood there?
No, he was just standing there.
He's like, Dad, I want to get up.
And it was like fucking 5 in the morning. I was like, what the fuck? How? He just stood there? No, he was just standing there. He was like, Dad, I want to get up. And it was fucking five in the morning.
I was like, what the fuck?
How'd you get in here?
I had to start locking my doors.
I do.
I got a mini Alex Stein living in my house.
Just fucking running into places.
Five in the morning.
It was just way too early.
He brings Stella in with him to distract you.
Like, I'll make a beeline. Yeah, it's fucking five in the morning is just way too early he brings Stella in with him to distract you like I'll make a beeline
yeah he's fucking
5 in the morning like what are you doing dude
and what does he do how do you handle it
I told him go back to bed
he went back to bed but like
no he went back to bed
yeah I made him go back to bed
like no we were not up yet
that's a good kid
have a 3 and a half yearold just standing over your sleeping body.
It's quite a scary thing to wake up to.
How the fuck did you get here?
I probably just got to put a TV in his room.
Yep, that's it.
Yeah.
Tablet something.
Here you go.
Here's the remote.
You wake up.
Put that electronic leash on him.
It's all backfire. Electronic
fence around my house.
Or prank him. You ever fuck around with those?
Electronic fences? I tried it once.
The neighbors who had them, you would put the
thing on. Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I tried to do the shock collar thing with
Stella once. Makes you feel awful.
She barked. She barked.
She barked and then cried, and I was like, all right, that's it.
I'll just deal with you barking for the rest of your life.
I couldn't handle that.
Couldn't handle it.
We don't do the shock collar, but we have the ones that just make the noise.
Yeah.
Yeah, those are better.
Doesn't hurt them.
Might.
Yeah, might.
You never know.
They just don't like the noise, so they stopped doing whatever they were doing.
That caused the noise.
Did you guys ever used to watch TV in the morning,
like,
regularly?
Like,
either before school or
work or whatever?
Yeah.
The programming is
wildly different.
Yeah,
yeah,
the night?
Yes.
Yeah.
But just,
like,
it's,
like,
reruns of,
like,
Buffy and, like, weird weird shit like six in the morning
just wondering if anybody did that no no used to be a cosby guy in the morning
me too brother cosby seinfeld dbs saved by the bell we had a uh it's called the morning show
it was a 6 a.m show show of gospel singing in Tupelo.
And we would all watch it before I go to school.
But it went viral like multiple times with bad performances.
Oh, wow.
Oh, really?
The Breakfast Song where he talks about no more sausage and that's from there.
Pull that up?
Well, I think I've done it before.
But, yeah, it's just some really shitty performances.
My parents tried to do the thing where, like, we weren't allowed to watch TV during the week.
And then it lasted for a few months.
I was like 12, and I was like, I'm going to kill myself.
And then they were like, oh, shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, you need to eat at the TV.
No, but I actually said that.
And they're like, is he suicidal?
It's like the whole thing.
I had to go to therapy, and then I went to therapy. I went once, and they're like, what's wrong? I was like, they're like is he suicidal it's like the whole thing had to go to therapy and
i went oh i went once and i was like they're like what's wrong i was like they're not letting me
watch tv it was like i'm a really happy kid they're just not letting me watch tv and then it got fixed
this is the show brandon oh that's the show
yeah i love these two so much
oh this is great I love these two so much.
Oh, this is great.
This would be a good way to start the morning.
There was Buddy and Kay, but Buddy died.
This isn't live, is it?
It's pre-recorded.
It's live right now.
It is absolutely live.
When you watch it, it was live every morning.
I had friends that would have to get there at like 4 in the morning.
Would they sing this song every morning?
No, this was just... They would bring in gospel acts and people from Mississippi to sing and perform.
And a lot of them were really fucking bad.
These people are good.
They are.
This one's fine.
I just love it so much.
I watch it a lot.
See, there's Elvis on the back.
Yeah.
It's Tupelo.
She doesn't seem to care that he's there.
Huh?
Memphis?
Oh, he's from Tupelo.
He's from Memphis. Oh, he was from Tupelo. He's from Memphis.
Oh, he was...
Okay, you know what you're saying.
He was born in Tupelo, and he lived in Memphis.
All right, that's enough.
I think we...
Uh-oh.
Oh, he just mentions every single breakfast item.
Ah, nice.
It's still four minutes.
That is a long song.
Yeah.
He gets to cornflakes.
He gets to all the cereals.
Really?
Yeah. All of them? I think so. No way. Not all to all the cereals. Really? Yeah.
All of them?
I think so.
No way.
Not all of them.
Oops, all berries?
He says Special K.
He does.
I bet he does, yeah.
Yeah.
No more Special K.
Chocolaty Delight?
That's the good one.
Yeah.
New Dave tweet.
Uh-oh.
Oh. Oh no
Now he's gonna
Oh that's bad
Wait that's old though
Oh yeah
August 24th
Oh
Wait a minute
Well he just tweeted that
Yeah
Maybe Dave thought it was new
Maybe
Yeah Dave's on a tour right now Like he's He's out in Maybe Dave thought it was new? Maybe. Yeah.
Dave's on a tour right now.
He's out in
Sacramento filming a
commercial.
He's everywhere.
No more
bacon.
It gets in you.
It gets all up in you.
Alright, let's spin this wheel and figure out our gifts.
So are we going one at a time?
Actually, do an ad read.
I'll do an ad read.
Give me a sheet.
Because you got a steak.
I did, and it was delicious.
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I also, on the college football show the other day, I wore my Roback hoodie, and they gave me a vest.
A Roback vest, and it's the fanciest I've felt in a very long time.
I felt...
I thought you were Captain Collins for a second.
Yeah, no, I looked incredible.
You looked like a West Point officer.
I was also kind of pretending to be Dan a little bit, because Dan will go vest every now and then.
Well, you look fabulous.
Yeah, the vest felt good.
I was going to wear it today, but again, I had to shout out my boy, Mike Leach.
All right.
Yeah, fuck.
So sad.
That's not good.
Yeah, not good.
We got a wheel for toys. How do you want to do this? Name and then price? Yeah. Yeah. I sad. That's not good. Yeah, not good. We got a wheel for toys.
How do you want to do this?
Name and then price?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want 500.
I know.
Yeah.
Got a lot of wheels today.
Yeah.
Whatever it lands on for Dan is times 10.
Now this sucks because I just got a steak, so I know the wheel is probably going to.
Yeah, you will be paying.
Get your ass.
Going to get your ass.
But, like, how do we bring these in without you knowing?
Like, if I get 500, then I have my wrapped gift.
You're going to know which one's mine.
Should we bring them in a brown paper bag and have somebody...
Yeah, there should be a designated drop-off spot.
Yeah.
Or we should have...
Yeah, why don't we bring them all in and have someone wrap them?
Yep.
Have Spider wrap them all.
Like, everyone bring... Yeah, designated drop- wrap them? Yep. Have Spider wrap them all. Like everyone bring...
Yeah, designated drop-off spot on Friday.
Like dirty needles.
Spider wrap every single one of them, so that way it's a complete surprise.
Yep.
Because then you could pick your own gift.
Then you wouldn't even know.
Oh, then you could pick your own.
I like this.
Okay.
And he can put things in it to make it look shaped differently.
Oh, yeah.
He's a devious little fuck. He is. He's very devious. Okay. This is good put things in it to make it look shaped differently. Oh, yeah. He's a devious little fuck.
He is.
He's very devious.
Okay.
This is good.
This is good.
All right.
Show me 500.
Get 500 off the list.
500.
500.
500.
500.
500. 500. 500. 500. Five hundos.
Well, wait.
It's either you could do that or it has to be something with a heartbeat, right?
Should we put heartbeat on the wheel?
What are you replacing?
No, nothing.
There will just be one that isn't chosen.
Okay.
All right.
Are people going to get mad, though?
No.
I mean...
Animal?
If we brought a kitten, somebody would take it.
I'm shopping for a kitten anyway.
Oh, you are?
That'd be nice.
Heartbeat shouldn't be black.
Oh, man.
Oh, you fuck.
Good, good.
All right, $60.
Fuck.
Damn.
You fuck you.
A nice little Amazon tablet.
I don't want a fire tablet.
Guys, I shop for my kids.
I know exactly what everything costs, and I have to buy Amazon tablets every six months.
I'd be so mad at you.
If I just had a thing to read books. I'm going to cry if I don't get what I want. I will cry buy Amazon tablets every six months. I'd be so mad at you. If I just had a thing
to read books.
I'm going to cry
if I don't get what I want.
I will cry
if I get a bad gift.
We're only one
spin in the wheel.
You guys are already
I have an iPad
so I don't think
I'll use this
but thanks.
I'm so good
at being an asshole
when I get a gift.
All right. Yeah. I'm sure I'll use it for something.
No receipt?
No, I'll be very appreciative.
Show me $500.
I feel like you're the worst one to get $500.
AB's no spendthrift.
Really?
Mm-mm.
He'll buy.
I'm terrible with money.
Are you?
I'm treated as, like, yeah, no savings.
I'm living in the present. And it's strategic as well
It's actually smart
If this doctor's visit goes poorly
It's going to be a problem
Anything out of pocket
Who's this for
40
Easy Has to be it Who's this for? Kyle. 40.
Uh-oh.
We're getting easy.
Is that minimum or minimum? Little ones.
Has to be it.
It has to be like within a dollar.
Fuck.
Oh, man.
Show me 500.
Please. Please. I want Che to get heartbeat. I do, too. Show me 500. Please, please.
I want Che to get heartbeat.
I do, too.
Please.
This guy has made so much money off this wheel.
Fucking do it.
500.
500.
In your face.
You still have free and zero.
Oh, my God. God damn it. It's getting free and zero. Oh my god.
God damn it.
It's getting bad, boys.
It's getting really bad.
None of the high ones.
It's getting bad.
I get 500 if somebody's getting a gift card for a restaurant.
Taco Bell gift card, 500.
I just got the merch bonus.
He's going to have to use it for this.
Okay.
I know I'm about to get fucked. I know it.
Yeah.
The wheel heard you chewing those steaks.
Okay, bitch.
Oh, you want to chew?
Yeah, I can feel it.
Still working on that steak over there?
My teeth, my braces.
I know.
Soft gums right now. Soft gums.
It's so gross.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Yes!
Oh, God!
That couldn't be more perfect.
Yeah!
Hey!
Terrible for us.
Oh, fuck.
Who's getting a new phone?
You're the only one who actually,
it actually is perfect.
Oh, yeah, she was gonna go all out.
There's only one person
who would actually put effort into homemade.
Yeah.
Fucking Sass would get us a mousetrap.
Yeah.
Zero dollars is still on here, right?
Got a couple draft guards
lying around the house.
This is like a good episode
of Deal or No Deal.
We got the high and the low on here.
Megan Merkle opening the case.
She was, yeah.
She was a case girl, was she?
Yeah.
No, TJ, I'm not rooting for this to fuck with you.
The wheel doesn't treat TJ very well.
Oh, remember the milk?
I guess it doesn't.
It has a tattoo.
That's cool, though.
I mean, it's going to be triple digits
Oh yeah
It's not bad
Sit
I'll take that
Come on
God damn
It could be much worse
Poor Nick
I can't afford this
I can't afford this
Oh no
Nikki
Nikki Alright alright Come on wheel Oh, no. I can't afford this. Oh, no, Nicky.
Nicky.
All right, all right.
Come on, wheel.
I will go to church on this Sunday.
Imagine if I get the zero.
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
You got one job, wheel.
There we go.
Come on.
Give me the zero.
Show me God's reel.
Give me the zero.
Give me the zero. Give me the zero. Give me the zero.
Give me that zero.
Give me that zero!
Yeah!
Wait, wait, you got it.
Yeah, I did.
This is good, this is good.
You got some shit.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, I do have some shit, you're right.
Oculus lying around.
I think I gave it to Brandon. You gave it to Brandon? Yeah. I have some shit. You're right. Oculus lying around. I think I gave it to Brandon.
You gave it to Brandon?
Yeah.
I have some shit.
I didn't get the PS5.
Let me just say, I'll put together a $0 gift from my house that will be worth a lot.
I want a desktop computer.
I do too.
Okay.
I might have.
Throwing that out there.
I actually do have.
Steven, I got a truck.
I need to go get that rower.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, what if I brought that in?
Spider had to wrap it. I don't have the space what if I brought that in? Spider had to wrap it.
And I don't have the space in my apartment for it, but I have to take it.
It would be on the other side of my bed.
It would be on top of my bed.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
That really is such a shame that I got zero.
It makes so much sense.
This might be bad for him.
But he got the bonus.
He did get the bonus.
There really is no good option at this point.
80 is manageable.
I think I'd rather get 500 than heartbeat.
I don't know.
Where do you even buy something with a heartbeat in New York?
Like a Petco or some shit?
Animal shelter?
Yeah.
Find it.
Didn't fish have hearts, right?
Oh, yeah.
Snakes have hearts.
200.
200's not too bad.
Handle that, Zah.
I have an idea for heartbeat.
I don't know if someone gets it. I think I know what I'm going an idea for heartbeat If someone gets it
I think I know what I'm going to do for heartbeat
I'm trying to think of heartbeat
What are you going to get?
I want to adopt a child
Oh, yeah
I was going to say it'd be very funny
If someone got one of the Tamaguchis
And made them keep it alive
Oh, yeah
That would be fun
Yeah
That would be fun
That'd be very fun
I missed that phase
That was cool
When those died, could you restart it?
Or did you have to throw the thing away?
I can't remember.
Can't either.
I never completed it
or I just had it
for like one day
and then stopped
taking care of it.
So did I.
It was like,
for one summer,
it was like my entire life.
Yeah.
Is there a phone app of it?
I don't know.
That would be a good app.
That is a good app.
Yeah.
Yeah,
just keep your Tamaguchi alive.
No more bacon.
This is going to be 500.
This has to be 500.
I feel like he always gets called with what the worst things are.
Oh, Roan with heartbeat is bad.
Really bad.
Because you'd get like a spider or some shit.
Tarantula or like a horse
yeah
with a $3,000 a month
stable fee
yeah
oh wait I would
never mind
what
I didn't just have
a horse
in your apartment
wait heartbeat
is vague
like it could be a vague
like an experience
with something
with a heartbeat
true
good point like you have to go ride a horse in Brooklyn yeah what were you gonna say Wait, heartbeat is vague. It could be a vague experience with something with a heartbeat. True.
Good point.
You have to go ride a horse in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
What were you going to say?
Like a stripper or a service.
Yeah, that could work.
It could be a defibrillator.
We all have strikes left, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
One day Dave's in the office the entire fall.
Who's this, Rowan?
Yeah.
God damn it.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
There's no good options left.
Who's left?
Me.
Sass.
Sass.
It's just us.
Just you two.
Okay, so 500 might not be chosen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
RB might get left off. Yeah. Yeah. Art B might get left off.
Yeah.
That'd be tragic.
Would it?
500 doesn't get chosen.
I'll do 500.
No.
Oh, no, no.
I'll do zero for you.
No, I'll do both.
No, no, no.
You got zero.
All right.
You do have them.
Oh, I think you're worried about doing zero.
No, zero's no problem.
I don't think I have anything.
I'll grab like six things from my house.
I don't think I have anything less than 100.
I have a closet in my house.
It is the pile.
Oh, wow.
Like when I open it, it almost like falls on me.
You get the whole thing.
Yeah.
I really should just do my personal shopping at your apartment.
It's for me?
Yeah.
Very 90s palette.
Does the old office still have all that stuff in it?
No. It'd be good to go shopping through there. That wouldn't be a bad idea. very 90s palette. Does the old office still have all that stuff in it?
It'd be good to go shopping through there.
That wouldn't be a bad idea.
Sassy.
All right, so Sassy just added a date to Poughkeepsie.
Come out and get your tickets.
Oh, this is for Nick?
Sass doing a week in Minneapolis?
Oh, Heartbeat, that's just.
Heartbeat stays off.
That's just.
300, damn.
That's a lot.
A lot of money.
That's a lot.
Heartbeat off.
Heartbeat off.
Wheels just.
Didn't want someone to kill an animal.
Yeah, probably for the best.
Yeah, it really is. It was on there.
So everyone bring your, I'll coordinate with Spider.
We'll have a drop-off spot.
Now, the money amounts, you could buy something with a heartbeat if you wanted to.
Yeah.
I mean, that's not awful.
I could buy a kitten if I just wanted to, right?
Kittens are pretty cheap, right?
$10? Yeah. $15? Some processing fees. I mean, that's not awful. I could buy a kitten if I just wanted to, right? Kittens are pretty cheap, right? 10 bucks?
Yeah.
15?
Some processing fees.
You're really trying to get a kitten?
Yes.
I like that.
Yeah.
It's time.
Yeah.
Time.
Every man reaches a time in their life where they're like, I need a kitten.
Yeah.
Can we name it?
You can throw out names.
Aquarius. Aquarius.
Aquarius?
Yeah.
No.
My last one was Piper, so maybe, you know, think about that.
That's the type of name I like.
It will be a girl.
How about Muhammad?
Oh, I like Muhammad.
No.
It's going to be a female.
Muhammad Atta Bauer.
I can't do a male cat.
If I find something cute, I want it to be female. I'm going to get a female. Ahmed Atabauer. I can't do a male cat. If I find something cute, I want it to be female.
I'm going to get a cat later in life and name it Jefferson.
Why?
It's been a plan for a while.
I like that name.
What?
That's a plan?
How later in life?
Maybe only like 50.
You can't get a cat until you're 50?
I mean, I can, but I don't want to.
It's got to be named Jefferson.
I would name it Jefferson.
You've planned your pet buying
in your retirement years.
50 cat Jefferson.
Orange. Orange.
Orange is the best cat.
I like gray. I have a calico.
What's that?
All three or four of those colors.
Ugly. Neapolitan cat.
I love my cat. Does your cat have one eyeball?
He's cross-eyed.
Spork. I love my cat. Does your cat have one eyeball? He's cross-eyed. Oh, okay.
Cross-eyed.
Spork?
Spork.
I love that guy. Good cat name.
I have an Instagram for him.
Ever since the kid was born, we don't hear as much from Spork.
I know.
New toy.
New toy.
Yeah.
Steven's got, what else do you have planned for 50?
What other thing, because you could get a cat right now.
I'm trying to go into a, not like an old person home, but like a senior community as soon as I'm eligible.
Why?
What the fuck, dude?
That's where my parents live, and it's the best.
Yeah, no.
It's the fucking best.
My wife is two years younger than me, so it's slight rent.
As soon as you're eligible?
Yeah, so like-
Nobody wants to do that.
Nobody wants to do that.
You're forced into it.
It's not like an old folks home.
It's like a...
Like an old community.
A village.
Exactly.
Imagine just being amongst your peers and getting to play pickleball.
But it doesn't sound like you're going to be amongst your peers.
You're going to be there when you're like 55.
So I'll be probably the best athlete.
That's what my parents did, and that's what they say.
They're like the kings of the building because everyone needs them for everything, which
they could choose to or not, but they do.
And then they're like, they're like the King Ding-a-lings of the 55 and up.
It's great.
Yeah.
Why would you not want to do that?
Why would I want to live with-
Because I don't want to live with a bunch of strangers.
And a bunch of old fucks.
But I would also be old, but I wouldn't be like deteriorating.
You'd be competing against 75 year olds at sports.
Does that make you feel good? it would if i'm just dominating yes of course it does they do an indoor golf league they
get ripped every week they're like having themselves but there is an ambulance out front
like every time i visit yeah i'll tell you that that's cool wouldn't be for me yeah but
what about all your friends dying?
That's going to happen anyway.
Right, but you've added more friends to die.
Higher risk.
But in a way, that makes you numb to it,
so you're not even bothered by death by the time it comes for you.
Yeah, I'm confused by people that don't want to do this.
I'm not at all.
They got shuffleboard.
Yeah, I mean, you get to live your life
I just want to get some land and have my
50s and 60s just away from everybody
sitting on the cracker barrel rocking
chair
you just die in a house and nobody finds you for like a week
I'm dead what do I care
also I wasn't planning to die
I want to just be in nature
and no noise
I just want to live near
a horse race track and just gamble.
What would you guys want
that's $500?
I don't think there's anything.
Botox.
Botox? Yeah.
Any other options?
Nope, just Botox.
For me to purchase.
Botox sounds good. Yeah, Botox Botox sounds good
yeah Botox
alright
I don't really know how to go about purchasing that
you can find it
PS5 for the kids
more than $500
I don't know if I'd be able to buy
what is that LVR
I don't know if I could physically buy a PS5 and give it away What is that? LVR?
I don't know if I could physically buy a PS5 and give it away.
That would be torture.
I might be giving some away
this week.
I'm going to buy mine on eBay.
Tune in Wednesday.
Theragun, that's a good one.
You could use a Theragun.
What's that?
Oh, that will be part of my gifts.
No, sir.
So don't do that.
I'm going to get them.
I have so many.
I'm going to bring in like three.
I have so many.
But if we just all brought in a Theragun.
I have boxes of Theraguns in my house that I haven't opened.
I'm going to get you guys $500 worth of Omaha steaks.
My gift is going to be awesome.
Oh.
$300.
So much shit.
I want mine to be good, too.
So they'll all be in the middle, and then the wheel will decide the order. Yeah. And that's how be awesome. Oh. $300. So much shit. I want mine to be good, too.
So they'll all be in the middle, and then the wheel will decide the order.
Yeah.
And that's how you pick. Okay.
A Yankee swap or something.
I'm going to buy for myself, hoping that I pick myself.
Ooh.
That's a bad strategy, because then you're going to get let down.
Yeah, but why would Kate want a Gem Mint 10 ride-on?
Are we doing trades or no trades?
I think we'll have to do trades.
Oh, we're doing the swaps, right?
Yeah, we'll have to figure out a swap're doing the swaps, right? We'll have to figure out a swap
system.
That's tough.
And this is also at the same time
as Eggnog? Yeah. Oh, God.
It won't be like a case race.
We don't have to...
You have to get drunk.
I will.
Should O'Day be on the list or is he just
entertainment? Oh, he's entertainment.
I'm excited for it.
He's coming with O'Daniacs.
He's coming with some songs.
It's going to be a great Christmas special.
It will be.
Send everyone in the holidays.
You want to do the other ad, Brandon?
I did the...
Yes, of course I do.
Which one?
Shady Rays?
There's...
Yeah.
Shady Rays.
Well, there's... You've already done Omaha, right? Shady Rays?
You've already done Omaha, right?
Shady Rays. Shady Rays
offers the most insane protection program
in all of eyewear. Every pair is backed
by lost and broken replacements.
If you lose or break your pair, even on day one,
they will send you a brand new pair.
I have a pair of Shady Rays, and it's
the only pair of sunglasses I've ever not lost
or valued and loved.
So I keep them around.
If you lose or break your pair, I already read that part, wear with confidence because Shady Rays has your back long after you purchase.
They also provide 10 meals to fight hunger with every order and have donated over 20 million meals to date.
Look good in your shades and feel good by making an impact.
If you don't love them, you can exchange for a new pair or return them for free.
Within 30 days, there's no risk when you shop with Shady Rays.
Their team always has your back.
What you can do if you want a pair of these good-looking, awesome sunglasses that are fully guaranteed,
you can go to ShadyRays.com, use code YAK, and get 50% off if you buy two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. Again, you go to ShadyRays.com.
Use code YAK for 50% off of any two free pairs.
I've botched it.
Go to ShadyRays.com.
Use code YAK for 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses.
EJ.
Thank you.
Hell yeah.
Thumbs up there.
DJ's taking like a, he's an actual producer now where he counts you down.
Right.
You need a little red light.
Yeah.
iPad mini.
Whoa.
I have $100 to spare.
No way.
Yeah, it's only 400 bucks.
Well, then you can't buy it.
Well, he could do a package deal.
Yeah, a little warranty.
Get the pencil too.
Oh, yeah.
$300.
What am I getting? $500 is a lot of money. Yeah, a little warranty. Get the pencil, too. Oh, yeah. $300. What am I getting?
$500 is a lot of money.
Yeah. It is.
Should be a good gift, though.
Oh, the Apple AirPods Max are $450.
That's disappointing.
I thought they were more than that. Oh, you can do that.
And you just add a little something else.
A little $50 Apple gift card.
No one would use that. Those don't really get around anymore, do they?
You'd use it.
The Apple gift cards?
Yeah.
You'd use it on apps.
And you could buy movies.
You guys don't just use Amazon Prime?
I use Amazon Prime to rent movies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm saying you would be able to.
People would use it.
Yeah.
$60, Stephen.
You texted me and asked me my price level.
I didn't want to text him back. He texted me and asked me my price level. I didn't want to text him back.
He could have just asked me.
This is going to be like that episode of The Office where they do the swap and Michael gets Ryan the iPod.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's going to be like that. We have to do regular wheel. wheel we do y'all did classic wet the other day
yeah it was pretty funny yeah it was uh because julio and francis were here that picture of
francis was hilarious hunched over in the chair with yeah with the blanket on it actually fucked
me up really bad we we did the wet wheel. Rona and I did it before we left,
and then I changed,
and because, like, it was all,
like, my brain was all fucked up from getting wet,
we got, like, maybe a mile away,
and I realized that I didn't bring my coat
for Rough and Rowdy.
So I had to get out.
I ran back to the office
and get a different Uber to the...
Oh, Jesus.
That sucks.
That fucked me pretty bad.
While you were wet?
No, I changed. Oh, I was going to say. Oh, yeah wet no i changed oh i was gonna say yeah but yeah frances was freezing you look great in your maroon on friday night all right
it did great feet look at the feet on that guy little talon is he have circulation problems
that's actually terrible feet for him yeah they're lump are lumpy, aren't they? For him. That makes me feel good.
You wouldn't think his feet would be that good.
You'd think he'd have better feet than that.
Yeah, I agree.
That's bad feet.
Does it have hair on your feet?
Oh, yeah.
I got hairy feet.
My big toe is very hairy.
I got big toe hair.
And it always pools when I put socks on.
Yeah, and it hurts.
It hurts.
Not me.
It makes me feel better to think the hottest girl you know still has to shave her big toe.
She does. I think people shave their big toes. Whether you want to think of it you know still has to shave her big toe. She does.
I'm saying people shave their big toes.
Whether you want to think of it or not.
She's shaving her big toe.
No, not my girl.
They are.
She waxes.
They are.
It's a hidden secret.
My girl got laser on the feet.
Yeah.
You just don't shave your big toe?
Could you, 500 bucks, how much is laser toe hair removal?
Can I?
You get that.
All right.
Spend the regular one.
Oh, that looks packed.
It's getting thick.
What did you guys think of the, whatever the filter was where we're all women?
I thought you looked really good.
We all looked really good.
KB, you were stunning.
No, I thought.
No, you were very, very hot.
I was probably second or third, yeah.
Who was number one?
Jay, by far. Jay was hot.
Jay was hot.
I feel like this comes back
every season.
But there was no variety in the hair here.
We were all the same person, basically.
Jay just does it so well with the glasses.
They should have done Kate, too.
That would have been funny.
Nick, you look like the...
Who are the little chipmunks?
There's like the girl chipmunk.
I look like the girl chipmunk.
You look like the girl chipmunk.
Because I look like Simon, the actual boy chipmunk.
You look just like Simon.
Man, you...
I've got to be honest.
You might look the worst.
I look like Brianna Chicken Fry's friend.
Oh, God.
Yeah, Chase, Chase, yeah, I'd beat the break.
I would destroy you.
Brandon, you look like your pussy smells.
Yeah.
I look like a softball player.
Yeah.
Like a pretty good one, though.
Yeah, that's the issue.
I'm kind of digging what you got, Zaha.
Zaha looks good, too.
I'm kind of digging what you got, Zaha.
Zaha kind of looks like Omarosa.
Who's that next to me?
That's TJ.
Oh, TJ.
Cute as a button.
Sassy, you look very perky.
Sass kind of looks like you could be on Call Her Daddy.
I have a take.
Kyle's the ugliest.
No.
Oh, let's see it again.
I'm not into it.
Yeah, I think Kyle's the weirdest.
I think Big Cat's the ugliest.
I just look like I had a ton of Botox.
You guys all look...
Kate, I'm not talking about you.
All the guys who are turning into girls look pathetically ugly.
Besides, Che looks really hot.
I look decent.
That's it.
Zah looks good.
I think Rome looks pretty.
Sass is alright.
You look like you're a very meek female, Kyle,
that like, you know,
you bring your girlfriend to the Christmas party,
shouldn't say more than two words.
That's you.
Nick, you look like that MTV cartoon chick.
What was her name?
Daria?
You look like Daria.
Oh, yeah.
A little bit.
It's my glasses and hat that fucked it up.
I would be hot as shit.
Were you wearing your hat?
Yeah.
Oh.
That does fuck it up.
Yeah.
I think Zal wins, though.
I do, too.
You take fat shits.
No, I'm a nasty bitch.
Zal would need a different haircut.
He would look hot.
It's not close.
Che's the hottest.
I don't even know why we're discussing it.
Che's hot as fuck.
Brandon, I feel like that version of you and me would be like great friends.
Yeah, probably.
Like we'd be.
I want a face fuck, Che.
I do too.
I want him to be looking up on me as he's gagging on me.
Yeah.
Shoving it down.
I want tears in his eyes.
I'm shoving it in his throat.
Same, really.
Jay jerks off to himself.
A version of himself.
Yeah, you would.
You absolutely would, Jay.
What would be the best gift card?
It would have to be Amazon.
Flight.
Delta.
Delta would be pretty good.
Don't bring a gift card.
Make it a little bit more fun.
Buy something cumbersome.
I don't have to buy it right now.
There's not a lot of $500.
Bring a tattoo artist.
Whoa. That's a tattoo artist. Oh!
That's a good idea.
That's almost a punishment at that point.
Well, you wouldn't have to tab it.
What would you do with it? Refund.
Get something removed.
Your president could be getting
one of Nick's tattoos removed.
His favorite one. Ask his favorite one and then
remove it. A pro removal tattoo shop in Brooklyn that keeps His favorite one. Ask his favorite one and then remove it. There's a pro removal
tattoo shop in Brooklyn
that keeps reaching out
saying they'll do
my tramp stamp pro bono.
They'll do it.
I'm not.
I feel like it's a monument
to my stupidity
and I can't.
But it's a very nice thought.
It's who you are.
It's who I am.
It's too ingrained
in me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's your journey.
All right, what else we got
Anything
No
Al's got his
Doctor's appointment
I'm very nervous for you
I'm more nervous for Sass
But
Are they doing like
Blood work KB
I'm gonna make them
Yeah
I would
Yeah
Are you gonna John Q this thing
The one thing that
You don't rely on
Someone's opinion
Facts Yeah blood work is the best You got mono cue this thing? The one thing that you don't rely on is someone's opinion.
Facts. Yeah, blood work is the best.
You got mono?
I feel like
I've had mono and a concussion. I feel like
a combination of both of those.
Damn.
Would you have actually gotten a concussion?
Or are you just saying that's how you feel?
That's how I feel as of now. I don't have.
But they can have recurring symptoms.
Don't think that's it.
You know what the worst would be?
Is if it comes back and they're like, you're fine.
Oh, that would suck.
That would suck.
I'm not saying that's what.
Yeah.
Oh, you got to come back minimum cancer.
Yeah.
Minimum.
How long has it been since your last cancer?
We do this once a year.
Yeah.
You're due.
That was last Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Yeah, that's about due. That was last Thanksgiving. Yeah.
That's about right.
That was a scary time.
It was funny.
Are you as worried this time as you were that time?
I'm not worried about the disease.
I want answers, so I would rather it be a disease.
Are you worried that you've disavowed God before you go into this?
I have never disavowed God.
I still pray to him.
I think about him.
Shout out KP's mom.
Just add a little more fear to this whole situation.
You said you weren't afraid of dying
because nothing happens after you die.
I said fuck God.
Test me bitch.
I feel like we're not
paying enough attention to my rash.
Yeah you are right.
It could be anything.
The four bumps I have on my arm.
I feel like we're not making a big enough deal about that.
I'd be pissed if I were you.
You've had it for so long.
It's pretty good now, though.
I just need a little...
You're shot.
I just need some peace of mind.
Like, hey, this is going to go away at some point.
I'm due for an affliction.
There you are.
I'm going to lose a tooth.
Oh, there goes Spider.
I love how he just lays him.
Oh, yeah.
Look at that.
Spider's also just so down for it.
I like how Ebony just falls in behind him, too, like they're both coming.
Jesus Christ.
You don't want this.
Oh, no.
This is something out of a horror movie.
Oh, man.
Any more Dave tweets
yeah
last time this happened he almost made himself
throw up on the show
he was like purging to like
prove his worth to us
they call it a widespread panic attack
day before his last day.
What is he doing out in
the South?
He's just going out there to chill?
He's living there.
Dude, boots on the ground. Nearly 80,000
people have voted if he should be fired
or not. What are the results?
47% no, 53% yes.
That's just coming back.
40,000 people
say they don't want him to be fired.
That's pretty nice.
It's hard to fire someone like that.
Yeah.
But
45,000 think he should be fired.
A lot of people don't want your head
on a...
Gotta get more burners.
Okay.
Should we end it?
Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Ending it all tomorrow?
No.
Is tomorrow Oregon Trail?
Thursday's Oregon Trail.
Thursday's Oregon Trail.
Jerry in here with his shooting skills.
Tomorrow?
We'll do burgers or hot dogs on the wheel.
Yeah, steak week.
Omaha steaks.
All right.
Hell yeah.
All right.
See everyone tomorrow. We'll be right back. Littersteak Eaters